#I debated for a while if you meant 'the first destiny game'
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Destiny 1
(In response to this - I’m still taking questions for it!)
Favorite Character: Maybe it’s my Eliksni bias, but probably Variks. I enjoy the intersection of “kind of creepy shaman with goals of his own” and “friendly alien who likes us”. His storyline appeals to me, too. (This was a hard question D:)
Least Favorite Character: I like pretty much all the characters to some degree! But if I had to choose... maybe Arach Jalaal? He’s a little too stiff and serious for me to get into too much. Plus, Dead Orbit isn’t really my favorite faction.
5 Favorite ships: Saladin/Jolder (mostly because of some lovely fics I’ve read about them), Eriana/Wei Ning, Eris/Toland (of course), Cayde/Andal... and if I can go into the realm of very non-canon, I think Cayde/Failsafe would be kinda cute :c
Character I find most attractive: Oh, Mara Sov. (crown emoji)
Character I would marry: Any or all Eliksni
Character I would be best friends with: Maybe wishful thinking, but I think I would enjoy talking about the Light and academe with Ikora :D
A random thought: I know I bad-mouthed Dead Orbit earlier, but I would absolutely love to go out-of-system at some point. Visiting Fundament in-game would be the dream, or maybe the Eliskni homeworld? I suspect that will be end-game stuff if it ever happens, but I can dream
An unpopular thought: I actually liked Uldren a lot even before Forsaken made him Cool tm, since I respond well to characters who are mean to me or other characters I like for some reason. Plus, I just enjoyed the “moody Fae prince with a chip on his shoulder” aesthetic and then he just kept getting more like Crow from the early trailers from there, which I thought was neat. And even though I’m quite angry at him now, I still like him :’D
My Canon OTP: I think Eriana and Wei were the only capital-c Canon pairing in my ship-list (I think?), let’s go with them!
My Non-canon OTP: I’m having trouble coming up with one single OTP, but I will say I enjoyed Cayde/Eris when it was going around. Not necessarily even in a “I’d love if they got together in canon” way, but more so that I just enjoyed the concept from a distance, I suppose. (I’m a Cayde multi-shipper, I guess)
Most Badass Character: I still count that scene where the Queen and the Techuen are fighting Oryx as probably the most badass in the whole series. So, probably Mara Sov.
Most Epic Villain: You know Oryx is of course very good and a favorite of mine, but my overall favorite villain is probably still Skolas. I think something about him got to the heart of the story of the Fallen - this character, Kell of Kells, who was supposed to be a hopeful figure who liberates the Eliksni and leads them into peace, instead enslaving them and bringing them to war. Compared to how the Fallen have literally fallen from glory and try in vain to reclaim the Light, only to find themselves on the side of the Darkness. Also, Eliksni bias.
Pairing I am not a fan of: I don’t dislike this pairing by any stretch, but it always seemed to me that Petra/the Queen wouldn’t really work. I think the Queen is too distant and mecurial to return Petra’s affections - that is, there’s something very human about Petra and something very alien about Mara, that I just don’t feel would connect very well. That’s just my opinion, though, of course!
Character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another): Well. I really do like Cayde, I do. But I think in recent times the writers have been leaning a bit too much on his “comic relief” persona than other aspects of his character. That being said, there are a lot of recent lore tidbits (especially in the “Letters to Ace”) that give him a lot more depth, so I think this may just be a “presentation” issue - it seemed like the writers may have been a little afraid to lean away from that side of him during gameplay and shoved his other facets into the corner.
So it’s not so much that I think that Cayde’s a bad character as I think they made a good character and just didn’t use him to his fullest potential.
Favorite friendship: Cayde and Ikora have a lovely dynamic, and I enjoy their interactions a lot!
Character I most identify with: Honestly, I’m not sure! But being as I’m not a violent person and sometimes get uncomfortable with the idea of violence in real life, I like Efrideet’s story a lot. I can’t remember if this is fanon or canon, but there were ideas going around about Efrideet being the most easily angered of the Iron Lords, which contributed to her being a pacifist, that I kind of relate to - at least, I relate to having a complicated relationship with one’s own anger and how to perceive it. The pacifist Guardian group sounds awesome, too. I don’t think I could commit to being a full pacifist - not while the survival of the human race is on the line - but then again, neither did she. So, I would say Efrideet!
Character I wish I could be: I mean, Crucible champion? Super-intelligent? Knocked a Cabal ship out of the air with her sheer power? Gently skeptical and passionately devoted in equal measures? “Osiris may have taught me everything he knows, but that’s not everything I know”? I think we all know the answer to that
#asksolotl#I debated for a while if you meant 'the first destiny game'#or 'destiny for number 1'#so i apologize but some d2 did get in there :P#destiny#me talking#ir-anuk
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In all my years of being a fan of Final Fantasy VII, I never realized the polarizing nature surrounding the debate about who Cloud loves more: Aerith or Tifa?
What’s clear to me is that Squaresoft wanted Aerith to be the heroine of FFVII from the very beginning. The opening scene of the game revolves around Aerith, with the “LOVELESS” sign appearing above her. The juxtaposition of Aerith walking the streets of Midgar, with Cloud simultaneously jumping from the train, sets these two up as the primary characters & love interests of FFVII.
Star-crossed lovers. Their destiny & fates intertwined. Soulmates.
The creators of FFVII have stated that Aerith, Barret, and Cloud were the original three characters created for the game. This confirms that Squaresoft always intended Aerith to be the central female character & love interest for Cloud. Just look at the original & official artwork Squaresoft produced – it’s all of Cloud and Aerith together.
Let us also remember: Aerith is both the FIRST & LAST character we see in the entire game. In addition – Aerith was one of the ORIGINAL three characters created for FFVII. This confirms that Cloud and Aerith were meant to be together from the very beginning. The ORIGINAL hero & heroine.
Since 1997, I have always felt Cloud and Aerith were meant to be together. After finding Aerith looking beautiful under the “LOVELESS” sign, Cloud agrees to be Aerith’s bodyguard for the promise of one date. When Tifa asks Cloud to join AVALANCE, he only did so when Barret promised him more money. See the difference?
While Cloud was growing up, him and Tifa were childhood acquaintances – not friends or lovers. Tifa ignored Cloud when they were kids, allowed her friends to bully him, and excluded him (just like she did in the morning at Seventh Heaven during the Remake). As kids, Cloud and Tifa only had one conversation – a conversation Cloud doesn’t even remember. During this conversation, Cloud makes a friendly promise to Tifa – a promise Tifa begged Cloud to make (ie: “STRONG-ARMED”) – hardly a childhood romance. Meanwhile, Cloud and Aerith were both two lonely kids destined to meet and complete each other.
The facts are: Cloud only laughs and cries for one character in the entire game: Aerith. This suggests his emotional connection to Aerith is deeper than his emotional connection to Tifa. Even Tifa picks up on this, which leads her to having a jealous meltdown in the Shinra jail cells where she witnesses Cloud and Aerith developing their own “WORLD” together.
When Aerith dies, Cloud exclaims: “My fingers are tingling. My mouth is dry. My eyes are burning!” It is officially stated that Cloud’s “HEART” breaks when Aerith dies.
Even after Aerith dies, Cloud seeks the Promise Land so he can reunite with her. At the end of FFVII, Cloud exclaims: “…I think I’m beginning to understand. An answer from the planet…the Promised Land… I think I can meet her… there…” – anyone who doesn’t think Cloud is referring to Aerith is either an idiot or being purposely disingenuous. Furthermore, this quest for the Promise Land and search for Aerith (by Cloud only) is also included in numerous material Squaresoft has released since FFVII (ie: Final Fantasy Tactics, etc., etc.)
Furthermore, Cloud thought it was Aerith reaching down for him during the end of FFVII. It was ultimately Tifa who was reaching for Cloud, but his heart wanted it to be Aerith. See? Aerith is #1. Tifa is #2. That is how it has been from Day 1.
Even in Advent Children, Cloud is shown to be distant & cold towards Tifa while living in Aerith’s Church. If how Cloud acts toward Tifa, and where he’s living doesn’t tell you where his true feelings lie, I don’t know WHAT will.
Many Tifa supporters point to the VARIABLE Highwind scene as proof of Cloud and Tifa’s love. However, this scene doesn’t prove anything and is pure speculation (not to mention VARIABLE). Even if sex did occur, does sex automatically mean love? And would this have even taken place if Aerith had lived?
The fact remains: Aerith is the only character Cloud comes close to revealing his true feelings for. In Cosmo Canyon, Cloud says to Aerith: “But, I’m –I mean– we’re here for you, right?”
...the reason Cloud comes close to revealing his true feelings for Aerith is because of the wonderful chemistry & love the two have for one another.
Those that say Aerith was meant for Zack are also mistaken. Aerith states that she recognizes Cloud is different than Zack, saying to Cloud, “But you’re different. Things are different…” – Aerith loved Cloud for who he was and recognized that the past was the past.
Aerith also states in the OG that she wasn’t in a serious relationship with Zack, and that he was a real ladies man who probably moved on to someone else.
During Cloud’s and Aerith’s Golden Saucer date, Aerith confirms that although she initially liked Cloud because of Zack, she has grown to like Cloud for Cloud.
Finally – the official commercial approved & released by Squaresoft states: “A story of a love that could never be…” – obviously referring to Cloud and Aerith’s tragic star-crossed romance. This is also the official FFVII tagline.
Cloti supporters can dispute this all they want, but the official commercial (approved by Squaresoft) includes the word “Love” during the scene when Cloud holds Aerith in his arms. I need no more proof than this.
But if all this still doesn’t convince you, just go back and look at the official Amano artwork. 5 pieces exclusively of Cloud & Aerith together – the canon couple.
I’ll end with this...
Cait Sith:
“Looks good. You are perfect for each other!”
“Aerith’s star and Cloud’s star! They show a great future!”
You can claim Cait Sith isn’t always accurate with his predictions, but this was an obvious attempt by Squaresoft to further illustrate that Cloud and Aerith are meant to be.
“Poor Tifa!” ~Cait Sith
Want more reasons why Cloud and Aerith are the intended pairing of FFVII?
Go here: http://www.cloudandaerith.com/ – this website discredits every Cloti argument and lists all the wonderful & accurate reasons why Clerith is the **ORIGINAL** FFVII ship from 1997.
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headcanon: empathy, sympathy, pity.
or: how volo views the world through his own fishbowl lens, and how his empathy has twisted itself into something that doesn’t look like it normally should.
remember how i wanted to talk about volo’s fucked up empathy? let’s jump into that.
when it comes to a character who wishes to end the world, there’s a common debate on whether or not these kinds of characters practice empathy. in the thickets of fandom spaces, i’ve seen either side argued; a ‘yes’ or a ‘no’, and like all things on this blog, i’m inclined to think it’s a little more... complicated than that?
to start, i’ll say this: i don’t personally believe volo is a heartless person. but i also don’t believe volo is a bleeding heart, either.
volo is, after all, just a man. a man who has endured alluded to trauma, both generational and connected to his heritage / culture, and presumably very heartbreaking and painful situations based on what he says. he has seen history and its bloody, ugly bones, he has likely seen others suffer as he has if not worse, and has witnessed and been through enough to believe that change is not possible, but a full reset of everything is. there is no coming back, there is no change they can reach, they must start anew, and by someone who knows it best, under a god who will account for all the suffering in the world.
but he is also a man with a complex. he is someone who has deluded himself into believing he is grandiosely special, someone who is chosen and destined to meet with god, someone who is far greater than any other due to his destiny and the blood in his veins, that he is above many things for these reasons. he puts himself in the position of someone who is no man, but is someone meant for so much more, a being on par with divinity, who will reach apotheosis and bring forth a better world of his own plan. he views himself as the closest thing to god, a savior, and one who will become god and control creation at his fingertips. he has decided this. fate has decided this.
so, that begs the question: how does he feel with all this in mind? what does this do to his perspective?
there’s one word i’ve used consistently in writing him and i’ve always used it for a pretty good reason.
to put it simply: volo pities.
to be more precise: volo has a repeated behavior in-game where he looks and acts like he’s either very distant or purposefully separating himself from things ( people, places, affiliations, so on, outside of his roots ), and/or believing he is above it somehow. the way volo’s pity works is ironically similar to the god he chases and condemns: the best way to describe it, i think, is comparing it to that of a god looking down upon something that is small and pitiful, reserved and not personally involved, but they can recognize that this is, indeed, something very sad, he can acknowledge the tragedy of it, of what a shame it is that they must have gone through or endured these things.
i’ve talked plenty of times about how volo suffers from extreme tunnel vision, focusing heavily on his own grief and using others as means of justification of his own resolution to the problem. a good post that glazes over it is this one, where i still stand by the fact that while empathetic, volo’s empathy is very selfish and self-serving. your grief, suffering, and hardship are fuel to his ever-burning fire; he will remember and carry it with him up to god’s altar when he asks why, but he doesn’t care for if you want the world reset or not: your agony is clear to him, a bargaining piece, a shard to fix in his new world. this quote of his puts it best:
"You see, ever since I was young, whenever I met with something painful or heartbreaking... I couldn't help but wonder why life was so unfair. Why I was cursed to live through such things. Of course, I imagine we all go through something like that. “
i’ve bolded an important line here, because volo talks primarily of his own grief, first and foremost. he rattles on about his own hardships, the wounds still aching; he’s focused on it first, then tacks on that he imagines ‘we all go through something like that.’ this can be read as sort of a dismissive afterthought, as though he’s saying ‘yeah others probably feel this way, too.’ but i believe this is him setting up sympathies, evoking a sense of familiarity, and equally accounting for the fact that he has seen people suffer just as he has. he knows it isn’t just him, even if he’s centered on his own orbit; there are others in this world who have gone through similar hardships, and they are one of the many footnotes as to why this world must be reset. it is resounding for him, i think. hammering the point in. to himself, to the player; that if there are others, then the world must be reset, that they would want this too; this forces the player to think: do we all go through something like that? are there others who feel this way, too? do we, as the player, feel this way as well?
that’s not to say volo is cruel about it. hardly so. if you were to bare your heart to him, then he will fall into his savior complex easily. become the shoulder you need, become the hands you need to hold you upright when the world feels as though it will shatter beneath you, the arms you can allow yourself to crumble into. he will comfort you, he will console you with soft words that sound sympathetic, gentle touches if you want them - validate your hurt your anger, your upset, your grief. he will sympathize, he will let you vent it out, he will dry your tears, he will become whatever pillar of strength and hope you require. for as much as he blathers, he’s good at it; the listening, the consoling. the whispering of promises for a better world, with the ambition to back it up if he has tried to instill this into you. someone who understands, who is hearing you, who is listening to you, who is seeing your grief and says ‘i’m sorry that this happened to you.’ ( this too is manipulative in a way, but what isn’t about him? )
...but does he relate to you? does his heart bleed for you? no, not exactly. i believe he can recognize the grief, the tragedy, he can recognize your sadness and he can pity with all he has; he feels bad for you, for your situation. his expression may turn somber, or he may scowl at the heavens. but this is less to do with you, on a level that is intimate and personal, and more struggle in his faith, a sisyphean feeling in regards to arceus; he wonders, how can a god with a heart do this? how can a god that is claimed to be compassionate and good and true able to allow these tragedies to roll by? he may feel anger at your situation, but it is all anger that is directed at god. he feels, intensely as he tends to, but not to the point of being blinded by it. there is a line he must draw. distance he must retain.
something i’ve meant to talk about in my future headcanon explaining how he manipulates is that he can recognize when someone has suffered just like he has. he can find these threads of similarity, but he does not outright relate to you: instead, he acknowledges it and uses it to his own advantage but again, remains distant and detached. this will get its own post, but hey, it’s still worth noting.
he cannot put himself in your shoes - in the same way he avoids getting attached to people in general, because this world is going to end sooner than later - and walk through your steps because it is beneath him to do so, but he can carry you over the ledges and the rifts and the mountains. he struggles to relate to you, on a non-superficial level, but most important is that he cannot bleed himself dry for you, because a god without blood will be too weak to lift the new world up. so instead, he looks down upon you.
“but lucian,” you say. “if he pities people, what about how carelessly he talks about how everyone will die when the world is reset?” and to it i say to you: i think it’s still a little complicated!
with that quote, this one:
"Of course, if I create a brand-new world, then the Hisui region that we currently exist in will be undone and returned to nothing. You, everyone you know, and all the Pokémon living here will vanish in an instant, as if you'd never been."
i’ve seen this argued in favor of him having no empathy, and while i respect that analysis, i don’t personally view it as the case. i think here, he displays a few things:
1.) he has already decided on this goal a long, long time ago. while not spoiling my written headcanon on his motivations, it is worth noting that he is also curious about the power arceus holds, and i’m sure he is of the belief that if there was someone he wished to bring over, why would he be unable to? he is delusional and on a power high, and thoroughly convinced this is possible.
2.) even if that weren’t possible, then this will not stop him. he has already been dead-set on what the outcome is, and there is nothing good without a little sacrifice. it is sad that people will lose their lives in this world if he recreates it, yes; tragic, definitely, these are things he can absolutely recognize. but he must do what he has to, and this is not something that will make him hesitate or reconsider. what must be done, must be done. their lives are already so filled with suffering and doomed: it is best to end them early before misery sets, and give them a brand new shot in the new world. the ends justify the means.
3.) he is likely saying this to also provoke the player, while not being dishonest about it: because he demands that they must fight beneath god’s eye, because that is what he wants. he wants to bid a show for arceus, to prove that he is the one that should be rightfully chosen, and then get rid of you, so that someone like you doesn’t dare oppose him.
in the end... your grief is something he considers pitiful; people are pitiful souls and pokemon are pitiful beasts, and he will drink your sorrows from the well to fill his ambitions whole.
#hc.#study.#blows dust off this hc.......#mario voice here we gooOOOOUGH#no more putting him in absolutes of 'actually he's good ):' or 'hehe him evil >:)' we have mved past the need for absolutes he's jsut Gray#listening to a very fucked up song i do not know the name of while writing this really help set the vibe i think#Vologelion 3.0: You Can[not] Fix Him
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[CN] Season 2 Summary (Volume 3: Ch 6 - 9)
🍒 Warning: Detailed spoilers from S2 🍒
Along with the update on 3 June 2021, the CN server released a “Plot Review” which contains bullet-point summaries of S2 :>
Volume 2 Summary: here
You and Shaw are in the middle of the railway tracks. Watching as the train gets closer and closer, Shaw shields you, leaving the tracks
All of a sudden, two more people make an entrance. Shaw hides you, then confronts the two of them by himself. They appear to be investigating something. It’s a pity that before they can ask about anything, the entire passage collapses abruptly
Fortunately, Shaw brings you out safely. The misunderstanding between the both of you is cleared up
With your deliberately designed “trick” during the conversation, Shaw tells you that he came here to investigate a historical ruins. Since you’re also investigating it, you hope that Shaw can share and exchange resources
“Fine, I promise you.”
You head to the Black Swan building to attend a board meeting. During the meeting, the members of the organisation once again use the “Small Syringes” incident to criticise you. The BOSS, Victor, doesn’t say a word
“Without my permission, you’re not allowed to do investigations in private.”
Knowing that Victor is worried about your safety, inexplicable emotions occupy your heart
Afterwards, you realise that Victor met with a second shooting incident at the roof of LFG last week! Very quickly, you discover that the weapons were purchased by Gray Rhino. But these overt clues seem to be part of a scheme, making you recall the Evolver assassination incidents from before
In the evening, you’re held under duress by Set, an ex-member of Black Swan. He is seeking to find experimental records related to CORE from 17 years ago
According to information he somehow acquired from Gray Rhino, these records will appear in an auction this evening. At this moment, Victor appears, and willingly follows along
At the venue of the auction, the surroundings suddenly turn pitch-black following a loud cracking sound. In the chaos, you decide to seize this opportunity to search for that document. Unexpectedly, someone got to it first. Based on the memories you read, the document should have been entrusted to a bank, and placed in a safe vault
However, when the safe is opened up, there’s nothing inside. It turns out that this incident was a trap
Pretending to have the documents, you plan to flee with Victor while tossing them to Set. However, Victor brings you to a lift in the depths of the safe vault. What’s above is actually a building of a bank
In a small room, Victor stands before the window, looking at the quiet and pitch-black street. For now, the both of you are safe
“We need to find a way to leave.”
Victor heads outside. While you’re pondering over the incident in the room alone, the surveillance monitor outside the door shows that someone’s coming. After a moment of contemplation, you leap off the balcony, planning to use the balcony underneath the window as a buffer
While falling, you can feel time pausing for an instant
Because Victor was worried about your safety, he used his Evol
The car meant for the evacuation has been prepared. After having a change of clothes, Victor takes you out of this place. Perhaps furious at how you acted presumptuously without considering your own safety, Victor remains silent during the journey
You understand that he’s worried about you, and try to show that you’ve reflected upon yourself
“At all times, you have to take care of yourself for me.”
In the Black Swan building, the two of you analyse that the dangers from yesterday seemed to be a test. Victor gives you a document - in the capacity of a punter, he has entered the Hunter Game
His trust, a sense of security, and the motivation to get things done - you know that these are things Victor has given to you
"All you have to focus on is taking large strides and continue running forward.”
After parting ways with Victor, you return to your usual work
“Miracle Finder” has been receiving extensive attention recently due to the past spate of incidents
You discover that Lucien has expressed his support for the show on the internet
After expressing your gratitude to Lucien, you invite him to a hospital which exclusively admits Evolvers for treatments. There, you interview people who have used the “Small Syringes”, gathering materials for a show
In the middle of an interview, the director of the hospital tells the both of you that a few Evolvers who used the “Small Syringes” experienced pathological changes. However, Lucien points out that the pathological changes may not have a causal relation with the “Small Syringes”
You and Lucien delve further into the topic of Evol. When the topic of Evol and evolution crops up, he invites you to attend an external class he’s conducting at a museum which has “evolution” as its theme
The next day, you head there as agreed
While having a look around, Lucien engages his students in a scientific debate related to “evolution” and “sacrifice”
His thoughts have never changed. However, your way of thinking has changed from before, back when you had no idea about anything
You notice that there’s a stone tablet in the museum with the symbol “8″ engraved on it
“The beginning and ending of a civilisation is akin to this symbol - its start and end are linked together.”
After sending the students back on the bus, you and Lucien take a stroll along the seaside. All of a sudden, you hear an inexplicable electronic sound announcing that the both of you are currently in the Hunter Game
While discussing with Lucien whether the game could be an imitation of the experiment from 17 years ago, you ask him to hide in a police box that you can “see”. At this moment, you suddenly find yourself falling back into the museum from earlier. But when you take a careful look, the surroundings turn into a patch of empty space
Only now do you realise that everything you “saw” earlier could have been an illusion
On the other side, Lucien never actually saw that police box you mentioned. Right now, he can see that you’re in an open and spacious room, feeling around the walls
Lucien realises that there seems to be a glass separating the both of you. Neither of you can hear the other party
Lucien places his hand on the glass. At this moment, you happen to press your hand there too, covering his palm which is separated by the glass
“Why... why exactly are you...”
You finally locate the “hidden button” separating illusion from reality, leaving this strange space and joining Lucien
The abrupt electronic sound rings again. Before you, the scene instantly morphs into an abandoned building. Other players chase after the both of you, engaging in close combat
You and Lucien discuss your current situations in the game, and how to escape
“We have a simpler way.”
Making use of the folding space, Lucien instantly brings you back to the seaside during the stroll earlier
You ask Lucien if he believes that the world can go backwards while making forward progress
Lucien says that if civilisation exists in a cycle, it is possible for the world to reflect the past. But the further one walks forward, the more opportunities one has to seize one’s own destiny
“Being able to persist in your dreams is already very good.”
A few days later, Shaw takes you to the antique store to exchange leads as promised
“Returning to the main point, get that painted scroll, and be gentle.”
Faced with your series of questions, Shaw says that these symbols are merely totems. No one knows what’s within the ruins, and wanting to get in poses great difficulty
While speaking, a man clothed in black barges in, demanding leads from Shaw
Naturally unwilling to give in obediently, Shaw and the man are embroiled in a fight. In order to assist Shaw, you work together with him. By overturning a gigantic water jar, the water guides the electricity, successfully striking the man clothed in black
Not wanting the man to leave, Shaw sends you away in a hurry
“I’m tired. I’ll leave the investigation to you.”
Behind you, a wounded Shaw sits in the antique store by himself, his body temperature abnormally high
You and Savin are at the airport to pick Kiro up from his overseas trip where he “took a breather”. In actual fact, his location was unknown. While you’re feeling uneasy, and didn’t expect him to actually appear
When you and Kiro return to the rehearsal room, he quickly pulls you into an embrace
You repeatedly ask Kiro why he had to remain in the arena the last time, what happened afterwards, and why he had to hide it from you
“But when you’re with me, I always can’t help but worry about you, and hope you can be as far away from this place as possible.”
