#I don’t know who these people in the audience are

[capn-merca]

Chappel Roan also refused to encourage her audience to vote against making being trans illegal, and then went on SNL with a TERF. Her actions speak A LOT louder than her empty words; she’s just another cis “ally” who prides themselves on vocally supporting “those trans freaks” while being all to happy to sit back and let somebody else get rid of us. What a fucking coward. People like her don’t care about us anymore than we are a political argument to be won. Just once I’d like to be treated like a damn human being, but no, Chappel Roan is using me to gain clout with the queers, without ever actually having to stand up for us in a way that really matters, while actively throwing us under the bus. I really need her to shut up about trans people man, she was talking about how Trumps plans for us was no big deal! How the fuck is that in any way an ally? And again, she went on SNL with a well known TERF. She gotta shut up about trans people before I loose my entire fucking mind my god she makes me so fucking furious.

I should add that the main kick off for this rant was putting Gaga and Roan on the same level. Gaga is and will always be the goat. Also, sorry to be negative on what’s trying to be a positive post, seeing Chappell Roan beside Gaga just kinda set me off.

At least two major artists (Lady Gaga and Chappell Roan) making a point to vocally support trans people the Grammys is a big deal in this political climate.

[cuntyji]

the first video nanami ever posted was filmed on a shaky phone propped up against a bag of flour.

he was making bread—simple, easy, the kind of thing he found comfort in after long days at work. his hands moved methodically, kneading the dough with a quiet precision, and though he spoke very little, the video was oddly calming.

he hadn't expected much from it. maybe a few views, maybe a couple of people who’d appreciate the lack of unnecessary chatter. but the comments were overwhelmingly positive, people asking about his technique, his recipe, his voice—deep, smooth, effortlessly steady. so he made another video. then another.

it was the late-night upload of him singing "baby one more time" by the marías that changed everything.

filmed on an old macbook with a grainy webcam, the lighting barely enough to make out his face, the video had been an impulse decision—one he almost deleted. it was just him, sitting on his couch, his voice low and hushed, the way he usually sang to lull yuuji to sleep. but the internet clung to it like ivy, twisting and reaching until the video had over a million views by the end of the week.

"who is he." "why is this the most intimate thing i've ever heard in my life." "he looks exhausted and sounds like a dream, i'm in love."

he thought it would pass. but it didn't.

his subscribers doubled overnight. the demand for more was loud, insistent. nanami, being nanami, didn’t rush to meet it. instead, he structured it into his routine: one video a week, a mix of baking and singing—because baking was reliable, and singing had never been something he shared outside of yuuji’s bedtime.

his channel evolved. the baking videos became polished, edited with subtle precision. he switched to voiceovers, explaining each step in that same low, deliberate tone that made people feel like he was speaking just to them. and when he sang, it was always songs that carried a quiet sort of nostalgia.

"he only sings songs he sings to his kid to sleep i’m crying." "his lullabies are better than half the music industry." "i don’t know his name, his age, or his face properly, but i know his banana bread recipe by heart."

nanami never explicitly talked about being a single dad, but it was impossible to miss. yuuji’s voice sometimes made cameos in the background, muffled questions about homework, laughter when nanami burnt the edges of a cake. he didn’t hide it, didn’t play it up. it was just a part of his life, and his audience adored him for it.

his faq video—one of the few times he ever directly addressed personal questions—answered almost nothing.

"are you married?" "no." "how old are you?" "old enough." "what's your name?" "nanami."

the mystery only made people more obsessed.

"i know nothing about him but i’d die for him." "his hands. his voice. his existence." "the fact that he bakes and sings for his kid and still won’t tell us his age is crazy."

he now posted twice a week. one video was always baking, the other was whatever he wanted—sometimes music, sometimes a quiet q&a, sometimes just a video of him making tea while rain hit the windows.

people knew everything and nothing about him at the same time. they knew the exact ratio of brown sugar he preferred in cookies but not what city he lived in. they knew he tucked yuuji in every night with a song but had never seen his full face in a single frame. they knew the precise cadence of his voice when he said “and that’s how you make the perfect loaf” but had never heard him say “i love you”—and yet, somehow, they felt like they had.

the internet had fallen in love with him. and nanami, quietly, without even trying, had changed his life with nothing but flour-dusted hands and the sound of his own voice.

[justcameheretobyler]

I think you shouldn’t forget how romantic couples are built in this show, and how, in each season, the feelings of one partner are shown to the audience.

Nancy liked Steve in Season 1. She was paired with Jonathan, who was shown to be in love with her, but by the end of the season, she was back to being "happy" with Steve after having a small moment with Jonathan when she gave him the camera. And bam! One season later, they became canon. (Season 2)

In Season 2, both Lucas and Dustin were interested in Max, but Gaten said the writers didn’t want to ruin Lucas and Dustin’s friendship. So, they wrapped that up within the same season and gave Dustin an amazing partner in Season 3. (So, their build-up was different for a specific reason.)

In Season 3, we saw Hopper having romantic feelings for Joyce and being very straightforward about them (which is pretty different from the Byers brothers, but well, it’s Hopper). Meanwhile, Joyce was still mourning Bob, so she ignored Hopper and wasn’t clear about her feelings. Then, after a brief moment where it seemed like they could be something, Hopper "dies," leaving their future uncertain.

Oh, wait, we know now! They became canon in Season 4!

Sooo, what do we have in Season 4? Oh yeah, Will showing his love for Mike. And what about Mike? Oh yeah, we "don’t know" how he feels, and he’s so in love with his current girlfriend. Meanwhile, Will sacrifices his own feelings for Mike’s happiness. They had that same brief moment at the end of the season, making us wonder what’s going to happen next. We “don’t know” what’s coming.

What do you think is going to happen in Season 5? Following the pattern of previous seasons, in every season, one character is shown to be in love with another main character, and then in the next season -bam!- it turns out to be mutual! I mean, it’s obvious where this is going.

And do you know what the funniest part is?

The order.

Jonathan and Nancy, the siblings of the people involved.

Hopper and Joyce, the parents of the people involved.

Mike and Will, the people involved.

This post is just for Bylers who have Byler doubts.

IT’S OBVIOUS.

[accio-victuuri]

i already posted about hui-ge before but the lore behind this person and the fansite is coming up again. more recently, because something xz said in the wuhan loch roadshow is very close to the words they used for an edited photo of wyb. this site has been long closed and inactive and i guess it was for the better considering fans were being too all up in their business. and if it’s true that they are somehow an insider, then it’s best to stop at some point.

i found this post of some more explanations on why hui-ge is known in the fandom & why we think he is in the inner circle. 🫶🏼

1. The website was launched before the 2019 Thailand concert and declared that it was not profitable. Not authorized, a non-profit site. which is kinda weird for a fansite, cause they also don’t sell photobooks or other merch. which may be this person’s own decision — but some see this as a possible hint at why they are doing it. it was a secret way to share things to fans. and knowing how this fandom works, especially with lrlg and other fakes, it’s not far fetched. plus the boys are known to have side accounts.

2. The night before the Thailand meeting, all the fans who went to Thailand were waiting for two people at the airport, he was the only one who posted on Weibo that night saying "No need to wait until tomorrow, "See you", and they really arrived the next morning. 👀

3. The later activities are basically shot from the inside, and there are no pictures from similar perspectives on other fan sites — or even official ones.

P1: 2019 Nanjing Meetup Audience entrance front desk view.

P2: 2019 XZ Milan Fashion Week Inside View

P3: 2019 Starlight Awards front view from the audience. The back view is opposite to the audience view that night.

P4: 2019 New Year's Eve Rehearsal Perspective

P5: 2020 The Untamed 1st Anniversary, this video is basically from the crew. Shooting angle of view. Aerial photography by drone. Close-up of crew props.

P6: Weibo Night 2021 Backstage Perspective: Double Award Preview

P7: 2021 ADLAD Backstage View

So basically, these photos can only be taken by someone who is very close. Especially the backstage ones.

4. Multiple advance notices, including but not limited to event previews notice, the owner’s itinerary, and the owner’s Weibo.

P1: the first one who clearly announced that they will be at the Double 11 night show in 2019.

P2: 2020 Preview that XZ will not participate in any platform double Eleventh Party

P3: 2020 New Year's Eve Preview

this is the more interesting one tho that made cpfs really believe his credibility. First snow in Beijing in 2019 they posted p1 and 10 minutes after this Weibo post, XZ also posted a Weibo post about the first snow. on that day, WYB inexplicably posted a message of "Happy New Year" and deleted it immediately.

