#Be that fear justified or not
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
so, I wanted to offer this as an alternate pov- from the kid who was taken at face value for that exact statement. Keep in mind while you’re reading this that I am a woman with treatment resistant depression and anxiety-as well as autism. My ability to communicate what I am feeling has been sub par for quite a long time-as has my ability to ensure im taken seriously. PLEASE be careful how you do this. I have a very vivid memory from high school- I was reaching a personal breaking point, one where I had accepted the fact that when i died it would be because I killed myself. I had made a last ditch effort to do… anything, really. I finally mustered up the courage to ask to see a therapist and it just… I remember being in her office one day. I was a choir kid, and I hadn’t done the practice I needed to in order to not embarrass myself at our “test” the next day. When I hadn’t been able to sing my part correctly on a previous test, a classmate had berated me for it; and in a choir of no more than 10- that destroyed me. So that day, when i was sobbing and hyperventilating in the therapists office, I uttered the words “my teacher is going to kill me.” My therapist looked me dead in the eye and said, “I think it’s unlikely, but if you’re really concerned we can set up a plan.” That was the moment I gave up. Over and over and over I had begged her to just help me- to take my pain seriously, my anxiety seriously, my depression seriously- but each time she talked about how “everyone feels that way sometimes” or just stared at me in silence, waiting for me to go on. I had seen this woman for almost a year, she knew me and had heard about my teacher several times before (he was a strict man, but incredibly kind. He was there to conduct our choir at my dad’s funeral the summer he died. He came home from a trip to do it, and to show that support and care alongside my classmates.) Hearing her respond in that way told me-in no uncertain terms- that no one would ever take me seriously. It told me that what I felt was meaningless. Taking this one thing seriously after months of empty platitudes made it clear that the only way anyone was going to give a damn about me was if i was dead- and gods did i want to be dead. I stopped seeing her a few sessions later, and it is truly just luck that has kept me alive 20 odd years later. It took me a good 10 to 15 years to seek out help again, and the damage done in that time will take me my entire lifetime to undo. Take children seriously, but please-do so with care. Don’t just take the statement at face value at all times. Ask them questions first, get to know more about the situation- because asking questions and trying to understand what’s happening DOES make someone feel like they are being taken seriously. It tells them you are trying to understand their situation so you can genuinely offer the help they need. Not doing so can make them feel like they’re being laughed at- like they’re the butt of a joke; after all, that’s what it did to me. Taking a child’s fear for their life seriously can save their life- but doing it in the wrong way can completely isolate them at the time when they need help the most. Perhaps im taking the above statements in a way that’s too black and white, but as someone who can sometimes miss the minutiae- and who has been failed repeatedly by professionals her entire life- please, please- don't just lean on protocol. Ask questions. Truly hear them and don’t just jump to “how can we protect you” first. Because kids don't always know how to say what it is they actually need. And if that child truly is in an abusive situation, the idea of doing something that could anger their parent (like telling on them to an authority figure) can cause them to shut down and change their story on a dime.
Adult ProTip, from a security professional: If a kid tells you, "My parents are gonna kill me / kick my ass / kick me out" for something relatively minor, don't respond with shit like "Really? ;) that sounds a little extreme, don't you think sweetie?" because that shit really does happen.
Instead, respond as though whatever threat they are afraid of is fully valid, and offer whatever you can do to help- ask if they believe they are in danger of being hurt in any way, and work accordingly.
If they're overreacting, they'll usually realize and dial it back, self-correct and begin thinking a bit more rationally.
If they're not overreacting, and the danger is real, then they'll need a level-headed adult in their corner, not another condescending authority figure who doesn't believe them.
#This happened with other authority figures too#Not just the one#I had teachers learn i was self harming#And then say they were going to try and get me help#I was so terrified of how angry my parents would be with me for it#Be that fear justified or not#That i just learned to lie better#I learned to hide it better#So that nobody would see that part of me again#The longer i did that#the more shocked people would be if i told them the truth#And the more it would end in accusations of attention seeking#even I became convinced i was attention seeking#I didnt learn that what i thought was feeling stubborn?#Was actually me having a panic attack#I was having multiple daily for most of my life#Frankly im shocked im alive most days#Ill shut up now but pease be careful#Mental health is hard and complicated#And you never really know what someone is going through unless you ask
54K notes
·
View notes
Text
The FNAF movie cupcake heard you Michael…
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#michael afton#mike schmidt#fnaf cupcake#fnaf handunit#fnaf#sister location#fnaf movie#fnaf fanart#five nights at freddy's#michael doesn’t knowww he doesn’t know#the cupcake was just a lil guy in his office#he doesn’t know the crimes movie cupcake has committed#Michael about to learn why mikes fear is justified lmao
11K notes
·
View notes
Text
tim drake would rather die than kill innocent people and tim drake killed hundreds of supervillain henchpeople with long-range detonation explosives that one time are two separate headcanons that, contrary to what the fandom discourse would have you believe, can actually coexist at the same time.
there’s even a psychologist term for it.
it’s called compartmentalization!
#let’s be honest#the entire batfamliy “stuffers” from this#and while that’s not something generally talked about#I just find the concept so interesting#how they all justify their actions — both socially moral and socially in-moral �� to themselves#particularly how they all justify their actions to themselves in different ways#and for more evidence about their compartmentalization: there’s obviously the fact that they all have superhero and civilian identities too#also#this might need to be a separate post#but#the fandom’s perception of each member of the batfamily as individuals#often read more like they have bought into the characters’s “masks” they wear due to trauma#the “masks” being how the batfam are completely willing to be only perceived as one-thing#because that’s easier than being a real human#with blood and pain and fears and failures#they’d much rather be#the nice one#or the funny one#or the smart one#(etc. etc.)#dc#dc comics#dc characters#batman comics#batfam#the batfamily#tim drake#robin#robin dc#red robin
789 notes
·
View notes
Text
Yet another Snater going on about how Neville’s boggart was Snape, even though Bellatrix tortured his parents to insanity. When I responded that Ron’s little sister was mind controlled and nearly murdered by Voldermort but his boggart was a spider …they just didn’t respond. Radio silence.
