#I didn't even edit this properly lol

[maideninorange]

"What are we?" "Human, at least I hope we still are."

For TsubaKuro obviously

Me? In a horror mood? Why never ever! Now with more mad science shit!

(TW: Graphic Descriptions of Injuries (Bone Malalignment), Body/Transformation Horror, Past Human Experimentation (Well, Youkai Experimentation, but the sentiment still applies))

The flicker of busted ceiling lights was the hazy sight that greeted Kuroji when consciousness began trickling back to them.

What... happened...? Was the first clear thought that came to their slushy mind. The rest were vague ideas and shards of memories without any sort of coherency. It was like they, the person and the body they inhabit, had turned to mush.

Kuroji hears someone groan. It takes a moment for them to realize that someone was actually Kuroji themself, their tongue lolling out of their mouth like a gaping moron.

It took them another moment to realize they were leaning against some kind of flat surface. Well, lean wasn't exactly the right word. Their mind was too foggy to think of the proper word for being bent into a right angle against said flat surface, so "lean" will have to do.

Another groan forces itself from their lips. Slowly, sensation starts to return to their body. It starts from their jaw and throat, then spreads down to their chest and up to the rest of their head. Their fingers twitch as feeling overflows through them again, the splinters of corroded wood still slightly chilled from...from...

...What caused this? It's all coming back to them now...

They had agreed to help with some kind of...experiment? Study? ...Yes, experiment. They remember being asked to bring someone here...Wherever here is again...For...Some kind of extraction? Of what? The answer floats away from them the moment they reach out to touch it.

Kuroji raises a trembling hand up to their temple, massaging it. Come on...Work stupid brain...

Some kind of explosion occurred. The last thing they vividly remember is the wide-eyed expression on...

...Tsubakura? Oh shit, Tsubakura!

"Tsu...Tsubakura?" They croak out, bleary eyes scanning their filmy surroundings for any sign of the monochrome figure or their top hat, "Are you...Are you here?"

A moment of silence passes. Kuroji is almost convince that Tsubakura is either still unconscious, isn't in the room at all, or...No, they wouldn't perish from this, would they?!

But then, they hear it. A loud cough somewhere across the room, followed by the sound of debris being shuffled about. A small smile forms at the corners of their mouth, all the tension suddenly seizing their body at their earlier fears draining away in an instant.

"Ugh...Yeah...Still alive. I take it...you made it too?"

"...What do you...think...?" Their voice sounded hoarse, parched and sore, like they needed a glass of water. They probably did, if they were out for a long while like they suspect.

"Good... I'd miss your stupid face if you did die from that."

Kuroji can just hear the wry grin they are making in their direction. Their heart skips a beat at what they were implying, but they pay it no heed. They didn't want to think about that when they were barely conscious as is.

"Shut up..." They shake their head gently (more to be mindful of it than to communicate properly), "What...happened...?"

"You mean you don't remember?"

"I do...Details are just...more than a little fuzzy..." Kuroji blinks rapidly, trying to clear their vision. And maybe, just maybe, find the strength to stand.

A groan, "You're no fun...Why can't you be like Yabusame and bounce back from a small explosion or two?"

"Because...I'm not Yabusame-kun? What kind of question...is that?" They try to roll their eyes. This is probably why they're never asked to help out during experiments. They ask too many questions, and can't take as much punishment.

Hell, Kuroji is pretty sure the only reason they got asked to be their assistant for this one was because they were the only one who could reliably catch Saragimaru!

Wait...

...Ah.

If Kuroji wasn't awake before, they were now. Their vision clears away to blinding lights, breath coming in short gasps. Everything was coming back to them now. And with it a very important question.

"Saragimaru...Where is Saragimaru?!"

"Gone, it seems. Must've busted out of their restraints after knocking that vial over," A sigh, followed by more shuffling of debris, "Ugh, inhaling so much pure mana could not have been good. Must've caused that explosion when it touched the bunsen burner too..."

Kuroji swallows hard. So that's what Tsubakura wanted Saragimaru for, huh? They long learned the hard way that you shouldn't mess with magic, but it seems they never got that message, now did they?

And considering how... spectacular, to put it mildly, Tsubakura's failures in the lab typically are...

"You told me...This was a simple venom extraction...Not some kind of experiment with fucking magic!" Kuroji hisses.

"Duh! If I had, you wouldn't have let me get past Step 1. Maybe Step 2 if I was lucky."

Kuroji grits their teeth. They can just hear the half-hearted shrug they were making at them. It made them want to punch the smug grin they knew they were making right off their face.

If only everything wasn't so, so sore...

That's when a hand enters their line of sight. Their eyes naturally follow the hand up to the figure above them.

Sure enough, it was Tsubakura Enraku, only a little worse for the wear. Their hat was crooked and their clothes had more than a few tears, but that was nothing a good patch job couldn't fix. They weren't in fact smirking like Kuroji thought they would be, but only because their eyes were wandering over their body, lips pressed into a feigned neutral line.

"Geez...Can you even move?" They ask, brows drawing together, "You don't...look so good."

Ah, there was the bite. They had a feeling they must've been injured in the accident. Probably in the back or a leg given how much those ache. Kuroji shudders as they take Tsubakura's hand, "I can move my arms at least..."

"That's somethin'. Now here's the better question: Can you walk?"

"That's...A very good question," They admit.

"Well then let's find out. On a one...On a two..."

Kuroji doesn't even get time to prepare themself. Not that Tsubakura ever does anything on three. Two, if you were lucky, and this time is no different. The next thing they know, they were being peeled away from the operating table, and yanked to their feet.

...

...They should not be walking.

"...Agh!" Kuroji bites down on their lip to keep from screaming. All they could focus on was the blinding pain radiating from their leg, impossible to keep on the ground.

When they became aware of their surroundings once more, Tsubakura had slung their arm around their neck, keeping them upright.

"Guess not..."

They help lift Kuroji onto the operating table. The restraints used to tie Saragimaru down were now mere ribbons of leather, some of which are scattered across the whole lab. The whole table is drenched in rainwater mixed with blood (that was probably Kuroji's from earlier). Whatever happened after their slave got loose, they did a damn good job destroying the lab, without ever even lifting a finger to harm either of them.

Which is, quite frankly, rather odd considering how much that snake likes to talk about their future slow, agonizing death. But the stressed look on Tsubakura's face brought them out of their intrusive worries and into their present ones.

Kuroji lays down without much of a fuss. Though they couldn't help themself when they ask, "What? Not gonna bring me back to your room for a...more further examination, as you typically call it?"

A snort escaped Tsubakura's throat, their tongue sticking out, "Oh hah hah. You must think yourself clever for throwing my words back in my face."

They shrug, "Perhaps a little. Like I could ever best you in that department, but I ought to take a little victory every once in a while, yes?"

"...I guess. Although it's kinda hard to take you back to my room with the number your stupid snake did to my lab entrance. So we're sitting ducks until Yabusame or Sensei can dig us out! ...Just to answer your question."

Their smirk doesn't reach their eyes. Kuroji lets their head fall back, letting out a deep breath they didn't realize they had took, "...How bad is it, Dr. Enraku?"

(They won't call them "Doc" like Hoojiro had. This smug ass who bewitched their sister does not deserve that informality, even now. Not that they ever, ever notice...)

"Well let's see..."

Tsubakura gets to work almost immediately. They start by grabbing their injured leg and feeling it up. Kuroji closes their eyes tightly, bracing for when they find the fracture.

"Hm...Mm?"

...The strike of agony never leaves its mark. Kuroji cracks open one eye, catching a glimpse of Tsubakura's pinched expression, a raised eyebrow the only hint as to its cause.

"...Well, you apparently don't have a fracture somehow. In fact, your leg would probably be working just fine if not for the impossible angle and the swelling."

...Huh? "How...?"

"I dunno," Tsubakura lets go of their leg, much to Kuroji's relief, "You have more symptoms of a broken bone healing wrong than an actual broken bone. Hence my confusion."

...That makes literally no sense, even by the madness of this lab's standards. Kuroji couldn't have been out for more than a day at most, and their leg was working just fine when they first came down here. So how could they have such an injury?

"Did you develop some kind of accelerated healing factor or something?" Tsubakura jokes, a wry grin plastering itself on their face, "Cause the only explanation I can think of is 'you broke your leg in the initial chaos and it healed itself wrong while you were out."

"No!" They shout. Then, the fight drains from their body as they stare up blankly at the ceiling, "At least...I don't think I have..."

But now that they had proposed the idea, it made a disturbing amount of sense. After all, now that they are really thinking about it, they didn't have a single scratch on their body besides the leg.

Neither did Tsubakura, for that matter. In fact, Kuroji swears they can see patches of scales on their hand, collar, face...

Kuroji must've made a face or something, because Tsubakura's eyes have widened, their delicate, tactile hands having turned to tight fists. (And were those claws where fingernails normally are?)

"Alright Kuroji, what's with the face? You don't just pale at anything, so what's wrong?"

They were...pale? They went pale? They were usually much better at hiding their more... cumbersome feelings, especially under Tsubakura's hawkish eyes. But they couldn't help it for this. Not when...When...

No...There's no way...

"...Forgive me for this. I just need to test a theory."

"Huh? What do you mean by-" And that's all they manage to get out before Kuroji's hand claws at their arm. Or at least tries to. Fatigue infecting every inch of their body meant only a couple red slashes were formed, but it was more than enough.

"Ngh!" Tsubakura staggers back, clutching their arm, "What the hell was that for?!"

"Testing a theory, like I said I was." Kuroji shakes their head, jaw hurting from how hard they were clenching it, "Watch."

Tsubakura yanks their sleeve down, revealing the red welds from Kuroji's "attack" once again, "What the hell could ever require you to-"

Their grumbling abruptly stops. Now they too are making a wide-eyed expression.

They both watch as the welds shrink, folding away, until all of it has faded back into Tsubakura's normal skin tone, good as new. Well that just proves it then, huh?

Kuroji's breath hitches, "Ah...I knew it. Thanks for being my willing test subject..."

They couldn't even snicker at Tsubakura's irritated snort. They were too busy wishing the operating table would fold in on them.

For if Tsubakura had the same accelerated healing factor they seem to have, and they were quickly...They don't even know at this point, then...

Then what did it mean for Kuroji themself?

Kuroji drags their hands up in front of their face. They look like their hands: normal human hands, with all the same old scars from countless injuries as they invent or dig. But then they notice how their fingernails are tipped, ever so slightly sharp. Hiding razor sharp talons, no doubt.

Just like Tsubakura's.

"...What are we?!" Kuroji asks with no recipient in mind, voice warbling from near hysteria. They knew the answer, but at least a question can be answered with a comforting lie, unlike the blanket statement their mind wanted them to confront.

"Human. At least I hope we still are..." Tsubakura replies, the waver in their voice uncomfortably noticeable. Never have they ever wanted them to be right about anything as hard as right now.

And yet, as they watch Tsubakura itch at their collar, the flaking off of skin to reveal similarly colored scales was going out of its way to prove them wrong. They look at the patch, then their nails, and all the certainty leaves their voice as they mumble a quiet, "Shit..."