BONUS: i also remember him saying in a message to fans that the “clinic is open” days before OOL was announced. there was also a possible clue regarding the cat and shiba inu cake when he celebrated his bday on set of OOL that year.

5. After Weibo started to display IP addresses, only three Weibo posts were posted, and all the IP addresses are in Beijing, and then he retired.

The coincidences also don’t stop here, fans are also seeing some similarity in his captions with the boys’ recent music. especially XZ’s.

we will never know the identity of who this person is but we gotta admit that all the coincidences are too much. how many times does it have to happen for it to be real?

oh hui-ge, you are definitely missed! 🙏🏼

-END.

[akanemnon]

Yeah…that anon mistaking you for Toby Fox was probably a joke but the fact that more and more people start to treat you like a second Toby Fox, seems both hilarious and terrifying depending on what kinda person you are...at least people aren’t making memes/theories off of EVERYTHING you post (just out of anything relevant to TwinRunes, at least from my perspective…) /silly /pos

On a serious note, how are you holding up and how do you deal with such a large audience as someone who doesn’t like being the center of attention? I know it’s been asked multiple times, and forgive me if even I asked something similar before, but since online fame is almost entirely luck based, therefore I don’t know when or if I’ll ever gather a large audience myself (though I’m not exactly looking for one), I constantly wonder, how do you do it?

Y'see... I actually am not sure if that was a joke or not. Not that I'm comparing myself to Toby here because that's impossible. But... typically, comments like these have a "hehe I'm joking" undertone. And that was COMPLETELY absent. Or maybe I'm just bad at interpreting the tone and intent of it. Wouldn't be the first time.

But yes, I DON'T LIKE that more and more people are treating me like a second Toby. While they're not doing the memes and theories to the degree that Toby is experiencing, it feels like a bargain bin version of that.

I don't like being the center of attention. It freaks me out. I am a regular person, and I'd like to be treated as such. But I know as soon as you become a public figure in the fandom, this gets thrown out of the window. I know some people are intimidated by me, while SOME asks overstep their boundaries. It's a weird mix. You DON'T wanna know half the things that land in my inbox.

But I have to deal with it to the best of my abilities. Even if it's difficult at times. The positive experiences far outweigh the negative, and I'm still thankful you guys like my work this much.

[gottencents]

Me After You - Jennie Kim

pairing. idol!jennie x singer!reader

synopsis. after an exhilarating concert, Y/N and Jennie share an intimate moment backstage.

The roar of the crowd had barely begun to fade as Y/N walked off stage, her heart still racing from the exhilarating performance. The spotlight had been blinding, the energy of the audience almost overwhelming, but now that she was backstage, there was a strange sense of emptiness creeping in. The adrenaline was wearing off, and the fatigue from the long tour hit her all at once.

She leaned against the dressing room door, taking deep breaths, trying to shake off the buzz of the show. The tour had been an emotional rollercoaster, each concert pushing her limits, but tonight had felt special. Maybe it was because of the people she shared it with—or maybe because of Jennie.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a soft voice that made her smile before she even turned around.

“Y/N,” Jennie’s voice came from behind her, low and playful. Y/N could hear the faint trace of breathlessness in Jennie’s tone, and for some reason, it made her pulse spike in her chest. Jennie always had that effect on her, no matter how many times they were close.

Y/N turned around to face her, her heart skipping at the sight of Jennie, slightly winded but glowing. She had just finished her own performance earlier that evening—everything about her was radiant. Jennie was one of those people who made everything seem effortless, even though Y/N knew better. She had witnessed firsthand the amount of work Jennie put into each performance, the sacrifices, and the discipline.

“Hey,” Y/N greeted her, her lips curving into a smile she couldn’t suppress. She was glad to see Jennie here. They hadn’t had much time to talk before or after the show, and Y/N found herself missing her presence more than usual.

Jennie stepped forward, her eyes scanning Y/N’s face as if trying to gauge her mood. There was an intimacy between them now, something unspoken that had built up over the past few months. Y/N wasn’t sure what to make of it yet—her feelings were still too new, still too raw—but there was a pull to Jennie, a magnetic force she couldn’t resist.

“You were amazing tonight,” Jennie said, her voice a soothing melody. “The crowd was wild. They loved every minute of it.”

Y/N chuckled, shaking her head. “I don’t know about that. I’m just trying not to pass out on stage,” she joked, rubbing a hand over her forehead.

Jennie laughed softly, moving even closer to Y/N. She tilted her head, the dim light backstage catching the soft gleam in her eyes. “You’re too humble. You know that’s not true.” She paused, her gaze drifting from Y/N’s face to the floor, then back up again. “I couldn’t take my eyes off you.”

Y/N felt a warmth spread through her chest, and the weight of the exhaustion seemed to momentarily lift. She swallowed, unsure of how to respond. There was something in Jennie’s voice that made her heart race—something tender, something real. It caught her off guard, and she wasn’t sure she was ready to fully face it yet.

Jennie took another step forward, the air between them thick with an unspoken tension. She reached out, fingers brushing against the hem of Y/N’s sleeve, a soft touch that sent a shiver down Y/N’s spine. “I meant it,” Jennie whispered. “I couldn’t take my eyes off you tonight. It was like watching someone who has finally found themselves on stage.”

Y/N’s breath caught in her throat. Was that what Jennie saw when she looked at her? Y/N had spent so much of her life drowning in self-doubt, self-destruction, constantly questioning if she deserved anything good. But with Jennie, for some reason, she felt like maybe she did.

Before Y/N could say anything, Jennie closed the remaining distance between them. The kiss was soft at first, tentative, as if both of them were still figuring out what they wanted, what this meant. But it quickly deepened, the heat between them growing more palpable with every movement. Y/N’s hands found Jennie’s waist, pulling her in closer, as if trying to anchor herself to the moment, to this feeling she hadn’t allowed herself to embrace fully before.

Jennie responded immediately, her lips soft yet insistent as she parted Y/N’s lips with her own. The kiss was slow, explorative—tender but full of yearning. Jennie’s hand slid up Y/N’s back, gently cupping the back of her neck, and Y/N tilted her head, allowing Jennie better access. She could taste the faintest hint of the perfume Jennie wore, a sweet floral scent that made her feel like she was drowning in it.

Y/N’s mind raced. She couldn’t stop herself from thinking that this felt so right, so comfortable, even though they were still on the edge of figuring everything out. Jennie had been a constant in her life lately, and despite how unexpected this all was, Y/N couldn’t deny the pull she felt every time they were together.

Jennie’s hands slowly slid to the back of Y/N’s head, gently pulling her closer, deepening the kiss. The world around them seemed to blur into the background. All that mattered was Jennie’s soft breath against her lips, the way she melted into Y/N’s touch, and the magnetic force that kept drawing them together.

When they finally broke away for air, both of them were breathless, their chests rising and falling in sync. Jennie rested her forehead against Y/N’s, her fingers lightly trailing down the curve of her jaw.

“Y/N,” Jennie murmured, her voice a little shaky but soft. “I’ve wanted this for a long time.”

Y/N’s heart pounded in her chest, a mixture of emotions flooding her. She wasn’t sure what this was, where it would go, but she knew she couldn’t walk away from it. Not anymore. There was something about Jennie that made everything feel like it was falling into place, something about the way Jennie looked at her that made her believe maybe she could finally stop running.

“I know,” Y/N replied quietly, her voice just as soft. “I think… I think I’ve wanted it too.”

Jennie smiled, her eyes shining with something so pure, so raw, that it made Y/N’s heart ache in the best way. “Good,” Jennie whispered. “Because I’m not going anywhere, Y/N.”

Y/N closed her eyes, leaning into Jennie’s touch, allowing herself to relax in her arms. For the first time in a long time, she felt like she could be herself—unapologetically, completely. And she realized, with startling clarity, that Jennie was everything she needed, even if she hadn’t known it until now.

“Good,” Y/N whispered back, pulling Jennie in for one more kiss. This time, there was no hesitation, no uncertainty. Just the certainty that maybe—just maybe—this was the start of something beautiful.

And it was theirs.

[utilitycaster]

I read your posts regarding c3 and what could be done differently, and I’ve always thought the way they handled Bertrand Bell was weird. He’s only in three episodes, then dies — c3 was my first campaign, and I had no idea who he was before, nor sure why I should care . Emotionally he didn’t leave an impact on the other characters (although I love Fearne’s jazz monologue) or the audience who has seen him one time before. They use his name for their party name but then don’t bother to see his grave, or remember him at all.

