#I do whatever works for me basically
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idontmindifuforgetme Ā· 1 year ago
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friend wanted to see my tumblr, and when i told him i canā€™t show it to him bc itā€™s basically my personal diary he went ā€œoh so I canā€™t see it but a bunch of strangers on tumblr can??ā€ he literally does not get me. no one will get me like the people in my phone get me
#Itā€™s just so different#even though itā€™s public it still feels secret and safe. i feel comfy sharing a lot more on here than I do in my actual day to day life lol#in my head Iā€™m also just speaking to myself 90% of the time which helps#if a friend off tumblr saw my thoughts Iā€™d feel so weird ab it#esp bc they might get the vagueposting about certain situations and tell mutual friends#no thank u. this is for me. Iā€™m not about to start censoring my thoughts bc someone I know knows my tumblr#u guys literally saw me have LIVE BREAKDOWNS#meanwhile Iā€™ll have the worst fucking day in history and tell no one about it. Iā€™m already cripplingly private but way more so in real life#this is basically a low stress journaling outlet for me. itā€™s so important for me to maintain the separation#like this is actually my diary & has been so handy for letting out emotions / articulating thoughts / staying on track !!#& Iā€™ve met so many kind people on here who actually get me. which is so hard to find irl bc Iā€™m surrounded by pre-med gunners/overachievers#who are by standard not very good w emotion & can be competitive/judgmental. or at least itā€™s hard for me to be vulnerable in front of them#and Iā€™m part of that crowd so I reserve my emotions only to a handful of very close friends#itā€™s nice to hop on here and express negative emotions!! or positive emotions!! just whatever I want and itā€™s low stress and people get me#I donā€™t have to worry about judgment or competitiveness etc etc#like everyone on here is so kind & nice & understanding. & just a breath of fresh air from the types I run w. itā€™s just nice to have this#so idk thatā€™s why I think Iā€™ll always be strict about keeping the worlds separate. it just works#p
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mossy-aro Ā· 4 months ago
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ultimately i think my insistence on aro positivity honestly is as much a political stance as a personal one.
when i say aro positivity is crucial and that i dislike doomer-ist posts that express sentiments like 'I hate being aro so much I wish I was dead insteadā€™ it's not because I donā€™t think there can and should be a space for negativity and acknowledging self-hate, or the many ways being aromantic can really suck sometimes. i find that to be very important!
that being said. there is smth here about how self-hate posts are sometimes just arophobia that we inflict on ourselves. and when we put that out into the ether it (intentionally or not) can become arophobia that we inflict on other members of the community. i think there absolutely needs to be a place for negativity and the expression of anger and frustration and self loathing even - these are all good things to talk about because these are things that we experience. that being said, it can also be genuinely upsetting and triggering to people to have what is essentially arophobia shown to them and then have that be validated by other aspec people. your personal thoughts can affect your wider community on a level you may not anticipate. and i understand it i truly do! it took me so long to be able to recover from accepting being aroace - it threw my entire world off kilter and made me question everything about my place in the world.
but my insistence on aro joy and positivity is because ultimately i do believe that building is at the core essence of it all. that ultimately discussions and the purpose of community should be about construction, not destruction. and this is both a personal and a political stance. talking about how much you hate yourself and cultivating online discussions/spaces where negativity about aspec identity is the main and only theme is destructive - if thatā€™s where we let the conversation end. these thoughts can and should be used as a vehicle to look for a path forward!
joy and positivity create a space where the focus can become on forging a path forward, on construction, on community building instead of tearing ourselves and others down with negative thoughts. itā€™s not productive or healthy when it stops at a place of negativity - it becomes actively destructive to the essence of community.
and i do think that this is especially poignant considering the fact that being any kind of queer, but especially aromantic (and/or asexual) means forging a path for yourself and making your own happiness where there is no obvious way forward. our communities exist mostly online (right now, anyway), there is little recognition of our existence in the real world, the effects of amatonormativity are both pervasive and actively dehumanising, and there are legal, economic and social structures in place actively making our lives more difficult. yes that all sucks! itā€™s good to acknowledge that. we need to in order to change it. but more importantly, thatā€™s not the end. we are still here and our happiness, our future is for us to determine. even if we canā€™t change the laws or society, loving yourself and understanding aromanticism as a political identity (as well as personal), as a radical worldview, and as a protest against amatonormativity is essential for both community and personal well being. the personal is political.
tldr. i guess my point is that as a community, we should focus on building, improving, and nurturing ourselves and each other (construction) as opposed to destruction. we should recognise aromanticism and asexuality as political identities as well as personal ones and rely on community and self-love in the absence of anything else as a form of protest and political power. destruction (the recognition of everything that is wrong) is essential as a starting point - but where do we go from there? we rebuild.
