#I don't remember who recced it to me

[sugdenlovesdingle]

I'm an adult and I make responsible financial decisions

Like buying a copy of a book I already own just because of the pretty cover

[savebylou]

Hi, could you recommend me some larries accounts to follow?

Hi anon, yes althought I will probably forget so many people. Basically everyone I reblog I recommend but here are some:

@awesomefringey @daisiesonafield-blog @skepticalarrie @twopoppies they have a very organized blog with a lot of things about the fandom's history, I learn a lot of the fandom with their blogs and they also shared a lot of great content, fanart, interesting and funny things. I love following them.

@dreamings-free @sunshineandlyrics besides the organized blog that I love, they share updates on the band or other people related with Louis, articles etc. They also share funny things as well.

Now my mutuals and people that I follow. They share so many great content: fanfics, manips, gifs, analysys, discussions, fanart, edits, photos, reactions, memes, articles etc. I love following all of them:

@thechavier @hl-obsessed @srldesigns6277 @justthinkingaboutlouis @louisisalarrie

@louisarmpits @omglarryrabbit @rachelchinouriris @wendersfive @enchantedlandcoffee

@redpantslouis @shinylights @goldcrumble @statementlou @rainbowbeanstyles

@delicatepointofview @whatifai @tobethemselves @medicinelarrie @harryisthelilspoon

@nauticallyrics @nouies @punkpillowprincess @moonstrucklouis @tangerinequeen19

@sunflowervoltwentyeight @sunkissedlouis @ocean-sailor @louisgayvodka @lets-laughagain

@captainrayzizuniverse @defences-down @defencelesslt @bidamonalbarn

@braverytattoos @voxina @polarighost @starrysaturdays @nunchailou

@calordelverano @curly94 @thebus1boys @theeliampayne @theydopissmeoffavocados

The order is how i remember the url, I love their blogs the same and I'm sorry to miss so many.

Sorry for anyone that I couldn't mention, tumblr only let me tag 50 but I will do a part 2 and maybe 3 the next few days.

[o-uncle-newt]

I read Possession by AS Byatt after people told me "if you liked Gaudy Night you'll like this" and WELL.

Warning- spoilers for both books abound below!

So it sounded great- as a lapsed academic (though not in the field of literature by any means) there's a part of me that loves reading about academia because it's full of such obsessive people, and this book seemed to be exactly that and so I was excited.

Then I read it, and on the one hand, my first thought was "all these people are dull as heck, the only sane modern-day one is Val, and at the end of the day the historical stuff is just two people having an affair, who cares." My second thought was "there's just enough stuff here that makes me think that maybe the author knows that all of this is stupid, like the fact that Val is obviously one of the few sane ones here." But the ending made me doubt even that. Essentially, and I say this even as that lapsed academic, the author could not convince me to care about the important things at stake here, and as a result couldn't get me to care about the people who only seemed to care about those things.

I didn't care about Ash and LaMotte- they came across as two people high on their own supply who had a tawdry affair. (And each of them is the less interesting person, as a person, than their official partner!) As a result of not caring about them, I couldn't POSSIBLY care about Roland, Maud, and the rest of their crew, because their only functions were to be possessed by, and weirdly possessive of, these two entirely unworthy individuals, whose in-universe historical and literary significance Byatt couldn't convince me of, and to use that possession as a mirror for their own very lame romance. Beyond that they're utterly uninteresting, and there isn't even meant to BE much beyond that so it's not that surprising.

Anyway, I didn't like this book much, but it still made me think a lot. And there's a way in which a certain kind of person might say "well if it made you think then that's surely a sign of some positive quality" and... maybe? I don't know. I didn't hate all of it, and some parts were interesting, and I do have a whole separate list of things about the book that bug me including a breakdown of some of the book's (perceived by me) themes that I particularly disliked lol. Perhaps I'll post it another time. So I guess you can say it spurred me to thought, but loads of things that I don't like do that, and the only positive thing that that draws from me is that they're not downright dull.

The thing is, after finishing the book I was immediately struck by that "if you like Gaudy Night..." element, because it has a situation that felt weirdly similar (if for totally different reasons)- a young scholar stealing a letter from a library/archive. The circumstances are different- in Gaudy Night, the scholar does it to hide its existence so as not to contradict his thesis, and in Possession, the scholar does it so as to explore the document further, though still secretly- but there are still some interesting parallels vis a vis class. Possession goes into the class thing more than Gaudy Night does, but neither book goes much into it- the scholar is lower-class and someone who has scraped their way to their position, and is encumbered by a female partner of lower social and academic standing, and in the end they are juxtaposed against scholars who come from an elevated class and who have more money and opportunity. In Gaudy Night, Arthur Robinson is judged by the likes of Lord Peter Wimsey and a college full of women who don't have to do anything but think, teach, write, and grade papers; in Possession, Roland has to convince a bunch of academics of standing and resources to take a chance on him (and while this is more about money than class, he's the main one who's like "maybe it's good if Lady Bailey gets her wheelchair"). Byatt elides over this at the end by having him magically become in demand and on his way to achieving his academic goals, but I think in both books, the class element really could have taken on more significance in the text.

(I'd add as well that Byatt pits the upper-class and moneyed Maud, who of course is doing things for "the right reasons," vs the evil American businessman who clearly... doesn't care about Ash enough? Despite how much he clearly and obviously cares about Ash? The book was way more interesting when he seemed like a valid rival to the British team, who only thought that they deserved the letters more because of their obsession, rather than how it turned out at the end where the American dude is an actual cartoon villain. What made him genuinely less worthy besides having money without class, and of course having the bad taste to be American? What makes one scholar's possession more justified? Sayers was never this unsubtle.)

So that made me think more about Possession vs Gaudy Night, and the thing is, there are actual living people in Gaudy Night! Say what you will about the unworldliness of the academics at Shrewsbury, but you get a very keen view of their personalities by the end, even as they are (by necessity given the rules of their world) subsumed by academia, or subsume themselves in it. And the people who do fall in love are REALLY in love, and you understand why...

And somehow a book from 1935 feels far more interrogative of the possession (or lack thereof) found in love and romance, and just about the place of women in academia and relationships overall, than one from the late 80s. In Gaudy Night, Harriet accepts Peter once she has determined that despite their power differential (brought on by class, money, history, and to a degree gender) he will not threaten her personhood, because he has proven himself to her. In Possession, Maud accepts Roland because she has the power (money, class, position, even height) and so Roland actually cannot threaten her- and yet still that final scene is about her being taken by him, basically to prove some kind of a point. In contrast, in Busman's Honeymoon, the euphemistic sex scenes are about Peter trying to please Harriet.

When I say it's to prove a point, I'm paraphrasing Byatt, incidentally- who said: "And in the case of Maud I had made it very inhibiting. She was a woman inhibited both by beauty (which actually isn't very good for very beautiful women because they feel it isn't really them people love) and she was also inhibited by Feminism, because she had all sorts of theories that perhaps she would be a more noble kind of woman if she was a lesbian. And so she was a bit stuck. And Roland was timid because I am naturally good at timid men. It's the kind of men I happen to like. He's a timid thinking man, so of course it took him the whole book." I mean... yikes, but also that explains a lot. Maud can only bring herself to be with a man who is weak/effeminate (?) enough to justify whatever weird psyche Byatt has imagined up for her, but still she needs to get over her inhibitions and under him because... reasons. I don't know.

(Height is also interesting here as a point of contrast- Byatt makes Maud taller than Roland to make a point about how on the one hand she retains the power but on the other hand there is now even more of her that has to surrender. Peter and Harriet are the same medium height and wear the same size gown.)

I think the thing that most stuns me is how regressive Possession feels when it comes to gender politics on relationships than Gaudy Night does. I'd need a whole other post to talk about this, but the theme of Possession seems to me to be "relationships that produce things (whether art or children) are worth more than ones that don't." Roland is better with Maud than with Val because Val is a second rate scholar who drags him down (while supporting him financially) and Ash is better with LaMotte than with Ellen because LaMotte didn't only inspire his writing (Ellen's contributions are described only in the negative "didn't impede"), she gave him the child that Ellen refused to. Incidentally, in both cases it's the man pursuing a relationship that will give HIM something... But, to paraphrase Peter in Busman's Honeymoon, one wouldn't want to regard relationships in that agricultural light. Gaudy Night is about how two people can produce great things without each other but choose to be with each other for their own, and each other's, happiness. They aren't each less apart, and as I noted in a prior post, they don't need to solve cases together or conjoin their work in order for their relationship to be worth something. It is worth it for them to be together because it encourages some kind of inner balance within them and between them, as people. They enjoy collaborating but that is by no means the basis of their love (and, incidentally, I think that a lot of, if not most, detective series romances fail this basic test of "would they have fallen in love if they were accountants who met on a dating app." Peter and Harriet definitely would have- would, say, Albert Campion and Amanda Fitton have? I do NOT think so).

And here's the thing- another reason why Byatt's quote above is so off-putting is that it makes it clear that not only in the text but on a meta level, the purpose of the relationships is to prove a Point. I found Roland and Maud to have zero chemistry, and honestly I was expecting them to get together 3/4 of the way through and split up at the end when it turned out they had nothing in common- it seemed like that kind of book. I was kind of stunned when they only got together at the end in an "it's meant to be" way because nothing about it seemed meant to be. They were stuck together by that one thing and they each apparently needed the relationship for some kind of self-actualization or historical rhyming or other. (Whatever I say about Ash and LaMotte... at least they seemed to like each other!)

Peter and Harriet... they get together because they love each other. Do they change over the course of Gaudy Night, and over the course of the other books they share together? Of course they do. But if it makes sense, I'll put it this way- Harriet doesn't accept Peter's proposal as proof that she got over her hangups, Harriet gets over her hangups so that she can accept Peter's proposal. Her hangups only matter because they were keeping her from this particular kind of happiness- she was a fully actualized person even with them. She is a person who does things for human reasons so that she can build a mutually happy life with the person she loves, not a little plot mannequin being moved around in order to tell the author's desired Message. People can say what they want about Gaudy Night and its flaws, but despite the intricacies of its construction, nobody can call the characters' actions and motivations anything but brutally human.

Whether within their universes or on a meta level, the books have SUCH different things to say about the value and nature of love, the place of and purpose of sex, the place of art and intellectual accomplishment in relationships, all of the above in the context of femininity… and I can't help but feel that each time, Gaudy Night wins the contest. It's possible I'm missing something major about Possession, and maybe sometime I'll post the rest of my notes about the things I disliked and people can tell me what I'm wrong about- but if nothing else it made me appreciate Gaudy Night even more, so for that I'm grateful.

[pankracy]

I feel like this could use some warning but I've no idea what it could be so just, after reading the first sentence decide for yourself if you wanna continue.

incredibly stupid thought I just had: A is trying to manipulate B for whatever reason (though the worse the better), uses sex for it too. super bonus points if the fact that they have nefarious ulterior motives is an additional turn on for them. B is completely aware of the lies & manipulation and goes with it because they want to have sex. with A or just cause, doesn't matter. later, B feels guilty about it because they feel like they manipulated A by pretending to be manipulated so they could get sex out of it (lots of delicious delicious guilt), while A, still unaware of B being aware, feels completely fine and unburdened by what they did, & continue to do. later later, A finds out about B knowing all along and about B feeling guilty, and they're like. ??????????? how. how do you possibly feel guilty for that. in what world would I be the wronged party here. (they do not care but they know what they were doing was fucked up.) B says sorry.

[deconstructivesurgery]

so many mutuals and people online encouraged me to watch electric dreams 1984 and i have to say. i fucking GET what you people are on about now. i genuinely think i have a new 3rd favourite movie at least, i wasn't expecting something with such an inherently campy premise and execution to be that touching and genuinely fascinating.

we just don't write stories about computer polycules like that anymore. this says a lot about society and i will be insane about this for the prospective future.

[kyoupann]

Turns out it really is me and the queer RPF fanfiction I read at 13-16 years old against the world.

[scattered-winter]

looking to fuck myself up this weekend inquiring top 5 jason comics :)

while there are in fact very many jason comics in this world, asking for 5 good ones is a very tall order. nevertheless I did my best because I love he :]

5: batman: a death in the family

as depressing at it is, it's a great look into the catalyst event that really created jason as he is today <3 it has some.....less than stellar moments (joker becoming an islamic diplomat for some fucking reason, for one. what the fuck, dc) but overall if you're looking for being fucked up <3 that's a good way to go <3 and also a very good starting point for jason comics in general if you're getting into them for the first time!!!*

4: wayne family adventures (on webtoon)

funky and fun :] if you're looking for basic info/characterization on jason (or ANY batman character, tbh) it's a pretty good place to start for people who don't know who they like yet/where else to go. I will say that the character portrayals are VERY surface-level and since the webtoon is more of a comedy/slice of life genre, a lot of the....darker, messier aspects of the characters are left out, and some of the fanon characterizations have some influence on the writing from what I've seen. however it's very good for some fun shenanigans that don't require much brainpower <3

3: countdown: search for ray palmer

jaykyle bible <3 I also really love jason's characterization in this one as well, which is fairly hard to come by because his writing is so inconsistent. if you want clarification on the huge crisis event that this comic is part of, I am the Wrong person to ask <3 I largely ignore the big crises because they're so fucking confusing and I have a brain the size of a peanut

2: red hood: lost days

second to utrh only because of The Unspoken Thing that happens at the end of one of the issues (I.....cannot remember which one for the LIFE of me) that every jason fan has collectively wiped from their memory <3 it never happened <3333 but other than unspoken horrors, it's a good jason read!!! it shows some background on how he grew and changed after his resurrection into the red hood

1: batman: under the red hood

here it is <3 the red hood bible <3 every time someone has an incorrect idea of how jason acts/thinks I am waving this comic under their nose and assigning it like homework. imo this one is essential reading to understand red hood jason and if I had my way it would be required to read before writing ANYTHING about him (both canon dc writers and fanfic writers smfh)

*it's a good place to get into jason if you want to read about him as red hood, since that's the kickoff that begins his red hood journey, but if you want to read more about him as robin it's one of the last things you read. unfortunately I haven't read very many robin!jason comics since (while i LOVE the boy!!!!) he isn't as interesting to me as red hood!jason, but there are people you can ask for recs!!! @/autisticredhood would be a great person to ask for robin jason comics I think <3

ask me my top 5/10 anything!!

[miabrown007]

"She knew she couldn’t count on incompetence to save her, though in her experience the incompetence of people was surprisingly reliable."

Sarah Beth Durst, The Bone Maker

[yumenosakiacademy]

so many ppl in the comments of rin penroses new cover being like omgg splatoon font when no it's not this is the same font nayutaIien uses n similar style of pv w the lyrics appearing. i would kno bc nayut is 1 of my fav vocaPs. (youtube even recommended me a nayut song a lil ways beneath it 4 comparison)

the splatoon font has more sharp curves 2 it.

[romanticmoonchild]

Figured out the name for my second love interest but it didn't save in the program and now I can't remember what I chose

[xcziel]

.

[prkhaven]

YOU BELONG TO ME -p.js, p.sh-

pairing— fwb’s brother!jay x fem!reader x fwb!sunghoon

genre: smut minors do not interact, angst, slight fluff, friend with benefits au, friend with benefits’ brother au, park twin brothers, sibling rivarly, love triangle, p with plot, p with feeling

wc: 27.2k

-all warnings below cut-

warnings: morally ambiguous characters, profanity, toxicity, manipulation, possessiveness, arguing, kissing, mention of family member passing

smut warnings: unprotected sex (uh don’t do that), multiple sex scenes, p in v, dirty talk, marking, praising, degradation, creampies, fingering, riding, handjob, some spanking, cum eating, slight choking, dry humping, oral(f rec.), usage of nicknames(princess, baby, slut, good girl)

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You don't know how long you've been standing staring at the large portrait on the wall. Your body was achingly sore and the only piece of fabric you were wearing was your friend, Sunghoon's oversized shirt.

You somehow managed to slip away from his bearlike hold as he was sound asleep to use the bathroom but you stumbled upon the portrait dead center on the wall in the hallway that you walked through countless of times nevering noticing until now.

As you analyzed it, you wondered how you never paid attention to it earlier. You tilted your head to the side, zeroing your focus to the other person beside Sunghoon in the portrait, Park Jongseong or how Sunghoon referred to him the very few times he did talk about him, Jay, his twin older brother.

His sharp jawline, the butterfly shaped birthmark on the side of his neck, the earrings on his ear, his sharp piercing gaze and slicked hair with an undercut made you furrow your eyebrows feeling the slight downward frown tugging at your lips as he felt all too familiar but you couldn't seem to place a finger on where you've seen him before.

Your thoughts were interrupted when you felt a hand creeping onto your waist, pulling you as a kiss was planted on the side of your face, "What's in that pretty head of yours princess?" Sunghoon's deep morning voice whispered into the shell of your ear which usually made you weak but this time it didn't as you were too preoccupied by the portrait

"You never talk about your brother Hoonie" Your gaze remained on Jay's stoic face which didn't go unnoticed by Sunghoon who normally would soften to mush by the nickname only you were allowed to use

However, the mere mention of his brother falling through your lips fueled something nasty within him.

Sunghoon took a glance at the portrait you never once looked away from even when he appeared next to you. He stared at the photo remembering how his father proudly put the portrait up when it first arrived.

His expressionless face now held a deep scowl the more he looked at the picture or more so at his brother beside him in the photo whose gaze he interpreted to be nothing more than pure judgment and disappointment towards him and that angered Sunghoon.

His grip on your waist tightened as he ripped his eyes away from the picture to begin planting desperate kisses from your cheek down to your neck to get your attention away from the portrait, off his brother.

"Let's go back to bed mhm?" Sunghoon hummed against your neck causing you to giggle from the ticklish manner, he smirked in satisfaction that he was able to garner your attention back onto him where it belonged, not on his brother

You tried to push him off but he wouldn't budge as you thought he would've, "You need to go get ready, you have class toda-" You were interrupted by his lips capturing yours in a haste to shut you up

"I think I'll miss class today" Sunghoon mumbled against your lips as he fully wrapped his arms around you as he turned his back to the picture as he ushered you back to his room

You smiled in the kiss allowing yourself to be guided right back into the very room and bed you knew far too well to just be considered Sunghoon's friend.

