#I don’t know enough about alchemy to know if that’s required knowledge

[monards]

rip rhinedottir taking middle school biology probably could’ve saved you

[miraakulous-cloud-district]

For the oc ask game!!! 😍😍😍 1. Class (or a general description of their skillset)

2. What was their childhood like? Who raised them? Do they have siblings?

3. Where did they grow up? A city? A village? Isolated, in the wilderness? What was it like to leave?

4. Do they pick a side in the Civil War?

5. On a scale of 1-10, how much do they hate the Thalmor? The Empire?

Five questions for the lovely Ravonna! 💖

Thank you so much for the ask dear! Also, if anyone sees this and likes Ravonna, you can check out my fic!

1. I like to think that Morrowind is the little magic corner of Tamriel, so basic magic is standard there. Everyone does it. However, Ravonna’s fascination with magic, her determination to get revenge and the fact that she’s a bit of an overachiever made her a master destruction mage. She does amazing in the other schools of magic as well. All of them except for healing. She thinks it’s pointless to fill her head with those spells when she can just buy healing potions. (she cannot do alchemy for the life of her). Of course this is going to bite her in the ass constantly. Good thing we have a certain Dragon Priest who used to be a healer ;). But don’t worry, he’s willing to share his knowledge later on. All I can say is that I can’t wait to write the scene, hehehe!

As for other skills, she thinks she is an amazing sneak. She is not. Seriously, she should stop. Getting detected by all of the draugr, giants, bears and guards isn’t very fun. She does decently with one handed weapons, all thanks to Teldryn. But she hates anything that is heavy and requires much strength. It’s enough that she walks and runs all over the place, refusing to take horses and put them into danger. Absolutely no two handed weapons and shields. She’s never used a shield in her life and would rather die than use a greatsword, or worse, an axe. She loves wearing enchanted fancy robes. She’s also a master in the art of speechcraft. 

2. She had a bit of an unusual childhood. She grew up in a tavern in the city of Blacklight. The tavern was big and very beautiful. She doesn’t really know anything about her roots (yet), just that her mother brought her to the tavern and dropping dead after making the innkeeper promise he’d take care of her. And he kept his promise. The innkeeper, Endryn, along with his brother Teldryn and the tavern’s bard, Hjaldir took care of her and raised her as if she was their own daughter. She learned a bit from each of them: being determined, ambitious and strong from Teldryn, being kind, friendly and always helping those in need from Endryn and having fun, singing, being witty, charismatic, playing every instrument and not taking anything too seriously from Hjaldir. Him and Ravonna formed a strong bond. Some say it’s because they were two nords in a land full of dunmer, others say it’s because their personalities are really similar and they complete each other. Some even say they look strangely similar. I made them both and I have proof! Here you go:

Anyway, her childhood was full of love. She quickly started singing at the tavern and making friends of all ages. She proved to be quite charming. Magnetic, even. Everyone wanted to listen to her songs and her tales. She’s had her fair share of adventure in Morrowind. First with Teldryn, and then with friends from the guild of mages. And of course, many, many shenanigans. She got everyone in and out of trouble.

3. As I said before, she grew up in Blacklight, which is one of the major cities in Morrowind. The ash storms weren’t very nice. Nor was the limited food. Or the scribs. Or any Morrowind creature for that matter. The truth is she never truly felt like she belonged there, but it was a place full of fascinating stories and fond memories. A place full of love. And it will always stay like that in her heart. Leaving was unexpectedly easy for her. She was at that point in her life where she wanted to see the world and travel. However, she didn’t want to leave the way she did: on a quest to destroy the Dark Brotherhood and those responsible for Endryn’s assassination.

4. She hates politics and doesn’t understand it. Every time someone asks her about politics, she says that she’s just a bard and doesn’t want to get involved in that stuff. She doesn’t even care about the civil war at first. She's just furious that they were going to execute her and Lucien, who she was travelling with at the time. But, as time passes and she gets comfortable in the land of Skyrim, it truly saddens her that the country is falling apart because of stupid, stubborn people. As for picking a side, she’d like to knock some sense into both sides.

5. She doesn’t hate the Empire, but boy does she wish they’d be a bit less stubborn (at least make levitation legal, for Gods’ sakes). She knows that the Empire is trying to keep everything in control and that the allegiance with the Thalmor is solely too keep the peace. Speaking of Thalmor, she absolutely hates them. Anyone that thinks they’re above all, is racist, exclusivist and elitist is on her list of people she strongly dislikes. The killing and torturing that the Thamor do makes her blood boil sometimes. It’s unfair and horrible and she hopes that karma will work her magic and they end up being treated as they treat everyone else.

Thank you again for the tag and sorry for the huge essay haha. I could talk about my ocs all day. This was really fun!

[agape-philo-sophia]

➝ Truth is the Foundation That Leads to the Healing Wisdom of Right-Action. 🔑

To Know-Thyself is part of philosophy, which is philo-sophia, the “love of wisdom“. Wisdom is not simply knowledge or understanding, but acting on that understanding and living a certain way based on moral truth. Philosophy, the love of wisdom, is the love of right-action.

True philosophy is based in moral truth and determines our conduct in life to act rightly. A way of living not based in truth, is not a philosophy but an ideology that leads one astray into foolishness and suffering. The “love” of wisdom to behave and conduct our lives in a way that is conducive to producing rightness, and reducing wrongness, is how we heal ourselves and the world from its current condition. This is the foundation which drives ancient “occulted” disciplines such as alchemy, Kabbalah, Tarot and Freemasonry, and also religions, despite the corruption in teachings they have incurred over time.

The “spiritual”/consciousness journey and search for truth, knowledge and understanding is also a search for answering the question “who am I?”/“who are you?” (know-thyself). What we do as we manifest our consciousness through action and behavior, is a part of who we are. Wisdom is doing something with what you know. If you don’t act on what you understand to be right, then you don’t really understand the responsibility that comes with the knowledge and understanding of what is right to do.

“To know and not to do, is not to know.” ~ Wang Yangming

There is a difference between having internal knowledge and understanding, and properly applying that knowledge and understand to externally act upon it. The knowledge and understanding gained is meant to be applied as action, right-action.

Understanding must be unified with action at some point in order for something to result from that understanding. This is the basis of the Trivium Methodology (knowledge, understanding and wisdom). Otherwise, understanding without action leads to nothing in the end. Nothing will end up changing or being healed in the world. Action through conscious will-power is required for things to change around us. The change and healing that first occurs is internal through knowledge and understanding of our attachment to falsity, lies, deceptions and immorality, and then external action needs to be applied. Having accurate understanding of what ‘is’ in reality is the first step.

Once we know, what are we going to do with what we know? Knowledge and understanding is not power in itself. Right-action developed through accurate understanding imbues knowledge with power. Knowledge alone has no power. Our will-power makes knowledge powerful because we act upon it.

Right-action is knowing and understanding properly, and then acting upon it. We can act from a position of lack of knowledge and understanding and hope to get the results we want. But since we don’t know enough about the situation to produce the results we want, acting from a position of ignorance is not likely to produce the results we really want. Only by understanding the core foundational root causal factors of the situation/problem we are in, can we come to a position of accurate understanding in order to apply proper solutions.

Aligning with Moral Truth/Law will provide us with the wisdom of right-actions to take.

“Under analysis a person discovers that situations consist of elements, some of which are wrong and others right. If he sorts out and examines those elements, truth is easily separated from error. Some tasks of sorting are more difficult than others, but only because they are more complicated. They have more elements; therefore, they take more time to analyze, or perhaps the individual lacks knowledge of how to deal with them.

Often it is hard to collect all the pertinent facts. Some facts must be filled in by speculation, and here it is important that the speculation be done by a scrupulous person. If those analyses are continued long enough, there finally emerges a clear pattern of distinctions between right and wrong. Those who act before a clear pattern emerges are the persons whose irresponsibility is causing much of society’s trouble.” ~ Right is Might by Richard W. Wetherill, pg. 23

Knowledge and understanding can be used irresponsibly to create falsity, deception and manipulation, to keep people ignorant and under control. Or it can be used for good to elevate, expand and evolve consciousness. We must know the truth in order to not be fooled, conned, manipulated, hoodwinked, bamboozled and tricked.

Accepting the idea that there is “negative” information you should not learn, ignore, deny, reject and refuse to acknowledge, prevents one from embracing the truth in all its beauty and horror, light and dark, positive and negative, good and evil. Refusing to look at the shadow, darkness, “demon” and negative that dwells inside each of us (consciousness, psyche, mind and “heart”, “spirit”, all the same), will halt the journey and path towards truth and prevent us from getting to the “heart of the matter”, the core foundational root causal factors of our current condition.

The only way out of the problems we have created is by confronting them, and in the end, the source of the problem is us, humanity as a whole that chooses to live in a certain and create what we create as our human way of life. The only way forward to overcome a problem and correct it, is to face it and go through it, not ignore it. The only way to overcome the darkness is by shining a light on it. Knowing ourselves by looking in the mirror, into the “heart of darkness”, allows us to face that which needs to be transmuted, sublimated, transformed, healed or purified.

Turning our backs to the hard uncomfortable truths is not a solution. We can learn and develop the wisdom to know what the right-action is to take. We can learn from our mistakes, correct them, and become new, truer, higher, realer more authentic potential versions of ourselves. We can continually self-renew who we are. We can change for the better.

Empower yourself with the care, courage and will-power to face the truth. Care for Moral Truth. Accept the personal responsibility and take the time, energy, effort, dedication, determination, persistence and perseverance required to learn and understand what is going on in the world and in yourself. We can heal ourselves and the world.

[thepradapariah]

RANDOM ASTROLOGY THOUGHTS 💭

That literally don’t mean anything but mean everything at the same time.

The similarities between describing how astrology & tarot works versus describing how quantum physics works are unreal.

As above. So below. Even when you think you know about the universe, be it through esoteric & occult knowledge (tarot/astrology/spirituality/alchemy/magik/witchcraft) or science (specifically quantum mechanics, astronomy, psychology & sociology) you will always find a point where it can no longer be explained. It can no longer make sense within the limitations of our conscious minds. There will always be a point when practically no longer applies & reason can no longer explain such phenomena & how it works. There will always be a point where a level of faith is required. Although the predictions are accurate & precise, there is always a point between this realm in the next that can’t be explained. Be it The Big Bang, the uncertainty principle or how cards fall in a tarot spread. Even those w the most logical of minds are drawn to figuring out how the universe works. And if they keep seeking long enough, they all come to the same conclusion— We may never really know.

On the surface, people paint tarot & astrology to be mumbo jumbo, but it’s just as much mumbo jumbo as atoms not being particles, but actual waves that cause a vibration: meaning our understanding of reality is no kind of reality it all. The spiritual world is always talking about vibrations & how crucial they are to the function of perceiving & changing our reality. Well, so does the practical world. Don’t let anyone make you feel less smart because you have more faith. The brainiacs & the sciences of the world require more faith than you know.

If someone tells you tarot & astrology aren’t real because it can’t fully be described how it works/it’s not a “real” science, just assume they must not be smart enough to grasp quantum physics’ science either. If they can’t conceptualize the world on a physical monocular level, they can’t conceptualize the world on a non-material psychic level either.

Side note: The Universe is created upon patterns. I consider science to be the study of these universal patterns which are spiritual phenomenons repeating over & over. I hope future generation bridge the gap of science & spirituality again. They are one in the same. One would not exist without the other. We all rely on the patterns of the universe to orchestrate, define & understand our existence.

[pocarinapyon]

Truth and Meaning of Life

A short(ish) writing about a reclusive alchemist experiencing a peculiar feeling he has never felt before upon meeting the adventurer for the first time.

Starring : Albedo, Kaeya, Klee, Lisa, Sucrose, and Timaeus

Warning : 😐 -n/a-

To whoever is reading, please enjoy.

The Favonius Chief Alchemist and Investigation Team Captain was well-known in Mondstadt for his scholarly attainments, having knowledge that even the academics of Sumeru did not possess. All admired his alchemical prowess, honoring him titles such as “genius” and “Kreideprinz” among many others. Indeed he was a famous man, yet few have actually been blessed to meet the remarkable Albedo as he was often in Dragonspine.

Yes, Albedo spent most of his time in Dragonspine – so much that he was unaware of the new faces who decided to stay in the welcoming city of Mondstadt. People came and gone from Mondstadt while he kept to himself in the chilly mountaintop; burying himself in his research. What was the truth and the meaning of life? It was such a complex topic that even the great alchemist had no definite answer.

The only reason why Albedo would return to Mondstadt was either to meet up with his acquaintances or to investigate interesting phenomenon. Today, the reason why the charming young man appeared in Mondstadt was due to the former reason. He was to rendezvous with his mentees, Sucrose and Timaeus, and review the progress of their own scholarly pursuits.

The young gentleman discussed his thoughts, gently guiding his fellow alchemists in organizing their research topics. In response, the two assistants listened eagerly, absorbing Albedo’s wisdom like sponge. Everything was going smoothly until the observant man noticed the uneasiness of Sucrose, and along with it the sound of footsteps nearing them from behind.

“So the hearsay were true. You really have returned to Mondstadt. Welcome back, Albedo.”

It did not require a genius to know who was the man that approached them. The first two clues were enough for Albedo to know it was Kaeya, the Favonius Cavalry Captain. Albedo turned and politely greeted the towering dark-haired man.

“How long will you be staying in Mond? Klee misses you,” Kaeya said.

“I will be staying for a while. On that note, do you know where Klee went? She was neither at home nor in the headquarters. I hope she is behaving well in my absence,” Albedo replied.

“Oh, don’t worry. She has been behaving for a while. If you are looking for her, she is in the company of an innocent adventurer.”

To know his younger sister, Klee, was moderated brought a smile to the young alchemist’s face. If she were to be left to her own devices, everything would be set aflame and he would have to use his energy to clean the mess. But who was this innocent adventurer that accompanied Klee? And why would Kaeya use the term innocent? Were they capable of keeping the ever energetic Klee in check?

The conversation dragged on and on as Kaeya interrogated Albedo of his current activities and his plans in the succeeding days. It was too much social interaction – much more than what the reclusive young man could handle.

“Ah, I’ll best be going. Have a pleasant day to you three.”

Freedom. Finally, Albedo was free to once again discuss alchemy. As soon as Kaeya was away from the vicinity, the alchemist resumed where they left and spent hours talking about academics.

The sun had already set and Klee was still nowhere to be found. Albedo knew the young lass could defend herself. In fact, he should be more worried about whoever or whatever tried to cross paths with her. Regardless, Klee was still a young girl. As her acting older brother, he went to the Knights of Favonius Headquarters to consult with someone who can point Klee’s location, Kaeya.

Albedo entered the grand structure, greeting his fellow knights politely with a charming smile. His feet had not taken him afar when he heard very familiar laughter. He smiled at Klee’s merry giggles and followed the melodious sound, leading him to – oddly yet unsurprisingly – the confinement room. Three harmonious laughter filled the room, two of which were recognizable to him. The door was slightly ajar, giving Albedo a chance to take a peek. Inside, he found the source of the unknown voice: an adventurer. The new face carried Klee lovingly in their arms. Seeing how Klee was at ease with the adventurer, Albedo knew Klee was fond of this person.

The two looked like close siblings, the adventurer having a cute baby face and a short length. Their interactions were accompanied by hearty chuckles, having an ambience full of frolic. They were a beautiful sight – so beautiful that Albedo opted to take his pen for a quick sketch.

Albedo finished his masterpiece. As he was about to make an appearance, the other familiar voice in the room spoke.

“By the way, Klee. I have a surprise for you.”

“Hooray! What is the surprise, Kaeya? Can I open my eyes now?” the excited Klee asked, closing her eyes at the word surprise.

“Silly. You just closed your eyes! Wait – should I close mine too?” the adventurer asked.

“Haha. I think it’s best if you closed yours too. We don’t want to ruin the surprise with your reactions, do we?” Kaeya answered.

“[your name]! [your name]! Quick! Close your eyes!” Klee giddily exclaimed even before the adventurer could utter a protest.

What a well timed charade. It was as if Kaeya had predicted Albedo’s presence. Why else would Kaeya say he had a surprise for Klee? Albedo knocked on the door despite it being open and entered the room. As expected, Kaeya already had a grin for Albedo which validated Albedo’s hypothesis.

“Was that a knock?” the adventurer asked.

“Let me carry Klee,” Kaeya told the adventurer as he took the cute child in his arms, brushing off the adventurer’s inquiry as if it was unimportant. “A-ah. No peeking, little Klee. Otherwise, I won’t give you the surprise.”

“Hehe ~ I wasn’t peeking. I promise!” Klee snickered, feeling Kaeya’s fluffy collar.

“Promise?” Kaeya confirmed. “OK. After you count to ten, you can open your eyes.”

“Kaeya, should I count too?” the innocent adventurer asked.

“Hmn. Yes, so you can both equally feel the suspense,” Kaeya teased as he carefully handed Klee to Albedo. He then went behind the adventurer, placed both hands on their shoulders, and slowly guided them to face the direction of the siblings.

“OK! Let’s count together, [your name]!” the pumped up Klee declared.

“OK! Let’s start! One! Two! Three!” the evenly enthusiastic adventurer commenced.

Eight. Nine. Ten. Klee opened her eyes to see a pair of lovely teal orbs, soft lips curved to a gentle smile, and ashy light brown hair braided neatly. It was her dear brother – Albedo. She squealed loudly followed by a tight squeeze to the young gentleman that held her.

Albedo returned Klee’s embrace, caressing the back of her head endearingly and chuckling at the warm welcome. It seems Klee really likes the adventurer as she immediately showcased her new friend.

“It’s nice to meet you, Mister Albedo. My name is [your name] from the Adventurer’s Guild.”

A lovely name spoken by an adorable person with a pleasant voice and a charming personality. Albedo could only think of good remarks towards the adventurer. Never in his long life has Albedo met anyone possessing such rare beauty.

