#also unrelated thing but its rather personal to me
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dusty-pistol · 2 days ago
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Guh, I can't believe I have to do this, but here's the doc about angelfangz. But if you don't wanna see all the disgustin things they've done and the fucked up way they said it, I'll give a list of what they said and did directly. With more added information that this doc doesn't show.
[UPDATE 1, JAN 5TH, 2025, 12:28 PM]: More Information.
[UPDATE 2, JAN 5TH, 2025, 1:14 PM]: More Information.
Cw: Mentions of rape, incest, self-harm, just a lot of proshipper bullshit under the cut. There is now more photo evidence and proof that a few anonymous people have given me. Be warned clickin this may subject you to suggestive/NSFW imagery that has been censored for your safety. Please continue with caution.
>>: Said that Dave gets off to Jack raping his brother Peter.
>>: Said that Jack and Peter should fuck. Calls it "consensual incest."
>>: Said Harry should rape Jack. Said that "Jack likes it due to being desensitized from being raped by Dave."
>>: Said Harry gets off to the thought of bein raped and self-harms for pleasure.
>>: Said Henry raped Dave.
>>: Said that once Jack was done raping Peter, he'd kill him and share his corpse with Dave to eat and fuck.
>>: Said their sona is a shotacon as it is/was 17 in a relationship with a 75 year old.
>>: Romanticized 16 year old Peter being sexual with 10 year old Jack.
>>: Drew Jack raping Peter.
>>: Said they love bein a proshipper.
>>: Said that they themselves wanted to be raped and cannibalized and that they "might be necrophilic."
>>: Sent NSFW content to a minor / minors.
>>: Roleplayed suggestive / NSFW content with a minor / minors. Not to mention, they were makin a father-son kind of relationship have strange romantic/sexual undertones. Such as askin a roleplayer to make an (adult) character seem more childish for what I can only assume as fetishization reasons.
>>: Sexualized / romanticized rape, incest, self-harm, etc.
>>: Said their server is "13+" even though 13 year olds should not be able to be exposed to NSFW content.
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>>: Here's a few photos showin proof that they've sent NSFW to minors.
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>>: Wrote a rape fanfiction of Harry and shared it with minors.
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I don't care if they were a minor too when they did and said most this. That is not an excuse.
I made the dumb mistake of thinkin they could change. Proshippers don't change. Even some of the rp blogs they were interactin with said that they were uncomfortable role-playin with them. They've also shown to take perfectly innocent rps into a sexual turn, and one of the rp blogs they did this with a lot was a Harry blog, which is run by a minor. They did this while they were an adult , mind you.
I'm disgusted, and I can't believe I gaslit myself into thinkin they could change. I tried bein nice because I was scared for my own safety since I am a minor, and I didn't know if they'd try to confide in me their fucked up thoughts like they did to the person shown in the doc.
I take responsibility for interactin with them, of course. That was my mistake. But like I said, I was scared. They're unstable, unmedicated, and there is direct photo evidence of proof that they've done these things. And hints that they're not done yet. I wanted to believe they'd change, but the more I hear about them, the more I realize what an idiot I've been. I turned a blind eye to the initial accusations made about them, and that was a detrimental mistake that I apologize for.
I also apologize if it seemed like I "led them on" at any point. I was just tryna be nice to them, and to be honest, I don't even understand what that's supposed to mean. Led them on in a romantic sense? I have it clear in my intro post that I'm not interested in havin any sort of relationships with anyone. I don't know what else "leadin them on" could mean.
I don't wanna turn this into some sorta drama as I'm too tired and busy to deal with that. But I wanna put this out here before they try to start anythin just in case they're upset that I "betrayed" them. Not only that, but because they've surrounded themself with minors, I wanna put this out here for anyone who they might be friends with as a warnin. Don't get your hopes up like I did. They're dangerous to your safety.
Do not harass anyone who might be involved in this. Just block and move on. Hell, if you're still defendin angelfangz after all of this, then I'd like you to block me too as I don't feel safe or comfortable around you. You're now aware of what they've done, you know that they're dangerous, and you should stay safe. This is a predator regardless of their age. They were a predator the moment they engaged with minors in this subject matter in the first place. Even if they were a minor themselves at the time. Their age should not be an excuse.
Thank you kindly for readin, and have the day you deserve.
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opens-up-4-nobody · 3 months ago
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You know that feeling where you have ideas. So many ideas. Too many ideas. And they all would take way too much time that you don't have if you actually wanted to execute them. So you just sit there giving yourself a headache because you cant decide where to start? Love that feeling. And by love, I mean I want to take my brain out of my skull and wring it like a wet sponge.
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some-mari-thoughts · 11 months ago
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What do you make of the idea of Blackspace kinda fusing with Hellmari after a post-good ending Omori gave her true life, therefore making her the entire realm by technicality? Omori would do that cuz he needs something to kinda fill the void that appeared when Sunny left and he's getting desperate after not finding anything in Headspace to do that...
(woooooooooo explaining my omori au lore-)
Truthfully this is so wildly different to my idea of headspace and omori and after-good ending that i cannot make anything of this! i think that's up to u to decide
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#they kinda have to coexist anyway in my head#yes they had a big ass fight abt things and sunny's headspace is kinda all crumpled once again and white space is emptier than ever#omori's still the inner 12 y o kid who is also the anxiety and escapism and so many things and he isn't going anywhere immediately#so they do have to work together and fill it w new things. make smth of it and make it comfortable again in a better way#idk we're not letting the nightmares fester#your story is yours though its just so different from mine that it feels like a string of words that i can't tie togetjher#in a way that makes sense at least#so here you know your story best#also pleas#if u wanna put smth that u made and make me see it please let it be related to me and my blog in my inbox#i WILL spit my hcs and story at u if u put unrelated things here#i don't have the responsibility to react to Your omori content that i did not sign up or ask to see!#that's almost your own post material. let me come across it in the tag when i want to see it#and if i don't it was not meant to be#its an honor to receive your omori art of mari btw if u do put it here. just make sure it's not a constant and rather an occasion#cannot publish your omocontent for you#sorry for the tag rant its offtopic from the post#i do get severe urge to ignore/delete asks that seem wholly unrelated to my blog or a fully cooked personal omori post#and not an ask to tumblr user some mari thoughts who makes art and posts hcs and shares some art sometimes#OMORI Sunny#OMORI character#Knife boi#Son boi#my doodles
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aeide-thea · 1 year ago
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have been reading fic & thinking abt my relationship to fic, which is of course also among other things a mirror of my relationship to my own psyche, and like—i think all the discourse abt its being ~internalized misogyny~ to mostly/entirely read m/m is not ultimately, whatever the truth of it, all that helpful, either to readers or to Women! but of course that doesn't stop me from feeling weird guilt abt the fact that i don't read more f/f than i do, because if there's anything i love to do, it's feel unhelpfully bad abt myself on the slimmest of pretexts…
however! i did end up reading some f/f earlier, specifically transfem f/f, and it got me thinking—basically what i'm usually mostly reading fic for is the romance/sex, right? like, don't get me wrong, i love when a fic gives me a gorgeous double helix of, like, casefic and romance twisted together, that's ideal, but fundamentally most of the time the feeling up is what i sat down at the table to eat. so in a complex aegosexual way it's a fantasy i'm—not projecting onto, exactly, i don't want to be one of the people in it; but, like, lurking in the wings of with eyes big love-crumbs, to steal a phrase from a relevantly-named poet. :) and so it's no wonder that mostly i don't want to read cisfemme4cisfemme stuff, because that's not a dynamic that feels like it has any room for me, or even like i'm particularly welcome in the room. but like. if it's trans women? i'm there, i love that for them and for me. if there's a butch? i might get tripped up by our differing lenses on gender feelings and stub my toe a little but even so i'm probably here for it. (thinking here abt that one butch/femme geraskier ~cisswap which is, like, a gorgeous bruise i keep periodically pressing. <3)
so really it's just like. shocker: i'm not personally moved by fantasies abt romance which feature conventionally feminine cis women whom i don't personally find relatable or sexually desirable! and when i put it like that, it really instantly dissolves the weird useless discourse-induced guiltgunk. like. give me a woman who's, idk, tall and charismatic and strong and clever and talented at something (though honestly it's like that siken revised tweet, a lot of those characteristics are ultimately negotiable!), like women i've historically crushed on irl, and then give me a pairing for her that's like. another woman who's also enough of those things, or a man who's—honestly the kind of m/f i'm open to would be its own whole post bc holy shit am i fussy, it very much does exist but for now let's just stick a pin in that one—or somebody nonbinary, which… idk that i've ever actually seen nb/f in fic? i'm sure it exists! but i'm not sure it exists in any fandoms i've been into. pondering the question did get me really thirsty for a good 'farmgirl (of the luke skywalker variety) is absolutely stunned-and-ringing-like-a-struck-bell captivated by confident flamboyantly genderqueer love interest (example wanted)' dynamic, though…
#(this is entirely unrelated to the actual topic but every time i use a possessive to modify a gerund bc it's a verbal noun it's like#pls hold‚ time 2 decide whether i'd rather do the esoteric thing—'its being'—and have most ppl think i'm getting it wrong#or do the demotic thing—'it being'—and *know* in my own secret heart i'm getting it wrong#and both scenarios feel Bad! so it really is just lose-lose every time it comes up… a sad situation for a gerund lover like yrs truly. 😔)#(also yes what is 'wrong' when it comes 2 language anyway but like. you know what itches your ears and i know what itches mine.#…& obvs what itches mine somehow does NOT include (mis)using 'itch' as a transitive verb for comedically colloquial effect. shrug emoji!!)#anyway none of this is remotely groundbreaking or even unusual but. soothing 2 me to lay it out like this.#fannish things#i guess also#aut fieri uolo aut futuere#and no‚ the world definitely did not need >500 words retreading the same ground many other ppl have already trodden#however. what is a blog for if not to house long-winded unnecessary posts no one but the author (if that) really needed.#in conclusion anything i say abt My Relationship 2 Fic is really always a diptych with that anecdote abt the woman who called up queer bars#just to know there was a space out there where freedom and joy existed‚ and brush the edge of it‚ just a little#like am i personally embodying/visible as much of what i'm deeply emotionally bound up with? no.#is it nonetheless/therefore hugely important to me to see those possibilities stretched out before me like a far green field? sure is!!
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cestacruz · 10 months ago
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Mmm Jeanne
#servants cant learn new stuff (i'll talk about jalter in a second) therefore#jeanne shouldnt know how to read or write#we actually Dont get a confirmation that she can do those things in summer 3. because the book that jalter thought jeanne wrote#was actually Her own book#jeanne works with marie. maybe she comes up with the ideas and does rough drawings that marie would be Delighted to bring to life#marie reads to jeanne is my image#jalter taught herself how to read and write and i think that was possible because of the unstability of her existence#if you try to teach jeanne how to read and write it will stick for a second but if like idk 15-20 min pass she would likely find herself#unable to read again and her writting to be suboptimal#she can sign her own name ofc thats historical#she can recite the bible from memory iirc#i love jalter's ability to be her own person even if it comes with the fact that she is very much. an ephemeral dream#like her FCKING SKILL IS CALLED.#WHY MUST YOU HURT ME LIKE THIS FGO#anyway. now jeanne again but physical#oughhh thank u for the support in the tags when i said jeanne should have self image issues because she looked different in life#i hadnt fully talked bout it i just went with hair but yeah. i need to check again because im pretty sure her body wasnt Suuuper different#but i just gotta confirm#but im just so i love the idea of her just not liking the way she manifested abd not knowing Why she manifested like that#when there are Countless depictions of her with her short brown hair#sieg looks to the side whistling (its not his fault but he knows the pseudo servant part#and its probably a mix of . fate apocrypha's manifestation and of how some people imagined jeanne looked like#but it still upsets her#not that she'd ever complain to people#you can probably get it out of her tho#unrelated and only to those who reached this far: im thinking of a singularity set in 15th century orleans in the Middle of the hundred year#war. but the difference aint “oh jeanne d'arc came back to life evil” rather than “there seems to be a battle here where it shouldnt and oh#my god is that jeanne- oh god jeanne d'arc fucking died--#and chaldeas has to try and fix the war without living breathing jeanne d'arc#actually thats not the middle of the 100yearwar but yknow what i mean. also haha jk unless...
