#I did like how often she hit him with cars tho that was funny

[bonemeal12]

I love watching bad movies cause then nobody gets mad at me when I talk the whole time and repeat every noise/phrase I find funny and yell about the plot holes and the subtitling mistakes.

[haysprite]

can we hear some of your headcanons about frank :)

OMG YES !!! I feel like my interpretation of him is like really different than other people's, but its finnnneee :o) Also there's a lot so brace yourself 👍 I also wanted to focus more on just him this time around since I've already done a HC dump about him and Julie !

• AuDHD also go brrr (I’ll be real I’ve hit all four of em with this lmfao)

• Has a really high pain tolerance! He could break a bone or somethin and literally try to walk it off despite the other’s protests. 

• ON THE OTHER HAND THO, he is PATHETIC when it comes to getting sick (which isn’t often, but that means it hits him HARD when he does). Talk about man colds fr 🙏 The other three tend to make fun of him for this, but Julie still takes care of him cause she finds it a bit funny and wants to help her silly bf out.

• Absolutely loves being the center of attention, so he defo tries to impress anyone around him

• He really did enjoy playing basketball and being on Fairview’s team! He didn’t really get along with most of his team, but he was pretty good at the sport and being on the court was sometimes freeing for him. Was also a p good excuse to stay away from home.

• Dropped out of school early into his senior year, punching that referee was simply his final straw

• During the car ride to Ormond, he defo tried to run away while Clive was stopped to get some gas, but got caught pretty quickly. Frank may be strong, but Clive was stronger, and managed to force him back into the car. The rest of the ride was pretty silent after this

• Absolutely loves hoodies and jackets, and is rarely seen without one (whether he’s wearing it or just has it on hand). They’re just comfy, what can I say

• Loves the thrill of fights, which he gets into a bit more often than he probably should. Also tends to be the one to throw the first punch.

• He is NOT a morning person whatsoever. It takes him forever to finally drag his ass out of bed. He’s more of a night person, both for the peacefulness and because there’s more potential to cause some mayhem without getting caught.

• Though he’s the leader of the Legion, most of the plans and ideas come from Julie and Joey, since they actually like to think plans through unlike Frank, who will jump straight into something without giving it a second thought. He’s got zero impulse control lets be fr

• Hates the quiet, he either has to have music playing or be talking to somebody or else he just feels uncomfortable

• Has quite a few tattoos, though the only one ever really visible is the one on his neck. Got his first tattoo at 15 and loved the rush he got from getting one. I feel like he got his neck tattoo right before being dragged to Ormond at (roughly) 17. He had to be sneaky about getting them, ofc, but he’s always been pretty good at faking IDs and lying about his age (hence why he’s able to get his hands on alcohol n shit p easily).

• He’s a bit of a flirt, having a pretty charming nature to him, which he defo uses to his advantage when he needs to get out of sticky situations

• Not trusted behind the steering wheel, so Julie or Joey are always the ones to drive everyone places, which he’s a bit annoyed by, but he got over it eventually

• Has a lil collection of random trinkets he’s saved throughout his life, like things he’s stolen from every foster home he’s been through, random shit he’s found on the ground, gifts given to him by his friends, etc

• Whenever he was relocated, he would ALWAYS research as much as he possibly could about where he was being sentenced to. He found the history behind certain places really interesting, especially if there were any murders or creepy shit involved, and it also helped him plan out ways to get out of there as quickly as possible.

• Absolutely hates Clive with the PASSION. He did nothing but ignore Frank, no matter how hard he tried to get his attention. Frank picked a lot of verbal fights with him, some of them almost escalating into something physical, but Clive wasn’t afraid to fight back and stopped each fight pretty quickly.

• Got kicked out about half a year after turning 18, but he didn’t really care since he basically lived at the lodge anyway. Just meant he was finally free from living with Clive permanently

• He has a funny older brother / younger sister relationship with Susie. They’ll do shit like yelling at each other from across the lodge about what kind of pizza they should get, or walking into the room the other is in only to stand there silently before turning off the lights and BOOKING it. They annoy each other a lot, but they do it out of love (platonic obv) lmfao

• He and Joey do stupid shit like wrestling, arm wrestling, or straight up fights to see who’s stronger. Despite Frank being the one to initiate most of these, Joey wins a good 90% of the time unless he’s really caught off guard.

• Would do literally anything for Julie <3 He is so pathetically in love with her. I feel like Susie bugged him a lot about this before he and Julie started dating, calling him out whenever she caught him staring at Julie for too long or just teasing him about it

• Is REALLY bad at comforting his friends when they’re feelin down, but he tries his best 👍 It’s either him threatening to kick the ass of whoever made them upset, or just being silent and letting them vent cause he doesn’t really know how to respond

• Got super excited when he found out Julie also loved slasher films and learning about serial killers, and was really happy about finally having someone to talk about this shit with. They have movie nights a lot where they watch stupid slasher films for sure !

• It takes a lot to calm him down when he’s angry. Though his friends are sometimes able to help, most of the time they have to leave him be and let him punch or break some shit to release his anger.

• He always feels really bad whenever he blows up at one of his friends, he just struggles with actually apologizing about it. Julie is helping him a lot with this, and even though progress is slow, he’s slowly learning and getting better at it

[mikalara-dracula]

Rainy days with their s/o

ft. Yuma and Subaru

Warning: 18+ content below; don't read if you're a minor.

Yuma:

Well, since he can’t garden that day, he’s quite bored and out of ideas as to what to do.

He’d be kinda grumpy about it, especially if he was planning to plant something new that day.

“Man, out of all days it has to rain today.”

“You say that every time it rains. It’s mother nature’s way of doing things. You can’t change it.”

“Tch! What does she know?!”

He’d eventually get over the fact that he can’t garden and would sit down and watch a little TV with you, however, he’s always judging everything that’s on.

For example, if a movie or show is on and he doesn’t really like it, he’ll criticize the characters he finds stupid.

“That guy’s an idiot. That’s not how you get a girl.”

“Oh, and I suppose you know?”

“How do you think I got you, little pig.” He’d grin, making you hit him playfully.

On days like this, he tends to get clingy because he has nothing else to do.

Basically, without his garden he’s lost on what to do and will constantly tease and bother you throughout the day.

For example, since it’s rainy outside, you figured you’d make yourself a nice hot chocolate since it corresponded well with the weather.

However, as you were drinking it in the kitchen, he came in and decided to bother you about what you were doing.

“What are you drinking, little pig?”

“A hot chocolate.” You’d smile.

“Oh good, maybe you’ll gain a little and it’ll go where I want it most.” He’d grin while reaching behind to clutch your ass xDD.

“Yuma! Is that all you care about?!”

“Hey, this little pig’s ass belongs to me, so I get to decide how big I want it.”

If you two are cuddling on the couch, he absolutely refuses to let you go. He literally treats you as if you’re his body pillow.

“Yuma, let me go.”

“Fight your way out of it, little pig.” He’d grin, finding your struggle funny.

Since there isn’t much to do on days like this, he might allow you to style his hair any way you want and might even do yours.

Believe it or not, he's an expert at braiding. His favorite style is a fishtail braid and he thinks it looks beautiful on you.

His talent for braiding is so versed that even his brothers might comment as to how pretty it looks on you.

"It looks so . . . nice, Y/N." Azusa would comment.

"Wow little maso-kitty, it looks great on you. Did Yuma do that?" Kou would add.

"As expected, Yuma's known for such styles. You display it well." Ruki would admit.

“Yeah, only the best for my little pig.” Yuma would smirk, a subtle boast in his tone, causing you to blush at his statement.

He likes giving you piggy back rides throughout the house, but he’ll pretend to drop you just to scare you because he’s an asshole.

With all this boredom, Yuma might even get into asking you a few dirty riddles.

"Hey little pig, what's six inches long, goes in your mouth and is more fun if it vibrates?"

"Yuma!"

"Damn, little pig, I didn't know you could be so dirty-minded. I'm just talking about a toothbrush."

"Well it certainly didn't sound that way."

"My god! How could you think such a thing?” He said, acting oh-so innocent, a smirk soon appearing on his face, showing his true colors. “Oh, I get it, you wanted it to be something else."

“What are you-,”

“C’mere, little pig.” He’d say, tackling and pinning you to a nearby couch, starting to tickle you.

"No! Stop!'' You'd squeal, Yuma still continuing to tickle you as you laughed beneath him.

At one point he might grow fed up with the rain and decide to go outside anyways.

"Y’know what, this is stupid. C'mon, little pig. We're not gonna let a little rain tell us what to do." He’d say, taking you by your wrist and dragging you behind him.

"Yuma, wai-,"

He’d continue running and drag you outside in the pouring rain, making you get soaking wet as he picks you up into his arms and spins you around, his lips melding onto yours as he’d hungrily kiss you. He’d soon pull away and put you down, a scowl on your face due to him getting you drenched in mother nature’s tears.

“Yuma! You got me all wet!”

"Damn, I tried to make this romantic and you're complaining about getting wet?"

You’d sigh, “Getting romantic doesn’t mean getting wet!”

“Oh really?” He’d smirk. “Then how come my little pig gets wet every time I-,”

“Shut up!” You’d say, hitting him playfully, causing him to laugh.

Subaru:

Doesn’t care if it’s rainy or not since he doesn’t really go out.

However, if it’s raining at night time and he wants to go in the rose garden, he might be a little irritated about it.

And since he doesn’t have any hobbies, this is a little hard on him.

Plus, since he’s a tsundere, he'll act pretty annoyed in general, even going down to being a total ass.

Compared to Yuma, he gets clingy in a different way--that is, he secretly hopes that you’ll spend time with him since he can’t go out to the garden.

If you’re busy doing your own stuff tho, he’ll attempt to get involved but will act like he’s disinterested in doing so.

But it’s not like you mind him getting involved--that is, if he’s being genuine.

For example, you were once sitting down at the table working on your homework late at night, finishing up the last thing for your assignment when he walked in and came up behind you.

He placed his head in the crook of your neck, being curious about what you were doing as his gaze traveled to the assignment you were working on.

“What are you doing?”

“Homework.” You’d answer.

“Tch! What a pain.”

“It’s not so bad, I’m almost done.”

“Why don’t you just take a break?”

“Subaru, there’s really no point since I’m close to finishing.” You’d say going back to your work, but of course, the white-haired vampire had to persist.

He lifted up his face from the crook of your neck and took notice of your exposed bra strap. A smirk grew on his face and being the tease that he is, he’d take his fingers and use them to pull on it and have smack against your skin just to annoy you and throw you off guard.

“What the hell?”

“It’s not my fault it was right there, you should hide it better next time.” He’d smirk.

If the atmosphere is quiet and he sees you’re busy but doesn’t want to bother you, he’ll just watch what you’re doing whilst you’re busy working and shuffling around doing your stuff. With watching the way your body moves and the look of concentration on your face, it builds up a lot of sexual tension as he'd stand by with his arms crossed in hopes that something intimate happens or is initiated.

Oh the things this bby car imagines xDD.

He’ll also try to get involved in other things you’d be doing as well, such as crafts.

After finishing your homework, you decided to do something a bit more productive, so you decided to go work on a painting you had been working on. You’d get pretty focused and concentrated, that is until Subaru came up behind you and decided to intervene.

“What are you up to now?”

“Painting.”

“Tch! Lame.”

He’d just continue to stand there, his figure still looming over yours. An idea soon hit you. You knew he was bored, so you decided to make painting time a little more fun.

Turning to him, you’d ask, “Hey, why don’t you help.”

“Huh?”

“Help me with the painting.”

“Do I look like Picasso to you?” He’d sarcastically remark.

“Subaru, it doesn’t matter what it looks like in the end. What matters is the fun you have when painting.”

“Tch! That’s stupid.” He’d retort.

“Alright, then. Suit yourself.”

Since he didn’t want to, you turned around and began painting again.

Deep down, Subaru secretly found your offer to be sweet since he really didn’t mind helping and wanted to spend time with you, but because he has a hard time expressing his emotions through his tough exterior, it always came off as if he didn’t care.

The white-haired vampire sighed, feeling torn between the feeling of wanting to do something memorable with you versus him getting caught doing something crafty by one of his brothers, but because you were more important, he decided to help.

“Alright, where do you want me to begin?” He’d say picking up a brush and sitting down next to you.

Taken back by his sudden decision, you’d say. “Oh, um, you can start over here.” You’d say, pointing to a blank space on the canvas. “Just paint it blue for now and then I’ll tell you what to do from there.”

He said nothing and began to do what you asked him, both of you working hard on the masterpiece.

While working, you’d occasionally sneak a few glances at him, seeing how his progress was going.

You honestly had to admit how attractive Subaru looked when he was concentrated on something, the way his eyes angled themselves as they narrowed in on the area he was working on, a few stray locks being in his face, his lips being ajar and lurid in the lighting as he continued to work.

To be honest, you definitely had to ask him to paint more often with you.

He definitely looked busy, an idea striking you again but in a more playful aspect. Since he looked so concentrated, you dipped your finger into the paint and smeared some on his cheek.

“Hey! What the hell?!”

You honestly couldn’t help but laugh, leading him to grin, “Oh, you think that’s funny? Then how about this?”

He’d be quick to dip multiple fingers in the paint and smear it all over your face. Accepting his challenge, you were quick to dip your hand in paint and smear it all over his face as payback, but this was far from over.

This ended up becoming an entire paint war, you and Subaru’s laughter echoing as you chased each other about the room and continued to smear and splatter paint on each other, both of you becoming a colored mess as the walls became vandalized in the process.

“I’m gonna get you, Y/N. You’re gonna look like a rainbow by the time this is over.” He’d grin, his hand fully loaded with paint being ready to rub it on you.

“Catch me if you can!” You’d tease sticking your tongue out, whilst running away from him.

It was all fun and games however, until Reiji came in and saw the mess, leading him to scold you two.

“What is the meaning of this?”

You both would be quick to blame it on each other as you’d talk over each other in unison, but Reiji didn’t care to hear excuses.

“Please see to it that this is cleaned up, otherwise I’ll have to discipline the two of you thoroughly.” He’d say, quickly taking his leave as you both laughed about what happened, soon cleaning it up together.

On rainy nights, he might show a bit of a soft side.

However, bear in mind that he will be quick to lean back into his tsundere side if he thinks the moment is getting too soft.

Likes to lay in his coffin with you if you both want to relax. He’ll act annoyed the entire time due to him being a tsundere, but secretly, he loves the fact that you’re next to him.

Likes to have you sit in his lap, while you’re reading, having a blanket draped over the both of you, whilst he’d rest his face in the crook of your neck. He honestly loves being so close to you, but he’d never admit it.

Here, he might take the opportunity to either place a soft kiss on your neck or bite your shoulder if he’s feeling thirsty.

He likes to cuddle and lay on top of you, but won't let you leave to do anything else because he's so clingy.

"Subaru, let me go."

"Not a chance."

When he’s not being soft, you two are bound to bicker about the stupidest things--like heights, for example, leading him to become a total mess.

"You're not taller than me, Y/N. We've been over this."

"Oh no?" You’d sass, stepping onto his coffin, being slightly taller than him now. "How about now?"

He scoffed, a grin appearing on his face as he’d playfully grab you and pin you onto a nearby wall, giving you the greediest and lustful kisses as you both kept laughing in unison.

Might let you style his hair, such as putting it up into a ponytail or style it in some other way.

You once put bows in his hair and he was so annoyed by it at first, but he eventually started to find it funny and began laughing with you, but that was all until Laito came in and took a picture of him with his new style.

“Fufu~, love the new look, Subaru. I’ve gotta say it suits you.”

“Why you!” He’d hiss, quickly running after him to make him delete the photo and beat the living crap out of him for doing that and seeing him in such a state.

On rainy nights, be prepared for a lot of fun and games because apart from paint wars, Subaru can take things to a whole new level.

Since it was raining and you couldn’t go anywhere, you decided to try out a new makeup style.

And of course, he’d have to get into your business and tell you he finds it stupid.

"Tch! Why do girls even wear that shit?!"

"Oh shut up, you boys like it. Don't lie.”

“Whatever.” He’d retort, saying nothing else.

You sighed knowing he was bored, so you asked the unthinkable once again to help him cope with not being able to go out because of the rain.

“Do you want help?”

“Help? With what?”

“With this new makeup style.”

“Tch! Seriously?”