You suddenly receive an anonymous phone call which tells you to put a stop to today’s news conference. However, you ignore it
When the event is about to begin, Savin can’t be found. While you’re feeling confused, you and Kiro receive a disjointed call from him. Locating his position, the two of you realise that he’s on an empty train which should have ceased operations, but is moving forward
Ah Liu, who has the ability to transfer objects, sends you and Kiro onto the train to find Savin. Aside from that, you spot a youth
This youth is called Xiao Nan, and he has an Evol related to magnetic fields. He’s the one who made the train move, and plans to cause the train to go off the rails, crashing into the civilians who have gathered to attend Kiro’s conference for his new song. He had warned you about cancelling the conference, but you had failed to note just how critical the situation was back then
Through sieving through Xiao Nan’s memories, you discover that Gray Rhino had instigated him into doing work for the organisation as he was bullied and humiliated since young for having Evol
The youth wants to leave this extreme organisation, but he’s afraid because he has done wrong things. Kiro reassures him by talking about his own experiences in youth, which are similar to Xiao Nan’s. He also tells the youth that he has to face his difficulties with courage, and find his place in the world
The youth is finally swayed, and he does his best to stop the train
Unfortunately, the train continues to travel due to inertia. Kiro tells you to leave first and evacuate the crowd in the plaza. Meanwhile, he will stay behind to think of a way to stop the train
In order to draw the crowd away, you change into a teddy bear mascot costume, announcing that this is one phase of Kiro’s announcement of his new song
The fans are successfully drawn away, but you end up being chased by them. When you’re at your wit’s end, someone suddenly grabs your hand. He removes your headgear - it’s Kiro
“Not a minute or second late. I’m punctual for the appointment.”
Kiro brings you through small corners to leave the crowd, then returns to the stage at the conference, bringing the event to a perfect end
During the celebratory banquet, Kiro sees that you have a worried expression on your face. He reassures you earnestly that as long as you’re by his side, he’s happy
The night grows dark, and a dash of silver flashes on the roof of the Black Swan building - it’s Helios
He appears to be talking to someone
I’m not helping you to do anything. You have no right to give me orders.
Not long after you leave the building, Helios hops back in, and he sees the experiment report you left behind
“I command the both of you - forget everything that happened earlier.”
You receive a call from Gavin - he needs your help
In the STF, Gavin mentions that he has a unique witness, and he needs the help of your Evol to read his memories
It turns out that someone was shot at the train station, and the witness happens to be an elderly man who is blind. You do your best, concentrating to sense what you can. Unfortunately, you aren’t of much help
While Gavin sends you back, the both of you pass by a stall. You make the impulsive decision to pull him along to play a shooting game
While leaving, the sky suddenly begins to pour. Gavin removes his jacket and covers the roof of your heads
“Let’s go. The journey isn’t long. I’ll send you home.”
You suddenly recall that in high school, Gavin coursed through the curtain of rain just like this. Everything seems to a certain miraculous overlap
Not long after, another Evolver dies an unnatural death, and you realise that the victim is Xiao Nan
Faced with the death of this youth, you’re unwilling to sit by and do nothing. While investigating the scene of the crime, you spot a suspicious man. Chasing after him, you arrive at an unfinished building. Unexpectedly, you meet Gavin in the building
You explain why you've appeared in the building to Gavin, and he tells you that he’s currently on a mission, and suggests that the both of you look around for leads
“Right now, staying by my side is the safest.”
When you step on a protruding object, a gigantic explosion causes the ground to turn into an artificial precipice. The man who lured you here reveals himself
During this confrontation, the ceiling above you explodes and collapses. It seems that this was a trap to lure the STF over
You toss out a mini flash bomb, then pull Gavin along to escape. After conjecturing that there are many automatic explosives in this building, Gavin holds onto you, using his Evol to send the both of you to the 30th floor
After finding the main device and wanting to dismantle it, the man appears again, lifting his gun and taking aim at the device
The man is extremely enraged with the STF, as though the STF has concealed an important truth
You confront the man while Gavin focuses on dismantling the device. At a crucial point, you shoot the man in the lower leg to stop him from taking action. As expected, Gavin successfully dismantles the device
“Only when you're alive can you find the truth that you seek.”
Likely moved by Gavin’s determination, the man chooses to trust Gavin, and asks him about something before he leaves
You and Gavin finally leave the building. He carries you as he flies into the city. Feeling his warmth, you feel incomparably at ease
Right after reaching the ground, a young man dressed in uniform requests for you to cooperate with him in an investigation, as you’ve become a suspect for the Evolver assassination incidents. He also provides evidence that are stacked against you
Even though all the evidence is unfavourable to you, Gavin says that he will investigate the truth of the case, and will definitely protect you
“Regardless of position, I’ll never let you get caught up in danger.”
Volume 4 (Ch 10 - 13): here
More S2 content: here
A detailed translation of Gavin’s part is available here!
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02 and the question of “what a life is”
One topic more specific to 02 is the question of what exactly counts as being “alive”, which is initially brought up as a question when Ken discarding the Kaiser persona is directly caused by the revelation that he might have misjudged this, leading into the second half of the series where other issues reveal that it’s not as easy of a question as one thinks. In the end, 02 never gives a concrete answer about what constitutes the boundary between something that’s “alive” and “not alive” -- but, being a series that’s very much about pragmatism, gives a much clearer answer as to what one should do about it.
While it’s not named directly in the series itself (I’m not sure if this specific named concept was the intent, as it’s since expanded to become a fairly ubiquitous theme in sci-fi and fantasy overall), 02 deals heavily with a question related to a thought experiment called the “Chinese room problem”, which originated as a question related to artificial intelligence development and has since expanded into having philosophical and spiritual nuances (perhaps fittingly for Digimon Adventure, which is heavily about digital technology and sci-fi but mixes it with a lot of philosophical and spiritual imagery).
The Chinese room problem goes like this: let’s say you’re a person who has never learned, studied, or grown up with the Chinese language (or, really, any language you can’t understand or read; Chinese was only used as an example because the person explaining the thought experiment was using himself as an example and couldn’t read or understand it). You’re locked in a room that has a bunch of Chinese phrasebooks that give you instructions -- basically, they indicate common Chinese phrases, and sensible responses you can give to them (without actually translating it to a language you know). Someone slips you a piece of paper under the door with some Chinese phrases on them. You use the phrasebooks to write appropriate responses, and slip the paper back. The person outside the door reads the paper, sees what they gave you, and sees the response you gave them. It makes sense, of course, because the phrasebook told you to write an answer that made sense. But can you be said to actually understand Chinese? No, because you were just following instructions without actually understanding what they meant.
So let’s expand this to make it a bit more complicated: say you have an AI or a robot or something of the sort that accepts “input” -- people saying things to it, or showing it things -- and gives expected “responses” that seem sensible, through a bunch of complicated programs and processes in its programming. Can you say this robot is “alive”? One might say “no”, because, no matter how complicated and intricate it is, all of it is technically following a set of routine commands telling it to do certain things in response...or so you might say, but couldn’t you say the same thing about a human brain, which also takes input, processes it according to its own instructions (just caused by chemical processes instead of bytes and code), and creates output? After a certain point, this question is going to become far more of a philosophical, spiritual, and potentially even religious question than anything.
Adventure and 02 undoubtedly have a very spiritual element to it, given the heavy usage of Neoplatonic themes, the concept of “destiny” that hangs heavily over it, and the fact that Digimon themselves are heavily linked to spiritual things like Japanese youkai or other spirits and literally being part of the human soul. Digimon partners are treated as part of their partners’ human psyches, yet are also treated as individuals. And, in the end, it’s driven home that Digimon are made out of data -- but “digital technology” is treated as something that can communicate with such spiritual things. So here’s the question: At what point can a Digimon be called a living being?
Well, really, the first time this had really been brought up was the allusion to the issue in Adventure episode 20 -- when Taichi takes the revelation of the Digital World being a “digital” world a bit too literally and decides to treat it as a game, acting a bit too recklessly as a result. Koushirou himself buys into the theory of “real bodies” (which turns out to be false; this isn’t a Matrix situation where their bodies are sleeping somewhere, but they are actually being migrated here), but the point by the end of this episode is: just because everything is “data” doesn’t mean you get to treat it any less lightly. Do not treat the Digital World like a “game world” or something you can fiddle with at will.
Even if the technicals may make it seem like a computer, the reality of the situation is that everything you do has a permanent effect that you cannot instantly take back. It doesn’t matter what it’s “made” up out of; the issue is more about what you do, and the practical impact it has on what’s around you. (This will very important for later, so keep this in mind as we go.)
So by the time we get to 02, the first time this issue is brought up again is in 02 episode 20, when Ken, as the Kaiser, recognizes the kids’ Digimon Baby forms as the “plushies” he’d seen them carrying in real life during the soccer match back in 02 episode 8, which reveals a lot about his mentality in approaching the Digital World and Digimon -- he’d been under the impression that Digimon couldn’t leave it, apparently, and that they were therefore all part of a simulated game. Driving it in further is that Wormmon refers to the Digimon having “bodies” (as in, physical bodies), which trips Ken’s radar that there’s a lot more to this than he’d thought. There’s also a lot of evidence that Ken wasn’t just solely trying to buy into this concept for the sake of denial and self-justification; up until this point, he’d been noticeably hesitant to physically harm other humans, so he really did buy into there being a substantial difference here.
...But, funnily enough, we later learn in a flashback in 02 episode 23 that Ken didn’t necessarily always have this attitude of “Digimon aren’t living beings, so I get to do whatever I want with them” back during his original adventures with Wormmon in the Digital World. One could argue that maybe he “knew” that Digimon were alive back then and the Dark Seed just made him forget through trauma, but even Taichi hardly treated the Digimon badly back when he thought that everything was a “game” back in Adventure (rather, he was reckless with himself more than anything). Later in this very series, there’ll end up being a massive debate on what exactly constitutes a Digimon having a “soul”. No, the real issue is actually...
What tips Ken over the edge into discarding the Kaiser persona is empathy -- when he retroactively reflects on the implications of the Digimon being “alive” meaning that every single action he’d done had an impact on causing “pain” or “torture” on others. That’s why it didn’t matter so much to him back then, because he was willing to treat Wormmon with the respect of a living being, regardless of what he was made out of (and, really, humans are more likely to be kind to things than otherwise, even when they’re supposedly “artificial”; for an extreme example, see how people are inclined to treat their robotic vacuum cleaners like family members, or have a hard time picking rude choices in video games, and those are all things you have much less of an argument for there being any actual pain inflicted).
And, hence, the main reason why the kids rail so much on the Kaiser for suggesting the heresy of “resetting the Digital World”: because he’s treating something with the gravity of “reality” like it’s something he can just toy with for his own convenience. Who cares what it’s made up of? There are actual civilizations building a livelihood here and “living beings” that can feel pain or show emotion. Nobody ever gave the kids immediate knowledge that Digimon have souls or any higher answer like that -- it’s just that the Kaiser is a callous, unempathetic jerk who’s willing to toy with so many lives and living individuals for his own pleasure. And, most importantly, everything the Kaiser has done here is something he can’t take back, and has to accept the consequences of; this wasn’t a place where he could vent out his feelings of being unable to “take back” Osamu’s death and treat everything lightly.
It doesn’t actually matter what it’s made up of -- the fact is that they act like living beings, show obvious personal feelings and a propensity to feel pain, and thus have the right to be treated as such. If you’re practically able to observe this, then you should be respecting that.
Once Archnemon takes over the position as most prominent antagonist, the kids start dealing with her Dark Tower Digimon that she uses to indiscriminately destroy things. This initially creates a lot of confusion for the kids, especially when Ken and Stingmon so easily kill Thunderballmon and it looks to them like he’s gone right back into sadism after supposedly being reformed -- thus, this would provide an issue with Ken’s apparent lack of empathy if he’s allowed to keep going, because he (seemingly) hasn’t learned his lesson and will go on to keep hurting more victims.
When Golemon goes to destroy the dam, it’s repeatedly commented on how unusual it is for a Digimon to just go and destroy a dam for no reason except to ruin people’s lives -- even the enemies back in Adventure at least had a power-hungry motive, and the non-verbal “wild” ones back in File Island were ultimately territorial at worst, and certainly not interested in wanton destruction without reason. On top of that, in fact, only two people -- Iori and Miyako -- in this group of five are actually that vehemently in favor of trying to spare Golemon for the sheer reason of it being a living being -- Daisuke starts to consider the fact that it may become necessary to save potential victims before Ken is even brought into the picture, Takeru points out how close they are to push-coming-to-shove, and Hikari clearly laments the fact it may become possible but doesn’t take nearly of the strong “we absolutely cannot do this” stance that Iori and Miyako have. And, after all, Takeru and Hikari were there back in Adventure when killing some very sentient Digimon became necessary, and learned that it may be something you have to do if you want to prevent more victims, and Daisuke had personally been a victim of Vamdemon back in 1999 and also happens to be one of the most pragmatic in this group.
Thus, the reveal that Golemon is actually a Dark Tower Digimon confirms two things for them: firstly, that it’s very unlikely that Golemon is powered by anything but a sheer instinct of wanton destruction, and secondly, that Ken does, indeed, have a concept of empathy. The kids had already noticed that something was “unusual” about Golemon in that it seemed to be incapable of independent action, just an order to “mindlessly destroy”, and it being what the series refers to as “a Dark Tower in the shape of a Digimon” just happens to confirm that it may not actually be that capable of independent action or emotion -- which they then realize that Ken also realized, and thus that he wasn’t killing Digimon out of callousness. This is, also, effectively, the same reason they’d been okay with killing Chimeramon earlier -- because there was absolutely no evidence that it had been capable of sentient reason or anything besides “destruction on instinct”.
So, again: their judgment on the situation is based on a practical observation about whether the entity in question was capable of having emotions or independent thought, and, again, a question of empathy...
...because we learn that the same process, when applied to enough Dark Towers, is enough to create a Digimon who is capable of that kind of independent thought and doesn’t feel up to taking orders, regardless of whether Archnemon is his “creator” or not. So we’ve got a demonstration of a Digimon who’s clearly capable of independent thought in ways the other Dark Tower Digimon are not (he even voices “envy” for the other single-tower Digimon Archnemon creates for being unable to think about anything), and starts exhibiting irrational behavior and the concept of “emotions”.
Recall the issue of the Chinese room problem: if we’re talking about a room of phrasebooks that simply take one input and export output, you, in the middle of the room, can’t really be said to be “understanding” Chinese. But the more complex the inputs and expected outputs get, the more complicated and intricate and explanatory those phrasebooks are going to need to be, and at some point, given a complicated enough question you get, if you’re capable of answering that in the same way a human might be expected to, that information in the phrasebooks will have to be explanatory enough to an extent you’ll be said to understand Chinese. Exactly “how complicated” or “how nuanced” does a program get before we tip that boundary? Clearly there is some difference between BlackWarGreymon and the other Dark Tower Digimon, but what is it?
And when 02 episode 32 comes around and Agumon decides to have a little bonding chat with BlackWarGreymon, even he can't answer the question definitively as to what a "soul" or “heart” is -- nobody in this narrative can, and this series has no answer. There’s no real clear-cut rule as to the boundary as to when one can be considered sentient. But while Agumon may not be able to immediately yank out deep philosophy, he at least has a deep level of insight and understanding as to what it means -- you have feelings for others, you have emotions, you have things you want that aren’t necessarily what others expect you to do, and you can bring your own perspective to the table.
The debate over what to do with this also leads to the rift between Takeru and Iori that they have to work towards mending during their Jogress arc -- Takeru’s trauma regarding Patamon in Adventure has spiraled him all the way over into prejudice against anything related to the darkness, and Iori, who understands there’s more to the situation than that, but also happens to be on the other extreme of considering it immoral to kill anything regardless of whether it’s about to murder a ton of other victims while it’s at it.
Ultimately, Adventure and 02 is a narrative that prioritizes “pragmatism” first, and the moment it’s made clear BlackWarGreymon isn’t going to cause problems anymore, the kids all decide it’s fine to let him be. In the end, whether BlackWarGreymon is “alive” is a philosophical question, but...
...whether they should hold back in fighting just to “spare lives” really has no bearing on that question. Enemies like LadyDevimon and the other Digimon the kids are ultimately forced to end up fighting are clearly alive with their own emotions -- it’s just that those emotions do happen to be uncontrolled sadism and an active desire for wanton destruction. Miyako herself even observes that LadyDevimon is a “coward” -- but she’s also still emotionally torn by the fact they end up killing her, and the story also doesn’t give her grief for this, because there’s no sin for her to have empathy. She recognized what it meant to kill a life, but they also cannot be blamed for taking that life in the process of saving multiple others. The issue of “whether it’s alive or not” had always been a separate question from the morality of fighting said lives -- and, either way, it’s still valuable that characters like Hikari, Miyako, and the other Chosen Children aren’t necessarily doing this because they like doing it, because it’s still important to keep that feeling of “empathy” in their hearts, even if push did ultimately come to shove.
So when BlackWarGreymon does return, again, nobody has an answer for him on whether he has a soul or not, but in 02 episode 47, Agumon, V-mon, and Wormmon encourage him to embrace the concept of life by “experiences” -- happiness, sadness, pain, playing and enjoying life with those you care about. Because those experiences are “real”, and Agumon himself says that “those experiences have made me who I am”; regardless of the higher philosophical question of whether he has a soul or not, he’s still someone who’s capable of having experiences and acting based on his memory of them, and that’s what’s really important. And hence, when BlackWarGreymon sacrifices himself one episode later, it’s because he understands the meaning of “doing something for others”, and is also implicitly mourned by the other Digimon, who had never failed to see him as “someone they could have befriended”, regardless of what he had originally been made up of.
It’s also why the kids are so traumatized by Archnemon and Mummymon’s deaths in 02 episode 48 -- they had no reason to be personally attached to them prior to that, and Archnemon had even said that her personal goals were nothing but wanton destruction in 02 episode 29 (which had been the first time Iori had really considered that pacifism may not be completely possible here). All of the wacky hijinks between the two of them had largely been outside of their view. But even back in 02 episodes 36-37, the kids had understood that there was some degree that they were harmless if left alone, and in the end, they watched Archnemon die in unambiguous pain and Mummymon die in the name of true love, by dying in a suicide attack because of his despair over losing her.
Archnemon and Mummymon had ultimately turned out to be “artificial lives” on their own, created at the hands of Oikawa to be his minions, and also somewhat guided by “wanton destruction” and not entirely fully aware of what they wanted to do independent of him -- BlackWarGreymon’s existential crisis had caused them to question their place in the world in 02 episode 47...and quickly shrug it off again. Could you say anything about whether they were alive or not, or whether they had souls? Perhaps it doesn’t really matter -- whether or not they were able to fully have deep thought the same way BlackWarGreymon and the other Digimon had, they at the very least were able to feel attachment and pain, and that alone deserved to be respected.
In the end, you could say that’s 02′s answer -- or non-answer -- to the Chinese room problem. You may not be able to answer the intrinsic philosophical question of whether it’s got a “soul” or is “alive” or not, but if it’s clearly demonstrating an observable and practical phenomenon of showing emotions, acting on some degree of independent will, taking in experiences and acting on them, and being able to feel a sense of pain, then you should still treat it with the appropriate amount of empathy -- regardless of what it’s made out of.
Incidentally, we do actually get a very small revisiting of this topic in Kizuna, when Menoa creates a ton of Eosmon by “scientific” methods -- and, much like the Dark Tower Digimon, they’re not recognized as living beings by anyone in this narrative, because their behavior is clearly that of mindlessly following Menoa’s orders; Yamato won’t consider it a Digimon, and Menoa herself even acknowledges that this is in no way a real “partner” like her true one, Morphomon. What does get Menoa to recognize Morphomon within Eosmon is when it does one thing -- smile -- that’s clearly outside that view, and an obvious show of independent emotion, leading Menoa to realize that her true, living partner may be closer than she’d thought.
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The Joan Jett Quartet
Word Count: 3500
Warnings: NC-17 BDSM, extreme language, consensual bondage and paddling
A/N: Decided to do a short series of erotic drabbles based around Klaus x Reader during his first year with Destiny's Children. They'll be "Tied" together with "Do You Wanna Touch Me There?"
Tag List: @robertsheehanownsmyass @frogs--are--bitches @firstpersonnarrator @elliethesuperfruitlover @rob-private @forenschik @super-unpredictable98 @bisexualnathanyoung @messengeronthemoon @magic-multicolored-miracle
Book 2- Bad Reputation (Klaus x Fem!Reader)**
There was no doubt you had been on a complete power trip after your tryst with Klaus and the table. Smug satisfaction on your lips everytime the two of you passed one another in the mansion. You held your head high while all he did in return was roll his eyes and shake his head, cheeks flush.
The last straw for Klaus was one moment when you passed one another on the stairs. You held your fingers up in a V-shape in front of your mouth, snaking your tongue in and out obscenely. He grabbed you by the wrist and yanked your body flush with his. Your heart raced with desire as those exasperated eyes glared at you.
“You've been telling others our secrets,” his voice low.
“Of course. They're my friends, and they are interested in why The Prophet keeps choosing me to meet behind closed doors. I didn't know it was a secret, ” you grasped his neck with your free hand and tightened so that your nails dug into his skin, “these proclivities.”
There was a sharp intake of breath as Klaus visibly shook under your grip. An erection twitched against your hip and grew the tighter you clutched. Then suddenly lifted your chin upward. His thumb pressed hard into the bone so you could only look him in the eye.
“If I wanted any of them to know what gets me off, I could've asked any number to play with me. I'm pretty fucking sure they'd be better at it, too. Uppity bitch with your uninspired tit fucking. too good for the strap-on unlike Jill and Kitty.”
Your heart fell and pounded in your ears the entire way down. But you remembered yourself and him. How the game could start any time he felt up to it. An unspoken contract the moment you agreed to restrain him and dominate him. This was just payback because you made Klaus human to the other Children.
“It's my turn to play”
Your face was hot with want. There was a wetness between your legs at the thought of it. His lips moved centimeters from yours so you could breathe what he exhaled. Your hips ground into him.
“Bring a blindfold,” Klaus instructed. “I'll bring the paddle”
------
You stood in the living area of Klaus’s wing. You shifted from barefoot to barefoot in a large sweater and your underwear. Your hair twisting and untwisting around a finger without thought. The sleep mask you brought as a blindfold laid out on the arm of the sofa. You shocked yourself that the sight of a paddle, makeshift in haste from a kid’s toy, turned you on.
“Can't say sorry for being late,” The sound of Klaus’s voice made you jump out of your skin. A sly grin spread across his face, “Nervous, doll?”
He stood in front of you now, that long beard gone and his hair wrapped up in a bun. “Couldn't get the fucking thing off. (It was fake) At least that's one secret you've kept.” His hand ran down your arm and waist around to your ass which he rubbed all too briefly.
Now Klaus leaned in to kiss your forehead and cheeks before lifting your chin so that his lips could meet yours. “You totally get that you're one of two people I trust in this room?”
You looked around assuming he meant himself. “Yes.”
“And you get that I've been mostly myself with you.” You nodded an understanding. “Good girl. You definitely fucked that up by gossiping about me, so I have GOT to punish your insolence. Can't have you squawking to the other chickens in the henhouse that the fox enjoys being pecked.”
Klaus laughed at his own metaphor. Not maniacal, in an honest giggle the way he did when he found himself truly humorous. You loved that about him. He could command attention with his “sermons,” but in your bedroom the nights he came to you? He thrived on making you smile.
His face became serious again, “This isn't some master slave bullshit either. I was raised by servants, and trust me it fucking bothers me. Mom, a bit mechanical as she was, managed fine on her own.”
Klaus was lost in thought but shook his head. He made his way behind you and spoke in your ear, “I just like playing with you. You choke me and fuck me while I lose consciousness. I spank you and make you swallow my cum until you learn to keep secrets. And if you're good, I'll fuck you too.”
The breath caught in your throat at how casual he was. How he brought sexual freedom to you and the others. Nothing was too perverse as long as everyone agreed, and you consented to this eagerly.
“Good. Now the safe words,” he fitted the sleep mask down over your eyes, “are Spice Girls.”
“What?” you snickered.
There was a swift open handed slap on your ass that stung beautifully, “Correct response is?”
“Yes, Prophet.”
“I want you to take your sweater off, but as you do stand with your feet slightly apart. Then bend forward.”