#Gonna be my go to from now on#Seriously his sister and surrogate brother were almost killed by Voldy…and he fears spiders#just proves that fears are not rational and Snaters need to stop weaponising Neville to justify their hate#severus snape#pro severus snape#ron weasley#neville longbottom#harry potter universe
100 notes
·
View notes
Text
Happy Anniversary In Stars and Time!! Have some Friend Quest based drawings :D
(These have specific quote picks related to them! And there's also a long ramble on why I like those specific quotes below if interested)
(And by long, I mean roughly 2k+ words of proper ramble total, so be warned before clicking keep reading this link right here to the rb!!)
#in stars and time#isat#isat spoilers#<- edited now this is just act 3 spoilers for the art LMAO#isat mirabelle#isat isabeau#isat odile#isat bonnie#isat siffrin#<- i promise this is the last time in a long long time i tag someone who only shows up with their back turned#but in my defense they also are here four times so i think the tag is justified SADASFA#time for a messier secondary post underneath the first WAHOOOO#to start!! random art tidbits!! no one is looking at siffrin in these!!#mira and isa are looking away while odile and bonnie have their eyes closed#in my minds eye these are the A4 versions of the FQ so siffrin internally is Not Having A Good Time#i just thought itd be fun to incorporate somehow as an extra easter egg detail kinda!#also i tried to make the bgs mildly accurate to location in game and its the reason why isa got to have one (1) singular tree in the bg#laaast art tidbit is that i took a bit of a creative liberty with bonnies#well i did with all of them but still#since its not explicitly stated sif god up immediately after tripping they get to stay on the floor in the drawing#i just thought itd be fun for the drawing!!#moving onto general tidbits in addition to the time fun fact i also decided the posting time#specifically so itd be in the middle of me having back to back to back meetings so can't second guess myself in posting this HAHA#every time i post any form of text based ramble on characters or even headcanons i Fear#and YEAH i am probably just being overly nitpicky towards myself on analysis that can prob be read several diff ways cuz interpretation#but i really really really dont want to fumble so badly to the point of mischaracterizing anyone since i like them a lot!!#still working on getting over that but hey at least i am trying and thats all i can ask of myself i think!#okay now time to Lie Down im writing these tags after stream#tag talk over into q u go :]#partial pin
72 notes
·
View notes
Text
I’ve mentioned this elsewhere but it feels relevant again in light of the most recent episode. Something that’s really fascinating to me about Orym’s grief in comparison to the rest of the hells’ grief is that his is the youngest/most fresh and because of that tends to be the most volatile when it is triggered (aside from FCG, who was two and obviously The Most volatile when triggered.)
As in: prior to the attack on Zephrah, Orym was leading a normal, happy, casual life! with family who loved him and still do! Grief was something that was inflicted upon him via Ludinus’ machinations, whereas with characters like Imogen or Ashton, grief has been the background tapestry of their entire lives. And I think that shows in how the rest of them are largely able to, if not see past completely (Imogen/Laudna/Chetney) then at least temper/direct their vitriol or grief (Ashton/Fearne/Chetney again) to where it is most effective. (There is a glaring reason, for example, that Imogen scolded Orym for the way he reacted to Liliana and not Ashton. Because Ashton’s anger was directed in a way that was ultimately protective of Imogen—most effective—and Orym’s was founded solely in his personal grief.)
He wants Imogen to have her mom and he wants Lilliana to be salvageable for Imogen because he loves Imogen. But his love for the people in his present actively and consistently tend to conflict with the love he has for the people in his past. They are in a constant battle and Orym—he cannot fathom losing either of them.
(Or, to that point, recognize that allowing empathy to take root in him for the enemy isn't losing one of them.)
It is deeply poignant, then, that Orym’s grief is symbolized by both a sword and shield. It is something he wields as a blade when he feels his philosophy being threatened by certain conversational threads (as he believes it is one of the only things he has left of Will and Derrig, and is therefore desperately clinging onto with both bloody hands even if it makes him, occasionally, a hypocrite), but also something he can use in defense of the people he presently loves—if that provocative, blade-grief side of him does not push them—or himself—away first.
(it won’t—he is as loved by the hells as he loves them. he just needs to—as laudna so beautifully said—say and hear it more often.)
#critical role#cr spoilers#bells hells#orym of the air ashari#cr meta#imogen temult#ashton greymoore#liliana temult#this is genuinely completely written in good faith as someone who loves orym#but is also about orym and so will inevitably end up being completely misconstrued and made into discourse. alas#I could talk about how Orym’s unwillingness to allow the hells to actually finish/come to a solid conclusion on Philosophy Talk#is directly connected to one of the largest criticisms of c3 (that they are constantly having these conversations)#all day. alas. engaging with orym’s flaws tends to make people upset#it is ESP prevelant when he walks off after exclaiming ‘they (vangaurd) are NOT right’#which was not only never said but wasn’t even what they were talking about#he even admits as much to imogen like ten minutes later! that he is incapable of viewing it objectively#which is 100% justifiable and understandable but simultaneously does not make his grief alone the most important perspective in the world#also bc i fear ppl will play semantics on my tags yes the line ‘i hope she’s right’ was said but it was from ASHTON#who does not believe they are at all and wasn’t saying they actively WERE right. orym just heard something to latch onto and ran with it#ultimately there is a reason orym only admitted that he was struggling when he had stepped away to talk to dorian#who has not been around and thusly has not changed once n orym's eyes#and it isn't that the hells never check in or care. they do. they have several times over#it is dishonest to say they haven't#the actual reason is that all of this is something He Is Aware Of. he doesn't mention it bc he KNOWS it's hypocritical and selfish#he says as much!#EXHALES. @ MY OWN BRAIN CAN WE THINK ABT MOG AGAIN. FYRA RAI EVEN. FOR ME.#posting this literally at 8 in the morning so I can get my thoughts out of my brain but also attempt to immediately make this post invisibl
167 notes
·
View notes
Text
supernatural s1e16 shadow (w. eric kripke)
I mean, am I keeping you against your will, Sam?
prelude to a meltdown (mine and dean's)
will he stay or will he go part 5 of ?