Your hands ruffled in his hair as the kiss grew more feverish and when his lips detached from yours to trail back to your neck with hopeless need to mark you for everyone to see, you let out breathless gasps as he sucked on your neck running the wet stride of his tongue against the burning blemish slowly growing on your neck to soothe it before moving to an unmarked patch on your neck to continue his burning desire to completely devour you up.

He kicked open his bedroom door and not wanting to let you go for even a second he used his foot to close the door because if the portrait was out of sight, it was out of mind.

Yet, his harsh tug on your skin through his teeth made you unconsciously open your eyes, your gasps became louder from his growing desperation and through your half lidded eyes and the few seconds before his bedroom door closed, you caught a glimpse of the portrait once again.

You didn't know why Sunghoon avoided any conversation involving his brother however, what ate you up the most was why Jay seemed so familiar to you.

But the thought ended the moment Sunghoon's bedroom door slammed shut, his mouth going further down your neck to your collarbone as you were led right back into his bed.

ᥫ᭡.

Before the start of you and Sunghoon, you lived in the peaceful life you worked so hard to create for yourself, forgetting mostly of the taints of your haunting past but it wasn’t until he showed up that there was a shift in your said peaceful life. 

You never anticipated crossing paths with him and yet one day you found him waiting outside your lecture for you. At first he spewed nonsense that went through one ear and out the other but he brought your attention to the failing paper shoved in your face.

You looked between him and the paper wondering what his failing grade had to do with you but when he asked if you could tutor him, you kindly declined offering someone who would be more than willing to help him but he was adamant on having you as his tutor. 

And it didn’t stop there. You didn’t know how stubborn he was at the first but you were quick to realize; Sunghoon wanted, needed, you to be his tutor for whatever reason that he always made sure to greet you whenever he saw you, would even offer to hold your bag noticing how you rubbed your sore shoulder because of it or how he would randomly gift you things that he oddly knew you liked.

You weren’t sure if he was doing this for you to convince you to become his tutor or simply because he was bored and wanted to meddle into your life but after weeks of him following you around like a lost puppy you finally caved in and agreed to become his tutor. 

When his bright smile showed the two teeth like fangs that peaked out hearing the agreement fired something causing a twinge tingle in your brain. 

You thought that would be the end of it. However, instead of only seeing him during the tutoring sessions, you began seeing him everywhere.

Your life was suddenly becoming immersed with him that soon enough you were able to spot him in any crowd.

Now you weren’t sure if it was because of an illusive spotlight beaming down on him or if it was just the reflectiveness of the bracelet he seemed to always wear shimmering in the light but in every and any sea of people he shone brightly making it easy for you to spot him from a mile away.

Even when you were out late, Sunghoon would glimmer in all his glory after magically appearing out of the shadows since he happened to be out too and would end up tagging along wherever you were going, abandoning his own plans to be with you. 

It was awkward and quiet at first not knowing what to talk about outside of the sessions but whenever you spewed something to get rid of the silence, he listened even when you deemed it pointless because to him it wasn’t. 

Inching closer to Sunghoon the more you saw him to the point that he began picking you up and dropping you off at the university every time you had class even when he didn’t.

And if you ever needed to go somewhere, all you needed was to mention it to him and he’ll bring you there no questions asked.

He was also now never empty handed when he knew he would be seeing you, especially when you were seeing each other practically everyday. He’d have gifts ready to be left in the passenger seat you always found yourself sitting in or in hand waiting to be directly handed to you.

Sunghoon is stubborn yet he is more confusing than ever. You wondered how he suddenly appeared in your life out of nowhere, seeming to have a greater goal in mind that went beyond just simple tutoring and far beyond a regular friendship.

He would always move you to the inside of the sidewalk to let him walk on the outside. Making his own way that he deemed the only efficient way to garner your attention was by poking your cheek whenever you weren’t giving enough attention to him. 

And what confused you the most was when he picked up a fallen eyelash off your cheek giving a soft smile looking at you and for a split second you caught his eyes shifting to your lips before blowing the eyelash away in hopes of making his wish come true.

Sunghoon was confusing and slick that you never knew what his next move could be.

There was just so much of him to unravel that you needed time to dissect every inch of him to understand a little piece of him and without realizing it, you were becoming so accustomed to his presence in your life that you couldn’t remember what it was like without him in it. 

ᥫ᭡.

On a late afternoon you were sitting next to Sunghoon in his room zoning out as you waited for him to finish the assignment questions. It’s been over 5 hours you’ve been over trying to help him understand the material and you felt like your own head was going to fall off. 

Coming back to your senses when feeling a poke to your cheek, “What’s in that head of yours?” You blinked realizing how you were staring at him instead of the wall like you thought you were

Sunghoon, playing with the pen that poked your cheek, smirked smugly as he watched your faltering gaze quickly move from his, choosing to ignore his question as you now looked over the various photo frames on his desk.

There was a family picture, a beautiful one at that. You looked over and saw how Sunghoon resembled the woman in the picture greatly.

But when you caught the person on the opposite end of the Sunghoon who looked similar to him looking straight ahead both on each end of the man in the middle, not a single emotion on their face or in their eyes made a shiver run up your spine the more you looked at it. 

You tried to look away but you couldn’t. So to avoid any more awkwardness, you innocently were going to ask if that was his brother, whom you’ve never seen around, in the photo but he spoke before you could, “I have something for you”

Your eyes looked away from picture to Sunghoon seeing how he fully turned towards you opening a necklace case that you didn’t notice he pulled out, “I found this the other day” He softly said but it felt muffled in your ears

Your jaw dropped as your eyes trailed up from the case to Sunghoon’s worried expression that was replaced with a shy warm smile when you looked at him. 

It was the very necklace you mindlessly mentioned once during a late night call with him that you never managed to get after it was sold out right when you had just enough money to buy it.

And yet here it was being presented to you by none other than Sunghoon. 

“You didn’t”

It was common for him to get random gifts for you that surrounded what you liked even when you told him it wasn’t necessary but this gift… It was different, it laid heavy on your heart. 

Sunghoon carefully pulled out the dainty necklace, placing the open case onto his desk with the discarded assignment and unclasped it, getting up from his seat and walking behind you.

“But I did.” His voice low and stern making you weak in the knees that you were grateful for the chair you were sitting in for holding you up

You felt the cold metal against your skin as he placed it around you, your breathing silently shuddering seeing the reflection in the mirror at the corner of his room.

Sunghoon standing behind you, the necklace you’ve been wanting is finally around your neck.

You unconsciously touch your necklace, admiring its simplicity but now great value. 

Sunghoon leveled his head next to yours, his eyes looking directly at you through the mirror, “Pretty” He softly whispered, a faint smile ghosting his face 

Unable to remove your eyes from him in the mirror, you let yourself get captivated by the moment, the necklace, him. 

With small hesitance he pressed his lips against your head. There was a harsh thump against your chest. What is he doing?

But you recklessly turned without realizing how close the two of you would be. 

His nose bumped with yours as he continued looking at you. You couldn’t look away. You knew Sunghoon was attractive but seeing him upclose made you realize he always had been and forever will be. 

He looked deeply into your eyes, making you gulp harshly trying to rationalize your mind and body but you were betrayed by your heart and the desire you’ve been pushing away from wherever it came from and when it started even though you weren’t sure when that was. 

Slowly easing in closer he heard the light shake of your breath as your lips grazed before finally landing on each other.

The kiss started off with your lips solely on each other but he felt when you melted right into it, your mouth beginning to move wanting more and he held back a smile, this was exactly what he wanted. 

In your mushed mind you comprehended that you were far past the blurred line to the point of no recognition of what you thought was a friendship with Sunghoon as it now became more. 

Your hand balled into fist to stop the itch from entangling it in his hair but like he sensed it, he grabbed your hand prying it open with his fingers to place it at the back of his head as it grasped his hair igniting a soft groan from him. 

Rising from his leveled position he grabbed your chin tilting your head up in order to provide access to your neck where his hand gilded up and down as he continued to kiss you.

As your neck was craned up, too engrossed in his lips you didn’t notice him sitting back on the chair until you felt his hands travel from neck down to your waist as your fingers raked through his hair, loving how it slotted right through as you pulled him closer to you than he has ever been. 

Allowing you, Sunghoon let you contort his body in any way you want, as long as you kept your lips on his. 

The kiss became desperate as your teeth clashed together, the lack of air making you both lightheaded and the harsh tugs to his hair with his guidance making you sit on his lap. You slotted your legs on each side of his hips as you trapped his head in between your arms as he kissed all the oxygen out of you. 

“Let me take care of you” The foreign intimate words fell from his mouth landing right through your ears to your hazy mind and beating heart

When you pulled away from the kiss not sure if you heard him right you saw a desperate gleam in his eyes that sent you afloat straight into the gripping lustful cloud that’s been waiting to grasp you and hold you. 

Not saying anything, you allowed yourself to be pulled in by him like a magnetic pull as you landed your lips right onto his again. 

Sunghoon smiled pleased by the response even if there were no words spoken, your actions spoke louder than any words that could possibly be said. 

He wrapped a strong arm around you to flush your chest against his as his freehand inched higher until it reached your neck to softly grab it.

You squealed, feeling the tight squeeze on your neck providing him the access he needed for his tongue to slip past your mouth and into the territory he’s been waiting to explore.

His arm that held you went to play with the hem of your shirt before slipping under it, letting his hands roam free on your bare back.

The tighter tug on his hair and the feeling of goosebumps on your skin was his direct sign, his finger massaged at your neck, feeling the structure of it as he tugged on your bottom lip to slip his tongue back in. 

Push and pull feel on your neck made you arch your back feeling his other hand traveling higher up your back finding the clasps of your bra and playing the metal.

He pulled his lips away from your swollen ones making you pout that he pulled away. He looked at you with a small smile, finding you cute. 

So needy, he placed a long kiss to satisfy you just enough until he kissed in between your jaw and neck, having you throw your head back to provide him all the access in the world. How easily you did this was more than enough to show him how you must've been waiting for this.

He felt bad depriving you for long but it’s okay now. He’s here. 

When he easily found your sweet spot, gasps fell from your swollen lips. His fingers playing with the skin of your neck when his mouth sucked on some other part.

If it weren’t for him holding on to you, you would’ve crumbled right to his bedroom floor.

“Already weak” He mumbled as he sucked on your sweet spot wanting to emit the noises that were muffled before by his mouth 

Your mouth slacks as soft moans fall out, your body curving to his teasing touch, his lips trailing all over your neck from right to left to left to right, always stopping in the center to kiss all the way up to catch your lips for a moment before going back to your neck. 

The woozy feeling coursing through you had your hips rocking in his lap whenever he’d suck on your sweet spot harsher to hear you squeal. Getting lost in the sensation that was taking over your body, you were hot all around.

Your panties clung to your soaked entrance easily from the fast rocks of your hips, telling what you want or how your body interprets it, what you need.  

Sunghoon’s hands rested at your rocking hips guiding them faster, “Such a dirty slut, humping all over my lap” He chuckled but his words made the sensation in your stomach grow more

You landed your head in the crook of his neck as desperate whines spilled out of you. The clothed friction against your soaked self made you feel such a pleasure you’ve never felt before.

It jolted you to land on top of his hardened cock that was kept in the restraints of his pants, making him hold back a deep groan feeling you right on top of him.

“Please” You breathlessly pant hoping the single word plea was enough for him to understand what you mean 

But Sunghoon liked seeing this foreign side of you, seeing how desperate you are– willing to dismantle yourself just to get him, “Please what?” He halted your rocked making you whine pathetically 

“Anything… Just Pl-Please” You knew what he wanted from you, to beg for him but wanting to save the last bit of dignity you had you didn’t want to give in, you tried to grind your hips again but he only sent a slap on your ass making you yelp 

“I asked for clarification slut” He tsked loudly pushing you off his lap only to have you tightly wrap around his body to stop him, shaking your head but you needed clarification yourself 

Did you not want him to push you away or was it that your pride wouldn’t allow you to speak out on what you were begging for?

Feeling the shaking of your buried head in his neck, he scoffed a smirk before slipping his hand between your meshed bodies to wrap around your neck holding your jaw in the process to push you away to have you face him. 

Your eyes looked away from Sunghoon but with his hand tightening around your neck, it finally made your hesitant eyes meet him only to see how he was completely unphased as he stared right past your strong facade to see you. 

It felt like he was looking deep into your soul and reading every single thought that ever crossed your mind, seeing and judging the burning desire in you that needed to be free to soar, “Go on, tell me what you want?” He huskily chuckled

“Want me to teach you just what fast is? Mhm?” He raised a teasing eyebrow, his fingers playing at the sides of your neck seeing how your eyes flickered away from his

Content with your lack of response, it wasn’t nearly enough to make him satisfied. He selfishly wanted more. “Or are you looking to get fucked hard?”

He smirked when he heard you incoherently mumbling. He pulled your head next to his by your neck to have your mouth grazing the shell of his ear, “What did you say?” The dark rumble of his voice made your body weak

You tugged at the bottom of your lip having to decide to throw away your pride, to accept his terms and with a mumbled as loud as your voice would allow, “Please fuck me Sunghoon” 

His grin grew wider while his mind now filled with demand to give you everything that you could possibly ever want, needing to spoil you in the way you asked him for. 

“Good girl” He whispered letting go of your neck tapping the side of your hips, the echoing sounding throughout the room telling you to move your hips again

You started grinding again on his clothed cock as your hands landed on his shoulders, eyes shut tight shivering from the sensation of your clothed core rubbing to the dent in his pants while his hand slipped past your shirt to unclasped your bra. 

Sunghoon moved your bra away just enough to cup one of your breasts with his hand, his thumb creasing your hardened nipple before tugging on it making you jump.

Your grinds grew frantic chasing the familiar build up in your stomach, “Sunghoon- Sunghoon” You breathlessly chanted his name as he was all that you could think of

He liked hearing his name coming from you, he thinks he could listen to you forever when he was the one making you feel this way. Your hips stammered in their movements as you could feel the nearing of your climax. You couldn’t believe you were getting off on his lap this easily but your body reacted the way it wanted to him. 

Your fingers deep into his shoulder blades as he altered between your breasts roughly pinching them to then soothe the burning sensation while his other hand laid on the base of your ass, helping your weakening ruts on his crotch to help reach your high.

Whenever you dared to stop even just for a moment, he’d smack your ass harshly making you whine loudly, pushing your tired body to continue further if you wanted to come. 

“Keep going. Come in your pants for me” He teased and the soak of your panties beginning to seep through to your pants made your cheeks burn from embarrassment but it felt too good to care about it

The movements of your hips only grew faster chasing the feeling until you were overwhelmed by it, your loud moan and his low groan mixed together as you came in your pants making you cringe at your pure desperate action. 

Sunghoon fondled with the material of your pants moving your hips again having you shudder on his lap, shaking your head unable to handle the overstimulation and he had to stop himself from laughing. You were so cute like this. 

He stopped the grinding movements and placed a kiss on the side of your head as he hiked your shirt higher and higher, tapping at your skin to put your arms up to let him remove your shirt and bra in a single motion, throwing them somewhere in his room to be forgotten. 

Yet, he didn’t think this through. This was the very first time he’s ever seeing you like this, so compromising, so needy, so perfect just for him.

Your pretty face flushed, the perk of your nipples rose up and down following your pants and how the necklace he bought you rested against your collarbone glimmering in the dim lighting, he slipped just for a second.

Noticing his eyes never moving from your exposed body, your cheeks burned more as you covered yourself with your arms which he quickly stopped before you could completely do so, “Don’t cover yourself…” He couldn't bear not being able to look at you

He looked up to see your eyes looking at him, a slight frown on your face, “You’re beautiful” His words melted the frown off your face making it flip.

Your lips tugged upwards allowing your arms to be pulled away as he leaned in to peck a soft kiss at your jaw before lowering to your breast. He followed the curve of your chest, he wanted to memorize every crevice, curve, dip, you had. 

His hands roamed freely on your body soothing your goosebump filled skin while your hands traced over his shirt before threading lower until you were between the hem of it and the waist of his pants. 

He softly grunted, nodding his head noticing your silent asking and without wasting time, you moved yourself away from his crotch. Unbuttoning his pants, you tugged at his belt loop and brought his pants along with his boxer in a teasing manner until it was just enough for his aching cock to spring out and hit his stomach. 

His angry tip leaked with precum with faint twitching every few seconds showing its desperate need made your body burn.

You may have underestimated him big time. He was big, really fucking big. 

You tried to hide your wavering eyes and harsh gulp as you stared at him before grabbing him at the base, softly dragging your hand up and down in a pace that didn’t meet his standard in the slightest but he was too occupied with how your hand felt wrapped around him, it was just perfect.

Sunghoon threw his head back when your thumb grazed his slit, smearing his precum all over his tip as your thumb was coated with it without a care in the world.

His chest rose and fell with each heavy pant. Your hands were pure magic. You were wonderful. His mind is filled with your hand, the strokes you were giving him, your soft hums, just you. 

You smiled seeing how the roles were easily reversed and you had him falling apart for you.

Moving your hand in the slow jerking motion made Sunghoon grow frustrated, he grabbed your wrist to move your hand faster on his cock, “Taking so long” He spat, “Never jerked someone off before?” His eyes screwing shut when you picked up in pace sending immense pleasure throughout his body 

The more he twitched in your hand the more you knew he was growing closer to his climax, you pushed away his holding hand on your wrist, continuing the same pace he was guiding you in.

His now free hand lazily rested on your hip playing with the fabric of your pants and you knew what it meant. 

This time you were the one smirking from the scene before you. Through half lidded eyes he saw your egotistical smile, the outline of your body illuminated by the lamp on his desk making it feel like you were sent to him. 

Even when he was the one searching for you, you were the one who found him ready to save him. 

His attempts to unbutton your pants wanting nothing more but to absolutely devour you whole were futile as you pumped him with a faster pace.

