#I don’t want to talk about how long it took me to translate the English into Trollish

[karmathehalflander]

Jim did something reckless and Blinky got so mad the English language wasn’t enough. Jim is confused and concerned.

English translation of the trollish because I won’t make you do all that:

By Deya’s grace you could have been killed! Of all the stupid, reckless, irresponsible things to do! Don’t you ever run off like that again!  Actually you’re grounded! I’m not letting you out of my sight!  You are in so much trouble I can’t even-

[micer2012]

a reflection on MatPat's plagiarism

Hello, my name is Della, or micer2012, and 2 years ago Game Theory plagiarized three Tumblr posts of mine, making a video that now holds almost 6 million views.

My posts explaining his plagiarism made their rounds on Reddit, Tumblr and Twitter, but despite the Hermits and Pooka commenting on it (generally in support of me or saying they don’t know enough details about the situation to say either way), MatPat and his team have never owned up to anything, and no mention of my name is present on the video. The one Reddit post they made denying it (which was made before my detailed takedown, which they have never responded to (though the mods on the r/GameTheorists Reddit were kind and made sure it stayed up)) didn’t even mention me by name, just referring to me as “a tumblr user”. (Though one of the screenshotted comments in the body of the post does say my name)

This experience was baffling, but it’s overall had a positive impact on my life. r/Hermitcraft gave me a Golden Apple Award (post of the year, 2021). My inbox was filled with excited fans, wanting to ask me questions or pose their own theories, far more than the hate I got. (Though the hate I got from Game Theory fans was VERY funny. I wondered why none of them gave me shit about saying “MatPat misgendered Evil Xisuma” before realizing none of them read that far into the post.)

And getting on a more personal, and much more important note, I met most of my current online friends through this, including my partner. It helped me grow closer with my irl friends as well and gave me an entertaining story that I tell whenever I have the chance. It was one of the first things in my life that really made me feel like my talents, my autistic hyperfocusing and analyzing of things I love, could be valuable. Useful. Exploitable. It blew my mind that MatPat thought an autistic kid’s ramblings about a Minecraft Youtube joke character were good enough to steal. To put an audible sponsorship on. To get 6 million views off of.

And that’s why I’m writing this post, this update years later. As you might’ve been able to guess, Hbomberguy’s Youtube video on plagiarism reopened this wound. It was really hard for me to sit through, it took days of pausing and taking breaks, because I had experienced everything he was talking about firsthand. 

In my 10 page long takedown post, I wrote about how his rewording of my sentences made him say things that were incorrect, just like Filip did. The content farm production style that made big companies like Cinemassacre take one creator (AVGN/MatPat) and turn him and his content into a brand, a voice that reads out scripts by other people with other opinions/theories, is a history shared with Game Theory. What really hit me was Harris talking about how big creators only do this to people they think they can get away with doing it to. How they view their victims as lesser, as not deserving of their words, repackaging them as their own to give to an audience that can gain from hearing them, but deserves better than to have to listen to the original victim.

That’s the thing, I 100% think a video version of my theory to expose to a bigger community than “Evil Xisuma Fans on Tumblr” is a great idea!! Near the end of the video Harris talks about how video adaptations of things could be a great market, even an accessibility tool, and I completely feel that about my posts. I wrote them quickly assuming the reader was someone well versed on Evil Xisuma lore, after not even watching most of the CarnEvil series, and the diagrams I made to explain them are even less comprehensible. Harris makes a joke that I completely agree with, 

“I’m sure some of my videos would do very well if someone translated them into English.”

I don’t think I would’ve ever made my posts if I didn’t have autism, and a special fixation on Evil Xisuma and Hermitcraft. I made them because I felt the character was being done an injustice, and because I wanted to share with other superfans this theory that might explain it away. I do think that MatPat plagiarizing me was ableist. I used to wonder a lot if this would’ve happened if my posts were articulated better, if they had been peer reviewed, if the posts themselves had been spread to a wider audience before MatPat made his video. At one point when the discourse was fresh (before I had the time to write out my 10 page rebuttal), a bigger YouTuber (100k subs at the time) messaged me and started talking on Discord, interested in possibly making a video on the discourse, but I think my style of typing and general enthusiasm drove him away. You can tell by a single look at my blog (or my original 3 posts!) that I don’t usually type like this. This post you’re reading now has been peer reviewed and edited, and took me hours to format correctly. That video could’ve been huge, the entire outcome of this MatPat situation would probably be much different.

I also used to stress a lot about “being the one who ruined Evil Xisuma’s story”. If you didn’t know, to me S8 Evil Xisuma’s story got wrapped up pretty quickly and unsatisfying (in my personal autistic opinion). (though this might’ve been due to s8 being experimental and ending early with moon big) There was no real culmination of the plot points and arcs going on, and I don’t want to blame myself, but when Xisuma said on stream (when the MatPat thing was first going on) that he didn’t want to focus on the discourse or draw more attention to it, it makes a lot of sense to me that he just wanted to wrap it all up as quickly as possible. For a while I beat myself up about it, of ruining the story of this character I love, but it’s not my fault. If anyone’s, it’s MatPats, but I don’t think it’s useful to just blame someone else. That’s how the story ended up going, and that’s fine. This is Evil Xisuma we’re talking about, their inconsistent lore is what made them such an interesting character. And notably, Pooka made an animation with an awesome culmination of Jeff, the Dreamer, Evil Xisuma, and his own sona’s story, and it makes me so happy to watch. Whatever Pooka does is of course his own choice, but I’m glad he got to give this personal story his own ending (if it is an ending, and not just the start of a new chapter!). 

Typing this all out and getting it off my chest has made me feel a lot better. For a while I wanted to make my OWN video essay about Evil Xisuma’s lore and CarnEvil’s lore, actually going episode by episode to explain it instead of just assuming you knew as much about Evil Xisuma as I did. That idea is still not off the table, but MCYT isn’t something I’m that into right now. Maybe if something else comes out about Evil Xisuma I’ll get back on it, but for now I’m fine with letting that go. But I want to make other videos, share other theories and analysis… if I have the freetime I’d love to make YouTube videos, and if I don’t have the time I’ll continue posting to my tumblr and infodumping to my friends. Apparently my infodumping is valuable enough “content” to steal! Writing this out has made me feel a lot better though, I’m really glad I got it out.

If anyone ever wants to talk to me about the things I’m obsessed with, or reach out to me as a source in a bigger discussion about Game Theory or other channels, my inbox is more than welcome :] Thank you for reading! 

Sincerely, a tumblr user.

[adrienneleclerc]

hii i love your fics so much! i was wondering if you could do a latina!reader x charles fic were reader is asking charles juicy questions fans sent in or him guessing female products? i hope this make sense ❤️

I think I get it. I’m going to make Y/N like Kika, she has a heavy social media presence but is also a model.

Grill the Boyfriend

Pairing: Charles Leclerc x Latina!Reader

Summary: Charles fans have questions and Y/N will give them the answers

Warning: spelling and grammatical errors, a few +18 questions

A/N: sorry it took me so long, this was written on my phone

Y/N was setting up the camera and ring light in the living room so her new video would turn out well.

“Muñeco, are you ready?” Y/N asked,

“I’m coming!” Charles called out from his room before coming into the living room with a black shirt and gray sweatpants. “Do we have to film this today?”

“We don’t have to, but I want to get it out of the way.” Y/N said. Both sat down on the couch and Y/N clicked a button so it could record. “Hola, mis amores, if you’re new here, my name is Y/N and welcome to a new video. Today we are here with my boyfriend, the beautiful monegasque man who’s face card never declines, Scuderia Ferrari F1 driver Charles Leclerc.”

“Hello, everyone.” Charles waves hi to the camera.

“So all of you have sent me your questions on Instagram, and today we are going to be asking them, how are you feeling, muñeco?” Y/N asked.

“A little nervous.” Charles said

“We will start with an easy question, who is your celebrity crush?” Y/N asked.

“You are.” Charles said.

“Aw, that’s sweet. Mine is (your celebrity crush) actually.” Y/N said and Charles was offended.

“That’s how you want to play it? I change my answer, my celebrity crush is Camila Morrone.” Charles said.

“Oh my gosh, Charles, she’s my friend, you are never beating the homie hopper allegations now.” Y/N said and shook his head.

“Next question, please, before you give me a migraine.” Charles said.

“Very well, what is your favorite Måneskin song?” Y/N asked.

“Mm, i like zitti e buoni, mamma mia is very good too. Zitti e buoni is my favorite.” Charles said.

“Of course it is, there are so many edits of you to that song. I like supermodel and baby said, which is also used in your edits.” Y/N said.

“You watch edits of me, Mon coeur?” Charles asked.

“Next question!” Y/N exclaimed and Charles laughed at her abruptness. “Besides wiener dogs, what is your favorite breed?”

“I like all dogs honestly, I don’t have a favorite breed, but I always wanted a golden retriever.” Charles said

“That’s because you are a golden retriever boyfriend. I always wanted a Saint Bernard.” Y/N said.

“That’s because you loved Beethoven as a kid.” Charles said.

“I still love Beethoven, such a cute movie. Anyway, next question, if we broke up, would you try to date one of my friends?” Y/N asked and Charles covered his face.

“No I wouldn’t, all of your friends are in the states.” Charles said.

“So if one of them came here, would you go out with her if we broke up?” Y/N asked.

“Of course not! I would be trying to win you back.” Charles said.

“Okay then, do you think the car has gotten worse since Monaco?” Y/N asked. Charles paused for a moment

“Legally I can’t confirm or deny that statement. I think there are strategies that the team are implementing that only work in theory but not in practice and that’s causing poor results in races.” Charles said

“What a diplomatic answer, Mr. Leclerc. Based on your recent grill the grid video, have you ever thought about standing me up when we were first talking?” Y/N asked.

“No I did not think about standing you up at all.” Charles said.

“Más te vale, eh. Okay, this question is in Spanish, has pensado en tener una fiesta de despedida para Carlitos? Have you thought about throwing a goodbye party for Carlos since it’s his last Ferrari season?” Y/N translated the question to English.

“Yes, at the Ferrari garage, we’ve already started planning.” Charles answered

“Si, en el garaje de Ferrari, ya están planeando todo para Carlitos.” Y/N translated in Spanish. “Next question, do you like my cooking?”

“There’s no way they asked that.” Charles stated but Y/N showed him the Instagram inbox with the questions. “Does Charles like your cooking” Charles read. “I do like her cooking, she tries to make her cultural dishes fit into my diet and I appreciate that.”

“Thank you, muñeco.” Y/N kissed him. “What is your favorite sex position?”

“Why?” Charles asked facing Y/N. “Why do you need to know?” Charles asked facing the camera.

“They’ve asked this multiple times, the world wants to know.” Y/N said.

“Fine, I like Cowgirl, I like it when she rides me, I also like reverse cowgirl and doggy because I like seeing Y/N’s tattoo of my driver number.” Charles explained in detail and Y/N covered her face.

“Like Haley from One Tree Hill, anyway, what is one of your kinks?” Y/N asked.

“I like choking, hair pulling, being called sir.” Charles said.

“There will be no demonstrations. Craziest place you had sex?” Y/N asked.

“On the yacht.” Charles answered easily.

“I find it concerning how comfortable you are answering these types of questions.” Y/N commented. “Moving on, have you ever thought about marriage?”

“I have thought about getting married someday, having a family, 3 children like my mom did, a nice family dog.” Charles said.

“I’ve also thought about it, I think most women have Pinterest boards of wedding dresses, rings, centerpieces, shit like that.” Y/N commented. “Have you thought about moving away from Monaco?”

“I like Monaco, my family is here, I don’t think I can love somewhere else.” Charles said.

“Have you ever read fanfics about yourself?” Y/N asked.

“Im sorry, what?” Charles asked.

“Fan fiction, have you ever read fan fiction about yourself?” Y/N asked again.

“No I haven’t, but I admire the creativity all of you have.” Charles said.

“I have read fanfics about you.” Y/N admitted to Charles. “They are really well written on tumblr, you know.”

“Why read about me when you have the real thing, Mon coeur?” Charles asked

“Because I have trouble sleeping and I need something to read.” Y/N said. A few questions later, we are in the last question. “Are you excited for Lewis to join Ferrari?”

“Of course I am! We have talked a lot off the track, we are very good friends, I can’t wait for him to join Ferrari.” Charles said.

“And that’s it for this video, hope y’all liked it, make sure to like, comment, and subscribe. For more content, follow me on TikTok and Instagram, besitos.” Y/N said and stopped the recording. “Perfect! I just need to edit it and I can post it later. Thank you for being a good sport, muñeco.” Y/N said, kissing Charles.

“Of course, Mon coeur, anything for you. Now what were you saying about someone else being your celebrity crush?” Charles asked.

“Well they are my celebrity crush, you were my celebrity crush but now I’m dating you.” Y/N said. “You really think about marriage and having a family?”

“Whenever I picture myself having a family, you are right there.” Charles said, they shared a loving kiss. “You want to head out in the yacht today?”

“I would love to.” Y/N said.

The End

hope y’all liked it!

[librarygarten]

Hello, i loved all your LU scenarios, specially the ones where the chain reacts to their games, they were so well written.

I was wondering if you could do some scenarios where the reader talks about some Zelda trivia with the chain, like the development of some games (Majoras mask was made in just one year and the director of Zelda don't like it, there were supposed to be more dungeons in Wind Waker) or the reception of their releases (Four swords adventures sold less than a million copies, WW was poorly recieved unlike TP for it's art style, this changed as time passed, etc.), perhaps some easter eggs or cameos (Talon and Ingo looks like Mario and Luigi, Link appears in other games as a cameo).

Okay, but why is this lowkey me 😭. My autistic ass would NOT shut up about their games, even if I was telling them stuff they didn't want to hear about.

It was a peaceful day. The chain had found an inn to stay at for the night. Nobody was injured. Supplies and spirits were high. Until Wind decided to ask you a question.

“So, if our adventures are games, does that mean you know everything that happened during them? Like everyone we met, everything we did, EVERYTHING?” Wind asked. Some of the other Links brustled, clearly uncomfortable with the question and what you might say. You smile nervously. 

“Basically? But you don’t talk in the games, so I don’t know anything you said.”

“But who made the games? How do they know about our adventures?” Wind asked.

“Oooh boy.” You scratched the back of your head, “There’s a company called Nintendo, they made most of the Legend of Zelda games. I think Four’s games were made by a different company, though. That’s why some of the details are a bit screwy.”

“What’s that supposed to mean!?” Four snapped his head up to look at you, forgetting the weapon he had been working on.

“Oh, uh…” you stammered, “Well, the other company made your games, but they didn’t use the same stories as Nintendo did, so the lore gets a bit weird. Like, your Ganon is probably a completely unrelated guy from the Ganon that Time, Wind, Hyrule, Legend, and Twilight all had to deal with. The way he randomly turns into a pig in your game after getting that trident or whatever doesn’t match up at all with how Ganondorf turns into a pig after being sealed away by Time’s Zelda in an alternate timeline where Time dies during the final battle.”

“Wait, there’s a timeline where Time DIED?” Twilight is behind you now, and you’re not sure when he got there. You turn to look at him, his face full of panic.

“Yeah, Ocarina of Time kind of broke the timeline into three different paths. The game was so popular it became, like, the most important part of the timeline. It actually sold so well that the people who made the game made a sequel to it, Majora’s Mask, in under a year, which is kind of insane. For context, Ocarina of Time took over twice that long to make.” Time raised an eyebrow at your explanation, but decided he didn’t want to know more.

“Wait, if there are multiple timelines, how can you know which of our adventures are ours and which were just really similar? The many timelines means there’s infinite possibilities.” Sky asked, reminding everyone that he was the only Link to ever attend school (and remember it), and apparently he studied multiverse theory???? Moving on.

“Well, there are some differences between languages, I guess? Like, in the English version of Link’s Awakening, there’s a quest to get a mermaid’s lost necklace, but that was just a change the translators made. In the original Japanese, the quest is to get the mermaid’s bikini top.” You chatter on, missing the blush that creeps up Legend’s neck and ears. “And some of the items in Wind Waker are mixed around between the English and Japanese versions. Like maps, heart containers, and rupees are in each other's spots.”

“Can we go back to the part where there’s multiple Ganons, apparently?” Wild gripped the edge of the table, his knuckles white. You hadn’t notice him sit down. Actually, the whole chain seemed to be listening now. Wuh-oh.

“Oh, well, not at one time. Unless the dragon cutscenes from Tears of the Kingdom happen after Skyward Sword and Breath of the Wild is after all the other games. Then, Calamity Ganon was just kind of… chilling under Hyrule Castle while Four and Time dealt with their respective Ganons. But fans still argue about where your games fit on the timeline.” You shrug, trying to downplay how absolutely terrifying dealing with two Ganons at once would be.

“Wait, why do fans argue? Isn’t there an official timeline?” Hyrule asked. You groan.

“Yes, but it was published before Breath of the Wild was released, so we need to figure out where it is on the timeline based on the stuff in game, which is hard, because there's so many easter eggs.”

“Easter… eggs?” Warriors tilts his head.

“Items or decorations that reference other games. Like, in A Link Between Worlds, Legend’s house has Majora’s Mask hanging on the wall for no discernable reason. And in Breath of the Wild, there’s areas named after places in Link’s Awakening, like Koholit Rock and Goponga Island, which makes no sense because those places were dreamt up by a wind fish. Not to mention the fact the ruins of Lon Lon Ranch can be found, but there’s no way that structure would have been in as good of condition as it is for how old it is. And Lurelin village is an almost exact copy of Outset Island, but again, the timing is just too far apart.”

“But you never answered my other question.” Wind tapped your shoulder, stopping what would have been an hour-long rant on where Wild’s games fit on the official timeline. “How did ‘Nintendo’ or whoever else know about our adventures with that much detail?”

“UHHHHHH………. OH WOULD YOU LOOK AT THE TIME.” You quickly stand up from the table and launch yourself out the nearest window, escaping the conversation. (You were on the first floor. You’re fine).

[loganhowlettshousewife]

the librarian

logan howlett x latina!reader

summary: after the events of logan (2017), in a world where logan survives, he and laura move to a small town to start a new life. laura quickly becomes very attached to the librarian, and seeing you with his daughter makes logan fall hard.

warnings: swearing, insecurity on logan's part, potentially slightly out of character but i’m choosing to believe that logan softens up a bit after laura

this is the longest oneshot i've ever written so please be kind because it took a lot of time. my first language is not english, so please do not be rude when offering feedback. i am also not latina, so feel free to offer constructive criticism if you notice anything wrong in the fic.

special thank you to @raeinyourdreams for the spanish dialogue.

series masterlist - my masterlist

you love your job. the library is quiet, peaceful, and you spend every day surrounded by your favourite thing: books. those who come to the library are typically kind, hardly do you have to deal with rude comments or entitled behaviour. you get to plan fun events for the towns kids and toddlers to introduce them to the joys of reading. and on every school day, between 3:00 and 4:00 pm, you get to see laura howlett.

the first time she came into the library, it wasn’t planned. you live in a small town, with an even smaller school, and when laura’s dad failed to show up on time to pick her up, she was sent over to the library next door. she’d stomped through the automatic doors, her small frame tense with irritation, her jaw clenched, slamming her bag down on the ground beside her as she sat down at one of the small circular tables set up in a corner of the small building.

she crossed her arms and stared at the door as if her dad might finally show up if she thought about it hard enough, never sparing you a second glance. so you’d left her alone to stew in her rage, putting away books from the return pile, glancing at the clock every few minutes.

you couldn’t hide your staring when her (extremely attractive) dad finally showed up, heavy footfalls crossing the doorstep and thick, tanned biceps filling your vision. laura cursed at him in rapid spanish, and he grumbled that he didn’t understand a word she was saying. you giggled to yourself at the thought that you never would have gotten away with using such language at her age.

the next time you saw her was a week later, and this time, despite her heavy glare and intense ‘don’t talk to me’ attitude, you approached her. her gaze was suspicious and distrusting as you spoke, asking her in your native tongue if she wanted a book to read while she waited. she’d stared at you for a long minute before saying, “¿hablas español?”

she slowly opened up to you after that, like a flower blossoming in the springtime, short sentences turning into longer rants, into admittance of her inner thoughts and worries and struggles. you give her book recommendations that are popular within her age group and help her with her homework when she struggles with the material, translating words she doesn't understand perfectly. in return, she tells you about her school and home life, about how she’d moved here with her dad, about how she’s only really known him a few months.

you don’t know her past, only the glimpses she’s given you here and there, anecdotes she drops into conversations before changing the subject just as quickly, but you know that she’s struggled with adjusting to all the changes in her life. you’re grateful that she’s allowed you such insight into her mind, that you can help her even in small ways. you can’t help it - she’s wormed her way into your heart, with her quick quips and short temper and snide comments.

