#I do in fact feel strongly about this

[teratomatica]

you always land on all fours

[altarfates]

I want to preface this by saying that I am holding myself accountable for not stepping up and either breaking off the friendship sooner or defending myself properly. As it stands even now I am not someone who copes well with confrontation and would rather stay as far away from it as possible. I’m speaking now because other people are coming forward with their stories and experiences. Whilst I have very few actual screenshots of conversations please understand that the interactions I’m discussing impacted me quite a lot mentally. It’s up to you to decide if you think I’m overreacting but by the end of those six months I had basically decided I no longer had a place in the rpc where I was welcomed after losing that friendship. I’ll be putting this under a read more so look at your own discretion. I won’t be speaking about this again after this.

If terios / ty sees this and decides they wish to unblock me and speak about it in order to see these feelings discussed and resolved im okay with that and if anyone else who has been in a similar situation needs someone to talk to or discuss it with in also open to that.

At the beginning of our friendship things were pretty intense and feeling like you were the main writing partner for someone who had already established themselves a place in the rpc was such a good feeling ? It’s like you really belong and you have someone who is so invested in your portrayal that you feel really important. There were many times where this once good feeling became tarnished by negativity, bitterness and what to me, felt like being bullied or belittled.

I’ll touch on a few things I really do remember quite clearly and be understanding that my adhd / ptsd and other things impact my capacity to retain information all the time I try to be very clear with this when talking with mutuals to avoid them becoming frustrated when I don’t remember everything all the time. they would tell me I wasn’t listening or paying attention when I tried to explain this.

there was a lot of time monopolising that I ended up enabling, this one in particular was mentioned to me by my partner who ended up feeling like I really distanced myself from them and even when I did want / try to spend time with them terios’ reaction would always be to change their tone to speaking bitterly or giving off this change of energy and if you recognise it you know it’s the sort where you’ve done something wrong and you need to fix it immediately.

There were also times where other friends became an issue, terios had problems with someone I was interacting with on dash. At the time I wanted to be in their corner because we were really close, they were my closest friend but these people had also been nothing but nice to me and I didn’t have issues with them. This tension went on for a while until terios let me know that I was two faced for not taking their side fully and I ended up blocking them which I thought was the right answer to appeasing someone who was upset. Yes, this was my fault I should have said no but they were a really important friend to me and I wanted them to feel like they were heard and understood. In the end I lost both of those friends and another friend who told me that if I continued to always take terios’ side in arguments like that I would have no one else left but them in the end.

It also happened when I mentioned that I was watching things with my mutual, we had only just started writing again after not speaking for a long time and terios was instantly making comments about it, usually vague and never good and when I finally said hey you know this isn’t cool to be saying this their response was just that I should have told them that sooner.

They were always unpleasant about Gepard ships that weren’t ours and I don’t know if that was because they just had a bias or not but I remember plotting an almost au verse with a firefly writer and dropping it because they were telling me when and how would that happen why is this something you’re writing ? basically implying that I owed it to some how justify what I was deciding to write for my muse ?

This also happened when I was creating an au for Gepard around being a vampire hunter I was so excited about it and I wanted to tell them and their response was to pick it apart reminding me oh this doesn’t make sense for Gepard’s canon age or this doesn’t make sense for his family and whilst I get caring about canon it really made me feel ? like my spark had just been squashed something I was so excited about just being torn to shreds completely and I never spoke about it again, tobias was there when this happened I had just came home from the gym in tears because I was so upset about it.

As those who interact with me know I am someone who is always earnestly trying to expand my vocabulary and learn new ways to incorporate cool stuff into my writing and there was one time one time when I used a word wrong and I did apologize for it and they ended up bringing it up over and over again for three months and whilst it was a joke in their eyes I don’t doubt it really just made me not want to try to improve my writing anymore and minimised myself to be someone they would approve of.

it also felt like anytime I began to get the confidence to bring up how I was feeling that it was turned around to make me feel worse or shit and like the whole situation was my fault rather than looking at it and both taking accountability and working to find a solution. I found this so challenging because so many times I left feeling like I was truly in the wrong because they had told me I was.

