#I don't care if it's not supposed to be romantic drama

[riyathebibliomaniac]

Just a guy on a cute date with his possessed girlfriend! ☺😍🥰

(Don't remind me of the context please. Let me be delusional. 🙏)

[violetasteracademic]

The bonus chapter that ended Nessian

This is honestly really surprising to me. Apparently there are people out there that think Nesta and Cassian are going to end up together. Have they not read their bonus chapter? SJM effectively ended them.

First of all, the way they think about each other is not romantic at all:

Cassian has no idea where he stands with her, and as you can see, he is so unhealthily obsessed with Nesta that he can't stop thinking about her and literally rushed to interact with her even though she doesn't even like him and is mean to him! If Sarah wanted this be be romantic, she could have made totally different choices. We could have learned they shared secret touches or looks, have their fingers trembling or breath catching around each other. But no, just confusion and unhealthy obsession on Cassian's part. Honestly, he kinda seems like an incel here.

Worse than that, it's clear he obviously only lusts after her:

He literally has not said one thing about her personality! He's just weirdly obsessed with her boobs and her scent and is just thinking about her stroking him. If we were supposed to have gleaned he has real feelings for her, and not just lust, couldn't Sarah have added something more sweet and personal here? I don't know. Maybe he could have brought her a thoughtful present that shows how much he sees and understands her when no one else does. But no. He just wants to get laid and touch her boobs. Honestly, ugh.

And let's not even get started about the Mor thing!

Cassian slept with Mor because he was jealous of Azriel! And if you recall, in ACOMAF Morrigan said Cassian just wants what he can't have and it has driven Cassian crazy for centuries that Mor never wanted him again after they slept together once. Rhys confirms this too.

Nesta clearly is not interested in Cassian. In fact, she knees him in the balls right after this. Honestly? This actually seems like a really toxic perpetuation of the Mor situation. Cassian yet again wants what he can't have, and it is actually in the canon text that he has this problem. Also, notice that he's ashamed of this situation and embarrassed to tell Mor about it? That's not a very good setup for a romance. He should have the full support of his friends and family in order for Nessian to work.

He calls himself stupid, he knows it's wrong, he just doesn't care for a moment because of the lust. Again, Nesta knees him in the balls. Not interested. Take a hint you creepy incel! And even though he was fully planning on devouring her lips, he is clearly not anymore!

But here's the real nail in the coffin:

Nesta forbids him from coming back. She threatens that she'll scream if he does and she is only willing to work with and talk to anyone but him. How is he supposed to get around that? How is their relationship supposed to develop if he is forbidden from talking to her and seeing her? I just don't understand how this is supposed to resolve in the books. At least hundreds, if not a few thousand of the tens or hundreds of thousands of SJM readers have read this bonus chapter. There's no way to come back from this.

Also- did you notice in ACOFAS Nessian's same drama is still playing out, but SJM interestingly enough introduces a character named Emerie and they have a scene together? Seems like SJM is clearly telling us Nessian isn't happening and setting up a new love interest for Cassian. Based on their limited interactions, it's actually really obvious to me that they are a much better fit and there is already a ton of foreshadowing that they are endgame. In fact, I think they are mates!

I swear this has nothing to do with the fact that I dislike Nesta. I mean, do I dislike her, and do I think Cassian deserves better? Yeah. But that's not relevant here. What's relevant is text and foreshadowing and the fact that I don't like Nesta and think Cassian deserves better because I've self inserted myself into Sarah's writing and want her to do what I want and I don't want Archeron sisters I don't like winding up with a bat boy I love.

Wait no... Ignore that second part I didn't mean to type that out.

[maybe-boys-do-love]

Was thinking today about Cherry Magic Thailand, and all respect to the writing (which deftly navigated the challenging task of adapting a full-on classic) and the rest of the cast and crew, but has any QL series' success hinged so much on a single actor going above and beyond in a performance as Cherry Magic Thailand does on Tay Tawan's portrayal of Karan???

That character could have fallen so detrimentally flat. He is perfection personified. Even after Achi discovers his so-called 'imperfections' (which are just that he sings bad and is crushing extra hard on Achi), the writing doesn't ever let Karan come off his pedestal. He remains put together, impossibly patient, and admirably righteous. His stress in life is that people don't respect his hard work because he's so beautiful! This character, in theory, should not really strike an audience as likeable. The writers could have used the one facet of his family-drama that emerges in the penultimate episode to build a deeper character in the writing, but elect not to even hint at it any earlier in the series.

So much heavy lifting is left to Tay, and the performance is a wonder to behold. Tay Tawan is certainly attractive in the way Karan is supposed to be attractive--fit, tall, handsome--but Tay's face and earnest dorky demeanor are unique in a way that seem far too rare in the influencer era. The breadth of his nose, the goofy joy in his smile, the clownish clumsiness, the nerdiness of his interests (the GMMTV actor most likely to be reposting a popular science article or rare animal sighting): Tay brings all of these elements of himself to bear on the poised idol of Karan, playing all the parts of the romantic hero while letting his own characteristics distill onto it so that the character actually contains valuable tension for the audience between his faultlessness and the slow reveal of his sincerity. That dynamic lies at the core of the show, and it's a less explored one in media, so all the more challenging to do.

But Tay understands the assignment. He goes full-in when Achi hears Karan's inner voice, squealing and talking manically fast (a real-life Tay Tawanism as well as a wonderful connection to Japanese performance styles). Once the characters begin their romance, so much effort is put in to have Karan looking at Achi, not just with love, but with the deepest gratitude. That's what most often had me crying. In fact, it often looked like Karan was on the verge of happy tears, overwhelmed by the fortune to love and be allowed to love Achi.

Being able to appreciate Karan's sincerity opens up an avenue for the audience to care about his challenges that on the surface seem so superficial. Tay is able to take this character's struggle to be taken seriously and make it as worthy and pitiable as any narrative about women in the workplace struggling with that issue, and that's not an easy feat in this day and age. Whether in Karan's affections or disappointments, Tay exhibits such humility and unabashedness in his performance throughout the series, it renders the otherwise familiar messages about the value of the small unappreciated things in the world as enchanted and life-changing.

And incredibly amongst all this, the series REQUIRES by its very title for Karan to have a sex drive, and even that desire threads through Tay's portrayal of the character as he interacts with Achi, maintaining an incredible balance between a fun and dorky excitement about sex and a potent sensuality (it's such a great sex scene when it finally comes).

Tay took a paragon and made him such a fully fleshed-out and realized character. I just can't imagine the series working without such a masterfully crafted performance. The whole cast did great work, don't get me wrong. Tay's is just one of those magical reminders about what the art of acting can achieve.

[vladdyissues]

How do you feel about all this Sam x Danny (knowing we literally ship Vlad and Danny), I feel like if Sam finds out about a pompous relationship he would try to take Danny off Vlad's hands 😭 (I was thinking about a fanfic of that style, what do you think?)