#supernatural#spn 1x16#eric kripke#willhestayorgo#supernatural gifs#spn gifs#sam and dean#mygifs#spngifs#generally i empathize with sam here* but just thinking for a minute how dean would feel hearing that from a stranger#all his (justified) fears about sam leaving given more credence by this random woman sam barely knew#(*because sam knows it's shitty and he's sorry and is too focused on the problem at hand. that likely she isn't just some rando lady)#but that particular sting of a stranger hearing about your very emotional private business and getting it thrown in your face. oof#but both of them - esp as the series wears on - are way more likely to open up and unload on a rando instead of each other#much to my personal dismay i might add :p#romcom style conflict generation via miscommunication / refusal to communicate drives me UP THE WALL
140 notes
·
View notes
Text
Who wants to bet that Anders was planned to be in that post-credit's Executor cutscene montage but they changed it to Bartrand when they realized it would go over real badly with everyone?
#clarification: 'go over way worse than it already is now lmao'#you're telling me that everyone from Loghain/Corypheous/Bartrand/Magisters Sidereal were all 'guided' or some shit#and not anders?!!!#someone had probably realized that it'd look real bad to imply that Anders only acted because of the guidance of some shadow Illuminati#that he only blew up the chantry because some snake man whispered in his ear and went HISS HISS HISSSSSS BLOW UP THE CHANTRY BITCH HISS#and not because the building was representative of the system that had systematically allowed mages to be abused for literal ages!!!#HE REMOVED THE CHANCE OF COMPROMISE BECAUSE THERE WAS NONE#they taught the people to fear mages and justified it with faith#a faith abused/omitted/adapted to suit their own narrative#they then gave those people they taught to fear weapons and told them to protect/enforce the chantry's doctrine#they looked the other way at abuse because to confront it head on would shake the foundation of the system their authority was built upon#to ensure they were loyal/efficient they made the templars dependent on lyrium at the cost of their own mental/physical health#no matter how many good mages and templars there were - the chantry had both groups on a leash and would never have allowed them to change#whatever you think about anders as a character - he wasn't wrong in telling us that the chantry was at the heart of the problem#bless whoever kept anders away from this mess lmao#i love you Anders <3#the only character in all of DA to have agency apparently!!!!#fuck the executors#datv spoilers#datv critical#bioware critical
54 notes
·
View notes
Text
I don’t understand it when people say that Carrie was also the problem bc she was anxiously attached bc like …. maybe she had a moment or two but for the most part it was absolutely Big being such a selfish prick and then justifying it w “ohhh I have commitment issues bc my last marriage fell through” umm ur a 45 year old BABY actually
#and like at every turn Big was so awful to her and she would justify it w “I’m also the problem”#Girl no#like when he refused to show her in public for the longest time#Or when he literally dropped a bomb that he was going to Paris out of NOWHERE#Refusing to meet her friends#Talking to her on his schedule and his schedule only#Being like “I wanna do things at my own pace” okay but that’s not how a relationship comprising two ppl works#And then marrying a brown eyed brunette socialite#The antithesis of Carrie#Was a transparently bad Big moment in the show but still#The show treads around in circles w regards to how to view Big#Bc they obviously wanna paint him as an unhealthy avoidant and also downright selfish asshole#But they also wanna be like “he’s j too scared to give her the keys to his house bc of his other relationships”#Like he literally played her like a FIDDLE#only to have them end up together ????? I will never understand that ending#I think it’s such weak writing#In real life avoidant men who also don’t want u that much won’t end up w u I fear#I don’t really understand the narrative weighing Carrie w the responsibility of adjusting to Big’s “trauma” and fixing him#He did that for her maybe once in the show but even when he’s being affectionate to her it comes from#A selfish place#Like he wants her attention or wants sex or whatevs like it’s never bc he’s truly in love w Carrie
77 notes
·
View notes
Text
Giving Hades the temperament of a middle school guidance counselor is probably the greatest use of characterization I have ever seen in my life
#crumbs babbles#percy jackson#pjo tv show#pjo series#pjo spoilers#PJO ep 7#like the man was serving all of the seems very open and caring which is very disarming so you fear him a bit#but you think you’re being ridiculous until you see the other side of him and you’re like oh no wait I may be justified in this#realness
174 notes
·
View notes
Text
dead patrol Charles intense fear of water due to his death in the lake I will never forget you
#dead boy detectives#I get they wanted the attic death from the comic but surely they could’ve still justified the fear of water
65 notes
·
View notes
Note
What are your headcanons about Marcille's mom if you have any? It's interesting that what drew Donato to her was cause she lived the history he studied, or that was said somewhere at least. She must've had an interesting life.
so this was going to be just a normal answer but then I realized I have a Lot of Things To Say. so here goes, a compilation of what we know for a fact from the canon, what I've extrapolated from the visual cues and details, and my theories based on all of that.
Things we know for a fact about Marcille's mother because they were explicitly stated in the manga and supplemental materials:
She was a court mage for a Tall-man kingdom at the southern part of the Northern Continent
Donato, a court historian, fell in love with her because she had lived through the history he was studying, and he courted her for 17 years (age 15 to 32) before getting married
She was a cheerful person who rarely showed extreme emotion and took things as they came
She always cooked a huge meal for Marcille on her birthdays
She remarried a gnome after Donato's death and a short distance away from Marcille's childhood home
Pipi, Marcille's pet bird, was actually older than Marcille and originally belonged to her mother (bird died at 62)
She was extremely heartbroken when Donato died and ultimately ended up instilling a deep fear of mortality in Marcille with her words
the only time she showed extreme emotion in front of her family was when Donato could no longer eat his favourite dish near the end of his life.
