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muridae3 · 3 months ago

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The Mining Incident | Harvey x Donny

Harvey is forced to confront his worst fear after his husband is gravely injured in the mines.

**Warning: Depictions of deadly injury, blood, and surgery ahead.

Once again, I'd like to think @tuuna-jsgross for allowing me to use Donny.

“Harv, I have to get up. It’s almost six.” Donny sighed, looking at the alarm clock on the bedside table.

“But do you?” Harvey mumbled, pulling him closer. “Five more minutes.”

“You said that fifteen minutes ago, hon. The chickens will be mad at me if I’m late. And… the snow looks bad. Maybe I should just handle a few things quickly, before it gets worse.”

“Mmm…” Harvey hummed. “But you are so warm. And it is cold outside.”

“I think it’s supposed to snow like this all day.”

“Then you have to stay inside—doctor’s orders. You’ll catch a cold. Or the flu. At least wait until the sun comes up.”

Donny kissed the top of Harvey’s head. “Fine. Five minutes.”

They sat in silence for the next five minutes, the soft pitter-patter of the snowfall on the roof almost lulling Harvey back into sleep.

“I really do have to get up now.” Donny got out of bed, stretching. “I have some business to take care of on the other side of the valley, I’ll probably be back late. Don’t wait up, okay?”

“What kind of business?” Harvey asked, sitting up and putting on his glasses.

“Just gathering some resources. It’s winter, what else do I have to do?”

“Fair enough. Dress warmly, okay? I don’t want you getting sick.”

“I’m planning on three layers, at least,” Donny said with a wink. “Are you going into the clinic today?”

“Mhm. I’ll bring home dinner and leave it in the oven so you’ll have something warm to eat tonight.” Harvey got out of bed, stretching.

“Thanks, sweetie.” Donny kissed Harvey before taking his clothes into the bathroom.

Harvey decided to surprise him with a complete breakfast– after all, chopping down trees requires a lot of energy.

Donny emerged from the bathroom just as Harvey was plating the scrambled eggs.

“Aw, Harv, you made all this for me?”

“Of course I did. You’re gonna be chopping wood all day in the cold. I am not letting my beloved husband go hungry. Eggs are a good source of protein, so eat up!” Harvey smiled at his husband. “I have to go get ready, but when I come back, this plate better be empty.”

“Yes, doc.” Donny kissed Harvey’s cheek before sitting down to eat.

Donny was gone by the time Harvey was ready for the day, but Harvey was very happy to see a clean plate, a travel mug full of coffee, and a note waiting for him on the table.

Thanks for breakfast. Made coffee. Stay warm!

Luv,

Harvey tucked the note into his pocket before setting the plate in the sink. Picking up the mug of coffee, he couldn’t help but smile at the gesture. He reverently inhaled the scent of the warm drink before taking a sip, savoring the taste. He would be forever grateful that Donny had gone through so much effort to procure, grow, and grind his own coffee beans, just so Harvey could have high-quality coffee whenever he wanted.

After leaving the farmhouse, Harvey hurried to the clinic, the crunch of snow beneath his boots echoing in the still morning air. The cold bit at his cheeks, a stark contrast to the warmth he’d just left behind. Inside, the clinic was eerily quiet, the only sound the ticking of the clock on the wall. He busied himself with writing notes, but his mind was back at the farmhouse, wishing to share Donny’s warmth and feel his strong arms around his frame.

“The day’s only half over, Harvey… you’re getting older.” He sighed to himself, ascending the stairs to his old apartment.

Though he had long since moved into the farmhouse, he kept the apartment as a breakroom for himself and Maru. The fridge was well-stocked with produce from the farm, and Harvey decided to treat himself to one of the Super Meals Donny had brought over the other day.

Just as he sat down to eat, he heard Maru call him from the clinic. “Doc! Come quick! We’ve got a situation!”

Concerned, Harvey quickly left the apartment, sliding on his white coat as he descended the stairs.

What he saw in the lobby made his blood run cold.

Marlon and Gil stood in the lobby, covered in dirt and blood. Donny was precariously balanced between them, one arm around each of their shoulders. Blood dripped from a large wound in his abdomen, creating a steadily growing puddle of red on the floor.

His worst nightmare had become reality.

“Bay one. Prep for emergency surgery.” He heard himself say before his legs carried him to the prep area. As he changed into scrubs, he tried to suppress his panic attack.

What on earth had happened? How had Donny been hurt? How long had he been bleeding? How much blood had he lost? Where had he been?

Harvey took a steadying breath, begging his hands to stop shaking.

“Doc? We’re ready.” Maru called.

“I’ll–I’ll be there in just a s-second.” Harvey responded, his voice shaking.

He took off his mermaid’s pendant, gently setting it on top of his clothes. Just then, Donny’s note from that morning fluttered to the ground. Harvey’s eyes filled with tears, seeing his beloved husband’s rushed handwriting.

Would there ever be another note like this?

Would there ever be any more coffee in the morning, rushed breakfasts, or sleepy cuddles before a long day’s work?

Would there ever be any more late-night aviation documentary marathons, dinners at the saloon, or walks on the beach?

Would there ever be any happiness for Harvey, or would the loss of Donny snuff out everything he had?

Harvey wiped his tears away before preparing to scrub in. “He’s not dead yet, Harvey. He’s not dead yet.”

The surgery went well, according to Maru. Harvey didn’t even remember performing it. All he remembered was the blood– so much blood. Harvey’s hands, arms, gown, and scrubs were covered in it.

But, miraculously, Donny had survived.

Harvey didn’t leave his side that night, or the next.

Maru had to remind him to eat, but he didn’t have an appetite. All he could think about were the myriad complications that could arise.

Harvey’s mind raced, each thought more terrifying than the last. What if he got an infection? What if he went septic? The image of Donny lying pale and lifeless on a hospital bed flashed in his mind. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to push it away. What if he was bleeding internally? What if I missed something? He could still feel the warm, sticky blood on his hands, the weight of Donny’s life in his trembling fingers. What if he’s slipping away right now, and I’m not even aware of it?

“Doc, you haven’t slept in two days,” Maru said, entering the recovery bay and bringing Harvey out of his thoughts.

“I’m fine. Go tend the front desk, Maru. I’m in no state to see patients right now.” Harvey rubbed his eyes.

“Harvey, I love you, but you’re gonna kill yourself. You’ll need the energy to help Donny recover. You and I both know he isn’t out of the woods yet. Go shower, go eat, go sleep. I will not leave his side if that makes you feel better.”

“I can’t leave him, Maru. I just… I can’t.”

“Harvey, you’re not listening to me. Donald does not need you to be sick, too. Go take care of yourself. I will sit right here.”

“I…” He trailed off when he saw the look in her eyes. “One hour.”

“Three.” She countered.

“Two.”

“Deal. Go.”

Harvey slowly ascended into the apartment, the weariness finally settling into his bones.

After showering and eating a microwave meal, he fell into bed, falling asleep before his head hit the pillow.

His dreams were plagued with his worry– he saw Donny’s injury, dripping blood onto the white floors of the clinic.

He saw the heart monitor flatline.

He saw himself doing chest compressions before calling the time of death.

He saw a coffin.

He saw a funeral.

He saw a grave.

He saw an empty farm, weeds overtaking all of Donny’s hard work.

He saw himself, alone in the farmhouse.

And selfishly, that was what scared him the most.

He shot awake, clutching his heart as it frantically tried to beat out of his chest.

When he looked at the clock, he saw that he had been asleep for nearly four hours.

He cursed under his breath as he sprang out of bed and rushed downstairs, moving faster than he had in years.

He threw back the curtain of the recovery bay, flabbergasted by what he saw.

Donny was awake.

“Hi, honey,” Donny said softly.

Harvey burst into tears, falling into the chair beside Donny’s bed.

“I was– I thought– you were–” Harvey hiccupped, unable to string a sentence together.

“I’m sorry, Harvey.” Donny took Harvey’s hand in his own. “I’m so sorry. Please don’t cry. I can’t

stand it when you cry.”

“Sweet Yoba, Donald…” Harvey sobbed.

Donny cupped Harvey’s cheek with his other hand. “Look at me, Harv. I’m okay. You saved my life.”

Harvey finally allowed himself to look at Donny. “I–I’m sorry. I sh-should be asking about your pain level. I should be the one comforting you, not the other way around.” He wiped away his tears.

“Maru already checked in on all that stuff. I’m not in as much pain as you would think, though that might be the painkillers talking.” Donny raised Harvey’s hand to his lips, pressing a gentle kiss to his knuckles. “Besides, I’m sure that was nerve-wracking for you. I owe you my life, my love.”

A new wave of tears streamed down Harvey’s cheeks.

Donny wiped them away with his thumb. “I know you want to talk about what happened–”

“Later. I don’t think I could handle it right now. We need to focus on your recovery and getting you home.” Harvey broke away from Donny.

“Okay.” Donny broke eye contact, shame reddening his cheeks.

The next day, Harvey managed to convince Lewis to lend him his truck to transport Donny home.

“Easy now… take it slow.” Harvey chided as Donny slowly stood from the bed. “Let’s get you home.”

Donny leaned heavily on Harvey as they left the clinic, keeping his eyes firmly on the ground.

Harvey drove home in silence, occasionally glancing at Donny to make sure he was okay.

After pulling up to the farmhouse, Harvey shut off the engine. “Are you ready to go inside, or do you need a minute?”

“I’m good,” Donny responded with a nod.

Harvey helped Donny inside and into bed. “Do you need anything? Snack? Water? Meds?”

“I need to talk to you about what happened. I know you’re avoiding it, but I have to get it off my chest. Sit, please.” He patted the spot next to him.

Harvey gingerly sat next to his husband, turning to Donny. “I can’t promise that I won’t get angry, but I’ll try to listen.”

“Okay. So this is what happened: I was in the mountains like I told you, but I wasn’t chopping down trees. I was in the mines, gathering resources. I know you said the clinic budget was a little tighter than you would like this season, so I thought I could gather some minerals and such to sell so you wouldn’t have to worry.” Donny’s voice was soft, almost pleading. “I didn’t want you to have to bear that burden alone, Harvey. You’ve done so much for me—for this town. I just wanted to give something back, to take care of you the way you’ve always taken care of me. I was deeper than I normally go, but I was having such good luck, I decided to keep going. I don’t know if you know about…” He took a breath. “About the monsters in the mine, but there are a lot. I’m usually pretty good at defending myself, but I didn’t even see the skeleton coming– ran me right through. Marlon and Gil found me, I guess, and that’s how I got back to you.”

