#I didn't necessarily needed them to end up romantically together and I wasn't expecting it

[darkrunsout]

Why is it that every time I'm looking forward to a new season of a show (which rarely happens in the first place these days), they manage to completely fuck it up in a way that I don't even want to watch the new season anymore?

[sageandred]

Some minor things I'm thinking about/predictions for season 3~

-some more (pretty unedited) things I think could happen + predictions I don't necessarily hope to happen; + talking out some frustrations I personally had (if u don't want to read anything partially negative)

Missy & Amerie friendship. It would be good to expand to some less visited friendships. We got a hint of Amerie & Missy once again and I could see them talking even more nxt szn.

Sasha and Quinni are going to be working together nxt szn, and I can already see how the writers might try to rekindle something, but I don't want that, obviously. I could see them making Sasha develop feelings again only for Quinni to turn her down or it could be an opportunity for Sasha to actually apologize after some reflection as they continue to go their separate ways romantically.

Ant has to find out Harper also made the map, right? (that's the direction it's heading in??)

I don't care either way, but if Rowan wasn't just a 1 season and done type of character, I could see them trying to explore a mental health storyline, and separate from that make him more likeable/building friendships with anyone but Amerie.

Critiques of the Season/What I Hope Going Forward

They really missed some opportunities with Harper. It's totally valid for 2 childhood besties to grow apart in some ways and come back with an even greater and more mature connection. Instead, they just had Darren and Quinni adopt her into the group when I wish they would've spent a season of her developing her own friendships and building up her relationships that will be beneficial going forward.

which brings me to my points: I want Harper and Amerie to spend some time apart next season. I don't want it to be dramatic and I don't want them to have a fallout. They can actually be friends without being attached at the hip, but I don't want the s1 trio to be disrupted when I think that relationship is very special (sorry if this sounds harsh), and feels more organic than Harper's outside of the one that's developing with Cash.

Speaking of relationships: Ant & Harper feels underdeveloped to me. They could be a great couple. I wish they spent more time this season giving them individual arcs, but I think next season they kind of need to go through something dramatic to have the kind of break-through I'm wanting from their characters. They're kind of boring to me rn (I'm so sorry Harthony fans). They could end up together or not; I'm just not sold on their story yet.

New couples-I like the development stage of new couples/couples you don't expect. Give Quinni a gf, ofc. Switch up some of the dynamics. Relationships can be a means to another end, and it doesn't have to = the previous being bad. I don't want a love triangle, though; let them grow without the drama.

They could show the journey of Missy dealing with a toxic man, or they could show Spider/Missy grow together (I really don't care); I just want development for both of them individually and their own separate arcs regardless (especially Missy-he did have his own large arc this season). I actually think it would be cool to show the slow effects of how things add up and trauma causing some unhealthy behaviors with Spider (it doesn't have to make him bad; he's like 18 and anyone could grow from a failed high school relationship/become a really great person, but I just don't feel awe when I see their scenes...personally).

I didn't add this point with them on my other post, but I kind of want Darren and Cash to each have new romances/flings. I know there is love there, but I think they need to find themselves independent of one another. Their relationship very much feels like they grew up together and prematurely decided they belong together what with Cash's long secret crush (which is fine, but..); it is absolutely cute, though their incompatibility and continuous communication problems need to be explored/they need to mature.

[apatheticlexicographer]

i'm about to get mauled ALIVE for saying this but here goes:

i think m'leven's relationship should be based on a mutually requited crush. both the implications it would have on their personal development as characters and the message it would send to the audience would be substantially more impactful, healthy, and progressive than if they only dated out of obligation. in fact, the thematic message of their relationship SIMPLY DOESN'T MAKE SENSE without a foundation of genuine romantic attraction.

still with me??? okay, good.

when shows deal with romance they tend to fall into the categories of either having pretty much every character shipped with every other character at some point, or of having the endgame ships be the most obviously pushed from the start. byler has definitely been built up from the start, but the majority of the show's audience didn't consider it as an option for canon until s4, when they started making it blatant. hell, a lot of people didn't even realize WILL was queer until s3 (again, when the show started to place heavy emphasis on it), and even then a lot of people thought he might be ace rather than gay.

mike and el, on the other hand, were practically the show's flagship couple for the first 2 seasons at least. it wasn't until s3 that their popularity started to dip and their relationship began to receive a lot more criticism. which makes sense, considering they hadn't actually been IN said relationship in the previous seasons. they had a couple of romantic interactions, sure, but we didn't see how they would interact *as a couple*. people obviously couldn't predict how their dynamic would actually pan out!!! that isn't to say that the negative aspects of their relationship were a bait-and switch, though: red flags were visible since at least s2, but they were far from being the focal point and a lot of shippers interpreted them as being cute (like el's jealousy over max).

having a show acknowledge the fact that the first person you get a crush on (because correct me if i'm wrong, but i'm pretty sure they're canonically each other's first crush???) isn't necessarily your ~soulmate~ is a great thing. even better when they go a step further, and play with the concept!!! the text of stranger things doesn't actually push m'leven as a paragon of romantic love. if you listen to what the other characters say about their (romantic) relationship, their opinions are entirely neutral/negative???

lucas teases mike about his crush in s1, but calls him hopeless in s3. hopper is out of line with how agressively he acts about their relationship, but the resolution of that character arc for him is about him acknowledging that he's been overbearing and accepting that he needs to let el grow up, and NOT some hammy realization that "what they have is true love, i was wrong to interfere!!!" max thinks their clinginess is sweet at first in s3, but she isn't very close with either of them. once she and el start to bond AND SHE LEARNS THAT EL HAS NO EXPERIENCE WITH ROMANTIC ATTRACTION OUTSIDE OF MIKE she encourages el to assert her own self-worth and dump him. [which... actually mirrors the progression of opinions in a lot of audience members??? 🤔🤔]

and those are just a few examples!!! i won't go on an exhaustive list, because honestly we'd be here all day.

furthermore, m'leven's steady downward trajectory is not the only instance of the show basically dunking on the trite expectation that a character's first love interest is automatically their happily-ever-after, AND the recurring motif that any relationships a character explores before their endgame ship are wrong because the alternate love interest is Bad.

dustin has his first crush (onscreen, anyway) on max in s2, but ends the season happy despite his sadness over rejection and later gets together with a girl who's basically his perfect match. in s3, robin confides to steve about how she was so far gone for tammy that she would cry into her pillow. in s4 she's able to laugh over just how bad her singing is without denying it, and is tentatively flirting with vickie. joyce was genuinely really happy with bob, but after having time to heal from the tragedy of what happened to him she's ready to move on with hopper.

again, not an exhaustive list. why??? because outside of m'leven, the only relationships where the characters ARE each other's first love interest are: lumax, whose entire arc together is about growing up as a couple (you know, the exact arc m'leven shippers pin on mike and el, as if it would make sense for 2 couples to have the same format and message...); stancy, which is only one prong of Love Triangle Hell and the controversy around it speaks for itself; and TED AND KAREN. WHO ARE POINTED OUT EXPLICITLY BY THE TEXT OF THE SHOW IN S1 NO LESS, TO BE AN EXAMPLE OF A WORST TIMELINE FUTURE THAT CHARACTERS DO NOT WANT TO REPEAT.

but if you're reading this, you already know all of that.

the point i'm trying to make is that stranger things shows a consistent palette of themes across all the relationships it portrays. i've obviously been going over the romantic ones, but this applies at least as much to the plationic bonds as well. those themes are of GROWING AND MATURING, of SHIFTING DYNAMICS, and of BECOMING SECURE IN YOUR PERSONAL INDEPENDENCE.

i'm sorry but to present a pair of characters with apparent mutual feelings; to elaborate on how dysfunctional their relationship is; and to ultimately reveal to the audience that actually they were both just confused, they never had feelings for one another in the first place and that's why their relationship didn't work out; sends an extremely mediocre message, to put it nicely. all the characters learn from that lived experience is "don't date people you don't have feelings for, and if you were unsure about how real those feelings were... get good???" meanwhile, all the audience learns from that VIEWED experience is "if the relationship doesn't work, it's because the people involved don't like each other enough." if byler goes on to be canon and is immediately much healthier, that only enforces that shitty message. in that situation the only reason THEIR relationship works while mike and el's didn't is that they actually have feelings for one another!!!

from a show which has explored complex arcs and messages with *LITERALLY EVERY OTHER RELATIONSHIP* they touch on, this would be beyond disappointing. particularly as the central message for the arc of 2 of the mainest main characters in the whole show!!!

on the other hand, to present a pair of young characters at the start of the show and flag them as having an obvious mutual crush; to allow them to explore that crush as a serious prospect; to have them realize that their relationship is dysfunctional; and to have them move on as friends; sends???

a great???

fucking???

message???

they both get to progress and move on as more enriched people than they would have been without their time in a relationship, and that is fucking wonderful.

el has a deeper understanding of romantic interactions based on actual lived experience and not just TV shows. she's able to develop into her fledgeling sense of identity more securely with the knowledge that relationships can change, and that's okay. not everything has to be forever.

mike understands how to process and manage his own feelings much better, and is equipped with a firsthand understanding of how a relationship can become emotionally dysfunctional without proper communication, making him ready to enter a new, healthier relationship. he has displayed the same overprotective behaviours towards will as he has to el, but he's begun to learn how to manage them so that he doesn't stifle his partner. after previously failing to communicate his feelings to both el and will in s3 when he fought with them, he's been making a deliberate point of doing so in s4. this didn't work with el when he tried to open up about his own experience with bullying, but it DID work with will when he admitted to his failings in balancing relationships.

are either of them finished in their personal arcs??? no, of course not!!! they're not even fifteen!!! but they have both grown as people, not in spite of their romantic relationship, but BECAUSE of it. you don't change as you grow up, so much as you start to understand yourself better. but self-discovery and subsequent self-acceptance CANNOT come without self-explaration.

it's okay to try things out, and it's okay if they don't end up being right for you.

meanwhile, the broader message about relationships that this imparts on the audience is an extremely important one. one which gets overlooked continually by storytellers in every industry. one which the show itself has brushed on, but not explored in depth.

one which fandom, in particular, likes to ignore.

ATTRACTION ≠ COMPATIBILITY

(...and that's okay!!!)

[maochira]

800 follower event: Day 6 (Tabito Karasu x reader)

"Only in the streets of yesterday, I think you can still be heard mocking lovers."

Day 5 (Yukimiya x reader) - event list

Tags: gn!reader x Karasu, best friends to lovers, use of a few swear words, the event is over tomorrow already??

You and Karasu used to be part of a bigger friend group, but slowly all your other friends drifted apart from you after getting into serious relationships until at some point, only the two of you were left. Because of that, you and Karasu used to spend a lot of time mocking them for falling so deeply in love with someone. To you, it always seemed ridiculous and childish. Because who needs love when you can have a friendship as great as this? Who would need some sappy lovey-dovey shit when you have the time of your life with your best friend?

Mocking the friends who found more joy in their romantic relationships rather than in your friend group turned into mocking any couple you saw anywhere, no matter if you walked past one or if a character in a movie you watched together fell in love with someone - the jokes you made were seemingly endless.

But at some point, you started craving the things you and Karasu were making fun of all the time. It wasn't necessarily the super romantic stuff, but mostly you craved being loved like this by someone. That someone happened to be Karasu in your case.

For months, it was a struggle for you to genuinely recognize these feelings and then you had the struggle of talking to Karasu about it. There was always this fear in the back of your head about destroying your friendship or him just laughing at you as soon as you'd confess your feelings to him. That's why you decided to keep silent and wait for the day when your romantic feelings would fade.

But when Karasu's jokes kept getting harsher and harsher, they only ended up hurting your feelings until you couldn't keep it in anymore. "Stop making fun of love when I feel like this about you!" Was what you yelled so he'd stop joking about the couple you just walked by. It was on impulse without much thought, so you regretted it the moment the last word left your mouth. Karasu was completely caught off guard because he would have never expected a confession in a moment like this, but even less would he have expected a confession from you.