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stiffyck Ā· 25 days ago
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I WISH ARO HEADCANONS WERE MORE POPULAR IN FANDOMS
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guardians-of-exo Ā· 3 months ago
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Moodboards by Pinterest
It's taken me way too long to get this done (hoped it would be by your birthday this year...) but I just want to say thank you for being the most amazing mutual and friend all these years @starchild--27 šŸ’œ
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nostalgebraist Ā· 1 month ago
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Due to recent experiences, I am feeling an urge to make an anti-drug-style PSA except it's warning impressionable machine-learning-curious teens to never, ever try a thing called "Huggingface transformers Trainer"
Not. Even. Once.
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yardsards Ā· 8 months ago
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you may say that i am "suffering from severe clinical depression" but i prefer to call it "being in my mithrun era"
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chesthighwater Ā· 2 months ago
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guy who wants to be emperor SO FUCKING BAD but isn't and has to actively conspire to get there. guy who is in cahoots with him and refers to him as emperor/your highness/my lord/other unearned royal titles in private- perhaps as a show of loyalty, or ingratiation, or certainty in their mutual success, or just 5d chess manipulation. and also it is a sex thing i mean you get me you see my vision
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vynnyal Ā· 7 months ago
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Turns out Sunlit Trail isn't quite done just yet, so after all that they just send you to a dead end šŸ˜‚
#rain world#comic#rw chasing wind#sunlit Trail#Hunter#Art#Chasing wind spoilers#I can't imagine anyone filters that tag but just in case sksksks#ANYWAYS turns out mod is way better than I expected and it's super well made.#So far made the trip as hunter (first time) then riv and now working on arti.#For arti I realized that howling rifts led to sub and sub led to dar shore so I was like sweet! A shortcut!#Now imagine for a sec trying to get through a parkcore + miros bird gauntlet with a corpse and a worm within 5 cycles#before the scav ran out of karma and you were stuck inside forever. Yeah#Besides that tho I've been messing around and been very tenderly modding the game.#Turns out you can have a bit of fun with most sprites without too much effort by simply cloning the MSC mod in your files#Then changing the copy's mod info so it doesn't clash and simply swapping images out for whatever you want#As long as you have the sprite name you can do this. You can also change region names and decals and music all sorts of stuff.#In short I've been brewing a custom mod for a friend to make her suffer as much as possible <3#Thanks to a buddy on the rw server for showing me that trick btw lol. The best cesspool I've ever participated in#Oh before I forget- the symbol on CW's head is completely made up. They just looked so... Bald.#Tbh I wasn't expecting their personality to be so... bright? Most interpretations make them kinda solemn and gloomy#But nah this CW is what NSH should've been 100%. I like them. Not gonna spoil too much but their situation is somehow so... chill.#Still bad tho!#Other fun news! There's a scammer going around on discord that's basically like ''bad news I reported you for fraud''#And they're getting a lot of people. My buddy that owned my home server got hit and we lost everything. It's all OK tho nobody was hurt#I keep trying to ask them questions on my alts but they're ignoring me... I kinda wanna bait them into doing the scam with me#to see how far I get before they catch on šŸ˜œ#Wasting a scammer's time is never a waste of time#Ah I had more to say but I reached my tag max. Till next time- hopefully my animation project will be done by then!
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ywpd-translations Ā· 7 months ago
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Ride 774: Kiji, coming!!
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Pag 1
1: Welcome, to the Emperor's throne!!
My aim is the double crown!!
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Pag 2
4: Ahhh... you're fast, the two of you
I thought I could catch you for sure at 2km left
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Pag 3
1: But it took me until ā€œ1km leftā€, yon!!
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Pag 4
3: Ah!?
He
4: caught up!? Who....
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Pag 5
1: who the hell are you!?
2: The two people in the lead are taking the curve and passing the sign that says that there's 1km left until the sprint line.....
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Pag 6
1: No, it's three people!!
Three people passed the ā€œ1km leftā€ sign!!
2: There's more people!? Since when!?
Wasn't it two people!?
What happened!? Who's that? That jersey-
At the last curve, suddenly-
3: It's not ā€œwho are youā€....!!
Dammit!! I know!! This guy!!
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Pag 7
1: There's one more person who we need to pay special attention to
2: Gunma Ryousei's third year, Kiji Kyuui
3: Ohh, Kiji? Who's that
Oi, I already told you about this in advance, Manami!! Come on, at the sea
Is that so?
