#I don't WANNA sleep though
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dream wip
#wip#artists on tumblr#flotsam diaries#arrhghhgg happy I got the textures I was aiming for#I was gonna go sleep but eve's song kororon really got me :'D#cough you can see the full image on uh instagram story if you don't wanna wait haha#technically this one's not a wip but wanna draw some others/make it a set#might tweak the octo though#anyways nOW I will sleep#muffled laugh#edit: oh!! thank for you radar tumblr staff :0#but also radar putting my post tag ramblings on bLAST LMAO
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Cmon ribbons, smile for me!
#enifo art#Idk how to feel about this one there I so much I wanna fix but I don't have the time to#It is still pretty decent though it's just ugh there is so much I wanna fix but I need sleep too and I know I won't work on it tomorrow#ribbun#hehe >:)#gangle x jax#jax x gangle#<- Honestly it is just how you interpret it#tadc jax#jax fanart#jax#the amazing digital circus gangle#gangle fanart#gangle#tadc gangle#the amazing digital circus jax#the amazing digital circus#tadc fan art#tadc fanart
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Rui x Reader who is really affectionate, but can't touch him because of The Curse.
A/N: I'm alive!! Rui my beautiful beautiful tragic boy. I've actually been having a lot of brainrot for this game, particularly an isekai AU that made me contemplate making RP blog (I love you guys btw. This is probably my first fandom where they're so active, I've been really well connected with this fandom somehow and it's so fun!!), so I figured I might as well be writing it down now. This is an idea I've had spinning in my head for a while, so it's VERY self-indulgent/insert, but enjoy!! AO3 link here
Rui's POV. Second-person pronoun "You" is used. Angst! But also fluff!! (825 words)
You’ve always been an affectionate little thing. It’s something Rui finds adorable about you, staying optimistic despite all that looms over you, not letting any of the ghouls he KNOWS can be more than a little much sometimes destroy your positive attitude. It’s as if you decided to be the light in a place that literally has dark in its name, and he lov admires you for that.
He can’t help but feel the bitter green of envy though, when he watches you ruffle Lyca’s hair after he whines at you for treating him like a dog.
He pointedly turns away from the look Ed gives him over your head when you relax into his chest after he leans over your shoulder.
He just laughs along at your drunken antics when you nuzzle into Haru’s hand, somehow even more touchy when your cheeks are flushed with alcohol.
He tries not to remember the flash of hurt, confusion, the first time he’d backed away from your hand when all you wanted to do was give him a pat for a job well done. He doesn’t know if it hurt more when your face morphed into regretful understanding, or when you apologised and told him you’d try not to do it again.
Rui tells himself it’s for the better when he notices you’ve been avoiding him for the past week. He’d have done the same to you anyway, if he realised his feelings were starting to fester. He tries to not let it get to him when he hears you enter the Obscuary mansion, only to quickly patter up the stairs without stopping by the bar first, as you would have done previously.
Maybe before, he would have made it a little competition to see who could mess up the other’s hair more. He’d watched you run your fingers through Lyca’s after you’d tousled it out of place, anyway. Maybe in another life, you’d gently hold his face as you showered him with kisses. He’d do the same to you anyway, if he wasn’t forced to keep his hands to himself.
If he didn’t notice you hold your hand back every time you saw his mask slip. If he didn’t see your hand stop short before pulling it back to tell him he had a bit of hair out of place.
It’s all just part of the cursed life, he tells himself. He should be getting used to it by now, he sighs as he walks down the hall over to his room.
Behind him, he hears the jingle of the bell you like to wear on your keychain. He turns at the sound of your quick steps approaching.
“Rui! Ruiruiruiii!!” You call.
“Ah, there you are! Haha, I’m not going anywhere you know~ though I guess I don’t mind being chased?” He teases as you approach.
You smile up at him brightly, “I have something to show you!” You tell him, he notices now that you have a hand behind your back.
“Hm? Aw, did you get me a gift? And here I was thinking you were hiding from me!” He regrets the words the moment they leave his mouth. Your smile falters a bit as you blink at his confession.
But before he can backtrack with a “Just kidding!” your smile lightens again, eyes filling with some sort of resolve as you pull out… a glove on a stick? in your other hand.
He doesn’t pull away when he feels the simulation of a hand on his head. He can’t, when you look into his eyes with such unmistakable fondness. The awkward, stilted movements as you try to run the imitation hand through his hair communicates how long you’ve wanted to do this, and the tears that well up in his eyes betray how much he’s needed it.
