#I don’t even like wine that much
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had a great sandwich today so at least there’s that
#it had mushrooms in and was covered in cheese#it was so yummy#and then I had a scone with jam and cream#and then I had an almond cake#and then I had a lemon cake#and maybe 6 glasses of prosecoo#I don’t even like wine that much#now I’m sleepy and turned off f1 by accident so whatever’s going on idk
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phinktober day 11: ur fav AU
i dont rlly do AUs so i just drew them how i wish they would dress xo
(dan’s tats r carnations and snowdrops and phil’s r roses and honeysuckle. for no reason 🤗)
ALSO bonus version w makeup bc i couldn’t pick <3
#soz copied caption from twt i have been drawing for 7 hours straight i need to drink water eat something take a piss and a shower and sleep#no braincell rn#goodbye it is wine time#hope yall like this idfk what people what these days other than ship art but im not doing that so sorry no knights fucking for you#just me making them look like me bc i’m a narcissist etc#god i am way too tired to be yapping rn i have no filter whatever ABYWAY HASHTAG DANIPHIW#art2 and craft2#dnp#phanart#dan and phil#daniel howell#amazingphil#dan howell#phil lester#phinktober#punk edits irl come back to me please#i’m missing a fkn hashtag i just know it whatever i don’t CARE im TIRED i have eaten nothing but half a jar of picked today i feel so goblin#idk why i tunnelvisioned w this piece it’s not even that good or detailed LMFAO#actually the tattoos were a BITCH and also made me sad bc of my whole failed tattooing career etc#OH MY GOD WHY AM I YAPPING SO MUCH SOMEONE EUTHANISE ME#good NIGHT !!!!!!#pickles not picked btw but i’m not retyping all of that#now i’m sad bc i’m out of pickles and it’s 10pm and everything is shut:( hate my stupid gay life
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What's your favorite snack? Mine is cookie dough bites and my rats love bananas. Also I cleaned my room. Can I have dessert now? -🐭
Fine, yeah, whatever.
#asks#anon#🐭 anon#chilchuck#chilchuck tims#chilchuck dungeon meshi#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#chat pretends chilchuck is their dad#ooc: you think he’d be a big snacker? i don’t actually know if he would be#even after retiring from dungeneering i think he’d be too busy to snack much#i mean he’s got the union to head#a storefront he wants to run#he’s trying to spend more time with his kids and fix things with his wife#he’s got a full plate already#maybe something sweet or salty here and there but i don’t think he’d have a preference tbh#but i’m just some guy on the internet what do i know lol#unless you count beer then the answer is beer#or wine#he really likes beer and wine
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Wine Under the Bridge is a metaphor for queerness, in this essay I will
#shoot from the hip#wine under the bridge#I have SO MANY THOUGHTS#but can’t say them right now#I should be doing Things :(#Even though I don’t want to#Anyway#troll father being like “ur not my son! exile!” Just because his son was different#And being like “you have to be strong not little and floppy” like.#And yeah I know it’s improv yeah I know it’s probably accidental but I like reading too much into things#And making up my little headcanons#Anyway this was like all I could think about today I couldn’t get it out of my head :))#sfth headcanons
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I’m not even exaggerating when I say I’m biting a pillow to stop myself from screaming because I’m wine drunk and I’m both overflowing with love for black sails and also so upset it’s so underrated :((
#bs#the silverspot#black sails#I’m insane I’m aware#this always happens when I drink too much wine I should have known#like always I’m so predictable#I just sent a friend almost half an hour of audio messages on black sails and the terror#what is even wrong with me (don’t answer that I’m well aware)#WHY ISNT THERE MORE BLACK SAILS YOUTUBE CONTENT IM CRYING
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wasn’t gonna drink tonight but started thinking about helaena targaryen #yousldeservebetterbabygirl
