#I do want to read that biography tho

[sforzesco]

normally the biography on Theodosius costing $50 (making it out of my price range for something that’s currently a casual curiosity) and not available through other means would have me go ‘alright! We’re done here, back to Valens!’ however the Subleyras painting with Theodosius and Ambrose has me feeling some kind of way and what is usually an insurmountable obstacle is like. nbd. improvise, adapt, overcome. I will simply have to eat Theodosius.

[fideidefenswhore]

was surprised to see AL get some votes here, but i’ll try to post more quotes from her

[kisshim]

also epitome of i can’t have him is when he’s fucking someone younger than you and he’s also younger than you and i guess he doesn’t like older women 🤒

[mushroomates]

gimli headcanons:

likes doing laundry. finds it soothing

history nerd!! loves reading old tombs/biographies of his ancestors

is incredibly intelligent. beats frodo in chess. would beat gandalf but gandalf cheats. has been in a stalemate with aragorn for two and a half years.

well mannered but chooses to forgo his politeness to make a point. especially around elves.

does NOT like horses. not just riding them, which is canon, but actually dislikes the animal itself. the reasons why include (but are not limited to) :

he does not like being not on ground. he does not have a fear of heights so much as a fear of… feet not on ground. as evidenced by refusal to jump, treehouses, and well, horses

he does not like their faces. they are long and have eyes on the side like prey. gimli thinks this is deceiving as horses are very large and can kick in someone’s skull. not his skull.

gimli believes that in a one on one match with a horse, he could easily win. he has thought of several, very specific, scenarios of this and has a detailed plan of attack should this situation occur.

they so easily turned against their home for an evil overlord (read: sauron stole all the black horses from rohan) and therefore cannot be trusted. as a rule, anything that willing you let you ride it cannot be trusted. they can’t be satisfied with this life. they are plotting something.

believes he would be great at drums. it’s just hitting things hard and he’s pretty strong.

ok, another thing about horses: they are fragile to a ridiculous extent. you breath wrong and it breaks. they have bad bones and bad blood flow in their legs, and their legs are all that they’re used for. he doesn’t understand why humans invested so much time into horses when they’re genetically bad at what they are meant to do. he’d feel bad for the horses if they weren’t so awful.

drinks coffee, not tea

takes great with the up keeping of his gear. he sharpens his axes, polishes his boots, shines his armor and waxes his mustache. that’s not gear, but he takes great pride in looking groomed and caring for his belongings.

has an axe for every occasion. battle axe? do you want throwing or slashing. a day on the town? have you seen this intricately carved masterpiece that also is a weapon? digging a hole? PICKAXE. cutting a cake? how about an axe???

hates the rain because it ruins his hair and beard. also loves the rain because it ruins legolas’s hair and clothes.

will eat anything. has a great tolerance for spice. contrary to popular belief, dwarves are not shy of seasoning but are very cautious around other races in fear of poisoning their friends

will also eat some rocks. salty is his favorite (halite, hanksite, glauberite) but also likes to add chunks of chalcanthite to his food for a slightly sweet yet metalic flavor. this is also slightly (SLIGHTLY) poisonous as evidenced by sharing his trail mix with boromir

also calls dirt the “local seasoning”

will taste dirt to try and get a feeling for the land. this tells him the acidity, weather, possible wildlife, and also pisses off legolas

actaully genuinely likes the taste of dirt. (note: if you desire to eat clay/dirt that is a symptom of iron deficiency. for gimli, he eats spoonfuls of the stuff like their supplements because as a kid it was fed to him like multivitamins)

OK SO HEAR ME OUT: lack of sunlight can cause really low hemoglobin and ferritin (a blood protein that contains iron) sooo being constantly in dark caves can cause some forms of iron deficiency. because dwarves are conscious of their young, dwarf children often grow up not often being in direct sunlight.

the solution? dirt. dirt contains iron and other tasty minerals that are good for the body. charcoal has natural antioxidants. so does clay. am i saying that momma gimli (unnamed) fed her son ash and clumps of dirt? yes. also bits of broken pottery. it’s good of the immune system.

fr tho clay/dirt/charcoal are the dwarven multivitamins. you have a tummy-ache? here, have a rock. i truly believe this was scientifically proven by dwarves and only FOR dwarves (plz do not eat dirt)

fuckin loves mushrooms. has a mushroom log at home. whenever dwarves find some fungai in a cave they go feral

likes dogs. thinks it’s great that they dig holes. thinks it’s fantastic that the bury things in holes. absolutes loves when they get muddy, and then shake off all water and dirt all over you.

when he came back home with the name lockbearer, a lot of the dwarves thought it was really cool and he has some sort of elven puzzle that requires a code to unlock something. imagine their surprise when he rocks up and is like: no, even better. HAIRS. three of them.

enjoys making mudpies- made them as a kid with his cousins, (mostly with rock slurry) and continues to, even even as an adult.

made them on the fellowship with the hobbits. taught them all about the best types of dirt and the water-to-soil- ratio needed.

while cutting up slices of his pie, he offered one to boromir, who in good nature, took it, clearly thinking it was just part of the bit.

poor boromir was locked in a stalemate after gimli cut his own slice, and began eating it.

to his credit, boromir did brave a few bites, but had to stop once he nearly had a mouthful of maggots

“protein”

gimli is like crazy good at hair. can braid quickly and efficiently in elaborate styles

picked up eleven hair style techniques in lorien (quicker than legolas) and was forced to relay them to the elf through twine as there is no way he’s letting grubby elf fingers to touch his glorious mane that’s been decades in the making

would ask for a drink “on the rocks” and get slightly upset if it did not come back with actual rocks

[deadflowerssociety]

Clever angel: beauty of knowledge🦢

🍓We live in the world, where pretty face is one of the most influential thing when trying to impress others. Although when it comes to building deeper relationships the one thing that truly matters is knowledge.

