#so the only one who knows how embarrassing that whole moment is myself. lol.

[penultimate-step]

hours earlier I reblogged that post about character projecting back onto my dash to remind myself of it, always a good post to have. I thought I had internalized that mindset years ago and was too understanding to be emotionally affected by opinions about relatable characters. but certain discord conversations were reminding me there are things I still need to work on.

See, when I hear people talk about how much they hate the character or want to torture them I'm like, rock on, great opinion. So I thought I had graduated away from reacting to perceived slights against character. but then today I saw people say the character would be bigoted in a certain way and my immediate reaction was to think something like. Wait, fuck, have I done something bigoted on accident, what was it, I need to know so I can apologize and never do it again. And then, I was able to get my head on straight and remember, wait, no, I didn't do anything, they aren't talking about me, they just have a different interpretation of a fictional character than me, which is completely fine.

at which point I stepped out for a bit because can you imagine if I had been dumb enough to make a scene in order to defend the honor of a character I projected onto when I was 15? that would be beyond laughable. but luckily. i remembered the post. and busied myself with going to find it to reblog it instead.

[octoberautumnbox]

Yuri is lucky that she could go to Hyewon's place whenever she needs to washup lol. Can't imagine Yuri's face when she discovered the roach in her bathroom 🤣🙈

What if Yuri goes over to Hyewon's place...

And Hyewon still insists on giving you head when Yuri is only a short distance away in the shower 😳

"Hyewon... Ah...Now's not the best time, Yuri will hear us! She could be coming out anytime soon!"

"So what? Who said the bathroom is the only thing I'm sharing with Yuri today 😉"

Yuri's look of hunger when she sees the moment you're cumming uncontrollably inside Hyewon's throat. Your eyes watery and Hyewon has her whole face pressed against your crotch while your body spasms from the stimulation 🙊

Even though I'm gonna embarrass myself horribly, I don't think I could turn down Hyewon's offer 🤤

a/n: thanks for the ask frisky! to this day it's still wild to me how they did a post-bath/shower scene in Yuri's photobook but im literally the last one on this planet to complain 😋

~~~

"Aish, you two," Yuri says while running her fingers through her hair. "You couldn't wait for me?" She takes a seat next to you and leans her head on your shoulder, staring lazily at your cock.

"You were taking forever. He was getting bored." Hyewon licks her lips as she says it, savoring the taste of your cum. She makes a show of it by dragging her tongue all along her plump lips, and the blatant attempt to try and get you hard again is regrettably working.

Your reply comes in the midst of ragged breaths: "Don't... pin this all on me. I wanted to... wait for everyone to... be ready."

The older girl takes your hand and starts sucking your index finger, giving it the same love she gave your cock just moments ago. The younger, on the other hand, giggles at her valiant efforts to get you going again and decides to help her out.

Yuri takes your other hand and places it over her breasts, only a thin fabric in between her chest and your fingertips. Even then, you can feel her soft and perky tits through her top, and the playful pinches you deliver on her nipples cause them to stiffen in pleasure. You watch as they start to poke against the fabric, and she catches you ogling her. With a smirk, she let's out a cute moan to signal her pleasure.

Hyewon, not wanting to be one-upped, takes her place on your other side. She pulls her top off, revealing in tantalizing slowness of the skin of her tummy and chest. Once it's all off, she takes the same position as Yuri and makes you cup her boobs too. Her nipples stiffen in the same way, and her moans at how you play with her body spur all three of you on.

With a knowing look shot at each other, the girls decide wordlessly on a two-pronged attack. Hyewon's delicate fingers wrap around your cock and give long, slow strokes, while she goes in and takes your lips with hers. At the same time, Yuri leans down and starts licking and kissing the tip of your dick, making sure to leave her spit and help her unnie out.

Your tongue and Hyewon's swirl around each other, forcing more moans out of her, while Yuri's soft lips place kisses on your head and shaft wherever she can reach. She takes your cock in her mouth as best she can, trying her hardest to share with her unnie's hand instead of taking you all the way to the back of her throat for herself.

You wonder for a moment how you got two of the most beautiful idols on the planet this needy for you. How on earth did you get to the point where they're so willing to share you between themselves, allowing you to grope their bodies and suck your cock as if they were your own property to do what you please with?

But that doesn't matter now. You find both Hyewon and Yuri with two of their own fingers inside their cunts, rubbing their walls at the pace you set as you play with their boobs. Hyewon grows careless with her kiss, growing sloppier by the minute, not caring how much of your shared saliva falls out of your mouths. Yuri's moans deliver just the right vibrations to your cock growing needier with each lick of your slit. She frantically tries even harder to take more of you into her mouth, her common sense slipping away from her.

You try to warn Yuri that you're close, but Hyewon never lets up. Each time you try and pull away, all she does is pull you back and make you squeeze her soft tits harder. You do the same with Yuri, pinching her nipples harder and groping her more roughly, and it drives her wild. You're not sure if it delivers the message you wanted it to, but you slowly forget as your orgasm arrives.

Hyewon feels the way your cock throbs and immediately lets go, only to force Yuri down onto your crotch. Yuri welcomes it and takes you all the way, licking your shaft as much as she can, savoring your taste and the hard work she put into this load she's about to take. You don't disappoint, and suddenly her mouth is flooded with your thick and warm cum. She tries taking all of it in, but inevitably she lets a few drops fall out with the sheer amount of it. Still, her tongue works overtime to extract every single drop you can give her, and each thrust into her mouth-pussy sends away another thought in her head to be replaced her desire for you and you alone.

Two orgasms so far into the night, and they haven't even started getting serious. You start to get nervous, but they reassure you that everything from here on out is all just mindless fun.

"Don't worry, oppa," Yuri sighs dreamily, obviously still in the ecstasy of getting her face fucked, "we're gonna have so much fun."

"Yeah, just relax and fuck us like you always wanted to." Hyewon punctuates each word with a kiss on your neck. "I promise we'll play nice, unless you want us not to."

~~~

a/n: holy shit wait a minute is this my first threesome fic??

[mysteria157]

Moment One: An Old Flame

Rating: Explicit 

Pairing: Nanami Kento x Black Fem Reader

CW: fluff, profanity, explicit sexual content (whole lotta smut, I’m talking: vaginal sex, vaginal fingering, oral sex, creampie…lol you get it).

Word Count: ~6k

Summary: When Nanami has no choice but to work overtime, you bring him dinner as a surprise. But you unexpectedly find his ex-girlfriend already keeping him company. 

Takes place a few weeks after Chapter 15 of It Had To Be You!

Notes:��I had this idea way back when I wrote chapter 15 weeks ago and I finally made it a reality last night LOL. I don’t have a beta reader, so sometimes there may be a mistake or two. I have a habit of being way too detailed when I write, and that includes smut. So hopefully you enjoy it! 

Likes, reblogs, and comments are always welcome! Happy reading!

Divider: @saradika | Header: myself

Those Moments In Between Masterlist | Moment Two

©mysteria157, all rights reserved. DO NOT copy, plagiarize, reupload, modify, or translate (without permission) my work to other accounts and platforms.

MINORS DNI

Nanami knows better.

He knows that his ex-girlfriend, Pia, is just as devious as she was when they were in undergrad. 

When they were younger and together, she gave sweetness and tender love that made Nanami stick around a bit longer than he should have. Though they had nothing in common and she was far too outgoing, she helped him embrace many different things that were normally out of his comfort zone.

She taught him how to express public displays of affection in his own way. She taught him how to express what he felt when it came to romantic love. 

He was grateful for it. Truly.

Indirectly, her personality only made him realize just how ill-suited they were for one another despite her good intentions.

Pia was spiteful to those who disagreed with her, disrespectful to those who did not have the same values as her, and outlandishly rude to those who came on to Nanami. She covered it all up with smiles, jokes as a means of apology, and an innocent glint in her eyes that Nanami at the time, didn't have the experience to see through.

Gojo had tried to warn him, year after year.

But he was young--his disdain for Gojo was five thousand times more intense than it is now--so Nanami treated everything that fell from Gojo's lips as a ploy to annoy anyway. 

Nanami remained oblivious to her behavior, caught in the haze of young love, until their final year of college.

That haze had gradually become easier to sift through. The complaints from his friends finally began to register in his mind. Then, one day between classes, a significant moment allowed him to finally blink away the fog.

Every action that he had once dismissed, enticed by the flutter of her lashes and the touch of her lips, rose to the surface from an ocean of naivety--loud and unfiltered.

He despised himself for having to come to the painful realization that Gojo had been right all along. 

Nanami allowed Gojo to mock him for a week before reverting to his habit of telling him to shut up unless he had something meaningful to contribute to their conversations. 

Despite feeling embarrassed and heartbroken, he cut ties--clean and simple--moved on with his life, and never heard from her again.

Until now, that is, as she is currently in Nakameguro for a project to market her wine enterprise. She specifically chose his company to assist in expanding her business in the Japanese market, and he despises every minute of it. 

Pia clearly wants to make up for lost time because she goes to great lengths to be close to him. 

She has a habit of discreetly slipping into the elevator just before it closes, coincidentally finding herself alone with Nanami every time. With a simple smile and a polite greeting, she faces the front and they ride in silence, but with every encounter, she subtly edges closer and closer to him. 

Like clockwork, without fail, she makes a point to peek into his office every morning, disregarding his attempt to keep the door closed. She greets him, extends an invitation to lunch—an invitation he consistently declines—and continues with her day. 

Being a recluse by nature, he rarely leaves his office except for coffee runs to the breakroom or when Yuji relentlessly calls for his presence. But with Pia’s presence, he can hardly focus when she’s around. He refuses to engage in conversation or give her an opening to pursue him romantically. Because he knows she will. So now he makes Yuji come to him and will bring his own coffee from home. 

He chooses not to confide in you about his struggles.

You had only met her once, but it was more than enough. Because to you, Pia is overwhelmingly beautiful, with a well-traveled life and wealth. You are an amateur ceramic artist with modest savings, a mother that you can’t stand, and a body that had recently been stretched and marked by childbirth.

You thought Kento deserved better—deserved someone like Pia. 

You were grappling with the overwhelming responsibilities of taking care of Ulani, trying your best to navigate through postpartum depression in a healthy way, and coming to terms with a body that seemed alien to you.

So the sight of Pia for the first time, radiant and flaunting a badge of honor for dating Nanami, did nothing but throw you into a deep pit of insecurity.

Kento lifted you out of that dark place, demonstrated to you again—without fail—how devoted he was to you then and always.

He made it abundantly clear that he was yours. 

He’s determined to never make you feel unsure of yourself again. 

So it's not a big deal. She’s just a nuisance that he has to dodge for the next week. 

Just another week until she goes back to Italy where she—hopefully—will never return.

What’s the worst that can happen?

It turns out, a lot.

He tries to stay one step ahead, deliberately exchanging a brief greeting with her in the lobby to prevent her from slithering into his office. He even waits until the office is deserted, and the day is nearly over before stepping into the elevator. 

He doesn’t know how he got out scot-free, but Friday rolls around and he thinks that he just might pull this off.

But Yaga chooses today of all days to ask Nanami to stay behind to consolidate a few contracts that only Nanami—unfortunately—has access to. In normal circumstances, Nanami would decline and suggest pushing it off until Monday.

It’s even more unfortunate because he has plans tonight. He wants to help you make dinner and spend time with his daughter and he shouldn’t even have to think about excuses because he hates overtime. But, the consolidation is due Monday, and he wants to get it done now so that he can avoid the hassle later on.

You don’t sound upset when he calls you to break the news. Your usually calm voice is slightly downcast with a gentle sigh that you think he can’t hear.

“I guess it’s rare so I shouldn’t be mad but,” you complain weakly, your words tinged with a slight whine that makes Nanami smirk to himself. “I made Katsudon.” 

He groans, mouth instantly watering at the mere thought. 

“I’ll be home as soon as I can, my love. I promise.” 

You grumble a reply that makes him chuckle, a tender sound resonating deep in his chest as he listens to you tell him that you love him before hanging up the phone.

***

It’s seven o’clock and he’s fighting a migraine. But he’s almost done, and he’s determined to finish the last stack of contracts that require organizing before he can make his way home to you and Ulani.

As he pens his signature on the bottom of one contract, there’s a knock on his office door, prompting him to invite them in—assuming it’s merely the janitor since everyone else on the floor left hours ago. 

That’s all he thinks to himself; he focuses his attention on yet another clause, preparing to initial his name on the side when everything comes to a screeching halt. 

Because standing before him isn’t the janitor—it’s Pia.