“¿crees que mi papá es guapo?” she asks you suddenly. it’s an evening like any other, the two of you working through her science homework together. you choke on your saliva as an image of logan howlett flashes through your mind, his stern face and the hard intensity of his eyes, his large stature and broad back that you always watch, entranced, when he walks out of the library with laura in tow.

“¿por qué preguntas?” you ask her instead of answering as you erase a mistake on her paper, blowing away the leftover scraps the eraser leaves behind.

“las mamás de thea estaban hablando de lo guapo que es.” laura replies, a grimace twisting her face. her eyes narrow as she observes your carefully blank expression. “¿tu opinas igual?”

you shake your head, clacking your tongue against your teeth, “mejor concéntrate en tu tarea.”

the howletts live two houses down from you, on a street of mismatched suburban houses and carefully manicured lawns. sometimes you’ll see logan outside, smoking a cigar on the porch in a thin wife-beater that shows off his large arms, watchful gaze observing the neighbourhood as though surveying the area for potential threats. 

he seems oblivious to the stares he receives from both women and men passing by, walking their dogs or going for a jog, faltering when they pass his house, interest and attraction and jealousy, staring for a few moments too long to be casual. he never gives any of them the time of day, doesn’t respond to their small-talk questions or smiles. his frown just deepens, putting emphasis on the lines that mark his face, a physical manifestation of a life of constant worry and pain.

you’re admiring him from afar as you often do, peering through the window above your sink as you rinse your dishes, when you notice a gorgeous woman approaching his house. she’s all long legs and glowing dark skin, walking right up to him with all the confidence in the world.

and logan howlett, the brooding, mysterious man who keeps to himself and hardly interacts with anyone unless absolutely necessary, smiles at her. it’s a barely-there expression, a softening of his usual gruff persona and resting bitch face, but you notice it nonetheless. the woman is clearly emboldened by his response and leans into his space as she speaks, pressing a hand to his bicep, skin against skin, mouth moving in words you can’t hear.

you look away, pulling the curtains closed on the window, preferring to watch the pale fabric sway slightly than whatever interaction is happening there. you scrub your dishes a little harder than necessary after that, but no one is there to see it but you.

laura packs up her bag, shoving the papers inside randomly, no reason or order to it. you grit your teeth at the thought of how wrinkled and disorganised it’ll all be later, when she needs to find something specific or when it comes time to hand in her work to her teacher, but you keep your mouth diligently shut, because if there’s one thing you know about laura, it’s that she’s stubborn and temperamental and doesn’t take well to criticism.

logan stands beside the front desk, not far from where you’re flipping through the pile of books that had been returned while you were busy with laura, his hands on his hips as he watches her somehow both rush through the task and simultaneously take much too long to complete it. there’s obvious adoration in his eyes, a fondness that can’t be faked by the best of actors.

“do you-,” he starts, stops, an unfinished question that lasts a few seconds while he chases the right words, “laura really likes havin’ you around. talks about you a lot when you’re gone. so i - uh - wanted to invite you over to dinner. no pressure.”

you beam, books all but forgotten, “really?”

he grunts in response, shrugging. it’s not much as far as responses go, not terribly enthusiastic, but he wouldn’t have brought it up to you if he was against the idea, you assume. so you place a hand on his arm, more for your sake than his, enjoying the feeling of his sun-warmed skin and the smooth dark hair against your fingertips, catching his attention so his eyes fall on you instead of laura.

you think of the woman you’d seen speaking to him a few days ago, and a thrill runs through you, a stupidly possessive thrill that you have no right to feel. there’s nothing going on between you and logan, just mutual care for a troubled girl who hasn’t made any friends in school even after weeks.

this is for her, you tell yourself. to make sure she has a support system, people she trusts, to hopefully get her to open herself up to the possibility of other relationships, friendships with children her age who can help her learn what it means to let go and be a child for a bit. but in your mind, there’s still a rather large part of you preening at the fact that you’re going to have dinner at the howlett’s, and you bet that other woman can’t say the same.

“just let me know when,” you say, “i’m not typically very busy so whatever works on your schedule.”

“¿podría ser hoy?” laura asks, bounding up to the two of you, “porfis.”

you can’t say no to her wide eyes and hopeful smile, so you close up the library early. it’s fine, you live in a small town and no one ever really visits the library late at night anyway. the only person who may want to visit has her own key, a copy you’d made after finding the same teenage girl sleeping on the floor of the library six days in a row, having broken into the building each time.

it’s a short walk to the howlett’s house, laura talking your ear off the entire way there, ignoring the looks logan shoots her when she inevitably switches into spanish seemingly without noticing. but you know what it’s like to speak more than one language, you know the way conversations flit in and out between languages, and you can tell it’s often purposeful, done to get a rise out of logan.

“it’s good that you can understand her,” logan says as he unlocks the front door, his daughter running into the house and leaving the two of you behind, “i can’t, half the time. probably makes me sound like a shit dad.”

“it doesn’t,” you assure him, “laura talks about you all the time when you’re not around and she thinks you’re wonderful. she said you’ve only been in her life a few months? you can’t be expected to learn a whole language in that time.”

logan ignores your praise just as you’d expected him to do, “i think you remind her of home. it was fucked up but there were good parts. and i took her away from there. i did it for her but she still had to leave everythin’ and everyone she knew.”

“i’ll gladly be that piece of home if she needs it,” you say softly, “you got her out of a bad place. i don’t know much but i know that. her home is wherever you are.”

talking to logan is frighteningly easy, and the conversation continues as he heads into the kitchen. their house is nice, clean but sparsely decorated, not the artfully minimalist look of a magazine cover but rather the home of someone who never really knew how to settle down, how to allow a place to become more than just a shell, a temporary refuge to eventually be left behind. it screams logan, and makes you wonder what exactly he’s been through. 

but laura’s things are strewn around the place, a jacket of hers thrown on the couch, comic books that have seen better days piled on the coffee table, school papers on the countertop. it chases away the cold feeling that would otherwise linger between these walls.

you help logan cook, not willing to stand around doing nothing while you wait for the food to be ready. you admit to him that you’re surprised at his talent in the kitchen, and for a moment his jaw tenses like he’s going to tell you something difficult but he doesn’t. his arm brushes against yours as you hand him the spices that he requests, and goosebumps raise on your arms at the feeling.

laura eats like she hasn’t had food in days, and says the meal tastes better because you helped make it, which makes you laugh and logan roll his eyes. chiding laura on her table manners reminds you of your childhood, and an image flashes in your mind, unbidden, of you in this very same setting but as laura’s mother and logan’s wife.

it’s a vision you push away, one you’ll allow to linger as you’re falling asleep but that has no place in your thoughts now.

“next time we should do this at my house,” you comment, without really thinking over your words, your attention on laura and logan’s hand that lingers close to your thigh under the table, not touching you but present enough to offer a good distraction, “to make things fair, i mean.”

“next time?” logan repeats, and you falter, realising what you’d offered. there’s a familiarity in the way you’d made the offer, a throwaway comment, a familiarity that doesn’t exist between you and logan - at least not yet.

“if you’d want,” you offer slowly, “and if laura wants. i just - had fun tonight. it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world to do it again.”

and you do. approximately once a week you start to have dinner with the howletts, switching between their place and yours. they’re a familiar presence in your life now, enough that you don’t startle when one of them sneaks up behind you, impossibly light on their feet, the stealth of hunters stalking their prey. you’d told this to logan and he’d raised an eyebrow at you and smirked but refused to explain his reaction to your words.

you start to teach logan recipes from your childhood, the sweet spices and flavours that bring you back to being laura’s age filling the kitchen. you argue with logan about not needing a recipe, saying you just know when it’s right.

though she never comments on it, you see the way laura’s smile brightens every time you place a dish on the table. you hope it brings her a modicum of comfort, reminds her of her place of birth the way it always does for you.

you haven’t felt so free in a long time, and you come to the belated realisation that you’ve been lonely lately, something you can only differentiate now that you feel it shifting. you love your friends but they have busy lives of their own, and you love your library but books can’t compensate for human contact, try as you might. 

“te noto estresada,” laura comments, poking your hand when you stare off into space for the third time that day.

“lo estoy,” you respond, “se averió una tubería y ahora tengo que llamar al plomero, pero no quiero..”

most kids wouldn’t care to have a conversation about these more monotonous, adult subjects, but laura pauses in her homework to give it a genuine reflection. she taps the eraser-end of her pencil against the table, nodding to herself like she’s just come up with an obvious solution.

“no tienes que. mi papá sabe reparar cosas,” she says, “pídele el favor.”

you hate to take advice from a child, even if that child is laura, who often acts much older than her age, and you hate to bother logan even more, but you don’t make much as a librarian and if there’s any way to save some extra money, you’re willing to embarrass yourself in front of the hot man you may have a slight crush on. 

you broach the topic when he comes to pick her up as usual, and to your surprise, he agrees easily. you don’t even have to ask the question, as soon as he’s heard the problem he’s offering up his help.

he shows up at your house later that night, deeming it fine to leave laura home alone since there’s only a 40% chance she’ll break something. he’s dressed in only a thin wife-beater, biceps on full display as he hunches under your sink, the muscles in his back flexing as he works. you stay in the kitchen, using the excuse that you should make sure he’s not making it worse, but spend the entire time staring at the shape of him, large and broad and everything you want.

“thank you,” you tell him when he’s finished, handing him a beer that you’d bought specifically for when he showed up at your place.

“no problem,” he says, shrugging, not making eye contact with you in a way that’s uncharacteristic of him, “no point havin’ you pay someone to do it when i can do it just fine.”

“but you had no obligation to help me,” you remind him softly.

“you help me all the time,” he responds gruffly, “you deal with laura’s shit and don’t complain. you spend time with us even if you got your own life to worry about. it’s only fair.”

you frown at that, “i enjoy spending time with you, logan. it’s not a favour of some kind that you have to repay.”

he grunts an acknowledgement that you don’t quite believe, quiet as he finishes the rest of his beer, and then he’s gone.

it’s hard not to know everyone in a small town, forcing you to make polite small talk with people you walk by who ask about your life and your family and friends and how’s your job going? it’s frustrating, one of the reasons you plan your errands for later in the evening, when the crowds are thinner and most of the people in the grocery store are people like you, who don’t want to be bothered, and teenagers wreaking havoc in the aisles.

you’re looking at fruit when you hear someone call your name, a voice that’s not immediately familiar, which raises alarm bells in your mind, the sound crescendoing into a siren as the click-clack of heels approaches. you resolutely keep your eyes in front of you, hoping that if you look very busy choosing avocados, perhaps you won’t be bothered.

this technique fails immediately, a woman coming up to your side and picking up the avocado you’d just put back, squeezing it to check if it’s ripe. the act is innocent, trying to put you at ease, but you know better. if she was just here to grab groceries she wouldn’t have called out your name, wouldn’t be tilting her head towards you with a saccharine smile.

you’ve seen her around, though you can’t remember her name, an older woman with two boys whose divorce was the talk of the town for a few months last year. from afar she appears put-together, dressed in business-casual attire indicating that she hadn’t had the time to change from her work clothes, blonde hair slicked back into a bun. but up close you can see the strands of hair that had begun falling out, the way her eyes were tight at the corners. a tired single mother.

you feel a pang of guilt at the way you’d immediately wanted to dismiss her, remind yourself that you have the day off tomorrow so you can sleep in, and smile at her.

“so, i heard a rumour, and you know i’m not one to gossip,” she glances your way expectantly, so you prompt her to continue, “which is why i’m asking you directly. you and logan howlett… do you have something going on?”

you pause, considering. it wouldn’t be a lie to say yes, as there is something going on between you and logan, though you know how she’ll interpret the words. you know that she would return home and immediately call everyone she knows to spread the news, and since the townspeople hadn’t left logan alone since he’d moved here, it would eventually spread to him, someone or another asking him about it, pressing for details.

“we’re… friends,” you settle on eventually, “i help laura with her homework sometimes after school and we got to know each other from that.”

it’s a truthful answer, if not deliberately vague. you hate to be the center of drama or attention - there’s a reason you chose to work at a library, quiet and unassuming and not interesting enough to be the subject of speculation.

she giggles, a true laugh, her expression softening with a hint of relief. she bumps you with her shoulder as if speaking to a longtime friend and says, “well, just between you and me, i know a lot of women who are going to be relieved to hear that.” 

you and logan grow closer, to the point where laura no longer initiates most of the time you spend together. you introduce him to your favourite movies when he mentions how long it’s been since he watched one, evenings spent giggling at the television screen while laura sleeps upstairs, having gone to bed long ago.

hours pass so quickly with logan by your side, until the sky resembles a painting, and he walks you home under the constellations of stars. he hangs by the door for a while longer, the both of you drifting, not quite ready to part ways, but you both have jobs in the morning and so you reluctantly bid him goodnight, letting the door to your home shut behind you, hiding the way you beam when he says it back.

dinner comes and goes like any other week, and soon enough you’re standing in logan’s kitchen helping him clean the dishes. this is the part where laura leaves the two of you alone, not wanting to be dragged into the chore, slipping out in that creepily silent way of hers.

there’s a tension that clings to logan tonight, a darkness that’s permeated over the evening, one you’d noticed when he’d come to pick up laura from the library and had almost said something to you but stopped. it wasn’t unusual for logan to be silent, letting you fill the majority of the conversation with your stories and laughter, responding with comments that make you laugh, proud smiles tugging on his lips when your body curls into him.

you’re not surprised when he puts the final dish in the washing machine and turns to face you, something akin to determination in his eyes, though you hardly know anything that could be the cause.

“another parent asked me out today,” he says, “the mom of someone in laura’s class.”

“oh,” you say, certain being stabbed in the heart would hurt less. you’re suddenly slightly nauseous, and you briefly consider using it as an excuse to go home early, but you’re not a coward. you won’t run from a conversation that’s inevitable.

one day logan will meet someone, whether that day is today you aren’t sure, and he’s going to fall for them. you consider the possibility that that person could be you, but you’re normally good at reading people, at seeing the subtleties in body language to indicate attraction, and logan has never given you any signs of your feelings for him being reciprocated.

it could be that he’s generally just a difficult person to read, that over the course of his life he’s had to learn to bury his emotions in a way many people don’t. it’s possible, believable even, with how long it had taken you to learn the intricacies of his expressions, the way the slightest tension between his brows could mean several different things. or, you think, he’s just not into you.

“is that good?” you ask, instead of voicing your current thoughts, which are a mantra of: fuck, fuck, no, fuck, please no.

“no,” he replies like it should be obvious, “her son is an asshole who tried to bully laura on her first day of school. she punched him.”

“good for her,” is your only reply.

you feel awful for the way his vehement denial makes you feel, a pleased warmth spreading in your stomach, a happiness you’ll carry with you all the way home. it’s not your place, and yet here you are, hoping that he doesn’t find love, thinking that you’d rather he be alone forever than with someone other than you. it’s selfish, cruel, makes it hard to keep your expression neutral over the disgust you feel at yourself rising.

logan’s watching you carefully, “it is good for her. she almost got suspended but i think even the principal was afraid of her.”

the conversation pitters out, your answering hum the only reply you can give with your mind wandering. it’s the perfect time to ask, the conversation relevant enough that it won’t be coming out of nowhere, a casual query that he can refuse to answer if he so desires.

“but otherwise,” you say, “if there was no history between her son and laura and she’d asked you out, what would you have said?”

“no,” he says again. quick, easy, painless and yet horribly painful for you.

“is there anyone in town that you’ve noticed?” you ask because you can’t help yourself, the pull of curiosity is too strong, almost as strong as the pull that always brings you into logan’s orbit when you stand close enough, bringing you unconsciously closer.

there’s a pause long enough to make your heart race, the beat so loud you can hear it ringing in your ears, a hard rhythm that’s much too rapid to be healthy. you wonder what logan can see on your face, following the way his impassive gaze traces over you, catching on your eyes and the quirk of your mouth.

when he speaks at last you can hardly hear it over the rushing sound of your anxiety. “i’ve noticed you.”

“what?”

“you,” he repeats, shrugging like it doesn’t matter, “but i’m old and worn. too much for a pretty thing like you. and there’s so much you don’t know about my life, horrible shit i’ve done that’ll make you look at me different. i’m angry and violent and i drink too much to deal with my emotions, even if i’ve cut back since laura. and her, laura. i got a kid now. can’t force that responsibility onto you too.”

you lift a hand up, silently asking him to stop, to allow you time to process the words you’re fairly certain were not a hallucination. he refuses to look at you, jaw clenched, staring instead at his hands the way one would stare at a murder weapon, an angry glare that speaks of hatred, pain and resentment.

it’s that look that makes the decision for you. you place your hand on top of his, dark glare now pointed at your hand, faltering when your fingers trace the grooves between his knuckles. you allow him a moment of silence to process, content to wait now that your mind is no longer racing, overthinking every breath and creating unlikely scenarios. rather, you feel calm, and you hope that the way you squeeze his hand transfers some of that peace to him.

“is this your version of asking me out?” you ask when his eyes lock on yours, a raging storm hiding behind the calm facade of his careful mask, “because normally people don’t try to convince the other person to say no.”

“i’m not asking anything,” he replies, voice hoarse, “i know how i feel about you. but i’m a mess and i can’t ask you to deal with that.”

“alright, well, even if you’re not asking this is me saying yes,” you tell him, turning his hand so his palm faces up, lacing your fingers together, skin still slightly damp from the washing you’d been doing.

he doesn’t let go of your hand, but he changes the subject. you don’t argue. logan has some sort of feelings for you, though he hasn’t put them into clear words, and for now, that’s enough. you can wait while he wades through whatever self-hatred spiral is happening in his mind, the excuses he’ll give you for why you can’t be together. because he was holding back before, when he’d explained why he wasn’t good enough for you. he’d forced himself to stop talking, but you can tell there’s more behind that angry rant.

so instead of pushing, you let the rest of the evening pass as it usually would, playing monopoly with laura, her temper rising when the game doesn’t go her way, cussing at the board in spanish. she’s creative with her insults and you press your lips together tightly to hold back a laugh. you’re certain logan knows what she’s saying, or can at least make an educated guess, but he doesn’t comment on it.

she heads upstairs when she loses, stomping her feet down on every step, a strange contrast to how she often moves like a shadow. you’re content to let her walk away, knowing the anger isn’t real - she’ll grumble and stew in the loss for a bit before moving on as she always does.

“you need to know what you’re getting into,” logan says, and it takes you a while to piece together what he means, your earlier conversation pushed to the back of your mind during monopoly. “if you agree to this and then realise it’s too much and leave - i don’t think laura’d be able to handle it.”

there’s an unspoken, and me, in the way he watches you, vulnerable, something logan loathes to be. so you wrap your arms around him, not for the first time, but it hasn’t yet lost its novelty. you feel his body heat despite the layers of clothing separating the two of you from making direct skin-to-skin contact, sighing in pleasure as you relax with your head on his chest.