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shame-kink · 2 years ago
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considering unfollowing/blocking a bunch of people i like just bc my stress levels at slight disagreements (or ‘disagreeing more strongly on discourse opinions that i don’t even really think i’m in the RIGHT for’) have gotten unbearable. already let someone go. wish i could leave a goodbye letter stating my reasoning but that’d be fucking wierd
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ravens-two · 6 months ago
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PAC: How will the aftercare be like 18+
This reading includes:
how the aftercare will be like
The extended reading includes:
what you'll think/feel after sex
what your person will think/feel after sex
Disclaimer: this is just for entertainment purposes, and as a pick-a-card reading it may not resonate for everyone. Also, this content is 18+ only!
TIPS | BOOK A READING WITH ME | PATREON | LINKTREE | SUGGEST A PAC TOPIC
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Pile 1
Seven of Pentacles, Page of Swords - White Light
Hi pile 1, the first thing I'm getting is that you're probably going to feel very tired after sex. Perhaps one of you falls asleep quickly. I'm even seeing that for some of you, you might take a nap and then cuddle and talk after that.
This pile seems to feel really connected to their partner after sex. It's like you two are on the same wavelength and can understand each other perfectly during this moment. I think that despite this tiredness that came up, you two are going to talk a lot after sex. There will be a lot of pillow talk. I just got the words "performance review" lmao, so you two might talk about what you enjoyed or didn't enjoy. Maybe even what you'd want to try next.
In general though, this is such a sweet pile. I see a lot of cuddling, holding each other, soft kisses and caressing each other. There's a funny energy here because it seems that one of you is very practical and pragmatic, like wanting to clean up and sleep because you need to wake up early the next day, while the other is romantic and dreamy and just wants to hold on to their partner for a little longer.
Check out the extended reading on patreon
Pile 2
Ten of Pentacles, Three of Swords - Phoenix
Pile 2, with the Phoenix card here sex with this person is a very intense experience for you, almost transformative. It's almost as if you feel like you get broken down and then put back together again, stronger. For some of you this could even be related to BDSM or a rougher type of sex that needs some more attentive aftercare. I get that there may be physical pain here that somehow helps with any emotional pain that you may be going through.
Your person will take very good care of you. They will be so gentle and loving with helping you to clean up and make sure that you're not hurt. I see them talking a lot to you, making sure to get verbal confirmation that you're alright. They're also very loving with their words, telling you how much they enjoyed it, how well you did, etc.
During sex your partner might have been a bit "mean" to you, so it's important for them to reestablish a loving connection with you again. They will want to hold you in their arms and make sure that you feel safe and loved. In general, this pile is very, very intense and you might be crying after sex.
Check out the extended reading on patreon
Pile 3
King of Swords, Four of Pentacles - Shoots
Pile 3, the energy here is slightly colder in comparison to the other piles. Your partner seems to be a bit more distant or not so emotional as they usually are after sex. They seem like the kind of person who withdraws a little bit to process their emotions and feelings. Still, your partner has a big caregiving energy. Not to be weird but this is daddy energy, to be honest.
Your partner seems like the kind of person that is more worried about your physical needs, rather than emotional. I see them bringing you food and water, helping you to clean up. With the King of Swords here too there's this energy that your partner is trying their best to be fair and make sure that you're feeling good, but most importantly that they made you feel good. They seem like the type of person who wants reassurance about their performance.
Something just a little unrelated but this pile seems very fertile, if you or your partner can get pregnant please be careful with that. This emotional distance might also be because this relationship is still in its early stages and your connection is still growing. I can see that it grows stronger every time.
Check out the extended reading on patreon
Pile 4
Six of Swords, Three of Wands - Time
Hey pile 4, your partner seems like someone who isn't used to aftercare or someone who tends to "run away" after sex. They might have a bit of trouble in being vulnerable at first, it takes them time to open up and adapt to your needs. For some of you though, it's your person that needs more aftercare than you or it may be you who does more aftercare naturally. I have a sense that, in general, your partner is exhausted, maybe emotionally, after sex.
For others, your partner leaves you absolutely exhausted. Sex is probably very long-winded and your partner always wants to go again and again. They only stop when you physically can't keep up. Because of this they may end up giving you massages or massaging certain parts of your body that are sore. I'm seeing mostly hips and back.
Your partner also seems like they're the type of person who wants to bask in the afterglow. You know in the movies with the guys kicking back with a cigarette? That sort of vibe. Well, they may actually want to smoke afterwards. No matter what, your person doesn't want loose that feeling of calm and relaxation. They won't want to talk about anything too deep or potentially upsetting.
Check out the extended reading on patreon
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hetalian-veteran · 4 months ago
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The Draw of the Hetalia Fandom (and Why You Can Never Leave)
From the perspective of a fan of (technically) twelve years or so.
Something occurred to me a while back, and I wanted to share it to get other people's thoughts. I'll try to add funny pictures and gifs to break up the wall of text so it won't be as exhausting to read.
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I made a post the other day about how the Hetalia fandom always draws you back in. This was, of course, based on the joke about how you can never really leave the Hetalia fandom. A joke you can find virtually everywhere you look in fan spaces online.
But this begs the question. Why? Why can't you ever truly leave the Hetalia fandom? What is it about this fandom that consistently draws you back in?
And note that people don't talk about Hetalia itself, but rather its fandom. You could stop watching the show or reading the comics for years, but the fandom is what won't fully leave you be.
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(The Hetalia fandom every time you check to see if it's dead yet).
One answer I've heard has to do with the phenomenon known as Associative Memory, where you can learn and remember the relationship between unrelated items.
For example, you watch Hetalia, a series about the countries of the world personified as anime characters. These characters have their own personalities, traits, quirks, etc. And the more you watch the show and get into the fandom, the more you start to associate these things with one another.
For instance, someone can say the word Italy, and I'll start thinking about Feliciano Vargas. Or someone could say the name Matthew Williams, and I automatically associate that with Canada. Or I could see bushy eyebrows and immediately start thinking of APH England. Heck, someone starts talking about Vikings and my thoughts almost always go to the Viking Trio of Denmark, Norway, and Sweden. I could go on, but you get the idea.
And there's also the fact that we live in a world full of the countries that the show has personified characters of, which would in turn likely remind you of Hetalia.
But there's something more here going on. I've thought about it for a long while, and I think I've realized one of the biggest reasons why you can't fully leave the fandom.
It's because of how versatile the characters of the series can be in fan content. Allow me to explain.
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(Me preparing to explain to everyone the epiphany that came to me one dark, stormy night).
Hetalia is a series with literally no plot. Like, zero. Some episodes may impact each other, but the overall series is episodic in nature. The only episodes you'd have to watch in order would be the ones going over the miniature love story between Chibitalia and HRE. And then there's the sequence of episodes going over the Industrial Revolution in season seven, and then the sequence of episodes explaining the relationship between Czechia and Slovakia. But that's it. And the Industrial Revolution and Czechia and Slovakia episodes aired in the latter seasons, long after the fandom was already very big and well established.
The episodes are largely adaptations from the original webcomic and thus are all a bunch of skits haphazardly thrown together. So I'll reiterate what I said earlier; there is no real, canonical plot to Hetalia. There are canon events and facts about canon characters, but seeing as the show is largely skits, they aren't tied down to any real narrative.
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(The Hetalia fandom whenever they're given a piece of canon they don't like).
This leaves a lot of room for headcanons. Which leads to fans sharing their headcanons online. And when headcanons get super popular, they become fanon. And when a piece of fanon gets super popular, where it finds itself getting mingled with fanart, fanfiction, and even fan theories, you'll have people who start to confuse it with actual canon. There's really a lot to be said for the wild fanon of Hetalia, but I'll get to that another day. I need to turn the focus back onto the characters themselves.
I'm just gonna put it out there. The Hetalia characters are largely one-note. This isn't to say there isn't some depth to a few of the characters, but these characters are largely the epitome of "what you see is what you get." Especially in the early days of the series. The characters all have a set of straightforward, basic character traits, with their interpersonal relationships often being displayed in a very simplistic manner.
For example, Italy is a pasta-loving coward who's a massive flirt. Germany is strict and authoritative with a no-nonsense attitude. Japan is quiet and soft-spoken, only speaking up when he feels the need. America is a bombastic dork with a hero complex. England is an arrogant stick in the mud. France is a hopeless romantic who flirts with anything that has a pulse.
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(Me taking a moment to pause and push away the cringy middle school memories of me shamelessly fangirling in class).
And as I said, their relationships are typically portrayed as simplistic as well. Italy annoys Germany, but Germany doesn't want to get rid of him because he's one of his only friends. England and France hate each other. America is that hyper-extroverted friend trying to get his introverted friend, Japan, out of his shell. Switzerland and Lichtenstein have a sweet sibling dynamic. And Prussia and Austria are portrayed as old friends who like to antagonize one another.
Because of the way the characters and their interpersonal relationships are written, this also lends them open to a lot of headcanons and eventual fanon. Not to mention that most of the characters have canon, human names. So if you want to use these characters in a fanfiction, particularly one where you don't want to depict them as countries (which is most fanfics), you have names at the ready that you can use.
And because of the simple way the characters are written, you can potentially write or portray these characters however you want in fanwork without too many people complaining that someone "isn't in character." There is so much room for your own interpretations of the characters. As long as you keep some of their basic personality traits from the series intact, you can portray the characters however you want. Especially because there's no real canonical storyline to drag them down. Because of the lack of canon storyline, you don't have to worry about fanworks being canon-compliant, canon-divergent, or canon-adjacent.
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(Fanfic writers when they realize canon cannot stop them from creating whatever they want).
Do you want to portray Romano as the notorious mafia boss, Lovino Vargas, in the 1930s? Go ahead. As long as you can keep some of his cowardly and stubborn nature intact, you can do what you want with little trouble.
Do you want to portray England as the infamous pirate, Arthur Kirkland, in the 17th century? As long as you maintain his disdain for France, have at it!
Do you want to write a college AU with all of the characters present? As long as you keep in mind their personalities and have a basic understanding of their interpersonal relationships, have fun!
Now you're probably sitting there thinking, "Big deal, people can create all kinds of fanwork, regardless of what its content is, or what property it's for. What makes the Hetalia fandom so special?"
It's special because, since Hetalia is a series with almost zero canonical storylines, and the characters are portrayed in such a simplistic way, both of which lend their way to boatloads of headcanons and fanon, as well as small scraps of canon information that we can choose to either ignore or elaborate like crazy on...
Hetalia is a freaking goldmine for creating all kinds of fan content.
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(Hetalians when creating the 2p! variations of the characters, probably).
So much fan content is out there. From creepypastas, to Hetaoni, Dreamtalia, the 2p! characters, historically accurate AU's, school AU's, and so, so much more. All because the canon is just loose enough to allow all kinds of fan content to be created and not seem too far off from the series or characters.
And that fan content ends up being way, way more fun than the actual series itself! Don't get me wrong, I still love the show, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't (or currently don't) have a freaking blast every time I engage with fan content. The creativity is insane, and the fanon is even more fun and entertaining.
The reason you cannot fully leave the Hetalia fandom isn't just because of Associative Memory, but because of the immense amount of fan content and fanon where, because of the nature of the series, you can do, write, draw, and create whatever you want. You can project onto these characters and their stories and interpret them to your own personal tastes. And you know what? That's a heck of a lot of fun.
And there you go, that's my two cents.
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creative-clawmarks · 5 months ago
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Longass Vampire AU Loredump
I feel I should preface this with the most important fact of this AU: supernatural beings are not actually a part of this world.
What I mean by this is there is no secret society of vampires, there is no chapter in the medical books on lycanthropy, and ghost hunters still have not found conclusive evidence. As far as you or I or anyone else knows the cast of MH are the only things like them in existence.
Because the Operator did this to them.
It's a parasite, and its strategy is to make people into predators then mop up the trail of bodies they leave behind.
As for why their monstrosity takes the specific forms it does? The Watsonian Explanation is that we will never really know, such things are beyond people's understanding. The Doyalist Explanation is that I have taken the character's metaphorical roles and made them literal to give myself an excuse to draw sharp teeth.
With that out of the way, here's what these freaks are actually capable of:
Alex (Vampire):
Standard package of fast healing, unnatural speed, and unbeating heart. Probably immortal but I guess now we'll never know.
Drinks blood, of course. But I like my vamps fucked up so there's a good dose of gory cannibalism for flavor.