SC:

The last thing I will mention is that they will jump between gepard writers quite frequently. I wasn’t on the receiving end of this but I do know that when they blocked me only a day later then were dming a mutual and friend of mine who they had all but ghosted for those six months asking to write again. While this isn’t the worst thing ever I can only imagine how shitty that must feel and I know when they spoke to me and I said this it really hit home for them that they had been second best for those whole six months despite being there before me. This has happened with other Gepard writers too not just me and that person.

In the end a lot of this shit could have been amended if I told them your behaviour is shitty and it’s making me feel like shit but who wants to be put in a situation with a friend or writing partner where they feel like they have to make that choice.

I still do think terios is a good writer and they’re committed to the sampo they’re shaping but there are ways to interact with people that are kinder and not always with this undertone of being nasty or mean or spiteful. Again, if they or anyone else does want to talk to me about this they can and I trust that everyone can decide who they want to write with themselves. I just want my feelings and story to be heard and others to know they can speak up too.

[anendtopursuit]

the tl;dr of my opinion on ace viktor, as an aspec physically disabled person who fucking loves viktor:

after the whole "why can't men just be friends" debacle (which, yknow, a simple "we didn't intend them as romantic" would suffice), confirming viktor as asexual seemingly directly in opposition to romantic interpretations of jayvik doesn't feel super purely intentioned, and feels like an attempt to shut the ship down whilst greatly misunderstanding how aspec identities work and using it as a shield against homophobia allegations (since viktor is still queer). if he's intended as asexual representation, why were we given no reason (outside of his disinterest in romance with sky, which could be interpreted as either disinterest in women or disinterest in her specifically - and would imply aromanticism, not asexuality) to solidly identify him as such? why does this only come up to debunk a popular mlm ship, and not just as a cool detail about his character? i'm not saying this as some rally to make the ship canon, i'm just saying it feels like it was done more to shut people up than to provide any actual decent representation.

having the sole asexual representation of your series be the physically disabled man who has an entire character arc about thinking he's broken plays directly into ableist stereotypes about disabled people being sexless and undesirable, an issue that the arcane fandom has never been exempt from. (if other disabled characters (like salo, for instance) were shown to be sexually active or even just sexually desirable, this would be less of a concern. if there were more asexual characters than just viktor, this would be less of a concern.)

[saintadeline]

Ohhh I am trying so hard not to get mad at people online you have to believe me but that post about bloodborne liking women is driving me a little bit crazy not gonna lie. We can all so clearly see and point out misogyny in ds (um. Im hoping at least) so why can't we ever do it in bloodborne? Even though its the same people? What about bloodborne makes you think theyre feminists all of a sudden. Because it talks about women? Okay, but that's not how that works, a work that disregards women is misogynistic, that much everyone knows, but a work that does talk about women but portray them in a weird light can also very much be. Also whenever people say bloodborne is about women or femininity, a huge chunk of the time what they mean is bloodborne is about motherhood and pregnancy. Which is true, but thats... Not what womanhood is thats not what women are about you can't just reduce women as a concept to birth. And motherhood. And being caretakers. Almost every woman in bloodborne has less agency than their men counterparts, most of them are more strongly abused, shown as complacent and weak and only exist to serve. Even maria has no agency and is constantly driven back to the fact she was gman's apprentice and following he and laurence's orders. She has little identity outside of them in written down ingame lore and the one time she did something outside of them, is the one time she became a caretaker (because all women are it seems). The fact the og lady maria npc even exists is even worse on that part. I'm using her as an example because shes the one people most often take as an example of bb being good about women (look theres a strong female character!) but it's obviously much more than just her, just look at arianna and adella for more than one second. The only npcs i can think of that i would consider Actually Good And Normal About Women are eileen and fauxsefka. And i mean actual npcs im not counting bosses that we dont know much about on a personal level (like rom and amelia)

