#I don’t believe in coffee theory
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Almond and Barley…
Almond syrup is also known as Orgeat syrup(which most of the time now includes other things like orange blossom water or rose water). It used to be made with barley and almond blend. Thats where the name comes from.
“The word “orgeat” has its origins in the French word for barley, as the original syrup was a mix of barley and almonds.”
Where does barley come in Good Omens specifically with Aziraphale?
#good omens#good omens 2#crowley#aziraphale#ineffable husbands#good omens spoilers#go2#good omens speculation#david tennant#michael sheen#neil gaiman#theory#good omens meta#good omens thoughts#first I don’t really believe in the coffee theory#the deep dive really started with Aziraphale’s magic words but#it really kept going with almond syrup#it just feels specific(especially with the biblical context and reasoning)
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This is my theory about Crowleys past life as an angel!!
We got a lot of signs that Crowley used to be at least an important angel in heaven.
Here for example we see how he can open Gabriel’s file in heaven. Muriel explains that you’d have to be either a throne, a Dominion, or above. That is why she couldn’t open it, since she’s in 37th class and she doesn’t have the password. When Crowley then opens it he explains to Muriel that he hasn’t always been a demon and that they never change their passwords. That must mean he was an important angel, since he had the password. That means he was either a throne, a Dominion or above when he was still an angel. Maybe he even was the archangel?
We’ve also gotten signs that he didn’t like being in heaven. He doesn’t like hell either and he doesn’t want to be on either side but there’s something different about his past with heaven. I think the reason he doesn’t like heaven is because of something he experienced when he was an angel, or as I said before, maybe archangel.
In this scene when Aziraphale is trying to get Crowley to rule heaven with him Crowley doesn’t want to at all as we all know. I know the reason is that he thinks hell and heaven is toxic and he wants them to be on their own side but I think there’s something more to it. That line he said in the gifs really made curious. I think the reason he said he thinks he understand much better than Aziraphale is because he has experienced being an archangel himself. And I think the experience was bad for him. I believe that’s why he talks how toxic both heaven and hell are and he knows it’s even more toxic to be an archangel. I don’t see why he would say that if he hadn’t experienced it himself.
Call me crazy, but I also think he used to know Metatron in some way before, and if he was an archangel it was probably through that. I also think that something happened that made Metatron hate Crowley. Probably right before the fall or the reason why he fell. It could also just be because of Crowley being a demon now but he’s not acting like that to any other demon and they’ve fallen as well. We get a few signs that Metatron doesn’t like Crowley and he wouldn’t have a reason unless he knew him when he was an angel.
This for example, which is probably a reference to the questions Crowley asked that made him a demon.
Now over to when he offered Aziraphale to be an archangel. I don’t believe in the coffee theory but I’m sure he has some kind of plan with it. Obviously the coffee has something to do with it but I don’t the it’s the reason everyone else thinks. I believe that he wanted to separate Crowley and Aziraphale because he doesn’t want an angel associating with a demon, especially Crowley I think.
Just look and his expression towards Crowley before leaving to tell Aziraphale the news. He has some kind of beef going on with Crowley. I think Metatron knew that Crowley wouldn’t want to go to heaven. And that’s why he offered Aziraphale to make him an angel, he was sure that Crowley wouldn’t allow it. On the scene after Crowley has left and Metatron enters the bookshop to take Aziraphale with him he says “how did he take it” which is a weird sentence. It sounds like something you would ask of you knew the answer was that he took it bad. Otherwise he would’ve said “what did he say” or something.
So I think Crowley used to be an archangel and Metatron has some kind of beef with him and doesn’t like him. Also Metatron says something that made me curious in the last episode when we get to see the trial heaven had against Gabriel when they decided that he wasn’t going to be an archangel anymore. When Gabriel first thought he was going to hell Metatron answered he wasn’t. Metatron also said “For one prince of heaven to be cast out into the outer darkness makes it a good story. For it to happen twice makes it look like there is some kind of institutional problem” obviously Gabriel would be the second Prince of heaven to fall. And i’m guessing the first one was Lucifer. But we do know Crowley fell at the same time as Lucifer and that he was going against god with him before they fell. The reason he went with Lucifer is probably that Metatron didn’t listen to his questions/suggestions. (I’m guessing he asked Metatron since Metatron is the voice of god). So that could also be the why Metatron doesn’t like him btw.
I would also just like to point out, I do not think that he was a supreme archangel, since that was probably Lucifer. I just think he was an archangel, like for example Michael and Uriel.
That was my theory, let me know what u guys think.
#good omens#go#go2#good omens season 2#good omens 2#go2 spoilers#good omens spoilers#Theory#Crowley#aziraphale#Metatron#archangel crowley#ineffable husbands#i don’t believe in the coffee theory#david tennant#Michael sheen#neil gaiman#gayshow#the fall#go2 ending#Crowley is a former archangel theory
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Looks like that video is about a month & a half after The Trade and trevors broken ankle 😣
re: this video… anon 😭 i had suspicions but it is so much worse to have them confirmed that really was like. trevor’s first Public Appearance without jamie AND post-broken ankle which is traumatic in and of itself no wonder every beat reporter was like ‘oh yeah trevor’s just devastated’
wouldn’t you be miserable too if your best friend just got traded and your body betrayed you and what if it was maybe all your fault!!!