The chill in the air caused your skin to goose pimple as soon as your sweater left your body. You complied, unable to tell which direction Klaus was coming from. Your heart raced with excitement.
As you leaned forward, his hand caught you by the throat. The other warm and flat on your back. He ran it over your spine and to your ass which he rubbed before he gave another slap. This time even harder to your delight. When you didn't flinch, he repeated himself. Harder still. Once more before he dipped his hand between your legs and rubbed your sex through your panties.
“I figured you may enjoy the same things I do. Look how wet you already are, and I haven't even used the paddle. And this ass, honestly there's so much to work with. More men should appreciate a thick one.”
The friction of Klaus’s hand picked up as he kept working you through the fabric. Then he withdrew it and that pleasured sting came one more time. Harder. You choked on a moan.
Over the backs of your thighs now and over the hips his hand went. “These hips too. Perfect for when I want to ride you like we're dogs or tease that little asshole.”
That part wasn't really a turn on to you. When Klaus played with you there, unable to switch off how he might please a male lover from a female.
Your thoughts fell away as that roaming hand took hold of your panties and removed them. The hitch in your throat as you felt him tug you forward with the hand on your neck. Klaus massaged your naked sex with the palm of his hand. The heel found your clit and pressed into it before you knew he had pulled back and raised his hand. He brought it down with such force on your bare ass that you lurched forward. It was wet.
“Now you're quiet?” Klaus inquired. “I wonder how long the chicken can go before the fox makes her cluck?”
There was a rush to your head as he righted you. He unhooked your bra and removed that too. Klaus pinched your nipple. Then the other. He traced the erect skin with a fingertip. Your back arched because his body leaned into you. The loose tendrils from his bun splayed across your chest as he bit the top of both of your tits. Still no sound.
“You're tits are, like, the perfect fucking size for how large my hands are,” each word emphasized by a hard squeeze as he roughly kneaded them.
Without warning, Klaus dropped them and dipped his fingers inside you. He pumped them deftly in and out, circling your clit and worked it until you started to pulsate. He drove you just mad enough.
“I can't believe how fucking wet you are. Do I make you cum?” Klaus’s fingers moved quickly and your legs started to shake. “Do I punish you some more?” Fingers out of you, hand on your throat to swing you forward again so he could spank you somehow even harder. Once. Twice.
“Or do I sit and watch you fuck yourself until its time to suck me off?”
Still bent in half, Klaus pushed his fingers deep inside and pumped them again. Assaulted your clit. “No, I'm too hands on.”
Then a white heat filled your core and spread. Your sex constricted around Klaus’s fingers as you came. A loud squeal turned moan echoed off the walls. He held you steady by the neck as he rubbed out a second orgasm and made a tsk tsk sound.
“Guess I've got my answer. More insolence when I wasn't ready for you, and you broke your silence!”
You couldn't even comprehend Klaus’s next move. He stood you up and then bent your arms so your hands were on the back of your head. The position when you're under arrest. You could feel his bare chest against your back, erection just beneath his linen pants in your ass.
Klaus held your hands to your head and stepped away from you. Three swift hits to your ass, “I knew you wouldn't keep quiet long.” Each word again emphasized the rhythm of his punishment.
You took a chance, “Please forgive me, Prophet.” Your body shook with endorphins.
“Debatable. Can’t exactly talk with a mouthful of my cock now can you,” Klaus was still holding your hands above your head. Free hand that spanked you reached around to pinch your nipple another time.
This was the first time you realized he had yet to kiss you. That was so personal. This was.. you weren't sure. But once more thoughts escaped you as he pushed you blindly forward. His hand in your head dug into yours and your hair.
Once your knees came into contact with the soft velvet of a chair, Klaus stopped. He let go of your hands and gestured for you to drop them. He left you momentarily before returning to your side. His hands brought leather around your neck to the front and pulled a bit to tighten it but not the way he can handle. Cold metal against your spine.
“It's a collar and restraints. I get to control just how much of my cock you take in and you won't be able to stop me or help yourself. Next time you'll choke on the gossip like you will me.”
Klaus’s voice was low in your ear. His lips were inches from your skin. Goatee and mustache brushed against your neck as he locked your hands into the cuffs attached to the chain. He knew how that drove you fucking mad and blazed a trail with his chin and lips across your collarbone and shoulder without actually kissing you. Your arms straight down, hands near your ass.
You gasped out loud this time; an insufferable moan left your mouth. The collar tightened when the sound escaped your lips. Klaus laughed. His gin soaked breath filled your nostrils briefly before you were yanked to your knees. His hands twisted up in the back of your head once more and he held it tight while he freed himself from the pants.
Klaus sat down in the chair with his legs spread enough to maneuver you between them. You knew he used his spare hand to hold his stiff cock in place as he tugged your head forward towards it. The tip lost in your cleavage.
“I have to give you credit. Letting me tit fuck you was such a thrill. It's so tight in here, reminds me of your cunt. Then you can swallow my dick until I cum,” there was a shrug to his tone now.
Still he began to thrust his erection back and for in your tits. Klaus’s hips lifted off the chair to connect with your chest. He anchored himself with you and kept going. You could feel the head of his cock hit your neck, slick with his own fluid. He started to growl under his breath the faster he bucked and squirmed. Your sex reacting without thought with a notable swell.
“The tits are so fuckable,” he writhed. Looks like The Prophet had a new favorite type of foreplay.
Suddenly Klaus switched on you. “Open your mouth,” he commanded as your head was wrenched forward.
You complied, and Klaus shoved his cock so deep in your mouth it hit the back of your throat. You gagged momentarily and he cried out in ecstasy. You let your throat do it again.
“Keep doing that,” he pushed you onto him even further if that was possible.
Then Klaus pushed you up and back. His hands forced your mouth to do what it could on its own. You bobbed up and down on the shaft, wrapping your tongue around it on the process. His grip slackened so he could caress you instead.
“Like that. Now lick it and just the head.”
Again you kept repeating the instructions. Your jaw hurt and muscles began to ache, but you knew The Prophet’s cues by now. One more deep-throated constriction and..
Klaus exploded in your mouth. The salty liquid hit you and you swallowed only some. The rest you held knowing what would happen if you spit it out. So the moment he let you sit back, you assumed so he could adjust himself for another round, you turned your head and spit.
“Did you just fucking spit when I told you I was going to make you swallow my cum?” his question bordered on furious. A finger hooked through a loop in the collar and he heaved you up off the floor so you stood. Your body marveled at his strength. Your sex reacted accordingly.
“Just when I thought she knew how to behave, the little chicken showed her true self. Get on the chair and bend over my lap. Ass up, face down on the arm.”
Cautious to hide your eagerness, you did your best with your hands chained. Still you managed and bent over Klaus. The velvet soft under your knees and face resting into it. Your sex pressed against his cock as it stiffened a second time.
There was a brief moment of self confidence that you managed to hide the blindness made you nervous. You had a general idea most of this evening where Klaus was positioned or coming from, but it was that uncertainty that slicked you with wetness. The anticipation of his next move. The ultimate trust in someone who literally fell out of the sky.
Now that move was Klaus leaning over then a sensation of smooth wood on your bare ass. The other hand tangled itself up in the chain along your back. Tightened just a bit so the collar did the same. Another gasp for air and Klaus’s erection poked into you, strained against your pubic hair.
“You broke the rules by spitting,” the paddle came down on your ass several times. “You broke the rules by laughing at me earlier,” words punctuated by the delicious sting at every other word. “And you broke,” this time he took the edge of the paddle and swiped it between your legs. Delved between your folds to hit your clit just right. It wasn't rough, but it was enough so you understood.
“MY TRUST!” now Klaus bellowed. A hard paddle to your ass and the back of your thighs. Had no longer choked the chain. Instead he pinched your nipples alternately as he punished you.
Klaus brought the paddle down harder still several more times. The force of it pushed you down onto his cock. He thrust a bit up at the motion so your hips came together and apart. It was doing something to you besides making your legs go weak. You ached and throbbed in your cunt, longed to be penetrated. It wouldn't come for now.
“I'll give you a chance to apologize,” now Klaus let go of your tits and pulled you by the chain so your back curved. Your face off the arm of the chair. “Turn in my direction when I'm talking!” Paddle collided with your tender skin.
You moved best you could towards Klaus’s chest, “I'm sorry Prophet.”
“For?” Paddle gone, he gripped a handful of your ass and dug in.
Sharp intake of surprise breath. You rolled into his cock. “Gossiping, Prophet.”
“I can't hear you,” open-handed slap. “Red is definitely your color.”
“FOR GOSSIPING, PROPHET!” you cried out loudly.
“Fine,” indifference in his voice, but his cock said otherwise. “My arm is tired. I want you to fuck my thigh.”
You stumbled and nearly fell as you got off the chair. Your legs waived with chemicals from the paddle and prior orgasm. Now you managed towards Klaus’s lap, straddled his leg and sat astride. You situated your cunt on his thigh and started to ride him in earnest.
You found it difficult to balance as you undulated yourself back and forth. Balance off slightly until Klaus held you steady. Helped you rock powerfully into him. The friction and heat from his body drove you insane as you rode with abandon. You were already swollen as you ground as hard and fast as you could. Klaus’s hands, spread out over your back. His fingers ensnared by the chain.
“That cunt of yours is so fucking wet, like you're sliding on ice. Careful your clit doesn't burst just yet,” he teased.
Then without warning an incredible hard crack to the ass and it was too late. You shuddered violently and screamed out as you rolled yourself through the orgasm. Breasts heaved as you struggled to catch your breath.
“I'd be disappointed,” Klaus’s mouth close to your neck and collarbone once more. Facial hair just touched the surface of your skin as he held you down. “But wait until I tell the other Children how she loves being disciplined.”
Then you were on your feet so Klaus could probe you. He played with your clit to elicit another orgasm. That sting of a hand to your skin forced another explosion.
You collapsed into his chest but instead of catching you, he simply started to undo the cuffs and chain. He turned it around expertly and wrapped your hands up around front. Handcuffs locked, forearms together which he tied together and hooked into the collar. Your arms tight to your chest.
“Now get up. You're gonna get fucked.”
Then Klaus did something that both shocked you and turned you on. Where the strength came from you still don't know, but everything about him was otherworldly. The rush of him lifting you off the floor to throw you over his shoulder was powerful. The quick sting of exquisite torture that you just weren't sick of yet followed by that infectious laugh signaled his demeanor changed entirely.
“I can't believe you've fucking kept up,” he tossed you on the bed.
He rolled you face down, cuffs undone and arms forward so he could lock them to a headboard. “There's no one else who could. They can barely manage orgies. Ought to give my sex swing a go next time” Klaus mumbled and climbed up behind you, your hips and ass lifted skyward.
The head of his cock teased the crack of your ass, which he spanked as a reminder. Klaus tested your trust by slipping just a bit inside that space where no one was ever allowed. You cried out but not in pleasure as he tried.
You never thought it would happen, but you just weren't ready. “Um.. Spice Girls?” It was a question muffled by a pillow.
Klaus stopped, “Excuse me?”
“SPICE GIRLS!”
“I thought as much. Can’t ever know till you try to fuck someone’s ass.”
Then wordlessly Klaus plowed into your ever-slick cunt. His hips hit your ass and filled you to the hilt. Over and over he pounded you with a furious speed. Periodically slapping you with such extreme force that the pillow encompassed your face.
“This hot, tight cunt fits my cock so well. Fucking snug and able to take all of me.”
Klaus grabbed your hair and bent your neck back as he kept at it. Welcomed pain deep inside from his cock practically inside your stomach, or so it felt. Suddenly he pulled out and came on your back and ass, warm and sticky all over your raw and bruising skin.
Later: the two of you with arms and legs tangled up together. You snuggled into Klaus’s chest, a sweetness as your mouths meshed. His hands soft as they ran over you after having applied a cooling lotion to your welts and funny enough, bent to kiss them tenderly.
“Next time, Prophet-”
“Klaus.”
“Right,” you smiled. “Next time it's my turn, and I THINK you're gonna get pegged.”
Klaus leapt out of the bed with almost childlike glee. “I'll show you how to wear it.”
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you were never mine
I’m a bad student somebody stop me
AKA I wrote this on my phone during a zoom call for class, so it’s not the best and it’s kinda messy but here we are anyway
TW: abusive parent, violence, blood
another piece of a shameless au i’ll write one day
There’s an ear-splitting noise that sounds a lot like glass shattering, and Abbie flinches, tucking herself closer against the wall, one arm wrapped around a sibling, more by her feet.
Their mom showing up, out of the blue, was protocol for what started out as a decent weekend. Harley ushered them all off, passing Bentley off to Abbie, as soon as he’d smelled the alcohol and weed on her.
From Harley’s bedroom, they could hear everything that was happening downstairs, words mostly muffled but emotions just as clear as day.
Bentley’s on her lap, Jonah and Dayton on either side of her, Aspen sitting on the other end of the bed, and Sebastian is on Aspen’s other side.
Harley’s room smells like him. Like gunpowder, leather, cheap soap, and strawberry milkshakes from the diner. It makes them all feel safe, knowing Harley’s out there protecting them, keeping them safe, always.
Downstairs, muffled and distant, Harley’s shouting, “They’re not your kids, Macy. They were never your kids!”
And Macy sounds like she’s crying, and Abbie can picture exactly what she looks like in that moment. Desperate and scared and angry, hair wild and eyes tired, reaching out to try to comfort Harley like he was ever her son.
She’s always been pretty, in that hardened Tennessee way. Auburn hair, long but always tied back, skin clear and tan, eyes a dark honey-brown, hands calloused and angles sharp.
Most of the Keeners have a lot of those same features. Especially the oldest, the ones that were Dad’s and Mom’s, not just one or the other. The younger they get, the farther apart they look.
Bentley, the youngest, is Dad’s, not Mom’s, and she barely looks like family. She’s lighter and softer than any of the other Keeners, blue-eyed and a blonde tuft of hair, porcelain skin with softer edges.
“Why is he yelling at her?” Dayton asks. He’s so young, only eight-years-old and he’s facing all this pain and suffering at the hands of the people who were meant to love him unconditionally. He barely knows Mom, doesn’t know who his dad is. He doesn’t understand why things happened the way they did, doesn’t get why Harley’s so pissed at Mom, doesn’t understand why he can’t have clothes that aren’t hand-me-downs.
And Abbie just shushes him because she can’t begin to explain why.
“They’re my babies! You can’t keep them from me! I’m their mom!” Macy’s shouting downstairs. There’s more glass shattering and Abbie pulls Bentley closer when she hears the telltale sound of skin on skin.
“What if I did let you see them?” Harley demands, voice trembling and an octave higher. “Would you hit Aspen too? Would you attack Dayton? Would you scream at Abbie? Would you make their lives hell?”
She can’t make out what Macy says in response to that, but she can guess it’s nothing but lies and grasping for pity.
“I wanna see her,” Jonah says, blinking up at Abbie. “Why can’t I see her?”
“Macy isn’t a good person.” She’s pissed, shaking with the fiery anger that’s flooding through her, and she hates that this it what she’s forced to do. Hates that Harley has to take the brunt of everything.
There’s a future for them, she thinks, as she looks around at her siblings. There’s a future there.
Harley’s set it all up for them, made sure they’ll be ready to get out of Rose Hill one day. He’s going to get them all through school, going to send them off to live their lives, far and wide, doing anything they wish to do.
Abbie’s going to go to New York. She’s going to get a full ride to Harvard, she’s going to be lawyer, she’s going to be successful and live on the coast. She’s going to be the first Keener to graduate high school, the first to go to college, the first to have a real job, the first to make it out of Rose Hill with a future, the first to be be above the poverty line, the first to make it to nineteen without an unplanned pregnancy.
And the rest of them will follow. Aspen, Sebastian, Dayton, Jonah, Bentley, and whichever children will be dumped on them from Mom or Dad or a stranger claiming to have Dad’s child.
All of them but Harley.
Harley will be tied to them until the day the youngest Keener gets out of Rose Hill. Even if they’re lucky enough to be done with Bentley, Harley will be stuck here until he’s thirty-five, never have graduated high school.
“I’ve given up everything for them!” Harley cries, loud enough for them to hear, clear and heartbreaking all the same. “You’ve done nothing but take and take and take, and I’ve had to fill in every gap. I’ve been their mom, their dad, their brother, their sole caretaker, their breadwinner, their chaperone, their everything. And you’ve been nothing. You’ve done nothing for them. The best thing you ever did to those kids was leave them.”
And it hurts like Abbie’s been shot, clinging to her brothers, bleeding out on Harley’s bedspread, dying unable to make a sound.
“I want a second chance. Just let me have the littlest one, Bentley, let me take her and have a second chance at being a mother!”
“You can’t just show up and take your fucking pick!” Harley shouts, a sob caught in his throat. “You weren’t here, Macy! You weren’t here to change their diapers or help with math homework or go to their sports games. I was here! This is about what I did!”
Macy goes to say something, but it goes unheard under Harley’s tearfully loud voice.
“I was here! I was always here when you weren’t! And you know what? I did a fucking good job,” Harley says, shouting and crying and desperate. “Abbie’s captain of the volleyball team and junior class president! Aspen’s got a perfect GPA! Sebastian’s captain of the debate team, he volunteers at the animal shelter on the weekends! Dayton made a solar system for science and got an A plus! Jonah’s running now, he’s talking in full sentences, he’s fully potty trained, and he’s starting kindergarten next fall. Bentley, she’s an angel. Her first word was Harley. I was here! Where the fuck were you?”
“I’m here now, Harley,” Macy says, almost too quiet for the kids to hear upstairs. “I deserve to see my children.”
“They don’t even know who you are!” Harley shouts and there’s more glass breaking.
Macy’s voice drops lower. “I’m their mother.”
“You were my mother too!”
“Please, Harley,” Macy begs. “I just want to see my children.”
But Harley’s never given up that easily, he’s never let anything come between him and his family. “No. Just get out. I’m not letting you see them. I’m not going to let you brainwash them”
It goes quiet after that, save for a few muffled noises every now and again.
“Is he okay? Do you think she- Do you think she killed him?”
Abbie hits Sebastian on the arm. “Don’t say something like that, you’ll scare the little ones.”
“I’m serious. Are you sure he’s going to be okay?”
“When has Harley not been okay, Bas?”
It’s not the truth, Harley’s been far from okay for a very long time. And normally, encounters with Macy ends pretty badly for him.
But there’s nothing they can do. Harley’s strictest rule is that when he tells them to hide, they can’t come out until Harley comes to get them. If Abbie leaves, that leaves Aspen, fourteen years old, to protect them.
Abbie’s job is to stay here, protect the littlest one if, for some reason, Macy comes after them.
It only takes about an hour for Harley to get up to them, shouldering the door open.
He’s bruised and bloody and limping, but he’s somehow got a wide smile on his face. “Macy has officially left the building.”
“What the fuck did she do to you?”
Abbie’s up and over in a second, passing Bentley off to Bas, and grabbing his chin to get a better look at him. It looks like he broke his nose, blood smeared on his upper lip, right eye swollen nearly shut, one arm cradled against his ribs, fingers splayed on his chest. His lip is split open, jaw bruised, glass still clinging to his shirt.
“It’s fine. She’s gone, she’s not coming back for a while. We’re safe and sound. How do we feel about mac and cheese for dinner?”
There’s not much they can say otherwise, watching Harley grin, teeth stained with blood, and nodding to the door.
It’s not like Harley would listen to any of them anyway. He loves them too much to let them talk him out of keeping them safe.
Taglist: @littlemissagrafina @fancyxparker @romeoandjulietyouwish @c-artara @shadedrose01 @likeaphoenix13 @misskirkstark @you-get-killed-walk-it-off @kitkatwinchester @emo-girl10 @hold-our-destiny @imalivebecauseirondad @spiderman-peterman @dykeragee @maryserrao @heeeyitskay @parknerandirondad @lilacsandlilies4 @loveliestdisappointment @joyful-soul-collector @genderfluid-and-confuzled @fallenstar07 @gyurolls @sdottkrames {Lemme know if you wanna be added or removed}
buy me a coffee
#lyss writes#shameless au#i'll write a real shameless au one of these days#for now. oneshots#harley keener#abbie keener#jonah keener#sebastian keener#dayton keener#aspen keener#bentley keener#parkner
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Näher | Pt.04
Walter x Female Reader (Nicknamed ‘Hase’) Mob AU! Rating: Mature (Minors DNI) Word Count: 1765 Warnings: Angst, fluff. Death mention, brief sex mention, jealousy, parental abuse mention. I guess that’s all? Tell me if you see something else. Summary: Walter wants to know what Hase thinks of him. Pt.01 | Pt.02 | Pt.03
After the incident with Axel, Walter has been less aggressive with everyone. He apologised to us and stayed away of our ways for a while. That following week, I only saw him at the office or at the club, when we were home, we had our meals at different times, if I was at the pool, he kept himself at the library or at his home office, he didn’t even seek me out at night, that week was the first time I properly used the bedroom he had designated for me when I first moved in.
Of course I didn’t let go so easily. That same week, on a friday, after we got home from the club, followed him to his bedroom and cornered him there, forcing him to talk to me. “What’s going on?” “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Hase.” “Walter, don’t play coy with me. You know what I’m talking about. You have been weird since the day Axel and I fucked.” I spoke a little too harsh with him. He sighed, rubbing his hands on his face. “I’m an idiot and I should leave you alone. You’re better off without me. You deserve to be with Axel, not an arschloch like me.” the defeated tone on his voice is just sad, I had never seen him like that. “Walter, right after Axel left the room, what did I say to you?” “That you would kill me if anything happened do Junior.” he answered in a monotone voice. “That’s not what I’m talking about, you know what I’m talking about.” I pressed on. He sighed before answering “You said we should talk, because that’s how things get solved. And that you loved me.” I smiled at him after hearing it. “Yes, yes I did. So, stop making decisions for me and talk to me when something is bothering you, okay? Now get in bed.” “Why?” “Get in bed.”
I gave him the blow job of his life.
Right now it’s 06am of a friday and the alarm is going off for another workday. This week was completely stressful, one of our fighting rings got busted and Walter has been on edge trying to restore it. I got up to turn off the alarm and get ready for the day. As soon as I sat to get up, I felt Walter’s long arms snake around me and a light kiss being pressed on the middle of my back. “Where do you think you are going?” he mumbled on the same spot where he kissed me. “It’s friday, liebling. We have to go to work.” “No, we don’t. We are getting the day off, we deserve it and everything is already taken care of. Now please, get back to bed.” So, I did, he held me close his chest, his breathing lulling me to sleep almost immediately.
I woke up to Walter nudging me a few hours later. “Schatz, wake up. C’mon.” “What time is it?” “It’s 09:02. Please sit up.” I sat on the bed and saw he had a tray filled with food. “Wait, am I getting breakfast in bed?” “Yes, breakfast in bed for meine königin.” He kissed my lips and continued “Don’t how good it all will be though. I did it all myself, so fire the chef if it’s horrible.” “I’m sure it’s all delicious.” And they were. Pancakes were fluffy, bacon crispy, the eggs just how I liked, and he even put a little cinnamon on the coffee.
We ate in silence for a while, his right hand running up and down my leg. After we finished, I asked him what he wanted to do for the day, and he said that he would love to spend the day in bed. And we did. I got a random Spotify playlist on playing soft music on the bluetooth system just as ambiance music, we climbed under the covers and just stayed there, enjoying each other’s presence.
After a few minutes, Walter let out a question.
“What do you think of me?” I didn’t really get what he meant with it, getting up, I sat in front of him to look at him better. “What do you mean with what I think of you? You know I love you.” “Not like that. Me as a person. What you think of me as a person?” I looked at him almost panicking. “Walter... I–I just...” “It’s okay, liebe, be honest. Don’t be afraid. I really want to know.” “Look,” I sighed before continuing, “I’m not going to lie to you, I was so fucking scared when I first met you. That day on watch room at the club, I was terrified of you. My fight or flight response was on the whole time.” I let out a giggle “but somehow I was mesmerised by you. You’ve got this energy around you that sucked me in. For some reason I knew your pipe game was going to be good.” “Pipe game?” “Yeah, you know how to use your dick.” “Oh...” “Yeah, so where was I? Oh, yeah! So, you just don’t let people in. At least me, I know the guys know more about you than I do, well, of course they do, they’ve known you way longer, but anyway. What I’m trying to say is that you don’t let me in, and then something happens and you completely shut down, ignores everyone one or go on completely full rude mode. If something goes wrong or if you want to prove a point, you either make people uncomfortable, make them do something that will not sit right with them. For example, the thing with Axel and I. Yeah we’ve always had a tension going on that someday we would have had it figured out. But you thought your way was going to solve it all.” “You know you could’ve said no, right? I don’t want you do anything you don’t want to, any of you.”
