#I don’t even know what kind of articles I could use that could help
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cosmicnovaflare · 5 months ago
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So I know how much you love exploring the world through historical fashion, and since the Eastern Commonwealth apparently spans all of Asia, have you dabbled in any of the more uncommon Asian garments for Cinder/Kai? I've been thinking about Cinder wearing a Saree but I'm also curious about Thai, Vietnamese, Burmese, Cambodian etc.
I have so many outfits saved that I’ve never got to (as I regularly fail them in practice). A lot of the time I’ll start out with a specific idea before I fail and revert back to hanfu since I’ve spent the most time practicing that so far. I want to make sure I do it right, so I’d rather wait until it looks correct. My current work for Kai will hopefully be a yellow Manchu (Yeah that was a lie, I failed again in colour and cloth in the middle of writing this.) I think both the E.C and Luna would wear chut thai (with makuṭa headdresses on the moon) and sarees, salwar kameez, dhoti kurtas, and other similar garments. I imagined Kai’s wedding attire in Cress/Winter to be traditional Thai wedding menswear with the “sash” being a sabai? For festivals I’ve always wanted to try drawing them in a white kosobe with a red hakama (there’s probably a single word for this outfit that I do not know) as well as try out something Mongolian, though I have no specific ideas with that, just a lot of options. Heading back south, anything that resembles lavalavas (skirts, wraps, trousers, etc) would probably be very common in the E.C. Sinhs could be common both in the E.C and the moon, maybe having a unique pattern depending on what sector you’re in. Perhaps the common fabrics used in things would change, which would be a way to include Persian silks and other fabrics, meshing traditional material with other cultural clothes (I think this would pair really well with Áo dài.) I can see garments like the deel and nekhii deel still being worn as everyday clothes, especially for warmer climates. Since the E.C seems fairly homogeneous, (maybe due to Asia being hit the hardest by the last world war, repeat imperialism, foreign government control, or assimilation) all these garments could start mixing and matching with each other. Maybe some of these things are global. This is how traditional clothing has merged and become its own thing in the past. I just really like to imagine these things being embraced because we have already experienced clothing bans and forced assimilation so much, and the world in these books has probably experienced more. Even before humans had the FOXP2 mutation that allowed us to understand language, we were making jewellery and art that meant something to us. It seems trivial, but keeping these things alive seems really important in both real life and fiction.
Once again, I am so very sorry if I have referred to things incorrectly. I’ll have some access to research papers that could help in a few weeks, but I am very much not a smart person, but I will still try my best.
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lovebloods · 10 months ago
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#hiding this in the tags bc it’s kind of embarrassing and i need to get it off my chest#and i could journal about it but i just want someone to see me#sorry for being cringe <333#but i don’t know what the hell i am like i don’t know if i’m even nonbinary anymore and that scares me like being nonbinary felt like coming#home after a long trip#and now i’m having all these thoughts about wanting to be a man? like near tears rn bc i want to be a guy but then when i think of actually#being a guy i freak out a bit#bc i like being seen as feminine too and i know that there are feminine men and they get treated so terribly#and i feel like all the men i see that i want to be like or look like are white! why don’t i see any black trans men like i feel so alone#and i’m scared to look/be openly trans bc there’s so much violence against people like us that it feels safer to just cosplay as a cis woman#even though i’m not#like i don’t want to be a boy but i want to be one and i absolutely don’t want to be a girl but i’d like to be seen as someone sometimes#it’s all very confusing#AND like i know i’m biromantic like im attracted to all genders and people#but im like? am i on the ace spectrum#bc i have a low sex drive am often sex repulsed and will sometimes ‘test’#myself to see if im sexually attracted to people and most of the time it’s like#it’s like meh not really but sometimes im like sure but that’s rarer and rarer these days?? and like. tmi here but i jerk off and enjoy it#so i can’t be asexual right?? i tried looking it up but the articles just confused me#but then i also am like with the right person if i had a connection to them i wouldn’t mind having sex with them! but like. then i think#about actually having to be in a relationship and i’m like gross no but i think that’s just relationship trauma and fear of being#vulnerable#and like i know i don’t HAVE to have a label on my gender or sexuality but for me personally it helps to know What i am#and and i love butches so so so much and if i’m a man how can i love butches? like#it’s all so confusing#i feel like i’m 14 and going through puberty again
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timmydraker · 4 months ago
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CW: use of R word
Tim who, as much as he doesn’t want it to be true, is a poster boy for typical Neurodivergence. He’s more logically thinking that emotionally and needs obvious signs of someone’s emotional state that he can put together to understand how he should respond to help them.
But that’s not what bothers him because that doesn’t bother his parents.
Instead it’s his passion, though not in technology and detective work as they quickly found use for that in their business, but for bugs.
Ever since he was a kid Tim has been enamoured by insects and arachnids and even fungi. He would only read books that talked about bugs or had one on the cover, but since it helped him learn to read at a steady pace his parents didn’t mind.
At least, not at first.
When Tim got into coding just so he could make his own little web-journal for all his bug finds, they were happy he was learning how to organise and structure at just six years old, but when he only did those things regarding bugs…
Tim had his first panic attack when he watched his father pick up his terrarium filled with Diapheromera Femorata (Stick bugs) and chucked it into the bin. The glass shattered as the corner his something hard and he was forced to watch his bugs struggle to navigate the glass and rubbish, most of them injured.
His mother had gagged when she saw them and demanded the whole bin be burnt with the bugs still inside.
Tim had been so heart broken, but mostly confused. His parents traveled the world to dig up dirt and old items that were mostly the same yet they didn’t like bugs?
When he asked one his Nanny’s she gave him an answer that he would never forget, “Well, you see… only those people like bugs, y’know? The… special ones, like re-“
Tim never even let himself think of the last word she spoke and from then only forced himself to only focus on his computer work. He still loved photography but now he took photos of skylines and trees, not the beautiful beehive a few yards behind his house or the spider webs that sat between branches like art works. He took photos of Batman and Robin and for a long time that was enough to make his longing bearable.
If he still followed several pages and articles about bugs either a secret email account, that didn’t matter.
His parents were happy with him even if they still made remarks about his ‘stupid little fixation’.
It’s when they are going over the paper work for Bruce to be Tim’s legal guardian while they weren’t home with Tim’s older brothers hanging around as moral support (bodyguards) that his parents mock him.
Janet is signing some paper with a stupidly expensive pen and chatting to no one in particular when she says, “You’re all lucky we killed this nasty little bugs of his so you don’t have to deal with them.”
Everyone else in the room freezes, beside Jack who huffs a laugh and adds, “Good thing we did, he’d probably be more of a retard otherwise- talking about ‘habitats’ and bloody spiders.”
All of the members of the Wayne family are dead quiet as Tim sits there with a clear look of disassociation coming into his eyes. Alfred has a calm look on his face that tells all who know him that he’s furious and Bruce is strikingly similar.
Jason looks ready to attack and Dick isn’t even moving to stop his brother or calm anyone down.
Damian is holding onto Titus’s collar like a lifeline but seems to give the hound some kind of silent order as the usually calm dog begins to growl low and dangerous.
Jack and Janet tense and stare at both dog and master, Jack ordering him to control his dog.
Bruce stands, letting Titus growl and taking the half signed papers and throwing them in the bin, “I changed my mind, I will be taking you to court for full custody of my son. Leave my house now so I may obtain a restraining order.”
Janet genuinely flounders for a moment and begins to shout about outrage and audacity but when Dick sees that Tim is starting to cry he stands up and reminds them that he is a cop before moving to pick up his second youngest brother and leaving the room.
Tim doesn’t hear much else, only muffled shouting and the sound of a door slamming.
He distantly realises he’s in the family room, not the one they use to have guest but the real one with beanbags and a snack draw, and is being cradled by his brothers. Even Damian is beside him, holding onto his hand tightly as they wait for Bruce and Alfred.
Tim sobs into Dicks chest for Alamos a whole hour before settling more, Bruce coming into the room and Jason and Dick reluctantly hand him over to he can be held by their father.
“Tim, chum, it’s alright. We’ve got you.”
The boy in question shakes his head, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I won’t talk about the bugs I promise-“
Bruce squeezes him tighter and kisses his head, “I don’t want that. What I want is to hear about your bugs.”
Stunned, Tim looks up at him with confusion and barely gets his mouth to move enough to ask what he means.
Dick coos from beside him on the next couch and runs a hand through his hair lovingly, “My sweet baby brother we love you, and you love bugs! So of course we want to hear about it. I’m so sorry we didn’t know how they had been treating you but it was wrong. There’s nothing wrong with you, I swear it.”
Tim sniffled, nodding absentmindedly. They gave him a moment for their words to sink in before Damian spoke up, “Timothy, I demand you tell me about your bugs.”
Jason makes a noise and elbows Damian as if to tell him to shut up, probably thinking the other was being rude, but Tim knows his brother well and just smiles. “I can do that, Dami. I… I don’t think you’ll be very interested though.”
Damian scoffs, “I will ignore that statement as it implies I would waste my time with something I don’t care for.”
Bruce smiles at his youngest and holds Tim’s hand, “I agree. Could you maybe tell us about why you like them? Or your favourites?”
It takes him a moment to respond, but when he looks at all their open expressions and gets an encouraging nod from Alfred, he stutters out a response before gradually gaining confidence as they ask genuine questions to his facts and descriptions.
They each make an effort to ask him about bugs, Jason asking a few times if he wants to check out some books that he knows use bugs as symbolism’s and Dick asking if he can tell him the difference between insects and arachnids several times. Damian and Bruce are both a bit more subtle with their support at first, but after a month Tim enters his room to find a giant terrarium with several different sections so he can have multiple bugs that might not get along with each other.
Bruce and Alfred don’t even make any comments or give disapproving looks when Dick and Jason reveal they each got a tattoo of the bug that Tim said he associates with them.
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luveline · 9 months ago
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do you have anything more from office frenemies with james? i just read it and i loved it so much
yes! love u ty
—you and James don’t get along until you kind of, sort of do. fem!reader, 1.5k
James listens to the most obnoxious playlist in the mornings. There’s about a fifteen minute window between when he arrives and when the workday officially starts, which coincides exactly with your window. He often gets the same elevator ride, walks a pace beside you, and decides whether he’s going to let the ‘lady’ go first through the door depending on the day. 
That morning, he’d opened the door widely, grinned at you with music blaring loud enough to make a normal person deaf from his earphones, and let you pass. Then he pretended to stick his foot out to trip you up, pulling it back at the last second. 
Jerk, you think, angry even now as he tucks himself into his desk, his earphones still ridiculously loud. He actually, genuinely, is going to get hearing damage. You’re not being bitter. Human ears aren’t meant for that. 
You click onto the workplace Outlook and open a tab on your desktop. How loudly can you listen to music? you google. A few articles appear straight away that fit your purpose —you drag them each into an empty email. Then, smiling to yourself, you find an article on the negative effects of workplace noise pollution and how this sort of selfishness can affect your coworkers’ mental health and add that at the very top. 
Hi James, 
please find attached a few articles I felt might be important for you to read.
Worst, 
Your unhappy adjacent desk. 
You know he’s received it when he laughs loudly, turning down his music with a few quick clicks on his phone. 
An email comes through to your inbox shortly after.
Hi bestie, 
I’m so so sorry for the noise. Please find attached a few articles I, in turn, felt you might enjoy. 
Best, 
James Potter :) 
He’s attached an irksome variation of articles. Why music can help you get ready for the day. Ten ways workplace friendships are important. Can you really find your soulmate at work? 
You open your personal messaging system. You tend not to use it with James, but this morning he’s winding you up. 
I could report you to HR for that last one, you send. 
He replies quickly. You try very hard not to look up at him from over your desktop. I didn’t mean me. 
You’ll be deaf by thirty. 
Jealous you don’t have such great taste in music? 
Jealous of everyone in the annex. 
Want a cup of coffee?
You meet his gaze finally over the computer, find him already looking at you. You shake your head scornfully. In what world would you ever want him to make you a coffee? He’s never actually offered to make you one before, to be fair, but he’s awful to you so what are you supposed to think? He’ll probably poison it. 
He stands to leave. Remus, the other accountant to complete your trio, arrives while he’s gone with his boyfriend Sirius in tow. They’re also James’ best friends, unfortunately. It makes for some awkwardness. 
“Where is he?” Remus asks you, in the midst of a quick goodbye kiss before Sirius makes his way to his desk further down the office. 