#bestie thank you so much for fact-checking me 🙏🙏🥰🥰 i love when y’all come in my inbox & answer the questions i yell into the void of my tag#we are Suffering about trevor TOGETHER in this house. if i scrolled all the way to the bottom of my drafts i think i could find even more#heartbreaking content from before The Trade but we don’t need to suffer that much otherwise the penguin cup of tea is really irish coffee#confirms ALL of my theories about miserable trevor leaning into mason for comfort because in some universes that’s THEIR boyfriend who left#liv in the replies#trevor zegras#mason mctavish#need to go lay on the floor about this one folks. do you think trevor said he would only do it if mason came if he could sit next to mason#right at the end where people were rushing out not stopping to talk tired by the end of the line and not even thinking just to guarantee he#wouldn’t get asked anything because he still has a hard time believing it’s real he keeps thinking jamie’ll be there especially w/his ankle#i’m sure he doesn’t have a great time with stairs so he probably will nap on the couch sometimes and that moment right when he first wakes#up to the bang of the door and he doesn’t quite know he’s awake yet and he thinks it’s jamie coming in? heartbreaker right there bud. sorry#ALSO because I can’t say it and leave it alone I almost put that last bit strictly in the tags but like. there’s gotta be some part of#trevor that knows it’s nothing to do with him but still naïvely believes that if he’d maybe been there if he hadn’t been injured things#could have worked out differently if he’d been there and it’s his fault his ankle broke and do you remember all the interviews jamie gave#about how you never think you’ll be traded and how strange it is to be moving and now i need you to take that naïveté times 1000 for trevor#who of course he never even pictures jamie leaving they were building the core together!!! why would they ever get rid of him!! and if only#trevor had been there to show how important jamie was. what would he have done? literally nothing but that does not stop the emotional guil#from enveloping trevor like a rain cloud and making him sit in mason’s apartment with ice cream bowl in hand. holistic treatment l
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Maybe I’m slow on the draw and everyone connected these dots already, or maybe I’ve just realized how important Jim’s arc is to Aziraphale’s decision at the end of season two.
Not only does Aziraphale meet a completely new, kind person in Gabriel without his memories, but when he finally regains them, he doesn’t revert to his cold self. Gabriel is a reformed person, finally having formed his own opinions outside of the strict guise of Heaven.
And Aziraphale finally realizes that even the worst of the angels have the ability to change.
The happy couple being allowed to disappear and live their eternity together is the proof he needs to believe the others may be swayed as well.
And the Metatron’s timing in all of this is horrifically perfect, catching Zira in a vulnerability that has just formed, and pulling him right back into the cycle of abuse.
#good omens#good omens season two#gos2#gos2 spoilers#good omens spoilers#as much as the coffee theory is nice for coping I genuinely believe zira made this decision#and though it’s not a good decision… all signs in this season and it’s flashbacks point to his religious trauma not at all being resolved#and I’m so so hoping for it to be a big focus in season three#it’s the perfect opportunity to explore the queer themes already in the narrative with trauma that so often afflicts queer people#just not in the manner of homophobia like in real life. it’s more a parallel through this universe’s lends#honestly the complete lack of homophobia is so delightful and allows every character to face deeper conflicts within the self#story of oppression told with an allegory my beloved#(as long as it’s on purpose and us fans don’t have to trip over ourselves to make it a queer narrative of course)#(there’s so much I could cough at and call out with that but you get the idea lol)
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NOT THE COFFEE
#I don’t believe in coffee theory but you know METATRON is still a dick so anything goes#good omens#El rewatches good omens
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as if he needed holy water to hurt him anyway 🫥🫥🫥🫥🫥🫥🫥🫥🫥
Hello Mr Gaiman. I’m not sure that you’ll answer this question but it least I can say that I’ve tried.
So I’ve been rewatching season 2 today and I noticed that there was no holy water during the battle in the bookshop. Aziraphale can’t make any water holy? Or is he too good to use it against demons?
Why would he have holy water in his bookshop? It could hurt Crowley.
#sorry idk why i said that#sorry not sorry#before anyone crucifies me i defend aziraphale’s actions#I don’t believe in coffee theory i believe in complex characterization#good omens#go2 spoilers#gos2 spoilers
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god knew i would be too powerful so he decided to make me hyperfixated on medias with the most media illiterate fans
#good omens#i love you guys but a lot of y’all took “maybe the curtains were just fucking blue” too literally#no megatron didn’t spike aripripazol’s coffee#why is that even a theory#seriously#he isn’t a “soft boi” either what is up with yall#this is also aimed at ghost fans#if you genuinely think terzo is gonna be brought back then you are no better than the coffee theory believers#don’t take this too seriously i just like to complain about pointless things
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All I could think while drawing Nami was, “Wouldn’t you like to know, weatherboy?” And, of course, with Robin I was thinking, “save a horse… 🥵”
Design Notes and other opining below the cut:
For Nami, I wanted to go for a mix of cocky Jersey mafia newbie and surfer boy. I like to think that some of the horrendous outfit choices that Sanji makes (especially in the movies) were actually picked out by Nami. She’s the shopper!!! But yeah, the vibrant swim trunks and graphic tees just scream Nami. I also wanted to put him in a wetsuit/rash guard because I think that’s a sexy look so sue me if you hate it. You cannot argue with me that Nami doesn’t wear swimsuits as clothes.
He’s toned but not as muscular as Robin or Luffy (for example) because he isn’t a front-line fighter, I want him to maintain the same kind of role that Nami has in the animanga. He’s the best navigator in the world!! I couldn’t decide if I wanted to change the violent tendencies that Nami has, but ultimately I think he’d still give the more deserving members of the crew a healthy wallop (although I might portray it more cartoonishly). Boy Piece!Nami still grew up under Arlong’s authority so he spent a lot of his childhood walking on eggshells to protect his village and his brother, Nojiko, so I think he never really got to learn “you’re not supposed to hit people just because they frustrate you” lesson. I gave him a shark-tooth necklace because surely Arlong had a few loose teeth to spare once Luffy took her down. Victory spoils LOL
If he can get the girls to stop wrestling and sit down quietly for a while, he likes to host card games (with betting, of course) or watch the clouds while sipping whatever fruity cocktail Sanji whips up. I believe that Canon!Nami is a total lesbian, and I can’t possibly envision a Nami who doesn’t like women so Boy Piece!Nami is bi. I am, of course, a Namivivi truther and Vivi is also a man in this AU. I don’t hate Sanami within this dynamic though… lots to think about.
