#I cried for about five minutes and it got me in the Barry feels

[angst-is-love-angst-is-life]

Technically this takes place in Trophy but it’s pretty much just a Barry-angst-fest and can therefore work out of context as a standalone

[cameronspecial]

A New Kind Of Normal (Part 3)

Pairing: Dad!Rafe Cameron x Reader

Warnings: Fight With A Parent, Swearing, and Fear of Relapse

Pronouns: She/Her

Word Count: 3.0K

Summary: Rafe has accomplished his goals and is now able to meet his daughter for the first time.

Masterlist

Over the past month, Rafe has gotten a chance to learn more about Stella from his weekly meetings with Y/N. Stella was born on May 17th, 2020 at 10:59 A.M. Her first word was Joshy, said at eleven months old when she was calling for help from her uncle Josh when her uncle Benedict would mercilessly tickle her. At two years old, she became obsessed with witches after her mother read her a book about them and it has been her favourite topic of conversation since. Her favourite colour is dark purple and her favourite food is any soup in general because she likes to pretend she is drinking a witch's potion when she eats it. The most important fact of all to Rafe: Stella Rachel Y/L/N is his little girl’s full name. Y/N had tried her best to come up with a name close to Rafe, but all the names closer she found on the internet didn’t go with Stella. Nonetheless, the action still touched him when Y/N told him that was the reason.

And now, he’ll finally get to meet his little star. His hand fidgets with the small nob on his watch, making the hands go clockwise and counterclockwise. He watches as Y/N reads over his toxicology report. She didn’t require him to do a weekly toxicology report to prove that he was staying sober, but he wanted to show her she could trust him. The logical part of him knows she won’t say that he can’t meet Stella, yet a small part of him fears she might. 

The small smile she gives him relieves him of his anxiety, “This is great, Button. I’m so proud of the work you put into staying sober.” Forming a friendship with Y/N was another amazing thing that happened this month. When she started using the nickname she gave him the night Stella was conceived, he felt the air leave his lungs just like it does now. “Thanks. I was really scared that I might relapse this week after I got into an argument with my dad, but I called Diana, did some breathing exercises and looked at my picture of Stella. It all helped me get through it,” he replies truthfully. He had truly felt fear that week when he found himself on the road towards Barry’s trailer. Luckily, he was able to fight through his desire and pull over the car before he got there. Y/N nods and reaches out to place a reassuring hand on his, “Well, I’m glad you were able to recognize your craving and reach out for help with managing it. So do you want to come over after we finish our coffee?” 

His lips stretch so far apart that people would think he is the Joker. He pulls out his phone to check his schedule, “No, I won’t have enough time to go home and change if I come tonight. I also need to get her a few things before I meet her. How about tomorrow afternoon? Is that okay?” “You know you don’t have to make a big deal about this with the changing and the gifts. As long as you love her and show her that love, she is going to reciprocate those feelings,” Y/N argues. 

“I know, I just… Meeting her is all I have been dreaming about for the last month and I want it to be perfect. Plus, it really couldn’t hurt to get her a few bribery toys.”

“I understand how you feel. When Benny came home the week before Stella was born with the wrong colour paint for her room, I almost threw a chair at him. I wanted Finch yellow, but he got funky yellow. It didn’t matter that they were virtually the same colour. I just need her room to be exactly how I planned it. So you can come over tomorrow. Just don’t buy her too many toys.” 

“I can’t be held to a gift-buying limit. I have to make up for five years.”

——

Y/N watches as Stella tries to get ready by herself, thinking about what is going to happen in just ten minutes. “Mommy, help, please,” Stella cries out for help. Y/N’s focus returns to her daughter and she has to stop herself from laughing. Stella has gotten her shirt stuck on her head because she has been trying to get her head through the armhole. Y/N approaches the young girl and helps put her head through the right hole. “You were almost there, Stells. I’m proud of you,” she praises, giving the little girl a kiss on the head. Stella shouts a thank you as she runs into her mom’s room. 

Y/N follows her daughter to her room and carries Stella over to the bed. Once Stella is safely on the bed, Y/N turns toward her dresser to get her perfume. “One tiny spray for this wrist,” Y/N pushes the top of the perfume so the scent falls on her daughter’s wrist. “And one tiny spray for the other. Now, you are ready to go. Why don’t you wait in the living room for Mommy’s special guest to arrive.” The little girl runs off as her mother suggested and Y/N is left alone in her room. She looks at herself in her mirror, wondering how her life is going to change once Stella meets her dad. It’s not that Y/N doesn’t trust Rafe, he has shown her that he really is trying. It’s that Stella isn’t going to be solely Y/N’s anymore. She will have to share some parenting duties with Rafe and it feels strange for her to do that. She is the one who stayed up with Stella when she was puking all night last year. She is the one who would read the little girl a bedtime story every day. She is the one Stella goes to when she is scared. Now, Y/N is going to have to learn to let Rafe do those things too. 

Rafe nervously wipes the sweat off of his palm and adjusts the hat on his head. The time on the clock shows he is five minutes early, but he can’t wait any longer. He knocks on the door and rocks on the balls of his feet. The door creaks open, yet Rafe is met with an empty doorway. It is only when he looks down that he sees the perfect little star staring up at him with her brilliant blue eyes. “Stella Rachel Y/L/N, what have I told you about answering the door to strangers?” Y/N scolds, walking into the room with an adorable motherly look. Stella looks back at her mother with a pouty look, “I’m sorry, Mommy. But I knows we were going to have a special guest.”

Rafe is in awe at how adorable she is, but he takes this as his chance to do the first fatherly act he will ever do. “Your mother is right, Stella. What if I was a stranger?” he poses, kneeling down to her level. She gives him wide eyes, “But you weren’t. You are the man who Mommy yelled at.” Her words cause pain to shoot through his heart. The first memory his little girl has of him is his argument with her mother. Y/N can see the hurt that crosses Rafe’s face and beckons the pair away from the doorway. “Yes, he is, Baby. But he apologized to Mommy and we are friends again. Did you see his hat?” Y/N points out. The small blue eyes move from his face up to his head and her eyes turn to delight. “You’re wearing a witch’s hat!” she exclaims, reaching up to her father’s head to try it on. “Can I try it on, please?” Glad that his conversation start is working, he takes the hat off and places it on her tiny head. Everyone giggles as the big hat falls over her eyes. 

Now, that the ice has been sufficiently broken, Y/N decides it is time to make the introduction Rafe has been waiting for. “Stella, do you know why I asked my special friend to come visit?” Y/N sits on the couch, bringing Stella on her lap. The little girl shakes her head and rests it on her mother’s chest. “He’s your Daddy, Baby.” The excitement in his daughter’s eyes as she turns toward him sends him over the moon. The tiny girl flings herself into her arms and screams his new name. He never thought someone would call him those words, but now it’s the only one he wants to hear. “Does that mean you can play witch with me? I have a hat you can borrow.” With her now in his arms, he can smell the familiar vanilla fragrance of Y/N’s perfume. It makes him smile that she wants to be just like her mommy. Before he can answer, she runs off to her room to get her toys. She returns dragging a big plastic cauldron behind her. Rafe feels his father's instinct kick in. He jumps off of the couch and runs over to pick her and the cauldron up in his arms. Stella looks at him in awe, “Wow, my Daddy is super strong.” This absolutely kills him and he kisses her on the cheek. 

——

Y/N, Stella and Rafe have spent the afternoon playing various games their daughter wanted to play. When it got closer to dinner time, the three of them worked together to make something to eat. “Button, can you please pour me some more water?” Y/N asks, holding up her glass for him to do it. He picks up the water pitcher and pours it for her, “Of course, Buttercup.” Stella may be three and eleven months old, but she is very observant. Throughout the afternoon, she noticed the tiny glances Rafe would send Y/N’s way. She noticed how his hand would reach to find her skin, yet it never seemed to land. She noticed how he would always ask for Y/N’s approval. And just now, she saw how his lips formed a massive smile because of her mother’s attention. 

The small girl starts to form a plan in her head; she can see how much her father is pining for her mother. He clearly needs her help. “Mommy, I like Daddy’s hair. Do you?” she questions, looking back and forward between her parents. Y/N looks up from her food to look at Rafe, “I do like his hair. It looks nice when the front of his hair falls down like a little curtain.” He stops mid-stab of the pasta to look up at her through his lashes. “I’ll take note of that then, Buttercup,” he brings his hand up to hide the blush on his cheeks. Stella is very satisfied with the results of the beginning of her plan. She feels like a genius. Y/N doesn’t know that she is going to regret letting Stella watch Hallmark movies with her. 

——

After dinner, Rafe is preparing for the roughly hour-and-a-half drive back to the Outer Banks. Stella is holding on to Rafe for dear life because she isn’t ready for him to go. “Mommy, why can’t Daddy stay?” she begs, looking at her mother sadly. Y/N frowns at her daughter, “I’m sorry, Baby. Not yet, there is nowhere for him to sleep. Plus, Daddy has work tomorrow and you have daycare.” Rafe can see the struggle Y/N is having with saying no to Stella and he helps her out. “How about I go over to the diner on Friday? I’ll be there when you get back from daycare. Maybe I’ll even have a surprise,” he offers, whispering the last part in her ear. 

The darling’s eyes light up like a Christmas tree and loosens her arms from his neck. “Okay! I can’t wait to see you. Bye, Daddy. I love you,” she bids adieu. She hops down from his arms and runs to get ready for bed. The quicker she goes to bed, the faster Friday comes. Rafe calls back I love you. The two adults laugh at the child as they watch her run off. The laughter dies down and Y/N turns her body toward Rafe. “It’s okay that I come by on Friday, right?” Rafe confirms with a hopeful smile. 

“Of course, as long as you are sober, I won’t stop you from seeing her. The extra business is good too.” 

“Haha, I’ll make sure to deposit my paycheck before I go in then. Also, please let me know if you need anything. Money for food, rent, toys, clothes, tuition. Anything, okay. I want to pull my weight. She’s my daughter too.”

“I will, I promise. Thank you for coming over tonight. You made her day.”

They both look at each other for a second and then notice the time. “I should probably get going. It’s getting late,” Rafe concludes, taking a step closer to the door. Y/N tries to hide her slight disappointment, “Uh, yeah. Drive safe. See you on Friday.” Rafe nods his head and opens the door. “See you on Friday.” Y/N stays by the door as she watches Rafe walk down her driveway. She waves goodbye to him as he gets into his car and drives away. Once he is out of sight, she closes the door and reflects on the day. It was strange to have Rafe there, but she doesn’t regret the decision. She saw how much he cared for Stella and it solidified the idea in her mind that he is meant to be a father. This is a new kind of normal that she can get used to. 

——

Since Sarah and Rafe moved out of Tannyhill, Ward insisted on having family dinner every week. Everyone knows Sarah’s departure is the main reason why Ward wanted to do so, especially since Ward tried to have just Sarah come to dinner. However, thanks to Sarah, Ward gave in to inviting Rafe. Most dinners start with Ward getting small talk with Rafe about work out of the way before he moves on with asking Sarah about a full second-by-second breakdown of her week. And this Wednesday is not any different, but Rafe has something else other than work to talk to his dad about. 

“Actually, Dad, there is something I want to talk to you about,” Rafe brings to the table, looking Ward dead in his eyes. Ward stops chewing, not really expecting Rafe to have anything else to say. Ward tilts the end of his fork toward Rafe, “Okay, what is it?” “I have a daughter. Her name is Stella. She is three years old, almost four. And she looks exactly like me,” Rafe gets everything out in one go. He may have known about Stella for a month now, but he didn’t want to tell his family until he knew he could step up and be the person his daughter needed. This causes everyone at the table to freeze and look at Rafe in surprise. Ward’s eyes narrow; his brows become one. “What do you mean?” he gets out in a rough tone. 

“I mean that five years ago, I had sex with Y/N and she had a baby nine months after that. I didn’t know about Stella until last month. I didn’t want to tell you guys until I was a month sober and certain that I could be there for her.”

“You better tell me that this is a joke because I can’t believe that you could be that much of a screw-up. How do you even know she is your daughter?”

“I told you, she looks exactly like me.”

“How do you know that’s not because you want to believe she does? How do you know that bitch isn’t lying to you? You were so useless that you didn’t even get a paternity.” 

Rafe stands up at what Ward calls Y/N and points a finger at his father. “You have no right to call her that. I know she isn’t lying because I trust her. I won’t make her get a paternity test,” he yells. Ward lets out a low chuckle, “Okay, fine. Do whatever you want. But I’m going to need you to get a lawyer and write up a contract for child support if that’s what the bitch is after. There is no way you are actually going to raise that kid.” “You need to stop calling the mother of your granddaughter a bitch. And why can’t I raise my daughter? You are always telling me I need to take responsibility and I am. Why can’t you just be proud of me?” he argues, his anger getting to a whole other level. The other members of the dinner see that this fight is not about to end any time soon, so Sarah steps in. “Dad, stop. This isn’t going anywhere. And you should be proud of Rafe. He overcame his addiction just so that he could be a better father. That’s amazing and I’m proud of him for that. I, for one, am excited to meet my niece,” Sarah reasons. Wheezie butts in too, “I want to meet Stella too.” Rafe gives them a thankful smile but gets up angrily.  

“Thank you guys for your support. I’ll talk to Y/N to find out when you can meet Stells. Dad, I wish I could say that I am surprised but I’m not,” he begins. “No matter what I do, I will never compare to Sarah and I won’t force you to meet your granddaughter. I think I’m going to go. Goodbye.” Rafe storms out of the house and slams the door. He gets to his truck and is about to drive away, yet he knows he shouldn’t. If he goes now, he is scared it will lead him to Barry’s. Instead, he pulls out his phone and dials a number that recently entered his contacts. “Hey, Button. Is everything okay?” Her voice is like a light guiding him back to home base. He vehemently shakes his head, “No, I’m not. Do you have time to talk?” Y/N immediately stops what she is doing and gives him her full attention for the whole night. 

Taglist: @loves0phelia @thelomlisrafecameron @wickedlovely121 @thepatriarchykeychain @drewsmusee @starkowswife @maybankslover @forstarkey @loving-and-dreaming @drewstarkeyswifehoe @kisstaya @magicalyoura @mp-littlebit @loverfu55ii @dark1paradise @sublimepenguinpeach-blog @alyisdead @emeloyy @js-a-writer

[ragingbookdragon]

If We Were Fast Enough

Flash!Reader x Flashfamily One-Shot

Word Count: 5.3K Warnings: Explicit Language, Angst

Author's Note: I had this idea after watching a few clips of Flashpoint Paradox! Enjoy! -Thorne

**********************************************************************

Her hand was tightly clasped in his, eyes narrowed in sadness, but there was a pride in them; she felt the speed transfer between them, flowing through her veins and he said, “You’ve got my speed, honey. It’s up to you now.”

The tears that had welled in her vision tipped over and she whispered, “I can’t leave you here, dad. I—I can’t just run away.”

He shook his head. “You’re not running away. You’re surviving.” A groan escaped him, and the pool of blood seemed to double in size. “We’re running out of time. You’ve gotta go before the timeline collapses.”

“Where do I go?” she asked, wiping her eyes. “This universe is home.”

“Honey, Speedsters are Speedsters whichever universe we’re in.” he smiled weakly at her. “You’ll have a family wherever you end up.”

She gazed at him, breathing deeply as fresh tears grew in her gaze. “I’m scared.”

“I know. But you can do this.” he replied, pausing to look her over. “You look just like your mother, honey.” He smiled tearfully. “She’d be so proud of you if she were here now.”

Pulling the cowl over her head, she gave a watery laugh. “Mom always said I looked like you.”

“Nah. You take your speed and nature after me, but you are a spitting image of your mother.” A blast sounded in the distance and they both looked over, eyes widening as the white flash of light grew larger and larger. “You have to go. Now.”

Swallowing thickly, she leaned down and hugged him around his neck as tight as she could, inhaling the scent of ozone and spearmint for the last time. “I love you, dad. I love you so much.” Her fingers dug into his ruined suit as she cried. “I love you.”

He caressed the back of her cowled head. “I love you more, honey.” Pulling away, he leveled her with a firm look. “Now run, Lightning Flash. Run.”

The bluish-white lightning flowed across her body, and she turned, letting her feet carry her across the war-torn field, escaping the atomic blast. The world melted around her, a blur of memories surrounding her: her birthdays, her parents’ faces, her first stroke as a Flash, the start of the war, the deaths of her friends and family, everything up until now.

She was helpless to stop the tears that flowed down her cheeks, the feeling of her heart pounding in her chest, and the booming in her ears as she ripped through the waves of time and the boundaries of space.

A shriek sounded behind her, and she turned her head, eyes widening. “Ah shit!”

The time wraith screamed at her again, reaching out to grab her and she just barely dodged it, turning back to face the flowing warp. She was close. All she had to do was get to the next time boundary and she could lose the wraith.

“Almost there!” she told herself as another bellowed sounded in her ears again, and with one final leap, she burst through the barrier, the waves collapsing around her. The shock of the blast sent her skidding along the ground, and she cried out as she rolled.

Shouts sounded in her ears, humans, but she was more concerned about the screaming time wraith. “I just lost everything! Can’t you just leave me the hell alone!” It shrieked at her again, advancing and anger welled through her as she pushed herself to her feet and she growled, “You wanna dance, you sonovabitch? Then let’s dance.”

Her eyes lit up in a white force and she darted past the wraith, hitting a point above it, then she darted past again, and again and again in a star formation, over and over until all that could be seen was a blur of blue and white. The clouds rumbled above, swirling faster and faster and she hit the top of the star, coming down at the wraith. A burst of lightning cracked from the sky, striking the time being just as she collided with it, and in a hail of blue and white strikes, the wraith exploded into smoking fragments.

As the smoke cleared, the human voices grew louder, but she was sprawled out on the ground, breathing heavily, her body crying under the strain. Someone placed their hand on her shoulder, worrying, “Are you alright?”

She nodded weakly. “Yeah…just gimme a minute. The five-star lightning strike always takes a lot outta me.” Shutting her eyes, she focused on breathing deeply.

“I’ve never seen anyone destroy a time wraith before.”

“It takes practice.” Craning her neck, she opened her eyes, and bit back a sob as the man’s face cleared before hers. “You’re this world’s Flash, aren’t you?” she whispered, “Barry Allen.” His blue eyes widened, and he nodded mutely. “I figured.”

“Who are you?” he asked. “What world did you come from?”

She shook her head. “Doesn’t matter. It’s gone now.” Meeting his gaze once more, she added, “But you can call me the Lightning Flash.”

“What’s your real name?” Barry quizzed.

(Y/N) Allen. And I’d tell you that but all it’d do is bring hurt to both of us.

“(Y/N) Sloan.” She laid her head down, closing her eyes. “I’m gonna take a nap for a while…I’m really…tired…”

His voice called out to her, but all she heard was a warbling noise as she drifted into darkness.

***

When she came to, her head felt like someone had thrown an overripe melon off a balcony ledge and watched it splatter across the ground. She groaned and forced her eyes to open, pushing herself up on her palms.

“Woah, woah, woah!” someone worried. “Take it easy there, Flashy.”

(Y/N) looked over, seeing a familiar green symbol, and an ever more familiar unmasked face. “I’m fine, Hal.”

He blinked. “You know who I am?”

“Please, I’d know that big head of yours from a mile away.” Smirking, she added, “I know everyone in the Justice League.” She grunted, pulling her left arm over her chest, feeling the taut muscles in her back ripple as she stretched them out. “Where am I?”

“The Watchtower.” Hal gazed at her curiously. “Man, when Barry said you knew who he was, I didn’t think he meant you knew all of us.”

“You sound upset that you didn’t get to introduce yourself,” she shot back with a pained grin, stretching her other arm. “If it makes you feel any better, I’ll forget I know you, and you can reintroduce yourself.”

He chuckled and pressed a button on the side of the med bay bed. “Nah, no point now.” He looked down at the small light flashing. “Hey, she’s awake.”

In an instant, a sharp wind blew across the room and there stood the scarlet speedster without his cowl; moments later, the doors opened and in walked the top League members, Superman, Wonder Woman, and Batman.

