#I don't believe in adding context to perfect things | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

devilishchaos · 1 year ago

Text

Wildin', on a boat on an island | Rúben Dias Imagine

Rating / genre: M (18+); smut, fluff

Pairings: Reader x Rúben Dias

Summary: Y/N and Rúben go on vacation..again.

Warnings: Explicit smut, explicit talk, oral (f receiving), unprotected vaginal penetration (don't do it!!! stay safe!), hair grabbing, use of pet names "baby", "babe", "princesa"

AN: manifesting this photos energy <3 enjoy x

Word Count: 5 871 words

This is a work of fiction. The story, names, characters and incidents either are product or the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

Your eyes narrowed slightly as you analyzed the shirtless brunette standing in front of you, your arms were crossed firmly across your chest. His eyebrows were raised as he awaited your answer, his back pressed against the kitchen island.

“You are suggesting we don’t sleep together for the vacation..why?” you questioned, waiting for a decent explanation.

“Because..my parents room is literally 30 centimeters from ours.” he explained quickly as he shrugged his shoulders with ease “AND I didn’t say that we can’t sleep in the same room! Just no funny business while in it..”

For more context, Rúben had asked you to accompany him on a little trip, on this beautiful boat on his family vacation. And has decided that now - an hour till you guys go on the boat - is the perfect time to let you know he didn’t want to have sex with you.

“It’s not like that has stopped you before?!?” you questioned him, with some suspicion still.

“Babe..in the house is different. It’s a big house. Practically no one can hear us.” he answered with obviousness, it was a simple but logical answer “Listen, I’m going to go upstairs to bring your luggage down and put it in the car, while you cool off a bit, yeah?”

You already knew it was probably one of the worst ideas he'd ever had and considering it's impulsive, spontaneous Rúben we're talking about..it was indeed terrible.

"No." you replied simply, with no further explanation or motives as to why.

Rúben looked actually taken aback by your answer, not being used to getting a ‘no’, not even from you. Though, he knew the only reason you'd said ‘no’ was to contradict him, and you, having no apparent reason to refuse, was an open invitation for Rúben to keep insisting.

“Come on, it'll only be three days out.” Rúben insisted, using the nicest voice he could “Out there in the nice sea, with perfect weather, with food, drinks and a nice AC system... yeah? Plus - the boat has a double jacuzzi! Yeah?” he questioned you with a raised eyebrow, and at that, you shut your mouth.

“I-”

“Uh huh, exactly.”

“I can live without it!”

“Oh, come on Y/N..” Rúben sighed heavily, closing his eyes for a few seconds, as if recharging his patience before adding “I'll give you whatever you want, whatever it is, I'll get it for you..after those three days. The only condition is - no sex on the boat."

That really got you thinking.

“I can’t believe you. You sound really confident in yourself right now! Why do you think it is going to be me that is going to initiate something with you first? But you’re lucky that I love João, Bernardete and Ivan and would love to spend time with them. Have a great day Mr. Dias.” and with that you went inside the house to get your luggage because you are an independent young lady, who is not going to let things play out like her boyfriend wants to.

In no time at all, the five of you were out. Rúben told you it would take a couple of hours to reach the perfect spot and if everything went well the fun on the boat could start in the early hours of the next day.

It didn't seem like a bad plan, so you saw no reason to complain, it seemed fair. And if it wasn't so many days together you could easily ignore him.

Rúben had kept his word about the ship's commodities, there were all kinds of snacks, drinks, and he had brought other kinds of substances. It was actually very comfortable and a part of you was glad you'd accepted to join them. But you still weren’t able to relax knowing your man didn’t wanna sleep with you.

To say you were pissed at him was an understatement, but you were at that point of anger where you didn't even bother to show it, you immediately resorted to ignoring Rúben, which was very hard to do considering the fact that he was walking basically naked around you, only wearing his stupid short shorts that you wanted to rip off of him so bad.

You had had your doubts about it at first, but now you were more than grateful that you had packed your swimsuits. Since you were giving Rúben the cold shoulder, you would have to find another way to entertain yourself; and being that you were in the sea and the weather is so nice, the most logical and comfortable thing to do would be to lie down on your towel, put on your sunglasses on and at least get a good tan out of it.

Rúben, on the other hand, was annoyed with himself. He knew it was among the possibilities that you would get mad at him and do just what you are doing now, which is ignoring him completely.

He hadn't seen you since last night, when you two had an argument during dinner about sleeping in separate rooms, which you insisted on. Since he didn’t wanna have sex with you - you didn’t want to tempt him..yet.

Rúben felt his heart almost leap out of his chest as soon as he saw you come out of the booth, in your red swimsuit, the one that accentuated every curve of your body. You'd worn it around him before, and the last time you did, he fucked you in the pool.

You seemed not to have seen him, or if you had, then you did a very good job of pretending he wasn't there. Once you knew you were within his range of view and he could see you perfectly well, you bent over to lay your towel on the floor of the boat, feeling the fabric of your bathing suit slide slightly over your butt. It wasn't much, but just enough.

Rúben’s jaw tightened so bad he feared his teeth would crack, to keep from letting out a groan at the sight, he closed his eyes shut and gripped the edge of the table until his knuckles turned white; focusing on what Ivan was telling him, trying to get the image of you, bent over a few feet in front of him in nothing but your bathing suit, out of his mind.

Rúben knew you were doing it on purpose, you knew how much he liked that bathing suit on you. But today? Right now? You were playing very dirty games with his head.

No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't take his eyes off you. The way your skin glowed under the sun, how well your swimsuit fit and the fact that you were doing this to provoke him, caused his shorts to feel too tight all of a sudden.

Rúben didn't even know what to do with himself, so he decided to go take a cold bath; he wouldn't give you the satisfaction of messing with his head like that.

He excused himself and exited the small cabin, leaving Ivan, and you lifted your head to see him walk away. Rúben looked a little uncomfortable and you noticed how he slightly tugged the front of his shorts as he walked.

"What, do I make you nervous, Rúbes?" you teased in a loud voice, causing him to turn around and flip you off. Without saying anything else, Rúben entered another door and slammed it shut.

And with that, a little victory smile appeared on your lips.

Eventually, tanning got boring. You looked down at your own body and lifted the edge of your swimsuit slightly, the tan lines were just the way you liked them, on point. Full of satisfaction, you gathered your things and decided to go back inside, maybe to take a bath and eat something.

You entered quietly, not wanting to attract anybody's attention. You walked down the hallway to the bathroom. Just as you grabbed the bathroom doorknob to open it - the door opened. Out of the bathroom came Rúben, with nothing but a towel tied around his hips. You stopped dead in your tracks in the hallway at the sight, which you couldn't deny was very good. The towel was wrapped around Rúben’s hips so low that his prominent V-line was visible to a rather dangerous point, one you didn't want to let your eyes get to.

He was shirtless obviously, so you had a perfect view of his defined torso and muscular arms, some water droplets still rolled down his body, making a path from his chest, down his abdomen and getting lost under his towel.

His hair was still wet, framing his face perfectly. His dark eyes were fixed on you, and you realized, too late already, there was a little smile on his lips, prompted by the way you were eyefucking him.

“What, do I make you nervous, princesa?” Rúben questioned you, using the same condescending tone and smirk you had earlier, as he took a step closer to you.

You genuinely felt your knees weaken at his voice and the way he looked, but you were too proud to let him know that, so you simply shrugged.

“Come closer and maybe I'll tell you.” you teased with a low tone, letting your eyes travel down his body.

Rúben’s smirk only grew and you thought that finally you two were on the same page, thinking about the same thing, and more importantly, that it would happen. He took a confident step towards you, so this way he was towering over you, his chest barely inches away from yours, his lips basically hovering over yours.

You placed both hands on his body, letting them travel from his abs all the way to his chest, causing him to bite his lip at the feeling. Rúben leant down even more, his lips grazing with yours, breaths mixing and skin touching.

And then..

You pushed him out of the way and locked yourself in the bathroom. By doing that, provoking Rúben in that way and then putting a door between the two of you - you had started a silent game, in which you were provoking each other in an obvious way, waiting to see who is going to give in first. And you were determined it is not going to be you.

After hours of playing tease, any slight contact or brush from Rúben’s skin against yours had you biting your lip to silence a sound and any look you gave Rúben with your bedroom eyes had him on the verge of jumping your bones.

The staring game got a little too heavy for Rúben, so he stood up from the booth and walked to the kitchen, pulling out a cold bottle of water to refresh himself. You knew you couldn't let him get away with it, at least not without trying, so you stood up and walked to the kitchen as well, if he asked, then being dinner time would be a perfect excuse.

Rúben heard you walk into the kitchen, but paid no mind, deciding to focus solely on his water, placing a hand on the kitchen island and letting his head hang low. Funny enough, the drawer where pans are kept is right where Rúben is, by his left hand, and sure as hell you wouldn't ask anything from him. Which left you with only one choice.

You walked to where he stood, which he noticed as he turned his head sideways to look at you, and right when he took a step back, you found the perfect opportunity to slip right between him and the kitchen island, your body grinding on him, in all the right places.

The sound of Rúben’s breathing picking up gave you a sense of victory, as you remained in front of him and bent slightly to take out the pan you needed, only to walk away right when you felt him harden behind you and the ghost of his hand over your hip.

He really thought he had you. Again.

Your smile of victory didn't disappear, not even when the stove wouldn't turn on and you had to resort to chopping fruit and hoping that was enough to rid your hunger. Now is when Rúben found the perfect opportunity to tease you back, seeing as you were completely distracted while cutting fruit. He slowly walked back into the kitchen, making sure you couldn't hear him. You were completely clueless to his presence, even when he stood right behind you.

However, as soon as Rúben took another step closer, you did become aware of his presence. Very.

“Oh, don't mind me.” he mumbled in your ear.

“Rúben, what are you doing?” you asked, pretending to be completely unbothered, while the reality is that you're screaming on the inside. His chest was pressed to your back, one of his hands had found its way to your hips, and his breath tingled in your ear.

And right there was when he reached out to grab a glass, which was on the cabinet above your head. The reality is that he didn't have to stretch to reach the glass, it was just a matter of raising his arm. But where was the fun in that?

As he stretched, his body pressed even closer against yours, you could feel him hard against you, his breath now in your ear. And in an attempt to avoid his lips, you bent over, a move that only served in Rúben’s favor, causing you to bite your lip in an attempt to silence the moan that would come from your lips.

You both were thinking the same thing. Of just how easy it would be for him to take you right there and then.

But you wouldn't give up just yet, no sir, you still had one ace up your sleeve. Which is why you picked up your fruit tray and slid out from the right space between the bar and Rúben’s body.

Normally, you wouldn't care if Rúben decided to just watch you eat instead of eating something himself, but right now it had you on edge.

You and his mother were sitting on the couch in the booth, while Rúben and Ivan were sitting opposite of you, their dad fishing on the other end of the boat. Rúben was sitting on the seat in front of you, his legs spread slightly, his hands on his thighs and his eyes fixed on you. He was basically manspreading, occasionally lifting his hips from the chair to ‘get comfortable’, but you weren't stupid.

“Are you done flexing your muscles?” you asked him boredly, raising an eyebrow at him.

He opened his mouth to say something, but closed again as you stood up, his eyes followed your hand closely, especially when you drove your fingers to your lips and sucked the remaining fruit juice off them. The sight almost made him roll his eyes, but not in annoyance.

“I'm going to the jacuzzi.” you announced, letting your eyes travel over him. “You continue doing that.”

Even though it had not been an open or direct invitation, you knew Rúben had understood the innuendo.

You hurried to the jacuzzi, taking off your clothes as the water heated up, you poured the bubble soap while letting your hair down, knowing that Rúben wouldn't be long in coming, although he wasn't hot on your heels to disguise how desperate he was, you knew he was coming for you.

As you stared at the steaming, bubbly water, a wicked idea found its way to your mind.

Meanwhile, Rúben paced back and forth in the hallway, running his hands through his hair repeatedly, especially when he stopped and had that urge to open the bathroom door where he knew you were.

You're just a door away and what's holding him back is his pride. Knowing that if he opens that door, he's admitting his need for you. Proving that chasing after you is more important than his pride.

He cursed himself for what felt the longest time before giving in and opening the bathroom door. The first thing he saw was steam. Lots of it. It made him squint his eyes while they trailed over the place in search of you.

His eyes fell on the jacuzzi, it was filled with small bubbles, the room smelt like you, white musk scent surrounding you. And there you were, your back pressed against the side of the jacuzzi, arms spread over the edge, the bubbly water covering your body, stopping right below your collarbones, just atop of your chest.

