#I don't know why this has me in a chokehold all of a sudden

[checosbluespring]

racing hearts → op81

oscar piastri x plus size!fem reader

genre: drivers room smut, established relationship

cw: 18+ MDNI, smut, oral (male receiving), praise kink, dirty talk, pls let me know if i am forgetting anything

word count: 2.7k

song: cupid's chokehold- gym class heroes

sidenote: hi everyone! finally the new fic is here and it's an oscar one! please let me know if y'all have any ideas or requests for a fic because i don't have a plan for the next one haha. also not beta read. hope you all enjoy <3

♡♡♡♡

Silvertone made you nervous, don't get me wrong, all of Oscars races made you incredibly nervous but it wasn't often you were in the paddock watching in person. He was doing good, no matter how he did you were always proud of him, but it was nice to hear him over the radio sounding happy. Your nerves got the best of you, and you found yourself shaking your leg and biting your nails, before it got worse you decided a little walk around the paddock would be calming. 

You and Oscar had been dating a little over two years, and those two years had been amazing. You remember his year as a reserve driver and all the hesitation that he felt. You remember when he first got word about getting a spot in f1 and the tears of joy that fell down your face when he told you. You remember every big and little moment that has impacted your relationship. 

Before dating, you guys were friends, you were getting your masters degree in London and happened to be friends with one of his friends. Everything kinda felt like fate, when you first met him you had been so shy, of course you had heard about the hot shot f2 driver, and of course you had been nervous. A part of this nervousness and shyness you felt was because you were worried how he would react to you being a bigger girl. 

To your surprise Oscar was amazing to you. And over the next couple of moments as he was pursuing you, he did not shy away from being affectionate.

You would like to say the rest was history but it wasn't, that your relationship had its ups and downs. Oscar wanted to go public with your relationship, it was you who had told him we should hold off. You knew how people would react and this was his first year in f1, you didn't want to add to that stress. People would bombard him on his social media posts, interviews would ask questions, you couldn't do that to him. After all he's worked for. Truth be told you would like to show your affection to Oscar in public, to be able to hold and kiss him after a good quali or a podium, but you knew how mean the internet could be and you couldn't do that to him or yourself.

The sound of the cars pull you out of your trace and you figure it was time to head back to the garage and watch. You felt a pit in your stomach, he was doing good, and only a few laps left but anything could happen. With the final lap you see he finished 4th, you were extremely happy for him. But in the back of your mind, you knew Oscar would be mad. Mad that he was so close to a podium. Despite that you couldn’t wait to hug and congratulate him. 

The garage was crowded, roars and screams echoed in your ears. The team was proud of their 2nd and 4th finish. And while no one knew why you were there or your intentions, you couldn’t help but feel extremely proud of both boys. 

You knew it would take Oscar a while to finish his debriefing, post race interviews, and just overall navigating the garage. You took it upon yourself to sneak into his drivers room and wait until he’s done. Walking in see a small picture of you and him nestled away near his backpack.

A sudden jolt of possessiveness, and just overall happiness rings through you. At the end of the day you couldn’t believe Oscar and you were together. He was the most amazing, caring and loving person you could’ve ever imagined to have. You knew you had to do something when he came into the room to cheer him up because, even though fourth place was an incredible finish, Oscar always thrived for more. 

You make yourself comfortable, slipping off your shoes and putting your hair in a ponytail. You looked through the tiny closet that was in the drivers room, where he said he would leave a larger hoodie for you to wear after the race if it was cold. It was the little things like this that made you love him even more. While you weren’t the type of girl who could wear his hoodies or shirts because they were too small on you. He made the extra effort to give you what you wanted. 

While waiting, you came up with the most amazing idea, you and Oscar had a pretty active sex life. You were both young, what could you say? it was always pretty difficult during practice days and qualities to find time alone with each other but today you decided you were going to plan something special. 

You found yourself getting excited at the idea, crossing your legs you try to create some friction to hold yourself off until Oscar gets into the room, but luck was not on your side today, and it took two more hours until Oscar finally entered the room, looking exhausted, flushed and sweaty. 

His hair was damp and sticking to his forehead. Just how you liked it when his hair was down. His pretty eyes sparkled at you, but through his smile, you could tell he was disappointed and sad.

“Hi baby, how was debrief?” you questioned

“Same old, same old just took longer to get out because they wanted to strategize on how we can get a one-two next race. Are you ready to go? I’m exhausted, starving and I need to shower desperately.”

Before you can nod, you remember the plan you had made a couple hours earlier. He might be too tired to do anything, but all you can do is try.

“Why don’t you sit down for a minute Osc, we can get you changed out of your fireproofs, and wait a little while traffic is still dying down. Here let me order us some food to be delivered back to the hotel for later on” 

You quickly get on your phone and order his favorite post race meal, a chicken burger with sweet potato fries. You opt out and get yourself something different. After placing your order, you start to grab his change of clothes that he brought with him. When you are face to face in front of him, you see Oscar looking up at you with the most fondest eyes, and quiet smile. 

Oscar wasn’t the most romantic person in the world, but just by existing he made up for it. Nonetheless he never strayed away from complimenting you.

“Have I told you, you are the best girlfriend in the world, you take such good care of me”

“You’ve said it once or twice but I wouldn’t mind hearing it more” you wink as you slowly start to take off his undershirt. You take the liberty to also take off his pants, so you kneel down in front of him and start to pull off his boots one by one. This felt extremely intimate and it left you with a flushed feeling.  

You gesture him to lift his hips so you could pull off the remaining part of his fireproofs that were pooled loosely around his waist. Once he does this you shimmy them down his legs, leaving him in just his boxers. 

“You did so good today baby” you said while rubbing your hands up and down the tops of his thighs.

“You raced so well. You don’t know how proud I am of you. My rookie, my baby, you are so perfect Osc, my one and only”

You see a tint of red cover his cheeks and nose. This was something you guys have been experimenting more with, you being dominant. You weren’t gonna do that today. Tonight you just wanted to let him know how good he was. You slowly see a tent pop up in his boxers

“Oh my, my, Oscar what’s this, do you like hearing how good you are? Well you are, you are so good” 

Instead of replying, Oscar tries to hide his face with his forearm. That just won’t do.

“Oh no no no, don’t hide yourself from me, isn’t that what you always tell me”

He slowly removes his forearm to look down at you. 

“Baby can I please suck you off, want to show you how proud I am”

He nods his head yes and lets out a tiny please. 

That’s all you needed to hear before you slide his boxers off. His pretty pink cock springs free, red at the tip, angry looking and dripping. Oscar had the prettiest cock you had ever seen, to be fair you had only seen a couple in your life but his was so pretty. Average in length, maybe a bit below, but thick, pale with a pink tinge to it. Oscar left things pretty natural in the hair department but that never bothered you. Everything about him just made sense. 

Your mouth instantly drools at the sight of it, laying across his tummy. You spit in your right hand and grasp it at the base, and slowly drag your hand up his shaft. You look up to see Oscar’s eyes slowly flutter close. A tiny breath leaves his mouth. You decided now was the time to praise him some more.

“You have such a pretty cock Oscar, fucks me so well, fills me up in the best way possible. No one has ever made me come the way you do, you take such good care of me, let me do the same for you”

With that you bring your head down to softly lick the head, swirling your tongue around the tip, you dip your head down and lick a long stripe from the base of his cock all the way to the tip and fully take the head into your mouth. 

Oscar’s hands were gripping the couch as hard as he could, trying to keep the moans at a minimum, the driver room walls were very thin. Oscar was usually on the quieter side, but you don’t know what possessed you to say this.

“Don’t hold back, be loud love, I want everyone to know how good I’m making you feel, want everyone to know I’m in here worshiping your cock”

“Fuck y/n you have such a dirty mouth” he whined. 

You giggled and brought your cheek down to nestle his cock. Grabbing it firmly you slap it against your face leaving a slight sting. You couldn’t help but look up at him as you did this, he was staring down at you, mouth agape. 

“I left your cheek all red” he muttered, you could sense he felt a little bad because of it. You couldn’t have that.

“Good, want us to walk out here knowing just what we did” and even though you know when you walked out people would think you were a McLaren worker because of your outfit, you couldn’t help but feel excited walking out into the world knowing you had just done what you did with thee Oscar Piastri. 

Oscar is fully back in your mouth again, hash breaths and tiny moans are coming from the man above you. Bobbing your head up and down you try your best to fully take his entire length. It was hand because he was stretching your mouth so wide with his thickness. You focus your tongue at the head, swirling and moving your tongue back and forth at the spot the connects the tip to the base. That brings out the biggest moan from him. You immediately look up to see his eyes are shut close and his lip looks like it’s about to start bleeding from how hard he’s biting it.

Continuing to focus on the head, you bring your hand down to his balls and cup them. You softly rub and massage them. You knew once you did this Oscar would finish soon.

“Want you to fuck my mouth, want to feel it for days after you leave London, want to remember how good you fuck my throat” you say to him with eyes that were begging.

“Are you sure baby? Don’t want to hurt you”

“If you hurt me I’ll slap your thigh, but trust me I want this”

He nods and grabs the back of your head to place you back on his cock. He starts slow, hand loosely grabbing the back of your head, guiding you softly. You try to relax your throat, because soon he starts to pick up his pace. Instead of the soft hold, he is harshly grabbing your hair, using it to move you up and down. You do your best to still use your tongue despite Oscar moving you at a very fast pace. 

“Fuck I’m gonna come soon” he whispers

You knew he was close to the edge by the way the thick vein on the underside of his cock was throbbing. You look up at him the best as you could and nod, hoping he got the message to finish in your mouth. In all honesty, you wanted him to come all over your face but you still had to walk through the paddock to his car. 

His hips start to stutter and he stops moving your head, arms fallen to his side. He lets out a loud groan and you feel the warm white liquid flood your mouth. You swallow and open your mouth to show him. He also groans at this, cupping your face he bring you up to connect you both in a kiss. It was a sweet kiss, no tongue, nothing crazy, just sweet.

You smile at him and stand up, you know you are drenched but you didnt want to do anything else in this room. Oscar may be able to be quite, but there so guarantee with you.

“Want me to eat you out” Oscar asked with his face in your neck as you sat next to him. 

“No, you can fuck me later if you are up for it, but we should be going soon, the food is probably going to be delivered before we get there”

He nods “Where did you learn to talk like that” Oscar asks as he puts on his new pair of boxers.

“I don’t know what you mean, I was just speaking the truth” you wink.

He gives you a uhhuh look and continues to get dressed. You look at yourself in the mirror and you don’t completely look disheveled. The slight redness on your cheek was still there but you wanted that. You dug in Oscar’s bag for a piece of gum and popped it in your mouth. You both get ready in silence. As you are about to leave you stop him.

“You do know I am genuinely proud of you, and I can’t wait to see how much you grow and succeed, I love you.” You say and kiss his cheek. 

“I love you too, you are the most amazing and beautiful girlfriend ever, I can’t wait for people know you are mine”

Something overcame you. You grab his hand and nod, if someone finds out and spreads it, you could care less. You were tired of hiding this. You see the smile and lead the way out of the drivers room.

Hand in hand you both walked down the paddock, you were proud of your boyfriend. No more being scared. He deserves this and more. His hand was warm and you knew everything was right. You had no doubt in your mind that next season you would both be back here but celebrating a podium instead. 

♡♡♡♡

[fromthedeskoftheraven]

Please tell me what you can about Break my Baby. I love a good Max.