What I'm trying to say is, i think it's awesome when people have feminist interpretations of bloodborne and i think its a good thing to take those female characters for yourself and its a good thing to make the game as transgender and gay as you want it to be, and its perfect soil for that too, i do it all the time and find many many themes in it by myself, but we can't keep lying to ourselves that it was any good at it on its own. It's soulsborne for fuck's sake it has Always been Really Weird about women and minorities just look at ds look at firekeepers and gwyndolin and many other examples. Bloodborne isnt exempt from that just because men are writing about pregnancy as horror.

[ursula-legun]

so exhausted/annoyed by queer people being like "oh yeah fuck the family we hate the family" and then being like "oh yeah i was talking to my mom - my CHOSEN mom - about blah blah blah" like just say your friend. your mentor. whatever. if you hate the (nuclear) family so much why are you dragging its (GENDERED) social roles forward with you like this. you cannot deconstruct a hierarchy/role by just elevating other people/things to the same position in said hierarchy/role, oh my godddd

[zukoromantic]

My precure color opinions because why not. Don't read if you think you'll be upset reading different opinions, i just wanna put this out there haha😭:

Summer is white, let her be white (this is the one i'm the most passionate about). I didn't even KNOW there was a debate on this until this year, what in the world. None of that rainbow or pink nonsense. I don't even know why she would be classified as rainbow officially. Especially when the color they TRY to force her into is pink (for example saying today's color is pink before the outro). I heard she was created to be white but i don't know the source of that so that might be wrong

i agree with Finale being golden, she gets to be golden as a treat <3. She is not purple, y'all are just mean, compare her to actual purple cures. A golden theme really suits her in my opinion, it's beautiful and elegant like her. There should be more golden cures that have some some golden accents imo :D

Parfait is green to me with rainbow sub-color, i KNOW it makes no sense and she is just a rainbow cure, but that's what she is in my brain somehow acejcdksvd

Cosmo is blue with rainbow sub-color, but SHOULD have been rainbow. Maybe with blue sub-color bc it Does with the team arrangement (also should have had her cat form in cure form but that's beside the point). I heard they WANTED to make her rainbow but weren't allowed?! Unsure about that too though

i haven't seen hugtto yet but ma cherie literally looks so pink acejcdjd. You're red? Whatever you say, girl, you can be anything you wanna be, who am i to tell you otherwise <3

Milky as green is fine, but i see why people want turquoise to just be its own category. I think her color shouldn't look different though, she looks great

similair for Lillian, except that i've seen some people giving her a wonderful light green and she would look gorgeous!

Nyammy can be a blue cure if she wants <3. Especially next to Lillian, it's obvious how white is their base color and they define themselves via the accents. But also she is literally the whitest cure ever made, let alone the whitest blue cure wcejev

Felice is fine as green cure and she's beautiful

there should be more pink non-leaders like Butterfly

bring back black as cure color. Also brown and grey would be gorgeous <3

i actually prefer when cures look kinda colorful and they AREN'T monotone. The main color is really more about the vibe in my opinion, like with Finale and Nyammy haha!

This is all light-hearted, just thought it would be fun to post these bc everyone has Some precure color opinions xD! 🙌 It's so funny how color discourse is such a serious topic in precure fandom CSJDVEK

If anyone wants to share their own opinions, you can tell but please only if it's in good faith 🙏

[aimfor-theheart]

my thing with emma stone winning is like…..her performance in poor things was good—she’s a good actress. but it did not compare to gladstone’s. it’s not like emma stone is this aged actress whose never gotten an oscar before and the academy felt the need to give her her flowers finally after years of hard work despite not out acting her peers….rather she’s a young actress whose already won an oscar previously. and she will likely be nominated and win more in her future too.

more than that, roles for emma stone are always and will always be around. and this one in particular was not insanely groundbreaking.

roles like the one lily gladstone played in killers of the flower moon are (unfortunately) far more rare in hollywood and especially by such an esteemed director and to be acknowledged at this level. it’s just a shame she didn’t win. it was so much more poignant and astounding of a performance than emma stone’s.