Pia, clad in a tight black dress that not only defies workplace etiquette but also starkly contrasts the one she wore earlier in the day.  

Earlier that day, he followed her every movement as she got into her car and drove away, silently relieved that he could finally relax. Yet, here she is; her dark brown wavy hair hanging over her shoulder in a manner far too seductive for his comfort, and black heels clutched in her hands instead of adorning her feet.

It takes him only a second to assess how quickly he can maneuver past her without a word. He will take the steps if he has to, or maybe he can grab the remaining contracts and finish the rest at home and—

“Gojo always mentions how you never stay late anymore, so I’m surprised to see you here,” she purrs, her Italian accent grating against his ears, exacerbating his throbbing migraine behind his eyes. Her lust-filled, indecent intentions taint her dark brown eyes, reinforcing the strong urge within him to leave, quickly. 

He’s not the type of man to belittle a woman’s appearance because they all possess their own beauty. His mother hammered that among other things about the respect of women deep into his skull before he hit puberty. But he’s well-mannered enough to acknowledge beauty and let the line be drawn there—because other women aren’t you, and he doesn’t have a wandering eye. 

He never has and he never will.

“Is there a reason why you are here, Pia?” he questions, discreetly binding the stack of contracts together so he can swiftly grab them along with his blazer and push her out of the way if he has to. “Your project finished at the end of the business day, so I assumed you would be on your way back to Italy.”

She scoffs a deep and guttural noise that makes Nanami’s stomach twirl in distaste and intensifies the pounding behind his eyes. “You know exactly why I’m here, Kento. Don’t be dull. You never were back then, and you aren’t now.”

His stomach churns, the knots tightening with each passing moment between them. The tension becomes unbearable, culminating in a swift rise from his seat as he retrieves his blazer behind his large, deep red chair.

“You need to leave,” he demands, his voice devoid of the polite courtesy he had extended to her during her visit. He tucks the contracts beneath an arm, grabs his car keys, and makes for the door—but she’s quick to sidestep so her frame blocks his path. 

Irritation surges within him, an emotion that others—excluding you—are keen to elicit when they begin to waste his time. 

“Pia, please move out of the way so that I can go home.”

She arches a perfectly groomed eyebrow, adding to the torment coursing through his stomach. “So you’re saying you don’t even want to talk? It’s been years since we’ve seen each other, and you’ve done nothing but avoid me during my entire stay.” Her whiny, petulant tone and childlike frown only serve to trigger flashbacks to times when she didn’t get her way, intensifying the deep divide that caused their separation.

“And you don’t understand the reason why?” he retorts, irritation heavier and thick in his mouth. A frown etches itself onto his lips, and his patience dissipates in the tense air encircling them. 

A noise in the lobby—a noise that implies someone can be listening—makes his heart stammer in his chest and the hairs on the back of his neck rise. 

While she has an agenda, he does not. He refuses to allow others to lose respect for him in this office, thinking he indulges in infidelity during his free time when that couldn’t be further from the truth. He couldn’t care less about others’ opinions, except when it involves you and your relationship—that’s where he draws the line. 

Unaffected by his sarcastic remark, she delicately places a perfectly manicured hand on his chest. He’s quick to react, catching her wrist in a way that makes his blazer fall to the floor, pulling her hand away from him as his body begins to shake in frustration.

 “I don’t know where you’ve gotten the impression that I want anything with you, but I won’t be entertaining it. What we had was a long time ago and it won’t ever be reignited again. Try your best to understand that,” he states firmly.

“But—” she begins to protest.

“Enough, Pia. Leave. Now.” 

He isn’t asking nicely anymore, his head pounding, and the decision to simply push her out of the way is made. Just as he prepares to do so, the door swings open, and the person he longs to see the most but also wishes wasn’t here right now, rushes in.

“Ken, I thought I could bring you dinner and—” you stop mid-sentence, words wedged in your throat as you take in the scene in front of you. You’re holding a Tupperware container, the steam inside condensing along the edges.

Nanami with papers under one arm and the other dropping from a delicate wrist to flop down at his side, his hair disheveled from hours of musing, his face clearly disturbed. And Pia, beautiful and ethereal as usual as she whips around to look at you. 

Since that first day you met her, you haven’t encountered Pia again. And Kento’s unwavering loyalty and trust have provided no reason to entertain the thought of her. 

However, Nanami’s stiff stature, Pia’s tight dress that reveals a bit too much in the front, and the stiletto heels swinging from her finger in one hand make it abundantly clear to you why she is here. 

At seven o’clock at night.

With no one else around.

You want to shy away from the implication, to fend off your surprise with a shy chuckle, and let the poisonous current of insecurity draw you away like that time before. But Nanami had skillfully put those doubts to rest weeks ago. 

Now you’re just irritated.

“Pia? What are you doing here?” You keep your tone light, masking the annoyance bubbling inside you. Pia’s earlier sultry gaze has vanished, replaced by widened eyes and hands smoothing her already unwrinkled dress, anxiously. “Kento told me the project ended a few hours ago. Aren’t you flying back to Italy soon?”

She fumbles, her rose-tinted lips curling as she searches for something to say, gripping her heels tighter in her hand. It’s reminiscent of watching a child scrambling for an excuse after being caught with their hands in a cookie jar.

Nanami remains silent, astonished. In the past, any other woman daring to breathe his air while Pia was present would have been met with scathing words and threats. But now, that Pia is desperately trying to produce an excuse for her late presence within a workplace when she she should be on a flight home.

“She was just leaving, love,” Nanami interjects, trying his best to make the situation as simple as it can be. Pia agrees, blushing and nodding, hastily slipping her heels back on with hands seemingly covered in sweat.

Watching her struggle to secure her heels, her fingers slipping on the buckle, reignites a surge of confidence deep within you. The once persistent insecurity in her presence now feels like a mere joke. In this moment, she becomes the joke. 

And you want to savor every minute of it.

The next words spill from your mouth, impossible to contain. You wiggle the small Tupperware container in your hands, gesturing towards her and offering a shy but satisfied smile.

“I was just bringing my husband dinner,” you chuckle airily, the lie slipping from your lips with ease. You relish the reaction from them both. Pia’s hands slip on her heel strap, causing her to stumble. Nanami struggles to contain his composure, eyes wide as saucers, his breath caught in his throat as your words ring in his ears like a piercing siren.

“Kento is the only one on this floor, it’s awfully late and I doubt you would have left earlier without saying goodbye. Surely you—” you pause, pretending to be taken aback before leveling an accusatory gaze at her. She looks up from her hunched position, hands still fumbling with the straps of her heels, her eyes wide and beautifully tan skin appearing pale. You’re not one for pettiness, but the delight from the sight of her struggling courses through your veins. “Surely you’re not here with the intention to do something else, are you?” 

“No!” she quickly retorts, her voice both loud and tinged with a hint of nervousness that makes the corner of your lip twitch. “No of course not—”

“So what are you doing here?” you cut her off with a narrowing of your eyes, repeating your question from earlier with a touch less feigned innocence, your tone slightly more serious and impatient. 

“L-leaving actually! Just wanted to say goodbye to Kento before my flight in the morning,” she stammers, now standing three inches taller, maintaining an air of elegance and grace even as her embarrassment paints her cheeks red.

She hastily bids Nanami farewell—a choked and tight goodbye—, a lopsided and anxious smile directed at you, and stumbles once more as she hurriedly exits the room, a snort of amusement escaping your lips as she trips before disappearing from your sight.

You close the door behind her, shutting away her presence for good.

The room falls into silence, Nanami’s face turning a vibrant shade of red that forces you to suppress your laughter with every ounce of effort you can muster.

“Love, I can explain—,” he begins, but you promptly cut him off, a giggle escaping despite your best attempts to hold it back. 

You know he would never do anything. Nanami would probably take infinite shifts of overtime instead of letting a woman who was not you touch him. In fact, you heard the entire conversation before you rushed in, and it makes your heart flutter with love that is already overflowing for him. 

“It’s not funny,” he grumbles.

But it’s so funny to watch him squirm, his face burning even more and his movements awkward as he clutches the bundle of disheveled contracts in his hand. His expressions of frustration and his furrowed brow only serve to ignite a warmth in your stomach. 

You love to tease him. And now you’ve been given the perfect opportunity to make him sweat.

“There’s no need to explain, Ken. I’m just messing with you,” you reassure him, taking his free hand and gently pulling him back to his desk. Turning to face his still-nervous figure, you retrieve the papers from his grasp and place them neatly on his large mahogany desk. 

“I heard the entire conversation. I am curious though,” you begin, pressing him down into his chair. He’s silent as he watches you push the chair back a little, so you have room to stand between him and his desk. “What do you think she would have done if I hadn’t come in time?”

“Absolutely nothing because I don’t—” he starts, but his words are abruptly cut off by the touch of your hand gliding against the fabric of his chest. Unlike Pia’s touch, your fingertips radiate heat and beckon him in a way that has his cock twitching in his slacks. His heart skips a beat as he watches your own manicured nails circle the buttons of his dress shirt before undoing them quickly. “We can’t—”

“Why?” you interrupt, your voice low and hot, instantly drying up his throat. Your fingertips dance along the exposed skin of his chest, gently teasing him as your nail flicks against a pink nipple before trailing down between the contours of his abs. You tap your fingers along the downy hair that trails under his slack and his stomach bunches in response, twitching from the stimulation, his heart skipping and his throat tightening slowly. 

“Do you want me to stop?”

He doesn’t. God, he doesn’t, and the words ‘no’ are out of his mouth before he can stop them, giving you his consent even though he’s embarrassed out of his mind. His migraine becomes an insignificant thought, the pulsing from earlier falling into a slow ebb, eclipsed by the escalating desire coursing through his veins. 

Nanami has never been the type of man to do this sort of thing. While he likes to be inside you anytime he can, he cherishes the privacy that safeguards both himself and you, more. 

But he can’t lie to himself that the thought of something happening in this office with you hasn’t crossed his mind multiple times—especially when you used to work together.

The sound of you undoing his belt buckle has his heart racing, thumping loud and heavy in his chest and his face is on fire as he watches you release him from the confines of his pants, his cock already hard and leaking. 

You pull your bottom lip between your teeth, biting down and finding it difficult to contain your own desire from the sight of him. The area between your legs throbs as you trace your eyes down a cock that you’re intimately familiar with. Warm and achingly heavy, leaking with anticipation and pleading for your touch. His abs tense with a sharp intake of breath as you wrap your hand around him, a pleasurable hiss escaping his throat as he watches you stroke him languidly. 

You press your free hand into the arm of his chair, leaning in until your lips are mere inches apart. Inhaling his ragged breaths, you admire the way his deep brown eyes blow out, leaving only a ring of burnt umber for you to gaze into. 

Your grip on him has his mind foggy, desire overtaking any rational thoughts that he would normally use right about now. 

But you’re so good. 

You’re curling your wrist with every upward stroke just the way he loves and his abs bunch with every jolt of pleasure that zips inside of him.

He has to touch you, has to get his hands on you in some way to ground himself, and he instinctively reaches out for you when suddenly you tsk, pulling back slightly to create more distance between your lips.

“No touching.”

Oh.

You never deny him when you’re both like this. You always want his hands on you. The fact that you’re now denying him, gazing at him with a dangerous look in your eyes, shocks him. And it arouses him to a degree that makes him choke on a breath. 

He sags back into his chair, gasping for breath when your hands trail down to cup his balls. He digs his fingers into the chair’s armrests, scratching red leather, and he’s desperate to keep himself from cumming too soon.

“Did you—did you lock the door?” he manages to gasp, grasping onto any shred of coherent thought he has left.

You tilt your head in confusion, gaze at him with an indifferent stare, and then shrug nonchalantly before sagging down to your knees in front of him. The sight makes his toes curl in his expensive Chukka boots.

The rational part of his mind urges him to get up and check the door. Just get up and make sure the door is at least locked before anything else—but then his thoughts are short-circuiting and stuttering as your tongue slides wet up his shaft and you swallow him down to the base without a care in the world.

The back of his head slams against the cushioned chair as a surge of pleasure courses through his veins. You’re wet and sloppy, teasing him with your gaze as your mouth stretches from the thickness of him—and he’s struggling to hold on, struggling to keep his orgasm at bay even though it’s right there.

He tries to reach for you—tries to card his hands through your hair but you smack it away and glare at him with such a ferocity that he’s embarrassed for even attempting. 

Marketing templates. Morning traffic. A cold cup of coffee. 