Adira, my dear(a) 💖

This idea has had me in a chokehold for literal years but I've just never gotten serious about writing it. The gist is that Max sweet-talks his assistant into going to a corporate retreat with him, where forced-proximity shenanigans and budding attraction ensue. BUT on the way home they're in a car accident and the assistant is mortally wounded, so Max has to make the quick decision to turn her instead of letting her die. They navigate her new vamp life together and (of course) end up in fluffy eternal love.

A little piece of a scene under the cut (tbh I don't know why it's in first person. the muse wants what it wants):

***

Max looks up from his desk with a dazzling smile when I walk into his office juggling his coffee and mine along with my purse and laptop bag.

"There's my favorite little juice box."

"Stop calling me that, it was one time. When you were allegedly at... undeath's door."

He gives an exaggerated frown, swallowing a swig of the black coffee I’ve unloaded onto his desk. "Allegedly? Sunshine, you wound me."

"Don't tempt me. Home Depot has stakes, you know."

"Speaking of steaks, have dinner with me tonight."

"No, thank you."

"You work too hard. You deserve a nice meal, a glass of wine. Creme brulee for dessert."

The thought trickles through my mind, syrupy and comforting and a little fuzzy around the edges, like a drop of warm honey.

It has been a long day, and I am hungry, and that place two blocks over does an amazing creme brulee.

And Max isn't that bad, after all, and he'll be on his best behav—

Wait a minute.

I feel like I’m moving in slow motion as I dig my fingers into the tender flesh of my tricep and pinch, like my sister used to do when we’d fight as kids. The sudden clarity makes me shake my head.

"Really, Max?"

He only shrugs. "What am I supposed to do? You're no fun."

"You don't pay me enough to be fun."

"Well, let me get the paperwork to HR and I’ll call for a reservation."

"If there's nothing else, I have emails to answer," I say, turning toward the door.

"Oh, yeah." Max starts flicking through papers on his desk. "There's that thing this weekend, I need you to go with me."

I blink. "The thing? What thing?"

"You know..." He waves one hand in a distracted circle. "The thing for the company."

"No, I don’t know. Mind-reading is supposed to be your thing."

"I've told you, I can't read minds. This," he says, fishing a brochure out of the pile. "The sales managers' annual retreat."

"In case you hadn't noticed, I'm not a sales manager. And I have plans this weekend."

Binge-watching the Great British Bake Off over takeout absolutely counts as plans.

"Cancel 'em. I need my trusty assistant, gotta impress corporate with how organized and efficient I am."

"You mean, how organized and efficient I am," I counter. "Again, plans."

“Just look at the brochure.” Max shifts tactics to turn the puppy-dog eyes up to eleven. “An all-expense-paid weekend at an exclusive resort upstate, how can you say no to that? You do work too hard, you know.” 

Begrudgingly, I open the glossy brochure he’s shoved into my hands. Rolling green hills surround a hotel that looks like a French chateau. Smiling people are playing golf, swimming in a massive indoor pool, relaxing in a sauna, clinking champagne glasses in a gold-trimmed dining room. A bed as big as my studio apartment is dressed in crisp white linens, with mints on the pillows.

Binging the Great British Bake-Off in a free fancy hotel room wouldn’t be too bad, as plans go.

I look back to Max, watching me expectantly. “You drive and pay for gas,” I start.

Victory sparks in his dark eyes. “Fair enough.”

“During free time, I get to do whatever I want. No meetings, no spreadsheets, no fetching extra ice for your drink.”

“You won’t even know I’m there.” He lays a hand over his lifeless heart like he’s taking an oath of office or something.

This is going better than I expected. Might as well shoot for the moon.

“And I get a clothing allowance. I don’t have any resortwear.”

“You need any help shopping? I drove past the mall the other day, and Victoria’s Secret had this little red number in the window—”

“What do you think?” I ask dryly.

A grin dimples his cheek. “You drive a hard bargain, Sunshine. Deal.”

“Seriously?”

“Eh, why not? I’ll expense everything, anyway. Just have to get creative with the codes.”

This is probably a mistake. 

Best-case scenario, I’ll have stories to tell at cocktail parties. If I’m ever invited to one, that is. Worst case, I end up in prison for staking my boss.

“Fine,” I sigh. “What time are we leaving?”

“I’ll pick you up at 7:30 sharp on Friday morning. Can’t miss the welcome breakfast,” Max says cheerfully.

“Your turn to bring my coffee, then. I want a—”

“Decaf caramel latte with almond milk, extra whip. I know.”

I frown. “Yeah. That.” 

“Well, don’t let me keep you. Those emails won’t answer themselves, am I right?” Max dismisses me with a wink and a flourish of finger guns.

Finger guns.

After two years of working for Max, my eye roll is a reflex. He’s so corny, it distracts me from the weirdness of the most self-focused person I know paying attention to my coffee order.

***

Thank you for asking!

[lyllaotterofhalfworld]

Your platy dad au is very interesting and I kinda want to know the lore, how Perry adopted Phineas and Ferb. Why Linda and Lawrence aren't in the picture? What caused such a dramatic personality shift in the main cast? etc.

You don't have to answer this I'm just sending this so you know that I'm interested.

It's been such a a long time since I've shared any kind of lore for anything, so I'm a bit rusty, I even kinda suck at doing these, and I'm really sorry if it looks/is rushed but I really wanna answer 😭

.

.

Linda and Lawrence suddenly disappeared one day while on a date (but I will say they're not dead), the kids were home when it happened. And all of a sudden they were going be taken away- but it was also suspicious on how fast these "authorities" came, so Perry, having to give up his cover, took it upon himself to take the kids under his wing and adopt them so they wouldn't be separated and thanks to Doof (he's a good guy who still does inators for fun) for providing evidence that he can take care of the kids, and that Doof himself was raised by ocelots

It's Danville, no one really questions stuff much, so they just let him lmaoo

So the kids (including the gang, cuz they also know too much now) goes into a "OWCA protection" program, much to the dismay of Perry, but the kids needed some training cuz something fishy was going on, and were given assigned agents. Peter The Panda and Perry were off teaching the Flynn-Fletcher kids while the other agents dealt with the others- everything's turning alright. And it goes on after weeks of them all getting to know each other

Turns out Peter had been a snitch the entire time and has doing some shady things for someone in tri-state area, and that knowing and even finding out about this fact greatly upsets Phineas cuz he thought they were all friends and he gets his tooth busted by Peter so he can make a quick getaway and burning down bridges he made

This causes a total shift in Phineas' outgoing personality and snaps. With his parents disappearance and someone he thought was a friend betraying them and him being hurt- everything echoes and weight just piles down upon his shoulders

(The others like Isabella, Buford and Baljeet, weren't at all like the originals in the first place, they molded into their own thing- Buford and Baljeet kinda staying the same in a way??

With Candace and Ferb, they kinda also molded into their own thing, something opposite of their og, but I kinda based Platydad!Phineas on the original, snarky Phineas from the beginning and also gave some of that snark to Ferb as well xD)

.

...

.

I haven't thought about all this AU in forever, I've been meaning to get back to it but other fandoms have me in a chokehold and I haven't found the motivation yet ;v;

[romaroy]

Hello again. I sent you an ask earlier about my wacky theory🫣. RJ(R)<- ->M. He he. It was nonsensical but it has a chokehold on me.

I was wondering mainly about Marius' personality though. I only read half of QotD but the thing I can't reconcile is the fact that 'Raglan James' is so weasel like. Like Justin Kirk plays him so incompetent and goofy. He was totally waiting for Daniel to pay for his Mackerel! Sly. The amount of times he talked about the fish and was disappointed in the end lol. I don't remember Marius being like this in TVL. I don't doubt he's involved somehow but he was so imposing and god like from what I remembered. Like marble or stone. Is Marius also good at acting? These vampires need to take over Hollywood not Real Estate if that's the case.

Prev ask: Hi! What do think about Raglan James being "Rashid" and "Rashid" being Marius? That sort of body swap. I don't know much (at all) but I have a general knowledge about Marius. I had a weird feeling about Rashid when I saw him placed next to Marius' painting in one of the episodes. It was so CLEAR he was positioned there for the shot. I think it was episode 1 or 2. The only thing that makes me think I am speaking out my ass is the fact that Raglan James has a weird accent. (Do accents travel with bodyswaps?) And why would that sort of bodyswap even be necessary. But then again why can Daniel all of a sudden remember with Rashid back from vacation? Where was he? Why did the veneers crack then? How can Rashid lie blatantly about who he spoke to? It wasn't omission. Bro couldn't handle chopsticks. Ugh I am gonna read all the books during the hiatus. I am going crazy. Like that meme with the conspiracy story board

RJ=Rashid

RJR<- ->Marius

I think that’s way too complicated for TV. I see the vision but I do think Rashid is Rashid I just really don’t think Raglan is who he says and that is IS Marius. I might be wrong but I’m willing to be my good knee at this point.

Marius personality depends on the books and how’s he’s perceived like many of the books and characters. In TVL he’s very calm, he’s a teacher and a scholar but immensely powerful. In QOTD he is quite prideful but Blood and Gold gives a lot about his personality. He’s quick to loneliness, he can be rash (turning Pandora),

I’m reading blood and gold and have some kites about his personality as I read.

Some stuff I’ve made note of that I think hawk his personality (not finished the book yet):

- “…inside him there lurked a dreadful anger and an unreasonable hate.” (P19)

- ”I listen with my whole soul.” He gave a little sigh and looked out through the immense glass. “I’m weary of being alone, my friend,” he said. “I cannot bear the company of those whom I know most intimately. And they cannot bear mine on account of things I’ve done.” (P36)

- he likes to live as a mortal and nots he feels safe because “the only enemy who has harmed me was a swarm of blood drinkers.” (P50)

- “…I took Daniel because he needed me. I took Daniel because it’s unendurable to me to be utterly alone.” (P57). Context of this is Daniel is struggling after he turns into a vampire by Armand

- “”I denied my love and my jealously completely. I denied my crushing disappointment. I told myself, ‘you are too wise for such. Learn from what’s happened..” (p64)

- “I don’t know what caused me the worst pain- the loss of Lestat or my jelousy that she had given and taken with him.” (P66)

- (about lestat) “I wanted to love him still and I wanted to be loved, and I could not forfeit my place as the wife and patient on…anger is too painful for me. Anger is too pathetic. I cannot beer it, I cannot act upon it.”

- “And my pride returned. I could not stoop to a common physical battle, especially one which might become hideously awkward and ugly, one which I might not win. No. I was too wise for it.” (P122)

- “I lived the lie. I lived out of anger. This is what I’m trying to tell you. I have lived lies. I have done it again and again. I live lies because I cannot endure the weakness of anger, and I cannot admit the irrationality of love.” (P123)

-“ I do move through the world by means of questions and too often I’ve asked those questions in utter silence, or king centuries ago of people who gave me answers that were fragments which I had to piece together as they were bits of old papyri. I hunger for knowdlege. I hunger for what you mean to say to me.” (P233)

[candiliam328]

✨ Bean's Top Five Song Discoveries of 2023 ✨

yes i realize it is already well into january 2024 but here, enjoy the songs i found this year that define my 2023. if you're new here, hi i used to make obsessive music posts but now dont have time to make full ones so take this instead: your very own unique insight to my 2023!

this post is dedicated to @disco-tea for somehow being invested in all my music adventures and obsessions, bestie ily 🥺💕

STOP (Lollapalooza Version) by j-hope (Eng. translation // Performance w/ Eng. sub)

im totally cheating already by choosing this when i first listened to jitb in 2022. but honestly? i dont care. i saw hobipalooza for the first time in 2023 and this version was only officially released then so here it is now!

to be frank, watching the performance was a completely different experience to me compared to listening to the studio release. while the original recording sounded conversational, it felt like something was exploding out of him during this performance. he needed to get things off his chest and yet still barely stops himself in his tracks from spiralling. and the juxtaposition !! placing it right after Equal Sign, where he is preaching kindness and understanding and unity and even goes so far to say "it costs you nothing to be kind" ?? and then the sudden immediate whiplash into STOP where he is actively holding himself back because its not true! being kind is hard!!! but he wants to be understanding and practice what he preaches but even he fails and gets "contaminated by the viruses" sometimes. its hard, its real, its raw. and ugh !! this song !!!