You nibble your lip and give a dispassionate shrug. You hate talking about James. You hate his stupid mess of hair, his reading glasses, his lips when he smiles crookedly and worse when he’s glaring at you. You hate the way he sighs as he clicks his neck, the quick lap he does every other hour complaining of tired legs, the genuine tenderness he shows you whenever you’re sick. You hate James. You don't like to think about him too much lest you get caught, a fish in a net.
Or a fish with a painful hook in its lip. 
“Ah, you’re here,” James says, two cups of coffee in his hand. 
You’re only a little heartbroken when he puts one on his desk and one on Remus’. Didn’t want one anyways. 
Remus grins as James comes up behind him for a rough hug and hair ruffle. “How was last night?” 
“I wish you’d come. Sirius spent all night trying to out drink Marl, you know he can’t, so I spent all night holding his hair out of his face. I wasn’t gonna talk to him this morning, but he was being very pathetic.” 
James laughs. You pretend you aren’t listening to them, pretend you don’t feel left out even if they have no reason to be your friend, clicking at random things on your screen and scrolling through spreadsheets long finished and filed. “You know I couldn’t come, Moony,” —no point starting on their awful nicknames— “what if she needed me?” 
You still. She? 
“James, there’s not much you can do,” Remus says gently. He’s a quiet, soft sort of man, but they’re all so loud about loving one another. “You have to let her… you know.” 
You feel them both looking at you, your gaze steadfast on your screen. 
“Try not to think about it,” Remus says. 
“I’ve been distracting myself,” James agrees. 
Oh, you think. Oh. I’m such a dick. 
“You could go home?” Remus says, putting his face in his hand. “I could cover you.” 
“It’s too much work.” 
“I know, but, you know, I’ll do half, and you’ll only have half to catch up on when you come back.” 
You’re not sure who she is, and you very much still don’t like James Potter, but you're not heartless. He sounds awfully upset, fragility to his voice and a foreign balling of his fist by his hip. “Um,” you say, clearing your throat weakly, “well, with me and Remus, we could cover for you.” 
James’ face is unreadable, looking down at you. “You’d cover for me?” he asks. 
“Your work isn’t exactly hard, James.” 
“But you’d do it?” 
“How long will you be off for?” 
James frowns. “Like, two days?” he says quietly. 
“That’s fine. We can do that,” you say, checking with Remus from around James hip. “Yeah?” 
“Of course,” Remus says quickly. 
James looks at you long and hard. “You’re not kidding?” 
“No, James. Not kidding. You’d do the same for me, right?” 
James leans down to hug you before you can stop him. His arms wrap around your shoulders, a perfectly amicable touch made up of sleeper muscle and the attractive smell of almond oil, nearly sweet, slightly woody. He laughs against your cheek as he pulls away, turning back to Remus for a similar hug. “Thank you. I’ll go tell Danny right now.” He beams at you. His relief is thick as honey, palpable in his warm tone. “Thank you.” 
You can’t look at him very long. 
The memory of his fingers linger, the weight of his arm behind your head. He excuses himself to go talk to your boss, and you and Remus sit in a semi-awkward silence, of which you’re wholly responsible. 
“His cat is dying,” Remus says eventually.
You wince. “Oh, no, really?” you ask. 
“He’s had her since we were kids. It’s really nice of you to do this.”
“I really do think he’d do it for me,” you interrupt. “I’m not, you know, cruel, because we don’t get on.” 
“I know. James knows that too.” 
You want to get defensive. Why does it matter if James knows? But Remus is too nice to argue with, and secretly, strangely, you’d wanted James to know you aren’t mean. You wouldn’t have sent him that email this morning if you’d known, and maybe this is apology enough for that. 
Still, it doesn’t feel right when James returns, gathering his suit jacket from the back of his chair. “Thank you guys, so much. I will bring you the most amazing desserts of all time as a thank you. I won’t even put your mug on the top shelf the next time I wash it,” James promises you. 
You bat aside the rage of knowing he’s the culprit and instead get out of your seat before he can leave. “Uh, James?” you ask. 
He raises his eyebrows. “Yeah?” 
You look at the floor by his shoes. “About earlier…”
James stands subtly between you and the bulk of the office. “You okay?” 
“I just– I’m sorry for complaining about your earphones. I wasn’t trying to be insensitive.” 
“You weren’t insensitive,” he says, “I was being obnoxious. Don’t worry about it, okay?” 
“I–” You hate yourself for all your stammering. “Hope whatever is wrong, that you’re okay. I’ll cover for you for the week if you need me to.” 
“Please stop feeling sorry for me. It looks weird on you. I much prefer you when you’re frowning, you get these super deep wrinkles in your forehead that I just love.” 
You turn away without looking up. “I’m gonna input all your sales information wrong.” 
“And I’m gonna bring you the best donut you’ve ever tasted to say thanks, sweetheart.” 
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willowsnook · 2 months ago
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Let me in
Hi! Love your idea for a prompt list. Can I order: A turkey swiss on wheat bread, maybe mike’s way if you feel like it’s fitting for the sandwich?
Joe burrow x bsf!reader
Please don’t leave
—-----------------------------------------
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Fall in Cincinnati was something that you loved. The trees changed colors, you could start leaving your windows open, and, of course, Bengals football. Now, you’d never claim that you were a die-hard fan, that was still reserved for your beloved Green Bay Packers, but after 5 years in the city, they were a solid 2nd favorite. Plus, being good friends with the starting quarterback meant you had to root for them. 
You met Joe at a charity event a year after you moved to Ohio. Working for a Cincinnati-specific lifestyle magazine, your recommendations and reviews had made you quite well known in the city. Your strategy was always finding small, hidden gem places, usually family-owned, to review and elevate. This fulfilled your need to make a difference and also get paid to eat food. 
While your job was so public and in the spotlight, you were pretty introverted, which surprised a lot of people. You didn’t necessarily enjoy being the center of attention, focusing more on making those around you shine. This meant that while you were appreciative of being recognized by the community, you hated going to big events; you’d much rather just be writing about them. 
So when the introverted star of Cincinnati joined you in the shadows of an event, the two of you hit it off. Knowing who you were, his PR team had noticed and pitched a content series involving Joe. You spent a whole day with him, going to places he recommended and giving instant reviews. Initially, you were worried about it being awkward because you didn’t know him well, but you both had a blast. Joe was easy to talk to, and he liked that you treated him like anyone else. 
After that, he’d invited you to hang out with his friends several times, and Ja’marr really liked you, insisting that you be added to the friend group. Since then, you’d spent the last couple of years being forced to go to every home Bengals game, but you could also easily force one of them to help you with some kind of content for work. A mutually beneficial friendship you thought. 
Midway through the week, you were back at your apartment, taking pictures of some cookies someone sent you to be considered for an upcoming article you were writing. You snapped the perfect picture just as your phone rang, and you looked over to see it was Joe calling. 
“What’s up?” You said, putting the phone on speaker. 
“I’m bored. Can I come hang?” He asked. 
“Yeah, I’m doing some work, but I’ll be done soon.”
“Okay, I’m on my way.” 
You were used to Joe calling you randomly to hang out, especially when the season was going poorly. One thing you learned in your years of friendship with him was that he didn’t like to be alone, mostly so he didn’t spiral thinking about everything. You were happy to be a friend he could lean on. 
15 minutes later, you heard your front door open and smiled as Joe wandered into the kitchen. He gave you a small squeeze from behind as you leaned over your laptop. 
“Are you doing anything with these?” He asked, and you looked over at the cookies. 
“No, I just got done. Have at it,” you replied, amused as he shoveled one into his mouth. 
“These are pretty good,” he said, swallowing. “But I’ve had better.”
“Hmm,” you thought. “What don’t you like about them?”
“Too grainy,” he said, and you agreed, unable to think of what you were feeling. 
“That’s a good point; I’m using that,” you said, typing it down in your notes. 
“Watch out, I’m going to steal your job,” he joked, and you smirked. 
“Does that mean I get yours?”
“You’d probably do a better job than me right now,” he said, and you frowned, shutting your laptop. 
“You are still a superstar, even when you lose,” you told him earnestly, getting a small smile from him. 
“I think I need you with a headset on to tell me that during the games,” he said, and you laughed. 
“Yeah yeah,” you replied, blushing. “Want to take a walk or something? I need to get out of the house.” 
“Yeah, let’s go.”
The two of you walked down the street and ventured towards the water, chatting about upcoming events and his family coming to visit. You started to get chilly and held your arms briefly before Joe noticed. He pulled his hoodie off with one hand and handed it to you, not even stopping what he was saying. You pulled it on, inhaled the lingering cologne, and sighed. 
“Will you come to dinner with us tomorrow night?” he asked, jolting you back to reality.
“With your parents?” you asked, and he nodded. “Would that not be a little weird?”
“Why would it be weird?” 
“I don't know. I just wouldn’t want them to think we were dating or anything,” you said, confused. Joe frowned at that, but you didn’t have time to analyze it. 
“Ja’marr is coming too,” he said. “You are both my best friends, so I’d like you to meet them.” 
“Okay, if it’s important to you,” you agreed, giving in. Dinner with Joe’s parents. Huh. Sometimes you really didn’t understand why he chose you as a best friend when many people were fighting over it. If only people knew how clingy Mr. Cool was. 
—---------------------------------------------------
Ja’Marr picked you up from your place the next night and the two of you headed to dinner. 
“You look nice,” he commented, and you smiled. You and Ja’Marr had a flirty relationship, but nothing had ever come of it. One time, when you were both very drunk in the offseason, you had made out but it didn’t last long with him backing out, saying that Joe was going to kill him. You had just assumed that Joe didn’t want anyone in the friend group dating in case it got messy, which was understandable. With Ja’marr, you were mostly just attracted to him vs. wanting something more. 
“I still feel weird about this whole thing,” you admitted to him and he gave you a lazy smirk. 
“Please, they’ll love you,” he assured you. 
“That’s not what I’m worried about; I’m amazing,” you said, causing him to laugh. “I just think it’s weird and intimate. Like if my parents were in town, yeah, maybe I wouldn’t mind them meeting you guys at the game or to celebrate in a group after. But I wouldn’t invite you for a small dinner.” 
Ja’Marr gave you a look you couldn’t decipher before laughing to himself. 
“I’ll try not to take offense to that,” he said and you rolled your eyes. 
The restaurant was a nicer one that you had been to before for work. Joe’s parents stood up as you approached the table and warmly greeted you. His mom pulled you into a tight hug, laughing about how excited she was to meet you finally. You shot Ja’Marr a look and found him trying not to laugh. You could tell Joe was embarrassed, which made the situation a little amusing. 
Sitting down beside him, he gave you an easy smile while handing you the drink menu. Joe’s dad jumped into conversation with Ja’Marr about the season while Robin asked you a ton of questions about your job and basically your whole life. You ended up loving his parents; they were the sweetest people. While you might have missed the way that Joe was looking at you the whole dinner, his parents definitely did not. 
“It was so good to meet you y/n,” Robin gushed. “I’m sure we’ll see much more of you in the future.” 
You smiled, confused, while Ja’Marr couldn’t hold back his laugh. Joe’s face turned bright red and his dad chuckled. 
—------------------------------------------------
If you had thought the season was going poorly before it was a million times worse now. It seemed like each week, your two friends were putting up superstar numbers but still losing. After watching them lose by just a point to the Ravens, you clicked the TV off and sighed. Reaching for your phone you texted him a white heart and watched him read it and not reply. He usually would, even after a loss, but this one was tough so you didn’t pay much mind to it. 
As the week went on, you started to feel Joe’s tension about the team bleed into your friendship. He wasn’t answering your calls and had replied to any text you had sent him with just one word. What had really pissed you off though, was that he was supposed to shoot a Thanksgiving promo with you about places that provided free food for those who needed it and he didn’t show. 
“I get that you’re having a tough time right now and while I can live with you being a bad friend I can’t live with you 1. making me look bad professionally and 2. disappointing people making a difference. So give me a call when you figure your shit out,” you ranted to his voicemail. 
You were supposed to fly out for the game this weekend but weren’t sure if you still should. Calling Ja’Marr, you complained about Joe being a dick and that you didn’t know what to do. He assured you that you should still come and that Joe was just hurting because of the season. The best thing you could do was be there for him, even in the shadows. 
