#I didnt learn that what i thought was feeling stubborn?

[kesstc]

so, I wanted to offer this as an alternate pov- from the kid who was taken at face value for that exact statement. Keep in mind while you’re reading this that I am a woman with treatment resistant depression and anxiety-as well as autism. My ability to communicate what I am feeling has been sub par for quite a long time-as has my ability to ensure im taken seriously. PLEASE be careful how you do this. I have a very vivid memory from high school- I was reaching a personal breaking point, one where I had accepted the fact that when i died it would be because I killed myself. I had made a last ditch effort to do… anything, really. I finally mustered up the courage to ask to see a therapist and it just… I remember being in her office one day. I was a choir kid, and I hadn’t done the practice I needed to in order to not embarrass myself at our “test” the next day. When I hadn’t been able to sing my part correctly on a previous test, a classmate had berated me for it; and in a choir of no more than 10- that destroyed me. So that day, when i was sobbing and hyperventilating in the therapists office, I uttered the words “my teacher is going to kill me.” My therapist looked me dead in the eye and said, “I think it’s unlikely, but if you’re really concerned we can set up a plan.” That was the moment I gave up. Over and over and over I had begged her to just help me- to take my pain seriously, my anxiety seriously, my depression seriously- but each time she talked about how “everyone feels that way sometimes” or just stared at me in silence, waiting for me to go on. I had seen this woman for almost a year, she knew me and had heard about my teacher several times before (he was a strict man, but incredibly kind. He was there to conduct our choir at my dad’s funeral the summer he died. He came home from a trip to do it, and to show that support and care alongside my classmates.) Hearing her respond in that way told me-in no uncertain terms- that no one would ever take me seriously. It told me that what I felt was meaningless. Taking this one thing seriously after months of empty platitudes made it clear that the only way anyone was going to give a damn about me was if i was dead- and gods did i want to be dead. I stopped seeing her a few sessions later, and it is truly just luck that has kept me alive 20 odd years later. It took me a good 10 to 15 years to seek out help again, and the damage done in that time will take me my entire lifetime to undo. Take children seriously, but please-do so with care. Don’t just take the statement at face value at all times. Ask them questions first, get to know more about the situation- because asking questions and trying to understand what’s happening DOES make someone feel like they are being taken seriously. It tells them you are trying to understand their situation so you can genuinely offer the help they need. Not doing so can make them feel like they’re being laughed at- like they’re the butt of a joke; after all, that’s what it did to me. Taking a child’s fear for their life seriously can save their life- but doing it in the wrong way can completely isolate them at the time when they need help the most. Perhaps im taking the above statements in a way that’s too black and white, but as someone who can sometimes miss the minutiae- and who has been failed repeatedly by professionals her entire life- please, please- don't just lean on protocol. Ask questions. Truly hear them and don’t just jump to “how can we protect you” first. Because kids don't always know how to say what it is they actually need. And if that child truly is in an abusive situation, the idea of doing something that could anger their parent (like telling on them to an authority figure) can cause them to shut down and change their story on a dime.

Adult ProTip, from a security professional: If a kid tells you, "My parents are gonna kill me / kick my ass / kick me out" for something relatively minor, don't respond with shit like "Really? ;) that sounds a little extreme, don't you think sweetie?" because that shit really does happen.

Instead, respond as though whatever threat they are afraid of is fully valid, and offer whatever you can do to help- ask if they believe they are in danger of being hurt in any way, and work accordingly.

If they're overreacting, they'll usually realize and dial it back, self-correct and begin thinking a bit more rationally.

If they're not overreacting, and the danger is real, then they'll need a level-headed adult in their corner, not another condescending authority figure who doesn't believe them.

[barcaatthemoon]

silence || lia walti x reader ||

lia doesn't think you'll come to her game while the two of you are fighting.

you hated the quiet, but you were stubborn. lia was mad at you for something, an old fight that was rehashed a few days ago. you didn't seem to get the message, so lia had left last night. there was no note, no call or text. lia packed up an overnight bag and made her way to leah's to get ready for the game. you didn't even know if lia wanted you to come, but you were going to anyway.

this game was big, and even if you weren't there for just lia, you'd go to support the friends you had made on the arsenal team. as a kid, you had played on the youth team, but eventually gave it up for a coaching career. you had spent years learning in america coaching a college team before you came back to london to take a position at a team a league down from arsenal.

you loved your job, occasionally too much. you put in way more time and effort than what was required of you to do so. lia wanted you to take a step back and relax a little, but you couldn't. that was probably the root of the fight, and regrettable things were said on both ends. neither you nor lia were innocent in this fight. you knew that you had to apologize, but you weren't sure if lia would feel the same way and that was where your apprehension came in.

it was easy enough to find your seat in the friends and family section. you always sat in the same place, generally next to the same people. since today was a big day, you found yourself sandwiched between katie's and alessia's mothers. you liked the two women, who definitely doted on you a little whenever they saw you.

sometimes, you'd sit with lia's family when they came down, but you doubted that they'd want to see you. lia had to have told someone what was going on, so you stayed in your seat. you tried to keep to your best behavior in order to not attract attention. you knew how lia could be after big fights, and the last thing you wanted to do was distract her with such a big game hanging over her head. to a lot of people, it was just another game, but you knew that a loss here would knock them out of any major tournament play chances.

"(y/n), lia said you weren't coming today." you hated how surprised alessia looked as she saw you. you rubbed the back of your neck as you awkwardly shifted your weight between your feet. "i thought you were out of town."

"is that what she told you?" you asked. alessia shook her head, but you didnt miss the guilty look on her face. "i should probably go. good job today less, that was a great goal."

you quickly shoved all of your things in your bag and tried to make a quick exit when you walked right into lia. she had her back to you, so she didn't notice who it was until you were speeding past her. the conversation with her parents was immediately cut short to chase after you, genuinely not having believed that you'd try to come see her play after the week of silence between the two of you.

lia knew that you hated not talking to her, but you wouldn't open up communication until she did. whether it was you being stubborn or just not knowing how, lia wasn't completely sure. she knew that you had a hard time opening up to anybody, and that sometimes it was easiest to give you space to work things out on your own. lia also knew that she had really hurt your feelings during your last argument, and that it was best if she didn't accidentally say something to make it worse.

"i'm really happy that you showed up," lia said as she grabbed onto your wrist. you stopped moving the moment that she touched you. "i missed you last night and this morning. are we okay?"

"yeah, i think so," you told her. lia let out a sigh of relief as she pulled you into a hug. you melted against her body, leaning heavily into her embrace. "will you come home tonight?"

"only if you're sure that you want me back. i am really sorry for what i said and for ignoring you. you'd never expect me to put my job on the backburner for you, and i can't expect you to do the same for me," lia apologized. after the week that you had, you easily would have done anything that lia wanted you to. luckily, she realized that you were living your dream the same way that she was.

"i'm sorry that i've been distant. i'll be better," you promised. lia smiled as she cupped your cheeks and leaned in to kiss you. you kissed her back eagerly, hoping to make up for all of the kisses that you had missed out on because of the fighting. "go back and celebrate with your team, i'll pick up something for dinner."

"no, come celebrate with us. i don't want to celebrate without you there too."

[blackknight-kai]

Hello! I've been reading your works and I absolutely love it 💖💖 you're actually the first few people who got me into this fandom, and for that I'm eternally grateful ☺

As for the ask, is it ok if I ask general yan HCS of both monkeys? Maybe with fem reader? NSFW is fine. Thanks so much and have a good day! ❤

OOoOOooOOkay! So Ima give this my best shot! Keep in mind I do more ‘soft’ yandere mainly because I do like me a bit of romance with my darker stuff. I WILL add some darker things at the end though!! (I don’t delve into yan often so bare with me 🫶🫂 I’m learning)

Keep in mind before proceeding this isnt your typical HC everyone :)! It’s going to have some Non Con/stalking/whatever comes to my mind. I went with whatever direction my brain was going so I hope this came out okay!

Warning: Yandere ideas

Destined One

At first you didnt notice anything different about him compared to anyone else outside of the obvious physical traits and some personality traits. He’s reserved, quiet, and focused entirely on his goals. His determination and strength is something that awes you to this day. Something you do notice about him though is that hes observant. Always taking note of his surroundings and using his senses to keep himself aware of what going on. When you first started traveling with him he seemed to almost…ignore you a bit. As though you weren’t really a scratch on his so called journey and mission. But over time you start to notice him staring at you and watching you. It’s a little intense but you just chalk it up to him being him, maybe he’s curious about his companion finally?

- [ ] He hadnt really thought much of you when you first joined him. It honestly took him a bit of time to realize he’d grown a bit….attached to you. His eyes always following your every move and his ears always listening for you. Your scent? He has that memorized.

- [ ] DO is going to start off subtle about his attentions towards you. He’s not going to be rash, unless something pushes him to it.

- [ ] He’s ALWAYS watching you. Always knows where you are and what youre doing.

- [ ] His feelings for you go from zero to almost 100 - although he’s silent about it at first. You’re going to notice him staring or even sometimes getting things you needed for you before you even knew you needed it.

- [ ] DO doesnt do things in half measures. He’s focused. Which means once he’s turned his attentions on you, ALL of him is focused on you.

- [ ] DO knows it’s wrong, but cant stop himself from doing some of the more…inappropriate things with you. Such as watching you while you bathe or change.

- [ ] *Non Con - He’s going to end up touching you while you sleep. Be it an accident at first (yeah right) or he just doesn’t stop his urge to do so. But he’s going touch you because you’re too inviting to him. He won’t go so far as full on sex, but you will be caressed and eventually as he gains confidence you’ll find marks you’re not sure where they came from. He’s going to decide the very first night his hands slip under your clothes that you are his.

- [ ] No one else will EVER see you or touch you like he had. Ever.

- [ ] He’s going to be hyper attentive to you, lulling you into this sense of “Aw he cares for me and takes care of me”. While YES he does, it’s also to further his own goal in regards to you. The foods he brings? Not every time, but sometimes might have a little something in them that makes you a little…sleepy. Pliant. So he can run his hands under your clothes or leave little marks on you without you making a fuss. Your body will NOT be afraid of his touch, he’s going to make sure of it. Sex is still something he’s reserving for…claiming you fully. For now, he’s going to take his time getting your body just used to his hands and the way he makes you feel with them or his tail.

- [ ] He’s going to manhandle you, sit you where he wants you and if you fuss he’s stubborn and won’t budge about it, using his strength to hold you where he put you, to the point you let him have his way because it’s not worth arguing over.

- [ ] You dont realize it but he’s also been scenting the hell out of you, your clothes, and even your bed furs. To you, it just smells like a combination of you, the forest, and of him - which you dont think anything of because he carries stuff for you a lot.

- [ ] But him scenting that stuff? It’s a very loud claim especially since it’s not just him rubbing his face or neck on the items….no he’s rubbing those materials around his cock and balls. Getting his musk all over it.

- [ ] On you, he will be a bit more subtle with his scenting. Wrapping a tail around you or brushing his hand through your hair or against you as he walks by. But sometimes DO shoves his hand down his pants, coating his hand or even tail in his musk and then rubs it on you. You are HIS.

- [ ] He’s jealous as all hell too and will make it known by how he behaves towards others in regards to you. Does NOT like anyone even looking at you, it makes him want to carry you off to some makeshift nest and KEEP you there, to prevent wandering eyes.