If Tsubakura's pale expression was the expression they had pointed out Kuroji had, then that isn't a good sign at all. And to make matters worse, as if watching them do it triggered something inside them, various spots on their arm began to itch like mad, begging them to scratch at them.

They didn't want to, and yet their hand moves automatically to perform the motion. And sure enough, flakes of skins fell away to reveal scales of their own. Kuroji kept scratching at the scales, praying for it to all be a cruel prank, and found only pain and blood for their efforts.

And not even that lingered for longer than a moment. It was enough to drive even a hardened scoundrel like Kuroji Shitodo to tears.

"...What have you done?!"

"I dunno...Heh heh..." Tsubakura pants, their legs shaking. They rub their back, tears forming in their eyes, "I...probably shouldn't have done this...All of this...Should I?

"What...Do you think?" Kuroji huffs out, blinking back tears, "Whatever happens next, I want you to know this is all your fault. Even if you die."

Tsubakura reels back, as if slapped. It wasn't undeserved in the slightest. But even so, the pitiful way their figure seems to shamble back made a twinge of guilt stab Kuroji in the chest...

"Hah...I think...I'd deserve that...There's no coming back from this, is there?" They let out a light laugh, as if this was merely a prank gone awry. The scratching at their back becomes a full blown madness, a struggle to take off their vest and shirt even, "My back...Hurts like hell..."

And then, like someone had flipped their killswitch, Tsubakura falls backwards into an overturned table behind them. Kuroji doesn't have the energy to raise their head up to see, but from the sudden tearing and scratching at the ground, they didn't think they wanted to see what caused that.

And when that morphed into screams and muscles tearing, they knew they definitely didn't want to see.

It's so funny...They think to themself as a throbbing started in their backside, I wanted to see Tsubakura scream someday.

But not like this. Never like this...

They wanted to take those last words full of venom back. Apologize even. But as the throbbing worsened and worsened into full blown burning, Kuroji's remorse left in favor of bracing for agony.

After all, this was only the beginning of a long, long transformation. Days of agony awaited both of them, no doubt.

They close their eyes, sobs echoing as their body prepares itself for its next phase. All they can do is sink into the biting metal of the operating table, and hope someone, anyone, manages to find them sooner rather than later.

And hopefully before both of them lose their minds.

Psst, hey! My requests are still open! Checked these two links here for details in the tags!

[fideidefenswhore]

"She was a ruthless woman who injured many, myself and my sainted mother included. She was quite capable of playing the King false, I promise you. My advice to you, Sister, is to forget you ever had a mother like that." Elizabeth caught the note of obsessive grievance in Mary's voice. She knew instinctively that it would be unwise to provoke her further by arguing with her. "Forgive me, Sister, but I had heard otherwise," she said simply. "Then you heard wrongly. She had me sent to wait upon you when you were a baby, and she told those that had charge of me to beat me for the little bastard I had become. How could you think such a one innocent?" "I am very sorry for your afflictions, Sister," Elizabeth whispered, aware more of the need to be diplomatic than of the desire to defend her mother. "They were not of my making, nor my desire." "How could you think her innocent?" "I heard things," she answered, then grew a touch defiant. "The whole world does not think my mother guilty."

The Lady Elizabeth [Chapter 8: 1544], Alison Weir

[sysig]

Ughhhhhhh

[ssaalexblake]

like due to the new photo editor i am Definitely quitting making episode gifsets like that will make it impossible :/ 

[daphwritesworld]

Chapter 3— Fool.

a/n: welcome back to the Be My Baby series! Sorry y'all, I left with some with friends and it went on waaaaay longer than I thought it would lol. I'm gonna break this chapter up into 2 parts so I can get it posted tonight. So an extra chapter will be added!! Chapter 4 will just be the part 2 of this one, and after that it'll be back on schedule. Oh and don't worry— chapter 4 will be out tomorrow btw!! that's where the big boy angst comes on. so y'all are safe until then. thank you for your support and happy reading < 3

(p.s. sorry I didn't proof read this again, lol. I will later & edit any details that need touching up. Again sorry this is late, but I hope getting part two and the Keira fic tomorrow will make up for it haha.)

content: sick!Reader, caretaker!Leah, straight up no smut (CRAZY I KNOOOOOW), mostly fluff, and some angst.

warnings: talks of not hydrating & eating properly, the flu, A&E/ER, confusion caused by sickness

synopsis: You wake up sick and you call the only person you can think of for help.

word count: 3.0k

Series Masterlist: here.

!! 18+ MINORS DNI !!

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━♥♠♥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

The sound of your alarm doesn’t jolt you awake this morning. You’re already lying wide awake before it rolls around this time. You’d woken up early and your mind drifted to Leah, your whole situation together, barca, and the inevitable moment when they all come crashing together like a high speed train accident. Is it severely toxic and self destructive? Oh for sure…but who’s gonna stop you?

You stretch out your limbs as you set up in bed, turning off your alarm as you settle back into your own skin. There’s a rolling storm of anxiety filling your gut, and as your feet touch the ground it flies up to your throat. You run to the bathroom and barely make it to the toilet in time, emptying out your stomach contents. Which at the moment is just your bile. The sweating must’ve started when you were in bed; because you quickly notice the dampness of your shirt from the temperature drop in the bathroom. The cold tiles seep through Leah’s sweats and chill your body down. You shiver after a few minutes, staying seated on the floor as you take a moment to catch your breath.

You make quick work of going to grab your phone and sending your boss a quick message. As soon as it's sent you make your way to the shower. It's only when you bend down to take your pants off that you realize how sick you truly are. Your vision goes blurry and your head starts floating in and out of dizziness. You slowly lower your body, your hands making contact with the floor as you set yourself down. It's then that the headache starts— like your brain is pounding against your forehead on repeat. It's sharp and never ending, leaving you to crumble down into tears.

You don't have a car, and even if you did— you are in no state to operate a vehicle right now, and you definitely don't feel confident enough to order a taxi like this. So you are left with one option. One you know you're gonna regret when you're not sick and delusional, but it's the one thing your broken mind can think of…You call Leah. You crawl across the tiled floor and get your phone off the counter, dialing her number as you pray she picks up. And of course she does, because by the third ring her voice is greeting you through the speakers. "I knew you couldn't resist me, darling. I've just been wait—"

"Le…" you cut her off with a sob of her nickname. Your head is painfully throbbing now, and your mouth is so dry your throat is scratchy. She can tell just from the small amount of your voice she hears.

"y/n, hey— what's wrong? I'm on my way, alright? I'll be there soon, just stay on the phone with me," Leah's moving before the first word even leaves her mouth. She's leaving her breakfast on the table as she slips mismatching shoes on her feet. Running out of her flat with nothing but her keys and her phone in her hands.

"Something's wrong, Le. I'm sick and I-I..I'm sorry. I didn't know who else to call," your voice breaks at the end. It's like a knife plunging into Leah's heart as she hears it; the absolute brokenness of your words. She knows there's a deeper meaning behind your them, but she won't push it. Leah knows any of the girls would come to help you in a heartbeat, so what's got you believing otherwise? Or maybe the better question is, who has you believing otherwise? She'll investigate that later.

"Hey, hey, calm down. You're alright, love. Take a deep breath for me, okay? I'll be there before you know it, and we'll get you to the doctor," Leah's voice would normally calm you down, but your brain is still running a million miles per minute…and it's only making you feel worse. It's like you can't focus on a singular thought, and the confusion only fuels your distress. Leah presses down on the gas pedal when she doesn't get a response from you. She can only hear your cries filling up the empty space of her car. She gets to your building in record time, and only then does she realize she didn't bring her wallet.

"God dammit," she chastises herself under her breath, trying to not let you hear her frustration as she searches for a on-street parking spot. She just had to forget you live in a fancy ass building with paid parking, today of all days. "I'm parking now, love. I'll be up in a few minutes." Thankfully she gets one across the street, rummaging through her center console for some change coins. She puts way more than needed in the parking meter, but that's not her main priority right now. "I need you tell me if the door's unlocked, okay? I know you don't feel well, but can you unlock it if it is?"

You close your eyes as you take a deep breath, gathering all your mental strength to answer her. "N-No. There's a key under t-the welcome mat though…I don't think I can walk by myself. I-I'm so sorry, Leah," you can't stop the embarrassment from filling your body. You hate having to ask people for help— especially when you need it the most. It makes you feel weak, helpless, and like a burden. It's a deep seated insecurity you can't seem to shake, but it's not like you've really ever tried to correct it. We all know Leah's stubborn, but you? You can be even worse than her. It's not like you mean to be, but you're just…broken. In more ways than even you would like to admit.

Leah sees right through it though— she always has. She is the one person in your life that sees you for who you are. Not the persona you put up for the rest of the world. You two may of only spent a short time together that year ago, but oh what an impact it made. Spending every waking second with a person for weeks on end does something to a person. You either ending up hating each other, falling in love, or whatever the fuck you two got going on.

"You don't need to be sorry, y/n. You definitely need a better hiding spot for your spare though, that's just bloody awful! You're asking for a break in!" Leah feels herself get a little frustrated as she retrieves your key. Her voice picking up into a scolding tone as she jiggles with your doorknob. You whimper out as you move the phone from your ear, the slight rise in her voice making your head hurt more. "Too loud," you say as she walks into your home. She makes sure to shut the door lightly, before smacking herself in the forehead for raising her voice with you. "I'm sorry, love. I just worry about you. Now which room are you in?"

"My bathroom," your voice sounds so small now. Like a child getting in trouble.

"I'm on my way to you now, okay?" Leah says as she climbs the stairs. Her eyes flit over your walls and she notices the lack of pictures. You have bare hallways and they look so, so lonely. She walks into your bedroom and she sees the void of no decor or really any of your things at all. It makes her sad, but mostly it leaves her wanting to ask more questions. Questions she knows she can't ask right now, but will get the answers to someway.

Nothing could have prepared Leah for what she sees behind the wooden door of your bathroom. You're clad in a mist of sweat, all the color drained from your face, and you're shaking like a leaf. It isn't until she's running up to you and falling to her knees that she sees the extent of your state. Your pants are still sitting halfway down your thighs, and Leah quickly moves to redress you. She makes sure not to look at you inappropriately, only doing what's needed to get you comfortable and less exposed. She knows how vulnerable you are right now, and she's doing everything she can to make sure you're okay. She sheds her Arsenal hoodie off, sliding it over your head as she encourages you to push your arms through.

“Hey love, let’s get you stood up– that’s it.” She helps you get to your feet, letting you lean all your body weight onto her. Leah guides you back towards your bed, sitting you on the edge as she goes to grab a pair of your shoes. It doesn't take her long before she's rejoining you and sliding some slip-ons over your feet. she pats your legs when she's down, looking up to see your disheveled appearance. "You ready to go?"

"Mhm," you nod your head along. Talking is only making your headache worse, so you've opted for noises instead.

