wombpala

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our spiritually elevated rejection of canon vs their intellectually dishonest refusal to engage with the text

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i just know that after sam left for stanford dean and john were THE most pathetic men in existence

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No, I wish, but… We don’t see things the same way anymore - our roles in this whole thing. Back in that church, talking me out of boarding up hell? Or tricking me into letting Gadreel possess me? I can’t trust you - not the way I thought I could, not the way I should be able to.

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booty shorts that say "dad's dead, and he left a hole, and it hurts so bad you can't take it. but you can't just fill up that hole with whoever you want to."

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Lori and Taylor ◦ 1×07 ◦ Hook Man

[ID: Eight gifs of Lori Sorenson and her roommate Taylor from Supernatural season 1 episode 7 Hook Man]

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i really am obsessed with how jensen chose to play dean being confronted by sam about making the deal because it’s just like. not really what you’d expect. you’d expect him to be ashamed or else you’d expect him to be sort of resentful or defensive (and he does get there a little later) but right in the moment when sam says “did you sell your soul for me? tell me the truth,” and dean looks down and shakes his head and can’t make eye contact, the expression on his face is acutely embarrassed. he’s being confronted head on with the insane codependency and selfishness and desperation that drove him to make the deal. and it’s not like he didn’t know that’s how he felt. he knew, but it was a way down deep knowing and he could get by without dwelling on it too much. but now someone else knows and is holding up a mirror to his face and forcing him to look at himself, rationalize a decision that is in no way rational in anyone’s world but his. and to dean that is just utterly humiliating.

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yellow eyed sam, you will always be famous

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"Don't worry, Sammy! As long as I'm around, nothing bad is gonna happen to you."

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he is the person they save and the thing they hunt at the same time btw if you even care. the monster is the harbinger of the category crisis btw if you even care at all

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S2 'how certain are you that what you brought back is 100% pure sam?' versus s6 'but Dean, there's a worst-case scenario. maybe it's just Sam' is what it's all about to me like that's the fundamental tension of a possession narrative. is the horror truly external. the construction of your identity as some pure innocent unsullied lamb being protected from that transgressive violating stranger Outside wanting In and you're like no I will never open the door to this but then you start to wonder if the origin point of the horror they've been protecting you from is already Inside. and maybe always has been and maybe the stranger who took your face is realer than you ever were and the ppl you love look into your eyes and don't recognize you.

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Please talk more about Soulless Sam. I LOVE how you think about him.

THANK YOU FOR GIVING ME AN EXCUSE.

ok so to preface I think in spn there is always an invisible scoreboard on the corner of the screen that keeps track of who is the coolest guy with the biggest dick in the room and I think that Dean can see this scoreboard and is excruciatingly aware of his position on it every single second of his life and that's why he Acts Like That. and generally Sam is only aware of this scoreboard as like a vague distant sword of damocles hanging over him and making him sweat. so usually Dean in winning (with some notable suggestions). he has sparkle he has flair he understands his own genre and he knows how to play to the camera, always. Sam doesn't.

but then in s6 Dean has lost points and is on a significantly lower rung of the cool guy ladder on account of things like being in a relationship and golfing. already quite vulnerable, narratively. and Soulless Sam just breaks the game. bc he's operating on the hardware that Dean and John instilled in him, he's a Hunter, he working with the Campbells aka supporting his Family (which is the most important thing obviously), he's a sex God incapable of emotional intimacy (male power fantasy), it's a startling power switch bc Dean just cannot be the boss here. Sam wins by not playing. In the first ep when they're reunited and Sam's like dude. were you racing me...? who has the bigger car who has the bigger dick.

there are so many amazing convos they have that season that Sam wins by just refusing to obfuscate. ex. Dean: I don't wanna give the baby to the Campbells bc I don't trust them 😡 sam: so ur saying you don't trust...our family...of hunters.

OWNED. and then how after Dean finds out he immediately casts himself as Sam's externalized conscience/teacher to try to regain some semblance of control over Other Sam.

this is so awesome . Dean's insistence that he is 'driving the bus', deciding oh Sam has forgotten how to be Sam well I will teach him how to pretend until he can be Sam again. right after this he calls Sam a puppet. Dean is his puppeteer, Dean is teaching him how to care. and Sam really does try to imitate Dean's humanity during these eps where they have this fragile truce. like, he's a good student. he's asking questions. 'so you're saying suffering... is good?' 'I'm saying it's the only game in town.' <- 1 of my fav slices of dialogue from them ever!!! I love soulless sam bc he cuts through all Dean's fluff and bravado, and bc he's a perfect reflection of the ideals of masculinity (- the charisma and pure hearted knight of the realm vibe). genuine confusion at the flowery circles that dean talks in, (I thought you wanted me to be honest!), the way dean never says exactly what he means, soulless sam strips dean of pretense just by existing, next to him all dean’s bravado and soaring bombastic overtures fall flat and sad. soulless Sam demystifies.

also I do find it so funny and interesting how Dean telling Sam he can't fuck patchouli girl while Dean is kidnapped is ultimately what makes Sam decide he's not into the whole soul thing. like ok Dean is like you can't be fucking patchouli girl bc you're supposed to be worrying abt me and Sam str8 up asks him ok sensei are you saying that soul= suffering, which is good, and Dean is like well kind of yes, and Sam is like. Oh. Well that sounds like maybe it sucks.

like if everyone was telling you we hate you the way you are so we're gonna put some horrible dirty abused thing inside you, this immaterial substance that contains the memory of your century long rape, and that will make you good again. wouldn't you be like wtf no don't do that. The language they use around returning Sam's soul is violent. In caged heat (or as I like to call it the episode that is most explicitly abt rape in a season that is already full of sexual assault) Cas describes it as "forcing that mutilated thing down his gullet"

trying to kill Bobby isn't the action of a robot or a callous hyper-practical Dexter. Sam believes he is fighting for the right to exist. but he's monstrous and he breaks the rules of the story so obviously he's got to go. and cutting off monstrous pieces of himself/ being cut up into little archetypal categories is like Sam's whole deal so soulless sam is just that theme reiterated and writ large. Sam gothic double/changelingism is a whole other post and this is getting long but suffice to say that 1 thing about Sam is that there is 2 of him.

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season 1 john

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3.08 / 1.10 / 1.22 “Don't say that.”

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 I don't understand how a guy like this can turn into that monster. Um ... Spirits like Greeley are, uh ... like wounded animals. Lost. In so much pain that ... they lash out.

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it's GAY. to be PSYCHIC.

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2x21 All Hell Breaks Loose

DVD commentary:

Sera Gamble: I really I love the scene. I love that we gave dean a vision because there's like a sub text too--I mean, it's not even really subtext--he does everything but say, "I'm not a ffff-freaking freak," when he's accused of potentially being- so his prejudice against um—

Robert Singer: I actually think you wrote that Sera, “I'm not, l'm not, I'm not a freaking psychic,” and Eric and i talked about it, i think it was me that said, you know, that's being a little rough on his brother, so actually this idea of that he doesn't quite get it out...

Sera Gamble: But he thinks that.

Robert Singer: He thinks it and you can see that.