- [ ] Speaking of, as soon as his journey ends thats exactly what he wants to do. If he doesnt have a place in mind he’s definitely going to make sure he finds one. It will be the nest for the two of you. He will make sure he gets you everything you need so you wont need to go out.

- [ ] Before that though, he’s going to do everything in his power to make sure you know that you’re his and he’s going to make sure you dont want anyone else.

- [ ] When his journey is over, immediately youre thrown over his shoulder. He’s carting you off to your permanent home, away from any dangers or the possibility of someone stealing you away from him.

- [ ] Here is where he’s a bit more…demanding and forceful. See, by this point he knows your body wants him, he’s smelled and felt how wet you get for his touch and he’s seen your eyes on him. You’ve been slowly pulled into his orbit once he has you in his chosen space he’s going to have all of you.

- [ ] He’s not going to just strip you and shove himself in, no. He still wants to make sure your body is willing. So he’s going to be more bold and more obvious about his touches.

- [ ] Bathing alone? Not anymore. Changing alone? Nope. Unless he’s gone doing something like gathering food or a quick patrol, your body is for his eyes. He will let you have some modesty but he’s going to slip his hands under your clothes when he pleases and feel your soft warm skin.

- [ ] You’re going to be awake when his tail or fingers forcefully slip between your legs, he’s going to pull orgasms out of you until your awake conscious learns to relax for his touch like your sleeping body and conscious do.

- [ ] You wont be allowed to leave, he will make sure a clone is around you at all times if he cant be and when youre sleeping he’s wrapped around you, his limbs like vices.

- [ ] Your skin will be marked with his bites and some claw marks, not deep enough to truly harm but enough to remind you of him when he’s out of sight.

- [ ] He will slowly get you addicted to his taste as well, slipping a pre or cum coated finger into your mouth as you orgasm so your brain learns that his taste means pleasure.

- [ ] When he takes you he’s going to be gentle but firm, he wants you to feel good but also wont let you resist him. He’s CLAIMING you now. His fangs will bite into you, this time with the purpose to scar his claim on you.

- [ ] After this, he’s going to make sure youre always ready for him, is not above using a clone to keep you spread open and wet for him via cock warming or a prefucking. You will be molded to the shape of his cock.

- [ ] He’s also going to slip inside you when you sleep, waking you as he ruts into you or touches your body.

- [ ] Your body WILL know that his touch means pleasure, but if you resist he’s going to make sure you remember your place. He will be rougher with you. Wanting you to submit.

- [ ] He will always pamper you after, cuddling you and cleaning you. But his cum will remain inside you until he’s ready to help you wash it out.

- [ ] He’s going to make sure you are so reliant on him, his touch, his presence, and all he does for you that you wont remember that his possessiveness isnt normal, that he’d stolen you away without asking and that he continues to lay his claim on you.

- [ ] No, youre lulled into a sense of belonging with him….youre his to care for, protect, and take.

- [ ] All in all and in general, Destined One is a quiet but firm yandere lover. Only when you really push back/push his dominance does he get too harsh with you. Depending on WHEN he finds you will depend on how quickly he steals you away. But he’s going to take care of you, you are HIS mate and mates are to be cared for, protected. He knows it’s not exactly normal to keep you the way he does, but something in him wont allow for you to even have the possibility to consider someone else. He’s going to show you that HE is the best for you. That HE knows the best for you. He may be jealous and possessive but he wont harm you so much so that you would be repulsed by his touch. No, he wants you pliant and giving in when he reaches for you, relaxing in his embrace or even seeking his touch out. If you take your pleasure with out him, he’s not going to let you sleep, it will get to the point you will end up passing out and he will keep going. He’s going to take you again when you wake. Your pleasure is for him to take and give.

Wukong:

Wukong is…very friendly to you. He also is a very good, if sometimes annoying, traveling companion or protector. So you really don’t notice anything out of the ordinary with him in the beginning. By the time you do it’s honestly too late for you. He’s lulled you into his intricate web and there’s no escape from him. Because he’s had his eyes on you and what Wukong wants, Wukong gets. He also knows there is no one else better than him for you.

- [ ] He knows almost immediately after meeting you that he wants you. It’s not a normal ‘want’ either. It’s the kind of greed he that claws at him from the inside desperate to get out and get a hold of you.

- [ ] Wukong will temper SOME of his more…greedy tendencies down. At first. But he has a way about him that is very demanding and commanding. Being the King and powerful being he is.

- [ ] He has a way of making you feel comfortable around him, as though you belong by his side. He’s going to make sure you see HIM as your protector and someone to go to for help or anything you need.

- [ ] Wukong will be outright flirtatious with you, but he wont be overtly forceful with his touches right away. He wants to get you warmed up to him and used to his ‘casual’ touches. Something he does NOT do for others but you dont need to know that.

- [ ] He definitely disguises himself when you go bathing, be it a fish in the water or a bug flying about. He wants his eyes on you at all times. Yes, this means he may brush against you often while in his forms of trickery.

- [ ] Would absolutely disguise himself as a woman in a bathhouse if you went to one and offer to help you bathe. (He will fish for compliments about himself if you mention him traveling with you)

- [ ] Wukong is going to be manipulative in a way you dont even realize. He’s mouthy and cunning so he’s going to use his words to steer you in whatever direction he wants things to go in.

- [ ] He’s also very opinionated and stubborn, sometimes using that to his advantage to get you to submit to him with some kind of benefit after, be it something he gets for you or he’s just all around more pleasant. He’s subtle about it all at first.

- [ ] Everything will be orchestrated to his needs/wants even if it LOOKS like it’s yours, because in his mind he knows what’s best FOR you.

- [ ] You’re going to wear clothes he finds for you (will probably take your preferences into consideration because he wants you happy but will definitely get things that suit his taste too), you will periodically have to share his clothes (because he dirty’s yours on purpose or ruins them).

- [ ] He wants you to rely on him for most things, getting you food to cook, personal effects/items, etc. Essentially hes going to be a sugar daddy LMFAO but in a way that he’s not necessarily giving you money, he just gets the thing for you while you wait for him because he wants you getting used to HIM taking care of you.

- [ ] *Non Con - Wukong will definitely slip things at times into your food or drink, wanting to make you think your having lovely dreams about him but in reality he has you in his lap, your legs spread wide open, one over each of his knees as he’s caressing your body or filling your hole with his tail or fingers. The wet sounds filling the air while youre out of it. Come morning there wont be a trace on you - besides the ever present lingering scent of his on your skin thanks to how touchy he is in general. Through this he explores your body, getting it needy for his touch.

- [ ] He’s also going to cum on you while you sleep or will rub his precum on the inside of your panties so when you wear them you dont even realize what he’s done as its mixed with your natural discharge of fluids that end up on your underwear throughout the day. But HIS precum and scent is pressed directly against your pussy all day.

- [ ] Depending on the situation - he may steal you away right away or he might wait and bide his time, getting you to be relaxed with him before he takes you away for himself.

- [ ] Either way, once he has you to himself he’s going to get more intense. He may not penetrate you right away but he’s going to make you crave him, until you finally beg him to bully his cock into your hole.

- [ ] He’s going to press against you all the time, rubbing his body on yours, striping you and bringing you to the edge of pleasure with his fingers, mouth, or tail until UH OH, you didnt beg him to claim you. Oops….cant orgasm because you clearly dont need him like you should. But that doesnt mean HE cant cum. So he’s going to do so and rub it into your skin or cuming against your mouth as he holds it open. Wukong wants to cum in your pussy but he holds back, instead cleaning his cock off with your panties and making you wear them all day. Showing ownership over you.

- [ ] As mentioned before, hes mouthy. He’s going to be good at using his words and voice to pick at things and make you question things. Including calling you out on your body’s reactions to him. He finds it amusing when you try to hide it. He’s going to dig into those things about you and make you squirm - get you worked up as he whispers filthy things to you. Things you might not even have thought about but now you are.

- [ ] All you’re going to know is him, what he can give you and what he does for you. He’s made sure of it. So by the time you finally beg him to stuff you full, finally fully submitting to him and giving up your stubborn pride, he’s not going to hesitate. He’s going to press you down, ass up face pressed to the floor or bed with his hand on the back of your neck as he holds you down. His cock is going to enter you in one thrust and he will be nice for just a moment to let you spasm around his shape. Wukong will coo at you and the second you even slightly relax hes going to pull back and thrust in hard. The way he takes you that first time is total dominance, you will know who you belong to and where you belong. His finger prints will be bruised into your skin and his bite mark on you as he fully claims you as HIS MATE.

- [ ] He’s going to take care of you after though dont worry, he will be gentle and kiss your body. But he’s going to make you orgasm no matter how sore or overstimulated you are - this second round will be softer. The part of him that loves you and wants to pamper you taking over.

- [ ] Wukong wont have any issue playing with you in front of his monkeys (adult ones), so if there’s a meeting going on expect his tail to wander where it shouldn’t, slipping inside you. Or he will have a clone who’s bullied his way between your legs under the table. He might even have you sit on his cock, keeping still as he deals with whatever monkey business is going on. No one will ever see an intimate part of you, he wants to keep that for himself. But they will hear you screaming his name and they will see his marks on you.

- [ ] Over all Wukong as a yandere is much more vocally and mentally manipulative. He is also raw power and strength not used to being denied. If youre too stubborn or push back he’s going to show you who is boss and why HIS way is best. He wont ever truly harm you, but youre going to know punishment / consequences for your actions if you displease him. You’re his mate, so he’s going to take care of you but it’s going to be in the way he deems best. If you fully give yourself over to him he will pamper the absolute fuck out of you while also probably pushing your boundaries here and there. Because he LIKES showing his ownership of you. Wukong wont mind you taking your own pleasure but for every orgasm you have (essentially taking them from him) he’s going to have some form of punishment lined out for you. Your body is going to know the feel of him and him alone, or him and his clones because he has zero problem with pushing you to your limits with his clones, wanting to see you cock drunk on him.

General Both:

- [ ] Regularly walks around with your juices on his chin or on the fur surrounding his cock.

- [ ] Good at after care but doesn’t hold back when he wants something

- [ ] Loves seeing his marks on your skin and presses against them regularly with his fingers to watch you squirm and remember how you got the marks.

- [ ] Not above using all the tricks in the book to get you.

- [ ] Will happily chase you down if you run - into predator/prey stuff.

- [ ] Sensitive to your returned (given willingly) affection.

Extra dark -

these are harsher so skip if you don’t like: Doing a “both” here because it’s easier. These are in general terms so different AUs/situations apply

- [ ] Very jealous & possessive. If someone shows interest in you…they aren’t gonna live long.

- [ ] Will manipulate the things around you without you knowing to get what he wants which is YOU. Be it people or events etc - will make himself look like a good option/only option you have. (If he has to clone into someone or kill someone / make them look bad he will do it)

- [ ] He thinks he knows what’s best for you so whatever he needs to do he will and you will learn that too.

- [ ] Will kill someone you may have been interested in/with/might be married off too.

- [ ] Will assert his dominance by fucking you/making you scream for him in front of someone who had eyes on you/dating you/married to you/getting married to you while a clone of his holds them captive- will kill them after he’s done showing the person who you belong to.

- [ ] Will have you cock warm him while he’s doing important things (WK kingly duties etc). Doesn’t care if others are in the room but they better not LOOK at you. That’s the rule.

