#I don’t know much about Christianity so if my Jesus facts are off let me know

[scolothanatos]

My edit for the nightmare Lalo AU!

The background pic is from Misery, the story of an obsessive fan who tortures the man she has trapped in her home.

I added killer car movie posters because Nacho’s childhood is being warped into a nightmare. What once may have represented joy now represents destruction.

the red barbed wire crown in the bottom right represents martyrdom, and a royalty that brings nothing. Nacho as a martyr comes up a lot in my Nacho-musing. In the Bible, the crown of thorn was put on Jesus’ head to mock him, as well as the INRI said to have been written above him. The existence of a barbed wire fence implies something secure that must be protected. The existence of a predator implies a prey.

The collar on the bottom left is a torture device. It goes around the neck, impaling the flesh with spikes. The spikes continue to the outside- if someone helps, they will hurt too.

You give a collar to a dog so if they run away, someone will bring them back again.

There’s also a popular style of BDSM collar with spikes on the inside, though those spikes are much smaller and less sharp.

I chose those quotes because it encapsulates the intimate horror between them. Lalo will show him the heights of pain and pleasure. Nacho will wear his collar of thorns and prick his fingers trying to escape it.

The two are already entwined, not only by fear but by design. The intimacy of blood, of pain, of sex, of surgery, is the intimacy of Lalo’s love.

This is based on your fic “still here”!

Hopefully you don’t mind me making an edit. I got inspired! Sorry it kind of sucks. Reading chapter 3 put me in the “dark fairytale” mindset.

Your fics are amazing, thank you so much for your creativity.

- @scolothanatos

[blessedarethebinarybreakers]

Hey, this is going to be long and wordy but I’m kinda desperate. Lately I’ve been having doubts about whether Jesus actually said what’s recorded in the gospels and whether those accounts are true, and the uncertainty there scares me, especially since I know the gospel writers almost certainly had their own agendas and that’s why accounts of the same event can sound different, why the birth narrative was skipped over or not, etc. On top of that I’ve seen posts from Jewish users outlining why Judaism typically doesn’t accept Jesus as Messiah/why you can’t be Jewish if you believe that, and their arguments seem pretty sound. So it all boils down to this big scary question of “What if this whole Jesus-as-Messiah thing was just the result of projection onto some random guy who seemed to be the real deal because the writers were so desperate to be rescued from the Roman occupation?” It sucks cuz I’ve been enjoying my renewed interest in church (for the most part) and while I’ve tried my best to learn not to take the Bible literally all the time (yay for growing up in an inerrantist doctrinal tradition 🙄), I still want to take it seriously and I still want to believe in Jesus as savior/Lord/etc. I don’t want to just be like, “Yeah I don’t buy the whole Messiah thing but I can still follow his example!” I want there to be meat behind why I follow, if that makes sense. So inasmuch as this could be my OCD being bored and trying to take hold of whatever it thinks would bug me the most (wouldn’t be the first time!), I would really appreciate any advice you have. I know there may not be any certainty or reassurance to be found here, but I still want to hear from someone who’s been there before so I can chart a path forward, and I think this is an important question to wrestle with. Plus I remember from one of your posts you said you have seminary notes on this exact topic so I’m curious lol.

"Gospel Truth": how do we know what Jesus really said and did?

Hey again! Sorry for the long delay on this one but I wanted to do some research before responding! You're right that these are important questions, and you're absolutely not the only one to feel doubt and anxiety over them. You're also right that I can't offer you certainty, but I do hope you'll find encouragement here, and places to go as you continue your journey.

This got super long (as always lol), so let's start with aTL;DR:

In this post, you'll find that there's a lot that we can surmise is very probable about Jesus' life story, but that ultimately we can't know much for certain — and that's okay. In Evolving in Monkey Town: How a Girl Who Knew All the Answers Learned to Ask the Questions), Rachel Held Evans gets to the heart of the matter:

"I don’t know which Bible stories ought to be treated as historically accurate, scientifically provable accounts of facts and which stories are meant to be metaphorical. I don’t know if it really matters so long as those stories transform my life."

This is a time where scholarship & faith go hand-in-hand: using the minds God gifted us, we study and learn what we can; and we cultivate faith in the things we can't — a faith that doesn't deny doubt, but makes room for it, and calls us into community so that we can wrestle out meaning together.

A couple other notes before we kick off:

Please know that you don't Have To Study All The Things if you decide it's healthier for you not to go chasing those rabbit holes. You don't need to be an expert in Biblical studies to be a "good Christian" or to take scripture seriously or to get to know God deeply.

I trust you know yourself and how your OCD works better than I could. So I'm going to share the information I have, and leave it to you to determine for yourself how much information you need in order to feel reassured, without giving your mind new problems to ruminate over.

So here's a link to a Google doc that has A Lot of information — like, too much lol. But save it for after you read this post; I'm putting the most relevant & important info here! If you finish this post and feel satisfied, you never even have to look in the doc.

However deep you go, if you find yourself getting overwhelmed, know that whatever you are feeling is valid and probably pretty common, and take a break! Do a calming meditation or an activity you enjoy to help regulate your mind and body. If possible, have someone you can unpack this stuff with — or have a notebook ready to journal in. <3

Okay, all that outta the way, let's dig in!

Who wrote the Gospels?

Tradition goes that the authors of the four canonical Gospels are three of Jesus' closest disciples — Matthew, Mark, and John — plus a disciple of Paul — Luke. But academics have determine that this tradition is very improbable; it's much more likely that none of the four authors knew Jesus personally, and that the earliest of them (Mark) wasn't recorded till the 60s — decades after Jesus lived and died!

When people learn this, it often leads to something of a crisis of faith. If these writers didn't even know Jesus firsthand, where the heck did they get their information?? And come to think of it, why do their accounts differ? Is some of it made up? Is all of it made up??

The anxiety and fear that wells up is normal, and it's healthy to acknowledge that you're feeling it. But once that first shock abates, it's possible to discover a sort of freedom in the knowledge that the Gospel writers (and all the authors of the biblical texts) were human, with human biases and specific goals fitting their unique context; and that they didn't have all the answers!

This realization can free us to approach scripture without certain expectations (that it's all inerrant and prescriptive, etc.), and allows us to bring our doubts to the table with us. If something in the text seems questionable — particularly if it seems to promote bigotry and injustice rather than God's love — we can consider whether something in its author's cultural context might be responsible for that part of scripture.

So taking some time to learn the unique contexts of each writer can be quite enriching to how we engage the Gospels. For a chart that sums up the Gospel writers' unique contexts, audiences, and priorities, see this post.

For even more, you'll want a book that digs into that stuff — I recommend Raymond Brown's An Introduction to the New Testament (the abridged version!!). As you learn about the Gospel writers, I hope several things become evident:

First, that they weren't just making things up whole cloth, or relying on a game of "he said she said" telephone for their information! Each one drew from different primary or secondary sources, eyewitness testimonies or written texts (many of which no longer exist, but scholars have pieced together evidence of, like the famous "Q source" that both Matthew and Luke drew from).

Yes, each author does have an agenda in writing about Jesus, and in how they tell his story. But that's not a nefarious thing; it's true of any text, whether biography, poetry, novel, song — you don't take the time to write something without a purpose in mind! With variation between their specific goals, overall each Gospel writer's agenda was to persuade their audience that Jesus is worth following, and/or to offer encouragement to those who already believed.

Another thing that modern readers sometimes interpret as intentionally deceptive is that, yeah, the Gospels contain things that aren't strictly factual, and that the writers knew weren't strictly factual. This is because ancient ideas about history & biography are very different from our own. When we read a biography, we expect it to be all facts, with citations proving those facts. But the ancients were much less concerned with making sure every detail was accurate; instead, they were focused on making their specific point about whatever thing or person they were writing/reading about. So yes, they might embellish one detail or leave out another in order to fortify their desired message. They cared more about the Truth as they interpreted it than a purely factual account.

On a similar note, each Gospel writer understands Jesus and the meaning behind his story a little differently — hence why they all tell things in slightly different orders, and characterize Jesus differently, etc. This is also understandable — we all interpret stories differently; we all come to different conclusions even when we have the same or similar information. See the section in the google doc titled "each Gospel's essence" to learn more about the different ways each writer characterizes Jesus, and why they may have interpreted him the way they did.

On that topic, let's get to your question about...

Jesus — Messiah, or no?

If you read the Gospel of Matthew and take it as pure fact, you'll determine that Jesus is the Messiah his people were waiting for — that he did indeed fulfill various scriptures. But if you read Mark, you won't find that argument at all! To the author of Mark, Jesus clearly did not match the stipulations of the awaited-for Messiah — and for Mark, that's kinda the point: that Jesus is something new and surprising, unlike anything human beings expected, upturning our ideas of power and salvation.

...So how did they come to these vastly different views??

Well, Matthew was a Jew writing to persuade his fellow Jews that the Jesus movement was worth joining; to do so, he felt he had to "prove" that it fit into Jewish tradition. So he prioritizes showing how Jesus is a righteous Jew who abides by Torah, and that he is indeed the Messiah they've been waiting for.

(It's also worth noting that when Matthew writes, over and over, about Jesus "fulfilling" various bits of Hebrew scripture, that verb "fulfilling" doesn't mean what it might sound like to us — that a given text was always and only about Jesus, with the prophet having Jesus in mind when they wrote it. Rather, to Matthew "fulfilling" the text meant "filling it up" with more meaning — adding to its meaning, not replacing the old meaning. More on that, with citations, in the Google doc.)

Meanwhile, Mark's author was a Jew writing mostly to gentile members of the early Jesus movement. He knew they wouldn't care whether or not Jesus fit the Jewish expectations for a Messiah! (In fact, giving Jesus a bit more of a "Greek" flair would appeal to them more.) So Mark doesn't perform the mental and rhetorical gymnastics that Matthew does to try to make Jesus fit the Messiah requirements.

So which Gospel got it right?

For many matters of scripture, I say "it's open to interpretation!" or "Maybe both are right in different ways, conveying different truths!" But for this particular case, it is very important as Christians to accept that Jesus absolutely does not fit the Jewish requirements for their Messiah. To argue otherwise is antisemitic — it's supersessionist, meaning it claims that Christianity supersedes or replaces Judaism.

We might understand, as the author of Mark did, Jesus to be a messiah — which just means "anointed one" in Hebrew (the Greek counterpart is "Christ") — without making antisemitic claims that Jews "failed to recognize their own Messiah." (In fact, there are multiple messiahs in scripture, e.g. in Isaiah 45, the foreign king Cyrus is referred to as God's messiah; though later scriptures like Daniel do start talking about a specific Messiah who will usher in redemption & a new age for the Jewish people.)

We can understand why some of the biblical authors, like Matthew, interpreted Jesus as this specific Messiah as a result of their own specific context, without agreeing with their view. See this post about “Anti-Jewish Content in the New Testament: Why it’s there and what we should do about it” for more on this important topic.  (You can also find even further resources on supersessionism in this post.)

...Okay, so we've looked at the authors of the Gospels a good bit. We've learned that their idea of a "biography" is very different from ours — that they didn't consider it bad to rearrange, leave out, or embellish accounts — but what does that leave us with when it comes to knowing who Jesus "really" was?

What can we know for sure about Jesus?

Let's look at the facts. The first one is: we don't have any. Not any 100% certain ones, anyway. The guy lived before audio recorders and cameras; we're relying on written and oral accounts, which can be fabricated.

However, there are points about the Jesus story that are regarded as almost certainly historical by the vast majority of historians today, so let's look at those first:

Jesus almost 100% certainly existed. There is enough historical evidence (both inside and outside the Bible) to confirm this — even non-Christian historians almost unanimously agree that there was a historical Jesus. (Phew, am I right?)

Almost all historians also agree that several parts of Jesus' story almost definitely happened: that he was baptized in the Jordan; that he traveled around teaching and offering miracles (whether or not they agree he actually had the power to perform real miracles, of course); and that he was arrested and crucified by the occupying Roman Empire.

Some of these almost-irrefutable claims lend plausibility to others: if he traveled around teaching, what was he teaching? Why not the sermons, the parables recorded in the Gospels? And if he was crucified — the death of a criminal, an insurrectionist — what did he do to get himself crucified? He must have done something to cause Rome to see him as a threat to their Empire — why not some of the sayings and actions that are recorded in the Gospels, like his claim to be "Son of God" (a title used for Caesar); his protest march into Jerusalem satirizing Caesar; and his disruption at the Temple?

The attempt to determine which parts of scripture are "authentic," i.e. things that really happened / things Jesus really said," is often called "The Quest for the Historical Jesus."

Over the decades, scholars interested in this pursuit have developed various "criteria of authenticity," which they use to try to determine how probable any given bit of the Gospels is. In the google doc, I summarize the history of this "quest" and describe some of the most popular criteria. But what's important to understand is that these criteria have major limitations — they're often applied somewhat arbitrarily, for one thing, and ultimately they can't "prove" for sure whether something in the text is definitely historical or definitely not. So honestly, this is not a field of study that I recommend everyone go immerse themselves in! When I do, I have fun for a while, then kinda end up more overwhelmed by how much we can't know.