#i’m actually wine drunk and thinking about helaena and how she deserved so much better#like never before have i so viscerally wanted to give a fictional character a hug#i don’t even like house of the dragon it’s too sad i just love helaena#and rhaenyra and jace and kinda daemon too#but this post is about helaena#like i wanna havw a slumber party with her and do facemasks and show her that someone cares about her#house of the dragon#hotd#helaena targaryen#helaena the dreamer
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i’m still kinda working on it but getting over my antisocial habits is literally improving my life so fucking much
#like. i got an invite from this girl who was on the spain trip with me#she texted me like ‘hey i’m having a wine night if you wanna come over’ and i knew she lived just a few blocks away from me#but in the past i would’ve been too nervous like uohhh idk if i’ll know anyone thereee i don’t wanna be weird i don’t wanna be an outsider#+ idkkk + im not entirely in the mood to drink even if i’m not /not/ in a drinking mood#+ wehhh a billion other excuses#BUT I DIDNT DO THAT#i was like oh is it cool if one of my housemates comes with? yes? wicked i’ll see you in a few#and then we just walked over and joined the party!!#AMD WE HAD SO MUCH FUN we had lots of good drinks and met a bunch of cool people and i flirted with all the girls#and one dude kept challenging me to a face-off in which we’d see who had a harder look and could avoid breaking#and i kept winning bc i’m the hardest motherfucker around#and it was just so much fun!!!! i think one dude there wanted me badly bc he kept hanging around me and talking to me but he was#good conversation so i didn’t mind. and i’m a narcissist so the attention was just stroking my ego even if i don’t like him back at all#overall. yeah. i’m glad i just said yup i’ll be there thanks! it was so much fun. so much fun.
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the flashbacks are relentless
#don’t reblog👎#keep getting random flashbacks about my dad should I kill myself or should I kill my self#everything is so hazy. but it’s like I can feel him way too close to me!!!!!!!#I am wine drunk and so sad and I’m becoming an alcoholic#everything is tooooo much#I was THIRTEEN the last time he assaulted me#I can’t believe I blocked it all out even at that age.#I get why now when he found my journal that I left at his house he freaked out on me and raged at me saying I’m evil and narcissistic#for hating him so much#I wish he would die already#none of this is fair and he just gets to keep living his life#and the whole family thinks IM the crazy one#i wish I could take him to court and ruin his life forever#🍎diary
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crying weeping. this book was phenomenal. 100/10 magnificent and soooooo intense and vast and searingly intimate and heartbreaking and swoops of joy and I just. Katherine x Zera 5ever I love them so much
(possible spoilers in the tags even though I redacted the most spoilery bits)
once I’m a bit more coherent I plan to write an actual legible review (a glowing one, of course!) but I had to scream about all my feelings for this book here 😭❤️
#personal#a swift and sudden exit#definitely one of the best books I’ve read this year and probably even broader than that#it is so utterly unique and unlike anything else I’ve ever read and is so incredible and I just#it was so gotdamn INTENSE at times and the whole last bit was a TIME but oh my god#they got their soft epilogue 😭😭 that they deserved 😭😭 they’re good people and they’ve suffered enough 😭😭#my heart went on such a wild ride with this one#to have a love that literally spans the decades.. ‘with you I remember everything’… ‘I’ve waited a hundred years for you to say that’…#I can’t 😭❤️❣️#they loved each other and gave each other a renewed desire not just to exist but to LIVE that they literally saved the world 😭😭#nico this was brilliant and spectacular and beautiful and magnificent and I’m so glad you wrote this book#it’s lovely and I am a changed woman after reading it. my heart. I’m so emotional and in awe of the journey they went on#my god. 10/10#this book was just. I don’t even know it was wonderful#and like you know me poster child of emetophobia!! if I can get past the mentions in this book and still be raving about the book. that spe#ks to how incredibly GOOD this book is. and it is. it’s so good. so good ♡#sci fi sapphic bis is such a fantastic genre and I’m so glad this book exists in it#also I’m not over posh (derogatory) to posh (in love) and formal (lying) to formal (trembling with the intensity of their love) ough#Katherine x Zera 5ever x2059953920019493929201#and the SILVER IN [redacted] IN THE FINAL CHAPTER IM WEEPING I LOVE THAT SO MUCH#as we all know I cannot relate to immortality idolization whatsoever and when [redacted] and she was JOYOUS about it#which was made all the more beautiful and poignant by her journey to GET THERE#I JUST. OUGH😭🥹#so beautiful#and to have all of this grandiosity high stakes end of the world post apocalyptic life and death. and to have it end on a picnic in [redact#d] with wine and a sunset. I just. I just. it’s so perfect and so right and I just.