#I do wish they picked more of a range of actors/actresses ..
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dazzelmethat · 5 months ago
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Three Caballeros scene near the finale. I hope whoever the 1944 art director was knew that they permanently imprinted surrealism inside my 3 yr old brain...
I'm still blown away by it's bold use of animated color. This segment in particular is massively influenced by the Mexican surrealist movement that started in the 1920s I think.
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laismoura-art · 7 months ago
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Who do you personally cast as Harumi if she were to (hopefully) be playable? Me, I'd pick Sumalee Montano. Because 1) since she's the voice and mocap of Yuna in Ghost of Tsushima, it would be cute if she ended up being Jin's husband in another universe, and 2) because I think she has the range and capability to pull Harumi off. She's played so many badass characters like the aforementioned Yuna and Arcee from Transformers: Prime. Just listen to them both and tell me that’s not Harumi. Arcee’s snarky personality can also be for her more funnier interactions with Kuai Liang and Smoke 🤪
Also I kinda ship Jin and Yuna so it would be funnier if they end up becoming partners in two franchises 👀
Hi, Anon!! Thanks for the ask!!🩷
I went after Sumalee's work as Arcee and Yuna, and oooh I can definitely see our vision, and I loved it!
I totally see Kuairumi in Yuna and Jin! Him being more reserved and doing his very best to look always so composed and in control, but just not being able to keep it together when he's around the pretty girl🤭 it's cute!
Meanwhile, she's more open about her feelings and makes sure he knows how much she cares for him!
It's an undeniably cute dynamic!
As for her work as Arcee, I believe Harumi would save the snarky attitude for her enemies and be more of a tease towards her friends!
Especially towards Kuai, who's completely out of his comfort zone and having to take a role he didn't want to nor was prepared to take!
She would tease him and make little jokes just to light up the mood. He would pout at her comments and, for a moment, would just forget about all his problems. It helps, even though he doesn't realise right away!
So, Sumalee is definitely a great choice!🩷
🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸
Now for my personal choice:
See, I'm Brazilian, and most of us take pride in our voice actors and the amazing work they do!
We have so many iconic voices, Guilherme Briggs, Flávia Saddy, Miriam Fisher, Marcio Seixas, and so, so, so many more!
So when I think of a voice for Harumi, I can only think of Brazilian voices for her. My personal favourite being:
Guilene Conte!
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Here's a little compilation so you can hear her voice!
Her work as Rochelle from "Everybody Hates Chris" is LEGENDARY to the point whenever we hear Rochelle's actress, Tichina Arnold, speak in English it just feels sooo wrong!😂😂
Her works as Sarah Lance and Capitan Amélia were great, too. She has a really strong voice, fitting with a leader, I can definitely hear her commanding her warriors in defence of the Shirai Ryu!
She would also go personally to Kuai's defence when a student tries to be too bold on him, talking back and acting disrespectful, she would snap at them Rochelle style and make them wish they were never born (that definitely extends to Bi-Han), lol💀
🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸
In a perfect world, Sumalee voices Harumi and Guilene does the Brazilian dub!👀💕💖💞💓
@madamealtruist you're the pro when it comes to voice acting. Please, girl, do share your thoughts when you're back!💕
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moonsinkfoxgirl · 7 months ago
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Oh you've got time do ya? Time for the prime numbers?
prime numbers, yay ^_^
2. Are you outgoing or shy?
shy of course lol
3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?
Lilly^^
5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?
that is extremely unlikely to happen, but yeah, she would^^
7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?
not gonna ever break up if I can help it
11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?
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13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?
it's super nice ^_^
17. Do you think there is life on other planets?
it would be ridiculous to think otherwise
19. Do you like bubble baths?
it's how I take all my baths^^ it does wonders for the dysphoria
23. Do you have trust issues?
probably a bit more than most people but it's not that bad I think? I more have worrying issues than trust issues mostly
29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?
never had an ex and hopefully never will
31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail?
it is^^ usually need to make one to clean
37. What do you say during awkward silences?
it wouldn't be an awkward silence if I was capable of breaking it
41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?
that is a loaded question that is highly dependent on context, and the word 'deserves' is an extremely bad term to use in it
43. Do you smile at strangers?
no
47. Have you ever been high?
nope
53. Favourite makeup brand?
I don't
59. First thing you ate this morning?
cereal! choco rice to be specific
61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?
nope, i was a 'pleasure to have in class'-kid
67. Facebook or Twitter?
I neither want the plague nor cholera
71. Craving something? What?
haven't had a good pasta in couple days now... the tragedy of not being with my girl, also cuddles
73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?
yes^^ here in Vienna it's my pink blåhaj and Miharu my cute black snake
79. What colour shirt are you wearing?
yellow
83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2?
is that like a TV show or sthg?
89. Name a person you hate?
no thanks
97. Favourite actor?
I don't know any actors; favorite voice actress is probably 悠木 碧
101. Do you type fast?
most people rarely do I think and neither do I probably
103. Can you spell well?
haven't really checked much since my school days I was pretty alright back then, got a bit worse through all the internet typing but still nothing too bad I think
107. Have you ever been on a horse?
nope
109. Is something irritating you right now?
the fact that my gf is far far outside of cuddling range
113. What was your childhood nickname?
no thanks
127. What makes you happy?
Lilly, yuri, video games, having stressless free time to engage in my few creative outlets, Lilly
131. Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?
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137. How tall are you?
167cm
139. Brunette or Blonde?
I would understand this question if it at least only excluded like the rare natural hair colors, but like there isn't even a black hair choice? what the hell? (this does not mean I would pick black hair)
149. Do you believe in ghosts?
I wish I could, but alas, there is no evidence.
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rumblelibrary · 3 years ago
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Okay I swear last one for now I swear 😅 might send some more when I wake up tomorrow.
But you said you would write for the actual Daniel and I saw one on the kink list and was like yes
So uh, Daniel Brühl with the filming (consensual) kink 😏
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Consensual filming with Daniel Brühl
Warnings: S - M - U - T
(I can only thank you from the bottom of my heart for giving me always such interesting plots to work with 💝💝💝 ILY and I Hope you'll enjoy iy)
It all begun on one random night, one like any other. Daniel was reading a
book about film making and screenplay adaptation.
You stared down at your own book, the soft music coming from the speakers lulling the both of you, your legs thrown over his lap as you laid on the couch.
You were soon to go to bed and you were trying to convince yourself to stand up and do your night routine.
“This camera angle language is fascinating" he said.
You sat up as you leaned in and he showed you all the pictures contained din the book, he pointed at them giving you some rough interpretation of them.
"I mean, I have been in those so many times but this changes my perspective"
You nodded as you looked at him, he was so absorbed by the idea of his first debut as a director, you adored to see him so driven . They were still onto the screenplay with the production, but he was way too into it.
"Maybe you can use my old digital camera, it is not that old in the end and you can practice"
He nodded and smiled a you kissing your forehead to thank you for your support.
"Thank you mi amor"
You winked at him as you stood up "I'll go to bed"
"Five minutes"
He said as he stood up and actually went to pick the camera from where you stored it and he plugged the battery up to charge overnight.
You called your own disgrace, because from that moment on you were on a movie set. He kept asking you to redo a thing, to move back into a room because he wanted to try it in a different way. Once he even asked you to cut the carrots all over again.
"But I don't need them"
Your own whines didn't help, you did it again because he decided that it would look better in a way and not the other.
The real deal came while you were watching a Spanish movie to improve your own language skills, better said you were ignoring it while kissing. It happened most of the times, Daniel loved cinema, but he had the greatest distraction beside himself.
"mi amor, tengo the enseñarte algo"
His whisper reached to your ears as he was nibbling onto your skin, his hands onto you as you were already try to get rid of his clothings.
It wasn't new he had to show you something, he was an actor, he was made to play dress up and you loved every bit of it.
You hummed contently as he stood up and left.
You stared at him walking away noticing how the man was prepping for his next role doing some weights and it showed onto his shoulders, in the way his comfy homey clothing now clung onto his upper chest giving it a show.
But it wasn't him in some historical clothing or suit that you found when you joined him but he bowed onto the camera adjusting some settings.
"There's my main actress"
You frowned "oh, no Daniel" you said covering your face as a little chuckle escaped you but it was pure nervousness.
"What? is that such a bad idea? it would be nice and embarrassing to rewatch it together, sexy in particular"
You frowned at him not sure about it
"Cielo"
The soft nickname he used with you rang through your bones as you looked away onto the bed, the room mildly illuminate by only the lamp on his nightstand, and then at him doing his prettiest puppy eyes.
"Fine"
You said as the biggest and brightest smile opened onto him.
"Okay, but please take only my good angles" you said trying to focus or maybe you should just relax "you have only good angles my angel. now, just panties and your, no wait"
He put down the camera and took off his white t-shirt "panties and my shirt"
You chuckled but obeyed as you picked the shirt and begun undressing leaving on your panties and slipping his shirt on before slowly crawling onto the bed.
You laid on yo beck trying to get comfortable as much as you could in such a peculiar moment.
You let a soft sigh out trying to relax on your first, and maybe last, leading role.
"Don't be nervous, you're so beautiful ,why don't you touch your body a bit"
You let out a big breath as you begun to follow his instructions, but you were still too tensed.
"Look at me"
He said as he held the camera and looked away from the little screen on the back of the camera to look up at you "I am so lucky"
He smirked as he moved closer, his shirtless figure being so attractive as his hair got a bit messed up when he took it off.
You almost didn't think about it as you started to touch yourself more, cupping your breasts and guiding your hands between your legs as he stared intensely at every movement.
"Put your hand in your panties"
you whimpered softly as you did as he said, you hated him because you wanted him so bad and you were touching yourself over his bare chested figure.
"oh, so hot to see your hand tucked in there" he commented and he made you feel excited only by thinking about it, about what you could achieve now, so you pulled up your shirt lightly exposing partially your breasts.
A little groan escaped him as your eyes travelled onto him with such a desire, it was impossible for him to hide the excitement growing into his pants as you begun to unleash little moans and pleads for more pleasure.
"come closer"
Your little whisper, your hand stretched toward you wanting more, the way the frame was captured and he moved near you to obey that wish using your arm as a bridge.
"Tell me"
You didn't answer him as you slipped your panties off legs before doing the same with his pants pulling them down along with his briefs.
He stared at you, he couldn't hold back a groan of pleasure mixed with surprise when instead of touching him you begun to run your tongue on his shaft while looking up at him, depositing soft kisses and licks on the tip. The camera recording it all as you finally welcomed his cock between your lips. He probably underestimated the effect this experiment would have on him.
"Fuck, you're so good"
He muttered under his breath as you bobbed your head so nicely taking him in and giving such a show for the camera as he zoomed onto you, your eyes briefly moving up to him as some pre cum coated your tongue.
He pulled back almost immediately not willing to cum like this, you really put an effort in this and he had to do the same.
He leaned on the bed resting the camera on his nightstand and turning the little screen on side to make sure both of you were well angled and it wasn’t recording into the void.
"You're such a tease"
He said as he knew you'd be a natural at it. You peeled his shirt off you as he pushed you down onto the mattress hovering you in a second, lacing your lips into a bruising kiss as he mercilessly pushed inside you making you groan n that kiss.
You felt so extra sensitive, you arched your back as you welcomed him, as he owned your body so perfectly.
You moaned his name as his lips found your neck again and he begun thrusting inside you, the camera already forgotten as he dived deep into that pleasure with you.
"You're so wet, you're shameless"
He whispered as he kissed you with a smile playing over his lips.
Your hands cupping his face as you pulled him closer, then digging your fingers onto those toned shoulders that obsessed you.
"Harder, harder"
You begged breathlessly as he moved his hand behind your head tangling his fingers among your hair. He was doing all in his power to not give in to that tempting sight you were and he failed himself pretty fast.
Your legs lacing around him as he supported himself easily over you, he was gone for it, next time probably wasting less time on foreplay because he wanted more angles of him fucking you.
His hand moving between your bodies to touch your clit as he snapped his hips hard into you, the hold up pleasure taking over as you reached your orgasm and he could finally let go after you.
"Fuck"
You hissed nuzzling against you as he pressed his forehead against your neck.
"You have talent, we should do that again"
"Next time will you be Zemo or Dr Kreizler?"
"Depends if you want to be played or play, mi amor"
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shinebrightlikeanarwhal · 3 years ago
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Brain going brrr for Shen Jiu food today sosisosl
So hear me out, modern au. Shen Jiu doesn’t remember anything of their past live(s) and is a relatively famous internet chef. Like he has a PO Box and everything for his fans to send gifts or letters for him to personally read and tell them either what to do or that he’s proud, he never shows his face though, a deathly fear of being found, but by who? His young son, Ming Fan, is all but excited to be Shen Jiu’s direct bloodline in this life. Shen Qingqiu was always his father figure in the first life, but the second he got hurt or something and started caring for that nasty LBH.
Sometimes, Shen Jiu feels unsafe when out on the street and going about his day to day life. He doesn’t know why but certain faces of public figures terrify him. A little lady on the street selling hand made jewelry and staring at him like she’s seen a ghost makes him physically sick. God, he despises the face of this rather famous actor, Luo Bing-something?? He hates this confusing feeling that seemed to come of nowhere. That doesn’t stop them from trying to approach once they see him.
Women in fancy clothes and strong perfume dote on him and he practically melts in their arms. Confused on how they know his name but more than happy to chat about life. They seem happy for him, ecstatic even! Men in suits ranging from serious CEO to flashy idols would stop their cars and holler at him for his time of day. He despises men like that and gives them no acknowledgement while he continues on his way. If he’s lucky they have a tight schedule, if not they follow him to the grocery store and corner him in the frozen section while he picks out treats for his son. Two men have tried that and were met with a smack by popsicles. Social media was set a blaz when videos of this Luo Binghe and Liu Qingge cornered the same man on different days and tried harassing him. Of course their stans refused to believe it was their fault. It MUST be the pretty man minding his business throughout the proof on the grocery camera. The companies dared to contact him afterwards and SJ happily sent back his lawyers information and video proof of their ‘important persons’ harassment and stalking.
One was bold enough to publicly announce that they were looking for him at a political event. Broadcasted nationwide. Shen Jiu felt nothing but disdain for that Yue man. Who says “I’m looking for a man I haven’t seen since I was young and dumb.” During a political conference?? Just because you know it’s being broadcasted!? His fans during a livestream asked what he thought about it and he angrily said that Yue man was a fool! An absolute clown for thinking that wishing some guy that doesn’t even know him will come looking for him just because he said his name!
He never had a bad experience with women until one scowled at him and he instinctively scowled back. He had his son with him that day and was trying to not be hounded. But this woman continued to follow him and berate his clothing, his hair. He could handle scrutiny of himself but the moment she said anything about Ming Fan, be it his appearance or his mother, he drew the line. Wiping around to face this despicable woman and spitting the iciest response he could without scaring Ming Fan. He remembered seeing her on a magazine before. Some model or washed up actress. God help her when he posts the body cam footage his partner made him wear after the second Grocery store incident. She scoffed at him and just continued to point and jeer at him. Wondering if the others were only following him for his pretty face. Others?? The men that harassed him and the girls that scurried with their tail between their legs?? Shen Jiu is starting to think it’s time to move. He desperately wants to mind his business and live his life but they seem adamant on harassing him.
So he does! He announces it on a video after the fact so that they can’t find him even if they try to. Perks of dating a rich ceo, anonymity is quite easy with money!
Shen Jiu happily married his now hubby and they have many more kids with Ming Fan adoring them all. He refuses to be nice to this one lady at his school that tries to be friendly with him and will run crying to SJ, who remembers her as the jewelry stand girl, and he immediately has his son in a different class. Life going well for the man who was claimed to be evil in past lives, meanwhile the others are crumbling day by day now that he’s missing and they can’t seem to find him, no matter what. (NYY may have stalked him to the remote village but she wouldn’t tell the others. She can’t risk making Shizun hate her more). The ones that harassed her were publicly pitted by their companies and forced to apologize to him specifically. When word got out that Shen Jiu vanished it did NOT look good for them.. LBH had the wrath of his mother and LQG had a mother and grandmother to fear. QQQ was fired and black listed from the media. She would have just apologized if she had insulted the man himself, but following and insulting the child too? The media scorned her already shitty gossip personality. Any time she tried to get on tv they would turn on his and snicker about her cancellation. YQY lived lavishly, but lonely. He had a political marriage and no children. He refused to touch his wife. No matter what she would say all he could do is smile and apologize. Work wise things were going well. Since they didn’t have a punching bag to push everything on and the other politicians seemed to work smoothly despite disagreements, he had no real need to focus on work 24/7. But he did. He was always in his office scouring the internet for Xiao Jiu.
SY and SQH weren’t mentioned because they literally wouldn’t do anything different from usual. They wouldn’t even meet their past life husbands (LBH would think SY is a fan and just give his usual charm and leave. He’s already found SJ, this man is just a fake clearly). SQH wouldn’t have the chance to get MBJ, the neet writer would see him once and fumble his words. Probably earning a scoff as MBJ walked off to go meet his peer/partner. The two millennials would probably bond online over a story and get close. Maybe a failed relationship but remained friends.
TLDR; Everyone reincarnated and their lives fall apart if they don’t change their attitude towards SJ. SJ doesn’t remember them and just wants to raise his baby MF in peace. Jobs are lost and public relations are plummeting because these fools couldn’t find healthier ways to reconnect with SJ.
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onewithnomightypowers · 4 years ago
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clandestine (chapter 5)
PAIRING: Tom Holland x fem!Reader
SUMMARY: Y/N is an up and coming actress, married to a once hotshot actor, Harrison (Haz). What happens when her co-star, Tom, makes her realise that she is stuck in a loveless marriage. A marriage starts crumbling and a new romance stars brewing.