The game started out horribly with it being 24-6 leading into halftime. But a different team came out in the third quarter, and you went crazy as the Bengals got ahead. But like the week before, no matter what Joe did, even throwing for over 350 yards, they still lost in the end. You lingered by the locker room after the game and smiled sadly as you saw Ja’Marr first. He wrapped you in a hug, and he was happy to have you there. Joe on the other hand, did not look happy to see you. 
“What are you doing here?” he said coldly, and both you and Ja’Marr flinched. His teammate gave him a weird look, but Joe was just staring at you blankly. 
“I’ve had these tickets since before the season, you know that,” you replied. 
“I didn’t want you to come,” he said and you tried to ignore the hurt you felt. “Did you not get the hint from me ignoring you all week?” 
“Oh, so is that why you stood up the charity?” You bit back. “So that I would ‘get the hint’?”
Joe didn’t say anything, clenching his jaw and Ja’Marr tried to step in. 
“I wanted her to come man,” he said and Joe snapped his head towards his friend. 
“Well just fuck her then and get over it,” he replied and your jaw dropped. Ja”Marr shoved him backward, yelling at him before security intervened. You recovered from your shock and turned around, abruptly leaving the stadium. You called an Uber to take you back to the hotel, and the massive traffic gave you a lot of time to process what had just happened. 
You could understand him being upset over the game, especially since it was so fresh in his mind. But it’s not like you went up to him; he came up to you. This man was supposed to be your best friend, and he basically just called you a whore to your face. This shit was ridiculous. 
30 minutes later, you were walking into the hotel. Ja’Marr had tried calling, but you declined. You called the airline you were flying with to see if there was any chance of flying out early, and you were lucky to snag a seat on the last flight out. You quickly packed up your stuff after changing into a comfier outfit and headed down to the lobby to check out and call a car. 
Turning to head out the door you stopped as you saw Joe walking in, his eyes trained on you. He looked miserable and he made his way towards you slowly. 
“Y/n..” he started, his eyes filling up with tears, but you stopped him from saying anything else. 
“I’m leaving,” you said emotionlessly. He tried to reach out to you, but you flinched back and pain flashed across his face. 
“I need to talk to you y/n,” he begged. “Please don’t leave.” 
“Why would I stay?” You asked softly. “Goodbye, Joe.” 
You left him standing there wondering why it felt like your own heart was breaking into two. 
—-----------------------------------------------
It had been two weeks since then, and you had successfully avoided Joe at all costs. He blew up your phone of course but you have yet to answer. Luckily he hadn’t tried coming to your apartment because he knew you well enough to know that it’d piss you off. 
You were on your way to hang out with Ja’Marr for a group movie night which he promised you that Joe would not be at. You don’t know why you even believed him; Joe’s car was parked in the front driveway and you almost reversed until you saw Ja’Marr waving his arms at you. Stepping out, you crossed your arms, waiting for him. 
“I knew you wouldn’t come if you knew he was here,” he started and you scoffed. 
“You were right.”
“I am miserable because he is y/n,” he pleaded. “I’m sorry but I will be selfish for a minute. He is being a dick at practice to everyone and isn’t throwing me good balls. He’s moody, won’t say a word to me, and won’t leave his house unless necessary. So please let him make it up to you. You two belong together.”
“He called me a whore Ja’Marr!” You exclaimed frustrated and gave you a sympathetic look. 
“I know he did, and that was terrible. I tried to fight him on your behalf,” he said, earning a small smile from you. “God I shouldn’t tell you this but he’s so in love with you it’s insane. He’s hurting and you’re hurting. Please just talk to him.”
“He’s not in love with me,” you said and he just rolled his eyes. 
“Believe what you want but get in there,” he said steering you towards the door. 
The good thing was that there were a few other people here from your friend group, so technically, you didn’t even have to talk to him. He was the first person you saw when you walked in so clearly, this was a coordinated effort between the two friends. 
Joe did look sad, and you wanted to be happy about it, but you couldn’t find it in yourself. He was dressed down in grey sweats and a black T-shirt, his hair looking like he had run his hands through it over and over. His eyes were puffy, and that made your heart clench. 
“Are we ready to start?” One of your other friends called from the living room and you started to walk towards the room but Joe gently grabbed you, pulling you closer to him and letting Ja’Marr pass. 
“Can we talk?” He mumbled quietly to you and you nodded, letting him pull you into the study. You stood with your arms crossed as you looked at him, waiting. 
“I’m sorry y/n. I’m so sorry,” he said, his voice cracking slightly. “I was hurting so bad and I took it out on you. The one person who has always been there for me.” 
“Sorry isn’t going to cut it Joe,” you said, frustrated. “It’s not like it was just the comment; it was the week leading up to it, missing the event. I can’t be there for you when you don’t let me in.”
You had imagined how this conversation would go multiple times over the past few weeks. You expected an apology and another apology, but you did not expect Joe Burrow to start sobbing in front of you. 
He sunk against the wall and had his head in his hands while he was crying. Your shock wore off, and you knelt down in front of him, moving in between his legs. He looked up and your heart broke at his tear-stained face. 
“What is going on, Joe?” You asked softly, wiping some of his tears with your thumb. 
“I just don’t know what to do,” he whispered. “Everything is going wrong, and I don’t feel like I’m in control. I do everything I can, and it’s still not enough.” 
“Oh Joey,” you murmured, pulling his head into your shoulders. He held on to you tightly as he cried and you ran your hand through his hair gently. 
“I’m sorry,” he rasped. “I’m sorry I hurt you; I hated myself the second I said it.” 
“I forgive you Joe,” you told him, looking into his teary eyes. 
“I don’t deserve you; I’m not good enough for you,” he said. “I want to be enough for you.”
You cupped his face gently, making him look at you. Your own eyes started to water at the vulnerability he was showing.
"Joe, you’ve always been enough for me," you whispered. "You don’t have to prove anything. Not to me, not to anyone. I’m here for you, not for what you do or don’t achieve."
His brows furrowed, and he shook his head slightly, his hands moving to hold yours. "You don’t understand, y/n. I don’t just want to be your best friend—I want to be everything to you. And I’ve been so afraid of ruining our relationship that I pushed you away instead."
Your breath caught in your throat. "Joe..."
"I love you," he said, his voice breaking, but his gaze held steady. "I’ve been in love with you for so long, and I didn’t know how to tell you. But pushing you away hurt worse than anything I’ve ever felt on the field. I can’t lose you."
For a moment, the weight of his words left you speechless. You searched his face, finding nothing but raw sincerity. Your heart ached, but in the best way, as if it were piecing itself together after being fractured.
"I love you too, Joe," you admitted to him and yourself, a soft smile breaking through the tears on your face. "But you have to let me in. No more shutting me out, no matter how hard things get. We figure it out together, okay?"
His hands tightened around yours, and he nodded, relief washing over his features. "Together. I promise."
You leaned forward, gently kissing his forehead before resting your own against it. The two of you walked out of the study and into the living room, where everyone else was already engrossed in the movie. Ja’Marr looked between the two of you and at your connected hands and gave you a wide smirk. Joe moved to the big armchair and pulled you down with him, and you snuggled into his lap. His arms wrapped around you, and you finally felt content. 
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jezabelle9299 · 1 month ago
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You're It for me S.R x FEM! reader
Overture- Your walking through a used bookstore when you spot an old magazine with your boyfriends face on the cover-- not for his academic ability
CWs- Comparison to Lila Archer, feeling replaceable, this is diet angst- I don't have the guts or skill for the truly heart wrenching, kissing
A/N- I was kind of picturing an early season 2 Spencer? Like they've been dating for a while, but like-- not more than maybe 2 years, so they're still a little bit nervous. Also this is the first of many things I'm doing this December so hopefully everything goes well and if you want to read any of the other things I'm doing you could do so HERE
Right in your favorite used bookstore, on top of some other old magazines, there it was. It caught your eye at first because of the vibrant photo— but when you stopped to look you saw a beautiful young actress rubbing her face onto your wonderful boyfriend's hand. You felt sick, but you pushed through it to buy the stupid thing so you could read it. 
You barely made it through the checkout line, pale as a ghost and wishing you’d never walked in there. Because why didn’t he tell you? The publishing date was only months before you started dating and he hated touch. Was this a long relationship? An intimate moment no one else was supposed to see?
By the time you got to your car you’d ripped the plastic covering off the magazine opening up the article about Lila Archer. You hadn’t really heard of her before, but she was gorgeous. The more you read about the ‘secret relationship’ between her and Spencer the more upset you got— until in one of the final sentences it said one of their reporters found them in a pool—fully clothed—making out. Spencer. Your germaphobic boyfriend who was nervous about so much as touching you in passing for your first 3 dates jumped into a pool to make out with someone he couldn’t have known for that long.
You sat on the couch in your apartment after a silent ride home. Spencer was supposed to meet you to spend some time together, he’d be landing any minute– but it was all you could do not to cry. It was before you were dating but you just felt– Insecure? Replaceable? You weren’t quite sure, but comparison stole your joy and left you with nothing but a sour mood and a boyfriend on his way to see you– one who was qualified to notice that you were upset nearly immediately upon seeing you. 
“Hey honey— I’m so glad I’m finally home. I’ve missed you so much.” He walked through the door, you’d told him so many times that he could come in without knocking– he even had his own key– and he moved straight to you. He leaned in to kiss you, but your lips were unrelenting, not soft like they usually were. You weren’t in the mood for romance right now and he wanted to figure out why. 
Not that you always had to be in the mood for physical touch, but usually when he got home from longer cases you were on him from the moment he walked through the door. He loved that— he missed that right now. 
“Is something wrong? Are you ok?”
“Yeah Spence, I’m fine.” You plastered on your best fake smile to no avail, only making Spencer more concerned in your efforts. 
“Did something happen while I was gone?”
“Nothing happened.” 
“I know you’re not telling me something. I can’t help if I don’t know what’s going on.” Despite his words, his tone wasn’t accusatory at all. Only concerned. 
“I don’t need help— I just saw something that kind of… freaked me out is all.” You were really trying to downplay the effect that stupid magazine cover had on you.
“Did I leave one of my case files laying around? Oh honey I’m so sorry— I thought I picked them all up before I left.”He was wracked with guilt over something that didn’t even happen. 
“No Spencer it wasn’t that. It was a magazine? You were on the cover.” You thought he knew what you were talking about. I mean he’s been in a few science magazines for his academic ability, but nothing else like this. At least you certainly hoped not. 
“What magazine? From this month?” 
“No— it was a few months before we started dating. It was you and Lila Archer? I know it was before we started dating; and I know I have no right to be upset by it but it just— it just kind of took me by surprise, you know?”
“Oh. I forgot about that.” 
“You forgot about it? It said you were found fully clothed in her pool, and you just forgot?” You weren’t accusatory, just hurt—your voice was breaking by the end and you were still trying to look up at him. 
“It really wasn’t like that, I only knew her for a week— we were in LA because she was being stalked, I was supposed to be guarding her and she pulled me into the pool.” with just that one sentence he made it infinitely worse. He knew her for a week, and he wasn’t worried about her germs? What made her so different?
“You only knew her for a week?”
“Well–yes?” It was clear by the way he looked at you that he thought that would be a comforting notion. It was anything but. 
“On our first date you didn’t even want to touch me. You didn’t kiss me until we’d been dating for almost 2 weeks. I was perfectly fine with those things because I know you don’t really like touch but I need you to be honest with me about something. Do you just not like me as much? Because if you don’t that’s– well that’s ok. I mean I don’t want to be worried that you’re going to get a case in LA and find someone better.”
“Honey let me be perfectly clear– there is no one better. I love you more than anything or anyone on this Earth.” Spencer’s reassurance just wasn’t comforting you like it usually did. 
“Then–why? I mean do you just not think about me physically in that way?”
“I think the way I feel about you physically could easily be described as clingy and/or obsessed. You know this, sweetheart.” He held tightly onto your hands- rubbing the back of hand with his thumb
“Well now sure, but I honestly kind of thought you just weren’t attracted to me when we first started going out.”
“I was– and am for the record– extremely attracted to you. Some of my hesitance towards touching you was germ-based, but honestly I was just so ridiculously, extremely nervous around you that I was afraid to touch you and mess everything up.”
“Oh.” 
“Yeah, honey in case you hadn’t noticed you’re kind of it for me.” That feeling in the pit of your stomach finally subsided— giving way to the same feeling of love you always feel when Spencer wraps you in his arms. 
