#I didnt do like normal head things lol
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Was just a quick little sketch sooooo enjoy?
#wttt#welcome to the table#welcome to the statehouse#wttt new jersey#wttsh new jersey#wttt fanart#wttsh#this one was just nice to do#I didnt do like normal head things lol#just like drew the outline like how it is#Idk how to describe it#anyway I love him#good old home state
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for people who have anxiety but live alone anyway: how do u deal with the panic? I live with 2 other people and still have bubble burst moments of random fear that only gets soothed by putting myself in someone else's eyeline. what do you do when the catastrophising starts???
#my body has a lot of random weird pain frkm 26 years of bad things and every time im like#i should have written a will its really happening this time im about to drop dead#so i skitter around the house to stand close enough to someone else that theyd hear me if i fall over LMAO#insane behavior i know. i have a mountain of medical anxiety bc of my grandparents#but like i cant even wrap my head around what id do if i felt that way and was alone 24/7 at home#panic forever???#who makes you eat and shower bc its sure not MY executive function keeping me alive on the bad days LOL#id wither away if i lived alone i think#kinda sad my life went a way where thats never going to happen tho. to the end of wanting to know who id be#how would i dress and act and decorate?? eat?? what kind of dishes would i get. throw blankets too#what would i learn abt myself etc its an iteration of me that will likely never happen bc im happily married#hmmm#ur always going to wonder about the lifestyles you didnt have. thats normal#but it does make me wonder what i would have been like if i had friends and my own space#oh to be a fag making out with his friends in the privacy of his own home#or maybe thats just how i feel bc were literally married and have never been able to afford to live alone Together lol
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i am very grateful that im not someone that has to deal with daily seizures but it is evil when it takes like a week and a half's worth of business days to recover from a seizure
#if i had them everyday or every other day i would be so fucked 😭#id like to say they dont bother me per se but the entire week after is laying in bed after 11 pm and wondering if jts going to happen again#bc my head feels like its about to explode#and then do not get me started on the fear of getting in the shower within the first few days of one happening .#reasonably i understand that my seizures happen from 11pm to maybe 3 am on average .#but ill have a seizure and then have to hype myself up for like 2 hours just to take one 3 days later st like 2 pm#my seizures do not interfere with my day to day life in extreme ways but existing knowing that i have them during a certain time frame is#like. Hey man can you grow up#also it is really funny being told theyre probably hormonal or stress related and should 'probably stop' as i get into my mid 20s .#Well im turning 25 next month and evidently i still have seizure activity in me#also also heres a fun fact: my epilepsy does not have an actual named diagnosis they just said i certainly have a Form of it ❤️#they dont know what causes them and i have no real warning signs (bc a headache =/= potential seizure)#they dont bother me but i do have to live with the knowledge that i could have one any day now and wake up to my mom asking me questions#hope everyone can tell i have a lot of feelings about my epilepsy despite not talking about it like ever ❤️#the only thing that really bothers me is the no warning signs. ive been perfectly fine and had them. ive had massive migraines when i was#unmedicated and didnt have one. very bizarre#and ofc all my brain scans come back normal all the time so they dgaf Lol
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🏥🦷
#damn my teeth on my left side reallyyyyy fkn hurt#last night it started hurting so bad i couldnt fall asleep#i took some regular over the counter pain pills nd they brought down the pain a bit#so it at least didnt hurt as bad as it did first#but now after sleeping a few hours it still hurts ://#idk what to do... bc i've googled but it is like impossible for me to know what this is. could be anything rlly#nd w physical health stuff im not as terrified bc i can just go to the ER. when i was there it only cost $15 lol#but dental care is so fkn expensive i dont even have that in my account#anyway. i could get an 'urgent appointment' which i get financial aid for... probably. thats the thing. it's not 100% certain#idk what i should do bc like i could wait it out nd see if it'll pass nd then wait on my appt the 6th may#or maybe i should call my dentists nd ask them what they think nd if they can give me an urgent appt..#i hate calling tho. i know that sounds ridiculous esp when im dealing w pain but my avpd makes it so so hard for me. i'd almost rather not#if i was smart nd normal thats what i would do. just call them nd see what they decide for me. maybe i'll wait nd see nd call tmrw....#nd idk abt the pain. like it rlly hurts but it isnt extreme i think.. but when i press one tooth it hurts a lot nd makes me worried it's#dying 💀 nd like u can actually die from teeth pain nd complications... nd infections nd stuff. it's scary af 😭#idk if my tooth is dying nd i need to contact a dentist rn or if its smth that can wait for a bit#i mean if i had a job nd a salary i'd book an appt for tmrw nd get it checked but i have to discuss w myself bc i cant afford lol#ugh this is the reason im terrified of dental problems. the pain is awful nd theres nothing u can do if you're poor#my head keeps spinning idk what i should do abt this 😭 i csnt make up my mind. just want it to go away on its own but i know it wont#nd it hurts so that i can barely sleep or eat or concentrate. so i rlly dont know.....#oh if only things were easy
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loki season two has me screaming crying throwing up trying not to get dragged back into the mcu trenches
#i am stronger than this. i am better than this!!#by the trenches i mean consuming fanfiction at an unhealthy rate. fourteen year old me was insane i think i was on ao3 more than i slept#that’s not exaggeration. i was getting four hours of sleep on school nights and frequently went to bed at 5am on weekends#it is ONE good story. one. literally not worth it. i don’t even care about ninety percent of the mcu characters#i will ignore the little voice in my head reminding of the sheer amount of fanfiction. this was my pre-tumblr days#so my fandom interaction was like. youtube and ao3. maybe instagram posts sometimes. it was so much fun like. zero drama zero discourse#i was honestly living my best life. got less interested when i joined tumblr and went full doctor who mode#and after endgame i watched i think wandavision and loki and that was it. just didnt care anymore lol#i know exactly why this is happening tho. currently the thing i am insane about is my own damn project. which i am in the process of writin#for obvious reasons no fandom there. bc it lives in my mind twenty four fucking seven#i do wonder if i’m kind of growing away from fandom anyway? the closest i’ve got since toh ended was homestuck tbh#i want to feel obsessed with something again!! everything i’m into now - tma tlt and the like - i love them#but it doesnt hit like it used to. i don’t know it’s hard to explain#like video essays that i would have loved a few years ago!! the hour long ones about representation and queer media#they just irritate me now! i got halfway through one last week and had to bail i just could not care less#how did 2020 social media have me convinced that x character being gay was super important politically economically socially etc#ofc the answer is that i was a baby lesbian getting even less social interaction than normal#like representation is important obviously but also. sometimes it was not that deep#i don’t know if i’m making sense tbh but you get my drift#morganposting
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...