#i love this book so much#also jenifer prince your beautiful beautiful art is so perfect I adore the illustrations the cover and the Polaroids & bookmark 10/10 so lo#ely#and all plot important beats too 😭❤️
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I continue to have SO many Thinkings abt Gallagher Star Rail, but putting the sin aside, I unfortunately now have High Expectations of what Varka is gonna look like
#☆ ┆ ( .ooc. );#//Its ok Genshin#//You can give more playable men facial hair and wrinkles#//You can make them beefy too#//I promise you; people; myself included will Eat That Shit Up#//But also thank you and godbless for what you did to Gallagher’s shirt and overall look; MUCH THANK#//This isn’t even a Star Rail blog; lmao#//Genshin men need more wrinkles and scrufff#//They missed out with Wrios#//And the fact that Ayato’s are only MENTIONED in passing is a crime#//Gallagher’s are like. the minimum; BUT STILL#//I need these men aged like fine wine#//I need Varka to have Wrinkles. I need a Beard. and I want Scars#//I need this man to LOOK like he’s seen battle and WON. if he has the goofiest smile and laugh; I will died happy#//Wait; fuck#//Sigh#//I just want him to be Genshin Impact!Reinhardt; don’t I—#//I cannot escape him
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i want to spend my night drinking wine under a lil blanket w my lover that is all bitch
#i don’t even like wine but that is all i want#i want to watch movies and cuddle i cried 2 much today
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I actually had the worst day I’ve had in awhile now but i survived it
#barely#im learning to lean on the people that care about me#i even cried on my mom tonight and i hate crying in front of people 😭😭#and it’s always been hard for me in general to talk to my mom especially but I’m learning to trust her and grow from our past#all that cheese and mushy shiz yeah yeah#work was insane tn and i was not prepared at all#i almost had a meltdown too but i kept it together and that’s when I called my co worker and she saved my ass#and my other coworker was trying to help me too that was off and was literally gonna leave her house to help me 🥺🥺🥺#it was just so bad fr#and my hours switching has been a twist for me too which happened to be a factor of today#but I made shit work but it still also was a mess at the same time lmao#it was a crazy ass day and I’m just glad it’s over now#a lot of good things happened today but the bad was bad#im just glad I didn’t hold in my feelings and was also not too prideful to ask for help#im drinkin my wine and hittin my pen bc fuck the cold I’ll just be a vape god for now#that was kinda cringe but I’m drunk so don’t take me seriously besides the parts of this that are my feelings 🤣#also got a card from one of my coworkers and my boss with a Starbucks gift card 🫶🏼 I was so surprised#that mfer wrote ‘crazy lady’ on the envelope 🙃🙃🤣🤣#funniest guy I know right there lmao#we have too much fun and he only works like once a week bc he’s like 40 or 50 something with a million different jobs bc he’s the crazy one#today was a roller coaster basically 🤣🤣 but i did the shit and somehow managed to keep shit together#im just ready for the holidays to be over so work can not be super busy anymore#but i am excited for the holidays it’s gonna be amazing i think 🫶🏼 not gonna be hung up on fake love this time and will be able to enjoy it#fully#for the first time in too long#last Christmas was so bad it makes me sick thinking about it#fuck that guy so much#just realizing this was amazing wow#so hype to have a clear and free mind this holiday without our ‘relationship’ looming over me#proud of me for multiple things rn 🥹
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Is it a bad omen that I don’t know what genre I write?