Something inside Albedo was incited. It was an odd feeling of attraction he has never felt before. Perhaps he was still inspired from the masterpiece he drew earlier? Perhaps it was because Klee liked this person which led him to think similarly? Or perhaps he was just elated to be reunited with his sister? Whatever it was, it was a satisfying feeling only for a fleeting moment. The best he could do now was to smile and savour the passing seconds. Because surely the next time the two of them would meet, Albedo would not feel the peculiar emotion again. Ever.

And boy he was wrong.

“Hi, Mister Albedo! I saw your commission and took it. At first, I didn’t realize it was you but when I did, I decided to go the extra mile for a cute smile. Here are the materials you requested plus more just in case you needed them. The extras are all in the house,” the adventurer, one day, said as they presented the items with a bright smile.

“Albedo, do you need help in taking care of Klee? I can join you if you want. Uhm… But if you’re busy, I can play with her myself. Don’t worry about it,” in another day, the adventurer kindly offered, looking at Albedo with doe eyes.

“Oops! I hope you don’t mind me intruding your study. I brought you lunch plus snacks. Hehe ~ I notice you liked sweets so I tossed in a pouch of goodies!” in a different scenario, the adventurer winked as they carefully placed a meal box on Albedo’s Favonius office desk.

The adventurer was everywhere and the weird fuzzy feeling did not go away. Albedo assumed it worsens the more he interacts with the adventurer. So he tried to keep his distance, experimenting on his own emotions to check if the symptoms would subside. But alas! Even in their absence, the adventurer invaded Albedo’s mind. It did not matter whether he mingles with or avoids the adventurer. The results were the same.

Conducting self-experiments were getting nowhere. Perhaps his approach on the subject should be different. Research materials. He needed to know whatever it was he felt in order to understand it better. So he sought the knowledge in books and the opinions of his peers. And their common diagnosis?

Love. Albedo, the reclusive alchemist, was in-love. Who knew the answer would consist of only four letters? Just like life, love was another simple word that holds complex ideas.

How exactly did he fall in-love? When? Why the adventurer? Why not Sucrose or Lisa or Jean or someone from his acquaintances? What would happen if he told the adventurer about his feelings? If the adventurer reciprocated him, would it be joyous like how others perceived it? And if the adventurer rejected him, would it be painful like how others described it? He had so many questions. He needed to find more answers before he himself could declare he truly was in-love.

Albedo headed to the library, curiously contemplating on his current predicament. When he stepped inside the room full of books, Lisa greeted him with a mischievous smile and directed him to the section he needed.

Near the said area, Albedo heard a euphonious hum. It beckoned him and he unconsciously followed the sweet sound. On one of the tables was the adventurer casually reading a book while making a soft tune. The sight was inviting – like one of those lazy serene afternoons cajoling Albedo to relax and take a break.

He approached the adventurer and greeted them politely, secretly wishing for more than small talk. In turn, the adventurer welcomed Albedo and invited him for a seat. The adventurer was the one who commenced their idle chatter and it went on and on.

“I heard you were researching about the truth and meaning of life. That’s quite romantic, isn’t it?”

Romantic? It was the first time someone used the term to remark alchemy and research. If it were some other scholar, they would have scoffed at the unintelligent comment. But Albedo did not mind. In fact, he was amazed at the adventurer and was curious of the romance behind the truth and meaning of life. What was the meaning of life in a different angle?

“Well…,” the adventurer scratched their head, a pretty shade of pink tinted their face from the realization of spouting such nonsense to the great alchemist. “That’s a broad topic, isn’t it? As an alchemist, it’s probably going to be all about experiments. Like: how does this work; how do we improve this; can we do this to that; yadda yadda… But in the first place, what is life? Is it referring to your life as a person? Or life as whole Teyvat? Because I think learning the truth and meaning of life is simply to know what makes you you. What kind of a person are you? What kind of person do you strive to be? What makes you happy? What makes you sad? What motivates you? What do you love? Etcetera… Uhm, sorry, did that make sense? It’s too simple-minded, I know… It’s just me.”

Albedo smiled kindly. There was no need for the adventurer to feel embarrassed or disappointed. The idea might seem unsophisticated but it was nevertheless valid. It was so simple yet so deep; understandable yet incomprehensible. He was educated and he appreciated it greatly.

“Thank you, [your name]. You have enlightened me yet again. I must say I truly enjoy the conversations we share. It seems I truly need to prove to myself that I love you so I may gradually discover the meaning of my life,” Albedo hummed with a nod of affirmation.

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To whoever read this, thank you for your time. Here, have some lollipop. 🍭

[sabo-has-my-heart]

Atom-Atom fruit (Genshi-Genshi no mi)

Okay, so I had to tackle this in sections and even then I had to simply cut out fission/fusion and nuclear power partially because I simply don’t understand enough about atoms, or those subjects. While I would have loved to cover them more, I simply don’t have the brain power, knowledge, or capabilities to cover them. I did do my best to cover the rest of this request though, to the best of my ability. Yes, it is overpowered as hell! Working with atoms, it was bound to be overpowered, but I enjoyed working on this request for a variety of reasons.

So, for starters, simply controlling the properties of this devil fruit power would need to be done in one of a variety of ways. 1) thinking about controlling millions or billions of atoms (not recommended), 2) envisioning the preferred outcome (probably not easy, but can be done) 3) ??? 

The next thing I did was I had to break this up into sections and then turn that into a power fitting the subject matter while simultaneously discussing the base idea of what’s going on (as far as my understanding goes. 

Part 1) Increasing or decreasing air pressure through the manipulation of concentration of gaseous compounds. To increase or decrease air pressure through the manipulation of concentration of gasses means increasing or decreasing the number of gaseous atoms inside a select area. Would mean making an area to contain more or less gaseous atoms than the area outside of the containment. Likely there would be 2 ‘containment fields’. The innermost and the outermost. The innermost ‘field’ is the area of the preferred air pressure, the outermost is a small area of the opposite air pressure, where the gaseous atoms are either pulled to or pulled from. Without this outermost ‘shell’ the air pressure would change in a larger area from the pushing or pulling of atoms in the innermost containment field and likely create problems when removing the area of changed air pressure, such as a sudden vacuum or explosive force (like opening the emergency door on an airplane while in the plane). Would involve a radius of effect, like a bubble. 

Part 2) Manipulation of subatomic composition to change an element. Similar to Alchemy. By changing the number of protons within the nucleus and therefore its atomic number, you change the element itself. To change one elemental atom into another, you have to add or subtract protons, in order to do this without breaking certain laws of the universe (as I currently know it), you would need 2 elements whose total atomic number equals that of what you’re desiring to create. For example, you want to make lead into gold, lead has an atomic number of 82, while gold has an atomic number of 79, meaning you have 3 protons per atom of lead to put somewhere. You would therefore need x amount of lead and, hypothetically, the same amount of another element. You would take the 3 protons per atom for every atom of lead, and put them into the atoms of the other element to create another element (hydrogen into beryllium, lead into Zinc, etc.) if you wanted to make something with a higher atomic number, such as turning Iron (26) into Platinum (78), you require the starting Iron and an element equal to 53 or higher (iodine, tungsten) you would then be left with Platinum and another element, Iron and Iodine would equal Platinum and hydrogen, Iron and Tungsten would make Platinum and Titanium. 

Part 3) Fission/fusion within the body and nuclear power, the short answer would be to not include this power, this ability (as I understand it) is not only super broken, but would likely cause issues, the knowledge needed to use it would have to be a lot, the potential for destruction immense, the usability in the one piece world surprisingly little, and that’s a lot of understanding that I just… don’t understand (I’m a writer not a scientist). 

I hope you enjoyed this, I certainly enjoyed working on it. As a note, much of this information may be incorrect as I knew very little about this entire subject before working on this request, furthermore, I am not a scientist! I am a writer!

[netheritenugget]

Hi Roxy this is a excuse to gush about the magic system of eternal duo au please tell me more about it

OH NO YOU ACTIVATED MY INFODUMP TRAP CARD

OK so, this is basically the result of me trying to make sense of Minecraft's absolutely broken and confusing enchantment system, and seeing if I could turn it into a field of study for wizards.

The study of enchanting is one of four fields of wizardry (the other three being potions, god/occult magic, and alchemy) and it tends to be more scholarly than it first appears.

A lot of this concept is mostly based on this banger post, it's Google spreadsheet, and some discussion with @l1r1kk1 about how enchantments work, and it's a pretty fun post, but a little complicated-sounding. But I've managed to break things down into some basic rules/limitations:

Certain written words have power, and in the right order and context they can channel magic into certain controllable effects for human use. These words are from ancient languages, from before fall of Endlantis (most are Old Standard Galactic, but others are an ancient Piglin script, and Endlantian).

Enchantments are often painted on or carved into tools, weapons, armor, and items using lapis (though other minerals can be used, lapis is easiest and most aesthetically appealing). Then, magic (experience orbs) is pulled out of the body through a focus, with either an enchanting table and a library which can be used many many times, or an enchanted book with the spell on it, which disintegrates immediately afterwards from the raw power of the concentrated magic.

If you don't have enough "levels of magic" (experience levels), your enchantments will be shorter and less potent, or in some cases, just not have enough "juice" to cast successfully.

Enchantments are limited by knowledge of the words of power. If you don't know exactly what you're writing, usually by copying it from an existing enchanted book that you're using for a focus, you'll have to use an enchanting table and a library to try and piece together words of power yourself. Putting together spells like this has a high margin for error (for example, enchanting something with bane of arthropods instead of sharpness). Novices in enchanting often slap words together randomly to see what works, and grindstone the unwanted results off, which can lead to some success, but more often produces mixed results (bane of arthropods) and uses a lot of magic.

The longer-lasting and more high quality the material you're enchanting, the better, as having an object enchanted is expensive. The material components take time and energy to procure by yourself, and hiring someone else to do it costs money, but is more efficient.

Learning to enchant well is time-consuming and requires a lot of talent in multiple areas of expertise to learn. This is why wizards who specialize in studying enchanting require multiple years of linguistics, history, archeology, and other studies to understand. Many enchantment wizards also specialize into the craftsmanship aspect of the trade because it makes them more hireable, and it's easier to make items they enchant themselves. So enchanting businesses often have multiple wizards in their employ, specializing into their own fields of craftsmanship.

There's a reason the stereotypical wizard is old and grey, and it's because it takes a long time to learn and master this stuff.

The other magic fields are more straightforward.

The brewing of potions is potioneering. Blaze powder (which becomes infused with the potion) has high levels of concentrated magic in it, and changes based on what's added to them. It's a lot more like chemistry but it does cool things like make you able to swim in lava or make you invisible. Though for a majority of wizards in this field, it's more focused on pharmacology and medicine, as potions are important for the day-to-day life of an average person.

Foolish, a god, already possesses the words needed to call down lightning without a trident, because it's part of his domain as a deity. Occultism is the study of god magic, and it's mostly about studying the abilities of the gods themselves than trying to replicate it, though there are some wizards who dedicate their lives to doing so. It's very opposed by certain gods who like their privacy, and of course, certain religious extremist groups who would prefer that people don't ask questions. However, in general, it's a widely respected academic field.

Alchemy studies the magic of life and souls. On the practical side, this mostly involves the creation of golems for protecting civilization as we know it from monsters, using the life magic in pumpkins to bring golems to life. But on the theoretical side, it studies the 3 life system, the nature of the soul, and how immortality might be achieved through the right words of power. Currently no known methods of true immortality are known, but the properties of gold are currently being researched.

[fenristheorem]

Hi! First of all... You are a LEGEND🤩! Your head cons are sooooooo good. When I read theme I really get into the story and can feel the emotion you put on the characters, 💖its amazing! Not that long ago you did a head con of Erika being ok with Leiftan being a Demon. So I was wondering... Could you do a head con of Lance accepting to take Erika with him, were she becomes a demon and enters the plot with Lance against the guard🤔? It would be very interesting to se that.😊 Hope u have a good day, evening or night!

Oh thank you so much! 😄 That’s so kind of you to say, I don’t think you truly know how much I value your compliment! You’re so kind! 😊

I originally considered nearly completely re-writing the plot from episode 15 (I believe that’s when she asks him to take her) for this ask, but then realized I would be re-writing half the plot of Origins lol. That would take way too long to write (while including different emotions and perspectives and requiring knowledge that’s too hard to hunt down or doesn’t exist) so I decided to write this with a very broad spectrum of headcanons, including some major alternative events (usually not including the guard since she’ll be holed up in a secret place so Lance doesn’t need to watch out for her every second of every day) and Lance and Guardienne’s overall compatibility.

This is probably my most bizarre ask yet, in the manner of how I’ve responded, so brace yourself because there’s a few crazy moments in this lol. Also, there’s a bit of swearing in this - I have a tendency to write stories / headcanons in a pretty crude style sometimes.

~Under the cut~

Guardienne joins Lance against the guard:

To start off with, when Guardienne asked Lance to take her with him, she didn’t know his identity. He was still Ashkore to her. That changed somewhat quickly.

I theorize Lance did actually have some sort of “home base” deep within a forest or the mountains somewhat near the guard. He did have to sleep and eat after all. And where do you think he was taking all those supplies on the night Guardienne asked him to take her with him? Where do you think he stored that frying pan so dear to him? Buried it in the ground? Hung it on a tree branch for a Sabali to find later? Sure, he moved around a lot, but he had to keep his stolen resources somewhere, so he must have had a main cabin or cave or something that no one knew about that he made a temporary home of sorts.

Assuming that; that’s probably where he kept Guardienne most of the time after she came with him. Of course, he would be sure to restrict her movements for a while - after all, she could have asked to come merely to find out what a day in the life of Ashkore is like and then tell that to the guard - but once he realizes that she truly was compliant and happy to be there, even helping him by providing information he didn’t know already and taking care of basic chores like cooking and such so he can spend more time screwing with the guard, he loosened up and let her roam around his domain.

He kept personal things well hidden; any old drawings, weapons, and clothing. Basically anything he didn’t want her to touch... which was most of his stuff... but he was reasonable and didn’t restrain her too much. Just as long as she didn’t bother him and continued to help he didn’t mind her presence... too much anyways.

But again, it wasn’t too long before Guardienne found out his true identity. In reference to the existing plot-line, I imagine her finding out his identity in this AU long before she found out in the existing plot-line. After all - they’re living together now, and he needs to take off his mask and armor sometimes. Do you think he always sleeps in his mask? And armor for that case? What about when he eats or bathes? Certainly he can do most of those things in private, but I don’t see Lance demanding she turn her back every time he removes his mask and armor. I can see him doing that to begin with - when she’s restricted - but once he realizes she truly wants to help, he’ll find it to be inconvenient to always hide himself whenever he wants to do anything without his mask and armor. He’ll probably still want her to call him Ashkore, though... and that’ll be the case until she realizes his identity and refuses to call him anything but Lance.

Now I forget if she knew about Lance’s existence at the time of asking to leave with him (I believe she did), but since she never got a description I imagine it would take her a small while to connect the dots once she's living with him. She would certainly have theories that Ashkore is Lance, and she would certainly irritate the utter crap out of him with countless questions regarding possible confirmation or hints to back up her theory, but she wouldn’t get many answers. Either he would ignore her, or turn to level his icy stare on her. She would quickly understand that he’s not interested in answering questions about his identity and past. He eventually threatened to cut her tongue out a few times if she kept asking nonsensical questions, but she didn't seem to care much and he eventually let it be; perhaps he realized that she would be even more irritating then. She wouldn't be able to speak easily without her tongue, but her resolve is steady, so she'd still try to find some way to speak with him - and then he'd still need to deal with her questions in whatever way she deemed fit, which included investing time to learn this new way of communication. Threatening her friends wouldn't work as she doesn't consider the guard her friends, so Lance came to recognize that's it better to just deal with her questions and ignore her.

However, he would answer general questions that couldn’t be used heavily against him if she were captured and questioned; why is he trying to destroy the crystal, what’s with his grudge against Eldarya, what does he know about the Blue Sacrifice? From his answers she can put a few logical pieces together. The Eldaryans don’t deserve to live? They’re disrespecting the kind gift of life the dragons gave them? They were apparently forced to sacrifice? Then hunted down after the sacrifice despite their generous gesture? Well he must be a dragon, since angels didn’t end up sacrificing and he speaks so passionately about them. And Valk said he was faelien, so either he lied and does know or Ashkore (being Lance in her theory) somehow found out their genetics while Valk remained clueless to it. And they look so similar, they would have to be brothers. Ashkore’s story started around the same time that Lance apparently died? Lance apparently fought valiantly and passionately for the things he believed in, like what she’s seen with Ashkore? Goodness are the pieces adding up now.

Guardienne would eventually approach him about her theory and he would respond with a cold hiss.

“What, you want a reward? A pat on the back and a ‘well done’? Why does my identity matter to you?”

He never said a direct yes - he was basically incapable of responding calmly or reasonably with touchy subjects - but she would know she has it right. 

