#shut up; you know what I meant
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do you ever see a person and you are overcome with incredible fondness? and you just think "oh." but not in a romantic or sexual way you are just filled with warmth and it makes you happy, it just does. and you think "i'm so happy you exist. i'm happy you are somewhere out there in the world, doing your thing". it's love but also not entirely
like people are lovely and i feel it in my entire chest like a burning candle that smells like roses and a sunny day
#on love#aroace experiences#aroace#aromantic#asexual#aspec#aroacespec#sunbloom talks#<3#just late night revelations#i like love and i love people :)#edit: loveless aros friendly btw#i think that's what i meant when i said love but not really all those months ago#“incredible fondness” is the phrase i really like instead of love#people need to stop coming onto this post being like “nO!! this IS love!!!” shut up you dont know me. maybe it is maybe its not#this was about personal experiences and it blew up somehow unfortunately lol
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I'm still learning to be unbothered by botoxed faces, fake big tits and noses that went from their nice original shape to look like a generic small one that is somehow "prettier." I got over the noses and somewhat about tits. It's still hard for me to see botox as anything other than frivolous practice that will most likely make you look ugly but at least I'm not as judgemental as I used to be.
I guess sth clicked for me when I saw a post about how just a little bit chubby person was saying "I wish I could lose some weight" while standing next to a fat person. The point of the post was that saying this will offend fat people because your worth shouldn't be measured by your shape or weight.
And I thought "this is bullshit!" Because most if not all people agreeing with this post would wish good luck to a trans man going for boob removal surgery and yet they won't support a person wanting to be fit. Both cases are about a person being unhappy with their perfectly normal body and wanting to change it.
And then I understood I cannot support one bodily autonomy while thinking the othe is stupid and harmful. It's everyone's choice I have no say in.
So yeah. If you know the risks and know where to best get it done then by all means go for it. Whiten your teeth, straighten your nose. Use botox. Get tattoos. Cut off your tits or make them big as watermelons. It's not my body, it's yours. Whatever makes you happy.
Even if you later regret some of your decisions, it is not my cue to berate you saying "I knew it was gonna end up like that!"
I may not be comfortable with what you do to your body. But it's your body and your choice, and if I want to exist in this world I have no choice but to respect it.
Yall do NOT hop on a cosmetic surgery hate train during an ongoing campaign against trans Healthcare I am fucking begging
#ofc I will not support you in your choices if you want to whiten your teeth by drinking bleach or getting botox by yourself#or getting slim to the point of anorexia or tattooing yourself while you're allergic to the ink#but that's just common sense so don't come at me with BUT SOMETIMES THOSE PRACTICES ARE REALLY HARMFUL AND YOU'RE ANABLING THEM!!! bs#shut up; you know what I meant#rant#sztefu talks
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they really put alicent in bridgerton blue on the reunion and genuinely expected me to think that she didn’t in fact march all the way to dragonstone to get wifed up? bfr
#I am only a girl living in a society#I make connections#she looks so pretty in blue though I want more#also you’re telling me that rhaenyra saw her walk in all cute looking to not completely crumble at the sight of her?#like my girl got all dolled up for you do something#rhaenyra IS a puppy dog when it comes to those bambi eyes shut up#Alicent was like you think you want her? I’m the love of your life you moron#and rhaenyra is like I KNOW#like she’s been trying to get the other woman to realize that very thing for the last 15+ years#and alicent’s all heartbroken like oh so you’re taking her to wife#and rhaenyra is like nO? WHAT?? all dumb and speechless cause jealous alicent was definitely not on her bingo card this year#whilst also having her own mental breakdown#because how on earth is she meant to explain this to her councel#or jace for that matter#that sure was goint to be a fun future conversation to have with her heir#but also Alicent just strutted into the room and started acting like a scorned wife?#which left rhaenyra feeling like the asshole parent who stopped paying for child support after the divorce#but also she never wanted a divorce in the first place?? and alicent doesn’t seem to get this?#like she’s already figuring out how to most efficiently empty daemon’s chambers for the woman to move in permanently#but alicent’s still yapping off about not having a place in court anymore and fleeing across the sea#and rhaenyra can’t help the bitter taste in her mouth as she states how that ship came in a little too late for them and it is messyyyy#hotd leaks#house of the dragon leaks#hotd spoilers#house of the dragon#house of the dragon spoilers#rhaenicent#alicent hightower#rhaenyra targaryen#bridgerton
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cheers to the man who sleeps during the end of the world
Grantaire sketch.