Okay!!! All-shipper mindset aside, let’s talk Robin. I gave him long hair because 1) it’s hot and 2) I think it makes him look like Dragon. Yeahhh, I subscribe to the Luffy and Robin are half-siblings theory because I think it’s funny and makes some sense. Crocodile is 100% Luffy’s Mom in this AU and I think Robin knows it LOL
For his outfits, I wanted to lean a bit more Indiana Jones where I could; he’s still primarily cowboy inspired though. For the main look, I went with the Skypeia color palette hehe, I think Robin looks good in yellow. I did some flower-petal shaped color blocking on his chaps because I think it’s cute and subtle. I really love that the powers of the Hana-Hana-no-mi are like… unexpected for a “flower flower” fruit and I think Robin would be more aware that juxtaposition as a guy. You might also be wondering about the gloves and I initially just had it for his cowboy look but I decided to put them on all the outfits up until the events of Enies Lobby. Canon!Robin has a really difficult childhood and I think it’s exacerbated by the fact that she’s a girl on her own. If Robin was a boy, he’d probably have an easier time living on his own but would be a lot less emotionally open. All of these elements combine to make him want that physical barrier between his real hands and the world. Once he can trust that the Strawhats will always be there for him, he’s more willing to be more physically open.
I also think it’d be cute if he was much more of a coffee drinker :3c I see Canon!Robin as a connoisseur who likes a well-brewed espresso but Boy Piece!Robin needs a cup of joe (no matter its quality) every chance he can get. So I drew him with his special #1 ARCHAEOLOGIST mug.
It would make me so happy if you left your thoughts in the tags or replies!! Even if you hate everything about them, I just really like engagement hahaha. I’m thinking girl Usopp is next despite the poll results because she’s on my mind rn (don’t hold me to this, LOL I’m fickle). I’m making these for fun so I just wanna make designs in the order that interests me the most. Check out the tag “girl piece” on my blog to see all the genderbends I have so far. And happy pride!!!
#one piece#girl piece#cat burglar nami#nico robin#boy nami#boy robin#nami#robin#east blue#enies lobby#alabasta#namivivi#sanami#boy piece#character design#one piece fanart#op fanart#digital art#luffy#girl piece original design
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Give me coffee or give me death
I don’t believe in the Coffee Theory per se. I think the whole ‘drugged coffee’ thing is a bit too spy movie to be in Good Omens, but- BUT
The fact that that coffee is in the intro;
The fact that you can see The Metatron in line, waiting for his turn, BEFORE he gets into the coffee shop, like if he was an out of place detail you were supposed to notice and ask yourself questions about;
The very long and apparently superfluous dialogue about choosing coffee instead of death, and how “predictable” that is;
The fact that for two seasons we NEVER see Aziraphale drinking coffee, like that’s not his thing, that’s Crowley’s thing, he’s the “six-espressos-in-a-big-cup” guy, Aziraphale drinks hot chocolate or tea, and we have to assume The Metatron knows that, because he went into that coffee shop and asked for such a specific thing that makes you think that’s something he chose specifically for Aziraphale (who still doesn’t drink coffee, so why?).
He looks reluctant at the idea of drinking it at first
but he accepts it out of courtesy, I presume, and this is the face he makes when he tries it:
Even he is surprised he liked it. He’s on Earth since 6000 years, so we can assume he tried coffee before and chose not to drink it. He’s either lying about liking it out of courtesy, or this is the only coffee he’s ever enjoyed, and The Metatron knew he would have liked it and chose that coffee on purpose.
So, the coffee is either important as a physical element, as something that had an actual effect on Aziraphale and changed him somehow, or it’s important in its metaphorical significance. In Good Omens almost everything is metaphorical, so the second option is very likely.
Now, what’s the coffee supposed to represent? The only certain thing we know, is that the coffee is something The Metatron offers Aziraphale, so it probably represents the offer he’s about to make.
Considering the whole “Does anyone ever choose death?” conversation, considering the fact that we don’t know how the conversation between The Metatron and Aziraphale went, we only know the version Aziraphale chooses to tell Crowley, and considering The Metatron is the angel that decided to erase Gabriel’s memory just because he said “nah” about Armageddon 2.0 and Aziraphale is the traitor, the one who stopped the Armageddon 1.0, so The Metatron has no reason to be friendly with him, my question is:
Did Aziraphale actually have a choice?
Or the alternative was worse than leaving Crowley and the bookshop?
Was it actually coffee or death?
Imago
#good omens#good omens 2#good omens spoilers#aziraphale#the metatron#coffee theory#good omens theory#good omens meta#media analysis
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black bean juice ahahahaha
Screw you, I’ll drink it straight from the can! No roasting necessary.
The forbidden bean juice will sate the void, you watch!
#this is a joke#I don’t drink coffee#I’m an energy drink btch#catholic memes#christian memes#not to get personal on a funny post#but I am absolutely doing that here in the tags#I appreciate the ‘God-shaped hole’ theory?? analogy??#allegory???#even though I’ve never been able to find peace with God#like it’s such a disconnect to believe something but know it won’t come true for you
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🍓boyfie ZB1 ft. bfs lil bro!yujin
🧺 lowercase intended // cw: other than a very small bit of swearing, none. // sry no wc im too lazy😭
🍰 a/n: sorry if this is quite messy, i usually open this draft at 3 am so my brains all fucked up n shit. yujin is included but he is not your bf bc i won’t write romantic stuff abt a minor due to my age ty.
bf!jiwoong who will always take photos of you and take selfies with you on his iphone with a blurry ass front cam :((. whether you’re on a date, just at home, running errands, on a walk— hes going to snap a pic. when you’re sitting beside each other sometimes he just lays his head on your shoulder or kisses your cheek and takes a selfie. just.. bf!jiwoong who is the complete embodiment of “take a pic, it’ll last longer.”
bf!zhang hao who is your other half of the olive theory. if ever there is an ingredient or food that you don’t like on your plate, all you need to do is ask hao because he’s probably going to accept. OR bf!hao who orders your usual order when you try something new, just incase you end up not liking the taste of your own order. for example: you want to try a new kind of coffee. hao always asks you if you’re sure before you try something new. when you confirm, he orders the usual style of coffee that you order. if you end up liking it… hao is happy that you like it and he doesn’t mind drinking your usual. but if it’s the opposite, he offers you his order— your usual, and takes the new drink off your hands and drinks that instead. AURGSHD i hope you guys get what i mean!!