You would think them being on different sides of the war would mean they’d be more likely to try and kill each other, right? Wrong. Them being around each other all the time, I believe, leads them to be more likely to kill each other. Why? Recall episode 26 - their overall chemistry. Regardless of if choices made increased the LOM or decreased it, bizarre, entertaining conversation between the two still ensued. The main thing with that episode was that Lance became emotionally vulnerable as time went on, so actual tender...-ish moments came about where both of them were taken seriously but gently. Now imagine both of them - neither of them in vulnerable moments - being around the other constantly, both working together but still stepping on each other’s toes. Guardienne wants to make a meal; where’s this ingredient? What’s the ingredient compatibility? What do these things taste like? That’s not a food, that’s an alchemy ingredient? AND WHERE IS THE GODDAMN FRYING PAN!? (*cue Lance in the background clutching the pan and hissing at Guardienne*). Now Lance - who’s holed himself up in a private room - needs to plan his next attack on the guard; he needs this map of the layout, and this item to help him plan. He can use this pathway to- “Hey Lance?” ... Silence - if he pretends he’s not in there she’ll surely leave... Anyways, this pathway will probably be the safest, and his destination is there. Leiftan can- “Lance, I know you’re there, don’t ignore me!” ... Leiftan can- “Where’s the corn!?” Oh by the Oracle! But what the hell is corn? He’ll go to the door and crack it open only enough to give her an odd look. “Small, yellow, hard grain but smooth? About the size of a fingernail?” ... “Back right, lower pantry.” He’ll slam the door and hover over the map again. Ok, Leiftan... yes, that’s what he was going to do. Then he’ll have access to- “Oh - where’s the big pot?” *SLAM* Pain will shoot up his arm from his fist as the table shakes and he turns his head to seethe at the woman through the door. “You’ve lived here for weeks, you know where it is!” “Well you seem to have an obsession with hiding things, so actually I don’t because everything is always moved around!” He’ll rush to the door and fling it open to glare down at her. The door and it’s frame creak unsteadily at his tight grip as he looms over her. “Find. It. Yourself.”  He’ll go to recede back into the room but she’ll grab his shirt and pull him into the room she’s in - he’ll snarl at her in response. “I’ve tried looking for it, it’s impossible to find.” She’ll hiss back at him with folded arms. “I’m busy planning.” He growls at her. “Well take a break then.” She snaps as they stare each other down... Silence again... “You make me want to kill myself.” “Don’t. You need to destroy the guard first.” He throws his hand back towards the door he was stolen from with a wild look in his scathing eyes; what did she think he was planning for in there!? “You gonna help me or what?” She speaks as if this is completely alright. He nearly shouts in rage as he slams his fist against the wall - pain shooting up his arm a second time - before pacing and clutching his head, eventually resigning to stomping towards the makeshift kitchen - not caring about whether she follows - and tearing through his stores to find the pot. He’ll throw it on the counter and cast a livid glare at her as he passes to head back to planning. “Well goodness, you didn’t need to throw a tantrum over it.” He whirls around and nearly leaps on her - she’s helping to destroy the crystal, she’s helping to destroy the crystal, she’s helping to destroy the crystal, WHY DOES A POT MATTER RIGHT NOW!?

So yes, they’re more likely to attempt to kill each other when on the same side; only because they’re alone and around each other more so they can chew on each other's nerves more.

However, as time carries on and they spend more time together, they actually begin to... enjoy each other's presence sometimes - not even sometimes; a good portion of the time. Sure they have moments where they argue and are a breath away from stabbing each other, but there are also moments where they aren’t treading on the other, by accident or purposeful. In these moments, they see a different side of each other - a good side of each other.

Guardienne quickly picks up on how passionate, resolute, and intelligent Lance is, noting that he’ll spend hours on end studying texts he’s found and maps of the areas the guard will be around next. He’ll carry these texts and maps around with him as he ghosts around their make-shift home, spending most of his days off curled up next to a small indoor fireplace and moving only for a few moments to take a quick break. Ironically, Guardienne leaves him alone to study more when he studies within her presence rather than when he locks himself alone in a separate area for hours, so in time Lance realizes he’s less likely to be interrupted if he studies in their living room/common area. As he begins to study more within her sight, Guardienne begins to see what he studies - and many of those things provide great insight for her regarding knowing Lance better. These things can range from different languages, histories and cultures, maps, geography, alchemy, mission reports (stolen from the guard of course) and even a few books touching on warfare, philosophy and psychology - what little of those latter texts exists in their world, at least. Guardienne begins to realize that, while Lance is very set on destroying the guard and the crystal, he’s also much more than just a man who wishes to exact revenge. He studies these texts to learn how to use it to his advantage, sure, but he also seems to have a genuine interest in these subjects. She even interrupted him one day - finding that he was oddly patient with answering this specific question - to ask if he perhaps ever grows bored of learning about these things, stressing that it’s a good idea to take a break from working constantly all the time - only for him to respond that he doesn’t view all of it as work. Some subjects he’s less interested in but are necessary to know for his agenda of revenge, but in the case where he’s feeling drained from that he’ll turn to reading another subject that he’s more interested in and go back to it later. She sometimes resigns to observing him as he studies - and she knows that Lance knows she watches him by the way his gaze will flick over to her every once and a while - but eventually she’ll begin to ask exactly what’s written in the books or what he’s thinking regarding the maps, asking to try to get to know his thought process better or just having nothing better to do at the moment. This is how Guardienne learns to grow closer to him; he doesn’t snap at her half as much when he explains what he’s studying, and he explains things in such a way that she doesn’t need to interrupt him to ask him to explain it better. In turn, she also begins to learn a bit about what he’s studying and can provide a bit of her own interesting input. Occasionally they debate these topics with one another, and Lance is actually very temperate when debating these things - he can speak in beautiful, grand tones about certain subjects, clearly showing just how much he’s interested in it. His eyes will glow with a warmth and passion that seems to dull even the indoor fire that burns with an eternal energy. These moments of enthusiasm actually entertain her greatly, and she begins to realize that she truly enjoys being around him in these moments. However, this also leads to minor conversations about his past, usually sparked from conversing about past experiences in these fields, and Guardienne witnesses firsthand the icing over of his personality from the reminder of his past. She’ll mention anything about his past; the village he lived in, his brother, his time in the guard, any memories he has, and the lively shimmer in his eyes will dull. His shoulders will drop and gaze will be cast to the floor as he bows his head slightly, a weight seeming to settle on him as he stares into a void for just a few mere moments. Then his facial features will harden, a stone cold look will invade his eyes and he’ll straighten again despite the clear effort it takes for him to stand tall. His formerly lively, sonorous tone will harden into cold, scathing words that are nearly spat out as he closes himself off, snapping and growling at her if she attempts to connect with him again. It’s from these continuous experiences that she recognizes something important; he's not truly as evil as he seems - he's wounded and aches for his reality to not be what it is now, and he seeks every day to ease that torturous pain, believing that that pain can only be eased by hurting others, by showing them just how much he’s hurt from his knowledge. Nobody is born evil, she realizes - he’s cruel only because he feels this is the only way he can deal with the pain of reality.

In turn, she tries her best to be understanding and comforting when she can. She understands, in some ways, his pain of knowing about the guard and sacrifice - she’s against the guard as well for her own reasons not too different than his - and seeing just how much Lance has broken because of the guard - just like her - only makes her want to burn it to the ground more. Lance notices this in time; where she once always pushed him to tell her more about his past and identity and reasoning, she’s now willing to drop the subject for a while or ask in a manner that’s more... considerate or empathetic. She begins to overlook his snapping and huffing at her, and instead focuses more on what he says and his reaction to those words instead of his irritation at her persistence. As Guardienne comes to understand Lance more, she realizes that he actually enjoys her company as well, even if he won’t admit it. He’ll jump at the chance to explain and debate his studies with her, and when she backs off of a sensitive topic she accidentally tread on for a while, he’ll be more temperate if she returns in a few hours and touches at the topic again, provided she approaches it in a neutral, tactful way. After all, the topic she wishes to speak about is a reminder of or is the exact reason he went from honorable and righteous to cruel and destructive - in his perception, if she doesn’t know how to approach it in a cautious, gentle manner then she doesn’t deserve to know exactly what happened and why it bothers him so much. However, she does learn this in in time, and he eventually allows her to listen to his most personal thoughts on... well, nearly everything. As they grow to understand each other better, she begins to provide a bit of support for him. He’s been alone for so long that sometimes he wonders if he’s truly losing his mind, but her presence reminds him that he’s not as lost as he thinks sometimes. Guardienne becomes a grounding force for him. She willingly - happily - listens to his rants and stories of his past if he agrees to talk about it, even if he’s fuming and raging the whole time, and eventually she can actually calm him down a bit. As much as he wishes to maintain a distance between them, in time he can’t help but grow a bit protective over her for personal reasons; her perspectives agree with his, she readily and willingly - even humorously, sometimes - puts up with his temperamental outbursts, eagerly speaks with him about basically anything, and wants to do something about what she feels is right or wrong. He refuses to fully acknowledge the hold she has on him - he’s not supposed to be attached to anyone in any way if his mission is to succeed- but when he stares at her as she nestles next to a stream, eyes bright and curious with innocence as she watches shimmering native fish glide by and turns to him to ask why they’re swimming up-stream instead of down, he can’t help but forget his past and feel normal with her.

She’ll eventually be made aware of Leiftan and Chrome as well. Not at first, but when Lance drags her half-way across Eldarya with him because he needs to fuck with the guard in foreign lands she’ll be dragged into their late-night-hang-out-meetings.

Leiftan quickly takes to her, Lance notices, and this is also how - in this version of the story - Guardienne finds out about her genetics. They need her strength in the war, so Leiftan will enlighten her and encourage her to train her abilities, even helping her in the few moments he can.

Lance quickly snaps at him, making sure he knows he can’t jeopardize his fake role within the guard to train her late in the night. He comes up with all sorts of excuses and aggressively reminds Leif that he can’t spend too much time around her. She’s supposed to not exist anymore and Leiftan needs to pretend like nothing is going on.

Really, though, Lance is just feeling threatened. He doesn’t want his personal source of information, good food, and entertainment to be wooed and stolen away. Good luck getting him to admit that, though.

Lance believes she’s safest with him; he’s the one outside the guard and his location and activities are unknown most of the time. All he needs to do is keep her veiled in that shroud of mysterious unknown to the guard and she’ll be impossible to find. Of course, she won’t want to just sit around forever. She’ll eventually want to be more proactive in helping him destroy the guard, and he’ll argue it at first until she becomes just so annoying that he can’t possibly stand it anymore! It’s either she helps or he kills her because she won’t shut up, so he trains her; hard and brutally. He’ll train her in how to master her demon abilities, how to gain the upper hand in any fight with any enemy, the most lethal points of different creatures, the most lethal tactics she could use, how to improve her strength, stamina, speed and stealth. He was once Chief of the Obsidian Guard; he knows how to turn a weak, scraggly runt into a masterful, fearsome warrior. When he finally sees fit, he’ll gift her with personalized equipment - bought or made specifically by him - so she can slink around the guard late at night with him. Of course, he’ll demand that she call him Ashkore on premises - or anywhere except home, really - but she’ll follow his lead in that case; she knows how important it is to remain unknown.

So how exactly do these restock or attack missions go? Well, she’s usually brought along for restock missions - where no one is supposed to know they were there in the first place - in which case her role is to stay quiet and help him throw stuff into the bag. She’ll typically be left to carrying the bags unless there’s one that’s too heavy for her to remain quiet - he’ll take the heavier bags. Lance will usually be busy designing their path out and planning their timing correctly while she focuses on following him. He doesn’t really take her on attack missions, though. He wants her to remain unknown. If a feminine figure is suddenly working with him not too long after Guardienne’s disappearance, especially since it was clear there was a rift between her and the guard, then suspicions will rise, and unfortunately those questions could then begin trace further back to reflect on Lance’s death and Ashkore’s appearance due to the similar time-frame of events. Basically, their stories and disappearance/death to villain appearance time-frame would begin to mirror each other. If she was to remain unknown then she can’t directly fight the guard, so no attack missions for her. However, Lance isn’t against turning a restock mission into a restock-attack mission if he sees the chance - he’ll just make sure she’s basically safe the rest of the way back home before enacting on it, even going as far as retracing his steps back to the guard to cause trouble.

In the original plot-line, it seems that most of the time when Lance, Leiftan and Guardienne are fighting each other it’s due mainly to the fact that Leiftan abandons the plans against the guard because he's in love with Guardienne, Lance wants Leiftan to continue against the guard, and then he realizes he needs Guardienne out of the picture so Leiftan forgets about her and so he can gain some other information he needs/use her as leverage against the guard. Since in this AU, she's happily on their side (so Leiftan isn't abandoning his plans against the guard and Lance has all access to her power/information) I can see a bit less of a rift among their team as their plans harmonize together. Instead of Leiftan and Lance fighting, Lance kidnapping Guardienne, Lance becoming reckless by putting off breaking the crystal, and many other things happening caused by the rift between them, they’d most likely collaborate and work together better, and they’d be more coordinated in attacks and better at getting to the crystal. Of course, it’s possible that Leiftan may have wanted Eldarya to be saved at some point so he could spend his life with Guardienne, but seeing how Leiftan would do nearly anything for her throughout the original plot-line, I wouldn’t be surprised if he continued his efforts against the guard knowing that she’d want him to in this AU. It would also help knowing that the guard hurt her many times in many ways, so he’d be seeking revenge for that as well.

Dragging Guardienne around Eldarya with Lance, however, has risks and consequences that could come down on top of them if not careful. One such issue is the fact that, while Lance is very good at evading the guard, occasionally he’s caught and is sent on a wild-goose chase trying to flee from them. This occasionally can put Guardienne at risk of being found out, as she’s nearly always close to him, but Lance has considered this possibility a long time ago and has already devised a plan during these times to avoid from any heavy repercussions falling back on them. He’s just fine with fleeing with her - he knows how to keep her out of sight and her equipment is lightweight enough so that she has no trouble moving swiftly and flexibly if needed - but he’s realized that it may not be the smartest idea to have her fleeing with him while clearly seeming to be working with him. Instead, Lance realized, it would be a good idea for her to act as though she’s a hostage if she’s about to be revealed. That way, if she’s captured at any point in the future, she can play the innocent victim who knows nothing, and the guard - while persistent in finding out anything she may know, no matter how little the information may be- certainly won’t hurt their precious Guardienne who has already been through so much while in the clutches of the evil Ashkore. If she’s seen as a hostage, she can use excuses like “I’m sorry, it just so hard to talk about so soon... can we continue this later”, “I honestly don’t remember much, I was so busy focusing on a possible way of escaping that I didn’t pay much attention to that detail”, and “He kept me locked away in a certain area, I don’t know if there were any landmarks around that could point to his location” to deter their questioning and buy time before she needs to reveal anything actually important, else she look like she’s protecting him. Acting as a hostage will also assure that she won’t be thrown in the prison and guarded the whole time; so being free to roam around the guard while buying time to keep important information a secret will allow Lance the time to plan a rescue mission - disguised as another easy kidnapping since she won’t be guarded - to return her to their side. This is merely a backup plan if they know she’ll likely be captured at some point, and it will only work if the guard is unaware of a female figure helping him out, but provided that everything goes smoothly it should be a solid plan with little negative effects. However, this can’t happen more than once or twice; the first time will be easily accepted by the guard, the second time she plays the innocent, panicking fool she’ll be walking the line between seeming suspicious or if she’s truly that foolish, and for her sake the second time she will need to reveal some important information. A third time and the guard would know that something is up.

These hostage situations can get quite amusing for Guardienne - despite how fragile the situation is - and, frankly, Lance would snap at her every time she snickers about this, except he finds these situations absolutely hilarious as well. They’ll be running around Eldarya, the guard occasionally cornering them before they flee, and Guardienne will do her best to attack Lance in ways that are weak enough to not actually effect anything, but are strong enough to make it look like she’s truly trying to escape. Is the guard within ear-shot and they know they’ll be found out eventually? Great, Lance has an escape plan to get out of there already, so Guardienne can throw a screeching hissy-fit at him to make it seem like she’s trying to escape. Sometimes this can aid them as well, as they can set up a maze that the guard will certainly come running through to find Guardienne, following the sound of her struggle, only to then be trapped somewhere because Lance has traps set up that Guardienne certainly couldn’t have known about since she’s a hostage. Other times she’ll do her best to attack Lance - but let’s face it, even if he did train her she would still have a hard time bringing him down if their fight was serious - and he’ll quickly disarm her in front of the guard before finding a way to gain distance from them again. This is all just to reconfirm the illusion that she’s a hostage to the guard, and of course they panic every time and believe it, but it’s knowing that they’re running circles around the guard - bringing them here and having her bait them to this location so Lance can attack them, or leading them to discover a certain fact at some point so they think they have a useful piece of information on Lance when in fact Lance is using that to draw them out in confidence so he can crush them - that they find truly amusing. The guard is being played this whole time and they keep falling for it. Even Lance can’t help but laugh at a few moments of running the guard around with Guardienne later, when they’re no longer in danger.

Of course, this all leads up to the grand finale; the final shattering of the crystal. I imagine this happening much sooner than in the original plot-line because Guardienne isn’t a hindering factor anymore, and I can see it happening with much more ease than how it originally played out. Perhaps they’ll lure the important members of the guard to another land - letting them think that they’ve caught Guardienne’s trail over there - and launch their final attack when no one who can stop them is around. They might decide to fuck with the guard one last time, running them around within the guard while Lance infiltrates the crystal room. Perhaps they decide to go out with a bang and capture the important members of the guard, binding them and closing off the crystal room so they can reveal their identities and the guard can watch as the people that were once held dear to them destroy their world while they’re helpless to do anything. It doesn’t matter much how it happens, though, at this point - with an angered dragon and two powerful demons - there’s nothing that the guard can do to stop them. In some ways it will hurt, knowing that this is the end of their beautiful story of revenge, but - no matter what happens after this - they’ll know they succeeded, and that will be the last truth Eldarya will ever know.

I think this may be one of the longer headcanons that I’ve written so far, and I’m very pleased with how it turned out! Also, Tumblr ate this ask while it was a draft once or twice (it was in the 3-draft radius of asks that were at risk of being eaten so it disappeared a few times) so it did take a bit longer to write than I’d hoped, but fortunately no progress had been deleted so I’m just fine with that.

