#I didn’t even have the energy to watch 911

[fixedglare-ii]

me wondering why this past week feels so weirdly sad and melancholy

my period: heeyyyyy bestie!!1!!!

[mvltisstuff]

how to disappear - e.b

summary: after a series of tragic losses, y/n’s bright mood begins to disappear. so buck and the 118 try to bring it back

evan buckley x reader

this lowkey broke my heart a bit 🥲 i am def not the biggest fan of this, it was just rushed but i hope you still enjoy, leave any requests you’d like i’m in a big 911 writing era :)

10 minutes of cpr on the way to the hospital, rapid beeping on the machine, blood on the ground. hen places a soft hand on y/n’s arm, and pulls it away from the patients body. “y/n,” she says, making pitying eye contact with her. “time of death, 14:36.”

y/n sits back with a brush to her hairline with the heel of her palm and a sigh. she looks down at her hands and uniform, covered in a man’s blood. a son, a friend, and she feels like she just took that from him.

it’s been person after person, it feels. like she’s failing at her job and is failing all these people. she wants to scream. a few days before, she had lost a girl, new to adulthood, who had driven her car off the side of the road due to a drunk driver. her best friend, watching from the side and being held back by bobby and athena, was wailing in agony from watching the life escape her soul sister.

that wasn’t the last time, it’s been a few. everyone tries to reassure her that she did everything she could, and she knows she did. but was it enough? y/n’s been quiet, not wanting to hurt anything else around her. she felt like everything was glass in her hands and she couldn’t help but drop it. her eyes were dry and red from the sleepless nights and tearful showers, and her arms were tired from the endless compressions and the feeling of being completely burnt out.

buck had recognized this feeling, they all had, but it hurt to see her beating herself up so much over it. y/n already felt ridiculous, as this is partially what she signed up for, and he didn’t want her to feel ashamed. the 118 has been assigned to a ton of casualties and bad accidents recently, but it seems like they’ve been piling up and she feels like it is a result of her work.

everyone knows y/n is great. she’s smart and careful in her work, always checking over herself and being gentle with everyone, young and old.

another quiet night at home, y/n picks around her food not being able to find her appetite. the screams of the friend from earlier rang in her ear and the flatline of machines were stinging her brain. the pounding headaches were washed away with another tylenol, as buck tries to start another conversation.

“so, um,” he starts, quietly. “eddie invited us over to dinner tomorrow, do you wanna go?”

he tells a white lie because buck sort of invited himself to dinner. he wants to help y/n, and make her feel better and know that there are people still alive from her rescues. “maybe, i’m not sure.” she says, not having the energy to go tomorrow as she wants to just come home and fight with her sleep again. buck nods, deciding not the fight it. his heart breaks seeing her in this condition, and it pains him even more to know she’s helped him in this situation. he’s had his own losses, and he so desperately tries to climb out of the pit it puts him on. y/n was always the hand, the ladder that he called to climb out. he wanted more than anything to be hers.

they don’t teach you in training how to deal with this. they warn you, surely, but you always try to sugarcoat it in your mind. however, the agonizing sobs and screams will wake you up at night. you remember the names, the family, the details, the autopsy, the medicine that was inserted. every small detail haunts you, until you learn to handle the pain. it never gets easier to lose someone on the job, but the embraces and relief from saving someone is an incredible feeling.

“i’m just going to head to bed,” y/n says, her voice cracking as it’s barely above a whisper. she walks over to buck, placing her plate in the dishwasher. “i’ll meet you upstairs, i’m going to shower first.”

buck nods and gives her a sweet smile that conceals a bit of pity. watching her smiles fade from feeling like she’s not good enough makes his heart skip a beat in the worst way.

a few days later, y/n stayed a little longer at work than buck did. maddie had asked him to watch jee-yun, and when y/n walked in, she saw buck playing with her in their living area. he has a bright smile on his face in response to the little words and babbles from jee. “hey, baby. wanna come join us in here?”

she had completely forgotten that they agreed to babysit. she sighed and mumbled at buck for a minute. “i, um, forgot we’re watching her.”

“it’s ok, we just got done pulling uncle bucks hair out,” he says, scooping jee up and blowing light kisses into her baby cheeks. “who’s that, jee? y/n’s home!”

y/n forces out a small grin, making the side of her mouth raise a bit. “sorry, guys. i was gonna call it an early night, it’s been a really long day.” she replies, because she has no more energy left to give. she feels like shit, leaving her boyfriend and his niece alone, who she adores completely. she doesn’t want to bother their time together.

“oh,” buck says, surprised. y/n never denies extra time with jee-yun, always begging maddie and chimney to bring her over for a bit. “i get it, honey. go lay down.” he says, the smile on his face growing again in attempts to make her feel more comfortable.

“thanks, buck.” y/n walks over to the two, leaving a kiss on bucks lips and one on jee’s forehead. when she walks away, stepping back up the stairs like her muscles are worn out, jee mumbles out the few letters of her name.

“i know, jee-yun,” buck says, comforting her. “she’ll be back soon, i hope.”

days pass and y/n’s brightness that comes into the room when she walks in still isn’t back. buck has tried to give her space, but also giving her the love she needs to feel better. sitting around the table, the team talks for a little.

“kid, something on your mind?” bobby asks, taking a bite of his breakfast while looking at a zoned-out buck.

“s-sorry, cap,” he stumbles over his words. “it’s y/n. i just feel so bad, i wish i could magically fix everything but…”

“it’s hard, she’s been really taking it on these calls.”

“i’m just worried, i don’t know how much more stress she can handle.”

“she’s tough,” eddie adds. “i think she just needs time.” buck nods, still feeling indifferent on the situation.

the alarm sounds later in the night, and they climb into the truck for the last call of the shift. they’re all tired, ready to go home, but also ready to face whatever battle the world has for them tonight. y/n rides in the back, glaring out the window. she listens intently to the instructions in her headphones, and they climb out of the truck.

they see yet another tragic incident on the side of the road, a massive delivery truck had been completely turned upside down with two people inside of it. they team had all sprint up the the flipped vehicle, getting on the ground to see the damage to their bodies. “hi, sir,” y/n says first. “can you tell me your name?”

“r-richard.”

“ok, richard, can you tell me if you feel this?” y/n applies pressure to his legs. he shakes his head, and begins to panic at the numbness in his lower half.

“it’s ok, stay still,” y/n reassures him. “we’re gonna help you. can you tell us your friends name?”

“his n-name- is tyler.” he answers. “am i going to die in here?”

“we are all here to help you, richard, you are in some of the best hands out there,” y/n stands up and faces hen and chimney. “we have numbness in his legs, passengers name is tyler.”

“got it,” chim says, jogging over to see his friends condition.

on the side, after excusing themselves, the team meets up. “driver is not looking good, cap. i think the damage was already done when we got on scene.” hen says.

“can we get the other person out safely?” bobby asks, hesitantly. they all nod, knowing what is going to have to happen. “he’s pinned under that seat, he doesn’t have enough time.”

“what? no, we have to get both of them out!” y/n interjects.

“we can’t, y/n. we have to keep richard comfortable while they work to get tyler out.”

“but-“

“there’s nothing we can do, y/n/n,” buck says, stepping in. “there’s nothing that can save him.”

y/n keeps her cool, just barely letting the pot boil over the edge. she walks back over to richard without any directions, but knows that she is the one to keep him comfortable. “this is it, huh?” he coughs a bit, blood pooling at the corner of his lips.

“you have a family, richard?” y/n asks, hoping to keep his mind off the pain that has already been minimized with morphine. no morphine in the world can save his family from the pain they’ll endure.

he nods, slowly. “i have three girls and two boy, and my beautiful wife.”

“wow, a full house, isn’t it?” y/n laughs.

“we have, two dogs too.”

“can i hear their names?”

“the girls are, layla, and she’s the oldest.” he starts, ready to take the time to explain his precious kids. tears are already forming in y/n’s eyes, and she’s relieved he is able to talk over her. “she’s so smart, she was valedictorian, jesus, i was so loud at graduation. and then there’s jake, he’s so amazing, he’s the sweetest kid. and then there’s makenna and sarah, they’re two little,” he pauses to take a few deeps breaths. “firecrackers. and then the youngest is nathan, and he is a r-replica of his mom.”

“what’s their mom like?” the drilling and buzzing from the other side is faint, the two’s thoughts being drowned out by the stories of his family.

“oh, she’s amazing,” he smiles, with red-stained teeth. “the- the most beautiful woman. you think i could call her?” her shaky hand reaches over to his phone that had fallen out of the truck and onto the top. she puts the phone up to his ear, holding it, as some more jargon about the rescued man comes through.

“h-hey honey!” he says, like it’s almost muscle memory. “i, uh, it’s ok, i just wanted to call and see how everything is.” he smiles at the chaos on the other side. “can you, uh, put me on speaker phone?”

the tears are falling down y/n’s face freely, as the sirens of the other ambulances are turned on to drive away with other paramedics. her breaths are shaky, and the team gathers behind them. glass cuts the skin on her knees, but she is not fazed by the feeling. the husband, son, father, says his final goodbyes to his family, and the final breath from his lips is stolen in a matter of seconds. one of the police officers leans down and takes the phone, speaking to the widow and her young family.

y/n places a few fingers on the side of his neck, feeling for a non-existent pulse. her voice cracks, and a few broken cries come out of her sad mind. “i’m so sorry, richard. i’m so, so sorry.” she repeats, over and over again before her boyfriend has to remove her from the nightmare. she yanks her gloves off and wipes the mix of blood from her hands, sweat, and tears off her face.

buck has never seen her breakdown like this, and it was honestly one of his biggest fears. he knew it was going to happen, he just hoped he would make her feel better before it did. “i really tried, buck, i did, i couldn’t keep him up…”

“i know, it’s not your fault. none of this has ever been your fault.”

as y/n’s pained thoughts surround her mind on the way back to the station, she climbs out of the truck and slowly walks back into the locker room. she ignores everyone around her. she tries to ignore everyone, but buck is too quick to understanding her that he is following right behind.

“let’s just go home, buck,” y/n says, her voice is raspy from the sobs and exhaustion.

“i need you to know that you are doing everything you can,” he says, stepping closer to her.

“i know, buck. i’m not doing this right now.”

“you are amazing at this y/n. it is not your fault. these people were doomed from the second they called into dispatch. if anything, you were there for them when we got there.”

“then why? why does this keep happening, buck? since you seem to have an answer for all of this why can’t you tell me that? why does it feel like it’s my fault?” she snaps, raising her voice with him near. she’s not yelling at him, more at herself.

“y/n, please,” buck whispers. “i don’t have the answer for everything. but i know for a fact that you are doing the best you can. and that is enough. and i will say it is enough for the rest of time until you believe me.”

y/n stops and stands still. she looks at him with sad eyes, her mouth opened lightly. she shrugs her shoulders and feels like every word is draining her from everything she has left. “i cant sleep without hearing them, buck.”

“oh, my god. baby,” he says, rushing over to her and pulling her in before her heartbroken knees gave out under her. his arms wrapped around her waist and sat her weak body down on the bench. he held her until she had nothing else to weep out. “let’s go home, love.”

several days later, and several shifts later, y/n had started to feel more normal. things had been looking up, but she was still dealing with the loss of her patients. it never would not bring her pain, each bruise would never heal, but she would rather not forget about them.

buck had taken her out of the house for a day, meeting up with everyone for dinner. they all had been supporting y/n in their own ways. spending time with her, listening to her, giving her advice, and just being there for her was the best they could do. they figured it would be good for her to spend time out of the firehouse and their small shared apartment.

her bubbly personality wasn’t back yet, as she still thought about the casualties consistently. they still haunted her dreams and lay in her brain. having buck there made everything easier. the way he cared for her and never judged her feelings had caused them appear more valid. having someone that understands you like that can open doors to new feelings so fast.

sitting around, they all talked for a bit as y/n still stayed quiet, her hand and bucks never unwinding. her grip on his soft hands has been still like they were stuck in cement. being able to listen to his voice and the casual meetings between everyone brought her back to reality.

“hi, sorry, excuse me?” a woman said, standing next to another one. she had a hearing aid in, and was doing sign language while making eye contact with y/n. “i had just recognized the whole team, and i remembered seeing you. i wish i could remember your name, but it must’ve gotten mixed up somewhere.” the lady signs, pointing at y/n. “you saved my life, you came right back into that building and i would not be here today. you saved me and my family. i wish i could give you all the world, but seeing your face still brings me comfort. so thank you, from the bottom of my heart.”

y/n was completely speechless. she had no idea what to say. her eyes were welling up again, but she blinked them back down and tried to force a few quiet words out. “of course, i’m so glad you remember me! that’s what i’m here for.”

her interpreter signs y/n’s words back to her, and she blows a quick kiss to y/n and walks away with a bright smile. y/n faces back around to buck, with a shocked smile on her face. it was bright, and it seemed like something that reminded her of all the good in this world that she has done.

buck knows that aside from a beautiful face, her soul had a wonderful outcome on the people around her. he wanted to give her everything and make her feeling like the most loved person on the planet. his admiration for her and complete head over heels mind brings him back to her hold every day, and he would spend the rest of his life being her hand to hold.

[schrijverr]

I Didn’t Mean to Say I Do, but I Do. I Do. 9

Chapter 9 out of 50

Secret marriage of convenience buddie slow burn AU, where Buck and Eddie have been married for years so Buck could adopt Chris and no one at the 118 knows.

In this chapter, the 118 gets closer through a car accident and a plane crash, while the little family unit Buck has with Chris and Eddie also remains. However, it’s all still on unstable ground, impermanent.

On AO3.

Ships: Buddie (slow burn)