4: What's your data about him?
5: There's basically no record of him in road racing
6: He's an..... ā€œassassinā€ from the MTB world, huh
7: Is he aiming for the goal?
8: Yeah.... the goal...
That's right....
We should be glad
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Pag 8
1: That he's only aiming for the goal
2: Hayaaaa!!
3: Dammit!! The first result.... so you're aiming for the sprint too!?
4: Since they said you were aiming for the goal I thought you were a climber like Manami!!
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Pag 9
1: Let's speed up, Orange!! He'll catch up!!
2: I've seen it before!! This guy's jersey
3: That day.... he appeared suddenly on that bike with the thick tires
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Pag 10
1: It's the guy who chased Onoda-san and the Hakogaku guy with the bouncy hair!!
2: Before that, Onoda-san said they were friends and that he's ā€œstrongā€!!
3: He's coming to catch up to
4: mine and San-na's battle
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Pag 11
1: He really is strong!!
Let's switch, I'll pull!!
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Pag 12
1: Orange!!
3: They're in tune
You have amazing judgment and explosive power!!
4: When I caught up at the last curve
5: Even though they could have also accepted me and made me join them
Without making eye contact or calling out to each other, in an instant at the same time they made the decision
6: that they would ā€œcooperateā€ to leave me behind!! Yon!!
You're really....
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Pag 13
4: What's that
He's lowering his stance and pushing on the handles like he's about to dance....!!
5: Hayaaaa
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Pag 14
1: You're really close friends!!
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Pag 15
4: He lined up to us in one go!?
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Pag 16
1: This guy!! Was it an optical illusion? Just now, I saw something like a cloud of dust behind me
2: Takadajou told us this
Be careful
3: I've been told that the power that a MTB rider can produce in a short time
4: is 1.5 times that of a road racing cyclist
5: This guy can match this top speed!?
8: Ah!?
9: Huh!?
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Pag 17
2: In between!?
He came in between!?
Ah!?
3: You bastard, usually when one catches up he joins in the back
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Pag 18
1: It's road racing theory!!
4: This guy doesn't know the theory?
5: 800m left until the sprint line!!
6: 1
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Pag 19
1: 2
What's this- San-na, did this guy suddenly started counting
2: What's this
The sign for an attack?
3: 3
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Pag 20
2: Alright, I recovered
5: Well then, I'll go
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Pag 21
1: Ahead, yon
2: So it really was a sign for attacking!!
Who's that guy!!
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mitskiluvr Ā· 7 months ago
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replaying mystic messenger is so crazy because why am i gentle parenting these grown men and teaching them how to handle their feelings
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st4rstudent Ā· 7 months ago
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stubborn
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no text ver
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deoidesign Ā· 4 months ago
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Hello! I just discovered your blog and I immediately became captivated by your webcomic, but I'm unsure where to read all of it. I know it's on Webtoons, but I can see it hasn't been updated for a while, and you still post about it.
Are your physical novels just prints of the webcomic? Are they a continuation? Is the story complete? Thanks in advance!
Hi there!
Glad you found me and are enjoying my comic!
It's only on webtoons, and the story is not complete yet! We're 2/3 of the way through right now. It's currently on hiatus, and it's scheduled to come back in about 2 months!
I'll explain why it's been so long if you're curious, but also for my followers who might also be wondering about it under the cut. Sorry, it's pretty much just me complaining haha
I took a month off I took 2 months to get the books printed I took a month to prepare my next comic and I took 2 months to write the rest of the series (I knew the character arcs I wanted, but not the time periods or mysteries!!!) I've been working on actual episodes since then
I had to take some time off because of some pretty extreme burnout due to the sheer amount of work it was to draw over 800 pages and write 6 complete stories in a year and a half... I was getting sick almost weekly due to the overwork, it was really really bad honestly. I was having to work 60+ hours every week just to keep up...
The nature of the comic itself is also difficult... Each of the arcs is a complete, self contained story which can be read (ideally) without context, and my arcs need to be about 10-13 episodes each... And since I have an exact number of episodes to work with, it's even harder.
It takes a ton of planning and a ton of refinement, and working week to week with no breaks I was forced to put out second or even first drafts, so I just wasn't happy with the work I was doing... And to do that for the rest of the series? I wouldn't be proud of the work I did.