She scolded Marcille for being cruel to ants (implying she can have a stern side when needed)
Things that are explicitly shown but mostly through visual cues
She has a very distinctive style of dress always involving a ribbon choker (mirroring Marcille's habit of always wearing a matching choker with any of her outfits that don't cover her neck)
She was almost stereotypically good at housekeeping and traditionally "wifely" things (very frequently depicted wearing an apron or doing some domestic chore when not at work, seems to have been an avid cook).
She knits? (also, note the affectionate smile as she's looking at Donato and Marcille reading a book together in the full panel)
She was as excited for Marcille's milestones as Donato was.
She didn't tell Marcille much about elven food
(there are a couple things that this panel in particular implies:
She lived a good deal of her life (if not being born and raised) in a mainly elven country in the West, implied by her knowing enough of an elven region's cuisine to prefer Tall-man food over it
seems to have a pretty carefree and casual demeanour overall, if this is how she replied to Marcille asking her about it (sounds like she never gave her culinary preferences that much thought to begin with)
slightly related to number 2, it seems like she and Marcille had a fairly casual parent-child dynamic (especially in comparison to the Toudens' memory of their father)
(local elf tastes Italian food once and never goes back))
However, she seems a lot more... serious in most of the other times we see her? Almost like the very stereotypical archetype of a graceful elf.
Subsequent conclusions about her personality:
Usually pretty carefree and cheerful at home, has been a loving and attentive parent throughout Marcille's childhood (while not being so doting that she didn't discipline Marcille).
Slightly more conjectural theories on her personality:
Had a much more graceful and professional personality at work, which would explain the more serious portraits we see of her.
Given that both she and Donato had positions at the royal court, it seems a little odd that she'd go out of her way to do all the housework herself, so maybe she just enjoyed doing it?
Now taping all the evidence together and toeing the line between analysis and fanfiction:
It's clear that she loved Donato very much and was utterly devastated by losing him. But there's one thing that really stuck out to me in what little we see of her:
Doesn't she seem... angry? The way she's gritting her teeth, clutching the tablecloth, and how this is the first and only time we see her eyes opened that wide. In the following panel, you see her being quiet and dejected after her initial outburst. She's still crying very intensely, but her brows are furrowed, and she's not really responding to Donato's affection in her body language.
We're not told the details of how she felt about losing Donato other than that it upset her. But this, to me, implies that she was angry and resented that he was aging, that the end of his life was approaching. An "it's not fair" type of preemptive grief. And if this was the first and last time she cried like this in front of her family, she was either very good at coping in private... or very bad at letting herself feel unpleasant emotions until they become unavoidable and end up overwhelming her.
It's not too remarkable a detail on the surface. It's even reminiscent of what the audience has seen of Marcille. But... when it comes to the big picture, you'd think an elf who voluntarily chose to marry a tall-man and have a half-elf child would have been better prepared for this.
It kind of recontextualizes her cheerfulness to me.
"I'm sure everything's gonna be okay!" (or some variation thereof, depending on what translation you have).
And this is stated to contrast her extreme grief when finally confronting Donato's failing body and eventual death. But I'm wondering if... maybe this optimism was why she was so upset. What if she went into all of it thinking "everything's gonna be okay"? What if she was a little young by elven standards, and just followed her heart thinking that her own resilience would get her through anything?
Of course, only to get completely overwhelmed when she actually loses Donato. She turns into a completely different person. And that's heartbreaking on its own-- but what the audience sees is the effect it had on Marcille. Can you imagine being her, watching your invincible and upbeat mother suddenly lose all the light in her eyes in one go?
I've already made a huge post about how I think Marcille models her "work persona" off her mother, but another thing that stuck with me as I was looking for more details in the manga was this:
copy pasting from the other post i made about it lmao it's like... the second she resigns herself to lifelong pain and terror, there's another portrait of her mother facing her like this. with their heads bowed, in mirrored body language of resignation and despair and sorrow. Except it's posed like Marcille is still looking at her mother but her mother is looking away.
It took me a second to realize, but I think that it's a visual metaphor for the fact that Marcille's mother was the only long-lived role model she had-- and she failed to model healthy grief for her daughter. I don't say this as an accusation or to disparage her as a character, but just as a matter of fact. In her, Marcille was seeing herself older and losing a short-lived spouse or loved one of her own, and all she saw was hopelessness.
But her mother didn't mean to instill hopelessness and terror in her. She wasn't really thinking of how it would truly affect Marcille at all (at least, that's how I'm interpreting her looking down and away from Marcille in the metaphor), she was just sad. And she, in her own way, was trying to protect her daughter and help her prepare for future losses.
What she meant was "loss is inevitable, and you have to learn how to be in pain but live on anyway." What Marcille heard was "loss is inevitable, and you will be scared and hurt for the rest of your life."
Again. Marcille's mother doesn't feature explicitly in the story the way her father does -- but in so many ways, her shadow, her silhouette, her reflection is always hanging over Marcille.
All that to say... headcanon-wise (everything from here on is 100% without evidence lmao), I'd like to think that she matured and realized that she failed Marcille. I imagine her being regretful about it, wanting a chance to fix it but never finding a way to insert herself back into Marcille's life when Marcille is so so so busy becoming the most accomplished mage possible. I imagine her being herself again, now, so many years after her loss and after remarrying -- but with her cheerfulness tempered with a lot more wisdom and the pain of having gone through loss like that. I think the second Marcille actually tells her what happened in the dungeon, she'd want to go running to her daughter again -- if Marcille tells her the full truth instead of just being embarrassed she let things get that far. (oh, the tragedy of her wanting to be more like her mother and an accomplished adult who doesn't need to be babied... being embarrassed to actually tell her mother how much she fucked up...)
