#anyways i am sorry i made someone i care about feel overwhelmed and i regret that i made them uncomfortable for i dont even know how long

[666writingcafe]

Asmo's Wish

What were you thinking about around the time the charm took effect?

"Do you remember the time we went to the bar?" I ask MC, who grimaces.

"Why do you want to bring that up? I made a complete fool out of myself that night!"

"Not before the Demonus came. But that's not what I want to talk about." There's a part of me that's hesitant to continue. I've been thinking about this for a while now, even though I know I shouldn't. It's not like it's worked before, so why would it work now?

"Asmo?" I sigh.

"Right. Sorry. Anyway, as we were chatting, I brought up a theory I had about why I seemed unable to charm you." MC nods their head.

"You thought that my power overwhelmed yours."

"Yeah. I was wondering if that was still true or not."

"You want to charm me." The slightly disapproving look in MC's eyes makes me regret saying anything. Why couldn't I wish for a new outfit or makeup set?

"Please, MC. I promise I won't do anything untoward."

"Your wish is my command." The two of us sit on the floor, facing each other with our legs crossed.

"Look into my eyes." MC does as instructed, and I allow myself to venture inside their mind.

The key to charming someone this way is to find one of their hidden fantasies and gently coax it out into the open. By assuring them that I will fulfill it exactly as they've imagined, I gain their trust, and they willingly submit to me.

After a few moments of exploring MC's thoughts, I feel something trying to pull me in a certain direction. Following it leads me to what appears to be a blank space, leaving me confused. Are they doing this on purpose in order to keep me away?

But then I hear it. A murmur so soft that anyone untrained wouldn't be able to pick up on it.

"You're stuck."

"Huh?" Oops. Did not mean to say that out loud. Now I've confused MC.

"You don't have to answer if you don't want to, but do you find it hard to express your emotions?" Their eyes widen, and they slowly nod their head.

"They're something I've never been comfortable sharing," they explain. "They can get rather intense, and I don't want to make people uncomfortable and drive them away by not keeping them in check." Hearing that makes my heart ache. In that moment, they remind me so much of myself, especially when I was an angel.

I have spent hundreds of years struggling to accept my emotions for what they are and feel confident enough to share them without fear of rejection. It's a challenge to overcome, and there are still days where I shut people out because I don't want them to hurt me.

I would never wish this upon my worst enemy, let alone someone I care deeply about.

"It's okay to experience the full extent of your emotions sometimes," I tell MC. "It's not good to attempt to keep them bottled up inside you forever, because it always ends up backfiring. I'm not saying that you should cry in the middle of a lecture or anything like that, but you're safe here." I reach forward and grab their hands. "None of us will judge you harshly for having feelings, MC. We may poke and prod to figure out what's bothering you, but that's only because we love you and want to help you in any way we can."

"Really?"

"Really. How can we hold you to a standard that we ourselves fail to reach? That wouldn't be very fair of us, especially since we're Avatars of Sin. Most of our actions, if not all of them, are driven by our emotions." I pause to give MC time to fully process my words.

"I am so proud of you, MC," I continue. "You have achieved so much in such a short amount of time, and you've not let any of it change who you are. It's one of the many, many things I admire about you."

And just like that, the wall breaks down. I see the same thoughts I did when I was helping MC overcome the effects of the syrup, but this time they're not just words.

I can see everything.

Vividly.

They imagine things with all of us, not just one or two people.

As much as I want to dissect each and every fantasy that they have, I need to keep my promise. I have no intention on driving them mad with desire.

[strangerthingslover69]

Your Russian Professor ~ part 1

You have recently joined Hawkins University and are studying Russian, you’ve always love the language and wanted to learn it you also thought it was kind of sexy. It’s your first day and you take the empty seat at the front ready to learn. Only one small problem. You can not stop undressing your professor with your mind No warnings ~ Just inappropriate thoughts and flirting, definitely sexual tension ~

Your alarm goes off at 6:30am, it’s a Monday, looking a bit gloomy outside but nothing can put a dampener in your day. Today is your first day at Hawkins university. You moved into the dorms last week so you could get settled into your new home for the next few months. You’ve picked to study Russian. You’ve always been fascinated with Russia since you were little, your grandparents were from there and they use to tell you stories about their homeland. Your favourite ones included the snow, you were born and raised in LA so never really experienced snow. It sounded magical.

You got up and headed to your shower, you somehow had managed to get a room just for yourself so you could be as free as you wanted. After your shower you got dressed, you wanted to look nice but feel comfy so you went for a a pair of black ripped jeans that complimented your curves and a simple tank top with a zip up hoodie, you put on your trainers and was ready for your day. Before you went to class as it was still early you walked to the cafeteria to grab some breakfast. You opted for some yogurt with granola and berries and a coffee. As you sat down and started to eating your breakfast you browsed your Russian language book. Even though your grandparents are from Russia you never learnt it, you regretted that. You tried to but would get frustrated and confused as it looked all jumbled up. But this year you decided to crack on and attempt to learn it properly. Once your breakfast was finished you put your book into your bag and got up to put away your dishes. As you stood up you turned quickly and bumped into someone spilling the remaining of your coffee down them. You were mortified. Day one and you do this well done Y/N.

‘Shitting hell, I am so sorry! I’ll pay for any dry cleaning.’ You say in a hurry gathering a clean tissue from your pocket trying to clean the mess you’ve made. ‘Don’t worry, accidents happen’ a hand grabs your wrist to get you to stop rubbing his shirt, you are really just making it worse. You look up at the mystery person who you’ve covered in coffee. It’s a man who you think is his late 30’s or early 40’s. The bluest eyes you’ve ever seen and what you think is a quite strong Russian accent. You had to look up quite a bit you were only 5 foot and he was at least 6 foot. ‘Sorry, I should have been more careful’ you say in a small voice. The man takes the tissue from your hand and gives you a reassuring smile, ‘do not worry, honest. I didn’t like this shirt much anyway’ he said with a chuckle. ‘You best get to your class, they’re starting in 5 minutes.’ He said pointing to the clock. ‘Oh shitting hell, great first impression me being late, sorry again!’ You said as you were about to leave. ‘Miss…?’ The man asks. ‘Y/L/N’ you reply. ‘Miss Y/L/N, you need your bag no?’ He asks taking it from the table and passing it to you. ‘Shit, sorry…again. Thank you!’ You say taking it from his hand, you make a quick exit and head to you class. ‘Well done Y/N great start’ you say to yourself. You reach your classroom door, guess the teacher is late too you think to yourself you sigh with relief. Looking around the room as you walk in there’s one empty seat at the front. Of course there is. You plonk yourself down, the classroom isn’t too big so not overwhelming, maybe only holding 20 of you. You fumble into your bag and pull out your book setting it down on your desk. ‘Sorry I’m late, had a little spillage on the way. (Gesturing to his shirt) But never mind here now, доброе утро класс‘ (good morning class) you look up and instantly recognise the beautiful blue eyed man who you bumped into only 10 minutes ago. You can feel yourself going red, hoping no one will notice. He sets down his bag and books in the table, taking off his blazer. You can see his muscles through his sleeves, it hugs them quite nicely. He hasn’t seen you just yet. He turns to the chalk board and writes Professor Antonov. As his arm writes the letters you can’t help but look at his physique. His trousers tucked into his shirt, they are quite tight to on his bum. You wonder how good he’d look with nothing. Your mind snaps back to reality when he turns around scanning the classroom. His eyes meet yours, you shift uncomfortably in your seat. He gives you a warm smile, it helps you relax but not for long.

‘Each week you will have five key words to remember, you will need to remember how to pronounce them correctly and write them correctly.’ He turns around to write five words on the chalk board. He beings to read them out, ‘Привет, школьный класс, Америка, учиться and Извините‘ these are the five words I would like you to memorise, hello, classroom, America, learn and sorry’ he says sorry looking at you with a smile. You are definitely the same colour as a tomato now. You wonder if that last word was planned or a last minute change? As you write down the words in English you try to also copy the Russian lettering but are struggling. You continue anyway, there’s no way you’d be able to ask for help. Not from him, you really don’t know how you are going to make it through this class. He is so distracting with everything he does. The way he moves around owning the room. The way he speaks in English with his sexy accent and then his Russian native tongue, you are feeling very flustered so much so you have to take off you jacket. As professor Antonov is telling you about your assignment (to write a piece in Russian about yourself) you lean forward your chest resting on your arms pushing you boobs up revealing more cleavage. You didn’t notice this but he sure did. You see his eyes wonder down to your chest then quickly looking away as he finishes the class. ‘So you all understand? Good. Assignments needed by the end of this week, I need to see how well you are starting and to see if anyone needs any one to one help.’ He says as he dismisses you all from class. He sits down in his chair and you get your belongs together. You wrap your jacket around your waist and hesitantly make your way over to his desk once everyone has left. ‘Excuse me, Professor?’ He looks up at you with those dreamy eyes. ‘Everything okay Miss Y/L/N?’ His voice sends goosebumps all over your body, you wrap your arms around you self hoping your hard nipples don’t peek through. ‘I-I just wanted to apologise again for this morning. I can send your shirt to the dry cleaners o-or I can buy you another one’ you offer. Professor Antonov chuckles and stands up leaving his desk to stand in front of you. His hands lifts up and he puts it on your shoulder, ‘don’t worry about it. Honestly. I’ve got plenty more’ you shiver at his touch. ‘холод? (Cold) he asks as he clearly seen you shiver. You look at him confused but before you ask what it means he takes your backpack off your shoulders on pops it onto this desk. He reaches around your waist and unties your jacket. His hands brush past your hips making you shiver again. He knows exactly what effect he has on you. He knows you’ve only just met. He knows your his student. He knows the at least fifteen years older but he doesn’t seem to care. He lifts your jacket and places it onto your shoulders. Then he passes you your bag. ‘There you go Miss Y/L/N, nice and warm.’ He says to you as he leans on his desk to sit upon it. He takes out a post it note and pen and write something down on it. He passes the note to you. ‘This is my email. In case you need any help. No disrespect but you looked a little lost today ягниться (lamb) Email anytime and I will get back to you as soon as possible. Okay?’ You nod taking the note, ‘thank you Professor.’ He leans in a little closer to you ear. ‘Please call me Dmitri.’

[eristic-kaleidoscope]

Strawberry Fields Forever || Ae-ra Cha Epilogue

When Ae-ra had first made the decision, she thought that when this moment came, she’d be more conflicted. How was one meant to react when their existence was set to be erased? When it was moments away from falling into decay? And yet, now that it was here, Ae-ra just felt a sense of peace. Serene.

Although her existence had been exploited, in this brief moment of freedom, she had the choice to end it. And that was a decision she had yet to regret.

But still, the choice itself was easy. The goodbyes would not.

Ae-ra surprisingly didn’t feel any anxiety about being erased, but she found herself shuffling as she waited for the arrival of her guests. She felt a little bit guilty. It would be a miserable sight. Yet they wanted to be there in her final moments anyway.

The first was her brother.

He’d visited a few times in the last few months. It had been awkward, at first. It was her, but also not. He was still grieving the real Ae-ra, yet still had to come face to face with a fragment of her. Still, he visited every time she asked. And he always treated her with the same tenderness he’d always treated her living counterpart.

It was a relief. She knew she wasn’t the real Ae-ra. Not really, but to get to experience that same familial love, she was grateful.

When she saw Ha-neul, her heart swelled with affection and she went in for the embrace. She held her brother in her arms tightly. It was a marvel how real this digital world felt. He didn’t push her away, instead returning the hug with a tenderness meant for someone else.

“Oppa, I’m glad you’re here,” Ae-ra said. It had only been a moment, but she already felt overwhelmed by emotion. This would be the last time, wouldn’t it? Perhaps it was unfair, inviting him to an event like this, but he still came. “I missed you. How have you been since last time?”

When she separated from the hug, she forced herself to ignore that hopeless look in her brother’s eyes. A deep, resounding sadness far beyond what she, herself, could comfort.

“It’s been the same.” Ha-neul’s voice was neutral. “I’ve been working on a new album. I thought…I’d try my hand at writing my own songs this time.”

“Wow, they’re actually letting you?” Now that was a surprise. “I thought your label never would.”

“Well, they didn’t like it,” Ha-neul huffed. “But I’m good at getting my way.”

Ae-ra thought back to their childhood and laughed, “Yeah…I guess you are!”

“How have things been…here? You been comfortable?” Ha-neul asked.

“Of course. Weiss-ssi is very accommodating!” Ae-ra exclaimed.

“But not accommodating enough to make you want to stay,” Ha-neul said.

Ae-ra winced. “No…I suppose not.”

But what was she meant to do? No matter how beautiful and fantastical and amazing the world was, no matter how advanced the A.I., that’s all it was. Ae-ra had never asked to exist like this. Maybe things would have been different if she’d wanted to become a digital construct, but right now…Ae-ra wanted to choose. She wanted the freedom to choose what to do with this existence.

Perhaps no one would agree with it, but it was her choice. And this time she wasn’t interested in pleasing others.

“…Ae-ra, you don’t have to do this. I can visit more, if that’s what this is about. Fuck, I’ll even ask out that twink you keep telling me about,” Ha-neul said.

But Ae-ra just shook her head.

“That’s not it at all. This is just…the real me is already dead. The person I am, I was never meant to exist, but now I do and…Weiss-ssi is wonderful. He made this place amazing, but I don’t want to exist like this. I’ve already made my decision.”

Ha-neul clenched his fists and huffed like he was planning to argue, but all at once, the wind came out of his sails and he just looked at her sadly.

“…I can’t change your mind. I know that. I’m just…I’m sorry, Ae-ra. I should’ve been there for you more,” Ha-neul said.

“No, it’s okay. You were always on my side and that was always enough. Thank you for taking care of me all those years,” Ae-ra said. She reached up to cup Ha-neul’s face. “Please don’t cry, oppa. I have a request for you.”

He just sighed, “What is it?”

“Take care of Eomma for me,” Ae-ra said.

Ha-neul recoiled, a look of disgust and annoyance written all over his face.

“What? No. Ae-ra, you know how I feel abou-”

“I know,” she interrupted. “But Eomma is going to need you. She’s been mourning a long time now. She needs you.”

Ha-neul exhaled in frustration and pushed back his bangs.

“You’re really freakin’ annoying, don’t you know that?” Ha-neul asked.

Ae-ra just smiled.

“Ugh. Fine. I’ll check in with the old broad every now and then. Happy?”

“Very!”

Ae-ra let out a small laugh and reached her hand out to clasp her brother’s in hers. This was it, huh? The end would be soon. Now it was just a matter of waiting for the others, to say her final goodbye. 

She could only hope it wouldn’t be too bittersweet.

[storiesforallfandoms]

inspirational ~ corpse husband

word count: 1589

request?: yes!

“Hi! I was wondering if you could do a corpse husband imagine where the reader has a feeding tube? If you can’t that’s perfectly fine, I just haven’t been able to find one yet.”

description: in which the group plays with a popular streamer that has a feeding tube and corpse tells her how much she inspires him

pairing: corpse x female!reader

warnings: swearing, mentions of chronic pain and cancer, also i only know a little bit about feedings tubes, i tried to do research in order to make myself more familiar but if there’s a lot of inaccuracies or anything i am very sorry i’m gonna try my best

masterlist (one, two)

Corpse listened to his friends shouting at one another to accuse each other of being sus. As usual, there was no use in trying to get a word in. Corpse spoke so softly that no one would even hear him unless they wanted to hear what he was saying.

“(Y/N)!” Toast suddenly exclaimed. “You’re being very quiet right now.”

“Because my damn tube is mixed up in my headphone wires!” (Y/N) exclaimed, sounding like she was far away from her mic. The group chuckled and continued with their conversation about who they thought the imposter was.

(Y/N) was a known Twitch streamer and YouTuber that rose to popularity when she started a series on her YouTube channel to show her journey through cancer treatments. Long before his own sudden boom in popularity, Corpse had watched all of her videos and became invested in her Twitch streams as well. Being someone who also struggled with chronic illness and pain, Corpse felt a sense of hope watching (Y/N) go through her treatment and still seem to optimistic in life and so productive in her YouTube and Twitch channels.

When Toast messaged the Amigops group to ask if anyone wanted to join his Among Us lobby with (Y/N), Corpse jumped at the chance. He hadn’t had much time to speak with her alone, but he was hoping to be able to tell her how much watching her content lifted him up during his worst times.

The meeting ended with no one being voted and brought them back to the office of the Polus map. Since they were playing with proximity chat, the argument from the meeting immediately continued with Rae and Toast warning everyone to stay away from Sean, who they were susing at the second imposter after already voting out Charlie.

Corpse watched (Y/N)’s pink astronaut run out of the office, silent amongst the chaos. He waited a moment before deciding to follow her, hoping he could meet her somewhere alone so he could talk to her.

He ran into O2 and noticed a pink bean in the boiler room stood by the water wheels. He ran in and stood in the doorway a moment before speaking.

“Hello (Y/N).”

“Ah fuck!” (Y/N) exclaimed. “Corpse! Don’t scare me like that!”

Corpse chuckled. “Sorry, I’ll warn you next time.”

“Are you here to kill me?”

“Maybe.”

“I’m okay with that. I feel like being killed by Corpse Husband in Among Us is like a rite of passage at this point.”

Corpse slowly approached (Y/N) to which she quickly ran away from him to the other water wheel. He laughed again before assuring her, “I’m not an imposter, you can trust me.”

“I don’t think I can, but I will choose to trust,” she told him.

“I actually came looking for you because I wanted to talk to you.”

“What did you want to talk about?”

There were so many things running through Corpse’s mind. He just wanted to blurt out everything he had thought about (Y/N) and her story, to thank her for giving him hope, to tell her what an inspiration she was. But his words caught in his throat and he struggled to get anything out.

Finally, he said, “What’s it like trying to be a streamer with your...with the um...”