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[curligurl0896]

So getting to read @thejakeformerlyknownasprince 's FMA AU reminded me of my own ideas for a FMA/Animorphs fic. A crossover, in this case, a Megamorphs of sorts (complete with rotating narration) because I really want an excuse to have the Animorphs interact with the characters of the FMA universe. I don't have enough ideas worked out to confidently write a whole fanfic yet, so I think I'll just share some of my ideas so that at least they don't stay inside my head forever like the vast majority of ideas that I either never finish enough to post it or just never get around to at all, especially when my brain is always generating new plot bunnies instead of focusing on developing the ones I already have, it's so distracting lol

(Also maybe y'all could give some suggestions if you wanna, I'd definitely appreciate it lol)

Anyway, here it is:

First off, the answer as to how exactly the Animorphs end up in the FMA universe: I was kicking around a few ideas for this, and was originally thinking something along the lines of like, a freak accident that somehow results in them ending up in front of the Gate of Truth, but I think a better idea would be for an alchemist (or perhaps even several alchemists) to end up in the Aniverse, get Yeerkified, and the Yeerk (or Yeerks, as it may be), intrigued by the memories and knowledge of an alternate Earth where you can manipulate matter and shape it according to your will with nothing more than a well drawn chalk circle (or even less than that if you've been through the Gate, as the Yeerk(s) will eventually discover), lured in by the idea of a legendary object that supposedly can be used to circumvent a pesky little law known as Equivalent Exchange, decides to pull something of a "Tom's Yeerk and his Yeerk buddies a la book 52" deciding to start their own colony in the FMAverse where they won't have to answer to the Council of Thirteen or the Visserarchy (well, at least the ones higher ranked than the Yeerk in charge, who, I imagine, would have to be a Sub-Visser at the very least to have the power to arrange all this) in addition to being able to use alchemy, which, much like the morphing power, can be used for a massive variety of things, ranging from merely convenient to pretty damn useful in a pinch to OP as fuck to even just downright terrifying.

It takes a lot of time and meticulous planning, of course, as they have to find a way to transport the Yeerks, their ship, and all the other stuff they'll need to thrive over there through the Gate and into the FMAverse-- all while in a universe where alchemy flat out doesn't work. The Yeerks have to figure out how to get around that issue, and it takes at least a year of research and using their new hosts' alchemical knowledge to work out a solution, but they work it out, and soon enough they get everything set up and ready to go. At some point, the Chee find out about this secret unknown project going on, inform the Animorphs about it, and Jake decides that they should at least check it out on the off chance that it's something big.

That's where the story officially starts: with our team of traumatized teenage shapeshifters at the location where this thing is being set up (haven't figured out the where yet). They've spent the past several days spying on these Yeerks, but still aren't sure what exactly is going on-- they keep talking about opening a gate-- and aren't sure if it's worth it. Marco's convinced the whole thing is ridiculous, especially after overhearing a human Controller mention something about a "Philosopher's Stone" ("What is this, Harry Potter? Are they gonna wave wooden sticks around and yell in Latin?") . Rachel is bored at this point, and just wants to kick ass and call it a day-- they were probably up to no good anyway. Cassie isn't particularly keen on the asskicking part, but she's been having a bad feeling about all this that she can't shake, and Tobias agrees that something fishy is going on and says they should wait a few days-- after all, from what they've gleaned, whatever plans these Yeerks had would be set in motion very soon. Ax, being Ax, declares as usual that he'll just go along with whatever Prince Jake orders, though when Jake presses him about his opinion, he just says he isn't sure what to make of it. In the end, they keep it up for a couple more days, and sure enough, the time comes for the Yeerks to "open the gate", whatever that means.

After all the time they'd spent spying on the Yeerks, it is conveniently now, when the Yeerks are about to do their thing, that they're discovered. It quickly turns into a fight, and the Animorphs attempt to bail as they're soon overwhelmed-- and then the Gate is opened.

None of them had any idea what to expect next. They certainly weren't expecting the blue lightning that erupted around them in a massive circle, seeming to originate from the curving lines that had been so painstakingly carved into the floor. They aren't expecting the atmosphere to turn dark and purple and creepy, or for a giant grey eye to suddenly appear beneath them, or for wavy black tentacle arms to come out of that eye. And they definitely were NOT expecting to abruptly find themselves in the white void of Zerospace.

Only they aren't in Z-space, exactly. Surrounded by it, sure, but somehow they stand there, as if on solid ground, surrounded by the eerie blankness that had once nearly suffocated them to death.

Each Animorph is utterly alone, with nothing and no one else in sight. That is, until they hear a voice, one that sounds like several voices speaking in unison, and suddenly they see a figure-- or, more accurately, an outline of a figure, with only shadows to mark where the figure ended and the void began. The figure is shaped like a human in all but Ax and Tobias's case: the figure Ax sees is shaped like an Andalite, and Tobias's version takes the form of a bird.

Truth gives the whole "I am God, I am the world, and I am also you" speech, then informs them they can't pass through the Gate without payment. Suddenly, there's a huge gateway where previously there was nothing. Truth is unconcerned with the fact that these "A-ni-morphs" have zero clue what's going on-- it simply takes the required toll and sends them on their way.

Except the toll is literal body parts-- which, even then, isn't usually a big deal for an Animorph, but in this case it absolutely is a big deal, because, as they'll soon discover, there's no way they're going to just replace their lost limbs through morphing. It's expressly forbidden for one to simply have nice things in this universe; in other words, Truth isn't letting them off the hook that easily.

The discovery that they're not able to replace their lost body parts through morphing is especially horrifying to Ax, because, well, y'know... book 40. The one that every Ax fan, and really anyone who otherwise genuinely enjoys Ax's character, would like to pretend never fucking happened.

In fact, given Truth's precedent for irony when extracting payment from people who've opened/been through the Gate in the series, I have no doubt in my mind that Ax would end up suffering the exact same fate as Mertil. Andalites, after all, place high value on their tail blades, especially the warriors; it's their number one go-to weapon when shit hits the fan. Ax himself is such a warrior, in fact it's a huge part of who he is as a person. Needless to say I think yeeting Ax's tail blade would be the exact kind of twisted irony that Truth would employ.

He gets over himself eventually-- well, sort of. However, it takes him a long time to truly come to terms with it-- instead of accepting that the attitudes he'd been taught his whole life regarding those who aren't fully able-bodied are actually shit, I feel like he'd be more likely to double down on them, internalizing them, and actually go into full-on self loathing as a result.

He holds his metaphorical tongue, though, upon seeing that Tobias has suffered a payment that is arguably far more cruelly ironic-- given that Tobias is a bird, given that his initial attraction to the morph that eventually became his default body came from the sense of freedom and escapism only provided through flying, I think it's fairly obvious what Truth would take: his wings.

As for the others: Rachel has lost her arm (for basically the same reason Ed did), Cassie loses her hands (which she uses to, you know, help injured animals and stuff), and as for Jake... well, it was a bit of a struggle, the best I could come up with is the idea of him going blind much like Mustang did after being forced to open the Gate (though maybe not for the same reason, though... idk. If anyone has any better suggestions, please let me know lol, I couldn't think of any solid ideas for what body part would be ironic for Jake to lose). Marco is the only one who doesn't lose any outwardly visible body parts-- what he loses is his voice.

At some point, they are discovered, taken into custody by the Amestrian military, and eventually they end up in Colonel Mustang's office. Mustang listens to their story with a massive dose of skepticism. He isn't sure what to make of these bizarre barefoot children, nor their claims of fighting bodysnatching slugs from outer space by turning into animals, nor their wingless pet hawk, nor... well, he could only assume the other creature was some sort of chimera, although he had zero clue what animals could have possibly been used to make something with blue fur and extra eyes.

At this point, they're about to do a morphing demonstration to prove to the Colonel that they aren't completely batshit, when suddenly the door is slammed open, and a teenage boy with blond hair and sharp golden eyes comes sauntering in, accompanied by a hulking giant covered head to toe in a suit of armor.

The boy immediately starts shouting at Mustang, calling him a bastard and accusing him of wasting his time, to which Mustang responds by merely rolling his eyes and sighing, as if this sort of thing happens all the time (spoiler alert: it does). After a moment, the kid stops as he takes notice of the other kids standing in the room.

"So," he says, calmly, as if he wasn't yelling at his superior just a moment ago, "what's the deal with these fuckers?"

The casual use of the kind of language that would have surely landed them in hot water back home was quite shocking, but they don't comment on it. Instead, Rachel says, in a voice sweet as honey, "Oh, look, Marco. He's just as short as you are."

Before Marco could turn to glare daggers at her (come on, it wasn't like he could argue back in that moment), the boy goes absolutely ballistic, and the armored guy has to physically restrain him as he screams obscenities at Rachel ("The fuck did you just call me, you freakishly oversized bitch? I'll show you too-fucking-short-to-fucking-sit-at-the-fucking-table-without-a-fucking-booster-seat! Call me short one more fucking time, I fucking dare you to! You think I give a shit that you're a girl? I'll fuck that pretty face of yours right up, just you fucking wait--")

"Brother!" The armored guy cries. "Calm down!" Then, to the Animorphs: "I'm sorry about my brother's behavior. He's, um, a bit sensitive about his height."

"A bit sensitive" is the understatement of the century, but none of the Animorphs call him out on it. They're too dumbfounded by the sound of his voice, which sounds sweet, innocent, and, despite his size, sounds like it belonged to a boy no more than nine or ten years old.

And that's where I'm going to leave it for now, since I've spent way too long on this post already. I have a few other ideas, but mostly in bits and pieces, not really any more comprehensive plot points beyond this point. Please do let me know what you think!

[yostresswritinggirl]

Scholars’ Chit Chat Prologue Submission

XXX

Cyno x Reader (Platonic, possibly romantic in the future)

*Lore dump warning

*Spoilers for all the Archon Quests and speculations of Teyvat

*Really it’s all serious talk

XXX

This is basically how you and Cyno met

XXX

The libraries of Sumeru are quiet, like how they’re suppose to be.

It is a new semester after all, the freshmen are still getting a grasp of the large campus, though Cyno does guess that soon enough they will be awed of this place.

Walking among the tall shelves, he tries to locate the section he had been researching on, but a voice calls out to him, breaking his concentration.

“Hey, you ever thought of why were you given a Vision?”

He turns to the source of the voice, only to see you there, sitting on top of one of the book shelves as your legs dangled from it.

“I would say that it is a question worth discovering with my entire life.”

“Huh, to think that you would answer so naturally… Wouldn’t one first ask who I am or ask why would I want to know that?”

“Because, first, I know who you are and second, those who come to this place seek knowledge.”

“Oh, so I had become the talk of school despite me being here for the first day?”

“Indeed, you were known as one who had declared to not take part in any sort of Mysticism studies yet aim to unveil the mysteries of this world. They called you naive yet you had earned the highest scholarship obtainable. It’s kind of hard to not let such news spread out.”

“Well, there are certainly advantages and disadvantages with this commotion, but that’s not my main focus anyways.”

“And may I ask what that would be?”

“To search for answers to fulfil my contract with the God of Wisdom.”

“Contract?”he questions, not capable of following your conversation, you slyly smiled at this.

“Unfortunately, this upcoming topic requires a fee to unlock~ I don’t mind sharing my findings to others, but when it comes to something as rare as words from an archon….”

“You get the idea, a price is required for everything after all.”

“…”

Cyno stared at you as if you were pulling his leg, but his reaction made you smirk even more.

“Oh, I won’t be asking for much, something like… Your name, perhaps?”

Suddenly realising that he hadn’t introduced himself yet and was reminded in such a playful matter, Cyno couldn’t help but let out an embarrassed chuckle.

“My apologies, I forgot to introduce myself. I’m Cyno, a pleasure to meet you.”

“Hmm… You know that one’s name is important, right? Names hold power, not necessary the one given by your parents but the one that defines your soul. There are quite a few stories mentioning that giving your name to someone is the same as giving a part of their soul to them.”

The male however lets out a laugh at your advice.

“Thanks for the warning, I’ll keep that on mind.”

“It was nothing, and to the end of my bargain, yes…’ you began as you jumped off the shelf, landing right in front of him. “Well, it’s more like a bet than a contract if I’m being honest.”

“Which is?”

“To find out the truth behind Khaen-riah’s fall, or more specifically, the reason behind the alchemist Gold’s fall, before I graduate.”

“?!”

The kingdom that had technology and Mysticism developed greatly even without an archon, then was destroyed five hundred years ago.

Not much is known about Khaen-riah, and yet...

Cyno, was shocked, no, shocked isn’t enough to describe how he’s feeling.

“That’s... nearly impossible, isn’t it? Just what sort of offer did he gave you to tip the scales-”

“If I succeeded, he would answer me anything I want to know about.”

“A-Anything?”

“That’s right~”

...

“What happens... If you fail?”

Everything comes with a price, as you had said.

“Then my life would be in his hands, for him to decide my fate.”

Despite only knowing you for not long, Cyno cannot believe what you had risked.

“Are you out of your mind?! What would you possibly want to know that you’re willing to-”

“To understand the laws of this world.” You answered one a simple matter.

“It has been so long that the human race had been existing and yet none of us came close in finding the truth of the world...”

“Or perhaps someone did, and they failed to tell anyone?”

“Even Khaen-riah itself is advance with Alchemy, history tells us that their greatest alchemist Gold fell and became quite a threat... But why...?”

“...”

“What I’m trying to say is that we’re too trusting towards the gods cause we’re told to do so since we were born, you know what I had learnt after being tricked once? Doubt everything when you first see it, question it’s existence and see if you can use another point of view to perceive it.”

“Why do you doubt the gods?”

“That’s because I believe in humanity’s wisdom. I believe that even without the gods, humanity can still take care of themselves as fine.”

“If you need to rely on someone else in order to live, then what’s the meaning of living in the first place?”

“This is... quite a lot...” Cyno mumbled.

“It is a lot to take in, I agree.” You nodded as you leaned against a shelf.

“Our senior Lisa left this place after mere two years and went to Mondstadt to be a librarian despite her being a genius the Academia hasn’t seen for 200 years... Is it because she saw something that nobody else realised?”

“So what you’re saying is... There’s more to the bigger picture?” Cyno guessed as you snapped your fingers. “Bingo.”

“But that being said, questioning the gods is the same thing as raging treason against this world... “ Cyno pointed out with worry. “Are you sure this is what you want?”

“Indeed, *I’m trying to understand the rules of this chess game, so that humanity, the supposed audience of this game gets the chance to participate in it.”

“And if we can win this chess game or not, is entirely up to our legacy...”

“You have too much belief in humanity... Or should I say you have no intention of losing in the first place?”Cyno predicted with a sigh.

“Hm, seeing that you’re being so interested in our bet, perhaps you would like to become my partner in crime?”

Hearing this, Cyno finally realised that he was tricked at the point when he answered your question about his Vision.

“So that was what you were going after for all along, huh?”

“Haha, yup~ I mean, our archon didn’t state anything about not able to team up with others, so why not?”

“Able to ask anything from the God of Wisdom himself, what else more can a scholar wish for?”

Cyno understand that your words are trying to lure him, but in truth, who can give up this opportunity?

“I mean, even if we fail, I’m the only one who would lose anything so it really sounds like a pretty good deal to me~”

“And would you mind me asking for a warrant from you for the time I would be spending on this?”Cyno requested, surprising you for a bit.

“Well, how about my name? You’ve heard about me but haven’t known that yet, correct? With a part of our souls in each other’s hands, no one can run off easily, don’t you think so?”

“Alright I accept the of your con-”

“It’s a promise, not a contract.”

Cyno pauses at your sudden seriousness, he then takes notice of the frown on your face.

“...”

“You want this partnership to be built on trust and not just a piece of paper?” He guessed.

You softly nodded, trying not to meet him in the eyes.

But there’s no way that he would accept that, you two only just met after all-

“Then I promise, that I will be your partner in crime upon this bet against the Dendro Archon.”

Wha-?!

Cyno offers you a small smile. “Everyone has their own reasons, I too wish that I can understand you better within these few years... That is if you wish, of course.”

I’m glad.

“Yeah, likewise, Cyno.”

“I also by offering my name, promise that we will find out the laws of this world and allow humanity to earn the chance to be a part of this chess game.”

“My name is-“

XXX

*The chess game is referencing The Feynman Lectures on Physics, it is also referenced from Honkai Impact 3rd (another game of MiHoYo) Honkai Quest event by the character Delta, it is possible that it works as well for the world of Teyvat.

(One way that's kind of a fun analogy to try to get some idea of what we're doing here to try to understand nature is to imagine that the gods are playing some great game like chess. Let's say a chess game. And you don't know the rules of the game, but you're allowed to look at the board from time to time, in a little corner, perhaps. And from these observations, you try to figure out what the rules are of the game, what [are] the rules of the pieces moving.

You might discover after a bit, for example, that when there's only one bishop around on the board, that the bishop maintains its color. Later on you might discover the law for the bishop is that it moves on a diagonal, which would explain the law that you understood before, that it maintains its color. And that would be analogous we discover one law and later find a deeper understanding of it.

Ah, then things can happen--everything's going good, you've got all the laws, it looks very good--and then all of a sudden some strange phenomenon occurs in some corner, so you begin to investigate that, to look for it. It's castling--something you didn't expect.)

And welp, Exiled, mind me adding this?

-To their future child(ren)

And this is how your parents met//slap

With the Gnosis shaped as chess pieces and with MiHoYo’s other games referencing this...

Well theories will be theories until they’re truly revealed.

Until then Snowdrop’s gonna freak out on what the heck I just wrote

There will be continuations... Just please don’t look forward to it... OwO

Oh I do NOT mind AT ALL, Snowdrop. CONTINUE. This series looks so freakin cool and refreshing even!

[twstarchives]

Silver・Voice Lines

Additional voice lines:

NRC Master Chef event card

School Uniform - R

Unlock Card “What’s your next class?”

Groovy “I want to learn what a servant should be like.”

Home Setting “Oh, it’s you.”

Home Transitions “Are you done getting ready for class? Being ready is oftentimes more important than jumping right in.”

“The weather on days like this makes me wanna sleep...”

“I don’t really pay attention to my clothes. You think I look good in this? Oh, really?”

Home Transition (Login Greeting) “I’m leaving if you don’t need anything. ...Why’re you looking at me like that?”

Home Taps “I’m going to study my hardest, as to not embarrass Lord Malleus.”

“It’s good to exert yourself. Hard work always pays off; it’s easy to do, and the outcome is obvious since it relies on you.” ¹

“I’m fine with any kind of clothes, as long as it’s not rude to wear them.”