FOAD is a dark romance I can see that much. ETNB is a fantasy. Htkag began as fantasy but turned into more lit fic than anything else. I hesitate calling my work even that because my work isn’t pretentious. I don’t know, it just seems like there should be more genre overlap than this right? The only connections I can spot between them are how all plots have a dramatic tone and are focused on character relationships and otherwise internal plots. Maybe I’m overthinking it, but is this a bad sign? Maybe I’m too young and I just haven’t written enough yet, I don’t know
#kaitlyn talks for once#I know what I’m not. sci-fi or horror. i know that much#sorry not to be all depressed on main but#so far being young has brought me nothing but growing pains. aren’t I supposed to be having the time of my life? i don’t k ow#I’m sick of feeling my age. I’m sick of feeling like every way I write or even approach my stories is bad.#I’m tired and sick of the doubt#I wish I could feel sure enough of myself to be confident in my abilities#being young is great but feeling young is a plague#skills improve like fine wine with time and effort blah blah blah I know#i don’t know#I’m sure it’s just my emotions soeaking and I’m just overthinking#i hope someone like me feels the same way I do. I genuinely mean that this time. I usually hate when people say that becaue it solves#nothing but this time I think it might actually comfort me
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after basking in the glow of my pettiness - writing on the mirror ‘would an adult leave their nail clippings on the shared vanity’ 4 my brother - karma got me, bc i accidentally knocked a fucking cactus onto my bed
#stream#i’m#u know what i was fucking right i don’t care#i knocked it at 1.06a & it is now 1.43a literally im using a folded towel as a pillow ALSKALSKALSKLAKSLA like#now i’ve got to do SO much laundry & fucking vacuum i’m going to end it all#BUT OH MY GOD ???? MY BROTHER IS FUCKING RIDICULOUS UR ALMOST 24 HOW DID U NOT FUCKING CLEAN UP UR NAIL CLIPPINGS#JESUS FUCKING CHRIST ????? WHAT IS WRONG W U !!! HE CANT EVEN FUCKING CHANGE THE TOILET PAPER ROLL WHEN HE FINISHES IT OH MY GOD !!!!!!!#like ‘why doesn’t he have a girlfriend’ mum look at this#U LOOK AT THIS#this is what u got#bc i’m going to kill myself#i want to smoke soooooooo bad but it’s ok bc i’ve chugged a glass of wine & then remembered i can get high & now i’m chillin#1.47a & livin the dream#if i start looking at myself & my surroundings i will have a breakdown#like omg at the fucking meeting on friday we had coworkers that graduated come back for what reason idk it was nice to see them but they’re#like ‘if u want. a gap year or 2 before grad school go ahead like u should do that’ & im like mama …#i’ve been in school for like 6.5-7 years …. like + minimester + summer courses 😭😭 like break ?#if i took a break i literally would not go back to school#like ALSKALKSLAKSLAKALA#& i need to fucking apply to grad schools still FOR THIS FUCKING FALL#like y’all ….#i’m going to KERMIT#like i-#i’m also just toyin in my head like#y’all what if i just fucking go to japan#like#it’s so unhinged like do u speak japanese ? no i fuckign do not but i DO know that u can get languages courses (intensive) for good prices#so i know i could learn japanese#like bro#why not
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*rattling the bars of my cage and screaming*
I WANT TO TAKE CARE OF MY HEALTH I JUST DONT KNOW HOW TO ASK FOR HELP IN A WAY THAT WILL LET ME BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY
#blue chatter#I know I need to talk to a doctor abt the pain issues#I know this#my concern is that the focus of my past few visits has been purely about my BMI#which is not helpful.#even if that is relevant to the current concerns. massively altering my weight would me a work intensive long term goal/pipe dream#sure. me weighing less could reduce my joint pain. it’s a possibility. I cannot snap my fingers and lose 20 pounds.#sure. my weight could affect my heart rate and my ability to exercise.#you could even argue that I’m pretty sedentary and could stand to exercise more#I still cannot snap my fingers and lose 20 pounds.#my heart rate is still really high *now*. it is hard to exercise without feeling like I can’t catch my breath *now*.#sure. my breasts are not entirely fibrous tissue. if I lost weight they would probably be smaller. reducing my back pain.#I *still* cannot snap my fingers and lose 20 pounds.