#I did not make that choice

[thelibrarian1895]

How many copies of the same book?

Well obviously I need a basic paperback version, great for annotation, and good for general comfort when reading my favorite to curl up with accompanied by fluffy blanket, snacks, and appropriate drink.

And I'll need a second copy of the paperback, also paperback, so I can lend it to a friend while still having my own copy and worry less about when they return it. Also as a decoy for when someone tries to take my book to stop me from reading so I "participate with society".

Society is overrated, books are better.

Yes I need the hardback copy as well because the cover is pretty and I have room on my shelves and it's like a trophy of the ones I've finished. Also useful to defend the library/hoard.

And yes I need a digital version, have you seen my pockets? Babies have larger pockets on their little clothes. I need the digital copy because what if I left my paperback at home? Digital can be easier to transport and fewer people bug me about the book while I'm reading it on my phone. My phone also has an easy to access dictionary available in case I come across a word I don't recognize and internet access for when I want to know the history behind a particular piece of slang or phrasing that isn't from a familiar culture.

And yes I need the audiobook because sometimes I'm commuting or otherwise driving for lengths of time and I don't want to listen to the radio and I had to stop reading with my eyes because I have to watch the road but I was at a cliffhanger and I need to know what happens next! And yes, I may have read it half a dozen times, so what?

I am a different person every time I read a book again, sometimes only a little different, sometimes very different, sometimes more tired, sometimes a tiny bit wiser, maybe sometimes a bit brain dead, sometimes kinder, sometimes more jaded, and so my understanding of and perception of every book I read and re-read changes every time. Sometimes I need my old paperback and the memories it evokes through little notes in the margins or the way one page was dog eared by my sib who borrowed it without asking. Sometimes I want my more formal hardcopy and the newer ideas it might inspire. Sometimes I just want to listen to beautiful words being woven into a grand illusion.

Always I want to read and to try to learn or simply enjoy the words of those who were gracious enough to share the gift of their stories with the world.

So about five copies of the same book is entirely reasonable.

[overseer-picard]

TNG text posts part 5 feat. DS9 era O'Brien

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

Plain-text version:

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[xmascritter]

Many gravity falls fans, circa 2016: OH MY GOD WHY DID MABEL HAND OVER THE RIFT. SHE'S SO DUMB, SHE'S THE WORST, WHY WOULD SHE EVEN DO THAT?! MABEL'S NOT A GOOD PERSON!

Alex Hirsch, circa 2024: **deep inhale**

SHE'S A CHILD OF IMPENDING DIVORCE AND IS GONNA HAVE TO GO BACK TO THAT

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Not beating the allegations.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[lucabyte]

On autonomy, and what it means to be Obliged to Help.

Bonus:

[keferon]

Did you think I was done? Ahahahaha no, I have more.

Because chapter 70 of MOMU gave me the very dynamic between them that I missed so much, I just blacked out and started drawing uncontrollably lmao

Also. ALSO. I noticed a while ago that Prowl has the habit of..like…constantly frowning. So. I did a bit of research and made this graph.

In 70 chapters, Prowl frowns rougly 104 times. And the intensity of this gesture is very clearly correlated with the development of his relationship with Jazz, as you can see ahahahahah It might be wrong tho don’t take me seriously I’m not good with graphs

[platoapproved]

I was fully dressed for the cold winter night in less than a few minutes. [Marius] put a black cape over my shoulders, and gave me gloves trimmed in miniver, and put a black velvet cap on my head. The shoes he chose were black leather boots, which he never wanted me to wear before. To him the ankles of the boys were beautiful, and he did not favor boots, though he did not mind if we wore them by day when he could not see. - THE VAMPIRE ARMAND

[suntails]

GAME START

[stellaclaw]

boiling hot take but i literally dont give a fuck that mapleshade let the clan believe her kits were birchfaces. her clanmates can be mad but exiling a queen and her kits is fucking deranged i dont care what lie she told. “she deserved what she got” her kids deserved to die because their mom fibbed??😭 her kids deserved to die because their mom did crimes LATER???😭😭 “um but she chose to cross the river” if i was orpheus i would simply not turn around.

[otaku553]

New blorbo :)

Also a silly interaction with this piece

[lygma-nygma]

Being a batfam fan is funny because people will make a post like “here’s my headcanon-“ and it’s just something that’s directly canon to the story then post about major canon events and get everything wrong.

[peach-sea]

Cringetober Day 1. Screenshot Redraw

inspired by this early eah scene where raven "lets her bad side out" playing guitar and my cousin and I go "apple's probably losing it" and then they cut to her and she's making this face ↓

[peanuttoffee]

Fallen Order Cal is a cinnamon bun and has a precious place in my heart forever

but Jedi Survivor Cal...

thanks for the reference to the dearest @flammabel!

[egophiliac]

the lovers, reversed

(aka I'm still freaking out about Jou)

[rocklnds]

it's all fun and games until the cowboy is scared of a little kitty cat [OUTER RANGE SEASON TWO ✵ EPISODE ONE]