Still, sometimes these criteria of authenticity do yield some interesting points. For instance, the "Criteria of Embarrassment" (yes, that's what it's called lol) asserts that anything in the text that would have been embarrassing to its author is more likely to be historical fact — because why would the author have made something up that puts them in an unflattering light, or might be used to argue against their message?

For example, a lot of Gospel stories depict Jesus' disciples being kinda clueless, or saying petty things, or failing miserably (e.g. the denial of Peter). Why would the Gospel authors have wanted to make these earliest believers, who are meant to be role models for their audience, look so bad? This criterion says that wouldn't — that they must include those stories because they really happened, rather than being things the author made up to make their point.

Or take the Criterion of Multiple Attestation, which determines how many sources include a certain saying or event. The more sources contain a specific story, the more plausibly "authentic" that story is, since it means that different unconnected communities knew that story. Logical enough.

So yes, there are ways to consider the historicity of the Gospels — but not definitively. So the question becomes: is the historical knowledge we do have enough for me to feel some level of, I don't know, peace? stability in my faith?

And, at the end of the day, how important to me is it that every single thing the Gospels say is completely factual?

Back to what matters: the Good News

Facts are great — God gifted us our minds, and various scripture stories show God encourages us to wrestle with the text! — but we are called to faith as well.

Furthermore, taking the Bible seriously means accepting it for what it is — a collection of ancient texts compiled by humans, even if guided by Divinity — rather than insisting it be what it is not. For the Gospels, that means accepting that they are not biography, but story, and prioritize Truth over fact.

My pastor friend Roger puts it like this:

“For me, it isn’t about deciding which things Jesus really said or didn’t say. That’s a road that goes nowhere. As a pastoral response, I take scripture at face value and work to empathize with the people in and behind the text. Through that empathy, I can find some meaning that connects with what we’re facing here and now.”

When we acknowledge that the Bible includes human interpretations of the Divine, and that we bring our own human interpretations to our reading of it, where does that leave us?

It leaves us in need of conversation, of an expansion of our perspectives by talking through scripture in community. We do that conversing with friends, or attending Bible studies at church, or reading a variety of theological texts — getting as many unique understandings of Jesus as we can, joining our ideas together to get an ever broader glimpse of the Divine.

There's a reason Jesus taught in parables: he didn't want there to be one definitive answer to matters of life and faith! He wanted to ignite conversation, to draw us into community — because it's in community that we are the image of God, the Body of Christ.

So keep on wrestling, wondering, talking it through (taking time to rest when needed — there's no rush!). We discover scripture's meaning for us in our own place and time through the wrestling, together.

[gayashawol]

𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐒𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞 𝐅𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠

Ships: Kim Kibum x Male Pastor!Y/N

Genre: Smut, Angsty (It’s kinda hurt but also comfort???)

Word Count: 4000+ words

Content Warning(s): Past Child Molestation (There’s a flashback part, but it’s not very detailed), Dealing with Trauma, Sex, Dark Religious Themes, Religious Trauma

Author’s Notes: Yes, I know I said I don’t allow any sort of rape in any of my stories, but a friend suggested me to do this sort of thing and made me realise that I’ve gone through something similar where I wanted to do something again. So pretty much, this is what the story is going. It is a bit of a weird one, but I hope I was able to convey Key’s emotions well. Also, Key is in his 20s and the Pastor is about in his 40s.

I still think about what happened, the way he touched me, the way he went about it, and even the way my parents reacted when I finally told them.

While I did feel some sort of guilt, I also had this strange feeling inside of me that would admit that I liked it. Maybe I was in denial, or maybe I was being serious. I didn’t know how to feel, or how I could go about my life without pinpointing exactly the feeling I was getting.

Nonetheless, I knew I wanted to do it again.

—

It was something I thought about for years on end, and I hadn’t been able to tell anyone. I was just ashamed, or maybe people would assume that I was lying for clout.

I knew that it was something that truly happened to me, I even had the very clothes that I wore on that day. I remembered what I ate for breakfast, what my mother was planning on making me for dinner, and even down to a couple of minutes before the incident.

I never went to therapy for my pain, nor I ever went back to church. My parents were disappointed, grounding me every time I missed one day for a week until I went. It was at that very moment that my faith was crippled.

I tend to cry when I think of my emotions, but this time was different. A part of me wanted to move on, even though I didn’t know how to. That was when I was on the phone with my parents, explaining about the pain that I’d been going through. They suggested me to go back, but I wasn’t sure.

My parents hated the fact that I was an atheist. The amount of screaming matches I had to go through, just because they wanted to force the bible on me. Every single time I tell them to stop, they get louder and louder. I had no power over them, and I would feel trapped within myself.

However, this was the first time I agreed with them. I was in my 20s, surely he would change. I shook my head, before cutting off to process exactly what I was about to do.

I planned my trip to my hometown, packing up clothes I would know they would approve. I knew I had to look as manly as possible, especially when I go to church. I took in a crisped grey suit and pants, with a bow on them.

A couple of days later, I finally made that trip and was at the front door of my parents’ house. They seemed so happy to see me upon opening and letting me in, but the facade broke away, and their strictness was back.

“Kibum, if you’re staying here, you will need to go to church with us every Sunday.” I sighed, face-palming while contemplating why I thought it would be a good idea to come back home. I knew I’d only be here for a week, but just the memories coming back made it ten times worse.

I saw my childhood room, thinking about all the times I cried alone in my bed that day. I just wish I could speak to my past self and comfort him. Everything here was filled with horrible thoughts, and not even the TV was safe. The amount of Christian content that I had to watch was concerning. I used to be made fun of at school for not watching shows that all the kids were watching simply because it wasn’t allowed.

I saw a picture of my younger self, in a suit ready to go to church. Right next to it, there was another picture of me, but I was being baptised. It was the happiest day of my life. I thought that I was going to love Jesus forever and be a Christian for the rest of my life. Sadly, that wouldn’t be the case.

I woke up to my parents knocking on my door to get ready to go to church. I was very nervous, yet I put on a brave face as I took a shower to clear my mind. Maybe, this was going to be fine, right?

When I got ready to go into the car, I saw my father waiting outside while my mother walked slowly down the stairs. We didn’t live that far from our local church, but my parents always insisted on walking together like a family. I never understood that, even now as an adult.

I was finally at the place where I feared, the hall. Everyone was walking in, chatting to one and another while I sat alone. Seeing how “lonely” I looked according to my mother, as she was chatting to one of my childhood friends, she introduced me to him, causing me to awkwardly wave my hand as the both of them stared in my direction.

I’ve been an adult for some time now, and even listening to the pastor speaking felt like a bore. But then, he stared at me — and we locked eyes for a whole second before turning back to the crowd, and the service suddenly got somewhat interesting. He seemed happier now that I was here, which felt sweet on its own but weird. How did he know who I was even though I was 10 when I last saw him?

My mind was puzzling in my head, and before I could even process what just happened, the church was over. I didn’t even realise the time until my mother tapped me on the shoulder for food.

I sat down at a table alone, not wanting to sit next to my parents. I had a plate full of rice, bulgogi and kimchi, and ate slowly but steadily. As I was just forgetting about what just happened, I saw Pastor Y/N walking towards me. My eyes widened, and I was still in shock by the time he reached me.

“Is this seat free?” He asked. I shook my head and he sat by me. He still had the same scent 10 years later. He hasn’t even changed a thing at all! As a matter of fact, he looked even better!

“Kibum… you’ve grown so much! I’m so glad you decided to come by today!” He seemed polite in nature, and didn’t seem to have any malicious intentions. I mean, it was normal for him to go up to people and speak to them.

But then, the incident started playing in my head. I stood as still as a rock, looking down so he couldn’t see me. I wanted to ask but was nervous. What if he wasn’t the same guy anymore? Surely he could do me one last time…

“Hey, Kibum… can I invite you to dinner tomorrow?” I quickly agreed, nothing trying to take time to think about what I was getting myself into.

Tomorrow felt like a breeze, I didn’t even remember what I did when I was going home. I did remember my mother pulling me into a corner away from my father just to ask me if Pastor Y/N did anything to me. I kept quiet, shaking my head as I looked back at Mother to see if my answer was verified.

“I saw him chatting to you today. He told me he misses you after all these years, and wants to see you in Church more. He could help you build your relationship with God again.” I tried not to roll my eyes for the 8th time, but I wanted to keep the lies going… unless I wasn’t.

I was invited to come for dinner at Pastor Y/N’s. I knew it was something I didn’t want to share with my parents, as I knew that it would come with something more than just two consenting adults meeting in a house.

That very night, I made sure to buy some condoms and lube to bring with me in case anything escalated. I planned out an outfit that seemed masculine enough so he wouldn’t raise an eyebrow at me — even though I was sure that he knew for a fact that I was not a heterosexual man.

I fell asleep, seeing the man that I always dreamed of being close to — but was unsure how to feel about it. As an adult, I felt like a kid again. He held my hand like he was crossing the road, reminding me to look both ways before walking. I saw the road form around me, seeing each sparkle and star create the world around us, seeing familiar people appearing one by one.

It was then that I was brought into the Church, people were singing while praying at the same time. There were too many people, so Pastor Y/N took me backstage where the changing rooms were. At that point, my heart started pounding. This was the moment that it happened, his hand landed on my thighs so he could stroke them. His hands were rough and scratchy, they were also huge enough to cover the whole diameter of my legs from my thighs to my ankles.

My dress pants were pulled down, revealing bright blue underwear with thunderbolts on them. I’d thought he would stop right there, but he continued on and removed the very thing that was hiding my genital area. Everything was a blur after that, having my head facing the wall and feeling the action happening from my rear end.

I woke up almost feeling like I wanted to cry, so I lay there at 5 am while waiting for me to fall back to sleep. I then felt something hard underneath my pants, which meant that I had a wet dream as well.

This was how it was for over a decade. I get flashback dreams, I wake up crying, I get hard, I masturbate, I fall back to sleep. It never failed me. It remained the same ever since. I wasn’t sure if it was because of how I process things, but everyone that I told was quick to say how unnatural it was for me to act the way I did.

I woke up with my pants still down, unable to recall what happened last night. I got into the shower, thinking about everything I wanted to say to that man. My stomach was growling like I was hungry, but deep down inside I was a nervous wreck.

I had to awkwardly eat breakfast with my parents since my mother filled out the whole table with all sorts of fruits, a tray for the tea set and some other drinks, and bread with some sandwich toppings on another tray. All the trays that were displayed made it seem like there was way more stuff than expected. I rarely ate — only trying to take as little as possible so I could excuse myself into my room to get ready.

I sat in my room, waiting for his name to pop up on my phone. He gave me the green light, prompting me to get dressed and walk out of the house. It was noon and my parents were a bit concerned as to why I was leaving at this time. I thought of a quick lie of me walking around my childhood city as an excuse and they accepted it — surprisingly.

I ran off, walking towards a train station that would lead me to his place. He called me a couple of times to ask me if I was coming, but I was underground and had to wait until I arrived to reply to him. He picked me up at the train station, pulling me into a warm embrace which felt imitated.

“Kibum… how have you been doing? Was the journey alright?” He said in his soft voice, possibly softer than he was at the church the day before. He held my hand as we walked out of the station, walking towards what seemed to be his neighbourhood. He lived in a nice little penthouse that seemed small, but it had all the view he could have.

We entered from the entrance, before going onto the lift to the very top. He unlocked his door, opening it to showcase a very warm atmosphere that I could get at any pub or restaurant. Everywhere seemed neat but messy at the same time, while also looking expensive looking. It was a sight I didn’t want to miss, especially with the fact that every single glance was something worth noting, like the gramophone sitting at the corner of the room.

“Make yourself at home, Kibum.” He patted the couch, indicating him asking me to sit down. I eventually did, while he was searching around the room for something catching up to our conversation. “So Kibum… tell me what you have been doing ever since you left Church.”

“Well…” I started. “I moved out and so I couldn’t afford to come all the way here.” I went with the conversation, knowing that he was going to say something very cliche.

“Kibum…” He stopped what he was doing to sit next to me, with his hands on mine while they were on my lap. “Listen to me… Jesus will always love you, regardless of that.”

I didn’t know if I wanted to continue with that talk, yet it was my fault for agreeing to go to a literal pastor’s house. Sure I didn’t want to go through a whole lecture on how God is good and great for the millionth time, but a part of me just wants to see what would happen… between us.

“I always felt like I had to go every Sunday… but the moment I couldn’t… I feel fake.” I lied, even giving him the puppy eyes that I mastered since I was a kid.

“Kibum, don’t say that…” I felt his hand on my back, the adrenaline of the conversation was causing me to go on and keep the lie going. “I always knew your love for Jesus is real, even since you were a boy.”