Sometimes we might catch ourselves feeling ignorant or insecure about our surroundings when others try to know us better🪷 That’s why I think everybody should increase theirs horizons!

“Not to know is bad, not to wish to know is worse.”🪼

🍓How to do it tho? In this post I will share with you some useful tips to actually increase your potential and to become the smartest person in the room🪷

1.Expand Your Reading Horizons🪷

Create a reading challenge list that includes:

• A biography of someone you admire

• A book about a country or culture you're curious about

• A piece of classic literature

• A modern science or technology book

• A self-improvement or psychology book

2.Leverage Online Learning🪼

Each month, pick a new skill or topic you want to explore. For instance:

• Sign up for a beginner's course in a language you've always wanted to learn, like Spanish or Japanese.

• Explore a creative writing workshop to enhance your expressive abilities.

• Dive into a web development course to understand the basics of coding.

3. Prioritize Physical Wellness🪷

Incorporate brain-boosting foods into your diet, such as:

• Snacking on walnuts or blueberries during your study or reading time.

• Adding fatty fish like salmon to your meals twice a week.

• Drinking matcha instead of coffee for a gentler caffeine boost and antioxidant benefits.

4. Make Journaling a Habit🪼

Besides daily reflections, include:

• Weekly goals and achievements

• Interesting facts or knowledge you learned that week

• Quotes from books or articles that inspired you

• Personal insights or ideas sparked by your new learnings

5. Embrace Mindfulness Practices🪷

To integrate mindfulness into your routine, try:

• Kicking off your mornings with a brief, 10-minute meditation centered on breathing, to refresh your mind and sharpen focus.

• Embarking on brief, mindful strolls, fully absorbing the sensations and sights around you, to rejuvenate your mind and spark creativity.

🪷Nothing feels as good as knowledge. It helps you show off your brightness and let you see what others can’t see. You can choose whatever topic you are interested in and uncover more secrets of humanity

I would really appreciate if you reblog and like this post🪷 Thank you🪼 stay safe

[lananakay]

I Don't Understand The Lesson Marius.

I recently re-read "The Vampire Armand" and I have a lot of questions for Mr. Marius de Romanus. While I spent a good portion of this book side-eyeing him, for this post I'm just going to focus on one thing that I just doesn't make sense...

Why did Marius send Amadeo (Armand) to the brothels?

In the book, Armand recounts the following in chapter 4:

"He said that I must go to the brothels, learn what it meant to couple properly-not merely in play, as we did among the boys."

Seriously, y tho? Marius isn't interested in intercourse, and while he participates in other forms of physical intimacy, it's not what gives him true pleasure which cancels out the first thing that came to my mind...grooming. Many predators expose their victims to increasing intensities of sexual images and actions to "normalize" the behaviors they wish to engage in. In Marius' case blood gives him pleasure...so again. Why the brothels? Just before sending him there, this conversation takes place between the two.

""Why do you never . . . Why do you never feel anything! Why do you handle me as if I were a poppet? Why do you never…?" "What is it you want me to feel, Amadeo?" he said. "You're like an angel, a statue," I said, only now I was chastened and trembling. "Master, you play with me and I'm the toy that feels all things." I drew nearer. I touched his shirt, sought to unlace it. "Let me-.""

He attempts the sexy time with Marius who stops him and bites into his neck drinking blood from him for the first time. (Not to be confused with the blood kisses he shared with Amadeo with earlier.)

"This is what I want of you." (Says Marius)

Soooo, Sir Marius de Romanus, why did you feel that Amadeo needed to learn to "couple properly"? Why did you need to send him to not only a female brothel, but also a male one, leaving him at both respectively for several days?

Then I thought..."Maybe he likes to watch?" I mean, I'm on the asexual spectrum and while I don't like engaging in sex and sexual activities, I do enjoy the idea of it. I like watching, reading, and listening to porn, soooo maybe he's the same? But no, and I know this because this man has the nerve to be pissy about it later!

"And so you're angry that I enjoyed it?" I asked.

Why had he said nothing? Why did he force me to these lessons which drove us apart? Why his anger at me for merely doing what he had told me? I wondered if the brothels had been a test of my innocence, and his admonitions to me to enjoy all of it had been lies."

Bruh, I'm just as confused as you are Amadeo. Marius has both of us like...

Between you and me, I think it was Anne who wanted Amadeo at the brothels, not Marius!

UPDATE AFTER READING "BLOOD AND GOLD".

After my last post asking why Marius sent Amadeo to the brothels, I had some conversations that led me to read "Blood and Gold" which is Marius' biography...I have many judgments! Many! But, for now I'll just focus on the brothel visits.

Before that, I have to apologize to the 2002 "Queen Of The Damned" adaptation because, while their twisting of the lore was both uncalled for and unnecessary, their depiction of Marius was pretty spot on...except for the hair of course!

Back on topic, I was surprised to find that Marius doesn't reflect on it much. It's also not mentioned (that is confirmed nor denied) that Marius had seen what happened while Amadeo was there. He never mentions seeing Amadeo with the English Lord either. Now, I'm not saying that he didn't see those things happen, just that I didn't get any more insight while reading his version of things. Additionally, he never mentions any jealousy of these events, although this is what Amadeo perceived at the time. It seems that what caused Marius' silent frustration was just his inner conflict of whether or not to turn him.

In fact, the only time he directly mentions it is when he recalls-

"I sent him off to the best brothels to learn the pleasures of women, and the pleasures of boys. He hated me for it, and yet he enjoyed it, and he came home to me eager for the Blood Kiss and nothing else." -Blood and Gold: Chapter 19

He hated it because you were acting weird. You had us both confused over here sir!

