#I don’t want to about what would have happened if they didn’t reach out. I would be in a much worse place now I imagine.

[aplaceinme]

Buck reaches the top of the stairs and looks around. His eyes zero in on Eddie, sitting on the couch, doing something with his phone.

Looking down at his hand, Buck nods in decision and confidently walks over to Eddie. 

“Here,” Buck says, thrusting his hand out to Eddie.

“Jesus!” Eddie yelps, startled. “Buck, what the hell, man?”

“Just take this,” Buck says firmly, waving the thing he is holding. 

Eddie looks at him unimpressed, the familiar expression that says ‘why do I put up with you?’, but then he grabs the ticket. 

“This is a Lakers ticket,” Eddie says breathlessly. 

“Yeah, I know,” Buck says dejectedly, looking forlornly at the ticket. 

“Why are you giving me this? Not that I’m complaining!” 

Buck sits heavily on the armchair and tries to make himself look smaller. “Tommy gave it to me… it was a gift for our six-month anniversary.”

“Oh,” Eddie mouths the word and looks down at the ticket in apprehension. “Ok, that doesn’t really explain why you are giving it to me, though.” 

“I’m not giving it to you, or well, not really. I just need you to give it back to Tommy.” 

“Give it back?” Eddie asks confused. “Wait, he only got one ticket?” 

“No, of course not. He got two but… I- I’m keeping the other as a sort of, as a souvenir or memory or whatever,” Buck shrugs his shoulders, feeling a blush creeping up his neck. 

“Seriously? You’re not going?”

“I don’t want to go alone! The sear next to me will be empty and I just, I just know that I wouldn’t be able to enjoy it.” 

“If only you didn’t have a friend who likes basketball…” Eddie says drily. 

Sighing, Buck replies, “I know but it would be weird going with you instead of him… Just give it to him and tell him he can go!” 

“Are you sure?”

“I- Yeah, yeah, I’m sure,” Buck says, trying to sound confident but he is sure he doesn’t quite manage it. 

“Alright, buddy. I will do it,” Eddie replies, giving him that small smile filled with sympathy that he has been giving him since the break-up.

—

It’s the day of the game and Buck is lying down on his bed trying to forget about it. However, his eyes keep going to the little box under his dresser. After one too many times glancing at the box and then at the ceiling, Buck huffs and moves over to grab it. 

Buck sits down heavily on the bed and carefully opens the box. As soon as he sees the content, his stomach twists and he starts to get teary-eyed. He hadn’t planned to have a box, it sort of just happened. It started when Buck returned home from their coffee date and found the receipt for their coffee in his wallet. It had been an impulsive decision to save it instead of throwing it away. Soon after that, Buck started to keep other things: like the ticket for the first movie they saw together, the coaster of one of the bars they went to, a copy of the recipe of the first dish they cooked together, etc. 

After the break-up, Buck added to the box the pictures he had of both of them and the ticket for the Lakers game. He grabs it and turns it around, this way and that way. Eddie told him that Tommy didn’t want to accept the other ticket back and that he had tried to convince Eddie to go with Buck. In the end, he kept it but implied that he wasn’t going to go. 

Looking down at his watch, Buck realizes that he still has time to make it. He contemplates it for a couple of minutes and then he thinks fuck it and decides to go. 

—

“Hi, excuse me, sorry, sorry, excuse me,” Buck says as he shimmies through the seats. 

Once he finally reaches his empty seat, he looks up and freezes. 

“Tommy,” Buck breathes out, feeling as if his heart is about to explode from his chest. 

“Ev- Buck,” Tommy says, just as surprised. 

They don’t move, they just stay there standing, looking at each other like a deer caught in the headlights. 

“Fucking sit down, what the hell are you guys doing?” A man sitting in the row above yells at them. 

They both mumble their apologies and sit down, with their backs ramrod straight, and looking ahead. 

 “I’m sorry, I will go,” Tommy says after a while of awkward silence. “Eddie told me you weren’t going to come so I just decided at the last minute to come and.. Anyway, I will go.”

“No,” Buck says loudly, grabbing onto Tommy’s arm. 

Buck looks at his hand and exhales shakily. He swears he felt a shiver running through his spine as soon as he touched Tommy. His hands, his body, all of him has missed him terribly. 

“Sorry,” Buck lets go of the arm, even though it pains him to do so. “Stay, you don’t have to go. The game is about to start, just, please stay.” 

Tommy searches Buck’s face and, after a few agonizing seconds, he nods and sits more comfortably. 

Sighing in relief, Buck turns back to the court and tries to reassure himself that this is ok. Everything will be fine. Just two exes, sitting next to each other, watching a basketball game…

—

If you were to ask Buck how the game is going, what the score is, who is winning, and which player was the best at the moment, he would be unable to answer. He has no idea what has been happening, all he knows is that even though they are not touching, he can feel Tommy’s arm and leg right next to his. 

Even though he is surrounded by the smell of popcorn, hot dogs, and many other things, Buck swears that the only thing he can smell is Tommy’s oud cologne. All he wants to do is  turn to Tommy and nuzzle his face against his neck to be able to breathe in that smell. He has missed that smell terribly, his pillows and sheets had long ago lost any traces of it. 

Suddenly, he hears Tommy mutter, “Oh, shit.” 

Buck looks over quickly, fearing that Tommy is feeling ill or that something bad happened, but he sees him looking up at something. Following his gaze, he finds that they are on the stadium screens. The Kiss Cam has chosen them. 

Glancing back at Tommy, they make eye contact but make no other move. People around him cheer and yell at them to just do it. 

This might be the last time I get to feel his lips again… the last time I kiss him , Buck thinks. 

It is that thought that makes him shrug his shoulders sheepishly at Tommy, as if saying, “I’m down if you are.” 

Tommy glances at Buck’s lips and nods. They both lean in at the same time and when their lips touch, Buck feels as if he’s coming home. Kissing Tommy again is like getting a breath of fresh air. 

It isn’t until he hears someone yelling to get a room that Buck pulls away reluctantly. Tommy has his eyes closed and his mouth is still open a little bit. Buck wants to lean in and kiss him again. 

Once Tommy opens his eyes, Buck sees that there are tears in them. 

“I’m sorry… I’m sorry. I- I need to go,” Tommy says in a choked-up voice. 

Buck stays still, watching as, once again, Tommy walks away from him, from his life, from them. 

“Not again,” Buck says under his breath. 

Determined, he stands up and starts to follow him. 

“Sorry, sorry, excuse me.”

“You go get him, honey,” A woman sitting in the row above winks at him. 

Blushing, Buck nods and replies, “Thanks! I will!”

Once he is out of the stands, Buck starts to run, wanting to catch up to Tommy. As he reaches the part of the facilities where the concession stands and bathrooms are, he runs straight into someone. 

“Fuck!” Tommy says.

“Ouch!” “Buck replies. 

They look at each other and laugh awkwardly.

“Why were you returning? Did you forget something?” Buck asks, suddenly nervous and forgetting everything he wants to say to him. 

“Yeah, yeah, I forgot something,” Tommy tells him before pulling Buck close and kissing him even more passionately than before. 

After breaking the kiss, Tommy says breathlessly, “I’m sorry for running away… both times. I just got so scared about my feelings for you, and your feelings for me, and how you can so easily break me into pieces.” 

“I’m sorry too!” Buck tells him while cupping Tommy’s cheek. “I should have fought for you, I should have gone after you.” 

“No, no,” Tommy shakes his head vehemently. “I walked away so I was the one who had to return to you.”

Buck kisses him again, a short, sweet and tender kiss.

“I’m trying to be better, Evan. I’m going to work on not letting fear control me because I- I, well… I love you.”

Smiling brightly and feeling as if everything is right in the world, Buck replies, “I love you too… just as you are. And I will be there for you, and I will help you to not run away again when you get scared, ok?”

“Ok… god, I love you so much,” Tommy says, chuckling. 

“I love you too,” Buck replies again while kissing Tommy’s nose, cheeks, and mouth. 

[demonic0angel]

Things that happened at Thanksgiving today, but I make it DPxDC

Damian: … Richard? What are you doing?

Dick: *standing on the lawn and staring into the distance* I’ve been watching Danny try and struggle to park for the past fifteen minutes.

Damian: Oh. *also stops to watch* Have you seen Danielle and Jasmine come in?

Dick: Tbh, no. I’ve been watching Danny this entire time. And oh— oh! He stopped. Ooh, he turned around. He’s leaving. Damn, he gave up entirely and decided to park on the grass. Oh, he ran over Alfred’s bushes.

Damian:

Dick:

Damian: He won’t make it past the gates without Alfred sniping him.

Dick: Damn, you’re right.

————

Damian: *after Jason did something* what do you think you’re doing, Todd?

Jason: Lol, your mom

Damian: Actually, my mom only used you for her own goals. In fact, your mom abandoned you. Twice.

Jason:

Dick: Now, Damian, that’s not—

Damian: People who have had their mothers die in front of them should not speak.

Dick:

Damian: *pointing at Tim* And you! You may have had two parents at one point, but they definitely don’t consider you as their child! That’s why you had to stay with your neighbors so long! You’re an inconvenience!

Tim:

Stephanie: Hey now—

Damian: I don’t even want to hear you. Does your mother know you go out and fight crime? Does she even care?

Stephanie:

Damian: *looking at Cass* You too, Cassandra! But mommy issues wouldn’t be the least of your problems with your daddy issues as well!

Cass:

Damian: *turning around to Danny* And I didn’t forget about you, Fenton! No wonder you fit right in, your abandonment issues, raging teenage angst, and appearance makes you just at home, doesn’t it?!

Danny:

Tim: …. What about Jazz?

Jazz: *who’s been silent the entire time*

Damian:

Jazz:

Everybody else:

Damian: No, she’s a guest here. Why would I do that?

————

Dani: Pfft— Tim, Tim, can I— *can’t breathe from laughing too hard* can I touch your hair? It just looks so soft! *still laughing*

Tim: …?

Jazz and Danny: *also laughing their guts out*

Dani: *tries to reach for Tim but she keeps laughing and can’t focus on asking him* Your hair looks so soft— keheheh! C-Can I touch it??

Dani: *eventually swipes her finger under Tim’s nose and falls off of her chair from cackling so loud*

Tim: …..

Jason: *also bursting out in laughter* YOUR FACE!! BWAHAHAHAH

*Dani then proceeded to do this four more separate times with other people*

————

Dick: You know how Harley is back together with the Joker?

Dan: Yeah?

Dick: He cheated on Harley again.

Danny: *whirling around, flabbergasted* HUH?!

————

Dick: *carrying several bottles* Alright! Time for alcohol!

Jazz: Uhhh, Dick? Damian is right there—

Dick: He’s getting drunk tonight too!!

Everyone: ????

Damian: Yes! Alcoholism! *takes a plastic cup and takes a big gulp*

Dan: *looking at the bottle* This says sparkling apple cider?

Dick: Shhhh, just watch the show.

————

*dramatic screaming from other room*

Bruce: ….? What’s that?

Dick: Is that Jason? He sounds like he’s in pain

Bruce: *standing up* is he okay? Does he need help? Should I go and help him?! What’s happening—

Tim: Jason is playing ping pong with Dan and Danny. And losing really badly while Jazz is watching.

Bruce:

Dick:

Tim:

Bruce: oh.

[rosemariiaa]

𝘾𝙝𝙖𝙥𝙩𝙚𝙧 02, 𝘽𝙚𝙩𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙖𝙨 𝙨𝙩𝙧𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙚𝙧𝙨

“Some things are better left unsaid.”

rosie’s note: hi :), sooo don’t yell at me y’all know i’m sensitive, but yes apologies this was supposed to come out wayyy sooner but i’ve had a lot going on with my personal life i barely had time to write but luckily i finished this up! ik almost people were confused on the cliffhanger so i hope i explained it well in this chapter :) happy reading lovelies 💌

pairing: Paige x Azzi

themes: hurt/comfort, guilt, angst

enjoy!!!

march 21, 2014

The cursor blinked at me, expectant. Judging.

Her name sat on the tip of my tongue. Not the one she introduced herself with, not the nickname she had tossed at me under the swing set like it was armor. Her real name. The one she’d trusted me with just days before everything shattered.