Bonus: the moment I always start to lose my mind

its the way the alternate title to this song is "there are no bad people in the world," a belief he holds deep to his core. and yet only a few breaths later, he confesses that the reality of the world makes him question if people are even human anymore. 😩 like wtf-

but also. its so true. and relatable. sometimes i cant even look at the news anymore bc its so hard to be a hopeful and positive and good person when you are bombarded with only hate and tragedy. i have never seen that feeling captured so perfectly in a song. jung hoseok you king.

tldr i think about this song, its performance juxtaposition, and what it means way too often. eternally sad that the youtube video with eng subs playing those songs back to back got taken down, i rewatched it so much it haunts me. may we never ever forget hobipalooza bc jung hoseok made Choices !!

-

Don't Wanna Cry by Seventeen (Eng. translation // Performance w/ Eng. sub in captions)

the real ones remember how j-hope took over my life that second half of 2022 and how much i fought tooth and nail the entire way... so yeah lol seventeen took over the second half of 2023 and this is the song that got me out of that denial.

the thing is. i had kept hearing about this song and this choreography and how iconic it was, which is why i avoided it for so long. but as we all know, no matter how much i joke, i am and always will be a dancer. dancing will always be in my blood. so it is very on brand that a good dancer has been what gets me into kpop groups 100% of the time (2 out of 2 groups stanned bc i fell for the main dancer 🫣). and as a choreographer, good choreo will always have an unreasonable chokehold on me. and yet, Don't Wanna Cry has the audacity to exist ?? featuring performance unit leader hoshi with his most masterful choreography for this heartbreaking song ?? come onnn, i had no chance.

i cant say anything about this choreo that hasnt been said before but like seriously, watch this practice video and tell me this choreo isnt one of the most in-sync yet emotionally effective pieces of art you've ever seen. You don't even need the translations to understand the emotions behind it. But when I first saw the lyrics with the choreography, I swear I got chills. Ironically, once DK sang out this line:

my eyes got blurry. because thats the whole point of the song isn't it? thats the whole reason why they dont want to cry. because they realize their time together is limited, their heart is breaking but each second in their presence is so beautiful and precious, how dare tears get in the way of fully appreciating this time together. its beautiful and heartbreaking and then the timing of falling to their knees right after for a chorus just adds into the hopelessness.

And I know everyone talks about the bridge but like- the bridge.

Lying to yourself that everything is OK only to fall on your knees again begging "come back, come back, come back". The rawness in this choreo. The almost uncontrollable chest pops in this vulnerable, open position because these words are coming from their heart.

Also Hoshi still to this day calls this one of his favorite svt choreos. He doesn't brag much about his choreo nowadays but the interviews I could find of him proudly relaying the story behind the iconic "streetlight" choreo just 🥺🥺 me too buddy. choreo can be beautiful sometimes and he did so good with this one. 🥺🥺🥺 choreographer hoshi, king of my heart, thank you for making me fall in love with this song 🥺🙌

-

I'm Just Another Person Oh God by Daisy the Great (lyrics)

Ah, yes. the Daisy the Great phase. I could have picked the whole All You Need is Time album honestly bc the storyline it has in my head is so fucked up I can't handle it. But in the end, it was a toss up between including this one or Aluminum in this list bc those were the ones I had on loop. for. reasons. 🫣

Gosh, what to say about this song. other than admitting, wow was I going through something for this one. Haven't we all felt this way sometimes though? Wanting something so bad and it not working out and then stepping back like. "wait am i being greedy and selfish with this?" and the answer is no! like actually im just being entirely super normal with this. just like everyone else! only i am also filled with some bonus woe! like ?!??!?! wasnt that the biggest 2023 mood? idk it was for me lmao.

There is something to be said with this album though, that is particularly apparent in this song. It's that kind of cynical wistfulness of wanting something you had in the past. Passion? Naivete? Whatever it is. It's gone now bc of life, the passage of time, and you're being like so super brave and normal about it (clenched fist, arthur meme style). Everything is painted with a bit of regret and "why am i always like this", all wrapped up in a funky floaty song that is almost uncomfortably easy to listen and vibe to bc of how concerning those lyrics can be when you really listen. but hey ✌️ it really do be like that sometimes i guess. shoutout to them for the insane 20yearold something vibes bc daisy the great? they get it ahaha.

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Snow on Tha Bluff by J. Cole (lyrics)

Lol surprise.

if you ever want to know how i find music, a lot of my favorite songs are usually found by chance. a random deep dive fueled by curiosity or hyperfixation and every so often, my spotify will give me a gem. this particular discovery was bc for a variety of reasons, i decided to listen to a playlist of j.cole's music and was bopping along appropriately until this one came up and. i had to replay it multiple times.

its very understated. and raw. stream-of-consciousness.

i dont even know but i listened to this one a lot. even as i write this now, its been months since i listened to it but when i was making this list, i knew i had to include this one bc of how much ive thought about it.

there's something about understated vulnerability that always gets me in. nothing about this is showy nor does it really seem to have a point other than him needing to get this off his chest. yet there's such a poignant art to it. the instance he speaks about is v specific but the sentiment is still relatable and somehow resonated with me a lot.

idk i just think this song is so beautiful in its simplicity, which is something i think i should try to emulate more considering i said a whole lot of nothing in this section so i think ill stop this one here.

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I Don't Understand But I Luv U by Seventeen (Eng. Lyrics)

if i had to pick a song that defined my december, it would be this one. hands down, no contest. i think i listened to this nonstop the last two weeks of the year. and:

... yeah.

im realizing as i write this post that i spent a lot of this past year just thinking about music and life. seventeen's songs actually tend to be a bit of a slow burn on me so i had known and even heard this song a few times earlier this year but really it only hit me last month. yet despite listening to it nonstop, i cannot recite to you the actual english translation of the song. bc ultimately the translation doesnt matter. what i love about this song is already there in the title.

"I don't understand but I love you"

after all, isnt that love in its truest essense? love is accepting you may never truly understand everything about a person but choosing to love them anyway. love transcends all language and all understanding. its a choice and an action and this is the song that always reminds me of that when love gets hard.

idk what this all says about my 2023 but love is hard. family is hard. but in a way, i think that's what makes it all so beautiful. just as beautiful as this song. i can and will (and have!) listened to this song on repeat bc the ✨vibes✨ i think it might even have been the first song i listened to in 2024. that guitar riff is so sick and sensual. the ad libs are so cute - the little zoom! at 0:46 and smoke smoke! at 2:02, i sing along to it every time 🫣.

also hearing the girlies lose their minds when watching this performance on the big screen during their simulcast concert was so funny but endearing. i'd never but those girls sure love thirst traps skakakka

the story behind this song too just 🥺 hoshi getting absolutely blown by a fan's comment "i dont understand but i love you," repeating it, saying they could use it as part of their lyrics and then a few months later, this song comes out. you can literally see his eyes light up im just 🥺 so endeared. and the way its a Performance Unit song, a unit that is made of 50% foreign members, and that several pre-debut clips show members struggling with language barriers. idk this song is all so soft, it means so much to me and clearly means so much to them. and there we go, its all in the title for me ✨

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✨ if you made it all the way here, wow and thanks! here's to even more good music in 2024 ✨

[raewritesf1]

oof saw your post about the wip (maybe i just wanna be yours... is such a good title) and im so sorry for using your ask box as my personal echo chamber but this au has me in chokehold and gax is a niche topic still sadly. i imagine once they get together it is still going to still be a shitshow.

since george is still going to have issues with being an omega and how he wants to be perceived ('what if they think i am sleeping with him for red bull secrets?' or something along that vein) and so we reach the secret relationship stage.

imagine max all of sudden realising that he might be some kind of mistress lmao. like example they are making out in george's driver room and there's a knock and george frantically makes him hide. or the way he covers up his hickeys with layers of makeup or showers before he leaves to make sure max's scent isn't on him. oof angst and comedy. - angst anon

Oh Max would not take kindly to being treated like some type of mistress especially since George was the one so strongly pursuing him. It would very much be a confused why did you want me if you refuse to ever publicly be mind.

And it ofc wouldn't get resolved easily since both have such strong personality and have issues backing down at times and they would very much clash heads on this issue cause it would essentially boil down to public perception and the media and Max ofc couldn't give too shit about what the media would have to say about their relationship and sees no need to let people the don't even know influence it,, meanwhile George much understands the issue of media perception and unlike Max would have to care about how their relationship would come across because Unlike max he would be the one who'd have to face the media's vitriol. It would be his name getting dragged through the mud, plastered on every demeaning headline. he would be the one getting all the insulting comments.

They'd look at Max and see the alpha who finally tamed the little stuck up omega, meanwhile he'd be labeled the slut trying to sleep his way up.

[casspurrjoybell-27]

Claimed by the Beast - Chapter 13a

*Warning Adult Content*

Possession - Part 1

I'm going to kiss you now.

Everett isn't that far off from begging for it.

The dark look swirling in Knox's eyes burns brightly, the heat so intense that Everett swears he's beginning to melt from the inside out.

He's more excited about kissing this man than he had been about losing his virginity all those years ago.

That night, which later turned out to be a disappointment, doesn't compare in the slightest to what's happening right now, the scorching result of an attraction that has taken its sweet, sweet time to grow.

Everett told himself again and again that he needed to behave while living at the clubhouse and especially when around Knox.

His body, however, had rejected that ludicrous request every single time.

Why be good when it feels so much better being bad?

Having Knox's hands on him isn't enough.

Everett wants more, so much more.

His chest continues to rise and fall as he breathes heavier, faster, lust having put him in a violent chokehold.

The realization that this isn't a dream, that this is finally happening after weeks of teasing each other, has him scared he'll spontaneously combust before Knox can seal the deal.

The man doesn't look nervous at all, at least not on the outside, so what the fuck is taking him so long to wrap up what he started?

"Do it," Everett whispers, barely able to recognize his own needy voice. "Kiss me, damn it."

His quivering hands grip Knox's waist and slowly travel up his muscular back as if he's scared the man will poof and disappear in the next ten seconds.

"What are you waiting for?"

"Was giving you one last chance to back out," Knox says. "You sure you don't want to take it?"

"No, I'm not going anywhere."

What Everett does take is matters into his own hands.

He tilts his head back, pushes his mouth forward and closes his eyes when he feels their lips touch.

Holy shit.

Occasionally, Everett can be a bit of a dreamer.

But never did he think he'd ever get to experience a moment like this, one he had only seen in movies.

He feels it happen the second after they kiss.

He feels the world shift beneath their feet, pleasure dancing beneath his skin as Knox's tongue wastes little time tasting the inside of his mouth.

Everett, wholly and happily, succumbs to Knox's possession.