Warnings: internalized misogyny, injury, minor character death mention, addiction mention, referenced sexual assault (vague)

~~~

Chapter 9: Almost a Family

Buck is at the station when he is called again by a number he saved as Abby 911. When she called the first time, it felt nice. Someone checking in on him, giving him some advice, some reassurance, making him feel less like a failure.

However, as he watches the phone ring now, his stomach is filled with nothing but dread.

She got his number from the file. She saw him on the news. She sought him out and called him and is now calling him again. She probably wants something from him.

Maybe if Eddie hadn’t been there, he wouldn’t have had the stupid crush – or deep love but who’s counting – and he wouldn’t have thought about what Dr. Wells did. Maybe he wouldn’t have noticed without Eddie pointing it out. Maybe he would be lonely now and flattered by someone liking him enough to seek him out. Maybe then he would have liked to be called again

But he doesn’t. None of that happened. Instead he’s here and the thought of answering that phone makes him a little nauseous. So, he hangs up the call without picking up, then blocks her number, trying not to feel rude about it. Buck isn’t ready to be back in the dating game. Or the sleeping with people game.

Instead, he tries to focus on his friendships, because he does have a lot of good friendships even if he wishes one of them would be a romance. And one day that non-romance will disappear, so he should cling to what he has, make a proper family out of the 118, so he won’t be alone when he gets left behind again.

And the others reach back. It’s not how Buck would’ve wanted it to happen, because it starts with Chimney getting a piece of rebar stuck through his head. It’s harrowing to see one of their own like that and he doesn’t even feel the usual mixture of butterflies and guilt when he crushes Eddie in a hug when he gets home, just needing his friend to be close.

Waiting for Chimney to wake up is the worst. They’re all climbing the walls and Buck is sure Hen is annoying Karen as much with her worrying as he does Eddie. He is glad to get a call so he can let the nervous energy out, even if he hates people being in danger.

When they get there and get the truck open, the relief to be doing something, anything, dissipates immediately. The truck is filled with immigrants, all in need of medical attention due to the conditions.

Buck and Hen work together to bring a kid back. As he does chest compressions all he can think is how this kid is about Chris’s age. How easily it could have been Chris there. He’s pretty sure Hen is thinking of Denny too.

He talks to their patient and his parents in Spanish, encouraging the boy to wake up, to breathe, then assuring the parents that he’s alive, that he’s okay when they finally get him back.

“I didn’t know you spoke Spanish,” Hen comments when the boy is in the ambulance.

“Lived in Texas before this, picked somethings up,” Buck tells her, because it’s close to the truth anyway. Eddie wants Chris to speak Spanish, so Buck has been trying to learn more right alongside the boy – who is more skilled at the language – Helena and Ramon didn’t care much about him learning, but Abuela and Pepa have taken to trying to teach him, refusing to speak English with him from time to time so he can learn.

“Aren’t you from Pennsylvania?” Hen frowns.

“Yeah, but I traveled. Lived in Peru too, was a bartender there,” Buck smiles.

“Okay,” Hen says after a moment, studying him. It’s as if she is still processing that he can do that and he rolls his eyes slightly.

He knows he doesn’t look it, but he can’t help but be slightly annoyed that his frat boy exterior prevents them from thinking he can’t have his intelligent moments. Sulkily, he thinks, if I took Eddie’s last name, they wouldn’t be so surprised. Before his face becomes beet red at the thought of having Eddie’s last name.

Fortunately, Hen is distracted by arresting the driver after spotting him, so she doesn’t notice his flushed look or thinks to ask more about his Spanish speaking skills.

They’re all relieved when Chimney wakes up that evening. When he seems to understand them and is capable of reacting to their input. It can still go horribly, horribly wrong, but there are positive signs. They need positive signs.

However, they find out the hard way that positive signs doesn’t mean the positivity will last. A plane crashes and Bobby almost gets himself killed to rescue a mom.

Buck gets it, he would die a hundred painful deaths if it meant Chris got out of a situation like that alive. But he also would want someone to fight for him, to fight so he wouldn’t have to abandon Chris, not leave him behind like Shannon had.

Still, he selfishly doesn’t want Bobby to die for her either. Doesn’t want someone he cares about to die, not when he can help. Doesn’t want to be abandoned himself either. So, he helps and together they do one of the most hair brained rescues that Bobby would have never signed off on, if Buck had suggested it under any other circumstance.

These big casualty events always make him want to call Eddie to check up on him and Chris, but he can’t yet. They still have work to do, this call isn’t over yet. So, he’s checking people’s vitals with wet shivering hands, ignoring the way his waterlogged uniform clings to him.

He’s not the only who’s out of it, when they’re finally relieved, the atmosphere in the engine is subdued. Bobby seems to be off in another world with how deep in thought he is and Hen is quietly calling her wife.

Buck wants to call Eddie, wants to hear him be okay and talk to Chris for a bit. But it’s late and unlike Karen, Eddie didn’t marry him out of love. He has no right calling Eddie awake and wanting him to wake up Chris, just for him. So, he just sits there and wraps the blanket that Hen shoved into his hands when she saw him shivering a little tighter around himself.

When they get back to the station, his phone rings, Eddie’s contact lighting up the screen. The others are trudging off to the locker rooms so Buck doesn’t waste a moment fumbling with his numb fingers to pick up. “Eddie? Are you okay?”

“Am I okay? What about are you okay?” Eddie replies, sounding stressed. “I saw your unit on the TV at the crash and then I didn’t hear anything from you.”

Oh, Eddie has been worrying about him. The thought makes something warm bloom in his chest, he never considered the feeling around these kind of accidents would be mutual. The worry makes him feel loved and he smiles: “I’m sorry, Eds. Didn’t wanna wake you or Chris.”

“Well, that- that’s nice, but wake me up next time, alright?” Eddie says. “And you didn’t answer my question, are you okay?”

“I’m fine. Little wet and a little cold, but fine,” Buck promises. He’s shaken up slightly and he’s exhausted to all hell, but those are details.

“Stay there, I’m picking you up.”

“No, Eddie, you don’t-”

“Buck, you’re in no condition to drive.”

“You don’t know that,” Buck pouts.

“I do know that. You’re a stubborn shit and your definition of ‘fine’ and ‘little’ are off, so you’re gonna stay there and let me pick you up,” Eddie says forcefully.

Even if the context is off, Buck’s inside flutter at Eddie telling him he’ll pick him up. However, he is used to that feeling when around Eddie.

It’s been months since he realized he’s in love with his best friend and he’s learned to live with it. It’s a pleasant background feeling that sometimes pokes through the surface, making him painfully aware of it, but most of the time it’s just there.

Right now, he mostly feels fond affection and the fuzzy feeling of being cared for. Even without the romantic aspects of his feelings, he and Eddie are closer friends than average and he cares deeply about him. So, he lets Eddie care for him in turn too, smiling as he gives. “Alright, I’ll wait.”

They hang up and Buck goes to move to the shower, wanting to get that over with so he can crawl into his bed as soon as possible when he gets home. Maybe he can even nap in the car.

He runs into Hen on his way there, who is already dressed. When she spots him in his still wet clothes, she frowns: “Are you okay, Buck?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine,” he smiles tiredly. It’s even true after his call with Eddie. “Just called for a ride, my arms feel like they’re going to fall off.”

“I hear you, I’m gonna sleep so hard when I get home,” Hen smiles back. “Want me to wait on your ride with you?”

Again affection blooms in his chest at the offer. The 118 truly is a family sometimes and Buck has been brought into the fold entirely with little moments like these showing how much they care, how much they all care.

Despite that fondness, he finds himself shaking his head: “Nah, I’m gonna shower real quick, ride should be here by then. Besides, you had a long day too. Go home to your wife, Hen.”

“Alright. Goodnight, Buck.”

“Goodnight.”

Buck doesn’t see Bobby when he goes to the shower, nor when he goes to change or leaves. He wanted to check up on him, but he supposes he’s probably gone home for the night. Buck can’t blame him for that, so he leaves the firehouse in the very capable hands of the B-shift.

Eddie’s truck is right there and he throws open the door with little grace, tossing his bag on the backseat, before collapsing in the passenger seat. It’s only when he’s sitting that the exhaustion sets in and he lets out a long groan.

“Still think you could have driven home?” Eddie asks smugly.

Buck sends him a half hearted glare. “Oh shut up.”

“I think the words you’re looking for is ‘you were right, thank you, Eddie, for picking me up instead of letting me do something stupid,’” Eddie retorts with a bad impression of him, as he drives away.

“Oi, I don’t sound like that,” Buck complains.

“You do a little.”

“No, I don’t.”

“Yes, you do.”

“No, I don’t.”

“Yes-”

“Ugh, stop it,” Buck cuts him off, before he can go on. Too tired to argue. Instead he asks: “How was Chris’s day? And yours?”

Eddie doesn’t have it in him to play offended at Buck adding his day as an afterthought. He knows from the army how on some hard days, you just want to know your kid is okay. He doesn’t begrudge Buck for that or deny him the comfort.

So, he talks about the failed pancakes then cereal for breakfast, what Chris talked about on the drive to school, then repeats what Chris told him during dinner. Beside him, Buck sinks off into sleep pretty soon. He looks exhausted and Eddie doesn’t want to wake him. If Chris wasn’t waiting at home, he would have taken a detour, but as it is now, he drives home and sits in the drive way for a few minutes.

He was really worried today. He’s not used to being on this side. To being home while someone you care about is out there and in danger. Buck has had dangerous calls, but not like this. Not where Eddie knows about it while Buck is still out there, instead of hearing about it in hindsight.

Eddie wonders if this is what it was like for Buck when he was off fighting, if he worried like this too, if he was relieved any time he answered the phone. It makes him grateful all over again for Buck’s presence. That Buck stayed.

For a second, he doesn’t know what to do with the feelings that overwhelm him. He has never had a friend like this, never had a person like this. Someone that chooses him over and over and always sticks by his side. Today, he thought something might have happened to Buck and he could have lost that. It scares him. It makes him realize just how much he has. How much he can lose.

So, he sits there and watches Buck for a moment, tracking the way his chest rises and falls, how his face is slack, ridding itself of the worry and exhaustion.

Then he shakes his head. He’s acting weird. He didn’t lose Buck and he was just worrying for nothing. There is no reason to be all- all emotional about it. He can just suck it up. It’s just the job, the same job he’s going to have soon. Getting stuck on those kinds of things won’t help.

Still, his hands are gentle when he prods Buck awake and he shoos him inside, grabbing Buck’s bag to carry in, because he doesn’t want Buck to exert himself. Buck rolls his eyes at it, but lets him, going on ahead. When Eddie joins him inside after putting his bag in the proper place and getting the dirty clothes out, he finds him at Chris’s door, peeking in through a crack.

“Just wanted to make sure he’s okay. Irrational, I know,” Buck whispers.

He sounds apologetic, he often does when doing something for himself in regards to Chris. Eddie wants to get it into his thick skull that he can do that as much as Eddie does, that there is a reason Chris calls him papi. However, every time he tries the words get stuck and it feels weird. “I get it, I check on him all the time.”

Buck is quiet, just nodding. He doesn’t seem to be fully there mentally, staring at Chris for a little longer. Eddie is about to suggest going to sleep when Buck says: “Me and Bobby saved this kid and his mom.”

“Yeah?” Eddie asks, prompting him to continue.

“We got the kid out pretty easy, but the mom was stuck. Bobby ordered everyone out, but he was going to stay behind himself to save her. I, uh- I stayed behind too. Against orders. It was stupid, but I couldn’t leave them, I had to try and save her. She had a kid to come home too, I couldn’t let her abandon him. I’d want someone to try and get me back too.”

“You made the right call.”

“Did I? Because right now, all I can think is how I nearly died and left Chris to save someone I don’t know.”

“That’s your job, Buck. It’s who you are. You save strangers despite what will happen to yourself, you always try to help. It’s what you did for me and Chris.”

He can see that Buck doesn’t really know what to do with that honesty. “Oh, uh- well… I mean, Chris wasn’t exactly a stranger. You were. I wanted to help Chris, I just kinda got stuck with you.”

“Oh fuck off,” Eddie replies, a grin on his face. It’s a joke to deflect, he knows that Buck is doing it, but he’s not going to push.

“Shush, there are children nearby.”

“Chris is asleep and you should be too. Come on, let’s get you to bed, big guy, you look dead on your feet.”

Buck does shut up at that and Eddie is confused about why he’s red, there isn’t anything too embarrassing about being tired. But he doesn’t point it out and lets his friend save face, instead following him to the bathroom so they can brush their teeth side by side, before they wish each other goodnight and retreat to their respective bedrooms.

The next day, Buck is up with the others. He is still sore, but he has the next day off, he can sleep later. He wants to spend this morning with Chris and Eddie.

He makes them breakfast and drives Chris to school with Eddie in the passenger seat, so he can drop him off at PT. He would like to stay, but he’s buying decorations and gifts for Chris’s birthday that is coming up.

He is half playing with inviting the 118. Chim is in recovery and things might settle down. He wants to open up more, maybe share this part of him and he feels a bit better about it after last night with Eddie saying he saved them.

However, that idea goes flying out the window when he comes in to work and Bobby isn’t there for his shift. Bobby is always there for his shift.

Finding Bobby the way they do is absolutely heartbreaking. He is in clear need of help, of someone to be there for him.

So they’re there for him. They check up on him after rough calls, reign him in when he snaps and sit with him in the quiet hours – though none of them will ever dare to use the word quiet.

Still, they don’t know anything about him, about why he started drinking and why he stopped. Much like Buck, Bobby has a tight grip on his personal life, but Buck now learns that might be because he doesn’t have a personal life. Just a job.

He can’t imagine what that is like, what not having people to come home to is like. He probably wouldn’t have survived some of the things he saw these past few months if he couldn’t come home and hug Eddie or watch Chris breathe.

However, it also makes him realize that no matter how close they’re all getting and how nice it is in the firehouse, he has no clue what these people are like outside of team drinks.

Of course he has faith that they’re good people and with time, they will probably become proper family. But not now. Not yet. It feels too early for something like inviting them to Chris’s birthday party. He needs to know more about who they are outside of work, before he exposes his son to them. Maybe next year.

And it feels like he makes the right call when things get frosty between Bobby and Hen. He doesn’t know exactly what went down on the call at the wedding, but something must have. Now, the team feels out of balance.

Much like them, he can’t wait for Chimney to get back. He hopes the other’s presence can pull things in balance once more. He can’t have this falling apart on him.

Despite his reservations, he has not felt more at home anywhere but with Eddie and the 118. He knows what he has with Eddie is temporary, so he needs this to be permanent. He needs the 118 to survive.

Buck doesn’t really know how to make a family survive.

He never could make his mom or dad love him, only succeeding in temporarily gaining their attention. He couldn’t get Maddie to stay with him. Couldn’t convince Shannon that him being there would make a difference. Could only convince Eddie to build this life with him because there literally wasn’t another option and he married the man with the promise of an easy divorce, even if that hasn’t happened yet.

For him, family has never been permanent, no matter how hard he tries. It all feels unsteady, so he does what he does with Eddie, pretends that he doesn’t feel the way the ground shakes and hopes that the building is strong enough not to collapse in the aftershocks.

And he is thankful for Hen, who despite her frostiness, is capable of making it work. Of making a family.

Through working with her, he has heard about her wife and her son. He loves hearing about her and Karen. He himself isn’t out at work, but hearing her always makes him happy – albeit a little wistful too – and confident that when he wants to share, it’ll be okay.

Hen made her family. He doesn’t know exactly how they got Denny, but she mentioned once he was a child of her ex. Getting to where she is now, she must have worked for that.

So, it makes sense that she’s the one that gets through to Bobby and gets Bobby to open up to them a little over family dinner that day.

He is incredibly grateful to her for that, but he doesn’t say that. He doesn’t want to mess up the good thing they have going on. Doesn’t want to mess up the work she put in. So, he just gives her a nod and a smile and carries on as if this is normal, as if he never thought anything else would happen. As if people always stay, instead of leave.

However, just because he doesn’t mention anything, doesn’t mean he isn’t desperately clinging to it all in the background.

When Hen asks for help planning Chimney’s welcome back get together, he jumps in feet first, doing anything she asks to make sure it’s all good. Up to her standard. Up to what Chimney deserves.

Sure, they’re getting closer, but Chimney is a glue, a heart and they need him back. He can deal with Hen when she gets snippy due to stress, he’s been there long enough that he back talks to Bobby, and is social and open in a way that allows him to pull Buck into the fold easily without it being awkward or forced.

Meanwhile, he’s also planning Chris’s birthday parties with Eddie, since that is coming up soon.

Both are kind of anxious about it. It’ll be the first birthday where no one has recently left or can’t attend and the first where Chris will have a kid’s party at an earlier date, before family comes. Because, yes, Helena and Ramon are flying in for Chris’s birthday.

Chris is thrilled and excited to see them again, Buck and Eddie less so. It’s the first time they’ll be there after the two of them basically fled the state to get away from them. This party has to impress them. Has to prove they’re capable of raising Chris without them.

Buck is glad Eddie isn’t starting the fire academy yet. He will soon, but he’s still getting his strength back and gamely taking Buck’s house wife jokes in stride.

For now it helps that Eddie is available to pick things up and organize things, while Buck busts out his planning skills. However, Buck is jittery and stressed. This has an added layer now. He’s in love with Eddie and he already knows his in-laws hate him, hell, they hate that they’re his in-laws to begin with.

He still remembers Shannon complaining about her horrid ex-in-laws in the Johnson farm kitchen, how he listened to her sympathetically, glad it wasn’t him. Now it is him and, unlike Shannon, he actually wants a family, a life with Eddie, and that sadly involves in-laws. He’s never going to get their approval, he knows that, but he at least wants to impress them.

It’s stupid and he knows it, but he stresses about it and to forget stressing about it, he lets himself drown in party planning.

And it works.

Chimney’s welcome back party goes well, the cake is done one time and everyone from the A and B shift is there. Athena shows up too. Everyone has a good time. He doesn’t even get weird when they talk about Valentine plans, happy that he has a shift then, so he can’t get in his head about it. Plus, they get to enjoy the party, before the alarm goes.

Chris’s party with friends from school goes well too. Both Buck and Eddie are familiar faces from pick up and they’re somewhat friendly with the parents from the other kids. It is a sweet kind of torture to be seen as an actual married couple by them, neither of them having ever felt like explaining the whole situation, since it’s complicated and personal.

The important part is that Chris enjoys himself and no one gets hurt and the house is in one piece at the end. When everyone is home, Chris is in bed, and he and Eddie are cleaning up the house, Buck relaxes a little bit.

He has survived two out of the three parties he planned. The full moon is this week, so that’ll be over by the time party three rolls around. He’s going to be fine.

~~

A/N:

The horrible balancing act of Buck being a chronic over-sharer, but needing him to keep a secret for the sake of plot lmao

[wildlife4life]

Seven (+) Sentence Sunday Monday

Soooo.... I am very late to Seven Sentence Sunday because it is very much not Sunday, but Monday. Yesterday though I really just wasn't feeling up to it. Chores around the house needed to be done, football (american) was being watched, and I am a ball of nerves this week because my daughter is having a minor surgery done (tubes put in her ears) at the end of the week. I decided to stick to reading, liking, and re-blogging everyone else's works Sunday. Today the chores are done, my team won last night (a freaking nail biter), and the nerves are still there, but I'm putting that energy towards working on my fics.

Tagged yesterday by @callaplums @elvensorceress @eowon @lover-of-mine @spotsandsocks @rogerzsteven @devirnis @hippolotamus @disasterbuckdiaz @thekristen999 @daffi-990 @theotherbuckleyand @wikiangela Thank you all so much! You are all so amazing and I am so excited for all your works and I'm sorry I'm so late.

