#I don't mean me
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the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again
#yeehaw#1k#5k#10k#posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours?#also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that!#unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference#edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense#also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags#1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now#he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic#2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign#like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock#3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing#it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is#extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once#it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life#i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about#Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect#if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it#aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week
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the angel staying over at my house asked for a nightlight in their room and i told them buddy, don't you produce your own light? what're you gonna do with more? and they said they wanted to see why people like it so much. and also that the nightlight i own is blue and they've been trying to understand color. anyways i think they've stared at it for an hour now
#pig originals#i am going to add to this tomorrow. don't know what this means yet but it's something#unreality#<- just in case. let me know if this needs any other tags#pig pens#hello i think the title for this will be 'the angel staying over at my house'. yes it is long i know
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things haven't been great but i think they will be. eventually 🌻🌼🩷
#personal#comics#tw abuse#digital art#personal comic#for the record no i don't think my mother loves me#but the idea that she did kept me in an awful situation for a very long time#the number of times people said “she's your mother. she's trying her best. of course she loves you” etc etc#but i don't think “love” and abuse are mutually exclusive#like even if someone DOES love you it doesn't mean it's not abuse and it doesn't mean it's ok#art tag
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"I want to eat you" is their love language and you can't change my mind
#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel fanart#hazbin alastor#hazbin rosie#radiorose#alastor#my art#autodesk sketchbook#they are so freaky they must have so many fucked up conversations like that I just know it#it's their weird way of “flirting” yk what I mean#I headcanon that Alastor HATES burgers and fast food in general ik it's very specific#my artstyle is so inconsistent ahah I'm experimenting don't mind me#hazbin comic
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Physically? I am sitting in my bedroom. Mentally? Spiritually? I AM DEAD ON THE FLOOR!!!!! THESE TWO HAVE KILLED ME!!!!
(Another drawing! This was originally attempt #1 at drawing stan, and then fiddleford just showed up. Kinda feels like them five minutes after the above acting like nothing happened though, so it works sdjkgkjfshj)
#HEALED FIDDLEFORD HAS ME BOUNCING OFF THE FUCKING WALLS!!!!!!! GIVE THE MAN A BRIGHT HAPPY FUTURE!!! FUCK!!!!!#I don't know how i'm coming off right now#when i say that i've been super manic about them for the past week I really mean it#guys Idk but I think I might be fiddlestans number one fan#I liked this pairing before book of bill and after reading it it only solidified things#IT IS SO MUCH MORE THAN A CRACK SHIP TO ME!!!!!!!!#fiddlestan#gravity falls#anyway this is supposed to be them the next summer#stan is working the shack to tutor soos for tourist season#fiddleford has changed while the twins were on the stan o war#STAN DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO FEEL AT FIRST and they have a lot of shit to work through from their past before they can start making out dksjds#sketchbook#traditional art#pencil drawing#traditional drawing#stanley pines#fiddleford mcgucket#gravity falls fanart
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this is just my opinion but i think any good media needs obsession behind it. it needs passion, the kind of passion that's no longer "gentle scented candle" and is now "oh shit the house caught on fire". it needs a creator that's biting the floorboards and gnawing the story off their skin. creators are supposed to be wild animals. they are supposed to want to tell a story with the ferocity of eating a good stone fruit while standing over the sink. the same protective, strange instinct as being 7 and making mud potions in pink teacups: you gotta get weird with it.
good media needs unhinged, googling-at-midnight kind of energy. it needs "what kind of seams are invented on this planet" energy and "im just gonna trust the audience to roll with me about this" energy. it needs one person (at least) screaming into the void with so much drive and energy that it forces the story to be real.
sometimes people are baffled when fanfic has some stunning jaw-dropping tattoo-it-on-you lines. and i'm like - well, i don't go here, but that makes sense to me. of fucking course people who have this amount of passion are going to create something good. they moved from a place of genuine love and enjoyment.
so yeah, duh! saturday cartoons have banger lines. random street art is sometimes the most precious heart-wrenching shit you've ever seen. someone singing on tiktok ends up creating your next favorite song. youtubers are giving us 5 hours of carefully researched content. all of this is the impossible equation to latestage capitalism. like, you can't force something to be good. AI cannot make it good. no amount of focus-group testing or market research. what makes a story worth listening to is that someone cares so much about telling it - through dance, art, music, whatever it takes - that they are just a little unhinged about it.
one time my friend told me he stayed up all night researching how many ways there are to peel an orange. he wrote me a poem that made me cry on public transportation. the love came through it like pith, you know? the words all came apart in my hands. it tasted like breakfast.