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charleslee-valentine · 2 months ago
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Trudy refills Vincent’s cereal. He’s 2-3 years old and blind in one eye. He doesn’t need more cereal, he just needs his bowl rotated so he can see the cereal that was left over on his blind side. Not that we necessarily know how Vincent communicates without speech, but she hardly gives him time to answer her question about more before she’s refilling the bowl anyways. This is her approach to parenting her boys in general.
There’s no interest in fixing their actual issues. Rather than help Vincent to see what he already has in front of him, she’d rather add more, inadvertently also adding more onto the side he can’t see. At some point, this would just add to the issue. Overcompensation into overwhelm. Bo is brought in for breakfast kicking and screaming and it’s sort of evident why Trudy puts all her love into Vincent to the point of it being suffocating and unhelpful. Sure it could be a simple case of favoritism, but with the aspect of overcompensation specifically, it seems that she wants to balance her guilt over failing to parent one of her sons by pouring more effort than necessary into Vincent. Rather than giving the extra attention to Bo, it’s refilling a non-empty bowl of cereal.
I don’t think that necessarily mean she loves Vincent more. She finds him easier to parent. Fill the bowl whether or not he needs it because that’s easier than unpacking where Bo’s massive emotional outbursts are coming from. It seems more like love-bombing than genuine kindness. He’s “being such a good boy today,” but the implied part is an unsaid comparison to Bo. As twins, and conjoined twins at that, they’re not independent of each other. Vincent’s behavior exists only to contrast Bo’s, from her perspective. “Fix” his needs, and she can fix them both. Hence, preferring just to duct tape Bo to a chair than help him any.
Then Vincent grows up to become her protege, starting in his childhood but lasting until even after Trudy’s death. Over thirty years have passed since they were toddlers in those high chairs, but Bo gives a hint about why Vince got that ‘special privilege’ to not be as physically abused. “She always said that your talent would make up for what God took away from you.” Only, God didn’t take anything. Victor Sinclair doing illegal, unqualified surgery on his babies is why Vincent lost half of his face. Trudy only uses God’s name and religion as a shield for her own guilt about how her boys turned out. But it’s more likely she included Vincent in the wax business because she again, was dumping affection onto him over and over as her strategy.
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Otherwise there isn’t as much favoritism between the boys. In their childhood photos, they both play piano, both play pool and baseball, both get to sit at the table with their birthday cake (without highchairs or bindings) and they play on the floor together. It's not entirely divisive between them, though it’s still obvious from which brother she’s slapping across his face and which brother she’s love-bombing which she’d prefer to deal with. Just not which she actually cares for more. Vincent wasn’t somehow spared from abuse in a house like the Sinclair household.
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Interestingly, when Bo tells the story of Trudy and Victor, he mentions that once the Doc died, they were alone. Except, there’s at least one version of a prop newspaper stating that Trudy created a wax memorial for Victor. So this is just a false version of events most likely. Sure it could be that a decision changed, but there’s also the fact that, in the guns and ammo store, there’s a sign that says “Trudy’s Town or Wax.” And Bo tells Vincent, “We almost finished what mama started.” She’s also much older than the Trudy we see in the family photos and articles (even with the amount of cigarettes that woman smoked.) Ambrose is confirmed to have been abandoned for a decade, but to be turned into wax, Trudy would’ve had to die sometime between the abandonment of Ambrose and the present. Else she would’ve been properly buried most likely. The plan to fill Ambrose was hers, it’s just Bo that suggests using real humans (according to his apology to Vincent, he takes credit for the idea anyhow.)
Which makes her boys at least in their mid twenties when she died. In an older version of the script, Bo had killed her and Victor, but knowing it would put them all in foster care, that doesn’t quite make sense unless they were older. So the order of events is, Doc dying, the sugar mill closing, Trudy planning to reimagine Ambrose, and then dying herself.
The reason that’s important is because it’s emblematic of just how much pressure she was putting on both of her boys. And that’s not love. With two mentally ill, abused sons, (maybe three, since Lord only knows how they treated Lester once he came along,) that’s just manipulation. Victor and Trudy aren’t cartoon super villains for being bad to their boys. But when you can’t even just rotate a bowl slightly for your half blind little one, it’s shallow. Trudy has her cigarettes right in the boys faces in the opening and in most of the photos. Smoking was in one study linked to about 1/3rd of conjoined pregnancies, and in a similar case of conjoinment to the boys, one of the twins had lost an eye and had a prosthetic, but with minimal scarring because of the surgery being done in an actual legal hospital. It’s not about God taking anything, or about which is a little monsted and which is a very good boy- it’s about Trudy and Victor both messing up from the very beginning and causing the boys losses, then refusing to take accountability for it. Or, in the symbolic sense, to just do the right thing and turn a damn bowl of cheerios towards your blind kid.
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darlingdaisyfarm · 1 month ago
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what once was | Stanford Pines x reader
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tags: sfw, memory loss, established relationship
a/n: this one was hard to write, not gonna lie. i even cried. thank u anon for this wonderful idea! Ford has always been such a complex character to write, but I tried to show his love, pain and his determination.
thank you for reading, i hope this breaks you as much as it broke me to write :,,,,,)
Stanley version
you wake up to the familiar weight of his hand resting gently on your arm, it’s warm and it brings a sense of. . . some kind of safety. as if you’ve felt it before, but. . . at the same time no. no, you don’t know why it’s so comforting.
you blink, trying to focus, but your head hurts like you’ve been hit by a truck. you rub your temples, wondering why it feels like your brain’s been shredded into pieces that won’t stick together.
your vision is blurry at first, but your gaze shifts to the man beside you. dark circles under his worried eyes that still got some hope in them.
Ford hasn’t gotten more than an hour of sleep in weeks.
“hey. hey, sweetheart. you’re okay.”
you analyse his face, feeling a slight sense of panic inside. “wait, who— who are you?”
Ford’s face drops, not in shock, but in something far more painful. you’ve asked him this question before. you’ve asked it every single morning since the accident. and every morning, the answer is the same.
“it’s. . . it’s me, darling. Ford. your husband.”
your husband, he names himself. . . you wish you could make sense of the emotions in your chest right now, but you can’t, because you don’t understand, you can’t remember, nothing’s connecting. nothing makes sense and everything feels so wrong.
Ford cant stand the silence. “y-you don’t remember, do you?” please just tell him you do—
“no. . .”
his lips press together and he looks down, but he’s not mad, not angry. no, Ford’s never angry, not at you.
“i— i’m sorry,” you mumble with guilt in ur voice. “i really don’t remember, i’m sorry.”
Ford shakes his head, running a hand through his hair, trying to control the storm of emotions inside of him. he’s trying so damn hard to stay calm and not burst into tears right in front of you. “don’t— don’t apologize, it’s not your fault. none of this is your fault.”
you continue to look around, trying to find at least one thing in the room which could be familiar to you.
“w-we’ve been through this a thousand times, love,” Ford explains and looks away, focusing on the empty space in front of him. "i know this isn’t easy for you. for us. but i’m not going anywhere, we’ll figure this out. i’ll— i’ll fix it. i’ll find a way to bring your memories back. i promise."
“how long?” you ask. “how long have we been. . . married?” it’s so weird to even pronounce the last word.
“seven years, my love.”
***
Ford holds it together for you. he always does.
every morning, he wakes up before you. sits at the edge of the bed, rubs the sleep from his eyes and prepares to tell you who he is.
who you are.
he’s a scientist, logic is his shield and his weapon. he throws himself into his work, searching for something that could help.
he’s got sketches pinned to the walls, equations scattered across the desk. an entire board dedicated to explore how human’s psyche and mind works.
he's been up countless nights, fiddling with wires and strange gadgets, all while researching any possible way to bring you back to him. every book, every article, every experiment. even though he’s exhausted, theres still light in his eyes that never fades, a fire in him too. a stubborn determination to make things right, no matter what.
you catch him once, sitting at that desk with head in his hands, probably tired as fuck.
“hey. . .” you forgot his name again, damn.
Ford’s head snaps up immediately when he hears you because he hopes you came to tell him “honey, i remembered! i remembered we are married!”. you see the redness in his eyes, from tears or lack of sleep, youre not sure. he scrubs a hand across his face, trying to pull himself together.
Ford looks at you, waiting you to continue, waiting to hear these cherished magical words. but you stand here all silent and confused.
“you should be asleep, honey,” he finally tells you, realising you won’t continue.
“so should you,” you say softly, stepping closer.
when you reach out to touch his arm, he shudders.
“i can’t, i can’t lose you. not like this. i need to work.”
***
but there’s always another plan. the one he doesn’t tell you about.
Bill.
and Ford is not proud of it.
he knows it’s a dangerous path, one that’s led him to dark places he never wanted to go. but the temptation is too strong. the idea of reaching out, of making that deal to bring your memories back. . . if only for a moment, if only for a chance to see you smile at him like you once did. Ford has considered it, weighed the consequences, overthought it.
but each time, he’s pulled himself back. he can’t go down that road again. he won’t.
still, this idea stays in his mind. because every hour of research, every failed experiment, every sleepless night feeds that urge, a feeling that maybe the price will be worth it. just shake his hand and—
but he’s trying so hard to fight it because he can’t bring himself to make that choice, no matter how broken he feels inside. he won’t drag himself into that nightmare again, no matter how much his soul hurts, no matter how badly he wants to see you smile at him.
right now, he just wants to hold you, to keep you close. to be the one you turn to. he doesn’t need a deal with Bill. he needs you. he needs you to remember him the way he remembers you.
***
another morning.
you’re lying there, your head pressed softly against the pillow, still struggling to make sense of everything, who you are, who he is, what this is, you feel a mix of confusion and fear.
his hand is resting gently on yours, as always, his fingers caressing your skin with a tenderness that feels. . . familiar again, but so far away. he’s looking at you, waiting. just waiting. sitting beside you, thinking, trying to come up with more ideas.
you flip through a page of his journal and one of his drawings seems funny to you, you smile as you point at it, asking, “hey, Ford, so what is that thing?”
Ford.
he looks at you in shock. he doesn’t move, doesn’t speak as if the wrong word might shatter this fragile moment he’s been waiting so long to happen.
his heart pounds in his chest.
“Ford. . .?” you ask again, worried why he got so silent. unsure if you should’ve said anything at all.
again, you say it, his fucking name, and it shatters him. because it’s not just the name. it’s that you remembered it. that piece of him, the one he’s been clinging to with everything he’s got, has finally stuck in your mind.
his eyes shimmer for the first time in all these months. his gaze falls to your lips, memorising the shape of the sound you just made.
“did— did you— did you just say my name?”
you nod slowly, unsure if you’ve done something wrong.
but you did exactly what he’s been waiting for, praying for.
his hands grip at his face, trying to control the flood of tears that he can’t hold back any longer
“you— say it again. please. say it again.”
you’re confused at the urgency in his voice, but still do as he asks you. “Ford. your name is Ford.”
his name. his name. from your lips, it’s the most beautiful thing he’s ever heard.
Ford’s hand comes up, trembling, to cup your cheek. he touches you like you’re something so delicate and the sight of him hurts. hurts because you don’t remember what it feels like to be in his arms, what it felt like when he used to kiss your forehead goodnight, when he used to make you laugh until you couldn’t breathe.
“oh god, my love—” he cant continue because he simply starts crying. Ford presses a hand over his mouth, as if he could stop it, but he can’t. he can’t. “you— you remembered. oh, darling, you—” he just shakes his head, unable to speak as he gasps for air between sobs.
you stare at him, all lost. “Ford, are you— are you okay?” no, he’s not, he’s damn not, because he spent every waking moment trying to fix what’s been broken, for you.
Ford smiles through his tears, not even bothering to wipe them away. “no— yes. i-i’m fine, i just—” another sob cuts him off and he laughs bitterly through it. “god, you don’t. . . you don’t know what this means. you don’t—”
it’s not the anger, not the frustration that has been building up for weeks. it’s relief. it’s all the grief he’s been carrying.
Ford leans forward, reaching out for your hands, but he hesitates, because he’s scared you might pull away. because too much emotions which Ford used to hide. but you don’t and he grips them tightly, clutching them, wide smile never leaving his face.
“it’s you,” he whispers. “it’s you. you’re still in there. i knew it. i knew it.”
his forehead drops to your knuckles, his glasses slipping, tears falling down. “i was so scared, my love,” he admits through sobs. “so scared i’d lost you forever. that i’d never hear you say my name again. that—”
he can’t finish the thought, can’t even say it aloud. it’s too much, too cruel.
