#I do not fucking know at this point xD

[princess-self-shipping]

I'm pre-preparing art for the ISATMonth nonsense and working on Siffrin's day and accidentally forgot the n in his name cause I was drawing a heart next to it how's your day going

[front-facing-pokemon]

[ravinoforre]

Michael and Leaf Pokemon but they've suddenly been isekai'd to Sylvarant oops

The template @frayed-symphony, @ciryze and I collectively put together.

...also uh 👉👈

there's this

[peppermint-whiskers]

Wait I just realized something. Alice is part of the God Possessed Pentious AU. However, she’s also a part of your Zestious fic “A Hundred Years and Many More”. Does… does that imply that, at least in your fic, Zestial had a crush on Pentious. Then Pentious died and got possessed by God. If so, I cannot WAIT for that reaction!

“The guy I had a crush on is, not only alive, but is also GOD’S VESSEL!!????!!!” [insert Catholic Guilt here]

Hi, thanks for the ask! "A Hundred Years and Many More" was more of a test run for the backstory, and the backstory (with Alice's glorious presence uwu) is actually part of the au

BUT

I think it'd be hilarious if Zestial and Pentious had this lingering crush on each other the entire time XD Maybe Zestial's was born out of intrigue more than romance, but they both had CRUSHES

And now god's over here like "what's with you and crushing on people who could destroy you??? what the fuck, man???" because he knows. Pentious can't really hide his massive crushes because he can't hide shit XD

[localkiss]

who else just wants actual friends lol. talk everyday, call, play games. whatever. im so sick of being lonely. being the one to always reach out. lmaoo might go write angst rn, not too sure.

[teecupangel]

Okay okay so.

Your thoughts on a Time Travel-ish fic where Desmond gets yeeted back to a little bit before Altaïr’s time and Bayek, Kassandra, Alexios, and f!Eivor become basically immortal bc of POE/Isu bullshit?

And then all the main characters after that become immortal bc of POE/Isu bullshit (including Desmond) so they’re just slowly gathering a bunch of immortal Assassin/some Templars and winging it til they hit the modern day era.

If you like to add a vampire spin to it, here’s the vampire idea a while back that does include a lot of main characters (but not all) getting turned into vampires.

Now, for this idea, let’s set up some things first.

Desmond is the primary immortal and nobody knows how it works.

They stop aging once they die and are revived for the first time.

There will always be a minute of death before their revival. (spawn rate)

Since we want to cover all main AC characters (although I love the fact that we didn’t include Basim in that list. Mirage isn’t out yet, Basim doesn’t count yet, I guess XD), I know you asked for Desmond being yeeted a little before Altaïr’s time so I’m hope you’re fine with Desmond being yeeted before or during Kassandra and Alexios’ time period. (I mean how 'little' is open for interpretations I say)

And how about we make this a little bit more interesting?

Desmond gets yeeted into the time of the Isus. To be more specific, he gets thrown into Minerva’s ‘temple’ during the final days before the Solar Flare.

He’s disoriented and maybe just ‘a bit’ traumatized because of the pain he felt when he activated the device so all he could do was try to understand what Minerva was saying.

About how she’s trying to save his life. That he must do what they all fail to do.

Find the true source of this anomaly, this singularity point that ensures a catastrophe hits Earth every few millennia regardless of what they do.

Because, and this is important, Desmond, even if you save the world from the Solar Flare, another catastrophe will happen. It is inevitable.

But you can find the reason why it has to be that way.

Desmond…

No matter what happens.

Never give up.

Keep looking.

I will do all I can to give you as much help as possible.

Good luck.

And Desmond falls asleep when Minerva pushes him into some kind of device that looked like a water bed.

When he wakes up, he finds himself staring at a confused-looking woman clad in armor.

The Layla Trilogy:

Desmond has no clue what this singularity point is meant to be but he assumes that he’s meant to find it now that he’s woken up… 2 millennia before his time, Jesus Christ.

Kassandra was just looking around the supposed ruins of Athena’s first temple. She believes he’s a demigod or a human turned demigod by Athena. She also thought he might even be Erichthonius but that idea was scrapped when Desmond showed her just how little he knows of the Ancient Greek world. He joins her because it’s not like he has any other clue and Kassandra traveling made it clear that he could cover more grounds if he stayed with her.

It’s because of Desmond’s intervention that Alexios (as Deimos) isn’t killed and the siblings’ relationship is rocky but Alexios stays with them in the Adrestria even if it usually comes down to Kassandra and Desmond making sure Alexios’ temper doesn’t get them into trouble. (Whether the other family members survive is your call).

In the end, it’s the whole Atlantis DLC that makes Kassandra and Alexios accidentally (or is it an accident, Minerva?) immortal. Desmond’s inclusion into the ‘vision’ screwed up the Isu tech and whatever is keeping Desmond immortal is copied into Kassandra and Alexios. They don’t realize it until later on when Alexios dies during a very fierce battle. Then a minute passed while Kassandra cradles her baby brother in her arms as she cries, Alexios opens his eyes and gasps loudly. Kassandra and Desmond would realize they’re immortal as well later on. No matter what they ask, Aletheia in the staff (Desmond doesn’t trust her one bit) doesn’t say anything at all. Desmond believes that their immortality might have been caused by one of the many POEs he had with him at the moment (he’s been hoarding every POE they find).