(Y/N) threw her legs over the side of the bed as they walked over, waving off Barry and Hal who both reached for her, and stood on shaky legs. “Shit, I feel like a newly born giraffe.”

“You shouldn’t be up.” Barry frowned. “You practically tore yourself apart at the molecular level.”

“It was that or be taken by a time wraith,” she shot back, cracking her neck. “How long have I been out?”

“Eighty-six hours,” Batman said, taking her chin in his hand, tipping her head side to side as he shown a light in her eyes. “Your body’s been recovering slower than it should for a Flash.”

(Y/N) blinked. “The particular move does like Barry said it did. It tears the body at the molecular level to contain the speed force into one location.”

“It was dangerous,” Barry scowled, and she couldn’t help but laugh at this younger version of her father who was still just as serious.

“Being a Flash is dangerous.” She felt Batman pull away and she flexed her fingers. “I don’t use the move unless it’s a life-or-death situation.” Glancing at Barry, she questioned, “What earth is this?”

Before he could speak, Batman denounced, “You time jumped, and you don’t know what earth you came into?”

“I didn’t exactly have time to think out a plan while a nuclear blast was going off, Bruce,” she growled, glaring at him from behind the neon blue mask. “And to top it off, I had a time wraith coming after me. I wasn’t in a position to choose which earth I wanted.”

He went silent, gazing at her intently. “Whose names do you know of the Justice League here?”

(Y/N) looked around at the superheroes before her. “You’re all the same Justice League as my earth, but in mine, you’re retired, and your children run the show.”

“I’m sorry, children?” Hal interrupted. “We have—we have children?”

“Some,” she laughed. “Conner Kent is our Superman, Donna Troy is our Wonder Woman, Jason Todd is our Batman, Kyle Rayner is our Green Lantern, and Roy Harper is our Green Arrow.”

“And you?” Superman questioned.

“I’m my Justice League’s Flash. The Lightning Flash.” (Y/N) smiled wearily. “The fastest woman alive.” She toyed with the blue and white gauntlet. “At least now I am.”

“You said you were our kids?” Hal said. “Are you Barry’s daughter?”

The two Speedsters looked at each other and she answered calmly, “No. My transformation into the Flash was a freak accident, much like Wally West’s. That being said, I’m not related to the Flashfamily by blood.”

“Hmm.” Batman grunted, then turned, wandering off. “You need to rest up more then we’ll run tests.”

“Only if she consents.” Barry called out.

Bruce stopped, not even bothering to look over his shoulder as he retorted, “She’s a Speedster from another universe. We need more information before we can let her loose in anyone’s city.”

As he wandered off, she placed her hands on her hips and griped, “God, I miss Jason being Batman. He’s less of a jerk-off about new things.”

Superman chuckled, resting a hand on her shoulder. “Don’t take it the wrong way…(Y/N), was it?”

She nodded. “Yeah, (Y/N) Sloan.” Sticking her hand out, she added, “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“Pleasure’s all mine,” he murmured, shaking her hand strongly, then he pulled away. “He is right though. You should get some more rest before you wander around the Watchtower.”

She waved it off. “I’ll be alright. If you’ve got a treadmill designed for Speedsters though, I’d like to run a bit.”

“I’ll show you where it is,” Barry answered, leading her from the group. As they walked down the hallway, she paused, leaning against the wall as a wave of nausea came over her; he caught it instantly. “Are you okay?” he frowned. “We should go back to the med bay.”

“No.” she grunted. “I’m fine. Just…just gimme a moment.” Shaking it off, she squared her shoulders. “I absorbed speed from the remaining Speedsters on my world before I left. It’s just taking a toll on me.”

“Why absorb their speed?” he asked, and she could tell from his voice that there was a level of suspicion in it.

“Because it was the only way to keep it from being stolen by our enemies as we were being slaughtered.” (Y/N) looked down the hall. “We can go now. It’s passed.” She bypassed him, wandering down the hallway, though she kept a hand on the railing the entire time.

***

It wasn’t a surprise that they sent her back to Central City with Barry after the few tests she’d let them run. Only tests on the outside, no blood or DNA samples for them to investigate. Barry’s apartment was cramped and there wasn’t room for them both to be in the kitchen, but she’d lived there before, so ducking under his arms and turning around him was second nature.

And Barry, bless the kindhearted soul he was, tried at every opportunity to make her comfortable in the home. (Y/N) respected it, knowing that even worlds apart, Barry Allen was still Barry Allen. She watched him sometimes. When he was sitting on the sofa or at the bar, flipping through paperwork or reading a book on physics. He always lost track of time, forgot what was happening around him, but his face showed ease. Peace. Like the world wasn’t on his shoulders.

It made her miss her father. It made her miss her family and friends. Her world. (Y/N) cried at night on the couch, silent tears dripping down her cheeks as she remembered every last moment of her family and friends’ lives. She’d been lucky in the end to come out unscathed. But her father, his friends, her friends, all dead. All killed in a pointless war that ended with the entire world blown to hell—and she was the only one left.

She sat beside the window, gazing down at the quiet street below her; she felt like crying, but by now, she’d cried out every tear, and all that remained was the hole drilled in her chest, empty and aching.

“(Y/N)?” Glancing over, she saw Barry coming out from his bedroom, brows furrowing at her. “Are you okay?”

Shrugging, she looked back out the window. “I don’t know if I’ll ever be okay again, Barry.” It was hard to not call him ‘dad’ all the time, and weird to call him ‘Barry’.

She felt him sit opposite of her on the little bench. “Can I help you anyway?”

It took a while for her to speak, but when she did, her voice was barely above a whisper. “It’s all gone. My life. All of it. I’m the only one left from my world.” She swallowed the lump in her throat. “I’m…alone.” His hand rested on hers and she felt tears well in her gaze. “I miss my family…and I miss my friends.”

She shook her head, looking at him. “Why my world? Why us?” tears slipped down her cheeks. “Everything was fine one moment and the next thing any of us knew, the world was going to war, and we couldn’t stop it.” A loathing laugh escaped her. “We were the Justice League. The proteges of the greatest heroes and yet we couldn’t stop war.”

(Y/N) wiped her tears. “We failed. I failed.”

“What happened wasn’t your fault, (Y/N).” Barry murmured. “You know that.”

“It feels like it.” She countered. “What do I have to show for all my saving? A sole survivor stuck in a world that has no need for her.”

His eyes were narrowed in concern, the way her father’s used to do when she’d tell him of her troubles and doubts. “There’s always a need for us. Everyone one of us.”

“Speedsters?” she asked, and he squeezed her hand.

“If the universe wanted you dead, you’d be dead, (Y/N). But you’re here and you’re alive.” He smiled sadly. “You can’t outrun the past. But you can change the direction you’re running in.”

She gazed at him and for once in the past few weeks she’d been there, she felt her heart lighten. “Thank you, Barry.”

He smiled warmly at her and patted her hand. “Since we’re both awake…wanna go for a run?”

(Y/N) chuckled and nodded her head. “Yeah. It’d certainly help burn off the emotions.” She held out her hand and Barry looked at the ring on her finger.

“Wow, your ring is cool.” He took her hand, gazing intently at it. “I noticed your suit isn’t red like most of us Speedsters are. Yours is mainly blue and white.”

She nodded. “It was too complicated to call myself Flash since there were more than one, so I took the name Lightning Flash and designed my suit the colors associate with lighting.” (Y/N) vibrated and reappeared in her suit. “Blue and white.”

“With silver trimming,” he added, poking the mask she wore, and she batted his hand away.

“Hey, gold’s overrated.”

Barry’s face pinched as he vibrated into his suit. “Is not!”

“Is too! It’s the colors for the Seminoles.”

He placed a hand to his chest. “I can’t believe you just told me my colors were FSU’s colors. I’ve been fatally wounded.”

“You’re a drama queen,” (Y/N) laughed then started towards the door. “Race you to Coast City!”

Barry sped after her. “Why Coast City!”

“Because it’s California, man!” she watched as he matched her speed. “And Hal’s apartment always has Doritos!”

“I think you might have a crush on our resident Green Lantern,” Barry teased and (Y/N) gagged.

“Dude, gross.”

“Oh, come on! Don’t tell me you aren’t friends with your Green Lantern!”

“The best, but Kyle and I were only friends! My dalliance fell with another team member!”

“Batman?” he asked, and she nodded.

“Batman.”

“Oh. Lovely.” Barry sighed. “You and Jason Todd seem like a wonderful pair.”

(Y/N) snorted. “Contrary to popular belief, Jason was actually a fantastic Batman. He loved it, oddly enough.”

“That is odd,” the Speedster countered. “Because as far as I know, none of the Batkids want to be Batman.”

She merely laughed in return, passing the Coast City sign.

***

“You know these aren’t…my world folks, right?”

He smiled, watching the group of young adults across the room laugh and joke around. “I know, but the lot of us thought it would be good if you got together with the age group of you own.” Barry looked over. “Besides, I think you’re going to fit right in with this world’s group.”

(Y/N) tipped her head side to side, huffing a laugh as Jason thumped Kyle in the side. “We’ll see.” She let Barry lead her over and the small group perked up at their arrival.

“Hey guys, thanks for coming on such short notice. I know you were busy.”

Jason crossed his arms over his chest. “So, why did the League invite us all?”

Barry gestured to (Y/N). “I’d like everyone to meet (Y/N) Sloan. She’s a Speedster who recently arrived on this earth.”

“Recently?” Roy asked and he nodded.

“There was a…problem on her earth.” He glanced at her and nodded, prompting her to speak.

“My world isn’t in the general stream of timelines anymore.” She smiled awkwardly. “I came here to…survive more or less.” Holding out her hand for one of them to shake, she said, “But it’s a pleasure to meet you all.”

“You know who we are?” Kyle asked as he shook her hand.

“Yeah. This world is surprisingly similar to mine, Kyle.” (Y/N) smiled with a little less awkwardness. “I know all of you.” Her eyes fell on Jason who was watching her closely, teal eyes narrowed in calculation. “Penny for your thoughts?”

He hummed. “Who are we over there?”

At that, all the awkwardness fell away. “You don’t wanna know,” she giggled, and his face dropped.

“No.” she nodded, and he whispered, “Me?”

“You.”

“I’m confused,” Roy interrupted, and Donna snickered.

“I think Jason’s the Batman of (Y/N)’s world.”

“HA!” everyone dissolved into hysterics as Jason proceeded to all but cry.

“I don’t wanna be Batman!” he whined. “Why am I Batman! Why not anyone else!”

(Y/N) laughed. “What are you talking about? You volunteered to be Batman.”

“Jesus, I must’ve lost my mind then,” Jason retorted, then looked at her. “Do I carry guns?”

“Non-lethal rounds.”

“Damnit.” He sulked. “Can’t freakin’ believe I’m the Batman on your world and I willingly put the suit on.”

“You were a good Batman,” she stated. “There wasn’t anyone I trusted more to watch my back on the team.”

He met her gaze, seemingly shocked, though it only lasted a minute as he quizzed, “So if I’m Batman, does that make all of us…?”

(Y/N) nodded. “Yep. Wonder Woman, Superman, Green Arrow, and Green Lantern.”

“And you?” Kyle asked.

“Lightning Flash,” she answered coolly. “The fastest woman alive.” Meeting their gazes, she tipped her head down. “I know you’re not them…but I do hope we can be friends.” She smiled. “You can never have too many of those, no matter what world you’re on.”

Kyle looked over at Barry who was almost crying. “We get to keep her, right? Because if we don’t, I’m going to be very upset.”

(Y/N) snorted and wrapped a loose arm around his waist. “Don’t worry, Kyle. I’m not going anywhere anytime soon.” A growling sounded and her cheeks warmed as she pressed a hand to her stomach. “Sorry about that.”

Jason laughed, getting to his feet. “I guess Speedster stomachs are the same no matter what world you’re on.”

“Isn’t that the truth,” Barry retorted, and the vigilante looked at her.

“Wanna annoy Batman and hang around Gotham City?”

(Y/N) nodded. “Absolutely.”

“Wait for me!” Roy shouted, yanking his legs from the table, and soon the others were following.

Barry watched them as they walked to the Zeta-Tubes, laughing and ribbing one another like they’d been friends since childhood; someone nudged him in the side, murmuring, “She’s gonna be okay.”

He nodded as Hal settled beside him. “Yeah…I know she will.” He smiled as (Y/N) leaned into Jason’s side and brought a hand to her eyes, wiping the tears away. “She’s already fitting in better than I thought.”

“(Y/N)’s a strong woman,” Hal acknowledged. “She acts a lot like you in that aspect.”

“How so?” Barry inquired and the Lantern shrugged.

“Well, you can’t get her to stop attending League meetings no matter what Batman says, and she’s always ready to put herself on the line for us.” Hal huffed a laugh. “And she treats me like I’m an old man. I’m thirty-eight and she acts like I’m fifty-six.” He looked at Barry. “But she flows in the world like you, Barry. Her mannerisms, her styles, her speech, it’s all you.”

The Speedster frowned, quietly stating, “You think she’s my future daughter, don’t you?”

Hal shrugged. “She doesn’t look like you, but she’s comfortable around you. Like she knows she’s safe if you’re there with her.”

“Why lie about it though?” Hal could tell Barry was hurt. “Wouldn’t she want to tell me?”

“If you lost everything and showed up in another world where there was a parent still alive, would you act like nothing changed or would you keep it at arms-length?”

Barry sighed. “You’re…right.” He shook his head. “I didn’t even think of that.” His frown deepened. “She must hate looking at me though. I’m not her dad but I’m another version of him.”

“She doesn’t hate you, Barry.” Hal said, clasping his hand on his best friend’s shoulder. “She’s just…trying to keep it all together and not mix this world with hers.”

“I feel connected with her.” He admitted. “The speed force works funny like that. We can feel other speedsters—we know their speeds and auras.” His voice became soft. “Hers feels like…like…”

“Like?” Hal encouraged and Barry sighed.

“Her aura feels like when I went back in time and saved my mom.” He shook his head. “It’s hard to explain but she feels like—”

“Like family.”

Barry gaped at Hal. “Yeah…that’s exactly it.”

Hal nodded. “She’s still your daughter even worlds apart.”

“What do I say to her?��

“Don’t.” he answered. “Let her come to you about it.”

“That sounds like a good idea,” Barry agreed.

***

The group had dispersed as quickly as it had come together, not that she was overly upset—she knew they all had prior engagements and teams to be apart of, but she would’ve been lying to say that it hadn’t saddened her a bit. Jason and Kyle, however, seemed to be the only ones that were usually around, Jason more than the latter.

(Y/N) liked being around Jason. He was much more hotheaded than she was used to, but she decided that like the Flashes, Jason Todd was Jason Todd no matter what universe he was in.

He was a little more reckless than she knew, playing fast and loose with the game, but he knew where his feet landed with each jump, and he was there when she needed help, her the same.

It hadn’t taken him long to deduce that the two of them were more than friends in her world, making the joke that she was his Catwoman—she’d cried she’d laughed so hard, but it given them time to talk about everything that had happened to her and her world; most importantly, her father.

She watched as Jason reclined against the cool stone of the ledge, passing one of the wrapped cheeseburgers to her. “Thank you,” she murmured, unwrapping it.

“Mhm,” he hummed, sipping his milkshake, setting his hood beside him; he swallowed and looked over. “What’s on your mind?”

(Y/N) blinked. “What are you talking about?” he merely cocked a brow and she sighed. “I forgot you could read people well.”

“Well maybe if you were a book and not a pamphlet, it’d be harder.”

“Did you just call me simple?”

“Never.” He waved it off. “What are you thinking about?”

She sighed again and set her half-eaten burger aside, pulling her knees to her chest as she whispered, “My mom’s maiden name was Sloan.”

Jason arched a brow. “You go by ‘Sloan’. Was your mom married?”

“My parents were. She died from cancer when I was ten.”

“I’m sorry,” he lamented, and she smiled.

“Thank you.” (Y/N) looked over. “My last name is Allen.”

His eyes widened. “As in Barry Allen, Allen?”

“Yeah…my dad.”

Jason blinked. “Holy shit.”

“Mhm.” She propped her chin on her knees. “The reason I’m just as fast as Wally West in this world is because I absorbed my dad’s speed before I left mine.” (Y/N) gazed at the city. “And then I left him to die in the blast.”

“You know that wasn’t your fault.”

She huffed. “So Barry’s told me.”

Jason stared at her. “Why do you live with him in Central City?”

“Because I don’t have anywhere else to go,” she answered. “And I…I—”

“You miss your dad.” He answered for her, and she nodded, feeling warmth gather in her eyes and she squeezed them shut.

“Yeah…it’s not him but…”

“It’s the only thing you’ve got that’s close enough to him.”

“Yeah.”

Jason nodded. “You’re welcome to come live with me over here.”

(Y/N) looked over at him. “I can’t do that, Jason.”

“Why not?”

She laughed. “We barely know each other.”

He shrugged. “We know each other enough.” Gazing at her, he added, “I’m not your world’s Jason, but we must be similar enough because I’ve seen and felt you fall behind me during fights, being at my six when I didn’t have it covered.” He smiled. “You know me, (Y/N), and I’d like to know you too.”

She merely gaped at him, then huffed a laugh. “I think that’s the most similar thing to my world’s Jason that I’ve heard you say.”

“Oh, come on!” he griped. “He couldn’t be that different from me!”

(Y/N) smiled. “Robins.”

Jason blanched. “I had Robins?”

“You had a son, who was exactly like you right now.”

“I wanna ask about the son, but what do you mean right now?”

“Oh, you know…hotheaded, anti-social, antagonistic.”

“You’re cute,” he scowled, then looked into the distance. “I can’t imagine bringing my kid with me.”

(Y/N) giggled. “Please, it took him like five years of complete begging on his knees before you’d even let him put on the suit, let alone go out with you.” She reached over and pushed hair behind his ear. “You were a good father…a good man.” Her expression turned sad. “I wasn’t fast enough to save either of you.”

Jason leaned into her touch, a frown on his face. “They know you tried, (Y/N).”

Tears gathered in her eyes. “I hope they knew that.” She shook her head as the tears started to spill over. “I lost everyone. You, JJ, my dad and all my friends.” (Y/N) stared at him through the tears. “How do I just start over after all that?”

He pushed the takeout bags out of the way and scooted over, pulling her to his chest; she buried her face in his suit and he propped his chin on the crown of her head. “I wish I had an answer for you.” He rubbed circles in her back. “But I do know that you can either let this keep you down, or you can get back up. Because if you don’t…then every life lost was in vain for you to survive.”

“I take it back,” she blubbered. “Your philosophical bullshit life lessons are the most Jason thing I’ve heard.”

He smiled, squeezing her tight. “That’s what we’re gonna call it now. Philosophical bullshit life lessons.” Jason pressed a kiss to her head. “It’s going to be okay, (Y/N). It’ll get better.”

***

It’d been a full year since she’d come to the new earth. She hadn’t moved in with Jason yet, but the moving boxes on the couch were the start of it—and she hadn’t told Barry she was leaving, or that he was her dad. (Y/N) wasn’t sure how to break that seal just yet.

She wandered around the tiny apartment, smiling at all the memories she’d made in the past year, and into his bedroom, where she paused at his dresser. A gold ring rested on top of it, and she picked it up, flipping it in her hand.

A woosh sounded from the door. “I’m home!” Barry’s voice trailed off in confusion and he called, “(Y/N)?”

“Here.”

He appeared in her peripheral, but she didn’t take her eyes off the ring, still gazing at the center stones. “There are boxes on the couch.”

“I’m moving in with Jason over in Gotham.”

“Oh…” he murmured, then took sight of what she had in her hands. “Is that—”

“Nora’s wedding ring?” she nodded. “Yeah.”

“How’d you know it was my mom’s?” Barry asked, stepping up to her and she finally looked at him, meeting his eyes.

“Because I had the same one in my world.” (Y/N) searched his gaze. “But you don’t seem surprised by that fact.” She sighed. “How long have you known?”

Barry’s face contorted in shame. “A few weeks after you got here.”

“Why didn’t you say something?”

He shook his head. “Hal said—” he sighed. “I wanted to wait until you said something to me about it. I was afraid if I did, you’d run.”