He feasts on it.

Drowns in it.

Becomes one with it entirely.

Fuck, does he feel what I'm feeling?

He has to feel it, too.

He has to know.

The kiss begins and ends all too soon as the sound of footsteps slows to a stop beside them.

It's like a bucket of cold water gets poured over Everett when Knox pulls away from him with a deep growl to check out the sudden intrusion.

The man's irritation gradually morphs into anger as he guides Everett behind him before turning around to face one of his brothers.

"Can I help you with something, Mason?" Knox scowls, widening his stance despite there not being a threat. "Because I'm pretty fucking busy here."

"I'll be quick. So I finally have an update on the..." Mason pauses when he catches Everett peeking from behind Knox.

He flashes the boy a friendly smile that Knox immediately disrupts with a low grunt, urging him to keep talking.

"You know what... Uh, just forget it. You two were obviously in the middle of something. I'm sorry for ruining it."

"It's okay..." Everett starts.

"It's not," Knox interrupts, still glaring at Mason.

"Oh my God, can you please chill?" Everett slaps Knox on the arm, then smiles at Mason. "Really. It's okay. We were just, um, talking about what we wanted for dinner tonight."

Mason nods, playing along with the blatant lie.

"Yeah, of course."

Out of all the members that Everett has met up to this point, Mason is the only one who doesn't look like he belongs here.

He's tall and skinny with sandy brown hair and hazel eyes.

His slender body contains not a single piercing or tattoo.

Everett wouldn't stop and walk in the opposite direction if he saw Mason coming his way on the street.

The guy's vibe is more of a surfer boy than member of a dangerous motorcycle club.

Then again, looks can be deceiving.

Everett knows better than to judge a book by its cover.

Mason has clearly put in the work, whatever that consists of, to become a patched member, so he can't be as innocent as he looks.

Everyone living at the clubhouse probably has blood on their hands. Some more than others.

"Hey, listen. I don't want to cause any problems, so..."

Everett steps from behind Knox, trying his best to appear calm and collected despite getting caught red-handed locking lips with, allegedly, the deadliest member of The Fallen Angels.

"I can just leave and give you two a moment alone if it's something important that needs to be discussed in private."

"No."

Knox doesn't give Everett the chance to sneak off.

He grabs him by the hand and tugs him right back to his side.

"We've got other places to be, so Mason will have to wait."

Arching a brow and tilting his head slightly, Knox dares Mason to object.

"Isn't that right?"

"Yeah, man. Whatever you say."

Mason gives them an apologetic look before slowly backing away.

"Just, uh, try to come find me whenever you become available again. I'm going to try to hunt down Pres and tell him what I discovered."

He smirks at Knox once he's a safe enough distance away.

"You two lovebirds have fun and play safely."

"Better watch it, you little shit..." Knox snarls.

Mason sprints off, laughing up a storm before Knox can snatch him up and force his words back down his throat.

"I can't believe this has happened again. Another interruption. I swear we can't get a fucking break around here. It's like they exist to keep us from..." Knox exhales a deep breath, shaking his head. "Never mind."

"Another time, I guess."

Everett giggles and pushes up on his toes to kiss Knox on the cheek.

So not what he had in mind for them minutes ago.

"We should get cleaned up. I feel gross and sticky... but like, not in the good way."

Knox laughs.

"You and your filthy mouth."

"Shut up. I know you like it," Everett smirks.

"Very much," Knox says.

"Let's get out of here before we get another fucking visitor."

[zerobaseonefics]

i am so so sorry for not being active here but i had a lot of stress because of university shit etc (i still do but not as much as i did last week) (and this week)

you should adopt me as a sister frfr!!

yes about hanbin: he said that you both are already planning the wedding??? you should have told me… #betrayed

and i took my nails off (if thats how you say it😟) and they were no and i had to cut my natural long nails 😔😔

no cuz i lost a lot money now on enhypen albums (i love them sm wtf its so sudden but after i found out that they were in poland (i found out sbout this during they were there) my enhypen fangirl era came back and yk i bought the dark blood album i dont remmeber what version but its dark blue and i pulled sunghoon and sunoo(AGAIN) but i wanted heeseung and jake #depressed (i got jay post card tho) and i csnt find people who sell the original photocards☹️ LIKE GIRL IM ABOUT TO GO CRAZY ABOUT HEEJAYKE LIKE OMFG NOOO NAHH WTF WHAT::;;;;::;;:::&&&&

how did the macarons taste like (good bad mid) ?!??,,? i will buy you a whole macarons factory just so you csn eat them everyday for free 😋😋

DONT CALL ME A ROOKIE!! its the first time it happened (taking a nap and then not being able to sleep again) like i take naps almost everyday because they are so lovely😔😔 but yes no school no university no anything for a long time😋 (just work) (like 20€ per week) (im teaching 2 people english so not a real job tho)

anyway my brother (6 months old) (literally 18 years age difference💀) is so annoying but so cute like bro i hate him sometimes and then day after i love him the most😐😐😐

oh and my hesrt was broken by a guy… he has the same name as i do (unisex name) we were 8-9 years at the same school and he had a crush on me 5 years ago but i didnt have a cursh on him back then so i told him that we are just friends and now since 2-3 years i started to have a crush on him but now i found out that he has a crush on deomeone else (this is mainly the reason why im so delulu rn) (i was always delulu but this is literally getting so out of hand) i also started kind of disliking zb1 i mean not that i dont like them anymore its just im not keeping up with their content now as much as i did like bro my ult groups are always changing (once it was shinee then svt then got7 then nct then gidle then enhypen then txt then svt again then treasure then zb1 and xikers and now its new jeans, le sserafim, xikers, ateez and enhypen (just that i dont keep up eith xikers and ateez content that much)😐😐😐😐 get me some help like i literally love them for a time then lose interesy in them and find another group and then its repeating all the time ykyk omg im so no

i understand bro i went through it myself so don't worry 😭 how's it going? i have no idea how you choose your college in germany so if you wanna talk abt it i'm interested 🤭 hope you'll be able to go wherever you want

bitch you're already adopted ‼️ i've always wanted a little sister

yk i didnt know how to tell you this cuz i'm a bit shy..... but he told you now so you know!! i'm not fully a betrayer!!

OH THEY WERE NATURAL??? the length was so pretty i thought it was not. it's a shame you had to cut it

enha have me on a chokehold fr this cb pure you don't understand 😀 they're also my ult but i've been not keeping up as much as before with their content. this album was just soooo good and now i'm in this enhypen shit forever bro like that's it they got my interest back

nOOOOOO 💔 BRO IM SURE YOU'LL FIND PPL WITH THE ORIGINAL IT'S A BIG GROUP IT'S EASIER

girl the macarons were awful. too sugary (i should've expect this from algeria they love getting diabetes...) </3 i felt like i was eating blocks of sugar there was no other taste i wanted to cry ok. waiting for you to buy me a macaron factory or else im gonna have to marry someone who makes them properly.

this may seem like 'not a real job' but even this is very important on your resume when you'll look for work later! it's still a great experience

that's every little brothers 🙏🏼 i have two and there's days i wanna crush them to the ground and days i wanna give them everything </3 but the age difference between you two is so big!! you know what's cool about that? you can design that kid 🤭 you can teach him how to be a good person, give him good taste, everything! that's the best thing about younger siblings

hE HAS ANOTHER CRUSH NOW?? HOW COULD HE MOVE ON FROM THE PURE??? nah he has no idea what he's missing rn 👹 don't be heartbroken over... a man 😧 okay?? move on too >:( he's no heejake >:(

ABOUT THE ULT THING. i have no idea how ppl keep the same ult for such a long time like.... i mean mine are pretty much stable too but yk there's time where you lost interest as you get into a new group. i always end up coming back to my ult but there are period yk. when i see people holding fanbases for example i'm amazed cuz how do you diligently wake up everyday and do everything about one and onlY ONE GROUP??? AREN'T YOU TIRED??? AREN'T YOU FED UP WITH THEM AT SOME POINT???

plus my problem is i'm here for the music only 🙏🏼 i don't like the music my ult put out? honestly i'm not hyping the comeback or anything. my older sister listens to kpop and fr no matter if the song's good or not she votes on every music show, she streams the song, eveRYTHING. i don't even do all that when i like the song tbh... i think it's funny to see how everyone has a different way of stanning

[fandomsarefamily1966]

I don't know why the idea of star crossed lovers has me in a chokehold all of a sudden. Maybe it's the idea of fighting for someone, or someone fighting for you, even when the entire world is against you. Even if it might end in pain, or death, or ruin, because love is worth it no matter what it takes. Because YOU are worth it no matter what it takes.

[imvampz]

Aaliyah x Brooklyn

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Aaliyah POV :

Alone in my thoughts again about our past intimacy. There I was, craving her attention and her touch. It's been three years since our breakup. Our past memory gives me a bad feeling. All I could remember is her last words haunting me. "There's nothing fucking there between us...we're fucking over."

Hearing her cold tone of her voice sent an uncomfortable shiver down my spine as tears flow down my face. Her words hit my core like an open blade. At that moment I knew our romance died down. She left me with a wound. Yet again I missed her. Brooklyn knew her presence would leave me trapped.

"Yoo lili I'm here mama."  my best friend said closing the door.

"Hey bookie." I smiled giving her a warm hug.

Angie has been there through thick and thin. She's been supporting me ever since Brooklyn left. I truly do love her for sticking my side.

"So how have you been." Angie ask sipping on her soda.

"I don't know Ang, today hits three years since the break up." I felt Angie hand rub on my back.

"I know it's not okay, but everything happens for a reason, her energy wasn't matching yours." I just hummed listening to her advice. She was right, Brooklyn left not my fault simple.

"Thank you ang I really don't know what I would do without you." I truthfully said smiling. She's really a lifesaver.

"Angie I'm kinda tired, wanna take a nap together." She nodded getting on the right side of the bed.

Hopefully I can manage sleeping this through. I need this sadness to go away. I just need some sleep for tonight.

[4:38 am]

I woke up hearing a knock at the door. I checked the time on my phone. It's four in the morning. Who the hell could be at my door at this time? I groaned feeling the cold wind hitting me instantly when I got up.

"Man I really don't play about people at my door." I mumbled walking down stairs.

I opened the door...just to see Brooklyn. After three painful fucking years..she's standing here at my door.

"Hey mama, nice to see you again" she said in a raspy tone. My stomach instantly grew butterflies.

Simp ass bitch.

I attempted to slam my door but she caught it immediately.

"After three fucking years yo bitch ass decided to come back." I yelled in her face.

"I didn't come over for that." She sighs rolling her eyes.

I pushed her "you know it's the fact you say you didn't come over here for my bullshit YET YOU'RE STILL HERE please be so fucking for real right now." I felt my anger rise. The fucking audacity of her to say that to me.

Brooklyn grabbed me by my arm pushing me on the couch.

"Lower your tone with me, you know what happen last time." Her voice sent a tingle down my spine.

Damn this girl has me in a chokehold. Every. Single. Time.

She chuckles as her hand strokes my face. "Look at you wrapped around my finger fucking pathetic I barely said or didn't anything." The degrading words hit my core. I whimpered in response.

"Why did you come back." I try to ignore the tension getting back to important moment right now.

She lifts up my chin "I honestly don't know it's just I miss you, your aura, your voice, everything."

"Prove it then or otherwise get the fuck out."

Is she going to prove her worth of being here? What if she leaves again? Thoughts running in my mind. I don't know what to feel right now. Everything feels very overwhelming.