In this setup, Alexios would be Aya’s ancestor and it’d be more of a one-night stand that happened because Alexios was feeling a bit off that day and wanted some company. Whether they learn Aya is Alexios’ descendant is up to you. They meet Bayek during the Curse of the Pharaoh DLC while they were checking out the ‘curse’ and this is another case of Desmond’s immortality getting passed into Bayek while the POE is shrouding all of Thebes. Maybe even during the time they were in the Duat and Desmond is seeing people who haven’t even been born yet and that’s how he believed his desire to destroy the lies being shown to him caused Bayek to be infected by his immortality. They don’t know Bayek is immortal though but Bayek knows they’re immortal (maybe make one of them die in front of Bayek? They’ve become quite prone to risky actions because they know they can’t die) so when he realized he was immortal, he starts looking for them.

Eivor met them on the Isle of the Skye and Desmond’s immortality infects her during that time as well (maybe during the final confrontation with the POE?) but, as usual, they don’t know that yet. What happens is that Eivor returns to Ravensthorpe and the story continued until the end of AC Valhalla, maybe a few days later, Reda (who may or may not be an avatar of Minerva or her sage or something, the point is his immortality is not connected to Desmond’s… maaayybbee) introduces her to an old friend of his who is looking for someone who looks a lot like Randvi, a man going by the name Amun. At that point, Eivor already knows she’s immortal, Basim slicing her throat during their final confrontation was a dead giveaway, and Reda introduced them as ‘two people of similar circumstances’. They both realized that they’re immortals and Bayek (who Eivor knows as Amun) believes that the answer to their questions is with Desmond and the Spartan siblings (they’re not, they don’t even know they’ve been leaving immortals behind) so Eivor leaves Ravensthorpe to find Desmond and the other with Bayek, promising to come back once she has all the answers.

They finally catch up to Desmond and the others around late 1100s and Desmond doesn’t know how but he’s sure he’s the reason why they’re all immortals now. Without any other information, all they can do is be cautious and, later on, they decide that Desmond shouldn’t get too close to other people until they’re sure on how this entire immortality thing gets activated. Of course, that only means Desmond would feel bored (and maybe have bad reminders of his life on the Farm) so he was just walking a busy marketplace to take some time off his own spiraling thoughts, just looking around and that’s when he bumps into Altaïr.

Desmond’s Ancestors (Part 1):

Desmond didn’t even know Altaïr would be around these parts. Why would he? All he knew during this time was that Altaïr went with Maria to go travel, he didn’t know just how far the two had traveled during that time. Desmond desperately tries to get away because, fuck, there’s no way that he was going to mess up Altaïr’s life even if he desperately wants to because he has no idea what will happen to him if he messes Altaïr’s life so badly that Desmond Miles wouldn’t be born centuries from now. This only makes Altaïr interested in him and it ends with Desmond joining Altaïr and Maria in their travels, sorta forgetting to tell anybody else that he might have been half-kidnapped/half-went along with it?

So the current immortality gang is out looking for him while he’s making a life in Masyaf, becoming like an uncle to Altaïr’s children. Desmond keeps trying to tell Altaïr that Abbas is too dangerous to keep alive but Altaïr won’t listen, thinking that Abbas would not stoop as low as Desmond says, especially when the Apple doesn’t show him anything bad happening with Abbas. By this point, Desmond had told Altaïr everything so Altaïr know Desmond knows of a future but he insists that that future is no longer their future because they have changed things.

Altaïr and Maria still go with Darim to assassinate Genghis Khan but Desmond stays behind to keep an eye on Abbas. Unfortunately, this gets him captured and it’s only because of Desmond’s warning that Malik survived, taking Sef’s wife and children out of Masyaf on Sef’s orders while Sef stays behind to save Desmond. It ends in tragedy as Sef dies in Desmond’s arms instead even though Desmond begs for whatever is keeping him immortal to save Sef, to make him immortal as well. Desmond is taken deeper into Masyaf and tested on to find the reason for his immortality instead.

Altaïr’s return is heralded by a civil war between those who sided with Abbas and the Assassins Malik rallied. In the battle, Maria dies in Altaïr’s arms as well and, if you really want to hammer in the pain, Malik falls as well. When they finally took Masyaf back, Altaïr finds Desmond in the deepest part of Masyaf alive but… well… it’s not a pretty sight. Just as he frees a catatonic Desmond, Abbas stabs him from behind and Desmond snaps out of it, screaming as Altaïr falls into his arms. Remembering how Sef dies in his arms the same way breaks Desmond. Altaïr dies in his arms and revives a minute later, much to Abbas’ surprise. In the end, Altaïr kills Abbas and takes Masyaf back.