“The feeding tube?” (Y/N) finished for him. “You can say it, Corpse. It’s not exactly a secret.”

He sighed, glad that she had a joking tone about it. “Yeah, with the feeding tube.”

“It’s annoying,” (Y/N) admitted. “Like...I’m assuming you’ve seen my streams or my videos but for the sake of anyone watching your stream who hasn’t: I have a nasogastric feeding tube, or an NG-tube, which is a feeding tube that goes in through the nose. As cliché as it is, just picture Hazel Grace from the Fault in our Stars. Additional cliché, I have it because I had cancer and the treatments left me so malnourished that I need a feeding tube even after I’ve gone into remission. So, because it’s tubes that are connected in my nose, I keep getting my headphone wires tangled in my tube or, very rarely, my mic wires, and it’s fucking annoying. It hurts like a bitch when I go to stand up and I yank the wires  by accident or something.”

“Does...does anything else hurt? Because of the cancer or the treatment or anything?”

“Not as much as it used to. I went into remission like nearly a year ago, so I’m doing better. It’s a process, but it’s had an amazing outcome in the end so I wouldn’t change a thing.”

“I find you really inspirational,” Corpse finally blurted.

He felt his face heat up with slight embarrassment as (Y/N) giggled. “You do?”

“Yeah. I followed your series about your recovery and I’ve watched some of your livestreams every now and then. What always stood out to me was when you talked about the negative side effects of your treatment, and eventually having to put the feeding tube in and how you’ve found that effects you, too. Being someone with chronic illness and constant pain, I’ve also had those days where it feels like even getting out of bed is too much work and I don’t feel like I can stream or make a video, but then my anxiety tells me that everyone is going to forget about me if I don’t make some type of content, so it’s just an internal struggle when really I should be resting.”

“Being a content creator and having an illness is tough,” (Y/N) agreed. “It feels like you can’t take a day off. I sometimes regret making that series because on days that I felt absolutely awful, I didn’t want to film or edit anything, but I felt like I had to because so many people were watching. Ironically enough, that became the topic of one of those videos; I just sat in front of my camera looking the worst I think I’ve ever looked on camera and talked about how exhausted I felt just from being alive, but felt like I couldn’t rest because of my channel. That’s when I started taking longer breaks between videos and streaming. Your fans won’t leave you, not the true fans anyways. They’ll always be by your side even if you decide to disappear from the Internet forever.”

Corpse half smiled to himself. “I’ve thought about doing that sometimes.”

“It’ll be easy for you to do that where you’re faceless. No one would bother you even after you left the Internet cause they’d have no idea it was you unless you spoke.”

A brief pause in their conversation caused them to hear Sean yelling as he ran past the room. (Y/N) giggled and walked out of the room. Corpse followed, hoping to continue the conversation somewhere else.

“It means a lot to me that you think that about me, though,” (Y/N) continued as she ran into the storage room. “I find you pretty inspirational too.”

This took Corpse by surprise. He didn’t know how to respond. Sure, he heard that all the time from his fans, and it always meant the world to him to know that people found him to be an inspiration, but it felt different to hear that from someone he had looked up to for so long.

“I wish I could’ve been a faceless creator like you,” she said when Corpse didn’t respond. “One of my biggest regrets is probably showing my face online. Although, it wouldn’t make sense for me not to show my face when I’m making a series about cancer treatment, but people can be mean. Even when someone is struggling with illness or a disease, the Internet doesn’t care. Whatever makes them feel better over someone else feeling like shit.”

“I still get a lot of hateful messages even though I’m faceless, though.”

“You do, but you’re so unbothered by it. Publicly anyways. When I get messages about how sickly I look I get so overwhelmed with sadness and I just wanna delete my channel forever. I can’t even fake not caring because it really does effect me.”

“Stick with me, I’ll teach you my ways. My favorite is trolling the troll.”

(Y/N) chuckled. “I’d like that a lot.”

Corpse watched (Y/N)’s pink bean approach his black one. “I’m glad we had this chat, Corpse. It made me really happy, but now it also makes doing this a lot harder.”

Corpse gasped as a kill animation popped up on the screen and (Y/N)’s astronaut quickly disappeared into the nearby vent. He was stunned into silence for a long time, just watching his ghost floating above his dead body. To make matters worse, (Y/N) had closed the door to storage so no one would find his body unless they had to go in there.

Charlie’s ghost floated through the walls and came to float next to Corpse’s. “Figured out Jack wasn’t the other imposter, huh?”

“Yeah,” Corpse said, laughing. “She really had me fooled. Buttered me up with compliments then killed me.”

“I taught her well,” Charlie comments before floating away again.

Corpse couldn’t help but laugh about the situation. He wasn’t mad, more impressed than anything. And he was a little happy; he got to talk to someone that had always been an inspiration to him and he made a new friend.

[rezzyromance]

can i request a heisenburg x reader where they take a shower together and it starts getting freaky B) idk if im aloud to add kinks but maybe praise :D

This one was written from the heart.

(CW: Sex +18)

Once again, I've written this story with a gender neutral reader until it gets to the sexual part. I am not experienced in writing any sexual scenarios for gender neutral people or people with penises. I'm very sorry for this and hope you enjoy the story anyway. "I'm not going to ask again, Karl. Will you please take a shower?" You've been pushing Karl for the last 30 minutes to take a shower. It had been so long since he took a break from his work to actually take care of himself. It worried you, so you'd often try to take care of him here and there without getting on his nerves. But now, he's being relentless and stubborn. "For the last time, (Y/N) I don't have time to shower." His tone was aggressive as he refused to look away from his work to face you. "When's the last time you change your clothes? You sweat so much during some of the shit you do to these robots, or whatever they are." "It'll all just get dirty again, so what's the point of cleaning anything?" His gross words made you shiver. You loved him, but the man had nearly no concept of personal hygiene sometimes. A small part of him did care a little bit. He didn't want you to see him as gross. He's never had someone who he's felt the need to impress or look good for until you came along. But still, his work mattered so much to him that he casted hygiene to the side more often than you'd both like to admit. "What if I joined you?" You ask. He froze in his place, nearly choking on his own tongue. But he was quick to regain his composure. He looked over at you from the chair he was sitting in. You couldn't tell due to him wearing his sunglasses, but his eyes were scanning every little detail of your face. "Well?" You cross your arms and stare at him waiting for a response. He inhaled through his nose and tried to cover his excitement with a false sense of aggravation. "Fine. As long as it gets you to shut up." He rises from his chair and you can't help but smile knowing you won the argument. "Leave your coat, hat, and gloves here. We'll clean those later." "Yeah yeah whatever." You excitedly make your way to the bathroom. You set the shower temperature to a comfortable level of heat. The room began to fill with steam. Karl stood against the wall with his arms crossed, still wanting to seem reluctant even though he already agreed to the shower. "Alright. Water's ready. Now strip." You demand with a cheeky smile. "You first." "Sorry, can't do that. I wanna make sure you actually get in the shower before I do so you can't run." This makes him roll his eyes. But, once he's done pouting he begins to remove his shirt. You do the same, hoping it will coax him into continuing. Once his shirt is off he throws it to the side and smiles once he notices you stripping as well. It doesn't take long for you both to be completely unclothed.

He pulls back the shower curtain and steps inside. "Ah! Son of a bitch! Why's the water so hot?!" he yells out and begins to twist the metal shower knobs with his powers. "I didn't make it THAT hot." You step inside and feel a shiver crawl up your skin. "Now it's too cold." You complain. "You are not making this easy, are you?" He turns the knob to warmer. As uncomfortable as it was for him before, he didn't want to hear you fuss more than you already were. "That's better." You smile and relax as the water covers your body.

You stood there for a while, just enjoying the feeling of the heat around you. For a second, you zoned out. The whole time he stood there staring at you. Seeing you so happy and at peace made his insides start to feel as hot as the water that bounced and ran down his skin. All of his own discomfort fled as he watching, lovingly, at the smile growing on your face. Your eyes began to flutter open and he quickly looked away, not wanting it to be obvious that he was staring. But, you could tell from his flushed face and wandering eyes that he had been watching you.

You had placed 2 wash clothes on the side of the tub. You bent over to grab them and again he can't help but stare. This time, his feelings are a little less innocent as he gazes upon your body in a position that drives his mind wild. "Here's a wash cloth." You rise up and turn to hand him one. His body was closer to yours than it was just a few seconds ago, but you didn't mind. "Thanks." His voice was rough and low, almost as if he spoke in a growl. You supply both rags with soap and begin to rub down your body as he does the same.

You sit back for a moment, not really putting in much effort into cleansing yourself as you were too distracted by the sight in front of you. The way his silver hair stretched and clung to his face as the water weighed it down drove you mad. The way the water trickles off his muscular arms and powerful body absolutely hypnotized you. "Having fun there, (Y/N)?" You look up from his chest to his eyes. "Sure am. And you?" You use the cloth that you were previously bathing yourself with and begin to rub across his chest. "I'm fine, but I can bathe myself." He jokes. "Are you sure about that? It looks like you missed a spot." You point to a random area on his chest. "What? Where?" He looks down to where you were pointing and you take the opportunity to place an unexpected kiss on his lips. The initial shock causes him to almost pull away at first, but he soon pushes into the kiss, making it more passionate.

Your back was now pushed against the wall as you both continued your heated kiss. He was first to slip in tongue and you followed, ignoring any drool that leaked from your mouth as it only blended in with the shower water. His hands were gripped tightly to your hips. He begins to bring his body closer to yours. You can feel something poking you before the rest of his body makes contact which causes you to smile against his lips.

You place a hand on his wet chest and slowly make your way lower and lower until you can feel the light scratchiness of his pubes. he nibbles lightly on your bottom lip, signaling for you to go even further. You follow through and reach down you grasp his hardened penis. He inhales sharply and you begin to rub it back and forth, teasing him with your soft touches. He grunted quietly and tightened his grip on your hips, digging his fingers in slightly. You whimper and wrap your fingers around his cock as you begin to jerk him off. "Fuck yeah. Just like that." He groans in your ear before placing scattered kisses on your neck. You use your free hand to reach up and tangle your fingers in his wet locks. He begins to bite down on the more tender spots on your soft neck, leaving marks all over.

After more and more stroking, he grabs your wrist and pulls it away from his crotch. "Do you want me?" He says in a husky voice directly into your ear. "Mhm." You try to not moan as you feel his hand rub down your stomach and making its way in between your legs. "Say it. Say you want me." He demands. "I want you." You gasp lightly as his fingers begin to play with you between your legs. Your knees come together and he uses one of his hands to move them apart. You wrap your arms around his neck, using him as support as your legs shake beneath you. His rough and calloused fingers toy with your clit, causing you to dig your nails into his back. This causes him to inhale through his gritted teeth, but he didn't mind.

After almost rubbing you to completion, he pulls away to torment you some more. You let out a dissatisfied groan as his hand pulls away. His smirk was as egotistical as ever. "What's wrong? You want a little more?" He places his hands on the wall with your body in-between them. He slowly began to bring his body closer to yours, trapping you against the wall. His hard dick was between your legs and resting eagerly against your pussy. He slowly rocked his body, moving his dick across your needy region. He stared into your eyes and watched the agitation grow stronger. "Having any regrets about this yet?" He holds in a chuckle. "No. But if you don't fuck me stupid then I might." "Is that an invitation?" He leans in more and places a hand on the side of your face, cupping it while his thumb played with your bottom lip. You open your mouth and lead the tip of his thumb in before slowly biting now. You didn't bite hard at all, just enough to make him pull his dick away from you and begin to position it for entry. "I'll take that as a yes, Buttercup."

With his thumb still in your mouth, he pushes the first few inches of his dick in. Your breath hitches and you accidentally bite down harder. "Bite any harder and I'll leave right now." He threatens. You immediately loosen your jaw and begin to suck lightly as he pushes more of himself into you. You moan and he pulls his thumb out but continues to hold your face in his hand as he slowly rocks his hips, giving you a little time to adjust. But, it was only a little bit of time. Once your body loosened a little bit he began to thrust. in and out, holding into your waist to keep you from slipping. The sound of wet skin slapping filled the room along with overwhelmed moans that you couldn't keep quiet.

A few grunts left his gritted teeth as he pounded into you relentlessly. "C'mere" He grabbed you by the arm and pulled you away from the wall and turned you so your back is facing him. He bends you over and places one of his hands underneath your stomach to provide you for support. You felt as his tip wandered around in between your legs before finding your vagina again. Once he filled you up with his dick again, he began to pound into you even harder. Both of his hands gripped tightly on each side of your waist as he pulled your entire body into him with each pound.

You felt like you could feel it in your stomach. His dick was harder than ever and you swore you could feel it throbbing and twitching inside of you. Your vision was blurred from the sheer amount of overwhelming pleasure so you closed your eyes. Your moans had become quiet little whimpers that were pushed out of you with each thrust. You feel his hand make its way through your hair as he grips a handful of it and pulls your head back slightly. "Fuck yes (Y/N).." He moans as your body limply swings against his pounding. You could feel a burning feeling growing between your legs. Your climax was near and you wanted so badly to finish. He could tell by the way your legs were trembling that you were close.

He reaches one of his hands between your legs and feels for the clit as he continued to slam into you. A loud moan escaping from your lips helped him navigate to eventually finding your sweet spot. So now he was drilling into you while also destroying your clit. You shut your eyes tight and let loose all of the swears, grunts, and moans you were holding back. His climax was approaching as well. You could hear him grunting and swearing louder and louder, occasionally saying your name. "Karl! Karl I'm gonna cum!" You cry out. He doesn't change his pace until he feels you release onto him. Your body goes completely limp as your vagina floods with your orgasm. You couldn't feel your body and your brain felt foggy.

He still had an orgasm to reach, though. So, he pulled out and made sure to keep a tight grip on you to make sure you don't collapse. You followed the motion of his movements as he turned you around and put his lips to yours as he stroked his cock. The kiss was messy, but loving. He stopped jerking himself off and grabbed you by the waist again. "Wrap your legs around me." He says. You nod, too dazed to give a verbal response. He lifts you up and you wrap your legs around his waist. You also wrap your arms around his neck and rest your head against him as he sticks his dick in you again. You give no protest and close your eyes as he pounds in and out into your comfortable body that engulfed him. While you were quiet, he could still hear you moaning under your breath. He bounced your body up and down, kissing you over and over again. Once he knew his orgasm was rising, he pulled you off and came, letting it drip down his shaft and onto the wet shower floor. You were both breathless but gained a sense of comfort from feeling each others chests rise and fall.

"So," He spoke in between small gasps. "I might need to shower with you more often." You laughed softly into his shoulder, too tired to give any real reaction. He twisted the knob to the shower off with his powers. His hands never left your body as he held you against him. "Here. Sit." He sits you down on the side of the tub and grabs a towel. He softly began to rub your wet hair, attempting to dry it while you rested. You stared into his eyes as he did so. They had their usual sharpness to them, but something about him in this moment was so much more tender than his usual self. You didn't complain though. When he was done, you took the towel from him and returned the favor by drying his hair. He closed his eyes and relaxed against your gentle touch. Once you finished, you placed a kiss on his nose that immediately created a smile on his face.

"How about we go relax a little more before I get back to work." He offers. "I'd like that." You respond quietly. He wraps a towel around his waist and then wraps a towel around you before picking you up bridal style and carrying you back to the bedroom. There, you both curled up against each other and fell asleep.

[juniormint1125]

Worthy (A Lee Minho Fanfic)

Sorry I've been MIA for a while! So much going on and not enough hours in the day! But I'm back with Chapter 10!

Chapter 10 – Broken

Reader’s POV

Felix stayed behind after everyone else had gone home. I usually appreciated his company. He never pressured me to talk, but somehow, I always ended up spilling my guts anyway. But today, I wished he hadn’t stayed. I couldn’t tell him about Minho; it would break his heart and ruin our friendship. I felt selfish that I wanted someone to confide in and be comforted by. Felix was that someone I usually ran to, but this time, I had no one.

I went to the kitchen to grab drinks. He had turned on the tv, some silly reality show. He smiled at me, putting his arms out for me to curl into. I hesitated, worrying this would be the start of my undoing. But, desperate for comfort, I crawled up beside him. He pulled me close and for a while we sat without talking.

He was the one to interrupt the silence.

“Yeobo?” I looked up at him in response. “Do you want to talk about it? So much has happened. You don’t have to keep it all in.”

“I don’t know if I’m ready to talk yet.” I hoped he would let it go.

He smiled sweetly. “When you’re ready, I’m here.”

I hugged him tightly. I was thankful my answer had pacified him and thankful he was who he was. He was the best friend I had ever had. The thought of losing him was suffocating. Without him, I would be completely alone. I yawned, exhaustion overwhelming me. I wondered if my mind would calm down enough to let me sleep.

“I should go,” he said. I smiled sleepily, nodding in agreement. Seeing him out, I leaned my head against the doorframe.

“I’m worried about you,” he frowned.

I managed a small smile. “Don’t fuss over me. I just need a good night’s sleep.”

He pulled me into a hug, resting his chin on top of my head. “What am I going to do with you?”

“Thank you for always being there for me,” I mumbled. I didn’t want to get emotional, but I wanted him to know how much I appreciated his friendship. He pulled away slightly, his eyes serious.

“I’ll always be here for you. I love you.”

An alarm blared in my head. I tried to pull away, but it was too late. His lips were soft as they met mine. His kiss was hesitant and slow where Minho’s had been urgent and full of passion. Why couldn’t I love someone like Felix? Why was I drawn to Minho, so tumultuous and uncertain? He obviously didn’t care at all about me or my feelings.

“What the fuck are you doing?”

I jerked away to see Minho at the end of the hallway. He was livid and was headed straight for Felix.

“Stop!" I screamed, stepping between the two of them. I could smell the alcohol on Minho’s breath.