His hands shook unable to get a proper opening to get your pants off, “F-fuck” He groaned when you squeezed his cock every few times then teasing his tip with achingly soft pinches, hiding your smile

You stared at your working hand, admiring how he looked in your hold before trailing up to look at his half lidded ones trying to look at you barely being able to hold them open from the pleasure.

Without any warning, you felt the spurts coming out of his tip landing all over your hand and some even landing on your bare stomach.

Sunghoon shuddered, his cock twitching at your continuous pumps even through his orgasm on his still hard on, “Sh-Shit, you milking me or wha-What?” He grunted, his body beginning to shake from the stimulation 

You were making him fall apart for you just by your hands and he hasn’t had someone make him like this before, ever.

When you finally stopped, pulling away from his mess covered cock from your cum covered hand, you brought your hand to lick it clean.

You gruntled tasting the salt bitter taste of his release but it still managed to satisfy your taste buds. He heard you. The opening of your mouth and when he focused just enough he heard the stride of your tongue gliding.

Fuck you were licking your hand clean and he was missing the entire thing because he couldn’t open his damn eyes.

He gulped trying to catch his breath trying to recollect his puddle of a mind. There was never a time he orgasmed by hands alone.

So when it came to you ripping one out of him just like that, he was shocked, confused with his own body and possibly his own mind. 

“Sunghoon?” Hearing your voice soft and careful erupted something in him and his twitching cock

Without opening his eyes, he memorized your body on his lap far enough to successfully unbutton your pants without a single peek with the intention to rip them off of your body. 

You lifted yourself off his lap just enough as he finally opened his eyes to look at you with hungry eyes making your insides twist and turn into a bundle of knots.

Helping his hastiness, dragging down your pants along with your soaked panties until they somehow were able to drop to your ankle before kicking them off to the floor. 

Sunghoon pulled your body back down, the feel of your bare soaking pussy landing right on top of his cock made him groan and you whine.

He muffled the noises by crashing his lips onto yours, holding the back of your head to hold you close to him. There was a thump against his chest from the building excitement. 

Rocking your hips, feeling his cock slip in between your wet folds made you cry in the kiss from the delicious feel, “Can’t fucking wait, can you?” He bit your lip making you squeal but you didn’t stop kissing him

You hungrily continued, shaking your head innocently as you rocked your soaking core against his hard self. 

“Hoonie” You breathlessly spoke 

He hated being called nicknames, he despised every single one he was ever given but surprisingly not yours. Instead the singular nickname melted right through the cold facade he kept up for his entire life and burned him whole in a matter of seconds.

Normally he held himself highly in maintaining his rationality but now it lay long forgotten about in an empty abyss.

Stilling your pitiful grind, he grabbed his cock from the confinement of your folds to tap it against your bare stomach, insinuating you to lift your lower body for him. 

Without a second thought, you raised yourself watching how he aligned his leaking tip to your welcoming entrance.

The tingling feeling in your stomach of your nerves going haywire was replaced by the stretch of Sunghoon’s tip protruding slipping past your pussy walls inside of you. 

You hissed loudly as he started sinking you down, “W-Wait” You whimpered feeling the new stretch but he didn’t stop, resuming coating his shaft with your enticing walls

“Take it slut- Couldn’t wait a few seconds ago- Shit” His harsh words only fueled your arousal making it easier in between the crevices that were soon covered and filled by his cock being sucked in by you 

Clenching around him, he weakly slapped on the side of your ass followed by a harsher one after not being pleased with how quiet the first one was. 

His slaps made you jolt on his cock making you moan from the waves of pleasure that shot straight to your stretched out core. Gripping your neck, he brought himself to the shell of your ear, “Bet you’ve been waiting to be split open on my cock” He whispered, “Admit it slut” 

You couldn’t respond, only able to let out loud gasps as his long cock slipped deeper into you, filling you up in ways you never felt before, “Mhmm” You delirious rumbled making him frown, displeased with the minimum response 

“Hoonie- Want your cock…Please”

He froze. His hand on your neck loosened for a moment as all he could focus on was your soft pleas and whines. His mind clouded just for a moment before shaking it away.

You expected him to do all the work and that made him laugh, he let go of your neck to stroke the side of your face tooting his lips, “You wanted my cock, now work to please yourself” He tried to ignore just how perfectly you were engulfing him as he lazily lied back in the chair but each squeeze you gave around him made him feel good, so good. “Start working” 

Having to see the smug tug of his lip made you frown but too overcome with need to put up any type of fight, you slowly raised your lower body up his length before sliding back down making him let out a loud sigh of pleasure while turning his head to side as he watched where he disappeared inside of you only to reappear to just disappear again. 

Trying to get used to the stretch and fullness you felt, you let out pathetic wails as you bounced on him, swaying your hips around feeling how he moved inside of you and soon the pain was replaced by a pleasurable sensation. 

Your slow pace turned into a faster one. The sound of his low grunts and your louder moans, the meet of his crotch against your skin as you rode him filled the room. 

His hands dug into the flesh of your hips giving guidance to your bouncing self on him, watching how your breast moved with each of your hops, “Hoonie” You mewled 

You’re going to call him that every single time, he was going to make sure of it.

“The only one that could ever make you feel this way” Sunghoon wanted to plant that thought deep into your mind to make sure you never forget, only he could ever make you feel like this.

The feel of his tip kissing your cervix as he slipped in and out of you made you fall apart all over him, throwing your head back from the pleasure, your hands holding onto his shoulder for support, bouncing up and down at an arrhythmic pace just to keep some type of sense of having him deeply buried in you engraved in each crack of your brain. 

Sunghoon’s fingers grabbed your necklace forcing your thrown back head up to lift to see him through your heavy eyelids.

You mewled loudly as you felt his sudden fast thrust meeting your weaker ones, “Open your eyes… Look at me” He sent a spank to your ass making you yelp in the mix of your moans and mewls

“This is what you wanted, right slut? To get fucked hard by me?” Through your heavy lidded eyes, you saw his crazed filled ones watching your gaped mouth as endless noises fell out because of him. 

You furiously nodded. Through the perception you had for yourself and others to see and believe, deep down this was all you ever wanted. And Sunghoon saw all of it. 

He held your limp neck by your necklace, his thrusts reaching to where it could, sending you to height. Your lower body contorted, grinding up and down in an attempt to feel more of him in you, which you didn’t even think was possible, “Sunghoon- Please!” 

The loud smack of your ass made you cry as you could feel the burning sensation, “Not my fucking name” Sunghoon grunted

“Hoonie! Hoonie” You expressed the nickname you made for him, “Please Hoonie” You pleaded not sure what you were asking for but somehow Sunghoon knew 

He brought your body to press against him as he snapped his hips harder making you wrap your arms around his shoulders to leverage off of him.

The obscene noise of your leaking entrance meeting all the way to the base of his cock made your stomach flutter and your mind short circuit as you could only focus on the knot forming in your stomach.

You scratched at Sunghoon clothed back, your moans falling directly in his ears as you clenched harder around him as he easily glided in and out of your welcoming hole.

Chanting his name like a prayer as he was the only thing that you could ever know. His mind was being overtaken by you. 

“Taking me so well. Fuck princess” The new more endearing nickname made you flutter all around him, enjoying it more than you should’ve 

He let go of your necklace wrapping his arm over your back to hold your crumbling body sending another harsh slap sent to your ass making you whine as he rubbed his hand over it to soothe the reddening area, “Gonna fucking ruin you” 

Now that didn’t sound too bad.

With your foggy mind, you couldn't register the sentence that followed after, “Never letting you go”. You were too focused on the build up of pleasure in your stomach daring to snap at any moment that you only moaned louder at the words. 

His tip hitting the same spot in repetition without stopping for a second made all thoughts in your head useless unless it was about him, “Hoonie!” You repeated after yourself like a broken record and he could tell the way you tried to meet his thrust in attempts to savor the feeling

Noticing how your thrust became sloppier, the seeping arousal leaking everywhere below you and onto him, he grinned placing his hand at the back of your head, whispering loud enough for you to hear, “Make a mess on me you slut” 

Fuck, you felt good, Sunghoon made you feel so good. Through his relentless thrust, you clenched tightly around him feeling the wave of pleasure wash over you like a tidal wave unlike ever before. You took care of yourself every now and then but never once did it ever dismantle you like this.

Burying deep inside of you to help ride out your high and you came all over him more, the mix of your wetness and cum lathered around.

Watching your agape mouth and your tight shut eyes, Sunghoon admired your thrown back head as the relief your body felt washed over reaching the heights you’ve never felt before. 

This must be the universe's way of repaying him for everything he’s suffered through. Allowing him to have you and see you like this, so beautifully for him.

You soaked his cock in your cum, you were heavily breathing however the air got sucked back in as a loud wail erupted from your throat as you felt Sunghoon begin slipping in and out of you again.

Running a hand up and down your back to soothe your sensitive body, he whispered. “You can handle it right?” You were originally going to shake your head, the soreness of your stretched out walls was too much but the pleasurable feel was far greater than anything

You gave a weak nod unable to say a response, your mind gone in the cloud. Sunghoon felt beyond proud of you, he planted a kiss on your head before delivering a harsh snap reaching deeper into your walls that were molding to him.

With his arm holding around you, his shirt crumbled under your fingers as you held on tightly, supporting your stimulated body on his lap as he took over, allowing your body to lay on him as he did all the work now.

Something embroidered itself into his mind at that moment. His hand fondling with your ass, gripping onto it tightly before releasing it only to crease it sending a harsh slap making you yelp as his thrust met with your very faint ones, “Such a good fucking slut” He groaned as the mixed of your arousal and cum made it easier for his cock to ease out of you 

You whimpered feeling sudden emptiness but let out a loud gasp, your body moving forward pressing further against his when he reenterned you making you feel the fullness of his cock deep in you.

Your attempts to say anything to make him know how good he was making you feel were in vain as all that came out were strained moans, your voice becoming scratchy by how much you’ve been letting out. 

Through the muffle of your ears the lewd noises from your soaked self meeting with the base of his cock had you all over the edge again, the build up in your stomach forming. 

Sunghoon’s thrust became sloppy and irregular, the grip on your ass becoming harder that you could feel his fingers digging deep into the flesh of it, the connection between the two of you disappearing before reconnecting quickly, the build up daring to snap, “Sh-shit, almost there. Gonna be a good girl and take everything I give you” 

You gave rapid nods, your scratchy voice filling his ears, the tight clench around his aching cock. You’ll take everything. You’ll make him proud. 

“The most perfect pussy- Fuck!” Sunghoon’s mind too far gone to realize what he was saying, “Make you- Going to make you mine… Just for me” 

It didn’t soak into either of your minds to fully register, but there was a silent agreement of some sort. 

His sloppy thrust came to a stop as you felt the warm spurts inside of you painting your velvet walls pearly white of his cum.

Sunghoon screwed his eyes, the loudest groan rumbling out of him as your embrace around him grew tighter as his own climax prompted your third one.

Never before have you released not just once or twice but three damn times. 

As you and Sunghoon held onto each other feeling the sticky thin layer of sweat covering both of you but neither cared about it especially not when Sunghoon shallowly thrusted up to push his cum further inside of you.

His hand that tightly held your bottom now let go of the flesh, soothing the burning area by slowly rubbing in a more gentle manner. 

Your aching neck landed onto his shoulder, heaving trying to forbid yourself from crashing due to exhaustion. But oh was it really hard. Your body was more than willing to surrender as a warm feeling filled your insides. 

With his softened cock buried deep inside of you, he managed to let out a few praises, “You did so good, ‘m so proud of you” 

“Let me take care of you now” 

Somehow Sunghoon managed to read you like an open book that he didn’t even have to pry open. All he needed to do was crease the spine and you opened right up, welcoming him into your world. 

Your tensed body now softened in his arms, your heavy eyelids finally closing and your pants grew softer into slow deep breaths. He placed a sweet kiss on your temple allowing you to fully let go for him to take care of you.

“Rest princess”

You weren’t Park Sunghoon’s girlfriend and he wasn’t your boyfriend, you’re friends who happen to know what the other tastes like now.

ᥫ᭡.

In the passenger side of Sunghoon’s car he held up his phone to show the yet again 100 percent on his exam that you helped him study for.

His chest filled with pride as you showered him in praises. He worked hard for this so to be recognized by it, it made him feel good. 

You suddenly stopped your praises when you felt Sunghoon’s threading fingers fall from the side of your face down to your jaw to your neck where he began playing with your necklace. 

Admiring your necklace, he softly smiled to himself making you roll your eyes knowing he was filled to the brim with confidence, “Whoever got you that necklace did a wonderful job” He complimented

“Should thank my sugar daddy, he wastes all his money on me like it’s nothing and bought it for me” You shrugged your shoulders like it was nothing earning a laugh from him 

Looping your necklace with his fingers he raised his eyebrows amused by your choice of words, “Daddy?” 

From the entire sentence you said that was the only thing he picked up on. You looked at his crazed filled eyes and you held back a smile.

There was a prickling feeling in your heart seeing his expression, there was more than meets the eye and you wanted to delve straight into it.

You shoved Sunghoon back to the driver seat sneering at his response, “Nasty” 

He laughed heartily landing back in his seat, “You’re the one that said it” Raising his hands up in innocences but he was far from it well in bed at least

“I said other things too-” You were interrupted by him grabbing the back of your head to kiss you. Your eyelids felt heavy as you entered cloud 9, melting into the kiss. Your eyes closed as you were insatiably dragged into Sunghoon

He smirked, feeling how you easily gave up any control and handed it to him.

He adored you, he really did. Everything that he could ever wish for and it was you, “I really have to go” He murmured, he had to be at the airport in less than 5 minutes to go pick up his father and it was at least a 30 minutes drive, 40 minutes now because of rush hour 

He needed to leave now but he couldn’t seem to let go of you just yet, his lips messily clashed with yours. His hands falling to your cheek to cup it to deepen the kiss. Your heart filled with glee and warmth as his mouth perfectly moved with yours.

“Then pull away Hoonie” 

The damn nickname that made him surrender to you. He wasn’t going to pull away. His father can wait until he arrives.

Sunghoon shifted his body to face you as he ate away at your lips, he sucked at your bottom lip which easily gave him access to slip right on through.

Mind filled with haze and craze for you, he could do this forever. But you pulled away before he could fall too deep. 

He chased after your lips making you giggle and hearing you, he opened his eyes letting out his own disappointed sigh, “Make sure to drive safely” You soothed out his disheveled hair back to its somewhat regular state

Even though he was disappointed the kiss lasted so short, he was grateful for it, for you.

He smiled dumbly, nodding his head at every word you said even when it went in through one ear only to come out the other. 

You chuckled warmly seeing his dazed expression as you retracted your hand away from his regular styled hair, “Let me walk you to the door at least” 

But the moment he helped you out of the car, you were pressed up against his car as he hurriedly slotted his lips onto yours before you could say anything. Not even 5 minutes ago he told you he needed to leave but your mind slipped only focusing on him now.

Your hands found their way to the nape of his neck as his hands rested on your waist, rubbing his thumb on your side, “Thought you needed to go” You giggled as his mouth trailed to the marks on your neck left by him

You let out a satisfied moan as he sucked on the sensitive marks, “I really do need to go” He mumbled but not once did he show intentions of stopping

“You should really stop then” Sunghoon laughed, him stopping? What a joke. 

You’re like an addictive feeling that he will cling onto forever, he’ll never allow anything or anyone to come in between and take you away from him. 

“I don’t think I ever could.” 

ᥫ᭡.

Sunghoon arrived an hour late to the airport.

He was going to receive an earful from his father for being late but it was worth the hassle of being later when he was able to spend some extra minutes with you.

From the moment he shifted the gear to park, he texted you and patiently waited until you responded back before even thinking about texting his father where he was in the parking lot. 

Others would see this as unfair but Sunghoon had his priorities. He got out of the car and leaned up against it to be able to greet his father first thing when seeing him after being away, but his mind went to how not even an hour ago he had pressed you up against it, kissing you silly until you forcefully had to shove him back in his car and send him on his way. 

He felt the buzz of his phone and he looked to see you texted him to let you know when he made it back home even if you were taking a nap which he knew was going to be highly likely.

His lips tugged upwards, chuckling out a smile of pure happiness as he texted back a response to not miss him too much and that he’ll visit you in your dream which he knew you scoffed at but secretly enjoyed.

“Hoon” 

The call of that damn nickname made his throat and mouth dry up like a desert.

His smile dropped immediately, pocketing his phone and straightening out his posture because instead of seeing his father who he came all this way to pick up in the first place, he saw his brother with luggages in hand. 

Seeing his twin brother in the flesh again made his heart drop to the pit of his stomach because staring right at him was his worst nightmare. 

“Jay?” 

・・・・・

Outside on the balcony, Sunghoon tightly held his phone over the rails, his head low and eyes shut trying to ignore the painful pressure against it.

His father’s single text flashed in his head on repeat. Not only would he have to bear unknown months again which he never minded, always enjoying being by himself with the exception of you staying over, keeping him company.

He had to deal with someone else now.

Groaning as he kept his eyes closed feeling like at any moment he was going to disintegrate into pure matter and then to nothing. 

Thinking the fresh air would help get rid of sticky tar slowly slowly surrounding him but it quickly engulfed him whole when he heard the aggravating voice of his brother, “Hoon?” Jay softly knocked on the balcony door frame and Sunghoon stopped everything in his will to not launch himself at Jay 

The headache growing and the clawing of his stomach eating him right up each second Jay is in his presence.

He continued to have his back facing Jay who knew he had every right to be furious at him yet hoped the time apart from each other would ease the unresolved tension between them just a little bit. 

“Dad told me you have a tutor” Jay hoped to lighten the already dark mood from the moment he stepped foot onto the balcony, “I was shocked that you, the ace student, needed a tutor but he said your tutor is able to put an equal if not greater of a fight than you” 

“I’m glad you have someone pushing your limits, exceeding your already high expectations”

Sunghoon scoffed in his head. His already high expectations? Jay will never come close to understanding the struggle of expectation from anyone let alone from their father.

For as long as he could remember, he’s been living in Jay’s shadow, never able to escape it until Jay left for university. That was the only time Sunghoon understood what true peace was.  