After the funerals are done and Masyaf starts healing, Altaïr tells the new mentor (Malik if he’s still alive or Darim if Malik is already dead) that he and Desmond are leaving Masyaf. That this place is simply too painful for Desmond right now and the only way he can heal is to be away from this place. The mentor agrees because they both know how much Desmond blames himself for the death of the people he and Altaïr loved. That not even Altaïr telling him it’s not his fault could reach him.

So they leave and a few days later the immortality gang reaches Masyaf but everyone is tight-lipped about what happened and if they know anyone that looks like Desmond (there were rumors that the people of Masyaf were experimenting on how to achieve eternal life and such). So it took them a long time for the mentor to confide what had happened (that’s fine with them though because they trust Desmond can take care of himself (oh boy) and they’re immortals, they have all the time they need) and the mentor isn’t sure where Desmond and Altaïr could be.

They’re in Monteriggioni. Of course, they’re in Monteriggioni. Desmond talked and showed Monteriggioni to Altaïr and his sons so Altaïr knew how much Desmond loved the town. They stayed there because Altaïr was hoping Desmond could heal there and Altaïr accidentally sorta-maybe bought the place while it was just a little thing and started expanding and stuff. They’re always known as descendants of themselves and they’re rumored to be brothers or cousins or something, anyway, the point is the town’s connection with the Assassins is a very hush-hush affair and the Italian Brotherhood grows with Altaïr’s assistance while Desmond just… does whatever he wants.

Desmond meets Ezio as a child when the Auditore family visits the town to pay their respect and Altaïr sees how happy Desmond is to play with Ezio and his siblings. He suggests that they vacation in Florence once in a while to visit the Auditores and Desmond agrees.

The Auditore execution doesn’t happen because Altaïr’s presence makes the Italian Brotherhood be more incognito. Giovanni is still loyal to Lorenzo (an ongoing headache of Altaïr’s) and he’s the mentor of the Italian Brotherhood while Altaïr has more of an advisory role but his connection to the other Assassins was great enough that he was able to coordinate a rescue mission when Giovanni was arrested. Federico and Claudia (who learned enough to fight in secret thanks to her Tio Desmond) were in the house and they got the others out while Giovanni stayed behind so he was the only one arrested and the Auditore family is given asylum in Monteriggioni.

Of course, the whole rescue plan had been in the making for a while now as a ‘last resort’ since Desmond told Altaïr what would happen and this pushes Ezio, Federico, and Claudia to join the Brotherhood in hopes of avenging what has happened to them.

Same thing happened as canon. The actions of the Italian Brotherhood (really, Ezio and his siblings) catch the attention of the immortality gang who finally catches up but they accidentally thought Ezio was the immortal with Desmond named Altaïr and that’s how Ezio learns about the whole immortality thing.

Ezio finds out he’s immortal after Rodrigo stabs him and he dies but revives. He believes his other siblings aren’t immortal though because he saw Minerva’s message for Desmond and it’s already changed. She’s speaking to Ezio and she tells him to “keep Desmond in check”. To make sure he remembers his mission. Ezio believes it’s not Desmond who gives immortality to random people but Minerva. That this immortality thing is something Minerva prepared to keep Desmond ‘safe’ and ‘focused’.

Desmond would have easily said that Minerva is going by a list of people Desmond cared about but he didn’t even know about Kassandra, Alexios, Bayek and Eivor before his death so that idea gets thrown out before it even fully forms.

Anyway, it ends with the immortality gang going on a newly refitted and upgraded Adrestia to start looking for this singularity point with Altaïr giving Monteriggioni to Petruccio who had been taking care of the finances and the little details for a while now. They stop by Constantinople as well and Ezio falls in love with Sofia, maybe he stays with her for a while and have two children? Idk. Anyway, the Auditore line continues…

Into the Kenway line…

Yeah, see that part one? Yeah, it’s because this got too long and I only answer/reblog on tumblr on a specific time frame to make sure I get things done. Sorry XD

I’ll get back to the others tomorrow (if work wills it) but if anyone wants to take a stab at this, feel free :)

(ngl, I was debating if I should make Malik/Maria/Darim and Sef immortal. I’m still on the fence with Malik being immortal. It would be a good angst fodder “Why you but not them?!!” kind of deal)

[victorluvsalice]

💬I'm curious about the New Severance fic (mainly because I don't think I've heard of that series) and the BITD Smiler BABS fic (Because...self indulgence)

*cracks knuckles* Okay, so, let's take these in order:

The Severance AU: Severance is a show on Apple TV from 2022 (though season 2 is coming out in 2025) about a bunch of workers for the Lumon Corporation who have undergone the titular procedure to "sever" their work and home selves (involves getting a computer chip inserted in your brain). Basically, an employee who gets severed has a home self (Outie) that doesn't remember anything about what they do at work, and a work self (Innie) that doesn't remember anything about their outside home life (like, they know basic stuff, but their personal lives are a complete blank). The Innies are in fact basically trapped on the basement floor they work on because the elevator that you use to access the floor also turns the chips on and off. So from their perspective, they get into the elevator at the end of the day -- and then immediately get out again and go back to work. The show follows the people in the "Macrodata Refinement" department (they sort numbers based on vibes, essentially) and their Innie and Outie selves as the Innies are shook up by new hire Helly R. and her desperate attempts to escape and the appearance of an outside self-help book on the Severed Floor, and the Outies (specifically Mark Scout) start to learn that Lumon is, uh, fucked up. Honestly, given how fucking weird the whole thing sounds (I haven't even gotten into the whole part where Lumon basically operates like a cult, or the Break Room -- which is not the room where you take a break...), I think the series might be your jam -- here's the Wikipedia page should you care to learn more.