(Y/N)’s brows pulled together, lips pulling down sadly. “Barry…”

“I know I’m not your dad,” he whispered. “But I know, (Y/N). I can feel it.”

She felt her lips wobble and before she knew it, she was throwing herself into his arms, wrapping hers around his waist as tight as she could. “Dad.”

Barry’s arms came around her, one holding the back of her head, the other in the middle of her back. “I’m here, (Y/N).”

“I missed you so much,” she cried. “I wasn’t fast enough to save them, and I couldn’t save you either.”

“No,” he said. “You did everything you could. I know you did.”

“But I wasn’t fast enough.” (Y/N) sobbed. “You had to give me your speed so I could run away. Like a coward.”

“Like a survivor,” Barry corrected. “You’ve never run away.” He ran his fingers through her hair. “You’re a survivor, (Y/N). And your dad made sure of that.” He pulled away slightly, tears of his own dripping down his cheeks. “You’re fast enough.” She shut her eyes as more tears rolled down her cheeks and he pressed his lips to her forehead. “And no matter what world you’re on, you’re still my daughter.”

A laugh that sounded much more like a sob escaped her and she hugged him again. “I love you, dad.”

Barry smiled, holding her tight. “I love you more, honey.”

[joaquinwhorres]

alone together (Diego Hargreeves x Reader)

SUMMARY ››››› Dating is hard. But it's even harder to watch the person you love dating other people.

REQUEST ››››› 11 +13 with Diego? (11. Telling them a dumb joke just to see their smile. 13. Playing your fingers through their hair while sitting next to them on the couch.) 

WORD COUNT ››››› 2,261

WARNINGS ››››› dirty jokes

A/N ››››› This idea popped into my head right as I was going to sleep the other night, and it just kind of poured out. I always feel a bit guilty when I turn love story requests into something a bit angsty, soooo I added some fluffy moments in here as well. And let me just say, I love their dynamic. Also I *slightly* changed 13. 

They've been close since the Academy. Not the Umbrella shit, the police academy--which was, pretty much, more of the same shit. Still had to dress up in a dapper little uniform and take orders from superiors who hardly deserved the title. He spent his childhood training to take down the bad guys and some thirty year old asshole who got his badge five years ago and aced some written test knew better than him? Bullshit.

She was one of the few people who put up with him at the time. Everyone else talked their shit and played the stupid game, as if blowing smoke up the instructors' ass would save them in the field. She was the only one who listened. Who took his tips on how to disarm over the trainers. Who questioned rules that would cost lives. Who put him in his place and drew lines between Number 2 and Diego Hargreeves he didn't know existed. 

So yeah, he's been in love with her for a while.

Which is why, when she calls asking him to come over, he turns off the police scanner, takes off the mask, and gets in his car. 

When she opens the door to her apartment, he can't help the small smile that quirks at the corner of his lips. She's so goddamn beautiful even in her leggings and Synchronicity baseball tee he got her as a joke when she graduated the academy. She had laughed so hard she cried and then serenaded him with "Roxanne". It was the wrong album, but he couldn't have given less of a shit.

She, Sting, and the other two bastards are looking at him expectantly, so he quirks an eyebrow hoping that it turns his smile into more of a smirk. "You gonna let me in, or did you just want to show me your front door?"

She gives a mirthless pity laugh to tell him how not funny he is. "I was hoping you were the pizza guy."

"Sorry to disappoint," he shakes his head, and the smile situation is getting out of control.

"Not sorrier than I am," she says, heaving a long suffering sigh as she steps aside to let him inside. He doesn't even make it past her before she breaks and offers him a smile.

 Diego snorts and turns towards what might as well be his second home. Or first. Hell, he's here more than he's ever in his shitty room at the boxing gym. The TV is on, blankets pooled in a semicircle on the couch, a bottle of wine and half empty glass in front of the spot. Her purse and keys sit on the table, heels kicked off under a chair. Other than that, the place is pristine as usual. 

He doesn't like the way this scene looks. 

"Thought you had a date tonight," he remarks, heading into the kitchen to get himself a wine glass. Behind him, the door clicks shut and her bare feet patter lightly against the floor.

"There was a miscommunication."

It's the way her voice is too light-- each word is carefully chosen. How under the chair's legs one shoe is on its side while the other is still standing. The fact that she's drinking red wine instead of those stupid Whiteclaws.

"He didn't show." Diego turns to her as he says this, watching to see the words reach her. When they do, her eyes shoot down to the ground and she gives a small shake of her head. 

"No." Her voice is soft and her eyes run over the scratch marks on the wooden floor from when she had him rearranging the furniture to make her new coffee table "aesthetically fit". It's threelong seconds before she speaks again. "He uh--meant to meet up with someone else."

Anger shoots through him, burning and vicious and fuck wine as a solution. Diego strides forward, heading to the front door, when she reaches out a hand to stop him. "Don't."

He looks at her and tries to arrange his features into some semblance of innocent concern. "I'm just going to my car to get a bottle of whiskey I keep there." He has to pry his gaze away from hers because the look she's giving him makes his heart feel like it's going to implode. She looks at him as if she sees him. She's the only person who's ever given him that look.

"Diego. Do not go interrupt his date to pick a fight."

"Fuck," he curses under his breath because she sees right through the lie. He turns back to her, mouth open to deny the accusation when her look intensifies. 

"I know you Diego Hargreeves." 

No one has ever told him they love him.

But that sounds pretty damn close. 

She releases his arm because she knows that she's won or maybe she has some misplaced faith in his self-control. "I really appreciate that you want to kill him. Really, really appreciate it. But I don't need you going to jail on assault charges. I need you here, drinking wine and watching TV with me. Unless you actually have that whiskey."

He shakes his head, thankful he doesn't have to respond because the fact that she needs him leaves him just about breathless. 

This time she curses under her breath, a soft damn. "You're such a tease," she comments, heading back to the couch and he goes back to get a wine glass from the cabinet.

“It's only for you, baby,” he calls over his shoulder. 

They’re two bottles of wine deep and it’s only 11 o’clock. She had apparently been joking about the pizza guy, much to Diego’s disappointment. When he voiced as much, her eyes got big and bright, and she grabbed his face in her hands. “Then let’s order a fucking pizza.” 

And then she slapped him, one cheek after the other and went to get her cell phone.

They’re still waiting on the pizza.

But his attention has been less on the grumbling in his stomach and more on the fact that y/n hasn't laughed once in the last forty minutes. She hasn't so much as cracked a smile. Not even when Esther stabs her hand in front of Hank. In fact, since the phone call for pizza she's hardly even said a word, and he can see what she's doing. She's torturing herself. Her attention isn't on Barry, it's on the asshole she left at whatever bar to go on a date with someone who wasn't her.  

"Hey," he says, and she turns to look at him, eyebrows raised. At least she isn't that far down the rabbit hole. That's good. He's been there enough times to know how hard it is to pull yourself out of the cycle. To silence out the memories of voices you shouldn't give two shits about anymore and focus on what's in front of you. "How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant?"

Her nose wrinkle and brow creases in confusion, and she stares at him like he's clinically insane. "What?" 

"Come on," he gestures, turning towards her so that their knees brush together. "How'd the Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant?" 

She seems to catch on then, her face more skeptical than concerned for his sanity. "How?"

"He forgot to wrap his whopper." 

She just shakes her head, turning back to the TV. He wouldn't be Number 2 if he gave up now. "What should you do if you come across an elephant?"

"What?" her voice is flat and unamused, but it's not the same tone she gives him when she's done with his bullshit.

"Apologize and wipe it off." 

She cracks then, her lips fighting against her will to keep a straight face as the corner of her mouth twitches up into a smile. A small burst of air exhales through her nose. It's not a laugh, and it's not a smile, but it's a start.

""What's the difference between 'Oooh!' and 'Aaah!'?"

"Oh no--" 

"About three inches."

She bursts with laughter then, slapping a hand over her mouth to stifle her giggles. Her eyes crinkle in the corner, as she looks at him, shaking her head. He's gotten what he wanted, but what's one more joke?

"What goes in hard and dry and comes out wet and soft?" 

She almost chokes on the wine she's sipping to help her stop laughing. "Diego!" 

"Chewing gum. Why, what were you thinking?" 

"Fuck you," she says, pointing a finger at him, but she's laughing, so he starts laughing too. She sets her wine glass back down in front of her and crawls all the way on the couch, shuffling closer to him so she can beat his arm with both of her fists. 

"It's a good joke," he protests, laughing harder as she continues her assault. 

"It's so not a good joke!" she argues back, tears streaming down from her eyes. But they're from laughter rather than what's going on in her head, so he'll take it. His arm is saved from the punching by a knock at the door. Naturally she moves to get up, but he shakes his head, gently pushing her back down into the couch and reaching into his back pocket to pull out his wallet. 

The guy takes in his tactical outfit with a raised eyebrow, but doesn't say anything about it. Diego feels a bit sorry that he took off his knives. Scaring the pizza guy was always mildly entertaining for himself. Instead he passes along the money with a "Thanks man," and returns to Y/N who has settled back into her spot. 

She gives him a warning look and holds up a finger at him again. "No jokes during the pizza." 

"What?" It's his turn to look at her like she's crazy. 

"I'll choke and die, and you don't want that on your conscience--and don't turn that into another joke," she adds quickly, preventing him from using the innuendo before he can even find it in the sentence.

"Fine," he says, sinking into his seat and putting the box of pizza on the coffee table. "No jokes. Just pizza."

She narrows her eyes suspiciously at him even as she reaches forward to pull out a slice. She doesn't break her gaze until she's swallowed and he bites into his own piece. There's a few moments of quiet between them, but it feels better than it did before the pizza. There's something lighter in the air between them, and he hopes she feels it too. 

"Thank you," she says, suddenly. 

It takes him a second and a quick glance around the apartment to realize that she means the pizza. He scoffs and waves the thanks off. 

"No, Diego, seriously. Thank you. For coming over," she sighs. "I needed this." 

"I'm always here for you," he said, nudging her with his shoulder. "You know that. Can't get rid of me even if you tried." 

She offers a small smile, and tucks a lock of hair behind her ear, wincing as she notices the pizza grease on her finger tips. Diego shouldn't be watching her this closely. He should focus on his pizza like a normal person. But he can't take his eyes off her. How she seems just a bit slower, just a bit quieter today. She runs her fingers over a napkin leaving a trail of yellow grease. "Do you wanna hear something sad?" she asks, her voice small.

"When you say it like that, how could I say no?" It was supposed to be a joke, but his voice is too soft.

She doesn't look at him, instead keeping her eyes fixated on the used napkin. 

"This isn't the first time that's happened. It's not even the first time that's happened this month." 

He wants to kill. He wants to wage a war against the boys on Tinder or Bumble or the force or wherever it is she's finding these assholes. But she needs him here. She told him she needs him.

"They're idiots," he says. "Complete fucking morons." 

"Statistics would suggest otherwise," she shook her head, looking back up at the tv, frozen on a close up of Bill Hader's face. "I mean...guy after guy, I'm always the one getting broken up with or ghosted. Is there something I'm not seeing? Seriously, Diego, is there something wrong with me?" She looks at him then, eyes shining and heartbreaking in the earnestness of the question. 

"There's not a single fucking thing wrong with you," he says quickly wiping his own hands off so he can pull her in close. She wraps her arms around his middle, leaning her forehead into the crook of his neck. He can feel her breath against his skin. Feel her heartbeat. He holds her even tighter.

"I'm going to put that in my bio from now on. Not a single fucking thing wrong with me. Verified by Diego Hargreeves." She gives a single quiet laugh at her own joke, and Diego smiles, running his fingers through her hair. He isn't sure if it's as calming to her as it is to him, but her head feels a bit heavier as she relaxes more into him. 

 “I don’t know. I think I’m just done with this all. Maybe I’ll like being alone," she sighs, wiggling a little bit closer. "With you of course. We can be alone together.”

'Yeah," his smile is bigger now, and he can feel her smiling against him too. “Yeah, we can do that.”

[sophialikesthings]

Death Of Me Chapter 7

DO NOT STEAL MY WORK

Song: Helium- Glass Animals (IYKYK 💙💚) "This is the stupidest drawing in the world. Who drew this?" I laughed looking at Kiara.

"Who do you think?" She looked over at  Pope.

"Kie, your plan better work because there is no way we can pawn these off with a symbol on it." JJ walked over tossing the gold in front of us.

"It's gonna work." She held up a blow torch.

I helped JJ set up the pot where we would melt off the wheat symbol.

Once the gold was melted down we all hopped in the van and headed towards the local pawn shop.

"Hell of a job melting it down, Dr.Frankenstein." JJ hopped out of the van looking at the poorly melted glob of gold.

"Like you could have done any better?"

"I could have done much better, I took a welding class"

"When?"

"Guys chill, all that matters is that the wheat symbol is gone." I tried to mediate the situation

"Easy for you to say. You're not the one that has to pawn this piece of shit off." JJ held up the gold.

"How did I get this job anyway?"

"Because you're the best liar." Pope said as we headed inside.

===

"Afternoon ma'am" JJ took his cap off.

"Afternoon."

"I see you buy gold." He took off his backpack, the rest of us pretended to look around the store.

"That's what the sign says don't it?"

"Well, I sure hope you buy a lot of it, because I'm about to blow your mind." He pulled it out.

"I ain't got much mind left to blow, so have at it kid."

"How 'bout them gold apples." he set it down in front of the store clerk.

"That ain't real." She chuckled

"That ain't real?" JJ repeated her.

"Feel how heavy it is."

She struggled to pick it up and grabbed her magnifier glass and looked closely as if she was examining every inch of it.

"Spray painted tungsten." She looked at him

She grabbed a hammer and hit a corner of it.

"If that wasn't real gold would you dent it that easily ma'am?" JJ questioned her judgement.

"Hold your horses." She put on her glasses

After bickering back and forth she put it on a scale.

"Seven pounds thats a lot of earrings." She didn't believe his lie.

JJ went on about how his mom had 'alzhimers', trying to gain sympathy from her.

She walked away to go get someone from the back.

"Alzhimers? Are you kidding me JJ?" I questioned his lying capabilities. "What? Got me out of many detentions so why not try it now?"

The owner came back out and started talking prices with JJ I kind of zoned out looking at 'Vintage Jewelry' with Sarah.

Before I knew it we were headed to the pawn stores warehouse to get the money.

"JJ, How in the world did you get away with an Alzheimer's lie?" I laughed.

"Listen man, we got the money didn't we?"

Suddenly we heard the sounds of police sirens telling us to pull over.

As we were trying to stash the gold someone pointed a gun at John B, Unfortunately I knew exactly who this was.

We all carefully did as instructed lying down on the ground while he went through the van.

John B got up and quickly ran to Barry's car grabbing the car keys and waiting till Barry got back in the car, strangling him getting back the gold he took. JJ ran over to help him get the gold back. While they were throwing punches I scooped up the gold from the passenger's seat and ran back to the van.

"I got it! Come on."

"Wait." JJ pulled down his mask.

"I know this piece of shit!" JJ couldn't believe it

"He's a base head."

"Probably knows my brother." Sarah panted.

"He does."

"He sells coke to my dad." JJ squared up.

"Mrs. Country Club!" Before Barry could finish speaking, JJ punched him.

"Let's go see where this son of a bitch lives?" JJ started walking.

"I'm gonna remember this shit!" Barry threatened.

=== "I should get back to my place, I'll see you later JJ." I hugged him tightly.

After I let go I walked back into my house to see the boys hanging out outside.

"Hey!" I greeted them

"There you are! I was wondering where you went?" Rafe hugged me kissing the top of my head.

"Rafe Cameron!" I heard Barry pull up out front.

"Fuck!" I ran inside to my room, opening the window so I could hear their conversation.

"What are you doing here man? Are you good?" Rafe asked, pulling him over to the side.

"No, I aint good man."

"Alright what happened."

"Why's your family think I'm just some bitch they can shit on?" Barry asked. "First your dad kneecaps me in my house, then I have to deal with your sister and your girlfriend breaking into my house and stealing my shit." He got upset.

I saw Topper's face change, he looked up at me and I felt my heart drop.

"My little sister, Robbed you?" Rafe asked.

"Yeah, Sarah, Demi, and their surfer rat friends stole 25k from me! That is why I'm here."

"Demi wouldn't even pick up a dollar off of the streets." Rafe defended me.

"Sort this shit out or I will! And I wont be nice about it." He barked.

"What are you gonna do?" Topper asked.

"I don't know?  That's not my problem." Rafe chuckled.

"Hey, That's Demi we are talking about." He reminded Rafe.

=== I ran over to the Camerons where Sarah and John B were

"We gotta go, Like now! Barry came over to my house and told Rafe about everything, Rafes coming to get you." I explained out of breath.

We quickly left the lot as soon as we could. We made it about five minutes out when Rafe pulled us over.

"Let me handle it, Sarah, come out when you think it's necessary." I hopped out.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" I stomped over.

"There she is!" He took his helmet off.

"Hello? Are you high?" I asked

"Damn it Rafe, we could have run you over."

"I just heard about your little home invasion!" He scoffed.

"What are you talking about?" I acted clueless.

"What would your father, the sheriff, say if he knew you were robbing dealers?"

I heard Sarah step out of the van.

"And you! What would our dad say?" he pointed at her.

"I don't know. You could tell him if he didn't kick you out." she snapped back.

"Listen Demi, I try to take care of you."

"That's a lie" I laughed.

"Who's ungrateful, as always, listen, the guy that you robbed is a bad man, Demi."

"Yeah, I'm aware, Rafe!"

"Listen! He gave me this,okay?" He showed me his arm.

Suddenly Topper decided to show up.

"You take care of your shit, I'll take care of mine!"

"I"m taking care of my shit! Listen Demi, One day I'm gonna be running the show, for us because I love you!"

"A-and I don't like it when we fight." He pulled me in for a hug.

"We will talk about this later."

=== Later That Day === I decided to go and see what JJ was doing because I was bored, oddly I showed up at the house at the same time as Kiara and Pope.

"Hey, what are you doing here?" Kiara asked, giving me a hug.

"Checking in on JJ, he had a rough day."

All of a sudden fairy lights come on.

"Where did that come from?" We went to the back of the house to find out.

As we got closer we saw a drunk JJ sitting in a brand new hot tub popping a cork off of a champagne bottle.

"What did you do? JJ." Pope asked.

"I got a jet going straight in my butt right now." He laughed.

"Y'all should get in here immediately. Especially you Demi, you look hot in a bathing suit."

"Salud!" He held up a plastic champagne glass that was in a flamingo drink floatie.

We just looked at eachother confused about the sudden change in JJ.

"JJ? How much did this cost?" I asked.

"Uh...With the generator, the petrol,and oh, hey, express delivery I'd say...pretty much all of it. Yeah." He chuckled as if this was a joke.

"All of it? You spent all of it. In one day?" I replied.

"Yeah, I burned a hole right through my pocket."

I stepped closer to JJ

"But, I mean ,like,come on, guys, like, look at this!" He showed it off.

"Finest in jet-based massage therapy, that's what they told me."

I just stared at him.

"Demi, what? Can't a man have a little luxury in his life? Come on, all this scrimpin' and scrapin'... I mean, like...guys, we-- you only live once, right? Enough of this emotional shit. Get in the Cat's Ass. Come on." He gestured us over.

"In the what?" Kie finally spoke.

"The Cat's Ass. That's what I named her."

"Oh, hey, yo I almost forgot." He flipped a switch causing a disco ball to light up and spin

"Yeah, that's right, I know. Disco mode."

"Are you kidding me! You could have given it for restitution!" Pope yelled

"Or any charity!" Kiara chimed in.

"Or better yet, you could have helped us buy supplies." Pope threw out another suggestion.

I could see him break.

"Ok, you know what, I didn't do that! I got a hot tub!" He stood up. I saw the bruises on his body making me feel sick.

"For my friends." He cried.

"I got a hot tub for my friends, you know what screw friends. I got a hot tub for my family."

I slipped off my shoes and got in with him, wrapping him in my arms as he cried out.

"I can't do it! I can't take him anymore!"

"It's gonna be okay." I kissed his shoulder while his face was nuzzled in the crook of my neck.