I hovered over the keyboard. How many times had I visited this account in the past two months? More than I could count. The anonymity she clung to should have been enough to keep me from connecting the dots. But the username—UnicornPuppy35—was a clue I couldn’t ignore, not after that rainy night, not after the slippers and the shirt that practically screamed it.

Azzi.

The realization should have made me stop, made me put down my phone and walk away. She didn’t know it was me. She didn’t know I was the one lurking, soaking up every word she wrote, piecing together her sadness, her anger, her loneliness. And she couldn’t find out—not like this.

If she did… God, if she ever found out, I wasn’t sure what would happen. She’d hate me more than she already did, and I couldn’t stand to see that look on her face again.

I leaned back in my chair, running a hand over my face. The memory of her tears still burned, sharp as glass.

flashback ⤑ february 13, 2013

The rain came down hard that night, the kind of downpour that soaked through your skin and left you raw.

I didn’t know why I left the house. Maybe it was the yelling, or maybe it was the silence that followed. Either way, I ended up at the park. The swings creaked under the weight of the wind, and the only other person there was huddled on one, head bowed as rain dripped from her curls and onto her bright pink unicorn shirt.

I almost walked away. She looked like she wanted to be alone, and honestly, so did I. But something stopped me—a tilt of her head, maybe, or the way her shoulders shuddered even as she sat still.

“Hey,” I said, stepping closer. The ground squelched under my shoes.

She looked up, startled. Her eyes, wide and brown, met my baby blues for half a second before darting away. “What do you want?”

I hesitated, shrugging. “Nothing. Just… didn’t think anyone else would be out here.”

Her laugh was bitter, like she didn’t believe me. She didn’t say anything else, just looked back down at her feet, the tips of her sneakers brushing the muddy ground.

I should’ve walked away. Instead, I sat on the swing next to her.

Over the next two weeks, those nights at the park became a ritual. When the lights in our houses went out, we met under the cover of darkness, sharing pieces of ourselves with kind of fully unraveling almost everything.

She told me about the girl at school—the one who dunked her head in the toilet and called her the f-slur. Her voice cracked when she said it, and my chest ached with something I didn’t quite understand.

“She’s just a bitch,” I said, reaching out without thinking. My hand landed on her shoulder, the fabric of her hoodie rough and wet under my palm. “You didn’t deserve that.”

She didn’t pull away, but she didn’t look at me either. “It’s not just her,” she muttered. “It’s… everyone.”

The night Azzi told me about the girl at school, something in her broke. Her voice cracked, a sharp edge slicing through the usual monotone she used when talking about her day.

“I didn’t even do anything,” she said, hugging her knees to her chest. Her breath came out in shivers, her curls dripping rainwater down her back. “She just—she said I was looking at her skirt, and the next thing I know, I’m—”

Her voice wavered, and she stopped. She didn’t have to finish. I could picture it: the cold porcelain, the laughter, the humiliation.

“She has to be insecure or something,” I said quickly, fumbling for the right words. “You didn’t do anything wrong, Azzi. She’s just taking her misery out on you.”

Azzi didn’t look convinced. Her lip trembled, and she pressed her face into her knees, hiding the tears I knew were falling.

I sat there, helpless. I wasn’t good at this—comforting people, saying the right thing. But I didn’t want her to feel alone.

“You wanna egg her house?” I joked, my voice soft. “Or, I don’t know, slash her parents tires?”

She huffed a wet laugh, the sound muffled by her hoodie. “She’d probably call the cops.”

“She’s a snitch, too?” I gasped dramatically, hoping to coax another laugh out of her. “That’s it. We’re definitely egging her house.”

Azzi peeked up at me, her eyes red and puffy but lighter somehow. “You’re stupid,” she said, but there was a ghost of a smile on her face.

——-

A few nights later, that’s when things fell apart.

I was at the park first, waiting for Azzi, when a group of girls from my neighborhood showed up. I didn’t know them well, but they were loud and funny in that kind of way that made you want to laugh along just to fit in.

We were sitting on the picnic table, their chatter filling the silence, when one of them asked, “Hey, Paige, why do you always hang out with that girl?”

I blinked, caught off guard. “Who?”

“You know, that Azzi girl,” she said, wrinkling her nose. “Nobody hangs out with her.”

My stomach twisted. “Why not?”

The girl snorted. “Her mom’s, like, weird. Always with a new boyfriend or whatever. It’s embarrassing. She’s just a weirdo and looks weird.”

My jaw tightened. Before I could respond, another girl chimed in, laughing. “And her hair! It’s like, doesn’t she know what a brush is?”

The table erupted in laughter, but I couldn’t bring myself to join in. I glanced at the path leading to the swings, my heart sinking.

“Paige,” a voice said behind me.

I froze.

Azzi stood there, her face pale and her eyes glassy with unshed tears. Her mouth opened, then closed, and she shook her head, stepping back as if I’d physically struck her.

“Azzi, wait—” I started, scrambling off the table, but she was already turning away.

“Don’t,” she said quietly, her voice trembling. “Just… don’t.”

I ran after her, catching her arm as she reached the edge of the park. “Azzi, I wasn’t—”

“Wasn’t what?” she snapped, whirling around. Her eyes were brimming with tears, her voice rising in anger. “Wasn’t laughing at me? Wasn’t sitting there while they trashed me?”

“I didn’t say anything!” I protested, my chest tight.

“That’s the problem!” she shouted, her voice breaking. “You just sat there, Paige. You didn’t even try to stop them, you let them say those things.”

I opened my mouth to argue, but the words stuck in my throat.

“Forget it,” she muttered, yanking her arm free. She wiped at her face angrily, her curls sticking to her cheeks. “I should’ve known better.”

“Azzi, come on,” I pleaded, my voice softer now. “It’s not like that—”

“What’s it like, then?” she asked, her eyes narrowing. “Because from where I’m standing, it’s pretty clear. I just don’t understand after all those nights I cried to you P.. how could you?”

She didn’t wait for an answer. By the time I found the words, she was already gone.

present day 2014

It’s been weeks since Azzi and I started talking online, just the two of us, anonymously. We’ve gotten comfortable—well, as comfortable as we can with the fake names and hidden identities. I try not to think about the lies I’m keeping from her, but I know deep down it’s the only way I can stay connected to her. She has to trust me, or she’ll leave. And I can’t handle that. Not again.

It’s the last day of school, and I’m practically buzzing with excitement as I head to the bus. I can’t wait to get home, and send Azzi a message—anything really. I don’t care if it’s about her puppy or the weather or something ridiculous. I just want to talk to her.

I find a seat on the bus and pull out my phone. As the bus rumbles on, I open up Blogspot. I scroll through the messages Azzi and I exchanged earlier, just before school started. I can’t help but laugh at the part where she told me her dog, Stewie, peed in her shoe. That image—her tiny, brown wiener dog peeing in her brand new sneakers—was so perfectly her. Her humor, her frustration, her charm.

I giggle, but then it hits me. The guilt. It crashes over me, sudden and sharp, like a wave I didn’t see coming. My thumb freezes over the screen, hovering over the keyboard. I look at the conversation, at the funny banter we shared this morning, and my chest tightens. I don’t deserve this. I don’t deserve her.

If she knew who I really was, if she knew the truth about why I was pretending to be someone else… she would never look at me the same way again. She’d leave me. She would never trust me again.

I feel the tightness in my chest grow, and I look out the window, trying to distract myself. But it’s no use. The guilt is like a weight on my shoulders, pressing down harder the longer I sit with it. Every word I’ve typed to Azzi, every moment I’ve shared with her—it’s all a lie. And I hate myself for it.

But I can’t stop. I can’t let her go again. It pained me the first time…it won’t happen again.

I stare at the phone in my hand, biting my lip. What if she finds out? What if she figures it out before I can come clean?

What if? What if? What if?

The thought is too much. I set the phone down on my lap, staring out the window, hoping the weight in my chest will ease.

A few minutes later, my phone vibrates in my lap. A new message.

unicornpuppy35: p, i just got home and stewie’s tryna eat my shoelace again. i swear this dog’s scheming.

I smile, but it doesn’t reach my eyes. My thumb hovers over the screen again. I want to reply, want to send something funny, something comforting, but all I can think about is how this isn’t real. None of it is real.

boogers_p: obviously. stewie’s prolly like, “shoelaces are phase one. world domination’s next.”

unicornpuppy35: no fr, this little dude really thinks he runs the place.

boogers_p: i mean… does he not? u literally pay rent in shoelaces and snacks.

unicornpuppy35: and socks. don’t forget the socks. he got one of mine this morning smh.

I bit my lip, trying not to laugh too loud as I typed back.

boogers_p: rip to the sock. gone but not forgotten.

The typing bubble popped up and disappeared a few times before finally settling on:

unicornpuppy35: ur so ridiculous, p. u know that?

boogers_p: i’ve heard rumors.

I paused, smirking at the screen. Then, a thought hit me, and her fingers flew over the keyboard.

boogers_p: ok, real question. what’s stewie short for? or did u just look at him and go, “yup, that’s a stewie”?

There was a pause before Azzi’s response came through.

unicornpuppy35: named him after breanna stewart.

I blinked at the screen, my smile softening. Of course she did.

boogers_p: oh damn, respect. stewie’s a legend fr but no surprise you chose her.

unicornpuppy35: p, language. and duhh, hence the name.

boogers_p: my bad my bad, but u really said, “lemme name my dog after greatness.” iconic move, puppy.

I knew the nickname would get to her. It always did. The reply came fast.

unicornpuppy35: stop calling me that!!!

boogers_p: nah. it fits too good. also, it’s cute. like u.

Shit. There was a long pause before I saw the typing bubble flicker again.

unicornpuppy35: u really know how to get on my nerves, huh?

boogers_p: talent, tbh.

Azzi’s response came slower this time:

unicornpuppy35: sometimes i wonder why i even talk to u.

Paige snorted, her thumbs moving fast.

boogers_p: cuz i’m funny. and charming. and u lowkey love me. just admit it.

The reply took a moment.

unicornpuppy35: …maybe stewie loves u. that’s as close as ur getting.

I barked out a laugh, the sound drawing a curious glance from the kid across the aisle.

boogers_p: i’ll take it. tell stewie i’m his #1 fan.

unicornpuppy35: he’ll probably steal another shoelace to celebrate.

boogers_p: a king. truly.

I stared at the screen for a second longer, my chest feeling warm and tight in a way I couldn’t even describe.

unicornpuppy35: u good, peanut? u seem kinda off lately.

My fingers hesitated over the keyboard, my mouth forming into a small smile at my nickname. Azzi always asked. I didn’t know how she managed to carry so much and still notice the little things about me. God.

boogers_p: yeah, i’m straight. just tired, you know?

unicornpuppy35: don’t let it get to u p. me and stewie got ur back.

Paige swallowed the lump in her throat, her reply coming slower this time.

boogers_p: thanks, puppy. u and stewie the real mvps fr.

Pup- I mean Azzi’s reply was just a string of eye-roll emojis, but I could picture the grin on her face. I wish I could just see it for myself.

boogers_p: love u too.

So much.

I send the message, knowing I can’t keep lying forever. But for now, I’ll hold on.

——-

Paige walked into her room, shutting the door with a quiet click, as if any louder might let her thoughts escape into the world. Tossing her bag into the corner, she kicked off her shoes and peeled off her clothes, leaving a trail toward the bathroom. The hot water scalded her pale skin, but she barely noticed, the familiar ache in her chest louder than the pounding spray.

When she came out, dressed in an oversized T-shirt, her damp hair sticking to her neck, she flopped onto her bed. She should sleep. She needed sleep. But instead, her hand reached for the scrapbook tucked under her nightstand.

Opening it, her heart clenched as she stared at the first photo—Azzi on the swing set, caught mid-laugh, her curls bouncing wildly as she leaned over, her dimple deepening with every giggle. Paige could still hear the sound of it, bright and free, almost as if Azzi were right there in the room with her.

The second photo wasn’t much better. Her and Azzi at the diner for her 15th birthday, Azzi’s arm slung around hers like it belonged there. Paige could almost feel the ghost of Azzi’s touch, the warmth of her hand on her arm, the way Azzi’s voice would soften when she scolded her for cussing too much.

She flipped the page closed before she started crying again. It didn’t help.

