#I don't even need to say anything here

[the-path-to-redemption]

I'm the same one who wrote the Blake speech. So after further I realized something.....

The humans in remant don't care about Faunus rights or just down right bystanders.

We literally saw Velvet get harrased by Cardin and no one did anything including RWBY they just sat on their table and discuss the situation with Cardin. (Im assuming that there only a small fraction of Faunus in Beacon and they just let one of their own kind be harrased? Also assuming they have a no Faunus discrimination policy in Bracon and they just allow racist like Cardin in with no consequences)

From what we are given in lore FAUNUS ARE THE ONLY ONE FIGHTING AGAINST PREJUDICE. There other no human allies with them. No human allies are participating in their protestors or advocating Faunus rights.

The only "allies" we see who are with faunus right are the main cast or important characters that are associated with faunus characters.

Roman even says this during vol 2 episode 4

"But, before the claws come out, I'd like to mention the fact that you and I all have a common enemy: the ones in control, the people pulling the strings, the dirty, rotten humans that run our kingdoms! (As the crowd changes their tune and starts agreeing with him.) Government, military, even the schools: they're all to blame for your lot in life! (Lets the crowd cheer as the two heroes share a look.) And they're all pests that need to be dealt with! Fortunately, I'm the best exterminator around... No offense to any rodents in the room."

Now Roman is an unreliable narrator (I haven't read any of the novels so I ain't gonna bother if they change his personality or explain why is he like this) but when you think about it he's not wrong.

You are telling me that NO ON IN HIGHER AUTHORITY Remant help Faunus lives improve? No discrimination laws? No investigations of an exploitation of Faunus? No human politicians advocating and standing for Faunus right? They just let it all happen and call it a day?

Hell even Roman calls out the schools hypocrisy for not doing anything about it. Going back to vol 1 episode 12.

Oobleck: Yes! Yes, prior to the Faunus Rights Revolution--more popularly known as the Faunus War--humankind was quite, quite adamant about centralizing Faunus population in Menagerie. Now! While this must feel like ancient history to many of you, it is imperative to remember that these are relatively recent events! Why, the repercussions of the uprising can still be seen to this day! Now! Have any among you been subjugated or discriminated because of your Faunus heritage?

Some of the silhouetted students raise their hands. Velvet, after a moment, does the same.

Oobleck: Dreadful, simply dreadful! Remember, students, it is precisely this kind of ignorance that breeds violence! I mean, I mean, I mean just look at what happened to White Fang!

True Oobleck! Ignorance does breed violence.....IF YOU ARENT DOING ANYTHING TO STOP THAT FROM HAPPENING IN THE FIST PLACE!!!!!

Do humans believe White Fang jut started because they hate humans! They became violent after realizing what peacful actions wasn't getting them anywhere. Do you know Why?

Because humans were ignoring their need for help. They aren't helping them in any shape or form!

No advocating. No protesting. No standing up for Faunus. Nah dah.

It also doesn't hunter's and huntress are just another sub branch of their kingdom government as they are shown to work with the police. Instead of them working in law enforcement they just fight grimm.

Imagine being a faunus who also a hunter yet still gets discriminate even after killing grim for a majority of your life and this is the thank you get.

^^^^^

[bread-wizards]

I actually think Dorian and Orym should fight more.

Remember when their slowly building tension over and entire episode (full of passive aggressive remarks and blame throwing) led to threats? And how after, Orym thanked Dorian for handing over the crown sadly because he knew Dorian would be mad at him? And Dorian couldn't even look at him because he was legitimately hurt, thinking Orym was disappointed in him for doing what he thought was right? That was peak.

The fact they went from that to their current closeness and trust is the best part of their entire dynamic. Their relationship was hard fought and still will be. They will fight for it because they respect and care for one another deeply, and their disagreements don't change that, only improve it.