His death also means that we are tied to the moon plot very early on with an emotional weight so it feels like the group have to follow that story thread early on, setting up the mystery too early which then becomes exhausting to the audience. I wonder if c3 would have been better off if they didn’t bother with him, or if Matt and Travis agreed to really wait a while before killing Bertrand off, when they actually want to escalate the plot (would have had accusations of ‘scripting’ but who cares if it’s better narratively.) I think if he died around when Molly died then it would have been stronger (maybe too close a copy of c2, but at least that worked?)

I think a planned player character death can still be shocking and dramatic to the other players who weren’t expecting it, but how c3 executed it feels like a nothing burger and a waste of time. I don’t really know what would have changed if we just had Chetney at the start.

I'm going to be totally honest: I disagree strongly and I think you are assigning blame to a completely wrong place. That doesn't mean that you can't feel this moment failed to land (though I think that too is a criticism more of the overall campaign) but the concept of having a character show up, be quickly killed, and be replaced by the actual character isn't a particularly new one, doesn't require you to have a pre-existing attachment to the initial character for it to be a fun concept. It also, in my opinion, did serve a good purpose and frankly Bertrand had, in his three episodes, a stronger and clearer arc than several party members who have had over a hundred episodes.

I may put this specific piece in a separate post because I believe it's a requirement for understanding the failings of Campaign 3 but: A lot of discussion positions Campaign 3 as the story of Bells Hells, who were ill served by the Moon Plot. This is, in my opinion, incorrect. Campaign 3 is the Moon Plot Campaign, in which Bells Hells are ill-suited characters pushed through said plot because they happened to be played by the cast members. And to that end, I think that actually, introducing the moon plot immediately was a good idea. The problem was that the execution of that mystery was very poorly done. Bertrand led the party to Eshteross, and was then not long thereafter killed by a group of people working to destabilize the Chandei Quorum on behalf of Armand Treshi, so that he could bring in the Paragon's Call as a means of reinstating order in Jrusar. This presumably would also help them because then they wouldn't have to use Jiana as a middlewoman for the shipments they were receiving via her in Jrusar, and would generally increase their power. Bells Hells found out this was happening and thwarted it, but Treshi escaped.

This is when the plot began to become a mess, and while there were plenty of further opportunities to right it, I think basing the entirety of the early campaign in Jrusar and Bassuras, and severely paring down what was done in Bassuras [probably a whole other post but I'd have had Treshi remain captured in Jrusar but give up the information, making Bassuras entirely a data gathering mission, thus freeing up a lot of time in Bassuras for personal errands and bonding time] would have fixed a lot of the issues.

Again, that doesn't mean the concept worked for you, but this isn't even rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic - it's complaining about the meal that was served on the titanic 4 days prior to them hitting the iceberg.

[2009editingtips]

This is me begging you to wax poetic about Phil's hair

Phil's hair journey is something that can actually be so personal to me specifically.

So, we start with shaggy black emo hair Phil, where he's at university and basically out in the ways that matter to him (slutting it up on main, an icon). And he's got this plan for his life, right? He's going to school; he's got a semblance of an idea for the future. But he's a baby adult at best. And then he starts doing this YouTube thing. He puts all his weird/creative/extraness that had been looked down on for years out for the world to see. And people like it. They like him. They like him so much they give him a platform and job offers and new dreams to realize.

And that's actually terrifying because he has so much to lose now.

Going from the mostly carefree feeling of being himself, accepting himself, despite the culture, to feeling like the caveat to all his dreams coming true is that he has to take that joy, that self-love that took SO LONG to find, and keep it hidden. Not only that, he has to lie to everyone. All the time.

So then there's short black fringe Phil, who's in the closet, mentions his attraction to girls where he can, trying to cover his internet tracks. But people are persistent; boundaries aren't something he knows how to set yet. His past is thrown in his face every other moment, so he doubles down. Sticks with his branding of the non-cursing, family-friendly, boy-next-door type. It isn't untrue so much as it's put on. He loses some of his spark in those years. Not enough rest and looking over his shoulder at every moment will do that to someone.

Then II Phil with the black quiff...

I have the most thoughts about this era, so forgive me for yapping.

II, which was meant to be the end of "Dan and Phil," not that the audience knew. But Phil did. And he changed his hair. Let his past branding slip just a bit, preparing the audience in a way.

And he's talked in the past about how he was scared to change his hair because he genuinely thought people would leave. Because up until then, the audience he'd curated, however extensive in number, was still this intangible, fickle beast he'd not learned to tame.

But that deep-rooted fear persisted. The fear that the love of your audience is so fickle that they would leave because you changed your hair... but it wasn't about the hair, not really. It was the fear that they don’t actually like you or your content and they only like that you represented their childhood or their awkward teen years. So, if you grow up and change, then they have to. And they don’t want to hear that.

So, you put off being yourself (in more ways than one) for the comfort of others. Because if you truly aren’t liked, you can at least pretend for a bit longer. You can keep your hair the same.

And then he comes out, and it's all out in the open.

And then Phil is publicly alone for a bit. After a decade he's just... amazingphil again. "Babysitting the kids until Dan comes back," undermining his content like it wasn't instrumental in getting countless people through the pandemic.

Like his joy, however put upon it may have been, wasn't infectious.

Then we hit 2023 with the messy brown fringe, and it's almost right. It's nearly there. Phil has cultivated his audience, weeded out the bad seeds, and knows more now. But he's still... hesitant. Soft around the edges.

And then dapg is back, and it's... it's silly and light, and it feels like 2009 again but easier, more honest.

Stealing this quote from @silaswhatever here: "and now he's blond messy fringe Phil, and this feels like an almost final evolution of Phil - a reclamation of a mistake he made in his teens, a change to commemorate both 15 years of being a dork on the internet with his soulmate and to highlight the beginning of a "new era" for them. And now he gets to be the person beyond the mask of "AmazingPhil", he gets to be Phil Lester, a messy, slightly mean, but very funny guy who loves the person he's been with for fifteen years and we all love him for it."

Anyway, I am normal about him.

[sleepanonymous]

I just want to put in my two cents on the whole band identity thing since stuff is going around atm: As far as I am aware, please feel free to correct me if I am wrong, Vessel and the rest of the band have never explicitly stated that the masks are supposed to hide their identities for safety purposes.

Vessel said in that Metal Hammer interview that music is pushed based on who or who isn’t in a band, and that their identities are unimportant. To me, this says that their masks are a form of commentary against the popularity contest/politics within the modern music industry.

Not doxxing/harassing/doing other harmful behaviors to the band members should be the bare minimum and common sense, but of course, people have shown us and the band otherwise and I understand that has made some within the fandom become even more protective/vigilant with information related to the identities in the band.

That being said, I personally don’t see any issue with knowing who they are if you want to know and it shouldn’t be looked down on within the fandom. I think there can be a respectful divide between those who know and those who don’t want to. I found out by accident, but knowing what I know has given me a much deeper appreciation for Sleep Token in all of its iterations in a way I don’t think I would have gotten to otherwise.

I think some fans feel as though they’re betraying the band by knowing their identities and I disagree with that level of stigma. I can’t imagine any of the guys being offended about their fans looking into past projects/bands they’ve been involved in, and having huge support from all of us if one or more members decided to do a solo feature for another band would be incredible!

In my opinion, I think we need to reframe how their identities are handled within the fandom at large: they’re not in witness protection, they just prefer for their audience to put the majority of their focus on the music instead of the people playing it. It’s obvious that Vessel takes great pride in his craft and, based on the MH interview, it seems like his main goal here is to have his music speak for itself instead of becoming another soulless corporate shill. Just something for all of us to consider and I’d love to know your thoughts as well.

Worship.

So sorry it took a few days to respond to this ask. I wanna be a little less subjective to give you a platform, Anon, but you are correct in the fact that Vessel and the band never said their anonymity was explicitly for safety (although there’s a valid argument that that is a given assumption, as you also stated).

If needed for context, the quote from the Amped Up Kerrang Article (idk if you meant this article, Anon, or if Ves said something in one of the Metal Hammer ones and I forgot; lmk in another ask or dm and i’ll add to this post):

“Art has become entangled with identity,” Him says of the band’s anonymity. “The aim is to provide something people can engage with without being obstructed by the identity of its creator. The true identities behind Sleep Token are irrelevant. Our identity is represented through the art and music itself.”

I do believe their anonymity is both a device for creating more powerful music as well as a clever way to market the band. Humans are naturally curious and we are drawn to mysteries. Its interesting to see how it has morphed into this beast of those who know and those who do not (and those who do know, pretend they do not, and then ostracize those who do know while also creeping in online spaces they should definitely not know about if not knowing identities mattered that much to them). The band’s anonymity has created a fanbase full of toxic interactions that I’m certain they never intended to cause.