“Oh, I know. I fucked Junior because I wanted and he wanted it too, he was just shocked that you came to it out of nowhere. But again, you can’t just make people do shit because you think it would be better for them, or because they did something wrong and you must prove a point to them. Talk to people. I know it’s hard for you, but sometimes just a few words go a long way.” He kept staring at me with those piercing steel eyes for a while after I finished my rant. His hand lifted up to my head, tangling his fingers on my hair, caressing my features. He sighed.
“You know, this business was my dad’s. I got it from him after he died. We had a rocky relationship and at first, I didn’t want to take over it. I hated him for most of my life. When my brother and I were kids, teenagers, if we did something wrong, he would beat the shit out us. I’ve lost count of how many scars I have because of him. I just carried this with me in all aspects of my life. I didn’t really have friends in school, people only got close to me because I would make favours for them, because I would buy them things and my life moved like this. They liked when I was angry, aggressive. They thrived on my bossing around, commanding and humiliating the people they didn’t like. To me that felt nice, felt right because I got the positive attention I never got at home. I was alone again when I refused to do something they asked me to or college got around and everyone went their separate ways. Not one call or text from them. Then I met the guys, they didn’t care about my money, didn’t care about who my family was and what we are capable of, they just accepted me for my own person. So, when my father died, after a lot of self-debate on whether or not I should accept my destiny, I asked them to join me, and here we are.” he stopped for a bit to breathe in some air and I had to look away from him to stop the tears I had been holding back from falling.
“Then you came in.” He started again. “At first I thought you were some invention from Axel’s mind because of how he talked about you. He never showed us a picture of you. That the day I saw you reading and drinking tea on your balcony, I finally understood him. I know the way I pursued wasn’t the best one, but I really don’t know better. You don’t take shit from anyone, you’re not afraid of getting on my face, that just draws me closer to you. I stand by what I’ve said to you before, if you want to get with any of the guys, you can. If I tell to do something you don’t want to, you’re more than free to deny it. If you get tired of all of this, if you don’t want to even see my face anymore, you can leave, and I’ll never go after you. I know I’m a prick, I know I’m a bastard and that I don’t deserve good things. I hate being this way.” Tears were rolling down my face by now, all I could do was hug him, hold him close to me as he did the same. We stayed like that for a little bit, me only getting up again so I could tell him what I was thinking.
“Look, you’re none of these horrible things you just said. All I see in you is a great guy that is worried about his friends, you just don’t have a conventional way of showing it. But if you are willing to change, I can help you with that, okay?”
“Okay. I love you.” “I love you too. Now, enough about this sad fest. Do you want to watch a movie or something” “Sure, you choose.”
I picked some dumb comedy on Netflix and got back to my place on his chest. His hand never left my body, caressing my skin all the time. We kept quiet, only laughing when something funny happened. It was around the second half of the third movie that I spoke up again.
“I’m gonna fuck Tim for real.” “What is it with you and this obsession for Timothy?” “Oooh, Timothy. What, you were the one that said I could fuck whomever I wanted.”
---
Translations: Arschloch: asshole Schatz: sweetheart Meine Königin: my queen
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RobStar Week 2020: Day 1
Tis RobStar Week, guysss! Ugh. Yas. That means content for the week of my two disgustingly adorable children. We love to see it.
I do believe it runs from 5th July - 11th July so check the robstarweek tag each day for some robstar joy :3
So, I haven’t written anything really for a while. Especially not based in the TTA universe. But, I’m mildly happy with this one. In theory, it doesn’t actually have much of the kids but it has Robin talking bout his crush with Wally.
Confession... I don’t love the prompt of destiny/fate/star-aligned... all of that. Idk why cos like in essence I believe it. My babies are destined for each other. Buuut, as a prompt, I just never am a fan. So, I tried my best, I swear! XD
This oneshot is set after ‘Titans Together’ but before the movie, ‘Trouble In Tokyo’.
Uh, I know Robin talks about when Starfire kissed him and I know that he doesn’t discover that she learns languages through lip contact until the movie but like... c’mon. Robin is a smart guy and would have thought about it in the time since they first met. I don’t think he would bring it up cos he awks but I think he would put two and two together. So, when it’s mentioned, he is just kinda speculating and then it’s confirmed in the movie. That’s how I’m viewing it anyway. XD
Hope you like it. Happy RobStar week! ^.^
________________________
Star-Aligned/Destiny
The upbeat music drifted and pounded around the whole tower, with the epicentre of the noise coming from the main room, which was fairly packed with Titans from all across the globe, enjoying their Friday night.
It had been about a week since they’d taken down the Brotherhood of Evil and put all the criminals that had been affiliated back in their rightful places within penitentiaries across the world. The ordeal had been difficult on each and every one of the Titans and it had taken a lot of time and energy to ensure that the threat was dealt with and the Brotherhood were dismantled for good.
So, when Beast Boy and Cyborg had approached him about having a party to relax and say thanks to the whole Titans Network for their help in defeating the long standing villains, Robin had been reluctant to say no. He felt that a little fun was well deserved and decided it wasn’t often that they all let loose and just got to act like normal young adults, even if it was only for one night.
He felt good as he sat at the counter, dressed in civvies for the first time in a long time, with a glass of cold soda tantalizing his lips. He knew that some of the boys had snuck in a bit of alcohol and since all of the Titans were technically 18 and over, they were legally allowed to drink in private locations, according to Jump City law. So, he was letting it slide, but that didn’t mean he was about to consume it himself. Robin was all for unwinding but… he still had his wits about him, just in case any alerts came through.
Of course, in the morning, there were a few individuals who he wanted a word with regarding how they purchased the alcohol but he resigned himself to waiting until tomorrow, rather than putting his leader head on right now.
Robin cocked a small smile as he scanned the room from behind the safety net of his mask. He may well have been in casual clothing but the mask always stayed put; an unkickable habit of his, he mused.
Cyborg was over by the sound system, setting up playlists upon playlists with Bumblebee at his side, helping to sort through the music. He could see from where he was perched, every time she saw a song that she clearly didn’t like, she would delete it from the playlist when Cyborg wasn’t looking. It’d provided Robin a good few laughs throughout the night to see his cybernetic friend become confused, scratching his head and wondering if he had had too much to drink, despite only really having about one beer.
Beast Boy was lounging on the sofa, game station controller in hand; his gleeful chuckle echoing every now and then as he challenged those around him to a racing game that he’d practically lived on for the better part of the past year. Herald, Hot Spot and Killowat were huddled around him, each trying to gain the upper hand on the changeling who had won the 4 games prior to the current round.
Robin turned his head, noticing Red Star was talking with Aqualad, Pantha and Argent over near the windows with all of them holding a beverage each and laughing, getting to know one another better since they were all teammates and they’d never really had a chance to interact with one another until now. Robin saw tonight as a good opportunity for the Titans Network to get a little more acquainted with one another so that they had a good roster of friends and colleagues for future events and missions, if necessary.
Directly ahead of him, Gnarrk and Wildebeest were sat at the table, conducting an arm wrestle to see who had the superior strength with smirks so smug that Robin could feel the bravado permeating the air around them. Kole was standing by her best friend’s side, offering quiet encouragement; believing in his abilities wholeheartedly. She smiled as Jericho turned to her, seemingly signing to her, his faith in Gnarrk to win as well; a gesture that made Kole turn a rosy pink and Robin couldn’t help but wonder if there was a bit of a connection brewing between the two.
Behind Wildebeest, Thunder and Lightning were cheering loudly, waving their hands and hooting in favour of the humanoid chimera who simply grunted in acknowledgement of their vocal support.
Robin chuckled quietly to himself and took a sip of his drink, minutely shaking his head as he inwardly wagered on who he thought was more likely to come out on top of said arm wrestle.
In the right hand corner of the room, Robin could see Jinx who looked less than thrilled as she was effectively sandwiched between Kid Flash and Mas Y Menos who were, by the looks of it, having a lengthy debate about who had the faster abilities.
Scrunching his face up, Robin took a moment to consider how that conversation was going considering he knew for a fact Wally didn’t know much Spanish, if any at all.
He shook his head and his eyes travelled over Speedy and Bushido who seemed to be talking and sharing fighting tips, with Speedy making gestures with his hands to explain the types of arrows he used when he battled.
Robin sighed in content, happy for the warm atmosphere surrounding them all. When he’d first started recruiting the people in the room to be a part of their hero network, he hadn’t even considered what it would mean for them to gel together but every single Titan in the tower had proved that they could work effectively with one another, without really even knowing much about those around them.
He was proud of his teammates and friends and he felt confident that if more threats on a larger scale were to ever crop up in the near future, then they would be prepared and ready with a strong force in place.
Tapping his fingertips against the side of his glass, a lingering silver laugh caused him to pause; a tingle descending down his spine with a simultaneous heat prickling his skin. He lifted his head and his gaze inadvertently fell upon Starfire who was sitting on the back of the sofa, her long legs dangling down with her ankles crossed over one another.
Her hands were clasped and in her lap as she talked animatedly with Raven, who in turn, was responding in her usual way of nods and small smiles, only speaking here and there.
Robin gripped his glass a little tighter as he watched the alien Princess shrug her gorgeous mane of ruby hair over her shoulder, pooling down the length of her back.
It had been futile to try and ignore how she looked tonight with Robin deciding how well Earth clothing suited her. She wore a lilac playsuit with a white floral pattern printed all over the fabric. The spaghetti straps of the garment fell perfectly on her shoulders with the rest of it hugging her body comfortably without being too tight or loose enough not to flatter her.
Although, Robin rebuffed that thought immediately. She could wear a trash bag and she’d still make it look amazing.
It was a short faux dress outfit but it was far from distasteful considering it was longer than her day to day uniform. The light frills at the hem were a nice touch, giving the illusion of it being a dress when in fact it wasn’t.
All in all, Robin had a tough time keeping his eyes off of her and it had been that way since the party started earlier in the evening.
He exhaled quietly to himself as he lost in himself in a momentary trance, with Starfire being the pinnacle of it all. Every single thing she did was endearing and he finally understood what people meant whenever they would compare a person to that of sunlight.
Starfire was the epitome of a ray of sunshine; constantly smiling and being her bubbly self, no matter who she was around. She could be around the grouchiest person in the universe and she’d still be able to coax a grin from them, without so much as even trying to.
She was just so naturally inviting; like moths to a flame, Starfire was a friend to all and he could honestly admit that he had never met someone as kind and carefree as her which in his eyes was what made her so unique within their world of heroes.
Robin stared after her, watching the way her jade eyes would shimmer whenever Raven said something remotely funny or something that Starfire could relate to. Her orange skin seemed to glow with every thousand watt smile that found its way onto her cupid bow lips.
Just beneath his rib cage, Robin felt his heart rate start to increase; a quiet thumping of his chest, the longer he stared after her.
Swallowing heavily, Robin averted his eyes, instead choosing to stare down at his bubbling soda. Despite this, his mind remained rooted on the one thing in the room he took the most interest in. He couldn’t help but inwardly dwell on his feelings for the Tamaranean girl, no matter how hard he had tried over the years to refuse and deny what his heart had been singing all along, since she first crash landed on the planet they called home.
It was a constant struggle for him; trying to figure out if it would be worth the risk or if he should remain stoic and unfeeling like another vigilante he was familiar with.
A sudden gust of wind enveloped him, causing his hair to rapidly fly out of place. Staying still, Robin merely sighed and blinked in annoyance, already aware of who was now leaning against the counter beside him.
“Wally…” Robin muttered, reaching a hand up to sort his hair out, casting a scowl in the speedster’s direction.
Kid Flash chuckled and pulled up a seat beside him and nudged his shoulder, “Hey Dick.”
“Do you have to do that every single time?”
“Duh. Think of it as… a privilege of being best friends.”
“Pretty lousy privilege.”
He made a ‘psh’ sound and gave him another shove, “You get what ya get.”
“Uh huh.” Robin replied, leaning forward to take a swig of his drink, feeling the cold liquid slither down his throat. Despite his best efforts to stay inconspicuous, he was unable to stop himself from stealing another glance at Starfire who had moved from her spot on the back of the couch with Raven.
She was giggling with Bumblebee and Argent, swaying her hips and dancing to the music that was swirling in the air; a catchy beat that seemed to be luring quite a few Titans into dancing now.
He could feel his face heating up as he registered that Wally was staring at him with a teasing smirk laced upon his lips. He cut him a scathing look and attempted his best batglare, making Wally snort.
“C’mon. When has that look ever worked to make me stop?” He laughed, taking a gulp of the beer he was holding,
Robin took a deep breath, awaiting the onslaught of jabs. He’d known Wally for most of his life, ever since he’d gotten adopted by Bruce on account of his links with the league.
It’d taken just one encounter with the redhead on a visit to the watchtower and they’d been inseparable.
Of course, that changed somewhat after he left Gotham; the communication dropping with Robin being more so to blame, after effectively shutting those around him out.
It picked up again though, once he had become more established with the Titans, going as far to offer him a spot on the team. Wally had declined at first, unsure how he felt about being with a team but after a while, he came around.
It helped that he happened to run into Jinx whilst he was still mulling over the decision.
Robin sighed and half turned his body towards him, “What are you doing over here?”
“Just wanting to catch up with my bud… obviously.” Wally replied, trying to appear aloof but failing miserably,
Leaning back, Robin spied Jinx still standing where Wally had been beforehand, staring at the twins in bewilderment as they babbled to her in Spanish.
“You know, you’ve basically abandoned Jinx.” Robin muttered,
There was a mischievous glint in his lime eyes as he waved a dismissive hand, “Bah, she’s fine. She needs to socialise with good guys more anyway. Needs to build on her newfound hero ways.”
Robin shrugged and tilted his chin downwards, eyes on the counter top to avoid any more fleeting glances at anyone in particular.
“So…” Wally drawled, in that tone.
Sighing heavily, Robin looked up at him, “What?”
“Star’s looking hot tonight.” He taunted and it took everything Robin had not to react in the way Wally clearly wanted him to,
“Mhm. She looks great.” Robin mumbled, not really in the mood for this kind of conversation. He had been feeling pretty mellow but he could sense that slipping away and being sent spiralling into the mess of emotions he experienced from time to time where Starfire was concerned.
“Dick… c’mon.” Wally persisted, levelling with him, “Your crush on her isn’t exactly subtle.”
“Well… she doesn’t know so it seems to be working so far.”
Wally snorted, “To practically everyone else, it’s obvious that something is going on.”
Dick took a deep inhale and gripped his glass with both hands, preparing himself for more of Wally’s insistence, “Well, there’s not. Sorry to disappoint.”
“Dude.” He paused and leaned into him, his tone shifting into a more sincere one, “Maybe there would be something if… y’know… you made a move on the ol’ Princess?”
Whilst it was in his nature to deflect anything to do with feelings; especially romantic ones, at all costs, there was something gnawing at him; encouraging him to open up a bit. It was Wally, after all.
“I can’t.” Dick sighed, loosening the grip of his fingers around the glass,
“Sure you can. Just get up, go over there and ask her to dance or… I don’t know, smooth talk her.” Wally suggested,
“No… I mean… I can’t. I’m the leader of the Titans… Bruce always taught me not to get involved that way with a teammate. It causes rifts in team dynamics and-”
Wally cut him off with a scoff, “Who cares? If you feel that way about her, which you obviously do, you deal with those kinds of things and work it out as you go along.”
Dick sighed for what felt like the hundredth time in the past 10 minutes, “It doesn’t matter.”
Sensing that he was retreating into himself again, Wally tried an alternate route, “You know… with all the doe eyes you make at her, you never told me how you actually met.”
Without really even being aware of it, a soft smile graced Dick’s lips, “Uh… I’d just got to Jump and was dealing with this thief and saw this… streak of green across the sky. I went to check it out and turns out, she’d quite literally crash landed to Earth.”
“That must’ve been so cool, man.” Wally laughed,
Dick inclined his head a little, “It was… different to anything I’d had in Gotham.”
“Yeah, but Starfire is… sweetness and joy.”
The ebony haired hero chuckled to himself, “Uh… not at first. She…” He paused and glanced at her, gauging just how much he should leave out about where she came from on that day, “She was… being held prisoner by these aliens… Gordanians are what they were called. Long running warfare between them and Tamaran and… a few other planets.”
“Prisoner?” Wally queried, clearly vying for more information,
“Let’s just say… she was forced from her world and it… wasn’t because of any crimes.”
Wally stared at him for a long moment before something softened in his expression and he nodded, “So… what was she like?”
“As you can imagine… she didn’t trust any of us. Hissing and seething and blowing shit up.”
“Badass.” Wally grinned,
Dick chuckled, “Yeah… she didn’t know English either so… couldn’t exactly explain to her that we just wanted her to stop.”
“How’d she get so fluent in the language then?”
His cheeks turned red almost instantly and he cleared his throat, willing the blush to dim until it vanished, “Her people can learn languages instantaneously through uh… lip contact. I think.”
“You think?”
“Well… after she… did it… um… she spoke English… so I just assume…”
Wally blinked in surprise, “Wow. That’s a useful trait-” He cut himself short as he recognized the discomfort on his best friend’s face, “Oh my god. She learned it from you, didn’t she? You got a kiss from her on the first day you met her!”
Dick snapped his head in Wally’s direction, “Can you shut up, please? We’ve… never talked about it. Kissing isn’t a thing on her world… and I never brought it up.”
“She knows what ‘lip contact’ means on Earth though, right?”
“She knows now… I mean she must know, considering how many romance movies we’ve sat through on movie nights.” Dick shook his head, “Like I said… we’ve never talked about it so… I don’t know what she thinks on that front.”
Wally chuckled, “No wonder you’ve been smitten with her since day one. I would be too if a hot space girl kissed me in the middle of telling her to stop ripping a city apart.”
Dick was about to protest, but relaxed and smirked, “Yeah… well… she made an impression, to say the least.”
“Sounds like… Mm… I don’t know.”
“What?” Dick prompted,
“You’ll just wave it off but… I mean… maybe it was meant to be.”
“What are you talking about?”
“People who are meant to be in your life don’t just fall out of the sky on a day to day basis, Dick.” Wally droned, looking at him like he was an idiot,
The Boy Wonder chewed on the inside of his cheek; his mind a bubble of thought, “It’s… not the craziest thing.” He paused and looked at her again, still dancing around without a care in the world, “She brought us together… we know for a fact… she’s the glue that keeps us together; the heart of our team… without her… we wouldn’t last.”
“See? That, my friend, is fate.” Wally surmised,
“I don’t know about that, Wally. It… just so happened we were all in the area at the same time.” Dick rebuffed,
“Listen… whether you want to admit it or not… don’t you think it seems a little too coincidental that you all met Starfire on this one day and it basically set out your futures for the next few years at the least?” Wally asked, raising an eyebrow at him,
“Okay, fine. Let’s say that it is… fate or whatever… are you saying that the same applies to how I feel about her?” He challenged,
Wally scoffed and flailed his hands around slightly, “Duh! I’m telling you, there is no way that you ‘just so happened’ to meet Starfire and your team, start a network of teenage heroes that extends across the world and end up falling for the one who caused this… cataclysm… just by chance. It just doesn’t happen.”
Remaining silent, Dick felt the urge to mock him ebbing away, the more he tried to reason with him.
He was probably the furthest thing from a believer when it came to things such as fate and destiny, having turned cynical shortly after his parents were murdered.
By Wally’s logic, everything in life happened for a reason, with the goal of eventually fulfilling the path set out in stone for you when you’re first brought into existence.
“Wally…”
“The universe didn’t exactly have you meet her to just be ‘best friends’ for your whole life. You wouldn’t stare at her or think about her or want her the way you do, if it wasn’t supposed to happen dude.”
Dick blinked, “This is the most philosophical way of telling me to make a move that you have ever used.”
Bursting into laughter, Wally lifted his shoulders and smiled, “Yeah, you’re probably right. But you know what I’m saying, at least on some level, makes sense.”
The Titans leader evaded admitting something like that, “Mm… what I know is that you’re only spewing destiny related stuff because of one beer too many.”
Wally looked scandalised for a long moment before he shrugged, “Okay, I might be a tad tipsy but it’s still relevant, Dick.” He sighed and threw an arm haphazardly around his best friend’s shoulders, “I’m trying to push you… for you. Whether you wanna believe me when I say it’s some kinda fate or not, the fact is… you can’t expect her to wait forever.”
Tugging himself away, Dick pulled a sour expression and turned to him, “And what if I do and it blows up in my face, huh? What if I go over there and ask her out and she says no?” He deflated and looked down at the counter top, “I doubt she sees me that way anyway so what’s the point?”
Chuckling almost instantly, Wally rolled his eyes and looked at Dick with a raised brow, “Seriously? Dude, I’m not even on your immediate team and I can see that she likes you just as much as you like her.”
Dick cleared his throat, his cheeks turning pink on their own accord, “You don’t know that for sure.”
“Okay well, it comes across pretty clearly except to you, apparently.” Wally paused, “Besides, aren’t you basically our biggest risk taker? You love that whole thrill of not knowing.”
Dick grunted, “Not on this kind of thing.”
“Right, right because it makes you all vulnerable and junk.” Wally drawled, earning another glare from the masked hero but choosing to ignore it, “Dick… I can’t make you do anything you don’t want to. I don’t think anyone can since you’re stubborn as hell. But… just remember… Starfire is beautiful and super sweet. You’re not the only guy in this hero network that thinks so… and if you don’t move your ass and at least make it known to her you’re interested… you might lose your chance altogether.”
Opening his mouth to protest, Dick was cut short from doing so as Wally lightly nudged his shoulder and stared pointedly across the room, waiting for Dick to follow his line of sight as well.
Over near the large glass window panels, Starfire was standing, looking happily flushed from all the activity buzzing around her; something she constantly thrived on whenever parties were in full swing. Her smile was soft and patient as she bobbed her head, laughing at what was being said to her.
Dick felt his stomach lurch and his heart started pounding painfully within his chest as he noticed who was standing alongside her. Speedy was grinning at her, talking and making jokes about god knows what. He watched as the archer took a step towards her and gently touched her arm.
Starfire appeared unbothered by the gestures but it greatly unnerved Dick, considering he could tell from Speedy’s posture that he was attempting to ‘woo’ her.
He bolted up from the stool he’d been sitting on at the counter, his fingertips pressing against the surface of it so hard, they were turning white. He could feel his chest constricting as his breathing turned harsh, an odd type of panic overtaking him.
“Hm… strange reaction for someone who doesn’t have feelings for her…” Wally murmured sarcastically before taking a long sip of his beer,
Narrowing his eyes, Dick turned to scowl at him, “How long has he been talking to her?”
“Only about 2 minutes. Though… he sure looks like he’s getting comfy with your girl there…”
Taking a deep breath, Dick let his hand slide off of the counter and he cleared his throat. He felt nervous but there was a knee jerk reaction in him that was yelling to get over there and interrupt Speedy’s attempts at romancing his best friend.
His gaze fell on Starfire who seemed oblivious to the obvious signals Speedy was sending towards her. Dick cocked a half smile, glad that she wasn’t playing into it. It gave him a rise of hope that maybe she wasn’t responding like a typical girl because she already had feelings for another guy that was possibly him. Maybe.
“What… what should I do when I get over there?” Dick queried, suddenly feeling the confidence drain from him,
“I don’t know. Ask her to dance?” Wally smiled sympathetically at him, “Dick… it’s Starfire. Isn’t she like… the one who makes you feel the most at ease?”
Dick swiveled his head back towards the auburn haired beauty, “She is.”
“Then it’ll be fine once you get over there.” Wally encouraged, tipping his beer bottle in his direction,
Nodding, Dick offered him a slight smile, “Thanks… Wally.”
“You know me, man. I’m a man of loveee.”
Dick sighed, “And there’s the idiot.”
With that, he picked up his soda and made his way through the strings of Titans as casually as he could, without appearing as though he was desperately wanting to get between that tiny space that was still between Speedy and Starfire.
Watching through bright eyes, Wally smiled to himself as Dick reached the two. Speedy looked to be quite put out about his appearance but the speedster wasn’t paying much attention to him.
Rather, all he could see was the way Starfire lit up at Robin’s emergence. Her smile stretched from ear to ear, her emerald eyes shining with joy as she clasped her hands around his upper arm in an exuberant greeting.
In return, Dick grinned back at her, talking with ease and a relaxed aura about him. Speedy looked effectively closed off and shut down, which if it were any other girl, Wally would feel pretty bad for him.