ANYWAY -- I haven't actually SEEN the TV series, but I DID recently read "Welcome to the Panopticon," a BTTF/Severance fusion fic by @penny-anna that covers most of the relevant worldbuilding for the TV show while putting BTTF characters into their own version of the mess. I found the fic fascinating and inspiring, especially with all the Innie/Outie stuff, and my brain immediately decided two things:

One, I would love to do a Valicer AU with this fucked-up premise

Two, this kind of corporate malfeasance feels VERY Aperture Science.

Cue the mental creation of a currently-unnamed AU where Victor, Alice, and Smiler are severed workers working for the Macrodata Refinement department of Aperture Science! Victor's there because he was severely depressed after the death of his fiancee Victoria and their mutual friend Emily during a robbery and his parents talked him into it; Alice is there because she murdered Dr. Bumby, got caught (though she did at least expose him in the process), and was pushed into the program as a "rehabilitation effort" to make her a "productive citizen;" and Smiler -- well, Smiler was simply forced to have the procedure by their asshole father Dr. Kelman, who wanted them to do it as a PR move and to try and force them to bend to HIS wishes about their life. The idea would follow mainly the Innie versions of everyone as Smiler joins the team and makes it their job to try and keep them all from going insane down in that basement, with the trio gradually falling in love as they get to know each other (well, as much as they can when they're all amnesiac on the floor) and having adventures dealing with their weird-ass circumstances, their personality core supervisor Wheatley, and their unsevered boss Miss Glados (aka Caroline, one of the big movers and shakers of Aperture) --

And THEN managing to escape because of an incident involving the Overtime Contingency (which allows the Innies to wake up outside of the Severed Floor if the bosses really need them to for some reason), which allows them to wreck a party their Outies were attending with the real facts about Innie life -- and then the Outies get to see the Severed Floor, go "holy shit this is fucked up" and manage to escape when Chell shows up to cause chaos in the name of rescuing her old friend Wheatley... I mean, there's a LOT more detail in my head about what happens in this Hypothetical Fic Eating My Brain, but I want to actually get to the OTHER half of your question, so let's call it there for now. XD

BITD Smiler in BABS Verse: Okay, you've probably guessed that this relates back to when I asked you about VITD Smiler ending up in the "Beneath A Broken Sky" world and what you thought might happen with them and the cast. This version is a little different, as it involves a Smiler from a Blades In The Dark world that doesn't actually have a Victor or Alice in it, because I wanted to see how they'd react to the Victor and Alice who got sucked in without having any of their own. I haven't got like a FULL idea of how it would go yet, but I do have a few key items in place:

-->Smiler would end up in the BABS verse because, in this version of Duskwall, the moon is slowly but surely beginning to fall on the Shattered Isles and will eventually destroy everything, and Mar-Mal is trying to find a way to save their Advocates -- I'm thinking they manipulate a Special Tree to shoot Smiler to the BABS verse to "scout it out," so to speak

-->I picture the "local" Victor and Alice wanting to support their fellow dimensional refugee and checking in on them as they're getting settled -- and being perhaps a little concerned by how almost unnaturally cheerful Smiler is

-->I think it would be funny for Daniel to want to cast that spell that provides all the modern contemporary knowledge on Smiler, only for Victor and Alice to leap in and be like "don't, do you not remember all the vomiting when you did that to us" -- only for Mar-Mal, using their limited influence in the new universe through their connection to Smiler, to find the spell, go "oh, that looks useful," and cast it on Smiler anyway XD (though I'm picturing them managing to spare Smiler the vomiting -- not the fainting though, they still go down for the count)

-->I really have to wonder how Gef would react to Smiler -- I imagine it would be quite the thing XD

-->I imagine that Victor has some nasty nightmares after his experience with The Bleeding Eye (like, there's no actual contact by the creature again, Daniel's made sure of that, but Victor keeps having bad dreams about the "room" and the Thing in it -- can you blame him?), and Smiler eventually offers to help with their hypnosis skills -- Alice is immediately like "I want to observe to make sure this is on the up-and-up" and Smiler's like "Sure!" Cue Smiler helping Victor out, Alice being like "...wtf I didn't know that could be used for good," and the three getting closer as a result, with of course eventual romance

-->I want Smiler to go to OmegaMart, see the employees, and want to cheer them up -- mostly I want them to offer one a hug and the employee to be like ??? Smiler wants to improve happiness in this place damn it

-->Potential endgame is them finding a way to get Smiler back to their world, with Victor and Alice tagging along for a visit...only to discover the whole "moon falling on the world" thing and realize that Mar-Mal's plan is actually to evacuate the Advocates (and whoever else wants to come with) to the BABS world before everything, you know, gets smashed. Cue panicked race to get people through whatever gateway they got open before the end

Basically, it's just me going "I want that version of Smiler to cause Even More Shenanigans in that world" right now. XD

[eoinmcgonigal]

Cool. Now do Tommy.