“All you have to do is add the eyeshadow and lipstick. I’m not asking you to do anything crazy.”

Sighing and knowing it was better than doing nothing, he’d say, “Fine.”

He’d turn you to him so he could have better access to your face to apply the makeup.

“Just don't make me look like a clown.” You’d warn closing your eyes, allowing Subaru to put on the eyeshadow.

This is when he was struck with a mischievous idea, an infamous smirk twisting on his lips as he applied the makeup to your face.

And after what seemed like quite some time, he finally finished.

“Okay, it’s done.”

You’d sigh, “Finally, I can’t wait to see it. I’m sure it looks amazing.”

“You bet it does.” He’d mutter under his breath, it not being loud enough for you to hear.

Opening your eyes, you looked at your reflection in the mirror and screamed. The makeup looked so bad, maybe worse than a clown.

"Subaru!"

“Ha! What a face!” He’d scoff.

“Ass!” You’d hiss, chasing him around the room as he’d laugh.

Now because you couldn’t let him get away with what he did, as payback you decided to draw a mustache on him while he was sleeping.

When he woke up and saw his reflection in the mirror he grew shocked, and instantly knew it was you who had done it.

(Ik vampires typically can’t see their reflection in a mirror, but I’m not sure about DL here, but let’s just assume that he can considering it hasn’t been mentioned (maybe I’m wrong here??); and also because Reiji implied that some human-made vulnerabilities don’t apply to them, so this might not).

“Y/N!”

“Payback's a bitch isn't it?” You’d giggle, standing a few feet away from him.

“Now, you're gonna get it!” He’d say, chasing you around to no end, only leaving you to laugh as he kept running after you.

[wickedpact]

You can't just drop that "I read Forces Multiplied" bomb on us and not give a ten page written reaction.

[cracks knuckles] if u insist

nicky cant drive hc: destroyed. rip. also i loved how andy and nile stole those sports cars and were being badass and driving off the bridge & meanwhile joe and nicky were just absolutely vibing in the van

'heres the thing about power: people who have it think they deserve it' [shot of police car] i see u greg

5 whole panels being dedicated to booker not being able to unlock his door. booker not even seeing noriko sitting RIGHT THERE in the window at first. incredible

noriko being 24/7 horny was surprising. like wow all of the stuff i saw she did out of context was 100% equally horny in context as it was out of context. love that for her

i didnt think the 'andy + slavery' thing was handled as badly as everyone made it out to be when telling me about it. tho from the way it was talked about i had kind of figured the conflict between andy and nile re: slavery would be really racially charged (esp considering nile is a black american and would obvs have Thoughts on the subject in that regard) but like,, done in a cringey 'a-white-guy-obviously-wrote-it' kind of way? but it wasnt that. i mean. it makes sense that andy would be implicit in slavery through the years

i mean, like she says, is that not what people just did to each other in the aftermath of battles for thousands of years? and i really like how its pointed out that it was what she was raised with (in the beginning when you see her put shackles on that guy after the battle) but she also accepts responsibility for it and acknowledges that it was wrong and not just 'what people did'.

i like how from her expressions you can kind of tell baby andy knew it was off but she sets those feelings aside bc she felt angry. it explains how she felt but didnt make her out to be blameless in it. plus i mean. i dont know, the fact that andy was involved in a lot of morally shady stuff for 7000 years is not that wild for me. if you live that long youre just Going to be involved in some shit, and she didnt even have other immortals with her as positive community influences, she literally just did whatever the fuck she wanted for thousands of years

'i was worshipped as a god once' i mean, yeah no shit she wouldve been involved in some seriously fucked up stuff, gods were fucking scary back in the day

tldr it could use some polish but it wasnt that bad

tho everything people said about moose being boring was unfortunately a little true. sorry king i tried to be interested in you

joe and nicky writing verbal fanfiction about nile and moose was iconic. 'you seeing that?' 'i am definitely seeing that'

it was also extremely funny bc that was like 60% of their contribution to the whole comic, besides kidnapping copley. they came, they wrote some fanfic, they left. kings. at least in tog1 they had an excuse to be useless bc they got kidnapped

joe just found out his old friend who he thought was dead is alive (and also probably wants to murder them) and instead of investigating with andy he stopped to help nile up. champ.

nicky shooting noriko through andy was cool. rip to the concept since it wont happen in tog2

wanna see mr ejiofor deliver this line

on that note imo copley was. weirdly enough, more interesting in fm than in tog1. to me at least. the fact that andy let him live and he was so haunted by what had happened that he came back and sought them out despite knowing they would likely kill him for it bc he wanted to not only make up for what hed done but also to tell them what theyd done for the world was admittedly more interesting than andy just kind of drafting him to the cause and him going 'okie'

i like how nicky was drawn in this one. in opening fire he looks like a blob man but in fm he looks more like a very nice grampa with a very good dye job

'theres no pain like a broken heart' andy 🥺

noriko implying andy's never drowned. .. .idk about that one, she musta drowned sometime

joe and nicky came, they waxed poetic about nile's love life, they waxed poetic about grog, and then they left.

sports bras being a reason humanity is good. i mean..... okay, yeah.

i mean. wild but you cant exactly tell her shes wrong

i liked how noriko telling andy that their purpose is to make people suffer coincides with joe and nicky finding out that they actually did good all those years

joenicky in opening fire: jail for booker jail for booker for 100 years

joenicky when copley tells them he knows where booker is: WE'LL KILL YOU WHERE IS HE

joenicky when copley comes back: if your vibes come off as even remotely rancid we Will destroy you

joenicky 2 minutes later when copley helped them find booker: he made up some ground :)))) <3 lov you j cops

theyre forgiving af

moose: how old are you?? a hundred??? a thousand???

nile [vine voice]: I M 2 7 ?

alright andy you got me there

joe texts like my aunt

i dont know why noriko drowning andy in that car tickled me. Bad And Naughty Andromaches Get Put In The Pear Wiggler To Atone For Their Crimes.

the drowning sequence was cool

copley trying to talk to andy while she was like o_o at him was great

ive hit the picture limit but id seen that panel where nicky goes 'forgive me' as he kills a guy out of context and it was HILARIOUSLY anticlimactic for me to discover that there was literally no context to it. nicky just apologizes to random people he kills. i thought that guy was someone he knew or something. nope its just Some Guy that nicky didnt know from adam

nile's complaint that andy was especially brutal to the guys on the boat... i mean. . , how exactly does one kill a man with an axe and not be brutal about it?

it was funny how noriko kissed andy and the only people who seemed surprised by that were nile and also andy

nicky and joe's complete non-reaction to finding out noriko is alive And Evil Now is endlesly funny. they just left her on that boat and neither cared. i get book and nile not caring but joe and nicky knew her, and they just have 0 input on the subject of what to do with her

pinstripe suit guy!

joe and nicky and booker packing up and leaving with nile

andy blowing up at nile was A Moment tho

i dont know, i get why people didnt like the ending but its. .. . it makes more sense in the comicverse. bc the squad doesnt really. .. interact outside of jobs? i mean, think of the moon landing story in ttt. that was booker and joe and nicky doing a job and andy only showed up a for a couple minutes after it was done. or the brunch in the first issue of opening fire. the squad arent as tight in the comic, and andy often seems to do her own thing outside of work, so andy saying 'i dont want to do work anymore' and the squad being like 'alright bye then' makes more sense in this universe than the movie one

also i feel like greg was Trying to set up a thing where nile becomes the Leader of The Squad after andy dies but like. its not very well done since. . . i mean, nile hasnt spoken to booker since opening fire, (and she only knew him A Day). and shes known joe and nicky all that time, but there isnt really anything that indicates that they have any relationship at all, much less one that's grown. in all the comicverse the only time nile and nicky speak is in FM, and in that scene nicky tells nile about noriko. nile goes from someone who needs to be set aside to have background knowledge explained to her to being the Leader of the group with nothing in between. it kind of... comes out of nowhere.

on the other hand tho... i felt really bad for andy thru the whole thing. well, i always felt bad for andy, but in this one she seemed so miserable, especially since it really felt like none of the others actually.... cared about her. when noriko came back no one asked andy how she was doing (big question ik, but it wouldve showed they cared at least), nobody ever expressed any concern for her, no one even really seemed to want to be around her. in opening fire everyone was more distant than in the movie of course, but there were little moments where she would joke with joe, or nicky would try and comfort her, or stuff like that, but in FM it really felt like they just didnt really care about her. & in opening fire it felt a lot like andy's relationship with nile breathed some new life into her, but in FM it felt like all they did was argue. i get theyre not *as* close in the comics but it really felt like the only person who cared about andy at all was noriko (which was probably also how andy felt) but it just seemed to come out of nowhere. honestly i was reading and i was honestly agreeing with andy that she might just be better off if she did just die. opening fire, on the other hand, never make me feel that way

tho everyone made it sound like when the squad split up it was one of those cursed 'the found family leaves each other at the end of the journey' tropes. but guys i mean,,, this is the second installment out of three. that isnt the End. theyll come back in the third one and Dramatically Reunite to fight some baddies (probably those 'others' noriko mentioned). im guessing yitzhak fits into that too somehow.

anyways it wasnt That Bad but it made me kind of sad and the only Sweet Found Family vibes in it were when they saved booker. also they shouldve beefed up that nilemoose romance, it underwhelmed me. 6.5/10

i also ABSOLUTELY understand all of greg's comments about how you couldnt make FM directly into a movie, he always said that it had no plot and. i get it now. it really didnt have a plot sdfghjkl

[massivelycreepypineapple]

Awkward Wounds

Request: Hey! Love your work!😍 I was wondering if you could write some angsty and fluffy dean story? Like reader gets injured on hunt in a private place but doesn't show (coz it's embarassing). She likes dean tho. Sam knows this. While celebrating in a bar, dean goes with some other chick and Sam notices reader's hurt expressions. So they go to motel and Sam helps reader stitch up and check the body parts. Next day at the bunker dean gets surprised why Sam is picking her up everytime she wants to the bathroom or go anywhere. Dean learns the truth and gets jealous and angry on both of them. Super angsty here and then dean picks her up to take her to his room and checks the reader again. Reader is embarassed since it's a private part of her body even though she likes him. Dean convinces her and checks her. He is still angry but after like 10 mins, he says sorry and admits his crush. All the fluff here pleas🥺 I am sorry if this is all confusing, English is not my first language 😅

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Fem!Reader, Sam Winchester x Fem!Reader (platonic).

A/N: I’m sorry it took so long to get this out. I hope you like it.

Word Count: 3018

❅ ❅ ❅

It would’ve been funny had it not been for the overwhelming pain Y/N was feeling. She should’ve known nothing ever goes smoothly when a vampire was involved, let alone an entire nest. 

Unfortunately for her, she let her guard down and just as she took a step back to steady herself after the final kill, she tripped, performing a perfect split, landing on something sharp. But fortunately for her, the sharp bastard she landed on, missed where the sun don’t shine by a few inches and got her inner thigh instead. She had had cuts before, but none in such an intimate and sensitive place that it hurt like a bitch.

Y/N was even more lucky that the brothers weren’t around to witness her performance. They were busy making sure the bodies were burned, and no trace of the hunt existed. She limped her way back to the impala after ripping off a piece of her flannel and tying it around the wound, inside her pants, to prevent herself from bleeding out. Her jeans managed to cover it up pretty well.

The boys soon got in after taking care of the bodies, excited that things went smoothly for them.

“Oh man! That was a good one!” Exclaimed Dean getting behind the wheel. “This calls for a drink! What do you say? Hit the bar and celebrate?”

“Hell yeah!” Said Sam grinning. It wasn’t often that he agreed to go to a dingy bar. But he had to admit that this hunt went really well. “You okay with that, Y/N?”

Y/N smiled softly at him and nodded. “Yeah, I’m in.” 

Dean looked at her through the rear view mirror, frowning slightly, “All okay there, sweetheart?” 

Y/N’s breath hitched when she made contact with his green eyes. “Y-yeah, I’m good. Just a little sore.”

“Well, maybe a little whiskey will do you good.” He said winking at her. 

God he was going to be the death of her heart. Y/N had been in love with Dean almost since the beginning. He really was a gem of a man and everything she wanted in her life. And the only one who even knew about it was Sam. Who was currently looking worriedly at her. 

She smiled at him reassuringly, conveying quietly that she was fine and there was nothing to worry about. He seemed to buy it when he turned back around, listening to Dean animatedly talk about something.

Y/N was glad her boys were getting a small bit of happiness in their messed up lives. So she lied about being okay. Not to mention she’d have to explain how she hurt herself there and they’d never let her live this down. She decided sucking it up till she got back to the bunker tomorrow was the best course of action. 

With the way Dean drove, they reached a bar in less than 30 mins. Dean was the first one out, saying he’d meet them inside since he needed to use the bathroom. Sam got out and waited for Y/N to join him. She got out slowly wincing quietly to not raise suspicion. but that was short lived when sam noticed her limping slightly. 

“What’s wrong? Where are you hurt?” He asked rushing to her. 

“I’m fine sam. My legs are sore is all. let’s just go have some fun, please?” She insisted. He reluctantly let it go and resorted to watching her like a hawk. Sam was like a brother to Y/N. The boys were her only best friends and she was so grateful for their existence. But days like today when all she wanted was to get the day over with, Sam could come off as overbearing. 

They made their way into the bar and found a table at the back. Y/N realised with mild dread that the seats are going to be much harder to sit on than the impala. 

Sam noticed her just standing by the table, “Y/N, aren’t you going to sit?”

“hmm?” she said snapping out of her thoughts. “Oh yeah, sorry.” she sat down ever so slowly. Trying not to show just how much her thigh hurt. 

“Are you sure you’re okay?” 

“Yeah, I’m fine.” She grinned at him.

Right then to her relief Dean came back with two bottles of beer and a glass of whiskey, just the way she liked it. 

“Here ya go, sweetheart. Drink up. You’ll feel so much better” He grinned at her placing the drinks on the table. 

Y/N grabbed her glass and chugged the whole thing down in one go surprising both the boys. “What?” She questioned quirking an eyebrow. 

“N-Nothing” Dean said. “That was fast.”

“Well, I need another.” she replied flagging down a waiter for more. The drink was really helping her with the pain and damn them if they found it weird.

Three drinks in Y/N was feeling that wonderful buzz that made her pain bearable. She and Sam were engaged in light conversation while Dean was off somewhere. Everything was pleasant until her eyes landed on Dean making out with a girl. 

Y/N’s face fell at that sight and she started tearing up. She had never before reacted so strongly to Dean hooking up with someone. But today, with the drinks coupled with the pain from her wound, she was overwhelmed. 

Sam noticed the sudden change in demeanour and turned around to see what she was looking at and realisation hit him like a truck. He turned his puppy dog eyes on her and was just about to say something encouraging when - 

“Don’t, Sam. We both knew this would happen. I’ve had three glasses and I’m tired. I’m fine.” She said and got out of the chair, forgetting about her pain. But it hit her all at once and her knees buckled and her palms hit the table hard, in an attempt to catch herself. 

Sam was quick on his feet, and caught her before she fell onto the floor. “Okay, that’s it Y/N! Where are you hurt? How bad is it?” He was mad at her now.

“It’s-“

“Don’t you dare say it’s nothing!” He whispered harshly trying to lead her to the door before people started noticing them. Luckily Dean had given Sam the keys to the Impala before ditching them. 

“It’s embarrassing okay!” She replied, trying not to yell out in pain. Sam didn’t reply to that, still annoyed with her for not telling them. He got her into the car and drove to the motel they were staying at in tensed silence. 

He brought her inside and sat her down on the bed, the movement making her wince. In the light of the motel, he finally noticed blood on her jeans near her right thigh. He sighed, closing his eyes before asking her to take them off. 

“Sam…I can take care of it.” She said softly, embarrassed and reluctant to let him see her like that. 

“Y/N, it’s just me, okay? You’re bleeding and I need to see how bad it is. So please just take your pants off.”

She was too much in pain physically and emotionally to argue anymore so she complied and took her pants off. Sam sucked in a breath when he noticed the position of the wound and how deep it was. He quietly cleaned and stitched it up, making sure to not cause more pain. 

Once she was cleaned up, he helped her move under the blankets so she could get some much needed sleep. 

“Please don’t tell Dean” She whispered.

“Okay. I won’t.” He replied, wishing the two of them would just talk. “But how did this happen, Y/N?”