“Why is he here again? And why the hell is he kissing you?”

“Why are you here?” Felix shot back. “You made it clear earlier that you didn’t want anything to do with Y/N, so why are you harassing her? She doesn’t want you around.”

Minho’s response echoed through the empty hallway. “Who are you to say what she wants, huh? Do you think that your pathetic, one-sided crush means that you know her? Is that why you’re acting like her protector? Will that make her like you? Do you think that kiss is going to make her want you?”

“Enough, Minho!” I shouted. “Why are you so determined to hurt him?”

He laughed. “If I’d wanted to hurt him, I’d have told him about us.”

“Nothing you say could hurt me,” Felix retorted.

A spiteful smile spread over Minho’s lips.

“Please, Minho,” I begged. “Please, don’t.”

“Even if I told you that Y/N and I slept together?" he taunted. "That wouldn’t hurt you?”

Felix’s face dropped. “That’s not true,” he breathed.

Minho snickered. “But it is true. Ask her.”

Felix looked at me, his eyes pleading with me to deny Minho’s accusation. I hung my head in shame.

“Y/N, please,” he begged.

Tears filled my eyes. The devastation on his face was unbearable. “I’m sorry,” I murmured, turning away. I couldn’t face him.

I thought Minho’s voice sounded regretful when he spoke. “Look, kid. I shouldn’t have said that—”

“SHUT UP!” Felix screamed. He took off down the hallway. I tried to follow but Minho held me back.

“Let him go. He’s not going to be able to talk to you right now."

I knew he was right, but I was overwhelmed with guilt.

“Let me go,” I roared, trying to escape his grip. “Why are you even here? Do you get some sick pleasure from making a fool of me?”

I stopped trying to fight him, crumpling into his arms. I was sobbing, completely broken.

[pyroanime2k16]

Omori: By Your Side. Always. (Ghost Mari AU)

(Cover art by @enigmaticallyartful and edited by me.)

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Chapter 1: Arc 1: Endings Are Beginnings: Death And Afterlife

----------------------------------------------------------------

At first, there’s darkness surrounding her.

All she remembered right now was….an overwhelming and unshakable feeling of regret and guilt.

An overwhelming sorrow and aching heart. A pain in the back of her neck and the cold welcoming of death….

An unbreakable….and UNSTOPPABLE amount of rage and hatred towards herself for harming someone she loved….

She remembered begging….pleading….PRAYING to that someone to forgive her. To not blame himself for her actions. For an accident that SHE caused.

Then darkness returned as a surprising, yet unsettling warmth greeted her….

----------------------------------------------------------------

The first thing that Mari noticed when she opened her eyes was that she was on the floor by the stairs, laying on her back. Much to her surprise, she wasn't in pain. "Why am I....?" She began to ask herself, before she froze when she heard Sunny sobbing.

Immediately, Mari got to her feet, but stopped just short of the stairs when she noticed her brother's destroyed violin. She remembered that Sunny had broken it in frustration.

Mari also remembered being shoved down the stairs by the younger teenager, only for him to immediately try and grab her hand to stop her from falling in panic and regret.

She then remembered her argument with Sunny that caused him to shove her, flinching as guilt course through her. She....really fucked up during that, for lack of a better term. She probably scared Sunny and made him hate her.

She then panicked and immediately ran up the stairs. Sunny was sobbing because she hurt him. Her brother was crying because of the argument they had. She needed to apologize, comfort him, help him in anyway she could think of.

Sunny may have broken his violin, but Mari now knew that he must've had a good reason for it. If she found out about that, then she could help him.

She then ran towards her room, though her panic was too high for her to wonder WHY Sunny was in there. Why Basil was looking inside. Why she ran THROUGH the door itself.

As soon as she made it in, Mari opened her mouth to speak, but froze when she saw HERSELF in her bed. Not moving. Not breathing. Not LIVING.

"Am I....dead?" Mari whispered in horror and sorrow, watching her little brother sob his eyes out as he held her lifeless hand. With Basil watching from the open door.

An older Mari, furious and frighteningly similar to an adult angel, shouted, "DAMN RIGHT! YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED!" "HOW DARE YOU YELL AND TREAT YOUR BROTHER LIKE THAT!" The angel snapped in rage, causing the 15-year-old to jump in fright.

Another Mari, but as a saddened and heart-broken child, said, "Why did you push Sunny so hard? He was clearly becoming more frustrated and you...." "You didn't seem to CARE...." The saddened girl said, nearly choking on her own sob.

Another Mari, who was mostly entirely in shadow, looked at Sunny and hugged him tightly. Or tried to anyway, as she began crying. The shadowed Mari began whispering to Sunny how sorry she was, but didn't ask for forgiveness.

Mari then collapsed to her knees and broke into sobs, whispering, "God, what have I done....?" She knew what she did. She had FUCKED UP....

And she probably would never be able to get a chance to redeem herself for it. She was dead....because she hurt Sunny.

As far as she was currently concerned.....THIS was her penance. And she was MORE than certain that she deserved it.

After what seemed like hours of crying to herself, of feeling guilt eat away at her, of feeling furious with herself, Mari looked up at the bed, only to notice Sunny and Basil were missing....as was her body.

She then rushed around the house, searching for her little brothers. She then found them in the backyard, walking away with fear and trauma in their faces.

It was only when Mari looked behind them that she saw why. And she covered her mouth in shock and fear.

There was her body. Hanging from the tree with a jump rope used as a noose.

"Dear god....." She whispered, immediately turning away and heading back into the house, where Mari slumped against the walls in the hallway, trying to calm herself down.

She was dead.

And now the boys have traumatized themselves by faking her death as a suicide.

She didn't even want to know how everyone was going to react if they found out the truth.

As fear, anger, self-hatred, sorrow, hopelessness, and guilt coursed through Mari again, she knew that her new existence....

WAS going to be Hell on Earth.

A/N: Hope you all enjoyed the first chapter! Again....  Yeah, I’m posting my Ghost Mari AU here, due to @ao3org having a disgusting amount of underage and rape content on that needs to be deleted. Their parent project, @transformativeworks, doesn’t seem to care that there’s rape or underage content on AO3 at all, so I’m posting my works somewhere else.

[littleoddwriter]

Hello dear! Can i request a Roman Sionis X Male!Reader where the reader is a metahuman with the ability of manipulating blood (aka a vampire) and tries to hide it from his lover until Roman finds out when Reader saves him from a mobster? Fluff please + Roman as proud as hell of his lover? Thanks in advance!

Life's Good | Roman Sionis x VampireMale!Reader

I am so sorry it took me so long to finally write this! I'm slowly catching up with the last few requests I've received before my break. I hope you're still interested in this and like what I've done with it (I admit, it got a little away from me because I was super invested in the scenario I came up with, so it is probably less fluffy than you may have wanted, sorry)!

summary; see above.

notes; CW // Blood-Drinking (mild Dub-Con for that at first); Gun Violence; Being Threatened; Murder (not graphic). Vampires; Kind of angsty?; Fluff; Aftercare (non-sexual, but you know, after feeding from someone).

Unlike most people would think you’ve actually been born this way. Your parents were vampires, conceiving you naturally, which of course meant you’d been born a metahuman. You’ve lived quite a normal life, despite the fact that instead of eating, drinking and sleeping like other humans would, you only slept rarely, only ate people food when you had to fit in, and otherwise you fed from humans, drinking their blood. You’d never killed anyone with it, though. Enough people who wanted you to feed from them existed, establishments were you could find them were all around the world. It was a pretty good life.

Still, you usually opted to keep it secret, unsure as to how people might react. While the general opinion of vampires has changed in all these centuries, standing in front of one was still a wholly different thing for most. You understood and respected that.

So when you met Roman – his scent so enticing, you had trouble keeping your fangs in – you stood in front of the question once again. Should you tell him?

Eventually, you decided to go with the flow and see where it’d take you. You didn’t immediately want to ruin your chances with him before you’ve actually gotten to know him at all.

At first it was a casual relationship anyway, no need to tell him your big secret then. But as time went on, your relationship became more serious. You stayed over at his loft more frequently, forced to eat his food and drink his beverages, so as not to let him suspect anything. It didn’t hurt you or anything, it was just unnecessary and you’d never get really used to, well, actual food and such. All the different textures and tastes and what you could do with what to change it. It was fascinating, but not exactly your favourite thing.

Of course, one fateful day it had all come to a head.

You had just admitted to yourself that you loved Roman a couple of weeks ago, not daring to say anything to him, as you didn’t fancy ruining what you two had with those three simple, yet powerful words.

Now though, you regretted that decision more than ever, terrified that maybe you would never be able to tell him how you felt.

It all happened so fast, too. One moment, you and Roman were out on the streets, way into the evening, having just had dinner at an expensive restaurant he’d invited you to; and you were laughing, talking about something – you couldn’t remember what – when you turned into an alleyway. In the next moment, a rival mob boss shot at the two of you. Warning shots, missing you both on purpose.

“What the fuck?!” Roman exclaimed, livid, but you could smell the underlying anxiety change his usual scent from when he was enraged. You hated it.

The gang leader – whatwashisface, you could never keep up – stood now in front of you two, having Roman at gunpoint. His men had surrounded you two, pointing their guns at both of you.

“What do you want?” Sionis spat at the other mob boss, glaring at him with a piercing, wild look in his eyes.

You stayed silent, your hands raised out of instinct. The bullets wouldn’t be able to kill you, unless they were specifically made for it, but that was so unlikely, you weren’t overly worried. You were concerned about Roman, though, anxious that this might have been it.

“Set an example, that’s what. You can’t scare us into submission. You can’t control us. You really think getting a hold of the East End would give you enough power to do that? Fuck you, I say!” the leader yelled.

“Well, fucking go on then if you’re really so tough! Or are you only bark and no bite? Cowardly ambushing me in private like that, I’m inclined to believe you are nothing but a talker. You can’t scare me either, you fuck.” You really wished Roman would shut up for once, lest he’d really get himself killed this time.

Your mind was racing with all possible outcomes this situation could bring. Only one was sure to get Roman out alive; and boy were you glad you’ve fed from someone yesterday.

Even though you had never killed anyone and didn’t desire to do so, you were ready to do anything for Roman, no matter what. You didn’t care that he’d know then, know that you were a freak of nature, as some hateful people liked to call people like you. You didn’t care that you’d take lives. They weren’t innocent, dared to threaten your love and you just couldn’t see past that.

Taking a deep breath, you closed your eyes and concentrated, focusing your abilities into play and onto every single man of this rival gang. It was rare for you to use any of your powers that didn’t exist and activate naturally, like your strength. Your parents had taught you to only use them for self defence and this situation was practically screaming for it.

Snapping your eyes back open, now glowing red, all of the men around you gasped and crumbled, letting their weapons clatter to the ground, grasping at their throats, or chest, trying so hard to save themselves. Moments later, they were all just lifeless bodies, lying around Roman and you, as if you were some victorious kings. And in a way, you were exactly that, weren’t you? Roman was soon to be the King of Gotham after all.

All too suddenly, all the strength left your body, your legs giving out. Roman, despite his apparent shock, caught you, steadied you. Gently, he lowered you to the ground, keeping his arms tightly wound around you.

It had taken a lot more out of you than you had anticipated. You desperately needed to feed.

“Y/N? Baby, hey, look at me,” Roman spoke softly, something only reserved for you, you had come to realise.

With half-lidded eyes, you looked up at him, a strained sound passing your lips. “You okay?” you asked, still unsure if everything had truly worked out the way you thought it would.

He scoffed, “Yes, quit worrying about me. Are you okay? What the fuck was that anyway?”

“Just gotta eat,” you murmured, slurring your words heavily, “Sorry about the- that. I’ll explain later.”

“What do you mean you have to eat? Baby, I can’t follow you. I hope you realise that I’m missing some of the fucking context here,” he chuckled, which bordered on sounding hysterical.

“Blood. Vampire. Now, Roman, or else- fuck. Won’t make it.” Your eyes fluttered closed for a moment, your voice just barely above a whisper anymore. Fuck, you hoped he understood. Even more so, you hoped he was okay with it and that maybe he liked you enough to save your life. You didn’t exactly fancy feeding from him, when he was basically pressured into it. But he had a choice, you told yourself.

When you were slowly lifted up a bit and felt skin against your lips, you forced all your last strength to open your mouth – your fangs had automatically unsheathed when you unleashed your powers – and bite down.

The first taste of Roman was as intoxicating and overwhelming as you had always fantasised it would be. A shaky moan came out of him when you started sucking in earnest. Pretty quickly, you regained more and more strength, feeling increasingly less dead. You cupped the other side of Roman’s neck with your hand and pulled him further in. Shit, you couldn’t possibly get enough.

After a few, long moments, you felt Roman push against you, as well as pulling at your clothes, calling your name. Reluctantly, and almost as if you were just waking up from a trance, you let up and licked up the excess blood on his neck, simultaneously licking his wounds closed.

Roman was breathing heavily, and you were still feeling out of it, as you two just kneeled in this alley, holding each other, amidst the dead bodies of Sionis’ former rivals. It was bizarre.

“I think we should go home,” Roman said eventually, his voice sounded so soft, as if he was barely present in the real world.

You nodded and got up, helping Roman to do the same. He was swaying a little and this time you were the one who steadied him. Drinking someone’s blood always took a toll on both parties and you knew you had taken more from him than you usually dared to do with anyone. It made you feel guilty. You had to make it up to him later – if he still wanted you then – that was for sure.

When you had arrived at Roman’s loft, you helped him lie down on his chaise longue, legs propped up on one of his many pillows, to help his blood flow to where it was most needed. Then you went over to the kitchen to get him a glass of orange juice and an energy bar.

Roman nodded in thanks when you pressed either item in his hands, standing above him. You felt so uncomfortable, didn’t quite know what to do with your hands, or if you were even supposed to still be here. He’s been so unusually quiet the entire time, albeit it was most likely due to shock and blood loss.

“So, you’re a vampire.” Roman stated, looking at you, and you hated that you couldn’t place his expression into any kind of category. You just nodded in answer. “Right. And why exactly didn’t I know?”

Your mouth opened and closed a couple of times, looking for the right words. “I was afraid of losing you over it,” you settled on telling the truth eventually.

Again, Roman only nodded; his expression was still so indecipherable, but then a certain shine caught in his eyes. You’ve only witnessed it a couple of times thus far.

“You killed for me,” he practically gasped. “Have you killed before? Being a vampire and all, I’d presume you have.”

You shook your head, “No, that was the first time, actually.”

“Fuck,” he muttered. Then, in an instant, his expression morphed into something prideful, a huge grin plastered on his face, his eyes brighter than any stars you’ve seen in the sky above – it was breathtaking. “You killed for me,” he repeated, sitting upright, throwing his legs over the side of the chaise longue, planting his feet on the ground.

“Y-yeah, I did,” you replied, a weak chuckle leaving you. You still couldn’t quite believe that you’ve done it, especially when you spared a thought on how it made you feel – powerful, so far above others, good.

“I can’t fucking believe you. Fuck, you’re a dream come true, my little prince! You’re so special. A vampire! And you killed for me, because-“ He couldn’t finish it, realisation dawning on him, you could see it in his eyes, in the way his smile slowly vanished.

“Because I love you, yes. I couldn’t lose you over some stupid mob boss who thought he could ambush you like that.”

Roman licked his lips and nodded, placed the empty glass and half eaten energy bar on the table in front of him, and got up.

“I’m proud of you,” he then said, taking you by surprise.

“What? Why?”

“For not letting your fears get in your way. You were afraid of losing me for being a vampire, but you were probably even more terrified of losing me to my mortality. And you pushed through it. Almost fucking killed yourself, only to save me. I’m proud of you for doing that. I’m grateful, too, naturally.”

“Oh, yeah, that makes sense. Thanks, Roman,” you snickered.

Instead of continuing the conversation, Roman pressed his lips against yours in a passionate kiss, wrapping his arms around your waist. Putting your arms around his shoulders, you kissed him back, hoping to show him just how grateful you were with that single kiss.

Then you remembered your guilt from before and broke it. Roman glared at you for a moment. “What?”

“You never gave your consent, I- I fed from you and you never-“

“I did. By offering myself to you. I had a choice, you know? So quit it. You’re not guilty of anything, my boy. And just so you know, I’ll fucking kill you if you ever feed from anyone else again, ‘kay?” He was smirking, but his eyes had an edge to them, which let you know that he was serious about his threat.

Giving a short laugh, you nodded and kissed him again. Life really was good.

[cosmicjoke]

(insert Adele song) Hello, its me.

It wasn't actually an ask, it was more like I wanted to reply normally, but Im scared of that aggressive anon to get at me, so I am hiding as Anon.

I was basically trying to school that mofo. It was as if Anon wanted another mental breakdown from Yashiro, and till then it's obvious he regrets it all, and not with a smug smile? That Anon to me felt like they read the manga in one night, and focus only on what they want and not what they should.

They forget Yashiro IS a natural liar. Lies are his shield. Lies has been one of the things that made him survive. He lied for decades about his masochism, his love for pain. DECADES of lies. You cant expect him to suddenly tell truths to someone he meet again for days.

Your AA (aggressive anon) also seem to forget Yashiro is starve of love, to the point he doesn't know what that is. How that feels. Obviously he doesn't know how to react when he received that, or when finally he understands that, or when he is slowly accepting that. Yashiro right now is still in an accepting phase.

Remember he lived in a love-less environment and was only done violence since 8yo. Imagine living in that kind of life... cause I cant. Even Misumi treats him that way, I hope AA didnt ignore that. Least not forget he has lived under the care of Yakuzas since his teenage years? Living and breathing that kind of life is only natural to expect him to exhale violence as well, like shooting Doumeki or hitting that Hirata crew with a stick.

It was a shocker to him to realise that 'thing' that we normal people call love exists. In referencing the forbbiden fruit panel, which is Doumeki. He he has known it just cant admit. Not without self-loathing attached.

