#I don't like that because I believe I'm reading it wrong...

[weirdmageddon]

the original post i want everyone to see is way out of my hands now, so i’ll repost this again here as new but separate post. it touches on things i want to go into more depth about.

@wasabikitcat gets this idea. this reply—thank you so much for not just understanding what i was going for, but putting my exact thoughts into cleaner words on the bad reading comprehension site.

i can't believe how misunderstood my point was about “spirituality” (i didn’t know it was that much of a loaded phrase!), but thank you for putting what i meant into more nuanced terms.

it's something that can be hard for me to put into words, and maybe i gave people the wrong impression by using the word "spirituality", since words mean different things to different people. i just haven't seen people discussing it so i wasn't sure how to really put it. but regardless of terminology, this reply is exactly what i'm getting at. and this is coming from someone who has a very scientific mind. i wouldnt even consider myself a traditionally “spiritual” person in the normal connotation of the word.

edit: this one as well!

i see this as a cultural/political factor that we shouldn’t ignore, because this sense of meaning has driven people's motivations since the beginning of human civilization.

there's a primal aspect that hasn't really left us but there seems to be no room for it in our modern culture because half of these “guides” seem to be driven by “i cant wait for civilization to collapse so MY ideology can rise from the ashes" and the other half of it seems to be driven by greed. and often they are hand in hand.

i would really like to see actual enlightening ideas stemming from buddhist thought, analytical psychology, collective unconscious, and archetypes to take off in the public consciousness. (completely divorced from jordan peterson. just the original jungian stuff)

i am especially supportive towards getting people interested in carl jung's works. his idea was to get people to understand, "what myth am i living?" based on the same archetypes and symbols that recur time and time again throughout human history that we can all collectively recognize regardless of culture. so it's a sense of meaning based in the self. i don't want people being sent down reactionary paths when looking for meaning in their lives.

i think it would benefit people to who feel lost especially in uncertain/unprecedented times like, with those “there's got to be more to this, something deeper,” insinct. i see that people are looking for this but get taken advantage of or manipulated.

but on this deeper sense of meaning in life thing, the Left isn't doing a great job at providing an option for “lost” people looking for meaning that the Right seems to be having no trouble with. i wonder if this is why we've seen so many of these lost young men flock to reactionary commentators?

this reminds me of an excellent point contrapoints made in her video about jordan peterson, saying,

“The last thing I like is that you talk about deep shit. I was watching a video where you and a couple of zany goons were talking about Plato and Aristotle and the meaning of life. And I thought, ‘Huh… on the Left, we don’t really talk about that kind of thing. All we talk about is how society oppresses people.’ And that might not be enough. Because people need to have a positive purpose in life. I mean, personally, I don’t give a shit. I’m pretty happy to sit here watching the same three seasons of Strangers with Candy until I die. But other people, like Dostoevsky, Camus, other white guys who talk about lobsters…they have this need to have purpose in the face of suffering, and like, not just complain about patriarchy. I guess it’s easier to not complain about patriarchy when patriarchy isn’t the thing that’s making you suffer. But I do think that an education that only teaches people about oppression is inadequate. We spend four years teaching undergraduates why capitalism is bad, and then we say, ‘Well, you’re educated now. Good luck getting a job under capitalism, bye!’ …And that really kind of sucks! But you know, I think that’s a point that can probably be made without comparing transgender activism to Stalin.”

speaking of her, this is a related post i wrote earlier on young men being radicalized and how to approach communication

and by the way, if you are interested in learning jungian psychology and want to see what it’s about, here are some resources to get you started:

i think the jung subreddit has a great collection of resources on its about page.

i highly recommend Demystifying Jungian Psychology to start. it’s meant for beginners. it is available in english and spanish. you can currently find the book in the comments section here. since sometimes these links lead to a 404, i don’t want to link directly to the google drive page. i want you to have a link to the original thread in case it gets broken.

[certifiedsexed]

I'm not sure where else to ask this but it seemed like an alright place. I believe something is wrong with me as I don't want to have sex. Or do anything even remotely sexual. I see posts and comments all the time of people talking about people and sometimes characters and how attractive and hot they are, but I just don't get it. I want to fall in love, and date and do all those romantic things. But I do not want to have sex, ever, and I feel like maybe I'm broken? Sex is always talked about around me as something everyone wants and will do one day, but it simply makes me feel sick and grossed out. Even the idea of masturbating grosses me out, it's sexual and I don't seem to like anything sexual at all. Although I live in a very small town, is it different in other places?

I've tried reading and watching, I've even watched stuff with just women in it! I tried masturbating but didn't get very far before feeling nauseous, I simply don't want to do anything sexual. It's very confusing and scary for me, I mentioned it to my mother and she said "You'll want it eventually, you just need to find what you like" but I never have and don't think I ever will. I've explored many different things but I always feel bored and put off at best, disgusted at worse. I don't care if others have sex, I'm not negative like that, I just don't want to ever be involved in it. Do you know what might be wrong with me? I don't want to bring it up to anyone again because they always look at me like something is wrong with me

- Rose

Hi, Rose! This is definitely a fine place to ask. (I love your name, btw.)

Let me start with saying there is absolutely nothing wrong with you for not wanting to have sex or do anything sexual. You don't have to have sex or be sexually attracted to other people. There's a name for that: it's called asexuality and its actually pretty common.

Not everyone has sex or "eventually wants sex". That's a very out-dated myth that has never been true.

I'd recommend looking for groups or even just researching asexuality online, Rose. There are so many other asexual people throughout the world and I think it'd be good for you to read/look into information on other people like you!

You don't have to force yourself to like sexual things. You can't force your sexuality to change. Especially if it's making you feel ill and you don't want to do it, that's not something you should be forcing yourself into just because others have told you that you should. There is no should with your sexuality.

Your mother is actually wrong. Not everyone likes sex! There's literally a sexuality for people who lack or experience varied sexual attraction [which is what you're talking about]: asexuality. There's also a word for the nausea and dislike you're talking about surrounding sexual things: sex repulsion.

You don't have to keep exploring things that make you feel ill. It's okay just to search out the things you actually enjoy or look forward to, like a romantic partner or even just focus less on sexuality itself and enjoy your life without trying to fix yourself.

There's nothing wrong with you, Rose. I'm sorry no one has been kind and taken you seriously but you're not broken or needing to wait for your sexuality to "kick in", your sexuality is fine as is.

I hope this helps! Let me know if you have any other questions, Rose. <33

[everlastingdream]

Part 1 - Part 6 - Part 7

"Look, it's not like I didn't believe you, but woah", Winn said, gaping. Alex silently nodded in agreement.

"Thank you all for helping me", Lena smiled warmly, still a bit shy now that everyone suddenly saw her.

"Em, yeah, sorry, Lena, there is a catch", Winn winced, rubbing back of his head sheepishly. "We kinda can't hear you. Because you speak so quietly that only Kara's ears can catch it, so if I make you loud enough for us..."

Lena tilted her head, thinking for a bit. She signaled Kara to relay her words.

"But it's not like all sounds are deafening for Kara", it was strange to talk about herself like that, "So it means there is some biological adjustments for her hearing".

"Of course, but I didn't want fo experiment with something that could potentially end very bad".

Lena and Winn traded ideas back and forth, already creating precautions, when Alex interrupted them, looking amused.

"Sorry to stop you both from nerding out but J'onn said we can just talk in the red lamp room. It will solve all your problems, no?"

Two geniuses meekly nodded.

"This way, miss Luthor". J'onn smiled and gestured to the coridor.

/ / / / / / / / /

Winn (with Lena right behind his shoulder) inserted some new parameters into his tablet, once they settled in the red sun lamps' room. And when he nodded to Lena, she said tentatively:

"Thank you all for your help", she smiled.

"I'm glad to help fellow genius", Winn happily answered. "Now we just need to..."

"Find my body, yes", Alex and Winn winced. Kara stared at the floor, trying not to see Lena's face, as she was talking about it.

"Yes, that. But we need to do one very important thing first".

Everyone glanced at each other with confusion. J'onn seemed to know what's that already, but he still looked relaxed, so Kara and Alex just waited till Winn's desire for dramatics was satisfied.

"We need to introduce ourselves!" Lena laughed, and wobbled in the air a little. It seemed that being visible didn't take away her ghostly powers. And while Winn was listing all his accomplishments, Kara found herself thinking.

Lena looked much more real now. Even without her powers Kara could see tiny freckles lining up on the side of her neck. Red lamps gave her green eyes mysterious glow, making Lena look ephemeral in a way that didn't have anything with the her status of a ghost.

It pained Kara so much to see her like that. Like she would be soft and warm to the touch, like she could really hug Kara or pat her cheek, like they need to just save her and not to retrieve her body.