But, he knew how long Dick had had a thing for the alien Princess. He just hoped he would actually get it together and do something about it before it was too late.
“Well done, Grayson.” Wally chuckled to himself, before taking another sip of his drink and scanning the room for a certain pink haired sorceress.
#robstarweek#robstarweek2020#robin#starfire#robstar#teen titans#fanfic#oneshot#day 1#star-aligned/destiny#queued#nightglider124
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If I'd written Loki pt 3
(Missed one? Episode 1 Episode 2)
Still can't sleep. I started to doze off a little, but then my fucking brain latched onto this and wouldn't let go lol so...here.
Episode 3 would be where Loki finds the file on the destruction of Asgard. Mobius has been trying to keep it from him, afraid it might be too much for him to handle so soon. He looks across the table and sees Loki frozen in horror, and he knows, because they're researching apocalypses, exactly what he's seeing. Damn.
"Did you know about this?" Loki demands, hiding his shock and grief behind anger. Mobius admits of course I did as he tries to snatch the paper away. You weren't ready, Loki. It was too much- "And what makes you think that was ever for you to decide?!"
There's a moment of charged silence between them, Loki angry and reeling, and Mobius truly frightened of him for the first time. Since getting to know Loki - really getting to know him, not just as a file on his desk but the man himself - he's come to like and respect him more and more, and in the process, privately question the sacred timeline. That's why he keeps advocating for the minimal freedom he can get for Loki, why he told him part of his destiny, why he now isn't sure what to do or say.
"What happened?" Loki quietly demands. He could just read the rest of the file, but he can't quite stomach seeing it laid bare so callously in black and white.
Ragnarok, Mobius tells him softly. You unleash Surtur- "I did this?!" Loki is baffled, horrified, unable to grasp the concept of allowing the only home he'd ever known to be obliterated. To stave off something much, much worse, Mobius murmurs.
Loki shakes his head. "What could be worse than the destruction of an entire planet?" Still unsure how to proceed, Mobius gets snarky and reminds him, Didn't you already try to do that once, like a year ago? Loki is less than impressed lol. He's also privately freaking out. For all his mixed feelings about the place and its people, he just can't wrap his mind around destroying Asgard.
"That's where she is," he decides, lurching up from his seat. Mobius doesn't buy it, tries to stop him. You're not thinking rationally. She's never gone there- "That you know of. You had no idea where she'd ever been until I figured it out." She's a Loki! Wouldn't she have the same feelings you're having right now? Try to stop Ragnarok? "Who says I'm trying to stop it? I thought we were stopping her."
Loki, listen to me! He reaches for Loki's arm, but he's let his guard down; Loki steals his Tempad and sends them both to Asgard. Mobius is partly right, of course; Sylvie has never come back to this place before. She couldn't handle the flood of mixed emotions seeing Asgard again would cause. But Loki, even at the mercy of a lot of those same emotions, is also right. He knows what Mobius doesn't yet realize: Desperation drives Lokis home. Sylvie's plans have been disrupted; she's come here, to her last resort, the place she'd vowed never to set foot in again, to regroup. They don't find her right away, though.
First, they run into someone Loki has known since childhood.
"Loki!" she cries out, shocked to see him just standing there beside a complete stranger. They fly together like magnets, collapsing into each other's arms. "What are you doing here? We have to run; Asgard is being evacuated."
"Sigyn." He squeezes her with all his might, this woman who has meant everything to him, ever since they were small. In his arrogance, he's never told her how he felt. He won't now, either. There's too much going on, too much at stake. He holds her tight, not saying a word, while Mobius watches with a sort of awkward, nervous amusement. Oh. So THAT'S Sigyn! Loki flips him off behind Sigyn's back; a bit uncouth, sure, but any other retort would just be more effort than he feels like putting in right now. (oh wait. Disney. okay, so he doesn't flip him off, just glares I guess XD)
'Loki, we must go!"
"Then go," he murmurs, kissing her cheek and reluctantly releasing her. "I'll find you later." She won't make it to the bridge, Mobius warns as she's walking away. He doesn't know why he's telling him this; warning him of his own fate when he's already derailed it is one thing, but willfully causing a branch in the sacred timeline? What's wrong with him?! But he's already said it, and the stricken look on Loki's face says he heard him loud and clear. Loki grabs Sigyn's arm before she can get too far, and gives Mobius a look daring him to stop him. Mobius only shrugs helplessly and follows them both toward the palace.
"How old was she?" What? Loki rolls his eyes. "How far into her timeline did you abduct her?" Mobius hadn't thought of it that way, but he admits, she was a little girl. At Loki's impatient look, he shrugs. Seven? Eight, maybe? Maybe younger, I don't know.
"That's close enough. I know where to look." So wait... we're really here to find the other variant? Mobius laughs. I thought you were just cracking up! "I don't love the idea of this place disappearing forever," Loki admits in an irritated growl, "but I never do anything without a purpose. You ought to know that."
Sigyn's confused, but she lets this debate play out without a word. She knows Loki well enough to know something's going on, and even if she asks her questions now, she won't get any answers. So she waits. And is even more confused when they find Sylvie, and she recognizes Loki's female form. "What?"
Loki smirks. "Eerie, isn't it?" Before approaching Sylvie, he growls in Mobius' ear, "if anything happens to her, you will suffer more horribly than you can possibly imagine." You ever gonna tell her you're in love with her? Mobius taunts, grinning. Loki challenges, "Will I have the chance?" He doesn't let Mobius answer. He approaches Sylvie cautiously, like she's a cornered animal. The VARIANT jacket he'd forgotten he was wearing until then disappears. He's just Loki again, no visible ties to the TVA. Unfortunately, with Mobius right behind him, he's never going to get Sylvie to trust him. They fight, Loki consistently getting the upper hand because he knows more magic than Sylvie does, and she can't reach anyone to enchant them.
Then the earth beneath their feet shakes. Ragnarok has begun. Sylvie tries to steal Mobius' Tempad from Loki. He turns and races to Sigyn's side, Sylvie on his heels. Knowing they can't stay there, this is where he opens up a portal to a random apocalypse, and he, Sylvie, Sigyn, and Mobius all end up on Lamentis.
They still try the train thing, with Loki conjuring fancy clothes and tickets for everyone (and cuffs on Sylvie, hidden beneath one of those furry hand warmer things). Loki and Sigyn, both reeling from what they've each been through, play some kind of Asgardian drinking game, and Loki sings that beautiful song. He's serenading Sigyn, though, not Sylvie. Meanwhile Sylvie and Mobius stay at the table and talk. They both know better than to reveal any groundbreaking secrets; they just chat. Mobius is fascinated by a female Loki, until he looks over at the other two and sees what appears to be another Sylvie. Sylvie rolls her eyes and causally tells him that Lokis are shapeshifters, and aren't limited to one gender. Drunk and giggling, Loki turns back into himself and kisses Sigyn. Sigyn slaps him (she loves him and always has, but if he's ever going to make a move, she's not tolerating a sloppy, drunken one. Sigyn has self respect, yo! XD).
They don't get thrown off the train. They make it to the port, where Loki looks out over the city and makes the same realization he did originally: "My god. They're going to let all these people die." He won't stand for it. He's done watching worlds burn. After all he's seen and been through, all he's done and been forced to do, he's done. While Sylvie urges him to forget it and find the power source, and Mobius tries to get back to towing the company line and tells him not to screw up the apocalypse, Loki takes one look at Sigyn, his love, his childhood friend, the only person in his entire life who loved him and gave zero fucks about Thor, his moral compass... And she just nods. The two of them race down into the fray. Sigyn rounds people up, herding them away from the worst of the danger the best she can, while Loki focuses on the destruction around them. The episode ends when he stops that falling building and pushes it back upright.
Episode 4
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FUN Things about Getting Older
So sometimes being “old” is presented as a problem, especially for women, and sure, there’s nothing like sitting on the couch for an hour, answering email, then getting up only to go, “Ow, ow, ow.” Or not wearing heels because you’ve got Bunyons from Hell. Never mind the 10+ pounds for each decade.
BUT, there are some definite perks:
#1: NO MORE FUCKING PERIODS. Yeah, yeah, peri-menopause and menopause have their own issues (hot-flashes SUCK), but there are pretty effective over-the-counter drugs to minimize those. And NO MORE FUCKING PERIODS! Can we get an “Amen”?
#1a: No more concerns about getting pregnant. Worry-free sex, y’all. At least if you’re in a relationship where that’s a concern.
#2 GRAY HAIR. Yeah, yeah, everybody whines about it and tries to dye it, and for a while, okay, sure. But silver hair is pretty awesome. It does make gold jewelry less flattering, but stop trying to keep your tresses dark after you’re 50, or even 45. It’s not a good look; it’s harsh on the face (the lighter the skin, the worse it looks). If you’re a blond or lighter brown, maybe you can go longer…but WHY? Let the silver come in. Stop playing the stupid game of clinging to youth when you can rock the silver. Do you have any idea how often I get compliments on my gray hair? A LOT. Okay, I have nice hair; it’s my vanity, but still. If I’d realized how many compliments I’d get, I’ve have let it go to natural sooner!
#3 While aging can make you less visible in some ways (nobody whistles at you on the street—not necessarily a BAD thing), it makes you more visible in others—especially if you rock that gray hair. “I want to speak to the manager right now,” carries more weight at 50 than 30. If I’m pissed off, people tend to listen more—even younger men. Older men can still be jackasses, but I find I have less patience as I age, too. It’s a different sort of visibility, but I’m okay with that.
#4 You have a better sense of perspective and proportion. Events happening in the present may correlate to memories of the past, which can make them scarier…or less scary. Either way, one becomes more adept at correctly analyzing the significance of events either personal or public. It’s called ���long view.” (So, for instance, I watch the impeachment debates not just with a memory of Clinton’s, but a memory of Nixon’s. I was 10 years old; I sat there listening to his resignation speech as my father recorded it on an old-style tape-recorder, as it was so historic. We had no idea then what the future would hold for recording, but somewhere in my boxes, I still have my father’s tape-recording of that speech!)
#5 You know better what you want out of life. I’d say that’s the big thing. I was a weird kid in many ways. I had a “sense of destiny” young. Looking back at myself, I sort of laugh. But I knew I wanted to be a writer at 11. I knew I wanted to teach college at 18. And I went on to do both those things. MOST people aren’t like that, and it’s okay. Not everybody is a freaky intense ambitious nutjob of a teenager. LOL. Also, I did a lot of other jobs along the way. I’ve been an editor, I’ve done bereavement counseling, et al. So the road hasn’t necessarily been a straight one. And that’s GOOD. Life should throw everybody some curve balls, so we learn how to adapt.
#6 YOU’VE FAILED. By the time we reach 50, most of us have suffered at least one major failure: personal, career-wise, something—and often, more than one. That’s good.
Don’t laugh. It’s good. Failure is the fire that purifies. If you don’t fail—and seriously fail—you won’t ever truly succeed.
Failure makes us kinder, softer, more patient. When I was young, despite coming from a family on the Other Side of the Tracks, I had a lot of successes. I was meant to lift up my family; I had the brains. I was the first of my generation not just to go to college, but to grad school. So yeah, I’m a first-generation college student.
It made me an arrogant little shit.
I’ve been interested in Alexander the Great for a long time, since my early 20s, and one of my advisors during my counseling training told me, “You like Alexander because you think you are Alexander.” I wanted to argue with her, but looking back…yeah. She was right. He was young, brash, intelligent, gifted, and so was I. I could do no wrong. And for a while, most things went my way, because I was brash, intelligent, and gifted, but with a healthy dollop of due caution.
Yet I wasn’t always kind. I was (for the ‘90s) “woke,” but in the worst way. To be truly woke requires compassion even for one’s opponents. Instead, I judged those who I didn’t think were as “with it” as I was. I’d had painful things happen earlier. My mother had a heart attack when I was 17 and I was left to run the household, but my father protected me from the worst of it. I still went to college, then grad school. My mother died when I was 33, but again, I was insulated from much.
My late 30s/40s broke me. And that was a good thing. I dealt with a lot of personal failures and life struggles. I got divorced. My son was ADHD, and suffered depression plus other issues that we had to work through. (He’s fine now.) I had to help care for my aging father dealing with dementia until his death in 2017. These are real world issues that remind one of human frailty, and how little we really control. I came out kinder (I hope). More patient with my students. More aware of all the hooks of humanity that can drag down even those who badly want to succeed.
But that’s AGE. That’s failure. That’s suffering.
And I wish it on all of you. Not to be mean, but because it will make you better people. Some of you will have met these challenges much earlier. But by 50, most people will have faced at least one major failure. I hope you weren’t insulated from it. I hope you bore the brunt of it.
Because it will make you better. Kinder, more patient. That’s the true GRACE of age. Don’t fear it. Embrace it. This is the difference between wisdom and knowledge. I was lucky in my parents, and they, in turn, were mostly lucky in theirs My maternal grandfather had only an 8th grade education. But he was an Elder, the wisest man I’ve ever known. I hope that, someday, I’m as wise as he was.
Age is good. Look forward to it.
(share as you see fit.)
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In all my years of being a fan of Final Fantasy VII, I never realized the polarizing nature surrounding the debate about who Cloud loves more: Aerith or Tifa?
What’s clear to me is that Squaresoft wanted Aerith to be the heroine of FFVII from the very beginning. The opening scene of the game revolves around Aerith, with the “LOVELESS” sign appearing above her. The juxtaposition of Aerith walking the streets of Midgar, with Cloud simultaneously jumping from the train, sets these two up as the primary characters & love interests of FFVII.
Star-crossed lovers. Their destiny & fates intertwined. Soulmates.
The creators of FFVII have stated that Aerith, Barret, and Cloud were the original three characters created for the game. This confirms that Squaresoft always intended Aerith to be the central female character & love interest for Cloud. Just look at the original & official artwork Squaresoft produced – it’s all of Cloud and Aerith together.
Let us also remember: Aerith is both the FIRST & LAST character we see in the entire game. In addition – Aerith was one of the ORIGINAL three characters created for FFVII. This confirms that Cloud and Aerith were meant to be together from the very beginning. The ORIGINAL hero & heroine.
Since 1997, I always felt Cloud and Aerith were meant to be together. After finding Aerith looking beautiful under the “LOVELESS” sign, Cloud agrees to be Aerith’s bodyguard for the promise of one date. When Tifa asks Cloud to join AVALANCE, he only did so when Barret promised him more money. See the difference?
While Cloud was growing up, him and Tifa were childhood acquaintances – not friends or lovers. Tifa ignored Cloud when they were kids, allowed her friends to bully him, and excluded him (just like she did in the morning at Seventh Heaven during the Remake). As kids, Cloud and Tifa only had one conversation – a conversation Cloud doesn’t even remember. During this conversation, Cloud makes a friendly promise to Tifa – a promise Tifa begged Cloud to make (ie: “STRONG-ARMED”) – hardly a childhood romance. Meanwhile, Cloud and Aerith were both two lonely kids destined to meet and complete each other.
The facts are: Cloud only laughs and cries for one character in the entire game: Aerith. This suggests his emotional connection to Aerith is deeper than his emotional connection to Tifa. Even Tifa picks up on this, which leads her to having a jealous meltdown in the Shinra jail cells where she witnesses Cloud and Aerith developing their own “WORLD” together.
When Aerith dies, Cloud exclaims: “My fingers are tingling. My mouth is dry. My eyes are burning!” It is officially stated that Cloud’s “HEART” breaks when Aerith dies.
Even after Aerith dies, Cloud seeks the Promise Land so he can reunite with her. At the end of FFVII, Cloud exclaims: “…I think I’m beginning to understand. An answer from the planet…the Promised Land… I think I can meet her… there…” – anyone who doesn’t think Cloud is referring to Aerith is either an idiot or being purposely disingenuous. Furthermore, this quest for the Promise Land and search for Aerith (by Cloud only) is also included in numerous material Squaresoft has released since FFVII (ie: Final Fantasy Tactics, etc., etc.)
Furthermore, Cloud thought it was Aerith reaching down for him during the end of FFVII. It was ultimately Tifa who was reaching for Cloud, but his heart wanted it to be Aerith. See? Aerith is #1. Tifa is #2. That is how it has been from Day 1.
Even in Advent Children, Cloud is shown to be distant & cold towards Tifa while living in Aerith’s Church. If how Cloud acts toward Tifa, and where he’s living doesn’t tell you where his true feelings lie, I don’t know WHAT will.
Many Tifa supporters point to the VARIABLE Highwind scene as proof of Cloud and Tifa’s love. However, this scene doesn’t prove anything and is pure speculation (not to mention VARIABLE). Even if sex did occur, does sex automatically mean love? And would this have even taken place if Aerith had lived?
The fact remains: Aerith is the only character Cloud comes close to revealing his true feelings for. In Cosmo Canyon, Cloud says to Aerith: “But, I’m –I mean– we’re here for you, right?”
...the reason Cloud comes close to revealing his true feelings for Aerith is because of the wonderful chemistry & love the two have for one another.
Those that say Aerith was meant for Zack are also mistaken. Aerith states that she recognizes Cloud is different than Zack, saying to Cloud, “But you’re different. Things are different…” – Aerith loved Cloud for who he was and recognized that the past was the past.
Aerith also states in the OG that she wasn’t in a serious relationship with Zack, and that he was a real ladies man who probably moved on to someone else.
During Cloud’s and Aerith’s Golden Saucer date, Aerith confirms that although she initially liked Cloud because of Zack, she has grown to like Cloud for Cloud.
Finally – the official commercial approved & released by Squaresoft states: “A story of a love that could never be…” – obviously referring to Cloud and Aerith’s tragic star-crossed romance. This is also the official FFVII tagline.
Cloti supporters can dispute this all they want, but the official commercial (approved by Squaresoft) includes the word “Love” during the scene when Cloud holds Aerith in his arms. I need no more proof than this:
But if all this still doesn’t convince you, just go back and look at the official Amano artwork. 5 pieces exclusively of Cloud & Aerith together – the canon couple:
I’ll end with this...
Cait Sith: “Looks good. You are perfect for each other!” “Aerith’s star and Cloud’s star! They show a great future!”
You can claim Cait Sith isn’t always accurate with his predictions, but this was an obvious attempt by Squaresoft to further illustrate that Cloud and Aerith are meant to be.
“Poor Tifa!” ~Cait Sith
Want more reasons why Cloud and Aerith are the intended pairing of FFVII?
Go here: www(.)cloudandaerith(.)com – this website discredits every Cloti argument and lists all the wonderful & accurate reasons why Clerith is the **ORIGINAL** FFVII ship from 1997.
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My dark Kairi story/KHIV story chapter four: “I Do Not Fear Death”. World: PotC’s Dead Men Tell No Tales.
https://archiveofourown.org/works/21456412/chapters/62293999
Author’s Note: So… I think I decided with the Enchanted chapter—and am carrying it over with the rest of this story—that the Disney worlds aren’t going to be one-to-one what happens in their movies, since KH was at its best when it didn’t do that (like with KH1).
Also… when I was first reading this chapter, I felt like Pip wasn’t in it enough—so I kept adding in scenes—but upon editing it, I realize he’s in it TOO much and it’s kind of annoying… But I felt like I couldn’t really cut the scenes out. Like, I decided right when he was about to meet Riku, that he’d been in it enough and that I wasn’t going to have him in it the rest of the chapter… but then I realized I meant to have an introduction between him and Riku right there—and I didn’t want to risk forgetting to do that later, if I left it out here—so I had to change my mind about that. So… just suffer with it in this chapter, I guess (I’m sorry:(). And hopefully it shouldn’t be this bad in the future ones.
Swallow Chapter Four: I Do Not Fear Death
Sora’s PoV
'Kairi... I can feel that you’re looking for me', Sora thought, alone in his prison in a certain place. 'I'm... somewhat worse off than I even was in that Game now... But I know you'll find me. And thanks for never giving up on me.”
And having thought everything he needed to at the moment, Sora succumbed to the familiar lull of sleep again and dreamed of life…
Kairi’s PoV
In order to be strong, Kairi went to one of the hardest worlds she’d heard of from Sora: the Caribbean/
And while she should have been happy about the connection, she'd perhaps found to Sora in the last world... the Princess of Heart couldn't help looking back at what she’d done in Faith and Angel’s world, and only feeling despair. She felt horrible about how she'd treated Angel—and Kairi feared that she still might be led to do that same sort of thing, and it scared her. And she wanted to apologize—but there was nothing she could do about it now. Especially not when Pip was shivering in Kairi's pocket in discomfort, obviously feeling her intense emotions too strongly. So Kairi decided to instead focus on the matter at hand.
And the moment Kairi did just that, she thought that something was wrong... because there were no pirate flags on the sea at all?
"Do you think this can possibly be the Caribbean then, Pip? Given the story I just gave you about this place?" Kairi asked her new friend, who was stroking his chin thoughtfully at her question.
How Kairi wished that Riku was here with her, to help make sense of things (and Sora)... because despite their somewhat rocky relationship, they were still (sadly) closer now than they had been in years…
And Kairi'd so very nearly called Riku, just before she'd heard from Sora in Giselle’s world... but how could she have, when her lust and jealousy had led to a “Heartless version” of Sora there? Surely Riku would have been disgusted by her actions again…
But Kairi opted to not think of any of that now... Instead, she focused on that she was near a bell, that Sora had perhaps described to her once. So, this was Port Royal, then? And the reason there were no pirate ships nearby was because they would be shot on sight, and the pirates hanged for their crimes?
Before Kairi could think about any of her questions much more, she heard a massive ruckus and turned her attention that way. It seemed that the people here were trying to execute a girl about her age?!
Kairi felt her blood boil for that, as she remembered how women had been treated in some places Sora had told her about: worlds so bad, that he hadn't even wanted to think about them. But with how much Sora loved this place, it couldn't have been one of those. Could it?
"Whoa, Kairi!" said Pip, as he jumped onto her shoulder now. "I can literally feel you getting redder in your anger. Calm down, alright?"
"S-sorry!"
But if Kairi was being honest with herself? She now hated this stammering, uncertain version of herself, too. Perhaps her being anyone was just a lose-lose situation, then…
"Pip, we've got to go save that woman!" Kairi shouted, as she ripped at her dress from New York, so she could better run and fight in it. "Time is of the essence!"
"You don't have to tell me twice!"
And Kairi ran towards the guillotine in the town square. And even from far away, Kairi took in the book the woman was holding—that looked like it had stars on it... stars like the worlds—and prayed that this lady could help her find Sora.
...
The first thing Kairi saw when she was in a sea of people that made her feel very anxious, was that Captain Jack Sparrow was also being tried! It had to be him, based on Sora's descriptions, Kairi thought. The man before her had somewhat dark skin, with eyeliner around his brown eyes and above his mustache and a slight beard? Those were all descriptions that Kairi had heard for Jack. The princess also noticed his dreadlocks, clothes that tried to be fashionable despite being tattered, and his ridiculously large hat.
Kairi ran towards him instantly, and cut off the guillotine that was now mysteriously hanging from his neck. But she knew she wouldn't be thanked for it.
"Come on, Mister Sparrow!" Kairi cried, as she took his hand in hers and began leading him away. "Let us save that woman—and the boy who’s with her?—and be on our way!"
"…That's a fascinating sword you have there, missy. You wouldn’t happen to be a Bonnie Lass of Zola’s, would you? And if you are… by God, you and your lot haven’t aged a day.” Jack spoke to Kairi, as he punched a guard here and ducked under soldiers there, all while apparently examining Destiny’s Embrace.
And while Kairi wanted to be annoyed that he would just assume she was Sora's girlfriend because she had a Keyblade like he did, she was too busy to debate him.
Because a boy who had a light much like Sora's, was about to get a sword through the heart for trying to aid the girl in the blue dress! And Kairi had seen enough pure-hearted boys die, thank you very much... even if she had also been close to killing one herself.
The Light threw herself between the boy and girl, and the ten lances that were coming their way. And she thought that if she died this way, at least she'd go out a hero like Sora had... and maybe she'd even be put out of her misery and get to see him in some sort of afterlife.
But just when Kairi thought it was over for her, because she felt some blades going through her even as she tried to dodge them, she was pulled up and over them... and lived, and joined the ragtag group that had just formed.
And Kairi was eager to follow the older man who had just joined them, telling the group—Captain Jack in particular—that he had the Pearl just before them that they could board, but of course Heartless had to show up at that exact moment... and the nasty Neoshadows, too.
"Oh, fine!" the brunette bellowed as she began to impressively attack the overly-large Shadows with the chains that had bound her—all while Kairi used a quick cure spell on herself, and used aeroga to send some of their enemies flying away from them--"I see you want to grab at me just like men do, and I will give you the award that I do to them."