He thinks of everything he can to resist the warmth in his stomach and the coil tightening along his spine; because you suck his cock in a way that makes him fidget in his chair, humming and gurgling into his ears in a wicked melody that’s making him go insane.

You’re enjoying every second of this and it only makes him blush harder with just how exposed he is to you right now. The mere weight of his cock in your mouth and the slightly salty taste of him makes your panties damp, your cunt pulsating and aching to be filled. 

And you’ll make sure it happens.

So you patiently wait until he’s panting harshly, his grip on the arm of his chair growing tighter and tighter. You wait until that crazed look dances in his eyes—the one you’re so familiar with right before he cums. And right when he’s on the cusp, you pull away. 

He exhales hard and sinks into his chair almost in relief as the band inside of him relaxes slightly, desperately trying to catch his breath and hissing as the cold air of his office wraps around his wet cock.

“Pia really did have a plan, didn’t she?” you playfully tease, standing to card your fingers through his blonde locks. Your fingertips glide across the faint traces of sweat, your hand moving along with the shake of his head in response to you, his gaze unfocused.

You kick off your shoes, hook your thumbs into the corner of your leggings, and slide them down and off your legs—his eyes following every inch of creamy brown skin that is revealed to him. 

You’re wearing an oversized sweater, a soft cashmere that he got you simply because he wanted, and it now covers your faint stretch-marked thighs. They are your battle scars, your own reminders of the journey your body underwent to grow and birthed the beautiful daughter you both have now.

His breath falters as he watches you gracefully perch on his large desk, placing your legs on top and bending your knees so your fuzzy sock-covered feet press against the rich mahogany. Leaning back on one arm, you effortlessly open your legs for him. His naturally narrow eyes widen at the sight of your white damp panties, and he longs to lick, suck, and slide his cock inside the very place they conceal.

The glint in your eyes is mischievous and taunting, delighting in the way he struggles to stay seated even as you slide one of your hands down into your panties.

“Can I—” he starts, but you cut him off.

“No.” 

You leave no room for argument and don’t offer anything else as you begin to circle your clit leisurely, arching into the touch as echoes of pleasure hum to life. It’s not long before you’re pushing your panties to the side to expose yourself to the open air. Your cunt throbs with desire when you hear Nanami groan softly under his breath. 

You’ve never been this bold, never entertained the thought of anything voyeuristic. But Nanami seems to awaken something within you, something you’re slowly embracing. He’s so shy about sex outside of the privacy of your home, and it only makes this more exciting that he’s even entertaining it now.

“Did she do this with you?” you ask him, your voice breathless as you sink two fingers into your wet cunt. The corner of Nanami’s eye twitches from the sight and you swallow down a giggle that threatens to escape. “Did she ever make you watch her while she touched herself?” 

You moan softly as you curl your fingers up as best as you can from your angle. Nanami’s fingers dig into the leather of his chair with barely contained restraint. 

“Answer me, Kento.”

“No. She didn’t.”

Satisfied with his answer, a sense of pride flaps in your chest, and you gleefully continue fingering yourself in front of him. It always takes you a while to get off with your fingers, so you use that as ammunition to watch Nanami squirm. 

You watch the way his exposed muscular pectorals move with his increasing breaths. You watch the way his cock twitches, hot and heavy against his stomach, leaking precum onto his abs. And you soak up the way he traces his eyes along every inch of you, leaving nothing without his attention.

When you finally cum, sharp and abrupt, he’s hanging on by a thread—ready to abandon your command to be still, yank you to him, and sink inside. 

He watches your cunt flutter around your fingers as you slowly come down from your high, gasping like an angel into the office air. Breathless, you stand on shaky legs and move to stand before him, lifting slick-covered fingers to his mouth which he readily opens without command, desperate to taste you any time he can. He groans softly against your fingers, eyes drooping, tongue sliding wet between your digits. The sight makes your cunt throb weakly, faint embers that had just died down, licking to life again.

You taste like everything to him, everything he wants and everything he needs.

But it’s not on the menu tonight.

You straddle his lap wordlessly and smack his hands away when he tries to wrap large hands around your waist. He swallows his frustration, yearning to touch you, yet willing to comply for the promise of more.

Using the remnants of your arousal between your legs, you coat him, stroking him enough to make sure you take him effortlessly, and then you guide him to your entrance and sink down to the hilt. The feel of him inside you is glorious, stretching you in the way you like that makes your cunt tremble to life around him, grateful for his presence once again. 

“Fuck,” he hisses—chokes with eyes squeezed shut, hand gripping the chair until it groans. You’re so wet, so fucking warm and tight that he’s shaking--practically trembling and swallowing a whimper as he fights the urge to grab your hips.

You didn’t need much to get used to him. You’re a masochist when he stretches you—you crave the way your cunt tenses from the intrusion, gripping him like a vice.

You’re a champ, enveloping him and giving him little time to acclimate before you’re bouncing on his cock with a finesse that would make any woman jealous.

You slide both hands into the hair at his nape and pull so that he cranes his neck back to gaze up at you. He’s slack-jawed, panting with breaths that tickle your lips, his eyes heavy with desire. 

“Did she ever fuck you like this, hmm? Come into your office when you would work long hours and ride you until you couldn’t see straight?” 

He can only shake his head ‘no’ in response, his throat too dry to speak, his lungs burning. He craves your touch, your lips on him, something to anchor him as he struggles to keep up. It’s the only way he can stay sane when the neurons in his brain are frying by the second. He begs wordlessly, groans deeply up into your mouth, pleading for anything.

And thankfully, you grant him a searing kiss. Your lips mold against his, tongues battling for dominance that he willingly surrenders to. His every thrust hits that perfect spot within you, brushing away hints of oversensitivity and bringing forth faint pleasure that makes you dig your hands into blond tresses and pull tight.

The pleasure caresses the insides of your thighs and tightens the muscles of your legs. Every brush of your clit against the skin of his abs shoots electricity throughout your cunt and up to the base of your spine, igniting a simmering fire that begins to heat deep pools of lava that reside there.

You pull away from his lips with a harsh moan, gasping into the warm air of his office, riding him harder to the point that the legs of his chair begin to squeak.

He knows you well. He knows how you get demanding and delirious and incoherent when you ride him, and he loves to count the seconds until that switch in your brain goes off. And it’s not even a second later when—

“Fuck, you feel so fucking good. So, so good,” you moan against the skin of his lips. “Fucking me just the way I like Ken.”

He watches every move you make, tracing his eyes over the contours of your face and the way your loose curls cling to creamy brown cheeks.

His eyes roll when he picks up your whispered chants. You’re a woman possessed and you take what you want—when you want. And he gives and gives with every yes, yes, more Ken, you’re so good, please, please, please yes!

Your pupils are blown and glazed over with desire, but suddenly your brows furrow in frustration. 

“She walked in here in a tight dress and high heels looking to get you in the same position that I have you now. But at the end of the day, you’re mine.”

There’s not an ounce of coyness in your words. You’re so serious, firm, and unyielding that it makes him shudder, a groan sliding from his parted lips, his eyes rolling into the back of his head and—

“Look at me,” you command, voice low, panting from exertion and the feel of your body beginning to draw tight with embers of a powerful orgasm. His eyes roll back without hesitation, locking with yours. “Unless—unless some other circumstance tears us apart, you—you are mine. Pia can have all the money and fame, but she will never have you. I do.”

“Yes,” he whispers, the word tumbling from his lips without faltering. His hips struggle to keep up and his thighs begin to stiffen as pleasure begins to curl deliciously so that his hands dig into the chair. His fingers slip against the leather, sweaty and tingling.

“You’re the father of my child.”

“Yes,” he chants again, breathless and quivering as the rubber band along his spine grows taught, stretching and shaking from the tension.

“You sleep next to me. You kiss me. You fuck me.”

“Yes, only you—only you.”

You tremble from his words, satisfaction oozing like hot thick globs along your skin. “That’s right, Kento,” you purr as your hips begin to roll against him, your clit carrying currents of pleasure through your veins, that pool of lava at the base of your spine boiling and rising to the brim.

“Please,” he whispers, his plea pulling you from your desire-induced haze. You look down at him, admire the flush of his cheeks, the warmth of his breath against the collarbone of your sweater, the sweat that beads along his hairline. “Please.”

“Please what?” you tease, trying to maintain a playful demeanor even though your hips are beginning to ache from overuse. You come to a stop on top of him, your breaths mingling together.

“Can I touch you?” he asks, always gentle and caring, even when he’s bursting from the seams. You love him so fucking much.

“Will you make me cum?”

“Always,” he responds without hesitation, his words filled with conviction. You lean in, pressing your lips against his, savoring the affection he willingly gives you. When you pull away, you brush thick blonde locks from his forehead, exposing more of his sharp features that will never fail to make your heart race.

“Then touch me, Ken,” you whisper, your voice laced with desire and anticipation.

Without wasting a moment, he swiftly lifts you in his arms, his cock still nestled inside as he carries you towards his desk.

Your breath catches as you stare up at him, the sound of papers scattering to the floor filling the air. He pulls your sweater up, revealing every inch of your faintly stretch-marked belly, before tugging down a cup of your bra, heady eyes watching as one of your breasts spills from its confines. 

He’s too fast. You fumble for words and let out a surprised yelp when he yanks your waist toward the edge of the desk. He presses your knees as close to your chest as you will allow, and then he slams into you once—and then twice before picking up a rhythm that makes your toes curl.

He devours you, tongue flicking and swirling wet and dripping around your exposed nipple as he pounds into you unabashedly, the desk squeaking and groaning from his efforts.

All bravado that you had earlier splinters away with each smack of his muscular hips against you, the skin of his abs brushing against your clit deliciously, coaxing moan after moan from your lips. His tongue flicks your nipple again before he bites the hardened bud, and your cunt flutters—clenches around him, your thighs beginning to twitch even though they’re pressed to your chest.

“I’m all yours. Always yours,” he whispers against your lips, blonde tresses gliding against your cheeks.

You hope there’s no one on this floor, or that no one has decided to come back for something because the last thing they need to hear is Nanami Kento, Director of Strategic Partnerships, railing his girlfriend on his over-priced, too-large mahogany desk.

You can barely breathe, your moans growing in pitch, the sound of skin on skin echoing through his office, your hands sliding up to dig fingers into the skin of his back. You don’t even have the chance to tell him you’re close. 

The stroke of him inside you, the slap of his skin against your bundle of nerves, and the feel of his mouth trailing along the sweaty column of your neck with a deep and heavy cum for me baby breaks the seal inside of you.

The lava boils over—pools along your bones, hot and delicious and caressing every nerve ending within you, your cunt squeezing him without remorse. You can’t help the loud moan that shakes from your lips, growing in pitch when the pleasure seems to spike and overheat you in oversensitivity, your entire body tingling and shaking like an exposed nerve.

Nanami takes every ounce of pleasure you offer. Everything, every part of you is precious—treasured in a way that no one else will ever be able to comprehend. He takes every breath, every hitch in your throat, every droplet of sweat on your skin, every whimper and moan and scratch of your nails against him. He savors it all—needs it to survive, to know that you have chosen him, that you want him, that you love him.

You’re the only woman who makes Pia tremble and stumble over her words. You are a force to be reckoned with, and he knew that the moment you snapped at him when you first met. You’re fierce in the way you love, strong with the words you say, and so fucking beautiful that he cant help but feel proud of just how threatened Pia was by the sight of you.

Those words you spoke confidently to her have played like a record in his head since you forced him into his chair.

“I was just bringing my husband some dinner.”

My husband.

My husband.

He’s thought about it, so many fucking times. And he swears it will happen. Soon.

One day you’ll be his wife.

His wife.

His wife.

His thoughts come to a sudden halt because he’s cumming, catching him off guard, that rubber band snapping in half, pleasure yanking from the base of his spine and pulling a harsh groan from his chest as he spills inside of you.

His hands slip from behind your knees and smack onto the wood of his desk and you wrap your legs around his waist as you both regain your breath. He’s putty against you, melted and loose and molding against every crevice of you as he takes in your intoxicating scent. Lilac from your body wash, shea butter from your lotion, and a hint of cooking grease that wafted onto your skin when you made dinner.

Your fingers lovingly comb through his sweaty hair, your legs blissfully achy, your cunt satisfied and throbbing, and your heart coming to normal sinus rhythm in your chest.

“Ome is probably wondering where I am,” you finally speak, breaking the tranquil silence of his office. “She offered to watch Ulani when I left.” Nanami hums against you, a low and gravelly sound that’s typical of him when he’s ready to go to sleep. “Bring the rest of the contracts home. No more overtime.”