[sergle]

yall are about to piss me off by not having any PASSING basic knowledge of the way the u.s. military manipulates its recruits into joining by typing up one of your uninformed, unresearched, unempathetic, individualistic, unbelievably annoying posts about how 100% of the people in the military ended up there because they just Love America So Damn Much! they're extremely mature and informed at time of recruitment, they can totally leave anytime they want, they totally had tons of other avenues in life they could've taken, there was no rush at all to get income as fast as possible, and everyone in the military also totally is part of the combat divisions and personally enjoys being IN the military very much, big believers of violence. everyone in the military is shooting guns all day, that's how that works. they LOVE BLOODSHED. also I love the "amewicans haha" twang to this type of shit because you're actually TOTALLY stealing our Thing, which is turning systemic issues into Individual Issues. Instead of talking about the powers that be, it's so Personal Choice up in here. It's, "well you shouldn't have done it then. I totally wouldn't because I know better." you don't wanna talk about the military industrial complex as a whole, and you don't want to talk about recruiters, you just want to pin the blame on Specific Individual People one-by-one, as if they're responsible for the system that they're being ground up in. someone was in the military? bad person, no matter what. it's easier to believe that, I guess, than to acknowledge that Normal People (with high school educations) are manipulated and incentivized into joining a system that is Bad. at like age 18. but yeah no that 18 year old should have just been smarter lol haha anyway here are some screenshots for no particular reason

side note this reply of someone going "umm just get loans and go into a high paying field it's easy XD" as a direct response to someone trying to explain how most americans joining the military are being funneled in that direction out of a need for money.

and another person who Decided that americans join the military just CLENCHING their teeth thinking of other people, and not thinking completely selfishly about their own selves and their own income/housing/healthcare.

[fiona-fififi]

Since I'm digging myself a hole tonight, I kind of actively hate the "But I am ready for something, and I think maybe that something could be with you."

Like, my first instinct was that it was sweet and that Buck was taking back a little bit of agency there and asking for what he wanted.

But I don't know. In so many ways, it also actually feels like it feeds into a very unhealthy pattern for Buck.

I mean, I might just be projecting because I cannot imagine ever being so infatuated with someone that I'd be like "I want to try a relationship with you" after only knowing them for 30 seconds and being left on the curb after a failed first date, but I digress.

But just. I don't know. This feels like such a pattern for Buck. Have someone express interest, only to then be rejected (Abby, Taylor, Natalia, now Tommy) and then chase them that much harder.

Like, Buck. Darling. PLEASE. Your value is not defined by the people for whom you have to prove your worth.

And I don't even mean this as anything directly against these partners. But Buck gets so caught up in forcing a relationship that he speedruns things without actually giving anyone (including himself) any space to grow into it, and it just feels kind of devastating that that's still where he is with himself.

[feroluce]

“-and that's why I ain't allowed in Pier Point no more!” Boothill throws his head back and cackles, somehow completely comfortable on the bare floor of the archives. He's the very picture of ease, his arms behind his head, his legs bent and crossed.

Dan Heng barely looks up from his notebook, not much surprises him anymore after the first few tales of lawless exploits. “So they really have that many laws and restrictions there.” 

“And prob’ly a few more now that I've been through there! Heck, ya think they named any after me? I'm hopin’ so.” There's so much smug cockiness seeping through his voice Dan Heng could bottle it.

Silence settles in, stretches out. Dan Heng doodles pensive circles in the corner of his page.

He shouldn't ask. It's a private matter. It's none of his business. He of all people should know-

Something pokes his shoe, and when he looks up, Boothill has stretched one arm up to tap metallic fingertips against his foot. “Ain't like ya to hesitate.” With his head tipped back on the tiles and gazing at him upside down, Boothill's hair is out of his face and spooling out all over the floor, offering a rare view of his right side. His right eye is sealed over with a pitch-black patch, stark against his skin. Dan Heng wonders what he looks like behind it. “C'mon, then, out with it. Spill the beans, brother, just say it.”

“What does ‘Boothill’ mean?”

The man blinks at him, the crosshair in his cybernetic left eye flickering. Dan Heng shifts, smooths out his long coat. “I tried to look it up once. It's not in any database as a name...other than your wanted posters.” There's a thread beginning to fray near the hem, he should sew it up. “I couldn't find it anywhere.” 