Still Kara couldn't help but reach out hoping against everything that the fact that everyone can see Lena meant she can touch her.

When her hand went right through the edge of Lena's jacket, Kara tried very hard to hide her disappointment, but she still caught J'onn's sympathetic smile.

"So... You are the woman my sister is seeing", Alex asked strictly, and Lena chocked on the words she exchanged with Winn.

"I- Well, technically... I guess I am..?" It was adorable to see Lena suddenly fumbling with words, and Kara decided to play the knight despite her own embarrassment.

"Alex", she shook her head, exasperated. "Don't mess with Lena".

"What? She is," Alex shrugged, but finally smiled. "It's not like I said anything wrong. And here you are, already nagging me".

"This is Agent Danvers, Supergirl's foster sister", J'onn intervened, when Kara opened her mouth to bicker. "We are currently in DEO, department of extra-normal operations. And I am its Director - J'onn J'onzz."

"It's good to meet you, sir", Lena nodded.

"Likewise. I promise, that DEO will do everything to secure your body and will protect it until we can hand it over to miss Arias".

"I... appreciate it."

Room grew somber. When Winn's tablet chimed, he scattered to read it, if only to avoid awkward atmosphere.

"Miss Arias send us the information".

"It was fast", Alex said, already scanning the data from behind his shoulder.

"Well, she had a password. I will put it over our map".

They gathered around small tablet, looking at the area north of National city. Lena's coordinats, the green dot on the screen, was constantly changing as the map adjusted, only to stop right above the red mark.

"It's a Cadmus base", J'onn said grimly and stood up, already giving out commands to the agents by his communication device.

"This one is Lilian Luthor's", Alex sighed and joined her director in getting ready. They didn't seem hurried, since they will have to wait until Kara restores her powers.

"I guess she's one of my relatives?" Lena asked carefully.

"Your adoptive mother, to be precise", Winn was already putting dossier up front.

He started to recount his files to Lena, but Kara, tense after mention of Cadmus and as attuned to Lena as she is, felt that something was wrong.

Lena was pale. She always had a bit of white hue when Kara was the only one to see her, but now even with Winn's invention she was almost transperent.

"It's her. This is the woman I talked with, when my car crushed". Lena's voice was detached and angry, her hands clenched. When she turned to look at Kara, her voice cracked in the middle. "She wanted to kill me".

[greenknighteitm]

Edited: to @holycrapitis i'm going into this with the Idea that Trump is guilty. I am interested in this evidence you say that exists of him not doing these crimes and the evidence of democrat crimes. I will be honest to you, I will fact check it, because of the rampant propaganda everywhere, rMost(I don't think any but I could be wrong. Im being lazy and not reading to make sure) of it directed at you isn't about the charges.

It seems like it's a confusing mess of policies... It seems a felon would need a waiver, not sure how one would get one. But it seems likely a waiver wouldn't work with how many felonies he has, tho I can't say I'm terribly informed on the exact charges to say that with certainty since this was just a quick google.

I would tend to agree with this person but as far as I know people used maruijana could be felons and I don't think those people should be disqualified depending on their other qualites.

Like I think this blank kind of statement does a lot of harm to minorites, which isn't that the kind of thing leftists, even democrats, are trying to avoid?

But it's possible that Trump is legally not allowed for different reasons, I wish it said what ones.

So onto the person I reblogged from.

The majority of people who voted probably aren't Communists, like the cold war propaganda is still very much in effect. And kamala definitely isn't, especially economically, and generally I don't think politicians Democrats are communist and are probably mostly still running on the ideas of the cold war. Theres definitely some outliers who are closer but definitely no elected.

And as the past shows, communists aren't necessarily going to be socially leftist (equality for all, in everything, raise people and lower people to become equal, etc . Because a lot of people who are rich become rich of the exploitation of others. We should give the value back to those who are exploited.) And I'm sure there's people on the social left who think kamala still isnt far enough, which might be.

Hmm there's got to be some words to define socially left other then being equal...

Anyways people know Trump was legally elected, but legal doesnt mean good. As far as I know, which to be fair isn't much, in the echo chambers who want trump to be president the idea was that trump was elected but was illegally changed. But I'm not in those circles so it's possible another narrative was that he would've if Democrats didnt make the votes turn their way, in legal ways.

AFAIK which honestly isn't much again since scrolling down theories on why we lost is psychlogically damaging no matter what side it is or even what it is I think

The theories I have heard say that Republicans gerry mandered the hell out of counties to get the results we got. But idk if that's an actual theory because then leftists are just being hypocrites(which I feel can be a good reaction if you feel like your in danger) about the electoral college since in the situation where its just Gerrymander at fault Trump would have still have the popular vote. So I think a more reasonable theory would be it had an effect, but not to the point where kamala won. The biggest effect was propaganda, in all of its forms. Even from people who don't know they are. If it's content showing a specific opinion, it's propaganda to someone. To educate you need good faith back to back conversation and research between people. At least in my opinion. With that definition intent definitely matters IMO since like an ad is explicit propaganda while a lot of content is implicit propaganda.

TBH I'm not liking this narrative that people who voted for Trump understand the consequences and believe the same things Trump does. Especially if they were like me and tuned out politics when he was elected like I did with biden, which I'm ashamed about. There's too many variables for me to believe that they all hold the same beliefs as trump.

Hold some of them? Believe lies about about both? Both? All the above? Yeah, sure. But I think it's crucial to not stereotype people who think different. It allows for dehumanization I feel which won't help us to grow this nation and have its citizens mature. Not to say the country is immature, in the traditional sense, where I think thats viewed as a bad thing, more that there's more progress to be made and when we think more globally, we realize there's so much more room to grow.

Want to say thanks to @holycrapitis for catching my attention and getting some of my thoughts together. I think when something like this happens, where the candidate you wanted to win doesn't, it activates the same emotions as grief does. So I've kinda been avoiding the topic. I'm sorry to those who were on the other side and got hurt even more by those who won while you were grieving four years ago no matter how much I disagree with you and how much I think these beliefs will hurt this country and my friends and family.

Its a shame I don't see this kind of empathy more. We should always start with this kindness. But it's what tribalism does. It dehumanizes the "them" and says its for the good of all, that it is justified, etc. Its never justified. It only hurts everyone.

[watermelon-jooce]

OKAY dont flame me for this, but heres a Saiki K hot take that I think shoukd be talked about more.

I feel like people REALLY have to start taking what Kuusuke did to Toritsuka more seriously, because its pretty bad the more you think about it.

⚠️Large TW for emotional manipulation and gr00ming undertones. ⚠️

(‼️if you're gonna debate please read all first‼️)

I can't find the specific panels, but what Kuusuke did to Toritsuka was taking advantage of him, he pried on his insecurities.

Kuusuke was seen telling Toritsuka how much "better" he is than Kusuo, how he has better powers, how he should be put on a pedestal instead of stupid old Kusuo.

Toritsuka is seen before hand disliking his own powers. He want's more from them, he wants them to be less useless. Kuusuke knows this, because Toritsuka is honest and probably told him.

Instead of offering help, he pried in on that insecurity. By telling Toritsuka that he's better than Kusuo, that he's more important, Toritsuka was drawn in so quickly. He'd never really been told or praised for his power before, most people not believing him for being a Medium or others saying his powers are useless.

When Toritsuka was finally told by Kuusuke that he was better, that someone finally believed he was better than the person he always compared himself to.

Toritsuka seems easily impressionable, we don't get to see his father much if at all, and we haven't heard about his mother at all. Im assuming he lives in the temple with little to zero family, being raised by the temple instead of his own parents.

He probably lacked good life lessons, Toritsuka always goes to others for help, he begs because its all he most likely knows how to do.

Kuusuke knows this, and he uses it against him. He knows Toritsuka has a grudge against Kusuo for his powers, he knows Toritsuka is insecure about his own, he knows Toritsuka is vunerable with this information.

And what does he do? He emotionally manipulates Toritsuka into helping him attack Kusuo with the Cat Tank.

Yeah, you could be thinking, well Kuusuke is a bad person mostly in a whole(I could go on and on about why he is the way he is), and that he's bound to manipulate others into doing what he wants, but when you really think about it, Kuusuke is an 19/20 year old adult that took advantage of a 16 year old kid.

Could it be considered that Kuusuke technically groomed Toritsuka? Grooming is not always 'adult takes advantage of a child for something explicit', grooming can be taking advantage of a child for something in return. It's not always for the other, much worse, option, I'm not saying Kuusuke is a kiddy diddler, im saying he groomed Toritsuka to get what he wanted, which was to attack Kusuo.

I have seen someone talk about this before, I can't remember who but someone had mentioned the gravity of it and the strange undertones of what Kuusuke did to Toritsuka, finding a child and taking advantage of his insecurities to get what he wants through emotional manipulation.