Some say he was trying to push Amadeo away (towards wanting a human life) by showing him the pleasures of the flesh, something he would (more or less) lose in if he became a vampire. I personally think bro is just a pretentious, narcissistic, hebephiliac

Speaking of Marius being a hebephile, the lessons at the brothels were even weirder because of Amadeo's age. I know, I know, times were different, manhood was different, life was different etc. Even so, Amadeo was incredibly young, even by ancient standards. I mean, Maruis says Amadeo:

"...was fifteen years old at the most when I took him out of the brothel that night and brought him to live with in the palazzo with my boys." Blood and Gold -Chapter 19

But, honestly though I think he was younger, mainly because of what Amadeo recounts:

"I was too young for a wet pleasure. I wonder if it was more what women feel. I thought it couldn't end. It became an agony of rapture, being caught in his hands, unable to escape, convulsing and twisting and feeling this ecstasy again and again and again." -The Vampire Armand: Chapter 2

To end this topic, It is what it is! I don't need a satisfactory explanation for all my wonderings...and it's impossible anyhow. I am glad it motivated me to read Blood and Gold though. It's a book I've owned for a while and never picked up. It's also given me a lot more to think (and post) about.

In conclusion...Just know that Amadeo and I feel the same about this! Confused and violated!

Photo Credits:

Marius de Romanus, Natalia Korchagina (artstation.com)

Group Of Angels, Sandro Botticelli

[lordspreyer]

Super hungry but very quickly: Updated Carm's biography. Not gonna make you read that long ass shit again so here's a rundown:

An unofficial official priest of the Cath'olic church. What does that mean? It means he was given the tools/knowledge of any person in seminary school who aims to become a priest, but he was not allowed to take his final vows or become ordained because everybody in the seminary school was iMMEDIATELY aware of Azrael's presence as soon as Carm walked in. I mean. That many religious leaders in one place not sensing a demon/fallen angel? C'mon.

Whatever. The clerygmen can make this work. We can't really make you a priest because hosting a demon (even tho it isn't your fault) is the exact opposite of being celibate. Sorry dude. But you know what we can do? Utilize your endangered soul in other exorcisms! You're already possessed so you can't get double possessed, right? Ha ha! And maybe doing a bunch of exorcisms will eventually cast your demon out. Probably not but hey! What else can we do?

Called 'Father Caster' by other clergymen because he's casting spells (ok really chanting prayers) and he is technically a spiritual leader-- But instead of guiding people to Jesus he is guiding evil spirits to Hell. Amen.

Everything else the same. Azrael is still trying to make a fallen angel army to overthrow God.

Originally, Carmichael was made an official priest that also performed exorcisms. Didn't really jive with this because it meant I couldn't write wholesome romance if I wanted and like. Travelling to perform exorcisms while also running a church every day seemed impossibly hard and unrealistic.

I also made a few changes to his early childhood. He still is put in foster care and adopted, but instead of being diagnosed with a psychotic disorder, he's diagnosed with PTSD with mental health professionals thinking that his 'angel' (Azrael; They think he's an imaginary friend) is just a trauma response from neglect.

[random-ideas-artblog]

Just finished watching the first detective Conan movie!

So I just finished it, and I was taking notes as I went through. I’m just going to post them below. It’s pretty rough because I typed while watching so these are real time thoughts. Overall I enjoyed it though.

Conan’s adorable when he gets the letter (blushing is cute)

Can’t believe the dork forgot his own birthday but remembered some Holmes trivia instead lol 

Ran is a such a sweetheart omg 

Mori really read through the dudes whole Wikipedia page lmao

Never mind I mean biography I forgot this was like 1997

Does this dude have OCD is that supposed to be the implication 

Garden party is cool but where are the bombs and skyscrapers what I sup 

Damn he can cook wow

I feel like the do everything myself is going to be Important

Ok he’s kind of sinister know idk why  

Yo why is he so interested in this teenage girls love life??? 

Conan you are so screwed 

Oh ok I see where the bomb and skyscraper are coming into play now 

Grudge against the architect maybe 

Wow that was a big explosion

Ok this whole situation is very weird why is he helping Conan 

What is the cat the fucking bomb???

There better not be any cat death in this movie I will cry 

How did the old woman not notice the bomb???

That old woman and driver are having very tame reactions to this insane kid 

Oops and he’s passed out. In the hospital too uh oh

Aw that cute Kogoro is by his bedside 

Wow Conan without the glasses really looks like a  shinichi copy  how has no one noticed 

You can’t use phones in hospitals what is this common knowledge I never learned 

Ok this looks really bad for Shinichi I pity him a bit lol now Kogoro things he’s scum 

Ok I have a theory: For whatever reason  architect is bombing stuff for an unknown reason. The guy shown has a beard but that’s probably just a disguise, architect said he likes to do things himself so that’s why I think it’s him. He doesn’t what there to be casualties or just wants someone to stop him.That’s why Shinichi was contacted he’s a well known detective. The password thing was a test for Mori to see if he can replace shinichi, but Conan figured it out and got a tour of the gallery. Which, COINCIDENTALLY, has buildings that have been bombed before (the mansion) and will be bombed (presumably the skyscraper based on info so far). It’s a deliberate clue. That’s also why the bomber is accepting Conan as a legitimate detective because he passed the test, but also giving hints because this js a kid he doesn’t want to kill him. It’s also just occurred to me that the architect was implied to have severe OCD or perfectionism. He could be bombing past builds because he thinks there’s some thing wrong with them and can’t stand to have their design be under his name. Something like that idk. I’m only 36 minutes in so we’ll see

Wait a minute maybe the reason architect was interested in the birthday date was because he wanted to know when and where Shinichi would be so he could plan the bombing around his schedule! Ran provided practically all the details too 

That’s cute the kids drew a picture (I know it’s a suspect but still)

He’s happy with it??? Damn Conan can’t draw at all 

That was a lot of damage to the car wow 

Rare Kudo shinichi appearance I missed you!!! Conan’s cute but shinichi as himself looks pretty cool haha 

Damn that’s a strong father son bond 

Laughing then hating that’s kinda of funny

Genta is going to shout out the word bombs isn’t he

…I knew it 

Wait no ones noticed these kids screaming bomb on the train?