“I tripped, did a fantastic split and landed on something sharp, okay?!” She glared at him, daring him to say something.

Sam raised his hands in defence, trying not to show how amused he was, “You’re lucky it wasn't a few inches to the right.”

“Goodnight, Sam” She said curtly and went to sleep.

Nothing more was said between them.

______________

The next day the trio drove back to the bunker and Y/N made her way to the bathroom to take a shower. She wanted to wash away the previous day and lock herself in her room to try and get over Dean. It was working quite well until she got hungry and tried to make her way to the kitchen. But the painkillers weren’t really helping with movement. She managed to get out of bed, but was stuck standing leaning against the wall. Luck was with her, however, as a knock landed on her door. 

“Yeah?” She asked. 

The door opened with Sam coming in, “Hey, I just wanted to check on you. And ask if you wanted lunch.” 

“I’m umm... I can’t walk” Y/N whispered without making eye contact. Sam smiled softly walking towards her. He picked her up bridal style making her wince slightly before settling down. It was much more bearable than walking for sure. 

He brought her into the kitchen and seated her on the chair at the dining table and placed a plate of food in front of her, grabbing one for himself. 

“Where’s Dean?” She asked.

“He ate early. He’s in his room, relaxing I guess.”

“Oh. Okay.”

“Y/N…You have to tell him. I hate seeing you like this.”

“You know I can’t, Sam. He doesn’t feel that way about me.”

“You’d be surprised.”

“I really won’t” She chuckled. 

Sam sighed at that. He was stuck between two stubborn knuckleheads who just couldn’t see what was right under their nose. It was more exhausting than any hunt he’d been on. 

After Y/N finished her food, she attempted to get up only to be stopped by Sam. He made his way to her side and went to pick her up.

“Sam, wait.” She said quickly.

“What? What’s wrong?” He was worried. 

“I should go by myself.” 

“Y/N, you can barely stand, let alone walk!”

“I need to pee.” She mumbled blushing. 

“Oh..” He said wide eyed. “It’s okay, I don’t mind helping.”

“But-”

He didn’t let her finish, he simply picked her up and took her to the bathroom. He waited outside with the door slightly open incase she needed him. Y/N should find this weird. Sam was her best friend helping her take a wee. It should have been awkward. But instead she was glad he had her to help. Even though she wished it was Dean helping her out, and caring for her, she was so grateful to Sam. When she was done, Sam picked her up again bringing her outside. Just as they walked out, they bumped right into Dean. 

Dean looked at the scene in front of him wide eyed, unsure of how to react. He then settled at glaring fiercely at them. Y/N paled when she met his eyes. Of all the things to happen, this was not on her list at all. She didn’t want him getting the wrong idea, but clearly it was too late. 

“Dean, It’s not what it looks like!” Said Sam desperately trying to defuse the situation. Dean didn’t reply to that. He was radiating anger and his jaw was visibly clenching. He turned around and began walking away. “I was just helping her pee!” Sam added, then flinched at how wrong that sounded.

Dean abruptly stopped and turned around, “Oh! Caz that’s not weird at all! What? Is this some kinky shit you guys came up with? Watch each other pee?” He snapped. “You know what Sam, after everything this is what I get huh? Real nice, man.” He turned around and started to walk away again. Y/N didn’t understand what that meant. All she wanted was for this nightmare to end. She wished she had handled the hunt better. She wished she had the guts to just tell that beautiful moron how she felt.

Sam slowly put Y/N down and after making sure she could balance herself, went after Dean. “Would you just Listen to-” He was interrupted as Dean in a fit of rage slammed Sam against the wall.

“NO! There is nothing left to be said. I get it Sam!. I’m just the fucking third wheel here! Always have been! Just took me a while to notice!”

“Dean!” Y/N called out. He turned his glare at her sharply. Her heart clenched at that. All she wanted was to love him and be loved by him. Not drive him away any further. 

Dean let go of Sam and turned to her, “I’m not going to hurt your boyfriend, Y/N” He snarled at her. “It was always him wasn’t it? Your best friend. I knew you guys were close. You always did choose him over me. I can see now why. Just leave me alone for a while.” 

If Y/N’s heart was broken before, this nearly destroyed it. She never realised that she pushed Dean away in fear of loving him. She unconsciously hung out more with Sam because it was easy. She didn’t have to hide. But standing there, hearing those words come out of his mouth damn near killed her. 

“Dean, we’re not dating, I swear!” Y/N managed to get out before she gasped out in pain as she took a step forward to reach out to him. Right before she collapsed, Dean was by her side in an instant, shocked at her reaction. He looked down and noticed blood seeping into her sweats. Sam rushed forward to help, but Dean snapped at him, “I got her, Sammy!” 

______________

He picked her up and carried her into his room. Y/N was struggling not to cry out in pain. He gently placed her on his mattress and reached out to pull her pants down only to be stopped by her hands. 

“I need to see, Y/N” He said, anger still evident despite the worry in his eyes. 

“Dean, it’s embarrassing okay? It’s too close to my… you know.” She said, turning slightly red. God, the first time he saw her intimately, it had to be like this. Why couldn’t things just work out for once?

“Yeah, maybe this was a bad idea. It should be Sammy here. I wasn’t thinking-” He said visibly upset.

“No! Dean, there is nothing going on between me and Sam.” Said Y/N desperately.

He glared at her, “Yeah you mentioned, and yet you’ll let him help you but not me! Am I really that horrible of a friend to you? I know I’m not a fucking saint like my brother, but I care about you so much, it-” He stopped himself before he could say something he’d regret.

Y/N had tears coming down her cheeks in a mixture of pain and hurt. If she told him just why she has been distant with him, she'd lose him forever. But she hated seeing him like this. She let go of his hands, signalling him that he could take a look. He pulled her sweats down and pushed her injured leg up, spreading her thighs apart. He took in the injury and didn’t say anything as he grabbed supplies from his bathroom.

She could see Dean’s jaw clenching as he worked on her stitches. Nothing was said between them and she didn’t know what to expect. She was embarrassed but a part of her felt all warm and fuzzy that Dean was taking care of her. Once everything was cleaned up, he looked at her. Suddenly all traces of anger were gone. 

“Did you get hurt anywhere else?” He asked softly.

Y/N shook her head at him, confused by his change in behaviour. He helped her pull her pants up, giving her that small bit of relief. He helped her sit up against the headboard and sat down beside her.

“How did you get hurt, sweetheart?” He asked. 

Y/N hesitantly told him what went down after killing the vamp, making him crack a small smile. Y/N didn’t mind this time, if anything it broke the tension between them. Making them chuckle at how ridiculous her injury was. Then Dean got quiet for a bit before talking.

“I’m sorry for the way I behaved. It was uncalled for.” He whispered looking away.

“I’m sorry too, Dean.” Y/N replied. “I didn’t mean to push you away.”

“Why did you?”

“Because loving you was getting to be too much for me. Watching you screw perfect skinny girls one after the other was killing me on the inside.” she said bluntly. She figured it was now or never and whatever happened, happened.

Dean’s head snapped up in shock. He looked at her trying to figure out if this was some cruel joke. When he saw it wasn’t he grabbed her face and kissed her deeply. When they pulled away it was Y/N’s turn to look stunned. 

“Those girls don’t hold a candle to you, honey.” he said softly with a small smile forming on his perfect lips. His thumb brushed her lips, “I love you so much. Always have. I didn’t think you’d ever feel the same. I thought you wanted nothing to do with me. So I looked for a distraction.” He chuckled humourlessly.

“I’m sorry Dean.” 

“I’m sorry too.” He smiled at her. he then groaned.

“What?” Y/N asked.

“Sammy was right! Now I owe him!” Dean said, making Y/N giggle. 

“Yeah, he said I’d be surprised if I told you how I feel.” 

“You do realise how unbearable he’s going to be right?” 

“Well, as long as I got you, we can handle it” Y/N said leaning in to kiss him once more. 

“Never letting you go.” Said Dean wrapping her up in his arms, letting her rest her head against his chest. He pressed a kiss to her head. “Rest sweetheart. I’ll be right here when you wake up.”

“Okay” Y/N mumbled before falling asleep. She was happy for the first time in a long time. 

❅ ❅ ❅

TAGS BELOW

@hobby27 @akshi8278

[reversecreek]

ziggy strutting up to me like this gif as i hold up a crucifix n say begone begone vile beast BEGONE from my vicinity i will NOT buy u a happy meal wretched little boy...... some live action rp to start this off..... and SCENE. takes my bow. his pinterest is here n his playlist is here.

* dylan minnette, cis male + he/him  | you know ziggy benson, right? they’re twenty-four, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, all of his life? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to hand crushed by a mallet by 100 gecs like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole glitching televisions impaled by remotes, nonchalantly texting the babes as a stove fire ravages your kitchen & cartoons turned up so loud it fries your eardrums thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is november 24th, so they’re a sagittarius, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( nai, 24, gmt she/her  )

HISTORY;

from the second ziggy ws born he didnt stop screaming. within the first hours of his life he gave his father an ear splitting headache tht prompted him to say “that uncooked chicken’s fucking demonic” n joke abt popping “it” in the oven to roast. when this understandably received disgusted glances frm the nursing staff he ws all like “jeez alright alright i’m kiddin i’m kiddin can’t a guy have a joke around here?” n i feel like that sets up their dynamic so nice n sweetly <3 (sarcasm) (lips pursed)

frm day one he ws just honestly a rly hyperactive child. when he laughed he’d shriek it out at the absolute top of his lungs bc he’d just get this huge giddy surge of energy all the way to the very tips of his toes n it’d hit him like a shock from a fork in a plug socket. their parenting style ws rly just lazy tbh.... they didn’t have much time for disciplining him. ziggy’s mum wld halfheartedly be like “ziggy quiet now....” n then go bk to nuking whatever vegetables she’d defrosted until they tasted like dinosaur bones..... this wld not make any difference in ziggy’s behaviour

his father rly just took the stance that it ws ziggy’s mum’s job to discipline him or raise him in general which is. 🔪 please enter the 20th century sir.... get ur noggin sorted..... needless to say he wsn’t much involved in ziggy’s life n honestly generally jst didn’t like him. ziggy was a responsibility he didn’t want (accidental prregnancy) n in his literal words once said (blatantly while ziggy ws watching cartoons on the sofa) tht ziggy just “harshes my fucking vibe a lil bit”. 

he wound up leaving when ziggy was six ish.... ziggy watched thru a crack in the blinds as his mum tried to grab at his jacket to make him stay as he lugged out his suitcase..... she even tried to physically cling onto him so he cldn’t get in his ride bt the door wound up slamming n she sat on her knees watching the lights pull out the drive n even long after they were gone. ziggy didn’t rly kno what to do abt this (emotions hd never been smthn he particularly understood, his own or how to handle other people’s) so after watching her fr 5 minutes he went out n gently shook her shoulder n was like. mom come inside u look weird out here. FKGHSFHGSFHKGFHKSGSFGHK. this was him trying to show love <3

ziggy’s mum is like.... rly relationship dependent. she gets all her self worth n validation frm whtever man she’s dating.... so she went on this like.... wild rampage of jst. dating a very large string of men. they ranged frm dreadfully boring to downright awful n were always below her standards. ziggy quite literally hated. all of them. every last one. even one that tried to b nice to him by offering to help him do his math homework when he ws 13 (bc ziggy was struggling a lot w this) n in response ziggy loudly barked until the man gt scared n stumbled backwards into a dining chair on his way out of the room. KGHFHKSJHFJGSHKFG

while him n his mum hv a kind of strained situation (there’s a great deal of resentment from her end n kind of. blaming him fr “driving his father away” n it’s never spoken abt bt it’s very much Present in their relationship n honestly ziggy kind of resents her too fr bringing some of the men into their lives tht she did) there is. love there...... sometimes she’ll like. reach out to cup the back of his head n he’ll duck his head away n be like wtf are u doing checking me for lice? n she’ll jst smile like :)...... knowing that’s how he loves. KHSFGKJGHKSFGFHKGSHF. ugh we love men who know how to process their emotions yesssss king give us nothing <3

(abuse n violence tw) idk i won’t go into it too much bt even tho ziggy’s constantly like 🙄 when his mum shows him affection he wld quite literally. kill fr her n almost did one time.......... narrowly avoided getting charged w assault when one of her bfs was drunk n evil n he went into protective mode.... idk he. has gone thru a lot n seen a lot n so has his mum. they look after each other the best they kno how despite the negatives in their relationship.... it’s complex <3

literally got in trouble so. often. at school. he ws always hyperactive (undiagnosed adhd n also probably not helped by the fact he ws jst allowed to eat sm junk food w 459729457952 sugar percentage all hours of the day) bt when his dad left n like. dealing w acting out so severely at home where his mum’s bfs were concerned it rly escalated..... i jst think he ws like. literally a terror. probably got suspended so many times. maybe even was permanently expelled before he cld get his diploma honestly. set off a firework in school hallway. smthn absolutely reckless n stupid.

hs hd a bunch of jobs mostly in the service industry...... usually ends up getting fired.... worked at mcdonald’s fr a while n then one day he went in rly high n ate three cheeseburgers in front of a weeping child who hd ordered one.... promptly gt fired bt he ws like yo fuck this place i’m quitting n threw off his apron n was like who’s with me??? who’s joining the union??????? to the rest of the staff n they were all mostly like >_> <_< before security approached to forcibly remove him n he grabbed a cookie n crammed it into his mouth in rebellion mid frantic n frankly possessed escape.....

in terms of wht’s going on to this day w his living situation i honestly think he still lives w his mum. i can just see this. KHGFSKGHSFGKSFGH. in like. a ramshackle bungalow in delphinus heights.... having said tht she probably isn’t. there tht often nw she’s dating her latest man (jonas, somehow always sweaty no matter the weather, wears too many gold rings n smells like shoe cleaner) who owns a car dealership n thinks he’s a kingpin for it. still home sometimes tho.

PERSONALITY:

ziggy spends his days working shifts at an ice cream parlour (one he got fired from once bc he broke in high n ate sm ice cream he was lay on the floor in the bk pants unbuttoned stomach bulging sm calling himself garfield saying he had too much lasagna. they hired him bk tho bc he has a harem of middle aged women who lust after him n it brings customers....) or like. cruising parties...... setting off fireworks.... skateboarding...... breaking into abandoned buildings.... filming stupid jackass type tricks....... playing guitar hero...... getting drunk at the arcade..... sometimes busking fr cash in a tossed dwn hat (very badly) (thinks he’s sick at it however)........ or alternatively...... fucking chicks aha...... fuck.......... not exclusive to chicks tho just had to sound despicable bt :smirk: he’s bi Baby.... 

i won’t lie he’s kind of an asshole................ never rly was taught properly how to empathise with ppl so like he struggles w that....... sometimes he’ll say smthn tht’s genuinely just quite mean n doesn’t need to be said but he doesn’t rly realise it’s like bad. n he’s like. what’s the deal haha why are u mad...... 

fuckboy. genuinely jst. rly summarises it well. insatiable. sleeps around wildly. will say he’ll call u back n then will not call u back. lies like oh babe i’m moving to france tomorrow fuckkkkkkkkk sucks so bad that we can only have one night but let’s make it special yeah? tits? n then they’ll see him casually skating past them on the street a week later n be like well clearly he’s not in france. ziggy doesn’t care.

calls himself a “genius inventor” bc he once gutted a vintage analog television n made it into a fish tank. it literally leaked water a bit. still convinced he is a literal visionary never seen before never done again. he’s like i’m on the brink of greatness. i’m the next einstein.

has a bit of a god complex where he thinks he’s the sexiest person in any given room n it’s kind of funny bc like dylan minnette’s sexy to me bt tht isn’t a widespread opinion n ur being a bit bold ziggy...... regardless has confidence thru the roof tht isn’t rly deterred by anything or anyone.....

dyes his hair 49729572459752 colours every colour under the sun. sometimes all at once jst different patches. wears lots of tie dye tshirts n basketball shorts even tho he doesn’t play basketball. rly colourful sneakers. just lots of loud colours tbh. often wears a paper clip in his ear as an earring. pierced it himself. someone probably recorded him doing it fr his insta story. probably was drunk.

drives a vespa around tht is baby blue with pastel yellow polka dots. it has lots of tin cans attached to the back by string like on those cars when u just got married. he did not just get married. u can hear him arriving frm over a street away.