With that, Leah is helping you back up. But before you can rest your weight back onto her side, she's picking you up bridal style. Your arms instinctively go to wrap around her neck, burying your face in the warmth of her embrace. You don't have the energy to argue with her, and honestly it's a relief to not have to walk right now. She carries you like you weigh nothing, shutting and locking your door like she isn't holding an entire human being. If you didn't feel like death you'd be obsessing over how hot she is, but right now you're just thankful.

You must've fallen asleep, because the next thing you know you're waking up in a A&E bed. You blink a few times to adjust to the lights above you, small groans slipping out as you try to stretch the cramped feeling out of your limbs. Then you hear her softly speaking on the phone across the room, and you go back to lying still. You close your eyes as you focus on trying to hear her conversation. "I know I should've called first, but you didn't see her. She couldn't even stand on her own, and she fell asleep in my arms before we even made it to her building elevator! She's in bad shape, and I'm not just gonna leave her here all alone in a country she doesn't fucking know. I'm the Captain and it's my responsibility to look after everyone— I don't fucking care that she's not a player! She's on our team, our crew, and she deserves our support. Call me back when you get your head out of your ass," and with that she hangs up.

You try and force yourself to just back to sleep and forget everything you've heard, but of course that's not how things work out. Your stomach starts turning again, complicating feelings swirling around with the uneasiness. The tears come falling down your cheeks before your eyes even open, your chest starting to tighten up as the sobs claw at your lungs to get out. It feels like you can't breathe, and honestly maybe you aren't. Not as you see flashbacks of Barca passing through your memory, a wave of dread blanketing over your body.

"What hurts, love? Do I need to get the nurse?" Leah's by your side the second she notices, a hand out grasping your forearm. Her fingers dance little patterns into your skin, and it actually starts to ground you. "Come on, take deep breaths with me again, okay?"

You nod your head, and then she's holding both your hands. You follow her lead as she sucks in a slow breath and holds it, before exhaling just as slow. She repeats the process with you until you're calmed all the way down. It doesn't take too long, but honestly Leah isn't going to leave you anytime soon anyway. "Nothing hurts," you say it so softly she barely hears it. Your eyes stay locked down onto the bed sheets below you, never making any eye contact with her.

"Then why were you crying, y/n?"

"Because I heard you on the phone…and I don't know. I guess I freaked out, and went spiraling into a self hate hole for a second. I'm okay, really."

"oh bloody hell! I'm so sorry you heard that, darling. I should've went into the hall or something—"

"It's okay, Le. I'm just sensitive, and really really delulu from whatever sickness I currently have…plus it was nice to hear you stick up for me, Captain."

"The mystery sickness is indeed just a bad case of the flu…but uhm, the doctor said it was made worse from you being dehydrated and probably not eating enough from the looks of your blood work. I'm not gonna judge you or yell at you. But I am taking you home with me when they discharge you. I'm your official caregiver until you're well enough to take after yourself again," Leah doesn't let go of your hand as she says it. She tries to connect your gazes, but you don't allow it. Actively avoiding her eyes as you feel them burrowing holes into your skull.

You wish you could argue with her and tell her she's wrong…but you can't. You've been skipping out on meals ever since you moved here. It's not been on purpose, you just haven't been able to eat. It's like your body hates the idea of eating, always growing nauseous after every few bites. So you've been drinking some meal replacements…not enough apparently. "Okay."

"…Okay? Really? That was a whole lot easier than I thought it would be," Leah is staring at you with her biggest look of, 'be so for real, bitch' written across her face. But you just shrug as you sink back into the uncomfortable mattress underneath you. You're so mentally and physically wore out right now, there's just no fight left inside you. Right as you're about to re-close your eyes, the doctor finally comes back in. After getting the run down from him, he lets you know that you can be discharged and to pick up your antibiotics before going home. Leah helps you redress again, and this time it has you giggling at the way she makes her eyes go anywhere but at your naked body.

"Hold on…how'd you get the doctor to tell you what was wrong with me before I even woke up? Aren't there some rules against that?"

"…I might have told everyone that you're my fiancé," Leah smiles at you nervously.

"Fuck you, Williamson! Take yourself on that date Thursday!"

"Oh, so you're finally agreeing that it's a date?" Leah smirks at you, only hearing the parts of what she wants to hear.

"Well, I guess we'll never know, now will we?"

She rolls her eyes at you for that, holding her hand out for you to take. And you do, still leaning against her some to walk. She helps you to the car, and once you're both secure she's driving you to your new home for the next few days…or weeks. God you hope only days. It feels weird to be back inside a house with another person, and it's extra fucking weird that it's Leah. You know this stay is when you have to put down some boundaries with her. To stop whatever there is between the two of you. It makes the previous pit in your stomach increase by double, because deep down you know you care about her...you're just lying to yourself about it. You can push every feeling down your throat, but they will all come spilling out at some point. That's what you've learned to be true over the years, but will you accept that as truth? Hell no! At least not anytime soon. Your worst problem is that you always get in your own way.

When she finally gets you inside, Leah starts cooking and letting her mind wonder to think of you. More importantly to the phone call you overheard in the A&E. She'd been talking with her manager, and completely snapped on him. He'd said something about how Leah 'follows you around like a lost puppy' and well…. it hurt her fucking feelings. Of course she isn't doing all of this just because she's one sided sickly in love with you…right? Sure she thinks of you literally every second of the day, and she's been day dreaming of you for the past year, but that's all totally normal...RIGHT?

Leah doesn't get to spiral into her romanic crisis for too long, because before she knows it the timers going off. She drains the gnocchi before putting it in a bowel for you, making her way back to the living room where she left you. She laughs at the sight that greets her— you snuggled up asleep in her Arsenal hoodie she'd given you when she first saw you. Leah just sets the gnocchi aside on the coffee table, opting to cuddle you instead of waking you up. She pulls you onto her body, your face resting on her chest as she tries to adjusts you without waking you up.

She finds herself running her fingers through your hair, and before long they're running softy across the features of your face. Leah lets a deep sigh come out of her chest. She truly feels like a fucking fool. Leah doesn't chase girls— they chase her. So for the first time in this game, she is the one crying. She's clinging onto any crumb of attention you'll give her, and she'll keep doing it for as long as it takes. Leah has you sleeping against her chest once again, and it's nothing like she's day dreamed of. You two aren't confessing your feelings, running around town making memories, or god forbid actually dating…but she'll keep feeling like a fool and waiting on you. She'll keep searching for your love until she finds it, because she knows she's felt flashes of it. She knows that carefree, wild, truly happy girl from Ibiza is still inside of you somewhere. Leah doesn't know what took that extra bright sparkle out of your eyes, but she is determined to see it light up your face back up.

[hellsitedotcom]

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

*·˚ FIRST KISS HEADCANONS : PART ONE *·˚

ft. Aventurine, Moze.

My brain doesn't work properly, which means I ain't happy with anything I write when it comes to prompts/longer drabbles, so here's another round of Headcanons 'cause, uhhh, I had a random thought. (Unfortunately cursed to have those) EDIT: This...escalated a tiiiiiny bit, buuuut (as much as I hate my writing) I don't rlly mind.

*·˚ warnings/info: well, there's obviously going to be mentions of kissing; mentions of alcohol/drinking (Aventurine); Sunday's escalated so much, I had to make it a separate post lol. *·˚ english isn't my native language!

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

⭒˚｡⋆ Aventurine ⭒˚｡⋆

⇢ I'll be frank: It probably happened while you were both drinking, just ''unwinding'' and ending up having a rather good time. You were sat at a bar way longer than you should've - the employees really just wanted to get home, but you two just...weren't leaving.

⇢ You were sat further away, obscured by room dividers, only your voices audible to anyone else. Aventurine had been teasing you since you agreed to go drink something with him, and now you were both at a point at which he felt like...taking risks.

⇢ He had asked you for a simple game of poker, winner gets granted a wish - but the loser will only find out what the winner wants after the game; were you in, or were you out? And you, slightly drunk, agreed after only a few seconds. What could possibly go wrong?

⇢ And he won - of course he did. What else did you expect? But you were laughing, joking how you had nearly beat him; still in a good mood, you waited for him to tell you his wish - his ''demand''; and he did, your eyes widening for mere seconds, before you granted it.

''Royal Flush,'' Aventurine triumphantly laughed, displaying the cards on the table between you, ''I win, sunshine.'' You just groaned, though you didn't hide the amusement in your expression, ''Oh, you definitely rigged that. There's no way, come on.'' ''Well, at least I almost got you,'' you added more quietly, chuckling while he collected all the cards you had used. ''I simply don't lose,'' he countered, smirking at you as he leaned closer, a motion you followed curiously, ''I thought you would've noticed by now.'' You merely scoffed, rolling your eyes without hiding your smile, ''Sure, sure, Mr. Gambler.'' ''You just got lucky,'' you hummed in a teasing manner, leaning further across the table, ''So, what's your wish?'' Aventurine held your gaze, unwavering, and even in the dim lighting of the bar, you could tell that he was thinking. A part of you wanted to regret agreeing to this, but the other part - the louder part - only grew more intrigued. For a moment, his eyes dropped to your lips - so quickly that you thought you had imagined it - before his lips parted, your eyes widening the slightest bit at his words, ''How about a kiss?'' You could feel your face heat up, a wave of different emotions momentarily taking over your expression before you collected yourself again. ''Just a kiss?'' you repeated, making sure you had heard him right. ''Just a kiss,'' Aventurine confirmed, slightly tilting his head, ''Only if you're comfortable, that is.'' Silence settled after that, your mind still processing his wish. Despite how lost in your thoughts you were, you could notice Aventurine grow...unsure? No, that wasn't really it... You were taking too long, and the man was beginning to wonder if you would back out. And just as he was about to repeat himself, making sure you knew that you didn't have to kiss him if you didn't want to, you crossed the space between the two of you, your lips crashing against his. You weren't even thinking, merely acting on instinct...on a feeling deep inside you, an urge you had been fighting for months. The second your lips had touched his, all your restrain had vanished, and Aventurine didn't seem to be feeling any different as he reciprocated your kiss, a hand coming up to rest on your neck, pulling you even closer. Neither of you could get enough, your hands resting on the table between, but all good things have to come to an end, don't they? As you tried moving even closer, breathless from the things he was doing to you, a loud buzzing noise interrupted the two of you, making you pull apart. ''The IPC...'' Aventurine groaned, visibly annoyed as he stared at his phone screen. He had to take the call, you both knew it. And, before the man could decide if he was willing to take another risk by pressing on decline, the bar staff came up to you, informing you that it was time to leave for you anyway...

⇢ You didn't sleep much that night, or the nights that followed, your mind too busy replaying that kiss over and over again. The next time you saw Aventurine again, neither of you mentioned the night at the bar, though from the way he looked at you alone, you knew you weren't the only one unable to forget it.

⭒˚｡⋆ Moze ⭒˚｡⋆

⇢ This came to me in a prophetic dream (listening to music & daydreaming), and I am a firm believer that your first kiss happened...on accident, almost. In a situation that...how did it even come to that?