Soon Kiara and Pope joined in on the hug.

"I love you JJ." I whispered in his ear.

"I love you too Demi."

[niiwa-angel]

Plastic Smiles

Hal couldn’t wait for this upcoming weekend. After months of much debate and discussion, Barry had agreed to move to California with him, and they were relocating this Saturday.

Hal was beyond excited to be able to properly show his boyfriend around his home city without worrying about when he had to go home. He knew Barry was also excited, but nervous as well. The blond was hiding it well, always smiling and bubbly when he mentioned the move, but Hal also knew that it was hard for him to leave Central and his family behind.

At the moment, Barry was off visiting his dad one last time before Saturday, and he was bound to be emotional when he came home, so Hal had picked up some pizzas and wings for him when he came home. There wasn’t much left to do, a majority of Barry’s stuff was already packed and had been sent ahead to their condo, all that remained were a few pairs of clothes, his toiletries, and his laptop and charger.

~~~~

“Why can’t I just run there?” Barry grumbled, leaning against Hal’s chest while they sat in the airport waiting lounge.

“Because it would raise too many questions.” Hal reminded him, tugging him closer and kissing his head.

Barry huffed and snuggled closer, Hal feeling his tension in his shoulders. He knew that Barry was not looking forward to the four hour flight at all, so he had made sure to pack a variety of snacks and had downloaded a couple of funny movies Barry liked so that they had something to do.

Hal pulled Barry to his feet when their flight was called to board, feeling his boyfriend tremble when they had their tickets scanned and were waved aboard by the stewardess. Hal guided him to their seats, knowing that they had an entire row to themselves, courtesy of a brilliant idea on Bruce’s part, that having an extra seat might give Barry more room to breathe.

The stewardess started on the safety brief, making Barry close his eyes tight and start shaking harder. Hal shrugged off his jacket and tucked it around the blonds shoulders, taking his hand and giving it a reassuring squeeze.

“Remember, this is the safest way to travel.” Hal reminded him, hoping Barry didn’t throw up on the flight.

“Shut. Up.” Barry hissed through clenched teeth, his eyes shut tight.

Nodding his understanding, Hal kept holding his hand while the plane started moving. When they tilted back for lift off, Barry squeezed his hand so tightly Hal felt his bones grind together, the blond whimpering and shaking as the plane bounced in the air.

When they got to their desired altitude, Hal grabbed his laptop and fired up one of the movies he had bought as a distraction. From there, there wasn’t much Hal could do other than wait for the flight to land.

~~~~

It had crossed Hal’s mind to carry his boyfriend over the threshold when they got to their new shared accommodations, but he figured that after a nerve wracking flight, Barry wouldn’t be too keen on being picked up.

The condo currently looked like only Hal lived there, Barry’s things still in boxes in the living room. The couch was draped with a few throw blankets, and the sliding glass door leading to the garden cast a square of waning sunlight on the hardwood floor.

“Do you wanna just order in?” Hal asked while Barry toed off his shoes.

“I guess.” Barry agreed, holding up his phone and waving it. “I just have to call Iris first and let her know I’m still alive.”

The blond hurried off towards the bedroom to call his adopted sister. Hal leaned against the counter of the kitchen and started looking up delivery services near them, mentally flagging a sushi joint and a mongolian grill that would deliver to them.

~~~~

The pair sat at their kitchen table, a banquet platter of sushi in the center of the table between them. Hal was almost completely mesmerized by the sunshine lighting up Barry’s blond hair and reflecting off his blue eyes while he looked out the window. The only thing distracting him from his boyfriend's perfection was his full plate.

“Do you not like the sushi?” Hal asked, snapping him out of his daze.

“No, no it’s good. I’m just not that hungry.” Barry explained, dragging his attention away from the window.

Hal froze, waiting for the punchline. Barry was always hungry, it was unheard of for him to turn down food unless he was really sick.

“Are you feeling alright?” Hal asked, looking him over.

“I’m fine.” Barry waved him off. “It’s just left over nerves from the flight and the move.”

He wasn’t fully convinced, but he let the subject drop. He knew Barry had really hated the flight, and had been anxious about it for a while, but he had also never heard of him getting stress sick. He pondered it while he finished his own meal, trailing Barry when he stood up and packaged the remainder of his sushi and what was left on the platter.

When the supper dishes were washed, dried, and put away, Hal wrapped his arms around Barry’s waist and pulled him until his back was pressed against his chest. The blond relaxed against him, shifting so they were swaying a little. Hal pressed a few kisses into Barry’s neck, feeling his pulse on his lips.

“Ya’know, we’re only a five minute walk from the beach. What do you say to walking down and watching the sunset?” He asked.

“Mmm, maybe tomorrow.” Barry hummed, “I just wanna go to sleep right now.”

Hal nodded, kissing Barry’s neck again and pushing them towards the bedroom. He was really looking forward to taking his boyfriend down to the shore and cuddling while they watched the sun sink into the sea, but he also knew Barry was tired. Plus, now that Barry lived here, they could do that anytime they wanted, the sun wasn’t going to leave anytime soon.

The pair brushed their teeth, changed into their pajamas, and crawled into bed. After some shifting and getting comfortable, they settled in with Barry resting his head and hand on Hal’s chest, tracing circles with his finger while Hal dozed off.

~~~~

Hal woke up in an empty bed, the other side of the mattress cold. For a moment, he forgot Barry had even moved in, but when he remembered, he got up and went in search of him. When he found him, the blond was stretched out on the couch, sleeping. Not really sure why his boyfriend was sleeping on the sofa when there was a perfectly comfortable bed in their room, Hal started making coffee.

Maybe Barry had woken up at night, been unable to get back to sleep, and had gone to the living room so he didn’t bother Hal. Perhaps he had gotten up to grab something, sat down for a moment, and fallen asleep. Or, Hal pondered, he was suffering from Jetlag, Missouri was in a different Timezone than California, so he might have just been following the routine his body was used to.

Not wanting to wake Barry up, he took his coffee out to the patio to watch the sunrise. It was a brisk morning and the cool air made Hal shiver as he stepped outside, while it made the hair on his arms stand up, Hal enjoyed it, it made his hot coffee feel that much more satisfying. After a half hour, he heard the sliding door open and felt Barry drape himself over Hal’s shoulder, kissing his cheek and playfully trying to steal his mug.  

“Good morning Handsome.” Barry mumbled.

Hal moved his cup out of his reach but he returned the kiss. He reached around and pulled Barry until he was sitting in his lap.

“Good morning.” He returned. “Why did you sleep on the couch?”

‘Mmm.” Barry hummed, “I got too hot.”

Hal was taken aback, their bedroom was one of the coolest rooms in the condo, aside from the bathroom. The rest of the condo was also air-conditioned, so overall, their home wasn’t overly hot, it didn’t make much sense that he would get overheated.

“You got too hot?” He clarified, making Barry nod.

“Yeah. I think it was just because you were pressed right up against me.” He explained. “It just got to be too much, so I went to crash on the couch.”

“...Okay.” Hal said slowly.

That wasn’t really unbelievable, he knew through previous relationships that he ran hot when he slept. If he and Barry had been cuddling while they slept, it was reasonable to state that Barry had really just gotten too hot and had gone somewhere cooler to sleep.

“Oh my god, how are you sitting out here?” Barry muttered, climbing off Hal’s lap and finding his own seat in the shade.

“What? Too cold?” Hal asked.

Barry sent him a look of disbelief, shaking his head.

“It’s fucking hot out here.” He moaned, pressing his palms into his eyes.

“Oh come on! It’s only, like, eighty-five degrees out here.” Hal acclaimed.

“That’s hot!” He cried.

Hal laughed, standing up with his mug in hand, going to get a refill of coffee and offering a cup to Barry.

“Whatever. Do you want a cup of caffeine?” He asked.

“Yes please.” Barry said.

Hal smiled while he went back inside, grabbing another mug out of the cupboard. He filled his own mug with coffee, adding a spoonful of sugar and a small splash of milk. He filled Barry’s with tea, adding two spoonfuls of sugar and a splash of French Vanilla Coffee Mate.

He had to use his ring to open the door again for himself, and behind him when he stepped through it. He set both mugs on the patio table, turning to his boyfriend to invite him over.

Barry looked a lot different than he had when Hal had left for the kitchen. He was sitting hunched over, with his hands clutching the sides of his head. Hal couldn’t see his face, but the back of his neck was flushed and his hands were shaky.

“Bear?” Hal asked, “Straw-Barry, are you okay?”

“Hmm?” The blond hummed.

“Are you okay?” Hal asked again.

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m good, just a little warm.” He muttered.

He stood up on wobbly legs, creeping over like a newborn fawn to the patio table for his tea. Hal watched him while he took a sip, he could now see that he was incredibly red in the face and he looked unfocused.

“I’m going to get you a glass of water.”Hal said, hurrying to the kitchen.

He had just filled the glass from the dispenser when he heard a heart-wrenching thud from outside. Slamming the cup down on the counter, he rushed to the patio door.

Barry was huddled on the floor, clearly having fallen. Hal threw the door open and rushed to his side, kneeling beside him to check on him. Barry was, blessedly, breathing, and there was no blood around him. While he was checking him over, Barry’s eyes fluttered under the lids and he started tilting his head and moaning.

Having lived in California for the majority of his life, Hal quickly recognized the signs of heat exhaustion in his boyfriend. Cradling him carefully, Hal lifted him up and carried him inside. When he laid him on the couch, Barry’s eyes had opened and he was looking around, confused. Hal pushed him down when he tried to sit up, wiping his sweat-soaked forehead with his hand.

“Stay here, I’m going to go get some water for you.” Hal ordered.

He retrieved the half-full glass from the counter, folding a clean tea towel and throwing it into the freezer. He rushed back to the sofa, wrapping an arm under his shoulder, helping him to sit up and take a sip of the cool water.

He made Barry slowly sip down the half glass of water, leaving briefly to refill it and swipe the now cool towel from the freezer. He folded the towel and placed it on Barry’s forehead, having him sip down some more water. By now, he was confident that Barry could sit up by himself, Hal left for the bathroom to draw a cool bath.

He only filled the tub up halfway, swishing his hand around in it to make sure that the temperature wasn’t too cold to handle. He went back to the living room, grabbing Barry under the arms and hoisting him to his feet, assisting him to the bathroom. He helped Barry peel his sweat soaked sleep shirt off, tugging his pajama pants down and step out of them.

He had Barry sit in the tub, sloshing the water to make it wash over the parts of his skin not in the bath. Hal could feel Barry’s skin start to cool down under his hands and he stopped shivering.

“Thank you.” Barry whispered.

“Of course.” Hal replied, handing him a towel as he climbed out of the tub.

Convinced that Barry wasn’t about to fall down without Hal there to hold him up, he went to the living room to tidy up. He brought the coffee mugs in from the patio, placing them on the coffee table to come back for them later. Even though their condo was cool enough inside, Hal turned up the AC and shut the blinds so Barry could come back to the living room and rest.

When all that was said and done, Hal hurried back to their bed room for something to give to Barry to wear. Given that most of his things were still packed in boxes, the quickest things on hand were what he had brought in his suitcase, which wasn’t much at all. If it had been solely his decision, he would just have the blond be naked, but Barry was far too modest for his own good so Hal grabbed a clean pair of boxers and took them to the bathroom.

His boyfriend was much the same as when he had left him, wrapped in a towel and sitting on the closed toilet lid with his head down, he looked positively miserable. Slowing his movements down so he didn’t overwhelm him, Hal carefully took Barry’s chin between his thumb and pointer finger, tilting his head up until Barry was looking at him. He looked even more dejected once Hal could see his face, his mouth was set in a sad pout, his eyes were glistening with tears, and his cheeks were still tinted pink in a feverish way and it made Hal’s heart twist.

“Hey Beautiful.” Hal whispered, “How’re ya feeling?”

Barry sniffled quietly and wiped the back of his hand under his nose.

“Better.”

His voice was still soft and weak, that one word sounding like he had put his entire heart and soul into saying it outloud.

“Okay, I brought you something to put on, and then maybe we can go watch some of that new Star Trek series you like, how does that sound?” Hal asked.

In response, the pilot got a small nod and a shaky smile, a fleeting thing that looked like it took all of Barry’s energy just to produce.

“Okay, hang tight Love.”

As he went to help Barry stand, he noticed that he was still wet from the bath. Not soaked, but not dry enough to comfortably sit and watch T.V. Hal knew he needed to fix that before he could get Barry somewhere more comfortable, so he slid an arm under his armpits and lifted him up, he used his free hand to pat Barry dry with the towel, employing all the tenderness usually reserved for newborn kittens.

When he was dried off, Hal made him grab onto his shoulders so he could keep himself upright while he knelt to help Barry step into his boxers. Tugging Barry into a hug, Hal rubbed his back and ran his fingers through his sweaty hair. He had already made the decision that Barry wasn’t walking anywhere for a while, not even to the couch, so he hoisted him up and started walking to the living room with Barry’s perfect nose tucked into his neck.

He sat down on the couch with Barry in his lap, grabbing the remote with his power ring so he could queue up an episode of Star Trek for them to watch. As soon as he heard the intro, Barry shifted and climbed off him, getting comfy beside him with his head resting against his shoulder. Hal wrapped an arm around his bare shoulders and gave him a kiss on the crown.

“Doin alright?” He whispered.

“Yeah, sorry about that. It never gets that hot in Missouri and it shocked me.” Barry whispered back, “Don’t worry, I’ll be fine. I just need some time to adjust.”

That made sense, in Hal's mind at least. Barry had been born and raised in the midwest, he had grown up with snow storms and sweaters, hot drinks and winter boots. Even in the summer, it had probably never gotten as hot as it currently was outside, so Barry had no natural defenses to the heat yet. Fortunately, Hal knew that the man was strong as hell, given time to adjust to the climate, things would get better.

~~~~

Six weeks later, things had not gotten better, in fact, they had gotten far worse. Contrary to Barry’s claim that he would adjust with time, he hadn’t, and Hal was stuck watching him get sicker and sicker.

While at first they could be brushed off, the changes were now impossible to ignore. While he had always been skinny, Barry had also been strong as well, now he was frail and weak. He was shaking constantly, not with passion or pent up energy but like he could topple over at any minute, and he was always exhausted. Given how sick he actually was from the heat, he could rarely sleep and never was in bed with Hal, always on the couch, alone.

Because of how hot he was all the time, he had started to avoid any physical contact of any kind, the closest he could get without feeling like he was burning was to brush his hands against his boyfriends, on a good day, they would hold hands, but those were becoming farther and farther between. Hal suspected that the lack of affection was hurting Barry more than anything else, given that he had always been touchy, even before they were dating. To add salt to the wound, he could barely be the Flash anymore. He could hardly walk in the California heat, running was out of the question, and given that he couldn’t stand without trembling, he was no longer fit for duty.

Of course, when Hal had asked him about it, Barry had painted on a fake smile and played the optimist. He was still insisting that he would get better, he just needed to get himself sorted out, that everything would work itself out, just like he had said a month and a half prior. But Hal wasn’t so convinced anymore, Barry had lost a lot of weight and his clothes were starting to hang off him in ways they hadn’t before, and he was miserable.

Though he tried to hide it, Hal knew, he could see that the plastic smile Barry put on was getting harder to maintain, he could hear him crying quietly to himself when he was alone in the shower or on the couch at night and his voice sounded wobbly whenever he spoke to his sister or dad over the phone about his new residence. He suspected that the only reason Barry hadn’t voiced how awful he felt was because Hal had pushed California hard, bringing up the benefits of living in a blue state in a blue city, with all the perks that brought to them, he didn’t doubt that Barry was keeping silent because he thought it would make Hal happy.

Hal couldn’t stand to see Barry so miserable, he knew he needed to act fast or there could be irreversible damage done to his physical and mental well being. Which brought him to the present, in a crowded bar, stuffed into a corner booth with Oliver and Guy. He had sent them both an SOS text, briefly explaining the situation and begging them to meet up with him to give him advice, and here they were.

“So,” Guy drawled, “What didja fuck up this time?”

Normally, Hal would have been frustrated with Guy’s blunt ‘never beat around the bush’ conversation style, but tonight he was grateful for it. He felt like he was running out of time, or like water was slipping through his fingers.

“Barry’s sick. Really sick.” Hal answered, “He’s been sick for a while and I don’t know what to do.”

“From the heat, right?” Ollie piped up.

Hal frowned, looking at his best friend quizzically. He hadn’t told them everything over the text he had sent and Barry didn’t really like Oliver, so he wasn’t sure how he knew what was making Barry sick. Ollie picked up on his confusion, and answered the unasked question.

“Dinah and Barry talk a lot, she told me that he’s been suffering from the heat.”

“Whatever.” Guy grumbled, waving the archer off. “Why did you ask us here?”

“Because I need advice! I don’t know what to do, Barry’s gotten so sick recently that I’m scared to leave him by himself, his powers are acting up, and he’s so depressed!” Hal rushed out, “I don’t know what to do, he’s suffering and I can’t do anything.”

“Yeah, right.” Guy scoffed, taking a sip of his drink.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Ollie snapped, angry on Hal’s behalf.

Guy rolled his eyes, looking at the pair like they were idiots. When it was clear that they really weren’t on the same page, he scoffed again and shifted to glare at them while he lectured.

“You can do something, you moron, you can take him home. He’s obviously not cut out for the desert heat, whatever, he gave it the ol’ college try. He’s made sacrifices for you by coming all the way out here and leaving his family behind, now it’s time for you to grow a pair and do the same for him.”

“I- I don’t know if that would work Gardener.” Hal attempted.

“Whatdaya mean ‘it wouldn’t work’?” Guy spat, “Listen you dumb fuck, you don’t deserve Barry, he is too good for you. I know it, you know it, this blond moron knows it, everyone who has ever met the pair of you knows it. The only one who hasn’t figured out that Barry deserves better than you is Barry, so for the love of God man, you need to keep him from figuring it out!

“He loves you! For reasons I cannot understand, he loves you and you know it. That’s why you pushed so hard to bring him here, even when he had the most to leave behind. You know Barry would jump through hoops for you, so you had him move to the middle of the fucken desert.”

“Hey, he wanted to come!” Hal defended.

“No he fucking didn’t, he wanted to be with you! He doesn’t care about California, he cares about you and he’s scared you’re going to pull the same disappearing act on him that you’ve pulled on every other poor bastard you’ve dated so he moved to keep you happy.” Guy snarled.

“I wouldn’t just ditch Barry!” Hal snapped, responding with equal hostility. “I’m more than willing to admit that I’ve done some pretty shitty things and put some people through hell, but I’m in therapy, I started sorting through those issues before Barry and I became an item!”

“Then why did you drag him out here? You have no friends here, the only family you’ve got, you don’t talk to, at best you’ve got Coast Uni, but you’ve been done school for years now. From every standpoint, it would have made more sense for you to move to Central, Barry has his sister and his Dad, he’s exclusive to Central unless he’s with the league, you just fuck off across the galaxy!” Guy argued, “But you begged him to come to your home city because you’re a prideful son of a bitch who's watching the man he loves decay in front of him, and you know how to fix it but you won’t, for reasons I don’t think even you understand!”

Hal sputtered, grampling for any defense for himself. He knew he must have looked like a fish out of water, and he knew he didn’t have a defence for himself. Barry was a people-pleaser, always had been and Hal knew it, he had known that Barry would come to California and now he was staying even though it was killing him.

“Look man, for what it’s worth, I know you didn’t plan on hurting Barry, I know that he’s pretty much the only reason you’re a half-functional human being.” Guy offered, “And listen, you can fix this! If you go and say that you want to take him back to Central, you’ll be his personal hero, his sister will be relieved that he’s back, he’ll be able to see his dad again. Fuck, in ten years when you two have your two point five kids, a dog, and a picket fence, this can just be a really funny story.”

Hal nodded, knowing that Guy was right. He was either going to take Barry somewhere with a more accommodating climate for him, or he was going to lose him, either because he got so sick that he could not recover or because their relationship would fall apart from the stress. He had come to these men for advice, it was obvious what that advice was, so now he needed to figure out the practical end; how he was going to get Barry back home.

His boyfriend was stubborn, so much so that he was surprised that he didn’t have a Green Lantern ring of his own, admitting that he was struggling was hard for him. Still, Barry was getting sick, his powers were acting up, and he needed to be back in a climate he was accustomed to. Of course, that wouldn’t be easy, they would have to break their lease and find a new place in Central because Barry had gotten rid of his, not only that, but Barry would need to get his job back at the CCPD. None of that would be easy, but he hoped that it wouldn’t be too hard. He would talk to Bruce and Iris later, see if either of them could help him out in some way, but for the moment, he bid his friends adieu, paid his tab, and headed home to Barry.