As if he would even entertain the thought of being in this office a moment longer. “Okay,” he agrees, pressing his lips to your neck. He still has his arms around you, still connected to you despite having softened inside you minutes ago. 

But you don’t mind. You cherish these moments with him, holding them dear in your heart, knowing that each one is a gift.

Because you’re the only one who can revel in the way he needs you, the way he craves having his hands on you, the way he murmurs his adoration into your skin. And you love every bit of it. You love him.

“Will she be back?” you ask, a hint of hesitance in your tone.

He shakes his head, groaning softly as you scratch that spot behind his ear. “No. Never.”

“She better not,” you jest, an eyebrow lifting to the ceiling, gazing at no one. “If she pulls shit like that again, there won’t be a happy ending for you.”

He barks out a laugh against your neck, lifting his head to take in your blissed-out form. Fatigue weighs heavy on your eyes, your lashes delicately curled, your hair spread out on his desk to make you look like the most otherworldly thing he has—will ever see. 

“I wouldn’t dream of it, love.”

He kisses you tenderly once and then twice, before resting his head against your chest, the soft cashmere of your sweater caressing his cheek. His eyes catch something on the corner of his desk.

The Tupperware of food that you brought still emits steam, a homemade Katsudon by your hands, just for him.

His heart thrums in his chest, full and filled with warmth.

His wife.

Soon.

Thanks for reading!

©mysteria157, all rights reserved. DO NOT copy, plagiarize, reupload, modify, or translate (without permission) my work to other accounts and platforms.

[ihopesocomic]

Do you think bullying is considered a type of abuse? Does "bully redemption" trope can also be considered a abuser redemption? I can't like this kind of narrative at all. Not even "A Silent Voice " could convince me.

The thing is with bullying is that it is often committed by children and the overreaching fact is that hardly any adult is going to look back on their actions as a child/young adult and say yes, that totally was not cringe of me. This further compounded by the person's home life and/or if they're dealing with personal issues.

I was a pretty huge asshole as a kid and it's not like I mellowed out the moment I hit 18 either. I was dealing with a lot of stuff (i.e. such as undiagnosed autism/schizophrenia and psychologists refusing to take me seriously) and I dealt with it in a shitty manner by being this "edgy badass" online and just getting into online fights whenever I can because being deemed intimidating and scary online made up for the fact I was an insecure outcast offline.

I truly regret how I conducted myself back then. Regardless of what I was going through, nobody deserved to have to deal with me lashing out at them. It was also just embarrassing behaviour to boot.

But I do think bullying can certainly be counted as abuse and it certainly begets abusive tendencies (points to self, who was bullied throughout elementary and high school). But in that vain, I feel people respond to depictions of it in a manner that isn't exactly constructive and is borderline abusive itself, like the desire to outright commit assault or murder on said bully being depicted. lol

Because I also feel this question is also in reference to Rose and her behaviour and while I can't give much away on how we're going to handle her arc, I feel like people demanding she dies or whatever is just... Yeah, let's not. It's essentially 'I hope Vicious dies, particularly at the hands of her abuser' all over again.

It's clear Rose is growing up in a pretty unhealthy environment and is being groomed to take on a position of authority in said unhealthy environment.

I've seen the same kind of reception to irl children of cult leaders and the intent behind Rose's character is to deconstruct the fact that people - particularly children - are very much influenced by what surrounds them and will respond accordingly to it. We're social animals at the end of the day. Same goes for (anthropomorphic) lions. Not to mention what goes on in a cult that may seem alarming and disturbing to us is not necessarily the case for those within it... because they've been brainwashed into thinking it's OK. Rose is very much not exempt from this and her being groomed to become Queen by her father has only made things worse.

Anyway, my apologies, this thing got pretty long and also kinda personal and it probably also doesn't make a whole lot of sense but feeling that bullies cannot be redeemed? Totally get that. Responding to the depiction with unhealthy thoughts of child abuse or murder? I can't really get behind that. If there's room for growth and a chance for them to change rather than becoming outright established abusers as fully-fledged adults, I feel we should hope for that. - RJ

--

Like everything, it depends on how it's done. I don't know what A Silent Voice is, but some things are just too far past forgiveness or redemption. Cuz at that point its not "bullying", it's hazing. If it's teasing, or there's mutual sass happening, or heck even if one person thinks the other is bullying but it was a misunderstanding (Amity calling Luz a bully in The Owl House), and its not full on harassment, or stalking, I don't see the harm in allowing someone to better themselves and liking how they've changed, especially if they're young. And I don't see a problem with a friendship beginning at a place of conflict and grow into something strong and meaningful. I don't even think forgiveness of the bullying itself is a requirement to move on? Maybe I'm just old so I handle things differently than like a teenager would, but certain stuff just stops bothering you. People I'm still friends with to this day weren't exactly pleasant to me early on in our relationship or vice versa, but we never "forgave" the infraction and we've all just moved on because the infraction in question was never done again which is something I personally care more about. I've actually had someone from High school see me years later and apologize for how they treated me. It was just all water under the bridge at that point. But what I think about how things are handled in media is not the same thing as real people. What might not be a big deal to one person might be a big deal for someone else. Again bully redemption is something to be done with care and more often just excuses abuse which is gross. But I've seen it done right, but I wouldn't exactly call it commonplace. - Cat

[mikailys]

MCL NewGen Ep 8 Commentary

Ik it's late and that several days have passed since the episode's release, but I wanted to wait a bit to let my thoughts simmer and write my review with a cool head. I need to rant about it so sit tight 'cause this one in particular is though lol.

As it was advertised, the whole episode revolves around Roy and a peculiar hobby of his: skinny dipping. Thomas is the one who spills the beans -as always- and everyone is curious about it. Roy explains that he only does it after the swimming pool closing hour and you know what: that is fine by me. Is it weird? Yes, but I'm not supposed to care what my co-workers do in their freetime so I personally don't mind.

And, unfortunately, that's all. To sum up, the plot is "co-workers try to go undercover to spy on their other coworker while he's skinny dipping :|

Since I don't like Roy, the premise of this ep didn't really appeal to me at all. But, weirdly enough, it had the opposite effect 'cause I've spent its whole duration feeling sorry for him. He gets the possibility once a month to train alone in a professional pool, and the six of us -which I recall you are his co-workers and his boss- have nothing better to do than to go spying on him? Just because they thought he subtly implied he wanted them to come see him?!

One. It is false since during the whole workday they kept "catcalling" him and joking about it and he wasn't really pleased to say the least. He put on a brave face, endured the working hours, and then left the office asap.

Two. You're adults, fully grown adults that are acting like literally teens. It's not normal for grown-ups to feel excited, see Elenda and Thomas, to play spies to see your co-worker naked. It is weird and creepy.

I'm glad at least I wasn't the only sane person to comprehend this was wrong and absurd on so many levels. Paradoxically enough, the only one I found myself agreeing with was Amanda, a character I couldn't stand until now, she gained a tons of points in my eyes + she's also a girl's girlie so gg.

Also, special mention to the hint of peer pressure put on Candy and Amanda by the quartet. I didn't like it at all and it shouldn't be even a thing considering the context.

No is no, even if Roy supposedly enjoys voyeurism, I personally do not.

This is really a shame cause they butchered so many characters with this unnecessary sketch, Thomas being the worst of them in my eyes. I'm not sure if my perception of him was wrong from the start, but I don't recognize this character at all. Silly jokes, creepy hobbies, and an immature, teenage-like attitude were never traits I would have attributed to him. I know I keep repeating myself but it's truly a shame that such poor writing has impacted the perception and development of the characters, which now seems clearly different from how they were portrayed in the beginning...

Going forward, I made then the choice to leave with Amanda and warn Roy about their ambush. It was nice to have that option tbh. The whole scene afterwards, sneaking into the public pool and hiding in the lockers, was utterly embarrassing because it’s not the kind of behavior you’d expect from people in their late twenties, but whatever the problem it's the whole context so I can't complain about it too much.

Then Roy catches the sextet and pulls off his counter-prank. After snitching on us, we all decided it was a good time to play with water guns. Again, the idea was fun and silly in a good way, but context-wise mmh...

Now the long-awaited moment I've been patiently waiting for: the encounter with Jason.

Look at him I love him sm nsgsg

I had no idea how they would include him in the episode since he practically had nothing to do with the Devenemential gang. And honestly -unpopular opinion- they probably should have left him out of this messy episode because the reason they gave for his involvement didn’t fully convince me, and the special scene was disappointing.

Apparently, he also has deals with the guards -worst security protocol ever if you ask me- and he goes there once a week to train. And here I was thinking that the CEO of a famous and well-known company would have a private pool or the means to rent one lol. Looks like everyone's feeling the pinch these days. Good job Jason, saving money like the rest of us poor unfortunate souls, such a relatable boss.

Fun fact, it appears one of his dreams is to defeat Roy? In a swimming competition?? Like, okay? I'll gladly be there to root for you the day you actually succeed then dear.

Well maybe not everyone shares the same hobbies as you and Roy, Candy. Besides, why would he know about Roy's interests?? He's not as deranged as Thomas, who keeps tabs on his colleagues' private lives...

ANYWAY. Candy feels cold and needs to get out of the pool if she doesn’t want to catch pneumonia. Jason offers to help her by closing his eyes, but she’s not fully convinced. Again, NOT EVERYONE IS A PERV, CANDY. You're just the unlucky girl who's got to work with them. In fact you should bring him to Devenemential to have him teach your colleagues the art of not being crazy maniacs, I'm sure that could be of help.

I won't spend too many words on the next scene since I've already made a whole ass post ranting about it and sharing my headcanon. However, regarding the mistress scene, I will say that yes, it was poorly executed. But if the entire episode had followed this direction I would have gladly signed off on it because, all things considered, it’s not even remotely comparable to the plot we've endured so far.

Now for the special scene I am conflicted. Ngl I really thought for a split second that we actually managed to kiss him, but I quickly snapped back to reality when I realized it was just Candy being delusional and I am just as much as her. She must have ingested way too much chlorine to be having such a mental trip lol. Anyway, I didn't like it very much because it was clear that BV didn't know what to come up with. The fact that they managed to incorporate Jason into the plot was something, but asking for a well-written special scene was apparently too much.

On a side note, I’m DEAD TIRED of having to endure the worst humiliations in every single episode when we’re on Jason’s route. It's pretty embarrassing, and, at lest for me, it’s not easy to move forward without cringing every few minutes. Moreover, it always seems like he has to have the upper hand in every situation. When is our Candy going to stop acting like a fool and step up her game??

And that's all, the episode ends with Candy leaving the pool, wondering if she and Jason will ever stop meeting in the most weird way spoiler: you won't i assure you.

Now for the next episode I fear we’re in for another ‘fun’ plot since it’s called A Child at Heart, but honestly I have no idea what these interns will actually get up to. Maybe the theme will revolve around generational differences, since they seem to be Gen Z while our colleagues are more on the border of being Millennials? Idk but I do really hope the writing will be better than in this ep.

All things considered, I still have faith in BV. I know they have the ability to write a good story with a solid foundation when they want to—it’s just that I don’t know what’s happening with this series in particular. As other players have pointed out, it feels like this plot was originally conceived when NG was still set in a high school, and now they’re trying to repurpose it in a more 'adult' way. The problem is, it’s just not working.

The Halloween event is approaching, and let’s hope it can alleviate some of the discontent in the community. Hopefully the upcoming episodes will be better since they’ve addressed the topic in the forums but we'll see.