He won't combust in the sun or anything, but his skin is especially sensitive to heat and his eyes are especially sensitive to light.
Heightened hearing, he could hunt someone down with his eyes closed just by tracking their heartbeat.
Venomous, specifically paralytic toxins. Once he's bitten you there's no running away, you're basically screwed.
Fangs and claws are retractable. I also gave him a forked tongue because he's like a terrarium snake to me :)
"Once more I have seen the director go out in his lizard fashion."
He can purr. Because I know what the people want.
Tim (Werewolf):
Standard package of fast healing, unnatural strength, and canine features. Would rather not think about whether or not he's immortal.
Does not hunger for human flesh. If given the opportunity he might maul a deer tho.
Burned by the touch of silver. He also personally thinks wolfsbane is gross but that's unrelated.
When in human form he's mostly that, human. Sure his senses are sharper and he can grow out his teeth and claws a little bit but otherwise he's normal.
When in wolf form, on the other hand, he is DANGEROUS. I'm talking bite through steel tear you in half only thing that can stop him is a silver bullet dangerous.
The wolf form is analogous to Masky in this AU, as in he turns against his will whenever he's threatened or misses a dose and he won't remember much whenever he eventually turns back.
The only time he can change under his own power with his mind intact is during the full moon. He looks forward to it every month because without the threat of loosing control being a wolf is rad actually.
If you scratch him under the chin he goes boneless. Doesn't matter what form he's in.
Brian (Ghost):
Standard package of walk through walls, disappear, and fly. I don't think the term immortal applies to this situation tho...
You know the excuse that ghost don't just physically manifest cuz they don't have enough energy for it? Yeah he's so incandescently pissed that he's tangible more often than not.
Its actually kind of the opposite conundrum where he has to focus and calm down to actually use his ghostly abilities.
Salt circles will totally work on him, but good luck catching him first lol.
Even if you can't see him you can still sort of feel his presence, the room will get colder and the shadows will get deeper.
If you catch him on a bad day he can pull some Poltergeist TM level shenanigans.
Can't really communicate like he used to, his mind is too broken and detached from what it once was. That's why all the ToTheArk videos look like that.
If you were to put a spirit box in the room with him all you would hear coming out of it is his death screams on loop.
Jay (Mortal):
He's just a guy lol, poor bastard doesn't stand a chance.
Why yes, he has read Twilight. Why do you ask?
149 notes · View notes
magicalbats · 3 months ago
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Kinktober 2024 Day 21: Wriothesley x Reader
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Rating: R-18+
Word Count: 5459
Warnings: Afab!reader, prison, handcuffs, solitary confinement, abuse of power, desperation play, noncon, vaginal fingering, watersports, piss
A/N: Once again cutting it close but I made it!
Evidently kicking one of his guards in the face was enough to warrant a personal visit from the Duke of Meropide himself. Go figure. 
Cautiously straightening up from the grumpy slouch you’d fallen into against your cot, you look over to the narrow doorway at his sudden and unexpected entrance. You can’t help noticing that he appears to take up most of the doorframe with his tall, stocky build, the solitary confinement cell they’d shove you into so small that he seems to fill the already cramped space with his presence. And you don’t exactly like the way he shuts the door behind himself either. 
You’d only been a prisoner in the Fortress long enough to know its head warden was a rather elusive fellow who didn’t often make public appearances aside from the brief glimpses one could catch of him walking down the steel lined and reinforced corridors. Being on the receiving end of a one-on-one talk with him so early on in your sentence did not seem to bode well for the rest of your stay in this deep sea prison. 
“… what are you doing here?” You hedge, warily watching him lean back against the opposite wall directly across from you with his arms folded over his broad barrel chest. This was your first time seeing him up close like this, and you were admittedly rather impressed with how very large he was. 
Or maybe intimidated was the better word. 
Sighing faintly through his nose, Wriothesley settles into place and pins you with a level stare that doesn’t tell you much about his reason for being here, but it does seem to solidify that your initial thoughts on the matter were correct. This couldn’t be anything good. 
“You should be glad it’s only me.” He drawls in a surprisingly light, affable tone for what he was saying. “A few of the other guards wanted to handle our newest troublemaker themselves, but I know how they do things and I told them I’d take care of it. You’re a lucky little inmate if I do say so myself.”
You restlessly shift on top of your cot, shooting him a suspicious look. “Why would you do that?” 
He gives those broad shoulders of his a rather disinterested shrug. “You’re a woman. Simple as that. I generally try to be a bit more lenient with the fairer sex when I can, even when they foolishly decide to kick one of my guards in the face.”
You self consciously draw your bare feet in at that, tucking them under yourself where he wouldn’t be able to easily see how naked and bare they were after the penitentiary officers relieved you of your standard issue shoes for the transgression. As far as you saw it, your penance had already been paid. Both in the form of how very chilled your toes were and also the last few hours you’d spent in here with absolutely nothing to do. 
But the way he looks over at you with a vague air of stern authority reflecting in his chilly blue gaze seemed to suggest he was not in agreement with that estimation. 
“That doesn’t sound very on the up and up to me,” You murmur, listlessly flexing your wrists where they were restrained behind your back to test the give of the cuffs around them. Nope. Still just as unrelenting as the last time you’d checked. “Does the surface world know about this? Something tells me The Steambird would love nothing more than to run a scathing exposé about the questionable practices of not only the Fortress staff but its own Duke as well.” 
“I’m sure they would too. Luckily though they’re not going to get their hands on this information any time soon to run that article in the paper.” 
“You - -“
“I think that's enough banter for now.” He smoothly cuts across you, his mild tone leaving no room for argument on your part. “Let’s talk about you instead. Wanna’ tell me why you decided to attack one of my guards like that?” 
Primly sniffing, you turn your head to look elsewhere in the room but there’s not much else to focus your attention on other than the stand alone toilet in the corner and the wall. You settle on the wall. “I don’t see why I should explain myself to you.”
“You should do it because I asked. Nicely, I may add. I don’t have to be polite about it, just keep that in mind.” 
You can’t quite stop yourself from prickling slightly at the soft note of warning in his voice. What was with this guy? Either he was on a massive power trip down here where no one of a more civilized nature was there to keep an eye on him or he had an ego the size of Fontaine with the attitude to match. You really didn’t think you liked him very much. 
“Fine. I kicked him because he grabbed me even after I told him not to. I was defending myself. Simple as that.” 
Stirring at the bitter vindication in your voice, Wriothesley slowly unfolds his arms to let them hang loose down at his sides. It’s so slight and subtle, but something about the change in his body language does not make you feel very optimistic about how this was going to play out, and you anxiously shift on your cot again. 
“Interestingly enough, I heard a somewhat different story. You were refusing to cooperate and go where he was telling you to go. He only grabbed you, as you put it, to get your butt in gear. Isn’t that right?” 
“It was unnecessary.” You hiss back, hackles starting to rise. 
“Not in a prison it’s not. You’re expected to follow orders, little miss inmate. Without question. The guards are well within their rights to make you do something even if you don’t want to do it.” 
“Well, he didn’t need to touch me to accomplish that!” 
His brows taking a sedate trip up to his hairline, Wriothesley looks at you like he’s equal parts impressed and puzzled by your growing anger. Could he really not see what the problem was with having an unknown man suddenly putting his hands on you like that? If he'd get close enough you wouldn’t have minded giving him a good kick in the face too, and you think he must see that in your expression because he lets out a quick laugh.   
“Goodness, you’ve certainly got a short temper. I’m starting to see now how the situation escalated like it did. Maybe I should give you a bit more time to cool off and we’ll see if you’re feeling less mouthy when I come back.” 
You’re so shocked by the abrupt shift in the conversation that you just numbly watch him push off from the wall and make the short pivot towards the doorway, reaching out for the handle. It’s only when he’s got it halfway open and you realize he’s actually serious about leaving you in here even longer do you lurch forward with a jerk. 
“Wait!”
Wriothesley pauses and glances back at you. He doesn’t say anything though so you quickly rouse yourself, cobbling together a haphazard entreaty on the fly. 
“Please don’t go. I don’t like it in here. I’ll cooperate, I promise. Please?” 
“Perhaps you should have thought of that before lashing out like a brat then.” 
“I wasn’t being a brat! I just … I’ve never been in a prison before and I’m so scared. I’m not used to being around this many men. The guards were yelling at me and I panicked. I didn’t know what he was going to do to me. He could have really hurt me or — worse. I swear it was just self defense, I didn’t mean anything by it. Really.” 
Batting your lashes at him, you fix the Duke with your best sad look of helplessness and even conjure a filmy sheen of moisture into your eyes for effect. It was one of the trusty ace’s you kept up your sleeve and one that tended to work on even the most resolute, emotionally unavailable men, but Wriothesley just stares at you with a less than impressed frown tugging at his mouth now. Dammit. 
You hadn’t expected him to be completely immune to your ploys and feminine wiles, and you don’t exactly have a back up plan in mind as he shifts his weight back to thoughtfully settle inside the tiny room again. 
“Hmm. If I remember correctly … you’re the one who’s in for scamming people, aren’t you? Is that poor little put out face how you got all those gentlemen to sign over their life’s fortunes to you?” 
A genuine flush starts to crawl across your cheeks, more than slightly embarrassed at having your innocent act fail so miserably. “That has nothing to do with this. I’m telling you the truth.” 
“I bet.” Scoffing a quiet laugh, he once again brings his arms up to cross them, pinning you with a pointed look. “Cute trick though. I’m sure you’ll be quite disappointed to find it won’t work half as well as it did on the surface down here. Well, maybe with the male inmates it might get you somewhere I suppose. But it’s not going to do you any good with my guards and it’s certainly not going to have any effect on me. Perhaps you could give it a try on one of the female officers next?” 
You shoot him a biting look of warning at that, making Wriothesley chuckle another brief sound of amusement at your expense. 
“Ooh, how scary. It looks like someone is in need of a major attitude adjustment to me. But don’t worry, we’ll take care of that in due time.” Still quietly laughing, he begins to turn back towards the door. “Enjoy the rest of your timeout. I’ll see you again in a few hours.” 
Your eyes immediately pop open, widening to the approximate size of dinner plates, and you lurch forward again when he starts to push into motion. 
“Wait!” 
Pausing once more, Wriothesley turns just enough to peer over his shoulder at you. “What is it now?” 
“You can’t … what do you mean ‘hours’? You can’t leave me in here that long!” 
“Oh? Is that so.” 
You sputter at that, realizing in a distant sort of way that he was actually, really truly serious about this. Not only did he plan to leave you locked inside this solitary confinement cell for who knows how long but he was also perfectly comfortable with the notion. Not even an ounce of guilt or shame! 
“This is — it’s a human rights violation, isn’t it?” You desperately stammer, foolishly thinking you might be able to get through to him if you just reasoned with him enough. “No food, no water. Nothing but a paper thin blanket in here to keep me warm. And I thought you said you like to be more lenient with female inmates. Or was that just a trick to make me trust you?” 
Studying you for a long, drawn out moment, Wriothesley finally breathes out a slow exhale and rocks back to stand inside the small room with you yet again, fully this time so he can swing the door shut with a casual flick of his hand. 
“That only applies to the female inmates who don’t test my patience and make everybody’s job harder than it needs to be. I gave you a chance to get in my good graces and behave but you refused. Tell me why you think that should have earned you any sympathy from me.” 
“It’s not about sympathy, you ass.” You growl at him, furiously working your arms against the unbudging handcuffs behind your back. “It’s about common decency! You can’t treat people like this just because you’re on some tyrannical head trip. But if you’re so dead set on doing this then at least take these damn things off. I can’t even use the toilet like this!” 
“Sure you can. I bet you haven’t even tried yet.” 
“Ugh! You are infuriating! How am I supposed to pull my pants down or wipe like this? And — and I don’t even see any tissue paper in here! What am I supposed to use, my hand?” 
He makes a considering face at that, as if it was a reasonable enough idea and you were simply too unreasonable to see that, which just pisses you off even more. Perhaps you would have been a little less on edge and a little less focused on this particular problem if you didn’t have to pee so bad. You’d already been stuck in here for a tortuously long stretch of hours since the incident first happened, no way could you last a couple more. 
“Please.” You sob, letting some of your desperation bleed into your voice now. “You’ve already taken everything else from me. My freedom, my life, even my shoes! At least let me keep my dignity.” 