#warm up#writeblr#actually this is because again i don't go here#i don't read/write fanfic but i have nothing but respect for my troops#but i also have never played minecraft. im sorry. please ask me any question about pokemon tho i love that shit#anyway#out of some banal and thoughtless curiosity i watched the minecraft movie trailer#and again i know nothing about minecraft. i am aware im in an endangered population#but im watching this going: this is so fucking.... BAD#there is NO LOVE in it!#like if someone who has NO history in minecraft watches that and is like - ohhh this is soulless#WHO IS THE AUDIENCE????#ppl who love minecraft are gonna hate it!!!#at some point it's the ''mean girls musical movie'' problem --#some people will always hate the premise of what you're doing and some people will love it#make it for the ppl who love it#and usually that somewhat convinces the haters to like. chill enough to TRY it . bc it IS good#but when you try to make it for the haters..... nobody likes it. it doesn't have passion. energy. footwork#which is a small way of saying a big thing: if you love something. fucking make it and assume someone will love it too.#i love u . be brave . be bold. be in boston and come to my reading#where i wrote a really weird fucked up little book.#love u love u love u etc
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I have some questions about karaoke night, Alex Hirsch. Very Important Questions. Which I will happily scream at a poor hapless baby triangle who can have no answers for me, and possibly also does not have object permanence yet.
Follow-up that is I guess suggestive, but let's be real here, Bill's a fucking triangle:
Dude slipped right into his birthday suit, lmao
this is so stupid :D
Anyway, I don't care what anyone says, this brilliant individual knows what's up - Bill is absolutely way more of a monsterfucker than Ford could or ever will be, full stop.
#fanart#billford#bill cipher#stanford pines#gravity falls#book of bill#i watched gravity falls because i was curious about all the Toxic Old Man Yaoi on my dash and wanted context#turns out most of the context was in the book of bill tho lmao#look they either banged or married or both while drunk and i will accept no other possibilities#you don't use the phrase 'and one thing led to another' in a PRIVATE JOURNAL if what happened wasn't salacious in some way#i mean - ford didn't exactly grow up in The Most Inclusive Time Period???#dude was probably like 'gotta use this wording for plausible deniability - NO ONE can know i boinked the talking triangle'#in other news - i must bully the baby billy#don't know how much more GF stuff i'll toss up here but i have a few other little scribbles in the works. probably won't color them tho lol#also don't ask me why bill's bowtie stays where it is despite his “pants” being under it. just. just fucking don't ok???#EDIT: oh and since i see this a lot in this fandom for some reason: DO NOT REPOST THIS PLZ K THX :D
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Ruthlessness is mercy upon ourselves
#sketching my blorbo to prevent going insane haha#my friend has presented me with some epic the musical songs#that are very VERY jason coded#going insane actually#go give ruthlessness a listen i beg you#you mean to tell me that 'Cause you fight to save lives#but won't kill and don't get the job done#I mean#you totally could have avoided all this had you just killed [my son]#are you meaning to tell me thats not THEMS#change 'my son' for the joker the fucking clown whatever u get it#jason todd#red hood#dc comics#digital art#dc fanart#art#sketch#fanart#artists on tumblr
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This is petty fandom salt, BUT... I've been chewing on this phenomenon that I've been calling "Fandom's Darling". It is related to things like "Author's Darling" and "Mary Sue / Gary Stu" and "Protagonist Halo" and all that jazz, where one character gains a peculiar narrative weight in a story.
"Author's Darling" is when a writer has a favorite character, and the world and all other characters sort of get... warped to put the Darling in the spotlight. It's most noticeable in TV shows with multiple writers, when a character you personally like suddenly has their previous characterization destroyed to make another character look good somehow. Every other character might become weirdly incompetent. The Darling's feelings are treated as The Most Important Feelings in any given situation. The logic of the fictional world seems broken past suspension of disbelief in order to validate this one character's beliefs or skillset or some other fantasy. And so on.
"Fandom's Darling" is what I've been calling the pattern where a fandom essentially crowns a New Protagonist for their fanfiction stories (it's often a side character rather than the original protagonist, but it can also happen to protagonists). This character becomes the self-insert for all sorts of indulgent fantasies, gaining special powers or backstories, and/or becoming the focus of extreme whump, and/or hooking up with all the various hotties, starring in all sorts of tropey AUs, and so on. They're not always an obvious Mary Sue version of themselves, but the character's original personality and interpersonal relationships tend to get warped or dropped completely, and other characters tend to become a little flat around them. I call it "Fandom's Darling" because it's not just one self-indulgent fantasy fic (you do you! Have fun!) with characterization choices that I don't vibe with (I have neither the time nor the desire nor the authority to police anything, I am just venting), but rather a prolific mini-fandom of sorts revolving around this empty doll / fanon version of the chosen vessel character, so it becomes a little unavoidable.