bf!hanbin who has boyfie senses. he just knows everything about you, that’s how observant he is. he makes sure to observe a lot of the things you do, like, dislike, etc. he knows what type of hair tie you like, what glasses frame you prefer, how you fidget when you’re feeling anxious or nervous, everything. sometimes when you’re not feeling well and haven’t told hanbin yet, you’ll get a message from him asking how you are or if you’re feeling okay. it stuns you every single time he does it. it’s like he has connections to the system of your brain.
bf!matthew who is always down to try everything with you. i feel like matthew is very adventurous. if you want to try camping, he’ll do it with you and explain everything you need. if you want to try some new food, he’ll help you look for the place to try it. he’s always the one who takes and does your firsts with you. he supports your curiosity (most of the time) because he believes that it’s always good to try something new. basically just bf!matt who is your partner in everything.
bf!taerae who loves to sing for you, and would probably sing for you everyday if you’d just ask. taerae has such a beautiful singing voice, his voice is like pouring rays of sunshine, clouds, and rainbows into your ears. if you are having a hard time sleeping, all you need to do is lay against his chest and ask him to sing for you. the combination of his voice and his heartbeat is the perfect lullaby for you. when you’re on a road trip, a carpool session is essential! pro tip: do not challenge taerae with a karaoke battle, you WILL lose :P.
bf!ricky who WILL pay for everything. he does not let you take out your wallet, it’s always his treat. whether you’re on a restaurant date, shopping date, anything! he. will. pay! the only time ricky lets it slide is when you do errands together, but even then he still offers to pay. always expect “just because” gifts from ricky as well. because i do believe that he has a good eye, meaning that he knows what you like. so if he sees a piece that he thinks you’d look good in, he will 100% get it for you.
bf!gyuvin who loves couple trends!!!! i believe yes yes! matching outfits, tiktok dances, matching pfps, couple poses, everything!!! imagine going to the amusement park with gyuvin. you’ll have matching outfits on, you’ll do tiktok dances (ex: dsico by surf curse), take pics at the photobooth if they have it, take couple pics. every single person around you gets a slap in the face abt how single they are when they see you two. (i have another post abt gyuvin, also hcs/thoughts: thoughts abt bf!gyuvin)
bf!gunwook who props you up on the bathroom counter and stands in between your legs to do your skincare… when you’re feeling tired but you need to do your skincare, he’ll literally just do it for you. gunwook is strong enough to pick you up, put you on the counter, and then start doing your skincare. he doesn’t even need to ask you what goes first, next, and last. he has your skincare routine memorized!!!! all you need to do is just sit there and try to not fall asleep on the spot as he does his thing. you can trust that he knows your usual routine, your routine when you breakout, etc. skincare is something you and gunwook bond over as a couple. he loves taking care of you as much as he loves doing it for himself.
bf’s little bro!yujin who 100% loves u more than his brother 😎. when his brother takes you home he probably doesn’t approach you first, so you had to reach out. when he does get to know you, he thinks you’re pretty cool. he asks your boyfriend often if he’s taking you with him when they go out, since sometimes you do join in for some of their family outings. expect to be the in the middle of their bickering sometimes, siblings will be siblings. i think you’ll get to a point where yujin trusts you enough to sometimes talk to you about things he feels he can’t really discuss with his brother. he trusts that you won’t tattle on him, please don’t break it.
sorry for edging heres the yap sesh 🙏🏻
#zerobaseone x reader#zb1 x reader#hanbin x reader#jiwoong x reader#zhang hao x reader#seok matthew x reader#taerae x reader#ricky x reader#gyuvin x reader#gunwook x reader#han yujin x reader
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⚠️GOOD OMENS S2 SPOILERS⚠️ Okay so let’s talk about the coffee theory. I think it’s ridiculous. I think the theory was most made up because people couldn’t handle the truth. I mean the coffee obviously had some kind of importance cause why would they even show it otherwise but I don’t think it’s that. I mean Aziraphale has always believed in heaven and we’ve seen him choose heaven before. He believes that it can change and that heaven can be good and that’s not something new. Crowley has never been as attached to hell as Aziraphale has been to heaven. We got a little smaller argument about the same thing in season 1 and then we also saw Aziraphale wanting to help heaven and Crowley wanting them to be their own team, it just didn’t become as big of a deal since they figured it out. Also the fact that Aziraphale went with heaven doesn’t mean he doesn’t love Crowley. People are saying how he doesn’t love Crowley back and that the coffee theory has to be true because he always loved Crowley before but he does now too. Did you guys even see the sadness in his eyes after Crowley left? He didn’t want to leave Crowley, he wanted to go to heaven and bring Crowley with him. If you really think about it neither of them did anything wrong. They both just wanted different things. So I think the coffee theory is ridiculous, it actually fits Aziraphales character to choose heaven. I do love Aziraphale anyways though, and Crowley to. I’m Aziraphale apologist number 1. I also think that besides that it’s really sad it actually is a really good ending of the season. We do know that Neil is already working on the next season and has a plan if AMAZON will start freaking paying him. Otherwise he has said we will get a book so we know that’s not the real ending. So I actually think it’s a beautiful way to end a season even if it’s heartbreaking. I am sad but I know there will be more. So most people are definitely overreacting.
#good omens#good omens season 2#coffee theory#I don’t believe in the coffee theory#Aziraphale#Crowley#neil gaiman#I love good omens#gayshow#Aziraphale apologist forever#david tennant#Michael sheen#ineffable husbands#go2#go2 spoilers
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Okay i don’t typically do text posts bc I’m mainly an art person but I’m not gonna lie, the Good Omen fandom coffee theory is just a symptom of a lack of character analysis in regards to Aziraphale imo. In every flashback this season, and even going into the first season, Aziraphale makes it clear that he believes, while some angels are superficial and not truly benevolent, God and Heaven as a whole *is*. Crowley’s reasons for leaving Hell are that they became the worst parts of Heaven, but in Aziraphale’s mind, Crowley leaving Hell was completely logical and simply a product of his 6000 year long reformation, whereas both of them leaving Heaven was a temporary measure until a more established angel (like Metatron) can weed out the “bad apples” inhibiting from his mission, which he believes to be the same as God’s. He is the epitome of a well meaning friend that you only learn years later had been trying to steer your life “out of sin”.