Micron 0.2. Derwent HB and 9B
#les mis#les miserables#grantaire#victor hugo#the brick#cant stand his ass btw#like duuuuuuddde shut up#when I first read his description#you know#he was extremely ugly#which is so mean#then I googled him#none of the people that have ever played his ass have been ugly#Victor what the fuck do you mean by ugly#ridiculous#oh it’s meant to show that skepticism is ugly#still mean Victor#still mean#oh uh#les amis#enjolras#les amis de l'abc#yeah#pencil illustration#art
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Suddenly remembers their dark experiences with an alternate version of their counterpart
#dreamtale#swapdream#swapdream dream#nightmare sans#dreamswap#dreamswap dream#The Mawwied Saga#Toasty Cinematic Universe#polarity#Damien polarity#What a trauma#If you know you know#Swapdream is a bitch#You guys know what im talking about#I was never meant to post this#the two having similarities i swear—#I FELT BAD FOR THEM LMAO#Okay ill shut up for now#nebula doodles
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Lark infodumping about guns to normal. Normal is thinking of hermie. Hermie and is dressed as a gun
hey tumblr user nook guy this is a crazy ass suggestion but I’m vibing with it
#I don’t Even know if this is what you meant#grey shut up#dndads#dungeons and daddies#dndads s2#grey’s art#normal oak#lark oak#lark oak garcia#normal oak swallows garcia#normally oak swallows garcia
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Imagine if you were a gay or bi man who tried a certain firefighter show because of all the attention it was getting for one of its mains having a later in life bi awakening.....and between seasons you ventured into its fandom in search of material to tide you over til the next one. And you're greeted by a deluge of posts and fics that are just cheerfully homophobic towards one half of the newly out bi character's canon relationship on the basis of 'well he's not the RIGHT gay guy' and pushing the idea that actually its fine to cheat on him because Reasons and he's sexually predacious based on......behind the scenes implications people have divined like they're reading fucking tea leaves.
But don't get it twisted....this fandom, like all fandoms, really cares about representation!
Sorry not sorry, but we really need to kill this idea that fandoms are welcoming and inviting and inherently progressive when they're frequently insular and reductive as fuck. Every single fandom I've been in has had major trends of people doubling down on their own headcanons and fanon interpretations of the characters and willfully enacting trends aimed at running off people who like the 'wrong' characters (usually characters marginalized along one or multiple axes), like the characters in the 'wrong ways' or other bullshit.
Scott is a Bad Friend fics overtaking Teen Wolf fandom was not incidental, it was a FEATURE of the fandom, because the vast majority of that fandom did not want to share its space with anyone who had the nerve to like its main character. Survivors complaining about or criticizing the prevalance of rape fics in a certain fandom has in my experience always led to a reactionary UPTICK in those fics, with gems like 'this character can, will, must be raped' in the tags making it crystal clear that some of these fics exist because how fucking DARE anyone try and push forth a narrative not agreed upon by Fandom Main.
I could cite examples for so many other fandoms, with the commonalities always being that vast majorities in these fandoms are explicitly reacting defensively to being asked to be more mindful of fandom trends revolving around or exacerbating racism, homophobia, transphobia, rape or abuse apologia, ableism, etc....
With the most prolific fucking rallying cry across countless fandoms being "No the fuck we will NOT be doing that," because lolololol.....
Fandom is an inherently progressive space, didn't you hear?