Why all of the sudden she wants to come back?

Gosh the desperation I have...what am I doing with myself?   

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Hello you may not know me but I used to be a writer on Wattpad. I’ve decided to create a book last month called “trilogy wlw imagines.” I decided I want to post some images on here and Wattpad…lol enjoy

[evita-shelby]

I told you that angst is addictive 😈

Every fic gets better with a little bit of heartbreak

Btw i do not know if your busy but whem you have time could you just tell me some what tommy did after you found him in bed ? You can just answer in like a response , really hate to take up much of your time its just that fic has got me in a chokehold

Thank you for the amazing fic and again ignore if im asking to much from you ( i say this vcs its like the third fic i ask 😂)

Ok since i don't feel like writing it in fic form imma just write it out here

Ada is the only one to react normally at being found in bed with his brother’s wife

Y/n tells Tommy she's leaving him because there is nothing left

Tommy can't believe the woman he treated like a doormat would leave him and acts as if she'll change her mind

About this time he realizes that you took everything that once belonged to grace from his wedding ring to the paintings he had of her and burned them

Polly appears and tells him that he was the author of their misery tells him "you loved a dead woman over pearl,ruby and amber" hemce why their daughters were named after precious stones

We find out that charlie is also dead by a mysterious cancer like Ruby and realized that his unhealthy obsession with Grace killed everyone he loved including Polly(Polly wasn't murdered here just got a sudden heart attack) and John (who would've survived his wounds but his heart stopped all of a sudden)

Tommy lets a coin toss decide if he should stop you from leaving, heads for yes tails for no. It's heads

So he agrees to file for divorce on the condition that you let him really try this time while you wait

You think it doesn't matter anyways, but then Ada breaks up with you because of the Guilt and people becoming suspicious about the two of you. She moves back to Boston

So you let yourelf be vulnerable with Tommy and actually come to enjoy being with him, cuz for once in your life he is not a piece of shit to you

So it comes to no surprise that you fall in love with him in the months leading up to the divorce

What does come as a surprise is that you get pregnant and that is enoigh to dredge up the past and really have a much needed conversation with Tommy about your three previous children

You have a boy and you're relieved because a girl would've been to painful for you

The two of you decide to blow up Arrow House and move permanently to London

The day to sign the divorce comes and you can't bring yourself to sign it because you realize you love tommy and that he loves you

[halaboyz]

pairing: royalty, bff! haechan x royalty, gn! reader (implied dressing of female, though it has they/them pronouns) genre: light angst, 19th-century setting wc: 3k warnings: profanities, self-indulgent. tell me if i missed anything! HAPPY BIRTHDAY FULLSUN ! n/a: i literally talk to u everyday i don't have anything to say i appreciate u tho

THE HEARTBREAK COLLECTION. req. by mika.

It was when you were ten years old. When you first met such an oddball, hiding outside the big windows of your room, peeking as you practiced your posture with a book in your head and a terror teacher inside the room with you.

You didn't understand why, for whatever reason, he was bothering you. You didn’t even know the boy, you even thought he was just a lost boy from outside the big walls of your castle. So when you furrow your eyebrows while the teacher paid attention to another student, he takes advantage of it and makes a weird face.

You were just on the brink of tears and you can’t be happier that someone made an effort to put a smile on your face. So when you stifle a laugh while he continues to be the oddball that he is, the book wobbles at the top of your head, he runs away when he sees the teacher head to you with a stern look.

You surely had remembered his face that day. For the reasons: one, he made you smile. And two, he was the reason for a tighter lecture.

“Lee Haechan if you don’t want your ass whipped, I gladly suggest you leave,” You exaggeratedly mouthed to the man outside the windows, all grown up but still having the mindset of a child.

It was still like you were ten years old.

Yes, exactly like ten years old when he childishly mocks your face back.

“Hey, I am going to need you to focus!” Hitting the table in front of you with her long, thin stick, you flinch in surprise as the book wobbles on the top of your head, wriggling in an effort to find the center of gravity and balance the book. “Lee Haechan, that kid…” Your teacher shakes her head and glares at you, and after she walks away only do you stifle a snort because damn, you weren’t the only one who’s going to suffer now.

“Right, I’ve been thinking about it a lot. Corsets should definitely be optional, not mandatory.” Giggling as you stride through the big hallways, you and Eunyi stop at the sudden, stern voice echoing throughout the mansion.

“You’re such a troublemaker, Lee Hae— have it held high!” And that familiar, thin stick that you’ll hear every where. 

“Lee Haechan just never rests, doesn’t he?” Eunyi clicks her tongue, already squinting her eyes to see far enough Haechan kneeling outside a room, the teacher in front of him. His arms were holding five thick books, probably history books, high up in the skies as he muttered continuous apologies to satisfy the woman in front of him.

You hide a smirk as you walk past through eyes already holding a teasing glint.

It was the first time he looked at you like that. Or maybe it was only because he was looking up at you— you don’t know. But it felt different. The way his eyes looked up at you in such awe and… amazement. Like how it feels when you see your first love— your only love, for the first time. And it was as if time slowed down for the both of you, and that was the second you knew you fell for him.

Hard.

“Hey, are you good?” Eunyi shakes your arm and you away from your fantasy, already walked a distance from Haechan as you inhaled sharply.

“I’ll be damned.” 

“y/n!” It was that same, harmonious voice that called for you, ringing in your ears ever so softly as the heels of your shoes stopped with a click on the marble floor, turning around to be tackled inelegantly, Haechan’s arms circling your neck to put you on chokehold. “Where are you going?” 

As you try to choke out a word, Haechan only realizes he still has you on hold and lets go of you, giggling as he looks at you coughing harshly.

“I could’ve died,” 

“You didn’t.” Haechan’s honey voice cooed as this time, his arms looped around yours. “Where were you going?” 

“None of your business,” You raise your fist to threaten punching him, only for him to avoid it a foot away in a second. “Are you following me?”

“Me?” Haechan snorts loudly, “Following you? For what? To see you go into some boring posture class and completely fail it because your corset is too itchy?” 

You glare at him as he spurts out every fact that you have been muttering whenever you find yourself beside him after posture class, stretching your back as he ices the back of your palm before it bruises, cause of the continuous hits of your instructor’s thin, long stick. 

“Just skip that class! You’re going to have your pretty hands fractured one day there,” He then takes your hand to examine it, a pout forming in his lips when he sees spots of bruises forming faintly. “Who even hits their students? More importantly, you’re royalty!” 

Taking your hands back with a sharp inhale, you swallow the lump on your throat first before tucking your hands behind you. 

“I know. Even my mom knows about it, but nothing really changed so I can’t do anything about it.” You sigh out, unconsciously caressing your hand that Haechan just held while you hold back a smile.

“Oh, you can do something about it.” He stops on his tracks and faces you with a sly smile, as if he had just thought of the best plan anyone could think of. “My royalty, would you be able to take my lovely offer and trust me?” He mocks to bow down and offers his hand, waiting for you to take it.

“No way, Haechan. I can never trust you with these things,” 

His offered hand comes in contact with his chest, as if an arrow had struck him as he acts hurt, as you stare at him embarrassingly. 

“God, stop. You’re so dramatic,” Pushing his face away, you were about to walk when you hear Haechan chuckle, then tugging your wrist to drag you from the way of your destination. 

“The castle’s big. There is no way they’ll search a big place like this for one student,” Haechan says between breaths, glancing at you from time to time to see you, the most uncoordinated person he knows, not tripping over their own foot. 

“Can we— stop, damn it,” You try catching your breath but Haechan wastes no second to tighten his hold on your wrist that you were desperately escaping from. “Where the hell…”

“We’re here!” Haechan finally stops with a big sigh, head turning everywhere slowly as he takes in the beauty of the large, closed garden. Birds were flying around with sweet melodies of its sounds as it roamed the fresh trees, wind only minimal from the smallest open windows from the glass roof. 

More than breathless now— quite literally and not because of the amazing view you have failed to have known about your whole life, Haechan’s hands unconsciously slide down to intertwine with yours from your wrist, a proud smile growing on his face when he sees you in awe.

“Actually, not just yet.” Haechan tugs on your hand once again and before he even starts dragging you, your heels dig to the ground.

“Haechan, I swear to the heavens, if we run again, I’m losing a heartbeat.” With Haechan’s loud laugh, when he tightens his hold on yours only do you realize that you were now intertwining hands, making you blush harder, given that you were already red from all the running.

“We don’t need to run. I just have a special place in here that anyone doesn’t really know about,” He finally starts walking, leadin you to a bunch of tall bushes by the corner— or so you thought. Haechan pushes the bushes aside carefully and it makes your mouth agape.

“How did you even know about this?” You suppose Haechan put that blanket in the middle of the what was supposed to be small field in the corner of the garden. There were already remnants of plastics of candies and wares of— well, probably cookies from the kitchen, and another unopened ware of food you can’t fathom what.

“Well, these bushes really, really grow fast.” Haechan explains, urging you to sit on the blanket as he cleans his mess. “When it grew out as tall as me, it connected with each other and I guess they just forgot this space existed— or they just didn’t bother cutting these bushes again,”  

“Yeah, I asked how you found this.” Though what he just said was something new for you, you sarcastically retorted at Haechan which earns you both a chuckle. 

“Okay. To be honest, I was roleplaying a scene in here alone, then i tripped over some stupid rock that was there at a wrong time and when I try holding on to the bushes for support, I kinda just slid through,” 

It was late. You were already laughing your ass off at his embarrassing story, right when “roleplaying” even left his lips. 

“Roleplay?!” You point at him, your other hand opening the ware full of mallows and stuffing your mouth with it as you laughed and teased the growing red Haechan. 

“Stop, I knew you were going to tease me,” Haechan whines, plopping beside you and snatching the mallows.

“Come on, it’s rare that it’s finally me teasing you, not the other way around. Give me some slack,” You turned to face him as he deadpanned at you, and you almost burst the mallows all over his face if only you didn’t stop your mouth with your hand. 

“So cute!” Haechan randomly squeals and pinches both of your cheeks, while you struggle to chew the mallows and swallow it before it spills out because of all the pinching.

“Stop, good heavens,” Haechan finally lets your cheeks free and leans back with his hands for support, looking particularly nowhere and just enjoying the sight, the peace, and your presence. “What were you really roleplaying for?” 

It was just a genuine and light question, so the both of you don’t laugh. You knew Haechan didn’t really care about things— how he’s a royal, how he should be particularly sure about his future and wants, how everybody is already literally begging for Haechan to think about what he wanted to be if he doesn’t want to be crowned king.

Just a little side note though. If Haechan wants to act and has passion in it, you would definitely support it all the way. So roleplaying might be just one of his trials.

“Isn’t this place perfect?” Haechan starts, sighing of something of content. He watches you lay down on the blanket and hears you hum. Before he continues, he pulls your arm to stretch, setting his head on it as it served as his pillow. He keeps his hold in your hand, afraid that you’ll pull it out out of annoyance. But you don’t. You’re too fallen in love to be even faking annoyance. The way he’s just beside you, you wanted to answer ‘Yes, Haechan. If it’s just us, in here, like this. More than perfect.’ but your lips were sealed tight, your eyes stayed at him who wasn’t even looking at you. “A perfect place for a confession.” 

“What?” It was the only word that left your lips, jerking a little as you tried meeting his eyes, but he only waves you off. Mixed feelings. It was what you felt. For whom? You didn’t even know. 