“Ford, i—“
he looks up at you and his cheeks are streaked with tears, eyes red, swollen and wide with disbelief and love. so much love it hurts.
“you d-don’t have to remember everything,” he whispers, his voice trembling but so, so tender and soft. “you don’t. i’ll wait. i’ll wait as long as it takes. but this. . . this is enough for me. hearing you say my name, it’s enough, darling.”
you don’t know why, but his words make you want to cry, too.
you can’t find the words to comfort him. how do you comfort him when he’s the one who’s been holding it all together, for you, all this time?
“it’s okay. it’s okay, Ford.”
the words feel too small, but they’re all you can offer, as your hand brushes against his cheek.
and Ford, your lovely Ford, your husband, he melts into your touch, like an affectionate puppy. he doesn’t try to hide it. he doesn’t try to be strong.
“i’ve been trying so hard. . .” Ford remembers every sleepless night, every failure, every moment when he thought he might lose you forever.
he pulls you closer, burying his face in the crook of your neck, holding you. you hold him back, just as tight.
“thank you,” Ford whispers into your skin. “thank you for remembering me, darling, for remembering us.”
you don’t know how much you’ve given him, not yet. but you will understand it later, much later. when you’ll remember him again, completely, soon.
but for now, you just hug him back, feeling how his body shakes, how he clings to you and you promise him you’ll remember.
“I love you so much,” he murmurs, “i’ve always loved you, sweetheart. i just— just needed you to remember that.”
he’s not asking you to remember everything, to recall every detail, every moment. no. he just needs to know that you still remember him.
and you do.
you do.
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haru-dipthong · 7 months ago
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Did you know that the english word “star” and the japanese word 星(ほし)don’t actually mean the same thing?
Language does not simply name pre-existing categories; categories do not exist in 'the world'
— Daniel Chandler, Semiotics for Beginners
I read this quote a few years ago, but I don’t think I truly understood it until one day, when I was looking at the wikipedia article for “star” and I thought to check the Japanese article, see if I could get some Japanese reading practice in. I was surprised to find that the article was not titled 「星」, but 「恒星」, a word I’d never seen before. I’d always learnt that 星 was the direct translation for “star” (I knew the japanese also contained meanings the english didn’t, like “dot” or “bullseye”, but I thought these were just auxiliary definitions in addition to the direct translation of “star” as in "a celestial body made of hydrogen and helium plasma").
To try and clear things up for myself, I searched japanese wikipedia for 星. It was a disambiguation page, with the main links pointing to the articles for 天体 (astronomical object) and スター(記号)(star symbol). There was no article just called 「星」.
It’s an easy difference to miss, because in everyday conversation, 星 and star are equivalent. They both describe the shining lights in the night sky. They both describe this symbol: ★. They even both describe those enormous celestial objects made of plasma.
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But they are different - different enough to not share a wikipedia article. 星 is used to describe any kind of celestial body, especially if it appears shiny and bright in the night sky. “Star” can be used this way too (like Venus being called the “morning star”), but it’s generally considered inaccurate to use the word like this, whereas there is no such inaccuracy with 星. You can say “oh that’s not actually a star, it’s a planet”, but you CAN’T say 「実はそれは星ではなく惑星だよ」 (TL: that’s not actually a hoshi, it’s a planet). A planet IS a 星.
星 is a very common word, essentially equivalent to “star”, but its meaning is closer to “celestial body”. I haven’t looked into the etymology/history but it’s almost like both english and japanese started out with a simple, common word for the lights in the sky - star/星 , but as we found out more about what these lights actually were, english doubled down on using the common word for the specific scientific concept, while japanese kept the common word generic and instead came up with a new word for the more specific concept. If this is actually what happened, I’d guess that kanji probably had something to do with it - 星 as a component kanji exists inside the word for planet, 惑星, and in the word for comet, 彗星, and in the scientific word for “star”, 恒星, so it makes sense that it would indicate a more general concept when used standalone.
This discovery helped me understand that quote - categories don’t exist in the world, we are the ones who create them. I thought that the concept of “star” was something that would be consistent across all languages, but it’s not, because the concept of “star” is not pre-existing. Each language had to decide how to name each of those similar star-like concepts (the ★ symbol, hot balls of gas, twinkling lights in the sky, planets, comets, etc), and obviously not every language is going to group those concepts under the same words with the same nuance.
Knowing this, one might be tempted to say that 恒星(こうせい) is the direct translation for “star”. But this isn’t true either. In most of the contexts that the word “star” is used in english, the equivalent japanese will be simply 星. Despite the meanings not lining up exactly, 星 will still be the best translation for “star” most of the time. This is the art of translation - knowing when the particulars are less important than the vibe or feel of a word. For any word, there will never be an exact perfect translation with all the same nuances and meanings. Translation is about finding the best solution to an unsolvable problem. That's why I love it.
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Dad headcanons | Leon S. Kennedy
warnings: pregnancy
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I picture Leon being in absolute bliss when you break the news to him. He’ll be laughing while hugging you. He’s never had a normal family, and I believe he would want children of his own. He’ll be so happy he won’t be able to erase a dumb smile from his face for the rest of the day.
Reads lots of articles on parenting and baby development.
A worrywart. One day several noises woke you up late at night and you discovered your husband babyproofing everything in the house. Turns out he was so worried he couldn’t wait til’ the morning.
You have to be very careful about mentioning your cravings because this man is driving in the middle of the storm if that means getting what you want. You’ll have to physically stop him from going out at ungodly hours just because you crave some donuts.
If it were up to him, you wouldn’t even get out of bed. He has to be holding your hand when you use stairs, no matter how many times you’ve tried to convince him you are totally capable of doing it alone.
“What’s next? I’m not allowed to use scissors?”
Your laugh slowly quietens as you notice Leon’s thinking face.
“... I don’t see why you would have to use scissors”
One day he came home with a big present box and when you opened it a german shepherd jumped at you. He got a trained police dog to keep you company. (Not before making extensive research on the best family dogs, of course).
On top of that, he would want to hire someone to help around the house because the thought of you being alone makes him worried sick.
He’s so silly. Talks to your belly all the time. When he comes home he always greets you with “how are my babies doing?”
He goes crazy with baby stuff. Clothes, plushies, bottles, toys, everything he sees in stores ends up in the baby room. The room is so full of stuff you two had to keep some things in the attic. He has promised to stop buying things several times but there’s always something that catches his eye and he has to get it.
“And this is a baby monitor— I know that face, you don’t like it”
“No, I love it, it’s just…”
“Yes?”
“You already bought one of those, love”
“Aha! No, I bought a different one. Now, you see, the one we had doesn’t had all the features this one has…”
Strikes me as the kind of guy who would want to wait a bit before telling people about the pregnancy… However, he ends up spilling the beans two or three times. Also, people kinda catch onto it because all he talks about is about children’s development.
Sometimes you wake up at night to find your lover lying awake, watching at the ceiling. Truth is, he can’t help but worry about your child’s future and spends hours thinking about it; but when you ask him what’s keeping him up, he always answers that the excitement of becoming a dad won’t let him sleep.
Will do the impossible in order to be with you during the delivery. He has warned his superiors months in advance that he needs to rest during the days when is probable the baby is coming. In the worst case scenario, where he isn’t able to make it in time, he is gonna be regretful for a very long time.
Definitely cries the first time he holds his baby.
He randomly wakes up at night and goes to check the baby. He’ll sit in front of the crib and stay there for a while, sometimes he picks the baby up and just holds them. Will always give them a kiss on their forehead before leaving.
Converses with the baby. He could be feeding them, or changing their diaper, and he talks to them as if they could understand him. Tells them about his day, how work is going. If you two were ever to argue (which is very rare and, if you do, always with a certain joke air), he is bringing the baby and puts them on his side. He looks at the baby and asks “can you believe this?”
You’ve found him watching baby cartoons not noticing the child is long asleep.
He is beyond cheerful because everytime you are carrying the baby, they raise their tiny arms to his dad wanting to be held by him.
Asks Claire to babysit whenever you two go out on dates.
Which he later regrets because now, everytime the baby sees Claire, they reach out for her. Even if Leon is carrying them. Makes him a bit jealous.
Your baby walks and talks very early on because of how much time Leon spends with them.
Every parent believes their kid is exceptional, but Leon could win the proudest dad competition. As your child grows up, Leon is so amazed by every milestone they complete. “I’m telling you, this child is going places”, he tells you the day your baby learns to roll over.
You mentioned to him once how cute you thought albums were, so now you two keep one for your kid. He takes terrible photos, but you think those are very adorable and keep them in the album.
Takes playtime seriously. He isn’t like those parents who don’t even care about what’s happening and leave at the middle of the game. Tea party? He is wearing his best clothes. Pretending to be spies? Won’t break character. He will be bashful if you catch him tho.
He has this ongoing thing with your child where they try to build the biggest sandcastle everytime you go to the beach.
He always says ‘I love you’ when saying goodbye. Once your child hurriedly kissed his cheek and pretended to leave, but Leon stopped them and said: “Everytime I tell you I love you, I mean it, it’s not just mindless words. Do you mean it?” He knows that, and god forbids it happens, he could not come back home one day. So it’s crucial for him for his child to understand how much he loves them.
It breaks his heart to leave his family so often. On one occasion he overheard your child begging you to talk to their father and ask him to please stop going on missions.
I picture him having a daughter.
The kind of man who takes his daughter to dates. Everytime he brings you flowers, he has another bouquet for his princess.
Your daughter is a performer. She makes up dances and songs and performs in front of you two.
Once, when she was young, she told him she wanted to marry him. He answered he couldn’t marry her because he is already married to you, to which your girl replied “Can I marry uncle Chris then?” Leon hasn’t recovered from that.
Maybe a bit delusional but you two invite over his D.S.O friends for Christmas, Claire and Chris included, and everyone brings a present for your daughter.
He’d like more than one kid, but often worries about what would happen to his family if he ever goes missing, so for now, another one isn’t in the plans.
Lying by your side at night, he sometimes thanks you for the opportunity to have a family.
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ririkookiemonster · 6 months ago
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Syllabus of Secrets - JJK
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Summary: You have been crushing hard on your hot English professor, Jeon Jungkook for months. When nothing seems to work when you do everything to get his attention, totally fed up and desperate, you decide to go all out: submitting a smutty story for your English project, pouring all your fantasies about him into it.
Pairing: Professor!jungkook x Student!reader
Genre: Smut
Warning: Dirty talk, unprotected sex (DO NOTTTT) degradation, name calling, fingering, spanking, rough sex, smut reading, office sex, dom!jk, sub!oc, student x professor, reader sends Jk a smut report, basically porn but in words.
Word count: 2.4K+
Writer: riri⛓️
Note: this is my first writing omggg. i have absolutely NO experience in writing, i just love to write hahaha. i hope y’all love this. please let me know how you feel about this one shot. please leave your suggestions and do tell me if there’s anything i can do to improve my writing. there’s always a room for improvement. anywayssss i hope you like it haha <33
🖇️MASTERLIST🖇️
🖇️click here to be added to the taglist🖇️
DEBUT POST!!!!
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You have been lusting after a certain someone for months now.
The cold-hearted English professor, Mr Jeon, had always been the definition of sexy. He is someone who can make ANYONE fold by just one look. He had always been on your mind since the semester began.  Always dressed sharply in a suit with a tie and a perfectly kept haircut, his sharp eyes seemed to cut through you whenever you spoke.
As you paced through the hallway, you remind yourself that he has never acknowledged your achievements in class, even when you’ve answered his questions with confidence, or aced another test. Again.
You've been doing everything you could to be noticed by him. Even if it meant giving him looks, yes, not the innocent ones, or dressing on a tight top, hoping, you’ll gain his attention.
You swore you’d do ANYTHING to make him notice you.
And so you did…
You decided to get a little creative with your last project. You know you went too far by writing an erotic article for your English project. The writing was impressive, with your use of descriptive adjectives helping to bring the scenes to life.
And guess what? He did notice the lewd piece of project you submitted. Now that he’s called you to his office, you’re nervous. You’re sure the cold man is going to chastise you for your suggestive writing, but you can’t help but be turned on by just the thought of him.
You pace through the hallway that leads you to his office, with your heart pounding  unsure of what kind of reception you’ll get from him. Now it’s either you risk a bad grade, or you take the risk of him being completely disgusted by you. You brace yourself and knock the door before turning the knob.