I am salty about this (mildly frustrated) (imagine a soft sigh of disappointment before I just go do something else) because you are FUCKED if you actually liked the canonical version of this character and their interpersonal relationships. It's almost worse than liking an obscure character that no one cares about. There's about a thousand fics starring your fave, but maybe only about a dozen of them are actually rooted in any kind of recognisable canon.
#I didn't watch Teen Wolf but I know this happened to that Stiles character#I'm not active in any DC fandom but it looks like this happened to Tim Drake and to a lesser extent Dick and Jason#In prequels-era Star Wars it seems to be Obi-Wan; he's the spark/focus of this post here; bring back his flaws I like that he kind of sucks#sometimes a Fandom's Darling comes out of an Author's Darling! usually Fandom's are vessels to fuck the “hottest guy” available though#I will probably turn reblogs off if this spreads too far because I really don't care if people write Mary Sue fanfic; can't cast that stone#squinting at every “intersex” tag like Inigo Montoya: “I don't think that means what you think it means.”#honestly the fantasy intersex thing is a separate & more serious post; but the fandom usage is a red/yellow flag for me when searching#tossawary fandom#fandom's darling
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wanted to do my photo project this semester on the notion of mobility aids being extensions of our bodies, the yarn was done by a friend
edit: the shibari comments are one thing but if you put these non-sexual photos of me in my wheelchair on your porn blog i'm blocking you 👍🏻
#inb4 anyone says i'm a prude i literally used to sell pics so ik what i'm about#but that was done on my terms & not anyone else's#and i don't think me unintentionally evoking certain imagery w/ this means i'm 'asking for it.' thanks!#cripple punk#cpunk#photography#doll.self#college stuff#i don't like posting this here but i would also feel weird putting it on any of my other blogs.#1k#5k#10k
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True pacifist ending.
#undertale#undertale fanart#grillby#frisk#frisk undertale#im such a fake ass grillby fan i legit didn't know this mf SPOKE CANONICALLY??? EVEN IF IT WAS LIKE 2 WORDS.#anyway um i cried rivers first of all bc he spoke second of all bc i started tweaking bad#familial or genuinely good friends frisk & grillby make my day tbh i love them sm#that “good job” means sm to me DON'T EVEN JOKE BRU
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no mercy 😭
#one piece won the poll and I wanted to draw smth nice and wholesome#but I hated the perspective process and the multiple characters were a pain so where did that bring me?#that's right; perspective and multiple characters in shtpost format#don't you just love it when you put too much pressure on yourself and the way to fix that is to draw smth silly#vibrant colours go brrrr#pls trust me when I say I like sanji#I mean look at him#one piece#strawhat crew#sanji#luffy#zoro#chopper#usopp#nami#nico robin#cyborg franky#o0kawaii0o
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reblog if you think you could pull your bias if they weren't a kpop idol
#cause pls my ass could never in a billion universes pull hyunjin#or yuta#or jaemin#or hendery#okay hear me out#I don't mean me#BUT#but#I've seen so many fans that could have their bias obsessed#romantically#mel's whispers#reblog if you agree#reblog if you feel the same
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fast and furious finale perhaps?
#wild life smp#wild life fanart#life series#joel smallishbeans#he's in the car believe me#grian#fell from the tree and died haha#don't know what my thought process was#drew this the night after the finale i was barely awake#i was sad when someone was mean to joel's car(#it's a good car
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pussy from a guy who was "the weird girl" growing up
#ftm nsft#ftm breeding#ftm switch#conceptionacception#this post is lowkey about me#and I don't mean cutesy weird i mean legit weird#like would pretend to be a horse and would pretend to give birth on the playground
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can't believe that skeleman has turned on us, and Halloween Prom is tomorrow.
(what a top-tier UM...we are about to be just totally obliterated in the absolute silliest way. what possible use could this power have outside of bringing us to the brink of utter holiday disaster.)
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#lost in the book with nightmare before christmas#hajimari no halloween#unique magic posters#this was so unforseeable!#i hope malleus gets pumpkinified immediately and sebek has to carry him around on a little velvet cushion#i hope jade puts his plant knowledge to good use by being extremely judgy about the firmness of everyone's rind#i hope that everyone is still wearing their silly little hats as pumpkins#(i know they won't. but if we don't have hope we have nothing.)#and i'm still feeling like oogie's gotta show up later and menace jamil just by existing#perhaps we'll have to team up against him with the scullsman or something 👀#also just to get it out before being proven entirely wrong#my theory is still that he's from the past and we gotta teach him about the True Meaning of Halloween (aka candy and funtimes)#so he can go back to his own time and become the founder of modern-day candy and funtimes halloween or something#bootstrap paradox be damned#i could be entirely off-base but that's what i'm thinking right now#idk he just has the vibe of an old-timey boy to me#he's had the great misfortune of being born before there were hot topics where he could meet other jack skellington fanatics#too late for the black plague too early for the black parade 😔
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