His mind automatically went places, but Rúben kept his thoughts at bay as he took off his shirt without a word. You did nothing but stare at him, your eyes following his every move, from the way he gripped the edge of his shirt, to the way he slid it off his body and his torso came into view.

Rafe took a step closer, but he felt something soft under his foot, so he looked down. And what did he find?

Your swimsuit.

At first he didn't process entirely what it meant, but then his eyes widened.

You were naked.

In the jacuzzi that's just a couple of steps away from him.

And he was just..standing there like an idiot? Rúben was embarrassed of himself.

A soft giggle escaped your lips when you noticed how flustered Rúben suddenly got, he actually struggled while taking off his shorts and if you hadn't been so amused by the view, you would have offered to help.

Eventually he stopped fumbling with its ties and right when he pulled it down his hips, you looked away. Your tongue glided over your teeth as you felt the temptation to look, but you were stronger than that.

“Enjoying the jacuzzi you said you could live without?” Rúben asked in a calm tone as he got in it, sitting by your right side.

“Very much.” you assured, running your hand through the water, moving the bubbles slightly, you really had no intention other than to distract yourself from how nervous you were, still, Rúben tried to see through the bubbles.

He couldn't handle himself anymore, he had denied himself of you for so long that he wanted you now. Told himself he was crazy. But now that he has you in front of him - he will do anything to have you.

And an idea popped up in his mind. He knew this would be pathetic, lame even, but it would work.

As you both did nothing but enjoy the hot tub and tried to ignore each other's bodies, Rúben discreetly slid his hand to the side control panel of the hot tub. Although he would never admit it, he spends so much time in the hot tub that he learned the controls by heart. So he knew exactly which buttons to push to disable two of the hot tub jets, the ones on your side, for that matter.

Your state of relaxation was interrupted as soon as you stopped feeling the hot water flowing on your side of the jacuzzi, the vibrations had stopped and you no longer felt the soft massages on your skin.

You raised your head and opened your eyes, noticing that indeed, the water stopped on your side. “What the..”

“What's wrong?” Rúben asked, his eyes closed as he did his best to hide a little smirk.

“The water just..stopped?” you replied in confusion, not understanding why he was so calm.

“Oh, that's bad. My side is just fine.” he replied simply, opening his eyes.

You rolled your eyes at his disinterested tone. You couldn't believe that you had actually gone out of your way to plan all this and he couldn't even stop getting on your nerves for a second.

Utterly done with his bullshit, you slowly moved to the little steps that led out of the hot tub, the last thing you wanted was to slip and embarrass yourself.

However, before you could even reach them, you felt long fingers wrapping around your wrist, his skin was soft and warm due to the hot bubbly water. You turned to look at him, doing your best to keep your eyes focused on his.

“Come closer.” his voice was calm, his fingers softly tugged your wrist; as if wanting to pull you closer but not quite to make you uncomfortable.

You complied to his request and walked slowly to where he sat, the bubbles doing all the work and covering your body from his. You kept getting closer, Rúben slowly opened his legs, so you could stand between them.

The feeling of the skin of his thighs against yours was your cue to stop, knowing that if you took one step closer, you'd feel him against you.

His eyes bore on yours. The hazel color of his eyes was darkened by the lust running through his body, his pupils were dilated, his lips plump and red. He was one hell of a handsome man.

Your faces were inches away from each other, but neither of you would yield to the temptation.

You bit your lip slightly as soon as you felt Rúben’s large hands resting on your hips, the grip was firm, showing he wasn't hesitating.

Testing the waters, you took a step closer and he let you, the grip on your hips becoming firmer and more secure, you could even say you felt him pulling you into his body slightly.

Keeping eye contact, Rúben’s hand began to slide lightly, brushing your hip with his fingertips. His hand moved down to your thigh, where he caressed your thigh with his fingertips, drawing imaginary circles, which moved closer and closer to the center of your legs.

Knowing exactly what he was doing, you felt fire in the pit of your stomach. You wanted him. And you wanted him now. But you also didn't want to give him the satisfaction. Maybe after all you were as stubborn as he claimed you were.

You motioned to move your leg, and immediately, Rúben took a hold of your thigh, stopping you. A smirk appeared on your lips. Without saying anything, you yielded to his touch and moved even closer, putting your leg over his thigh and quickly bringing the other leg up as well, straddling him.

The direct contact of your skin with Rúben’s, your core brushing against his dick..made him let out an agitated sigh right in your ear.

And you would have teased him about it, but the truth is that the contact of his hard dick against your body almost made you moan. He was right under you, all it took was for you to raise slightly and for him to align himself.

Ignoring how much you wanted to grind on him, you put your arms around his shoulders, wrapping your arms around his neck in the process, moving even closer, your chest pressed against his and your chin resting on his shoulder, wanting to enjoy the warm water a while longer before the inevitable happened.

Rúben’s arms wrapped around your body, your breasts pressed against his chest, your pussy brushing just the right places on his dick. If this is the game you wanted to play, then Rúben would be just as good at it.

He lifted his hips slightly and at that you couldn't help but let out a gasp, which you prayed he hadn't heard, but he did and it only fed his ego.

As his fingertips caressed your spine, Rúben moved your hair from your shoulders to get better access and brought his lips to your neck. He started with innocent kisses, little brushes of his lips against your skin, while his fingertips caressed your skin.

However, he was determined to break you. He brought his lips to the small spot below your ear, where he sucked, receiving an audible moan from you. One of his hands had slid down your back until it ended at your left asscheek, which he squeezed and used to push your body against his, causing you to grind on him.

“Fuck..” you mumbled, throwing your head back out of mere instinct.

He had so many dirty comments to make, but he decided to concentrate on you. Since you had thrown your head back, he had more access to your neck. He brought his lips to your skin again, starting to leave little bites and kisses all over, while one of his hands traveled to your breasts, his fingers taking one of your nipples and giving it a twist.

At this you squirmed slightly on top of him, your hips moving against his, rubbing his dick in such a perfect way that it made him growl against your skin.

“You like that, meu amor?” he murmured against your skin, voice husky “Want me to do it again?”

“Yes.” you mumbled breathlessly.

His fingers moved deftly between your legs, as you grasped his jaw and moved his head to the side, so that you could have access to his neck and an efficient way to quiet the sounds he would elicit from you.

His index finger slipped between your folds, while his thumb searched for your clit until he found it, and began to give circular notions. You accidentally left a little bite on his neck, which was welcomed by Rúben , as he started to speed up his thumb and slid his middle finger inside you.

“Rúbenn..” you murmured, your walls automatically tightening around his finger.

“Does this feel good, princesa?” he murmured in your ear as his thumb accelerated his movements, he slid his ring finger in as well, your walls clenching at his voice "Oh it does, you're already clenching around my fingers."

Now he had two fingers inside you, which he began to move in a come hither motion, hitting your sweet spot instantly, the one he had found in a matter of seconds.

“Oh, fuuuck, Rúb-”

He could feel you, how your walls clenched around his fingers so tightly it was hard for him to move them, your kisses on his neck had become sloppy and wet and your eyes were closed. Just when you felt you would reach the tip of ecstasy, Rúben pulled his fingers out of you.

You were about to yell at him, but he spoke first, taking your jaw with one of his hands, fixing his eyes on yours.

“I want to make you cum on my dick, yeah?”

And you swore you could've come right there. Just by his words.

“Yeah?” he questioned again, making you realize it had been more of a way to get your permission.

“Yeah.” you nodded your head eagerly and that was all he needed.

Rúben wrapped his arms around you and stood up, you instinctively wrapped your legs around his torso, biting your lip in anticipation for what was about to come.

Rúben knew the boat like the back of his hand, so in a matter of no time, both of you were in his room. Rúben placed you down on his bed, not caring in the least that you were wetting it.

He was soon close to you again, his lips on your skin. Your breathing started to become erratic, unable to control yourself in the face of the new sensations. His kisses traveled all over your neck, part of your shoulders and even on your jaw.

Without a word, Rúben grabbed you with moderate force by the jaw and caught your lips with his immediately. You lost yourself in the kiss completely, the sensation of his lips against yours stoking the fire within you even more.

Unable to stay still and wanting to discover your whole body, Rúben began to leave kisses and little bites on your neck. You tried to grab his face to bring him back to your lips, but as soon as you tried, he pulled away from you, took your wrists and put them against the bed, his face was above yours, the room was barely being illuminated by the light that was filtering through the blinds, so you couldn't see much, only the shadow of his features.

“You want me?” he asked over your lips, his voice hoarser than usual and his breathing was rapid.

“I want you. So bad.”

You saw the shadow of a victorious smile on his lips and felt them against yours again, he put both hands holding your wrists above your head, and held both of your wrists with one hand, freeing his other one.

His kisses began to descend again, with a slowness that clearly had the sole purpose of driving you crazy. You lifted your hips off the bed so you could feel some more of him, while Rúben took advantage of this and positioned himself between your legs with ease.

He stopped kissing you momentarily, you could feel his breath on your skin and without warning, he returned his hand in between your thighs and now pushed three fingers inside you, while his thumb returned to your clit, you inevitably ended up letting out a moan, as his fingers had hit the right spot again. Having located the spot already, he began to move his fingers faster and deeper, curving them from time to time, accelerating the speed of his thumb as well.

His lips went lower and lower, until his head was between your thighs and your hand was lost in his hair. His lips concentrated on your clit, sucking and circling it with his tongue, making you let out an erotic moan that you were ashamed of, because of how loud it had been.

His hand kept up that incredible rhythm, but what made you almost climax was the feeling after he sucked on your clit and bit down lightly.

“Rú- Rúben..I'm gonna-”

That was all he needed to know to remove his hand, he would keep up with his word. As soon as he moved his hand away from your pussy, you immediately felt the emptiness, but you were too busy getting back to normal to complain.

Rúben brought his fingers covered with your wetness to his lips and licked them clean, the sight of that, combined with the ‘mmm’ that he let out, was mouth watering.

Rúben pulled you closer to him, so that your legs were over his thighs, he placed his hands on the sides of your head. His dick rubbed against your entrance, which brought gasps to both of your lips.

He leaned over you and you could hear his breathing fast and heavy in your ear, it was almost like he was waiting for something.

“What's wrong?” you asked. “Are you doubt- ”

You didn't get to finish saying the sentence, because he entered you with a quick movement of his hips, making you moan immediately, it took a few seconds to get used to the sensation of having him inside you. It always did. No matter how many times you've slept together, he is just so big.

He stayed still for a few seconds, letting out hoarse mumbles of how good you felt, directly into your ear. Once you felt comfortable, you tightened your walls around him, which made him let out a grunt and start moving his hips against yours.

You brought your hands to his neck and pulled his face to yours, bringing your lips together in a desperate kiss, as his hips moved incessantly, one of your hands tangled in his hair and as if on reflex, he put a hand around your neck, squeezing the sides lightly, something that made you moan into his lips.

“How could you do this to me? All that teasing..I’m not made from steel..” he whispered in your ear.

“Rúben, oh my God..”

“I love you so much.”

His words and the movement of his hips made your eyes roll “Don't stop, babe..please.”

He pulled his face away from yours and placed his weight on the arm he had placed at the side of your head, speeding up his movements. You wrapped your legs around his waist to deepen things.

You noticed that he started to slow down, but his movements still had depth. You knew he was doing it so he wouldn't tire quickly, but maybe you could help. You used a considerable amount of strength to be able to turn you both around, ending up on top of him, while he looked at you with his lower lip between his teeth.

Just to tease him further, you slipped his dick out of you and moved away, your body hovering over his thighs. He sat down on the bed, waiting for you to do something, but you only smirked at him.

Rúben sat there while stroking himself and being done with your attitude, grabbed you by the waist and pulled you back to him, starting to fill your breasts with wet kisses and hickeys, biting your nipples from time to time, while you put your legs around him, slowly positioning yourself on top of him, again.

You knew you wouldn’t last too long, anyway.

“Stop teasing me, princesa.”

“Where’s the fun in that?”

He used the grip he had on your hips and pulled you down, entering you again, a hoarse moan came from his lips. You pushed him down by the chest so he’d lay down and began to move on top of him, in circles and up and down while his hands were on your hips and yours on his chest.

You knew those moves were only satisfying you, as you moved as you needed to, and Rúben was quick to notice that. The grip he had on your hips began to tighten, a sign that he was getting desperate. Until he finally sat down in a rush, and began to move you at the pace he wanted, as the hand he kept on your hip guaranteed him control.

“You're so stubborn, you know that?” he emphasized every word with a hip thrust.

“Fuck, fu- fuck, Rú- Rúb-..” you weren't even able to say his name, or speak at all.