He nearly takes it back, but- “Heh, ya that curious about me, darlin’?”

Dan Heng quickly levels his face into the most impassive, nonplussed expression he can muster, but Boothill has already turned away, head pillowed on his arms and face once again turned to the ceiling.

“But nah, ya wouldn't. Hah, like they'd allow any record of the language, fudgeheads.” One arm sweeps around blindly until it finds the edge of Boothill's hat, sets it back where it belongs on his head. Dan Heng shuffles around, scoots a little closer, but the brim is pulled too low to see his eyes anymore.

“It's ‘cause it's not a name. It's a noun.” All that's visible of his face is a sharp grin, pulled too tight at the edges.

“It's my people's word for a grave.”

Dan Heng's pencil stops.

“It's the kinda grave fer someone who died with their boots on. If ya catch my drift there.” Boothill's foot starts to bounce. “There was a war, and it got reeeeeal intense, yup. Folks started droppin’ like flies, ‘n’ there was bodies faster'n what we could bury ‘em.” A cooling fan kicks on somewhere. Dan Heng is pretty sure it's not any of the Express equipment.

“We lost some real good people there, real good. Mighty shame.” His hidden Vidyadhara ears detect a quiet metallic click, a whir, pressurized gas. Boothill's next words waft steam from his angry circuits into the air. “When I left, I decided to leave my name there, too. Didn't feel right otherwise. The life I lead now is a whole ‘nother existence.” And then Boothill turns his head, raises his hat, and Dan Heng suddenly feels pinned dead center, caught in that crosshair.

“Ya know what I mean, don'tcha?”

Dan Heng swallows.

Does Boothill know? Who he is and who came before him? There had been that moment in the Penacony Grand Theater, after he activated the Jade Abacus… Dan Heng had tried to shoo him out, keep him from seeing anything, but Boothill has the astounding ability to turn up exactly wherever people are trying to keep him away from.

If he did see, does he actually understand it? Does he know what a High Elder is? Does he know about the sedition of Imbibitor Lunae, the transmutation arcanum, everything Dan Feng had done and Dan Heng was punished for?

He doesn't want to explain it all. Not now. Possibly not ever, truth be told.

And it's not the same as Boothill leaving behind his old identity when whatever event happened that caused him to leave home. Not really. But…

But so far, Boothill has slid so easily into Dan Heng’s routine. His presence never feels like an intrusion. He's already figured out what he can push and when to back down. And even Dan Heng finds himself able to roll with whatever punches Boothill throws with baffling ease. They share too much in their methods and ideologies, and sometimes Dan Heng knows what Boothill will do seemingly before even Boothill himself knows.

“...Tell me about Talia and the Nailscrap Town.” Boothill must know he's avoiding the topic. He must. But the man just throws his head back and cackles, melting easily back into what they had been doing before, as he speaks fondly of a planet that Dan Heng has never visited.

Not today. But.

Dan Heng inches just a little closer, just enough to nudge his foot against a metal leg. Boothill doesn't pull away.

Maybe someday.

[selkiesongss]

has some of this been said before? i don't know, probably. do i give a fuck? nah

i want to talk about sam butler and nobody can stop me

(lengthy rambling below the cut)

looking back on misfits and magic, it genuinely astounds me the leaps and bounds that sam has experienced as a character. i can't speak for anyone else, but for me, i had the least connection to sam in mismag 1 and the special– i think it was a combination of it being danielle's first appearance on d20 and my unfamiliarity with her, the narrative spending a relatively large amount of time on evan and his demons compared to everyone else, and the fact that sam started as a trope-y character who didn't have the chance to grow beyond that in the limited amount of time they had to begin with– like i definitely enjoyed her but i didn't really love her, yknow?