Plus... To be entirely honest, webtoon has treated me quite badly IN MY OPINION... They deprioritized me before I launched (I had to beg for more promotion, I'm not exaggerating), they outright denied me the opportunity to even ask for a raise, I don't make any money on fast pass and they pay me less than my partner makes working at trader joes. My first editor left me completely hanging, my second editor (who I loved) was fired... And they told me I wouldn't get a third season before my first season even finished. So it was just repeatedly completely demoralizing.
I'm sorry it has taken so long, it'll have been 10 months by the time I come back. But I realized... I won't get promotion either way. I won't get more episodes either way. I won't get more money either way. So to finish everything, to make it feel good, to make it something I'm proud of, I chose to take longer to make it better.
I am fully aware I will lose a significant amount of my readership for this and it might genuinely affect my career moving forward. But it's what I had to do! So I'm sticking to my guns on it, and I'm confident long term it'll be worth it. It never could have been this good if I didn't take this much time.
#asks#steakandpeanutbuttersandwiches#I'm SO sorry youre new and you asked me such a benign question and I responded with... this... LMAO#I swear to god I tried to make it as short as possible#theres just a lot auauuaghkhgjk#basically. way too much work. not enough money.#so it either is gonna be good and take longer or be worse but come back faster#and I chose to take longer#so.#I'm really sorry and I wish that this decision didn't also come with the... pretty much guarantee that it will negatively impact my career.#I will lose readers. I will lose potential readers for my future work. it looks bad on me as a creator to take such a big break. etc. etc.#but it's good. it's so good. you have to trust me it's like the best stuff Ive ever written#it. ok well to be honest#it'll probably feel extremely simple and extremely natural#but it's been SO much work LMAO#I am not exaggerating I have written over 200 pages of scapped ideas to get to where it is#I'm sure it won't make sense why it took so long while reading but you gotta trust me LMAO#ideally it doesnt even 'feel' different right. cause its gotta be cohesive with the whole thing#but there is SO MUCH TO WRAP UP#THERES SO MUCH#and to make that feel natural in this little space oh my GOD it is so hard#ok omfg I'm doing it again I'm going on way too long again IM SO SORRY#YOURE NEW HERE AND IM DOING THIS IMMEDIATELy#this is like 90% for my followers who I know are curious about this and I'm just using you as a jumping off point to talk about it#cause I don't really like to make standalone posts very often#I likely will make some kind of official announcement about it when the date is extremely set in stone#right now I think it's still only tentatively scheduled so it could still change#and I'll say something more... refined and restrained... then.#but for now this is like. actually everything. I think#I'm sure I forgot something but whatever lmfao
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stardynamite Ā· 11 months ago
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Quick mikey doodle page to avoid getting into art block a week before the portfolio submission deadlines lmaooo
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bunnieswithknives Ā· 3 months ago
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sorry if idk this but what do you think about Wordgirl now in 2024 do you still like it do you still want to make art or talk about it or are you just done with all of it forever and plus i seen that you haven't made art of it since 2022 so you just done with all of it oh yeah and what about The Magnus Archives + Wordgirl ao3 fic too like is that just going to be and i know that your working on 2 au's now just wanting to know that's all
My interests tend to come in intense bursts and then fade. Unless something like, big happens like it gets a reboot its unlikely I'll be coming back to it anytime soon. As for the fic I don't have any current plans to finish it unfortunately.
#Its so shocking whenever anybody mentions that fic to me#like its just such a specific combo of interests how are there this many people interested in it...#I have some fragments of unfinished chapters for it laying around but I was struggling to get them to work#and I definitely dont have the motivation to finish them now#If youre curious the chapters were going to be Slaughter avatar miss Power and Web avatar Mr Big#and possibly Flesh avatar Butcher but I never got around to starting that one#The Miss Power chapter was basically going to be about her having kind of lost her thread#I wanted to leave a lot of ambiguity as to what happened with her home planet#but she hadnt been in contact with them for agessssss and her radio is damaged and her ship is in bad shape#the chapter was just going to be her being like 'pfff I dont interpersonal connection Im doing great out here. Murdering. All on my own'#Well she has her little squirl thing but she treats him like an animal#mr giggle cheeks or whatever#anyway I wanted it to imply that whatever happened her bloodthirst was destroying her#The Mr Big chapter was from Lesley's perspective#She would have been one in a long long line of assistants that Mr Big went through like candy#Lesley is his favorite though because. while she is terrified of him. shes still willing to push him. to be honest with him#but she also knows exactly when to step off. when to lie to appease him#( its always a tossup as to whether he wants a sweet lie or the harsh truth that day. He can always tell either way#its a gamble he does to be cruel. She always picks right though. or maybe he's more lenient with her than he should be)#He likes that she knows exactly how to push him without ever stepping over the line#He likes that her guilt and revulsion are slowly eating her up inside but shes too selfish to leave#She likes being special. She likes the idea of ruling the world alongside him#She'll always be second in command but shell be so much higher than everyone else#and shes willing to do anything to get that#Mr big doesnt think shell ever make it that far#but he likes her anyway#shes the one assistant he'll be sad about dying#OK damn apparently I did still have things to say about this old fic DAMN#still not gonna finish it tho. they call me the struggler becaus.e writing is a struggle...