You placed one hand on his shoulder and another on his neck, starting to move faster. He left sloppy kisses on your chest and you scratched his back, sometimes even left bites on his shoulder to stifle moans, especially when he murmured things in your ear, along the lines of ‘you're mine’, ‘this pussy feels so good’, ect.

It didn't take long before you two began to lose rhythm, his movements were erratic and your speed had slowed. Until he finally came inside you, seeing the way his eyes closed tightly, as heavy breaths came from between his pink lips along with the “Fuck, Y/N, you feel like heaven..” he mumbled, was what made you climax too.

While you both came down from your highs, there was nothing but silence, Rúben was still inside you and remained like that, after he turned you over, collapsed on top of you and you wrapped your arms around his body, both of you falling asleep without another word.

#ruben dias #ruben gato dias #ruben dias fic #ruben dias imagine #ruben dias imagines #ruben dias x reader #ruben dias x you #ruben dias x y/n #ruben dias smut #ruben dias fluff #football imagine #football imagines

702 notes · View notes

jmdbjk · 6 months ago

Text

Make assumptions and get the wrong idea. Please. That's what he said.

My brain listening to Who:

(on the beat of course)

Sorry for the brain porn but that's how my brain feels when I hear Jimin's vocals. The runs, the ad libs, the highs, lows, and in-betweens, the breathing, especially the breathing. Especially in the 4K version of the Tonight Show performance posted on BangtanTV.

For many years now I've been wanting to hear Jimin let 'er rip on a big song and FINALLY! FINALLY!

FINALLY!

I started to jot down my interpretations of Who but you know what? no one needs yet another analyzation of the song, the lyrics, the MV, the belt sharing, the ... but one thing I need to point out... Ryan's Vintage Clothes is definitely a nod to Ryan Gosling don't you think? (just kidding sorta)

A ton of people have given their dissertations on what they think it all means. All I know is Jimin has that MAGIC and he is FLEXING big time.

This is my favorite shot from the most recent promo image drop on Weverse. I have always dissented when Jimin would say his left side is his best side. No sir. It's your right side.

The entire Muse album is a complete mind-bender for me. He came up with the ideas and themes and what he couldn't do on his own, he explained to all the people helping him in order to create his vision...

PDogg said this in an interview: "I also believe the experience of collaborating with various producers and songwriters in LA and NY gave Jimin the opportunity to further explore his limitless potential."

Minseong Kim (Performance Director): "When we were working together, I saw Jimin putting a lot of thought into delivering the song's choreography as a visual art form. He uses his detailed expressions to convey various artistic elements in the performance beyond simply presenting stylish, energetic choreography. He is always devoted to emphasizing the artistic elements of the performance by forming a visceral connection to it. I believe that his commitment and passion has shaped Jimin's unique style and allows him to deliver one of the most exciting performances in pop music."

and:

"We had countless discussions about how to visually articulate the story and message of the song through the performance on a larger scale, in a manner that's true to the song's title Who. When the choreography was completed Jimin was utterly pleased with the performance having all the elements he had wished to incorporate."

You can read the entire VMAGAZINE article here.

Regarding the other songs on the album, in MiniMoniMusic Exchange, Jimin mentioned that Rebirth was his favorite track. I do love it too, Jimin. The heartbeat, the poignancy. Perfection.

And I have to compare Be Mine to Seven. In Jungkook's Seven, the explicit version was so very literal and so in your face it was funny, even the MV added to the unserious vibe of it all.

But in Jimin's, Be Mine, he has probably the most erotic lyric I've ever heard coming out of the mouth of a Tannie: "... a hot island, a party with just the two of us; I know what you want and baby I want the same; love ‘til the morning; we just keep fallin’... baby come, baby come; show me what, show me what love is, yeah yeah; melt me hot, hot, hot quickly"

I am streaming all the versions of all the songs and album. I absolutely love it.

Now that I got that out of my system...

It's been about a year (??!?!?) since Jungkook's Only Fans debut live stream. Time is flying.

We are anticipating gaining more context soon surrounding exactly what went down between them the prior two weeks to this live and what did Jimin mean when he said he "can handle it? (Are you sure you wanna know?)

There is a high possibility we might get some jikook carpool karaoke.

The main trailer drops Monday. Hold on to your ... whatever it is you hold on to when you get shook because I'm sure it'll be another earthquake on the timeline.

#Movin’ comin’ lovin’#yeah yeah yeah #jimin x muse #are you sure?#jimin #jungkook #jikook #kookmin

84 notes · View notes

i-love-your-light · 1 year ago

Text

too many thoughts on the new hbomberguy video not to put them anywhere so:

with every app trying to turn into the clock app these days by feeding you endless short form content, *how many* pieces of misinformation does the average person consume day to day?? thinking a lot about how tons of people on social media go largely unquestioned about the information they provide just because they speak confidently into the camera. if you're scrolling through hundreds of pieces of content a day, how many are you realistically going to have the time and will to check? i think there's an unfortunate subconscious bias in liberal and leftist spaces that misinformation is something that is done only by the right, but it's a bipartisan issue babey. everybody's got their own agendas, even if they're on "your side". *insert you are not immune to propaganda garfield meme*

and speaking of fact checking, can't help but think about how much the current state of search engines Sucks So Bad right now. not that this excuses ANY of the misinformation at all, but i think it provides further context as to why these things become so prevalent in creators who become quick-turnaround-content-farms and cut corners when it comes to researching. when i was in high school and learning how to research and cite sources, google was a whole different landscape that was relatively easy to navigate. nowadays a search might give you an ad, a fake news article, somebody's random blog, a quora question, and another ad before actually giving you a relevant verifiable source. i was googling a question about 1920s technology the other day (for a fanfiction im writing lmao) and the VERY FIRST RESULT google gave me was some random fifth grader's school assignment on the topic???? like?????? WHAT????? it just makes it even harder for people to fact-check misinformation too.

going off the point of cutting corners when it comes to creating content, i can't help but think about capitalism's looming influence over all of this too. again, not as an excuse at all but just as further environmental context (because i really believe the takeaway shouldn't be "wow look how bad this one individual guy is" but rather "wow this is one specific example of a much larger systemic issue that is more pervasive than we realize"). a natural consequence of the inhumanity of capitalism is that people feel as if they have to step on or over eachother to get to 'the top'. if everybody is on this individualistic american dream race to success, everyone else around you just looks like collateral. of course then you're going to take shortcuts, and you're going to swindle labor and intellectual property from others, because your primary motivation is accruing capital (financial or social) over ethics or actual labor.

i've been thinking about this in relation to AI as well, and the notion that some people want to Be Artists without Doing Art. they want to Have Done Art but not labor through the process. to present something shiny to the world and benefit off of it. they don't want to go through the actual process of creating, they just want a product. Easy money. Winning the game of capitalism.

i can't even fully fault this mentality- as someone who has been struggling making barely minimum wage from art in one of the most expensive cities in america for the past two years, i can't say that i haven't been tempted on really difficult occasions to act in ways that would be morally bad but would give me a reprieve from the constant stress cycle of "how am i going to pay for my own survival for another month". the difference is i don't give in to those impulses.

tl;dr i hope that people realize that instead of this just being a time to dogpile on one guy (or a few people), that it's actually about a larger systemic problem, and the perfect breeding grounds society has created for this kind of behavior to largely go unchecked!!!

#hbomberguy #james somerton #idk if any of this is coherent it just needed to get out of me #misinformation #capitalism is hell!

238 notes · View notes

livingformintyoongi · 1 month ago

Text

— Small section to thank my dearest @parkitrighthere for tagging me, you are the sweetest, I adore you, *kiss your beautiful brain*.

— So, uhm, first of all, I really didn't expect to get this far with this blog (I mean, I already have 460 something followers and it's like, I don't know, so unrealistic, thank you so much to each of you for your love <3). It's not the first blog I have on tumblr, but it's the first ql that I really put a lot of effort into it (I lasted more than three months, it's an accomplishment, believe me). I really love writing and publishing my little random ideas here, and I'm glad that at least for some people it can be useful to enjoy their free time ^^ now that I'm on vacation I've tried to let go as much as possible, because I'll probably disappear again in March (who knew that studying Architecture was so overwhelming?). Until then, I hope I can continue writing for you as I have done so far, and again, thank you very much to all of you who read and leave messages, you really are a love, you deserve to find a bill of the highest value in one of your pockets 🫂

-> MOST POPULAR FIC OF 2024:

First Time | Min Yoongi | 1,083 Notes | May 12th 2024

-> LAST, LONGER & FAVORITE FIC OF 2024 (not sorry at all lol):

Echoes Of Love | Kim Taehyung | 53 Notes | December 20th 2024

FICS RECS OF 2024:

-> First of all, I want to add that I already had a list of recommendations before, all with small comments (you can see it here). I mention it because it never hurts to recommend those wonderful fics.

-> Dear Mate! [KTH] By @parkitrighthere | I really felt very tense reading it, like, too much, it was so exciting! I felt the conflict inside, like, for a second I really questioned whether or not it was okay to just give into Tae (because of the whole incident thing at the beginning and everything), but the scene was so well put together and I just Kjsdjksdjjjswks I gave in, I was oc, I literally gave in to her 🕴.

-> A human Touch [KTH] By @snackhobi | This was a series (two chapters, one drabble) and I literally started and finished it yesterday, it was so addictive to read! I really enjoyed with the writing of the author, it was just majestic,I could feel myself perfectly in the scene. Also Tae was so adorable, he could breathe and I was already screeching on the floor because unfortunately the character doesn't exist here and there are no dysfunctional androids in the world :(

-> Always The Bridesmaid [KTH] By @kookingtae | This is an adaptation of 27 Dresses and GOD, HOW I LOVED IT. I watched the movie before so I could get a bit of context (because I hadn't seen it in a while) and then I read it and, I swear, it was so fascinating, I loved it so much more than the movie (it's different, believe me). The author added her own touch without taking away from the essence and she did it so wonderfully, I really highly recommend it if you have free time and want to read something a little more light-hearted! (Although it has angst most of the time, if you love angst, you'll like it).

-> Ain't No Sunshine [KTH] By @whimsical-ness | Another adaptation, this time of Notting Hill. In this version, the actor is Tae and the protagonist is the one who attends the book store. Honestly, I also liked it a lot more than the movie (I found it funnier, I got more attached to the people... I don't know, but I liked it more :>). It was a pretty fun read, and again, the author did an amazing job! (It also has angst, obviously, but as an angst lover this is like, I don't know, perfect).

-> Taste Of Love [KTH] By @vopegist | In a nutshell: the sweetest thing you'll read all month. It's super fluffy and super beautiful and peaceful and wonderful and spectacular. You can really feel a warmth in your chest every time you read it, and it's so easy to get attached to both characters! (It has a sequel, which I highly recommend).

-> What do you do when you have just been cheated on? By @1uvtae | This is, literally, my favorite of favorites. I read it months ago and I can still feel the anxiety coursing through my veins when I remember it. It's an amazing story, Taehyung is a character that I consider too charismatic and I really understand why oc fell in love with him (who doesn't? Look at him). I don't even know if I can describe it in words, it really is something you must watch to understand. I highly recommend it (remember to read the warnings!).

TOP STATS OF 2024:

-> Total Notes: 6,4k

-> Total posts counted: 203

-> Total words written: 72.3 k

-> Tops muses: Taehyung & Yoongi 🩷🩵 (Honorable mention to Taylor because my inspiration comes from her music).

TOP TEN TRACKS OF 2024:

-> Who - Jimin

-> Guilty As Sin? - Taylor Swift

-> Hate You - Jungkook

-> Yes or No - Jungkook

-> loml - Taylor Swift

-> Good Luck, Babe - Chappell Roan

-> Maroon - Taylor Swift

-> How did it end? - Taylor Swift

-> Die with a smile - Lady Gaga, Bruno Mars

-> Love wins all - IU

GOALS FOR 2025

-> First, I think I would love for my college career not to drag on all my time and to be able to make good progress on everything I have planned (it's too many things for one person, but the only one to blame is me, so...)

-> Finish BOTN before the end of 2025, the series is super planned in my head, but I'm so scattered and so distracted that I always pass on writing it down :(

-> I wish I could write a one-shot over 30k... but it's so hard for me to write long fics, I always feel that the transition from one scene to another is bad for me, so I end up splitting it into parts.

-> Finish the 7 requests I have pending. Most of them are smut and lately my brain has been super negative to the idea of writing spicy stuff, I'm out of practice? Probably.

-> Socializing more with you guys. I really love the tumblr community in general, and I ADORE talking to anons/moots about everything and nothing at the same time, but I'm pretty introverted and don't really know how to bring up conversation topics 🫠.