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chapter 5: the rumour has it
A/N: i do not encourage cheating. i hope you guys like this chapter!! feedback is always appreciated. thanks for reading <3
warnings: drinking, cursing
word count: 1.6k
important: bold and italic are character thoughts
series masterlist   main masterlist   chapter 4   chapter 6
The video of Y/N and Tom singing ‘SOS’ broke the internet. It was trending for at least four days. The whole internet, already on the witch hunt to find evidence of a relationship, was being fed. The paparazzi were circling around like vultures. The threat of being outed made them hide in their caves.
Haz was coming to London in two days. Y/N was trying to rid the house of anything and everything that hinted that Tom had been staying with her. Between the paps, shooting, and Haz, she couldn’t find time to meet Tom and give him his things.
There were Polaroids scattered all over the house. While she was packing a box to parcel to Tom, she found a Polaroid on her glass coffee table next to her ‘vanilla sage’ candle from Bath and Body Works. In the photo, Y/N was lying on her stomach on the hardwood floor in her living room, a gin and tonic next to her. Tom was sitting on the floor with his right arm extended to take the photo. They were both smiling.
She remembered when he took that photo. It was the same day she found a vintage vinyl of Ella Fitzgerald and Louis Armstrong’s ‘on verve’, during her exploration of Camden market. They decided to have a listening party of that album on the floor. Tom found his new favourite song that day, ‘let’s call the whole thing off’. She smiled at the memory. Instead of putting it in the box, she went into her room to put it in her wallet where only she could find it.
Y/N noticed her phone vibrating next to her purse. It was Harrison.
“Bonjour mon amour”,
“Hi Haz, did you board the flight?”
“Just did; listen you don’t have to pick me up from the airport, I know you are busy at work”
“Fine. Text me when you land”
“Su-“, she hung up the phone.
I can’t believe I have to live with this man for a whole week.
Haz came in late at night, even though his flight was supposed to land at 5pm. Y/N was already sleeping. When she woke up around 8 next morning, she found, much to her surprise, Haz snoring next to her. Last night she made sure that there was a pillow and a blanket on the couch for him, a subtle way of saying ‘I don’t want you sleeping in the same bed with me’. Also because she thought he knew about the affair and wouldn’t want to sleep next to her.
God, I wish I had another bedroom
Y/N was sitting on the bar stool with her laptop on the kitchen island, going through her mail while drinking coffee. Haz had just woken up from his deep slumber, and found his way to the kitchen to fetch him some coffee.
“Good morning!” she said enthusiastically, without looking up from her laptop screen. She had thought it was a sleepy Tom, coming out of the bedroom to make himself tea.
“Morning”, Haz said as a reflex, rubbing his eyes. Y/N’s smile disappeared upon hearing the sound of his voice.
“Did you make breakfast?” Haz asked while pouring himself coffee into a mug Tom had gifted Y/N.
“I made myself breakfast when I woke up, three hours ago. Was I supposed to make breakfast for you too?” It was a rhetorical question. Y/N noticed the mug, it made her uneasy watching a man she doesn’t love drinking from a gift given by the man she did love.
“There’s eggs and bread in the fridge, help yourself”, she pointed at the refrigerator.
As Haz cracked open an egg on the pan, Y/N received an email from Greta.
“Good news, Netflix bought the distribution rights to Greta’s movie, she just sent me a mail”
“Oh”
Oh? Seriously, oh?
“They are planning the premier for this Friday, do you want to go with me?”
“I don’t think so, I don’t really like the people you work with” he was putting butter on cold bread.
There is nothing more tragic than love turning into hate. Tragedy had struck their marriage. The rest of the week, they only spoke when they absolutely had to. It was like living with a roommate, you share a bed with but cannot share your day with.
--
It was Friday, the day of the movie premiere. Y/N was excited to see Tom after a week without him, which felt like an eternity to her. She was wearing a silver colored floor length gown with heavily studded earrings. Her hair was up in a bun with two strands out, to shape her face.
Since it was Netflix, the event could afford to take place at the Royal Albert Hall. Y/N had only been there once, for an Arctic Monkeys concert. When she stepped out of the car, she was met by blinding lights of the cameras. She walked over to the whole cast on the red carpet. The only thing she could hear was the deafening noise of photographers screaming to look towards them and in between, tabloid journalists asking her questions about her life and rumours.
Y/N was still pretty new to walking red carpets because she had mostly worked on indie films that couldn’t afford a grand premiere as most of the money would go towards entering different festivals. Y/N was wearing a mask of pure joy on her face but Tom could see right through it. He could see how uncomfortable Y/N was feeling.
He walked towards her, “you look gorgeous darling” he whispered in her ears and for a second that mask she was wearing became real. They both posed together, but regretted it immediately. The whole media went on overdrive, seeing them together.
“Are you guys seeing each other?” a person from the left screamed.
“Y/N, did you leave Harrison?” someone from the right asked
The voices were coming from everywhere. All they could do now was walk off the carpet. Tom had arranged for Y/N to sit next to her during the screening. His hand was linked with Y/N’s the whole time. He could feel her shivering.
“Are you cold?” he asked her.
“Not really”, she took a long pause. “I am just nervous about my performance in the movie and I guess the questions really got to my head, it’s all making me very anxious”
“Don’t worry babe, everyone is going to love you in the movie, and those hunters out there are shell of a person, all they care about are these bullshit rumours. They don’t deserve a house in your thoughts”
“Shhhhhh” someone whispered from the row above theirs.
Y/N’s phone was vibrating, it was Harrison’s fourth call in fifteen minutes.
Why is he not getting the hint that I don’t want to talk to him
She ignored it.
A few minutes later, her phone rang again.
What if it’s serious?
She got up and went outside of the theatre to take the call.
“What is it, Haz? You know I’m busy right now”
“Umm, are you Y/N?” A man with a heavy, older voice said.
“Yes?” She was confused. “Who is this and how do you have my husband’s phone?”
“Your husband is trashed, ma’am. He passed out on my bar counter about half an hour ago. Your number was on his emergency contact list so I'm calling you to pick him up”
“I’ll be right there, can you tell me the address?”
“Yeah sure it’s 141 Albert Street, Spread Eagle”
Tom came out of the theatre.
“Is everything okay, Y/N?”
“I have to go pick up Haz, he’s splashed out on a bottle somewhere, bloody fool can’t even walk”, she said whilst texting her driver to pick her up.
“Do you want me to go with you?”
“No, I need to deal with this alone”
She walked out the back gate and got in a black Audi.
The paparazzi had noticed her early departure, so they started following her recklessly.
It was a corner pub, the bar was at full capacity. Y/N saw Haz with his head down on the counter, an almost empty tequila bottle next to him.
“Haz wake up, come on, we need to go, get up darling” Y/N was trying to shake him awake.
“O-oh Y/N, y-you’re he-ear”, he was slurring his words.
“Yeah now let’s go”
He started to get up, Y/N had her one hand on his back and the other on his forearm, to support him.
“Honey I th-think I’m going to puke”, he looked sick.
“Is there a restroom here?” She asked the bartender. He pointed towards the corner of the room, a dimly lit area.
“Thank you”. She helped Harrison to walk to the restroom.
The washroom felt like their marriage. They were cramped up in it. The whole room was pure white but also yellow, caused by the lack of cleaning. There were no windows and had only one white florescent light. It was suffocating. The room made her realise that she could not hide from the inevitable, anymore.
Has was on his knees, holding on to the toilet seat with his dear life, puking all the poison out. Y/N was standing near the sink, taking off her statement earrings. She could see a vulnerable Harrison in the reflection of the mirror.
“I want a divorce”, she whispered, loud enough to be heard in this stifle room.
@mysticapples17  @storybookholland
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soapsilly · 4 years ago
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Not him - Tom Holland x Reader
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Pairings: Tom Holland x reader; (slight Post Malone x reader)
Summary: (Y/N) and Tom got together on the set of Spider-Man. But the relationship doesn’t work out the way both of them had hoped for. What happens when (Y/N) gets over Tom faster than he would like? How will they act when they first see each other again in person on set for the new movie when neither of them can let go of their resentment?
Requests are open!
I guess, you could label this as Angst? Eventhough I don’t think it’s that angsty. I’m also terrible at writing summaries. Also, for the new love interest I chose Post Malone, because I needed a celebrity in the same age range as the main characters and also I’m kinda obsessed with him at the moment, so sorry if he’s not everyone’s type. However, this isn’t about him, so sorry if I didn’t exactly nail his personality.
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“Are you being serious?”, (Y/N) questioned her boyfriend. She couldn’t believe what she just heard.
“Here we go again”, Tom said rolling his eyes, “yes, I am serious”
(Y/N) chose to ignore that little dig at her but instead continued, “So, you’re seriously planning to move her in?”
“What am I supposed to do? Do you expect me to put her on the streets?”
“I expect you to at least talk to me about it!”
“I have known her for ages. There was no point in discussing it. She nedded a place to stay and I offered. End of story. She’s one of my closest childhood friends! Can we please not fight about this? Please? You’re leaving to shoot soon. You won’t even notice she’s here.”
"I don’t want to fight with you, love. But she’s a childhood friend that you told me you were in love with for the longest time! That I’m leaving makes it worse actually. Besides, you already spend the majority of your time with her. Do you really have to move her in now, too?”
It was true, Melanie was one of Tom’s oldest friends back in London. They grew up in the same neighbourhood and shared the same friend group. And he was crushing on her hard when he was younger.
“So you conveniently ignore that I hang out with all my old friends?”, Tom was getting more and more annoyed now. What was her problem?
“You can’t seriously expect me to spend all my time with you! I’m gone for so long at a time. Let me just spend some time with my people!”, Tom grew frustrated now.
“Your people... You spend all your free time with your people! And I’m at home going to bed alone almost every night. Why did you even ask me to come stay with you here, when you just leave me all the time?”, she was close to tears now. She felt lonely.
“I’m beginning to ask myself the same question. What has gotten into me?”
(Y/N) was quiet for a moment. That stung. The world knew Tom as that silly goofball, which he was - most of the time at least. But he could also be a proper bastard if he wanted to.
The girl took a deep breath.
“Listen, I understand that you want to help your friend but I just wished for you to talk to me first before you made that decision”, she continued much calmer now.
But Tom was having none of it. He was fired up now and annoyed by his girlfriend’s constant nagging.
“(Y/N)! How am I supposed to talk to you when you get so overly emotional all the time? You’re so fucking sensitive!”
“So you don’t talk to me at all? What kinda logic is that? Tom look at us. We’re fighting. Again. I can’t remember the last time we had a nice evening together. I can’t remember the last time we slept with each other...”
“You’re being dramatic. It hasn’t been that long”
“It has, too!”
“What do you want me to do? You’re smothering me! Of course I’d rather spend time with Mel. She’s not nagging me all the damn time!”
This was the first time he admitted to it. 
Both of them stood still, facing each other.
“(Y/N)-”, Tom started but (Y/N) just held up her hand, effectively silencing him.
“Tom. Have you cheated on me with Melanie?”
“What? Of course not! (Y/N) I love you. Nobody else. I wouldn’t do that to you”, he tried to reassure her. Suddenly he felt bad for what he said.
“Have you thought about it? Even for just a second?”
“(Y/N), please...”, he pleaded with her.
“I’m leaving”
*******************************************************************************************
It’s been a few months since (Y/N) left Tom. He still felt bad for how their last fight ended and he was sure that if he hadn’t gotten so fired up, she’d still be there with him.
Tom asked her to stay, pleaded even, when she was picking up her stuff from all over his apartment. But after the logistics of separating where figured out neither of them talked to the other. (Y/N) made it clear to him, that she wasn’t interested in talking anymore. It was hard for him to accept and move on. He’d struggle to keep his mind off of his ex-lover. There were so many things that reminded him of her - so many things that he didn’t even realize before. The smell of coffee for example.
Eventhough, it was hard for Tom, his friends kept his mind occupied for long enough to relax a little and have some fun. None of them knew about the reason for their split. He told everybody it just didn’t work out between them. Only Harrison and his brothers knew the real reason of what happened. Only they saw him struggle. 
The shooting for the next Spider-Man movie would start soon, so he’d be scheduled to give some interviews. All the tabloids were of course hoping Tom would give out secret details about the movie; that they’d be the first ones to report.
“Mornin’ Mate, how’re things today?” Harrison asked his friend, when they first arrived at the car that would get them to the interview place his management had organized.
“Actually, things are great, Haz! I think today is going to be good”, Tom answered truthfully. He was looking forward to today. There was no trace of any struggle on his face. No thoughts were spent on (Y/N) since Tom woke up this morning.
Harrison was glad. He wished for his best friend to move on and be happy again.
Tom was sitting in an empty room, lost in his thoughts after several hours of interviews, when a women in a grey blazer entered the room. 
“Good afternoon, Mr. Holland”, she greeted him.
Tom was pulled back to reality.
“Good afternoon, pleasure to meet you. You can call me Tom by the way”, he greeted back. 
The women continued to set up the interview. What followed were several different variations of the same questions he had already answered throughout the day. 
While Tom enjoyed talking about his new movies, getting the same questions over and over again was getting a little boring. However, he had managed to not spoil a single thing about the movie, which he was immensely relieved about.
“So, the character of Felicia Hardy or maybe better known as Black Cat was introduced to the Spider-Man universe in the last movie. (F/N) (L/N) did an amazing job portraying her and the audience loved the new character”
Here we go again. 
Tom already knew this was coming. Every interviewer so far asked about (Y/N) and him. But he was prepared.
“Yes, (Y/N) really is an amazing actress. I’m happy I was given the chance to work with her”
 “So, you and Miss (L/N) started dating on set of the last movie but a few months ago you announced your split on social media. Last movie’s post credit scene suggested she’d be part of the new movie aswell. What do you expect returning on set, considering the current circumstances ?”, the woman continued.
Tom took a deep breath. He’s done this before.
“The split was amicable. When we realized the relationship wouldn’t work out, we mutually decided we’re better off as friends”  
Lie.
“So you two are still in contact?”
“Yes, of course. We are both busy with our schedules but we both keep in contact regularly”  
Lie.
“That’s amazing. So there won’t be any hard feelings on set”, she concluded.
“No, of course not. I’m really looking forward to seeing her again in person”  
Somewhat the truth. 
“You are one of the hottest singles on he market right now. We are dying to know: Is there anybody that has  caught your eye yet? Seeing as lately (Y/N) has been seen getting cozy with rapper Post Malone..”
WTF??
Tom tried to not show his reaction to the newly found information. He awkwardly denied having his eye on anyone at the moment and they wrapped up the interview.
Tom was grateful that that was the last interview of the day. As soon as the lady left, he stormed over to Harrison, who was just as shocked as he was. He was already on his phone searching for evidence for the lady’s claims.
“Is it true?”, Tom asked his friend.
“Seems like it...”, Harrison showed the actor his phone. A picture of (Y/N) and Post Malone outside of a restaurant, holding hands lit up his phone screen.
Tom grabbed the phone and swiped further and further. There were a few more pictures of them together. Holding hands, snuggling -  even one picture that showed them kissing.
For a second he felt a myriad of emotions cascading down upon him.
Shame. Anger. Sadness.
On one hand he felt embarrassed that he was mourning after their relationship while she was already out in the field dating around. On the other hand he felt angry. Did their relationship mean nothing to her? Was he not important to her?
And on a whole other hand he felt sad. He didn’t know what he expected but maybe there was still a little hope within him that they could get together again once the shooting would start.
But at the same time there was doubt lurking in the back of his mind. He always knew there was a discrepancy between him and her. While he was always more goofy and childlike, she was more grunge and edgy. Of course, it didn’t help that she was constantly fangirling over the musician. 
“I love a man with a clear aesthetic” is what she used to say. And who had a clearer aesthetic than Post Malone? Next to him he felt like a slice of untoasted white bread. 
“Tom?”, Harrison saw his friend spiraling.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”, Tom exclaimed. 
Lashing out on the ones he loved seemed to be a recurring theme with him lately.
Harrison pulled up his his hands in surrender.
“Calm down, mate. I didn’t know either”
Tom left to wait in the car. He was awfully quiet for the remainder of the day.
So much for today being good...
*******************************************************************************************
It’s been a few weeks since Tom started shooting. As the main actor he had to be on set before anybody else did. (Y/N) arrived a few weeks later, Black Cat was not yet one of the main characters, so there was no need for (Y/N) to be there from the beginning. 
Tom didn’t sleep well the night before (Y/N) was supposed to arrive. He has neither seen her nor talked to her since she left his apartment all those months ago. He was worried as to how to interact with her.
When Tom finally arrived on set, she was already there, chatting with Zendaya. The two of them hit it off immediately when they first met during the first movie.
When Zendaya saw Tom she grew quiet. Of course, she knew about their split but she didn’t know how he would react to seeing her for the first time after it. And she would’ve much preferred to not be present during their first meeting.
(Y/N) stopped mid-sentence and followed Zendaya’s gaze meeting Tom’s eyes, who was standing like a deer in the headlights. Eyes wide and his mouth slightly agape.
“Excuse me for a moment”, (Y/N) told her friend and made her way over to her ex-lover.
“Hello, Tom”
“Hey..”, Tom was unsure what to say.
“How’re ya? Everything good?”
She always did this. Asked how somebody was and already suggested the answer to go with.
“Yeah I’m good. And you? How’re you?”, he asked her back eventhough he already know what she was gonna answer. He just knew her like that.
“You know.. It is what it is”, she shrugged, but sent him a wink after that.
They chatted for a few more minutes about how excited she was to start shooting again, but never about anything deeper.
He didn’t ask her about her new relationship. She didn’t ask him about Melanie.
Then they parted again.
*******************************************************************************************
“You again?”, Peter in his Spider-Man suit swung onto the roof, where Felicia was tinkering around.
“Hello, Spider”, the Black Cat greeted him without looking up.
“You know? I’m actually kind of on a date right now, so maybe we could settle this quick and easy?”, Peter suggested, knowing that Michelle was waiting just at the other side of the street. When Karen notified him of an attempted break-in, he made up a quick excuse and left her standing.