“I’m telling you,” He intones, the abrupt drop in his voice down to a strict whip crack startling you somewhat. “You do not need your hands to go. You’re being a bit dramatic about this, don’t you think? Or is it just that you want me to help you with it?” 
Your spine snaps ramrod stiff, a curling tendril of real unease snaking through your cramping gut now. Surely he couldn’t be … “You wouldn’t.” 
“Oh, but I certainly would. It seems to me you’re forgetting a rather important detail, miss. I’m in charge here, not you. I can do whatever I please whenever I so choose. Would you like to try me?” 
You reel back in abject shock, feeling your shoulders quake with the impotent rage coursing through your system. There was even a hint of fear underneath that red hot current too, if you were being honest. It just didn’t make sense to you how he could speak to you like this, treat you like this and threaten you like this, all in good conscience with nary a sign of guilt to show for it. And this was all somehow legally sanctioned by the powers that be? 
Clearly seeing the raging confusion and uncertainty on your face, Wriothesley takes a casual step towards you and you suck in a sharp little gasp. Quickly drawing your legs up onto the cot so you can kick at the thin mattress and scoot as far back from him as you can. There’s nowhere you can feasibly go with your shoulders against the wall though, and you realize just how limited your options really are in such a cramped space with no shortage of sinking dread. 
Undeterred by your frightened reaction, he comes to stand over you in only two short strides, further reiterating how very trapped and cornered you were in here. You try very hard to keep a brave face but you can’t quite manage to conceal it when he was looming there like that. He was just so big and obviously powerful, if the size of his arms was anything to go by, so of course you’d be scared! 
The helplessness of having your arms secured behind your back doesn’t help either, and all you can do is cower when he sedately reaches out a hand towards you. A multitude of possibilities fly through your head all at once, each worse than the last as you imagine what sort of humiliating trial he was going to put you through next. You probably should have just kept your big mouth shut. 
To your shuddering surprise though, he merely wraps his massive hand around the back of your neck in an unexpectedly gentle yet firm grip, nudging you from the wall just enough to fit his knuckles between. Wildly trembling there on the cot, you hesitantly tip your eyes up to look at him. You didn’t understand what he was doing. This was not what you’d imagined when he’d said he would help you, thinking he was going to drag you over to the toilet and take your pants down himself, or perhaps even make you urinate on the floor like an animal. That is not what seems to be happening though, and you have no idea what to make of it when he lifts his other hand to reach for your lap, tracking the motion with a great deal of fast mounting horror. 
He doesn’t even give you a word of warning before he does it, just unceremoniously shoving his broad palm between your legs to cup you through your pants, and you jolt so hard you nearly come right up off the cot. He keeps you in place with his hold on your neck though, leaving you with such a limited range of movement that all you can do is squirm in place, hissing at him like an incensed cat. 
“Wh - what are you doing? You can’t … you can’t touch me like this, you bastard!” 
“Well, that’s quite a mouth you’ve got, isn’t it? Perhaps you need to have it washed out with soap when I come back.” 
Whimpering softly when that casually delivered threat hits its mark, you uselessly kick your legs up in an attempt to fight him off but of course it doesn’t work. Even when you press your bare foot into the bend of his elbow and push he doesn’t even budge. The Duke just keeps holding your cunt in the palm of his hand like it was meant to fit there and you frantically clench the muscles in your lower body, the warmth of his hand suddenly making it feel like you need to go even more than before. This could not be happening. 
“Leave me alone!” You warble, starting to pant from the effort of trying to wriggle free while holding back the urge to empty your bladder at the same time. “This is — a gross abuse of power, do you hear me? You’re sick! W - what do you think you’re doing to me!”  
“I think I’m teaching you a lesson that you should have learned a long time ago.” He tells you, perfectly calm and collected despite all your restless fidgeting. “Given your attitude and the long list of crimes you committed, I’d wager you think yourself pretty much untouchable huh? And it may have even been true at one point but unfortunately for you that’s no longer the case.” 
Pinching your neck just tight enough to make you squeak a hurt little sound, Wriorhesley all but scruffs you like you were nothing more than a misbehaved kitten to make you be still. The sharp pinprick of real tears rushes into your eyes as you roughly seethe, painfully stiff and halting in his hold. Immobilized like this, you can only follow the motion of his other hand when he lifts it from your cunt to demandingly tug the waistband of your pants lower. 
“I’m afraid you’re playing by my rules now. And before you start in on it again, no, I will not be facing any recourse for it regardless of how much you throw a fit over it. This is my fortress, little miss inmate. You’d do well to remember that from now on.”
He reaches into your pants then, slipping rough, callous worn fingers straight down through the top of them, and you plaintively mewl at the gruff way he worms it lower to dip into the space between your legs. Even trying to squeeze your thighs shut isn’t enough to dissuade him and Wriothesley merely bullies them apart, stretching your bottoms out as he angles his hand downward to find your slit. 
The first indelicate swipe of a blunt fingertip over the fleshy crease makes you jolt so hard your head slams back into the wall with a dull thud. He doesn’t seem to care though, slowly working his digit back and forth for a drawn out moment to encourage the fleshy lips to part for him. And gradually, they do. Not of your own volition or even with any conscious thought to the matter, but the insistent nudge against your labia still has its intended effect. 
As soon as he can dip that finger inside you he does, spearing through fleshy creases and folds to locate your clit. He presses down on it firmly enough to make your thighs twitch around his wrist but he doesn’t hurt you, which manages to surprise you slightly. For a man who looked like he’d be more of a meathead than anything else, someone who was much too focused on stroking his own ego to concern himself with the pleasure of a woman, he’s unexpectedly adept at rubbing you just right. Not too soft yet not too hard, all while not missing his intended target completely. It was astounding in a way. 
You hate it though. Even when your body grudgingly responds to his steady ministrations and you feel your pussy start to warm up to the masculine presence between your legs, you still mentally curse him for everything he was worth. The one and only good thing about this is the more he keeps caressing over that responsive pleasure button the less urgent your need to go seems to be. Maybe this was good after all. If your cunt was too busy getting fingered you wouldn’t have enough time to think about how badly you needed to pee. 
“There. That’s a little better now, isn’t it?” He murmurs when you stiffly relax into it, rewarding you for your good behavior by bringing a second finger to your soft clit so he can caress you over a wider surface area now. “If you would have just listened to the instructions you were given we wouldn’t have to be doing this right now, would we? Maybe next time you’ll stop and think before you act out.” 
Groaning a soft sound of protest under your breath, you screw your eyes shut and try to turn your head away from him. He was far too close for your liking, his warm breath ghosting softly against your hair where he was bent close over you. But Wriothesley’s hold on your neck is as good as iron, and all you can seem to do is reluctantly shudder in place for him, earning a brief click of his tongue when you halfheartedly try to twist away from his hand. 
“Don’t get yourself all worked up again. And you were starting to look so obedient too. Just relax. I’ve got you, you little brat.” 
You noise a threadbare sound of disagreement into the suddenly static charged air, your legs flexing in vain against the sheets underneath you. It’s clear you were losing the fight though — and then he switches up the motion of his hand, going from carefully deliberate nudging at your clit to flattening those long, broad fingers over the apex of your mound so he can firmly drag them back and forth. The very sharp surge of sensitive arousal that shoots through you in response probably would have bowled you over on the spot if he hadn’t been keeping you held upright and in place, shuddering intensely with a faltering mewl. 
It makes your head positively spin from how potent it is as your hips reluctantly judder under the exquisite pressure. You were feeling more and more delirious by the moment, especially when you were aware of your pussy slowly wettening for him. He could feel it too, and he murmurs quiet words of praise at you for being so pliant for him. 
That alone is almost enough to lull you into a throbbing daze wherein you don’t even think to protest when Wriothesley finally directs his damp fingers even lower to press into your entrance. It’s only when he pushes in, smoothly sliding a thick digit into your cunt with enough soft, gooey friction that you woundedly lurch in your spot, and you abruptly snap out of it. 
Mild alarm registers in your mind at the unexpected penetration but it quickly ratchets up to full blown, squirming panic when you realize a moment later how insidiously cruel this really is. The heavy presence of him inside you puts additional strain on your bladder's muscle control, the resulting weak flex pulsing through your entire cunt to make your inner sleeve sensitively contract around his finger. All at once that insistent pressure to let go until you were mercifully empty roars back to life full force and you renew your struggle with a frantic little whimper. 
Wriothesley just shushes you though, sedately withdrawing his hand from your pussy just so he can then push in with two fingers. The mind numbing stretch to your body makes you weakly thrash and clench your teeth in an attempt to stop yourself from involuntarily pissing everywhere. But he seems to know what he’s doing and he’s hellbent on doing it, curling those broad digits inside you to push on up on your upper wall and jab towards where your heavy bladder rests inside you. 
“Oh - oohh — waaaah, stop it! Please! I - I don’t want to …” 
Readjusting his grip on your neck, Wriothesley pointedly nudges your face in his general direction to make you look at him even when your head drunkenly lolls in his grasp. “What’s not getting through that pretty little head of yours, huh? It doesn’t matter what you want. Your needs and desires are of no concern to me. As long as you’re here under my care you’ll do what I tell you to do, when I tell you to do it. Understand now?” 
Blubbering rather pitifully while he continues to almost idly fuck his fingers into your aching bladder, you just stare up at him in wide eyed disbelief. Not only were you incredibly taken aback by his misuse of power, his total lack of empathy for you, but the fact that he seemed to be actively trying to make you piss yourself strikes you as particularly alarming as well. Why would he want to do this to you? It didn’t even make any sense. 
But you stubbornly clench down even when the tears start to run over and track hot streaks down your face, fighting tooth and nail to keep your continence under control. It’s a losing battle when his fingers were so thick and heavy, churning your guts with every sharp little jab against your interior. And as the seconds tick by you can’t quite decide which is worse — the way his rough ministrations make your pussy noisily suck at his fingers, slurping loudly each time he plunges them inside, or if it’s the way your desperate attempt at tightening up just makes you squeeze down on him even harder. 
It’s a dizzying, confusing rush of sensation slamming into you all at once, head spinning so fast it almost comes as something of a relief when you feel the pressure in you start to tip. Wriothesley practically forces it out of you, demanding your body respond to him with such insidious precision that you simply can’t help but cum. 
And you do, seething viciously through your teeth while you tersely judder and shake into an unexpected yet not unwelcome orgasm. It leaves you reeling in his hold, woundedly lurching while you gasp and squeal, hips bucking uncontrollably as he continues to fuck his fingers into you. Deliberately milking your release for everything it’s worth and dragging it out until you sensitively angle your pelvis away from him, moaning a dire sound of frazzled distress. 
To your reeling, punchdrunk surprise, the Duke allows his fingers to carefully slide out of you and leave your tender cunt altogether, and you wheeze a grateful sigh at the reprieve. You’re not entirely sure how you’d managed not to vacate everything in your bladder throughout that process but you feel vaguely proud of yourself in the aftermath, in a far off, dreamy sort of way. 
You even manage to straighten up enough to shoot him a relatively sharp look of victory that you’re certain is not in any way diminished by the fact you were flushed hot and still trying to catch your breath. 
He just looks down at you though, those icy crystalline blue eyes taking some of the wind out of your sails for how unmoved they were. 
And when Wriothesley slides his hand out of your pants you foolishly think this bizarre trial is over, that you’d bested him at his own game and now he had no choice but to give up. 
Your triumph over him is regretfully short lived though, and a haggard, hissing gasp catches in your throat when he presses his palm down on your lower stomach. Jerking at the pressure, you immediately try to twist out of his grip even when it yanks on your neck but he holds you fast. A little more firmly he pushes down, not enough to crush or hurt you, yet it’s more than sufficient to make the tension in your bladder start to give out. 
You couldn’t stopper it. Not after being attacked from the inside and now the outside. All you can do is helplessly squeal and squeeze your thighs together as tight as you can but it’s no use. You feel it coming, eyes starting to roll back in your head when the first tiny trickle slips out of you. And once that small allowance is made, involuntary though it may be, it’s like you lose complete control all at once. 
Another dribble of piss quickly follows and then a full on stream, forced right out of you by the uncomfortable pressure on your guts. Wailing a stricken sound of humiliated defeat, you bonelessly slouch back into the wall and let your legs fall open in a wide spread while it just keeps coming out of you completely against your will. The warm, wet sensation rapidly spreads underneath you, soaking into the cot and even right through your pants. You’ve never felt quite so deeply embarrassed as you do watching that stain spread across the material as your hips twitch at the onset of great relief that comes with it, knowing Wriothesley was watching you piss yourself the same way. 