(sidenote: after episode 6 or 7 i went back and rewatched mismag 1 and the special and i adored sam the entire time, so i think it was mostly just a "right place wrong time" thing.. or "right character wrong time" i suppose? i'm just pissed i didn't give her the adoration she deserved then tbh)

which is why i was BEYOND surprised that as episodes of mismag 2 dropped, i found myself being increasingly pulled into sam's orbit. episode 1 and episode 2 were so refreshing, seeing how these characters had changed over time and watching them interact with each other again, and it really felt like sam had grown into herself; at this point i was confident that i was going to enjoy her more, i just didn't know how much lmao

and then. episode 3 dropped.

danielle's performance in that episode fucking destroyed me. lou and erika were acting their asses off and i STILL found myself wishing there would be more cutaways to sam so i could see danielle living her character. now that i mention it, i think that was what i was missing from season 1 and the special, a moment where things went from bad to worse and sam truly struggled. that's not to say she didn't struggle before, just that there was a depth to her grief in episode three that hadn't been present in past seasons and it really took me aback (in a positive way). not to mention sam's interactions with the qohlye, which set up the final act of the season!

EVERY episode after episode 3 was another heavy hitter. episode 4 and learning about sam's childhood (buttery smooth tights dni), not to mention the comedic juggernaut that was coked-out sam butler !! episode 5 and her infamous sofa conversation with evan, which i took the time to transcribe because thinking about it made me insane (just as a personal note, i think episode 3 was when the possibility of evsam struck me, and episode 5 was what really cemented how much i wanted it to happen). episode 6 and her interactions with jammer and k, the endive salad with way too much parmesan (which is incredibly funny given that she's lactose intolerant) and her realization about sweeps week and celebrity cameos, code pink ??? oh my god it makes me nauseous i love the pink pals so much..

obviously episode 7 was HUGE for sam; charming weugan was an incredible moment for her as a wizard, but it also teed up her breakdown in the finale. her charm spell also gave us the absolute masterpiece that was the jammer+evan puppy playtime hour, which i personally haven't stopped thinking about since it happened! did that awaken something in me? who can say.

episode 8 had her interactions with tadershacourt which i found hilarious, and her sleeping on the air mattress with evan was HUGE for me, but really the moment that got me was when she chose to snap her wand to see the connections between the pilot program and the new magic infusing k and evan. this moment solidified my adoration for sam butler, because who else would destroy a prized magical artifact from their past just to know a little bit more about their friends? not to mention this scene really laid the groundwork for her magical connection to the qohlye in my eyes

and of course, episode 9 was where we actually got that connection! it strikes me looking back that i never doubted that sam would turn down the qohlye's boon. so much of her narrative and so many of her choices up until this point had been her choosing to sacrifice power to support her community– using her question to the qohlye to save evan, her distaste for the magic of seegenpelater, the straight up disgust she felt at weugan's suggestion to purposefully charm jammer and evan, snapping her wand on tadershacourt.. oh god the storytelling.... it's killing me.......... there's a lot more to say about this episode but this is getting long even for me

episode 10... episode 10 how i love you.... this episode is admittedly pretty sparse when it comes to big moments for sam, but i just adore it and danielle looked beautiful here (as she did every episode but it's still worth saying) so i'm bringing it up. OH and obviously jammer, k, and sam's conversation with tabby was devastating but that goes without saying

which brings me to the finale.

i truly will never be able to thank aabria enough for giving sam the spotlight here. not only do i think that it was incredibly meaningful to begin with sam coming face to face with her deepest fears in order to save the world, i think that it was deeply narratively satisfying to have sam, the person who has spent her entire time on screen reaching out and showing people kindness, be the one to hold the reins on a ritual to change magic forever. it's worth mentioning that jammer has done the same, but he didn't need to take charge like sam did, and i think it makes the most sense that he and the rest of the pilot program would be there to support her as the ritual went on.

sam's breakdowns in the beginning and then again during the scuppers match were truly, genuinely some of the most emotionally resonant scenes i've ever seen in D20 history, which is saying a lot. the joy i felt as the ritual "ended" and the pilot program had changed magic was insane. and i honestly believe that i wouldn't feel that way if sam hadn't been there.

this has been an extremely long-winded way to say: sam butler is my favorite dimension 20 PC to date. i was completely blindsided by how drastically my opinion of her would change between seasons, and i couldn't be happier about that. it has been so rewarding to watch sam evolve from her first iterations to who she is now, and i cannot overstate just how impressive and inspiring danielle radford's performances were to watch. her ability to match the emotional tone of every scene she's in is beyond amazing, and the love she has for sam shines through her performance like light through a lantern.

tl;dr: sam butler's arc in misfits and magic has me on my fucking knees it's so good. danielle radford you will always be famous

[zouisexo]

.