The girl straightened up and started to circle Peter slowly.
“Is that your girl down there? She’s cute. I wouldn’t let her wait if I were you”, she pointed towards where Michelle was standing, looking around for Peter.
Peter furrowed his brows underneath his mask.
“Nice suit by the way”, she commented further. She only wore some black combat boots, a pair of pants, a crop top and  a tighter top underneath. All black of course. The only thing that would ever even suggest she wasn’t just an ordinary girl were the black mask she was wearing and the devices on both of her wrists, that her claws and other similar gadgets were attached to.
“I, myself, prefer to not stand out as much. Not really a look you want to achieve... as a master thief, you know?”, she continued.
“You know? Someone once told me there’s usually not this much talking in a fight”, Peter told Felicia.
“Oh but we’re not fighting, silly”, she chuckled lowly. Something about her made Peter suspicious. What was she doing?
“Well, whatever it is what we are doing. I’m stopping you!”, Peter puffed his chest up.
“There’s no need, Spider. I already got what I want”, she showed him a stunning diamond collier dangling between her fingers, “do you think this suits me?” 
She held the necklace up to her cleavage, batting her eyelashes.
Peter de-puffed his chest. He seriously began to ask himself what they were even doing.
“Listen, I can get you back to your dimension. Just give me the necklace and come with me, Felicia. I can get you back home”, Peter tried to reason with her.
The Black Cat began walking again but stopped right behind him.
“Oh but why? I like it here. How are we going to have our little rendezvous when I’m gone, Peter”, she leaned in behind him and all but whispered his name in his ear.
For a while he was silence.
“CUT!”, the director yelled, “Tom, you missed your line”.
“Everything okay?”, (Y/N) whispered. 
But Tom was kinda shaken up. The Black Cat was less sexualized as she’d be in the comics. They were supposedd to be teenagers after all. But this was (Y/N). His (Y/N). He was okay acting with her but when she was so close to him that he could feel her breath tickling his ear, he froze up. His mind drew a blank and all he could do was stand there and wish that the ground would open up and swallow him whole.
“Five minute break, everybody”, the director announced.
As everybody scattered around, (Y/N) made her way over to her ex-lover.
“Hey.. Tom, are you okay?”
“Yes, of course I’m okay!”, Tom was exasperated, “Everybody misses their line once in a while! Why is this such a big deal?”. Tom pulled his maks off.
“Okay, chill! I was just trying to make sure you’re okay. You looked shaken up. No need for you to lash out at me”, (Y/N) bit back and turned around to leave.
“Wait!”, Tom rubbed his hands over his face, “I’m sorry. I’m just a little frustrated but I shouldn’t have taken it out on you”.
(Y/N) furrowed her brows but nodded quickly after. She was never one to hold grudges.
“I care about you, Tom”
For a moment they just stood there before (Y/N) clapped her hands.
“So, let’s get our shit together and kill this scene”
*******************************************************************************************
After weeks of working together this all felt like the first time all over again. Jacob would often joke that the “gang was back together” and at times it really felt like that.
“Do you remember when Tessa literally shredded your briefs?”, (Y/N) was wheezing at that point, tears rolling down her face, smudging her mascara.
“Yes and those were literally my last clean pair. Do you remember? I just came back from the press tour”, Tom continued.
All of them burst out laughing. It was their first free evening in a while and the group decided to spend it together with a few drinks and lots of food. Both Zendaya and Jacob feared that it might be awkward having Tom and (Y/N) there together but there was no trace of any bitterness or any other kind of hard feelings. They just felt like friends hanging out together.
“Wait, this reminds me... You left your mermaid blanket at my place”
“Hm, I’ll come get it next time I’m in London”
“I mean you’re of course always welcome to swing by but I really doubt you’d want that blanket, love. Tessa kind of claimed it as hers. There is so much drool on it... you better just get a new one”, Tom told the girl, eventhough he liked the idea of her back in his apartment.
“Well, she can keep it”, (Y/N) chuckled. She did notice his use of the word ‘love’ but she didn’t mind. It felt organic coming from him, he was British after all.
After that the conversations shifted and the boys strarted their own little talks about video games and whatnot. (Y/N) and Zendaya just caught up further, talking about their projects, giving interviews and photoshoots.
It was at that moment that the music in the background changed to Circles by Post Malone.
“Soooo.. Post Malone, huh?”, Zendaya wiggled her eyebrows at her friend.
(Y/N) shrugged and smiled sheepishly.
“What can I say?”, (Y/N) really didn’t know.
“Maybe start with how you two met?”, Zendaya suggested, grinning. She was thirsty for some gossip.
At the mention of the new topic Tom perked up but tried to stay low-key.
“I mean we followed each other on social media for a while at this point but never talked or anything. However, me and him attended the same event a few months back. I guess, we recognized one another and started vibing. I asked him about that one shirt he was wearing in the ‘Go Flex’ music video and he made sure to dig it out of his closet and gave it to me. After that we just kept talking”, she tried to be nonchalant but it was apparent to the others that she was a little flustered.
“Awww, that’s so cute”, Zendaya reacted.
(Y/N) broke out grinning.
“You guys don’t realize how crazy talented he is. So fun to be around and creative, too. I’ve never met anybody that extravagant but at the same time so down to earth. Our first date was at an Olive Garden. Can you imagine? We freaking drove there in a Rolce Royce”, if this were anything other than real life, the girl would’ve had heart-eyes by now.
Tom had heard enough. He stood up abruptly.
“Anybody want another drink? I’ll get enother round”, he offered. He didn’t want to make a scene. He just needed to get away for a moment.
When he returned the topic of conversation had changed, which Tom was thankful for.
“Virgin Colada for you”, he handed (Y/N) her drink.
“And for the rest of us... The grown up drinks”, he teased (Y/N), who in return stuck her tongue out at him.
The evening was too nice to ruin it now with hurt feelings. She seemed happy and as long as he could just ignore Post Malone even existed in his sphere, he’d be alright.
*******************************************************************************************
It was a nice morning on set. Tom and (Y/N) already had an early scene that was set during sunrise, which meant they had to get up earlier than (Y/N) would’ve liked.
They were given a short break but catching up on sleep would mean getting out of their costumes and messing up their hair and make up. So, not an option really.
“I don’t operate well when I’m tired”, (Y/N) whined as she and an Tom returned to where the trailers were standing.
“M’lady, may I invite you for a cup of coffee? It might lift your spirits”, Tom bowed down but looked up at the girl with a cheeky grin.
“You realize the coffee is free, right?”, (Y/N) deadpanned.
Tom shrugged and both burst out laughing, bickering on their way to the catering.
The others were already there, when they arrived. But they were not just on their own. Next to Zendaya stood a  young man and a women, that seemed to be a little older than them.
“Morning, guys, how did your scene go?”, Jacob greeted the new arrivals.
“It’s been good. Too early though.. I mean if you ask me at least”, (Y/N) answered.
“How are you?”, Tom asked.
“Everything good?”, (Y/N) added.
“Can’t complain”, Zendaya answered, “let me introduce you to my family. This is my mom, Claire. And this is my brother, Austin”
Zendaya was grinning from ear to ear. 
They were around the halfway point of shooting, which was usually when people liked their friends and family to come around and visit them.
(Y/N) mimicked her friend’s smile and greeted the visitors. It was nice meeting the family behind the actors and creators.
While Tom was greeting Zendaya’s family, (Y/N) turned towards her with her eyebrows raised.
“Girl, your brother is mighty fine”, she not so subtly murmured.
“It must be nice to have your family here”, Tom turned to Zendaya.
“Yes, of course. I’ve missed them so much”, she squeezed her mothers hand, “do you have any visits arranged?”
“Uh, no. Not yet. But I do have a little while to go still”, he answered.
“(Y/N), you must be excited for next week, right?”, Jacob asked the actress.
“Why? What happens next week?”, Tom was puzzled.
“Austin is visiting”, (Y/N) informed him.
The Brit raised his eyebrows.
“You’re kidding right?”, he was looking around, waiting for someone to tell him this was just an unfunny joke.
“No, why would I be?”, his ex-girlfriend inquired.
“Because this is low, (Y/N). Really low even”, Tom grunted, “I need to get out of here”.
With that he left the group standing and stormed away.
“I’m sorry, (Y/N). I didn’t mean to stirr anything up”, Jacob scrambled for an apology. He didn’t mean to ruin the mood.
“No. Don’t feel sorry, Jacob. I’m tired of walking on eggshells around him. We are adults. I’ve moved on and he should too. Just give him a little time to calm down”, she assured him.
Then she turned towards the buffet had had her breakfast. 
The following week was a little strange. (Y/N) felt bad for Tom but she was so done with making apologies. 
The both of them still worked fine together but other than that they were a little distanced. They still talked and they still hung out as a group but whatever progress the two of them have made so far was out of the window. The tension, however, did help their fighting scenes together.
(Y/N) was sad about losing Tom as a friend but she also realized she couldn’t expect them to still be friends after she broke up with him. Being civil was enough for her -  at least for the moment.
*******************************************************************************************
(Y/N) was giddy on the morning Austin was suppsoed to arrive. She really did miss him and with the Tom situation going on, she felt especially estranged from  everything.
The musician arrived just as (Y/N) had finished her final scene for the day. She was still in costume but that didn’t stop her from sprinting over to her new boyfriend and clinging onto him.
“Austin!”, she squealed.
He engulfed her in a hug, swallowing her body completely. 
“I missed you”, he whispered into her neck. 
“Ahem...”
(Y/N) heard someone clear their throat from behind her. When she turned around, she saw Zendaya, Jacob and Tom waiting impatiently. In Tom’s case, however, he just looked more annoyed at the public display of affection.
“Don’t you want to introduce us?”, Zendaya suggested. She, too, was excited to meet Post Malone, who was one of the most successful musicians at the moment.
“Yes, of course. Austin, those are Zendaya, Jacob and Tom. Guys, this is Austin”, she introduced everybody.
“Dude, it’s so dope to meet all y’all. Being on set of Spider-Man is so surreal”, Posty beamed. He was never one to be shy around new people.
“Hey, can I leave you here for a second? How about I go change and then we go have dinner?”, (Y/N) suggested.
“Fine by me”, her boyfriend shrugged and (Y/N) left them to go change.
When she returned they were still stood there talking about god knows what. Tom looked a little displeased but other than that there was no indicator for anything other than a friendly conversation.
Austin put his arm her shoulder when she reached them but didn’t stop his conversation until Zendaya ended her sentence.
“All good? We ready to leave?”, he turned towards her and pressed a kiss on the crown of her head, as he was way taller than the girl.
Tom pulled a face when he did that, but tried to get it together before anybody could notice.
“So, are you guys joining us?”, Austin asked the group.
“Can’t unfortunately”, Jacob answered for them.
“Still got some scenes that need to be shot today”, Tom added. This was probably the first time he was thankful for his busy schedule. He didn’t think he could stand seeing them together. Especially seeing how affectionate they were with each other. There was no use in denying it anymore. He was jealous. And why was that? Because he was still in love with (F/N) (L/N).
“Aww that’s too bad, man. But next time for sure, ye?”, the rapper answered before they all said their goodbyes and parted.
At night after dinner (Y/N) and Austin were lying in bed talking about everything that they have missed out on the other’s everyday lives. Music, shooting, friends and family...
“So, how have you been? You told me you’re worried it’d be weird interacting with your ex again but he seems pretty nice to me”, Post asked the girl.
She was tracing his exposed tattoos with her finger, something he really enjoyed. Austin wasn’t always the most confident in his looks but that didn’t matter to her. 
“He is”, she finally answered, “he’s a great guy. Usually very sweet and caring.. I think maybe him and me could be friends again..”
“Wow. Seems like you miss him. Should I be worried?”, he looked down at her.
She was still concentrated on his tattoos on his chest, when he said that but looked up at him to answer.
“No. Of course n-”, she started to deny but that was already enough for him to flip them over and pepper her with kisses and tickles, making her squeal and flail around, trying to escape his grasp.
*******************************************************************************************
It’s been a few days since (Y/N)’s new boyfriend arrived and Tom hated to admit it, but Austin Post was actually a decent guy, that he would probably even like if it wasn’t for him being with his ex-girlfriend, that he was very much still in love with. Austin’s likeability made Tom dislike him even more though. It would be so much easier if he were just an overall unpleasant bloke.
“So, Austin, how long are you staying?”, Zendaya asked him over breakfast.
“Uh just a couple more days”, he answered with his mouth still half full.
“Ah that’s nice. So you’ll still be here when Melanie arrives”, Tom spoke up.
(Y/N) almost broke her neck whipping her head around at the mention of that name.
She slammed down her cutlery, stood up and gestured for Tom to follow her, which he did.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?”, she yelled once she was out of earshot.
“What’s wrong with me?”, Tom whipped around.
The girl was surprised by his outburst.
“Don’t you think it’s a little class-less to literally fly out your new guy?”, his tone turned condescending.
“Goddamnit, Tom! Are we still not over that? Everybody is flying their loved ones out, why shouldn’t I?”, (Y/N) was getting fired up now.
“I could ask you the same question, (Y/N). I’m merely having a good friend of mine visit me. What’s the difference?”
“The difference is, Tom, that you flew her out out of spite. You had no intention to have her visit you, before you found out that Austin was going to come visit. We are broke up. Do you expect me to stay single forever?”
“Well, you got over me awfully fast, didn’t you Sweetheart?”, he spat the last part, not even denying her accusation. (Y/N) couldn’t help but notice how handsome he looked with his hair unkempt from ruffling it in his frustration, but she chose to ignore those feelings bubbling up inside of her.
“Well, you made it awfully easy for me, Sweetheart!”, she mimicked him.
“And why is that? Because I helped a friend? Your jealousy ruined this relationship,(Y/N)!”, Tom didn’t mean what he said but he was too hurt to care at the moment.
“Yes, of course. I ruined this relationship. It wasn’t the fact that you literally moved in another girl?”, (Y/N) was being unfair now. She didn’t have a problem with Melanie at all. She never made a move at Tom or gave (Y/N) any other reason to disklike her. She was actually a really sweet girl. But (Y/N) was too hurt to care at the moment.
“You’re seriously worried about me having cheated on you? He is fucking rapper! What do you think he does when he’s on tour?”, Tom threw up his hands.
“Austin hasn’t given me any reason to doubt him. He’s been nothing but amazing to me. That’s more that I could say for you”, she dug at him.
To say that this didn’t hurt would’ve been a lie. Tom was taken aback for a moment before he just muttered a ‘fine’ and left her standing.
From then on it was radio silence between the two of them.  (Y/N) was looking forward to the end of shooting. When she broke up with Tom, she didn’t anticipate this all to blow up in their faces like this. She didn’t want to create a hostile environment for anybody. She knew for a fact that Zendaya and Jacob felt uncomfortable with the current situation. They felt like the victims of a bad divorce. And even Tom seemed to be more down than she had seen him in a while.
(Y/N) greeted Melanie when she arrived but other than that she kept to herself. She dreaded the day Austin had to leave again because that would mean she’d be alone with Tom and Melanie.
Tom was happy to have Mel with him again. (Y/N) wasn’t the only one that was feeling bad about the whole situation. Instead of connecting with her again, he had just driven her away further.
However, neither of them could let go of their resentment. Both of them were desperate to get some kind of reaction out of the other.
“Here, Mel. You really gotta try these! They taste amazing”, Tom held his spoon out for Melanie to try the tasty dessert. Them sharing food wasn’t something out of the ordinary for them but usually Tom wouldn’t spoon-feed his friends. At this moment, though, he tried to be as animated as possible to make sure (Y/N) noticed.
And she did notice. It took a lot from her to not give him the reaction he was gunning for. Instead she made it a point to get really cozy with her new boyfriend to show her ex that she wasn’t bothered at all.
“Babe, not that I don’t enjoy making out with you but I know you’re doing this to get back at Tom”, Austin murmured in his lover ear after they parted their kiss. His husky voice was sending goosebumps down her spine - not least because  she knew he was right.
“You should talk to him”
*******************************************************************************************
”Tom,  can we talk?”, it took (Y/N) a great deal of convincing herself to make her way over to him.
Tom was surprised, he didn’t expect her to ever speak to him again but complied.
They made their way over to her trailer and sat down inside of it. Neither of them said a word.  (Y/N) didn’t know why she was feeling so nervous. It’s just Tom. 
Get yourself together, damnit. Deep breath and go...
“Tom.. I’m sorry”, she already had thought exactly of what what she was going to say but at the moment drew a complete blank.
“What for?”, Tom was being huffy.
“Everything. You are right. I shouldn’t have just flown Austin out. I should have at least talked to you beforehand. I really didn’t mean to hurt you...”
“Me neither”,  Tom softened up.
For a moment they just sat in silence, but for the first time since they started shooting it wasn’t uncomfortable at all.
“I miss you, you know”, he looked up from his lap and into her eyes. She was about to answer, when he silenced her.
“I miss you so damn much and I hate seeing you with him. He seems like a great dude but (Y/N) be honest with me... Do you really love him?”
(Y/N) was taken aback. She did not expect that sort of question now.
“I.. I do”, she answered truthfully. Tom’s face fell. How could he be so stupid and still hope there’d be a future for them that’s anything but friendly.
“But it’s not the same... I love him. He’s amazing but he’s not you”
She felt so terrible for saying that. Austin has been nothing but loving to her and they haven’t fought once in all that time that they were together but being around Tom again showed her that there was something missing.
Tom perked up, he couldn’t believe his ears but when he properly registered her words a show stopping grin found it’s way on his face.
“That’s amazing. I mean not for him obviously but.. you know what I mean", Tom was excited. They could start over again and be better than they were before. 
He noticed that (Y/N) didn’t share the same excitement as him.
“Love, are you okay? Are you not happy?”, Tom scooted closer to her.
“No, I am. It’s just, we can’t just pick up where we left off, Tom. We.. we.. Austin wasn’t the problem that broke us up to begin with. We can’t ignore everything that has been going on”, sounded desperate. It’s true though. Just because she didn’t feel the same way for her new boyfriend as she felt for Tom, didn’t mean all their other problems were gone.