Also tagging those who have showed interest in my fic previously because it is way too late to tag for Sunday lol @hoodie-buck, @giddyupbuck @watchyourbuck @buddierights @jesuisici33 @spaceprincessem @forthewolves @exhuastedpigeon @ladydorian05 @try-set-me-on-fire @fortheloveofbuddie @eddiediaztho @cowboydiazes @cowboy-buck @eddiebabygirldiaz @thewolvesof1998 @loserdiaz @monsterrae1 @911onabc @911-on-abc @bigfootsmom @adiazhalloween @housewifebuck @honestlydarkprincess @arthursdent @glorious-spoon @athenagranted @rainbow-nerdss @gayedmundodiaz @gayhoediaz

Without further ado here is NFL Buck and I have once again hopped back over to the Eddie begins arc with hurricane Harvey.

Eddie trudged towards the kitchen, water now just past his waist. His captain’s voice cackled through the radio, “D-az. The- ie broke. Wa---- fast. We h-ve to pull-.” Static then nothing. He hits the key to ask for a repeat, but the tightening of the harness and three sharp tugs to his waist has his fingers slipping in panic. No no no. “DO NOT PULL ME UP! I REPEAT DO NOT PULL ME UP!” He shouts into the radio, “I HAVE HAYDEN’S LOCATION!” But the tugging continues, and his body is drug back towards the fireplace. Eddie barely registers his hand pulling out the standard HFD issued pocketknife and slicing through the rope with one swift stroke. He needed more time, and his reaction gave it to him. To this day he doesn’t regret it, even at the expense of his own life. On the roof above, Eddie can hear the muffled shouts of the other rescuers and the scrambled thumping of their boots.  They must be trying to reach him over the radio, because Eddie swears, he can hear his last name through the ceiling, but the device stays silent. Most likely dead. Eddie knew the next step of protocol, and another man would be sent down after him soon. He needed to get to Hayden and back to fireplace quick, before either of them drowned in the red brick home that was slowly becoming a waterlogged coffin. With the water now at mid chest, Eddie threw himself forward and started to swim. Every other stroke had some part his body knocking into free floating debris and unseen furniture, heavy enough to stay anchored to the floor. His body was going to sore and covered with bruises by morning, but Eddie didn’t care. Later Eddie would recognize that he was subconsciously trying to make up for his earlier misgivings with his son and Buck by risking it all to save this little boy. That by reuniting Hayden with his mother, Eddie could use that same bravado to stand up to his mother and allow Christopher to be with the man who is his other father in all but DNA and paperwork. Later, Eddie would chastise himself for being so reckless with himself and almost taking away another parent from his son.

Hope you all enjoyed! If you want to see more NFL Buck, just go here.

[lyculuscaelus]

Astronomical Greek mythology shenanigans #1

588 Achilles found himself staring into the darkness that was known as space.

He felt so alive, once again. And he was glad that death had not erased even a bit of his memories. He still remembered how he went under the training of Chiron—now a constellation of stars over there, going by the name “Centaurus”—an honor to the great mentor of heroes; he remembered how his mother disguised him as a girl, sending him among Skyros where his identity could be hidden; he remembered how he fought under the city of Troy, earning great honor and fame until the irascible Atreïdes, shepherd of people, took away what belonged to him, dishonoring the prideful Peleïades…

Speaking of whom, 588 Achilles could now see 911 Agamemnon talking to his a close friend 3564 Talthybius, the loyal herald of Agamemnon. Somewhere above them, the great Cretan king 2759 Idomeneus was engaged in a conversation with his companion 3596 Meriones, and 659 Nestor—that Geranian noble horseman. 588 Achilles did not find either 1437 Diomedes or 1143 Odysseus anywhere—no doubt these two were once again getting up to some mischief…

But he did not find his Patroclus anywhere.

Where could he be? Roaming around in the Greek camp, 588 Achilles still couldn’t find any sign of his therapon, which was unnerving him even more. He did managed to drop by and exchange greetings with his good cousin 1404 Ajax, and he did see most of the Greek camp entertaining themselves with conversations and songs conducted through dust and radiation of various frequencies, during this one and only leisure time of theirs. But still, there was no sign of his best friend.

And then 588 Achilles remembered how Patroclus died. At least, what Antilochus told him of.

A shove by the god. A lance through his chest. A spear in his torso—then on the ground you lay, struggling for breath, with your last strength you whispered a curse, for the one that held fast.

“A curse fulfilled by myself,” 588 Achilles murmured. Why did it feel like it had happened so long ago? 588 Achilles continued to drift forward, trying to look for an answer to all this.

About sixty degrees behind him, the great Jupiter—known as Zeus to them all—kept watching over everything. The Great Red Spot in his grandiose realm continued to brew, wielding storms and lightning on the gas giant, as if a huge eye of the wide-seeing god was holding its glare over both camps or either or none, keeping their fortune and fate in check.

Speaking of which…shouldn’t I be dead already?

588 Achilles looked at his own physical form, feeling so lost. No longer could he feel the hands that were to grasp his spear and shield—not without effort. He didn’t see his armor either—maybe this piece of rock will become what he was—he had no idea. So…is this what death feels like? Adrift in deep space, with other souls that are either dead or alive—but still we are together, the great league of Achaeans, conversing all these feats and sufferings we have experienced in our lifetime?

But then, he saw 3793 Leonteus drifting towards him, almost on a course of collision before the Thessalian soldier spun wildly, converting most of his translational kinetic energy into rotational energy. But then, he accelerated, trying to synchronize with 588 Achilles. And when he did, 588 Achilles asked. “What is it that brings you here, noble son of Coronus?”

“Achilles, we have found something,” 3793 Leonteus began. “Someone, actually. Hiding among a group of soilders, but we know his face almost immediately.”

“Where?” 588 Achilles blurted. “Take me to him, now.”

“He’s right here,” 3793 Leonteus pointed to their right hand side.

And there 588 Achilles saw him. It was rage that came before his disappointment, as 588 Achilles glared at this Trojan, the one he hated the most, the one he had once had his vengeance upon—the one that had landed the last blow to his dear friend, Patroclus.

588 Achilles barely heard 3793 Leonteus’s words through the radio waves—the closest thing he had to a whisper—“a spy”.

For he was already charging towards the huge form of 624 Hektor.

[heavyteddy25]

Bad batch pt2

Jared was heading back to his dorm room after class, he had a terrible time in his algebra class and needed to study for his midterm tomorrow. He finally made it to his dorm where his roommate was chillin in bed. Their dorm was pretty spacious since it was meant for 3 people, but their other roommate dropped out and was never replaced.

Jared: dude I’m so screwed! I have my midterm tomorrow and I haven’t studied at all!

Timothy looked over at Jared and watched him stress out.

Timothy: dude chill just do an all nighter everybody does it.

Jared knew Timothy was right he didn’t need to freak out, he would just put on one of his favorite pajama onesies. The one that looks like a panda and zips up in the front. He headed to the mini fridge they recently stocked up on some new energy drink and downed one. It was surprisingly tasty if not for the after taste.

Jared: hey what flavors did you get? These are not bad!

Timothy: they had a bunch so I got a bunch just don’t drink them all dude I gotta study eventually too haha.

Jared spent the whole night studying till he crashed out in his desk and woke up to sunlight shining thru his window blinds. Looking at the clock Jared realized he was running late for his test! He grabbed his bag and one last energy drink for good luck and out the door he went without even changing from his onesie. He made it to his class with seconds to spare, he sat in his desk and started his test having not yet noticed the changes to his body that started under his pajamas. Jared started to feel a pressure building in his belly he could feel something bubbling inside him. Jared thought he might have had one too many energy drinks it must just be some bloating. Seconds later Jared felt his belly touch the table of his classroom desk not realizing he was leaning over so much he tried to sit back but there wasn’t any room. He finally looked down at himself and saw what was happening, his belly was expanding before him filling out his onesie. He silently freaked out and ran out of the classroom and into the hallway bathroom, in the mirror he checked himself out. Nothing out of the ordinary besides what looked like a basketball under his onesie making the panda print look a little too real. He rubbed his belly realizing it felt firm and taught he poked his newfound girth and it gurgled in response, sounding mad. Something was clearly wrong with that energy drink he needed help he raced towards his dorm room dialing 911.

Phone operator: hello what seems to be the emergency?

Jared: help I think I drank a bad energy drink now I can’t stop growing! My belly is getting huge! I’m heading to my dorm room 211.

The operator asked what he drank and Jared told them the new turbo drinks. The phone went silent and then it hung up on Jared. Not knowing what to do he made it to his dorm room where Timothy sat at their desk. Timothy turned around about to say something but stopped as soon has he saw Jared newfound size.

Timothy: dude what happened to you? You look like you swallowed a beach ball!

Jared was filling up faster now his onsie painfully tight as his belly kept pushing and stretching his outfit till. POP! The zipper running down the front of the onsie burst open revealing Jareds furry belly, swollen and covered in new stretch marks.

Jared: I don’t know what’s happening but I’m so full idk how much longer I can hold it. It feel like my insides are being shredded.

As if on cue his belly let out an angry groan and gurgles were coming from somewhere deep inside Jared’s belly, he could feel it slightly vibrating as it grew. His belly was starting to take up more and more room putting distance between Jared and Timothy. Just as Timothy walked up to Jared’s growing belly he realized it grew in all directions including up it covered the view of Jared’s face as it went up it went down as well. Timothy started poking and prodding Jareds belly feeling it have less and less give. Jared couldn’t help but moan and shiver his skin becoming so sensitive from the stretching he could feel the bottom of his belly reaching the floor he knew he didn’t have much longer. But as suddenly as it started the growing stopped, Jared felt a wave of relief wash over himself and his now 6ft tall belly that now took up half the room covered in stretched out belly hair and stretch marks. Just as there was a moment of silent disbelief of their situation there was a knock on the door.

Stranger: hello!? Open up it’s the paramedics we got a report of someone having a reaction to something they drank?

Timothy opened the door and two muscular men entered the room immediately brought to a halt before they end up bumping into Jared’s wall of belly.

Stranger: geez you weren’t kidding but what could have done this? You sure it was a drink?

Jared: I’m positive! Those stupid turbo energy drinks did this to me!!!

Stranger: I was afraid you might say that. Welp that settles that, can’t have anymore witnesses or evidence….

One of the paramedics grabbed onto Timothy from behind pinning him. Timothy just noticed they weren’t wearing uniforms he recognized or any kind of badges and he had a bad feeling. The free stranger pulled out a vial of a clear substance and a blue substance. He walked over to Timothy and grabbed him by the lips till they parted and forced him to chug the blue vial. Then walked around Jared’s giant firm belly to his face where Jared was going to put up a fight but only being able to reach the stranger with one arm he there wasn’t much fighting. The stranger simply jabbed the belly with his fist causing Jared to yelp out which the stranger then shoved the clear vial into his mouth. Then he stepped back and waited. Suddenly Jared lurched forwards as his belly went back to expanding, Jared began to plead with the stranger

Jared: no please don’t make me pop! I don’t wanna be a balloon like this I don’t know how much more I can hold!

Jared’s skin was becoming shiny and pink you could see little veins crisscrossing all over his every bloating belly. His skin began to creak as the end neared you could see the fear in Jared’s eyes as he began to pant focusing on stretching as much as he can.

Jared: fuck.. so full.. can’t.. hold… anymore!!!

Jareds face went red and his eyes crossed right when he hit his limit then BOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!

[autism-swagger]

i hate you for what you did (and i miss you like a little kid)

It’s moments like these that Tara misses Sam the most. Everything would be better if Sam were around. She’d pay the bills, she’d make sure Tara was fed, she’d love him like their mother was never willing to. Sam wouldn’t have let Tara get hurt in the first place.

But Sam isn’t here.

(Nobody is going to help.)

or

5 times Tara misses Sam while in the hospital + 1 time she doesn't have to.

or

3,095 words of Tara having an awful awful awful life. And then getting a hug at the end.

Trigger warnings: suicide attempt, child abuse, abusive relationships, authority figures being awful at their jobs, brief mention of implied past sexual assault/harassment

—

Age 15

—

Just this once, Tara wishes Amber wasn't the way she is.

If Amber were any less overbearing protective, she wouldn't have climbed through Tara's bedroom window, angry about her texts going unanswered.

(Amber never did like being ignored.)

He knows she’s pissed at him, but what else could he do? How can he be expected to keep going on like this?

Sam is gone .

She left.

She packed up her belongings and left everything behind without so much as a goodbye.

It’s been three months now, and Tara feels disconnected from everything. None of this is real, she’s sure of it.

How could Sam just leave her behind?

She left.

And Tara is still here.

So, three days after her 15th birthday, she swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills, followed by one of her mom’s beers.

She didn’t anticipate Amber wanting to hang out.

They pumped her stomach. Her throat hurts from the tube and her stomach hurts from Amber making her throw up. It’s miserable.

He thinks he hates Amber right now. No, scratch that. He definitely hates Amber right now.

She wishes Amber hadn't found her.

She wishes Amber hadn't called 911.

She wishes Amber just left her to die on that bathroom floor.

She’s alone in the hospital room. She threw things and screamed at Amber until she left.

He wants to cry but he doesn’t have the energy. He wishes it worked.

Everything is awful. Amber probably hates her now. Her mom is never home. There’s barely any food left in the house.

Sam is gone.

There’s nothing to keep going for.

—

Age 16

—

Tara isn't quite sure what he did to make his mom's boyfriend so angry. She doesn't even know the guy's name, for god’s sake.

(It's not the first time something like this has happened. It won't be the last.)

They're in a different hospital than the one she normally goes to. It's a couple counties away, to avoid the staff asking questions. You can only have so many “accidents” before people start to get suspicious.

“Transverse radius and ulna fractures,” the way-too-cheery-for-this-time-of-night nurse had told him, “they’re commonly caused by falls like the one you had. You sure are lucky your mom found you when she got home!”

Right. Lucky.

The story they’re going with this time is that Tara slipped and fell down the stairs while home alone, only to be found by her mom when she got home from work. It’s not true, obviously. Tara’s not sure if her mom even has a job right now. She was there. She watched it happen.

(She sat and did nothing while Tara begged and pleaded for her mom to help, just this once please mom please–)

They’re keeping her for observation overnight, just in case. Her mom is long gone, having only stuck around long enough to drop her off.

It’s fine though. That’s just their routine. Tara gets hurt, Christina reluctantly drives her to the hospital, and they both pretend like nothing is wrong. Everyone is happy and everything is fine .

(Tara wishes the hospital staff would ask more questions. He’s so tired of all of this.)

Looking at the cast on his arm, he starts to panic. How is he supposed to pay for all of this? Tara has a shitty minimum wage job and a couple hundred bucks in her get-out-of-Woodsboro fund. That’s not nearly enough to pay for all of this. She did the math, a broken arm costs upwards of $2,500. Christina’s last job provided insurance, but she just had to go and get herself fired.

The buzz and chime of her phone snaps her out of her spiral. When she checks it, she sees a text from her shift manager:

James called out for tomorrow. We need you to cover his shift in addition to yours. You’d get paid overtime.

His heart sinks at the thought of a double shift, really of working at all , tomorrow, but what other choice does he have? Who else is going to pay for this?

(Some small part inside of her rages and weeps at the unfairness of it all. The Amber-Christina part tells her she deserves it.)

It’s moments like these that Tara misses Sam the most. Everything would be better if Sam were around. She’d pay the bills, she’d make sure Tara was fed, she’d love him like their mother was never willing to. Sam wouldn’t have let Tara get hurt in the first place.

But Sam isn’t here.

(Nobody is going to help.)

It’s hard to type with one hand, but Tara manages.

I’ll be there.

—

Age 17

—

There are rules.

In the Carpenter household, that is. There are rules to follow if you want to stay uninjured and safe. They go unspoken, but Tara has them all memorized.

Don’t talk about dad.

Definitely don’t talk about Sam.

Don’t complain.

Tara is exceptional at following them. She keeps her head down and her mouth shut at home, never so much as rolling her eyes or looking sad. It doesn’t really make a difference either way, Christina always finds some excuse to get upset, but still. It’s the principle of it all, he supposes.

(Some small part of her hopes that if she just keeps following the rules, it’ll all turn out okay. Maybe her mom will finally love her. Maybe Sam will finally come back.)

Of course, she had to go and fuck up the most important rule: stay away from mom when she’s drunk.

He was just trying to tell her that his teachers and principal had requested to meet with her. He didn’t see the bottle until it was too late.

So. Here Tara is. Waiting to get her left eyebrow stitched up at urgent care.

A wine glass to the face will do that to you.

They didn’t even ask any questions this time. Just handed her the intake paperwork, directed her to a room, and told her when the doctor would be in.

Not for the first time, Tara questions the professionalism of the officials in this town. Is nobody even a little bit suspicious? Surely it’s weird for one person to get in this many “accidents.”

(Do they all know? Do they just not care?)

The room is cold. They always are. It makes the warmth of the blood almost painful in comparison. The entire left side of her face is throbbing, even with the icepack and painkillers. She can already feel a black eye forming.

Tara wishes Sam were here.

Tara always wishes Sam were here.

Sam would’ve reminded her to keep away from mom. She was the one to come up with the rule in the first place.

But Sam isn’t here.

She’ll never be here again.

Sometimes he gets so angry at her he can’t breathe. For leaving. For being absent long before she was gone. For a lot of things.

It’s not fair, Tara thinks, in his darkest moments where he’s just so resentful that it scares him, that Sam is the one who made it out. Why did she get to be the one to leave?

Sam was a burnout drug addict who just barely graduated high school and would probably never amount to anything.

Tara is good. She makes decent grades and she plays piano and she babysits on the weekends. She never complains. She doesn’t talk back. She’s good and quiet and does what she’s supposed to.

And yet he’s the one who’s still trapped in this town.

He was born here and he’s going to die here. By his own hand or his mother’s or some creep in a costume.

That’s how it was always going to be.

—

Age 18

—

“It was an accident while we were cooking! She tripped while I was holding a kitchen knife. Tara, I'm so sorry! You know I'd never hurt you on purpose.” Amber directs the last part to Tara, instead of the doctor stitching up the gash on his left arm.

Tara says nothing in return. Just nods.

She doesn't want to make things worse for herself than they already are. Even now, hours later, he can still see the quiet rage behind Amber's eyes. If he just keeps quiet, then Amber won’t get more upset with him than she already is.

It’s Tara’s fault. Really, it is. Amber is still around. She puts up with Tara when no one else will. He should be more grateful. Instead, he just focuses on the past, on people who did nothing but hurt him.

Amber found the box of Sam’s belongings Tara kept under his bed.

(He knows that she would’ve had to have been going through his room to find it. He shouldn’t be keeping secrets from her anyways.)

She’s not supposed to think about Sam. Sam left her behind, so she’s supposed to forget about her. Sam didn’t love him like Amber does. Nobody loves him like Amber does. It’s why they all leave. She makes them leave. She’s just too hard to love.

That’s what Amber says anyways.

“All done! You should be more careful next time.” The doctor says as she packs up her supplies. “You’re good to go ahead and go home now.”

Tara stays silent as she and Amber make their way out of the hospital, only half paying attention to her friend’s nonstop slew of thank-you-so-much’s and I’m-so-sorry-I-didn’t-mean-to-hurt-you’s. 

All pretenses are dropped when they get to the car. The apologetic look on Amber’s face disappears, with no sign that it had been there in the first place. All that remains in anger and indifference. Tara’s heart sinks at the sight of it.

He climbs into the passenger seat, flinching at the slam of the driver’s side door. When she risks a glance to the left, she blanches. Amber is staring straight ahead, jaw clenched and knuckles white on the steering wheel. In other words, she’s furious.