almost never pays fr anything bt is always like “yo it’s my treat” n then either dine n dashes or u have to pay

his idea of romance is nuking a hot pocket as breakfast in bed n then complaining he’s hungry n eating half

WANTED CONNECTIONS:

fuckboy antics: he’s insatiable. rabid. notorious. mayb they fkd n he didn’t call........ jst completely ghosted........ mayb they were genuinely into him n he honestly built up kind of false pretences abt them having a connection n then jst dipped..... cld  b good fr angst n drama <3 someone please egg his house he deserves it <3

high skl heathens: locals tht were equally chaotic in hs..... just picture him having this group of misfits tht were like so loud n always getting up to no good doing god knows what god knows where.... probably gt arrested together breaking into an old abandoned hospital one time........... rly just doing the absolute most at all times............. probably so loud........... drinking n smoking far too much.....

an attempted teenage relationship: i’m like. tentative to even put this one bc i just feel like ziggy wld be a shit bf. KJHGFSHGFHGSFHGFKGHFKSG. but. maybe it ended in drama.....i’d say this wld probably be a girl bc in hs he probably ws less open w his sexuality... maybe ziggy cheated on her or she cheated on him................ angst........ strife.... we love it we love it........ i crash my car into the bridge... i don’t care... i love it... sudden icona pop moment me stood on stage singing karaoke.... it’s just gone 7am as i write this so i apologise if this is losing any. coherency. smiles so sexy....

last adolescent plot i swear: i picture when ziggy was expelled he somehow amassed a large group to protest w signs outside the school fr him to be accepted back. it didn’t work. he threw a party when he received news he hadn’t got back in anyway. maybe ur muse was involved or helped organise this or was violently opposed.

enemies: ppl who just. don’t like ziggy bc like honestly that’s so fair n valid. KJHGFKGHKSFGHSGKHSFHG..... mayb he like. exploded their mailbox one time when they were younger. mayb he skated over their toes. mayb he fucked their bitch aha fuck................. (joking btw) (don’t condone misogyny) (hashtag feminism). cld be fun to play around w

fwb: probably hs a few of these......... mayb they’re cool w things being no strings attached n lax n at ease w ziggy being the mess tht he is in general..... mayb they want more bt ziggy cannot provide...... mayb they literally don’t get on at all n this is their only mutual ground n they keep coming bk to each other.... :smirk:..... whatever u Farncy....

maybe ziggy’s mum dated ur muse’s dad at one point???? we can discuss this if u think it fits..... cld be fun to play around w............

coworkers: past or present r fun..... mayb they were like WTFFF is this guy fking ONNN at a past job (he’s had a few in the food service industry so pretty open in tht area)... mayb they work w him at the ice cream parlour now..... cn discuss the dynamic probably wld be dependent on the muse involved fr like. how he’d act n stuff.... :yum:

[magniloquent-raven]

Ooh for your prompts: Fluffy Elmax sleepover with cuddling for #16 pls :') xoxox

i had such a good time writing this omg thank you!!! tho there’s a couple bits that threaten to be angst because im physically incapable of writing pure fluff lmao. it’s just tiny bits tho. just a smidge.

also, because s4 isn’t out yet i uh. kinda just did a time skip but didn’t rly change anything about how s3 left off? i know we know hopper’s alive but like. i guess he’s just still in russia in this fic LMAO rip. don’t think about it too hard

posted on ao3 as well :)

—-

Max’s watch timer beeps obnoxiously again. 8:36. El’s late. She hits snooze.

“When’s your friend supposed to be here, sweetie?”

“Soon, mom. You know, you and Neil don’t have to wait up.” They do this every time. Like Max isn’t almost seventeen and perfectly capable of being alone in her own damn house for five minutes. At this rate they’re going to be late for whatever thing it is they’re going to, and Neil will be even more of a bitch than usual.

Her mom glances over at him. He’s sitting in his armchair looking surly, checking his watch pointedly. Asshole.

“Well…I don’t think—”

Max hears a car pull up out front. “Oh, thank fuck,” she mutters, turning on her heel and marching out to greet the Byers’.

Joyce climbs out of the passenger seat as Max strides across the lawn. “Max, honey!” she waves, grinning bright, “How are you?” There’s always a…tone to how she asks that. Questions lurking under the surface that they don’t talk about. It makes Max’s insides all squirmy thinking about it, though she is on some level grateful for the concern.

Max stands on the curb, tugging on her earring. A habit by now. It’s both a comfort and a reminder. She got one hell of a lecture the day she came out of the bathroom with blood running down her neck and a safety pin in her earlobe, but she didn’t regret it for a second.

El slides out of the driver’s seat, her smile crinkling the corners of her eyes. Max watches her stand and adjust her shirt. She always looked good in yellow. “I’m good,” Max responds after a beat, and it’s honest for once.

The door behind her creaks. Probably her mom and Neil coming out of the house, hopefully to leave, finally. She doesn’t turn around, just steps into Joyce’s waiting arms and presses her face into her shoulder. Max is taller than her now, by a couple inches, so it hurts her neck a little, but it’s worth it.

Will’s still tucked away in the backseat, peering through the window, Max waves at him when she peeks up over Joyce’s shoulder.

Then El distracts her. “Your hair,” she says, gently tugging on a lock behind her ear. Max steps back from Joyce, and runs a hand through it, cheeks pink. Three years ago she’d hacked off all her hair with a pocket-knife, woke up the morning of Billy’s funeral with strands still stuck to her neck, locks hanging ragged across her forehead. Her mother had thrown a fit.

“Yeah, I cut it again,” Max says, like that wasn’t obvious. She’d let it grow out uneven and messy for a while, but she broke out the scissors again about a month ago. It’s neater than her last haircut, but not by much.

El’s hand is in Max’s hair again, dangerously close to her face. Max’s knees wobble a little.

“Bitchin’,” she says solemnly, after a few seconds of consideration.  

Max’s grin is blinding.

Her mother cuts in, before she can respond, gives her the usual talk about staying in the house and making sure she’s got her emergency numbers memorized. Then she bids them all a hasty, distracted goodbye. Her mom was never very comfortable about the Byers’. Probably something about Joyce’s too-knowing gaze, or the fact that El glares daggers at Neil every time he’s within range.

She’s doing it now. Watching him get into his truck with a quiet rage in her eyes. Joyce puts a hand on her elbow, and it doesn’t move until Neil’s truck has turned the corner at the end of the street.

“We should get going,” Joyce says, checking her watch. “Will wanted to be at Claudia’s an hour ago but we got caught up at Mike’s house, and, well, you know how it is,” she flutters her hands, approximating a shrug.

She hugs El goodbye, then pulls Max in for another one. “Call us if you need anything,” she says, pulling back and putting her hands on Max’s shoulders. That sad glint is in her eye again, and Max knows the offer extends beyond tonight.

“Thanks, Joyce, we will.”

By the time she’s taken the corner at the end of Cherry Lane Max’s watch is beeping again.

El glances down at it, a pinch between her eyebrows. “…Was that for me?”

“Uh.”

The confusion melts off her face, replaced by a cheeky grin. “It was!”

Max shuts the alarm off, cheeks burning. “Why were you guys at Mike’s for so long?” she asks. eager to change the subject. If the guys are meeting up at Dustin’s the delay wasn’t because Will and Mike were catching up, and, well, Mike and El’s relationship is…of interest to Max. For reasons.

El purses her lips. It’s a face that tells Max they’re gonna need to be sitting and cozy for this conversation because it’s gonna be a long one. So, she links their arms and pulls her inside.

An hour later they’re huddled under a throw blanket on the couch. El is giggling, face in her hands, and Max is wheezing around a mouthful of skittles.

“Oh, that’s so not funny,” she chokes out, trying not to spew candy everywhere, which brings about a fresh wave of laughter. El’s shoulders are shaking, brushing against Max’s and making her warm all over. God damn, she’s missed this.

“Then why are you laughing,” El replies, poking her side and smiling from ear-to-ear.

She’s beautiful, Max thinks. Her braid is half-undone, letting her hair curl around her face in gentle waves, and her eyes are bright. She looks happy, and Max holds on to that, keeps it all for herself because she did that, she made that happen. She might not have everything she wants from El, but she’ll take whatever she can get. Whatever El wants to give. And sometimes just her smiles are enough, enough to make Max’s chest constrict and her heart glow, because for now, she’s happy too.

She laughs again, in leu of a response. How can she not, when she feels so light she could float away, high on the soft strawberry scent of El’s shampoo and the way her cheek dimples when she grins. But she can’t say that, so she says, “Because it’s Mike,” and pokes El right back. “I’m legally obligated to laugh at his misfortune.”

They have a complicated friendship, which mostly boils down to her being willing to bail him out when he’s in shit, but only if she gets to make fun of him while she does it.

El wrinkles her nose a little, but her smile doesn’t dim, “You two are weird.”

She’s pretty sure it used to bother El, how much Mike and Max fought. Max can’t help but wonder if they’d have gotten along better if she wasn’t in love with his girlfriend. Ex-girlfriend. Because she’d dumped him for good this time. Four months ago, apparently, though Mike was, until a few hours ago, under the impression it was temporary.

Max almost feels bad for him. Except she doesn’t. Apparently, he was a dick about the whole thing, so at least she has a solid reason not to.

“You love us,” Max scoffs. El may have broken up with Mike, but she’ll always love him in some way or another.

El’s expression softens, turns fond and sweet. She’s thinking about Mike, Max is sure, but the smile is still directed as her. Small victories. “I do,” she says quietly.

They order a pizza after that, and watch movies into the wee hours of the morning. By 3am Max’s throat is raw, and her stomach hurts from laughing (and too much pizza). It’s the most fun she’s had in a while. The Byers’ don’t visit as often as any of them would like.

Max isn’t even tired, but El’s head has been dropping onto her shoulder on and off for the past hour so she suggests they call it a night.

She knows that when the boys sleep over at each other’s houses they’ll take the floor, or the couch in the basement, anything but actually sharing a bed. As El wraps an arm around her waist and snuggles up with her under the blankets, Max takes a moment to wonder if that would be better or worse than this.

It always seemed so miserable to Max, how much boys have to limit themselves.  

But also…well, it might be easier sometimes. She wouldn’t have to deal with wanting things she shouldn’t want because El would be over there, and not right up in her space, hands warm and breath tickling Max’s ear. This is different than sitting thigh-to-thigh on the couch, it blurs the line more, and it’s the ambiguity that’s driving Max crazy.

She wasn’t tired before, but she’s wide-awake now.

Time creeps by strangely this late at night. Max isn’t sure how long she lays there, staring at the ceiling, trying to calm her pounding heart. El’s breath is steady, quiet, and her eyes are closed. Max is sure she’s asleep, she was so tired before.

Before she can stop herself her hand creeps up, brushes a strand of hair from El’s face.

Moonlit, she’s ethereal. There’s always been something otherworldly about El, with her big, dark eyes, always watching, boring holes into you with their intensity. Shadows play across her cheek, and Max tracks them for a while, absurdly jealous of moonlight.

She traces patterns on El’s forearm, the one resting on Max’s stomach, keeping her touch light so as not to wake her.

More time passes, and Max’s head feels heavy with sleep that won’t come. She’s groggy, leaning back but unable to keep her eyes closed.

She starts talking. Whispering. Remembering the times she read Wonder Woman comics to El until she fell asleep, and hoping, somewhere in her foggy brain, that it might work on herself too.

“You know… I always knew we’d be good friends. The second I heard your name I wanted to know you,” she murmurs, and draws a star on El’s wrist. “Didn’t know how badly I wanted until I saw you though. You were terrifying, and I loved it. And now…” Her eyes slide closed as she thinks. “You’re the best person I’ve ever met. You’re beautiful. Everything about you. And I love you…more than I should.” She sighs, sits in silence and cards her fingers through El’s hair. It’s getting so long.  

El’s hand closes around her wrist.

Max’s eyes fly open, and she stills, heart pounding. “Uh.” El’s eyes are open, looking up at her, she’s awake, she’s awake, oh fuck– “Um. Did—did I wake you up, I’m—sorry if I woke you—”

“It’s okay.” The corners of her mouth turn up, slow and careful, “I couldn’t sleep anyway.”

“Oh.” Is all Max can manage, staring down at El with wide eyes, waiting for her to…do something. Max’s palms are sweating. She doesn’t know what to expect.

El moves her hand, puts Max’s palm against her cheek and shuffles forward until they’re nose to nose.

“Oh.”

She tastes like toothpaste and kiwi lip balm, and kisses as sweetly as she smiles. Her hands end up in Max’s hair, fingers gentle but demanding, guiding her forward. If Max wasn’t already laying down, she’d need to be because her knees are jelly.

“Oh,” El echoes when she pulls back, laughter in her voice. She presses a chaste kiss to the corner of Max’s mouth, careful and deliberate. Then her expression softens, sobers. “I was jealous of you. At first. Didn’t…know what it was. Know why. So, I ignored you. And… I’m sorry.”

Max shakes her head, “Ancient history. It’s okay.”

“No, I,” El stops, furrows her brow, “You were so happy. Free. I wanted that. And then, then you helped me have that. So. Thank you.” She cups Max’s face, fingertips tracing along her cheekbone, and Max’s heart sings. “And I love you too.”

They kiss again, and Max decides that El sleeping on the floor would’ve been a terrible idea.

[lanajvmeson]

emerges frm a field of corn slinking in w a faux mink shrug dangling around my elbows n a strand of wheat between my teeth..... farmer eleganza.... hlo! my name’s nai. i am bt a humble ghoul arrived to haunt ur home. 23 n she/her pronouns n i live in manchester. fun fact my friend’s neighbour used to b harry styles PE teacher. i played delilah yrs ago as carlson young (n even cara delevingne at one point what the fk) which feels so weird n ancient to me nw bt i missed her a lot so decided to spruce her bk to life.... ANYWAY delilah’s pinterest is here n i’ll jst leap right into things without further ado

(NICOLA PELTZ, CIS-FEMALE) - Have you seen DELILAH ASTOR? LILAH is in HER JUNIOR year. The POLITICAL SCIENCE MAJOR is 21 years old & is a CAPRICORN. People say SHE is BEGUILING, BLUNT, CUNNING and APATHETIC. Rumors say they’re a member of CALLOWAY. I heard from the gossip blog that SHE WAS IN A REHABILITATION CENTRE IN SWITZERLAND INSTEAD OF DOING CHARITY WORK LIKE HER SOCIAL MEDIA CLAIMED.  (NAI. 23. GMT. SHE/HER.) 