[cantsayidont]

Another dilemma with centering stories around the idea of Superman-as-immigrant is that while Superman is certainly an immigrant, and there is a substantial body of older Superman stories (mostly from 1958–1986) that present his homeworld and its culture as generally noble (and frequently Jewish-coded), it has become very common since the 1986 reboot for Superman media to treat Kryptonian culture as either decadent and corrupt (as in most of the post-Crisis comics) or actively invasive and evil (as in MAN OF STEEL or MY ADVENTURES WITH SUPERMAN).

In these stories, Superman has avoided this decadence or evil mostly by virtue of having been raised by white Americans in Kansas, and his nobility lies in his express rejection of his evil/corrupt heritage in favor of (white) American culture. These are intrinsically anti-immigrant narratives (and sometimes antisemitic as well), regardless of how much feel-good gloss the story may attempt to apply to it.

The first season of the current SUPERMAN AND LOIS TV show, for instance, plays out an alarmingly literal "Great Replacement" plot in which Superman's half-brother Tal-Rho attempts to carry out a genocidal scheme devised by Superman's eugenicist mother to resurrect Kryptonians in the bodies of living humans, while MY ADVENTURES WITH SUPERMAN presents Kryptonians as brutal invaders who have attempted to militarily conquer the Earth more than once. Neither of these series departs from the general details of Superman's origin, but they assert unequivocally that Superman being an immigrant from Krypton is of moral value only because it gives him super-powers that enable him to defend the American Way from others of his kind, and to uphold white culture in ways other Kryptonians do not or would not.

[lanternlightss]

shout out to venti and nameless bard, who have been making me feel shrimp emotions since late 2021,

[designernishiki]

just a thought but like. if akiyama, who’s established as being a bizarrely talented investigator in y5, suspected kiryu’s death to have been faked (or at least “fishy” in his own words) basically on the fucking Spot, i feel like it just makes sense that majima would’ve been just as quick, if not quicker to see where shit wasn’t adding up and become skeptical that the whole thing was a coverup. reason being, in y5 he put shit together and figured out the grand scheme going on so damn early most people didn’t even suspect yet that there was any scheme going on. he then faked his own death well enough to get it in the papers and had masterminded himself all the way to the final boss (with some help of course) before things backfired on him. so he’s got some crazy good skills when it comes to reading people, figuring out their intentions, putting puzzle pieces together, etc– way better than he wants people knowing, generally– and he knows the hallmark signs of a faked death because he’s literally done it before. all that on top of knowing kiryu like the back of his hand and knowing damn well how hard this man is to kill, and how prone to running away from shit for the sake of the safety of people he cares about (for better or for worse) he is. he could absolutely put together that, if given the opportunity by some faction or powerful individual, kiryu would sacrifice his identity and status as a legit living person for the assured safety of others, or for yakuza tensions to diminish, or maybe even as an act of self-flagellation.

tldr: I think the reasons majima didn’t go rogue/apeshit after kiryu’s alleged death are that A) for once he has saejima around to reign him in and make it feel less like Everything has been lost, B) I think he’s legitimately known pretty much all along that kiryu didn’t die that day; nor would he believe it unless he saw it with his own eye.