[spyres]

op turned off rbs but is this about that dark past fangame that everyone is now lauding as basically pre-canon explorers despite it literally being just a fangame that also happens to be extremely racist with some of its messages

[ragsy]

anyway i swept the leaves out of my garage and built a shelf and those two actions were enough to leave me too tired to do anything about the fact that now there are two shelves in my room that only has room for one of them

[bayetea]

seeing non-black people critique rick's portrayal of black characters is interesting sometimes. only like 30% of the critiques I see make any sense to me to be honest

[theprodigxl-daughter]

A goodbye (but not a sad one!!!!)

I've been on antidepressants for almost a year now. This is the first year of my life in many, many years where I've been, genuinely, enjoying life. And, even in the moments where things are Not Great, I still feel great because I'm not constantly trying to off myself.

And it's not just the meds. I've been more in contact with my friends, I'm going out, meeting people. I'm getting the opportunity to be a young woman in my early twenties, to drink and wake up in the morning kind of regretting staying out late, but still having so. much. fun.

I still go to church, sometimes. Because it doesn't bother me anymore, because I can sit there, finally comfortable in my own skin, knowing that I know who I am and what I believe and that's enough.

And all of that has got me thinking: this is truly the only life that I have. There's no way of knowing what comes after this.

And I finally feel safe enough to feel really fucking great to affirm that there is no way that I'm going to spend the only life that I know I have denying myself of all the joys that exist in being a human being. I don't want to spend my days thinking of all the ways I was made wrong. Of all my shortcomings. Days of Making myself little, so He can be Great.

Which is why I think I'm ready to let go of this blog.

I created this space when I was feeling so much rage, so much sadness, and I needed community. And I got that, I truly did! I never really interacted much, but it was so great to know that I wasn't alone in my feelings.

This space means so much to me, because not only it helped me heal, but it's also proof that, yeah, I didn't think I would, but I survived.

I've been thinking of this for a while, and this post was supposed to be just this: a rant. But I feel like, in order to continue, I need to put some things behind, which includes my lovely blog.

I don't know if anyone cares, but I felt like I needed to say goodbye. I've been here for a while, and I've seen people come, and go, and I know I remember people and still check their blogs even when they disappear, so to anyone that might remember me and come across this blog:

I was here. I stayed, and it hurt so much, and I thought this kind of suffering would be never ending. And it wasn't. So I left.

[moiraimyths]

Before we call anon rude because let’s see it from their perspective, imagine getting an entire feast to eat. That can be pretty hard to start with so much that’s going on, but if they start with one thing they know they’ll like (aka one character they like) that can be the start for them leaping to other characters to finish the story and the bigger story. I struggle the same way to start book series if I don’t have at least one character that drives me to read it, it’s all about what can be the hook to push them through. Sounds like the anon is neurodivergent (just a guess) so they might genuinely not see it as rude and see it as a solution to even play the game to start with.

Btw absolutely adore the game, the complex and rich characters making them all so unique is amazing. The art is so pleasing to the eyes I love it!! I’m waiting for it all to get out at once so I don’t get too impatient. Shae however interests me the most, which routes will have the most lore for them? Will there be routes that give more lore in general based on decisions you make or do they all share the same amount? (I mean general lore not just Shae lore)

Apologies; we are not trying to accuse any asker of being rude! We are simply explaining our perspective as the developers / are trying to broadly encourage folks to dip their toes into other areas of the story outside of the main route(s) they're interested in, especially considering some routes will be made available sooner than others, and these other routes will likely contain additional scenes/lore of everyone's fave(s) regardless! We want to give each main cast member an equal amount of love (and lore) regardless of their overall popularity, so our goal is not to tut-tut anyone for having strong preferences for one character over the others, but rather to explain that you may be surprised by how much *more* you learn about your preferred characters in the other routes. That's all!