But what you knew is that Haechan only knows a handful of people here inside the castle, given that his family doesn’t want people knowing his kind-of-rebellious behavior. 

And maybe, just maybe— Haechan fancies you. It makes you smile a little, and maybe a tad bit of anticipation toward the man.

“I was thinking of Royal Ball. I’ll call them right here. I might even set a little dance floor here. Just… us.” And Haechan looks at you. 

Who wouldn’t fall for his eyes? For his smile? For his genuineness? 

Because you? 

You had fallen way deeper than you know. Way deeper. 

“Royal Ball, huh.” You kept your smile to yourself, acting nonchalant as you nod, heaving a small sigh as you let your eyes rest, reminiscing the feeling of him beside you. “Since when did you like someone?”

“I don’t know.” Haechan doesn’t even hesitate a second, as he’s a person who doesn’t hold back in telling how he felt, and feels. “I think it was something the like of love at first sight. I’ve always seen them around, but then when I was getting punished by a teacher in a hallway— Heavens, the sun lit through the walls of the castles and landed on their face… they are godly.” 

Your mind runs back to the time you and Eunyi walked past him when he was kneeling and asked to hold five thick books outside in the hallways, and it made your heart beat faster.

Anticipation goes over your doubtfulness, and you think maybe, just maybe, it is you. You hope it is you. 

Royal Ball wasn’t the ball you imagined it to be. You thought it’d just be some small gathering of royalties and their families, but it actually was something bigger. So you had to exert more effort in hiding your sneakers under your dress, avoiding anyone who took notice of your overly confident strides.

Your eyes only keeps finding one particular head once you step foot on the big room, your lips still fighting a smile as you tried calming yourself down.

“y/n, can you please get in here?” Your mom’s voice booms on your ear as you shake your head to reality, smiling at them as you approach your mom and dad with two familiar people.

“Mom, Dad.” You smile, getting into your mom’s embrace as you bow at the guests, “Queen and King Lee,” They return the greeting with a small bow and a smile.

“Princess y/n.” They chimed, looking proudly at you. “I can tell you’ve put extra effort into your look today,” Oh heavens, was it that obvious? Haechan’s mother squints her eyes at you teasingly, exactly like the eyes of your beloved.

“Yeah, actually, I am anticipating something by the end of tonight,” You truthfully answer, earning you small oh’s and hmm’s from your parents and Haechan’s parents.

“Well then, we wouldn’t want to be the barrier to this something tonight, would we?” Haechan’s mother pats her husband’s arm, giggling. “You should go and enjoy tonight.” 

“Then I’ll get going. I hope you enjoy tonight too,” You smile, but right before you turn to walk away, they stop you.

“Right, lovely, just one more thing. Have you seen my boy?” Your eyebrows perk at the mention, shaking your head.

“Didn’t he come with you?” 

“He came way earlier than us, said something about preparing priorly about some—- oh,” Haechan’s father stops mid-sentence, and only do you realize what he realized a moment later.

“Oh please, no,” You chuckle, lightly waving your hands in front of your face. You had to reject every advances their statements had to bring regarding their son until they had finally let you go after a few minutes, Haechan’s mother winking at you.

“Damn, when is he going to ask me?” You mutter, eyes still looking around as you dragged your gown around for someone. “Oh, Eunyi!” Rather than who you were looking for the very first second, your bestfriend catches your eye and you run to her, preparing to bombard her with questions because for all you know, she didn’t want to come to the ball. “I though—-”

“y/n, I’m really sorry. I have somewhere to go, I’ll find you later!” After giving you a hug, she comes running out of the ballroom to who knows where, leaving you the most confused as you found a seat, giving up on finding Haechan. 

When you’ve had your third glass of juice for the day, you finally feel your bladder slowly getting full, disappointedly walking out of the ballroom to the bathroom nearby. After doing your business do you see yourself pouting in the mirror.

“God, what was supposed to be the happiest night, turned out to be tiring.” You hiss, “If you don’t find me Haechan, fine. I’ll go there myself.” You jump at your idea, carrying the useless gown as you sprinted in front of the garden. “Finally.” 

It was just like last time, the time when you went here with Haechan. 

Peaceful. And it was more peaceful at night. 

The moon shined brightly against the window roof, and even served as the light more than the lampposts inside the garden. You slowly made your way to the bushes, careful not to make a noise to be able to surprise him. But as you step closer to the bushes… there was music playing. Steps filling the music. 

You knew.

Step. Slide. Step. Slide. Step. Slide. Step. Slide— Waltz. 

Hildegard Knef’s Fur Mich, Soll’s Rote Rosen Regnen.

Exactly what you had the song in mind when you want someone to slow dance you under the moonlight.

Now you’re watching the love of your life create your wishes with somebody else.

What had gone wrong? Wasn’t it you? When did Haechan and Eunyi even meet? When did they even fall? 

And it hits you.

Ah, it was always there. It has always been there. 

You were just too busy feeding into your own fantasy what your brain and heart wants. It had never been you and Haechan. It has always been him and Eunyi, and then there’s just you.

The moment Haechan felt, it was just between him and Eunyi, and then in the sidelines was you.

As you watch them through the small gap between the bushes, you could only suffer in the void as you swallowed all the whining and the sobs of the pain your heart felt. 

And for the last time, you mutter the words you have always prayed for to whoever was in the heavens.

“Please don’t be in love with someone else…” As you cried in pain, muffling your hopeless sobs with your hand. “Please don’t have somebody waiting on you…” Like a chant spilling out of your lips, you hoped some magic will do its work. 

But nothing beats the enchantment both Haechan and Eunyi was feeling right now, foreheads together as they swayed through the smooth melody the song gave, eyes closed as they feel each other’s warmth and presence under the moon. 

And again, it hits you. These words you have always prayed to the above have backfired at you—- somebody else? There was no you in the first place. 

There was no you in his love story. Haechan was never in love with you. 

And so, he indeed didn’t fall for someone else— you.

if someone asked to be tagged i'm so sorry (its probably down my notifs) >< nct dream is a misc group in my works but if ever i can still add them to my permanent taglist! if you want to be tagged to the future nct dream fics, drop them in my inbox <3

[inmyarmswrappedin]

I would say, based on this clip, that Druck is targeting a younger demographic than it used to. Some other thoughts:

As the social media manager confirmed yesterday, the topic of SA won't be touched upon this season! I was quite sure yesterday that this is what they were going for, so I had to recalibrate a bit.

So, I would say that Mailin likes Finn and, it feels like, has liked him for quite a while.

Fatou and Mailin are done revising for the upcoming Bio final. Fatou asks Mailin to see if Ava and Nora have any plans. Nora says Finn is throwing a party because his family is gone for the weekend. This makes Mailin sit up straight, and ask if only Nora and Josh are invited or anyone can come. Nora's like, "I mean I'm sure everyone's gonna be there lol?"

Mailin tells Fatou, who's like, "okay let's go!" Mailin asks if Finn will actually want them there since he didn't invite them directly. Fatou's like, "uh I'm sure as Kieu My's girlfriend, I'm automatically invited." She reassures Mailin that he didn't tell them directly because he probs understood the invite would make the rounds through his social circle.

Then Mailin is like, "UGH I don't have anything to wear!" Fatou's like, "why am I in a 13-year old show all of a sudden?" But then she picks up a top of Mailin's we've already seen and says that looks cute. Mailin's like, "Cute?!" as if she doesn't want to look cute, but maybe HOT, or smart, or something, idk.

Then they talk about where they're going to get the booze, if they're going to buy beer or borrow some of Mailin's mom's booze. Fatou thinks mom-booze is better because they won't get a hangover.

Cue the usual s1 girl squad assemble montage. This clip is very, very reminiscent of s1 vibes. It doesn't come across so much as the vibes we got from s2-s4, but more like, "omg going to a party for the first time with my girlfriendsssss and the guy I like is gonna be there!!!"

We get a quick look at the side characters like Isi's boyfriend who gets a line, and Lou who asks where the kitchen is. This is my first time seeing Lou in a clip and she was just so amazing at asking where the kitchen was. 5/5 stars.

Ava talks with some guy who knows Finn from boxing. S4 reference! Kieu My and Fatou are harassing Finn and asking him to box. Finn looks at Mailin all embarrassed and says not now. Then he says he does a kind of boxing that is more spiritual, mind and body. (Chess boxing apparently.)

Dance scene, but Mailin is in the sidelines. Finn comes over and they kind of hang around without saying anything. Mailin asks where Josh and Nora are. (Are they FUCKING?) No, they're just getting them pizzas. Mailin's all, "omg I could eat a pizza right now... Even though I ate earlier." Finn says that eating is the best way to relieve the stress from the exams, because he's not some kind of floozy who brings up orgasms at every opportunity I suppose. Mailin is very touched by this.

Mailin raids Finn's fridge and continues drinking. Suddenly she's like sloppy drunk. Now she's with Isi, Kieu My and Fatou. They're playing FMK. Isi's bf doesn't know what FMK is or how it works because he actually grew up in a cult and only recently has managed to leave. (Cult survivor rep!) In all actuality, it's probs because Druck's younger demographic who's only now tuning in, might not know what FMK is.

Anyway Mailin is asked to choose between Isi and a couple other people. She's like, "Fuck no one! And marry no one because that's such an outdated institution jdvhdjv omg I'm so dunrk right now..." (Edit: LOU takes this moment to be like, "right on, sister!" My god how I wish Lou broke free of the Sporty Spice chokehold and hit on Ava or something...)

Finn shows up with a hotdog and it's like, "it's just a game, you don't fuck or marry or kill anyone for real." Mailin says that he did actually kill the pig in his hand. Wow, this banter is really getting me going. Finn's like, "yeah I guess you're right..." And then Isi's like, "I CANNOT TAKE THIS SEXUAL TENSION ANYMORE. Finn, FMK? Angela Merkel (Isi you're so out of date, is Olaf Scholz too good for you?), myself, or Mailin?" Isi also apologizes to her bf, because, having grown up in a cult, he doesn't realize this is just a game and Finn won't proceed to fuck Isi immediately.

Anyway, Finn looks like a deer caught in headlights. Kieu My's like, "you've already killed the pig so who do you want to fuck COME ON." Mailin realizes she cares a bit too much about the answer despite her strict no fuck and no marriage policy, gets queasy and goes to barf in the bathroom. Unfortunately we don't get to know if Finn is crushing on Mailin back!

[rendevousz]

reunited

req: i was wondering if i could request a natasha x teen daughter reader where the reader has really bad social anxiety please? maybe where the reader was in the red room with natasha but given to hydra once the red room was taken down and natasha has been looking for her ever since she left the red room. on a mission to take down a hydra base natasha finally finds reader, and it's super emotional for the both of them and they're just happy to have each other back. natasha knows about readers social anxiety from when she was younger and sees that it's only gotten worse now, so she's super sweet and understanding. she saves the reader from the base and comforts her the whole way home because she's scared of all of the new people also on the jet (the other avengers). the reader lives with natasha at the compound with everyone else and natasha is just great about her social anxiety and never pushes her out of her comfort zone and comforts her when she has panic attacks. sorry if that's a lot, but thank you so much! i love your fics sooo much, you're such an amazing writer!!! 💖💖💖

mother figure!nat x fem!teen!reader

summary: nat finally finds you after years of looking.

word count: 4083

notes: i didn't make them peers in the red room because then they'd have to be around the same ages but i made them meet at the red room. also i didn't know how to write about her having social anxiety so i hope you don't mind that i didn't 😓 hope you like this <33

"stop," madame b's authoritative voice commanded and all of you stopped dancing. all of your peers seemed to be struggling to stand still on their battered feet, some breathing heavily but who could blame them? you had all been instructed to dance for hours now. you had to dance until you couldn't anymore.

your head faced madame b but your eyes landed on your best friend, veronika, for a split second. she seemed in pain and you vowed to check on her after whatever announcement your supervisor had for you. you stood tall, clenching your jaw in order to not show that you were in pain or out of breath.

madame b's gaze flickered to you for a second, her lip lifting up on one side for a brief moment before her face hardened once again.