I know you could say that 'Kuusuke is about only 19/20, he's not much older than Toritsuka who is 16/17' But that is heavily, heavily besides the point. The point is that Kuusuke is still an adult. Kuusuke is known to be one of the smartest people to live. Toritsuka is a child, and Toritsuka is still in school.

Again, please understand I'm not saying Kuusuke is a kiddy diddler. I don't want people to flame me for 'thinking that.' Kuusuke obviously has a lot of problems of his own, and emotional manipulation is something he is used to doing and probably doesn't even realise he's doing it because it helps him get what he wants.

I can see how its just emotional manipulation, and I am willing to hear anybody out on this and debate(politely), and if i'm wrong I will admit I am wrong.

But AGHH this has really been eating at my brain. Kuusuke manipulating Toritsuka using his insecurities and stuff to get what he wants is just super weird to me. Kuusuke is obviously a more creepy character, and I believe if the anime were more serious it would play a lot more on that fact.

But yeah, this is what I believe what happened. Again, its a really heavy topic so if you guys wanna tell me im wrong you can tell me im wrong and I will hear you out. I was just thinking about it and after seeing one person mention it a while back its been in the back of my mind for a while.

Not saying its wrong to love Kuusuke, I know the fandom is split on him. I personally don't care about whether someone loves him or not, cause one side you can say he got his freak off to his brother, but the other side says he was just excited and not doing anything weird. Kuusuke is a really interesting character and I really wanna do a big essay on him like this soon.

But yeah thats all I had to say, just remember if you guys wanna tell me im wrong you can tell me im wrong and I will hear you out.

(can you guys tell i dont wanna be destroyed)

[th3-c0ll3ct3r]

Docm77 as well as MANY other have fallen face first into this media-related ragebait and I'm here to explain why you shouldn't be mad at Doc/be upset but not "wish ill things on your child" upset, which yes. I did see. Shame on you person. Shame.

Ahem.

So upon waking up in the UK/Europe, we didn't necessarily have the build up to the presidential election due to timezone conflictions, so for many people (myself include) 6am to 9am we woke up to Trumps victory speech on the trending tab. I'm not joking, that's how people going out and how I found out

There have been a mixed bag of reaction but Doc is getting hate for saying, and I quote "Lol... Really USA? This is what I wake up to?"

Alot of people say this was insensitive, and excuse my language and I don't mean to upset, it's because they're Americans and (again apologies) Americans have been socialised into to being quite emotional about politics and read into everything that happens regarding it. Which is something that the rest of the world kinda looks down on America for, because it makes you look like 'cultist' (this isn't my viewpoint however we do discuss this alot in certain class and this is how other people see you)

Doc's reaction is not trying being insensitive, because to literally anyone else it's a reaction of speechlessness and confusion. Which the majority of people saw it as.

Because we all woke up to that.

Doc isn't trying to be insensitive, but I do understand why people think he's being insensitive, his confusion and speechlessness is being written off as dismissive.

People are saying the word 'lol' is worth cursing at his family over

1. That's not tolerated here. Don't be sending threats or harassing him.

2. Lol, has cultural differences in meaning.

In the US countries, it means 'haha funny!' or it can be a dismissive reply (in text format)

But in other countries, lol, is also used as a 'your joking right?' or 'pretty funny joke'. An example being 'lol what?' (funny joke, but what does it mean)

Many people think the lol is dismissive but it's not. He, along with many other actually didn't believe Trump had won yet and learnt about it in the worst way possible

Secondily he made a comment about dealing with "another 4 years of insanity" which people also thought was rude.

But sadly, it's actually true to alot of people outside the US. We only see the "funny" or mildly annoying bits of your media (because of filters and blockers) and sadly, I'll admit we don't know the full picture other than the Americans insanity over politics

It's literally what your known for in the UK.

So the '4 years of insanity' is definitely an exaggeration but is definitely true in some way. We get the bud of all the "Americans drama" and it's mostly the insane stuff, heck that's how flordia man and ohio became memes. So it's not unrealistic for us to see the next year's as insanity because it is. Just very dramatised

Also quick point, people are saying that because of this he doesn't support the LGBTQIA+ and to that I say; Rendog + his entire fanbase respectfully

Now the big boy issue. Doc said he won't talk about politics and Palestine yet talked about politics now? Why?

Why didn't Doc talk about Palestine?

And for similar reasons as to why alot of other people didn't talk about it, including myself. Not out of fear or something. It's because of the scams.

Being "late" to new media is frustrating especially when it comes to supporting people, and genuinely by the time I heard about Palestine I saw the scams first.

Doc HAS a younger audience demographic, who are more likely to get scammed because they do look very realistic and they even have fake followers and everything.

Why not get one from a reliable source? Well what is a reliable source? Because if something goes wrong people will blame you because you endorsed them.

Why not go to charities? Sadly their are now currently many scummy charities that do take alot of the donation percentage. (including some gofundme pages)

So to address this, Doc just didn't address it. And YES he admittedly should have explained why, instead of leaving it up to people to infer because as we can see, some people took it the wrong way. And I can see how they took it the wrong way, he didn't communicate it very well.

But to me and many others, the intentions were clear and that's why their were no comments made. However I do believe he shouldn't have used the excuse about not wanting to talk about politics, because that does have consequences long-term. And that why I'm here today

And this brings me to my final point.

People are forcing opinions out of other people and when their opinions don't aline they get mad about it. So to avoid this people either refuse to comment or have their own methods of tackling it or simply blurt it out because of pressure.

A modern example of this would be Kim. K and her son (ik shocking). Her son talked about supporting Trump and she got mad about it, told him to take down the videos and allegedly made him sign a contract saying to never make a video about politics.

Kim. K is actively avoiding being pressured into speaking by not responding and keeping it in.

However, another example of this would be Vivziepop. Due to recent events regarding her shows being leaked and the recent elections that damaged the integrity of women's rights and healthcare, she broke down on twitter.

Letting some of her frustrations spill out. This was encouraged by people personal targeting her, and basically harassing her to the point of breaking down.

These same types of people are trying to do the same to people like Aismey, Doc and even Jimmy Solidaritygaming because of thier social media presence, and when they have a reaction but then change their opinion it's suddenly a "well you didn't say that before!"

So to be clear, the circumstances of Docm77 is brought upon by miscommunication and ragebaiting. Dont go and threaten his family, voice your concerns respectfully in this troubling time (even if you're frustrated, you should project that onto someone else)

IF YOU SEE ANYONE RAGEBAITING REPORT IT

And have a good night ya'll

[megtheerapscallion]

There's a post a radfem made a while ago that went something along the lines of, "When will you peak woman?" Which sounds inflammatory, at first, but I remember reading more of her blog and her point was that there's nothing wrong with resenting or even hating that women perpetuate abuse and, like you said, set their daughters up for trauma that the patriarchy enforces. There are women who will defend rapists, never believe their daughters, will give their sons every benefit in the world...

My point, this is such an important topic to bring up. Sometimes I'll say I can't stand straight women because I see situations where they put their attraction to men before their own daughters and it's so common there's so much evil in some women and I'm not going to sit here and act like they don't have any control over it. They simply choose their own egos over anything else.

radblr can hate me but my priority will always be daughters

[justchillandshipit]

Allow me to take a moment here. Tim just acknowledged couch theory?

Moving on to Buck and Tommy’s breakup, talk about your approach to it. Why was Tommy sure that Buck would break his heart?

Tommy’s older and Buck is very new to this, and whether Tommy was correct or not, I think what he felt like was exactly what he said: I’m not your last, I’m your first, which is a special thing to be, but as Tommy says, it doesn’t usually end up being the same thing. And I think based on what we know of Buck, he’s maybe not wrong. Buck’s a little impulsive when he’s feeling a certain kind of way. He’s like, move on in, bring your couch. So I just think because Tommy’s a little older and wiser or maybe at some level he feels like he doesn’t deserve Buck, I don’t know. But I think he accurately diagnosed Buck. Buck’s still figuring himself out, and boy, that would be quite risky to move in with that guy as much as you would love to.

---

We have a couch reference.

---

Somewhat unrelated but relevant:

I also think that I have finally caught up on all the articles. In every article, someone says Eddie is straight. I want to say about four articles have a reference or a mention of straight Eddie, and there is one in-canon statement from Eddie. So what do we think about that? I instinctively want to say that to have that many denials is sus, but I also have to acknowledge that the question was asked before the response was offered. I honestly don't know what to believe when it comes to the show's direction. I'm still here though and sticking with my original plan to give them until the end of Seasn 8 to move Eddie out of the closet. I will not accept the demise of this ship a moment sooner. It doesn't help that actors are excellent liars. Oliver always makes me second guess myself. lol For now, I'm still here and still clowning.