(About the ship) I'd probably feel a lot more positive about Amethyst Ocean if Sam's character had been written a little better and their relationship wasn't bristling with so many red flags and contrary, counterintuitive moments. Like in S3E09, when Danny dreams of kissing Sam, wakes up screaming, and literally calls it "a nightmare". This is supposed to be the endgame relationship of the entire series? Come on, Butch.

But I don't hate AO. I tolerate it in canon and pretty much ignore it in fandom. Ship and let ship ✌ But when it comes to fanfic, it's all too easy to end up unfairly bashing the "unwanted" character in the love triangle, especially if the author already doesn't like the character.

Character bashing is the expression of hostility towards a character by fans. Bashing occurs in a wide variety of fandom activities and fanworks, such as fanfiction and meta posts, and takes many forms. It may be done by demonizing a character, referring to them with derogatory terms, or making them the subject of deathfics or spitefics. Discussion of character bashing is often the subject of drama, as fans may take personal offense at what they perceive as undeserved bashing. Fanlore, Character Bashing

I wrote a few fics of this nature long ago, and while they might have been mildly funny on the surface, they were really quite boring and out of character. Crackfic, basically. I kind of cringe just thinking about them because they fall under the fandom faux pas of "annoying female character with the canon romantic connection getting in the way of my beloved non-canon m/m ship".

This isn't to say you shouldn't write a fanfic about a shocked or jealous Sam trying to break up Danny and Vlad's relationship, but I think it should be handled with care—at least if you're trying to write Sam realistically or have a story with a semisweet or bittersweet ending. If you want to go the toxic, twisted, dark route—which is quite intriguing, to be honest—all that matters is making sure Sam doesn't turn into a parody or a punching bag. She's got to be believable, human, and at least somewhat true to her character.

Like, we know she loves Danny. (Unless she's planning on getting revenge, she isn't going to intentionally hurt him.) Her heart is broken, possibly her dreams, too. She's worried for him. She doesn't trust that Vlad hasn't brainwashed Danny or is manipulating him somehow. Why didn't Danny even tell her he liked Vlad, or that they had made peace with each other? Was Danny so repulsed by the thought of dating her that Vlad looked like a better option? Does she think she's responsible for Danny realizing he's gay or bi? Oof.

These are some of the questions I'd be asking myself before I even started writing. Of course, you're welcome to ignore me and proceed with your own concepts if you've already decided on how you want to write your fic. Whatever you decide to do, do it with all your spirit!

[the-writing-writer]

I recently read your Karma x Sister oneshot and got to say it was amusing. So I would like to request a more oneshot like it. Reader is friends with Asano and Asano got kind of feelings for Reader but Karma absolutely despairs anyone dating his precious sister especially Asano out of everyone.

Like so it's not really got to be romantic or that was drama but I would like to see interaction between Asano and Karma regarding Reader. It sounds so chaotic and I would love to read that haha!

Also it's okay if you don't want to read, it's fine. Even reading this request was enough<3 Thanks for reading and have a nice day ahead! :D

Thank you so much for the request and the kind words<3

Big Brother…

Pairing: Yandere!Karma x Sister!Reader

Warnings: Yan themes, cursing, violence

During your time in A-Class, you had grown comfortable with Asano, and even became friends with him. He was the perfect gentleman when it came to you. And had even taken to calling you petnames, not putting any meaning behind it.

Or so he thought.

It wasn’t long before Asano realized how much he went out of his way for you and how close he was to you compared to other people in school and even in his life.

And Karma didn’t like that.

Not when another man was trying to get close to his baby sister. His precious girl. His. His his his his his.

And if anyone tries to get between him and his little sister, there’d be hell to pay.

He’s your big brother. Your knight in shining armor. The first guy you’re ever supposed to trust. The only one you’re supposed to trust.

Him. Only him.

Asano can’t have you. Not now. Not ever. He’s a manipulative narcissist who cares only about himself.

What do you mean Karma’s the same way?! No he’s not! He’s your big brother, why on earth would he manipulate you!?

Except he does. You’re such a young, innocent, naive little sister. He has to protect you! Even if that means using unconventional methods to do so.

You don’t need any other man in your life. You shouldn’t even want another man in your life. He’s more than enough.

And big brother will make sure you and Asano know that.

“Whatever you’re thinking about my sister, stop thinking it. She doesn’t need a selfish, manipulative bastard like you in her life.”

Karma had managed to find Asano after an assembly, making sure you had gone with Karasuma before he approached his rival.

“You think I’m going to stay away from her just because you say so? I’m not one of those cowards you can push around in the lower classes. And you’re going to talk about how she doesn’t need a manipulative bastard in her life? Then you stay away from her, Akabane.”

Asano’s words had struck a nerve. And in an instant, Karma’s fist was clenched and moving towards the others face.

“Big brother! What’re you doing!?”

Your voice had brought him back to reality, quickly lowering his fist and turning to face you with a smile. “My little Angel! What’re you doing here! I thought you went ahead with Mr. Karasuma?”

“I did, but then I realized you weren’t with us! I got worried and came looking for you! What’re you doing to Asano!” Your face turned downward in nervousness, unclear of what was happening between the two boys.

“Nothing, Sweet Girl. We’re just having a little chat. Isn’t that right, Akabane?” Asano taunted, knowing that Karma wouldn’t do anything dirty in front of you.

Taking a few steps towards you, Karma grabbed your hand and began dragging you away from Asano, a hard glare on his face. “Right. You see, little sis? Nothings wrong. Now come on, let’s get you back to class.”

“Back with me where you belong.”

[4rs0n1stt]

Talk To You //

Hopeless!Romantic!Donnie x Fem!Reader

author's note; kinda like a song fic (it's not) but yeah, super super late though!!  Donnie's POV btw!!

yes it's been a 3 months 😋

Synopsis; Donnie has been keeping an eye on someone, being a hopeless romantic and his ”bad boy image“ isn't particularly helping.

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I hate this, I really hate this. Einstein, fucking help me. I wasn't supposed to like her! I wasn't supposed to like anyone!! I do not have any romantic feelings to her. But every single thing that I researched said otherwise. Even my own brother says so!! Why does everytime I look at you I get so— vulnerable? Staring at your face always made me calm. Admiring? Ew. But— those little short eye contacts are indescribably astonishing to feel. Maybe just maybe?

I don't know. You're messing up my mind- you little—

"Gahh, what should I do?" I groaned and slammed my head onto my table, a pencil fell from the said table. I stayed silent, frustrated at this ungodly useless feelings I've been feeling. I couldn't take her off my mind. All day long, I daydream about her which takes most of my productivity a waste. I haven't done anything but think about that little twat.

Reflecting doesn't help at all, all I think was her and her! Thinking about now, I just don't know why you keep being calm even though I've been so mean to you. I shouldn't do anything stupid like that but I can't help it, I'm figuring this out.

Feelings are so complicated to feel and such an unfortunate thing for me to have something people call as “humane“.