I don’t fault any fan for their views, or if they choose to seek out identities or not. I only have a problem with it when views are forced onto others maliciously.

[coco-loco-nut]

Eternal Sunshine

pairing: pato o’ward x reader

summary: ok, maybe you have a type. at least this time he might treat you right

masterlist requests open

——————————————

They say that in the darkest skies you see the brightest stars, that suffering is essential to growth, that it’s better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. You never believed it to be true until you met your boyfriend. He kind and funny and ridiculously handsome, and he arrived at one of your lowest points.

——

You shouldn’t be here, your mind screams at you to turn around and leave, but it’s the same one that wanted you to be here in the first place.

The track used to feel like home, for five years you got to watch your boyfriend drive and enjoy the secrecy of your relationship. You both put in a lot of effort into keeping the spark alive, even if it meant shuffling some things around. That was until he decided he to cheat on you. It was easy for him, you weren’t public so it was easy to lie that he wasn’t in a relationship. Turns out he’s been cheating for over a year.

But this isn’t Formula One, this is IndyCar. You chose this to get your fix and move on. It would be satisfying to see someone crash into Oscar, maybe he can feel the pain you felt.

“Are you lost?” a deep voice comes from beside you and you look at the man speaking to you.

“A little,” you smile nervously, you haven’t been recognized yet. Maybe you should’ve chosen a race that wasn’t right outside of L.A.

“Luckily for you, I’m an expert,” you don’t know why he seems familiar. You notice his McLaren shirt, similar to your own - except yours was a fuck you to Oscar. You stole some of his official gear when you packed your bag and left.

“Are you a McLaren fan?” you ask, trying to place why he seems familiar.

“I guess you could say that? Are you?” the man asks, and you can’t help to notice some resemblance to Oscar, but he is far more handsome.

“I, um, same. I’m new to Indy, but I’ve loosely followed the F1 team for around five years,” you choose your words carefully. Pato looks at you closer, knowing he’s seen you somewhere before. Your pass says that you have VIP access, so he doesn’t question it as you walk with him.

“I’m Pato,” your brows furrow slightly as you give him your middle name as a cover. Where have you heard that name before. Your eyes catch sight of a video screen and they widen in horror.

“This is embarrassing, you’re a driver,” you are at a bit of a loss for words, mortified at your carelessness. He has got to be so mad, you straight up lied to his face.

“And your name is actually Y/n. I’m surprised to see someone of your talents here. Especially without security,” Pato’s unoffended smile disarms you, making you mentally sigh a breath of relief.

“Sorry for all the secrecy, it used to be the only way I can attend races,. I guess my disguise didn’t work then,” your smile is bittersweet, it’s almost freeing to be at a race without worrying if your relationship is going to be put on blast.

“I understand. I’m actually a big fan myself, so I recognized your voice. I introduced Lando to your music last year,” Pato says but you know the last part isn’t actually true. He may think he introduced your music to Lando, but Lando couldn’t reveal he knew you and your music well. He was one of the very few people who knew about you and Oscar.

“That’s so cool,” even if it’s wrong, maybe even vain, you love hearing things like that. “Did you get to go to the tour last year r hen?” you follow, curious how much he truly listens to your music.

“No, I wasn’t able to make it between races and other duties. I wanted to though,” he replies, scratching his neck while contemplating if he should ask a question or not. He has you as a captive audience though, so it doesn’t hurt to.

“That’s a shame,” you realize that you’ve started walking with Pato, but no one’s stopped you yet.

“Will you be releasing new music soon?” he sees a flash of hurt in your eyes and immediately regrets asking.

“I’ve both lost and gained inspiration, so there may be something in the works sooner than expected,” Pato immediately understands your words. It was widely known that you were in a long-term relationship, but no one knew who you were dating. It seems like you are no longer in one now. You really will have to hide when that bit of news breaks.

“I’m sorry,”

“It’s okay, it’s actually good, in a way. I’m starting to get over what happened,” the last part feels like a lie, but you don’t feel as heavy as before.

“I’m sorry, you are probably busy and I’m yapping on and on. I should probably get ready for practice anyway,” Pato realizes, flushing slightly with embarrassment.

“It’s okay,” you smile and something inside you tugs at your heart at the thought of him walking away and never talking to him again. “Would you like to get drinks or something after the race on Sunday?” you ask quickly, voice slightly shaking with nerves. You watch his eyes light up before he reels himself in to act cool.

“Yeah. I’d give you my number, but I know that you will run into me soon,. Enjoy all the racing” he grins, disappearing into the crowds. You continue to walk around, finding a spot to watch the end of the IMSA practice.

You slip back into your brooding as the sounds of engines put you on edge. It used to be a sound that was a comfort.

You want to kick yourself, how could you let a man - no, a boy - play you like that. And now here you are, wide-eyed and talking to another driver. Stupid. Not only does he drive for Arrow McLaren, but he’s the reserve driver for the F1 team.

All you can think about is how Oscar and Lando would react, how Pato would react if you started something and he found out about Oscar. The words they could use to hurt you. Whore. You would be moving on quickly, but then again, so did Oscar. He moved on while you were still together. Manipulator. Even if you don’t intend on it, it would be very easy to assume that you are using Pato for revenge, as a low blow. So many more.

“Fuck,” you whisper. You have a lot to think about before the end of the weekend.

Pato was right, you run into him (literally run into him) on Sunday. You just finished and early lunch and got on a call with your agent to discuss an opportunity.

“Sorry, I gotta go,” you apologize, hanging up the call.

“When I said you will run into me, I didn’t mean literally,” the smile on his face tells you he isn’t actually mad. In fact, he seems delighted. Yet the uneasy feeling of nerves bubbles in your stomach, you can’t hurt him. You know what you have to do, you have to tell him the truth. Lay it all out and let him make an informed decision, even if it hurts you to talk about.

“Sorry, I was distracted, and I guess I still am. My agent was trying to convince to, um, you know that doesn’t really matter,” you shift your focus to the present moment.

“I’m glad I ran into you, I was going to offer a garage tour,” Pato brushes you odd behavior off and your eyes light up. The look sends a thrill down his spine and butterflies in his chest. He feels like a teenage boy talking to his crush.

“Really? I’ve never been, not even when I-,” you catch your words, quickly clearing your throat, “not even when I attended an F1 race a few years ago,” the excitement from your voice is gone. Pato can tell there is a story there, but he takes your initial reaction and runs with it. Oscar never brought you to the garage. Even Lando offered, but you both said it was too risky. Oscar never even introduced you to the team, other than Lando.

“Follow me!” he leads you through the Arrow McLaren area, and you end up back at his motorhome. Pato did make sure to take pictures during it, especially with you and his car. You don’t think twice when you follow him in and sit down.

“I kinda like this a lot more than F1, it seems more humble in a way. It’s a spectacle like all racing is, but F1 is so flashy and honestly some people wouldn’t realize if there wasn’t a race. As long as all the other entertainment is there,” you unintentionally start on a tangent. Pato realizes he can learn a lot about you by reading between the lines.

“You sound like you have a bit of experience,”

“They, uh, COTA wants me to perform at F1 grand prix. They claim I will be the biggest attraction,” you huff, you really weren’t supposed to say anything, but if anyone would understand it would be Pato. Plus, he’s in the industry and you deep down you know you can trust him.

“They aren’t wrong. I know at least Lando would rather watch you than drive,” Pato smiles cheekily, dissolving your frustration.

“He’s had a private concert before, I’m sure he’ll live if I turn it down,” you abruptly stop laughing when you realize what you revealed. Pato’s brows furrow as he processes your words, maybe you misspoke. Here goes nothing, you have to come clean now.

“Lando and I were kinda friends, we met through my ex,” you reveal some of your truth. Careful to keep some of the cards in your hand hidden. The ones too painful to share.

“Oh, that’s cool! How did your ex know Lando?” Pato asks, almost wondering how you didn’t know who he was when you met. You quickly weigh the pros and cons. If you are going to get drinks with him after the race, he deserves to at least know and make his decision from there.

“My ex is Oscar Piastri,” your voice is quiet at you look at your hands, picking at a nail. Pato observes you as his stomach drops.

“Oh, how, uh, how did you meet?” he tentatively asks, trying to get an answer but not shut you down.

“I grew up as a huge racing fan and I thought he was cute, so I messaged him and that was that. You know my music,” you watch him smile to himself and then meet your eyes.

“Well, I’m glad I’m your type then, unless it’s just Australian racers,” Pato teases and your lips quirk up, relieved that he isn’t mad.

“No, apparently just men who drive for McLaren,” you chuckle. “He um, he cheated on me, and that isn’t part of my type. Hopefully that’s a part of the Australian thing,” your voice is quieter, but not dejected. That’s as much as you are willing to give for now, somethings are still too painful.