-> I'd like to get better at making banners, there are some out there that are soooo cute, they make me envious (the good kind), I'd like to learn how to make some like that in the near future!

-> And I think that's all (? Personally I feel that I ask too little :].

Before I finish, I want to clarify that I'm not going to tag anyone because all the people I was going to name have already been named 😔 buuuut, I'd like to leave this space to give many thanks to certain people I may not have interacted with much but I still appreciate very much because they always show up in my inbox to give notes to the things I post, sooo, here we go:

Mooties~

First of all, I want to say thank you to my best friend @thunderg, She's literally my best friend, I've known her since I'm like, I don't know, 4/5 years old? We've been friends since I was about 13 or so and I'm really grateful for that, she always supports me in everything I do (which is generally a bad idea lol). I really don't think I would be here without your help, Ily 🫂💕.

Second, I would like to thank @parkitrighthere, I know we have only known each other for a short time, but I really appreciate your friendship (can you call it that? I hope so 🫡). You are literally the first person I actually talk to around here, you honestly have made being here feel so much more fun exciting, thank you so much for everything! 🩷.

Lastly, I wanted to thank @angellekookie for all your help since we met (it's only been a few weeks, but that doesn't take away from the fact that your help was very helpful). I really enjoyed talking to you, and I can't wait for you to start posting content here as well, you write very well, and I wholeheartedly believe you will be very successful here, good luck with your project! 🫡

No-mooties~

To my dearest @sunhyepark16, I know we haven't talked at all (technically we have, but not directly), but I want you to know that you have a special place in my heart since the first request you made for Taehyung 🫂💕 I never said it because the opportunity didn't arise, but in this blog you were my first protégé and I really enjoyed doing the requests you made. Thank you for requesting them <3 love you 💕.

To @lizzymizzy-blogg, we haven't spoken directly either, but I've seen you so many times on my blog that you also ended up becoming someone special (that's weird? I hope I didn't make you feel uncomfortable 😔) I really appreciate the support you've given me, from the bottom of my heart, thank you so much 💕.

And last (but of course not least), @agustdjiminblog. If I'm being honest, I'm not sure how long I've known about your account, but lately I see it in so many things and that really makes me very happy! I wanted to thank you for giving me support on the things I do and for keeping an eye on them, it really means a lot to me. 🩷🩷

And that's it! I hope I didn't bother any of the people I mentioned, I really didn't mean to make anyone uncomfortable! I just wanted to take this moment to thank those people who made this year much more enjoyable (on this platform).

Bye bye, see u later 🫡

#2024 wrapped #livingformintyoongi #thank u for tagging me Jae!!#bts fic #bts fic recs

22 notes · View notes

kaibutsushidousha · 2 months ago

Note

Since you had various interesting insights on Chiemon over the course of your FSR liveblog thread, if you'd be down I'd love to see a full encapsulation / analysis / meta post summing up your thoughts on him and his character, even if it's just a copy-paste of all the Twitter stuff + any additional thoughts not on there or on his role in the collab event

I could, and honestly should, organize the contents of my Chiemon tweets, but I think I'll prefer to just link the whole livetweet thread because it's a very complete coverage of my interpretation in the game, and adding with the non-Chiemon parts I still think this is the best livetweet I've ever made.

The only thing that's missing to comment there is Chiemon's part in FGO. For the most part, he's Chiemon written in a very Chiemon way. An edgy bum who just says edgy-sounding shit (his constant "I don't wanna hear you calling me Master, Lancer", "this is hell, we're in hell!"), then the player gets additional context that reframes him as the most normal reasonable guy in the cast. FGO is just funnier about because it makes Chiemon say word-for-word "I'm the only sane person here".

There are two major details from the collab that I find splendid additions to Chiemon. First is that he became a Servant classed Lancer instead of Avenger. This is the perfect fit for the guy who sought the gates of hell just to free his family from there and who couldn't bring himself to hurt others in the process. Id's content later only added to this. Chiemon is the same as Fujimaru in how much they cannot be an Avenger.

The second, and much huger reframing of his character, are his last words in his true death scene.

Chiemon's conclusion in Flames of Resentment is opening the gates of hell and learning his family was in heaven instead. FSR makes him just sound like he believes Shimabara was forsaken by God. But here we get a reason. His people were genocided in response to their social revolt, but the part Chiemon has stuck in his memory is "we killed people". His whole hang-up about hell is tied to blood the Shimabaran revolutionaries shed. His guilt is bigger than his rage. At his core, Chiemon is a scared boy who hates hurting others above all else, and that's one more thing that shows all over his characterization when you stop to look at it.

I wouldn't say so, but I would say Ordeal Call 4's writing would benefit from having Chiemon as a guide-type partner who is full of opinions about the hell they'll probably be exploring. Being playable is just a nice extra to that.

#fate samurai remnant #fate grand order #chiemon

22 notes · View notes

daenerys-targaryns · 1 year ago

Note

It absolutely gets me that the whole thing about Rhaneyra putting her siblings to the sword was made up by Otto, Rhaenyra did nothing to indicate that she would; Alicent just fixated on it like- how do they forget that they literally pulled that crock of shit out of thin air? 😭

it gets me too, especially show-wise. the only time rhaenyra shows any bit of fire against her siblings is during the driftmark incident, where it is blatantly obvious to anyone with a brain that she was bluffing when asking for aemond to be sharply questioned. granted, should she have done it? no. is she also a mother trying her best to protect her kids? and not being a super uber-perfect person in the process? yes to both. this is yet another change from the book i don't like, considering alicent demands luke's eye in retribution first, and rhaenyra retaliates against that rather than starting it.

i'm also adding some significant points that make no sense in the greater context if alicent truly thought her children's lives were endangered; which is how she actively antagonizes rhaenyra. in both medias. she raises her children to hate rhaenyra, to view their nephews as inferior and subhuman to them due to their blood, she instills fear for their lives as a part of their everyday activities, she tells her children that aegon will be king no matter what (which is treason, so she doesn't seem to care that badly about her children being found out as participants of those efforts). she does not act like someone who believes her children are going to be murdered once rhaenyra ascends the throne. it's why i can't take her stans seriously. none of her actions make sense in the grand scheme of things. she purposefully makes an enemy that is (TO HER) capable of cold-blooded murder. what terrified mother would do that?

there's also this fetish for infantilizing and victimizing alicent and co. otto manipulated her when she was a teen, which is a fair take. otto was also ostracized from court for TEN years. ten years with minimal to no contact with alicent. she is no longer a child during that time, she is a grown woman with four children to raise and a perfectly good brain to use. we're not shown or told once that rhaenyra *ever* showed an ounce of violence towards her siblings, and at most, she was indifferent to them. it is stated, however, that during that time skip alicent bullied and harassed rhaenyra, to the point where she abandoned the capital to have peace of mind and safety for her own children. still not the actions of a terrified mother (she also wasn't manipulated into doing any of that; it was all of her own accord because she hated that rhaenyra was afforded more freedom and leeway than she was).

what's more, there is minimal, if any, precedent that rhaenyra would be forced to kill her siblings to secure the throne. viserys was only the fifth targaryen king, not exactly enough time to really establish any killing family as a basis. maegor is the only one to have done so, and he's reviled for it even up to the current timeline. it is even thought that his death was the consequence of kinslaying. it's not normal. there has technically been some sort of succession crisis for almost all the rulers up to this time: aegon the uncrowned and maegor, rhaena and jaehaerys, baelon and rhaenys, viserys and rhaenys/laenor. there are, once again, many ways for aegon, aemond, and daeron to renounce their claim to the throne (night's watch, kingsguard, maester); but that would take away the power alicent and otto wanted to have, so not an option.

i wouldn't even consider daemon that much of a threat if rhaenyra had ascended peacefully. they've changed his character significantly in the show, but daemon explicitly states in fire and blood that they need to find a peaceful way to end this dispute, and not resort to fighting dragons versus dragons (a line they gave to rhaenys in the show) because it would only end in disaster. he doesn't resort to any brutality until after the first blood is drawn by the green's.

basically, it's just another ploy, a 'red herring' if you will, to distract from the true reason why rhaenyra was usurped (and hook, line, sinker; it's working fantastically for some in the fandom).

#hotd #hotd critical #f&b #rhaenyra targaryen #pro rhaenyra #team black #anti team green #anti team green stans #anti alicent hightower #anti alicent stans #faye answers #anonymous

120 notes · View notes

csolarstorm · 3 months ago

Text

The Original Dragon of Unova and Wuxing

Have you heard of this Pokemon theory about the Original Dragon and the Forces of Nature? Let me catch you up on it so I can dive deeper into the symbolism of the Four (Five?) Heavenly Beasts and the Five Phases. I think there's a lot more to this theory than people give it credit for, especially after the Abyssal Ruins leak.

The Therian Forces of Nature are probably based on The Four Heavenly Beasts, creatures in Chinese mythology and Taoism that guard the cardinal directions of the earth and heavens. Thundrus is the Azure Dragon of the East, Tornadus is the Vermillion Bird of the South, Landorus is the White Tiger of the West and Enamorus is the Black Tortoise of the North.

Each of the Therian Forms has a mysterious gem on their chest that matches the color of Heavenly Beast they are based on. That is, except for Enamorus, who has a green gem instead of a black one - but I think I can explain why. More on that in a bit.

The Therian Forms didn't always have these gems during the design process. I'm guessing the developers added them to strengthen their connection with the Heavenly Beasts.

Even though they're called the Four Heavenly Beasts, some variations include one more: the emperor Yellow Dragon of the Center. And wouldn't you know it, Kyurem has a big Yellow gem of its own on its forehead.

That much of the theory is well-explored. But what I don't see people go into when talking about this theory is all of the symbolism - the charts upon charts of sets of "five things" associated with the Heavenly Beasts. It's actually pretty appropriate for Gen Five.

Note: I am definitely no expert in Chinese mythology or Taoism. This research was purely for Pokemon theory crafting! Please feel free to correct any inaccuracies or add details in the comments. Thanks!

The Heavenly Beasts are each associated with five "elements" that match their colors: Azure Wood, Vermillion Fire, Yellow Earth, White Metal, and Black Water. This is Wuxing, the "Five Phases" in Taoism. For this post I'll call them "elements" because it's in the context of Pokemon. But Wuxing is more about the interaction between each element than the elements themselves.

Diagram based on this Adobe Stock Image

(Whenever I mention an element, I'm going to name it with its color - for example "Yellow Earth" - just to make it easier to match with its corresponding Heavenly Beast.)

The Five Phases interact in cycles - water nourishes wood, wood feeds fire, but also wood depletes water and fire burns wood. Sound familiar? The cycles are like flowing paths of type advantages and weaknesses...except the Pokemon type chart doesn't form a perfect star when you draw it.

If you grew up on Pokemon types, especially in the west, some of these elemental colors might seem unusual to you. Why is it Azure Wood? Or Black Water? This is why I believe Enamorus ended up with a green gem rather than a black gem: Pokemon wanted the five colors to better match the franchise's color associations.

There is some variation in how different sources portray the colors of the Heavenly Beasts and their elements. In ancient times a lot of cultures didn't differentiate between green and blue, so the Azure Dragon and Wood can be represented with Green, Blue, or any color between.

So they could have given Thundrus the Green Gem - but Pokemon went with Blue for several reasons. Not only are there lots of cultural depictions of a bright blue Azure Dragon, but giving Thundrus a Green Gem might clash with its green-skinned rival Tornadus.

Then ten years later, here comes Enamorus. A Blue Gem would have been perfect for Enamorus, since Blue is occasionally associated with the Black Tortoise and Water. But, it was already taken. And Pokemon probably wanted to avoid using Black, because a "Black Gem" together with Landorus's White Gem might clash with Reshiram and Zekrom. So Enamorus ended up with the Green Gem instead.

Now you can interpret this in one of two ways. Did they change the colors of the elements, or did they switch the elements so that now Enamorus has the Green "Wood" Gem in Pokemon since she's connected to fertility, while Thundrus has the Blue "Water" Gem since he's a generally rainy guy?

But I digress. Let's get back to the main topic.

Source: wanghongliu on Wikipedia entry for "Yellow Dragon"

Each of the elements in Wuxing are associated with Yin or Yang. Azure Wood is the idea of natural energy - together with Vermillion Fire, both are Yang, energetic and lively. Black Water and White Metal are Yin. (It's kind of ironic Black Water and White Metal are both Yin - but color coding in ancient symbolism is never perfect.)

Yellow Earth is both Yin and Yang, in a sense representing the whole Taijitu, and it corresponds with the Yellow Dragon of the Center. If the Original Dragon of Unova is based on the Yellow Dragon, it would be both Yin and Yang - both Zekrom and Reshiram! This is probably why you see diagrams of the Four Heavenly Beasts with the Taijitu in the center.