“I’m sorry.” Tara breaks the silence. “I know I shouldn’t have– I’m– I’m really sorry.”

Amber doesn’t respond, doesn’t even react. Just turns the key and pulls out of the parking lot. Five minutes into their drive, Tara tries again.

“Amber, I’m so sorry. I know I should’ve listened to you. I just–”

He cuts himself off, wincing. Amber’s eyes flash with something he can’t name.

“Just what? Are you seriously gonna try and make an excuse right now?” Amber seethes, grip tightening on the wheel.

Tara doesn’t reply, frozen in place like a rabbit spotted by a wolf. Her heart is thundering in her throat. He wonders if Amber can hear it.

“No, seriously. What were you going to say?” Amber continues her rant, steadily increasing in volume. “That you miss her? After everything I do for you?  Am I not good enough for you Tara? You think I’m just sooo awful that you’d rather have some heartless bitch who abandoned you instead of me? Maybe I should just leave you too! God knows you make it hard enough to stay!”

She’s yelling at this point, voice filling up the car. Nothing she’s saying is new. None of this is. Tara tries to hold back her tears, afraid of giving Amber more ammunition. It doesn’t work.

“...I’m sorry.” Tara sobs. At the sight of his tears, Amber softens and pulls over. She parks and turns off the car as Tara quietly weeps.

“You know I just want what’s best for you, right? I know it hurts, but you need to hear this Tara. You deserve it.” Amber sighs, wiping away his tears.

(She’s holding his arm right where the stitches are. As she speaks, her grip tightens.)

“...I know.”

—

Age 19

—

Tara can’t feel anything below her neck.

Actually, that’s not quite true. He can still feel the burning agony in his- well, everywhere .

But that’s mostly mental, she knows. She’s so pumped full of opioids she’s surprised she can move.

(Had he been more lucid, Tara would be freaking the fuck out over being given painkillers, especially ones as addictive as opioids. She doesn’t want to turn into Sam her mom.)

Her friends (minus Wes, who’s off doing- something or other. Tara isn’t quite sure) are crowded around her. None of them seem to know what to do with themselves, all of them fretting over everything she does- and doesn't- do. Her drug-addled brain draws the comparison of a flock of neurotic chickens, making her giggle.

An action that is immediately regretted, of course. Laughing is excruciating when you’ve been stabbed in the torso.

Amber snaps to attention from her place at his side when he cries out, worry evident on her face. She grabs onto Tara’s bruised upper arm, making him wince.

“Are you okay? You didn’t hurt yourself, did you?” Amber questions. It’s nice, her concern. She’s not normally this nice about Tara’s pain. He hums in response, leaning his head forward to rest it on Amber’s shoulder as her arms wrap around his shoulders.

(Briefly, Tara entertains the notion that Amber could’ve been the one to do this, but the thought is quickly dismissed. Amber- she wouldn’t- she only hurts Tara when he deserves it. And he doesn’t think he’s done anything to deserve this.)

There’s a quiet knock on the door before Wes lets himself in, phone in hand. Tara can’t think of anything that sounds less appealing than talking (well. Last night was pretty rough), but the look on Wes’s face worries her.

“...w-what’s wrong?” Her voice is quiet and hoarse, vocal cords strained from screaming. Wes looks conflicted, thinking over his words. After a second, he moves to sit next to the bed.

“I don’t know how to– I just–” He sighs, running a hand down his face. “I called Sam. I didn’t think she would answer but she did. She’s on her way. She’ll be here in an hour.”

Tara doesn’t register Amber tensing beside her, doesn’t feel her get up, doesn’t hear the ensuing argument.

Sam is– Sam is coming here?

That– that can’t be right.

Sam wouldn’t just– she wouldn’t– she–

Tara doesn’t know what Sam would do.

Not anymore.

He’s stuck in place, paralyzed by the thoughts spiraling in his brain.

What if Sam never shows up?

What if she does?

What if Sam is the same Sam from five years ago? The Sam who yelled and slammed doors and couldn’t bear to look Tara in the eye?

(Tara doesn’t think he’d be able to handle that. He’d take that damned knife and finish the job himself.)

What if– what if Sam is better? What if she’s happy? What if she’s finally clean? What if the only thing preventing from reaching that point was Tara ?

What if Sam coming back to Woodsboro (coming back to Tara) undoes all of that?

Tara doubles over and throws up.

—

Age 20

—

Tara stares at the ceiling.

It’s a nice ceiling, he thinks, for a hospital at least. Sam laughs when he tells her as much. Rude.

“Fffine.” (God she loves opioids. Why was she so against using them again?) “See ‘f I ever– ever tell you how I feel ‘bout hospital ceilings again.”

Sam laughs. Again. Tara glowers. She could at least try to hold it in.

“How often are you seeing hospital ceilings?” Sam asks, still chuckling.

“Super often. I was in th’ hospital all the time when you were gone.”

Sam’s laughter cuts off. Tara looks over to see her sister sitting up in her chair.

“What do you mean?” There’s a weird look on Sam’s face, one Tara can’t figure out in the state he’s in.

“Got hurt. A lot.” Sam tenses up as Tara speaks.

The fog in his head clears a bit.

Shit. He hadn’t meant to say that.

“How did you– what were some of the injuries?” Sam asks, keeping her tone light.

They’re getting into uncharted territory now. They don’t talk about the years Sam was gone, preferring to dance around the topic.

Tara looks away. “I don’t– it was just minor things. Just– falls and whatnot. Nothing– nothing bad.” Her voice wavers on the last word. Fuck.

Sam is silent for a minute, before– “Tara.”

She can feel the burning pressure building behind her eyes. She desperately tries to keep the tears at bay, but it’s all for naught. Turning away from Sam, he tries again. “It– nothing happened, Sam. I’m fine. Every– everything is fine.” She scrubs at the tears on her face, willing her eyes to dry. It doesn’t work. “Fuck.”

Sam reaches out and lays a hand on Tara’s arm, urging her to turn around.

(Tara has to fight the instinct to pull away. She doesn't like people touching her, not anymore. It reminds her of Frankie's hands and Ethan's words and Amber taking and taking 'til there was nothing left.)

“Tara. Please look at me.” Sam’s voice is soft and gentle. It just makes Tara cry harder. His throat hurts from holding in his sobs.

Tara wishes none of this was happening. She wishes Ghostface was just a villain in a movie and her best friend was still alive and her mom didn’t hate her and her dad was still around and Sam never left and she bled out on the kitchen floor and and and.

Tara turns around.

Sam’s face falls.

“Oh, baby boy.” She breathes, voice full of regret and sorrow and love and a million other things Tara doesn’t deserve.

“...It’s not fair.” Tara cries. “Why– why did– I don’t– why did they hurt me? I loved them and– and they hurt me.”

He doesn’t resist when Sam pulls him into her arms, hand cradling the back of his head. His stitches are pulling and his left arm is in agony but he doesn’t care. Sam’s embrace is warm. He hasn’t been warm since she left.

Tara wails. She’s been holding it in for a long time. Her whole life, she thinks. Sam just hugs him closer to her body.

“Please don’t leave me Sammy pleasepleaseplease don’t leave again please.” He’s barely intelligible at this point, reduced to begging through his sobs.

“I’m not going to leave, I promise. I’m not going anywhere. I’m staying.” Sam whispers into his hair. He’s just barely able to hear her over his weeping. She says it again and again, repeating it the entire time he cries.

Her face is covered in tears and snot and her arm is excruciating and she thinks she popped a stitch but none of it matters.

Sam is here.

—

[princessamericachavez]

911 6b 6x18 Spec

Idek what this is but I woke up thinking about it.

Based on a lot of BTS info regarding the season's finale, so possible spoilers ahead in between the speculation...

It’s been a terrible day. Eddie’s entire body hurts like hell and even after a long hot shower, he’s pretty sure there’s dust still clinging to his body. When he came back from his last tour, it took weeks to stop feeling covered in sand. He hopes this feeling will wash away sooner than that.

The shower’s stream stops somewhere in the house. Buck must be done.

He’d insisted Eddie go first, this being his house and all, and neither of them had had much energy left to argue. If he'd had the energy, he would've reminded Buck that he's been staying here for weeks now, ever since his loft flooded and his landlord turned out to have been skipping on a lot of safety inspections (Bobby nearly went nuts about it). He would've told Buck that he's never been a guest in this house. He would've told him to suck it up and just take the shower first and let Eddie do something nice for him after the awful day they had.

But he’d suspected Buck still needed a moment to process the whole bridge collapse incident. It had scared them all to death, but the look in Buck’s eyes as the 133’s ambulances took Bobby and Chim away was haunting. Like the sand, Eddie still hasn’t shaken off that feeling from Buck’s last brush with death. Now they got to add another trauma to the pile of worry over their loved ones.

“Is Chris in bed already?” Buck asks, stepping out of the bathroom, and running a towel over his wet curls. Half of his face is still scratched from the incident. Eddie pulls out a first aid kit from the kitchen cabinet and two beers.

“Out like a light. Didn’t even argue for more time for video games.”

Buck chuckles, and even that sounds exhausted. He’d been all energy back in the field, taking charge, jumping into action, pulling him, Hen, and Ravi together when they could’ve dissolved into the chaos of needing to do something. He'd been impressive out there. Now, he looks drained. For all the time Buck spends trying to fix things for others, Eddie worries sometimes that there’s no one there to mend the cracks for him when the day is done.

“Here,” he hands him over a cold beer. “Sit on the couch, we gotta clean those scratches.”

“I literally just got out of the shower.”

“Yeah but we were covered in dust and concrete, Buck. You don’t want any of those to get infected. Sit.”

With a dramatic sigh, Buck lowers himself onto the couch. He doesn’t flop on it like he usually would. Eddie wonders if there are any other wounds he’s not seeing. Not that Buck will openly admit it. He’s bad at asking for help, they have that in common. For now, Eddie will have to focus on the wounds he can see. He sits next to him on the couch and starts pulling out the supplies.

“Close your eyes,” he orders, not wanting to get any alcohol in them.

Buck does as he’s told, though there’s a little crease between his eyebrows when he does. The first touch of rubbing alcohol makes him wince. Eddie apologizes quietly. Buck says nothing but continues to hiss every time he touches his skin.

It occurs to Eddie halfway through the process that Buck is perfectly capable of doing this himself. He really doesn't need Eddie doting on him like a worried abuela, sitting so close their knees brush, gently holding his face to press the cotton against his open cuts. But Eddie isn't an abuela, he's a medic, and Buck is his best friend, and perhaps he hasn't quite washed off the anxiety of watching him rush into danger today. So what if he's being a little protective?

“Okay, done," he announces. "You’ve been literally struck by lightning and crushed by a truck and I don’t think I’ve ever heard you complain this much."

Buck opens his eyes and they crease when he laughs at the chirp.

"It's different. This stings."

"Uh-huh," Eddie teases, as he grabs his beer from the coffee table and leans back against the couch.

A little voice in the back of his head tells him he could move away now, that there's no need for his leg to be pressed against Buck's. The couch is big, big enough to fit them both and Christopher any Friday night. He could move. He doesn't. Neither does Buck, who stays with an arm against the couch's back and his body turned towards Eddie.

"What a fucking day," Buck sighs, deflating, as he takes a sip of his beer. He looks a little more at peace now than when they walked through the door.

"Well, we're all alive so I count it as a good one," Eddie points out.

"That's a very low bar."

"And yet you struggle with it most days."

"Ow, too soon!" Buck laughs, poking him in the ribs.

"Sorry, still not letting you live that one down," because I'm still not sure I've recovered from the scare. "Anyway, gallows humor aside, I'm glad everyone is alright. Good thing the 133 showed up when they did."

"Yeah, I don't think we could've gotten Bobby out on our own," Buck says, his voice dark again for a moment. Eddie is about to ask something, make sure he's alright, but he can see the exact moment his friend pushes the thoughts aside and fishes for a lighter tone. "So... heard you asked Bosko out on a date."

To say Eddie nearly chokes on his beer would be an understatement.

"What- No! That's not-!"

"C'mon, Eddie," Buck laughs. "I heard you asking her out for a beer when we were leaving. And you've been going on all those dates lately, and you always complain that you have so little in common with them, it was a matter of time until you ended up hitting on a firefighter."

"That's not what this is, seriously," he laughs.

"Then what is it, Ed's?"

"It's- Look... Lena met me at a very shitty time in my life, okay? Sharon'd just died, Chris was having nightmares every night, you weren't talking to me-"

"Wait, wait, wait. Is she the one who introduced you to street fighting?"

Eddie catches the accusation in Buck's tone immediately.

"It was meant to be a healthy outlet, a once-in-a-while thing. I'm the one who took it too far," he rushes to assure. "Anyway, Lena was a good friend, and I was an awful one. She called me out on it years ago, last time we talked. I just- I figured it'd be nice to catch up with her, try to be a better friend this time. That's all."

"Sure, that's all," Buck drawls, squinting at him with that same suspicious look he'd given him after the panic attacks when he'd thought he was dying and it turned out he was just dating the wrong person for the wrong reasons.

"Anyway," Eddie counters, "you're one to talk. Heard Lucy asked you out for drinks. And didn't I see you talking to Taylor before we left the scene?"

Buck's face twists with annoyance and Eddie is perhaps a little too delighted to see that particular reaction.

"That's not- Look, the thing with Taylor is over... it's been over for a long time now."

"Since she took your couch."

"Her couch, it was never mine," Buck points out emphatically. "Anyway, she's dating someone else now, some lawyer or something. And even if she wasn't, I don't think we'd ever consider giving it another try."

Good, Eddie thinks and doesn't even feel bad about it.

"And Lucy?" he probs. "Didn't you two kiss?"

"Once, when I was drunk off my ass. And... No. Look, Lucy is great. She's... whatever. But we're too alike. We- When we were together in the 118, it wasn't like it is with you. Lucy and I, we'd race each other into danger, we dared the other to go further, to do more, to be bolder. It was fun, but... it felt like a competition, not like she had my back."

Eddie hums, nodding. He remembers watching those calls from the dispatch. At the time, he hadn't considered that Buck was being particularly reckless —not more than usual, at least— but he remembers the anxiety that coursed through his limbs at the thought of not being there, of not being able to help if something went wrong, to catch him if he fell, to steady him if he tripped.

"I just think that we bring out the worst of each other, you know? That's not what I want in a partner."

Buck sounds steady when he says that last bit, sure of himself, of what he wants. It makes something inside Eddie's chest ping like a guitar cord being struck. He's been going on all these dates, talking to strangers, trying to figure out what he wants. He's never felt more lost. And here's Buck, suddenly sure.

"So what are you looking for... in a partner?"

"Someone who makes me happy," Buck says, meeting his eyes. "Someone who likes me for me, for who I am, flaws and all, who makes me laugh, who really knows me. Someone who makes me better, and who lets me be there for them to make each other better. Someone who really wants to share their life with me, because I'm tired of chasing after people begging them to stay just cause I'm terrified of them leaving. I want someone who wants to be here, with me, side to side."

Eddie tries to speak, but his chest is tight with a sense of recognition. Every word Buck is saying rings true inside him and it's suddenly overwhelmingly clear. Before he can find words, Buck goes on.

"I guess I just want someone that I love and that loves me, too. Someone to face the good and the bad together, to try again and again even when things seem too hard."

Eddie is not in the business of lying to himself... but maybe if he was he'd let himself believe there's a glint of recognition in Buck's eyes as well. He looks like he's figuring something out as he goes like he's finding the truth as he puts it out loud. He starts speaking faster, emboldened, but there's a crack in his voice too like emotion will shatter him.

"Just someone I can feel safe with, Eds. Someone who I know I can count on, no matter what, and that never makes me doubt my worth. Someone who is family, who is more than that, who makes me feel seen like nobody's seen me before. Someone who is my best-"

There are no words. And because there are no words, Eddie does the only other thing he can think of: he kisses Buck. It's quick, and short, with a hand up against the nape of his neck and his heart hammering loudly in his ears. A moment. It's done. It's been a long time coming, now that he admits it to himself, and now it's finally happened. Whatever comes next, there's no taking it back.

Eddie pulls back, breathing heavily. Buck's eyes are closed again, like he's waiting for the sting of rubbing alcohol, and his lips are still parted mid-word. In the seconds of silence that follow, panic rushes through Eddie like thunder (too soon, too soon). Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

Buck opens his eyes and slowly lets out a breath. His eyebrows are raised high with surprise, with something like wonder. Blue irises scan Eddie's face, searching for something.

"Buck-"

There's a beat, when surprise turns into determination in Buck's face and he looks like he's about to do something very Buck of him like jump off a building or run through fire. Eddie catches barely a glimpse of it before he feels warm lips against his, a hand cradling his face, the weight of the other man pressed against his chest, slowly pushing him back against the couch's soft cushions.

It's been a terrible day, but it looks like this might be the best night of his life, after all.

[freneticfloetry]

hi courtney 💜 N, U and X from the alphabet game please 🙏

N - Name three things you wish you saw more of in your main fandom (or a fandom of choice).

This isn’t specific to one, but it seems like most fandoms that have been big for me — The Magicians, Firefly, MCU and Netflix Marvelverse, now Lone Star (we’ll just ignore the Superlock of it all) — have diverse casts, but that diversity isn’t necessarily well-reflected in fanworks. I think part of it is certainly that there often isn’t a wealth of PoC writers and creators in fandom space, but there’s also the age-old fandom tendency to focus most of the fanwork efforts and energy on the prettiest white guys. I’m hoping that, as more canonically queer pairings actually include diverse characters, there will be more inclusivity where other characters are concerned as well.

So that’s one (big) thing. In Lone Star fandom specifically, I wish we had more magical realism! That’s probably a side effect of coming in from a fandom where magic is a main character, but I’d love to see some Soulmarks and daemons and fairy tale lore.

And third, selfishly… I kind of crave some good Grace/Judd/Tommy. Not just in a “that would be hot” way, but in a full-on “making a life together” way.

U - Three favorite characters from three different fandoms, and why they’re your favorites.

I feel like I’ve recently exhausted a fair amount of words sort of explaining why a certain boy breaks my heart and is my absolute favorite, so we’re going to pivot a bit here.

Grace Ryder, 911: Lone Star: Grace was my very first Lone Star love, and I am still so enamored by her heart, her humor, her self-possession, and her generosity of spirit. I remember watching that space station call in 1x10 in real time, and being utterly blown away — yes, the call was tragic, but it was Grace’s wordless reactions that made it truly heartbreaking. The show has a lot of people that make up its beating heart, but she is right at the center. I remain floored that Sierra is the youngest of the cast, when she’s given Grace such boundless wisdom (without it ever going Magical Negro).

Claire Temple, Netflix Marvelverse: Claire is the very definition of capability, and I love that. She’s also passionate and principled and resourceful, selfless but not a doormat, and incredibly sure of and secure in who she is and what she wants. I think she was the most perfect link to tie together all the threads of this universe, and every time she popped up on a new show she made it better. I remain salty that the only place she didn’t venture was Punisher land, because I desperately wanted to see what she would’ve made of Frank Castle (who’s my other forever fave in this verse).

Margo Hanson, The Magicians: It would’ve been incredibly easy for Margo to be an entertaining Mean Girl and that’s it. Instead, she’s whip smart, incredibly adaptable, a talented magician, fucking hysterical, and utterly unapologetic about who she is and how she handles herself. I honestly think she’s one of the single most quotable characters in modern television history. Writing her is a both a joy and a terrifying adventure, but I am always here for her kind of layers. (We won’t talk about how the show completely assassinated her character to pair her up with the most basic bitch guy on the show for absolutely no reason.)

X - A trope which you are almost certain to love in any fandom.

I love Soulmates a lot (like so, so much), but I’m picky about the pairings that get the soulmate treatment — for me, they have to have a certain dynamic. Fake Dating, on the other hand? Bulletproof. Give me two people who barely know each other (even better, two people who barely like each other), throw them into a situation where they have to pretend they’re in love, and have them catch all the feelings, and I will be putty in your hand.

Thanks, Lola! 😘

[captainsavre]