⇢ You were sat beside him, hiding in the ''shadows'' away from everyone else while Moze was patrolling the area. There...wasn't really a need to do it, but it was Moze, so you didn't really question it. And while he was taking all of this seriously, you were just...laying in the sunlight, having a wonderful time.

⇢ At one point, you had just started talking, asking brief questions or sharing thoughts with him, which he - though somewhat reluctantly - replied to. Eventually, you'd even gotten him to learn over to you, and as you held his gaze in that moment, it just...came over you.

⇢ Maybe it was the fact that you were having a good day, the sunlight making you feel so alive and full of energy. Or, maybe it simply was the man's captivating presence, making you feel like you were admiring a painting. Regardless of the reason, the urge to learn in had taken over.

''I mean, I guess I just don't understand it,'' you rambled, emphasizing your confusion with your hands, ''Why make everything so much more complicated than it has to be, you know? Artisans can be a really odd bunch.'' You were lying on your back, staring up at the sunny sky as waterfall after waterfall of thoughts fell from your lips, when Moze suddenly leaned over, allowing his arm to rest beside your head. ''You talk too much,'' he huffed expressionlessly, making you fall silent as you dragged your eyes up to meet his gaze. ''Maybe you just don't talk enough,'' you quipped back, your lips twitching in amusement, ''Besides, if it bothered you, you wouldn't have stuck around me this long. We both know that.'' The man just grunted, focusing back on the crowd underneath you, ''Just try to be more quiet. I'm not helping you if we get spotted.'' ''Of course,'' you hummed, not believing a word he was saying, earning you another discontent grunt from him. Your smile just grew at that, eyes still glued to the man standing beside you. ''Just admit it, big guy,'' you teased, slightly tilting your head to get a better look at him, ''You enjoy my company.'' That made Moze turn back again, violet eyes boring into yours as he leaned over once again, making a swarm of butterflies awaken in your stomach, ''Is that so?'' His face was mostly obscured by shadows, hidden by the hood he always wore while you laid in the sun, yet her gentle warmth was entirely forgotten as you held the man's gaze, ''Tell me I'm wrong?'' Moze was quiet, just watching you wordlessly. You couldn't tell what he was thinking, but you realized the longer you stared at him, the less you cared about his answer to your counter. You were too busy getting lost in a daydream, drowning in his eyes, when a sudden urge came over you. What if you just-? Your inner voice didn't even need to finish the question, your body moving on its own as you propped yourself up, not even giving the man any time to react as you pressed your lips against his. Moze seemed to freeze under your touch, unmoving at first, until you felt his hand rest against your chin, tilting your head to deepen the kiss. His patrol all but forgotten, the man's lips began moving against yours until you pulled away to catch your breathe, your heart racing. ''I-'' You wanted to say something, but your mind, despite the hurricane of thoughts tormenting it, couldn't form a coherent sentence, so you just continued staring at him, eyes searching his expression for anything - any sign that this meant something to him. But you never got that answer as the man took a step back, letting go of you, Moze's expression as blank as a canvas. He was still looking at you, watching as your previously cheery expression began to falter, yet he remained quiet as you struggled to find the right words.

⇢ You didn't get any reaction out of Moze that day, nor did you ever calm down enough to actually say something to him in that moment. Eventually, Moze merely continued his patrol, telling you he needed to move to the next location before disappearing without waiting for a reply.

⇢ Since then, you've been...well, on one hand you've been trying to avoid him, but on the other hand, you still hoped you would catch a glimpse of him regardless of where you went. And, while you thought he probably never thought about the moment you shared, Moze felt the exact same way as you.

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

[inthelittlewood]

Would you say you are happy with how you did in secret life?

Episodes 1-8 yeah, episode 9 nah

A bit of BTS is that we filmed 8/9 together but we started filming 9 at about 10:15pm and I was at the yogs office where I was told lock up happened at 11:15 so I realistically had to be wrapped by 11 to properly shut down and get my things together

It's why I had such a lame death and played what looked to be foolishly at the end. It's also why I wasn't very 'present' in my usual persona, it was horrible having to be so mindful of the clock.. never again!

I'd just done a 2 hour drive, then a panicked hour of altering an existent PC setup to be recording ready, then one whole session, followed by what would be ep 9.. After a 7am wake up with the little ones, that all meant I was SPENT by the evening. Long ass day.

So I'm disappointed in my finale on all fronts, massively, but it's the first (and hopefully only) time that's happened so I can't complain too much.

I had thought I could salvage it in the edit a bit more but once I did the rough cut it became apparent that I just didn't have much to work with so I couldn't muster that motivation to even try..

I hope y'all enjoyed the other 85% of it regardless as I was really proud of that!

(I pinky promise I'm cool with it and I have a sense of relief knowing I'm done with recording sessions for 2023 now, you don't need to gas up the finale for my sake. It's mechanically a weak video so please don't lol)

Reminder: Store closes on the 18th so get the Life series merch while you still can

[aventurineswife]

im under the assumption that requests are open, so uhmmmm

ahem-

can i request Aventurine giving Reader a hug or whatever physical affection, and Reader starts crying because of that? (Reader is crying because it's been a long time since they were last touched/held, and the thought of someone wanting to touch/hold them is very scary. even the sensation behind being touched/held is almost overstimulating, despite how badly they want to be held)

i know my request is, uh, oddly specific ?? hope that's ok with you tho 🧍‍♂️ im one of the few dorks out there that is so touch-starved that i cry when it happens lol,,, it's not that i hate touch, my brain just can't register it.

“If you hold me without hurting me, you'll be the first who ever did”

Summary: After a long time without any physical affection, you’re overwhelmed when Aventurine gives you a comforting hug. The sensation is almost too much, and you break down, finally allowing yourself to be vulnerable. Aventurine reassures you with gentle words and a steady presence, letting you know he’s there for you whenever you need.

Tags: Aventurine x Reader, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Emotional Vulnerability, Reassurance, Established Relationship.

Warnings: Emotional Overwhelm, Touch Starvation, Reader Crying.

A/N: Don’t worry, Rose! My requests are open, so feel free to drop yours whenever you like! ;) And don’t worry, your requests aren’t weird or anything—actually, they’re cute and wholesome. 🤧🥺 I can also relate to the touch-starved feeling, though I’m uncomfortable with people touching me without consent (trauma). I’d be fine with holding hands or arms, though. :') Hope you enjoy this! And remember, you're valid! 💖🌹🫂 *Sending virtual hugs <33*

Sorry this uh rushed and I didn't edit it properly and got to your request late :')

The room was quiet, save for the soft murmur of the city outside. Aventurine led you in, his gentle hand resting on your back. You felt your pulse race as he guided you to sit on the sofa, his easy confidence steadying you as you took a shaky breath. Tonight, he’d traded his playful banter for a quieter presence. His usual grin softened, and his eyes were filled with something far more tender.

You sat beside him, hands twisting nervously in your lap, feeling that comforting warmth radiating off him. Despite how close he was, you couldn’t shake the distance you felt from it, as if an invisible wall held you back. It was as though you were tethered to a feeling you couldn’t escape—something that had kept you from letting anyone close for so long.

“Are you alright?” Aventurine’s voice was low and gentle, his words laced with concern. He reached out, brushing a lock of hair behind your ear, the gesture simple, yet it felt like a landslide of emotion.

And then, without another word, he drew you into his arms, pulling you close against his chest. The sudden warmth, his touch, the feeling of his heart beating steadily—it was too much. A wave of sensation hit you, so foreign yet so needed, and before you could stop yourself, tears blurred your vision.

You hadn’t been held like this in so long, hadn’t felt this kind of closeness. It scared you, left you trembling in his embrace as the ache in your chest spilled over into silent sobs. Every part of you was screaming that this was wrong, that you couldn’t trust it, that you shouldn’t let yourself need it so badly. Yet Aventurine held you tightly, his presence unwavering, silently urging you to let go.

“Hey… you’re safe here,” he whispered, a hand rubbing slow circles along your back. “I’ve got you.”

You felt his hand press against your back, steady and comforting, grounding you with each small touch. His other hand cupped the back of your head, cradling you as though you were the most fragile thing in the world. His words, low and close to your ear, were soft promises that left no room for doubt.

The tears came harder, and you pressed your face into his shoulder, feeling the fabric of his coat against your cheek. You clung to him, fingers clutching the back of his shirt as though he might disappear if you let go. Every part of you felt exposed, vulnerable in a way that was terrifying, yet liberating.

“I’m sorry...” you managed, voice muffled against him.

“For what?” He shifted slightly, pulling back just enough to look at you. His eyes, usually playful and glinting with mischief, were filled with nothing but understanding and warmth. “There’s nothing to apologize for.”

Your words choked up, and you simply shook your head, a fresh wave of tears welling up. You couldn’t explain it; it was too raw, too deeply ingrained in every wall you’d ever built around yourself. But Aventurine seemed to understand. He stayed, hands gently brushing up and down your back, thumb tracing soothing circles along your shoulder.

And in that moment, for the first time in ages, you felt safe. The warmth, the steadiness of his heartbeat, the quiet strength in his hold—it reminded you that maybe it was okay to let yourself be held, to be cared for, even if it was overwhelming. His hand found yours, fingers entwining, grounding you in the here and now.

“Whenever you need this,” he murmured, his voice steady and filled with reassurance, “I’m here. And I’m not going anywhere.”

The promise lingered in the quiet, like a lifeline you hadn’t realized you’d been waiting for. You let yourself lean into him, allowing the tears to finally fall as he held you, the world slipping away until it was just the two of you, wrapped in warmth, safety, and an unspoken promise of more moments like this—of a love that was patient enough to wait.

This is so Aventurine 😪💛

[janitorhutcherson]

bedtime with mike and abby ( mike schmidt x reader)

hi guys! this is my first ever lil fic/imagine/blurb here!! if y'all like this, I'll keep it up. I'm also new to tumblr, so please please be patient with me. in the future i'd love to do requests.

also if someone wants to help me with formatting/be friends, just shoot me a msg :p

this is just a quick lil imagine/blurb. I've seen so many smutty fics and i wanted to spice it up w/ some fluff. just sleepy time on mike's night off! on w the fic :p

*edit* this isn’t revised!! i threw something together last min and posted cause i felt like writing lol. don’t mind the typos

word count: 1,633

warnings: none! just fluff, angst if u squint!!

summary: nighttime with mike and abby on his day off!

Most of the time, you, your boyfriend Mike, and his little sister Abby were on entirely different schedules. Mike worked nights at a shitty gas station job for the time being after his job at Freddy's was... well.. no more for obvious reasons. Even though he swore off the night shift, this was necessary until he could find something better. Jobs were sparse at the moment, and Mike's history didn't exactly make him a star candidate.

A typical night would consist of you making the three of you dinner, slowly forcing Abby to venture out when it came to her taste buds. Recently, she'd taken a liking to tacos. You and Mike would make a joint effort to get her ready for bed earlier together, as Mike was more particular about being there for her since the incident. She'd get a bath, get into her jammies, and the two of you would tuck her in with a bedtime story. You'd both kiss her little forehead goodnight, then kiss your boyfriend on his lips before sending him off.