While Jay expected some type of retaliation, he received nothing, only noticing how the spinning of Sunghoon’s phone came to a sudden halt hearing the mention of you, his oh so wonderful tutor. 

From Sunghoon’s hanging phone held by his fingers Jay saw his lock screen, though unable to see it properly, he was able to make out Sunghoon’s arm that had the Tiffany and co. bracelet their late mother gifted him that he finally grew into after all these years draped over someone whose face he couldn’t see but could notice the very dainty necklace. 

Sunghoon despised taking pictures whenever they were forced to for family pictures or solo portraits.

So seeing him display a picture taken by a digital camera boldly—so proudly. He wondered what was the depth behind it.

But even past his curiosity, he felt a sickening gnaw at his stomach the more he looked at the lock screen but he didn’t know why.

It wasn’t until Sunghoon caught Jay’s attention on his phone screen that he quickly flipped his phone over before putting it into his pocket, clenching his jaw.

Jay hasn’t been back for an entire day but was already slipping too deep back into his life for his liking.

Jay watched the sudden shift of mood from Sunghoon, noticing how he became more defensive, placing the already high walls higher than ever before.

One of the main reasons why Jay even took up his father’s offer to finish his studies back home in the first place was because of this.

Longing to be back in his brother’s life again, just like how he used to be. He hated how things fell apart between Sunghoon and him and he needed to make things right, for that to happen the first thing he needed to do was address everything from the start. Just not the very beginning yet.

Too caught up in his own head Jay didn’t realized nor expected Sunghoon to be the one breaking the suffocating silence, “Thought you were supposed to finish your studies abroad” 

His eyes flickered a hint of surprise in them but he quickly pushed that away, “Dad came to visit, mentioned how it was pointless for me to be studying abroad while you stayed behind,” Jay sighed, placing his back against the rail feeling the cold steel seeping through his shirt to his skin

“He was right… We were supposed to go abroad together” He looked over to Sunghoon who only looked ahead of him an unreadable expression on his face

“You know I always wondered how many strings he had to pull just to secure a spot for you” Sunghoon sneered, “I mean you purposefully flunked your way out of the academy to live your fantasy normal life and somehow still managed to get accepted” Sunghoon shook his head letting out a mocking laugh after the harsh spat of words

Of course their father would do everything in his power to make sure his twin sons received the highest achievements and education, especially if it was Jay on the line. 

Ever since they were young, their father realized Jay’s natural leadership, his way of obtaining and retaining knowledge and being unafraid of learning from others or speaking out about his opinion.

It was determined from the very start that Jay would be the righteous heir to their father’s company and brushed it off to be because Jay was the eldest out of the two by 3 minutes which Sunghoon knew was a lie and it infuriated him. 

Why wasn’t he allowed to prove himself? He was more than capable of doing what Jay can do and could do it even better than him.

Sunghoon worked day and night after declaring he would attend a university abroad instead of staying. All just to prove himself to everyone, especially to his perfect twin brother Jay that he was capable of doing great things just like him.

Whatever Sunghoon wanted, Jay would unintentionally snatch right from under his nose in the blink of an eye. Their father's attention, the ease of academic intelligence, the endless showers of praises and love and sweeping the one he liked off her feet without even realizing it.  

“Hoon” Jay softly called out and Sunghoon hated that he still used the nickname

Hearing the nickname from his brother’s mouth, it didn’t ease his heart or comfort him, it only aggravated him more. 

“It doesn’t matter either way, I didn’t feel like going abroad” Jay let out a loud scoff

If there was one thing Jay knew for certain about his brother that would never change is that Sunghoon was determined to go abroad for university. It was all he ever worked towards during their school years, having sleepless nights, setting high expectations just to ensure he was the top student each school year and not only did he achieve it but he set the curve.

Jay knew Sunghoon. 

“You went on that plane with intentions to go” 

Sunghoon shook his head, the sickening smirk still on his face, “No, I went on that plane with the intention to leave you before we took off”

“I knew you wouldn’t leave if I said I was staying behind from the start so I went along with it until the time came. I just wanted to make you believed we were actually go to university together” 

There was a strong ringing in Jay’s ear. All this time Jay believed, trusted, Sunghoon boarded the plane with the intention to leave, for them to attend the same university together but just couldn’t overlook what happened only to find out now that he was never going to leave in the first place. 

This was when Jay realized he did not know Sunghoon. 

Jay wasn’t as prideful as Sunghoon at least not anymore, he is now willing to admit when he is wrong, when he’s made a mistake. It took him a while to reach this point but he was finally there, he just hopes he isn’t too late. 

“I’m sorry” 

A sudden apology. The apology Sunghoon waited so long to hear. But it only caused the said male to look over to his brother with narrow eyes, deeply frowning, bringing his hands to grip the balcony rails tightly. “What are you apologizing for?”

“For everything” Jay sighed pitifully feeling the glare Sunghoon was sending him, “I’m sorry” 

The apology did more harm than good in Sunghoon’s eyes, his grips around the rail burned more feeling the indents forming on his palm from it, “I don’t need your pity apology” He spat feeling the anger that was stowed away rising after the years

“It’s not a pity apology when it’s coming from my heart-”

“Shut up Jay” Sunghoon cut in not wanting to hear his brother’s words anymore, unable to forgive or forget and sweep everything under the rug just because Jay finally decided to apologize

“You still think you can have everything you want without having to break a sweat” Jay flinched from the roughness of Sunghoon’s voice booming to the quiet outside world into his ears “You think a lousy sorry is just going to fix everything?”

The raging build up that has been bubbling in him for all these years that all he needed was Jay’s attempt to apologize for his emotions to burst.

“Keep your apologizes, I don’t need them”

All these years of trying to outshine Jay’s shadow to just be seen by others only left Sunghoon tainted with heartbreak and he’s tired of all of it.

“Hoon-” Jay attempted to meddle in Sunghoon’s growing frantic state wanting to ease his younger brother but was cut off again before he could do so

“Do you still talk to her?” There was a defining moment of silence at the sudden mention of Sorin, the girl that cornered Jay and Sunghoon of no escape to the inevitable fall out between them

The reminder of Sorin’s existence left a bitter taste in both of their mouths. Sunghoon found it hilarious remembering how the only reason she tried so hard to get close to him in the first place was because she had ulterior motives for Jay, not for him. 

Sunghoon who liked her so much was left in the dust after having Jay chosen over him even when his brother was off living in his fantasy life at another school and didn’t even know about her until Sunghoon idiotically introduced them because no matter how hard Sunghoon tried to escape Jay, he would always linger in the dark corner of his life haunting him. 

Jay’s mouth opened and closed eager to deny the obvious truth but his silence spoke louder than anything that could’ve been said. 

Sunghoon lowly chuckle from amusement, there was a twinge of disappointment underneath everything but it diminished because what did he expected from Jay, “That’s all I need to know” 

There was a punch straight to Jay’s gut that was filled with disappointment in himself more than anything else. He knows he can’t go back in time to stop himself from kissing Sorin that night when he was well aware of Sunghoon’s feelings for her.

He knows he’ll never be able to get rid of the regret that’ll live with him forever and he’s okay with that, he’ll let himself live in regret for the rest of his life if it meant a possibility of reconciling with Sunghoon. 

Sunghoon’s hands suddenly loosened around the rail, something immediately taking over his body when he felt the vibration of his phone in his pocket knowing deep down it was you.

There was one thing Jay could never get, to have what Sunghoon has with you and he’ll make sure Jay could only ever dream of it. 

Sunghoon gave a tight lip smile, “Don’t stress over it. There’ll never be a single grudge towards you” He bumped shoulders with Jay before disappearing back into their house dropping his smile just as quickly as he gave it

Digging his hand into his pocket, taking out his phone to see the message left by you. 

You: Have a goodnight

His stoic expression was replaced with a fond smile that only you could ignite from him. He took a moment to admire his lockscreen, you panning his digital camera towards the mirror, his arms gracefully draped over you and the obvious necklace he had gotten you on perfect display.

Without hesitation he grabbed his keys before rushing down the stairs and walking out the front door not forgetting to slam it shut.

Sunghoon: I’m coming over 

Sunghoon: Missed you way too much princess

Jay, who was left on the balcony, heard the echo of the door slamming shut. There was pure silence in the house with the occasional gust of wind swaying by, he looked where Sunghoon once stood. 

He leaned himself against the rails again, running a hand down his face letting out a loud groan, repeating Sunghoon’s words in his head, there'll never be a single grudge towards you. Of course there was a grudge towards him and he couldn’t do anything about it. 

Jay tried to look on the bright side, he should be grateful Sunghoon listened to him for longer than 5 minutes but now all alone with his own heartache, he hoped that if he covered his face long enough it would be enough for him to be forgotten. 

But when he heard his phone ping from a notification it ended his moment of self wallow to bring him back to reality. He pulled out his phone from his back pocket and in growth was the faintest smile. 

He tapped on the notification to be redirected to your new post. 

Skimming through the two scenery pictures, he got to the last picture that looked like it was taken by a digital camera. Only then did he finally see your sweet smile as you looked directly at the camera. 

Whoever took the picture of you knew just the right angles to capture the essence of you. Oh to be able to know you like that. 

Jay felt the harsh tug of his heart as he stared at your picture. You were still as beautiful as he remembered.

He wouldn’t voice this out, how could he, so it laid deep in his heart. When taking his father’s offer to come back home, you lingered in the back of his mind. Did you stay right where he left you? Did you ever find him?  He knew it was reckless and irrational for him to think this. 

But something in him will always crawl back to you.

・・・・・

Sunghoon walked through your unlocked door for him and entered your place. The immediate sense of home washing over him as he slipped off his shoes and placed them next to your neatly placed ones.

Making sure he locked the door behind him, he dragged his body all the way to the cracked open bedroom door and peeked his head inside to see you laying on your bed, scrolling through your phone waiting for him.

From the creaking of your door, you knew it was Sunghoon. You smiled softly before placing your phone on your nightstand to see your bedroom door fully opening and there stood Sunghoon looking at you, a slight pull of his lips towards his cheeks making you find him cute, “You look exhausted” You opted to say instead of what you really thought

Choosing not to respond, he stepped into your room crawling into the familiarity of your bed that he had the luxury of knowing inside and out especially since he was the one that put it together. You welcomed him with open arms as he slotted himself perfectly in between them, his head resting against your chest as he let out a relieved sigh.

The tension in his shoulders dropped as he found his haven in you. 

“Staying over tonight?” You softly asked and with the tickled of his hair on your neck as he nodded you giggled

Your thumb softly creased his head against your chest, “Rest Hoonie” You told just like how he always tells you

However, he had other plans in mind. Sunghoon tilted his head just enough to have his lips graze over your neck before planting feather-like kisses on it. Your hand began holding onto his hair as he slowly sucked on your skin, contrasting his usually hard demeanor. 

His hands ran up your side, slotting them under your back to hold you fully in his arms. Through instinct your body melted, eyes fluttered shut, “Thought you were exhausted” You breathless let out feeling his teeth pulling at your skin making you squeal

“Have a better way to get rid of it”

His mouth trailed all over your neck wanting to mark the unblemished skin he left behind. He wanted to add more to show physical warning for any that dared to get close to you. To keep them far away from you. To make everyone know that you were claimed, that you belonged to him.

You were Sunghoon’s. 

The burning sensation soothed by his tongue gliding over it makes you melt deeper into his touch. Your body surrendering itself to the only person that it can ever fit deep in your heart.

The kisses moved from your neck up to your jaw before finally crashing onto your begging lips. You hummed happily to finally be able to kiss Sunghoon.

You wrapped your arms around his neck as he adjusted himself to mold his body into your laying one, melting your bodies together.

His cold hands roamed under your shirt feeling your hot bare skin making you shiver from the temperature difference but his hands never stopped until they reached your breasts.

He smirked realizing you weren’t wearing anything underneath your shirt. “Seems like you were expecting this” He chuckled, your mouth continuing to move together in sync already knowing how the utilize your lips for the other after many times of being in this very position

His finger teased closer to your hardened nipple before pinching it making you squeal allowing enough room for his tongue to slip in to explore your mouth.

You couldn’t think of anything, not sure if it was from the lack of oxygen or if it was because of him but you didn’t want any of it to stop.

There wasn’t much effort Sunghoon needed to do to have you become a needy mess for him. All he needed to do was give you attention and everything you want and the rest will fall into place.

Your noises were muffled by his mouth as his hands knew exactly when to pull and twist your nipple to send shards of pleasure to surround you whole.

He tried to pull away from the kiss, but you were quick to grab him by the neck chasing after his lips. Loving every moment of you simply falling apart for him, he could live like this forever.

“Needy princess” He whispered into your ear after managing to escape your mouth making you to whine that he stopped kissing you

“Stop teasing- Finish what you started Hoonie” You blabbed through your swollen lips, “Unless you want me to find someone else to satisfy me-”

Sunghoon didn’t allow you to finish your sentence, grabbing your face to make you look at him as he hovered over your body, “Don’t test me” His voice dropped from the teasing tone into something darker, “You know, no one else can ever satisfy you. At least not as good as me”

His hands tightening, squishing your cheeks as he looked dead into your eyes with a smug smile. You looked up at him like he was the only person that existed in your life, the one that cared for you in ways no one else would and his heart swelled.

“You’re mine” 

Underneath the fragile facade lay something greater, something warm and sweet. 

“Say it princess. Who do you belong to?”

Your body became weak, your quick attitude dissolving. He moved your head side to side ushering you to say the possessive words. You weren’t Sunghoon’s but if someone were to ask you on a deeper level you would tell them without hesitation, of course you were his. 

“Yo-you Hoonie… I‘m yours” You murmured through your squished lips and he let go of your face with a pleased gleam

You let out the breath you were holding but it was sucked back in when you felt his hands slip into your pants past your panties and rubbed the pad of this thumb against your throbbing clit.

Immediately looking at him like an animal caught in headlights, you saw his smirk that infuriated you to the point that you always looked forward to it.

Throwing your head back, your mouth fell slack as his fingers grazed your wet entrance in a teasing manner. Your impatient whines grew louder, you needed him to do something, anything to satisfy you.

“Such a good girl” Slipping two fingers past your folds, you loudly gasped at the intrusion 

His pace started out slow even through his hazy mind of just wanting to feel you wrapped around him, he wasn’t a monster. He will always take care of you the way you are meant to be taken care of because if not him, who will?

Feeling the pump of his fingers in and out of you, curling every now and then sends your body to jump, your sheets crumbling under your hands and thrashing body as you let out heavy pants.

Sunghoon always took his time as if to study the inside of your body wondering which move would alwaysbsend you more over the edge.

Slipping his fingers out to deprive you from the sensation a little bit, letting them smooth over your small bundle of nerves before easing them back into you. 

In a scissoring motion, he carefully opened you. With the opening he managed to slip in a third finger making your hand fly across your mouth to stop the loud moans daring to slip through.

Sunghoon’s jaw clenched, shoving his fingers knuckle deep into you making you wail into your hand. “Why so quiet princess? Y’know I love hearing you” He snickered seeing how hard you were trying to keep quiet

“Don-Don’t- w-ant peop-people to hear” You pitfully let out clenching around his fingers the moment they curled into you. He can’t have that

He tooted his tongue shaking his head, “Oh no, let them hear know how good I’m making you feel”

“Let everyone know I’m the one making you feel like this” He whispered into the shell of your ear and your body and mind flared 

You reluctantly let go of your mouth noticing how Sunghoon’s finger picked up in pace as he smiled seeing you listen to him, “Hoonie…Hoonie-” Your gasps was frequent as you rested a hand on his shoulders for support feeling the familiar tie forming in your stomach daring to snap 

“Let go for me princess” His fingers continued to bury themselves as deep as they could in you as his thumb found a spot right on your neglected nub making you snap in half

His moving fingers in and on you made clench around his fingers until your orgasm crashed like a tidal wave over you.

Your body shivered as he continued to use his fingers to help ride out your high. In a weak attempt you tried to stop his moving fingers yet, he kept going. You let out a loud whine, picking at his bracelet to garner his attention. 

Smiling at your soft pulls at his bracelet, he brought his free hand to pick at your necklace. Your dazed expression was enough to have him pull out his fingers and out of your pants to see how you drenched his hand with your juices.

The side smirk changed into him opening his mouth bringing his fingers to taste you. He groaned the moment his fingers made contact at his tastebud, loving every second of it.

Instead of cringing, you softened to mush as he licked his fingers clean, popping his salivated covered fingers out before shoving them into your welcoming mouth.

Without words being exchanged you wrapped your lips around them, faintly tasting yourself mixed with his saliva on your tongue. “You’re the sweetest, don’t you agree?” He chuckled as he wiggled his fingers in your mouth having you gag by how deep they were

Sunghoon admired how you looked. How you took anything he gives you without hesitation. His heart fluttered.

He pulled his fingers out and the faint string of your saliva connected his finger to you made him let out a low groan.

Your legs squeezed together as you could feel the trickling of your leaking hole pouring out, “Please” desperate pleas fell out of your mouth like a broken record, “Please. Please. Please” Whining loudly, you looked up to Sunghoon with pathetic eyes

“Words princess. I’ll give you anything. Just tell me what you want” 

It bothered you because he knew exactly what you wanted but he wasn’t going to give it to you unless you said it out loud for the confined space of your room, the world watching, and him to hear. 

“You. I need you” 

Sunghoon’s lips tugged upwards hearing you. His smile was different from other times. He smiled at you and he could feel the look—the pure emotion pooling in his eyes towards you. He gulped harshly, closing his eyes shut before you could notice how he was looking at you. “Then let me take care of you”

His hand played with the waistband of your pants before tugging them down, the cold breeze hit your now bare core when your pants and panties were discarded somewhere in your room. 

You closed your legs tightly because no matter how many times he’s seen you like this and worse, you still felt shy. “Nu uh let me see you” Sunghoon’s hands bent your knees before prying open your legs open and there he saw your glistening entrance

The magnetic trance brought him in and he placed a soft kiss onto your covered stomach before slotting his head right in between your legs feeling his hot breath breezing your wet covered hole for it to be replaced by his tongue gliding over your swollen clit all the way down your folds. 