"Hey Donnie! Someoneeee~ got pizza!! She has your favourite!" Leo yelled at the other side of my door. Disturbing me from my reminiscing of this said person. Leo always knew about what our relation—rivalryship (even if it's partially one-sided) is. And he uses it as an advantage to tease me, specifically—fucking with me up.

I wouldn't blame him entirely though, I liked and hated this feeling. He doesn't know anyway. I wouldn't blame him aswell, she's really...cool, I guess.

I stopped myself from thinking about her before it gets worse. I fixed myself, not just physically but mentally, it's an eager to make her impress. But she wouldn't be impressed as I have been mean to her.

As I went to the main room, I wasn't particularly sure where they were but as I, the genius, were right. They were all huddled up with each other. Apparently they missed her for being gone for 13 days, 56 minutes and 12 seconds-

Goddamnit it...

"Ughhh, finally!! Some break from that shithole." She complained, I wondered. She picked a sliced pizza on the placed pizza on the ground and sat at the bean bag. She sighed releasing the stress and pain from her back...I suppose.

"Girl. Spill everything."  Leo spoke excitedly like a girl's girl. Everyone gets their preferred pizza and/or pillows, blankets and sat with her. Curious on her new stories about her college.

I was really uninterested about school, but I find myself listening on her rantings about the latest drama, tea and struggles on her daily life of college. I somewhat don't understand her words, I don't care anyway. Her voice has always been nice to hear even if she stuttered sometimes.

But every flaws she had was attractive. It's...unfair. That she's so extraordinary and remarkable human that we happen to stumble upon. I looked at her longingly, eyeing her squinted smile, her pimples, her.

I wish I can talk to you.

To talk to you without any mean remarks towards her, to be able to hear her laugh and compliments towards my acts.

I want to be near her, to feel her presence all of the time. To spend time with her just like my brothers do. How I envy them, surprisingly.

It's so frustrating, it's been years. I've been struggling with my quote unquote "love" or "admiration" towards her. She must be a witch, no one can make me feel like a hopeless pathetic, lovesick dog!

Even if I wanted to confess, I wouldn't have the chance to, I'm way too vulnerable when we're alone. I get so shy and flustered to do it.

Let alone I'm horrible at confronting my feelings, I can even write a damn letter for Einstein's sake!

I just- can't do it now

I'm hopeless.

Yet I desire for you.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

author's note here; yes it's been months, i apologize deeply. literally fucking school is devouring my existence and motivation rn not to mention I have a deadline to finish (cough March 29 cough) and I haven't even started it.

credits to Rick Montgemery for his astonishing songsssssssssss

[transsongtaewon]

On the screen, a man and a woman kissed in the rain, possibly while crying.

Based on Yoohyun's half-hearted observations on the drama, before this scene, they had broken up no less than three times, destroyed multiple life-long friendships, and been, just, really annoying all the way through. But now they had their happy ending. At least until they found out that the man had slept with the woman's evil twin. Yoohyun wasn't sure if the man knew it was the twin and not the woman, but he also did not particularly care.

He mostly just wanted the drama to end.

Not that he had anything better to do while waiting for Yoojin to get done at the vet clinic. Technically, Yoojin's shift had ended ten minutes ago, but it wasn't like a secretary could just hang up in the middle of a phone-call, no matter how annoying the caller was. At least that's what Yoojin claimed, Yoohyun did not feel the same.

But until Yoojin came to get him, he would just have to sit in the waiting room and watch the drama the clinic for some reason considered suitable waiting-room-entertainment. Maybe it had been chosen because there was an entire arc centered around a dog dying and was therefore deemed thematically relevant for people who came to the clinic to have their dogs put down.

When those episodes aired the waiting room was filled with more sniffles than usual.

Yoohyun really wished the drama had never been filmed back then.

"Did you have to wait long?"

"No, hyung."

Yoojin was wearing the jacket he had been given at his delivery job, still layered above the vet-clinic scrubs, looking exhausted but cheerful. The same as he always did.

Yoohyun smiled at him. Yoojin grinned back.

Yoojin cast a look at the tv where the man and the woman were now holding hands in a park, interrupted by occasional shots of the woman-but-with-glasses-on (the evil twin) looking menacing.

He sighed dreamily. "Ah, love. Beautiful, isn't it?"

Yoohyun was not entirely sure what exactly was supposed to be beautiful about all the miscommunication and tears he had been told by countless shows and movies were the pinnacle of love, but he nodded along anyway.

"And to think one day, my beloved little brother will find love for himself." Yoojin ruffled his hair, making Yoohyun pout a little.

"But I already love you more than anyone, hyung."

Yoojin laughed, clearly touched but also bemused. "But Yoohyun-ah, I don't meant that kind of love. I mean when you grow up and meet a nice girl to settle down with and I get to babysit all my cute nieces and nephews."

"Mhm."

Yoohyun decided not to protest any more. Yoojin seemed to care greatly about Yoohyun's hypothetical romantic future, even if Yoohyun knew deep down that he would never love anyone that way.

He realised this basically the moment the concept of romantic love started being floated around by the adults in his life, be it by the kindergarten teachers calling any boys and girls playing together "little boyfriends and girlfriends" or fairy tales declaring the power of the love's kiss. It all sounded rather silly to him.

Very few seemed to share his perspective on the matter, though. Maybe he was just born different. It wouldn't be the only way he failed to match the expectations for a person.

"Come on, Yoohyun. We have to run if we want to catch the bus."

Yoohyun got up and patted down his school uniform, making sure he didn't leave anything behind in the waiting room. As they went outside, he threw one last glance at where the man and the woman were having carefully choreographed, mostly implied sex and knew that this would never be him.

Written for Sctir Pride Week Day 5: "Born This Way"

[thewhumpcaretaker]

Is me again with Wick D'Antonio ask HELLOO :D

I remembered how you asked me about Santino's and John's wedding, like how it would look like and all that, SOOO :)

What do you think about their wedding! How do you see it? Where would it be? Who would be invited, etc?

How would they act? Are they both nervous or one of them is handling it better? ^ ^

Wick D'Antonio!!! What's interesting to me is that their wedding would look really different if they were still a part of the Table, versus in retirement. It's more romantic if they're retired, but I think it has more drama if they're still in the Table, so I'll do that version.

This was almost a fic - it has a plot honestly. Might write it later, we'll see!

Image sources: 1 2 3 (monogram) 3 (background) 4 5

You're absolutely right that they'd have a beach wedding. Beaches are important for both of them.

John lets Santino do most of the planning for their suits and for the theme, because fashion and decoration are his area of expertise. "Anything you pick will be beautiful."

So they have a blue color scheme with touches of silver, on top of lots of billowing white fabrics and blue and white flowers. And of course, the food is extravagant because he can afford it.

Coffee-flavored wedding cake with hand sculpted John and Santino cake toppers!! They both like coffee, so it's perfect. John thinks the cake toppers are really funny.

Santino has an extravagant blue suit and John wears white (You might expect black, but today isn't about him as a killer, it's about his new life with Santino and his sweeter side). They weren't going to see each other's suits before the wedding, but then Santino got too excited about picking clothes and they ended up suit shopping together. They also both have silver flower crowns, because I said so!