Other things to consider in favor of Buddie:

There was one article from TVInsider where the interviewer reminded the reader that Eddie said he wanted a beard. Most of us know the gay coding of that word, and that was promptly followed by the Priest pointing out that Eddie was wearing a mask. This is all within the same conversation where Eddie assumed the Priest was hitting on him, and he called himself straight.

I'm also low-key wondering about the possible conflict between Eddie and Buck coming up. I need more info on that. What?? These two haven't had beef since Buck sued Bobby in Season 3 and Buck and Eddie agued in the grocery store. We all know how Eddie served c#nt like a professional in that fight. Eddie ended up forgiving Buck soon afterward, but Buck was still apologizing four episodes later. lol

I saw in another post where someone compared the image of Eddie in the confessional with the image of Eddie seeing Buck through the peephole of his door. (Hint, both looked like confessional images.) That has to be deliberate.

Tim's comment above referenced Tommy and a couch in a similar context to Eddie and Buck's conversation when Buck said his last few couches came with girlfriends, and Eddie corrected him to say his girlfriends came with couches.

@stagefoureddiediaz 's color theory is still proving accurate as well.

Updates

Buck looking less than thrilled at seeing Laker tickets. Tommy tells him he can use the gift with Eddie and Buck perking up at the idea, only for Tommy to say nope. Joking. (On a second watch, I think I read too much in to this one, but I'm keeping it on the list as very loose interpretation.)

Oliver admits that Buck looked Eddie up and down when he opened the door and knew something was going on with him, but then the whole sit in silence thing. (I know the breakup was on Buck's mind, but I swear he looked like he was trying not to think about Eddie being half naked beside him.)

Also, Eddie was half naked just sitting beside him. I can't help but think of them sitting there like that. Buck and Eddie are going to the same place, but they are taking totally different paths to get there. At some point, they are going to meet each other face to face and be like, you're here.

(I saw a theory. You always have to take these with a grain of salt, but I can't deny the theory sounds good. there have been a lot of parallels that are relevant for Buck and Eddie with the exception of Eddie's shooting.) I did read one interview, it may have been TVInsider, where the interviewer said they hoped Buck wouldn't be in danger. Oliver hinted that Buck was always putting himself in those situations. I think it might be a hint for what is to come. Also, if Buck is putting himself in dangerous situations again, this might be something that has Eddie angry with Buck. I think there is a lot of room for this theory. We'll have to wait and see on that one.

In a previous interview, Oliver told us there was an upcoming scene where Buck and Eddie sat in silence and that it was a testament to their friendship. In the latest interview in Variety, he talks about the scene again but this time he says "that it speaks volumes about their relationship that they could be going through things and handling it so differently but still be there for each other with little need for words. (This is the same interview where Oliver admits that Buck looked Eddie up and down.) At the end of this question, he reiterates that it speaks volumes that they were in different places and could still be there for each other. He says, "I think it really speaks volumes to the strength of their bond."

[eggyolkguzzler]

May I ask Alex's opinion on Elliott?

I'm super duper curious because it just popped into my head ⊂((・▽・))⊃

He's... Whatever, I guess.

We barely even talk to each other. Why should I care?

...

Ugh. Sorry. That came out wrong. He's fine. He's just-

Nevermind. Forget it. Don't tell him I said anything.

Gripping my desk so hard the wood splinters. Listen. Listen to me. I've put so much thought into the Alex Elliott dynamic. You have no fucking idea.

I think Alex would have very very complicated feelings about Elliott. He sees this beach boy who's dashingly handsome, muscular, AND intelligent? Alex would lose his mind.

In a bad way.

At first it's just petty jealousy. Alex grew up around a lot of very competitive men fighting to be the best, so of course Alex has the most fragile ego known to mankind. He keeps telling himself "At least I'm cooler" or "I have a nicer tan than he does anyways" or "Who even wears trenchcoats?"

All this pent up emotion bubbles into anger. But Alex doesn't want to be a dick. He doesn't want to be a bully. So he does his best to avoid talking to Elliott in general. At festivals, he'll only glance at Elliott to acknowledge he's there. He dreads the thought of saying hello to him.

Elliott, bless him, doesn't realize this young man is riddled with envy just a few feet away.

Eventually, they finally meet for realsies. They talk at length for the first time. Alex feels his stomach churn, because he finally realizes that Elliott is genuinely nice to talk to. He's kind. He's considerate. He's perfect.

He's so, so perfect.

At the end of their conversation, Elliott politely bids Alex farewell. He expresses how nice it is to finally have a pleasant chat with him, as he's been craving one for a while.

This sends Alex into a spiral immediately.

He doesn't even say goodbye. He just goes home.

Alex gets to his room and throws the BIGGEST tantrum.

"How!? How can he be so FUCKING perfect? It's not FAIR. It's not FAIR. He can't be handsome, nice, and SMARTER THAN I AM. HE JUST CAN'T. IT'S NOT FAIR."

After exerting all his energy, and letting all his anger out, Alex crawls into bed and starts to cry. He cries because he's been such an ass for no good reason. He doesn't hate Elliott. He only hates himself. Just for being imperfect.

"Why can't I be like him? What am I missing? What am I doing wrong? What's wrong with me?"

.

.

.

.

.

I do think, with enough patience, Alex and Elliott could be friends. They could hang out at the beach together, and Elliott could get Alex to beta read his books to see how bearable they are for disabled/dyslexic readers. Their friendship could be really sweet and wholesome.

But it would take some time to get there.

I believe it can happen <3

[dsireland86]

Hi am sorry for Bothering you but can you do one of nick Folio and he and yn Has been married for long time and he noticed something off and she wakes up In the middle of the night because of pts dreams of sexual assault and he comfort her

First, you're never a bother for putting a request in, no matter how many times. (don't get me wrong, there are limits and lines not to reach or cross) This is a good one. I had a friend who had to deal with something like this and her boyfriend was her biggest support. As a victim of sexual assault myself, I know what it feels like.

There are warnings with this one, so if anyone still deals with trauma, please don't read.

18+ below the cut

You're Safe Now

Tags: @philomenie @supersquirrel1996 @foliosgirl @angelmarie89 @fadingintothegrey @theanarchymuse95 @thisbicc @lma1986 @dominuslunae @shayzillaaaa @fadingintothegrey @an0mallly @alwaysfightforwhoyouare @mrsnoahsebastian @flowery-mess @iloveyoutodeathbutimdrowning @stardustsirenmelody @romanreigns-supreme @anything-more-than-human @into-the-grey @rumoured-whispers

The dreams were always the same. The results were always the same; sitting straight up in bed, cold sweats, crying, shaking, the whole deal.

She's had them ever since I married her two years ago. The first night it happened, it really rattled me. She wouldn't let me touch her, only huddled up and cried until she fell back asleep. I tucked her in and curled up beside her, watching her eyes flutter beneath her closed eyelids. When morning came, she didn’t remember what happened; at least that’s what she said. 

This went on for some time. I never asked questions, I was just there. Eventually, she allowed me to touch her; small circles on her back, caressing the back of her hair, until she would fall over and into my lap and fall back asleep. It was a small step, but a great improvement.

After about a year into our marriage, though, things took a turn. Our sex life started to shift. She was no longer into it, excited about it or needing it like I was. I felt horrible each time I tried to get her in the mood or aroused. She would make excuses or purposely make herself unavailable.

Some nights, it felt forced, but she was never mean about it. She would tell me she was doing it for me and that her disinterest in it didn't mean she didn't love me. I believed her, but it hurt just the same. I tried to be understanding as best as I could, but at the same time, my heart was hurting.

I begged her to open up and talk to me, to let me in and help, but she wouldn't. So, I took a step back with hope that eventually she'd open up to me, but when that moment came, what she confessed was not at all what I was prepared to hear, but it made sense and everything about her, between us, became clearer.

She gasped and sat up in bed, soaked in a cold sweat. At first, she didn't know where she was. Through the dark, she felt around her as if searching for something or someone, sighing when she finally felt it.

Folio stirred in his sleep, turning over instantly the moment he felt her hand on his back and the soft whispers of his name.

"Nick, wake up, please," she nudged him gently.

"I am, sweetheart, I'm awake," he said sleepily. "What's wrong?"

Folio sat up and turned on the bedside lamp, quickly turning back to his wife, who was sitting with her knees pulled up into her, shivering. He caressed her back gently, just like many times before, feeling utterly exhausted. Folio sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Nick, we need to talk."

"Okay, sure. What about?"

She turned to him, tears streaming down her face.

"About my past."

Folio sat the cup of tea down carefully on the table in front of her. The steam coming off of it was clearly visible as she thanked him, then wrapped her hands around the hot mug, sighing and closing her eyes in relief from the warmth.