I am so confused by the motivation pretty sure this means my theories are wrong damn 

Sick burn Ran lol 

Wow this whole diverting sequence is seriously dramatic and I love it 

Poor Ran she’s getting stood up 

The bridge! The architect doesn’t want to blow up that bridge because he’s actually happy with that work! That would fit with my previous theory 

Ok shiratori is being kind of suspicious. Kinda confirms my theory tho 

Conan dude that suggestion was not subtle at all  

Ok now what Mori has said it’s someone else I’m more convinced than ever it’s the architect 

Ok there’s a lot of emphasis being placed on him lighting the pipe same as the beginning 

Ok did the dad steal his kids designs or did he steal his dad’s?? Probably the latter 

Was I actually on to something with the pipe????

Uh new theory he’d bombing all the architecture that doesn’t fit the New Tama symmetrical city to try and get the building approved after the Mayors arrest 

Just saw the architect has a painting of a horse above the fireplace I don’t know why that’s amusing to me 

Mori you are so wrong it’s funny as hell 

That reaction was funny as hell 

It’s kind of creepy how the architect is just standing and staring down 

Go after him Shiratori hell yeah 

So the skyscraper in the tile only shows up in the last 20 minutes 

I was actually right with my theory?? Kind of. I got the reason he wanted Kudo to take the case wrong(it was revenge) but the motivation behind the bombing and who was bombing them was correct. 

Ok but now that it’s been proven it had nothing to do with the case, why was he so interested in the date it’s a little bit creepy ngl 

Oh damn the bombs actually went off that’s a lot of power 

Ok wow this dude is an asshole 

Wait he wanted to know about the date so he could plant a huge bomb that would kill Ran and Shinichi wtf 

Ok Ran is taking this very well wow she’s cool 

I wonder what everyone else in the lobby is thinking right now 

Wait did they do it wrong. Wait nvm that’s someplace else 

Seeing Kogoro so worried about Ran is kind of heartwarming, although the circumstances aren’t great 

Oh god it’s the classic red wire blue wire 

My bet is on red wire. It’s Ran’s favorite color and the couples lucky color for the month 

Bruh wtf is with this edgy commentary from the architect about love you’re such a loser Christ.I’m getting a bit heated haha 😅

Not the happy Birthday this is really sad 

We’ll be together when we die??? What the hell this is depressing but kinda sweet 

I just realized I started off a bunch of my comments with ok so. It’s not important or anything I just noticed that while reading through. I’d give this movie a 7/10. There were some interesting parts and it was fun theorizing but there are still some things I’m confused about. Why did he accept Conan as a detective? Why did he provide clues to the bombs??? If the motive was revenge wouldn’t it be better to have Shinichi fail? Maybe I missed something idk.

[got-into-worm-by-mistake]

Gestation 1.1 Live Reactions

(This is me, writing reactions as I read, because why the fuck not. They're not complete, mature thoughts taken after I sit back and evaluate what I've read. Consider them as such)

He was animated, clearly excited about what he was talking about, and for once, the class was listening.  He was the sort of teacher who tried to be friends with his students, the sort who went by “Mr. G” instead of Mr. Gladly.  He liked to end class a little earlier than usual and chat with the popular kids, gave lots of group work so others could hang out with their friends in class, and had ‘fun’ assignments like mock trials. He struck me as one of the ‘popular’ kids who had become a teacher.  He probably thought he was everyone’s favorite.  I wondered how he’d react if he heard my opinion on the subject.  Would it shatter his self image or would he shrug it off as an anomaly from the gloomy girl that never spoke up in class?

Well, certainly does a good job of making it clear what sort of character we're starting with, and what sort of character they're looking at.

Knowing where it goes, knowing how it ends.

Sure is a start, isn't it?

“Let me wrap up here,” Mr. Gladly said, “Sorry, guys, but there is homework for the weekend.  Think about capes and how they’ve impacted the world around you.  Make a list if you want, but it’s not mandatory.  On Monday we’ll break up into groups of four and see what group has the best list.  I’ll buy the winning group treats from the vending machine.”

Jesus Christ.

Though, I'm not sure if High School me would have found Mr. Gladly insufferable or not. I would have liked the lack of real homework, maybe. Hard to say. I wasn't a popular kid he'd have liked tho, and plenty nerdy and I didn't hate homework (for subjects I liked). Also, while I was bullied sometimes, hardly to the extent some people could be, let alone Taylor, so... very different perspectives.

I didn’t deck myself out in bright colors like a bird showing off its plumage

A very... odd phrasing, IMO. Maybe it felt less odd in 2011, or within a specific space of reading/writing. Or maybe I'm just reacting weird at this line because I had untoasted bread with jam for breakfast or what. Who the fuck knows? It stands out for some reason though.

The only book in my bag that I hadn’t already read was called ‘Triumvirate’, a biography of the leading three members of the Protectorate.  I was thinking I would spend as long as I could on Mr. Gladly’s assignment before reading, because I wasn’t enjoying the book.  Biographies weren’t my thing, and they were especially not my thing when I was suspicious it was all made up.

Obviously it's a little different reading the story when you know what things are, then when you go into it not knowing who the Triumvirate are, or the Protectorate or what a 'Cape' is (hasn't actually been explained quite yet). But I do. Still, trying to appreciate it cold, I do like the way the worldbuilding starts. The capital letters and the context makes it clear it's important in-universe, the reference to 'suspicious it was all made up' does as much worldbuilding by reference as mentioning the Triumvirate's existence. It's certainly nicely done.