- [ ] Will use you until he’s done - especially if you fight him. But he’s going to make sure you crave him and his touch/pleasure.

- [ ] Rough with you, you will have his marks on your body at all times be it scratch’s or bites and bruises. (Might make a special mark - maybe his initials)

- [ ] Going to keep you open and wet for him for when he needs you. Loves you cock drunk and mindless. Uses you as stress relief too after a hard day/fight

- [ ] Would absolutely baby trap you.

- [ ] If he wanted to really play with you, he’d capture you, fuck you, and release you with his cum still filling you (he’s going to be near by don’t worry). He will do this many times until all you can dream about is him/his touch. (Yes he could just keep you but he wants to mentally mess with you - make you crave the pleasure he forces on you)

- [ ] In that same category- will spike your food/drink and will fuck you into his shape. You’ll wake thinking you had some erotic dream but in reality he had genuinely claimed you.

- [ ] Will stalk the fuck out of you, you’ll catch him out of the corner of your eye because he WANTS you to. Wants to smell your fear a little because it excites him.

- [ ] Will make you walk around with his cum on your skin/In you - you WILL smell like his.

- [ ] Will get you anything you need but takes his payment from your body/pleasure. (Publicly too)

- [ ] You will wear the things he picks for you, some for his eyes only. Be it body jewelry or sexy items. When you’re in public you wear his favorite colors on you or the things he adorns you with.

- [ ] Fighting him is useless and only eggs him on - push him too much though and he WILL assert his power over you. You won’t be moving anywhere and will feel his ‘punishment’

- [ ] Mentally/emotionally will make it so you are so far gone on him and dependent on him you don’t even consider escaping anymore.

- [ ] Because while he’s dominant and forceful he adds enough sweetness to keep you addicted to him. Yes, he will take care of you and your basic needs and even provide good after care. You are his mate at the end of the day.

- [ ] You sleep with him every night - snug against his body. (If he hasn’t stolen you away he’s definitely sneaking into your bed)

- [ ] Regularly uses his clones not only to monitor you but to keep you ready for him. Might play punishment games if you cum while being touched by a clone.

- [ ] If someone tries to help you escape you’re going to be given their head as a trophy.

- [ ] If someone tries to take you from him, he’s going to level mountains.

- [ ] Might test you to see if you will try to escape….punishments as consequences.

- [ ] Will protect you with everything he has and any children you give him.

- [ ] Depending on the situation is suspicious if you returning affection - but if he sees it’s genuine he’s going to be smug as fuck and also very vulnerable about it but won’t show that.

[bluewhitehues]

I hate you not ♡

Choi Seungchol × f. reader

/Arranged marriage/ forced marriage /

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Genre: Angst,fluff,sort of enemies to lovers.

Summary:Married against their will, seungcheol and y/n end up hating each other.

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Part1 | Part 2 | Part 3

It was past 9 pm and you still weren't home. Seungcheol was starting to get worried and he couldn't even call or text to ask you. You despise each other or atleast you both tried to.

He is out in the garden of your house strolling there ..well it's an excuse, he's just waiting for you. The guard opens the gate and then he sees you getting out of a car, leaning down to the window and smiling at the person inside. He looks handsome seungcheol notices. It makes him clench his jaw unknowingly.

When you get inside and notice him standing there you pass by him,completely ignoring him.

As soon as you enter the house,he follows closing the door behind him.

"who was he?" He asks unable to control his curiosity .

You huff , "Relax ..I'm not cheating on "you" in our nonexistent relationship."

" I didnt say anything like that,I just asked a question. Cant you ever just answer what is asked?

"Why? who are you to question me and do I have to answer you?" ..you huffed angrily trying not to raise your voice ..you just wanted to eat finally and go to sleep after the exhausting long day but he had to ruin it.Ofcourse.

Listening to you he was barely controlling his anger, he just asked a question why couldn't you just answer it.

"Yes we are still married we live in the same house,I'm still your husband i think i should kno-"

You cut him off with a laugh .."funny ,learn to act like a husband first then go around saying 'we're married I'm your HuSbAnd' " You imitate what he said.

"Are you doing all this just because you don't want to tell me who tf he was?"He says glaring at you angrily.

You scowl at him"You disgust me and he is a friend of mine and a very nice human being who dropped me off because it's late, unlike you who treats people like shit." "And the next time you talk to me like this I'll break your fkin face." You say through your gritted teeth,pointing a finger at him, slamming the door of your bedroom at his face.

"I don't treat all the people like shit it's just you"He shouts back pettily trying to have the last word.

But when he hears your sobs after a few minutes when he was passing by your room to go to the kitchen,he feels bad ..his heart stung ..he regrets whatever he said.

You hated each other's guts but he always tried not to take it too far ...because you were wronged just as much he was ...you both were put together in this against your wills ,you never wanted it .. He doesn't like to admit it but he has been getting soft for you,whenever he saw you smile or laugh,he found himself smiling unknowingly. And when you were being sweet to him, took efforts for him, made food for him,smiled at him, he forgot that he didn't want this marriage,he couldn't help himself when you were made to be loved and adored ..he started to like you and when he realised that ,him being him the most stubborn idiot, in his own spite he didn't want to prove his parents decision right and be happy in this marriage so he did what he thought would be the solution and pushed you away.

He shouldn't have gotten angry at you as soon as you got home ..you locked yourself in the room ,didn't even eat dinner. He leaves the bowl back in it's place, he can't get himself to eat after making you cry.

He decides it's better to stay away from you and give you space as much as possible..you wouldn't want to see him anyway.

In your room you are crying with your face down in the pillow lying on the bed.

You are so exhausted with all this, you just want your own peace and you can't even have that because of him ...why does he have to talk to you when you purposely stay away from him.

A partner is supposed to be your home, your comfort but all you've gotten in this 3 months is this hell.

In a world where you want to do nothing but hide in your Lovers arm at the end of the day and forget all the worries, you got more worries instead with the form of your husband. You tried your best to give this a chance,you were good to him,you took efforts but him..he never cared saying "you don't have to pretend to be a good wife, we both know we didn't want this so stop all this bullshit ..it disgusts me "

That was the first day you cried after the marriage..all your hopes of "No he can change later, may be he will open up to me he's not that bad of a person is he?" All that crushed down..you felt like a fool for being nice with him and trying to make it work ..so since that day you treated him like exactly how you should have.

There's nothing much to happiness in your life ..and the remaining bits of it, which your friends give you, you lose it all as soon as he behaves rudely with you that is almost everytime he talks to you.

Seungcheol is in his room trying to sleep but he can't because he keeps seeing your crying face since he heard you crying.. he thinks about it, about how you were the first one who took efforts to make this so called marriage of yours work, when it should have been him..atleast he should have treated you nicely like you deserved...but he just kept fuvking up and it got worse..to the point he thinks he made you cold took the warmth away from your eyes, he thinks about apolozing to you atleast about today but wonders if he even deserves to be forgiven by you..he feels awful and guilty to say the least.

The next day he decides to talk to you, goes to knock on the door of your bedroom in the morning and chickens out when he hears your footsteps..he goes straight to kitchen.

And before he has any chance to say anything to you, you go straight to main door already leaving for your work.

In the evening he goes early from work, setting up the take out he brought for both of you ..he goes to freshen up and waits for you ..he is sitting on the couch when you arrive...you were going straight for your room when he calls you.."Y/n wait"

You close your eyes trying to compose yourself ..."I'm so done with you seungcheol choose your words very wisely" You say very calmly, your back still facing him.

"I know I- can we talk please? I'm not going to argue I promise"

You sigh turning to face him, "ok..what is it?"

"I'm sorry ..for yesterday " there's a surprised look on your face because you never expected him to even know those words.

When you don't say anything he continues . "And for everyday till now" He says looking at you with a weird look in his eyes which you have never seen .

"What are you doing? Do you want anything ? Why are you saying this?" You ask looking at him in disbelief as if he told you the worst joke ever.

He shakes his head looking at you, "I don't have any other intention behind this ..I'm genuinely sorry ...I didn't mean to treat you like this ...I just i was angry with my parents ..and I took it out on you ...and I'm so sorry for that ..you didn't deserve it." .."I want to solve this ..whatever happened till now."

"I'm finding it very hard to believe all this, trust me I'm trying to ..but you've never talked to me like this..this nicely" You say still looking at him as if he's onto something may be he's pranking you but then his rude boring ass doesn't seem to even know fun.

He closes his eyes with a sigh,then he says "I know shit-..you know what don't forgive me yet I don't think I deserve it ..just I won't ask anything else from you but I want us to be atleast civil with each other and again I know it was all me, you were nice to me but please ..can we start fresh? Forget that we are married and all. We don't know anything about each other ..can we start with being friends?" He asks looking at you nervously.

You tilt your head giving him a small smile,"I tried to do exactly that seungcheol..you didn't want it ...you forgot that I was forced into this too but you didn't care..atleast I took the courage to mend this, I tried and you called it bullshit,pretending and what not ..told me to not do any of it, that it disgusts you...you made me feel like a complete fool for trying to save our marriage." You got teary eyed while saying all that and he again curses himself for being such a fcking idiot

"No it wasn't your fault I'm the fool not you..I'm the biggest idiot to ever exist.I was never angry at you.. it was my parents. I just couldn't deal with this situation properly ..but let me change that ..I'm exhausted too -"

You cut him off, "what changed? I mean I'm glad and all that you came to this realisation..but why?"

He's at loss of words, he's not sure if should say it when he just asked you to be friends .."I-uh ..do I have to?" He looks at you pleadingly as if saying 'don't make me say it please. '

"If you want me to actually believe you ..then yes." You shrug pressing your lips in a thin line. "Wait fuck is it because you saw seokmin dropping me off yesterday? What are you jealous or something? " You ask him your eyes comically widened,your nose scrunched in a light scowl.

His own eyes are wide as well"Noo it's not that" He says.

"Then?" You ask again.

His eyes soften somehow, "You didn't eat dinner yesterday,also you didn't eat breakfast today..I- I realised that my behavior affects you and I shouldn't make you go through all that ..I know I didn't deserve to be in a forced marriage but I knew that you didn't either ..it's not your fault and I made your life even more miserable ..shit now that I'm saying all this I'm so fcking sorry for being such an asshole... I'm not a bad person i swear you can ask anyone it's just ..I was blinded by my own rage my own pain that I couldn't see yours .."

He doesn't mention it but you know he might have heard you crying and then felt guilty may be. But you hope it's not just that and he genuinely wants to start fresh.

"I thought you'd never figure that out, but thank you I guess ..and you were right about that ..I can't forgive you that easily I hope you know that."

He nods at you," yes ..so- friends?" He asks awkwardly stretching his hand towards you.

You look at his hand and back at his face, giving him a crooked teasing smile. "Yeah..I'll think about it." And you turn towards your own room smiling to yourself.

He brings back his hand pushing it through his long black hair, turning around with his back towards your room, trying to stifle his own smile as he shakes his head. Ofcourse it's you after all savage as always.

"Also-" he turns to face you when You peek from the door of your room "I think you'll have to try a little harder Mr. Choi" You say narrowing your eyes,scrunching your nose a little.

He throws his both hands up saying "On it. I brought dinner for you please eat it with me?"

You go inside closing your door shut, shouting, "OKAYY". You smile to yourself because seeing this side of him is something you never thought you'll witness..and he's been looking at you all softly today since you stepped in..though you don't know that it isn't the first time. You still can't seem to wrap your head around it. Choi seungcheol finally realised that he's been an asshole and is finally treating you nicely. Unbelievable.