[saintqueer]

I'm sorry you got harassed again just from a simple post with a (imo pretty valid) opinion. If that person is the same that answered your post by reblogging and repplying on their blog with unnecessary hate (apparently queer but a solo louie) then it's the one I just blocked. I love to currate my experience in this fandom. Anyway I just wanted to say, I used to love your posts in this fandom! I lost track of your blog and thought you'd disappeard. I'm glad to see you're still on Tumblr and enjoying other fandoms. I'm well aware of how toxic this fandom can get (between the hets, the solos often queer themselves but hating on queer larries and more, to many groups to count tbh, louis' attitude on social media ect), especially when you dare to voice an opinion, which I'm mostly don't lol. I'm staying for the art, the fics, the great memes and ofc the music and the people. You're "y'all" made me think 'I Hope she still got good times and friends out if it. I made some great friends in the larries bunch myself. Anyway sorry for the rant, I lost track of what was my point here. Just was happy to see you pop on my dash through a mutual and wanted to say so I guess?? So once again thank you for the fun times I had reading your posts back in the days; have a great time out here, enjoying your favs fandoms, you do you! Sending love xx

so i was trying to avoid posting any anons regarding prev fandom discourse but i opened this one and read it through and it was just so amazing i had to respond, not just in tags 🥹🥹

of course, it's lovely to hear that you liked my posts on fandom back in the day etc but what really got me was when you wanted to make sure i still got good times and friends out of it, that nearly made me cry

because YEAH I FUCKING DID 🥺😩🥺🥹🥲

blue ( @wastelandbabyblue ) is literally one of the coolest people i've ever known while also being one of the kindest and funniest. id literally kill to meet her one day in person. i still keep up with brenda and several others i met in her og discord, some of which are the only remaining 1d fandom blogs i still follow here - they are so kind and funny and i still talk to them occasionally in a fandom discord i stayed in because i didn't want to lose touch with them.

and 🥹🥹🥹

i met 8 of who i would consider my closest friends in the whole world through fandom. through the most insane wild and unruly fandom discord drama, i literally located my found family: wedo, nino, iza, katja, olia, hanis, chloe, and su

we talk everyday still even though we live all over the world and we talk about nearly everything except fandom nowadays and they've helped me survive living day to day through some of the worst moments of my life. i don't know what i'd do if i didn't have them in my life

last night, i had a bit of a shame spiral thinking about all the time energy money i devoted to the 1d fandom. i felt embarrassed for being so loud about something that ended in so much disappointment. it wasn't fun and i know it was probably triggered by being involved in some discussions i hadn't been in so long

so when i opened this ask, anon, it reminded me so much that whatever was lost from that time, so much more was gained. the embarrassment of remembering dancing around like a fool with a rainbow flag for someone who couldn't even say something as simple as "look at all those colors" pales in comparison to the lifelong friendship i gained with these 8 beautiful women all across the globe

nothing will ever compare to the people i met and the way they feel closer to family than any of my blood ever felt

i'm glad that you found so much goodness as well and thank you for reminding me that it was all worth it for what i got

[everything-is-as-it-was]

Ranking all DnP videos 2024

Hello everyone here to hear me yap! Below I am including all of the videos dnp have released in 2024, rated from my favorite to least favorite. PLEASE NOTE that I actually do love all of them! And this is just a silly thing! But feel free to discuss or send me asks with your opinions :)

I'll start from the bottom up.

10. i have a spicy confession...

This one was lots of fun (wtf is wrong with yall with these confessions) but I'm not gonna lie Phil felt incredibly off in it and like... really performative? Like idk something didn't feel right to me and although he said some really sweet things it felt... off somehow. Not sure how to describe it. Funny though lol

9. HONEYMOON IN JAPAN!

I KNOW I KNOW I KNOW

It was a good video!! I just feel like it didn't have a lot of *those moments* that these other videos had idk. Like yes it was very sweet and a milestone for the sims universe but it kind of felt like that was it for me. The symbolism was inSANE but just strictly talking about the video itself yk. New pics released were nice though

8. Poppy Playtime Chapter 3

This one was a lot but it was SO nice to have such a long video- two hours long who??? That's tbh the reason this one goes above the honeymoon video- the length. The reason I put it lower is that although I am NOT complaining about the length, both of them were SUPER focused a lot of the time and not really talking much haha

7. Viewers Pick My Birthday Presents 2024

The only reason this one isn't higher is because all the ones above this I consider part of their *magnum opus* era. I loved the mini golden pig, the omatone, the shirt, and the Shrek smut. Always fun to see him surprised with cursed stuff loll

6. THE PUBLIC WOOHOO INCIDENT

Pretty self explanatory I think. Dan SCREAMING as Dab and Evan got it on made me actually piss myself. I can still hear it echoing in my head.

5. Phil's Birthday Livestream

Another case of "the only reason this isn't higher is because the ones above it are SO good." I loved the livestream, and was able to attend live for about the first hour. Such chaos. Such good. Amazing.

4. Dan and Phil Get Married, Have Kids, and Retire

Saw the notif while I was getting out of school and I literally snorted out loud, very embarrassing. They're just taking the piss at this point and I'm loving it. Phil's teasing him towards the end with "oh, I think I'll start another photo album!" GOLDEN. "Henry gives me that good dick." "Me and Susan have been rawdogging it." Amazing. Incredible.

3. Phil Pushes Dan's Button for 18 Minutes

A comfort video for REAL. When this came out I was SHOCKED that they had two BANGERS one right after another, but boy was I in for a surprise.

The slime? The slime on Dan's head while he's talking? Phil placing it on his forehead while he stares off into space? Hell yeah I want more of that slime I could look at it all day.

2. Who is the Real Daniel Howell?

Yall. We were fed GOOD today. Dan singing 'my lumps' absolutely DEADPAN while Phil looks at him in Awe? I WANT PHIL'S SWEATER IF ANYONE CAN TELL ME WHERE IT'S FROM I WILL BE GRATEFUL.

So? many shoulder touches? idk what that's about but i aint complaining ig

editing tips! *stuff* coming out your nose! etc!

This one had such a particular vibe to it- I think partially because it wasn't edited by the editor they've been using! To be clear - the editor has been doing a great job and I applaud them :) but sometimes it feels a bit over-edited, if you know what I mean? (For example the count-downs on the sims video going down the mountain felt a bit much) But having a video that was edited by Dan or Phil kinda hits different idk

WDAPTEO2024

I cannot, CANNOT say enough good things about this video. I cannot. I cannot. It holds my whole heart and soul and I have only rewatched it twice because I am trying to preserve the magic but GODDAMNIT I love their shenanigans. What a series.

I was very worried when they came out with this video STRAIGHT into 2024 because I was like, "WOW. that was amazing but idk how they're going to follow this up? will everything feel like a disappointment now that this masterpiece has come out?" (not that dnp uploading could ever be a disappointment, but I digress) BUT I WAS NOT DISAPPOINTED. Still though, wdapteo is 10/10 my fave so far.

I hope you enjoyed my yapping! I know many of you don't agree and that's okay lol, feel free to share your opinions if you so please ! And also with the ones that were lower ranked, the reasons I listed for the being lower ranked was NOT me complaining. Each video is different and awesome in their own right, this is just a ranking of how much I personally enjoyed each one!

Thank you and goodnight!

[lovemyromance]

I have a little rant lol.

In general, the entire acotar fandom is immature and toxic (I honestly think its gotten so bad since nesta's book came out). Most of these people are grown women and men arguing back and forth about characters and ships. It's bad enough that its been going on for years that its sad. "I'll laugh at the elriels or gwnyriels or the eluciens if their ship isnt endgame" Do the people who say that realize how embarrassing they are? Many people are going to have good and terrible theories but bashing people and harassing people over fictional characters is just immature. I also hate when they say "its that [insert ship] the one who is being the most toxic and weird" NO. its all of you. None of us know who is going to be endgame no matter the theories you have or anything. YOU DONT KNOW. So, please, can we stop this already? its getting annoying and weird. This fandom has made it incredibly difficult to know who the next book is going to be about when its right in front of their eyes. Sarah has not made it impossible to know who the next will be about and I think thats why shes been so quiet about because everyone is being so aggressive about this ship war. I just know the moment she announces the couple, she'll get a ton of hate when its not even her fault because people love to twist her words on paper and thinks she's probably doing that but it could mean a whole other thing. Yall have let theories get to your head and twisted words so much that I think it's incredibly unhealthy for all of you to be acting this way. Stick with who you ship or love and of course, you can have beautiful theories, but toxicity is not necessary. No need to go back and forth about who is the real "endgame".

I mean yeah this fandom is insane. Sometimes as I'm aggressively typing out a reply to an anon who calls me a delusional psychotic bitch bc I made an Elriel post they didn't like, I genuinely just blink and think what the fuck am I doing?

It's partly why I didn't want get involved. At all.

I still try to keep to myself. Only even entertain the antis if they come to my posts. I stick to my own tags.

But there are people - and you're right they are from both sides, as I have also said multiple times on my blog -that go out of their way to start a fight on posts they know aren't meant for them.

These are the people that are making this fandom so toxic. Like I understand, no one person can be responsible for a fandom's collective behavior, but you can be responsible for yourself at the very least.

I have always made it clear what i believe acceptable behavior for discourse in this fandom is and isn't. It's not something I can personally enforce for others, but I can follow myself.

It really is crazy how out of hand this fandom has gotten because other people can't control themselves. If I see an anti Elriel post I don't like (and I don't follow any tags, actually, so I see ALL the ships posting), I have the self control to ignore it and keep scrolling.

This fandom has been overrun by childish adults, intent on being louder than the rest. It's crazy how many disgusting things have been said over just fictional characters, it makes me wonder what these people are like in real life.

At the end of the day - there's going to be a book and one side is going to be proven right. It's not worth all these vitriol that's been spewed across all sides just to "be right". I at least, would be perfectly fine to read an Elucien book. If Elriel does happen, I'm certainly not going to lord it over anyone's head and laugh.

Not worth my time. Not worth my energy.

[ecosyncrasy]

I've been watching a lot of longer form content today about studying in preparation for my university prep courses. I've attempted going for a degree many times over across a variety of different subjects and always ran out of steam halfway through the first year. I used to laugh off explaining this to people as me simply being a bad fit for academia and that I was content simply 'knowing a little about a lot'.

However, now in my thirties – making the choice to go back there was something in this video I was watching about study habits that made it click why this time is actually different. Why I feel so strongly that this time I have a chance.

I made so many excuses during my twenties about why I was simply okay with how things ended up because I had internalized that I was completely powerless to change things. I was disassociating so hard the fact that I found myself in a long term abusive relationship where I was isolated from all my family and irl friends. (and the ones I had online had NO idea what I was going through offline because subconsciously I was so embarrassed to even talk about it or admit I was struggling with anything). I had nothing but a job that I was killing myself to excel at because “lol gifted kid burnout is just like that”. There wasn't any possibility of me being on the spectrum or having ADHD because my parents said those are simply not real or excuses. After all, I was making honours lists and was getting 90s up until the family unit started to fall apart (Grade 11).

Yet even in the final months of high school – I had no idea what I wanted to do. I only knew that my parents expected me to go to university. In fact my whole life up to that moment the entire family was gearing up to brag about all the degrees I was just BOUND to get – while being entirely divorced from my academic life. (My father and extended family only cared about achievements. My mother was stressed from being in a shitty marriage and assumed I didn't need any help because my younger brother was struggling so much with even the academic basics.) That by the time I needed to apply I just picked my top subject (English Literature), and picked schools based on where my high school friends were going. Especially since my parents officially separated (messily) the summer before (Hi shitty summer of 2009) I was due to go to uni, in retrospect I was already in a tailspin. I was just clinging onto anything remotely familiar.

I wish so badly that I had someone then to shake me and tell me not to rush off into university on whims that were not my own.

Predictably. I spent the most of that year in a depressive state. I barely attended classes. Spent most of my time in bed. I crashed and burned horrifically, and ended up having my final conversation with my father around this time who's only support was calling me an 'idiot' when I told him I was depressed and considering dropping out.

My subsequent attempts at different things in an online university setting from 20-25 ... were not much better. I ran away from my family situation after the loss of my grandmother who had pretty much raised me when my parents were both consumed with work. Into the arms of a much older guy who definitely never deserved my time. Then all my attempts at school were in hindsight more running away but I was flailing. Picking anything that sounded interesting. Trying to discover who I was in an environment that was not suited to discover ANYTHING. Devouring and excelling in the first half of the classes but not having the confidence to even attempt any sort of exams or meaningful evaluation. Because god – having any sort of needs or support isn't how I get people to love me. If I couldn't do it 100000% by myself – it wasn't worth doing.

And in the end I wasn't chasing a passion. I didn't really see myself in any of those positions. I wasn't allowing myself to go after anything I really wanted because – that doesn't pay the bills. How could I let myself go into debt if I didn't stand a chance of making it back right out of school. I was still basing every choice I was making based on what others wanted out of me (prestige, money, etc).

I didn't, as this video so aptly put – I didn't have the end goal in mind. I was only thinking of the next day – maybe the next month.

I'm in a much better place now. A better relationship that has allowed me space and room to grow. To challenge my old ways of thinking. I'm in a place and have a good relationship with my mother that I am starting (still struggling) to work on being myself. Getting in touch with the things I love. I stumbled into a job (working at a commercial pet store of all things) that rekindled a passion from childhood that's given me a drive I haven't had before.