For Shae... Well, they were a foot soldier for one of the worst periods of the War. Lore wise, any other story that touches on the War will likely have content relevant to them and their experiences. ^^

[lord-squiggletits]

Part of why I hate this fandom's take on Autobots vs Decepticons is ppl (mainly 'con fans honestly) who can't have any nuance of the situation whatsoever and love to write plots like "oh the humans are racist and abusive towards Cybertronians so this is how Megatron is right" no actually I don't think colonialism/imperialism and racism are justified so long as you can point the finger and say "they were the aggressors first" or "their hands are no cleaner than ours bc their society sucks too" sorry. Please come up with better sociopolitical narratives in your war story.

[curedigiqueen]

In my opinion Precure is at its best when it incorporates the communities that the girls are protecting into it.

This of course stems all the way back from the original Futari wa. That shows main premise is "Ordinary days and people are important", and is by nature a normal slice of life whose drama is highlighted by the lengths Nagisa and Honoka go to protect it. As such, the girls have an extensive supporting cast, and the climatic battles often feature some level of emotional support by the supporting cast, even if they're not literally physically present. The girls are the vessels through whom humanities collective will to live is channeled. We spend our time witnessing this will within the people in the girls communities.

I've mentioned before how big a theme of community is in Fresh. There are a ton of minor side characters who make brief but frequent appearances to help flesh out this bustling city. In the end the girls reveal themselves to their community.

Princess and Heartcatch make great use of the victim of the week format to help build a strong supporting cast, understanding the motivations of these characters, who in turn help support the Cures in some way during the 11th hour.

This is part of what makes Happiness Charge and Doki Doki fall relatively flat to me. Their supporting casts aren't as fully developed. There's more one off victims. But there are still moments where this aspect shines, to me in Doki Doki in the involvement of the girl's families. The moment where Mana shouts her identity as Cure Heart is fantastic to me, I can practically see the gears turning in the family member's heads. The Oh Shit of it all.

While an identity reveal isn't a prerequisite for a strong sense of community it certainly contributes to the feelings. Both Futari wa's manage to have a strong sense of community, despite their final fights taking place when earth is reduced to a barren wasteland devoid of people, the fact they still take place on earth helps them make heavy use of the fact that despite being currently devoid of life these are places where there are meant to be life, and where life can exist again.

It's a big part of why while I love Suite, I feel it's objectively weaker than it's two predecessors despite mimicking them in so many aspects. In fact it's probably tied with the futari wa's for my favorite season. But I don't think it's nearly as good as it could be in part because of the lack of community compared to its predecessors. But what we do get of Kanon owns majority real estate in my heart. The entire town is so goddamn weird, and just down for whatever. If I could add an identity reveal to any season it'd be this one. I struggle to believe that no one in this town doesn't know (though that might be because they all are so oblivious). I'd take it away from Healin Good and Doki Doki if I had to and I love those seasons reveals.

Smile I feel is far more popular than Suite, and while I enjoy smile and think it's simplicity is to its strength it's really no surprise that the episode I care most about, more than 3/4 of the season combined, is the episode where Nao sort of kind of has an identity reveal. That's also partially because I just have a huge soft spot for kids. (Muse is my all time favorite. Go, make things worse you funky little messed up 9 year old. And I am probably one of the few people who actually LIKE the baby plotlines... which makes it honestly such an accomplishment that DeliPa got me to dislike their baby). But Smile has a lot of plots that are really self-contained to the main cast, and while I do enjoy how fleshed out the girls' families are the fact that they all turn into living rocks when the villains attack really makes them less interesting to me. Same with Tropical-Rouge, but Tropical-Rouge doesn't even fully flesh out any family that isn't Manatsu's.

Maho Tsukai and Star Twinkle both have fun main characters and worldbuilding, but the fact that, like Smile, the action and human town exist sort of separately from each other really keeps them from catching my attention. I want to like them. And I do. I just don't quite love them. I really love HiroSky's cures in particular, and adore the episodes where they are part of their communities, but do wish we had more of that.

