#I despise asking for help so the sooner this all can be over with the better

[atypical-irritant]

There's something I want to get off my chest relating to some more recent events in my life, mostly centering around undiagnosed chronic pain symptoms experienced cocurrently with a history of trauma and diagnosed PTSD.

Now, I'm well aware of the phenomenon where past trauma will manifest itself into physical symptoms, though admittedly I'm a little fuzzy on the specifics. My awareness has mostly been accumulated more by surprise than anything, as I've found it increasingly difficult to find a doctor that doesn't see my history of trauma and immediately jump to the conclusion that any of my physical symptoms must be some form of somatic trauma manifestation. And while I'm not of the opinion they're entirely wrong, as it does seem possible these symptoms could very well have some form of somatic origin or relation, it does feel like they've skipped a step or two in this process.

See, there's this nagging discomfort within me where I can't help but notice how often doctors neglect to actually rule out any possible physical causes before declaring more physical symptoms as being caused by unresolved trauma. More concerningly, once they've come to this conclusion it's as if all efforts to actually ease or treat these symptoms stop entirely. The whole situation feels very dismissive and often leaves me at a loss for what to do next. It's one thing to go through the usual steps of due diligence and rule out any other possible causes then consider the likelihood of these issues being somatic in nature, but to look at someone's symptoms and their mental health history then decide off maybe one blood test and a follow up that "clearly this must be mental" feels, at best, lazy and at worst? Outright insidious.

I've been in therapy for many years now and have devoted the majority of my focus to treatment for my mental health. Frankly, things in that department are much better than they were years ago, yet the advice typically given when discussing concerns with how often I'm finding difficulty doing simple tasks due to pain is to continue therapy (which I'd given no indication I was ever intending on stopping nor do I have that intention) and work towards being less stressed. Nevermind the fact being physically limited and in pain in and of itself is stressful! I'd be fine to just accept that these issues are merely somatic in nature if that avenue of thinking didn't leave me exactly where I started; frustrated and struggling to get by.

I mention this as, recently, there's been a new obstacle added to all this where a neurology clinic actually refused my referral, after my PCP agreed it'd be a good idea to rule out any possible neurological causes for what I've been experiencing, until after I have gone through another neuropsychological evaluation. As having had one less than 5 years ago was apparently not recent enough for their liking. They specifically wanted a new one to rule out any psychological factors attributing to my symptoms, which even the neuropsych found puzzling. I can see why; this situation is usually the other way around.

So I had to sit through another 5 hour long neuropsych evaluation, now featuring quite a few more questions relating to rumination about one's health, hypochondria, and just a general over-preoccupation with being sick or wanting attention. As much as I'd like to sit and say it was all without any intended malice, the overall experience felt incredibly insulting and unnecessary. I'd thought there'd be no harm in a second test (perhaps even a benefit as, during the previous evaluation, my system was in what we consider a period of "plural discovery backpedaling" due to conflicts in our home life at the time), but I hadn't considered the toll being extensively questioned in that framework would take on some of my other alters.

I can understand wanting to rule out the possibility of mental health issues causing things, but this whole process has been ridiculous. And it's not even new! That it took our partner system months of insistence for us to even consider getting our physical issues addressed comes directly from years of skeptical looks and flippant answers from past medical providers. At this point, we expect no less and the strain that comes with fighting to communicate our concerns isn't worth the high probability of being dismissed.

But I'm beginning to think this is much more fucked up than it initially seemed. Yes, we have a history of mental illness. Many people do and that does not suddenly lower all chance of the root issue being NOT mental health related. In fact, I'd argue having physical issues more often brings about mental issues than the other way around, especially if they're chronically unaddressed. I may be nuts, but I should not have to become subject to psychological interrogation before anyone bothers to check for physical causes.

And honestly, just because something doesn't have a defined mechanical cause doesn't suddenly make it irrelevant. There should be better supports for those who do have somatic symptoms due to chronic stress because, last I checked, pain still registers as pain regardless of the perceived validity of why it's there! I'd be less bothered by the straight jump to psychological causes if that routinely didn't end with vague recommendations to do what already is obviously not helping well enough.

As a somewhat related sidenote, if that neuropsych eval even vaguely implies some sort of attention seeking behavior out of all of this, I'll happily go feral on their asses. I'm beyond tired of jumping through these hoops and playing the good, understanding patient while struggling with issues affecting my ability to manage even basic tasks reliably. The last thing I have interest in is the superficial attention of some random asshole with a medical license, but even I know when something is above my skillset.

[luveline]

hey pookie bear❤️❤️ i was wondering if u could do james x reader but enemies to lovers/one bed troupe, i can’t find enemies to lovers with james very often and my mind is craving it. thank you ily❤️❤️

hey!! ily tysm for requesting!!! —you and co-worker!james share a hotel room for the night. fem!reader, 1.5k

James Potter is the most insufferable, arrogant, suffocating boy you've ever met in your entire life, so when you hear you'll be sharing a room with him tonight, you shut down. Total icy silence. If he wants conversation, he can ring one of his irritating mates. 

It feels borderline illegal to have your workplace make you share a room considering, but you're adults, and the trip was supposedly all inclusive. Not even the most luxurious per diem could make this worth it, though. 

James lays in the middle of the bed, arms behind his head, skin awash by lamplight and hair a dark halo against the crisp white linens. He grins at you and you despise how handsome he is. Handsome, and such a fucking prick of a man. 

"Won't you join me?" he teases. 

You've kept your vow to ignore him until that point. "Please don't lie on my side of the bed." 

He moves over, looking startlingly apologetic. You'd believe he was repentant, but he asks, "What's the point? You'll be in my arms sooner or later." 

You nibble the inside of your lip. He agitates you, he irks you, but you know James is a good guy. His irritating mates are the same. When you joined the office, he made sure they all remembered to celebrate your birthday though it'd only been a few weeks. When you fell up the icy steps on the way in one morning, James didn't take the piss. He helped you up into the doorway and frowned at your bloody knees and ripped tights like they physically pained him.  

"Do you want to shower first?" you ask. 

"I shower in the mornings. Thank you. But I can strip down now if you'd like." 

"James, please," you say, rubbing your eyes. You'd usually have something much more biting to say, but you're tired. At the last second, you summon the energy. "No one wants to see that." 

He glares at you like he's remembered he doesn't like you. 

"Cruel." 

He leans over the edge of the bed and pulls a book out of his suitcase where it lays in arm's reach. 

"I didn't know you could read," you add. 

"Points off for awfulness. Put your jammies on, shortcake, I wanna see what you packed." 

He's being a creep to annoy you. It's working. You grab your pyjamas and a change of underwear and leave his presence to the small bathroom for a quick shower. You take your time to dry off. It's too big a wish to have him be sleeping when you emerge, and sure enough, he's wide awake but changed into his own pyjamas, plaid bottoms and a white t-shirt. 

"Now I know you're obsessed with me," he says, raising his eyebrows over the pages of his book. 

You cross your arms self consciously over your near identical pyjamas, the bathroom door closing behind you. 

James waits for you to put your dirty clothes in your suitcase before piping up again. "You look adorable." 

"Fuck off, please." 

He snorts and kicks the sheets down the length of the bed. Stretching with a groan that makes your stomach hurt, he puts his novel tented down on the nightstand. His glasses are next. He looks different without them but no less handsome. If anything, the eagle shape of his nose is more pronounced without them, as is the little pink scar on his cheek, stark against his brown skin. 

"You're an awful roommate," he says decisively, "you use all the hot water, you leave the windows open, as now you're ogling me. I feel rather objectified." 

You avert your eyes guiltily. "You might want to take your temperature. You likely have a fever, considering how delusional you're acting."

"Ooh, burn." 

Face hot with spite, you push back the sheets on your side of the bed and turn off your lamp. After a second, James turns off his. 

"You're not brushing your teeth?" you ask. Your voice lacks a specific bite, fatigue kicking in. 

"Did while you were in the bathroom." 

"What'd you do with the toothpaste spit?" 

"Swallowed it." 

You laugh. It sounds much too friendly, and you hate it. "You're disgusting," you mutter. 

You slide down flat on your back and pull the sheets over your legs and stomach, more than aware of his nearness and the heat of his body already waiting for you under the thin quilt. He smells nice, this close. Like deodorant, mint, but something else that snags your attention. 

You hate him so much sometimes —he steals your pens constantly from your desk, he never offers you a cup of coffee even when he's making them for everyone else, and he's lazy. He doesn't do his third of the finances on time. He nudges his desk into yours to make your small figurines fall over and calls it 'earthquake training'. They're fucking plastic. James Potter drives you up the goddamn wall, and being close to someone like this couldn't be more awkward. You're stiff as a board. 

"I was only kidding earlier," James says. He's quiet, but so is the room. He might as well yell. "I wouldn't lay a finger on you if you didn't want me to." 

"You gave me a snakebite three days ago." 

"I thought you had a bug on you," he says furiously, having had this argument already. "That's not the point. If you want me to sleep on the floor, I'll do that. I have no intention of making you uncomfortable." 

"You've already failed, then." 

He sighs. "I can go sleep on the floor in Sirius and Remus' room." 

"They wouldn't have you in the bed?" you joke lightly. They have a close friendship. It's nice, even though you might pretend they're a throuple whenever single girls visit the office to ruin his chances. 

"Oh, they probably would." 

"It's fine. Don't… don't bother. It's not a big deal for me if it isn't for you. I know you wouldn't try anything." 

"Yeah?" 

"Of course. You're a bitch, but I don't believe you're that kind." 

James laughs loudly, his chuckles shaking the mattress. You swear you can feel his eyes on your face, though the room is bathed in darkness and the strings of scarce red light blinking from the alarm clock. 

"Good. I'm not that kind of bitch," he agrees. 

"Well. Goodnight." 

"Yeah, goodnight, shortcake." 

You roll your eyes at his nickname. Whether your short or tall isn't his concern, James calls you shortcake because he's very tall, and he holds that against you often like a schoolyard tease, papers held out of reach, your figurines hidden in alcoves or on top of cabinets.

You turn onto your favoured side and try not to care that you're facing him. James falls asleep first, his breath slowing until a snore emerges, his weight dipping the cheap mattress. Combined with your own, you start to slide toward one another. 

Fucks sake, you think, edging back. 

Space reestablished between you, you close your eyes and try not to think about what he looks like when he sleeps. As you nod off, you feel the soft skin of a hand curling around your forearm. A quarter circle rubbed into your pulse. 

— 

James wakes first, and he is Oh so thankful. He isn't a pervert, he swears, he has no idea why he's curled around you like this. Hugging your arm to his chest like a teddy, his face curved downward, his nose pressed to your forehead, he wakes and he panics hard. 

You aren't touching him back. Sunlight filters in through shitty translucent blinds and kisses your unassuming face, your lashes lightened, your lips pointed down in sleep. He worries something's upsetting you while you doze. He bites his tongue. 

It's none of his business. None of his business why you're having a restless morning. 