He was starting to get close to me, having his other hand stroking my crotch area. I was horrified, but I was also excited that I was going to get with Pastor Y/N again after all these years of craving for his touch.

“Kibum…” He was checking me off through my clothes, and I could see a small spark in his eyes. He saw something that he was looking for, and that was me. My young body that he wanted to use again. “…Please… may I pray for you?”

Suddenly, my mind went blank, unsure how to feel or to respond. Was he going to use me again, or was this bait created by my imagination which was so desperate that I generated my suffering by my thoughts?

After all the thoughts that ran through my mind, I agreed, holding both of my hands while we faced each other. His eyes closed, and so did mine. This used to be my everything as a child, being able to picture God clearly with his white-washed face and his gown. Nowadays, I see nothing. It was impossible to convince myself to see otherwise.

“Father in heaven, I thank you for being brother Kibum back into the Church.“ He started praying, in which he started becoming more preachy as every sentence occurred.

I felt his every nudge, every poke, and all the attempts he made to touch me in any way or form. He even managed to place his hand on my thighs while it was spread apart, causing me to be unable to close it.

He was getting deep into his prayer, and I was feeling slightly uncomfortable, but excited at the same time. This was what I was waiting for, or at least that was what I thought I needed. I wasn’t sure how to feel. Did I accomplish anything? Did I make things worse? Oh god… did I make anything worse?

But then… he slipped his hand under my pants, and all those thoughts left my mind.

It was just pure… silence. I was horny, I needed this, and I wanted this. It was exactly what I was looking for at this very moment… someone using me for their benefit. That was my guilty pleasure.

“Wow… your penis barely has changed!” Pastor Y/N went close to me, and I gulped as loudly as I felt like a cartoon character. I could feel that lust in his eyes, doing something that he shouldn’t have.

Then… his lips touched mine. There was no noise, just the sound of smooches and hums in between. He laid me down on the couch, kissing me more like I was a drug. He wasn’t afraid to use his tongue, which made him look attractive to me.

He pulled out, looking directly at me. “I know you’re a homosexual, Kibum.” That threw me off guard, but I owned my identity, so I claimed it as it was. He told me that we could pray again later, but he wanted to feel my gorgeous boy body.

Boy body…? What does he mean by that? Why would he exclaim that my body was one of a boy? Could it be that he still sees me as the kid he used? Either way, my vision of myself was still that young me, but with more clarity and less confusion. With my big age, I would’ve learned how to say stop. Nonetheless, it has been locked away in a treasure chest, and thrown out the window.

I didn’t feel a single guilt throughout all of it. He kept stripping off my clothes, showing my bare body to him, feeling our skin against each other’s. I knew it was Pastor Y/N, but a part of me was starting to gain some sort of attraction to him.

It was like… he wasn’t a Pastor to me… he was a childhood crush.

“Mmm yes… You’ve always been such a good boy…” He caressed my cheeks, while I felt his finger rubbing the lip of my anus.

“I’ll go and get the lube… I’ll be right back.” He kisses me on the forehead, before walking away to his room. I looked down to see my clothes on the floor, including my boxers that I had worn when it happened to me. I kept it after all this time since no matter how many times I tried to wash them, it still smelt like him…

Wait… why did I decide that this was a good idea? I mean, I knew I needed to get over it eventually, but was I doing too much?

It was a line that I didn’t know existed — at least for me anyway. I didn’t see a problem having sex with Pastor Y/N. In fact, it was my dream to have sex with him as an adult now that I know what he has done to me. Unfortunately for me, the fear and guilt came back to bite me in the ass, and now I was unsure of what would be the right choice for me. I felt like a mom nagging to myself and hating it because I had to wash the dishes.

Well, I already went this far so it would be far too late for me to give it up and go home. The least I could do would be to suck his cock and call it a day.

“Kibum, do you want to come to the bedroom?” He called me, to which I immediately complied regardless of any prior thoughts. I walked over to his room, where I saw a very neat room with a comfortable-looking bed and antique-looking pieces of furniture with fake plants around them.

“Come and sit here! I won’t hurt you!” My body began to vibrate, but was unsure whether it was a bad thing or not. But either way, I crawled over to him, with my butt facing him. I could tell it aroused him since he would open my butt cheeks so he would lick me there. Or… at least he would’ve due to my butt plug was in the way.

“I see you’re prepared for me, Kibum! Should I remove that for you?” I nodded my head quickly, and he did what he needed to do. He slowly pulled out my plug, in which I felt everything from the stretching to the rubbing on my prostate. When it was out, I could feel cold air going inside. That stopped when he put his warm fingers inside of me.

It… did feel good, and the way he was very gentle with me this time made me convinced that he might be in love with me. From the way he would lick me, to the type of treatment he was giving me. I knew that it wasn’t something that I wanted to take away from myself.

It was time for him to go inside me, and I opted to go into a missionary position so I could see him the whole time. My legs had to go all the way up to my shoulders, but it was still enjoyable. The moment he went inside, my moans started. He still felt very big inside, just like how it was before. The way he grabbed my legs when he wanted to go faster was something that was unexplainable.

“Mmm… you’re so amazing, Kibum. You’re so tight… you’ve always been tight… that amazing boy hole…” I didn’t take notice of what he said, but the way he gave me praise overpowered any outright creepy comment he might’ve said during the session.

His grunts were something I’d hear in a hentai. If anyone heard him for the first time, they would’ve assumed that he was a toxic top, when he was really a nice person who looked out for his bottoms. Meanwhile, I sounded like I was meowing. My voice may go from low to high, slow to fast, and quiet to loud very quickly. I could also be overstimulated, so curling into a ball would be something I’d do. A typical bottom.

The way he thrusts inside was something I could explain in detail. I could feel it every time he went deep, so much that we grunted at the same time. But when he goes faster, that would be when we go out of sync and I get crazier.

“Ahhh yes… your moans are so cute, Kibum…” I just love it when he says his name. It would always gives me goosebumps whenever he reminds me of my presence and how much it drives him insane.

I want this feeling to last forever, and I want it to be with him. He seemed so into me, that I forget about everything that happened before that very moment. It felt like this was a hookup date and that I met him on a gay dating app. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if he has been on there for at least once. And even if he had sex with other boys like me, somehow he realised that I was the boy he needed.

He needed me more than anything. And I wanted him too.

“Yes…yes… I’m about to cum…” I begged him to place his manhood in my mouth, and he did just that. His white juices went all over my face while some went into my mouth.

He laid me down onto the bed, making me relax beside him. He was still cuddling me while he went soft. He kissed me on the cheek, before falling asleep. I glanced around the room like a lost child, and my sense of my mind slowly started coming back. A part of me couldn’t believe I agreed to have sex with Pastor Y/N, while at the same time, I was glad I did.

I don’t know… but I’d say that it was this strange feeling that always gets to me whenever I look back at this very moment.

—

dividers by @cafekitsune

[dappledpaintbrush]

If it becomes more than a dream, what do you think a Super Paper Mario movie would be like?

Please write down everything you have to say, it doesn't matter if it's a 100 page essay I would like to read it.

When I finally get not only yapping permission, but also yapping endorsement

I think about the SPM movie a LOT. Not because I think it’s going to happen but because I’m insane. I also think it works better as a show, but I always must migrate to thinking of it as a movie lol. I talk a lot I’m gonna divide my thoughts into sections (Again, I’m turning off reblogs because reblogging an ask gets rid of the read-more, I’m sorry!! It’s for the best LMAO)

Rating:

I would LOVE if they addressed it like the FNAF movie. I remember people talking about how “oh it’s gonna be for kids because it’s a kid’s franchise and they’re gonna make more money if they made it for kids” but they made it PG-13 and. Everything was fine. They made a shit ton of money and everything was fine. Point is, I think SPM would work best as a PG-13 movie. And yeah it sounds like that one clip of SpongeBob and Patrick screaming in terror on a baby rollercoaster, but SPM does have elements that would be Difficult to put in a movie format and still make it rated PG. With the game, it can be passed off as cartoon mischief and thus be E for everyone, sure, but in a movie? I don’t see it. And let me clarify- I know they could make the hypothetical SPM movie be rated PG and still have its original plot, but I believe that is only if they cut down on a lot of things and make it very goofy and overall remove the heart of the story. But do I think it would be fucking PEAK as a PG-13 movie? Hell yeah. They could have a lot more leg-room to truly pay homage to the game, which is known as one of Mario’s darker stories for a good reason.

But do I believe they would make it PG-13? No. Definitely PG. Again, I know this is a Mario game and it’s not some super evil sick twisted story oh my god cover your eyes little timmy blah blah blah, but STILL. Pulling off some of its core scenes on the big screen where there’s SO much more detail in the animation and the voice acting etc etc etc would be hard to accomplish without making said scenes less impactful or even shallow. And if you still think I’m being dramatic, the mario movie is rated PG. The Mario movie. And all Mario did was get punched and got a bruise on his eye. I’m sure if there was a storyboard scene of him, Luigi, Bowser, and Peach getting set on fire and going to the afterlife, it would have been SCRAPPED. OR, it would have absolutely no emotion other than “erm… THAT just happened!” Take your pick.

All in all, if it were to happen, the SPM movie will lose some things. Nintendo would NEVER allow Mario to be in an PG-13 movie. It’s unfortunate :(

Speaking of the Afterlife:

Nintendo will have to cut out the Underwhere, Overthere, Grambi, and maybe even Luvbi and Bonechill. OR, completely revamp that whole thing to make it as religiously ambiguous as possible. No fucking doubt about it. At ALL. I can already see the change.org petition run by a Christian mother screaming at Nintendo for blaspheming God and making a joke out of heaven and hell “which are very real and you’re teaching kids it’s some silly fake thing in a fake Mario movie BUT NO PEOPLE HAS TO KNOW THEY WILL BURN FOREVER IF THEY DONT OBEY!!!” (Note: just in case it wasn’t obvious, I am mocking the Christian mother in the quotation marks). I’m surprised Nintendo even got away with it in the first place, ESPECIALLY regarding Luvbi and Bonechill. I put “maybe” regarding those two because it’s likely 2 and 2 won’t be put together about who inspired their characters, but at the same time. It probably will. Yeah it definitely will

Bonechill is directly inspired by Satan, and Luvbi makes indirect references to Jesus. Regarding Bonechill, to quote from his Wiki:

“Tippi's tattle says that Bonechill may have once been a Nimbi, which is supported by the fact that he has feathered wings on his back. This fits into the overall motif of The Underwhere and The Overthere, which draw heavily from both Ancient Greek mythology and the Christian religion. In particular, the concept of a fallen angel (Nimbi) is inspired by the Biblical story of Lucifer, who became the devil after betraying God. Furthermore, in Dante's Inferno (of the epic Italian poem, the Divine Comedy), Lucifer (now known as Satan) is depicted as a giant, six-winged beast imprisoned in ice in the deepest circle of Hell. This is all paralleled by how Bonechill has six wings, was imprisoned deep below the Underwhere, and is a self-styled "master of the cold dark" who uses ice breath to attack and is "something of an evil celebrity in certain circles of the Underwhere". Similarly, his being released during an apocalyptic event (the emergence of The Void) may be derived from the Book of Revelation, where Satan escapes from hell and he and his army are battled and defeated in heaven.”

Do you see that shit. Do you think Nintendo would risk doing this in a movie, let alone ever again in any game?The backlash would be INSANE. And they could easily call Luvbi a blasphemous mockery of Jesus because she sacrificed herself to save the world, AND CAME BACK LATER😭😭😭😭😭

Anyways, yeah. In the SPM movie, that whole chapter of the game is what’s going to be changed the most. It likely will be solely based off Greek mythology with no Christian themes involved. Or even LESS than that if they’re too scared. God I wish they weren’t. That chapter is one of my favorites in the whole game (mostly bc it’s crazy to me how Nintendo didn’t chicken out of making it), and it sucks so bad to know it’ll likely be almost nonexistent if the SPM movie were to happen.

Run-Time:

This game is. Long.

In my perfect world, I like to think of it as one big grand movie and it’s the longest animated movie ever made and it’s animated by Dreamworks in the style of Puss in Boots: The Last Wish and it has 5/5 stars and critics are crying and screaming of joy and everybody who clowned on this game has personally showed up to my door to apologize for their wrongdoing and beg for my forgiveness. But unfortunately we can’t have everything we want

I don’t think they will cut out any of the dimensions, I just think that most side plots will be rushed through like a montage :/ It’s why I think it will work best as a series. Every episode could be dedicated to a Dimensional Door. But that also means it’ll likely have less of a budget which sucks

Blumiere and Dimentio:

Something will have to change.

First of all, Blumiere. I don’t exactly know HOW, but they will have to change about his story. The game itself has already gotten criticized for “romanticizing a toxic relationship” between Blumiere and Timpani, and that criticism will be MAGNIFIED with a blockbuster film. Again, I don’t know how the will do it, but they’ll have to adjust that plot to please the masses more than likely. It fucking sucks. But this is modern Nintendo. They are going to go the safest route possible.