“I think he’s stupid to do that. And to not show you off. Plenty of guys would kill to meet you, to be on your arm and the one you come home to. I know I would,” Pato reassures you as he reaches out and squeezes your hand.

“It isn’t weird?” you ask. He just shrugs, looking at you in a way that makes you like a million butterflies are in your stomach.

“It’s not like you came here searching for me. Based off of your story, I doubt you came here looking for a relationship either. Besides, I initiated our first conversation, and you just came here for… why did you come here?”

“I missed racing, and this is really close to LA,” you say honestly. “I really didn’t know who you were, by the way. I wasn’t allowed to be around the F1 team, and everything I new about the team was from Oscar, so I never really thought to ask who the reserve driver was,” you add on.

“I believe you. For the record, I think you should perform at the race. It might be therapeutic not having to hide your presence there,” Pato offers his opinion. Silently adding that it might be nice to show Oscar you don’t have to hide.

“You have a great point,” your smile sends a thrill down his spine.

“Pato!” a girl barges into the motorhome, drawing both of your attentions. “Oh my god, you’re,” she stares at you with wide eyes.

“Hi,” you stand up to greet her.

“Y/n, this is my sister, Elba,” Pato says as she tells him something in Spanish that sounds borderline angry.

“In that case, maybe we should watch the race together?” you want to get off on the right foot, especially if you want to pursue something with him.

“Really?” her eyes light up as she shoots Pato a look again. “Pato, why are you trapping her?” she asks her brother and you fight a laugh.

“I’m not-“

“I ran into him today, literally ran into him, and he offered to show me around,” you offer an explanation.

“I promise I’m much cooler than him,” she tells you. You admire their sibling dynamic, there’s clearly a deep bond for them to interact as they do.

“Why are you even here?” Pato puts an end to things before his sister steals you away.

“Making sure you are ready, you have ten minutes,” she says, walking over to you and linking your arms. Too late, Pato, you are being stolen.

“Oh shit,”

“That’s what I thought,” she hums, walking the two of you out so he can change.

“Drinks on me,” you tell her, knowing you will get along well. And you do, three drinks later you are telling her all about Oscar and even playing a sample of a new song. She happily takes in all the industry insights and background of your music. You answer most of her questions, even one’s like who your least favorite artist to work with is.

You both don’t even notice when the Arrow Mclaren team takes a picture of you laughing in their hospitality area. You only noticed after the race when your phone started to blow up.

“Everything okay?” Elba asks as you stare at your phone with a frown. You are in the safety of Pato’s motorhome, away from prying eyes.

“My publicist is freaking out. I wasn’t supposed to officially be here and being spotted with you as made the public assume things,” the pinched line between your eyebrows tells Elba just how frustrated you are.

“So you aren’t allowed to have friends,” she scoffs. Even if she can tell there is a spark between you and her brother, there’s no need to push that at the moment. A devilish smile creeps onto her face as she looks at you. “I bet those rumors are killing Oscar,” she says while watching the frustration melt into satisfaction.

“I would never use you or your brother like that, but I have to admit I like the idea,” you smile.

“Hello sister and supposed girlfriend,” Pato walks in, causing you to sit up a little. He clearly isn’t bothered by it. Secretly, he loves it, he wasn’t lying earlier about being romantically interested.

“Do your ears burn?” Elba asks, eyebrow raised like this isn’t Pato’s motorhome.

“No?”

“Hm, okay,”

“Sorry, I didn’t realize that a photo of Elba and I would cause so much trouble,” you apologize, a little embarrassed at the public’s reaction. You went from never having a public photo of you and Oscar to having articles being written about you and Pato when you aren’t even together yet.

“So I shouldn’t post the photo of you with my car?” Pato asks lightheartedly.

“Post whatever you’d like,” your words are truthful, it’s a good photo and people already know you are hanging out.

“Good, you look very cute in it,” Pato’s words cause your cheeks to flush.

“I should go, my car is here. Congrats on your podium,” you stand, sneakily leaving a slip of paper on the chair behind you.

Pato and Elba watch you disappear. Guess you aren’t getting drinks tonight.

“You really like her, don’t you?” Elba asks, watching as Pato stares at the door you left from.

“She’s different. I should be thrown off about Oscar, but she didn’t know me. She loves racing too. I want her, but I’m willing to wait,” Pato says wistfully. Elba subtly picks up the paper that you dropped.

“Well, she lefts this. Maybe it’s a good start,” Elba leaves Pato to himself.

Pato, sorry I had to leave quickly. Text me when you get to this address, 10pm…

Your handwriting is neat with the details listed at the end. A quick google search of the name tells him it’s a members-only upscale bar. It’s so exclusive it has a dress code and no address listed online.

His stomach churns with nerves as he sends a text to you letting you know he’s there. A moment later a man in a suit opens the door for him. He’s never been so nervous for a date.

“Mr. O’Ward, follow me,” Pato runs his hands nervously down his button-down, smoothing non-existent wrinkles. The tie feels tight as he steps further into the bar. Pato spots you wearing a sleek black dress with hair perfectly styled. You look absolutely breathtaking as you stand to greet him, pressing a light kiss to his cheek.

“Sorry for the formality, it’s just the best place for privacy,” you apologize.

“It’s okay. This is a really cool place,” Pato looks around, shocked at the big names sitting near him.

“I ordered some food, if that’s okay, but the waiter will be back soon for drink orders,” you tell him. relaxing into the seat.

“That’s perfect,” Pato takes a look at the menu, noticing there’s no prices.

“Don’t worry about the cost, I’ve paid for everything already,” you answer his thoughts, practically reading his mind.

“But-“

“I asked you out and invited you, you weren’t going to pay regardless,” your smile tells him to enjoy being treated so he does.

“How was your first Indycar weekend?” he asks after you order drinks.

“I enjoyed it, I think I might have a new favorite driver,”

“You mean I wasn’t your favorite in the first place?” Pato teases.

“No, it was Nico Rosberg, jury is still out if he’s moving from number one,” your eyes crinkle.

“Will that change if I show you pictures of my dog?”

“Absolutely,” you lean in to look at his phone. You may be a cat person, but you love dogs almost as much as you love cats.

Your first date turns into two, then three, then four, then nights spent together. Pato even occasionally joins you at the studio while you record your new album. The summer flies and you make some appearances at races as Elba’s friend - which isn’t untrue. Your fans connected the dots when you posted a dump that included Pato’s dog and Pato posted the photo of you with his car from your garage tour.

She joins you and Pato at COTA. You’ve spent the whole week both stressed and nervous as you practiced your set and announced your new album, eternal sunshine.

“Are you okay?” she asks as you nervously walk through the paddock.

“No, but it’s okay,” you frown, glancing at your pass. Your cream linen outfit is neutral, you didn’t even touch the Arrow Mclaren gear that Pato gifted you when packing for the weekend. He insisted that you didn’t have to accept Mclaren’s offer to be a guest on the day of your performance, but you told him that you would stick with Elba. Your PR team thought it would be a good idea too, especially since you are known to support the Indycar team.

“We can take a shot before going over,” she suggests.

“It’s not even noon,”

“Doesn’t matter,” she shrugs. You follow her as she leads you to a bar, ordering two shots. You’ll just drink extra water before performing tonight. It doesn’t stop the nerves pooling in your stomach as you approach the papaya area, but it does make your brain not care as much.

“Y/n!” Lando practically falls over himself running over to greet you.

“Hey Lando,” your smile is tight, glad it’s him and not Oscar, but not happy to see him this early in the day. You thought you had another hour at least.

“I’m sorry, I was going to reach out but I didn’t think you’d want to hear from me,” his words fall on your deaf ears.

“Save it. If you want to apologize, keep him away from me,” your words are resolute.

“Too late,” Elba says under her breath and suddenly you wish you took more than one shot. You don’t know Pato approaching from behind you, you are honed in on the person now in front of you.

“I see you have a type,” the first words every girl wants to hear from her ex. Certainly not ‘i’m sorry’ or ‘i am the worst, you deserve better than me’. You squeeze Elba’s wrist, silently telling her to stand down before she yells.

“Right, well, he doesn’t cheat on me in my house and bed multiple times, shamelessly apologize when I walk in on it and then send photos to me together with the same girl in that bed a week later. So, I’d say he isn’t like you at all. And if you think you are my type, then you are sorely mistaken,” your eyes narrow. Lando gives Oscar a WTF look, clearly unimpressed with his teammate. He didn’t know the whole story, all Oscar told him was you broke up.