After that, everything between you and Karasu was a bit of an emotional roller coaster. You were afraid of destroying the friendship and Karasu was unsure if he wanted to be in a romantic relationship with you. For days, you didn't talk to each other and you were almost certain everything was over.

But while Karasu spent more time on his own instead of hanging out at your place like he usually did almost every day, he realized how he liked you in the same way. His jokes becoming harsher was more of a coping mechanism because he never expected you to like him in this way. He actually always thought you'd fall for someone else one day and leave him behind like all our other friends did. Maybe he always tried to use his jokes as a way to prevent you from falling in love with anyone. But despite that, you obviously ended up falling for each other.

Karasu felt bad for the way he ended up hurting you with his jokes, so he wanted to make it up to you. One day, he randomly showed up in front of your house and instead of ringing the doorbell like any other normal person would do, he kept throwing something at your window. You didn't properly recognize what it was until you looked outside to see him with a bouquet of flowers in his hands. As soon as you opened the window, he threw the item again and you almost didn't catch it. It was a cute crow plushie. When you looked back outside, Karasu confessed his love to you, and he yelled it so loud you were sure half of your neighbourhood heard it. But that's exactly what he wanted: Everyone should know how much he loves you.

And that's pretty much how you started dating. The beginning was a bit cliche and a bit out of character for the two of you because it was just too cute, considering the way you usually acted around each other. But you quickly fell back into that, just the romantic love got added on top. You and Karasu are still best friends, but you're partners as well - and you know you'd never leave the other for anyone else.

[roamwithahungryheart]

Ted Lasso 3x12 - An Honest Review

I completely understand the amount of dissatisfaction with the finale. I had my own reservations and admittedly didn't like a few little things about it, but it didn't ruin the episode as a whole for me.

Thinking back to when the season three trailer dropped, they warned us about what to expect with the song choice - you can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you find you get what you need.

We might not have all got what we wanted, but the characters we've loved for three years got what they needed. Not necessarily forever, but for now.

Nate came back to Richmond and patched things up with Ted. Roy finally started therapy. Keeley chose herself. Sam got to play for the Nigerian team. Jamie worked through his issues with self-confidence. Rebecca got her little moment of gezellig. Ted got to make up for lost time with his son.

The key thing to keep in mind here is that this is what the characters needed in that moment. And at this point in time, we don't know whether this is truly the end for Ted Lasso. There's enough wiggle room for us to potentially pick up where the finale left off sometime in the future. There are things left unsaid, moments left unseen, that have the potential to be explored further down the line. If we don't get that, then at least we got to witness a bittersweet ending for a beloved show.

Now, it wouldn't truly be a trademark Lauren Review™ without me finding at least one parallel between Ted Lasso and the work of David Lynch - so here it is.

The mixed reactions to the pacing of the show and the direction of certain storylines reminded me of the reaction to Twin Peaks season two, when David Lynch left to pursue other projects and Mark Frost handled the show all by himself. In the case of Ted Lasso, Bill Lawrence wasn't present for all of it, which is where some of the perceived problems come in. On top of that, the longer episodes made it more of a struggle for some people to engage with the show (which is true in both cases).

In the second season of Twin Peaks, in what was perhaps the first big 'shipping war' of modern television, Audrey & Cooper didn't get the happy ending the fans wanted (although their relationship would have been problematic if it had become a romantic pairing) - they remained friends. Both Coop & Audrey were given last-minute love interests that arrived in Twin Peaks to sweep them off their feet and completely detach any sort of meaning from their connection. Annie Blackburn was a cardboard cut-out of a woman who fit everything Coop needed at the time. John Justice Wheeler was Audrey's rich, preppy Mills & Boone hero with a private jet to whisk her away on any adventure she desired. One could argue that in the third and final season of Ted Lasso, Michelle was Ted's Annie, and Matthjis was Rebecca's John Justice Wheeler. The difference is, Audrey didn't get on the plane. She knew that whatever was waiting for her with JJW was too good to be true. That leaves us to wonder, what if Ted hadn't stayed on the plane? What if Rebecca's relationship with the flying Dutchman didn't develop? Where would it leave them?

The cast have waxed poetic about the beauty of platonic love and the concept of soulmates and cosmic connections, but for a show that lived by the rules of rom-com royalty Nora Ephron, there was no romantic payoff for any of its main pairings. That's not to say platonic soulmates can't be as meaningful and important as romantic soulmates - they absolutely can - but for all the expectations they subverted, choosing to duck out of putting the show's leads together by opening the episode with a fake-out, after all the groundwork they built for them, felt like kind of a cheap shot. I will admit, though, it was kind of funny. And let's be honest, they gave the TedBecca gang a few crumbs to work with in future fanfics. We have to at least be thankful for that.

As a qualified screenwriter, do I feel this episode - and the season as a whole - hit all the right marks? No. But it wasn't a complete disaster either. Sometimes jokes didn't land. Sometimes a scene really was too long. But it was long enough for them to tell the story they wanted to tell.

I think one of the main reasons there was trouble in terms of giving the story enough space to be told was that we're living in the generation of binge-watching and streaming. The Ted Lasso writers are old school. They've been playing the long game within a short format, and only managed to break out of that restrictive mold in the third and final season.

Do I wish Apple had pulled a Showtime and extended Ted Lasso season three for eighteen episodes instead of twelve? Yes. I think it would have given them just enough space to tie up a few loose ends. But at the moment, we don't know if this is truly the end - there's a chance we might get to see how things turn out. I know, it's the hope that kills you, but I'm still going to hold on to that hope. Because that's what rom-communism teaches you - there's always hope in despair.

[vizthedatum]

Just had an intense therapy session (it was great).

--

Insight about relationship anarchy (RA) and me sometimes being "purist" with my thoughts on it all:

I *am* poly by orientation - and for me, queerness and RA means that I don't need to conform to society's expectations of what a relationship is or what it means to me. Especially if that relationship is not just friendship. (I will just be talking about romantic-type relationships in this post.) (Ugh, even assigning a "type" to relationships makes me feel weird)

Being RA doesn't mean that I ignore my own needs, even if my own needs don't necessarily fit into my paradigm of what love *should* be or what RA *should* be.

It also doesn't mean that I try to conform to what *cue neurodivergent expectations of what patterns I've picked up OR what I think would help the people around me while ignoring what I need/want* I think I should do.

Maybe I can literally do RA the way I want to - even if it means that... I don't date unless I feel that magical feeling of love and alignment (with life goals... but also *that feeling that I would go to the ends of the Earth with you, in any circumstance (unless you abuse me) - that I would transcend time with you - I want to see you thrive/flourish/grow while I grow beside you*).

I think I've gathered a lot of information on how to sustain relationships and be loving.

"Love" still confounds me because... well, for me at least, "love" is random and terrifying. The people I've fallen head over heels, madly in love with... there was no rhyme or reason - it was that spark, that vibe. I have fallen in love with people without even trying. I have fallen in love with people when it was deeply inconvenient in my life to do so.

Love isn't about control, and sustaining loving relationships isn't about that either.

The only people I'm in love with currently... well, it's just me. (I know I'm still grieving and moving on from a past person/situation - the situation is over, and we are both different people now, presumably... but I fell in love with them in the past, and I didn't mean to. I felt that spark. I felt the magic. I felt the randomness. I felt that pull. (I freaked out almost the entire time. I should have saved my own heart and tried to gracefully end things, but I didn't. I don't regret the love, I suppose. It wasn't what I had envisioned, and I didn't want to chase that feeling. I don't. But I need to remember that falling in love is outside of my control.))

I don't need to have a reason to not want to date someone or be in a friendship/relationship with someone if I'm not feeling it. (The "it" that is the love I seek... CONFOUNDS me. It doesn't compute - yet it's what I want)

I yearn to feel that way again with someone. I don't want to "logic" myself into a relationship with someone I feel like I *should* be in love with (I think that's what was tripping me up). I love many people, but romantically, I think it's different. Even sexually these days, it feels different. (And I'm only just processing all of this now in my thirties, sigh. Being trans has a lot to do with this, I think)

So hmm, where am I at currently? Here it is:

I don't *love* any of my exes. I have love for many of them - the ones who are my friends - I will tell them I love them. But I am not in love with them in this significant romantic way. I don't feel that *love* (I hate that I'm characterizing this love but here I am. And I feel good about it too, ugh.).

I don't have anyone in my life right now who would want to work towards my own personal relationship/life goals with me: nesting and having a baby together; long-term companionship; autonomous but comingled living.

I do love myself, and I'm working on understanding that relationship to myself EVERY DAY.

My heart is open, but I cannot love, date, or commit to anyone unless I have already fallen in love with them AND I feel that love that's beyond love (as mentioned above) AND I am not going to be madly in grief about how they fit into my life within my life goals. I have decided that if you date me, you automatically date me AND my current/future children - full stop - if I become a parent and we're in a significant *love* relationship, you are signing up to be a co-parent even if you're not the biological parent (even if you didn't intend to be a parent, even if there are multiple people involved, etc.). I can't back down from that, and I am going to be a parent as soon as I financially, logistically, and physically can be.

[apoptoses]

2 & 11 for when half won't do, 7 for something so trivial, 3 is for I'll be your operator?

What’s my favorite part of the fic?

(When Half Won't Do, Armand/Daniel, E)

The whole argument where Daniel finally figures out that Armand's concept of home is different from his. Because there's a couple things going on, one of them being that Armand has never 'messed up' and had someone handle his mistake in a mostly loving way. And the other being Daniel finally realizing what a cultural gap they have between them and just accepting that Armand isn't necessarily going to see the world the same way he does. He's fallen so into the idea of Armand as a lover that he's forgotten that he's 500 years old and once that clicks all the anger goes out of him.

I just think it represents what their romantic relationship can be like when times are good, that they really do work together.

Also, I loved Armand spitting blood into Daniel's mouth haha that idea came upon me as an intrusive thought while I was in the car and I still think about it sometimes. It's hot, it needs to happen in fic more often!

If I were to rewrite this fic, what would I change?

(Something So Trivial, Daniel/Armand, E)

I don't know that I'd change anything, really! I think it all happened exactly as I'd intended it to. I guess it would have been nice for Daniel had Armand gotten him a Valentine's gift as well haha But Armand really wasn't expecting anything himself, Daniel totally caught him by surprise when he got more than just the underwear.

So if anything I'd have to do a follow up showing what Armand gives Daniel next Valetine's Day to make up for slacking this time around.

Were there any major decisions I made about the fic that could have made it go a whole different direction?

Oh man I originally had Daniel much, much more reluctant and his embarrassment coming out in a kind of irritable way. I find that happens when I write from his POV. I have to do the draft where he's just not having it and then go back and figure out at what moment might he get over the hill of shame and just accept that Armand knows he wants whatever they're doing so he might as well lean into it.

He was crabby enough that he just wouldn't go get the bag from the closet and I knew at that point something was off, so I had to go back and soften him up. At the end of the day it's always important that he's a willing victim in these scenarios.

What’s the part of the fic I’m most proud of?

(I'll Be Your Operator, Armand/Daniel, E)

There's two parts:

First is the church scene. I had written the whole Copley bit and it didn't feel right, there wasn't enough build up. So I thought and thought and thought and finally got a conversation in my head where Daniel and Armand discuss the topic of confession.

And I thought that was a great thread to weave through the whole thing, because Armand isn't confessing to himself that he's interested in this guy as more than a victim to harass. And I also just really liked Daniel's secret, that he's the type of person to go through with an excruciating experience because he's curious about the reward at the end. It sets up who he is in all of my works.

And then I'm also proud of the whole feeding scene. I worked really hard on building tension and the 'will they or won't they' feeling. I knew it had to be a slow escalation of Armand ordering his food, then telling him what to eat, then putting bites on his plate. Every aspect of dominating someone via food had to be explored before Daniel would give in and eat from his fork.