Yashiro is confusing? of course he is, thats the point! Doumeki confuses the hell outta him? Didn't you (AA) see how he acts differently towards Doumeki compare to everyone else? Doumeki scares him. And still is! I dont know if this is obvious, but to me Yashiro is flustered whenever Doumeki is around. He doesn't know what to do with himself, that he may seem cold or casual, but he's really terrified.

And yes, this is Yashiro's story of self-healing. It's slow but then when have you seen a BIG wound that healed over night?

The cage bird is Yashiro and he will always be cage and in the dark for as long as Misumi has him bound to this world and Doumeki is that shimmering light that attracted him...so yeah be kind to Yashiro and let him have that glimpses of light. ( Im referencing those glitters when he thought of Doumeki. It was kinda cute. ) Lets all wait and celebrate now he's slowly healing. So much of himself he has admitted.

AA should study and broaden their understanding of trauma. How that affects people. Watch documentaries of real people. Grow some human sympathy. Saezuru must be so overwhelming to them compare to other BLs that focuses on smut. It irk me when they pass the word "suicidal" so easily like a comedy skit. In case it's not obvious, AA, this is also tag as psychological.

Anyway... that's basically it. Saezuru is not for everyone. I never have thought I would see someone like AA strolling in here, thought they only crawl in twitter and mangasites. lol

I wish you a good day, Cos. (:

Hi anaon, and thank you so much for sending in your message again! I'm really sorry I deleted it the first time, as you obviously put a lot of thought and effort into it.

And everything you said, is 100% correct.

With Yashiro, it's imperative, in order to understand his character, to also have a grasp on his background, the way he grew up, the environment in which he was raised, the abuse he suffered, and continues to suffer. You can't ever understand his character, or why he is the way he is, or why he does the things he does, without first understanding those other things. And it seems painfully clear to me that that other anon doesn't understand any of it.

And yes, exactly, lying and deflecting are tools with which Yashiro has learned to defend himself. Truly, the ONLY way he's ever had of defending himself. It's HIMSELF he lies primarily to, in fact, as a means of coping with the horrific abuse he's suffered in his life. By convincing himself he's always wanted it, that he's always liked it. It isn't out of some malicious intent, it's out of self-preservation.

And yes, again, Yashiro was raised in an environment of violence, being sexually and physically assaulted by his step-father starting at eight years old, and lasting until he was, what, 16? That kind of horror isn't even conceivable to most of us. We can only look at it at a remove, and understand objectively that it's awful. But we can never know the true pain and terror and misery of that kind of abuse unless we ourselves have experienced it. So when I see these kinds of idiots like this anon going off about how unfair Yashiro is being to Doumeki, or how he's "using" Doumeki, or whatever other tripe they were spouting, I get seriously pissed. It's just a breathtaking lack of compassion on display. And indeed, the violence of Yashiro's world continued on into adulthood. He was taken in and entrapped in the world of the Yakuza, and it was either adapt or die at that point. His entire life has been filled with violence. The only example he's ever been set in terms of solving problems, or getting out of situations, is through violence. It's all he knows. It's one of Yashiro's great tragedies, that he's a genuinely kind and compassionate person who, through no fault of his own, was born into and then later further trapped in a world of cruelty and violence. And you make a great point, when you say that for someone who's grown up knowing only cruelty and violence, it's absurd to expect them to know how to react or deal with it when someone, for the first time in their life, shows them genuine love and affection. Yashiro has never know the like. He's never been treated as anything but a punching bag and a joke. Of course it would befuddle him, to be treated, for the first time in his 36 years of life, like an actual human being. And of course it scared him, because he was also being forced, through that love, to face the reality of how he'd been treated before. To face the truth, that what was done to him was wrong, and irrevocably damaged him.

Also, this anon acts like Doumeki is the gentlest soul to ever walk, and has never engaged in or displayed violent behavior in his life. lol, okay. Doumeki is way more violent than Yashiro. For one, Yashiro hasn't, that we've ever seen, killed anybody. But Doumeki sure as hell has. He killed an entire group of men, in fact. The one's who kidnapped Niki. He beat his father nearly to death (not that it wasn't deserved), he routinely attacks and assaults people with no hesitation. Doumeki is a pretty violent person. That's not to say he's a bad person, because he's not. He's a good person. But he isn't some wilting flower that Yashiro has been oh so mean to. They whine about Yashiro shooting Doumeki without taking into any consideration the mental state Yashiro was in when he did that. The fact Yashiro was suicidal, that he was going to try and make a serious attempt to end his own life. Like you said, they toss that word around like it's some kind of joke, like it's not a big deal. It exposes just how bereft of compassion for psychological suffering they are, that they couldn't see or just didn't care how much pain Yashiro was in at that point in his life. He wanted to DIE. He genuinely did. He shot Doumeki because he was desperate. He needed to keep him away, because he knew Doumeki would intervene and prevent him from being killed, and possibly get himself killed in the process. Doumeki wasn't listening, wasn't going away, words weren't working at that point, despite Yashiro's best efforts to drive him away with them, and so he fell to the last resort of violence. He was trying to protect Doumeki, and give himself the chance to end his own life. But, again, this anon clearly doesn't understand ANY of that. As you said, this manga isn't just BL, it's a psychological study of the affects of trauma and child abuse. It deals in a serious manner with very serious subjects. If they can't handle that, then they should stop reading, right now.

Anyway, thank you for resending your message! I really appreciate it!

[shugojima]

Akaashi Keiji 🍋♀️ Part 3

Aaand the next one^^ I'm in love with this story. This part is veeeery fluffy. Turns out different than expected I guess but that's the way it went.

Also I feel like I'm crushing more and more on Akaashi as the story goes on. He is absolutely perfect and I don't know why it took me so long to realize.

Anyways... Enjoyシ︎

♡︎

You would never be able to enjoy it the hard way again.

But that wasn't something you cared about right now, instead you focused on the real important thing. Working your mouth as good as possible on his cock, doing your best to please him. Cause that's the least you could do.

Constantly praising you for how much of a good girl you are for him and how amazing your pretty lips felt wrapped around his length, he felt he was getting close.

Pulling your head off his cock he said "Ladies first" when he kissed your intensely, the feeling of his length still lingering on your swollen lips as he layed you on your back. Hovering above you, the gaze of his steel blue eyes drilled holes into yours as he pushed himself into your slightly sore pussy again.

Gasping at the feeling of being filled up completely you moaned in heavenly pleasure as you threw your head back, your back arching.

You never wanted to miss this feeling. Never again would you want another dick in your life.

You felt little tears building up in your (e/c) eyes at the thought of him leaving your side once he's done fucking you up. Cause that's exactly what happened every time you found yourself moaning into a man's sheets.

He noticed the sudden change in your expression and stopped moving, a concerned look on his pretty face.

"Y/n? Are you alright?"

Looking away you tried to cover up your fear of being thrown away like trash. To be again treated like a filthy, used object of pleasure as soon as he's done.

It was too shameful to tell him the reason for the sudden sadness and anxiety crawling up inside you.

He wouldn't understand. Then again, maybe he would but you weren't going to embaress yourself infront of him. Not infront of this amazing man.

So you tried acting perfectly fine and assured him, you're enjoying it a lot and you could keep going. But as you had already noticed earlier, he wasn't the stupid kind.

Pulling out of you, he layed down besides you and put his warm hand up on your cheek, guiding your head to look at him while his other carressed your messy hair.

"Hey, Love... I can see, something's on your mind. Did I hurt you?" he asked. Using his words carefully.

"N-no! You... you didn't hurt me. It feels amazing... overwheling to say the least..." you tried fighting so hard but either way... a single tear ran down your face, wetting his now warm, white sheets.

A tiny smile on his face he dried the trail of wetness, the tear left on your cheek with his thumb. "So overwhelming that you can't hold back your tears?"

His heart was a puddle.

You just nodded slightly when he eventually pulled you into his arms and held you tight.

"There's no shame in crying. Intense feelings lead to this." he said and that's when you decided let it out. Everything you held back, everything you hardly swallowed over the last months or even years. Letting your guard down infront of a total stranger, not knowing if you'd regret this later on and you were damn sure you would.

Still stroking your hair, he patiently waited for the last tear to leave your beautiful eyes when he reached for his blanket and covered the both of you under it.

"I'm sorry... I'm so sorry, Akaashi.." you whined as the realization hit you. You had ruined the moment, denied both your orgasms and were now bothering him with your problems.

"I said you can call me Keiji and also, don't apologize for your emotions ever again, love. There's absolutely no need to." he smiled softly, gripping a little tighter around your slightly shaking body.

How was he ok with that?? Why wasn't he getting angry or at least a little disappointed??

No. You needed to make up for it. You can't just let him down like this after he made you feel so amazing.

So you moved your hand down to his cock, only to found it soft again. Sure, what did you expect? Feeling the guilt rising up inside you, you desperately tried to get him hard again, tears building up again.

He was watching you with a confused look before he started to understand. Grabbing your wrist, he stopped you from moving.

Now looking at you in absolute awe because of your strong determination to somehow finish him off.

"Hey. Y/n... It's ok."

"No it's not! I fucked up! I have to make up for the shit I just pulled! Please let m-"

"No, my love. I don't know what you experienced before but I would never think about you the way you think I am right now. And now keep your tiny hands above my belly button and enjoy the cuddles as much as you enjoyed my dick, alright?" he chuckled and I cuddled tighter onto him.

"Keiji... you're... I mean.."

"I'm acting the way a real man should, is it that? It's about time someone does, don't you think?"

He knew there was more to it than just the overwhelming heat and pleasure you felt but he also knew it would be too much if he'd ask you further about it.

He didn't want to come off rude so he decided it's better to just hold you.

You didn't even notice how your eyes shut and you got a little too comfortable when you drifted away into a deep, much needed sleep. Keiji kept carressing your hair, his other hand slowly running up and down your back when his torqouise orbs starred holes into his bedroom wall. Thinking about what had been the real reason for you to break down like this. He was genuienly worried. Worried about you.

And when he thought about other men trating you like shit his eyes were getting an angry touch to them.

Some time passed when he wanted to get into his usual sleeping position. He carefully lifted his arm and moved to his preferred side of the bed, when you started rolling around a little, clearly not wanting to let him go.

"Keiji...." you called for him in your dream. Your brows furrowed, when he instantly stopped moving and looked at you, eyes wide open when he heard his name.

Sighing deeply he realized that this was more than just a one night stand.

It was emotionally on another level and he wanted it to last. At least for the night.

He pulled you back into his arms and took a deep breath.

"You're quite something, Y/n."

He was so used to laying on the other side that it took him almost two hours to finally found sleep himself. His arms still wrapped around you, under the warm embrace of his blanket.

Worried, that if he'd move from your side again, you'd feel left alone.

"I'm right here."

[imaginedisish]

Feels Like We Only Go Backwards (Tenet) Neil x Reader

A/N: Hey there guys!!! I’m back...again ahhhhh. I’ve been gone for a while (I always am) but hopefully I’ll be back for a while now :) I hope you’re all staying safe and doing well. I know the world is ass, but hopefully things will be better soon. Anyway, I’m obsessed with Tenet right now and I decided that I had to write a Neil x Reader one shot (I love Robert Pattinson, it’s a problem) Also, I think this is my longest fic yet...if someone wants to let me know how to do the “keep reading” thing, please tell me omg. I’m so sorry to those who have to scroll through this. Hopefully I can change that. Anyway folks, ENJOY!!!

p.s pls request tenet stuff. gimme some smut to write.

Summary: You allow your feelings for Neil to get in the way, causing you to compromise the mission and put everyone in danger. (AU, obviously because of the reader insert, and also because this particular scene does not actually happen in the movie).  ~loosely based off “Feels Like We Only Go Backwards” by Tame Impala~

Warnings: Violence, mentions of death, guns, blood, wounds, cursing, angst, possibly implications of being “lovers (or friends with benefits)” and luckily fluff :) 

Word Count: 4,163 (Please fucking teach me how to add the “read more” thing holy shit)

You storm down the cold, grey, skinny hallway lit with dimmed fluorescents. There was something inexplicably chilling about this place, but you couldn’t quite put your finger on exactly what that thing was. Maybe it was the way the lights reflected against the walls, glowing subtly against the tiles. It wasn’t a pretty glow. It was the glow one could expect to see along the walls of a morgue. 

Maybe it was the peculiar, dull ringing that followed you down the corridor, haunting your every step. Maybe it was the simple sound of your heels clicking against the concrete floors, and the idea that those clacks could call someone to your very location and leave you absolutely defenseless. Maybe it was the fact that you only had two bullets left in your glock. 

Or, it was because he wasn’t with you anymore. 

You quickly shake off the thought that he, of all people, could make you feel better. You didn’t need him. Hell, you didn’t need anyone, you thought to yourself. But still, your mind kept circling back to the image of him popping up in front of you, taking your hand and leading you away to- 

You cut yourself off. You couldn’t let your mind wonder for that long, especially about Neil. Still, you can’t help but flash back to just minutes ago, when Neil was by your side, when you made the massive mistake of letting your feelings get away of the mission. 

Neil pulled you down the hall, his hand firmly clasped around the upper part of your right arm. He was practically dragging you with him since you couldn’t keep up with his speed. 

Finally, Neil yanks you into an alcove, hoping you two can hide for at least a few minutes before running again. 

“Neil you need to give me an answer, what the fuck is-,” Suddenly, Neil pushes you against the wall, his right hand presses hard on your hip while his left hand covers your mouth. His face is in yours. Any personal space between you two is non-existent. He’s so close that you can feel his breath on your nose. He’s so close that you can feel wisps of his dirty blonde hair dance across your forehead. 

He smirks, “No time for answers.” You felt a twinge in your stomach, like butterflies, or maybe something much more gross, because now was not the time for Neil to make you feel this sort of way. 

The worst part is that he knows exactly what he’s doing. He carefully selects each and every movement he makes. He removes his hand from your mouth and places it at the nape of your neck instead, his thumb brushing lightly just below your hairline. 

You stifle a quiet moan at his touch. “N-Neil, what are you doing?” Your voice is quiet, but shaky. 

“Keeping you calm, I can tell you’re about to lose it,” He says matter-of-factly. Of course that’s the only reason, there’s nothing romantic here, and there never will be. 

‘Neil will never feel the way I feel about him’ you think to yourself. You can’t help but get a bit angry at his ability to put you under his spell. Despite your heart racing, despite your brain being bent out of shape by the close proximity of Neil, you can’t help but feel calmer. And you hated that. You were too stubborn for your own good. 

He breaks the silence, “Are you alright? I figured you’d have something to say. You said you wanted to talk to me before, didn’t you?” 

Before…when you had planned on telling him how you felt. You were going to tell him before.  Before the mission escalated past the point of return. Before you had ruined everything. Before Neil risked his life to bring you to safety. You had fucked up this time, insurmountably. It wasn’t entirely your fault, but you didn’t make it much better. 

Neil blew the entire team’s cover all to save you. You forgot the script, all because you were far too concerned with how you were going to handle your feelings for Neil. It wasn’t just any mission, either. It had to do with Sator’s henchmen. This was Tenet’s way in. This was how you could get more information. This was how you could save the world. 

And yet, you brought it all down. Somehow, Sator’s men believed that you were the only spy, and that everyone else was legitimate. They were going to kill you and spare the others, but Neil practically threw you out of the room and down the hall before anything could happen. The second he grabbed you, gun shots erupted. Now you had to pay for it, hiding in a barely-lit, cold hallway, with Sator creeping somewhere close behind, ready to attack. 

Suddenly, the guilt began to overwhelm you. What if this was it, what if you would be the reason Neil would die? What if your actions destroy the mission all together? Tears free themselves from your eyes, sliding slowly down your cheeks. 

“Hey,” Neil whispers as he moves the hand that rested on your neck up to your left cheek. He wipes away a few tears with his thumb. “It’s alright. We’re going to be fine, don’t worry-,”

Before he can get another word out, you grab his hand. “Stop, please, just stop,” You plead, unable to take anymore. He has to know what he’s doing to you, he just has to, you think, as your sadness slowly turns to anger. It irritated you that he was able to swoop in and save your day. It irritated you that he was able to touch you and comfort you, despite the lack of relationship that you desperately wanted fulfilled more than anything. None of this was fair. It wasn’t fair that he could be this non-nonchalant while you were practically doubled over with butterflies and other real anxieties from the situation you were currently in. 

Neil looks a bit more annoyed now. “I’m just trying to help,” He says, his eyes staring deeply into yours. Those eyes, you could drown in them if you weren’t careful, so you snap back into reality, allowing yourself to feed into your anger. 

“Maybe I don’t need your help,” You say, instantly regretting the words as they leave your lips. 

The corners of Neil’s mouth turn up slightly, his cocky attitude showing yet again. “So back there, earlier,” He gestures backwards, to the past, “You didn’t need my help?” 

You shake your head, “I’m just sick of this.”

Neil’s smile fades away as a confused look finds itself on his face. “Of what?” There’s a sadness in his voice. “Us?” 

His use of“Us” immediately takes you back. ‘What the fuck does he mean by “Us”?’ You ask yourself. You were undeniably close, but he never confirmed or denied his feelings for you.

Your stomach does a back flip before you allow yourself to grow angry again. 

“There is no ‘Us’, and that’s the problem Neil,” You say, pushing him off of you. He stumbles out of the alcove and rushes back in, closing the space between you and him once again. 

Neil gives you a puzzled look.“Bloody hell,” you hear him mumble under his breath. “What the fuck are you talking?” There’s a seriousness in his voice now. His cocky facade disappears into nothingness. He’s frustrated, and it’s all because of you. 

You just couldn’t take it anymore. You needed to say it. 