There's also the tension of her having remarried -- I know that there's at least a little bit of resentment that Marcille harbours about that, because she's childish like that at heart even if she makes an effort not to externalize it. I think that her mother would be aware of that, potentially adding to her sense of guilt and apprehension at trying to reappear/intrude on Marcille's life. I honestly don't think Marcille has met her stepfather -- or even considers him a stepfather rather than "mama's new husband" and kind of a total stranger. I think she and her mother actively don't talk about it in their correspondence, like an elephant in the room.
but, ultimately, I think her mother is on her side no matter what. Ancient magic? Dark necromancy? Sure, she'll feel guilty and like she was partially responsible for setting Marcille down such a painful path, but she wouldn't care. that's her daughter!! she would've moved back west and been petitioning for her at the court, buying a house right next to the Canaries barracks and visiting her every day that she wasn't on a mission. And if her husband had opinions on Marcille becoming a "dark arts user," he either gets over it or it's divorce with him. Yes, she might have had her optimism completely humbled by losing Donato like that -- but she's still headstrong and self-assured and she doesn't care what people think of her. It's her way or the highway and she's always going to be in Marcille's corner.
(She also needs a name lol. I went with Juno, just to be cute about "Marcille"s closest real life equivalent being Marcella, which is the female version of Marcellus, which in turn is a diminutive of Marcus, which was derived from Mars. Absolutely in love with Marcille potentially being named after Ares/Mars the fucking god of war btw)
#asks#she could easily be interpreted as distant or neglectful after Donato's death too#with how little involvement she has in Marcille's life/the fact that Marcille doesn't even mention her when talking about her life prospect#and that's fair! I will argue to hell and back that she was a loving parent when Donato was alive#but there's nothing that suggests she remained a loving parent afterwards#I just think that like... parental relationships are so complicated in dungeon meshi#you cannot deny that the toudens' mother loved them dearly but that she failed them both miserably as a parent#and i think it'd be more compelling if Marcille's mother was a little like that too#not a totally and easily dismissable deadbeat#but someone who truly loves her daughter but was only human herself and couldn't be what Marcille needed at a crucial moment#and regrets it deeply#and that the distance between them is mutually self-imposed by complicated feelings of guilt and fear#and a little resentment from Marcille's side that she hasn't really properly processed#I don't know if I'll ever get around to writing it but i had this idea where Marcille does finally spill the beans to her mom and she just#immediately arrives in Melini#and its awkward for a bit but they do finally have a heart to heart and air it all out#and marcille starts freaking out that her marriage is rocky rn bc her new husband wants her to distance herself from marcille#on account of the crimes and all#marcille's like no you can't blow up your marriage for me and her mother just shuts that shit down#'you didn't choose to be born. i was the one who made that choice for you'#'i brought you into this world and i'll be damned if i don't take responsibility for that the entire way'#'you are entitled to *nothing less* than my unconditional love.'#and obviously that's not a sentiment that's exactly healthy as a universal statement about parenthood#but i think its what her mother would believe and what marcille needs to hear#and dungeon meshi does such a fantastic job at just... letting imperfect things just *be* without having to justify it immediately#it expects the audience to do their own critical thinking#and know that its not trying to make sweeping universal statements in every instance#marcilleposting#marcille donato#junoposting
121 notes
·
View notes
Text
So I couldn't help but browse the THG tag bc those books own my whole heart. I actually check it now and again, and it's been interesting see how opinions have changed over the years, especially in regards to Gale and Peeta. Going through the evolution of them as just potential love interests to being far more complex than I could have expected has been a wild ride. Crazy how this reads different than from when I was a preteen.
That said, I wanted to give my unsolicited two cents on my boys, because though I have been enjoying the discussion on Peeta and Gale and what they mean to the story, I also feel like reducing them to Peeta = peace and Gale = war is far too simplistic... and oftentimes unfair to one or both of them.
See, I don't think Peeta and Gale are peace and war/destruction. They're compassion and indignation.
Peeta worries about the other tributes, or their families, or how to repay people like Rue and Thresh for what they did.
Gale is indignation at how the Capitol treats its citizens, it's anger at the injustice of inequality and brutality.
Both are needed in a story like THG. You can't have people like even Peeta not say something like "maybe we're wrong about keeping things quiet in the districts", you can't have him not drop the baby bomb, you can't start a revolution without Gale's indignation at the status quo. At deserving a better life but being denied it, at having your kids be mercilessly killed for literal sport.
However, if you start a rebellion and loose sight of your compassion, you end up no better than the people you're fighting against. Gale wasn't a bad person, imo. His heart was in the right place. He was flawed, yes, but so is everyone in this series. Gale, most importantly, lost sight of the line between fighting for the people he cared about and fighting against the people who hurt him.
Reducing Gale's indignation to just revenge and hatred ignores so much of what he stands for. Who hasn't seen laws passed that dehumanize people, who hasn't been angry and furious when someone is elected who fundamentally hates everything you are, who doesn't think some people need to pay for the atrocities they committed? There's a little bit of Gale in every single one of us - and it's important that it's there, because that's what gives us strength to challenge the status quo and make life better for the future generations.
But. You can't let it take over. You can't loose sight of your compassion or your empathy.
That's where Peeta comes in. Peeta is the voice in your head that worries about how many good lives will be lost when they give themselves up for this cause. Peeta is the worry about the people caught in the crossfire. Peeta is rebuilding when it's over and believing that the next generation will have a better life than your own. Peeta is being kind, even to people who may not deserve it.