He doesn’t let up on your stomach until he seems to be certain there’s nothing left some few moments later, slowly retracting his hands from you and then straightening up to leave you sitting in your own soiled clothes. Weak and broken, you just lie there without even making an attempt to close your legs and hide the evidence from him. Not only was it much too late for that but there was also too much of a mess for you to conceivably hide any of it. 
Your pants were soaked. 
The middle of the mattress was as good as waterlogged. 
There was no way you’d ever be able to forget this mortifying ordeal for as long as you might live, and something told you Wriothesley was going to personally see to that himself. 
“Well,” He intones, casually straightening out his tie where it had gone askew. “I’d say that takes care of that. I trust you’re feeling better now, little miss inmate?” 
Listlessly rousing at that, you send him a halfhearted and tearful glare. “Screw you …” 
“Ah, so you’re still inclined to be mouthy with me I see. No matter. I’m sure you’ll be singing a much different tune the next time I check in.” He starts to pull away from the cot as if to leave but seems to think of something else, turning back to you again with a stilted exhale. “Seriously though, I hope you’ll take this opportunity to reflect on your behavior so we don’t have to have another demonstration like this one. I don’t like throwing my weight around unless I absolutely have to. You’re going to get yourself hurt down here if you start running your mouth with someone who’s a little less nice than me. Just some food for thought.” 
He does leave then, calmly walking over to the door which he tugs open and steps through, shutting it with a click behind him. The sound of a rattling set of keys turning in the lock rings loud in the tight, cramped little space as you’re left alone in a quickly cooling puddle of your own piss with only your deeply embarrassed feelings for company now. 
If this was how the Duke did things in his fortress then perhaps it would be wise to behave him from now on. At the very least you didn’t want to get on his bad side again. 
Crossposted: here
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tubbytarchia · 1 year ago
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Actually I'm gonna need a little insanity thread for all the rancher things I love as I watch their POV for the first time. I'll publicize this when I'm done with ep5
TLDR: Heavens, it is a long list. I cannot tldr this
Them running around in circles, completely lost after their first deaths whilst also not expressing even the slightest bit of anger (esp Jimmy because you know)
Them expecting the other to know how to build but neither of them can
Tango building a box of a house and Jimmy being absolutely smitten by it continuously
Tango praising Jimmy with full genuinity for bringing back... a bucket of water
Them cradling one little chicken like its their offspring before they can get more
Jimmy standing behind the door, calling for Tango in order to surprise him with cows.... god help my heart
Tango declaring them as team ranchers to immediately admit he might not be a very good rancher. This is good and cute because I love to see them struggle yet have unbridled support towards each other
Jimmy being cornered by Joel and Etho so Tango leaves to save him (or so he says at least!)
Jimmy ushering Tango into their house as Tango yells for help due to his hunger and being chased by mobs, and then Jimmy giving him two melon slices because that's all he has (They are so pathetically poor which only accentuates the wholesome and cute factor)
Jimmy accidentally picking up Tango's baked potato and then handing it back to him so they can eat together while Tango basically foams out the mouth because he's so hungry
"Welcome home honey"
Them celebrating being able to feed themselves to any degree
Tango all "I built that wall, it's ugly, continuing the trend" only for Jimmy to immediately proclaim that he likes it
Jimmy catching on that Tango can be a great builder actually and confronting him about it like he's just been cheated on
Tango blocking their entrance to prevent more cows from leaving for Jimmy to then admit that he was the one that broke the door, oops
Tango watching Jimmy escort two goats from a distance "he's doing great"
Them in total confusion wasting way too much time trying to figure out how to get goat horns as they're huddled in their house with said goats strolling around (and them continuing to get butted casually as they go about their normal activities) before eventually choosing to waste much more time by trying to do the same thing outside
Unrelated but Pearl of all people being the first person to come to them with genuine help rather than to fuck with them like everyone else
In the face of all their struggles, the thing that seems to bring the absolute most joy to Tango and Jimmy by this point is obtaining a silly little goat horn
The fact that they both got the exact same goat horn!!!
"I need stuff for tools, and I need stuff for Jimmy"
Tango defending their base's looks despite proclaiming to be a bad builder, because god, I want him to be doing that just because of how much Jimmy praised it
Nobody replying to their goat horns, but THEM replying to each other!! (They also toot at each other later when frantically looking for each other agh!!)
This time Tango interrogating Jimmy as if he's been cheated on because Jimmy went into the deep dark without his approval
"The R survived"
"Tango snap out of it; Tango's having a moment" *Tango yelling and groaning and grunting and laughing continuously*
"Tango, Tango, let's think about this. Let's think about this!" "Hold me back" "Tango, listen to the horn" Jimmy calming his deranged husband aw
Tango burying his head in a corner refusing to look at his beautiful ranch in complete ruin even as Jimmy coaxes him
Jimmy and Tango kind of begrudgingly accepting Scar trying to be nice but Jimmy still valiantly defending the foot tower before it burned to the ground
Their son/daughter :( (Tango refers to the Warden as a she one episode and a he in another. Their child was an icon...)
Tango expressing that he's proud of Jimmy for having stayed alive so long and Jimmy replying "It's all down to to you. Hey, I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you"
Maybe Jimmy really didn't have a water bucket on him but it was so funny of him to casually turn to Tango whilst on fire and go "can you put me out?"
Jimmy being comically kidnapped??? (Actually being put into gay baby jail instead) And asking Tango to help save him
"You're still here? It's over. Go home. Go." (insert a bunch of crying emojis)
Other stuff: I think by virtue of Jimmy being a real tall guy, his character is usually depicted as taller than Tango's if not significantly so. As such... Tango calling Jimmy "little man" tickles me greatly and sounds like a very fond pet name
Briefly brought it up earlier but goddd. I will absolutely hc that Tango only became proud and defendant of his work because of how much Jimmy liked what he built. And Jimmy always being there and calming Tango in his crazed outbursts <3 Tango is such a goddamn creature isn't he
And the uhh... Tango dying quickest out of anyone because of a creeper, to then express that he was proud of Jimmy for doing well even though he got them killed the first time around, and then Jimmy unceremoniously dying to an Enderman to end their series for good... As funny and poetic as it is, god, the canary curse fuckin hurts!! And yet there were hardly times that Tango showed disdain towards Jimmy, and then never genuinely. He knew their series could end quick with Jimmy as his soulmate and even when their positivity faltered, their support towards one another never did
For having read all this (or maybe just glancing and scrolling)... some unfinished rancher doodles just for you that I made while watching their POV
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:)
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The Radiant Dawn, Leona of the Solari – an analysis
Leona, Leona, what to do with you, oh Radiant Dawn, daughter of the Sun-forgers? You who scorn love so, in the face of duty?
What with the latest season of Arcane having fully come out, and many of us still grasping to comprehend the ending of that wonderful series (I will maintain that it’s probably one of the best pieces of media I have ever had the joy of consuming), I got to thinking about another military dictator that leads a scourge against her lover’s people. So, strap in and grab your drinks, cause this is going to be a long one.
I have seen some funny posts juxtapositioning Violyn/ Caitvi and Leodia, and while one cannot deny the first glance similarities in the stories, especially with the new route Piltover’s finest took, the premise of their stories is at its core different.  BUT today we will not explore the similarities and differences in the premise of the broader systems that both stories take place in, but rather take a deeper look into our beloved obstacle of a Targonian “cult leader”, Leona.
            Now Leona’s character in league is rather…unremarkable at first glance. More of an obstacle than a worthy adversary, a mindless cultist that perpetuates the oppression against her peoples’ sister tribe, too blind to see past that, even when her lover begs her to. Personally, I prefer to think of Leona as an unremarkable character with remarkable potential, should Riot decide to ever do anything with it. The roots of a good story have already been planted. Because yes, in Arcane we also talked about oppression, class stratification, abuse of power, and a twisted corrupt judicial system, but now, in Targon, we’ll talk about cults.
I am no expert, but cultism and totalitarian regimes do have a few common points in the way they function, thus the perceived similarities between the two storylines. However, I feel in the hands of capable writers the Targonian storyline can become a beautiful story about religious fanatism, and cultism, the struggle of individuality, and how challenging it is to escape from them, if at all… (I do like some tragic lesbians, sue me. A happy ending that does justice to the inherent tragedy of those two will have to be earned, and if a tragic ending is what does them justice, I will accept it.)
It’s high time we got this party started though, isn’t it?
Leona is born in the Solari tribe of Targon, a tribe that venerated the Sun more than any other upon the mountain. Which at first glance seems innocent enough, right?
Cults in principle, and to my limited understanding, are authoritarian systems that revolve around a particular belief, that have rules and dogma and encourage their members to isolate themselves from would-be questioners of their faith. By taking a look at what we know about the Solari, most of these terms seem to be fulfilled. An authoritarian system based around the worship of the Sun, with strict rules, rigid principles, and rituals, led not by one charismatic leader, as many cults are, but by a council of elders, that determine what is acceptable and what not in Her worship. While they also take care to mindfully curate the available information in the temple and discourage or silence those that oppose their teachings.
Leona is a child born to the Sun-forgers Melia and Iasur, and takes to her parents’ faith with a stride, comfortable in its rigidity and its unrelenting structures. She is reportedly as seen both through her bio and the letter to her parents in “Rise with me”, a near perfect acolyte, her devotion, and excellence in seemingly everything but that one oration class, inspiring envy in her peers, and admiration in her elders, all of them certain that she would one day become a Ra’Horak, a holy warrior of the Solari.
The thing is, that children growing up in cults are a tricky thing to write despite its supposed straightforwardness. Especially if you want to create a character as complicated as I hope Leona will turn out to be. The basics of it are things we already know; children are extremely vulnerable to adult influence; their minds are sponges and their parents’ world is their world. They listen, observe and absorb the behavior, the views and opinions of the people around them, and accept them as reality, because they are children and do not know any better. As one might imagine, the extent of fanatism that Leona grew up with is variable, depending on how her own parents acted and how deep in they were themselves. Now I am a bit rusty on Rakori and Targonian lore, but if we take the short story “Rise with me” into account, I think it is safe to say that Melia and Iasur were in pretty deep.
Another thing to note about children that grow up in cults is that the cult leader and the cult’s needs come first. Which means that the child rarely enjoys their parents’ attention, much less love and affection. Something that in my humble opinion would drive some of them to strive for perfection and trying to satisfy their parents’ every wish and every whim, in hope of getting even a hint of affection. That is something we can see rather clearly in the story if we want to examine a bit Leona’s relationship with her Dayblessed parents.
Before we dive into that, however, what we can summarize from all of the above is that Leona is, in principle, a person that likes rules. Someone that grew up heeding them. That thrives in hierarchical systems, and well-structured environments, with clear denominations for right and wrong, for what one should and should not do. According to the bio this rigidity brings her comfort, and solace. Because it is familiar and comfortable. It’s what in all probability she grew up with. Moreover, Leona is a perfectionist. Something we are told, through her bio, and her own letters and diary, but we can also see when looking at her through the lens of Diana’s eyes.
To continue with my previous point, though, when looking at her relationship with her parents…well, I’ll let you figure this out on your own. We only have her diary entries and letters sent and unsent to garner information from, but that is enough to paint a detailed enough picture of what her relationship with her parents entails. Even without looking at it from the “child that grew up in a cult” angle, we can see there is little affection between them. Even from her first letter, we can feel the clean-cut, prim and proper courteousness of their communication, accompanied by the hints of affection every child holds for their parents. It is, however, far from warm, or heartfelt. It seems more like kind interest, than any real investment, in her parents’ or siblings’ wellbeing and then proceeds to become a report on her achievements and perceived weaknesses. Even the title of the section, the opening of the letter, “Letter from a devoted daughter” holds no personality, as if Leona’s entire being can be compressed and described by those two words.
We do get a similar impression from the letter Polymnius sent to Melia and Iasur. The letter itself contains the priest’s thanks for the new lanternglass crafted by the sun-forger, and also devolves to a report of Leona’s progress after his communication with all of her instructors, and his observation of her skills in battle. Now on the one hand, Polymnius could be just a family friend or the priest responsible for communicating with the acolytes’ families. On the other hand however, one might start questioning just how much control Leona’s parents can exert over her life, even in their absence. Do they hold sway with the priesthood? Are their immense expectations passed on through priests and teachers, adding more and more to the pressure Leona faces every day? To be strong, devout, worthy and good? And again, the letter ends with  “I know you would be proud.” I am sure they would Polymnius, I am sure they would.