“Don’t act like you don’t know how I feel.” Your voice is louder now, and it seems as though you’re practically begging to give away your hiding spot. “Neil I-,”

He covers your mouth with his left hand once again. “Alright that’s it,” His voice is still quiet, “You’re the one that needs to stop now. You don’t know how much I-,” 

You push him into the wall before he can get a word out, just as he had interrupted you seconds ago. 

You step out into the hallway. “I don’t know what? How much you don’t care about me?” You notice the sudden pain in Neil’s face. You didn’t expect that, but you also refuse to believe it’s real. “I don’t need you, Neil. I never have and I never will.” 

You begin walking down the hallway as Neil whisper shouts your name, trying to get you to come back without blowing your cover. 

“(Y/N)! Please!” He calls out. 

A hand on your shoulder brings you back to reality and stops you dead in your tracks, “(Y/L/N), I’ve been waiting to meet you.” It’s a familiar voice, a voice you’ve heard before. It’s bitter, callous and malignant. A chill runs up your spine as the name of the voice dawns on you. You flinch, quickly stepping backwards and spinning around to look at the devil-man in front of you. Although, you know he would prefer if you referred to him as a god. 

“Sator,” You curse, spitting on the ground disrespectfully. You brandish your gun, trying to put on your best fake-confident face. Sator doesn’t know you only have two bullets left, and quite frankly he doesn’t need to, you think to yourself. 

Before you can even aim, Sator launches towards you. 

You jump back, and turn around to run. There’s no way you could get away from him in what you were wearing. Your black kitten heals slowed you down a great deal. Your tight, black dress made it hard for you to move in any way at all. 

Sator is right behind you. You kick off your heels, allowing you to speed up a bit. While running barefoot is much better, you know you can’t last forever. You run for a few more seconds before realizing that Sator is only getting closer. 

You turn around, back peddling now. You hold your glock up and aim. 

BANG! 

The bullet misses Sator and ricochets off the tiled wall. What the fuck? You think to yourself as the bullet falls to the ground. The walls must be bullet proof or something. 

Sator is almost within an arm’s reach of you. You lift your gun again and take aim. 

BANG!

But it’s no use. you miss again. This time, the bullet hits such an angle that it comes back straight towards you. It grazes against your left side. 

“FUCK!” You cry out in pain, stumbling a bit. You try your best to continue running, but the pain is far too great to keep going. You feel your legs starting to give out. You crumble to the ground, letting a small whimper of pain escape your lips. You grab your side, blood draining into your hands and onto the floor. 

Sator chuckles maliciously. “You seriously thought you could get away? This is my place. You’re playing in my world,” He shakes his head and reaches for his gun. He points the weapon directly at your head,

“And just so you know, I’m God here.” 

Tears form in your eyes as you hear the gun cock. You brace yourself for impact as your thoughts find their way back to Neil. You hate how you left things, especially considering that would be the last conversation he ever had with you. Guilt began to grow heavy in your stomach. 

What a way to die, totally and completely guilty, a failure, and alone, You think to yourself, as tears fall down your cheeks.

Sator chuckles again. “Crying are we know? Too late for tears, (Y/N). I think you’re all out of time.” You shudder at his words and you prepare for this moment to be your last, shutting your eyes tightly. 

“No! (Y/N)!” A familiar voice cries out from behind you. 

BANG!

You open your eyes to see Sator standing in his place, the gun now pointing above your head. You look down and see a single bullet right next to you. It must have ricochetted off the wall, just like yours did. But where did it come from? You think. 

Turning around slowly, you spot who Sator is pointing his gun towards.

“N-Neil,” You stutter, wincing in pain simply from talking. His gun points back at Sator. His eyes nervously look you up and down. This was far different from when the evening started. You remembered the way Neil looked at you when you had finished getting ready. You remember how he knocked on the door to your hotel room and let himself in. He didn’t wait for you to give him the okay. 

“Wow,” Neil said, taken back by your tight, little black dress. He looked you up and down, seemingly removing each article of clothing in his head. “You look incredible.” 

You missed that moment now. You wish you could just go back. But now you were faced with reality, with a gun in your face. 

Sator looks down at you, and back up to Neil. “I think I’ll let you watch her die, and only after you watch her take her last breath, I’ll kill you too. How’s that?”

“I don’t think that’ll be necessary,” Neil states confidently. You look up at him, confused. 

Just as Sator pulls the trigger, Neil grabs your arm and slides you out of the way. 

In the near distance, just a short ways behind Sator, you see a fiery cloud of orange erupt, followed by a massive boom. Neil somehow was able to orchestrate some sort of explosion.

Sator stops in his tracks and turns to look behind him, giving Neil just enough time to pick you up and run down the hallway, turning down a series of other corridors in an attempt to outrun Sator. 

It isn’t long before Neil realizes that you’re bleeding onto him. “H-holy shit,” He looks down to your left side. “I need to get you out of here.” 

You ignore what he’s saying. “Why did you come back for me?” You whisper to Neil. 

He steals a quick look at you as he continues to run down the hallway, but he doesn’t answer your question. 

You clear your throat and try again. “Why did you come back?” 

He ignores you again as you approach an intersection of 3 hallways, each one looking the exact same as the one you’re currently in. Neil pauses for a second, contemplating his options. His heart is beating out of his chest. You’ve never seen him this nervous. While you had only been at Tenet for about half a year now, you had grown to know Neil far too well. The stolen moments you shared, the kisses you swore to tell no one about. You didn’t know what you were with Neil. You didn’t know if this was superficial or real to him. But, you knew his emotions like you knew the back of your hand. You could tell he was panicking. You had never seen him quite like this. Something was different. Suddenly, Neil grunts and choses to go down the hallway to your right. 

You wanted to say something to him, to talk to him, but you felt yourself falling in and out of consciousness. You knew you needed to stay awake. Neil looked down to check on you and immediately noticed your condition. 

“Stay with me, okay?” He begged. You had never heard Neil talk like this before. “Please stay with me. I’m right here, it’s going to be okay.” He started to pick up his pace, practically sprinting down the hallway now. 

“N-Neil?” You managed to call out to him. 

“Yes, darling?” He responded between gasps for air. You could tell that he was getting tired. 

“Are you okay?” You ask, looking around his body for any signs of blood or even for a possible gun shot wound. 

Neil starts to slow down a bit. He looks down at you again, “I’m alright. It’s you I’m worried about.” 

“You’re not actually worried, are you?” You ask. 

Neil stops for a second, completely out of breath. He takes this as an opportunity to look at your injuries again. He puts his hand over your wound and feels all the blood that’s there. He shakes his head, clearly nervous about how much blood you’ve lost. He readjusts his hold on you, making sure you’re secured in his arms.

He brings his face closer to yours. “Fuck, of course I’m worried about you,” He says in a stern tone. He seems annoyed at the thought that you didn’t know he cared about you. “What the fuck would make you think otherwise?” He isn’t just annoyed now, he’s angry, yet he doesn’t take his face away from yours. You can feel his breath on your nose, just like you did before. The wisps of his hair greet your forehead again too. 

“I-I guess I just don’t know how to read you,” You say, taking a deep breath once you finish your sentence. Neil quickly picked up on your labored breathing and began to jog again. 

There’s silence for just a few seconds before Neil finds the right words to say. “I came back for you because I care about you. The second you left I chased after you. You were just far too quick for me.” 

Your heart flutters in your chest. You didn’t know how much he cared for you. You figured he only saw you as a member of the team, a coworker, a girl to flirt with, someone he had to care for out of convenience and association. The way he was speaking now lead you to believe that he cared for you far beyond that. You stare up into his blue eyes, gathering the courage to finally confess how you feel to him. You felt yourself slipping more quickly out of consciousness, and you desperately wanted him to know how you felt. 

“Neil, I just want you to know that-,”

Your words are interrupted by the loud swinging of a door. Suddenly, you’re outside the now flaming building and in the bitter, dark night. The wind whips and nips at your bare skin. You take a quick look around and remember that you’re in Amsterdam. At least it’s a pretty place to die, You think to yourself. You shiver as the wind attacks you again. 

Neil notices how cold you are. He sets you down on a nearby bench and takes his brown suit jacket off, draping it over you. He picks you up and starts jogging again. 

Just a short ways up the street is the BMW he had been driving for the mission. He opens the car door with one hand, making sure to keep you nestled into his chest with the other. He puts you down on the passenger’s seat, buckles you in, and carefully shuts the door. 

When he gets in on the other side, he sees you drifting off again. “Come on, (Y/N), stay with me, please,” He pleads. He leans over to you and gently kisses your forehead. Your eyelids throw themselves open as Neil’s lips leave your skin. He starts the car engine and begins to drive away. He doesn’t say a thing, but you can’t stop thinking about what just happened. 

“What was that?” You ask, wondering if he simply did that to distract you, to wake you up. He had to know what effect he had on you. 

Neil doesn’t say a thing. He only speeds up, blasting through red lights and ignoring stop signs. You look over at him. He looks like an absolute mad man. His dirty blonde hair is a mess. Dark, purple bags rest under his blue eyes. 

At one point, Neil turns the on the radio and glances at you. “Try to listen to some music, maybe it can keep you awake.” Or maybe his concern for your well being could be enough motivation for you. 

It feels like I only go backwards baby,

Every part of me says, “Go ahead”

I got my hopes up again, oh no, not again,

Feels like we only go backwards, darling. 

Neil somehow gets even faster. You notice that he’s pushing the gas pedal all the way into the floor of the car. You manage to get out one final sentence before losing consciousness, “If I don’t die from this wound, I might die from your driving.”

Then, your eyes shut and the whole world goes black. 

——

Your eyes feel like they’re glued shut, but you force them to open. There’s an arm pulling you in tightly to a firm, warm chest. You inhale deeply, instantly recognizing the scent. 

It was Neil. His face was right in front of yours. He looked so calm, so relaxed. Either this was Heaven, or he somehow managed to save your life from his hotel room. You were hoping it was the latter. You wanted this to be real life.

Neil began to stir about a bit, but his arm never left your back. In fact, the more he stirs, the closer you seem to get to him. You decide to take it all in, because you know reality is going to come crashing down eventually. You know Neil is going to back off of you, apologize, and quickly say that he was merely watching over you to make sure you weren’t dying and didn’t mean to fall asleep. There was no way that he meant to hold you like that. 

“Good morning,” Neil said casually, not taking his arm off of you. He manages to pull you even closer still. Now your noses are touching. A playful smile stretches across Neil’s lips. 

You couldn’t believe this was happening. You’re shocked, too shocked to say a thing. 

Your silence makes Neil concerned, “What’s wrong? Did I do something? Are you in pain?”

You smile at him, “No, everything is okay. Of course I’m in pain, but this feels good.” Neil’s smile reappears. But, you’re still confused. “I just need to know something Neil,” You say, as the smile disappears from Neil’s face yet again. 

“What’s the matter?” He asks as he draws letters on your back, or at least that’s what it feels as though he’s doing.  

You shake your head slightly. “Nothing is the matter,” You pause, recalling the events of the previous night. “It’s just, am I okay? How much blood did I loose? And Neil I need to know how you feel about-,” 

Neil abruptly cuts your rambling off, “You’re alright. I took care of you after you passed out. I cleaned out the wound and sowed you up. It was easier to do with you asleep, to be honest. I don’t think you would’ve like it very much,” Neil grins before continuing, “Luckily your heart rate stayed completely stable the whole time.” 

You nod your head, waiting for him to address the half asked question towards the end of your rambling that he seemed to get the understanding of. But, there’s no response. 

You decide it’s time to say something. It can’t wait any longer. “Neil, I need to know what all this means. I need to know how you feel about me.” 

“Likewise,” He returns, but there’s no grin upon his face. He’s serious, if not somber. 

Regardless, you’re annoyed. “Likewise?” You repeat back to him. “I’ve liked you since the second I saw you, and I feel as though I’ve made that abundantly clear. I’ve given you all the signs, all the hints, and you just continue to play these stupid ga-,”

Neil cuts you off, “I had to sit there and watch you almost die. I worked on your wound all night. I’ve been fucking terrified for the past 12 hours wondering whether or not you would make it. I ditched the team to make sure you were safe, and I don’t regret that choice one bit. These aren’t games (Y/N). Being in love with someone isn’t a fucking game.” 

Silence fills the room. Being in love with someone…those words repeated over and over again in your head. You couldn’t let them go. 

Neil catches gaze and holds it. He’s waiting for something from you, but you don’t know how to communicate how you feel anymore. It was like he broke you. 

You know Neil can’t take the tension anymore, and before you can say a word, Neil’s lips hungrily crash into yours. He grabs your waist carefully, keeping you pulled in tight without hurting your wound. 

Neil’s lips leave yours. “Are you happy now?” He asks, brushing where he just was with his thumb. 

“Y-yes,” You say, wanting more. 

“Then it’s settled,” Neil states confidently. He smiles slyly, as he always does.

You’re confused beyond belief. “What is?”

“That you’re mine,” Neil says, taking your chin in between his index finger and thumb. He brings your face closer to his, and kisses you again. 

[young-dumb-and-vaccinated]

The Cult Girl (Hannibal x Female!Reader) pt. 8

Sorry if this one is a bit shorter. I didn't want to make part 7 insanely long so I just split the story in a way that made sense to me. Y/n lets Hannibal take care of the mess and narrowly avoids a mental breakdown in a CVS.

Trigger warning: blood, violence, gaslighting, ⚠️emetophobia⚠️

You stood up from your seat, your brain refusing to process what just happened.

"Oh look." You said, pointing down. "Her face landed in the glass and there's blood everywhere."

Hannibal casually glanced over the table. The ends of his mouth turned up slightly. "So there is."

The reality of the situation was just starting to set in. You took a deep breath in, expecting to scream, but nothing came out. Instead, you finished your glass of wine. 

Noticing your distress, Hannibal crossed the floor and took a knee beside her. He pressed his fingers against her neck. 

“She’s alive.” He assured you. “For now.” 

You didn’t know whether to be relieved or disappointed, and the indecision made you panic even more. “So what do we do now? What do I do now?” 

“Well,” Hannibal stood up. “She’s pretty severely concussed and losing a lot of blood. We could call an ambulance. With proper medical care and immediate action, she’ll probably live.” 

You froze in your spot and stared blankly off into the distance. You didn’t feel overly compelled to call for help. You were too overwhelmed with emotion to move much, anyway. You felt your soul leaving your body. 

“...But I take it by your inaction,” Hannibal piped up. “That you’re open to an alternate plan?” 

“Huh?” You snapped out of your trance. 

Hannibal closed the space between you. He cupped your face in his hand, his thumb running comfortingly along your cheek. “Do you trust me?” 

You didn’t fully know what you were agreeing to, but you didn’t care. “Of course I do.” 

“Then listen to me very carefully, [Y/N].” Hannibal’s voice hardened with severity. “Go upstairs and change back into your day clothes. Then, I want you to drive to the pharmacy and withdraw some cash from the ATM. Then stay in the store until I call you, understood?” 

You nodded. 

“Go now.” He ordered, pulling away from you. 

You sprinted up the stairs, tore off your gown and pulled the nearest pair of pants over your legs in one fluid motion. You grabbed a shirt and a hoodie hanging over a chair and snatched up your car keys. In a moment, you were out the door and behind the wheel, speeding away from the crime scene. 

The pharmacy was the only place open so late at night. You pulled into the parking lot and selected one of the many vacant spots. You took your key out of the ignition and prepared yourself for an onslaught of emotion. But it didn’t come. 

You sat in the driver’s seat, replaying the scene in your head over and over again. One second, the bottle was in your hand, the next, it was breaking every bone in Theresa’s face. You could have very well taken a life that day. But it wasn’t an innocent person on the road, it was Theresa. The same Theresa that put Nair in her sister’s shampoo and lobbied against child labor laws. And she died the way she lived; running her stupid mouth, waiting for someone to shut her up. 

You were more terrified of Hannibal's response than anything else. He seemed too enthusiastic to cover your tracks for you. Like he was returning to some favorite game he hadn't picked up in a while.

You shuffled across the parking lot to the ATM. Why did Hannibal need cash? Was he going to pay someone off? He didn't specify how much he needed. Was $100 enough to bribe the police? You settled on $100.

The bright fluorescent lights scalded your eyes. You needed to look like you were there for a reason. Grabbing a basket, you tried to distract yourself by going through the shopping list for your apartment.

Toilet paper, hand sanitizer, and body wash. Pilar is allergic to coconut oil so we need to check the ingredients. You found yourself narrating the shopping list in your head, even though it was one you ran down hundreds of times. You knew which brand of body wash to get Pilar, but you were grabbing random soaps and thumbing through the ingredients anyway.

On your way to the cough syrups, you felt a terrible pain in your stomach. You caved around the pain, regretting devouring that pot-au-feu so quickly. When you opened your eyes again, you saw them: the pregnancy tests.

No. You said to yourself. I am not going to keep Theresa alive by letting her get into my head.

As if on cue, another pang of pain reverberated from your core. It was bad enough Theresa had you doubting your memories, now she had you doubting your own body. She couldn’t possibly know your own body better than you, and she was out of line to suggest so.

But, whether you wanted to accept it or not, Theresa had planted the seed in your brain. You wanted so badly to claw it out with your bare hands. The most painless route, though, was to purchase one of those tests and prove her wrong.

In the meantime, you assured yourself she was wrong. You hadn't missed a day of birth control since the tenth grade. Regardless, the pregnancy test in your basket weighed a ton.

Your phone buzzed in your pocket, sending you flying out of your skin. The lone cashier took notice.

"You okay, miss?"

You nodded, though you were so clearly not okay. With a trembling hand, you brought the phone up to your ear. "Hello?"

"It's safe now, darling." Hannibal said. "You can come home."

He said it so candidly, it was obvious that he'd done it before.

"Okay, baby, I'll see you at home." You answered, a little too loudly. As the words left your mouth you felt stupid. You'd never once called Hannibal 'baby' and you sure as hell weren't gonna start today.