HISTORY

their family is kind of modelled off the sedgwick family like old money n pretty dysfunctional bt all abt keeping up a seamless facade of perfection... with a pinch of the kennedy’s in there. her dad’s high up in politics n his dad before tht ws in politics n it’s just a long prestigious line of clones in expensive suits as far as delilah’s concerned. her dad i picture as like.... nate archibald’s grandfather in gossip girl.... personality wise.

for as long as she cn remember she’s found this cookie cutter white picket fence life boring. stifling. to delilah it’s like being hemmed in a stuffy room n forbidden frm opening a window. it’s all vry Rich People Problems i wnt lie bt <3 she feels everlastingly bored. All The Time. plus her family hs always been a focal point fr tabloids etc which doesn’t help this feeling of not rly Living but just being the focus of a spectator sport. they’re lowkey a bit of a household name so they get a bunch of scrutiny n......... well. new bullet point alert! cue a powerpoint transition

(self harm & depression tw) frm being young delilah always knew there ws sort of. a white noise inside her where everyone else saw a technicolour movie screen. it rly hit her at like 12 i’d say as she was jst coasting towards adolescence. it ws pretty obvious frm her behaviour i’d say bt her parents only became Aware it ws a problem when she stuck a fork into a socket n short circuited the power in the house. she got shocked unconscious n when she woke up she told the in house dr they’d called (to keep it under wraps frm outsiders) tht she just.... couldn’t feel anything. she’d been reading frankenstein (she’s always liked gothic literature) n thought it’d zap her to life like the monster

her parents got her on medication n figured that wld fix everything. they didn’t like to talk abt things and that was that. it wasn’t to be mentioned again

delilah’s parents r just very.... sterile. family is abt appearances. they’ll be all smiles n flowing conversation when ppl are around bt it feels like being an actress n reading frm a script. being a toy in a dollhouse

she had two siblings: an older sister named clara & a younger brother named elijah. clara ws always like.... the Dream daughter. did everything right. amazing grades. america’s sweetheart. LOVED by the press. did sm charity work. elijah was fine/kind of a slacker compared bt coasted by on athletic prowess (captain of the rowing team). delilah hs very much always been the anomaly in this idyllic line-up. middle child effect! altho having said tht she’s always ran w the popular crowd of her age group bc Rich + Pretty = Status. it’s all quite superficial n delilah’s attitude on the matter can b summed up w this photoset. having said tht there was Some merit in constantly being paraded around as “such a pretty thing” bc a few modelling agencies attempted to scout her bt delilah found that boring. she wants to b called brilliant not beautiful. her mother called this her “not playing to the advantages that god gave her”. with a tight-lipped smile and a “god forbid i use my brain”, delilah only disappointed her further <3

(drugs & ed tw) delilah gt pretty heavy into partying fr the sake of trying to Feel something. intense on the drugs front (coke n prescription pills). rarely eating. she got a silver broach of a swan tht she pins to most of her clothes n u can unscrew the swan’s neck n pull it out to reveal a little powder spoon. still wears this today. clara n delilah were always super close n clara wld cover fr her a bunch. making up lies n jst having her back to their parents if they ever asked where she was / she ws in trouble n needed to keep it under wraps. when delilah hd an article in a tabloid pretty mch like this one clara talked their parents dwn frm sending her to a rehabilitation centre in switzerland. they gt it pretty much scorched frm existence bt delilah kept a clipping bc honestly she thought it was funny hw pale her mother went abt it

(car accident & drunk driving & death tw) at a fancy benefit the astors were all attending among 4857925974 uppity families delilah wound up heading off w some of the rich kids n one thing lead to another n a couple of them gt arrested fr a coke scandal. delilah used her phone call to contact clara n fr once clara hd let loose a little n hd something to drink bt still drove to the station to bail delilah out n try n fix her mess bt.... skipped a red light n crashed. she died upon impact.

(hospitalisation & drugs & addiction tw) this made delilah spiral massively obviously.... she clung on by the skin of her teeth fr a while bt she rly was just getting quite out of control doing an extremely excessive amt of coke to get by at this point so her parents actually did.... end up shipping her off to switzerland for rehabilitation. they didn’t tell anyone this tho n as far as ppl were/are aware she was doing charity work with habitat for humanity in trinidad. her parents literally........... hired ppl to take photos of things there n a social media team posted them to her instagram account jst. the most elaborate lie.... it’s a lot.

delilah jst pretty much went along w whatever they said at the facility bt didn’t absorb any of it too much.... she did get sober there bt it was vry much bc she had no other choice rather than a want to......... she even pretended to “find god” while she ws there n memorised bible lines to recite w a coolly detached smile. in her head she ws probably thinking abt hw her mandated therapist cld gladly eat shit and she’d be happy to watch. it was just like.... everyone there was RLY hideously overpaid bt did they actually Care abt their work or patients? debatable. wasn’t the most healing experience thru delilah’s eyes bt... maybe it’d work better if she’d actually opened her mind to it bt anyway...... <3 cornelius fudge voice: she’s back. the dark lord.....

PERSONALITY:

nw tht her history is out of the way i’ll leap like a flea off a shaggy dog’s back into personality! aesthetically she almost ALWAYS wears white/cream. reminds me of the woman in white frm sharp objects. rarely she’ll dabble in silver or gold or like..... vry pale green bt.... always muted tones. usually white or cream. big white sunhats. white sunglasses. white pussybow blouses w a little white skirt n a pearl barrette in her hair. she even smokes white sobranie cigs tht r imports like it’s a lot she’s truly committed to the aesthetic.... paired w like. classic patent mary janes.... she tends to flutter around the place like a silk moth. likes lace too. hs a very put together image n even demeanour like she’s very lithe n graceful n drifts like a ghost which kind of contrasts w... who she is at her core bt in the astor family it’s all abt appearances <3 the only deviation from this is she sometimes wears dark blue mascara once in a blue moon n if ppl comment on this she’s like. idk what ur talking abt? glides away like a ghost in a haunted mansion n is never seen again.

very perceptive. incredibly observant. yrs of early life media training n being born frm politicians means she’s an excellent liar. she knows ppl n knows what makes them tick bt she’ll only use this when necessary. she isn’t a terrible person bt she knows how to b Very mean n will equip this as a weapon shd a situation call fr it. also more prone to lashing out since her sister......... she hs sometimes played chess games socially fr kicks

dark n biting sense of humour. rather frank abt things. VERY ruthless when scorned bt she isn’t particularly?? emotive abt it??? her bf cheated on her once n when he told her she slapped him rly hard in front of sm ppl he knew n then jst walked away. blocked him on literally everything. removed him frm the face of the earth as far as she ws concerned. had him blacklisted frm every event n told ppl they’d be cut too if they continued to associate w him. goodbye sir <3 u are the weakest link <3 needless to say he regretted it <3

very loyal to u until she isn’t. finds it very easy to cut ties if need be. once her trust is broken it is gooooone baby goone.... the trust is Gone. selective in who she cares abt

vry cavalier abt sex. she doesn’t sleep around hugely i dnt think??? bt when she does it isn’t often tht emotionally invested she’ll jst out of the blue very nonchalantly blow out a wisp of smoke n b like. so u want to fuck me then? cool. proceeds to get up as if she’s walking to leave n then looks bk n is like what do ur legs not work? follow me. n leads them somewhere

nothing rly.... moves her particularly. she isn’t very animated. it’s like she jst finds the entire world thoroughly unimpressive. it’s difficult to stimulate excitement from her. it’s like that hugh laurie quote where he realised he had depression bc “boredom is not an appropriate response to exploding cars”.

has a pet swan bk at home she’s named lilith inspired by satan’s offspring. lilith bites ppl if they get close n is honestly an abomination of a bird. delilah finds her funny n throws her bits of croissants sometimes bt even she isn’t immune to her pecks. in some ways they’re similar...... hv a graceful surface appearance / aesthetic bt a darker attitude beneath the surface

WANTED CONNECTIONS:

exes: the ex bf tht cheated on her n she got blacklisted from 94872347 social events cld be a fun thing to explore..... delilah wld be EXTREMELY cold towards him n honestly want him dead. wouldn’t show any shred of caring abt him at all she’s very gd at stoning her emotions n keeping them inside. hasn’t cried since her sister died as an example of how..... withdrawn she is from confessing her innermost thoughts n desires. maybe an ex bf before tht that she rly didn’t take seriously at all..... typically she just isn’t interested/invested in romance she’s vry apathetic abt it all

party friends: those tht run in similar rich kid circles tht she would have smuggled off with at fancy events so they could let loose.......... ppl tht r completely her opposite who she finds interesting bc they represent everything she always wanted outside the oppression of her strict regiment family....... mutual bad influences tht are heavy into drugs n always enable each other...... u name it!

hook-ups: she doesn’t have a HUGE amt of these bt.... maybe a select handful.... some she wld have hooked up w once n never again n just been like >_> if they implied they shd as if it was preposterous n she was thoroughly over it.... some maybe she’d find interesting enough to extend beyond tht...... none she’d invest in if she cld help it altho? maybe someone as an exception to tht rule cld be fun

friends of her sister: (death tw) clara was universally well liked for being rly sweet n well intentioned n she attended yates only two yrs delilah’s senior so she might have some connections here still somehow??? cld be angsty to work with

i won’t lie i’m rly hungry as i write up these wcs so my brain’s going blank n i’m gna have to sprint to get some toast bt <3 roommates, enemies, competitive friendships, resentments, angst, chaos, drama, strife, u name it n i am dwn!!!! hits post n takes off galloping dwnstairs

[szopenhauer]

Do you like Chanel purses? no

When was the last time you had Pepsi? ages ago

Do you know anyone with exaggeratedly big muscles? not personally

What is your favorite endangered animall? elephant

Can you name someone with the same last name as you? my parents

Who was the last person to scream your name? ...

By the way, that wasnt meant to be perverted.  too late  I have no idea why I thought about that - no one ever screamed my name this way and nobody ever will :x

Do you struggle to articulate your thoughts and feelings? it seems Name something that you are doing tonight. nothing and I realized that I don’t want to go to sleep more than ever before, I just don’t want to wake up tomorrow and yet I’m scared of dying (suffering)

Do you like the smell of a barbecue? nah

Would you date an 18 year old at the age you are now? too young for me Are you more likely to show affection through your words or your actions? words I guess Do you have an easy time falling asleep? I wish Are you a crier? crybaby Do you like to wear makeup? no Do you have a high tolerance for people? pfft Do you like your bed? why not How many times have you been to the ER? few

Are you wearing shorts? basically never

Do you eat randomly, just whenever the hell you want? ...

Did you have trouble getting up this morning? yeah What’s a few things that automatically make you go, “Awww”? cute little dogs Do you have soft hands? Do you like holding hands? do I? I like to hold hands tho What’s your opinion on perfumes that are REALLY expensive?  dumb, I hate perfume but expensive - that is ridiculous! Have you ever really hated a teacher and practically made it clear you did? Conceal, don't feel, don't let them know. Are you a little bit cautious around horses? Do they scare you a bit? I’m just a cautious person in general  If you could live next door to ANYONE, who would you want to live beside? love of my life, I mean - we can live together but for now it would be cool if we were neighbors at least, you know what I mean? Do you think your friends are pretty? Do your friends think your pretty? what friends... Are you currently worried about your parents finding out about something? maybe mom about that one particular thing that starts on S and ends with X

What is your opinion on air pollution? less cars!

Were you forced to read ‘The Odyssey’ in high school? from what I remember

Who was the last person to come visit you? M.

When was the last time you shaved your legs? recently

Do you own any superhero shirts? nope

What is your opinion on the “Team Edward/Team Jacob” shirts? I dislike Twilight

If you had to teach a class, what would you teach? if I really had to then art

How did your parents meet each other? personal

What profession do you think is the most under-appreciated? garbage collectors, those who clean the streets or hospitals, postmen etc.

Have you ever drawn on someone while they were sleeping? don’t do that

Does time really heal all wounds? Or is that just a trivial saying? trivial saying

Where is your favorite place to take a nap? I don’t do naps but my bed

Would you rather lose all your old memories, or never be able to make new ones? not be able to make new

Have you ever swerved off the road to avoid hitting an animal? I don’t drive

What’s a tradition you hope never dies out? it’s a secret

Do you have any exes you’d consider dating again? I’m dating my ex 

Have you ever went a year without getting your hair cut? yes Do you think you could go a week without sugar? without sweets? I already do, I don’t even drink tea with sugar  Would you be willing to go one day each week without meat? absolutely Do you feel comfortable telling people how much you weigh? whatever Are you any good at sewing? I know basics Have you looked at any old photos of yourself lately? this year Do you carry a calculator around with you everywhere? I don’t need it that often Do you like to plan things out or just go with the flow? plan but not strictly

Do you garden at all? If so, what types of things do you grow? I help my parents which I find pointless because there is always much more work than results Do you consider cooking to be an art? when done right How many pairs of sunglasses do you own? too many considering that I barely wear ‘em ^^” Are you a fast or slow reader? fast Would you ever spend $500 on concert tickets? hell no Do you know anyone who looks like you? there was a gal who was similar to me on tumblr but younger than me, I lost contact with her  Do you get nervous when you go to the doctor?  yeah :( Are you a short tempered person? oh well...

Does it take a lot to gross you out? I’m easily grossed out  Last time you seen an ocean: never saw ocean in person Do you collect sea shells? not as much as I used to

What is one change you need to make in your life this month? lets not talk about it, ok?

Would you have sex with the last person you texted? done Are you planning on kissing anyone tomorrow evening? she’s gonna be busy working Do you require a lot of private time? yasss Have you ever told a guy you were a lesbian to get him to leave you alone? it’s because I’m a lesbian lmfao If you have a favorite television show, who’s your favorite character? in my most fav shows plot was more important to me than characters tbh, it’s hard to explain, I hope I’m not the only one who thinks this way haha but in Buffy I didn’t like Xander and Angel was annoying even though he was necessary, I wasn’t a fan of Faith and didn’t understand Riley existence in the universe, also Dawn changed a lot for worse but I swallowed it with patience, in Call the midwife I felt crappy when they took Chummy and Jenny away, I didn’t watch newest episodes so I have no idea who Lucille and Valerie are, I horribly miss sister Evangelina :(

What’s the best part about flying? don’t ask me, I’ve never been on a plane

Did you ever watch Sailor Moon? fragments

Chocolate or Vanilla ice cream? vanilla

If you had to get glasses would you wear contacts? I’d prefer glasses

Are mac’s really better than PC’s? I’m a PC gal

D0 y0u l1k3 t0 t@lk l1k3 a 5c3n3 k1d? *cringe*

When you were red and green clothes do you feel like a Christmas Tree? lol

What TV show has the best theme song? hard choice

New Year’s Plans? I don’t plan to live that long

Would you agree that Sex and The City is the best show ever? no way, I didn’t even care enough to watch one episode of it

Do you call your friends with red hair “ranga’s”? wtf

Have you ever been surfing? me? surfing? r u kidding?

Would you feel funny if you kissed somebody of the same sex? excuse me, I’m into women exclusively

Name a thing in your room that other probably don’t have in theirs: me ha!

What’s your best jacket like? comfy :3

What’s something you can cook or bake like a pro? nothing 

If you could pull off any hairstyle, what would it look like? I have couple of ideas ;)

What is the worst thing that happened so far today? my failed appointment as I didn’t get any answers nor help for my heart condition and allergies and that was the last attempt, I have no other ways of fixing things to survive next months, my life;s officially over, I only have suffering and fear left, I’m a burden and I want to kill myself sooner than food or cardiac arrest 

Did that ruin your day? it ruined my LIFE

What’s something good you’re looking forward to? sweet relieve of death?...

What’s something that you think is really cute?

*wish it was mine

Describe your feet: eww, why, better not

If you see somebody crying, do you start crying too? depends

How do you like your hoodies? oversized, without kangaroo pocket in front and/or a zipper, yuk

Is having to pee really badly worse than being really thirsty? it is to me at least

Were you a cute baby? I was a red haired potato

Are you talking to anybody right now? online 

How tall are your tallest socks? I kept my rainbow knee high socks but I don’t use them anymore

Are you waiting for a phone call? at night?...

Do you look forward to swimsuit season, or get really nervous? I was skipping swimsuit seasons for over 10 years until this summer - I bought the cheapest and went to stand/walk in the water and sit on a beach despite my insecurities 

If you could live for a year with any foreign family, where would you go? don’t wanna, scary

What do you wish people would pay you to do? browse the internet XD

Do you take good pictures? I try

Should you be doing something else right now? wash my hair, drink water, commit suicide - who knows

Did that question make you nervous? that question made me sad 

Why don’t girls like porn? some enjoy it 

Tell me a memory of this summer: this summer is all about romantic love, illnesses and nostalgy

Do you think it’s pretty when 100s of balloons are let loose into the sky? a waste but still pretty, sorry love, I know you’d be irritated so don’t worry - I will never do smth like that to ya

[sparklebitch]

Dan and Phil’s Impact

Okay this is going to be long and rambling because I’m trying to type it on my phone in the car and my thoughts are all over the freaking place and I don’t blame you if you don’t want to read the whole thing I’ll put a tldr at the end lmao.

So first of all I’ve been watching Dan and Phil since like? 2014~ And for a while there wasn’t a minute that went by where I didn’t think about them. Their videos got me through so much shit in my life. Even dumb video game videos were like my reprieve from real life. And yeah a lot of stuff was super cringy and I was definitely borderline one of those creepy people that wanted to know everything about their lives (obvs not anymore lol) but that aside they were such good freaking influences on me? I looked up to them so much and, sure, I have a lot of role-model-worthy people in my life, but no one like them.

Everyone around me is so aggressively religious (although a lot of them are totally cool about it and not bad peoples !! But the rest of them are total dicks) and I felt like I couldn’t... question myself I guess? About literally anything. I felt like I couldn’t question religion, sexuality, the things I liked, what I wanted to do, who I wanted to be. It was like everyone’s lives revolved around church stuff and people were basically born knowing what they were going to do? And there I was, an awkward, sexually confused, homeschooler who had 2 friends that she wasn’t even that close to. I felt like I was the only one in the world like this. Everyone seemed to have a place in the world, except me. I often thought that maybe it was a mistake that I was in this world, that there was some cosmic screw up and that I was never meant to be born. I felt incomplete and it was so confusing and horrible. I was sure that that feeling was never going to go away. I had no one to talk to, no one to explain to me that it was okay to screw up. It wasn’t the end of the world to question things or yourself, everything was going to be okay. All I wanted in my life was for someone to tell me that.