“we’re not strangers logan,” you say, “i know who you are, how you treat me, how you treat your daughter. and if more of this is what it’s like to date you, to be with you, i don’t see myself leaving.”

diversity december taglist: @raeinyourdreams @meetmypointlessaddiction @chubbyhedgehog @yxtkiwiyxt @isepod @dis-plus-fanfic-reblog-writes

latina!reader taglist: @naggywaggy @mami-veracruz @spencerswh0r3 @gl1ndathegoodwitch @taextannie

[you-have-a-metal-arm]

Moonlight Confessions

Pairing: TASM!Peter x Bestfriend!Reader

Word Count: 0.7k

Trope: Friends to Lovers

Warnings: Tooth-rotting amount of fluff

Summary: Peter’s always there for you when it’s hard. But this time, Peter’s the one making everything hard, until he doesn’t.

Author’s Note: Please do not copy or translate my work. English is not my first language, so please understand grammar or spelling mistakes.

This fic was in my notes for so long, and I finally decided to finish it. Enjoy!

The city lights of New York twinkled like a thousand stars, casting a shimmering glow over the sprawling metropolis. From the rooftop of an old brownstone apartment, the distant hum of traffic and occasional chirp of a night bird provided a soothing backdrop. You sat alone on the rooftop, your gaze fixed on the sprawling city below, lost in thought. The cool night air brushed against your cheeks, but it did little to soothe the weight on your heart.

It had been two weeks since you last saw Peter Parker. His absence felt like a void, amplified by the emotional strain you were feeling. The B on your recent test, while not disastrous, felt like a personal failure. And missing Peter, your best friend and confidant, only deepened the ache.

The rooftop door creaked open, and you turned sharply to see Peter stepping out into the moonlight. The night had cast a soft glow around him, highlighting his tousled hair and the warm, genuine smile on his face. In his hands, he held a bouquet of sunflowers, their bright yellow petals stark against the darkness.

“Hey, Y/N,” Peter’s voice broke through the stillness, carrying a note of concern and warmth. “Sorry it’s been so long. I thought you might like these.”

Your eyes widened in surprise as he approached, the sight of the flowers lifting your spirits despite the heaviness you felt. You took the bouquet from him, your fingers brushing against his. “Peter, these are beautiful. Thank you.”

Peter sat down beside you, the night casting soft shadows across his face. His usual playful demeanor was tempered by genuine concern. “So, what’s been going on? I’ve noticed you’ve seemed a bit off lately. Anything you want to talk about?”

You hesitated, the cool breeze making you shiver slightly as you clutched the bouquet. The B on your test wasn’t the only thing troubling you. It was the emptiness of missing Peter and the struggle to keep your emotions in check. You wanted to be strong, but Peter’s presence was a comforting balm.

“I—I’ve been feeling a bit down,” you began, your voice shaky. “My grades are okay, but… I’ve been struggling with other things. It’s hard to explain.”

Peter’s expression softened, his eyes filled with understanding as he reached out and took your hand. His touch was warm, a stark contrast to the cool night air. “Y/N, you don’t have to face this alone. If something’s bothering you, you can always talk to me. I care about you, and I want to help however I can.”

Your eyes welled up with tears, and you struggled to maintain your composure. Peter’s concern was more than just friendly; it was deeply personal and sincere. You had always admired his kindness, but tonight it felt like something more.

“I didn’t want to burden you,” you whispered, your voice trembling. “I know you’ve been so busy…”

Peter shook his head, his gaze intense yet gentle. “You’re never a burden. You’re my best friend, and you mean a lot to me. No matter how busy I am, you’re important. If you’re struggling, let me be here for you.”

Tears finally escaped your eyes, but they were accompanied by a soft, grateful smile. You looked at him, feeling a rush of emotions. “Peter, I—”

Before you could finish, Peter cupped your face gently in his hands. The moonlight seemed to make the moment even more magical as his lips brushed against yours in a tender, heartfelt kiss. It was soft and sweet, filled with unspoken promises and emotions that had been building up between you. When he pulled back, his eyes searched yours with a mixture of hope and longing.

“You mean so much to me, Y/N,” he murmured. “I’ve been wanting to tell you this for a long time. I care about you more than just as a friend.”

Your heart raced, the butterflies in your stomach fluttering wildly. The relief and happiness you felt in that moment made everything seem right. “Peter, I—”

He pressed his forehead against yours, his gaze never leaving yours. “Just know that I’m here for you. Whatever happens, you’re not alone.”

In the quiet of the night, with the city lights shimmering around you, everything felt perfect. You felt a sense of peace you hadn’t known in weeks. Peter’s embrace was a comforting reminder that, no matter what, you would face everything together.

Thank you for reading!

[kimi240302]

Craving

A/N: Before you read this story, be aware I am from Germany and can't write a bit of English. That's why I'm sending this through an app that translates it for me.

A/N2.0: In this story, the characters are all a little older.

Summary: Y/N Swan tries everything to keep her promise to stay away from Demetri Volturi. But can you stay away from the man fate bound you to?

Demetri Volturi x Female!Swan!reader

Words: 3,4k

Main Post / Twilight Masterlist / Request list / Playlist 

Part 2 of Daylight Masterlist 

18+ I am new to the whole smut writing so please be nice  

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Tellin' myself it's the last time Can you spare any mercy that you might find If I'm down on my knees again? Deep down, way down, Lord, I try Try to follow your light, but it's night time Please, don't leave me in the end

- David Kushner 

"Y/N?!”

Startled, the young girl flinched. Her gaze, which she had directed outside the entire time, turned to the whiteboard, and therefore to her scowling teacher. When Y/N noticed that the whole classroom was looking at her in a wait-and-see manner, her cheeks turned red as she shrank slightly into herself.

"I'm sorry Mrs. Porter, I wasn't listening." Shaking her head, the teacher sighed. "That's been happening to you quite a bit lately Miss Swan!" Embarrassed, since all the attention was still on her, Y/N just shook her head apologetically. "Just pay attention from now on. The things we discuss today will come up in next week's exam."  Y/N sat up a little straighter, took out her pen from her bag, and pulled her notebook towards her, which made the teacher smile contentedly and continue with the lesson.

For fifteen minutes, Y/N was able to focus on what was going on in front of her, until her gaze turned back outside and her thoughts drifted back to Demetri. As she did so, her hand settled, as if by itself, on the spot where Demetri's lips had touched her skin. Her eyes closed and the memories came back. It almost seemed to her as if Demetri was here in the same room with her, very close again.

Annoyed, Y/N exhaled, opened her eyes and dropped her hand. Three weeks had passed since the meeting with Demetri in the library. Three weeks of pure torture, as Y/N no longer knew exactly where she stood, what she felt, or what exactly she wanted.

Then to top it all off, the young girl felt guilty towards her sister for indirectly breaking her promise. While it had been Demetri who had sought her out, Y/N hadn't really done anything about his closeness either, or really found it disturbing. Y/N therefore kept inventing excuses not to talk to Bella for more than half an hour to an hour, even skipping a phone call here and there. Bella, surprisingly, ignored this. She probably thought Y/N had a lot to do with school, which was true somewhere.

On the other hand, Y/N was overwhelmed with what she was feeling. She missed the feel of Demetri's body against hers. She missed his hands holding her, his lips on her skin, and his presence. Y/N even had to admit that she searched for him whenever she was out.

Yet it was almost as if Demetri Volturi no longer existed. As if he had disappeared from the scene and the only thing he had left behind was desire and words that Y/N did not understand, or rather did not want to understand.

"How long can you hide your sins from the light of day?"

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"You should come out to party with us." Mara, a friend of Y/N, looked at her piercingly. "You've been going out for two weeks only to go to school, and even there you're absent the entire time and hardly talk."

Annoyed, Y/N released air from her lungs as she flopped down on her bed. "I just don't feel like doing anything else. Everyone has that once, it'll pass."

Mara jumped up from the chair she had been sitting on for the past hour and tried to coax Y/N into doing something other than just lying around in her room. Her fingers encircled Y/N's ankles. With a strong tug, Mara pulled Y/N off her bed.

Startled, she let out a scream as she plopped to the floor. Silence reigned for a moment until the two friends looked at each other and burst out laughing. Mara lay down on the floor next to the laughing Y/N, as she couldn't stop laughing either.

Both friends looked at the ceiling, trying to get their breathing under control as they slowly calmed down.

"What's it like?" Confused, Y/N turned her head in Mara's direction. "What exactly?" Her friend looked at her with a raised eyebrow. "I have a big sister Y/N, I know what heartbreak looks like. I'm just wondering what it feels like. I've never been in love, so I can't understand someone wanting to pull away from everything and everyone because of it."  Y/N turned her gaze back to the ceiling. Clearing her throat briefly, she tried to collect herself. "It's more complicated than heartbreak." The young girl took one deep breath. "You have to imagine that I never really knew who I was at home. I felt lost, which I still do from time to time." Y/N fell silent. Saddened and depressed by her own words, even if they spoke the truth.

"Why?" "Bella always cast a shadow over me. She was all my parents saw. I tried to step out of it, but every time I did, I stood in it again. So I gave it up and just lived in it. When I met Demetri, that's his name, I had the feeling of being seen for the first time. Really seen. I wasn't Bella's little sister anymore, I was just Y/N." Smiling, she closed her eyes and remembered back to the day she had first seen the vampire.

A cold hand placed itself under Y/N's chin and lifted it. This forced the young girl to look up. Her fingers tightened in the fabric of her bag as she looked into a pair of red eyes. "What's your name Chéri?" At the blond-haired man's voice, a shiver ran down her spine. "Y/N...." Her voice was soft.

With a soft smile, Demetri released her chin and brushed a tangled strand of hair behind her ear. "You're even more beautiful than I imagined."

"What's it like to be around him?" "It feels like coming home. When he's around me, it's like I can finally take a breath." Y/N gave a soft laugh. Confused, Mara looked at her, "What is it?" "At the risk of sounding ridiculous, when Demetri touches me it's like he reminds me that I'm alive and not just existing. His touches almost burn, and they continue to do so long after he's gone."

Mara was silent again for a moment. "That doesn't sound ridiculous. On the contrary it sounds beautiful, like a connection anyone would want to have. But then why are you sad?" "My family is against it." Mara exhaled in annoyance. "You mean your sister is against it."  "And a few other people I care about, or at least used to." Y/N's expression changed to a sad one. "So what's the plan? To forget him." The young girl just nods.

Mara, sighing, nudged her friend in the ribs with her elbow, making Y/N wince.

"Now let's be honest, let's go to the club today. The others are coming too. The first step towards oblivion." Y/N rubbed the spot where Mara's elbow had hit her.  "If I come with you, will you promise not to be violent towards me anymore?"

Playfully thoughtful, Mara put a hand to her chin and considered for a few seconds.

"If I have to..." Dramatically, the hand moved from her chin to her chest. "I promise to behave towards you!"

Rolling her eyes, Y/N grabbed the pillow, which had fallen on the floor with her earlier, and threw it in Mara's face.

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"Look who decided to join us for the night!" Mara spread her arms and showed her group of friends Y/N, immediately they all started cheering. "The lost child has returned!" Y/N rolled her eyes and plopped down next to Mick on the bench in the club. "I only skipped one club visit!" She had to raise her voice to fight the music. "One too many!" called Mick back, pressing his fresh beer into her hand. He put his arm on her shoulders and lifted the other beer to toast with the others.

As the evening went on, more and more alcohol flowed. Which helped Y/N lose any thought of Demetri and her confusing feelings for him.

With her eyes closed, Y/N moved to the tune of the music. The darkness that surrounded her, broken only by green and red lights every few seconds, made her feel safe and out of reach. Y/N felt free for the first time. No vampire drama could find her here. It was just her and her friends here.

The bodies around her, the young girl was already not even aware of, as well as the smell of sweat and alcohol. Smiling, she raised her arms in the air. 

Y/N's peace was quickly shattered. Startled, she flinched when two hands came to her hips. Her arms dropped down so she could put her hands over the stranger's and push them away. But as her skin touched the stranger's and she felt the familiar cold, the young girl literally sank into the body behind her. An unfamiliar feeling of relief spread through her.

"Demetri..."

His name was no more than a whisper, but Y/N knew he had heard her. After all, he was a vampire. The grip on her hips strengthened as if to assure her that it was really him, that he was really behind her and was not just an illusion.

"What do you think you're doing here Trésor?" Goosebumps formed on Y/N's skin. Tightening her grip on his hands, she sought the hold to steady herself. "Trying to forget." She murmured, not stopping to move, forcing Demetri to follow her lead.

The vampire snorted in amusement. His left hand settled on Y/N's stomach, where he applied enough pressure to keep Y/N's back against his chest. Demetri also released his right hand from her hip and let his fingertips travel upward just a few millimeters over the filmy fabric of Y/N's black blouse. When his fingers stopped at the exposed cleavage that started just below her breasts, Y/N had to gasp. Demetri's lips hovered just inches from her ear. "What are you trying to forget?"

Carefully almost, as if the vampire was afraid his mate would shatter like glass, he touched the exposed skin, between her breasts. Slowly his fingers slid up. Y/N bit her lip gently. She didn't want Demetri to know how much influence he had on her. However, the young girl quickly lost her focus as Demetri's fingers slid over her collarbone. Out of instinct, she grabbed Demetri's right arm, causing him to pause in his movement.

"I wanted to forget you." Her words sounded breathless and desperate. Demetri laughed, "And you really thought for a second that I would let this happen?" The vampire lowered his head. As he did so, he let his lips run over Y/N's cheek and chin. Arriving at her neck, he lowered his lips to her pulse point without further thought. Without hurting her he sucked his mouth there to make a mark on her. The young girl's eyes widened before she closed them. Her body automatically pressed even closer to his as Y/N's grip tightened on Demetri's arm.

"Good luck forgetting now." Demetri had moved away from her neck and taken his arms from her. Confused and slightly backward staggering, Y/N opened her eyes and at the lack of presence behind her, turned around. Only to find that Demetri had disappeared and left her behind  once again.

"He can't be serious now!"

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The young Swan girl felt as if a bucket of water had been poured over her head. Any signs of being drunk had disappeared and been replaced by a feeling of emptiness.

Slamming her apartment door behind her, Y/N shook her shoes off her feet. She had told her friends a half-hearted excuse, gotten out of the club into the next best cab, and headed home.

Tired, Y/N leaned against her front door. Her gaze slid around her dark apartment. Sighing, her head lightly banged on the door behind her. Tears came to her eyes as she realized how lonely she actually felt. Y/N didn't miss Forks, her sister, her father, or her friends, though. She was missing Demetri. Which made no sense from her point of view, since they were both never in the same place for more than half an hour.

Shaking her head, Y/N pushed herself away from her door, banished her way through the still dark apartment to the bathroom, and slowly began to undress in the process. She wanted nothing more than to wash the evening off her skin. The alcohol, her sweat, and the feeling of what Demetri had left on her skin. As she walked past her bedroom window, Y/N opened it to let the evening air in and since she lived on the fifth floor she didn't worry about anyone getting into her apartment.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

With a towel tied around her body, Y/N stood stunned in front of her bathroom mirror.

""This bloody..."" Twisting her neck a bit to the side, she looked at the red mark on her neck. Gasping, she propped her hands on the sink. "A hickey? Seriously!"

Shaking her head in front of her, she tugged on her towel again and left the bathroom to get dressed in her bedroom. Just as she was about to open her closet door to look for her sleeping clothes, a voice familiar to her was heard.

"Mon amour you should not leave your window open like that. Someone might come in here unannounced."

With a cry, the young girl turned to her bed. Stunned, Y/N looked at the vampire. Demetri had made himself comfortable on her bed. His hands were clasped behind the back of his head as he watched her with a satisfied grin.

"I live on the fifth floor! No one can get in there just like that. Except crazy vampires who don't know what privacy is!"

Angrily, she braced her hands on her hips. Demetri raised an eyebrow. "I thought the window was an invitation for me. After all, we both know that the height of your apartment is nothing that can stop me."  Several times Y/N blinked as she processed Demetri's words.

"You've got to be kidding me!" Y/N, enraged, grabbed the nearest object that fell into her fingers and threw it at Demetri. The latter jumped up from the bed to avoid the book Y/N threw at him.

"Mon amour you know that can't hurt me, right?" With an annoyed snort, Y/N grabbed her other textbook and aimed it at Demetri again. "I don't care!" Demetri ducked his head, repositioned himself properly, and looked after the book that had knocked a vase onto the floor.

"Think about your decor Y/N." Demetri's grin seemed to make the young girl even angrier. By the third time she turned to grab something and throw it at the vampire, Demetri had had enough. He closed the distance between them and stood directly in front of her.

Y/N, who was just turning back to face him, startled, dropped the book from her hand, and took an avoiding step backward. The skin on her back touched the cold wood, of her closet. This reminded her that she was still standing in front of Demetri in only a towel. Y/N's hands grasped the top hem of the towel and pulled it closer to her skin.

"Why are you here Demetri?" Y/N uttered her words only softly, with an uncertain tone. Demetri could even hear an anxious undertone. He stepped over the inches of distance that still existed between the two. The vampire raised his hand to Y/N's cheek, which made her close her eyes. The trembling of her body became more obvious and Demetri had to admit to himself that this reaction of his mate hurt him.

"Open your eyes Y/N." Demetri rested his forehead against Y/N's as he whispered his next words. "I beg you, don't be afraid of me." The young girl's eyes flew open. She had to swallow because of the closeness of their faces and the intensity of Demetri's gaze.

"Then give me a reason not to be afraid."

Demetri's free hand rested against Y/N's other cheek as he released his forehead from hers. Without hesitating any further, he lowered his lips to those of his mate. Instantly Y/N tensed and Demetri feared that he had gone too far. But Y/N leaned more toward him. Her chest pressed against his to keep her towel where it was as she wrapped her arms around his neck and returned the kiss as passionately as Demetri had.

The vampire's hands dropped down to Y/N's hips.

When they both broke away from each other, Demetri stopped with his lips just inches from hers. Y/N opened her eyes, letting her right arm slide down Demetri's chest. The vampire inhaled, even though he didn't have to, not breaking eye contact with Y/N for a second. "I would never hurt you Y/N. I'm not the monster the Cullens want me to be."

Y/N placed her right hand on Demetri's cheek. Her fingertips gently ran over his skin. With a smile, Y/N watched as Demetri's eyes closed as he leaned into her touch. She realized that he felt the same in her presence as she did in his, comfort.

Y/N leaned closer to Demetri with her face getting closer and closer to him. Just as the young girl was about to close her eyes, a ringing interrupted her. Startled, Y/N flinched and separated herself from Demetri. The latter opened his eyes annoyed when Y/N took her hands from him, put them back to the towel and detached herself from his body. Demetri let go of her, watching as Y/N went to her cell phone, picked it up and read the name. "Bella..."

Shaking his head, he walked back toward her. "Don't answer it." Uncertain, his mate looked at him as her fingers tightened around her phone. Demetri had enough of Bella, enough of the promise of what she had taken from his mate, and enough of waiting. He grabbed Y/N`s face between his hands again, pulling her body towards him and letting his lips meet hers. Startled by her mate's rudeness, she dropped the phone on the floor between them. Her fingers buried themselves in the thick material of Demetri's top, at his waist.

"Tonight you're all mine, tonight it's just the two of us!"

Demetri bent Y/N's head slightly to the side with his right hand. Immediately he lowered his lips to the skin on her neck, causing his mate to groan. Meanwhile, his hands wandered over her shoulders to the top saun of the towel, where he untied the knot Y/N had made in it to make sure the fabric stayed where it was.