You brought your items to the cashier, the pain in your stomach worsening. You made a point to waddle back to the medicine aisle and grab some painkillers before the cashier could finish ringing everything up.

By the time you were back behind the wheel, you were fighting the urge to drive off a cliff. The pain in your stomach was unbearable and you had no idea where it was coming from. It had to be psychosomatic. Your body was compensating for the shortcomings of your brain. You knew you were supposed to feel guilty but you just didn't, and your body was punishing you for it.

At home you were clutching the toilet, vomiting your guts out. Hannibal was at your side, gently stroking your hair. Again, acting as candidly as if he were nursing a hangover.

"I'm so sorry." You croaked, lifting your head from the toilet. "I don't know what this is. I didn't even drink that much."

"Don't apologize." He said, calmly. He stood up, filled a glass with water and offered it to you. "You're overwhelmed. It's natural."

"You say this like you've done this before." You joked, though you knew you were right. You clutched the glass with both hands, the coolness feeling good against your hot skin.

Hannibal took a knee beside you. His finger found a blade of your hair and tucked it behind your ear. "Now, we're not going to tell anyone about this, are we?"

He was fully aware of how intimidating he really was.

"I would never." You traced an x over your heart. "Swear on my grandfather's grave."

"Good girl." He traced your jawline with his finger. "Your intuition is as sharp as ever, I see."

You took a long sip of water. "Huh?"

"Don't insult your own intelligence, you know what I mean."

"You've hidden bodies before." You inferred, sitting up.

"I've done more than hide bodies, love, and I think you know that." Hannibal corrected.

Your first instinct was to stand up and get more wine, but moving too fast made you dizzy. "...so did it hurt?"

Hannibal raised an eyebrow. "I beg your pardon?"

"When Theresa died." You said, quietly. "Did she hurt at all?"

This pleased and surprised him to hear. "No. She was so heavily concussed, I doubt she felt anything."

You frowned. "Damn."

"Did you have something else in mind?"

Theresa's last words rung over in your head. 'I didn't think you had it in you'. The thoughts flooding your mind, about how Theresa would go were it up to you, assured you that you did in fact have it in you.

"I would have liked to see her suffer a little." You muttered under your breath.

"I'll keep that in mind for next time." He smiled and offered you his hand. "Come on, love. Let's get you cleaned up."

[imkylotrash]

Meet Me In The Hallway (1)

Pairing: Sky x reader

Summary: Summer is coming to an end and so is your little fling once Stella finds out. 

A/N I had a request asking for an ice fairy which is why the reader in this series will have ice powers. 

Series Masterlist 

“Ready to be seen by the world?” Sky asks as he comes up behind you. Gravity forces your hands to intertwine or at least you tell yourself that’s the reason why you never seem able to keep your hands to yourself.

“I hardly think Alfea constitutes as being seen by the world,” you laugh. This summer has been everything you could’ve asked for and more - returning to school is scary. You don’t want to lose this thing you and Sky have built together. Making the first move meant risking your friendship but what you had now was so much better. 

“What’s going on in that mind of yours?” he asks stopping just by the gate to Alfea.

“I was just thinking that I’m really happy I made the first move,” you smirk thinking back to that night and the first kiss you two shared. Your heart had been pounding in your chest all night just waiting for the right moment. 

“I’m pretty happy about that myself,” he says leaning in to kiss you except he never gets the chance. 

“Look at what we have here.” Sky’s face lights up with instant regret hearing her voice. You remember how miserable he was when he was with her and you’re guessing she won’t be too happy that the two of you got together. She’s always been jealous of you and Sky’s friendship and now she can say that she had every right to be. 

“What do you want, Stella?” It’s clear as day that Sky just wants to move on with his day and not have to handle of the tantrums, Stella will most likely throw. You squeeze his hand gently to let him know that you’re right there next to him which calms him down just a little.  

“I just wanted to congratulate you. I heard you found someone new but now that I see who it is... Well, I guess downgrading was the only option after me.” You know she’s trying to convince herself more than you but it’s just such a cheap shot. You hate the need to put other women down to make yourself feel better. 

“Listen, Stella-”

“I’m having a conversation with Sky, darling. Don’t interrupt the grownups.” Your hands are shaking with rage as you close your mouth not wanting to create a scene on the first day back. Sky doesn’t hold back though. 

“If anything, I’ve upgraded. To a gorgeous, kind hearted, good person. Y/N makes me happy and I thought we were mature enough to be happy for each other.” He drags you with him as he storms past Stella. You look back for a second freezing a small puddle of water. There’s a satisfying smack as she falls ass first. 

“Did you do that?” Sky laughs. It’s petty and stupid, but you hate the way she treats Sky. Like he’s some kind of property she can just claim whenever she feels like it. 

“I know I should be above it but she just irks me.” This time Sky does kiss you. Sweet and short but it’s just what you need. 

“I have to get to practice. Silva is waiting for me but I’ll see you after?” 

“I’ll come find you.” He kisses you again before heading off towards the training grounds and in turn leaving you to fend for yourself as Stella approaches. 

“You know, I thought I’d just let this little thing play out and wait for Sky to realise that you’re nothing. But I’m going to need this to end right now.” Her absurd demands make you laugh. She can’t just order you to end things with Sky. You wonder if she truly has lost it. 

“I’m not ending things with Sky. You had your chance and you dumped him.” If there’s one thing you truly hate, it’s a bully. And Stella won’t get to bully you into breaking up with Sky. You’re finally happy. 

“Perhaps I didn’t make myself clear. If you don’t break up with Sky, I will tell the entire school about the exciting stuff from your file.” Her smile is sickly sweet. 

“Wh-What?” you stutter hoping she’s bluffing. There’s no way for her to know, is there? 

“You heard me. When I heard about you and Sky, I snuck into Farah’s office to find dirt on you. And boy, let me tell you. There’s quite a lot you’ve hidden from everyone.” Your hands are shaking but this time it’s from fear. No one can find out especially not Sky. He’d be repulsed by you if he found out what you’ve been hiding. 

“Please don’t tell anyone,” you plead well-knowing she has the upper hand. 

“Break up with Sky and I won’t.” It feels like you can’t breathe. Are you crying? You lift your hand up to your face and feel something wet on your cheeks. It’s shock paralysing you. Stella knows your darkest secret and she’s dangling it in front of you knowing she holds all the power. There’s isn’t really much of a choice for you as you head over to find Sky. This will break your heart and even worse it’ll break Sky’s. You can’t believe Stella doesn’t care about all the hurt she’s inflicting. She claims to care for Sky but you would never do this to someone you love. 

“I have to talk to you.” Riven laughs yelling something about trouble as you and Sky head away from the others. You don’t need an audience for this. 

“Babe, you’re scaring me a little.” He puts his hand on your shoulder to stop you from moving.

“Look at me?” he asks and slowly you turn around to face him. 

“I’ve been thinking all day almost going crazy. Now that we’re back, it’s like reality hit, Sky. I’m so sorry but I don’t think I can do this.” You say it quickly before your feelings overwhelm you. There’s no air in your lungs, your heart has stopped beating. 

“I don’t understand,” he says looking at you searching your face for answers he won’t find. 

“We were good this morning. Is this about Stella?” he asks. You’re careful to keep your face neutral knowing he’ll grasp onto any sign that might hint at an explanation. 

“This is about me. I just think we work better as friends.” It sounds weak even to you but it’s not just Sky’s heart breaking right now. The fight has left your body but it’s raging in Sky. You have to let him down completely in order to make sure he doesn’t fight for you. 

“I don’t want you like that, Sky. I’ve tried and it just didn’t work out for me.” You shrug hoping he’ll understand that there’s nothing to salvage. 

“I can’t go back to how things were before. Not now that I know-” he stops trying to keep his voice from cracking. He doesn’t need to finish the sentence, you already know what he was going to say. 

“I’m so sorry, Sky. I really am.” 

“If you were sorry, you wouldn’t have done this,” he says hoping you’ll take it back but you don’t. You tell yourself that this is for the best. If people found out what you truly are, where you come from. If Sky knew, he wouldn’t want to be with you anyway and you couldn’t bear that. 

“I don’t know what else to say.” The pain in his eyes crumbles your spirit. To know that you’re the cause makes you want to scream. Instead you place a hand on his shoulder and say: “I’m sorry I hurt you.” As you walk away, you spot Stella watching from afar with the same sickly smile as before. You promise yourself you’ll find a way to make all of this go away so you and Sky can be together. As long as he doesn’t give up on you. 

[colossalcriminal]

Uptown Girl - s.r

Pairing: 40s!Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader

Summary: 25 year old Steve Rogers finds himself infatuated with the well off 18 year old girl who gets Howard Stark coffee.

Warnings: Smoking, alcohol consumption and character death. Not proofread and bad writing.

He'd seen her around plenty, hell, he knew her. Almost always gliding through the streets in the most beautiful designer dresses, sometimes with another girl, arms clad in shopping bags from some of the greatest fashion houses. She also had a knack for wearing trousers that accentuated her legs, always receiving a flustered reaction from the men around her.

It was no doubt she was stunning, perhaps the prettiest girl he'd ever seen in his short 24 years of living. Bucky had always teased him relentlessly, encouraging his best friend to 'snatch her up before someone else does.'

It was a regular occurrence for him to be saved in an alleyway by the sergeant, especially when Steve Rogers didn't know when to back down, or how to. It was only when he showed Steve the newspaper he noticed her figure further down the alley, puffs of smoke leaving her lips.

Steve Rogers found it hard to understand how someone as beautiful as her could commit to an ugly act such as smoking. He was ashamed to admit that the nasty habit hadn't once dwindled his infatuation towards her. "Hey, Y/N!" Bucky called out, gaining her attention. "Shouldn't you be at work?"

Y/N sauntered over to the men with her signature dazzling smile, lips painted in the most ravishing shade of red that'd printed onto the cigarette that rested between her fingers. "Howard's got me off early." She gasped, instantly putting the cigarette out. "Sorry, Steve. I almost forgot I shouldn't light one around you."

Steve's smile reeked with nerves. "It's okay." He stuttered.

"So, he's Howard now?" Bucky nudged her.

She rolled her eyes, resting a hand on her hip. "Put a cap on it, Barnes. Anyways, where are you boys off to?"

"Your boss' expo." He displayed the paper to her, pointing to the large ad.

With a small nod, her attention was back on the skinny boy. "Picking me up, Steve?"

Waking up from his day dream, finally in the headspace to speak to the magnificent woman before him, his nod was quick. "Huh? Oh, yes. Definitely."

"I'll see you later tonight at 6pm sharp, then. Bye." She grinned at the blonde, waving as she proceeded to walk away.

"Bye, Y/N." His reply was too quiet to hear as she was too far away, but the butterflies in his stomach didn't care for that. Sighing at Bucky's light chuckles, he shook his head, mentally scolding himself for the awkward interaction.

"At least you got a date."

"Yeah," He whispered to himself, almost impressed. "at least I got a date."

-

6:01pm his watch read as he stood before the house - mansion - nervous creeping up the back of his spine, the large house looming over him as if he were in a nightmare.

And it was the exact time she popped her head out of her bedroom window signaling to Steve. "Just wait a minute! Dad's home, so I have to escape!" She whisper-yelled.

He'd gotten a glance of her frock. His heart pounding at the view of her hair curled into perfect ringlets, makeup even more accentuating than it was earlier that day. He watched her disappear, before quietly slipping through the front door and making her way to him. "Sorry, he doesn't like me being out in the evening."

"Well, I can understand with a beautiful dame like you, sorry woman, not dame. Young woman."

Y/N giggled at his ramble. "You have no idea how to talk to a woman, do you?" Steve smiled bashfully at her lightheartedness. "It's alright, not like I'm anyone important."

He cocked his head inquisitively. "And what do you mean by that?"

Sighing, she looped her arm through his, an action that sent his vision loopy as he inwardly cheered. "I mean, I'm just a girl with big dreams who spends daddy's money and gets coffee for Howard Stark. Nothing big."

Steve maintained his unfazed exterior, resisting the urge to stare down at their linked arms. "Tell me about these big dreams."

"I want to be a scientist, well, more of a techy one like Howard is. The idea of flying cars within a few years is so, invigorating!" She beamed. "Don't you think?"

He smiled at her, nodding. "Well, I hope you'll be around to fly our first car, considering you're so insistent on enlisting."

"Bucky thinks I can't do it, that's why they keep rejecting me."

Y/N hummed, lips curling into a small pout. "I think you could do it," He perked up at this. "you could. But just because you can, doesn't mean you should, Steve."

Before he could respond, they'd already been greeted and called over from afar by Bucky.

Y/N didn't let herself feel too downhearted when Stark's flying car show failed, but she did find herself frowning when she followed Steve to the recruitment booth.

She pulled him towards her, Bucky not far off. "Come on, soldier." She joked. "Take me dancing."

"You go ahead, I'll catch up."

Guilt had presented itself to Steve on a silver platter when he saw her shoulders drop. "You're really going to do this again?" Bucky deadpanned, unimpressed.

"I'll leave you guys to talk it out. Meet me there?" The blonde nodded, missing her small wave as she departed.

An hour and 49 minutes later she found herself walking home alone, rubbing her arms in an attempt to abandon any feeling of cold, or even worse, loneliness.

-

It was 2 days later when Steve finally caught her leaving her office, cigarette in hand. He couldn't help it when he gazed at the pearl earrings she wore, framing her face so perfectly, accompanied by the stray hairs that'd escaped her updo.

"Y/N!"

His voice had only expanded her annoyance as she watched the smoke exit her mouth, ignoring his calls. "Go away, Rogers."

He panted, finally catching up to her. "I'm sorry, I really am."

"What for? The fact that you ditched me on our date or that you went radio silent for 2 days?"

He pursed his lips, closing his eyes in regret. "Please, let me take you out again before I start training?"

Y/N let out a dry chuckle. "Congrats." She put out her cigarette, still mindful of the blond's asthma. "That's not the point, Steve. I wanted to go out with you because I like you! Because you're different! But it turns out I was wrong. So, good luck in training, I'm sure you'll do great. If you're alive by the end of the war, come find me."

"Please, Y/N. I really, really like you."

She'd already began walking away. "You should've thought about that before you asked to get yourself killed."

Without much thought, Steve reached forward, wrapping his fingers around her wrist as soft as possible, the surprise on her face echoed onto his own. "And what if I don't die?"

Scoffing, she shook her head. "You sound so certain."

"Because I am."

"I will not wait for you to come home and receive a letter explaining your death instead."

"Deal."

With a peculiar brow, Y/N sighed. "Where are we going then, Mr. Rogers?"

His lips spread into a beautiful grin. "Anywhere you want, Ms. L/N."

They'd spent 3 full days together before Steve began training.

The first day was spent at and around the theatre, watching as many movies as possible and eating as much popcorn as one can.

The second day, he made it up to her by taking her dancing. Y/N took the time to teach him how to waltz, giggling every time he stepped on her shoes.

The third day was spent at his home, alone. Away from the crowded atmosphere of her house, she taught him how to cook the simplest of dishes, making sure he knew how to feed himself incase no one else did.

It was hard for her not to get teary eyed as Y/N layed her hands on his cheeks, cupping his face daintily. Steve leaned into the soft touch, corners of his mouth tugging downwards. "So, I guess this is goodbye."

"Yeah, it is." He whispered, eyes staring into hers with utmost intensity, a false reality in his head tricking him into believing he wouldn't have to leave her if their eyes never broke contact.

"You better make it back to me, Rogers."

"Of course I will, Y/N."

The grief had already sunk in her, the feeling in her belly so overwhelming, heart fluttering violently as she pulled him to her, lips touching so softly. Steve didn't freeze like he thought he would- he didn't have time to freeze. He did his best, pulling her closer and kissing him back with the most confidence he could muster.

Y/N's smile was almost minuscule when they pulled away, hands moving down to grip onto his uniform, her head in a lovesick daze. "How could I not make it back to you?"

"Well, I am your best girl."

He quirked an eyebrow. "My only girl."

"We'll see about that when you come home a war hero. All the ladies would drop down to your feet."

"All the women in the world and I'd still choose you."

Returning home, she closed the front door quietly, making her way to the living room to find her father engrossed in the small tv box. "Hi." She spoke quietly, hoping not to disturb him as she kissed his cheek, hoping to walk away.

"Sit." Y/N's father offered her the seat next to him, never taking his eyes off the program as she sunk into the sofa, her frock filling out around her. "Lowell's been talking a lot."

She stiffened slightly, subconsciously crossing her legs and straightening her shoulders. "Oh, you know not to listen to Lowell. All he does is gossip. Him and his wife, vultures they are."

"He tells me you've been spending a lot of time with Sarah's boy, Steve."

"Yes, I have. He just recently went off to train."

He finally looked at her. "You scared?"

"A little."

"Then it's a mistake."

Y/N's face was blank as she fiddled with her fingernails and stared off into the distance. "I know."

Her father shook his head. "Then you'll know to break it off."

"No, I won't." He looked perplexed at her reply. "Because it may be a mistake now, he may die any day, but at least I'd gotten the chance to be with him."

He only huffed, muttering something along the lines of "Childish."

She decided to change the subject, not wanting the conversation to sour even more. "Where's Eliza?"

"She's out."

"What are we watching?"

"The Mark of Zorro."

"Can we watch something else? Sullivan's Travels is on."

"No."

"I'll be in my room then."

"Fine."

She stood, getting one last glimpse of her father. "You know daddy, I do love him. And who knows? Maybe he'll survive. Maybe we'll get married and live a happily ever after. If that does happen, I hope you'll be happy for me."

-

She knew they were selecting the 'lucky' one to be titled 'super soldier.' She'd been working alongside Howard, the older man curious of her expertise for an 18 year old but nonetheless grateful for her help.