And Gale... Gale looses sight of his compassion, and he doesn't realize it until it smacks him in the face when the bombs go off and Prim is gone and he's too far gone. Meanwhile, Peeta advocates for the end of the war even though it means the status quo remains - and regardless of what he believes himself, I don't think Suzanne chose him to say those lines by chance. It means both mindsets have their flaws: too kind and things that shouldn't remain will never be challenged and changed, too angry and you may loose sight of what you're fighting for.
And that's just how Suzanne uses her characters, both of them, all of them. Just look at who is with Katniss depending on the situation:
- Katniss chooses to "rebel" after Gale is brutally whipped. She kisses him.
- Katniss realizes that in order for D12 to rebel, everyone would need to be in on it, and she realizes most of them are not like her, that they're scared and she understands, emphasises with them. Peeta walks by her side.
- Katniss finally does it though, shoots the arrow at the force field, and Peeta is taken from her, it's now Gale by her side.
(You can't start a rebellion without indignation, and sometimes you HAVE to do it or things will never change, regardless of the inevitable pain that will come along.)
- Katniss is righteously angry at the Capitol bombing a hospital full of innocents to make a point. Gale remains there.
- Coin twists people's compassion into an army to fight for her own personal gain. Peeta is hijacked and looses his sense of self.
- Katniss and Gale go to District 2 and even though she tries to be like Peeta, she's still shot- reinforcing Gale's views, the person who was with her during that sequence.
- Katniss is angry at Snow, Katniss goes to the Capitol to kill him. Gale is there.
- Katniss gets in way over her head and realizes she is responsible for the death of most of her squad. She shares the lamb stew with Peeta, and later cleans his wounds.
- Finnick dies and she's at her lowest up until that point and all she wants to do is give up and give in to the anger. She kisses Peeta and begs him to stay with her.
... Claiming that Gale is destruction ignores the fact that he's with Katniss through her own moments of strength. Her desire to change things, to fight back, is as important as her compassion. Mockingjay just brutally shows you what war does to your indignation, to your compassion. How easy it is to cross a line between righteous anger and revenge, or how your sense of empathy and compassion can be manipulated into something monstrous by others, or by all the terrible, brutal, painful things you see.
How easy it is to loose yourself- and that goes for both of them.
Peeta and Gale aren't static characters, they go from representations of sentiments regarding an injust government to what happens to those feelings when an extreme situation such as war breaks out. All of that, by the way, while dealing with this duality themselves, because they are still characters who think and feel and struggle and have flaws of their own- and while I love what they stand for, I've seen too many comments that pin everything into what they mean, that they forget that Peeta and Gale are still people, they aren't perfect metaphors. They're human.
Ultimately, Katniss doesn't really choose peace. She wants peace, yes. But what she chooses is compassion. empathy. hope. There's a time and place for anger at injustice. There's a time when fighting back is the right thing to do. There are even times when you wanna give in to your despair and lash out. But if you want peace, then you have to choose Peeta, because Peeta represents what you need to focus on to achieve that peace. You have to let go of the anger or you won't ever rest. So Gale leaves, and does not come back... And yet, Katniss still has her moments of indignation, of making a stand, even as he goes - she still casts her vote at that meeting, she still shoots Coin. Katniss does not abandon that part of who she is. It's just not her main drive anymore.
So then she goes on to make the choice, every single day, to be compassionate to others. To have hope. To rebuild. Of course she chooses Peeta.
... Idk, man. These boys are so much more than what I see them so often reduced to. They're in all of us. There will be times to stand and fight, and times to show mercy and be kind. We just need to find that balance, as Katniss eventually did.
#the hunger games#thg#katniss everdeen#peeta mellark#gale hawthorne#it took me over a decade but I finally bit the bullet and decided to talk about this series#I love it so much#there's so much more I could say I had to hold myself back#like how BOTH Gale and Peeta are never fully gone even tho most people only focus on Peeta#But Gale knew what he did was wrong#It's not as clear bc he's not a pov character and katniss is too tired to try and read him but#prim's death touched him#he didn't brush it off he didnt see it as justified bc at least now its over#regardless of his reasons he still has enough sense of self to realize this#unlike y'know. characters like coriolanus who makes up so many excuses for what he did#including indirectly killing the character who is the personification of innocence and hope#like prim was#(side note I dont think any of the tbosas characters are direct parallels to the thg ones)#(theres little bits of katniss peeta AND gale in characters like snow)#(bc they're all representative of indignation and anger / compassion / fear and the need to feel safe)#(which every human being in the world has - even that bastard)#(he just chooses a different path)#(tbosas is very good btw)#(y'all should read it before the movie makes it about romance like I'm terrified it will)#ps if anyone knows how to put a read more on mobile can you let me know thx ily
984 notes
·
View notes
Note
i now wanna hear your very long character analysis on how the drama machine affected alejandro
Yeah alright.
So I haven't actually watched All-stars, but I did skim through this video to get a feel for Alejandro's characterisation in it, since All-stars is the only canonical material we get from Alejandro post Drama Machine.
And by skim I really do mean skim; I was mostly looking out for signs of his imprisonment's influence, which for the most part seems to be as follows:
His legs fell asleep.
He developed a minor case of agoraphobia, mostly in the context of sleeping in open spaces.
His standards of human interaction have plummeted; something he's aware and accepting of.
Interestingly enough, he doesn't really seem to acknowledge the volcano itself (outside of an offhanded comment) or the injuries he got from the explosion. His focus is solely on his time in the suit, not what out him there in the first place. He even skirts over a memory loss issue, which could contribute to this.
I'll tackle these three points in more detail, and then give examples of how they can be developed into actual characterisation points instead of (for the most part) gags.
Number one; Leggy McLatin and the paraplegia scheme.
Alejandro's inadvertant and unintentional escape from the Drama Machine, and subsequent readmission into the competition (as himself, instead of as the machine) is, for the most part, entirely focal on the fact that his legs no longer work after his year of entrapment. It's a big deal - or, at least, as big of a deal as any injury or ailment can be in the context of Total Drama, considering that he doesn't miraculously get better in the span of an episode. Of course, we learn fairly early on that he's faking the paraplegia, but it's fairly heavily implied that his legs really were asleep initially (and that, in all likelihood, the massage we see him getting from an intern is what "wakes them up").