Most nights, you tossed and turned in your sleep, unable to rest properly without Mike by your side. A painfully dull feeling would rest in your stomach, the lack of his warmth beside you agonizing. You'd spend all night waiting for 6am to roll around as you felt the bed dip on his side, barely stirring you from your sleep. You'd have thirty minutes until your alarm went off, thirty minutes to wrap yourself up into him before you once again went on your separate ways... living your separate lives until you could have your few hours of union later on.

But tonight, you were lucky. Mike had gotten the next few days off. His job was being extra kind as they actually recognized the hard work Mike put in, something he wasn't used to. They'd told him someone would take over for a bit, to enjoy himself, to rest. It may have been a low-paying, trashy, borderline dangerous job, but his boss was nice, and the customers were certainly safer to deal with than those at the pizzeria.

You called out sick from work, not wanting to miss a single second with your little trio. You'd both even made the decision to pull Abby out of school for the day, spending it building forts, watching movies, and eating ice cream. The three of you even went out rollerskating, Mike awkwardly tumbling every few seconds on the rink as Abby would bust out laughing at him. The three of you were now sat around on the couch, Mike smooshed into the far side of the armrest as your entire body lay on his, Abby's head resting in your lap as she sleepily blinked her eyes. She'd already had her bath, brushed her teeth, and all three of you were in your pajamas.

"So, everyone have a good day?" Mike asked, turning his head to the two of you with a small but sleepy smile.

"Mhm," Abby hummed quietly, slowly nodding her head against your lap. It was clear that she was moments from passing out, and once Abby was out, she was impossible to get up without a fight.

"Okay, I think it's time for bed," you giggled, slowly lifting your own head up from Mike's shoulder. Mike nodded in agreement, a laugh of his own escaping his lips.

You both slowly pulled Abby up, getting her up on her feet, her half asleep state making her delirious as she wiped her eyes with the back of her hand, staring back at the two of you in confusion.

"C'mon, Abs, it's time for bed," Mike muttered, standing up. He grabbed your hand, pulling you up with him. You stood as well, following Mike as he led Abby to her room. She crawled up into her bed, her little body tucking under her blankets as the two of you sat on both sides of her.

"Want a bedtime story?" Mike asked, raising his eyebrows as he leaned down to press a small kiss to Abby's forehead. Abby's lips parted to answer, but before she could, her eyes were closed and she was out. A sincere and quiet chuckle escaped underneath Mike's breath, his eyes full of love for his sister as her stared down at her. You couldn't help but stare, the edges of your mouth turning up into a sleepy smile of your own. He was so majestic, his messy but soft brown curls were laying in every which way on his head. Even though he was much more rested than usual, his eyes were still somewhat sunken in, but to you, that just made him more attractive. His scruff was messy, unshaven, but it managed to highlight his jawline. The sparkle that remained in his eyes, even through it all, after everything that he'd been through, warmed you to your core, your love for him overwhelming.

"What?" Mike asked quietly with a smile still plastered on his lips, his eyes now locked on yours. A blush crossed your cheeks as you realize you’d been caught, your eyebrows raising.

“Nothin’,” you hummed, shaking your head. “Just admiring you.” Your hand reached out to his as the two of you went to your own bedroom, the only light now lighting up your house being the moonlight and street lamps peeking through the blinds. You both crawled into bed, pulling the blankets over your bodies.

There was nothing but silence other than the sound of the fan in your room, the hum almost hypnotic as you wrapped yourself up in his arms. Your head rest against his chest as he instantly tugged you closer, his back flat on the bed as his hand cradled your side. His thumb drew small figure eights on your shoulder. Your body felt fuzzy, a type of relaxation you hadn’t felt at night in a while. Mike made you feel safe. On nights where you two were able to just snuggle up, nothing could buzz in your mind. Anxious thoughts disappeared, even the ones that seemed to be a constant in the back of your brain. There was nothing but a warmness in your mind and a beam of love in your heart.

“Hey, baby?” You heard Mike ask softly, his voice cracking from his sleepiness. You were broken from your train of thought by this, looking up at the man with the sleepy eyes. “Hm?” You hummed in response, your eyes fluttering, but he couldn’t see due to the lack of light. Mike sat up, pulling you up with him as he grabbed your hands, both of your faces now lit up by the light peeking through the cracks in your curtain.

“I- I know we don’t get nights like these much, and I’m sorry. I’m sorry I’m never home, I’m sorry you have to do so much for you and Abby alone. I’m sorry I dragged you into that mess with Freddy’s, got you involved in so much of this,” he said, his voice seeping with sadness and regret. His eyes held an even softer emotion than they did earlier, one that felt like a knife to your chest. “Most importantly, I’m sorry I can’t be the boyfriend I should be. I mean, we should be spending our nights out at clubs, going out on special dates and vacations, and I hate that I’m unable to give you that,” he sniffled, a tear now falling down his eye.

You leaned forward, a frown on your lips as your eyebrows furrowed, your eyes locked on his as you placed your hand on his cheek, wiping away the tear with your thumb as you shook your head. Mike’s own two much larger hands were now placed on both of your cheeks as he continued. “But listen, Y/N, I love you, more than I have ever loved anyone, okay? I- I’m not good at this shit, I know I’m not. I’m clumsy and I’m bad at emotions. I don’t always know what I want or what I need, but I know I don’t only want you, but I need you. You came into my life and you brightened it where it was the darkest. You brought happiness back, you made me understand what joy was again, what it was like to feel.. complete. You saved me, but..” he trailed off again, full on tears falling down his cheeks now. “Most importantly, you saved Abby, made her feel whole again too, gave her somethin’ like a mother, something I couldn’t give her,” he said, his voice breaking at the end. Before he could say another word, you wrapped around arms around him, pulling him into a massive bear hug. He buried his head into the crook of your neck, your mind not even focused on the salty tears and the snotty nose that was leaned up against your shoulder. Your hands rubbing his back as you kissed the top of his head.

“Oh, baby..” you whispered softly, squeezing him like if you let go he’d disappear. “You know I love you so much too…” you finished, pulling his face up by his chin, pressing a soft, gentle but electric kiss to his lips. The two of you then settled back into bed, curling up in each other’s arms as he played with your hair, occasionally leaning down to press a gentle kiss to your lips, small sniffles still leaving his nose from the emotional moment. He was right, it was rare you got moments like these together, but when you did, you cherished them. It took about thirty minutes of sweet nothings and cuddles before the two of you drifted off, in your own little dream worlds filled with many nights like these.

[strayteezsimp]

A Dance with Fate

Pairing: Yunho x afab!reader

Summary: You are a new soloist under KQ Entertainment and your debut is in less than a week so you turn to Yunho for some guidance. Little did you know about his feelings towards you.

content warning! IdolAU! Smut(MDNI 18+), some fluff, swearing, slight angst (self-deprecation), breast play, fingering, oral (receiving), edging, usage of sir, use of pet names (baby, pretty baby, sweetheart), piv, unprotected sex//creampie (don’t be silly wrap ya willy)

Word count: 2.3k

My first fic in a literal decade lol. A huge thank you to @optimisticbabypanda for helping me with editing it and making sure it looked good! Also thank you for taking time to help me! I appreciate you whole heartedly 💕

Hope yall enjoy 💕

You exhaled in frustration while lying down on the practice room floor. “After 5 years of training, you’d think I’d be better at dancing by now.” You said out loud to yourself. Dance was always your struggle point as a trainee, and you were surprised when KQ said they were gonna debut you as a new soloist for them. You were hoping you would end up in a group so your dancing wouldn’t stand out as much, but here you were wallowing on the floor in self-pity. You’ve been debating whether or not you should ask someone for help; however, every time you think about it you feel this deep sense of embarrassment.

You felt like they’d make fun of you for needing help on something you should be relatively good at by now. Then you thought about Yunho. You’ve met him a few times and each time you talked to him- he seemed nice enough, “Maybe I could ask him. He seems like he'd be the least judgmental about it,” you thought to yourself, still lying on the floor with your debut song playing in the background on a loop. After some internal debate, you decide to swallow your pride and go ask Yunho.

As you're making your way down to Ateez’s practice room you feel a sense of dread. What if he laughs at you? What if he scolds you for not being able to dance to your own debut song? These thoughts have plagued your mind to the point you didn't even realize you had walked past their practice room. Internally smacking yourself in the face, you turn around and head back to the room. As you were about to knock on the door, it swung open with Yunho standing right there before you. You stood there gapping as anxiety started rushing through you.

He let out a little chuckle “Hey y/n! You're a long way from your practice room” he said with a smile on his face. You giggled nervously as you looked at your dance shoes. “Yeah, I actually had come here to talk to you about something.” You said, embarrassment laced in every word. He looked at you with a face mixed with curiosity, concern, and a hint of excitement. The moment he laid eyes on you his heart skipped a few beats- he knew he wanted to have you. You hesitated as you were trying to muster up the courage to ask.

“I really need your help with something but I’m a little embarrassed to ask in the middle of the hallway.” You said still looking at your shoes. He leaned over so he could look at your face and smiled. “Then where would you like to talk?” You giggled shyly as your cheeks turned a faint pink. You stepped back a little bit to see his face properly. “Preferably in my practice room, if you don’t mind.” Your mood lightening a little bit, you were always amazed at how much Yunho brightened up any room he was in, how just a smile from him could make your day better within seconds.

He stood up straight and started stroking his chin, it was obvious to you that he was messing around with a loud hum. “Sure I would love to help, lead the way y/n.” He said with a dramatic bow. You laughed as you lightly tapped his arm, “come on drama king.” As you two were making your way down to your practice room Yunho was internally trying to calm himself down. He was so excited to spend time with you and get to know you a little better. He was sure whatever it was you were worried about wasn't as bad as you were making it seem.

Your debut song was still playing as you entered the practice room. You walk over to your phone to start it over and pause it. “So what's the problem y/n? Are you worried about your song?” Yunho asked as he sat on the floor beside the speaker. “No, it's not the song I love my song. It's my dancing. I just can't get the choreography right.” You say as you rub your face in frustration. “Would you like to show me?” Yunho asked, standing from his spot on the floor. This was the part you were dreading. “He's gonna see me dance and laugh at me. What if he tells the rest of his group? And his members tell their friends? I'm going to be the laughingstock of the industry” you thought to yourself as you handed your phone to Yunho. You got in your spot and signaled Yunho you hit play.

He watched your every move as you did your choreo. Making mental notes of the moves you did and did not need work with. As you were dancing you felt his eyes on you the whole time. You were getting nervous because you couldn’t read his face, was he getting secondhand embarrassment? Was he trying not to laugh? Thoughts like these purged your mind as you finished your choreo. Yunho paused the music and sat your phone down. “I think I know what the problem is.” He said with a pause, making you even more uneasy. “You’re letting your anxiety get the best of you, and it’s making you stiff. Try and relax- you really did great.” He said looking you in the eyes. You felt his sincerity and it made you feel better. “Can you do it one more time for me? Have fun with it! I’ll dance with you if that would help?” He said beaming with excitement, looking more like a golden retriever than ever before.