            At this point I’d like to point out that he is probably the only person that worries that Leona is taking her duties far too seriously and needs to take a few steps back to relax and delight in the Sun’s gifts. (And honestly, same.)
Moving forward we have the Letter from Sunsworn Priestess Nemyah to a shining pupil, that once more applauds Leona for her achievements, with little to no fanfare. And again we note that sense of depersonalization, of Leona being defined by those characterizations, by her achievements, her rights and wrongs. 
            And then of course we get into the fight between Leona and Diana and the disciplinary letter sent to her by her parents. Which honestly goes about as well as you would expect,
We know that you are capable of better and expect you to rise to the occasion. Leaders in Her Light do not run into impediments that they cannot overcome, nor do they get hindered by such earthly mischief as “a shouting match at school.”
And of course
…will speak with you about how better to secure your future then.
So much for parental love… If anything, it’s a declaration of disappointment, with clear expectations and measures to be met, We know you are better than this, we expect you to be better than this, leaders do not fumble. Sounds particularly loving, doesn’t it? Definitely not like they worry about their reputation, and their image in the community more than their daughter’s wellbeing and most certainly not like they have her future already decided for her. A future they can benefit from, of course.
I will try to keep this at a reasonable length and will not overly analyze Leona’s own unsent replies, for they are pretty straightforward. They are characterized by Leona’s anxiety, fear and guilt for disappointing her parents and failing to reach the tremendous expectations they have set for her.
            So to sum this part up, Leona was raised by overly strict parents, in an environment in which she received little to no affection and positive reinforcement, even for her achievements that far exceeded those of her peers. She has also been burdened with a set of rather impossible expectations, that she strives to reach no matter what. We saw that Iasur and Melia are quick to discipline her and voice their disappointment, rather rancidly might I say, and yet made little to no mention of Leona’s multiple achievements that have been noted by multiple instructors as well as Polymnius. As for Leona herself, one might say she is afraid to be herself and express her own thoughts. Even when she writes a letter that truly encompasses her thoughts and feelings, in that same letter she resolutely states that she will not send it.
So insofar we have an affection-starved, rule-loving perfectionist, that probably hasn’t had any positive reinforcement since she was like 5 and has her parents and everyone around her connect and define her worth as a person though her personal achievements and services in Her light. It would be safe to assume that from a point on, Leona herself starts putting herself in those boxes, limiting her sense of self and worth to the glass ceiling of their expectations, adding more and more expectations on herself, back bending further and further back, until inevitably reaching her breaking point. And of course, this is all she has ever known. The rules, the hierarchy, the expectations, the dogma, is what she grew up with, is what feels familiar, and in a twisted sense, “right”.  We could thus somewhat explain why Leona holds her duty in such high regard. She has come to define herself and her worth as a person, through it. It’s all she has ever really known.
            Not to say that things are as bleak as they seem at first glance. For there is one shining light in Leona’s life, one guiding beacon that tries to break her out of the glass cage, at least at the point in time when Rise With Me takes place, and it is none other than Diana.
            Now, according to Leona’s bio, she saw in Diana an ever-curious spirit devoted to the search for meaning, and the truth, and that’s sth that holds up in the short story as well. Diana’s ingenuity and unique perspective of things, her being the one dissonant voice in the harmonious chorus of the elders’ teachings, intrigue young Leona.
When looking into the respective missives that Leona sends to Diana in respects of their shared oration class, starting from the first one even, we can see that despite all the greatness she has achieved, all her triumphs, and graces, she remains shy, and humble. Even knowing that she is amongst the best of her peers, and the priests’ favorites, she does not brag, does not demand, does not exert any power or control. Instead, she approaches her faults humbly and asks for Diana’s – the outcast’s - help in a respectful manner. She does not let her shortcomings define her or hinder her. She recognizes them as something to improve, and humbly asks for help from someone she believes she can benefit from, someone that will help, and not just shower her with mindless praise.  She recognizes Diana’s ingenuity and applauds her argument construction; while pledging to help her in return should Diana need assistance herself.
Leona is humble and kind. Though to a certain degree we might even consider her having a bit of a people pleasing attitude accompanied by a slight lack of confidence. Perfectionists as a rule hate making mistakes or seeming inadequate. It’s a big blow in their confidence and the sense of self they have constructed around the concept of said perfection. After living for so long in an environment of such heavy expectations, it’s no wonder one might start second-guessing themselves, no matter how good they are, even for the smallest of mistakes.
            Back to Leona though, she is humble, kind and considerate, perhaps even to a fault. There is this sense of her not wanting to impose on Diana’s schedule, on which she rather insists. She doesn’t want to be trouble, she does not want to be a burden, and of course she then offers her own help in return should it be needed, which is the decent and honorable thing to do.
            Leona’s diary entry where she considers asking Diana to the festival is what also gives us a glimpse of the person behind the armor, behind the rule abiding student, behind the mask of achievements and perfection. To no surprise, we get a more in depth perspective of Leona’s own thoughts and feelings, as long as her take on “how to ask the girl I like out without coming across like a total fool, or indoctrinating asshole?” She is anxious, thoughtful and tender, considerate and sweet in her approach, and a little bit hopeless, but I think we can forgive her. She is downright smitten and hasn’t realized how much just yet. She even goes through with one of her plans to ask Diana to practice with the shields, and well, forgive me if I say it is adorable.
            Diana’s presence in Leona’s life and story, however, is not important because the will-be Aspect of the Sun is absolutely smitten with her, or even because she encompasses the total opposite of what Leona is (which let’s be honest, she doesn’t. They are complimentary to one another, not opposites), but because Diana makes Leona think.
            That’s the reason Leona approached her in the first place, her ability to think and construct cohesive and compelling arguments. Something that Leona herself is lacking in, because alongside most of the other Solari acolytes, she lacks critical thinking. An essential component of trying to construct an argument of any sort - if you do not want to parrot something you learned in a book once.
            Diana’s arguments, thoughts and criticisms on their given materials have Leona thinking, examining what she is taught, and what she says in oration class herself. Diana teaches Leona how to think, she teaches her how to construct arguments, how to reinforce them, to find fallacies in arguments and counteract them. In her quest to learn how to defend her point, Leona starts learning how to look deeper into things, to examine their essence, and construct counterpoints. And we can see that she starts thinking about it, if only superficially. She doesn’t go full out critical thinking, or questioning everything she has ever known, it doesn’t work like that, but the seed has been planted.  “Why do you think I need to go deeper than that when it’s widely known already?” It’s not much but it is a start to the path of critical thinking.
And then after an undetermined amount of time, comes their shared ascension. And that’s where the discrepancies in the story start. Mind you the bio was written a few years before the short story came out, so the characterization obviously is not entirely in line with what we know.
            This Leona is one that debates with Diana still, but wants to persuade her not to look further into their faith, and just accept it as it is. At Diana’s sharing the secret of the alcove, Leona is a stone wall of resistance urging her friend away from the climb, afraid for her wellbeing should she inspire further ire from the Solari. When Diana inevitably climbs the mountain, and while her first instinct is to alert the elders, Leona resolves to help and protect her friend instead and follows after her into the night. Against all odds they manage to reach the peak, and she is wreathed in golden light, fighting tooth and nail to keep her sense of self intact. And she wins.
            At this point, I think we can all see the difference between bio-Leona and the Leona that the short story sets the foundations of. Obviously for the sake of storytelling and with some tweaking these two could co-exist as canon versions of Leona in different times of her life. We could potentially be talking about a tragic story about how religion and blind adherence to duty and tradition drive a wedge between two people that very much love each other. Or the bio could be a bit of a “historical account” of what happened, and Leona having had to care for Diana after her punishments one too many times puts up a wall of resistance, an ultimatum of the “I don’t want to lose you” kind.
            No matter the case, and despite of what Riot might decide to do to expand on their story, and either give us a critical thinking Leona, or a very good reason for not having a critical thinking Leona, the point is that Leona is incredibly loyal to those she cares about.
            And now comes the point of the ascension. The critical point in their story, where instead of going with Diana, and living their happily ever after away from the system that tortured them both, albeit in completely different manners, Leona chooses to stay.
            And I think sometimes when thinking about Leona, we do not always recognize that this is the point where everything is going down. This is the point where everything we have so far discussed comes into play. Because their ascension is a traumatic experience. One that upends everything Leona has ever known. The process of their ascension is traumatic, the very essence of it, bloody terrifying. Because it is a jump into the unknown. It challenges the truths that she has constructed her whole sense of self around, demolishes the very principles that she grew up enforcing.
            There is this interaction in Legends of Runeterra, where Diana urges Leona to understand that Day needs Night, referencing the visions they both saw upon Targon’s peak. And what does Leona reply? “Visions from memories not my own.”
            Full-blown denial. Not that I particularly blame her initial reaction. Because what is it that we have here? We have that affection-starved perfectionist that grew up in a cult, that wounded inner child that has come to tie her worth as a person to the degree of her personal achievements. We have that honorable, rule abiding, and duty loving person, a person that finds solace in strict structures and hierarchies, that thrives in them, thrown into absolute CHAOS.
You have Leona, that rule abiding idiot, that transcends her own limits that takes that one calculated risk to follow Diana and save her from the mountain’s clutches and ends up with watching a blast of divine light slamming into Diana. She goes to help, and before she can help a blast of divine light slams into her, filling her head with a second divine conscience, with visions and memories of other Sun Aspects, of times when truly the people of the mountain were united. And then the onslaught ends, and she faces a Diana different from the one she knows, a Diana dressed in the colors of the enemy.
            So Leona, bearing all of the characteristics we mentioned above, is bloody terrified out of her wits. She is faced with such terrifyingly foreign notions, with such stress, that what is she going to do? She regresses back to what she already knows. And what she knows are the elders and the Solari, and the priests, the rules, the scriptures, the dogma. In face of that terrifying truth she regresses back to the perceived safety of that toxic and unhealthy system -that on top of everything is a cult- that she grew up in.
            Now this brings forth this thought about ignorance. Because Leona is ignorant of the truth. She is, however, intimately familiar with the narrative she has grown up with. People are familiar with their ignorance, and oftentimes they choose to bear the ills of what they know than to fly to others that they know not of. And thus, they are cowards. (Hamlet anyone?)
Leona is a prime example of that. Instead of sitting down and considering the new information, the truth revealed, the unknown future ahead, she clings to her ignorance, to her half-knowledge of the story, because it is familiar, and safe. And she is bloody terrified of the new unknown that Diana proposes they follow.
Now that is not to say that everything we have discussed boils down to Leona is a coward. Though that is partly true. But she is also a kid that grew up in a system that fostered that kind of cowardice. She is someone that grew up in an environment of cultism and religious fanatism, and she grew up ingrained to it. Contrary to Diana as one might point out. And these are all things we need to take into account when handling a character like Leona, and care that we do not flatten such immense complexity of conditions and circumstances, such depth of thought and emotion to “brainless genocidal cultist”. 
(Now if you ask, why does Diana have critical thinking, why did she not get ingrained and lost in that system despite growing up in it for as long if not longer than Leona, what is it that makes her different from the other cult kids, I have absolutely no idea, but that’s not the point of this particular post.)
To finish this off, the point of this post is not to excuse Leona of all the horrible things she has done, or even to argue that she is not a genocidal cultist- she very much is, and the point is definitely not to say that it is not her fault and she was just a product of her circumstances. We all are products of the circumstances that surround us, but we are not passive participants in those conditions. No, the point is to try and understand where Leona might be coming from, and to demonstrate that even the simplest and most obtuse of character concepts can have an intricate and complicated story behind them.
If you did manage to reach the end of this, congratulations! Have a cookie and don’t forget to hydrate!