He feels the cloth soak up the tears when you move the glove down to hold his face. It feels soft under his skin, and he can’t help but laugh at the absurdity of it all.
“How long did it take you to make this?” He asks as you let him lace his fingers with your hand extension. He squeezes the plush hand, feeling the soft give before it reaches the stick inside, inspecting where the glove and stick are attached.
“Um! A week? It took a bit of experimenting to get it to stay on… And they don’t really sell gloves on campus either.”
Your eyes crinkle when you look at him, the corners of your lips pull up triumphantly when he lets go of the hand to let you pat his head again.
“You deserve at least this much,” you tell him. “I know it’s not really the same or anything, but I don’t wanna leave you out, y’know?”
“It was worth it though, if it made you happy.” You look into his eyes as you say this, and he can’t help but believe you.
Reblogs and Comments are appreciated! I love you (◍•ᴗ•◍)✧*。
#Augh. The brainrot got to me guys. Also holy shit first full fanfic on this blog?? Hooray?? I've written and reblogged others from main but#A bit of an achievement! Really only wrote this cause I can't sleep lol#Actually this can?? be viewed as platonic??? I just like fics with pining and MC (Me lmao) is doing this as a friend who cares soooooooo.#If it matters at all#my writing#Nymphaea writes#Tokyo Debunker#Tkdb#Tokyo Debunker x Reader#Tkdb x reader#Rui Mizuki#Tkdb Rui#Tokyo Debunker Rui#Rui Mizuki x Reader#Tkdb Rui Mizuki x Reader#Shoulddd I tag the others? They're only mentioned though and I don't wanna be annoying#God Rui is such an interesting guy I hope I got him right#Whatever. There is enough love in fandom for me to be allowed to make mistakes#And anon told me I can do whatever I want forever!!#Angst#Okies if you got to this part I love you!!
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also:3333333333
#he really did just need me to beat his asshwtvshfvavsha#not so tough now are you little bird#nyehehehhehe#OK NO BUT I AM VERY HAPPY I GOT HIM FINALLYY HE WAS PLAYING HARD TO GET AND IT WAS VERY FUCKING ANNOYING#i spent.. so many tickets............#i think now i wanna prioritize jy#though i think i kind of need sunday's lc too bc i don't have anything good for him smh#WHATEVER WHATEVER THOSE ARE PROBLEMS FOR ANOTHER DAY#i really do need to go to sleep hhhhhhh#ilyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!#mayor of loserville
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Hands down, Give is one of Sleep Token's yearn-iest songs. Ever. It's not on par with TLYW, Jaws etc. (because that's a whole different layer of Sleep Token's yearning onion), but it's got a kick to it.
When I say that song is the epitome of desperate, I mean it.
Without thinking about it too much, the first time I listened to it my first thoughts were 'ah, okay, wanting to give all for your lover and be able to trust them, got it', but then I thought about it a bit more.
Like with all Sleep Token songs, it has a bit of an eerie undertone, which borders on slightly obsessive, depending on who you're talking to, with the lyrics. We have "I picture you when you are all alone", "I am the shadow, you're a passenger", "I'll be the limit of your light again" and, of course, "give me all that you can give" with "and if you want to give me anything, then give (give in again)".
Vessel is describing himself as literal darkness; he's a shadow in the gloom and whoever this is is a star glowing in the darkness. A light he aims to dampen because he wants a taste of that light. A taste of them.
However, it's this desperation for attention that gets me. "Give me all that you can give" is an easy example; he's desperately giving all he can possibly give in hopes of getting the same, or more, back. It's repeated over and over, half begging half demanding with soft dulcet tones and promises that he'll be watching for their enemies, to let them know that they contend with him etc.
Give becomes this two-faced thing of someone giving with all their might to someone who is afraid to trust, bringing up empathy from us, and someone who will not accept anything except everything. It's this sexually charged fight between who is a victim (or if there really is one here) and who is the abuser.
Further, to "give in" is to 'cease fighting or arguing; admitting defeat.' It's something primal and angry hidden under, or rather, mixed with passion, and it's incredibly well hidden.