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spaghett-onaplate Ā· 7 months ago
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depression is really weird actually wdym i spent 2.5 years of my life in bed
#and wdym that lifestyle changed so quickly into being out and about and an active member of the world??#very proud of myself#and i mean it wasn't that quick of a change#it was like 1.5 years primarily depression bedrotting with occasional school -> primarily depression bedrotting ->#primarily depression bedrotting with 3-9 hours of work weekly -> straight into 31+ hours school+9-12 hours work weekly#so there was somewhat of a gradual progression#but still#also wowza i wake up 7-7:30am every morning now. 1pm was an early wake up for a not so insignificant amount of time#i mean of all fundamental growth years to miss out on the ages like what 12/13-15 aren't too bad? they would suck in a different way if i#had been socially involved#anyway it's just. yea i'm proud of myself but it is a crazy lifestyle change#and even when i was deeply depressed in a horrible routine i feel like i learned a lot. how to regulate my emotions and cope well and find#the joy in everything. bc if i stayed in bed all day then i would at least be happy about the sun or whatever#and for the while of being not at school at all i WANTED to be at school i just could not find one bc our school system is so cute like tha#(basically every school is at capacity and the local school that has a guaranteed place for me would have been an all boys or girls šŸ˜­)#but i miraculously found and got into this school and miraculously made it work so well for me socially and now academically#it's also a good time to get back into school for my education bc any later and it woulda been pretty bad for all my certifications and uni#ive missed out on so much maths that its not worth it to me to try and catch up but my teacher knows that#but ive always hated maths regardless i only ever understood it for the first half of yr 7 then my attendance dropped#and after my recent exam i decided to try harder at school. but i still got an A on the exam i didn't study for!! academic weapon fr#i'm just idk thinking back to myself in the past few years#and how hopeless it all felt. but i got out of it!! i beat the depression and social anxiety and found a good place and made the most of it#and during the peak of my depression i remember i went out someplace near my old school and panicked so so badly about seeing#kids from my old school. and the friends at the time didnt really check on me when i went to shake and cry in a side street lmao#i kept the best of that friendgroup and have better friends now. but anyway now i take a bus each morning with some kids from my old school#and you see these hands? they look like they're shaking to you?#anyway yeah it's just cool i got to this point :) i really had no hope for so long but now i have a life i'm living and a future i'm build#--ing towards#which is funny i just decided some random day last november after watching some better call saul 'huh actually lawyer would b pretty cool'#and will i get there? we'll see but i do have hope now
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diabolicjoy Ā· 2 years ago
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mittens !!!! pattern X - i modified a bit because my yarn was a bit more thick, so i shortned a few rows of the colorwork & added the burnt orange details instead :)
#remember when i posted almost a month ago about a friend that commissioned some mittens#?#so yeah the one i was making initially turned out fine i suppose#i even posted the picture here#but the i noticed the sizing wasnā€™t right & the yarn i was using was sooo annoying to work it i just couldnā€™t get it right... it was also#like dyed like ombrĆ©? & the colors were a bit off. like each mitt had a different color like the werenā€™t even a pair...#but i was insisting too much like i undid & knitting that thing like +10 times#knitted*#so i decided so grab some yarn that i like for my mittens & that iā€™m already familiar with & found this pretty pattern & so!! ta-da!!#itā€™s so much nicer than the other one. also my friend wasnā€™t that specific & gave me a lot of liberty do to whatever#she gave me a general idea of the colors she liked so these are perfect#also the inspo pics she sent me all had this kinda fair isle design but at first i was a little intimidated so i barely did it on that one#first mitten that i had posted. so iā€™m glad i tried a diff pattern a managed to make these!!!!#anyway thatā€™s basically what my month was all about lol worrying abt the mitts then finally finding a solution#also i got a commission from a instagram mutual to crochet a bag with that little sleepy snoopy design on it!! iā€™ve seen it on tumblr a few#times now & iā€™m excited to finish this project & finally get to it!! already bought the yarn & itā€™s so pretty#SO MANY TYPOS SORRY#girl knits world#knitting
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