Is Aziraphale a genuinely good and kind person? Yes. But, despite Crowley’s priority having grown to become Aziraphale and his “team”, Aziraphale’s priority has never swayed from the beginning. The woobification lenses were taken off and you’re left with the reality of his character: a flawed man who strives to do good but is so deep in his indoctrination that he cannot leave due to a sunk-cost fallacy. Aziraphale cannot admit he’s wrong because he’s spent his entire existence desperately clinging onto the belief that Crowley’s fall was simply a mistake, that Heaven comprises “the good guys”.
Metatron is suspicious, I agree, but Aziraphale’s character was not out of line with all of the information we were given.
#good omens season 2#good omens 2#go2#good omens spoilers#good omens 2 spoilers#coffee theory#and why I disagree#ineffable husbands#crowly x aziraphale#crowley#aziraphale#aziracrow#anthony j crowley#good omens theory#neil gaiman#neil please#i’m dying here#good omens
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DCxDP Prophecy Universe Part 3
Part 2
Tim reached up to rub at his temples and groaned. This was getting him nowhere. Normally he enjoyed going down the research rabbit-hole but this was ridiculous! Paranormal sciences were a bad joke. Most of it was conjecture, hearsay and unprovable theories with just enough scientific sounding jargon peppered in to confuse a layperson. Peer-review was practically non-existent, not to mention a proper scientific method. Francis Bacon would be rolling in his grave!
The slight hiss of the elevator doors opening interrupted his thoughts.
“Hey Replacement, you missed dinner!” Jason called, sauntering over with a loaded plate in hand. He set down a sandwich next to Tim’s elbow. “Alfie says he’s cutting off your coffee supply until you get some damn sleep. I’m pretty sure he’s gonna start prepping the knock-out gas soon!” he quipped, leaning his hip against the Batcomputer’s console. “Research on the League giving you trouble?”
“I wish.” Tim sighed, reaching for the sandwich, “The Assassins have actually been pretty quiet recently. I found some leads on suspicious political donations in Italy, but nothing I can tie to them directly. Talia’s in Paris as far as I can tell, working at an investment firm for God knows what reason. Probably money laundering related. And the ones holed up in Nanda Parbat have been quiet as murderous little church mice.”
“Ra’s isn’t up to anything? Colour me shocked.” Jason drawled sardonically, “You sure he’s not cooking up a new batch of demon spawn in that mountain of his?”
Tim shook his head. “You know Bruce destroyed his cloning labs after the last… incident. And I’ve found no records of the League procuring the necessary materials or equipment to restart production.” he wrinkled his nose, “Of course it’s possible that they used a shell company we haven’t come across yet, but I believe the odds are pretty low.”
“So what’s got your panties in a bunch then?”
Tim’s mouth twisted in a frown. “Ghosts.”
“Ah.”
Jason stared off into space and Tim took a bite of his sandwich. Egg-salad, score! The Cave was silent for a while, only disturbed by the noise of the actual bats heading out for their nightly hunt.
“I can’t tell you for sure if ghosts are real or not. I don’t remember anything from when I was… dead.” Jason said haltingly, and Tim stilled. “But we’ve seen people come back under pretty weird circumstances. So why not ghosts?” Jason shrugged.
Tim chewed and swallowed before replying. “Because it’s one thing for the physical body to be restored, but some kind of nebulous ‘spirit’ lingering? Why don’t we see ghosts all the time then? Why don’t people come back? Why not…” Tim broke off.
“Your Dad?”
Tim nodded and dropped the remains of the sandwich back on the plate. It suddenly looked as appetising as cardboard.
“I don’t know, birdie. We still don’t know why I came back.” Jason snorted “Maybe the universe just has a sick sense of humour.”
Tim’s lips curled up in a mirthless smile. “Maybe the universe missed your terrible puns. Some of those still haunt me.”
Jason barked out a surprised laugh. “That was terrible!”
“The universe clearly made a grave mistake.”
“Stop it, I can feel my brain cells dying!” Jason groaned and gave Tim a light punch to the shoulder.
“Well we can’t have that, you have so few already!” Tim snarked, then quickly leaned to the side to evade Jason’s attempted noogie. Jason huffed and stepped back, crossing his arms.
“All right mister teenage genius. What have you dug up about ghosts then?”
Tim rolled his eyes. “There’s obviously tons of folklore from all over the world. Pretty much every mythology has stories about the spirits or souls of the dead returning to haunt the living. But if there’s a scientific basis to all this then it’s like trying to find a needle in a haystack. Even the supposed leaders in the field are hopelessly biased.” He pulled up some documents on the screen. “Take these for example. The Doctors Fenton are supposed experts in the field of ‘Ecto-Biology’ as they call it, but their research papers would never fly with a proper scientific journal. A lot of it comes across as blatantly xenophobic towards the entities they are supposedly studying and their research methods seem geared towards confirming what they view as foregone conclusions. And most of their peers operate on the same track.”
Jason hummed thoughtfully as he skimmed one of the articles in question. “Do you think there’s anything to this, or is it all just a hoax?”
Tim snorted. “If there is, they haven’t offered any conclusive proof. Though they certainly seem to have made it work for them. The Fentons have a series of patents for weapons and defenses against these supposed ‘ecto-entities’ and it looks like there’s plenty of people gullible enough to buy them. I haven’t taken a closer look at their products yet, but a lot of it looks like something out of a pulp sci-fi movie.” He pulled up the image of what looked like a bazooka with green glowing parts. Jason whistled.
“So, con artists or mad scientists?”
“Could be both. Their financial records are all over the place and they’ve had some large transactions with what I’m pretty sure are shell companies in recent years. They live and operate out of a small city in Illinois.” Tim said, pulling up the relevant documents on screen.
“Amity Park?” Jason read aloud.