Her fingers brush over the closed scrapbook, tracing its edges. She knows it’s pathetic to feel this way, to let herself get so tangled up in someone who probably doesn’t even think about her anymore. It’s dumb, she knows that. But it doesn’t change the way her heart clenches at the thought of Azzi laughing somewhere else, with someone else, as if Paige never mattered.

Because the truth is, she’s never felt this way about anyone before. Not like this. Not about their friendship, or whatever it used to be. Friendship doesn’t even seem like the right word anymore. It feels too small, too simple for something that made her feel whole in a way nothing else ever has.

Will you miss me, Azzi? Paige swallows hard, her jaw tightening as tears blur her vision again. Will you miss what we had? Because I do. I miss you so much it hurts. It fucking hurts.

Her voice dropped to a whisper, her eyes closing as the words spilled from her heart. God I think I’d miss you even if we never met.

Paige dragged a hand over her face, trying to will the tears back, but they came anyway, hot and relentless. She clutched the scrapbook tighter to her chest. I miss you. Every day. Every second of every day. I miss you so much it’s pathetic.

She let out a shaky laugh that turned into a sob halfway through. “It’s so dumb,” she muttered, shaking her head. But no matter how many times she said it, it didn’t make it any less true. It’s the realest thing she’s ever felt.

Because no one had ever made her feel like Azzi did. Not before, not since. She wasn’t sure anyone ever would.

She wipes at her face, but the tears won’t stop. Because no matter how much she misses Azzi, Paige knows it’s her fault she’s gone. She clings to the scrapbook, the pictures inside the only pieces of Azzi she has left. And as much as it hurts, she knows she deserves this. Every ache, every tear, every lonely second.

Because she let her go. And that’s something she can never take back.

——-

Azzi sat quietly in the backseat, her hands clammy as she rubbed them over her shorts, trying to calm the nerves that had been with her all morning. Her brothers had hyped her up about making the team, calling her the coach’s “princess,” but it didn’t help. She was still terrified. What if she didn’t make it? What if she wasn’t good enough?

She whispered to Stewie, who was in her lap, his small body a source of comfort. “What if I don’t make the team, huh? I know it’s stupid, but it keeps running through my mind… what if I mess up?”

Her mom glanced back at her from the front seat, a soft smile on her face. “You’ll do fine, Azzi. You always do.”

But Azzi couldn’t shake the unease, the thoughts spinning in her head as the car pulled into the gym parking lot. Her stomach twisted into knots, and her heart raced in anticipation. They arrived early, her mom wanting to meet the coaches first, so Azzi was the first one there.

She stepped out of the car, still trying to calm her breathing. As her mom led her inside, Azzi forced herself to smile and greet the coaches, though her mind was a hundred miles away. She excused herself once the introductions were made, eager to find the locker room and settle in before tryouts started.

The gym was empty when she walked in, the silence amplifying her every step. She meandered down the hall, her fingers grazing the walls as she took in the pictures of past players, their smiles frozen in time. She felt her nerves rise again, the pressure of what was to come weighing on her.

But as she rounded a corner, her body collided with something—or rather, someone.

“Sorry!” Azzi blurted, quickly stepping back. But when she looked up, her breath caught. There, standing in front of her, was Paige. She froze, heart pounding in her chest. Her mind screamed for her to move, to say something, anything, but her body just wouldn’t cooperate.

Paige stood there too, her mouth slightly open in disbelief, her eyes wide. The silence stretched between them, thick and heavy. Then, almost as if the world had shifted, Paige finally spoke her name.

“Azzi?” she whispered.

Azzi’s stomach churned, but she couldn’t stop staring at her. How? How could she be here? How had she found her, of all places? This wasn’t supposed to happen, not here, not now. Not ever.

But Paige was looking at her like she hadn’t missed a beat, like the time apart hadn’t meant anything. Azzi could see the recognition in her eyes, the same as she felt in her chest.

It was instant. Her face was older now, sharper, but it was still her. Those blue eyes. The way she stood. Even the slight tilt of her head when she was unsure of herself. Azzi hadn’t expected it to hit her this hard.

A year ago, she swore she’d move on. Swore that she’d forget what Paige meant to her. But now, standing here, all she felt was the sharp twist of memory and the burn of anger.

How could she not recognize her? Paige had been the first person to make her feel seen, to make her feel like she mattered. But she had also been the first person to hurt her more than anyone else had. Azzi couldn’t forget that. Not the way she laughed with her, not the way she’d come after her with apologies she could never quite believe.

Azzi had convinced herself she was past it. Past Paige. But now, here she was, staring at her as if nothing had changed. It was too much, too fast. Does she really think I’ve forgotten?

Paige stepped forward, her movements tentative, unsure. Azzi almost wanted to take a step back, to run, but she couldn’t move. She stood there, feeling the weight of everything that had happened between them pressing in on her.

“Azzi,” Paige said softly, her voice almost hesitant.

Azzi blinked, her heart racing. She forced herself to act like she didn’t know her, even though everything inside her screamed that she did. “Sorry,” Azzi said, her voice steady despite the tightness in her chest. “Do I know you?”

——-

rosie’s note: well..yeah!

taglist ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

@thaatdigitaldiary @pattyshome @sierrale8ne @lupinqs @ohbueckers @imaginespazzi @pazzilover101 @makethemhoesmad @d3arapril @pboogerswbb @kmoneymartini @mrsarnold @absolutelydreadful @authentic-girl03 @melpthatsme

[solsticescribe]

Simon Riley x reader one-shot

Simon came home from a long deployment last night. You had no idea where he was during that time or what happened, you knew you were not supposed to know anything. You were just glad that he was back and safe.

After a great struggle of getting out of his hold this morning, you started unpacking his bag that he left on the floor right in the middle of the hallway (he was too busy thinking about getting into bed with you to care about where he left his stuff).

As you took out his dirty clothes, you noticed what looked like a plastic bag on the bottom. After starting the washing machine and getting the rest of his stuff out, you took the beige package into your hands to examine it.

What you were currently holding in your hand was an MRE. You’ve seen people all over Tiktok reviewing these meals and you’d be lying if you said you weren’t curious about what they were like. Looks like this could be your chance to find out.

As you were examining the packet, you felt two bulky arms wrap around you and a face nuzzling your neck. “Mhh morning love” You heard Simon’s voice grumbling, still heavy with sleep. “Morning. Isn’t a bit too early for you to be up? You should sleep some more” You kissed all over his face and neck where you could reach. Simon shook his head. “ ‘s not as good without you in bed” “Are you hungry by any chance? I have some breakfast ready” You pointed to the pan sitting on the stove, his favorite breakfast, that you made earlier, just waiting to be heated up.

“Maybe later” He cupped your cheeks and pressed multiple little kisses to your lips. He had his eyes closed, fully emerged in the feeling of having you close to him and finally being able to love on you properly.

“What do you want to do with that?” He asked in between kisses, referring to the bag in your hands. He still had his eyes still closed and not showing any sign that he wishes to stop with the kisses.

“Well, can I try it? If you don’t need it” You held his face in your hands, stopping him so that you would have enough time to speak. “Whatever you want sweetheart. I was planning on throwing it out. Don’t expect anything gourmet though”

He left you at the counter to unbox everything from the MRE packet while he turned on the stove to heat up his breakfast.

Simon fixed himself a plate and sat next to you, watching your expression as you tried the different snacks and meal included in the bag. He smiled to himself, thinking about just how adorable you looked, eyes lighting up when trying things you liked and furrowing when you didn’t like something.

His own meal was soon forgotten, leaning on the countertop, he watched you fumble around with the small packets with a barely noticeable smile on his face. He found this quite amusing.

Trying the last thing included, you were disappointed by the blandness of it. You put everything in the bin and sat on Simon’s lap. “I’m sorry you have to eat that so often” You said while wrapping your arms around his neck. He just hummed, one arm around your waist to hold you closer, with the other, he held up a bite from his left-over breakfast to help wash away the taste in your mouth. You eagerly took the fork in your mouth. “Wanna know why isn’t it so bad?” He asked while preparing another bite for you “I know that I get to come home to you and your cooking. Makes it all worth it to keep you safe”

[elvensorceress]

very late wip wednesday that is not wednesday at all I'm sorry but have snickerdoodles of longing?

@daisyssousa @spotsandsocks @eddiebabygirldiaz @tizniz @hippolotamus @chaosandwolves @smilingbuckley @rainbow-nerdss @singitforthegirls @bekkachaos @sunflower-eddiediaz @hotshotsxyz @epicbuddieficrecs @daffi-990 @blutterlie @exhuastedpigeon @thelikesofus @livinginsunnyhell 💕 On your left you will see ridiculous pining idiots sharing a bed and being oblivious 👍 and Eddie being Completely Normal about Buck having Feelings(tm) for someone…

Buck lies down and turns onto his side toward Eddie. “Just in my head.”

Eddie reaches out and runs his fingertips along Buck’s forehead. “You still thinking about the breakup? Because he wasn’t good enough for you. No one is. You deserve someone who gets how special you are. You’re a catch.”

Buck huffs but the hint of a smile touches him. “I wasn’t thinking about that. Haven’t thought about him in a while actually.”

That’s something at least. “Good. He didn’t know how lucky he was.”

Eddie doesn’t know why other than his constant urge to be affectionate especially when someone needs cheering up, but as soon as he thinks about how he should withdraw and stop touching Buck, his hand has other ideas. And he has to dip his fingers into Buck’s curls and rub his head.

They’re so soft and so perfect at this length. They could even be longer and Eddie could bury his hand in more of them. 

The look Buck gives him is too piercing. For a second, it strikes through Eddie like lightning. But it’s gone in the next instant. 

Buck noticeably swallows hard. “I don’t know. Maybe he was unlucky.”

“If you’re going to insult my best friend,” Eddie warns and contemplates making a fist in Buck’s hair for emphasis on the warning. He doesn’t. But he does think about it. 

“No, I didn’t mean like that.” Buck leans into Eddie’s hand and smiles, just a little. “Not, ‘he’s so unlucky being with me’ but like, what if— what if he was right? When he said he knew he wasn’t my last. What if he saw something? Or noticed something?”

Eddie’s thumb wanders and brushes over Buck’s cheekbone, all absentminded instinct. “What kind of something?” 

Buck’s eyes flutter and close for a moment before he takes Eddie’s hand and holds it still against his own chest. “S-so-something like, something I didn’t know. Or didn’t realize. I didn’t know I liked him at first. I had no idea that’s what I was feeling. And— a-and what if that happened again? What if he knew I wanted someone else? Or that I have feelings for someone who isn’t him? And that’s how he knew he wasn’t my last.” 

Someone else? 

There’s someone else? 

Eddie doesn’t know why. But he can’t breathe. Or move. He looks at his own hand, happily, eagerly pressed to Buck’s chest over his heart. “You—” he says but loses the rest of the words. All he can do is echo. “Someone else? There’s someone? A new someone? Another someone?”

Buck shrugs, waves it off, doesn’t meet Eddie’s eyes. “N-no. No, but. I don’t know. Hypothetically. I guess. What if that were the case? What if that’s what he thought? And that’s why he ended it.”

What if his ex thought Buck wanted someone else and that’s why he got dumped? It’s plausible? The more concerning thing about this however is, “You’re not thinking about calling him again. Are you? You’re not going to try and get back with him? Please tell me that’s not what this is. You’ve been working so hard. We’ve baked so many things.”

Buck turns pink and shakes his head. “No, that’s not— it’s not what I mean. That’s not the point. He’s not the point. I was just wondering, you know? Since he realized I was crushing on him but totally unaware of it. Maybe it happened again. Maybe he knew before I did. What I feel. In theory, I mean. He knew I have feelings for someone else, so he had to break it off. So— s-so? That would make the whole situation unlucky. For him. Or both of us. If we were both having unrequited feelings for different people.”

That’s— sensible? Also so much to think about. How can Eddie think about any of it. How can there be another person already? That’s three in less than a year. Eddie’s had three relationships in his whole life. How does anyone manage feeling like that? Feeling and then not feeling or feeling something else while still stuck in the first feeling or trying so hard to feel something when there were no feelings whatsoever and you were already thinking that feelings were horrible— it’s too much. Way too complicated. “I guess. That would be unlucky.”