Which was terrifying! It felt weird, I thought people would find the obsessing over food strange and not be into the feeding kink but happily everyone seems to have enjoyed it. So I'm proud that I wrote it and proud that I got over myself and posted it.

[mayasdeluca]

I feel like the only thing maya and jack had in common is that they had trauma and sex was a distraction for them. However I think jack used it as a way to find a connection with someone as he didnt have that much growing up and maya being raised in a tough environment where she was always supposed to be perfect and focused and be on high alert in her house as her dad could lash out at any moment so I figured she treated herself with sex as a way to relax and unwind for a bit.

Thing abt jack is that he always goes for the most emotionally unavailable women possible which he knows getting with would cause trouble for other people but does it anyway then takes no accountability or plays victim. There is billions of girls out there who would want the same thing as him that's what dating apps are for lol.

Maya I think is a little more complicated as she really does care about people but growing up she was never allowed to have friends it was always just focus on the goal and get there no matter what the cost so I think for her it's a nice stress relief for her but she also always needed to be in control and alot of anxiety was caused when she felt out of control for a variety of reasons so I think maya at first would've been scared to delve into that especially as she was also conflicted about her sexuality and I'm sure it wasnt easy to come to terms with when she has a father like hers but I suppose she was late 20s when st19 started so ig she had herself quite figured out by then

Yes I agree. Which is why I wasn't necessarily surprised that they went there with them in Season 2 considering what kind of mindset both characters were in, it kind of made sense. The no strings attached physical connection and banter they had made it predictable. But I still don't think it was necessary when you consider the Andy factor (which I think it the main reason they did it which makes it even worse) and the drama it caused for Andy and Maya and how Maya ended up being the bad guy once again and Jack is never held accountable. Meanwhile Andy was all over the place when it came to Jack and Ryan, going back and forth and toying with Ryan especially and somehow that was okay.

And this whole idea that it would've ended up being more than sex for either Jack or Maya...I don't see it. I mean with Jack maybe because he's always attaching himself to people like you said and most of the time they are already with someone else or emotionally unavailable for him or don't feel the same way he does and then he gets all mad and plays victim because he just expects it to be mutual. But I just never saw Maya feeling anything more for him and especially at that point in her life where she was still so career driven and sex was just something she did for 'self care' and distraction purposes. It's pretty clear that feelings and emotions in a romantic sense didn't become more real for Maya until Carina came into the picture.

Though I do think (and don't like to think about this) if Krista didn't intervene they probably would have Maya and Jack realize they did have real feelings for one another and even if Maya broke up with him initially still because of the Captain thing, they probably would have had them get back together and have Maya admit she did actually like Jack in that way because it seemed like Stacey (the showrunner before Krista) did like them together and probably would have had them as one of the main ships as the show if Carina wasn't brought in. So thank god that didn't happen because yikes. They already had Andy and Sullivan's nonsense and they would've probably just done something similar with Maya and Jack.

[im-a-gaymess]

How do I tell him?

Young!Tom Riddle x Male Reader.

7th Year.

Angsty Fluff? Contains suggestive/smut scenes.

Slight mention of violence (Just Tom wanting to punch the stupid out of people).

Summary: You and Tom are in love with each other, always were, though you only realize it after ending a pretty toxic relationship.

Word Count: 1786

A/N: I thought of this while listening to Strawberries & Cigarettes thought I'd share

[1:42 AM]

"Look, I'm not saying that I want their attention 24/7, it's just that, well, they don't ever try to make time for me. Even when I need them, they're never here. But I'm expected to be there for them at all times. I'm just so tired of it. I don't know what to do anymore." You sighed, lowering your head as your eyes wander around the ground.

You've lost sense of time, place even. Only once you stopped to take a breath did you note how late it became. As you raised your head you saw how dark it really was there. The clouds over the stars making their light nearly non existent, and the moon half hidden behind some trees.

And as your eyes travel all over the quiet, dark yet beautiful sky, Tom's attention is strictly fixed on you.

If only you knew how much that man felt at the moment. Really, he was almost overwhelmed with the amount of different emotions.

For one, how badly he wanted to punch your partner for how deeply they hurt you. He knew, from your previous vents, that there was so much more than them just having no time that bothered you. He wanted to make them cry out apologies with regret guilt for how they made you feel.

But also, he couldn't help but feel the need to hold you, keep you close to him, tell you how everything's going to be alright. How all he wants to do is protect you from all of the world's evil, to keep you from anything that could cause you harm.

Without you even noticing, Tom gently put his hand over yours, rubbing circles with his thumb on your hand. How can someone be so,, so endearing,, so loveable and be treated this way? How could someone ever look at him and want to use him? he thought, not brave enough to bring himself to tell you what he truly thinks of you.

"You know you deserve better, right, my love?" he asked, and you, all too familiar with the pet name reply with a little smile. "Would you be surprised if I said yes?" you chuckled, turning to face him, the sight of the boy in front of you making your smile grow a little bigger, causing the other to look at you with loving eyes.

"I still love them, though, I don't even know why, but I do. I still hope they're going to change, even when I know they won't" you continued, a short, awkward laugh leaving your lips.

"Believe me, sweetheart, I know exactly how that feels." he smiled at you, gently stroking your face with his free hand as the two of you continued to talk about everything, and anything, enjoying the company you gave each other.

[Following day, 4:27 PM]

Who knew that drawing in the library's restricted section would be so relaxing? Sketching animals, book covers, objects and even some random fellow housemates. It wasn't so bad, right?

But let's be honest, you were only using it as a means of distraction, trying to get yourself to forget about the fact that you're going to break up with your s/o. You don't even know how Tom managed to convince you.

Of course, it's for the best, you know that. Doesn't change the fact that you feel so damn guilty about it. I mean, why do you even? It's not like they value you, it's not like they won't have other people lined up to take their bullshit right the moment you decide to leave.

Okay, that's it. You're doing it, you're definitely doing it. You mumbled to yourself. After, of course, another art session in your little distraction place.

[5:54 PM]

What's the worst that can happen if I confess? I mean, it's not like the world would end, not like the world would explode and I'd be buried underneath layers of rock and lava.

You had him feeling something he's never even imagined he'd feel; he was nervous. His forehead full of sweat, causing his hair to stick on to him. What are you putting him through?

Friendship...That's all I am to him. I'm just a friend to [Y/N]. He only sees me as a friend. Nothing more than that. Maybe I shouldn't. I probably shouldn't.

[6:11 PM]

To his surprise, Tom heard a knock on his door. He most definitely wasn't in the mood to see, yet even talk to anyone.

"Tommy? My love, are you in there?" You questioned quite loudly, making sure to be heard from across the wall.

That petname, you have no idea what it made him want to do. Did he want to have you underneath him, touch every little bit of your body? Did he want to show you that you're his? Hear you whine and beg for him to kiss you; and so, so much more than you could imagine.

It's not the time to get lost in such sinister thoughts, Tom, he mumbled to himself, finally walking over the room to let you in.

"Hello, darli―" before he could finish, you rushed into his arms. Wrapping your hands around your friend's waist as your head rested under his own. "I missed you all day, dummie" you spoke quietly, finally happy to spend time with him.

He was quite surprised to say the least, you weren't the type to enjoy going for any type of physical affection of any type, unless it was under certain circumstances. Especially the hug being so long.

He wasn't complaining, he adored it, but he couldn't help but worry. Was something wrong? Were you hurt?

"Love, as much as I enjoy moments like this, is there anything you need to tell me? Should I kick anyone's arse?" he raised his brow, looking down at you.

You shook your head, never letting go of the taller man, a smile appearing on your face. How cute he is when he's worried, you thought.

That's pretty much how the rest of the day night went. The two of you in each other's embrace, spending it in utter silence, just glad to be in your own little world together.

You told him, before going back to your dorm, about how you finally broke up with that douchebag, and was your man proud.

The couple next days, weeks even, went by quickly. You and Tom would hang by the library after classes to complete and give help with what the other might have been stuck on.

Tom walks towards you, so dangerously close, you can practically feel his lips on yours. A hand's glued on the wall next to you, right above your head. Your body pressed against a door, his knee right in between your legs, brushing against your crotch. His other hand pulling you closer by your waist, soon planting kisses all over your jaw and neck. You can't help but melt into his touch, his lips- you just want more, more of him.

You gasp, practically jumping up your bed. It was only a dream, wasn't it you thought, sighed in slight disappointment. You wouldn't like to admit it to yourself, but you've been thinking about Tom in a certain way lately.

That only made things worse for you. Because according to you, he would never see you that way. Because the way you saw it, Tom only ever thought of you as a friend.

And so thought he. He was just as disappointed every time he'd dream of the two of you being intimate, romantically, sexually, it didn't matter. He was just as devastated when he woke up. Always went back to sleep hoping those wonderful dreams would go on.

Both of you had a few dreams like those. Some were a whole lot sweeter. Dates together, just the two of you softly making out with the sound of classical music in the background. All of this causing the two of you a bittersweet feeling, thinking that all of this was just hopeless dreams, impossible to come true.

════════════════════

Starry night, you and him, the lake, the full moon shining bright. There's nothing that could ruin this delightful night. It feels like a dream, so much that you even question the reality of what's going on.

"Is this...real?" you ask Tom, not taking your eyes off the sky you so dearly loved. He raised a brow at you, looking at you in a clearly confused expression.

"If it wasn't, we'd be doing more than just stargazing, love" he chuckled, really hoping you'd take it as a joke.

"What would we be doing then, darling?" you question once again, mocking the way he calls you petnames while at it, a visibly evil smile painted on your face.

Tom takes his bottom lip in between his teeth, turning to face his pretty boy. "Do you really want to know, [Y/N]?"

The usage of your name kind of, just a little bit, frightened you. Not in a necessarily bad way, more like in a 'I have no idea what to expect next' way.

"What would you do if I kissed you?" he smirked at you, feeling oddly confident, though your silence and shocked face slowly faded. He was about to mutter apologies 'till you let out a mumble. "I'd like that" you said, your voice barely above a whisper.

"What was that, my prince? Would you kindly repeat that for me?" he told you with a straight face, making you wonder if he truly didn't hear you. If only you knew the amount of pride he felt at that moment, barely four words and his mind wandering to so, so many things he knew the both of you would like.

The shade of your cheeks changed a bit, was it from embarrassment? Or from the idea that he may actually like you back. Either way, you did repeat what you had told him, blushing even harder as there was an ever-growing smile on your face.

Soon enough, Tom sat up, leaned against a tree nearby. Motioning on his lap, he asked you to sit there, and happily you did.

You've never seen him smile like that. He looked at you like you're the only person in the world. His hands firmly on your cheeks, slowly pulling you in.

Your arms instinctively went around his neck, tilting your head to the side in order to deepen the kiss.

Once you pulled away to take a breath, his hands rested on your lower waist, his eyes staring at you lovingly as they always did.

"You know I'm no good with words." you looked at him exactly the way he was looking at you; you were truly each other's everything. "I know, my prince" his hand wandered around his loverboy's hair, soon pulling him in yet another kiss.

He knew he loved you, and now he was sure you loved him too. Only thing is, he wasn't sure how to ask you to take over the world with him, but for now, he was happy with what you had, and so were you.

[jalebi-weds-bluetooth]

Hi Dear Jalebi, I demand your analysis :)   What are your thoughts on IPKKND might have some typical track if the audience, TRP, actors departure didn't influence it otherwise? Let me explain, IPKKND was supposed to have a longer office track (that wasn't common though, I would've loved it) but the TRP was low, so Shantivan track was introduced. Then, I read that, Sana Maqbul (Lavanya) wanted to quit IPKKND, that's why the quick breakup???

Is that why they didn't give us the COMMON AF *jealousy and hero's ex GF turns villain* track? Then again, Anjali was jealous and sad about Khushi after the first reveal of Shyam, and it looked like track about Didi Ki Saut was beginning. But again ratings dropped and the fandom didn't react well (kinda protested), Anjali quickly stopped showing jealousy and Dadi was introduced to give ArShi a common saas-bahu vibe.

Hello Dear Analysis Anon!