~~~~

The blond was sleeping on the couch when Hal got home, his arm dangling over the side and a throw pillow under his head. The guilt Hal had felt earlier tripled while he looked over his sleeping boyfriend, dressed in a tank top he’d stolen from Hal and a pair of boxers. He didn’t look completely comfortable, just slightly more at peace while he slept.

Even though it was even later in Gotham than it was here, Hal knew he needed to start putting his plan in action sooner rather than later. First, He gently lifted Barry up off the couch and carried him to the bed, pulling back the covers with his ring and laying the forensic scientist on the mattress. Then he went back to the living room, stepped out onto the balcony and called Bruce.

“What do you want?” Bruce asked, picking up after the first ring.

“I fucked up.” Hal admitted, careful to keep his voice down.

There was silence on the other line for a moment, dragging on for so long that Hal checked to make sure he hadn’t been hung up on.

“So?” Bruce asked, “That isn’t new for you.”

God, Hal hated his boyfriends best friend sometimes. Bruce had gotten along with Barry from the start but had hated Hal since the first second they met. While he and Barry had grown closer, Bruce had hated him more, rolling his eyes and being slightly cheeky to him whenever they had to speak. When he had started dating Barry, he had called a truce with the Dark Knight of Gotham for his boyfriends sake, but he doubted that they would ever get along. Still, Hal needed his help.

“I know but this is worse than usual.” He confessed, “Barry’s getting sick, he can’t handle the heat. I want to get him back to Missouri before he gets worse but I need help, I need to convince him to move again and I was hoping you would have some advice.”

There was silence on the other end again, making Hal feel even worse about himself. He had prepared himself for some gloating, knowing that Bruce would probably rub it in his face that he didn’t deserve Barry.

“I wondered if that would happen.”

There was the silence broken, and Hal braced for the verbal dress-down.

“He’s what I can do. I need a safe house in California and I have too many in Missouri.” Bruce began, “I can sell you and Barry one of the houses in exchange for you subletting your condo to me so I can see if I want to buy it.”

That… Was very generous. Incredibly generous and far more than Hal had been expecting.

“That’s… That’s amazing Bruce.” He stammered, “I cannot thank you enough. How much do you want for the house?”

“For anyone else, I wouldn’t go less than three hundred thousand. But, it needs some work done, I haven’t updated that interior since I bought it, and it looks like something out of the nineties.” Bruce said slowly, “And someone was murdered in it before I bought it, which really decreased the value, so I’ll give it to you for one hundred thousand.”

Alright, knowing someone was killed in the house was weird and he could see why it would decrease the value. But a house they owned would be far better than an apartment they could rent, they could redecorate and make renovations, and it was far more private than an apartment building, which was good for their alter-egos.

“Bruce, I cannot thank you enough. I need to talk to Barry about this, but thank you so, so much.” Hal thanked, mentally adding ‘get Bruce a muffin basket’ to his to-do list.

“Just, don’t kill Barry.” Bruce muttered, “A guy like me only gets one best friend in life, and when he’s gone, I don’t get a new one.”

That was sweet, though Hal would never admit it. Apparently Bruce did have a soul, or at the very least, he had borrowed it back from Satan for this phone call exclusively.

“I’ll keep him alive.” He promised, “Have a nice night Bruce.”

He didn’t get a response, just a dial tone as Bruce hung up. He would normally mumble about his lack of manners, but tonight he could only inwardly rejoice while he went back inside. His phone buzzed in his hand, Bruce having sent him a link to view the house, which he emailed to himself so he could show Barry in the morning.

Hal took a quick shower, got into pajamas, kissed Barry on the forehead, and went back to the living room to sleep on the couch. He shifted around for a while to get comfortable, which wasn’t easy on the small sofa, he eventually managed it, willing himself to fall asleep.

~~~~

Hal woke up with a kink in his neck and a sore back but a good feeling in his heart. He hurried through making coffee, logging onto his laptop while he waited for it to brew. As soon as the computer was awake, Hal pulled up his email and clicked on the link leading to pictures of the house Bruce had offered.

It was a nice house, two levels and a basement, lots of windows, a large kitchen/living room/dining room area. There were two bedrooms, the master bedroom, which had an attached bathroom and a spacious walk-in closet, and a smaller room that they could use for a guest room and home office. There was another bathroom across from the smaller bedroom, decked out with a bath/shower, toilet, and a sink with lots of cabinet space under it. And of course, the basement, but it wasn’t finished, it did have a washer and dryer down there though.

The backyard was also nice, the back deck obviously needed some work but it was nice enough. The yard was fenced with a wooden plank wall, attaching to the house with a gate on one side. It was nicer than Hal could have ever hoped for and he hoped Barry would see it the same way. He checked the neighbourhood it was in and saw that it was pretty nice, located close to a library and a community center, with a grocery plaza not even fifteen minutes drive away. It would be an amazing spot for them to live in, and it would be better to own a home than to rent one, now he just needed to wait for Barry to wake up to talk to him about it.

~~~

An hour and a half later, a very sleepy Barry Allen dragged himself into the kitchen. He was still in the clothes he’d been in when Hal had put him to sleep, the stolen tank top and his boxers, his hair was a fly away mess, and his eyes were still cloudy from sleep. It was better rested than he had looked in weeks, not healthy, by a country mile, but it was better nonetheless. His boyfriend shuffled in and rested his head against Hal’s shoulder, linking their fingers together and squeezing his hand. That had been a pretty standard display of affection between them for the majority of their time in California, it was intimate but not so touchy that it was too hot for Barry.

‘Good morning Beautiful.” Hal greeted, kissing him on the head.

“Morning Handsome.” Barry mumbled.

The blond pulled away and set about making himself tea, pouring boiling water into a mug, adding a tea bag, and then poking it with a spoon to make it brew faster. Hal stared, leaning against the counter, watching while his boyfriend moved around the kitchen, making his drink. When Barry bent over to reach the creamer in the fridge, he couldn’t stop himself from ogling his perfect ass.

“You put me in the bed last night.” Barry said, standing up with the creamer in hand.

“I did.” Hal confirmed, taking a sip of his coffee.

“Why?”

Hal sighed into his coffee and put the mug down. He turned to Barry while he added sugar and creamer to his tea.

“Because you’ve been bending over backwards to accommodate me and I haven’t been taking care of you like I should be.” He answered.

“You’ve been taking care of me.” Barry protested, frowning.

“Not like I should have been, not like you deserve.” Hal said.

Barry scowled and crossed his arms, glaring at his tea cup.

“I’m not some helpless baby, I don’t need someone taking care of me.” He muttered, “I’m fine.”

“You are not fine!” Hal snapped, “You’ve been sick for weeks, that is not fine!”

Barry flinched at his tone, his eyes welling up with tears and he closed his eyes against them. He swallowed hard around a lump in his throat and tried to compose himself enough to talk but he wasn’t having much success. Hal noticed he’d been too harsh and cursed in his head, making Barry defensive and weepy wasn’t the right way to start the conversation they needed to have.

“I’m sorry, I don’t mean to sound cross.” He apologized, sweeping a hand through his hair. “Shit, Bear I’m sorry. Just, come sit down with me, we need to have a talk.”

Hal took his coffee and brought it over to his laptop on the coffee table, putting his mug down on a coaster and sitting on the couch. Barry stayed in the kitchen for a moment, putting away the sugar and creamer, stirring his tea, and then following Hal to the living room and sitting down on the sofa. He didn’t put his mug down, he held it tightly in both hands with it sitting on his thigh, he wasn’t looking at Hal but he was close enough for a heartfelt conversation and that’s what he wanted, so Hal just started talking.

“So listen, I know that California hasn’t been your cup of tea. I can see you’re sick and I know it’s from the heat.” Hal began.

“If you’re going to break up with me, just do it already, don’t drag it out!” Barry snapped in a teary voice.

Hal paused and mentally reset. Break up? He didn’t want to break up with Barry! He loved Barry!

“Break up? Babe, no no no, I don’t want to break up with you!” He said in a rush. “I love you! I want to spend the rest of my life with you! I don’t want to break up!”

“Well then what do you want?” Barry sobbed, wiping his eyes.

Hal bundled Barry into a quick hug, nothing so long that he would feel too hot, but long enough to be reassuring for him. Barry returned in with one arm, the tears coming hot and fast from both of them. When they broke apart, Hal started to explain what he had discussed with Bruce.

“Straw-Barry, I want to take you home. Back to Central.” Hal explained, “You’re obviously sick, and you’re not getting better.”

“I’m trying!” Barry interrupted, crying hard. “I’m trying to get better, I’m trying to get used to the heat!”

“I know you are! I know that, but Barry, you’re hurting. Badly. Listen, I talked to Bruce last night, he has a safe house in Central he doesn’t want anymore that he’d be willing to sell to us.” He said, “I think we should take it and move you home.”

“But you love Coast City.” Barry protested.

“Not as much as I love you! I don’t care if this damn city burns, as long as you’re safe by my side.” Hal promised, “And right now you’re not safe.”

Barry sniffled, wiping his eyes one at a time, left then right.

“But it’s cold in Central and you hate the cold.” He pointed out.

“I do, I do hate the cold. But I’ll get some warm sweaters, and start drinking hot chocolate, and I have my space heater of a boyfriend to cuddle with. I can put on more clothes to stay warm, you can’t really get any more exposed than naked to stay cool here. Not that I’d have a problem if you want to go around naked all the time.” Hal joked to lighten the mood.

The joke landed and Barry laughed, no fresh tears being shed anymore. He leaned in close and rested his forehead against Hal’s collarbone for a second, then shifted to the back of the couch.

“You’d really come back to Central with me?” He asked, looking up at Hal with big blue eyes that made him melt.

“I would follow you anywhere you go.” Hal whispered.

Both men rested against the sofa, looking at each other with affection. Pushing through his heat exhaustion, Barry reached over and took Hal’s hand, giving it a squeeze.

“Show me this house you and Bruce talked about.” He requested.

“Of course!” Hal agreed, reaching for his laptop.