Masterlist

A/N: I hope you enjoy it. Will post in parts because it always gets so long :') I promise I'll try my best to post the other half in only one update😭

[bonkbobl]

happy to please

ROOSE BOLTON X READER

a/n: this is set before anything bad happens in the show, maybe like early season 1 or even before. i know in the books there was domeric and i considered mentioning ramsays kinslaying but decided to just go with the show, which, my impression is that domeric just never existed and ramsay grew up at the dreadfort being cared for by roose. this fic comes from the book quote about him growing fond of walda bc she actually liked sex with him and buddy never experienced the loving touch of a woman with his past two wives

summary: roose bolton had two wives before you. so he thought he knew what to expect during the bedding but nothing could have prepared him for those sweet little noises and the way you writhed

warning: smut!!! roose bolton is very awkward and not very romantic, forced marriage but once you see roose irl you're like oh... wait guys hes kind of hot nvm im down

It was high time the Lord of the Dreadfort took another wife to try for more heirs. A bastard born to a Millers Wife was hardly a suitable option. The goal-driven Lord Bolton wanted a speedy affair and not too much fuss about it. When word was sent out that the “Dreadlord” was seeking a hand in marriage, the response was not sparse.

Several offers to meet Northern Lords’ “most beautiful” daughters landed on Roose Boltons desk. But Roose didnt want the fuss that came with that. There was no need to fret about which girl was the most desireable, only which prospect bred the most advantage.

You came from a semi prominent house, a large advantage was the fact that you had no siblings to succeed you and your uncles were all bordering on geriatric. Because of this, your father was eager to broker a marriage between you and any Lord to start producing more options for the succession of your house — you came with a heavy dowry.

All negotiations occurred on paper and before you’d learn anything about your husband, your father has your servants packing your belongings up into carriages. You were on your way to the Dreadfort

Dreadful name for a castle, you thought to yourself. Perhaps that set the tone for the marriage. You should expect nothing but that —dread.

The entire journey, you did not utter a word to your father, so upset that he’d gone behind your back to do this. You had been stubborn, growing up. You’d met several Lords from minor houses through the years and you turned all of them away.

They weren't handsome enough, weren't noble enough, weren't gentle enough, weren't firm enough. That one was too loud, too annoying, to full of himself, not sure enough of himself, too meek, too weak. There was always something. But you were never forced to. Not until now.

Perhaps it was the fact that your father finally listened to the whispers of those around him, telling him that if he doesnt marry you off soon, no lord would want an old bride. You think thats most likely. Theres also the fact that House Bolton was an extremely powerful house, your liege lord for centuries. They stood only beneath the Starks and the Crown.

When you stepped down from the carriage to greet your husband to be, you steeled yourself. You didn't know what to expect. You knew he was around your father’s age, which wasn't exactly a comfort.

But you met his cold eyes, your expression softened considerably. Your father had grown plump with unkempt hair on his chin. It was patchy and uneasy to look upon. His hair was also receding quickly as the years passed.

The years were kinder to Lord Bolton.

Giving a curtsy, you surrendered to his examination of you, suddenly feeling nervous. You found yourself hoping he liked what he saw because well… Lord Bolton, you think, immediately appears to be, well, lordly. He looks physically fit, cleanshaven, intimidating features. His stare was hard on you, and you almost shied away thinking he was, in fact, unhappy with you, but glancing back, you realized that he may be one of those men with a permanent hardness to their stare.

You mainly hope he isn’t cruel to you.

Lord Bolton nodded, then spoke, “My lady.” Taking your hand and pressing a courteous kiss to it, he continued, “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

You swallowed, trying your best to keep your gaze even. His voice was so smooth and deep… The kind of voice that you’d want reading to you in the darkness at night.

He’s everything you think a man should be, in appearances. The boys who wanted your hand in marriage would stumble about their words and it was endearing in their own right, but here, under his lordly gaze, you felt more willing to you resign yourself under his protection.

“Happy to please you, my lord,” You said softly, curtsying.

Roose’s eyes looked you up and down for what felt like the millionth time but he couldn’t really help it. He hadn't expected you to be the beauty you were — that wasn’t why he was marrying you — but he got lucky, it seems. You were a shy thing, barely able to meet his eyes.

Roose looked at your father, standing far away from you, awkwardly staring out into the wind and avoiding engagement. It wasn't difficult for him to make out that perhaps you might be unhappy to be here. If theres anything he can recognize, its a tense familial atmosphere.

But he watched you smile and speak your courtesies, sweet and polite. Yes, you would do just fine. You were perfect, he’d even dare to say, he was delighted by you.

You would make him rich, and it seemed like you had enough understanding and commitment to duty to not make a fuss about anything that may be unpleasant to you. He just hopes you’re fertile so that he doesn’t have to pain you unnecessarily with too many attempts.

“I’d like you to meet my son, Ramsay,” He brought his son forward.

You smiled politely at him and allowed him to kiss your hand, “My lord, it’s lovely to meet you.” You hoped it didn’t show that you were a little wary of Ramsay. It was hard to ignore the rumors of the Bastard at the Dreadfort. But you’re happy that you are not to be his or his fathers enemy.

“As it is for me to make your acquaintance, my lady.”

Roose allowed a smile and began directing you to your handmaidens, who would lead you to your temporary room.

As far as first meetings go, it might have been awkward but it wasn’t completely unbearable. You’re grateful for it.

—————

When it came time to wed him, Roose made it clear that there was to be no bedding ceremony, and you let yourself relax, smiling to yourself gratefully. It was a tradition spreading all the way from the Wall to Dorne, but you really didnt know why. The thought of being stripped and groped by all the men in the room rained dread upon you.

Instead of being carried to your room by many men, you were led there by your husband, who you were growing more fond of in each moment. Sure you barely knew him, but he was handsome enough.

Not just handsome enough, you’d say that if there was to be a ball with all the Northern men and women, you would have stared at him in the corner of your eye all night hoping he’d approach you. He reminded you of those scenarios that you’d read about only in books.

He also seemed to be respectable and a gentleman, which comforts you greatly. The fact that he chose to forego the bedding was something you hadn’t expected but it certainly made you more amenable to whats to come.

It started sort of mechanically and passive. Your husband poured you a cup of wine for your nerves, and you exchanged some words about the ceremony and he watched you drink it.

Then when he deemed you relaxed enough Roose asked, “Did your septa teach you about what happens during bedding?”

You nodded, “My septa, yes. And I had read a book once that contained some details that she had left out, so I actually know more than many would assume,” You rambled out.

Roose tilted his head questioningly but gave an amused sigh and a nod.

It was true, you did read a lot. And one of those books included a scandalous romp between the main character, a man, and a whore. Your father found you reading that and burned the book but he couldn’t burn it out of your memory.

It was part of why you might have had such a high standard for the men who had approached for your hand. The men in the books were confident but not arrogant. They could please their women properly because they knew what they were doing but also knew to listen. They were powerful. Possessing a subtle dominance that was too nuanced for younger men to understand.

Roose exuded dominance. This brand of dominance.

It excited you just as much as the memory of those pages.

“Good,” He said, “Then I have little explaining that I must do.”

You watched him stand and offer his hand to you again and you took it, letting him help you up and to the bed.

Roose couldn’t really understand it, but he identified nerves stirring inside him at the thought of bedding you. Its been a long time since he’s taken any wife to bed and he is aware that most of the time, its only really pleasurable for men.

His past two wives would lay there, passive and unmoving, waiting for him to have his fill before quickly getting up to clean themselves.

He really intended to make this as easy for you as possible and wait a week to try again. After that, perhaps he’d take you every few days until you came to be with child. Ever methodical about everything, of course he thought of how to go about this.

Roose helped you with your dress, coming up behind to aid in unlacing it. Meanwhile, you busied yourself with taking out the pins that had been keeping your hair up.

You wanted to be comfortable, Roose was pleased to note. He was glad to know you were thinking of your comfort. Making this as easy as possible. You were a girl who understood what needed to be done, a good quality to have in a wife.

His past wives understood to an extent, as well, but not without at least a little bit of whining and whinging.

With your hair undone and your dress unlaced, you took it upon yourself to shrug it off your shoulders, letting the fabric fall to the floor. Roose watched you, gracefully doing your duty, a small smile coming to him.

You surprised him quite a bit, actually. Especially when you turned to him, a little shy about your exposure, but confident enough to pull him in by his collar and kiss him for the first time.

Your lips moved shyly against his, and Roose returned your gentleness. Each thing you did made him ever more curious about you. The two of you continued to mold your lips to each others as he worked on disrobing himself. He could sense the hesitation and curiosity behind your lips movements.

All the better. He'll let you do as you needed to feel more comfortable.

Very quickly, Roose had taken off all his clothes and the moment you realized your husband was bare and ready to finally take you, you parted from him. His eyes opened slowly to see you staring up at him with those big eyes and he held your gaze as you edged backward onto the bed, situating yourself at the edge of it. Then you laid yourself down, splayed out for him.

Roose watched you get ready for him, wondering what he did to score so lucky with such a sweet, innocent, eager little wife.

He pressed the tip of his length to your slit. The edges of your pussy lips were dry but as he moved the head of his cock through your folds, some moisture coated him. Roose paused because you mewled and turned your face to the side, eyes closed, hands bunching into fists in your sheets.

His cock twitched against you as he watched, something that hasnt happened since Roose was a teenager with his first wife.

It moved him to push inside. He watched your lips part with heavy breaths, eyebrows coming together as your breaths turned into soft whimpers. He had to pull out after a certain point and push back in, further. You whimpered, grasping the sheets harder.

Roose found himself completely and utterly hypnotized by you, watching your face, turned to the side, eyes pinched shut, gently chewing your bottom lip.

“You’re very reactive,” He muttered, catching your attention.

You turned back to look at him over your rising and falling chest and giggled, running your hand over your forehead, “Yeah, I… Nothing has ever been inside like this so... I’m reacting.” A coil in your stomach twisted as he pushed even deeper and your lips puckered, letting out an "Ooh..."

Roose chuckled at the first sign of a little bit of sass in his wife, amused at your playfulness during what most would deem to be a serious moment. Roose typically disliked those who cracked unnecessary jokes in inappropriate moments, but somehow it seemed appropriate in this moment.

Your hand came down to grab his and you guided it to your thigh. You felt your husband bottom out inside you after not too much struggle or pain and you laid there happily. You were happy to take his gentle thrusts. Your cunt grew wetter and sloppier as he fucked you.

He filled you well, and it felt good to be full like this. You wanted him to touch you… You wanted him to move more. Faster, harder. You just wanted more of him.

You breathed a heavy sigh, squeezing around him, trying to coax him into moving in you.

“Roose,” You whined, squirming beneath him. Your legs came to wrap around him and guide his movements in you.

Your husband gasped at your shameless neediness, responding quickly to your coaxing movements. You felt like heaven, squeezing so tight around him. But it wasn’t just the pure sensation of a cunt enveloping him it was the fact that your heel remained pressed against his lower back, pulling him toward you. It was the fact that little whimpers kept tumbling out of you, meanwhile you hid your face as if you couldn’t keep them in. It was his name, falling from your lips, in between the whimpers.

And then you whimpered, “Harder.”