Your hands flew to his hair feeling how he opened his mouth wide enough to gather as much of your arousal as possible. He didn’t care if his senses were being all filled with you, he rather it be you than anyone else. 

Repeating the motion over and over again, his tongue lapped before teasingly protruding at your gaping hole knowing how much you loved to be filled by him in any way. 

As he tugged on the sensitive nub with his teeth, you screeched, your hands pulled at his hair harsher as the more he ate you out. The longer you felt his warm mouth closing and opening with his tongue gliding all around making a mess, the more your back arched while he kept your legs wide open for him.

“Taste so fucking sweet” He groaned against your core as he dragged his tongue all over as you continued to spill all over his mouth

He rarely came up for air, losing himself in you and the more he lapped at your leaking pussy, the more it led to the twisting of your daring to squeeze out the build up in you again, “C-close! ’m close, Ho-Hoonie” 

“Come on my tongue” He said in one breath before attaching himself back onto you 

He sucked on your clit using his tongue to soothe it, only to do it all over again while his fingers slipped into your gushing hole, pumping in and out of your in an irregular place to help elevate you closer.

Feeling the tie becoming done the more you lost yourself on his tongue, you whimpered as you came all over him, your body shaking with a loud moan and a harsh pull of his hair as he drank up all of your release in satisfaction that he ripped yet another orgasm out of you. 

His humming vibrated up from your core all the way to your mind in a split second making your body have an immediate reaction. You tried to pull yourself away from the sensitivity, already too much for you to handle but Sunghoon locked his arms under your knees holding you in place giving one last drag of his tongue on your smeared covered pussy. 

He pulled himself back up just enough to face you which showed the bottom half of his face covered fully by your release.

You felt the warm blush creep onto your face from embarrassment seeing the mess you left on him but his reassuring smile bloomed something else in your heart. It’s the very thing you’ve been trying to ignore whenever you’re with Sunghoon. 

Noticing how your eyes trailed off somewhere else he softly stroked your head gaining your attention back onto him easily, your confused eyes stared at him before leaving as you saw the same reassuring warm smile still on his face.

You smiled loopily up to him and Sunghoon felt the thud of his heart against his chest. 

You barely could keep your eyes open making him chuckle and ultimately deciding to ignore his own problems, “Get some rest princess” His tone soft and mellow as he soothed your sides but he let out a yelp when you suddenly wrapped your arms around his neck and dragged him down to your lips

Vigorously shaking your head, you cringed at the taste of yourself but with how easily he reciprocated the kiss your mind washed that feeling away.

With his body flushed against yours, you tiredly rubbed yourself against his obvious hard on making the hold on your waist tighten. 

He groaned louder than he wanted feeling the friction again his erection, “You don’t have to” He tried to reassure you but you only pressed your lips harder together to shut him up

Your hips moved faster, feeling his clothed cock rubbing your aching core, soaking his pants and bulge. You were going to drive him insane but you’re the only person he’s willing to give up his sanity for. 

Pulling himself away from the kiss, he fumbled with his pants as he hastily tried to remove them as fast as he could. He needed to free himself from the aching hold from his pants right now. 

Kicking them off somewhere, he easily removed his shirt and right before you was Sunghoon in all his glory. Admiring his build and the muscle definition from all the time he’s at the gym told you that after the chaos that was your family, you were finally being rewarded with the peace of what's yours. 

Looking all around, you saw his raging cock standing all high and mighty, desperately begging for you to send him to the only place he could ever reach with you.

The fire in you ignited when his hands grabbed the ends of your shirt to lift it just enough to display your upper body to him.

Your neck glowed with his old and new hickies all over your neck and he felt satisfaction grow more knowing you were marked all for him. Trailing down to the in between of the crevice of your breasts before engulfing one of them in his mouth and the other in his hand. 

Hoonie. Sunghoon. Mine. 

Your mind was compromised and that’s exactly what he wanted.

Not realizing how one of his hands let go of your breast it wasn’t until you felt his tip slipping into your entrance making you realize he was distracting you from the sudden stretch of his cock opening you like how it always did. 

You hissed never able to get used to how he stretches you out no matter how many times you’ve done this with him. “Hoonie” You whimpered

Sunghoon’s hand let go of his shaft that was guiding him to softly engulf yours.

He rested his head in between the crack of your neck and shoulder as you sucked him into your hole, “Taking me like such a good girl” His mouth let out a strained groan feeling you wrap around him

“My good girl” He whispered for himself when he knew you couldn’t hear

Your shudders far too loud to pick up on what he said trying to adjust yourself to his size already feeling him so deep inside of you.

It wasn’t until you gave him a weak nod that he could move did he feel the wonders of your pussy again.

Sunghoon adjusted your falling shirt to make sure your beautifully marked breasts were displayed as his index finger traced over each of his marks on your skin before having it land on your hip stabilizing himself to shallowly move in and out of you causing the little ounce of control you had left snap as his tip hit the same spot he knew to have you unravel for him. 

Sunghoon knew you far too well, he knew how to take care of you, to hold you in the palm of his hand. 

He worked day and night memorizing everything he could learn about you. 

The slow drags of his cock in and of you made you grow increasingly needier for something harder, faster, you moved your hips to meet his slow steady thrust, to feel him deeper. “Oh?” He chuckled out raising an eyebrow noticing your action 

Putty. You were nothing but mere putty in his hands. “Faster Hoonie please” Your voice cracked with each word, “Can take it like a good girl promise” Your delirious state made him swoon and how could he ever deny you of your pleas for him

“You’ll be a good girl for me?” He hummed, one harsh thrust sending you further into your dazed out state before having it replaced by the precious shallow ones, “Take everything I give you?” He huffed out as you weakly nodded your head

You’ll be his good girl forever.

“Don’t regret it princess” The wind knocked out of your lungs with his instantaneous change when a harsh thrust followed after another hit your insides

You moaned loudly as his hands held your body in place he slammed his hips harder and faster into you in a pace that made you euphoric.

Even though he couldn’t see it, he could feel it and he knows you must feel it too. You just had to. 

His hand that engulfed yours soon slotted in between, interlinking your fingers together and instantly you held his hand back with equal force that he held yours with. 

This was something neither of you initiated before but it felt right. To hold each other like this. Giving up for each other.

The sounds of your arousal making it easier for Sunghoon to glide was obscene but to him it was perfect.

His tip kissing your cervix had your eyes rolling to the back of your head as you held tighter on his hand holding yours, never wanting to let him go “Hoonie. Hoonie!” You chanted your nickname for him as it was the only thing you could ever know 

“Look at me” He told but no matter how hard you tried to open your eyes they would close the moment they opened, the pleasure taking over you 

But just as easily as he gave you that pleasure, the easier he was to take it away from you from the still of his movement. Your hand loosened from his but not enough to let it go.

Letting out a whine trying to move your hip to continue the motion of his cock slipping in and out of you

The harsh grab of your chin turned your head to him, “I said look at me” Sunghoon’s chilling voice made your glassy eyes open, the beads of sweat forming on his forehead making some of his hair stick to it that you weakly pushed away.

You wanted to see Sunghoon, all of him, nothing blocking you regardless of whatever state you could ever be in. 

His and yours eyes locked, your held hands gripped onto each other harder. This moment was too much, far too intimate to just be friends but maybe because it was more than that.

Maybe it was always just more than that, something beyond casual friendship and deep down there was possible reciprocation. 

He wasn’t helping as he let out a warm smile landing a kiss on your lips that wasn’t like the other kisses you’ve received from him before. This being more passionate and dare you say loving.

It was unclear what this would entail for you and Sunghoon but there was a desperate search for something unknown that hadn’t been completed. 

In this moment, there was an underlying fear eating at Sunghoon and it was his damn brother, Jay, in the back of his subconscious mind.

But knowing Sunghoon the way you did, you were able to feel what he felt. All his fears, worries, needs, etc. You felt them im you.

In your attempts, you allowed him to kiss you however way he pleased. Harsh tugs of your lips before becoming easier and softer letting your lips get lost in each other, memorizing the familiar world that neither of you ever wanted to leave if it wasn’t for the reason to finally address the pittering of your hearts. 

Sunghoon rested his sweaty forehead with yours when he pulled away from the kiss with a heavy pant.

Neither of you looked away and you gave a weak smile, warming his heart that he nearly slipped out the few words that tugged on his heart that he couldn’t dare say out loud at least not yet. 

Still buried inside of you, he began moving his hips again catching you off guard at the sudden movement. You were too caught up in the moment and the fluttering of your heart.

“Say my name” Sunghoon softly told, slipping fully out of your only leaving his tip in you before slamming right back into you

His previous pace came back as a carnal desire in him drove him forward, he continued the snap of his hips against you wanting to embroider himself external and internally of your entire being, he gripped onto the hand he never let go of, digging his fingers into your knuckles “Say my name princess. Fucking say it” 

You mimicked his action, digging your own fingers into his knuckles holding onto his hand for the only support you ever needed, “Sunghoon” The singular call of his full name, not his nickname of any sort but the fullest form of him snapped his breaking point as he rammed into you with the intent of making you his.

“Don’t stop. Keep saying it” He groaned, “I’ll make you all for me” Those words made you clench around him, feeling the arousal seeping out of you more that had him slipping out by just how wet you were

“All for you Sunghoon” You wailed not caring how deep down you meant those words 

“Mine…” He murmured the words to himself as it settled into the furthest crevice of his mind, “All fucking mine” His relentless ruts made your insides tingle in need as the build up in your stomach grew more

“Gonna come Hoo- Sunghoon, going to-” You cried out feeling the build up daring to snap in that moment

“Come for me princess. Cream on my cock” He roughly spoke in your ear, “Give it to me” Your walls clenched around him the closer you reach your climax, he groaned as you hugged him that made his mind zeroed on reaching his orgasm with you

His thrust got sloppy and messy as he was nearing his climax, “Almost there, just a little more princess” 

“Going to take everything I give you like how you always do” He said

Your hands holding each other’s, the sounds of his hips meeting yours, the lewd sound with the unmistakable smell of pure sex in the air surrounding the two of you was ecstasy. 

His mouth hangs opens, strained noises beginning to twist his tongue as his mind tried to catch up to his heart, “I-I L-L…”

What is he thinking? What he is so sure of saying that it’s at the tip of his tongue, ready to fall at any moment. “Fuck Princess” He deeply sighed out instead

What was he thinking of saying to you?

You felt the twitch of Sunghoon’s cock bury as far as it could as he stilled his messy thrust to allow the spurts of his cum shoot into you making you moan at the feeling prompting your own orgasm.

You covered him in your arousal as Sunghoon left all the sides of your walls covered with him.

The tightening hold on your hand, you screwed your eyes shut, your mind too hazy to pick up the sincerity of the almost said words, “So perfect for me” He said which didn’t feel right to say leaving a bitter feel in his mouth when there was something he rather say, express what his heart screamed

Because his heart knew what it felt. 

Not wanting to let go of him, you weakly wrapped your arm around him, the uncomfortable feel of your shirt bundled up over your chest didn’t bother you in the slightest as you cared about your bodies stuck together.

You felt the weak thrust he gave to push his cum further into you making you shudder through your heavy pants but when he was slipping out you tugged at his body to stop him, “Stay inside please” 

You don’t know why you suddenly spoke your mind. Usually you would’ve been okay just sleeping in his arms but this time something, you just wanted him as close to you as possible.

There was something kindled in you and you trusted Sunghoon, you knew him. Like how he always promised, he’ll take care of you.

Even when you didn’t know where, who or why you needed saving, Sunghoon would know exactly what to do and he’ll be at your beck and call. 

The exhaustion catching up to you, your eyelids felt heavy as you slipped in and out of your daze. Sunghoon drowsily chuckled, nodding his head leaving the same ticklish manner against your making you weakly giggle.

“Anything for you” He kissed the side of your face before wrapping his arms around your sore body to cradle you close to him

“Rest princess” He whispered warmly 

Your heavy eyelids finally close, allowing you to be completely surrounded by Sunghoon as you stay in his arms, his fingers making small circles on your back.

Too far deep into consciousness and unconsciousness, he whispered something so low that you weren’t able to pick up on it, but the soft place of his lips against your forehead made you smile. 

Your fatigued body rested in Sunghoon’s embrace just like how you always did. Your breath evening out as you could finally rest.

“I’ll give up everything just for you princess. Just say the word and I’m yours…” 

ᥫ᭡.

Today was an exceptionally hot humid day. Jay was supposed to be out for the rest of the day but he couldn’t bear the heat any longer, it was making him irritated so he made a u-turn to head back home deeming he could deal with everything later. 

And the moment he walked through the door, he expected to be greeted with silence as always but instead he heard fits of laughter and loud screams following the splashes of water from their pool.

He furrowed his eyebrows quickly taking off his shoes rushing over to the patio. He didn’t think anyone dared to use the pool, the wound of their mother’s death still being too deep but times are different, people change and old scars could become healed. 

He stopped dead in his tracks hearing Sunghoon raw true laughter, his eyes peeking through the small crack of the opened door to see the wide smile his brother had showing all of his teeth with his teeth like fangs peeking through.

He’s never seen Sunghoon smile like this. 

When Sunghoon disappeared from sight it brought Jay back to his senses, he made his way to the patio door prying it open, “Hoon?” 

Now Jay wasn’t sure what to expect when he pushed open the door but you were at the bottom of the list.

Sunghoon’s arms wrapped around your shoulder holding you close to him, his head resting in the crevice of your neck and shoulder, your wet clothes clinging to your body leaving little to no imagination of your figure.

Sunghoon felt chills run up his spine at the call of the nickname he hated so much. His eyes traveled up to see the horror in Jay’s face. His arms tightened around you to keep you close to him, noticing how your laughter came to a sudden stop, your shoulders tensing at Jay’s sudden appearance at the door. 

The moment you caught sight of Jay, you instantly pried off Sunghoon who was beyond reluctant to let you go but you somehow managed to succeed.

Your eyes caught Jay’s and he felt his world come to a complete stop unable to singly comprehend what you were doing in front of him, in his house with Sunghoon or even why Sunghoon had his arms wrapped around you with his head resting on your shoulder as if you were his. 

Past the quite literal horror on his face like he had seen a ghost, you could feel the sharp gaze from him staring right at you before noticing the earrings on the side of his ear and the butterfly birthmark on the side of his neck.

“Hi, you must be Sunghoon’s twin brother, Jay, right?” You don’t recall any news of Jay’s return from Sunghoon, it must’ve been a surprise for him when he went to the airport that one time

Jay tried to find any type of coherent way to form his sentence but whenever he tried to speak, it would either be muttered gibberish or straight up nothing, just like always.

You nervously gulped at the silence, adjusting your wet clothes to at least have it stick to you less as you gave an awkward smile towards him. 

Realizing that he hasn’t looked away, not even sure if he’s blinked the entire time he was staring at you. He gave a quick nod, not trusting his voice to come out.

Yet, upon seeing your awkward smile being replaced with one more genuine did he feel the flip of his heart. 

“What are you doing here?” The question directed at him brought some sense back into him to reality

Jay managed to look away from you to the harsh glare sent his way by Sunghoon. He jumped but narrowed his eyes to mimic his brother’s glare towards him because why was Sunghoon looking at him like that when it should be the other way around. 

You looked between the brothers noticing how the tension was rising higher the second neither of them spoke or looked away from each other, “Uhm-” You tried to say something, anything that could help ease the tension but Sunghoon grabbed your wrist before you could say more

“Let’s go” Sunghoon walked past his brother grabbing a discarded towel to wrap around you escorting you back into the house 

“Wait Sunghoon-” You tried to gain back your balance confused why he was acting like this in the first place so you pulled your arm away with a loud huff

You held the towel close to your body, staring at Sunghoon with confusion and seeing the look on your face caused his skin to crawl in unease. 

You turned your back to Sunghoon to look at Jay whose been watching your every move, “It’s nice to finally meet you Jay” Your smile that Sunghoon swore to be the only one to receive it was now being shown to the very person he never wanted to experience it

“It’s nice to finally meet you too…” Jay’s response was short and gentle but it felt as if there was underlying meaning behind it

You thought of how he didn’t ask for your name but Jay didn’t need to know your name. He’s already thought of it countlessly to the point that it’s engraved into his mind forever.

It wasn’t until now that he realized the dainty necklace on your neck was the same exact one on Sunghoon’s wallpaper. 

That bastard.

There was a tug at your fingers that made you look away from Jay back to see Sunghoon looking at you with pleading eyes, you let out a sigh of defeat before waving goodbye to Jay.

Pleased to finally see you walking into the house Sunghoon’s hand hovered over your back wanting to put as much distance between you and Jay as quickly as possible.

When he stepped one foot into the house, he stopped in his tracks, “Sunghoon” The usage of his full name had his head turning to the side just enough to see his brother

He knew what that call of his name meant, the challenge it raised.

Turning his head back to see you waiting inside of the house for him, he didn’t say anything, stepping into the house to leave Jay alone on the patio. Jay determined he was starting to get sick and tired of seeing the back of Sunghoon’s head. 

“Thanks for the heads up” You sneered just loud enough for Sunghoon to hear you 

Choosing not to respond, he just ushered you up to his room, closing the door behind him hoping that it was quiet enough for Jay to hear the faint click of him locking the door. 

“Why didn’t you tell me that your brother was back?” You asked earning a heavy sigh from Sunghoon who unwrapped the towel around you after finding a new change of clothes for you

“He was supposed to be gone for the rest of the day” He muttered more so himself rather than for you, “It wasn’t important for you to know so why bother telling you about useless stuff” Able to clearly hear him this time your lips tugged downwards as he handed you his clothes for you to change into

You deeply sighed taking the clothes, “That’s not the point. The point is that you tell me beforehand to avoid these type of moments” 

Sunghoon’s eyebrows creased downwards, a side tug of mouth down at your words, “Type of moments?”

The moments that made it seem like you and Sunghoon were something more than just friends who fuck, that you were his and that he was yours.

If others believe facade that surrounded you and Sunghoon then there was bo possibility of getting confused of what you are Sunghoon are.

If no one was confused then there was no way you could be confused by it. 