James twists and lets your arm fall naturally back onto the sheets, squinting in the sun at the alarm clock. It's barely five AM. You needn't wake for another two hours but you will, if you keep frowning. 

James holds his breath. Carefully, he settles back onto his side facing you and cups your face. It feels too intimate, too much. He pulls his hand away after half of a second, opting to take your hand again instead. 

He's seen you cry before. Bloody hands and knees, humiliated and cold, you'd sniffled on the steps leading into the office and asked him not to tell anyone. Remus and Sirius know everything there is to know about James. His genuine but waning dislike for you, his budding crush. And yet, after pretty much a lifetime telling them every secret he'd ever come into contact with, James didn't tell them about that. He gave you the packet of tissues from his pocket, and he told you a lie about falling in the exact same place a year before you started working with them. 

The expression you gave him then is the same you wear now as he rubs the palm of your hand with his index fingers. You're comforted. Your unseen unhappiness abates.

James falls asleep like that, drawing shapes into your hand. 

—

i love him i want him to be my office frenemy. ty for reading!! pls reblog if u enjoyed it means so much to me!

[i-am-a-l0st-gh0st]

Hi! Can you do a Wriothesley x Bunny! Fem! Reader? I don’t mean the reader as in being an actual bunny but has the attributes like one. Like having a tail and the ears like one. This is kinda like a Wolf boy x Bunny girl thing.

Breaking my back just to know your name- Wolf!Wrio x Bunny!Fem! reader

Well somebody told me, that you have a boyfriend T/w- Jealousy, bunny reader, wolf wrio, reader gets hit on, reader gets anxious, Summary- Someone starts to hit on you, what will wrio do. A/n- I haven't written for a hybrid reader before, so If this is shir just let me know and i can try can.

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A couple like yours in Fontaine was far from normal, and people despised the duke for dating someone of your type. You two managed to get by fairly well, but sometimes people did not know when to leave you two alone.  People constantly asked if you were okay, like as if he had forced you into this, but one person took it too far.

“So you single?” A man with a build similar to Wriothesley’s approached you. “You do look too cute to be single, especially with those ears sweetheart~ Now tell me your name~.”

You weren’t quite sure what to do in this situation. You sort of froze up and your mouth dried out, causing this man to take your silence as an invitation. “I-I have a boyfriend.” You were almost shaking, just barely holding it back.

“Oh sure sure, I've heard that so many times before.”

The one-time Wriothesley wasn’t all over you, you got hit on. Your ears began to fall flat against your head and he lent to pat them. You started to shake and freeze up, you didn’t like being touched by other people. Well, ones you didn’t know anyway.

“You haven’t said no yet, sweetheart. Oh does that mean you’re enjoying it?” A big smirk fell across his face.

“S-stop, please.”

“Oh come on darling~ that wasn’t very convincing was it?”

Then another man came up behind you wrapping his around your waist and pulling you in close. “I believe she said stop.” His voice almost came out as a growl.

You could recognise that voice anywhere, it was Wriothesley.

“Chill out man, I was having a joke.” The man let go of your eyes and slowly backed away, looking at Wrio like he was the monster.

“I don’t think she liked it very much. Did you love?”

Your voice was soft and scared. Wrio was always quite protective of you, but now he was angry. His ears were pointed straight upright and his teeth were bared. His tail intertwined with yours pulling you more towards him. “N-no..”

“See. Now piss off!” He barked.

After the man retreated he pulled you into his chest. “Love… I’m sorry I couldn’t help you sooner.”

 You hugged him back, hoping to give both of you some type of comfort. He seemed to understand you didn’t really want to talk right now.

“When we get home I’m going to cuddle you much. You didn’t deserve that, I’m just thankful he didn’t go further.”

You nodded while he placed a kiss on your neck. His favourite spot to kiss.

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@pandragonsoul

[wheredafandomat]

Shrink - P1 | You need to get laid

Random short thing I thought of. It’ll probably only be a few parts.

Avenger! Loki x therapist! Reader

18+ | there will be some bad language and probably mentions of sex throughout etc. Also, this is a lil unethical

Next

With a long exhale, Loki rolled his eyes as he settled back against his chair, slouching as you continued to speak. He didn’t like being here, judged, therapized, forced to confront his feelings or whatever other taradiddles Thor had conjured up to get him here. He tried to look interested, gaze meeting yours as you paused before continuing when you had his attention.

“I personally feel your hostility and aggression towards the other members of your team may be rooted into something else.” You concluded as Loki narrowed his gaze questioningly at you. “Loki, I’m going to ask you a very personal question and I want you to answer truthfully.”

“Go ahead.” He nodded.

“Remember in here” you started, gesturing around the room “is a safe space.”

“Get on with it.”

“When is the last time you’ve had sex?” You questioned.

Inhaling and exhaling, Loki’s gaze began wandering around the room as he nervously scratched the back of his neck.

“Well there was—and— and I can’t forget—” he began mumbling to himself as you took a sip of water before he was looking at you again “if I were to hazard a guess, I’d say around a century ago.”

Gasping, you almost spat out your water.

“Relax, only a midgardian century, time moves very slowly here I’ve gathered.” He tried to console.

“I thought it moved faster here?”

“Perhaps” Loki shrugged “I don’t know, I was just trying to quell your shock and distress.”

“I wouldn’t say I was distressed, just” you swallowed thickly “surprised.”

“Well, I’ve not found anyone I want to be intimate with.” He spoke matter of factly.

“No one?” You queried incredulously.

“I don’t spend much time out. I’m usually helping my brother and his team of delinquents.” Loki explained.

“They’re the Avengers, Earth’s defenders Loki.” You countered.

“Well I hope your planet musters up a more capable team, sooner rather than later.” He mocked.

Instead of defending the organisation further, you kept your professionalism.

“Look, Loki, if I’m being honest with you, I don’t think you’re angry, I think you're sexually frustrated” you proposed. “it’d explain the irritability, the edginess and the dreams we spoke about last week.”

“Sexually frustrated.” He repeated, mulling over the words. “And how would one go abouts curing this sexual frustration?” He asked, earning a cynical look from you. “Right.” He realised.

“For you, this week's homework is to go out and get laid, safely.”

“Get laid?”

“Have some sex, do I have to spell everything out for you?” You huffed exaggeratedly.

“Right.” He smiled.

“So, same time next week?”

“Yes.” He agreed, making his next appointment before leaving.

Making his way back to the compound, Loki thought about your words. Could you quite possibly be correct? He didn’t want to admit it but he thought that there was potential for you to be right but then that’d mean that the whole concept of therapy wasn’t as useless as he had previously argued and he didn’t like being wrong. He despised it. Huffing to himself, he thought there was probably no harm in testing your hypothesis. Once he reached back, he was greeted by Thor.

“How was therapy?” Thor asked.

“Do you and Jane have sex?” Loki questioned causing Thor to swallow thickly, clearly taken aback.

“Yes, yes we do.” He answered. “Why?”

“Well Doctor y/l/n recons that I’ll be all better if I have some of the sex.” Loki explained, causing Thor to stand straighter.

“Well we must settle this at dawn, whoever survives will be the one Jane—” Thor began before Loki interrupted.

“What on Midgard are you going on about?”

“What on Midgard are you going on about?” Thor narrowed his gaze.

“I have to find someone in which I can have the sex with and then I’ll be all better. Don’t fret, I don’t want Jane.” Loki insisted.

“Oh splendid.” Thor clapped happily.

Meanwhile, you had just finished up with your last client before you heard a knock at your door, looking up, you smiled as you gestured Natasha inside who was holding food. Once she entered, she sat down as you both tucked into the meal.

“So, how’s your week been, any good client stories?” Natasha asked.

“Natasha” you exclaimed “if I were to share information about my patients with you, I’d be at risk of losing my license.”

“I won’t tell” she baited you “besides, I’m not asking you to be specific and use names, just give me the rundown, we used to share everything with each other.”

You couldn’t disagree with her, you became best friends when your office was based at SHIELD headquarters and she was a trainee agent.

“You’re a terrible influence, pour me a glass of that wine.” You relented.

“Soo, banging anyone?” She asked, both of you with glasses in hand.

“No, no one rocks my boat.” You sighed.

“What about that accounting guy?”

“We were at my apartment and let’s just say an encounter with a spider left one of us almost in tears and the other completely turned off.” You cringed at the memory causing Natasha to laugh. “I want a man Nat, he was always just so—”

“Weak?” She finished.

“I was going to say submissive and not in the sexy way. I guess I’m just done with always being the one making decisions, always being the one in control.” You rationalized.

“You wanna be dominated.” She figured.

“Yes.” You agreed.

“You should have just asked.” She teased.

“Very funny” you smiled “but yes, I think that’s it. Like if we’re having sex, I want him to hold me down and fuck me you know, not just cuddle and dry hump me until his boners gone down.”

“Accounting done that?” She interrupted you, aghast.

“He said he only wanted to have sex romantically.”

“What does that even mean?” She laughed.

“Who knows?” You shrugged. “Maybe it means after a date?”

“So then what did he do the times he was just at your apartment?”

“Not get rid of spiders” you laughed “he was more of a friend really. We just watched films together and hung out.”

“Wow, that’s crazy.”

“I know.”

“Girl you need to get laid.”

“I knowww.”

“So, what’s the plan?” She grinned.

“I’m looking for a man that can remove spiders from the home and pin me against the wall.” You giggled.

Next

Tags

@lokisgoodgirl @thenotoriouserg @chantsdemarins @donaweasley @xorpsbane @mcufan72 @loz-3 @evelyn-kingsley @sailorholly @lovingchoices14 @lokiedokiee @noideakitten @mochie85 @mischief2sarawr @lokiprompts @lulubelle814 @fictive-sl0th @peaches1958 @gigglingtiggerv2 @tmilover1993 @lyds247 @dustychinchilla74 @lokis-dark-queen

[flowery-laser-blasts]

It's the year 2023 and so much has changed...

Kim Possible and Ron Stoppable-Possible, now in their mid-thirties, work alongside Global Justice with their own specialized team (including Wade, Felix, and Jim & Tim). As for Dr. Drakken and Shego... After helping prevent the invasion of the Warlordians, Dr. Drakken and Shego were pardoned from almost all of their prior crimes against the safety of the world and eventually became, in their own words, 'neutral'. At times, they even aid Team Possible with intel, after all; who knows more about how villains do than ex-villains?

Dr. Drakken started working on his own world-improving inventions because he realized that 'positive' recognition from the world feels better than being despised by everyone, and this way he can rub it even more into James Possible's face... Shego became an elite mercenary/hitwoman after tutoring the best of the best agents of Global Justice for 5 years -it was part of her 'community service'- She now works separately from everyone, but always comes back home before Drakken finishes making dinner.

One day, Dr. Drakken thought of a hypothesis: if television programs are just a glimpse into an alternative reality and aliens exist with their ultra-advanced technology, then who says that alternative timelines aren't real? "Maybe we could learn from that to improve ours!"