All these things, coupled with the fact that I've been watching my life pass by in the most unfulfilling way has unlocked memories of begging to go on walks down forest trails. Crying over and hugging trees as a kindergartner that were marked to be cut down to make room for parking. Mourning the loss of a property out in the wilderness for one closer to the city. Leading a gaggle of first graders to make pseudo-science observations of local birds during recess. Devouring hours and hours of nature documentaries wanting to be the ones doing that for a job (but thought I wasn't smart enough or that it was somehow beyond my reach). Craving nature based spirituality. A life long passion for animal welfare, rescue and rights that I buried in a professional sense after I found out that veterinary medicine would have killed me.

Something has clicked this time and it has filled me with such a thirst for success that hasn't existed for me before.

For me the answer is now clear. It's always been Biology. Ecology. Conservation. Fighting for the rights of people and the planet. Every career quiz I've ever taken has told me I craved a calling that would serve a higher purpose. That could help people and be a force of change in the world. More and more as I look down the gun of what is going to be a great challenge, more things unlock in my mind telling me that I am suited for this. This is my purpose – and it feels right. It just took me three decades to understand and feel confident about that understanding.

Even now, I can't remember the last time I've sat down and reflected about any of this. It's the first time I've felt compelled to write about my experiences in a raw and unflinching way. I think that says something.

For the first time I crave the struggle to make my life better. And now pathways are opening up as I discover myself and I'm so excited for the future.

[cheesybadgers]

okay soooo tell me your favorite thing about writing the epic beast that is OHDH. i want the directors cut lol

Ahhh Alex, bless you and thank you for sending this question ❤️😘

And oh boy, where do I start?!! It’s hard to pick just one, so here are three main things:

1) I think one of the trickiest yet most satisfying parts of the process was figuring out a) how any canon divergence made sense for the characters and their motivations and b) what the impact of those changes were on future canon events. It was such a fine balancing act and I had a lot of lightbulb moments in the shower (I swear my shower is some sort of creativity portal lol) solving plot problems. I had someone comment on AO3 saying how much they liked the ‘butterfly effect’ of the canon divergence and that sums it up so well, because one change at the start of the fic has a domino effect on everything else.

Sort of linking on from this, I also had so much fun making characters interact who never met in canon, or only had very minimal screen time together. Horacio and Chucho obviously never meet in the show, but their paths crossing in OHDH led to a whole new subplot and ultimately helped shape the ending of the fic. I wanted this to be a transformative work rather than a re-hash of canon, so if I achieved anything, I think it’s safe to say I achieved that!

2) I was also surprised how much I immersed myself in fic research, more so than I ever did for my degree back at university 😂 I knew I was going to have to do some research when the story got to a certain point, but I just kept falling down different rabbit holes and it expanded my reading list in all sorts of directions I wasn’t expecting. It got me back into the habit of reading books too, which I’m embarrassed to say I hadn’t done much of in recent years. But knowing I needed to read X or Y in order to progress with a certain scene or chapter was great motivation.

I must confess, my knowledge of Colombian history wasn’t great before (it’s not something the British education system covers), but my reading actually made me question and challenge the source material in ways I hadn’t before. So, shipping might be considered just shoving two characters together like dolls, but hey, at least I learnt some history along the way lol.

3) Getting to make up a tonne of backstory (especially for Horacio, who is a bit of a blank slate in canon) and create OCs. I’d never created proper OCs before this fic, so it was fun building them around the main pairing, giving them their own personalities and histories but also letting them affect the story. I think the different locations throughout the fic were like OCs of their own too (I’ve been contemplating a holiday to Madrid since I wrote the chapters set there lol), so the world building aspect of it was a fun learning experience too, and not something that came naturally to me at the start.

I’m sure there are so many more things! I will also say it’s been the steepest of learning curves re: my writing skills as well. I’m probably not even consciously aware of everything I’ve learnt, but going back to earlier chapters has been difficult, because I was obviously much more inexperienced back then lol. The urge to do re-edits has been real, but I don’t think I have the energy for that right now (and it was posted as a WIP, so by its nature it’s going to show the progress of my writing from start to finish).

Back in 2020/2021, I wanted to push myself out of my comfort zone (I think it was around a time during the pandemic when I realised how uninspiring my day job is and how little motivation I have for it anymore, so pursuing creative hobbies away from it seemed like a better use of my time), and it's safe to say I managed that with this behemoth 😂 It's been a huge journey of self-discovery and realising what I'm capable of. Fic used to be something I thought only other people wrote, so there were times I'd pull a metaphor or certain phrasing out of thin air and laugh at my laptop in shock, because I didn't think I had it in me to be poetic lol.

So, my advice to anyone reluctant to start a creative project because they don't feel skilled enough, please, please, please do it anyway. Seriously. Because you will muddle through, learn so much along the way and surprise yourself ❤️

Ok that was a bit of a ramble, but you did say director’s cut, so here we are 😂 Thank you once again for sending this, I've been in such a reflective and bittersweet mood since finishing, so it's nice to focus purely on the positive aspects of the experience 😘

[maygrcnt]

Let’s see the Olivia 911 song list

thank youuuuu for asking i love you!! i know i said five but i didn’t want to stop at five so i did ten. also im gonna try and refrain myself from just saying every song is a buck song but it’s hard

1. Brutal- seasons 1-3 May. I feel like we as a collective don’t talk about the early seasons of may grant enough. she was just a kid! and she was being bullied so bad she thought she didn’t have any way out of it, it’s so heartbreaking. and then she just kept going through stuff in her family life and… i just care for her so much and this is HER song fr.

2. Deja Vu- Buddie. there’s no like actual moment of buddie for deja vu but i just feel like this is what’s going through both of their heads every single time the other person has a date with someone else. like this is the one and only buddie jealousy song to me!

3. Vampire- Buck/abby. like i’m sorry you can’t convince me buck abby was an ethical relationship and im NOT talking about the age gap even though that’s the main point of this song. like she got his info in a sketchy way and then basically used him to help her heal until she was ready to move on but then didn’t even have the guts to do an actual breakup and left the kid hanging for months. call me a bitch but i feel very comfortable saying she sucked so much of his energy and life. it took two full seasons for him to fully find closure from that while she had started a whole new life! :/

4. Stranger- Buck/abby again lol. this is like the other side of that argument where it’s like, buck was totally crushed but now in season seven who the fuck cares about her! she’s just a stranger now! and the lyric “you are the best thing i keep so far out of my life” is very them. because she did change his outlook on life in MANY ways but his healing from her was the best thing he could have ever done.

5. logical & enough for you- maddie. my heart breaks listening to these songs from a maddie perspective. thinking about how long she suffered and dealt with so much she didn’t deserve,,, these are the best songs for her imo especially the lyric “one day i’ll be everything for somebody else” because she is she really is! and she’s getting married to the person who looks at her like she hung the moon and i love her!!!

6. Making the bed- eddie, specifically pre canon eddie. idk how to explain this one but it’s very much just the idea of him getting back to his son realizing how shit things are and being like … i had a part in making this problem and now i need to fix my shit. and then he did!

7. 1sf3sb- henren in the early seasons/precanon. the cheating storyline is one of my least favs but i love how they showed them rebuilding from it and coming back even stronger. but in the midst of it all this song is truly very them from karen’s perspective. she was valid for everything during that time btw karen is a literal saint for her patience.

8. boahsg- ravi, our little clumsy socially awkward darling

9. Love is embarrassing- Bisexual buck!!!!!! this is my fav liv song and it’s so buck it’s not even funny. the anthem for the give more than they get hopeless romantics oh god i love him and it became way way more buck when he kissed a man who’s kind of a loser. i bet he’s planning out his wedding with a guy he’s never marrying right now!

10. finally, the newest addition to my list and the most important in my mind: Scared of my guitar the most buddie song to ever buddie (other than good luck babe). I love this song so much coming from the perspective of them literally not being able to lie to each other but they can lie to significant others like it’s nothing. oh there’s so much good stuff in there it’s amazing.

thank you for letting me do this anon ily

[blackberrysummerblog]

💫 and 💌 if you please!

Thank you so much for asking!

💫 what is your favorite kind of comment/feedback?

Gah, I love all comments and feedback! I guess there’s such a thing as critical feedback, but I’ve rarely seen it given publicly to anyone and it’s only happened to me once, I think. I remember being surprised by how little it bothered me—it was from someone who nearly always liked my work and even though they flat-out and in front of the whole fandom said they didn’t like what I’d written in that instance, I just didn’t take it all that personally, lol. I was going to say I don’t know why, but after a few moments of thinking about it, I probably do—the thing they didn’t like was very much what I’d intentionally done, so…that’s how it goes sometimes, I guess.

I think I like it best when someone gets what I was trying to do, i.e. if I was trying to be funny and someone tells me my story made them laugh, I really like hearing that, or if they particularly enjoyed a certain scene, that’s always super gratifying to hear. And sometimes a comment makes me think a little harder about something I wrote. With “Lifted”, @bookish-bogwitch noted that Baz saying he’d been sick in love with Simon “for a long time” meant so much more coming from him at age 38 than it did when he was 18, and yes, I’d meant that, but at the same time I hadn’t really thought about it as closely as I did after getting that comment. And a lot of the fics I wrote for the COC were set in the same post-canon world, all at different points in Simon and Baz’s life together, so I really appreciated that my concept of a long relationship had been seen.

But as much as I adore getting comments, I’m very happy with just a kudo as well! I’m not the greatest at leaving comments myself so I can understand if other people don’t feel up to leaving one. I’m trying to be a little better about leaving comments, but I always feel like I’m doing a superficial job compared to how I actually feel about what I’ve just read. I often feel embarrassed about the quality of my feedback, but I do know that no one is sitting there going, “ugh, her comments are so lame, why did she even bother” 😜 And for sure I never do that with any feedback *I* get—I’m over the moon anytime someone takes a moment to say anything to me at all, so any and all comments are treasured!

💌 share something with us about an up-and-coming work (WIP) that has you excited!

Ha ha, the idea of even posting something again is exciting—it’s been so long! I’m toying with the idea of posting my Crucible marriage fic before it’s completely finished, but I really can’t do that until I figure out where the starting point is going to be, can I? Sigh.

It’s a nice hit of dopamine to post something that you made in your brain and have other people tell you they liked it, isn’t it? I guess I’m hoping that readers will think the story is funny, sweet, maybe a little hot in places, all that good stuff. I’m also hoping I can manage to make the plot interesting enough that it will be worth all the ink it’s not really printed with. Fingers crossed!

Thanks again for the asks, @thewholelemon! I’m going to try to get a bit of writing done tonight, so wish me luck!

[wanderingpages]

Chapter 3, LETS GOOOOOOOOOOO

Hot girl math every chapter, but i like that you solved the equation for me ❤️❤️ vivi is cardans age, but a freshman 

“My breasts would spill out of anything she owns, so I let her know I do actually own clothes sexy enough to attend a party.” - mommy? Sorry. Mommy?

““I used to sneak out of the house pretty late,” I reveal to her. “Sneakers though – had to climb up to my roof to get back into my bedroom.” ” - she a baddie she showing her panty – also as an aside, love the aesthetic you have going on for the tumblr chapters, like oof, you said (drake voice) this is not to get confused, this ones for you (Me,) – also does this mean she sucks at heels cus she never thought to wore them since she always used sneakers and this is foreshadow or am i reading too into this??? Also this, foreshadow too? > “but he always drew the line at curfew.” (me picking at crumbs) also: Air Force 1s in my air force one (Aside, yall remember rocking that thang remix? Yall remember when rap songs had remixes with like everyone?? Last one i heard was probably fuckin problems. We need another anthem (So i gave em another anthem [we the bessstttt]) - dj khaled - me. Peach i am on medication for Covid.)

““My…brother,” I test the word out. It’s so foreign, it tastes rancid in my mouth. ”- ok but physically, jude…jude, look at me, physically. Not rancid at all. He is delicious, i promise, you jude. Jude. I promise, you jude ❤️❤️❤️❤️

“When I say it again, in front of the lookout guy at the door of the frat house,” - ok but this transition!!! When i say its a MOVIE, PEach. PEACH

“Let me embarrass myself in front of his friends and roommates. He’ll laugh about it later, with them” awed by how canon this actually is for fanfic lmao

““Alright sweet thing,” this guy tells me and I want to punt kick him in the balls for it.” - i know thats right fr. Vivienne also, is everything. Shes a better friend than she is sister, and ill let that sit with yall (yall, i say like im talking to a crowd, bye, im so delulu) anyways but the whole inner turmoil of jude thinking Cardan invited her to embarrass her? Baby who hurt you (Your mother, i know. Already cleared that) im talking in a lot of parenthesis. You can see where the medicine is taking over, actually. Im lucid tho

““My baby sister,” he coos in jest, making me feel uneasy. “Come here,” he tells me,” –he’s such a dickhead im in love

“At the wedding it was all soft makeup and tied up hair. Today, there’s glitter on my eyelids, sharp wings accentuating the shape of my eyes, a gold glimmer on my cheeks that catches in the light, and lips so red that he holds his gaze there for a moment too long. ” – Peach, i love this so MUCH she’s EVERYTHING TO ME 🥰😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨

But back to him being an ass why is he soooo lol like really walking around the fact that theyre NOT related, for the taboo of it all. Kinky mf, i fear.