Tom craddled her face in his hands.
“Darling, it’s going to be okay. Look at me. We won’t do the same mistakes again, okay?”, Tom leaned his forehead against hers. (Y/N) was always a rather anxious person that needed to be calmed down frequently, when she was freaking out.
She took a deep breath and relaxed into his touch. It was nice to feel his skin against hers again.
“You okay?”, Tom asked.
She nodded and a small smile found it’s way on her face.
At this moment Tom couldn’t resist anymore. It’s been too long that he had felt her lips against his but just as he was about to lean in she pulled back.
“What are you doing? Tom, I’m still in a relationship... It wouldn’t be fair to Austin if we’d started foolin aroung behind his back. Let me at least talk to him before we properly make-up”
Tom did feel a little disappointed but understood what she was saying.
“Not even a little peck?”, he tried but shut up when (Y/N) shot him a warning look. One could try...
Both of them exited her trailer. While (Y/N) made her way over to where Post was waiting, Tom joined Melanie and his co-stars again. Tom’s good mood didn’t go unnoticed though.
“What got you all smiles?”, Zendaya teased.
“I may or may not have made up with (Y/N)”, Tom bragged in a sing-song voice.
“Wait what? When did that happen? Not that I’m not happy for you but last time I saw her she was making out with Post Malone”, Zendaya was thrown off by the newly found information and while Tom explained the situation (Y/N) had to break the news to Austin.
She didn’t want to have this conversation but she was confident that she was naking the right decision.
“Hey, Babe. Did you two talk it out?”, Austin looked up from his phone when his girl approached him.
“Austin? Can we talk?”, it was the second time today that she would have to use that phrase. She couldn’t but to think how cliche she sounded.
“Oh oh. That doesn’t sound good”, his smile faded, “you’re not breaking up with me, are you?”
There was no need for her to answer his question because as soon as she teared up he got his answer.
“Nononono. Don’t cry, please”, he tried to soothe her which made her feel even worse. Why was he being so nice to her?
“What happened, (Y/N)?”
“We talked”
“I figured that much”
Ouch..
“Well, I apologized and so did he. We kinda made up”
“There is probably no use trying to convince you otherwise, huh?”, Austin had already admitted defeat.
“Probably not”
“I never stood a chance, did I? It’s always been him...”, he huffed out a laugh. He sounded disappointed but he was coping.
“That’s not true. I think you are one of the most remarkable people I’ve ever had the fortune of meeting but ...”
“But I’m not him”, Austin ended her sentence for her.
“I’m so sorry. I really do love you but being on set with him again just brought back all those feelings”
Both were just sitting there for a moment.
“But we’re still friends right?”, Austin broke the silence, looking at the girl across from him.
(Y/N) blinked for a few times.
“Of course”, she was so perplexed. She didn’t expect him to not be pissed at her. He chuckled when he saw how confused the girl was. He wasn’t  mad at her. She had feelings for someone else. That’s something out of her control. He did however still want to have her in his life - even if it’d be just as friends.
“C’mere”, he held out his arms and engulfed her in a massive bear hug.
“I don’t understand. You’re not angry?”
“No, how could I? We’re cool”, he reassured her, “but I can’t promise I won’t write a song ot two about you”
“Well, I can’t blame you”
They both had a laugh about it but then the atmosphere became a little more serious again.
“I should go”, Austin broke the silence.
“You don’t have to”
“No front, but, (Y/N), I really don’t want to see you with Tom. At least not at the moment”, he explained to her. 
(Y/N) just nodded. She didn’t want to make things worse for him. While he took the news like a pro, she could still see that he was hurt. He was not about to fight a battle he already knew he couldn’t win but it really wasn’t a good feeling to be left for someone else either.
The two of them hugged it out for a little while longer and then Austin made his way to leave the set back to his hotel room to pack his bags and fly home.
He stopped to say goodbye to the others. Eventhough he would rather not see Tom at the moment, just leaving without a word would be rude. Also, he was not about to leave with his tail between his legs. He was Post Malone after all.
When he approached the others their conversation died down and Tom’s bright smile disappeared completely. There was no way for him to know how the rapper would react. But the latter decided to not say anything at all. 
Austin said his goodbyes and turned to leave but before he left, he told Tom something only they could hear.
*******************************************************************************************
Back in her hotel room, (Y/N) tried to relax after the long day she just had. The last time she was this exhausted was ages ago.
At the moment, she was getting ready to take a shower and go snuggle up in bed to get some sleep before she had to leave to shoot the next morning.
Just as she was about to hop under the warm, relaxing water, there was a knock on her door. (Y/N) didn’t expect anybody this late but she had an idea who it could be.
“Hello, Tom”, she greeted her lover.
“Can I come in? Or am I interrupting something?”, the actor looked the girl up and down. He couldn’t help but have his eyes linger a little as he couldn’t help but notice she was only dressed in a towel at the moment.
“I was just about to have a shower but you’re welcome to come in and wait”, she told him.
As he closed the door behind him she turned around and added, “or you could join me of course”
She made it sound like an option but that opportunity was too good for Tom to pass up.
Being underneath the water with him just felt right. He was a little taller than her so the water from his hair dripped down on her face as they were standing chest to chest. He leaned down and his lips met hers. She started smiling into the kiss nefore they parted.
“I missed this”, Tom’s voice was husky.
She did too. She wasn’t a fool, there was still a  lot to work through but at this very moment everything just felt right. His body against hers felt right. His lips on hers felt right. Them together... felt so right.
“I love you, Tom” 
*******************************************************************************************
Epilogue
Both of them were cuddled in bed dressed in the white, fluffy bathrobes the hotel provided, talking about anything and everything with the occasional kiss in between.
“It’s two o’clock already. We should really go to sleep if we want to be able to function tomorrow”, she reminded her boyfriend.
“At this point, I am tempted to pull an all-nighter, love”, he winked at her.
“An all-nighter doing what exactly?”, (Y/N) teased her man.
“You know? Before Post left he told me to be good to you and I think that’s exactly  what I will be doing tonight”
“I really don’t think that’s what he meant, babe”, she laughed.
“Close enough for me”, he murmured as he leaned down to kiss her once again but most definitely not for the last time that night.
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ultrahpfan5blog · 4 years ago
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Rewatching TDK Trilogy
Easily my favorite superhero trilogy and arguably one of my favorite trilogies of all time. I think in terms of superhero trilogies, Captain America is the one that comes closest because I love all three movies, but they aren’t a trilogy in the normal sense in that Civil War is essentially Avengers 2.5 and neither Civil War nor Winter Soldier can be understood without having watched Avengers and Age of Ultron. But even putting that aside, I adore TDK trilogy and it still ranks as my favorite superhero movies. The trilogy, obviously starting with Batman Begins, is what put introduced me to Nolan. I hadn’t seen Memento and Insomnia till then so Batman Begins was literally my first introduction to him.
I was always a big Batman fan as a huge follower of the DCAU cartoons with Kevin Conroy voicing a really badass Batman throughout the 90′s and into the early 2000′s. While I enjoyed the first 4 Batman movies as a kid, yes even B&R, I always wanted to see the more somber version from the cartoons. Batman Begins hit me at the perfect time where I started to have longer attention spans and wasn’t just looking for the next action scene. Rewatching the movie, it amazes me that Batman doesn’t show up for half the movie. I think that was a really brave call given pretty much all previous Batman movies introduced Batman almost immediately. I genuinely love all the prelude to Bruce becoming Batman. I liked that we got to see his training extensively and we are introduced to the city and see the dynamics of the rich and the poor, the police, the mob, the lawyers etc... It really gives Gotham a very grounded personality. I think Nolan really killed it at the casting level. By getting Caine as Alfred, Freeman as Fox, and Oldman as Gordon, he created a superbly acted support structure around Bruce/Batman, so we aren’t just always waiting for Bruce to show up. On top of that, they had Liam Neeson as Ra’s, who is effortlessly compelling, as well as other strong supporting actors like Cillian Murphy as a scene stealing Scarecrow, Tom Wilkinson as Falcone, Rutger Hauer as Earle etc... All giving personality to a difference facet of the city and Bruce’s life. But this truly is Bale’s movie. I didn’t know him at all prior to this film, but I have been a fan ever since. He carries the movie on his shoulders and he delivers the ferociousness of Batman and the humanity of Bruce Wayne effortlessly. If there is someone who doesn’t make a big impression, its Katie Holmes. I didn’t find her terrible, but rather the character isn’t exactly well written which bleeds into the next movie with Maggie Gyllenhall as well. My favorite Batman performance. Rewatching, what surprised me the most is the amount of humor in the movie. This is actually reflective of the entire trilogy. The movies deal with darkness and death, but there is actually plenty of humor sprinkled throughout these movies which prevent it from being dour. There have been a lot of superhero origin stories, but this still remains the gold standard of superhero origin stories. A 9/10 for me.
There is nothing I can say about The Dark Knight that hasn’t been said a 100 times over. It quite literally is the best comic book movie of all time. But it basically is at heart a drama about Gotham. Whereas BB acts as a character centric piece, this film is about all the characters living in Gotham. Arguable, the character that has the biggest arc in the film is Harvey Dent. Again, the casting department knocked it out of the park with the casting of Aaron Eckhart as Harvey Dent. Unfortunately, Eckhart never really capitalized on his performance here because he really was terrific in the film, both as Harvey and as Two-Face, to the point where you wished you had more of Two-Face. Gary Oldman gave his best work in the trilogy in this movie. The desperation as the situation spins out of control is fabulous. Freeman also has a very meaty role in the movie and continues to add a lot of weight to the scenes as well as plenty of humor, as does Michael Caine. Christian Bale continued to be terrific. There were some complaints about his voice, which I feel have been overexaggerated over the years. I definitely think his Begins voice is better, but barring one or two scenes, I never really had an issue with Bale’s voice in this film. He delivers a very nuanced performance. Maggie Gyllenhaal took over from Katie Holmes in TDK and while I think she is a far better actress than Katie Holmes, I think the character itself is not very well written. In both movies, Rachel comes off as very judgmental. Whereas in BB I can understand her reason in being so, given Bruce was ready to commit murder and later was out being a playboy in front of her for the sake of appearances, in this movie she is judgmental towards Bruce even though she knows what he has been doing to help the city. Also, she did come off a bit flaky in the whole Bruce/Rachel/Harvey triangle. And then there is Heath Ledger. There are very few performances that I consider perfect. This is one of them. I think every choice Ledger makes in this movie, be it intentional or unintentional, works amazingly well. Like him licking his lips to keep the make up on. It just adds a creepy quality to his character, even if it is completely unintentional. There are so many ticks and quirks in Ledger’s performance that make this a phenomenal performance. I don’t see any villain performance having matches that since 2008. I think the closest I have seen prior to that is Anthony Hopkins as Hannibal Lector in Silence of the Lambs. It really is a performance that adds such a big extra edge to the movie. I love that Nolan sticks to certain details such as Bruce never actually drinking alcohol and throwing it away at the part and then Joker showing up and taking a glass and him spilling almost all of it. It gives a lot of personality to the characters. If I have any complaint about the movie, it is that Bruce does at times feel like a stationary character as he does not have as big of an arc as a Harvey Dent. And if you want, you can pick apart the holes in the series of events that happen that cause the chaos. But the drama of the film is just so intense that you forget all of that behind. I give it a 9.5/10
The Dark Knight Rises to me is the film that gets often maligned just because it isn’t TDK. And that is a crazy yardstick to compare it to. But as a movie on its own, its pretty damn awesome. TDKR is where the film truly steps away from being a version of the comics to being an Elseworld story with Batman having been absent for 8 years and then Bruce retiring and leaving Gotham at the end of the movie. But I don’t think there was any way for Nolan to close out his trilogy without it becoming an Elseworld story and it really didn’t matter because I always figured that as long as Bruce is out there, if Gotham needed him, he would come back. Its not as if there aren’t existing comic book stories of Bruce having retired or left being Batman behind. Again, there is some superb new casting. JGL ends up being surprising integral and he is terrific. Tom Hardy is awesome as Bane. He manages to provide a terrifying presence. I actually loved his voice. I love that a terrifying brute of a man has a polite, gentlemanly sounding voice. It gave him a unique personality. Marion Cotillard is pretty good as Talia/Miranda. She has an awkwardly filmed death scene but she’s good throughout the rest of the film, particularly during the reveal scene. But the casting of the movie for me was Anne Hathaway as Selina Kyle. I knew Anne Hathaway mostly from the Princess Bride movies till then even though she had gotten an academy award nomination by then. But I really didn’t envisage her as Selina Kyle but she blew me out of the water with her performance. She was seductive, yet very likable. I love the clever costume design of her goggles looking like cat ears when she puts them up. I also love Nolan’s version of the Lazarus Pit. Certainly Bruce’s climb out of the pit is one of the most compelling scenes of the movie. You truly feel the emotion. The film also has one of the best acted scenes I have scene between Michael Caine and Christian Bale in the hallway. Its the scene I remember first whenever I think about TDKR. Oscar quality acting by both in that scene. The returning cast is all terrific but Michael Caine has a few gut wrenching scenes, including this one and the scene at the funeral at the end. Oldman and Freeman continue to be stalwarts throughout the movie, I really admire that Nolan did not waste these actors and given them very substantial roles in all the movies and all these actors really respected the material to not sleep walk through the roles. I think Bale’s performance here rivals his performance in Begins. Particularly in the scenes in the Pit. You get to see a full range of emotions, from pain, to despair, to anger, to hope. Its a superb performance. The film isn’t flawless. Its just a tad too long and there is some clunky editing at times. None of the three films can be said to contain very memorable action sequences because Nolan is not known to have great action sequences in his film until more recently, but the drama in the action negates that. Like, the Bane vs Batman fight where Bane breaks Batman, isn’t the greatest action scene in terms of fight choreography, but there is a lot weight to these characters which is what makes it incredibly compelling. Same is true to an extent for the climax at the end. When Batman beats Bane, I felt a sense of satisfaction after what I had witnessed in the previous fight. Overall, I genuinely feel that I love the last act of TDKR the most out of all three films. The Batplane, Batpod, and Tumbler chase scene was thrilling and it was cool to watch all three Bat vehicles in operation. The ending montage also ends the movie on a real uplifting note for all characters, which is very satisfying. I really love the movie. A 9/10.
It has to be said that Zimmer’s score across all three films contributes enormously to these movies. All in all, these set of movies are still my favorite superhero movies and my favorite Nolan movies till date.
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marnie1964 · 4 years ago
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Karate Kid/Cobra Kai survey
i'm gonna consider myself tagged
It’s the year 2021 and you’re obsessed with The Karate Kid. How are you feeling?: an unexpected turn of events but it's passing the quarantine, i guess!
Did you grow up with TKK or are you new to the series?:  to be completely honest, i don't really like the movies? i didn't vibe with them as a kid and when i went back and tried to watch them this year i couldn't make it all the way through.* i think they're well crafted movies, but i've never liked relatable young boy wish fulfillment (i couldn't even get thru harry potter as a kid), and i think the first one is guilty of burying the lede twice over with regards to mr. miyagi and later the relationship between kreese and johnny. and lucky me--these are exactly the areas that cobra kai delivers on.
*except for the third one, which imo is a camp masterpiece and also genuinely heartbreaking. it's the only one that allows daniel to be an genuine pain in the ass. i think i've finally figured out what the target audience for cobra kai is: people who's favorite karate kid movie was tkk3 (me).
We gotta do the basics. Favorite character: johnny! what is a man but a miserable pile of bruce springsteen lyrics? or aimee mann lyrics? or mountain goats lyrics? or otis redding lyrics? or--fuck, have americans ever written songs about anyone else? i have an unreal amount of good will towards this man and his late-life struggle for recuperation. he's the heart of the show both in terms of his relationships with other characters and in terms of zabka's chemistry with the other actors.
my deep dark double secret fave is kreese. he makes me feel real anger in a way that's usually reserved for characters in vince gilligan shows. i'm a bit obsessed with him and his preoccupation with johnny and later johnny's teenaged son (I Have Thoughts). the show does a great job of making what he did to johnny--and all the years and years and years of fallout from that--feel really real, which makes him one of the most viscerally despicable villains i've ever come across . it's unironically among the best portrayals of domestic abuse i've seen, may god have mercy on our souls. the decision to pop out from behind a fucking cardboard cutout of himself to scare daniel in tkk3 was also a hilarious galaxy brain move. aspirational stuff.
also--shout out to daniel-san. the writers really had to work their asses off to make him into a character that appeals to me, and i think they did a great job of it. he's a cringey tool who's capable of displaying a surprising amount of integrity under the right circumstances! he's tom wambsgans! he's pete campbell! he's wonderful i love him!
Favorite ship:  johnny & daniel (what if mysterious skin was a sports comedy??)
Underrated character: the True and Correct answer to this question can only be aisha, although i don't think she was actually underrated by anyone besides the writers. chozen is also lowkey my favorite katate child because c'mon, he had everything (spear fights! ziplines! teen death matches! formfitting disco-era polyester button down shirts worn with gold chains!)
Underrated ship (don’t say therapy, lol):  uhhhh... the only teen couple that could have been interesting is tory/aisha. they were cute together and their friendship rang true to me. it's that thing where you're the new girl and you're conventionally attractive, but on the inside you know you're a freak so you immediately gravitate towards the most obvious female outsider. i lived it, bay-bey!
i also think there are interesting things to explore with carmen and johnny's relationship. i don't know if the writers are even aware of it (i lean towards no b/c men amirite) but the entire premise of carmen's character is that she chose to live in poverty to protect herself and her son from a bad man with power. she's thereby the exact opposite of johnny's mother, who (at least by his understanding) married hollywood film producer shmarvey shmeinstein to provide her son with a better life. so, there's a lot to unpack in his attraction to her. also they're super hot hur hur i like sexy nurse thing hur hur.