Harvey took a breath, trying to suppress his rage. “This is why I told you not to go to the mines. You and I both know the dangers it holds. What if Marlon and Gil hadn’t gotten to you in time?” He ran a hand through his hair. “... what if you had–”

“I… I’ll be more careful. I swear it, Harv. I won’t put you through this again.” Donny looked truly ashamed of himself.

“More careful won’t cut it, Donald!” Harvey snapped, immediately regretting his tone when he saw Donny flinch. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have spoken like that. What I mean is that you can’t just… risk everything like that. Not for me, not for anyone.”

“I wasn’t thinking, okay? I just wanted to help. But I realize now… I realize how much I could’ve lost. How much we could’ve lost.” Donny’s voice cracked, his eyes glistening with unshed tears.

Harvey sighed, the anger draining out of him, leaving only exhaustion and fear. “Just… promise me. Promise me you’ll talk to me before doing something like this again.”

“I promise,” Donny whispered, reaching for Harvey’s hand. “I promise.”

Harvey pressed a kiss to his forehead. “Thank you, darling. Thank you.”

#darvey #harvey stardew valley #stardew valley #writing #stardew valley fanfiction #stardew valley harvey #harvey x original character

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februaryflowers · 2 years ago

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letters from park seonghwa

with seonghwa abroad, he leaves a series of letters with just what you need to hear to feel better in his absence. but the last one he writes, the last letter is everything you want to hear

check out the playlist for letters from park seonghwa here !

warnings: some parts imply the reader overworks themself, mutual pining, reader is pretty sad without him, language, kissing, poorly proofread sorry ;-;

mostly hurt/comfort but i promise the ending is fluff, 6317 words, best friend!seonghwa x reader | uni au

a/n: this one is kinda more rushed than my last ateez fics but im impulsive and i love seonghwa heh so my apologies if it’s eh😭

Sliding your arms around Seonghwa’s neck and down his chest, you peer around his head. “What’re you doing?”

At your voice, his shoulders jolt up before quickly relaxing once more. “I dunno,” he hums, shrugging. “Just tryna pass time. I’m bored,” he whines.

Running a hand through his hair, you sigh. “I know. I’ll be done soon, I promise, sorry. God, I hate essays.”

He pouts as you untangle yourself from him and head back to your bed, brows instantly furrowing as your fingers start to clack against the laptop keys once more. With a sigh, he returns to his idling. He always worries about you, about how you manage your mountainous workload. Will everything be okay when he’s gone?

Even as he tries to focus his attention on the pages in front of him, he can’t seem to shake you from his thoughts. Folding the paper, he glances to you once more, frowning as he watches the tension in your slouched shoulders. He hasn’t had the heart to tell you about his departure, and time is ticking down until he has to go. Of course, you knew that he had to get an internship for his graduation requirements, but did it have to be so soon?

So one paper craft turns to five, to ten, and soon enough, as the hours tick by, he probably has over a hundred. Before he knows it, he’s stuffing them into his bag, looking up to see your head lolling to the side, your body tilting so much he’s surprised you haven’t fallen over.

He chuckles softly, shuffling over to you and prying the laptop from your grasp.

“I-I’m almost…done…” your murmur, your eyes drooping more and more with every second that passes.

“You can finish in the morning,” he coos. “You need rest.”

With your chest now rising and falling in slow breaths, Seonghwa pulls the blankets up to your chin, brushing the side of your face with his finger. “Sleep well,” he murmurs, smiling at the little quirk of your lips that appears at the sound of his voice. “Dream of me.”

You apparently have enough energy to lift your hand, only for it to fall back down in what he guesses is supposed to be a playful swat before sleep comes to you. With one last look at you as he turns off the lights, he sighs and pads to his room.

Tomorrow, tomorrow he will tell you.

You try to keep the drive as lighthearted as possible. With your shared car playlist blasting in the background and the two of you bobbing your heads along to the beat, you can almost pretend that today isn’t going to crush you.

But as the minutes tick down and the traffic builds with your approach towards the airport, the weight on your chest grows and grows, your out-of-tune singing growing quieter and quieter. Ever knowing, Seonghwa reaches for one of your hands, prying your fingers from the wheel and into his grasp.

“I’m gonna miss you,” you croak, your voice finally breaking. “I’m gonna miss you so much, Seonghwa.”

“I’m gonna miss you too, baby,” he murmurs, squeezing your hand.

His words don’t help the heaviness in your heart. You don’t even remember when he started calling you baby. He’d said it was because he was just so fond of you and wanted to take care of you whenever he began using that term of endearment. He’d given you the brightest smile and pinched your warming cheeks that day, and every day since, he has given you the biggest swarm of butterflies.

Maybe you’re dreaming, but it feels different than it used to. And that definitely makes your heart clench, wishing that it was. In another universe, another lifetime, another plane, Seonghwa loves you like that. But it’s not here.

Here, Seonghwa is simply your best friend, your beloved roommate. Perhaps he’ll find a lover abroad. And, even if it crushes you, you’ll still smile. Because, even more than you want him, you really want him to be happy, even if it’s not with you.

His humming takes over, shuffle play bringing a slow song to the speakers, a soft love song, because of course your best friend is a sappy romantic at heart. While it provides some ease to your racing nerves, you’re still all too aware of how he plays with your fingers, tapping the rhythm against each tip. It’s as if he just knows you, your mind, so well, that he can make your knees weak and your brain jelly without as much as a second thought, without even knowing that he’s doing it to you.

With the instruments finally coming to a quiet close, he pauses, turning to meet your profile and lowering your intertwined hands to his knee. “Can I ask you something?” he exhales.

“Anything, always.”

“It’s kind of selfish of me…” he whispers.

“That’s okay.”

Biting his lip, he looks to the floor. “Could you…smile for me?”

You pause, the car simultaneously coming to a stop at the red light.

But he senses your hesitation as a soft no, one you don’t have the heart to say out right. “It’s okay,” he says, untangling your fingers and instead placing his hand over yours on his thigh. “It’s selfish, I know. You have every right to be sad. I just—” He sighs. “I’m not gonna be seeing the real thing for the next two months; I wanna remember your smile.”

You forgot, if anything, your best friend is also cheesy as hell. A chuckle arises from your tight throat, causing a smile to bloom over your features. And it’s in that moment that a familiar quickened rhythm overtakes his heart.

He grins, reaching his fingers up to brush your cheek. “There it is.”

And ease returns once more, your dramatic crooning returning. You can pretend. You can do it for him. You will yourself to do this one thing for him after all he’s done for you.

But it just can’t be contained when you make it to the parking lot and help take out his suitcases.

“It’s okay,” you sniffle, brushing away streams of water that run down your face with a small smile.

Despite that curve on your face, the heavy burden on your heart builds and builds as the moments tick down to when you and Seonghwa will be apart. You don’t think you can remember a time in your whole college career where you went so long without him. Every summer break or holiday recess, he’d be there, visiting you, teasing you about how lonely you were without him. And now, it’s too real.

Taking you into his embrace, he rubs your back, leaning his head against you gently. “Baby, no,” he murmurs, a quiet shush to your tears. “It’s okay to be sad. If I could stay—”

“No,” you chuckle, shaking your head. Salty droplets continue to pour down your face, stinging your skin, but you pull back from Seonghwa, brushing his hair away from his face. “You’re gonna save the world or something,” you smile sadly. “I’ll be okay.”

Seonghwa wants to say that you’re the world to him, his world, but the words die on his tongue when he meets your glazed gaze that reflects the airport lights back to him. You just mean so much to him. What if he loses—

With one last squeeze, you finally detach yourself from your best friend, patting your cheeks with your sleeves and brushing off your jacket. If you don’t let go now, you don’t think you’ll be able to stop crying before he leaves. You might not be able to ever let him go.

Exhaling, you force a smile on your face, past the swollen eyes and runny nose. “Now go make me proud, Park,” you tease.

As he steps away, his luggage wheels squeaking against the tile as he pulls the handle, your lip begins to quiver once more. God, you just wanted to reassure him. He always worries so much about you, and here you are, holding him back when he has no choice but to go. And—

His movement pauses, before he turns around, blinking back at you.

“Seonghwa?” you call, taking steps towards him. “Did you forget something?”

“Hold on.”

He sinks to his knees, slinging his backpack over his shoulder and pulling out a glass jar.

“Hwa!?” you giggle. “You know you can’t bring that on the plane; What if it broke! You’re so silly, y’know. Good thing you remembered—”

Standing, he zips the bag shut once more and hands it to you wordlessly. Despite the words tumbling around in your brain, the butterflies swarming your stomach, you tell yourself that his pallor is from his nervousness about flying, his important internship for graduation. Seonghwa would never like you like that, right?

“Is…that for me?” you squeak, your voice unusually feeble.

He nods, holding it out to you again. “Open them whenever you’re feeling sad, okay?”

“O-okay…” Taking the container in your hands, you dare to meet his gaze. “Thank you for thinking of me.”

“How could I ever not think of you, y/n?” he asks, his eyes round and soft as he quirks his head. He then forces his lips into a small smile, wrapping his arms around you for the briefest second before he pulls away. “I’ll be back before you know it.”

It’ll feel like a lifetime, an eternity, instead of the actual two months it’ll be. But you can’t keep him here when he has to go, when he can change the world for the better. So instead, you take your free hand to squeeze his.

“You’re gonna kick butt.”

Pushing him off then waving until he’s out of view, you wait until you return to your car to bury your face in your hands. Are the hundreds of other people here saying goodbye too?

Even though there are probably many other teary partings and weary friends and lovers, it all feels irrelevant. Do they understand each other like you and Seonghwa do? Do they love each other like you and Seonghwa do? Do they need each other as much as you need Seonghwa?

So, despite being in his arms less than five minutes ago, you take the jar from the passenger seat, unscrewing the silver lid to pull out the first of many objects that fill the rounded glass. Every last centimeter of the container has been crammed with paper, origami envelopes with a heart to open them. You don’t even know how he had this much time to finish all these, especially while he was preparing for his internship and departure.

Running a finger under your eye and flicking away the droplets that don’t seem to stop, you let a small breath into your lungs, courage to pluck out the paper laying right on top finally coming.

You can’t help the small, amused huff that comes through after you open it.

A letter. Of course.

Dear y/n, Are you sitting in the parking lot crying right now? We just said goodbye right? I know I’m teasing you as I write from the past, when our departure doesn’t weigh as heavily on my mind, but that also means it hurts less right now. I guarantee that when I’m in the middle of check in I’ll start bawling. Sure, we’ll be time zones apart, an ocean away, but, really, call me whenever you need, whenever you want. Don’t even worry about it. I want to hear about your day, what you’re up to, how classes are, what San and Wooyoung are up to, anything, everything. And I’ll be back before you know it. I promise. I miss you so much already. Love, Seonghwa

Your phone dings just as you read his name, tracing your fingers over his elegant signature. Fishing the screen out of the cup holder, you’re met with a photo from Seonghwa.