He worked tirelessly on trying to find out if alternative universes or timelines exist, maybe ones where he and Shego were always good and Possible and Stoppable were the baddies, imagine!

But then he found something...

Dr. Drakken found out that there was a timeline that lined up exactly with the one they were in, except something was drastically different. It was stuck in some kind of purgatory; stuck in place but also as if looping over and over again. Separate from everything surrounding it but at the same time trying to free itself from its slumbering state.

Drakken looked into it, fascinated that this timeline could co-exist with theirs but at the same time not. What changed? Then it hit him.

"Tempus Simia... that Monkey plan-- It actually happened!?" Dr. Drakken sometimes ruminated on the weird feelings he had on the day the trio, and Shego, decided to abruptly give up on that time-traveling plan. None of them ever said or mentioned anything about it to one another, especially Monkey Fist... he became different. Drakken wished he could ask him about what happened that day, but alas the man became a supernaturally petrified lawn ornament.

"Did Monkey Fist know something about that statue that we didn't? Did the plan work? Is that what that timeline is?" Drakken became ansty, he needed to know what happened. Not that he was going to return to being evil, no-no, this was purely scientific, and well- curiosity took the upper hand. Perhaps he was a fair ruler in this 'time capsule'.

After months and months of calculations and testing, he managed to do it; Drakken succeeded in making a portal device that could connect and stabilize the broken timeline to ours. Shego wasn't entirely sure about this plan but decided to stick around to ensure the man wouldn't end up killing himself and everyone on the planet in some freak accident.

After flipping the switches and turning on the safety protocols, the machine started producing a whirling sound. No sooner did a small portal form, giving them a glimpse of the dystopian world of the Supreme One. "Wow, that-- is that me?" Shego pointed at a fallen statue. "Sheesh, who would've thought the sidekick could ever take over the world, right Drew?" Shego teasingly jabbed his arm, making Drakken roll his eyes in response. "Shego, dumpling, darling love of my life, I've apologized thousands of times already, can you finally let it go?!" He received a snicker in response, "I guess not, nevertheless, let me concentra--!" A loud bang snapped the two out of their banter, "Dr. D? What was that?!" Shego instinctively lit her hands as the room turned dark for a moment, the whirling sounds of the portal device intensified, and no sooner bright red warning signs started flashing while a deafening alarm went off around them. Shego looked at Drakken, who was frantically trying to close the portal. "Something's trying to push its way into here! I-- I haven't been able to properly secure that part yet-- Shego!" Drakken's face paled as he looked back in the direction of the portal.

"The Supreme One, actually." An icy chill went through Shego's spine as she heard her own voice coming from directly behind her. "I already thought, what took you so long Doc? It's not fun being stuck in time; ain' I right, Dr. D?" Both Shego and Drakken watched in disbelieve at the arrival of the Supreme One's sidekick, who within seconds hurled himself at the machinery, destroying most of it and breaking off the connection to the fractured timeline.

Drakken tried to jump in and save what was left by making his flowers restrain the brute, but the man ripped the foliage away from him as if it were nothing. The sidekick threw Drakken aside and blocked Shego from trying to get to him, holding her in a lock.

The supreme one stepped closer and looked at her restrained self.

"Now that botany-boy is taken care of... tell us, Shego: Where is Kimmie?"

---

I hope you guys like my little sequel idea for 'A Sitch in Time'. I absolutely love this TV movie!! I'm not much of a writer but it was so much fun imagining this story while drawing!! As for the future designs of everyone: - Kim's outfit is based on Stephen Silver's older Kim design. - Ron now has a utility belt that actually works and gloves that can help him control his Mystical Monkey Powers. - Shego's outfit stayed relatively the same with some adjustments, why change what works right? - Dr. Drakken (now Professor Lipsky) traded his blue lab coat for a white one... dress codes apply at his shared workplace, but he still wears a blue dress shirt underneath it. Aside from that his eyes aren't as good as they used to be and his contact lenses were out of the question since they tampered with the eye-scanning-security-device (he ended up being left outside of the lab for 3 hours because of it), so now he just wears glasses.

I also wanted to include Rufus in the story; Now a senior rodent, Rufus spends his retirement days around the lab assisting Drakken with various experiments and small talk while Kim and Ron are on missions. Hope you enjoyed both the drawing and the mini fanfic!!

[noblehouseofgay]

Amortentia

Jegulus/Black Brothers microfic

Mostly fluff for once <3

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

"Aw come on, what's it smell like, Reggie?" Ever since potions ended for the day, James has been asking Reg the same question. What does his Amortentia smell like.

"None of your business." "What's going on?" Oh great. His brother. Sirius slung his arms over both boys' shoulders, shoving in between them.

"Well I'm t r y i n g to get Baby Black to spill what his potion smells like, but he won't budge."

"Don't call me that."

Sirius laughs a bit. "Aw does Reggie have a secret crush?" Regulus' cheeks flushed. "Fuck off." He shoved Sirius arm off him. "At least tell me, I'm your brother."

Although he knew better, the petty stubborn part of him won. He looked his brother in the eyes. "Ton meilleur ami (your best friend)."

Sirius' eyes widened. Regulus bit his tongue, not knowing what to expect from his brother.

Sirius just stared at him for a minute. "I- you-" he huffed and stomped off. Regulus' mouth went dry. He expected his brother to not be happy, but he didn't expect angry. He stared off, in a daze.

James frantically looked back and forth between where Sirius went and Regulus. "I'll- I'll go talk to him, I'm sure it'll be ok." He began to leave but Regulus stopped him. "No....I'll speak with him."

He walked down the hallway, messing with his sleeve. Eventually he came across his brother standing against a wall outside.

He tried to control his shaky breaths. "I wasn't going to do anything about it..."

Sirius sighed. "James though? Really? My best friend."

"It's not like I can control it, Sirius..." He sighed. "Look. I know he deserves better than me. I wasn't ever going to tell him or do anything about it....so if that's what you're worried about, then stop it. James will go on blissfully ignorant, never knowing of my pathetic feelings." His voice had bite in it, his attempt to disguise the way his heart ached.

Sirius was quiet. Which would usually be cause for celebration, but right now it just hurt. Deep down he always knew James was Sirius' preferred brother, but he didn't think Sirius would be mad at him for this. How could he be mad? Sirius should be happy that Regulus appreciates James so much. And he should be happy that Regulus won't act on it. He won't get in anyone's way. He can bury his feelings. James can have Lily and he'll let the world keep turning the way its supposed to while he sits the bench.

Sirius broke the silence "I'm not...mad." He couldn't have said that sooner? Saved regulus some panic? "I just don't want either of you hurt." Oh.

"I wouldn't hurt him. Not if I can help it." Sirius looked at him. "I don't want you hurt either, Reg..."

Regulus rolled his eyes. "Sirius, please. This is James we're talking about, he wouldn't hurt anyone, let alone his best friend's little brother."

"Maybe not on purpose, but if he doesn't return your feelings..."

"We don't need to worry about that. I'm not telling him." "You can't be serious." "Of course not, I'd never want to be you."

Sirius rolled his eyes. "You're really not going to tell him?" His expression softened a little.

Regulus looked at his feet. "No."

It was quiet for a minute. "Can I ask why?" Sirius sounded softer than he'd heard him in a long time. It was almost nice, if only it hadn't been about this.

Regulus hesitated. "Whether he...returns my feelings or not, I don't want to hold him back." He hated admitting these things out loud. "He can do better than me. And he should...do better than me. I don't deserve him."

"Regulus-" "No, Sirius. You of all people should understand I'm not good enough. I'm sarcastic. I'm rude. He thrives in the sunlight, and I am nothing but darkness. I'm in the house you've both hated since year one. I am everything you all should despise." He didn't mean to say so much, but it all just flowed out. He couldn't control it once he started. His eyes stung a little. He looked away.

He's happy his brother talks to him again. He missed him. Of course he missed him. But there will always be part of him that feels he doesn't belong with his brother and his friends. He had always felt like an outsider. Maybe he should've stayed an outsider rather than pushing his way in.

Sirius looked at him with sad eyes. "I don't despise you.....I never have." Part of Regulus knew that was true, but there would always be a voice that told him otherwise. "James should be lucky...that you care for him so much, Reg. I know it's hard for you.....to have feelings like this....he'd be lucky."

"He wants Lily, not me." Regulus couldn't look at his brother anymore. He didn't want his brother to put ideas in his head. Regulus knew it could never work, he didn't want Sirius even entertaining the idea. "He likes Lily and she likes him. They'd be good together." He paused. His voice got quieter. "And all I want James to be happy..."

Even if he couldn't have him in this life or the next. He wanted James to be happy. Just like he'd always wanted Sirius happy, whether he was involved or not.

Sirius was looking off somewhere. He was thinking. "Whatever you're thinking, stop it." "I just think maybe we could find out for sure who he likes." "Sirius he doesn't like me that way." "He could. You don't know he doesn't." "Sirius- I am not doing this! I won't give myself false hope!" "Reg, I don't think it's false hope, I really think he could like you."

Regulus was quiet. He knew they were both too stubborn to give in, but just this once he would. Whether it was for selfish reasons or not, nobody would know. "Don't be obvious about it. Whatever you're going to do- don't be obvious. I'll kill you if he finds out not on my terms."

"All we have to do is find out what h i s potion smelled like. He asked you, we'll just say you'll tell him if he tells you."

It wasn't a bad plan. It was simple, and regulus could just lie if needed. "Fine."

So back to James they went. "Are you two ok?" His eyes were so concerned, he really cared about them both didn't he?

"We're all good, prongs. Though, before we left, you wanted to know what Reggie's potion smelled like. But I want to know what yours smelled like. Think it's a fair trade right?"

"Oh-" James tensed up a little to Regulus surprise. It wasn't a secret he fancied Evans, the whole bloody castle had known for years.

"Well it smelled sort of like freshly opened ink, vanilla..." His voice quieted. "And a little like broom polish."

Sirius smirked a little at Regulus, who's face was warming up. "Interesting mix there, Prongs. Doesn't exactly seem like Evans, does it?"

"No...not really." James tried to manage a light hearted laugh.

"Now, Reggie, I believe you owe an answer too."

Regulus wanted to slap that smirk from his brother's face. "Cardamom and cedar wood." He stared daggers at the floor. "And...broom polish...as well."

"Interesting. Very interesting." Sirius was so fucking smug that Regulus almost pulled out his wand to hex him, but he was distracted when James moved closer.

He looked up at him. "What, Potter? You got your answer."

James was smiling. His eyes were so kind. So lovely. "Yeah....I did."

Regulus felt his face burning. "Good." He threw one more glare at his brother and promptly left, but the entire time he swore he felt Potter's eyes never leave him until he was out of sight.

[animeyanderelover]

Can I get another round with Yandere Merlin,Diane and Elisabeth, Derieri and Melascula with a human darling. Only this time the darling is a member of the sins being the eighth son of melancholy so unlike other humans he's actually very strong instead of being helpless.

I was trying to think of a fitting animal to represent melancholy and came up with a donkey... If you've watched Winnie Pooh you know exactly why.