Wax On, Wax Off or Sweep the Leg?: i can't look directly at it, but sweep the leg. zabka what the fuck man.
Which of Daniel’s dumb little outfits is your favorite?:  i don't think i've seen anyone mention this one yet, but the football jersey with the sweatpants. it makes him look so small and huggable, i wanna pick him up and set him on my shelf or something.
Character from the films you most want to return, who’s not Terry Silver: bring back ali's lesbian girl gang!!! or else--dutch. he was funny and iconic, i loved his exaggerated offended reaction to everything daniel said or did in tkk. also, i'm tacky so i'm a sucker for aggressively bleach blonde hair. the SCANDALIZED wasp couple standing behind ali and johnny in the spaghetti scene will also do. or terry's secretary (an mvp--i believe the original actress has passed away so in my heart of hearts she's portrayed by j. smith-cameron).
Scene that lives in your head rent-free: the whole character development speed run that johnny does from sweep the leg to crying while handing daniel the trophy to getting strangled in the parking lot by his beloved teacher. i'm especially transfixed by that last bit--what's the thought process of a man who decides to publicly execute his teenage student via strangulation? why did none of the many bystanders call the police? johnny is the real kitty genovese, prison for everyone.
from the cobra kai series proper: daniel's decision to greet johnny with a big hug after not seeing him for 35 years and never actually being friends with him (I Have Thoughts), the heinously creepy scene where johnny is repeating the cobra kai mantra for miguel and his entire disposition completely changes (demonic possession shit), and johnny's tiny go-ahead-and-kill-my-abuser nod (his face is so stoney after being so animated at dinner) coupled with daniel's shaky little sign of relief (macchio is really the cutest when he looks scared).
it goes without saying that every johnny & miguel scene lives rent free in my HEART.
Will Anthony LaRusso ever be relevant?: anthony becomes relevant for one (1) episode next season when amanda and daniel finally get around to putting him up for adoption.
You live in The Valley and are forced into the karate gang war.  Which dojo do you join?:  i enter the cobra kai dojo decked out in all of my snake-themed clothing and jewelry (it's a lot). i approach kreese and explain to him that the open mouth of a snake, viewed head-on, is a yonic symbol. i am permanently banned from the cobra kai dojo.
(seriously though, assuming i'm a teen in this scenario i think i would have vibed with tory/miguel/aisha. dimitri and sam would have driven high school me up the fucking wall though. the cobra kai style looks like more fun/better exercise. do i also genuinely believe most young girls could actually benefit from someone yelling no mercy down their neck? maybe so 💖)
What’s your training montage song?:  50ft queenie - pj harvey (it takes place in the alison bechdel feminist karate dojo ofc)
It’s the crossover event of the century! Which TV show are you combining with Cobra Kai for an hour-long Saturday night special?: it's a full episode flashback to the time johnny got arrested in albuquerque, new mexico. johnny's court-appointed attorney is a weirdly hot babe who seems like a super straight laced killjoy at first, but soon reveals herself to be an unhinged woman. one thing leads to another, and johnny winds up in bed with her and her loser husband. there are lots of great themes about punitive justice, people's ability to change for the better (and worse), and what makes someone "good" or "bad" to begin with, but mostly it's just really hot sex. the husband tries to sell johnny a prepaid cellphone and johnny tell's him that cellphones are never gonna catch on, cause who want's to be bothered by people all the time like that?
better call saul. it's a better call saul crossover ep.
(fwiw think that greg 'hbo succession' hirsch should also be terry's cousin greg on the non-roy side. think about it--the roys are small people, but cousin greg is really tall?? and who else is really tall, and a blue eyed brunette to boot? terry silver. it all adds up! this never becomes relevant to the plot, in any case, i'm just considering it canon until the writers come to my house and explicitly tell me i'm wrong.)
Tagging: anyone who's interested 😘
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pale-cheezit · 3 years ago
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Can you answer every 5th question from your 216-question ask post? Thanks!
Girl you're killin me lol. I'm bored though so thanks for giving me something to do!! I know I'm really late posting this but oh well. Thanks for the ask :)
5) Book/series I reread?
My favorite author is Tana French and I've reread her books a few times. I've reread the book "The Shack" by William P. Young a few times as well. I'm sure there's more that I'm forgetting right now.
10) The word that I use all the time to describe something great?
Probably fuck. As in, "that's fucking great" or "this is fucking awesome" or something like that lol
15) Last song I listened to?
Some new Five Finger Death Punch song that was on the radio
20) Favorite video games?
Probably New Super Mario Bros
25) Actor/actress you trust enough to watch whatever they’re in?
Ooof... I can't think of any off the top of my head. I have some actors that I like that make me go "oh theyre in this movie, it might be good" but I don't think I ever really watch anything just because of a certain actor.
30) Eye color?
Blueish/greenish. Changes colors sometimes depending on what I'm wearing.
35) Am I excited about anything?
Not really.
40) What do I think about most?
I swing wildly between thinking about insignificant nonsense and everything I'm worried/anxious about (my very uncertain future and what to do with myself and mental health shit I'm going through) and I think about my loved ones a lot too!
45) Last film I watched?
The Hunchback of Notre Dame lol
50) How do I destress?
I'm pretty good at pushing things out of my mind when I want to or need to (a blessing and a curse) Also smoke weed. Idk, feels like I'm always stressed about something in the back of my mind.
55) Play any sports?
I don't anymore but I played volleyball for almost 10 years of my life. Good times. I miss those days.
60) Pet peeve?
People that put masks on their kids.
65) What fictional universe would I like to be a part of?
Friskies world from the cat food commercial of course
70) Can I sing?
I think I can sing ok. I'm not amazing but also not horrible.
75) Where do I want to live?
Away from people and traffic!!! I hate how close together the houses are in the suburbs. But I don't want to be so far in the middle of nowhere that I have to drive hours to get groceries. Idk, maybe I wouldn't mind that after awhile, I'd probably get used to it. I just want my own land and to be able to walk out the back door and have my own personal shooting range on my property.
80) Can I drive?
Yeah. Can't drive stick though. I should learn.
85) Favorite genre of music?
Rock
90) Favorite sporty activity?
Uhhh like walking or hiking I guess. Baseball definitely.
95) How tall am I?
5'7"
100) Do I have more girl friends or boy friends?
I have NO friends lol
105) Last person I texted?
My mom
110) Do I like selfies?
Eh sort of. If I'm feeling good about myself, I might take a few but that's rare for me these days. I like to take pictures of much more interesting things instead! Selfies are boring!
115) Favorite number?
8 I guess
120) Am I much of a daredevil?
Depends on the situation and the mood I'm in. I can be. We all got a little daredevil in us if we drink enough lol
125) The Beatles or Elvis?
Elvis
130) Favorite piece of advice?
Hmm....Anything Jordan Peterson says is usually great advice lol. But I guess simple things like be yourself, enjoy the small things in life, never miss a good chance to shut up, others can inspire and support you- but only you can save yourself, assume you know nothing, listen to your elders cause they know a thing or two about life (SOMETIMES)
135) Do I like gossip?
Eh not really. It depends. I know I'm guilty of it because that's all women be doin but you can definitely cross a line with that stuff and some people have issues with that and that shit can be annoying. it's definitely something I try not to do too much because I wouldn't want others to gossip about me behind my back
140) Do I believe people are capable of change?
I'd like to think so. I mean, I think its not ALWAYS the case. There's definitely people that wont or cant change but there's also plenty of people that are willing to put in the work and have changed themselves and their lives.
145) In a film about my life, who would I cast as myself, friends and family?
Bitch nobody could play me or my family better than me or my family
150) What is the best decision I have made in life so far?
I honestly don't know. I thought of a few different things and realized none of them were really decisions I 100% made for myself /: I've had a life so far that's been filled with other people making decisions for me. Kind of one of my problems I gotta work on. I guess I would say choosing to finally leave the shitty relationship I was in but he kind of left me in the end so it wasn't completely my decision. There's probably a bunch of small decisions I've made in the past that turned out great for me that I'm just forgetting right now.
155) Who is the most intelligent person I know?
I used to think my brother was because he was a genius child but then I grew up and realized there's a lot of different ways to be intelligent. I was gonna say Jordan Peterson but I dont actually know him lol. It's a hard question for me because I truly believe people are intelligent in so many different ways and Ive met many people that are smart in some ways but dumb in others. I guess my Dad would make the list if I had to pick someone.
160) What color mostly dominates my wardrobe?
BLUE
165) Do I believe in fate?
I think so. I think we can change our fate though too.
170) One of my favorite quotes?
"those who would give up essential liberty, to purchase a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety."- Ben Franklin
"unable are the loved to die, for love is immortality"- Emily Dickinson
I have a TON of favorite quotes, I could take up pages lol. Those are just the ones I thought of off the top of my head.
175) Do I dream?
Yes, every single time I sleep. Even when I take a nap. I'm always dreaming.
180) Do I like shopping?
It depends on my mood and what I'm shopping for. Sometimes I'm in the mood to shop and I have fun with it but other times I'm not feeling it at all. I don't like spending money, it makes me feel guilty.
185) If I could master one skill, what would I choose?
Probably being an excellent shot. As skilled as Annie Oakley- if that's even possible haha
190) If I could time travel, where and when would I want to go?
60s or 70s. Maybe the 20s.
195) Would I ever want to encounter aliens?
Fuck no. Definitely wouldnt be like some sci-fi movie. It'd be fucking terrifying.
200) Dragons or wizards?
Neither. Never been into either of those things. I also never got what the big deal about dragons is
205) Do I like my handwriting?
Yeah I suppose. Its very inconsistent. It goes from messy to neat to somewhere in between all in one page. Just like me lol
210) What is on my bucket list?
Travel. See the world. I dont have anything super specific but I definitely wish I could see all this world has to offer.
215) What is the weirdest talent I have?
I have no idea. I have no talent that I can think of. I'm sure there's gotta be something but I have no clue right now.
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jimlingss · 5 years ago
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The Colour of Our Voices [15]
Chapter 14 - Chapter 15 - Chapter 16
➜ Words: 4k
➜ Genres: 98% Fluff, 2% Angst, Slice of Life, Broadway!AU
➜ Summary: He wasn’t supposed to hear. He wasn't supposed to know. But the instant Jimin came into your life and pulled the curtains back, you couldn't hide backstage anymore. You were no longer merely a phantom of the opera.
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Every relationship has its own set of difficulties, its ups and downs.   It’s just painful that you can’t be together when you want to. You never knew there’d come a point where your goals, dreams, and ambitions would contend with your relationship. It seems like it’s either one or the other and you don’t know if you can pick — if he would choose what you would.   You hope that with time, it’ll pass.    You try not to show how hurt you are over the missed date night incident even though it makes you overwhelmingly sad. But you can laugh at it a little when you’re faced with a different kind of reaction instead of sadness — rage.   “He fucking forgot?!” Yeonjeon is hysterical and her disgust is practically tangible. “Oh my god. I’m going to kill him.”   She gets up, but you pull her arm down with a laugh. Jimin’s at work. She probably wouldn’t know where to look for him even if she tried. “Hey, don’t kill him, I still love him.”   “Yeah, and it’s a mistake,” the actress says right out and rolls her eyes. “God, I can’t believe I had a crush on that motherfucker. All men are pigs, aren’t they? What an asshole!”   “It was an accident.” You shrug.   “Uh-huh. Pathetic is what it is.”   “He’s been really tired lately.”   “Umm, don’t defend him in my house.” She’s personally offended and is still fuming. “He can’t even remember a date. Does he have one brain cell?”   “No. He has at least two,” you giggle.   Yeonjeon shakes her head, but softens. Suddenly, she puts her hands on your shoulders, making you look at her. “Listen, Y/N. Just dump Jimin.”   Immediately, you burst out laughing. “I love him too much to dump him.”   “Well, fame changes people,” she states coldly. “He probably thinks he’s some kind of big shot now because he’s has some stupid role in a movie.”   You smile at her sheepishly.   It doesn’t seem like fame changed him. More like fame changed his life. It changed yours too — if you could even call it fame.   “Anyways, enough about that jerk—”   “Yeonjeon,” you warn her with a pout. He’s your boyfriend after all so you’ll defend him till the end.   “—how’s your own projects going so far?”   “They’re going fine. Rapunzel doesn’t have that many lines and she doesn’t actually sing any lyrics, but in the scenes that she is in, they’re pretty important. I’m having fun. Plus the people there are really nice to work with too.”   “You know what?” She snaps her fingers. “Now that I think about it. Rapunzel fits you perfectly.” You laugh at her and she eyes you. “What? It just does.”   Someone else had told you that — a boy that you miss dearly. 