#anyway this has been on my mind in general for a few weeks now#and its more about fandoms just being fandoms#and like....what if they werent though#these patterns migrate from one to another as fans migrate from fandom to fandom bringing their bullshit with them#like do people never get tired of just trying to call DIBS and claim fandoms for themselves while shutting out anyone else#who might have a lot to fucking offer if you werent being so gd intent on staking a claim instead of sharing perspectives#and exploring new possibilities?#and I know not everyone links certain problems with racist homophobic and other behaviors to my own issues with dark fic and rape and#abuse apologia but I do inherently see it as sharing large portions of venn diagrams even though I do not consider being a survivor to be#something that demarcates privilege in the way that axes of identity do#as its situationally based rather than inherently identity based#but the way it can affect and shape large parts of peoples' identities begets commonalities#but my point is just.....a big part of why I so often lump it in is specifically because of how people react to these things or#defend against criticism across the board#like most people know my stance on censorship and how my blood boils when its people who are throwing accusations of#censorship at those raising criticisms....#but the point is just.....think about what censorship actually IS in all practical senses of the word#its about shutting down conversations. limiting the flow of information the sharing of perspectives and experiences#THATS WHAT MAKES IT BAD#now......what about criticism inherently lends itself to any of those things if you DONT accept as a foregone conclusion that criticism#is only ever offered up in bad faith and meant as a silencing tactic#instead of just a request or offered avenue of ways for things to be done better rather than not at all?#who is ACTUALLY out here trying to shut down convos and limit possibilities?#is it really the people being critical of fandom behaviors and trends?#or the ones doubling down at the first hint of any criticism and aggressively ramping up how frequently and visibly they engage in#the criticized behaviors in efforts to drive people away or as a silencing tactic of their own?#just saying
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Call me a Stolas apologist if you'd like, but Stolas wasn't wrong to portal Blitzø out.
Blitzø had basically just challenged Stolas to take his turn at insulting him, let's go, let's have everything out, let's make this breakup a fight to remember, remind me why I don't deserve you -- and Stolas. Doesn't.
Because that's not how fights like this have ever gone for him. Stolas's past relationship wasn't like Blitzø and Verosika trading insults in Spring Broken; it was standing still and quiet while Stella hurled abuse at him. He's stood up for himself against her, yes, but how can he stand up against Blitzø? When Blitzø's right, and when Stolas is seeing Blitzø through such rose-tinted glasses?
From Stolas's perspective, there really isn't anywhere the conversation can go after that. Anything else that is said will just make the situation worse. So he ends it. And, honestly, even if Blitzø was reaching out at the end there, he still hadn't had time to process, and I can't really see an emotional reconciliation happening that quickly. It probably would've just devolved into another argument. At this point, space and time are the best things for both of them.
#stolitz#helluva boss spoilers#helluva boss the full moon spoilers#full moon spoilers#btw i'm not blaming Blitzø either ilke i know what he REALLY meant and Stolas did sort of dump everything on him at once#though i think if Blitzø had reacted more ambivalently Stolas would've told him to take whatever time he needed and waited patiently#i really think it was the 'oh is this roleplay' and 'i love you' mocking him and his feelings that made Stolas shut down#everything after that just twisted the knife further#anyway i'm a little drunk and tired and not sure if any of this makes sense but i'm sad rn#also i understand stolas's trauma like being screamed at constantly does fucked up things to ur ability to navigate conflict lol
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Grips my shirt and tears it apart so that all the buttons go flying and SCREAMS I love Law and Cora so much what the FUCK!!!!