That’s not the only thing regarding Blumiere that will have change. Yk how the game also gets criticized for giving Blumiere a happy ending but not Dimentio despite the fact that, regardless of their motivations, they both tried to kill everyone? That criticism will also be magnified with the release of a movie. They’ll have to modify the story to make Blumiere’s actions significantly less evil than Dimentio’s, which could be accomplished through making it so that Blumiere is mind-controlled by the Dark Prognosticus. OR, they’ll have to give Dimentio a happy ending too, whether that be he survives and changes his ways (BOOOOO🍅🍅🍅), or he also gets the “he’s alive somewhere” treatment like Blumiere and Timpani did. However, in order to accomplish that successfully with an audience of five years olds, they’ll have to directly talk about Dimentio’s own tragic backstory with as much weight as they do Blumiere’s. And l. Don’t see that happening. It would be absolutely CRAZY if it did and I would probably pass out in the theatre if we got to see the Pixl Creator, but yeah, it’s unlikely.

Mr. L:

Some good news! I see them making Mr. L recognizable

They probably won’t.

BUT THEY LIKELY WILL

In the first movie, Mario and Luigi’s bond was shown in ways they have rarely done before. Their love and care for one another is clearly shown, not just “that’s my brother Luigi wahoo!” or something. I mean come on, think of the hug scene. And you mean to tell me in the 2nd or 3rd or idk movie, Mario can’t recognize him with a blindfold on? Be serious

In a game, yeah haha funny gag, but in a movie, it’ll be met with more annoyance than anything and it’ll be really disingenuous, and it already does get that criticism in the game where it’s arguably “more acceptable.”

Conclusion:

There’s a lot more that can be discussed, but this is all I’ve put a significant lot of thought into about what I think the SPM movie would be like if I thought about it realistically. Basically, if it’s gonna truly be an SPM movie, Nintendo’s gonna have to grow a backbone. But even then, I still think it would be a great movie, especially in the eyes of those who haven’t played the game and thus don’t have the same “ARGHH BUT YOU FORGOT FLIP-FOLK NUMBER FORTY TWO” mentality that I have LMAO. And even THEN, I still think it would be a great movie. Nintendo will just have to be reaaaally careful to adapt to the limitations (that they put on themselves 💀) and still make it a movie about Super Paper Mario.

[snickerzanddoodlez]

SNICKERDOODLEZ TALKS ABOUT BEING A CHRISTIAN, AND “BRO WHAT HAPPENED?? JESUS WAS JESUS AND YALL ARE SO MUCH LESS CHILL THAN HIM. CALM DOWN”

So uhhhh fun fact!! I’m a Christian!! Who hates how so many Christians act nowadays!!

First off: Can we normalize like…asking questions?? Without being seen as disrespectful? Like there’s a difference between “UGH WHYYYY” and “why?” but like….questioning commands we’re given and questioning belief systems.

Like why are we trying to stigmatize questioning authority?? No, normalize questioning authority

As well as this, I feel like it’s a big stereotype that religious people hate when you question their religion, and like- in a disrespect way? Yeah. Fair- but as a Christian like….no!!! Question your belief system!! Question what you’re taught! I’ve had the pleasure of being surrounded by lovely people who are more than eager to answer questions and admit when they don’t know something! Heck, so many times they go research it themselves so that they can come back to me like “HEY that was a good question here’s what I found!!”- like- THEY ENCOURAGE ASKING QUESTIONS

MY BIBLE TEACHERS ARE ALWAYS LIKE “YES THANK YOU QUESTIONS ARE GOOD.” Half of our Bible classes are debates. It’s awesome. My current Bible teacher- first of all, a sarcastic king. We love him. He’s an icon- HE LIKE- TRIES TO DISPROVE EVERYTHING WE PUT FORWARD SO WE QUESTION THINGS.

DO THAT!!! Questioning my faith has only ever made it stronger!

And also just like- generally respect people? Like, yeah, some people are going to have SPICY opinions…but like…I don’t care what your political leaning or religious views are or whether you like pineapple on pizza!!! Respect people!! Respect their opinions!! (AS LONG AS THIS OPINION IS NOT HURTING ANYONE…like, I’m sorry, but we do not condone p3d0phillia in this Good Christian Minecraft Server™)

Like, so many Christians are like “OMG!!! WHY R U WEARING THAT!! UR GOING TO HELL >:C” when like- boy no that’s not what the Bible says at ALL where the frick did you get that from??? Yunno Paul?? Yunno everyone else in the Bible??? Calm down, I know my ankles are sexy but that’s no reason to yell

JESUS SPECIFICALLY SOUGHT OUT PEOPLE THAT SOCIETY HATED, BECAUSE HE LOVES EVERYONE??? BRO “TREAT YOUR NEIGHBOR THE WAY YOU WANT TO BE TREATED”- I COULD BE WRONG BUT ISNT THAT FROM THE BIBLE?? BRO WHAT ARE YALL DOING smh where are you WWJD bracelets 😔 ALSO HOW DID WE GET TO THE POINT WHERE RACISM IS ASSOCIATED WITH CHRISTIANITY. LIKE BROS WHAT DID YOU DO. WHAT. JESUS LEAVES FOR TEN MINUTES AND NOW WE RACIST??? BROSKIS

Anyways, uh- ask questions! Normalize that! Do your own research! Also like- stop being so judgy, Christians. Jesus was like a chill guy, I think we forget that?? He was super sarcastic sometimes, he answered people’s questions, he was like the most humble guy in history- so Christians, even God is more chill than you. Broskis. My mans.

Can we chill? Let’s chill.

👍

Question authority love your neighbor respect others byeeeeeeeeeee

-sincerely, a fantasy-loving neuro-divergent recovering-from-clinical-depression Christian :]

[dumpsterfirepropaganda]

Okay actually y’know what? I’ve been waiting for an excuse to do this and I have some time to kill, permit me to vomit some unedited blathering all over the screen about my ROCK/METAL/ADJACENT GENRES music journey because I love to gab about it. There’s gonna be some chat about religious music but I promise this ain’t a religious post - I just think it’s fun to look at the bands that shaped my interests and led me to what I listen to today (and it’s very funny to me to see my amateur sloppy journey through bands I think most people already knew about wayyy before my oblivious little self stumbled across them). Walk with me boss let’s talk

So some crucial context right off the bat: up until my late teens I was not aware that music was something I could Discover and Buy on my own. But my parents had a pretty big (~50-100) CD collection, so that was my main source of new music for almost all of my childhood.

What is unique about this CD collection is that I think almost 100% of it was late 90’s / early 2000’s Christian music. So my introduction to most genres was through that specific “genre” (there is an argument to be made that “Christian” is a theme not a genre. Which I will make. But not in this post.). Pop? Rock? Rap? Heck, ska? I heard it Jesus-style first. Classic Newsboys and Jars of Clay and David Crowder were on pretty much 24/7. But in terms of rock, we didn’t have any of the big bands I think most people, religious or no, are familiar with—like Flyleaf, Skillet, Red, Disciple, etc. Instead, my teeth were cut on one specific band called D.C. Talk.

If you grew up in a Christian household during the early 2000’s you’re probably hearing the song I’m about to reference in your head right now. If you didn’t, you most likely have never heard of D.C. Talk. But these guys were responsible for what my little child brain thought was the HARDEST song I had ever heard: a lil’ jam called Jesus Freak.

I’m going to be providing links to example songs throughout this post so that you can sample my journey with me, so this brings us to the first:

If you’re not religious (and even if you are), this song is probably pretty cringe. Compared to what I know now, the fact that baby me thought this song was hard at all is pretty laughable. But it was the anthem of my childhood. I’m honestly so curious how other people who didn’t grow up with the song perceive it because it’s SO entrenched in my mind as The Song growing up, to the point that I don’t think I could be fully objective about it no matter how hard I tried.

Anyway, I thought that was cool, took in the rest of the album, and then ditched rock as a genre completely to listen to EDM and Vocaloid and anime thumbnail nightcore covers for the rest of my teenage years like any good DeviantART kid. And I didn’t come back to the genre in any meaningful way until January the Year Of Our Lord 2023. (Yes I know that was just last year. Up until 2022 I did not have time to explore new interests because I was busy getting a Bachelor’s of Science, I was listening almost exclusively to video game OSTs and doing chemistry homework and Stressing™️).

The reason I remember the month and year of the turning point so specifically is because, over the New Year holiday, my family and I sat down to watch a documentary called Jesus Music that traced the history of Contemporary Christian Music. It was pretty interesting—D.C. Talk was a pretty big part of the story, as well as a bunch of other bands and artists I’d grown up with—but one band in particular jumped to my attention: Stryper.

Now I didn’t bother to do any research for this post but as best as I remember it, Stryper is a Christian metal band that was a bit controversial in its heyday for hanging on to the classic 80’s metal aesthetic and sound during a period where the prevailing Christian attitude was “Rock Is The Devil’s Music,” satanic panic etc etc. I remembered my mom saying she really enjoyed them during her 20’s, so I decided to check them out—and, while they weren’t really my thing, I fucked with their yellow-and-black outfits pretty heavy and thought they were at the very least a lot of fun:

I’d just caved and signed up for a Spotify Premium subscription around this time, so I started a Stryper radio, juuuust to see if I would maybe warm up to them. And that was where the turning point was. Because it was on the Stryper radio that I discovered the first metal band I REALLY liked: Theocracy. (Yes, we’re still in Christian music lmao, bear with me, we’re about to take a HARD left turn.)

Theocracy was specifically my introduction to power metal, and damn I fell for them hook, line, and sinker. It’s hard to explain what their music did to me because I’m so aware now how basic the experiences I had with them are, but I had never had my brains totally blown by a guitar run before, or felt myself totally swept up by the music before, even to the point of tears—like DAMN, they know how to write a chorus that will CARRY you. Or maybe that’s bias talking again lol, but Theocracy was a discovery that felt very uniquely mine, and it will always hold a very special place in my heart. It was so hard to pick just one song to use as an example but I had to go with one of the first ones I ever heard:

Getting into Theocracy put me in the way of a few other religious metal bands I really liked: Narnia, Saviour Machine, Within Silence, Harmony, etc.

So where did this lead me next?

Now, Mindless Self Indulgence has its issues, and I don’t generally like to tout them because of it, but I can genuinely say that nobody does it like they did it. And somehow, the guitar shredding Theocracy did and the manic electropunk wildness of MSI somehow struck the same chord in my brain, despite the two bands probably being the absolute furthest thing from one another in terms of subject matter (from I Am to Fuck Machine, anyone?). And again, this was something I had discovered all on my own—I think I heard a snippet of Never Wanted To Dance on a flipnote compilation back in 2013, but aside from that they were wayyy off my radar until I stumbled across them again in my quest for more jams. But this was CERTAINLY a step up from my previous interests in terms of energy, which led almost directly into the next “discovery” on my list:

Yeah, I found out about this because of the TikTok trend (indirectly, because that’s how a close friend of mind discovered it, and she shared it with me). But BOY OH BOY did it take me by the throat and shove me bodily through the next month and a half. Slipknot songs are very hit or miss for me, but as I poked into their discography I found quite a few songs that would become a permanent part of my rotation (Duality, Wait and Bleed, Before I Forget, Psychosocial, to name the favs).

By now you’re probably getting the impression that I was very sheltered, and I want to make it clear that I wasn’t really (although relatively speaking maybe I was)—but seriously, I was also just REALLY unadventurous growing up. And to an extent I still am: I’m quick to settle in an interest and not look around for more. I like listening to the same songs over again and playing the same video games over and over and watching the same movies and reading the same books a billion times. So every step of this journey has been very slow, but also very exciting, because everything feels like such a big discovery.

Anyway, Slipknot radio inevitably led me to Disturbed and Drowning Pool and System of a Down and then adjacently to Three Day’s Grace (HERE’S where I actually started listening to Skillet as well, full circle lmao), and that led me to the subject of my last post, that being Linkin Park.

Now we’ve fully pivoted from angry raucous screamo rock to angsty sad alt, but this was just as captivating to me in a different way. I’d heard plenty of clips of Linkin Park songs before because our generation has meme’d their hits half to death, but I’d never really listened to them seriously, and I was surprised by how much I really, really liked them. It’s not often I’ll listen to an album start to finish multiple times, but I’ve done so for both Meteora and Hybrid Theory multiple times this past month alone, and I can see the same being true for much of the near future.

I’ve left out a lot of stray bands and artists I’ve picked up along the way (Blue Stahli [thanks friend 😈], Upchuck, Rabbit Junk, and like one or two Falling In Reverse and Green Day songs), and I haven’t talked at ALL about my adjacent hip-hop/rap journey but these have been the main touchstones of my journey thus far. Maybe it’s nothing to write home about but I’ve always wanted to document it because I never could’ve predicted where I would’ve ended up, or what will come next. There’s just something fun about putting down my personal history in terms of an interest like this (even if it will inevitably expose me as a massive music noob. I don’t care. I’m having fun lmao.)