An appreciative hum rumbled in Roose's chest, his eyes focusing even harder on you. You shuddered to look at him. His smolder could easily be mistaken for a glare and you'd hate to be a man in any other situation, on the receiving end of such a look.

Here, it just made you more excited.

You cried a loud, unrestrained moan when he gave a sharp thrust, his cock angled upward and hitting a deep spot within you. When his cock touched that spot, it felt as if a little burst of pleasure had come from it and melted into the rest of your body, the coil in your tummy tightening deliciously.

His pace slowly increased, as did your pleasure. You writhed beneath him... At times it almost felt like pleasure was too much, like you were about to tip off some edge, and you had no idea what could be found once you made it over that edge other than just even more, blinding pleasure. You didn't even know if you could take it.

But you had nowhere to run. So if you had to find out what was waiting for you over that edge, so be it. You fought to hold your legs open as much as possible but your thighs would sometimes beg to close, unused to the intense stimulation. And most of the time, you kept your eyes closed and your face turned to the side.

Roose stared down at you, burying himself in you over. And over. Watching as each time you had to succumb and give yourself away to the sensations. It sparked something primal inside him, and truly for the first time he felt an animal-like instinct that often came to be the failing of many great, even-minded men.

He felt lust. Inspired by the image of your body tightening and twitching as he plunged himself deep into you.

Grabbing your waist, he fucked you faster, snapping his hips at a faster speed while he used his strength to pull your pliant body into his.

It wracked your body from head to toe, a long, loud whine, pulled from your throat, enunciated by each meeting of his balls against your ass. Your hands shot up to grasp to anything you could find on the bed but all it found were more sheets. You buried your face in the soft flesh of your arms.

Roose slowed and gave you some hard, defined thrusts, grunting as he did so. You cried out each time and then managed to blink your eyes open and look at him, eyebrows still knitted together, hair a tangled mess under you, and your lips red and wet from your chewing on them all the time.

And then your husband rediscovered the energy to plow into you again.

You held your tits this time, to keep them from bouncing uncomfortably.

He growled, adjusting so that your legs were put over his shoulder before continuing. That felt amazing. But even more amazing was that he decided it wasn't enough, climbing on the bed and pushing you further up on it. He maneuvered his leg, planting a foot next to your side.

That. That had you crying out, damn near sobbing. At least, you wouldn't be surprised if anyone passed your room and mistook it for that.

Soon your body was twitching uncontrollably under him and Roose was sighing loudly, shocked by just how tight your cunt was gripping onto him. Your moans grew weaker and breathier and your body tensed to a peak before you seemingly began to come down from it.

Your breaths remained heavy as you attempted to catch yourself, small aftershocks of convulsions and shaking taking you. He was still fucking you just as hard and your body was oversensitive to the stimulation.

But thankfully you didn't have to endure the pleasurable torture too much longer. Roose released you with a few hard thrusts and deep groans.

He stilled in you and dropped his head in exhaustion, staying buried deep inside, as he attempted to catch his breath and recover and you stared at him, also trying to catch up with yourself.

You lowered your legs to the side though and in the process, his penis slipped out of you, quickly softening. You don't know what possessed you to do so, because there was really no need to, but you brought a hand up to your husbands face and moved it so you could stare into his eyes.

His soft, exhausted eyes met you, the strong hardened exterior that you saw on him at your first meeting, melted off.

Cautiously, you closed the distance, molding your lips to his again.

Roose kissed back fervently this time, no longer hesitant and letting you take the lead. His domineering hand coming behind to cradle your face.

Your eagerness had surprised him in the beginning. But once he'd entered you, it was as if a switch had turned on for both of you. He'd expected you to bravely take on the duty that all women had to endure but he'd never expected you to take to it so well, craving more, wanting him.

Roose had never been the type of man to think about, much less want to be wanted. But his cock nearly twitched back to life, remembering. You pulled him in with your legs, asked him to fuck you harder, you came, and even afterwards, you wanted more.

When your lips finally parted, he stared, evaluating you with a new lense, a lense of true fondness. It was something that — Roose wouldn't ever dare say out loud but — it was something that could even develop into something deeper than a vague fondness or physical attraction. Something like love.

You pressed one last chaste kiss to him and smiled widely, asking, "Is that what every night will be like?" You asked, "If so I think you'll make me a very happy lady."

Roose couldn't think of a proper, clearly worded answer, so he just pressed his lips to yours again, hungrily. A very happy lady indeed. And he'll be happy to see you happy.

[crackedhrglass]

i was asked another question on my strawpage that i felt needed a meta to properly explain my feelings, so i'm putting it here. i apologize if it gets rambly and isn't entirely coherent lol.

ford, to me, is selfish, blinded by his own obsession with global recognition, and morally questionable at times (moreso than stan) but not an outright bad person.

i think he's an overall good person with an extremely skewed worldview. he's def not bad compared to people like gideon, preston northwest, or even his own dad, but his motivations are morally ambiguous and he tends to put his own selfish obsession with global recognition, fame, and glory over the feelings and safety of those closest to him.

an argument could be made that much of his behavior can be attributed to trauma and his upbringing (his deformity, his relationship with filbrick, his social ineptitude, his fallout with stan, his violent physical & psychological abuse at the hands of bill, his experiences while dimension-hopping), though that by no means excuses it, nor is it justified. in fact, i think fans who aggressively defend ford's objectively toxic and selfish behavior with "he's been through a lot!! he's traumatized!" do his character arc a huge disservice.

ford wasnt just a scientist that was obsessed with answers for the sheer sake of knowledge and betterment of humanity—he specifically wanted to be PRAISED and officially recognized for his findings, he wanted to be added to history books, he wanted people to know HE was the one who made those discoveries, which is what makes his treatment of fiddleford during their partnership so abhorrent IMO.

he refused to destroy the portal (despite nearly losing his friend and lab partner to it) and likewise refused to simply burn/destroy his journals, both instances bc of his own stubborn pride, not bc of some noble desire to benefit mankind (or save someone ELSE, like in stan's case for restarting the portal).

whether intentional or not, he projected his own feelings and relationship with stan so harshly onto dipper that he was the indirect catalyst for their fallout in DAMVTF.

ford did more than simply offer dipper an apprentice position. he planted the seed in dipper's mind that mabel was suffocating and holding him back (despite barely knowing them or their unique relationship), because that's how he viewed stan.

he didnt just suspect that there may be potential fallout between them, he fully anticipated it, yet still thought he was doing dipper a favor by driving a wedge between them. he couldnt see past his own bitterness towards stan and ended up pressuring an impressionable 12-year-old to make a life-changing decision, one that also drove mabel right into bill's trap.

the lesson ford was meant to learn at the end of weirdmageddon was that he is NOT the selfless, noble hero he always envisioned himself as. he was a closed-off, arrogant loner who let his delusional perception of himself and who he wanted to be push everyone who mattered away and make it easy for bill to use him for his own evil purposes. ford was so stuck in this headspace that he needed a literal apocalypse and losing the one person who never stopped loving him unconditionally for him to finally pull his head out of his ass and change.

stan was the hero ford always imagined he was destined to be.

yet, despite ALL of this, there was a repressed part of him buried deeep, DEEEEP down that still held stan and their childhood close to his chest throughout his entire life. he wrote about stan in his journal constantly, he wrote that he missed him in college using their bro code (meaning he didnt want fidds to know about stan and he wrote it solely for himself), he saved a polaroid of stan in his journal and memorized his business phone number, and of course, he kept that childhood photo LITERALLY next to his heart throughout all his travels.

this is more headcanon-ish than actual canon, but i feel like ford felt angry at himself for never being able to fully leave stan behind, despite how much he "wanted" to, or how much he believed he SHOULD'VE wanted to. after all, stan was the one who sabatoged ford's future. he's the one who ruined everything between them, yet here ford was, still missing him and having second thoughts about shutting him out of his life, which only made him want to shut stan out even more.

his father and principal instilled in him that stan was a worthless fuck-up that only rode his coattails and held him back.

bill, his muse, the sun in his galaxy, tried to convince him to forget about stan and their past.

and ford tried.

but he couldn't.

even at his most resentful, even when he was fighting god-knows-what in multiple dimensions for THIRTY YEARS, he never let go of that photo. and i think that alone speaks volumes about his character.

[trashbag-usa]

it feels like a lot of people have given up on fully connecting ISWM/Engie Mark to the wider lore (aka WKM) since IRL Mark straight up told us he wasn't Actor.

but not only am i a stubborn son of a bitch, but yknow what Mark also said?

"Engineer Mark isn't Actor Mark, but Actor Mark just might be Engineer Mark."

so hear me out, y'all.

preamble; if you saw this in a yt comment section, no you didn't. (that was also me i didnt steal this i prommy-)

i have this entirely insane theory about iswm that Engineer Mark is actually Damien, but only sometimes.

the most obvious places i can spot him is in the abandoned ship with the candles ("captain needs their sleep" and whatnot), as Old Mark (specifically in the empty diner), and most definitely as the "Mark" we see as part of the finale, the one who realizes he was wrong.

Actor is allergic to admitting fault so I Don't Believe That's Him.

this explains the thematic focus on sleep and rest in these scenes, things told to Damien and told to US by DARK several times.

("Don't remember" anyone?)

speaking of Dark, it explains why he isn't there. we DO however see the suspiciously Darkiplier-esqe Ms. Whitacre, which it isn't controversial to say atp is CLEARLY Celine.

that is, until the universe does its final kablooey and Dark as we know him, Damien attributes and all, comes to take the warp-crystal.

and besides, think about it.

given Actor's whole goal in all this, as laid out in the Damien Project, do you REALLY think he would write a story in which all problems arise from HIS OWN NEGLIGENCE? NO!

that would make him a villain, and all he ever wants is to be portrayed as the hero, literally for eternity!

but you know what i think he would do? set up a farce for the most troublesome of his "co-stars".

you, the viewer, want genuine choices? you want to have some real control over the story? some responsibility? FINE.

everyone looks to you, but under your leadership everything goes wrong, no matter what. you don't know why, but you're actively villinized and the harder you try to go back and fix things, achieve an "ending" on your own, the more people HATE you. the more the thought that maybe there IS something wrong with you specifically will stick in your mind as a possibility.

all these options, but none of them "right", creating MORE suffering instead of fixing it just to find that ever elusive end.

damien wants control of the narrative? he wants his old friend, you, the District Attorney to be released from his eternal story and given back to him? FINE.

here's his role back in earnest, given the possibility to engage and choose instead of intrude and twist like usual.

(yes, i do think Damien/Engineer is genuinely going down his own hopeless path while we find our own. in one of the descriptions leading to the final "Hold On/Let Go" confrontation, it says "you're not the only one making choices. you're not alone, you never were".)

he is allowed to fight for the safety of others, side by side with his closest companion, just as they did when they were alive.

BUT, the twist is Damien becomes a genuine villain. in his quest to do the altruistic thing and help at all cost, he is personally responsible for the death of LITERALLY EVERYONE EVER.

this is a personal hell for someone like Damien, as seen from WKM, all he ever seemed to want was help others and guide them towards peace.

for his actions/leadership to fail so unthinkably catastrophically, seems like the exact hell a bitter Actor would want to subject his "old friend" to for meddling. :/

Actor sets the stage for a theatrical punishment game. Mayor and Attorney, together again, taking an impossibly long stay in a personally crafted hell for the horrendous crime of ever even thinking they'd be worthy of ✨️staring roles✨️.