The guest list is a nightmare. Santino has to make sure no one is snubbed, because being invited to a wedding has political significance within the Table (not to mention within his family), and you don't want to make enemies. So he has to be really careful. Especially with the seating chart…

Security is a big issue as well, because this is a perfect time for assassination. John and Ares are both overworked trying to make sure the grooms will be safe.

When he's working on the guest list and security, Santino gets overwhelmed and starts to break down because he feels like their wedding isn't even about them anymore - there's too much politics involved. Plus, he's scared someone will take the opportunity to make an attempt on his life before his new life with John can even begin. So John has to calm him down and remind him that no matter what happens, he'll protect him from any fallout and they'll be on their honeymoon soon, which is only for them.

On the other hand, John barely has any guests. There's Winston, Caine, Sofia, and Katia, and…that's about it. It makes Santino a bit sad to see it, and he tries to make sure John can hang out with his family if he wants to. At least with Gianna.

There's a lot of back-and-forth in John's mind over whether to invite The Director. Ultimately, he decides not to do it. He says it's because she wouldn't really want to come anyway, but he honestly just doesn't want to see her on a day that is supposed to be happy.

On the day of the wedding, both of them are soooo nervous!! Santino wants everything to go well and according to plan - he's constantly fussing over his suit and pacing around memorizing his vows. John is nervous too, but he expresses it by being deathly quiet and just having a worried look on his face.

But once they see each other, everything melts away and they're smiling so much and can't stop crying. Their vows are so sweet - to protect each other to the death, to be there in sickness and health, to honor and listen to each other, to always be each other's first priority, to show each other the innocence that can't be found in the rest of this broken world.

And then…THE WEDDING DOES GET ATTACKED!!! But here's the twist: although neither of them told the other because they don't want to worry them, both of them decide to carry concealed weapons during the ceremony, just in case they need to protect each other. They both pull out their weapons at the same time and kill the assassins.

The attack is a blessing in disguise: it turns out to be a display of their strength, solidifying Santino's reputation and teaching others not to mess with the power couple!! It's also a demonstration of their love for each other and everyone is touched.

This gives them a nice boost of adrenaline as fuel for their wedding night ;) They're definitely making love with a passion because they're so grateful that both of them made it out alive…and because Santino thinks the splash of blood on John's white suit is actually kind of hot. They can barely get through the dancing after dinner before rushing off to be alone together <3

[sebbyisland]

my hakuhiro thesis.

Hakuri x Chihiro is hilarious because neither of them have any idea of what romance looks like. Both grew up isolated from society and their peers. I don't think either of them would actually develop DEEP romantic feelings until they are older. There would probably be some romantic/sexual tension in fleeting moments.

Hakuri maybe has movies as a reference for romance but idk if Chihiro did anything like that with his dad in the middle of the woods, and if he did it’s probably old samurai films like Seven Samurai. Chihiro had a childhood crush on actor Toshiro Mifune (understandable) and his dad knew but decided to let him figure it out on his own. He didn’t figure it out. Chihiro doesn't know homosexuality exists until age ~17.

During the years hunting for any news on the enchanted blade with Shiba, Shiba realizes Chihiro never reacts to the female models on billboards and magazines so he’s internally like (🏳️‍🌈?) and tries to be supportive by mentioning his queer friends but Chihiro is just like. Okay. Cool. Shiba lets it go; it doesn't really matter anyways.

Meanwhile in the current story timeline, Hakuri JUST figured out he’s not doomed to die alone and unloved. Sex and romance are not even on his radar. Hakuri COULD be more self aware except he still puts Chihiro on a pedestal as his “samurai” even though they are supposed to be equal allies. When Hakuri gets a little bit more self esteem he realizes he’s a hopeless romantic but still lacks the self awareness to consider his actual feelings and Chihiro is just objectively hot, actualy. They are blood brothers for years.

They would 100% sleep on the same bed as bros without question. I’m pretty sure everyone in their little squad would just pile on the same bed and sleep. But these two, specifically, are immune to so many romance tropes it’s stupid.

After some time Shiba once again goes "🏳️‍🌈?" but feels like he’s hallucinating everything because everyone else is like Chihiro? With a crush? Sounds fake but okay. But Shiba KNOWS Chihiro puts extra butter on Hakuri’s eggs. He SEES that Chihiro INITIATES fist bumps with Hakuri. They had a one arm hug that one time. Everyone else thinks those are pretty normal things to do, but Shiba is fucking dying. He’s too old to care about teenage drama. He’s 40 stuck with people ages 7 to 22ish. The young love, it's disgusting.

Hakuri-with-more-self-esteem says shit like "once we make a safer world, I can finally get a girlfriend in peace :) Chihiro will be my best man at our wedding and Char will be the flower girl :)” Shiba wants to STRANGLE him for this but Chihiro is just like “yeah I hope you find happiness (sincere), you deserve it”

Shiba's nephew is in love with a straight boy. He wants to cry. Hasn’t Chihiro suffered enough?!?! Maybe Chihiro will get over it maybe it’ll be fine. The reality is that Chihiro is so unbothered. He trusts Hakuri with his life and simply doesn't think further into that. He gets weird looks from Shiba sometimes and ignores them.

Flash forward to post-canon or near the final arc Hakiru is ACTUALLY flirting with Chihiro but he’s really bad at it. It's shojo manga embarrassing and he's 20 years old. NOW THE REST OF THE CREW REALIZES WHAT’S HAPPENING.

Chihiro at this point is a Black Box. His experience with men making passionate declarations of interest towards him are men trying to kill him and/or projecting their feelings about his dead dad on him. The deeper reason Hakiru's advances fly over is head is that Chihiro is most receptive to a quiet kind of love. He’s not one for grand gestures. He wants banter, he wants to wash each other's backs, he wants to go to sleep without feeling burdened by grief and guilt. He wants to be a swordsmith, not a samurai. He wants to build a home and a family.

Chihiro knows he is taken care of. He recognizes the kindness and love people show him and he gives it back. One day, it clicks for him that his relationship with Hakiru is drifferent from the rest of his friends/family. He asks him out. Obviously Hakiru says yes.

Hakiru thinks the flirting successfully communicated his feelings but Chihiro is nice enough not to correct him. It doesn't matter. They take things steady and roll with the punches and move in together and unofficially adopt char and get pet goldfish and fuck nasty and live HAPPILY EVER AFTER.

[mauesartetc]

Is it me, or is Vivziepop bad at writing romantic relationships? It feels like she wants to write "problematic", drama-filled romance where the characters start out toxic, there are misunderstandings, betrayals etc cuz the show is supposed to be about "problematic gays", and that's perfectly valid, but she can't write chemistry. So far, it feels like Blitzo clings to Stolas because he's afraid he will end up alone and unloved, but doesn't actually care for him as a person. He often looks uncomfortable with Stolas' flirting even if he reciprocates sometimes.