The Yellow Dragon is said to be the Yellow Emperor of China, who turned into a dragon after ascending to the heavens. I think there is a similar metaphorical connection between the ancient King of Unova and his signature Pokemon, the Original Dragon. In the Abyssal Ruins, King Harmonia is literally represented with the symbol of the Original Dragon, machine translated as "the creature known as God".

Source: Pokeleaks on Reddit via ImmaculateOne-Browne

What about the Yellow Dragon's cardinal direction, the "Center"? Unova is one of only two regions with a major landmark in the region's center. In an early plan for the map, the "Imperial Palace" was in the center, likely the Elite Four building. While this is a reference to the Japanese Imperial Palace, there have also been "Imperial Palaces" in China's history. Either way, as royal palace, it's a perfect "Center" for the imperial Yellow Dragon.

Source for Beta Unova Map: CentroLeaks

In the canon however, the center of Unova's map is home to the Entralink, and the entrance to the Dream World. This is also perfect, because the Forces of Nature are rumored to come from the Interdream Zone. In fact, it's speculated that their Therian Forms are their original forms.

Remember I said that the Four Heavenly Beasts guard the cardinal directions of the heavens? Well, the Dream World is an easy analogy for heaven, because it's a realm of rainbows and floating islands in the sky. So it makes sense that Pokemon based on the Four Heavenly Beasts would come from an area connected to the Dream World.

Another easy analogy for heaven is space. Symbolically, this is probably why so many powerful space dragons, like the Original Dragon of Unova, keep crashing into the Pokemon World.

Hear me out though: considering the possibility that the Original Dragon is connected to the Forces of Nature...is it possible that the Original Dragon only looked like it came from space, and instead it actually crashed down from a portal to the Interdream Zone that opened in the sky?

Finally, my first real Gen V theory! After all of those Z-A theories, I wanted to get back to my roots - and what a fun rabbit hole to go down. The Heavenly Beasts and the Five Phases match with so many things - for example, the seasons, which are also major in the Unova games. But that's as far as I'll go into the rabbit hole for now, because my real goal here, the reason I researched and wrote all of this… was to set up my eventual theory about N's Puzzle Cube.

If you're interested in some Pokemon Z-A theories, check out my post Getting to the Roots of Zygarde! where I talk about the symbolism behind Zygarde's nature powers, and the role they might play in Z-A.

For a lot of us, it's been a hard time lately, so I hope this brought a little cheer to somebody. Take care of yourself and stay safe!

All images that are uncredited are either from Bulbapedia, or are my own work.

22 notes · View notes

girls--complex · 7 months ago

Note

I just came upon your blog and it's given me Lots of Thoughts, even though I don't particularly believe in any God (that is to say, I think there might be something more out there, though I don't think it's God as it's portrayed by any religion and I need some sort of tangible evidence before I can confirm or deny that something like that exists. All that to say I'm agnostic lol), but I do think you have some very good points about a lot of things.

I find it kinda hard to understand some of the things you write since you use a lot of long and complicated words that aren't in my vocabulary since English isn't my first language and I've never left my home country, but I'm doing my best! (With the help of an online dictionary)

Either way, I really love your art and I'm taking some inspiration from your style to practice, if that's okay with you! I just really like how flowy, creative and loose it is and I really need to loosen up a bit about making things instead of constantly adding more detail and perfecting it until I lose interest because it becomes stressful instead of enjoyable to create something.

I also wanted to ask, since according to your comics you've done shrooms before, how would you recommend going about shrooms to someone who's not used to doing much of any substance? (I barely drink alcohol and I smoke weed so rarely every time I do it I end up extremely disoriented until I manage to calm down no matter how little I smoke).

I'm asking cause a friend of mine whom I've known for years recently told me they have some, and that he'd be willing to share them with me, and I'm curious about trying them out and seeing if I can learn something from that experience, but I wanna stay safe while making the most of it :3

Hi thank you for a long & thoughtful message

YOU ARE ALWAYS ALLOWED TO COPY OR "STEAL" OR WHAT EVER FROM MY DRAWINGS seriously this is so normal and allowed. I do this with other cartoonists and all the cartoonists I know also do this. We do it to each other. "I like how she draws eyes" or whatever and we absorb it into our own style. Or just copying drawings/ paintings/pages. This is good. Do it.

Thank you for taking the time to decipher my words. I know I use lots of large/obscure words N trying to get better at making me language accessible (& maybe use my beloved obscure words in enough context that a reader can figure out the meaning).

I think using psychedelics is something better to talk about with people who know U in person and can respond to your needs and goals. Maybe your friend can give some guidance or knows someone who has a shamanic streak that can. Or you can always go on erowid or reddit whatever kids are using now to do a lil research.

I don't really feel comfortable giving specific advice or even general advice that might color the experience in a certain way, hope u understand...

Thank u for saying Hi

41 notes · View notes

sarcophagid · 4 months ago

Text

miscellaneous thoughts abt ithaqua's weibo post and trailer backstory

weibo post link | official wiki lore page

my translation (i'll be referencing this a few times, but it's pretty rough, and not significantly different from the official wiki translations, there's just a few semantic things i added from the original weibo post. i'll put the original chinese text besides whatever i'm referencing. lmk if there's anything i should change, my chinese is very very far from perfect 😭)

disclaimer: i doubt all of this is necessarily intentional, i just think it's fun to think abt. this is more of my personal interpretation 👍

Red, fire, life - are all connected symbols.

His heartbeat is described as being 'rekindled' specifically using a term (燃起) related to lighting fires.

His life with his mother is also likened to a bonfire in the blizzard (风雪中的篝火)

In this sense, ithaqua embracing the identity of an snow monster is also a departure from his identity while he was 'alive'. The night watch is cold, it's not alive. He also says 'no longer will living people come near you' (不会再有活人靠近你).

Similarly, after the attack, he describes her humanity as having died. (母亲的人性死)

He uses these figurative terms of 'life and death' in his trailer too. he was born 'dead', and only upon meeting his mother was he 'alive'.

In this sense, his mothers hair is red like fire, warmth, and life

Clerical cloaks are usually black, unless it's a special occasion. Nathaniel's cloak is also red.

Occam's Razor says that red stands out more against the dark background, and in shots with just the two of them, makes the scene look more cohesive.

But I have a problem, so symbolically, I think red in Nathaniel's context represents blood - both as a blood relative to Ithaqua and to indicate his violence and the violence of the society he represents.

This is more tentative, but I think the concept of 'gods' is also related to this. When he 'regains his senses' (回过神) the character (神) used for 'senses/mind' is the same as the one used for 'god'. This is also the scene after he murders Nathaniel. However, this is also a very commonly used phrase with nothing to do with god (god, mind, spirit, are connected concepts linguistically; unrelated to this story) so it's likely mere coincidence, similar to the line about "becoming an adult/becoming human".

In this sense, red, blood, and violence are connected.

barbarism/civility

Leng is described as barbarous, but its practices have also been described as 'civility'. I think the first instance refers to the cultural lagging of Leng, being somewhat a figment of the past.

This could be seen as a separation between two time periods - the civility that has these rules (the ones which hurt his family), and the older barbarism that does not. Ithaqua's "reverting to barbarism" could then be inferred to represent an even older time than the already old practices in the plateau. This is somewhat in line with his persona of an "old god", although fictitious.

Ithaqua, whether he shows it or not, has an understanding of politeness and etiquette. (heavy extrapolation but this is from the 5th anniversary video where he says "Do you believe someone who believes barbarism is better than civilization should be illiterate and lacking etiquette?") On this note, it's possible if not likely that his mother was well-educated. Regardless, I don't think he hates every aspect of society or humanity, but he also has a very limited understanding of it given the nature of the Plateau.

humanity/monstrosity

Monsters in this story aren't very literal* as much as they represent the unexplained and chaotic.

*There were no real witches or demons, and Ithaqua is not literally an old god. He also rejects the existence of witches. (However, there are supernatural elements to the story, such as his mysterious survival and the wind power.)

A demon/monster/witch makes a concrete concept you can destroy to gain a sense of security. Leng is a hotbed of fear, not wrath. (perhaps hatred comes into the equation but it does not initially grow there.) It's isolated, has limited resources, harsh winters, and a constant sense of paranoia regarding survival. It wouldn't take a lot for the area to go out of balance, and this uncertainty drives the desire to have a tangible thing to blame because it's difficult to accept the idea that we have so little control over our fate. The Night Watch embodies the cold and alien that the people fear - but what scares him is familiar. A face that literally matches his own.

Ithaqua spends nearly his entire life both mentally and physically separated from a nebulous 'other' civilization. I won't speculate on his personal philosophies regarding human nature and free will but he is terrified of the possibility that he, for all his differences, was not meaningfully different at birth from Nathaniel because they are both very human. This is all a story for another day though 😅

anyways thank you for reading! i haven't rlly checked enough for spelling and grammar stuff and it might be a little repetitive/rambly forgive me TOT but imma edit this later maybe

#ithaqua #idv ithaqua #idv #meta #i am slightly less insane when it comes to ithaqua which allows me to actually formulate real thoughts and type them out #if its nathaniel i just sit there and sigh and daydream

23 notes · View notes

jebewonmorelike · 2 years ago

Text

Chocolate Milk

wc: 4.8k pronouns: none used; n/a -- reader has femme best friend warnings: angstttt, fluffy ending, matthew being mean, swearing, mention of alcohol, matthew is a stranger and reader has to live with him, financial struggle/unemployment, a few inappropriate jokes but nothing explicit (think pg-13), consumption of a concerning amount of chocolate milk over a 6 week period warnings for spicy cut-scene: suggestive/mature themes; minors dni (link is here and will also be in the fic for the appropriate context and placement; fic makes perfect sense without cut scene as well it's just for funsies) summary: a down-on-their-luck reader has to crash on bandmemberandgymrat!matthew's couch for the foreseeable future. a couple problems with this: matthew is incredibly hot and also a major asshole ~masterlist~ ♡ ~kofi (no pressure at all)~ OH MY GOD. IT'S DONE. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO DO. I DID IT. THIS ONE NEARLY ENDED ME WOW I CAN'T BELIEVE I FINISHED IT. i hope you LOVE it; matthew is for sure more like woohyun in this and he is hot and so mean and cocky and... enjoy this, please i'm begging you. <3

Why me?

You had been screaming this question over and over again in your head for the past twenty minutes. Your friend had texted you this afternoon that she'd finally found a contact who had a place for you to crash for awhile. The address she sent you had been a bit far away from the place you were currently crashing and you didn't have enough money for an Uber, so after an hour on the subway this evening and a thirty minute walk after that, you had finally knocked on the door of the apartment your friend had sent you to.

The boy that had opened the door, though shorter in height was muscular and sported several tattoos-- and you knew this because he had greeted you in a black, fitted tank top and boxers. Albeit, you had been quite a bit later than you said you would be, but the fact that he hadn't said more than ten words to you since you'd arrived with your suitcase in hand wasn't helping you to forgive his too-comfortable appearance.

Standing a few feet behind him in the kitchen area, you watch as the boy opens the refrigerator door. Fishing into one of the drawers, he pulls out a water bottle and tosses it to you.

He fails to warn you of the incoming object, however, and before you can scramble to catch it, it connects with your face.

You stare at each other for a long moment until you feel something tickling the skin beneath your nose.

"You're bleeding," the boy says, still expressionless as he continues to stare at you. "And you suck at catching things."

Bringing your hand up to your face, you run your fingers across the skin that is tingling under your nose. He was right: bright, red blood is coating your fingertips.

"Oh, um," you mumble, looking around for something to wipe your nose with. "Is--... Do you have a--?"

A tissue box hurtling towards your face shuts you up as your hands reach up in a panic to catch it.

"Better that time," the boy says, eyebrows raised ever so slightly in amusement.

Pulling a tissue from the tissue box, you dab it around your nose to remove the blood that is still flowing from it. You swallow nervously, glaring at the boy who has been nothing but rude to you this entire time.

He takes a sip from the glass of chocolate milk sitting beside him before placing it on the island counter that he's leaning against. "Is it broken?"

"What?" You ask, brow furrowing softly.

"Your nose," he responds, meeting your gaze again. "Is it broken?"

You frown. "I doubt it. It doesn't even hurt really."

"Damn," he says, shaking his head. "Disappointing."

Your eyebrows raise incredulously at the boy's words. "Were you trying to break my nose!?"

"Nah, of course not," he denies, turning to look at his right bicep. He prods the muscle before adding, "Just kind of pathetic that I couldn't, you know? Guess I've gotta up my reps from now on."