I do wonder, obviously at some point this made it to Space Battles and got put up all over TV tropes, but how did it first start finding an audience? Where did Wildbow talk about it/share it/etc to first start to get traction?

Like, from what I gather, he was not prepared for the way Worm took off, and got so popular, and he sure wasn't prepared for the fandom he got, but I'm curious what he had been expecting when he started?

I could taste it as it ran down to my nose and mouth.  Cranberry juice.

I've heard about the juice incident and had it referenced in enough fics, etc, to know a lot about it, but no one, to my knowledge, ever said it was cranberry juice. Is there a reason Wildbow picked that? Or just because he needed to pick which juice and he picked it partially or totally at random? If there was a reason, how complex was it?

I'm definitely overthinking, more than I usually do when reading shit, but fuck it, why not?

Still. Odd that the detail of it being cranberry has literally never made it into any fic or reference to this event in discussions, etc, that I've seen.

Sophia and Emma were the types of girls that fit the ‘prom queen’ image.  Sophia was dark skinned, with a slender, athletic build she’d developed as a runner on the school track team.  Red-headed Emma, by contrast, had all the curves the guys wanted.  She was good looking enough to get occasional jobs as a amateur model for the catalogs that the local department stores and malls put out.  

I have to admit, while I don't really have a strong mental image of 'prom queen' anyway, 'slender, athletic runner's build' is not what I associate with prom queen. The way Emma is described seems to fit better.

“What the fuck!?” I screamed to nobody in particular, my voice echoing in the bathroom.  There were tears in the corners of my eyes. “The hell am I supposed to do!?”  I wanted to hit something, break something.  To retaliate against the unfairness of the world.  I almost struck the mirror, but I held back.  It was such a small thing that it felt like it would make me feel more insignificant instead of venting my frustration. I’d been enduring this from the very first day of high school, a year and a half ago.  The bathroom had been the closest thing I could find to refuge.  It had been lonely and undignified, but it had been a place I could retreat to, a place where I was off their radar.  Now I didn’t even have that.

ooooof. Just.

Ooof.

The buzzing at the edge of my consciousness was getting worse.  My hands shook as I bent over and gripped the edge of the sink, let out a long, slow breath, and let my defenses drop.  For three months, I’d held back.  Right now?  I didn’t care anymore. I shut my eyes and felt the buzzing crystallize into concrete information.  As numerous as stars in the night sky, tiny knots of intricate data filled the area around me.  I could focus on each one in turn, pick out details.  The clusters of data had been reflexively drifting towards me since I was first splashed in the face.  They responded to my subconscious thoughts and emotions, as much of a reflection of my frustration, my anger, my hatred for those three girls as my pounding heart and trembling hands were.  I could make them stop or direct them to move almost without thinking about it, the same way I could raise an arm or twitch a finger. I opened my eyes.  I could feel adrenaline thrumming through my body, blood coursing in my veins.  I shivered in response to the chilled soft drinks and juices the trio had poured over me, with anticipation and with just a little fear.  On every surface of the bathroom were bugs; Flies, ants, spiders, centipedes, millipedes, earwigs, beetles, wasps and bees.  With every passing second, more streamed in through the open window and the various openings in the bathroom, moving with surprising speed.  Some crawled in through a gap where the sink drain entered the wall while others emerged from the triangular hole in the ceiling where a section of foam tile had broken off, or from the opened window with peeling paint and cigarette butts squished out in the recesses.  They gathered around me and spread out over every available surface; primitive bundles of signals and responses, waiting for further instruction.

I do like the slow build up to the reveal that she's controlling bugs.

No one (well, no, not no-one, I've seen the claims that Wildbow is a hack but I've never believed they were correct, my other opinions on his character based on his reddit comments notwithstanding) ever said Wildbow was a bad writer.

Its not the most innovative of choices, revealing information the way he is, very tried and true techniques and tactics, but hardly makes them either bad, or tired or not do the job well.

It would be so easy, so easy to just go Carrie on the school.  To give the trio their just desserts and make them regret what they had put me through: the vicious e-mails, the trash they’d upended over my desk, the flute –my mother’s flute– they’d stolen from my locker.  It wasn’t just them either.  Other girls and a small handful of boys had joined in, ‘accidentally’ skipping over me when passing out assignment handouts, adding their own voices to the taunts and the flood of nasty emails, to get the favor and attention of three of the prettier and more popular girls in our grade. I was all too aware that I’d get caught and arrested if I attacked my fellow students.  There were three teams of superheroes and any number of solo heroes in the city.  I didn’t really care.  The thought of my father seeing the aftermath on the news, his disappointment in me, his shame?  That was more daunting, but it still didn’t outweigh the anger and frustration. Except I was better than that.

Yeah, I don't think I'd have Taylor's self-control.

Like, maybe not full Carrie, fear of getting caught might stop me, but using my powers to make them suffer? Absolutely would give in to that temptation, hard.

I was going to be a superhero.  That was the goal I used to calm myself down at moments like these.  It was what I used to make myself get out of bed on a school day.  It was a crazy dream that made things tolerable.  It was something to look forward to, something to work towards.  It made it possible to keep from dwelling on the fact that Emma Barnes, leader of the trio, had once been my best friend.

A powerful chapter ending, but also one that almost feels like it implies Emma will end up being more important, long-term, to the story.

On the other hand, for all that work is 'one work', it's really not. 1.6 Million Words is not one book. It's a whole series.

It's not so simple as each arc being it's own book, conceptually, I'm sure, but equally -

:thinking_face:

[clove-pinks]

'H.M. Steam frigate FIREBRAND and the Experimental Squadron': c. 1844-1845 print (NMM).