Hey! The shows that got "proper" trailers are the ones premiering on february (TGD, Abbott Elementary), it even says "official trailer". The shows premiering in march got a teaser trailer for the official trailer thats coming probably mid february.

GA got maybe a few more new scenes but a lot of the season finale as well, those are "teasers" for the season and not supposed to show so much new stuff as those are saved for the official trailer. 911 only had cgi and animated promo so all the scenes are new (and they're getting "new series" promo so different). What I mean, we still haven't seen the official trailer

Hmmm okay that actually makes some kind of sense, thank you for the info…

But I’m still mad though 😑 I’m mad because of that scene between Maya and Andy. I’m mad because there’s still no Carina/Stefania in the teaser and why does Greys has more new clips in theirs than S19?! Because Greys is Greys, you can say… yeah but the network should dedicate the same amount of energy and effort to all shows equally… specially when was S19 having the highest ratings and network’s highest numbers, a lot more than Greys actually 😒

Oh and why they didn’t mention the new time slot?!! The audience still think S19 will be on at 8pm when in fact has changed to 10pm… but they surely don’t want to people know that, ‘cause all they want is to the S19 audience watch 911 instead… so it increases 911 views and decreases S19’s and that way they have an excuse to explain the cancellation.

So yeah, it may only be a teaser, not a promo… but I’m still so f*cking mad 😠🤬

nothing against you anon, please don’t take it personally… i’m just so mad at this whole situation 😑

[nque02]

While I’m in the mood to lay shit bare, ig I’ll get this off my chest.

I’m calling it now, I am going to work myself to death. Just a slow inevitable decline of my health, patience, and my sanity. I keep feeling sudden sharp pains in my side, I get random pains in my bones, back, knees. Sometimes my chest just hurts for no reason. Im not even 21, I can’t buy a drop of liquor and I have back pain. The worst part is that I wouldn’t be the first in my family to die from overworking themself if it were to happen.

My father is working himself to the bone, even now on his vacation. I’m gonna go fishing with him tomorrow, but he isn’t healthy. He has no energy, he eats a lot of crappy food, energy drinks, etc. His wife(my stepmom) doesn’t help, she’s insistent that she will get on disability for her mental illness(even though she was able to hold down several jobs in the past) and is making him support her and my autistic brother.

My mother literally died from working too much. Mother of 3 and a single income household. She had no time to sit down and decompress. She would come home, eat something, watch some YouTube, go to bed and wake up for work 5 hours later. She was a saint, she was way to patient and forgiving. My two sisters lived with her, and they let the apartment fall to shit. I can’t blame Autumn, she was 16 and was way too overwhelmed to make any progress. Maddy however. She was a 23 year old, grown women, living in her mothers house rent free. Refused to help clean, barely left her room. Did fuck all to help mom. I know she regrets it but I’ll never forgive her. Mom passed away from undiagnosed diabetes. She barely had enough money to pay the bills, let alone any medical bills. She just ignored her failing health, and kept pushing to support her children. God I miss calling her and listening to her talk. No matter what if she was awake she was happy to talk. We would drive for hours just talking about work, life, just. Anything. I was planning on moving back in with her so I could help get everything under control. Maybe if I took the lead and cleaned the apartment, Maddy and Autumn would help. Mom could relax, and I could help pay her bills so she wouldn’t have to worry so much. She passed away two weeks before my planned move in date. Her heart gave out while she was asleep. I found her laying there. She was resting her head on her arm, she clearly fell asleep, but something was wrong. You could tell by looking at her. I went up to her to try and wake her up, but one touch of the arm and…

Well she was cold. I called 911, they told me to lay her on the ground and to start performing CPR. The ground. God was it a mess, not a clear spot to be found. I couldn’t just lay my mom down in filth, random objects stabbing her back. So I quickly cleaned the area I’d lay her down despite what the operator said, and got to performing CPR.

I could slowly feel the warmth coming back to her as I did it. Her lips were slightly blue when I started, but by the time the paramedics got there they looked healthy and I thought there was a chance she’d be alright. That she’d wake up, and insist that she was fine. The officers who came with the paramedics got my dog from my bedroom, and thank god they did because about a minute later they told me she was gone and that there was nothing they could do. God bless that beautiful dog, he was there when I needed him. Normally he’s a little hellhound that refuses to behave, but he knew something was wrong. He just let me hold him while I cried on our stairwell. After that I tried calling my older sister, but she didn’t pick up. It was Halloween at 2 am after all, the night before she got drunk with her friends and was asleep at that moment. I called my aunt, and let her know mom passed away. She immediately got out of bed, got dressed, and was on her way. I also told my dad, and he did the same. He got Maddy from her friends and came to moms to pick me up. One thing your never prepared for is to see the man, the pillar in your life shaking. Not out of anger or frustration, because… well I don’t even know. I don’t think he knows. They were divorced nearly as long as I had been alive, but he was shaking when I hugged him.

I’m scared he’s gonna work himself to death like mom did, and I’m worried I’m going to do the same. It’s what we have to do to survive after all in this hell scape.

Anyways anyone who reads this. I’m sorry you found your way to my trauma dump. I can’t afford a therapist, and the next best thing is to scream into the void at random strangers

[thebubblesareevil]

My mom Married Superman!

Danny is almost 15 in the beginning

The first time Clark met Danny he thought he was a threat (he is but only a potential one) there were reports of a green portal opening in the middle of metropolis and something flew out. Superman came to the rescue of course and he found the figure that came through. He had gravity defying white hair, purple skin, and he was wearing a torn black and white suit with combat boots and a jacket. (I love this version of his design). The thing that concerned him the most is that he didn’t seem to have a heartbeat . He appeared to be injured, he was bleeding green and holding his side, however when Superman approached him he got defensive and attacked, Superman and the Alien? Fought for nearly an hour before the intruders injuries finally caught up to him and he took off, Clark followed him at top speed and at one point lost track of him. Clark scoured the city looking for him, but the being was gone Clark searched a bit longer before heading back to the daily planet just in time to see Lois heading out for the day. Clark asks her if she would like him to walk her home and she says she’s fine and that’s she’s gonna stop and get groceries anyway. So she heads home and she’s almost home with a bag of groceries when she passes by an alley and hears a quiet groan.

She stops for a moment before she gave in to her curiosity. She pulls out her taser and slowly makes her way through the alley to find the source of the noise. She was expecting a lot of different things, what she wasn’t expecting was a teenage boy covered in blood and some kind of green goo. She says shit and goes to call 911 when the kid wakes up. He sees her with her phone and tries to get up and run away. She tells him to calm down she’s not gonna but him, she calling for help right now. If anything this freaks him out even more he grabs the phone and throws it at the wall yelling NO! When he sees her start to back away. He apologizes and says no hospitals. I’ll be fine just go. Lois on the other hand “says to hell with that! Look kid you’ve got two options; either I call an ambulance, which might be hard considering my phone is now in pieces, or I drag your ass back to my apartment, we get you patched up, and you tell me what’s going on.” Danny just gapes at her for a second before letting out a broken laugh. “What could you possibly gain from helping me?” Lois gives him a predatory grin and bluntly say “one hell of a story, whether it gets told or not is your choice but I wanna hear it”

Danny looked her in the eye, he was barely able to stand, leaning against a wall, he weighed his options. If he wasn’t hurt he would be fine but if the red and blue weirdo showed up again he might be in trouble. On the other hand if he went with her she might betray him. He sighed and said fine but at the first sight of trouble he’s gone. She agrees and goes to help him stand and is surprised and worried at how light he is. “By the way the names Lois, Lois lane.” Danny gives a short “Danny” back

When they get to her apartment Lois immediately got to work. She laid out some towels and got him on the couch. His blood had started to dry so they had to cut his shirt off, much to Danny’s protest. What she found underneath made her blood go cold. Burns, bruises, slashes, and even what looked like bullet wounds, though she definitely couldn’t tell you what kind of gun did THAT, along his side is a massive blast wound. She wasn’t sure how he was ALIVE let alone awake. Once they manage to get him cleaned up Lois gets to work stitching up any open wounds she could, thankful for all the first aid training her dad forced her to learn.

By the time they are done with the first aid Danny is barely conscious. Lois tells him to get some sleep and they can talk things over in the morning. Danny doesn’t really have the energy to argue and so he just lays down. Lois watches as he falls asleep, she turns down the lights and starts to head to her room when she hears a quiet “thank you” she gives a soft laugh and says “anytime tough guy” she climbs into bed and before she dozed off she had the passing thought of “what the heck have I gotten myself into”

————-

The next morning Lois jumps out of bed, not sure what woke her up until she hears something in the other room. She grabs the bat from next to her bed and slowly makes her way to the kitchen. She’s just about to swing when she sees the heavily bandaged teen… cooking? “And what do you think you are doing?” He drops the hot pan spilling grease and now there’s smoke. Before she can even grab the extinguisher the floor is frozen. She just stares at the ice before looking back up at Danny’s panicked face.

“Well that’s convenient, got anymore tricks up your sleeves?“ Danny laughs and says a couple she freezes and says “I was joking!there’s more?!” Danny rubs the back of his neck before flinching. Lois sighs and tells him to go sit down before he hurts himself even more and she’ll order delivery.

Once she’s ordered the food she goes into the other room to see Danny on the ground. She rushes over to help him and asks what happened. He looks absolutely destroyed, and says he “couldn’t change, why can’t I change, what’s wrong with me” she helps him sit down and asks him to explain what happened. He tells her that he has certain “abilities” like the ice and he was hoping to change forms to speed up the healing process. But he couldn’t change. She looks at him and asks change into what? What are you some kinda superhero. Danny looks down clenching his fists and says no, I’m not, superheroes save people I couldn’t even save HER. He grabs his abdomen like he’s in severe pain and just says it hurts… she kneels down in front of him and says that it’s going to be okay, not even Superman can save everyone. He looks at her through pained eyes and says one of the most surprising things so far “who is Superman?”

Over the next hour while they are waiting for the food to arrive they come they discover a few things 1 Danny is from another universe 2 something is blocking Danny from accessing his power (Danny suspects that it has something to do with failing his “obsession”) 3 apparently Danny is half dead (for the last time I am not a zombie) 4 Danny fought superman (still a stupid name) and 5. Danny is never going back if Lois has anything to say about it. A lot to process and not a lot of time to process it. In the meantime they needed supplies. Lois gives Danny her computer so he can learn about this universe while she goes to the store to get more medical supplies, some clothes that will fit Danny, and wine (cus god knows she’s gonna need it) when she got back she found Danny passed out on the couch with the laptop on the floor. She’s just about to pull the blanket back over him when he surges forward from a bad dream reopening his wounds the two of them rewrap his wounds Danny apologizes and says he’ll get out of her hair as soon as possible. She laughed and said you kidding you still owe me the rest of that story youre not going anywhere anytime soon. Danny smiles laying down and saying thank you before falling back asleep.

The next few weeks passes much the same although Danny is healing remarkably fast. The two of them create a sort of routine but one day Lois forgets her phone and Danny decides to venture beyond Lois’ apartment and bring her the phone. He gets distracted and lost twice but manages to find the place without much difficulty after that. He arrives only to learn that Lois has rushed out to conduct an interview with her partner. Perry has exactly 0 hesitation before putting him to work. Lois returns with Clark in tow to find Danny, covered in printer ink, being named the conquering hero for repairing the printer.

Lois leads them in a toast to their dear hero and introduces Danny to all of them as the son of an old college friend who just passed and tells them he’s gonna be staying with her for the time being. Everyone gives Danny their condolences, but it’s when Clark approaches that he doesn’t stop staring. Lois laughs and tells Danny not to worry smallville might look tough be hes harmless before giving him a wink. Danny laughs and says it’s nice to meet him. He then gives Lois her phone and is about to leave when perry calls back to him asking where his new intern is going Lois let’s out a loud laugh and turns to Danny and says looks like you’re stuck here now Perry’s not letting go. She then yells back that he and jimmy are going on a coffee run. Danny likes jimmy olsen he reminds him a bit to much of Wes for him to be comfortable but he likes him none the less, plus he lets Danny get a death wish coffee with a triple shot of espresso without judgement so he has no complaints.

Later that night Lois and Danny get home (doesn’t that sound nice) with their take out and (just because he’s a little shit) just as Lois takes a sip of her drink Danny asks when she was gonna tell him that Clark was Superman? She of course spews her drink all over the place and yells WHAT?!? Before laughing because really clark? Nerdy I can’t see without my glasses Clark? Never seen at the same time as Superman Clark? Surprisingly tall Clark? Highly efficient Clark? The Clark that always seems to have the scoop on Supes’ villains Clark? I’ve never actually seen him WITHOUT the glasses Clark?!? And damn if it didn’t make sense CLARK!?!?!!!

“I’m gonna kill him” “you’re not gonna kill him”

She yells back why not?!! And Danny raises his eyebrow and says you’d miss flirting with him too much. She raises a finger like she’s about to argue but just shrugs and says “you’re not wrong”

Danny laughs and finishes “and besides HE doesn’t know you know or I know, don’t you want to torment him a little. Just a little harmless revenge?” Lois Wipes away an imaginary tear “I’m so proud”

Together the two come up with different ways to mess with Clark, Danny using his limited access to his powers and Lois being well lois and flirting relentlessly talking about all the things she do if she had Superman, getting Clark to play fuck marry kill using Superman Batman and Wonder Woman. It comes to an end however when Clark overhears the two coconspirators planning their next prank. He does the whole sorry for not telling you but I had to protect you spiel that Danny already warned her about so she cuts him off. “I’m not mad at you for keeping your secret, but you can’t blame me for having a little fun with it when we figured it out.” Clark is relieved and things go pretty smooth from their. Danny doesn’t want Clark to know everything about him just yet (how do you tell Superman he went toe to toe with a half dead teen?) but they tell him that he’s a meta and his family situation is… complicated to say the least.

It’s about a month after the big reveal that Danny accidentally calls lois mom. It was at the planet that it happened. At this point everyone had figured out that the backstory was at least partially fake, but they could also tell that Danny did not have the best home life, so when danny is focusing on his homework and says “hey mom can you help me with something real quick” no one said a thing however there were a few teary eyes (perry) not that anyone would admit it. A few weeks later when Lois asks Perry for help adopting Danny she had a team of investigative reporters ready to blackmail every official in the city to grease the wheels to get things going (surprisingly all of Danny’s birth records are readily available, lois suspects Clark, Danny suspects someone a little more…blue). Danny has made it clear to Clark that he doesn’t really want to be a superhero (not again, he can’t fail again) and so he doesn’t bring him up to the league (Batman is already very aware of lois lanes new meta son, how could he not be when Bruce Wayne got 3 different calls from the daily planet recommending their newest intern for the Wayne scholarship). It’s been nearly a year and Clark has fully integrated into the family. With Danny’s help Clark plans a romantic evening and proposes at the top of the daily planet.

Danny was the ring bearer. When clark first told Danny his intention to propose he told him straight off the bat that he would not call him dad, he has a dad, he may be dead(a primordial god?)but he is still his dad. But he might be persuaded to call him paw but he’d have to earn it. (Clark teared up a bit Jonathan Kent loves his worlds best pawpaw shirt) that Father’s Day he got a #2 dad mug (later on as he is walking into the kitchen he finds a blue man with silver hair drinking out of a #1 dad cup who says suck it before vanishing).

It’s not long after Danny turns 16 that things get a little strange. Clark comes home one day stressed and he doesn’t really want to talk about it. Lois forces him to sit down and explain what happened. When Clark tells them he has a clone Danny freezes for the rest of the explanation. He manages to shake him out of his stupor before he asks Clark when he’s gonna meet his step brother. Clark is confused and says he’s not sure what’s gonna happen next but he’s not his son. Danny looks him dead in the eye and says “I know you are freaking out right now and that is OKAY you had your dna STOLEN and used to make a whole person, I’d be worried if you weren’t freaking out, but right now this is not about you. This is about your clone who just woke up, found out that everything he knew was a lie and has no idea what is going to happen to him. He needs YOU whether that’s as a father, brother, uncle, or cousin he needs your support” Clark looks towards lois and he gets a similar response “smallville, he’s right I know you, and I know you’re gonna do what you think is right, but that boy needs a family just as much as Danny did and I’ll be damned if we leave him on his own” Clark looks between the two and says “thank you, both of you, I’m not sure how we are gonna do this but we can give it a try.” Danny gives a small smile and says “I’ve got an idea, it’s crazy but it’s something.” What follows is a very long story and a promise of secrecy.

The next week Clark goes to mount justice to meet with the team. It took a whole lot of convincing but Danny is right there with him when he arrives, looking a little worse for wear after an unpleasant trip through the zeta tube (memories of a cold mechanical tunnel and pain pain pain). When Clark introduces him as his stepson the newly named Conner flinches a bit ( this does not go unnoticed by Danny) and Batman explains that Danny will be helping with training and getting the mountain fully upgraded. The team is suspicious and after the meeting is over Danny manages to sneak up on conner and guides him into the next room with Superman to have an important heart to heart. Everything is not perfect but Clark joins in every now and again with training until the two can get comfortable with each other. Danny fits in well with the team and even gives out pretty good advise every now and then. It has not slipped by anyones notice how protective of Conner Danny can get but hey he’s his little brother who can blame him? And it’s not like Conner hasn’t gotten pretty protective (he saw Danny without his shirt ONCE that was more than enough) Danny flirts relentlessly with Kaldur who is fully convinced he’s joking, Conner is convinced his older brother is a hopeless idiot and is honestly not shocked that he managed to get a girlfriend before he did. M’gann thinks it cute and tries to help Danny.

Everything is going great until Zatara brings his daughter to visit the team. She just keeps STARING at Danny, she’s not mean, she’s not rude, she doesn’t flirt, in fact she is downright friendly to Danny. It’s the staring that annoys Conner and Kaldur (for very different reasons) and after her father is taken by the helmet of fate that she really starts to hang out with Danny more. She won’t explain but sometimes she looks sad when she looks at him.

(Danny tries transforming over and over again even as the pain gets worse with every attempt before the team finds him collapsed in the middle of the base, he refuses to explain. His core so very slow to heal itself so certain of his previous failure scared to fail again). When Danny finds out that lex Luther is blackmailing and mind controlling his brother well let’s just say. You can’t prove a thing and neither can lex and that’s what matters (he still shudders at the neon green color of the kryptonite he keeps with him at all times)

When vandal savage makes his move and the team is forced to fight the league the light managed to get a chip in Danny’s neck and klarion decides to play a little. As the team is making progress klarion pulls out his hostage and orders him to unalive himself. The team screams Danny does nothing, klarion repeats the order and still nothing, as he starts to throw a tantrum Danny turns his neck fully around his green green green eyes staring into klarions soul and said in the dead tongue.