And for what it's worth the miracle lights bring this sense of community into our reality, and they used to use the side cast to help illustrate this in the all star movies. It's great.

[carouselunique]

Is it true that there's no animosity between you and... you know, you know who. You never talk about her in any way. I guess I'm curious. You guys seemed like really close friends and then just weren't friends at all. And there was some stuff she said that seemed very targeted at you...

I don't know if she feels any animosity toward me or not any more. Our mutual friends have said she doesn't and I take them on their word in that regard, assuming that if they have an answer for me it's because they're aware how she feels. I wouldn't know and it's not my place to put words in her mouth.

I haven't spoken to her/about her in a long time and the only time she even crosses my mind is when people bring her up to me. As for me feeling any animosity? I'll admit my feelings on her these days are complicated and way too nuance-core for people who aren't my friends to hear about but I wouldn't call them animosity in any way. I inherently want people my friends care about to live well because I care about my friends, and anyone my friends care about by proxy and I still share friends with her. I would never wish ill on people my friends care about so animosity doesn't fit into that by definition. I'd say I'm hurt more than anything and even then I've worked through a lot of it with trusted friends who have helped me deal with my emotions in a healthy way.

(Besides, my own life struggles keep me from even being able to invest time into animosity. I have to expend that energy loving my family, doing my best to support them during our struggles. And I've never been a hateful person it isn't in me. I would rather play 'Hot To Go' by Chappell Roan and teach my dad how to do the hand gestures to help him strengthen his muscles again than focus on hating anyone...)

I try not to think about her because it hurts. I often think that people forget that I'm a real person outside of her sphere, and that I wouldn't want to talk about what happened because I truly did consider her a friend for a long time. And when someone I consider a friend appears to not regard me with care any more suddenly and I don't even have closure on that... well... it hurts... A lot. Of course I never talk about it.

And I'm not stupid, I have seen some stuff she's said that I've gathered was about me. I remind myself that she has a right to vent in her own spaces and I truly mean that... it's just a shame that her own spaces have people who then have taken these things to me to show me (after all, I wouldn't have even seen these things myself if not for third-party anons going 'this u?') saying it is my own fault because I was a terribly cruel friend or my own fault for not listening to warnings about her when I had the chance and that makes me a stupid gullible bitch. You lot haven't seen some of the awful shit about me from some of her more ravenous fans and haters I've seen over the years that I've had to let roll off my back in the fear it would bring backlash - not even to me, to her. I don't want to be the cause of any hatred going to anyone.

Also I'm just not going to ever talk about the details of our fallen friendship or our fallen relationship. That's private. She might be a public person to some extent but I never was, even if I do gain some measure of small fandom for my work one day I'm just private about personal matters especially raw ones. I almost deleted this ask entirely but Idk I never stated that it bothers me when people talk to me about her from my own mouth, so I guess that's what this ramble is.

If you send me anything about Lily Orchard it will not be addressed. I am not a part of her life not even through our mutual friends. I do not know or care what's going on with her public/personal life. I haven't kept up. I will never keep up. Don't treat me as an extension of the situation because I am not in the situation. In the most plainly stated sense of the word: Leave me the Hell alone. (...pretty please.)

All I've wanted this entire time was to be left alone to process everything in a healthy, peaceful way. I'm workin' on it.

[thevoidstaredback]

2021

Me: I work in a different city almost everyday this month. Can I take the train? It'll save ya gas and money and time

Parents: No

2022

Me: I work in a different city almost everyday this month. To save gas and money, can I take the train?

Parents: No

2023

Me: I work in a different city almost everyday this month. Can I take the train to save gas and money?

Parents: No

2024

Me: I work in a different city almost everyday this month. Can I take the train to save gas and money?

Parents: No

Parents, a week later: Buy a train pass because gas is expensive

Me: Okay, but I don't get paid until Tuesday

Parents, that Tuesday: Don't get a pass; we'll take you to work

Me: Alright, then I'm going to spend this $85 on food and gas

Parents, yesterday: You're taking the train to work tomorrow because gas is expensive

Me, to myself: If you'd actually teach me to drive, we wouldn't be having this problem