“‘I told you so,’” you read aloud.

Admittedly you chuckle at his silly antics, even if it does set off a pang in your chest to see him so teary eyed. He’s going to change the world and pretty much complete the last big push of his graduation requirements. He shouldn’t be feeling that sad. Is it your fault?

But before your thoughts can settle and take root in your mind, another notification pops on the screen with another text from Seonghwa.

“‘Thank you for smiling for me. Text me when you get home safely. I’ll be here for a few hours,’” you repeat.

It takes everything to turn on the ignition and put the car in drive, but with a slow exhale and Seonghwa’s words covering the worries running around your mind, you manage to pull out of your parking spot and onto the road. These next weeks will be impossibly long.

Even though you already sort of knew it, you quickly remember that life without Seonghwa is so gray and dull. The sky even agrees with you, the days following his departure filled with overcast skies and rain.

Every morning you wake up to a quiet apartment, no Seonghwa waiting at the island with breakfast for you, no Seonghwa to keep you company on the walk to class, and no Seonghwa to come home to, greeting you with the best hug you’ve ever had (Yes it gets better every day. You don’t know how but it does.) Of course your friends all begin taking on extra care for you in his absence, meeting you for lunch or bringing dinner by, studying with you more often, hanging out more frequently. And you appreciate it, you really do. You really do have fun and enjoy the time with them. But there’s nothing like having Seonghwa in the flesh by your side.

And it hits one late night, the moon high above you, the only light in a starless sky. It hasn’t even been a week since you said goodbye. Slumping down on the oddly empty sofa, you sigh, your fingers itching for the phone a foot away.

Your friends have already gone home from your weekly Friday night shenanigans, which means that you should be putting on a funny movie with Seonghwa to conclude the evening. His cuddles are probably the best way to finish up a tiring week, reinvigorating you with excitement and energy for the next days to come.

With the weight building on your chest, you let a soft breath leave your lips before you give in to the nagging in your heart. Sure, you talked with him this morning, but you’d really like to hear his voice now for a moment, at least.

y/n [ 12:06 am ] : are you busy?

Of course he doesn’t respond. It’s right in the middle of the workday for him. He has other things to do. But you can’t pick yourself up off the couch. You don’t know exactly what you’re waiting for. Fingers tapping mindlessly against the fabric, it isn’t until a soft ding echoes around the room that you shift.

seonghwa [ 12:08 am ] : in a meeting :( i’ll be done in 20 though

seonghwa [ 12:08 am ] : is smthn wrong?

y/n [ 12:09 am ] : nothing…just miss you…

Yeah, you should really head to bed. He’ll be busy even when the meeting ends. Waiting here will only make you more miserable.

Pushing yourself off the sofa, you shuffle to the bathroom, brushing your teeth until you hear the quiet buzzing once more. As you rinse your mouth out, you find your eyes in the mirror.

Seonghwa wouldn’t want you to be this sad, would he? He always loved, loves still, your smile, always pinching your cheeks when you have a wide grin or a matching one of his own growing on his face when you’re particularly happy.

seonghwa [ 12:11 am ] : sorry baby :( i miss you too i’ll call you tn

seonghwa [ 12:12 am ] : why don’t you open a letter for me?

y/n [ 12:12 am ] : okay

y/n [ 12:13 am ] : gonna head to bed after though so dw gl with your meeting

seonghwa [ 12:13 am ] : sleep well baby :)

Unscrewing the jar, you carry it into your room and leave the glass on the nightstand before pulling out a small blue envelope. From the crooked creases, you’re guessing it must’ve been one of his first projects, which causes a small smile to force its way to your face as you imagine him redoing the same folds over and over until they were clean enough for his standards with furrowed brows. As you scoot into bed, you rest your back against the pillows and unfold the paper.

Brushing the smooth surface with your fingers, you finally let out a small breath and find his words.

Dear y/n, Are you tucked into bed? I hope you are. I hope you’re getting enough rest, taking plenty of breaks, and still enjoying life without me. Did Jongho take you out for lunch today? Did you hang out with Yunho and Mingi? You can tell me all about it later; I’m sure it’s late now and you’re tired.

That’s right. You have a lunch date with Jongho tomorrow. And you did study with Yunho and Mingi at the boba place near campus, even if you quickly devolved into laughter and anything but studying.

You do miss Seonghwa. You wish he was with you here instead of being on the other side of an ocean. You really do. But there’s so much fun to be had with all your friends.

With a reluctant smile, you continue reading.

When you finish this note, I want you to close your eyes. I might be far from you physically, but you are never far from my thoughts. I’ll be thinking of you every day. I already do. When I see the sun rise, you’re watching the same sun set, just on the other side of the planet. Two sides of the same coin. I’m still with you, baby. So close your eyes. Smile for me? I’m never far so don’t miss me too much :) I’ll be home soon. Sleep well and dream of me ;) Seonghwa

There’s a teary smile on your face as you finish his words. Flicking a stray droplet from your cheek, you sigh.

What are you ever going to do with that man?

With a playful shake of your head, you attempt to fold the paper back into the shape it was given to you in, but you can’t seem to find the right combination of creases to turn the flat page into a beautiful letter once more. You’ll have to ask Seonghwa how to do it when he comes home. But for now, you start the pile of finished notes on your desk, smoothing out the lines so the page will lie flat next to your stacks of books.

Perhaps Seonghwa’s letter is exactly what you needed to hear, the heavy allure of sleep beginning to take its toll on your drooping eyes and a yawn escaping from your lips. Crawling back to bed, you close your eyes. It might be your imagination—you know it is—but it’s as if you can feel him sitting next to your drowsy figure, watching over you protectively.

On nights like this one, he’d normally tuck you in tightly under the blanket before busying himself with his homework at your desk until you fell asleep. Tonight is far from that, but, even half asleep, you know he’s still taking care of you from a world away. This isn’t what you’re used to, but today is okay. Sleep comes quickly.

Today sucks. Today is the worst day you can remember in the last year. So you failed your exam. And your project team is driving you up the wall. It seems every inconvenience that can go wrong does go wrong, leaving you exasperated as you drop your keys at the front door after a long day.

Shuffling into your room, your fingers fish out from the jar, unfolding the delicate page a little rougher than you should. With a huff, you collapse on the bed, holding the letter above you.

Dear y/n, How’s your final project going? You’re supposed to be doing one of those for your design class this semester, right? I know you must be stressed around now. I hope you’re remembering to take it easy. You’re doing so much work; you gotta take care of yourself, baby. Take a break. Go on a walk. Get boba with Hongjoong (lord knows he needs a break too). Even if you think you need to finish everything right now, you need to put yourself first. Your health matters. You matter. And you don’t want to burn out before the semester ends, do you? If you can’t do it for those things, could you do it for me? Because, most of all, I hope you remember to be gentle with yourself. I know this degree is important to you, but above everything, you are the most important. You’re the most precious star, baby. I’m proud of you already. Don’t worry too much, yeah? Love, Seonghwa

You think that’s what does you in, little streams beginning to flow down the mountains and valleys of your cheeks. It’s not even the frustration from your day. How does Seonghwa—past, present and future—just know exactly what you need to hear when you need to hear it? What ever did you do to be blessed by having a friend like him?

Placing the letter on the neat stack you’ve amassed, you return to your bed, not wanting to smudge his ink with your tears. Sunset prickles through the window shades, sneaking under your closed lids as you try to rest. While the still quiet is nice, in your heart you know Seonghwa is right. It’d be good to hang out with someone.

So you open your eyes, retracing your steps through the apartment to find your phone on the kitchen counter.

y/n [ 5:36 pm ] : do you wanna get boba maybe?

hongjoong [ 5:37 pm ] : ofc???

hongjoong [ 5:37 pm ] : ill come by we can walk together?

Laughing with Hongjoong, you can feel every ounce of irritation that’d built up in you the whole day being replaced by the second. It’s almost a little annoying how well Seonghwa knows every corner of your mind.

y/n [ 4:26 pm ] : SEONGHWA SEONGHWA

y/n [ 4:26 pm ] : SEONGHWA I GOT THE JOB

Checking the time, you let out a small sigh. He’s probably asleep. You know he’ll see your messages when he wakes up in the morning, but it’s not quite the same as celebrating with him in real time, still off the high of the email in your inbox.

It’s become a habit now, finding that glass jar whenever you wish he was with you instead. Yet again, you crawl on the bed, wrangling a piece of paper out from the container. The one you pull up is a little fancier than the ones you’ve picked previously, a pristine white page with small bunny and confetti stickers. It makes you pause, squinting at the folded envelope.

There’s no way Seonghwa would know, right?

Dear y/n, Congratulations! Maybe you guessed from the celebratory stickers I put on, but I wrote this one for a special occasion. I hope you’ll tell me all about it when we have a chance to talk again, but I hope this will suffice in the time being. Regardless, I want you to know that I’m so proud of you. Even if you opened this on a different kind of day, I’m proud of you. I’m so proud of who you are and all you’ve accomplished any day of the week. My best friend is so kind and sweet but also smart and a badass. But I just know that you’ll read this one on a good kind of day. So congratulations! I know, whatever it may be, that you deserve it. You are so capable, baby. You’ll still tell me about it when you’re rich and successful though right? ;) Love, Seonghwa

Oh, curse him. He genuinely baffles you. What kind of guy can predict the future like that? (He knew. He always has faith in you.) And what kind of coincidence must there be for you to open the exact note today?

And it just reaffirms the little thought in your mind that there is nobody in the world quite like Seonghwa. You don’t think there’ll be anyone as wonderful and gentle and caring as him. But to top it all off, he just understands you through and through.

While you just clicked all those years ago, he also listened. He never stopped. He simply tries his best with you, and will never let you go so easily. He still does. What’s between you is more than an initial spark.

It still burns. You’re more than content to keep fanning the gentle flame that keeps you both cozy. And Seonghwa and his warmth are the best company to sit around that fire with. It will always burn bright.

Of course when he reads your messages in the morning, he celebrates and cheers with you, almost as loud as you know he would be if he was actually here.

You grow less dependent on Seonghwa’s little notes as time goes by. You’ll still take them out sometimes when you miss him particularly badly or for fun, but definitely less than the first weeks. Your texts and video chats are still as frequent as before, though. If you had to go two months without seeing his smile you aren’t sure what you’d both do.