“It’s a shame no one will know who she’s talking about on her album. Except for the ones that are clearly about Pato. Trust me, you’ll know which ones those are,” Elba can’t resist herself, and you are proud of it. You probably shouldn’t have let her listen to two of the demos though.

“What?” Oscar’s eyes widen, not expecting you to tell the world about your break up. Lando is silently thrilled, he can’t wait for your new album. It’s too bad he will have to wear headphones while listening to it.

“You seriously didn’t expect me to not write about it, did you?” you raise your eyebrow. “I wrote about the good and will sure as hell write about the ugly. Be glad I respect you just enough to not name drop you,”

“Hermosa, let’s go,” Pato wraps an arm around your waist, pressing a quick kiss to your cheek, gently removing you from the situation. You startle slightly, not having realized his presence.

“Just wait until she sings tonight,” Elba shoots another comment at Oscar, channeling the spite that you won’t show. Just because you are taking the high road doesn’t mean she has to.

“Elba,” Pato’s sharp voice calling back to her tells her enough and she walks away. Sending one final nasty look over her shoulder before catching up with you and Pato.

“Dude, what the fuck,” Lando turns to his teammate.

“I, she broke up with me,”

“You cheated on her. Multiple times apparently. You know what? We are not having this discussion here. Lucky enough no one was around to see this whole fiasco. Just, stay away from her,” Lando shakes his head, leaving Oscar to wallow in his thoughts.

“Hey, none of that was your fault,” Pato keeps you close, your breathes deep and shaky as you hold yourself together. He brings you into a small empty room, Elba closes the door behind you as tears streak down your cheeks. You sit on the floor, leaning against the wall.

“I’m sorry, I don’t know why I’m crying,” Pato crouches in front of you, thumb wiping away a tear.

“You weren’t ready to encounter him again. I’m so proud of how you handled it, and it’s okay to cry,” he reassure you, which makes you cry harder. Elba bites back a comment about the aforementioned boy, but he should be careful to not run into her again. She’s only nice when not talking to someone who hurt her friend. Pato moves to sit beside you, pulling you into his lap. He lets you cry it out, something you refused to do when you found out about Oscar’s infidelity. You’ve been so strong for so long, you’ve never given yourself the chance to feel your feelings.

“How much of it did you hear?” you tearily ask, a little ashamed that you revealed a part of the story you never told Pato. So much pain put out for the world to hear in a fit of anger.

“Most of it,” Pato answers and you know he knows.

“This is not how this weekend was supposed to start,” you rest your head against Pato’s now damp shirt. Elba stepped out to grab water for you and give you some privacy.

“No,” he agrees, brushing a lock of hair away from your face. Pato won’t vocalize it, but he’s worried about you being in the Paddock for his free practice drive in Mexico.

“Am I doing the right thing by being here? Maybe I shouldn’t have agreed to perform,” your voice is thick with that post-cry sound.

“Absolutely, this was hard but I think it will help with your healing. He can’t touch you anymore, he’ll risk your fans knowing he is the one who hurt you,” Pato is reassuring himself too, it was terrifying to find you face to face with Oscar.

“Right,” your tears have stopped.

“Hey, we need to get lunch before sound check,” Elba pops in, carefully tossing the bottle of water to Pato.

“Right,” you sniff, carefully removing yourself from Pato’s hold and standing up.

“Drink this, you need to rehydrate. Fuck, and I need to go to a meeting,” Pato kisses you, letting it last a second too long before leaving you and Elba.

“I can hurt him, make it look like an accident. Then Pato can race this weekend,” Elba suggests. You know she won’t and can’t, but you crack a smile anyway.

“I don’t deserve you or Pato,” you hug her.

“Let’s fix your mascara and get out there. We’ve avoided your team this long, I don’t know how much longer we can manage,” you and Elba find Mclaren hospitality and take advantage of the drivers being in a meeting. You two are gone by the time they get there.

You make your way to the concert stage for a sound check with your band. The hot Texas heat beating down on you.

“I’m making changes to the set list,” you hand them the revised one. “We are doing three songs from the new album. Opening with True Story, then we will do The Boy is Mine and Eternal Sunshine later in the show. Maybe ending with Boy is Mine,” you tell them.

“But those aren’t your singles,”

“It’s a gift to the fans, it’ll help get hype around the album,” you lie, you just feel that they will send the message to Oscar. It’s your little piece of revenge.

“Sounds good, we will practice those later,” your guitarist says. You run through a couple of your hits so the sound levels can be adjusted, before going into a meeting with your team.

“We have an interview set up with F1 TV in half an hour. It’s some type of quiz with Hinchcliffe while doing a hot lap,” your publicist tells you as you hydrate and stretch.

“Right, well, let’s get ready,” you head to the dressing room that is air conditioned, thankfully.

“So, the rumor is that you are a big motorsport fan,” Hinch starts off the interview.

“Ever since I was a kid. I’ve been to a few grand prix before, and now I get to perform at one,” you reply, happy to talk about racing.

“Is Mclaren your favorite team then?”

“No, but I’ll never tell who is,” your playful expression is opposite to the one you wore earlier. No one can tell that you had been crying.

“Well, you’ve been a frequent guest at Indycar races. Who is your favorite driver, me or Pato?”

“I don’t think I can answer that either,” you smile, playing along with the bit.

“So it’s me. Great taste,” he accelerates off the starting line.

“I’ve always wanted to do one of these,”

“Triva while on a hot lap? We all have our own aspirations,” he takes a turn quickly and you cheer in excitement. You confidently answer his questions.

“Can we go again? Can I drive?” you ask, not wanting to unbuckle.

“Unfortunately that’s all the track time we have today,” you sadly unbuckle, giving the in-car camera a thumbs down.

“Thank you for the ride,” you tell him after getting out.

“Thank you, I don’t think I’ve had anyone tell me to go faster. Good luck on your performance tonight,” he is a little shocked at how well you handled it.

“Thank you, I’ll give you a backstage pass if you let me drive,” you say once the cameras stop filming and the mic is removed.

“Unfortunately I cannot this time. Get Pato to rent a track for you. Has he taken you on a lap yet?”

“No, he will in Mexico. Don’t tell anyone, but you are my favorite commentator,” you take your bag from an assistant and hand him a pass.

“I will be holding this over Buxton’s head,” Hinch waves the pass before you part ways. You find Elba and Pato to watch qualifying before you have to get ready for the concert. Elba leaves to get food, claiming that now is the right time while everyone else is busy on track.

“Are you nervous,” Pato asks, his fingers entwined with yours as you stare at the screen.

“A little, but I changed the set to add some of the new album,” you keep your eyes trained on the Ferrari on the screen.

“I have a request from the social media team,” your head turns to look at your boyfriend at the uneasiness in his voice. “They want Oscar and Lando to watch the concert with me, they think,”

“They think it will show team togetherness since you will already be there to watch me,” you sigh, mulling it over. “Fuck. If I say no then it makes me look like an asshole,” your frown deepens at the thought.

“Lando said he will make sure Oscar is gone by the time you get offstage,”

“No, they will want a video or picture of me interacting with them,” you run a hand through your hair and Pato regrets asking on behalf of the team.

“It’s not a big deal if you say no. I can watch from the front row with them and come backstage once you are done. Then the social team still gets what they want,” Pato reassures you with another option.

“Yeah, I think I like that more. Plus, I can sing to you easier that way,” your frown goes away as you lean into him. He removes his hand from yours and wraps his arm around you. “The pass I gave you should let you immediately come backstage, and I’ll have my team inform security to let you through,”

“You are going to kill it, I’m excited to see you onstage,”

“I’m excited too, I can shake off the rust. Oh, and Lando can come backstage with you. Since you introduced him to my music,” Pato lightly groans with embarrassment as you giggle.

“I had no idea you knew him when I told you that! It’s his fault that he didn’t tell me he knew your music,” Pato defends himself.

“Am I too late?” Nolan appears in the doorway, a little out of breath.

“Nolan?” you ask, a little like an excited puppy. You would lay down your life for him, he’s like your baby brother now.

“I couldn’t miss the concert. I tried to be here an hour ago, but the traffic is insane,” he shakes his head as he greets Pato with that weird male handshake.

“Sometimes I think you love Nolan more than me,” Pato says as you hug his teammate.

“I doooo,” you dramatically sway back in forth in the hug.

“I knew it,” Pato shakes his head lovingly. “Oh and surprise. I figured you’d like the extra support,” Pato got your team to give him an extra pass after Nolan dropped some not so subtle hints about wanting to be here.

“Hey Nolan,” Elba returns with a plate of food for you.

“Where’s mine?”

“Um, you can eat later. You aren’t going on stage in a few hours,” Elba waves her brother off.