If you’ve made it to the end of this, I don’t really have much of a conclusion except thank you for journeying with me through these ramblings. I’d really love to hear other people’s music journeys. I think it would be really fun to share reflections like this. I’m thinking I might vomit out another stream of consciousness like this in the future, probably about how I got into Mega Man ZX - because DAMN is that quite the circuitous journey and another story I’ve been dying to tell.

anyway tl;dr Jesus music got me into Custer!!! I love you D.C. Talk!

goodnight tristate area

[papirouge]

What are your views on Catholics or very traditional Catholics? I’ve spoken with one guy who was and he believed that even women shouldn’t work and called it unbiblical. I mentioned the various women in the Bible that had businesses and worked but he didn’t really get it. I don’t get their animosity towards jobs too.

Because I’m poor and I’ve always had to work and women in my family never had money, we always had to work. Eventually I got him to admit that poor women should work (for no pay too) for rich women who should stay home and make babies. He lived a very sheltered life I learned. He didn’t even understand how taxes worked or how much things cost because he was still being taken care of by his very wealthy parents. Both of his parents were doctors too 🙄 he never needed a job or to go to school but only went to party. I think honestly he isn’t really Christian, he just feels so insecure and inadequate next to women who are business owners and educated so he’s Catholic to feel important. Because his world views and how he feels the world be is so ignorant

But I don’t pity him at all because he let it slip out that women with no family or friends to care for them should be prostitutes for men because prostitutes existed in Jesus time. And he still had the audacity to ask me why he was still single. It’s bad when you learn that even those hardcore traditional pick me catholic girls don’t want you 🫥

I always said I vibed more with Catholic women than I do with non Catholic ones.

I don't think being "very traditional" is remotely relevant to your relationship with God, so "very religious catholic/Christian" doesn't mean anything imo. Jesus broke several times "traditions" and negatively caught the attention of pharisees so I think this whold "traditionalist Christianity " that's quite en vogue rn is one huge misinterpretation of what Christianity really is.

And you're right, the Bible never portrayed women working negatively so male traditionalists beefing against women in the workforce shows that their grievance has more to do with their incelness and drive to control women, than a genuine will to follow the Bible.

I'm absolutely not surprised he lived a sheltered life and probably didn't witness women in his family working. But you know what's funny? It's that those people never seemingly connect why the Bible puts so much emphasis in helping the widow and old women with the fact that those women were depending on men for their survival and happened to be financially vulnerable once alone (with kids). You can bet men like the one you're talking about would not accept financially helping them because cOmMunIsm or something like that. They wanna prevent women from working but also refuse to deal with the (financial) consequences of women not working... And they have the audacity to blame feminism when feminism is one of the reasons falling into poverty once your husband dies/leaves is not a fatality for women. On that aspect, feminism represents a net positive for women, and that's why I'll never be an "anti feminist". Men didn't wait feminism to be piece of shit and abusing women out of their financial vulnerability. There's a reason female hysteria or poisoning your husband for social liberation were a bigger deal back then. "Life was easier when women didn't work uwu" anti feminists should go back to 1845, and shut the fuck up at this point.

Him painting prostitution as an alternative for poor women closes the deal about how this man wasn't Christian anyway. Their mask always slips off. Those men don't want Catholic pick mes either because they get a thril caging "liberal" women. That's the exotic bird syndrome. That's why they love porn and all this degrading stuff. Have you noticed how those dumb conservatives rage bait content sound like porn video title "blue haired SJW lady gets DESTROYED by based maga Chad" or shit like that. TRA do the same with 'terf' as well. They are obsessed humiliating them. They even profess their weird porn fantasies raping them...

[wifelinkmtg]

HOT. CROSSBOW. AUTUMN.

We’re going back to Innistrad, and oh thank G-d Magic is horny again.

INNISTRAD: MIDNIGHT HUNT + CRIMSON VOW

Welcoming Vampire (art by Lorenzo Mastroianni)

Welcome, indeed, to you who have traveled far across the sanitized wastes of Zendikar, the milquetoast art direction of Kaldheim, the mediocrity of plane after plane: here is a feral place, and a bloody one, of slavering predators and racing pulses, a place where the primordial twins of fear and lust are impossible to sever. Enter here, ye thirsty, and be quenched.

Novice Occultist (art by Zara Alfonso)

Oh, we are off to a great start. This is not only one of the hottest girls in this set (and definitely the one with the best hair, jesus), but also everything about this moment makes me feel protective - the apprehension in her expression, the conjunction of the knife and the bandaged arm, the fact that she is evidently attempting some sort of amateur summoning ritual with a salt circle and several raw steaks, which let’s face it, is not going to end well. The interplay between that feeling, then, and the mechanics of the card, which doesn’t really do anything until she dies, so you want to sacrifice her to some other card, is very effective. Yes, she only exists to die doing something instructively ill-advised, but she’s vulnerable, sympathetic, and really, really hot, so you feel something when she does. Art and mechanics working together! This is the kind of thing that makes Magic special. 10/10 would do something occult and ill-advised in a barn with her any night.

Augur of Autumn (art by Billy Christian)

I don’t know, it’s like, am I over-intellectualizing this stuff? Like I see a beautiful woman and my immediate response is to interrogate the nature of my attraction to her, what’s going on there? [feather. antler. apple.] Shame, you think? Probably some of that, yeah, some internalized whatever or maybe just fear of the vulnerability that comes with saying desire out loud. Plus, I spent a lot of years back in the day reacting to bad experiences with kink & its practitioners by getting unnecessarily moralistic about sexuality. [acorn. bone. acorn.] Yes, very funny. But you’re right, subtlety is overrated, this whole project is just...publishing my desires (as entertainment, but still). Maybe I should only be writing this while pent-up and turned-on? Or maybe I should be more selective. Like, you’re lovely, and I really like that you seem to be a competent occultist, unlike my last, but I’m not feeling much beyond that. [bone. gem. feather.] I don’t... sorry, I don’t know what that means, could you - hang on, is that feather bloody? When did that oh my G-d I know what I need to do.

FOUR YEARS AGO

was when I reviewed the last Innistrad sets, Shadows over Innistrad and Eldritch Moon. And while I still retain my extremely justified bitterness over how that story fridged the hottest angel in Magic canon, I was definitely on some fucking brainrot at the time, like. Look at this bit from the intro:

Shadows over Innistrad block! but with none of the angels because Eldrazi corruption is viscerally distressing! no matter how many emotions i feel about Avacyn, the Purifier’s blood-soaked wings & solid black eyes! or Subjugator Angel’s vacant, fell glee!

You stupid child, me-of-January-2019, you idiot baby, you cretinous fetus, just because something is existentially horrifying doesn’t mean it’s not also really hot. What, were you worried about people thinking you were A Bad Feminist And Person because a fictional eldritch monster mindfucking a fictional girl angel into an insane blood-soaked omnicidal goth gets you hard? (Yes.) “Viscerally distressing” yeah, that’s what makes it good. It was hot, you knew it was hot, you even basically said it was hot, and yet you left the angels out of the review because you were a coward. Well, it is time to set things right.

ACTUALLY IT TURNS OUT THIS ONE IS INNISTRAD: MIND-CONTROLLED ANGELS WILL MURDER YOU AND IT WILL BE SEXY THE ENTIRE TIME

Subjugator Angel (art by Lius Lasahido)

It feels... so good to give in, doesn’t it? Whether that’s to the whispers in your head telling you to purify the land of filth and sin with fire and sword and no shred of mercy, or to the undertow pull of whatever part of your interior makes a bloodsoaked, winged woman with great tits and a shattered mind fucking sexy as hell. Free will can be such a weight, can’t it? Don’t you see how much happier she is like this, with no agonizing over moral complexity, no weighing and counterweighing relative measures of good and evil? It’s so much simpler, so much more fun to just kill everyone, don’t you think?

Angel of Deliverance (art by Joseph Meehan)

Well, looks like someone’s been elbow-deep in the sin-riddled bodies of reprobates and the dissolute, hm? What’s the matter, darling? Surely you’re not too tired for one more.

Archangel Avacyn (art by James Ryman)

Avacyn was created perfect, an icon, an idol, her sole purpose to safeguard the people of her plane - so it’s not really news that she’s gorgeous. We love the black armor and the black lipstick and the glowing eyes, but what really makes this good is the symbolism in the crumbling spear, the fraying edge of the loincloth. She is fighting a war for her mind, to keep hold of herself, of the only purpose she has ever had. And it is so much better when you fight...

Avacyn, the Purifier (art by James Ryman)

...because when you lose, when your mind’s defenses are subverted against you, when your last panicked thoughts try in vain to survive the ravenous onslaught of who you have become instead, when you are at last the monster you struggled in vain against, the collapse is absolute. Spear broken, clothes tattered, hair and wings soaked in the gore of your children, your victims, your slaughtered sheep, and your eyes jet-black, void, and utterly empty of anything that was ever you.

Gisela, the Broken Blade (art by Clint Cearley)

Mental corruption is one thing (a very, very hot thing), but let’s not forget physical corruption as well. Wings beginning to replace feathers with fleshy webs of tendon, tendrils creeping out of her shoulders. She changes. She changes.

Brisela, Voice of Nightmares (art by Clint Cearley)

She is changed.

Because honestly, why would you settle for one angelic abomination when you could melt two of them together and get disa-fucking-ssembled in ways undreamt of by Euclidean geometers or anything with bilateral symmetry?

Whew. Okay. Yeah. I really needed that. The rest of the newer Innistrad sets will happen soon. I promised you crossbows, and I aim to keep that promise.

[escapaldi]

Re, the latest US Supreme Court idiocy: I wish that every time a Bible-twisting cosplayer was handed the right to deny others theirs that the word Christian was not used to describe them. They are frankly incapable of even attempting to follow one of the most basic rules of Christianity (love thy neighbor) and are honestly just using the intangibility of faith to lie their way into the ability to be an asshole without repercussions. Not only that, but they are extremely un-American for wanting to enshrine these false beliefs into law and the Constitution, which increasingly blurs the line between Church and State that they only seem to bring up when they’re upset that they need to meet on Zoom or else they’re at significantly higher risk of catching a plague they refuse to be vaccinated against as though someone did not make that vaccine with their God-given talents. The Lord gave us people of all walks of life so that we may truly understand Him and instead people spit on it. Why would He give us LGBT+ folks if we weren’t meant to strive to figure out how to care for them and let them thrive in a society of love? They can love God just as much as any cishet person--possibly even more than, if you’ll allow--and to theoretically deny someone something as inconsequential as a wedding website? For being gay? It makes me want to SCREAM.

The fact this is coming on the tail end of Pride is not lost on anyone. I’m sure there’s plenty in my archdiocese who would call me a bad or cafeteria Catholic for thinking that LGBT+ folks shouldn’t be denied service based on “freedom of religion” or “freedom of speech”. Well, guess what? Not only is the Lord disappointed in how you treat other humans He made in His image, but the Founding Fathers are spinning in their graves because of how severely you misinterpreted those freedoms. It means the State can’t throw you in jail for being a Christian or a communist dissenter, ya fuckwit, not that you have free reign to be an asshole and not get called on it. And you refer to yourself as an Originalist? Ha! If you were an Originalist, then you’d know that the “Men” in “all Men are created equal” means “people” and that you’d have to acknowledge that women are part of “Men”. Because it’s capitalized. Like the difference between God and god. LGBT+ people are part of the race of Men. So are our Jewish and Islamic cousins in Abrahamic faith. So are our neighbors of varying other faiths and traditions. People who look different, talk different, experience things different, they are still Men. As in the synonym for human. And they’re all equal in their pursuit for Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness, which is something some people like to deny. A lot. Because they’re libertarian and hands-off-government unless it’s about people who don’t look and act and sound like them being given the same rights and treatment. They claim to be about defending families and traditional values and it’s, like, you’re pissing on real families. A family can be anything. By claiming to defend families and traditional values, what is being offered? Safe places and nurturing environments? No--it’s hate, pure and simple, against anything that doesn’t look like Leave It to Beaver and Father Knows Best.