Detail, with the sails unsurprisingly furled under full steam. Henry Thomas Dundas Le Vesconte referred to Firebrand as "this monster of a steam ship" in an undated 1844 letter to his sister Rose, when he briefly found himself aboard her before joining HMS Superb, also in the Experimental Squadron. Superb makes his official naval biography in O'Byrne (his last ship before joining HMS Erebus), and I believe this letter in the archives of Newfoundland and Labrador is the only proof he spent some time aboard Firebrand.

"ROSE" is written at top right, and Henry begins

My dear Sister, Mamma scolds me for not writing to all of you.  I hope my dear sisters will not attribute it to want of regard for them but first if I write to Papa I know that the letter will be read by all tho so often am I far removed not only from you but from all our friends that I have little to say which can interest nor in common. I have to thank you for some very kind letters while I was away from England, to which you will find I have returned not much improved in fortune but a good deal older yet I fear not much wiser. I am going again but I do not know exactly where. I have been of course anxious to be employed since my return for they sent me on shore on 4S a day.

He offers to sail "with a squadron of new vessels who were to have their respective qualities tested," and is sent to join Superb, but somehow ends up on Firebrand:

I found myself sent to Plyms. to join the Superb. On arriving there I was sent back to get men for her at Portsmouth and as soon as I got back again I was ordered to Plymouth to join the Firebrand steam ship of the first class. The vessel I had previously wished to go out in - this was done in a mistake Sir Wm. G who is good natured but blundering - having fancied that he had promised this appointment to me. I spent three days at Southampton and at [illegible] I might having remained as long as I dared do I left a childrens party at Mrs. Blanchards, I have heard Mamma speak of her, and came alone cold dispirited and miserable to this monster of a steam ship - where I now am.

(Archives of Newfoundland and Labrador)

[bettsfic]

ooh, that sick thing reblog is making me remember it! i'm surprised there isn't a lot in the sick thing tag like there is your other fics... i remember, vaguely, you saying you weren't the proudest of it (which is totally fine, as writers, we've all been there. tho personally i loved sick thing!) do you mind sharing what was going through your head / your process writing that fic?

okay before i get into that i want to share this anecdote about Marilyn that is VERY related to sick thing.

context: i'm reading an 800 page biography of Marilyn Monroe as research for a story i'm working on, not *about* Marilyn, but. well, it's complicated.

anyway, Joe DiMaggio (the baseball player) was Marilyn's second husband, and he was an asshole to her because his star was falling as hers was rising so there was a lot of resentment. they divorced and she went on to marry (and then divorce) Arthur Miller.

shortly after she divorced Arthur Miller, she was involuntarily institutionalized by her psychiatrist. at this point in her life, everyone she knew had a personal stake in her fame and so she was just constantly manipulated and mistreated. her psychotherapist in particular, Ralph Greenson, destroyed all of her healthy personal relationships and was controlling every aspect of her life. this is about 500 pages into the book. it has taken me a while to get to this point, because it is exhausting reading 500 pages of an innocent person being taken advantage of and horribly mistreated.

allow me to set the scene: Marilyn Monroe is institutionalized in a godawful facility and completely helpless. no one will let her use a phone or have any contact with the outside world. to get somebody's attention she breaks a window with a chair, an idea she got from one of her first roles. a patient eventually sneaks her into an area with a phone. Marilyn calls everyone she knows but no one picks up.

she has no choice but to call ex-husband Joe DiMaggio, whom she hasn't spoken with since the divorce 6 years ago.

Joe immediately calls her psychiatrist and says that if Marilyn isn't discharged within a day he'll "take the hospital apart brick by brick."

and so Marilyn was then discharged and conceded to treatment at a different hospital, which she only entered on the condition that Joe could visit her every day. and he did.

even though they'd divorced on bad terms, he was basically destroyed by their breakup and spent their years apart working on himself and getting therapy so he could eventually ask for her back.

for years Marilyn endured emotional (and physical) abuse by Greenson. i can't emphasize enough that she was just his puppet. if he told her to stop seeing someone, she did. he planted a housekeeper to spy on her. but Marilyn's breaking point, the line Greenson finally crossed, was that he told her to stop seeing Joe. she finally had someone in her life with her best interests at heart, who had no personal stake in her fame or money (and who was in fact one of the few people in the world who had *more* fame and money than she did), and they fell in love again.

this is basically a full-blown Mrs. Kennedy & Me moment where i'm reading an actual real story of the tropes i write in fiction and going a little insane about it.

okay back to the ask!

for sick thing, i was working through a lot of personal fears about my own mental health, having finally gotten off a really bad med that turned me into a, i don't know, like a vacuum of a person. just empty. i wrote it in 8 very intense days, with a 5 bullet point outline scrawled on a piece of scrap paper and Hotel California on repeat.

my main criticism of it is that i resorted to very Stranger Things-y writing moves that feel cheap to me. flat antagonists with no nuance, love interests who don't have their own individual conflict or growth, over the top high school shenanigans like in a 90s teen movie, a glaringly obvious authorial self-insert with a personally cringeworthy level of wish fulfillment. i like to think that in most of the things i write, i'm pretty hard to find? or maybe not, but sick thing is just my id on a platter. was, rather. a lot has changed since then.

sick thing i think was the final work of a long held aesthetic, and dirtbag was the beginning of the era i'm in now, writing stuff far less driven by personal crises and explorations of self. i can't quite put my finger on what exactly is different other than the fact that i write much more slowly now and put more thought into my stories (at the cost of heart, potentially), and i also feel far less compelled to be read. it's been so long since anyone's read new work of mine that posting my bikeriders fic has been a real trip.