He walked back to your phone as you readied yourself. You start your choreo again as Yunho quickly jumps beside you and dances with you. The choreo flowing like you were a natural. You were so dumbfounded by how fast he learned your choreo that you missed a step and rammed face first into Yunho’s chest, Yunho losing his footing in the process. You felt Yunho’s hands grip your waist as he quickly caught both of you from falling, both of you stared at each other in surprise as both of your faces turned red. He exhaled quickly as he stared into your eyes. The stare was intense, but in a loving way. You couldn’t bring yourself to look or pull away, it was like he had you in a trance.

He looked to your lips and then back at your eyes as if he were asking for permission starting to lean towards you. You closed your eyes and felt your lips touch as he kissed you. His lips were soft and gentle and he moved against your lips. As he started to pull away you wrapped your arms around his neck and went back in for another, not wanting this moment to end so soon. Your lips met again with much more intensity. His grip on your waist tightened as he licked your bottom lip, asking for entry.

His tongue dominated yours as you let out a light moan. You felt a light tug in your shirt as he pulled away from your heated kiss, resting his forehead on yours and looking into your eyes; you nodded and helped him lift off your shirt. He started kissing down your neck, to the tops of your lightly exposed breasts. You felt him move his arm up your back to remove your bra. Feeling his eyes on you started to make you feel self-conscious and before you could cover yourself he quickly cupped your breasts and started to kiss them. “Don’t cover them, you're so beautiful I want to cherish this moment.” You let out a moan as he licked your nipples. His hand toying with one as he sucked on the other.

You let out another moan as he slid his hand into the front of your sweatpants, rubbing your nub through your underwear. You felt your wetness on your underwear against your heat as he pulled his hand out. “I’m gonna go lock the door, have your clothes off, and have that pretty pussy ready for me okay?” Doing as he said you swiftly removed your pants and underwear and laid down on the floor. As he was making his way over to you he took off his shirt in one swift motion, he crawled to hover over you but first taking in the sight of your body. “I’ve been wanting to make you mine for so long.” He said as he stroked his fingers between your folds, earning a squirm and a moan from you. He stuck a digit into you, pumping at a slow pace. “Yunho please more” you whined, needing more.

Yunho smiled as he looked at you. “You’ll have to be patient for me baby. Can you do that?” You huffed in frustration then nodded. He stopped. “No, I need to hear you say it, sweetheart.” He peered into your eyes with a gleam of excitement and seriousness. “Yes.” You sighed out. “Yes, what?” He said, still staring at you. “Yes sir?” You said thinking that’s what he was wanting. He let out a little chuckle. He then added another digit and picked up his pace. His long slender fingers hitting you in the right spot, you let out a guttural moan as he was hitting your sweet spot. “Yunho. Please. Cum. I’m gonna cum. Please don't stop.” You said between moans. You felt the knot in your stomach tightening, and right as you were about to release he pulled his fingers out.

You groaned in frustration. “Fuck Yunho please.” He leaned to your ear and whispered “Not yet pretty baby. If you can't be patient I won't let you cum okay?” He pulled away from your ear and started gently kissing down your stomach, making his way to your soaked core, your legs spreading instinctively. Leaving love bites at the tops of your thighs, you felt your hips buck as he kissed closer to your heat. His tongue finally gives your sensitive bud relief as you let out a high-pitched moan. You throw your hand over your mouth to keep from being too loud. You writhe in pleasure as he laps up your folds like a starved man.

Your breaths become irregular as you feel yourself about to release.”Yuunhoo!” You draw out as he pulls away again. “You’re doing such a good job baby. I'm gonna make you feel so good.” He pulls back and removes his pants. His thick cock springs up and smacks against his abdomen. “Are you ready sweetheart?” He asks with a gentle tone. “Yes sir please, I need you in me, please.” You whimper out as you spread yourself open, wetness pooling from your core. He lines himself up to your hole and slowly pushes in, your breath hitches as you feel him enter. Your walls practically pulling him in. “Fuuuuuck” He growls as he bottoms out. “You feel so good baby, so wet for me.” You let out a moan as he starts thrusting into you at a steady pace.

Wrapping your arms around his neck you pull yourself to his lips, using them as a cushion to muffle your moans. He snakes his hand down to your clit and begins rubbing it in a circular motion as he slams into you. Suddenly, he flips you over so you're straddling him. “Ride me sweetheart.” After adjusting yourself to the new angle you begin you bounce on his cock. The sound of skin echoing through the practice would be loud enough for anyone walking by to hear. Yunho grips your waist and starts fucking up into you, eliciting a wail from you.

Gripping his shoulders you begin feeling that familiar knot in your stomach, your moans get louder “Yunho! Please! I'm close, fuck I'm close!” He lets out a deep groan, thrusting up into you at speed you didn't think was possible. “So good baby. Gonna cum. Gonna fill you up baby.” He looks up into your eyes as if he were pleading. “Cum with me baby. Cum” as if on command, you both release at the same time- filling you up with a mix of both yours and his cum, your hands clawing at the tops of his shoulders as you both came down from your highs. Exhausted, you collapse on top of Yunho, both laying there listening to sounds of your breathing, feeling both of your hearts racing.

As you were pushing yourself up you felt Yunho gently grab the back of your neck and softly kiss you. As he pulls away he looks at you with tenderness and concern. “Are you okay? I didn't go too rough did I?” You smile down at him and shake your head. “No Yuyu, you were perfect.” He reaches over and grabs one of the towels you brought for your face and holds it under you as you pull yourself off of him. You both clean up the best you can and get dressed. You both sit back down on the floor and he pulls you into him, your head resting on his bicep.“I know it's a little backward to ask now, but I do really like you. I have since I met you, and I was wondering if you'd like to go on a date with me sometime?” He laughed nervously, averting your gaze as shyness took over him. You smiled and turned his head back towards you. “I’d love that Yuyu.”

Lying his head on yours his face gleamed with excitement as he took your hand into his. Turning to look at you with the biggest smile on his face “We should go dancing!”

[yandere-sins]

A yandere with a darling who is kinda worse than they are but are still into it.....I don't know how unhinged you'd have to be for the yan to be like "Are you ok? Like if you need to talk about it I've put listening devices in the vents but still..."

I didn't want this to go into compliant darling territory or the darling being the yandere for someone else (though I did laugh a lot at the idea of telling the darling that the vents are bugged just in case they need it lol that's a good one). But this somewhat brought me a kind of different idea which you probably didn't intend, but I hope you like it all the same!

Warnings: Yandere, Violence (Descriptive acts of murder, stabbing, punching other people, breaking bones, getting bloody, a lot of blood actually, burying bodies), Sexual Content (Mentioning of non-con, dub-con, taking advantage, doing it in the blood of victims and next to dead bodies), Mentioning of drugs, Mentioning of knives, Patient/Doctor relationships, Murderer/Admirerer relationships, Reader is a serial killer, Yandere captures people for reader to kill, Yandere is also mad but so is reader, Reader doubts yandere's reasons for liking them, Reader is genderneutral but gets lifted into a bridal-style at the end, I once again didn't compile these warnings while writing and editing so I might miss some, sorry :(, Mentioning of wanting to throw up, Reader doesn't actually want to get better, it was different but really fun to write, Long post?, I feel like there are more warnings... but I can't remember anymore, if you made it this far and still want to read it, I hope you enjoy it!

»»———————— ♡ ————————««

Click

You sighed, holding your head in your hands, arms squeezed between your torso and legs. Your head was throbbing with the headache of the century. One you hadn't had in a long time... like five days. 

"You're a fucking dick, you know that?"

Groaning, you heard your own voice echo through your dizzy brain, nausea building as you felt like you were on a ship, everything moving unsteadily around you. The blinding lights flooding the off-white room didn't help soothe the feeling either, and your whole body kept tensing up, readying itself to throw up. You tried deep breaths, but they barely did anything. Not like they ever did something. You were too far gone for that.

"I did what was necessary," his voice rang out through the speaker in the top left corner, accompanied by the screeching of technical issues. You whined loudly, tearing your hair out as your head felt like it would burst. "My bad," he added, turning down the volume.

"What was it this time? Double the dose, triple? Must you keep drugging me? Some doctor you are..."

"I tried something new," he admitted, a cheeky grin in his voice. 

"Worked great..." you slurred, listening to him chuckle. 

For a while, you gave in to the need to collapse, putting your arm over your eyes to escape the lights while you thought about the last few things you could remember. Therapy was going well... at least that's what you were told. But the nurses—ugh. That one bitch.

"She did it on purpose," you mumbled, hearing the softest of agreement through the speaker. You knew that if it wasn't against regulation, he'd be sitting next to you, brushing your hair out of the way while you'd tell him your woes. He was that kind of sicko. A doctor, yet fascinated with you, his patient. Even though he merely sat behind the cameras, watching you, you could hear the sickening affection he held for only his favorite patient in every one of his words. 

In a way, he wasn't that different from you.

"You beat her up real good, smashed her face in. Got yourself into a frenzy and just tore open all your stitches from your last fight while you were at it, you really..."

He sighed. He was disappointed. Upset. This was a significant setback for him, too, after all. 

"She called me too stupid to ever recover properly and I was trying this time, really! How else should I have reacted?"

"You could have told me."

"And you would have dealt with her how?"

A brief chuckle rang out before he replied, although, had you been less delirious, you wouldn't have needed to ask. You knew what he did to people who behaved poorly with you. "I would have taken care of her, as always. You know you have my unending support."

You couldn't help a smile creeping over your face, the memory of burying the last nurse who bothered you in the asylum's cemetary resurfacing. Digging out the grave had been hard work, but you had to agree with him that the physical labor did wonders to soothe your ever-agitated mind. 

"You're terrible," you mumbled, unable to hide your smile.

"Ah! There it is! Look at those little dimples! I'm glad my services are appreciated by my darling. I was hoping to take you out on a rendevous once the dust settles. Maybe we can do that sooner than I expected."

"Who'd want that, you sicko."

Groaning, you finally sat up, looking down at the cushioned floor while you adjusted to being awake. Standing took a few attempts; the cushions aligned along the wall, not actually graspable, even if they looked like it. Everything about the solitary cell was so safe, it made you feel helpless. But eventually you managed to get to your wobbly feet, sighing in exhaustion once you stood.

"There you go, breaking my heart," he sighed, and you shook your head with a laugh, knowing he didn't mean it. 

"No straight jacket this time?" you asked, raising your arms and, for the first time since you awoke, realizing your movements were unrestraint.

"You weren't in a condition to restrain you. I prioritized your healing over that awful jacket."

"You just don't like it because it does nothing for my figure."

Again, you heard the grin in his voice as he said, "Busted. You're too cute to walk around constrained. Even though I love how crazy you look with it."

"Sicko..." you mumbled, your nickname for your doctor, endearing only in his ears. 

Your limbs were terribly heavy as you moved them towards the door. Part of you wanted to collapse on the ground again; simply pass out where you were. But knowing him, he'd definitely use the opportunity to take advantage of you, especially now that he could get a video of it. 