Tw: Yandere themes, possessive behavior, obsession, delusional mindset, clinginess, manipulation, isolation

Donkey's Sin of Melancholy

Elizabeth Liones

👼​Elizabeth as a person has always cared for the people around her even if they were her enemies and this nurturing nature is amplified in her obsession. The princess wants her darling to be happy physically and mentally so having you being the embodiment of melancholy only stokes the flames of obsession within her. You're always draped in thick sheets of unexplainable sadness and sorrow and even you can't give her a reason to why you're always feeling so dejected which only encourages her obsession to make a fuss over you. Since there is no real problem for your feelings she has no way to approach the problem and help you with your gloomy emotions. Other sins like Ban tell her that she shouldn't fret so much over you since this is how you have always been yet Elizabeth strongly objects. She doesn't want you to dwell all the time in such dark emotions as she yearns to see you leaving that grim place your mind always seems to stay in. She swears to herself that she will make you happy and that she will free you from your own thoughts.

👼​That wish of her is going to push her to be overbearing sooner or later depending on whether we're considering her before she regained her memories or after she regained her memories. Elizabeth before remembering who she really is would be quick to coddle you, clinging to you all the time and doing everything to make you smile and make you happy. She's insecure, knows that you are very strong as a part of the eight sins whilst she isn't yet she still strives to be helpful to you somehow. If that can't be on the battlefield then it will be emotionally and because she is so eager about assisting you even if you deny her help more than once that can quickly turn into her being a tad bit too attentive and overbearing. If we're talking about Elizabeth as a goddess she would approach you more thoughtfully, emotionally more prepared to read your current mood and attempt to cheer you up from there. She's more subtle with everything she does but upon recalling her memories she has also learnt how to use her abilities again which means that she might use her empathic powers in an attempt to influence your emotions.

Diane

🐍​Growing up Diane has made acquaintance with loneliness, a terrible feeling that she has over the years learnt to utterly despise. She doesn't want to be alone anymore which is one of the major reasons why she ends up as clingy as she does when she falls in love with you. You have never once made any comments about her height nor her clinginess though, maybe because you are often elsewhere with your mind and your thoughts yet it is the fact that you don't speak up about it that ends up encouraging her tendencies to escalate. She thinks that your quietness and thoughtfulness are very attractive and only add to your coolness. Her feelings have never been a secret to the other sins because she can barely hold back the red blush on her face as soon as she sees you and instantly starts twirling her hair around with her fingers, trying to make herself look cuter so that she might be able to make your heart skip as much as you always make her heart skip.

🐍​It is your reserved personality that still makes her most jealous though. Even though she is definitely on a delusional side she knows that you tend to avoid conflict and never disagree even when someone asks you to do something that you don't really want to do. This is where she takes it upon herself to act like the protective wife and speak up for you instead even if she never asks you for your real opinion on the topic. Additionally her already quite bad jealousy only increases because she knows that you are not the most social person out there and prefer spending time in your own head rather than with the people around you which makes every slice of attention you give others so much more special and by extension even worse. Why did you pay attention to that person and not to her just now? It's such thoughts that only add to her pushy clinginess as she wants to hoard all of your attention as soon as you snap out of the place in your mind you find yourself stuck in on days. As your future wife she should after all be the one person you may most attention to.

Merlin

🐗​Merlin's interest in knowledge, science and everything she doesn't know of is an unquenchable thirst that has led her to suspend her own age so that she may have all the time in the world to learn everything she desires to know. Often refered to as a mysterious woman since no one can truly tell what she is really after it is perhaps no surprise that the woman shrouded in mystery takes an interest in the other sin who is often just as hard to understand as you. Despite being a normal human you possess strength that has allowed to join the ranks of the sins and it is your personality that only adds to her interest as you are not very talkative nor do you spend much time with others. If Merlin takes interest in something she is going to pursue it even if she has to use more underhanded methods yet her ambigious morality has never truly been something that has bothered her. She knows what she is doing yet she prioritises her own interest above any laws or morality that others may criticise her for.

🐗​She uses the information she has to her own advantage and attempts to manipulate you so that she can spend more time with you. Her laboratory is a place where people rarely enter, mainly because she uses spells to keep people out and it is a place you find yourself often coaxed into with the promise of receiving your peace in there without being surrounded by the other sins whose personalities can be a bit exhausting for you at times. Whilst she keeps up the polite and kind facade around you her eyes are constantly observing you and note every twitch of your muscles when she makes some smalltalk with you whilst subtly attempting to understand you and the way your mind works better. Sometimes your gaze meets her for a short moment before you retreat to the place in your mind she has yet to understand and when this happens she wonders slightly amused if you perhaps have caught on to what she is doing yet have decided to ignore the topic in favor of avoiding a confrontation and continue your current lifestyle.

Derieri

🔶Whilst Derieri is a demon who has never really respected humans and feasts on the souls of your kind she will begrudgingly give you some respect after she has clashed with you on a battlefield. You are not just a puny human who she could easily squash under her feet, you have experience when it comes to fighting and possess abilities strong and respected enough to let you be a part of the sins despite only being a human. She keeps such thoughts to herself though as she would never want to admit that she holds secretly such respect for you. The both of you have most of your encounters whilst fighting each other since her kind is considered the enemy and she gets very aggressive when she sees you and instantly assaults you. Partially because she absolutely despises the way you make her feel and the nonchalant behavior you keep up even whilst fighting for your own life. Another part of her though can't contain the excitement pumping through her veins every time she sees you as she finds herself enjoying the thrill of clashing with you, her seven hearts beating wildly inside her body whenever your bodies get close to each other.

🔶The more her feelings grow the more aggressive she finds herself getting when fighting with you as her hatred as well as her excitement only get stronger as a result of her growing obsession. Derieri finds herself in desperate need to know what you really think of her kind and if you share the same thoughts as most other humans have about her own kind. She doesn't want to get her hopes up yet a part of her can't help but think that perhaps you will be different. After all you are quite different from other humans with a thought process that she can't even comprehend and it partially frustrates her about you. Having clashed with you multiple times during fights and having witnessed your strength with her own eyes though her frustration only continues to grow as she realises that you are truly not an easy person she could simply get her hands on. For a mere human you possess an annoying amount of strength that she may enjoy during fights yet that also means that she won't be able to just easily take you even if she desires to do so. Intentionally or not, everything about you seems to be something that she adores yet finds frustrating at the same time.

Melascula

🌫️​Melascula's experience is going to be even worse than Derieri's is and this demoness handles it even worse. Whilst Derieri will simply brood and lash out if someone mentions you Melascula needs no such direct trigger to have an outburst. She refuses to acknowledge you and respect you despite having seen your powers on display and doesn't want to accept the growing feelings she has whilst thinking about you. She would accept every other excuse that could help her to deny her growing feelings for you and in such frenzy attempts to convince herself and everyone around her that her feelings aren't real she turns into a conspiracy theorist. You bewitched her somehow and maybe Merlin helped you by putting a spell on her because her obsession for you can't be something that was born out of her own feelings she secretly harbors for you. She experienes constantly short and frenzied meltdowns as soon as something even vaguely reminds her of you to the point where the rest of the Ten Commandments starts to leave her alone as no one of them wants to be the next victim of her ridiculous rage.

🌫️​Everything you embody she tries to ridicule all in an attempt to deny her own feelings, in distraught hopes that her attraction may disappear if she were to just remind herself enough that no power you possess will change the fact that you belong to the weakest and most useless race on this planet. Her twisted feelings are always revealed though as soon as she's around you, her dark eyes observing you and her body language almost lecherous as fighting against you only fawns the inferno of obsession within her. She wants to be adored and worshipped by you yet your attitude which is only utterly disrespectful in her eyes only enrages her further. Just because you are a little bit more powerful than the normal human doesn't mean that you can just casually disrespect her! You just wait until she gets her hands on you sooner or later. She will properly educate you on how to treat a sublime woman like she is with the respect and the worship she deserves all whilst keeping you by her side like a human pet.

[p0ssywhippedcream]

I'm back again! So for me, all the one-shots where Percy is being a shit to y/n are like a series of  a toxic relationship, and I WANT HIM TO SUFFER SO BAD. It could be because I despise assholes or because he reminds me too much of my shitty ex (Percy, I adore you, but this is personal now).

Yes, my ex wasn't over his ex while being with me and told me that he preferred to still have the 140 pictures (yes, I remember this detail) of her than be with me.

Like I said before, I would love fluff, but I need vengeance! I NEED IT!

So please, I beg you! Write something that will fulfill my soul; I know you can. I only want him to pay, nothing else.

Love, THE Anon 🧚

I've tried to figure out how to say "fuck your ex" in a creative way but low-key im too tired he's just a douche n im so happy you know you deserve better n you're not with him!!! Also I wrote this sleep deprived on a 8 hour flight n actually kinda hate it but I promised so I deliver.

48 times. 48 times Percy’s called you and 48 times you haven’t picked up. It’s been about two weeks since you left and he hasn’t heard a lick of you, complete silence on your end.

For a while he respected the wall you’d put up, only because he didn’t miss what was behind it. He had Annabeth, his best friend and he didn’t need you.

Then earlier, he was doing the dishes with his mom. She was drying and he was washing and maybe he would’ve noticed her silence sooner if he wasn’t zeroed in on scrubbing off a chunk of fried egg.

When he finally looked up, Percy noticed her staring out the window with the look she only got when she was thinking of his dad and nudged her gently.

“Mom?”

Sally turned and met his questioning gaze. Her eyes were less sad, more reminiscent.

“Sometimes I just wonder, what it would have been like if he stayed.”

Percy nods, thinking of the man in the next room who stepped in the empty role his father left behind.

“I love Paul, my life now, but I just know that... maybe if he tried a little harder, you could have had it a little easier… I won’t ever forget the love I had for him because it gave me you, but I don’t think I’ll ever forgive it either.”

And now he’s sitting on his bed, slumped over his phone with so many wonders. Could you ever forgive him? Why was it so easy to let you go if it hurts so bad now? 

He calls you again, gets your up-beat ringtone and can’t help the surge of anger. It’s misdirected, you don’t deserve it and it immediately returns full force his way with a guilt tenfold.

So he calls you again and you tell him to leave a message at the beep. He hangs up before he can hear it.

His thumb hovers over the little phone on his screen, 50 times is pushing it.

He gives you a break, and waits, and waits, and waits.

And an hour later, his phone rings and he practically pounces on the device. It’s your smiling face shining up at him and your concerned voice echoing when he picks up.

“Percy? You okay? What’s going on?”

“I-I’m okay, I just wanted to talk to you.”

“Percy,” You sigh, “I was seriously freaked out, I thought you might be dying or something.”

“I know, I’m sorry.”

“Okay.”

He heard you take a breath, holding one of his own.

“What did you want to talk about?”

“I’m- I’m sorry. I’m really sorry and really stupid and I should’ve apologized so much sooner.”

“Yeah, I know.��� He winces, “Anything else?” 