This weekend you find yourself at the farmer’s market with San and Wooyoung. As the former goes around trying to get free samples and the latter actually looks for groceries, you wander off to the lake.

Families and pets are scattered along the shore, enjoying the spring breeze through the bright sky. Summer will come soon, an inkling of humidity sticking in the wind that blows past the shining sun.

The last time you came here was two years ago with Seonghwa. Another opportunity never really came up to return, but San and Wooyoung insisted you come today and you wanted to visit again anyway, agreeing to tag along. And next year, you’ll all graduate, making your way into the real world. It’s a little hard to believe.

But this is the kind of memory you’d like to savor, to revisit.

Stepping out of the shade of the treeline, you let your eyes find a little family of ducklings. The babies tail behind their mother, and, almost as if they can sense your gaze, they turn and let out small quacks. With a chuckle, you give a small wave before they all head on their way once more, your heart growing in your chest at their flapping, splashing wings.

“Y/n!” San calls.

“We got donuts. Do you want one?” Wooyoung asks.

Turning to them you smile. “Sure. Just gimme a moment.”

This is the kind of thing Seonghwa would coo at, a simple, adorable moment. You’d probably be able to convince him to come here with you when he comes back with the promise of free samples alone. Everything else would just be another cherry on top.

Regardless, you want a picture, just for yourself, your own personal scrapbook in your mind. The animals, the weather, the scenery, it’s all a little too picturesque to not immortalize.

But before you can even unlock the screen, your eyes find the date.

Your best friend is coming back in a week.

You made it.

While you certainly can survive without Seonghwa, there’s something about having him in the flesh that adds an extra sparkle and brightness to life. And he’ll be back before you know it. You survived months. You can make it another week.

Snapping the photo, you hurry over to your friends and gladly take the glazed donut hole that Wooyoung hands you. Nothing has ever tasted so sweet.

The night before Seonghwa’s return, the glass jar catches your eye. A lone page sits on the bottom, all its brethren now stacked neatly on your desk under a paperweight.

Drying your face, you smile. What the hell. You might as well open it.

Crawling into bed, you take the letter. Everything is as it should be. Seonghwa is on his plane home, back to you. You finished the semester with the best grades of your whole college career. You just had a fun night out with your seven other crazy friends.

Unfolding the creases, a path you’ve memorized and can now do without a second thought, you swallow upon seeing the paragraphs in front of you.

You already know this is going to be different.

With a shaky breath, you begin.

Dear y/n, I hope things have been going according to plan and this is the last letter you open before I come home. I’ll be back soon and, even if I haven’t left yet as I write this, I know the first thing I’ll want to do when I land is fall into your arms and hold you until you complain about needing to pee or something. I already know I will miss you terribly. And maybe, my hope in writing this, in our distance, is to protect my fragile heart. I know I’m being cowardly in not telling you this in person, but if you find you don’t see me in the way I see you, that’s okay. I will love you as a friend all the same and you can burn this letter and pretend the last 10 minutes never happened. But I love you. I love you in every way I have been taught to love and then some. I have fallen so deeply for you that a simple, ordinary life with you would be more meaningful and happy than any alternative, a timeline in which every other dream I have could come true. My heart is yours, has been shaped and nurtured and protected by you; I don’t think I know what it would be like if I’d never met you. Every day I wake up and see you in our kitchen before going to class, and I can’t help but feel lucky to know you. Yet, despite that, I can’t promise that I will be everything you need in a person, in the world. But I promise that I will try to protect your beautiful heart, your bright-eyed wonder, until you are so sure of them that nothing will shake you. And even then, I will still be in your corner, a shoulder to lean on. Just say the word. I can't wait to come home. Yours always, Seonghwa

By the end, you can’t stop the waterfall of salty droplets falling from your face. You clutch the letter to your racing heart, trying to take a slow breath to calm all the nerves in your body that have been lit.

Seonghwa…your Seonghwa…he loves you…

You always knew he loved you. You know he does now.

It’s just…he loves you in one more way.

You don’t think twice as you bring the page with you to your desk, already pulling out your own page and finding a pen. After all the letters he’s written you, you think it’s only fair that you write one back to him. Even if you can’t stop the few tears that soak your paper of your single note, you hope it’ll be enough to match the time and attention he put into his hundred.

Your little airport pickup sign has Seonghwa’s name in large, black sharpie on the front, but as you hold it up, the back of it is what causes a lump to form in your throat. The triangular paper flap that has since been taped down can change everything now. When Seonghwa opens it, nothing will be the same, and you won’t be able to go back.

But you know it’ll all be for the better.

Rocking on your heels, you scan the exit tunnel area once more. He’d texted you that he’d made it through customs a while ago, so it could be any minute now. But your impatience takes over, and you pull out your phone to check for new messages.

With your foot tapping at the tile, you don’t even notice the footsteps towards you until their owner is wrapping his arms around you.

“Y/n,” he sighs, his breath falling to your skin.

While you jolt at the surprise, you quickly relax into his familiar warmth, letting small pools form in the corners of your eyes. It doesn’t surprise you either when you feel similar drops landing on your shirt.

“I missed you,” you cry.

“I missed you too.”

He rocks you back and forth, the two of you eventually sinking to the ground to simply hold each other. Nothing can get in the way of you finally being together with him once more.

“How was your internship?”

“Good, they gave me a glowing review to my advisor.” He snuggles his head further against you. “How’ve you been?”

“You say that like I haven’t spoken to you every day,” you chuckle, flicking away the wetness on your cheeks with your hands before they quickly return to their spot on his back.

“I wanna hear about everything,” he says. “Even if you repeat it ten times over. I’m always gonna wanna hear what you have to say, y/n.”

Blinking, you find it in yourself to pull away, still in his arms, just at a further distance so you can meet his eyes. “There’s…there’s actually one thing I didn’t tell you.”

He swallows. Did you start seeing someone? You would’ve told him, right? Or maybe…you read his letter…and you thought telling him in person would soften the blow. “W-what is it?”

You hand him the envelope silently, staring at his smooth hands as he opens it and pulls out the piece of paper tucked neatly inside. It’s so simple, yet it holds your whole heart on it.

He glances at you before his eyes find the words once more and he begins.

Dear Seonghwa, It’s silly. You spent so much time writing me notes and letters, filling pages with heartfelt words that you just knew I needed to hear somehow always when I needed them most. You never ran out of the most perfect words. And yet, I can’t even figure out what to say in my first one. I don’t know if I can ever truly explain or understand how much I love you. You deserve to know, though, so I’ll try my best, but I can only hope that this is enough. Your last letter to me was different in a few ways, no? If I’m reading things right, it was a confession, right? It was primarily for your feelings rather than mine. And, most of all, it was everything I wanted to hear and then some. The stars would be so proud to know they created you. I’m so honored that you feel I have shaped your wonderful heart in the way that I have, but I want you to know that you, your heart, yourself, you are stunning just as you are. I don’t really know what I’m saying here but I hope you will always be happy. And I’d love it if I could be that person to make you happy. I love you. I think I always have. It just grew and grew, and I hope it doesn’t stop. Because, Park Seonghwa, you’re the one I love most. Your partner in everything (and hopefully one more way), y/n

You’ve stopped staring for a long while, just listening to the hustle around the little bubble you’ve made on the floor. You don’t think you have the heart to see his face as he reads everything you poured into that letter.

“Y/n,” he murmurs.

You hum, still refusing to meet his eyes.

“Could you look at me?”

When you don’t budge, he lifts his fingers to your chin. Giving you a moment to look at him on your own, he turns your head from the ground.

“Have I told you…how much I love you?”

Finding his round orbs, you swallow. Of course his eyes always sparkle like that, but you don’t think you’ve ever seen them so bright. The soft blanket of his steady gaze is trained on you, a warm fondness and affection that causes your stomach to swoop. You’d never be able to describe how stunning his eyes are. Not even the most talented painter creating their finest masterpiece could match their beauty. And…it’s all for you…?

“Was it okay?” you squeak.

He smiles, brushing your cheek. “More than okay.” Tucking you into him, he rests his lips on your head. “It was perfect. You will always be more than enough.”

In the middle of your bubble, you give him a squeeze, resting your weight against him. He’s really here, with you, in your arms. And…

“Does that mean…you’re mine?”

He tests the waters, pressing a kiss to your temple. “And you’re mine, baby.”

“I like that.”

Grinning, he begins rubbing long strokes down your back. “I like that too, angel.”

But as you spot some of the other strangers you’d been waiting with begin to shuffle towards the exit with their friends and family, you try to stand, only to be met with the resistance of Seonghwa’s grip.

“Hey! I’m not letting you go just yet,” he laughs, the tears collecting in his eyes finally dropping from his lashes and onto his cheeks. “I’m not letting go until you complain you need to pee or something.”

#ateez x reader #ateez fluff #ateez imagines #ateez fics #ateez x you #ateez angst #ateez scenarios #seonghwa imagines #seonghwa scenarios #seonghwa fluff #seonghwa angst #seonghwa x reader #seonghwa fics #ateez seonghwa #mei's #mei.atz

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episodicnostalgia · 7 months ago

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Reading Break: “Retiring” from comic book collecting

The Reading Break continues, mainly because work is still hindering my ability to write structured reviews with any regularity. It’s a bit of a bummer, because I genuinely enjoy writing them, and it’s made blogging fun for me, but doing so requires more mental energy than I can currently afford to spend. Sometimes you just gotta prioritize payin’ them bills, and staying alive. In the meantime, I don’t want to sacrifice writing altogether, because I value this platform as an outlet, and since it is MY flippin’ blog, I figure I’ll just relax the structure a bit and write about other shit; less episodic, and more nostalgic, I suppose.

So anyways. Comic Books.

More of my leisure time has been spent reading comics these days, and if you’ve been tuning into any of my most recent posts, then you already know that I’ve been on something of a Spider-man kick for a while, and that’s unlikely to change in the immediate future. Obviously, the fact that I’ve been reviewing the 90’s cartoon has fanned the flames of my current fixation, but it’s been a long time coming. Over the past few years I’ve been casually focused on completing my ideal Spidey-Comics-collection, and I’m very nearly finished.

Incidentally, that also means that I will also be, by-and-large, finished actively collecting comic books altogether.

Technically I kind of “stopped collecting” (heavy on the quotations there) shortly after DC’s ‘New 52’ reboot kicked off. It wasn’t that I particularly disliked the changes, but I found myself lacking the energy to maintain my interest. Since Marvel wasn't exactly doing anything more appealing (and the MCU was still scratching that itch), I just stopped altogether. To this day, I haven’t really felt that I’ve been missing out.