Oho nicely played.

How to Judge such a deeply cherished and adored character??

He's so unassuming. He's just some guy. UGH okay this isn't fair because he FEELS right. Literally. There is very little Brain Activity gone into this. I should probably be judging myself for liking him. What does he bring to the world, apart from being gorgeous and sweet sincerity?? He's loyal. He tries. Even if he fails. There's a vulnerable edge to him that makes me want to hug him SO MUCH and put him into Better Situations. Would he thrive? God I hope so. Sincere guy. Needs to find the confidence to stand on his own two feet. He is competent! He is skilled! But also easily led...

...not a very good judgement is it? But I love him, your honour.

Looks: 14/10 the worse he gets the more I need to hug him Confidence Issues when Someone is Watching: 1000/10 Ability to Do Stuff When No One is Watching: 10/10 Marks for effort: 1000/10 Other: +81 for gorgeous hair Total: perfect/10

This guy might not be your guy, but you need a guy like this guy. You want to meet him? Watch The Terror (2018). You'll notice him by the end!

Sorry George but why do we like him? I think he's a guy for SUCCers (members of the Society of Underappreciated Characters' Champions) with big hearts and an unfailing love of the potential in each person, no matter how underwhelming they first seem to be.

...I think we should look at him again.

[camellcat]

I keep writing these very short rosesimm ficlets cause I can't stop thinking about them, which makes me want to check the tag on ao3 cause, y'know, I'M writing so SURELY if I KEEP CLICKING then it'll update, but alas. the tag doesn't change and I'm just stuck with my own shitty writing to keep me fed </3

[magpieinthemorning]

(I left out the stupid joke)

[weirdnerdygoat]

my girlfriend officially knows my tumblr now, so she'll know about my alterhumanity very soon XD

If you're reading this like 1) you're really amazing 2) if you have any questions about stuff feel free to ask me! It'll be nice to have someone irl know

Like this is as good a way to tell you as any, i identify as a ✨feral goat✨ and it's very complicated:3 most of my goat stuff is on my alterhuman blog, which is linked in my introduction thingy and liiiike yeah feel free to ask any questions XD

[originalgenshinscenarios]

Wdym it's the 20th???

[jimingyue]

Cat Tumblr Dashboard Simulator

🖋️ meowful-musings Follow

🕊️ birdwatching Follow

what's wrong with dry food??? my humans feed me it all the time and i think it's fine

💀 elusivehider-deactivated948204

op wheres the natural feeding option

🌲 outdoorsy Follow

you guys are getting fed?

#im a barn cat so maybe im missing something here #meowtthew don't look

7,192 notes

☀️ pawsitive-affurmations Follow

ITS OKAY TO BE A MOGGIE

ITS OKAY TO BE A MOGGIE

YOU ARE NOT LESS VALID IF YOU ARE NOT A SPECIFIC PEDIGREE!!!!!

☀️ pawsitive-affurmations Follow

extra special shout out to cats who have "common" coat colors. grey tabbies and black cats i am rubbing against your head affectionately <3

🪤 m0usetrap01 Follow

as a grey tabby i really needed to hear this :"3

#i feel like i never see positivity posts for moggies even tho we're the most common type of cat....

154,688 notes

🎵 rage-against-the-meowchine Follow

i cant believe there are cats ACTUALLY advocating for kittens to be separated from their mothers before 12 weeks??? kittens still need to learn how to interact with other cats before being placed into their furever home omg you guys know you're advocating for undersocialized and aggressive cats right

❤️ loving-paws284 Follow

um op some of us??? matured early??????? i was separated from my mother at 7 weeks and i turned out fine... interesting how you assume that kittens being separated from their mothers at a younger age will lead to the degeneracy of the next generation...hmm i wonder where i've heard that before...

🐈 fluffy-the-cat Follow

OP got bit too hard during a play-fight as a kitten and it shows XD

🐟 tunafeesh Follow

also op have you ever considered that just because somecat is kind of scared and unable to deal with strange cats or humans, it doesn't mean they don't deserve to be adopted?? you sound like a vet psyop honestly

🎵 rage-against-the-meowchine Follow

oh meow god saying that kittens should be fully weaned before leaving their mother is NOT veterinarian rhetoric and i never said that they deserve to be euthanized!!! my mother literally died when i was 3 weeks old and it seriously messed up my development so stop putting words in my mouth, thanks

anyway friendly reminder that underweaned kittens are prone to illness and often struggle with basic cat behaviors like litterbox usage, and in some nyavinces it's even considered kitten abuse