“Supposedly it’s ‘The Most Haunted City in America’. Seems on brand, doesn’t it?”
“It probably helps them stay in business. It looks like they have kids?” Jason pointed at the tax returns. Tim typed some search queries into the system.
“Two. One in high school, one just started her first semester at Metropolis University. With a full scholarship to boot.” He spent a few more minutes hacking into the university’s systems. “Here we go, Jasmine Fenton. Looks like she’s going for a psychology degree. And… hm…” Tim trailed off. Jason quickly realised what had caught his attention.
“‘The Damaging Effects of Envy Towards Metahumans? That’s a hell of a topic for a freshman-year essay.” Jason remarked.
“Yes. I wonder…” Tim drummed his fingers on the keyboard. “She might have some insight into her parents’ research.”
“And at a cursory glance, she didn’t drink whatever Kool-Aid her parents were serving.” Jason finished for him. “You wanna go pump her for information?”
“I might as well. If nothing else, maybe we can shut down a couple of mad scientists before they become a problem.” Tim stood up and stretched. “Time for a field trip!”
Part 4
#dcxdp#dpxdc#dc x dp#dp x dc#danny phantom#batman#batfamily#tim drake#red robin#jason todd#red hood#no beta we die like danny#I'm sick and wordvomited this out at like 4am#send throat lozenges#prophecy universe#the one where clockwork uses prophecies to mess things up (and set things right)
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Polo Drone Thanksgiving Convergence
The crisp autumn morning was filled with excitement as the Thompson family prepared for their annual outing to the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. The kids, Emily and Jake, were bouncing with joy, eagerly anticipating the giant balloons and festive floats. Their mother, Rachel, was bustling around, making sure everyone was dressed warmly and had a hearty breakfast.
As the family gathered in the living room, waiting for everyone to be ready, Tom, the father, sat down with a cup of coffee and flipped through the stack of Black Friday ads. He was a deal hunter by nature, always looking for the best bargains. But today, something caught his eye that left him scratching his head.
“Rachel, come look at this,” Tom called out, his brow furrowed in confusion. He held up an ad showing a sleek, black, rubber-like polo shirt being promoted by several stores. “Can you believe this? It looks like everyone is selling these weird black rubber shirts this year. What’s the deal with this trend?”
Rachel chuckled as she walked over, glancing at the ad. “Oh, Tom, it’s just fashion. You know how these trends can be. Last year it was those oversized sweaters, and this year, it’s apparently rubber shirts. I guess they’re supposed to look futuristic or something.”
Tom shook his head, still not convinced. “Futuristic? They look like something out of a sci-fi movie. I just don’t get it. Who would want to wear a rubber shirt?”
Emily, who had been listening in, piped up. “Maybe they’re for superheroes, Dad! Like those suits they wear in the movies.”
Jake joined in, adding his own theory. “Or maybe they’re for people who spill a lot. You know, easier to clean up!”
Tom laughed, ruffling Jake’s hair. “You two might be onto something. But I think I’ll stick to my good old cotton polos.”
Rachel smiled and gave Tom a reassuring pat on the shoulder. “Don’t worry, honey. You don’t have to understand every trend. Let’s just focus on having a great day at the parade.”
With everyone finally ready, they grabbed their coats and headed out the door, their minds filled with thoughts of balloons, marching bands, and holiday cheer. As they walked towards the subway, Tom took one last look at the ad, still bemused by the rubber shirts, but more than ready to enjoy the day with his family.
After some hunting, they found a perfect spot along the bustling parade route. The streets were packed with excited spectators, their faces lit up with anticipation. The children, Emily and Jake, squeezed their way to the front, eager for the best view. Rachel and Tom stood just behind them, holding hands, feeling the festive energy in the air.
As the parade began, a wave of cheers and applause swept through the crowd. The grand turkey float, a staple of the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade, rolled into view, adorned with vibrant feathers and sparkling lights. Its massive size and intricate design captivated everyone, young and old alike.
Emily and Jake were transfixed, their eyes wide with wonder as the float passed by. They pointed out every detail, from the golden beak to the colorful autumn leaves decorating the base. Rachel smiled, soaking in their joy, while Tom couldn’t help but chuckle at their enthusiasm.
Amid the excitement, no one seemed to notice the details that Tom had found so peculiar earlier that morning. The performers on the float, who were waving and dancing energetically, wore an array of costumes, some of which included the very black rubber polo shirts he had seen in the ads. The shirts, now part of the parade's futuristic-themed segment, blended seamlessly with the other costumes and props, adding a modern twist to the traditional spectacle.
Tom leaned in towards Rachel and whispered, “Look at that, some of them are wearing those rubber shirts. I guess they found a way to make them look…interesting.”
Rachel glanced up, her eyes catching the glint of the shirts under the parade lights. She smiled and nodded. “Well, at least now we know they’re not just for superheroes or messy eaters.”
They shared a quiet laugh, the moment adding a personal touch to the grand event.
The first balloon of the parade, a towering Kung Fu Panda, floated into view, eliciting gasps and cheers from the crowd. Po, the beloved panda, soared high above the street, his enormous form swaying gently in the crisp autumn breeze. Below him, a group of clowns, dressed in colorful, traditional clown outfits, guided the balloon with expert precision. Their costumes, however, had an unexpected twist: each clown sported a black rubber polo shirt beneath their vibrant suspenders and oversized pants.
Tom noticed it first. His eyes locked onto the peculiar combination of the whimsical clown attire and the futuristic black shirts. He elbowed Rachel gently, nodding towards the clowns. “Look, they’re wearing those shirts again,” he muttered, unable to hide his bemusement.
As the clowns danced and waved, the parade watchers—especially the men—began to focus on the black rubber shirts. There was something oddly mesmerizing about the contrast between the playful clown costumes and the sleek, modern shirts. It sparked conversations among them, a mix of curiosity and bewilderment.
“I didn’t think these shirts would catch on like this,” Tom remarked, half to himself, half to Rachel.
Rachel laughed softly. “Well, it looks like they’re becoming quite the fashion statement. Even the clowns are in on it!”