You should’ve been more careful of your words to avoid this topic but too caught up in it, you hadn’t realized what you were getting yourself into, “You know…” Your voice faded off unsure if you wanted to even finish the sentence

“No, I don’t know. What do you mean by it?” His already agitated voice only grew more, he wanted clarification but you kept your mouth shut placing the set of clothes on the nearest thing that could hold it, “What do you mean by it?” Sunghoon asked again which only made you regret ever saying anything

Wanting to move on from the topic you dismissed it, “Nothing Hoonie” You murmured picking up the set of clothes again to walk out of his room into the bathroom passing by the same portrait of Sunghoon and Jay hanging on the wall 

You looked at it now being able to see the portrait in its entirety. Seeing how both Sunghoon and Jay looked ahead, the same stoic and empty expression on both of their faces.

There was something Sunghoon wasn’t telling you, you knew that much but you trusted him more than you should’ve, your heart only seeing the good in him.

You just didn’t know if that was your biggest mistake.

“It’s excessive, isn’t it?” 

You whipped your head to the sudden deep voice to see Jay standing right next to you copying your stare at the large picture.

Seeing Jay without the interference of Sunghoon or the feel of any suffocating silence and tension were you then reminded of the gnawing thought. Why did Jay feel so familiar to you? 

He could feel your gaze on him and hesitantly he looked at you. Seeing you in person reminded him of just how deep in the pit he was in because of you and it was like no time had changed.

He noticed you holding a change of clothes and he could instantly tell they were Sunghoon’s and it felt like a punch to his stomach. His nails tugged into his thumb noticing the necklace peeking out of the damped shirt, “That’s a nice necklace” He softly commented 

Your fingers unintentionally played with the said necklace, softly smiling to yourself at the reminder of who gave you the necklace and the deeper meaning behind it “Thank you, it was a gift from someone…Very special to me” 

The words very special to me dreaded something in him but he tried to look past it, he knew if he questioned further he might get an answer he doesn’t like but seeing the soft smile on your face as you spoke of it, if it meant having a conversation with you, he’d be willing to put up with anything. 

“So how did you and Sunghoon meet?” 

The question made you drop your necklace to fall against your neck. It was a simple question filled with curiosity, you knew that but you feared you’d slip deeper than you wanted to.

You nibbled on the bottom of your lip trying to find the proper way to answer his question. “Well he uh…” Your throat becoming dry “We became friends through some tutoring circumstances”

You didn’t notice Jay’s frown hearing your answer. Sunghoon must’ve insisted you to become his tutor just because of who you were, to him. It made his hands ball into a hard fist.

Deep down he knew it wasn’t as simple as that, there was more to you and Sunghoon’s ‘friendship’.

Through the clench of his jaw he gave a smile, “That’s surprising to hear that” Jay mumbled making your raise an eyebrow

He knows better than to have his emotions get the best of him but why should he cover for Sunghoon? Because he was his brother? No. Jay’s morals are greater than that.

“Sunghoon was a straight A student his entire life so just to hear he needed a tutor is a little shocking…” When Jay was going to say more he stopped, he saw the innocent oblivious look in your eyes as his words were conflicted with everything you could have possibly known about Sunghoon

His eyes looked around before landing on the ground before looking back up to you. It wasn’t for Sunghoon’s sake but rather for yours. He didn’t know the full story and he couldn’t risk hurting you simply based on his assumption, which he knew deep down are to be highly true.

He sighed out a tight smile shrugging his shoulder, “It must’ve been a burnout after all those years finally catching up to him” Jay gave a comforting smile to ease your tensed shoulders

You shoulders dropped, a silent relief washing over as another moment where neither of you said anything took over until you broke the silence, “I heard you’re studying abroad, that’s amazing” You smiled making his heart twist in itself because even when you were so close, you were still out of reach

He let out an airy chuckle, tilting his head to the side enjoying the compliment you gave him because to you, it may have been something so small but to him it meant the world.

“How is it? Do you enjoy it? Where do you study? What do you study?” There was a certain gleam in your eyes after each question that made them sparkle, the curiosity you now have for him was the same that he had for you made his heart warm

But the bubble popped the moment Jay heard the click of a door opening turning to it to see Sunghoon walking out catching you and him in front of the very same picture he caught you the first time you saw it but this time, you had Jay beside you.

Sunghoon clenched his jaw in distastefulness before harshly moving his eyes from his brother onto you without saying a single word only to walk back into his room, closing the door behind him.

You deeply sighed, rubbing your forehead in some type of annoyance with Sunghoon’s confusing temper but still managing to have the greatest patiences to deal with it just because it was him.

“I think it’s time we end it here” Jay softly spoke causing you to dryly chuckle showcasing a small smile making something tickle in his brain

“Yeah, I think so too” Your eyes trailed after him as he turned around to face you with a side smile that caused your own smile to grow on your face

Instead of walking towards the bathroom, you walked towards Sunghoon’s room having Jay watch you with a deep frown. He hated that you were walking towards his brother’s room, being stuck to know that Sunghoon knew of you in ways that he dreamed of ever knowing.

“Hey” You turned hearing the soft call out to see Jay giving you a closed smile that more than enough to show a vulnerable side to him

“Next time we catch each other like that, let’s learn about each other”

ꨄ︎

It wasn’t until a few hours later that Sunghoon drove you back home, only for him to return past midnight. He was aware of Jay’s deep precision and care for his sleep schedule that he expected him to be long asleep when he returned home, but to his surprise, Jay sat dead center in the hallway, arms folded watching the door until Sunghoon walked through the door. 

“What the- What are you doing?” Sunghoon jumped back seeing the dead blank stare his brother was giving him and even more surprised to even see him up this late in the night

“You’re a fucking bastard but you already knew that, didn’t you?” The chair screeched against the tile floors as Jay stood from it, an obvious ache in his body for how long he was sitting there but there were greater things that mattered

Sunghoon’s jaw tightened watching his brother. He knew exactly what Jay meant, he expected this reaction, he worked for this very moment, this is what he wanted? But underneath the harsh glare he was being given, he saw a familiar craze, one that he knew far too well. 

He was caught off guard when Jay’s hand suddenly grabbed his collar, “How did you find out about her?” Sunghoon’s eyes widen just for a moment before dropping his initial shock to show a stoic expression instead 

He’ll gladly meet his brother halfway, to push and corner him to the edge. This wasn’t some unresolved fight between them from the past waiting to be fixed. The wound was fresh this time, open and gushing for immediate attention, “By finding and meeting her” 

Jay bit back his tongue with a shake of his head, he let out a laughing scoff before lightly shaking Sunghoon by his collar, “How did you find out about her Sunghoon?” Instead of using the usual nickname he always used to address his brother, he used his full name, this time Jay’s tone was much darker and lower than any other time he spoke to his brother

“Should’ve thrown away your pathetic diary” The mention of the sacred notebook made Jay shove his brother harshly knocking him off his balance

“You were waiting until I was gone to go through my stuff” Jay laughed almost manic as the pieces slowly fell into place, “Should’ve thrown your pathetic dignity with it when you found it” He sneered making Sunghoon scoff

Sunghoon grabbed Jay’s wrist, tightening around it to forcefully remove Jay’s hold to push him off of him, “You’re one to talk” He muttered under his breath noticing how his brother looked away from him, eyes set on the floor 

“You’re going to regret ever thinking about going near her” Jay quietly warned making Sunghoon sarcastically laugh

“Oh no, you’ll be the one going to regret coming back” Sunghoon gave a tight smile that was too menacing

“Should’ve stayed right where you were” Each word he said, the taps against Jay’s chest only grew harsher “You didn’t have to come back” Sunghoon looked at Jay’s eyes dropping the menacing smile 

Realizing now that taking the harsh approach towards Sunghoon would lead nowhere, he needed to think of anything that could make his brother realize what’s at stake, who's at stake but it hurt him.

Jay never wanted this to happen—any of it but he thinks he can live with that for the rest of his life because now it was you who was at stake, “You’re going to hurt her Hoon”

Ignoring the use of the nickname again Jay has been using ever since they were kids, those simple words made Sunghoon loosen his hold on Jay’s collar, a ringing in his ear muffled everything else around him making it feel like he was submerged in water.

His breathing became heavy, his chest rising and falling with each heave. Hurt you? He’d never dare let alone even think about it.

“I would never hurt her” He mumbled to retaliate his brother’s words, his voice growing weak

“And what do you think you’re doing? You’re using her Hoon just to get back at me because you know it’s the only way to get to me” Jay’s soft voice filled the defying silence that Sunghoon didn’t dare to break, he couldn’t defend himself to say it wasn’t true when it was nothing but the truth

But he’d never admit it, afraid of the consequences of his own actions coming to haunt him, “No… You don’t know anything! You don’t just get to swoop in and mess with my head like this”  

“Just because you didn’t get what you wanted doesn’t mean I should be deprived of what you lost” 

Jay can’t let his emotions get the best of him, he knows that but he can’t hold himself back anymore, “Sunghoon, get it through your thick skull that she is not yours to have!” He snapped

“You could never care about her nearly as much as how I care about her, you only care about getting back at me in the worst way possible” Jay harshly patted his chest, “I like her! I care about her! You don’t” 

“You only care about yourself” Jay spat making Sunghoon let out a loud laugh to stop his rant from going on anymore

Having to listen to Jay was like cats scratching a blackboard, it was driving him mad. His chest was tightening, it was getting harder to breath, “No Jay, you’re the one that needs to get it through your thick skull that it fucking hurts doesn’t it?” 

“The betrayal, the feeling of losing what could’ve been yours”

“How does it feel Jongseong?” 

When was the last time Sunghoon referred to Jay by his other name? He can’t remember.

Maybe it was when their mother was around or was it all in his head, a dream that he had that Sunghoon for once called his name warmly 

“I’m sick of having to fill the void that you left behind just to please others to reach their expectations” The conflict in Sunghoon’s mind cleared and at the end of the dark tunnel surrounding him, there stood you waiting for him with the smile he could never live without

“Did you ever think that maybe you’re the one that could never care for her the way I do?” Sunghoon raised an eyebrow seeing how his question affected Jay, how it settled in his mind as his face contorted into a sour expression

“You’re no good for her Sunghoon” Jay gritted through his teeth raising his head to meet Sunghoon’s cold gaze

Now unfazed, not a single spare of remorse in his eyes, he felt lighter, “And you’re just so perfect for her?” He asked staring directly towards his brother to get an answer out of him 

The question made Jay think. If Sunghoon, his own twin brother was no good for you, was he any better than him? He didn’t have any answer to the question. 

Sunghoon’s rested face now plastered a smug smile as he looked at Jay who was yet to say anything. He patiently waited for his brother to say anything but to his amusement, he didn’t have anything else to say.

For the first time in a long time, Jay was silenced. 

“She’s mine Jay. This time make sure to stay the fuck away” 

・・・・・

When you peered open the door, you didn’t expect to see Sunghoon. You had just seen him not even 2 hours ago after he left your place but seeing him back so soon confused you. But when he lifted his head, you saw the pure exhaustion in his eyes.

Your confused demeanor melted right then and there fully opening the door with your arms wide open for him. 

From any previous exhaustion, this was different. It was something you saw in the mirror for many years after finally breaking free from it, mostly thanks to Sunghoon.

You wondered what made him like this, now it was rare for Sunghoon to be vulnerable around others but with you, it always came naturally. 

But even still, it worried you during the very few times he got like this. 

Whenever he needed comfort, he knew he had you. You’ll welcome him into the haven he grew far too comfortable in. He just hopes it was the same for you, that whenever, wherever or however you needed him, he’d do anything in a heartbeat. 

He didn’t need to say anything, crashing his body into your welcoming one, his arms snaking to cling onto your body afraid he would lose you to the unthinkable.

Damn Jay coming in and messing with his head. He would never hurt you, never would think about it in a million years. 

You were his friend. No. You were more? You meant something to him. You held such a high value to him that Jay could never reach. He couldn’t.

You softly creased his back, immediately noticing his shoulders dropping, the loud relieved sigh coming out of him as his head dug further into your neck.

The haunting thoughts finally left him alone. Whenever he was with you, all his worries washed away.

Even though he wasn’t your boyfriend and you weren’t his girlfriend, in these moments all could be forgotten and what wasn’t remembered didn’t destroy anyone.

Yet, why did it feel so wrong to think of it like that? Even if you weren’t, you were his, there was no denying it.

He wants to be selfish for once, he wants things in life too. He’s grateful and thankful for the greatness that is you in his life.

But he wants something. He needs anything that wasn’t what the two of you already have together. Maybe soon, he can consider it.  

Even since you met, you saw him for him, not as one of his father’s notorious sons or in the shadows to be forgotten of and most certainty not as Jay’s twin brother.

You knew him in his purest form as Park Sunhoon. 

And he didn’t need the validation of his father anymore. He doesn’t need to be healed from the scars left behind from Sorin. And he most certainly doesn’t need Jay’s apologies.

All he needs is you and he’s set for life.

ᥫ᭡.

Jay pranced around his room. Sunghoon’s words played in his head on a constant loop even long after he left. She’s mine Jay. No you weren’t. 

You were meant to be his.

But instead, you only knew of his brother, not knowing a single thing about him. 

The spiral of his mind only became worse the more he thought about it. There were times, much easier times, when Sunghoon didn’t have a single clue about your existence and you were the center of Jay’s life. 

How different life could’ve been if he didn’t care and only gained the courage to go up to you back then. Maybe then he wouldn’t have to go to sleep every night picturing a life where he and Sunghoon got along. That you remained the center of his life. But he could only dream. 

He scrambled through his drawers and every single crevice of his room until he found the intacted notebook stored in the very place he left it years ago. Jay didn’t think Sunghoon had the decency of leaving it right where he found it. 

Flipping through the pages, he felt the pull of his heart strings as he read over his scribbled handwriting ranting on countless pages. Sunghoon managing to read his handwriting let alone understand it when he couldn’t even understand it himself was amusing.

There were far too many words, expressive words at that and so many uncompleted thoughts and feelings that never got shared. 

Your soft hand wrapped around his wrist, dragging him through the unfamiliar grounds of the school on his first day saving him from the consequences of arriving at the new school late. 

He never got to tell you how grateful he was for you that day, it was more than you could ever imagine.

He searched for you all over the new school grounds in hopes to find you and when he did, he thought it’d be like any regular interaction that the gratitude words would fall from his mouth easily but he couldn’t even move his body, his feet glued to the ground, his throat drying up and the palms of his hands clamping from sweat as he only looked at you from afar. 

He couldn’t even approach you without breaking down. Now times are different and he can somewhat hold a conversation with you but back then the only way he could even attempt to talk to you was through sticky notes he’d leave on your desk everyday.

It started off with simple words of affirmation telling you to have a good day, etc. but it soon grew to him leaving the notes you missed on your desk to his attempts in making you smile or even better laugh whenever he noticed your mood dropped. 

He’d take care of you the way you took care of him and it was until later he noticed his care for you changed into more, beyond just being grateful.

It was the way you would smile softly at his sticky note, quickly pocketing it before anyone could see what he wrote for your eyes only or how your eyes would drop from the lack of sleep trying your best to stay awake but would jump wide awake whenever someone managed to get your attention. 

It must be nice to experience your attention, something his own brother was able to know but not him.

When he stopped on the very last entry he ever wrote it was a reminder of his first and only unrequited heartbreak. The basket endlessly filled to the brim of things you liked, a handwritten letter which he poured his heart into and in the middle with clear bold letters, ‘May I please take you out?’.

It was meant to be given to you the day you finally knew of Jay, that you saw him for his pure dedication to you, for what he can be to you.

Yet, he stupidly got distracted. Too focused and caught up in someone else that was never meant to be his in the first place. 

Before he realized it, he already lost before he could even start.

He should’ve left the house earlier, he should’ve ignored Sorin who was waiting outside the front door. He never should’ve invited her in to catch up after so long of not seeing each other.

He should’ve done nothing.

And yet, he was leaning in to meet her halfway, to catch her lips with his even when he knew, when he fucking listened to Sunghoon confess his feelings for Sorin during the few times they every truly talked not as friends or strangers but rather as actual brothers. 

Jay has many regrets, of course he does, no one is perfect. But he sure as hell was not going to add another regret to the list. You don’t belong to Sunghoon, you weren’t his. 

You belonged with him.

You belonged to Jay. 

ꨄ︎

Jay walks over to the door, opening it after hearing the singular doorbell ring and he was surprised to see you on the other side, “Oh” Your resting face soon bloomed with a polite smile as you registered it was him 

He should’ve been happy to receive your smile, but it felt too formal, too forced. It was the smile that Sunghoon didn't receive but everyone else did.

“Hi Jay, I hope you’ve been well. I’m sorry for suddenly dropping by. I’m just looking for Sunghoon” You peered over his shoulder into the house before looking back into his eyes

Something dark consumed Jay whole and there was a recurring thought in his head that was driving him to the brink of his morals and sanity.

You always thought about Sunghoon and he believed Sunghoon didn’t think of you the way you thought of him.

It may be cruel for him to even think this but Sunghoon didn’t deserve your unconditional care and love, he was sure of it, especially not after what he was doing, why he even approached you in the first place.

You didn’t deserve it but it’ll hurt you to find out but it would only destroy you completely if he allows Sunghoon to continue on with this. To use you for his own benefit.

“He’s using you” 

You blinked rapidly trying to understand what Jay had suddenly said, “What?” You awkwardly chuckled 

“You’re too good for him” He heavily sighed, “You don’t deserve this. Any of this” 

“What are you talking about Jay..?” 

Honestly, you didn’t want to know. Your mind tells you to walk away without waiting for a response and wait in the comforts of your bubble for Sunghoon to come to you.

“I’m so sorry” Jay rubbed his forehead, clear angst forming on his face as the conflict in his head grew more 

His eyes looked up from the floor to your eyes and that is where you see the pitiful look in them. Your hands unconsciously balled into a fist, for some reason you’re always seemed on the receiving end of it.

You hated being pitied. “What are you apologizing for?” 