#i was looking through old photos today. they where from wjen i was like 1 and it made me so sad#bc my mum would have been like only a year or 2 older then i am now and she looked so young#and now she has an abdomen full of tumors and blistered hands and feet. theyre prob gonna hsve to remove her bladder#but shes still very pragmatic abt it. but she grew up in a house where no one really cared about her feelings so she made them small#and now her mother calls and doesn't ask how her grandkids are doing and doesn't ask how her daughter is doing. im cursed with terrible#grandparents on both sides but i resent my mothers mother worse. though my dad said i probably wouldnt have survived his upbringing#and hes right. my nana has like zero empathy and cant cook for shit. idk how my parents r so normal but the fact i had a good upbringing is#probably the only reason im still here. and thats the other thing that made me sad abt the old pics. just looking at this little baby with a#fucked up head and thinking: in 25 years that kid is gonna b so broken down their not gonns kno what to do or how to fix it. idk whats wrong#with me. ive always been some stage of miserable but i used to b able to get things done. and now i cant seem to force functionality#and it sucks. bc im home now and i still feel like im cringing around this open wound in my chest. but whatever#as of today ive started taking ab1lify. hopefully it helps in the long term but in the short term it triggers my 0cd. which is not fun#its so frustrating. whatever. i also found out my eyes used to not work together. not enough to have a lazy eye but it was hard for me to#read and apparently my eyes were tracking at like double the speed of a normal person. wtf is wrong with my brain? also also my mum was like#yea i never would have guessed bip0lar but we thought it was something. autism i could see 100% but yea didnt see that coming. ao i guess#i brehave like a bit of an oddball. ans my nana would bother my dad to try to make me participate in church and my dad was like no. she#clearly don't wanna b here lol. ay. they did the best they could which i appreciate#unrelated
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Feeling a debilitating sense of dread and despair 🤨 Which probably means nothing😍👍
#girl help i cant get out of bed i feel so so awful for no reason at all#literally my soul is gone or something#i have no desires and no joys and no sense of being blessed#which is crazy bc i love life and im so blessed ! usually.#ig i should do something abt it tomorrow if it doesn't get better#alternatively get back into therapy bc tbh... after that horrible sex thing ive felt kinda off#like even after i was able to eat and sleep and function normally without the tremors and head jerks and whatnot#like its not dramatic anymore but i kinda feel drained of life and joy#moments of genuine happiness and fulfillment are ... ? idk. i did feel happy once this week and that was nice but it didnt last obviously#but like ! im not depressed in a depressed way. i take good care of myself and i read my books and eat food and hang out with friends#i just kinda dont recognise myself ig. i mean i know ill get my spark back but maybe i need some professional help#idk !! it kinda feels very silly tho#like ive been in and out of therapy for more than half of my life. and being one year therapy free was a big step for me !#so going back for this little ridiculous freakout feels like a setback#kinda like im making up things to be wrong with me just so that ill have someone to talk to ? or to have attention idk#it doesn't make sense bc i really was proud for getting bettter and i rly dont want to be in therapy anymore#but who knows 🤷♀️#there is also this slight risk. just clinically speaking by purely looking at symptoms of certain things. with no stake in the matter! lol#that there might be something bad and [lets not think too hard about it] that lies as a root cause of my little mental breakdown#like according to my sex having friends losing your virginity is awful but not THAT awful and not in THAT way#and my friend kinda said i scared her with how i was acting when i talked to her abt it. like my demeanour and body language and whatever#and i do trust her to know whats normal versus concerning when i dont have my own stable grip of reality#plus. if i was an outside party and applied my psych education on myself. i would say its not looking super good#but i cant really do that bc im not some random patient. im me myself and I 😩✋️ thank you#but whatever. itll be fine. tomorrow will be a better day ! yay !