I’m still prone to casually glancing at subreddits, Wikipedia blogs, and the occasional review/pop-culture think piece, just to check in on all my old fictional friends, and see how they’re doing. Superman and Lois have a kid who grew up, and also became another Superman. Batman and Catwoman got married, and then unmarried, I think? I know it resulted a in a bunch of fans getting angry. I understand Miles Morales has been transported to the 616 universe (after his was destroyed), and I seem to recall that Wolverine was dead for a while. Maybe he still is?

I admittedly I did start reading the new Ultimate Spider-man, and intend to continue doing so, but I’ll drop it in a heartbeat if I get bored, meanwhile the other books in the new ‘Ultimate’ line don’t really appeal at all. I’m not trying be pretentious either; All the new stuff being published today looks like it’s probably reasonably entertaining, and there are some fantastic new artists working in the industry, but I’ve just mostly had my fill.

That said, there were a decent number of older issues that I’d always wanted to read when I was a kid, but never got to. So, shortly after I stopped buying any of the new books coming out (a little over a decade ago), I began removing the issues that I had no intention of re-reading, to make room for the various ‘missing’ issues I needed to complete my "essential" collection once and for all.

After all, is any reading list complete without Super-merman?

During my comic-hunt, there are two characters who I predominantly focused on: Superman (Merman or otherwise) & Spider-man (there are no Spider-mermen. Because that would be stupid.)

Two-or-three years ago, I successfully completed my collection of Superman comics ranging between late 1986 to early 1995. That’s the era that includes, among other things:

Lex faking his death, swapping his brain into an enhanced clone body, and returning with a full head of hair as his own super hot, Secret, Australian-raised son, aka Lex Luthor II. I’m not making any of that up, but it’s actually a great Lex Luthor arc, and I mean that unapologetically.

Lois getting engaged to Clark, and being trusted with his super-secret. (And also, hilariously, in that order.)

The artificial protoplasmic lifeform aka ‘Matrix-Supergirl’ from “the pocket dimension,” who easily ranks as my favourite iteration of the Supergirl property.

The evil Kryptonian AI aka “The Eradicator,” and of course…

The world-famous ‘Death of Superman’

As ridiculously 90’s as that all sounds (and was), it was a truly solid 8-year run that has (in my millennial opinion) never been matched for its combined quality, diverse-and-dynamic supporting cast (which no other set of writers have ever come close to utilizing as effectively), and tight continuity. Most importantly, by the beginning of ‘95, the story sort-of comes to a natural close that leaves our characters happy, with most of the major arcs and plotlines resolved.

That itself is nothing short of a small miracle for an ongoing comic book series to achieve, and so I’ve always privately considered that to be "the end" of MY definitive Superman story. That respective collection begins with ‘Man of Steel’ #1, spans across the four Superman books of-the-time (plus select mini-series, annuals, and crossovers), and ends with ‘Action Comics’ #706, some 350-odd issues later.

It's an impressive achievement in storytelling that seems to finally be getting more recognition (from what I’ve seen on various forums and subreddits), but I still don’t think it gets enough credit for allowing our beloved Kryptonian’s story to move forward for (arguably) the first time in the character’s then-50+ years of existence. Suffice to say, while it was no small feat tracking down each of the necessary back-issues, it was relatively simple process to figure out WHICH issues I needed to buy, since it was all part of one consecutive run.

Finishing my Spider-man Collection was a little trickier.

Technically, the Spider-man books have never broken their continuity (with some room for debate, but I don’t feel like getting into that), and as such, any truly complete collection of the 616* Spider-man would span several thousand issues, many of which I don't consider essential reading. So it’s been a longer, more meticulous process of figuring out which artists, writers, and story arcs I actually want to sink money into.

[*616 = The OG Marvel universe from the comics]

With a few exceptions (and where I’ve had to accept trade paperback collections as a vital alternative to spending at LEAST several tens-of-thousands of dollars), I’ve now collected nearly all of the main eras throughout Spidey’s career that interest me. I’ve very nearly completed the Roger Stern run, along with a healthy sampling of Tom Defalco’s work, leaving me roughly 10 issues away from my goal.

If you care to know, it comes to the equivalent of some 420+ issues from the various 616 Spidey books, between Amazing Fantasy #15, to The Amazing Spider-man #508.

Why stop there? Because much of what has come out beyond that point feels either like a departure from, or a retread of, the character I grew up with. I don’t begrudge anyone who enjoys the current Spidey books, but he seems to have been stuck in a holding pattern that TPTB have decided the writers aren't permitted to move beyond. I imagine that’s also why the new ‘Ultimate Spider-man’ has captured my interest, at least for the time being, by letting him grow up and raise a family. Still, I won’t be surprised if/when even that version of the character ends up getting caught in his own version of an editorially-mandated limbo.

In the end, that’s what it really boils down to, the lack of endings. I won’t pretend I’m making a new observation in this regard, since most ongoing series are tailor made to reset every few years, and that’s unlikely to change any time soon. Even so, knowing when to end a story is as important to me as the plot itself, and since the writers aren’t ever granted the power to offer definitive endings to major proprietary characters, I decided to pick one that I can be content with. I find doing so makes going back and re-reading these stories from the beginning more enjoyable, since I know it will eventually end on my terms.

Speaking of ending things, It’s probably time I wrapped up this post. It’s possible I might come back with more specific observations about the Spidey books, depending on how long my “reading break" continues. Or maybe by the time I’m back, I’ll be able to focus on the reviews again.

Guess we'll see.

Thanks for Reading.

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arcxnumvitae · 2 years ago

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I’ve tweaked and updated my rules. Here’s a tl:dr and also kind of a PSA that’s not really a tl:dr because it’s kind of long itself anyways.

I am doing a Spring cleaning of sorts with my muses and, uh, like everything. Graduation is coming up and after that is Bar prep. My free time will be extremely limited, so I’ve been ruminating on the ways in which I plan and don’t plan on spending it in regards to Tumblr rp.

— Like I said in my rules, previously anyways, I have no patience for trying to write with mutuals who won’t write with me.

I am no longer content with being placed on the back burner to wait while someone runs around interacting solely with the people who give them easy ships, only to be returned to whenever they feel like it— if even that. You can do what you want if that’s what you like but that doesn’t mean I’m required to sit here and put up with it.

I am also no longer going to be the sole person chasing after interactions for our muses or crumbs of attention from another mun. Roleplaying is a partnership and if I’m the only driving force in us darkening each other’s doorsteps then I’m also over it. And I mean genuine interactions between our muses, where they interact in some manner be it through asks, threads, or even ooc chatter. Not a like thrown my way to a post every now and then to simulate the idea of interest. As always, if interest is clearly one-sided then I’ll be softblocking.

I’m also also doing a Spring cleaning of ships/relationships too. Similar to the above point, if it has been some time since those ships have had interaction, discussion, any genuine development, or basically anything then I will be re-examining them and deciding what to do regarding the ship from there. I guess you can tie this in with my above point that I’m not going to be putting more energy into something than I’m receiving in return from a partner.

Lastly, I have never been fond of people blatantly shopping around for ships and that continues still 🤷🏾‍♀️. I can’t reiterate enough how much I dislike the trend of gunning solely for a muse that yours can smooch above whatever other platonic, familial, hateful, etc. dynamics we could have created. I hate putting in the thought and picking out a muse I think could create a genuinely interesting relationship with another muse just to have that interaction quickly, if not immediately, dumped once a mun realizes they may not get a ship out of it. Or, frustratingly, by the way that I write interactions I don’t grant them the instant shippy serotonin in they want. If a mun is blatantly shopping around for ships then…well I mean you just won’t get one from me.

And note: there’s a difference for me between shopping for ships and just going for a pairing that maybe could develop into a ship (like choosing an unclaimed muse with a compatible sexual orientation to your muse’s). I’m never against wanting to go into something and having a door opened for the possibility, my issue is when I’ve made attempts to write and someone only gains interest when they get a pairing with the possibility. At that point it’s giving “I only care about writing with you now because I think I can get a romance out of this”.

#{Psa #:outofcash #this is kind of the culmination of like the past year and probably longer #haha it's just I looked at the hell that will be 10 weeks of studying for that stupid test and went #'do I also want to be spending my time chasing after people and feeling annoyed knowing I'm probably going to be stressed tf out from irl #stuff too?'#and the answer was a resounding no

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abysspetaled · 1 year ago

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𝔞𝔟𝔶𝔰𝔰𝔭𝔢𝔱𝔞𝔩𝔢𝔡

independent, highly selective, 𝕞𝕦𝕥𝕦𝕒𝕝𝕤 𝕠𝕟𝕝𝕪 honkai: star rail 𝕝𝕦𝕠𝕔𝕙𝕒 𝕣𝕡 𝕓𝕝𝕠𝕘. nsfw themes present. iconless for now. mun & muse are 21+.

est 07/2023. sideblog to @aeviare. 𝕝𝕠𝕧𝕖𝕕 𝕓𝕪 𝕥𝕚𝕗𝕗! adoring @sixpetaled google doc under construction! rules under read more!

𝔭𝔩𝔢𝔞𝔰𝔢 𝔯𝔢𝔞𝔡 𝔯𝔲𝔩𝔢𝔰 𝔟𝔢𝔣𝔬𝔯𝔢 𝔦𝔫𝔱𝔢𝔯𝔞𝔠𝔱𝔦𝔫𝔤!

1. Basics

Hi! This blog is a sideblog to @aeviare! So all follows/follow backs will be from that blog.

My name is Tiff! 25+! My pronouns are she/her. I’ve been rping on Tumblr since 2012! I have a full time job && a small business, so my activity may be spotty at best. I come and go as I please because roleplaying to me is only a hobby!

Because we don't have the full story of Luocha, a lot of lore and things will be headcanon based. I will probably evolve as more comes out-- maybe.

2. Writing Specifics!

At this time I'll be focusing more on those within the H:SR and Genshin fandoms. Luocha is a new muse for me so I'm still figuring out his voice! Since this blog is still new, I'll be starting off iconless. As time progresses, I'll be making some icons, but I don't have the time or energy at the moment to do them. My writing lengths vary from short, to paras, to sometimes novellas. There's never a requirement to match my length.

Because Tumblr hates its userbase, I'll be writing strictly with Beta Editor and xKit Reworked's Trim Reblogs.

3. Etiquette!

Basic etiquette is expected for writing with me. Meaning, please don't godmod! I will never write your muse for you, I'd appreciate the same respect.

As for drama or callouts, please don't drag me into things that have nothing to do with me. Do not police me in who I can or cannot speak to. I'm an adult, I can make my own decisions. If there's an issue with a person and you're concerned for my wellbeing, please address it with me in DMs.