“Right? Unlucky.” Buck nods. Somehow with the energy of a nervous, twitchy squirrel. 

“Is there someone else? Another someone?” Eddie asks again. Because he can’t stop thinking he’s also missed something. Or everything. When did Buck meet someone new? Why wouldn’t he have mentioned? Why, again, are they back to crushes and this person I just met five seconds ago really sees me and unrequited— wait. “There is someone. How would you know it’s unrequited unless you have someone specific in mind?”

Buck lets go of Eddie’s hand. In fact, he moves Eddie’s hand back to his side of the bed and then deliberately lets go of it. “I was just wondering. It’s hypothetical. There isn’t anyone. I’m tired, aren’t you tired? We should sleep, yeah? Goodnight, Eds.” He turns away and switches off the lights and stays on his side with his back to Eddie.

Eddie pokes him in the back where he’s sensitive and ticklish. “You’re a fucking terrible liar.”

Buck bats his hand away and yawns. “Aaahhhmmmm not. So sleepy. Not lying. Sleeping.” 

Are they the fourteen year olds now? Eddie tugs the blankets around himself and wriggles on his back to get comfortable. “Whatever. You brought it up.”

[girllblogging777]

Pls pls do something where the reader has lots of friendship issues, and doesn’t manage well and gets upset and stressed and panicky and Mattheo/theo are super calming and know what will help y/n

𝐻𝑂𝐿𝐷 𝑀𝐸 𝑆𝑇𝐸𝐴𝐷𝑌

↳ mattheo riddle/theodore nott x reader (platonic)

↳ 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑑 𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑡 : 0.8k

𝑠𝑢𝑚𝑚𝑎𝑟𝑦 : your life is lowkey shitty but at least your best friends are here for you

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

it was one of those nights when the castle felt suffocating. the walls felt like they were pressing against you, the whispers from earlier circling around in your head like vultures. you had been running from them all day but there was no escaping now. not in the silence of the library, where even the dust motes seemed to have something to say.

you were sitting at a table tucked into the farthest corner, your hands trembling as you tried to focus on the parchment in front of you. a transfiguration essay, but the words were blurring, dissolving into thoughts of your friends. well, former friends, maybe. girls who once knew your heart better than you did, but who barely looked at you now.

how had it happened ? one day, everything was fine. the next, cold stares, missed invites, whispers cutting through you like a blade. you had already replayed every interaction, trying to find where it all went wrong. were you too distant? too blunt? did they tire of you the way you feared they would?

“there she is.”

you flinched at the voice, your panic catching you off guard. but it didn’t take long for you to recognise it. low, measured. calming in a way few things are. theo.

he stood across from you, his bag slung over one shoulder and his tie slightly loose. his gaze flicked to your hands gripping the edge of the table, your knuckles white.

“you’re doing it again,” he said softly, dropping his bag onto the chair next to you.

“doing what?” you answered with a strained voice, even as you tried to force calmness into it.

“spiraling.”

you opened your mouth to deny it but he raised an eyebrow, his eyes scanning your face. there was no point pretending. not with him. not when theo nott has known you since you were children, when scraped knees and shared secrets were all that mattered.

you exhaled shakily, dragging a hand through your hair. “i just… i don’t know how to stop.”

theo didn’t push. he never did. instead, he sat next to you, quiet and steady, like he had always been. the library felt a little less oppressive with him there, like he was anchoring you to something real.

moments later, another presence swept in. louder, more chaotic. mattheo riddle. you didn’t need to look up to know it was him. your other best friend moved with a certain energy that was hard to miss, all storm and smirk.

“i knew you’d be here,” mattheo said, dropping into the seat across from you. “you’ve got that look.”

“what look?” you muttered, not really wanting to hear the answer.

“the ‘i’m-about-to-break-down-and-won’t-tell-anyone’ look,” mattheo grinned, though there was nothing teasing in his eyes. “but we know you better than that.”

he was right. they both were. and somehow, that made it harder to hold everything in. your voice wobbled when you spoke again. “it’s stupid. it’s just… the girls. it’s like everything’s changed, and i don’t know why.”

mattheo leaned forward, resting his elbows on the table. “girls are complicated. too much drama.”

“helpful,” theo muttered back, shooting mattheo a glare. but mattheo just shrugged, his grin softening into something kinder.

“i’m serious, though,” mattheo said. “they’re not worth this. not if they’re making you feel like this.”

“but they were my friends,” you whispered, your throat tightening. “i don’t know what to do without them.”

after a couple seconds of silence, theo spoke up. “you don’t have to figure it out tonight.”

“exactly,” mattheo added, his hand reaching across the table to squeeze yours. “and you’ve got us. always.”

“but—”

“no buts,” theo cut in gently. “we’ve been through worse together. remember that time in first year when you thought you’d failed potions and locked yourself in the broom closet?”

mattheo snorted, his chocolate eyes glimmering. “and i had to break the door down? you were crying about how you’d ‘never amount to anything.’”

“and theo told me i was being ridiculous,” you murmured, a small smile creeping onto your lips. “then you both stayed with me until i stopped panicking.”

“we’ll do that every time if we have to,” theo said firmly.

“you’re stuck with us,” mattheo grinned, leaning back in his chair. “so, how about we ditch this depressing library and sneak out? fresh air might clear your head.”

you hesitated, the weight in your chest still lingering. “we’ll get caught.”

“you worry too much,” he answered with a shrug, standing and grabbing your hand. “live a little.”

“besides,” theo added, standing as well, “you’ll feel better when you’re not trapped in here.”

“okay,” you whispered before letting them pull you to your feet. “let’s go.”

outside, the cool air filled your lungs, washing away the tightness in your chest. theo walked beside you, his presence calming, while mattheo cracked jokes that weren’t funny at all, but made you laugh anyway.

and for tonight, that was enough. with them, it always was.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

a/n : quick little drabble for you guys, hope you enjoyed it !

tell me if you wanna be added to the tag list ! @redeemingvillains @leona-hawthorne @shiftingwithmars @tateshifts @rose-of-the-grave @clar2aa @iris-qt @sp7-mr @deadghosy @deadsnakey @helendeath @jolly4holly @larmesdevanille @dexoq @shiftingwithleah @sunkissedscribbles @chelawrites @myunperfektstorys @yikesitslush @slut-for-fictional-men @romantasyreader28 @witchsrecs @mattiesgf @reidol0gy @kenjikishimotoswifey @2dloveshp

[glamourscat]

¡Shidou’s hcs and character analysis!

tw// childhood trauma, violence, reference to possible SA in his past, my writing cause I didn’t proffered this

PHYSICAL TOUCH!! Friends, lovers or even just acquaintances, he has the bad habit of seeking touch, small or big doesn’t matter. From shoving to fidgeting. It’s different obviously base on the relationship you have with him. Are you two friends? Expect playful shoves, ruffling each other’s hair, if sat together legs or shoulders will touch casually. He is the type of person to laugh and slap your shoulder while laughing. 

If you two are lovers: hand holding (he does that thing of rubbing his thumb on the back of your hand), kisses, hair ruffling, legs intertwined, hugs from the back, nibbling/biting. Pressing his forehead against yours. SQUEEZES. Especially if you have more fat on you, he would *love* it. The need to hold you close and squish your rolls or chub. 

I personally see him as unlabelled. I know a lot like to hc him as gay. And it does make sense, but one can flirt with guys and it doesn’t erase the possibility of being into women too. That said, I do believe he has a preference for guys, especially aesthetically, but ultimately his choice of a partner would be base on mental compatibility and aesthetic attraction, no gender. I feel he is into someone who truly enjoys being their true self and doesn’t conform to society norms, more on this in a sec.

He is complex, as we see glimpses of this in the “egoist bible” and during his internal dialogue (like in the U20 arc). I don’t think he would be a bad boyfriend, but neither would he be perfect. Objectively speaking, he does have a rough, almost explosive side. But that’s a side he brings onto the football field. How he is outside of football we don’t really know. He is shown to be someone who values uniques, and also strength, complimenting other players strengths. He is not a demon, he just so happens to be a human with a deep complex personality. He seems to value peace in his life outside of football, which is something you don’t expect from him. Because he gets presented as this brute individual and yet he is the same who pops out this answers: “What made you cry recently?” At the end of the day when I become nothing, tears come out.

“What will you do on your last day on earth” Watch it as it reaches its end

“How would you spend your day off?” Be free from everything and become nothing

His answers are, intense, are they not? Which leads me to several thoughts. 1) He is very lonely. Using humour and anger to defend himself, a common trait of children who were abused, neglected in their childhood.

2) base on this, I feel in a relationship he would enjoy someone who has similar vibes to him but ultimately is different. Someone he can be chaotic with, someone he can laugh as loud as he wants, someone with who he can gossip and still have deep conversations at the same time. Ultimately, an artistic partner would be the best. Not only because he is into art, mostly as a way to cool down and shut down his brain, but because an artist or even a writer can see the world under different shades of colours rather than in greyscale. Classical introverted x extrovert duo, with the exception that the introvert individual becomes as extrovert as him when they are alone. His partner is his ancor. He will need to feel at peace from the turmoil inside of him. 

3)his home life was not the happy kind. Now, this has been long speculated and I will give my 50 cents on the matter. Let’s analyse his favourite movie, manga and song: 

Music > hide. Especially "Pink Spider" 

Movie > "A Clockwork Orange" 

Manga > "Chainsawman"

On the base line all three explore the darker sides of humanity, the need for personal freedom, and the consequences of defying societal norms. They create a raw and intense narrative about self-destruction, survival, and transformation.

But if we dive deeper > the movie mainly depicts SA, it’s a twist mix of violence, societal injustices and lack of free will… “Chainsaw man” it’s all about violence, power imbalance and manipulation. Denji was a tool from the start to end (again, lack of free will). The song, explored themes of internal chaos, the darkness in humanity, destruction and emotional turbulence and the psychological tool that that violence and abuse leaves on people.  I mean… can it be any more obvious? His whole character is shown to be this brute, rude, violent individual but slowly we are being feed details into his insight. Like how deeply philosophical he is, artistic and yet he is genuinely over sexualised. Maybe is a reach, but I don’t think that movie, the song and the manga choice are casual. They are a mirror image into the possibility that his childhood was pretty much terrible. That his sexual comments, which come off as almost distasteful, and feel icky in a way, are a projection of what he went through. Trying to use a distorted sense of humour and the violence he grew up with, to shield himself from what’s his personal life and past.

Like when he was locked up, his reaction was intense. He was close to begging to be set free. Again— lack of freedom, he hates not being able to be free. Something could have been taken away from him in the past. Maybe is as simple as a culture thing— as we know Japan is a rather modest country with certain unspoken rules. Its traditional outlook on things such as gender and sexuality are the total opposite of Shidou’s persona. His appearance is loud, his personality is loud and it alls screams “look at me I’m here” and yet at the end of the day he is still a lonely being.

I recently reread the U20 chapter where he enters on the field. His inner monologue he uses biology (specifically fertilization) as an analogy to scoring. Many people interpret it as him making a connection to sex, but for me, it didn’t read as such. Maybe it’s my literature student nerd ass, but, I took from his inner monologue a sense of need in terms of leaving a mark onto this world. He speaks how art leaves a mark, so does books, buildings and obviously children, showing the family legacy. Proof that something existed before them.

Shidou feels that his legacy, his needs, are validated through scoring. He feels seen, people are cheering. He is leaving a mark. Which ultimately could be validating a lack of emotional attention he received when he was a child. To me, all of these references and the constant sexual innuendos are a meaning for something deeper. We saw how each character with a heavy backstory has a trait or something in them that screams “something is not right”. Like Rin’s personality being a result of what happened between him and Sae. Can’t think of anything else to add, maybe I will add something later. If you have any opinions, I am more than willing to read them!! Feel free to reblog/comment :))

[loserlvrss]

𝐌𝐈𝐃𝐍𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 𝐖𝐀𝐋𝐊 b. christopher ( 방찬 )

synopsis | you were so stressed out that you decided a midnight walk would be the best thing to clear your head, however so did your neighbor.

pairing : bangchan x fem!reader genre : drabble, fluff, hurt/comfort warnings : language, bit of angst word count : 539 authors note : oh to be validated

The post-midnight air felt crisp as it swirled around you. Your hands shivered as you shoved them in your pockets, shoulders coming up and chin down to turtle further into your jacket.