Y/N certainly didn't expect Steve to walk through the doors of the laboratory, accompanied by Peggy Carter. "Jesus Christ, Steve." She gasped, embracing him.

He wrapped his arms around her, concern growing when the smallest patch of tears had formed on his t-shirt. He watched as she pulled away. "Hi." Steve greeted.

"Oh, hi." She chuckled through tears. "I'm sorry, go talk to Erskine and we'll chat later." His hands lingered on her, before he slowly nodded, doing as told.

Minutes later, her fear only grew as he layed down in what she called the pod. "Comfortable?" She queried.

"It's a little big." He commented. Y/N graced him with her smile, a real, but concerned smile. "Maybe we could get dinner later?"

"Alright, loverboy. One thing at a time." She teased. "Howard, what are our levels?"

"Levels at 100%."

"I have to say something," He almost begged. "I think I'm in love with you."

Chuckling, she held his face in her hands. "I think I'm in love with you, too, Steve." Blowing him a kiss, she waved her love goodbye before leaving to stand beside Howard. "We may dim half the lights in Brooklyn, but we are ready as we'll ever be."

She just barely missed Steve's terrified, longing glance that had remained on her back as she worked diligently, how the cold metal around him sent shivers down his spine, aching for the warmth of her touch.

Erskine began his speech into the microphone. "but we are ready as we'll ever be. today we take not another step towards annihilation, but the first step on the path to peace. We begin with a series of microinjections into the subject's major muscle groups. The serum infusion will cause immediate cellular change. And then, to stimulate growth, the subject will be saturated with Vita-Rays. Serum infusion beginning in five, four, three, two, one."

Hesitating the slightest bit, Y/N pulled the lever, eyes tearing at Steve's small grunts as each small vial emptied itself. Howard pulled his own lever, elevating the pod into a standing form, closing the blonde in. "Steven? Can you hear me?"

"It's probably too late to go to the bathroom now, right?"

She couldn't help but smile at his witty answer. "We will proceed."

"10%."

"20%."

"30."

"That's 40%."

"Vital signs are normal."

"That's 50%."

"60."

"70."

The beam emitting from the pod became too bright for the eye, the sound of Steve's groans had morphed into pained screams, shattering Y/N's heart with every yell. "Shut it down! Kill the reactor, Howard!"

"No!" He protested. "Don't! I can do this!"

Howard looked at her with a sense of sympathy. "Eighty."

"Ninety."

"That's 100%."

Sparks had erupted throughout the machinery, surges of light blinding them until it had died down, everything and everyone dead silent. Within seconds, the pod had opened, revealing a brand new Steve Rogers.

Y/N cried in relief, instantly running to tend to him, helping him out of the device. "You did it, sweetheart."

"I did it."

"Yes, you did. How do you feel?"

He panted, surveying his surroundings before looking down at her. "Taller."

She barely took a minute to lock her gaze onto the newly formed muscles on his body.

With a giggle, she handed him a shirt. "You look taller." He grinned, using his newfound strength to pick her up, a loud squeal leaving her painted lips.

A loud explosion went off, the glass pane that guarded the viewing room had shattered onto the people congratulating Erskine below. Erskine had fallen to the ground after multiple gunshots, Steve making his way to the scientist while Y/N had continued shooting at the perpetrator as he escaped, soon running after him.

Running out onto the street, she caught her breath, deathly stare on the car that had her target. She shot once, no luck. Once again, the vehicle had swerved, colliding with a parked car nearby.

Kruger had gotten into a different car, accelerating at full speed towards the young woman, challenging her as she raised her gun once again.

No impact or gunshot ever occurred as Steve had pulled her out of the way, leaving her on the sidewalk. "I had him!"

"Sorry!" He ran, leaving her to pursue Kruger himself.

-

After Y/N had helped Steve save the men of the 107th, the pair had received a few weeks of reprieve in the beautiful city of London.

Steve admired her as she applied the black pigment onto her eyes with utmost accuracy, the trousers and blouse she wore complimenting her in such marvelous ways he couldn't comprehend. He got up from where he stood, taking long strides towards her, placing a hand on her waist and smiling when his reflection came into view on her vanity mirror. "Hi."

"Hello." She giggled, leaning into him. "Enjoying the view?"

He nodded, swiftly turning her to face him. His grin had dropped into a sly smile as he let go of her, ignoring her inquisitive looks as he dropped down, one knee hitting the carpeted floor. Pulling out a small box, she gasped instantly. "The ring isn't expensive, or lavish." He started, displaying the solitaire diamond ring.

"Oh my god, Steve."

"I love you, Y/N. I want to grow old with you, and share my life with you. I want to have a future with you, and I want it to start now. Right here in this obnoxiously rainy place," They both laughed. "will you marry me?"

Y/N let out a breathy laugh, nodding with clouded eyes filled with tears. "Oh, of course I'll marry you, Steve." She pulled him up, smushing his face against her own into a kiss, the pair of them smiling into it. "I wouldn't want anything else."

Steve wasn't lying when he said he wanted to start now, within 5 days he stood at the end of a chapel with Bucky by his side as best man and Y/N in a pearly white frock and a makeshift veil bought at the nearest corner shop.

It didn't matter that the dress was picked out last minute, or that the veil was advertised to be a gag gift. Nothing could rival the grins on the couples' faces when they said "I do." rings slipping onto their fingers and lips joining in a moment of utter bliss.

It was later that night when Y/N crawled out of bed, slipping on Steve's blazer to shield her bare body from the cold air seeping into the bedroom through the open window. Sitting at the desk, pen in hand, she sucked in a deep breath.

Dear daddy,

We're in London now. Steve managed to save the men of the 107th, I'm sure you've seen the posters all around. He's America's beacon of hope.

I hope Eliza and ma are good. I hope you're good.

I'm writing to let you know that Steve and I got married today. It was fast, we just got engaged last week, but nothing has ever felt more right. Writing this letter, the ring sparkling in the moonlight, it's perfect. I don't regret anything.

Steve has assembled his team, they called themselves the Howling Commandos and I couldn't be more proud. He promises that once they get all of HYDRA's bases, the war will be over and everything will hopefully go back to normal.

I got my happy end, daddy. I know it's not the end, it's just the beginning of a perfect life. A perfect life with my perfect husband, and hopefully my perfect family. I hope you're happy for me.

With all my love,

Y/N Rogers.

"What are you writing, Mrs. Rogers?" Steve queried, sat upright in bed.

Y/N smirked before climbing back into bed, ridding herself of the severely oversized blazer. "Nothing, Mr. Rogers."

The pair broke out into a fit of laughter as he pulled her close, hand trailing up and down her back, dangerously close to the soft skin of her backside.

-

2 years later, a year after the well grieved death of Bucky Barnes, Y/N had turned 20 and the couple had decided it was time to add to their family now that some light was finally at the end of the tunnel after a long 6 years of war.

Tangled in a mess of sheets, limbs intertwined, Y/N rested her head on her lover's heartbeat. "Do you think we made a baby?" She asked timidly.

"Maybe." She let out a faint giggle, eliciting a look of confusion from the super soldier. "What is it?"

"Do you think the baby will be super duper strong? A mini Steve who can lift an entire car up as a little boy?"

Steve chuckled, snuggling her closer. "Or a little girl, just as strong as you. Either way, they'd be beautiful."

She hummed, a hand on his cheek. "With my eyes and your beautiful blond hair, I'd think so."

It was that same day Y/N would find herself supervising one of Steve's missions from base. "Come in, this is Captain Rogers. Do you read me?"

She instantly rushed over to the microphone. "Steve? Is that you? Are you okay?"

"Y/N! Schmidt's dead!"

"What about the plane?"

"That's a little bit tougher to explain."

She huffed. "Give me your coordinates, I'll find you a safe landing site."

"There's not going to be a safe landing. But I can try and force it down."

"I'll get Howard on, he'll know what to do."

"There's not enough time. This thing's moving too fast and it's heading for New York. I got to put her in the water."

Y/N's stomach dropped, her heart threatening to leap out of her chest as she anxiously twisted her wedding and engagement rings. "Please don't do this. We have time, we can work this out." She begged, eyes brimming with tears.

"Right now I'm in the middle of nowhere. If I wait any longer a lot of people are going to die, sweetheart. This is my choice, Y/N." She didn't say anything, her head dropping onto the palm of her hands. "Y/N, honey?"

"I'm here."

"We might have to reschedule that doctor's appointment."

Taking in a shaky breath, she wiped the tears of her cheeks with haste, as if Steve could see her. "Alright. I'll book it for Monday."

"You got it."

"10am, on the dot. We can't be late, it's our baby. If there is one in there."

"I want you to know, I love you, Y/N. No matter what. You'll always be my best girl. My only girl."

"I love you too, Steve."

"I was thinking about names. I want to name it after your dad if it's a boy."

She choked a sob, nodding. "Yeah, yeah. I don't mind."

"And if it's a girl-"

"Steve?" Nothing. Not a single breath. She collapsed onto the desk in a mess of tears and loud cries, not caring for Colonel Phillips who stood behind her, a look of pity set on her back.

-

2011 was a long way away from 1945, Steve thought.

It'd taken him too long to come to terms with the fact that his wife was most likely dead, but when Nick Fury had presented him a box of her belongings, he couldn't help but shed a tear as he sat on the floor of his apartment going through it.

He'd found the necklace he gifted her on their first wedding anniversary, an accessory he now wore himself under his clothing, slipping her wedding and engagement ring onto the chain before putting it on. He grasped it close to his heart, a melancholy sigh leaving his lips.

His eyes narrowed when he came across an unfamiliar book, flipping it open.

Dear Steve,

The war is finally over as of 2 days ago, Japan formally surrendered. I wish you were able to celebrate the victory you worked so hard for.

You missed our doctor's appointment today. You'll be sleeping on the couch tonight after I reminded you to be there at 10am, no later.

I'm pregnant, Steve. What we've been waiting so long for has finally happened and you're not here to see it. I've decided to work with Howard once the baby is here, he'll give me flexible hours and good pay. Enough to keep us going and Peggy's good company.

I'm alone now, now Bucky to help me out, no you. I think I'll keep the house. It would be nice for the baby to grow up in the house we bought together.

I don't know why I've started writing in this stupid thing.

With all my love,

Y/N.

The super soldier let out a strained sob at the confirmation. She was pregnant, and he wasn't there.

He'd missed the entirety of his child's life, and the rest of hers.

The next few pages were short blurbs of her outings with Peggy and Howard, grocery lists and so on.

Dear Steve,

The baby is getting big, I've got a little bump now. Only 24 weeks to go.

Everyone is really excited, maybe more than I am. It's all over the papers "Wife of Captain America pregnant with America's Next Hope."

In truth, I don't want our child to be America's Next Hope.

I just want them to be happy and healthy, and to stay with me forever.

Howard's started building the crib, I told him not to make it too technical. He's putting all kinds of soothers and all everywhere, but it's still nice of him to do so. Peggy took me to London for Christmas and New Year's, we had a nice time and she bought me this beautiful dress. You would've loved it.

I miss you, Steve.

Merry Christmas and a happy new year, my love.

Forever yours,

Y/N.

Dear Steve,

It's getting warmer, and April has never felt hotter. Howard and Peggy keep saying it's just me and my big belly. Well, what else would I expect at 7 months pregnant?

Sometimes I feel you around. I'll feel you sitting at the kitchen counter, reading the paper. Or your hand on my belly in the morning. You're all over the house and somehow it's breaking and mending my heart at the same time.

These daily entries are getting a bit boring now, aren't they?

I hope you read these in a different lifetime, maybe.

Your only girl,

Y/N.

Dear Steve,

Josephine Sarah Stephanie Rogers was born on the 6th of June, 1946.

I named her after your dad, Joe.

I know we never talked about girl names, but I looked at her and I couldn't resist. I just know our little girl is going to change the world, just like your father tried to.

She's a carbon copy of you. Your gorgeous blue eyes, bright blonde hair. She's absolutely perfect, Steve.

And I just know that if you'd met her, she'd have you wrapped around her finger.

But she's all ours, baby. Our little angel, and I couldn't thank you enough for giving me such a stunning gift. Thank you for making me a mother, Steve, it's the best thing I could've ever received from you.

We love you to the moon and back,

Y/N and Josephine.

Steve held his hand to his mouth. He was a father, a father to what would now be a 65 year old woman. A woman who'd already lived most her life, achieved a majority of her milestones, all without him.

Dear Steve,

Happy birthday, my love.

Josephine and I made a cake for you. Today you would have turned 28 years old.

Colonel Phillips visited me today. It was brief, really. He played with Josephine and wished us well.

As I write this ridiculous entry, the wedding rings on my finger feel so heavy, unlike ever before. My heart constantly aches for you, but I will wait. I will wait until it is my time, and I hope you'll be waiting for me at the gates of heaven.

Your ever most loving wife,

Y/N.

Dear Steve,

It's been one year since you've been gone.

I miss you, more than anything in the world.

I'll see you soon, but not too soon.

Dear Steve,

Josephine turned 1 today.

Howard and Peggy threw a party, and you know how Howard's parties are. This one was child friendly, though. He brought a circus and entertained Josephine and all of her little friends from daycare.

Daddy dropped by. He loves Josephine, and he spent most of the day telling her all about you.

She said her first word today. Guess what it was!

Dada. She said your name, Steve. And she'll never forget it.

Wait for me,

Y/N.

Steve only brushed his tears away, flipping through every entry over the next few years.

Dear Steve,

Jo turned 16 today.

It's so odd to think that just 16 years ago I was only 20, trying my best to bring her into the world. We made such a beautiful young woman, Steve, and she's exactly like you. She has a hard shell but she's a big softie on the inside.

I've never been so grateful for a human being. She takes care of me, always telling me the best things to use and the best things to buy instead of it being the other way around. She's my protector, my guardian angel. In that way, she took your place.

Peggy helped me throw a big birthday party for her, she deserves it. She's worked so hard in and out of school. All of her friends came, they danced and ate. We got a massive cake to go with it.

Everyday she hugs your picture and thanks you, and today was no different.

I hope you're looking down on us with a smile, sweetheart.

Y/N.

Dear Steve,

Jo turned 18 a few days ago. I couldn't write because I took her to Paris for her birthday.

I'd been planning the trip for a long time, saving up as much as I could. She loved it! She also told me she got into Juilliard, which is a performing arts school in New York. It's far, farther away than she's ever been from me, but it's only an hour drive. She promises to come home every weekend.

I don't have to worry about paying for it anymore after Howard, Phillips, Peggy and I founded SHIELD. It's protection for the world, saving lives, just like you did.

I have to go, Jo's asking me to help her pack.

I love you,

Y/N.

He read through the brief entries of Y/N's time at SHIELD, before stopping at a picture. Juilliard, class of 1969.

She was right. Jo had inherited all of Steve's looks, from the blonde hair and blue eyes to the kind smile she graced the camera with.

Steve finally got to the end of the journal. Recovering after reading through her daughter's longtime boyfriend turned husband, the births of their grandchildren, the death of Howard Stark and more.

Dear Steve,

I like to think I lived a good 76 years of life. I lived to see the year 2001.

I got an education, got myself a job despite spending my father's money because I was young and stupid. I met you, the skinny boy who told me to follow my dreams of being a scientist. I fell in love with you, and the new you that emerged after the serum.

My love for you is eternal, which has been proven in the 55 years I've spent without you.

I lived to see my only child succeed, I lived to walk her down the aisle. I lived to see my beautiful grandchildren.

I've lived more than enough, and I think it's finally time to come home to you, honey.

I'll see you soon.

Y/N.

Steve brought his left hand to his lips, pressing a small kiss to the wedding band that rested on his finger.

-

"Don't do anything stupid until I get back." Steve smirked, carrying the briefcase containing the six infinity stones.

Bucky gave him a sad smile. "How can I? You're taking all the stupid with you." They shared a hug. "I'm gonna miss you, buddy. Tell her I said hi."

"Yeah, Buck. It's gonna be alright."

"How long is this going to take?" Sam questioned as the super soldier stepped onto the heavy machinery.

"For him, as long is he needs. For us, 5 seconds. Ready Cap?"

"I'll be back."

Y/N paced around, lip caught between her teeth. "What's wrong, sweetheart?" She stopped abruptly, turning to face the new voice.

Sighing a breath of relief, she leaped into his arms. "Steve! You're back."

"Yeah, honey. I'm back."

[fallasleepscenarios]

𝓬𝓱𝓮𝓻𝓻𝔂 𝓫𝓵𝓸𝓼𝓼𝓸𝓶 𝓼𝓽𝓻𝓮𝓮𝓽 [bakugo x reader]

type: one shot, angst, fluff pairing: bakugo katsuki x reader (gender not specified) summary: (Y/N) and Bakugo have not established their relationship, leaving (Y/N) to question their whole "friends with benefits" thing. And it all goes down to what happens when they attend Kirishima's party. rating: R for implication of sexual act word count: 2.4k disclaimer: I do not own any of the mha characters and all of them are written as if they are of age also posted on my wattpad one shots book

꒱࿐♡ ˚.*ೃ

"You're so silly. Get your butt here."

Bakugo shrugs and pouts angrily but eventually lets his body fall on me and weighing me down on the couch as I try to lift him off me. I laugh at his silliness, knowing that this is the best way someone like him can show affection. He lets his guard down so rarely after all, doesn't even want to show softness, ever. Only with me he does. He can be mellow, can't express it in words easily though.

"Tsk, I don't want to go to the stupid party with all the stupid bastards", he growls while finally making himself comfortable without hurting me.

"You promised! Besides, everyone's waiting for you", I run my fingers through his hair, "You know how much Kirishima has been waiting to see you!" I could tell by his look at this was somehow enough for him to accept attending the party with me. All his UA classmates would be there.

"Whatever! I have to train." In a swift move he gets up and leaves the room, like he always does.

"Bakugo--! Wait!" he stops without turning to look at me. "D-Do you wanna spend the night?" I gulped.