Y/N shuddered as she felt the fabric of the towel loosen around her body. With trembling fingers she pushed herself away from Demetri. Confused, he looked at her and wanted to protest, but fell silent when Y/N's fingers went to the first button of his shirt and opened it. They both looked into each other's eyes while she repeated this with the other buttons. Carefully, Y/N ran the exposed skin back up as she undid the last button. As she did so, she could swear Demetri gasped several times. Arriving at his shoulders, she slipped the shirt off his body. She let her fingers wander further up his neck and pulled him down to her. This time it was Y/N who deepened the kiss directly as Demetri's hands worked their way down to her thighs. He lifted her up without breaking the kiss and placed her on the bed behind them.

The vampire and his mate created their own little world that night under the protection of her darkness. A world where Bella and the Cullens were forgotten. Where Y/N's fears for the future had no place. Where the ringing of Y/N's cell phone was ignored and where she belonged completely to Demetri.

A world that shattered with the first rays of daylight. When Y/N opened her eyes, she was aware not only of the burning sensation left by Demetri's touch, but also of the tightness in her lungs. She had betrayed her sister.

Y/N turned in bed to face her window. The side of the bed on which Demetri had been lying was cold, but not empty. A note lay on the pillow. Confused, the young girl straightened up, grabbed it and read it.

"Daylight exposes your sins more and more, so why still try to hide them in the darkness?"

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I will write a Part 3

@twilightlover2007​ @ssnapsaurus @svtbpbts

@xxx-wounded-angel-xxx  @ms-sasa​

[jokeroutsubs]

[ENG SUB + Article Translation] Delo's Personality of the Year Bojan Cvjetićanin: They sing Slovene in Dublin because of him

Bojan Cvjetićanin: They sing Slovene in Dublin because of him

The frontman of the band Joker Out, Bojan Cvjetićanin, is a candidate for Delo's Personality of the Year. The energetic singer and talented lyricist remains grounded despite his popularity.

Original article written by Urša Izgoršek for Delo. English translation by @kurooscoffee and a member of JokerOutSubs, proofread by @flowerlotus8

All ten nominees are listed in this article.

Full article below the cut.

Delo's Personality of the Year

Bojan Cvjetićanin: They sing Slovene in Dublin because of him

PHOTO: Bojan Cvjetićanin says that his generation faces many unresolved questions that cause anxiety. PHOTO: Črt Piksi

The frontman of the band Joker Out, Bojan Cvjetićanin, is a candidate for Delo's Personality of the Year. The energetic singer and talented lyricist remains grounded despite his popularity.

With Joker Out, Cvjetićanin has achieved incredible popularity on the European music scene, surpassing any other Slovenian pop or rock band to date. They've exceeded their own dreams and broken language barriers, with fans singing along in Slovenian wherever they perform, from Dublin to Milan and Oslo. As an energetic singer and gifted songwriter, Bojan represents a voice for the young generation, which is declaring that their time is coming: The game of hatred is your thing, thank you very much, don't count on us.

The 25-year-old musician, along with his bandmates Jure Maček, Kris Guštin, Jan Peteh, and Nace Jordan, has risen to stardom in just over two years while staying firmly grounded. "Sometimes even we ask ourselves how we manage it. We talk a lot with our producer Žare Pak, who we could call our sixth member. I think I, as well as the others in the band, have normal life habits. None of us is prone to any excesses, so we don't have to hold ourselves back in that sense. I live the way I have always lived, basically," says Bojan Cvjetićanin, who recently told Vikend magazine that he is glad that sex, drugs, and rock 'n' roll are not the guiding principles of their band. Joker Out is driven forward primarily by the enjoyment of performing on stage, meeting new people, and creativity.

What Bojan enjoys writing about the most is love, and he uses this emotion to describe the relationships within the group, too. "It's a partnership between five people, which is very complex. We spend a lot of time together, know each other well, and have learned when not to push certain buttons or when to offer someone a shoulder—not to cry on, but to vent." However, he also says there is nothing wrong with men showing emotions.

We briefly met with Bojan at Kino Šiška the day after returning from a concert in Zagreb and before heading to Maribor and Vienna, where Joker Out had two more sold-out concerts. That evening, when he could have taken a breather, Bojan also took the time to perform with the Police Orchestra at a concert titled Slovenia Breathes 0.0, because he likes to support causes he finds important.

One such cause was a concert aimed at improving the treatment of women with gynecological cancer. Cvjetićanin is compelling on stage and also when he talks about always adhering to the 0.0 rule behind the wheel. "My parents instilled in me the mindset that you don’t want to carry the weight of something going wrong because of one beer. I always called a taxi since I know people who have been deeply affected by the reckless actions of drunk drivers."

Life Motto: Do what you believe in, and trust the people you love.

The verse written in the introduction is from their hit 'Carpe Diem', with which they performed at Eurovision, and the song contains another meaningful thought: "We'll dance all night long/We'll love each other and play/As if we'll be gone tomorrow" Young people face an uncertain future, and Bojan says his generation has many worries due to rapid changes.

"We are confronted with many unresolved questions, more than ever before. They create unease, anxiety, and I think all of this can be felt. On the other hand, young people are treated as fully responsible global citizens, yet youth is often mentioned in a derogatory sense, as if it’s not yet our time to get involved in what's happening and we should just wait a little longer."

He never considered building a career outside Slovenia:"I always imagined a musician's life in the style of Tomi Meglič. Tomi was my alpha and omega. Only later, when I started writing in my mother tongue, Serbian, I began to think about the possibility of performing in the former Yugoslav region. As a teenager, my dreams were limited to Slovenia, and even that would've been more than enough for me," says the musician, who's grateful for the safety and many other aspects of living in Slovenia.

However, it seems that audiences abroad want to keep listening to them, and on their brand-new album 'Souvenir Pop', Bojan sings in three languages: Slovenian, Serbian, and English.

Žare Pak, producer of the band Joker Out

Žare Pak PHOTO: Jože Suhadolnik

I met Bojan Cvjetićanin five or six years ago when we were working on the song 'Gola'. For about three months, I put him through a vocal "torture", but I knew we could make something out of this boy. He is completely devoted to music, it’s in his blood, and he’s a great creator.

I see him the way most people who like him see him: he doesn’t act. He’d rather focus on discovering himself than playing a role. He's a very good person and also very intelligent. His charisma is connected to this.

Sometimes I tell him: Lucky you, whatever you do, even if it's wrong, you’ll fix it with this smile of yours. His smile is a powerful weapon. What’s amazing about Bojan is that he can make everyone feel like he has a personal relationship with them. When he’s on stage, everyone in the audience feels like he’s singing just for them. But that’s who he is. And because of people like Bojan, I’m happy to be in this profession.

[machveil]

Beautiful, cute, dulzura, A quick question, do you have any advice for drawing? I see your drawings and I just fell in love with them, I just started drawing again but it's difficult...

I don't know, sorry, English is not my first language, using translator jiji 🤎🍁

(note: this post is long, grab a snack lol) ah! no problem, don’t worry about the translator haha (pinterest link - this is my masterboard for human references! I’ll talk about it more below)

I think my best advice for anyone wanting to draw is to break down your piece into shapes! (also, depending on your style, using different line weights)

from my experience, while looking at the whole reference is good, it’s easier to break down individual parts! while some parts can look complicated, a lot of things can be broken down into triangles, squares, and circles (or half circles)

I focus on character art, so I’ll be speaking about that - but it can applied to scenery and objects too. a lot of characters clothes are broken up into colored articles already - in the top reference, Ghost has a red bandanna on his arm! that bandanna helps break up his arm: the top near his shoulder is triangular, the bandanna itself is overall rectangular, and the bottom of his sleeve is a square

of course, depending on how you’re posing the character it can change the angle of what we’re seeing - there’s also an accommodation that your art probably won’t be a 1-to-1 copy with your reference. Ghost’s right arm (bandanna) has a white rolled up sleeve - while the model’s sleeve is square, I prefer to draw rolled sleeves more triangular

I think line weight is also important depending on your style! I prefer thicker lines around the entire character, and defining qualities also get thicker lines

I like thinner lines inside the character to help define dimensional shape and form. I use thicker lines on the inside of the body if there’s a shape/area that’s more in the foreground - example: König’s chest and midsection have thick line art to help differentiate from his left arm (behind his body)

I know a common piece of advice is to use real life references, and I agree… but, I never hear people talk about how to use references in a way that actually helps (“just draw from real life”, or “drawing with a reference is good practice”). I experienced that and wasn’t able to take anything away for years!

within the past year or so I seriously took a look at how using references can help me, so I want to try and talk about that - if I had trouble learning from references I’d wager someone else has

here’s my best example of using a reference because I actually remembered to! I labeled the figure to make it a little easier to follow

(1) my first tip is using a reference to figure out how the body ‘flows’. the human body has a lot of soft, rounded lines when you look at a picture - very few things are legitimately straight and sharp. I used the reference specifically to figure out how men’s pecs are shaped (of course, this is just one reference… because this is my headcanon for König’s body type haha)

(1) looking at references can help you understand how muscles move. in the reference with the woman, you notice how her right arm (down) muscles are layered - the shape portrayed by the reference lets you see how an arm’s muscles might be laid out in that position

(2) my second tip from the König reference is to look at negative space! the highlighted red portion between the arm and midsection is roughly the same negative space as the reference. if you’re using a reference and something feels off with the placement of what you’ve drawn I’d recommend looking at the space your reference takes up

(2) the negative space trick helps me line up where proportions should meet up - the distance between her arms lets me gauge how the rest of her body should be proportioned

(2) while it doesn’t match up 1-to-1 with the reference when layered overtop, it doesn’t have to! the negative space between the arms was enough for the sketch to mimic what the reference looks like. art doesn’t have to be a 1-to-1, but negative space can help you figure out ‘why does that arm look funny?’, “that arm looks funny because, compared to the negative space of your reference, it’s too (far away/close) to the body.”

(3) my last tip is the simplest, so I’ll just be referring to the König figure! when using references I look to gauge the distance between different body parts - it helps me get more realistic proportions. the bit I specifically compared to was the man’s stomach placement compared to his waist. I didn’t copy it 1-to-1 because I like the idea König has more of a tummy, but the reference allowed me to figure out an anatomical placement for where König’s stomach would be compared to his waist

I hope my advice wasn’t terrible haha everyone’s art journey is different, but these are tips I would have liked to know a few years ago (specifically the reference material ones lol). I wanted to focus more on the reference material because when people say ‘just use a reference, it’ll help’ it didn’t do it for me

I personally needed a more in depth explanation on why I would use a reference, what should I be looking at - because just drawing a person doesn’t necessarily help, and how should I be learning from it - I accidentally taught myself negative space before I knew what it was

but uhm… yeah, I hope this wasn’t awful! good luck on everyone’s art journeys, just remember that you’re allowed to take your time and try different things

if you guys have any other questions about my art feel free to jump into my inbox; process wise, inspiration, etc - I’ll answer anything I can<3

[satellite-evans]

poets & soulmates

Pairing: Harry Styles x reader

Summary: Harry doesn’t know how to react when he learns that you don’t believe in soulmates.

Word count: a cute little blurb

Warnings: angst? Flufffff

A/N: heyyyyy!!!!!

It’s been ages since I last posted a fic, so I am soooo excited to post my very first Harry Styles one! I really hope you guys like it, I’ve worked on this for a while, so let’s see how it goes. I’m very excited and nervous to post this, but I am so happy to be back! Please tell me what you guys think and give me as much as feedback as you can so I can grow and be a better Harry fic writer for you all xxx

English is not my first language, so I apologize if I made any (grammar) mistakes. Feedback, requests, talks, vents, recommendations or just simple questions are always welcome.

Happy reading xxx

I do NOT give permission for my work to be translated or reposted on here or any other site.

~

If you had to describe the love you shared with Harry with a poem, you would probably choose the one from Edgar Allan Poe.

“We loved with a love that was more than love.”

It said so much in such few words; the best description of your love for him.

Because it is true, it is more than love. Always had been. If you took the love out of the relationship, you and Harry would be left with so much to survive. There was trust, for example. And also intimacy. Not to forget there was an understanding between you, too, that no one understood. If you were in a room with thousands of people, he would recognize you, every single time. Like you were a shining diamond between rocks. The effect you both had on each other, was beyond explaining in chemistry. Harry could touch you, and the breath that would escape from your lips oh so silently would already expose the effect he had on you.

Harry was no different, either. Seeing you smile proudly when you looked at him, made him turn into dust, that you blew away with your eyes. But he was afraid at first. To love.

He was afraid to love you.

For him, you were a stunning mystery. You carried things deep inside you that no one understood, and Harry was afraid to fail like the others. In his eyes, you were like the ocean and he was just a man who loved the waves but was completely terrified of swimming.

How couldn’t he be? At twenty nine, everyone had an idea in their head about how Harry was in relationships. Some said that he was single because he had commitment issues, others said the reason he was still alone was that he was too much of a playboy.

Yes, he had a few relationships before you and some of them did not end well, but Harry always respected and treated them with his kindness, always wanted the best for them.

He would do everything for his love, for you.

“Hey, love?” He asked you, clearly with hesitation. The way his voice shook a little didn’t go unnoticed by you in his London home where the both of you were lying in his bed. After spring came, Harry offered you to stay with him until summer so the two of you could enjoy long walks in the park with his favorite companion. You never said yes to an offer so quickly before in your life.

“Yes H, everything okay?”

How? How was it that every time Harry wanted to start a subject that was sensitive for him, you already knew by just the way he asked you his first question? Call it magic, call it luck. Harry liked to call it love.

“Do you think we’re soulmates? Like-I mean, we would be together and we will be forever?”

He didn’t know why that question was so important to him, but it was. He wanted to know your opinions and thoughts about the future both of you had. Every time Harry was dreaming about his future and how it would look, he realized you were always there. In the audience when he opened his biggest show ever, in the delivery room when he held his baby for the first time, everywhere. So your answer was very important to him. He wanted- no; he needed to know if he was present in your future as much as you were present in his.

“No, I don’t think we are. But that’s because I don’t believe in soulmates.”

Ouch. That shouldn’t have hurt him, but it did. Blaming you would be pointless. You didn’t believe in the whole idea of soulmates, but that didn’t make him less insecure. He knew it was too good to be true. That you were too good to be true.

The whole aura of the room changed and Harry slowly got up from where he was lying between your legs. You saw that his demeanor changed and that the happy, slightly tired Harry got replaced with a sad Harry.

“Hey, hey what’s that all about? Why the sad face?”

Honesty was one thing you both took extremely seriously. So that’s what you wanted to do this time, too. But without realizing you broke slightly Harry’s heart.

“It’s nothing, really. You don’t have to believe we are soulmates. I don’t know why I’m sad if I am being honest.” He said with a slight smirk that didn’t reach his eyes. He was clearly devastated by your answer.

You sat closer to him on his bed, touched his cheeks with your hands, and stared him deeply into his eyes. Harry already felt his heartbeat going faster. It was going so fast that he thought he was going to have a stroke. He held on to your arm dearly, so if he fainted, you could hold him. Like you always had been.

“I don’t believe in soulmates, and I don’t think that you & I were meant to end up together. What I believe is that we fell in love & that we worked hard for our relationship. I mean, look at you, you’re an amazing person with qualities so great that an individual can only dream of having those. Every woman is lucky to have you. I am from another country and I am younger than you. Remember all the news that they made about us when we first started going out? They told me I was a gold digger, that you were too good for me, that you cheated on me, and so on. But we didn’t listen to any of them. We let our love grow because we knew, H. We knew that what we had was special, and not everybody was lucky enough to feel what we felt. So no, I don’t think we are soulmates. But you are the one for me; Harry. You were in my past when I didn’t even know. You are my person in the present, And you will be in the future. Because I will always, undoubtedly, love you.”

Without waiting for his response, you connected your lips with his. You knew he was sensitive and these bare confessions took a toll on him, so you just kissed him, to let him know it was okay. That you were there for him, always.

“Just give me 3-5 business days, and I’ll come up with even a bigger love confession, promise.”

Harry said, after he broke the bruising kiss.

He wasn’t lying. Harry had no words to say to you. He knew you loved him, but not that much. It was like his brain & heart were on fire and you just put them out with your words. Relief washed over him, and like a cherry on his favorite cake, you kissed him with adoration.

“Oh, I know you will. It’s a known fact that you were always better with words, but just so you know, you don’t have to. I feel your love every time you look at me. Hate to break it to you, but your eyes give it away how much you love me, Styles.”

He didn’t care about the idea of the whole soulmate anymore. He felt so stupid that he was thinking about that. The love that the both of you shared, was more special, and rare. The two of you were even better than soulmates.

“That I do, Y/N. That I do. I love you so fucking much. It sometimes hurts. It hurts not to touch you, not to be near you, not to kiss you.”

He closed the gap between you with a passionate kiss again, that knocked your breath away. Your whole body was on fire, not knowing what to do. With every touch of his on your skin, the fire started to get more and more aggressive. He released your lips, but stayed close, so you could feel his breath on your lips and he could hear your heartbeat going faster.

“I am no poet, Y/N but just know that if I was, you would be my biggest inspiration.”

You looked him in the eyes, trying to control your breathing, but it was a lost cause. His blue eyes were like ice digging into your heart, and the only thing you could do was surrender.

“That might be the best poem I’ve ever heard.”

[edgarbright]

Caleb = Sylus theory

And if that turns out to be incorrect, then renamed as:

My thoughts on Caleb and Sylus!

tl;dr my heart wants Caleb back as a LI and my brain continues to report that Caleb being Sylus makes a lot of sense

General spoiler warning for any game content released up until June 18, 2024. Long post is long and has pictures.

So first things first! I’m going to need everyone to think about Caleb beyond being just our sweet and teasing childhood friend. Because if we viewed the other male leads as plainly as Caleb is often viewed, then Zayne is just a workaholic doctor, Xavier is just a narcoleptic hunter, and Rafayel is just a playful-personality artist.

But we find out Zayne has done work in battle zones as a military medic and we hear how his morals and ethics are held high when organizations like Ever Group try to recruit him. We discover that Xavier is an immortal who has flown across the galaxy in a spaceship and regularly goes toe-to-toe with criminal syndicates and wanderers alike. We learn that Rafayel is a Lemurian, the God of the Sea, and an assassin who carefully and cleverly deals out bloody revenge.

While we don’t have a lot of Caleb content in the first eight chapters and side pieces, there is still a lot of information to work with! Because we know he has been around for years and must be doing something with his time when he’s not talking with MC about coming home.

And one of the clues we’re given is that he is a busy guy. In the character notes, we read that MC doesn’t see Caleb outside of holidays after he became involved with the Aerospace Academy at Skyhaven. He has since become a pilot for the Deepspace Aviation Administration. Then there is their last argument about how they are adults now and they don’t need to keep secrets from each other. But just when Caleb is about to open up, he locks it down. And then he’s gone.

The End? Except I don’t think that’s where his story finishes.

I. Official game descriptions

Caleb: "My childhood friend. Grandma took us in when we were young. Now he works as a fighter pilot for the Deepspace Aviation Administration. Ever since he went to Aerospace Academy in Skyhaven, we don’t often see each other. But we always visit Grandma during the holidays. While he loves teasing me, he’s actually a reliable person whom I trust."

Sylus: "The leader of Onychinus is said to have built his empire on illegal Evol weapons and Protocore deals. He’s the most influential, dominant figure in the N109 Zone. However, he hasn’t been seen for a while."

II. Caleb as a love interest: Brother vs childhood friend

Stating the obvious to get it out of the way: that Papergames had to give Caleb a completely different relationship role with MC in the English-speaking market is akin to a public statement that he is going to be a love interest. They would have saved themselves the trouble by leaving him as brother if he was never going to play a more intimate role with MC.