The boy who was not unlike Sora to Kairi, blushed—as if thinking the woman was talking about him?—and informed her to, "Focus on the fighting right now, Miss Carina," as he kicked at some of the Heartless.
Jack, meanwhile, was stabbing them through their stomachs.
And Mister Gibbs—Kairi was assuming it was Mister Gibbs, anyway—was hitting some over the head with the butt of his sword. But even with all of this, they were getting nowhere fast with the Heartless and the soldiers.
So Kairi put a barrier around herself and her new friends—so nothing could get to them as they ran—and the moment they were aboard the boat, she was instantly demanding answers from Captain Jack. "You- you were right. I am Sora's girlfriend... and he's been lost. Do you think there's anything here that might save him? Especially since he was sort of lost to the sea? Because my name means that... and he died for me."
Jack looked at Kairi with sympathy, she could see, but it was the girl in the blue dress—Carina—who answered Kairi as she seemed to size her up in an excited manner. "The Trident of Poseidon will serve you well, I think, and I'll help you find it. I'm trying to use it to find my father, and Henry is trying to get it to free his own, who is supposedly the Captain of the Flying Dutchman."
Kairi was about to go talk to Henry at this news, but she didn't know if she would've been ecstatic to talk to this son of Will and Elizabeth or not, since those two’s story was so similar to hers and Sora’s, but Kairi didn’t even get the chance to find out how she would have felt, because Mister Gibbs cut off any conversation post-hate, as Jack glared at him. "We will not be going after any legendary artifacts today. It's more than enough that I have Jack here at all, given his bad luck and lack of pulling any weight lately. And I won't be making any of it worse, by repeating the past.”
Almost immediately, Captain Jack Sparrow jumped in to argue, saying, "But we need to, mate, to stop Salazar. You remember his horrendousness from what I've told you, aye? Help me defeat him, and there may be an old magic compass in there for you."
And while those two were fighting over that, Pip jumped onto Kairi’s head and began fighting for her sake, just as it looked like two other male pirates had been about to? "Yo, old man,” said Pip. “Listen to the ladies—and who I'm assuming is your captain—here. For one thing, Kairi's been through enough and deserves her boyfriend back."
But unfortunately, no one was taking Pip seriously... as the captain looked at him with the most displeased look Kairi had ever seen, and deadpanned: "Great. Something else like the monkey Jack."
Kairi sensed that her friend was upset for being so easily dismissed—and she wanted to be there for him, like he just had been for her... but she was too busy making sense of something, that almost had her throwing up over the deck... She'd traveled at least twenty years into this world's future... which shouldn't have been possible, because Henry had just been born when Sora was here a year ago... and now he looked like an adult. That must have been what Jack had been getting at earlier. How had she managed to mess up traveling here so badly... or was this a good thing? Had her heart connecting with Sora's led to this?
Still feeling overheated and like she was going to be sick, Kairi ripped more of her brown dress off with one hand while she held onto the railing of the deck with the other. Near instantly, she felt great about how cool she felt and she breathed a sigh of relief, as Pip went back to hiding behind her hair… and Henry put a hand on her shoulder? "Miss, are you okay?" the young-man questioned. And was it Kairi, or did he sound like he'd gotten used to saying that kind of thing lately, with how easily he could have made her swoon if her heart didn’t already belong to Sora?
"I'm fine... I just noticed something. It's no matter.” And if the look Jack was giving her was any indication, he must have guessed the same thing she had... or just thought Sora was the luckiest man in the world, for having such a young-looking girlfriend.
"Anyway, Henry… out of all of us, I get the sense that Mister Gibbs will only listen to where you want to go. So direct us somewhere ‘nice’, I guess. But once we find the Trident, we’re going for it.”
And then Kairi went over to where the man with the fake eye—and his bigger pal—were stationed, to try to figure out how to help man such a ship.
…
It was when Kairi was being reminded (since she’d known some of this stuff from home) that the left side of the ship was the port and the right was the starboard, that Carina joined Kairi on the deck for fresh fruit and regarded her with a smile.
Meanwhile, the pirates Pintel and Ragetti—who Kairi had recently learned the names of—were kindly trying to fish for her.
"You look like you could use some cheer. Jack Sparrow has convinced Mister Gibbs that we do need the Trident, to defeat some fiend named Salazar, so we're headed in the direction I believe it’s in. And here’s how we're going to find it." And Carina pulled out the starry diary that Kairi had spied earlier, but up close she could tell there seemed to be some ruby encrusted into it.
"What is this, exactly?" Kairi questioned, as she sat up from where she’d been sitting so she could see the book better. "Jewels from the earth here? Do you think the Trident was buried under ground where these ar-" But Carina was already shaking her head “no” before Kairi had completely finished asking that question.
And seeming curious about what Kairi was talking about, Pip came to see what was going on. And Carina shook her head at his appearance, in a sort of bemused manner. “Somehow, I can believe about your talking pet here, but not these monsters Henry is blathering about. Anyway... I was left at an orphanage by my father... and he left me this journal. The cover of it represents constellations, and is said to lead to the Trident of Poseidon, and surely my father. And after studying star charts all my life, I know where this constellation is in the sky… and so we’re heading out that way.”
"Is there anything I can do to help?" Kairi queried, as she decided to make herself more useful by swabbing at the deck some. "Wait, actually... what was it you were saying about monsters?"
"She was only speaking of the worst kind," said a voice from beside Kairi's ear. It was Jack... and he seemed grim, as opposed to the usual happy-go-lucky and devil-may-care attitude Kairi had gleaned from him thus far. "Salazar: a ghost who's an enemy of all pirates... including you, lassie."
"A ghost?" Pip asked the question that Kairi had wanted to—and it made her smile--but when she had visions of what this ghost might look like, she definitely didn't smile. He seemed half-human and half-ghost, and parts of his hair and clothes were being torn away from him, into the other realm, as segments of him remained. And that black, villain-type smile from him...
Kairi swallowed, in realizing she felt torn apart like him she was: because didn’t she want to be both a Pure Light and someone who had a cruel heart now?
"You see something, don't you?" Henry asked, as he came up beside Kairi now, clearly having taken in her mystified look. "You see something, the way that I can almost see visions of my parents when I look at you."
Utterly confused, Kairi was about to ask why Henry should see his family when he saw her... but then she thought it must have been because Sora had helped shaped their lives... and she and Sora were very much the same since sharing the paopus. So perhaps that was the reason?
"I-" but just as Kairi began speaking, the nightmare she had just seen came to life as day turned into night: the electrified ghosts appeared out of the ether, and walked through their own ship and onto the Black Pearl. And before Kairi knew it, she was being held captive by Salazar and was the defenseless girl once again.
"You were never the gentleman I was, Sparrow," Salazar drawled in a chilling whisper, that made gooseflesh appear all over Kairi's skin, as she tried to get out of the chokehold he had on her. "So, you surely believed that women on a ship were bad luck. So why do you have two here now? Surely they're liabilities... like this."
"...Please," said Kairi, as a single tear sled from her eyes. "If you really are—or were--just like you say... let me go. I'm not even fifteen yet. And I'm on a mission to save someone..."
And he let her go so fast, that Kairi was first mad she hadn’t tried that same thing on Master Xehanort… But then she was furious that she hadn’t even tried to attack Salazar here, so she charged him now… and swiftly paid the price for it, as Pintel and Ragetti—who had missed everything that was going on, and were happily presenting the fish they’d caught for Kairi—were stabbed through the middle, by Salazar himself and some of his lackeys. And they were coming for the rest of the crew, too, when Jack made the wise decision to careen the ship into an area where you could still see daylight and they were vaporized.
But Salazar, in being far too clever, jumped into the dark ocean with the rest of the crew and disappeared for the time-being, as Kairi ran over to her new friends and tried to heal them again and again and again… but to no avail.
This was what she got for embracing her darkness, wasn’t it? Kairi decided as she cried. Why had she ever thought it was a good idea? And yet… she couldn’t let it go, either. Not because she didn’t want to, but because she couldn’t fight the type of it that was settling into her veins even now, like a cancer, as it begged her for revenge against that man… and she wanted to comply.
“Salazar won't let such a thing happen again," Jack quietly warned them all, as they already began the horrible price of trying to give the two lost pirates a sea burial… Why did death have to be so final? Kairi pondered whilst she shook all over. "It was an accident on his part. The Pearl's speed—to allow us get close enough to the setting sun, coupled with Salazar's shock… it won’t happen again. When he strikes again, and he will, it’ll be fully at night, and when he feels he’s had enough time to nurse his wounds. So, we must be ready. And I’m sorry that I’ve gotten you all into this.”
There was a side of Kairi that wondered if something else had saved them... Sora had told her that the goddess Calypso had blessed him with the power of the sea always being his—or something like that—and she wondered if Sora had been watching over them, and he’d made the waves carry them away in that moment. But she didn’t say it. Not after her friends Pintel and Ragetti died because of her own stupidity, she certainly didn’t—as she wrapped her arms around her torso and just tried to keep herself together right now.
"We need to get to the Trident of Poseidon now. Forget a day’s rest and all of that," said Henry, with an urgency that Kairi had never seen in him before, but that reminded her again of a certain leader: her Sora. Henry seemed to be speaking when Carina couldn’t here, as she was clearly too shaken to talk of the quest that meant so much to her. Instead, she seemed about to go hide in the captain's cabin… or perhaps in her own head. "It's our only chance against Salazar... because believe you, me, I've faced him before and it will especially be no picnic next time. Perhaps with it, we can free our fathers and they can help.”
In the background, away from all of them now, Mister Gibbs was laughing... but to Kairi, he seemed to be doing so without humor. And as much as it somewhat bothered Kairi that he still clearly didn't want to help out, now that they were in whatever they were in... she also felt bad for him. He hadn't wanted to assist Jack for this very reason, so perhaps he would have been well within his rights to refuse.
"Then get back to following the star charts I gave you,” Carina urged. “I’ll hold lantern light over them, so you can do just that.”
No one objected with what Carina had to say, but rather adhered to her commands… all while Kairi stayed locked in her trauma. It seemed to be the story of her life, and she hated it.
"You should go talk to Carina," Pip tried to persuade Kairi now, as he lovingly braided what was left of her hair. "She seemed spooked."
"I know, I want to," Kairi agreed. "But she's busy helping Jack navigate—because I guess it’s Jack now. Gibbs is too drunk to steer—didn’t you here?"
So Kairi went to speak with Henry instead. Not because she sensed she needed to, or anything like that, but rather because she wanted to. She still felt her furious emotions like a festering disease inside of her—and she thought she might do something stupid, like kill some harmless White Mushrooms if she didn't try to calm herself down.
"Henry," Kairi said, as she got in an assembly line beside him, so they could get done whatever needed to be done while still talking. "Your parents knew my boyfriend Sora... did they ever mention him at all?"
Henry smiled rather bitterly for Kairi's words, and it only took her a moment to realize why. Of course! Will hadn't had a chance to be a large part of Henry's life. How foolish she'd been, to forget that.
"Henry, I'm sorr-"
But he was already lifting a hand up in a sign of peace. "I get it, Kairi. Don't fret. Bad memories just returned to me for a moment there. Forgive me. But, yes: my mother in particular spoke of a strong and kind young-man named Sora who had helped them out. Mother thought he had a true heart... and trusted him much more than she did Jack. "
And if anything could have lifted Kairi’s spirits and made her think she was doing the right thing to try and bring Sora back, it would have been what Henry just said. And so Kairi smiled her own secret grin, and spoke. “…Henry thank you so much for those kind words here. You have no idea what they mean to me. And to return the favor, I’m going to tell you that Sora talked to me about your parents. He said how brave and strong your mother was, and how he was proud of her for that… And he was so sad about what happened to your father, and hated that he had such a fate... hated that your parents did, really. And I know Sora would have loved to meet you like I now am. He probably would have thought that you're a mix of the best parts of both your parents." Kairi knew that she thought that... from what she'd heard about Will and Elizabeth from Sora, anyway.
It was somewhat weird for Kairi to talk about Sora in the past tense in such a way. A few months ago, she would have rebelled against the very idea or it. But the Princess promised herself that she only spoke in such ways now, because she would bring him back.
"…Thank you for that, Miss Kairi. Thank you." And Kairi thought that Henry might have said more—Pip was cutely motioning with his hands that he should—if a ship hadn't rammed into the Pearl that very moment.
Fear stole its way into Kairi’s heart, as she thought Salazar must have been back already… but it wasn’t him.
And then Kairi was flying backwards—nearly over the edge—from where this boat was still ramming itself into the Black Pearl, but she thankfully regained her bearings… and not by grabbing onto the railing, like her weak, past self would have, but by summoning her Keyblade and digging it into the deck, until the Black Pearl had righted itself again.
“Oy! You’re wearing a getup similar to that of those Organizers… wonderful,” Jack moaned from beside Kairi, as he surveyed the scene. The person who now seemed to have everyone aboard’s attention, was the man standing on his decent sized, navy blue ship, who wore sky and snow colored robes large, a strange unicorn mask, and had long and silver hair, much like Riku’s old style.
“Who are you?!” Mister Gibbs demanded, as he glowered across the way at the man with the same colored hair as him. Kairi wondered if he was trying to find a camaraderie with the man, since they arguably seemed to be about the same age, to tell him that that he shouldn’t be acting like this… but Kairi couldn’t be sure. “And can you get your stern out of-“
At those words from Gibbs, Kairi noticed Carina laugh for some reason. But then she quickly became unsettled again, though not as much as she had been in having to admit once and for all that ghosts existed.
“I swear if you’re with The Master of Masters—or Organization XIII, like Captain Jack suspected—I’ll-”
But Kairi was cut off when the man literally threw dolphin Heartless her way. One had even smacked into Kairi’s chest, with its razor-sharp fin, and cut a deep gash into her… this day—for it was nearing day again—just kept getting better and better, and Kairi was fairly certain she was just numb at this point. Oh well.
The redhead slashed at every Heartless she could see—and all of her friends were taking a page from her book; Carina was even bravely hitting them with her shoes—but she wasn’t foolish enough to let the man go without answering her.
“Why would you send dolphin Heartless my way?! I’m assuming you know my name means ‘sea’, and so you’re making a reference here… but does that mean you want to hurt me? I thought your ‘Master’ wanted me to use my anger!” Kairi was taking a shot in the dark here, that he was one of the Master of Masters’ pawns, but she thought that he must be. Since the Master of Masters was the only one (until this guy) who was wearing a robe since they’d defeated the Organization in the Keyblade War.
And in another meeting with the Master of Masters that Kairi had had recently, he had told her that he had five followers… all of which who had an animal motif. Why he had told her this crucial information, Kairi wasn’t sure… but she was starting to make some guesses about it all.
“Because my Master isn’t yet sure what he wants to do with you… Kairi, is it? He says that you often cast a great darkness, but also a great light. If it were me, I’d end the threat that you are now… but he’s gentler than I am, so here I test.” The man’s voice was deep and strong, and it reminded Kairi a lot of what Leon had sounded like in the short time he’d helped to take care of her.
And despite how Kairi had been trying so hard not to cry lately (even after others dying because of her, because sadly… what else was new?), she nearly did here… in learning how much she must have fallen to darkness—for this man to be saying this to her—and she wondered what sort of plan of the Master’s she was allowing to fall into place by being this way.
“But why?!” Kairi demanded. “Why be so wishy-washy about me?! What’s-”
But Kairi didn’t get her answer. The Heartless—that were not truly being defeated by her allies, because only Keyblades could do that—were now using their blades to put holes in the ship. Great.
"Miss, Kairi: can you use that special blade of yours to stop this?” Henry asked, as he plunged a sword through a Heartless’ would-be-heart… but only for it to pop up again beside Jack. Kairi dived over the pirate’s head to stab at it—imagining how Jack may have done this to protect Sora in the past, and thus she was paying him back for protecting her boy—and sighed.
More and more Heartless were coming—though Kairi didn’t get it, since the man didn’t seem to be summoning them… odd—and she was trying to destroy them as fast as she could, before they came back (how were they doing so so fast?!) and made more holes appear in the boat.
She used some of her pearl magic to get rid of ten going towards the Crow’s Nest here (well, as best as she could, anyway, since some of them were flopping away from her attacks as if they were break dancing), and used fire to get at some coming for Carina’s hair, and was about to do a third thing… when a mast fell down and landed on the Pearl. And with the massive injuries the Black Pearl had already sustained, it was now being split in two—while everyone screamed—until…
Until that man teleported onto the center of the wreckage and used a force field to keep the Black Pearl from breaking even more, and to even stitch parts of it back together.
“What are you doing?!” both Jack and Gibbs demanded; the words had very nearly been on Kairi’s lips, too, or at least they would have been if she hadn’t seen where Mister Unicorn was going with this.
“You want me to fight you to prove myself, don’t you? Well, here I am!” Kairi exclaimed, as she stood on opposite ends of the man and readied her Keyblade. “Let’s go!”
But Carina took Kairi by surprise. “No,” she said, as she put a hand on her shoulder and walked past her. “You did enough for us in defeating… those things. Let me do this for you!”
“No!” Kairi protested. But the… the monster—he could be no less to Kairi—had already cast a shield around Carina and himself, so no one could get to them.
Carina was being clever—in trying to find a good place to kick Blue in the shins, it looked like; and was the monster actually giving her a chance to do so?—but it wasn’t enough for Kairi. She summoned Thunder, not even caring that she might strike herself, to try and break the barrier and get Carina out of there.
“Here! Let me at it!” Pip shouted, as he got to the top of said barrier and attempted to clobber it with his paws. “I swear I’m good at things, other than just writing. And I don’t want the lady to get hurt!” And Kairi couldn’t believe that some of what Pip was doing was working… he was creating pressure points on the top of the shield. So, what was this? A power of friendship thing, or-
But Kairi didn’t get to finish that thought—or to warp-strike to the top of it like she would have liked to—because just then the fiend had summoned a Keyblade and stabbed at Carina’s arm. And he severely injured it—blood was sliding down down down her arm, as it seemed about to come off—and Henry was bellowing Carina’s name at this point, as he punched the force over and over again, thus creating more wear in it.
Carina wasn’t one who was helpless, however—not even in situations like this—and Kairi could tell she was going to attempt to press the monster’s eyes back into his skull, as he aimed for her neck, if she didn’t do anything.
And Kairi was sick of this—sick of all of this!—because even though she’d been in and seen horrible wars before, it had never been as brutal as this… the people hadn’t attempted to end each other in such horrible ways. It was so much… too much. And it seemed to Kairi that after Sora had been taken out of the world, all light had died with him.
And so Kairi found herself screaming for unicorn man’s fate—she couldn’t believe it!—just as Jack and Gibbs had decided to try and help Carina, instead of trying to save the sinking Pearl at the moment.
“Carina, no! Stop! Please stop! I don’t- I don’t want this amount of bloodshed, and neither should anyone!” Kairi wailed.
Carina listened to what Kairi had said and stopped—and she wore a look on her face there, as if she couldn’t believe what she’d been about to do, either—and fortunately, Unicorn Man didn’t use Carina’s distractedness as a way to defeat her. Instead, he began to make the barrier dissipate as he bowed to her. “You’ve done well, Princess Kairi. The Master will be most pleased. I’m Ira, by the way.”
But not caring about any of that in the slightest, Kairi found herself leaping into the air so she could get to Carina faster now that she was able to go in that direction… but just as she was, someone was diving down and reaching for Carina, too… and the idiots they were, they couldn’t change their trajectory in time and ended up hitting each other instead of getting to Carina.
And feeling a concussion coming on, as she smashed back down onto the deck—but saw him getting up much easier, and already fixing the sinking boat with his own magic—Kairi couldn’t help feeling irritated with the figure.
“Riku, why are you here?!” she snarled. “Did you not trust me by myself here? I swear I’m fine! You may be messing up our chance to find Sora this way… if he’s sending me to places for me and just me.”
And Kairi felt awful after those words had left her mouth—of course she did; and she thought that if that Ira had still been here, he wouldn’t be giving her his blessing anymore—but she also couldn’t deny it was true. But how horrible had she become, to always be hurting Riku like this (she could see it in his eyes), whilst he only built her up these days?
“Kairi-” Riku began, as he helped Henry get Carina to her feet… and now everyone was staring at her. Great.
Kairi bit her lip, and again resisted the urge to cry… or to punch Riku in the arm like she had used to.
“Kairi, I swear I didn’t come here to spy on you. Master Yen Sid said that he sensed a certain power, and I-”
Except that Kairi didn’t believe him. How could she, when she’d been being babysat since everything had started when she was fourteen? the only time they hadn’t babysat her was during the Keyblade War, but maybe they should have. Maybe if they had then, Sora wouldn’t be- he wouldn’t be.
Now, Kairi had thought she’d gotten better and stronger this past year… but now it was apparent that Riku (and perhaps others?) were scared of her darkness. And so, it was back to being babysat again.
She also honestly felt like he was here to steal her spotlight, like always.
And with the strong array of emotions she’d felt since coming here, Kairi was done with it. She was done with everything.
So, before anyone could say anything more to her, or judge her, Kairi leapt into the air and began gliding away… to some island a ways away from them all. And she heard Riku calling her name as she did so, and Jack saying how she’d suspected that Sora would go for a nicer girl… and now she did let all of her emotions out.
…
On the island—that housed rum for some reason; and how Kairi was tempted to try drinking some now, to drown all her sorrows—Kairi fought back the urge to destroy the White Mushrooms around her, like she’d thought about doing before… since for whatever reason, there just happened to be some on this island who were dancing around her and asking for magic.
She probably would have slaughtered them in her fury, if she wasn’t trying to find her old self again, since everyone apparently hated who she was now… and maybe they were right for it.
“Sora,” Kairi spoke to her boyfriend now, as she clasped her hands together and raised her head towards the sky—hating herself for this, too, because why was she acting like Sora was in heaven? She was going to find him before he got there. She was!—“Part of me wonders why I’m bothering with all of this. I’m so different now… maybe you wouldn’t love me anymore. Not that I only want you back so you can love me. I want you back even if you hate me… but I wish I knew how you’d feel about this, even if I don’t think I’d change who I am now… even if you asked.”
Out of the corner of her eye, Kairi thought she could see some ghostly image of Sora nodding his head and smiling at her… thought she knew it was all in her head. But it still made her feel better, so she got off from the log she’d been sitting on and flew back to where the Pearl was.
Well, the Black Pearl wasn’t exactly where it had been—how glad Kairi was, that ships were slow compared to some of the vehicles she’d seen in other worlds now. And when she got there, she saw Barbossa standing beside Jack and among everyone else?! That’s who Kairi assumed it was, anyway, based on Sora’s descriptions of everyone in this world (had she mentioned that this was Sora’s favorite world that he’d been to?)
Kairi landed down in the ship and summoned her Keyblade. She may have been above fighting innocents now, but she also wasn’t going to suffer a wolf in sheep’s clothing. Kairi knew that Sora had said Barbossa had changed for the better the last time he’d been here, but she also didn’t want to risk it.
“It’s okay, Kairi. We’ve got it figured out,” Riku said, as he came up to Kairi and slung an arm over her shoulder. And she appreciated that he wasn’t telling her to dismiss her Keyblade…
"Missy, I'm her' because I promised Salazar Sparra's head. But given that it's still on his shoulders, that there must mean I'm helpin' him with a plan to keep it there, don't it? So, I would quiet yer suspicions if you really want to find the Trident of Poseidon."
Kairi sighed when she’d heard this Barbossa’s explanation of things, but for once it wasn't an aggravated sigh. This captain had rightly pointed out she was too trigger-happy lately, and so she'd calm down.
And Pip, seeming to sense Kairi's resolution, climbed up her arm and patted her shoulder, too, before he went beneath her hair again.
Kairi would have liked to talk to Captain Barbossa more—to try and get them through this little hurtle, as she wished she could have talked to many people on her last adventures. Because maybe that could have helped solve a lot of issues—but before she could, the water below her was literally being ripped in half (so that Kairi was thrown to the other side of the Pearl, as it tried to be torn apart itself… again).
And as it happened, Kairi could see that Barbossa’s eyes were all for Carina. And she had a lot of suspicions there… but she didn’t have time to deal with that right now.
“Kairi!” Riku yelled her name, as she began falling back into the ocean as a part of the ship finally completely broke off and began tipping over. But she refused to be saved by him—or to ever need rescuing again—so she stuck her Keyblade into the part of the boat that was still active and pulled herself back up. And she fell into Riku’s arms as she made her way back towards her friends… but this time, she didn’t care. She’d managed to help herself… and it felt good to be appreciated like this.