“Have you gotten used to this school yet? ...Oh. Well, there’s no need to rush.”

“Mm, thanks for waking me up.”

PE Uniform - R

Unlock Card “Physical training is the groundwork for everything. Wanna train together?”

Groovy “My greatest enemy really is myself.”

Home Setting “I’m looking forward to seeing how far I can go.”

Home Transitions “Whether or not I act on my own doesn’t have anything to do with anyone else. You shouldn’t get too caught up about your surroundings either.”

“I think you might have some potential with using a sword. I’d like to see you take a serious try at it sometime.”

“Are you interested in horse riding? Come take a look at the Horse Riding Club sometime. It’d make Riddle happy too.”

Home Transition (Login Greeting) “What are you going to go do right now? If you don’t have any plans, it’d be great if you could come work out with me.”

Home Taps “Whenever I’m practicing, Sebek always comes over to try challenging me. It’s part of our normal.”

“Training your body in turn trains your mind. You should take it seriously.”

“I go through all of this training so that I can protect Lord Malleus and the others.”

“It’s faster to take a hands-on approach than just learning about something.”

“You don’t need to hit me so hard; I’m already up.”

Lab Coat - SR

Unlock Card “Relax. Your results will suffer if you’re so tense.”

Groovy “I have no choice but to train to overcome my weaknesses.”

Home Setting “You want to study together? You really work hard.”

Home Transitions “You can’t protect the ones you love with power alone. Situations will always come up that require knowledge and wit.”

“Have you been to the greenhouse yet? Be careful in there. It’s warm and puts you to sleep if you don’t watch out.”

“‘Tips for doing labs’? Follow what’s written in the textbook. That’s it.”

Home Transition (Login Greeting) “I’ve been trying to incorporate prep and review for my classes into my routine, but... I accidentally fell asleep last night. I’ll do it now.”

Home Transition (Groovy) “The one thing that stays the same between magic and your studies is the need to work your hardest.”

Home Taps “Kalim from my class often fails all his experiments, but he never loses his motivation. That’s an important quality to have.”

“Aren’t you in the same grade as Sebek? What do you think about him? Isn’t his voice the most annoying you’ve ever heard?”

“Fath—Lilia has a ‘creative’ way of cooking. First he finds a recipe, and then he cooks without ever looking at it.”

“Everyone has a certain amount of hours they need to sleep each night, but exactly how many hours short am I...?”

“Rush like that all you want, but you’re not going to finish all of your learning in just one day.”

Home Tap (Groovy) “I cook sometimes. I’m not that good at it, but at least I can sort of imagine how I want it to taste when I make things myself.”

Ceremony Robes - SR

Unlock Card “Zz... Ah! Were you calling for me?”

Groovy “The little birds are singing so joyously. I think it’ll be a nice day today.”

Home Setting “I tried fixing up my appearance so I didn’t look like I put in zero effort.”

Home Transitions “I’m really not used to seeing myself look so dressed-up.”

“When I first enrolled here, I was nervous too... Oh, looking back, I guess I wasn’t.”

“I’m still barely a rookie compared to Lilia. Someday I want to make it to his level.”

Home Transition (Login Greeting) “Night Raven College has so much history behind it. I’m so grateful I’m able to attend this school.”

Home Transition (Groovy) “Mm... Zzz... Ah! S-Sorry. I got too comfortable and fell asleep.”

Home Taps “It’s a little hard to move in these, but I won’t let something like this stop me from getting in my daily training.”

“They say that silence is golden. But in my case I just don’t have anything worth talking about...”

“I got tired and accidentally rubbed my eye. Did my makeup get smudged?”

“Academies are for nothing but learning. I’m glad I have the opportunity to develop myself. Yes.”

“I don’t know much about clothes, but... these robes would be considered unusual, right?”

Home Tap (Groovy) “Someday I want to appear at a Night Raven College ceremony next to Lord Malleus.”

Tutorial “Let’s go.”

Lv Up “I’m glad I’ve expanded my capabilities.”

“Alright, I’m feeling confident.”

“The only way is to keep on training.”

Lv Up Max “With every swing of my sword, I can feel the power rising in my hands. It makes me feel like I’m dreaming.”

Episode Lv Up “It’s not really any fun being with me. And yet you’re always next to me... You’re so weird.”

Magic Lv Up “My magic is hardly anything compared to Lord Malleus, but I’m going to hone my skill as much as I can, at least.”

Limit Break “If I get stronger, I’ll be able to protect Lord Malleus even more. That’s why you can never have enough power.”

Groovy “I’m happy. ‘I don’t look like it’? Understood. Next time I’ll try harder.”

Select Lesson “Any one of your classes is going to be worthwhile.”

“You’re going with that one? I think that’s a good choice.”

“Go ahead and pick anything.”

Lesson Start “I need to be careful not to fall asleep.”

Lesson End “It’s over? Time to move on to our next training.”

Battle Start “If you’re prepared, then draw your weapon.”

Battle Win “Thank you. I’ve gotten a little stronger now.”

Other

Profile Quote “Malleus, my lord, enough dawdling.”

January 2020 Trailer “It’s strange... I feel like I’ve met you somewhere before.”

Countdown Poster “No matter what enemies come for him, I will protect Lord Malleus.”

Login Bonus “You’re training again today? You can never be too prepared.”

Player Birthday Wish “Sorry. I remembered it was your birthday, but I couldn’t get everything ready in time. …No. An excuse isn’t good enough. Instead of a present, I’ll come with you to do anything you’d like.”

Magic History

Good ★

“We’re at school, so let’s learn.”

“It’s just memorizing.”

“Strategies? I want to learn them.”

“It’s not good to just be sitting down.”

“Studying is training too.”

“Lilia is good at history.”

“A sleeping curse, huh?”

“I have horse-riding training after school.”

“Even lost kingdoms... still have history.”

Great ★★

“That was so easy.”

“I won against my drowsiness.”

“I’ll get by without Father scolding me.”

Perfect ★★★

“It’s just as I was taught.”

“Someday Lord Malleus will be in these textbooks.”

“Father taught me this.”

Special Lesson Perfect ★★★

“Just do it like I always do.”

“Psyche yourself up.”

“Don’t lose your momentum.”

Flying

Good ★

“I’m on the right track.”

“Straighten you back.”

“I’m good at moving around.”

“Zz... Ah!”

“It’s just like riding a horse.”

“Did you warm up?”

“I bit my tongue.”

“I almost fell asleep in the air...”

“Always stay calm.”

Great ★★

“I have a lot of endurance.”

“No problems with this.”

“So this is it.”

Perfect ★★★

“I want to fly faster.”

“Lilia wouldn’t need a broom.”

“Horses are harder to get along with.”

Special Lesson Perfect ★★★

“I want to watch the Headmaster give an example.”

“He’s watching me.”

“I don’t really mind.”

Alchemy

Good ★

“Focus.”

“Careful.”

“The recipe... is...”

“That egg smells rotten.”

“No issues.”

“Wish I could solve this with a sword.”

“The chemicals sparked...!”

“I have no interest in gold.”

“There’s no easy way out.”

“You need to listen to the teacher.”

“I’m going to rest a little.”

“Eternal life...”

“Let’s keep at it.”

“I’m used to making concoctions.”

“This also trains your ability to focus.”

Great ★★

“It worked.”

“Father taught me this.”

“I can do it even if I’m half-awake.”

“Could be... worse...”

“Follow the textbook.”

Perfect ★★★

“I made jewels. Want one?”

“It’s just like cooking.”

“You can do it if you try. Don’t think about it.”

“I want to show this to Lilia.”

“Let’s try the next one.”

Special Lesson Perfect ★★★

“I feel calm when the Headmaster’s here.”

“Do it just like always... Stay calm.”

“Getting careless will make you mess up.”

“I’m not going to bring shame to Lord Malleus.”

[lovee-infected]

Congrats on finishing exams! I thought of a one-shot request that'll hug you in fluff. In TW, the end of his lab SR has Ortho almost begging Silver to let him use his body's features more and test things, essentially just wanting to play doctor. What about a cute situation with a reader (fem/neutral) who lets him play and poke around to try things out so he can make more use out of it? (Sorry if it's strange, just thought it sounded adorable ^^)

This took me a while to write since I had to translate Ortho's stories to get to know him better

I added some Idia condiment to it to so Ortho will be motivated to use his abilities to help his brother ♥

Someone like you

♦♥♠♣

"Okay , what are we gonna do now ?" you asked with a motivational tone , hiding your great nervousness . You were given the permission to keep Ortho for only an afternoon . Idia seemed pretty unsafe about letting you have him but since Ortho insisted , he gave up : " Be back by the sunset , okay ?" . Ortho has told you how shy and unstable his brother would be if he gets in a face-to-face conversation , so you tried to patch the whole thing up by phone . Honestly he seemed a bit strict on phone but you caught the yes , anyways , under some conditions of course : "No running , stay away from water , don't get into any arguments , avoid unnecessary interactions ," Idia had ruled . You promised to take your best care of Ortho but he didn't seem quite satisfied ; he probably just agreed because of Ortho .

Ortho didn't seem as cheerful as always and that worried you . He was drowning in his own thoughts that didn't recognize what you asked , making you repeat your question to pull him out of his daydreamings . Ortho then dropped his head and gave away a hum sound , probably thinking of something to do . He frowned a little putting a finger under his chin as if he was trying to remember something . "(y/n) ? " he asked , his voice filled with pain . " Yes ?" you answered , wondering if he's gonna talk about what was bothering him .

" My brother has been struggling with his studies a lot lately , he's a real genius , but he keeps on skipping classes and missing lessons , that's a worry . He was even close to getting kicked out of Mr. Crewel's classes for the rest of the year since he missed almost all classes this month , and now he isn't allowed to return to classes until he comes up with aj satisfying project or disquisition that changes Mr. Crewel's mind..."

Your eyes widened a bit at his words , it was this serious ? You knew that Idia was socially awkward for real but to fail him classes because of it...that wasn't something you would have expected .

" I'm so sorry to hear that , is there anything I can do ? " you asked , hoping there to be a way to help . Ortho nodded : " Yes please , I want to put my brother out of this obstacle and... need your help ," he crooned , eyes filled with pain now . You couldn't take him being this sad , that was the total opposite of what you brought him out for . "I'd try my best Ortho , let's save Idia ," you said holding his hand and giving him your best smile . " (y/n)... let's make my brother the best disquisition ever ! something that Crewel couldn't resist ," he declared , now with a hyped tone that proved how determined he was. You gave him a dried up smile while thinking of something to say . One one hand you didn't really know what might satisfy Crewel but on the other you couldn't say no to him , not that you motivated him yourself . " It's great Ortho but , since Ignihyde's the most high-tech dorm isn't it supposed to have the best and greatest scientific researches as well ? I mean comparing to them , my knowledge is pretty scanty ; wouldn't it be better if Idia himself does it ?" Ortho shook his head as a no : "He worked on plenty of great projects , from the history of magic to the rarest formulas of the strongest portions , but Crewel rejected each and every of them . He told brother that he lacked something that cannot be found through internet , that he needed something coming from outside of his room ,"

"I see..." you mumbled . " He most likely wants him to do his investigation out of the computers , to do it by being in direct contact with his environment , " you continued . Crewel really did want him to prove that he can get out of his room you thought , seemed a bit unfair but wise. Ortho now seemed to be really inspired by your words , he hadn't thought of Crewel actually having a purpose under his ask . He thought that the main problem was with his brother's researches not being good enough . " If that's why , then we can do it right now for him ! We already have whatever we might need for a great research and so he would no longer be rejected from his classses ! "

♦♥♠♣

" Plants...? " you asked , pretty unsure if this was going to help . It's true that Crewel wasn't looking for a strong yet totally online essay but it didn't enusre him liking one about flowers grown in Night raven college itself either . " Yes , flowers would be a perfect case since they're grown outdoors , just as Mr. Crewel wanted ! Also if we collect samples from them he can no longer claim that all those information were found through the internet , a real success ! " Ortho seemed pretty confident about his idea , but you couldn't let him do anything if that was going to be useless : " True , but doesn't he know everything about all plants here already ? After all they're all pretty exposed to anyone passing ," you said , but Ortho disagreed : " I've donemy research with that , Night raven's thousand-year old history had been through plenty of ups and downs , some rare species which are long extincted out there , remained here from decades ago , which proves that there are pretty worthy plants left here that Crewel would die to know about ; he would do anything to add new species to his collection . Also , it was only mentioned that Night Raven college has at least more than 250 unique plant species , which means that there isn't even any sure number or limit to them , that would be amazing , (y/n) ! No one has ever thought of doing it before ! We would be the first ones !"

You didn't know if that was a good idea or not , but you had to admit that you were impressed . This college surely did keep tons of mysteries within and you couldn't find any of them without a bit of risking .

" Fine Ortho , I'll take care of it then ," you said , preparing yourself for a long journey : " First , we'll try to collect samples from each specie that we see , then schedule each and every of them , submit details into a chart and finally , check the data with a reliable source to identify each and every of them , that would make a high-key strong disquisition ! " you told Ortho , making him nod happily and give you a tight hug : " Thank s (y/n) ! You're the best ! "

You hugged him back and then decided to start : Okay , first we need to get some small bottles , like the ones used in lab to keep magical materials , we shall go get so-" you couldn't continue as Ortho murmured : " Probe mode- open the toolbox " Suddenly three slides around his waist moved away and shelves filled with forceps , flacons , medicinal alcohol and tweezers , along with anything necessary for a professional sampler came out . You couldn't help but to be amazed , you didn't expect him to be this equipped .

" Seems like brother had optimized me to be in charge of investigations as well , he hadn't mentioned many of them before ," he giggled , fascinated himself facing how well prepared he was . " Wait , I guess we don't have to collect samples one by one , just as you said , Crewel already knows plenty of them . Let's just collect special ones ," he said before making strange sounds again : " Automated analysis -activate! - goal: identification of rare species -" He continued to make strange sounds as he analyzed the whole area , his body bizarrely moving on it's own and making weird sounds which each specie being identified : Primorose-sweet pea-Red valerian- borage-bluebells- woodruff-...

After about 5 minutes of analysis , his system got a new notification : " Error - Unknown-or-unrecognizable specie , located in five-o'clock position in a radius of five kilometers to south ," You two quickly went to the location as you were addressed , finding a small bush with a single blue-purple flower . Ortho gasped at the sight : "This is Eris's Orchid ! My brother had told me about them before ! These were told to be a symbol of bad luck back in my hometown , but brother said notto believe any of those words and that they were totally harmless . These flowers extincted in my hometown before my brother was born , I'd only seen old pictures of it . Brother will love this ! " Ortho's mechanical arms carefully picked the flower and placed it into a flacon and closed it . Ortho re-prepared his analysis sensors and said : " Okay ! One collected , way to go ! "

♦♥♠♣

Idia was stressed out , the two of you had to be back hours ago . Did something bad happen ? Could it bd that Ortho had problems with his gears again ? Where were you ? How could he find you now !?

" Brotheeeeeeeeeeeeer !! " Ortho's call for Idia broke the silence loudly before kicking the door open with his rocket leg and wrecking it .

"Ortho , I'd told you not to wreck the door with your- waaa aah- ! " he led out a terrified scrram as he saw the huge board the two of you were holding by hand . " Sorrrry it took so long ! (y/n) suggested we finish sticking everything before we could've lost any of them so we did ! Hope that nothing is missing ," he said , putting the board slowly down so it wouldn't get any damaged . "Wha-what is this ??" Idia asks with his eyes wide open . "Your alchemy project , brother ! Mr Crewel wanted you to give something that required direct contact with nature , so here you go ! Best project ever ! " Ortho explained happily . You could see the light shimmering into his eyes , a light that proved how excited and happy he now was ; just as you wished him to be

Idia was at a loss of words , staring at the board with his mouth open as if he wanted to say something , but no sound came out . His eyes run all over the huge board ; fascinated and shocked at the same time : "Y-you...you two did really did discover more than 100 of ancient species !? My- many of these were considered to be long ago extincted - even the Eris's Orchid ! " Idia replied . He had studied Night Raven being rich in Biodiversity , but this was far greater than his expectations , specially now that he saw you two finding them .

You were relived to see him appreciating your work , even though he was expressing it in a pretty odd way : " So...Idia , you think that's good enough ?" you asked . Idia slowly raised his head and stared at the ground , still too shy to make an eye contact with you : "It's... perfect ," Idia mumbled shyly . Ortho led out a happy shout as he saw his brother satisfied . He quickly jumped into his embrace and hugs him , making Idia lose balance . "O- ORTHO- NO-," Idia shouted before they both fell to the ground . You gasped at the sight : "My god , you two alright !? "

You helped them both stand up and then , it was Idia's turn to speak : " Th-thank you . Both of you . I couldn't imagine someone going out of their way to do such a thing for me..."

"No," you cut him off . You turned toward Ortho and bowed down a bit to be at the same height as him : "It wasn't me , it was all because of Ortho . It was his idea to look for forgotten species and study them , he was the one who could find them using his analytical power and his studies and well-updated datas enabled us to identify each of them , he is really amazing ," Ortho gazed upon you with his eyes filled with disbelief . "I know, " Idia agreed . "Ortho is special and surely way greater than many out there , including me . But he still has hundreds of undetected abilities , which are unknown to even me . Because of someone like you , he discovered more of his abilities and grow even greater , right Ortho ? " Idia asked . Ortho nodded and then , gave you a really tight hug : " Thank you (y/n) , you are wonderful . Because of you my brother now won't get in trouble and I am now more equipped and mighty to be there for him , you are the best ,"

You held your tears of joy back from falling , knowing that they may bring pain to Ortho since he didn't know how to cry . Even Idia now was smiling at you , he seemed a lot more comfortable with you now ; just as he was with Ortho . Your heart as well drowned in joy as you saw Ortho the way you wished him to be : Happy

[presumenothing]

observer effect (it’s not rocket science)

yet more cos fic, this time caused specifically by @anthropwashere twice over: firstly because my brain looked at “ed and alfons having a nice day OR a story about the man in the tan jacket” and decided it’d take 2/3 of that, and secondly for egging me on this trainwreck.