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just another diary entry obvs
#i still feel so sad#yk i mean i take things very deeply very personally im sure some people remember may '21 lol#but this is just very hard for me because im so confused#why would you let resentment build towards someone about something they dont even know theyre doing to bother you#to the point that youre hurting the other person and they dont even know why for the longest time#it hurts a lot it wasnt even addressed at all until i brought it up bcs i couldn't stand not knowing and yet feeling so hurt and confused#i needed to know it wasn't in my head and i was right#but now im second guessing everything they talked to me so normally said they care about me all the way up until the day before#but ive felt the distance for a while so do they love me like they said or was that not true#if they dont then im such an idiot i really care about them i really respect them and love them#idk im really hurting very badly#really stupid for a 25 yr old to feel so hurt because they annoyed someone#but i just wish it was addressed sooner and for someone who prides themselves on being open and honest and direct..#it feels like they maybe just didnt care enough to talk to me about it.#so yk maybe they dont care about me.#which also feels like an offensive conclusion to come to about them when they dont lie and value honesty and openness so much#i dont want to think they dont love me bcs i do think i know them pretty well i do think theyd never lie about that#but maybe ive only convinced myself of that because it would hurt far worse if they didnt#whatever anyways im so stupid and i know i must have fucked things up by being too much again.#ill leave them alone and the hurt will ease up eventually#their friendship has meant a lot to me theyve done a lot for me i dont want to lose it completely i really dont#i just dont regulate well how much i care for my friends and its too much sometimes its one of the worst things about me#but i genuinely want my friends to know theyre loved and thought of and cared about and i mean it#and i cant always tell when i hit overbearing so i fuck things up.#anyways i am sorry i made someone i care about feel overwhelmed and i regret that i made them uncomfortable for i dont even know how long#im hurt but thats the worst thing i couldve done#okay ill shut up now stop talking about it its just still fresh to me obviously cant talk abt it on twt and they dont follow me here#i needed to vent without my irl friends 'fuck them' attitude bcs theyre a good person and friend and it does feel like its only my fault#for the most part anyways minus yk the communication bit#but we'll circle back to the do they even count us friends doubts and we dont need that ill move on now needed to get it off my chest
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literally i am so sick of acne set me free from this hell already please why do i have to live in constant pain
#i feel like it's unfair that i didnt even get it til i was 18#like hello i am ADULT now why did i just get it then and not when i was in middle school or high school???#anyway fortunately my face is normally clear IT'S JUST MY BACK. IS SO AWFUL. AND IT ALWAYS HURTS#i get it so regularly where even just fabric touching it hurts :(((( and it's near constant#i need to go to the dermatologist again#idk why they stopped refilling my meds....they gave me meds for it. it didnt stop it but it helped#anyway guess who cant use accutane or anything like that cause she has IBD???? me.#anyway i do often breakout around my mouth/chin#but i believe that is from my pillow case so i try to change the case every other day#which i havent done lately so that's on me tbh#it also doesnt help with my imposter syndrom re:work because whenever i do have visible acne i feel sooooooo much younger than my coworkers#this is all in my head but i feel like people might take me less seriously if i have acne on my face since it makes me look even younger#anyway. i have sort of accepted my fate that my back and shoulders are all scarred and messed up now#so i try not to dwell on it when it comes to bathing suits or other things that would show it#cause if i dwell on it it might make me subconscious but if i DONT think about it then i am fine and not insecure LOL#i just wish it would stop hurting.......
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WHEN I MAKE IT... FUCKING BIG......
I realized that like if I finish college and get a good tech job I'll not only have more free time (bc no school lmfao) BUT I will have more money
Which would introduce the possibility of me getting commissions done for my fics. Which would be . A game changer .
#speculation nation#i have gotten. 3 commissions done in my life. total#for ocs lol. nico laima and fang.#ive contemplated getting one done for orcelito. bc it's the only fucking way im gonna get new art of him#but. BUT. if i end up with enough disposable income#FUCK traveling or any of that shit. no!!!!#i have no life!!!!! id rather just support my hobbies 😌#idk man just imagine my fic with some commissioned artwork lol#there r sometimes scenes i see so vividly in my head that i wish i could put it to paper#i dont have the skill rn nor the dedication to Develop that skill#so the next best thing would be to commission someone to do it for me#but. unfortunately. i do not have money.#but im getting closer and closer to finishing school. i feel like a rabid dog.#wish i didnt have to fucking WORK so i couldve just done school full time and NOT taken years longer than normal to finish#but nooooo i have to work to pay my way thru school And still work on school#stabbing high tuition with a knife. i mean i do have pretty low tuition bc in state tuition. but still#Stabbing With a Knife.#if i wasnt paying nearly $500 a month in installments ON TOP of rent and bills and food. id have so much more money#for things like placing commissions and buying that yusuke figma ive wanted for years now >:/#life is so hard. and i am so broke#i'll get there someday. i just need to not take any more fucking semesters off lmfao
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choked so hard swallowing my drink down the wrong way that I almost puked and I'm still kinda nauseous hours later, so lol. also, friend (the mutual work friend of me and my man that actually hangs out with him outside of work) witnessed and started saying something about how some people choke on things like that bad enough that it kinda spooks them from drinking and they get dehydrated out of paranoia (no idea if that's true, sounds fake but whatever, he's one of those people yk?) and my dumb ass, full of autism and pure thoughts only, said "damn, if that were a problem I wouldn't be able to put nothing in my mouth, my gag reflex is shit 😞😞" which has probably made it's way to my man. because I'm stupid and was really woozy from coughing til I almost vomited and totally didn't think of what I was saying.
#doesnt help that a few days ago we were all hanging out smoking#and i dont get high easy with others evidently but they all have MAJOR tolerance and experience and im baby#so i feel pretty mellow and dazed pretty quick when we do anything despite them all feeling almost nothing#(even though my man is very quick to tell me when something isnt even strong so idk what everyone else ive smoked with is smoking)#(because i hardly get the slightest bit chill from it any time i smoke with anyone else usually)#(but i digress)#and so i was higher than i mayhaps should have been from what i had because again hella baby#but i heard friend say *SOMETHING* that 100% had my name and i think had the word “head” in it#in like a whisper to my man who was sitting on the couch between us#and i was like “okay im feeling kinda dazed and shit and i have hearing issues and hes very much talking so i cant hear--”#“--so i shouldnt make assumptions on what he said because im probably REALLY mishearing what i did hear lol”#but then my man kinda glanced at me and made a noise (an almost laugh??) and said “nah not yet” quiet but not as much as a whisper as friend#so i do lowk wonder if i heard right lol#and if i did thats a whole other story#because pooki cmon#babygirl get real#i sleep over there not infrequently and we cuddle hella intertwined and kiss and all#ive told him that im stupid as fuck and have anxiety so i need things EXTRA communicated with me#ive hinted at kink#ive told him that i trust him fully not to force me to do anything that i dont wanna do and that as long as hell take no for an answer--#--id have no issue with him telling me what to do more often because i again trust him and would say no if i really didnt want to#(in nonsexual situations like him asking if i wanted to go run an errend with him or wait for him at his place and such)#that i was hoping hed be more confident in making a move by now#but im acespec and in zero rush because sex is take it or leave it to me#id do it for him and i really do want to but its so not a need or even much of a craving#but i might bring it up eventually if he doesnt because he is so sweet and cute and i think he just doesnt wanna assume#because he had to be told that its okay to kiss me and that he can and should talk to me at work like a normal person#so i deadass think he just doesnt want to force me into anything but is also bad at communicating so he doesnt really ask either#its just funny that i think they were talking about me giving head a few days ago and i choked and said something stupid today tho#whores lovesick musings
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hours earlier I reblogged that post about character projecting back onto my dash to remind myself of it, always a good post to have. I thought I had internalized that mindset years ago and was too understanding to be emotionally affected by opinions about relatable characters. but certain discord conversations were reminding me there are things I still need to work on.