As every minute in qualifying ticks by you increasingly get both nervous and excited. As Q3 reaches its halfway point, your phone buzzes to summon you away before the crowds start.

“You are going to be amazing, I’ll be front and center,” Pato hugs you, pressing a soft kiss to your lips.

“I will be there too,” Nolan interjects.

“I’ll be backstage before the show,” Elba promises. You thank them and head out. You are immediately thrown into warm ups and hair and makeup.

“15 minutes,” the stage manager warns. You check your phone one last time before grabbing your water and heading to the stage.

“Good luck, you got this, you are an icon,” Elba starts to hype you up, and your laugh makes her join your laughter.

“I’m more worried for my fans, they aren’t expecting new music to be performed,” you shake your head as you are directed to a platform.

“You will smash it,” she says as she’s led to the wings. You focus on your breathing and hydration.

The lights go dark and the crowd silences. A cue tells you to start your first surprise. Your voice is alone in the dark as you start singing. You start rising in the darkness during the first gimmie love section of the intro and as soon as the platform locks into place and your beat picks up a golden light flushes the stage. The show’s begun.

Pato soaks in the vision of you up on the stage and how Oscar has to mask his shock. It didn’t take long for Oscar to realize that bad light you paint of him, the opposite of how you’d written him in the past. You send a subtle smile Pato’s way, one he returns as an eager grin.

“Dude, your girlfriend is killing it,” Lando yells over the music. You are currently singing one of your first hits, and the energy is high.

“I want her to adopt me,” Nolan agrees. Even the songs you wrote about Oscar feel directed at Pato now, and that’s a new level of hurt. The final blow comes as you end the show with your newest steamy song, and everyone know who you are singing about and to.

“Holy shit,” Pato says as he listens to your words, he hasn’t heard this one yet and it’s capital H-O-T. You strut upstage, back to the audience as you end the song. During the final word, ‘mine’, you turn your head back to look at the crowd, quickly finding Pato’s eyes and sing the word. The lights go dark, and it’s somehow more electric than your start.

“I’m actually speechless,” Lando says as Nolan grabs Pato’s shoulders, shaking him.

“Dude,” he is practically jumping. “You are her’s and she let everyone know,” Nolan says.

“Imagine having a song like that written for you, that must be so cool. Right, Osc?” Lando turns to his teammate, still mad about the recent facts he learned about. Oscar swallows, nodding.

“Yeah, that certainly seems very cool,” Oscar begrudgingly agrees.

“Mr. O’Ward and guests, your presence is required backstage,” security arrives just as expected. Oscar follows but before they reach you, the group is stopped. They couldn’t just leave him to a crowd of fans.

“Alright guys, smile,” the Mclaren admin takes a quick picture while they wait for you to finish taking off your mic pack and monitors.

Still high off of the performance, you practically jumping into Pato’s arms, not looking at who else was around. Elba trails you, a jacket in hand for when you get cold from your sweat evaporating away.

“You were incredible, mi amor,” he holds you, letting you kiss him, arms around his neck.

“Hey, we get it, the boy is yours. You literally just sang about it,” Lando jokes as you pull away from Pato. The way you two look at each is different than when you and Oscar were together. Fondness? Sure. But the look you and Pato give one another is deeper.

“I would like to bleach my eyes,” Elba agrees.

“Mind if we get a couple photos?” the Mclaren admin asks and your social team also approaches to get some. You stand between Pato and Nolan. Elba is on the other side of Pato, Lando beside Nolan, and Oscar on the other side of Lando.

“I take it you guys liked the show?” you ask, proceeding as if Oscar wasn’t there. The more you act like nothing happened and you don’t know him, the worse he will feel.

“It was incredible,” Nolan answers for the group.

“I’m glad,” you smile tiredly. The physical exhaustion of the performance hitting you. “Thank you guys for coming, I hope you do well tomorrow,” you give Nolan and Lando hugs, offering just a nod to Oscar. Fans know he doesn’t like physical touch like that, so it doesn’t seem abnormal.

Your fingers intertwine with Pato’s as you practically drag him back to your dressing room, locking the door behind you. You plop down into the comfy chair and Pato helps remove your heels.

“I have to admit, a part of me wanted to climb onto that stage and carry you off of it when you were singing to me,” Pato gently massages your calves.

“I wouldn’t have been opposed. Just wait until the album comes out,” your sly grin widens as he stands up and steps closer to you.

“Be careful with what you say, hermosa,” his voice deepens as you tilt your chin up at him.

“I can be quiet. These clothes need to come off anyway,” your breath hitches as he lifts you up, lips crashing together. His hands slide to your back, working your outfit off.

You spend the next few months laying low as you plan a short tour after your album released on Thanksgiving. You even train with Pato. It’s surprising how similar your training is to his and it keeps both of you accountable.

Everything really hits you again the first time you walk the red carpet with Pato. He’s so proud to be at your side, showing you off and supporting you. It’s nothing you’ve ever had before. He’s here when your album isn’t eligible for awards until next year, when you just have to be here for the appearance.

“Thank you for being here,” you whisper in his ear as you sit at a table, tearing up a little as your hands are joined underneath the table.

“Of course I’m here, you support me. I like being your WAG,” Pato turns towards you, feeling as if he is doing the bare minimum. “Amor, I would go anywhere for you, just like you would for me,” he brings your hand up from under the table and kisses your knuckles.

To him, this is just a scratch of the support he wants to provide you. It feels like nothing in comparison to what you’ve done for him. You scheduled a whole tour around the month of May so you could spend it living out of a motorhome with him.

“I love you so much,”

“I love you more.”

[00valentina-writes00]

how are you able to write so much?? i feel like i see your works everyday (and im not complaining) btw i love your fics

bestie i am simply possessed. there is no other explanation. words? they appear. coherence? questionable. but the key is to let the brainrot consume you. no thoughts, just vibes, just pure unfiltered delusion. i write like i’m running out of time and also like i have a gun to my head.

In all seriousness though here’s some things that I do on a daily basis that might help me be a fast writer:

word vomit first, edit later – don’t let your inner perfectionist ruin the flow. get the skeleton down, flesh it out later.

set a timer – sprint like ur life depends on it. 10-15 min bursts. no distractions. pure chaos. (I have note books on top of notebooks since middle school of small drabbles that I’ve written, I write SOMETHING every day- no matter the quality)

skip the hard parts – don’t know how to transition? just write [insert cool shit here] and keep going. past you can suffer later.

channel raw delusion – convince yourself you are the best writer alive. manifest that shit.

Dialogue first, details later – if your brain is spitting out conversations, just get them down. You can add actions/descriptions after.

Use brackets like a menace – [describe the room] [make this sexier] [cool metaphor??] – slap those in and keep MOVING.

Write out of order – got a banger ending in mind? write it first. connect the dots later.

Music & ambiance hacks – write a fight scene to heavy metal. write angst in the dark. become one with the mood. (For some reason my hand moves faster depending on what I’m listening to)

Use a fake audience – imagine you’re being watched by 1000 screaming fangirls waiting for your words. let the pressure fuel you.

And the most cliche thing? Practice practice practice - like I’ve said before, I’ve been writing things like this since middle school, and writing is my hobby (one that I love tbh), I’m always typing SOMETHING out. Like how some people who can draw really well in a short amount of time, or people who can read really fuckin fast- it depends on the person. It think writing so much (no matter the quality) has definitely helped with my writing speed-

[sturnconfess]

hey…i just want to vent

1. i hate the fandom treated madi like shit and now they are all we love you madi like stfu

2. i know sturniolos don’t talk politics come for me but it’s better for their career if they don’t, I am the biggest swiftie in the world… but but I do wish that she never brought up politics because the issue with politics is you’re going to have your audience in two sides and unfortunately, with the triplets and with Taylor, they have a kid audience in a teen audience and some parents are either super against other political beliefs or opinions and will talk bad about them and will discredit them and will prohibit them from being allowed in their house so I personally think it’s a good thing they do not talk politically but personal opinions…

3. I miss their old videos…. Personally feel as though some of them have gotten better recently, but I do miss some of they’re old original content…

4. I love the fandom, but I also hate fandom at the same time because there’s two sides of that there’s people who understand that they should be allowed to have relationships or even hanging out with girls without being shipped with then and then there’s the bat shit crazy side that makes us look bad…

5. FINAL POINT…. I like some of the merch, but some of it seems very similar…. And not super original…. No hate to Laura. I’m not gonna stay opinions on that.ummmmm… but I do feel though it would benefit them to either get a new management team or new people on their team like a creative assistance, and editing because I feel like if they had someone who could edit for them, we might get more content because I feel like Nick stresses himself out editing…

that’s all ❤️

.