(no wtnv knowledge required, but this is otherwise cos canon compliant so like. you know what happens to alfons)

AO3

i.

“I told you they wouldn’t remember me. What, did you think I was lying about that?” Edward asks, bemused, like curiosity is really the only weight in those words.

If there’s a sensible or even sane way to answer that, Alfons doesn’t know it, and anyway that’s beside the point. “But people shouldn’t be able to just… forget you completely, the second you’re not standing in front of them. That’s just impossible.”

“As impossible as a world with alchemy?” The retort is even more offhand than before but any lightness is gone now.

It always comes back to this, and for once Alfons doesn’t have a blithely cheerful rejoinder about how alchemy is unscientific and Edward should know better.

It’s all impossible. Edward is impossible.

“Look, I don’t know why you’re so concerned about this, but I already said I’d split the rent and you know I don’t go back on my word.” Edward pushes his chair back and grabs his coat before Alfons can say anything about how he really doesn’t know that, no matter how baselessly certain Edward seems convinced of the opposite. “I’m going out for some fresh air, don’t wait up.”

.

ii.

The man in the brown overcoat.

That’s all anyone ever seems able to recall of Edward, from Miss Gracia to their colleagues in the research group to everyone else – except, apparently, Alfons himself.

Alfons had chalked it up to everything circumstantial at first, had assumed that people simply didn’t remember Edward well enough because of how he steers clear of most conversation like he’s allergic to it, but eventually even he’d had to accept that as inaccurate.

It’s not that people don’t remember Edward; it’s that they can’t.

He’d verified it himself on multiple occasions, disparate enough that it couldn’t possibly be a practical joke Edward was pulling on him (not that he’d seemed likely to bother), and no one had been able to give more than the vaguest description even if they did know who Alfons was talking about.

Almost as if Edward is some forgettable bit part in a twelve-act performance, but the thing is that’s wrong. Edward is memorable, has been ever since they first met in that lab in Romania (and in retrospect it makes sense now why Dr. Oberth had been so uncharacteristically unspecific in describing who he was bringing Alfons to meet until they were already there).

So he always comes back to the same two questions – why can’t anyone else remember Edward, and why is he the only exception?

(And a third question, but Alfons already knows the answer to that one: it’s a bane about as often as it is a boon, to look away from Edward and still remember him.)

.

iii.

Noah is the first person he hears mentioning Edward by name when he’s nowhere around, and it doesn’t strike Alfons how completely strange it is until then, his attention snapping up and away from the newspaper he’d been idly glancing through.

“You look surprised.” Noah’s words run contrary to the knowing in her expression.

Alfons rewinds the last minute of conversation in his head – and there, yes, she’d definitely mentioned Edward in far less vague terms than he’s ever heard from anyone besides himself. “No one else remembers him. I mean, they remember someone, sure, but…”

“Just not Ed,” Noah concludes over Alfons’ floundering, and he nods.

“You’re the only one I’ve ever heard mentioning him specifically when he’s out of sight.”

Noah takes her time with answering, returning the folded linens to the cupboard. “I wondered. I saw some of it, you see, when Miss Gracia was lending me her clothes.”

Saw–? Ah, Alfons realises before he can ask. The clairvoyance thing.

Is that why she can properly perceive Edward? Perhaps it takes one unscientific thing to undo another, but Alfons isn’t ready to discard logic just yet. “What did you see?” he asks, as neutrally as he can.

“As you said. There’s an outline of a person there, it’s just… not occupied.” Noah sits back down at the table, folding her hands together. “What does Ed think about this?”

Alfons can’t help the bitter twist to his words. “Oh, believe me, he’s not even bothered about it.”

.

iv.

Here’s the other thing: anyone else, even Alfons himself, might’ve done mischief with the knowledge that they’d be invisible to anyone trying to remember them.

The person Edward speaks of in his stories – the person he is in his stories – would surely have.

But here and now?

Alfons looks at the way Edward just grins and waves it off when one of the others forgets to buy his share for lunch again, the way his eyes only ever light up these days when talking about his damned world, the way his attention just skims over them all, and thinks to himself have you ever considered that maybe the world – my world, this world that could be yours – is only returning in full measure your utter disinterest in it?

.

v.

Even Eckhart, for all her obsession with Shamballa, doesn’t seem immune to the effect of Edward’s existence because she forgets him the moment he falls out of her sight, shot and sending Alfons’ pulse racing despite himself until he sees the bullet lodged in the prosthetic arm.

And that… that just says it all, doesn’t it? If the Thule Society can’t remember Edward even after opening a door to the other world, to Edward’s world, then why can Alfons?

It’s an answer he suspects Edward has – possibly has always had, but he’d never asked before and he doesn’t ask now either, only says don’t forget and means both that and I will remember you if only because I have to.

Then the bullet hits, because the rocket had still gone up even if no one but Noah will be able to remember who was in it.

But there’s more confusion than there would’ve been, otherwise, long enough that in between one breath and the next Alfons knows when Edward must’ve arrived back in his world because every memory of him suddenly flashes from faded to full colour, like lifting away a smog he hadn’t known was there before.

He wonders if this means everyone else will be able to remember Edward now, too. Hopes the answer is yes because it’s all impossible anyway but at least there can be this, because it hadn’t been Edward’s choice to leave after all but Alfons won’t be around to remember him much longer.

You keep your word, don’t you? Then don’t forget, Alfons thinks, sharp as the newly-seen catch of sunlight on Edward’s hair, and dies remembering.

[mnemehoshiko]

STAR WARS INTO DARKNESS

A (Salt) Review of Star Wars Episode 9: The Rise of Skywalker.

Warning 1: All opinions are mine and no one (sadly) paid me for them.

Warning 2: I’m going to strive to be charitable as possible. Keyword, STRIVE.

It finally came. The conclusion to the Skywalker Saga, a nine film series starting with Shmi Skywalker and her lineage. 

When we left the The Last Jedi; Finn was tenderly checking up on Rose who endangered her life to save him. Steadily finding his place in the Resistance and deciding that it was a cause worth fighting for. Ben Solo, also known to the galaxy as Kylo Ren, has just killed his life long abuser but failed to relinquish himself from the ties of the past. Rey was dealing with detaching herself from the idea that she needed to Be Someone in Order to Do Something only to realise that she, a nobody, was good enough. As Leia Organa said, we have all we need.

Cool right?

Yeah, just forget that movie. Actually, just forget like any development that occurred over the last two movies. Furthermore, turn your brain off. No, really please remove any kind of higher cognitive function and any knowledge of Star Wars beyond “pew, pew, pew” and “wOOO”. That’s literally the only way to truly enjoy this film.

This movie is a quest. A long big-budget multi-step fetch quest. Fetch quests are a common part of RPGs and can be enjoyable! Add to the narrative! Interactive. A movie that is nothing but fetch quest after fetch quest to the point that honestly, the first two thirds of the movie could have been dropped because it was so distressingly nonsensical. 

Loose summary; 

Ben Solo is on a planet. Being very very lorge and murking people left and right. Why? Because reasons. That this planet happens to be Mustafar and that he’s killing Vader Cultists evidently is not considered relevant. Even though Ben Solo introduction in TFA, which JJ wrote (with the assistance of Kasdan and Arndt), is basically as Vader’s #1 fanboy. But who cares about narrative information when you have sweet sweet red lighting and like a flight scene.

Anyway, Ben heads to Exegol because evidently that’s where the fancy schmancy totally Not A Holocron is directing him towards. In which he approaches some goth-esque temple with vats of Snokes. Yes, You Heard Correctly, Vats of Snokes. And Palpatine. Who’s just hanging on a crane. Just chillin’ and gleefully tells Ben Solo that he’s been every voice in his head since birth. So learning your abuser is still alive is totally dope. But hey, PALPATINE IS BACK! REMEMBER PALPATINE? ISN’T THAT COOL, yells JJ Terrio desperately trying to like Hype You Up And Remind You Of The Star Wars of Their Childhood.

Finn and Poe “I Have Literally No Purpose To Any of This Narrative and JJ Terrio is About to Fuck Over My Backstory” Dameron are getting data from a contact. For some reason a glorified dick-shaped Alien is there. Consequently, this is the same alien that replaced Rose Tico on merchandise. A reasonable person with minimal brain function would assume it’s because he plays a critical role in the plot.  Remember what I said about thinking? Stop it. Klaud is there primarily for you to admire that JJ’s tentacle kink is Alive and Well and Thus Everything Is True (tm) Star Wars Again. 

Rey is floating surrounded by rocks because That’s What Cool Jedi Do. Then she does a training course because after two films we have absolutely no proof that she has any fight training, according to Reddit and like JJ Terrio is trying to get Reddit to go to the Star Wars Prom with them. So, we need a training montage and Rey going to robo-Leia and saying that she will “earn [Leia’s] brother’s saber”. Why would she want to earn a grumpy curmudgeon who fucked over his only nephew and hid from his twin sister for years? Well, JJ Terrio dreamed of earning Luke’s saber and like what is the purpose of writing other than Wish Fulfillment.

Palpatine is back! Why? We don’t know and we don’t even know what he said because evidently it was decided that it belonged in Fortnite...instead of the film. Why? Here’s a lollipop and a pew pew to stop thinking sweetie. Either way he’s on Exegol and Rey saw notes scribbled in the margins that you need a Sith Holocro-- I mean ~Sith Wayfinder~ --because JJ has never seen Star Wars since he saw it in the theaters in 1983-- to get there. Which is on Pasaana.

WHICH IS HAVING SPACE BURNING MAN RIGHT NOW! (which happens every forty two years. Which is how long ago Star Wars Episode 4 Premiered. Remember fans! Isn’t that a Cool Thing To Drop? says JJ Terrio deftly skimming Reddit in order to gain fanbros love and affection and nostalgia boners.) LOOK AT ALL THE ALIENS DOING THE SPACE MACARENA! Because WOO DON’T YOU LOVE PARTY SCENES?

The force bond shows up and you can some how transfer stuff between the bond? Which like in the hands of another writer would be fascinating and engaging. Sadly, this is a JJ Terrio production and nuanced storytelling and dialogue is Fake and Not Star Wars.

Either way, Ben knows that they’re there and they are running from stormtroopers RIGHT INTO LANDO CALRISSIAN,-- remember him? goes JJ Terrio. You remember Lando right?. I do, I go. I’ve seen the movies and you’ve given no reason why Finn and Rey would know who the fuck he is seeing how he’s evidently been living as a hermit In The Same Outfit for over a decade. (BUT REMEMBER HIM, whines J.J. Terrio. Yes, I do. I SAW THE FUCKING OT JJ).

Anyway, more exposition occurs because JJ Terrio has no understanding how visual language works and it detracts from Real Star Wars Things Like - Space Chases - Pew Pew - Witty quips! because Witty quips! Are Important for A Star Wars, says JJ Terrio.

Nevermind that stormtroopers could fly since the Clone Wars and there’s literally no reason as to why Finn would not know this but like that would require you to give him

- a character arc - character growth - dialogue beyond “WOOOOO” and “REYYYYYY” (also side notes; it was depressing as fuck seeing Finn’s growth in TLJ to going beyond being Rey-centric to only spend the entire movie yelling a White Lady’s Name. I GO TO THE THEATRE TO NOT SEE REALITY, JJ.)

JJ Terrio: BUT HE’S FORCE SENSITIVE?? me, who’s been on the Finn is Force Sensitive Train since TFA: AND YOU DID ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WITH IT AND IMPLIED THAT IT WAS ONLY REASON HE WAS ABLE TO FIGHT THE STORMTROOPER PROGRAMMING??? (i.e. this is really fucking gross eugenics shit pls stop JJ Terrio and like just stop)

*deep breath*

ANYWAY, where was I? Oh yeah, Star Wars Into Darkness.

Either way, they find the Subtle Knife a Sith dagger? Along with force healing foreshadowing. But they have a dagger! Which They Can’t Read! But Threepio can! But He Can’t Say It Out Loud Because His Programming Forbids It.

And then the KoR, the galatic boy band, and Ben show up because of course. And they capture Chewie and put him on a transport.

Rey, of course, reaches out to Stop The Transport.

Ben, tries to stop her.

They to a back and forth that is similar to TLJ without any of the emotional build up of TLJ but that’s because JJ Terrio believes Emotions Are Not Star Wars.

And she lets loose LIGHTNING and makes the transport blow up and she believes Chewie is dead. Problem: Chewie isn’t dead. Which means she would be able to sense him in the Force. “But Mneme”, you say, “the Force isn’t like a GPS where you just Sense People.” That’s fair! Except....then...she does...when she’s on the Snow Planet. So like???

Either way, we have a Dagger that We Need to Read That Threepio Can’t Say Out Loud.

A Solution That Uses Braincells: well we know that the Millenium Falcon has three droid brains! So like we could just hook up Threepio to like the Falcon and transmit the codes and get some really great Easter eggs re: the Falcon and like the setup of the ship! 

....

JJ Terrio: OR WE COULD GO TO THIS SNOW PLANET me: wha-- JJ Terrio: SNOW PLANET WHERE POE DAMERON RAN SPICE me: did you just make....your Only Latino Character Into A---Drug Runner JJ Terrio: REMEMBER HAN SOLO?? HE’S JUST LIKE HIM!!! me: pls stawp pls, I’m begging you stawp JJ Terrio: ALSO LOOK AT HIM FLIRTING WITH A GIRL SO HE’S LIKE OBVIOUSLY STRAIGHT me: bi....people.....exist...like...that is...a thing JJ TERRIO: ALSO WE’LL SHOW U HER EYES TO SHOW THAT SHE’S HUMAN AND NOT A WEIRD ALIEN BECAUSE POE DAMERON IS A RED BLOODED AMERICAN LIKE REDDIT  me: pls....stop...why....

anyway, he needs a memory wipe in order for it. Which is a really touching scene....or would have been if it wasn’t immediately retconned because like R2 has backups. So like whoo.

So that’s like *two* instances of fakeout death because like Nothing Is Of Consequence Because Star Wars.

Except Leia dying because fuck moms, say JJ Terrio. Moms are Not Star Wars. The Reddit bros have now started to return their text messages.

More busy stuff happens. Hux dies. I wasn’t able to thoroughly enjoy it because by this point I had A Headache from all the Pew Pew and Wooooo~~.

Ben tells Rey that like ~her power is Palpatines power because like How Else Can Rey Be Powerful.” Does this make any sense? Not at all but like Don’t Think Too Hard.

He also finally takes off his stupid helmet that was glued together by ~Sith Alchemy~ that they bought from Space!Michaels.

Rey is vaguely disraught but like She Finally Has A Purpose and the Reddit Bros are Appeased.

More shit happens. Does it matter? Not really.

They meet Jannah! She’s cool and has the exact same backstory as Finn. Because in Star Wars There Are Only (2) Backstories for black characters.  They line up the dagger that is old as fuck with the death star wreckage. Which lines up exactly. Evidently erosion is Not A Thing. 

Finn and Jannah and basically go, Wow Isn’t It Rad That Because We Have The Force We [Finn, Jannah and her crew] Were Able To Reject Brainwashing and Bounce Because We Have The Force.

Rey runs off and Finn yells “REY!!” at some point but at least he knows his best angles while he does it.

Rey meets Dark!Rey who’s a vision....for five seconds. Because Remember if Girls Go Dark They Have Sinned In The Eyes of The Force. Ben shows up and crushes the Holocron because I refuse to call it that stupid-ass name-- dear fucking lord his hand is big--and WELP I GUESS I HAVE THE ONLY ONE.

They fight because We Need A Light Saber Fight Except This One is So Lackluster.

Then Leia reaches out to do something that will use up all her strength says Maz. How does Maz know this? Idk but she’s played by Lupita N’yongo so at least it sounds Deep And Wise because That’s Why You Cast Black People...to sound deep and wise. =_= **deeper breathe**

Anyway, she reaches out to her son! Her son hears her? I think? Either way it distracts him which lets Rey impale him. Except then she heals him?? And is like, I wanted to take your hand, Ben’s hand. which like I’d be fine with if like the movie had like worked for it. But like That Would Involve Actual Conversations Between Characters and We Are Going At 34243242432 pps (parsecs per second) and thus DO NOT HAVE TIme For That.

Ben then has a rehash of the scene from TFA because JJ Terrio is a fucking hack and is unable to create original material and this would have been meaningful if like Any of the Emotions Had Been Earn in The Fucking Film. But hey, I felt .75 of an emotion when Han Solo cradled his cheek so I will accept this. Then he yeets his saber into the ocean. Because. Yeet. Sadly, this movie is Not Over and My Suffering Will Not End

Poe and Finn head back to base with Jannah because I guess that’s what we’re doing? They find out that Leia is dead etc etc etc. The Resistance has a Circle Planning Session for the Final Battle that JJ Terrio lifted straight from ROTJ and the Reddit Bros brought them a corsage for Fanbro Prom. I am reminded that ROTJ was better than this garbage that I Paid Actual Money To Watch. Rey heads to Fish Nun island and decides to pull a Luke Skywalker move even we learned from the Last Movie (TLJ) why that was a Bad Idea but you know WE GET TO SEE LUKE AGAIN IS A GARBAGE WIG BECAUSE REDDIT BROS AMIRITE? We get the most hamfisted performance out of Mark Hamill and I’m just like damn The Last Jedi as a fucking gift and a _Jedi’s weapon is important_ platitude like his dad wasn’t yeeting his saber left and right. But Who Cares About Canon When We Have Pew Pew Pew Pew.