#I know there is a bit of a divide between people who say it's just a passionate love song between someone who gives their all and is ->#only asking for the same back#Vs people who have the same ideas as me#so this is just my opinion!#would love to see anybody's additions or arguments for the other side though!#it does quite admittedly have me giggling and kicking my feet#'I will be watching for your enemies to let them know that they contend with me' had (still does tbh) me hook line and SINKER#and don't get me started on how he growls 'fibre from' in 'I'll tear the fibre from the filament'#it's this possessiveness and annoyance that's immediately hidden under 'I just wanna taste you better'#it's all these hidden little things that when you think twice about it it clicks#as per usual shout-out to Vessel for doing whatever the fuck he does with lyrics because I eat it up every time#give#give (song)#sleep token#st#sleep token analysis#sundowning#sundowning (album)#lyric analysis#mel's rambles
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bello
#i hope you're all doing well <3#im back? kinda? not really? idk :(#it was really nice to get a lil break and i did miss being on here a little but also#not really#literally whats wrong with me rahhhh#maybe its bc ive been so drained and so busy im just not in the mood for fics or simping or kpop in general but like yeah idk :/#im still really busy until i go home for break which is the 10th i think#so i probs wont be super active until that point but even then i don't know if i'll be on here a lot :')#i hope its just uni making me feel this way and ill wanna be back on here more over the break#we'll see though#take care everyone love youuu be kind to yourselves and eat well and sleep good and yeah <3333#misiu’s diary ♡
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Just finished Dream Productions on Disney+...
Disney and Pixar, I'm begging you for a plushie of Melatonin.
#inside out#dream productions#melatonin was the cutest dog!#i wanna see a plush of him on the disney store site someday...#pixar#who doesn't love a dog with magical sleeping powers?#though one question...#why don't mel's powers work on paula or janelle?#but they work on everyone else?
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im sad. extremely sad actually yeah. very sad indeedy.
#i am like so alone and sometimes ppl tell me that im not and theyre there for me but like#idk how to explain it#I don't want to talk to anyone or rely on anyone or be vulnerable with anyone because genuinely everyone is fucking mean#and ik thats some victim mindset shit. like usually im fine about it i can handle myself#but sometimes its just like idk :/ i wish ppl could be fucking normal and comforting and hold me and just not make me deal#with their shittyness. like its ok if ur a mean person or u wanna say mean things to me please just shut up and hold me anyway????#like its fine please godddd#i want human connection so badly but i doubt everyone and i never believe anyone and whenever i do its like im a fucking IDIOT#uvvhhghvhgh#guys its just my period coming i guess. im not actually this sad its just my fuckass bitch fuck stupid hormones#ugghhgnbjbjg#i havent made ny bed either. its just the bare mattress (which i find rly gross i always want the cover on it)#and ny clothes and shower items on it#i might just sleep luke this though using my hoodie and a pillow.
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the thing about me that i will say though, is that... i've never really thought about my pronouns, nor my gender really, i've just went with what i was referred to as i grew up because it never felt wrong at all, and it still doesn't.
but, with creating universe friday and being this anonymous... blob who could be anyone, look like anyone, sound like anyone, being referred to as the 'creator' and with they/them pronouns...
made me realise in a really weird way that i kinda fuck with that. but not entirely they/them pronouns on me, myself (at least not in a way i would push to be referred to as) but when people don't know me.
when people hear my name or a description of me and automatically call me by a 'gendered' pronoun i kind of hate it. not repulsed by it, but in a way that i almost want to be truly anonymous to anyone before they've met me. or even until i'm a lil closer to them. like i wanna be referred to as 'they' in the way you say, "who are they?" when you ask about someone who's gender you know nothing of. anonymity.
idk. there's just something that just feels so right about not being known and being allowed to pretty much have no gender or appearance. i fear this blog is teaching me more about myself than i ever would've expected Erm...
but also i feel like this happens every time the weather gets colder. does seasonal gender exist??? it does now. i just decided.
#the most lore drop you'll get from me#even though sometimes i do wanna say things about myself#how incriminating of me#this does not reveal anything about me at all#actually more reveals things to the irls who know this account whom i've never brought this up to before!#hey what's a better time than on my anonymous blog#eh i don't think any of them actually READ read it#fake fans really#but truly sometimes im like FUCK cause i can't say too much about me#well there are times where u can fully know where im based#u just gotta search for them now#but things like sexuality wise#having this platform i would love to talk about how my sexuality relates to my writing in the most unexpected way#but i fear i'd be saying too much .....#peace and love homies#i need to sleep#uni . tomororw. Eugh#universe friday#osemanverse#alice oseman#radio silence#aled last#universe city
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flipnote practice from today. yippee song: I've been nostalgic for other peoples childhoods all my life - patricia taxxon
#my doodles#flipnote#i wonder why i did this but didn't even do my favourite part of the song#whatever. i gave myself a time limit for this because i wanted to see if i could make a flipnote in a day#i got a bit lazy near the end ..#also sorry im not fixing the sound for this bc. bleeeeeh. i wanna sleep in like.. 20 minutes#and even though it takes like 5 minutes to fix the audio i just don't feel like it#i also do think the low quality audio of it all is a part of the flipnote charm#vin tag#oc tag
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Help, being eepy is no joke
#ratteni's chirps#shitpost#shitposting#I'm tired but I don't wanna sleep rn#babysitting my little sibling is exhausting! (even though it's fun sometimes)#I gotta a few last chores to do#and maybe play some games or smth like that#cuz yesterday I straight up crashed on my bed
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yes i only wrote one reply after i got home, but i wrote three today total... that's progress and more than yesterday!!