III. Caleb and MC's lingering connection: the necklace

The “When U come back,” apple-and-dog-tag necklace picked out in a style MC really liked as a present for Caleb before he left for Skyhaven.

The necklace where, in chapter 4.06 ‘Saying Goodbye,’ MC and Caleb share a Kindled moment as we take the necklace from his hand and he leans forward to let us put it on him.

The necklace that Caleb was wearing under the bulk of his jacket when he entered Grandma’s house before the explosion.

The necklace that is nowhere to be seen after the explosion, but suddenly appears on the ground in front of us when MC looks back down. Caleb was wearing that necklace when he entered the house, but here it is now, completely intact. MC’s hands are covered in dirt and ash while the necklace is in clean condition.

Caleb is alive in one way or another. And the necklace, now back in MC’s possession, is a tie that still binds them.

IV. Official Announcement of the Next Male Lead

(Disclaimer: I am only able to go off the English fan translation and google translations so my interpretation is at the mercy of missed nuances from word choice and mis-translations. But we’re just here to be delusional have fun, so play nice!)

During the CBT in 2023, Papergames released this announcement:

Then on February 24, 2024 as part of an apology post to angry Chinese players, Papergames provided a follow-up and official confirmation that hunters will get to meet the next love interest, Qin Che/Sylus, in the next big story update coming this July 2024.

This February announcement does not mention Caleb, but then the original Q&A was clearly only referencing a question regarding a single pre-mentioned person. So between CBT and now, my understanding is that we have only ever been promised one new male lead to top us off at a quartet.

And in that initial announcement in CBT, it continues to strike me as strange that they talk about this mystery man Sylus and then they bring up Caleb. They first talk at length about someone we don’t know at all and then about someone the CBT players were already interested in: our doting brother/childhood friend, someone who clearly likes us, someone whom the MC obviously likes in return, someone with a unique personality from the other LI, and someone we have lost and grieved over and want back.

But the official name of the next male lead is Sylus.

“His identity and your relationship to him,” however, could also suggest that the name “Sylus” may not be his true name. Is there just some guy named Sylus walking around Linkon City or does he become Sylus when associated with Onychinus and when he enters the N109 zone? After all, his identity is a question, it is a mystery, he is mystery, and our relationship to him is a question. Our true relationship to him is in question, because perhaps it is someone we thought we knew but didn’t truly know at all.

V. Sylus: a powerful persona in the N109 zone

As the main story plot progresses and MC sets her sights on entering the N109 zone, she learns that the acquisition of a bold fake identity is a key part to her safety. By the sound of it, even someone like Xavier doesn’t enter as Xavier, but instead as Lumiere as it was Lumiere who was rumored to have caused a mess there recently.

Therefore I’m further encouraged that the name “Sylus” could just be a new identity for someone we already know. Even more so, once ‘Caleb the fighter pilot from the Deepspace Aviation Administration’ has officially been declared dead, the only identity left to him is Sylus.

But strangely enough, after Caleb is gone, even the character description states Sylus hasn’t been seen for a while, either…

VI. Symbols: the jacket and the crow

Caleb is wearing a Deepspace Aviation Administration (DAA) jacket before he begins attending the Airspace Academy at Skyhaven, as seen in the flashback scene. He is still wearing the same jacket on the last day we see him in chapter 4.

Of interest, in chapter 3, we see a crow in the forest watching MC and Xavier after they destroy the developing Aetherwyrm and taking Onychinus's modified Protocore.

Note the diagonal orange bars on the mechanical feature on the crow’s left wing and the design on the jacket on Caleb’s left chest:

The bars mirror one another. The crow seems to have four bars but only three are full whereas the jacket shows four full bars.

Note as well on the jacket's left arm: the crow-like head triangle with the curved wings.

With MC currently entangled in tens of thousands of years of history with three other men, I don’t think this is a game that deals with mere coincidences.

But considering this crow symbol existed on the DAA jacket before Caleb went to the academy teases all types of connections and, most appropriately, spacetime considerations rooted around the Deepspace Tunnel.

VII. The Deepspace Aviation Administration

After completing his training at the Airspace Academy, Caleb rose up to become a pilot in the Deepspace Aviation Administration. His whole job involves flying around and near the Deepspace Tunnel.

The same Deepspace Tunnel that the Linkon broadcaster speaks of so frequently regarding possible Wanderer appearances.

The same Deepspace Tunnel that appeared at the time of the catastrophe.

The same Deepspace Tunnel that Xavier and the Backtrackers took to travel from Philos to Earth.

Just as MC is learning new and weird things about the world while working as a hunter, surely Caleb has come across some new and weird things, too.

MC states that the DAA is secretive but Caleb takes it a step further: it’s not just secretive, it’s spooky! It’s creepy! It’s mysterious! It’s shadowy!

Whatever the DAA is dealing with isn’t, necessarily, normal!

Because while the DAA is of course focused on the Deepspace Tunnel, we have also heard that some of their interests lie in the Lemurian ruins…

So we shouldn’t take the Deepspace Aviation Administration at face value. Honestly, nothing in this game appears to be as good and pure as it seems! It’s suspicious that MC works as a hunter in the Unicorns division when Unicorn was also the code name for her as an experiment. The public face of Ever Group has them seeming to work medical miracles and conducting revolutionary science, but we know they conducted cruel experiments on MC, we have clues they experimented on Lemurians, and it’s revealed they have dark dealings with the Backtrackers.

Note that while Sylus is the leader of Onychinus and built it up as an empire, that doesn’t necessarily mean he is the founder. The Deepspace Aviation Administration could easily have criminal ties of their own or be a cover for a front for their true reason to exist.

But whatever is going on with the DAA, Caleb has been involved in it for many years and has kept it secret from MC this whole time.

VIII. Male Lead Introductions

It feels too strange to think that Sylus will be an entirely new face because not only would that put him at a disadvantage, it would neglect a lot of clues and game features laid out for his association and arrival.

For starters, Xavier, Rafayel, and Zayne are all introduced to MC in the very first chapter. They get faces and little encounters to go along with them.

Meanwhile Caleb is faceless. He is just a voice in chapter 1. But to the MC, it’s the familiar voice of someone she obviously knows and loves and is excited to see again. She has history and memories and a developed relationship with this person.

But even through the teasing affection shared between MC and Caleb over the phone, his face and expressions are left in the dark. He is a mystery to us.

Except… maybe we do see a face of Caleb? In the face of the all-seeing-eye of Onychinus that appears a moment after MC gets off the phone with him.

So, going back to that CBT announcement, Papergames asks if the players found any clues regarding Sylus in the main story… right before they bring Caleb into the conversation, who for all intents and purposes is dead? Whether they were making a hint or not right there it’s too suspicious.

IX. Lore: The Eye in the Sky Watching Over MC

We spot the red eye watching MC on at least three occasions:

[Top left image] At the end of chapter 1: After MC has completed her first day as a hunter and Caleb bids her goodnight after their phone call, she sees the eye for a moment outside her window as the weather begins to turn bad.

[Bottom left image] In chapter 3: MC recalls a reoccurring nightmare when her 7-year-old self was running blindly in pain and fear during the Chronorift Catastrophe. While she initially thinks it is the moon, when she wakes up she realizes it was actually the same eye she saw in chapter 1. Of interest, notice how her description of the eye’s arrival is portrayed rather positively:

Rusty-red rain falls from the sky and seeps into every nook and cranny of the city. I step over the puddles, running away. I sense a powerful force. It's about to burst from my heart. Then the moon appears. Magnificent, it descends before me. It flickers. It seems to be blinking at me.

[Right image] At the Nest in chapter 8: the eye is in a robotic contraption watching events unfold on Hunting Day and when MC is captured.

So it seems this eye has been with her since she was seven years old and it found her before even Xavier did. As an observation vessel, however, it was not able to help her. All it can do is watch. So the question is who has been watching her from the other end? Ever Group? Onychinus? The Backtrackers? Caleb in some form?

X. Caleb is never doing what MC expects

On the phone call in chapter 1, MC thought he would still be in-flight, but he brushes it off by saying they finished early. He uses this surprise “free time” to call her right when she returns home and asks how her first day as a hunter went.

When MC arrives to Grandma’s house in chapter 4, she thought he wouldn’t arrive until the next day at the earliest, but he was already home. He uses this surprise “free time” to cook and have dinner ready for her right when she arrives.

He just always seems to be a step ahead of the MC… for the sake of doting on MC!

But it’s still rather odd that lower-level military personnel would get early clock-outs so conveniently when activity in the Deepspace Tunnel and appearance of Wanderers are on the rise…

And what is he doing that is making him so sleep-deprived?

XI. FM News vs Caleb: Deepspace Tunnel Activity

For the record, all of chapter 1 takes place over a single day. MC starts her morning by receiving her badge; spends the day hunting Wanderers, meeting Xavier, and getting her placement in alpha team; spends the evening with Tara before she meets Rafayel; rushes to her 6pm check-up appointment with Zayne; has a nighttime phone call with Caleb; and spots the eye outside her window before bed.

And from morning to night, the news report and Caleb’s report are complete opposites.

“Hello, Linkon City. DPSC FM here to greet you on this early morning. Did you sleep well last night? Weather's nice today with winds at 5 km/hr. Certain areas have a higher Metaflux index due to the Deepspace Tunnel. Expect Wanderers to appear more often. We would like to thank the hunters in the city for allowing us to live a normal, peaceful life. Next, a detailed report for each district. Areas that are at a "high risk" of being attacked by Wanderers-- All medical personnel, today is going to be another busy day.”

Compared to

MC: "Did you guys encounter any Wanderers in the Deepspace Tunnel? Was it dangerous?" ... Caleb: "All right. It's been peaceful. The field within the tunnel is as stable as it can be. Very few Wanderers. Don't worry." MC: "Really? Every time you tell me not to worry..." Caleb: "Everything else is top secret. My lips are sealed."

Now, it’s entirely possible that he’s lying about the danger in order to make MC feel better, but if he was lying and the situation was more severe, he wouldn’t have gotten off work early and been able to call her.

Which also brings up the question: is he even at Skyhaven or with the Deepspace Aviation Administration at this time...?

XII. Theory Speed Bump: the Exploding House

During the phone call in chapter 1, Caleb sounds very relaxed about MC having become a hunter on her first day. He asks her how it went and when she starts talking about having had some trouble, he teases her to stop--because he knows she did well! They go on to tease each other about when he’s going to next visit and he says a very sweet good night. He doesn’t sound worried for her safety or anxious or anything of the like.

The visit at Grandma’s house in chapter 4 is a little different. He seems more worried.

Caleb shows up a day early—and if he is Sylus, leader of Onychinus who are wildly in-the-know, obviously his connections would have alerted him to the moving activity posing a danger toward MC and Grandma. But considering how well Xavier stays off most radars, the other Backtrackers are quite good at moving in secret, too. Knowing there is danger isn’t the same as knowing where or when exactly it will hit.

From the World Underneath files, Ever Group appears to have lost track of experiment subject “Unicorn,” but they still had tabs on Josephine as one of their former researchers. The files the Backtracker acquired after the explosion that he delivered to the Ever Group’s Raincoat appears to be their confirmation on MC’s identity. Although we’re left listening to the lackey’s discussion, it doesn’t appear that Ever Group intended to do MC harm just yet, but that doesn't mean she couldn't have accidentally been caught up in the explosion, too.

While MC and everyone are at the table eating, the story about the multiple metaflux explosions are shown on the TV.

When MC excuses herself from the table in order to go scout the neighborhood, Caleb, who just voiced concerns for her safety, jumps up and follows her.

Caleb very obviously lies about going shopping (my guy has empty hands when he reappears). He continues to follow her, albeit from a distance as he is not quick enough to get involved in MC’s encounter with the sneaking Backtracker (note how the MC observed that the man sounded much older than he looked).

Although it’s interesting how, after Caleb knows she was attacked and how he stuck by her side as often as he could while they were outside, he enters the house first and leaves her alone outside.

But the only reason he entered the house first and alone was because MC told him to go inside first. He was the one who suggested they return home before Grandma got worried. Whatever danger Caleb was on high alert for, I’m left conflicted if an exploding house was something he considered since it was his idea to return.

His necklace magically appearing in front of MC after the explosion, however, suggests he was involved in the necklace placement in some way.

Also we don't know what his Evol is exactly. Some players have suggested telekinesis or gravity based on how he was able to take the necklace from MC in the flashback. Magnetic force should also be considered, I think, but I won't open that can of worms here. The question is still: how deep does this rabbit hole go? Was Caleb caught in an explosion he was prepared for and escaped or is another force at work here? We know there have been many Rafayels and Zaynes in the timeline. Maybe there are many Calebs, too.

XIII. Grandma's records have no mention of Caleb

Before she took in MC, Josephine states in the World Underneath files that she has never had children before. Meaning Caleb was not in the picture before MC.

In the game character notes, MC says Grandma took both MC and Caleb in when MC was seven years old.

So where did Caleb come from? And what made her take him in, too?

When we are at Grandma’s house, we also see just one picture frame. The only ones in the picture are MC and Grandma.

In all of Grandma’s notes, there is not one mention of Caleb. There is just one instance where it looks like his name ought to be, but the notes trail off instead with an ellipsis.

Did she herself exclude him from her records or was his name purposefully removed?

Nonetheless, I'm sure the leader of Onychinus would value such anonymity, if it were him.

XIV. "A decisive man as always"

At the family meal, MC expresses concern regarding Grandma’s health. Caleb speaks up and shares that he has taken care to see that Grandma is cared for.

When MC, a little peevish-sounding in English, asks him the when and why, all Caleb does is let out a small laugh and goes back to eating.

Grandma notes that she didn’t know about this plan either. "A decisive man as always," she says with a troubled expression.

And thus Grandma has thrown an interesting character trait into the mix as Caleb always seems so laid-back with MC like he’s simply going with the flow of things. Except it’s clear he’s decisive, determined, and taking care of things behind the scenes. And surely that includes taking care of MC.

XV. Sylus's Character

We have two points of concrete information about Sylus.

The first is the game description, which I’ll repeat here: “The leader of Onychinus is said to have built his empire on illegal Evol weapons and Protocore deals. He’s the most influential, dominant figure in the N109 Zone. However, he hasn’t been seen for a while.”

The second is an observation made by Captain Jenna in chapter 3:

"We speculate it’s not about money, given Sylus’s track record," she says.

So Sylus "is said to have built" a whole empire on illegal sales but apparently he’s OK with his sales taking a loss because it’s not about money. We see in several news reports in-game about the amazing medical progress made due to the use of Protocores. Modified Protocores, especially such revolutionary ones made by Onychinus, should easily be worth more than their weight in gold. The one that MC and Xavier take from the forest is even powerful enough to start the revival process of the strongest type of Wanderer.

So we have this mysterious Sylus who has prioritized power and influence over wealth, but what can he possibly do with those if he’s gone AWOL…?

But such a decisive man who has gained authority over the N109 zone likely has everything under control, right?

XVI. Grandma Josephine vs Caleb

In chapter 4 under the title “Secret,” in part due to the mysterious locked box MC receives, we the player (not MC) learn that Grandma had entrusted MC to Zayne if the “worst-case scenario happens.”

But what about Caleb? We know that he is away from home very often so it’s highly unlikely anyone should consider something bad happening to both her and him. The “us” she uses could mean them both, but it seems more likely she meant Zayne’s promise to Grandma and MC (as MC is the beneficiary).

Let’s go back to that family meal conversation and see the follow-up reactions that show some interesting motives:

We have Caleb taking responsibility for family matters, MC and Grandma caught by surprise—then look at what Grandma does: she doesn’t argue with his decision, but instead turns to MC and immediately encourages her to get back in touch with Zayne.

Caleb’s response to that in turn is to suggest that instead of Zayne and MC meeting alone, Zayne should come for a family dinner. Caleb’s reaction feels rather sarcastic with the emphasis on “looong time.” Zayne is given the treatment of, rather than being a family friend, he is more like that kid they used to know back in grade school. Which is true. Zayne has been absent in MC and Caleb's lives for the past 10 years. Zayne hasn’t been in the picture since MC was about eleven years old and it’s been Caleb looking after MC as her childhood friend/brother this whole time.

So it’s no surprise when MC and Caleb are walking back home together that their conversation turns out like this:

"If not me, who could you possibly turn to for…" he begins, then stops. He smiles bitterly, shakes his head, and plays it off.

Is this him choking up on his yearning? Is this him realizing what Grandma tried to do earlier by bringing up Zayne, and realizing there are other people MC can turn to? Is this him realizing MC is right, that he really can’t protect her forever? Is this him realizing he can’t protect her as just Caleb? Or is there something else going on in that head of his?

It seems to me that not only are Grandma and Caleb not working together at this point, despite them both prioritizing MC's safety, Grandma might not consider Caleb outside of being the family cook!

What does Grandma know about Caleb that would make her turn to Zayne instead?

XVII. What Onychinus knows about MC's Aether Core (spoiler: everything)

Summary: This all happened in the immediate aftermath of the Chronorift Catastrophe. Dr. Noah was bought into the picture shortly after Grandma took MC into her home. Around that same time, one of the researchers who experimented on MC joined up with Onychinus. From that point on, all the other researchers started dying or disappearing—except for Grandma Josephine.

Grandma, however, is eventually killed by the Backtrackers hired by Ever Group, who had been looking for details about their missing Unicorn.

MC notes that Grandma didn’t leave any work files at home. Therefore Caleb wouldn’t have learned anything at the home.

But because Onychinus knows everything through that researcher, Sylus also knows everything that happened to MC. He knows what Josephine did. He knows about MC’s condition. He knows about her special heart. He knows about the Aether Core. He knows what dangers might pursue MC.

And what is Onychinus’s main project? Modifying Protocores.

MC learns that the frequency of her heart matches that of the modified Protocore she found in the restricted zone with Xavier. Both her heart and that modified Protocore had been effected by an Aether Core.

The crucial part I’m getting at is that Onychinus already knows about MC before she ever went to the Nest. They have known about her for around 15 years and during all this time Onychinus have never, ever approached or harmed her!

In this Sylus = Caleb scenario, he already has MC (trust me! he pleads), he already has her Aether Core, and he's trying to keep it secret, he's trying to keep her safe.

The other researchers had to die to keep her safe, because the knowledge they held of her would die with them.

"If not for me, who could you turn to for..." Caleb had once started to say, because if not for him, who else could have protected her all this time? Who else would work so tirelessly and decisively to do what needed to be done?

XVIII. Onychinus is not our enemy

One of the reasons I love Love and Deepspace is because the world building and lore are incredibly interesting. But we must use critical thinking because they are also deceptive. So many characters keep treating Onychinus as dangerous, as deadly, but we not only don’t know their true motive, we have no information on what bad things they’ve actually done besides existing outside normal society.

Both Jenna and Xavier tell us that Onychinus's most famous achievement is modifying Protocores. There is no word of Onychinus ever doing direct or indirect harm using these modified Protocores. We don’t even know to whom, exactly, they sell these Protocores—and we know that it’s not about money.

Onychinus is a mystery! What anyone knows about them is all speculation!

Ever Group, meanwhile, has conducted experiments on Lemurians as explored in Raymond's situation and experiments on MC when she was a child. These actions directly resulted in the "death" of MC numerous times and the probable death of at least one Lemurian if not more. In the World Underneath we discover that Ever Group also knows about the Backtrackers and about Philos. Ever Group hired the Backtracker that destroyed MC’s family. They also use Xavier and are plotting to, for lack of a better word, enslave him once they figure out the chemical compound of the medication he and the other Backtrackers use as injections.

It’s not a mistake, however, that Ever Group is praised by the public for their ingenuity and medical advances for the sake of a better society while Onychinus is treated as dangerous renegades.