Then I found Dan and Phil. And yeah, they’re two British boys on the internet that will never know who I am. But that’s okay. They don’t need to know me to have an impact on my life. I mean, who’s ever been impacted by a song? A movie, a book, an actor, an artist? The human race is always searching for someone or something to look up to. Religion, famous people, a father figure, a friend. Someone. And that’s what they were to me.

People didn’t understand what it was that I liked about them. And, if I’m being 100% honest, I guess I didn’t really know either. Sure, they’re funny, and the chemistry between the two is very compelling but there was just something about them that spoke to me. I loved them. More than I had loved anything in my life. I looked up to them, and listened to the things they said, listened to the things they believed it. Through them I discovered so many of the things that I love in my life. I started writing and drawing because of them! It’s crazy to think that I am the person that I am today because of them. I can’t imagine what I would be like if I hadn’t watched their videos.

There’s a lot of uncertainty in my life right now as I’m finishing up getting my General Associates and I’m in the process of starting a daycare with my older sister. It’s a lot for me to process because for the longest time all I wanted to do was get away from here. I wanted to go somewhere and be someone new. And it wasn’t until recently that I realized that’s not what I actually wanted. I love my family and my friends, I love living here (aside from the bigots but they’re everywhere so there’s no escaping them). What I really, truly wanted was to be myself. It wasn’t my family and this town that I wanted to get away from, it was the me that I was pretending to be. I just wanted to be myself, that was all. I didn’t care if it was in a big town with new people, i just wanted people to know me. I wish I knew this back then, then maybe I wouldn’t have gone into a tailspin when I was getting ready for college but hindsight I guess ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

When I finished high school it was like I was paralyzed. I didn’t know how to make decisions for myself or do anything on my own. All I knew was that I was not straight, seemingly surrounded by homophobes, and I was very very tired. So, toward the end of summer my mom pushed me enrolled me at a community college near home (which I am grateful for lol) and then I was going to transfer to a university after 2 years. Things started to feel better after that. Around that time I also started taking medication for depression and anxiety and it has only completely changed my life. No longer am I the super quiet painfully awkward person who’s so afraid to say something wrong that she instead stays silent, not telling anyone about my interests or passions in fear that I would be ridiculed, hiding core parts of me while the whole world passes by. I was talking and making jokes, I wasn’t constantly terrified to talk to people or to even simply leave my house to go places. Things were better. I was happier!

But as the time for me to transfer to a university drew near that paralyzing feeling crept back into my skin. I hated my classes. I hated college. I was suddenly plunged back into the world of endlessly scrolling through social media and watching the same shows on tv over and over, isolating myself from everyone and everything trying to ignore the world around me. I felt like everything was hopeless again. I was only occasionally watching dan and Phil videos at this time, having very reluctantly grown away from them (it was a sad day when I realized that I didn’t care if I skipped a video or two. I literally cried that day). But I was bored then, so I started watching their videos again. This was around the time that dan posted his video on depression (that’s a while other long ass post I could make but probably won’t because I’m already tired of typing) and i damn near called my mom (even though she was just downstairs) on the spot to tell her what I was feeling. Hearing that there was someone else out there that felt like I was was enough. But not only that, he explained that recovery is not a straight road. There are twists and turns, there are setbacks. It’s not like I was going to get better and everything was going to magically be awesome all the time. Some stuff was going to suck. I was going to go through shitty times and that was okay.

Because of him, I ended up going back to the doctor and explaining that my meds weren’t working anymore, and I got it taken care of. I feel so much fucking better now than I did before, and I know that it’s okay if I don’t always feel this way. I told my parents that I didn’t want to go to a university and they were okay with it, provided that I finished my 2 year degree at the community college. And while some things still suck, and I’m still worried about my future and whether or not I’m going to meet someone and fall in love, things are absolutely positively 1000% better than they have ever been. And a lot of it is thanks to them. Obviously it was me who actually took the steps I needed to to get here, but it was because of their being my role model that I had the courage to get where I am today.

Dan and Phil have such a unique platform and following. They could say jump and so many people would (metaphorically ofc) jump off the cliff, me included. But they don’t do that. They use their fame to positively impact people. They use their platform to encourage people and talk about important things in life. They share things about their lives in the hopes that it will help even 1 person out there... and I’m not the only one who they’ve positively impacted. The number of people that owe everything to them is crazy.

Okay so now I’m going to go a little bit into labels. (Not too much tho I’m seriously tired of typing lol). Dan talked about them a lot in his video. An entire freaking chapter of it was dedicated to labels. When I was younger I knew that I liked girls. I liked boys too though, so I just shrugged it off as Really wanting to be friends with girls. I didn’t know what the word gay meant until I was like 12 because I was a very sheltered child. My parents never talked about it and the only time I ever remember hearing the word before then was when one of my siblings called another sibling “gay” at the dinner table. The only thing I knew about the word was that my parents Did Not Like it. While I eventually stumbled onto the internet and learned a Lot of things, and a lot about labels, I became overwhelmed. There were so many words with so many meanings, and lot of times people didn’t agree on what the literal definition was. (Like bisexual meaning Only men+women vs. just like.. more than just 2+ genders) So for a long time I identified as pansexual because.. I didn’t know what to do. And based on my experiences on the internet, being bi was basically saying that you were excluding people. Idk it was fucked. The label ‘pan’ didn’t really feel like it fit me either, but it worked for the time being.

Dan’s comments on labels really got me thinking. I don’t think I’m a lesbian, but I don’t really know about bisexual either. When he said that he loved to use the word queer it just.. fucking hit me in the chest like a ton of bricks. I literally couldn’t breath. And it’s not like I’ve never heard people use the word queer. Tons of people identify as queer. But it was just something about the way he explained it? And maybe it was just the fact that it was him explaining it because, as I said before, I look up to him. He has a huge impact on my life. Saying queer gives me comfort. It feels less... restrictive I guess, for a lack of better words. I don’t know if this will be /the/ label for me, but that’s not the point. There doesn’t have to be a label for me. I, no one, should have to be pressured into finding a label so that other people have something to call you?? Fuck labels. Fuck people who pressure you into picking one. You be you.

So, in conclusion (honestly I feel like this has all been so incoherent I apologize) I don’t want to hide forever. I don’t. I hope that some day I can have even a fraction of the courage that Dan has to tell the people that I care about who I truly am. And the first step is telling someone.

So, to everyone who sees it here, most of which probably know or don’t care,

I’m bisexual, bitch. And I use the word queer.

It took so much fucking courage for dan to post that video and I have crazy amounts of respect for that man. I’ve said it a thousand times already, but I’m going to say it again. I’m so. Fucking. Proud of him. And I know he’s probably going to get thousands of stories like this one (if he hasn’t gotten that many already) but I’m going to tag him anyway. @danielhowell , you’ve changed my life. You’ve changed millions of people’s of lives for the better. Thank you. Thank you for everything you’ve done.

Tldr; dnp mean everything to me, even though I’ve grown away from them, they have been and always be a big part of who I am and i am so fucking proud of Dan.

[mikumutual]

answers aa themed questions nobody asked because i’m cool and sexy

also i havent played the 5th or 6th games so

YOUR FAVOURITE…? 1. Favourite Ace Attorney game? honestly? phoenix wright ace attorney! everything’s fresh, there aren’t many weak characters, and the plot is remarkable (especially the fifth case). the whole trilogy is really good as one unit though 2. Favourite case? 1-4, 1-5, 2-4, and 3-5 are tied lol, i can’t make a decision to save my life. 2-1 is really really funny tho 3. Favourite defendant? as a defendant, lana skye. as a person, edgeworth 4. Favourite prosecutor? as a prosecutor, franziska von karma. as a person, edgeworth 5. Favourite ship? wrightworth obviously... ive probably put more thought into them over the last 3 years than any other ship 6. Favourite victim? probably mia fey or gregory edgeworth... but for non-relevant victims, neil marshall :( 7. Favourite murderer? shelly de killer, i LOVE that guy. but dee vasquez was very cool as well 8. Favourite assistant? maya fey!!!!!!!!!! but i like kay faraday a lot too (im so sorry ema) 9. Favourite witness? adrian andrews... or maybe iris? i mean i didn’t like iris but god what a person 10. Favourite quote? “It doesn't matter how many underhanded tricks a person uses... The truth will always find a way to make itself known. The only thing we can do is to fight with the knowledge we hold and everything we have. Erasing the paradoxes one by one... It's never easy... We claw and scratch for every inch. But we will always eventually reach that one single truth. This I promise you.” - Miles Edgeworth i made this one of my senior quotes :]

YOUR LEAST FAVOURITE…? 11. Least favourite Ace Attorney game? uh fucking apollo justice. literally what the hell was that 12. Least favourite case? turnabout visitor wasn’t very strong? i guess it’s fine as an intro, but it’s also wonky with the timeline of aai 13. Least favourite defendant? max galactica. he’s better in the anime though 14. Least favourite prosecutor? manfred von karma, obviously. i like every other prosecutor (who i know of) though, even winston payne is pretty funny in hindsight 15. Least favourite ship? “miles edgeworth/female oc”. there are a lot of bad ships though, mostly involving phoenix & his assistants. dont do that please 16. Least favourite victim? zak gramarye for kickstarting that shitty, shitty game 17. Least favourite murderer? again mvk... but also fucking frank sahwit LMAO 18. Least favourite assistant? i guess trucy 19. Least favourite witness? fuck everyone from turnabout big top unless it was the anime episode 20. Least favourite memory of Ace Attorney? repeatedly trying and failing to download the emulator for aai2 hbjsjhdb i eventually got it but someone had to send me the download fully pre-patched and i felt kinda useless DO YOU PREFER…? 21. Phoenix Wright or Apollo Justice? phoenix wright. fuck that “GOTCHA!” mechanic jesus christ 22. Maya Fey or Trucy Wright? maya fey. nothing personal against trucy but i just dont like aj hbjsdjhsdb also maya is really sweet and fun and she has the best sprites. she seems like she’d be a good friend, it’s too bad that she doesn’t have the time for them as a spirit medium and all :( if maya ema and kay got to hang out together itd be wild 23. Investigations or trials? trials are easier in my opinion because investigations have several things you could be doing without such a linear style, so if you miss something, you won’t really know until you wander around forever 24. College Phoenix or Hobo Phoenix? college feenie!!!!! he’s like trilogy feenie but more emotional and less witty. i like to pretend that hobo phoenix doesnt exist 25. Klavier Gavin or Kristoph Gavin? who would say kristoph 26. Ace Attorney or Ace Attorney Investigations? ace attorney but only because phoenix is in it lmao. im actually rewatching a playthrough of aai now, and playing aai2 at the same time, so while it is on the mind, i feel like the cases characters and mechanics - while loved - don’t hold up to the OGs 27. Apollo’s perceive, Phoenix’s magatama, or Athena’s Mood Matrix? i actually kinda like the mood matrix more than anything because it has a really good UI and the magatama is kinda grating. but FUCK the gotcha mechanic it is SO FUCKING STUPID and IMPOSSIBLE TO USE.  where is logic chess 28. Ace Attorney trilogy or Apollo Justice and Dual Destinies? you already know my answer to this one 29. 3D models or sprites? i do like the 3d models a lot but i like the original sprites more! imo original pixel sprites > 3D models > HD sprites. mostly bc the hd sprites are garbage (see here, here, and here) 30. Ema Skye as she is in Rise from the Ashes or Ema Skye as she is in Apollo Justice? rfta !!!!!! shes actually really nice as an assistant, esp considering the fact that we actually see her interact with her sister, which is something maya didn’t have very often. also her random appearance in aai was well appreciated by me

MISCELLANEOUS 31. Did you like what they did to Phoenix in Apollo Justice?

NO I AM SO FUCKING MAD WHY WOULD THEY DO THAT TO HIM ISN’T HE A LAWYER WHY COULD HE NOT JUST DEFEND HIMSELF FROM THE FACT THAT HE “FORGED EVIDENCE” IT WASN’T EVEN HIS IN THE FIRST PLACE SOMEBODY ELSE FORGED IT AND HE DIDN’T KNOW THAT, MANFRED VON KARMA GOT AWAY WITH A FUCKLOAD OF NONSENSE AND SO DOES EVERY OTHER LAWYER SO WHY IS IT THAT PHOENIX CAN SURVIVE EATING A POISONED GLASS NECKLACE AND GETTING HIT OVER THE HEAD WITH A FIRE EXTINGUISHER AND FALLING FROM A BURNING BRIDGE INTO A RUSHING RAVINE AND BEING HIT BY A CAR BUT HE CAN’T FUCKING DEFEND HIMSELF LIKE HE DOES IN EVERY OTHER CASE BECAUSE THAT’S THE POINT OF THE GAME AND ALSO HIS ENTIRE CHARACTER

32. Your opinion on Dai Gyakuten Saiban? haven’t played it! it looks pretty cool though

33. Do you think Dai Gyakuten Saiban and/or Miles Edgeworth Investigations 2 will get localised to the West? doubt it, since the creators have said that it won’t be. but the fan translations are pretty good, so i think it’s okay

34. Do you think Miles Edgeworth should get another Investigation-game or do you think another character deserves a spin-off? i mean he already has two, so i guess he doesn’t need another? like i love edgeworth but he’s not as fun without phoenix around. ngl i would play a franziska game. or a maya game, or any spinoff revolving around a side character. hell i’d play hotti game if it meant it took place in the trilogy era

35. Opinion on the soundtrack of the Ace Attorney-franchise? REALLY good. really really good. i love how each game of the trilogy has different composers but each track has the same theme and feel!!!

36. Do you like where the franchise is heading or did you prefer the atmosphere in the original trilogy? seriously absolutely completely prefer the trilogy. i’m sorry but the rush of youth and trust is way, way more enjoyable than whatever “i’m 35 and therefore middle aged” nonsense is happening in the 2020s

37. Capcom suddenly announces that Phoenix will no longer appear in the Ace Attorney franchise! Your reaction? He’s been replaced by Penny Nichols. Fuck you.

38. Capcom suddenly announces that the Ace Attorney franchise has ended for good! Your reaction? it was me i ended it

39. Would you like there to be another Ace Attorney/Professor Layton crossover game? i didnt play it but i really like the idea!!!!!! aa crossover games are really funny to me, i mean have you seen edgeworth in project x zone 2, lmao

40. Would you like an Ace Attorney anime? we have one now! honestly i don’t think it did a very good job of representing the cases, but it did do a good character remix of turnabout big top so that they’re not creepy anymore. they also did a really good job with the anime-specific cases, like the one on the train! it feels a lot better paced when it’s intended for that medium rather than just adapted.  also the childhood episodes made me cry

41. Opinion on anime cutscenes in Ace Attorney? like in 5 and 6? mm, the art style is kinda weird, and i don’t really like the voices, but i guess not everything can be pachinko and prozd

42. Would you want to play an Ace Attorney game where you take on the prosecutor’s role? YEAH ACTUALLY!!!!!! it might be kinda weird being on the right side of the screen though lmao

43. Do you like having DLC in Ace Attorney-games? uhhh i hate having to buy extra things, but i’ll admit that they are pretty funny

44. Opinion on Lamiroir’s storyline? i only played aj so if shes in other games idk but i thought she was fine

45. One thing you think the Ace Attorney games can improve on? stop having creepy characters please. also jesus christ if phoenix and edgeworth arent wearing rings in aa7 i will become the ceo of capcom myself

46. Capcom suddenly announces an Ace Attorney movie! Would you like it to be based on an already existing case or would you like an all new storyline? i mean the musical did a pretty good job of adapting existing cases, so it might as well be new. it would be kinda hard to balance the games’ timeline & character development without being repetitive or an au

47. Capcom suddenly announces an Ace Attorney movie! Would you prefer it being live-action, 3D animated or 2D animated? stylized 2D animation, probably? i would want it to feel more like into the spiderverse than an anime, though. in my dream ace attorney movie, they’d just need a high art budget, several plausible deniability wrightworth scenes, and prozd to voice edgeworth

48. If there could be an Ace Attorney crossover with whatever franchise you’d like, which one would you choose? (Does not need to be a video-game franchise) your turn to die is probably closest in characterization, although its premise is more “locked in a room” than the open-world investigation of aa

49. Opinion on recurring witnesses? (Wendy Oldbag, Lotta Hart, Larry Butz, etc.) honestly, i like them a lot! i don’t know why people hate them so much - i mean, i know lotta lied, and wendy is a horrible old flirt, and larry just kinda sucks all around. but they’re also pretty funny to have around! larry is a constant comic relief who reminds you how much better nick & edgey are in comparison, lotta is likeable as a general character (like in 2-4, although yeah, not remarkable), and wendy oldbag is really funny. she’s so fucking funny. none of you appreciate wendy oldbag’s quirks and you are SLEEPING ON IT!!!!!!!!!!!!