“Annabeth doesn’t mean anything to me that way, it’s you. It’s always been you and I’ve been too blind to see the obvious. I thought I needed her still because I knew I could never ask you to be what she was.”

You don’t say anything, he’s compelled to go on but a little scared he’s already messed up.

“Percy, there’s so much wrong with everything you just said but I don’t have the energy to correct you. I’m tired, it’s been a long day and I really just can’t do this, okay?”

“Wait, p-please,” His voice cracks and he makes no attempt to cover it. “Can you just listen to me?”

“No, I can’t. When I said I was done, I meant it. Don’t call me again.”

And with that, the phone call is over. The dial tone is a harsh contrast to your soft voice, it breaks his heart a little more. He misses you a little more when he pulls the phone away from his ear and sees what he could have had in your profile picture. He hates himself a little more when the next number he’s calling is Annabeth’s and she’s picking up with a care in her tone he only wants to hear from you.

[loolingz]

— character: shidou ryusei  x readerㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤsmut skit

warning ; public area sex, hatefuck. minors dni (17+ only)

you haven’t seen him since he left blue lock.

but you knew he was still alive. you knew he managed to do the impossible- to leave with his heart still beating. to leave with blood still pumping through his veins. and with a sense of morals to stick by. at first, it was just whispers here and there. rumors around your office. but then it was open and blatant conversations. sighting. images. and suddenly, shidou ryusei was no longer the ghost you thought he’d be. suddenly, he’s just a man standing in front of you on a crowded street. smiling at you as if you were old friends before asking if you wanted to spend some time with him.

you weren’t quite sure how to feel about that. and even now, as you stand facing the brick walls of some random alleyway, with your panties pulled down to your ankles and his dick lining up with your pussy from behind…

“fuck!”

…you’re still not sure how to feel about seeing him after all this time.

you can’t help the deep breaths that escape you as he pushes inside of your cunt. thankfully, he moves slowly as he sinks more and more of his cock into your pulsating hole. but from the get-go, he was determined to get his fill. to treat you as a warm body with an even warmer pussy just for him to enjoy. even if that means pressing himself flush against your back. crowding you between his body and a barrier. as if he didn’t want anyone to see you like this. as if he wanted you all to himself. at least, that’s what you’re trying not to tell yourself.

“god , what a foul mouth you have. all that noise just for a couple of inches of dick, huh?” he but purrs into your ear. his breath is so warm as it fans over your skin. the brush of his long hair against your neck has your body sending shivers down your spine, you can almost hear the way he smirks at your reactions. but you can imagine it perfectly. that stupid, knowing, cocky grin on his face as he presses you harder against the wall. you can picture it so well it feels like he never left. and you hate it. “Be careful now. I might just fall in love with you again. we don’t want that, do we? ”

you hate it, you hate it,  you hate him.

but he doesn’t give you time to hate the feeling that he gives you. because no sooner than the words leave his mouth, he’s pulling halfway out. you’re moaning at the feeling of his cock dragging against your walls as he makes his exit. but a second later, he’s hands are creating bruises around your waist as his hips snap back into yours. it causes you to gasp as he somehow manages to hit a spot deep inside of you that makes it hard to think about anything else except for the feeling of him pulling out once more. just to snap his back in again. and again.  and again.

the emotion that hits you the hardest is pleasure. it’s a natural response. a human response. but it’s a response that has you going cross-eyed and drooling, and you brace yourself against the wall. a response that has you getting way louder than you should be for being fucked so sloppily in a public place. a response that your body grows warm with a mixture of lust and embarrassment. lust because you like what you feel. and you like it a lot. but embarrassment because you despise the man who’s making you feel this way.

and that you wished he had done this sooner.

“you wanna know what I think?” he muses as his warm palm leaves its place on your waist and lays flat against your lower stomach almost possessively.“I think you haven’t had anyone in here in a long time. didn’t change since high school now, did you?”

it’s with a half-working brain that you realize he’s back to talking again with that velvety finish to everything he says. back to speaking his mind like he always did. at the wrong times. to the wrong people. but is it so wrong that you just wished he could go back to shutting up? is it so bad that you just want him to go back to grunting curses and promises against your skin as you two become closer than you’ve ever been before? no, it couldn’t be wrong. but you never liked him. you never did. that’s what you always told yourself, even if your body reacted differently. even if your thoughts disagreed with you, only thinking of his devilish grin and him in general. so what’s wrong with wanting nothing more than a warm body to get your fill? that’s all he wanted from you.

“at least, i don’t think you’ve had anyone good in here. am i correct?” 

and that’s all you wanted from him. at least, at the moment.

“ fuck …fuck you shidou,” your words are coming out in slurs as he speeds up his pace. but you curse his name all the same because fuck him. you hate him. you hate everything about him. the way he looks. the way he talks. the way he carelessly would start fights. the way he was able to walk away from you for soccer. the way that he was right about the fact that you haven’t had a good fuck in what must have been months. you hate- no you despise, you loathe it all. “just… f-fuck…fuck you…shidou.”

“ryusei, doll. ryusei. i’m not the senior you adored anymore as a junior. remember that.” but he’s quick to quip back with something so stupid you can’t help but squeeze your eyes shut in an attempt to pretend it’s not him. in an attempt to pretend that he’s not really here. that you didn’t say yes to going to a second location with him and that his hand isn’t currently reaching down to rub tiny, furious little circles into your clit as lips find your neck. that you didn’t want to sleep with him as badly as he wanted to sleep with you. in an attempt to pretend that you still don’t love him. “now call me that when I fuck you. got it?”

but you can’t.

because ryusei shidou was never a ghost. because ryusei shidou never loses. and because the man right behind you is determined to have you. and maybe you’re not sure about how that makes you feel. maybe you’re still not sure about how any of this makes you feel. but one thing is for certain. It’s that maybe…just maybe…maybe you don’t hate him as much as you think you do. but who can blame you?

“then fuck me, ryusei. and do it right.”

you’re only human.

[verdemoun]

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN JOHN MEETS ABIGAIL AGAIN😭😭😭😭

oh my sweet summer child which one. don't worry i'll do both

john's death is awful. it's abrupt but it's not fast. he wheezes, knowing any breath could be his last but still fighting despite there being more lead than bone in his body in case he still needs to protect abigail and jack. falls to his knees, still trying to make his lungs inflate, feels himself falling backwards as the clouds in his vision turn to black

feels someone catching him. pain is gone instantaneously and he gasps like he was suffocating. strangely familiar voice he'd almost forgotten but could recognize anywhere tells him to take it easy, it's alright. wildly glances over his shoulder to see arthur. hosea's there, kneeling in front of him, trying to assure him that 'it's okay, son' in that crackly old voice he hasn't heard in over a decade.

still trying to catch his breath, looking around wildly and the first thing john asks is where's addie. not abigail. addie. because if he's seeing arthur and hosea, he's dead, and he can deal with that later but that means he can see his little girl again

and arthur, who once mocked his brother as 'father of the year' and despised how he acted with jack for so long can't feel anything but pride because the first thing stupid dumb younger brother asks for is his daughter. can't help himself from chuckling, because charles is no doubt struggling to keep her in the car, makes some gesture to release the little demon who has been bouncing up and down since she found out her dad was coming 'home'

john hasn't even picked himself off the ground before he's holding his arms open and abigail marston jr is sprinting to him. beaming like he is the luckiest man in the world for being shot 21 times because he gets to hold his little girl, kissing her cheeks in adoration, asking where she got the idea to get so big.

it's been less than a year but to not see a child for almost a year feels like a lifetime. she's almost 3 inches taller, she's giggling and whining he's going to squish her he's hold on so tight and he has to stop himself from thinking about the last time he saw her. last time he saw his little girl he was burying her.

the gang are almost glad to be forgotten about. there's john marston, older than they'd ever seen him, older than arthur ever got to be in 1899, who experienced his own death seconds ago immediately becoming a father again.

he answers her excited questions so gently - so sorry he was away so long. he went to mexico and all over new austin, but he thought about her every night. that mommy and jack still need to look after the farm so they couldn't come with him, that she better have said thank you to uncle arthur and uncle charles for taking care of her while he was gone and he's never putting her down again, despite her squirming and wriggling in his arms because she's a big girl who doesn't need to be carried

on the drive the gang can't even talk to him because he's just staring at his little girl nestled up beside him with so much love, trying not to look obviously confused and slightly horrified by her holding up an iPad and eagerly explaining how to play way of the turtle because 'arthur i swear to god if you converted my daughter into chelonianism i will find a way to kill you also why is this moving picture show handheld and interactive'

if he ever struggles adjusting to modern era he doesn't show it. the second he saw his daughter he knew that eventually (sooner than he'd like) his family would be together again and he would go through hell/learning to drive and work a mobile phone and getting a shitty part-time job as a laborer to make sure they are all safe with a place to call home again

--

in direct contrast, abigail marston nee roberts death is so peaceful. bedridden for days, knowing her body was quitting and blaming the immeasurable toll of heartbreak despite how much she tried to pull herself together for jack's sake. jack, who looks so much like his father, sitting at her bedside and insisting he'll be okay (for her sake. he very much won't be)

it's a blink. one blink, she's looking at her son, and the next it's her husband. the images almost overlap each other, their similarities and differences never more obvious. jack squints because he reads too much, young enough that it hasn't formed lines on his face yet but promises to. john squints to make his singular eye focus (well, he has two eyes, but she knows he can only see out of one after those damned wolves). his face is worn, an old, scarred map of the lives he's lived. the corners of his mouth tug more with smile lines than frown, though. it's like a secret between them, how often he smiles

it's like jack and john are in the exact same spot, sitting beside her, but the walls of bedroom have become a field, as john takes her hand delicately as if it isn't as rugged and haggard as his from years of washing, cooking, tending to the chores on the farm that used to be his

"hey"

"hey"

he sits beside her, staring at her as much as she's staring at him. she looks so beautiful but so tired, holding onto so much grief that no one person should shoulder alone. abigail notices he's somehow older, like the three years they've been apart have affected him too. more crinkles in his face, but his hair doesn't look so dry

he cuts her off before she can work herself into a panic over where their daughter is, as much as he knows it's been so much longer for her. addie's fine, arthur is entertaining her, she's as bossy and demanding as her mother (to which abigail playfully hits him for) arthur's here, sadie's here, charles and hosea and lenny and sean and karen, the whole gang, they're here too. not heaven or hell but something else she can worry about, figure out and understand later

might as well be speaking latin because abigail could not care less after she heard her daughter was there. she just so wholly, entirely missed john she doesn't want to take her eyes off him in case she blinks and he's gone again

[mysticstarlightduck]

OC Reddit AITA Tag Game!

Thanks for the tags, @willtheweaver (here), @wyked-ao3 (here) and @the-golden-comet (here)!

So let's go with Deimos Soll from Supernova Initiative!

Deimos Soll

AITA for setting up my siblings and their crew for capture bu our worst enemy in exchange for safety against the warlord hunting me down?