You peek in through the door, and a pair of cold eyes already welcome you, as you make your way inside the office.
“Sit down.” He said coldly.
 You gulp nervously and take a seat, maintaining eye contact with the handsome professor. His strong manly scent invades your senses, and his dark aura makes you you even more nervous, which doesn’t help the situation. He pulls out some papers and places them in front of you as his eye pierce through your soul.
“Miss Y/N. This… this is an analysis of English romanticism. But you know that, don’t you?”  He says, pointing at your English ‘project’.
“Sweetheart I’ve been overlooking your shamefull behaviour in my class for far too long, I see that my tolerance is now embolding you.” He adds.
“Mr Jeon I-”
“Let me be VERY clear that is a university, not a strip club. It is wildly inappropriate of you to wear those short skirts to my class and it is even more inappropriate for you to to be spreading your legs during my lecture to demonstrate your ‘lack of undergarments’ to me.” He cut you off, looking pissed, only making your jaw drop in surprise.
“I thought I might be imagining things but then you come in and hand me THIS SMUT for my feedback.” he adds, glaring at you.
“I-It was piece of my creative writing, nothing more, Mr Jeon.” You add, as you gulp nervously, looking at him with the most innocent eyes. He narrows his eyes at you, and exhales heavily.
“You are an audacious little minx, aren’t you?”
Your lips form a thin line as you look down at the floor. “I swear, it was nothing like that, Mr Jeon.”
“Drop the act you little whore!” Jungkook warned as he slowly walks towards you.
“Tell me, what do youi think happens when you tease your professor all this semester? What do you think happens when you spend your eyes glazed over my lecture? Playing with the hem of your skirt, teasing your lips with the tip of your pen as if their inclination is to wrapped around something.” He adds, making his way towards you.
“What do you think that does to me, you naughty little slut? What do you think it makes me imagine doing things to you.” He spoke in a low murmur, brushing away a strand of hair from your face.
“N-nothing.” You replied, biting on your lower lip, continuing to avoid eye contact with him.
“NO REALLY, TELL ME. I am your English professor, sweetheart. And we use words here. BIG DESCRIPTIVE WORDS, full of imagery.” He orders, as he kept his gaze on you. “And look at me when i talk to you, slut!”
Your eyes nervously find the way to his as you reply in a soft murmur. “That you’d want to fuck me…?”
Your reply only makes him chuckle mockingly. “Youre so cute. Is that all you think I’d do to you? I’d just fuck you? HOW UNIMAGINITIVE..”
He picks up the pages of your article and starts to flip pages. You swore you saw an evil glint in his eyes. “Lets see what you’ve written in your papers, don’t we?”
“You don’t think i’d ‘desecrate’ your needy cunt until you loose your mind?”
“Or how about offer you the ‘sips of divinity’ with the weeping tip of my cock until you’re drunk with lust?” He looks at you, his lips forming an evil smirk. “So my aspiring little y/n, is that what you want me to do to you?”
Shit.
You stare into those eyes, unsure of what to say, though you’ve been practically dying for this. You just nibble nervously on you lips and try to speak but your words get caught in your throat. Your face is flushed with embarrassment.
“I can see you’re too flustered to answer, Y/N. That’s alright for now, we’ll help that innocent mouth of yours to catch up with your deliciously vulgar mind soon enough. In the mean time how about you use your body to show me what you want?”
“W-what do you mean, Mr jeon?” You're shocked by his request and struggle to process what he's asking you to do.
“Sit on my desk with your legs spread. NOW.” Jungkook commanded, as he studies your body, waiting for you to stand up.
You hesitantly get up but a strong arm grabs you by the wrists and pulls you towards him. He's much stronger than you'd realized, and he easily lifts you onto the table behind you.
Jungkook stands over you, his eyes blazing with desire, as he slips his hand under your skirt until you feel his fingers lingering over your pantie’s waistband. Your mind is hazy as you feel it slipping down your thighs, leaving you exposed, feeling extremely aroused as you hear him and in a husky voice.
“Go on. let’s see if you’re more than just a tease. finger yourself, sweetheart. I want to see how desperate that needy little cunt of yours is.”
Following his orders almost immediately, you desperately start to touch yourself, inserting your finger deep in your already wet cunt, shamelessly moaning over your own fingers. Your lewd noises only made Jungkook smirk.
“While you shamelessly dive your fingers knuckle deep in that luscious little pussy of yours, i’ll dive deeper into the precious dirty mind of yours. Let’s see what other silly little fantasies you’ve written here, why don’t we?”
He smirked as he pulled those papers out, yet again. He cleared is throat, and started reading out loud.
“He towered over me with an obscene grandiosity, like some great erotic deity. his turgid member eclipsed my vision as the sun does the sky.” He laughs mockingly, continuing
“And look at this…. I felt an exhorting rush of pleasure as he pushed greedily into me, and again, penetrating my inner walls.”
He sighs and looks at you. “You know, if he’s already pushed into you, how is he further penetrating? you know what? I don’t even have the patience for this one.” He throws away the sheets as he looks to deep into your eyes, sending shivers down your spine.
“Your over use of adjectives is TERRIBLY self indulging, you know?” He stated.
You stared at him like a statue, completely silent. You took a deep breath as you finally mustered up the courage to reply. “My apologies Mr Jeon, but i think my project was a—”
“Hey hey hey!” He cut you you in middle as his face darkens and and he stands up abruptly. “Did you just stop fingering yourself, little slut!?”
And before you could answer, he grabbed you by your thighs, and pulled you towards him, your dripping needy cunt in display.
“You’re such a good student but you really are useless in fucking yourself properly. Look, I’ll show you how to do it!”
You let out a shriek as he shoved his long fingers inside you without warning, fucking your wet pussy in a ruthless pace. Your body started to shiver because of the vibrating sensation and the satisfaction his fingers were providing you.
“Oh fuck!” You let out a muffled moan, as you gripped his shoulder with one hand, and balancing yourself in the top of the table from the other.
“You like that, whore?” Jungkook asked, watching your lewd face, with drool covering your chin, fucking your cunt as fast as ever. You nodded in response, only to earn a merciless pinch in your clit by him, causing you whimper.
“WORDS! I NEED WORDS YOU LITTLE FUCKTOY!” Jungkook growled, fastening the pace of his hands, causing you loose your mind.
“Y-y-yes, i like when you finger m-me like a d-dirty slut i am, Mr J-jeon.” You managed to answer, which was quite brave after the merciless treatment you were getting by Jungkook’s fingers.
Jungkook smirked as he pinched your nipple, and continues to finger fuck you. “This is how a stupid little whore like you should be fingered. Roughly. Relentlessly. Ruthlessly.”
Feeding his ego and his arousal only more, you whimpered shamelessly, your legs shaking, as you feel a familiar knot forming in your stomach. You bite down on your lower lip to suppress your moans, but the fingering did nothing to your favor.
“Mr Jeon i t-think i am close…”
Jungkook glanced at you, and seeing your ruined face with smudged mascara and lipstick, with drool covered in your chin, he knew you were close.
“You cum very easily don’t you? Such a slut.” He scoffs. “You don’t get to cum on my fingers. I want you to cum on my cock, like you imagined me, in your fanstasies.”
He pulls his fingers out, and you only frown in response.
“Cmon, be a good girl and clean my fingers for me. I will reward you with my ‘turgid member’ soon after.”
He shoved his dripping fingers on your mouth as you tasted yourself on his fingers, You sucked and licked his fingers clean, as if your life depended on it, earning a smirk from him.
“Good girl. Now get up, and bend over facing the desk, with your legs spread apart.” He commanded as he helped you get up, and placed you in the position. He grabbed your hips as he thrusted roughly into your pussy, and started moving in a ruthless pace.
“O-oh my g-god Mr Jeon” You whimpered in pain and pleasure, as your one hand gripped his shoulder tightly, and the other rested on the table, to keep your balance. Your lewd noises only fed his ego and arousal, as he smirked maintaining the pace.
“This is how fucking sluts like you deserve to be fucked! Until you’re all swollen. Until you’re all numb. Until you forget why were you even here in the first place. and oh….” He landed a harsh spank on your ass, making you gasp in pleasure.
“Until you start to treat your professor properly. Until you forget every word of your pompous vocabulary.”
“I-i promise to be good Mr J-jeon..” You manage to mumble, as he continued to brutally punish your needy cunt.
“Oh you will, little bitch! You will be a good little whore for your professor. That’s what you get for being such a tease.”
You throw your head back as the familiar feeling of a knot in your stomach starts to overtake your mind again. You knew you wont be able to last long. “I-i am close, Mr Jeon!” You moaned out, only to earn a stinging sensation of a spank in your ass again.
“Be a good fucking slut and wait for me to cum too. Can you do that Y/N? can you do that? Hmmm?”
You nodded as you closed your eyes, trying to control your orgasm but the feeling of pleasure with his strong thrusts makes it unable to do so. You try to hold yourself as much as you could, while he started to fondle with your breasts, teasing the tip of your nipples with his thumb, making it only harder for you.
“Fuck, you’re so beautiful, you know that Y/N? Good little slut.” He smashed his lips against yours, as he kissed you with all his might, his lips gradually trailing to your collarbone and then to your breasts. He started to suckle on your nipple, earning a loud moan from you.
“That’s it baby, be a good babygirl and cum for me. i am close too.” He declared, as he started to pinch your nipples, driving you over the edge with his manic pace.
“Fuck fuck fuck, i think i am cumming!”
“Go on little whore! milk my cock! show me how filthy you are. Cum for me!”
You feel a wave of pleasure wash over you, your toes curling and your vision blurry. Feeling you shudder and start to cum, Jungkook increases the intensity of his thrusts. You feel his member twitch as you knew he’s close. With one final thrust, he released his hot cum inside you, pulsing with each thrust. "Fuck," he grunts out between breaths.
His head rested against your shoulder, you both were breathing heavily, your sweaty bodies intertwined. After a few minutes, he pulled out of you with a wet pop, his cum dripping out of your walls. He grabbed a box of tissues from his drawer, and cleaned himself and your dripping, utterly spent core.
While you try to regain your composure, Jungkook helps you stand up and fix your clothes.
“T-thankyou professor.” Is all you could say, noticing his gesture.
“It’s alright, Miss Y/N.” Jungkook nodded, helping you to get on your feet. Just as you were about to leave, He called out.
“Miss Y/N, you know, whenever you need help, you can always approach me. You know where to find me…”
A red tint crept up on your face, as you nodded. “I will, professor. Have a good day” and exited his office.
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~ riri💋
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#syllabus of secrets
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johnpriceslamb · 1 year ago
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charles or Arthur with a coquette gf? like she’s always dressed in the prettiest frills and the girliest beauty products?
₊ ⊹ ೀ RDR boys w/ an extremely feminine gf ౨ৎ
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𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐇𝐔𝐑 𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐆𝐀𝐍
౨ৎ ˖ ࣪⊹ it wasn’t much of a shock for all of the camp members to hear that Arthur Morgan was dating [name]. What was a shock, however, was the fact that he was still interested in love and its affairs despite his experience with past lovers.
౨ৎ ˖ ࣪⊹ Arthur enjoys your femininity. Even if you were quite capable of doing things on your own, he’s quick to act on his feet and gently yet demandingly- take the task off your hands. He wouldn’t want his princess getting all dirty now would he? This statement can go with anything, whether it be cutting vegetables, cleaning the stables, etc
౨ৎ ˖ ࣪⊹ It makes him feel masculine- moreover the idea of saving a damsel in distress then it being demanding or infantilising, except.. you’re not in distress, and.. you don’t need saving from anything.
౨ৎ ˖ ࣪⊹ Your gentle nature makes him swoon. Even if he may not seem like he’s head over heels, just know this man would quite literally crumble beneath you, had you touched him in a way that’d be considered comforting.
౨ৎ ˖ ࣪⊹ He adored the way you dress. Pretty, frilly, lacy.. He can’t count how much pink-coloured dresses you’ve worn. When he first met you, he genuinely believed you were some kind of rich city girl with the pretty articles of clothing you always wore. Sometimes, he likes drawing you in your ribbon-tipped dresses and floral patterned tops.
౨ৎ ˖ ࣪⊹ If you happen to use some of your makeup for anything, hes quietly admiring you. He was raised traditionally, so he’d ask.. why? Simply you’d reply, ‘I like how it looks on me.’ He’d be even more confused. You were always pretty, so.. why.. At this point, he needed to stop thinking. He just wanted to stare at you.