Then there is also the Deepspace Aviation Administration who are "unraveling the unknown" at the Deepspace Tunnel while fighting Wanderers.

XIX. I promise you’ll see me every day when you wake up ;)

For the longest time I read Caleb's final promise at face value. He was coming back home to visit, so every morning when MC wakes up at Grandma’s house, she’ll see Caleb.

And I know I’m not the only one who shouted OBJECTION after the explosion (All Men Do Is Lie)!

Except waking up doesn’t have to be literal.

In the pre-registration announcement video released November 1, 2023, Zayne says the following line:

“When you and the world wake up, I hope we do not meet again.”

Perhaps MC just needs to wake up to the truth—the truth of what happened to her before she met Caleb and Zayne and Rafayel and Xavier, the truth of what Grandma and the scientists did to her as a child, the truth… of what she might find in the N109 zone, where Onychinus is, where the question to Sylus and her relationship with him will be answered…

When MC learns the truth, when she opens her eyes to the real world, she will see Caleb again.

(She will get to see him every day just like he promised.)

XX. Theoretical consideration: we’re in a time loop with possible time travel

If there are multiple timelines, it’s possible that the Sylus-Caleb we eventually meet isn’t the Caleb who entered that house before the explosion. They could be the same but different. Perhaps Caleb in one timeline died in that house while a Caleb in another timeline did not. Perhaps the necklace we picked up belonged to a different Caleb.

Because let’s be real, everything is a bit of a mess now: Dawnbreaker and Zayne sharing dreams, Xavier as an immortal alien on a completely different planet, and Rafayel has a millennia of emotional baggage to unpack and a lost civilization he has yet to revive.

There are also the rhythms in which the characters are living in their respected timelines. We have Xavier the immortal who has witnessed the many lives of MC living and dying tragically and being reborn again and again. We have Rafayel who is in a matched reincarnation cycle with MC where he seems to meet her in each life, but she has forgotten him while he may or may not have forgotten her. We have Zayne who is in an unmatched reincarnation cycle with MC where he may or may not meet her in each life, but he sacrifices himself for her sake at each end.

Let's not overlook the possibility of an actual time traveler with Sylus. Perhaps even one who has been looking for a timeline where he can keep MC safe. After all, coming late into the game, Sylus will need to have a new spin to his myth and connection with MC if he's going to compete!

Plus Caleb is also represented by the apple, the forbidden fruit: take even the smallest bite and be banished from paradise. But a bite of the apple also wakes one up to the truth, to the sense of shame, to desire, to sin, to love…

"I promise you’ll see me every day when you wake up," he said.

(And I’m a fool who wants to believe him 🍎)

[smokingasters]

An excerpt from Psycho Pass Asylum- Restaurant De Campagne. Translated into English by me. It follows Kagari’s story about how he grew interested in cooking “natural” food. The narration is in flashback and serves as a prequel to S1.

Happy Halloween 🎃 (Dividers by @cafekitsune)

✴️ If you copy and repost this anywhere else, I expect you to credit me and link it back to my blog. Please don’t repost without credit, thanks ☺️ (reblogs are welcome!)

I have been helping out in the restaurant for more than a month...

That morning, Kagari was busy in his single room in the Enforcer's dormitory of the Public Security Bureau building. As it was exactly one month later and his salary had been paid, Kagari could not wait to set up a kitchen in his room to cook. On the cooking table were piles of various natural ingredients that Mitsuha, the owner of the restaurant had given him.

Due to the series of unfortunate incidents involving the recent contamination by foreign substances, many customers grew afraid of consuming natural ingredients and had cancelled their orders. That’s why Kagari was able to obtain these rare natural ingredients.

He opened the door of his room and pasted a sign on the door that said: "Yummier than food prepared by automatic processors".

"Alright!"

It was Kagari's day off. His day off at the PSB coincided with Campagne's day off, so he didn’t have to go to help at the restaurant either. Although he had something to do in the afternoon, he had the whole morning to himself. Kagari wanted to review the cooking skills he learned from Mitsuha last month. However, the food prepared by a latent criminal could not be served to the guests of Campagne, so his food could only be served to his colleagues, the other Enforcers.

"Yo, Kagari, what are you upto?"

The first person to pass by his room was the Enforcer Kogami Shinya. The top two buttons of Kogami's shirt were undone, his tie hung loose, and he held a cigarette between his lips and a lighter between his fingertips. After lighting the cigarette, Kogami took a puff of smoke.

"Hey Ko-chan! Do you want to eat lunch with me?"

"Hmm? Ah, although I don't care whether I eat or not... but you make it look like a spread from 'The King's Restaurant'.” Kogami Shinya, his senior, an Enforcer from Division 1 uttered with a wry smile.

Ko-chan was originally an Inspector and was a classmate of Ginoza-san when they were students, graduating as a topper from the academy. As an Inspector, he also supervised Tot-san (Masaoka) and several others. Kagari didn't know why Kogami became an Enforcer. Enforcers usually don't talk about their past and don't pry into each other’s lives.

It's only when they talked about topics related to books that Kagari could get a glimpse of Kogami's past.

"Eh, The King's Restaurant? What is that?" Kagari asked.

"A fairy tale I read as a child. The protagonist of the story is a wilful childish king. The beginning of "The King's Restaurant" is a bit like what you are doing now. The king opened a restaurant in his castle, but because his cooking was terrible he received no customers. After a long time, a rabbit appeared and ordered a salad of roses. A butterfly also ordered a frog's tears soup from him and screamed in panic. There was also a frog who ordered a fried snake. It was an absurd story. The snake put on its own clothes, lit the fire and jumped into the oil, saying "Ah, the temperature is just right", and was fried until it was completely cooked. In the end, the frog swallowed the snake whole. But the end revealed that everything was a dream.”

"Why does this story sound like a hallucination caused by drugs?"

"Doesn't it?" Kogami smirked. His usually sharp gaze and closed off expression softened as he spoke about books.

"Fairy tales and fiction not only teach morality, but also contain an absurd and unrealistic narrative. I prefer them to rigid and preachy books. My favourite story in this book is called The Greedy King—

Don't eat too much at once!

Paper thin rice crackers

Taro cakes two centimetres thick

Carrots shredded needle thin

Remember to eat everything!

"I miss the rhymes my mother wrote. When I was a child, I often asked her to recite them to me."

Hearing Ko-chan becoming nostalgic, Kagari thought to himself that Ko seemed to have been raised by a loving parent.

These were the memories of almost everyone who grew up in Japan when they were young. But Kagari didn't know what it felt like to be loved unconditionally.

Back then, he was like an untamed animal when he raged and trashed the isolation unit. The staff tried to treat him like a human, but in the end he was still too arbitrary. He was lucky that they did not execute him.

"He is still a child, there is still a possibility..."

Tch. If I had heard such words back then, I would have made their lives even more miserable.

My views have changed. I think there is still a lot of good in this society despite the Sibyl System.

It’s just that I don’t fit in. When I think about the past, I feel ashamed and hurt. I repeat and regret my mistakes. But in the end I still forget everything. People are like that.

No. If I'm in a bad mood, the food I cook will taste bad. I should think of something happy...

"Ko-chan, let's make up a rhyme just for fun." Kagari said.

"Even though you brought it up, forget it." Ko-chan's reply surprised him.

"The food described in a story is often inspired by the author's own imagination, because you can never taste that kind of food in reality. That's good. The delicious food you read about is something you can never taste. That’s rather profound, right?”

The things Kogami says can make one feel there’s a deeper implication in his words.

“Things that cannot be obtained are valuable precisely because they are unattainable.” Ko-chan murmured.

"Is that so? Then what would you like to order?" Kagari chuckled.

"Let me think...I want to have a hamburger!"

"Eh, are you sure? That doesn’t sound like a challenge."

"You don't understand, Kagari," Kogami shook his head helplessly, "A real hamburger is not a simple dish. Perfectly toasted buns, the crunch of fresh lettuce, refreshingly sweet and sour tomato slices, topped with slightly charred fragrant onions; the 100% beef hamburger grilled on the iron skillet, with salt and pepper to bring out the full flavour of the meat and ah, cheese is not bad either, rich cheddar cheese is the best. It’s utterly satisfying to wrap all into a burger, hold it with both hands and eat it in big bites".

A slightly wicked smile appeared on Kogami’s face. As Kagari listened to him, his stomach began to growl.

"Hamburgers are delicious because they have layers of flavour. So, can you make it for me?"

Tsk~ Just do it, don’t be afraid.

Kagari quickened his pace and headed for the kitchen.

Ko-chan was the only person who came to his “restaurant” that morning. Kagari started with the hamburger meat and grilled it to medium.

My interest in the novels chiefly lies in more PP world building and having more input from the OG cast clears my hue.

And since I’m always looking forward to know more about Kogami’s thoughts, this excerpt was heartwarming. We don’t get much info about Tomoyo-san, Kogami’s mom, so knowing that he recalls that specific time with her is endearing.

Kagari is also a special character for me, I don’t think I could ever get over his death in S1. I frankly felt that his death was pointless, he should have continued on.

Also Kogami’s love for hamburgers? 👀 Maybe it’s just me or does it sound suggestive?

I hope you all enjoyed this little excerpt and I wish you a Happy Halloween 🎃

[webshooterrr9]

merman diary 4

[TRANSLATED INTO ENGLISH FOR HUMAN CONSUMPTION. ORIGINAL WRITING IN THE LOCAL LANGUAGE OF THE MERFOLK]

w.c: 0.8k

content warning: brief mentions of war/conflict

written with no specific character in mind - so imagine this as a mermaid!au with whoever you want! male!char x fem!reader

Diary Entry - 11/2/2024

I haven’t seen her in a while.

It’s not her fault, it’s mine. I’ve been too busy with colonial affairs to visit her lately. The colony has been preparing for conflict with the Octocrae. Those tentacled freaks have always weirded me out, but that’s not my problem. I’m not in the colony’s Leader Council - I’m just a regular merman. But if the colony did descend into war, I’d be expected to fight alongside any other able-bodied merfolk. If I had it my way, I’d spend all of my time on the shore talking with my human. But life isn’t fair, I guess.

“Hey, ule! Come here.” I turn around to see Tasi gesturing towards me, his tail swaying excitedly side-to-side. I swim over, shaking my head.

“What’s all the fuss about? And I told you, there’s no need to use honorifics when referring to me. We’ve been friends long enough.” I say, crossing my arms.

“Aegean sent for all the eligible merfolk to come to the council meeting,” he said, leading me away towards the center of the colony’s settlement. “They want us all to be present for the discussion over war preparations.”

“We’re not actually going to war, are we?” A look of concern crosses my face, but Tasi just seems to consider this normal. “I thought the Council was trying to avoid conflict with the eight-tails.”

“Steady your shells, man. It’s not a big deal. They just want to discuss preparations for if conflict were to actually happen; we were only called so that we could be informed.”

We kept swimming, entering the council building. Our settlement has been around for thousands of years, with this edifice being one of the oldest. Grand archways and spirals decorate every wall of the council building, with details so delicate that only the gentlest of hands could craft them over the centuries that the colony has been around. There are merfolk swimming all around, rushing to the auditorium to get the best seats in front of the Leaders.

I almost get smacked by the tail of one of my scurrying peers. “Do we have to go? These meetings always take forever to end.” I whine, giving Tasi a pleading look. “Why don’t we just ditch? It’s not like they’ll realize we’re missing with all the people crowding the seats.”

My best friend looks at me like I’ve lost my head, but it quickly shifts into a look of curiosity. “Why do you care? You got somewhere else to be, something else to do? Someone else to do?” he interrogates. I shove him in the shoulder, earning a chuckle.

“Don’t be an ass. I just don’t feel like it, is all. I’m not particularly interested in listening to the Leaders drone on about information I already know.”

“Relax, ule,” there’s that title again. “It won’t take long. Then you can go back to whatever it is you think is so important.”

***

I spent the entire meeting zoning out. How could I not? There’s no way to focus when my human plagues my mind. Besides, there wasn’t anything of substance to be heard, anyway. The second that the meeting was over, I swam towards the shore. When my head breached the surface, she wasn’t there. I expected as such, since she told me that humans normally don’t go out at night - due to the fact that they need more rest than we do. But rather than retreating to my home, I stayed on the beach to admire the world above. I don’t know how long I spent there, lying in the sand and looking up at the Earth. The sky was ink black, adorned with clouds and the occasional star here and there. It’s hard to see the sky from under the water, so I never really took the time to admire it. I wiggled my webbed fingers, feeling the sand fall in between them and exfoliate my hands with the miniscule rocks that made up the scratchy dust. The world was so much warmer above the surface - it was as if I was lying on a volcano rock that never cooled. But it was pleasant. I enjoyed the rare privilege of being on the land. If my peers knew, if Tasi knew, if the Leaders knew, I’d surely be chastised for straying so far from the line of what’s acceptable.

But I can’t help it. I’m addicted. I’m infatuated. My human showed me a world that I had never known, and there was no way that I could go back now. I can’t wait to see her again. I know I say that every time, but it’s true. No one intrigues me like she does. And if Tasi and Aegean and all the others punish me for being so in love with the world above, then that’s just my fate.

I love her.

a/n: will update this whenever i feel like it. no regular schedule set. sorry that reader wasn't present in this one, it was more lore-based for the merman lol

dividers by: @cafekitsune

taglist: @ninani-nanina

comment if u wanna be added to the taglist!

[their80smichelle]

Hiii I got a request! Orginally I had this idea down even wrote it on my masterlist but just wasnt working out after I tried to rewrite it.

Anyways, they chilling at his place and Dave Mustaine teach reader French (it's okay if u dont use french words lol) after hearing his recent song A Toute Le Monde, she wanted to learn as well. Feel free to do whatever lol 🙏

look at him go

a/n: Hiii! I. love. It. As a first request it’s really cool.🔥🩷

Sorry it’s long I was inspired- hope it’s okay and not too bad and that I respected your request (I feel like I rushed it at the end) (I'm always scared to post stuffs I write.)

Of course I used French words cause… I am French🤧

Time to tell you French is absolutely not sexy when YOU ARE French💀(I made myself giggle while writing this request though.)

🥖🇫🇷Also, Dave said the lyrics meant “to the entier world, to all my friends, I love you, I must go.”

But I would have translated it as “to everyone, to all my friends, I love you, I have to go.” Cause “to the entier world” in French it’s “Au monde entier.” There’s not a big difference but it’s still different. And for “je dois partir” it means you HAVE TO. But again, there’s no big difference.

Warnings: grammar obviously, French, fluff, is it cheesy? It definitely is, cliché lol

Anyway, hope you’re going to enjoy it!! 🩷

You and Dave were at his place chilling, eating popcorn and watching TV. You were sat on the couch and Dave was on a chair checking a magazine.

Megadeth just released their new song “A Tout Le Monde” and you already love it. But since the title and some lyrics were not in English you were wondering what it meant and why he wrote it in another language.

“Hey Dave…” he looks at me and smile, “Hey you…”

“Can I ask you a question about your song?” You ask turning your head toward him. “Sure, which one?”

“Hmmmm…” You hum and narrow your eyes unsure on how to pronounce it. You could see his smirk forming on his face. “The last one.” You speak. At least you were sure to not mispronounce it. Dave nods and looks at you, that little smirk still painted on his face. “The last one?”

“Ah no. Don’t make me pronounce it.” I tell him amused “Aw too bad... I can’t answer your question if I don’t know what song you’re talking about love…” Is that ginger mocking you or daring you??

“Aw… too bad for you too… for once someone was caring about your music.” You obviously didn’t mean that. You just returned it against him…

He opened his mouth wide and scoffed. Dave almost laughed but he quickly took a serious face and narrowed his eyes looking directly at you.

“Say it.” You narrow your eyes too “No.”

“Yeah, say it.”

“Nah.”

“C’mon say it!”

“Nuh uuuuh”

Dave looks at you and purse his lips “Hmm.” You mimic him and purse your lips too.

He wasn’t going to answer your question. You raise your eyebrows.

“Well. Okay.” He smirks again as you say it. “You’re evil. What’s the name again?” You feign not remembering it… but he’s not stupid so you roll your eyes.

“Hmmm, aaaa… tu- touuut, le… monde.” You say with an accent. Dave raises his hands in the air “Yeaaah”, but he laughs. You grimace “Hey don’t mock me.”

“Okay okay...” he stops his laugh and looks at you again “So what was that question?”

“Ah! Why the title and some lyrics are in French or whatever is that damn language?” he smiles. At least it’s a good question. “We just wanted to try something, and we tried in a lot of different language. We had Spanish and French, but French is the one that sounded better, and that was probably easier to sing.”

“Ah yeah cause French is easy…”

“That’s not what I said. And I have French ancestors anyway.”

You smile at this information. That’s actually a fire sentence to say.

“Sooo what does the lyrics mean in English?”

French is supposed to be a sexy language. Not that he’s not already sexy but he could be even more…

“Well, the title is in the lyrics… A tout le monde, à tout mes amis, je vous aimes, je dois partir. It simply means to the entier world, to all my friends, I love you, I must go.” He explains to you.

You were listening carefully to understand the meaning “I don’t know how… to explain that but, it’s simple words but deep lyrics.” He smiles again at your kind of compliment.

“Hey, do you know something else in French??” You happily ask curious. Not that You wanted to learn French, but it was still interesting.

He shrugs “Huh… I’m not fluent but I know some basics yeah. Why?” You look up and smile. “What?” he laughs (cutely. help). You shrug and purse your lips to hold your smile “Teach me French.”

He laughs again “Like what? I only know- “

“-Everything you know.”

He gets up and walk toward you. “Well, I know, bonjour…” he looks at you giggling at his accent “I know… Je m’appelle Dave…” You giggle and look at him in the eyes as he sat beside you. He looks at you too “salut…”

“Salut…” You repeat in a whisper. You couldn’t help the smile on your face.

“Tu es magnifique…” He says with a warm voice. You laugh again trying to hide you red cheeks. He laughs too “Why are you blushing? You don’t even understand!”

He takes a flirty face and raise his eyebrows up and down “Am I sexy?” it made you laugh even more. Is French funny or is it him being sexy? No. You’re not answering to that.

“Maybe! But out of all of this, what can I learn ??” He thinks about it for a second. “Hm. I know some curses too.”

“Dave! C’mon!” You slap his arm slightly “What?? You want to learn French to make me blush too??” He complains more amused than offended.

“HE- No?” You stop and say innocently “Sure… Okay repeat after me. Je, m’appelle.”

You repeat words after words, and you actually find it easy. He learned you how to say your name, your age, your gender, where you live.

“Stop laughing! How do you even pronounce that!”

“Aujourd’hui, je visite New York. Today I visit New York. Come on!”

You try to mouth the words as he says it. Yeah, well okay maybe French is hard. You then say the sentence Dave told you.

“No don’t say New York with an accent. French don’t do that…” You laugh a bit surprised “Why are they so complicated with their useless muted letters and their apostrophes?”

That French lesson ended with you not being able to pronounce anything anymore and Dave laughing at you trying to pronounce “Écureuil” because he thought it would be fun to teach you that word.

You both were now laying on the couch watching TV again your head on his shoulder and his head on yours.

“You know you can still try to learn curses… it’s easier…”

[muffinpink02]

Bronze Is Better Then Gold

part 2 here

Summary - Ona has transferred to a new police force, she meets her partner, Lucy Bronze. The girls hit it off right away, flirting at every chance they can get. But will Lucy’s past get in the way?

This is an AU story, but its got most of the girls from the lionesses featuring. People seem to like it so thought you guys might too.

Warnings - some suggestive scenes (lets keep it 18 and above) lots of angst, gun violence, smut to come in last chapter (chapter 4)

Ona shivered from the crisp cold morning air. It had just hit the start of October and the signs of autumn were already showing. Even after nearly five years of living in the UK the Spaniard still hadn’t got used to the cold English weather.