I am going to over answer this with a lot of detail because I have a lot of thoughts, as always! Time to get into my thinking cape/coat:

This analysis is going to cover:

(1) every example you just mentioned,

(2) my thoughts on external things affecting plot of the story,

(3) things/plots/ tracks that could've been if not for external factors

Examples

1) IPKKND was supposed to have a longer office track (that wasn't common though, I would've loved it) but the TRP was low, so Shantivan track was introduced

As far as I can remember from one of the writers' interviews, the office track was cut short because this was a show on Star Plus - which, as a channel, caters to 'family audience' therefore needs to have sanskaar and stuff at its core. Hence the rude shortening of the office track and weird 'makeover' and 'desi-dying' Lavanya. And hence we had a very weird four months of an eighteen-twenty years old Khushi teaching someone about sanskaars and suddenly knowing everything about a household when Bua-ji or even Payal would've been a more apt choice for this 'tutoring'.

If this was a Star One show, they might've not shifted out of the office for the longest time!

2) Sana Maqbul (Lavanya) wanted to quit IPKKND, that's why the quick breakup??? Is that why they didn't give us the COMMON AF *jealousy and hero's ex GF turns villain* track?

I did not know that's why the quick end happened. Honestly that happened perfectly. I think Lavanya had an inkling about their relationship heading south right when Arnav told everyone he's getting engaged to her. But she chooses to not see it until one day she couldn't. Maybe we could've gotten more from La but if you see carefully, La clearly knows that this relationship is now just for face. Bless her heart for trying though, trying with a smile!

Also, again I think the writers never thought of making Lavanya a vamp. They had enough material with Arnav-Khushi's own differences, Shyam and Buaji playing enough roles to mess up Arnav-Khushi's love story. I probably think they always had planned Lavanya as a beautiful person who was unintentionally caught in all of this. I feel they planned La and Khushi's friendship - they clearly enjoyed writing two completely different people becoming closest of friends.

The writers/creators deserve full credit for this.

3) Then again, Anjali was jealous and sad about Khushi after the first reveal of Shyam, and it looked like track about Didi Ki Saut was beginning. But again ratings dropped and the fandom didn't react well (kinda protested), Anjali quickly stopped showing jealousy and Dadi was introduced to give ArShi a common saas-bahu vibe.

This is all true.

My Thoughts on External Things Affecting Plot

It's not necessarily bad that external things affect plot. Feedback, from channel or fans, can help the show to pivot and understand what is working and what's not. The problem is when feedback is implemented regardless whether or not it matches the theme of the plot.

I loved:

1) The channel moving out of the office because the power dynamic was too great and the contract terms were very unhealthy and Arnav Singh Raizada deserved to get sued at least 10 times by the end of this contract so yes, the shorter the office track the better. Literally the saving grace is they didn't "fall in love" there.

2) The fans protesting against Didi Ki Saut track. Not because I hated the track - I think it was executed in the worst manner! From identical visual languages to show Arnav-Anjali and Arnav-Khushi scenes (which didn't work to show Arnav being equally torn between the two most important women in his life, but just made the audience get creeped by Arnav-Anjali's relationship) and writing scenes of Anjali getting offended by Arnav-Khushi's intimacy/Arnav spending time with his wife, on her birthday, in his bedroom... did she expect Khushi would just *disappear* in a her and Arnav's bedroom? Like that was the worst way to show a compelling plot line and giving people some weird thoughts about Anjali-Arnav (which I hate because I LOVE Anjali-Arnav).

3) Barun walking out when the plot was literally done. Yes, thank you!

4) Barun going to do a movie led to the kidnapping track, which I liked a lot. No, not the nonsense of Manorama Bond fishing out Delhi's security camera footages in vintage recording system - but the fact that given the chasm and angst between Arnav & Khushi, only something bigger than their misunderstanding could force Arnav to give weight to his feelings and for Khushi to be able to forgive him. And his life was at stake. It was a sharp reminder to both of them that they lost so much by not communicating that it doesn't matter what they had to say - they loved each other, they just needed to get back and fight off everything together.

And then again, there are things I HATED that happened because of external factors:

1) The channel for the whole La becomes Desi. And the overdose of sanskaar and tradition that followed for a few months *uggggh* Clearly the channel demanded this from the plot because family, traditions and all are important to Star Plus (wtf are they thinking for Ghum Hai Kisi Ke? though or YRKKH?) And even the Aarav track and Mrs. India - two tracks with terrible execution - were very Star Plus recommended content. Just now Saath Nibhana Saathiya 2 had a Mrs. Surat/Gujarat track and Yeh Hai Chaahatein had a miracle child popping up...

2) The fans demanding Arnav & Khushi's proximity. The whole hut scene was *noooooo*. Lack of consent, body doubles, GLARING logical loopholes and them just trying to do it when one of them is really not in the mood and they were both so out of character. @phati-sari explains this really well in her post (just search for the hut to get all relevant posts on her blog)

3) Barun? Not exactly - he's never in control of the plot so really it's the writers that kinda know what to do with his presence and absence. Even if they get a short time, it's upto the creators who know if they use the last 2-3 weeks for stretching a random track as much as they can and give a rushed ending or quickly wrap up a crap track and give a satisfactory ending. A good example of this is Lavanya's exit - although rushed was dealt with grace, important conversations and memorable hugs. Bad one is the end of the show - I know Barun gave his papers but I wish they went the La way with the end of the show - important convos, teary hugs and a sweet moment (they tried their best tho...)

It's an ITV trend though to not plan for the end of a show... they stretch a crappy track as much as they can and have like a 2 min epilogue. Kasautii 2.0 was the funniest cause they had all misconceptions cleared, Komolika and Mr. Bajaj die and then have a weird 2 min pillow fight to show 'happy family'... guess in that way I'm glad we had whatever we did with IPKKND!

Possible Tracks Then

So if external factors didn't influence the show, we might have had the following:

1) A longer office track. It would end the way it did in canon though. I think it was prewritten that at one point Khushi would tear up the contract and hold him accountable for everything Arnav did. Just instead of 3-4 days it would've been 10-15 days after the contract.

2) Didi Ki Saut track. Honestly that was compelling if executed right. Sometimes you can have an antagonist without becoming a villain, Anjali the perfect character for that.

3) A separation track. I'm pretty sure Arnav-Khushi could have separated at some point in their six months marriage - this is just my inkling and not something I heard in an interview unlike the above two. If given full reign to writing, we probably would've gotten an angst heavy stuff at some point post marriage/6 months.

4) A remarriage track sans Dadi. We know why Dadi was introduced (honestly I didn't mind her, it was a track done well and kinda to redeem Arnav in front of the public eyes. It's a perfect track cause Arnav is 'nice' for standing up for her and kinda heals the wounds he caused in the first few months of the marriage by retorting someone who tells Khushi everything he told her...) But anyway I do think a remarriage was in the works, not because of TRPs but the way their whole 'marriage' was framed and how Khushi was broken because of the lack of everything in it. And they deserved one w/o the devastation that night brought.

5) The 'marriage' would've been a live in. Arnav and Khushi's elopement was supposed to be darker in nature*. Their 'marriage' would've had no religious nor legal validity, therefore a stark contradiction to everything Khushi stood for... but you can't have that in ITV. *By dark I don't mean sexual violence - never.*

6) The whole IPKKND was meant to be darker. I am glad for the romantic comedy though! I think their balance of angst and comedy pre marriage was perfect! Not sure post marriage because it felt like a loop of going back to square one with no progress. But I think things were meant to be less subtle, more tragic and dramatized. So I think we could've gotten extremely angsty periods post marriage with a slow, gentle lull to the romance/comedy. While I am extremely glad for the lightheartedness, I wish I could've read what the whole original concept for Arnav/Khushi was!

7) Arnav revealing the truth to Khushi would've been different. We know the distasteful suicide track quickly came as a way to push Arnav's buttons and have him confess the truth of his elopement to Khushi. And that came from Barun going away - hence the quick kidnapping track and everything. So if Barun didn't go away, I honestly don't know how the revelation would happen. Would Arnav start piecing things together from information and things about Shyam in Laxminagar? Would Arnav end up helping and hospitalizing Shashi who would tell him the truth? Would Arnav come across any hidden wedding card Buaji could've had printed for Shyam-Khushi or even Shyam's fake kundili? Given the Gupta house wasn't the place where Shyam covered his tracks... was this where Arnav would start seeing things? Or guilt ridden, would Garima/Khushi/Madhumati tell Arnav the truth? Something was meant to happen for this revelation, whether it's Arnav believing Khushi or just getting further evidence against her - I... don't know! I wish I knew what the writers had in store.

We highly appreciate for not showing a typical Nanand against Bhaabi trope, also for not making La villain, but would it result differently if things didn't have a hand? Imma cry thinking Anjali jealous and La villain! meh!  What a feast for the eyes it was to see ONLY ONE VILLAIN and less negativity in a tellywood show. Baas bohut hua my casual verbiage. By demand I mean no pressure, please take your valuable time and reply whenever you feel like it.Take Loads of Care and Chocolates your way <3

I hope the above answered all your queries :) Thank you for all the chocolates and care!!!

Phew this was rather long! A big hug to anyone who went through it! See ya later!

- Jalebi

[yourcreepyneighborhoodelftwink]

4?

What was their relationship like before they got together?

Actually, there was a period before they got together when things were, like, REEEEAAALLLLLYYYYYY unhealthy.

When BEN first got to the Pasta Mansion, he was even more of a control freak than now, and really domineering. Like, REALLY domineering. Like, the incorrect amount. And he IMMEDIATELY locked his sights onto Toby. When BEN showed up, Toby still wasn't doing great with processing his own trauma. He was shyer, withdrawn, a more passive personality, but more chaotic and unstable. And BEN was FRESH out of his traumatic situation, he'd JUST escaped being captive in his game, JUST got a corporeal body back, absolutely NOTHING had been processed. He didn't even have TIME to realize how unhealthy his need for control was and work to reign it in to a more manageable level.

They formed a pretty unhealthy attachment to each other at first, but BEN saw Toby more like a pet to train than a genuine friend, and Toby craved the stability that BEN's dominance offered. It was overbearing and he didn't always like the things BEN asked him to do (especially when it helped his own ends to try and have a power play over Slenderman), but he knew what to expect and that he he could count on his safety if he went along with it. It gave him structure, and it gave him a form of protection, BEN wasn't fond of anyone picking on his lapdog.

It did eventually come to a head when BEN asked him to steal something from Slenderman so he'd have some sort of blackmail material (I don't know what I hc he wanted to steal, and it's frankly not that important in the narrative of their relationship). Toby admitted that he was a little worried and didn't want to, BEN started yelling at him to not question him, but then IMMEDIATELY backed down when he realized Toby started crying and freezing from him raising his voice. It was an IMMEDIATE wake-up call to BEN that he was going WAY too far with trying to control the mansion, just because he was afraid of not being in charge.

It mellowed out VERY quickly after that, BEN stopped asking Toby to do things like that to give him blackmail material or strong-arm people, made an effort to ask Toby's opinion on things they did together and figure out how to help him through his issues, and it really smoothed out to a good friendship. And it helped Toby, too, he realized later that he really needed to learn to stand up for himself, BEFORE he got to the point where he couldn't take it anymore. He started slowly coming out of his shell, he felt more confident in standing up for himself, and just that he could finally trust other people to help him, not for their own benefit, but just because they wanted to see him at his best.

After all that angst is gotten past, they had a very good friendship before they got together. They would've had the same effect on each other with bringing out the good in each other even if they only stayed as friends. BEN doesn't necessarily LOSE that dominant nature, but he learns how to use it much better, to trust that those in charge above him aren't just trying to use him and that he doesn't have to use others in return, and while he still does OCCASIONALLY make moves to ensure he's being respected and not underestimated, he's learned the fine line between ensuring respect and ensuring obedience from everyone, as well as making sure that he uses his knowledge of psychology for good, to help Toby and anyone else to understand what they're going through and how best he can help them.

