#I don't need or want that negativity

[twilight-deviant]

Do you have theories about what Maya did to Fisk in Echo’s finale? Also, do you plan to write more? I’d love a sequel of your AU where Fisk buys Matt from an abusive husband.

1. Thank you for interest in that AU. I won't say I'll never add to it, but I don't think I currently have enough ideas to continue. Maybe one day. Never say, "Never." But I am writing on another FiskMatt fic right now, if you're interested in it. I just hit a bit of writer's block, but I finally finished the next chapter. Should be up soon.

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2. You mean in the final confrontation when Maya used her new healing powers (the MCU will do anything but give Maya her comic ability) on Fisk? I do, yes! I guess you could almost say it was like a therapy speedrun. Hahaha.

I have Thoughts on a lot of how they wrote Fisk in Echo (some good, some bad), and I may make a larger post just to get my thoughts out of my head. (Instead of texting my friend a lot.) But I was happy with the choice they made to have Maya challenge Fisk emotionally instead of physically. She didn't want to kill him (again), but instead heal him from past pain, like her mother's spirit did for her.

It makes me think of this bit from an X-Men comic. (Don't mistake me for someone who knows a lot about X-Men. lol. Just a few things.) Pietro's daughter, Luna, has the ability to alter people's emotions. She think she is helping pop-pop Magneto (I refuse retconning that he isn't Wanda/Pietro's father) by making him let go of the negative and traumatic emotions associated with his past. But Magneto does not want to be "saved" from that pain and anger. It belongs to him and is a driving force in everything he does.

That but with Maya and Fisk.

She still cares for the good parts of him she loved, and she wanted to be the bigger person and help him instead of hurt him further. I think it might even be empathetically motivated. It felt good when Taloa healed Maya from her emotional pain, and she thought it would help Fisk to do the same.

So when Fisk went on about how the trauma of an abusive childhood shaped him and motivated him, Maya thought if she could remove those negative emotions and get him to embrace her, let go of the hammer/violence/pain, it would help Fisk be less inclined towards evil in the now. In a sense, it might "cure" him.

But like with Magneto, it's not what Fisk wanted. He needs that anger and violence to be who he is. He doesn't want to be saved from it, not even for Maya. That's why he screamed, "I am not who you want me to be!" (Sad line, btw.) As if she wants to scrape away the "bad parts" of him and leave behind a better version. Fisk denies that he is or can be that person. (We love self-aware characters.)

It's not explicitly confirmed in the psychic vision of his childhood bedroom (*chef's kiss* for that choice of setting) if he does relinquish the hammer to her. The scene cuts away to reality. But you kind of get the sense that maybe he did, given his reaction.

I love how genuinely unsettled he appears for the rest of the episode. Like the ground collapsed beneath his feet, and he's trying to reconcile what his own emotions mean anymore.

Sitting in his plane, distractedly rubbing his fingertips together, as he is wont to do in times of unease. (Can't gif right now.)

So I'm not completely certain if Maya "turned off" the origin of all his anger, but it does sort of feel that way, right?

I don't doubt he'll once more be the unhinged anger man we love when we get to DD: Born Again, but I would love to see a small character arc where Fisk has to forcibly retake his rage or else lose all efficacy. (Something legitimately dangerous when you have as many enemies as he does.) I think it could be really, really good if they follow up with something like that.

[uncanny-tranny]

I recently had to do a project in one of my psych classes, and man, I knew that CBT was used for every little thing, but seeing over and over, "do CBT! CBT is the best for every mental illness!" was so jarring. I'm absolutely biased because of my own experiences, but I just don't think it's as universal a treatment model as it's touted.

If you didn't benefit from CBT, it's not because you're lazy or didn't try hard enough or lacked intelligence or foresight into your own needs. Frankly, it's a therapy model that (I think) shouldn't be the only readily-accessible model and among the only therapy models covered by insurance. Some of us should not be treated in a CBT model and that's okay. It's not a sign of poor character or unreasonable demands, and if you don't think it's a model that works for you, then it's your right to express that!

[royalarchivist]

I say this in the kindest way possible, but I think this style of prose is more appropriate for a personal account rather than an update account. I have no idea who's being talked about half the time. 🥲

[ Tumblr meme via @mikaikaika ]

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

I'm sorry I let down my guard.

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[forestgreenlesbian]

youre not allowed to b a freak loser loner anymore or at least youre not allowed to mention it lol. even like five years ago you could talk about being awkward and socially weird around meeting new people but now if you do that eveeryones like "ok edgelord you are deliberately cutting yourself off from community why are you so obsessed with being alone. you all need to go outside and make real friends you are too online." which like yes obviously but why is eveyrone acting like the only two options are you either a) have a load of friends or b) you don't want them??? it is so weird. to be seen trying & failing has become so taboo that people assume if you're alone it's because you want to be and youre trying to be cool & aloof or else you see things like small talk or reaching out to people as "emotional labour" and choose not to do them. like i am not fucking choosing not to do them i literally try to do them every day and find it very hard and then you tell me i can't even joke about that struggle or being a lonely friendless loser to maybe for one second make light of the bottomless pit of disconnect + loneliness i experience every day without someone blaming me for not putting myself out there. idk

[fearandhatred]

i was thinking about this line from my fic:

But the fall had hurt, too. Because the wind had cut into his useless wings like knives, his skin and grace peeling away under the friction, and he had been looking right up at the multicoloured and unreachable expanse of sky just to see it fade from his eyes into dull greys.

and i came up with this. i hope the vision came through

[givethispromptatry]

Tags

[getbreaded]

Started revising for the SI exam.