You’d had a lot of thoughts crossing your mind tonight, tormenting your peace. And the moonlight coming through your window—beautiful and bright…and mocking—somehow made them worse. It’s been a difficult couple of months, to say the least, the last week being arguably one of the worst you’d had all year; from one thing, to another, it’s like the world was against you. And winning.

You thought a walk could clear the echoes. It’s not like you were sleeping anyway, tossing and turning in your sheets all night.

“Shit—” Your hands shot from your pocket, cushioning against a fleshy yet still firm surface. You hadn’t realized you were looking down until you finally leveled your sights on…your neighbor?

You were quick to apologize, “I’m so sorry.”

You refuted, “It’s my fault. I-i’m sorry. I should’ve been looking where I was going.”

You’d only seen him a couple times, never actually talking to him. Not that you'd had the actual chance to, only catching him as he’d round a corner or be halfway through his apartment door. And if you were more outgoing you might’ve called out to him one of those times, prompting an introduction. But you’d always let him disappear behind a wall or a closed door before you worked up the courage to.

“Are you okay?”

You huffed, “Metaphorically or literally?” You didn’t mean to ask—to burden him with your problems. Afterall, you’d never actually talked to him before apologizing.

And what a first impression it was.

“One of those days,” He replied, posture finally relaxing a bit after making sure you were stable. “You’re my neighbor, aren’t you? Moved in like half a year ago? Chris, by the way.”

“Y/n.” You met his eyes, and honestly you couldn’t tell if they reflected yours or if you just wanted them to. “It’s been one of those weeks, Chris.”

He let a tight-lipped smile of acknowledgement spread momentarily, “Yeah…” He mumbled the rest, “Like a car crash waiting to happen, but you won’t pull over?” But through the silence of midnight air you heard him loud and clear.

You hummed, teeth squeezing the skin on the inside of your bottom lip. And maybe it was the acknowledgment that made you teary-eyed, but you choked it down—like you had been all week…month—and let out a deep breath. ”It could be worse,” you remarked, looking past him, eye catching on the small flakes that danced through the air. They landed on his dark hair, disappearing with the residual body heat. It was beautiful, and maybe in hindsight you’d just lost sight of what you needed the most; a little joy in your life. Wasn’t that what the season was about anyway? Your voice barely cracked, “right?”

His breath reached in front of him, the tail end adorned with a small smile, “Wanna walk some more?” You nodded, “We don’t even have to talk.”

And somehow, despite Chris not knowing you for more than a few minutes, he did reflect you. And maybe that’s actually what you needed instead.

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back to masterlist !

[47lake]

me and you

“why can’t you see me?” she looked deep into your eyes, you knew the way you were treating her was wrong. she didn’t deserve this. “billie.. i’m sorry.” she backed away and ran her hands through her hair, “no, you’re fucking not or you’d stop, you can’t have both. you have to pick.”

you’d been seeing billie and another girl back and forth for a while now, you could tell billie was starting to get fed up and tonight she cracked. “i just don’t know what to do billie!” you looked at the floor, watching her face made your heart ache too much. you couldn’t take seeing the emotions painted across her face. “what does she have that i don’t? hm?! why can’t you just be with me?” she looked so heartbroken, you just wanted to hold her, why couldn’t you just let your guard down. you watched tears fall down her cheeks and glitter across the floor. you hated that you made her feel like this. your last relationship made you so scared to try again, you know billie wouldn’t do that to you, you just got so scared. every time you thought about a relationship with her its always so sweet at first, then you’d remembered the way your ex used to treat you. the way she would force you into doing whatever she wanted, not listening to, let alone caring about your opinion. she didn’t give a shit about you, but you stayed. why did you stay? you wished you could forget it all.

“i don’t care about that other girl at all. i don’t care! i only care about you! you’re all that matters to me bil.” she looked into your eyes, trying to read your face. “then why do you keep her around?” you crossed your arms and looked around the room, searching for an answer. “i’m just scared, not of you, just of anything. you know what happened last time.” her face fell, remembering the way you’d show up to her house in the middle of the night with dark bruises across your skin, red eyes and tear stained cheeks to match. holding you as you cried in her arms, just trying to keep you safe the best she could.

“i understand, just let me show you what love is supposed to be, please?” she reached out to hold your hands in hers, you laid your head on her shoulder. you missed the way it felt to be close to her. “okay, forget the other girl. it’s just me and you.”

a little different from the rest of my posts and a little more out of my comfort zone! hope you guys enjoy none the less, send reqs to my inbox🖤

[jujuscrolled]

honeymoon!kento , fem!reader, suggestive content !! minors dni pls <3

A cruel icy chill licked its way up your spine coaxing a soft, sleepy groan from your tired body. You hand blindly tapped around you, trying to find the hem of your blanket so you could warm yourself up but before you could find it you felt the warmth of it enveloping your figure before an even warmer touch ran itself down from your arm to the dip of your waist.

You felt a soft blush kiss your cheeks as you thought about who would be touching you so gently.

Your husband Kento Nanami placed a soft kiss to your temple, smiling down at your sleepy figure next to him. Your face was squished against your pillow, hair tousled and a soft pink adorning your sleep puffed cheeks. Truly a work of art, he couldn’t help but think.

You felt him run his hand the curve of your hip before placing itself firmly on the soft plush of your thigh causing your leg to twitch involuntarily.

“You awake yet, darling?” He asked you softly, placing another kiss to your temple as you stirred. “Mmm,” you murmured in response, trying to find the energy to turn to face him but the newfound heat from both his touch and the fluffy blanket had you lulling in and out of consciousness. How desperately you wanted to take in your husband in all his morning glory - after all, it was the first night after your wedding. The events of last night flooding your memory causing your stomach to flutter with butterflies and yet another burning heat dancing its way across your cheeks. The image of his blissed out face, his hot touch and passionate kisses. You’d lost track of how long you devoted yourselves to each other - your soreness and exhaustion now making far more sense. You were wiped out.

And yet, the desire to see your devastatingly handsome husband overrode that exhaustion. Your eyes fluttered open, body aching as you looked up at Kento. He smiled down at you again causing your heart to ache with adoration. How lucky you felt to see him like this. Hair messy, cheeks pink, lips still red and swollen from your hot kisses and his own teeth gnawing at the soft flesh in an attempt to muffle his saccharine noises.

Your eyes trailed down to his neck, adorned with semi-permanent kisses and nail indentations. Trailing lower, your eyes widened at the scratches along his strong pectoral muscles. Your fingers gently traced the marks brows furrowing in concern. “D’ya run into a werewolf last night, my love?” You cooed, running your hand up towards his neck causing a rush of goosebumps to trail up to where your hand met his jugular.

“Mm, more like my gorgeous, insatiable wife.” He all but purred reaching up to cover your hand with his. You grinned bashfully up at him before whining and hiding your face in the pillows.

“Ah, don’t hide from me, beautiful.” he sighed, reaching over to place his hand on the back of your neck, coaxing you to look back up at him through your lashes. “There ya are.” heather murmured leaning down to place a soft kiss onto your lips.

“I made you some breakfast, dear. Do you want to eat in the kitchen or would you like me to bring you your plate?” Your lips parted in shock. It wasn’t out of the ordinary for Kento to make you breakfast in bed, but for some reason you expected him to just call in room service or order in - you hadn’t even gotten groceries so he’d clearly been up much earlier than you expected.

“Ken, you didn’t have to do that!” You whined, fingers curling around his bicep. He only kissed your forehead before running his hand down from the back of your neck to your arm and then taking your hand that had previously been gripping his bicep and placing a kiss on your knuckles. “Can’t have my pretty little wife eating room service after such working so hard for me last night… What kinda husband would I be if I let that happen?” He all but scoffed, smirk pulling at the corner of his lips as he watched you blush at the mention of last night.

“Ken,” you groaned shaking your head but not being able to resist the smile playing at your lips.

“Can we eat here?” You asked, not really wanting to leave the warmth of your bed quite yet. Though you didn’t really think you could if the ache in your legs was anything to consider.

“Breakfast in bed it is.” He nodded, squeezing your hand in his before standing.

You couldn’t help but ogle him as he stepped out. Shirtless and stunningly gorgeous under the golden rays of sunlight peeking into your bedroom as if also wanting to sneak even the tiniest of glimpses at your darling husband.

He came back quick enough with a wooden tray full of an array of delicious foods. Eggs, toast, both pancakes and waffles in case you couldn’t decide (he’d eat whichever you didn’t want), hash-browns and of course your favorite warm beverage accompanied by his usual plain black coffee. You couldn’t help but giggle at the mugs he had used, white and simple with big red cursive letters spelling out Mr. and Mrs. You remember giggling at Satoru’s proud face as you opened his engagement gift to you.

“Now ya don’t even need to tell people you’re married! Just bring these to work everyday! I’m the best aren’t I?” He had cackled, clapping his hands in a self-congratulatory manor. Kento had only rolled his eyes at him, telling him that the ring around your fingers would be more than enough but you knew he secretly loved the idea of the mugs.

Clearly.

“Looks delicious, Husband.” You murmured as he set the mugs down on the bedside table before taking a seat next to you on the bed. You had managed to sit up while he went to get the food, only struggling slightly with the soreness between your legs.

“Hope it’s as delicious as it looks, Wife.” He grinned, placing a gentle kiss to your lips before greedily placing three more; one the side of your mouth, your cheek and then a final one on your lips once more.

You had breakfast in relative silence, a comfortable one full of shy smiles and lingering stares. You understood what honeymoon phase meant now, it felt like everything - every touch, every glance, every word was dipped in honey. Your heart fluttered like it did when you first started dating - though you can’t really remember a time when it had ever stopped or wavered. With Kento in your life, it seemed like everything was rose colored and bright. You could guess due to your recent wedding the feelings had only been amplified. A new big step; a new milestone in your relationship. It only made you giddy for what was to come but at the same time, you wanted to bask in whatever this feeling was. After all, you had the rest of your life together.

[tinfoil-jones]

Gravity Falls: For Your Own Good, Ch. 16

Summary: A few years after moving to Gravity Falls and having his lab built, Stanford Pines happens upon his estranged twin brother, Stanley. He mentally prepared himself to be suffocated by his brothers neediness all over again - what he wasn't prepared for was Stanley walking right past him like he didn't even notice him.

Rating: M for language, violence, and adult implications

Preface: Dialogue only, but some actions will be annotated for clarity. Cross-Posted on AO3 Here.

When Bill and Ford are in the dreamscape together, their dialogue is written normally. But if Bill and Ford are communicating in Fords head without the mindscape, Bills dialogue is in "italics", and Fords dialogue is in 'apostrophes and italics'.

First - Prev - Next

CH.16

“Stan?”

“What’s up, stretch?”

“To my understanding, you’re familiar with a… sizable number of illicit substances?”

“Why, you looking for a plug?”

“A… plug?”

“Ya know, a guy who can hook you up with stuff.”

“...Stan, I’m not looking for a drug dealer.”

“Good, because all of the ones I know hate my guts.”

“Are you familiar with a substance called Ketamine?”

“Special K? Haven’t used it, but I’ve heard of it. I heard it kinda does what magic mushrooms do, but without all the visions.”

“It’s a dissociative non-opioid, anesthetic, and analgesic.”

“So it’s like heroine, but it isn’t heroine?”

“Ain’t exactly like that, but you can think about it that way.”

“What about it?”

“I’ve reached out to a colleague in psychology about your case - don’t worry none, I didn’t use names or details - she told me about a hypnotherapy that’s assisted by ketamine.”

“Hypnosis? Like, mind control?”

“That’s a popular misconception - hypnotherapy has been called hypnotic suggestion, but the goal is to bring the patient in question into a greater state of focus with less peripheral awareness, so they may relax and turn their attention inward. Are you following me, Stan?”

“It… blocks out background noise?”

“In a way, yes, just with thoughts. I don’t believe your memories are gone, they’re just buried under a lot of mental clutter and distractions.”

“And ketamine helps with that?”

“It’s a dissociative drug, it’s meant to help with trauma by approaching it without connecting to it. Would you be interested in something like that?”

“I thought you said you weren’t an actual therapist, where would you even get-.”