Luke tells her that Yes He And Leia Always Knew She Was A Palpatine which like means - Leia literally did not learn from the Last Time She Obscured Someone’s Parentage and the Fall Out - Actively lied to Rey - Luke actively lied to Rey - jfc this poor girl has been aggressively lied by most of the authority adults in her life??? - HER PARENTS SOLD HER TO PROTECT HER which is such a fucking damning think along with the fact that her parents are idiots and like didn’t think to take her to the new republic and like THERE ARE 23432432 things wrong with this set up but that is a Whole ‘Nother Rant

Also evidently? Leia ended her Jedi Journey (which abbreviated as JJ, coincidence? I THINK NOT.) because she saw her sons demised but evidently....couldn’t sense her son being groomed by Snoke, creation of Palpatine and like this entire movie makes Leia look like an ineffectual idiot?? Like I was really hoping that Leia was going to be able to escape the “Fuck Mom’s” curse of Star Wars BUT I GUESS THAT BECAUSE THAT’S NOT ~true star wars~

Anyway, evidently Leia gave him her saber which I guess she made but no one decided to show that but instead some freakish CGI (that they swore they wouldn’t do) fight scene because like Leia Obviously Isn’t A Real Force User Unless You Use A Lightsaber. The Reddit Bros Nod Sagely. So Rey decides to go to Exegol.....using the Luke’s X-Wing. The Reddit Bros are weeping tears of joy at this point.  The Resistance starts their FINAL ASSAULT! THEY HAVE SPACE HORSES RIDING ON A SHIP BECAUSE DOESN’T THAT LOOK COOL! FINN KIND OF USES THE FORCE. THEY DECIDE TO BLOW UP THE STAR DESTROYERS BECAUSE FUCK CHILD SOLDIERS AMIRITE (rip Finn’s Stormtrooper backstory that JJ constructed that He Couldn’t Even Be Arse To Complete or like Think Of Because Like That Would Be Nuanced Shit but like He Gets to - Jump Over Things! - Run! - Know His Angles - Yell desperately After A White Lady because ahahahahha fuck WOC when there’s white p*ssy on the line AMIRITE?)

Either way they’re in trouble and Poe is dismayed and is like yo i’m sorry we’re doomed. Because...that’s.....what generals do. Give The Fuck Up.  BUT DON’T WORRY LANDO IS HERE TO SAVE THE DAY BECAUSE EVIDENTLY WHILE THE GALAXY IGNORED LEIA ORGANA’S PLEAS, THEY LISTENED TO LANDO

(Crack theory: He hit up all his exes.)

Rey flies to Exegol to confront Grandpalps. Who never wanted her dead but to become Empress after spending 2.5 movies wanting her dead via puppet!Snoke. Also kudos to JJ Terrio to making a Sith Temple be so fucking boring and lackluster. That Took Skill.\

ANYWAY SHE SEES HER FRIENDS IN TROUBLE MUCH LIKE IN TLJ and in ROTJ but JJ Terrio really really loves his nostalgia and ROTJ was very very very formative evidently. She’s about to Strike Him Down In Anger And Absorb Grandpapa’s essence in order to save her friends but WAIT WHO IS THIS IDIOT RUNNING IN WITH NO FUCKING PLAN Yes, it is Ben Solo channeling his father. As carrying the blaster that Lando gifted to him in Aftermath but like we can only suppose that because who Needs Convos When You Have Pew Pew Pew~ His former Knights show up (who have also never spoken because hahahahah dialogue? Sounds fake. Also moment of Silence of Rian who kept them alive and used Praetorian guards in TLJ instead because he assumed that JJ made them for a meaningful reason because he was Unaware That JJ Was A Fucking Hack)

Anyway, Rey senses him! They do a super cool force bond moment that actually Pays Off and Rey hands off her saber to Ben. Through the force. It’s dope.

#BenSoloChallenge happens.

[In spite of like No Speaking At All, Adam Driver successfully channels the aura of Han Solo in spite of JJ Terrio desperately Insisting That Poe Dameron is Obviously Han Look He Even Ran Spice!!! Look!!]

Eventually they both stand before Palpatine Ready To Throw Down except in stand Palps leeches the lifeforce from them and then yeets Ben into a pit and Rey collapses.

THEN ALL THE JEDI FROM THE MOVIES AND CLONE WARS INCLUDE AHSOKA WHICH MAKES NO SENSE GIVEN CLONE WARS BUT WHAT EVER DON’T YOU FEEL VALIDATED!!! FANS!!! SCREAMS JJ TERRIO

me: no.

Rey pulls a Wonder Woman move because all you need to do to redirect Force Lightning is cross your light sabers.  Anyway, that effort kills her (or like maybe not? Says Terrio in multiple interviews because men from Harvard Literally Never Shut Up.)

Ben somehow?? Climbs?? Out of the pit?? Under his own power because The Jedi Still Haven’t Forgiven the Skywalker Line for Anakin. Even though Anakin also reached out to Rey? I’m just assuming the soul of St. Maul of the Pit was yelling angry motivational speeches to get him out of the pit while St. Ventress adding sarcasm commentary comparing Ben and his namesake. 

EITHER WAY HE’S OUT OF THE PIT! And is like in agony because Rey is uh in limp ragdoll mode so probably dead? We’re gonna go with dead.

He limps over to her because uh evidently getting yeeted into a pit is Not Good For Ones Health or Limbs.

Ben cradles her in his arms and at that moment I had to Apologize For Everyone I Dragged for Size Kink because Adam Driver is Fucking Large and His Hand is Fucking Huge and I, Mneme, Was Wrong You Are Valid.

*cough* where was I? Ah yes, he’s cradling her in his arms realizing she’s dead and I guess? Channeling the force to heal her. Which it does.

He’s happy! She’s happy!

She says “Ben” breathlessly. 

AND THEN SHE SNOGS HIM LIKE THE AWKWARD VIRGINS THAT THEY ARE.

The Force realizes that a Male Skywalker is Getting A Boner and Goes Nope. And he just collapses and fades away at the same time that Leia fades away because ~symmetry~.  Was a war going on? Uh maybe but like LETS NOT WORRY ABOUT LOGISTICS BUT INSTEAD CUT TO EWOKS!! WE ALL LOVE EWOKS RIGHT!! Rey flies back to Ajan Kloss. Poe, Finn, and Rey hug because this movie is almost over and they can stop trying to sell a non-existent trio created because JJ didn’t have the balls to let Poe stay dead in TFA.

Commander D’Arcy kisses her wife in the background but no one really notices and it was cut in Singapore but like JJ Terrio are Woke AF Y’ALL but not too woke because else they’ll get dumped by Reddit Bros.

No, we are Sadly Not Done.

LETS GO TO A SAND PLANET. No, it’s not Jakku it’s Tatooine~ DON’T YOU GUYS REMEMBER TATOOINE!! go JJ Terrio.

You mean the planet where Anakin Skywalker was a slave, Luke Skywalker desperately wanted to leave, and Leia Organa was put into that humiliated outfit? Yes. I remember.

REY’S HERE TO BURY LUKE AND LEIA’S SABERS HERE!! At the Lars homestead that is somehow intact....in spite of Jawas. 

What wha-- why??, you may ask.

Well Luke never got to show Leia his home planet, goes JJ Terrio. Literally anyone who saw ROTJ.....they were on it in then?? JJ Terrio: i can’t see mariah carey dot gif

Rey also shows off her new lightsaber that was evidently crafted from her staff but we were not shown that  on screen because like It Was Considered To Emotional for this Film.

Then finally some old woman passes by and is like Who are you? Rey: Rey Old Nosy Lady: Rey who? *Rey stares at the Force Ghosts of Luke and Leia looking like her parents* Rey: Rey Skywalker JJ TERRIO: SEEEEE WE DID REY SKYWALKER!!! AREN’T WE COOL me: she took the name of a grumpy old man who rejected her and whom she bounced off with his shit because he was being a dick....OKAY JAN

(ffs they could have let her take the name Organa but like Fuck Women amirite? *DRINKS*)

and yeah that’s it. Kid that was brainwashed as a child was reduced to going WHOOOOO every 5 seconds with no thought regarding his fellow stormtroopers who are still brainwashed.

Kid that was abandoned under the guise of ~love~ and sold to an abusive guardian and struggled and starved for years returns to a planet of sand and yes I know that she is probably going else where but that was a choice they made to have the last shot of her Alone with a Droid staring at the twin suns because JJ Terrio have been doing nothing but spraying nostalgia in my face for just under 2 and a half hours.

Kid who was actively groomed since childhood and only just now released from said clutches but lol can’t atone because he dead now.

Kid who lost her sister to the machine of war is pushed aside because she dared to exist.

and Poe.

The End of the Skywalker Saga y’all.

Bonus: “Uh, Mneme what about Rose?” She got exactly a 76 seconds that she acted her heart out in but evidently seeing a non-submissive Asian woman in Star Wars was too much for people last film so that uh Essentially Cut Her Out. Don’t worry they made sure to give her a quarter of a page in the visual dictionary and the Merry the Hobbit two page spread. So like Don’t Worry The Asian Girl Will Not Hurt You. “Mneme, what as the point of Poe?” Fuck, if I fucking know.

“Uh Mneme, the Only Reason Finn Didn’t Have An Arc Is Because of KYLE RON!!!!” 

Exhibit A

Exhibit B

Exhibit C

trust me, it really wasn’t.

[worryinglyinnocent]

Fic: Forged Through Fire (5/13)

Summary: Amestris. Once democratic, now a military dictatorship. Prohibition is strict; personal freedoms curtailed. All alchemists must be state-licensed or face imprisonment. Foreigners are met with suspicion. It’s a grim place and a grim time, but there are some people able to bring a little light to the world. Behind an innocent-looking bookshop, speakeasy proprietor Chris Mustang has formed an unlikely alliance with unlicensed alchemist Van Hohenheim to provide alcohol to those who want it and medical care to those who need it. When Riza’s newly complete tattoo becomes infected, Roy brings her into this underworld, little knowing the way it will change their lives in the future – uncovering the secrets of the mythical Philosopher’s Stone and the schemes of a Fuhrer hell-bent on achieving immortality, all whilst navigating what they mean to each other.

===

Rated: T

[One] [Two] [Three] [Four] [AO3]

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Forged Through Fire

Five

“I’m telling you, there’s something going on that they’re not telling us.”

“Hughes, we live in a military dictatorship and we’re both part of that military, of course there’s something going on that they’re not telling us.”

“I’m not talking about the secret police or the compartmentalising mentality that goes on. I’m talking about something strange and illegal.”

Roy sighed. Hughes had been on about this ever since they had left Central Command earlier in the evening and he really needed a break. At least it made a change from him talking about Gracia. It was far later than either of them had intended to leave Central Command, but an accident at the Third Laboratory had pulled in every available officer to run damage control and prevent whatever had been happening in there getting out to the general public. 

This kind of thing was a common enough occurrence that Roy wasn’t all that worried about it. The alchemy laboratories were always doing something or other. As an alchemist himself, he’d been involved in more than one experiment in there, and honestly, everything that he had seen so far had been very boring and would not have caused any kind of a stir if the public had found out about it. Most of them wouldn’t understand it. Even Roy himself only half-understood it. 

“If it’s the military doing it then it can’t be illegal,” Roy pointed out. “Even if it’s illegal for everyone else, everything that the military does is allowed. You’ve been serving long enough to know that.”

“Maybe illegal was the wrong word. Something strange and… immoral? No, that’s not right either, who in the Amestrian military has morals? Something strange and disturbing, we’ll go with that.”

Roy didn’t respond, because as much as he was trying to block out Hughes’ latest conspiracy theory, he had to admit that his friend did have a point. There had been something about this particular incident that had seemed different, with even the alchemists being shepherded away from it and no one being told the full truth of what was going on. To make matters even stranger, Fuhrer Bradley had turned up to oversee things personally, so naturally everyone was on edge. It was strange for him to leave his ivory tower in Central Command at the best of times, and this really wasn’t the kind of thing that needed his attention. 

Maybe it was a secret science project after all, but a secret science project that involved the Fuhrer really wasn’t one that Roy wanted to know anything about. Bradley wasn’t an alchemist himself, and the laws concerning state registration that he had brought in after he came to power would have fooled a novice into thinking that he wanted to stamp out alchemy altogether, but since joining the military, Roy knew better. Bradley was fascinated by alchemy, and it was clear that all the legislation requiring alchemists to be licensed and all their arrays to be registered was an attempt to harness all of their raw power at his beck and call, as if he couldn’t bear the thought of there being someone out there whose alchemy he did not have access to. 

Roy thought of Hohenheim, living under the radar with his tailor chalk and alkahestry. He’d never asked how old he was, especially since Roy couldn’t remember him ever looking any younger than he did now, but he’d amassed a huge wealth of knowledge over the course of his career, and Roy really didn’t want that ending up in Bradley’s hands. He shuddered at the thought, trying to pull his attention to happier things, but Hughes was still expounding next to him. 

“Do you think it might be part of Project Xerxes?”

“What?”

“Project Xerxes. I told you about it last week.” Hughes gave him an accusatory look. “I don’t know if you were listening though.”

“I might have zoned out at the beginning of the conversation when you were talking about your and Gracia’s interior decorating plans and not zoned back in again.”

Hughes opened his mouth to say something, and since Roy knew that it would be related to the newly-acquired apartment, he cut in quickly. “I’m listening now though, so tell me again.”

“I don’t know anything concrete, it’s just some whispers that I heard when I happened to be passing Bradley’s office and he had all the generals in there.”

Roy sighed. “Did the ‘passing’ involve stopping and listening at the door?”

“Only for a second.” Hughes looked offended by the accusation of eavesdropping however true it was. “Anyway, Project Xerxes is all very hushed up and Tim Marcoh was overseeing it before he died. Or faked his death and escaped to Xing – I’m starting to believe that rumour more and more. It was all being done out of the Fifth Lab.”

“The Fifth Lab doesn’t exist.”

Hughes raised an eyebrow. “Mustang, if you believe that you’re an idiot. Anyway, do you know anything about Xerxes?”

“It’s now mostly desert with some city ruins halfway between here and Xing and it’s supposedly where the Philosopher’s Stone was made.”

“Yeah, that’s about all I know too. But since it’s likely that this is all tied up with alchemy and since the Philosopher’s Stone is the only thing that Xerxes is famous for apart from, you know, suddenly ceasing to exist as a civilisation for no reason, do you think they might be trying to recreate the Philosopher’s Stone?”

“Hughes, if you believe the Philosopher’s Stone exists then you’re an idiot. It’s an alchemical cautionary tale warning us all against experimenting with forces we don’t understand in case we accidentally wipe out the entire country.”

“And the whole elixir of life and transmuting lead into gold thing is just a myth, then?”

“Transmuting lead into gold isn’t hard for a metallurgy alchemist, it’s just not allowed because it would destroy the economy,” Roy pointed out. “Even if we were living in the most equitable and democratic country in the world, transmuting gold still wouldn’t be allowed. And no, I don’t believe in immortality.”

Hughes shook his head. “No, I still think that there’s something going on there.”

They had finally reached the bookshop by this point; the lights were still on, and Roy could just about see Riza sitting at the counter at the back of the shop, bent over a book with Hayate snuggled up on her lap. He smiled at the sight. She’d become part of the furniture around the place so easily after she had moved into the shop last year, and now no one who frequented the speakeasy could imagine it without her. Hayate was a relatively new addition to the extended family, but he was gaining a reputation as a guard dog.

They entered the shop and Roy flipped the closed sign behind him; it was getting towards the time when they would stop letting new customers down into the bar. Instead of going straight through towards Riza and the back room, Hughes vanished off into the shelves.

“Hughes? What are you doing?”

“Research!”

“I swear you must be the only person who actually uses this bookshop as a bookshop. Even Rebecca’s here for the booze more than the books these days. If you’re looking for information on the Philosopher’s Stone I don’t think you’ll find any.”

Hughes shot him a look over his shoulder as he scanned through the worn spines of the books on the shelves. They were still all packed in without any order; Riza had devoted a large chunk of the last year to trying to organise the place to make it look more like a shop and less like a front, but she was still nowhere near through inventorying the entire place. 

“Mustang, if any bookshop in Central is going to have extremely forbidden books in it, then I think the one above a speakeasy is the best bet.”

“I think I’m missing something here.” Riza came over to Roy and they both watched Hughes for a while. “What’s going on?”

“He’s on a mission to prove that the Top Brass are trying to make the Philosopher’s Stone.”

“Right… You know, maybe I shouldn’t have asked. I’m just taking Hayate outside for a pee break, can you hold the fort?”

Roy nodded, unable to help himself watching her leave. 

“I’ve got it! Roy! Roy?”

Hughes came over to him with book in hand and joined him in staring at the door. 

“And you thought I had it bad with Gracia.” He patted Roy’s shoulder. “At least try and ask her out before one of you expires.”

“I’m not! I mean, I don’t, I mean…” Roy gave up; there was no sense in digging the hole he’d got himself into any deeper. Hughes just gave him a knowing smile. 

“You’ve definitely got it bad, Mustang. The worst part is you can’t even see it yourself.”

Roy decided that it was best not to reply to that. He’d been wrestling with his feelings for Riza ever since she’d come back into his life, and Hughes wasn’t making things better. He’d hoped that things would plateau since she moved into the shop and became part of the family, but if anything, seeing her on a regular basis and getting to know her outside of the roles they’d always been in when he’d known her first and foremost as his teacher’s daughter had made things even worse. 

“So, have you found something?”

Riza was back, and she peered over at the book Hughes was holding. 

“Potentially. It’s an old world history and there’s about three sentences on Xerxes. ‘According to local legend the country was destroyed in an alchemic explosion that resulted in the creation of the Philosopher’s Stone, a large red rock resembling a ruby that was then later taken to Xing by merchants travelling home from the outpost that would become Amestris.’ So, that tells us nothing. What is it with missing things ending up in Xing? First Tim Marcoh, now the Philosopher’s Stone.”

“I think you might be clutching at straws here, Hughes.” Roy shook his head in despair. “Let’s go down. Are you coming, Riza? Most of the gang should be there, although Falman got stuck with all the paperwork and Breda said he had other plans, so you can bring Hayate.” The memory of Breda vaulting over the bar to hide the first time he’d met Hayate would forever be a fond one in Roy’s mind. 