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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year ago
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#hmmm. was just looking at the results of my bloodtest from earlier this week and im all normal apparently#so my thyroid isnt fucked and the hypomanic episodes r in fact just coming from my brain as expected#and the doctor did slap me with a bipolar II diagnosis. which is still find dubious. but also he would have to i guess in order to#prescribe me an antipsychotic but like. sounds like a thing that would increase my insurance rates lol#whatever. i just find the idea of me being bipolar to be so wild. i mean like yes. i guess technically if u look at the word bipolar#unipolar would b a depressed and normal mood range. and bipolar would b depressed and elevated mood#and yes ive spent a lot of my life being rather depressed. sometimes treding near the point of not being able to function#but like usually its not that bad and im so anxious i cant just not function. the ocd keeps me afloat lmao#and yes i have these infrequent little peaks of high energy and even more infrequent instances of elevated mood#so i guess yes that does count as a bipolar mood profile. but is the underlying cause bipolar disorder or is it that i make myself so#miserable with my compulsive behavior that it sends me into spirals of depression or overheats my brain into fits of hypomania#i suppose it doesnt really matter if the presentation is still on thr spectrum#idk i guess i just find it annoying not to fit cleanly into a box. im more a: the spectrum of human experience type person#i guess its better to struggle a lil bit with a number of things than b all consumed by one single thing#i mean. im a lil all consumed by the compulsive behavior. but again its not exactly thr classic presentation of ocd. which i find#frustrating bc i like to characterize and understand things. ugh#well see what the psychologist has to say when i show her my insane mood tracking figures#lol last time she told me to track my anxiety but not make a chart abt it. and i was like god dammit shes onto me#listen. i do research. i like data 🙄#unrelated#also the docor i saw was like yea its joy normal to get 3hrs of sleep and not b tired#how abt a week of 5-6hrs of sleep and not being tired??? how bout that?#also not good fyi. i csn feel my brain fraying#me: shut up im normal. also me not sleeping and getting increasingly unhinged#ive got 1tachi levek eye bags 😭#also i kno its a thing they have to ask but everytime i start describing how i would charactize my intrusive thoughts doctors go:#hm. do u even hear voices telling u do do these thing? and its like no theyre my thoughts but also they feel like they come from outside#of my body. which when i say it sounds crazy but like idk how else to say it. its like theyre projected into my head but i kno it comes#from me. ya kno?
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qqueenofhades · 1 year ago
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Hello! This is kind of a weird ask, I'm sorry to bother you, but seeing as you're a very intelligent studied historian that I deeply respect, I was hoping you could offer some advice? Or like, things i could read? Lately, i feel like my critical thinking skills are emaciated and its scaring the shit out of me. I feel very slow and like I'm constantly missing important info in relation to news/history/social activism stuff. Thats so vague, sorry, but like any tips on how i can do better?
Aha, thank you. There was recently a good critical-thinking infograph on my dash, so obviously I thought I remembered who reblogged it and checked their blog, it wasn't them, thought it was someone else, checked their blog, it also wasn't them, and now I can't find it to link to. Alas. But I will try to sum up its main points and add a few of my own. I'm glad you're taking the initiative to work on this for yourself, and I will add that while it can seem difficult and overwhelming to sort through the mass of information, especially often-false, deliberately misleading, or otherwise bad information, there are a few tips to help you make some headway, and it's a skill that like any other skill, gets easier with practice. So yes.
The first and most general rule of thumb I would advise is the same thing that IT/computer people tell you about scam emails. If something is written in a way that induces urgency, panic, the feeling that you need to do something RIGHT NOW, or other guilt-tripping or anxiety-inducing language, it is -- to say the least -- questionable. This goes double if it's from anonymous unsourced accounts on social media, is topically or thematically related to a major crisis, or anything else. The intent is to create a panic response in you that overrides your critical faculties, your desire to do some basic Googling or double-checking or independent verification of its claims, and makes you think that you have to SHARE IT WITH EVERYONE NOW or you are personally and morally a bad person. Unfortunately, the world is complicated, issues and responses are complicated, and anyone insisting that there is Only One Solution and it's conveniently the one they're peddling should not be trusted. We used to laugh at parents and grandparents for naively forwarding or responding to obviously scam emails, but now young people are doing the exact same thing by blasting people with completely sourceless social media tweets, clips, and other manipulative BS that is intended to appeal to an emotional gut rather than an intellectual response. When you panic or feel negative emotions (anger, fear, grief, etc) you're more likely to act on something or share questionable information without thinking.
Likewise, you do have basic Internet literacy tools at your disposal. You can just throw a few keywords into Google or Wikipedia and see what comes up. Is any major news organization reporting on this? Is it obviously verifiable as a fake (see the disaster pictures of sharks swimming on highways that get shared after every hurricane)? Can you right-click, perform a reverse image search, and see if this is, for example, a picture from an unrelated war ten years ago instead of an up-to-date image of the current conflict? Especially with the ongoing Israel/Palestine imbroglio, we have people sharing propaganda (particularly Hamas propaganda) BY THE BUCKETLOAD and masquerading it as legitimate news organizations (tip: Quds News Network is literally the Hamas channel). This includes other scuzzy dirtbag-left websites like Grayzone and The Intercept, which often have implicit or explicit links to Russian-funded disinformation campaigns and other demoralizing or disrupting fake news that is deliberately designed to turn young left-leaning Westerners against the Democrats and other liberal political parties, which enables the electoral victory of the fascist far-right and feeds Putin's geopolitical and military aims. Likewise, half of our problems would be solved if tankies weren't so eager to gulp down and propagate anything "anti-Western" and thus amplify the Russian disinformation machine in a way even the Russians themselves sometimes struggle to do, but yeah. That relates to both Russia/Ukraine and Israel/Palestine.
Basically: TikTok, Twitter/X, Tumblr itself, and other platforms are absolutely RIFE with misinformation, and this is due partly to ownership (the Chinese government and Elon Fucking Musk have literally no goddamn reason whatsoever to build an unbiased algorithm, and have been repeatedly proven to be boosting bullshit that supports their particular worldviews) and partly due to the way in which the young Western left has paralyzed itself into hypocritical moral absolutes and pseudo-revolutionary ideology (which is only against the West itself and doesn't think that the rest of the world has agency to act or think for itself outside the West's influence, They Are Very Smart and Anti-Colonialist!) A lot of "information" in left-leaning social media spaces is therefore tainted by this perspective and often relies on flat-out, brazen, easily disprovable lies (like the popular Twitter account insisting that Biden could literally just overturn the Supreme Court if he really wanted to). Not all misinformation is that easy to spot, but with a severe lack of political, historical, civic, or social education (since it's become so polarized and school districts generally steer away from it or teach the watered-down version for fear of being attacked by Moms for Liberty or similar), it is quickly and easily passed along by people wanting trite and simplistic solutions for complex problems or who think the extent of social justice is posting the Right Opinions on social media.
As I said above, everything in the world is complicated and has multiple factors, different influences, possible solutions, involved actors, and external and internal causes. For the most part, if you're encountering anything that insists there's only one shiningly righteous answer (which conveniently is the one All Good and Moral People support!) and the other side is utterly and even demonically in the wrong, that is something that immediately needs a closer look and healthy skepticism. How was this situation created? Who has an interest in either maintaining the status quo, discouraging any change, or insisting that there's only one way to engage with/think about this issue? Who is being harmed and who is being helped by this rhetoric, including and especially when you yourself are encouraged to immediately spread it without criticism or cross-checking? Does it rely on obvious lies, ideological misinformation, or something designed to make you feel the aforementioned negative emotions? Is it independently corroborated? Where is it sourced from? When you put the author's name into Google, what comes up?
Also, I think it's important to add that as a result, it's simply not possible to distill complicated information into a few bite-sized and easily digestible social media chunks. If something is difficult to understand, that means you probably need to spend more time reading about it and encountering diverse perspectives, and that is research and work that has to take place primarily not on social media. You can ask for help and resources (such as you're doing right now, which I think is great!), but you can't use it as your chief or only source of information. You can and should obviously be aware of the limitations and biases of traditional media, but often that has turned into the conspiracy-theory "they never report on what's REALLY GOING ON, the only information you can trust is random anonymous social media accounts managed by God knows who." Traditional media, for better or worse, does have certain evidentiary standards, photographing, sourcing, and verifying requirements, and other ways to confirm that what they're writing about actually has some correspondence with reality. Yes, you need to be skeptical, but you can also trust that some of the initial legwork of verification has been done for you, and you can then move to more nuanced review, such as wording, presentation of perspective, who they're interviewing, any journalistic assumptions, any organizational shortcomings, etc.
Once again: there is a shit-ton of stuff out there, it is hard to instinctively know or understand how to engage with it, and it's okay if you don't automatically "get" everything you read. That's where the principle of actually taking the time to be informed comes in, and why you have to firmly divorce yourself from the notion that being socially aware or informed means just instantly posting or sharing on social media about the crisis of the week, especially if you didn't know anything about it beforehand and are just relying on the Leftist Groupthink to tell you how you should be reacting. Because things are complicated and dangerous, they take more effort to unpick than just instantly sharing a meme or random Twitter video or whatever. If you do in fact want to talk about these things constructively, and not just because you feel like you're peer-pressured into doing so and performing the Correct Opinions, then you will in fact need to spend non-social-media time and effort in learning about them.
If you're at a university, there are often subject catalogues, reference librarians, and other built-in tools that are there for you to use and which you SHOULD use (that's your tuition money, after all). That can help you identify trustworthy information sources and research best practices, and as you do that more often, it will help you have more of a feel for things when you encounter them in the wild. It's not easy at first, but once you get the hang of it, it becomes more so, and will make you more confident in your own judgments, beliefs, and values. That way when you encounter something that you KNOW is wrong, you won't be automatically pressured to share it just to fit in, because you will be able to tell yourself what the problems are.
Good luck!
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mulletmitsuya · 1 year ago
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Tokyo Revengers Groupchat (not everyone, also random combinations, no specific gang)
Warnings: swearing, suggestive, homophobia by a gay person (just sillies), mentions of vomit and poison, mentions of drugs
Desc: placenta, placebo, or gazebo? 🤔
Rindou: yk when you tell someone something then they believe it and it works?
Rindou: like what you're saying isn't true but cause they think it is, it works
Ran: yes
Ran: the placenta effect
Izana: here we fucking go
Smiley: you're kidding right?😁
Ran: are you going to put a Smiley face after every single thing you text?
Ran: we get it, you smile really wide 👍
Smiley: kys
Ran: so hostile and for what
Mikey: idk what the word is but it's definitely not placenta
Izana: how even?
Mitsuya: ...the placebo effect??
Ran: isn't that those huge tent things
Mitsuya: that's a gazebo
Ran: oh
Ran: same thing
Smiley: you dumb as hell
Hakkai: you'd think that big ass forhead of yours would be worth something
Hakkai: smh
Ran: and you'd think after 10 years you'd get over whatever grudge you have against me
Hakkai: you literally hit my best friend (future bf) over the head with a brick
Chifuyu: thought you could sneak that in huh
Hakkai: he could have died
Ran: but he didn't?
Ran: i was just being silly and having fun
Ran: is that such a crime🙄
Hakkai: ITS FUCKING ATTEMPTED MURDER
Rindou: so is it placebo, placenta, or gazebo?
Mitsuya: it's placebo
Kazutora: placenta's are in females stomachs for pregnancy i think
Baji: that's the uterus (i'm so fucking smart)
Chifuyu: none of those are correct
Draken: google exists also
Draken: why are you asking us
Rindou: shut up for a sec
Rindou: would the placenta effect potentially kill someone
Rindou: like if you told someone that you poisoned them and then after a while they start frothing at the mouth and shit, could they die?
Rindou: or are they being a little bitch and faking lol
Rindou: i didn't actually put the rat poison in his drink (i think)
Rindou: but it kinda seems like he's dying or smth
Mikey: what the fuck is this situation
Mikey: is this real?💀
Rindou: nah
Rindou: hypothetically
Ran: does this have to do with the ambulance being here
Rindou: nah
Rindou: can y'all just answer me
Rindou: hurry before the "poison", does it's job or whatever
Rindou: guys he's throwing up pretty violently
Rindou: there's blood
Rindou: hypothetically
Izana: who would you have "hypothetically" poisoned?😐
Rindou: bro that's not the point, sir
Izana: stop calling me sir in normal situations
Izana: we're normal now and not in a gang and i'm a normal person not a gang leader
Mochi: so we don't have to call you Izana-sama anymore?