But Kairi couldn’t dwell on maybe having fixed her relationship with Riku for too long. Captain Jack and Barbossa had managed to get what was left of the Pearl to a nearby island, and Henry and Carina were getting off there and jumping into the opened-up ocean beneath them, and Kairi meant to do the same.
And before she knew it, she was in that area—with Riku once again shouting her name, as he followed after her—for she had used a variation of Sora’s “quick run” in order to get where she was faster. But though Sora had moved in circles in order to do that, Kairi mostly moved in a straight line… and Riku seemed to be copying Kairi to try and do the same thing. Kairi would have laughed at all of this, if things hadn’t been so sad lately.
Once they were on the ocean floor, Riku asked her the million munny question. “Kairi, what are we doing here?”
Kairi didn’t answer at first. And she could tell by his hurt face, that he at first thought she was doing it out of spite. But as she let Pip climb out onto her arm, she swiftly showed him that wasn’t the case. “Riku, meet my friend Pip. Pip, Riku.”
“Nice to meet you!” Pip exclaimed, as Kairi saw him get into Riku’s face so he could see him better. “Make sure our girl here keeps a good head on her shoulders, okay?”
“…Right,” Riku answered. “Nice to meet you.” And while Riku seemed to do better meeting Pip then Sora had always thought he would with his friends Pooh, Tigger, and Piglet—and whoever else—Kairi could tell he still wasn’t thrilled. And here she did laugh… because that was Riku for you. And she was so glad to have him after losing Sora. She was.
“To answer your question, Riku,” Kairi responded, as she began running after Carina and Henry now—since something seemed to be going on up ahead—“we’re trying to find this Trident that has powers over all sea curses… and I’m wondering if it’ll save Sora, since he gave his life for me. And my name means that.”
While Riku began running with her, Kairi tried to gauge his reaction to her words. How did he feel about Sora having died for her and not him or any of the others? Kairi didn’t know the answer to that… and she selfishly didn’t know if she wanted to. Whatever the answer, it would probably make her hate herself more.
But Riku didn’t really react to her words in the slightest. He simply clenched his fist and muttered, “Let’s go get it, then.” And suddenly he was taking off faster than even she had been.
And up ahead… Kairi saw Salazar—how had he gotten here so fast?! Carina had just figured this all out! Was it because he was a ghost and could teleport?—had seemed to possess Henry and had the Trident, and was attacking Carina with it!
And Kairi understood why Salazar would do this… he knew that if Kairi’s friends got ahold of the Trident, he would be destroyed… so now he was trying to show Carina that if she wanted that weapon, she’d have to kill Henry to get it.
Captain Jack Sparrow darted past Riku and Kairi now, and was fighting against the possessed Henry for his and Carina’s sake. And Kairi had never felt so moved by him.
“Let the boy go, Salazar,” Kairi could make out the captain saying with a calmness that belied the situation. “Your fight is with me… I destroyed you and your men years ago—gave you a fate worse than death, even—and mayhaps I apologize for that. But even so… fight me.”
And Salazar was battling Jack now…. while Carina seemed desperately to reach out to Henry’s heart. “Henry, I know you’re in there…” she cried, while trying to get in edgewise, so she could try and grab the Trident from “him” while Salazar was preoccupied with his number one enemy. “Think of all we shared, and fight back!” Carina pleaded.
“Kairi,” Riku said now, as he spun her away from the scene before her, so she could focus on the matter at hand. “Maybe you should do the same that she’s doing… if you sensed that Sora might be here—and you know how Yen Sid and I think he’s trying to go to worlds you might be in. So, if you came here, he might be—then try contacting him, too.”
And Kairi would’ve—perhaps again becoming the girl who used to try and use light and do support from the side—if she hadn’t just then heard a voice she now somehow knew so well, whispering behind her ear.
“Really, Kairi? Really? You’re so easily going to go back to the delicate girl you were before your beau sacrificed himself for you? I’m disappointed.”
“Leave her alone!” Riku stepped in between the Master of Masters and Kairi, probably so she could continue to try and reach Sora, she thought. “She’s not going to fall into your plan! She’s not going to-”
And Kairi wasn’t going to do that. She was sick of her friends and herself following the Organization’s plan!
So she decided to just completely ignore the Master of Masters for the time being, and instead went to help Jack and Carina against Henry. “I think you were getting through to him, Carina,” Kairi said, as she gave the other girl a one-armed hug before jumping into the fray. “Keep at it… and I’m sure things will work out. But at the same time… you’re a smart girl. If you want to use your head and work something else out, I believe in you there, too.”
“I wouldn’t believe in anything you say, little girl, since I bested you earlier.” And before Kairi could say anything to that—or try to parry his incoming strike—she was stabbed through the stomach by Salazar. (And was Kairi imagining it… or was Riku trying to teleport to her side now, while the Master said an exasperated “Wow”?)
But she’d become too strong to be “bested” so easily… as she was still impaled on the sword, Kairi grabbed a hold of the butt of it and used it as leverage to throw Salazar—who was still holding onto it—hard to the ground. She then did a quick curaza spell to fix the damage. But she still didn’t feel one hundred percent yet.
“Are you okay there, lass? I may have misjudged you,” Captain Jack asked, as he knelt down beside Kairi and put a hand over her wound.
“I don’t think so!” the Master of Masters bellowed towards Riku, as he froze him in place so he couldn’t get to Kairi? What? Did he think the help she was getting from Jack was more than she deserved? Kairi had before thought she didn’t hate anyone more, than those who kept her away from Sora, she now imagined that those who kept her from Riku were just as annoying.
“Hold on, Riku!” Kairi called his way. “I’ll give you a panacea, and-”
But Kairi lost her train of thought, when she saw Carina had again taken a page from her book. She’d jumped towards the possessed Henry, not even caring for the weapon that was in her way, and though it seemed to nearly slice her side to smithereens… but she was able to wrest the Trident out of Salazar’s hands with this motion, and she was using it instantly. “As the one who now has power over all the sea, I command you—gods and goddesses—to release all your curses!”
But perhaps the Trident in and of itself was a curse, because it turned into water… never to be seen again, Kairi presumed.
Then, the sea above them all began to close… and Kairi thought she might faint. She was too injured to make a Corridor of Light to get herself and her friends out of this. And though she supposed Riku could try and use a Corridor of Darkness again—if worst came to worse—she knew the ill effects that it would have on everyone.
And now the Master of Masters was laughing without humor. “I have no desire to have a watery grave. You all work this one out. And Kairi… continue to be strong. Otherwise, I’ll have reason to kill you! And who wants that?!” As soon as he’d said those words, the Master of Masters was gone… but amazingly, he’d let Riku out of the spell he cast on him before he did—maybe he had plans for him, too—and Riku noticed immediately what was happening and muttered a curse.
“We have to get out of here… now,” Kairi stated the obvious. She quickly healed Carina, and then went to Carina’s side to help her pick up an unconscious Henry. What she’d done with the Trident had freed him, so now Salazar was standing in front of everyone again in all of his hideous, undead—yet human—glory.
Captain Jack had just motioned for Gibbs—who was still in the ship above them—to send the anchor down, so they could all ride it to the surface… but now Salazar and his crew were trying to kill all of their enemies, so they couldn’t get to it first.
But there was no guarantee they’d even survive if they made it to the surface, since sooner or later they’d have to face the fate they’d missed out on long ago. And Kairi had to wonder what kind of desperation drove Salazar… was it what existed in her heart now?
And to try and get to her new friends and to save them before it was too late, Kairi warp-striked to try and get back on what was left of the Pearl, so she could then pull them up. And she could tell that Riku was doing the same thing, having been inspired by her to do so. And he was rescuing Jack and Henry before she could blink... Kairi, then, went to rescue Carina... but it was all over.
For just as she had gotten Carina to the surface, Salazar had grabbed ahold of Kairi and was ramming her into the water wall beside her, as the pathway began to close above her. "If it weren't for foolish people like you, no one would have to suffer!" he hisse.
Kairi wanted to argue that—because maybe she was becoming better again—but was unable to, with how much pain she was in and the water filling up in her mouth.
Kairi tried to get her Keyblade into a position where she could use it... but then she accidentally dropped it into the wave and was losing consciousness.
Above her, Kairi could hear Carina screaming for someone to save her... but then Carina starting to change her mind when it became clear that someone was going to have to sacrifice themselves to fulfill her wish.
"What am I to you?!" Carina cried. And Kairi heard the voice of Barbosa answer "Treasure", before he willingly fell on Salazar—and towards his death—to free her from his hold. And then Kairi felt Riku sharply tugging on her arms to bring her to safety, as she sobbed.
…
For the first time in what felt like ages to Kairi, she had chosen to be selfless and stay with her new friends for a few months—foregoing her search for Sora for that long—to help them deal with the aftermath of everything that had happened.
Captain Jack was the easiest. It seemed to Kairi that he was... just lonely, in seeing Will and Elizabeth—and Henry and Carina—together, even if he was secretly happy for them. And once Kairi learned that there was an "Angelica" in his past, she helped chart a path for him to find her on "Rum Runner Island"—the island that maybe she had unwittingly found?—since he still didn't have his magic compass back.
And Jack looked at Kairi with something like warmness in his eyes, when he chose to shake her hand. "Yer a good lass, Kairi. Don't let anyone tell ya different. And you go on and remember it yourself, savvy?"
"Savvy," Kairi replied, with a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes--since she thought it was proven with Barbossa’s death (and perhaps Pintel and Ragetti’s before that. And- and Sora’s), that she wasn't very good at all.
And it was Mister Gibbs who seemed to notice Kairi was feeling this way. He told her not to feel too bad about Barbossa, since at least she’d tried to help everyone—unlike him, in his eyes. It seemed to Kairi that Gibbs hated his own inaction on this recent quest of his now. Something she could relate to—and since he thought Barbossa had been happy to give up his life for his daughter’s good spirits, anyway. Kairi didn’t have much to say to that, other than trying to put two-and-two together to try and figure out where the compass Jack had lost was at. He’d promised it to Gibbs, hadn’t she? Kairi swore to the man she’d figure it out and come back and get it to him. Someday.
After that, Kairi had gone with Henry, Carina, and Riku to meet Will and Elizabeth. And her heart soared for Henry and Elizabeth being reunited with father and husband respectively... but Kairi wished Sora could have been here, too, with the Trident having been destroyed… but he wasn’t. And Kairi could tell that Riku was just as upset about it.
For days, Kairi trained with Carina—to help her learn how to fight, as Carina now wanted to be a pirate—and while the other lady had informed Kairi that she didn't at all blame her for her father's death, she didn't seem to sense that Kairi thought people around her in general seemed to die, and didn't comfort her about it. But Kairi thought that it was more that Carina just didn’t know how to, since as a scholar… she seemed to spend most of her life in her own head. And that was fine. Kairi got it. Maybe she’d even been the same in the past, somewhat.
Henry, like Gibbs, was there for Kairi, however. One day, when she was jotting down some things she thought Destiny Islands did better in terms of sailing to help the people here, Henry interrupted her.
"You can't blame yourself, you know," he gently reprimanded her, as he laid a hand on her wrist. "I used to blame myself for my parents' situation... and told myself that if I hadn't been born, my mother could have freed my father from his terrible fate long ago, and not be trapped in a life she hated... But I also knew that my parents loved me, and that the lies we tell ourselves can be the deadliest. So you know that, too."
And it was after Henry told Kairi this, and she felt light return to her heart once more, that she finally decided to leave the Caribbean. She'd been dreaming of healing these people, but here they had done that for her.
"You know..." said Will, as Kairi was about to leave alongside Riku, with a knapsack over her shoulder. "Even though I was dying at the time, and it was hard to tell, Sora was very angry about what Davy Jones did to me... and even then, I assumed it was because he didn't want to be taken away from someone, like he didn't want me to have to be taken away from Elizabeth."
"And when Will went missing in searching for the Isla de Muerta, it was Sora, Donald, and Goofy that I trusted to help me find him, not Jack. And I suppose it could be because Sora reminded me of Will—of us—if he had someone like you waiting for him at home,” Elizabeth added on to her husband’s claims, as she winked at Kairi.
"Thank you," Kairi said shyly, before making the rash decision to hug the spouses. And though it clearly shocked them both, they swiftly hugged her back. They were parents, after all.
And to partly thank Will and Elizabeth for that and so much more, when Kairi just happened to see barnacles under their bed, she took them outside and burnt them... so the memory of this Davy Jones would hopefully leave them alone forever.
And it was when Kairi was outside on Elizabeth’s (and now her family’s) beautiful green island, that she found Riku sitting there as he let the wind dance over him.
Pip bound up to Kairi then, as it looked like he'd just been on the gummi ship with Riku, and he excitedly told her, "Kairi! What happened with the Trident seemed to give Riku a vision! He says Sora's in a world of... data? Though apparently, it's not the Tron world or Datascape, whatever that means. Isn't that good news?!"
And trying to hide the fact that she was sad Riku had seen this and not her, too—because hadn't Riku and Master Yen Sid and Riku theorized Sora was trying to get to worlds she'd like?—Kairi sat down beside him and said, "Then I guess we should see if Cid can get our phones to search for worlds with data."
#mine#my work#Shanna writes#my writing#swallow#kairi#sokai#kh#kingdom hearts#swallow chapter 4#swallow chapter four#chapter four#chapter 4#long post
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Reading Homestuck^2 as of Page 5. > ==>
What’s with the question mark look on Rosebot? Are we not going with a traditional Homestuck robot here, or adding some sort of twist? If we are, is Davebot going to share it?
DIRK: Ok but like what are you actually calling me about. ROSEBOT: I just thought you might like to know that we're getting pretty close to your chosen crash site. ROSEBOT: We can head down to the planet below as soon as Terezi's finished... working out how we do that. DIRK: How to land? DIRK: ... DIRK: Wait, crash site??
Well, you did put TEREZI in charge of landing... (rimshot)
And, yeah, jokes aside, this is no surprise. This wouldn’t be Homestuck without everything fucking up constantly.
ROSEBOT: Don't be such a chud, Dirk.
Chud???
> ==>
Oh God, more serif Dirktext narration. We’re going to be getting a whole damn lot of that, aren’t we?
I walk— oh no, right, I don't have to do that explicitly. It's easy to get into the habit of just narrating everything, even when it's a bit creatively redundant. This is where the advantage of visuals comes in, to make my life as an omniscient overseer a little bit less tedious. I can just do whatever, and we can all see it happen, and nobody has to fight with a testy cherub lady for control of their own legs or anything. No need to pull a whole thesaurus out of my ass just so I can go to the bathroom. Seriously, it's a big relief.
Heheh. Interesting.
That doesn't mean this (*gestures to the narrative*) isn't still going to be a thing, though. Sometimes retreating back into the warm, welcoming folds of traditional prose is just going to be the best way forward, and as someone whose mind is uniquely capable of understanding this conceit, I'll be the determining factor as to when and where it happens.
Mhmm.
It's time to get this story back on the rails, back to what it was always supposed to be. I know it, and you've somehow always known it too. There was something else, some other route that Homestuck was meant to take but then didn't, a way that wouldn't've spent so much time dicking around with stuff nobody cares about. Like seriously, why did we all have to sit through talking about everyone's most intimate and private feelings for two hundred thousand fucking words. That would never have happened in Act 1. Where did it all go wrong?
Um?
Yeah; as flawed as Andrew’s approach always was, this sort of statement is clearly coming from someone who didn’t learn shit when it comes to the Ultimate Riddle.
So yeah, this is much like it was in the Epilogues. Andrew conceived of an ultimate victory as an escape from the bounds of Canon itself, an escape from destiny and purpose because the well-being of the characters is actually more important than having every question answered. And then, with the Epilogues... explored what would result if not just the readers, but a character like Dirk willing to coerce everyone along, forced things to resume the path of plot importance.
Expect his comeuppance. Like, really, really hard. Though I couldn’t say how many pages that could possibly take.
I've been studying canon—or rather, what's left of it—and I think I've found it. The critical moment, in the wake of which everything started to take a nosedive into the protracted, endless slog of sheer insufferability we got saddled with near the end. This was the single most crucial error in the process that led to the present situation.
Mhmm, mhmm.... let me keep reading...
Hmm! So that’s what they meant by fan input. The actual return of the command box, now that there are whole goddamn teams corralling it instead of a single person.
How much will Dirk’s belief in reader input persist over time, though?
> Dirk: Commune.
"NEEERD” heard echoing into the distance.
Seriously though, the visuals team has been top-notch so far.
Channelling my full potential as an ascended player of Heart, I expand my consciousness to commune with the boundless force of collective willpower that is the internet.
There’s a connection between Heart and willpower, there, but nothing much we haven’t already worked with before.
Will Dirk be able to find a command besides “Kill yourself” in the box?
> ==>
That... looks an awful lot like someone looking at a suggestion box chock full of “kill yourself”.
Is his suggestion box going to have lasted a total of a single page?? That seems quite likely all of a sudden.
> ==>
Mhmm.
> ==>
Um.
> Dirk: Stop making Homestuck.
Yeah, kowtowing to everyone’s will isn’t so easy, is it motherfucker?
But this was going to be a little fun we had together. A callback to simpler times. I just wanted to play a game, and you were going to be part of it. That submission box was my olive branch, dipped tentatively and at arms length into the trash furnace of creative potential known as 'Online'. But I should have known better. People think you can run a story like this? This must be just about the stupidest idea anyone has ever come up with. I'll just have to make up the commands myself from here on out. Seemed to work ok for the other guy.
Dirk may be a hypocrite, but he is a practical hypocrite.
> Dirk: Examine room.
How the hell did you get their entry items? Did you realchemize them?
Wha...? “Succulent flora”? Some sorta weed reference, John’s apple or... what?
Why the Cal outfit. Seriously.
Why the “SCR3W YOU -TZ” on the jetwings? Is Terezi mad you stole them but letting you keep them? (And I would expect a little acrimony between her and the rest of the crew. She more hopped on out of, like... the need of a career soldier to get back in the field than a need to fuck anything up for anyone else in particular.)
The ship itself is being BORROWED IN PERPETUITY and has served as our home for the past three years.
Just... screw three year journeys in general. You know?
Seriously, that means Jade has been in a black-eyed fugue state for THREE FUCKING MORE YEARS.
Fuck all of that. I know she’s immortal, but Fuck. All. Of. That.
Oh, and of COURSE the next command:
> Dirk: Contemplate equine iconography.
Pff. A precious gift from splinter-Dirk’s ex-flame Obama. I can live with that.
> Paint. Paper. Get to work.
This set of paints and the charred remains of my HORNED HEADBAND are the only surviving relics of the first and last WORLDWIDE INTERSPECIES ROLEPLAYING SESSION we ever attempted on Earth C.
That’s pretty awesome.
I’m really liking Homestuck again, guys.
> ==>
Of course there’s Dave with his dick-horns and you were a unicorn?????
It was the perfect trollsona. I was a highblood called... No, on second thoughts, let's not get into it. Some things are too painful to remember.
Yes, let’s please not.
> Inspect delicious houseplants.
Plants are basically the ideal friends. They don't constantly question your decisions, or try and undermine your authority, or suggest that perhaps you should try talking about your feelings every once in a while. Plants lie down in the dirt and take it, metaphorically speaking.
FUCK. YOU. DIRK.
What’s this, now? Did Terezi inject something into the narrative, or at least the command line? Is that something Dirk has a crack in his control over?
> ==>
Yep, Terezi has access to a Dirk command terminal. This can only be a good thing.
TEREZI: YOU SHOULD H4V3 S33N YOUR F4C3! TEREZI: 1T W4S 4S PL41N 4ND F34TUR3L3SS 4S 3V3R, JUST L1K3 TH3 CLOY1NG T4NG OF YOUR OV3RB34R1NG OR4NG34D3 PROS3
I have missed trolling, non-depressed Terezi SO badly.
SO badly.
She was the first character I learned to roleplay properly, I think I’ve mentioned on occasion? 1 C4N 3V3N ST1LL TOUCH TYP3 L1K3 TH1S.
TEREZI: 3XC3PT DONT 4CTU4LLY DO TH4T B3C4US3 1 DONT W4NT YOU TO SULLY TH3S3 D3L1C1OUS R3D SL1PP3RS W1TH YOUR SUDOR1F3ROUS N1NJ4 F33T
Of course she still has Jade’s sparkleshoes. (A Witch’s shoes, more or less! Possibly as a symbol of the proper balance she’s come to recognize between her role and its opposite.)
TEREZI: TH3R3S ONLY SO M4NY T1M3S 4 G1RL C4N SN1FF H3R W4Y THROUGH TH3 1N-FL1GHT S3L3CT1ON OF 34ST 34RTH 4N1M4T1ON B3FOR3 SH3 G3TS S1CK OF TH3 SM3LL DIRK: I'm sorry to hear that.
Pfhehehe.
DIRK: Although, in fairness, you came along of your own volition DIRK: It's not my fault the journey didn't live up to your expectations. TEREZI: TH4TS 4 L13 SO F1LTHY TH4T JUST SM3LL1NG 1T M4K3S M3 W4NT TO GO THROW UP 1NTO TH3 N34R3ST TO1L3T! TEREZI: 1 H4D V3RY L1TTL3 S4Y 1N TH3 M4TT3R TEREZI: W3 BOTH KNOW TH4T YOU M4N1PUL4T3D M3 1NTO 1T W1TH YOUR PR1NC3LY W1L3S DIRK: Princely wiles??
Hmm...!
This is going to be quite an ongoing theme, isn’t it? Characters not explicitly knowing whether or not Dirk “wrote” them doing or thinking something, or not. Debating it in retrospect, arguing WITH him about it, et cetera.
Rose has doubtlessly figured out the bit of manipulation Dirk used to separate her from Kanaya and vice-versa to go on this trip, but has acquiesced anyway out of a desire to do something important and fulfill her role.
...I hope. Seriously, she’d better not have been kept under a hundred percent Dirk control THIS WHOLE TIME.
TEREZI: 1M T4LK1NG 4BOUT YOUR G3N3S1S FROG S1Z3D 1N4B1L1TY TO SHUT UP, WH1CH S33MS TO H4V3 SOM3HOW R34CH3D 4 M4SS SO CR1T1C4L 1TS OP3N3D UP 4 WORMHOL3 1N TH3 F4BR1C OF R34L1TY 1TS3LF TEREZI: YOUV3 ST4RT3D DO1NG TH4T *TH1NG* 4G41N 4ND 1TS COMPL3T3LY 1NSUFF3R4BL3 DIRK: Oh, sorry. DIRK: I forget how easy it is for you to pick up on it.
Yep. A Seer of Mind able to see with startling clarity when and how a Narrator is trying to fuck with her or tell her what to think.
TEREZI: 1M4G1N3 TH4T 1M ST4ND1NG R1GHT N3XT TO YOU TEREZI: W1TH 4 M3G4PHON3 PR3SS3D SNUGLY UP 4G41NST YOUR 1NFUND1BUL4R 4UR4L PROTRUS1ON TEREZI: NOW 1M4G1N3 TH4T 1 PROC33D TO DRUB YOU S3NS3L3SS W1TH S41D M3G4PHON3, 4ND TH3N D1R3CT 4N 4POLOGY 4T YOUR SLUMP3D, TW1TCH1NG BODY THROUGH 1T TEREZI: TH4T 1S WH4T WH4T3V3R YOUR3 DO1NG F33LS L1K3 TEREZI: 1TS L3SS TH4T 1 C4N "P1CK UP ON 1T", 4ND MOR3 TH4T 1T 4SS4ULTS MY V3RY CONSC1OUSN3SS TEREZI: YOU H4V3 4LL TH3 SUBTL3TY OF 4 CULL1NG FORK TO TH3 THOR4C1C 3XOSK3L3T4L PL4T34U TEREZI: 4ND 1TS H4RDLY SURPR1S1NG TH4T 1 C4N H34R YOU SO CL34RLY
Mhmm. Quite a relief we have someone who can cut through it so easily, in such close proximity to him.
TEREZI: 1F 1T W4S B3C4US3 1M 4 S33R, TH3N HOW COM3 ROS3 DO3SNT KNOW 4BOUT 1T TOO? TEREZI: 1 M34N... M4YB3 SH3 DO3S??? BUT 1F SO SH3S SOM3HOW PUTT1NG ON TH3 B3ST 4CT 1V3 3V3R S33N
Fuck. I mean.
I knew Rose probably wouldn’t know moment-to-moment when Dirk is writing for her. But this means she COULD plausibly still be under more-or-less total control, coddled in delusions written specifically to keep her on his side. Which is fucking throw-up horrible.