These past few days have been...not great. We submitted the ASW Project today, and we'll have the discussion tomorrow. Honestly think there'll be a lot of bugs, and I don't vibe with the prof, so it'll probably be awful lol

I've been isolating myself a lil bit, and my thoughts haven't been the most kind tbh, it's probably a mix of feeling exhausted at the end of the semester, knowing I still have 4 exams to go, feeling like a failure over not completing the degree in the 3 years, and feeling stuck in my life ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

But I went to the gym today, and I started revising, so it's not all bad 🌻 (I'm trying okay)

[makorragal-312]

Okay.

So this might be an unpopular opinion (or maybe not), but as a bi woman, I would be fucking PISSED if Buck and Eddie ended up kissing or hooking up during the bachelor party.

[americankimchi]

god i wish they hadn't retconned maul's death. i get wanting to explore more of his character because he was, objectively, one of the coolest star wars characters to ever hit the big screen and didn't get much screentime prior to his death, but also his role was fulfilled perfectly within those constraints so i wasn't too upset by it.

but by retconning it and making it so he never died it's like. okay. what now? the whole point (well, to me, ymmv of course) of the theed generator fight was that it was the first ever fight between the jedi and the sith in thousands of years, and that in the end even though the jedi (obi-wan) won the fight, a jedi (qui-gon) and a sith (maul) still died. a master and an apprentice dying together to herald the start of a new age/the return of the sith. perfectly paralleling the way in rotj a master (palps) and an apprentice (anakin/vader) died together to herald the return of the jedi. in both instances, a father figure (qui-gon/vader) dies in the arms of their son (obi-wan/luke) as a sith (palps/maul) is cast down into the abyss to their deaths. (palps being alive in the ST and retconning his death in rotj is also annoying for this reason)

i mean i like maul. don't get me wrong. he's an incredibly compelling character and i enjoy seeing more of him... but there's always the thought hovering in my mind like "he should be dead though. he should 100% be dead. this wouldn't be happening if he was dead, but i honestly would rather it not if it meant that maul was dead."

like the tpm fight just doesn't hit the same knowing that canonically he's just. going to become a robot octopus at some point. (shoutout to palps becoming sith glados in the ST) it cheapens the moment for me. it was supposed to be a moment of triumph marred by the deep and soul-crushing loss of a loved one and it's just... not, anymore. or at least not to the same extent. AUGH i'm just. frustrated. wish star wars as a whole wasn't constantly reframing/retconning what's been established. just puts a bad taste in my mouth.

[lighterium]

feeling the breeze

[pocketgalaxies]

listen. idgaf whether fearne wanted the shard or not. this isn't about fearne saying ashton should have the shard. this is about ashton taking the shard without telling the rest of the party! this is about ashton (nearly) killing themself because of a misguided assumption about what the party needs, without any actual discussion about it! this is about ashton's persistent inability to let people speak for themselves instead of presuming to know what's best for them! do you hear me!!!!!

[winepresswrath]

Armand's simpering little "and I never have" has taken on new dimensions for me. Technicality king and also I think very in keeping with his whole malign fairy creature deal. You can tell him not to hurt the bae, but you should really specify what "hurt" entails. Is chopping someone's hands off really hurting them? If they have annoyed you very much I mean.

-questions Armand might pose to Lestat that inspire him to leave the country

[teakoodrawz]

" I'm a Psycho, loving it~ "

[enixamyram]

I've been playing it very safe with the whole "they're both responsible" opinion for who screwed up where with Blitzo or Stolas. But now, I'm just gonna say it: I'm team Stolas.

And no, I'm not saying he's an innocent baby. In Full Moon he was just at fault for Blitzo with how things ended between them and they both obviously have their own trauma they need to work through. But as for Apology Tour, I am 100% on Stolas' side.

One of the main criticism I saw for Stolas was that he blind-sided Blitzo with his confession and then wouldn't let him come to terms with it before kicking him out. That's fair, but you can't use that same argument in Apology Tour. By this point his feelings are very clear and some time has past and now it's Blitzo who is letting his own issues and self-loathing get in the way of things.

And you know what? I saw so many fans get really passionate about the boundaries Stolas was pushing whenever he made uncomfortable inuendo's at Blitzo. Yet they've been pretty quiet about how Stolas tried to walk away multiple of times, told Blitzo to leave multiple times and even outright said her was uncomfortable with how he was talking to him. Just saying.

[italianpersonwithashippersheart]

The fact that it is GMMTV making Only Boo, arguably the biggest production company that does BL in Thailand, the one with the most power to change things for artists. That has put that bullshit ending where the artists just say hey that's wrong actually and it's magically fixed it's so insulting.

Stastically speaking out of the sheer number of boys they have in their employ at least a couple of them must be queer and under similar secretive constraints as Moo and the others were.

For GMMTV to show us this non ending where Moo gets to keep both because the company decided to change things, for them to be like, oh I'm glad you said something we were actually already changing things. Aren't we so progressive. I am so blindly enraged I don't know what to do with it.

GMMTV as a mega corp as the power to change things, to let artists be honest and come out, to manage the fans that go out of control with legal actions and a firm hand. Sure some fans would leave, BUT NOT ALL!!! Fans will adapt eventually, if GMMTV wasn't concerned more about their bottom line then the health and safety of their artists.

Seriously fuck this shit.