Wͦh͕̻̟́ͩ̇͂͊o̗̗͓̞͑ͪ̅ ̞͉̻̺̟̓̀ͥͦ̽̉a̞̣͈͚̱ͮͮ̇r̻̦̉ͩ̆ͅe̻̱͎ͧ ̫͔̔ͧͤ͐̾ͣ̀Y͚̰̦̠̰̏̑O̜̭͍͉̥̍Ú̹ͭ̏̇ ̞͒͗̿ͫt͖̣̮͚̩ͬo̭̯̮̳͕̽̐̎ ̝̤c̝̠͔̈́̄o̖͍͔͕̎͌m͇͍̲͋ͪ̄͑ḿ̻͚͎͊̍ͧ͗̊ȧ͆͌ͨ̑n̖͚̳̹ḋ̼̱̮͙͙ͥͧ ̥̮͈̞̆̉͑M͚̲̹ͩ̿̆Eͥͯ͗ ̗͇͓̹̣̠͍ͦͭͪ͐w͓̳ͨ̋̎ḭ̜̤̲̘̼̭͗t̲̹̻͔͓̞̂̓ͅc͖̻͚̯̠̤̳̑ͣ̔͆̃̉ẖ̞̝͈̘͉͍̍̈̑ ͙̯̠̋͗͐ͩ̒b̭͔̓͑o̰̺̼͖̫͖̽́̑ỵ̘̩͉͇͙̓̍ͣ͐͑͊̒

Klarion backs up and when vandal tells him it’s time to go he does so without a fight. Danny returns to normal as soon as they apply the cure Kaldur catches him as he falls and looks at the rest of the team and asks “what just happened” Danny doesn’t tell them he can’t.

As time passes Kaldur and Artemis end up going undercover, Danny is never convinced of Artemis’ death no matter what dick says but doesn’t tell anyone. While klarion is no ally to them he does not harm Kaldur even when he clearly wants to after all “he wouldn’t be to happy if his little toys got hurt” Danny starts college double majoring in astronomy and mechanical engineering but he drops in every now and again to visit Conner, wolf, and sphere (he always brings a new squeaky toy for wolf each time he visits, reminded of how much cujo loved his). The mystery of who Danny is stays a mystery, until a new plot arises.

The News arrives by way of doctor fate, the ancient sorcerer felix Faust has summoned an entity from another universe to siphon its power as his own. The team move in immediately. Across the continent Danny is having dinner with Lois and Clark when his core starts to BURN

He falls to the ground and both rush to help him but there is nothing they can do. Danny does something he hasn’t been able to do in over a year. He calls to the ring of rage and a portal opens in the middle of the apartment. From the other side they can hear a girls bloodcurdling scream Danny drags himself through the portal followed by Superman and on the other side he sees a face he never thought he’d see again.

Elle is stuck in the middle of the summoning circle angry and In pain, screaming, she sees Danny and her face is so filled with hope she reaches for him only to be shocked by the barrier. Danny is barely being held back by superman before Danny says in a whisper only someone with super hearing could hear “cover your ears” both Conner and Clark do so and Danny looks right at the boosted Faust and he

Sͦ̒C̫̦͛R͊́͌̓E̲̹͓̰͗͐͛̈͆Ā͖̔ͧM̜̪̺̭̊͐S̥͙͚̰͚̘

Everyone covers their ears trying desperately to block out the screams in vain. Faust is on the ground but Danny just keeps screaming until a bright light surrounds him and he is replaced by the glowing form of Phantom, above his head there is a freen flaming crown he vanishes and reappears right in front of Faust

iͤf̰͂ͫ̄̎ͪ͛ͭ ̝ͪ̏͂y̹̬̺̍̌͊ͅo̞ͦù̺͓̞ ̬̔ͬe̦̯̣̹̞̒̌̆̋̐v̪̗͓̲͈̹̓ͥe͈̜ͣ̔́ͯ̍͒̚r̫̎̉̂͑̀̈́ ̼͎͋ͭlá̟̰̮ͨ̐ͅy̬̖ͅ ̞̥̈̄͋̊̎͆à͔̻͇̮̈́͋ͬ̑ ̤̯̘̝̂ͤͯh͖͎́̅̍ͤ̅a͇ǹ̺͖̩̻̣̊̈͑̌ͣ̈d͙ͧ ̯̣̭͓̦̾ō̹̰͇͙̓̐ͤ̑̋ͦn̰̘ͯͪ̃͐̈ͮ ̪̗͖̫͚͊̾ͣ̽ͦh̬̰̠̞̻̹͑͊ͮ͛̑̍ȅ͚̆̄r̤̠̼ ͎͇̾á̟̩ͤ͌ͭ̈͗ͅg̖̪̰̗̳̘̍̅́a͓̝̻̾̉̏͌i͍̭n̖̮͎̼̗͚ͭ͐ ̙̥̫̜̱̖̩t̰̳̭̜͐ͧ̒h͍͖̮̣̘̼̖ͫi͎̣̬̲ͥͤ̇ŝ̠͖̦̗̻͔̮ͧ̆̾ ̯ͭ̄͗ͪ͒̾w̯͕̲͇̦͍̔͊̋̋i̜̠̳̳ͦͥͥl͚͕͔̫ͤľ̜͇̦̲͍͉͎͗̈́͂ ͖̱͎̩̺̺ŝ̩̭̼̤̰ͤ́͐ͦ̚ê̫̮̤͇̺͙͂͒ͦ̔̾e̬̰̠̤̫̾ͥ̊m̜͚̥̱̰͇ͫ͛ͥͩ̿̚ ͥ̌̽̈l͚͎̼̪̳͙̦ͭ̃́̌ͫ͗͛i̼̠͇̼̍k̪͕͉̭͎̩͐ͦ̓̒ͨḙ͙̤̞͉̐ ͔͉͈̠̈m͉̖̀͛̔̉e̘̹̬̩ͧ̐̇͆ͫͧ̚r̭c̬̫ͬ̑̑͒ͯͭy͎͎̼̦̗̝̱͋́͐̽ͣ̽

Faust then collapses before the ghost. Danny rushes over to Elle freeing her from the circle, followed by Conner and Clark. After a touching reunion they all return to the ship where Clark asks if Danny is gonna introduce her? Danny laughs and says sorry almost forgot “clark, Conner meet Danielle, my clone/cousin/would be assassin” seeing their shocked expressions Danny says don’t look so shocked I am not the only one here that has been cloned which leads to Elle thoroughly bombarding Conner with questions.

(When asked why she never told him she was okay she explained that normal ghosts can’t travel through universes dumbass)

When Elle finds out about about Danny’s crush she teams up with Lois to get them together. It was chaos pure and simple

[allthingsfangirl101]

Lifeguard Fun–Joe Keery

Usually being a lifeguard at a fancy hotel was easy. Just families on vacations and teens on Prom night. Once a year, our hotel hosts a press tour for Netflix. Each time we host it, it's a different show. This year it's the cast of Stranger Things.

And they were by far some of the worst guests we've ever had. They were children, running around the hotel, destroying anything they can get their hands on.

The worst part was the pool. They've come down every day after their panel. And every time they do, the girls sit outside and tan while the boys put all their attention on me.

"Hey!"

I turned around and looked down to see Joe Keery smirking up at me with the rest of the Stranger Things boys standing behind him.

"Can I help you?" I sighed.

"We were just wondering what it was like to lifeguard at a fancy hotel like this," Joe said. I rolled my eyes at his not-so-subtle attempt of checking me out.

I crossed my arms over my chest and sighed. "It's more like babysitting the water than babysitting swimmers."

They kept trying to get me to talk to them, but eventually, they had to go get ready for an interview or something. I wasn't listening and I didn't care. I was just relieved when they were finally gone.

I didn't see them for a couple of days which must have meant they had a busy schedule. The day I did see them, I was not excited. The girls went back to tanning and the boys went back to roughhousing by the pool.

"Alright, boys," I sighed. "Take it easy."

"Aww she's worried about us," Charlie cooed.

"It's my job," I deadpanned.

"We got feisty lifeguard today," Joe teased.

"Just try and not hurt each other," I sighed.

The rest of the afternoon, the boys continued to run around the pool. It didn't matter how many times I told them not to run, it just made them run faster.

"Whoa!"

I looked over, my lifeguard training kicking into gear when I heard a splash. I ran by the kids, ignoring their shouts as I dove into the pool. I swam over to an unconscious Joe. I wrapped my arms around my waist and swam to the surface.

"Call 911," I instructed the second I broke through the surface.

I swam Joe over to the shallow end of the pool and pulled him out. I carefully set him down.

"Is he going to be okay?" Gaten panicked.

I leaned down and listened for his breathing. When I heard nothing, I quickly sat back and tilted his head.

"Did you call 911?" I asked.

"Yeah," stuttered Finn stuttered. "They said. . ."

He stopped talking when I leaned down and started giving Joe CPR. The kids continued to watch as I went back and forth from doing chest compressions and giving him mouth-to-mouth.

After a few more attempts, Joe woke up and coughed up water. I rolled him onto his side so he could get the water out of his lungs. That's when I saw the blood.

"Who pushed him into the pool?"

When they didn't answer, I asked again. "Which one of you idiots pushed him into the pool?"

"I did," Charlie stuttered.

"Well, congratulations, Hulk. You pushing him in caused him to hit his head at the bottom and almost drown."

I stood up but stopped when Joe started to sit up. "Whoa," I said, stopping him. "Take it easy, Joe. You need to wait until the ambulance gets here. They'll take a look at your wound and make sure it isn't too bad. They need to clear you."

I sat with him until the ambulance arrived. As soon as they got here, I left. I went back into my locker room and changed out of my suit. I quickly threw my hair into a braid before leaving. I was walking across the lobby when someone yelled to catch my attention.

"Hey, lifeguard!"

I sighed, rolling my shoulders, before turning around. I didn't even have the energy to put my "customer service" smile on. One look at Joe's smirk and the anger I've been holding back all day snapped.

"You know what?" I deadpanned. "You and your famous friends have been harassing me all week. Then I saved your ass. I'm really not in the mood for this one way back and forth anymore. So, if you don't mind, I'd like to go home and try to forget about the fact that I work here."

I started to walk away but he quickly jogged and caught up to me. I gasped when he grabbed my wrist.

"I'm sorry," he sighed. He looked down at his hand on my arm and quickly let me go. He ran his fingers through his hair as he struggled to think of something to say.

"You're right," he said. "It was rude and childish and we never should've treated you like that. I especially shouldn't have allowed my friends to continue to tease you."

"That wasn't teasing," I said as I crossed my arms over my chest.

"You're right," he said, slightly clearing his throat. "That wasn't teasing. That was harassing."

"Can I ask you something?"

"Of course."

"Why? Why treat people like that? I mean, did you ever once stop and think how those comments would make me feel?"

"I'm not usually like that," he tried to defend himself. He laughed when he saw the look on my face. "I just mean that I'm expected to act a certain way, but it's not my style. It gets confusing. When I'm around people, I don't always know how to act. Especially if I like them."

"That's no excuse, Joe," I sighed, ignoring his comment about liking me. "Fame shouldn't influence how you treat people. It shouldn't influence any kind of behavior."

"You're right," Joe sighed. We stared at each other for a minute before I sighed and broke eye contact.

"Look," I sighed. "You guys leave tomorrow so let's just forget it."

I was about to walk away but he spoke up and stopped me.

"I can't."

"You should," I said, turning on my heel towards him. "Tomorrow, you are going somewhere else and I doubt you'll be back any time soon. You apologized. That's enough."

"Wait. . ."

"Travel safe, Joe."

As I walked away, I heard him mumble the last thing I expected.

"I don't even know your name."

                                * * * * *

The next day, you could tell the cast was gone. The rooms were being cleaned out, there wasn't any yelling in the lobby, and no one visited the pool multiple times today.

"Hey, Y/N."

I looked up and smiled when I saw Libby, the other lifeguard at the hotel.

"You off to lunch?" She asked.

"Yep," I sighed. "I'll be back before the afternoon rush."

I walked out of the employee lounge and grabbed my keys out of my purse. I was busy looking at my phone that I didn't notice someone coming into the hotel.

"Hey, lifeguard."

I looked up, my throat getting stuck in my throat when I saw who had called out to me.

"Joe," I whispered. "I thought. . . You guys left this morning."

"The rest of the cast did," he chuckled awkwardly. "I told them I'd catch up."

"Why?"

"I just did," he shrugged. He cleared his throat before saying, "Actually, I couldn't sleep last night. I hate the idea of you thinking poorly of me."

"Joe," I tried to interrupt him.

"It's not that I couldn't sleep because someone thought poorly of me," he continued. "It's because you thought poorly of me."

"Why do you care so much what I think about you?" I asked. "I'm just the lifeguard at a hotel you stayed at."

"No, you're not," he said, taking another step towards me.

"You don't know me," I sighed.

"I'd like to."

"You don't mean that," I said under my breath.

"I do. . ."

"This hotel caters to a lot of actors and actresses. They all come and go, never blinking an eye. They definitely don't come back. I've been through this, Joe. The hotel lifeguard is always ignored. The occasional actor will try to communicate with me, so they aren't seen as a stuck-up actor. That only last one, maybe two conversations. Nothing more. That doesn't mean you should feel the need to go out of your way to be nice to me."

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

"You don't have to be," I shrugged. "Working around actors and actresses without being one, you get used to it."

"You shouldn't have to," he said quickly, almost like he was angry. He sighed before saying, "I'd really like to help show you that we aren't all like that."

"How?" I found myself asking.

"You about to leave on your lunch break?"

"I am."

"Would you like some company?" He asked with a nervous smile.

"One lunch won't hurt anybody."

[loving-all-for-loki]

How about a Loki x reader.. Tony moves his baby sister into the compound after something happens to her but he won’t tell anyone what. She refuses to leave her room until everyone is in bed. She comes out one night and is caught by Loki. She immediately apologizes and becomes so shaken up that she drops her things and breaks a glass. Then it hits him why she was secretly moved in. Tony had discovered his little sister living in a bad situation with her now ex and suffered years of abuse. Loki decides then to take his time to make her feel safe again and they eventually fall for each other.

A/N: I hope this works! I got really sappy at the end, but I also don’t know how to end these one shots. This is a bit of a lengthy one, so bear with me.

He’s Not Him

Summary: Tony Stark has enough of his sister’s ex and moves her into the Avengers Tower. After taking notice of her shy and timid behavior, Loki digs deep at her past, making him want to make her feel safe.

Pairing: Loki x Stark!reader, Tony Stark x Sister!Reader

Word Count: 2993

Warnings: fluff, angst, mentions of domestic abuse, language

Forever Tags: @mm2305

Y/E/N - your ex’s name

*If you or someone you know is being domestically abused, please reach out to 911 or call 800.799.SAFE (7233) for help. Love you all*

-

Tony storms into his sister's apartment. After standing outside of her door for a half hour, he bashed in the door at the the sound of a scream from inside. Frantically, he pushes his way around the furniture and bursts into your bedroom. His eyes go wide at the sight of you on the floor in a ball and your ex boyfriend above you with a fist out. Stark grabs your ex’s fist and rips him away from you, pushing him into your dresser.

“Get the fuck out!” Tony screams.

“Oh, the great Tony Stark is here. What are you going to do? Drop a bomb on me?”

You’ve never seen Tony’s skin turn so red. He storms forward and punches your ex square in the nose, sending him down on the ground. Tony unleashes all his energy until the man is left with a broken nose and multiple bruises.

“Get. Out.”

Your ex runs out of your room, without missing the chance to break a few things, and out of your apartment. You look up out of your ball to see Tony rushing to your side with panic in his eyes. He lifts up your head as you climb into his lap.

“Come here, darling. You’re okay. You’re safe now.” He coos.

You cry into the crook of his shoulder as he rocks you back and forth, his hand on your back.

“I’m getting you out of here,” He says, placing you on your bed, “I’m taking you to the tower with us.”

Tony leaves you on your bed as he gets a suitcase and packs your things. He gathers all of your clothes and some of your possessions like books, drawings, and others. You can feel the tears starting to dry on your skin as you stop crying. Tony doesn’t miss the way you start to uncurl and the bruises on your neck show up. His face drops to see the choking marks on your neck.

“I’m… so sorry, Y/N. I should have been here to protect you.”

You shake your head at him as he joins you on the bed. Tony reaches around your head to undo your ponytail and cover the bruises.

“There, now no one will ask you about them.”

You give him a gentle smile which eases him a little. He leans forward and kisses your forehead before taking your hand and helping you up. Tony and you walk out of your building and into the garage where Happy is in the car. He drops you off for five minutes to go talk to your landlord about you leaving.

“You’re going to be okay,” Happy reassures you.

“Thanks,” you manage to get out.

He gives you a warm smile. He has always made you smile throughout the years. Tony comes back, joins you in the car, and takes off to the tower.

Upon arrival, you look up at the large tower in awe. You’ve visited a couple of times, but that was a year ago since your ex didn’t allow you to see Tony much. It’s always been impressive. You were thankful for Tony letting you live on your own and make something of your own life instead of letting you mooch off of his fortune, but you do regret sometimes not letting him support you more. You were always so proud of him.

Tony carries your luggage as he leads you to the elevators. He looks down at you every so often, noticing the anxious way you bite your nails.

“You’re safe here. We have the best security and you’ll be surrounded by trained assassins and heroes. They’ll protect you, I promise.”

You nod your head at Tony’s words. As much as they help you, you don’t really want to see or talk to anyone. After having your ex break into your house every day for two weeks, you want to be alone except for the occasional visit from Tony.

The elevator doors open and reveal you and your brother to the Avengers who are all lounging in the living area. They turn to look at you with puzzled faces, making you nervous and hide behind Tony’s arm. He lets you stay behind him instead of forcing you to say hi as you exit the elevator.

“Everyone, this is my sister, Y/N. She’s going to stay here from now on so be nice to her,” Tony announces.

Everyone says hi to you but you stay silent behind Tony. He doesn’t question it even though the others look at one another in concern. Steve thinks to himself that you can’t be that rude, but given the way you look, everything must be very different to you from the rest of your life. You look shocked and scared.

Looking at the Avengers, you take in each and everyone’s appearance. Bucky and Nat look the scariest in your opinion and you make a mental note to stay away from them. Sam, Steve, and Clint look nice, but Wanda looks like the sweetest lady in the universe. She has a smile that warms your heart. Turning to your right, you see two very tall men standing and staring at you.

The taller one has blonde hair and a big grin on his face. He has a large stature, but he does not look intimidating. He has a golden retriever energy to him, but the man next to him is a different story. With his pitch black hair and powerful stand, the other man stares at you with daggers in his eyes. He sends shivers down your spine without saying anything.

You drag your eyes away from the intimidating man and follow Tony down the hallway. He leads you to your room where you get settled in, unpacking your clothes and putting away your things. Laying in the bed, you take a big nap which is needed. You feel as if you let out a breath you’ve been holding for days. The idea of being away from your ex finally settles in and you feel the wave of relief wash over your body, letting you drift away into sleep.

You’re woken up by Tony letting you know dinner is being served. He lets you know that you’re not being expected to come out and eat with everyone, which you appreciate. Ten minutes later, he comes by your room and slips a plate of food in your room as he opens the door, letting you eat alone.

Tony returns to the living room by the other Avengers eating and gathered around the couch. He takes his plate and sits next to Pepper who has her own food, smiling at him as he joins.

“So, your sister?” Sam asks.

“Don’t even think about it. She is not to date any of you.”

“Woah, I didn’t say that,” Sam laughs.

“But we know what you meant,” Steve chuckles, rolling his eyes, “She seems shy.”

“She is. You probably won’t get a lot out of her.”

“Can I ask why she’s staying her?”

“No.”

Steve shares a look with Bucky. The elevator door opens and Peter walks into the living room.

“You guys started dinner without me?” He asks, jokingly.

“Early birds get the worm,” Steve laughs.

The group chuckles and keeps eating their food.

“Is Y/N a new Avenger?” Steve asks.

Tony sighs and rolls his eyes at the question. Everyone notices the annoyance in Tony with talking about you and collectively decide to stop asking questions. It’s clear he doesn’t want to talk about you much.

“No, she’s not.”

“Who’s Y/N?” Peter asks.

“I’ll fill you in later,” Nat replies.

The day goes by fast and you find yourself staring out at New York in the moonlight. You have always enjoyed the night time. They say New York is the city that never sleeps, but you’ve always found peace and warmth in the New York night. Everyone goes out to party or to bed. It’s a time of joy and relaxment.

You hear the last door shut for the night, signally everyone going to bed. Looking outside of your door, you don’t spot anyone so you sprint outside to the kitchen with your empty dinner plate. Upon entering it, you search the walls for the light switch for about five minutes. There’s no other light than that except for the over. You finally find it and switch it on. As you turn around, you’re startled by the frightening black haired man standing there.

Scared, you drop your plate, shattering it on the tile floor. Your eyes go wide as you start to back up against the wall. Without saying anything, the man takes a step forward, scaring you half to death. Your mind plays tricks on you and all you can think about is your ex breaking into your home. You start to have a panic attack, sliding down against the wall, and curling up into a ball.

You miss the way Loki’s eyes go wide. He watches you descend into an anxiety attack and doesn’t know what to do, knowing he’s who caused it. Quickly, he rushes down the hallways and bangs on Tony’s doors.

“What do you want, Reindeer Games?” He groans.

“Your sister…”

Tony doesn’t wait for another word for following Loki down the corridor. He spots you panicking in the corner of the kitchen and grabs you, lifting you into his lap. You grab onto his neck and pull him close, crying into him. He lifts you up and carries you off to your room without saying a word to Loki, leaving him standing in the kitchen agape.

Not knowing what to do and unable to relax, Loki makes his way to his room and opens up an old laptop Thor had gotten him. After spending thirty minutes just to figure out how to work it, he starts googling things about you. He starts with your name and finds multiple articles on you and Tony, the Stark Industry Golden Children. You left when you were eighteen, wanting to make your own life and not follow in the family’s footsteps. He gives you credit for being yourself, something he had struggled with. He knows the feeling, not wanting to be your family.

Then a certain website catches his eye, Facebook. He finds a profile of you filled with photos and text. There are some of you with friends in the town, a couple of old coworkers wishing you a happy birthday, then there’s a photo of you with a man. There are no other photos of you with him other than this one a couple months ago. He keeps scrolling to find more photos of you with him, but they all stop after that first one. Clicking on something tagged in the caption, another profile pops up.

Y/E/N’s profile. Filled with photos of drunk nights at the club, shirtless gym time, and quotes from misogynistic authors, Loki finds himself despising this man he does not know. He scrolls through finding very little of you in his account, as if you don’t matter as much to him as he does to you. Closing his computer, Loki decided to go check on you. He’s frustrated by whoever this man is, not knowing whether he’s important or not.