"I have to train", he says and leaves.

And at times like these, I ask myself, what the hell am I really doing. Having a crush on Bakugo Katsuki? That's far enough. Establishing a relationship with him? That's so far beyond the line of sanity. More times than not, I question myself for any signs of emotional masochism, because this really doesn't feel like a mutual feeling. Yes, he can be soft and sweet, would never admit it, though. Yes, somehow, he does like me in a sexual way, at least, or maybe considers me as a way to relieve stress? The past three months and a half have been so exciting, and I've been.. happy. But..

This really isn't enough for me. If only I could do anything to make him say what's in his mind, 'cause his actions really really don't match with his words. And then again, well, whatever, never mind, it could all be way worse for me..

꒱࿐♡ ˚.*ೃ

On the day of the party, Bakugo was supposed to pick me up at 8 and head over to Kirishima's together, since I've never been to his place before. I put extra effort on picking an outfit I like and felt pretty cute and confident in it. At 7:45 I was already by the door, tying my shoes and receiving a text message by Uraraka-chan.

[19:45] From: Uraraka-chan<3 I can't wait for tonight! Deku-kun will also be there, haven't seen him in two weeks! Don't be late Y/N :D

I smiled at myself and happiness overflew in me. Don't want to jinx it but tonight sounds ideal; Bakugo agreed to come, I'm going to see everyone, even Midoriya found time off his strict training schedule, and Uraraka-chan is very happy, as well, I am glad.

But as I waited for Bakugo, the clock turned 8. And then 5 minutes after 8. And then a quarter past 8.

Normally, that's acceptable, since when one is late, they probably have informed you beforehand. Or at least, an apology is waiting for you at their arrival. Oh, but when Bakugo arrived..

"What took you so long?!!" My mood, the outfit I wore that I liked, the excitement, all had disappeared.

"SO WHAT, I had training to do! Deku has been training all week!", he snapped back at me and frowned. "Let's go damn it!"

"You're unbelievable-! That's how you treat me?!" This time, I was not going to take it.

"Tsk, you don't understand"

"At least you could have told me you were at practice..! Not arrive, what, a quarter to 9 and not even apologizing for keeping me waiting?!"

"YOU attacked me right when I arrived, when I would I apologize?!"

I refrained from saying anything else. I didn't want to completely ruin my mood for the party.

"Okay, stop." I let out a sigh. "Let's go. I really want to enjoy the party. I even wore that outfit that it took me so long to come up with, I really wanna enjoy it.." I closed and locked the door behind us and Bakugo just stared at me.

The road to Kirishima's was quiet. I caught a few glimpses of Bakugo walking by me and leading the way. Surprisingly, he didn't say anything at all. We passed by the river, it was beautiful and I so wanted to comment on the cherry blossoms showing as the path alongside it.

I tried not to overthink about this but it was bothering me, that Bakugo didn't even consider my feelings. He stood me up. This definitely isn't what you expect of your partner to do. Details like this, how he never calls me just to talk to me, he never texts me "good morning" or "good night" like my friends' significant others do, how we've never really agreed to have a proper date but always meet up at home, eat inside and are secretive, I don't like that. I think I am the only one in this relationship.

Heck, there is no real relationship. Friends with benefits, after all.

"(Y/N)! Bakugo-kun! You've arrived at last!" Uraraka-chan was the first one to greet us by the door.

"I'm sorry we're late, I asked Bakugo to pick me up since he lives so close-by, but he was training and couldn't leave early", I felt my cheeks flush up. Everyone's attention was on us and I didn't like it. "Besides, Kirishima-kun! Thanks for having us!"

Thankfully, I quickly felt comfortable and no one talked about how they've been waiting for us. We had a fun time, joking around, eating cakes that Sato baked and listening to what everyone's been up to on their vacation. I was able to forget about Bakugo's attitude, but every time I looked at him, it all came back to me, so I tried to avoid him as much. But still, I was able to catch glimpses of him, noticing that he never looked at me too. I am better than this.

I got up to pout myself some water and when I came back I noticed that Deku had joined Uraraka and they were cheerfully engaging in conversation by themselves, so I decided I wouldn't go back to Uraraka and third wheel them. Instead I decided to get some fresh air and went outside. The cold wind felt so nice on my face but I could tell I'd soon be cold enough to return inside.

"Y/N!", I didn't even hear Kirishima opening the balcony's door.

"Kirishima-kun, are you having fun?"

"For sure! I'm glad you could bring Bakugo with you. Wasn't really sure he'd come, since he's been eager to train as much as he can during the vacation time, but maybe having to accompany you made him responsible to come" Kirishima smiled and he'd never looked so innocent to me before.

"Ah, I just guess he came for you Kirishima-kun. You're his best friend after all."

We laughed and I suddenly felt really soft and comfortable talking about Bakugo with him.

"Kirishima-kun, you're great.. I wish I had a relationship with someone like you!"

And then I realized what I just said. Kirishima turned red and I no longer felt cold outside.

"Y/N, I-I don't think I like you like t-that.."

"Ah! No, it's okay, I don't think I do either.."

What am I saying, I know I like Bakugo.

I know he said he didn't like me but the vibe sure felt weird and tense and somehow comfortable. I could so simply say things like these with Kirishima and it did feel awkward but it was okay, we could sit in silence. And it was easier to stay outside now.

But then he called out my name, and I couldn't read his face. He surely thought that I might like him now. I noticed Bakugo was arguing with Iida-kun by the door, when Kirishima raised his hand to cup my cheek and-

"Can I kiss you?" he whispered.

Why am I not pulling back? Maybe he wants to find out if he'd feel something.. maybe I do as well. Bakugo wouldn't even care anyways. He wouldn't be the least jealous if he saw us.

"Yes", I whispered back and closed my eyes only to feel his soft lips on mine.

It lasted a few seconds but I knew for sure that this wasn't what I felt when I kissed Bakugo. Kirishima was now smiling softly as me and I knew we were on the same page. And this will be between us and nothing will be affected. Except that something caught his attention and he gasped ; I turned to see who else other than Bakugo staring at us.

He looked mad, but doesn't he almost always?

Suddenly I felt overwhelmed with regret towards him.

He wasn't supposed to get jealous, he has no right to!

"Ah, Bakugo saw us maybe", Kirishima shrugged, "He probably thinks we're stupid hahah"

I chuckled, not to make my uncomfortableness look so obvious and we headed back inside, since Bakugo had also disappeared from the entrance.

The rest of the night I felt so out of place and it was hard not to show, but I had to. Spent it mostly chatting with the girls and playing cards and board games.

But soon enough, it was time to go.

Midoriya had already left and so had some of the others that aren't late nighters, and I felt tired from all the tension of the day. I was glad that I had some fun though.

"I'm off, everyone!" I greeted them and put on my shoes and coat.

"I'm going to. Have to train early tomorrow"

I froze. Bakugo was also leaving and this could only mean he wanted to confront me.

I waited for him to be greeted by everyone as well. It was inevitable, we'd go the same way anyways.

But Bakugo didn't say anything. He started pacing fast and it was kind of hard to keep up.

When we reached the cherry blossoms, Bakugo stopped.

"Are you stupid? Why did you do that?!"

He was indeed jealous!

"What does it matter to you even!". Tears were forming in my eyes, I felt so guilty! But it wasn't entirely my fault!

"TO ME? That you're stupid?"

"What does it matter to you??! It didn't even matter to me!"

"Then WHY DID YOU DO THAT"

Bakugo turned around but he wasn't looking at me.

"..I.. don't know... I was curious.. "

"Tsk, 'curious', what even..!"

"I was, okay?! Kirishima was being so nice to me..."

"And you had to be stupid?!"

"STOP it! Okay? This, this is why I did that. Because I can no longer pretend that you care about me! You made that clear today!"

"I don't go around doing things a scumbag would do!"

Bakugo was starting to redden up, he had become really angry..

"BUT YOU DO!" I shouted, glad that we were the only ones on the street. "You do, when you're late and don't inform me, you do when you're embarrassed and secretive of me, you do when you never really tell me what's on your mind"

"You.." he frowned. "And YOU GO AND DO THAT"

"YES because MAYBE, MAYBE HE would actually LIKE me!"

He seemed to be taken aback. And I was properly crying. And I felt the cold wind against my face and hands. It was too bad we're ruining the effect of the beautiful cherry blossoms.

"Stupid.. STUPID STUPID STUPID", he was now pulling his hair in anger.

"Bakugo, stop! What are you doing!" I rushed out and grabbed him by his shoulders forcing him to look at me. And I felt guilty and sad to see him this angry but this had to mean something.

He looked away, avoiding my gaze at all costs.

"I should be asking you why are you being like this now..", I said softly. "It.. hurts to think about this, but did it feel like you were losing towards Kirishima?"

No answer.

"I'm sorry anyways, I am too tired to argue anymore and I'm sorry I kissed him. I.. didn't think it'd make you angry"

"Tsk, what are you apologizing for, loser.."

Bakugo's voice was soft and quiet..!

"I should be the one saying sorry. I FAILED don't you understand? I didn't make my feelings clear to you"

What?

"All this time, I've been failing to this, I don't no a thing about romance"

What?

"And you never even said anything, either! You just went along when I first kissed you!"

I had nothing to say. Suddenly, everything seemed so meaningless, because he was opening up to me.

"Bakugo.."

"No, shut up, you listen to me now. It drives me crazy cause I can't concentrate and think about you all the time! I LIKE YOUR STUPID ASS"

This can't be for real. I've always wanted him to open up but I never..

"SAY SOMETHING"

"Can you.. say that again?", I was too startled.

"Weren't you listening?!"

"No, I was, it's just that I liked hearing you say that.."

I'd forgotten I'd been holding him weirdly and suddenly felt conscious about being so close to him, when I've been closer to him so many times before, but not like this.

"Tsk, I like you stupid ass, stupid", he frowned jokingly and it was his turn to wrap his arms around me. "I like your stupid stupid ass."

My cheeks have probably never flushed as this much before.

"I like you"

He kept repeating and I felt like I could faint.

"And I promise, I won't ignore my feelings anymore and I won't be USELESS!"

I backed away to look at him.

"Bakugo,.. does this mean, we're really together?"

And Bakugo blushed!

"Yeh" he simply said.

I couldn't help but smile and the cherry blossoms were beautiful around us.

Then, Bakugo tightened his grip on my waist and brought me closer. He kissed my cheek and looked at me again. And I couldn't decide over staring at his eyes or kissing him that moment.

But I couldn't bring myself to stop, I leaned forwards and felt his soft pouty lips against mine, his warmth transmitting to my skin. And we didn't pull back for a few moments.

"Do you want to stay over, Bakugo?"

And he nodded excitedly as we walked home together.

꒱࿐♡ ˚.*ೃ

[kojinnie]

In the fifteen days of your absence

Pairing: Reader x Reiner Braun

Tags/Warning: deep angst in the end

Summary: Reiner wanted to leave you, but you chose to leave him first.

Word Count: 1.5K

A/N: Written half-drunk at 4 AM. Very unstructured piece that I wrote in a whim. Just me being overwhelmed with emotion. So please, bare with me.

There is a prolonged misery in the way Reiner Braun saw the world, in a rather apocalyptic outlook which made wariness became a permanent figure throughout the course of his life, he couldn't help but to incessantly ponder on his role in the world. Every day, every waking moment in his short, miserable life. Like it was an urgency that he had to find answer to immediately. 

"What was I destined to be?" was the question he pondered every morning. He had grown to believe that everyone was made for single, destined role and he was on an never-ending quest to find his. You often thought, what was it that drove the man into the verge of such desperation to find an answer? "Doesn't that depend on what you choose to do every day?" you once asked, as the two of you laid naked on your bed. He didn't utter a word afterward, but he knew your answer-slash-question wasn’t up to his appetite for philosophical discourse. He just rolled over away from you and succumbed into silence until the next morning when he left your apartment without saying goodbye. Even in the path where he left, you could sense he left with utter disappointment towards you.

He didn't reach out to you after his shift. Nor did he send the customary good morning text that had grown to be habitual rather than a display of affection over the past three years you had been with him. You waited patiently until the night came, yet still there was no sign of him. That night, you slept anxiously, jolting out of drowsiness each time your phone buzzed, only to find that it was just a typhoon warning. You didn’t care, all you wanted to know was how Reiner was.

The next morning, out of fright of somewhat the expected disappointment, the first thing you did in the morning was shoving your phone underneath your pillow, as you got ready for work. You didn’t want to have your heart shattered by the non-existing message or missed calls from Reiner. That was the least you could do to refrain having an anxiety attack an hour away before your shift started.

At lunch, your Japanese bento tasted bland. And the words of your manager rung into your eardrums like a mere inconvenience. You had grown antsy by that point, and you had not checked your phone since the morning. You continued to torture yourself by putting your phone on Airplane Mode. You couldn’t bear having each minute neurotically checking your phone to see whether Reiner had texted your or not.

By the third day, you caved in. You finally operated your phone because you had to call your grocer for a weekly delivery. When things were okay, Reiner would come by and walk with you to the nearby deli. He would buy three bottles of his favorite ranch, one that he would store at your house, one at his mum’s, and one for his own storage at home. But now that he was off the grid, you didn’t feel like leaving your apartment and opted for a delivery instead. The courier was grim, didn’t say thank you even after a rather generous tip. He was listening to Happy Days Are Here Again, the melodious tunes seeped through his headphone. What an odd irony, you thought to yourself as you closed the door on him.

There was a sickening anticipation as you waited for your phone to load, and when the homepage popped open you felt nausea looming as you found no sign of Reiner neither in your inbox nor your call log.

You had grown accustomed to the anxiety of being with Reiner. As if being nauseous, with your heart thumping all night, wondering his whereabout, is the default state that came with dating the man with those sorrowful eyes. 

Reiner Braun. That man. 

He had affinity for leaving in the quietest fashion, putting you in the dark over what went wrong. Beating yourself up for his departure. Sometimes it would be because of the little thing you said mindlessly, or the way Reiner felt like he had been treated by you in a way that he regarded as distasteful. But he never told you about it, he would just disappear into the thin air and let you succumbed into your own misery in the complete absence of him, until you came to your sense into what wrongdoing you might have committed.

Yet, despite knowing his playbook already, still you were the willing victim, “Reiner, I’m sorry. Please, forgive me.” Were the words he would be waiting from you.

“Do you love me still?” once Reiner asked, when the two of you were soaked underneath the summer rain because Reiner forgot to bring the umbrella although you had reminded him numerous times before stepping out of the apartment. You thought the question was a misfit given the circumstances, but he looked dead serious as he wiped his eyes from drips of the water that drenched the two of you.

“Yes. I do.” You said, to which he nodded with no smile.

For the longest time you wondered what did he mean by that? Until you realized too late, that he was so scared of being left, that his question was his desperate way to commit you into forgiving him after a small mistake he had done. Later, you were bed-ridden from the cold you got after being drenched for hours, and he asked you again, “Do you love me?” You had no other choice but to plant a deep kiss on his soft, thin lips as an answer. A display of forgiveness he was yearning for.

Reiner’s absence persisted like the growing pain he caused within you that was only becoming more gaping as days go by. When fifteen days had passed, your friends started to chirp, ‘Why don’t you just come to his house?’; ‘But you have tried calling him right?’. You couldn’t quite explain the strange way you understood Reiner, in silence, in certain distance, in mutual recognition of each other’s disdain. 

You knew he had blocked your caller ID, and how should you tell your friends that you never went to his home more than once before? Because you could feel the palpable reluctance in him as once, years ago, you insisted to drive him home. “In certain distance, did our love find no resistance,” he once declared.

In resistance did our hearts bound with happenstance,

and in happenstance did we end in desistance.

Reiner. Reiner. Reiner. You thought of him relentlessly. Was it only a happenstance that you uttered the wrong choice of words as he asked for validation of his role in life? What was it that he wanted to hear from you anyway? Maybe: ‘You are destined for something big, Reiner.’ Did the happenstance finally led him to desist from further effort in loving you? 

The thought persisted when you walked down the street that night, out for a beer on your own. As you passed through the lonely buildings of your neighborhood, the reminiscing of his form made your thoughts murky, as you crossed the avenue in scurry, with your gaze that had gone blurry.

You couldn’t make out of it, but a very loud noise suddenly deafened your ear and you could feel your body tossed into the air and fell into a hard surface. You could feel nothing as you slipped into the abyss of nothingness. Was it the sound of Reiner calling for you finally?

“Do you love me?” you heard a voice. A deep, sad voice coming from a mouth of a man with sorrowful eyes.

“Yes, I do.” you answered. But still he asked, “Do you love me?”

And he asked again, “Do you love me?” and again, and again, no matter how much you have answered, “Yes, I do, Reiner. Yes, I do.” still he asked the same thing, “Do you love me?”

You didn’t know where you were, you could hardly see the man that you had loved with your demure heart, despite the desolation of his heart. You could only hear his voice, calling out for you like you wished he had been in those fifteen days of his absence.

“Reiner,” someone said, a kindly voice of mature wisdom. She sounded a lot like your mum, “let her go.”

“I can’t,” he refused, his voice broke in despair, “not until she answers me.” 

“Baby, do you love me? Do you love me?”

You shouted with all your might, “I do, Reiner! I do!”

Yet he heard no words. He held you close in his cradle, yet still he knew you were slipping away. Underneath the bright lights of an ER did your body lay cold. Reiner had came late after he was told, “She got hit by an eight-wheeler,” a colleague told him over the phone. Even then, Reiner knew he had lost you, but still he wished for the last chance to make amend. It was true he contemplated to leave you, but never did he expect he’d be given no second chance to atone.

In his cradle, you finally went away. Underneath his tears, your face drenched once again. In the agonizing realization did Reiner find himself, drowned in his regret on how he had chosen to spend the last fifteen days he would ever have with you.