So please, when reading the headlines today and in the future about the latest travesty that was allowed to happen because a sycophant stacked the court, remember that the greatest lie that mainstream media is knowingly spreading right now--and I’m a huge believer in mainstream press integrity--is that these people are Christians. Because they’re not. Jesus was a cool cat and this was not what He would have wanted. People doing bad shit in His name did not stop at the Crusades, but is a real and genuine problem within the Church and outside of it. If we can see it in sex abuse scandals and money laundering, then we should be able to see it when it comes to people denying the humanity and existence of their fellow Man. It’s there whenever people laud the denial of health care, the denial of legal rights, the denial of history... those are not Christians. Those are little more than weird LARPers attracted to power and the ability to say their word is God’s. Well, guess now’s the time to say that even the famous “papal infallibility” clause of Catholicism has loopholes, because as much as I like the Pope in general, he’s still a weird little old dude. He might have the clearest picture from the Lord, but he’s still human, and therefore is still capable of fcking shit up with a bad turn of phrase or reluctance to go all the way (and honestly, I’m not entirely unconvinced that he’s been avoiding an anti-pope all this time, because I feel like he’s been toeing that line from Day One and am surprised nothing’s been triggered yet). That’s why the conservative rightwing Catholics at least think they’re in the clear despite the fact that even with all his shortcomings, the current Pope sort of has one of the clearest heads in a long while, so oops too bad now stop shitting on the Pope.

In related news, Frankie’s supposed to be due to replace my archbishop sooner rather than later due to an age cap and I hope he can get one not as... tolerant of Christian nationalism and hate towards Men in there. That’d be nice to have, you know, LGBT+ outreach that isn’t underground.

[someone-give-me-a-hug]

update timeeee

Ello there guvnor! tis I! Huzzah! 

Yeah i dont know what that was either. hello hello! much better. it has been a little longer than expected to update but i wanted to wait until after my exams finished to give you a reply! 

first of all, i think I've only ever had a tomato once. my grandma gave me one and i felt too bad to say no after absolutely hating it. But hey maybe I’ll try it again! Beans however? well i could live off of beans on toast, which granted aren’t the beans you are probably on about but omg maybe its that British in me but beans on toast is an absolute banger of a meal (and was the first thing to come to mind after Bean Crock, which we eat in the winter, another classic).

To answer your very valid question about the number of exams i had, it was 21. 21 exams :) In all fairness exams sorted out my sleep schedule like a charm. i decided to get up at 6am everyday i had an exam so i could have breakfast and revise the content. which then meant i went to bed earlier (around 23:00) and slept like a log the whole night! the longest exam was 2 hours and 30 minutes. and let me tell you, i made a big fat mistake; i decided to take my friends advice and go through the paper backwards. what an oopsie that was. I ended up forgetting that the outside world even existed during that exam, it felt like lifetime! but honestly, oh well too late to change it now. 

We had a BAV (Beliefs and values) exam (3 actually, catholic christianity, judaism and then philosphy and ethic) becuase it’s required to learn. we needed to use a source of wisdom and authority in most answers and the one i mustve used a hundred times was ‘Love thy neighbour’. I’m also pretty sure I made a few up but hey ho it’s done now. 

It’s officially the summer holidays and school doesn’t start again until September so I’ve got so much time on my hands I have no clue what I’m gonna do! when I go back though I’m doing my Level 3 certifications (A-levels) in history, English lit and philosophy and ethics!

on the note of wildlife, there are so many birds in my garden it’s insane. I’m starting to think they’re building an army to come hunt me down and peck out my brains. although i doubt they eat brains, maybe I’ll have to stuff my pockets with seeds as a sacrifice. Also i had to search up what a bull moose was but oh good heavens THEY ARE HUGE!? I swear i’d literally cosplay Jesus and ascend to heaven if i saw one of them. I love the fact that you get to see wildlife, it’s so cool! I once got chased by a flock of geese and that was scary enough. I think geese talk to each other because they always seem to stare me down. Now listen, I may have a seriously moody resting face but come on! I just want to go about my day and here I am getting glared at by the most viscous bird ever. unfair if you ask me. 

Oh oh oh! about the tumble drier situation, I have been known to lack common sense at times. For example, when i start a task and don’t plan ahead. Imagine I’m baking something and as I wash up i haven't got out a tea- towel to dry my stuff. i will freeze like a moose in headlights (see what i did there? eheh funny). It’s like i have no issue remembering what the emergency quota act did during the red scare in USA history yet if something is missing or new my brain just grows legs and goes on holiday. 

In the words of my grandmother, if brains were made of dynamite i wouldn’t have enough to blow my cap off. 

Random thought I had the other day to finish off: the saying ‘Hold you horses’ comes from literally slowing down a horse. like ‘stop, slow down’ ‘Hold your horses!’. it has taken me an unbelievably long time to realise that. like what else was ti meant to mean?! I’m literally as thick as a plank of wood sometimes. 

Anyway, I hope you are well! I hope everything is good and that you’re good! 

Love ya! Little sib!

[jeekyl]

I wonder if the Christianism church and 1 millions “i’m bored with my life “ didn’t make a petition to pressure NEtflix into cancelling Warrior Nun

Halo Baerer, I just watch a podcast aboout 4 movie that was a scandal. 2 of two were religious, " The Last Temptation of Christ “ and “ The exorcist”. 

Now imagine for 1 second that the Christianism church along with 1 millions i’m a bored mom ( who hated everything that is LGBTQIA+, and is extremist catholic or christian whatever) made a complain and pressure Netflix into cancelling Warrior nun because “it’s a blasphemy”. 

- A dude who pretend to be an angel but turn out to be a demon, that use the bible’s plague as a mean to convert people into submission just to “demonize” them. - The pope being shown as heavily politic and corruptible.  - The main character being women heavily trained to fight demon and protect the halo, somethings that is basically shown as purely angelic.  - The halo bearer being compared as Jesus, and more. There was the implication that Jesus was human who got divine power ( the question was never finish and never answered) - The crown of thorn being the reason that Jesus died and not by divine plan. - The name Ava like a reminder of Eve. (Sound it out loudly). (Add to that the fact that Lilith was supposed to get the halo but Ava got it instead) - Everyone being heavily coded as LGBT.  - Man being worthless piece of garbage except for Michael, who has a mission of “ killing”/banishing Adriel - the demon - from existence. ( For those who don’t get it : the angel Michael, first class archangel who banish lucifer on the fucking earth) - All the cross. - Beatrice and Lilith  have rich parent who just send them in a boarding church, pretty sure there are other like them, except for Camilla. And both have so much trauma that a psychologist who just start practicing would be rich within a week -Lilith our favorite hybride mi angel mi demon. Do i have to say that In the bible and many book Lilith is Adam’s first wife but refuse to submit to him and wanted them to be equal ? Adam refuse so Lilith just pronounce god’s name and yeet herself far away from adam and is basically the mother of all demon ? yes ? ( i knew i had a good reason to love this fandom.) No ? it’s her story a bit shorten.  - The imagery that again put the image of Ava as Jesus. Along with all the church. - A nun in the orphanage being worst than the demon the first circle of hell ( which remind me a lot about those “angel maker”, nun who killed babies because they hated children but love money.) - Implying - more or less saying basically -  that the vatican is manipulating people and got power to be on the top with the power of a fucking demon. When you know they love to say that you’re going to hell if you don’t believe in Jesus or is LGBTQIA+.. yeah. I can’t think of other things but that is enough to piss off 1 million” my brain got stuck in my mother uterus” and the church. The fact that the church were able to pressure a whole industry to shut down a fucking movie just because it imply that Jesus was probably human, think about what they could do about a platform that is loosing money since the beginning of 2022 ( sorry guys), and got worst at the end of the years. A platform that keep insulting LGBTQIA+ people ( more Lesbians but let’s not fight amongst ourselves shall we?). That drive people insane with the bullshit they pull with straight shows and movie that no one like and is a fucking disaster but keep going on for some reason.  Warrior nun makes you question things. “ Who are we praying to ? Adriel is sucking our prayer”. It makes you wonder what is really going on in the vatican. Are some nun’s really evil ? Does such Ninja nun exist ? Are we surrounded by demon and the vatican knows it and don’t give a flying fuck ? How can we believe ? Lately i learn that agnostic believe that everything we call “ good” is actually Evil, the vatican, the priest, all the angel (when you look for bible accurate angel you.. yeah. it’s yeah.. it makes sense.). All of our belief is based on a lie and we are worshipping demon. I mean Lucifer did fall on earth so.. Take that as you will or want or don’t.  To say that Warrior nun is a show that makes you question your belief - belief not faith - in the vatican and that it could be based on the agnostic belief system is pretty believable. And that maybe it’s the reason the vatican/church/1 millions demon would try to push it down and far away from the public eyes ? Think abut the fact that Netflix hide it, didn’t promote it, literally ignore it just to cancelled it without any justifiable reason. They are losing money and it cost a lot to make ? who invested 20 millions just to bring Friends on the platform? Who keep making kissing booth when people didn’t like it the first time ? Emily i’m a bullshit in Paris that no one like and lot of French people hate with passion. How many other show/movie people can’t even bring themselves to start are being renew or keep going into it 2 or 3 movie ? It’s bullshit and they know it. Netflix is worldwide. I’m not from the US, i’m from Reunion island, a french island. where the platform is more restricted than France apparently for some reason, and i still pay for it. Who am i paying then ? Adriel ? Are they serious with this non sense ? Yeah no there’s more than that. And from now on i will blame the1 bastard from hell and the vatican’t until i have proof they didn’t know or didn’t do anything about it. 

[the-fiction-witch]

Dec 21st The Christmas Deal

Media pistol

Character Malcolm

Couple Malcolm X Reader

Rating kinda dark and sad + funny

21st of December 2022

I smiled widely as I worked on the little tree, making sure it looked pretty but also doing my best to make sure the children were happy, Joseph happily helped but adding things to the tree, little Bridget on my hip with a bauble in her hand enjoying its sweet sparkle.

I heard the keys in the door, "Ohh whos that?" I giggled 

"Papa!" Little Bridget giggled 

"Hi daddy" Joseph smiled as the door opened revealing Malcolm who dumped his keys in the pot beside the door and began slipping off his jacket 

"Hello, Malcolm. How was work?"

"Fine" he sighed coming through to the living room and giving josephs hair a tussle "Real son" and gave my cheek a kiss taking Bridget from me to give her a cuddle "Daughter. oh god what has happened to your head?"

"I braided her hair"

"why?"

"She wanted a little rapunzel plait didn't you darling" 

"Yeah!"

"Whatever" he sighed going and opening the window getting himself a cigarette "what are you doing anyway?'

"Putting up the tree."

"Really?"

"Course."

"Aren't you gonna help daddy?" Joseph asked

"No I am not."

"Why not papa?" Bridget whined

"Christmas is an overhyped over glorified cash cow only pushed so hard so companies make money. Linked with a coopted holiday in an attempt at religious reeducation"

"Malcolm" I warned

"No no. Let me do this" he says "Christmas is nothing. It started as a Roman feast to get pissed and cross dress. It didn't catch on too well in Europe given the pagan grasp on the area at the time, celebrating yule once again an excuse to go into the woods burn shit and get drunk, once Christianity came along it wasn't all peace, love and Goodwill no this was back when Christianity had some balls. Slaughtering Catholics and burning witches but given how widespread the various roots of paganism where people refused to part with the pagan parties so in a moment of corrupted genius they combined the birth of Christ with Yule. Knowone has any clue when Jesus was born let alone it having anything to do with a manger, they simply coopted the holiday and made the tradition of burning the biggest tree into lighting the tree with candles and sparkling things, people continued to get drunk as was the holidays main focus, at times drunk mobs would take over streets demanding the best foods and wines for grand stolen feasts. In fact Christmas was so disliked and had such a bad rap for drunken madness it was banned in various American colonies it's only after years of slow introduction all these symbols and festivities seeped into popular culture, but the whole idea from the tree, to lights, to the presents to simply the songs sung its all bullish with a horrible history that's been taken in by greedy stores and religious figures to demand conformity and make money. You imagine the kinda money from donations alone the church makes at Christmas, or how much money just from trees stores make. So excuse me if I want no part in your madness"

Bridget began to cry and Joseph sat on the floor teary eyed

"Malcolm. A word." I snapped putting Bridget down

"Why?" He asked and I didn't even speak I just grabbed his ear and janked him into the kitchen

"What the fuck!"

"What?"

"The fuck was that!"

"You know how I feel about this type of shit."

"Yeah I do. Doesn't mean you have to be a fucking cunt about it"

"What's your problems. I do the same for every holiday you've never had an issue before"

"Because Malcolm Christmas is different"

"Oh what you really doing this?"

"Malcolm. I don't give a shit. I had my happy holidays when I was little and honestly I think your kinda bang on with alot of the corruption of the industry but" I explained "Joseph and Bridget are kids."

"So? Let them learn while there young"

"Malcolm. Please." I told him "I don't ask for much. I accept we don't celebrate the holidays especially religious ones but please let the kids have Christmas. We both know Joseph hasn't had anything close to a normal life and likely never will. Neither will Bridget. But they love it just let them have it Malcolm please"

"..... Fine" he rolled his eyes

"Ummm thank you" I smiled hugging him closely "knowone said our Christmas had to be normal we'll make it special all our own"

"Alright. On one condition."

"What?"

"I get to make you an advent calendar"

".... okay."

"And whatever it says behind each door. You have to do for me."

"Fine"

"Yes!" He smirked "I know exactly what's coming on the twenty fifth!"