He sat there quietly, watching her intently, wondering what it was about her past that could be so important. She cleared her throat and finally met Nick's gaze, eyes already swelling up with tears.

Her heart was breaking over how badly she'd been treating him, knowing that none of what happened to her years ago was his her husband's fault. And yet, despite how horrible she felt she'd been to him, he stayed by her, supporting and loving her.

"Nick, I'm sorry. I've been so unfair to you the past few months. I've... I've denied you things that, as my husband, are rightfully yours, and you've never once questioned me or pushed me away. Why?"

Folio scratched his nose and rubbed his jaw, trying to find the words that would make sense to her.

"I love you. I made promises to you. Till death do us part, right," he chuckled, smiling lightly at her. "You're my person, babe," he reached over and took her hand, which she gladly gave him.

Taking a deep breath, she relaxed a little, confident that Nick was going to be understanding about what she was about to tell him.

"Talk to me, sweetheart. I'm here. I'm not going anywhere."

"Two years before we met, I had this group of friends; three guys and two girls. It was a summer thing, you know the kind where it’s the last summer of high school together before graduation and you wanted it to be a summer to remember, kind of thing. We hung out every chance we got. Two of them were somewhat couples. They made out, had sex, you know, did all the normal teenage stuff. I wasn't like that, I was too shy and uncomfortable with myself, my body, and so inexperienced that I just kept to myself in those awkward moments."

Glancing at her husband, she gave him a half-hearted smile as he reached over and wiped away the single tear that slid down her cheek.

"My, my look how far you've come, my little mouse," Folio grinned. “Not so inexperienced now, are you?”

His pet name for her lightened her heart to the point that she got up and sat in his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him.

"I've missed you."

"I know. I'm sorry. I know you don't understand."

Folio brushed stray hairs out of her face.

"Then help me understand. Keeping going."

"Okay, so one night while our other friends were doing what they were doing, the other guy in our group, the one that I wasn't the most familiar with, began to notice me. He made some passes at me and made me feel at ease. I was so vulnerable and didn't know anything about guys, so when he told me I was pretty, that I had so much to offer guys, I believed him."

She paused, lowering her head. Folio was starting to catch on.

"Did he hurt you?"

"...Yes."

"Fuck," Folio sighed. "For how long?"

"... ... ... the remaining three weeks of summer break."

Folio clenched his jaw, shaking his head.

"Did he rape you?"

"No... at least I don't think so."

Folio took her by the shoulders, staring her hard in the eyes.

"What do you mean you don't think so?"

She shrugged.

"He touched me, made me do things to him, and if I did well, he'd reward me."

Folio ran his hand down his face, trying to reel in his anger.

“What a sick piece of shit. Did he fuck you without your consent?"

She was quiet, unable to look at him now. She was terrified that her husband was angry with her for hiding this, for holding back on telling him.

"One night, we had all been drinking way too much. I remember I was so dizzy that I literally fell into the couch at the place we were hanging out at. All I remember is being picked up and laid back down. I woke up the next morning in just my panties and shirt. "

By now, she was crying. It was one thing to say it to herself, in her mind, but it was another thing to finally confess it all out in the open.

Folio pulled his wife into his chest, holding tightly close. The fact that the whole time they'd been dating and married, she carried this burden around with her, completely and utterly alone. It broke his heart that the girl he was madly in love with had to suffer that way in silence because of fear.

"What triggered all of this; the dreams, the ptsd from all of that mess?"

"I saw him. It was about a month and a half ago. He's married, too, and has two kids. He looked right at me and either didn't recognize me or pretended not to know me. It's like he saw right through me. I can't explain how it made me feel, Nick. It broke me."

More tears fell, and she was trembling, not from the cold, but from the stress of it all. Her crying turned into silent sobs, and her shoulders shook as she bent over in the chair, dropping her head into her hands.

It all made sense to Folio now, piecing together the details, and when she started acting so strange. She'd been triggered by the memories that she'd worked so hard to suppress and forget about through the years since it all happened, and it affected her in ways she never expected. She was a ticking time bomb to a mental breakdown.

Folio dropped to his knees in front of her, placing his hands gently on the sides of her legs. He sat there for a moment, not knowing what to say at first. He just laid his forehead against her knees, listening to her cry out her pain. After a few moments, he looked up after she'd grown quiet.

"Baby, look at me."

She raised her eyes, looking at her husband through blurry eyes. There he was, the only man that mattered, the only man who truly loved her for her, no matter her past.

Folio's eyes darted between his wife's as she stared back at him. The past was the past, yes, but what was the reason why she pushed him away?

"Why didn't you ever tell me?"

"I don't know. I guess all I wanted to do was forget about it, and I suppose for a long time I did. The past was the past; I couldn't change any of it."

She wiped her eyes, taking a deep breath and exhaling slowly.

"I'm sorry for hurting you, Nick. I'm sorry I pushed you away and made you feel unloved. I never meant to. I was just scared."

Folio's brows creased as he frowned in confusion.

"Scared of what?"

"That you'd be upset with me for keeping something like that from you, or that you wouldn't understand, or that you'd tell me it's what I deserved because of the scenario I put myself in. I was a stupid, naive kid. I didn't know any better."

Folio shook his head, rising up on his knees, taking her face in his hands.

"That's what your dad and brother did to you, isn't it? They didn't really believe you."

She nodded, tearing up again.

Folio's heart sank. He clenched his jaw to suppress his anger.

"Sweetheart, listen to me. What happened to you was not your fault, do you understand me? It wasn't your fault. That piece of shit deserves to burn in fucking hell for what he did to you.

I would never, in a million years, say anything like what your dad and brother said. They were wrong; so wrong. They should have defended you, protected you, and I'm so sorry that they didn't."

Folio choaked up, trying to hold back his tears. He pulled his wife into him, gathering her up in his arms and holding her as close to him as possible. She clung to him, burying her face in the side of his neck, finally feeling secured wrapped up in the arms of the man who promised to love her forever.

"You're safe now, baby; I promise you. No one's gonna ever hurt you like that again."

Pulling away from her, Folio brushed the hair out of her face and kissed her.

"You believe me, right?"

"Yes. I believe you," she nodded, giving him a small smile.

He held her again, and she gratefully allowed him to, both of them finally feeling the peace they'd been craving for. 

[perpetualprocrastinationisme]

So, I'm only replying like this in a reblog because I want this all to be in one place and not broken up in a bunch of different comments.

But this post is, firstly, a joke and not a hardcore theological stance. I did not post this to be like, Paul only wrote this because he hated sex and it's an unholy sin if anyone ever does have it. I just think it is very important for us to be able to joke about stuff like this as Christians because I honestly think Jesus was the type of person that would joke around and have fun. He was a living, breathing human that experienced the joy of laughing with others. If we aren't able to joke and be warm like this, then what do outsiders see when they look at us? Do they see Jesus (who I am 100% sure was the warmest person that will ever step foot on this planet)? Or do they see a bunch of cold, unwelcoming people who have no joy?

And also, I 100% agree with you that 1 Corinthians 7 is about self control. Not only that, but it is stated in a very profound way that ensures honor is part of marriage as much as possible. However, I also 100% believe that the way 1 Corinthians 7:8-9 is written makes me laugh EVERY time (and I am not ashamed of that).

So I say to those who aren't married and to widows - it's better to stay unmarried, just as I am. But if they can't control themselves, they should go ahead and marry. It's best to marry than to burn with lust. - 1 Corinthians 7:8-9 NLT

Like, I'm sorry, but "if they can't control themselves" and "best to marry than to burn with lust"? That's such a funny way to put it which makes me smile every single time. It does not make me appreciate the importance of it less, it just gives me a brief moment of joy.

And secondly, the theory that Paul was betrothed is most likely true and very plausible. However, it is not something that we will ever be able to 100% prove, because we just don't have definite proof of that. So, I see no harm in pondering Paul through an aroace lens, it is actually very healing for me. I grew up and still live in a church that very much taught me that my only purpose, the only way that I could serve God most truly, was to marry and have kids. Which was heartbreaking, because the one thing in the world that I want to do more than anything else is to serve the Lord with my entire life. However, I've just never had even the tiniest of desire to get married. So, what? Is there just something wrong with me and I'm destined to either be incredibly unhappy in a marriage or alternatively just never serve God? That's what I believed for a long time, sadly.

But then I read verses like this in 1 Corinthians 7:

But I wish everyone were single, just as I am. Yet each person has a special gift from God, of one kind or another. -1 Corinthians 7:7

Like, this way that I feel is actually a special gift from God? And Paul, one of the greatest figures in the Bible, felt the same way as I do? That is so powerful, it truly is. Knowing that the way I am can actually be an asset for the Lord and His kingdom. Knowing that my life won't be wasted and can actually just be used all the more for His purpose. Marriage is an incredibly beautiful thing, it's just not for me. And that's ok.