See, when I hear people talk about how much they hate the character or want to torture them I'm like, rock on, great opinion. So I thought I had graduated away from reacting to perceived slights against character. but then today I saw people say the character would be bigoted in a certain way and my immediate reaction was to think something like. Wait, fuck, have I done something bigoted on accident, what was it, I need to know so I can apologize and never do it again. And then, I was able to get my head on straight and remember, wait, no, I didn't do anything, they aren't talking about me, they just have a different interpretation of a fictional character than me, which is completely fine.
at which point I stepped out for a bit because can you imagine if I had been dumb enough to make a scene in order to defend the honor of a character I projected onto when I was 15? that would be beyond laughable. but luckily. i remembered the post. and busied myself with going to find it to reblog it instead.
#see i think where I went wrong was I was cheating a bit#because people saying that character sucks and things would be better if they died painfully is also what they think of themself#so i think i accidentally didnt do the work of fully decoupling the character from myself#but actually was just like. “well they're right so it's fine.” oops! mistakes were made!#anyway. luckily i didnt say anything and to everyone who doesn't live in my head and seeing my thought processes everything seemed normal#so the only one who knows how embarrassing that whole moment is myself. lol.#step.personal
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hello ive always loved your fics since nijien days and now more into love and deepspace, specifically sylus (the pipeline is universal, i’m afraid) so now, i beg for stalker sylus who is obsessed with everything you do, will fuck you in an alleyway please, cnc and mindbreak, thank you 🙏🏻
"window watching."
pairings: sylus x m!reader
summary: sylus can only take so much of your teasing before he breaks. unfortunately for you, his methods aren't so nice.
tw: NONCON, stalking, obsessive behavior, size diff., frottage, sph (if you squint), praise. implied kidnapping, handjobs, choking, coercion, dacryphilia etc.
notes: see how i didnt add stalker to the front of his name? i genuinely think he would stalk the shit out of you and it doesnt need to be an au, lol.
in all seriousness, i hope you enjoy it. i'm getting back into the swing of things... probably a bit ooc and doesnt follow the game lore (too much, that is).
im uploading this while sick, so i apologize for any mispellings/mistakes/etc.
please let me know what you think!
stalker sylus who cannot, at first much to his dismay, keep his eyes off of you.
everywhere you go, every time you think you have a sliver of privacy: he's always watching. whether its mephisto or one of the twins, he needs to know what you're doing at all times. taking note of what stores you visit, what time you usually come home, who you talk to. it becomes an urge he cant quite satisfy.
at first, he only watched out of boredom. yea sure, he needed you alive, so keeping note of your location was just another one of his duties. someone as naive and reckless as yourself was bound to get into trouble.
but gradually it gets worse.
"where are you off to now, kitten?" mumbling to himself, the man swipes across his phone screen, watching surveillance cameras with a bated breath as you walked home. your figure was a bit blurry, but that didn’t stop sylus as he watched intently. it was nothing truly unusual. around this time, you'd be already cozied up in bed, but it seems like work made you stay overtime tonight. "idiots.." sylus's brow furrowed slightly at the thought of you overworking yourself.
before you, he didn't care much for romance. friendship, trivial things: he thought those were what made a person weak.
but now?
every little thing you do drives him mad. the way you carefully fold your clothes after finishing your laundry to make sure your room stays clean. how you always greet the cashier at the nearby convenience store with a smile, thanking them for bagging your items. how long you take a shower for, which coffee shop is your favorite, even down to the type of shampoo and conditioner you use daily: sylus had it all down to a science. he practically knew everything about you.
even then, a question still rang through his mind. why would you waste your time with all of these other men?
he knew about that strange doctor who's gaze lingered on yours a little too long for his liking. sylus felt his fist clench when he would watch you talk to that painter too, jaw clenching in annoyance when he would see you walk home or to work with that blonde boy.
he shook his head, trying to snap out of his own thoughts. this wasn't about them. right now, this was about you.
it was another evening with you winding down after a long day of work. a tired sigh leaves your lips, and sylus’s cock throbs watching you undress as you slowly slip off your shirt. was it normal to be staring at another man like this? watching from cameras could only do so much, so this time, the villain found himself on a roof adjacent to your window. thankfully, you were too stupid a majority of the time to close the blinds, so he had a nice view of your nightly routine.