What's interesting about this particular plotline choice is that it would, realistically, be entirely feasable for Alejandro to have mobility issues after spending a year inside a robot.
Now, I'm no doctor, nor do I have any formal medical training, but I do know that not being able to move your body for an extended period of time results in a serious case of muscle atrophy. We see in canon that Alejandro was essentially locked in a seated position for the year; his arms, head and (assumedly) torso had place to move around, but he couldn't really stretch out his legs. This would explain the "weakness" of his legs in the first episode - i.e. their wobbliness, and the fact that they couldn't hold up Alejandro's body weight. The numbness he cites would be explained by poor circulation - again caused by him being sat down for a solid twelve months.
Or it could be nerve damage from the eruption, but given that Alejandro doesn't seem to have any long-term issues that stem from the volcano itself, it's unlikely.
So it can be assumed that the numbness of his legs was offset by the massage he gets after the first challenge. The masseuse kickstarts the blood circulation back into his legs, resulting in him regaining sensation in them - enough feeling to notice a crab pinching at his feet.
And, if I really want to reach into headcanon territory/realism, the reason he keeps up the "ruse" is because, despite having feeling in his legs, the muscles there are still fairly atrophied and he has a lot of trouble walking, let alone running, for extended periods of time. Though, as it stands, any long-term impact on his health would be entirely headcanon/fanon territory, due to the nature of the show itself.*
Then there's the psychological aspect to consider. Alejandro's a very prideful person by design - that's evident in both the way he portrays himself and the physical standards he holds himself to. Having use of half of his body stripped away from his is bound to be distressing, perhaps even traumatising. Hence why he tries to make himself as useful to the team as possible despite still recovering; he needs everyone to see that he's still capable.
Eventually his legs fully recover, because this is Total Drama and things like "realistic healing processes" and "lasting damage" don't seem to exist in-universe.
Number two; snug as a bug in a rug.
Alejandro's shown to have started sleeping in a sleeping bag throughout All-stars. He even canonically states that he needs to, because of his time in the Drama Machine. He cites that sleeping whilst srpawled out makes him uncomfortable, unspokenly referring to the fact that, for a year, he'd only had the option to sleep in an incredibly cramped position/environment.
This is interesting since, for the most part, you'd assume that someone held in close-quaters captivity would develop claustrophobia instead of a form of agorophobia, and yet Alejandro seems to have internalised the need to be in an enclosed space to sleep. Maybe it's symptom of just how long be was encased for - a year is a long time - or maybe it started out as claustrophobia, but the indefinate nature of his captivity morphed the initial fear into a twisted sort of coping mechanism.
It begs the question; what else can't Alejandro do in open spaces?
Is he perpetually uncomfortable with the openness of the outside world? Does he resort to hermiting himself into closed-off corners and enclosed rooms, just to feel a semblence of normalcy after he escapes the confines of the Drama Machine? Would he take to wearing tighter but more concealing clothing, just to immitate the feeling/pressure of being trapped in a too-tight enclosure?
Is his need for a snug sleeping space indicitive of him missing his isolated imprisonment?
Which brings us nicely into the third point.
Number three; long-term isolation and the effects thereof.
Alejandro explodes out of a glorified toaster and one of the first things he really comments on is Heather's off-putting personality and her facial hair. In a positive manner. He's so starved for human contact that he attaches himself to the first "friendly"/familiar face he sees, which in this case is Heather, and focuses on the aspects of her that make her human.
If he were a "weaker man", I have no doubt Alejandro would be clambering for attention from his team, mostly for proof that he's no longer completely isolated. It's a well-documented phenomenon; people who experience a long time in isolation, or who suffer through long periods of loneliness, become desperate for socialisation (and physical contact), to the point their immune systems and biological rhythyms (from circadian to infradian) start to deteriorate.
Realistically, Alejandro would've come out of the Drama Machine a desperate and sickly mess, riddled with insomnia and paranoia and incredibly touch-starved. But, as established, the show isn't exactly true-to-life when it comes to things like this, so...
As it stands, the fact that he emerged from his prison and immediately jumped back into his charming persona attests more to the fact that his flirtatious act is so deeply ingrained into his psyche than it does to his mental wellbeing. It could be argued that he's using the same act/mask/persona as a tether to his old self and an anchor to normalcy, as he'd likely crumble into an inconsolable mess without the scaffolding of his "TV personality" keeping him upright (metaphorically of course, as Alejandro is in fact not upright in the show. He's upside down for the majority of his time on All-stars).
Or maybe he's just built different? Who's to say.
We don't exactly know what went down during his year away, so it's impossible to make any concrete statements as to whether Alejandro was afforded the luxury of other people's company, or if he really was kept 100% isolated in the machine. The only thing we do know is that he likely had access to a phone, though didn't have the capability of using it without assistance, since he calls Heather out for never trying to contact him but also states the impossibility of him doing the same in turn.
Number four; lava damage and the lack thereof.
It's sort of explained during his scene at the end of World Tour, but Alejandro's whole "being trapped in the Drama Machine" deal - alongside being a parody of the scene where Anakin Skywalker is first put into the Darth Vader suit - is stated to be for his own benefit. He's essentially being locked away into a healing suit. Again, just like Anakin - they both even sport similar burn wounds.
He mentions at the beginning of All-stars that he doesn't really remember being put into the machine, and it's safe to assume that the majority of his time in the contraption is likely fuzzy to him as well; being fully concious of complete isolation for a whole year would be enough to drive anyone completely mad, and Alejandro is decidedly not insane (for the most part). Ergo, it's also a safe assumption that the inner mechanisms of the Drama Machine act as a sort of stoporous healing chamber, keeping Alejandro semi-concious and healing his various lava burns over the course of his concealment.