I've seen couples in children's media with much better written-relationships and chemistry, like Roxanne and Megamind. It's clear they enjoy each other's company, they have mutual banter and flirting and he respects her intelligence.

I know Stolitz is supposed to be "toxic" pre-character development but at this point it still sucks that so far, it's impossible to tell what the characters like about each other other than the sex.

(I've been told that Stolas enjoys how Blitzo made him laugh when they met during the circus but that's not been developed enough as a concept to count).

Yeah here's a thought: When has he made Stolas laugh during adulthood?! Where was that moment? What do they even have in common other than liking dudes?

Oh shit. I think I get why fans of this show accuse critics of being homophobic. It's because this relationship has literally no substance other than "they're gay". (Or Stolas might be, anyway. Their specific orientations are never clarified in the show that I can recall.) Oh, you don't like this mlm relationship? You must hate ALL mlm relationships. Funny how the fans are the ones fixated on that aspect while no one I've seen criticize the show has ever cited the homoerotica as evidence that this relationship sucks. No, it sucks because there's absolutely no depth to it. There's nothing to make us root for it to work.

Sure, the characters have their own personalities as individuals, and there's potential for chemistry in how those personalities and backgrounds oppose each other, but the show never explores it. What would happen if Stolas tried to fit into Blitzo's poverty-stricken school of hard knocks, or if Blitzo tried to fit in with high society? What if they just had a conversation about what life has been like for each of them? Where are the bonding moments that show us this is more than just a transactional arrangement (or at least that it could be)? What made Stolas suddenly fall in love with Blitzo offscreen between Episodes 6 and 7, after treating him like an object the entire season? Why the fuck does he care if Blitzo comes to see him in the hospital or not? Why should we care as viewers?

Funny enough, this neat video by LocalScriptMan just came out (check out this channel, seriously), and it talks about going deeper into writing relationships than just smashing two characters with differing personalities together. Again, differing personalities can create potential for chemistry (as each character learns new perspectives from the other), but a pairing of opposites isn't chemistry in and of itself.

If Helluva Boss's writers gave us a good mlm relationship with actual substance, more power to 'em! Maybe we'll get one with Asmodeus and Fizzarolli, but... ehh. It's doubtful at this point.

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

What are your opinions on more „popular“ salt takes about Adrien and Mari, like the typical „Adrichat is an ass for for flirting with LB after she rejects him“ and „Maribug us a horrible stalker“?

Well, I'd be lying if I said that I have no idea where they're coming from. There are definitely times when I'll watch an episode and wonder what in the world the writers are trying to do, especially when it comes to Adrien's behavior as it's played a lot more straight than Marinette's. While I don't like her behavior at times, it's almost always treated as a joke, not a dramatic character beat whereas I cannot say the same for Adrien.

But these are characters in a TV show, not real people and we need to keep that in mind when judging them. It's why my go-to thought is "what is wrong with the writing staff" and not "Adrien is an incel." Because Adrien is very clearly not supposed to be an incel. Unless the writers are plotting something truly asinine, the Love Square is our end game couple. We are supposed to view Adrien as a charming and funny romantic lead. When he falls short of that role, it's not Adrien "showing his true colors." He's a fictional character. He has no true colors. If his actions and words are ever unbecoming for a romantic lead, it's because the writers are failing to write Adrien the way they want us to see him.

They consistently do this to all of the characters. Alya's supposed to be an awesome friend and a smart journalist (I think), but she can't see through Lila's BS. Marinette's parents are supposed to be loving and supportive, but they randomly believed that their daughter stole from their bakery to make a dress and didn't even try to let her explain herself. Nino is supposed to be the Chosen of Protection, but he didn't care to protect his best friend and just happily sent Gabriel on a rampage without a second thought.

Give me a character and I can point to a bunch of episodes that justify every salty take this fandom has because they're not pulling this stuff from thin air. They're picking and choosing the worst writing in the show and venting about it, which is frankly understandable. Like I get why there are so many Alya salt fics. Her writing in the Lila episodes is infuriating and I do find those fics a little cathartic at times. But it's really, really obvious that she's not supposed to be a terrible friend. She's a victim of the writers drawing the Lila plot line out for far too long and making Lila's lies far too obvious.

Similarly, a lot of the issues with Adrien and Marinette stem from the fact that you simply can't draw a romance plot out for five seasons without causing issues unless you make the romance a background plot. But they didn't do that. The love square is front and center for most episodes, but since it can't actually resolve, the writers keep adding drama that makes our leads feel horribly unhealthy.

On the Marinette side, her not being able to talk to Adrien was fine as an initial issue, but we are five seasons into this show. Over 100 episodes! You reach a point where it stops being cute and starts being concerning. It's also not helped by the fact that Marinette's crush is written like a celebrity crush and not a crush on someone she actually knows. Daily exposure to Adrien should mellow her out. Especially since he's supposed to be her friend! But if the writers let Marinette talk to Adrien, then they'd grow closer and might feel like they had to get together, so they couldn't let that. Thus Marinette being a disaster for four seasons and the terrible shoehorned plot to try and justify it in season five.

On the Adrien side, they let Chat Noir confess too soon. Prior to that, the Ladynoir relationship was a playful one where it was feasible that Ladybug just viewed her kitty as a massive flirt. This was especially true since he flirts with everyone. But once she knew that he was serious? The playfulness vanished and Chat Noir started coming across as entitled and pushy. It didn't help that they had him ignoring her preferences ("Don't call me Bugaboo") and getting them in trouble by not taking his job seriously (his flirting getting them hit in Oblivio).

In summary, the love square should have been resolved much sooner or been relegated to a b plot that got far less attention. I also would have reversed the square since it makes for a far more interesting story that you can organically draw out longer, but that's just me. I don't have any issue with people ignoring the canon problems and just writing Adrien and Marinette as the cute couple that they were obviously intended to be. I also enjoy fics that treat Adrien's pushiness as a character flaw that can be resolved because that's what canon should have done. His issues aren't the mark of a terrible person. They're the understandable flaws of a teenager who is in love for the first time and doesn't know how to express himself. If a show would actually address this kind of common tween/teen issue, then a lot of kids would get an incredibly valuable lesson that would help them when they grow up and fall in love. If you're ever watching Miraculous with a kid, I strongly encourage you to approach Adrien's character from that perspective. Talk about why his actions are understandable, but ultimately wrong and more likely to push someone away than win their heart just like we see with Ladybug.

[poetessurielle999]

"You look good together."

But it was better when we were far apart from each other. [Not proofread]

Pathetic of me, aren't I? I ran away from the words that isn't supposed to haunt me in my sleep. It only sounded like a friendly joke—that we look like a lovely couple.

Except in that joke, I was the laughingstock.

"She's so in love with him, it's kind of creepy."

"She looks kind of weird with that look on her face."

"She wears her heart on her sleeve, such a drama."

And everyone clamors in laughter, thundering in applause while the tomato ketchup on my cheeks become the tears I wish to sob out way before this happened.