4. Shipping!

I am a multi-ship whore! Although, for Luocha, I prefer speaking OOC and plotting, as I am still figuring out his character. Please do not force ship me into anything.

My main ship with him at this moment is with Blade (is this based completely off of their team comp synergy? yes.. and also because Blade is daddified beta red Xiao and Luocha is Aether if he looked his age, I said what I said.) But I am very open to exploring different types of relationships with most of the H:SR characters.

Most of the NSFW on this blog will be of a sexual nature, but can also pertain to gore or violence. If you do not want to view those things, please blacklist "suggestive cw" and "nsfw cw".

#pinned post #⋙ 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕜𝕖𝕖𝕡𝕖𝕣 𝕚𝕤 𝕗𝕒𝕕𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕒𝕨𝕒𝕪 {ooc}#aha for now luo is gonna have some of aether's tags

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hummingbird-games · 2 years ago

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A Postmortem

Some thoughts below the cut! Or, all the things I’ve been holding in that can now be out in the open, a memoir by...oh. Right. As I was saying!

There’s an upbeat version of this posted to itch.io, but I figure we can be a slight bit more honest over here.

It’s hard to be creative when you’re so sad.

There’s a quote from one of my favorite rom-coms that I’ve read maybe a million times but resonated with me this year.

It’s such a nasty slap in the face to work on something that brings you joy and that you hope will bring joy to others and feel your brain actively work to take that away from you. And then all your leftover energy is sucked away by outside circumstances. The whole year was a struggle, and I think I cried so much that I contributed to my perpetual hydration lol.

It’s a blessing that the script for HSD:JY was complete and the game deep into production early this year because either there would have been no game OR the tone would have been so outside of my original goal. 2020, the year of conception, I remember being hopeful. And spiteful. And DAMN did I ever have a leading healthy emotion during the creation of this game???

I’d had my last rant session with friends and family about one of my previous obsessions, the mobile app Choices, which taught me love, patience, and pain. All in that order. The BLM protests were reaching a fever pitch, and the app had put out a statement that made me see red. My Black body, and my sister’s Black and queer body weren’t being seen, not being represented in the gaming space like I’d always believed they could, and I just couldn’t take it anymore. So I said fuck it, I’ll make the game I want to play. I’ll color it with my experiences, and I’ll focus on the demographic that is either degraded or infantilized.

2021 was colored by fear and spite, and then eventually I was excited again. My audience had started finding me and I realized I had eyes on me. But I was afraid that I was in over my head, afraid of asking for help and reaching out to people (I seem to have more bad luck than good when it comes to asking for help and it makes me second guess myself.) I had a loose timeline of what I wanted to accomplish, all while lurking on various discords, reading the ren’py documentation, and hopping on YouTube to teach me the things I needed to know.

Thinking back, there’s really nothing I would make myself do differently. I did the best I could with what I had. And there’s no way I could have predicted how 2022 would affect me or what would happen this year. So. Hence me always signing off my devlogs with “be kind/gentle with yourself” because I know what happens when you’re not.

Marketing is a bitch. But so am I. When I want to be.

I think I actively promoted my game like five times. I wasn’t looking to make a huge ground-breaking experience. I just wanted people who liked cute teen games with romance to find my game. But guess what??? That still requires marketing. 🤮

I’m so, so, so thankful to the other developers I met and the early supporters who spread my game when I either wouldn’t (stubborn) or couldn’t (brain go burrr) but it does not make up for actively promoting my game on a consistent basis. I get it. So. I need to either suck it up or like hire an honest to goodness marketing director or social media person or something. I will probably do neither of these things. 💩

That 2-star review will not kill you. Pinky promise.

Oooof, I see why authors don’t look at their reviews. But I need to know how to better myself!!! I do like seeing high ratings, but what makes my day is when people take the time to write out why they did or didn’t like something I created. To the person who wasn’t too happy that HSD:JY is told from a female perspective with she/her pronouns, I understand your frustration and I’m sorry my game wasn’t for you.

...for the fool who gave my game 2 stars but didn’t bother to explain their rating?? I’m taking it personal. So personal. I’ll hold my grudge forever 😂😂😂

Go where you want, not where you think you should be.

I think that just because a creative community gathers mostly in one place, doesn’t mean you should force yourself to spend time there. Yes, this is directed towards Twitter, but I also say this for Reddit and Discord, two other communities that I tried to find a rhythm with and ended up exhausting myself trying to participate in.

Hummingbird Games has a Twitter presence (barely) because I thought I had to be like the other indie game devs and make a home there. Instead, it’s become another place I talk about every other game except my own 😂 but with less characters! It feels a lot like I got a seat at the adult table, but I abandoned it to go draw with crayons on the back porch until it’s dinner time.

You’ve learned so much. Now learn some more.

I made music tracks that are in my game! I reached out to artists, a GUI and a character one and was anxious as hell but I did it. I went through three different text editors against my will and my hatred for sudden change, but I survived. Mostly. Canva and Photopea were my best friends! And they shall continue to be the tools I use until I die!

I would like to eventually code in accessibility options into HSD, both the full game and the bonus game, and of course have them moving forward. Also, while I never got around to doing it for this project, I’d like to incorporate character customization. It was a planned option (along with CGs, SOB!) that got cut due to lack of funds.

I also will make sure that I have some kind of beta testing moving forward. Yes, I did it for this project but looking back on it, with a few awesome people who gave me useable feedback, the overall process was such a trainwreck! I didn’t know what I was doing, and it bled into my confidence. I will do better next round.

You should stick with writing (affectionate)

I can’t draw. I cussed and cried every time programming was involved. Music was okay but I had more fun searching for tracks I liked and could use over creating my own stuff (which I did only because at the time nothing I came across fit my audio needs.)

But the drafting stage? And the writing and rewriting and the revelations I had? Super fun. 10/10, would recommend. If I can move into a direction where I can continue to delegate tasks to others and leave myself to focus on the writing and storytelling aspect, that would be the dream.

But. I am a solo dev. I still gotta put in the work 😭 So continue to look forward to posts of me crying and complaining about how much I suck and it sucks. I will sugar coat nothing.

If money doesn’t buy happiness, why does it make life so much easier????

There’s really nothing to elaborate on. Making a game is so expensive, oh my God, and while I hated the call center job I had, it helped fund 80% of this game, and that was more helpful that I realized.

But moving forward, I will seriously consider looking into grants. I’m not sold on crowd funding, and I’d rather not have to dip into my job paycheck so much to cover gaming expenses. I know other developers do this, and I did it too, but I don’t know how sustainable this would be for me. Plus there’s other things I wanna buy and it’s super unfair (to me) to have to choose between affording a programmer’s rates or additional poses for character sprites 🥺

You’ll need to recover

I know everyone is different and therefore it’s the only reason that explains why I made a game and I feel like death, and others have made a game or games and have already jumped into production for their next project.

...how does it feel to have endless energy? I wish I was like some of y’all but I really just want to sleep. Knowing this about myself now, I’ll need to factor in a ‘recovery period’ after each completed production cycle. I know a bunch of factors are involved in my slow down period, but whether it’s two months, or two years, I guess my body will let me know 😭

#High School Daze: Junior Year #postmortem #gamedev rambles #tw: mental health

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radioactive-earthshine · 1 year ago

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Hello I’m brave enough to offer insight (but not enough to show my face). As you guessed, it’s a combo of having nostalgia for DC animated properties and struggling get into comics.

The pre-ordering comics system confuses me. The comic shop near me only does pre-orders and it’s not for everything? I tried to order a new Flash thing and couldn’t because it wasn’t offered. And I don’t know why! The entire process seems expensive and requires me to be plugged into comics news. And I’m. Not. Which I could solve via 🏴‍☠️but I don’t have enough faith in my ad blocker for 🏴‍☠️. So most of my comics knowledge outside of comic adaptions (tv shows, radio plays, movies) comes from people posting panels on this website.

I don’t create content, but I like to draw and read what other people have to say about a Chara. I will read character essays literally forever. It brings me joy during my lunch break. I want to continue to play in the space. I have a 200+ comics read list, but I haven’t started because I feel Iike someone standing in the cereal aisle, just completely overwhelmed by choice. And also like the cereal is behind glass and I have to ask a grumpy attendant to get a box for me. And about half of the boxes have the gnarliest box art I’ve ever seen in my life.

This isn’t to invalidate how annoyed people can get at fanon spaces. I get it. Esp in comics where a lot of people’s first encounter the material through Ao3, which causes its own set of problems. But you asked for an explanation and this is what I’ve got. Comics are hard to get into, animation and fanon are easy to experience, easier to get for free, and will often point me towards the comic stuff *actually worth reading*. Go in peace.

As a P.S. there’s another problem where me as a child did try to get into comics around 2008, picked up a book with my favorite lady hero in it and uh. Quickly realized these books wrote to a demogaphic that was not me. At 13 it felt like the writers didn’t seem to care about this Chara as much as I did beyond being sexy. Which can maybe be taken with a grain of salt b/c y’know. I was 13.

Not all comics are like this! I know that! But in the back of my mind everytime I pick up a comic I’m expecting the worst. And while that can be fun - sifting through years of history to find gems of art or writing- personally I find it frustrating and would rather wait and have the comic events distilled for me via wiki, tv show, movie, or…fanon. Maybe I’ll use the DC app when I have more money.

Thank you for taking the time to write out such a well-thought out answer and it does offer some great insight as to why someone might be hesitant to start reading comics - and I get it.

There's nuance in all comic experiences and comics!

They're sexist, they're not, they're dated, but amazing progressive, they're hard to get into, actually not they're not fans have put together lovingly curated reading lists etc etc etc.

No two comic fans, or DC fans experiences are the same. What I DO appreciate though is that you take the time to stop and question/research first which is a hell of a lot better than some.

I hope someday soon you get the energy to read some of those comics because really, there is nothing better than reading them yourself to gain knowledge - no matter how much meta you read, no matter how concise the wiki, no matter how thorough your friends are reading them is the best way. Because then the canon is yours, its your world then to do what you will.

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galacticlamps · 2 years ago

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ooooh I'm VERY interested in hearing about second nature (I'm assuming this is the human nature au? if so I LOVE the title that's so clever)!! also 6th time's the charm and the 29th fic in your big document if you like o:

wip tag game!

(descriptions posts above the cut, excerpts below it)

second nature is indeed my human nature au - as in, literally a spin on those episodes (I haven’t read the book) & not just a chameleon arch humandoctor story, so the basic description of Two, Jamie, & Zoe being on the run from the Family of Blood and winding up hiding out at an early 20th century English boarding school with Professor John Smith is as you'd expect it to be. That’s probably about the extent of the plot similarities though, since it’s also a get-together fic primarily about the relationships between the 3 main characters.