Plus, they just get up to fun chaos together. They're partners in crime, they love pranking people together, and that's a ride or die friendship on its own. They'd be just as close with or without the romantic relationship, they've been through a lot together, PUT each other through a lot, and came out of it stronger than ever

[tarlos-spain]

Flufftober Day 1 - Winning a Teddy for the Other

Fandom: 9-1-1

Pairing: Eddie Diaz/Evan "Buck" Buckley

Characters: Eddie Diaz, Christopher Diaz, Evan "Buck" Buckley

After the storm

The tsuami changed everything in the city, but also inside Buck. He almost lost Christopher and Eddie's pain became his in a way he didn't expect. Now his feelings have changed or simply awakened more strongly.

Chapter 1

The fair was full, like every weekend or any summer day. It was full of families, couples in love, couples he didn't yet know would end up together and in his case, a depressed guy who was on sick leave and his best friend's son.

Eddie had asked him to take Christopher to the fairs, had told him the kid was bored at home, when really the point was to get him out of his apartment, where he had been holed up for days with no intention of leaving.

The plan had worked because Buck adored Christopher. He had never entertained the idea of having children, but with Eddie's son everything was easy and simple, despite the difficulties the boy encountered from day to day, Christopher was just great, funny like his father and at times seemed more mature than either of them.

What a day he was having at the fair and Buck could hardly believe he had managed to win that huge teddy bear for the boy.

"It's for daddy, I'm sure he'll be happy when we give it to him." Said Christopher as they grabbed some ice cream and before going on the next ride. "Dad really likes you and so do I."

Buck almost choked on his ice cream cone, but was able to remain serious.

"I really like you too and your dad...your dad is a great friend and a terrific co-worker, of course." "Dad thinks I'm too small and I've heard him talk about you." "About me?"

Buck wasn't sure if it was curiosity or fear of what Eddie might say about him and who he talked about it with.

"Yeah, with Captain Nash. Sometimes Bobby sounds like a psychologist, but he always listens to Dad." "And what does your dad say about me?" "Dad laughs when Bobby something about professional secrecy, although I don't quite know what it is. I guess if it's a secret I can't tell you. It would be wrong." "Sure, sure you can't tell me. That's all right."

Buck carried the teddy bear like he was just another companion that afternoon until the damn tsunami wave made him forget about the bear. The one thing he didn't forget about was the obligation he had to save and protect Christopher at all costs, even if it meant risking his own life.

She thought she didn't think she would lose him and she thought she would have to tell Eddie that she had lost her son. But Christopher showed up, he was fine, cold and scared to death like him, but he was fine.

Again he was on sick leave for the next two days, he didn't know if it was the stress of surviving a tsunami, the near hypothermia he had caught or the exhaustion that almost made him pass out when the tension left his body.

In any case, he was beginning to hate being on sick leave, staying home alone because everyone else had to work and the free time that left him to think about everything, including what Eddie liked.

He decided not to pay much attention to Christopher's words, after all, he was a kid, he could have understood anything from his father's conversation with Bobby, it didn't necessarily have to be a romantic statement.

However, that new day at home, on leave, Eddie showed up at his front door with a bucket of beers, three huge bags of cold chips and cell phone in hand.

"What would you rather I order for dinner, sushi or pizza?" "Eddie what are you doing here, where did you leave Christopher?" "I had to take care of two of my favorite people in the world, but they each need different attentions." He said walking into the apartment. "Christopher is with Carla for an afternoon movies and board games which Grandma Diaz will join later and I'm here with you, to have dinner, watch TV, convince you to watch an MMA fight and spend the evening talking about how lucky we both are after what happened yesterday." "Eddie, you didn't need to, really. I'm fine at home; after noto it wouldn't hurt to have a couple of quiet days on the couch."

Eddie put the beers away in the fridge but grabbed two and handed one to Buck, he did the same with the bags of chips, put them away but opened one and in the end decided to grab some sushi and a couple of pizzas.

"You talk to me like I don't know you Evan. You hate sitting on the couch longer than you need to and being alone is not your thing."

Buck smiled, it was true, Eddie had known him for a little over a year but he could read him like an open book. He accepted the beer and one of the potato bowls and went with Eddie to the couch.

He told her the story of the fair, with the disaster afterwards, he hadn't had time to tell her how it had gone the day before, and he told her how they had managed to win the bear Christopher wanted to give her.

"It was a gift from both of us, but the original idea was Christopher's." "My goodness, as much as I wanted to have a six-foot bear in my bed every night." "Don't say it like that, I think Christopher feels bad about it." "And you?" the question caught Buck by surprise, he didn't even know what to answer. "Christopher didn't name me no bear and you can't seem to get it out of your head." "What are you saying, it was just a teddy bear."

Buck laughed nervously and grabbed the TV remote from him to change the channel, but Eddie snatched it back, turned off the TV and stood up.

"Come on." "Where do you want us to go now?" "I don't know, I'll look it up on the way." "What are you talking about, where do you want to go?" "To find another fair where we can get our hands on a teddy bear that you can give me." "It was a gift from Christopher." Buck protested as he turned on his heels.

When Eddie got something in his head, there was no way to change his mind. In that father and son were a lot alike.

Eddie asked Buck to get behind the wheel, while he looked around in nearby towns, which one might now have some beasts in which he could win back a giant stuffed animal.

They didn't have to go far, a few miles from Los Angeles in a small town they were holding, literally, a livestock fayre and had set up rides and tombolas.

"Pick the bear you like best." Eddie said when the two of them had gotten out of the car." Let's get it and you take it home in memory of the late Teddy." "Teddy?" "I know he didn't get to have a name, but he deserves one. Come on." The afternoon was one of the most entertaining of his life; he was able to laugh so hard he forgot about the tsunami and Eddie's struggle at the raffle to get to take the biggest bear he could find would only be believable later because Buck videotaped it.

But finally, the raffle attendant gave him the huge stuffed animal and Eddie lifted it like a hunting trophy, over his head and finally handed it to Buck.

"There you go. You got your stuffed animal..." "Which I'm going to give to you right now as a fiancé."

The three of them returned home after dark and grabbed another couple of beers and arrived just in time to get dinner.

They took a seat on the couch and searched Netflix for a really bad movie to entertain themselves with and now that it was much quieter; it seemed like a lie how much things could change now that he saw a teddy bear sitting on the couch.

"Eddie." "Hmmm?" "I know you like women because you've been with one and you flirt a lot with others, but..." Eddie stared at him, you could tell from the look in his eyes that he knew where this conversation was going to go, but he let him speak. "Have you ever been interested in a guy?"

[thejustmaiden]

Jaken = Rin's Dad?

Okay, is this how a daughter treats their so-called father?

Most definitely not.

Rin and Jaken's relationship clearly screams of your typical sibling rivalry punctuated with cute and silly moments of playful bickering.

Yes, Jaken may technically be her main provider, but that doesn't necessarily equate to him being more of a father than Sesshomaru. If anything, he demonstrates more of a brotherly love towards her. As we all know, parents (which Sesshomaru embodies more based on real life patterns and parallels) will leave their older more capable children in charge of looking after their younger brothers and sisters. In this case, that would mean making Jaken responsible for watching over Rin and protecting her if need be. Ah-Un offers protection, too. Think of it as Jaken as the big brother and Ah-Un as the family dog who are babysitting while Sesshomaru as the parent of the household is away at work or taking care of business. I mean, they literally fit that description to a tee and I'm dying at the accuracy of it all! 🤣👌

[Quick! Someone write up a modern au where Sesshomaru finally gets out to have a nice date night but everything goes wrong in the most spectacular way. Like maybe Rin and Jaken catch a ride on Ah-Un to go spy!]

I recently revisited some episodes from The Final Act, and I couldn't believe how many moments like this there were where Rin got after Jaken or when she would "put him in his place" so to speak. Obviously, all of it is mostly harmless. I was only surprised by how often it occurred, not to mention how Jaken would just stand there and take it. Towards a supposed father figure, Rin's behavior is downright unacceptable. There's a certain level of respect a child is expected to show their parents/guardians, and that's just not what I'm witnessing here between them. Like at all.

Rather their dynamic has the nature of some sibling relationships like I mentioned above. So I really wish fans would stop pretending otherwise, because based on what we know of father-daughter relationships- healthy ones at least- they don't appear anything like what Jaken and Rin have. If you could please provide me other examples of where we've seen similar portrayals in fiction or in real life, then perhaps I can get on board.

Look, that doesn't have to mean that because Jaken isn't her father then Sesshomaru must be. They can both be her caretakers without necessarily filling that traditional father role. I'm just saying that if we're going to start assigning titles to characters, let's make sure we are accurate and truthful in our assessments. If you're going to label anyone Rin's dad, then it needs to be Sesshomaru. Jaken doesn't have precedence over him in terms of fatherly attributes, that just wouldn't make sense.

After all, this isn't about what you want to see, this is about what Rin very likely sees. It's safe to assume that she views Sesshomaru more like a father than she does Jaken. She knows she's safe with him (broadly speaking lol) and that he'll come for her no matter what. That sense of security and comfort is what a child seeks and what they should always feel in a parent's presence. She trusts and even idolizes him, just as a young and innocent child tends to do with their parents. At that age, parents are perfect and could do no wrong in their child's eyes. Idk about you, but this describes perfectly how Rin is around Sesshomaru.

Rin adores him and will follow him anywhere- yes, even into danger! That's what the innocence and unconditional love of a child will bring them to do if necessary. Fortunately, at the end of The Final Act we learn Sesshomaru takes Kaede's advice when he realizes that leaving Rin with her in the village is in her best interests. That way she'd be able to lead a more normal and safer life alongside other humans. Remember, Sessrin shippers, that doesn't mean he wasn't still a part of her life and didn't witness her become a young woman over the years right before his very eyes. Therefore, if they eventually do become romantically involved, then most if not all of those gifts had intimate and seductive intentions and it essentially constitutes as child grooming.

I understand from a Sessrin shipper's point of view why it'd be so much easier to claim Jaken as the father. In doing so, they diminish Sesshomaru's role in her upbringing. By refusing to acknowledge the real role he had in helping raise Rin (short periods can be crucial and impressionable too esp. in a child's early years so yes they did assist in raising her not only Kaede), these shippers are better able to justify how their filial-like relationship evolved into a romantic one. So yeah, I get it, if I were a Sessrin shipper I'd probably do the same. It's one of the more plausible arguments available to them, after all. "Let's pin Jaken as the father to fend off antis!" is the best chance they've got, but even so, it's still not good enough. But if you insist Jaken is indeed like a father to Rin, then Sesshomaru is most certainly one too. Who says she can't have two fathers anyway?

The thing is however much you want to deny or downplay what Sesshomaru truly means to Rin and vice versa, nothing will ever change or hide the truth of the matter. Please, stop acting like they're only traveling companions and nothing more. Some of y'all even go so far as to say that they're like strangers. Knowing potentially little about a person is not equal to a lack of love and affection. Making big assumptions such as this to defend your ship is actually doing you more harm than good. Let me elaborate.

According to your reasoning, if that's all Rin ever was to him was a companion and Sesshomaru had no real attachment to her, then what precisely is the basis of your ship? Recall that Adult!Rin doesn't exist yet, thus we have no real idea what she will be like or if she's even alive. So how can you make comments like that but then go on later to say "they have such a unique and unbreakable bond" or "only Rin can be the mother because she's the only human he ever cared for" if all that time spent traveling together didn't amount to much in the first place like you claimed to believe beforehand? Do you see how your rationalizing is confusing?

Contrary to what some of you may think, I'm not just saying all this because I'm an anti and I'm obligated to disagree with you, or whatever other excuse you want to tell yourself. Believe it or not, I'm attempting to give as unbiased and objective of an analysis I can based on widely accepted interpretations of family dynamics, development, and any history we know of.

Of course I respect that at times fans will perceive things differently since that's bound to happen. What's hard for me to wrap my head around however is the unwillingness of some fans- not exclusively Sessrin shippers- to apply basic common sense and sound judgment to their observations and deductions.