#Shima speaks#SLAMS MY HEAD INTO THE WALL. BREAKING THE PLASTER. LEAVING A HOLE#AGHHH. AGHHFHF HELP#Cora who saw a kid so angry and bitter at the world decided to throw away everything to save him despite the whole WORLD saying he couldn’t#Law who finally realized there’s still hope left in the world and hope left for him and there’s someone willing to sacrifice EVERYTHING#Just to save him. Just to give him a fighting chance. Just to let him be FREE#Law who came to realize how much Cora meant to him and how much love and care Cora had for him. Then losing all that in an INSTANT#The one person he cared about more than anything sacrificed his LIFE for him#And Law spent the next 13 YEARS working to avenge Cora…naming his pirate crew getting tattoos fashioning his Jolly Roger ALL after Cora#TATTOOS!!! HE GOT PERMANENT MARKINGS ON HIS BODY SYMBOLIZING CORA#I’M. GOING TO FUCKING EXPLODE AND BLOW UP. WHAT THE FUCKKKKKK#Oda writing the most epic revenge quest in history#They mean so much to me I’m GOING to die. Right here and now#Cora giving up everything for Law and Law giving up everything for Cora…THAT’S TRUE LOVE BABEY#No matter what kind of form it comes in that’s TRUE. LOVE. PERIODT#One Piece#Do you think Law still would have gotten tattoos symbolizing Cora if Cora had lived. I wonder about that sometimes.#I feel like he would. I feel like he’d wear them proudly and Cora would be SO embarrassed about it#Law’s not shy about shit like that he’d be super smug about it too#Law: You saved me and gave my life meaning why WOULDN’T I want to permanently mark my body to honor that#Cora: Because it’s embarrassing! Lawwww!!! 😭#Law: Too bad doing it anyway <3#Cora: You know what. Fine. But I’m getting a tattoo that symbolizes YOU#Law: PLEASE???#Cora: WH. WAIT THAT BACKFIRED THAT IS NOT HOW YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO REACT#Cora you NEED to match his freak okay.#I heavily hc Law to be absolutely unhinged over the people he cares about#Like scarily possessive AND obsessive kind of unhinged#He and Cora can have an unhealthy codependent relationship. As a treat <3#Okay shutting up now SORRY I’m just. Unwell. Sighs dramatically
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local man haunts (me) open practise yet again more news at 11
#txt#what an experience#i didnt go alone this time which means shenanigans heightened by 20#and by that i mean we were by the glass drinking mate (that security thankfully let us bring in)#and ___ kept going (lifts mate up to the glass) quieres? to all the players that skated by#and i had to just go STOP THAT#and they went they dont want our mate hmph what do they know about mate and i went. well thats the thing. they dont 😭😭#theres was a bunch of kids next to me which meant a lot players over to our side and ekky trucked over#and knocked the glass w his stick on a driveby and scared the shit out of me I ALMOST DROPPED MY MATE he had this shit eating grin#maffhew also kept doing little toodle-loo waves at the kids behind him it was so cute 😭😭😭#but anyways i think its so funny ___ kept focusing on ekky too and i didnt realise why until they just drop the bombshell of#“they remind me of your brother” and i went “DONT FUCKING SAY THAT WHAT THE FUCK MAN DONT SAY SUCH SACRILEGE”#the rest of the convo was in spanish and i dont know how to like fully convey 🇦🇷 banter in eng but it roughly went#“no he does. he has the same dumb face when he starts shit (because he kept bodily bumping into boqy and forsy)#the same 'was that me? did i do that?' troublemaker face. hes a shit stirrer but never answers to it. hes sleazy in that way.#he has the same beard too dont you see it“#and then i promptly spent the whole time going god he is just like my older brother oh this is a horrifying revelation oh god#anyways they kept saying look at his dumb face look at it just like your brother the whole time in spanish when he crept near#and i had to go SHUT UP PLEASE HE CAN HEAR YOU to which they snorted and went you said its fine if we spoke spanish here theyre not gonna#understand us and i was like OKAY BUT IM SURE 11 YEARS HERE HES GONNA PICK UP#SOMETHING AND WE KEEP CURSING SO FOR MY SAKE CAN YOU SHUT UP#mikksy and schmidty were super playful with eo. tuomo ruutu kept messing w mikksy. and ekky was like a damn bumper car bumpin everyone#maffhew ofc was very dramatic when he couldnt get a goal in against knighter and he did the horse headshake in front of us#and i went “you can tell whos number 19 because hes the most dramatic person on the ice always”#ekky was super vocal i know he wanted to practise against the empty net but aj was practising tipins and he goes#MOVE OUT OF THE WAY. MOVE OUT OF THE WAY. and aj so confused just moves like ???#and ekky notches one in goes over to him and waves his glove at him to move#also dmen + lundy were practising on my side of the ice afterwards (lundy ekky uvis kuli. kuli was practising solo. lundy was feeding ekky#for some slapshots uvis got some passes in with them) and anyways i did not fucking realise swaggy was still out because i was so focused on#the dmen until he shot a puck straight at my face and like man i know its not personal but damn did it feel personal with the lookback
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bad and useless forever. incurable
#forget everything as soon as im meant to do it forget that i have assignments#“vee make a list at the beginning of the week” i DO and it doesnt WORK#im doing all the time management things but i open up my laptop and wow now ive been on tumblr dot com for three hours#AND I DONT KNOW HOW I GOT THERE#oh but yeah of course i have perfect recall of everything about the interest but cant remember the most basic school assignment#dont know when i need to leave my house to get to school on time and roll up to friends houses thirty minutes late#but i can tell you exactly what happens in hit indie game in stars and time!! and then not shut up for three hours!!#been trying to do this assignment for three hours and i havent even started yet this is great. fantastic#does everyone have this or am i just Like That#someone mentioned isat twenty minutes ago and i havent calmed down yet because i get too excited whenever someone talks about my thing#hate it here so bad#and i WANT to learn things i want to KNOW but also i cannot pay attention at all ever to them because ????#what happened in my lecture yesterday?? who knows!! i was focusing really hard on not forgetting to print my lab on the way out!!