#discourse #cant believe "kitten abuse is bad" is controversial now

32,456 notes

🍃 naturalliving Follow

BORN TO DIE

WORLD IS A FUCK

猫神 Kill Em All 1989

I am trash cat

410,757,864,530 DEAD BIRDS

#outdoorliving #outdoorcats please interact #outdoorcat friendly

48,971 notes

🎣 salmonpurina Follow

can't believe cats are uncritically reblogging that born to die world is a fuck post. i know it's funny but op is literally an outdoor cat truther

#like cmon now you just have to go to their blog #lulu speaks

34 notes

💀 tabbystripes-deactivated098712

gentle reminder that pushing cups off the table is not cute and can cause a lot of distress in your human!!!! gentle reminder that our teeth and claws can easily hurt them more than they can hurt us!!!!

🐰 evil-tabbystripes Follow

evil reminder that the cup should always be pushed off the table. evil reminder that you should always bite and claw at your human no matter what. you can do whatever you want forever

💀 tabbystripes-deactivated098712

make your own pawst

💀 laser-point-deactivated8574721

umm i know a tomcat who did that and his human ended up putting him down so...

👬🏻 nyasunaruenjoyer Follow

Nyaverage shelter cat behavior

#not nyaruto #re-nyab #pickles shut up

545,460 notes

🌈 nyaoi-warrior Follow

saw two male cats sleeping together on the porch today. homeow behavior imo

💡 discourse-meows Follow

hey um what the fuck??? it's really not okay of you to go assuming other cat's sexualities, especially cats you don't even know???? as a queer cat i'm VERYY uncomfortable. real-ass cats didn't consent to your nyaoi fetish, thanks

🌈 nyaoi-warrior Follow

1. i was making. a joak

2. i'm literally gay???

#literally what's your pawblem

7 notes

🎩 amazingcatshow12 Follow

reblog if you've ever caught the laser pointer

🎩 amazingcatshow12 Follow

i know you fuckers are lying

🍭 gaykittens Follow

this tom hasn't caught the laser pointer

🎩 amazingcatshow12 Follow

shut the heull up

988,653 notes

🐾 b-e-a-n-t-o-e-s Follow

grey toebeans >>>>>>>>> pink toebeans and don't let the haters make you believe otherwise

🐁 ladymouser Follow

op shut the fuck up ALL toebeans are beautiful!!! just bc you're miserable and insecure doesn't mean you can bring others down based on things they can't control

🐾 b-e-a-n-t-o-e-s Follow

oh so the cat-human separationist wants to preach to us

[kuiinncedes]

ahhhhh

[harmoonix]

Evening Astrology💜

✨️If everyone feels fucked up these days, an eclipse is coming very soon and at this point eclipses are more annoying than Mercury Retrogade. So things will go crazy ✨️ xd

Mercury in the 12th house natives can understand things that others don't, and that makes them more authentic

Mercury in Libra or Cancer can really understand how it feels to be the neddy of a person and, at the same time, trying to understand how relationships work

Because Venus is the most lustful planet, Venus in the 5th/7th/12th houses tend to really expose their desires pretty early in a relationship

Lacking earth placements in a chart can be an indicator for lacking stability, in all topics. I know how it is so bad, my only earth placement in my chart is my Capricorn Sun..Because planets are rarely in earth signs during January, so yeah, it makes sense 😭😭

Let's also talk about how Aquarius Risings can't do a proper 7th house persona chart since their 7th house is ruled by the Sun, which does not have its own persona chart. But it's fine because persona charts are something only pop astrologers use, we are safe from that shit

Have you guys seen that every time you have planets in transit with your 6th house, you tend to get sick or feel unwell? Especially if Mars transits your 6th house

Venus in the 10th house also Scorpio/Taurus/Libra in the 10th house tend to be sexualized a lot..at work, in the public...by strangers

Gemini Moons/Venus,are so good to hang out with like they have that type of good humor but also that chill in them. Appreciation to them

Mars is so harsh - talking in Gemini, since Mars is a violent planet and Gemini rules over the talking and communication can really create natives with more anger in their talk and may have a tendency to scream a lot same to Mars in the 3rd house

Sun/Moon/Rising in Taurus can be prone to be good financially , but if they are harsh - aspecting, they can get greedy about money

Sometimes, Sagittarius Placements will know the truth about a situation and will hide it from you until you see it with your own eyes. Well, unless Sagittarius Mars shows up

Lilith in your 10th house or Capricorn can have lots of family trauma especially with the father, I know some of them that have even been bullied or judged by their fathers

Cancer/Moon in the 7th house placements are so good if you are into those more sensible/soft/romantic/quiet partners applying to both genders

Gemini and Sagittarius will make their presence known in a group by talking the loudest 😭 especially screaming in your face!! I did hear youuuu

Mercury in Air signs, in my opinion, type messages so fast. Like you send them a message, they reply the next second.. I love faster replies too

Aquarius Venus,in a way like to maintain their relationship healthy/good because they don't really have time for all the drama