Looking at all our facts, then taking the small handful of scenes Sesshomaru and Rin do share together into account, one can logically conclude that their dynamic is akin to one found in a typical parent-child relationship. If you still fail to recognize Sesshomaru as a parent to Rin, then that's fine too. In the end, that won't really change the fact that he'd still take on a role resembling an adult figure overseeing a young child's care and protection. Be it as a vassal, guardian, what have you. Plus, nobody is saying here that Sesshomaru doesn't make mistakes regarding Rin's general well-being, but so do all parents. Overall, I think the majority of us agree that Rin is in good hands. Whether it's in his direct company or in his occasional supervision from his frequent visits to the village.

In other words, it doesn't really matter what exact title you assign him in relation to Rin, as the distribution of power is all inherently the same with any and all adult-child relationships. That bond never changes once you've established it either, seeing as it's a special kind of connection one can only form with a child and a child alone.

I was a teacher for a few years, and speaking from personal experience, you don't need to be a parent, per se, to take on a role of authority in a child's life. I know without a doubt that I could never and will never view any of those kids I taught in a sexual/romantic light later down the road; yes, not even once they become grown-ups who are independent and more than capable of making their own decisions. Those of you who disagree are usually missing the whole point though, because we're not trying to dictate what Adult!Rin can and cannot do like many tend to accuse of us doing. This isn't a question of taking away from her autonomy nor does it fall under "purity culture," which is why people shouldn't continue jumping to these outrageous conclusions and really listen for a change. You're deflecting from the real issue here when you choose to misinterpret what we're saying by ignoring the problem we're actually referring to. You cannot present a valid counter-argument if you persist in twisting our words.

Bottom line: once these kids become old enough to pursue a sexual/romantic relationship, of course they have that right if they're ready. All we're trying to say is you guys ought to stop pushing forward this it's-completely-normal-to-want-to-bang-your-adoptive-dad-since-you're-an-adult-and-can-do-as-you-please agenda and not expect backlash. Ship it if you want, but please stop acting like their romance would be the epitome of a pure and healthy relationship.

Sesshomaru may not wear his heart on his sleeve, but it's foolish to presume he didn't actually care about Rin during their whole time together just because he didn't openly express his feelings until the very end. Surely everybody can comprehend that people handle and process their emotions differently. The way Sesshomaru chooses to is completely valid for the most part, so let's cut him some slack regarding this already.

What I'm trying to get at is that any child whose life you played an influential role in will always be a kid in a lot ways to you even when they're old and wrinkly. Just as they will always picture you as the loved one who guided and protected them when they were most vulnerable and couldn't always fend for themselves. Can't we relate this to children we know personally and apply it accordingly?

Finally, I want to end on this note. Could you kindly take a look at these two images below for a second?

The reason I ask is because of something I recently read that's relevant to the topic. There was this pro-sessrin tweet I saw that stated Rin trying to take care of Sesshomaru when they first met is what a mom would do for a child, which in their opinion, translates to Rin being more like a mother than a daughter if anything.

First off: are you freaking kidding me????

Seriously, so now children aren't allowed to tend to their sick or injured parents?! Parents are apparently superhuman and shouldn't be offered a helping hand from a child, even if they mean well and want to help their parent who's in pain?? Now this Twitter user was mostly being a smartass, but at the same time, it was evident they genuinely thought they offered a valid enough point that warranted no further explanation or clarification.

Secondly, by saying this Sessrin fans don't seem to realize that in actuality they're contradicting themselves and proving the point we've been trying to make all along. Glancing at the first picture and moving down to the second, the role of the one being cared for and the caretaker is reversed. So then by their own logic, Sesshomaru IS in fact like a father to Rin.

What it comes down to is the names you give to the roles these characters play aren't as crucial as the dynamic they share. The specific characteristics of that dynamic are what define the importance of said role, not so much the name in the role itself. So real father or not, Sesshomaru and Rin clearly mean a lot to each other. Close relationships are defined and solidified by the devotion and belonging they have to one another, not solely by the duration of time spent together and their proximity.

Well, that's a wrap! I hope you guys got something outta this blog, and that you enjoyed or found some portions of it interesting. I would love to hear your thoughts on the subject from this fandom, but only engage in conversation if you plan to be respectful. Thank you!

[sxveme-2]

blueberry pancakes // bucky barnes

MASTERLIST

Description: A single mother. Juggling being a mom, a full time pediatrician, and a difficult ex who believed now would be the best time to finally be a father. A soldier ripped out of time. Ex-assassin turned superhero. Learning how to balance a new domestic life with handling demons of his past, while facing the trials of the future. a love story began over something as simple as chocolate chip pancakes with hidden blueberries.

Disclaimer: I do not own any original Marvel characters! All canon plots and canon characters belong to Marvel Comics and Marvel Studios. This is an original work. You may not publish it anywhere else

Status: Unedited

Note: Takes place after endgame. I have elected to ignore Tony's death and Steve's leaving. Did not happen. Quick Reminder! My works are only published here, AO3 and on Wattpad, thank you.

Chapter Twenty Four: The One Where He Snaps

Warnings: N/A

Word Count: 3174

   Lily knew that Bucky had an unpredictable job. It wasn't a standard 9-5 with a set schedule for the rest of his time in the position like Lily. He didn't necessarily have 'vacation days', or time off. He was technically always on the clock or always on call. But she also knew that he was aware of how important promises were to her. And he had made one to her, and swore that there would be no interruptions. Lily was proud of him, and the job that he did, but the selfish part of her wished that just for one weekend, he wasn't a superhero. That he wasn't The Winter Soldier, and that he was just Bucky. Bucky Barnes, boyfriend to Lily Osborne. Male role model to Hunter Osborne. Even just someone who had a standard job, one that was like hers, 9-5, same work day everyday.

But she knew he loved what he did. And how it helped him satisfy that need for redemption because of his past. She respected that, but that selfish side of her just would not quiet as she stared at the man in front of her.

"Yeah...He's in the living room," she swallowed, shooting a glance over to the supersoldier, "Come on in Sam."

Lily did a sidestep and extended her arm to greet the other Avenger into the cabin. Her breathing had picked up slightly and her throat felt dry. If it were a simple mission, she was sure Sam would have just called. Even texted. Instead, he showed up in person, with a serious look. Something Lily wasn't used to seeing on him. Shutting the door, Lily spared another look at Bucky before walking into the kitchen, filling the kettle once again. Her movements weren't as flowy and graceful as usual, and followed a more so aggressive and clearly annoyed pattern. Anytime she placed something down, it held more of a strength. It didn't go unnoticed by Bucky either. He kept sending her apologetic eyes as him and Sam talked in hushed breaths.

After pouring Sam his tea, Lily placed a few of the cookies Bucky had picked up at the grocery store the night prior on a plate and walked back into the living room where they spoke. Handing Sam the mug, Lily avoided eye contact with the man she was meant to be spending a romantic weekend alone with. After placing the cookies on the table, Lily grabbed her coat and hat, slipped on her boots, and walked out the back door. She didn't intend to close the door as aggressively as she did, but her instincts took over.

Lily watched the sun dip briefly below the treeline as her breath danced in front of her. She cupped her hands around her own mug that she had grabbed before leaving the cabin, and processed what was happening. Bucky had sat before her the day before they left, and took her hands into his own, and swore that nothing would interrupt them. That he had made sure of it. That there were no missions that would require him or have anything to do with him for that matter. The blonde scoffed as she recalled the words, shaking her head and dipping it down lower, staring at her feet against the white of the snow on the deck.

The sound of the door opening behind her caused Lily to lift her head, turning it to glance at who was joining her. It was the opposite of what she expected. Sam stood there with a sorry look on his face, walking forward and leaning on the porch bannister next to the blonde. Neither spoke for a moment, and just stared out at the lowering sun. Her heart fell slightly when she realized Bucky didn't even come out to talk to her himself, and probably sent Sam instead.

"You know he doesn't want to go," Sam began, glancing over at her, "he just spent the entire time we talked begging me to take someone else."

"And why does he have to go?" Lily questioned, eyes not faltering.

"Sometimes some things won't rest easy. And have a habit of returning." Sam replied, folding his fingers together,

This caught Lily's attention. She turned her head to the superhero and placed her mug down on a clear part of the banister. Her blonde eyebrow cocked up as she studied the solemn and far off look in Sam's face. His eyebrows were furrowed and mind seemed to be racing, as if he was struggling to find the words. She crossed her arms over her chest and leaned against the wooden banister, trying to silently coax the real reason with proper details from the typically blunt man. She had a way of doing it. It was something Bucky had coined 'the mother stare'. Anytime she gave it to Hunter, or even Bucky for that matter, whatever either may have been hiding came out within seconds. But Sam seemed to have more composure.

"I wish I could tell you, Lily," Sam continued, "I do. But with this...the less you know the better."

"Oh yeah, quite the way to comfort the girlfriend," Lily scoffed, turning her attention back to the treeline, "so what. I go back home and worry like the dotting girlfriend. What do I tell Rose? Gen? What am I supposed to tell my son." She snapped, voice coming out harsher than she expected it to.

"No." He stated simply.

Rolling her eyes, Lily turned to him once again, "No? What do you mean 'no', Sam?"

"You're not going home."

-----

She wasn't a violent or angry person. Farthest thing from it. Lily was docile, timid, and had a good control over her outward emotions. Especially that of anger or frustration. But lord did she want to absolutely lose it on both of the men that stood in the bedroom. Bucky hadn't spoken a word to Lily ever since Sam had arrived. Instead, he merely had a stone cold look on his face with eyebrows knitted together. Lily could barely look at him as she finished putting her duffel bag back together with the clothing she had packed for what she expected to be a romantic getaway for her and her boyfriend.

But even the most timid have a breaking point.

Throwing a shirt into her bag, Lily turned to Bucky, "So this is how it'll be hm? You just aren't going to tell me anything? Great. Now I have to pack up my son and everything and move into an Avengers Compound because of something I don't even know!" The blonde exclaimed.

Bucky nodded at Sam, and the latter left the room and shut the door behind him. Tears welled up in Lily's eyes as Bucky walked forward. He reached out to take her hands in his but she pulled them away, putting the last of her clothing into the bag and zipping it closed. The air in the room was heavy and thick, neither knowing what exactly to do or say. Lily was furious with the entire situation that was playing out, no even per say at Bucky as much anymore, just...everything. It had started perfectly, the weekend. They laughed and talked and learned even more about one another, only to have it end with her learning that she wasn't safe to be at her own house.

"I don't know what you want me to say, Buck," Lily sighed, dropping onto the quilt covered bed, "You promised me- "

"I know I promised you a work free weekend- "

"No!" She exclaimed, looking up at him, "You promised me we would always be safe. Always. That you wouldn't put us in danger in any way."

"Doll..."

"And why can't you tell me what is happening!?" She continued, "If this is putting my son in danger I have the right to know what's going on!"

Bucky moved the woman's duffle bag and took a seat on the bed next to her. She avoided his gaze, but his fingers tugged her chin to look at him. Tears fell down her cheeks, plump and swollen as she stared at him. Her nostrils flared and her eyes continued to water. There was so much going on in her mind that she could barely put into words. She had a suspicious hunch as to why they weren't telling her what was going on, but everything inside of her rejected the thought of it. She feared her parents had done something again, caused wreckage or hurt more people. The only thing that brought her slight comfort was the feeling of Bucky's rough fingers gripping her chin gingerly, staring into her glossy eyes.

"I think you know." Bucky whispered, wiping a tear from her cheekbone with his thumb.

She swallowed the lump that formed in her throat, and her eyes fluttered closed. Lily wished sometimes she wasn't as intuitive. The moment Sam told her that somethings don't rest easy, it had clicked in her head. They were trying to make sure that they didn't go for Lily or Hunter. From the previous run in, she figured it was more so for Hunter's safety and Lily's sanity. But that didn't stop the raging fire that burned deep within Lily's stomach. She wanted to help, because she knew her parents. She knew their personalities inside and out, and she knew that if anything, she could get through to her dad.