50. Do you think Dual Destinies deserved its M-rating? no idea, holy shit, it got an m-rating? i mean every game before it has had blood violence and very mild swearing, and since DD probably doesnt have anything too sexually risqué, i doubt it deserves a rating any harsher than the rest of the series

okay thanks thats all

[petri808]

The Wishing Well

Whew, I made it lol.  This is my story for the awesome @nalufever for the Nalu server’s secret Valentine’s Exchange.  LoL we had each other!  Omg, I hope you like it, I was trying to come up with a story around the idea we once talked about.  It ended up being a fluffy short story lol.  Okie here we go.

“Miss Lucy!” the little girl waves her hand excitedly from across the room.  “Miss, Miss, Miss!”

“Yes, Wendy?” the teacher’s aide walks up to the table and kneels, “are you finished with your drawing?” Nodding her head with a small blush upon her cheeks, the child holds her drawing up for Lucy to see.  “That’s wonderful Wendy!  Is that your cat?  But why is it blue?”

Wendy smiles wide, “name’s Happy!  Don’ know why he blue tho but it’s cute!”

“Yes,” Lucy chuckles, eyes brimming with delight, “he’s very cute!”  

Content with the response, Wendy goes back to doodling a new cartoon while the teachers aid floats around the room checking on other students.  Lucy loved this part time job even though it wasn’t quite in the field she was studying for, the credit still counted, the pay was decent, and not to mention the students were adorable most of the time.  Of course, there were a few that could be a handful, but nothing the bubbly 22 yr old blonde couldn’t handle and besides, the teacher Mirajane was also a blessing to work with.

Storytime was probably Lucy’s favorite part of the day.  Books had always been her sanctum even from a young age and to impart that same love into these children was like paying it forward for the new generation.  They would gather round her with their snacks, the eager little faces and once a week she even delighted them with original little stories she would create just for them.  Filled with characters like Princesses and Dragons, of mythical elves and other magical creatures, even using their names mixed in to make it come alive for the awestruck youngsters.

Lucy smiles from her desk, this school year was shaping up to be a great one.

Across town at Magnolia University, a young man hurries out of class.  Checking his phone, he’s got 30 minutes to get to the primary school and pick up his sister, but traffic is often a pain at this hour.  His sister-in-law Mavis usually picked Wendy up but today she had an appointment leaving Natsu to rush.  It’s been a struggle for the 24-year-old, being thrust into the role of guardian at the age of 20, to drop out of college and take time off to raise a 2-year-old.  Not that it mattered, there was no way he was going to allow Wendy to be sent to a foster home after their parents died.  It wasn’t her fault tragedy struck and left her an orphan, so he was going to lavish that little girl with all the love and affection their parents would have given her.

He thrums his fingers on the steering wheel, as the car slowly crawled its way towards the front of the school.  The line of parents patiently waiting to pick up kids was pretty typical, however annoying it may be, but a requirement for the students in kindergarten and first grades for release at the end of the day.  Teachers and security waited with the children, handing them off as each car pulled up.  Natsu smiles when he finally sees the tell-tale blue hair of Wendy bouncing as she waves to him.

“How was your day at school Wendy?” popping the question as the first grader buckled herself in to her booster.  

With a click and a bubbly response, “lots’a fun!  We drew and Ms. Lucy read us a story!  Ms. Lucy always has awesomest stories to tell!  Yuck, then Mrs. Dreyar gave us reading to do.”  

Natsu chuckles, side-eying through the rearview, “What’s with the pouty face?  I thought you like reading?”

“Not for homework.  I wanna read for fun!”

That only makes him laugh harder, “tell ya what, how about we get some ice cream at the mall, then I’ll read with you, sound better?”

Wendy’s face lights up, “Yay!  Ice Cream!”

“Kozmic Cones it is!”

On the opposite side of the mall nestled near the food court, Faeries Café was a popular little hangout.  Good food that even a college kid could afford drew them in at all hours of the day. Lucy was no exception and today was her weekly meet up with her best friend Levy McGarden for coffee.  It had become a routine ever since they’d finished their undergraduate programs and moved on to graduate work, she in the field of English Lit while Levy focused on Ancient Linguistics.  Between classes and working jobs they rarely had much time anymore to hang out.  

“How are things going with Gajeel,” the blonde stirred at the slowly warming coffee, “did you guys pick a date for the wedding yet?”

“He said not until after I graduate, which is only one more semester, so I agreed.”

Lucy leans onto her propped hand with a light smile, “You’re so lucky you found someone already Lev, I’m really happy for you two.”

“Aww, Lu you’ll find someone,” the bluenette reaches over the table and grabs her friend’s free hand, squeezing it before retracting back into her seat, “and I bet it’ll happen when you least expect it to.”

But the blonde just sighs, “Doubt it, I’m so busy I don’t have time to meet anyone unless they are under the age of 7,” chuckling lightly, “and no one in my college classes are very interesting to me.”

“You haven’t dated anyone since him that I can recall.”  Levy taps her chin, “maybe it’s not that you can’t but won’t look at anyone else.”

“What are you my psychiatrist now?!”  teasing at her friend.  “I’m fine, really, not like I don’t have enough on my plate to deal with, right? And as for my ex,” Lucy shrugs her shoulders, “we lost touch in college…”

The girls spend about an hour chatting and catching up, planning that upcoming weekend when another friend will be dropping by town.  Cana Alberona was never one to stay still for very long but luckily her job in fashion fit her personality well, jet setting around to photograph models and actors for Sorcerer’s Magazine.  She was so different in personality from the other two girls and yet the trio were inseparable in high school.  It wasn’t really their thing, but for Cana, hitting a bar or club was definitely going to be on the agenda.

Which was fine, she guessed, nothing wrong with hanging out with a couple of girlfriends at a bar.  Hopefully no one bothers us….  Ugh, but some guy always does!  As she walked away from the café, Lucy hangs her head wondering if her love life would always be a struggle.  She was sick and tired of even trying to meet guys when it usually turned out they only wanted her, sighing, for my assets….  It wasn’t her fault she was born with these curves, even thought about getting a reduction one day just so she didn’t have to deal with them anymore.  

There had only been one serious relationship in her life and while the guy definitely loved her body, Lucy knew it wasn’t the reason he’d asked her out in the first place.  Back then surrounded by so many friends, she’d never cared much about having boyfriends or being in relationships but funny how things change and now 5 years later, it was kind of lonely.  

She sees the wishing well a few feet away, absent mindedly pulling out a coin as she walked towards it. It was such a silly thing to make a wish and throw away a perfectly good quarter but well, flicking the shiny metal into the water, what could it hurt, right?  To have someone like him back in her life again, maybe the false smiles she wore would finally be real.

“Ms. LUCY!!!”

“Wendy?”  The young blonde turns around to the voice of her student, semi-surprised though this was a mall and all, just in time to have the little girl hugging to her legs.  “Wendy, what a nice surprise to see you here!” Lucy hugs the girl back, “but who are you with sweetie?”

The little girl, with eyes practically shining, bounces on her feet pointing behind her, “my brother gots me ice cream.”

“Your broth…” As she follows Wendy finger, Lucy cannot believe what she’s seeing.  “N-Natsu!” a light gasp as her hands fly up to her mouth and moisture clouds her vision.  “Oh my god! I-Is it really you?”  

Sporting the trade mark goofy grin that she knew better than most plastered on his face, “Yeah it’s me, heya Lucy,” scratching his head, “Didn’t realize you were the teacher she always talks about.  How ya been?”

Tears trickle down her cheeks and before she can stop them, her feet carry her towards him, hands flying into fists.  In that moment Lucy’s surroundings fade away and all she can see is Natsu, standing there in the flesh.  No Wendy, no shoppers, just him.  “Why!?” She beats at his chest, “no calls, no texts, no goodbye!  Four years! Y-you just left me hanging how could you Natsu!”  

“Luce…” he had no idea what he could say to the sobbing woman in his arms to slow her tears, grabbing her hands to stop their fury but keeping them held tightly to his chest. She was right, everything she said was the truth.  Natsu was an asshole for not making the effort to contact her as soon as he could, and he knew that.  So, he did the only thing he could and held her quietly, whispering soft apologizes and hoping it would be enough to soothe the pain he never knew she had held onto.        

Eventually Lucy slumps against him, liquid still flowing but her sobs withering into lighter exhalations. “I’m sorry,” her voice strained and muffled, “I didn’t mean to break down like that.”

“No,” Natsu pulls her head against his shoulder, cradling the back of her head, “don’t be sorry, I should have reached out to you too it’s just that…”

“I know about your parents….  I ran into Gray a couple years ago and he told me that’s what happened.”  Lucy pushes away just enough to look up at the taller man. “Natsu I would have been there for you if you’d have let me, you didn’t have to do it all alone.”

“I know Luce…. We…”

A meek voice breaks through the din, “I-Is Ms. Lucy okay?”

“Oh my!” Lucy pushes away and drops to her knees beside the little girl, followed quickly by the elder brother.  Still wiping away the streaks of salty liquid, Lucy takes the child’s hand, “I’m so sorry you had to see that Wendy.  I’m okay really, I am I promise.  We,” glancing to Natsu who nods, “we went to high school together and haven’t seen each other in a long time.”

The poor child’s face is still sullen and full of worry.  “Are you, are you mad at my brother Ms. Lucy?  Did my brother hurt you?”

“He…”

Natsu put his hand on Lucy’s shoulder, cutting off her response.  Turning to his little sister, “I did, a long time ago when you were still very young, I made Lucy very, very sad.”

“But he didn’t mean to sweetie,” Lucy chimes in trying to comfort the child, “your brother was going through a lot of things and it just happened.”

“So, you really aren’t mad at my brother?”

“No, I’m not,” the woman smiles.  “I rather like your brother a lot.”  Lucy feels the warmth tingling in her cheeks but does her best not to show it.  “He’s, you know like how we learned about the bad guys and the good guys in class?”  The child nods.  “Your brother is one of the good guys.”

That brings a delighted smile back to Wendy’s face.  “I think so too!  He takes really good care of me after mommy and daddy died.”  

“I’m sure he does,” Lucy smiles back.

“Wendy, honey,” Natsu steps in handing out some change to the girl, “would you like to go make some wishes while I finish talking to Ms. Lucy?”  The child looks to her teacher, then back to her brother nodding, taking the change and skipping off to the wishing well.  “What’s the odds that she’d end up in your class?” turning to the girl still crouched, Natsu helps Lucy to her feet, “or running into each other at the mall’s wishing well?”

Lucy shakes her head rather than respond.  Magnolia wasn’t a large city, it was bound to happen sooner or later so there was no point in making it out to be anything more than mere coincidence.  “I-I sh-should probably go so you can get back to Wendy.” Lucy turns away.  “I must look like a mess right now…”  

“You are still just as beautiful as the last time I saw you.”

The blonde stiffens. His words…. His tone… sends an electric shock through her frame.  Tingling along her skin when his hand comes to rest on her shoulder and the heat radiating from his body infringing upon her space.  

“I’m such an idiot for letting you go once.  You must be settled down by now with someone….”

She shakes her head, refusing to turn around, and answering in a soft tone, “there hasn’t really been anyone since you.  No one’s ever treated me…. the way you used to treated me…”

One hand on her shoulder turns into two around her waist.  “I don’t expect you to forgive me Luce, but if it’s any consolation, I still love you, maybe even more now, knowing how much Wendy adores you too.”  Lucy squeezes her eyes shut, willing back the tears again. “Would you give me a second chance?”

“Please say Yes!”  The young man and woman’s heads whip around to see a beaming Wendy practically bouncing.  “Please say yes Ms. Lucy!”

Natsu let go of Lucy’s waist, turning her to face him.  “Well, Ms. Lucy?”  A large grin growing on his face with the thought of buying his sister that new dress she’s been fawning over.  “You wouldn’t want to make your student sad, would you?”

“Gah, you really haven’t changed,” she punches his arm, playfully with a smirk.  “Lucky you,” grabbing his shirt, “I still love that goofier side,” and pulling him down for a kiss….  

[amazildoessomethingstupid]

Chapter 97: After, You

Rise and shine, everyone! It’s September 12th, and you all know what that means right?  That means it’s the fourth year anniversary of January! Hurray!  And what better way to celebrate, than with a good ol’ Chapter rant on one of the most infamous chapters in BCB.  And after all the hype and shit I’ve heard about this chapter I can’t wait to dive right in, sink my teeth in, and properly dissect it! Hmm, that came out a lot hungrier than I thought…

We start off with a bit more of Lucy’s mom being really cute and funny.  Although I will say it’s kind of surprising to see that this takes place immediately where the last chapter left off.  I guess I’m so used to time frames between chapters being out of whack so much, I just got used to there being missing days or pieces.   Can’t tell if good thing or not.

Also, just to point it out. Dat Size Difference Tho.  Lucy’s mom is one small mama…or maybe Paulo’s exposure to Daisy gave him some of that mutant radiation and made him huge.  Either way!

We spend the first pages of this chapter doing…homework?  Kinda weird, I guess it helps to show Lucy and Paulo being nice together.  It’s just pointless ship sailing really, and we all know how that’s gonna g-

Bruh…

Wut?

O-oh we’re just going to brush past that?  We’re just going to move on, from that random as fuck cross-ship?  That’s what we’re doing? OH NO NO NO, YOU’RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE!

WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?! LET’S RECAP FOR A SECOND SHALL WE? WHAT DID WE JUST GET FROM THE LAST CHAPTER?

The emerging of Paulo and Daisy’s relationship.

The complete obliteration of Paulo and Rachel’s relationship.

And finally the revival of Paulo and Lucy’s relationship.  WHICH IS WHAT I THOUGHT WE WERE GOING TO GET INTO WITH THIS CHAPTER!  Putting myself in the writer’s seat for a moment, I thought well hey!  This is going to be a little ship ride!  And because I have ADHD I can’t really remember what the fuck actually happened in this chapter or what it was really about, but hey!  Maybe this is where Taeshi is going to focus on Paulo and Lucy, try and build up this ship and make us give a shit about it.  But noooo, that’s too focused for Taeshi!  Gotta get that shipping battle in, get that nice dramatic romance conflict!  That’s what the fans, and dedicated readers are really here for!  

THE FIRST FOUR PAGES! Before we get into what this chapter is actually about, before we know what we’re even in for, before we get to the real shit people want to read about, we gotta remind them that Paulo likes Daisy!  And I mean REALLY REALLY likes her!  Because fuck, they might’ve forgotten about that!  I mean it was only built up recently, was on the rocks for a bit, but got ironed out and set up IN THE LAST FUCKING CHAPTER!  What’s the point of this?  Why bring up that Paulo likes Daisy?  Do you think your audience whom you constantly bait with pairings, and relationships, would need to be hit over the head with a shoehorned reminder that Paulo has feelings for Daisy?!

Actually, yeah I think it’s pretty clear Taeshi has some contempt for her audience.  Given she thinks we need to be hit over the head this hard and often.  It’s honestly insulting, and I only read this shit occasionally.  I don’t know how some of you can put up with this crap.  Do the concussions just numb the pain after a while?  Whatever let’s get to the fun stuff.

Anyway, Paulo is walking with Lucy and it’s honestly not bad.  It feels weird for Paulo to be so desperate, but given that Lucy almost fucking died and was gone forever…Yeah it’s understandable.  But this though…

Uhhh…Paulo?  A-are you trying to scare Lucy?  …what?