"You I assume."

"Yes."

"So we're agreed"

"Agreed"

"Good. Be nice." I remind as we headed back out to deal with the children. 

[faithfromanewperspective]

As an agnostic reading the gospels for the first time, I wanted to ask you a question because I find your approach to Christianity appealing How do you square the very immediately apocalyptic parts of Christ's message with the millennia that have passed since and what parts do they have in your relation to the faith?

hey anon! I love this question, thank you for reaching out! personally I have a really weird sense of time and so this really isn’t much of a problem in my head, but I’ll try my best :)

first of all, Jesus talks really metaphorically. he talks in stories, he doesn’t always explain them (to everyone at least) and as someone from a western background reading this who’s used to things being measurable and precise I think we need to get used to the fact that we are approaching a culture that is not our own, and adjust our expectations accordingly. I find thinking like this helps me to understand the rest of the bible too: while I’m open to a literal interpretation of revelation and all of genesis I also don’t think it’s incorrect to read them with my artistic brain instead and find meaning and themes rather than scientific fact (and as someone who’s studied evolution and also seen the devastating impacts of everyone who calls every person in power ever the antichrist and tries to wage war with them this is very useful). however, I do see the events of the gospels as literal, due to the genre of writing that they are. as for the things Jesus says, though, I believe we have a responsibility to be culturally sensitive and not assume things into his words that might be reading in too far. I don’t know exactly where you stand on the Precise Detail vs Artistic Vibe continuum compared to me, so to be clear I do take a lot of things literally like loving your neighbour, generosity etc, and to some extent the things he says to prove a point, like that it’d be better to cut off your hand than to use it to sin, specifically the sin of being a sexual predator though I know that’s not the only way that verse can be read. anyway, I’ve explained this hurriedly so I hope it makes sense? have a look into scientific knowledge vs indigenous knowledge if you want to explore this concept further, for me it was a really good way to question the ways I’m taught to think not in a ‘they’re wrong’ way, but a ‘there’s more to learn than just this paradigm’ way.

second, the millennia that have passed since actually make perfect sense to me when I read the whole arc of the bible, or at least starting with Abraham who God promises land, descendants and being a blessing to humanity. because the promises that are fulfilled temporarily, I believe, reflect a proper permanent fulfilment in what we might call the afterlife (which I think is something we need to talk about more, for any abrahamic religion, so that we can question our religious beliefs and make sure they’re in line with everything else we believe before we let them make us believe we deserve a place so badly we can use violence to remove the people who also live there), it makes sense that the fulfilment of these promises will take a while.

why? because I also take seriously what Jesus says in the great commission at the end of matthew. when he says tell the nations that the kingdom of God is near, after spending the whole of the gospels telling the Jews that specifically in his strange way. telling the nations this has to be in line with the rest of the commands in the gospels: marked with love and the weird upside-down kingdom Jesus brings where instead of lording power over others we value them and uplift them and empower them to decide for themselves how they approach God and a relationship with him that is made possible through Jesus. setting captives free, reversing poverty and other forms of disadvantage that ultimately leave people dependent on the choices and mercy of those around them, and in a state of fear and oppression that will doubtless colour the way they relate to God too. this is the opposite of colonialism, and unfortunately colonialism is one of the main tools which has paved the path for introducing people to Jesus over the millennia since he was here on earth.

now to be clear I’m not saying that everyone has to become a Christian and I don’t think it’s about salvation from going to hell in the afterlife, just because you decide to believe a guy who lived 2000 years ago is also God. for me it’s I believe in God, and I believe all people have the right to explore how to connect with the supernatural and if I believe God is powerful and likes justice and is on the side of the oppressed this is tangible and healing for those who’ve only experienced human relationships that take and oppress and are all about climbing power structures. I believe hope for an afterlife where there is no death is comforting if you’ve experienced grief and that the idea of acceptance that’s not conditional to meeting a moral standard because you’re loved by your creator has potential to be a massive relief to people and allow us to then give the same love to our children and those around us, helping break generational trauma. I believe these things can be good for us now, and the fact that it’s never forced on us makes it even more safe. as you can see though, a lot of these things that are pretty much just applying what’s in the bible to basic neuroscience are the opposite of what Christianity is largely today.

anyway tangent aside I just think that it takes time for some idea or some person or whatever to bless the whole of humanity, and that if it’s gonna spread naturally (read: without being forced on people and stripped of its substance in the process) the earth is pretty big and that takes thousands of years. which to me makes sense as ‘God time’ but then again, I tend to think of the days of creation as millions of years each. I also see a lot of themes in the bible of family lines, nations and tribes etc all being important to be represented, even just as whatever part of the family group is able to be there, when God rescues people from exile in the old testament iirc there’s a focus on making sure all 12 tribes get home, and then in revelation there’s all 12 tribes mentioned too which could be a metaphor for every tribe and nation on the planet who are now because of Jesus, adopted into the 12 tribes basically. it’s a weird metaphor but the point of it is: God wants to be friends with every single person on the planet and is racially sensitive and hates the idea of some races and tribes and families being seen as less than and left behind. which is why personally i (and I might be wrong, but that’s okay) don’t tend to think about or expect the whole Jesus Return Day that christians like to talk about being this century or even in the next one. because we have a christianity that is very self righteous and oppressive to the poor and people of colour and anyone from a non western country, and we don’t celebrate every tribe and nation, in fact some of them have never heard of a Jesus who loves them, only a Jesus who’s forced on them by white people. this is very relevant for me in Australia and I don’t know where you’re from but if you’ve had a squiz of the gospels hopefully you can see a bit of why I think things like racial equity are even more important when you’re trying to represent Jesus than if you don’t ever think about that. even though many Christians would say the opposite. and if I personally think those who step on others and cry God they’re oppressing me and I need you to take me away get the best kind of karma by never getting to see that and however long we try to care for the planet in its current state with all the people on it is worth it just so none of them are proven right…

anyway, I hope you’re enjoying your read through! I hope you can come to it from a position of safety and open mindedness—sometimes when we’re looking for judgement against us we can find it and forget to see the acceptance that far outweighs it and I hope you don’t ever end up experiencing that. please tell me more about how this goes if you feel like it!

[thejennidiaries]

Thoughts on Holy Week from a Fully Re-committed Christ Follower

Yesterday, Palm Sunday began the Holy Week tradition which is celebrated among Catholics and many Protestants. Holy Week is always commemorated the week before Resurrection Sunday, also known as Easter. Palm Sunday commemorates Jesus’ triumphant return to Jerusalem where He was greeted by crowds that waved palm branches along His path. Some of the same people who greeted Him were some of the same people who ordered His crucifixion several days later, on Good Friday.

Growing up as a non-Catholic, I didn’t pay much attention to Holy Week or what it symbolized. My grandmother and my parents did place emphasis on Good Friday, Resurrection Sunday, with a Saturday church service from the Adventist church we attended. The various Christian schools I attended K-12 always ensured our Spring Break reflected Good Friday, so I never had to “defend” my right to be off from school.

As a got older into adulthood, I strayed away from my faith and many times I can admit that I did not place as much spiritual meaning on this Holy Week/Weekend as I knew I should have. In fact (and I don’t know why I’m admitting this), I remember some “friends” having a kickback as we used to call it on Good Friday. I’ll spare you the details, but I do remember seeing a picture appears that I had a fun night, but looking back on it, it was clearly a night of brokenness. I would love admit that this was the one and only Saturday morning I’ve woken up hungover and hating myself and hating my life based on my actions of the previous night. This night was probably the beginning of a downward spiral for about 7 years or so of me, living duplicitously between living in my faith and being in the world. It was 7 years of parties, nightclubs, drunkenness, and regrets. Hanging out with “friends” who I didn’t really mesh with and I’m honestly not certain if they cared for me (I can say for certain that one did not like me at all, but that’s a story for another time). I kept trying to get out of this life, but sin kept pulling me in. I was overwhelmed with loneliness and I felt like damaged goods and that I was now too impure to return to the safe community of the church.

However, about 3 years ago, I got into a situation where all I could do is turn to Christ. I had no choice but to recommit my life to Him. I was struggling to fully regain my trust in God and then in between the rebuilding of my faith, a “friend” did something against me that could have ended very differently if it wasn’t for grace. I could have let that situation break what I was rebuilding, but it only made my faith stronger. However, it wasn’t until I went to a baptism recently that I truly “got it”.

I’ve been struggling with this concept of being a “good” Christian. Which now that I think about it, how does that truly exist? Multiple bible verses, including Romans 3:12 reminds us that none of us are good without Christ. I’ve been having the burden of my past on my shoulders and struggling to forgive myself and fully accept that Jesus has forgiven me for all the things that I have done against Him. When I went to this baptism recently, the pastor spoke a short message about being changed by Christ and the meaning of grace and it was like things finally clicked.

Over the past week or so, I have found so much freedom in living for Christ. Burden and shame are not of God—they are of Satan. Satan wants you to feel guilty for sins that have been confessed to Jesus and He has forgiven. Some Christian communities refer to guilt as conviction. Let me tell you if no one else had, guilt and conviction are two very different things. Conviction is to be led in a certain direction in a certain situation. Guilt is to continue to feel bad about your past long after you have confessed and have been forgiven for said trespass.

So long story short, as we continue Holy Week and enter into remembrance of Christ’s crucifixion on Friday. I hope you find and experience the freedom that was given to all of us when Christ died for us on the cross and that you can live authentically in the light and love that God has for you.  

[dailyaudiobible]

07/23/2023 DAB Transcript

2 Chronicles 8:11-10:19, Romans 8:9-25, Psalms 18:16-36, Proverbs 19:26

Today is the 23rd day of July welcome to the Daily Audio Bible I'm Brian it’s great to be here with you today. It's always great, always, always, always great to be in the presence of brothers and sisters immersing ourselves in the Scriptures. I guess I'd have to say this is about my favorite place to be. So, I'm grateful to be here with you today. Hopefully we’re all grateful to be here together around the Global Campfire beginning a brand-new shiny sparkly week together. And may we remember as we so often do, it's all out in front of us and we can make of it whatever we want. In fact, we will make of it whatever we want based on the thoughts, words and deeds of our lives in the next coming week. And, so, may we go into it with open hands and grateful hearts living into this gift of life, an experience that God has given to us. And we know these sorts of things because we are taught them from the Scriptures from the word of God. And, so, let's turn our attention in that direction. This week we will read from the New International Version. And of course, we’ll be picking up where he left off and that leads us back into second Chronicles. And right now, second Chronicles is chronicling the life and reign of King Solomon. So, today second Chronicles chapter 8 verse 11 through 10 verse 19.

Prayer:

Father, we thank You for Your word. We thank You for bringing us into this brand-new week, all new, all shiny, all waiting for us. And we look forward to all that You will bring to us in the Scriptures in this coming week and all of the things that we will have an opportunity to talk about and meditate on and consider as the Scriptures are sowed into the soil and tilled into the soil of our hearts. And, so, come Holy Spirit, we open our hearts to You. Make the soil of our hearts fertile for Your word. May the fruit that comes from the time that we spend in the Scriptures, may it grow bountifully and bubble forth out into our lives. May be dispensed into the world, revealing Your glorious love and compassion for us and everyone. Holy Spirit, come. Lead us into all truth. Lead us on the narrow path that leads to life. Make Your word a lamp to our feet and a light to our path in this next week we pray in the name of Jesus. Amen.

Community Prayer and Praise:

Hi Daily Audio Bible family this is Derek in Oklahoma. I'm requesting prayer for my marriage. My wife has filed for divorce, and it looks like things are moving in that direction. We've had some trouble in the past. I think that she's looking to move on and not wanting to work on where we're at in our lives. I've got a lot of healing and growing to do, and I ask that you pray for me. I know my wife is a Christian and that she loves the Lord, but she seems to be running right now. I would pray that you guys would pray for her and just raise her up to the Lord in this time. Ask the lord to convict her, to touch her heart and to soften her heart and warm it towards me and to the Lord and that she would be brought the right news, the right messages at the right times from the right lips, that she would be open to look at doing things God's way and to look at reconciliation. I thank you all guys…you guys for being there through this hard time with me and I love you guys and I appreciate hearing everyone's prayers and I pray with you. Thank you. God...

Hi DABbers this is Kay from Ohio. I just want to pray. I think she said her name…I don't know if she's saying Wren or Friend. She didn't really give details but she's struggling with alcoholism. And my sister I can't say I know how you feel but we've all had something that we had to be delivered from and give it over to God. And because you put it out in the air it's so much easier to be free from…the devil can't hold it over your head because you've already opened it up and you have other people praying for you. And when you have the prayers of the righteous there's nothing God can do…can't do for you. So, God I ask that You just touch my sister in ways that she hasn't been touched before, that she will trust You like never before and totally surrender it all to You and let You do what You do best with no help from anyone else God. Be with her. Be with her in the midnight hours when no one else is looking when the struggle is the hardest because no one's there to tell her no or to stop. Be with her when she sees it in the stores. God I pray that the smell of alcohol makes her literally sick to where she…just the thought of it makes her sick because she doesn't want the taste on her tongue. And if she gets so far to get it on her tongue God, that she would just regurgitate it all and that she will pick up the word of God and the scriptures will start to flowing out of her mouth and she will be a living testimony of who You are and what You can do God. Keep her in Your blood in Jesus’ name. Amen. God bless you.