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fancy thinking jewels and gowns don't work as symbols of authority. imagine not making the link between wealth and power. couldn't be me. couldn't be any number of monarchs displaying their authority on their bodies. look at this absurdly expensive frock my wife is wearing. it's worth as much as your house. kneel, peasant, and kiss the hem of her luxurious garment. you're lucky, the next sumptuary laws will ban you from being in the same room as crimson silk.
#i know what they meant but also... no?#even if you interpret a queen's necklace as the cost of a knight on horseback that's an “I CAN BUY A KNIGHT” sign she's wearing.#if every man in the room is holding a sword how do you spot the king? would it be... by his head-jewellery?#(shut up *i* would wear my crown constantly and so did peter o'toole in that homoerotic becket movie)#*dramatic sigh* this is what happens when they let miltary historians write books about the middle ages isn't it?#*wipes my brow with a handkerchief made from imported silk and hand-embroidered with my initials*#*i'm not even sweating i just want to let everyone in the room see that i can afford it*#*continues consuming conspicuously*
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found myself talking to my wife about curly and anya's strained friendship and found myself having the Most emotionally fueled word - vomit i think i've ever had since my dad passed.
#txt.png#shut up tage#mouthwashing#tw / implied sa#tw / implied r***#i don't want to get into it but oh my god.#so much of anya echos in my life and i don't know how to process any of it#as a survivor it's so fucking. hard. it's infuriating. to be written off. brushed off. told it's not that bad#to not be believed#to have nothing be done.#i don't want your pity. your sympathy. i want to feel like what i told you fucking STUCK#that it meant fuckign anything to you.#you let me down and you continue to#this got kind of vent-y#sorry#to delete
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Jayce telling vi she won't make it on her own.... okay mr. projector...
#viktor just turned his body into the arcane and you dont even know!!! his leg is purple!!!!#im not going to excuse vi for saying the kid knew what he was getting into bc he didn't bc he is a kid (here we have ms. projector)#but telling jayce he has always been complicit of this he just didnt have to see it... yeah exactly.#and like she obviousky regrets the kid dying but it was jayces fault lmao why does he blow up on her??? the name calling got to him#jayce thinking omg he is going to off himself and viktor just trying to hide the evidence of his murder akdhsksj well yes he does want to...#i was wondering why the council was so Flabbergasted about the nation of zaun?? like they dont care and basically dont intervene#in the undercity bc they don't have any interest or profit in there. they don't gain anything at all from there.#so of course when silco asks jayce says sure fuck it. the only thing the council needs from zaun is the gemstone and its not even theirs#it's probably just fear of agression towards piltover as another nation and not something they can control or repress#silcos reaction to cait being wheeled in akdhaksj it sounds like he said 'what' he probably didnt know the girlfriend part... understandable#i forgor about her bringing the platter out... like ofc i didnt forget it but i didnt see it coming there. with bad memory you can be#surprised every time you watch the same show 👍🏻#i haven't cried because well the foruth time is a stretch now to cry but i still got chills at the end with the missile impacting....#and like whay would have happened if cait didn't free herself.... like ofc she would have bc everyone in that room could have killed her#not vi etc etc but she did just leave her so who knows really#anyways the monsters appearing in jinxs vision when vi mentions her past family is so poignant to her change.... they dont have the intended#reaction vi meant.... and silco is trying to shut her up for jinx's sake and look what happened to him. like vi really couldn't understand#her sister now and maybe back then either.... like not to be a silco apologist but it seems like he was the only one who could handle her#maybe im exaggerating but it would have gone wrong either way i think like no matger how much love there is in between them#idk man its so bad. like maybe this could have been avoided but it would have gone wrong in a different way for sure#and this couldn't have been avoided#talking tag#watching arcane#three weeks away still.... what now....