The men around Tom shared similar sentiments, their attention divided between the spectacular parade and the strange allure of the rubber shirts. Some were intrigued, others skeptical, but all found themselves oddly captivated.
The children, meanwhile, remained oblivious to the fashion discussion. Emily and Jake were entirely focused on the towering Kung Fu Panda, their faces glowing with excitement as they pointed and cheered.
As the parade continued, the anticipation grew with every passing float and balloon. Then came the police unit, marching with precision and pride.
They were dressed in impressive uniforms from head to toe—shiny tall black boots, tight shiny black runner pants, and the now infamous black rubber polo shirts, accented with striking gold details. Their ensemble was topped off with crisp, shiny black caps, completing the look of modern authority.
The sight of the police unit was mesmerizing. The men watching the parade found themselves captivated, their attention riveted to the officers’ uniforms. It was as if the world around them had faded away; their minds went blank, completely consumed by the sleek and polished appearance of the unit.
Tom, like many others, stood still, his gaze fixed on the marching officers. He barely noticed the tug on his sleeve from Emily or the questions from Jake. The uniforms had a hypnotic effect, drawing all the men's eyes leaving them entranced.
Rachel, sensing the shift, glanced at Tom and the other men around them, a mix of amusement and curiosity on her face. She gently nudged Tom, bringing him back to the present. “Tom, are you okay?” she asked, smiling.
Tom blinked, his trance broken. “Yeah, I’m fine. It’s just…those uniforms are something else,” he said, shaking his head as if to clear it.
The children, unaware of the fashion statement causing such a reaction, continued to watch the parade with delight. The police unit moved on, their presence leaving an indelible impression on the crowd. For Tom and the other men, the image of the black rubber police uniforms would linger in their minds
As the parade continued, a new spectacle caught the attention of the crowd. A marching band, resplendent in black rubber uniforms that gleamed under the parade lights, approached in perfect formation. Each member wore the now-familiar black rubber polo shirts, the uniforms reflecting an eerie sheen.
The moment the band came into view, the men in the crowd, including Tom, fell silent and still, their gazes fixed on the band. It was as if an invisible force had taken hold of them, rendering them oblivious to everything around them. The air was thick with a sense of anticipation and unease.
The band's music started softly, a harmonious blend of brass and percussion that gradually grew louder. Within the melody, subtle yet insistent, were the words "obey, serve" embedded seamlessly into the notes. The mantra repeated over and over, threading through the music like a whispering command.
The men, entranced by the uniforms and the hypnotic quality of the music, stood frozen, their minds blank. They heard nothing but the embedded words, "obey, serve," resonating within their subconscious. The children tugged at their fathers' sleeves, asking questions and seeking attention, but received no response. Rachel, along with the other women and unaffected spectators, looked on with growing concern.
The band continued to play, their synchronized movements and powerful music creating an almost surreal atmosphere. No matter what Rachel tried—calling out to Tom, shaking his shoulder—nothing could break the trance that held him and the other men captive.
The parade marched on, the dazzling floats and colorful characters passing by unnoticed by the entranced men. For them, the world had shrunk to the relentless repetition of "obey, serve," echoing in their minds, binding them to the spell of the marching band.
As the band moved further along the parade route, the music gradually faded, and the spell began to lift. The men blinked, as if waking from a deep sleep, slowly becoming aware of their surroundings again. Tom shook his head, feeling disoriented. He turned to Rachel, confusion etched on his face.
"Rachel, what happened?" he asked, his voice shaky.
Rachel, relieved but still worried, put a comforting hand on his arm. "You were in a trance, Tom. All of you were. I think it was the band… their uniforms and the music."
As the final segment of the parade approached, the anticipation in the air reached its peak. The firemen, traditionally the final group before Santa’s grand entrance, marched in with an air of authority.
They were dressed in full rubber uniforms, their shiny black polo shirts gleaming under the bright parade lights. Their presence exuded a sense of strength and unity, a stark contrast to the festive chaos around them.
The moment the men in the crowd caught sight of the firemen, the transformation was instant. Eyes glazed over, expressions turned blank, and, as if controlled by an unseen force, they began to move forward, pushing through the throngs of people, shoving their wives and children aside in their single-minded pursuit.
Rachel tried to hold onto Tom, but his strength and determination overpowered her. The children looked up in confusion and fear as their fathers moved in unison towards the curb, their movements mechanical, their gazes fixed on the marching firemen.
Then, in a spectacle that defied belief, Santa Claus appeared, bringing the holiday season to life. But to the shock of the women and children, Santa too was dressed in a shiny black rubber suit, with a black buttoned-up polo shirt prominently displayed. The traditional red and white suit was gone, replaced by this futuristic, unnerving attire.
As Santa’s float passed by, he began throwing black polo shirts into the crowd. The men, now in a full trance, scrambled to catch them, clawing over one another in desperation. The sight was both surreal and unsettling, as these ordinarily composed men fought for the shirts like their very lives depended on it.
Each man who managed to grab a shirt put it on immediately. The transformation was complete; they stood at perfect attention, their expressions devoid of any emotion, their minds seemingly blank. The parade continued, but for the families of these men, the day had taken an unexpected and eerie turn.
Rachel held her children close, her heart pounding with a mix of confusion and fear. She glanced around at the other bewildered wives and mothers, all of them sharing the same look of shock and helplessness.
As Santa’s float proceeded down the street, the festive atmosphere took on an even stranger turn. Behind the sleigh came a line of men dressed in the same black rubber uniforms, but this time with ominous gas masks covering their faces. Their silent, methodical movements added a chilling undertone to the parade.
These masked men approached each individual at the curb who had donned the new black polo. Without a word, they placed gas masks over the men’s faces. Almost instantaneously, the men fell into line, their movements synchronized and robotic. They left the curb, stepping into the street to join the parade.
The wives and children, already bewildered by the events, watched in horror and confusion as their loved ones marched away, now part of this enigmatic collective. The men, now resembling drones more than individuals, moved in perfect formation, their expressions blank, their minds seemingly lost.