...which was mostly boring to watch, if he's being honest. you walked around shirtless for a moment, putting away your work gear and leaving your shoes by the door. it was a whole lot of nothing for a good 15 minutes, leaving sylus to rethink his choices for the night.
sitting on the cold bricks of the adjacent roof, he couldn't help feeling just a tinge of shame. "how pathetic, watching afar like some sort of pervert. i should just go in there and.." he scoffed, eyes narrowing in what seemed to be.. annoyance? the leader of onychinus hated chasing his prey like some sort of weakling. he was better than this. he deserved to have you in his arms, no matter what you thought or said.
however, his words abruptly came to a stop when your fingers trailed to the hem of your pants.
dark red eyes stared deeply at your hands as they softly pushed at the fabric of your boxers. languid fingertips played with the fabric, yawning as your thumbs hooked against the waistband and began to pull. further and further, pulling ever so slightly to show off a bit of your happy trail, the base of your cock threatening to peek for unwanted visitors to gawk at. sylus could feel himself leaning closer, the distance between the roof and your window suffocating as more of your skin was exposed.
almost, that is, before an imaginary light bulb in your head went off and you quickly took your hands out of your pants. "shit, i forgot to pick up dinner on my way home. i should do that now before i go to bed," you thought to yourself, whisking away from the window and grabbing a plain shirt to throw on. reaching for your keys and wallet, you opened the door and left your apartment as usual, unbeknownst of the dangerous man watching your every step.
sylus's own hands were nearly trembling. the ache and tent in his pants didn't help either, feverishly getting up and following you as you made your way into linkon city. he didn't have to ask mephisto or the twins to follow you - thankfully, the rooftops gave sylus a clear view of the streets below, and he could spot you out from anywhere. the man didnt bother to speed up either, knowing which store you were going to (you were very predictable, after all).
he also knew that there's a convenient dark alleyway just before you would turn the corner to go to the establishment. unfortunately, this vital piece of information slipped your mind, leaving you completely unaware and unguarded as rough hands yanked you into the darkness.
"mmph-!" you tried to scream, the hand covering your mouth muffling your pleas. even though you worked out and were pretty fit because of your hunter lifestyle, your strength was nothing compared to the man hovering above you, wriggling to no avail.
"shh, kitten. you wouldn't want anyone to hear us, would you?" the older man mocked, relishing in the fear and befuddlement in your eyes. it took a second for you to process that the other man was none other than sylus himself, smirking as you squirmed in his grasp. red eyes bore into yours, filing you with fear that rose every second. why did he have you pinned in some dirty alleyway like a thief? surely it wasn't money he was after.
the leader moved his hand from his mouth to your neck, holding you in place as you gasped for air. "s-sylus? what are you doing here?!" crying out, your body couldn't struggle anymore, so you opted for your hands gripping his wrist and trying to pull it off of your neck. "what does it look like im doing?" he scoffed, leaning in close to your ear.
"im here to see you, of course."
brow furrowing, you looked at him in confusion as you took in your surroundings. "a dark, dingy alleyway?" you thought aloud, looking him up and down. sylus fixed his posture as he looked down at you, your size difference becoming more obvious by the second. "oh, did you want me to come and knock on your door instead? i apologize, sweetie. you should've told me you wanted the big bad leader of onychinus inside your little headquarters." his grin infuriated you as you rolled your eyes.
before you could think of a clever rebuttal, sylus wedged his knee in between your legs, parting them open as his thigh pressed against your crotch. "i-i dont.." you muttered, voice raising in pitch to pair with your nervousness as he kissed your neck. he didn't bother answering your silly questions, simply smiling before biting into your shoulder. you hissed in pain, trying to push him off even more than before.
"you don't what, love?" his voice isn't serious at all for the situation you're in. cold skilled hands fiddled with your zipper, freezing for just a moment before gripping onto your girth. the sensation made you cry out again, unable to hide your face from your attacker, tears pricking at the corners of your eyes. sylus coo'ed at your feeble attempts to push him away, unbuttoning and pulling out his own cock to hold against yours.
looking down, the size comparison of his cock against yours made your face feel warm. ""aww, look at you sweetie. you're all bark but no bite." the older man laughed again, fingertip circling the head of your cock as he teased you. you loathed the way you shuddered at his snide remarks, the sound of the bustling city just feet away making you panic again.
you raised your voice, "sylus, this isn't funny anymore, seriously! cut it out!".
the wordless tension spoke volumes.
sylus didn't laugh or comment on your refusal. instead, his grip on your neck only grew tighter, choking you against the wall as his other hand started to make a fist around both of your cocks. "do you see me laughing?" his tone was firm as he squeezed harder on your throat. you couldn't say anything back, choking out a sob as he slowly began to jerk you both off together, a low moan slipping from his lips.
"ive wanted this for so long, kitten. so fucking long." muttering, he continued to grind his hips against yours, the unwanted pleasure making your head spin. "i've had enough watching from afar. i think its finally time i get what i want, right?" he kissed the tip of your ear, toying with the cartilage between his teeth.
unable to believe what was happening, you could only cry out more strings of "please", "stop", "no": all music to sylus's ears. "you don't really want me to stop, right? look at how much your cock is leaking onto mine.." he chuckled lowly again, grabbing the back of your neck to force your gaze downwards.
he wasn't wrong, either - dribbling precum and throbbing the entire session, your dick looked just as eager as sylus's, twitching with every flick of his wrist. it wasn't your fault that sylus was way more experienced compared to you. whining, you shook your head again, trying to close your eyes shut so you wouldn't remember any of this. the outside world was so dangerously close, and anyone could catch you two at any moment. how disgraceful it would be: a well known hunter being caught rubbing cocks with the renowned leader of onychinus. you frowned at the thought, whimpering as sylus went back to kissing your bruised neck.
"you could come with me, yknow. back to the n109 zone, i'd take such good care of you." sylus whispered as he felt himself inch closer to his own release, hand pumping furiously between you two. hot tears streamed down your cheeks, your brain awry with the overwhelming sensations of pleasure and pain. "you could have anything you wanted. you wouldn't have to work another day in your life." he groaned, balls tightening at the thought of his own perverse fantasy, imagining you kept in his bedroom all day just for him to use.