You're not sure when your jaw started dropping, but it clearly had no intention of stopping any time soon. "You--... You--."

Before you can say anything else, the boy places his empty glass in the sink and walks out of the kitchen area and towards his bedroom-- leaving you entirely speechless. After a moment of internally screaming 'wtf', you turn around to yell at him.

"HEY!" You shout, catching the boy just as he's about to shut the door to his bedroom. "What are you doing!?"

"Closing the door," he answers simply, starting to close the door again.

"Closing the--," you say, tongue pressed to your cheek as you look up to the ceiling and shake your head in disbelief. "This was a terrible mistake. I’m leaving.”

Walking towards the apartment door, you wrap your hand around the handle of your suitcase and pull it behind you. As you reach the door, you turn the knob and throw it open in a huff…

Only to suddenly feel your suitcase gain 100 pounds.

You tug at it uselessly to try to get it to budge, but eventually you are forced to give up and turn back around to see what the problem is.

Finding the suitcase handle, your breath hitches when you see a hand gripping the blue plastic next to yours. You follow that veiny hand up past the arm its connected to until you’re finally looking its owner in the eye.

You swallow hard, not knowing how to properly react as you pull the suitcase harder. “Let go.”

He does, but the sudden lack of equal and opposite force on the suitcase sends you flying back against the door— shutting it closed behind you in the process.

The boy steps towards you, your heart racing in response as your mind runs through all the possible ways he could kill you and dispose of your body.

Click.

His fingers turn the lock on the doorknob.

Clank.

He locks the deadbolt above it.

“PLEASE DON’T KILL ME!” You shout suddenly, no longer able to contain your fear.

He stares at you for a moment, face less than a foot away from yours. Then, he snorts. “I was actually trying to keep you from getting killed. I don’t know if you noticed, but this building isn’t in that great of an area. The guy down the hall got murdered at the vending machine at 10 P.M. just last week actually.”

You blink back at him, wide eyed.

“But if you'd prefer to go out there, I’ll just go ahead and open this door up for you and you can—.”

You turn around, pressing your hands against the door to keep him from opening it. “I’ll just… stay here. But only for tonight.”

“Sure you will.”

You frown, turning back around to face him. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means I know you have nowhere else to go, so,” the boy says, face expressionless. “You wouldn’t be trying to shack up on some rando’s couch for the foreseeable future if you weren’t.”

You sigh. The asshole is unfortunately right.

“I go to the gym early every morning and I have band practice until late at night-- which I missed tonight for you; who decided it was polite and reasonable to be two hours late without even sending a text," he says, walking back towards his room. “But what I'm getting at is: you won't see me unless you're trying to. So I'll know if you're trying to."

Scoffing, you stand there with your suitcase in this bastard of a man’s apartment-- completely helpless to the situation at hand.

“But if I hear so much as a peep out of you while I’m sleeping, you’re out on the street-- do you hear me?”

He doesn't wait for you to answer. Instead, he shuts the door to his room closed; leaving you alone in the combined kitchen and living area in the small one bedroom apartment. Resignedly, you slink towards the couch and sit down; finally pulling out your phone to text your friend after experiencing this utter disaster that she had set you up for.

BITCH WTF

???

this man is the rudest, most insufferable human being in the world. why did u tell me to go live with him

Matthew? Insufferable? Maybe a bit abrasive but...

he threw a water bottle at my face so hard my nose bled and then got upset when he found out it wasn't broken

Awww... I think he likes you :)

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!? he's a fucking crazy person

You just don't know each other yet. Don't worry too much about it. You needed a place to stay and you got one... Beggars can't be choosers

watch it

Gn xx

You throw your phone down beside you onto the couch, lying down on your back as you curse your friend.

Matthew...

He hadn't even had the common courtesy to introduce himself. In fact, you would've gone on not knowing his name if it wasn't for your friend having told you just now.

Luckily, even in the strange new environment, exhaustion begins to take over after the long train ride and walk you'd been on all evening. Sinking into the old, leather couch and pulling the navy blue throw blanket draped on its arm over your body, you eventually drift off while scrolling through TikTok as the hum of the refrigerator lulls you to sleep.

A few days pass quietly in this way. Though Matthew had claimed you'd never see him unless you tried, you'd found it easy at first to get a glimpse of him when he came in through the apartment door around 2 A.M. every night. The click of the doorknob and clank of the deadbolt always stirred you from your sleep, though you'd keep your eyes closed as he walked past where you laid on the couch.

But one night, just as you were falling back to sleep after Matthew had come home about a half hour prior, you hear his bedroom door click open.

Curiously, you watch as Matthew walks to the fridge, opening the door and peering inside. In the refrigerator light, you can’t help but notice that his features are much softer and sleepier than usual.

“Stop staring,” he says suddenly, jolting you upright on the couch.

You stare at him wide-eyed in the dim light, not sure whether to deny his claim or not. “I wasn’t staring. I—.”

“So why were you pretending to be asleep, huh?” He challenges, eyes boring into you. When you fail to answer, he concludes, “That’s what I thought.”

Matthew sticks his head back in the fridge for a moment before resurfacing— a puzzled look on his face. “Huh.”

“What?”

He closes the refrigerator door, holding up the new carton of chocolate milk you had picked up from the corner store down the street that afternoon. “Where did this come from?”

“I got it today,” you answer with a shrug. “I saw you were out so I grabbed some on my way back here.”

Matthew blinks back at you for several seconds, the puzzled look on his face unfading even after your explanation. He walks to the cupboard and pulls out a glass, setting it on the table as he unscrews the cap of the carton and pours. "I didn't ask you to do that."

Your eyebrows raise in shock at his condemnation of the favor you'd attempted to do for him. "Bastard," you mumble under your breath.

"Don't waste your money," he says, bringing the glass to his lips and chugging the liquid in less than three seconds. "You're supposed to be saving it," he scolds as he sets the glass in the sink, walking out of the kitchen and back to his room.

"And go to bed."

That's all Matthew says before the door to his bedroom slams shut once more.

~super spicy cut scene 🌶️ HERE 🌶️... minors dni ... continue reading below ... rest of story makes full sense without additional scene so return here after reading or SKIP IF YOU ARE A MINOR~

You don't see Matthew again for another week. You've been exercising again, tiring your body out so you can sleep well on the old leather couch that you now call your bed. You wake up each morning and its as if the boy had never come home at all.

The only sign of his existence is another empty glass in the sink, which had undoubtedly been filled with chocolate milk the night before while you were sleeping just a few feet away.

You wash each new empty glass every morning. He must notice, but he never says anything.

You've applied to several music teaching jobs, but haven't made it past the interview stage for any of them so far. Most of them say they're looking for someone with more recent experience at this point. You're now considering branching out to any field that will hire you.

You're asleep by 10 P.M. tonight, a long walk that accidentally ended up being mostly uphill turning your legs to jelly as they melted into the beat-up couch. It's one of the soundest sleeps you've ever had, until a soft melody begins to wake you...

Eyes fluttering awake much to your chagrin, you look around the room expecting to see light flooding through the windows. You're surprised instead when the only light you see is leaking through a crack in Matthew's bedroom door.

The strumming of an acoustic guitar, accompanied by a gentle male voice is what must have woken you. You sit upright, wiping the sleep from your eyes as you grab your phone from the end table and check the time.

2:34 A.M. He must've just gotten home from band practice, you think. Why is he still playing?

Curiously, you stand up and tiptoe to Matthew's bedroom door. He hadn't shut it all the way and you can see him in the reflection of his standing mirror. He's wearing grey sweatpants and a black, fitted tank top as he works the guitar-- eyes closed and brows furrowed tensely as he sings with it.

He looks hot.

You shake your head quickly, expelling the troubling thought as soon as it pops into your head and correcting it:

He looks frustrated.

You listen closer, trying to catch the lyrics or the tone of the song. Matthew's voice is a lot better than you thought it would be. You had secretly been hoping he sucked so that you could hold it over the asshole's head forever. But he doesn't suck. And far from it...

But there is something slightly off. You place your ear closer to the door, trying to figure out what the problem is. As he holds out the last note of a particular phrase, it hits you.

And you accidentally hit the door, sending it flying open as Matthew's eyes meet yours through the mirror. You grimace awkwardly as he stares back at you unamusedly.

"You just can't help yourself, can you?"

You step into Matthew's bedroom, looking around through sleepy eyes at each corner. You were surprised to find he had a bed frame and not an old, messy mattress on the floor. He had seemed like the type.

"You woke me up," you say with a frown. "Why are you allowed to make noise while I'm sleeping?"

"Because I'm the only one paying rent," he says simply, raising a small glass of what looks to be whiskey to his lips.

Your brows furrow defensively. "I was going to help with rent."

"With what money?" He asks rhetorically, setting the glass back down on his desk. "Have you found a job yet?"

Chewing your cheek in defeat, you answer softly, "No."

"Mm," he hums in response, returning his attention to his guitar.

"But I've been trying," you add, folding your arms across your chest. "Really hard. It's just that my field is... saturated."

"Mmhm," he mumbles dismissively. You shake your head, rolling your eyes at the boy who you were now forced to coexist with.

"Whatever. I was actually gonna tell you you sounded nice," you say, walking back towards the door. "But you actually sounded pretty flat so. Choke on a dick."

You're just about to step back into the living area when Matthew calls softly behind you, "Did I actually sound flat?"

You turn around and nod at him, taking in his curious expression for a moment. "It's most noticeable on the ending pitches."

"I knew it," he says, sighing in defeat.

This is the first time you've ever seen real emotion from Matthew. He's definitely upset that he's not sounding the way he wants to. It's refreshing to see him give a shit about something for once.

"It's because you're lingering on your consonants too long," you advise calmly as his eyes meet yours. "You need to get to your vowels faster or you're gonna stay under the pitch."

His eyes narrow suspiciously. "How do you know that? What are you-- some sort of vocal coach?"

"Uh," you stumble, smiling awkwardly back at him. "Yeah, actually."

"No you're not," he accuses with a frown. "I've never heard you sing before. Not even once."

"Obviously. I'm not allowed to make a peep while you're here or you'll kick me out, remember?"

Matthew leans back in his desk chair. "You're being for real? You're really a trained vocal coach?"

You nod, pressing your lips together. "I'm also a jazz saxophonist. Turns out neither are very lucrative professions."

He's silent-- just staring back at you as if he's lost in thought.

"You have a good voice, though," you say, walking towards the door once more when it seems like he's not going to respond to you again tonight. "And I liked the song. But I think it could use some work."

You take one last look at him, his face soft and sleepy like it had been that night a few days after you'd just moved in. He's gazing down at his guitar, tapping his fingers against the body lightly before you finally close the door.

"Well I've been afraid of changing, 'cause I built my life around you..."

The lyrics flow out of you as the hot water hits your body and falls down to the floor of the shower beneath you. Matthew might live in a shitty apartment building, but one thing they did have...

Good water pressure.

"But time makes you bolder; even children get older and I'm feeling older, too..."

Thud.

You freeze as you hear a loud noise come from the other side of the bathroom door. A million thoughts race through your head, but one sticks out most of all: is someone else in the apartment?

Matthew wouldn't be home for hours. And you'd deadbolted the door to the apartment...

Hadn't you?

Fight response kicking in, you shut off the water and fling open the shower curtain. Wrapping a large towel around you, you open the bathroom door and step into the living area cautiously. Walking around, you look for any signs of an intruder but, after a thorough search... you don't find any.

What you do find is your phone on the ground next to the couch, when you were sure you'd placed it on the end table. But with the windows open and the summer evening breeze blowing into the apartment, you try to convince yourself as best you can that your phone has simply fallen off its perch.

Changing into your pajamas, you watch TV for a while before falling asleep for the night on your makeshift bed.

Bzzzzzz. Bzzzzzz.

The light buzzing against your chest wakes you up, looking around in a daze for the culprit. Finally, you locate your phone and bring it up to your face; blinking the sleep away as you read the screen as best as you can.

3:57 A.M.

Mom

Decline Accept

You decline the call quickly after reading the time, instead texting your mother:

i can't talk. what's wrong?

Your mom types back fast, as expected:

Nothing's wrong honey! Just wanted to give you a head's up that we had to put your dad's gambling debt on your debit card this month. Luv u x

Your heart jumps to your throat. "No, no, no, no, no," you whisper as your fingers frantically find your mobile banking app. You tap it open, clicking through to your account total which now reads:

-$3,367

Suddenly, you're nauseous and scared and devastated all at once. You had saved $300 in the time since you'd gotten your part-time job at the Italian restaurant around the corner from you two weeks ago. And just like that, you were in serious debt once more.