“Sunghoon” The single name that could make your entire word stop left Jay’s mouth, “He never needed any tutoring. He’s been a straight A student his entire life and he didn’t experience some type of burnout”

“He just said that to make you feel bad for him to have you tutor him” 

You shook your head. You came early morning to late at night just to help him study, to retain the material he was supposed to be struggling with, “With all due respect Jay, you weren’t here”

“You didn’t see him… Any of it. He was struggling, he really was” Clinging to the very hope you had left for Sunghoon you defended him even against his own brother because it’s always been you and Sunghoon

Even though you weren’t together, he must’ve felt something, anything, when you and him were together. 

Jay hoped you trusted his words over the ones that Sunghoon planted into your head but it was a losing game. “He’s a good liar”

“Why?!” You suddenly shouted, your tears rolled down your cheek, you frustratedly wiped them away, there was no reason to cry. “Tell me, why would he lie about it?” 

Jay took a moment, he wanted to console you. You shouldn’t waste tears on his brother who wasn’t worthy of them. “To piss me off” His voice barely above a whisper, “Sunghoon and I tend to clash a lot and there just some times where one of us gets what the other wants so badly”

“Why use me to get back at you? I have no value to you” You scoffed loudly but through your confusion like a montage Sunghoon flashed through your mind

His vampire smile you grew to love, the way he’d hold your body and his fingers tracing over your back, his lips that felt like they were solely made for you melting against yours.

You knew Sunghoon but creeping in the back of your head, it was starting to feel like you didn’t know him in the slightest.

Because how could you, just his friend, know him better than his own twin brother? 

You didn’t know the effect your words had on Jay's heart. You held more value to him than words could even begin to express but he couldn’t express it.

He only remained silent, unable to say anything to rebuttal your previous statement without exposing the buried feelings he’s had on you for years. 

In the silence, you looked away from Jay to the ground. It’s far too much for you. Turning your heel towards the front door you left without another word and Jay didn’t try and stop you.

This was it. You’d realize just who Sunghoon is and you’d be gone from their lives forever. A piece of dreaded it but anything was better than you and Sunghoon together. 

As you left, Jay could only watch your back before it disappeared behind the closed door. 

Your lips quivered. You didn’t know why you were crying, there was no truth to Jay’s words but deep down there was always suspicion. It was too good to be true even though you weren’t officially together.

Sunghoon was like your knight in shining armor, a haven you never seemed to be able to escape from even if you tried to leave and he didn’t mind having you there even when you weren’t his. 

He treated you like you held the utmost importance in the world but he never once said he liked you, you just assumed he did even when you never heard those words. You were the idiot that chose to believe your delusions. Actually believing Sunghoon liked you. 

What trick your mind played on you to ever think that.

ꨄ︎

Sunghoon has been staring at his phone for far too long. It’s been 5 days, almost 6 days in the next 26 minutes, 43 seconds, since you’ve last talked and this was the longest time he’s gone without seeing, texting or hearing you. 

Roughly grabbing his phone and keys, he rushed out of his room, down the stairs and out the door. He’s tired of telling himself that he’s worrying over nothing, he was going to see you. 

Around 30 minutes later, when the sound of the doorbell rang echoed throughout the house, Jay peeked his head at it before opening the door.

His resting face contorted seeing you fiddling with your fingers and at the sound of the door opening you raised your head showing your puffy red rimmed eyes just.

You cursed under your breath seeing Jay, there was a 50/50 percent chance that either of them would open the door. You just wished it were Sungoon instead of Jay though. 

Reverting your eyes somewhere else, you softly cleared your throat, wiping the imaginary tear stains off your face. You haven’t spoken since you suddenly left the house almost a week ago and you didn’t feel like talking. 

“What… What are you doing here?” Jay broke the silence taking in your disheveled state, something he used to see back then whenever you were in a down mood during school

“Is Sunghoon here?” You managed to ask

There was a quietness that was suffocating, the question hung heavy in the atmosphere, “Why are you doing this?” You looked at him after hearing his question only to see his outraged expression, “Why are you looking for him?”

You rubbed your forehead hastily, “Just tell me is he here or not?” You were exhausted and you wanted nothing more but to crash in the only comfort you knew of

You knew it was stupid but you’ll deal with Sunghoon– with everything after properly resting but for now you just wanted him to hold you the way that made you believe the unsaid things feel real. 

Jay scoffed, gaining your attention, he shook his head as he looked at you with amusement, Sunghoon had already casted his spell all over you, “Are you kidding me?”

Your arms wrapped around you in an attempt to console yourself. You looked away from Jay, unable to face him. Suddenly Jay grabbed your shoulders making the safety hold you had for yourself break apart as you stared at him with a widened expression. 

“Snap out of it” Jay realized it’s already too late, “Do you hear yourself?” 

“Why are you crawling back to him?” You roughly pushed his arm off your shoulders letting out a frustrated huff

“It doesn’t concern you Jay!” You angrily said

“Don’t you realize he’s already messed with your head? He has already hypnotized you!” He didn’t realize the build up that would soon lead to his own demise, “Why can’t you see that he is no good for you?!”

This time you scoffed loudly, “And you would know what’s good for me?” You raised an eyebrow, “Give me a break Jay” You laughed shaking your head

“At least I have a better idea than the two of you” Jay said, “He doesn’t care for you” His words were harsh, mean but it was the only way he could think would be able to get his message through 

“You deserve more, someone far better than him” There was more to Sunghoon and it was right in front of you, “I-I… I’d never do what he did to you” His voice going quieter with each word 

He wasn't sure what he was hoping to achieve but he hoped he was able to do something at least. 

“I’d cherish you the way you deserve to be” He chuckled out a faint smile before dropping it, everything was pathetic, he was pathetic. “If you were just with me from the start… You never would question anything” He said more to himself but you managed to pick up on it

You didn’t understand a single thing Jay was spewing but his words seeped through the small cracks that were bare and exposed waiting to be filled with what you longed for. 

“You’re too good for this world, far too good to be dealing with him–Any of this” Jay heaved before running a hand through his hair forcing it away from the frame of his face making you able to see it fully for the first time, “I can’t bear to have Sunghoon ruin you- Just because he could” His voice cracked with every word

Freezing hearing the break of his voice, you hesitantly pushed aside your own heightened emotions to look at Jay’s distraught state. There was more to meet the eye when it came to Jay and this was it. Built emotions finally crumbling down.

You hesitantly pulled Jay’s hand away from his hair which he easily let you but kept his eyes to the ground unable to look at you. 

“Jay” The softly calling of his name leaving from your lips made his body burn and mind hazy, he shut his eyes trying to shut away the thoughts in his mind, “Jay” The second call of his name broke him

He let out a pained noise crashing straight into your arms. You stopped, your eyes went wide at the sudden closeness but nevertheless you wrapped your arms around holding him close to you.

He shuddered, feeling the piercing touch of your touch of his body but he eased shortly afterwards. Jay clung onto your body as if he were to let go, you would disappear to his brother once again. You didn’t say anything as you held him, rubbing your hand over his back to ease him. 

You didn’t know why you felt the need to take care of him like this. It must’ve been because he was related to Sunghoon or maybe even because he reminded you of yourself. Seeing the same breakdown in him that was in you before you met Sunghoon.

He carefully pulled away from the crevice of your neck, your arms fell onto his shoulders while his hands rested on your hips.

His eyes threaded up to you, he gulped harshly feeling how the line between rationality and irrationality were blending together where he didn’t know where one began and the other ended. 

There were more said when neither of you were speaking than when the two of you spoke and that scared you.

You looked deep into Jay’s eyes and you could see how he held his entire world in there and you were dead center of it. Your mouth moved to say something, anything would suffice in this moment.

Jay’s eyes shifted from your eyes to your agape mouth and found himself looking longer than he intended to. When he looked to your eyes again, he noticed your eye trailing between his lips and eyes and like a familiar trance he found himself leaning straight in to capture your lips with his. 

With the single taste of you after longing for it for so long felt like a drink of cold water on a hot summer night. It was like a wave chilled his burning body as he was brought into the deep end already too far gone to comprehend anything. 

There was a sickening sensation in his stomach but it was overcomed with desperation for you. 

Your mouth moved with his and the hands on your waist brought you closer, meshing your body with his. Your loosened arms wrapped around his neck for support as you felt your body resting up against his.

He smiled in the kiss before carefully guiding you into the house, taking off your shoes, kicking them, discarding them somewhere near the door.

As you were led into the house you were too familiar with, there was a sensation of unsettlement. However, it was swept away in the daze you seemed to be under as you continued to kiss Jay who kissed you like a starved man having his first supper. 

Guiding you up the stairs, his lips still connected to each other as you felt him softly tug at the bottom of your lip, asking, pleading to let him in.

When you gave the slightest opening, he slipped in and explored your mouth as if he had been searching decades for it. Your hands went to the play with his hair, your feet walking backwards from his guidance. 

Yet, when you opened your eyes feeling the thug of your bottom lip through his teeth was it then did you catch sight of the familiar painting hanging in the center of the wall in the hallway.

Your eyes landed onto Sunghoon this time. It was the sudden reminder that you needed to wake up from the daze to realize what you were doing, where you were going and who was guiding you down this path. 

But Sunghoon can’t judge you. He doesn’t have the right to. He didn’t like you. You were just convenient to him whenever he needed you to be. He doesn’t care about you. He doesn’t care. He was just using you.

You screwed your eyes shut. Out of sight, out of mind.

Your hands harshly tugging at Jay’s hair as you continued to let Jay guide you to his room, walking straight past Sunghoon’s. 

The moment of entering Jay’s room was there was a switch flipped, the desperate kiss became toned down to a more sensual one, memorizing how you felt molded with his. Contrasting how Sunghoon usually is with you. 

Your legs bumped against his bed as he carefully placed you onto his bed, slotting himself in between your legs before folding them to bring you dead center of his bed as he hovered over you, never letting his lips off of yours. 

Jay’s prayers were finally answered, for the first time in his life, he was finally listened to. You softly moaned in the kiss feeling his hands running up your sides in a loving manner that easily fooled you and pulled you deeper.

Feeling the smile you pulled away only for Jay to chase after you. He wanted,needed more. He didn’t want it to end. You weren’t able to get out a single syllable as he attached his lips back onto yours.

“Why are you smiling?” You managed to say through the swollen of your lips as he continued to kiss you even past your question

“Because I’m happy” He murmured a response because it was the truth, for the first time in a long time, Jay was finally happy

He was launching himself head first into your world and that’s the highest peak of happiness he could ever achieve.

You felt the jumble of emotions rolling around you and the shivers made Jay finally pull away to look at you like you hung each and every single star in the universe. There was a loopy smile plastered on his face that made your eyes remain on him.

He stroked your face with the same fond smile, “We can take it slow” He spoke, his tone nothing louder than a whisper

You didn’t know Jay, not in the way you knew your friends, not how you knew Sunghoon but you felt a sense of security, desire and love that you hadn’t felt before from him. This was different, something new but you weren’t sure if it was real. 

But Jay was adamant on making it known you belonged right in the center of his life, with him. 

“Only if you say yes” His eyes looked deep into yours, “I’ll show you true ecstasy… One that comes from nothing but love and care” 

Your eyes searched over Jay trying so hard to find any deception but your mind leaned towards what is being offered to you, how you can be satisfied with what you’re ‘deprived’ of. 

Love.

You found it hysterical. What is love? Is it what you feel whenever you’re with Sunghoon or was it something Jay could show you? 

You weren’t sure what it was, never knowing how it felt or ever truly experiencing it, “Jay” You softly pleated clawing at his back, tears trickled in your eyes hoping that was more than enough to convey what you wanted, what you needed from him

The pure desperation written all over your face made him smile before softly chuckling. He only ever dreamed of having you, “You make me crazy over you baby” You didn’t register the nickname that rolled off his tongue so easily as his mouth captured yours in a desperate kiss

“But I need you to tell me” He murmured making your whine, the more he deprived you the more desperate you grew

“Yes! Anything- Just anything” You breathlessly spoke but your eyes never opened as you pleaded

You squealed when his hands were roaming towards the hem of your shirt only to stop. Feeling his shaky hands and hesitation, you weakly nodded your head grabbing his hand with yours to feel his cold touch against your bare stomach.

“Let me do all the work baby” He pecked a few kisses on your cheek and jaw as his hands rose higher making the goosebumps rise onto your skin

Taking in his words, you completely let your body become loose letting him take over. His head slotted next to yours as his hand reached your breast only to realize you weren’t wearing a bra.

He smirked, having his finger rub over your hardening bud, “Oh?” He whispered in your ear making you turn your head from embarrassment

His dark chuckle rumbled something in you pushing past your embarrassment as he engulfed your breast in his hand, fondling with it before his other hand bundled the rest of your shirt upwards before taking it completely off you to throw it somewhere in his room. 

You tried to cover your now exposed body but he stopped you before you could. His eyes never looked away from yours, he gave you a cheek kiss then brought his lips from your shoulder kissing the entirety of your collarbone until getting to the center only to lick in between the crevice of both of your breasts. 

Jay grumbled a satisfied rumble that tickled your skin but unable to let out a giggle you only raked your hands to his hair, your legs trying to muddle together to ignore the growing need in between your legs but there was something stopping you and it was in the shape of Jay.

He laughed noticing you growing more needy the more he took his time with you, “Plea-please” You whined making him freeze, this desperate plea shot straight to the restraint in his pants 

Popping one of your breasts into his mouth, his tongue gliding over your nipple making your body jolt at the sensation, throwing your head back into his pillows as your senses became filled with Jay. 

His free hand grasped the other breasts making sure you weren’t deprived in the slightest by him. He left your breasts covered in his saliva with the way he was messily eating it, his tongue dragged in between your breasts, unsure which side was his favorite, only to deem that both were.

Everything about you did he love. 

The clinging of your underwear became worse. With a popping sound of his mouth detaching from your breasts before trailing below your breast, leaving open mouthed kisses each stop as he lowered to your stomach until he reached the waistband of your pants. 

He looked up at you with his blown out pupils, asking for permission to let him ravish you, to let him in. Your mouth was dry, no matter how hard you tried to swallow you couldn’t, only feeling the dry scratches against your throat. You could only nod your head enough to have him looping his fingers under your belt loop before tugging them painfully to slow down. 

Your hands crumbled at his sheets under your grab as you and Jay never looked away from each other.

He pulled your pants down to your ankle before fully taking them off, only leaving you in your panties, seeing the way your legs squished together to hide yourself but he carefully put his hand on your knee, prying your legs wide open for him. The wet splotch center of your panties outlined your leaking entrance just for him. 

He felt his heart stop, his eyes zeroing on your clothed cunt and you noticed his gaze had you trying to close your legs again but he kept them opened.

He brought his head closer to your pussy making you attempt to keep him away feeling the beating of your heart in your ear the closer he got but his arms looped under your legs to keep you in place. 

A soft whimper fell from you falling deaf on his ears as he placed a long kiss on your knee before going further, deeper to your inviting self until he reached your inner thigh. Just a few centimeters away from him was paradise.

He planted a kiss on your clothed core making you jump at the contact, letting out a desperate moan in the process rocking your hips forward to his mouth wanting more.

Jay hooked his fingers around the side of your panties bringing them down, making sure to leave kisses on the bare skin being presented and with each kiss, the more he felt the hazy feeling in his mind getting worse. 

When you were completely bare, he had to take a moment to appreciate you. His eyes looked all over your exposed body for him and he burned this image forever in the depths of his brain to never forget it, not that he thought he ever could.

“You’re gorgeous” He softly muttered, his hands tracing over your bare skin trailing down to your aching core and when his long glided over your swollen bud you let out a sweet moan 

Jay could listen to you forever. Without thinking twice, he quickly brought his head to your soaping pussy, his mouth already salivating at the thought before latching onto making your mouth fall slack as you melted into his bed. 

His mouth opened wide, his tongue slurping everything to taste your arousal all over his taste buds allowing himself to get lost in it. You’re the best thing to ever happen to him.

His satisfied hummed shot directly into your core making it send a wave of pleasure into you. Your quiet moans became louder when his tongue protruded your gaping hole teasing it before dragging his tongue on your folds all the way up to your clit to suck on the bundle of nerves. 

“Wa-Please” You blabbed your head felt like it would fall off any second the more you entered in the trance making you forget everything that existed outside of Jay’s room, only focusing on him

Hearing you fueled Jay with a need to make you fall apart for him, to forget Sunghoon that already left his mark on you wanting to replace it with his own.

Jay lapped at your pussy like you were the best dessert to ever be offered to him, he didn't come up for air, he was so engrossed in your sweet cunt that he found oxygen overrated, who needed it when you were all he ever needed.

Your eyes clamp shut, the thin layer of sweat covering your body as you hold yourself back from your building orgasm, “Don’t hold back… I got you”

“Let go for me baby, I’ll take care of you” Jay slurred as best as he could continuing to take in everything that spilled out of you

Jay will take care of you. He’ll pick up in whatever Sunghoon lacked to give you.

Your hands found their way to his hair, tugging at them only to soothe his head as your whiny moans and the wet sounds of his mouth lapping at your core filled the room.

The sounds of his mouth leaving your wetness before going back in repeated like a broken record.

“Please… ‘m gon-gonna cum” Your words barely tied together as you snapped, your chest heaving as you let out a loud moan as you came all over Jay’s tongue without warning

“Sorry. Sorry” You emptily apologized for the mess you made but Jay didn’t care, why would he 

He helped ride out your high, never stopping his laps at your pussy. It wasn’t until he finally detached himself from you and did your arms landing onto your sides that he finally got a proper breath of air.

His chest rose and dropped with each pant but to see your your fucked out expression made it all worth it. 

Your eyes remained close, your body jolting from his teasing fingers at your entrance that he thought would better help ease your sensitive body.

You weakly shook your head in an attempt to save yourself from the overstimulation. He chuckled, giving one last kiss to your clit making you open your eyes to see him. 

You looked all over his eyes, the side loopy smile and the bottom half of his face glistening from your release made you cringe seeing it.

“You taste amazing baby” He praised but you didn’t expect him to easily remove his shirt, wiping away the smeared arousal on his face before throwing it somewhere to catch your lips with his

He happily groaned in the kiss. His body pressed against yours and there you felt it. The covered bulge grinding against you the more he moved, making you moan in the kiss catching his attention. 