They spent the morning like that, settled on the couch with the laptop open to the pictures of the house. Hal grabbed a notepad and a pen, both of them discussing paint colours for the rooms, upgrades for the kitchen appliances, and what they wanted to do with the garden. At some point, Barry ordered Uber Eats from Mcdonalds for their breakfast and some drinks from Starbucks, a sugary coffee for Hal and an elaborate iced tea for himself. For the first time in weeks, Barry looked truly hopeful.

~~~~

A month later, Hal woke up in their shared bed in their new house. Barry was cuddled into his side, giving off plenty of warmth to keep them comfortable. From the windows, the early morning sunlight reflected off of the snow and into the couples room.

They had moved all of their things from California to Missouri three weeks prior. They had been greeted by Barry’s joyful adopted family, who had helped them get home from the airport and unpack. Later, they had come over to help with renovations to the house, repainting rooms, setting up appliances and furniture, and cleaning up afterwards, then they had all had pizza and wings together and spent the night laughing and joking together.

Barry had gotten better, his colour was better, he had gained weight, he was bouncy and energetic, able to be The Flash again, and he was smiling. Real smiles this time, not fake, plastic smiles to gloss over how much he was hurting. The couple was able to touch each other again without Barry getting sick, and Hal rejoiced at having their sex life back on track after nearly two months of it being nonexistent.

As for Hal, he had been adjusting to the Missouri winter. He had gotten a heavy winter coat and snow pants, a pair of winter boots, and a set of hat and gloves to wear outside. He and Barry had gone and gotten him winter clothes from the mall, so he wouldn’t be cold when they were hanging out in the house. Barry had also gotten him some heat packs for his boots and gloves to wear when he went outside, which was the best gift he had ever received.

He found that he really liked the snowy winter. He and Barry had made some snowmen in their backyard one Sunday afternoon, then they had made a snow fort and had a snowball fight. Hal really liked watching the snow come down, especially when it was twilight and the streetlights had just come on. He could spend hours in the armchair in front of the window, Barry cuddling with his legs over his lap, each with a cup of hot chocolate, just watching the snow come down.

In his sleep, Barry shifted and hummed, drawing Hal’s attention back to him. The blond was in a warm pair of striped pajamas, with the blankets tucked up to his chin. Hal settled back into bed, wrapping his arms around Barry to leech off his body heat. He would have plenty of time to admire the snow later, for now, he was just going to cuddle.    

[shipersanonymous]

One Hit West

Chapter 7

Author’s Note

Ok so like its late (I’m sorry) but its here, I pray its not underwhelming. Its quite a nasty cliffhanger so I’m sorry about that.  And now I’ll leave you to it.

xoxo

…………………...

“Welcome home honey.” Barry says as he looks at her over his shoulder. She smiles sweetly, relieved to be back home. Where she belongs.

She walks over to Barry who tilts his head up to give her full access to his waiting lips. She leans over and pecks him, her high pony falling to the side. On his lap, Nora closes her eyes behind her toddler fingers and chuckles as she says:

“Ewwwww.”

The two can’t help but laugh and turn their attention onto her with mischievous (yet loved filled – always love filled) eyes.

“What’s so funny little missy?” Iris asks and Nora shyly replies:

“Noooottthhhiiinnnggg?”

“Mm I don’t know mama bear. I don’t think this cute little cub is telling the truth.” Barry plays along.

“I think you’re right papa bear. What should we do with her?”

Barry pretends to think really hard then answers:

“I think… we should… TICKLE IT OUT OF HER!”

“Daddy no!” Nora yells in-between laughs as both her parents attack her with tickles, filling the house with their favourite sound, the sound of her laughter.

That’s the scene Iris has dreamed about for years. Coming home to Barry and Nora, hearing her baby laugh, hearing her call him “daddy”, parenting with the man she loves.

“Mommy, you’re home!” Nora yells excitedly and the look of dissapointment in Barry’s eyes slams Iris right back into her reality. The two people looking back at her have no idea of the secret she carries.

And she plans to keep it that way.

At least until she’s sure she can trust him.

Barry stands, carrying Nora in his arms and Iris’s heart skips a beat when Nora leans her head into his shoulder and smiles.

“Thank you mommy.” She says and Iris smiles, trying to hide the hurricane of emotions rattling through her.

Confusion.

Relief.

Anxiety.

Happiness.

All of them rambling into each other inside her like waves during a storm.

“Thank you for what baby?” she asks.

“For my birthday present! I get to call Barry Allen, uncle Barry!”

Barry chuckles.

“Am I the best birthday present ever?” he asks her with squinted eyes and she nods with a bright smile on her face.

“Prove it,” he challenges.

“How?” she asks, her little eyes widening behind her glasses.

“Mmmm…give me a kiss.” Barry answers, turning his cheek towards her. Nora pecks her father without hesitation and Barry closes his eyes dramatically.

“You know what?”

“What?”

“That was the best kiss I’ve ever gotten.” He says and she chuckles.

“What you don’t believe me? I’ll prove it.” he says and plants a kiss on her cheek.

“Do you believe me now?” he asks and plants one on her other cheek.

“How bout now?” this one is on her forehead.

Each kiss sparks another round of laughter from the little girl and Iris’s heart warms up, it’s been a while since she last saw her daughter this happy and care free. For a moment, a split second, Iris considers giving in. She considers telling him the truth. She considers apologising and making her family work.

Then flashes of her baby boy’s innocent little face breeze through her mind and her broken heart cries louder.

She can’t give in.

“Alright baby, come on. Time to go home.” She says with a smile.

“Awwww. But you just got here. Plus, uncle Barry and I…” Nora stops mid sentence and the blank look in her eyes sends Iris into autopilot.

“Barry, lay her down. Keep her head raised.”

No sooner had she finished giving the instruction, Nora’s eyes rolled back and she began to convulse. To Iris’s surprise Barry was calm in that moment he laid Nora down on her side and kept her head up.

“Aren’t you gonna call 911?” he asks when he notices that she’s simply still, looking down as their daughter seizes. Iris doesn’t answer, she simply kneels down in front of him and watches.

Her heart constricts and her eyes fill with tears that she struggles with all her might to hold back. She can’t call the hospital, not without risking exposing her daughter. All she can do is watch and helplessly wait for Nora’s fit to end.

In these moments, she feels like a complete failure. A mother powerless to help her child. Without the ability to take her baby’s pain away. It shatters her, and still all she can do is watch.

[Barry]

He’s never seen her look so defeated.

As he leans against the wall next to Nora’s bedroom door, Barry can’t shake the depression he saw in her eyes. He’s never seen her stare look so hopeless.

The ruffling of sheets sparks his attention and he stands back up and peers into the room. Iris leans in and gives their daughter a kiss on the head. After the seizure, Nora passed out and Iris, almost as if possessed, picked her up out of Barry’s arms and took her to her bedroom. She’s been in there for almost half an hour and every so often a sigh of exhaustion echo’s from inside the dark room.

Barry’s heart hurts. This seems almost routine. How long has it been going on for? Has she had to endure all this on her own?

As unbelievable as it may be, a wave of guilt flows through him. He should have been there to help her in moments like these. Maybe she wouldn’t have been so tired. Maybe the pained look of helplessness wouldn’t have tainted her eyes like it had just a few moments ago. If only he’d been there to bare the load with her.

If only he knew.

Iris walks out of the room looking as lifeless as she had when she walked in with their daughter in her arms. She’s about to walk past him without so much as nod in his direction when Barry holds onto her upper arm, stopping her in her tracks.

“Can we talk?” he asks, concerned about her state of mind.

“She’s not yours Barry.” She says simply, like a sleepwalker trapped in a dream.

He stops short, her denial only conforming his suspicions. He let’s out an incredulous breath.

“That just told me that she is.”

Iris turns to him annoyed, her exhaustion clear in her sigh.

“Barry, just stop…”

“No Iris. You stop it. Stop lying to me. You know how you gave yourself away? When I said let’s talk, I wanted to know if you’re OK cause our daughter just had a seizure and you looked like someone hit you in the gut with car. Your automatic assumption that I’d want to confront you about whether or not she’s mine, tells me that you’re trying to keep up a lie.”

Iris looks up at him startled, like a deer caught in headlights and Barry feels his heart beat out a painful note. It is true.

Nora is his daughter.

She has to be.

He decides to push his luck in hopes that she’ll break and tell him the truth.

“After the day I spent with her, I wouldn’t even need a DNA test to know that I’m her father Iris. She’s an exact replica of the both of us. Physically, mentally, emotionally. I saw you in her smile, her kindness, her sense of humour. I saw me in her eyes, her mind, her incredible ability to dream. I felt a connection with her Iris, something I can’t explain. So you can lie to me all you want. I know she’s mine.”

“She’s…not,” Iris persists with her lie, swallowing down the tears he can see in her eyes. Barry struggles to hold back his own tears as he whispers:

“Then why did you name her Nora?”

Iris’s eyes widen and for the second time in the span of five minutes she looks like someone who’s been caught red handed.

“Why Iris? Why did you name your daughter after my mother if she’s not mine? The math adds up, her features and personality are like neon signs and she has my mother’s name, do you really expect me to believe she’s not my daughter? Our daughter? After all that?”

Her eyes meet his with a plea and he softens his attack.

“I’m sorry I…”

Before he can finish talking she turns around and speed walks into her room, slamming the door behind her. Barry stares at the empty hallway uncertain how to feel. Iris’s behaviour seemed to have given him the confirmation he wanted.

She’s mine.

She has to be mine.

So why does he feel so broken?

[Iris]

She flops onto her bed expressionless and a split second later, tears stream down her face. It’s been a while since her last cry but she can’t help it.

He knows. He can’t know!

She feels like a double failure. First she couldn’t help her daughter with her seizure and now she can’t protect her either. She feels a scream bubbling up the back of her throat and hides her face in a pillow to let it out. She wants to choke on the sound. She wants the pillow to strangle the air out of her and just take her away.

Nora.

Her baby’s name pops into her head and suddenly she remembers what’s kept her going all these years. Despite the trauma and the heartache and the difficulties. Her baby’s smile, her laugh, the warmth of her hug. All that and more are like fuel to Iris. They keep her going further.

So the thought of having her baby snatched away from her….

The tears stream down her cheeks with increased vigour and the sobs that shake through her become more violent. She clutches at her heart as the familiar sting of loss pierces through her. Iris drops onto her side and curls into the fetal position.

Can I please just wake up from this nightmare.

She begs in her mind as her cries lull her to sleep. Exhausted, her eyes droop closed and she drifts off, hiccupping silently…

The alarm rang and she opened her sleep heavy eyes, blinking away the slight sting of exhaustion. As her body slowly woke up, the aches and pains worked their way through her limbs. The creaky old couch she’d been using as a bed squealed in protest as she got up and tried to work some of the stiffness from her neck.

Then the nausea hit.

Her eyes shot open and Iris ran to the bathroom with her hand firmly pressed over her mouth.

Morning sickness was a bitch.

Out of breath and partially shaky, she flushed out last nights dinner and made her way back to the staff break room (that she’s been using as a bedroom) to get her tooth brush from her suitcase. She was only on her second month and not really sure how much more of this morning routine she could handle. Sleeping on an old couch was miserable enough without the sudden sprints to the bathroom at six in the morning.

With her teeth brushed, she then used a face towel and a small bucket of lukewarm water to freshen up as best as she could before heading out to open the café. As she made herself busy, cleaning out the coffee machine, the bell above the door rang and she turned around, expecting to see her colleagues but was met instead with the suspicious sight of four men in suits and sunglasses.

Being the daughter of a (then) cop, being skilled at detecting danger was basically a calling and all her inner buzzers were going off.

“I’m sorry gentleman but we’re not open yet.” She explains but that bit of information is received as invalid.

Three of the men formed a straight line and the fourth, supposedly the leader, stepped forward.

“Iris West?” he asked and for a minute she was hesitant to answer but saw no way out so decided to buy herself some time.

“Who’s asking?” she tried on her bravest tone, praying to God that someone would walk in and interrupt this unwanted meeting. In her mind all she can think about is keeping her babies safe.

“You need to come with us.” He says taking a step forward and she takes a step back, despite the counter between them.

“And why is that?”

“That’s classified information.”

She let’s out a nervous chuckle.

“Considering you want me to leave my work place during my shift with four complete strangers, I think the least you can do is tell me why.”

“I’m sorry Ms West but my orders were clear. Now you can cooperate or we can force you to cooperate. Either way, you’re leaving with us.”

The men began to approach and she held out her hands to halt them.

“OK, OK. I’ll go. Just let me get my stuff ready.” She succumbed and they stopped in their tracks and gave her room to walk and get to her room in the back. Surprisingly enough, neither of them followed her in.

Idiots.

She thought as she made her way to the bathroom and forced the miniscule window opened. It was wide enough for her to slip out of so she used all her strength to climb out of it into freedom.

She landed in an empty alley behind the building with a soft thump and bent knees. A quick glance around told her she was clear and that’s when she made a break for it, running as fast her legs would let her.

But she didn’t make it very far.

Strong hands pulled her into stronger arms just as she stepped out of the alley into the street. Her mouth and nose were covered before she could scream and she felt a sting on her neck just before she slipped out of consciousness.

Needles.

IV drips.

Chemicals.

Pain.

Needles.

IV drips.

Chemicals.

Pain.

Needles.

IV….

A familiar face.

She screams.

[Barry]

He stands frozen in the hallway for what feels like an eternity and as reality begins to sink in he turns his head towards Nora’s bedroom.

He’s a father. He’s been a father for the past five years and he didn’t know it.

The shame, the betrayal, the fear of what his little girl might think about him all cut through him like a knife. Who does she think he is? What does she think happened? What does she think is the reason why he hasn’t been with her and her mother all this time?

He takes shaky breaths as he walks towards her room. Slow steps that contrast against his rapid beating heart. At the door, he hesitates. Going in feels like crossing a life changing barrier into a whole new world of experiences.

Barry wants to go in but something holds him back. Doubt. He can feel it in his heart and in his mind he knows that she is his daughter. Yet he can’t trust his own instincts because the last time he was led by intuition he got his heart broken. The memory of that pain, of losing the woman he loved (loves), plants a seedling of fear in his confident heart.

He could never survive losing Nora. Not after forming a bond with her and seeing her as a daughter. That’s a pain that might destroy him once and for all.

Despite the uncertainty and the possibility of heartbreak, his hand still itches to caress her to sleep. His arms still want to hold her and protect her. His heart still wants to hear her call him “dad”.

Deciding to take that leap, he pushes his fears aside and decides to take that leap. Even if she turns out not to be his, even if he loses more than he gains, even if he’ll never see her again after this, he wants to at least try.

He wants to believe for five minutes that the incredible little girl he spent the day with is half of him and half of his soul mate. Even if it only lasts a second, he wants to look at her with a father’s eyes and claim responsibility for her existence.

He wants a taste of paternal pride, no matter how selfish that wish may be.

As he’s about to take that leap, his heart stops, his hairs stand on end, his eyes widen, his blood freezes and his breath gets caught in his throat.

[writesandfights]

#97 “don’t touch me” JJ x Reader, where reader got raped by Barry and Rafe at a kegger, she hasn’t told JJ but he knows she’s been acting different. When JJ tries to be sexual she snaps at him and breaks down.

PROMPT # : 97

WORD COUNT: 1911

WARNINGS: RAPE MENTIONS

PAIRING: JJ X READER

PAROXYSM

The thought never left you, that feeling kept your head to the ground no matter what happened. You couldn't scrub away what happened, no matter how hard you used the sponge the feelings wouldn’t leave, they were still there. You stood in the mirror looking to your body as you couldn’t erase it, it was not gonna be going anywhere. There were bruises on your wrist, they were in the shapes of hands, a bright purple that didn’t seem to fade no matter how long or how much foundation you put on, which was a lot.

You tried to make sure JJ didn’t see them , he would panic and that made you nervous, he would kill Barry and Rafe without even thinking twice, using the little gun he had gotten. You rubbed at the bruises but the pain was no longer there anymore , you pushed it down and hoped to keep it there. There were marks spreading all up and down your chest, having been when they were gonna hold you down and force you to be silent. They had used their strength over you, pushing you down into the sand bed behind a large pile of trees and kept you silenced when they committed the deed, the familiar sound of the buttons on the pants along with the breathing into the side of your chest. It was always the same, it never changed no matter how much help you tried to get.

JJ was your boyfriend of three months, it wasn't long but considering how close the two of you were, it felt like it had been so much longer than that just because the two of you have been friends for over three years, a constant friendship until it happened to turn into much more than that.. You loved him with all of your heart and wished you could have told him what would have happened but he wouldn’t want you after that.. He wouldn’t want you, you knew that, he wouldn’t want seconds, right?

But JJ noticed it, he saw the change in your eyes, the way you couldn't look up anymore or even into the eyes of others without swallowing or the look on your face, you became scared of everything. You started to wear more clothes and you completely shut him out of everything, never letting him into your secrets or even your room. But he had to find out what was happening and he was going to make sure you stayed safe along with telling him what was on your mind, maybe it was depression coming back but at this moment he didn’t know, he wanted to..

He stood outside of your house and held onto the little bag of chocolates, along with your favorite movie and flowers, he wanted to surprise you. JJ walked into your house, he had a key and even if he didn’t he knew your mother would have welcomed him without even thinking twice. You backed away from the mirror with your hair up in a messy bun, your eyes having dripped with tears but you rubbed them away, trying to stay away from the pain. You dodged it, like a giant ball having been thrown at you, you made it work.

Your boyfriend made his way up the stairs, knocking on the door when it gave you enough time to put on a large sweater and the pants, his favorite outfit on you by chance. He had loved the way it looked on you, when you didn;t have to put any effort into your look, the way your hair fell around your cheeks and when he could hold you closer to him, he loved your lazy look over anything else on you. He adored it. “ Hey baby girl..” he spoke softly when he opened the door and stared softly into those eyes of yours, he felt so blessed to have you, just happy to see you again, it had been three weeks after all. “ you look so beautiful, you know that?”

A wavering smile came over your lips, seeing as you looked away, you didn’t look into his eyes and only sat down on the bed. He walked closer when he set down the little baggie of treats along with the movie, sitting down on the edge of the bed when he held your hand but you pulled back instantly. Touch. That's what seemed to set you over the edge in the moment, you didn’t like to be touched and you couldn’t see your body for more than five minutes, it was causing your anxiety to swell up and sometimes seemed to push you into a fit of fear.

“Y/N , what's going on? You're pushing me away.. You haven’t really talked to me in two weeks.. Your mother told me that you haven't even left your room..” He watched you again, seeing as you were hollow and didn’t want to talk but he would always seem to break your walls down in a matter of moments, he moved his hand up your thigh and you instantly panicked. You saw the memories all over again, everything from the sand to those damn eyes that wouldn't stop staring down at you, it was breaking you from the inside out, each second, each glance. You pulled back and stood up when you didn’t know what to say to him, only a few words, “ dont- dont touch me. “

JJ felt his heart shatter when he heard those words, he didn’t know what he did or what happened but he knew he had to get to the bottom of it, he had to try and help you. “ bY/N, what happened, I- I don't know what happened but I need to know… I need you to tell me..”

You stood your ground when he tried to move closer and cup your cheeks but you backed away from him and shook your head, you pulled away from him and stood there, looking through those eyes of his. “ don't touch me. Do you need me to repeat myself, I don't need you to touch me or tell me anything- i know the reality of the world now, don't you know, nothings going to be okay, DON'T YOU KNOW. “

He took a step back and shook his head when you yelled much louder than before and he just watched you, he heard what you had to sa, he was seriously kind and couldn’t control the tears that ran down his cheeks, he was gonna break down, just because he couldn’t help you, he couldn’t help. “ Y/N, what are you talking about, what happened, if you want me to stop, I’ll stop.. Okay?”

He was watching you with soft eyes and couldn’t help that fear that he did something. What if he had been the one to ruin you, but he wasn’t, not even close, it was Rafe and barry. Those damn men who caused you nothing more than pain, but you knew you couldn’t go to the cops, what would they say, that you needed to bring it up to the family? That would cause you to become some freakshow with a false show with the richest family in town, someone who could afford to get you off of their back. “He - he pinned me down and covered my mouth-”

JJ heard those words when he shook his head weakly, he didn’t want to listen but he needed to do so to be able to help you, he had to help you. “ He held his hand over my mouth when - when I couldn’t scream- he pulled my shirt off and started to leave hickies all over my body, putting his- his hand between my legs and he forced me to open them, then - then Barry had his way with me until I was- was unable to move my legs…”

“ Baby.. are- are you talking about Rafe and Barry.. They- they raped you?” JJ asked when he stood closer to you and held onto your hands, he pulled your sleeves up and saw the giant bruises in the shapes of hands now, which were purple and set over your skin. “ did - did he do that..” You took a deep breath and nodded in agreement, your eyes swelling up with tears, now dropping down your already stained cheeks. “ I cried for you.. I cried for your - help but you never came…”

Those words broke his heart, he heard them echo in his soul, you cried out for him and yet he had never been there for you and you got hurt because he was way too drunk to defend you, he couldn;t save you.” I- I’m gonna kill him.. I swear to god.. I-” He was trying so hard to make sure you were okay, but you shook your head and stared into his eyes with such a soft look now, “ JJ.. what happened is already done, he did it- he took what wasn't his, and I can’t get his mark off of my body, I can't even breathe anymore without feeling the suffocation running through my body. “

“Baby.. I need you to look into my eyes, you are not who- who he made you feel like you were. You're not. You're gonna be okay, I just need you to calm down and breathe for me, okay?” He suggested when staring into your eyes and held onto your cheeks, he kissed your forehead and pulled you into a hug when he hoped to calm those thoughts that set over your brain and wouldn’t leave. Your breathing became shallow when you fell into his arms and buried your head into his chest, he hugged you closer than before and made sure you were still breathing, your voice was fragile and weak.

You shook your head and tried to pull away but he held you closer than before, hugging your body and hoped it would calm you. Over a few moments you finally stopped panicking and just broke down, you cried into his chest and he rubbed the back of your head, already planning on what he would do if he heard the chance. He was gonna kill that man and hurt him until he was crying for help and then he would do even worse to Barry, kill him if he had to. “I’m staining your shirt..”

“I do love you, but i'm not really concerned about my shirt.. Come on baby..” he picked you up when he set you down on the bed and cuddled into your side, he kissed your forehead weakly, he saw your eyes slowly opening and closing. He knew you well enough, you didn’t sleep for maybe a week and he could tell, he knew you way too well but you were thankful for that. He held you that day until you fell asleep and made sure to stay awake for when you woke up, JJ spent the whole day playing with your hair and even running his fingers up and down your back, if he saw you move, he stopped. He didn’t want to hurt you or make anything worse, he wanted you to be okay and to be happy, and he was gonna get you back to your bubbly self, no matter how long or how hard it would be. He would do the best he could.

[general-kenobi357]

Someday Soon-Chapter 7

Pairing: JJ Maybank x Fem!OC

Summary: The Pogues try to pawn off the gold they found but run into more trouble then they bargained for.

Word Count: 4.2k

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The next morning John B parked in front of the pawn shop in town as we all piled out of the van. I grabbed the hunk of gold which had been melted down earlier, I handed it off to JJ, who began to criticize Kie’s work.

“Hell of a job melting it down, Dr. Frankenstein.” He said weighing the gold in his hands.

“Like you could've done better.” Kie countered.

“I could have.” He said, turning to look at the group. “I took a welding class.”

“Yeah, that you skipped every day to visit me in English.” I pointed out, reminding him of the previous school semester.

“Whoa, whoa. Hey. Sh! Chill out, okay?” John B broke off the bickering.

“Easy for you to say. You're not the one that has to pawn this piece of shit off.” JJ responded, looking at the gold in his hands. “How did I get this job anyway?”

“'Cause you're the best liar.” Pope answered without skipping a beat as he entered the pawn shop and we all began to follow.

The bell rang above me as the door shut, I followed Kie to go look at a shelf of trinkets while JJ started talking to the women who sat behind the counter.

After a lengthy debate a price was finally agreed upon and we were told we’d have to go to a warehouse to complete the sale. I found it strange that this pawnshop had a warehouse when there were quite a few bare shelves in the store. Why would they need a warehouse to hold stuff when their shop was half empty? I figured that maybe I just didn’t know enough about the in and outs of pawn shops and chose to not voice my concerns while we all exited the shop with a warehouse address in hand.

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We were driving through the Cut on our way to the “warehouse” and something felt off, but then again things had felt off since we had started this treasure hunt, so I decided to push down the feelings of dread that were beginning to bubble up. I sat between JJ and Kie staring out the window which was across the van watching the rows of trees fly by as we continued down the road to the most deserted part of the island.

“So they keep money out here?” Pope asked in disbelief.

“That's what she said.” JJ replied, pausing for a minute a smirk grew on his lips. “That's what she said.”

“Stop.” Pope cut off JJ from laughing at his own comment.

“I've never even heard of Resurrection Drive.” Sarah turned around to look at us from the passenger’s seat.

“'Cause you're rich.” JJ commented.

“You've never heard of it either.” Kie defended Sarah while I smacked JJ’s arm. “There's nothing but weeds back here.”

A moment passed before the car behind us flashed on lights and sirens signaling us to pull over. The stealth cop car pulling us over in the middle of nowhere only added to the doubt I felt. Something was definitely wrong.

“Cops? Out here?” Kie asked as we all looked back while John B pulled over.

“God! Are you kidding me? What did we do?” JJ demanded on edge. “I hate cops.”

“Did you bring the gun?” Kie asked as he began to hide the gold in his bag, I prayed the answer was no I wasn’t sure what would happen if he had.

“No. Okay? Iz told me that I couldn’t bring it with me everywhere I went. I left it back at the place.”

“Thank God.”

“He's walking up.” Pope warned as JJ stuffed his bag under the seat.

I was looking back at the car when I heard the unmistakable sound of a gun cocking near John B’s open window.

“Why don't I go ahead and see them hands in the air?” A masked man demanded loudly, waving the gun in front of John B. “All y'all's hands up in the air now!”

Everything became a blur as he ushered us out of the van before instructing us to lay down in the ditch. I focused on remembering how to breathe as he began to rip apart the van clearly looking for something. It was all a set up, there was no warehouse, only a dead end road where one man could threaten us at gunpoint in order to take the gold we had found. I hadn’t noticed John B sneak away towards the car that had pulled us over but I did hear the muffled protest from the rest of the group. I could hear JJ cursing beside me while I watched the masked man find the gold and head back to his car which John B had just snuck into.

There was a pause before John B called out to us and we all rushed to his side. Incapacitating the man who had robbed us before John B ripped off his face covering so we could find out who he was. I didn’t recognize him but JJ seemed to, rambling about how he supplied his father with coke.

“Come on, let's get outta here.” John B urged as JJ grabbed the dealer’s wallet. None of us wanted to wait around for the real cops to show up.

“We got one last stop.” JJ told us, looking at the id he had found. “Let's go see where this son of a bitch lives.”

The dealer screamed threats at us as we made our way back to the van so that we could get outta there.

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“Welcome to Crackhead Wasteland.” Sarah spoke up as we drove up to a rundown trailer.

The ride here had been silent as we all tried to recover from what had just gone down.

“I don't know about this, man.” Pope spoke up uneasily. “Dude, why are we at Barry's?”

“This'll only take a second.” JJ responded hopping out of the van before making his way to the steps of the trailer.

“Where are you going?” John B asked JJ as he made his way across the porch.

“Yo soy justicia.” JJ responded as if that answered the question before disappearing into the building.

“Did you glean anything from that?” Pope asked as we all shook our heads.

“You know somebody should probably…” Kie started to say before John B got out of the van.

“Yeah, I got it.” He reassured, following JJ’s path into the trailer.

The rest of us stayed quiet as we waited for the pair to return. I felt numb still trying to figure out what was going on and why I hadn’t spoken up when I had the chance. Maybe if I had voiced my concerns we wouldn’t be here, maybe we could’ve gone to the mainland, traded the gold with someone else.

I was pulled out of the thoughts that were beginning to drown me when the rest of the gang got out of the van as JJ and John B approached us. I stayed sitting near the door figuring we would be leaving soon anyway.

“All right, so we're looking at five grand each for reparations for putting us through that bullshit.” JJ spoke to us all digging through a bag full of cash. “Sorry about that, y'all.”

“So that's what we're doing now? We're robbing drug dealers?” Kie asked hopelessly.

“This Barry guy's gonna find out.” Sarah reasoned. “And he's gonna come after us.”

“Yes, he will. This is not the time to start wilin' out.” John B added, it seemed like he was continuing a previous conversation they had most likely had inside.

“How'd you like havin' a gun pulled on you?” JJ asked finally snapping and pinning John B against the van.

“Relax.” John B told him in an attempt to calm JJ down.

“He had it right here on you, bro.”

“What are you gonna do when he comes for us?”

“We punch him in the throat.”

“Yeah, good fuckin' idea, JJ.”

“I'm not putting it back.” JJ finally said letting go of John B. He climbed past me into the van and sat down before looking at everyone. “You guys getting in or what? What”

“We're sick of your shit.” Kie told him.

“Oh, my shit?” JJ challenged getting back out of the van.

“Yeah. Yeah. Your shit. Yes. Your pulling guns on people shit.”

“You acting like a maniac…” Pope added.

“Okay, Pope, I took the fall for you, man!” JJ cried out. “Know how much I owe because of you?”