Would this nightmare ever end?

You're not sure when you started sobbing, but the tears are flowing and they're now a completely unstoppable force. Covering your mouth with your hand, you attempt to stifle the sound of your crying as much as you feasibly can.

But it's all in vain.

The door to Matthew's room flies open, anger radiating off of him. But then he squeezes his eyes shut tightly, reopening them after a moment to stare blankly back at you. He's unmoving as you continue to sob until he finally walks past you to the kitchen area.

Matthew opens the refrigerator door, pulling out a fresh carton of chocolate milk. He opens the cupboard and pulls out a glass before filling it up halfway. He returns to the carton to the fridge and walks over to where you're sitting on the couch, glass in hand.

"Because you're crying like a giant baby, I figured you might need some milk," the boy says, hand with the glass extending out to you.

His words are harsh and sarcastic, but his expression is surprisingly soft. You notice his hair is slightly messy from sleep and his cheeks are puffier than usual. He looks almost innocent...

"Do I have to beat someone up?" He asks quietly.

Suddenly, you realize: this glass of chocolate milk could be Matthew's version of an olive branch.

You take the glass from his hand, slowly bringing it to your lips and taking a sip. You hold the glass in your lap as you meet his gaze.

"I hope not," you say softly. "Considering you wouldn't even be able to break their nose..."

Matthew blinks at you for a few seconds before a sudden grin lights up his face. His smile is broad and happy and if you weren't already sitting down, it would've knocked you off your feet.

The crinkles in the corner of his eyes are youthful and endearing and the laugh that comes out of him is enough to light the entire apartment in the dark.

What the fuck is going on?

When he sees you staring back at him confused, he coughs lightly in what seems to be embarrassment as he averts your gaze. "Go to sleep," he says, walking back to his room quickly. "You can keep crying in the morning."

Though Matthew's words themselves aren't overly comforting, there's something behind them-- something in his voice or maybe the way he glances at back at you before closing the door-- that makes you think that the boy who had once been disappointed he didn't break your nose... might actually give a shit about you after all.

"HOLY FUCK!" You scream, bolting upright from your sleep the next morning when you open your eyes to Matthew staring back at you.

He smirks. "A good face to wake up to, right?"

"No," you say, gripping your heart with your hand. "You scared the shit out of me."

"I hope I didn't," he says, standing up from where he's sitting on the floor in front of you. "You're not getting a new couch no matter how much you shit on it."

"You're more chipper than usual this morning," you say, stretching your arms above your head before dropping them to your lap in sudden realization. "Wait... It's the morning! You're not supposed to be here!"

Matthew laughs, walking over to the kitchen island and grabbing his keys. "Come on. We're going."

"What?" You ask confusedly. "Going where?"

"To breakfast," he answers simply.

"Why would we--?"

"Because there's no food in the house," he answers plainly again.

You frown. "I was gonna go pick up some groceries yesterday, but--."

"But you didn't," he cuts you off again quickly. "So you have 100 seconds to get ready and then we're going."

You blink at him, wondering what on earth had gotten into this man.

"100... 99... 98..." Matthew begins counting down; the sudden pressure causing you to jump to your feet, grab some clothes from your suitcase next to the couch and run to the bathroom.

Panicking, you brush your teeth and wash the sleep from your eyes before changing into the jeans and shirt you had haphazardly plucked from your suitcase. Fixing your hair, you can hear Matthew still counting faintly from outside the bathroom door.

You fling it open just as he's about to say "seven"; brushing past him to grab your phone from the couch.

"Oh look at you," he says, a smug little smile on his lips. "So efficient with your time."

"Let's just go," you mumble, unlocking the door to the apartment and stepping outside in a huff as you watch the smile on Matthew's face only grow wider.

"Can I have your cream?"

Your eyes widen in shock. "My--... my cream?"

"Yeah, your coffee cream," he says, pointing to the tiny containers of milk creamer that you've left untouched next to your coffee cup. "If you're not gonna use it."

"I--... I am gonna use it actually, thank you very much," you huff out, trying to shake the image that Matthew had unknowingly created from your mind as you pick up one of the creamer packets and dump it into your coffee.

You look up at Matthew as you place the empty container down to find the infuriatingly attractive boy smirking at you-- teeth lightly biting down on the left side of his bottom lip.

"Did you think I meant something else?" He asks with a cocky chuckle.

You pour the second packet of creamer into your coffee, exhaling deeply as you chew your cheeks to keep yourself from screaming. "If you had, I would've poured this hot coffee down your shirt."

"I'll admit that's a very creative way to get a glimpse under my shirt," Matthew counters, leaning back in the booth seat and folding his arms across his chest. He positions his forearms just under where his pectoral muscles end, humorously trying to emphasize them for you.

It is unfortunately having its desired affect on you.

"If I had known that you stopping being so rude to me would lead to you amping up the inappropriate flirting I would've--."

"Tried to make it happen sooner?" Matthew says, raising his eyebrows in a challenge.

You pick up your spoon and dunk it in your coffee cup, stirring a little too aggressively as some of the hot liquid splashes onto the table. You're about to grab a napkin to wipe up the small spill, but a veiny, slightly-calloused hand beats you to it.

He dabs up the spill with his napkin and retracts his hand before meeting your gaze again. "I know you're in serious debt."

You stare back at him, not sure whether or not to deny his accusation. Ultimately, you're too curious to fight back. "How do you know?"

"You left your phone open," he says nonchalantly. "When I was getting ready to go to the gym this morning, your bank info was just lying there."

You laugh sadly. "Good thing I have nothing to steal."

"I thought you were working at that restaurant on 5th Street," he says, taking a sip from his coffee mug. "What happened to that?"

"Nothing happened," you say, staring into your own cup of coffee. "I'm still working there."

"And you haven't managed to save anything?" He asks, eyes free of their usual judgment. "Is that why you were upset?"

Slowly, you shake your head. Why you were about to divulge your personal information to a virtual stranger (albeit a virtual stranger that you live with) was beyond you. But you answer honestly anyway, "My parents charged their own debt to my account this month. It's not the first time they've done it. It won't be the last."

Matthew studies you for a second. "Does that have anything to do with why you had nowhere to live in the first place?"

"I was fine paying it off for a while, each time they'd add a new charge. I'd just spend a little less that month. A lotta less, actually. But I was fine," you explain slowly. "But when the pandemic hit, the arts school I was teaching at closed down. And so did a lot of other arts and music programs across the country. And I just haven't been able to find a job or recover financially since."

The boy sitting across from you is quiet for a few moments, taking a sip of his coffee and placing the cup back down on its saucer. You think maybe he's reached his talking quota for the day, when he suddenly says, "I know someone who needs a vocal coach."

You tilt your head curiously to the side. "Who?"

"Me."

Unfortunately you'd taken a sip of your coffee just before Matthew had given his answer. You choke slightly as the hot liquid goes down the wrong pipe from the shock; clearing your throat before responding, "WHAT!?"

"Someone whose band just got signed to a local record label is gonna need a good vocal coach, don't you think?"

You watch as a smile grows on his face; the sun suddenly making an appearance smack-dab in the middle of Joe's City Diner. It's impossible to keep the corners of your lips from also turning up when your roommate has suddenly decided to start being the cutest person you've ever seen before.

"That's--... That's amazing," you congratulate him. "Breakfast is on m--."

"Me," he says with a laugh. "It's on me. Unless we're dining and ditching. But I wanna be able to keep coming back here, so let's just let me pay, yeah?"

A little embarrassed, you nod in agreement. "Right."

"Plus, it's my way to convince you to be my vocal coach," he says with a smirk. "Is it working?"

You sigh, a small smile forming on your lips, too. "I dunno. I'm kind of out of practice at this point..."

"I'll pay you $75/hour for two lessons a week."

"Deal," you say quickly, hand extending across the table before you can even think it through properly.

He grins, taking your hand in his and shaking it. "Pleasure doing business with you."

"You as well," you say quietly, blushing as you retract your hand. “But… can I ask why? If you have $150 to spare, you could hire anyone. And, honestly, I thought that you hated me until... Until right now, actually. Why are you helping me?”

Matthew chews his lip for a second, folding his hands in his lap. “Because you bought me chocolate milk.”

A little pout forms on your lip as you try to figure out what he’s talking about. “What?”

“When I ran out,” he says, nodding simply. “You went to the corner store and got me a new carton. When you first moved in.”

You frown. “You told me never to do that again!”

“I told you not to waste your money again,” he says shrugging. “But it was thoughtful of you… and I appreciated it.”

You blink back at him, not sure what to say to his after-the-fact thank you. After a moment, you nod-- a small smile on your lips.

He takes another sip of his coffee. "And you're not out of practice by the way."

Your eyebrows furrow, wondering what Matthew means by this.

"I heard you singing last night in the shower," he says, smiling. "I knew for sure you weren't lying when I heard you."

Suddenly, you remember the thud you had heard while showering the night before. "YOU WERE LISTENING TO ME SHOWER!?"

Matthew laughs. "I forgot my capo at home and I needed it for band practice and--..." The smile drops from his face when he realizes what you had meant. "NO! No, oh my god, no. No, no, no-- not like that I--."

"Why so defensive?" You ask with a smirk, one eyebrow cocking playfully. "Just wanted to show you I can play that game, too."

You watch relief floods his face as he grins. "I'd ask you to put your money where your mouth is, but..."

"Asshole."

His smile exudes a bit of fondness now, much different from his smirk or his sunshine-filled grin. It's soft; warm. "You have a beautiful voice."

You look down int your coffee cup, bottom lip tucking between your teeth awkwardly. "Thanks."

"And if you sing while I'm home, I won't kick you out. In fact, that can be your rent payment."

You start to shake your head in protest, but he just laughs.

"That way I don't have to eavesdrop while you shower," Matthew jokes. "Unless you want me to."

"You've got to be kidding--."

"And maybe we can get breakfast like this more often."

There's a flutter in your heart again. Just like when he'd told you to go to bed earlier this morning. His words weren't flowery or overly emotional or caring in themselves...

But it's that look in his eyes; the tone in his voice.

"Breakfast and vocal lessons it is," you agree softly. "But I get to add something to the deal too..."

He smiles at you, brows raised in anticipation.

"You share your chocolate milk with me more often."

Matthew's eyes narrow as he studies you for a moment. You think for a second that his love for chocolate milk might be too strong...

But then he nods.

"Deal."

302 notes · View notes

kaqcuille · 2 months ago

Note

Apparently!

Kartik didn't actually play Manjulika mostly, it was a stunt double named Pia Soni, who was the faceless dancer in the intro, and then the masked manjulika. She also claims to have done the climax tandav to the Sonu Nigam song, and in her comments under her reels says that Kartik's face was added using vfx.

That means he just did the dance as Debu in the green dress during the flashback and just at the end while attaining moksha apparently

Idk why this made me so sad like I got really attached and impacted by a mainstream actor playing a transwoman's role or a feminine role and they couldn't even care to have him do the full thing! Couldn't he have trained in classical dance and done it himself? He's trained hard for his other movies like Chandu champion so why was this done like this?

I mean I hope this lady is not telling the truth fully because I don't wanna believe he didn't do like 90% of it, especially the dance as the ghost

But she has pictures with the cast and director and photos of getting ready

Maybe she was just a body double due to Kartik's double role in the same scene?

Idek why this is so upsetting to me ugh but I thought yall would understand this very very niche thing lol

Anyway here's her Instagram account you can look at her bts reels and comments: https://www.instagram.com/piaaasoni24?igsh=MWEzZ253a3A3dGFsbA==

I've literally dm-ed her to confirm 😭

Hey! Sorry we took a while to answer this, but you raised many important points that we (the mods) had to discuss and come up with an answer that covered everything we wanted to say.

So, first of all, we agree with your main point! It would have been much nicer if Kartik Aaryan had learned and performed the dance himself. This movie is far from perfect at representing various identities, not just trans. You would have noticed this yourself, but bollywood has a track record of being bad with representation and the movie itself does other reps very wrong. To name just a couple, overall Bengali rep (randomly using Bengali words and sounds intermixed with Hindi) and using bits of Hukkus Phukkus (a Kashmiri song) out of cultural context. It's not a movie where the makers put a lot of thought into any of the identities they represented!

So then, how do we at the kaqcuille look at this movie? When we interact which SKTKS or BB3, we do it not because either are 'good rep' but its because we find potential for exploration in their stories and character arcs. We've adopted them because we want them and their queer identities treated right in a way that appeals to real queer people (us).

It is understandable if you feel betrayed by the double's IG post when Debu's dance was such an important point in your gender journey. That frustration is understandable, it would have held so much more meaning had KA did it himself. That being said, doubles and small time actors rarely get recognition for the work they put in and a part of us is ok if the double gets due credit for a standard industry job that she did in a mainstream movie!