Sort of like a medical coma. Inside of a robot. A portable medical coma.
The "healing properties" would also justify why Alejandro's whole body hadn't deteriorated from muscle atrophy, or developed any (visible) burn scars from his stint in the Hot Sauce. Of course, as far as burn scars go, unless they're significantly deep they do tend to fade into near-invisibility over time. That, paired with the ~magical healing properties~ of his confinement, likely resulted in his lava burns scarring over into insignificance.
Then again, I once again have to take cartoon logic into account - the show itself likely just didn't consider the semi-realistic consequences of a year of entrapment, and wanted Alejandro to be near-enough the same character he was at the end of World Tour before the consequences™.
The main point here is this; Alejandro doesn't seem to remember the majority of his injuries following the volcano eruption in the World Tour finale, or if he does he's had a year of semi-conciousness to work through his thoughts and feelings on the matter, and as a result he doesn't seem to carry any (reasonable) trauma regarding lava, volcanoes, or other related stimuli.
He does, however, retain some "quirks" from his time in the machine.
Number five; an overview.
Alejandro comes out of the Drama Machine with a surprisingly little amount of visible trauma, both in terms of physical damage/scarring and observable mental changes.
He developed a very minor case of agoraphobia, spurned on by him becoming accustomed to existing in a very small, very cramped space, but otherwise attunes himself to the outside world incredibly fast.
Is this probably related to his social training, as a diplomat's son, and his heavy reliance on a "suave and charming" persona. He's likely battling with a lot of internal issues throughout the season, but squahing down his inner turmoil under his determination to win, which explains how/why he falls so easily into his scheming mindset - it, in and of itself, is a coping mechanism, though not a very healthy one.
*The paralysis of his legs was in all likelihood genuine, and a result of poor circulatory issues and minor muscular atrophy, which was almost immediately treated by the masseuse intern after the first challenge. Realistically (and how many times have I said that word) he'd have some lasting weakness in his legs, and maybe require the use of a mobility aid and/or physiotherapy. This is not the case, because... Total Drama.
There are subtle signs of the mental impact of his imprisonment, mostly in his immediate attachment to Heather (despite her taking away his reproduction privileges the last time they spoke, and her being Heather) and his innate need to prove himself as useful/capable despite his gameplan riding on him appearing pitiable and unthreatening (due to his "sleepy legs"). He's so starved for social interaction and validation that his actions are directly contradictory to his gameplans.
Though in the case of his Heather attachment, he could just be like that. He was also fairly infatuated with her in the latter half of World Tour, and the pineapple scene speaks for itself.
In conclusion; Alejandro is either completely goated and (for the most part) just shrugged off the trauma of being trapped in a tiny box for a year, or he was already so traumatised that the imprisonment was just another needle in his haystack of turmoil.
#I'm partial to the second conclusion myself. Alejandro shrugs off additional trauma because he's already hit his quota. He's immune.#Vaccined against The Horrors thanks to his piss-poor homelife and whatever else he experienced pre-TD.#From a strickly canonical standpoint he gets off pretty lightly - most of the other antagonists are punished much worse by the narrative.#If we're taking headcanons into account? Or even a modicum of realism? He's like 50% invisible scar tissue and 50% PSTD.#I can't really think of a way to justify him NOT being scared of fire/lava without taking the “I barely remember anything” line and--#running with it. Giving him a little dissociative amnesia to excuse his lack of rational fear.#... That DOES open up an avenue of him rediscovering his volcano-based trauma at a later date...#It's actually a little bit shocking that his character remained pretty much the same between seasons. He was locked in a tiny cage--#for a YEAR and when he broke out he was IMMEDIATELY back to his old tricks. It's almost iconic.#total drama#td alejandro#character analysis#long post#replies
79 notes
·
View notes
Text
I hate nuke ending if I'm being honest. Not in terms of the narrative (narratively it's quite beautiful) but in terms of ideological reasoning behind anyone using nuclear weapons in general and any attempt of painting it as justifyable. If you think Markus is justified in pushing the button and if you would actually push it if you were in his place, genuinely, why?
#maybe I also hate it because I live next to a country that constantly threatens an invasion and nukes#nothing scares me more than nuclear war and within the context of present day its hard to exist without this constant fear that#stupid fucking world leaders will destroy everything even before climate change#and justify it with some stupid bullshit#ok back to Markus#I don't think the existence of one species Your kind is good enough reason to kill millions with a press of a button#I'm sorry but fuck that
30 notes
·
View notes
Text
riz gukgak is SO distressing to have as a favourite character I can never funckign rest out here
#not art#smthing abt his character being motivated so equally by truth and fear#and he keeps looking for an institution that'd both help him seek the truth and assuage his fears#with him first being a PI bc his mom was a cop and then a junior agent with blessings from his dad#and hes like on that precipice of realising that its not just the people in the seats its the concept of it from the ground up thats fucked#so hes inclined towards conspiracy thoughts and an end-justifies-the-means pattern of action#like. man. hes just so fucking filled with anxiety. he guards the things that make him happy with ferocity#and the thing is! the world encourages this! every time hes paranoid he turns out to be right#that paranoia that already came from having very little control over a world thats unkind to you#honestly all the bad kids were prime radicalization/cult materials in freshman year but I feel like riz is even More so#theyre so fucking lucky they ended up together like that. there are so many things you can promise a kid#who already had plenty of things taken from and kept from him. a kid with an overworked mom and a missing babysitter#if riz didnt run into the bad kids it would be childs play to isolate him. gods. head in hands I cannot fuckign be here dude#this is why the ''small'' comic I tried to sketch ballooned up to almost 30 panels lmao needed to stuff someof this somewhere#but also skip is my favourite from ASO so maybe I just like experiencing hardship and challenges in daily mental exercises
100 notes
·
View notes