Santa, leading this surreal procession, continued to distribute the black polos, reinforcing the transformation. The spectacle left the crowd in stunned silence, the festive joy overshadowed by the eerie uniformity of the new recruits.
Rachel clutched her children tightly, her heart heavy with fear and uncertainty. She searched for Tom among the ranks of the newly transformed, but he was already lost in the sea of identical figures. The parade continued, each step of the marching men echoing like a haunting drumbeat.
As the final float disappeared from sight, the wives and children were left standing, the parade route now eerily quiet
As Jake grew up, the memories of that Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade and the mysterious transformation of his father lingered in the back of his mind. The image of the black rubber polo shirts and the blissful expression on his father’s face became an obsession, a puzzle piece he could never quite fit into place. The desire to understand and experience what his father had gone through grew stronger with each passing year.
On his 18th birthday, Jake received a package in the mail. His mother had no knowledge of it, and the sender's identity was a mystery. With a mix of curiosity and anticipation, he opened the package. Inside was a black rubber polo shirt, identical to the ones he remembered from that fateful day.
Jake felt a strange pull as he ran his fingers over the smooth material. The sensation was both thrilling and unsettling. Without hesitation, he slipped the shirt on, feeling its cool embrace against his skin. Almost immediately, his mind went blank, the words "obey" and "serve" echoing in his consciousness like a relentless mantra.
Robotic in his movements, Jake stood up and made his way to the front door. He opened it to find a figure standing there, a polo drone who had once been his father, waiting for him.
The drone placed a gas mask over Jake's face, and a wave of overwhelming joy and ecstasy washed over him. The connection was immediate and profound, an inexplicable sense of unity and purpose.
Jake had become one with the polo drone collective, joining his father and others who had been transformed. The bliss he felt was indescribable, a fusion of consciousness with a larger entity. As he marched away, his mind completely aligned with the collective’s purpose, he left behind a family that would never truly understand where he had gone or what he had become of him, his father or the other men who attended that Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade.
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Interesting Alastor Insights
I think I may have figured out what was up Alastor’s ass in Dead Beat Dad. On one hand it may be a deeper issue that I am missing some context for, but I actually think it’s a little simpler then we think.
Even before Lucifer arrived, Alastor was clearly not happy about him coming over, and yes Alastor was 100% full of shit in the dad off song, BUT! Something note worthy is that he was not only being possessive of the Hotel (claiming to be its host and even greeting Lucifer as the master of the house does) but is also weirdly possessive of Charlie
And right down to the “fuck you” to Lucifer’s face it was projecting “get your feet off of my damn coffee table and get outta my house” energy. At first I was wondering what crawled up Alastor’s ass and died, and then Hell’s greatest Dad starts playing and..
“Who’s been faithful as a Nun? Who’s been here since day one?”
And it dawned on me and I was like “Alastor, why are you acting like your being replaced?” And Charlie is just as confused at Alastor’s behavior, like this came out of nowhere. Apparently Alastor was determined to show Lucifer who the Genie of this bottle is. But I didn’t believe it at first, I was like “nah it has to be something else” but then Mimzy gave some VARY interesting insight
When Mimzy first arrived, Alastor has a look that says (oh this is all I need right now) but he still seems happy to see her
Like holy shit, he happily reciprocates the hug, but that’s not to surprising if you know who Mimzy is if you have been fallowing Viv for a while
When she mentioned that he frequented the club (speakeasy)that she preformed in I was like “oh! They are drinking buddies!” Drinking Buddies are someone you generally only know the fun side of because you only hang out together at the bar, but Mimzy highlights a different side to their relationship
“Put on some Jazz, and pour a few fingers of Rye, and he becomes a kitten”
This gives me insight that while they were alive, she wasn’t just his drinking buddy and dance partner, she was his comfort zone. The way she phrased this sentence, made it sound like this was something she used to do for Alastor when they were alive, maybe she was a soothing presence as well as an entertaining one in Alastor’s life. But bar friends can sometimes be pretty high maintenance friends outside the bar, actually I think a lot of us have had something close to a friend like Mimzy in our lives. Apparently she is so bad that even Husk is concerned enough about Alastor to try and talk to him about her
“You and I both know Mimzy only shows up when she needs something. That bitch is trouble, and who knows what demon she fucked with to come running to you this time”
Alastor’s response threw me for a loop
“It’s nothing I can’t handle, don’t worry Husker, who would cross me?”
So Alastor is not immune to having toxic friends? I always assumed he would just drop anyone who became to much trouble, this is an interesting surprise. And on top of that he’s…an enabler!? Huh…that is super interesting to know. Putting a pin in the rest of this interaction for another post because there is a lot to unpack with husk and alastor. Except for the being on a leash thing because it made me realize something.
What if the reason he felt upstaged by Lucifer was not because Lilith told him to keep him away (yeah I am subscribing to the Lilith theory, it’s to much to Be a coincidence) but because he is legitimately afraid of no longer being needed by Charlie? What if, if he isn’t needed by Charlie then he has to go back to wherever he was the last 7 years? Everyone assumes he is free because he acts as such, but is he? Like real question, what if he was a straight up gift to Charlie in a way? Even if it was a “look after my daughter” command I would still call that sending a gift.
And oh man, what if he was suppose to tell the whole truth to Charlie but gave the whole, “I am here for entertainment” speech instead.
And your probably thinking, Charlie wouldn’t tell him to leave. Yeah but does Alastor know that? And he probably thinks Lilith might call him back anyway if he is not needed but just hanging out. But as we have seen, he cant even except his own situation
I will unpack this whole encounter later, but for real I don’t even think he is that mad at husk, he was mad at the reminder that his soul doesn’t belong to him any more. Like look at his face, it’s the most upset we have ever seen him, and it’s so detailed. He looks enraged, but also hurt at the same time. He and Charlie are not friends, yet, but I think he does feel some what safe at the hotel and maybe that’s enough for now
I also think there is some stock in Alastor hating that Lucifer is a bad dad theory, because that contempt was so raw and he did calm the fuck down a little bit during the “more then anything” song
But those are my random insights of Alastor, there were more but this is already to long I just hope it’s coherent
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