Why are you t-rexing right now?  What’s wrong with your arms? Why are you explaining it like this? I mean I can get excited maybe?  But he seems ELATED about drama which is…dare I say…a smidge out of character?  What is this?  Also, I actually got tripped up reading this panel and I think that might be the positioning of the word bubbles because instead of using the traditional method of:

For whatever reason, in this panel specifically it’s:

Which is unnatural for most English readers, who end reading on the right.  So I didn’t even realize that Paulo said “Whuh?” there when I moved to the next panel.  Making the emotional shift in his character more jarring when he switches from oddly joking around, to:

Being moody, to Lucy’s disinterest.  But that’s just an odd thing I picked up after going through again to write this rant. It’s not THAT big of an issue, but I do have to ask:

Really? That’s what you got out of that? Paulo says that all your friends were really upset that you were gone, and that’s your response?  That’s the only thing you have to say about this?  Geeze, it’s almost like you don’t really care.

But anyway, we’re finally on to the Carnival.  And we actually do get some nice and interesting dialogue here.

Paulo starts to talk about the things she’s missed out on since she was gone, and it’s actually pretty nice. I like Paulo being more relaxed and natural, playing around with Lucy.  Although someone pointed something out to me that really deserves a mention:

Again?  Paulo is poor, but he’s never been one to “borrow” or mooch off his friends, especially not Lucy.  Paulo has consistently never let his poverty be a burden to anyone else, and it is a real positive factor about him that shows his selflessness.  Paulo to my knowledge never did stuff like that, he was the one who bought Daisy lunch, even when Mike was buying Paulo sodas for the contest it wasn’t like Paulo was mooching off Mike’s money to win the contest. It was more of a mutual effort, since Mike couldn’t stomach the stuff.   Lucy thinking Paulo would “borrow” things just seems so weird to bring up.  And I know none of this stuff is really major or that worth mentioning but honestly…

There is really not much to talk about here.  Imma be real witchu chief, I’m a little underwhelmed right now.  Guest of Honor had me gripped and had fun in the first parts, Boy Toy I could tear apart with its dumb decisions and missed opportunities, and so on and so forth, but this… This is weird.  It’s not that aggravating really, the next page after this is just Paulo and lucy doing rides.   I guess y’know, after 5 chapters that knock you around and turn my stomach inside out with force fed bullshit, I guess you gotta have a nice mediocre one to help mellow you out after a while.   I’m not really complaining, but I just heard so much about this I expected more y’know? I was hoping for something a bit more to sink my teeth into.  

But anyway, back to the comic.  Lucy asks Paulo about Abbey and Daisy (for some reason, honestly it seems she doesn’t care about the group anymore so why ask about them, and also why them?  They’re like the least close to Lucy why would she care about them?)  and…

…what?

*groan* fuck I found something to say.

First of all.  That Face.  Stop That Face.  Secondly, who the hell are you?  I know I said in the previous chapter, that Lucy is no longer Lucy, but this here really solidifies it and is very concerning.  Who the fuck is this?  Lucy has always been snarky; she’s always been one to goad people.  But she was never one to be eager to dig into other people’s drama like this!  What the heck is this?  Who the heck is this? Oh fuck it, whatever she’s a lost cause now.

At least they’re actually talking now which is something I can take some solace behind.  And also, yeah really Lucy!  You would’ve known that if you GAVE A DAMN!  

Okay I need to make up a new name for this new Lucy.  Cause I will never stop comparing her to the Lucy character that had been set up, built upon, and established before unless I make some title that draws a clear distinction to say that she isn’t Lucy.  Because this is so fucking weird to hear from Lucy, digging for drama, and stirring the pot directly like this.  Being such an asshole, and blatantly badmouthing Daisy like this behind her back.   This is not Lucy, I refuse to call her that in the horrible fear that this might actually affect my own view of Lucy, and thus my characterization of Lucy in my own comic.  Hmm, I’m thinking…how about Lacie?  Yeah that sounds good.  It’s like it’s ALMOST Lucy, but it’s not.  And it’s easy to remember, like Madison’s name!  Cause you shorten that to Maddie, and it perfectly encapsulates her entire character which is that she’s mad!   And Lacie perfectly encapsulates this character because…

I am a cheeky asshole.

Will say though, this panel got a smile out of me.  So that’s good.

Anyway, Lacie and Paulo are talking about Drunk Daisy, and it’s alright.  There’s some shipping tension and shit, and I’m just like…

Alright, guy get to the point.  At what point am I supposed to lose my shit at this chapter?  I swear to god, it’s January’s fucking birthday.  Don’t ruin this for me.  Gimme the fuckin’ goods.  Gimme something interesting.

Oh shit, Lacie just found out about Abbey strangling Paulo!  Oh shit, this is interesting!  

Awww Lacie is actually showing some fucking compassion to her friend!  Ignoring this being a blatant ship sailing moment, this is actually interesting!  Alright, you have my attention.  Where are we goi-

…

WHAT?!  BITCH ARE YOU FUCKIN’ F’REAL SHAKES RIGHT NOW?! YOUR FRIEND JUST TOLD YOU THAT YOUR OTHER FRIEND FUCKING THROATPUNCHED AND THREATENED HIM! AND YOU IMMEDIATELY JUMP TO GETTING UPSET WITH HIM ABOUT YOUR BROTHER?!  THAT’S THE NEXT THING ON YOUR MIND?!  THAT’S WHAT YOU’RE GONNA BRING UP? RIGHT NOW?!  YOUR BROTHER BEING IN A CAR ACCIDENT?  A CAR ACCIDENT THAT WAS MONTHS AGO!  YOU’RE GONNA GET ON HIM ABOUT THAT, EVEN WHEN YOU KNOW IT WASN’T HIS FAULT, EVEN WHEN YOU KNOW JORDAN WASN’T HURT, EVEN WHEN YOU WERE LITERALLY THERE TO SEE BOTH YOUR BROTHER AND PAULO IN THE FUCKING HOSPITAL!  

WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?! THIS CHAPTER IS LIKE REAL LIFE LAG ON A FREEWAY!  YOU’RE SWAPPING FROM BEING DEAD STOPPED TO GOING 100MPH TO IMMEDIATELY DEAD STOP AGAIN! WHAT IS THIS?  AND ALSO!

What is this tone shift? Lacie goes from caring and comforting with Paulo, to yelling at him, to being sad.  And I know!  Mood swings! Lacie is fucking broken, that is without a shadow of a doubt, but that doesn’t change the fact that this emotional rollercoaster is whiplashing me so hard my neck has the structural integrity of a wet noodle!  I’ve never seen a tonal shift like this before.  This isn’t just jumping emotions page to page; it’s fucking PANEL TO PANEL! What the fuck is this writing?!

Yes, I know I made a whole rant all about January this week, but bitch I will not pass an opportunity to make a good referential joke.  Also

“Abbey’s not that bad.” LACIE YOU DUMB SLUT!  YOU LITERALLY JUST HEARD HOW HE FUCKING THROAT PUNCHED PAULO! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? Even ignoring that, Lucy (the real one) NEVER really liked Abbey.  In fact, she was the one person who actually rebuffed Abbey’s white knight schtick!

But let’s go back to the comic for a second, because I ain’t done.

That sure is a lot of presumptions for someone who ADMITTED SHE DOESN’T FUCKING KNOW WHAT’S GOING ON!

BUT SINCE YOU APPARENTLY HAVE THIS ALL FIGURED OUT CAN YOU PLEASE TELL ME WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?! WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS CHARACTER?  

Who the fuck is this character? At least Paulo is speaking some fucking sense here!  So that’s one character who isn’t completely ruined. But seriously, what the fuck is this? What the fuck is this character?  

Wait!  You know what this character is?  After the recovery she seems to have all the answers?  She’s acting like she knows everything, that she doesn’t.  It’s like she’s trying to fucking make things go right, but she’s just…so…hateful…

Oh, I see what this is. This is like the result someone would get if they heard what I wanted to do with Lucy being proactive, trying to fix her messes, and standing up for herself; tried to recreate it but not knowing me outside of my negative views of the comic, and ignoring the actual adherence I put to the character.  This is what Taeshi thinks I think Lucy should be.  I feel like this is just one big stab at me… And if it ain’t…Then it’s just a stab in the heart to every fan who gave a shit about Lucy.

Also, dat mad tone shift again tho.

… Alright, just one more January reference.

Please just let me have this one, I just fucking love this scene.

BUT ANYWAY

Oh wow, it’s so beautiful. It’s like I’m looking at a real carnival from way up high…with my glasses off.  Alright, I kid I’m not gonna pick on Taeshi for not going all out on one panel, but it is a bit amusing given the dialogue (and knowing Taeshi can definitely make this look much, much better)

But aww isn’t that nice?

Such a nice sweet scene, of Paulo and Lucy comforting each other, and Lucy accepting the embrace.   It’s really sweet and cute, and there is nothing bad for me to speak about here.  Yet.

“What we did?”

Heh well that’s a queer statement.  

Wonder what you meant by that, Lacie.  Would you like to elaborate?  

Please tell the rest of the class...

What. You. Did.

CONTINUED IN PART 2

[anastasiaskarsgard]

Happy birthday. What’s different about your life from 5 years ago? 10 years ago? What made you feel old recently? What made you feel young? What are you doing today?

What’s different about your life from 5 years ago?

I lived in California and had just gotten fired from this asshole lawyers office because he found out I had a boyfriend. I was also a bartender and had to work on my birthday. I told my boyfriend what happened and he bought tickets to Hawaii and told me to quit bartending cuz he found me a job I could start when we got back. I was totally in love and enamored by him. I thought he was perfect.

Now I’m single and I live in Las Vegas and only know a few people but lots of friends come visit Vegas. I had been engaged to that guy above up until a few months ago when I found out he cheated on me. I hadn’t realized how dependent I’d become on him and couldn’t afford Palo Alto prices without him. Especially since he’d talked me into getting an expensive car since he paid all our housing costs. I felt trapped by a car and rent prices. At lunch, I applied for a job I was qualified to do and didn’t even look where it was located. They contacted me and were willing to do a phone interview, followed up by another interview and a job offer. They paid for relocation to Vegas so I did it. Now I can afford a big house and my car plus no worries. (I’m a senior business analyst for a major utility company.)

10 years ago?

I was going to university and had all kinds of jobs. I also tried out being a lesbian, but it turns out I’m straight. Mariah still is the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen tho, and I wonder what she’s up to often.

What made you feel old recently?

Some of these questions on these asks are really young and make me remember kids are on here. For example:

Have you ever snuck out of your house?

Have you ever slept in a bed with someone else?

Have you ever kissed anyone?

Have you ever ditched school?

Have you ever had a real job?

What made you feel young?

A 19 year old ridiculously hot guy, hit on me and assumed I was around his age. He was totally blown away that I was nearly 30. He was fine with the age difference but I wasn’t so I guess I felt like I looked young is a better way to describe it. Even though now I have the dreaded

What are you up to today?

Working! I have bills. Lol. Here’s a big one of them but I love my bucket. This was a funny moment I had in it the other day and made it a meme.

[withfeelingoncemore]

made the mistake of looking thru photos from freshman year and even though my life is significantly better in almost every measurable way this is still Big Sad Hours because I lost one of the best friends I’ve ever had and I still don’t fully understand why!!!

basically we met at improv tryouts (LMAO) and when he got up to audition I was like “there’s no way this hot guy is gonna be funny” and then he WAS THE FUNNIEST and when he sat back down I was like “maybe the funny guy isn’t as hot as I thought” BUT! HE! WAS! so I was like “ok this is so out of character but I have to talk to this manses as soon as the tryouts are over” and so I DID (after I lowkey slayed) and he thought I was funny too!!!! (dont think he thought I was hot tho lmao) and basically we became best friends, like, immediately, and by second semester we were inseparable, literally hanging out every day and getting dinner off campus every weekend (with our dumbass third wheel friend who lived on his floor and occasionally my friend who I adored and who he also got along great with). and we were gonna live together! in a big house with a bunch of his other friends! was I dealing with some unresolved romantic feelings for him??? in hindsight, most definitely!!!! but I SQUASHED those bad boys because me and G* got along so so well, he was literally my best friend at school. people constantly asked us if we were dating, and I had to pretend it bothered me.

then sophomore year started and G and I are still Thick As Thieves, esp. now that we live down the hall from each other! are my unresolved romantic feelings becoming more apparent??? oh you betcha!!! did I have full-on crises when G came home drunk from parties, pulled me into his arms, and whispered how much he loved me (As A Friend) ?!!? OH YOU CAN COUNT ON IT ! but I SQUASHED THOSE BAD BOYS DOWN because now in addition to being my best friend he is my HOUSEMATE! but then golly gee whilickers turns out some of our other housemates are doing uhhhhh cocaine??? and also growing mushrooms??? and it already hadn’t been the best living situation, but I thought hey, I can deal with how dirty this place is and how our landlord just comes in unannounced and the fact that half of the residents smoke weed in and around the house every day, making the whole place smell like one of snoop dogg’s baseball caps. turns out I draw the line at cocaine on a wednesday!!! I promptly moved the fuck out and almost as SOON as that happened, G dropped me as a friend.

I tried to pretend it wasn’t happening, but soon it was obvious. I moved in mid-august 2016, moved out early october 2016, and by G’s birthday in late november, when I was enlisted to help plan a surprise party for him, it was clear I wasn’t really welcome there. even though I paid my remainder of the rent FOR THE YEAR AND! got someone to take over the lease, apparently I was still a pariah. in december, right before winter break, I went over to the house I left to confront him about how he wasn’t answering my texts and never wanted to hang out anymore. I cried and unloaded all the mental health problems I’d kept secret from him over the years in my efforts to be the Good Time Funny Friend he’d met at improv tryouts over a year ago. he was completely unemotional and insisted he hadn’t been hanging out with everyone, that next semester would be different when he wasn’t so busy.

it wasn’t. it was never the same.

I’d had clues prior to that--he stayed in town the summer after freshman year and we only hung out like two times, and he often didn’t answer my texts, and he got frustrated whenever I talked about my guy problems (even though I let him talk about his random hookups as much as he wanted) or expressed any inkling of my depression or anxiety. I guess, basically, that he wanted a sexless clown, and while 18-year-old me was, basically, a sexless clown, it still wasn’t good enough for him.

I don’t think about him much anymore. in february of 2018 I went to go see him in a comedy show--he’s kind of starting to blow up on the web comedy scene--and my heart stopped. his girlfriend was there, the girlfriend he’s now been dating for over a year. she’s a musician, like me. I try not to let that make me want to vomit.

when I met G, part of me thought I’d met my future husband. my parents met in college, and the instant chemistry I had with him made me think I’d met my soulmate, too. losing him, even though we were “just friends,” is probably the worst heartbreak of my life. we haven’t spoken a single word to each other since august 2017, when I forced myself to go to a party I knew he was attending, where we tried to exchange pleasantries but it just made me realize how uncrossably far we’d drifted apart. on halloween this year, we made eye contact on campus and we both pretended like we hadn’t. I forced myself not to cry.

our friendship wasn’t deep in the way my current friendships are. he didn’t give me advice or offer much in the way of emotional support. but he made me laugh harder than anyone I’ve ever met, and it seemed like I did the same for him. he included me in absolutely everything, even when it seemed like other people didn’t particularly want me around. he believed in me. we talked about religion and politics and music and comedy constantly. we shared so many of the same views; when we didn’t, we always debated each other respectfully. and he always wanted to hang out. if he wasn’t doing something else, he was ready for a comedy show or a dinner or just shooting the shit in his room. I remember when the bon iver record came out, and we laid on his bed, listening to it on his record player. I remember when he invited me to a theme party at his fraternity, and we left together, early, because fuck that noise, and it started to rain so he let me cover my hair with his jacket, even though it was cold. I remember that he was my plus-one to a couples costume party because the boy I had a crush on was already going with someone, and he agreed to be the peanut butter to my chocolate. I remember shooting the short film I wrote together, the film he promised to edit but didn’t (CLASSIC SAGITTARIUS IN CASE YOU HADN’T INFERRED THAT YET), but that seemed so full of hope at the time. I remember almost getting hit by a car in an alley once, I remember seeing one of my favorite (now disgraced) comedians together at the forum, I remember going to see him do improv every week at the on-campus coffee shop, I remember falling asleep in his dorm and him letting me stay there while he ran out to get something done. I remember encouraging him to follow the dream that he’s succeeding at right now. I remember him doing the same for me.