So, yeah. Sorry, for replying like this and for making it so long. I just like having dialogue with fellow Christians, especially on Tumblr. I truly hope you are having an incredible day.

@litostaves

I think we all need to appreciate just how funny the Bible is sometimes because I was reading 1 Corinthians 7 yesterday and Paul was literally like:

“It’s really best if you all never have romantic partners or sex and just devote yourselves entirely to God. But since y’all WEIRDOS can’t seem to CONTROL YOURSELVES, I guess it’s alright if you do it honorably with one person *cue Paul rolling his eyes*.”

Paul was an aroace king and nobody will ever be able to convince me otherwise.

[myhandsarentsmudgediusedigital]

So!

Delphine.

One of the last Blades, undercover as an inn owner, hates all things dragony, bossyass old Breton lady. Like all Skyrim characters, she's underused and underdeveloped in the vanilla game.

I have thoughts on her now.

Warning: SPOILERS FOR A BARD'S TALE BY GABBICAV (link to the story here)

I was going through and revamping one of my old Dragonborns I hadn't worked with in a while*. And I got an idea for a scene that happens right after the fight at Kynesgrove. Minerva and Michel** drag Delphine out of town to finally get an explanation as to who she is.

And as I was writing her dialogue, I realized that her motivation isn't just about the Blades.

Of course she wants to reform the Blades, that much is obvious, but I don't think that's the end of it. It's not just the Blades she wants back, she wants everything back: the Dragonborn, the Empire being whole, and the Blades being the Emporer's most trusted bodyguards.

Delphine wants the Third Era back, or at least the idealized version of it she has in her head. As far as she's concerned, everything started going wrong as soon as Martin died.

Here's a quick quote from what I wrote that I think helps lay it out:

“That’s what we’ve been doing since the fourth era began. We’ve been waiting for a new Dragonborn, a new emperor, to appear, and become the true heirs of the Empire.” Michel let out a low whistle. “True heirs, huh? The Mede dynasty might have an issue with that.” Delphine scowled. “The Medes can go suck an egg. Ever since Martin Septim sacrificed himself, the Empire has been going downhill! If there’s one thing these past two centuries have proven, it’s that only a Dragonborn can keep Tamriel together!”

Of course we know this isn't entirely true. While the Empire did fall apart in the Fourth Era, cracks were already starting to show even back in the Third Era, what with the Simulacrum and the War of the Red Diamond and all. The Third Era might have been more stable, but it was hardly peaceful.

But Delphine either doesn't know this or doesn't care. She wants that idealized vision back.

A while back, I read A Bard's Tale by Gabbicav on AO3 (if you like bards, intrigue, sibling rivalry, and a new perspective on dragons, this is for you).

Delphine is (probably unsurprisingly) an antagonist in the story. I'm going to put what exact actions she takes between spoiler warnings just in case.

In the story, Delphine, not the Dark Brotherhood, assassinates Titus Mede on his visit to Skyrim. At the time I believed it was simply for narrative convenience and to make her more villainous, but thinking about it from this new perspective it makes sense: Delphine views the Medes as imposters unworthy of the throne. They're not Dragonborn, that's why the Blades didn't serve them and why the Penitus Oculatus had to be created.

Plus, y'know, she probably hates him on a personal level for signing the Concordat.

Anyways, I forget if she and Esbern work with the Stormcloaks in the story or if they just happen to also be an antagonistic force, but her working with Ulfric wouldn't be out of character.

You see, Ulfric:

a) Hates the (current) Empire

b) Hates the Thalmor

c) Has charisma enough to have at least a cult following

d) Obviously doesn't agree with the Greybeards because he left their order

e) Idolizes Tiber Septim/Talos

Add to that the fact he can Shout, even if he isn't actually Dragonborn, it might be tempting for Delphine to forge an allience.

Hell, maybe that was her original plan before the dragons and last Dragonborn showed up.

And now she has someone better then Ulfric: a real live Dragonborn that can absorb souls and kill dragons. Who can shout naturally. A true heir to the Ruby Throne.

All that goes a long way towards explaining her behavior. First, she makes sure you're the real deal. Then she sets you on the path to seeing the atrocities the Thalmor commit (even if they're not actually behind the return of the dragons) and reopening the old Blades temple.

And it explains why she's so huffy about Paarthunax. She and the Blades are supposed to be your most trusted advisors, not a dragon who's committed several atrocities (let's ignore that was thousands of years ago and he's been trying to make up for it since)! She has the very specific idea of what a Dragonborn is, and when you inevitable don't measure up to that for whatever reason, she gets angry.

Delphine is a frustrating character, even with development. She longs for a bygone era of peace that didn't ever exist, where she and those in her organization were held with the highest respect and not hunted down and killed, where the Thalmor don't exist, and all is right with the world (in her view).

And that is why you will never change her mind.

...sounds pretty familiar. Maybe she and Ulfric should team up after all...

*Minerva, if you're curious, may post art of her and her brother soon...if I remember...

**Previously known as Gildas, he's become Minerva's twin dragonborn instead of her older mundane brother

[aerynoakenshield]

[Thorin Oakenshield] - Until The End

♫ - Falling - Harry Styles

Middle Earth was a sight. There were so many different landscapes, so much flora and fauna surrounding you each moment. You discovered things in the wild areas that you otherwise may not have known existed if you kept to your own home, or at the very least never seen with your own eyes. The grounds of this world were made for exploration, but admittedly, in small doses. 

It had been a grueling trip to get to Rivendell, and still you had yet to arrive. Long nights paired with exhausting walks meant that tensions had run high in the company. Petty arguments that were over by sundown sprung between members of the party, even those who otherwise had no business being angry with each other. It was simply exhaustion taking over.

On Thorin's recommendation, which was more of an order, you had all stopped for the night in a cave, well out of the sight and smell of any orc packs that may be lurking above ground. Going against Gandalf's better judgement due to Thorin's inability to listen to the wizard, and anyone else for that matter, a fire had been started and food was on its way.

Taking some time away from the bustle of camp being set up, you sat away from everyone else and closed your eyes, entering a small state of meditation in order to try and relax. Despite your love for adventure and being very used to always being on the move, this journey thus far had even started to get to you. 

"You alright there, hey?" A familiar voice broke you out of your rest, and you turned to see Bofur, stood with a bowl of food in his hand. "Here, get this down ya."

"Thanks, Bofur. I'm alright."

Lies. Bofur knew it. You hadn't been fine for some time. When this journey had started, when you had all met at Bilbo's home, you were excited and spry. You couldn't wait for the adventure that lay outside the door. Now, it was different. Now, you were not even sure if you wanted to continue. 

"Aye, you'll excuse me if I don't believe ya, right?"

You chuckled, a look of defeat on your face. You had become close to Bofur on this trip, him and Balin had become almost father figures to you. They were always trying their best to keep your spirits high as you did for everyone else. Much to your dismay, Bofur could now read you like a open book.

"I will," you sighed, shaking your head and beginning to eat as the dwarf joined you with his own food. "Sometimes I fear you know me better than I know myself."

Bofur bumped arms with you and laughed. "Go on, tell me what's wrong."

You thought for a second, pondering whether or not to lie again or just talk to him. Realising that he was actually there to help you, and lying to him seemed futile, you began to talk. 

"Thorin."

Bofur nodded, not wanting to interrupt whatever flow you may get into, but acknowledging what you had said. He knew how tense things were between you and Thorin. 

"I just don't know why he hates me so much, Bofur. I have been nothing but kind to him and I get his temper and anger in return. I cannot help who I am, but I harbour no ill-will to any of you. I do want to see you all finally have a home."

Your voice had cracked at the end, a sign of high emotion from you. Bofur placed a hand on your knee, he had not been blind to Thorin and his attitude towards you.

 It had been like that from the start, and you knew it was because you were an Elf. As a child, you grew up surrounded by those of your own kind, but as you studied and read texts from other kingdoms, adventure had called to you. Gandalf came to you with the opportunity of helping the dwarves reclaim their homeland, and you were all too quick to join him. What you hadn't expected, was for the head of the company to seemingly want you to disappear. 

Nobody else had ill feelings towards you, and you got along with everyone; even Dwalin, who was grumpy most of the time, but after he had saved your life a few days back, it seemed as though his heart had opened up to you more. It was just Thorin.

Balin took you aside two nights back, after he saw you crying as you rode through the forest. That day, Thorin had shouted at you, telling you that 'an Elf does not belong on a trip to reclaim a home that they helped destroy.' For some reason, that stung you deep down. You were not there that day, nor was it your kin on that battlefield either. You were not to blame, and Balin had told you that. He brought you a drink and sat with you, explaining why Thorin acted the way he did and of his past. 