౨ৎ ˖ ࣪⊹ Petnames he’d use for you would include: princess, sugar-plum, or doll. Elaborating for princess; because you look like a princess and you act like one, and for sugar plum- he’d think it’s a good fit since you were as sweet ‘n’ sugar-y as a plum! and for doll, simply because your facial structure reminds him of those porcelain dolls with those huge doe-y eyes.
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𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐋𝐄𝐒 𝐒𝐌𝐈𝐓𝐇
౨ৎ ˖ ࣪⊹ Okay, yeah. The lingering rumours of him and you dating becoming true was a bit of a shocker. The dynamic between you two was a major difference. Even despite through all of this, Charles simply took a liking for you because of your sweet nature and gentleness with animals.
౨ৎ ˖ ࣪⊹ If you happen to be physically shorter than him, he’d simply smile. He likes the way you could fit in his arms like a teacup kitty. Your weight meant nothing to him, he’s a very- emphasis on very, strong man. Though however, hes a bit reluctant in affection at first, considering it was his first time having a girlfriend, but soon caves in mainly because of your beady eyes looking up at him, practically begging to be squished alive.
౨ৎ ˖ ࣪⊹ When he first met you, he automatically thought of a baby puppy. Your appearance was too much alike of one, and he just needed to.. squish you. But alas, what made him even more attracted was your gentleness and sweetness as mentioned above.
౨ৎ ˖ ࣪⊹ Even if your looks were over a 10, he would still prefer your personality. It was what drew him to you in the first place. The first time he saw you taking care of Jack- oh boy did something inside of him snap. Your way with children was just too loving and too much for his heart to handle.
౨ৎ ˖ ࣪⊹ He doesn’t have much to comment about regarding your fashion style. He does think it’s cute though. He has taken quite a liking to the colour pink and ribbons when you entered in his life. If you happen to ask him for some help in regard to the strings of your pink corset needing to be tightened, he’s eager to help. His burly hands pull lightly yet firmly, since he’s a bit nervous in harming you. A gentle giant.
౨ৎ ˖ ࣪⊹ Charles doesn’t really have a comment on your use of beauty products either. What he does know, is that you enjoy it, and if you’re happy? He’s happy. He takes in mind the firm amount of pink-coloured products you use, when you both go to the city he’s quietly at the sidelines buying those products and hoping it doesn’t differ from the ones you were using.
౨ৎ ˖ ࣪⊹ Petnames he’d use would include: sweetheart, darling, pup. Sweetheart- because.. you literally have a sweet-heart and he thought it was very fitting. Darling was blurted out once from his mouth, and he saw how your beady eyes glimmered so he regularly started using the title darling. And finally, pup- it may seem lowkey cringe at first but pls hear me out. As mentioned before, when he thinks of you, he thinks of tiny puppies. Your eyes were alike of one, and you were as clingy as a baby pup too. So.. it was just mandatory to call you pup.
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poppy-in-the-woods · 10 months ago
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Sneak Peek
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Plot: Inspired by this post. Set during the lockdown, Noah's been ignoring you, and you're gonna make him pay.
Pairing: Noah x Female Reader
Word Count: 1534
Rating: Mature/Explicit
Tags: smut, teasing, sexting, oral (male receiving), double penetration, anal sex, somewhat public sex/exhibitionism.
Author's note: Some of you said you wanted a story about that idea, and before I knew what was happening, my fingers were furiously typing, and this is the result. Hope you enjoy it!
2020, the year the world came to a halt. You and your boyfriend, Noah, were trapped inside your shared apartment, and it was beginning to get kind of boring. There’s only so much stuff you can do inside before it gets repetitive. Even sex had started to get kind of predictable and uninteresting.
Lately, he had taken to streaming on Twitch, so that night, while he was streaming, you were on the living room, browsing the web on your laptop, desperately searching for a way to spice up your bedroom life. Then you found an article that seemed helpful and elaborated a plan.
Step one: buying some new risqué lingerie.
Step two: acquiring a new toy.
Step three: wait until they arrive and put on a show for him while he’s streaming.
Step four: success?
You managed to keep the packages a secret from him after they arrived, even when you had to thoroughly clean and disinfect the items, and wait a week after that so you could use them.
That evening he wasn’t looking at you. He hadn’t been looking at you for a while now, but you were going to make sure he’d look.
Noah had been streaming for half and hour now when he got the first text from you. Glancing at the screen he saw what you had written:
Babe [19:40]: I’m horny, come here.
He trailed off what he was saying while typing a response.
You [19:41]: I can’t, I’m streaming.
You didn’t stop at that, though, and he had to pause while going back and forth with you for a couple more messages.
Babe [19:43]: ☹ Pretty please? ☹
You [19:43]: I can’t right now.
Babe [19:45]: Your loss then.
He didn’t receive another message for ten minutes. The next one was a picture of your cleavage in a sexy red bra he was sure he hadn’t seen before. He smiled and pressed his lips together, but didn’t respond. He continued the stream as if nothing happened, though the picture was still on the back of his mind, like a splinter.
“No reply, bitch? Then it’s game on”, you said to yourself.
You snapped a few pictures in quick succession: a full body shot that showed your new lingerie set, one without the bra and completely nude.
You sent them, but he didn’t respond, and he didn’t even open the last message. Time to bring out the big guns.
Noah shifted uncomfortably on his chair. The increasingly sexy pictures you were sending were starting to make concentrating on the conversation pretty difficult. He didn’t open the last message, imagining what you would send next. He understood himself well enough to know that if he opened it, he wouldn’t be able to restrain himself, and he couldn’t leave his friends hanging now that the Mario Kart game was on, could he? No, sir, he was a man of his word and he was committed to finish.
But when his phone started buzzing insistently, he lost on purpose to look at it.
The nude picture wasn’t the worst (or was it the best?) you had for him in store.
Babe [20:23]: Wanna see my new boyfriend? Since you don’t pay any attention to me anymore, I had to get him.
The next message was a picture of a pretty realistic dildo, with a water bottle next to it, just for scale. Noah was a big guy, but that thing seemed bigger.
Babe [20:25]: How shall I name him? Noah II?
Next picture was the dildo, nested between your breasts, your tongue darting out to lick the tip.
He covered his mouth, stifling the unholy sound that was threatening to come out of his lips, shifting again on his chair. You surely had caught his attention, and he was starting to get hard. A new subscription popped in, distracting him. He lifted his eyes from the phone to look at it. The robotic voice read it before he could stop it:
UnsatisfiedGirlfriend06: Look at your phone, you coward.
And then, right after, a donation of ten dollars:
UnsatisfiedGirlfriend06: I dare you to ignore that. I double dare you. Bitch.
He looked at his phone. A new message had arrived. It was a video this time. No sound, just a close-up of your glistening pussy being penetrated by the dildo, going in and out, in and out, your fingers caressing your clit. Noah’s cock twitched in his pants, fully hard now. A new message popped in:
Babe [20:33]: Think you would be able to fill another hole? Or should I get another replacement for you?
He furiously typed a reply. If you wanted to play, he was going to play.
Your phone dinged.
Prettyface [20:35]: Replacement? Ha! You wish. Come here right now, and don’t forget to bring your new friend with you.
You looked at your laptop, with Twitch open on his streaming. It was still going on.
You [20:36]: But you’re still on streaming.
Prettyface [20:37]: Who’s the coward now?
You bit your lip hesitantly, looking at your laptop again. The camera showed that the door was not inside the frame, you just had to be sneaky and nobody would know you were there.
Noah didn’t turn around when he felt the door opening, but he backed his chair up a bit, opening some space under the desk. You crawled up to him, getting in that space. He pretended to drop his phone.
“Just a second, guys”, he said. Bending over, he put his face mere inches to yours. “You’ve been a very naughty girl”, he whispered. “To make up for it, you’re gonna suck me off while riding your new toy. And don’t you dare touch yourself or make a sound. Understood?” You eagerly nodded. “Good.”
He straightened himself, phone in hand, and left in on the desk. He lowered the seat and shifted once more, facilitating you pulling his pants and underwear down. His cock was already leaking some pre-cum, angry that it had been teased for so long.
You positioned yourself, guiding the toy back in your cunt, and once it was fully inside you, you took your boyfriend’s cock in your mouth, watching intently at how he reacted. Noah pressed his lips together, muffling a moan.
You kept sucking him, bouncing on the toy, using a hand to stimulate the rest of his shaft, and the other on his thigh to steady yourself. Thank god for microphones that filtered the unwanted noise, because even you were being quiet, there were still some sounds you couldn’t avoid producing, like the wet sound of your mouth over him, or the faint slaps every time you snapped your hips.
He abruptly closed the stream when he was about to cum. One of his hands flew to your head, keeping you in place while he came down your throat with a loud moan he was unable to suppress.
“Happy now?” he asked, still panting.
“Not yet. This was only a sneak peek”, you said, smiling. “I also bought a harness”, you informed him.
“What?” he said, confused.
“For Noah II. You always say you wished you had another cock to fuck my ass at the same time. Now you have it”, you explained.
He reopened the stream, acting like his Internet connection failed. He apologized to his friends, but said he was tired and was going to leave it there for the day.
He took your hand, helping you up and led you to the bedroom, where he proceeded to fuck you nice and hard doggy style, just like you wanted. Having him filling you up like that, in two holes at the same time, was a weird, albeit exciting, new feeling. Not so long after, your orgasm hit you harder than a demolition ball, leaving you exhausted. Noah still thrust a bit more, until he reached the climax too. You collapsed on the bed as soon as he was out of you.
“Okay, Noah II can stay”, he said, his breathing still shallow, his chest still rising rapidly, while lying next to you. “But don’t you ever dare to pull a stunt like that on me again.”
“Don’t ignore me for days at a time, and I won’t feel the need to”, you pointed out.
“Yeah, you’re right. This is pretty much my fault. I am sorry, babe, but I see you now”, he promised you.
“You better see me after what we just did”, you joked. You could almost still feel him inside you, like the ghost of a sensation.
“What about we shower, we clean everything, put on new sheets and go to bed early?” he suggested. “I want us to cuddle for a bit before sleeping.”
“Deal.”
“By the way, you looked so beautiful while I was fucking you, but next time I want to see your face, ok? The dildo goes in your ass, that way I can be on top” he whispered into your ear, once you were under the sheets again and his arm was around your rib cage, hand possessively grabbing one of your boobs.
“Missionary+!” you joked. “Fine by me, you know I love to see your pretty face while you come.”
“Same, babe, same.”
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madi-writes-things · 9 months ago
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Nobody Pt. 1
(C.Sturniolo X Reader)
Summary:
Chris and Y/N never seemed to get along, but sometimes help comes from the most unexpected places
Word Count: 1,009
TW: Cursing, SH (not in detail, but it definitely happens and is talked about), Blood, Violence, Hurt Comfort, Not edited, Bad stuff under the cut
A/N: Hey guys, just wanted to pop in t let you know that my DM’s are always open if you need someone to talk to. I use y writing as a safe and healthy outlets for the destructive thoughts, but reading i these sorts of things isn’t healthy for everyone… keep yourself safe.
-Madi <3
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Y/N’s POV
“”“”“”“”“”
“What do you want?” I ask when I see Chris walk into my room without knocking. I didn’t mean for it to sound so rude, but it just kind of happens when i talk to him. I don’t even remember why we hate each other, and i bet he doesn’t either… its just always been like this.
“Nick was too lazy to come upstairs…” he stared at me for a second before continuing. “We’re going out to film, do you want us to get You something for dinner?”
“I’ll just text nick what I want” as he leaves i wonder if he even cares. I only live with him because Nick and Matt begged me to come to LA with them after HighSchool. Nick and i have been best friends since eighth grade when I transferred to their district, and Matt has always been nice to me… but Chris never seemed to like me, eventually i stopped going out of my way to be nice to him.
I hear the door closes, quickly followed by the sound of Matt pulling out of the driveway.
“”“”“”“”“”
How did i get here? Nick would be so mad at me… he would never say it, but i know it’s frustrating when people you care about keep making the same mistakes. I look down at my thighs, realizing that I can’t even see the individual cuts through the blood. I should have just woken Nick up, if i had I wouldn’t be in this situation.