“I'm gonna pay you back, and I didn't ask you to do that!”

“I just did pay it back. Right here, right now, by myself.” JJ spat holding up the money he had found inside. “You know what? That's exactly what I'm gonna do. Go off by myself.”

“JJ... Hey, wait, man.” John B spoke up trying to stop him. “Iz could you?”

“Yeah I’ll go see what I can do.” I said. I didn’t have to hear the rest of the question to know John B wanted me to go after JJ thinking he might listen to me.

“Should we wait?” Kie asked as I began to follow JJ.

“No, I’ll um meet you guys at The Wreck later.” I stated, figuring it might take awhile to talk to JJ.

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It took me a couple minutes to catch up with JJ who was walking a lot faster than I expected. When I finally caught up to him I put a hand on his shoulder hoping he would turn around and he did, looking the most pissed off I had ever seen him.

“Jesus, what?” He groaned before realizing it was me, his face softened slightly but he couldn’t take back the comment.

“What? JJ, really?” I asked now that I too was pissed off. “I want to know what the hell is going on. Why are you doing this?”

“Doing what? I’m paying off the restitution.”

“JJ we have the gold, you don’t have to use that drug money. You don’t have to make more enemies.”

“It’s a little late for that Iz. Why do you even care?”

“Why do I care? Oh I don’t know maybe cause you’re important to me, because I know that you’re better than this.”

“Then clearly you don’t know me.” He told me before turning to continue walking. “Stop acting like my girlfriend, I don’t need someone telling me what to do.”

“Where are you even going?” I asked, trying to keep up with his quick pace while also attempting to let go of the comments he was making.

“Home.” He said after a moment. “I gotta go prove to the old man I did it. By myself, without him.”

After that comment I stopped trying to keep up, I stood still and watched him go. The tears I had been holding onto all morning finally springing free as I watched him fade from view. It felt like I had just lost the one person who kept me together.

🔅🔆🔅

I felt more lost than I ever had as I found myself walking up the stairs of The Wreck and towards the table that my friends were all seated at.

“There's about a zero percent chance that JJ goes home.” Pope said, I assumed it was an answer to a question that I had not heard.

“That’s exactly where he’s going.” I corrected Pope as my friends all turned to look at me.

“Are you alright?” Kie asked standing from the table and holding me an arms length away to inspect my features.

At that question I fell apart all over again and as the tears fell freely down my face the rest of my friends got up and all pulled me into a hug. After a couple minutes they all let go of me as Kie led me to sit down.

“What happened?” Pope asked concern written across his features.

“We fought about the money and then he left and I couldn’t stop him.” I explained between hiccups caused by my previous sobbing. “I’m fine guys or I will be, I’m just worried.”

They all gave me a look of uncertainty as if they didn’t believe what I was telling them but after a couple minutes Pope finally decided to change the topic effectively dropping it.

“Okay.” He started hesitantly. “It's too dangerous to pawn this thing off piecemeal. So our best bet is to go down there and get the rest of it. Bring it all up at once. Put it in... in a safe or a vault or something. I... I don't know. Just until we can find someone who won't rip us off. I can figure it out tonight, get it done, and we can be out there tomorrow morning.”

“All right, let's do it.” John B said ready to start planning.

“What about that thing with my dad?” Sarah asked him.

“What thing?” Kie asked as John B cursed under his breath.

“I have to go fishing with Ward.” He explained to us.

“You can't get 400 mil 'cause you're gonna go kill fish?”

“Look, I have to go.”

“Blow it off.” Pope spoke up. “It's 400 million in gold!”

“Make something up!” Kie added

“Look, I... I have to, okay?” John B shut down their suggestions. “He... he saved me, all right? If it weren't for Ward, I'd be in foster care. I have to go. Plus, it'll be better to do it at night. Right?”

“Fine. Fine, go fishing.” Kie said. “And at least JJ will probably have washed up by then.”

But I wondered if he would. As much as JJ’s words had hurt me I still worried, I had seen what Luke Maybank had done before and I knew he would want to keep the money that JJ had got for himself.

“I um I gotta go to work.” I said finally standing up when I noticed the clock on the wall. “I’ll see y’all later.”

“Yeah we’ll meet you at the Château tonight.” Kie reassured me letting go of my hand that she had been holding since I had arrived.

🔅🔆🔅

I closed the car door with a sigh, the sun was low in the sky. My mom had just dropped me off at home after we were done working and was about to go collect Emmy.

“I’ll be back in a while.” She assured me as I opened the back door to grab my bag from the seat.

“Okay I’ll see you then.” I said with a smile as she drove out of our driveway once again.

I made my way up to the porch and was about to go into my house when I noticed something on the dock at the Château. Confused, I dropped my bag on the steps before heading in that direction to go investigate.

As I got closer I noticed someone in a suit working on laying out a blanket. Then a head of unmistakable golden hair popped up as the old deck creaked under my feet.

“JJ?” I asked, confused by whatever was going on.

“Sweetheart.” He greeted me with a smile, meeting me halfway down the dock before leading me towards the picnic he had set up.

“What is this?” I asked him, my concern growing as he sat down.

“Sit, please. I got it all set up.” He stated, avoiding my question.

After a moment I sat as he offered me champagne.

“What is this?” I asked him again, pushing away the glass he was trying to pass to me.

“It’s um, It’s an apology. For this morning and for midsummers. I know I shouldn’t have run away-”

“It’s fine JJ.” I interrupted him trying to figure out what was really going on.

“No. No it’s not fine Iz. I mean I was a dick and I just didn’t know what to do. I’ve never liked a girl as much as I like you and I just don’t know what the hell I’m doing.” He confessed but I had no idea how to react. This is all that I wanted, he was all I wanted and yet now that he had finally said what I had been waiting for him to say I couldn’t hear it.

“JJ did you spend all your money?” I asked him.

“What? No, not on this dinner.” He answered and I knew he was dancing around the question. “Now will you please just stop worrying and enjoy this meal with me after I told you how I feel about you, Sweetheart.”

At that I decided to stop, to give into his request and push away my worries for an hour. Kie and Pope would be here soon, they would know what to do, how to help.

We had finished eating and JJ had convinced me to dance with him. Which is what we were now doing, dancing slowly to the music that played softly from the radio that JJ had brought out onto the dock.

“Can I kiss you?” JJ asked me suddenly, as I looked into his blue eyes.

I took a moment to consider it before nodding my head. This kiss was different from the last, we both knew it was going to happen and as our lips met it felt like it was meant to happen. All of the questions and worries I had melted away as I deepened the kiss.

But as I pulled away to catch my breath they all came crawling back. The questions of where we stood and what we were burned in the back of my throat, begging to be let out but I swallowed them back down as I looked into JJ’s eyes again and saw the smile playing on his lips.

I smiled back as we continued to dance, hoping to prolong this moment as long as I could before we had to go back to reality.

“Hey, do you have a swim suit on?” He asked as the song playing ended.

“Um no. Not right now.” I answered wondering what else he was planning.

“Well go get one.” JJ instructed as we pulled apart from each other. “I’ll meet you at the Château, okay? I’ve got one more surprise.”

“Yeah, okay.” I replied hesitantly making my way over to my house.

As I walked in Mom and Emmy both turned to look at me from the kitchen.

“Hey Hon what’s going on?” Mom asked.

“Um, not much I think I’m gonna hangout at John B’s for a while more.” I explained as I made my way towards my room.

I closed the door behind me before changing into a bathing suit and then throwing on a pair of shorts as I wasn’t sure where JJ was taking me. I had no idea why I needed a swimsuit but I figured maybe if I listened to JJ it would finally explain what was going on. Before I left my room I turned on my phone. I hadn’t used it in days since I had no way to charge it and I was trying to save the battery for anything important. This constituted being important. I dialed Kie’s number and listened to it ring before finally going to voicemail.

“Hey, where the hell are you guys? I’m with JJ at the Château, something is wrong. I don’t know what to do. Please get here soon.” I talked to her voicemail hoping she would hear it soon.

I tried Pope’s phone but got no response there either. After leaving a similar voicemail I figured I should head back over to where JJ was. I considered for a minute asking my Mom for help but then I thought it best not to. I wasn’t ready to explain everything that had gone down in the past few days and I wasn’t even sure how to.

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I crossed the lawn quickly to find JJ waiting in front of the Château for me. He still wore his dress shirt which I found an odd choice since he had ditched the rest of the suit for a pair of colourful swim trunks. In one hand he held tightly to the bottle of champagne he had opened earlier which was now almost empty.

“Finally.” He said, smiling as I walked over to him. “I wasn’t sure you were coming back.”

“Sorry. I couldn't find a bathing suit.” I lied, not wanting to tell him I had called our friends.

“That’s alright.” He said, his words were slow as he finished the last of the champagne before setting down the bottle. “Okay cover your eyes, I’ve got one more surprise for us.” He instructed before taking my hand.

With my eyes closed I couldn’t tell where we were headed but I knew it wasn’t far as we came to a stop after a short walk.

“Okay keep 'em covered.” JJ spoke hesitantly as he let go of my hand. I could hear the shuffling of fabric then a pause before I heard the sound of splashing water. “Alright you can look.”

As I opened my eyes it took me a moment to readjust to the bright lights that surrounded me. I stood with my mouth open in shock. That’s when my gaze lowered to where JJ sat in a huge hot tub a smile covered his face as if he was proud of all this.

“What the hell?” I muttered, still looking around the yard which was completely different. Had I not been so worried about JJ I could’ve appreciated how beautiful it was.

“I bought a hot tub.” He stated, grabbing a new bottle of champagne, I watched him open it, trying to figure out what to say.

“Yeah.” I muttered agreeing with his comment. “Why?”

“I figured we had earned it. You know the Pogues deserve a little luxury.” He explained. “Now you need to get in here, immediately.”

“Did you spend it all?” I asked, hesitantly moving closer to where the hot tub sat.

“Pretty much all of it, yeah. But, I mean, like, come on, look at this!” He exclaimed, waving his arms around. “Finest in jet-based massage therapy, that's what they told me.”

I wanted to scream at him and ask what the hell was going through his mind but I couldn’t form any response. I stood paralyzed watching him. I could feel tears forming, clouding my vision begging to be let out but I wouldn’t let them, I had cried too much today I didn’t want to again.

“Sweetheart, what?” He asked, noticing that I was barely holding it together. “Can't a man have a little luxury in life?”

“JJ, seriously?” I asked, finally finding my voice. “You could have paid for restitution!”

“Okay, well, you know what? I didn't do that!” He snapped, standing up and pointing a finger at me. As he stood I saw the huge bruises covering his torso. It all made sense and I realized that I shouldn’t have let him walk away. I shouldn’t have let him go home. “I got a hot tub! I got a hot tub for us. For my friends. You know what? No, you know what? Screw friends. I got a hot tub for my family!”

“JJ, what happened?” I asked, the tears finally falling down my cheeks. I didn’t need to ask though, I already knew.

“No, you stop being emotional. It's fine, okay? Sweetheart, I’m fine.” He tried to convince me but his voice cracked with every word he spoke, he started moving closer to where I stood. “Just get in!”

JJ held out his arm for me to take and I did. Kicking off my shoes before I climbed over the side, I stood beside him pulling him into a hug. I held him while I cried, I didn’t know what to say. How to make it better. And as I held him he began to break down as well, sobbing into my shoulder.

“I just couldn't do it.” He started to say between sobs. “I can't take him anymore! I was gonna kill him. I just wanna do the right thing.”

“I know.” I tried to tell him but I couldn’t speak very loudly as I choked on my words. “I know.”

We stood there for what felt like hours, I could hear voices speaking behind us before two people climbed up the steps and joined our hug. I could tell it was Kie and Pope as they muttered to us, trying to sooth JJ as he continued to sob.

After we all finally pulled away, Kie explained that they had arrived slightly after our conversation had begun. They had heard it all, they didn’t need an explanation. The rest of the night we all sat in silence. I never left JJ’s side, I held onto his hand like my life depended on it, as I tried to make sense of it all.

🔅🔆🔅

[rainy-day-gracie]

Old Friends 7

Hello!! 

This chapter KILLED me. Just get ready. 

More angst and fluff!!

Spencer Reid x Reader

Enjoy :)

Chapter 7: 

Just breathe. In and out. 

That’s what I told myself as I rode the elevator up to the BAU. 

It’s been almost six months since the day I realized I was going to live. Six months since someone I called my friend beat me to a pulp until my ex-boyfriend put a bullet in his brain. 

Riding up the elevator felt so much like my first day starting at the BAU. Except this time, I actually knew these people. And after my former experience, I couldn’t even bring myself to trust any of them anymore, even though I knew they would never try to hurt me. 

I had thought that before also. 

The first person that saw me was Morgan. “Hey, pretty girl is back!” 

A genuine smile fell across my lips. “I couldn’t stand watching baking shows anymore. Figured it was time to get back to work.”

“We’re so happy you’re back, YLN,” JJ said as she patted my arm with a smile. I fought back the flinch reaction I had to her touch. 

“Are you absolutely sure six months is enough time?” I heard Spencer ask from behind me. 

I didn’t even turn around when I answered. “Yes, Spencer, I’m fine.” 

He didn’t look too convinced when he stood next to me. Prentiss smiled when she saw me, and she walked over to stand next to JJ. 

“We may have a surprise for you.” Prentiss gestured for me to follow her to the briefing room.

“Please tell me it’s cake,” I whispered to JJ. She laughed and nodded. 

I realized when I walked in that it was red velvet cake. It was my favorite. 

Now it only reminded me of my blood spilling over Spencer’s hands in that basement. 

My smile never wavered. “You guys are the absolute best.”

I heard the thudding of Garcia’s high heels and I turned around to face her. “Oh my gosh, the beautiful genius woman has returned!”

She ran forward to hug me, and I immediately shrank into myself and took a few steps backwards. She retreated with an embarrassed look on her face, and I quickly tried to comfort her. “Sorry... um, I’m still struggling with touch.”

“No, no, I’m sorry. It’s just a habit.” She looked so sad in that moment that I felt bad about retreating.

“It is very wonderful to see you, Penelope.” I lightly patted her on the arm. 

Hotch and Rossi walked into the room. 

“It is very good to have you back, YLN,” Hotch shook my hand and Rossi kissed both my cheeks, making me smile. 

The day passed slowly, catching up on paperwork. I felt Spencer keep glancing at me, and I finally couldn’t take it anymore. 

“Spencer if you keep looking at me like I’m going to fall apart, I will slap your pretty face so hard.” 

He flushed. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay. I’m just telling you that you don’t need to do that. I’m fine.” I could feel the lie in my mouth, and I knew Spencer could see it on my face. 

I am not fine. Not even close. Every time I look in a mirror I see the scars riddled across my body. Whenever I sleep I hear my captor’s voice whispering in my ear. The memories seemed to laugh at me. You may have escaped Barry, but you can’t escape us. 

As five o’clock neared, I was counting the minutes until I could drop the act of the strong survivor. 

My heart sunk as I watched Garcia walk across the hall. “Ladies and gentlemen, we have a case!”

Disappointment must’ve been clear as day on my face because Spencer and Morgan pulled me aside before we went into the BAU room. 

“Hey, YLN, I’m sure Hotch would let you sit this one out if you asked.” Morgan looked at me with his concerned dark eyes, and a knot of anger rolled in my stomach. 

“Why do you guys keep acting like I’m some delicate little thing?” I hissed at them. “I’m sick of it!”

“Because you’ve been through more than almost any of us on this team and we all care about you.” Spencer crossed his arms defiantly. “It’s totally acceptable for you to not be completely okay.” 

I rolled my eyes and pushed past them into the BAU room. “I’m fine.”

“No you’re not,” I heard Spencer whisper. 

Garcia pointed to the TV after we all had gotten seated. “You are headed to Nashville, Tennessee, where three women, all unidentified, have been found murdered in different motels. All of the bodies were discovered on a Saturday morning.”

The crime scene photos made me want to vomit. The women were found in the motel room bathtubs, severely tortured and beaten, cause of death being a strong slash across the neck. The bile rose up in my throat, and I swallowed it bitterly. 

“Um, the killer likely met them on Friday night, maybe at a bar or club. That means he’s a charmer, he could get these women into a motel room with him.” I took a deep breath, trying to convince myself that I was okay. At least I added something, so the team won’t catch on to the intense churning in my stomach. 

“Something triggered him to start killing, and now that he’s started he can’t stop. Wheels up in 30, and YLN, come see me for a minute.” 

Shit. That can’t be good.

I stepped into Hotch’s office a few minutes later. “You wanted to see me?”

Hotch looked into my eyes, and I was thankful he was the only one not looking at me like I was going to shatter at any given time. “I’m not sure I want you in the field, YLN.” 

I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion. “Excuse me? I passed all my psych evaluations, and I’ve been cleared from two doctors to come back to work.”

“I know.”

“So what’s the problem?”

Hotch huffed a heavy breath. “I’m worried about you being in the field and painful memories coming back. I know from personal experience that can lead to recklessness and impulsive decisions.” 

I raised my eyebrows and laughed bitterly. “You think I won’t keep my cool.” 

“That’s my fear, yes.” 

While turning to walk out of the office, I turned to Hotch. “Painful memories don’t have to come back, Hotch. They’re always there. Surely you can understand that?”

Hotch grabbed his go bag and followed me out. “All too well.”

__

I ended up with Prentiss and Morgan at the Nashville FBI Field Office. After hours of speculation over motive and victimology, we headed to the hotel around 1 AM. 

Dark images filled my head more than usual as I sat in the backseat of the SUV. Morgan and Prentiss didn’t speak as we pulled up to the hotel, the rest of the team had already settled in. 

I pounded on Spencer’s door. I felt bad that it was 3 AM, but I needed to see him, to know he was alive. 

It had been a month since my kidnapping and torture, and I hadn’t slept since. 

He cracked the door open to see me, in my pajamas and messy bed head, standing outside his apartment. Spencer swung the door open wide, letting me in. “What's wrong?”

We sat on his couch, and I cried for the first time in a month. He didn’t say anything, he just held me as I broke down. “Spencer… when he tried to… hurt me, I thought of you.”

“What do you mean?”

“I thought about all the little things and all the big things that we’ve gone through… I cherished them in that moment because… I really thought I was going to die. And I wanted to be thinking of you when… I finally did die.” 

Spencer just shook his head. “But you didn’t die, YFN. You have to remember that.” 

After five hours of sleep, the call at 6 AM alerted us that they had another body. The team met in the lobby, everyone’s faces looking grim. 

“He’s sped up his time table majorly. Normally he’s only killed on Friday nights. It’s Tuesday.” JJ said in a low voice. 

Hotch huffed a tired breath. “Alright, Reid, YLN, go to the new crime scene. Go and change then head over there as soon as you can. Check to see if anything is new or frantic. We’ll be at the station.”

“Got it.” As I went to go change, a ball formed in the pit of my stomach. How was I supposed to look at the mangled bodies of women when I could’ve just as easily been one of them?

__

When we pulled up to the motel the sun was rising over the horizon. I tried not to get distracted by Spencer’s cute messy bed head and the way he seemed to glow in the sun rise.

We walked into the room, and the scent of blood hit me like a truck. Spencer noticed my hesitation, but didn’t say anything.

The bathtub was nearly full of this woman’s blood, and her black and blue skin stood out against her pale complexion. “Major escalation,” I murmured. As I got a closer look, the more I wanted to run out. “He violated her with the knife this time.”

I turned back to face Spencer and I saw his furrowed eyebrows. He stepped forward to look at the victim’s face. “Up until now he’s chosen seemingly low risk victims, but this woman looks to be a prostitute.”

I sighed, closing my eyes. “He’s getting antsy. He can’t wait for crowded Friday nights anymore, he needed an accessible victim pool that would get in a car with him.”

I couldn’t take the metallic smell of blood in that motel room any longer. After pushing past officers and CSI, I took a deep breath of fresh cold air outside. 

“What do you think this new victimology means for future victims?” Spencer said from behind me. 

“I think… he’s hunting again tonight. And we need to be ready.”

__

The warmth of the coffee cup in my hand soothed me as I staked out in front of Lana’s Motel. It was my idea to stake out all the motels in the geographic profile, and the numbers were so high that we were all on our own in our SUVs. 

About three hours had gone by when I saw a small dark green car pull into the motel extremely quickly. I watched as a man got out and went into the main lobby to get a room. The man came back out and pulled his car into an isolated spot in the parking lot. He grabbed someone from the passenger’s seat and seemed to throw her into one of the motel rooms. 

I listened at the door for some kind of noise, and I dialed Hotch’s number as soon as I heard cries for help. “Hotch, I got him. He’s in Room 14A at Lana’s Motel.”

“Listen to me, do not engage. He is extremely unstable and paranoid. Do not enter the room.” Hotch was almost pleading with me. “Tell me you won’t go in until backup arrives.”

A terrified scream was muffled through the door, and I couldn’t help but think of my own screams echoing in that dark basement. “Hotch, she’s screaming for help. I can’t just leave her.”

“YLN-” Hotch started, and I hung up the phone and kicked the motel door in with my gun drawn. 

A young woman was on her knees, a larger figure holding a knife to her throat behind her. “Please help,” she whispered to me.

“You don’t wanna do this.” I kept my voice even and calm. “I know that you’ve been rejected your entire life, and you're angry about that. I understand. But why throw away your life for…” I jutted my chin out to the terrified woman. “Her?”

He huffed a laugh and he unknowingly slightly lowered the knife. 

I continued with my even voice. “Look at her. Do you really want me to shoot you over some blubbering mess?” The words hurt to say, especially now that I know what it’s like to be her. To be a victim. 

Police lights illuminated the dirty motel room, and he finally made a decision. 

The rest of my team burst in the room as I was cuffing the disgusting killer that I outsmarted. 

__

Hotch was pissed.

“What were you thinking? The risks that you took? This is exactly what I was worried about!” 

I leaned against my SUV, the lecture starting to get tiring after 15 minutes. Hotch was pacing frantically and Spencer was leaning against the car next to me. I’ve never seen either of them this mad before.

“Look Hotch, you can’t look me in the eye and tell me that you wouldn’t have done the exact same thing. The woman was screaming for God’s sake, what was I supposed to do?” 

He didn’t have an answer for me. “Take a walk, YLN.”

I huffed a breath and pushed past Hotch and Spencer to stand by the motel pool, away from everything. 

After a few minutes I felt Spencer stand next to me.

“That was a big risk, YFN.” 

I rolled my eyes.  “Everything we do is a risk. I couldn’t just stand by listening to her scream for help when…” my voice hitched.

Spencer looked me in the eyes. “When what?”

“When I know how it feels.” A rebellious tear rolled down my cheek, and I tried to keep my chin from quivering. 

Spencer lowered his voice to almost a whisper. “When you were taken, I was completely panicking. I just kept thinking about how fast it happened and how I feel like it was my fault. There was a moment when we found you, bleeding in that basement, where I really thought that I would lose you… and it was the worst feeling I’ve ever had. I’m not mad that you ignored Hotch, I’m mad that you don’t even think about risks anymore. You’re not okay, no matter how many times you deny it.” 

“Don’t you think I know that?!” I almost yelled at him. “I know that I’m not okay better than anyone. There’s scars to prove it, so you don’t have to keep reminding me.” Hot angry tears streamed down my cheeks, and Spencer enveloped me in a hug.

“You can’t be alone right now.”

__

Spencer and I both have a taste for the simpler ways of life. As I was sitting in his library of an apartment, he played soft tunes on his keyboard, and we didn’t speak. We sat like that for hours, him playing the piano and me just sitting on his sofa in silence. 

“Spencer, dance with me.” I tugged on Spencer’s arm, trying to get him away from the book he was pouring over. 

“Why?” He closed the book and looked up at me. “We’re in the middle of the MIT library and there’s no music.”

“Because I’m your girlfriend, and we’ve never danced before.” 

Spencer rolled his eyes with a smile. He stood up and wrapped an arm around my waist, and I rested my head on his shoulder, swaying gently. We danced like that until the librarian yelled at us to leave, and she chased us out as we laughed, giddy with love. 

I wrapped my arms around his shoulders from behind. “Dance with me.”

Spencer chuckled as he placed one hand on my arm, the other hand still expertly playing. “Like in college?” 

“Yes.”

He turned around as he stood up, smoothly placing his arm around my waist, holding me like I was the most precious piece of treasure in the world. Scars and all. 

He held our hands out and pressed his nose to mine. We swayed as gently as that night in the MIT library when we were 19. His breath smelled like the strawberry ice cream we had eaten earlier tonight, and I found it simply intoxicating.

There were no words as he pressed his lips to mine. We didn’t need them. 

We had each other memorized. 

@itsarayofsunshine @thesailbells  @squirrellover1967  @softpeteparker @parkeroffline

[malolo25]

Story of my Father

There was a full white moon and a bright blue sky with a billion stars. William was in the lounge for the first time, watching cartoons. He had long brown hair, he was pretty chubby and also a mummy's boy. Imagine what was going through his mind at the age of five. A child who had no idea what he wanted to do with his life and had no aspirations. William didn't want to become a barber and worship leader until he was fifteen years old. William began smoking weed when he was 16 years old, and because he smoked too much, he developed anxiety. He became sarcastic and plastic, and his crying became traumatic. He had consumed too much weed, and his brain felt as if it had been hit by a train, so he brought some alcohol to make him feel better and make his pain go away, his pain of anxieties, when he was drinking he felt like it was just him in a black room where there are no problems but just him.

After a year, he celebrated his 17th birthday at a church camp where he had attended. William sat right at the front of where the preacher was preaching. The pastor was preaching about knowing your purpose, at that very specific moment those words triggered William and he felt eager to know more. After the preacher preached he said, “If you want to accept the Lord as your savior, know your purpose, come forth and get baptized,” and that was the first time he had accepted the Lord into his life, as well as the first time he had been baptized, "now it time to find my purpose", he said it in his head.

When William discovered over the years that his life's purpose was to save people through music and barbering. He wanted to change, so he stopped smoking weed and alcohol because he wanted to fully commit himself to God. He started to do some training because he was pretty chubby, not only that he started reading the bible and praying every day. Every day, William’s relationship with God was strongly close. He began cutting hair at home at the age of 13, then at school, and he also practiced singing every day and for the reason being is that he wanted to be skillful at barbering and have a voice of an angel and want to change for his benefits. He traveled to America for his birthday when he turned 21. William arrived there at his uncle’s house, straight away he was tempted with the same issue of smoking weed and alcohol, his cousin asked him if he wanted to drink and smoke some weed, William replied no and his cousin said just for tonight to celebrate your birthday, William replied no. And Guess what happens? He did it again, he fell back to his old habits. 

The next morning he woke up feeling guilty to talk to God, because of how he fell back into his old habits. The whole week God was a ghost to him, he didn't talk to God at all, it wasn't until Friday evening, William went to his cousins youth and one of the youth leader named "Wesley Tioa" talked about sinning and know how to repent and ask God for forgiveness, he said, "We all sin and make mistakes, but we need to repent and ask God for forgiveness." It was getting to the end of encouragement. He asked if anyone needed any prayer or needed to be right with God, come forth and pray with me. William went up, a few minutes later he started crying, and he was praying saying, "Dear Lord, forgive me for falling back into my old habits and for not talking to you." "Please give me one more chance." After that night William said that God talked to him saying, "Don't worry my child, I forgive you,” and he felt happy again.

Two weeks later, William flew back to New Zealand to surprise his mother for her birthday. So he put his cell phone into silent mode so no one can ring him or text. He caught a cab from the airport to Henderson out west. As soon as he entered the drive-way of his house, he spotted an ambulance car on their drive-way, his face went pale as if he was gonna have a heart attack. He paid the taxi driver, and he quickly ran to the ambulance car and William saw his mother laying down inside the car. He dropped to his knees and burst into tears, he was always momma's boy, William followed behind the ambulance to the hospital with his mini Cooper that he had. 

They took William’s mother to do a CT scan, and William asked if could come inside but the doctors said he couldn't come in but if he could wait outside until the operation was finished. A while after the doctors came to William and said that his mother has cancer and also his mother may not make it, William got irritated from those negative words and said reluctantly, “Can you guys double check!”, the doctor replied and said, “Sure.” 3 hours later, the doctor came and stood in front of William looking very sad and said, “She couldn’t make it”, William burst into tears and cried out loud and said, THIS IS MY FAULT!!, BOOM! Suddenly everything went pitch black.

Babe! Babe! Said William's wife, William got up straight away, his wife said to him, “you're late to work”, William looked confused as he quickly went to have a shower. He clicked after he showered that it was a reminiscence of his past life. William was pastor of Word Of Life South Auckland Church in Otahuhu, he has his own barber shop called GBB (Gloria’s Backyard Barbers), he named it after his younger sister, he also had a wife and two kids, a boy and girl. The wife's name was Vaiga Maria Molioo and the kids' names were Barry and Maria (Williams and his wife’s middle name).

 Now I know what is right and what is bad, now I’ll follow in his footsteps of being a barber and a musician. He inspired me alot with barbering, mostly being a musician, he will always play his electric guitar when he's on his break and I’ll listen and play along with the bass. Now I am currently playing the bass for the school year 13 band and soon to be the best bass player in the country. Love you dad always.

[eevee-eclair]

Smitten Like a Kitten

Written by EeveeEclair

TW: fluff, crying, (tell me if I missed one!)

Random side note: This was made possible thanks to @does-this-look-logicality-to-you’s Animal Shelter AU! Thank you!

>~~~~~<

About ten years ago when Patton and Logan were still in college, Logan told Patton about his soft spot for animals. Patton was shocked the ‘emotionless’ man (or so everyone called him) loved something as much as him. And animals no less!

“It’s just… they tend to follow me everywhere and I feel like they understand me somehow,” Logan said, looking a little sheepish. “I know it sounds illogical, but I think I want to open an animal shelter when I graduate.”

Patton gasped and squealed. “Can I help?!” He asked.

Logan looked at him for a second, then gave him one of his rare smiles. “Yeah! And we could help all kinds of animals!” He said.

Patton smiled and got comfortable at the desk he was sitting at, listening to Logan ramble about his dream shelter. He listened as Logan told him about a lamp room and how he would run the place, nodding every so often as giving his opinion here and there.

It was then he realized he might have a crush on Logan.