Hi. So, I have been struggling with this for a while, and honestly wasn't sure if I should technically post this but since I've got few people I can vent this to, so I might as well give this a shot.

So, for context, I (26 M), did NOT want to betray my adoptive siblings. It was always us against the world growing up and we have always been all each other has had - well, at least until we had The Big Argument a few years ago and went our separate ways.

It all started to go downhill after that day, now that I'm thinking about it. After I left Jack and Cassie behind to pursue a solo career as a sniper, I ended up joining a Khosmonian war faction - I was very much an idealistic youth who knew little of the world of warfare at the time, but I believed that, by joining the Junction's greatest enemy in the civil war, I would have a chance to fight back against the government that destroyed my life in the past.

I was mistaken. Very much so.

It turns out that, for all the propaganda, the government in the Khosmonian galaxies - and especially the military branch I had joined - was just as corrupt as the Junction. I was quickly disillusioned and planned to desert that cause and go back to my siblings to make amends.

And I didn't even get that chance. I had packed my things and was ready to leave, but the warlord that commanded the faction I had misguidedly tied myself to - a monstrous woman named Eldora Thalax - wasn't about to let me go so easily. Apparently I was her finest sniper, and she didn't want to lose that asset.

Before I knew it, she had her soldiers capture me and bring me to her - she made me a final offer, saying she might forgive my 'treason' if I continued to work for her. I said no, and told her I was going to leave once and for all. She... didn't like that.

Eldora decided that, if I wasn't going to comply willingly, she'd make me do so by force - and so the nightmare began. I was locked in a freezing cell, and every day I was brutally tortured and experimented on - it didn't take long for me to realize what she was doing. Her plan was to break my mind and brainwash me into a living weapon.

I spent 3 years trapped in that living hell, barely holding onto my identity and sanity, until finally - on one extremely lucky day - I managed to escape and steal a spaceship to take me back to my galaxy. But Eldora wasn't going to stop hunting me down: 1. she didn't want to let others think she would simply let a prisoner get away from her, and wanted to make me an example, 2. she still planned to recapture me and brainwash me into her obedient soldier. Even as I went back to the galaxy I hailed from, I spent countless days trying desperately to avoid the assassins and agents she'd sent after me, barely getting a moment to even think.

I was at the end of my rope when I made the decision to seek the Junction's government for help - they'd always been my worst enemies, people I despised more than anything and who had destroyed my life and that of countless others over and over again. But I couldn't take it anymore, living on the run with the ever-looming danger of being caught again. Which I knew would happen sooner or later if I was on my own. I turned myself in and made a deal with one of the most influential Junction politicians, the Director, to get protection against Eldora.

They asked for something in return - and their price was that I helped them set up my siblings and their crew (since Jack, Cassie and the others had been the Junction's Public Enemy Number 1 for years now and Jack was the most wanted intergalactic thief of his generation) for capture. I didn't want to do it, but given that I had no choice, I accepted it.

Soon after, Jack, Cassie, and the crew were captured during one of their heists - something the Junction only managed to do due to the information I gave them.

They tasked the crew to do a dangerous heist on a hostile planetary system, making them work for our worst enemy in order to avoid the firing squad, and the Junction made me join them on the heist as well, probably out of sadism to see me struggle to keep the truth of what I had done hidden. At the time, no one in the crew knew I had been the one to blame for their capture.

The worst part is that, by saving myself from harm, I ended up subjecting my brother to the same - if not worse - struggles I had endured, as the Director made him his favorite test subject, torturing and experimenting on him for fun in the guise of seeking scientific progress.

I hate myself with every fiber of my being for what I did, and I would do anything to go back and change the decision I made in the past. If I had known what the price of my betrayal would be, I would never have done it. I would have preferred to spend the rest of my days working with Eldora than to let my brother go through what the Director did and does to him.

In fact, I never should've left them - abandoned them - in the past, after our argument in the first place.

I have kept my betrayal a secret from them ever since we had to start working together again, and it's eating me up inside. I know that if I tell them the truth, it would be the final crack to Jack's spirit - and Cassie... well Cassie would probably try and kill me for it.

And she'd be right.

Tagging (gently): @sleepy-night-child, @kaylinalexanderbooks, @smol-feralgremlin, @oh-no-another-idea, @littleladymab,

@winterandwords, @eccaiia, @sarahlizziewrites, @illarian-rambling

@agirlandherquill, @anoelleart, @ray-writes-n-shit

@writernopal, @anyablackwood, @unstablewifiaccess, @forthesanityofstorytellers

@i-can-even-burn-salad, @cakeinthevoid @thecomfywriter

@thepeculiarbird, @clairelsonao3, @memento-morri-writes, @starlit-hopes-and-dreams

@differentnighttale, @leahnardo-da-veggie

[bungalowbear]

six.

nanami kento x reader, pokemon au, wc: 990

reader is a psychic gym leader and nanami is a ranger. the garden is a perfect place for conversation. thank you always to @strawberrystepmom for inspiring this series! 💜

The sun is almost fully set. Its final moments are bathed in a deep purple, bleeding into a shade of blue that will eventually fade into the vast darkness of the starry night sky.

You sit on a bench in the garden while you watch over Solrock and Lunatone. They sit in the grass that surrounds the three tiered stone fountain that sits in the center. Among the flora they radiate beauty and serenity just as equally.

Speaking with them through telepathy, you ask about their day. As the conversation flows you once again find yourself trying to stay neutral on the topic of whether daytime or nighttime is better. You try to visit them at both times of day to show you appreciate them both equally, but you understand this debate is one that even you cannot solve.

Footsteps approaching make you dial out of the mental conversation. Turning your head, you see Nanami out of the corner of your eye. The last few inches of sunlight slowly succumb to the earth and allow the moon to shine its light down onto the garden and on the man walking toward you.

“Hello, Kento,” you greet softly. “Would you like to sit?”

He nods before taking a seat beside you on the stone bench, leaving a considerable amount of space between you. It’s silent for a few minutes while the two of you listen to the chirping of insects, the fountain’s trickling water, and the subtle vibrations of Solrock and Lunatone.

“I’m sorry I didn’t come to see you sooner,” Nanami says, breaking the silence.

“That’s fine.” You smile. “You’re probably still a bit sensitive to sunlight.”

“No, I meant when I moved to Johto.”

Your expression falters. “Oh.”

“I’ve spent so much time thinking about what I’d say to you if we ever met again. I thought I’d be angry or sad. But I just feel confused.”

“I understand.”

“Do you?” His eyes stay fixed forward as his expression pinches his brows together. “Because I don’t.”

Silence rules the air around you once again. It’s heavy and stifling and you feel the heat of shame roll through you. And again Nanami is the one to speak out first.

“Why didn’t you listen to me when I warned you about Sabrina?”

“I...”

You lower your head, throat tightening, as Nanami pushes on.

“Why didn’t you come to me? I would have helped you.”

The hurt you hear in his voice makes you look up and you’re taken aback by his intensity. His jaw is clenched and hot tears pool in his eyes. They threaten to fall but he holds them back with fierce determination.

“I often think about the last time we saw each other.” You pause, clasping your hands together in your lap. You steel yourself for what you’re about to admit. “After all these years I still can’t help but despise myself because I’ve realized I was always meant to be this version of myself.”

There’s so much more you want to tell him. You want to tell him that the knowledge and power that was dangled in front of you was too great to resist. That you were too much of a weak and selfish creature to overcome the temptation. At the time you valued your abilities over everyone and everything else. Half of you mourns your lost youth, but the other half relishes in the power you’ve gained. It’s proud of what you’ve endured to get to this point of strengthening your psychic abilities to rival even your old mentor.

But you don’t say any of that. You don’t think he could understand, or even want to. You don’t need your abilities to sense Nanami’s mistrust and reluctance to mend the bridge between you, so you’re thankful for the twist of fate that brought him to your doorstep.

Having Yuji and Nanami in your gym the past two days has been a breath of fresh air. You like the quiet and contemplative aura of your gym but you’re starting to think that a little interruption can be good. Especially when you come across a fascinating specimen like the young Ranger.

“I may not be the person you want me to be, but I’m stronger now than the girl you remember,” you say. “And I’d like to talk to you about your mentee.”

“Yuji? What about?”

“I believe a malevolent spirit dwells inside of him.”

Nanami arches a brow. “A malevolent spirit?”

“Yes. I’d like to make sure if it’s really what I think it is that Itadori will be safe. For now, at least.”

“How do you intend to test your theory?”

“I need to enter his mind,” you explain. “I’ll be able to better sense any traces of the spirit and place the mental barriers needed to keep it from awakening.”

Nanami takes a moment to collect his thoughts. The previous minor show of his emotions has now been replaced by a flat expression.

“Yuji has been entrusted to me. His safety and well being are my responsibility.” Nanami speaks with thoughtfully chosen words, utilizing the right combinations to make himself understood. “I don’t know you anymore. Therefore, I cannot trust that your intentions don’t go beyond what you’re telling me.”

“Do you really believe I would hurt him? I know it was a long time ago, but we made a promise to each other—”

“One that you broke first.”

You flinch at the venom tinging his words. Years of hurt and resentment finally make their way out.

“He’s special, Kento. Not just because of the spirit inside of him but because of the way he sees the world. It isn’t given to many.”

“On that we agree. But my answer is still no.” Nanami rises, you sigh. “I’ll keep a close eye on him. Just in case.”

Nanami bids you goodnight and takes his leave. You watch him go, guilt settling deeper within you.

series masterlist

i do not have a taglist. please follow @bungalowbear-archive and turn on notifications.

[lythea-creation]

The Price Of Family - Draco Malfoy x sister reader

summary: (f/n) isn't exactly a perfect heir to the Malfoy family. How will Draco deal with his sister sticking out?

warnings: reference to abuse

word count: 944

Author's note: Feel free to check out my Masterlists and make requests. No reposting please! Reblogging, comments and requests are always appreciated <3 If you like the story/my writing, please don't be shy to say it via comments or asks! It takes you a few seconds and might make my day. It's the best appreciation you can show to a writer you like.

Requested? Yes

--------------------

Being a Malfoy was not coming naturally to me.

For starters I despised the whole pureblood supremacy shit. Not even talking about the dark lord.

At school I was an outcast. Most Slytherins stayed away from me due to my beliefs which I did not hesitate to declare. A lot of other students avoided me because of my brother.

Luna was one of the only people I truly came along with. Maybe because she was the odd one out as well. I loved that about her though. She was true to herself and never questioned being herself. It was inspiring honestly.

But there were also somerismatic and cunning twins who I liked to hang around with. It was always fun to be with Fred and George and they did not care about my family. They saw me and not just my name.

Draco and I used to come along well when we were younger and life easier. But he preferred impressing our father over me nowadays and we were drifting apart the more time passed.

The year was over sooner than I had wished for.

I was sitting in a train compartment with Luna and Neville, enjoying our conversation. At the same time I could not help but dread the end of this ride. The summer break was the worst time of the year for me.

So I hesitated to say goodbye to my friends to join the family reunion that was already taking place at the gate.