#but somehow every conversation in the doctor’s office comes back to my weight#especially if *gasp* it’s gone up in the past year#yeah. I’m aware. it’s not something I can super control.#the fact remains that I do not have the spoons to spend on the diet and exercise plans I know I will get recommended#and I know I will get recommended them because my parents go to this doctor and my dad went through an intense weight loss program#which. by the way. despite him heavily restricting his diet and exercising to run a 5k. did not lead to long term weight loss.#and he did not end up sticking with it long term bc it made him actively miserable and he enjoys things like food with fat in it and wine#but I also know that I should not be ignoring all these red flags.#I’m also worried that if I bring up heart issues again then they’ll take me off my ADHD meds#which would be fair as a first trial to see if it helps reduce symptoms#but also. I don’t get shit done without my meds. I wasn’t consistently medicated in high school or freshman year of college#and I was so exhausted all the time just doing the bare minimum#it felt like running headfirst into a brick wall constantly. and I don’t want that for myself.#also in the periods I went off of my meds myself for a week to try and lower my heart rate it did very little#bc believe me. I would love to be able to donate plasma. but I can’t bc I’m over 100BPM at rest.#I would make so much money if I could sell my blood water but I Cannot
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price would be strangely possessive over his assistant.
referring to her as things that really aren’t work appropriate at all. “swee’eart,” “dolly,” “sugar.” once, a “baby” slipped through his teeth, but he was switching the subject before she could really catch on.
it’s hard to pinpoint exactly when it was he started tacking “my” in front of his pet names. “my angel,” “my love.”
even when she wasn’t in the room ��� it was impossible to know he was talking about a colleague with the way he spoke about her. “my woman’s always on my case abou’ shit like that — cholesterol levels, sugar intake. fuckin’ bullshit, but i do it to make ‘er happy.” or “can’t stay long, lads — got my lady waitin’ on me.”
in the summer months, her skirts get a bit shorter and her tops a bit tighter. he doesn’t blame her, the AC is shit and the heat can be suffocating. what does bother him, though, is the way his men ogle her as they stroll past her desk. how they’re coming up with excuses to visit her throughout the day.
it’s an easy enough fix. “why don’t ye come work in my office for the day, lovey?” he’s already collecting her paperwork. “keep an old man company, would ye? i’ve got a nice little fan too, keep ye nice an’ cool.”
though the job came with benefits, perhaps more than an assistant should be getting, price didn’t think it was enough. when her phone started to slow and the screen cracked, he left a new one on her desk. didn’t bother mentioning it came out of his paycheque. if she complains about her outfit — all my good clothes are in the wash — he’ll take her shopping, doesn’t let her worry about the totals. and, hey, if they end up at a lingerie shop, no one has to know, right? he’s just being a good boss. it’s only crossing a few boundaries when he gets her to model it for him in the fitting rooms. when she disappears behind the curtain, john adjusts himself in his slacks — it’s a natural reaction. on that note, it would make too much of a fuss if he were to correct the worker when she asks if his wife needs any help.
when day turns to night and she’s refusing price’s suggestion of hitting another shop, he pulls into a nearby restaurant, insists on treating her to a glass of wine to end the night. finding out she’s a lightweight is a pleasant discovery — two glasses in and her skin is warm to the touch, she’s giggling and hanging onto his every word. he likes her like this, he decides — but it’s not safe to leave her alone. no, she should stay with him tonight. another few sips and she’s agreeing, changing into one of her new lingerie sets and falling into john’s bed, dozing off with his hand splayed over her tummy, beard tickling the back of her neck.
it’s been too long since he’s had a woman in his life. his wires have gotten a bit crossed. you can’t blame him, can you?
edit! here’s more <3
#save me old man…. save me….#price ⋆₊˚⊹♡#my writing *ੈ✩‧₊˚#call of duty#john price x reader#john price x y/n#john price x you#cod#cod mwii#cod x reader#call of duty x reader#boss!price
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