#i wanna ramble about chiyo and brainrot over her golden peaks verse specifically atm#but i almost fell asleep writing the tags of the reply i just posted so#i don't think i should try to write anything else even though i really want to :( especially bc my sleep hasn't been the best lately#i slept through nearly all of my alarms this morning y'all asdfg that's not a good sign#so i'm gonna get ready for bed and stare longingly at my drafts and daydream about our muses#until tomorrow friends <3 mwah mwah mwah!!#get ready to ramble | ooc
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Shoutout to the MDZS donghua for giving Wangxian their secluded home in the middle of nowhere, with a donkey and two bunnies. You dropped this, king 👑
#Some reordering of events at the end but i found them mostly okay?#It wasn't until i looked up the last episode of the untamed that i realized we lost the section in guanyin temple where wwx gets-#A guqin string around the throat. But tbf that was for novel's confession scene#The core reveal is after guanyin and jc takes it so poorly he goes into seclusion? Oof.#Lxc on the other hand looks better than expected. Even though huaisang had him kill jgy the same way#huaisang is outed as competent now lmao#Lwj actually told wwx the name of the song. Sigh. I had forgotten the untamed blueballed me on that#And they off they go into the sunset to their??? Home??? In the middle of nowhere with a donkey and a plot to farm??? Holy shit 👑#They split the drunk scene in two and then when lwj is sleeping it off post-guanyin lxc walks in and goes-#''do you wanna know how he got those scars?'' actually insane decision#But they get mostly the novel ending with a moment with a-yuan and THEN. into their HOUSE. With a DONKEY#Mf really gave lwj the reins and said ''now we're only missing a little one'' before a-yuan showed up#And right after a flashback of him and his parents with a donkey. Wow...#Donghua team really said ''two men a little one and a donkey. Can i make it ANY more obvious?'' and then gave them a HOUSE...........#I'll be going insane about this for the next two days don't mind me#Mdzs#Twilit posts
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I wanted to go on a drawing spree yesterday, but I could only muster these two before dozing off.
First one, even if I'm not that sure about how I drew her face shape in this angle (and most importantly I forgot her neck and torso bandages OOPS) I do really like how most of the drawing came out. And at least it isn't a bland bust this time, though I'm pretty sure I've already drawn a pose like this before. (Oh no the next drawing is a 3/4 bust again..)
Second, yesterday I saw an artist draw some of the coolest redesigns ever for a different media piece, and thought about the many awesome gg redesigns I often see so I wanted to give A.B.A a spin... Except I was out of ideas so most of this drawing is her regular design haha. I got too tired to even try to attempt to draw the rest of the body and half-assed the key but I like the vibes and pose (even if I.. think I made her neck a bit too long? Old habits die hard... Necks are my enemies when drawing!)