I just realized "6th time's the charm" probably sounds like a satisfying conclusion to some adorable 5 + 1, but no, instead it's a reference to the fact that 5 other documents in that list are attempts at writing the same story, and that particular doc's version of it hasn't been touched in over a year now (whoops), but I’ll post a little piece of it anyway. It varies between being multi-chapter or a one-shot and between perspectives, but it’s basically a fic in which Two & Jamie have managed to go quite a long time without actually talking about their feelings, Jamie’s certain they should, the Doctor’s convinced they shouldn’t, and the eventual result is a kind of forced confession.

In the list, 29 is set in season 5, with the description “the doctor saves jamie with time lord regeneration energy. they aren't sure if they can leave because of it” - I actually really like this one, I just know I have some big parts of the plot to finalize before I could really work on it seriously

Second Nature:

Picking one piece of this was really hard but let’s go with this bit from what should be the second chapter, since that doesn’t really require context:

Zoe studied the Doctor's unconscious face thoughtfully. "Do you think I could pass for his daughter?"

"Hm? Oh, I don't know - I'm no good at that sort of thing. Your hair's similar?" he ventured.

"Thanks, Jamie,” she rolled her eyes.

"Yours is neater,” he added quickly.

"I should hope so, seeing as I have actually been known to brush it on occasion."

"But wouldn't a lie that big be kind of difficult? I mean, if you're his daughter that would mean he should remember your whole life growin’ up, and your mother and you bein’ born. The Doctor said he'd just go along with most things, makin’ up memories that make things make sense but . . . I don’t know, that's an awful lot to not really remember about a person, isn't it?"

"I suppose. And then, I'd be expected to know anything he can't recall, and to refer to all the right places and things he invents for himself in his past. . . You’re right, it’s probably not the best explanation for my being here."

"Probably not." Jamie wasn’t sure what would be, but he didn't think he could pull off pretending the Doctor was his father for three minutes let alone months, so he was especially invested in having Zoe come up with a different cover story for them both. She seemed stuck on it though.

"Perhaps I could be adopted, and recently? I can say I'm a little younger than I am, and if he's been a teacher, maybe I was one of his students, and I lost my family, and we got on really well so he took me in? How's that sound?"

"Och, I don't know,” Jamie shook his head, defeated. “It might work."

"I think I ought to say I'm an orphan either way,” Zoe continued, unfazed. “It’s close enough to the truth, I suppose, since I never really knew my family before going away to the institute, and it saves me having to invent existing relations." She sighed and kicked up her feet so they dangled over the edge of the front seat of the cart. Jamie put an arm out and pushed her back protectively even though he knew she was fine. "Oh, I would so like to say I'm here to teach at the school with him or something like that, but I don't think they'd let women teach boys here, at least not one my age."

from 6th time’s the charm:

“. . . and, anyway, Jamie’s anxious to get a look at some of their nicer resorts, aren’t you, Jamie?” They both turned to him then, and while Jamie could tell Zoe had read the room well enough to know that was more than half a lie, she still looked intrigued. It was the Doctor, however, that put the nail in the coffin on Jamie’s protests, staring at him so hopefully, like a child on Christmas morning. No matter how many trips they made – and no matter how disappointing any of them proved, he was always so determined to be excited about the next one. And Jamie could hardly blame him for that, what with it being one of those things that made his heart thrill and his cheeks blush and Zoe remind him wasn’t there something you said you’d discuss with the Doctor?

“Oh, aye, sure,” he agreed, rolling his eyes, but even the Doctor’s persistence had come to be endearing. It was one of the many things Jamie loved him for, he knew, and just because he hadn’t quite gotten up the nerve to ever tell the Doctor as much didn’t make it any less true.

29. Here’s a chunk of the first scene of actual dialogue I wrote for it, after making notes on the premise & context (sorry it’s so long & so light on both punctuation & narration, that’s how most of my wips start out, & bc of that I figured it'd make even less sense if I gave you a shorter piece):

Jamie! Good to see you up and about but maybe it'd be better if-- I feel fine And I'm very glad to hear that but still, a little precaution never-- I feel great Really? I know I feel much better than I've any right to Ah. Well you see, the ah, the medical assessment, initially, last night, may not-- You did something to me, didn't you? Saved my life? Jamie, I-- You did, I know you did. I didn't understand it when it was happening - still don't, really - but now I know you can do something-- Jamie, keep your voice down! Only I never saw you do anything like that before. So why is that? It's dangerous, isn't it, what ye did? That's why ye don't do it all the time? It's . . . complicated, Jamie-- Complicated? I've seen I don't know how many people die in front of us and never seen you even try to do a thing like that to save any of them before, and now you tell me you couldn't because it was complicated?? Complicated to explain precisely why it's dangerous, Jamie, please. Sit - if, if you can comfortably, that is. Oh. Aye, of course I can. I don’t know if I’ve ever felt better in my life. the Doctor only nodded evasively at the ground as Jamie sat on the edge of the sofa opposite him & leaned forward conspiratorially, his elbows on his knees Alright, it's complicated to explain - but start with this - is it dangerous to me or dangerous to you? To both of us. And to Victoria. Victoria? And to Ben, and Polly, and for that matter to Kirsty and Colin McLaren and to a hundred other people you haven't-- How in the world can it be a danger to all those-- It's very hard to explain, Jamie. In fact, part of the explanation could add to the danger too. Jame sat back. He’d been with the Doctor long enough to know there were plenty of things he didn’t tell him, but some were things he knew he wished he could, information he didn’t feel safe sharing however much he'd like to. There were a very few topics it all tended to connect back to, and given the situation, it didn’t take long for him to guess which one it was this time. It's to do with your own people, then. the Doctor shrugged helplessly, as if convincing himself he wasn't saying anything that wasn't already obvious. Well, it would have to be, wouldn't it? he suggested in a thin voice, almost wincing away from his own words. Jamie's heart ached at seeing how pained such a small admission made him, but his pulse quickened too, and there were some facts he needed to know before he could leave it be. And for whatever reason I'm guessin you're not supposed to do what you did to me last night? the Doctor nodded jerkily, not meeting Jamie's eyes. You might put it that way, yes. And it - he couldn't help but glance incredulously down at his own hand laying unassuming, palm-up in his lap; even he wouldn't know, just to look at it, that the Doctor had squeezed it so tightly in both of his own last night until all three had glowed a blinding gold - except, of course, for the fact that it didn't belong to a dead man this morning. but there were people more perceptive than he in the wide universe - it leaves traces? Yes, it does And if those traces are used to find us... he knew when and when not to bother with details. We should leave he stood up abruptly. The Doctor rose too catching him by the elbow They have time travel too, Jamie. That wouldn't make it better How not? If they've noticed the trace - and they might not, but if they have - then watching it move through time and space irregularly would be the final confirmation on what had happened That you used your... abilities to save me? Or a - one of my people - to save a human, yes Aye, and? And that would not be taken lightly by anyone Alright, and the alternative? Well, if we stay put for a while, the Doctor explained slowly, releasing the hold on his arm at last, behave in a spatially and temporally standard way, then, possibly it'll be given up on as a blip on the radar. A mistake. Somehow Jamie was quiet a long time How long will it take the trace to wear off? I've no idea Doctor? Well, I've never done that before! So why do it now? Because the risk was too-- How? How was this risk worth it when you've just said all the things it endangers? God, Doctor am I even gonna be able to-- he blanched, suddenly, and the doctor knew his thoughts before he spoke them Am I gonna be able to come with you when you leave here?

#wip stuff #again so sorry that last one's so long #thank you for the ask!

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secretlywritingstories · 2 years ago

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I don’t sit before a blank page and a blinking cursor often. It’s one of the things I pride myself on, but sometimes I feel hollowed out and it almost happens.

It happens.

When I pause.

To think? No.

To power through.

I don’t think when writing, or rather, it doesn’t feel like that. It’s just like I open something within me and what comes out makes sense. It’s something tangible, something that just goes. And most of the time it makes sense. If I stop and wonder if it does make sense well...

Blinking cursor happens.

Like now, again.

But I can push onward. I’ve got too much practice to be intimidated by a blank page. I’ve always got so much going on within me that there is something to spill out onto the page when I crack myself open. The question is rather if I always should do that. But at the same time, writing is incredible cathartic and it’s one of the only times that it feels like I’m in complete control.

It seems as if the world pauses around me. Nothing else exists but my fingers on the keyboard and the words appearing on screen. I’m almost not me. I can sit in the same position for a long time and only realise too late that I’m straining something when the body pulls out the louder alarms.

Move. You need to move.

It always startles me a little when I get an internal alert like that. Because I am moving. My fingers are moving quite a lot, thank you, flying across keys but my mind is also soaring. Somewhere up in some clouds and existing in a way that’s removed but present all at the same time. But I am not just a mind, I am a body too and it will tell me if it feels neglected.

It’s probably a rather good thing, I reckon. It can feel like time is defied, needs don’t exist and as if everything is good. In the flow of writing, nothing else can exist, as it commands full focus.

I almost wrote requires full focus but changed my mind because can it really be a requirement when it’s just a natural by product of getting into the his headspace. I don’t meditate but I’d figure it has some of the same effects of making everything else fade into the background.

It’s always been the same, whether I was journalling about personal stuff, writing characters in fictional words or even academic writing. If I am in it, it’s all there exists and therefore the only way that I exist.

Until I blink out of it, or the energy runs out. I’ll come back to my body then. Exist as a human and not just a mind bleeding out onto the page. Maybe the rare times where I stare at a cursor, I am all out of blood. It often helps to take a step back, a break and recharge. Then I can come back and do it all again.

Whether I can hit writing flow or not is almost always based on my head. The circumstances don’t matter much. Sure, I’d prefer to have my own laptop, in my room, with no pressing deadline on the other side but it’s not strictly necessary. Any way to get words down, no matter how short, or how busy an era, I can get into it.

Is it harder?

Abso-fucking-lutely.

But impossible. No. Not at all.

Nothing feels quite impossible for someone who can create words, stories, knowledge, impact from just their mind and capture it to share. Share with others, or share with a future self. Both are very important audiences.

There’s a reason why I call posts like these spilled thoughts. That’s what they are. If there’s a point, a rhyme or reason then that’s great but most of the time it’s just a writing exercise. Sitting with a concept, an idea, a feeling in my chest and deciding to see what my brain will do with it.

That’s half the fun of writing.

Putting “pen to paper” and watching.

Almost like from afar.

As your mind soars.