“I’m not going to be conducting the session, it’s going to be that colleague I just mentioned.”

“... I dunno F, I don’t have the greatest history with shrinks.”

“You’ve seen therapists before?”

“Seen is…a word.”

“What happened?”

“Do the words ‘padded room’, ‘cozy jacket’, and ‘solitary confinement’ mean anything to you?”

“... Institutions don’t do sol-.”

“That’s what they want you to think. Anyways, half of the therapists I ever had quit because of me.”

“What about the other half?”

“Ended up in the same looney bin.”

“That can’t be true.”

“Your friend turned crazy as soon as we met.”

“Stanford is not crazy.”

“Can you say that with a straight face?”

“He’s eccentric.”

“Wait, he's gay? I thought he wasn’t anything.”

“That isn’t what eccentric means. And- back to topic, please. What if myself or Stanford were there with you and we didn’t leave you alone with the therapist? Would you agree then?”

“...Alright, if you really think it’ll help.”

“Excellent! Thank you, Stan; we’ll get you right as rain before you know it.”

“...Did we really need to talk about this in the afterglow?”

“Yeah we did.”

(...)

“You guys are on your own, I’m not getting in that thing.”

“Stanley, it is just a boat.”

“So was the Titanic, and it disappeared forever.”

“There have been talks about another expedition to find it.”

“Fiddleford, please. Stanley, this isn’t the ocean, this is a mere lake. Scuttlebutt Island is only accessible by boat.”

“I told you I’d help you on your monster hunting bullshit, but you didn’t mention we’d have to get on the water to do it.”

“Come on, at least get closer than the tree line.”

“No!”

“You are being ridiculous right now. You have faced drug lords, Mothman, loan sharks, and the actual Jersey Devil, and this is where you draw the-.”

“I wouldn’t make you do something if you didn’t want to, PhD.”

“...Fine. Stay here and watch over our campsite at least. If we’re not back by tonight-.”

“Yeah, yeah start arranging your funerals, got it.”

(...)

“What are your theories so far on this cryptid, Stanford?”

“Based on descriptions I’ve gathered from local reports, and limited sonar exploration, I believe the description most closely matches a marine reptile that disappeared in the Cretaceous–Paleogene extinction event; a plesiosaur. Or, at the very least, a distant descendant.”

“Sounds less like cryptozoology and more like paleontology. Maybe we should call it something else.”

“Such as?”

“How about Oddopoddo?”

“No.”

“Scuttlebdis?”

“A mouthful, really.”

“The Gobblewonker.”

“We’ll workshop it.”

“Well kettle my corn, it looks like we’re close to the shore; sure are a lot of big muskrats here.”

“Fiddleford, we both know those are beavers and not nutria.”

“Wait- Stanford, stop. Is that big rock formation over there… moving?”

(...)

“Heya Fordsy! You’re invoking Think Fast?”

“Think Fast?”

“You know, when you meditate into the Dreamscape so you can think faster than the time around you. What you’re doing right now.”

“You’ve never called it that before, my muse.”

“I know but for exposition purposes I need to call it something. Whattaya need to Think Fast for?”

“The cryptid we’ve termed “The Gobblewonker” chased us on our boat and trapped us in the islands cove. In an attempt to catch us, the creature slammed itself into the cave wall and triggered a rock slide. We’re trapped in a cavern and it is filling up with water, and the entrance was the only exit we knew of. Fiddleford is also unconscious, and cannot assist me.”

“Ooh, how dangerous. So, what are you going to do about it?”

“I need to be out-of-body while my perception is sped up so I can check for more exits without worrying about water or gravity. 

“Out-of-body experience coming right up, IQ!”

(...)

‘Man, those guys have been gone for a while. They shoulda been back at least an hour ago.’

‘Whatever, PhD’s the monster hunter here, whatever trouble they get into he can probably handle it.’

‘...’

‘And even if he couldn’t, it’s not my problem. I’m only staying with him so I have a bed to sleep in and a roof over my head. It’s not like I actually care.’

‘He did kidnap me and stick me in his basement after all. And sure his friend is hot and gives great benefits, but it's not like he tried to free me even when he knew it was wrong.’

‘...’

‘So what if they might be in danger?'

'It doesn't bother me.’  

‘It doesn't bother me.’

‘It bothers me!’

‘IT BOTHERS ME A LOT!’

(...)

“Fiddleford! Fiddleford, wake up!”

“Ow… my achin’ noggin-. Wha happened?”

“You saw the cryptid and fainted.”

“Where are we? Why’re we all wet?”

“We are trapped in a cavern that the Gobblewonker chased us into. There’s only one exit left - there’s a tunnel through and up this ridge, but it tapers off from loose rocks from a rockslide. You might be thin and flexible enough to squeeze through the hole that remains.”

“What about you?”

“On the other side I’d need you to manually move enough of these rocks so I can slide through as well. We can’t waste any time - the cavern is filling up with water faster than the exit could drain it.”

“Okay, I’ll get through slicker than owl sh-.”

“Fiddleford, this is no time for Southernisms.’

“Right, right. Yeeow, that’s smarts- I got most of both shoulders through Stanford but I’m gonna need a boost.”

“Alright, I‘ll push you on your count of three.”

“Gotcha. One, two, thre-! SWEET BABY JESUS-!”

“Are you okay?”

“I-. I think I w-wrenched out my damn shoulder…”

“Can you relocate it?”

“L-lemme try- HRK! No, not by myself. I’ll try to clear out the rubble with my good arm.”

“Alright but please, with the best of your ability, be quick.”

“Just keep talking to me, friend, I need to know that you’re still breathing back there.”

“It is not getting easier.”

“I’m moving, I’m moving. Just stay with me. We can do this.”

“I’m running out of headspace…”

“Come on- just a few more more rocks to go, I- Stanford? Stanford!”

“Sixer, I’m going to put your body in hibernation, it’s the only way you can preserve oxygen. It’s not cold enough for you to go into that state naturally.”

‘How much time does that buy me, Cipher?’

“About five more lines.”

‘Lines of what?’

“You’re about to find out.”

*water suddenly starts rushing out much faster, and a hand grabs Ford by the collar, dragging him out of the tunnel forcefully*

“-ay? Can you hear me, Stanford?”

“S… Stanley..?”

“Oh good, you came to on your own. I wasn’t gonna ‘kiss of life’ you.”

“Lord have mercy, you gave us a real fright there! You’re still shaking like a leaf on a tree, though.”

“Can you stand, Doc?”

“Y-yes, yes of course. Just- just help me up, please.”

“Yeah yeah, I gotcha.”

“It’s a good thing you came when you did, Stan, I wasn’t getting those rocks cleared fast enough.”

“What’s up with your arm, specs?”

“I dislocated my shoulder going through the tunnel.”

“Need help putting that back? It’s happened to me a couple times.”

“Actually, I think I’d rather- Stan?! Stan no-!”

POP

“There you go, good as new.”

“Ow…”

“Stanley?”

“What’s up?”

“Why’d you come here?”

“You guys were taking too long, figured something was up.”

“But… we are on an island, how did you get here?”

“Details ain’t important.”

“You’re also soaking wet.”

“Can it, PhD. I said details ain’t important.”

To be continued…

[therealmylesmorales]

Hi! ive read some of ur work lara croft x reader and I love them so so much you write her so well, I was wondering if u could write one with lara and fem reader asking her to give up being an archeologist (live a more safe life with her) and settle down

thank u if u ever consider this 🩷 and ty for your previous works

Anon, I hope you know that I love you and sorry this took a while

Another pick I stole borrowed from the pookie @laracroftsfiance 🫶🏾 featuring Lara’s resting sad face

WC: 1k

Do I Look Like Him?

You hesitated by the large double oak doors. There was a hint of light you could see through the cracks so you know Lara was in there. But whether she wanted to talk to you was a different story.

Her latest research led her to South Africa; an amulet that her father had suspicions about but never had the chance to see if it was true. She was within arms reach of the jewel but multiple surprise explosions from Trinity caused it to fall into the ocean, forever lost to the sea.

But maybe it was better that way. Now, no one had to worry about it landing in the wrong hands.

Lara thought differently. She never told you what happened during this trip like she normally would. If anything, she was quiet—tense even. It worried you.

You finally tapped your knuckles on the wood before cracking it open. Lara was sitting in her chair, hunched over her desk with an old journal opened in front of her. You thought your presence in the room went unnoticed until she finally spoke to you when you walked next to her.

“Why are you still up?” She asked quietly, her full attention still not on you .

”You weren’t in bed,” you said. “I figured you would be in here especially since you should be resting.”

”I’m fine.”

”Lara, you got shot in the stomach,” you said, your tone getting sharp. “You almost died.”

She muttered out a response. “It’s not the first time I got shot, love.”

”You almost died,” you repeated. “You passed out twice as I was patching you up. Figuring out where Trinity is can wait, you need rest.”

Lara didn’t answer but seeing her jaw tightened, you could tell she was getting annoyed by the conversation. You took a second to calm yourself.

”Listen, Lara, I didn’t come here to argue with you,” you said softly. “I wanted to talk to you…about you retiring.”

”Retirement?” Lara parroted, finally giving you a look.

”Everytime you come back from wherever the hell, you seem to get closer to death,” your voice was shaky but you powered through it. “And one of these days, your luck might run out and I couldn’t live with that! A-and not to mention this obsession you have with Trinity. I get it, Lara, I really do but you’re acting like your fat—“

Lara’s sudden and sharp tone cut off your small rant, not wanting to hear those words coming from you. “Y/N! I don’t have time for this right now. I’m trying to focus but I can’t do that with you here. So…please leave.”

You both sat in tense silence. Lara never yelled, at least never at you, so safe to say this was uncharted territory. You could only stare at her back in shock, noticing that she paid more attention to the written words rather than the ones said to you.

“Fine, Lara,” you scoffed, leaving the brunette to her endeavors.

The pencil tapped against her desk, the words in front of her not being processed. “Retirement,” she repeated, the word foreign on her tongue. “I bet you never considered that.”

The picture she was talking to, one of both of her mother and father, only answered her with silence. Over her years growing up, Lara couldn’t remember most memories with her father. It was always her and her mother, and the severents of the manor. But what she did remember of her father was the arguments he had with her mother, regarding him prioritizing his over his family. Then when her mother died, he only buried himself deeper.

Maybe if he did consider retiring, things would be different for Lara. Maybe her parents would still be alive.

And instead of listening to your words, Lara seemed to be following in her father’s footsteps.

”Fuck,” Lara muttered, rubbing her hands over her face. She sat alone with her thoughts for a little longer, thinking on what to say to you.

Lara stalled for time when she cleaned up the little mess that was in her office before walking to your shared bedroom.

Lara carefully pushed the bedroom door opened, expecting to see you still awake waiting for her. Instead, your body was turned away from her, body completely covered by the heavy blankets. Lara wasn’t sure if you were awake or pretending to be asleep but she was still extra quiet when she crawled into bed next to you; she left a small amount of space between you both, not sure if you were up for cuddling.

”I’m sorry,” she whispered. Lara could hear you release a soft sigh at her apology, but you didn’t interrupted her. “I shouldn’t have snapped at you.”

”I was only trying to help, Lara,” was all you said.

”I know. I know, and I appreciate that—you very much.” Her hand reached to caress your shoulder, urging you to turn and face her. “And…and I understand what you want. And you’re right.”

”I’m right?” Those were words you never really heard from Lara, at least seriously, so hearing this was new.

She had a hard time getting her words together. “I never…considered retiring, until you. The adventure, that’s all I’ve known. I guess you can say that I’ve grown accustomed to it, even despite my injuries. But, if it comes to you or my job, I will choose you every time.”

”Lara…”

”I will retire,” she said, placing her palm over your cheek. “And as long as you’ll have me, I’ll be with you.”

You stayed silent, searching her face for any sign of her second guessing; but all you saw was her undying love for you. Your own hand reached to cover the one that was holding your face, rubbing your thumb over Lara’s scared knuckles.

A wordless acceptance that eased most of Lara’s nerves.

”May I have a kiss?” Granted, she could get one whenever she wants but Lara didn’t know if you were too upset.

A soft smile was her answer before you softly pressed your lips against her pouted ones. And when your forehead rested against her own, Lara felt at completely ease.