"What'd they do?" She choked out, opening her wet eyes.

"They escaped. And are partnered with an engineering firm that has been rumoured to be looking into genetic engineering and mutations using natural resources...something your parents are known for. The natural resources part." He added in the end, a weak smile forming on his lips.

"...how long will you be gone?"

"Not long."

-----

Lily stood outfront of the Avengers compound with a heavy heart. Two suitcases were gripped in her hands as she bit down on her bottom lip. Hunter and Rose apparently had already arrived, leaving Lily to be the last. Sam and Bucky stood behind her, the latter's arm wrapped around her waist. Lily hadn't said a word the entire way down from the cabin, mostly because she was mostly at a loss for words. Her chest was tight and throat felt ten times smaller, and her stomach had been in knots. Everything about the situation made Lily feel queasy, both with fear for Bucky, and anxiety about her family. She didn't know the extent of her parents' mercy, mostly because she hadn't even been aware of the devious things they had been engrossed in. But she felt that most of her worry about her family wasn't necessarily surrounding her parents, but Cedar. She knew her brother. She had helped raise him. Lily knew he wasn't truly capable of these things.

She wanted to help him most of all.

"Let me come with you." She blurted out, looking up at Bucky.

"What?" Bucky questioned, eyebrows furrowing.

"I know my parents. I can help. There won't be a need for violence, I can talk to them." She rambled, letting go of the suitcases and taking Bucky's hands into her own.

"No," he stated simply, shaking his head, "No you're not coming. Lily this isn't as easy as you think. You're staying here, you'll be safe here."

"They're my parents Buck!" Lily exclaimed, "I know them best. I lived with them for eighteen years of my life! I know how they think."

"She may have a point." Sam muttered, earning a deadly glare from the man in front of the blonde.

She knew it was a longshot, and it was most likely just the adrenaline talking. But Lily wanted to do something, instead of sitting at the compound like a sitting duck. Hiding away from her own family. She knew these people better than Bucky, or Sam, or anyone they're working with. Whether she admitted the slight neglectful nature they had, she knew who Alicia and Abel Osborne were, inside out. She knew her mothers ticks and her fathers nervous habits. She knew for a fact she could be an asset for the mission. Because she was an Osborne, the eldest one at that. The one who had been around her parents the longest, and coherently saw them at their lowest.

"No. No I'm not debating this, you're staying here," Bucky said once more, voice firm, "It's not safe. I won't let you be in harm's way. I promised you that."

"You also promised her a romantic weekend away." Sam chimed in.

Both Lily and Bucky turned to look at Sam with an expression of 'really?' printed on their faces. Sam simply shrugged and raised his hands innocently. Though the fact was true, it was not the right time for the comment. Lily raised her hand and whacked the man on the arm, shaking her head and turning her attention back to Bucky.

"You can't deny it's true. I know them, Buck. Better than anyone that will be on this mission."

"No, Lily. You're not coming. End of discussion." He concluded, turning and walking towards the compound, leaving Sam and Lily in the parking lot.

"And you sleep with him." Sam scoffed, a small chuckle leaving his lips.

Turning her head, Lily stared at him with the same expression she had given him earlier. Earning the exact same reaction. Shaking her head, Lily gripped her suitcases and followed Bucky towards the compound.

-----

"Why're we here?" Hunter asked as Lily finished unpacking her clothing. She knew he would ask, but honestly, Lily didn't really have an answer. What was she to tell a twelve year old who had already been through as much as he had? That his moms boyfriend was off to handle his grandparents evil and misguided antics?

Sighing, the blonde beckoned the boy over to her bed, taking a seat and opening her arms for him. Hunter sat beside her and curled into his mother's embrace. She figured he somewhat knew what was going on, and was simply looking for reassurance from his mother. But Lily could barely understand the situation herself. Bucky and the others were across the compound, discussing the mission, leaving Lily with the condensed amount of information she had managed out of her boyfriend. She looked down at her son and smiled with her lips pursed, running her hand through his hair.

"There's just some stuff going on right now buddy, and Bucky thinks it's safer if you and I stay here with Auntie Rose and Joey for a bit. Just to make sure no one gets hurt." Lily nodded, watching as his face fell once again.

"Why aren't you telling me?" He asked flatly, eyebrows furrowed.

She shook her head, "Hunter that's not fair. I'm trying to do what's best here. Just trust me, okay?"

"No!" He exclaimed, jumping to his feet, "Mom tell me! I deserve to know!"

"Do not raise your voice at me, Hunter," she replied, voice calm and collected, "Have I ever done wrong by you?"

"I don't know. You never really told me what happened between you and Dad. And I never asked. You never told me what's going on with Uncle Cedar. You didn't tell me what was happening with Grandma and Grandpa! Bucky has told me more about himself these last few months than you have in the past years!" He exclaimed.

An arrow shot itself into Lily's heart. Hunter was fairly open about what he was feeling, and not once had Lily realized these things plagued his mind. She felt that he wasn't old enough to know what was really going on with the things he had listed, but he was observant. He knew something was wrong. The tears that welled in his eyes made everything disappear around Lily. She had done that. It was her fault he was crying. Because she couldn't face the reality, therefore she couldn't tell her own son.

Standing, Lily reached for the boy, only to have him run out of the room towards his own across the hall. Lily stood in shock with her mouth open and jaw slacked. Tears brimmed her eyes as she stared at the door that had just been slammed, knowing what she had caused was standing behind it. Her heart violently shook along with her hands, mind going blank of all happiness and filling those voids with nothing but pain and regret. Why didn't she tell him? Was it because she was protecting him? Was it because she didn't think he could handle it? Or because she couldn't? Her knees feel weak and met with the hardwood of the floor beneath her. She grabbed at her chest and scratched the porcelain skin, attempting to halt her heart from the rapid beats that sounded like drums in her ears.

Lily really thought she had been a good mother. That her and Hunter had a good and open communication line. That there weren't any major issues beneath the seemingly perfect relationship. She hadn't seen just how much everything was hurting him. A part of her resented the fact that Bucky had been brought up, and the claims Hunter made. It broke her heart. She just wanted him to be okay, to not have to see the true evil in the world. But he saw anyways, sometimes more than she did. And Lily couldn't protect him from it, or hide it away.

She didn't even notice Joey enter her room and curl into her side, pawing at her thigh gently as a way to gain her attention. She instinctively dropped her hand to rest on his paw, the feeling of his fur soothing her slightly. But the heaving continued, and her throat felt tight and dry. Tears streaked her cheeks as she relived the words her son spat at her just moments before. She only snapped out of it when the cool feeling of metal rested on her cheek, snapping her out of the continuous loop.

"Doll, love what's wrong?" He whispered. But she couldn't speak. Words wouldn't form in her throat and her mind could barely function enough to even begin to think what she would say, "Baby I can't help if you don't talk to me."

Lily stared at his cool blue eyes, eyebrows furrowed and chest heaving. Small, inaudible noises escaped her mouth as she continued to dry heave. Bucky pursed his lips and stood, picking her up carefully and laying her on the bed. He knew not to push, and to simply sit there with her for a few minutes. He had shut the door behind him when he entered, and curled the blonde into his chest. His flesh hand stroked her hair as she buried her face deep into the crook of his shoulder, breathing in the woody and musky scent he had. Finally, she violently shook her head and sat up with a new mission in her head.

"I have to tell Hunter everything. He needs to know."

[buddha-in-disguise]

I have so much to unpack from last night's Supergirl episode. Since it ends at 3am UK time, I often tweet a little before I finally fall asleep. But it is now midday, so here goes on further thoughts on it all. I know this is going to be pretty rambling but I hope it makes sense.

First. Up until this half of the season, not only did Supergirl consistently trend in the UK, so did other words associated with it, most notably Kara and Lena.

Since 5B began, the trending has failed to materialise in the UK. The hiatus of two those blocks almost immediately on top of each other hasn't helped, but it is still a salient point.

Now for the rest. I'm not even sure where to start, but I will try my best.

The opening scenes in the bar.

No Nia. No Kelly. Where were they? Nothing was even mentioned. It wouldn't have taken much to have Alex say if Kelly was working, or running late. Anything. Hell, they had Kelly/Dansen and Nia meet up in a bar scenario in 5A. Why suddenly are they not there? They wouldn't necessarily need dialogue (I mean, Kelly has barely had any since Crisis anyway, so what's new?)

Yet in walks William and suddenly Alex is teasing Kara about inviting him. Winn is also there saying, hey it's okay. You barely know the guy, you had a shitty relationship beforehand, but go ahead, date the dude.

We had a prime opportunity for the Danver sisters to do karaoke together. Instead it was with William. At the expense of sister time (so many would’ve loved the sisters singing together).

So much here is wrong for me as a viewer.

If you have a show about female empowerment, yet the lead of that show is having to be told by others that dating a guy she has barely shared any positive moments with, let alone any romantic feelings for beyond a really awkward moment the episode before; that is not empowering a woman.

All too often Supergirl (as the lead in the show) is looking at dating, but not being capable of making her own romantic choices without the interference from others around her.

The only one I can think of who didn't need that was S1 James and to some degree Adam. Kara showed interest, but ultimately made the decisions on her own. Kara also recognised that with Winn, they were better off as friends. Yet S2 began and inexplicably Kara and James had broken up, and the need for Kara to get told to go for it by others began.

Mon-El was extremely problematic. As is William. Both were allowed to lie, to treat women like garbage at times with immunity. Yet here is another double standard. Kara and the Superfriends lied to Lena for 3 years, yet Lena is a bad person for reacting. I will repeat what has been said I don't know how often about Lena's reaction. It isn't without issue in how she is dealing with it. She isn't evil, but she has handled it badly. Her own emotional trauma, that was partly unpacked in 5A helps though explain why she behaved as she has.Yet, Mon-El faced no consequences for his actions. William can be a complete nightmare in how he treated Kara in 5A, but all is suddenly forgotten about or forgiven because of the reset? That is a cop out if ever there was one.

This hypocrisy is what annoys me the most, and frankly it is misogynistic all too often.

I actually pity any woman who believes it is okay for a man to behave as many do towards Kara. The message it sends is awful. I know the men in my family would be horrified by the actions of these love interests. I know of some men watching the show who feel the same way.

As for Lena and Kara. The trauma both have faced has shaped them. Yet Kara appears unaffected by losing her world a second time when Earth 38 was destroyed. On losing Argo. Sure they got it back, but as a changed merged World. You expect us to believe having to watch an antimatter wave destroy those you love has no effect? That being trapped for months with only the other paragons and Lex didn't cause trauma, even with a positive outcome. That seeing Krypton destroyed the first time wasn’t traumatic enough. That’s not something that just goes away. Add in losing Jeremiah, losing Astra (again), the trauma Supergirl must face when she can’t rescue everyone, that has a lifelong impact.

Lena has shown her emotional trauma has also been lifelong, albeit in a different way. To dismiss the emotional abuse Lena has suffered to attack her actions now is pitiful. Winn even suggests to Kara, that in the future, Lena does come through this, and isn't evil personified some want to make her out to be.

Yet Mon-El gets excused, William gets excused. Ugh. I’m sick of the double standard.

So, let’s unpack this further. Kelly Olsen was in the military. She wasn't just trained, but had an active role in the army. She recounted an event at a checkpoint where she was serving in S4. So she had active service, and it was in that moment when Kelly decided she wanted to help others more.

Kelly also knows the stress of keeping an important part of your life secret. She then also fell in love with a woman, someone who was her Sergeant, who was then killed on patrol (another reason we know Kelly was on active duty). It devastated Kelly who hadn't even told James of her relationship.

Later, upon completing her service, Kelly became a psychologist specialising in trauma.