TEREZI: NO, 1M PR3TTY SUR3 1TS B3C4US3 OF OUR 4SP3CTS DIRK: What, Heart and Mind? TEREZI: M1ND 4ND H34RT, Y3S TEREZI: TH3 TWO OF US 4R3 OPPOS1T3S, R1GHT? TEREZI: 4ND WH3N 1T COM3S TO TH3 4SP3CTS, OPPOS1NG P41RS 3FF3CT1V3LY D3F1N3 34CH OTH3R ON 4 FUND4M3NT4L L3V3L TEREZI: M1ND 4ND H34RT, T1M3 4ND SP4C3... TEREZI: TH3YR3 4LL TWO S1D3S OF TH3 S4M3 CO1N TEREZI: OR 1 GU3SS TEREZI: TW3LV3 S1D3S OF TH3 S4M3 S1X CO1NS?
This is what people were saying I was proven right about right? Aspect Duality?
I mean... it’s not like this is a big step out of the Homestuck team’s way. This wasn’t one of those still-under-debate theories, this was one that’d been made as explicitly true as it could possibly could have been by the story without outright saying it, is all. This was just... inching the story’s feet a millimeter more to go over that line.
I guess it’ll shut up all those people who tried to argue with me way back when that Mind and Heart were somehow not the right opposites. I mean, jegus.
TEREZI: SOOOOOOOOO... TEREZI: YOU JUST W4NT M3 TO, L1K3 TEREZI: DOM YOU W1TH TH1S COMM4ND ST4T1ON FOR 4 WH1L3?? DIRK: If you wanted to phrase it in a way most calculated to awaken the hair-trigger psychoanalytical instincts of my slime daughter, then yes, I suppose you could say that.
Glad to see we’re carrying on with the Epilogues’ adult mindset as expected. (I mean, Homestuck was always adult, but... you know what I mean.)
DIRK: You're a strange and funny girl, Terezi,
Please stop quoting your part-of-Doc-Scratch splinter.
DIRK: Consider this little sum of executive power over my actions a planet-warming gift. Spend it wisely.
Please stop quoting your part-of-Doc-Scratch splinter.
Oh my gosh, yes. Please keep trolling the fuck out of Dirk, Terezi.
> ==>
Where are we going with this? Maybe a nibbled leaf?
> ==>
Yup. (And Terezi’s taking a lil’ Papyrus-y spin on her usual laugh.)
> WH4TS TH4T L1TTL3 T4BL3 N3XT TO YOU?
Pff. Dirk’s talking in ALL CAPS FOR KEY WORDS narrative-speak in regular conversation now.
And yeah, your respect for others’ property rights kind of goes out the window once you decide to start trampling over the will of all of the multiverse, doesn’t it.
> L1B3R4T3 L4LOND14N L1BR4RY
TEREZI: NO, 1 M34NT TH3 M3M3S TEREZI: "R3M3MB3R LONGC4T J4N3?" TEREZI: COMPL3T3LY 1NCOMPR3H3NS1BL3
We feel your pain, Terezi.
> ==>
DIRK: (I captchalogue the book into my MSPA MODUS. Forget HASH MAPS, PICTIONARY, or any of that shit. This thing is where it's at.)
Huh. I’m not sure I’d trust a modus with that name to do exactly what one expects it to do, sir.
Pff... sprite jokes.
> SCR34M L1K3 4 W1GGL3R 4ND T1DY YOUR D3SK
Terezi’s not used to “writing” Homestuck either. Or, is maybe too used to the way it’s normally written.
TEREZI: FOR SOM3ON3 WHO CL41MS TO KNOW 4 LOT 4BOUT JOK3S YOU SUR3 H4V3 CONT1NU3D TO S4Y B4S1C4LLY NOTH1NG FUNNY 3V3R
Yes. More insults to the Dirk plz.
> ==>
Christ, he already has a picture on his desk of the thing he’s about to-- guh.
He’s not gonna stop showing off like this, is he? Not a narrator prone to avoid flaunting his power, this one.
> ==>
Nice throwback, but is this your proof you have a sense of humor, Dirk?
Or just missing lost love?
> ==>
Made good progress? Towards what?
> ==>
Pfff.
DIRK: Smell this Terezi? DIRK: This is a panel. TEREZI: OK4Y
So a bit less showing-off, and a bit more acknowledging the hard art work that needs to be put in to make all this Hapen.
Alright, more meta-discussion about the mixed medium and finding the best way to tell this story, sure.
> ==>
Hoo boy, this page seems dense. I’ll split the post here and keep going in a fresh one.
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holy ground - t.h.
A/N: Inspired by Holy Ground by Taylor Swift (which she just performed live at the BBC Live Lounge beautifully). Feedback always appreciated! Xx
Word Count: 2.1k ohhhh yeah baby
Warnings: Angsty (possibility of continuation w fluff)
I was reminiscing just the other day
While having coffee all alone and Lord, it took me away
Back to a first-glance feeling on New York Time
Back when you fit in my poems like a perfect rhyme
Coffee before work was a morning ritual. It was a form of meditation, outside of the apartment. Your call times were all over the place, so it could be any time of the morning. Sometimes it was 5 am, sometimes noon. Either way, before work coffee was a must. The job was tiring. Running around, getting people to their places, occasionally helping the gaffer with lights because that used to be your focus in college. Your feet would ache and your back felt close to breaking every time you collapsed into bed at the end of the work day...whenever that would be.
This morning was different, because it was premiere day. You’d see him again for the first time in awhile. The press tour started months ago, so you both had a reason not to speak. The project was over, and he jumped into the plane and flew across the world. And you stayed home, continuing onto your next project, working away your life as usual. New actors, stunt doubles. A new director, a new boss. Both of your lives were fast paced in different ways, but they were fast nonetheless. You had that excuse at least.
You couldn’t use “destiny” or “fate” because that was only in the movies you helped produce. That only happened in fake rain and scripted conversations. The declaration of love, the crazy drive to the airport, the showing up on the doorstep at 3 in the morning. No, yours was a slow burn. Inside jokes and special treatment and flirting for months. It was the long game - the kind where nobody wins.
Took off faster than a green light "Go"
Yeah, you skipped the conversation when you already know
I left a note on the door with a joke we'd made
And that was the first day
You had been in charge of him as head AD. You kept everyone in the loop, made sure everyone was on time, yelled at those not doing their jobs right and feeling bad after. And as head AD you were in charge of the lead actor. He was as sweet as the media portrayed him to be, no secret personality. No douchebag came out behind closed doors. He was himself constantly. You were envious of it. You would call your job “professional people pleaser” and he would laugh and tell you all it took was a change of perspective. He made you enjoy the work better. He made you remember why you started in the first place.
So that’s how it started. One day you came to knock on his trailer and he was gone. You left a note on his trailer door
“Come to set now, you’re late!!”
Too harsh? Sarcastic anger was hard to detect through a post-it note. So you scribbled another line.
“Xx- the professional people pleaser”
You found out he was late because he was buying you coffee.
And darling, it was good never looking down
And right there where we stood was holy ground
So then began the whirlwind. It took three months of pre-production and shooting and meetings and late nights. But he finally asked you out. You had another two months left on the studio backlot back in LA, so you would have some time together before he was off to a different country, a different movie. You guys would hang out with the other cast members, go to the movies at midnight when no fans would swarm, go out to dinner and bars in town. But the cast started to get busy (and suspicious). So they would slowly start to cancel, until it was just you two and you’d be off adventuring on your own. Until one night, while getting ice cream and walking downtown he sprung it on you.
“Want to go out tomorrow?”
“To the bars?”
“No, like...go out. With me.”
You stopped in the middle of the sidewalk. Your ears were red from the chill, wearing his jacket. And he had never seen you look prettier.
“Like...o-on a date?” you smiled nervously.
He coughs to cover up the nerves. “Y-yeah. Unless you don’t want to I understa-”
“No, no! I would love to.” The relief on his face and in his body language was noticeable. But endearing.
You would still smile every time you walked along that sidewalk on the way to work. Sometimes with his hand in yours, even when your call time was two hours earlier. He didn’t like sleeping in the hotel bed if it was just him. You didn’t have to use your company provided hotel room anymore after the third date.
Spinning like a girl in a brand new dress
We had this big wide city all to ourselves
We blocked the noise with the sound of 'I need you'
And for the first time I had something to lose
LA always had something new to do. You showed him all your favorite spots, and he would describe the British equivalent. Chick fil A had nothing on Nando’s, but Caffè Nero had nothing on Peet’s. You took him to a Dodger game, Aladdin at the Pantages, showed him the most discreet path at Runyon Canyon. You showed him your favorite little shack on PCH that had the greatest burgers and where you would study in college when you wanted to leave campus. You were inseparable.
You were starting to show him parts of you that you didn’t give a second thought, but he could tell they completed you. And that meant the world to him.
You fell for each other quickly, smoothly - like the red wine you would pour every night before your one day off each week. He was a quick learner, so he knew by the second time you drank together that red wine made you sleep in. So he restricted it to the evenings before those days.
You always swooned over the concept of “ways to say I love you” without saying it explicitly, not realizing you were doing it yourself. You liked to call him anything but his name in public so that people wouldn’t recognize him as quickly. He appreciated it, not only because you were trying to help him maintain inconspicuous but also because he loved the nicknames you picked out.
“Here’s your coffee, love” or
“Sleepy, bub? You can take a nap at my place during the break.” or
“Hey lovey, what do you want for dinner?”
You were an anxious person. Work was high stress, and you were really hard on yourself. You had high expectations for everyone, including yourself. You had a hard time relaxing, and he did his best to help ease that trouble. For such a high-stress career, he was surprisingly skilled at remaining calm. So one night, you guys argue about it. It’s nothing huge, but everything seems big to you. He gets so worked up deciding to leave before he says anything too harsh, and takes a walk around your apartment block. When you call him crying and you can’t get words out, he’s at your door in two minutes. He knocks on it urgently and you answer in seconds. His eyes soften at the sight of you, wrapped in his sweater and a blanket with the puffiest (prettiest) eyes. Your voice comes out small and raspy - “Please don’t go. I need you.”
He doesn’t even miss a beat before saying “I love you.” He wipes the remaining tear off your cheek while you gaze up at him, and say it back.
And I guess we fell apart in the usual way
And the story's got dust on every page
But sometimes I wonder how you think about it now
And I see your face in every crowd
You were unsure of how to go about this kind of thing. It was your first experience in a relationship that serious, and with a movie star no less. The arguments became more frequent, the adventures less common. You made less time for each other, and didn’t spend much time together on set. Even when you had to work together, you guys weren’t really together.
Your doubts got the best of you. As shooting came to a close, you were debating how he would want to keep you, what could possibly be so special about you that was worth maintaining a long distance relationship in an already complicated life. He saw it as your excuse for a way out. So in turn, both of you disguised your feelings behind ‘if that’s what you want’ and short responses. And you would each trudge home to your respective beds and cry until the clock read 4. Everything was falling apart, and by the time the flight out for the press tour came around, you had been done for a week and didn’t say goodbye. That hurt the most.
You kept up with everything, of course, Social media was a double-edged sword, keeping you at bay knowing he wasn’t seeing anyone else (publicly) but also knowing where he was, the fun he was having, how the cast was continuing to live without you. It was overwhelming most of the time.
Meanwhile, you were radio silence. No posts, no words through the grapevine, no discussion of your life with producers that knew both of you. You tried your best to keep it that way. You both had very different forms of coping. He wanted to force himself to seem okay, and you locked yourself away for months in order to heal privately. Isn’t that how it goes? One heals alone so when they are finally back in view the other realizes what they lost?
And that is how you ended up here, at Sunset and Holloway drinking your regular dirty chai, writing a to do list and journaling a bit - about him. About how in a few hours you would both have to be on the red carpet, smiling, pretending to not feel like your body was on fire by the mere presence of him. You may be paired for an interview, or two, or twenty. You would have to go to the after party and probably get drunk to survive it.
You aren’t ready for what’s to come.
Later in the evening, you finally put on your outfit, do your makeup, and meet the driver outside. No amount of lip gloss could hide your nervous habit of biting your lip. No eyeshadow could deflect the attention from the bags under your eyes from barely sleeping the month, the week, the night before. You’re still weak.
The lights are flashing, the black clothing clad PA’s are ushering people around. The interviewers are at the ready, and you breathe in and out. Over and over.
You approach the first interviewer, discussing the movie and eventually the cast. They ask what it’s like to work with him. What his favorite scene is. What your favorite scene is. Him. Him. Him.
Speaking of, where is he?
The entire night goes by with no sign of him. You hear his name in passing, always constantly behind you. You can never catch a glimpse because you’re being ushered to the next task. Interview here, pictures here. Everyone is always needing something. How does he live like this? Maybe this was why you guys weren’t meant for each other. He could handle this. You couldn’t.
He could handle you, and you couldn’t.
Tonight I'm gonna dance for all that we've been through
But I don't wanna dance if I'm not dancing with you
The after party finally arrives, and the open bar is calling your name. Vodka and red bull, wine, beer. All of your friends. You’re ready to forget for the rest of the night, letting the weight of life float away for awhile before it takes its usual spot on the center of your shoulders.
Ordering a drink from the tall, dark, and handsome bartender - you swig it down as quick as possible without being trashy. You hear him clear his throat behind you, trying to get your attention. He uses that godforsaken nickname. You had three for him, but he only had one for you.
“Hi, darlin’.” Fucking accent.
The sound of your voice reminds you of that night of the first night that became the first time you said you loved each other. Soft and raspy and broken down. You can only manage one word.
“Tom.”
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Forming Your Own Opinions.
First off - major trigger warning for rape, manipulation and abuse. Second off - this is an adult conversation, between adults and only adults. I don’t want any arguments just informed debate. If you don’t know the situation then don’t speak. If you don’t like my opinion, agree to disagree, unfollow or block and move on. Everyone has the right to express their thoughts, all arguing will result in being blocked. Third off - I know this is old and no one wants to hear about it anymore but I just formed an opinion on it which I want to talk about. Sorry if hearing about it bothers you.
For the longest time and still even so now I have had the mentality: go with the popular opinion or just be quiet and you will be liked. Which is very toxic. I am obsessed with being liked, being plastic and letting others control my thoughts. I’m trying to get away from that though and this is my first step. Stating a controversial opinion. A big one. Very big. It’s hard for me, the whole thing has thrown me into a few severe anxiety attacks but I have to do this to get better or I never will. I’m super nervous and I’m ready to be hated or as ready as I possibly can be whilst simultaneously freaking out. So what’s my opinion? That Melanie Martinez is innocent. Just hear me out. Here’s why I think she’s innocent:
I was a big Melanie fan at the time of the rape accusations. At first when I heard it I thought “wow this is terrible, she’s a rapist” and cancelled her. It was really hard but I knew it was the best thing to do. After all it’s better to side with a potential victim than a potential rapist, right? I also knew nothing about the backstory so I had nothing to work off of but the word of someone I didn’t know existed and the statement “she never said no to what we chose to do together.” I as many thought that was a dumb excuse, just because someone doesn’t say no doesn’t mean it means yes. But like I said, I had no backstory so I moved on and unfanned Melanie, as hard as it was for me. Randomly I thought of it again, in the past week, and wondered if there was anything else about it. Looked it up and well... there’s a ton. I want to make a disclaimer that when looking at all the evidence, I took into consideration both sides. I was completely unbiased in this despite my past love of Melanie. Rape is a serious issue and should be treated like that not just excused because you like the person who is accused of it. Though with what I was learning, Timothy’s story seemed fishy with some holes. So I did more digging. First let’s get the story clear of what supposedly happened:
And that’s it basically. That’s the story, coming straight from her Twitter. Pretty horrifying, manipulating and wrong. Makes you feel bad for Timothy. But it doesn’t end there. After she released that statement Melanie released her own:
Many people thought it was her admitting to it and claiming it wasn’t rape because she let it happen. Which had us thinking she was guilty as sin. Until Timothy started releasing more information. Apparently that same day they went to a thrift shop and picked up a game that included a blindfold, handcuffs, and a dice that said things like “lick leg.” Which she never mentioned at all before. Originally Timothy said that Melanie bought it but then later said she herself did. Which is odd since she stated she has been abused before and sexual stuff made her uncomfortable. But whatever she said she thought it would be funny. Now here’s where it gets weird, she never mentioned the game before, right?Maybe she forgot? Sure that’s reasonable. They played the game on June 25th 2015 according to Timothy in an interview:
At Melanie’s house. Melanie’s house is in LA. This is important because with further information, she was in New York performing on stage that day. She even made an Instagram post about it:
And fans have pictures of her on stage. You notice how her hair is blonde and black in this pic? Well to support her cause Timothy posted a picture of Melanie the night it happened:
Her hair is a different color. And on her phone it shows up as May 6th, 2015. She claims it’s because her iCloud is messed up and that pictures of her recently showed up at being in 2011:
I went to Melanie’s Instagram to see her hair color May 6th, 2015 and just look:
On May 2nd her hair was that color in the picture. It’s actually really easy to change dates on your iCloud too. That’s... odd. But there’s even more, I believe she said they stopped being freinds after that but I know she said they stopped being friends in 2016, yet in 2017 she said this:
Okay. Change it once, maybe you forgot but if she changed it twice and still got it wrong? Suspicious. She actually has changed a lot of the story, multiple times. She said originally she didn’t want to go to the cops because she was afraid they wouldn’t believe her then said on her Instagram Live that yeah it’s bad but not murder so she doesn’t deserve to go to jail. So which is true? I mean it doesn’t matter her reason, it’s her decision but why is the reason changing? In Timothy’s original statement she mentioned some of Melanie’s fans became her fans but their loyalty never strayed from Melanie. That’s... irrelevant. But is it actually? Melanie was supposed to release a new album one month later. Which didn’t end up happening and when you went to Timothy’s Twitter at the time she had a pinned tweet for her song. Kinda weird but okay, it was probably there before. But why mention the loyalty of her fans never straying from her? Like I said, it’s irrelevant to the topic but not to her potential motives. They started their careers at the same time and Melanie was more popular too. And apparently started focusing on her music more than her friends so both of these might be the reason why. Seems reasonable. Now of course I wanted to check the stuff on Melanie’s side too but all I found was the original statement and this one:
Which in my opinion does clear up the “she never said no” thing. I think what she was trying to say is, Timothy didn’t say no multiple times like she said she did and that Melanie would never have sex with someone without their complete confirmation. Maybe even she meant she didn’t say no to the game they played. Though it could mean: “She never said no, I didn’t act on when she did say no but pressured her to give in.” And what Melanie says in this statement: “I trusted so many people in my life who took advantage of that trust for their own personal gain” supports the fact Timothy did it for fame. She also mentioned that in her song she released on Spotify called Piggyback that goes:
Trusted too many people while I was still young
Gave them the benefit of the doubt, I was so wrong
I cut them off and they came for blood cause they know
They ain’t getting no more
I’m so done playing piggyback
Swear to god I wished y’all all the best
You’re lying your way to try to gain a piece of me
When you could never come close cause I know my destiny
I worked hard for my shit
Put my love in this shit
Now you’re trying to kill my name for some fame
What is this?
Tried to help you do your shit
Encouraged you to work on it
Was a good friend and you used that to your advantage
Timothy did mention when Melanie blew up that she didn’t have time anymore for her and that she wanted to focus on her fans and music. So it does make sense that she did this for attention, to hurt Melanie. Even so the way Melanie worded her statement originally, doesn’t help her cause. Just made her look worse. The second statement however does clear it up in my opinion. With all the evidence and what Melanie said, it’s 1 point she’s guilty to multiple that she’s innocent. Even if you don’t like her you can’t deny that. There may be more points towards her being guilty as well, I’m not sure but this is all I could find, though there is just too many points towards her being innocent. In reality though none of this is fact, it’s just evidence and even evidence can be fake or twisted sometimes. Here’s a few more things about Timothy though and this story:
She says she doesn’t want to talk about it anymore but yet is willing to keep bringing it up. She dressed up as Melanie in 2016, a year after the rape, why would you put yourself through so much pain and do that? Idk just seems like it would hurt you more but she did love her so maybe that’s why: she was trying to deny the truth because of how much she loved her. She also suffers from BPD (Boarderline Personality Disorder) which I hate to bring up, just because she has a mental illness doesn’t mean she would do something fucked up. Just because anyone has a mental illness doesn’t mean it’s the reason for everything. Mental illness doesn’t equal bad morals but it can lead you to do bad things. Trust me I know, I have depression, anxiety and OCD. My OCD causes me to try to avoid particular things which I don’t always do in a nice way. I hurt people because I don’t want to deal with something related to it. This could be the same situation. The symptoms of BPD do explain why she would do this to hurt Melanie. For example some of the symptoms for BPD are pervasive instability in moods, distaste of one’s self image, insecurity and problems with interpersonal relationships. It seems logical with that info why she would do it if she is lying. Not to mention Timothy has claimed abuse on past bandmates of her old band Dresses where she only stayed cause they needed her voice. She has the history to make claims, I have no idea if it’s true though. She also allegedly molested a 16 year old girl. Also unsure if that’s true but if she did that she might have based the story on what she did since the story is quite similar. Regardless, here’s my complete opinion on the matter:
Timothy made it up for attention because she was jealous Melanie was focusing on her music not her and that she wasn’t as popular, probably a lot being because of her BPD. She knew a story like this would get attention and people would believe with the rising amount of sexual assault victims coming forward. So she posted it and then remembered she knew she had that picture of the game so she started basing it around that, picking a random date and saying it happened at Melanie’s house cause they are in her house in the pic, not knowing what Melanie actually did that day. However though she forgot the picture was dated and tried to blow it off as her iCloud being messed up which she supported by changing the date on recent pictures to awhile ago. And also she can’t remember parts of her story so she makes up new stuff and changes stuff a lot. Then she goes on to social media shading her and posting things about how hard it is to get empathy. Stuff like the picture on her IG story which is her crying (it just looks like she put in eyedrops to me) I would post but I hit the picture limit. She even contacted her friends to get in on it to make it look legit. She hasn’t gone to the cops because she knows they will find it bs and she’ll be revealed as lying. Most juries which are meant to be unbiased would side with Melanie because of the evidence so if it is false that explains why she hasn’t gone to the cops. And if it is real, honey if you don’t remember a part just say you don’t remember, it’s not helping your cause.
But that’s just my opinion, everyone has their own. There is probably even more to this that I don’t know but I shared everything I do. Though regardless let’s remember no side has concrete proof. To me everyone is innocent until proven guilty. You can’t really call her a good or a bad person and say it’s fact because you don’t know the truth. You can however support her by forming an opinion based on your own view of the situation. That doesn’t make you a bad person or someone who is defending rape. And to everyone who believes it: don’t get on the people who think it’s bullshit. You can’t deny there is a lot of holes in the story. And it doesn’t make you look better or woke nor is it siding with a potential rapist, it’s siding with evidence and your opinion. Evidence is better to side with than a potential victim just because they are a potential victim. Some people make stuff up. Even horrible things like that. Also don’t side with Melanie just because you like her, actually do some research and use your brain not your heart. It makes you a horrible person to just support her because “she’s my idol and a true fan would support her even if she’s a rapist!!!” That’s so fucked up. It truly makes me sick to hear delusional stans saying that. People like you are making the situation worse and contributing to rape culture. Delusional stans are also saying if you didn’t believe Melanie from the beginning on this situation you’re not a real fan. Which is not true at all. We are real fans, we just wanted to not instantly believe she didn’t do it because we like her. We wanted to figure out how we see the situation by looking at the evidence before jumping to conclusions. That makes us logical. On a similar note us questioning the situation and trying to find more information on it to form an opinion is also being logical. Not invalidating a potential rape victim. But rather doing the right thing and giving both parties the right to a fair trial. And if any of you are going to say: “why hasn’t Melanie done more about it then?” Would you want to talk about something like this? Something that damaged your career immensely? No, you wouldn’t. If it’s real, I’m sorry Timothy that this happened to you and Melanie deserves consequences. But if it is false, I’m sorry you have to deal with this Melanie and Timothy deserves consequences. Form your own opinion and please be respectful. I’m going to go back to supporting Melanie because I genuinely believe that she didn’t do it. That’s my decision, make your own. And don’t get on Melanie or Timothy, no cyber bullying them. Like I said you don’t know the truth nor do I, only they do. Even if you did being mean gets you nowhere. Now let’s just let this go and move forward from it.
#melanie martinez#timothy heller#i want to say as well i told both my mom and bf about this#i told the whole story and they both think something is up with timothy’s story#they don’t care nor really know about either of them#so their opinion is as unbiased as it can get#and they both think she’s lying#take that as you will#also i want to say i feel so free posting this#like i cut those chains holding me down to perfection#holding me back#not letting me be me#i’m so proud of myself for doing this#it’s a big step towards getting better
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