#writing #writing is hard #writing about writing #spilled thoughts #my tumblr dabbles #blood mention

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pixelplanetig · 7 days ago

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☄️ v, rutek!!

🌓 v of course

✨ matt, tanya

🌗 arin

☄️ (short POV about their average day)- V:

Ok, I’m gonna be so fr right now, but I don’t have the energy to write in character for this atm, so I’ll just describe their typical days and their feelings on the events!

V typically wakes up around 0700 hours, after which she pops over to Rutek’s room to make sure they actually get out of bed. However, she does tend to pull all-nighters often, so sometimes she’ll be trying to wrap things up in her lab before she heads up to check on Rutek. She’ll typically have a quick shower, and maybe a cup of tea before heading out to go to the Andromeda’s bridge! Before she heads to the bridge, she stops and picks up Rutek (at least if they are still in their own room, she does, but both of them tend to hang out in each other’s rooms so sometimes she won’t have to go next-door to pick them up!) Although she could very well save time by teleporting to the bridge, she always opts to take the turbolift with Rutek since they like spending time together and having a chat! Sometimes they’re joined by other members of the crew also heading up to the bridge. At 0800 hours, the senior staff hold their daily staff meeting to just brief each other on their latest news and updates in regards to each of their respective jobs and tasks! V usually gives a small update on the various projects that the science teams are working on. She also eats a small breakfast at the staff meeting, as Krish’na typically cooks food to bring to their morning meetings. She’s not a picky eater, so she doesn’t really mind what they have to eat, as long as it fits her dietary requirements! After the meeting is let out, she will typically make her rounds of the ship, checking in with all of the individual science departments and discussing what they are working on and how it’s going! She likes having these little check-ins so she can make sure everything is going smoothly. If nobody requires her attention or assistance, she’ll then head down to her lab/office and do whatever work she has to get done (usually filling out lab reports and paperwork and shit.) Many people tell her that they find that stuff boring, and while she knows it’s not the most thrilling thing in the world, she loves to do it! She loves her job, even the parts that aren’t actively running experiments or going on away missions. It’s what she’s wanted to do since she was a very little kid. Speaking of away missions, if the crew gets sent on one, she is usually required to go, since she is the Andromeda’s second officer, and second officers are usually required to be present on away missions. She typically likes going on away missions, but if she has to stop her work to go on one, she can get a little annoyed. If she ever has to be on the bridge during the day, like using the bridge science stations for instance, she will try and have a little chat with Rutek! They don’t get to actively spend a lot of time with each other while they are on duty because while V works all over the ship, Rutek has to stay on the bridge since they’re the helmsman. These chats are usually only telepathic, but they will talk about just about anything! (Even gossip! Vulcan spice tea is not the only type of tea that they like, lol.) If any of her friends notice that V has been holed up in her lab all day, one of them, (usually Diaz,) will come harass her to go take a break or eat something. This usually doesn’t work, but sometimes it does! When she gets off-duty and she isn’t pulling an all-nighter and fueling her workaholic tendencies, she usually teleports herself back to her quarters! She typically opts to just stay in her quarters for a while, but if she’s in the mood (or it’s been previously scheduled,) she’ll engage in some form of recreation! Her favorite thing to do is go swimming in the pool, since she loves to swim, but she does also have some prescheduled events with her friends that she does! She attends a book club with Marianne and Arin, she spars with Diaz in the holodeck, and every week, the entire senior staff meets for game night on one night! She sometimes finds herself looking for excuses to back out of game night, as sometimes the social interaction can get quite overwhelming.

However, her friends are really chill and if they notice her getting overstimulated or overwhelmed, will make sure to give her space and let her fuck off to go recharge or something! In the evenings, she likes to spend time with Rutek. They don’t even have to be doing anything in particular together, they just like to hang out in the same room. Sometimes they’ll grab dinner together or sometimes they’ll just vibe. V will also use the evening time to go out on the whole of the ship and stargaze! that’s one of her favorite things to do, since her father used to take her out in space all the time when she was a little kid, but she stopped being able to do that after he died, but now that she works in space she can go out there again! She’ll eventually start getting ready for bed, at which point she’ll meditate as is customary for Vulcans. She likes to do this alone. Even if she plans on sleeping over in somebody else’s quarters, she’ll go to her own to meditate first. When she meditates, she burns the same incense that her mother used to use! She doesn’t even particularly like the scent itself, but it reminds her of her mom and her home, since her mother always smelled like it! Then she’ll finally get in the bed! Sometimes she chooses to watch her old holo-videos of her parents and her as a child before she goes to sleep, sometimes she just goes right to sleep.

Overall, this isn’t a strict routine of what happens every day, since you can never be sure how a day is going to go when you work on a starship like the Andromeda! This is just one idea of how a typical day for her can go.

☄️ (short POV about their average day)- Rutek:

Some glimpses at Rutek’s day can be seen in the description of V’s, but since they’re not together all day, I’ll yap about their day too! As previously stated, Rutek is typically woken up in the morning by V! They’ll Drag themselves out of bed and start getting ready, and if they have time, they’ll have a look over of all of their plants to make sure there aren’t any glaring issues that need to be taken care of when they come back to their quarters later. They typically take a little bit longer than V to get ready, since they have to do things the normal way instead of teleporting everywhere and using Q abilities to get things done, but they appreciate the fact that she always wakes up for them! Then the pair head to the bridge together! After attending the daily senior staff meeting, they relieve the night shift helmsman of duty and take their post at the helm of the ship! Their duties are not anywhere as riveting as V’s, but they do you get the benefit of getting to hang out on the bridge all day so they get to spend their time chatting with all the other bridge officers! They like their job a lot! They aren’t quite as passionate about it as V is about hers, but they still find it quite enjoyable! Sometimes, they will have to pay visits to other parts of the ships to check on things that might affect the ship’s flight at all. For the most part, their job is a rather mundane one, but their favorite days are whenever the ship needs some fancy flying done! If the ship is ever in need of a quick getaway or in a situation where they have to dodge things, Rutek is an EXCELLENT pilot! They also enjoy the days when a shuttlecraft is needed for an away mission, as that means they get to go on a mission and leave the ship, which they don’t often get to do! They know they couldn’t handle all of that excitement on the regular themselves, but it is nice to get a change in scenery every once in a while! They will typically have a break sometime in the afternoon, during which they like to head down to check out whatever V is up to! They hang out with each other for a bit, which usually consists of V working on some thing in her lab while Rutek loiters around in the background (and scopes out any glassware they can repurpose for their plants because they love to steal V’s stuff,) but then eventually they have to dip and go back on duty. When they get off for the evening, it’s time to take care of their plants! They have a very meticulous routine on taking care of all of their plants, making sure that each one is thriving! They find this time extremely relaxing. They also will sometimes pop back up to the bridge to take care of the plants in Elroy’s ready room since he doesn’t bother to do that himself. After they finished tending to their plants, Rutek will journal! They have kept a journal ever since they were young! They put just about anything in their journal. Some days they use it like a diary, other days they use it to log any interesting plant facts, and sometimes they even do a little creative writing. They even draw in it! They wouldn’t consider themselves an artist, but they will make the occasional observational sketch if they’re in the mood! They will then make themselves some dinner before either hanging out with V or heading out to see what the others are doing! They enjoy spending time with their friends, but they are also pretty spontaneous and don’t plan ahead, so they will just kind of show up at peoples doors and be like hey wanna hang out? A lot of times, people do want to hang out, as Rutek is very endeared to everybody, but sometimes everyone will be busy so they just go and chill in the ship’s arboretum, which is their favorite spot on board.

Whenever it gets time for them to start heading to bed, they will typically hop in the shower for a little bit before they get out and do their nightly meditation! They have a little rocky water fountain that they run while they meditate as they like the sound of the running water. It’s not quite the same as the sound of the ocean waves they have back home on Vulcan, but they like the little trickle that the fountain makes too! After that, they might opt to do a little bit more journaling before bed, or they might just go right to sleep!

🌓 (what her funeral would be like)- V:

She’s thought about it a lot, especially after actually dying once. V wants to be buried next to her parents back on Vulcan when she dies. Her tombstone would be the same type as her parents have, a black stone slab, engraved with her name in gold Vulcan lettering. She would want to be buried in a photon torpedo casing, even if she didn’t die on duty. She just thinks she would really like that. Although typically when an officer dies in space and a photon torpedo casing is used as a coffin for them, they sometimes actually get shot into space, but V wouldn’t like that, since as previously mentioned, she wants more than anything to be buried next to her parents. She also hopes that Rutek will be buried next to her eventually. She doesn’t want anybody to get emotional over her death. The idea of that happening kind of embarrasses her. (She doesn’t want to be perceived.) She knows it would happen anyway if she ended up dying before the other crew members, because that’s just a sacrifice you have to make when you make friends with such emotional beings as humans. Oh well. At least she’ll have her parents to complain to about it. (Although don’t tell her that. She’s not sure if her seeing her parents after she died was real or not.)

✨ (What makes their heart race)- Matt:

Matt loves a good thrill! The excitement of fighting to defend his ship. The suspense of who will win a good game of chess or how the superheroes he reads about will end up saving the day. He lives for stuff like that!

✨ (What makes their heart race)- Tanya:

Companionship makes Tanya’s heart race! She didn’t have many friends her own age growing up, so now she thrives on being part of a friend group! She loves it when people come to her for help or advice, as it makes her feel appreciated.

🌗 (How much they care about their appearance)- Arin:

Arin definitely doesn’t obsess over his appearance, but he does like to keep himself well groomed and relatively put together! Although his hairstyle is pretty simple, just a bun with an undercut and shaved sides, he always makes time to brush and style his hair in the mornings, and has regular haircuts! As for the clothes he wears, he doesn’t have to worry about that for the most part since he is normally in uniform, but he dresses pretty well when wearing civilian clothes! His favorite types of outfits are short sleeved floral patterned button up shirts worn over a plain T-shirt and some skinny jeans. He will accessorize with little bits of jewelry here and there if he really feels like it, but he doesn’t care that much. The one thing he does really care about is that weather permitting, he always tries to dress in a way where people can see his tattoo! His tat is very important to him since he got it to match with his twin sister Olivia before he left earth for his first Starfleet assignment. He got a half-sleeve of ocean waves on his right forearm to represent Olivia, who works as a marine biologist on earth, and Olivia got a half sleeve of galaxy and planets on her left forearm to represent Arin working in space! Even the specific arms that their respective tattoos are on represent each other, as the pair have mirrored moles, with Arin having a mole on his right cheek (hence Olivia getting a tattoo on her right arm,) and Olivia having a mole on her left cheek (hence Arin getting his tattoo on his left arm.)

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