[thisonegirl]

Hello, whoever you are

pairing : touya “dabi” todoroki x reader rating : sfw warnings : mentions of death wc : 1.5k (edited) part I part II part III ps: yes, I'm aware that it's unlikely that he'd be able to speak this much but just pretend okay

Y/N’s body shook violently where she stood. 

Her mind spinning as the question of whether she was doing the right thing plagued her.

With the war being over and everyone worried about rebuilding their lives from the destruction, Y/N had a secondary worry. She had seen the destruction Dabi left and she couldn’t help but wonder if he was alive after all that happened.

In a singular moment of courage in her life, she asked. Such a simple action that she knew would have further repressed hence her fear, but she still did it. 

“How do you know him?”

She had been asked in return. And so the retelling of that story began. Luckily, she had no useful information so it wasn’t too bad that she hadn’t spoken up before but the guilt of having kept silent for so long gnawed at her conscience.

Now, she stood before the hospital with her feet glued to the ground beneath her, staring at the building that now held her… acquaintance? If she could even call him that.

“You’re the one who was asking about him, right?”

A soft yet raspy voice asked from beside her. Its sudden appearance startled her, making her head snap to the left to face its owner.

It was a boy. His hair was half white and half red and a burn scar marred the left side of his face. Y/N recognized him. She had seen him a couple of times on television and she knew that he was Endeavor's youngest son. The half-cold, half-hot hero. 

Remembering that he had asked a question, she snapped out of her trance just enough to provide a nod as a response.

“Are you going in?” He asked.

“Oh- Uh, I-I’m not sure,” she stammered. She wasn’t sure she was willing to face him. She didn’t even know if he wanted to see her. Especially since she so rudely sent him away that one night.

“Why not?” The question felt a bit intrusive but she responded either way.

“I don’t think he’d want to see me,” she explained.

“He doesn’t want to see anyone. He hates all of us actually but what matters is that we’re there regardless,” the softness of his tone soothed Y/N. The trembling of her body slowly eased as he offered a comforting smile.

“Wanna come in with me?” 

She nodded following him as they made their way inside the hospital. It was full, all of them were to be fair. She felt a bit relieved that she wouldn’t have to navigate these full halls in search of the correct room as the boy walked with confidence so she was sure he already knew the way. 

As they neared the door of the room where Dabi would be in, their steps slowed significantly until they reached a full stop right in front of said door.

“You can go in first.”

“No!” She burst out before she could stop herself, “I mean- uh… h-he’s your brother. You should go first.” 

“Like you said, he’s my brother soI come here quite often. Maybe seeing a new face would be good for him,” he said. Sighing, she nodded before hesitantly opening the door. 

The room was mostly bare except for a large machine a couple of chairs in front of it. With furrowed brows, Y/N slowly inched closer to it only to gasp at the sight before her. Inside the machine, dwelled an unrecoverably burnt Dabi and that when it clicked: it was his life support.

Tears welled in her eyes as she took in the man’s deteriorated state. Was there anything she could’ve done to make him see reason? To make him stay that night when he had dinner at her home? 

“What are you doing here?” His voice was hoarser than before and he spoke slowly as though uttering each word was a struggle. It likely was actually.

“I came to see you,” she whispered, still shocked by his state.

“Why?”

“I don’t know…” she trailed off, not knowing what to say in general. She stared at him as they stood before each other in silence, both analyzing the other.

“I guess you were right,” he said after what felt like an eternity of silence. Y/N knew exactly what he meant and it broke her heart that that was his first thought. “I should’ve stayed with you that night.”

“I’m sorry,” was all she could think to say.

“My family visits me everyday. They missed me all this time,” she could swear she heard his voice tremble a bit, “I could’ve just gone home, maybe if I had stayed with you, I would’ve eventually.”

“I met your younger brother, the one from UA. He seemed nice,” she said in a shaky voice, only then did she notice she was crying.

“Yeah, he comes by a lot too. I used to hate him, you know,” he admitted.

“You hated everyone,” Y/N retorted.

“I know. But I hated him first and most,”

“Why? He seems to love you so much,” Y/N questioned, emboldened by the fact that he was already opening up to her.

“I wanted to be what he was in my dad’s eyes,” the confession broke her heart. To feel so inadequate and unloved that he turned to cruelty and villainy was a heartbreaking thing. 

Y/N knew that Endeavor must’ve felt guilty for all that happened and quite frankly, he deserved to feel so.

“How are you?” She asked. Only after did she process how stupid her question was in face of his current circumstances, “Nevermind, I-“

“I’m fine…” he responded, “might not look like it but I am,”

“Oh but -“

“How? I got my family back and I know I don’t have much longer so it’s nice to have them around for now,”

Her heart stopped for a split second. I don't have much longer. What?

“W-What do you mean by that?” She questioned with a slight quiver to her lip as she felt her chest tighten as tears flow faster.

“You know what I mean,” he said. A sob escaped her lips, “I didn’t know I matter this much to you,” he continued, “now I really regret not staying.”

“I wish you stayed too,” she cried. “I hoped you’d come back or at least not go to them. I should’ve tried to make you stay! I should’ve done something!”

“No. There was nothing you could’ve done,” he opposed, “nothing that wouldn’t be met with danger and you had to think about the kids too.”

She didn’t respond any further. Just stood there sobbing her heart out as she struggled to speak.

“I could’ve loved you,” Dabi confessed, “I knew I could when you called me Dabi and I hated it.” Y/N’s sobs stopped as she stared at him in pure shock. Her heart sped up, pounding against her chest as she struggled to make sense of what he said.

“I think I did- or do love you,” she said, “I think that’s why I feel so guilty.”

“Don’t. I brought this on myself.”

“Still! Everyone did their best to try and help and I just sat there like a coward!” She burst out, “I could have done something!”

“It doesn’t matter now. All we can do it think about the future,”

“You just said you don’t have long,” she sobbed.

“I know. But I want you to be here for the time I have left.”

She shook her head. With her legs finally growing tired, she took a seat in one of the chairs in front of Touya’s machine.

“Why did everything have to be like this?” She wondered out loud.

“I don’t know.”

A knock on the door called for both of their attention. A warning that their time was up. Sniffling and wiping her face, she got up from her seat and looked at Touya once more.

“Can I come by again?” She asked hopefully.

“Yes, I’d like that,” he responded, making her smile softly.

“Bye for now then-“ she stopped hesitantly. “Is it Dabi or Touya now?” 

“I’ll be whoever for you,” he responded. She smiled shyly before continuing her goodbyes and leaving the room.

Finding Touya’s brother still waiting in the hallway, she felt bad for the time she took, “Hi, thanks for helping me find his room,” she said to the boy once he noticed her presence.

“No problem,” he smiled, “hope to see you again.”

“You will,” she said confidently.

She left the hospital feeling much lighter and at ease. It was bittersweet but she decided to only focus on the sweetness of the situation rather than the bitterness of it.

The next day, Y/N walked into the hospital with no hesitation. She found his room with little to no effort and sat before him with a new found sense of what she could describe as belonging.

“Hello,” she said, smiling at him from the other side of the glass of the machine where he laid.

“Is it Touya or Dabi to you,” he said, sensing a little teasing in his tone.

“Hello, whoever you are,” she teased back.

The laughter they shared felt like a marking of a new beginning. They were both aware of how short lived it would be but that didn’t matter at that moment. They figured that the ‘now’ was more important and what they should focus on.

——————————

masterlist

[quotesfrommyreading]

The ongoing war in Sudan and the ensuing humanitarian crisis has pushed people to the brink. At the borders of conflict zones, selling a kidney is becoming a currency of last resort for people seeking refuge. In June 2023, I managed to contact two young Sudanese women who had fled the fighting in Khartoum. In April 2023, Rania was with her friend Fatima, both students at the University of Khartoum, when the RSF raided the main campus, on the banks of the Nile. “We were trying to hide from the fighting,” Rania told me on the phone. “There were a lot of [female] students there who were afraid to leave. We thought we would be safe, but they found us and forced us to have sex with them.”

Soon after that they packed up their belongings and took a bus heading towards the border with South Sudan. They had heard the route south was cheaper than trying to go north to Egypt, and Rania had a brother living in Kampala, Uganda, whom they hoped to join. It was a seven-day journey from Khartoum to Renk, a small town in South Sudan close to the border where thousands of people had set up temporary camps in bleak conditions. A lack of food, water, healthcare and sanitation had left people at increased risk of disease, malnutrition and violence. There were hundreds of new arrivals each day. “People are crammed together under tarpaulins,” Rania said. “There are mosquitoes everywhere. There’s not enough food, water, soap. Everyone is desperate for assistance. It’s chaos.”

When Rania and Fatima arrived at a makeshift camp on the outskirts of the town, they were approached by soldiers in plain clothes selling tickets for flights from a small airstrip outside Renk to South Sudan’s capital, Juba, and the city of Nimule. The flights, which should form part of the humanitarian corridor, are being controlled by armed militias charging exorbitant fees to board them. “They wanted a lot of money,” Rania said. “The price would go up every day. They said if we didn’t have any money we could have sex with them.”

When they refused, they were told there was something else they could sell: a kidney. “They said that this was the only way we were going to get a flight out of here,” Fatima said. “There were two men who had agreed to this [selling a kidney], but I don’t know what happened to them. I was worried that they would kill me and take my kidney.”

Two weeks after Rania and Fatima first arrived in Renk, they messaged me from Kampala. “We received some money from family members in Uganda. They paid a smuggler $500 to take us to Kampala.” Raina said. “There were no humanitarian agencies or government officials transporting people. The drivers, the militias, they are exploiting people every step of the journey.”

In Renk, they had watched as large trucks carried hundreds of people further south to transit camps that were rumoured to be less crowded and better resourced. Others boarded cramped and overcrowded boats down the Nile to the city of Malakal, from which they would attempt to reach Juba, 970km to the south. Each stage of the journey would come at a cost.

“We are telling you this for a reason,” Fatima said. “We desperately need more support for people trapped in Sudan. In Darfur, there is genocide. But no one is talking about it. Women are being raped every day. Children have been killed and abducted. People are desperate. This is when you sell your kidney.”

  —  ‘For me, there was no other choice’: inside the global illegal organ trade

[paingoes]

Rubies - Orientation

(Content: living weapon whumpee, recovery, past trauma, past abuse, implied child abuse, implied physical abuse, crying, comfort)

“I want to stay here.”

“You could retire. Haven’t you done enough?”

Delta flinched at that last part. A quick glance up told him Apollo hadn’t meant it that way, but it had still stung in the moment. Not that he could object to it, in either context.

“But you wouldn’t be there,” Delta said softly. “Apollo, I don’t know anyone else. Where am I supposed to go?”

“You’d meet new people. It’s not an island.”

“I want to stay with you.” He placed one hand delicately over Apollo’s wrist and could tell he’d surprised him with the contact. For a second, he thought he’d done something terrible. He’d gotten comfortable enough holding onto Kitty, reaching out for her, but that was her. He shouldn’t have - he flinched -

Apollo sighed gently, rubbing the pad of his thumb in circles on the back of his hand. He had to know what it meant for him, the enormity of what he was suggesting. For Delta to leave. To be alone again.

“It’s your choice,” Apollo relented. “Nobody’s going to force you. Levon’s hoping you’ll stay too. I can tell.”

Delta felt warmer just as soon as he said it.

~

“Yessssssssssss,” Kitty hissed excitedly, practically skipping through the doorway of her room. Theirroom, as she was so eager to point out. “Roomiesssssss!!!!!”

“Just don’t ask her what happened to the last one,” Levon said, holding Delta’s only bag on his hip. It was a light bag. He didn’t need to bring it for him. But they both still insisted that Delta was fragile, that he didn’t need to carry anything.

“She was in love with me.” Kitty said. “It became too much for her.”

“Not how I remember it,” Levon said, placing the bag down on the ground. Delta thanked him quietly, bowing his head, still unsure what to do with himself when the two of them were talking. He tried to go unnoticed.

“You want top bunk?” Kitty asked, foiling his efforts. Her olive green eyes glowed excitedly at the prospect. 

Top bunk. The only memories it called up were of yellowed pages in a brightly lit facility. Children’s books with lives so foreign it might as well have been a different universe. Something soft and playful and totally unavailable to any of them. Summer camp.