She drank the last sip of her coffee, taking in the grey building in front of her. Her new place of work.

She watched as a couple of uniformed police officers walked into the building, talking amongst themselves. She took in a deep breath, trying her best to shake off the first day nerves.

It was her first day at the new firm. She had been personally scouted from the Chief Constable to have a chat. When asked if she wanted to transfer it was an easy yes for Ona. The building was closer to home, it was a day shorter in the working week with Mondays off. And the Chief Constable was well known to be excellent at her job. Her team was one of the best in the city of London. She was definitely someone Ona wanted to be working under.

She dashed her empty coffee cup in a nearby bin and made her way to the buildings reception, where she was greeted by a very overly happy receptionist. Not something that she was used to back in her old firm or in London for that matter.

“Hello, how can I help you today?” The blonde smiled brightly up at Ona.

Ona cleared her throat. “Good morning, I’m Ona Battle, it’s my first day today, I was told to go to reception.”

“Ohh lovely! Welcome! I have all the bits you’ll need.”

Ona smiled at the bubbly blonde. She glanced at her name tag, Esme Morgan.

The blonde grabbed a folder that had lots of paper work inside, she handed it over to Ona.

“Right here’s all the bits you’ll need from me, I’ll take you over to Sarina, the ‘important’ part of the building. I’m Esme by the way. Follow me.”

The blonde was taller than Ona expected her to be, but that wasn’t hard in Ona’s experience, most people in the room were always taller than the Spaniard, unless they were under the age of ten.

“You’ve met Sarina right?” The blonde smiled.

Esme reminded Ona of an excited puppy in the nicest possible way, the girl was full of beans.

“Ahh yes, on video call. She’s really nice.”

“Oh yeah she is, she’s like a mum away from your own mum. Well that’s how I see her.”

Ona smiled, she liked this girl, she wasn’t like your usual Brit, she was genuinely cheery. Not fake cheery, but someone who actually seemed happy.

They walked down a long green corridor, Ona looked over at the pictures on the wall of police officers from across the years, even going back as far as the 18th century.

“We’ve heard such good things about you. I know Sarinas really happy that you joined us.”

“Yeah, I’ve heard good things about this branch. I could never have said no.”

Esme smiled, she had a happy bounce to her as she walked, her cheerful character was almost infectious.

“Ahh that’s great. I hope you like it here, we’ve got a lovely bunch on the team. Do you know who your partner is?”

“Ahh that’s good to hear. Erm I’m going to be working with Gold.”

“Gold? Who’s Gold? I didn’t know we had a gold.” Esme’s face scrunched in confusion.

Ona rattled her brain for the right translation, she was sure it was gold, or was it?

“Oh do you mean Bronze?”

Ona laughed, just slightly embarrassed of her mix up.

“Ahh yes, sorry I haven’t got my elements down.”

Esme smiled widely, Ona couldn’t help but smile back.

“Oh yeah, neither have I, don’t worry about it.” She laughed to herself, turning a corner with Ona following.

“Yeah Bronze is a lovely girl. She’s such a hard worker, one of the hardest workers on the team actually. You’re lucky to have her as your partner.”

Ona smiled, she already liked the sound of her new partner, but she had to try and forget ‘Gold’ and remember Bronze.

But little did Ona know that wouldn’t be hard.

They stopped outside a room with a plaque ingrained with ‘S Weigman’ on the door. Esme knocked a cheery tune.

In a heartbeat she heard a women’s voice coming from inside.

“Come in Esme.”

Esme opened the door motioning for Ona to enter.

“Right, here we are, this is where I leave you. Sarina will take it from here. Good luck today and if you need anything you know where to find me.”

“Thank you Esme, it was lovely to meet you.”

Esme nodded, a happy smile still sitting on her face.

“Oh by the way, Claudia called, she’s had to cancel the 10 o’clock meeting.”

Sarina nodded, smiling fondly at the blonde, it was as if she was looking at a young child.

“Thank you Esme, and thank you for bringing Ona.”

The bubbly blonde nodded and bounced off, waving at everyone she passed in the corridor. Ona couldn’t help but smile again at the brightness that Esme left on her mood.

“Ona! Please come in. It’s so good to finally meet you in person, I can’t tell you how happy I am that you’ve joined us. Come take a seat. Do you want a tea or coffee, a cold drink?”

Ona took a seat in front of Sarinas desk.

“Oh no, I’m okay, I just had a coffee. Thank you.”

Sarina nodded, smiling at the young girl in front of her.

“Okay, well firstly welcome. I know I’ve said it already but I’m so excited to have you on the team. Emma told me how much of a hard worker you are, you’ve accomplished so much at such a young age. It’s incredible. Emma did not let you go easy! But I’m glad you were happy to move to us.”

Ona smiled at her feet, feeling slightly shy at the compliments.

“Ahh thank you. It’s just part of the role, I really enjoy my job. And yes the move felt right, I had been there since I moved to London, so it was nice for a change. I’ve also heard a lot about you and your team. You’re well known how efficient your squad run.”

Sarina smiled and nodded, taking in the girl in front of her.

“So where are you from? That’s not a British accent I can hear.”

Ona laughed. “I’m from Spain, Catalonia. I’ve been in the UK nearly five years.”

“I see, so why police here and not Spain? What made you move here?”

Ona played with her fingers. “I was in the police force back in Spain, I joined when I was 18 but I wanted a change. I love my city but things didn’t work out how I wanted. I’ve always loved the UK and the people. There’s something special about it.”

Sarina nodded again, smiling warmly at the younger girl.

“I can understand, I’m originally from the Netherlands. I came here to study and never left. I then found my now husband and have lived here ever since.”

Ona nodded, smiling at the women. “The UK spoke to both of us.”

Sarina hummed in agreement. “It did indeed. Do you ever go back home much?”

Ona played with her fingers again, feeling a little uncomfortable. She kept her eyes casted down.

“Erm, not really. I went back once but that’s all.”

Sarina noticed the change in the younger women. She didn’t want to push so she changed the subject.

“Well, these next couple of days I just want you to get to know the team and the building and how we work here. I don’t want to throw you right in the deep end, even though I know you can handle it. I like my staff to feel comfortable first. Bronze and the team will be going on a raid next week. You’ll be joining them.”

Ona nodded. “Okay, that sounds good. I’m really looking forward to meeting everyone and getting stuck in.” She smiled at the older women.

“And I want you to know I am always here if you need to talk about anything, from work, to general life. We have our therapist on site that we ask you to at least see once every two weeks but you can go as much as you want.

Ona now understood what Esme meant about Sarina being a mother figure, she could sense a genuine care from the older women but also a firmness to her.

The Spaniard nodded and smiled. “Thank you.”

“Great, I’ll take you on a tour of the building and you can meet the team and meet your partner.”

Sarina showed Ona around the building, stopping off at certain floors that Ona would need in the future.

They then walked into the main office, where it looked like most of the staff worked. Ona suddenly felt a little nervous, she was fine with meeting new people, she was a social butterfly really, but it was always daunting meeting your new work colleagues.

“Nobbs, Stokes, come and meet Ona Battle, it’s her first day and I want you to make sure she settles in.”

Two short women smiled brightly at Ona, both walking towards her.

“Hello, I’m Jordan or Nobbs. It’s nice to meet you.” She reached her hand out to shake Ona’s.

“Hello Jordan, lovely to meet you.”

“I’m Demi or Stokes. Really happy to have you on the team.” The slightly taller woman also holding her hand out for Ona.

Ona smiled, shaking Demis hand.

“Hello Demi. Also lovely to meet you.”

“You’ll be working a lot with DC Nobbs and DC Stokes. They’re some of the best Detective Constables I’ve ever worked with.”

Serina patted Demi on the back. Looking at the girls like a proud mum.

“Yeah, yeah. You say that about everyone.” Demi rolled her eyes, joking with her superior.

“No? Do I? Oh just the good ones then.” Sarina winked at the Spaniard. Causing the group to laugh.

Ona once again could see the pride this woman had for her team, it was refreshing to see. It definitely wasn’t something she was used to in her old firm.

Demi then spoke. “We’ve heard only good things about you Ona.”

A slight tint of pink rushed to Ona’s cheeks.

“I’m scared I’ve got to live up to this reputation now.”

All four of the women laughed.

“Don’t worry. You have Bronze as a partner, she’ll make sure you live up to it.” A new voice entered the chat.

Ona turned around to face a women even taller then Esme. A cup of coffee in hand.

“Don’t try and scare her Scott.” Jordan scolded the older women.

The taller women laughed at her own joke. She stuck her hand out for Ona to take.

“I’m only joking. I’m Scott, it’s good to have you on the team.”

Ona noticed her thick Northern accent, she knew she’d have to listen extra hard when speaking with the tall woman.

“Thank you, it’s great to meet you.” Ona smiled.

“Ona, this is our SFC Jill Scott, one of the best I’ve ever worked with.”

“That’s true.” Jill took a sip of her coffee looking pleased with herself, while the other two girls rolled their eyes at the banter.

“Where is Bronze?” Sarina looked around the room.

“Gym.” In unison all three of the girls replied.

Ona quirked an eye brow at the response

“That girl! I told her to be here to meet Ona.”

“She probably wanted her muscles to look extra big to show off.” Jordan laughed.

“Yeah, like she needs them any bigger.” Jill took another sip of her coffee.

“Jealousy is a shit trait to have Scott.”

Another voice entered the conversation.

“Ahh Luce, you know I’m only joking. I am indeed just jealous.” Jill laughed.

Ona turned around wanting to give the new voice a face.

Wow.

Ona nearly forgot how to breathe, the woman standing in front of her was stunning. She took in the girl in front of her, she had almond shaped eyes, filled with a beautiful intense shade of green. Like Ona she had a face covered in freckles but a lot less dark and less condensed.

Her face was strong and soft at the same time, her jawline was perfectly defined, yet her other features were soft and feminine, she was gorgeous.

Her face was flushed, a thin layer of sweat glistening over her muscular arms and neck. Her dark hair was wet and scraped back, small curls escaping the messy bun, clearly wet from the gym that the girls had mentioned.

Ona was lost for words, the girl was beautiful.

“Ona this is CI Bronze, she’s going to be there for whatever you need, all of the girls will be, but Bronze is your go to girl.”

Lucy couldn’t hold back the smile that appeared on her face, Ona was breathtaking. It was her eyes that Lucy noticed first, she had wide, soft doe eyes, innocent looking eyes. A beautiful chocolate brown surrounded her iris, making her face warm and inviting.

Dark freckles covered her face, another feature Lucy couldn’t help but admire. Her skin was slightly tanned but not bronze, more of a milk colour. Lucy imagined that was because of the English weather.

It was when Ona smiled that Lucy felt her stomach flutter. She thought her face was beautiful and soft before, but her smile made her perfect. She noticed how chiseled her jawline was when she smiled, how perfectly it fit with her features. The girl was utterly beautiful.

Lucy held out her hand for Ona’s to shake.

Ona had to kick her brain into gear to move, she took Lucy’s hand, instantly loving how soft her skin was against hers.

“It’s great to have you on the team Ona, and like Sarina said, I’m here for whatever you need.”

“Thank you, I can’t wait to work with you.”

They held hands for a second longer than the usual handshake would normally last.

The interaction wasn’t missed by the other women, Jordan and Demi eyed up the the older brunette, smiling between each other as Lucy and Ona kept eye contact for a second too long.

“Okay, well. I’ll let Lucy take care of you from here, if you need anything let the girls know, or if you need anything from me you know where I am.”

The older lady smiled warmly at Ona, leaving her with her new co-workers.

“Let me show you your desk, it’s next to mine.”

“Great.” Ona followed.

Lucy walked towards a row of desks with computers and files of paper work neatly piled on each space. But there was one desk with only a computer that Ona assumed was hers.

“This is you. I apologise in advance my desk can get a little messy now and again.”

“Ahh that doesn’t bother me.” Ona couldn’t keep the smile off her face.

“I’ll try keep and keep it tidy though.”

“She won’t Ona, she’s lying.�� Jordan poked her head over Lucy’s computer. Hers and Demis desk both opposite their own.

“Shut it Nobbs,”

Jordan smiled cheekily at the older brunette.

“Trust me Ona, give it a week.” Jordan smiled.

Ona laughed at the banter between the girls, she wondered if her and Lucy would ever get as close.

“Ignore her. I’m going to quickly head for the showers. I know you’ve got all that paper work to go through, so you can just chill here. Kitchen is just over there, help yourself to a drink. Once I’m back I’ll go through some bits with you.” Lucy smiled at the younger girl.

“Sure, sounds good. Enjoy your shower.” Ona had to stop herself from thinking too hard about Lucy in the shower. She looked around the room, noticing other people at their desks working, she was going to have to try and remember a lot of names today.

She started to read through her paper work, it was mostly rules and work conducts she had to read and agree to.

Eight pages in to her paper work she felt Lucy hover over her.

“God I hate all of this, it’s so boring, but I get it, it has to be done.” Lucy rolled her eyes.

Ona smiled, she agreed but she wasn’t going to make it obvious. “Ahh yeah, I know. Nearly done though.”

Lucy nodded. “Do you fancy a tea or coffee? I’m going to make one.”

“Coffee please.” - “Tea for me.” Jordan and Demi loudly put their order in.

Lucy rolled her eyes. “I wasn’t asking you!”

“Don’t be like that, you’re going anyways.” Demi shouted back.

“Fine. Ona?” Lucy started to get up.

“Erm, tea please? With two sugars please.” Ona smiled.

Lucy had to hold herself back from saying the ‘you’re sweet enough’ line.

“No problem.” Lucy made her way to the kitchen.

Ona smiled as she read on with her paper work.

Ona drank her tea that Lucy made, listening to the brunette talk about what investigations the team was working on.

“But don’t stress too much, I’ll have you sitting in the catch up on Friday, so you can get an idea. I’ll send over some bits so you can read them in your own time. I know the first day can be a lot.”

If Ona was honest she was more than grateful for the slow introduction to the work. She was finding it hard to concentrate with Lucy. She’d never been one for distractions with work, but she was having to listen extra carefully to Lucy, instead of watching her lips, wondering what they would feel like against her own.

Ona nodded. “Yeah that’s great. I’ll go over that tonight, thank you Lucy.”

“Great. It’s nearly lunch, Sarina has insisted we go for lunch together to get to know each other. Partners and all that. But don’t feel like you hav-.”

“Yes!” Ona internally winced at her own eagerness

Lucy chuckled.

“I mean yeah, that’s sounds great. It’s a good idea.”

“Cool, do you like pizza?”

“I love pizza.”

“Oi, don’t try and par us off, we was CC’d on that email too.” Jordan’s head pocked over the computer.

Lucy rolled her eyes once again at her friend.

——————-

The conversation between the girls came naturally, they spoke about why they got into the police force, and some of their hardest cases.

Ona explained that she fell in love with London, and how she always wanted to be a police officer when she was young. She kept some bits brief, not wanting to get into certain bits of her life.

She noticed those greens eyes watching her throughout the meal, every time she caught her, the older brunette would dart her eyes to something or someone else, but she was caught every time.

*********

By the end of the day Ona was tired, she’d already not slept great the night before down to nerves. She had met everyone else in the office after lunch, so by five she was yawning.

Lucy was on her computer sending Ona some notes to read.

“Right, don’t stress about reading this tonight. It’s been a long day.”

“But don’t be tired on Friday, we’re going to The Rose and Crown. And it’s the rules, you have to come.” Jill had come up behind Ona.

“Well it doesn’t sound like I have a choice, you can buy my first drink.” Ona smiled, getting used to the girls banter.

All the girls laughed, Jill put her hand on Ona shoulder giving her a squeeze.

“I like this one.”

Lucy was watching Ona, a bright smile on her face, Ona felt her heart beat just a little faster.

——————-

By day two Ona was obsessed with Lucy’s laugh, the girl had a serious nature to her, but once Ona made her laugh she couldn’t stop. She wanted to hear that beautiful sound whenever she could. It was a good thing Lucy actually seemed to find her funny. Ona felt a rush of excitement go through her, even at a glimpse of Lucy’s beautiful smile, the girl did have a beautiful smile.

By day three Lucy had to physically stop herself from staring at Ona. The younger girl would be doing the simplest of tasks and Lucy seemed to find it fascinating. She watched the Spaniard making them tea in the kitchen, talking and laughing with others in the office. Lucy maybe even getting a little jealous when someone made the shorter girl laugh hard.

Ona may have noticed the eyes on her and was loving every second of it. Making sure to laugh a little harder at something someone would say.

By day end of day there neither girl could keep the other out of their head. Lucy thought about Ona as she made dinner at home, wondering if Ona would like her cooking. Meanwhile Ona got comfy on her sofa to watch a film, wondering what it would be like to have Lucy cozied up next to her.

By Friday morning, Ona thought about Lucy as she ate her porridge, wondering what her morning routine looked like. As Lucy finished her workout in the gym she wondered if Ona was a morning person. She wondered what it would be like to wake up next to a groggy Ona. The thought made her body heat up.

———————

“We have eyes on Harvey Smith aka ‘Bugz’ and Frank Smith aka ‘Slims’. We know the brothers are highly dangerous to the public. We believe Slims is the brains behind most of the drug operations and Bugz is mostly muscles for Slims. On Wednesday at seven hundred hours, our teams will raid the location that we suspect they will be. We’ll have Scott and her team ready with arms. Carter will have the K9s unit, Bright and Greenwood will have their teams ready on site.”

Lucy looked over at her team.

“Any questions?”

Everyone shook their heads, and Ona wasn’t surprised. Lucy was clear with her instructions, she’d gone through many different stages of the plan. Ona understood why she was in this role.

“If you have any please come to me.”

Lucy looked her watch. “It’s 4.45 and Friday let’s call it a day.”

The room hummed in agreement, light chatter broke out as people started to leave the room.

Ona went to her desk to grab her bag and jacket, she felt a pair of hands on her shoulders.

“Ready for the pub?”

Lucy’s voice filtered into her ears, Ona nearly shivered at how close the brunette was.

“Sii. I’m ready.”

“Great. Nobbs, Stokes, Scott, let’s go.”

—————-

Most of the staff from the office were at the pub, clearly a favourite of theirs. They made their way upstairs to a booth next to a fire place, Ona instantly felt the warmth from the fire kissing her cheeks.

“Right, I’ll get first round who wants what?” Lucy stayed standing.

The girls gave in their orders. Before Ona could offer to help with the drinks and also just have an excuse to be with Lucy, Jill got in there first.

“Right come on then, I’ll help ya.”

At the bar Lucy gave in the orders. She knew Jill wanted to say something as the Geordie had never offered to help anyone with the drinks since working with her.

“Go on then, what do you have to say?” Lucy looked hard at the taller women.

Jill smiled smugly. “Nothing gets past you.”

Lucy hummed.

“Just noticed you’ve been a lot more chirpier around the office. A lot more happy. Started since our new Detective Inspector started.”

Lucy felt the knot in her stomach, was she that obvious? Did Ona notice? Who else noticed? Either way Lucy wasn’t going to fess up.

“You chat shit Scott.”

Jill laughed loudly.

“You know I don’t. Come on it’s okay, no harm in it. Just happy to see you happy to be honest. It’s been a while since I’ve seen that smile on your face.”

Lucy knew what Jill really meant when she said that. She could tell the older women said it with her own hint of sadness to her voice. If she was being honest, it was the first time this year she had felt a little happier. And it was all because of the short Spanish girl sitting upstairs.

“So Ona are you seeing anyone at the moment?” Jordan asked.

“No, I’m not seeing anyone. I’m a single, how do you say? Dingle?”

The girls laughed. “Pringle, a single Pringle.” Demi corrected.

Ona laughed. “Ahh that’s it. Single Pringle. What about you guys?”