“catching mirth in pretty hazel eyes only partially obscured by sandy blonde hair. ” GHOST? IS THST YOU?

JUDE AND CARDAN KISSED? WHEN?

OH - “. We did a little more than kissing that night. His fingers traced over parts of me even the sun hadn’t yet touched. Thunder had masked cries I couldn’t hold back and lightning had made him look like a luminous god. I cross my legs, embarrassed and something more.” help me. Also shut up locke, mind ur business for real, this is grown people talk.

Omg it was Ghost ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️”“You’re Greenbriar’s sister.” / “Stepsister,” I breathe out ” stop this is so derek and casey coded 😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨

HOLD ON WAIT GHOST?! GHOST AND JUDE? ( I love that he braced her head when they fell lmao horny but gentlemanly)

AHHH CARDAN? HELLO?! NICASIA ? OH MY GOD AND ALL FOUR OF THEM JUST DECIDE TO KEEP GOING?? They said impromptu orgy. “Cardan shifts and leans back on his elbow, still having a perfect view of me, but now giving Nicasia space to twist her head to look at me, too. ” - please…. I am on my knees… i am unwell….i am sick to my stomach… alexa play that should be me by justin beiber…. That should be me fr but which one is the question??

God why is ghost everything right now??? “Do you want them to watch?” like oh my god….. I need a moment. I need a lot of moments. “”Do you want your brother to watch me taste your come?”” – i am…convulsing. Ghost is… like my body is breaking out in a sweat.

Say please and make it as sweet as your – top 3 things that would send a victorian child into a coma

Stop why was this the best head ive read? 

““Such a good girl,” I hear Nicasia whisper.” - help….  They are actual deviants and i am in hell, keeping your seat warm, peach ❤️❤️❤️❤️

lol see this is the longest ask over ever had so far and I’m truly amazed at your commitment ngl

Sneakers, I guess it’s foreshadowing for some stuff 🤷🏻‍♀️ curfew, yes. I like that you have three separate song references in one paragraph lmao I also feel this is the point you should have called it a night and fell asleep 💀

This is so uncannon that’s I’ve tried to slip all the cannon stuff I actually can in 😫

Actually cardan was intoxicated here but was genuinely surprised she introduced herself as his stepsister cus he was like …oh? Ok…:)

Yeah you know I love me some Ghost 🤭

Yes! Absolutely Derek and Casey!

Yes ghost!!!! Also I do love people being mindful during intimate moments ngl like duh hes gonna make sure she doesn’t crack her head open!

Your commentary here is sending me oh my god 😂🥰

[fitzpirations]

Some thoughts on me seeing Days of Wine and Roses like,, almost a month ago now but I don't feel like editing it other than to add a few extra bits in bold & at the end. Overall, I really enjoyed it! Intrigued at what's next for the cast & crew, and if I could see it again/replicate my first viewing I probably would.