Actor turns you two against each other, and once Damien is brough down to the depths of despair and you have finally learned that true responsibility can lead to catastrophic, painful results, we're brought back to our proper places.

you go to a proper ending, with the Engineer role now being played by Actor once and for all, and Damien once again becomes part of Darkiplier, pocketing the warp-crystal to plant on the box in Heist.

Engineer isn't Actor, it's a role he plays when it suits him and his goals, to make his enemies suffer. he's willing to be Damien's understudy, if only for this purpose.

but at the end of the journey, Actor becomes Engineer to take in the fruits of his labor. ..and maybe invite you to a Heist while he's at it.

BUT HEY, THAT'S JUST A

very long winded """theory""" that is pretty much only insane fanfiction-

[bugboysgf]

Jealousy,Jealousy Pt.2

AN: Okay so like, i'm sorry for disappearing but i promised myself this year i would write more, so i swear i won't take another three months to write again. I saw someone ask for part two so enjoy :)     ( I wrote this in like 40 mins so sorry for all the errors.)

summary: Peter likes Liz, but you can't shake this feeling that he might feel something for you. (repost)

Peter knew what he did was wrong and he wanted to fix it but he didnt know how. You were a  stubborn person .He couldn't have gone to Ned for help because everytime Ned gave him advice. It always backfires so he was going to say the only girl that wasn’t mad at him for advice.

Peter walked into the living room feeling super tired, all night he was wondering how he could make it up to you.

“Hey peter, your up early.” May said as Peter sat down at the table. “You want some coffee?”

“Yes please,” Peter said in a tired voice. May smiled at him and grabbed a cup from out of the cabinet. 

“You're never up this early, what's going on?” she said putting the mug down.

Peter takes a long sip and shakes his head “nothing”

She gave him a ‘Yea sure” look “Come on peter i know you..what's up.”

Peter didn't know how to explain what happened but he knew that may was the only girl that could help him. “ I messed up at the party.”

“Did you get into a fight?” May asked. 

“No, like with a girl,” Peter explains. 

“With Liz? Listen Peter i don't really like her she gives me bad v-”

“No not with Liz!”  He cuts her off  “with y/n.” 

“Y/n? What did you do Peter” May says in a worried tone, she liked you so the idea of him messing up with you caused her to worry. 

“I kissed Liz infront of her.” Peter grits his teeth out of a cringe . He hates thinking about how dirty he did you. He wishes he could go back and change everything.

“Why on earth did you do that? You told me you liked her.” “I do” peter defend himself “but it was a dare, i was asked to kiss the prettiest girl in the room and i choose liz because what if y/n didn't like me, then i would have lost a friend that night.” he explains 

“Come on Peter, I told you she likes you it's so obvious , go to school and fix the mess you caused.”

“But how?”

“Figure it out!” May wanted to help him but he had to learn how to deal with this on his own.

—

You knew that you had to face Peter but you didn't want to. The whole weekend ,every time you thought about Friday night, it brought you to tears. You didn't know why though, it could've been the fact that your crush kissed the girl that you despise in front of you or because you were so vulnerable with Peter, you cried to him and it was something that you've never done before. And for him to just sit there and look at you without saying a word made it worse.

“Hey” Mj said to you as you guys walked into school.

“Oh hi, what's up?” you said without a care in the world, you didn't want her to know that you were hurting from what happened but to her it was all written over your face.

“Oh well i don't know… you tell me” she said in a sarcastic tone “texted you all weekend with no response. You left the party without saying bye.” “It's not like you don't have my location, you knew where I was.” you rolled your eyes.

“Come on y/n i know what Peter did is bothering you.” she said, turning her  unlock to her locker.

“Well of course it is like-” you opened your locker and a rose and card fell out. You look at Mj “what the hell?” you say confused you pick up the rose and card from off the floor. “Im sorry please forgive me- peter” you read the note out loud.

You look in the way that Peter's locker is in just to catch him staring at you with a smile on his face. You gave him a forced smile and started to walk up to him.

“Yes the plan worked.” he says to himself still smiling, his smile dropped when he watched you walk right past him and throw the rose and card in the trash. Maybe his plan didn't work after all

—

You managed to make it to lunch and avoid talking to Peter, you had mostly every class with him so that was impressive on your part. Now it was time for lunch. Mj had electives so she couldn't join you so you sat alone, most of your friends had their own little group but now that you weren't talking to Peter the group was disconnected you knew Ned was going to take his best friend's side even if he was wrong.

Peter saw you sitting alone, he could tell something was bothering you and he knew it was his fault. Every second that he went without talking to you seemed like torture and he had to fix it. He didn't care if you shooed him away because he would just try again. He excused himself at the table he was sitting at and made his way over to your table.

You were so out of it that you didn't even see him approaching you. He sat down and you looked at him with a dull expression on your face. It made him question if he should be even doing this. 

“Please forgive me” you looked at him and didn't say a word. “I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you.”

“You didn't” you say.

“I didn't?.” peter says relieved

“No, like I said before you just made everything clear. I was just blind i see.”  you said. Peter didn't say a word. “See you didnt change! You're doing the same silent thing you did at the party.”

Every second Peter goes with saying a word, he can feel you slipping away but it couldn't form the words to even explain how sorry he felt.

“I'm going to go,” you say, rolling your eyes. 

“I like you” he blurts out.

“What?” you said.

“I like you.” he says again without hesitation.

“No,” you shake your head. “You like Liz.”

“I- i don't…i like you.”

“You don't have to say that to make me feel better….What about the other girl?” it was hard for you to believe what peter was saying, yes you wanted him to like you but why couldn't he just have told you at the party.

“The other girl was you. I chose to like Liz because I thought there was no way you could have liked me, then at the party you confessed to liking me so ....”

“Oh” was all you could say, you smiled to yourself taking in the information that Peter just told you. “Are you sure?” you wanted to make sure you aren't dreaming.

“Yes, I'm sure,” he says, smiling. “Do you forgive me?” 

“Only if you forgive me for acting weird.”

“Of course…do you think it's too soon to ask you on a date?”

“No, never too soon” you laughed 

“Okay… so olive garden after school?” he asked.

“How could  I say no to the olive garden?”

Request are open!

[mononijikayu]

hello 🥰 ive been following you and reading your works for a while and i think it's really cool how you can produce so many good quality fics so quickly. your readers are very very lucky ! how long does it usually take for you to finish your works? i would love to learn more about your process ! 🌷

hello hello!!! 🫶

i think it sort of helps that i dont sleep that much or very well and that im an irregular student in uni

i also think another factor is that my mind has ideas a lot. most of the time i sit down and think when im at a park before class and i type out a rough plot draft then i make it as soon as possible

because as fast as thoughts come, they go away too fast too. so i rush!!! which is why i make mistakes often!!! i just come back and correct myself!!!

it also helps that i type really fast. i used type out my notes in my undergrad and even now in my higher educ school days. so i think that's another factor!!! i write both on my phone and my computer (which is whyyyyyyy i have drafts everywhere and i get scolded for not paying attention to people im around when i have an idea 🥲🥲🥲)

making short drabbles or smth like say immortal sukuna, it takes me around an hour or so (the formatting is the hard part 🥲🥲🥲)

and say if im doing something in long format like 3 to 5k, it may take 3 to 4 hours, depending on my brain and my energy. 10k and beyond takes longer — but i try to get it done the same day after a break or tomorrow if i have time.

ashes of love, i got crazy writing about it because i could picture everything easily in my head. so i rushed writing it just to crank out the image i had in my head. because im frightened it would disappear and i'd just lose the vision!!!

but on days i dont update (like during exams) i already have something planned in advice, like a draft i didnt like and i feel like is good enough (a great example would be 'love me back—megumi fushiguro, i liked it but i didnt 'love' it you know???); i publish those to buy myself time.

usually its because im stubborn. i dont like leaving things not done and i wanna be a fan of my work too, so i wanna read it to see if its good enough.

so i have to finish it and give it to everyone to enjoy with me. so even if i only like it, i wanna put it in the world too. i think ill grow to love more than i just do now one day!!!

though, im not immune to being lazy. i think i still havent finished a lot of stuff and i have to rewrite them when i have more time. but i genuinely forget sometimes and i come back, reread and do it again. so it makes me unproductive too.

but writing is a destressing tactic to me and im crazy about it because its a way to find some peace of mind. so ill do it aa much as i can to be sane as much as possible.

tldr — i dont sleep that much, i have more time at times cause irregular school days, im stubborn, i chase my ideas like its the F1 and its a problem but also my sanity!!!

i'm sorry this is long reply, im a big yapper but all this changes depending on what happens and how i am (im also sickly sometimes BUT ideas dont stop even when im sick so i also write too) 😭🫶

(also please dont do this to yourselves, it causes a lot of back pain and cramps too. i sit far too much trying to finish ideas and its BAD. please do it in your pace too and make sure to keep your health first 🥹🫶)

[vanana-r0tat3]

some pre-game batim headcanons :>

Henry: - all he does is eat hot chip be bisexual and lie /j - has a preference for women so i think him realizing hes not straight is like hey wait a minute hey wait wait - joey was his gay awakening,,, real -gets burnout super easy, it probably frustrates him a lot when he cant draw - drawing is a big comfort for him - has pretty bad social anxiety, but has become pretty good at dealing with it!

Joey: - gay. this man is not into women at all sorry 💀 "i just dont have time for girls" yeah sure fruitcake - watch me project once again and give this man bpd. like im sorry his whole thing with henry?? im not even explaining it but if you get it you get it yea - also definitely has adhd - wheelchair user !! he is able to walk, but he still needs the wheelchair when flare ups get real bad. he is stubborn though and refuses to use it at work or when hes out of the house

more under the cut !!