“Demi here’s engaged, with a baby.” Jordan smiled.

“Ahh that’s lovely.” Ona smiled.

“And Jordan has a little thing going on with a blonde in the HR team.”

“Oi, shut up.” Jordan looked panicked.

“Oh come on Jordan, everyone knows. You guys really aren’t subtle.” Demi laughed at her friend.

“Who’s not subtle?” Lucy placed the tray full of drinks on the table, sceptically looking at her friends.

“Just Jordan and Leah.”

Lucy let out a breath she didn’t realise she was holding.

“Oh yeah, you guys aren’t subtle.”

“You can talk.” Jordan muttered.

Ona didn’t miss the daggers Lucy shot at Jordan.

The evening was full of laughter, Ona couldn’t help but feel a little sense of relief that these were her colleagues. They instantly made her feel like she was part of the team, it felt like she had been there longer than four days, it felt like she’d known these girls in another lifetime.

The pub bell rang.

“Last orders!” A bar girl shouted.

“One more for the road?” Lucy looked around the table.

“Not me, I’m at a coffee tour tomorrow.” Jill sipped on her pint.

“Yeah me too. I’m a plus one for a 2 year olds birthday party tomorrow.” Demi slumped in her seat.

“Yeah I’ve got to head off. I’m meeting a friend tomorrow.” Jordan cleared her throat.

“Yeah ‘friend’.” Demi laughed.

“I’ll stay for another.” Ona looked at Lucy.

Lucy had to hold back the excitement that bubbled up in her chest. Herself and Ona hadn’t really gotten any one on one time since the girl joined the team.

“Finally! Someone who isn’t a lightweight. Same again?” Lucy looked at Ona.

“It’s my turn. I’ll get this.” Ona shot up, going down to the bar before Lucy could argue.

Once the Spaniard was gone all three of the girls looked at Lucy, smirks on their faces.

“What?” Lucy looked at her friends.

“Oh come off it Luce, you like the girl.” Jordan nudged Lucy’s arm.

“What? No I don’t.” The brunette tried to defend herself.

She looked at Jill, hoping for some back up.

“I’m staying out of it. I’ve already said enough.“ She shook her head putting her coat on.

“Come on Bronzey. You can tell just by the way you look at her.” Demi laughed.

The smirk that creeped on her lips gave her feelings away.

“Is it that obvious?”

All three girls smiled happily at the brunette.

“Awww our girls got a crush.” Jordan grabbed the back of Lucy’s neck, making the girl duck her head.

“Get off.” She laughed.

“She’s single.” Demi quirked.

“Yeah but I don’t even know if she’s into girls.”

All three of the girls laughed hard then.

“Come on Luce, I thought you was a detective. The girl looks at you like you’re the best thing since sliced bread. I think this its a mutual feeling.” Jill lightly chuckled.

Lucy scoffed. “I doubt that.”

Before the girls could harass Lucy anymore Ona returned.

“Right I’m off. I hope you’ve enjoyed your first week Ona. The real work starts on Wednesday.” Jill winked.

“Sii, I’m looking forward to it. And thank you girls for making me feel so welcome. I appreciate it.” Ona smiled at the girls.

“It’s been a pleasure Ona.” Jordan smiled.

“Yeah, you fit in so well Ona, so glad we got you on our team.” Demi grabbed Ona’s shoulder.

“Look after her Bronze.” Jill pointed at the older brunette.

“Oh, she will.” Jordan winked at Lucy.

Ona didn’t miss the comment, or the way Lucy’s face went a shade of pink. Before Lucy could think of a come back the girls were gone.

Suddenly the room became quiet and the air between, Lucy and Ona felt thick. It was the first time Lucy had felt nervous, they had never been alone before, with no one sticking their nose into their conversations.

Ona was buzzing, don’t get her wrong, she loved getting to know her other colleges, loved being a part of the team but she had wanted some alone time with Lucy since she met her.

The fire made a loud cracking noise, the pub still had a few people nursing their drinks.

Lucy had forgotten all words, she hadn’t been able to think about nothing else since this girl came into her life only four days ago, and now her mind had gone blank.

After ten seconds of silence that actually felt like hours, finally Lucy’s brain woke up.

“So speaking about first weeks, how has yours been?”

Ona took a sip of her new drink, smiling.

“It’s been amazing. Everyone has been so friendly, so welcoming. It’s been great.”

Lucy nodded, smiling. She was happy to hear Ona was feeling welcome, she understood it was hard to start a new job anywhere.

“You especially have made me feel so welcome, I’m really happy that you’re my partner Lucy.”

Ona’s smile was shy, she looked at Lucy with those big beautiful brown eyes.

Lucy’s face had definitely changed in colour, she couldn’t hold back the dorky smile that plastered her face.

“I’m glad I have.”

Lucy smiled with her brilliant teeth.

“And yeah, you’re not too bad yourself. Definitely need to get you better at making tea, then you’ll be perfect.” She smiled cheekly at Ona.

Ona laughed hard. “Aye it’s not that bad!”

Lucy drank her drink, looking around making a point to not look at Ona.

“You’ll have to teach me.” Ona didn’t mean to sound sexy, but Lucy couldn’t help but think her voice got an octave lower.

Lucy pointed between herself and Ona. “If this is gong to work, then yeah, I’ll teach you.”

“Fine.” Ona smiled.

“Good.”

“Great.”

“Perfect.”

“No puedo esperar.” (I can’t wait)

Ona definitely lowered her voice that time. Lucy felt the heat rise up in her cheeks. Lucy laughed trying to gain her nerve back. She tried to change the subject before her face went any redder.

“Are you going back to Spain for Christmas?”

Ona’s smile dropped, she hadn’t told anyone the real reason for leaving Spain. It wasn’t because she was ashamed, it was just still a hard thing for her to digest. But if she could tell anyone Lucy would be the best person.

“No, I, ……. my parents don’t talk to me because I am gay.”

Lucy’s own smile dropped. She could see the sadness in Ona’s eyes, it broke her heart.

“Oh, Ona. I’m so sorry. When did they do that?”

“It happened when I was 19. They found out and kicked me out of my home. They blocked me and never spoke to me again. So I moved here. I wanted to move here at some point anyways, but it was sooner than I’d have liked.”

Lucy could feel her own tears well in her eyes.

“Have you spoken to them since?”

Ona looked down at her drink.

“After a year of living here I went back to Spain, to see if they would speak to me. But when I got to my home my mum closed the door on my face. I tried to reach out in many ways but they won’t talk to me.”

Lucy couldn’t believe how anyone could purposefully hurt the girl in front of her, let alone her own parents. It made her angry but Ona didn’t need that kind of response. She reached out her hand, gently grabbing Ona’s.

“I know we haven’t known each other that long but I am here if you ever wanna talk. Or if you ever just want an ear, I’m all yours.”

Ona smiled at Lucy, she heard everything she had said but mostly ‘I’m yours’ stood out most to her. “Thank you Lucy. I appreciate it.”

Lucy squeezed Ona’s hand, not ever wanting to let go, her hand felt so small and delicate in her own.

“Hi guys we’re closing up now.” The girl from behind the bar shouted loudly.

The last thing she wanted to do was leave Ona now. She wanted to do nothing else then scoop the girl up and hug her until she could smile again, even then Lucy wouldn’t want to let go.

“I guess we better leave.” Ona smiled sadly.

“You hungry?”

Ona nodded. “Starving.”

“Do you like chips?”

Ona nodded again, gaining back a smile.

“Right, come on then. I know the best place.”

——————-

“Okay don’t tell no one but I prefer curry sauce with my chips, and as a northerner that’s a bit of a crime. The northerners prefer gravy, I like both but the curry sauce just tastes so good.”

“I don’t think I’ve had it with chips before.”

“What? Okay, I’m about to blow your mind Battle.”

Ona laughed hard, she loved this excited version of Lucy, it probably was the fact that they were both tipsy and not in the office but it was nice to see the girl relaxed.

They left the chippy with their precious chips in hand.

“There’s a bench nearby if you want to eat there?”

“Yes, let’s do that. I want to give my full attention to your curry sauce.” Ona giggled.

“Thats what I like to hear. It’s just five minutes from here. It’s worth the walk.”

Ona followed Lucy down the coberrly streets of London. She watched as some business men stumbled into a black cab as they passed a posh looking restaurant.

They came to a busy road, with a few more pubs and bars lining the street. She felt Lucy link her arm into hers as she guided them easily through the crowds. Her heart skipped three beats from the simple gesture, just like it did in the pub when Lucy took her hand.

“Just down here.”

They got to a dark stair case leading down, Ona followed the older women, she would follow her anywhere at this point, no questions asked.

And as they got down the steps she saw why Lucy brought her here.

It was the perfect skylight of London. Ona had lived in London for nearly 5 years. She had seen the skylight in many different ways. Different times of the day, different seasons, different angles but this was the prettiest she’d ever seen it.

“Wow! It’s beautiful.”

“Yeah.” Lucy was looking at Ona. Agreeing with both views.

“I come here sometimes when I need to think. Or just needing some time alone. Come sit.”

They sat on the bench facing the Thames, the lights of London lighting up the sky.

“Right, get your chip and dip.”

Lucy held out the curry sauce.

Ona dipped a thick chip in the sauce, she already liked the smell of it, so she hoped she’d like it. And she did, she loved it.

“Oh wow, that’s so good.” She dipped another chip.

“Yes! I knew you’d like it. Get in.”

Lucy dipped her own chip then, a satisfactory smile on her face.

Ona watched the girl, smiling at her. There was something about Lucy, something that seemed like a comfort that she had known before, a comfort she hadn’t felt in years.

The girls spoke about random things, laughing at the one another as they ate their chips.

Once they had finished their food a comfortable silence settled between them.

Until Ona yawned.

“Yeah, it’s late. Where are you from here? We can maybe share an Uber” Lucy picked up her phone.

“I’m in Battersea.”

Lucy’s eyes brightened. “I’m in Wandsworth. Nearly neighbours.”

Ona loved the thought of them being so close. She couldn’t help but wonder if Lucy would ever meet up with her on a weekend.

Ona gave Lucy her address for the Uber.

“Cool, they’ll be here in two minutes.”

They walked to the pick up destination, both suddenly quiet. It felt like neither girl wanted the night to end.

The Uber picked them up, both girls jumping in the back. It was at least a 20 minute drive to get home, so Ona grabbed the aux cord.

She put on Rosalía - BESO. Lucy turned to her smiling. The older brunette began to sing perfect Spanish like it was nothing. Ona’s mouth fell open in complete surprise.

“What? You can speak Spanish?”

Lucy laughed at the girls shock. “Yeah a little bit.”

She didn’t know why but it turned Ona on to know Lucy could speak Spanish, not just Spanish but Catalonian, it was hot.

The girls sang mostly to Rosalia all the way. Lucy was first the be dropped off. She turned to Ona.

“Night Ona. I’ll see you Tuesday.”

“Lucy wait, I should have your number.”

“Oh yeah, you should. Pass it here.”

Ona handed her phone and Lucy put her number in it, she called her phone to save Ona’s.

“Text me when you’re in please.”

“I will.” Ona smiled at the older women.

Lucy slid out the car and walked towards her home. Ona and the Uber driver watched as she walked into her house.

As soon as Ona got in she texted Lucy to tell her she was home.

Ona - Hola! I’m home. I owe you for the ride x

Lucy replied instantly .

Lucy - don’t worry about it x

Lucy - actually you can pay me back by making better teas 🤔 x

Ona - Fine! I’ll do better! I’ll make your tea better then you do for yourself 💪 x

Lucy laughed to herself.

Lucy - hmmm bit confident, we’ll see x

Ona - got to be confident in yourself 💅🏼 thank you for a good night Lucy, I really enjoyed myself xx

Lucy - you’re right! And you’re welcome, I really enjoyed myself too. And always here if you need a chat xx

Ona - thank you Lucy ❤️ good night xx

Lucy - good night xx

[leclsrc]

brought me here – cs55

Three lives bathed in citrus.

auds here... guys i wrote this on a whim because the concept of the intimacy of. just peeling a fruit & sharing it w a lover.... got to me fr. warnings for 1. google translated spanish and 2. a notting hill love letter in the middle. title from this

“Hey, do you want the other half?”

You present a half of an orange to Carlos, words muffled by a slice. It’s a big fruit, almost comically so, but he nods and lets you toss it to him. He pops one into his mouth, lets it crowd with the sweet taste. You smile. “Good, right?”

This is the first time you interact, over a peeled orange and then some. He talks about racing, about Spain; you talk about how you’re new here, interning at another team, and the oranges taste so much better. He asks if you’ve packed another, quietly—like he’s imposing—but you shake your head, no don’t be shy, I’ve got a lot. Swiped them from my neighbor’s yard. 

You yank another one out of your bag and peel it with dexterity. He’s fascinated by this, by watching you, someone who had just been a stranger ten minutes ago, peel an orange and hand it over. “Oranges are best for sharing, don’t you agree?”

“Hmm.” He doesn’t really, doesn’t know what you mean enough to agree. “I don’t know.”

“Think about it.” He focuses on the English, gears turning in his head as it processes through him in Spanish. “An orange can be perfectly pulled into slices, into halves, quarters. You can easily share them without a knife or a cutting board. Just talking like this, we’ve shared two.”

“You’re right.”

“And no orange is alike. So every half really only matches its other half. Cool, right?”

He chews on a slice, nodding and smiling, then opens his mouth to reply. But just as quickly as this conversation has started, it’s come to a close—you’re called to report to work and you leave him, alone and stuttering over a response.

Carlos inspects the slice, the pith, the pulp. Nothing else will match this except the slice you’d peeled it away from. And Carlos doesn’t know this yet, but you’re his other slice, his other half. 

He doesn’t know that in two months you will be peeling an orange for the both of you in his bed, offering a half to him. In six months you’ll be peeling an orange for him while you talk about moving in together. In eight months, you’ll be peeling an orange and inspecting your new flat. In a year, he will toss you a half of an orange, and you will chew on it while reviewing a job offer outside of racing.

In a year and a half, you’ll be sharing half an orange at a friend’s wedding. He will turn to you, watch your fingers fiddle with the discarded peels, and make a decision in his head. In two years, you will peel an orange for him, and this time you let him have all of it, because he’s world champion.

In two and a half years, he will peel an orange for you at dinner, then propose to you hours later. In three years, he will write his vows to you, and express his deep appreciation for the oranges you’ve peeled, for the conversations shared over them. Mi media naranja, he calls you. Always, forever.

And a long stretch of peels and pith later, he will be tucking a little girl into bed, brushing hair out of her eyes and promising an orange for breakfast. And he might wonder then, what life would be in any other universe, if he would still have his media naranja.

—

Carlos passes by a billboard of your face on his drive to work. It’s barely a drive—measly five minutes of traffic, really—but even if he walked or took a bus, the route would still show your face. Smiling and airbrushed and beautiful, on the poster of your brand new movie his roommate has seen twice in the cinemas now.

Your face is also the one staring at him blankly, sunglasses perched on your nose as you wait for your purchase to be checked out.

He’s owned this bookstore in London for five years now, a business decision that made barely any sense because he’s not even English, and hasn’t been to half the countries the store sells books of. They say magic happens with books, but Carlos is surrounded by hundreds of them, and for five years all he’s really got is a magical amount of debt and teenage shoplifters.

But this is magic. Right? It must be. A famous actress buying a book from his store. Somebody sidles up beside you; your eyes widen in mild panic.

“Oh, God. Could I maybe get your autograph? Oh, God. This is mortifying. I’m—I haven’t even got a pen, for God’s sake—”

“Well,” you say smoothly, “don’t worry, I do.” Your voice slides easily through the words, a pen retrieved from your jeans pocket. You let it hover idly while the other customer fidgets to find a good surface for his signature. Eventually, he settles on the front page of his new book, presenting it like a sacrifice.

You sign a clean, illegible scribble. He bows, then shrugs, as if to openly question why he even bowed. “Um, the bow was stupid. Don’t—Christ. Sorry. Big fan, I am. Oh, my—whatever. I love you. Bye.” He half-runs out of the store, and the bell rings noisily as he departs, his head still turned toward you through the glass even when he’s walking away. 

You turn slowly back to him, clearing your throat. “Did you still want to ring that up, or—?”

“Oh, sure. This one, right?” He points at the smaller book—The Dummy’s Guide to London—and when you nod, he rings it up. “That’s not so bad a book. None of the usual ‘Big Ben, Buckingham Palace’ stories you’ll usually find in UK guidebooks. But y’know, there isn’t much to know about this city. It’s posh, a bit pretentious.”

“Right.” You nod, hiding a smile. “And you’re so obviously British.”

He laughs, shaking his head—his accent giving him away—then he smiles. You speak again: “How about this. I’ll let you know if it’s of good use. And no need for a bag.”

“Oh, please do.” He smiles back, placing the receipt on the book. You stay like that for a bit, then on a whim, he tugs an orange out of the brown paper bag he’d brought from the weekend market earlier. “If you’re hungry, or if you fancy a talk about London—for non-dummies and actresses, maybe—we could split the orange.”

You laugh. It’s a beautiful sound. “Okay. Well, oranges really are best for sharing, don’t you agree?”

“Hmm. I don’t know.”

“Think about it.” He focuses on your English, on your unmistakably American accent, gears turning in his head as it processes through him in Spanish. “An orange can be perfectly pulled into slices, into halves, quarters. You can easily share them without a knife or a cutting board. It’s just… easy.”

“You should turn that into a movie screenplay.”

You laugh. “I’ll give you half the royalties if it happens.”

Carlos lets you meet his friends two weeks later. One of them, Lando, totally blanks and forgets you’re a world-famous actress. Charles and his girlfriend serve you chocolate, to which you’re deathly allergic; apologetic and panicked, the only other sweet thing in their kitchen is an orange. You accept it gratefully, peel it, and give half to Carlos.

A year later you accept a half orange, continue mulling over the future of your relationship. You’d been in hiding for so long, in an effort to keep him safe. But this is real, you think. It’s the both of you, like it’s always been, like it’s going to be, always. The day next, after commenting on how your handbag smelled so naturally of orange peel, your Spanish co-star says: “So he’s like your media naranja?” And when you prompt elaboration, “Hmm—like your other half. Better half. Perfect match.”

You invite Carlos to a movie premiere of yours in Los Angeles nine months later. You forget dinner in the rush to make the call time, and squeeze his hand in the middle of the film. He’s too distracted by your acting, but manages to give you tiny orange he’d wedged into his inner jacket pocket. He peels it, gives you all of it. A congratulatory gift all his own.

—

You are both alone in this life, but content. 

“Vendías naranjas ayer, ¿adónde fueron?” Your brows knit together. You’d made this specific stall your very last stop, to make sure you’d get the best oranges. The air is still and humid in Seville, but the weather is beautiful, and the oranges are delicious—really delicious. Andalusia is perfect this way.

The vendor shrugs. “Estamos fuera de ellos. Tienes que llegar temprano.” Then, as if sensing your lack of fluency in Spanish, he switches to accented English: “That man over there just got the last ones.”

Your eyes travel over to two stalls over, where a tall guy browses the tomatoes. His hair is long, his polo is loose, his paper bags overflowing with oranges. And you think, who the hell needs this many? But you don’t press, you simply walk away. You have work, a yoga class, a coffee to buy for yourself. Friends to meet. Money to earn. Countries to travel to.

Nothing tethers you to Seville. You’ll be gone in weeks if you wish to be, gone from the hills and the lovely area. But sometimes, and here especially in such a beautiful place, you always end up wondering if you will find someone to keep you. Someone to quarrel over an orange with, someone to peel it for, and someone to love. 

You wait at the bus stop, eyes watching intently as the orange buyer walks over minutes later and stands idly beside you. You both wait. You both wonder.