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Jimin’s been having a recurring nightmare recently — one where he’s a four year old again and he’s stacking blocks as high as he can.    It doesn’t sound so bad, but always when he has the last block in his hand and goes to top off the tower, he can see it teeter. He knows what’s about to happen, He can see it right in front of him. But no matter what he does, how carefully he deals with the blocks, he can’t stop it from tumbling down.   The worst part is knowing the inevitable, but being unable to stop it. To see the collapse before it happens.   “Going home already, Park?”   The corner of Jungkook’s mouth curls, eyes flickering down to how Jimin’s gathering his belongings. His bag and coat are slung over his arms as if he’s being chased by debt collectors and needs to run out as soon as possible.   “Why so soon?” Chanyeol throws his arm around the younger’s shoulder, pulling him in. “I thought we were gonna go out for drinks again tonight.”   “I’m good.” Jimin slyly and discreetly moves the actor’s arm off of him. “I think I’m gonna head home early. I’m pretty tired.”   “Oh come on. Don’t be a downer. We even have our day off tomorrow. We should celebrate, don’t you think?” Chanyeol grins and looks across the set. “Hey, Director! You want to come with us again?”   Yoongi, the camera director looks up from what he’s doing and shrugs. “Sure.”   “See? Even Min’s coming. What are you waiting for?”   It’s not rare to drink with the other cast members after a long day of filming. Usually outings can range from three to four people to every person on the set. They’re a good bunch but he wishes there weren't so many eyes on him right now.   “What else would you be doing at home?”   “He’s whipped for some girl at home, that’s why,” Jungkook says with a laugh. “Let him go if he really doesn’t want to come.”   “That so?” Chanyeol raises his brows. “You can invite her.”   “No, she works fairly early. She’s probably asleep right now.”   “Then what are you going home for? Come on,” he insists, and Jimin succumbs to the pressure.   //   They’re huddled in a private room at the back of the fancy nightclub. It’s exclusive, sofas softer than expected, the back light of the walls creating a sensual ambiance and everything he drinks feels expensive. Jimin guesses this is what fame and fortune buys you.   One of the girls working at the nightclub comes over with a tray of drinks, gorgeous with her dress that’s too small and too short, and her cleavage practically spilling out. Chanyeol whistles, tipping her with a pretty bill which she smiles to, and the actor notices the way Jimin diverts his eyes.   “This girl of yours must be one hell of a woman,” he comments out of the blue and has Jimin’s eyes widening.   “Me?”   “Yeah, you, Park. Who else would I be talking about?” The handsome actor laughs boisterously, perhaps having taken one too many drinks.   “Apparently they’re neighbours,” Jungkook pipes up, remembering the story Jimin told a few weeks ago.   “Oof, brutal.” Chanyeol shakes his head. “If you guys break up, you’re gonna have to definitely move.”   “We’re not going to break up,” Jimin instinctively states. It’s almost defensive in a way and he hopes they don’t notice the nervous tick in his fingers.   There’s an exchange of expressions around the table. “You’re going to get married to her then?”   “I don’t know. Maybe. Probably.”   “Ooh, he is whipped,” Chanyeol sing-songs, but it also sounds sharp.   Jungkook frowns. “You really want to tie yourself down so soon? I mean, it’s not a bad thing.”   “It is a bad thing,” the other actor corrects, “Jimin’s young and good looking. You shouldn’t tie yourself down so early. You haven’t even begun to experience what kind of girls are out there….”   Jimin doesn’t say anything. He takes the shot that’s in front of him. It’s bitter in his mouth, disgusting, but he ignores the actual taste to chase after the free feeling it gives him instead.   “You’re cute — girls like that sort of thing. Trust me, you’ll be missing out if you tie yourself down now, Park. You have the rest of your life to be serious,” Chanyeol continues before his eyes flicker to the person across from him. “Right, Min?”   Yoongi sighs and Chanyeol laughs, explaining, “He’s divorced. His ex-wife’s some critic who runs her own blog. They had to reach a huge settlement and it took two years in court, but get this, she didn’t change her last name back. She kept Min just to fuck with him.”   “That’s enough,” Yoongi pipes up, cat-like eyes narrowed in on his drink. He throws it back and exhales afterwards. “I don’t want to talk about it.”   The actor smiles, gripping his glass. “I got married to my high school sweetheart, and it’s an absolute nightmare.” Chanyeol grins and shakes his head, lighthearted in the way he talks and it makes Jimin’s own mouth quirk. “She’s bat shit insane.”   Jungkook grins. “Didn’t she key your car?”   “Broke my windshield too with a fucking brick.”   Jimin blinks hard, unable to believe it. “Christ.”   “They’re not crazy at the start, trust me. Everything’s always nice at the beginning — everyone’s in love, doesn’t matter that they like to call up their ex, that they want to forgo condoms and skip their birth control….”   Jungkook snickers at Chanyeol’s woes and even Yoongi is amused. “I was an idiot, to say the least,” he sighs. “Not that I didn’t have my own problems, but I rushed into it way too quickly. What can you do, right? It would be bearable if not for the nagging.”   “This is why I don’t do relationships,” Jungkook comments with his lips tightly drawn in a line.   “Smart man.” He lifts his glass and they clink their drinks together. Jimin’s persuaded to take another shot. “Don’t you ever feel held down by her?” Chanyeol asks, smacking his lips. “Doesn’t she nag or anything?”   “I wouldn’t say that….” Jimin considers it and his intoxication makes the words slip out recklessly. “She asks where I’m going. She texts me to ask when I’m coming home. She complains when I’m out late...sometimes.” The brunette shrugs. “She just worries about me.”   “Sounds like a burden to me,” Chanyeol remarks.   Suddenly Yoongi’s silence is broken. His eyes perceive more than they let on. “Does she ever make you feel bad for doing what you want?”   “That’s a good point.” Jungkook nods and leans over to look at the brunette, propping his elbow on the table, chin in his hand. “You shouldn’t feel bad about doing what you want.”   Jimin remains quiet. He drinks.   It’s silent for a while, unsettlingly so and as each person waits for him to answer, Jimin never speaks. He never lifts his eyes away from the table. Chanyeol ends up clearing his throat.    “What’s with this somber mood? Let’s change the subject! Come on, I’m getting too sober to be around you ugly motherfuckers. Shots, people!” They clink glasses together, laughing and moving on from the heavy topic of conversation.   But they’re unknowing to just how it resonates with Jimin more than it should.   He wants to be here — but you make him feel like he should be at home instead. He wants to perform, on screen or on Broadway — but you make him feel bad for being so busy. He loves you, but he feels guilty for your conflicting schedules, for not seeing you enough, even though this is all he’s been dreaming of, this is what he wanted…   Jimin drinks and swallows past the thick lump forming in his throat.   //   The slamming door shakes you from your slumber. You turn around in your sheets, listening to the oncoming stomping footsteps, an irregular pattern instead of a consistent beat as if someone’s stumbling. The bedroom door creaks open and then Jimin dives into the sheets.   He opens his arms and falls to his front, his arm hitting your shoulder.   “What are you doing?” You rub your eyes and with a sigh, you sit up. You reach over to flicker the bedside lamp on. “Did you drink?”   You can smell the alcohol radiating off of him, and it’s stronger than ever before. It’s surprising considering he’s usually a responsible drinker who always knows how to pace himself.   One side of Jimin’s face is squished into the sheets, the other facing you. One of his eyes open. The pair of you stare at each other.    “I love you.” The words slur and he exhales. “But goddamn ‘s hard sometimes.”   You sigh again, getting up to take off his shoes as he lays there. You peel off his socks too, throwing them onto the ground for him to deal with it himself in the morning. “You didn’t even take off your jacket.”   At least it’s his day off tomorrow, so he can get plenty of rest and recover — it doesn’t look like he’ll have a pleasant time in the morning. Unfortunately, the case is not the same for you. You have to wake up in three hours, so you’re not impressed to say the least.   You climb over top of him, taking off his coat. Jimin’s arms are limp like noodles and he turns his head to stare straight at you. “‘Hy do you make me feel bad…’bout doing what I want, huh?”   “What are you talking about, Jimin?”   You go to unbutton his stained dress shirt reeking of spilled alcohol, but he abruptly shoves his hands off of him. “‘Could get so many girls….”   “You could get so many girls?” Your eyebrow cocks. “Do you want to get girls?”   “Dunno.”   “Alright, Casanova.” You smile. “Let’s get you changed and to bed, ‘kay?”   As you’re unbuttoning his shirt, peaceful silence settles around. Jimin savours the warmth of your hands on his skin, gazing at how your eyes are concentrated but still sleepy, how messy your hair is from twisting in the bed sheets and turning against the pillow. Your edges are soft in the yellow, dim light of the lamp. You’re practically glowing.   “’re gonna break up, aren’t we?”   The reaction is immediate. Your hands halt. Your lips fall. Your blood runs cold.   “What?”    “We’re gonna break up,” Jimin says it like he’s announcing it, like he’s decided himself.   Your bottom lips tremble, hands quivering, and you quickly get off of him to collect yourself. You want to brush it off that he’s intoxicated, that doesn’t know what he’s saying. But drunk words are sober thoughts.   “What are you saying?”   “Do you know who I am?” His tongue slurs heavily, syllables melted together, and the man sits up slowly, swaying from side to side.   “Who are you?” Your voice cracks against your will, eyes glossy and looking into his.   “Cute — ‘Andsome — young — Park J-Jimin…..” He giggles with a finger in the air and he points at you. “‘M missing out by being with you, did ya know that? ‘Nd why do you make me feel guilty for doing what I want, huh? I wanna to go out and party and drink and meet girls and perform, but I gotta go home to you….sucks, man.”   “It sucks, huh?” You swallow hard, fist curling tight into the sheets. “So you want to break up with me?”   “’Ts gonna end anyways. Look at us.” Jimin falls onto his back again, cozying up in the sheets. “Don’t even see each other anymore.”   “So this is it?” You ask again and again, not knowing where this is coming from, unable to believe that it’s happening.   “Where else it gonna go?”   You’re silent. You remove yourself from him, bringing your shaking hands into your lap. He lays there like a dead body, but he doesn’t fall asleep just yet despite the temptation being so strong.   “What happened to the Jimin I first met?” you ask quietly, a mere whisper leaving your parted lips. You don’t know who this arrogant asshole is — a stranger has entered your home.   “’S not here no more,” he mumbles, “Fame changed me. ’M not some sad dude pinning after you anymore.”   “Go to bed, Jimin,” you spit out the command harsher than you thought was possible. It goes silent and you watch him sprawl in your bed, limbs spread freely and his chest rising and falling as he snores. You reach over to turn off the lamp and grab your pillow, shoving his head off of it.    You wipe your eyes with the back of your hand and try to sleep out on the couch for the remaining hours. But it’s hard when you’re so restless.   //   The sunlight pierces through the window and into his eyes. He groans, shaken awake and brought to consciousness and to his head throbbing. His head aches and he feels sickly, the world swirling around him.    Jimin gets up and stumbles to the bathroom to relieve his bladder. He tries to wash his face afterwards and brush his teeth. When he leaves, he holds onto the door frame to brace himself and he hears noisy clanging in the kitchen that makes him wince.   He staggers out, shocked to see you. “What are you doing here?”   Jimin’s voice cracks and he moves to get water to quench his painful thirst. Your back stays turned to him.    “It’s one in the afternoon,” you state rather coldly, mumbling from the corner of your mouth. “I asked to come home early. I remembered I’m allowed to do that.”   He raises a brow and finishes drinking an entire bottle. “Are you still mad at me for forgetting our date night?”   It goes quiet. You don’t spare him a glance, simply putting the dishes away. The loud clanging has him flinching.   “I already said I’m sorry,” he reasons, “I got you flowers!”   You don’t know what he’s talking about and you don’t care to learn.   “Y/N.”   You came home to talk to him but now that he’s here, you know that you’ll regret what wants to come out. “Y/N.”   “Y/N,” Jimin repeats for the third time. He approaches and secures his hands on your shoulders, forcibly turning you around to face him. “Are you ignoring me?”   “Don’t touch me.” You shove his hands off of you, stepping back. His eyes frantically search your hurt expression and he’s utterly confused. “Please. Just don’t.”   “W-What’s wrong?”   “You don’t remember anything about last night?” you ask him, loudly, enough to strain your own voice.   Jimin winces again. “Can you not shout at me? I have a headache.”   “You said….you wanted to break up with me,” you whisper, unable to believe it yourself. When you say it with your own mouth, it stings and you want to burst out crying. Jimin watches the way your expression crumples and he pales.    It slowly comes back to him in waves, vague but he begins to remember bits and pieces, enough to know what he’s done.   “Hey.” Jimin reaches out, stepping closer. But he retracts his hand. “I’m sorry.”   “You always are.”   Maybe it shouldn’t be a big deal. He was drunk, inebriated, not in full control of his words — but to know he was even thinking about it, to know that he’s lined up the reasons for his dissatisfaction with your relationship, to hear it be said aloud, hurts.    “I’m sorry. I really am.” He searches the floor and musters the courage to lift his eyes. “You don’t believe me?”   “It’s not that I don’t believe you aren’t sorry,” you murmur, “I just think you’re sorry that I know what you think now.”   “Oh come on, babe. Y/N.” Jimin follows you to the living room. “I didn’t mean it.”   “Really?” You stop on your heel. You hate this — hate being upset and angry, hate feeling at a loss, hate spiraling out of control. “Not the part where you think I’m basically a huge burden to you now? Not the part where you want to get girls and go to parties and how I make you feel bad about doing the things you want? Not the part where you’re no longer pathetic enough to love me? Or what was it that you said, oh yeah, you’re not some sad guy pinning after me anymore.”   “I was drunk.”   “Were you? Or were they your sober thoughts?”   He sighs in frustration. Your loud voice is worsening his headache. And this isn’t what he wanted to do first thing he woke up — he doesn’t want to argue with you. But he doesn’t know how to make it stop.   “I think that it’s unfair you’re using this against me when I was wasted.”   “You told me that we should break up because we don’t even see each other anymore. Because what else was supposed to happen to us,” you softly whisper, crossing your arms, holding yourself. Now that he can answer clearly, now he’s not drunk anymore, there are no excuses. “So what is that you want from us, Jimin? Do I really make you feel guilty for doing the things you want to do? Is that how you feel about me now?”   “No, that’s not it. I’m...I’m sorry.”   “You’re selfish,” you say, spitefully. “That’s what you are. Always have been.”   Jimin scoffs outright. “Selfish?”   “All you think about is yourself. What you want. What you don’t have. What you’re missing out on. You’re supposed to think about the other person in a relationship. We’re supposed to sacrifice, compromise — and you’re not willing to do that. You don’t think about me for a second, Jimin.”   “Are you kidding me? I am trying my best! Everything I do is for us and our future together—”   “Really? I thought we didn’t have a future in your plans.”   He ignores your low jab. “I took care of you when you hated me. How’s that sacrifice for you?”   “Well nobody asked! Did they?”   “I love you!” Jimin shouts at the top of his lungs, making his throat dry again. “I’ve loved you longer than you loved me. Even when you were jealous of me, when you hated me, I loved you. And I still love you!”   “Then why did you tell me that I make you feel bad for doing what you want?!” you’re sobbing as the last word comes out, holding your face in your hands. Guilt swallows him whole.   “Because it does. I feel bad that I don’t get enough to spend enough time with you. I feel bad that we’re always waiting for the other person to come home. I feel bad about going out with the cast when I should be having fun and for taking on roles when I know it’ll be time consuming even though that’s been my dream.”   You’re sobbing, shaking your head. “W-What do you want me to do?”   “I don’t know.”    He can’t find a solution, and he’s most certainly not going to make you give up your dream. Jimin’s not going to ask or make you do anything.    Everything caused by ill timing. Caused by stress.    What’s the point of being in a relationship when you can’t even see each other?   It always seems like you have to choose each other or choose your ambitions.   Jimin wants to say boldly that he’ll figure it out with you — that he’ll find a way to do both. He wants to hug you, to embrace you, let you cry into his shoulder as he makes more meaningless apologies. He wants to say that with time, it’ll pass, that your schedules will clear up, that the pair of you will overcome this obstacle.   But he can’t bring himself to say it or to step forward.   “Maybe we should take a break.”   You’re taken aback.   A break? So he can do whatever he wants and thinks he can still have you?   “What’s that supposed to mean?”   “I don’t know,” Jimin admits. “I think we just need some time away from each other to figure this out.”   Without the obligation of having to see you, of having to maintain this relationship, the guilt would disappear. Maybe neither of you would have to feel so bad about yourselves.   But you persist in your questions. “Figure what out? Us?”   Jimin’s frustrated at why you don’t understand. “Well if you don’t like it, then maybe we should just cleanly break it off with one another. If that makes more sense to you.”   “Fine,” you hiss out of unadulterated spite.   His eyes widening, mouth dropping open. He’s shocked at your quick answer.   Jimin’s rendered speechless, breathless. “F-Fine then…”   “Get out of my apartment, Jimin.” You sniffle with your chest heaving.   He can’t believe it’s happening. Everything in his mind screams for him to stop, but his body moves on its own. Then the door slams shut.
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letterboxd · 4 years ago
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Natural Woman.
Filmmaking power-couple Julia Hart and Jordan Horowitz chat to Jack Moulton about exploring untouched female perspectives in genre films, a fateful viewing of Michael Mann’s Thief, the humbling magic of babies on set, and Letterboxd’s small role in their filmmaking process.
I’m Your Woman puts the gangster’s moll, a classically underwritten character, at the heart of the action. We barely meet the gangster himself in this taut, 1970s-set crime thriller from director Julia Hart and her co-writer and producer husband Jordan Horowitz. Rachel Brosnahan occupies a tense and unusual space as Jean, wife of Eddie, a no-good chap who turns up one day with a very young baby then abruptly disappears, leaving her to raise this unnamed child.
In other versions of the story, we’d follow Eddie to a guns-blazing conclusion, but this is a Hart-Horowitz jam, so we’re quickly on the run with Jean and the baby, and we stay with her. I’m Your Woman is a compelling, unsettling twist on the genre. “What impressed me most … was how well it keeps its cards close to the vest,” writes Mikey on Letterboxd. It’s also an empathetic portrayal of new-motherhood in all its exhausting confusion, where getting a baby clean, fed and sleeping is as much a priority as finding the next safe house. “Despite valuing tension quite highly, Julia Hart still has the wherewithal to let it sit in its more tender and thoughtful moments,” writes Paul. “The ending really sneaks up on you in terms of the specific feeling it elicits.”
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Marsha Stephanie Blake and Rachel Brosnahan in ‘I’m Your Woman’.
Hart and Horowitz have children, aged two and six, who have grown up around film sets. Before becoming a filmmaker, Hart spent her days with other people’s kids as a teacher; her 2016 debut, Miss Stevens, stars Lily Rabe as a high-school educator, but her follow-up films have been wider-ranging, from Fast Color to this year’s Stargirl. Hart credits this genre-jumping to her absolute love of movies. “I don’t have a favorite genre. I love musicals, Westerns, crime dramas, coming-of-age movies, superhero movies. It was so fun getting to learn about how to create musical numbers in Stargirl and how to direct a car chase in I’m Your Woman.”
Horowitz, meanwhile, is known for producing The Kids Are All Right and La La Land. Yes, he’s the “Guys, guys, I’m sorry, no, there’s a mistake” guy. Horowitz is also a Letterboxd member, and a hunt back through his diary reveals the date he first watched Moonlight, along with his wholesome reviews of Julia’s films. “I always tried to remember to log my movies in so many different ways,” Horowitz explains, “and then once Letterboxd came out it was a very easy solution.”
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Jordan Horowitz corrects that famous Oscar mix-up.
Horowitz keeps diligent lists of references for his upcoming films, years before they’re even announced. It’s here that the roots of I’m Your Woman are found, if you’re looking closely: a fateful viewing of Michael Mann’s Thief nearly seven years ago was the primary influence on I’m Your Woman, “especially Tuesday Weld’s character, and the moment where she is basically asked to leave the movie before James Caan burns everything to the ground,” he tells me. “Our hope with this movie was to follow some of the women in those movies that don’t necessarily get the spotlight and shift the gaze of the camera to follow this car as it drives away with her in it, instead of staying with the criminal of this movie.”
Hart picks up the thread, naming Diane Keaton in The Godfather, Ali MacGraw in The Getaway, Theresa Russell in Straight Time. “Those were interesting characters played by incredible actresses but they only have a handful of scenes so I loved the idea of exploring a woman in that world and time but telling the story through her perspective.”
Horowitz defines master filmmakers Sidney Lumet, Martin Ritt and Jonathan Demme as Hart’s “spirit animals”, for their humanist takes in multiple genres. A particular recommendation of a Lumet classic from an Amazon executive changed the way they looked at their writing. “Running on Empty has this great scene where they all sing [James Taylor’s] ‘Fire and Rain’ together. Originally in our script, the ‘Natural Woman’ scene was just [Jean] singing. After watching that movie it inspired us to consider what if the Cal character joins in with her? What happens to the moment if it becomes a bit more of a community moment?”
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Bill Heck in ‘I’m Your Woman’.
When talking about their writing process, Horowitz admits that he always has his producer hat handy: “I’m never thinking about writing for the sake of writing. I’m always keeping how we make this thing in mind. Do we have too many extras? Is this location gettable? That can help me when we get into production because I’ve already considered some of those things, but I do wish sometimes that I could just sit down as Julia does and just write.” Once the duo makes it into production, Horowitz admits “[I] definitely put writer mode behind me, to the point where we’ll be on set and someone will ask me something about the script and I’ll be like ‘I don’t know, ask Julia’ and they’ll say ‘didn’t you write it too?!’”
However, Horowitz credits Hart as the “idea generator” of the two. The premise to have Jean struggling to connect with her adoptive baby was always part of the conception of the character, largely based on conversations Hart had with mothers, pre-lockdown. “It sometimes feels like Hollywood sees mothers as a monolith where there isn’t much nuance and subtlety, especially when it comes to negative feelings about motherhood, so they’re often shamed into not talking about them,” Julia laments. “It was really important for me to explore a side of motherhood that isn’t talked about as much and make sure that mothers know that they are seen and heard.”
The decision to have a baby (performed by brothers Justin and Jameson Charles) in almost every scene was a big risk, and not one Hart took lightly. “Movie people can think what they’re doing is very important, but there’s nothing more humbling than when you’re on a whole set with hundreds of people [and] you’re waiting for a baby’s dirty diaper to be changed. It made everything feel so real and immediate, so everyone on set really had to live in the moment and adapt. You prepare, and prepare, and prepare, but you have to throw out so much if the baby is sleeping instead of crying, or crying instead of smiling. I think it’s important to portray babies as real people, because as a society we often forget that.”
Lead actress Rachel Brosnahan came on as a producer many years after the script was already in Hart and Horowitz’s heads, but Hart explains that Brosnahan brought a history and interior life, “more in the wordless moments of acting than in dialogue itself.” Along the way, Jean meets Cal and Teri, who guide her to refuge. They’re the heart of the film, and Hart elaborates on their importance to the narrative: “they have been through the hell that Jean is currently going through and her circumstances force them to go through it again, but this time they have honesty, truth and love on their side. In watching Teri and Cal, Jean starts to understand what real love, family and support are.”