Why is it wrong of me to look at my friend with care? With gentleness? I do not need to like him romantically for me to form a genuine connection. He is a dear friend, will always be, yet it scares me that people never saw it that way.

They always think my kindness is flirtatious, and now I don't even know what they want me to be. I always seem to be terrible in their eyes and I wish I can get away from them sooner.

But instead, I got away from the dear friend whom I cared deeply, because I care, and I fear that it might affect him too. They might destroy his image together with my own and I'd hate that.

And I have tolerated enough of his behaviors that makes it look like he does have romantic feelings for me.

He isn't. He will never have feelings. He is not into girls.

I'm so exhausted and obliterated of everything. As a poet, I bleed words, yet the words of others can instantly kill me without a drop of blood.

A. "Urielle"

[koreandragon]

Final thoughts about love next door? Both the show and the main romance? I thought it had a lot less depth than it wanted to think it did and one of the most underwhelming romance I've ever seen I don't know why I was supposed to root for them since one of them came off like an obsessive weirdo and the other one came off like she was barely invested in this relationship which for a supposed romance is not a good look.

i was just about to make a post gathering my thoughts so i'll just write them here. i agree with the things you said.

it started off so well, i really liked their dynamic, the writing was witty and fun and it had great potential for that friends to lovers angst. then it fell into the mistake so many dramas seem to fall into and it's that it seemed to lose sight of what it was supposed to be, which was a romance/family drama. it definitely didn't have the depth it thought it had although they made some good points in the beginning with the overworking and depression. i still don't know what the point of seok ryu's stomach cancer was aside from bringing tension between every single character and to have the conflict drawn out for a few more episodes. it was basically a plot device to speed up the romance and to have her family realize how much they've mistreated her.

which brings me to seok ryu's family in particular. i know that no family is perfect and it's natural to have flaws but seok ryu's mom specifically was getting on my nerves. all she cared about was herself, her reputation, what people would think of her and what's bad in her life. like what do you mean it took your daughter getting cancer for you to realize you've been treating her like shit? the whole side story with seung hyo's parents was of no interest to me either, too much time wasted on his parents rekindling their romance and the mom's fake dementia and cheating.

haein and somin seemed to have great chemistry only when they were still friends, after the romance started to develop it felt forced and uncomfortable which was heightened by the fact that the show was content with having minimal intimacy and chaste kisses. seok ryu said she ignored her feelings for 30 years and that she actually liked him first which they have shown no proof of, she didn't even think about him like that until he confessed which is where the show took a nosedive for me. their initial chemistry and bickering just disappeared and instead there was this weird tension and energy between them which can be attributed to the fact that there was this thing hanging between them, seung hyo made things awkward by confessing. but even after they got together it's like they haven't been friends for 30 years and they switched into full couple mode, talking sweetly and romantically which just felt out of place and not how we got to know them and their dynamic. they brought it back briefly only in the last episode with the headlocking and the fighting at the end.

my main issue with the show was that i was Bored. boring. too many plotlines and characters and relationships i did Not care about. episodes and episodes (with an average runtime of 1h 20m btw which was unnecessary) of the main couple suffering after seung hyo's confession because he kept pushing her for an answer and she didn't know what to answer him so episodes just went by with basically no development in their relationship.

the two exes taking up the air for several episodes was mind numbing.

mo eum, dan oh and yeon du did not interest me at all, they were basically as exciting as a saltine cracker. the only compelling thing about that relationship was that he was a single father which they backtracked on and revealed he's actually her uncle, nothing to see here. i was bothered by the chasteness of the main couple (who got one implied sex scene) but this couple were driving me up the wall with how sanitized and underwhelming their romance was. i have more electricity between me and my carpet when i rub my socks on it. kim ji eun was wonderful i like her because she's very lively and funny but watching yun ji on act was like being waterboarded. not trying to be a hater but i don't know if he was directed so badly or he's just Like That. every time we got a pre schooler level peck on the lips i took psychic damage.

there were things i was uninterested in but i still appreciated like the lavender group, i think it's cute that there was a similar friend group as the main one but with older women and it's important to represent that. or the dad's struggle with wanting to provide for his family and feeling inadequate and coming to terms with his retirement to make place for his daughter's dream. although me liking this had a lot to do with how much i like the actor who portrayed the dad because he made me feel very sympathetic towards him.

this was one of those dramas that felt too sanitized and polished for me, the romance was underwhelming because it was so tired and overdone that it didn't make me feel any tingles. just a very forgettable drama all in all

[proshipping-polls]

Do you ship it?

Reasons: Twincest/Selfcest

Consider reblogging for a larger sample size!

Propaganda under the cut!

Propaganda:

"I don't necessarily ship it (I'm a Rin/Gumi and Len/Fukase girlie myself) but honestly the fandom drama is more fascinating to me than the ship itself.

Because their canonical relationship is ambiguous, people can get INTENSE about whether its okay to ship them or not. Like, iirc- they were originally *supposed* to be twins, but that concept was scrapped (I've seen sources that vary on how late this was scrapped, so I don't know if it was something that was done away with almost immediately on the drawing board or something that made it all the way up to release), and now I believe the official line is that they're mirror images, but with general ambiguity about what that means and what their exact relationship is.

I don't know how many people ship them as twins *and* lovers, but there's a lot of people who see them as twins who REALLY oppose other people instead viewing them as romantic and view this as incest, even if the person shipping them does not consider them to be related. There's another, smaller contingent that take that "mirror image" relationship status as meaning they're two halves of one person / alternate versions of each other, and also get mad at people who ship them romantically because they view it as selfcest. As someone who doesn't really care *that* much about what their relationship is (I lean towards viewing them as siblings, but it's w/ever to me mostly), it's just kinda fascinating to watch all the back and forth about what the hell their relationship is and if it's ok to ship them unfold."

[faulty-writes]

[ This was requested by the lovely @todoroki-vivian a while ago. I finally got around to writing it and while it's short, I hope you enjoy it nonetheless. The summary is below the banner. ]

[ Most could only dream of having a relationship with a pro hero, but you agreed to be in a "fake" one with Katsuki or "Ground Zero" as he's known by the public. Of course, the funny thing is you had feelings for him, and who could blame you? But what happens when you confess those feelings, will it make or break everything? ]

This situation was unthinkable to most, and it was probably a wonder to society why you were with Katsuki Bakugou otherwise known as "Ground Zero, The Explosive Hero." Of course, nobody knew the dirty little secret behind your relationship which was there was no relationship.

Katsuki came up with the plan, although the explanation that followed it didn't make sense. "What!? This is so my future fans don't try anything, don't you get that!?" By "try anything" you assumed he meant bother him with romantic bullshit seeing as many heroes had fans that sometimes went a little too far.

Then again, you were one of the few people that knew Katsuki wanted a family one day. Still, you couldn't fathom why he chose you to have a "fake" relationship with. But since graduating, he continuously pestered or rather threatened your bodily well-being until you agreed to his twisted idea.