Venus in the 6th house can give a busy partner/overworking, you can feel like you spend less time together because of the work you do

Mercury trine/sextile/conjuct Sun opens the creative side of the native more easily when in square or opposite gives a stressful time for the native to find their creative side

You may not get along with people who have their LIlith sign in the same house as your SUN (Tested this for me is 100% true) Makes you total enemies, fighting to death

In a trio of friendship won't work if someone between you 3 has bad aspects to their 11th house ruler can be an indictor that may feel out of that friendship

Jupiter in the 1st house makes you to improve your knowledge over things, makes you wiser with the age, spiritual, empath (really depends on the Jupiter sign)

Sabrina Carpenter has a Libra mars, a good indicator that she can be really impatient with her lovers and relationships, she may also try to be the dominant one but may fail to do that

Neptune/Chiron/Saturn in the 1st house natives can often have skin issues, allergies, maybe even different skin conditions, sensitive skin placements

Mercury in the Aries/Sagittarius/Virgo/Scorpio/Capricorn tend to talk dirty a lot, especially if Mercury sits in their 3rd/7th or 11th houses of communication

North Node in your 1st house is such a self - discovery placement. You really need to discover who you really are. Without falling for what others say or think about you

Pluto in the 1st house natives these natives may often struggle with the control, even with taking control in their lives sometimes

Pluto in the 11th house, talks about really intense relationships with people within your friends group or whenever you meet someone. You just feel intense

I don't like how people talk about Sagittarius Venus, I heard people saying that is a bad Venus sign?? Well, it is ruled by Jupiter, so i do not consider this Venus specifically being bad, just like Pisces Venus.

Something very funny about Virgo Venus is that they won't show that they're in love unless the other person shows that. Is like they wait for the other person to say 'I love you' first

Mercury in the 6th/11th houses can be good activists/using their voice to help others, this like a collective helping placement

If you have your ascendant ruler in the sign of Pisces, you really tend to be an empath. This lover energy surrounding you

Harsh aspects between Lilith and Moon or Venus can indicate that the native may struggle to feel compassion/feelings/emotions sometimes

Sun in the 8th house can talk about knowing other's people secrets/privately knowing something good or bad about a specific person

Having North Node in the 3rd house can talk about having the power to adapt and change, and mental growth is important for them

Sagittarius Risings can sometimes be lucky without even realizing that. As a sign of them not paying attention to their luck

Ascendant square Venus can have a hard time to love themselves, which is totally fine because self-love should be learned step by step, not overnight

Having Neptune close to your Sun or Ascendant can make you to ignore your beauty/to make illsuions about it, soemtimes to create a dislike feeling. Everyone is beautiful in their own ways x Neptune is messing up with the mind sometimes

Having little to no aspects to your Midheaven can indicate struggling to find a career or a good job for you. Being indecisive about it.

🤎🍂 Hope you all have a beautiful evening x🤎

~Harmoonix 🤎🤎🤎

[slashingdisneypasta]

Beetlejuice x AFAB!Reader || Drabble+Smut

Plot: You bet him he couldn't leave you alone (stop harassing you) for even one day, not realising that he would take winning s o seriously, but he's a stubborn old fuck so now its been weeks, and he still wont give in. And well... now you kinda miss him. Ironic, huh?

Warnings: Smut. Reader is DOWN BAD, FED UP AND WANTS THAT PERVERT DICK. A little daddy kink, panty stealing, creampie (WRAP IT BEFORE YA TAP IT. Especially with this guy 😅 We dunno what he has 😅), at points its even kinda f l u f f y?? I tried to connect with different facets of Beetlejuice 😅🤣 XD Unedited.

"Stay fucken still." That raspy voice sounding a hundred shades of pissed o f f creeping directly in your ear, as well as the boner you're sitting on, do absolutely the opposite to what he wants. They do not deescalate anything- in fact, you just feel even more turned on. Jesus christ, who knew it would only take 2 weeks no-contact for you to find him attractive.

But-- b o y, do you see it now.

Yeah he's mucky, but thats part of it?? The harsh mossy stubble and forearm hair (When he rolls up his sleeves), the deep greasy racoon bags around his dark beady eyes, the crazy hair that will not be tamed, everything. You know its kind of fucked up, but you have never wanted someone so bad. And if it weren't for that stupid bet 2 weeks ago-- you would have him! Goddamnit. You and your big mouth.

"Come on BJ," You urge softly, using the tip of your finger to guide his face towards you even as every muscle in his face fights to stay strong and remain stern- and most importantly, avoid looking at you. "Look at me." The ghost with the most hadn't looked at you since he accepted the bet, afraid of seeing you and immediately losing. Immediately being unable to keep his nasty eyes- hands- mouth, off of you.

He's been so strong. So boneheaded-ly strong.

Meanwhile you've been going crazy thinking about him stuffing you with his cock and then keeping your dirty underwear after.

Now sat atop his lap, face-forward, you intend to get him to look at you again and break his resolve. If it is the last thing you do tonight. Or for the week.