My thoughts, like film have developed and I am mostly out of a terribly weird headspace that I was unfortunately stricken w/ this weekend and I gotta say I loved Days of Wine and Roses.

~~~~~~~

I do think it’s perfect in the theatre it is right now & while I would LOVE for it’s actors to win very big awards for it and do believe they are due… for me a transfer is not the right move. Willing to debate on it! I think the story is important and unique and beautifully told but,, I also think the set/sound/lighting design @ Atlantic is special and can’t imagine it staged differently. It perfectly fits that space and needs that intimate of an audience, in my opinion.

anyway, this isn’t a full review & no one cares, but I’m so stoked with how things turned out & with my friend and I scoring great cancellation ticket seats & seat upgrades for a very cheap price and the fact that REDACTED who I adore was also there. my friend spoke to them while I blacked out- it was very neat. So embarrassed of myself for our post-show interactions that I’ve physically cringed and tensed up every time I think about it but! The show keeps replaying in my head and I’ve been thinking more and more about how it was told and listening to the demos and I just think how great is it to see a new piece of live theatre! I went in knowing a barebones plot (and purposely avoided real reviews, the demos, and the original movie) and was so happy to go on that ride. I do so so wish my mental health wasn’t being all finicky because I think I would’ve been all the more immersed in it but- nothing I can do about that. Luckily I didn’t say much of anything to the redacted actors in question, but my lack of interaction with one while my friend spoke to them and kept nudging me & my theatre equivalent of “good game” to the other will haunt me forever ❤️ my only consolation is I believe I wasn’t memorable in my presence & that maybe 1 day I’ll properly meet these people who I literally adore as a fellow creative. Wouldn’t that be nice. Until then, I will continue to beat myself up about it LOL. It’s so,,, I hasten to actually explain it more, but I feel about 3 feet tall thinking about it.

And did they drink ANY wine the whole time??? I’m very Kirsten in the first few scenes-coded in that I don’t drink and really never should be convinced to, haha. So I’m not super knowledgeable on names of booze- but I think I would have noticed them drinking wine, red wine at least. And no roses, just sad tulips. Oh! I could go on about the 2 little transition scenes they do with ok, both the “wine” (the bag from the liquor store that they have you you to believe is only holding one bottle) and the “roses” (the soon-to-die Tulips). Like it’s set up as a bit of like? Something to watch while they’re moving things around but actually? It reappears in the actual plot in a large way. And so many moments echo and mirror each other in words, actions, and song between Joe and Kirsten, but the reprises (so to speak) are new and fresh. Just so so neat. What a fun & exciting new piece of theatre. And why is the rolling out of the bed all the way to the front of the stage so funny? maybe it just was to me.

anyway anyway I have a lot of thoughts/they keep coming in and like loading which is wild. Like I’m joking but it’s as if I blacked out?? Perhaps someone on here will appreciate the image of me debating just buying closing night tickets even though I was too cheap to spend full price on any other performance// but a newer friend of mine posted a story of like, the New York Times review on opening night and I responded to it like “I’ve been dying to see this show!” and he was like “yeah haha it’s really good I’m working press on it lol isn’t that funny and I had to take a group pic with Kelli and was emailing her to arrange something and she saw me and called me over by name and gave me a hug- I didn’t know she knew my name!” I worked with this guy on the show I stage-managed recently and he’s in the process of quitting his sweet sweet press agent job and I’m not a close enough friend to acquire tickets from him and let me tell you,,, I was absolutely losing my mind reading this .

cut to my (other, closer) friend and I rolling up to the show without tickets the other night, with just hope & a dream and we were like 'wouldn’t it be funny if we saw like ~celebs/Broadway people because a lot of them are off tonight?' and we were chatting about watching the Tony's and stage-dooring and other unrelated stuff & we get tickets after 20 minutes and go to dinner and when we come back she’s like look it’s REDACTED TONY WINNER and I’m like omg. We go to step into the building proper and who do I see but my literal favorite actor at the moment other than REDACTED who is in the show and I was like friend it’s REDACTED! and she’s like go say hi and I’m like??? No I will not be doing that. And she’s like but he’s your favorite! And hey, we’re here to see REDACTED, who’s your other favorite! It’s a big night for you! But she was so loud that I was like looking straight ahead embarrassed that the random people in line would hear us. Literally what a time though, we had standing room tickets and then we got moved up like twice to center row, perfect view seats. Literally like a day later I was finally like O MY GOSH about it all,,, the desire to not be crazy about any of it and keep cool made me robotic in the moment and I’m very pro leaving-people-who-don’t-know-me-alone, so the circumstances were odd.

Anyway I literally have a notes app I keep throwing thoughts at about the most random moments from the show or the staging and it’s v good theatre. Like I enjoyed it, but wasn’t in love or anything but the more I stew on it, it’s a random choice of adaptation, a weird little show, its stars (including the actress playing their kid) are arguably all too old for their roles, there’s a song in Norwegian?? the opening number didn’t give me the ick but I was scared for my life that Brian was singing all of his lines// like I knew it was going to be a “two-hander” and read that the others other than the kid don’t really sing but that opener,,, I was like o no do I hate this? But also the set was so cool and as a recent big fan of Brian is was v cool to literally see him irl (lame I know) but why does the cast just pose in the beginning and slay for like 30 seconds? Idk but it was v 1950s chic of them idk idk we literally were clapping like,,, YEAH 👏👏👏 yeah! 👏👏 . And the scatting/jazziness of it all, I literally was shook but so pleasantly surprised by it all. What a treat! New musicals!!!

ok i literally never resolved the point I was making that the opening scene was not my thing and I was a bit scared I was going to hate it, but really enjoyed like the following 90%! Something about the first song is that it shouldn't be a song, in my opinion. I get why people are tempted to call it a play with songs, but I do think it's a real musical. Just was a bit cursed watching Joe singing right off the bat when no one else did, imo! If I were to see it/hear it again I may come around to it, but something about the way he was like half-singing was weird to me lol

but also randomly saw something from a video (that I haven’t watched as of yet) of Kelli saying they were supposed to open on BROADWAY February 2021 I think?? (tell me they wouldn't have closed immediately w/ omicron? or am i mistaken, I watched like 3 shows I was rooting for that season close early, and there were a TON) Literally the more I think about the show I’m like,, respectfully don’t transfer to Broadway,, it’s so special where it’s at, like I know Atlantic announced its next season I feel? But I don’t know what theatre it would fit in correctly, they’re all too big and the opposite of the intimate experience it is rn. In a perfect world I literally want them to film this version (which I know is the epitome of highly unlikely) but also, I think realistically other than the star power of the cast and creative team it’s such a hard sell for your typical theater-goer or tourist and I would hate for its history to be one of a flop like,, what have we learned from The Sweet Smell of Success :((( I also learned via Kelli ‘s own post and someone’s reference on here that there’s a full boot of that…someone please me up with a link!

So what have we learned. A lot of takes I have not shared,,, it turns out I can get starstruck and it’s so embarrassing it makes me want to scream. Show is good! I’d love a cast recording and for it to not just die but,,, I’m fearful of the idea of a transfer- it seems like it’s likely happening anyway, someone on the team commented on Kelli’s ig about the Tony's all like “excited for next year!” And my press agent friend is all “they’re eying a transfer!” And it’s not that they don’t deserve it but… idk I will remain skeptical of that. I truly believe it can be a success where it is now, and that just because it isn’t a Broadway show doesn’t mean it isn’t impactful and rewarding creatively and etc etc there is the part in my brain like this is Brian’s Tony tho, no?

I firmly believe had everything w/ Next to Normal gone down differently he would have beat those little Billy Elliots’s in a heartbeat, but I digress. Like other than SSOS which I only have a idea of (and no clue about that year’s competition from the top of my head) he’s been up for 2 comedic roles which are hard sells in a category with “proper,” dramatic roles nominated -as in, actors who appeared in a leading role in a drama- and then ITW-which I have thoughts on separate from who his competitors were- which tows that line and sadly like,, it wasn’t even close for him. I feel like every nom he’s had doesn’t even quite show off how talented he is as an actor like idk how to describe it, but idk. I want a Chip Zien nom & win for Harmony, which my brain tells me may be a featured role but if it’s lead… all hypothetical but I’m not rooting on the show’s downfall… I just think it’s perfect where it is.

Anyway... chaotic highly informal thoughts but I also have a few screengrabs from my notes app note I am going to paste below. Would love to hear someone else's thoughts, and am willing to say, obviously, one of the REDACTED's in question is BdJ.

[m1ckeyb3rry]

SHSHS YOU SHOUDOVE TOLD ME ABOUT THE SHITTING TYPO LMAOAOA im crying if I hadn’t gone back to read the tl myself it would’ve just sat there un-addressed forever….I was even thinking of making a master note of all the TLs I’ve had so far just to organize imagine I just copy pasted that omg…maybe I should’ve slapped it into grammarly or some spell check before hand

But FR shidou actually hyping people up when he acknowledges vs Emo Rin…

No I completely get it it’s like when you start using like a cringe term ironically and then it just integrates itself into your vocab LMAOOO I know the feeling all too well…

OMGGG guys oaeu is fr happening….wait now I’m torn past me would’ve immediately slammed the Karasu button but after our convo im not sure??? Karasu for obv reasons but wait the otoya ideas we talked abt were way too entertaining and the Nagi double date and then also aiku being like “Barou needs bitches” GUYS decisions…………………….and how could I forget our yuki prince aiku discussion too omfg

REAL lowk I see a lot of nagi hate nowadays?? Mostly the people going “haha nagi fraud” or “nagi u suck apologize to Reo rn” so errrrr I’m gonna need kaneshiro to show us the matches of other stratums pls im lowk sick of Isagi’s face I NEED to know what goes on in scenes Isagi isn’t in pls im begging (channel ur inner kaneshiro and save us please)

I’m ngl I was pretty caught up but I don’t remember anything about his backstory LMAOO based on his character im sure you’re right tho

Also WAITTT I ALMOST FORGOT ABT YUN I love him he was so cute but chigiri as yun so real….I could’ve sworn he also had a moment where people were like “you’re a dude???” Which kinda aligns with the whole chigiri “princess” thing LOL

Wait that’s actually lowk such a smart way to decide HAHAHAH lmk how the results of that go….ive seen a bunch of matchup events floating around too I hadn’t realized how popular they were

I’m not even kidding it’s a little scary how accurate your kiyora feels…like in your previous response you were like “I think I got it somewhat right?” and I went in reading it expecting it to be maybe a little off maybe more violent since that’s what you described it as and then I proceeded to read and it was just canon kiyora. Witchcraft. Kaneshiro is actually invading your brain telling you what to do.

Kiyora being kinda shy and showing his crush a more private, somewhat vulnerable side to him>>>> he’s lowk cuter than I originally thought is this a conversion moment….ill hold onto this sentiment LMAO kiyoranese has me laughing so hard I lowk see the instrument vibes but I’m ngl I think I prefer this one over the instrument…maybe also because I don’t like Kaiser as much HAHA both are so good though….

THATS ACTUALLY TERRIFYING I’m glad you both are safe bc wtf..maybe you should invest in a bottle of pepper spray jic SHEGAJ

LMAOO is the one who mouthed sorry also the one you turned down with an excuse or is this a different person (if it’s different you really have some crazy rizz aura because that was really quick work) ok but no violence is good I was reading that thinking like “wait how much of this is non fiction……”

Checking off another Mira banger off the list…excited for whatever’s next and also the oaeu….

- Karasu anon

LMAOOO no it was funny and i didn’t want to embarrass you plus i kinda forgot it once i started typing so i did not say anything i’m sorry 😩 next time i will though

YESSSS OAEU IS HAPPENING literally so hype it’s going to be so much fun plus season 2 starts soon so it’s like the perfect time to be working on it because the anime onlies are going to get into tabieitaken and aiku which is perf 🤩 LMAOO i’ve fed enough karasu content that the world is no longer starving so it’s more like bonus atp 😏 HAHA funnily enough reo was winning the poll for a WHILE there but now karasu’s in the lead again 😭 it might just be an audience bias thing though because there’s no way if you get random people from the fandom to vote they would pick karasu over sae nagi AND reo 😰 we’ll see there’s still a bit of time before the poll ends so the winner def isn’t locked in yet!! i think reo is second place atm (possibly tied w sae) and karasu is winning w barou in third but who knows how it will all play out

EVERYONE SWITCHED UP ON NAGI SOOOO FAST it’s like they all forgot who carried isagi in the second selection 😱 truly there would be no bllk if nagi wasn’t there to score 90% of team white’s goals 😭 and he was also the first to score on the u20s like i need everyone to put respect back on my man’s name 😒 he’s going to comeback TRUST and when he does everyone will start glazing again but i’ll know…i’ll remember 🙂‍↕️

YESS i distinctly remember yun being mistaken for a girl and being called pretty (he also calls himself pretty a lot iirc) so it’s literally perfect for chigiri!! maybe i have a type in the kind of media i like watching or smth the parallels are kinda going crazy

yeahhh they are surprisingly popular!! i haven’t done a ton before (one of my old mutuals did them so i think i did a jjk one and got noritoshi + choso + yuta so basically i’m pomegranate ink y/n 🤩) but i think it will be fun to see for like curiosity’s sake yk plus it might make me more decisive on who/what to write for…or not LMAO imagine i get shidou bruh i’d be at a loss for words (i don’t THINK i will but the chances are never 0 yk)

LMAOOOO that’s so good to hear i was worried i made him too extreme especially because when i answered you it had been a bit since i had finished so like the most memorable parts to me were him getting in the fight and him talking abt how he beat up the mayor’s son but i forgot he’s pretty chill for the most part in the fic!!

HAHA omg kiyoraism incoming…idt he’ll ever break into my top three (nagi karasu barou the it girls of the miraverse fr) but he’s def growing on me honestly he’s rlly sweet in his own way 🥹 no i def feel that because neither of us have ever been into kaiser + w the instrument it’s almost a less relatable story?? since the reader is a famous actress instead of a regular person…plus kaiser is the opposite of kiyora he seems chill and sweet on the outside but on the inside he’s a little off putting whereas kiyora is ready to smack a bitch on the outside but on the inside he’s just a cutie who gives people grape candy if he likes them and the latter is def a trope that i think we both enjoy more LMAOAAO

IT WAS SCARY and okay so there were actually three guys that night — the one who said sorry (he only half counts though ig because it was dubious whether we were being friendly or if he liked my best friend or me), the one who i rejected by saying i was too drunk, and the one who slid into my linkedin dms 😭😭😭 the rizz aura is a little crazy to be honest like just today i was at the library to print out my resume and a guy asked for my instagram (also was not into him alas but i did give him the insta because why not) bruh it sounds like i’m making it all up or smth but trust it’s 100% real…i’m only chronically online on the inside externally i look normal enough to be approachable ig 😩💔 HELP IF THERE WAS AN ACTUAL FIGHT I WOULD’VE CRIED luckily he just yelled at us a ton but i did use some direct quotes and paraphrases from him to really liven up the story FJFHSJSJ

ANOTHER BANGER DONE now i need to figure out which req i want to be inspired for next and get to work so we can get to the oaeu 🤩 not counting yours i have 5 left to do so hopefully i can get them out quickly!! two hiori ones, two karasu ones, and a nagi req 🤩 plus the ones you sent in ofc and then i got a req last night also for nagi but they missed the cutoff so i’ll work on that post oaeu

[kryaaas]

The reason why Jean clings to authority and control is because he is actively trying to conform to the institution that hates mentally ill people like him.

I feel like it shows how the System creates resentment/competitiveness among marginalised people. We know Jean isn't as good of a detective as Harry so he has to make up for it by being "put together" and managing his precinct.

So when Harry, after 15 years of working himself to death, starts to “break down” (aka he is not being able to do his job anymore and further damages the reputation of the precinct), Jean becomes frustrated

While there are understandable grievances Jean has with Harry as he, as his satellite officer, is expected to clean his mess, he still treats Harry with a lot of prejudice due to internalized ableism. Instead of looking at the bigger picture and realizing it's the institution that is hurting them both, Jean just starts to blame only Harry and assume worst intentions from him

Harry isn't actually suffering, he just makes excuses for himself. Harry’s relapses are him not trying hard enough to improve, and definitely *not* the result of him being forced to a be work effectively while disabled and ill. Harry doesn't actually have amnesia, he is just lying to escape consequences for his actions. Harry is an insane, manipulative psychopath who “betwitches people” into feeling sorry for him. Etc etc you get my drill

In addition Jean seems to have a typical mentality of “I am not like other mentally ill people/addicts. I am a professional. I hold myself together. I have value. You can't replace me”

I said that before somewhere but the tribunal was probably never really about *firing* Harry (even though Jean can do that). I mean, Harry is waaaaaay too much of a prolific detective to just be fired and Pryce himself seems to want him around

Honestly it just seems like Jean just wanted to have a little *power trip* over Harry, who is in a very vulnerable position and can't really “fight back” (not without Kim and Cuno)

I think it explains why Jean is so “fidgety". He is very agitated at Harry but tries very hard to stay as collected and professional as possible because he needs ro be better than Harry and he doesn't want to lose any leverage he has over him at that moment

You also have to remember he just pretty much sat there for a week in an embarrassing wig and sunglasses in front of (as it turned out) *respected* Lieutenant Kim Kitsuragi. So obviously now when he is actually trying to be authoritarian he is nervous and tries his best to make up for such a blunder lol

I also don't really agree with the notion Jean is "deferring" to Harry’s authority. It's not that Jean never listens to Harry but I feel like Harry doesn't have nearly as much power, authority or respect among his colleagues as some in fandom believe. Look how Chester and Mack treat Harry - he is a joke to them! He is Dick Mollen, a shitkid, not the lieutenant double yefrieter! Harry can try to request money and no one gives a shit. Also fun fact: if you try to call the station for personal information when Jean and Judit are already at the Whirling, Jules says there has been an order to not disclose any info to Harry. Like what the fuck guys?? Did Jean really ordered Jules to do that and Harry can't even do anything about it??😭😭😭

So when I hear people say "oh Jean leaving when Harry told him to fuck off is a display of Jean following Harry's order" I cant help but go: is it thoughhh🤨🤨

Like what kind of man would look at the scene where his drunk partner literally screaming hysterically, breaking thing, and talking crazy shit about the abyss and go "ah yes he totally has all the faculties to mea everything he is saying, guess there is nothing I can do but fuck off like he told us too" Like?? This is so not serious 😭😭

Jean himself says that they "would give Harry a few days to pull himself together". His whole plan was to just leave Harry until he cools off, wear a wig and sunglasses to cheer him up and hopefully things would just return to normal. Too bad Jean underestimated the severity of Harry's anguished mental state and that leaving him alone during his lowest moment would have irreversible consequences

Basically my point is that while Jean cares about Harry, he doesnt have much respect towards his authority. Not anymore at least

The time when Jean *is* deferring to someone's authority actually seems to be with Kim (at least by the time of the tribunal).

Like in the Whirling Jean pretty much just ignored Kim and did not acknowledge him in any meaningful way. what a dick honestly

But then suddenly during the tribunal he immediately changes his tune with yes lieutenant Kitsuragi 🥺🥺, of course lieutenant Kitsuragi 🤧🤧 , we would be honored to have you Lieutenant Kitsuragi 😤😤Like boy you sure have changed your tune fast when you realized that Kim is a rather important and competent cop huh. really trying to be in Kim's good graces now lol

anyway what I was going with it. Somethig somwthign capitalism something something ableism something something proving your worth to a conditional system that doesnt care about you

a very interesting (and endearing, at least to me) detail about jean's character is how he tends to fix himself during a confrontation. (long post ahead)

despite the fact he looks just fine, he does it to self-soothe more than anything, because he knows he has no control over the situation. so if he can't get through harry, at least he's in control of how he looks. and he can look BETTER, more put together than harry, so he makes sure to show him that. every time.

constantly readjusting, correcting, dusting himself off every time he's confronting his former partner because i think he has a severe inferiority complex (since harry outranks him and refuses to accept any promotion, which makes jean perpetually stuck as a satellite-officer, tied to a self-destructive man who's also good at what he does + harry has had a chance at a love that's so redeeming that he pictures her as the game's equivalent of God, a love that jean desperately yearns for so he hates harry for blowing it, and hates himself for never finding such a love despite the fact he's more put together than harry, or so he claims) that flares up every time harry's in the vicinity. i don't think jean has problems asserting himself when harry's not around, though. we've seen that here.

jean's perfectly capable of being authoritative, and has power over his colleagues, contrary to popular belief on this website. of course, provided harry's not there.

because he'll start slipping every time. his body language is also incredibly stiff, i'm assuming it's to seem like he's composed, but that falls apart when you notice how many times he struggles with his breathing, how many times he has to collect himself.

naturally, since kim also outranks him, jean behaves the same way with him although less emotional. he loses the spite, turns a little more submissive, though his pride doesn't completely disappear, like authority indicates. i also believe it's because kim didn't address him properly, therefore jean didn't feel the need to extend more than basic respect towards him.

it's very interesting to see, since he seems to have this ongoing inner conflict between his pride and his self-hatred. believing he's better than harry, yet crumbling at his presence. laying down and taking it, then suddenly revolting. being in control until the reason you're forced to take control shows up, then suddenly you're not in control anymore and you have to fix your hair and your tie and dust your suit and cough to look like you have your shit together. to prove that you're better. jean's trying to tell harry that he's BETTER than him! that's why he does all of that shit! he's terrified of ending up like that! he's even more terrified of the fact that despite being the mess he is, harry IS better than him! HELLO!