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started rewatching arrow and far be it from me to defend oliver queen but what the fuck is wrong with this man's family?? your missing son comes back from what you believe to be a five-year stint on a completely deserted island. alone. zero human contact and no concerns other than survival. and you want him to put on a suit and be in charge of a company despite having no education or training and being freshly returned from said deserted island
HELLO? do they realize what a miracle it is that this man is even coherent. he's riddled with ptsd! moira is like "oliver i am deeply disappointed that you didnt experience personal growth during your five-year survivalist nightmare. i thought you would come back and somehow not only be normal but also socially well adjusted." like madam the fact he is walking and talking and wearing clothes and acting fairly normal is astonishing in and of itself. he's been eating birds and sleeping in a tree. what does this man know about shareholders and ROI
#helen's arrow rewatch#i can kind of forgive thea because she's a teenager and has no idea what she's asking#when she demands the gory details of everything oliver went through#though quite frankly what would she do if the answer was “i ate dad to survive” because like. he had to eat something...#that being said when she was like I KNOW U WENT THROUGH HELL BUT IT WAS HELL HERE TOO#i was like girl shut up#like the AUDACITY to be like oh i went through hell in my mansion with my unlimited gold credit card#while her brother spent 5 years stranded on an island fighting for his life...#i cant decide if im supposed to actually feel sorry for his family or if im meant to be repulsed and judging them#for their out-of-touch rich people shortsightedness where they cant see past their own rhinoplastied noses#to realize exactly what kind of hell oliver went through and how their own self-obsession precludes basic empathy#and common sense. but let me tell you that what i am feeling is most definitely the latter
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Insomnia is letting up off and on, but I'm still super jelly brained from it case in point, I want to continue back with posting WIPs for the aired pages, but I can't remember what page I left off on now lmao (guess I'll have to dig through my blog to check... eesh. at least it's decently organized by tags?) Not a result of goo brain, really, but equally "AUGH" is that I let my screen protector go for too long without replacing it and now it's slick as snot and I don't have a replacement handy to put on it. This isn't a resulting consequence of goo brain but it does mean I'm going to be trying to draw without any traction while I'm already loopy. Good times ahead!
#shut up pu#I"ve had problems with insomnia my whole life so I'm sadly used to this#it comes and it goes#and right now it's in the middle of a big angry come#what do you mean that wording is atrocious??#it gets the point across#ordered a new screen for the draw slab so I've at least been proactive in fixing the problem#the only other problem is I hate drawing on brand new fresh screens too lol bad finger feel#only the middle screen is good for both fingies and pens#anyway the parts of chapter 3 I really love are coming up over the horizon#part of me does wish I would have tweaked the pacing of chapter 3 a little when realizing the usual posting schedule wasn't going to work#after real life delays all butted into production time bc chapter 3 was still paced for the 2 - 3 pages a week schedule#reading it all at once it still carries that pacing but I do feel a bit bad about the way it has felt at once a week#very occasionally twice lol#but I'm just a stickler for pacing so it bothers me personally probably more than it bothers literally anyone#knowing what it's meant to feel like on the proper release schedule vs. the slower release schedule is largely my own problem#and I'm feeling that extra hard right now because I'm having to do prep work for designing and asseting a new set#which saves a huge amount of time in the long run but slows things down in the immediate now#aka: I want to draw characters and story wahhh why am I making set pieces#also hey where the fuck's that stupid fox at he's even in the story synopsis write up where is he#get in the story proper you piece of shit#hello I am sleep deprived and rambling about comic production how are you doing
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