From that night until present moment, you had been kinder to the dwarf than ever before, and it still hadn't been enough. That's what had led to you sitting here with Bofur now, silent contemplation and comforting words filling the air. 

"Listen here," Bofur began, collecting your bowl from you and taking your hands in his own. "You are an asset to this company, believe me. I've never seen someone fight so well with sword and bow. You and Kili work like a charm with those arrows. You've saved our lives multiple times, you keep us cheery when you can. We appreciate ya, we really do. And deep down, I think Thorin does, too."

"He certainly has a funny way of showing it."

"Aye, he does," Bofur agreed. "He certainly does. But, I think you should just talk to him. As I came down, he was on his watch, so if you're lucky maybe you can take him his food and sort this out?"

You shuddered thinking about it. The last thing you needed tonight was to be barked at for merely existing from him. It had been a long day, but as you looked at Bofur before you, you nodded. 

"Alright, I'll do that."

Giving you a hug, Bofur placed a reassuring hand on your shoulder, giving it a squeeze. Standing, you both made your way back to the party and you met Balin by the fire. 

"Can I take a bowl for Thorin, Balin?" you asked, voice low so only he could hear. The last thing you wanted was for anyone, namely Fili or Kili, to make any jokes or remarks right now. Balin's eyebrows raised, but he smiled kindly, handing you a bowl with the spoon.

"Here you go, thank you for taking it." Balin always had been kind to you. Before you could leave, he leaned in to your ear and whispered.

"And good luck." Balin pulled back with a friendly wink, and you could feel that he was trying to calm your nerves. You shook your head with a smile and left.

You had reached the outskirts of the camp and peered around the trees covering the entrance of the cave your company were in, wondering where the young dwarf was for his watch. Normally, he walked up and down, but this time you found him leaning on a rock, gazing out into the planes before him. 

You took a second to look at him, face aglow in the pale moonlight. He looked like a King. He looked beautiful. This wasn't a new thought for you, you had realised that when he turned up at Bilbo's door. There was something different about him to the others. Maybe it was the way he carried himself, or the way his face was a perfect balanced of harsh and soft. Either way, the view before you was something to behold. 

"I know you're there, you know?" Thorin's deep voice pulled you from your thoughts, and his head turned, bright blue eyes meeting yours as you swiftly pulled your away. You couldn't hold eye contact at the best of times, let alone now. 

"My apologies, Thorin, I did not want to make you jump. I thought you might want some food, you need to eat."

Thorin continued to look at you, and if you were looking back you may have noticed his gaze had softened. Taking some steps aside, he made room for you to lean with him on the rock, inviting you over with a wave of his hand.

"Thank you, if you wish to join me, you can."

You couldn't process that for a second. He wants me to stay?  you thought. 

Taking a seat on the grass, you handed him the food and drew your weapon, resting your bow across the length of his sword. Thorin spoke before he had started to eat, looking at you with care. 

"Have you eaten something?" the dwarf asked, concern hinting in his voice.

"I have, thank you. Bofur brought me something not too long ago. I just wanted to make sure you had eaten, too."

Thorin nodded, and began eating his food. Silence fell around you, but it wasn't uncomfortable for the first time. It was soothing. You were in each others company and not fighting, which was a first. As you both sat, Thorin let his mind wander as his eyes roamed the fields.

In his heart, the dwarf knew he had been unfair to you, that his actions had been irredeemable, and overall he had been less than pleasant with you. Truly, he had no bad feeling toward you. It was quite the contrary. 

When Thorin had entered Bilbo's home, he saw his kin before him, but off to the side something else had caught his eye. The last thing he was expecting was an elf to be present, considering the longstanding history between your races. His eyes met yours, and Thorin couldn't deny the feeling he got. He couldn't deny to himself, he thought you were very pretty. A thought Thorin never assumed he would have towards an elf, having had nothing but disdain for them since the incident with King Thranduil. Still, his heart could not deny no matter how hard his brain may try. 

Through the meeting, his eyes darted to you often, finding himself unable to keep them from you. Somewhere inside, there was a small part of himself angry that he would allow such thoughts, especially because the whole reason they were there was partly down to elvish actions. 

Thorin never wanted to be harsh with you, and he never meant for it to go so far. But, in his mind he was battling those feelings that conflicted each other and it was weighing down upon him. He wanted to feel worthy of his ancestors, and perhaps he thought harboring any form of love or admiration for an elf was the worst thing he could do. 

Bringing himself back to the present, he placed his bowl aside, and took a small glance at you. In the night's low light, your features lit up and you appeared more ethereal than normal. In the day to day, you always had an air of grace about you, and you always seemed to glow with a natural beauty. But the moon enhanced that, and Thorin found it hard to tear his gaze away. 

"Look," the dwarf began, and you hummed but kept yourself still, unmoving. "You know I don't think of you harshly. I know my actions haven't made that clear, but I do mean it."

You sighed. "I don't know what I did to deserve that treatment, Thorin."

Mahal, he loved the way you said his name. Never had it been so soft. But now was not the time for those thoughts, as he replied to you as honest and open as he could.

"You did nothing, I was acting out of grudge. There are elves I have a right to hate, but I know you are not one of them. I let my worst side take charge with you, and I hope you can forgive that. I am sorry for how I have treated. You have shown nothing but kindness, you have saved lives in this company, and I have still treated you horrendously. If you couldn't see past that, I would understand. But, I just wanted to let you know."

Now, your eyes fell upon the dwarf, and he seemed sorrowful. It seemed so genuine, a very rare glimpse into the vulnerable and unguarded side of Thorin Oakenshield. 

"If I could not see past that, I would have been gone long ago."

Thorin's eyes met yours, and you had a kind glint in them. Your smiled, only half way, and glanced at your hands as you fiddled with your knife holster, idly playing with the loose leather pieces. You talked again, low and personal, making sure he knew every word was for him and hoping you could be as transparent as he just was. 

"I want to see you on that throne, you know? I do wish to see you all reclaim your home. I cannot imagine what such a thing must feel like, as I have always had a home. But, you had yours taken away, and I took this task before I had met any of you. I think your company are a wonderful set of people, I have become very fond of all of them."

Thorin smiled too, thinking of his party back in the cave. 

"And," you finished off, slightly hesitantly. "I think they have the best leader they could in you. You are the rightful king under the mountain, and I will not stop at anything until I know you sit where you should."

"You really think that?" Thorin sounded almost unsure. 

"I would not have said it if I meant otherwise."

For a moment, you both sat without talking, simply taking in the ambience around you. For the first time ever, there was no malice in the air when you were in each other's company. As your hands looped and twisted the leather still, a bigger hand took one of yours and rested in your lap. Shocked at the gesture, you looked over to Thorin, whose eyes were firmly ahead. Taking a step of your own, you shuffled into him closer, your legs and bodies touching. You could swear you felt him relax. 

"I must confess something," Thorin's voice broke the air. "I thought you were beautiful when I first saw you."

"Oh?" you replied, seemingly surprised. "Me?"

"Yes, you. I could not take my eyes off you for that entire meeting. You have been in my thoughts ever since we left The Shire. It would seem I cannot get you out of my mind."

Your hand tightened around his, turning to entwine your fingers in with his own. It was then you noticed just how big his hands really were; they were almost twice the size of your own. Your other hand traced the rings he wore, your gentle touch sending a feeling through his whole body that he failed to describe.

"I have thought of you often, too. Even after all the fights, all of the arguments. I have thought about the dwarf that may be hidden under all of that, the kind Thorin that I am convinced is in there."

He let out a hearty chuckle, one that seemed less of humour and more of a tension relief. Finally, he was cleared of this weight on his shoulders. 

"Then perhaps you should find that out for yourself."

Before you had a chance to answer his playful remark, Thorin's hand lifted to hold your face, rubbing his thumb across your cheek. His hand came to rest on your jaw, and as he leaned in he stopped just before your lips, waiting for your permission to carry on. Without hesitation, you closed your eyes and pressed your lips to his. Knowing you were fine with it, Thorin pulled you closer and deepened the kiss, though still remaining soft. 

You both knew your guards being dropped like this was not good, but in the moment, neither of you cared. It was only a minute or so, and the company were safe. Pulling back, Thorin rested his forehead against your own as you regained your breath. Say what you will, he is an excellent kisser. 

"Thorin," you breathed out, not wanting to ruin the tender moment. 

"Are we friends now then?" he asked, a smug tone lacing his words as he smirked at you. 

"I think we are a little more than friends right now."