"d-don't, sylus please -" you hiccuped, forehead resting on sylus shoulder as he toyed with you. "im gonna cum," sobbing as you held onto his biceps, not wanting to sink any further against the dirty alleyway wall. with so much teasing and dirty whispers from the other, you couldn't think straight, practically panting in sylus's ear as his hands jerked you both off closer and closer.
growling, sylus slotted his lips against yours, a surprisingly gentle kiss before muttering under his breath. "be a good boy and cum for me then," using your fluids as lube, the squelch of his tight fist jerking off your cock made you spill. moaning loudly, your nails dug into his arm as thick ropes of semen poured out, mixing with his load that came seconds after.
silence filled the space between both of you as you tried to catch your breath. your eyelids felt heavy, leaning onto sylus for full support as he rubbed your back. you couldn't quite process what just happened, brain feeling much too fuzzy for any thinking right now.
perhaps it was a mix of exhaustion from your normal workday and your encounter that made you pass out on the older man's shoulder. nonetheless, he was not going to let this opportunity go to waste. pressing onto the comms headpiece in his ear, sylus spoke as quietly as he could not to disturb you.
"luke, kieran, bring one of the cars to my location. i have a little kitten coming home with me today."
#sylus x male reader#sylus x reader#sylus x you#love and deepspace sylus#love and deepspace x male reader#love and deepspace x reader#love and deepspace x m!reader#sylus x m!reader#male reader#m!reader#mlm blog#male reader blog#my fics..#x male reader#lads sylus#lads x reader#lads x male reader
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not sure if you’ve done this before, i’m sorry if you have but svt and their s/o fighting bc of a misunderstanding?
fighting because of a misunderstanding
content: established relationship, mentions of arguments, pettiness, angst but nothing too serious, etc.
wc: 790
a/n: since this was such a general idea i went in a different direction with all of them and how they'd react if you or he had a misunderstanding and then it led to a fight. hope u enjoy <3
masterlist
seungcheol -
he seems super stubborn so i think that if he misunderstanding was on his side, he'd try to brush it off and pretend he didn't realize what the issue was. would try and drag it as long as possible due to embarrassment at his mistake, but it'd just create a bigger fight. eventually, though, he'd swallow his pride and admit fault.
jeonghan -
he'd gaslight you the entire argument and end up winning ... just kidding he'd actually be really open to admitting his faults and excusing you in your own T-T even if it had all been caused bc of a misunderstanding he'd still be willing to talk it through and resolve it. would NEVER go to bed if u guys hadnt resolved things.
joshua -
he's so annoyinjwhdjsks i think he'd be super annoying in fights so he'd take any bit of ammunition he could get. whether the misunderstanding was on his part or not, he'd still somehow argue it to his advantage. if things got out of hand, he'd wave the white flag and call a truce.
jun -
just confused the whole time. had he missed something or done something without realizing? his first instinct would be to be apologetic (even if he didnt fully understand how this argument had come to be). if he at some point realized either you or him had simply misunderstood the other, he'd just let it go, being content that you had already resolved it.
soonyoung -
lol i think he'd immediately act like wounded puppy the moment he realized that a fight had formed between the two of you. would do gymnastics in his head trying to figure out how you got here, only to realize that it had all been due to some misunderstanding between the two of you. he wouldnt care who was to blame, he'd just take responsibility if it meant the two of you could cuddle again.
wonwoo -
he's so in touch with his emotions and such an empathetic soul that i cant even imagine a fight breaking out with him, even if it was caused by a misunderstanding. like jeonghan, he'd be super open to talking it out and would never try to antagonize you during fights. had it all been caused by a misunderstanding, he'd still be very calm and understanding about it all, even taking blame if necessary.
jihoon -
gives me the vibe that he'd rather ice you out than actually get into a fight. this would, of course, only make things worse. he'd stand his ground, though, convincing himself that it'd be better to wait for you to go to him. after a few days of silence for both sides, he'd realize his mistake and have to crawl back to you with an apology.
seokmin -
would be so disheartened at the concept of fighting in the first place lol. he'd be willing to get on his knees to stop whatever argument was going on. he'd take on the blame of any misunderstanding if it made you happy.
mingyu -
another wounded puppy. would pout and whine and not really take the fight seriously, just wanting things to go back to normal so that he could hold you. would apologize for any fault of his and entice you into forgetting about whatever misunderstanding had come up.
minghao -
not sure if this is an unpopular opinion but i feel like he might be a lil bit stubborn when it comes to arguments. he might let his emotions get the best of him (he's a scorpio ..) and need some time to cool off before having a productive conversation. he'd have to hold himself back a bit in the case of a misunderstanding but would still never be mean nor disrespectful during fights.
seungkwan -
if for some reason you had picked a fight with him due to a misunderstanding on your part, he'd never let you live it down. would bring this up in future arguments (lightheartedly obviously!!) to give himself an advantage in any fight. would claim you had a previous record of being wrong.
vernon -
he's too chill to ever get into a serious fight. he'd be willing to admit fault pretty easily, but he'd also stand his ground when necessary. whenever a misunderstanding came up, he'd try to be the voice of reason and be open to criticism.
chan -
lol have you seen him when he banters with his members? he never backs down and he'd give you the same treatment. would argue til the end, even if things ended up getting a bit heated. in the end, though, he would calm down and understand that misunderstandings such as these needed to be taken care of with more tact and would apologize if he got too intense.