Hello DAB family this is Diana from Florida and I want to pray for the man who called in in the July 19th podcast requesting prayer for his brother who's been released from prison after 24 years and is having trouble acclimating to society and the world around him. Dear God, I lift up this man right now into your hands. Lord God, he has been freed physically from prison but his mind, his heart, his soul, his spirit still remains bound. O Lord God, still remains in chains, still remains in prison. And Father God, I pray that he would have a supernatural encounter with you that would set him free. I pray that he would know the truth, the truth of your gospel, the truth of your word, the truth of who you are and that the truth would set him free. Lord Jesus, I pray O Lord God just as this man was saying that prison in many ways becomes a safe place. Father God, I think about the people of Israel. I think about the fact that they were grumbling and complaining in the wilderness, and they kept saying we want to go back to Egypt, we want to go back to Egypt because there was more variety of food, there was comfort there was the things they knew, there was everything. Even though they were enslaved and bound over there they still wanted to go back, and I think in many ways his brother may be experiencing that same thing because prison provided boundaries that he now no longer has. So, I pray that support would surround this brother or Lord God and this man who has just been released from prison to help him acclimate and get used to the world but at the same time to lead him to the __ grace of Jesus Christ, that he O Lord God would come to the repentance of his sins, turn away from them all and receive Jesus as his Lord and savior. And I pray that he would not be afraid to be vulnerable with God so that he could be set free.

Hey Daily Audio Bible my name is Zach I'm 21 years old. I'm in school. I live in Nashville TN. This is my first time calling actually. I've been listening for about a couple months now really trying to dive in and I really enjoy what this app has to offer. I'm calling today because my grandfather, one of the most amazing people I know, a man of God is in the hospital right now because he's battling lymphoma cancer that we just got word today that has spread all over his body. It's even to the point where it's pressing against his brain and he's not able to talk. He's non responsive and this has been really really tough on my family over the past couple weeks. And today we just got news of all this new spread and it's really heavy on us. So, I just…I just want to ask all the all the prayer warriors, all the amazing people out there, God's people to really just keep my family and my grandfather on their minds. The power of prayer is an incredible thing. I've seen it move. I know God is a way maker and He's a miracle worker. I know that He can do amazing things. So, I just wanna ask if you if you guys could pray for me and my family. That would be amazing. Anything will help. Thank you, guys.

[artist-issues]

Well then, let me give you a nice shortcut. If you want to understand why I said what I said about the Qu’ran, or the Biblical truth of “God is love” where humans don’t decide what the words in that sentence mean arbitrarily, or what Jesus said about homosexuality, or Gentile Christians and the law—you can read the comments. Or the reblogs. Honestly, I respond to so many of you because I want to make sure that anyone reading all of this hears the answers to these topics from a Biblical worldview. But there’s so much repetition—everybody comes in here with the same basic objections—that it doesn’t feel like y’all are reading at all.

Not only that, but I have to sift through trolls who have nothing useful to say, let alone add, to the conversation. Which, you know. The internet. But it’s eating up my day to repeat myself and talk to people who aren’t being genuine in the first place.

So from now on?

@abotl,

@moniquill

@elfwreck

@jraker4

If you have anything to say to me about this post or these topics in actual good faith, you can read the responses I’ve already made and shoot me a DM. Or, if you are convinced that what you believe is the truth and as such you need to make it public in a conversation with me, I can understand that: send me an Ask and we can continue there.

I’ve read all the most recent things you’ve said, and I’m happy to answer them: evidence for the New Testament, semantic range in translation, the fact that Christianity has been in majority a force for good throughout all of mankind’s history, the Qu’ran and the Bible and the clear communication such as it is on either—I’ll talk about all of that stuff with y’all.

But you’ll have to do it in the ways I’ve mentioned, because I’m sick of repeating myself on this post. At least in an Ask I don’t have to say “read the comments, read the reblogs, I already responded to this.” At least in an Ask I can reasonably assume you’re only reaching out to me for genuine reasons, because it requires slightly more continued, focused effort to do so.

If y’all keep coming here I’ll just turn off replies. 🤷‍♀️

“At least it's not ferociously attacking God quite as directly as Steven Universe did…”

Not that I’m surprised by this statement, but can you elaborate on this? Kinda intrigued by your thoughts on Steven Universe.

Okie dokie, you’re not the only one who has asked me about this, so I suppose I’ll poke the hornet’s nest. 😅 I haven’t talked about this before because I assumed that everyone who wanted to hear my kinds of opinions on stories wasn’t watching or interested in Steven Universe.

It’s like asking vegetarian if they enjoyed a turkey dinner. The turkey dinner was so obviously not made for vegetarians to enjoy, so why would the vegetarian even bother analyzing the turkey?

But I think if some people are asking me why I think Steven Universe is anti-God (of the Bible) its because maybe they don’t know what the turkey is. Not completely. (Maybe not you, because like you said, you’re not surprised by my comment.) So I’ll explain my thoughts on Steven Universe.

If you’re just following me because you liked some stuff I posted, but didn’t realize that I’m a Bible-believing Christian and don’t want to hear about it, unfollow me now. Because I’m going to talk about some hot button issues here and the trolls will come out.

Steven Universe is really well-done. The jokes are funny, the writing is believable, the characters have great chemistry, great design, the concept is fascinating, the slow build-up and reveal of the plot elements is great. But when you watch the throne room scene in the last episode of Season 5 “Change Your Mind,” it’s alarmingly clear how much the whole show is not just settling for defending and championing the LGBTQ+ worldview—it goes all the way to attacking what Christians believe, on the other side.

Anything that’s pro-LGBTQ+ is doing that by default, but this show goes out of its way to do that.

You have to understand: God created and designed us. Deeper than that; He created and designed romantic relationships, and invented marriage. He didn’t just create love—He is love. So when humans come along and do what we’ve always done since the fall, and say, “I’d rather define what Your thing is and how it works for myself, God,” it’s not only an incredible slap in the face, it’s an attack on God’s actual identity—and it’s destructive for us and the people around us. Like a fish insisting it can breathe oxygen.

But Steven Universe goes beyond that. It knows that the Christian worldview is it’s biggest opposition. It digs right down to the heart of the worldview-battle. LGBTQ+ worldview says, “I should get to love what I want and be who I am, because I’m me. Love is love. (By which I mean, any action or relationship I choose to call love is love, because I’m the one calling it that.)”

Biblical worldview says “No, wait, you shouldn’t base your decisions on you alone; what you want changes day to day, and you’re broken, so you can’t ever be satisfied based on what you want—the Bible says God made you for something, and you rejected that, and it broke you. You’re not how you’re meant to be: even what you want and what you think love is is twisted up and can hurt you and others. But if you submit to God He’ll help you, He’ll fix what’s broken and give you new life by making you how you were supposed to be: He’ll live in you and through you.”

Are we beginning to get the picture?

See, the whole thing with the opposing views between LGBTQ+ and Christian people is as old as time. It’s not a new debate. It’s Satan and Eve in the garden. She says, “This is not how God said things should be,” and Satan says, “Are you sure that’s what He said? He knows if you do this thing, you’ll be like Him. You’ll be god: you’ll get to decide ‘how things should be’ for yourself.”

He lied and said that disobedience would satisfy her. That she knew what her own heart needed better than the God that made it did. That the very act of being imperfect would make her godlike.

And then Steven Universe comes along and says “if every pork chop were perfect, we wouldn’t have hotdogs.”

And has a cast of created being characters who’s imperfections (Garnet’s forbidden “love,” Pearl’s obsession, Amethyst’s insecurity) are supposedly “the best thing about them; what makes them who they are.”

And has a main character who used to be a part of the god-like creator relationship, but used her power to come down to earth and completely change who she is into a fully different person.

And has a godlike Creator character who claims she “doesn’t need” her created beings (just like the God of the Bible) but they all have a little part of their creator in them so she has to repress their imperfections; she holds them all to a standard that’s impossible to reach called “perfection” and punishes them when they don’t meet it even though it hurts them to try; she expects them all to do what they were created by her for; she fixes them when they can’t meet her standard by shining her light through them and making them extensions of their Creator.

And has a main character who argues, fights back, tries to stop her, and is answered with lines that sound surprisingly like what LGBTQ+ people hear when Christians argue with them: “you’re only making things worse; you’re just deceiving yourself; even while you resist it your actual light can’t help shining through,” etc.

White Diamond just wants everything to be perfect. Like her. She just wants her created beings to “be themselves.” But what she means is, be how she created them to be.

And she’s the bad guy. She’s playing God in this show, and Rebecca Sugar is saying, “If God is telling us that can only be happy by being perfect, as He is perfect, and doing what He created us to do, then He’s wrong. Our imperfections are what make us special—unique—individuals—free—and there is nobody who has the right to take that freedom away from us, not even out creator!”

And you know what?

If God were like White Diamond, like Rebecca Sugar believes Him to be, Steven Universe would be right.

But He is NOT.

God is not a dictator who forces us to conform to a standard of perfection and then smashes us when we don’t meet it. He is a King who made us perfect to begin with, and we rejected him, because He allowed us to do that. He knew that true love was love that had to be chosen, and He wanted us to love Him by choice, so he gave us the option. But Rebecca Sugar doesn’t understand—there was never “Choose God or Choose Yourself.” There was only, “Choose God or Choose Nothing.” There was nothing except God. Then He created everything. There is no version of reality where you have something better than God, or even slightly less good but different, to pick. You’re not jumping from one ship into a smaller one, but at least it’s yours—you’re jumping from one ship into a void, and then complaining that there’s no other ship. That’s humans. That’s not God. / White Diamond didn’t make her creations perfect (Amethyst) and she didn’t make them for love. She made them for power. That’s not the God of the Bible.

Even when we did choose to try and love ourselves instead of God, and therefore warped our ability to perfectly love at all, He didn’t smash us. True, everything fell and was cursed, which is exactly what He warned us would happen if we chose it, but it was a natural consequence of breaking ourselves. And then He didn’t leave us that way. He didn’t give up on us. And He certainly didn’t just zap us, snap His fingers, quick-fix it and turn us all into robots who are extensions of Him, who say they love Him but only because it’s His voice puppeting us to say it.

No. He came to us, chose to give up His life at the exact point on the timeline when Romans, masters in the art of slow, humiliating, torturous death, would be the ones to carry out His crucifixion, and saved us Himself. Through the sacrifice of His own life. And even then, we still have a choice. We get to choose to accept that incredible self-sacrifice when we don’t deserve it, and be given new life and a relationship with the Creator who knows us and loves us better than we can love ourselves or receive love from others—OR we can just keep stubbornly insisting that our slavery to the opposite of what God wants is somehow freedom, and our twisted versions of love are genuine, and we’re not broken, and die like that. Die broken creatures who lived their whole lives stomping their feet and screaming “I’m not a creature, I’m a god!”

White Diamond sacrifices nothing, because Rebecca Sugar doesn’t know the God of the Bible. She just knows her idea of Him. She’s never actually gotten to know Him. If she had, she’d learn how silly and twisted her idea is.

Because you know what, yeah, if every pork chop were perfect, we wouldn’t have hot dogs. But people aren’t pork chops. And hot dogs have flavor (not better than pork chops) but they are awful for you.

Christians aren’t perfect cuts of meat with no individuality or flavor. Just because we all know and love the same God doesn’t mean we have no personalities. It just means we don’t think so freaking much about what we are, or who we get to be, or what we like and want. Jeez, what a self-centered, narcissistic, self-obsessed way to live. She plays Steven like he’s this wonder-child, innocent and full of heart, who encourages his friends to love and keep trying. But honestly?

This is very pretty animation but it’s not real. Steven looks happy hugging Steven but self-love doesn’t ultimately get you that.

That’s all based on the premise that what he’s encouraging them to do is actually good, and will make them happy, and will help them love better. And it just won’t. Not in real life. That’s not how any of this works. Self-love is just self-obsession. And that is a sure-fire way to hurt you, and everyone around you.

You’ll never be free by choosing to run to a worse master. You’ll never be satisfied with your crappy attempts at loving yourself, because you were made to be loved flawlessly and forever by someone who is Love Himself.

And choosing to identify with your imperfections doesn’t make you uniquely you. It just makes you exactly like every other human being marching in the same line since the Fall.

White Diamond’s not relational. She’s up high and distant. That’s not God. He made you to be in relationship with Him. He loves you, totally and perfectly, and He proved it by sacrificing for You.

So yeah. That’s the problem with Steven Universe. Come get me, SU fans.