You had laughed and Thorin followed suit, and as you continued watch with him, his arm came to rest around your shoulders, occasionally playing with a loose strand of your hair. Your head leaned onto his shoulder. 

"What do you think the future holds, Thorin? After you reclaim Erebor, what then?"

You heard him sigh, and his gaze fell upon the sky as he rested his head against the rock. 

"I would think a focus on building back homes, creating a safe place for people to work and live among each other. Once word is sent to the other dwarves, perhaps then we can create the community that once was there. But in truth, I do not know."

Thorin was uncertain, mostly of the future just ahead, never mind the future that far in front. 

"But," he began, now looking down at you as your eyes met. "I do know that I would quite like you by my side through it all."

You said nothing in reply, choosing instead to lean into him and capture his lips in a gentle kiss. Thorin's hand wound itself into your hair as he deepened the kiss. Without thought, you pulled him closer and you both got lost in each other for those few moments. Right here, nothing else mattered, nothing else was real. It was you and him, in each other's embrace and for the first time in so long, at ease. 

You spent the rest of the night with each other on guard, allowing the company some decent rest, and from that day on you had vowed to always be there with Thorin Oakenshield until the very end. 

Thank you for reading! <3

[fandom-geek]

(read your tags) the fact that datv apparently sanitised the Crows is really making flames come out of my eyes... thank goodness datv can't change the origins experience in any way, because I cherish Zevran and his story just the way they are. I really wanted to like datv but now I don't think I'd try it either unless it were for free ^^;

i think i've been pretty upfront that i had basically written dreadwolf/veilguard off between all of the senior figures quitting, the schreier article, and the layoffs, but i thought i had set my bar for veilguard pretty low. it has somehow fucking limboed under that bar. i would almost be impressed if it wasn't so terrible.

and everything i have read abt the plot leads me to believe that the writers actively hated origins. i am seriously trying not to just hate on veilguard, but the most positive things i've seen are "the characters are pretty and the character creator is so good!". is that really the bar ppl want to set for dragon age games? i accept that i am uncommonly willing to accept potato graphics, but seriously? it's the bread and circuses of bloody video games.

between the crows being sanitised, denerim/ferelden being destroyed by the blight off-screen, and the fucking "loghain was controlled by the illuminati" twist in the goddamn credits (not sure if you saw that post), i really cannot fathom any other explanation than the new producers/executives at bioware just straight up hating origins.

i'm not the sort to say this at all, but it genuinely just comes across as disrespectful to the writers who worked on origins and 2. there's no sense of "oh, i disagree with this choice but their love of the series still shines through" whatsoever, just straight up ignoring any lore that doesn't suit their very narrow vibe goals.

i get wanting to make the series your own with a new instalment, especially since 99% of the senior figures for da quit or were forcibly laid off it's a new team, but everything i've seen makes me want to think that the people in charge of veilguard actively hated dragon age but were too cowardly to make a second fantasy ip. you know, if the aforementioned creative forces being made to quit or being forcibly laid off didn't give that away.

there is some shit going on at bioware, especially towards veteran dragon age staff, and this bonfire of a game is the result. like this list is from before the layoffs, and you just don't get that many veteran employees of 10-20+ years quitting from 2016 onwards unless there is something massively wrong going on at that workplace.

but yeah, i realise workplace conditions are kinda off-topic and this has been way longer than i meant it to be, but i just really cannot with veilguard. once i'm finished with expeditions rome, i'm probably just going to continue my origins playthrough and admire what a competently-written and consistent game it is compared to the mess that is veilguard.

[ikamigami]

I agree with you but there's only one thing that I disagree with and I dislike that people bought Nexus' lies about Sun..

But Sun didn't actually constantly compare Nexus to Moon..

Remembering something that Moon did is not a comparison..

Misremembering what Nexus did and what Moon did is not comparing them..

Sun saying "Moon would do x" when he saw Nexus not knowing what to do is not comparing Nexus to Moon..

That wasn't Sun's intention in any of these instances or it never came off as like that to me..

But I get it Nexus felt like that but again he was mistaken..

It's like a situation when you lost your close one and got someone else in their place and you said "x used to do y" - this is just a normal statement but Nexus read a tone that wasn't even there.. he thought Sun was comparing him to his abuser which is untrue..

Nexus is as much at fault for this as Sun is.. because Nexus was mistaken and he based his assumptions about Sun on these misunderstandings which he never cared to clarify with Sun..

So is it really that much that Sun was constantly comparing Nexus to Moon.. or maybe it's actually that Nexus assumed shit about Sun without talking with him about this..

I will never blame Sun for "constantly comparing Nexus to Moon" because that never happened..

The only thing that I'm certain that was Sun's fault and it was wrong of him to do was that he lied to Nexus.. that he hid from Nexus that he was conduit for star's power..

And he regretted that.. he apologized for that..

The rest is Nexus making things up in his head and getting mad about it..

His feelings are valid but the moment he started using it as justification for his awful actions and to be awful towards people who care about him he lost any credibility and sympathy..

Cause normally people try to talk things out and then try to work together through their issues..

But Nexus never tried to talk with Sun.. he only talked with Sun when everything went downhill..

Even though Sun wanted to talk but he respected that Nexus didn't want to talk..

So who's fault it is actually?

"or did you only started caring when everything went downhill?" (not exact same words) maybe you should ask this yourself, Nexus..

Or maybe Nexus actually was projecting onto Sun.. and to justify his hate he clinged onto Sun's slip ups and few mistakes to feel better about himself..

Cause "Sun is worse than me so I don't have to feel bad about myself. It's actually all his fault"..

I bet that's what Nexus was repeating to himself to feel better about himself..

I hope that you don't feel like I'm attacking you, friend 😭

Cause it's not my intention..

I'm just tired that many fans bought this false narration that Sun was constantly comparing Nexus to Moon..

Yes Nexus was compared to Moon..

But not by Sun..

I ask those who says that we should rewatch episodes with early Nexus to see that everyone was comparing Nexus to Moon to watch it again.. but more carefully..

Because maybe then they'll see that Sun wasn't constantly comparing Nexus to Moon..

It's just a total bs that Nexus was repeating to himself..

And people bought it because for some reason people believe in everything a villain say..

Even though often times their perspective is skewed and their beliefs are based on false assumptions..

And people then tend to say "hey that's how these villains feel and it's valid"..

Yeah it's valid but should we invalidate the harm they caused by their actions simply because their feelings are valid.. no

But I doubt that this fandom is ready for such discussions when all they do is to babify villains as if they could never do any wrong..

Bzbxbxbxnxbnxnxbbxbxbxb

I'm sorry friend.. don't take it as an attack on you because my frustration isn't aimed at you at all but at how popular this false narration became that Sun constantly compared Nexus to Moon..

TW RANT - I may come off as rude here so I'm sorry in advance but people being too mad at Sun for everything that happened to Nexus just start to annoy me a bit especially when they act as if Sun basically abused Nexus

Sun doesn't need any excuses for how things were with him and Nexus at the beginning cause for what reason?

Sun never compared Nexus to Moon..

Nexus felt this way but if he cared to listen to Sun he'd understand that he was mistaken..

Because all Sun tried to say is that he doesn't want Nexus to do everything by himself while he's sitting there doing nothing just like it was with Moon..

Because at the time when Sun decided to be conduit for star's power Nexus was already taking care of everything by himself while Sun was doing nothing..

Just like it was with Moon..

It wasn't okay for Sun to lie but it wasn't okay for Nexus to yell his head of at Sun and refuse to listen to him and refuse to understand why Sun did what he did..

I wish to say something about people who defend early Nexus but I'll refrain myself cause I don't want to start any drama..

"nothing can excuse Sun for mistreating Nexus" it's a hella weird hill to die on..

Because what mistreating? The one Nexus made up in his head? And he never even cared to communicate with Sun and by that I mean that he also let Sun speak up and only yell "Me, myself and I" because that's not how communication works..

And what excuse? What y'all on about?

Sun apologized every time for when Nexus expressed being hurt..

But Nexus didn't care..

Or oh wait no.. Nexus just is too much of a coward to admit that he was afraid that Sun will die..

Why he never try to talk with Sun about anything..

Because he was a coward..

And now he chose hate.. because hating is easier..

The only wrong thing that Sun did was that he lied to Nexus.. but ofc is so good to held one mistake over someone's head forever, right?

As if Nexus never did any mistakes..

And ofc Nexus was worried about Sun well-being but he also actively pushed him away and was neglectful towards him..

But no one cares how it made Sun feel because apparently only poor Nexus' feelings are the most important thing..

[moondaeznuts]

When you find a new webnovel that looks interesting but there's no fan tl :')

Now we suffering through mtl (I gave up reading LMAO)

reading action genre mtls is my enemy

Action fantasy is my most worst enemy to read mtl