“All right.” Riza locked up and followed them down into the bar, switching off the shop lights as she went. She’d become part of their crew easily even though she wasn’t military herself.

Armstrong waved them over as they came in, not that they really needed any indication as to where the group was sitting when he was in the bar. 

“Good to see you among us, Riza. It’s Havoc’s round…”

“What? No it’s not!”

“… What can he get you?”

Havoc groaned and got up, taking everyone’s orders as Roy, Hughes and Riza squeezed in around the table. The conversation soon turned back to the mysterious events at the Third Laboratory and Bradley’s sinister presence there. Hughes’ theory received mixed reception, but the general consensus, one that Roy would admit to sharing, was ‘don’t put anything past Bradley and the Top Brass’. 

Throughout the evening, Roy found himself very aware of Riza’s presence next to him. It was hardly the first time that they had all shared a drink together, sighing over the paradox of them being military officers in an illegal bar as proof that prohibition was a terrible idea, and it was hardly the first time that Roy had been very aware of Riza, whether she was next to him or not. The difference this time was Hughes’ words to him from earlier. 

Would there ever be a good time to ask her out? When it came down to it, he wanted to, that wasn’t the problem. The problem was that he really didn’t think he should want to. He was reminded of it again when the talk finally moved away from military conspiracies and ended up in the direction of general gossip, everyone asking when they were going to meet Havoc’s new girlfriend. (Since Roy knew that Riza had recently introduced Rebecca to Havoc, he got the feeling that they had all already met Havoc’s new girlfriend and just hadn’t realised yet.)

Hughes really wasn’t helping on that score, especially not when the night began to draw to a close and he started ushering everyone out of the bar under the shoddy excuse that they all had to work tomorrow. Roy knew that he was trying to leave him and Riza alone together in the hope of something happening. Unfortunately, Riza also knew that. Once they were the only ones left at the table, she gave a soft huff of laughter.

“Say what you will about Hughes, he’s not at all subtle.”

“No, he’s always been more the ‘smack you round the head with a brick’ type, which is ironic considering we have Armstrong in our circle of friends. Not that he’s all that subtle either, but at least with him he’s so ridiculously unsubtle all of the time that when he does try and be sneaky, it works quite well.”

“He’s a sweetheart. I have no idea how he ended up in the military with you lot.”

“Careers in the military have been passed down through the Armstrong family for generations.”

Riza shrugged. “Well, I suppose it’s as good a reason as any. Anyway, you can’t deny that Hughes’ plan worked, and he’s managed to leave us alone together.”

“No. No, that can’t be denied.”

“Although you also can’t deny that we all have to work tomorrow. Even if I live above my workplace and don’t really do all that much actual work on a daily basis. I should probably still be sharp enough to be able to spot potential trouble and I can’t do that if I’m face down snoring on the counter.”

“No, that makes sense.” Roy didn’t know whether to be sad that he wasn’t actually going to get any time alone with Riza, or relieved that Hughes’ ploy hadn’t seemed to work. She wasn’t showing any signs of actually going anywhere, after all, and since Hayate looked so cute asleep under the table, she might not want to move him. 

“Still. It’s been a while since it was just the two of us.”

Her soft brown eyes were smiling, and it was good to see her looking so calm and happy. It had taken a long time for the haunted look that she had worn at her father’s funeral to leave her, and although he did still see it occasionally, she seemed to be making her peace with his legacy now, enjoying becoming her own person. It had been great to see, and he didn’t know how to articulate that to her without coming across as a complete idiot. 

He didn’t realise that she’d been leaning in until her lips were on his, and although he was surprised, he didn’t resist. Her hand was warm against his cheek and he interlaced his fingers with hers, about to deepen the kiss when she pulled away, searching his face for something. He had no idea what she was looking for or whether she found it, as she moved away then, giving Hayate a little shake to wake him and picking him up. 

“I should get going. I’ll see you tomorrow?”

Roy nodded. “Till tomorrow.”

He watched her leave the bar, and then planted his face in the table with a groan. What was that? Had that just happened? How was he supposed to interpret it? 

There was the thunk of glass on wood and he lifted his head an inch or so to see a shot glass of clear liquid in front of him. He could already tell it was the good Drachman vodka. 

“Drink.” Chris took the seat opposite. “Drink, then talk. God knows someone needs to get you two to get your act together, and that might as well be me.”

Roy sat up again and downed the vodka, shuddering against the burn in the back of his throat. 

“Did she really just kiss me?”

“Yep.”

“I wasn’t dreaming?”

“Nope.” Chris gave him an amused look. “So, what are you going to do about it?”

“I have no idea.” Roy stared up at the ceiling, before remembering that above the ceiling was the shop and above that was Riza’s apartment and staring down at the table instead. 

“I think that it’s a pretty clear situation from my point of view. You like her, she obviously likes you, so perhaps start dating. Like I have told you to do several times.”

“I know. I know. I just feel like we can’t.”

Chris raised an eyebrow. “For the love of God, Roy, why? It’s not like you’re studying under her father anymore. It’s not like she’s still living with her father anymore. It’s not like that odd period when she was seventeen and you were nineteen and you were completely paranoid about the implications of that. She just kissed you, boy, what more do you need?”

Roy shrugged. “I still feel responsible. Everything will be going great and then she’ll have a bad back pain day and I’ll remember that afternoon… Maybe if I’d done it when she asked me to, things wouldn’t have been so bad.”

“Roy, I say this with all the love in the world but you’re a goddamn idiot. Her back would still be burned, she would still have pain, you would still have had to call Hohenheim in a panic to come and make things better, and you’d have the added gnawing knowledge that you could never be rid of, the knowledge that it was you who did it to her. Considering how much you’re antsing about over not doing it, do you really, honestly think that you’d feel better if you had?”

“No. You’re right. That wouldn’t have helped.”

“You’ve got to let go of the guilt at some point, Roy. Maybe you could have done more to help her when she was still under Hawkeye’s thumb. Maybe you couldn’t. The point is, you can’t change the past, however much you might want to, and if you don’t get that stick out of your ass and stop worrying about the things you can’t change, then you’re just going to spend the rest of your days wallowing in misery and self-pity, denying you and Riza something you both want out of a misguided sense of worthiness. I can just about deal with you moping, but I can’t have two of you engaged in ridiculous mutual pining when you’re both perfectly aware of each other’s feelings and just won’t do anything about them.”

It was the longest and most vehement speech that Chris had ever given him on the topic of his love life, and it shook Roy a little. Normally she would just tease him like the rest of the girls, or occasionally drop in the odd bit of sage advice. She’d never yet staged this level of intervention on his behalf.

“It’s too late and you’ve had far too much to drink to do anything about it now, but you need to at least talk to her about it tomorrow. Don’t make me lock you in a broom closet, we haven’t got one, and Trisha would murder me if anything happened in the dispensary.”

Roy laughed. There was definitely something in Chris’s words. If Riza didn’t blame him then there wasn’t a lot of point in blaming himself; it wouldn’t make either of them feel better. They’d never talked about their feelings before, and Riza had certainly given him an opening tonight. 

He’d talk to her tomorrow. Well, as long as he didn’t have to investigate any more weird goings on in the Third Lab. As much as he didn’t want to admit to Hughes being right, he was definitely uneasy about whatever might be happening off the books. The Philosopher’s Stone might be a bit far-fetched, but something was up. 

Roy pushed those fears to the back of his mind again, returning to happier thoughts. 

Thoughts of Riza.

[hazelenergy]

@bed-of-briars​ @the-road-from-calvary​

So here’s some info on how thinblood alchemy works. Kitty, I know you asked me about it so hopefully this clears things up. Antonia, I hope this has use for you, and I may be able to plague you with more history questions soon. 

What is thinblood alchemy? 

Good fucking question. Professionally, I’d say it’s the combination of high resonances with vampiric vitae and proper catalyzing substances to replicate vampiric disciplines or new powers completely. Among friends, I say it’s walking around my haven, tits out, ingesting random household items to see what happens. 

How long has thinblood alchemy been a thing?

I’ve been trying to pinpoint how long thinblood alchemy has been around and I haven’t been able to find many sources giving concrete answers. It's like they want us eradicated so our notes and research were destroyed with us. The easy answer is thinblood alchemy started booming in the late 20th century with the drug scene. Which is true. With widespread access to technology, information, and the invention of online stores- acquiring the necessary gear is easy. 

However, thinblood alchemy has been around a lot longer. I have been fortunate enough with my thinblood safehouse project to be allowed to see old notebooks passed down from alchemists- some dating from the 1980s and one delicate diary from 1947. I’m not at all surprised when the alchemists who possess these relics feel tremendous responsibility to preserve them. But there are even rarer and older documents. The alchemy notes from the dark ages work for our formulas- if you can translate their coded notes. So in truth, thinblood alchemy has been around since the creation of clan Tremere- or even earlier. 

So how does it work?

Thinblood alchemy is not like other disciplines you may have seen or used. Lots of kindred of the 13th generation or lower are embraced and immediately possess control of their disciplines. Most alchemists wouldn’t describe their craft as something that came naturally to them- it took weeks, months, or even years to experiment and find what works. Additionally, this is not a practice for the faint of heart or weak of stomach. To get the necessary ingredients requires some unsavory acts- it is a fact as true as the beast within us. 

Across the board, you need vitae. Doesn’t always have to be yours but it is awfully convenient to use what you’ve got inside. Cool you got blood, and it's yours because it’s in your possession. Now what? You need something to put it in. But it can’t be just anything. Much like a tremere needs very specific tools to do some rituals, thinblood alchemists need an alchemical cauldron or furnace. There are currently three possible ways to procure such a furnace which have developed into the three distillation methods.

The first is my preferred method. The fancy latin some of us use is Athanor Corporis, meaning furnace body. I utilize my own stomach as my alchemical cauldron. After eating or drinking the necessary ingredients, I can will the blood to ignite the furnace. Most of the time it just kinda feels like a heat radiating beneath my ribcage. On occasion it has felt as bad as taking rapid fire bullets to my gut and then pouring vinegar onto the holes...but it's rare. The benefit of this method is it allows me to keep the power or discipline in my system for extended periods of time- sometimes even as long as a month. I also can travel a lot of the ingredients on my person, swallow them, and then hunt down the right resonance. It's a very versatile method that lends itself well to being discreet. The downside is, this is a one power at a time method. If I consume a new formula, it replaces the original power. Which is a bummer and why proper planning is important. Additionally, not every thinblood has the gullet to do this. I can speak from very personal experience that I have eaten and swallowed some terrible tasting things. There are some that even I found myself vomiting back up and then immediately racked with hunger. Those that use this method have given some extreme criticism that they had to train themselves to keep stuff down or chase it with so much vitae that they nearly bond themselves. 

The second method I find morally uncomfortable and I refuse to try it. This one’s called calcinato. Instead of using your own body- which you know can’t die from drinking bleach because it's already dead, you use human vessels. You can emotionally manipulate them to match the resonance you need. You can also use drugs. You can also use sex. Then you feed them with the proper ingredients and your own vitae, and their entire body activates the formula. The alchemist can then drink a number of doses from that vessel until their resonance changes or there’s no blood left. There are a few benefits to this method. I have a sharp nose which allows me to smell resonances. I imagine that if I lacked this innate ability, finding and tapping resonances would be far more difficult or left to chance. This ensures you are getting a specific resonance every time. Additionally, the time it takes to drink from that vessel can be faster than I can swallow new ingredients and will the blood to brew. I’d possibly be hungrier, they could be full. Lastly, a thinblood that uses this method is possibly in the enviable position of possessing a herd. If they are, they could easily have multiple brews in many people- making them more prepared than I could be with pockets full of magnets. The downsides to this method are numerous- besides my personal grievances. The first is that this method quickly lends itself to masquerade breaches. Taking a bite from your vessel in the open is not a possibility if you care to play the masquerade game. Secondly, if you are separated from your vessel, what do you do? If the alchemist is someone who coerced or drugged their victims into doing this, what happens when they escape? And if they do possess a herd, what happens when your stock is depleted? Agh, it makes my stomach turn just referring to people like that ew. The second issue is the same as the first method- one power per body. 

The third method is more common but harder to distill. This method closely mirrors actual alchemy from the dark ages, where all the ingredients are poured into the athanor and distilled inside. The furnace needs to be able to conduct heat. You can use a kiln, a metalworking furnace, or modern inventions like an electric pressure cooker or as its nickname “cooking” suggests, get a meth cooker. Some asshole dubbed it fixatio once trying to give it a better street name. But since Breaking Bad aired, that name is never going to stick. Once distilled, the resulting formula can be bagged or bottled for future use. This method has the most benefits- but also the most disadvantages. It’s that reason I prefer the first method, but I have dabbled into this one to expand my knowledge.  The first benefit is that the alchemy is portable. You don’t have to hunt or lead a vessel around. You can hold a lot of different formulas inside jackets, backpacks, pockets, or my favorite i’ve ever seen- a ren faire waterskin. You can be prepared for lots of encounters, but it still takes time to imbibe the entire dose. The other benefit is its lucrative possibilities. Selling these means money in pockets. And money lets you go buy more weird shit for more alchemy. It’s also excellent for quick favors. The downsides are you have to be cautious of who you’re selling to. A lot of alchemists who use this are also drug dealers and plenty of final deaths have occured from people selling on someone else’s turf. Additionally, each brewed formula is unique to their alchemist. In intelligent hands cough TREMERE (or even an alchemist armed with Tremere secrets) it can be traced back to you… or worse. Travelling around with blood bags, vials, or a waterskin can be tricky too. You have to take care that you don’t burst or break any of these creations. Oh you fell? Better hide that pool of blood spilling out from your sweatshirt pocket. On top of that, most of these aren’t shelf stable. And even if they are kept cold- some still can’t make it more than a few days before it spoils. Like the two methods before, it is a one power at a time rule. Once consumed, you gotta use whatever you drank immediately or it will fade. Lastly, the reason this is more difficult is because it requires more powerful ingredients and a stationary lab. Substitutions don’t tend to work- you gotta have the best you can get. Which gets difficult when high level preparations demand rarer and rarer ingredients.

Each alchemist is going to have their own research methods, however most of us are resorting to trial and error. However, we unanimously agree that you need to brush up on modern chemistry and learn how to hunt for specific resonances. I’ve come to learn that my sharp nose is a trait not just present in thinbloods and by some older kindred it has been dubbed “bloodhound.” I have been fortunate that I don’t need to rely on wit and observation to figure out what resonance my potential victim has. I smell it. However, those without this ability have to learn to pinpoint emotional responses and their corresponding resonance. Put simply, there are five possible resonances: Melancholic, Phlegmatic, Choleric, Sanguine, and Absent. Melancholic resonances tend to be associated with relaxation and calmness but also sadness and fear. Easy targets are stoners, funeral goers, and horror movie newbies. To me, this has an overwhelming sour smell and tart taste. Phlegmatic is content and happiness, but can also be feeling in control. This one can be one of the hardest to pinpoint, since happy feelings blend so effectively with choleric and sanguine resonances. Phlegmatic resonances have a salty smell to them. Choleric is rage and anger, but it also can be passionate and driven. Choleric resonances are typically spicy flavors, and are some of the easiest to recognize. It’s hard to mistake true anger for anything else. Sanguine is also joy and happiness, but also includes how horny someone is. Sanguine resonances are easy to find in flirtatious club goers and generally have a sugar sweet aroma. Lastly, there are those who are completely uncaring and have no resonance. This apathy is extremely difficult to pinpoint- even with my nose as it has the smell of nothing. The only distinguishable thing is that it has an overpowering bitter taste. 

Regardless of whether or not a thinblood is an alchemist, they can take advantage of these resonances to grant themselves temporary power. Most kindred need the resonance to be exceptionally potent to gain these benefits. However, thinbloods are hypersensitive to even fleeting resonances. Most of us have pieced the puzzle together that biting into a club goer equals a bit of presence for the next couple hours. But for alchemists, especially those brewing outside the body, hunting and preserving these resonances is essential for alchemy. Most resonances flicker away within fifteen minutes out of a body, so you have to act fast to get it into the formula and start brewing. 

Once the proper resonance is obtained and mixed with ingredients in the furnace, it’s pretty obvious of whether or not it worked. If it works, you have the discipline or new power until the brew is used up. If it fails, at best nothing happens. At worst, I’ve had some rough stomach aches if brewed internally. I’ve also had some mild explosions or acid seep through objects. Failure can be devastating. But it’s just a fact of the practice. 

So if it's a practice, why can only thinbloods do this?

I don’t know. I don’t think lower gen kindred can learn this. Looking at how disciplines can be gained for older vampires doesn’t seem to match how thinblood alchemy works. It much more closely resembles the paths that Tremere apprentices can choose to learn- but even they couldn’t pick up these tricks. My adoptive sire, a Tremere, tried to mimic our findings and found she could not will the blood like I or my coterie mates could. Perhaps this was part of her clan’s history and curse. However, I’ve not had other clans ever try. To most, the thought of consuming anything but blood churns their undead stomach. Some of you can’t even ingest bagged blood. The ability to eat is a rare trait in older kindred but fairly common for thinbloods. Perhaps this is why it works for us.

Additionally, thinblood alchemy allows us to replicate disciplines but also create new powers entirely. These powers may be unusable to the other clans. And I don’t mean that in the secretive way that Necromancy or Levinbolt is. Your blood is too strong and therefore isn’t affected by the slight changes in resonance and mere drops of vitae in a brew. But to a hungry thinblood, three drops of vitae, some fridge magnets, and choleric blood means we have telekinesis. 

I’m young. And if I keep playing my cards right and brewing my alchemy correctly, I’ll still be here in 40 years and hopefully can refute this entire thing with the years of knowledge I possess. But I hope this answers some questions to how alchemy works, and leaves you with plenty more for us to bargain favors for answers.