I like the idea of her having a key take on the classic frankenstein bolts (though wait, her head key is referred to as a screw. Would this also be a screw or key shaped bolts??-)
#this counts as a pride post because I am very gay for her#her uneven shoulders and stray eyebrow hair (like some d.bz characters <3) have captivated me#anyways sorry for being so wordy in the post... I will be wordier in the tags! sorry. feel free to skip these I'm just gonna ramble#while drawing these I realised I was accidentally doing a shitty a.b.a cosplay: eyebags. hairband. stitches and what Ishiwatari would call#morbid pallor LMAO. I admit I put on the hairband because of her <3 but the rest was unintentional. I hadn't worn one in yrs cause I don't#*didn't like how my hair looks w it plus felt kinda rigid but.. my current hair w a hairband is growing on me? prob not gonna wear it outsid#but thank u a.b.a for making me retry it <3. also the head feeling is kinda cool. though mine is of a hard material n I'm p sur hers is soft#anyways. I have one of this year's most important assignments/appointments tomorrow. wish me luck#after that I'll still have to go do productive adulting but I'll be able to sleep better n have energies n time to draw stuff n gaming#til that happens stuff is super hectic in all senses so drawing this goober is my escape valve. uh dunno what else. I'm tired#also oh I wanna take a moment to say thsnk u to all the people that like my art of her (and art in general but 95% art I upload her is her#LMAO) I don't wanna get parasocial but I do recognise your usernames and how u keep up with my kilometric tags. you make my day sometimes.#also huh my art (style?) got different lately. Idk how I feel. but drawing dif stuff is cool#wtf did I catch up the habit of drawing each hairstrand. my hand dislikes it. IMAGINE IF I DREW MILL.IA INSTEAD AAAAA#a.b.a#art tag2b named#edit for better term: thank youuu. may the homunculus obsession unite us all <3
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Tears in my eyes and a forced smile on my face as I try to ignore the crippling agony I get cursed with monthly
(Keeping it together cuz I genuinely don't have the energy to lose it)
(No I am not a werewolf)
#remus lupin#🤝#me#and all pussy bleeders#i cant even stand up to get drugs cuz i don't know if I'll make it back into my bed#cant go to sleep cuz the pain is crazy#i say that like i sleep anyway#or like i dont go through the same thing every month#literally just watching marauders edits on tiktok#scrolling though my saved#marauders era#periods#ugh#soneone get me a james potter#i just wanna be loved😭😭😭#i never loved anyone more than i love unhinged cr reg defending james#also cr james and sirius and remus#and also any fic of james and sirius being unhealthily codependent#idk if my bestfriend is still my best friend and im lowkey losing it#i cant tell if im going crazy or if shes genuinely a bitch#like i love her but damn has girl been pissing me off lately#but sometimes i get in a i hate everyone mood#and i love her sm but idk if i can trust her#and i just love pandora😭😭😭#also rosekiller is everything to me#also james and remus friendship is my life#also im still in sm pain#also im having an existential crisis#idk who i kin rn#its been going on for a while now
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Should make a pain killer that actually kills (or even touches) pain
#not that I have access to ultra hardcore stuff#but even when I had... pretty sure it was vicodine for my wisdom teeth; it didn't do a thing for me#cbd based stuff seems like it maybe helps; certainly does more than nsaids which do nothing for pain (great for inflammation though)#but I just... I'd really like something that actually makes my muscles and joints feel like... good; unpain#I'm sure it would be classified as addictive whatever it was but like... fuck man... I just want to not hurt#I can't tell if I have chronic pain cause... I kinda forget to pay attention when I'm hurting a lot of the time#I'll just... kinda realize I've been hurting bad all day and just not really focusing on it#and I also don't know how often it happens; if it's once a day or once a month or what; not great at noting that stuff down#but man... I don't even like most meds; so many meds either do nothing for me or make me feel like shit#like... benedril? however you spell it; someone gave me some once said it would help me sleep... help me be awake feeling like ass more lik#but like... love to see if muscle relaxants actually like... relaxed my muscles; but you get it; you get why I'll never be able to try it#though honestly I think therapeutic massage might help me a lot#but my doc says that really only gets authorized by physical therapy and... well for me physical therapy is useless#cause I forget to do the exercise; like it's me failing a physical therapy; not a probably with physical therapy#if I ever think I can keep up with it I'd love to try physical therapy for my back again; but I don't want to waste all my chances at it#not when... I descriptively didn't do it when I was in it before; I'd never remember to do any of the exercises#anyway; bonus story from when I was in urgent care when the infection came back (that's still never been solved)#I tell the doc 'last time it tore open a drainage hole it was the worst pain I've ever felt'... cause it was#I said 'I'll need something a bit stronger than an nsaid cause the nsaid did nothing but cut inflammation last time'#she's like 'don't worry; I got you'... wanna guess what she gave me? a newer nsaid#it didn't do shit; I was just lucky and it wasn't as painful... maybe the old drainage hole tore open easier this time#but I didn't even take the nsaid she prescribed; so I'm gonna say it wasn't that med helping#like I get it; you don't want to give opioids... and would it shock you to know that wasn't what I was looking for either#there's gotta be something between nsaid and fentynol man#...well... maybe the cdb has almost got my muscles... hurting less at least; only taken all this time I've been writing#they still hurt for sure... I don't know... get tired; you know?#mm tag so i can find things later
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