You didn't always mind what your doctor did to you. In a way, he was helpful even if everything you two did was against any laws in this country. If anyone knew what you two were getting into when no one was looking, you'd both be put down like rabid dogs. But that's just how you two were—feral.

The sicko kept telling you how he'd get you back on track. How he'd "fix" you just enough so you could go home with him. There was no way you'd consider living with him if you ever did get out. Still, he liked to paint the picture whenever he crawled into your bed while on night duty, hugging you and telling you about his ideas. You told him often enough that, given the chance, you'd kill him outside the safety of this institution, but so far... you hadn't.

You had enough chances, enough people he let you murder, watching you while you did it and helping you to hide the bodies once you were satisfied, but you never once turned the knife on him. Maybe it was because of his studies; perhaps he knew more about you than you about yourself. Or it was because he was just as insane. Fucking your patient in the blood of their victims was definitely not normal, even you knew that. So what other reason could he have for it except insanity? 

"Earth to my darling, I repeat: Are you thirsty?"

You felt the heat spread over your face as you felt called out by his question, almost as if he was reading your mind. It wasn't like you two were lovers. There was no chance in hell you'd get together with someone like him—or anyone for that matter. You didn't want the burden of someone clinging to you while you did your dirty work.

But the sex after releasing all your pent-up anger? Out of this world. 

Perhaps his doctorate was in fucking instead of psychiatry, but he knew how to work every part of his body. And he knew just how to get you in the mood, too. An explosive combination, mixing his lust with your madness.

That didn't change much about your feelings for him, though. 

"I'm not," you muttered, trying to hide your face, which probably showed the embarrassment you felt, thinking of the last romp you two had. You tried the deep breaths again, but the thoughts kept popping back into your mind. Must be the drugs, you thought.

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Of course!" 

His excitement was loud and clear as it rang through the microphone, and you weren't sure if you should smile at it or sneer. For some reason, you both held each other in a tight grip, unable to be separated, yet most likely toxic for each other. But he still got excited over any kind of interest you had in him and you about all the things he did so you could live out your best life—even though you were locked away for a reason. 

"Why me?" you asked, standing in front of the door, not looking up. Even if he was just the voice behind a camera at the moment, somehow, this question left a bad taste in your mouth. You didn't want him to see the conflict on your face; didn't want him to know that you were doubting how deserving you were of his favor. It wasn't insecurity, wasn't a need for reassurance, but how could anyone look at you and think, "That's the one!"? You killed people, went into violent rages, and weren't considered safe enough to be reintegrated into society, probably ever again. There was nothing you had to show for yourself. Nothing that could justify the feeling of adoration your own therapist held for you. Especially not he. He should have been one of the good ones. And you weren't. It made no sense to you why he'd behave like he did.

"Why you what?"

"Why do you like me so much? I mean, come on! I mean, look at us! We're batshit crazy! This isn't some romance movie on television, we're actually doing bad shit, and yet you keep shielding me, doing me favors, telling me you love me. I'm sure there are others out there who you can fix and fuck if you like. It's not like..."

Biting your own tongue, you wondered if it was the new drug combo he tried on you that made you feel especially irritated with his feelings that day. You let him do all this stuff to and with you, but now you were getting weirded out by it? It wasn't like you to get so worked up over him; you were more of the cool type, spitting-in-his-face-type if he pissed you off. You didn't even want to validate his feelings for you, but also... being self-aware enough to know you were a danger to humankind, you couldn't shake the feeling he might just be using you for his own sick desires. And that made you angry again. You'd not be a pawn or a means for no one.

Click

"Wow, okay, you bastard." Your grumbling fell on deaf ears as he turned off the microphone. "Sure, I'm going through something here, but by all means, stop listening. Not like it's your job or anything..."

Unprepared, you jolted back as the door to your cell suddenly yanked open, revealing the pitch-black corridor that lay behind. Apparently, it was late at night, but you couldn't focus on that as your doctor appeared from the shadows, a deep frown etched into his beautiful face. He should have been a model. At least that job wouldn't have led him to meet you.

"Do you doubt me?" he asked, stalking forward, undeterred by the open door, not thinking for a second that you'd try to escape. "Do I need a reason to love you for you to believe it?"

He caught your chin between his fingers, tilting your head back as he matched the steps you were taking backward. Soon, you'd run out of space to back into, but perhaps that was his goal. 

"Can't I just love you because the first time you caved in and told me about the things you went through, things just felt... right? Everything just clicked in my head, and I thought, "Wow, I want to see them happy!" Must there be any other reason for me to love you?"

Your back hit the wall just as his eyes lowered to your lips, his thumb reaching up to brush over them. "I dream about those lips. I can't help but think about you no matter where I go. In the evening, I imagine you curled up on the couch next to me; sometimes, I hear your laugh when you aren't even there. I want that picture-perfect life with you, but the moment I step into your room and see you covered in blood, your eyes showing just how far gone you are, it just..."

He looked up again, his eyes swirling with all the emotions he tried to convey in his words. But when he met your gaze, the color drained, leaving behind what you could only describe as pure, unfiltered madness.

"It drives me insane."

His second hand raised to the side of your face. He cupped your cheek in his palm for a moment, a soft smile creeping over his lips. "I like you like this. Docile, calm, sweet. I like it when you ask me things, I like it when you beg for something. I like it when you only let me do things to you. I want to help you, I do! But..."

His hand sliding down, you looked away, trying to catch it before it slipped around your throat, pressing into it, squeezing so hard you felt as if your head was going to detach from your neck.

"I want to ruin you. I want you worse, I want you deranged. I want you to kill everyone and then me, so I'll be the last of your victims, the only one you remember. I want to be ruined by you so badly that every day, I hope you tell me about yet another staff member we get to kill, and then you can use me to satisfy your needs. Can't you understand? This is love. No one will ever love someone like you, but. I. do. I understand you, I care for you. And I will continue to do so, with no other reason than I love you. I love you so much."

You gasped for air at this point, fingers grabbing his arm. It was hard listening to him, but it was harder to breathe. You knew he wouldn't kill you. This was nothing compared to other things you two did to each other. It stung a little when he said no one else would ever love you, but he was right. Not unless the change everyone expected from you was also something you wanted. 

But why would you?

The pressure on your throat disappeared, only for your breath to be stolen by his kiss. You hated this man. You hated him because he was a little bit too much like you. Too unhinged to be likable. And at the same time, he wasn't at all. He was too supportive, too nice, too forgiving. It disgusted you, honestly. Yet, you reciprocated, biting his lip hard enough to draw blood. Before he could back off, you caught his cheeks in a squeeze between your fingers to draw him back to lick off the red fluid, reminding him he wasn't the deranged one here. 

"Don't question me again about my feelings, please," he asked, out of breath, too, as he bumped his forehead against yours. "I love you, I really do."

"You're a sicko, you know that? And your beard is stinging me, you should shave."

At this, he laughed out loud, raising his head to the ceiling. "I spent three days waiting for you to wake up. You can deal with some stubble."

"No, I don't like it."

Grinning, he lowered his face to you and gave you another peck on the lips. "It's gone tomorrow, I promise."

"Can I go back to my room now?"

He hummed thoughtfully before shaking his head. "Someone's awaiting their punishment still. You really want to miss out on that?"

Now it was your turn to grin as well. "Aww, you shouldn't have! Are we gonna cut up that bitch now? For real?"

"Anything for you," he mumbled, raising your hand to give it a quick smooch. "But let me change your bandages first. I don't want you to accidentally get sepsis if your wounds are still open."

"Surprisingly, you're still a doctor at heart."

"That's not true," he gasped, feigning indignation about your statement.

"Are you not?" you asked, watching him bend down to pick you up, bridal-style even. You weren't mad since your legs felt even weaker than before, and you really wanted to conserve your energy. 

"I'm afraid it's no longer medicine that has claimed my heart."

He looked at you, smiling softly. "It's all you."

"And I can't help but love you more, realizing I am becoming more like you every day."

[bonefall]

What are your thoughts on Crowfeather's Trial? I already know how you feel about my other least favorite super editions so I'm curious about your opinions on this one lol

I think at best it's just okay. Like...it feels like they're going "see!! We're holding him accountable!!" But then they just kinda...dont?? Like I didn't feel any differently about Crowfeather by the end than I did when I started. There's parts I like about it but overall it just fell flat for me

Like how am I supposed to like this guy when he's just constantly a dick?? he can't stand Harespring for some reason, there's a moment where he's like "I wish my son was dead" and when Nightcloud goes missing he barely gives a damn and doesn't bother to even try and look for her

Anyways I'll forever be mad that they gave this guy a whole super edition and he'll probably have the most dramatic death ever while Leafpool suffered her entire life (and afterlife) and got killed off screen. Hoping he gets jumped by rats and dies from infection

I'm not a big fan of it. It's one of the better written SEs and has a clear goal in mind, but every time I have to encounter it, it feels like it's sidelining the characters who actually deserve to be explored in favor of Crowfeather Sadboy Whinging.

Breezepelt has 12 books detailing how being mistreated by Crowfeather is making him worse, and showing that social alienation is pushing him towards the Dark Forest. Nightcloud was demonized by the old team even though they wrote Crowfeather deflecting all the blame of Breeze's behavior onto her, giving the new team a great opportunity to correct the mistakes of the old writers... and they decided to focus on Crowfeather instead.

And, mind you, they conveniently leave out massive details about how BADLY Crowfeather was abusing his child.

There's this one part of the book where he learns that Breezepelt broke his leg as a kid and he feels like shit for not remembering it, and it's supposed to be a big moment where Crowfeather realizes he was apathetic and careless. But he WASN'T just apathetic and careless. We see him TEACHING his child xenophobia in order to mock and offend Leafpool, smacking Breezepaw around for being 'rude' (the way Crowf always is), and screeching at him for having basic needs like hunger or rest.

Crowfeather WASN'T just a sad, sad boy who didn't pay attention to his kid because he was too busy pining over Dead Wife. What he did to Breezepelt wasn't just neglect; it was physical and emotional abuse.

The book DOES ultimately hold him responsible for how Breezepelt turned out, yes. But it doesn't properly focus on WHAT made Breeze come out the way he did. It wasn't genes, it wasn't Daddy Not Smile At Me. I can only assume the reason why they didn't address how ghoulish Crowfeather actually was is because they knew that being honest and direct about him abusing his child would make him unsympathetic.

Which is a problem, because, y'know, you can just make it Breezepelt's Trial and NOT have to thread that needle??

And furthermore... the book is trying to show Crowfeather addressing that he's kind of an asshole and moving on from it, earning deputyship as a reward for his growth, but what the book really demonstrates to me is that Crowfeather is a dickhead who actually shouldn't have ANY power at all. I don't understand why people would trust him or want him as their leader. I don't see any reason to think that he would be responsible with the lives of an entire Clan of people.

Before I hear clown shoes; if you think that means I "just don't like" that he would be an ""interesting leader,"" pile yourself back into the car with your 30 other jesters and drive away. I mean that it feels completely wrong that any character in-universe would look at the person who exists in Crowfeather's Trial, and say, "this is a person who would help me effectively rule."