#seventeen fanfic#seventeen x reader#svt fanfic#svt x reader#seventeen#seventeen imagine#svt#seventeen oneshot#svt oneshot#seventeen scenarios#svt scenarios#seventeen reactions#svt reactions
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stupid in love
♡ huh yunjin ﹒ gender neutral!idol!reader, kinda implied lsf 6th member!reader genre fluff, a tiny bit of angst/slice of life warnings secret relationship, i never explicitly mention fem reader but it is slightly implied with the 6th reader + implied homophobia, several taylor swift references and one very very vague beabadoobee reference lol note if you’re new here, i dont (normally) write for lsf but ive been waiting for this song to come out and it finally did so here this is very self indulgent lol. takes place in an alternate universe where there was a kcon in france for kcon europe 🤷♀️ also no i didnt look up time differences in korea and france ( library )
“Wow, this place is even more beautiful in person,” you hum, latching onto Yunjin’s free hand with your own that wasn’t preoccupied holding your small backpack. It was night time in Paris, France, by the time you and the other girls arrived. The next day would be Kcon, which you were excited to see the other idol groups perform, even a few of your favorites were there.
The black haired girl couldn’t help but smile at the content look on your face, trying her hardest to resist the urge to squeeze your cheeks and kiss you senseless. She was well aware of the cameras focused on the two of you, and forced herself to subtly slide her hand out of yours. It seemed the media never stopped working, either.
Glancing at her, you ignore her action before following behind Chaewon as she begins to lead the rest of you to the company car. As usual, the two of you pile in the car last, lagging behind for the other girls to get in before you. Chaewon sits in the passenger seat while Eunchae and your manager sit in the front row and Sakura and Kazuha in the middle row.
As the car begins to roll forward, your head leans on her shoulder as Eunchae began filming a video on a camera for the experience. Yunjin doesn’t pay the camera any mind, knowing everything but Eunchae would be blurred out in the final cut, and you two probably weren’t even in the shot, anyway. In the privacy of the car with the members, she intertwines her fingers with yours, laying them in your lap. Her head turns, lips brushing against the inside of your wrist where the tattoo of the moon was before she leans her head back on yours. Her free hand feels the smoothness of her own wrist where her sun tattoo was.
With you falling asleep on her, she was able to put in her earbuds and put her playlist on shuffle. One of her favorites, Paper Rings, started to play and she smiled slightly but genuinely, immediately being reminded of you— and the dream she had of you last night.
Normally, she could never remember her dreams but this one, she immediately wrote it down when she woke up. Maybe it was a vision, or a version of you and her in another universe, she didn’t know. But she remembered the feeling of nervousness and anticipation as she kneeled down in front of you, the ecstasy when you said yes, and the comfort and love she felt for you for the rest of your lives.
While the dream did make her want to kick her feet and giggle like a kid, it made her die a little inside because she knew she’d never be able to have that with you. Not when the world was the way it was. Neither of you would ever have a career again, you wouldn’t be able to do the things you loved like you were doing right now. And yeah, she loved performing and singing, she loved the fans, she loved the girls, her life couldn’t be more perfect— but she was pretty sure she loved you more than anything else.
It got her thinking as she got ready for the flight to France, that maybe she could indulge in her dreams a bit, even if it was just nonsense talking. She just wants to know that you feel the same way, too. That you’re in this for the long run, just like her.
The thought remains in her head for the rest of the ride to the hotel, dodging fans waiting in the front of the hotel as you head in through the back. Like usual, you and Yunjin are roommates. Taking the key card with a smile, the other girls watch you two rush off with childish giggles leaving your mouths.
It’s not until the two of you are laying in the queen sized bed that she brings it up. She’s playing with a strand of your hair, trying to focus on you as you ramble on about all the things you want to do while in Paris. She knows she should focus, but all she can think about is her dream and that damn Taylor song. Goddamn Taylor and her musical ability.
“Jen,” your soft touch to her jaw makes her eyes snap towards yours, and she goes to hold it, keeping your hand there. “What’s wrong? You’ve been distant all day.”
“Nothing’s wrong,” she shakes her head, shuffling closer to you as one of your legs intertwined with hers. “Just been thinking.”
“About?” You playfully press, raising brows like you knew the answer already. She wouldn’t be surprised if you did.
Yunjin laughs, “About a thing or two.” She presses a clumsy kiss to what she hoped were your lips in the dark, but manages to miss and kiss your chin. “Sorry.”
“Don’t be,” you murmur, eyes glancing down at her lips, “A kiss is a kiss.”
A comfortable silence follows, just staring at each other before she speaks up, “I had a dream last night. An epiphany, if you will.” She slide glances at you, “Eureka!” The two of you burst into giggles, before she sobers up quickly, continuing her train of thought before she lost the confidence, “And it was a really, really good dream. It’s like my number one wish.”
You smile, “Yeah? What happened? Did you do a collab with Taylor Swift? I had a dream like that once.”
“We got married,” she quickly rushes out before she can talk herself out of it. Your silence makes her heart ache, but what did she really expect?
“What was the wedding like?” Whatever she expected you to say— was not that.
Her mouth opens and closes at your question, feeling her heart warm at the expectant, loving look on your face. You didn’t shy away from her, or close off, like she expected. It was like you wanted it, too. She smiles shyly, tracing shapes on the back of your hand, “Good music. We looked really good. We danced to Lover,” she laughs, and you did, too. “All of our friends were there. Family, too. Lots of flowers, pastel colors. I cry during my vows. You cry, too. Just a bunch of snot and tears. I loved it.”
“So do I,” you whisper, eyes seemingly glistening in the dark.
Yunjin’s eyes search yours for something, and when she finds it, she says without hesitation, “Let’s get married in Vegas.”
You smile a mixture of bashfulness and sadness, “I wish.”
“We don’t really need anyone else,” she murmurs, scooting closer to you, your noses almost touching now. “No guest list. Just you and me.”
“Whose last name would we take?” You whisper quietly, closing your eyes to imagine it.
She keeps her eyes open, staring straight at you unwaveringly, “Anyone’s. I don’t care, we can keep our last names, or combine, just as long as you’re mine and I’m yours.”