"i have someone special here today. she's here to observe your training and if necessary, teach what you girls lack. she has long graduated this academy, please welcome miss natasha romanova."

you jolted awake, panting hard at the memory that just played in your dreams. you looked around you, seeing the same cell wall you had been put in for the past three years. after the fall of the red room academy where you were from, another organisation came and swooped you in, not wanting to waste your skills. you were the only one they took, having heard much about your abilities and reputation in the red room.

the girls stood all around you and veronika, watching the two of you spar tirelessly after hours of endless ballet. natasha and madame b watched the match closely, eyes trained on your techniques and movements.

after natasha had introduced herself to all of you, madame b had instructed her supposedly two best students—you and veronika— to demonstrate a true spar between skilled assassins.

while you were reluctant to attack your best friend, she had other plans, one that included impressing her idol who stood mere metres away from her. you were shocked when she started attacking you. never had she obeyed a command against you so quick.

you had to put away your initial shock to start attacking back in order to not get hurt by the hands of your own best friend. the look in her eyes was different, almost animalistic. it wasn't like the one she had when you two were laid in your beds side to side at night, handcuffed to it while you talked about your deepest struggles being in the academy. it wasn't the same one she had when you reassured her that she was doing okay whenever she said she would never be as good as you were at this whole assassin thing. it wasn't the same innocently surprised one she had just moments ago when she was addressed as one of madame b's best students.

this wasn't your best friend. this was a girl blinded by her desire to impress. she wanted to show natasha that she was the better one out of you two. your heart broke when you saw her desperation. it was obvious in the way she fought you.

it wasn't long before you had her in a chokehold, the girl struggling to get your grip off of her. your face visibly faltered, eyes tearing up slightly when you heard her whimpers. natasha took notice of this.

your lips were quivering when you turned to madame b. a simple nod from your trainer had you whispering a strained 'i'm sorry, i love you' in her ear before you broke her neck. the girl fell limp in your arms, dropping down to the mat, dead. you panted heavily as you stepped away from her body.

"good. this is what i expect of all of you," madame b turns to your peers, the stone cold look back on her face. "one thing you need to perfect though, y/n, is your emotions. don't get emotional over things that don't matter. i saw your inner conflict. veronika would have no reluctancy to end you if you were the one in the chokehold. she was more mentally prepared to be a ruthless assassin. you're lucky you're more skilful than she is. she would have no hesitation to kill you, close companion or not."

you swallowed that lump in your throat, biting the insides of your cheeks to prevent crying right then and there. "you have a lot of potential, y/n. don't let your emotions ruin it. i have high hopes for you." she spoke once again, before dismissing everyone.

you left the room with a heavy heart, turning to look at veronika's body one last time before leaving quickly so you could break down where no one else could witness.

you rushed to the staircase where you and veronika would sneak away all the time when you were supposed to be having lunch. you two would always sit under those stairs, talk about anything and everything you could. your tears were now freely rolling down your face.

"hey," you heard a voice say and you quickly wiped your tears away. you looked up and saw that it was none other than natasha. "miss romanova," you breathed out, scrambling to get up before she placed a gentle hand on your shoulder, the woman seating herself next to you on the floor, under the staircase.

"that must've been hard for you," she spoke after a few seconds of silence. "i remember my first time killing an actual person in training. they had me shoot targets and i consistently got the bullseye every time. then they switched out the targets to an actual person and i had a hard time doing that. i can't imagine how it must've been for you. i heard you and veronika were quite the inseparable duo."

you didn't move to show that you were shattered over the current events but the millions of tears silently streaming down your face said otherwise. natasha turned to you, reaching to wipe your tears away before gently caressing your cheek.

"you're a strong one, y/n. you remind me of myself when i was still in training. i can see myself in you." she told you truthfully. she had no idea why but she felt a strong connection towards you. she felt that you and her had so much in common. she had a strange inclination to protect you even though she knew damn well you were capable of doing so yourself.

since then, she always dropped by to help train all of you but you and her developed a relationship so strong that she even told you of her plans to get you out of that hellhole. at that point, it had been a few months since she'd turned good but she kept coming to the academy for your sake. she felt a sense of responsibility over you, like a mother would over her daughter.

she would with the other girls too if they had shown at least a bit of humanity but it seemed that the red room had ruined them beyond fixing. despite being the best student of the academy, you still weren't inhumane like the rest. you would hesitate to hurt others, only doing so when threatened and even that, you still weren't as heartless or cruel.

madame b would always berate you over this but natasha would pick up the pieces every single time. you loved her. she was the best thing in your life after veronika and your heart broke when the red room fell and you were taken away. away from the mother you never had.

you awoke with a jolt again. it was the second night in a row you were reliving your past memories. you touched your face and you felt the tears on it, wiping them with your sleeve as you sat up in your cold, uncomfortable bed in your cell. you sighed, bringing your knees up to your chest and hugging them.

you couldn't help but think of nat again. what could've happened if she managed to get you out before you were taken away? could you have a nice life with her? would you never have to hide under the stairs to have emotional exchanges with the woman? would you finally have been able to be who you were, not influenced by the evil around you?

you never knew what it was like having a mother but you imagined it was what nat had been towards you during the times you spent together at the academy. you two were more mother and daughter rather than trainer and student.

all of a sudden, alarms blared through the building and red warning lights flickered in your cell. you stood up, peeking through the small glass of your cell door to see guards rushing through the hallways in a frenzy.

you assumed that the facility was under attack and no one was coming to save you. you didn't even try, walking back to your bed to return to your position of hugging your knees tightly to your chest.

you could hear the chaos outside but opted not to pay attention to it. it didn't involve you and if no one was coming to save you from whatever was attacking the place—not that anyone in that place would, you were merely an asset to them—you wouldn't bother worrying about whether you were going to live by the end of the night.

a loud bang interrupted your thoughts and you looked up to see your cell door had been forcefully thrown open by a large man in stripes, holding a circular shield. you immediately stood up, getting ready to attack him when he spoke.

"i'm not here to hurt you." he said, holding out a hand as if to tell you to stop whatever you were about to do. "we're here to save you. you can finally leave this place now." he says gently. you frown at him, still in a stance ready to attack him.

"cap, is there someone in this room?" a familiar voice spoke and your head immediately turned to the door, where the owner of the voice stood, mouth dropping open at the sight of you. your face softened and a tiny gasp left your lips at the sight of her.

"y/n...is that you?" she breathed out, walking towards you and not stopping when she saw that you weren't alarmed or anything. "nat.." you choked out, tears starting to form. how crazy was it that you had been having flashbacks of her for the past two nights and suddenly she was here to come save you?

"y/n!" she exclaimed, pulling you into a tight hug. you knees buckled but she held onto you tightly, sniffling as she caressed your head gently. you buried your face in her shoulder as you took in the familiar feeling of being in her arms once again.

more tears started to form in your eyes now. never had you thought you were actually going to see her again. you lost the hope of seeing her again two years ago. but here she was, standing in your cell and hugging you like there would be no tomorrow.

your hugging session was cut short when steve sheepishly spoke up. "sorry to uh, interrupt this reunion but more guards are coming, i think it's best if we leave now." he picked up his shield, leading the three of you out of the facility safely and back to their quinjet. the whole time, nat held onto your hand tightly, as if letting go would lead to another few years of being apart once again.

once you reached the quinjet, nat led you to the seats in the back where you two would have more privacy. the team watched the two of you in confusion before turning back to steve for an explanation as he was the one who was partnered with nat for this mission. all the captain could tell them was that you two knew each other way before this and that all of them would have to wait for an explanation from nat herself if they wanted to know what was going on.

when you reached the compound, nat led you to her room where she lent you her clothes and let you shower before tucking you into her bed. when she was sure you were comfortably asleep, she left the room quietly to go grab a glass of water only to find the whole team sat in the common room instead of back in their own rooms.

she looked at them, confused. "guys, it's like almost the crack ass of dawn and we just got back from a mission, why aren't you asleep? or were you debriefing? in the common room? did i miss it?"

"no, you know debriefings for late night missions are the next morning. we were waiting for you actually," steve spoke on behalf of the whole team. "me? for what?"

"nat, c'mon, don't act stupid. you know what we're talking about," clint makes an unimpressed face at his best friend. nat sighs, taking a seat next to him and the team look at her expectantly. she cleared her throat, preparing for a whole story time.

"you know how i was from the red room?" she asked them and they all nodded, urging her to continue her story. "well, after i graduated, i was asked to come help train the younger ones in the programme. during that time, i met this girl. she reminded me a lot of my younger self and she didn't seem completely brainwashed to the point where she lacked emotions. i grew close to her and after i met clint and joined SHIELD, i vowed to get her out of there because she went through a lot in that hellhole and i could tell she didn't want to do any of the things that the other girls were fine doing.

"she had a good heart and i didn't want it to be wasted. she was the best in the academy and i knew they had big plans for her. but i didn't want her to be programmed to kill. she was much more than that. so i made this whole plan for her escape. i kept going back to the academy to come see her and share my plan with her. clint, you always asked me where i kept disappearing to when we first started becoming friends. it was her. the people there didn't know i was already under SHIELD at that time—nobody did—so it was safe for me to keep visiting and keep planning an escape for her.

"but three years ago, the red room fell. i rushed over because i thought i could finally leave with her without anyone knowing. but apparently she'd been taken away. she was the only one of the girls who was taken. by who, i didn't know at that time. but i knew it was because of her skills and abilities. if the red room had big plans for her, i knew other organisations must've already heard of her too.

"i never stopped looking for her. i don't know why i never thought of HYDRA. but it doesn't matter anymore. i finally found her and i'm never letting her go. i hope you guys don't mind that she lives here now. if not, i'll move out and find somewhere for us."

the team seemed surprised that nat told them her story. they were very much expecting her to, well, not tell them because this seemed like a very personal story.

"no, no, of course she can stay. i'll even set up another room for her." tony says and nat nods gratefully. "what's her name?" wanda asks.

"y/n," nat tells her, smiling at the thought of you as she stands up. "alright, i have to go back to her. see you guys in the morning. maybe you'll get to see her then."

she bids them goodnight, leaving after grabbing a glass of water for you in case you woke up in the middle of the night, in need of it. she wasn't wrong because when she got back to her room, you were up, hugging your knees as you cried.

"hey, hey, hey, what's wrong, sugar?" she quickly puts the glass of water on the bedside table, sitting on the bed and pulling you close to her. you look up at her all teary-eyed and she feels her heart break.

"i–i thought i lost you again," you croaked out, burying your face in her shoulder. "oh, sugar, you'll never lose me ever again. i'll never let that happen. you're safe here with me. now sleep, i'll be here when you wake up." she stroked your hair gently, laying down next to you on the bed before you two fell into a blissful slumber in each other's arms.

true to her words, she was right next to you when you woke up the next time. she seemed wide awake and you felt bad because she probably had been up hours before but didn't leave you because you were scared.