Wally: - he has adhd, obviously - transgender !! i feel like hes a gnc binary trans man - hes straight to me, but his gf/wife is also trans >:D t4t win - i feel like he likes to gossip. the thought of him, norman, shawn, maybe even jack whispering to eachother in a corner about some random secrets theyve overheard is super funny to me

Sammy: - AUTISM... hes autistic - gets overwhelmed and overstimulated super easily, hence why hes always so irritable - yknow what im giving him bipolar. hes my comfort character and i get to project my mental illness !! - hes gay and demiromantic - honestly? transfem i see it. bc like im thinking about how he talks about susies singing like. i know what you are - bad with boundaries.. he is so bad at them and reading social cues - hates being touched, probably is only comfortable with jack for the most part - watch him crush on like half the men mentioned in this post at least once

Norman: - hes also autistic. his sense of humor is so??? 😭 - HES ALSO DEFINITELY AN OLDER GAY GUY. he just has that energy yknow like if you agree - probably would be agender too - him and sammy are that incompatible type of autism havers does this make sense?? like some autistic people i just cant stand because of my autism, our places on the spectrum make it so hard to like them yk? thats norman and sammy - this man definitely has insomnia

Susie: - lesbian. she doesnt know it yet but she is - her calling sammy handsome isnt her being attracted to him its just gender envy 😁 - shes just a feminine transmasc 👍 - rejection sensitive dysphoria out the ASS my poor girl - very insecure deep down, so she overcompensates for it by trying to be a people pleaser n stuff

Allison: - shes bisexual !! has a strong preference for women - shes a trans woman idc idc i love her - AUTISTIC AS HELL - i imagine she had a sibling like relationship with joey - probably one of the few people that could tell him off without like. getting fired lol

Buddy: - adhd and autism,, special intrest in art/drawing - AROACE. the stuff he says about his friendship with dot?? "i didnt know we could just be friends" and him not being too into his first assumption when she pulls him away to show him the bendyland model?? yea - honestly i think he has social anxiety hes doing his best - hes very sensitive over people bringing up him being jewish, he seems so ready to be made fun of or scorned for it :( - definitely some cultural detachment because of it (im projecting again) - i think dot would wanna learn about about it, buddy should teach her stuff!! like traditions and whatnot

Tom: - asexual 👍 - TRANSGENDER. probably would be nonbinary, heavily masc leaning though - he smokes a lot have you heard this man good lord. i dont think allison is a fan of it - anger issues,, mostly caused by stress and a lack of sleep, hes trying his best :( - he has arthritis. hes not old but god do his joints fee like it. he has crutches !! like joey though he only really uses em at home 💀

Jack: - wheelchair user jack my BELOVED idk where the hc came from but im all for it - he cant walk, but is able to get around just fine! watch him try and do wheelies to impress sammy only to almost fall over - 100% autistic as well. him and sammy are able to be autism together - unlabeled aromantic - hes such a loser /loving

Grant: - poor guy gets chronic headaches someone give him some painkillers - hes got generalized anxiety disorder this man cannot get a break - demisexual and demiromantic,, mans is double demi

Shawn: - adhdtism 😭 - LOVES to talk, he could go on for hours dude - i feel like he knows a lot of ridiculously obscure knowledge. for why? dont worry about it - he gives me genderfluid vibes - literally just some guy

[kiwibongos]

im back thinking again. regarding my last post with how i interpreted ibuki and fuyuhiko's friendship im heavily thinking abt him and hiyoko. hiyoko more specifically tbh. its hiyoko appreciation time. will contain spoilers

imo she should have lived. also tbh kazuichi shouldve died, not her. thats a whole other sauce tho (again) but like. i feel like hiyoko deserved to survive way more, in general. her potential was really there man

i used to hate hiyoko, i still kind of dislike her in a certain way but its because all of that points blame to the writers of sdr2, for the god awful pacing they thought was good, and how they just didn't really bother to show a lot of growth from her before her time was wrapped up? i enjoy how she was the mean character bc there's always gotta be That One Bitch, but i really would've loved for her to survive, for her to heal and live on for mahiru and even to grow close with fuyuhiko, ibuki, hajime and sonia, and she would perhaps even express sadness towards ibuki and mikan's deaths

its like everything that had happened in the game, and all the time they spent focused on hiyoko and what she was going through just went to waste, and they spent the rest on weaker material or scenes. hiyoko should have been given the same character arc fuyuhiko lived to see. and both of them have so much in common already, they'd make a pretty good duo. e.g., they both lost someone they loved (mahiru & peko), they're both mean, stubborn, and quippy but secretly soft around the right people, also hello they literally look related anyway ... the blonde hair and the rosy cheeks . come on. someone on spike chunsoft saw them. but it didnt work out. anyway i feel like they would bond amazingly, albeit very slowly, but they're definitely the duo to just gossip all the time about other people LOL, and fuyuhiko would try to comfort her as well, because he's lost two people

hiyoko wouldn't just easily forgive him of course, i dont think she ever could, hence why i emphasized they'd slowly bond because the tension would be agonizing. she was furious, and still mourning mahiru when she had just died, but she would at least understand him and grow to accept his company and genuine kindness overtime (and she had almost seemed to near the very end??). if she lived to see his genuine growth and saw that he actually cared and that he would do anything to make it up to her, she'd be way less cautious of him. and she'd realize that the fact that they're both stuck on an island in a killing game, and fuyuhiko genuinely seems to be the only one who seems to bother, and the only one who actually sees her. so if not him, who else does she really have, you know. at least, at that moment

afterwards, hiyoko would just calm down and be more cooperative and helpful overtime, she's not dumb at all and she knows what to say, though she might butt her head in at the worst times, she also doesn't put up with bullshit, the same way sonia doesn't, they both act thoroughly bc they're smart. she'd also be really helpful in the trials tbh, i think she'd be the kind to spot out little details

later on she'd have sonia and hajime to support her too! someone has to help her with her kimono.... fuck it they'd all collectively just tolerate her but also encourage her. compared to fuyuhiko she hadn't really done anything bad, she was just hurt. she just needs someone, now that her own someone was gone

of course id love if she stayed hotheaded but just not call everyone a skank or a pig every two seconds, keep her mean side i love a bad bitch, she just wouldn't have kept that mask up, and she'd learn like, "Oh Shit, these people are all i have, and i need them". if she stuck around, hiyoko wouldve been such a good help as a survivor. and just generally more interesting to see, she woulda stuck out to me more in general. wouldve LOVED to see her shine in chapter three, or the final two chapters

hiyoko fans please rise with me. i love her and her dumb pigtails. tldr im MAD she didn't get her redemption like she deserved she was so cool despite also being nasty but she had a CHANCE dude the potential was shining bright in front of our eyes

[natsmagi]

tbh maybe this is a hot take but i really dont get why people insist on having one person in natsumugi be this Super Toxic one and the other a victim. the easiest conclusion to draw is natsume being the bad guy and tsumugi the victim due to natsume getting physical and berating him at times but far too commonly do i see people insist that its the other way around and that tsumugi is actually the super toxic one and natsume just lets tsumugi emotionally manipulate him and thats ?? so weird to me ??? both of these are so weird to me ???

i can ofc see where theyre coming from. both natsume and tsumugi have plenty of issues going on in their heads. i feel like natsumes situation is more commonly understood as him simply just being difficult though and not being the best at managing his emotions, and with tsumugi i get it because he doesnt really have much of a moral compass. he doesnt quite understand peoples feelings and it results in him doing pretty fucked up things at times, but to then frame him as someone who would be abusive?? that doesnt sit right with me

tsumugi may not understand peoples emotions and be apathetic to the struggles people are going through, but its clear to anyone that that man has good intentions at the end of the day. at WORST he may get overbearingly controlling, but its never in a "you cant do x y z" way, its in a "i signed us up for this job opportunity because i thought it sounded nice and didnt speak it through with you beforehand and now we have to do it" way. had this been 2nd year tsumugi maybe he wouldve been far more desperate and even manipulative to an extent because he was in such a dark place, but current day tsumugi is actively trying to understand people better. hes trying to learn how to feel. in wonder game he even outright said that natsume taught him pain and everything else. his growth is clear

i cannot see tsumugi taking advantage of natsume in a genuinely destructive way with modern day ntmg. again, maybe during the earlier !-era stuff he could be more destructive, but natsume also does a relatively good job keeping tsumugi in his place during that time too, with him getting physical and all. its only in !!-era where tsumugi doesnt really mind it and can even make playful jokes about it because theyve Had this development in their relationship. theyve moved Past many of their toxic attributes, and theyve finally grown to understand one another. this is also when tsumugi can have a more "dominating" role in their relationship, since natsume has come to trust him to this extent, but tsumugi wouldnt take advantage of that. again; theyve now grown very close and understanding of one another. theyll have banters such as tsumugi wanting natsume to do something like idk. wear a dress. to which natsume will reply with kys but again. in !!-era this is banter and tsumugi wouldnt actually force natsume to do something he doesnt want to. theyre just very comfortable with each other now

i also really hate the position natsume gets put in with all of this. so often he is already hyperfeminized by the fandom for no reason whatsoever (which is especially fucked up considering how much he canonically hates being seen as a girl), and by making tsumugi this manipulative and abusive partner youre stripping natsume of even more autonomy and framing him as powerless. naively in love with a man thats hurting him. and that doesnt sit right with me either!! natsume does have a big heart and he has endured more than he probably should, but to think natsume would just take it ??? natsume has BACKBONE. if tsumugi upsets him he will either 1. get really mad at him or 2. start ignoring tsumugi alltogether. hes not just gonna put up with it. and tsumugi will notice this change in demeanor. ask if hes done something wrong. he may not understand what it was he did but he never intends on hurting natsume and would genuinely want to resolve it. tsumugi isnt stubborn in this regard, if he fucks up he wants to fix it. and natsume isnt a damsel in distress, why do you want him to be a helpless maiden so bad ??

theres alot of nuance to all of this and im obviously not gonna tackle every single element of their relationship and this is just an overview but TL;DR ntmg are both awful and have many faults and their relationship has gotten incredibly unhealthy at times but the point is theyre growing PAST that. maybe sometimes these toxic traits of theirs will resurface, but that does not make one the abuser and the other the victim. theyre just two fucked up people in love, standing as equals and learning to understand one another. stop framing one as evil

[justabeewithapen]

:0 if you have ideas for a maskless hero drawing then i want to see it! but if not then what would the others reactions be if they see him without the mask(considering TLQ didnt know that it was a mask i think the others would have the same idea except for contrarian)?

I AM SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG!! I had these grand visions of drawing all of them, then that task was so daunting I kept pushing this back. I didn't draw everyone, but I did draw the most important one. Firstly, the list of people who knew Hero's helmet wasn't his face: Smitten - While a peaceful creature himself (unless righteous justice is needed) Smitten has seen the after-math of other employees from less kindly monsters. His first and only concern when seeing Hero was fixing that man's horrible haircut. No one knows how he learned to cut hair considering his head is a skull, but I don't think anyone is brave enough to ask. Cold - One of the less peaceful monsters, he's blown a few heads off employees before and has picked up on helmets because of how they shatter. He thinks they're more like some sort of artificial shell employees wear for protection like they do the nutcracker body, and they're not far off! Cold would mock Hero for willingly leaving his protective casing and then would be tackled by TLQ as he loads his shotgun Contrarian - Being a masked they obviously know how people work. If he ran into Hero without his helmet he wouldn't be too different. Assuming Hero lets them, they would be far more touchy-feely and grabby, and more of that 'blood' substance might leak from their face on instinct. They wouldn't convert him, but it would be more obvious the urge is there. Skeptic - While he can't see he has pieced together from the way Hero talks that he wears something over his face. Skeptic envisions it more like a carapace situation like bugs, physically apart of Hero and hiding the squishy undersides. If Hero allowed (he would but he would be very anxious) I think Skeptic would want to sniff and feel Hero's face with his own to get an idea of it. He would also probably suggest Hero get his hair preened by Cheated because he is very good at it. Stubborn - Stubborn has eaten a lot more employees than Hero would be comfortable knowing about. It doesn't make any difference to Stubborn, but he would make fun of Hero's "baby face" because he doesn't have any scars. Secondly, people who did not know the helmet came off: Broken - Broken is always very touchy-feely when interacting with Hero. Because his acid is so light Hero's suit is perfectly capable of resisting it for pretty long periods of time. The same does not apply to skin however. Broken would probably try and climb up Hero like it normally does, only to be startled out when Hero freaks out because their goop burns on skin. They would """"run"""" off to mope until Hero finds them to promise there aren't any hard feelings. Cheated - Like Stubborn he immediately comments on Hero's lack of scars. While startled to find out the helmet wasn't Hero's face, Cheated is pretty quick to accept that fact and move on. He would offer to preen Hero's hair and would actually be more comfortable around Hero. Having a face to read emotions off of makes him more comfortable, even though Hero normally has a very expressive voice. Hunted - Hunted already has fairly bad eyesight, so the only thing this changes for him is that it is slightly easier to separate Hero's head from the background of facilities. Normally Hunted stares at Hero's chest when they talk because his bright green suit is a good spot to focus on. The thought Hero also has an exoskeleton is easy to understand, but Hunted would be freaked out at the idea Hero is putting back on his old 'molts' instead of moving to new ones!! Do you want to be less protected squishy friend???? Opportunist - Similar to Hunted it is not hard for him to accept that Hero has an exoskeleton. He is less caught up on the removable aspect, but he is suddenly very interested in the helmet itself. There is no way he didn't try and steal it at least once... or twice. Paranoid - Very much freaked out and bothered that the helmet isn't his face. The first time Hero takes it off Paranoid has a breakdown trying to figure out why Hero is