“I’m yours and you’re mine with or without a piece of paper, baby,” you smile, opening your eyes back open to fiddle with her necklace.
Yunjin’s smile grows bigger as yours does, both of you leaning in at the same time to press your lips together in a soft but meaningful kiss. You linger a second after you pull back, scattering small kisses over her face and making her laugh slightly.
“I think Chaewon would kill us if we even tried to elope,” you pull back, laughing at the memory of the leader yelling. “Like she did when we got those matching tattoos without telling anyone last year.” God, the tweets about the tattoos were hilarious. “But it’s a fun thought.”
“I’ll save it for our Pinterest board,” Yunjin grins when your eyes dart to hers in a bit of shock. She laughs, “What?”
“You have a Pinterest board for us?” Your voice is soft as you ask, finding it endearing. She sheepishly nods, and you laugh softly, pressing a kiss to her nose, “Cute. I wanna see.”
She’s hesitant to agree, but with quick thinking on her feet, she manages to grab your attention with, “Wait, after I make you a ring out of paper.” She sits up, hastily pulling her bag over to her for a piece of paper. She seems to serious and into her task that it makes you giggle a bit, making her brows relax as she glances up away from her bag. “What? I know it’s not an actual ring, but—”
You cut her off by curling your fingers around the collar of her shirt, pulling her down to you with a large “umph!” leaving her mouth as she crashes down into your body. She goes to push herself up but you grab her face, pulling her lips to yours and she easily stops, leaning all of her weight on you and deepening the kiss. Your hand trails to the back of her head, smoothing it down until your finger wraps a strand of her hair around your finger. You pull back, a string of saliva connecting you to her like an invisible red string of fate.
You grin, swiping the string away with a finger, “I’m so stupid in love with you, Jennifer. You’d be the crazy one to think I’d say no.”
“Everyone thinks you’re the crazy one, actually,” she murmurs, shaking her head lightly before pulling you in for another kiss. “Guess we’re the perfect pair, huh?”
#kflixnet#k films#k labels#le sserafim#huh yunjin#jennifer huh#yunjin#le sserafim imagines#le sserafim scenarios#le sserafim fluff#kpop girl group#kpop girl group imagines#huh yunjin imagines#huh yunjin scenarios
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i hope you're having a better day today! 🫶🏽
just kind of sitting here wondering about miguel and shy, nerdy larusso reader 😭 Very much in my head about miguel being head over heels for sam, until reader shows up (was out sick or something lol) and she's fully friends with all the nerds & miguel's like "why didnt you guys tell me about her?" and dem & eli are just like "idk 🤷🏻♂️ shes one of us?"
Maybe she's self conscious because she's bigger than her sister and has always felt like the second choice ?? Idk today is just a soft miguel kind of day for me lol would love to hear your thoughts if you have any!
- 🌼
"why didn't you tell me about her?" is such a mood tho.
Miguel comes to school, sees Sam and is kind of crushing. But the next day, Reader joins him, Eli, and Demetri at their table like "hey guys, sorry I was out. No one bothered you, did they?" and Miguel is absolutely lovestruck. She looks at Miguel and he's just staring until she waves at him with a cute smile.
"Hi."
"Hey."
They all talk about nerdy things like video games and comics, and the guys inform Reader on what she missed, which wasn't much. It's a fun time. It's great.
When she gets up to get another drink, Miguel looks at his new friends and is like "guys wtf!" and all Demetri has to say for himself is "Well, you were gonna meet her eventually, I didn't think telling you about her was all that important."
"Yeah, but she's totally hot and likes the same stuff as us, and you didn't think that was important?" Miguel asks.
Their conversation about it is cut short by Reader coming back and resuming the previous conversation. Miguel thinks that she's so cool.
Meanwhile, Reader isn't totally in love with herself. She constantly feels compared to her sister, especially as school. Sam is pretty and popular and has a lot of pretty and popular friends. She and Sam are so different body-wise as well that it's no wonder she gets so much more attention from guys. Reader would actually think Miguel is into Sam for a while, so she'd only look at him as a friend because she doesn't want to get hurt.
However, her feelings are uncontrollable. She falls for Miguel more and more with each passing day and they bond over karate. She doesn't tell him that her dad hates Cobra Kai or that Johnny is her dad's high school bully because she thinks that has nothing to do with their friendship. They will do karate in their free time, though, and that brings them closer together. They do other stuff together, too, like studying, playing video games, going to the movies; normal friend things., but she can't help but wish they were more.
Her insecurities around her body get revealed when they're watching a movie together and she accidentally lets it slip that she wishes she could look like the pretty actress on screen. Miguel is shocked by the admission and Reader becomes embarrassed. "You're beautiful just the way you are," he tells her and she shakes her head, mentioning how the pretty version of her is Sam. Then she excuses herself to refill their popcorn and Miguel is left to think about what she said. Oh how he wishes she saw herself the way he sees her.
Because he thinks she's so beautiful, inside and out, because her smile is shining and her laughter is angelic. She's smart and kind and sweet and nerdy in the best way possible. And she can do karate! What more could he ever want in a girl? So what if she's got some extra meat on her bones? he doesn't care about that. in fact, he'd say that's something he loves about her because no matter what body she's in, she's amazing. And he might wanna cuddle up and hold all of her close and give her extra fat a squeeze or two.
All he has to do it tell her he likes her and ask her out... but how?
#🌼 anon#larusso!reader#nerdy!reader#miguel diaz x chubby reader#miguel diaz x reader#miguel diaz headcanons#miguel diaz imagine#miguel diaz#cobra kai#cobra kai headcanons#cobra kai x reader#cobra kai x chubby reader#cobra kai x plus size reader#chubby reader#plus size reader#gemini sensei
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