Our parents were delighted to see Draco. They were all smiling and talking. Sometimes I wondered if I should just not return home one day to improve all our lives. But that would feel like running away and everything inside of me was clenching at the thought of giving up when it was getting hard.

Reluctantly I stepped over to my family who actually greeted me properly.

Our mother let us talk about our school year the whole way home. But as soon as we arrived I escaped into my room.

I unpacked my stuff immediately to get it done quickly. But that did not work out as I was interrupted by Draco bursting into my room.

“I've wanted to talk to you for a long time now”, he proclaimed.

“You can't just come into my room like that”, I noted.

“Of course I can and I just did”, he insisted. “The Weasley twins? Seriously? Do you want to ruin our reputation for good?”

“Just get out”, I shot back.

“I won't. You may not care about our family, but I do. I wasn't exactly excited when you started hanging out with that Ravenclaw weirdo, but this is a different level. Why do you keep interacting with blood traitors?”, he ranted.

“This is stupid”, I mumbled, crossing my arms in front of my chest.

“The future of our family is a joke to you? When did all of that even happen? You used to hang around the right people”, he recalled.

“Oh, you mean your friends? Our rather the kids of our parents' friends? They're narrow-minded and total jerks”, I stated.

“What did you just say?” He growled, getting dangerously close.

“Drop the act, Draco! I'm not scared of you”, I enlightened him.

“You should be”, he warned me.

“You're weak, Draco. Always have been. You only do what everyone around is expecting you to do”, I proposed.

My brother clenched his fist before snapping his fingers and that way calling one of our house elves. “Go and get my father”, he ordered.

“That's another thing. You all treat the house elves like shit. I just don't get it. They're doing so much for us. A little appreciation and kindness isn't too much to ask for”, I remarked.

“What is going on here?”, our father questioned.

“(f/n)'s going insane. She's spending all her time with blood traitors and wants us to treat the house elves better”, Draco revealed.

“Is that so?”, father reassured.

I gulped. Honestly I was slightly scared of him because he was always afraid our family honor may be at risk.

“It is”, I confirmed.

“Alright then. I've given you enough time to redeem yourself. It's time for you to learn the hard way”, he announced.

“What do you mean?”, I inquired anxiously.

“You're going to spend the summer with your aunt. Maybe she can put you back on the right path”, he considered.

I could feel all color drain from my face. “You mean aunt Bellatrix? Are you serious? She's a maniac”, I reminded him.

“Don't talk about your family like that! Apparently I failed to teach you properly. Maybe I was too soft on you. I'm sure she won't be”, he assumed.

“No, you … you can't do that”, I protested.

Now I was scared to no end. Facing my father was one thing, but my aunt. That was a completely different story.

“I'm taking your wand in the meantime”, he decided.

My wand flew his way with a flick of his own before I could react.

“I'll contact Bellatrix immediately. You don't get to take anything with you. I'm sure she can provide you with the essentials. Draco, you will watch over your sister until your aunt arrives to make sure she doesn't do anything reckless”, he ordered.

“Yes, father”, Draco replied obediently, although he was looking a bit paler than before as well.

My mind was racing to find a way to get out. Suddenly I wished I had just run away after all.

--------------------

What do you guys think? Let me know in the comments or asks!

[villainessprefect]

~Tell It to My Heart~

title: An Authentic Lie

Prompt #6: At the end of a fake date the truth comes out.

Jamil x fem!reader

Read on AO3

"Thank you for...spending the day with me," the words regretfully leave your lips. You do your best to sound professional and not spill any emotions that are tearing at your heart. It hurts to think that all this has to come to an end.

You let your gaze drift to Jamil, gauging his reaction. Fear gets a hold of you and your eyes dart to your hands. Fingers intertwining and feeling so perfect together. You can't help but squeeze his. Perhaps a little too tightly, but this will be the last time you can do this before freeing him from your binds.

This wasn't something you had planned out. It had been done quickly and on the spot. One of the many male students here had taken interest in you. It felt like borderline harassment with the way he kept appearing in your life. Desperate for a female partner, things were beginning to feel hopeless and you were beginning to fear that you may have to give in sooner or later. But you didn't want that outcome.

Instead, you lied.

The boy had cornered you, persisting with a question and you caved. You told him that you had a boyfriend. Obviously, he didn't believe it. You doubt anyone would with how well-known you are at the school. If the only girl was taken by someone at Night Raven College, the entire school would know within a week.

So, he pushed. He pressed. He asked, who? You didn't think this far ahead. You had hoped that just saying that would get him off your back. An easy way out would be saying you had one back home, waiting for you. But a part of you knows that wouldn't work. Pressured and needing to think fast, you could only think of one name.

"Jamil Viper."

Your crush.

And as fate would have it, the boy had appeared on the scene, shocking you both. You held your breath, afraid that he would hate and despise you for this lie. Yet, he had gone being your savior- your boyfriend- without a word.

Jamil was quick to come to your side and slither an arm around your waist. He held you close and you gripped onto his shirt, clinging to him as if your life was on the line. This would be a dream come true if it weren't for the fact that the damned asshole was still persistent in stealing your heart.

So, it was time to prove him wrong.

You did manage to squeeze in an explanation to Jamil about what was happening. You couldn't tell if he was frustrated with the situation or not, but he obliged to be your fake boyfriend for the time being.

When Kalim wasn't his priority, you were. He'd even joke about how it was nice to escape from him every once and while. To see him in between classes, at lunch, and at his practice. It was nice. To give an extra kick to that boy who wanted you, Jamil decided that you two should go on a (fake) date. It would cement your relationship and get rid of him for good. And how could you say no to going out with him?

Of course, your heart bled with guilt. You forced him into this, against his will. Even if he willingly was playing the part you couldn't tell if he truly enjoyed being with you or not. So, you decided that at the end of this date, you would let him run free.

You lift your head and look towards the school. It towers over the town you spent the day in almost ominously. The walk back is long, but you know that the time will fly with Jamil at your side.

"You can call it what it is," he responds. You can feel your cheeks heat up. It's like he's trying to get you to say it aloud. You'd done your best to avoid it all day. "Regardless of the reason behind it, it's still a date."

"I know," you take in a sharp breath. If only your heart could stop pounding and interrupting your thoughts. You had to be calm, not afraid- of what? It's not like he could reject you when you're not even really dating. "Still, I have to thank you for your help. You've done a lot for me. If you wouldn't have gone along with this, I don't know what I would have done."

You now realize how Jamil could have acted. How he could have brushed you off so he wouldn't have to deal with another headache. He could have looked at you like you were the craziest girl in school too! He could have left you to be snatched in the arms of that crazy boy. Yet, he never looked at you with disgust. He never scoffed at you. Always helped. Always remained by your side.

"You make it sound like things are coming to an end." You tense up. Did he know? "I would have thought if you uttered my name as a choice for a boyfriend, you would have liked this to keep going."

Finally, you turn to him. Your eyes meet with his. He's terribly hard to read at the moment. Calm yet wearing a small smirk as if he knows he's about to win this game he's playing with you.

"We could go on a real one next time. Unless you doubt my interest in you?"

"I-I wouldn't!" You practically shout and instantly cover your mouth. You take in a breath and quietly mutter, "you're really interested in me?"

"Of course I am. I'd rather be serving you over Kalim." A pause before a quiet mumble. "At least you treat me like a human being..." To ensure that part is unheard, he clears his throat and continues, "But the choice is yours to make."

"And I'd say yes in a heartbeat."

[star-girl69]

Ultraviolence

Natalie Scatorccio x Fem!Reader

—-

a/n: so sorry for the wait! i hope you all enjoy!!

warnings: mentions of labor, mentions of death, trauma, grief, swearing, tell me if i missed anything!!

Chapter Twenty Eight - Empty Life

Chapter Twenty Eight - Empty Life

—-

1996-

It’s barely there, but if you press your forehead against the burning cold glass of the window, you can hear the sounds of water falling. Plopping, like little raindrops, except the sun is out. It’s the icicles on the edge of the roof- melting.

But it’s still cold. That sharp kind of cold. The one that makes you want to forget fire hurts and roll around in one.

You look over towards Natalie as she loads up the gun.

“I’m gonna ask Travis to come with me.”

You glance to the open door, then back to her.

“He won’t go with you.” She looks up at you, seatbelt from the plane clicking around her waist.

“C’mon,” she mutters, but she knows you’re right.

“He hates us, Natalie.”

The word is bitter on your tongue. The entire idea of it all. You have known Travis since that plane went down and you will know him for the rest of your life.

Even if you die in the wilderness, or years later. You will know him in a way you won’t know anyone else.

You’ll always know all the girls in a way no one else ever can.

You meet Natalie’s eyes, your arms wrapped around yourself, feeling slightly ashamed like you have ever since Javi came back.

“I knew he was dead. I knew he was dead, or else I never would have let you… let you do what you did.”

She nods after a moment, standing up straight.

“We both knew he was dead. I…” she shakes her head. “I don’t know how he’s alive.”

“No one does,” you mutter, sitting back on a big wooden chest, leaning against the wall. “He stopped looking ‘cause of us. ‘Cause of what we did, Nat. And now Javi’s not even speaking? He fucking despises us.”

When you look back up at her, the tears in your eyes feel stupid.

“Oh, Y/N, don’t cry.”

Her knees creak as she kneels down in front of you, her hands on your thighs, grabbing you, squeezing once. You try to blink away the guilt in your eyes, but it’s never-ending.

“We… we did what we could to help Travis. And we did it based on logic, based on what we knew. Javi… Javi being alive is a miracle, nightshade, and we didn’t think about miracles.”

She stands up, placing her hands on your shoulders.

She doesn’t say anything else, and you don’t either, just feeling her touch, until she squeezes once and pulls away.

And a little while later, you hear her ask Travis if he wants to go down to the creek and check the gully nets. He says no, and she goes by herself.

—-

You watch from the table as Travis hands Javi a bowl of soup and talks to him softly, trying to coax more of an explanation out of him. But Javi doesn’t say anything.

You sigh and stare at your hands, feeling like maybe you should do something, say something, but what do you have to say? What could you do to fix this?

He walks past you and Natalie, who leans against the wall, trying to fix the three of you, and she speaks and you sigh.

“He’ll be alright. He just needs time.”

You look over your shoulder.

“Nat,” you whisper, and she doesn’t look at you.

Travis doesn’t even turn around.

“Don’t you think he got enough of that out there?”

“Travis,” she scoffs.

He stops and turns, and you can’t see his face from here, but you can see the hint of desperation on Nat’s face. The longing, for everything to go back to how it was. And she wants to fix it, you know, but she can’t. And that’s killing her.

“Quit acting like such a fucking saint.”

He walks toward her, and you can see his face now, the anger. You stand up cautiously.

“You planted the bloody clothes. Just say it.”

“I did. But only-”

“You made me stop looking for him!” he shouts.

“I didn’t think he was alive! It doesn’t make any sense that he is, Travis-”

“Well maybe he wouldn’t be so fucked up if I had found him sooner, so that’s on you.” His voice is choked up, and you feel slightly sick looking at him, just someone who wants his brother to be okay.