[hyohaehyuk]

Den of Geek - Interview With the Vampire Cast on the One Thing They Don’t Tell You About Playing Vampires

Den of Geek: Jacob, in the first episode, Louis asked Daniel to let the story seduce. Do you feel you’ve accomplished that, and how does it feel?

Jacob Anderson: Yeah, I think he does let the story seduce. I think it reveals at the end that Louis let the story seduce himself. I remember Rolin talked about this quite a lot, Louis tries to hypnotize himself a little bit when he’s telling this story. To the extent that he believes it himself. Maybe he believes there are things that he says that might not be completely reliable. But then, who among us really tells a reliable, completely truthful, story about our own lives and our own participation in our lives, and other people’s? Yeah, I think he succeeded. Maybe a little bit too well.

Sam, you are center stage in two character-defining genre moments. When you’re holding a head and punching tickets, is there an awareness of how this is gonna play on screen? And how does that energize your performance?

Sam Reid: Yeah, definitely, I think Rolin knew what he was doing, too, when he wrote those moments. I don’t write those beats, I see them on a page, and it’s my job to interpret them. Actually, the decapitated head had a lot of discussion around it, and whether it was going to be too far or not. I think I may have shot that sequence, and Bailey was there too, so I’m expected to remember, more times than I think I shot anything, ever. We did it so many times.

I always talk about the practical effects of this show, but they’re so astonishing. It’s almost worth ruining the illusion just to know how we shot it. So, when I kick open that door, I’m jumping across a little moving car that I’m standing on, to another one that’s being held by members of the production design team, shaking the cart. So, it’s being shaken by people, and then the carriage that disappears behind me is a 2-D flat piece of wood that is being pulled apart by a whole bunch of guys on ropes while I jump across it. It’s so detailed. Every shot was just beautiful the way they make those things.

Jacob Anderson: And fun fact, that head is the head of Adam O’Byrne, producer.

Sam Reid: Yeah, it’s the head cast of one of our producers on the show, which was very funny to walk around with his head and have to work out how to manipulate it into being a puppet.

Jacob Anderson: [Mimicking] Get back to work!

Bailey, you play the same scenarios in two different worlds. Louis’ first telling and then after Daniel bullies them into the real story. I’m assuming you shoot these on the same set at the same time? How do you differentiate these realities internally?

Bailey Bass: We have an incredible crew that’s very supportive. Alexis Ostrander was very great at directing how Claudia should feel, and Rolin Jones knew exactly how he wanted the audience to feel in those moments. Because I was playing Claudia so truthfully as her for most of the show, when I’m doing that scene that’s not true – that Louis made up to make himself feel better – it was a bit of a challenge. I was grateful for both of them, Alexis and Rolin, for giving me guidance on how to live Louis’ lie rather than Claudia’s truth.

When you add up all the vampire abuses, do you feel Lestat earned an attempted death sentence?

Sam Reid: I hope so. I hope he earned it, and I hope people feel like that was earned. I mean, God, what other choice do these people have but to kill him? And I think he knows that too. I really hope the audience feel that he should have died. Lestat, particularly at the end when he realizes that it’s Louis with the knife and not Claudia, he feels like, “Okay, I’ve gone too far. And I need to die.” [Laughs]

Bailey, Claudia instigated it.

Bailey Bass: I think Claudia is, definitely, like: “Yes, he should have died.” I’ve been watching every episode as it airs on AMC+ so I can live it with the fans, and there are all these arguments about Louis, Lestat, Claudia, and our relationships. It’s really interesting. Because of Rolin’s great vision and writing, our characters are so equally specific, which makes audiences fall in love with them. When I’m watching it as a fan, I see why people don’t want Lestat to die. But then I also played Claudia, and I know how her brain works. And of course, he deserved to die.

And finally, Jacob, you’re the one who left Lestat with the rats, do you feel he deserved it?

Jacob Anderson: No, I think Louis doesn’t necessarily feel like he wants him to die. I think a lot of it is about freedom. They’re trapped in his house, and Claudia and Louis are essentially prisoners. I think that the only way they’re going to be able to escape the situation they’re in, is for Lestat to just be off the board for a little bit. He needs to go and sit in the naughty coffin and think about what he’s done. It’s like they’re on a break, essentially. That break will facilitate Claudia and Louis being able to explore their existence a little bit more, and explore their relationship, and their lives outside of this house. Get out of there. They’re not going to be able to get out of that house, unless Lestat is also out of that house.

Sam Reid: It’s also a very kind gesture, in a way, for Louis to do it to Lestat, because Lestat doesn’t really develop that much as a character over the first season. He’s got a lot of issues that he doesn’t really deal with. And sometimes the nicest thing that someone can do, or that a monster partner can do, is kill you to instigate a bit of personal change. Hopefully, this is the first step in a character arc for Lestat.

Jacob Anderson: It’s like any relationship, right? Sometimes you just have to have the big, big, big argument that completely changes how you perceive your relationship. Without that, how can you move on and establish something new?

Sam Reid: Yeah, yeah. They live forever, you know? You gotta make big choices.

Cosmetically, technically, and emotionally, what is something no one prepares you for when you take on the role of a vampire?

Jacob Anderson: Nights. The nights.

Sam Reid: Yeah. Working at night.

Jacob Anderson: Yeah, because the scripts are so beautifully written. They’re so dense, full of ideas, and full of beautiful dialogue. You don’t want to mess any of it up. You have to switch your brain into a place where it can operate at full capacity. At 4 a.m., you’re having to do this very lofty stuff, and it’s very difficult to actually prepare for that without just doing it.

Bailey Bass: Because, eventually, we all have a time at night where we start to get delusional. I documented the whole show, I’m watching videos of myself and I can pinpoint exactly when I started to lose my mind. You have to rework it to keep acting at 100%.

Along with that, no one could have prepared me for the lenses. Your vision is restricted. Sometimes we couldn’t see our other actors’ faces while we’re acting, which can make it really difficult because one of the first things you learn when you’re acting, as part of acting, is reacting. It’s mainly: when you can’t see the muscles of your actors’ face, how are you supposed to do that? Along with that, the lenses change how they feel in your eyes, based on the environment you’re in. So, if we’re working at 4 a.m., depending on the degrees it is outside, it will affect how the lenses feel on your eyes. No one can even explain that until you feel it on your eyeball.

Sam Reid: Yeah, the nights and the lenses. It’s very hard to grasp what that feels like, for the extended period of time that we did it. You enter something like a dream world, literally, that’s the best way that I can think of describing it. It’s like this bizarre dream primordial soup.

How will season two deal with Claudia and Louis’ falling out?

Jacob Anderson: How exciting to find out. I can’t wait to find out.

[sportsallover]

Watching Wimbledon is like playing Guess Who, and 9 times out of 10 I lose

[housederiva]

You would have more people following this blog if you didn't reblog posts about people negatively critiquing DATV, you know that right? It's just a suggestion but maybe you should pick an audience to cater to instead of flip flopping?

Do you arrange the furniture in your house to be more pleasing to the people passing by the windows then you who lives inside?

[goldkirk]

hey this isn’t aimed at anyone in particular but I’m saying it for the record here: if I tell you no, please stop messaging me about fundraisers and mutual aid.

I get enough messages that it’s impossible for me to keep up without devoting at least half an hour each day, when I’m not even on tumblr that long most days. Me having a boundary about this isn’t a moral failing, it’s a lifeboat for me on my own blog.

In my personal life I’m already advocating and donating literally as much as I can spare. This is not me not caring, it’s just me not willing to interact with that on the one place I go online to not interact with irl news and world events for the most part.

I cannot be upset all the time. I cannot be upset everywhere. I cannot use all my emotional and mental energy fielding my own upset from ongoing events. My options are to hold boundaries about this or stop coming online at all.

I’m all for sharing information and signal boosting to reasonable extents, but the scale of it this year is so large and so enduring that it is literally not possible to for me to participate on every account I have. I’ve previously shared links to Gaza eSIM donations and a major hub of verified Go Fund Mes here and elsewhere online. We, the online humans, know how to look those things up ourselves by now. There are many, many people choosing to do advocacy work, and right now, I can’t be one of them.

If you’re extremely upset when I tell you I can’t share/donate right now about a Gaza family or personal fundraiser you ask me to share here, just unfollow and block me. That’s what those buttons are for. Protect your own emotions and energy and get me off your feed instead of staying upset and continuing to engage with online people or content that upsets you.

Please don’t send repeated angry messages based on manufactured purity politics and moral outrage into my messages and inbox when I exercise the right to run my own blog.