Loki peeks into your room to see Tony laying next to you, brushing through your hair with his fingers. Tony looks up and meets him in the eyes. There’s slight anger, but Loki doesn’t feel pushed away. He takes a step in before Tony leans into your ear and whispers. You look up and over to Loki, but you don’t ask him to leave. Loki continues to walk into your bedroom quietly, but with a small gentle smile on his face.

“I’m sorry for scaring you earlier,” he says, “I didn’t mean to.”

“I know. Thanks,” you mutter.

Your voice is small and timid like a mouse. He can hear the hesitation in your voice, not knowing whether he should talk to you or not.

“Are… you okay?”

“Yes.”

Another awkward pregnant pause erupts between the two of you. Loki looks around your room as Tony continues to hold you. He whispers into your ear again before leaving.

“I’m going to go back to my room,” he says, “call me if you need me okay?”

“Thanks, Tony.”

“Of course, anything for my little sister.”

He kisses your forehead and heads out of your room, leaving you and Loki alone. You don’t mind his presence anymore. After Tony tells you that Loki isn’t your ex and you’re okay, you’ve accepted him.

“I have to ask… who is that man on Facebook?”

Loki gives you a quizzical look. You think for a moment about how Loki got on Facebook and what guy he’s talking about.

“His name is Y/E/N.”

Your body clenches at the sound of his name and Loki takes a step back, looking at you. He’s never seen anyone physically close up just from a name. It may be some Midgardians thing he doesn’t understand, but the way that you are shaking, he thinks otherwise. He sits down next to you and wraps his arms around your shoulders. You lean into his touch as you attempt to calm down.

He’s not here. I’m safe. He’s not here. I’m safe.

You keep repeating that in your head, reminding yourself that you’re safe in the tower like Tony said. Looking up at Loki, you see his concerned face. He cares. This man you barely know cares about you.

He’s not him. He’s not him. He’s not him.

“I don’t think I properly introduced myself. I’m being quite an ass asking you these questions without manners. I’m Loki.”

Loki, not Y/E/N. He’s not him. He’s not him.

“Well, L-Loki,” you say with a stutter, “He’s uh… my ex. Ex boyfriend.”

“Ah.”

He nods as he takes in the information at hand. Your ex, who makes you quiver in fear even over people who have done nothing to her, has no photos of you. He shares his lavish lifestyle that most would presume belongs to a single man. Loki looks back at your depressed ridden face. The color in your skin has drained from you and you’re staring blank cold at the wooden floors under your bed. Loki places a hand on your neck to move your hair and give you a light massage, but you flinch away from him before he is able.

Loki’s never seen so much fear and worry in someone’s eyes before. You jerk away from him muttering yourself, as if it were taking everything in you to not scream. He looks over you to see bruises along your neck where your hair had moved from when you moved. A wave of anger runs through his body, infuriating him. He did that to you. That’s why you’re so afraid of him.

“Did he-”

“Yes.”

Loki rises from your bed and clenches his fists. You see the anger pouring from him and rush to his side before he can storm off. You grab his arms and force him to look at you.

“Please, don’t… don’t do anything.”

“Why shouldn’t I? No man should ever do that to a woman, especially you.”

“Just let it be.”

He releases his fist but the fury in his eyes doesn't. You pull him towards you to make him sit again. Moving in closer, you lean into him. Loki wraps his arms around you and pulls you into his lap. The two of you lay down in your bed, you curled up on him as he held you, running his fingers in your hair.

For some reason, Loki feels as if he has to protect you. The way you ball up gives him this sense of innocence about you. You haven’t done anything to deserve those injuries, just live your life and try to find love. Loki always knew there was a good reason to hate Midgardians, not just for their stupidity and now he’s found it.

The two of you fall asleep without realizing it. The light from the sun peaking in the windows wakes you. Stirring in bed, you look up to see Loki under you, his arms holding you against him by your waist. You're cradled into his chest as his chin barely rests on the top of your head. Loki’s eyes flutter open at the feeling of you moving on top of him. He looks down at you and smiles.

The way the light shines on your face makes you look angelic. Your smile warms his heart and the warmth of your body against him makes his heart jump. You turn over to face him, leaning up on your shoulders over his head.

“Hi.”

“Hello, darling.”

“You slept here.”

“Both of us did, actually,” he laughs.

You drop your head laughing. Loki’s sweet laugh fills the room and blesses your ears. He’s not too bad to be around. He’s quite kind and sweet.

“Thank you for last night.”

“For what? If I remember correctly, I gave you a panic attack.”

“I mean the way you calmed me down and held me. It was needed.”

“Well, I’m glad I could do that for you.”

Loki means it when he says it. Looking at you now, there’s not much he wouldn’t do for you. You don’t deserve what the world gives you, especially that asshole Y/E/N. He would hold you for the rest of time if that meant keeping you safe.

You won’t lie either when you tell Loki he makes you feel safe. Every day before he sneaks off to his room so the others don’t know he spends the night with you, you tell him that he makes you safe. He never believes you. He’s shocked that anyone could feel safe with a monster like him, but after all to you, Loki is not him.

[sheraphic]

Hey! I loved the insta prompt can u make another one but where the reader is a famous singer? ❤️xx

𝐦𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐥 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭

(𝐟𝐚𝐦𝐨𝐮𝐬!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫)

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ ◦ ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

author's note; hi there anon, sorry for the waiting but here it is your request, hope you like it. Feel free to tell me who you want next, just leave the name or the context you want it to have.

warnings; there can be a few mistakes with the grammar.

◤ REQUESTS ARE OPEN ◥

It would be wonderful If you reblog it, that help me a lot, it inspire me for write more.

// masterlist //

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ ◦ ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Liked by arianagrande, harris_reed, colesprouse and 8,190,644 others

harrystyles Podcast. Nothing else.

View all 60,633 comments

harryfan002 WAIT A DAMN MINUTE

harryfan883 hate when he play the mysterious card

harry_lambert ...

courtneycox Where I can find it?

harryfan340 Don't play with me, Styles. If HS3 is coming i must be prepared

gemmastyles Welcome to this world, are you interested on a collaboration?

harryfan123 can someone call 911? I think I'm having a heart attack

jefeazoff Can I be the next guest?

harryfan081 okay, when harry says is nothing then is everything

madisoncunningham waiting for listen to it

helenepambrun oh boy

harryfan739 and the magician did it again

harryfan661 just recovering from Fine Line and you're telling me that it will be more new music? Are you trying to kill me?

Liked by mileycyrus, shawnmendes, ddlovato and 7,533,982 others

yourinstagram Maths say 1,440 hours of writing are enough

View all 42,621 comments

yourfan931 this mean new music? Please tell me

davendrabenhart maths don't lie

auroramusic i never have enough of your voice

tomholland don't do this to me, hate maths

yourfan832 you just didn't

harrystyles The only science that is exact

⤅harryfan820 yoooo what are you doing here sweetie?

harryfan799 man just give me a minute yo process this information

harryfan682 we learned that everything Harry does is not in vain

phoebebridgers i would stole that book just for be blessed one day

yourfan702 omg you just made my day with your post, i really missed you

yourfan822 get ready, my girlfriend is back

clairo i want that sweater

harryfan892 who else is here bc harry commented?

Liked by yourinstagram, mitchrowland, aliciakeys and 9,632,611 others

harrystyles The trees could hear it too.

View all 63,124 comments

harryfan382 Dear god why am i a human and not that guitar?

annetwist nature always do

harryfan552 the hair, the rings, the fucking legend he is

alexachung The neighborhood is getting a free concert

mitchrowland You need help?

yourinstagram They also whisper if you pay attention

⤅harryfan732 no no no i need help this is not a coincidence

lizzobeeating Lucky trees, wishing to be one and to be planted right next to you

yourfan440 y/n brought me here and i just love this place

yourfan231 now, who is here because of y/n?

stevienicks I can hear it too

harryfan632 these two have the same energy

⤅ yourfan906 ikr I'm loving their interaction

Liked by harrystyles, billieeilish, ladygaga and 8,567,902 others

yourinstagram I did press more than one for special research

View all 39,603 comments

arianagrande want to run my fingers in your hair

⤅yourinstagram dreaming with that

rogerknight I was the research, and i must say that patience is a virttude

⤅kidharpoon my mantra

⤅harryfan800 @kidharpoon omg i can imagine harry being just a pest in the studio

⤅tylersamj not just in the studio

⤅yourfan723 okay but i love y/n and roger's friendship

beaccchhoussse press five at the same time and you will become noise

firstaidkitband this just mean one thing and we are dying for excitement

yourfan339 for sure she have to be a gemini

⤅harryfan720 that explains a lot of things

dollyparton beautiful voice of yours

⤅yourinstagram Miss Parton, will you excuse me for a second? I need to frame this

harryfan223 Harry liking and commenting on her posts, Harry started following her, Harry hanging out with her... People, something big is coming. Save my prediction

hamiltonleithauser for any instance, don't press any of the red ones

selenagomez can't wait!

harryfan802 Is it normal that you start loving her when a couple of days ago you didn't even know who she was?

⤅yourfan672 yes, that's the y/n's effect on people

Liked by yourinstagram, spaceykacey, sza and 12,081,172

harrystyles VHS. OUT NOW. @yourinstagram thank you so much for be part of this.

View all 50,589 comments

yourinstagram thank you for this amazing time, i just learned how to tie my shoelaces in different ways

⤅yourfan781 my little weirdo just living her best life

⤅yourfan903 why do i feel like she and harry became bffs?

⤅yourfan110 put two shy and beautiful creatures together and you will get magic

⤅harryfan672 @yourfan903 bc it's just right

harryfan773 I KNEW IT

sammywitte This is so fucking amazing

harryfan834 HIS HAND HER HAND THEIR HANDS

mollyjane_x Love it, absolutely pure love in this one

⤅harryfan733 wait what does that mean?

harryfan992 Haven't listen it yet and i'd totally fell in love

alessandro_michele ♡♡

harryfan982 first, thank you for this single; second thank you @yourinstagram bc i just find out another incredible singer for my life

harryfan734 I can't believe this man did a whole mv without any of us suspecting

pillowpersonpp Very Harry Styles

⤅harryfan017 NO WAY

⤅harryfan883 Alright but that it's really genious

finneas Amazing song guys!

harryfan783 Neither of us expected collaboration, but we definitely needed it

harryfan723 Can someone tell me how not to ship them? I'm having a hard time here

zachbraff Now is a good year

harryfan339 I've watched this more times that i can count

yourfan170 THIS IS ART

[lovely-ateez]

Vampire Shift~

ꕥPosted: 5/23/21

ꕥGenre: Fluff, Smut, Angst, College!au, Horror!au

ꕥPairing: Fem!Reader x Vampire!Jongho (feat Wooyoung and Minho from skz)

ꕥWord Count: ~5.9k (whoops)

ꕥWarnings: Horror themes, Language, Thigh riding, Unprotected sex, Mentions of blood and blood sucking (please lmk if I missed anything)

ꕥTag List: @cappujinho @bobateastay

ꕥA/N: I hope you all don’t a more spooky concept! Halloween is my favorite holiday and even though its May, it’s always spooky season to me lolol. Also! Feel free to listen to Vampire Shift by All Time Low while reading this (it’s only on YouTube I cry) since this is inspired by the song :)

It was a terrible idea, really, to work the night shift at a gas station alone. Even more so when you’re a young woman whose only defense is the pepper spray on her key chain and 911 on speed dial. Alas, college bills don’t pay themselves and every spare opportunity to get cash was one I had to take.

The digital clock sitting on the counter next to me briefly flashed, indicating another hour had gone by. It was currently four a.m. and it was safe to say I was losing my mind. I’d worked for five hours now, and not a customer had come in. That was the only advantage, really. So long as no one was around my boss let me finish any assignments I had, which came in handy on more than one occasion.

I was only six paragraphs into a five page report and had been staring at my laptop screen for over an hour, feeling beyond brain dead. I was assigned the topic of financial statements and country trade deficits, and wanted to cry every minute I thought about it. I was half convinced to pay someone to write the report for me.

The ringing of a bell indicated a customer opening the door and I closed my laptop to peer around the counter, ready to greet whoever entered. The first man to catch my attention was wearing sunglasses which fazed me, but I tried not to stare. The man that followed had black hair with blond underneath, a combination that I strangely liked. Both men were donned in all back, their faces stoic. They were attractive, I had to admit, but neither were my type.

And then, the last man entered. He looked over to me as he walked through the door, giving me a nod and a slight smile. His slicked back black hair matched his black ripped jeans and highlighted his red leather jacket. He was so handsome he looked like he jumped out of a magazine and I had to suppress a ‘wow’. A string of butterflies fluttered in my stomach and I did my best to ignore them, not even knowing his name.

The three of them wandered through the aisles until I could no longer see them, and I scolded myself for being so thrown off that I forgot say any form of a greeting. I sighed and turned my attention back to my laptop, opening it and blankly staring at the screen. My ears perked when I heard the men’s hushed voices.

“Y’oughta get that girl’s number. I saw the way you looked at her.”

“Yeah, Jongho. She’s pretty cute. If you don’t get her number you know I will.”

“Shut up.” One of the men, Jongho apparently, responded with a laugh, “Let’s just get some snacks, okay? It’s gonna be a long night. Also I’m buying tonight so get whatever.”

A smile crept on my face and I looked down, fiddling with my thumbs.

They think I’m cute. Maybe Jongho’s the one in red?

I heard the bell ring once more and a girl entered who I vaguely remembered from high school. She was popular but for good reason, probably being one of the nicest people I’d ever met. Our circle of friends overlapped slightly so I’d spent a fair amount of time with her. She was smart as a whip and gorgeous all the same, which seemed to stay with her. She looked bright, long red hair falling around her face, freckles still prominent as ever.

We met eyes and she smiled, “Hey y/n!”

I smiled and waved, “Hey Annabelle. How’ve you been? I haven’t seen you in awhile.”

“Good! I got into my dream college and it’s been great, although I’ve had to take some pretty hard classes.” She giggled, walking towards me. It’s honestly not too far from here. You go to Westgate University, right?”

I nodded and I put my laptop aside. She spoke again, genuinely excited for me, “That’s awesome! Congrats!”

“Thanks,” I smiled, “I’m taking it you got into Orholt?”

“I did! I was really-”

One of the men that entered earlier—the one still wearing sunglasses—shouted the redhead’s name and caught her attention, “Hey Anna do you want a Redbull or a Five Hour Energy?”

“Redbull! I’m not a monster.” She laughed.

The man nodded and walked toward us with several drinks and snacks in his hands.

“Oh! I want to introduce you to my boyfriend!” Annabelle turned to the man still wearing sunglasses and reached for his arm, “This is Minho. I met him at Orholt.”

Minho gave me a slight nod as I introduced myself and he placed the food and drinks on the counter. I began to scan the items, the mindless routine that I was used to by now. The loud sound of laughter made me look up, seeing the two other men approach us and place their snacks down as well. I watched them long enough to notice the way two-tone—my new affectionate name for the man with blond and black hair, I decided—shamelessly checked me out, a cocky smile on his face when I caught him. I just let out a small laugh before resuming my task, watching his confused reaction in my peripheral vision.

“Oh my god I totally forgot to introduce you to my friends.” Annabelle giggled and pointed to two-tone, “This is Wooyoung.”

“Hiya, Wooyoung.” I said with a confident smile, enjoying the way he still had a slightly confused look on his face.

“And this,” Annabelle nodded towards the man in red, “This is Jongho. Both him and Wooyoung go to Orholt, too.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Jongho. I’m y/n.”

“Very nice to meet you.” The man smiled before he sent me a wink.

I had never been a particularly shy person, but as he did so my eyes darted down as I felt my face flush. I didn’t notice the gears turning in Annabelle’s head as she put the pieces together.

I placed the final items in the bag, raising my head as Annabelle addressed me,  “You know I’m having a bonfire tomorrow night at my place and you should totally come!”

I stopped to think, first trying to remember if I worked the next day, then wondering if I was willing to go the bonfire when I realized I didn’t have to.

She sensed my hesitancy and her face fell, “Aw do you work tomorrow night? It’s a Saturday!”

“Oh no, I don’t. I...” I stopped to think for a minute. Although I likely didn’t know anyone else who would be there, I was familiar with Annabelle’s house, which brought me a bit of comfort, “Are all of you going?”

Annabelle gave a knowing smile, “Yes. All of us will be here.”

I nodded, accepting the credit card Jongho gave me, quickly after handing them the bags, and returning his card, “I’ll go.”

“Yay! We’ve gotta head out but I’ll send you the details. You’ve still got the same number, right?”

“Yeah I do.”

“Alrighty! I’ll see you tomorrow then!”

Annabelle left with a wave, her boyfriend on her arm and Wooyoung behind her. To my surprise, Jongho didn’t leave with them, the cocky look on his face all but telling me why he stayed.

I looked at him with wide eyes, playing innocent. “Can I help you?”

He placed an arm on the counter, his dark eyes seeming to put me under a spell. The confidence he was radiating was almost palpable and I felt myself being pulled to him. It was intimidating, to be honest.

“You’re really cute and I want your number.”

I let out a surprised laugh, “You really don’t beat around the bush, do you?”

“No, not really,” He propped his other arm on the counter, leaning towards me and raising an eyebrow, “So what do you say, doll?”

A smile crept on my face as I mirrored his actions and leaned towards him, “You gonna memorize my number? Or do you have a phone I can put my number into?”

Jongho’s smile got brighter as he reached to grab his phone, handing it to me. “You’re a firecracker, aren’t you?”

I shrugged, “I’d like to think so.”

When I handed his phone back, our fingers brushed and I could’ve sworn I felt sparks shoot through me at the simple interaction.

“Well I need to head out before the rest of them get too annoyed,” He nodded towards the exit where Annabelle, Minho, and Wooyoung left, “But it was enchanting to meet you, y/n.” He bowed, drawing a laugh from me.

“Ah yes. You as well, absolutely delightful.”

He gave me a smile, “I’ll text you later.”

"Sounds good. I’ll hold you to your word.”

“I’d expect nothing less.” And with that, he was out the door, leaving my heart a fluttering mess.

-

Me [8:37pm] So is there a dress code for tonight?

Annabelle [8:42pm] Nope! Wear whatever you’re comfortable with. I’m wearing this if it helps at all!

Annabelle [8:43pm] 1 Image Attached*

Me [8:45pm] So leather jackets and crop tops?

Annabelle [8:48pm] Haha sure! We can match!

Me [8:51pm] Lol bet. See you at eleven :)

Annabelle [8:51pm] See you then!

I started the process of slipping on a white cropped top followed by my light washed ripped jeans. I knew I was getting ready far earlier than I could have, but something about new events made me anxious and I had to make sure I looked nice. I giggled at the black leather jacket I was throwing over my shoulders, not having worn it since high school. In the middle of debating whether or not I should add another layer of mascara to my lashes, my phone dinged.

New Number [8:59pm] Y/n this better be you. This is Jongho and I’m texting you for a really important reason and I need you to reply quick

Me [9:00pm] Yeah it’s me. What’s going on are you okay??

New Number [9:02pm] I’m gonna go grab some food before I head to Anna’s. You wanna come with?

Me [9:02pm] Oh my god don’t do that to me, you buffoon. You scared me so bad rip

[New Number name changed to A Cute Buffoon]

Me [9:03pm] But sure I’m down lol. Here’s my address btw

Me [9:03pm] 1 Location Shared*

It occurred to me perhaps a bit too late that I was sharing my address with someone that I’d met only once and in a gas station.

I mean, he’s friends with Annabelle so he’s gotta be good right? God I hope so. I thought to myself.

A Cute Buffoon [9:04] Then it’s a date :) I live pretty close so I’ll be over in 10. That work for you?

Me [9:06pm] Fine with me!

A Cute Buffoon [9:06pm] Sounds good. I’ll see you soon ;)

I set down my phone and thanked myself for already doing my makeup. I checked myself out in the mirror, satisfied with my appearance and proud of how well my makeup turned out. I grabbed my bottle of perfume and spritzed the liquid in the air, letting it gradually fall on me so it wouldn’t be too overpowering.

You look beautiful, babe.

The waiting game was harder than I thought, not knowing what to do except awkwardly sit around and play an assortment of phone games. When exactly ten minutes had passed I heard my doorbell ring and I lifted myself from my couch, grinning at his punctuality.

I opened the door to see Jongho holding a bouquet of flowers, a smug look on his face. “Lovely to meet you here, stranger.”

I wanted to make a joke back but I couldn’t seem to think of anything, too surprised by the flowers in his hands. It wasn’t anything extravagant, the small bouquet of violets, but I felt my heart swell.

It’s perfect. He’s perfect.

My voice was small when I spoke, “No one’s ever given me flowers before.”

His eyebrows furrowed as a confused look painted his face, “Really?”