“It’s your choice,” Delta murmured, unwilling to commit to any preference, much too scared to overstep. “It’s your room.”

“Our room!” She insisted. Her tail swiped the counter excitedly, knocking most of her things onto the ground.

~

“You can’t tell anyone,” she would say later, down in the caverns, and not to him.

Iza’s crew stared blankly back at her, making Kitty wish that she was here to do it herself.

“I mean it,” she said. “It’s top, top secret. No one can know. And it’s only the three of you, so we’ll know if it gets out.”

Willow was pale and fearful, eyes wide like a doll that had just come to life. “He’s really staying, then?”

“He’s my roommate,” Kitty answered, smiling slyly.

“What’s he going to tell people?” Cass asked. “I mean, he has an accent. Are you going to invent a whole new backstory for him? What’s the plan?”

“Just don’t talk about the psychic thing. If anyone asks, you never met him. OK?” She asked, wondering if she needed to throw in a threat for efficacy.

“Yeah. OK. Whatever.” Cass agreed. “Still think it’s weird that you’re just, like, keeping him around as a pet? Shouldn’t he be in rehab or something?”

“Kitty just wants someone to clean her NEET cave,” Rene said.

Her eyes flickered up. She pushed herself up off the stack of boxes and stalked slowly and deliberately towards him. He tensed — and she only stopped when her face hovered a few inches from his own.

“Take it back,” she said.

“Fucking hell, Kat, I was joking,” he responded, seeming to shrink away, too proud to formally retreat.

“Take it back,” she repeated slower.

“Okay, fine. I take it back. Damn.”

She smiled again, sliding back to her place atop the boxes.

“Not gonna tell, right?” she asked, both ears pressed back in challenge.

~

Delta did end up cleaning, though. He wanted to be useful. He’d gotten in the habit. And the room did need it, truthfully. He hated to touch her stuff without permission. Almost every surface of the room was covered in her trinkets — figurines, dead animals in amber, microcontrollers. He moved them carefully just to clean off the shelves they rested on top of, then immediately replaced them.

He didn’t know if he meant to punish himself doing it, but she had fussed over him when she found him. Secretly, he thought she must have been relieved. It’d been a mess before — and after months without use, it’d only gotten worse. He turned the air filter on for her, obliging her when she told him to shower, to rest.

The top bunk was his, but more often than not he spent the day down on her level. He leaned back against the plaster wall, legs folding underneath him on the soft mattress in a way that still felt deeply unnatural, especially with her next to him. She propped her tablet up on the bed to show him all she was working on. She had been working all throughout the months she was told to do the opposite — and she thought it was important that he know. She’d poached him for IT. He was fine with that. He was so scared he might be useless to them without his powers, scared that without them all he’d be good for was cleaning, drudge jobs, set dressing. He could’ve been a servant if he was trained. But he could’ve been anything if he was trained.

As they came to find out, he knew the basics of most things. He knew a bit of everything, especially about what he was forbidden to know. They blew through the basic courses, but he still wanted firm footing before he had to start. Before he met anyone else.

“You can still rest,” she said, seeing the yawn he failed to suppress, “If we’re going too fast. You don’t have to start right away.”

“I don’t want to freeload,” he said, a bit self-consciously.

“You’ve done enough,” she said, “Galatea would pay your rent for the rest of your life if you asked for it.”

“I wouldn’t ask for that.”

“Yeah, you wouldn’t ask for anything, would you?” She teased. He blushed at that. He wouldn’t.

~

It got harder at night. He didn’t know why. He’d spent enough time in that endless, starry void to have adjusted to it. He thought of the port windows just to help him fall asleep.

But it was at night that the fear crept into him — and some deep dread, its mouth yawning, the size of the planet. He paced the halls fitfully at night, still amazed that he was allowed to walk them, amazed they would let him go unsupervised. Theirs was a cavernous base — and he knew the locks for the outer doors. He could walk out whenever he wanted. There was nowhere for him to go, but that nowhere was free to him. 

He opened the door to stare out into the blackness, the point where the gas lights could not reach, the darkness that started right where the trees began. He did not know what he was looking for. A dread. An emptiness.

He clambered up the ladder to the top bunk. He had the same bedding each room started with, then another weighted blanket, a gift. He crawled beneath it, grateful for the warmth, almost able to melt into it. Kitty was still out. He turned all the lights off and he left the window open. When he slept, he pretended he was in a cavern, deep beneath the ocean.

~

His face was wet when he woke up and the room was still dark. He tried to blink himself awake, but his thoughts remained foggy and unalert, his vision slightly blurred. Green eyes hovered close to him, right beyond the wooden cage of the bed.

“Delta?” she said softly. It was so painful. He had never heard anyone handle his name so carefully. He did not move, peeking up at her dark form through the nest of blankets.

“…You were crying,” she whispered.

He winced in shame, almost burying himself further into the sheets. He couldn’t. Weakly, he extended one wrist to her in offering. He just hoped she would get it over with. That he wouldn’t be in so much pain he couldn’t sleep after.

She took his hand gingerly, interlacing her fingers in between his.

“Can I…” She trailed off. He nodded dimly, not caring what it was. She could do whatever she wanted and he never would have stopped her.

She crawled over him, sliding herself in between him and the wall, then beneath the blanket. His eyes widened slightly as she slipped one arm over him, pulling him in closer to her. It didn’t hurt. She hadn’t hurt him for crying. Right. She never did.

“Okay?” she asked softly.

“Mmhm.” He nodded, his mouth still not forming words.

She pressed her forehead in between his shoulder blades, purring a soft rumble that still filled the entire room.

He wiped at his eyes again as the crying started back up. He tried to be quiet, but she didn’t seem to mind.

~

“Do you ever want to talk about it?” she asked over breakfast. 

“…I did talk about it,” he said. “There was a trial. I don’t know if you remember.”

She shrugged, popping the last of the strawberry stem into her mouth.

“Silas is a prick,” she said. “That’s not what I meant.”

He didn’t respond to that, idly twirling the flower petals in between his fingers, still not touching his food.

“Did they hurt you for crying?” she asked when he did not offer it up.

“I never cried much in the first place.”

He was always so quick to defend them still. He knew better than to do it in court, but in private, it was always his first reaction.

“Because you weren’t allowed?” She looked up just to catch him shrugging again. 

After a while, he explained: “I don’t mind that they did. I thought it was childish. I never…had a problem with it until now.”

He wiped his eyes in an absent reflex, though they were dry now. Across the table, Kitty seemed skeptical.

“Is that what they told you? That it was childish?”

“Yeah. It is.”

Trying not to offend her, though he hadn’t seen her cry yet, he added: “It is if it’s me.”

“How old were you when they said that?” She asked plainly.

He didn’t answer. Internally, he was a bit annoyed by the gotcha in her voice. He guessed it showed in his expression, because she stopped pressing at it. Though she showed no offense, he felt guilty in the intervening silence.

“I don’t know how to talk about it,” he admitted. “I’m sorry. No one’s ever asked. I don’t have any practice.”

“You haven’t eaten,” she noticed. 

Reluctantly, a bit chastened, he began to peel at the fruit’s flesh. The pulp tinted his nails red.

“I’m trying,” he said. 

“I know,” she said back. “I’m patient, you know. I waited months to find you.”

He thought back to them. The months spent on the server, his only window to a kinder world. He thought of her on the other side of it. The image of her before had always been dreamlike and immaterial. He had never imagined her in the flesh. He’d have never thought to one day be sitting across the breakfast table from her, with bright fruit against the china and an endless wilderness at her back.

“God fucking damn it,” he said as he felt his eyes begin to water again. She only laughed at his reaction. It wasn’t unkind.

~~~

tags:

@catnykit @snakebites-and-ink @scoundrelwithboba @whatwhump

@pumpkin-spice-whump @deluxewhump @fuckass1000 @fuckcapitalismasshole @defire

@micechomper @writereleaserepeat @aloafofbreadwithanxiety @floral-comet-whump @littlebookworm69

@lordcatwich @human-123-person @paperprinxe @whomeidontknowthem @chiswhumpcorner

@bacillusinfection @ichortwine @whump-queen @lumpywhump

@jumpywhumpywriter

[jsbluu]

left on seen | chapter 20: plan a

➨ chapter 19: damage control | left on seen masterlist | next

➨ chapter 20 omg we’re reaching the 20’s i feel so emotional.. i can’t believe it oh my gosh i just want them to kiss already

TAGLIST: @yizhrt @bococostree @sunghoonsgfreal @dinonuguaegi @ddolbyong @4chensungs @vixensss @jirsungs @luffysprincess @nosungluv @akunoeyebrows @sinsgaybutthatsokay @joyzluvr @n0hyuck @mrsbyun-baek @queenrachelpink @botchedbrat @livingdoll-hara @minkyuncutie @gomdoleemyson @17ericas @cookydream

when you walk into the lecture hall, you almost immediately spot leehan. he’s sitting in your regular spot, scribbling something random in his notebook like how you usually find him. except this time, he doesn’t look up. no smile, no wave, nothing. it’s like you don’t even exist anymore.

your chest tightens as you hesitate by the door, the words he texted you the day before replaying in your mind, “i need some space for a while.” you had to keep repeating to yourself in your head - this is what he wants, he deserves that.

you shake your thoughts away and find a seat a few rows further down from where he is, it’s better this way and hopefully you won’t have to see him at all.

a few minutes later, jisung walks in. his eyes land on you almost instantly, and you couldn’t tell if he was purposely looking for your face or you just so happened to be the first thing he saw when he walked in. he weaves through the rows and stops when he reaches the seat next to you.

“hey” he says, tilting his head towards the empty seat next to you. “is it okay if i sit here?”

you almost freeze in your seat when he asks, and you bite back your tongue from saying yes. his presence would be comforting, but you know if leehan saw you two he would be so much more hurt than before, and you had to stop thinking about yourself for once.

“i don’t think that’s a good idea..” you mumble, looking away from him.

he blinks, his small smile faltering a bit. “oh, okay” he nods, understanding what you were silently trying to tell him. but that still didn’t stop his heart from beating a little faster.

he finds another empty seat in the row below you, about 2 seats across from you. you turn around to sneak a glance at leehan, but his face gives nothing away. he’s still focused on his notes, like he’s the only person in the room.

before you can emphasize on it, kazuha walks into the room, her presence immediately making you feel uneasy. she paused in the doorway, scanning around for somewhere to sit or somebody to sit with. it doesn’t take long for her to realize the awkward distance between you, jisung, and leehan, especially between you and jisung. her stare lingers for a bit before making a b-line towards him.

“hey” she says smiling, sliding into the seat next to him.

you force yourself to look away, gripping your pen tightly as you stare at your notes. kazuha isn’t doing anything wrong, she’s nice, warm, and easy to be around; everything you’re not right now.

as the lecture continues, you try your best to move your focus away from them, but you can’t help but stare at the two as she laughs and leans into him. he isn’t even that funny you thought. you tell yourself it’s fine, you have absolutely no reason to be upset. but the jealousy creeps in anyway, and for some reason you can’t seem to shake it.

the weight of everything feels unbearable against your chest, it feels like you could scream. the second your professor dismissed your class, you’re out of your seat, shoving your notebook and laptop into your bag and bolting out the door. someone calls your name, jisung maybe? or leehan? but that doesn’t stop you, nobody could.

back at your dorm, you drop everything on the floor, staring at the ceiling as everything crashes over you. you replay the entire morning in your head, the tension between you and leehan and the awkward, short lived conversation you had with jisung that ended with you basically shutting him down.

no matter how many things you tried to distract yourself with, you couldn’t stop thinking about how you were gonna apologize to leehan. he deserves something more than just a text or ignoring the situation in all until it was blown over.

you pulled out your notebook and tapped the pen on the page, trying to sort out your emotions. the words feel messy and inadequate, but it was a start. you think of all the ways leehan had been there for you, since the moment you met him that first day of class when he introduced himself. or when he had invited you to mark’s show and made sure you were happy and having fun, even if it was at the expense of his.

you had taken all that for granted, and now, sitting alone in your dorm, the weight of that realization presses down on you. you’ll have to figure this out. you have to. because you can’t let this silence stretch any longer, you can’t lose him.

© jsbluu | please do not copy, reupload, or translate my work.