[coydog-teeth]

honestly so fun to find new parts of myself that click together

[excelsior9173]

ugh. some days i look at my parents and their partners and then my sister and her gf and i think “i want that too”

but. then i look at actually putting in the effort to date and possibly find a partner and it’s just. it seems so exhausting. and i feel a little ridiculous being 24, through an entire university degree and starting on a second, and feeling like i have no idea who i am or what i want. and i know it’s dumb to feel ridiculous- i am so very young still and in the prime years of “idfk who i am”

but. i do think it would be nice to have someone who would say fuck it and go to random concerts with me. i routinely show up just before set times so that i can feel less awkward about just standing around waiting with no one to visit with.

i don’t mind doing things alone, i enjoy being alone. my sister has practically moved in with her gf and i basically live alone again and i’ve been doing better than when my sister is around. but i don’t want to be lonely. and i think i’m feeling a little lonely?

but idk how to feel romantic attraction. every time i think i do i step back and realize that it’s just platonic. and idk how to be present for someone else. i feel like caring for my own mind is such a monumental task, how could i ever be a support for someone else?

something about the sun returning and spring blossoming sets off the yearning… but i also feel fundamentally off axis about it all. like i’m just a little too alien to be loved by another person. idk. i’ve slept in my own bed three times in the last week and a half, i’m feeling a little lost and worn out. which makes me lonely and yearn.

[mangled-by-disuse]

talking to friends about The Horrors, specifically the Trumpian Horrors, and, like

the more I consider it, the more I think that the best thing we outside the US can do - for ourselves, for the world, and for America as well - is to just holler to the fucking rooftops that AMERICA IS NOT THE WORLD.

By which I mean:

we do not let politicians, media, and our own social circles convince us that American issues are the only issues worth discussing;

we challenge politicians, media, and our own social circles on the politics of appeasement;

we challenge ourselves on the assumption that laws passed in the US affect us directly, and we do not place ourselves in American shoes;

we focus on our own shit. Not because it's more important, but because we need to remember that it still exists. Our eyes cannot be on the USA while the legislative and political rights in our own countries are eroded from under us.

we look to the rest of the world. We get used to viewing people who don't look like us, talk like us, or even like us as an equal and crucial part of the political landscape.

WE ARE LOUD ABOUT THIS. In politics, in activism, in social contexts, in our own assessment of our own politics, we remember and hold up that America is NOT the centre of the world, and that American hegemony is NOT inevitable.

This is not because I'm trying to undermine American struggles. This is because the Trump administration is strengthened and bolstered by every other country that chooses to suck the cock of American supremacy in the desperate attempt to maintain the last remnants of the old imperial order.

It is up to everyone in the world to challenge that, and to say: yeah, this fucking sucks, and we want America to be better, but we don't need America.

There are other markets. There are other allies and potential allies. There are other global powers (Personally I think we should try to dismantle global powers entirely, but, you know, one battle at a time) and there are other political shifts.

So much of the current rightward swing in the UK, at least, is directly modelled on MAGA to the point that it's the same movement, to the point where the branches of that movement feed power and influence to one another. You know what has consistently been one of the more successful tactics? Fucking reminding people that they are not, in fact, offering solutions to the problems Britain faces, because these are American solutions and we are not America.

idk it feels stupid to say this. it feels stupid to have to point out that Not Everywhere Is America, and it feels even stupider to think that this is something that needs pointing out to the systems of power. But the more I think about it, the surer I am that one of the tentpoles of American power, and therefore of Trump's power (in the US as well as beyond it!) is just... the willingness of so much of the world to say: yeah, sure, everything is America.

WE ARE NOT AMERICA.

AMERICA DOES NOT HAVE TO CONTROL US.

idk. maybe it won't change shit. but maybe yelling that at international power structures loudly enough - making noise about issues that are not American, focusing our efforts outside America, challenging American supremacy on the global stage - is, in fact, the most useful thing we can do.

[breadedsinner]

This is a Kingkiller Chronicles Hater Zone

[depresseddepot]

weird thing about me is that I am so serious about new year's resolutions that the last week of december feels like I'm in one of those "preparing for war" montages (but in a good way)

[judasisgayriot]

I can’t do this without you, Nathan.