Nia is also someone facing problems. Not only did her becoming Dreamer lead to discord with her sister, as well as the tragic loss of her mother, she has problems with Brainy. Nia offered to be there for Kelly when she was upset over watching Alex get hurt, but we saw nothing to suggest they had a heart to heart. Azie posted something that suggested they filmed a scene that did this, but it never made it on the final edit. Instead, once again we had William taking screen time.

So anyway, the point of all this is: guess who is placed to actively help Lena and/or Kara with the problems?

Kelly. Who apparently doesn't know Kara is Supergirl yet. So while Kara wonders if she should tell William, she could have the exact same conversations with Alex, only substitute Kelly for William. Overall, the plot could easily be maintained, and the established cast get good solid and plausible screen time. She could even talk to Nia about it, yet doesn't.

Another thing I find hard to understand is why haven't they used the link of Kelly, working at Obsidian North, where they could establish the Leviathan link.

If Lex has made the connection to Leviathan, you are telling me, even without Brainy helping them, Alex, Nia, J'onn and Kara haven't made the same connection? C'mon. Two investigative journalists, one who has won the Pulitzer, two DEO trained agents, and if Kelly was brought in, someone military trained; aren't able to make the connections? J'onn has all those computer banks in the tower, and while none of them are Brainy or Winn, he can't use said computing power? Why bother having it, if they are only props in the background. They could even ask Lena to help, since she has shown willingness to work with them if the reasoning was good enough. Leviathan is someone she knows (after all, Lena could have her memories returned by J’onn too). She knows the danger Leviathan poses. She could use the leverage to still get the lens from Obsidian in a similar way to now, but through Kelly if needed.

Actually, if they are using the tower, how does J’onn afford to pay for all this? I can only assume being as old as he is, he made some great investments over time, allowing him to be independently wealthy? But again nothing really suggests this.

Oh as for Alex leaving the DEO, great. After all, she was the Director but hasn’t been able to lead the DEO in all that time. Let alone some of the morally grey areas the DEO skirted around all too often. Still, where will she get her income from? Does she get paid as part of J’onn’s PI firm? Kara barely makes rent and food costs (at least she says her apartment is rent controlled so wouldn’t be able to afford it otherwise), so no way can she afford to help Alex out financially. Kelly might be able to support her, but again I cannot imagine it would be sustainable.

I feel like banging my head against a brick wall.

Onto Nia. I've said this a few times now, but here I go again. Back to William. I get the reason he came along in regards to Russell and so the Andrea connection. That story made sense. What hasn't made sense - William being used as a journalist, when Nia is right there! Nia has barely had any screen time, and virtually none as a journalist; you know - her actual job. I'm not sure what the minutes on screen ratio has been this season between the two, but it has felt completely slanted towards William as a viewer.

Instead of Kara and Nia investigating Leviathan after William was 'exposed' in 5A, now Nia is sidelined again, because they want Kara to team up with William to investigate Lex. Why do they need that journalistic pairing of William and Kara, when Nia - who as a Superhero, is better placed if danger from Lex occurs. But no, they're making it about Kara having to work with William because Lex threatened to kill him. Plus Nia was being mentored by Kara. Is she no longer being mentored by Kara? Are they a team? Even if the mentoring has ended, Nia is still not being utilised as a journalist. As the saying goes, make it make sense!

As for Lex. I love Jon Cryer. I’ve loved his version of Lex, but once again I feel Lena is just as well placed to take on his role in bringing down Leviathan. Why add another villain to this plot? We were told it was Leviathan who were the bad guys for this season, but once again we barely have a glimpse of them, but all the screen time on Lex, also to the detriment of Lena. We could be using this time to begin to mend Lena’s relationships with not only Kara, but the Superfriends. Instead we are getting bit and pieces, that seemingly bear little resemblance to the ‘fight for Lena’s soul’, or the ‘Stronger together, weaker apart’ tag lines the SG team used to market the series in 5A. (See attached photo). So again, this is frustrating for us to watch, as there is absolutely no cohesion to the storytelling. We know it is the ‘nothing is as it seems’ season, but to have no really coherent storylines so far this late on? It is baffling for me.

The sidelining of Nia and Kelly also brings to the fore the way the LGBTQ characters are being treated.

Dansen feels like a long lost legend from the mists of time. As I said earlier, there was a perfect opportunity for a Dansen scene in the opening part of the show, yet we might as well watch tumbleweeds fly past, for all the screen time Dansen or Nia have had. Well, rather haven’t had.

It seems we shouldn't ask for justification as to why William is on the show, but when we say the LGBTQ characters are being sidelined, that it doesn't matter one jot how diverse a cast can be; if said cast are not being given credible storylines or screentime, and if we say as much, we have to continually justify why that is the case. We get told to take what we are given. To insist on better, is oppressing white CIS men (in some cases CIS women have argued the same). This isn't oppressing anyone, but asking that if we get given relationships, given characters we want to invest in, they get the storylines to accomplish that. Supergirl is failing the LGBTQ audience so badly at the moment. So many have the same complaints it is ludicrous to suggest this is just one section of a fandom or trolls.

What I'm taking from all this at the moment is that 20% of the main viewing demographic as per GLAAD figures (and more besides, as I've seen straight viewers recognising the problems as well), have serious concerns with Supergirl.

But keep telling us we are overreacting. Or we should take what we are given. Or that we are delusional. After all, it is the kind of crap we have sprouted at us continually away from Supergirl, why shouldn't it be the case here.

I look at S4, heck even 5A, to what the show is doing now and it feels like an unmitigated disaster. Episodes are running out fast, so even if they increase Dansen, or Nia's screen time, it won't be enough to make up what has been lost. They're running out of time to give us a solid ending that ties up the mess they've created.

I really don’t know where this will end? CW Supergirl - do better. You have some phenomenal actors and actresses in your cast. Do them and your audience justice. Because right now you aren’t at all.

[geekgirles]

Goodbye & Broppy

After the song was released, I felt the need of doing something I haven't done in a while for the Trolls fandom: an in-depth analysis.

The lyrics of the song were a real tearjerker; the separation, the longing, the sadness, the impression of giving up as the only option... And, considering it said Justin Timberlake was supposed to sing it, and the mentions of "My queen", "My love"; it totally sounds like a Broppy song.

Now, I know @georgebeard mentioned they'd talked to an animator who confirmed the scene was indeed deleted from the film. However, as a loyal and experienced member of the Miraculous fandom, I know better than to cross out the possibility of being misled in order to avoid spoilers (I'm looking at you guys, Chloé redemption, Félix , and Chat Blanc). So, there's that.

And even if the song did not make it in the end, we must not forget the first movie and its extra content.

If you purchased a DVD copy (like myself), or were obsessed enough to search for every possible Trolls-related video on YouTube (like myself), you must have surely found the deleted scenes from the film.

Poppy's dresses.

Poppy's storytelling.

"Bringing Back Happy."

And that's what I wanna talk about!

Bringing Back Happy was a, rather early (considering its storyboard stage), villain song that Chef was supposed to sing. So, even if Goodbye doesn't make it into Trolls World Tour, the chances of it appearing as extra content are pretty high, considering it was even mentioned before the release of the movie.

If that weren't enough for ya, there's more. Don't worry.

As I mentioned earlier, if you're familiar with the deleted scenes, you'll know 2/3 were in a very advanced stage of animation before being scrapped. Not to mention, the one major change we got no info about: turning Poppy's coronation party to the 20 year anniversary since they escaped the bergens. Again, a scene so advanced in its animation stage that even made it to the trailer!

Moreover, there's this detail in the very first trailer of Trolls World Tour that stuck with me: Branch's quote "This is a terrible idea that will blow up in your face!"

Which, if we compare it to his supportive attitude in the latest trailer ("I'm coming with you"), is completely different and even unexpected.

And that leads me to this: there are many reasons why a scene would be deleted; it gives a character a quality they didn't want, Chef didn't get to sing because it made her too funny, while Poppy didn't wear her dresses because it made her look spoiled; it becomes longer than they expected, another reason for the dresses and, I think, for the storytelling; or it changes the vibe of the movie greatly (if you guys knew the original script for How to train your dragon 2...).

On a side note, I remember a post from long ago that explained that one of the reasons its OP liked trolls so much was because, unlike the vast majority of films, Poppy and Branch never really had a fall out. They were always together.

What do I mean with this?

What if their fall out happens in this movie? What if Branch says that line out of frustration and Poppy and him, both devastated, are forced to go their separate ways?

That would be the perfect cue for a song as romantic and heartbreaking as Goodbye.

Not to mention, it would also explain how on Earth Poppy could be captured by Barb, alone. Because there's no way Branch wouldn't go down with her otherwise, and you know it.

Now that the song analysis and theorizing is out of the way, let's move on to the deeper part of the analysis: Broppy itself.

As someone who's been a hardcore Broppy shipper even before watching the movie, you can believe me when I say that it'll devastate me if they killed Broppy.

Even so, I also consider myself as someone both highly emotional and analytical, hence, why I create such analysis on the things I love. Trolls being no exception.

Something I want to talk about to make you all understand my point of view is the way Dreamworks works (as I see it). And for that, I'd like to compare Trolls, HTTYD, their tv shows, and their main ships, Broppy and Hiccstrid; respectively.

If there's something I've noticed about Dreamworks and Disney, that's that Disney movies have a much greater stand-alone value than Dreamworks'. That's why 95% of its films end with an extra-official couple or why their sequels are either shitty compared to the original (Lion King, The Little Mermaid, Mulan...) or a fucking masterpiece. I mean, take Frozen, for instance. The film made a major point on criticising Disney's "I get together with someone I barely know and we live happily ever after" trope. And yet, even if it was much subtler and less intense than usual, that's exactly what happened with Anna and Kristoff. Maybe they weren't married, but they got officially together. And as for Frozen II... I haven't seen it, but I've been told it's very, very different than the first one, and very, very good.

So, yeah. Stand-alone value.

But Dreamworks... Dreamworks manages to reach beautiful conclusions that, at the same time, let the plot perfectly open for more stories to be told.

Seriously, just watch How to Train your Dragon!

Every film had its ending, but it also made you wonder what was gonna happen next. It made you understand that the saga wasn't over, just a part of it. And I think that's what they're trying to achieve with Trolls.

I mean, sure. The plot of the sequel wasn't what we expected at all and made many of us think about the astounding amount of fanfics that delved in the possible existence of different kinds of trolls... But it left us all with one question in our minds, "what now?" And, at the same time, the film had reached a beautiful conclusion.

See what I mean?

I wholeheartedly believe this is something Dreamworks aim to achieve with its pairings. They don't want them to be rushed, they want to develop them. Sure, they want us to see there are ships, but they strive to form deep, strong relationships with much more meaning behind than just sharing an adventure together.

And that, that is something I can clearly see with Hiccstrid and Broppy.

If we take HTTYD, the hints on the romantic relationship between Hiccup and Astrid were even greater than Poppy and Branch's. Heck, they even kissed. And you know what was their official description for Riders of Berk to half of Race to the Edge? Not-so-platonic best friends.

But that's because they took the time to naturally develop and strengthen their bond!

Which is what I think is supposed to happen to Poppy and Branch.

Sure, they are close. Sure, they were on a life-changing adventure together. Sure, they are countless hints on their romantic feelings.

But they still spent 20 years being practically strangers.

They still need to learn how to be a team together. They still need to learn how the other works. They still need some basic ground.

If we keep on comparing the two films, we must not forget that HTTYD 2, despite having Hiccup and Astrid as betrothed, wasn't as heavy on their romance as the first and third movie were.

Because the focus of the film was Hiccup becoming a leader. Not becoming Astrid's husband.

And, considering the plot of Trolls World Tour, it's still very possible that it won't be as heavy on Broppy as it was the prequel. After all, TWT is more about diversity and harmony than happiness, which is what made the contrast between the optimistic princess and the cynical survivalist so important for Trolls.

But, please, fear not. This does not necessarily mean that Broppy is dead. It just means we might have to be careful about letting our hopes up and, more importantly, in case nothing is conclusive about these two in Trolls World Tour, that we just have to be a little more patient.

After all, a good written ship never disappoints.