He locks eyes with you, a silent question.

Did you know?

“I… I really though he was dead, Travis. I’m sorry-”

He scoffs, brushing past you, and leaves through the front door.

You turn to Natalie, ignoring the stares of everyone else in the cabin. Lottie stands up and follows him.

“I told you,” you mutter, walking away, and after a moment, she follows you.

—-

“Do you ever wonder what it would be like if we hadn’t crashed?”

In the silence that follows, you can hear her heartbeat, feel her arm around your shoulder, splintering wood walls to your backs.

“No,” Natalie says after a moment. “Why would I?”

“You don’t miss it? Life?”

She shrugs as much as she can with you practically on top of her.

“We’re living.”

You sigh, listening to her heartbeat. She’s all you have in this moment, and the past and the future fade away, and it’s just so nice to listen to her heartbeat and know that she’s here. Not running through the mountains, not in a frozen lake.

“I’m tired,” you murmur.

She squeezes your shoulder, like she’s reminding you that she’s here, and it’s alright. “Then sleep, nightshade.”

But she knows and you know that sleep won’t fix the kind of tired that both of you are.

—-

Ever since the contest, everything has been moving slowly. You steal a glance over to Javi, who sits in the window, no emotion on his face. It’s like his sullen presence has spread through the entire cabin like dark mold.

Nat sits at the table, cleaning the rifle that hasn’t seen use in weeks. And if you keep going like this, it won’t ever be used again.

“What the fuck, Lottie?!”

You look up, startled, Lottie falling to the floor in the otherwise silent cabin, and you realize that Shauna pushed her down.

“What happened?” Tai asks, running over and helping Lottie stand, while rage mixes like a storm over Shauna’s features.

“She was whispering weird shit to my baby!”

“I was just talking to him,” Lottie says, dusting herself off. “It’s good to talk to them in utero.”

“Yeah. So they learn to recognize their mother’s voice.”

Taissa sighs and looks between Lottie and Shauna.

“She wasn’t hurting anyone, Shauna,” she says after a second.

Shauna scoffs. “Wow,” she says in disbelief. “Okay. Fuck this.”

And none of you can do anything as she slams the door behind her. And after a moment, Taissa follows her.

—-

The cabin has fallen into cliques and territories. There’s Lottie and the girls that attended her ceremonies, the ones who keep to themselves and hope to survive another night, and then sometimes- it feels like it’s just you and Natalie.

You sit on a bench by the window, the fire, but it does nothing to make the cold in your bones any better. Or the hunger. Each day in the wilderness is making you sicker and sicker, making you loose hope on ever getting out of here and doing everything that you planned to do in your life.

The fire cracks softly, and you look over to Natalie, who sits with her knees brought up to her chest. These days, you never have any comforts for her. Nothing to do, nothing to say. Because all of you know that winter is still raging. A few icicles melting won’t change that.

The door slams open, and you look up, wind rushing in for a second, Misty leaning against the wall and gasping, ripping off her mask.

“I lost her!” she yells.

“Who?” someone asks, a few of the girls standing up in shock.

“Crystal! We-we were together, and then we got separated in the storm- and it all happened so fast. I kept looking for her and looking for her. I was screaming her name, but, she just, like, vanished.”

“Well, we need to go look for her,” Akilah says, frowning.

“Oh, shit. Tai and Shauna are still out there!” Van shouts, pulling up her hood and rushing outside.

You think of Shauna and how close you were with her before the class. Working on projects for English together, waiting outside of the lockerrooms to study- and now she’s here, in the wilderness, pregnant and starving, lost in the woods during a snow storm.

“We’re never gonna find them in this,” Mari says, and you mutter bitterly to yourself about not being such a fucking bitch, tugging your jacket tighter around you and following the girls outside. You notice that Misty stays behind you, resting inside for just a moment.

“What do we do?” someone shouts, and the wind hits your face like you’ve just jumped into the water. Whipping around your harshly, blowing snow from around your feet, little swirling tsunamis.

“Tai! Shauna!” Van shouts at the top of her lungs. “Tai! Shauna!” the wind whipping around is louder.

“Crystal!” Misty screams.

“Taissa!”

“Crystal!”

“Shauna!”

Everyone shouts and screams, and you close your eyes against the harsh wind, the sharp snowflakes, but in barely even helps. Lottie has to halfway shout in order for anyone to hear her.

“Van, what do you hear?” she asks, putting her hand on the other girls shoulder.

“What the fuck does that have to do with anything?!” Nat shouts from next to you, but she’s ignored, and her words are ripped away by the wind.

The stand in silence for a little longer, and you can see them take a few deep breaths.

“I hear the wind,” Van says.

“I hear my breath,” Mari says.

“I hear the trees,” Akilah says.

“I feel our friends coming back to us,” Lottie says finally.

“I feel put friends coming back to us. I feel our friends coming back to us. I feel our friends coming back to us.”

They keep chanting and chanting, and soon, you can’t even see through the wind, and you can barely hear them. The storm is too much, too powerful.

And then, when night falls, and just as you think they’re gone, two figures emerge out of the woods. They fall, and help each other up, everyone shouting and running towards them and helping them inside, and you don’t let out a breath until the door finally slams shut, and the sounds of the storm fade away.

Everyone mutters, and you notice how Tai is practically holding Shauna up. Her face is scrunched up in pain, shes clutching her round stomach. Akilah is the first to say what you’re all thinking.

“Is she in labor?!”

Shauna looks up.

Then, she tilts her head back and screams in such pain you don’t know how she’s still standing, even with Taissa supporting her. And you know.

One storm is out there, but another is just beginning inside.

—-

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[manias-wordcount]

Only Human (Osamu Dazai)

Kinktober 2022 Day Five: Hatefuck

𝙒𝙖𝙣𝙩 𝙩𝙤 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙 𝙢𝙤𝙧𝙚? ⇒ 𝙈𝙖𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩

𝙟𝙤𝙞𝙣 𝙢𝙮 𝙙𝙞𝙨𝙘𝙤𝙧𝙙 𝙨𝙚𝙧𝙫𝙚𝙧?

You haven’t seen him since he left the Port Mafia. 

 But you knew he was still alive. You knew he managed to do the impossible- to leave with his heart still beating. To leave with blood still pumping through his veins. And with a sense of morals to stick by. At first, it was just whispers here and there. Rumors around your office. But then it was open and blatant conversations. Sighting. Images. And suddenly, Osamu Dazai was no longer the ghost you thought he’d be. Suddenly, he’s just a man standing in front of you on a crowded street. Smiling at you as if you were old friends before asking if you wanted to spend some time with him.

 And you weren’t quite sure how to feel about that. And even now, as you stand facing the brick walls of some random alleyway, with your panties pulled down to your ankles and his dick lining up with your hole from behind…

 “Fuck!”

 …you’re still not sure how to feel about seeing him after all this time. 

 You can’t help the deep breaths that escape you as he pushes inside of your cunt. Thankfully, he moves slowly as he sinks more and more of his cock into your pulsating hole. But from the get-go, he was determined to get his fill. To treat you as a warm body with an even warmer pussy just for him to enjoy. Even if that means pressing himself flush against your back. Crowding you between his body and a barrier. As if he didn’t want anyone to see you like this. As if he wanted you all to himself. At least, that’s what you’re trying not to tell yourself. 

 “God, what a foul mouth you have. All that noise just for a couple of inches of dick, huh?” He but purrs into your ear. His breath is so warm as it fans over your skin. The brush of his long hair against your neck has your body sending shivers down your spine. You can almost hear the way he smirks at your reactions. But you can imagine it perfectly. That stupid, knowing, cocky grin on his face as he presses you harder against the wall. You can picture it so well it feels like he never left. And you hate it. “Be careful now. I might just fall in love with you. And we don’t want that, do we?”

 You hate it, you hate it, you hate it.

 But he doesn’t give you time to hate the feeling that he gives you. Because no sooner than the words leave his mouth, he’s pulling halfway out. You’re moaning at the feeling of his cock dragging against your walls as he makes his exit. But a second later, he’s hands are creating bruises around your waist as his hips snap back into yours. It causes you to gasp as he somehow manages to hit a spot deep inside of you that makes it hard to think about anything else except for the feeling of him pulling out once more. Just to snap his back in again. And again. And again. 

 The emotion that hits you the hardest is pleasure. It’s a natural response. A human response. But it’s a response that has you going cross-eyed and drooling, and you brace yourself against the wall. A response that has you getting way louder than you should be for being fucked so sloppily in a public place. A response that your body grows warm with a mixture of lust and embarrassment. Lust because you like what you feel. And you like it a lot. But embarrassment because you despise the man who’s making you feel this way. 

 And that you wished he had done this sooner. 

 “You wanna know what I think?” He muses as a warm, bandaged palm leaves its place on your waist and lays flat against your lower stomach almost possessively.“I think you haven’t had anyone in here in a long time”

 It’s with a half-working brain that you realize he’s back to talking again with that velvety finish to everything he says. Back to speaking his mind like he always did. At the wrong times. To the wrong people. But is it so wrong that you just wished he could go back to shutting up? Is it so bad that you just want him to go back to grunting curses and promises against your skin as you two become closer than you’ve ever been before? No, it couldn’t be wrong. But you never liked him. You never did. Not when you worked for him. And certainly not while he was the enemy. So what’s wrong with wanting nothing more than a warm body to get your fill? That’s all he wanted from you. 

 “At least, I don’t think you’ve had anyone good in here. Am I correct?”

 And that’s all you wanted from him. 

 “Fuck…fuck you Dazai,” Your words are coming out in slurs as he speeds up his pace. But you curse his name all the same because fuck him. You hate him. You hate everything about him. The way he looks. The way he talks. The way he carries himself. The way he was able to walk away from the cage that binds you to death. The way that he was right about the fact that you haven’t had a good fuck in what must have been months. You hate- no you despise, you loathe it all. “Just…f-fuck…fuck you…Dazai”

 “Osamu, sweetheart. Osamu. I’m not your boss anymore. Remember that.” But he’s quick to quip back with something so stupid you can’t help but squeeze your eyes shut in an attempt to pretend it’s not him. In an attempt to pretend that he’s not really here. That you didn’t say yes to going to a second location with an enemy and that his hand isn’t currently reaching down to rub tiny, furious little circles into your clit as lips find your neck. That you didn’t want to sleep with him as badly as he wanted to sleep with you. In an attempt to pretend that you’re not human. “Now call me that when I fuck you. Got it?”

 But you can’t. 

 Because Osamu Dazai was never a ghost. Because Osamu Dazai never dies. And because the man right behind you is as real and as human as you. And maybe you’re not sure about how that makes you feel. Maybe you’re still not sure about how any of this makes you feel. But one thing is for certain. It’s that maybe…just maybe…maybe you don’t hate him as much as you. But who can blame you?

 “Then fuck me, Osamu. And do it right.” 

 You’re only human.