You didn't know what that entailed until the cameras started flashing whenever he saved the day and pulled you close to proclaim his "fake" love for you. This, of course, caused drama and rumors and on more than one occasion the two of you were on the cover of the latest gossip magazine.

It was amazing and yet expected that society would try anything to tear two heroes apart. But again, it was all for pretend so neither of you was affected that much. Well, at least you maintained that persona. The truth is you found yourself falling for the angry boom boom man.

Unfortunately, this was something you had to keep secret. After all, it was unlikely he felt the same way or so you believed. 'It's just pretend...' you constantly reminded yourself, and each and every time you added another crack to your heart which was bound to break.

"Pff," Katsuki shook his head and threw the latest scandalous magazine onto his desk before slumping in his chair. "Jeez, they don't let up do they!?" he exclaimed, closing his eyes, and clenching his teeth. You happened to be standing near the window, looking down at the crowd below.

Every minute or so, you could see the tiniest flash of light. "I guess not," you replied, turning to look at him and briefly forgetting about the paparazzi. It's not like they could get inside and even if they did, Katsuki would take care of them quick.

He growled and stood up from his desk. "Stop looking out the damn window already," he said, walking over. "Heh, unless you want to give them a show," he commented with a smirk, laying his hands on your hips, and pulling you close.

"Mm..." you glanced away, knowing this was just another opportunity he wanted to take to show off. "Do you...like kissing me or something?" you asked, tensing up as you were prepared for his negative reaction.

"Hm?!" he raised his eyebrow. "Just what the hell is that supposed to mean?" he hissed, now clenching his hands by his sides. "I wouldn't do it if I didn't like it dumbass!" your jaw tightened, and you looked toward the floor.

"No that's not what I..." you sighed. "Nevermind," you pushed against his chest and walked to the door. He blinked, somewhat surprised by your reaction. "Where the hell do you think you're going?!" he demanded, and you almost didn't want to answer him.

"Out," you replied, making him frown. "Pff, there's nothing but a bunch of damn paparazzi out there," he said, pointing to the window. "I just want to be alone right now," you said, wrapping your arms around yourself and glancing away from him.

You knew you didn't deserve to be upset because you were aware of what you were getting into when he first laid out this agreement. You knew you weren't supposed to get attached, but damn...you did anyway. His eyebrows raised and the angry expression that seemed to be permanently glued to his features all but faded.

He curled his hands into fists. "I'm not an idiot you know," he said with a snarl, closing the distance between the two of you. He slammed his hand against the doorframe above your head. "You don't think I can tell when something is wrong with you!?" he snapped.

"So, spit it out already, even if..." he paused, and glanced away. 'Can't believe I have to say this,' he thought, closing his eyes briefly. "Even if this is a damn...fake relationship I...I care about you," he muttered, opening his eyes.

"Mm..." you thought over his words and looked at him, trying to find any hint of doubt in his expression. You sighed and hoped he'd understand. "I...this relationship is..." he raised his eyebrow when you muttered "...nevermind," and slumped your shoulders.

He growled and once again slammed his hand against the doorframe. "Don't just start a damn sentence and end it! If you wanna say something, say it!" he demanded, leaning down to try and get you to look at him but your eyes remained focused on the floor.

Unlike most, you didn't flinch when he yelled at you. But you wondered if this was still him "caring" and knew that if the paparazzi somehow managed to squirm their way into the building and to "Ground Zero's" office, they'd see this as a lover's quarrel.

He waited for your response, but after a few minutes of silence, it was clear he was getting nowhere. "Alright fine!" he turned to sit at his desk. "If you actually wanna talk about this damn 'relationship' then come here," he said and grew annoyed when you refused to look at him.

"I said come here!" he snapped, gesturing to his lap. "You...want me to sit on your lap?" you asked, immediately leaning back when he growled in response. You glanced away again, taking a moment to regain your composure.

"Okay?" chances are he'd get more pissed if you didn't comply and while you had sat on his lap many times before, that was usually when the media was present. Your heart was racing by the time you came to stand in front of him.

"Well, what are you waiting for dumbass!?" he urged with a hiss. "G-give me a second! Jeez," you replied. A deep breath sounded, and you grabbed onto his shoulders, carefully straddling yourself onto his lap. 'This is so awkward,' you thought, and the flushed color of your cheeks gave you away.

"Heh, why are you blushing? You've sat in my lap before, don't act like it's a big deal!" he hissed, and you weren't sure if he was annoyed or making fun of you. Not that it mattered at the moment. You latched onto your bottom lip, digging your fingers into his shoulders remembering his words.

Yes, you wanted to talk about this relationship. But there was no telling how he would react, although you could take a wild guess. Angrily and it was that anger that would cause this relationship to end or continue. Everything aside, as a hero, you needed to tackle your fears head-on.

"You said I could talk about this relationship, right?" you asked, knowing full well the answer. Katsuki growled yet again, opening his mouth to speak but you held your hand up to silence him. "Would it be wrong if feelings got involved?" you might as well soften the blow.

He blinked, knitting his eyebrows together. "Huh? What the hell do you mean?" he asked, clearly confused. You sighed, should you just come out with it? You continued digging your fingers into his shoulders and your stomach twisted with butterflies.

"We agreed to this relationship because you didn't want your hero status to be ruined with romance, right?" you asked, locking eyes with him. He said nothing, but you noted the scowl he was wearing and the way his eyebrows were lowered.

"Yeah, so what if I said that? You gonna throw those damn words in my face now?" he hissed after a few seconds. "I'm not trying to throw anything in your face," you said, pinching the bridge of your nose and sighing loudly.

Katsuki frowned. He knew where this was going, but goddamn he didn't want to hear it. The whole reason he had tried so hard to convince you to be in this "fake" relationship was because he had feelings for you.

Hell if he knew when they started, one day he just saw you as someone...well cool and someone who had what it took to keep up with him. He found himself wanting you and growing aggressive whenever others got close to you.

He wanted you to himself. Yeah, maybe it was deceiving to convince the one you loved to agree to something like this and to use your damn hero career as the excuse behind it. But...maybe he was just afraid of getting his heart broken.

Yeah, even heroes had fears. Get over it. He didn't believe for one instance that you would feel the same way he did. Even now, he could feel his stomach twisting into knots and those damn butterflies were making it hard for him to continue putting up a confident front.

'Damn it!' he growled, knowing there was no use in delaying any further. "Then what are you saying? You got feelings for me!?" he snapped, leaning closer and wrapping his arms around you to ensure you couldn't escape or climb off his lap.

Your eyes widened and your heart accelerated and yet felt heavy. Your cheeks were rosy red, and your mind was blank. What the hell were you supposed to say? You tried taking a deep breath but ended up choking.

"Heh," he grinned and reached up, slipping his fingers through the back of your hair. "Well, guess you're in fucking luck then," he replied, leaning closer. "Huh? What do you mean?" you asked, making his happy face drop.