[lyda3]

i need someone to tell me if my friend is toxic or not. it’s a very long paragraph and will not fit into one post so look in replies pls :(.

ive learned to dress nice. she laughed at my outfits, but i never used to leave the house, i dint have a reason, and now i have her, i have reason to go out. ive learnt to style my hair, because when i got my haircut she told me im gonna get bullied. i started sending nudes just to feel good about myself. i told her about it. l asked if she did. she said 'of course i do, look at me'. i once almost got them leaked. she said it was my fault. i’ve been on delivered for over 11 hours, when she was clearly online. i tell her how i feel in small intervals so she doesn’t think i’m attention seeking or flipping her feeling onto me. i’ve done so much for her and she’s done the same for me. I don’t want to let her go. even if I did, she’s still friends with all my other friends. It’s not like I’ll get far. She’s worth it. every moment with her is worth it. She said ‘well it’s too late now. it will never be the same’ after I apologised for something that hurt her, but she couldn’t remember what I did to her. every time I talk to her I think of that. I don’t know what I did to her. Neither does she. she told me i’d be so hot if it weren’t for my hair. she said i’d be so hot if i actually tried. She’s tried to kiss me before. grinded on my lap and told me she thought of me when she masturbated. i didn’t kiss her back. didn’t let her. and then she called one of our friends and told her that I was being boring because I wouldn’t kiss her. she was my best friend. it’s hard to let her go. after we had the incident when she said ‘it will never be the same’, we just started talking again. I don’t know why. it pissed me off. She didn’t apologise. I was practically on my knees apologising and she didn’t even spare a sorry look. She didn’t talk about what happened. We don’t talk when we get home anymore. message her just so she knows I don’t want to fight and I’m not being attention seeking or giving up. when we were fighting, she told me she was always the black sheep in her friendships. She’s finally found a group that doesn’t make her feel like that. Maybe feel bad for her. I was the one that introduced her to my friends. whenever someone does something to hurt me i hide it, i dont tell anyone. she told me that when i hurt her she didnt want to tell me because 'i didnt like it'. i dont even know what that means. my friends dont apologise to me because i never tell them they have anything to apologise for. but she’s stubborn. if i don’t message first or apologise we’ll never talk again. shes my best friend. she even said, when we were fighting that shes really sad I did that because I was her best friend and she always thought of me above any of her other friends. again, neither of us know what i did. I took her to the beach with my family. I got my older sister to buy us alcohol when we were underage and we sat in a fleld and drank it. she asked if I would let her eat me out, she asked to compare boobs, she showed me a nude of her. i listened to her playlist. I showed her a song and she added it to her playlist, later when she updated her Instagram story with two selfies of her like she always does, one of them was one i had taken of her, and the song i showed her in the field was the one shed chosen with the post. she took me to her mums wedding. a week out of town, in a posh part of england, staying in a mansion, with a heated pool, a play park, a trampoline, a jacuzzi, a sauna. i met all her family, played tennis with them. she rested her head on my shoulder and fell asleep on the way there, we were so close her parents thought we were dating. In the pool she said she thought she was gonna hate me at the end of this but shes actually glad i came, as it pushed her to do things she wouldnt have if i werent there. she said if i werent with her, shed never have gone in the pool or in the jacuzzi, we stole two bottles of beer and drank it in the playhouse at midnight. i was in all the wedding photos. the bathroom was clear and far from soundoroof, she trusted me enough to use the bathroom with me basically in the same room.

[vesemirsexual]

read the entire series recently and saw your recent ask about yennefer and being abusive. question: why do people only think yennefer is bad/bitch/mean/abusive? bc reading the entire series i found that while i still liked geralt, i also didnt really think of him as a poor meow meow in the way fandom had made him seem and there were points i really didnt like him?

Putting the ask here for reference.

I have some thoughts on this that I think will be unpopular and not go down well. I'll throw them below the cut to be respectful. I think this is probably going to come across much harsher than I intend, which I just want to state: not the goal! Just more of some thoughts I have on this topic, fandom cultural, and general social-cultural trends.

Obviously, there's the argument of male vs females character, which I really do think holds merit here. There's not a lot I can say on the topic, because I think that horse has been beaten to death. I think it's safe to say that Yennefer does have traits that are better received in male characters, and rub people the wrong way otherwise.

Another minor point I want to make quickly that I mentioned in the other ask reply: a lot of the heavy criticism of Yennefer comes from her behaviour early in the story. Realistically, the characters all develop throughout the story, and are not the same people they are in the beginning that they are by the end. It's whether you look at a character as who they are at a specific place in their storyline vs across the whole development. Both Yen and Geralt develop from people who cannot sustain a relationship, cannot be together, and are forced by their experiences to grow and learn.

Now comes the part I think is going to be unpopular. I talked in the previous ask reply about both Geralt and Yennefer having terrible childhoods that left them with a myriad of trauma and baggage. The way they interact with the world as a result of this trauma is very different though - Yennefer faces her problems head on, much of the time with arrogance, steps into a role as an aggressor before she can be the victim. Geralt on the other hand, repeatedly repositions himself as a victim, often coming back to feeling negative about himself/sorry for himself, bitter and sardonic.

From this, I think two things happen:

• People identify with Geralt more. Yennefer falls into the "bad survivor trope", who's behaviour as a result of trauma minimises sympathy you might feel for her, and makes people flinching away from empathising with her further. Geralt is much easier to project, to see yourself in - it's much easier see your behaviour as someone you can imagine as a victim, than someone who is behaving as an aggressor.

• It also means it's easier to excuse when Geralt behaves badly, or in a way that isn't conducive or healthy. It's much more sympathetic and relatable in a way that isn't uncomfortable to identify with. Realistically, no one wants to identify with negative behaviour that could be cast as abusive or aggressive, let alone admit it to other people (i.e, fandom). It's much easier to identify with how Geralt responds to situations instead. I think this kind of identification also makes it a lot easier for in-group bias to form; it's an easy step to call Yennefer a bitch for her response to a situation than to critically analyse how Geralt is responding as well.

What both Yennefer and Geralt share is that they're both incredibly stubborn and difficult people. Neither of them thinks they're capable of love, and suddenly they're neck deep in it (and the wish really has nothing to do with it). Yennefer is absolutely a nightmare at times; at the same time, she's facing someone who is actively trying to convince themselves they don't have feelings or humanity, which is not pleasant or easy to face either.

Yennefer gets raked over the coals for all her flaws. Geralt is many good things, but he's also a cynic, irritable and takes the people around him for granted frequently. He's easily offended, sulks and is prone to self-pity. He can also be incredibly ignorant of other people's perspective and how they feel. He bases his morality and consequent actions on his own views and experiences. In his conversation with Nenneke, it's made pretty clear that he's as culpable for things going wrong for them as she is. After living together for a year doesn't work, he literally ditches her in Vengerberg with a note and flowers because he doesn't want to face her. Yennefer breaks up with him and Istredd after making it clear she would choose him because he won't admit he loves her, and instead retreats into his victim stance.

This is not to say that I excuse all of Yennefer's actions. She actively fucks up in many places, and seriously crosses the line (e.g. throwing jars at him). But I also don't think it's realistic to say that she is the only toxic one, or that their pre-Ciri relationship is the same beast as the post-Ciri relationship.

In many ways, Geralt and Yen are the same character. They're abused, abandoned and set on a life path they don't choose for themselves. They don't know how to love, and they don't think they deserve to be loved. They're a mirror of each other, which is how they end up in the shitty pre-Ciri cycle: infatuation, passion, sex, fight, break up, spend time apart, think about each other, miss one another, seek the other out. Ciri is the catalyst for them to leave this cycle, get their shit together and grow forward from it.

Honestly, I blame CDPR for a lot of Yennefer hate, because most of their portrayal of her sucked, and the rumor that the writers didn't like her is incredibly suspicious considering. I think a lot of the other overly harsh criticism about Yennefer comes from how we identify with characters and their struggles, and how we view the real life complexities of abuse survivors, trauma and relationships.

[yarnclan]

Read Tigerhearts Shadow, liked it ok.

I like the books where the cats interact with different settings, especially twoleg stuff, its very fun to me. I would give Dovewing all of my bbq.

I might be stupid but uhh.... I didnt fully realize it was a church that they were living in until the kits crashed a funeral. It being framed as a big place where twolegs gather and "yowl" made me think it was a stadium or symphony hall... but uhh, in hindsight its pretty obvious. I just dont think about churches very often. This particular story did feel extra... religious to me? Like more than the avarage warrior cats plot. Maybe it was just because so much of it was centered around blind faith in StarClan and dreams.

I really liked Spiresight tho. I thought he was cool and him and Blaze's relationship was really sweet. I thought the scean when Tigerstar posthumously makes him a warrior was... a little odd.... he never really expressed a desire to be one, and the element of it seeming to be The Reason he makes it to StarClan was kinda... uncomfortable?? It reminded me of that thing some churches do of posthumously baptizing dead celeberties... idk, the framing of the whole book really does make it seem like the clans are an isolated war cult. Which is fascinating. But I do feel like the books frame Tigherheart's devotion and insistance that all cats should live like the clans as correct on some level... even tho, idk the anarchist city cats that give out free healthcare and think its pointless to "own" land seem to have the right idea to me. Well, in my headcannon Fierce calms down and they all go back to chilling in the basment.

In my dreams I'd like to think that the point was supposed to be that StarClan or what ever gave Dovewing the dream so that she and Tigerheart could learn from these cats and maybe chill the fuck out. Except Tigerheart is terminally stubborn and only Dovewing absorbed anything. Otherwise its a little unclear why they got sent away to that particular place? Dovewing had personal fears that made sense but idk if she'd have left without the dream. Tigerheart was presumably supposed to go find the lost shadowclan cats and also three more guys, but it just seems like a very roundabout way to get him to do that... It was a plot very driven by prophecy but the -why- of the prophecy didnt really make sense to me... i havent read tBC but i know a bit about Shadowsight's whole deal and kinda thought as I was reading that maybe Spire would have knowlage to save Shadowkit and that was why they were going... or that he'd be an important mentor for him for a bit but uhhhn.... nah. Idk maybe it comes up more in tBC?

I do like Tigerheart as a character, I like that he's stubborn and selfish, and also always justifying his actions for the greater good. Its cool that those traits were on display. But i do think warriors has a general issue of feeling the need to flatten their pov characters, or act like they are in the right..? Its weird, its like all the traits are there, even kinda acknowleged, but just... wind up burried? I dont know if im doing a good job explaining what i mean... its all something that kinda feels like a symptom of the books being outlined by different people than the ones who write them. Tigerhearts Shadow very much felt like that kind of book to me. Maybe even further acentuated by the need to fit into another series as a side story.