The tears have mostly stopped flowing at this point, and the adrenaline is dying down. The weight of what I’ve done starts to set in. I need to clean this up, I need to get help, I need to get Nic-
“What the fuck” as I look up I’m met with the icy blue eyes of Chris. Before I can process what is happening he is yanking the blade out of my hand and flushing it down the toilet. “Y/N, look at me… what happened?” Seeing the panic in his eyes makes me feel bad, he was never supposed to have to deal with this.
“Can you please get the first aid kit from under my bed?” The words roll off my tongue with ease. He just stared at me with fear in his eyes. “I’ll be fine, just go” with that he turned around and went to my room.
Chris returned a few minutes later, with my large first aid kit, and a gas station bag in his hands. I had been desperately trying to clean up some of the mess with toilet paper, but I was mostly failing. “Can you please sit on the side of the bathtub?” I stared up at him in confusion. “Please Y/N… please just let me help you clean up”
“do you even know what you’re doing?” His response consisted of turning his phone to face me, an article on how to clean self harm wounds staring back at me. “Fine…” I did what he asked and positioned myself on the side of the tub.
Chris started by wiping up what I had missed from the floor, quickly moving to sit in between my legs. As he started cleaning me up, I realized how intimate our position was. He wouldn’t look me in the eyes, but I could tell that he was holding back tears. After he stopped all the bleeding, and cleaned off the wounds he just stared for a second… and it broke me.
the tears started streaming down my face again, nothing could’ve stopped them. “Don’t tell Nick… he can’t know I’m doing this again.”
He finally looked up at me, taking a breath to steady himself before speaking. “again?” I just stared. He finished up what he was doing in silence before finally speaking. “Ok… I won’t tell Nick, as long as you let me help you with this”
“I don’t need help Chris.” He didn’t respond, causing me to panic. “Fine, but nobody can know about this.” He held out his pinky, I locked mine into his… an unspoken promise between us.
Chris disposed of any evidence, before carrying me to his room. I was too tired to protest, and it’s not like anyone would be up early enough to notice. He gave me a pair of sweats, and climbed into the bed with me.
“”“”“”“”“”
I woke up to Chris laying practically on top of me, his arm wrapped tightly around my waist. For a moment I didn’t mind… until I saw the time.
“wake up!” I shook him lightly, his eyes flutter open before widening at the position he was currently in. “I need to get up, me and Nick are supposed to go get breakfast for a video… he can’t know that I slept in here.” Chris quickly rolled off of me, and I rushed down the stairs.
As I made my way into the living room I could see Matt and Nick, sitting in silence. They looked at me at the same time, just as Chris came down the stairs to join us.
“Why are you wearing his sweat pants?” Nick stared daggers into my soul. “They must’ve gotten mixed up in the laundry…” I hated lying to my best friend, but he couldn’t know.
“I see… what’s your fake excuse for being in his bed this morning?” I looked at Chris quickly as we walked closer to his brothers. He met my eyes, unsure of what the right decision was.
“please Chris…” I whispered. “You promised me you wouldn’t tell him.” I see Chris make a decision, and before I can stop him he opens his mouth.
“We slept together.” He looked at me, apologizing with his eyes. I look between Nick and Matt, trying to judge their reactions. While this wasn’t ideal, it was better than the truth… until I saw Nick get up.
in a matter of seconds Nick had punched Chris across the face. After flexing his hand, he looked at me with nothing but hatred before walking away.
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wingzie · 7 months ago
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Speaking to the media as a UK Army
Earlier in the week I mentioned in a local group chat that the UK’s attitude towards BTS and KPOP overall had changed. It felt like everyone was excited during Dynamite and then interest was quickly lost. Things got worse after the Festa Dinner. Because of previous experiences with a certain boy group, it was reported that the members would never return. These stories were soon edited, but it was obvious that there was a certain bias against the members now. The previous hype posts for them and their new releases were less present. Instead, we have gone back to having to do everything ourselves during chapter 2. 
As I am sure many of you are aware, it has already been a tough week for UK Army. We found out that MUSE had inclusions, making it harder to chart. We got backlash from solos for something that wasn’t our fault and the emails we sent were ignored or received weird responses. We are a resilient bunch though and we continued to promote and gain more funds. I figured that things for us couldn’t get any worse. I was wrong. On Sunday I was sent an article from the BBC by a friend. They asked my thoughts on it and I quickly understood why. Something else worried me though. I recognized the journalist. He is someone that we have history with. He kindly wrote about Persona and Wembley in 2019, but he also sneaked in a line that he thought that the members were miming through the concert. At the time, a few Army tried talking to him about it on Twitter and he was receptive to the feedback. I decided to try and do the same and to do it privately in the DM’s. Something which he told me himself that he appreciated. I spent a good amount of time drafting my message. I made sure that it was polite, but also included the reasons why a certain part of the article was troublesome. During this, a friend of mine also made a detailed thread correcting the misinformation. Once the message was sent, I went on with my day and waited to see if I would get a reply. Much to my surprise, I did indeed get a reply. I don’t have consent to share our messages, but we replied back and forth a few times and he said that he would look into changing the wording. I quoted my friend's thread, explaining that I messaged him privately and that he was working on it. As someone who posts about Jikook on a regular basis, you could say that I am used to getting unnecessary abuse. However, I was not fully prepared for the response to this. As more hours passed and there weren't any changes made, the more anger and hate I received. This greatly confused me, as I wasn’t the one who wrote the article itself. I just wanted to try and help and we had to be patient. 
A day later the edit was made. I messaged the journalist again to thank him and he responded back, explaining that the reason it took so long was because there was a debate internally about the best way to respond. I then shared on TL about the edit being made. It wasn’t the best edit, but that’s all we got. Unfortunately, the hate towards myself increased even more. Some said that the article was my fault, that I failed BTS or that I was an anti. Plus a few words that I daren’t repeat here. Some saw what was happening to me and sent kind support. These included people who I have never interacted with before and I will be forever thankful for that. I also spoke with some about the response of the general public towards the article. The article was heavily advertised so there were discussions in relation to Seventeen going to Glastonbury. This hasn’t been done before so some were curious and some were confused. It was interesting to see the reaction to it, even if it was poorly written. I was personally exhausted though.
This whole ordeal started on Sunday and I woke up on Tuesday still feeling a bit wary of receiving more hate. On top of this, I had gained around 300 more followers from all of this and didn’t know how they would react once I started posting Jikook. If I’m honest, I felt a bit uncomfortable with everything going on. What did shock me though, is that some of these new followers were going through my “pinned” post and liking the threads on Jikook. It made me a bit self-conscious, but I didn’t want it to overcome me and Jimin’s promotions though, so I came up with an idea. 
July is my Birthday month and to celebrate I am doing a giveaway for other UK Army. This gives them a chance to get any albums they currently do not own and to try and boost sales for Jimin at the same time. The UK fanbase don’t really want to be associated with me because of my account, so I decided to do everything myself. To help boost morale, positivity and the community spirit that Army has. Overall, I do not regret reaching out to the journalist. He was rather difficult to speak to, but an edit deserved to be made for the way in which it was written. I appreciate the discussion we had and those that supported me. My focus will continue to be on Chapter 2. Look after yourselves and each other. 
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toffee-and-tandoori · 6 months ago
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i’ve been reflecting on that tweet/article about esteban’s switch to williams being blocked by alpine over the course of this hungarian gp weekend and i am truly disgusted and angered at what alpine has been trying to pull with esteban this year. let me explain. and buckle in because it’s gonna be a long one.
[disclaimer i will not be touching on the logan and james vowles of it all in this post but i will say this: i wish him the best in his career and personally i would just let him finish out the season without worrying about his seat being taken at any moment.]
[also i want to use this bit to sincerely thank @macaiv @promiscuousasexual @lafaerie @pinkcarsupremacy @oconist and @starlightiing for their help with source gathering and proofreading - i truly could not have done this without you <3]
first of all, i think it’s important to clear up the misconception that esteban was “fired” by alpine. as the original statement reads, alpine and esteban AGREED to part ways for 2025. let’s also remember there were claims even before alpine launched their 2024 livery that BOTH esteban and pierre were looking for alternatives. and of course, esteban was quick to point out his mercedes ties. i think it’s clear that esteban was not planning to stay with alpine after 2024. but don’t feel like you’re at fault for thinking that esteban was “fired” - that’s exactly what alpine wanted you to think. they have never corrected this assumption because it benefits them.
now let me be clear here and say that esteban was at fault for monaco 2024 - he absolutely shouldn’t have done what he did and accordingly he took responsibility for it. however, the magnitude of vitriol directed at esteban for a lap one error (which can and does happen to any driver) was excessive and disproportionate. first of all let’s remember that in that exact same race, kevin literally crashed out himself, his teammate, AND checo but was completely overlooked by the public. and far more importantly, no one deserves death threats, racism, and xenophobia. it got to the point that he published a statement on instagram asking for the hate to stop and if you know esteban, you know that he does not speak up for himself like that. ever. 
and how did alpine respond to the hate directed at their driver after monaco? three blue heart emojis. no statement condemning the hate. no statement extending their support for esteban. just three blue heart emojis. oh and the formal announcement of esteban leaving the team, propelling a new wave of hate. convenient timing for alpine, don’t you think?
to fully dissect how the false narrative about how “esteban is a horrible teammate” and is “always hyperfocused on beating and crashing into them” and how “no one on the grid likes him” is a product of racism (due to his algerian heritage), classism (due to his family’s working class status), and f1 media needing a “villain” to editorialize the spectacle of f1, i would need a whole other post. not to mention that esteban has been paired with very accomplished drivers throughout his whole career and has performed roughly equal to all of them; unfortunately for him almost all of esteban’s teammates are drivers who are the primary representative of their country and therefore have very large and very nationalistic fanbases, which has typically amplified the hate. but i’ll say this. of the clashes with his previous teammates, esteban was to blame for two of them in the past seven years [baku 2017 and monaco 2024]; checo was recognized to be responsible for three [belgium 2017, hungary 2017, and singapore 2018]; fernando was recognized to be responsible for one [brazil 2022] ; pierre was recognized to be responsible for one[australia 2023, a racing incident but esteban is known to have vouched for pierre in the stewards meeting so he could avoid a race ban]. individuals on the grid who are said to currently have a “strong dislike” for esteban have had kind words for him in recent years: fernando and max. esteban also is clearly friendly with a number of the drivers: lance, mick, jack, oscar, nico, kevin, lewis, fernando, max, charles, guanyu.
this narrative began in 2018 and has only grown with the explosion in f1’s popularity in large part due to “drive to survive”, a highly-editorialized show that has capitalized on this perception of esteban in their most recent season. and although esteban has been affiliated with lotus/renault/alpine since 2010 (literally since he was 14 years old - about half of his life), they have never once tried to publicly show support for their driver in response to hate. their social media pages have been filled pure hatred directed at esteban for years yet they have never said a thing. almost all of alpine’s team principals and executives have never truly given esteban the respect he deserves: rossi, szafnauer, famin. yet esteban has largely stayed silent through it all. 
but when esteban finally chose to prioritize himself over the team he has been loyal to for over a decade, alpine chose to weaponize the narrative they allowed to take root.
those may remember a claim that james vowles was not considering esteban for a williams seat because of his “history of aggressive behavior against his teammates”. there was never a direct quote from james saying this but we do have video of him defending esteban after monaco. 
but now this tweet/article suggests that both james vowles and esteban were interested in a move to williams that was blocked by alpine because they were concerned that esteban could help williams in the constructors. it was initially assumed that alpine wanted this move to happen because they wanted to get rid of esteban so badly. so why didn’t they correct this assumption? why did they release the formal announcement of esteban leaving the team when the hate reached heights not previously seen before? because they knew it would weaken esteban’s position in the driver’s market. and even still, esteban has been actively sought out by haas and audi in addition to williams. he has been praised by many team principals of past and present: james vowles, fred vasseur, toto wolff, eddie jordan. esteban remains a well-respected driver in the paddock...much to alpine’s chagrin. 
i truly believe that alpine tried to take advantage of esteban’s reputation (a reputation that they have never tried to mitigate) to try to fuck over his market value...and failed. they effectively attempted to sabotage esteban's future in f1. it is truly deplorable of them to do this, especially with the driver who’s been with the project for 14 years and is their first (and so far only) victor in their current iteration. and if you think that it would be truly horrendous of a team to do that to one of their drivers, remember that alpine has done this to fernando, to oscar, and to kevin. not to mention the disrespect they showed to jolyon and to alain.
the bwt alpine f1 team has truly lost all of my respect with what they’ve done this year. and they barely had any of it in the first place.
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