"how'd you sleep, sugar?" she asked as you sat up, stretching. "the best i have in years. thanks to you, nat." you smiled at her, still not believing all of this is real. that you're finally reunited with the woman you thought of as your mother.

"do you want to meet my friends? they're dying to meet you," she tells you and you bite your lips nervously. "do you think they'll like me?"

"are you crazy? of course they will. and if they don't, i'll make them." she threatens playfully and you laugh, missing how protective of you she is. you smile, agreeing to her suggestions to meet her friends after you got ready for the day.

-

"hi, sweetie, you're y/n?" a man with fancy silk pyjamas greeted as you entered the common room with natasha. you nodded timidly, scooting closer to natasha. it was weird for natasha to see you this nervous. after all, you were the best student of your batch in the red room. but she understood that years with no actual social interaction does that to people.

"i hope you'll like staying here, i already have your room setting up as of right now. when you move in, you can tell me if you don't like anything and i'll change it for you. oh, i forgot, i'm tony," he extends a hand towards you and with an encouraging nod from nat, you hesitantly shake his hand. he smiles at you before telling you both he has projects to finish down in his lab and to tell him if you needed anything.

"hey, nat, not gonna introduce your friend to us?" you heard a voice from behind you and you two turned around to see two men and a woman. you recognised both men—one of them was the one who broke into your cell last night and the other one you had seen him a lot from pictures nat would show you during your secret meetings in your red room days. he was her best friend. you didn't know the woman but the kind smile on her face was enough to reassure you that these people weren't bad.

"y/n, meet clint, the idiot who i call best friend," she points to the shorter man. the name nat called him must've offended him because the face he made was hilarious that you let out a little giggle. nat smiles at this before proceeding to introduce the other two.

"this one's steve, he's an old man stuck in a young body—literally— so if he says things you don't understand, just smile and nod." you nod at nat and steve gives her an incredulous look, as if not believing the audacity she had to introduce him like that.

"this one's wanda, she's the least annoying person in this whole place and she can cook whatever you want so i think you two will get along really well." wanda smiles at you and you return it shyly. you smile at the other two before nat drags you away, telling them she still had others to introduce you to.

when you entered the kitchen, you saw a man reading a newspaper on the kitchen island while another man, whose skin was red, stood beside him. they seemed to be discussing something very intelligent because you didn't understand a single word they spoke.

"bruce, vision, i want you to meet someone." they turned their attentions towards you and nat and you immediately felt like hiding once again. "oh hello, steve told us you brought back someone from the mission. is this her? hello, i'm bruce," the man sitting down introduced himself.

"wait, is this the bruce?" you asked nat, smirking teasingly at her and she smacks you gently on the shoulder. the man seemed flustered at what you're insinuating, scratching his neck awkwardly.

"bruce, vision, this is y/n, i've known her for a long time and i finally found her after years so i hope you two won't mind that she'll be staying here from now on," nat tells them. the two of them didn't come on the mission last night so they were the only two who didn't actually see you until today.

"it's nice to meet you, y/n. i'm vision, i hope you'll enjoy your stay here." the man with the red skin greets formally and you turn to nat with a confused expression. "he's an android, he does things a bit weird here so don't mind him." she whispers to you and you nod understandingly.

"it's nice to meet you two, i hope we'll be good friends." you say awkwardly, hoping to get this whole introduction thing over with. how many people do you have left to meet?

speaking of the devil—or should you say, devils—, two annoying voices rang through the kitchen, interrupting the peacefulness that it was before they came in.

"i'm just saying that if you hadn't eaten my last bag of chips last week, i wouldn't have taken your cookies last night. it's all about fair play, man."

"and i keep telling you that it wasn't me! i don't even like those stupid salty ass chips from that brand,"

"stop lying, i saw you eating that brand the other day! just admit you stole my chips and go,"

"guys, are you really having another one of your stupid arguments now?" nat cuts them off and they immediately turned to you, finally noticing all of you.

"oh hey! y/n, right? it's nice to meet you, i'm sam. if you wanna survive in this place, you better hide your snacks because if you don't, this winter warrior here will snatch 'em all before you can even stash them in the cupboards. don't ever trust this guy here when it comes to your snacks. you heard what happened to mine," the man fakes a cry and you held back a laugh at his long introduction. you only wanted a name to match the face but he gave you much more. you didn't mind though, he seemed like a fun person.

"hi, doll, i'm bucky. don't listen to eagle right here, i do not steal snacks. i simply let people have a taste of their own medicine. you steal my snacks, wilson, i steal 'em back. you think i don't know you stole my oreos too last month? that's why i stole your damn chips last week,"

"so you did steal them!"

"so what if i did?! you stole my oreos first!"

"oh my god, guys, you're really embarrassing me in front of y/n. these are really the people i was excited to introduce her to," nat face-palmed and you couldn't help but laugh. "don't worry nat, these people seem amazing. i can't wait to get to know them better." you assured her and she smiles, pulling you close to her. "buckle up, sugar, because living with the avengers is gonna be a wild ride."

you were excited for what was about to come. it seemed like everything was finally falling into place. you finally got nat back and you didn't have to worry about losing her again because you had a feeling these people weren't going to let that happen.

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[ah-yes-paris]

beatles harmonies that cured my depression.

It is important that i discuss this. Well, not really important I just really wanted to share. This is in no particular order either it's just the ones that come to the top of my head lol. Feel free to reblog and share your own 😎

1. The "Woahoooah AHHHHH" from When I Get Home.

Not even words can describe the battery power that starts coursing through my veins when I hear this harmony. I cant even,....LIKE HELLO??? i have never heard such a blessing... Such a well-fitting triplet of voices singing a vowel thats made me feel like i can run 10 miles straight. They aren't real. The Beatles, of course. To this day I don't understand how this harmony exists in this universe. My ears melt everytime. One of my favorites, in case you couldn't tell.

2. The obvious.. "yeah yeah yeah YEAHH" from She Loves You :)

LET ME TELL YOU. oh my god let me tell yo u .. Way back when, when I was a new fan... Good lord. I was literally ascending. ASCENDING. i felt every inch of my body start to lift off the ground. Im sure im not the only one who's experienced this. I remember thinking 'how the wiggle wubble do 3 men sound so GOOD TOGETHER' IT DOES NOT ADD UP PEOPLE THE BEATLES HAVE TO BE SOME SORT OF ROBOTIC BOY BAND GROWN IN A LAB THIS ISNT POSSIBLE how do we live on the same dimensional plane that this harmony lives on..

3. "The magical mystery tour, is coming to take you away, Coming to take you away!" from Magical Mystery Tour.

...

guys. Guys you dont understand. This one line, adds, YEARS. LITERAL YEARS TO MY LIFE SPAN. At this point I am fully immortal. The "coming to take you awayyy" makes my heart POUND. i love this song so much... And this line especially... It makes me go insane. Basically the beatles are manic melody genuises that have successfully spread one of the biggest diseases in musical history. Personally, I think this line was a clear example of why.

4. "Last night I said these words to my girl", "Please pleaase me, oh yeah, like i please you...", "...With you! Oh yeah, why do you make me blue" from Please Please Me.

do i even have to say anything. Well, i dont but i will for the sake of the post. There is so much. So much. About this song that I. I cant even,,. I would choose this song over SO MANY BEATLES SONGS DUDE. not that its cause i think its better than all the others but it just holds such a special place in my heart. Its the only song thats Ever made me feel some intense wave of nostalgia for a decade i wasnt even born in. Its one of the songs that continue to make me question the beatles existance. How could something like this ever come to reality. My brain has never been so pleased in its life.

5. "Carve your number on my wall and maybe you will get a call from me" from If I Needed Someone.

The way that this song was added into my Liked playlist SO QUICKLY...... God. I love george. Hes my favorite after all. Rubber Soul as a whole makes me feel warm inside but this song and this one line just hits so much more intensely for some reason... Their voices just flow insanely well and I just DONT UNDERSTAND HOW. its like an angel choir making its way through the clouds as you see the gate to heaven start to appear. Wonderful song and mind-blowing harmony... The beat is so good too and i just explode.

6. The "ahhhhh Ahhhhh AHhhhh *inhale* AHHHhhhh AHHHHH *inhale* AHHHHHH" from Day Tripper.

HOLY JESUS CHIRST THIS SONG HAS SO MUCH TO UNPACK... There are undeniably A BUNCH of other flawless harmonies in this song but my god the beatles knew what they were doing. Thats all I'm going to say really.... But once again. Power. In my veins. A few listens to this song and you'll find yourself having the strength of 1,000 men.

7. "Oh, now", "All I want is you" from Dig a Pony.

FIRST LYRIC... ITS LITERALLY 2 WORDS AND YET IT CONTINUES TO BLOW MY MIND. Something about the "Oh" ...... Its like an arrow passing through my heart I dont even know guys. Im not lying when I say it makes me feel like im floating. It makes me feel like i can quite literally grow wings and fling myself towards the sun. Dont even get me started on "All I want is you".......it literally triples the effect. It makes me go ballistic. The song is just mindless lyrics but the harmonieeesss.....

8. "Ah girlll.... *inhaeahelrlsseeesh* Girrll...." from Girl.

no words. Like. No words. I cant even. I seriously dont need to explain this one. Im just going to drop the isolated vocals version because if you havent listened to it you are MISSING OUT... you thought the originally recorded song was the greatest cause of your heart palpitations? Well you thought WRONG.

THIS IS.

9. "I love youwoowooowoowoooo...", "ask me WHYY..", "I can't believe.. Its happened to MEeee", "i cant concieve *doo doo doo do doo* of anymore *dun dun dun* MISERY" from Ask Me Why.

GOD OK LISTEN im just gonna say this now i absolutely adore and favor the please please me album so much i dont care what anyone says ok im such a sucker for their early sappy love songs ITS SO MANY GOOD HARMONIES ESPECIALLY FROM THIS ONE. MY GOD i listen to this and i feel like im with a lover late at night and we're like at one or the others house keeping each other warm and being all romantic and happy. Specifically the part that goes "ask me whyy I say i love you.. (OOOOHHHOOOO) and im always thinking of youuhoohohoo..." LIKE COME ON PLEAEE IT MAKES ME FEEL SO WARM INSIDE AND I SMILE IN AN INSTANT GOD I LOVE THIS SONG SO MUCH. Whenever i think im sad i go "no im not because Please Please Me." And its like all the sudden everything im sad about just poof disappears!

10. "If theres anything that you want.. IF THERES ANYTHING I CAN DOOOO" from From Me To You.

I am so in love with this song you guys i have no idea I LOVE IT SO MUCH. IT HAS THIS LITTLE SWING TO IT SPECIFICALLY BETWEEN THESE 2 LINES THAT MY BRAIN SEEKS FOR NEARLY EVERY DAY. the amount of blessing i get from this song is more than i can comprehend its literally insane i cant even. How does someone do this how did the beatles make music guys I am seriously so dumbfounded like they just sat there and wrote banger after banger like WHAT. this song makes me believe that life isnt as horrible as it seems and if im lucky enough i can just sing and dance to this song for all of eternity. There are also so many other good harmonies in this one as well...

---

In conclusion the beatles have had a chokehold on me for 3 years but I mean their stupid groundbreaking songs keep drawing me back in so.... This has also made me come to the conclusion that the Beatles simply arent real because I still dont believe a band can not only write consistent hits, but also harmonize in a way that causes me to spin around while doing backflips.

Thank you for your time.