Ran: what if it turns us on
Izana: uhm
Kakucho: fuck off
Kakucho: sorry
Ran: Kaku give it up, he's way too old for you
Rindou: so y'all just gonna let the hypothetical person die? ayt
Rindou: i'm on my way to the hospital for unrelated reasons
Kakucho: who's the hypothetical victim of the placebo
Rindou: uhhh Sanzu
Kakucho: LMAO
Kakucho: let him hypothetically die then 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Mitsuya: punch him in the stomach
Rindou: i know a lot of y'all don't like him but we're friends now and i don't want him to die also he has the best drugs so i'd rather he stay alive so that i can enjoy them recreationally
Rindou: but i'll do it anyway
Mitsuya: stfu for a sex, punching him will make him throw up, and he'll vomit most of the poison out
Rindou: oh like in the stomach?
Rindou: he's gonna be so mad at me, damn
Baji: "shut up for a sex" lmaoooooo🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Baji: and you guys say I'M diabetic💀💀
Mikey: bro what?😭
Kakucho: you mean dyslexic?
Kakucho: nvm the situation speaks for itself
Smiley: the irony of this is crazy
Draken: that got a chuckle outta me 😂
Chifuyu: why you text like a 40 year old dad💀
Ran: i never went to school but even i know that's incorrect
Hakkai: "i never went to school but even i know that's incorrect 🤓👆"
Hakkai: jump into oncoming tragic you f slur🖕
Smiley: aur naur you done made Hakkai homophobic
Ran: you need to fucking chill omg
Mitsuya: are you five years old, Baji
Baji: nah i'm 24 dumbness🤨
Baji: *dumbass
Izana: my oath for not using violence anymore might have to be on hold cause you guys are pissing me the fuck off you fucking incompetent fools useless excuses of human beings
Smiley: bro called us fools
Ran: that's a bit much, sir
Baji: bet you're typing with your left hand
Ran: uh huh <3
Rindou: get some fucking bitches, damn
Ran: where are your bitches, Rindou
Rindou: on my dick
Ran: oh you're talking about the femboys?
Ran: ohh ok i thought you weren't gay but whatever
Mikey: yo is haruchiyo alive?
Rindou: they're pumping his stomach, he'll be fine
Rindou: liking femboys isn't gay
Smiley: 🤨
Angry: 🤨
Rindou: don't act dumb because it's literally in the term 'fem'
Draken: uh, what about the 'boy' part
Rindou: don't twist my words
Rindou: how is liking something that looks like a girl, gay??
Mitsuya: bffr 😐
Rindou: y'all telling me if i fuck haruchiyo i'm gay???
Hakkai: he's a boy?
Rindou: he looks like a woman
Rindou: have you seen his body? tiny ass waist headass. y'all come to the onsen next time you'll see what i mean
Chifuyu: you're being weird rn
Ran: what about his penis, Rindou
Rindou: that's irrelevant
Rindou: besides it's barely noticeable
Draken: people like you and Koko are the fucking problem, get some therapy
Smiley: Rindou thinks fucking a guy in the ass isn't gay 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
Rindou: "FEM"
Draken: BOY???? MALE??? MAN??? DICK???
Rindou: ok who's gay now, weirdo🤨
Draken: kys (kill yourself)
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xmoonlitxdreamx · 6 months ago
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OW2 Junkrat & Roadhog Relationship (part 1)
Part 2: [click] Part 3: [click] Part 4: [click] Part 5: [click]
Hello! I’ve been curious to try to better understand what Junkrat and Roadhog’s relationship characterization is intended to be in OW2, so I’m gonna take the time to look at various voice lines and other media & try to provide various interpretations of these things.
I'll try to provide both positive and negative interpretations where I see fit, but be aware that I do ship roadrat so I have a bias for interpreting their relationship positively rather than negatively. Overwatch to me though is a franchise that is very loose with its characterization & allows for multiple interpretations of the same characters simultaneously, so I’ll try to be open-minded in the way that I interpret things. Some of these interpretations may also be based on stuff I’ve read in passing from other people here and on twitter, too, so if something looks familiar to what someone else said that’s why. (Apologies for the lack of citations;;)
This first post is looking at Junkrat's OW2 voice lines sourced from this wikia page. (These voice lines may not be up-to-date, and the page does not include many event-specific voice lines) Again, I’ll only be talking about lines that I think give insight into Junkrat and Roadhog’s relationship and how they think of each other.
Anyway! that's that. Interpretations/etc are under the cut!
“So, I was like, Roadhog, mate, just 'cause that's how you see it, doesn't mean that's how she sees it, right? But enough of my earbashing. Let's get out there.”
If taken as truthful: Roadhog goes to Junkrat for romantic advice
If taken as unreliable: Junkrat considers himself as someone who gives good romantic advice, and decided to use Roadhog in his made-up example
In either interpretation: Junkrat considers Roadhog a close enough friend that he talks about Roadhog to other people, and allegedly has personal conversations with Roadhog at some points. (Whether or not Junkrat and Roadhog actually had this conversation isn’t certain since imo Junkrat seems the type to talk out of his ass, but it shows that Junkrat thinks he and Roadhog are close enough that they could have this conversation.)
Unrelated to Junkrat and Roadhog's dynamic, but if taken as truthful this could suggest Roadhog has an interest in women; but if taken as unreliable, it doesn't suggest anything about Roadhog's sexuality
“I feel a sweet verse coming on. Roadhog, give me a beat. …Roadhog?”
Junkrat instinctively commands Roadhog to do things; suggestive of him perceiving himself as “leader” in their relationship.
Roadhog doesn’t listen to him here, so Roadhog likely doesn’t think of himself as subordinate to Junkrat.
This is also a very playful command, so to me it comes from a friendly/playful place that Junkrat wants to sing (rap?) with Roadhog. Could be taken further that Junkrat uses the guise of “I’m Roadhog’s boss and he’s my subordinate” as an excuse to do regular friend stuff with Roadhog.
“Things always go well when you’re working with Junkrat and Roadhog”
Junkrat thinks positively of his partnership with Roadhog, seems to trust him and have confidence when they’re together
“Such perfidy cannot go unanswered!” (respawn line when eliminated by Roadhog)
Perfidy definition from Google: deceitfulness, untrustworthiness
Basically he feels Roadhog is being disloyal to him, indicating that he thinks of Roadhog as someone who’s supposed to be his loyal partner in crime
Possibly suggests that he would seek revenge if Roadhog is disloyal to him, but as usual the delivery is kind of playful, so it might just be more indicative of him acting out this sort of “leader role” for fun
“Guess we know who’s really on top, don’t we?” (eliminating Roadhog)
Suggests that even Junkrat thinks that Roadhog is the one with the power in their partnership, but when push comes to shove Junkrat is the real leader between the two of them
this is innuendo, so this could also suggest that they have sex with each other
not an interpretation, but I actually thought they got rid of this voice line for OW2 so I was surprised to see it on this list lol
“Sorry, old friend..,” (eliminating Roadhog)
straightforward, Junkrat thinks of Roadhog as an old friend
“Bet you never thought you’d see pigs fly! *laughs*” (eliminating Roadhog with concussion mine)
uses pig-related nicknames/etc for Roadhog casually
“Another hogfight for the Cerulean Chancellor!” (eliminating Sigma using Gravitic Flux)
Thb I have no idea what’s going on here, I just thought it was weird he says hogfight. I googled hogfight to see if it’s a common idiom and nothing really came up. No idea if this actually has anything to do with Roadhog, feel free to enlighten me. (idk much abt Sigma)
“That’s what happens when you cross Junkrat and Roadhog!” (to ally Roadhog eliminating an enemy)
Again, suggests he thinks positive of their relationship, indicative that he sees the two of them as partners in crime
“Don’t die on me, you big lug!” (Roadhog downed in PVE)
Worries about Roadhog when he’s hurt; uses affectionate names for him
“They got Hoggie!” (Roadhog downed in PVE)
Same as above, though this nickname is specifically cutesy/endearing compared to the previous
“Who’s gonna revive the roadkill?” (Roadhog yet to be revived in PVE)
Along with affectionate nicknames, Junkrat also uses rude nicknames to refer to Roadhog
Taken in isolation I guess this could suggest that he thinks negatively of Roadhog, but given all the other voice lines where he seems to think positively of Roadhog this is more likely a teasing/playful way of referring to Roadhog
“At least I’m not a hog.” (along with “At least I’m not a rat.” from Roadhog)
Taken in isolation, could suggest that Junkrat doesn’t like Roadhog
Could suggest a sort of competitiveness between the two of them, or possibly that the two of them bicker a lot and don’t always see eye-to-eye
Junkrat: Me mate Roadhog says there's a fetching price on your noggin. Not as high as the one on ours, mind you...
Lifeweaver: He said all that?
Junkrat: It was more like, "Gonna turn that bloke in. Worth a heap, hurrrrrrr..."
Lifeweaver: Thank you for the warning. And the convincing impression.
Junkrat talks about Roadhog to other people
Junkrat hears Roadhog talk enough that he can do a pretty good impression of him—this is potentially indicative of how close they are considering Roadhog is known to not talk often.
Junkrat thinks of Roadhog as his friend (“My mate Roadhog”)
It’s kinda unclear if Roadhog said this stuff about Lifeweaver directly to Junkrat, or if it’s just something Roadhog was saying to himself. If it’s the latter, it’s possible to interpret that Roadhog mutters things to himself & Junkrat pays attention to it. This might suggest that Junkrat isn’t so self-centered when it comes to Roadhog and remembers things that Roadhog says. (kind of a stretch of an interpretation, but hey)
Unrelated but mysteriously, Roadhog seems to speak Australian English in Junkrat’s impression of him (he says “bloke,” which isn’t used in American English). This makes me think Roadhog is supposed to speaking Australian English (which makes sense given that he’s Australian) but in the game he just. Doesn’t. for some reason.
Lifeweaver: Are you and Roadhog together?
Junkrat: Do you ever see us apart?
Lifeweaver: No. I mean, are you a couple?
Junkrat: Yes! A couple of dashing rogues! Not sure what you're missing here...
From an outsider’s perspective (Lifeweaver), Junkrat and Roadhog seem like a couple.
Junkrat and Roadhog are always together (“Do you ever see us apart?” implies they’re never apart)
Tbh there’s a lot of ways to interpret Junkrat’s last line, but I think the most straightforward interpretation is just that he’s oblivious to what Lifeweaver is asking, possibly because of the phrasing. Other possible interpretations:
He doesn’t think of himself and Roadhog as a couple and likewise is oblivious to the fact that they seem like a couple to other people.
Junkrat doesn’t know what couples are (though I think this can be disproven by the fact that he’s “giving” Roadhog relationship advice in one of the voice lines I mentioned earlier)
Junkrat isn’t interested in Roadhog and is deliberately friend-zoning him here
Junkrat and Roadhog are a couple (since he answers “yes,”), but he backpedals because it’s supposed to be a secret
Junkrat’s just messing with Lifeweaver and being intentionally obtuse (unlikely imo, he seems earnest here)
Junkrat thinks of Roadhog as a “dashing rogue”
Roadhog: Say “bacon” one more time.
Junkrat: “Bacon, one more time.”
Junkrat likes to annoy Roadhog
Junkrat isn’t scared of annoying Roadhog
Reaper: You got a problem, Junker?
Roadhog: *chuckle*
Junkrat: I don’t do problems—just solutions!
Roadhog: *laughs* Yeah!
I can’t find the audio for this interaction on the wikia, so I’m not sure what the inflection is. Seems likely that Roadhog is sarcastically agreeing with Junkrat here, but I can’t tell.
Edit: I was told that Roadhog's "Yeah" sounds genuine in-game, so this could be an indication of Roadhog actually following along with Junkrat & engaging in their partners-in-crime dynamic
Edit 2: Roadhog's quotes page indicated that only one of the three dialogue options are triggered by Reaper's line, so Roadhog's "yeah" is most likely not in response to Junkrat's potential line
Summary of this section: It seems like Junkrat thinks positively of Roadhog, thinks of him as a friend, and considers the two of them to be partners in crime. He sometimes uses affectionate pet names for Roadhog, but also uses some crass nicknames with him. There may be a sense of competitiveness between the two of them, where Junkrat thinks of himself as leader while Roadhog thinks otherwise. Junkrat occasionally uses this imagined “superior/subordinate” status playfully as a way to engage in regular friendship activities with Roadhog.
The next section will be me looking at Roadhog's OW2 voicelines. iirc he doesn't mention Junkrat as much as Junkrat mentions him, so I anticipate it'll be shorter and probably less positive lol but anyway! Thanks for reading!
Part 2: [click] Part 3: [click] Part 4: [click] Part 5: [click]
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