I nodded, taking the flowers from his outreached hands and smelling their sweet fragrance, “They’re beautiful.”

My eyes flickered to his, the tender look on his face making me feel as if I was melting on the spot, “You’re beautiful.”

I squealed, my face undoubtedly turning pink while my mind short circuited. I’d never become so shy around someone before and the only thing I could think of to say in response was another ‘thank you’ followed by ‘I’ll go get a vase for these.’

I opened my door further, rummaging through my cabinets for a vase when I noticed Jongho was still standing by the door, “You can come in, you know? That’s why I opened the door.”

He laughed nervously, “Sorry about that. Force of habit, I guess.”

I raised my eyebrows in a teasing manner, “What? Are you a vampire? Can you only come in if someone invites you?”

I thought I saw a flicker of shock on his face for a moment, but it was gone before I could register it and I shrugged it off, my eyes finding the perfect vase for the flowers.

“It’s just how I was raised.”

“I get that.” I placed the flowers in the vase, giving them a bit of water before walking up to Jongho and gently patting his cheek, “Your good manners are appreciated.”

He laughed in surprise, full gummy smile on display as he playfully swatted my hand away from his face, “Alright, alright. Let’s head out already.”

I made a sound of agreement before noticing a slight pink on his ears. I was temped to tease him, but ultimately decided to save it for later. If I could fluster him once I knew I could do it again.

-

The diner we went to was one I’d never heard of before, let alone been to, and I was beyond frustrated that I didn’t even know about it’s existence. It was an adorable fifties style diner and even the attire the waiters were wearing fit the theme.

“This is the cutest place to ever exist, I’m convinced.” I said as we sat down on the same side of a bright red booth.

“I really hoped you would like it. This is my favorite restaurant ever and they have fantastic milkshakes. If you’d like to share one for desert, I’m all for it.” A wink.

I bit my lip and hid my face in the menu that was placed in front of us, thankful for any method of escape.

“You’re so cute.”

“Ahh no don’t say things like that.” I giggled from behind the menu.

His hand grabbed the top of the menu, pulling it down so he could see me, “Why’s that?”

“Because you make me nervous. Like a good nervous!” I tried to explain, which only resulted in becoming even more embarrassed, “I-I mean I’m excited to be around you but I’m also nervous. I hope that doesn’t sound weird.” I cringed at myself. Never in my life did I think I’d be blushing and stuttering over some man, but my god did he prove me wrong.

“Not at all,” he reached over to take my hand in his, “because I feel it, too.”

Before I could properly react our waitress came over, taking our order and effectively saving me from becoming a human tomato.

We handed our menus back to her after ordering and she looked at us with a soft smile, “You two make a cute couple.”

While I was a bit too stunned to say anything, Jongho didn’t seem to have the same problem and went along with it, “Thank you, ma’am. That’s kind of you to say.”

When she left, Jongho leaned closer to me, “I hope I didn’t make you uncomfortable by saying that we we’re a couple. I thought that-”

“No, I didn’t mind it!” I bit my tongue after likely saying that way too fast with far too much enthusiasm, but I meant it, “I didn’t mind it,” I said again, softer this time.

The tips of his ears once again turned a faint shade of pink, “Good to know.”

The food was as wonderful as it possibly could’ve been, their fries alone being one of the best things I’d ever consumed. Just as Jongho suggested, we shared a milkshake, which led to shy eye contact and laughter and my crush becoming stronger by the minute.

Just as Jongho paid and we were about to leave, a certain song began to play and he looked at me with an air of mischief, holding out his hand to me, “Dance with me.”

I took his hand, trying to hide my smile but failing. He led me away from the table and next to the jukebox. The area surrounding it was more open, probably with the intention for people to dance near it. He grabbed my waist, holding the hand of mine that wasn’t placed on his chest and looking at me in a way that could make any woman fall in love on the spot. We swayed to the music and I couldn’t help but feel full. Like I’d found all that I’d ever need.

Put your head on my shoulder~

“Do you know this song?” He asked with a smile.

I scoffed, “Of course I do! It’s one of my favorites.”

“It’s one of mine, too.”

Hold me in your arms, baby~

I mouthed along to the words as I felt the need to prove it to him. As if to one up me, Jongho began to sing along, his gorgeous voice amazing me.

Squeeze me oh so tight, show me~

That you love me, too~

I blushed as he looked at me while singing along, becoming a bit flustered himself when the lyrics clicked with him.

Put your lips next to mine dear~

Won’t you kiss me once, baby~

As if we were in sync our eyes darted to the other’s lips at the same time. I could feel Jongho’s breathing becoming heavier before he said in a hushed tone, “Can I kiss you?”

“Please.” Was all I could respond before I pressed my lips to his, fireworks igniting inside me when he kissed me back. His lips were so soft and warm and as crazy as it sounded, he felt like home. I felt him smile against my lips as the music continued to play.

Maybe you and I will fall in love~

-

The fire was loud, crackling and lighting up the faces of all those crowded those around it. It was essentially the only source of light in the dark of the night, except for the distant lights still on in Annabelle’s house. My hands were interlocked with Jongho’s as we sat around it’s warmth, both of us finding it hard to separate from one another.

Conversation was flowing all around us, and I was relieved to find that everyone I had talked to was kind and welcoming. I was more nervous than I realized, but having Jongho next to my side alone calmed me. Someone around the fire mentioned an old story involving Annabelle and I began to wonder where she was, having not seen her since Jongho and I first arrived. I mentioned I was going to look for her and he nodded, at first wanting to join me but then getting pulled into conversation with one of his former classmates. I told him I’d head off on my own and he nodded again.

I looked around what seemed to be the entire property and still there was no sight of her. At that moment I heard yelling coming from her house, startling me. I felt my blood run cold when I recognized one of the voices as Annabelle’s. The yelling didn’t sound like it was out of fear, but instead more aggressive, out of pure anger. Without thinking I ran inside, hoping to calm the situation but instead found what seemed to be out of a work of fiction.

An unfamiliar man was on the ground, obviously trying to get away from a hidden figure before him that seemed to be cloaked in darkness. He let out a sound that I’d never heard a human make, one that I couldn’t even compare to something I’d heard before, and a shiver ran down my back. As the figure took a step forward I recognized it as Annabelle, or what seemed to be some version of her. Her normally grey eyes were now bright red, sharp fangs on display as she snarled at the man. A group of people were surrounding them, alarmed looks on their faces but hardly trying to intervene.

“What the hell?” I whispered, my eyes wide as I tried to back away without anyone noticing. But of course, I just had to step on an empty soda can, all eyes pointing my way. As I looked at the people around me, their expressions seemed to mirror mine and I swallowed, suddenly feeling immensely claustrophobic.

I met eyes with Annabelle and she seemed to change in a flash, her eyes returning to their former color and fangs disappearing. She looked more panicked than I had ever seen her which only scared me more. She was always able to keep her stressors under control, but as she stared back at me, I saw a version of her I never had before.

I was barely able to form a sentence, adrenaline coursing through me at a rampant rate, “Um...” 

Annabelle slowly walked towards me, “Oh—hey! Sorry I disappeared for a while but how’s the party going? Are you having fun?” Panic was still evident in her voice but I knew she was trying to keep a hold of the situation.

“I...I don’t-”

A stern voice came from left, and I nervously turned to meet Jongho, an unreadable expression crossing his face, “Y/n.”

“Yeah?” My voice squeaked as I began to regret agreeing to come along in the first place, still hyper aware of all the eyes on me.

“Come with me.”

His eyes softened at my panicked state and he held out a hand, “Please?”

I was hesitant, but being anywhere away from the crowd and whatever Annabelle turned into seemed to be a good idea. I took his hand and watched as he exchanged a look with Annabelle that seemed to calm her. Turning on his heels he led me back to the bonfire, sitting in a chair and motioning for me to do the same. Seeing no one around us gave me a feeling of both anxiety and comfort, and I wasn’t quite sure which feeling was winning at the moment.

“Well I’m sure you have plenty of questions.” He started, “I won’t lie to you and try to convince you what you saw wasn’t real, because it was, but I need you to know that no one is going to harm you. That guy is Anna’s roommate and they get into an argument at least once a week. Sometimes it can be nasty, but they never get physical and neither would ever hurt anyone unprovoked. No one here would.”

I was silent for a few minutes, trying to process what I saw on top of the time bomb of information he dropped on me. “Is she...is everyone....are you a vampire?” I whispered the last words, almost too stunned and afraid to say out loud.

He smiled slightly, his kind eyes making me feel safe. “Yes. We’re what you’d call vampires.”

I took a breath, almost afraid to hear the answer to my question, “Am I in any danger by being here?”

“No, everyone here is good. They don’t pose any threat. There are plenty of dangerous vampires but we stay away from them. Besides,” He placed an arm around my waist, playfulness in his eyes, “If there were, I’d protect you from them.”

“Oh? And how don’t I know you’re not dangerous?”

He leaned closer to me, clearly enjoying this, “You don’t, I suppose. Doesn’t that make it fun?”

“That’s very much debatable,” I smiled for a moment before a frown took over, “Everyone just seemed really...I don’t know, startled I guess?”

Jongho let out a loud sigh, looking down at the ground for a few seconds before looking back up at me, “Humans aren’t normally invited to these parties. It’s assumed that everyone here is a vampire. The perfume that you’re wearing, whatever the hell it is, is masking your scent. If I didn’t meet you before today I wouldn’t have known you were human. I guess Anna didn’t tell everyone, either.” He placed a hand on my knee and looked at me with kind eyes, “How are you feeling?”

“Surprisingly calm considering that I just learned vampires exist.”

Jongho laughed, “Yeah I’d say you’re taking it pretty well. Like I said earlier though, I’m sure you’ve got plenty of questions, so fire away.”

“Yeah I have a few.” I hesitated, hoping he wouldn’t be offended by my question, “Exactly how old are you?”

“Oh are you gonna age shame me?”

“No but it’s probably an important thing to know...since we kissed and all.”

He laughed again and leaned back in his chair, placing his arms behind his head,  “How old do you think I am?”

I used his question as an excuse for my eyes to wander over his body. He was beyond attractive, very clearly fit and he knew it, which equal parts pissed me off and turned me on. As hard as I tried, I kept finding myself being pulled to his thighs. Even through his jeans I could tell he had strong thighs and I had to press my fingernails into my palm to keep from drooling. “From your appearance? Early twenties. From what age fiction usually tells us vampires are? I’d guess you’re a hundred and three.”

Jongho nodded with a smile, “I’m not quite that old but that’s a fair guess. You had it right the first time. I’m a pure born and we actually age, but we don’t age as quickly as humans. I’m twenty.”

“Pure born?”

“It means both of my parents are vampires.”

I nodded as another question came to mind, a smile on my lips. “Do you sparkle in the daylight?”

“Oh my god,” He covered his face with his hands, a mixture of a groan and a laugh escaping his mouth, “No, we do not sparkle in daylight, “His hands came to rest on his knees, “But it sucks that we really shouldn’t be in direct sunlight for over two hours a day. That’s normally the rule to go by. It’ll burn us if we’re in it for much longer than that.”

“So do werewolves and witches and everything like that exist, too?”

“Yeah pretty much. We don’t all get along, but we have to coexist. It’s something we’ve struggled with for a while, unfortunately. Basically everything you’d believe to be supernatural exists.”

I was silent for a while, not really knowing what else to say.

“Y/n? Are you doing okay? If you’re not comfortable being here I can drive you home right now or if you’d rather be alone I can call an Uber or—”

My heart skipped a beat at his kindness. “No, I’m okay. I guess I’m just surprised I’m learning about this just now.”

“We do a good job of hiding it. Also it was probably a given, but keep this as a secret if you can. Having a lot of people know about our existence can be risky.”

I gave him a silent nod, unintentionally leaning closer to him. The sound of approaching footsteps made me jump into Jongho’s arms. I didn’t know why I found comfort in him, knowing that he could be dangerous as well, but he’d been nothing but sweet to me. I had no reason to fear him.

Annabelle approached us but stopped, taking a few steps back when she saw how I was buried in Jongho’s arms.

“Hey y/n.” She rubbed her arm, looking down as if she’d done something wrong.

“I guess Jongho probably told you everything at this point. I’m really sorry if I scared you and I understand if you don’t want to be friends anymore.” Even in the dark I could see tears beginning to stream down her cheeks and I felt a pain in my chest.

I got up from Jongho’s hold and wrapped my arms around her, feeling her stiffen, “I trust you, Annabelle.”

Those four words seemed to relax her and she returned my hug, still sniffling, “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. We aren’t supposed to tell anyone and I thought you might hate me—”

I pulled back, “Why the hell would I hate you? You’re still you.”

She laughed through tears, gripping me tighter, thanking me over and over for not pushing her away.

We’re gonna be okay. It’s all gonna be okay.

-

Not too long after, Jongho drove me home. The ride was more silent than when we were headed to Annabelle’s house, but the air wasn’t heavy or uncomfortable. Feeling tired, I laid my head on Jongho’s shoulder, faintly hearing ‘sleep well, baby’ before drifting asleep.

When I woke, I was in my bed. I reached for my phone on the bedside table and found a little note placed next to it that read:

I hope you don’t mind that I carried you inside. I tried to wake you for like five minutes but you were out cold. Anyways, I had a really good time with you yesterday and I hope you had fun too :) Text me when you wake so I know you’re okay. -J

I looked at my clock and saw that it was still early, but I texted Jongho anyway.

Me [3:00am] Not sure if you’re still up, but I really enjoyed yesterday, too. I’m exhausted so I’m gonna go back to sleep but I just wanted to say I’m okay and everything is good :))

A Cute Buffoon [3:00am] Sleep well, darling. We can talk in the morning

-

It had been roughly a month since Jongho and I started dating, and while I felt like I knew him pretty well, we had only known each other a little over a month, on top of the fact that he was a vampire which was essentially an entire separate culture. I’d asked him most questions I had early throughout our relationship, but one in particular kept replaying in my mind.

We were currently sitting on the couch in my apartment, cuddling each other. The TV was on but neither of us were really watching it. I was far more interested in the warm body in front of me, and based off of how Jongho was looking at me, the feeling was mutual.

I bit my lip, anxiously mulling over the question I’d wanted to ask him for weeks. I didn’t know how he would take it, let alone how I would bring it up, but I needed to ask at some point. Knowing he could probably sense my nerves, I gave in. “Jongho, can a human turn into a vampire?”

He hummed, turning to face me. “Why do you ask?”

“I just...I didn’t know if it could happen or not.”

Jongho chuckled, “Yeah it’s possible. It’s a long ass process to go through though, and there’s a lot that can go wrong, so it rarely happens.”

I shifted in my seat, trying not to appear overly interested. “Why is that? What can go wrong?

He smiled and raised a brow, his cocky persona resurfacing, “You sound so eager to know, dear. Do you want to become a vampire?” His eyes briefly flickered towards my lips before he tilted his head, dragging his soft lips across my neck. I let out a gasp when I felt the tips of his teeth lightly scraping the skin, “Or maybe you’re just looking for an excuse for me to put my mouth on you?”

Like with anything that exuded him, I felt myself becoming quickly overwhelmed, my mind now hazy and distant. I shut my eyes in an attempt to gain some semblance of control over myself.

“Your thoughts are swirling, doll.” Jongho began leaving gentle kisses along the side of my jaw, “Don’t think too much. Just let me take care of you. Okay?”

“Okay.” I said through a short breath, knowing we’d just have to have the conversation another time.

We’d had sex before, so it wasn’t like this was new territory for us, but every time felt like the first, leaving me just as out of breath each time.

He lifted me and placed me on his thigh, dragging me across his flexed muscles. I felt my eyes roll back at the simple motion, my need growing at an embarrassing rate. I grabbed his shoulders as I began to drag myself against him, whines and whimpers spilling from my lips.

“God you’re hot,” Jongho said through hot breaths, beginning to kiss my neck, no doubt leaving marks.

“Thanks I try.” I managed to say, pleased when Jongho laughed.

“You don’t even have to, and it’s completely unfair.” His hands moved under my shirt and danced along my skin, “It’s like you’re an angel come to life.”

I let out a loud moan, feeling tears well in my eyes from his praise, “You always make me feel so beautiful when I’m with you.”

Jongho responded with a smile, carrying me to my bedroom and laying me down on the bed while hurriedly discarding both of our clothes.

“You’re always so eager, babe.”

He nuzzled my neck as he climbed on top of me, his hands finding my own and holding them, “As if you’re not.”

“I never said I wasn’t.”

He then moved in between my thighs, teasing me with his fingers as he ran them along my wet slit, occasionally rubbing my clit, drawing small whines from me.

“Jongho please just fuck me already.”

“Sweetheart, do you even think you’re wet enough for me?” He cooed.

Feeling frustrated, I pushed my fingers inside myself with ease, pulling them out and spreading them so he could see my essence dripping down my fingers, “I don’t know you tell me.” I said with far more sass than I intended.

Jongho’s eyes widened at the sight and wasted no time positioning his cock at my entrance, pushing in and letting out the most beautiful groans.

Neither of us ever bothered to use protection because, to put it simply, vampires couldn’t get humans pregnant. It was only possible when both partners were vampires, and we took full advantage of that.

“Fuck—baby you feel amazing. You’re so warm and tight ohmygod.” Jongho moaned as he began to move, thrusting in and out of me at a steady pace.

I clenched around him, loving when he was vocal. His sounds helped get me off just as much as his actions, at times it seemed.

“You feel...really good...too.” I said through heavy breaths. And as much as I wanted to last longer in bed, with Jongho, I never could.

“I don’t know if it’s because you’re a vampire and you’ve got like magic powers or something or maybe you’re just a sex god—but holy shit...I’m close.”

He threw back his head and had the audacity to laugh, something I really couldn’t stay mad at with how good he was making me feel. “Babe it’s been like six minutes.”

“Don’t be an asshole.” I joked, my laugh turning into a moan. It only spurred Jongho on, making him angle one of my legs up higher, hitting deeper inside of me.

“I know you’re close, baby. I can feel it. Cum for me, baby girl. Let go for me.”

He reached down to tease my sensitive nub, drawing quick circles until I was seeing stars, chanting his name like a prayer.

After Jongho came down from his high, he disappeared into the bathroom as he always did, coming back with a warm towel. As he pressed the towel to my thighs I tried to ask again.

“So...about the human to vampire thing?”

“Well,” Jongho sighed, “I didn’t think I’d be able to distract you forever.” He smiled, “It’s mostly done because couples want to stay together. The thing is though, the vampire obviously gets a taste of the human’s blood and it can be hard to stop once you’ve marked them, especially since smell is such a big allure for us.”

He took a long breath, “Then the human will almost always pass out, and needs to be taken care of for the next couple days because they’ll be so weak. Another problem is that the scent of their blood will be amplified during those days and it’ll be harder for the vampire to not, you know...” He looked away, not able to say the words. I knew what he meant, we both did. In some cases, vampires would kill their human partners for of their blood. Sometimes it was beyond their control. Just a primal need that would betray them. “Then their scent is more easily detected by other vampires and the whole thing is just kinda a mess. I think I’ve only heard of five attempts and only one of them was successful.”

I nodded, not really knowing what to say.

“And then on top of it all, it can be harder for the human to adjust and it can put a lot of pressure on the relationship. Human and vampire relationships are dangerous.”

His face was serious as he ran a hand through my hair. I looked up at him and leaned into his touch.

He cleared his throat and averted his eyes, a shy behavior I hadn’t seen from him before, “I guess it’s important for you to decide then.” His eyes met mine again, “Is this still something you want to continue?”

“Our relationship?”

“Yeah.”

“Of course, are you crazy? You mean the world to me.” I swallowed, realizing he hadn’t voiced his own thoughts, “What about you? Do you want this?”

“I think you have a pretty good idea of what I want.” He smiled and pressed a quick kiss to my forehead, his eyes sparkling.

“Hey Jongho?”

He hummed, looking at me.

“I want to spend forever with you.”