We also understand having high expectations of KA as an actor because of the work he puts in in his dance numbers and movies in general. But we recently found out that for dance sequences in SKTKS where his abs show, KA was starved and dehydrated for hours and that left a bad taste in all our mouths. We had to take a moment before we could go back to appreciating the work he put in for SKTKS. It is valid to have high expectation of actors and we wish doubles and extras were unionized and getting due credit for all they do and what actors are expected of by current movie standards didn't come at the cost of exploitation. But we must remember when we interact with Bollywood's content, that there is an underlying exploitative, capitalist industry and we are going to see intersection of a myriad of issues when mainstream Bollywood chooses an identity or storyline for its character(s).

We understand and agree with your main points and hope this answer provides some more dimensions to think about as you wade through this 💜

#chahaa vani #eesha vani #kaqcu #prashn ka punchnama #bb3 debu #bhool bhulaiyaa 3 #kartik aaryan #original #nonbinaryathena

11 notes · View notes

bleue-flora · 4 months ago

Note

I didn't say they don't believe in the staged finale, but they think it's a retcon. A retcon is when something is added to the story that contradicts past information, rewriting it, so they think the finale was originally real and c!dream wanted to do all that, and only closer to the prison break, cc!dream decided to change that part of the plot or something

and it's funny because theories about the discs finale being staged started popping up literally right after that stream and a lot of c!inniters were making fun of or even harassing people who were creating such theories, and also, the content creators themselves admitted that it wasn't a retcon and that a limited circle of people knew about it, it was just kept a secret from everyone. I just really think it's pointless to talk to people who thinks everything is about c!tommy and who think that all of c!dream's actions are centered around c!tommy, that, well, they continue to believe that even though it's refuted by the plot and by the content creators and by the people who love and analyze the character.

it's just, ugh, what kind of conversation can you have with someone who believes that c!dream is a one-dimensional character who was only written to be obsessed with c!tommy and be the "perfect villain" for the "perfect victim", who believes that all characters are just an extension of c!tommy because to them c!tommy is all that matters in the plot. it's simple, these people hate dream smp and they don't care about the efforts of content creators to create interesting multifaceted characters, they are only interested in c!tommy. you can't get a sane dialogue from a person whose brain is so washed that he believes in the stupidest conspiracy theory in the world, and with some c!tommy fans the same🤷‍♂️

[context a & b]

Kinda the same thing isn’t it? Eh whatever. Regardless, you make a good point though I’d stray away from derogatory terms when talking about people’s opinions even if they aren’t based on fact. It’s honestly less of a conspiracy theory and more just ignoring the truth. Conspiracy theories are somewhat based on the unknown, in this case all the info we get comes from the same place - so you either believe streams and the cc!s and lore they make or you don’t and if you don’t then that’s not a “theory” that’s just an opinion based on misinformation and the lack of truth. Which you are right is rather unproductive to discuss if we can’t agree on the facts, but also we are on a public platform so I kinda see it as also having the discussion with all the other 400 something notes lol. Anyways, even if it was rather unproductive, I kinda came out learning something new and thinking about something in a new way, so I had fun which is the whole point of being here anyways. :)

Now what is kinda funny to me is this whole retcon, rewrite, discounting lore thing anyways, because for example c!Dream was originally supposed to fight with Pogtopia but because everyone was joining their side, cc!Dream had to switch to balance it out so they can even have a war at all and created the revive book so that it made sense for his character. So one of the moments I see used against c!Dream to show he is heartless and doesn’t care about friendship and stuff, is actually more so an instance of a rewrite… and yet we all take it at face value and base whole arguments on it, because at the end of the day, it is the lore we have. What’s interesting to me, is that part of the fun of the Dream smp is that it’s a mess, something cc!Tommy talked about recently. A mess, I personally like to take and look at things in a way to see if there are ways and angles where things can make more sense. That’s part of the fun of this crazy story telling. It’s why I started writing fanfiction in the first place, to fill in gaps or plot holes in lore. If you want a structured story more so centered around a protagonist’s specific suffering then go read Harry Potter (not to reduce that story to just that of course don’t come after me that’s not the point). But to take out things or not look at certain things in the context of other things that happened because they don’t follow the less messy dream smp timeline you’ve created in your mind, is to defeat the point. What will you decide wasn’t intended next, if Tommy burning down Tubbo’s house isn’t important, if staged finale wasn’t supposed to be a thing, then what about Tommy finding Techno’s house, didn’t cc!Techno say how that wasn’t supposed to happen? What about the revival book experiments, they were from a video not even a stream can I say those are a retcon and unimportant since the timeline doesn’t even make sense and actively contradicts itself? What about Tommy’s beach party, could the ccs just not come so they had to improvise and rewrite it so it’s empty on purpose? Like why are we deciding was is and isn’t lore or important lore? You wouldn’t discount a book or movie or tv show because it doesn’t make sense, you’d either try and understand how to make it sense or rewrite what you think would have been better - but at that point it is fanfiction it is your world now, you can do anything you want there but that doesn’t make it canon. Honestly to look at the dsmp as anything less than its entirety is a disrespect to the Tommy, to Dream, to Technoblade and everybody else c!s and cc!s alike. And that’s why I reblogged in the first place, because I felt like it was disrespectful to Technoblade and that felt very wrong to me. You can slander Dream all you want, but don’t discount or take away from part of Technoblade’s legacy.

#plus op private messaged me and was very nice so it felt more safe to discuss than with some of the more aggressive anon asks I have…#hello there #dsmpblr #dsmp #dream smp #did someone order an essay?#anyways… I learned something so there ya go. I don’t have a conversation with a person with an opposite religion as me to change their mind #but to understand them and see if they can understand me… we may walk away from the conversation just as head strong in our beliefs and #opinions as before but maybe we learned something or maybe we became stronger in our beliefs or maybe it resulted in us looking at things #in a different way than before #we need to stop fearing disagreements. if we surround ourselves with people who think the same things we are not going to be able grow #if someone is not hostile and open to talk then it’s okay to disagree. and not all conversation is about converting or winning #or proving your opinion is right sometimes it’s about understand where other people are coming from and why

12 notes · View notes

bnuunydoll · 6 months ago

Text

Gutsy Impressions: My Berserk Live Reading

Berserk was a series that I heard about and got recommended constantly but I didn't get the final push to crack it open until I saw my girlfriend constantly wearing adorable berserk clothes.

Since then I've been sending her and several other people my info dumps about moments that stood out to me and thought it might be better to toss those all in one place for convenience, with the added bonus of subjecting random people to my ramblings.

With that said... I just finished Episode 118: "Beast of Darkness" and thought it would be the perfect place to start things off.

A Quick Prelude

Berserk has been a very curious read for me up to this point. I thought I had a broad idea about some themes and some early plot beats that I got from some random youtube essay, but I wasn't expecting the story to resonate with me as deeply as it does. I was expecting a Dark Fantasy setting, maybe some fun fights, and a story about an overpowered hero with a rough past cutting his way through a world where even the tiniest particles feel hostile. Those expectations came from my time with several other manga from the era such as Violence Jack and Fist of the North Star, but what made Berserk stand out in the early chapters was just how...traumatized Guts is. And unfortunately haha, that's extremely relatable in more ways than I would like! (o´▽`o)

Those early chapters that filled out the Black Swordsman Arc showed a character that was really struggling and gave hints as to how he got to that point, and the following arc in Golden Age gave context to that hurt and everything surrounding it. While I'll probably turn my original text walls into posts eventually, I think the current arc I'm reading through is covering a topic I'm extremely interested in; A character recognizing that trauma and trying to change.

//Going forward will there will be discussion of Violence, Varying Kinds of Abuse, Trauma, and my own Personal Experiences alongside spoilers for whatever is discussed. Berserk is a really heavy series that feels and I don't expect that my rambling will be different! //

The Struggler

One of first pages of Episode 118 starts with a series of quotes I adore.

Delivered by the Skull Knight, I believe this serves as a thesis of sorts for Guts' story. He's a struggler, he struggled through violence and emotional betrayal his entire life and those struggles have scarred him in more ways than just physical. Despite that, I believe Guts has learned from this pain and is trying to find his own ways to stop this cycle of hurt from continuing even when it's killing him.

Finding your own way to stop a cycle of pain like that isn't easy though. It's really, really, excruciatingly difficult, actually.

And I think this page and several others like it are a beautifully tragic way of showing just how hard it is to persevere under those conditions. For Guts, this has been a nightly occurrence ever since he got his brand. Constantly hearing voices, swinging at shadows, having sleep be a luxury instead of a guarantee. He's always fighting and it's wearing him down.

These are all experiences that feel acutely personal and relatable, and those feelings of "god that's so relatable" is something that has elevated Berserk for me. When I see Guts go through this every night, I think "oh that feels like PTSD,,, like MY experiences with PTSD."

I can't claim to have gone through quite as much horrific content as the central character has, but the constants of fighting, sexual assault, the lack of stability, isolation, and the constant feeling of being in a crisis were the constants of most of my life. Anytime it felt like I was going to be escaping that cycle of misery through the help of someone new felt like I was just being tossed into a different wash cycle of suffering where the person would eventually leave after inflicting significant amounts of psychic damage. I felt a lot of companionship with Guts due to this, and especially his relationship with Griffith.

For context I am a transfemme thing that has effectively always been disabled and sick and also struggling to escape an abusive situation or even find a purpose until extremely recently in my life. In my life there were many people that Griffith reminded me of, and the end result of it was that I became extremely withdrawn and afraid of people to the point of becoming nocturnal just to lessen my chances of interacting with another living thing. It was a miserable way to live! (〃＞＿＜;〃) And whenever I did interact with people, I was always afraid of not just what they would do, but of myself and trying to avoid acting in ways that would hurt other people.

"Perhaps You Can Become A Real Monster" is a line that feels glued to the curves of my brain for that exact reason. I am in a much better place now with loving partners and friends but it's still hard to completely avoid that feeling that I could become just as terrible and abusive as the people that hurt me.

Although it is that topic of friends and loved ones that I believe the chapter touches on at the end. When Guts is feeling overwhelmed and crushed under the weight of these things that are haunting him, he ends up being saved by Puck and ends up accepting him as a companion.

This interaction between them feels special to me, and I think it points to a very clear message about dealing with pain and trauma. Much like I was, Guts' negative experiences were making him self isolate and pursue goals on his own with his own ways of dealing with pain. But this mindset which feels personified by The Beast of Darkness wasn't good for either of us. It's self destructive and exhausting and he can't keep doing things that way. The only issue is that healing is hard. When you lock yourself in a tiny apartment for 2 years like I did (or dedicate your existence to being alone and cutting down demons like Guts) the idea of accepting help or trying to form a new relationship is terrifying and difficult and might even be hurtful. But it's only because he had that relationship that he's able to make it through the night.

"Beast...? Monster? Heh! Screw that."

It feels kind of silly to type that out. That's how it always feels though, to go through a bad night full of awful thoughts and voices only to realize it wasn't rea . Unfortunately that is the struggle of trying to survive and move forward after going through so much. When I get bad nights and panic attacks like that, it feels like a nightmare. I end up living out tons of scenarios about how the same awful things will happen again and again, how I'll make the same mistakes over and over and everyone will leave, and how I'll end up becoming one of the same horrific monsters that caused my pain to start with. But the only reason I'm able to make it through and laugh at the end now is because I kept fighting and rejecting those ideas and eventually forming new healthy relationships.

~My hands kinda hurt I think I'm almost done yapping~

I love pages like this. Random one off pages with no dialogue that manage to perfectly capture a certain feeling. For me, that feeling is how it feels to be trapped under the shadow of trauma. I was suffering a lot at my worst, and I know a lot of people in my personal life are still suffering. It feels hopeless a lot of times...but that doesn't mean anyone should give up. If nothing else, Berserk has been a story about hope and survival, and the idea that you can always keep going despite how hopeless it feels, no matter how many scars you get along the way, is a message I wish I could have given a lot of people I used to know.

-Fin-

Woaw that was kinda dark!! (ᗒᗣᗕ)՞ but if you've made it this far I super duper appreciate it!! I think my media literacy and writing skills are kinda terrible awful lmao, but I do want to share what I get from different things I engage with anyway. I hope YOU have a wonderful day, make sure to come again for next time (´,,•ω•,,)♡

Make sure to get yourself a little treat today~ ૮꒰ ˶• ༝ •˶꒱ა ♡❤️

#guts berserk #berserk #griffith #manga #analysis #liveblogging

15 notes · View notes