Jay pulled away from the kiss to cup your face stroking your cheek softly with his thumb as he looked at you, the same loving gaze from the very start.

Your insides twisted and this time you were the one that grabbed the back of his neck to bring his lips back onto yours. 

With the little space you allowed him to be away from you he fiddled with his pants in one swift motion and with the spring, you felt the wet slap against your body from his hardened cock.

You pulled away from the kiss to gulp not daring to look down, simply wrapped your arms around his neck in an attempt to bring his body closer feeling the poke of his cock. 

His fingers found their way to your leaking entrance once again to gather as much of your arousal that he could before lathering it over his hard on. Smearing his precum with your arousal almost made him come right then and there but he knew it would be better inside.

“I know, baby. I know” He whispered in the shell of your ear

Jay knew something but you weren’t sure if you knew.

He hovered your body and the last thing he saw was your doe eyes looking up to him making his heart beat faster than ever.

It finally registered that this was reality, this was his reality. He no longer had to dream wondering what his life would’ve been if he had you from the start because now he did have you. 

Aligning his tip with your entrance, he let out a shaky breath “Take a deep breath for me baby” Your uneven breathing made it impossible for you to take a proper breath but when he carefully inserted himself the air got caught in your throat making a gurgling sound erupt from you

Your hands flung to his shoulders for support as he groaned, feeling the closed confinement of your wall wrapped around him. The deep breath had done nothing in preparing you to take in the daring stretching ripping you open on his thick girth.

Too big. Too wide. Too full.

Your fingers dug into his shoulder blades as he continued to slip in, tears filled your eyes as they trickled down the side. Your senses were too filled and far gone to comprehend anymore. 

Jay rested his arms over your shoulder to leverage just enough to lay his head next to yours. He kisses your salty tears away, his hand tilted your head to the side enough for his mouth to slot with yours, to distract you. 

You whimpered in the kiss as he stilled his size, feeling the contraction of your hole around him, engulfing him perfectly and he didn’t expect anything less from you.

He lowly groaned as he held your head in place as the kiss became needier, your noises muffled by his mouth while the tears fell onto his face from your eyes, “ ‘m sorry baby, so fucking sorry”

“Promise to make you feel good”

“You’re taking me so well, you’re absolutely perfect” He whispered praised into your ears as he strokes your head

The same perfect whisper in your ear by someone else. You clawed at his shoulder blades sure that you would leave indents by how you gripped him. You kept your eyes shut with the excuse in mind that you wanted the tears to stop from spilling. 

“You-You can m-move”

Jay looked at your face, your eyes closed with tear stained cheeks, your eyebrows knitting and the hold on his shoulders.

His first thrust was slow and shallow. Your loud gasp filled his ears as your fingers dug even deeper into his shoulders. He hissed quietly feeling how you took everything he gave you, “Perfect” He murmured dragging out his cock before plunging it back in

Each time he left, you sucked him right back in. Your arms wrapped around his back, feeling his muscles moving with his movements. You wrapped your legs around his waist to hold him, to have him take you away. 

The feel of your breasts squished in between along the drag of him sliding in and out of you made your head hazy, your held back moans shot into his ear.

Jay slipped his arms over your body to engulf your body like how you were doing to him. 

The meet of his hip each time releasing a splash of wetness to drip down messily filled the room the more Jay snapped his hip deeper into you. “Beautiful baby”

“The absolute best, was meant to be just for you”

“Meant to be for me” He blabbed right into your ear with each thrust following after every word

You clawed harshly at his back hearing his words, your whines becoming louder. Meant to be for who? For Jay?

“Right baby? You were meant to be mine” His sharp thrust made your body jolt after each one, “Perfect..- Fucking perfect” Any sense of control Jay had went out the window, any morals he had to reconcile with Sunghoon flushed down the drain 

But fuck. It felt so good. Too good. You were too good to him just for him to let you go back and get ruined by Sunghoon. 

Your only attention was on Jay who was providing such pleasure to you, the way your hands clawed at his skin knowing it would leave scratch marks made you feel sorry but with every grunt he let out each time you dragged his fingers across his back, you don’t think he cared. 

His hips continued to snap against you and the full pull of his cock before shoving it back into you made you too far gone to think.

When he managed to peel his body off yours just for a moment, he looked down to where you were connected. Seeing how he slipped in and out, he needed to see all of you. 

Moving enough to grab your hips as he thrusted deeper at the new position deeply into you. You threw your head back burying yourself in his pillows, turning to the side as you let out your muffled moans against them. Jay watched how your breast jumped from his harsh thrust.

His chest filled with pride but in a glimmer he caught the dainty necklace resting on your collarbone. 

It never moved from your collarbone and he felt sick. He was the one above you and yet, the necklace still laid on your bare skin like it was meant to be there.

 Sunghoon still managed to ruin this for him. He always manages to destroy everything. Jay grunted loudly, grasping the necklace and craning your neck up from his pillow.

Your eyes shot open to see him holding your necklace and like a cold bucket of water thrown, you froze. No. No. No.

Jay’s thrust became animalistic, filled with nothing but rage, jealousy, and most of all hatred. The love and care now long gone.

Your mouth fell wide open with nothing but louder moans leaving it as the sound of his hips harshly meeting yours. The familiar build up rose in your stomach and you shook your head, too much was happening and you couldn’t focus.

You tried to get him to let go of your necklace as the creeping orgasm was nearing. You couldn’t relax knowing you were about to break. But to your shock Jay’s thrust came to a sudden stop ripping your orgasm away.

Unknowingly letting out whine in your pants, you gulped harshly trying to properly breath as your eyes fluttered, the sticky feeling of your sweat covering your body as your hand tightly held Jay’s arm holding your neck up by your necklace.

Jay looked down seeing your pleading eyes looking at him, your hands weakly tightening to make him let go. 

He turned your necklace around until he found the clasp and without a second thought, he unclasped it, peeling it off your sweaty body.

There were very few times you felt your heart drop to the pit of your stomach but this had to be at the top of the list. Jay on top of you, buried deep inside of you, dangling the necklace, looking at the material like some medal.

Sunghoon really outdid himself.

He scoffed loudly, wrapping the necklace around his wrist to mimic a bracelet, he isn’t one to wear bracelets, always preferring watches but he will proudly wear it for you.

“Don’t worry baby, I‘ll buy you a new one. A much prettier one” Jay stroked the side of your face with the back of his finger to soothe you your frantic self

You stared at him in terror. You didn’t want a prettier, nicer or better necklace. 

You wanted your necklace.

He caught your lips in a haste, the kiss now filled with desperation. You’re not Sunghoon’s anymore, as if you ever were. 

In the kiss, he moved his hips picking up right where he left off with the same harsh and deep thrust that jolted your body up to burn from the fire of Jay. 

You whimper in the kiss, feeling again how deep Jay was inside of you. His hands stayed at your sides and you shivered feeling the unease flip of your stomach feeling the cold metal on his wrist against your hot body. 

When he pulled away, your hands clamped onto him for support. Your moans and wetness bounced off his walls as he continued to ram deeper into you, having his tip kiss your cervix with each thrust making you see stars.

He planted messy kisses all over your face, “My pretty baby” 

“J-Jay” 

Hearing how breathless you sounded, how you held onto him, feeling you tightening around him as if to keep him buried inside of you until the end of time, not wanting to let him go. He’d go through anything if it meant to have you like this forever. 

“Fuck baby, keep tightening around me like that” He grunted feeling you sucking him whenever he dared to pull away more than halfway, “Take me… All of me. It’s all for you”

“ ‘m close. I’m close- Plea-Please… Jay!” You moaned louder as you felt the tip of your orgasm reaching, Jay’s hips continued to slam into you

Your head was full of Jay and the orgasm that he was about to rip out of you, forgetting all about the necklace against your hips wrapped around Jay’s wrist.

“Come with me baby-”

The sounds of your pussy slouching with his cock made an obscene noise that sounded like a perfect melody to Jay. His thrust became sloppy, he was slipping further out only having to guide himself back deep into you.

You let out a lewd moan, filled with rasp and wetness as you came all over his cock, covering all around it of your release. 

“Gonna make me- Fuck baby”

“Take all of it- I give all of me to you”

Jay held you close and firm while your arms loosely wrapped around him scratching his back as your velvet walls were now painted white because of him. 

Resting his forehead against yours, your chests heaving together soon finding the same rhythm falling and rising together.

Your eyes fluttered open to see the look of pure tenderness, warmth, love. 

You shiver seeing the look in his eyes, you felt something achingly burn in you. You weren’t sure if it was the sudden emptiness of Jay slipping himself out of your sensitive core or if it was the familiar look that made your skin crawl. 

Noticing your worry filled eyes he captured your lips with his in a slow kiss. He wanted to get rid of that look in your eyes, he wanted to make you melt for him

His hands run up and down your side as your hands tingle to move as they land at the bottom of his nape playing with the hair at your fingers as your lips move together. 

“My baby” He murmured in the kiss as he let his body rest against you. His roaming hands found your back to rub it as he pulled your body to him.

This was what he had always wished for. To finally have you. 

“Rest baby” Jay pulled away just enough to whisper for you to hear 

Rest.

Yet, the locked doorknob rattled furiously followed by harsh bangs against the wood door with the beyond angry voice of Sunghoon just on the other side knowing that you were in Jay’s room, in his fucking bed. 

 “Park Jongseong open the fucking door”

——

▐ taglist: @woniefull @notevenheretbh1 @matchaeyun @definitelynotherr @wonnienyang @strxwbloody @adoredbyjay @haelahoops @love4hee @deobitifull @jayrelics @enhalxvr @roslayy @nshmrarki @jayhoonvroom @capri-cuntz @woorcve @hveanlyanqelic @nikiswifiee @m1m1-70 @bunnihhoon @lyxnneee @stormy1408 @shiningnono @enmino @jamaisunoo @femmefqtqle

[libraford]

Park Cleanup Pet Peeves

I'll be starting my seasonal gig at Parks and Rec in a couple months and I've got a couple things I wanna say. I know that this will probably not reach the people who need to hear it, but if ONE LESS person leaves the parks a mess, I will be That Much Happier.

-You're not supposed to smoke, drink, or have sex in public parks but I know that people will anyway. But if you are going to do those things, please dispose of the evidence in the trash cans. A human has to pick these things up.

-Dog poop goes in a bag. Bag goes in the trash can.

-The little wax paper liners in the women's room? See you're supposed to put your pad/tampon in that wax paper bag, take the bag out of the bin, and then dispose of it in the actual trash can. Don't feel bad, no one told me either. Also no one told the dudes I work with. But this reduces direct exposure to bodily fluids, especially as the summer gets on and it gets hot in those bathrooms.

-On that subject! The little bins that they go in next to the toilet? Don't stick trash in there. Don't put diapers in there. Also don't put beer cans crushed in such a specific way that I slice my hand on them as I try to jimmy it out of there. Literally, that bin is too small for most things. They are meant specifically for those brown bags. Please for the love of god, throw things in the trash can.

-As for the urinals, please no solids. Most commonly gum and chewed tobacco, but you can use your imagination.

-If you're doing a photo shoot or an event with confetti, please use a paper confetti instead of a plastic one- its easier to get rid of.

-If you're doing a pizza party, we'd rather you stack the pizza boxes in a pile next to the trash can instead of trying to fit them in the trash. Because then we can just throw the trash bag over the top and tie it instead of trying to fish it out. This kind of goes for any big trash- if it won't fit in the trash can easily, don't try.

-Please don't call cops on people sleeping in the parks if they're not bothering anyone. Even if they've been sleeping there all day. Dude's just trying to chill.

-Destruction of the toilets will result in the indefinite locking of the restrooms. You ruined them and now everyone at the softball tournament can blame you for it.

-Parks people are not the police. We are maintenance workers who are not trained to handle most emergencies and the most we can do in any situation is report to the proper department. Please don't look to us for answers if someone is starting a fight.

-Also please don't spit on us for driving on the path. We're permitted to. Its essential for us to drive on the path to do our job.

-please don't abandon animals at the park. Rehome them properly. I spent a whole week trying to catch a rooster last summer.

-look, I get it- 'oh no, your pretty building has writing on it!' Grafitti is so edgy. We get it. But it means Jacob has to sand it off now so that the kids at the birthday party don't see a giant drawing of a weiner. Acts of rebellion that create more work for the working class are not revolutionary.

-please do not set fire to the Tiny Free Library. Why did you do that? That's mean.

-please do not feed bread to ducks and geese. Corn, birdseed, lettuce- those are better for them. If you want to reduce tge amount of goose poop in the parks, shop feeding them bread.

-also do not anger tge geese. They remember what its like to be dinosaurs.

I'll have more later, probably, once the season wears on.

[cutebat]

I love neglected reader fics with yandere batfam, but at the same time, it kinda pisses me off when I read some small recs of the reader kinda giving in to the family who neglected them, basically forgiving a bit despite them saying MULTIPLE times that they want nothing to do with them.

So, this is my version of how I would want them to react when the batfam tries to "make up" for them:

Damian: "(name), would you like to-"

You: "No."

Damian: "Why?"

You: "Because I don't like you at all."

Damian: "But what about the times when you tried to spend some time with me?"

You: "I don't remember any of that."

Damian: "So, let's make new memories together with the family-"

You: "Hell no."

Damian: "(name), I will tell father about your behavior towards me."

You: "Go ahead, tell him. I don't give a shit about you, him, and the rest of this family. I literally hate every single one of you."

Damian: "You don't mean that, do you?"

You: "Oh, yes, I do. I hated you guys ever since you all neglected me, and there's nothing you can do to change my mind even if you guys try to manipulate and guilt trip me. And don't even try to use that "I was raised by the League of Assassins" bullshit with me. Now, get the hell out of 'my' room before I shove my entire foot up your ass."

[dramaticals]

DRAMIONE FIC RECS + WHY YOU SHOULD READ THEM — 100k+ words edition

hogwarts: a home by coralcollective — reimagined horcrux hunt. draco is so down bad for hermione and the smut is crazyyy. theo/hermione friendship. pansy is the breakout character and you'll love her. there's nsfw art and inappropriate use of the malfoy signet ring. please check the tags! (it says incomplete on ao3, but it's only missing epilogues so don't be afraid of starting it)

word count: 372,978

chapters: 67/70

the commoner's guide to bedding a royal by olivieblake — god, this fic!!!! it's a modern royal au and the ensemble of characters make this whole world feel so alive. it's inspired by will/kate and harry/meghan and it's sooo cute. theo and daphne were the breakout characters and i love them dearly. if you're looking for a lighthearted romcom-esque, occasionally angsty (because duh!) fic, this is it!!! i probably read this in two days which is insane considering the word count, but that should just tell you how lovely this whole fic was. there's a second part to this if you're itching for more afterwards (and it's just as good!)

word count: 503,570

chapters: 45/45

draco malfoy and the mortifying ordeal of being in love by isthisselfcare — honestly if you haven't read this yet..... this is god tier. a CLASSIC. this should be taught in the schools. hermione's a magical researcher / healer and draco's one of the best aurors out there. he's assigned to protect hermione because she's in the midst of a big discovery. hermione's not happy about it and draco isn't either. slow burn!! idiots in LOVE!! forced proximity!!!!! EMBEDDED ART!!! honestly this is the fic that made me want to learn how to bind which is so serious and if you haven't read this yet you need to.

word count: 199,548

chapters: 36/36

the disappearances of draco malfoy by speechwriter — this is my new canon. it's a deathly hallows rewrite where draco accepts dumbledore's offer to fake his death and go into hiding with the order. enemies to friends to lovers. i honestly can't even remember what happened in canon because this is IT for me.

word count: 289,780

chapters: 33/33

this world or any other series by olivieblake — includes clean (book one) and marked (book two). anything by olivieblake should be a must-read, i swear to god. this one starts as a year 6 slow burn. draco and hermione are assigned partners for potions and it all snowballs from there. olivie writes so beautifully and her characterizations for hermione / draco are so good. slight warning for marked: this destroyed me and i pretend it doesn't exist, but it's still a must-read.

word count: 118,892 & 178,268

chapters: 31/31 & 39/39

rights and wrongs series by lovesbitca8 — you want fluffy dramione? read the first two parts of the rights and wrongs series. you want dark and heavy dramione? read the auction, an alternate universe of the fluffy dramione, where voldemort wins and they all get auctioned off to death eaters. please check the tags for the voldy wins au! all three were chef's kiss and coming from someone who isn't a fan of dark aus, reading the first two helped me get through the auction because you know where draco's coming from / what's in his head. you can just read the auction without reading the first two parts unless you like catching parallels and having more depth / context (which i very much love).

word count: 174,911 & 160,297 & 325,876

chapters: 36/36 & 24/24 & 41/41

[businesstiramisu]

There's a fanfic people keep recommending me for <x experiences> that I find incredibly offputting and misrepresentative of my own <x experiences>. And that's okay. The people recommending it to me got things out of reading the fic. Judging from their passionate author's notes, the writer got a lot out of writing it. I've got a thousand other fics on my to-read list, I can just check out those.

There's is no greater lesson on <category x> people here, just different tastes in fiction. And presumably different life experiences within <category x> (which is obviously true, <category x> is pretty broad)

"A cishet person must have made this, no queer person would ever portray queerness in this way."

"This artist must be white."

"No SA victim would ever handle the subject in this way."

"No woman would ever write women like this."

"This creator is obviously neurotypical. Everyone with autism/ADHD/depression understands-"

Nope.

People who make these blanket statements are very frequently proven wrong when the creator comes out as a member of that group. And even when they aren't proven wrong, even in cases where the creator isn't from the group in question, actual members of the group who don't fit whatever arbitrary criteria are being expressed will see these statements and feel excluded and erased.

Not everyone in your group is going to share your experiences. No single individual gets to personally decide what does or doesn't count as a "valid" expression of trauma or being part of a particular group, and creators are also not obligated to out themselves in order to "prove" their validity.

If something doesn't resonate with you, all that means is that it doesn't resonate with you. You don't have to like it. But you don't get to decide what it means to someone else.