What he does, all-book-long, is show that he's an emotionally unstable loose canon borderline incapable of self-reflection. Other characters have to directly tell him "you should try being less of an asshole" and "maybe be nice to your family sometimes?" while he comes up with bullshit reasons to seethe at every character who wanders into his line of sight.

I massively resent the fact that even Leafpool has to mommy his baby ass towards the end of the book. After he spends a good part of Po3 and OotS finding roundabout ways to snipe at her for not giving him exactly what he wanted. It falls on HER to be the one he can ask for advice on how to fix the family he treated like shit his whole life.

no that's not hyperbole she literally. textually. is compared to his mother.

and he can't even be gracious about it, he's instantly all huffy and offended, completely proving her point. Why the hell would anyone make this guy a deputy? The man needs TWO motherly figures giving him the exact same basic advice and a dedicated super edition before he adjusts his behavior even slightly.

(watch him get Boring Leader Syndrome the minute he inevitably becomes Crowstar, too)

Sooo, in a nutshell;

It's one of the better SEs. unfortunately.

Crowfeather is held accountable for being the problem in his own relationships, thank god

but it doesn't fully hold the actions we SAW in the main series books accountable, seemingly purposefully leaving out the worst things he did.

Another WC book where a male character gets an insane amount of sympathy and rewarding that female characters are NEVER deigned deserving of.

Should have been Breezepelt's story. I strongly dislike how Breeze's "redemption" was based on his shitty dad saying sorry. He deserved an actual character arc struggling with ever trusting WindClan again after they took his dad's judgement about him at face value.

Absolutely awful that Leafpool is killed between books and given a trial where they consider sending her to hell when they finally DO get around to showing how she died, while Crowfeather gets an SE about the whole world holding his hand so he can fix the family he broke in 5 easy steps.

Its biggest problem is that it is about a character whose actions you can go and read about. It doesn't deliver on the setup of 12 books of Crowfeather being an absolute git; it's a good story for the version of Crowfeather the new team seems to have created in their heads.

Doesn't stop me from manifesting him getting an infection and having a Sandstorm-tier disrespectful death in the upcoming series, lmao.

[14dayswithyou]

[12 May 2022] How would Ren react to a teasing MC? For example, MC would do things like bending over in front of them because they “accidentally” drop something, all while giving them a smirk?

Error 404: REDACTED.exe has stopped working

LOL Ren would most likely just awkwardly stand there for a brief moment with red cheeks, sweaty hands, and a dry throat. He'd also have trouble looking at you while his brain tries to processes everything, and it would take him a solid minute or two before he can respond properly.

If y'all previously went to the bone zone though, then he'd be a lot more bold and playful with it, and would purposefully drop something in front of you just to see what you'd do. He might even go as far as to tease you back by "innocently" lifting his shirt to wipe sweat from his face, or "subtly" brush up against you whenever he walks past.

20 Feb 2024 EDIT: For more context, this post was made before any information about Day 2 was released (and Day 1 was still relatively new). So Ren was a lot more shy and timid when it came to any form of interaction from Angel. What you saw in the Day 1 demo was all the lore you had to work with, so I didn't write Ren with the same level of confidence he shows in Day 2 onwards.

[animeomegas]

More Baxter thoughts~

Imagine post Step 4, MC telling Baxter that he was their first kiss. They sort of laugh and explain that for some people 18 would be considered a late bloomer, but that was the right time for them. They joke that Baxter was just too irresistible.

MC is trying to keep the mood light, just joking about it, but that doesn't really go to plan.

Because Baxter is shocked for three seconds, pleased and flustered for one second, and then deeply guilty from then on.

He feels guilty for not knowing, for taking MC's first kiss even if they kissed him first, and he feels even worse for ghosting them now, which he didn't think was possible.

He tries to just smile and say he's honoured, but he cannot sleep that night because he feels so guilty. He wants to punch 19 year old him in the face (don't we all).

I think MC'd have to firmly pull him from the guilt and kiss him until he truly understands that they'd forgiven him for the shenanigans he pulled 5 years ago, and that they definitely don't regret him being the first person they kissed.

Actually that would be a good strategy to pull his head out of the guilt cloud: MC should ask him if he regrets being the first person they kissed and then watch this man backtrack at the speed of light and vehemently deny it lol.

...

But also, imagine MC face timing Baxter for the first time after they had to go home.

They'd both do it late at night, I think, maybe they'd both be in bed, and when the call connects, they both just stare at each other for several moments.

Until MC pushes out an 'I miss you' and Baxter melts and says it back.

MC was sort of expecting to be teased about missing him when it's only been a day since they left, but Baxter isn't about to deny that he's already wishing they were with him again.

Just imagine them softly talking about their days to each other, tucked up in their respective beds, wishing the other one was close enough to touch and hold.

Imagine them having to end every face time with a reminder about when they were going to see each other next, just to soften the bitter blow of the end of the call.

Imagine MC taking a screenshot when Baxter looks cute, his hair mussed from his pillow.

Imagine Baxter taking a screenshot when MC starts nodding off, head propped up by one dangerously swaying hand.

Imagine neither of them wanting to bring up staying on the call as they sleep, but both thinking about it every time.

Just... soft Baxter and MC, because they'd be the cutest sappiest couples, especially when they're alone.

...

This third one and final one is not as cute, but imagine an artist MC who is just enamoured by the mole on the upper back of Baxter's thigh.

They really want to not be creepy, but also... they really want to sketch it.

And so they sketch it, but it doesn't capture the beauty properly, so they add colour and edit and keep going until they have a near photo realistic image of the back of Baxter's thigh XD

Baxter finds the drawing one day and basically blue screens for a good 40 seconds before he attempts to compliment their art work and tease them about the subject material at the same time, the words coming out as a jumbled, flustered mess.

That is all XD Thank you for letting me scream my Baxter ideas into the void haha.

[yumenoyousei]

I asked for a commission of my DC OC Shay from @jnephrite and look at my girl!! 😭 She so pretty I can't even😭😭😭 Always loved @jnephrite art so seeing Shay in hers is a blessing 🙏🏾

And since the fic is almost halfway through posting, I thought, might as well introduce Shay properly! EDIT: the fic, Awaking in Gotham, is now completed!

Full name: Shay Michelle Frank (♀) Occupation: Graphic Designer / YouTuber Height: 5'9"  Birthday: September 16th  ☀Virgo 🌙Aries ⬆Aquarius Proud African American/Haitian & Gothamite  Hobbies: Poetry, Arts, Rap/R&B music, help the Gotham North Community Center, Discover new artists (both musically and visual arts)

Shay was born and raised in Gotham, close to the infamous Crime Alley, by her maternal grandmother, Marie-Monique "Manmi Mo" Antoine, and with her 3 years older brother Zachary "Zee" Frank. Her mother died of childbirth (she had had complications with Zee which was why she was hospitalized when pregnant with Shay) so her whole family distrusted the American health system. This is why when her grandmother was diagnosed with cancer, they didn't go to the hospital and only went to the illegal clinic. (Also; money.) Her father is unknown. 

Ever since young, she went to the Gotham North Community Center, mostly run by the Black and Latinx communities of the Crime Alley neighbourhood. Her grandmother would teach the children about mostly Black literature but also all sorts of arts which is why Shay is such a creative person. That's also where she met Jason Todd for the first time when she was around 4-5.

Her brother very early on started to "run the streets" and started to hang out with bad crews, but always had his heart on his sleeves. He just couldn't find other ways to get money to make sure Shay had the right education/a chance away from crime.

Her grandma died when she was almost 17 and her brother died not even 4 weeks later (2 weeks after her 17th birthday) because of a dispute between gangs. (Allegedly) 

After her grandma and Zee died, she went to live in Metropolis with her second-degree cousin, Jennifer Antoine, until she graduated from university. Even when in Metropolis, she would go as much as she could back to Gotham to see her people/help the center.

She started a YouTube channel talking about Gotham's art and musical scene to change people's persepective of Gotham after too many people at Metropolis U "pitied" her for being a Gothamite. 

As soon as she was about to graduate, she applied to work at Wayne Entreprise back in Gotham. She got a job as a graphic designer and moved back to her city.

At the start of the fic, "Awaking in Gotham", she is 22 and has been working at WE for almost a year.

Read more about Shay (and her love story with Jason) on AO3! (Trying to update every week!)

Random notes about Shay:

As I wrote in the fic's notes, the first reason for creating Shay was: who the fuck would stay in Gotham that isn't a criminal and/or a vigilante??

So I created a black girl who loves her community and sees all it could be while being very conscious of what it is and its dangers. Then I went, hey! she'd be good with Jason while I was starting my Jason Todd Thirst so obv my fic turned into romance. lol

The name comes from Belgian rapper Shay, Montreal-based singer Shay Lia, and Haitian Montreal-based singer Shah Frank. As I was creating Shay I was obsessed with all three of them and the name Shay Frank wouldn't leave me.

Ngl, I gave a lot of me to Shay; like her Haitian roots and GAD but very quickly she went her own way and grew in this character I'm proud of. I'd like to say I also gave her my music taste but she is way more into hip-hop than me and she rejects most of my pop playlists (sadly).

Because Shay was based on me, all her entourage I created is based on people in my rl. lol

I also absolutely wanted her to be friends with Bernard because I absolutely love Bernard (and Bat SO who are civilians? Tim and Jason bonding over the fact their SO are the only civilians in the Batfam?! So many fun things to do!!)

Zee is also a character that I love, based on one of my favourite cousins, and I got lowkey mad at myself halfway through that he was dead. So I have an AU where he didn't die in my head lol 

I'd like to write a oneshot of it when I'm done with this fic.

Last fun fact about Shay that I wasn't able to put in fic yet: all the rogues annoy her (mostly because they cause mayhem that cancel events) but she madly respects Poison Ivy because of her convictions and: "is she wrong tho?" 

I have a lot of other small notes about Shay and the Shay-verse but I'll post the rest when the fic is completed!

EDIT 2024-10-04: I completely forgot to add the link to the post fic notes! So if you read Awaking in Gotham do check those other notes!

[pseudophan]

how long have you been a phannie and how did you find them? i've been following you for years but somehow i don't know this information

lol well basically i used to be on gilmore girls twitter back in 2012-13 and a friend of mine on there had a mutual from another tv fandom who she introduced me to just because we were both norwegian and into video editing, so i followed this girl just for that, even though we didn't really have any fandoms in common, and suddenly there were a looot of edits on my feed of these two british guys i knew fuck all about other than that they were youtubers. i was a big jenna marbles fan at the time and in general i watched a lot of youtube growing up so like i was familiar enough with the concept to be like sure, yeah, this makes sense, that's fun. and because i was very much in my support-all-fan-editors-regardless-of-fandom era i made the grave grave mistake of actually watching her edits and jesus christ it was downhill so fucking fast from there

june of 2013 i think is when i'd say i properly became a phannie because that's when i made my main blog (originally a multifandom but heavily dan and phil blog) and then two years later during a really bored gap year i made this one and now here we are