[phoneybeatlemania]

Hi Phoney! Love your blog, you're so knowledgable about the boys❤ Id like to ask you if you could recommend some beatles books? There are dozens (hundreds?) of them and i have no idea which ones are worth picking up and which ones are trash. Peace and love✌😎

Hiya anon! Sorry you sent this in February and im only just answering, hopefully it pops up on your dash anyway tho

So Im pretty sure Erin Torkelson Weber said theres upwards of a 1000 books written about the Beatles, which means obviously theres a lot to get through. Honestly, having read quite a few, there are none that are going to be 100% unbiased, 100% truthful and 100% satisfactory for everyone, but heres a few that I think are worthwhile:

1. A Day In The Life: the Music and Artistry of the Beatles by Mark Hertsgaard

Personally I really enjoyed this book when I read it. Its not the most insightful book about them out there, but I think its a solid starting point for anyone new to Beatles-lore, and the way he writes about the music I found to be quite endearing.

2. And In The End by Ken McNab

As someone who is especially interested in the “breakup era”, this book is pretty useful in establishing a timeline of events for 1969. It goes through the year month-by-month, and I remember there being quite a few niche pieces of information in here, that you might not find in most other beatles books.

3. The Beatles Off The Record by Keith Badman

Theres 2 of these books and id recommend getting a copy of both if you can! They’re both effectively a transcription of quotes and interviews from the band, so it isn’t really a book that you’d sit down and read. But it is useful to keep a copy on your shelf, and you can turn to virtually any page and find something interesting to discuss.

4. Beatles ‘66: The Revolutionary Year by Steve Turner

I read this book originally to answer an ask I got about 1966, but I dont think I ever actually got round to answering it in full. Either way, I did learn a lot about them during this year, and similar to McNabs book, because its centred on a specific year it does offer a few pieces of information that might get overlooked in broader biographies.

5. John Lennon: The Life by Phillip Norman

Im going a bit against the grain here, and I know a lot of people would disagree with this recommendation, but I don’t personally believe this book is as bad as a lot of other people might. Norman definitely is someone you want to read critically, but I do also think he’s had the opportunity to speak to many beatle-adjacent people, and there are things we can learn from this biography. The problem I think is that he can be quite heavily biased, and a lot of his sourcing can be questionable. But again, just read it critically to the best of your ability, cause there are imo some relevant pieces of info in here.

[moodycarcass]

Tagged by @dexaroth for lil tag game. of which i am not immune to.

🔺 Favorite Color:

Full saturation red, Lime green, Black, & Steel blue/gray

🔺 Last song played:

Spring is coming with a strawberry in the mouth by Caroline polachek. i also rlly enjoy the song coma by her

🔺Currently reading:

The dead zone by stephen king, i picked it out of my book stash when the power went out from like. 8pm to 2am, very little into it and i misplaced it somewhere but i have liked what i've read so far.

continued below

the last thing i read before it was The Resurrectionist: The Lost Work of Dr. Spencer Black which is a faux biography / speculative biology anatomical artbook i got for christmas or my birthday back in like 2015/2016 and mainly used to just try and copy the illustrations, it was a short read and the story was ok, the concept of a victorian doctor ruining his entire life because he sees a freakshow rogue taxidermy of a satyr and immediately develops an ideology around human beings actually evolving from these mythical creatures and that you can reverse engineer them by sewing animal parts onto people is kinda funny ngl.

🔺Currently craving:

it was chocolate cake n already made some earlier tonight. and now i have absolutely no desire to touch the rest of the entire cake i made bc i dont actually like chocolate that much u_u

🔺 Coffee or tea:

coffee. i drink like 2 cups of it a day just bc i think its tasty. i was however, still raised in the south and am hopeless dependent on iced sweet tea ESPECIALLY if it has shitloads on lemon in it.

🔺 Favorite animal:

Pigs/boars, alligators, domestic cats, hamsters, most ungulates, flamingos, slugs & snails, ect

🔺 Favorite time of day:

early early morning right as the sun rises. i have crippling life long insomnia and the day break has always felt like a release from the tossing and turning and sleep deprivation induced self hatred.

i am still a volatile murderous cunt if im woken up before i choose to get up tho.

🔺 Favorite cloud pattern:

Stratus :)

🔺 Last dumb mistake in a game:

from like early july but i fucked around cleaning the base too long in voices of the void and had to complete my hash code run at night and a fossilhound spawned in front of xray and i straight up ran that damn thing over with the atv because it tanked my frames and got beaten to death before alt + f4ing out of fear

🔺 One cool thing that happened this week:

mm. idk havent had much happen this week. ive made some good as food lately. namely salmon cakes and crab rangoon if that counts

tagging: ??? idk anyone who wants to do this. i think krem is back on here for a minute?? snom and lex also if either of you read this

[catch57]

Notes from this book! I don’t necessarily think it’s a must read (is any dylan bio?) but it gave me some fun images& thoughts. spoilers ⬇️

kind of did not care so much abt this sons life, he should have just posted his dad's cassette tapes and called it a day. goes into how his dad never wanted to reveal stuff abt dylan like this but was strapped for cash, but the son kinda didnt needa do all this. says victor and bob used to joke that whoever died first should make a biography where they totally lie abt everything that the other did

the idea of having a best friend like that, much less bob dylan 😐 says bob liked victor bc he knew how to give him space, didn't take advantage of him, and knew how to riff and learn abt strangers

says greenwich village bob would never sign up for a set, would always just ask the bar owner if he could play after everyone else

bob got rlly mad at victor for meeting his mom/going inside the house after she invited him in & told him it was bobs birthday. reaal.

went to see striking coal miners in kentucky, donated clothes like (communist<3) suzie told him, then kinda left bc they felt they weren't really helping by being there

lowkey almost got crowd crushed aftr the first royal albert hall, made him kind of dazed walking out and he realized life wouldnt b the same anymore. had to seek more to keep his privacy. later says he stopped allowing cameras bc he saw the way ppl acted at a beatles shows, all the flashing.