"What do you mean what do I mean!?" he snapped, and those fingers in your hair grew tighter forcing your head back. "I like you too dumbass!" he snapped before turning away and releasing his grip. "I..." he sighed, taking a deep breath.

"I've liked you for a while now, got that!?" he hissed, feeling embarrassed for having admitted such a stupid thing. Jeez, why were feelings so complicated? You blinked, your lips hanging open in shock. He smirked, finding amusement in your expression.

"Didn't think I knew you liked me too, huh?" he crossed his arms. Okay, so maybe he didn't really know until a few moments ago. But when he thought about it your actions gave you away. He noticed how flushed you'd get after he kissed you, and how you'd stare at him in awe when you thought he wasn't looking.

It's almost too bad he didn't get the opportunity to tease you back then, but he sure as hell could now. He continued to smirk and once again grabbed the back of your head. "But I'm not sure if your feelings are true. Why not prove your-damn-self to me?" he demanded.

"Hm!?" you tried to lean back, but his hand kept your head in place. "I..." you glanced away, feeling your cheeks continue to grow hot. Katsuki frowned and shoved your head forward, causing you to yelp. He pressed his forehead against yours, and with a vicious growl said, "Just kiss me already, idiot!"

You would have complied if not for the fact that he initiated the request and roughly pressed his lips against yours. He was always a little dominant and made you feel weak. "Mm..." your eyelids lowered, and your hands slid down to his chest.

You leaned back, turning your head to the side to break the kiss. Katsuki didn't seem so happy about that and tried to force your head forward again, but you kept your hands firmly pressed against him. "W-wait a minute!" you pleaded, making him sigh.

"What!?" he responded, clearly eager for more intimacy. "So...does this mean that you...want to start dating?" you asked sheepishly, trying to ignore how he rolled his eyes. "Yeah yeah," he replied nonchalantly, releasing his hold on your hair before leaning back.

"But you better be ready to handle what comes our way," he warned, and you chuckled in response. "I think I've been handling it just fine," Katsuki glanced at his desk. "Oh yeah?" he asked, reaching for his phone. "Then how about we make it official?" his tone was coated with amusement.

You looked at his phone and then back at him. "Wait...you don't mean-" he grabbed the back of your head, pulling you close. "I want to share this moment with the world, heh let's make some fuckers jealous," he said, refusing to give you time to respond before he once again slammed his lips against yours.

Most heroes had social media accounts, and Katsuki rarely used his. But he knew that if he posted a picture of him kissing his partner, it would give him more attention than those other sorry heroes and the chance to brag that he had the type of relationship most of them could only dream of.

[kiragecko]

This is a post about why I'm currently considering myself to be nonbinary, but it's not a post about gender.

-

It’s about 90% of the elementary school girls wanting to sit on the grass and talk about boys, and me still not understanding why even now, in my mid 30s.

It’s about ‘girls books’ that were all about friendship drama and worrying about menstruating, and how these were framed as universal concerns. My only friends were a pair of male cousins and we mostly cared about how our Lego ninjas’ castle infiltration was going. (The options were limited in my small library in the mid-90s.)

It’s about the ‘wild’, ‘disobedient’, and 'hyper' kids in the books I grew up with being so much better behaved than me, even on my best day, that I’d puzzle over it for weeks. Maybe if my parents were stricter I would be able to follow instructions easier? Maybe I was one of the mean kids in those books? Why was nobody in books like me?

It’s about the revulsion I feel when I think about ‘romantic’ gestures. Remembering my mom getting flowers from someone at church, and my aunt getting upset when I laughed about how she wouldn’t like them. MY MOM IS ALLERGIC TO FLOWERS, but a person who had nothing to do with the situation got offended that I didn’t consider them a thoughtful and nice gift. It makes me feel nauseous thinking about how I’m ‘supposed’ to think things that I don’t want and can’t use are loving gifts, just because society decided they were.

It's about people wanting me to already know their social conventions, and feeling like they are doing SO MUCH WORK when they make allowances for my mistakes, but thinking that learning anything about how I like to communicate is asking far too much of them.

It's about trying to make friends as a teen, and all the guys getting upset or weird when it became clear that wasn't code for dating.

It's about makeup giving me rashes, and my hair being done up giving me headaches.

It’s about women in lingerie in ads, and how I wore a headscarf for a year in reaction to how that made me feel.

It's about learning biblical gender roles, and getting really excited about the idea of protection and love in return for submission. And then finding out I like the BDSM understanding of protection and submission a lot more than I like the church's. That the person I love doesn't have the skill to protect me in ways that make submission safe.

It’s about having noise and light sensitivities, but being expected to enjoy crowded weddings.

It’s about people acting disgusted when I get too loud. Or excited. Or happy. Or interested.

It's about 'body language experts' that ""explain"" what various gestures mean, and it's about that month when my husband believed them and told me I was wrong about what I felt.

It's about definitions of 'womanhood' and 'humanity' that contain things that exclude me. And learning how to be okay with being the exception this time. And eventually getting so used to being the exception that I can no longer connect to the concept at all.

It's about only reading fantasy, now, because an elf's experience isn't supposed to be relatable.

It’s about learning that ‘I actually wanted’ things I didn’t want, and I was ‘unreasonable’ when I said no, and I was being ‘too sensitive’ when things physically or emotionally hurt.

It’s about being ADHD and aroace and weird in far too many ways; in a culture that seems to consider that to be willful rebellion and disrespect.

-

I don’t know how to be a woman. I don’t know how to feel good about being a woman. I don't feel I can fulfill the roles and dynamics associated with femininity. I can't present myself in the expected ways, and I don't really want to. In isolation, 'woman' feels like an accurate description. But than I think of OTHER people considering me a woman, and having the right to define what that means, and I just can't.

I need a break from considering myself female, so I can figure out how to do it in a way that doesn’t break me.

I want to learn how to interact with other people in a way that are less exhausting and painful. Engage on my own terms, and disengage if those terms aren’t fulfilled. Protect my own boundaries with strangers and acquaintances - people I don’t expect to make allowances for me. Not by demanding things of them, but by only offering myself on certain terms.

I don't want to ask anything about anyone else. I'm tired of it being about them. I want to ask things of myself. Ask for respect, and care. Figure out what that would actually look like. I want to process and let go of my self-hatred and feelings of being 'designed wrong'.

I've heard the terms 'acegender' and 'neurogender'. They don't excite me, but I recognize that's part of what's going on. Having ADHD gets in the way of performing womanhood to the point that it becomes hard to separate them. And some much of femaleness is defined in relation to being a part of a heterosexual romantic couple. I've got the man, but that hasn't helped me decode the mysteries of romantic and sexual attraction. The baffling concept of men having some sort of allure that women lack, of being a different category.

But, like my marriage isn't about my lack of attraction (it's about the choice I made to love him, and the decade plus of commitment we've had to each other), being nonbinary isn't about my lack of understanding of and ability to perform womanhood. It's about choosing to love myself, and recognizing that I've internalized enough harmful beliefs that I can't healthily identify as female right now.

It's not about gender.