"I am lookin' at you." His face barely moves; the words coming out forced and humourless. No tone at all. But you can feel his cock painfully hard stretching the seam on his pants, and your underwear. Probably an embarrassing wet spot, too. "Whadaya mean."

You're so close he can surely feel your warm breath on his face. Giving his nose a cute little brush with your own, you feel his dick twitch in his black and white striped pants and a slow grin worms it way onto your lips. "No you're not... come on. Please, BJ?" With round eyes, you pout a little. "I miss you."

With that, he gives a frustrated and animated groan, and finally looks down from just past your head- to your eyes, causing a delighted smile to slip across your face. "Come on now baby- thats not fair at all. Come on."

You throw your arms around his neck as a familiarly slimy, hot, sex-crazed grin spreads across his grimy mouth. That wild look that apparently you love appearing in his eyes again, looking down at you- all over. Licking over your pretty willing body with just a look. "You didn't give me a choice!!"

"Hey, hey, hey- you bet me, sugar- "

"Hey. You gonna take your chance and fuck me, or not?"

He shrugs. "Well when you're right, you're right." Then he kisses you open-mouthed and all-tongue and just how you imagined he would kiss, and swallows any giggle you were going to give. Along with all your thoughts.

~

Neither of you can bring yourselves to perform any foreplay- even though you want to. Want to enjoy this; grind in his lap a while longer, feel his tongue in your cunt, tease him with your lips warm and tongue damp over the top of his pants- But you're more then wet enough already, the fabric of your underwear sticks to your pussy lips, and his obviously rock-hard boner fights to tear a hole in its confines. You'll have time for all that fun stuff later, anyway.

You barely have time to properly taste each other's tongues for the first time before his greedy fingers are digging under your skirt, underneath your underwear, and slipping easily right into you. Too easily, shit. He gives a filthy groan, getting 3 of his fingers good and drenched in your slick; feeling your pretty cunt squeeze 'em. "Fuck, honey, I think this is the best pussy I ever had."

Breathless, you give a giggle; forehead pressed into his shoulder at just the feeling of his fingers invading you; hips juttering slightly into is hand. "You haven't even had me yet."

"Lets fix that, then, shall we? Now."

Your fingers go down to the button on his pants and eagerly, with deft fingers, undo it. He's not wearing underpants, predictably, so you just have to reach in and carefully finagle his fat cock free. Then you swipe a finger over the insanely leaky tip for fun and watch his head fall back against the wall, listening to the wildly horny, gutteral groan come out of him at the feeling.

He clicks his fingers and your underwear disappears. You see it reappear in his hand a last time, just before he shoves it in his jacket pocket; flashing you a cheesy grin. "Souvenir."

When finally, finally you sink down on his gross cock you both let out sighs of utter satisfaction. 2 weeks was a hell of an edge.

You're almost happy to just sit there with him stretching you open, milking him with your pussy, but when he shifts his hips, just getting more comfortable and laying his hands on your hips, the movement sparks a change of mind. "BJ... " You wrap your legs more securely around him, around the back of the chair he's sat in, and lift your hands to grip the lapels on his jacket. Your eyes meet his very dark, lusty ones. Just watching you; a little scary and a little smug and a little pussy drunk. "... fuck me."

"P l e a s e?"

"Please, daddy."

His eyes roll into the back of his head and dramatically huffs, making you giggle. "Oh fuck, baby, you really know howta murder a guy." With all his strength, he pulls himself back together; straightening up again. "Alright, alright- hold on, daddy's gonna take you on a ride."

You open your mouth to respond, but before you can even make noise, you blink and you're in another position entirely. Off the chair now, you find yourself pressed against a nearby wall, your legs still wrapped around him and his cock still throbbing inside you.

While you're feeling dizzy from teleporting, Beetlejuice pulls almost all the way out of your messy cunt and thrusts all the way back in- hard. He does it again. Then the pace picks up and he's pounding you into the wall at an inhuman pace that has you hiding your face in his shoulder again and knotting your fingers tight in his greasy hair.

Your orgasm builds up at a record pace, due to all the build up. It would be embarrassing, if he wasn't fighting not to paint your insides already himself. "I gotta- I gotta be honest, sweetie, I- I don't think daddy's gonna last long in this cat. Not this time. The way you're suckin me in- Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh fuck. Pullin' my hair- Damn, shit, Fuck!- " Finally, BJ mashes his groin against yours and holds himself there; cumming hard inside you.

That causes your orgasm, rolling your hips against him and riding it out, making him shudder out a sigh. A vulgar dopey grin flickers across his jawline and black teeth.

... After a few minutes of heavy breathing- you catching your breath, and him just 'livin in it', enjoying the feel of breather meat for a while longer, you finally pull yourself together and raise your head carefully off his chest. "Um... " Suddenly you feel awkward. But not uncomfortable. You give a small, tired smile. "I don't know what to say?"

"... " He ducks down and presses his forehead to yours, and you're fooled for just a moment that this might be a sweet moment. "Uh. How about 'you win the bet, handsome?'."

Quickly you swat him, laughing. "Oh- Never!"