victor would go exploring and bob would always stay inside and lock himself in a room to write. was really able to sit down and play with words until he finished it. didn't ask others for advice, only sought to see others reaction to what he had written. "bob would always write abt himself" (implies other songs like isis were more of his "fantasies" played out - i think i see this in why he got offended whn ppl not liking billy the kid movie?). songs like this as an escape from himself.

got locked in a restaurant bathroom for more than an hour loll

joan's dad would chastise him over 'the times r changing' bc he thought bob should respect his elders

would get pretty drunk, would get victor to speak for him when he didn't want to

"bob wasn't a sexual guy" went kinda into that bob didn't like women who made advances on him, he liked women who were more passive and would be around whn he wanted, not when he didn't.

talked abt how they were always reinventing their fashion, trying to even outdo the age, would pick out crazy clothes together

says motorcycle accident bob was going like 5mph and just fell over loll.

while sarah and his relationship deteriorating, she got hurt upon hearing idiot wind. (kind of terrifying for him imo to release something so vulnerable but also for her to hear that

dog named brutus. he saw it got hit by a car then be totally ok

got coffee spilled all over him when the tour bus lurched forward, when they were already going to be late to the show

still sleeping at hiltons? loll

kind of ignoring the story abt preforming in israel. kinda gross! Edit: oh also allegations against victor in the 90s that bob got him out of jail for. not much info abt this available ☹️

Show where it was thundering and everyone told him not to but victor kinda encouraged him to play in inches of water. imagine seeing shelter from the storm like that! i think in a soviet-bloc country.

"bob wasn't an activist" i think i agree with this, says even tho he was at a lot of big events and stuff he wasn't really a part of them, more an observer . bailed on david crosby's book

overall i think this just confirmed him as more of an introvert than some people would believe him to be, which is sweet in my eyes & reminds me to take a lot more time for myself & my own interests

[frevandrest]

I’m sorry this is more of an info dump than an ask but the talk about Camille and Sillery (and also him being Danton lite) reminded me of La Belle Pamela which is an old biography about Pamela Fitzgerald/ Lady Edward Fitzgerald I read awhile ago. She was the not officially adopted daughter of Mme. Sillery and also speculated to be secretly actually her and Orléan’s child tho the book disputes this. The book quotes a couple of letters between the Sillerys and Camille including one where he and Lucille are invited to an apology dinner at the Sillerys with Pamela, Robespierre and Péthion (which I assume is Pétion spelled incorrectly) because the Sillerys assumed Camille would be mad that Barére was made guardian of Pamela instead of him. Camille also says some weird things about a Russian dance Pamela (who I believe was 15) does during the dinner. I wonder if this is the “proposition of their daughters”Camille was talking about and also if part of the reason Robespierre was mad at Camille for mentioning being involved with the Orléanists is because at the beginning of the Revolution he was more involved with them than he’d like publicly shared lol (I can’t post screenshots as an anon but the parts of the book I’m talking about start at about page 208 and the biography is free on Google books)

This is a wild ride TM from start to finish, and yeah, I will check it out, but it only made me realize how little I actually know about Camille's shenanigans. I know some stuff, but there seems to be so much mess I don't know about (and this type of mess and gossip is what I love to learn about). So, if anyone wants to share stuff or sources, please do!

[casxmanis]

Hi prob no one asked but I thought of making random headcanons for Ren because hes bby. Beware it do be long tho

Ren Hana

BIOGRAPHY

1. I know he doesn't have an official name in Kanji so Japanese BtD fans would always refer to him by katakana (when you want to pronounce foreign words in Japanese) as レン (Ren). But if he were to have a proper Japanese name with Kanji, it would be 華蓮 (Hana Ren). It means Lotus Flower. <3

2. His mom used to sang "Kawa No Nagare No You Ni" and he still remembers it to this day.

PREFERENCES

1. Thinks anime with lolis in it are fucking cringe (whats wrong with anime industry wtf why is that dragon anime so popular?)

2. His favourite Vocaloid music has to be Drop Pop Candy, and his favourite Vocaloid producer is Jesus-P.

3. His favourite Vocaloid has to be Len and Rin FOR SURE. He just couldn't decide.

4. He has way too many favourite Jpop singers, but that includes REOL, GARNIDELIA, Teddyloid, Kyary Pamyu Pamyu, Kenshi Yonezu, BABYMETAL, POLKADOT STINGRAY and Eve.

5. HATES NETORARE/NTR! So if he were to go on Nhentai and idk do his own business and turns out it was NTR, he would be sad.

6. Didn't even rub one out when he was reading The Metamorphosis by Shindol and was crying his eyes out. (See what I did there? ;) )

7. His favourite anime he could never forget about are Angel Beats, Madoka, and Your Lie in April.

8. He also watches Invader Zim too and has a Gir hoodie. Sometimes the show reminded him of himself and Strade, a bit too much."

EXPERIENCES

1. Ren has went to an anime convention with Strade. Strade being confused with the vibe and Ren just being like the excited kid in a toy store.

2. Besides chicken hearts, I think Omurice is his favourite too <3

3. He always eats rice with his meals, even suggested Strade to buy a rice cooker and well, he did! (Okay I'm literally Asian and rice is the STAPLE in every Asian cuisine NO LIE)

4. Strade once turned on "Japanese Boy" by Andrea Jürgens (It's the GTA Vice City radio song, and I just learnt it was originally sung in German by a German singer. Like Strade thought it sounds harmless because he heard it on the radio as a kid and doesn't mean any harmful intentions to Ren's culture and all.) and Ren lost his sHIT AND IS UTTERLY CONFUSED?? CONFUSED-IRRITATED?"

I'd be happy to correct anything wrong against canon, or that y'all have more fresh ideas <3