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Rachel Brosnahan with director and co-writer Julia Hart.
When you examine Hart’s filmography, it’s impressive how productive she’s been in such a short time, releasing four films within five years, with those pre-schoolers under foot. Horowitz makes a comparison to a prolific filmmaker like Steven Soderbergh, who advises to “fail as fast as you can”. Horowitz acknowledges that “I don’t think we set out like, ‘we’re gonna have two children and we’re gonna make four films in five years.’ If we knew that we were gonna do that we would’ve said, ‘wow, that’s a little bit insane, maybe we shouldn’t do that!’” But they did, and the film world is richer for it.
We always like to ask about the film that made filmmakers want to become filmmakers, and Hart lands on All That Jazz. “I’ve always been a fan of Bob Fosse since his [early] work. How he turned moving your body in a way that people haven’t really moved their bodies before into an empire is very inspiring. [Roy Scheider] is also my favorite actor, which doesn’t hurt. He’s so good.” Horowitz, meanwhile, is a huge fan of Back to the Future. “That was the movie when I was a kid that just opened my eyes to the power of movies, to make you obsess and dream about what other movies could be.”
“I remember going with my parents to see Back to the Future Part II on the Friday night it opened and when we got there it was sold out. We saw some other movie, but I was so upset so all I was thinking about was Back to the Future Part II. As we were leaving the movie theater, I saw through the back little window of the screen where Back to the Future Part II was playing and watched the end scene where Marty is standing in the rain and someone comes and gives him a letter. I did not sleep the entire night. That feeling of anticipation and imagination defines the way I like to look at movies and the way they can make me feel.” A subsequent look at Horowitz’s Letterboxd diary reveals that this conversation perhaps inspired him to take a trip back in time the following day.
Related content
Jordan Horowitz’s list of research for I’m Your Woman
She did THAT!—A list of women who kill
Mothers, Mommy Issues, Moms, Matriarch, Grandmothers
Letterboxd’s Top 200 Crime Films
Disillusionment in Sun-drenched 1970s American New Wave Cinema
Follow Jack on Letterboxd
‘I’m your Woman’ is on Amazon Prime Video now.
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marvella15 · 4 years ago
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Astaire & Rogers Rewatch Part 8: Carefree
• Ah Carefree. Another film with a lot of weird, extraneous crap in it that detracts from what we’re all actually here for: Astaire and Rogers together and dancing. 
• Surprisingly, this odd movie has a song and dance I especially like, “Change Partners.” It also has the first on-screen romantic kiss between Astaire and Rogers. But we’ll get to that. 
• Our character/actors: Dr. Tony Flagg (Fred Astaire), Amanda (Ginger Rogers), Stephen (Ralph Bellamy), Cora (Luella Gear)
• I’m not up on Ralph Bellamy’s filmography but in every movie I’ve ever seen him in, he’s the guy who loses the girl to the bigger male star. 
• Now I’m no expert but it seems like if your fiancé breaks off your engagement three times, there might be some actual issues in your relationship. And I don’t think those issues boil down to just “the girl I like won’t marry me.”
• For the first time in one of these films, Astaire’s character isn’t a dancer or musician by profession. He’s a psychiatrist… who used to be a dancer. Gotta have some reason why he’s so dang elegant and talented. 
Not a fan of his notes on a patient that indicate she’s a “typical pampered female” who doesn’t need a doctor but rather “a good spanking.” 
Right after this, he describes Amanda, whom he hasn’t met, in very unflattering terms, including that she probably doesn’t have a brain. Here’s a diagnosis, Dr. Flagg. You’re a misogynist. 
Already we can see some issues with Carefree. 1938 may have been a different time but nothing about Astaire’s character is charming, kind, or anything we’d want Rogers to be paired with.
• I do like that as usual Rogers’ character doesn’t stand for any crap. She doesn’t give one single eff about his questions or his attempts to chat with her and then she storms out. 
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• Astaire spent two weeks rehearsing the golf solo (aka "Since They Turned 'Loch Lomond' into Swing"), during which he did a thousand swings. The actual number took two and a half days to film. 
Surely it helped that he was an avid golfer already. In addition to horse racing, it was one of his favorites hobbies. 
It goes without saying that he hits a golf ball better in the midst of a dance than I could on a driving range. 
It also probably goes without saying that the only reason Tony does this number is because his ego is insulted by Amanda. 
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• Rogers looks particularly fab in her shorts during the bicycle scenes. 
• Amanda begins to warm up to Tony after seeing he has talents besides psychoanalysis and insulting women he hasn’t met. But she only truly starts to like him after he makes an idiot of himself by crashing his bike into a bush. 
• Cora thinks that Tony sent her a gigolo?? And she’s totally on board with it?? And she drinks something this random man (who we know is Tony’s assistant) hands her???
• “I Used to be Color Blind” has a lot of potential that it doesn’t live up to imo. As you might guess by the song and the way the scene is filmed, this sequence was supposed to be in color. But, depending on who you ask, either the studio felt it was too expensive or the color tests looked horrible so it was scrapped. Either way, it’s a shame. Audiences had to wait over ten years to see Astaire and Rogers dancing in color.
• I’m also not wild about the slow motion, which seems a bit goofy. However, it does let us better appreciate the talent and mastery of Astaire and Rogers. For example, when he lifts her in a spin, her feet don’t touch the ground again for a while and they both make it seem effortless. 
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• Soooo the Kiss. I know I’ve been banging the kiss kiss kiss drum for a few movies now. But this almost isn’t that satisfying? Now, I would say that this could’ve been intentional on Astaire’s part since he (and maybe his wife?) was the one opposed to any on-screen clinches and preferred the romance and intimacy to be in the dances. But, Astaire wasn’t comfortable with even this finished product, according to both his account and Rogers’. The slow-motion made what was really just a peck on the lips seem like much more, which he felt made up for all of the kisses he hadn’t given her in their previous films. So it seems unlikely he had any hand in intentionally making it unsatisfying. 
More likely, it’s that of all of the scenes, songs, dances, and movies for a kiss to happen, this isn’t the one I would’ve picked. A peck on the lips during “The Continental” would’ve been perfect, or a delicate kiss after “Cheek to Cheek” or a passionate one after “Never Gonna Dance.” Just a few places I wish we’d seen a kiss rather than (or in addition to) here.
All of that said, I will say that there’s something very fitting that in the scene Rogers is the one to lean up and kiss him rather than him being the proactive one. That’s very fitting for their off-screen dynamic too where he was far more shy and reserved. And I do like that it’s clearly an intimate kiss, as evidenced by the way she wraps her arms around his back. 
• Two years before she would win her historic Oscar, Hattie McDaniel appears in Carefree in an uncredited role as a maid.
• When Amanda next meets with Tony, she is conflicted about telling him about her dream where she was very clearly in love with him and not boring old Steve. Her sweater conveys her struggle. It has arrows piercing an embroidered heart over her actual heart. 
• Amanda’s invented dream is insane but who hasn’t made up ridiculous excuses to stay around their crush? But kids, don’t go so far as being put under anesthesia. 
• The whole period where Amanda is still drugged and acting weird is absolutely something I typically skip, even though Rogers does a good job with the slapstick.
• “The Yam” harkens back to previous numbers like “The Piccolino” or “The Continental.” Even though it feels almost a bit outdated at this point, it’s a fun, upbeat number in an otherwise somewhat dull film. 
• I like that Astaire drops the acting after a few seconds. He’s just himself for most of this dance and looks like he’s having the most fun he has at any point in this movie. Rogers is also all smiles and looks marvelous. 
• I also like that they dance around so much of the lodge and use much of the scenery as part of the number. 
• Some fun lyrics:
“I didn’t come to do the Charleston” - Rogers got her start in entertainment by winning a Charleston contest when she was 14.
“I didn’t come to ball the jack” - Five years later, Judy Garland will perform a superb number called “Ballin’ the Jack” in For Me and My Gal with a promising new musical star: Gene Kelly. 
• Gotta give it up for the EIGHT times they do the move where his leg is up on the table and she leaps over it. 
• She is undoubtedly whispering something to him when they start to slow dance. 
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• Rogers is a really wonderful actress. She does a stellar job when Amanda tells Tony she’s actually in love with him.
• Look, I get that Tony’s trying to find a way out of a situation wherein his friend’s fiancé has fallen in love with him and plans to break it off with his friend, but telling Amanda she’s imagining her feelings is pretty crappy of him. Hypnotizing her so she’ll hate him and marry Steve instead is pretty stupid. 
But once again, Rogers does a fab job in this scene. Hypnotized or not, she’s obviously devastated and cries even while pretending to be in a trance. 
• “Kiss her, you dope!” is what I’ve been saying for seven movies. 
• Some light gun violence humor here in 1938.
• I assume it’s an in-joke that the judge’s last name is Travers, which was the last name of Astaire’s character in Gay Divorcee.
• We already knew Steve was hapless trash but refusing to allow Amanda to choose her own future and instead leaving her hypnotized and getting a restraining order against his friend to prevent Tony and Amanda from ever getting together is a new low.
• Unsurprisingly, the most enduring song from this film is “Change Partners,” which was nominated for an Oscar. It’s also one of my favorites and frequently gets stuck in my head. 
• At least Steve’s stupidity is used against him. Tony literally sings exactly what he’s going to do (“I’ll tell the waiter to tell him he’s wanted on the telephone”) and yet Steve still falls for it. 
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• For the third(?) time in this film, Rogers must pretend to be in a trance, this time dancing to Astaire’s hypnotic hands. But not long in, she clearly breaks through a bit because she becomes more of a participant. She grabs his hand when it’s on her waist and melts into his arms when they embrace. 
• “Change Partners” as a dance is incredibly intimate. That’s not so unusual for Astaire and Rogers’ romantic duets but it’s a tad unusual in this particular film where, despite that kiss, they’ve hardly had any romantic interactions. And yet in this dance, they are frequently very close together, his lips hover near hers more than once, and it’s all very slow. In fact, they very nearly kiss a few times. To me it’s further proof that as long-awaited as the earlier kiss was, there were and are better places for it, such as right here.
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• Amanda really gets a raw deal. Sure she gets to marry the man she actually loves. But in the process, she nearly shoots him and others, gets arrested, is subjected to a variety of psychological experiments, and then gets punched in the face on her wedding day. 
• During this rewatch I’ve been surprised how much I’ve enjoyed certain films I don’t watch as much, like Gay Divorcee, but Carefree is pretty much how I remember it. Very little worth rewatching, except “The Yam” and “Change Partners.”
• Up next is the last RKO production Astaire and Rogers made and the end of their partnership… for now. It’s The Story of Vernon and Irene Castle.
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lovemesomesurveys · 3 years ago
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Do you have any tan lines? Nope. Have you ever wished you could stop time? Yes. I’ve also wished I could speed it up. Is there any pictures on the wall you're in? Yeah, there’s several. Who was the last person who called you? My mom. Did you make any money today? No.
Have you ever fallen and twisted your ankle? No. What was the highest place you've ever jumped from? I haven’t jumped from anywhere. Have you ever gone swimming in a river? No. Ever been so unfortunate to slip on wet rocks? Nope. When was the last time you got completely soaked by rain? It’s been a long time. One of the times that comes to mind is when my mom, aunt, a former friend, and I were at an outdoor festival and we got caught in an unexpected rain storm. It just started pouring down hard and we were not prepared at all. We had to run back to our car, which was parked a good distance away and yeah we were absolutely soaked. 
Is there something you really want to buy at the moment? I’d love to be able to book a beach vacation getaway. Would you ever consider culinary school? No. I’m not a cook and have no interest in trying to become one. Do you ever watch the clouds, to see if they look like objects/animals etc? I did when I was a kid sometimes. When was the last time you didn't want to get out of bed? That’s me everyday. It’s a real struggle. Are you excited for anything coming up in the near future? No. My foreseeable future consists of more doctors and appointments and struggles and spending most of my time in bed. Speaking of dancing, do you know any real dance moves? I know them, but I can’t do them. Do you save cards from your birthday/x-mas, etc? Yes. What was the last souvenir someone got you? A shirt. Do you have a favorite remix of a song? One of my favorite covers is Adele’s cover of George Michael’s “Fast Love” that she preformed at an award show in honor of him after he died. I can only describe it as hauntingly beautiful. I really wish she would have released a studio version of it. When was the last time you printed something off? I don’t recall; it’s been awhile. Are you one of those people who can learn music/songs by ear? No, I wish. There was a guy in my piano class I took my senior year in high school that could do that. It was really cool. Has the power gone out recently? No, but I have a feeling it will happen soon. It always does when we have a lot of triple digit degree weather, which is what this week has consisted of. Do you like driving at night? I don’t drive, but I like nighttime drives. Like, whenever I travel I love leaving really early when it’s still dark out. It’s a different experience. Does seeing roadkill make you sad, or just grossed out? Both. Does wearing heels make you feel sexier? I don’t wear heels. What do you think is the most saddest sounding instrument? The piano can sound that way. What day do you go back to school (if you're in school)? I’m forever done with school. When was the last time you've gone shopping with a friend? It’s been a few years. Do you ever go out to dinner with your Mom? We haven’t physically gone out to eat for dinner in quite a long time.  What is your favorite kind of salad dressing? Ranch. Have you ever bought fireworks? Not me personlly, but my dad and brother do every 4th of July. Do you really pay attention to the ratings on movies? Sometimes, but I ultimately decide if I want to see it or not. Have you ever snuck in to a theater/dance/bar etc? No. If given the chance, would you go to Ireland? Sure. Who was the last person/website to send you an email? I don’t feel like checking. Has your phone ever rang and scared you? Yeah. I’m such a jumpy person anyway. If you have a cat, does it ever "converse" with you? I don’t have a cat. If given the chance, would you ever fly in a fighter plane like the F-16? No. Are you afraid of standing on the edge of hills/skyscrapers/cliffs etc? Uh, YES. Do you have a favorite species of wild cat (tiger/lion/cougar etc)? No. Do you support the funds designed to protect endangered animals? (Like WWF). I haven’t done much myself to support them, but I’m glad they exist. What type of a drunk are you? (Obnoxious, calm, emotional, violent, etc) I was a chatty drunk. I feel like I was annoying, ha. I was also the sad drunk. Do you have an absolute favorite name (boy or girl)? I love the name Alexander. Are you good at pronouncing foreign words? Uhh, depends. If you're not already, when do you plan on getting married? I don’t want to get married. Can you tolerate the smell of cigarette smoke? Nooo. It honestly makes me sick, like I get lightheaded and dizzy, I get nauseous, and I get a really bad headache. When listening to music, do you usually tap your foot etc to the beat? I sometimes tap my fingers and hands. Have you ever literally cried on a friend's shoulder? No. Was there something that "made your day" today? It literally just turned midnight, so today is just now starting. Do you have a favorite kind of chocolate bar? White chocolate. Are you happy that it's summer? Ugh, no. It’s hot and miserable. Is there anything that you should be doing right now? I’m about to make my nightly bowl of ramen.  Has anyone had expectations that you just couldn't live up to? (finishing this a couple hours later...) That’s how I’ve been feeling. Are you currently in a relationship? If so, how long have you been dating? Nope. Would you ever consider being a DJ at a party if you were paid? Nah. Have you ever tried those electric toothbrushes? Wow, this question makes it seem like they’re so futuristic and rare lol. Yes, I use electric toothbrushes. Are you or anyone you know devoted to "being green"? Not overly so, no. When it comes election time, do you vote (if you're old enough)? Yes. What was the last movie you watched that was on TV? I watched Fear 1994 on Netflix recently if that counts. How long have you had an account on bzoink? I don’t have an account on bzoink. Do strapless bras work for you? I don’t like them. I only wear them if I have to, like with a dress. Do you have a favorite hair elastic that you use almost always? No. Has anyone told you that they wanted to marry you/ were planning on it/etc? No. When you were younger, did you have a yoyo? I did. I couldn’t do any tricks, though. What was the last video game you played, if any? Animal Crossing: New Horizons. Has anyone ever called you nerdy? Yeah. Have you ever had to call 911? Yes. Has there ever been a tornado near where you live? No, fortunately. Are you a rollercoaster addict? Noo. I’m a big scardy cat. Do you feel comfortable enough to wear short shorts? No. I’m very self-conscious about my legs. About my body in general, really. If you have iTunes, do you find the Genius recommendations helpful? I don’t even recall what that is; I haven’t used iTunes in almost 10 years. Are you quick at looking up numbers in phonebooks/ words in dictionaries? Phonebooks, wow.  I haven’t used a phonebook or actual dictionary in yearsssss thanks to the Internet/Google.  Have a favorite actor/actress from Old Hollywood? (Marilyn Munroe, etc) Lucille Ball. Out of Biology, Chemistry and Physics, which are you the best at? None of those. Is there a friend you can always talk to about anything? I don’t have any friends. Can you stand spicy foods? Not anymore. :( It’s gotta have like barely anything like McDonald’s or Taco Bell mild hot sauce type of stuff. It’s wild because I used to be obSESSED with spicy food. I put hot sauce on everything and had a high spicy tolerance. Then a few years ago I developed a sensitivity and I can’t even have red pepper flakes now. It sucks. What's your opinion on people who stretch their ears? Hey, do what you want. I’ll admit the really stretched out lobes freak me out, though. Do you think tattoos are expressive art or unattractive? To me they can be either one, it just depends. What is your school mascot? -- Do you find black and white photos to be pretty? Yeah. Food you make doesn't taste as good as food made by others, true? Sometimes. Especially foods like sandwiches for some reason. I think they’re way better when my mom or a deli makes them.  Is there a certain color that doesn't look good on you? I don’t think I look good in anything, so. Have you ever heard anything interesting about Nova Scotia, Canada? Not that I can recall. Have you ever seen a bear in the wild? No, thankfully. Do you know when you will get to see your significant other next? I’m single. What's the book you're currently reading? ”Such a Good Girl” by Willow Rose. Is your room currently a disaster? No. If going to a concert, do you prefer it to be outside or in a stadium? Definitely in a stadium.
Do you have a case for your camera? I use the camera on my phone, which I do have a case for. Can your cellphone take a beating? I’ve dropped it a few times and so far so good. Is there a month you prefer over others? October and December. Do you ever buy lottery tickets? Just a couple of times. Can you recall the most disturbing movie you've ever seen? A Clockwork Orange is one. Are you more of a tape or a glue person? Tape. Of course, it does depend on what I’m doing. In some cases, glue is the better option.  Has anyone you know gotten mono? Not that I know of. What is/or was your graduating year? I graduated UC in 2015. Have you had a weird dream lately? All my dreams are weird. Have you ever gotten an autograph from someone famous? Yes. Do you own a pair of slippers? No. Do you ever watch VHS movies anymore? No. I don’t even recall the last time. Has your computer ever decided to completely erase itself? No, but I’ve lost stuff because of viruses back in the day. :(
Only when the power goes out do we realize how much we rely on it, true? It definitely becomes quite apparent quite quickly. Have you ever picked an apple off the tree and eaten it? No. Can you say yes / no in different languages? ”Si” and “No”, ha. Are you good at styling your own hair? No. Especially not anymore since I just don’t have the motivation or energy to do anything with my hair, which is why it was always up in a bun. I finally just cut it really short and have been wearing a cute wig if I go somewhere cause that’s all I can to do right now. I am sad, though. It was so long.   Out of the traditional superheroes, which one is your favorite? The Scarlett Witch and Iron Man. What color is the shirt you're wearing right now? Black. Have you ever been lost? Physically and figuratively, yes.
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margridarnauds · 4 years ago
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I'm very curious about Lady Bess and I would like to know which cast do you prefer or recommend ? I know they have their own particularities but I'm curious about Hirano Aya playing Lady Bess and what are the differences with Hanafusa Mari ?
VERY sorry it’s taken a while, the latest news over here + my frantic packing, have made the last couple of weeks absolute HELL. 
Thank you for asking me this! I’m not sure if this is really public knowledge, but Lady Bess was my VERY FIRST Toho musical, I pre-ordered it as soon as the news was announced after pining after the 2014 cast for years and thinking we’d never get to see the full thing. As a result, it’s a bit of a personal baby for me. There’s nothing in the world that can really compare to opening up the package for the first time and...there it was, running to the TV to put it in, and then...there it was, beautiful and opulent and everything that I’d been wanting for ages. I couldn’t really believe I was SEEING it, in all honesty. 
Anyway, nostalgia aside, personally...I have a difficult time, with this cast, more than any other, as far as solidly recommending one cast over another. (Honestly, MA is very unusual to me in the sense that I HAVE a clear favorite, most of the time, I end up going back and forth.) 
Personally, I definitely do prefer Aya Hirano’s Elizabeth; in my opinion, she really gives her Bess a spine of steal, and you can understand how she can go from the girl at the beginning to Gloriana, and you can tell in Aya’s performance that she considered every aspect of Elizabeth’s character. Even at the beginning, where she’s a young woman, there’s still a polish and elegance to her that reminds me of the report about six year old Elizabeth that said that she had “'with as great a gravity as she had been forty years old'. Yes, she’s young, she makes some very stupid mistakes, but she’s still refined and clever. When Robin is annoying her in the beginning, she doesn’t show her annoyance, instead giving a small, frustrated smile. 
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Like. “Oh, you.” 
She has a very smooth, rounded voice--while her initial training was in anime voice dubs and work as an idol, she moved to the musical world, taking four months to study abroad in New York City (more reasons that I have to have a personal fondness for her - She isn’t one of us, but she GETS us) and it shows in her voice. She has one of the voices that, even if she didn’t have a very distinctive face, with the beauty mark on the left side of her face being an easily distinguishable feature for my face-blind ass, I would be able to recognize it anywhere due to its power and full tone. Probably, overall, one of my favorite actresses in the industry. Absolutely love her and her take on Bess. 
Hanafusa Mari’s Bess is less.....canny. During the same scene with Robin, we see her kind of showing her frustration VERY obviously. 
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She’s significantly less mature, more of a child as opposed to a young woman and, at the end, rather than an adult woman making the best choice for her and her country, I get more the feeling that she’s an instrument of fate, being tugged along like a sailboat caught in a bad breeze. 
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“Guess I’m queen now, idk.” 
Aya Hirano’s Bess, meanwhile, is looking out towards the future. Yes, she regrets, to a certain extent, that she wasn’t able to have a life with Robin, but she’s also looking forward to the future, to the England she’s going to build. She loved Robin, but it was a love that never could have really been anything else. It was kind of that first, high school love that, yeah, was what she needed at the time, when she was alone and (almost) friendless, but they both wanted different things in life and became different people. There would never really have been a future for them with marriage and babies, even without the class difference, and Aya Hirano’s Bess knows it. 
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I think, looking at them, you can TELL that they both had fundamentally different ideas about the ending of the musical: Hanafusa very clearly saw it as a tragedy; Aya Hirano saw it as, at worst, a bittersweet triumph, and her Bess accepts her destiny with full agency, meeting her future head-on. 
I will say, also, that the dynamic with Robin is....slightly....uncomfortable with Hanafusa’s Bess, not the least because Yamazaki has a baby face. It makes them seem very unbalanced when, in fact, they’re supposed to be the same age. I’m all for older women dominating the stage (I’ve never complained about, say, Kazutaka Ishii or Oka Kojiro getting a role that’s generally cast younger, and by God, I’m going to be consistent on this one), and Hanafusa’s to be congratulated on her long career and experience, but I do believe, strongly, that it would have been better for Kato Kazuki to have been her Robin. 
Now, onto the Robins. 
This is, perhaps, a bit of an unpopular opinion, but I do actually prefer Ikusaburo Yamazaki’s take on the role. 
I LIKE Kato Kazuki (I own two Proshots of various things he’s been in and I’m still STRONGLY considering Frankenstein simply so that I can see him fulfill his life’s ambition, I definitely don’t personally hate the man, though he’s one of them that’s never been my ULTIMATE FAVORITE in any role he’s been in. Sorry, Kazuki). He has a good voice, probably one of the steadiest male voices in the industry, and he is currently one of Toho’s most bankable stars, to the point where he’s on my shortlist of actors for calculating the chance of a musical getting a proshot (Furukawa Yuta + Kato Kazuki + Aya Hirano in a replay of a musical? Yeah. This one was getting proshot.) 
But. But. He tends to not be particularly on the expressive side, I found that his reactions tend to be a little on the dull side, and I feel like, with a character like Robin, who REALLY needs to sell the romance angle, you really need someone who’s more of a livewire, someone charismatic, someone who can offset Bess’ gravity. And, unfortunately........Yamazaki did that better, in my opinion. I just did not get a really great sense of chemistry from Kazuki, and I feel like he did that Thing he’s been known to do where he just plays The Hero instead of really tailoring his performance to the individual role. 
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Using pretty much exactly the same facial expression for when his father’s died in front of him (in 1789) VS when he embarrassed himself in front of the pretty girl he just met (Lady Bess.) But his cheekbones are 10/10. 
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Puppy dog eyes 10/10
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“Toss a coin to your Robin, oh valley of plenty” 
Mary I 
Both Marys did SO WELL in the role, it’s hard for me to really pick a favorite and, after all these years, I’ve still not properly sat down to parse each one’s performance. The role of Mary is vocally and emotionally demanding, as she has to be threatening and villainous, belting out an INTENSE rock-inspired number in a HEAVY velvet gown, while also showing Mary’s loneliness and trauma. Not easy for any actress to pull off, and BOTH of them did a phenomenal job with the role. 
Looking over their respective scenes at the end, I feel like Rie Yoshizawa’s Mary had a slight vocal edge, pulling off the final BRILLIANTLY in “Don’t Dance With the Devil” and never making a shift from her chest voice to her head voice, whereas in her co-star’s case, it’s quite audible, though still VERY strong and solid. Which ISN’T her fault, necessarily, given the range required for the song, but it’s definitely something that I did pick up on. Rie Yoshizawa, though, handles it almost effortlessly, even adding a bit of a growl to it. I feel like, of the two of them, she’s more of a trained belter (which makes sense, given that she’s more of a career Toho actress, whereas Yuki Mirai is a trained Zuka actress. AGAIN, it’s nothing against one or the other, but I think that it means that one of them is more likely to go for a belt, the other is more likely to go for head voice.) (Also please keep in mind that my knowledge of the terminology here comes from osmosis + what my aunt, who IS trained has told me when she was trying to critique my car-ride performances of “Evita” + my grade school music teacher. As a result, I am NOT an expert.) 
At the end, Yuki Mirai’s Mary seemed to really, really hope that Bess would genuinely change the religion of England back to Catholicism, her face hopeful as she clutches onto Bess’ arms only to fall when Bess only says that she’ll follow her own heart in the matter, whereas in Rie Yoshizawa’s case, there’s a certain resignation to it. She’d HOPED that her sister would respect her wishes, but when she doesn’t, while she’s disappointed, she puts her mask carefully back on, somewhat brusquely asking Bess to bow for her one last time before nearly collapsing when Bess leaves, as that queenly facade crumbles. I do think, that being said, that Yuki Mirai resembles the historical Mary a little more, and I do still like her portrayal. I think that, when I think of Lady Bess’ Mary, I do tend to think of her, though I do think that, when it came down to it, I do slightly prefer Rie Yoshizawa’s take. (Though, again, both of them did a WONDERFUL job with the role and my opinion might change over lunch. I’ve gone back and forth on this one for well over 2-3 years, I’m not likely to come to any solid conclusions any time soon.)
Philip II
............I like both of them, for various reasons, and I think that who you go with depends entirely on what you’re looking for in the role. I fell in LOVE with Genki Hirakata’s strutting, flamboyant prince, and it was really, really obvious that he was having the time of his life in the role. Hirakata played up Philip’s (nonhistorical, going to emphasize that lest I get slammed) bisexuality, which...honestly, I do kind of like, but also does play into the long, long list of examples in Japanese theatre in particular of using LGBT+ characters as either humor, fanservice (LOOKING AT YOU, ZUKA), or as a way to emphasize a character’s villainy or hedonism (Artois 1789).
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But also. I totally shipped it. #BessWho. 
He’s FUN to watch, he does really make Philip a very memorable character, and of course I was drawn to him at first, because it’s very hard NOT to be. I thought that Furukawa’s Philip, at least at first, was rather colorless and dry in comparison. 
But! But! As time went on, I warmed up to him a lot. Furukawa’s Philip is much more of a schemer. Genki Hirakata’s Philip was still a schemer, yes, but he didn’t really emphasize it, and he kind of pulls it out every once in a while only to put it back where it came from (during Gardiner’s downfall, he’s very flippant the entire time, not quite breaking character as the party prince even as he knows, fully well, what the glass of poison contains, while Furukawa smiles, but each smile contains a dagger in it), and, for the most part, is here for a good time, not a long time. When Bess rejects him, it’s a mild annoyance, the same you’d expect (in a best case scenario) from a frat boy who made a bet with his mates that he’d get the girl in the back and she turned him down. He’s frustrated for HIS sake, but it isn’t a personal loss, not really. With Furukawa’s, there’s real FRUSTRATION in there, as he realizes that he’s going to lose England. Furukawa’s Philip might be flamboyant on the surface, but it’s hiding a mind of absolute steel, and he has his own ambitions and plans for the future. I can see how his Philip, very easily, can grow into the Philip II that will set the Armada on England. 
I feel like...if you’re interested in Philip as comic relief/ship bait, you’ll like Genki Hirakata’s. If you’re here for Philip as more of a serious villain, Furukawa nailed it. 
Overall...I like BOTH casts, for various reasons, though I do think that Star Cast is the best, simply because, in a musical like this.....you HAVE to get the best Bess you can, and I feel like that’s Aya Hirano. The musical revolves around her and what she wants, and she truly OWNS the role. This was the musical that really, really made me appreciate her as an actress and that made me look out for anything she’s been in since, and I can tell that she put a LOT of herself in it. 
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purplesurveys · 4 years ago
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survey by vsmilee  Have you ever been to Disneyland? Nope. I’d like to visit a Disneyland at least once in my life just to say that I’ve gone there, but overall I think it’s too tourist-y for me and I might just find the sheer amount of people annoying.
What's your favorite color? I like pink and its different shades.
What's your boyfriend's name? I don’t have one.
How many siblings do you have? Two.
Do you sing in the shower? Eh, sometimes. But I typically don’t because I hate hearing my singing voice and the echo in the bathroom just makes it louder.
When you get dressed in the morning, what do you put on first? Well, underwear.
What do you do right before you go to sleep? I pick a video to watch and then let the background noise lull me to sleep.
How far have you gone with someone of the opposite sex? Slow dancing, lmao. I’ve never been physical with a guy.
Have you ever been drunk? Yes. Ah, college days. I did some pretty dumb shit too.
It's 2am and your phone rings. Do you answer it? Yes, as long as I know the person. If they’re calling at 2 AM there must be a reason, and it’s always better to treat everything as an emergency instead of having regrets in the end.
What would be a good reason for you to skip school? I didn’t feel like going to class. I’m not that hard to influence, ha.
Are you in a band? Nope, never been.
As a child did you ever suck your thumb or fingers? I don’t think that was ever an issue with me. If it was, my mom would have had endless stories about it but she’s never mentioned anything about me sucking my thumb, so.
Do you twirl your hair? It’s not really a quirk of mine. I brush my fingers through it a lot more often.
What make is your cell phone? Apple.
What is your dad's name? Edgardo. He hates his main nickname so I won’t share it on here, but I do know he’s made it a point to be known as Ed in his workplace.
Do you have a planner or calendar? I have neither. We do have a Google Sheets file at work where we list down the tasks we do everyday, and I guess that counts as my planner since that’s how I keep track of my deliverables.
Do you keep a journal? I’ve started keeping one, yes. But I don’t write on it everyday or even weekly. I just do so whenever I feel like it.
What's your biggest secret? The biggest one I’ve ever kept was probably my relationship with Gabie. And this blog, haha.
What is your favorite subject in school? History. All kinds of it. Language class in middle school was also fun because it literally just taught English grammar, which I had already mastered at that point.
What year do/did you graduate high school? I graduated in 2016.
What do you want to major in in college? I majored in journalism. I’m done with college as well.
What is your best friend's name? Angela, Gabie. Take your pick.
What is your favorite TV show? Breaking Bad. I recently came across the “Stay out of my territory” scene after several years of not watching it and holy fuck. I need to watch the whole damn series again. The writing is unbelievable.
What time do you usually go to bed? It ranges from 9 PM to 12 AM. Depends on how much caffeine is still left in my system at the end of the day.
What side of the bed to you sleep on? It’s a twin, it’s not like there are sides haha. But back when Gab and I would sleep in the same bed, I was always on the right side.
Where are your parents right now? My mom is either still at work or on her way home from work. I’m guessing my dad is already in the kitchen preparing dinner.
How many days old are you? According to a quick Google search, 8211 days. 
What do you want to wish for? Some goddamn normalcy. I’m also wishing for a full-time job, but I’ve been happy in my internship too so I’m not feeling too desperate for the former now.
What are you hoping to achieve this year? Well I planned to come out after graduating, but that never panned out. Otherwise, I’ve done everything I had set out to do for 2020 - graduate, graduate with honors, finish my thesis, (kinda) get employed, start earning my own money. There’s a lot to be proud of, now that I think about it.
Do you love anyone? Yes.
Does anyone love you? I hope.
What's your favorite animal? Dogs or elephants.
Have you ever been to the zoo? Yeah, once. Hated the experience. It was a family trip though so I couldn’t get out of it.
What is your favorite ride at Disneyland?
What is your favorite teacher's name? I don’t want to say full names but the name of my favorite teacher from my first school starts with an E, and the name of my favorite prof in college starts with...oof, also an E, heh.
Have you ever been in marching band? No, we don’t have that kind of club here.
What group were/are you a part of in high school? I was in yearbook, a media club, and table tennis.
Do you have any enemies? Nope.
Have you ever been a cheerleader? Nah. I like watching cheerdance competitions, but I was never one of them.
Did you ever date anyone on the football team? Nah, I wasn’t interested in them. Plus they all dated each other anyway.
What is/was your rival school in high school? Tbh all the all-girls schools in Metro Manila and other neighboring cities act like rivals, but there’s never been any official feud among us or between any two schools.
What grade in school was your favorite? I liked Grade 7 and Years III and IV.
Where do you want to go to college? I wanted to go to UP and ended up going to college – and graduating – there.
How many stars can you see in the sky right now? I can make out one very bright star, but there’s also a big tree blocking most of my view when I look out the window.
What is your favorite color? This was the second question on this survey. I answered pink.
If you could eat dinner with anyone (dead or alive) who would you choose? My grandpa so I can get him up to speed with all the things I’ve done and achieved since he passed.
Do you believe in God? No.
Do you sleep with stuffed animals? Never did.
What is your favorite book? I don’t have any.
Who is your favorite actor/actress? Kate Winslet.
What's the worst lie you've ever told? I don’t like telling lies. If I do, they’re small, forgettable ones.
Are you pretty gullible? Quite, yeah. It makes me an easy target for both family and friends, haha.
How many consecutive days have you ever missed of school? I think it was around 3-4 days, when my dad booked a trip to Bali in the middle of a school week.
What do you want right now? Well it turns out my dad had food from Shakey’s delivered so I just wanna be all over that right now...
Have you ever been pregnant? Never have.
What is your favorite kind of chocolate? Milk chocolate laced with peanut butter.
Who is most likely to read this? It’s hard to tell. Maybe a couple of people, maybe no one but me.
What are you going to do after you're done? Probably take another one orrrrrrr go on YouTube.
Are you in love with anyone? Yeah.
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