~~~

A few years after graduation, Logan and Patton bought what would soon be their dream animal shelter. They had asked some family for financial help, and asked their friends Virgil and Roman if they would want to work there.

“I can’t believe this is happening!” Patton squealed as he walked through the empty animal shelter. “Right, Logan?” He asked. He was met with silence, so he looked around for Logan. “Logan?” He called. It took a minute but he found Logan in the backyard where the dogs would be able to run around. Upon closer inspection, he saw his friend crying. 

Logan saw him approaching and wiped the tears away. “Hello, Patton. What do you need?” He asked, trying to hide the fact he was crying.

Patton wasn’t going to let him just forget it, though. “Why are you crying?” He asked, putting a hand on Logan’s back.

“It’s just… I never thought I would be living this dream,” he told him. He laughed a little. “It’s all thanks to you.”

Patton smiled and felt tears build up in his eyes too. “It was only because you told me it was your dream,” he said, hugging Logan.

They sat there, wrapped in each other’s arms crying happy tears for about an hour. It was sundown but the time they went back to their respective apartments.

~~~

Two months after they had bought the empty building, they had their first dog. After everyone saw how happy the dog became only a few weeks later, they got more and more animals and with it came more and more adoptions.

But every time someone came to adopt a pet, they asked how said pet became so happy so fast. Every time, they said the same thing, ‘you can thank Logan Barry’. Yet, every time, the adopter would take one look at the emotionless receptionist and laugh.

“You can’t be serious,” someone once said.

“Ma’am, I've never been more serious in my life. The animals love him,” Patton told her. 

As if on cue, a mother cat and her five kittens all jumped onto Logan’s workspace. His face immediately lit up with the biggest smile, making Patton melt. He watched as Logan put a kitten in his shirt pocket and two on his lap. Logan then set another on his head and the last one on his shoulder, leaving the mama cat, Sammy, kitten-less and given a well deserved break.

Sammy meowed at Logan before jumping off, leaving her kittens to snuggle with the kind man. “Bye Sammy,” Logan said, before turning back to work.

The lady stared at Logan in awe. She gave a small ‘oh’ before leaving with the bird she adopted. Patton smiled as she walked off, happy to have proved her wrong.

~~~

It didn’t take long for Patton and Logan to realize they would need a better way to get to work faster. Both their apartments were about an hour to thirty minutes from the shelter, so they had to get up extremely early. Not to mention the late hoodies they already worked.

“We can’t run on three hours of sleep forever, Lo,” Patton yawned.

“I know,” Logan said, rubbing his eyes. “But for both of us to move would be expensive. It would also take up a lot of time we don’t have to give.”

Patton taped his chin for a second, thinking of a solution. “We could move in together?” He suggested. “It would save us money, be more convenient, and we won’t have to waste a lot of time moving! We could even call Roman and Remus to help unpack!”

Logan nodded. “It would be beneficial for both of us,” he mused. “Okay, I like your idea. But we need to plan it out. We can’t be gone from the shelter for too long or Virgil will have a panic attack.”

Patton smiled. “Okay! I’ll start looking for houses nearby!” He said, opening his laptop to search. Logan smiled as he watched Patton search for houses. He wouldn’t admit it, but he was very excited about the idea of sharing a house with his best friend.

~~~

Patton watched with a small smile on his face as Logan walked around the shelter with at least four dogs trotting after him. He also noticed a black cat had fallen asleep on Logan's shoulders and a small bird was snoozing in his hair. Logan saw Patton watching and walked over to him, beaming.

“Ah, Patton! I’ve been looking for you,” he said.

“Oh? And what can I do for you?” Patton asked, smiling back.

“I’ve got a few more adoption papers for you!” Logan told him. “Two cats and one dog!”

Patton laughed at Logan’s enthusiasm. “Alright, let me see,” he said. Logan handed him the papers and he skimmed them quickly. “Alright! I’ll send Roman over for a house inspection tomorrow.”

Logan nodded and walked off, still smiling. Patton noticed that the amount of animals had increased in the few minutes he stood still, as he walked away.

~~~

Logan watched as Patton smiled when another animal was adopted. More specifically, how cute he looked smiling. Usually, he thought nothing of it, but today he just couldn’t shake how adorable Patton looked in the skirt he insisted on wearing even though Logan had told him it would get ruined (and at the end of the day, it was) and how well it worked with his wide smile.

Patton looked in Logan’s direction and his smile turned from customer service to one of his genuine smiles. The kind you can’t say no to.

Logan sat up a little straighter (read gayer) as Patton made his way over. 

“Hi, Lo! Did you need something?” He asked in his cheery tone.

“Oh no, I’m fine!” Logan said. “Just… umm… getting some work done! Yeah, that’s it!” He rushed in a panic.

“Okay, well I’m going to go get lunch! Roman brought sandwiches! Do you want anything?” 

Logan shook his head. “I brought my own lunch, thanks,” he told him, pointing to his lunchbox. Most days it held not only a tuna sandwich and an orange, but treats for the animals that sit around him.

“Okay! If you change your mind, let me know!” Patton smiled, walking off.

Logan waved goodbye before slumping in his chair letting out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. Sammy meowed in protest as he laid his head on her tail.

“Sorry, Sam,” he mumbled. “He’s just too cute!”

Sammy meowed in acknowledgement before tucking her tail in and laying back down.

“Did you just call Patton cute?”

Logan jumped at Virgil’s voice, startling Sammy again and the bird who decided Logan’s hair would make a good napping spot.

“Virgil!” He cried, adjusting his tie nervously. “Don’t sneak up on me like that!”

“Sorry,” Virgil shrugged. “But you’re avoiding my question. Did you just call Patton cute?”

Logan sighed and covered his face. “Yes.”

“Why?” Virgil asked. Then realization dawned on him. “Oh my god, you like Patton.”

Logan’s face turned red and he quickly shushed Virgil. “Don’t say it so loud!” He hissed.

Virgil laughed. “Everyone knows, L. It’s no secret. Well, except to Patton,” he said shrugging. “Poor dude is too innocent for his own good,” Virgil mused.

“Do you have any advice for me?” Logan pleaded, snapping Virgil from his thoughts.

Virgil nodded. “Yeah.”

Logan stared at him for a second. “Well? What is it?” He asked, growing impatient.

“You don’t know?” Virgil asked, shocked. When Logan shook his head no, Virgil groaned. “You’re hopeless.”

Logan began to panic. “What does that mean?!” He cried.

Virgil laughed. “No, dude, like, you’ve never asked out a crush before?”

Logan’s face turned a light shade of pink. “You’re suggesting I ask Patton out?” He whispered. Virgil nodded. “You’re insane!” He cried.

“Who is?” Patton asked.

Logan jumped. Again. “No one!” He exclaimed, adjusting his tie. “What can I help you with, Patton?” Logan asked. 

“Roman found a kitten hiding under a car at a car dealership and I was wondering if you could help us get it to eat?” Patton asked. Logan saw Patton looked distressed and felt his chest tighten at the sight. 

Logan nods. “Absolutely, tell me where it is,” he said, standing up.

Patton smiled. Logan’s heart jumped at his new favorite sight. “Thank you Logan! They’re both in the lamp room,” he said. The lamp room was where they had all their heat lamps for snakes, lizards, and other reptiles. Sometimes they used it for baby animals (like kittens) that had no mother for warmth. 

Virgil smiled as Logan walked away with Patton. He pulled out his phone and started to text his friend, Remy. They didn’t usually hire outsiders, but Virgil introduced him to Logan and Patton and they quickly hired him. Remy was also really good with birds for some reason.

You: u and ro are gonna help me set up our bosses

Sleep King: k. when we startin?

You: lunch. imma talk to ro dont b l8

Sleep King: k see u then

Virgil put his phone up and followed the others into the lamp room to talk to Roman. They had a date to plan.

~~~

Patton smiled as Logan finally got the sick kitten to drink some formula. Normally, Logan wouldn’t have to do this, but there were no mother cats willing to provide milk. Hence, the bottle of kitten formula.

He watched as Logan smiled and pet the small cat for doing such a good job. Patton decided then and there he would do whatever he could to make Logan smile like that more often.

Roman noticed Patton’s helpless staring and nudged him. “You good, Pops?” He asked.

Patton blinked and stopped starting at Logan. “Yes? Why wouldn’t I be?”

Roman laughed a little. “You’re kinda staring at Logan,” he said.

Patton’s face burned red. “O-oh! I didn’t notice,” he mumbled.

Roman stared at him for a second before grinning. “You have a crush on Logan,” it was a statement, not a question.

“Noooo…” Patton lied, looking away. “What makes you say that?”

Roman tried to hide his giggles but he failed miserably. “Oh my god you do!” He laughed. “You have a crush o-“

Patton put a hand over Roman’s mouth before he could finish his sentence. “Okay! I do! But don’t tell him!” He pleaded.

Roman rolled his eyes but nodded nonetheless. Patton removed his hand and sighed. “Fine. But I’m telling the others.”

Patton paled. “You can’t! No one can know!” He cried.

“You can’t expect me to keep this a secret from everyone?” Roman asked, raising an eyebrow.

“A gay can dream, can’t he?” Patton said with a sad but hopeful smile.

“I’m telling Remy and Virgil,” Roman said. “And possibly Remus and Janus,” he added after some thought.

Patton lowered his head in defeat. “As long as Logan doesn’t find out, you can tell whoever,” he mumbled.

Roman took one look at his friend’s sad expression and sighed. “Fine. I’ll only tell Virgil and Remy. Deal?”

Patton nodded, smiling a little. “Deal!”

~~~

Remy sipped his iced coffee as he waited for Virgil and Roman I’m the breakroom. He had been waiting for a few minutes and was starting to get impatient. Usually Virgil didn’t keep him waiting this long.

“Sorry we're late!” Virgil said, stumbling through the doorway with Roman close behind. Both men looked a little rough.

Remy whistled. “Why were you two late? Wait, don’t tell me,” he said, smirking. He laughed at his friend’s red face. “Relax! I’m kidding! I know what really happened.”

“Remy!” Virgil cried. “Get your mind out of the gutter!”

Remy lowered his sunglasses, looking Virgil right in the eye. “It’s not in the gutter, babe. I never said what really happened.”

“Whatever! What’s going on?” Roman asked, changing the subject. He walked over to the fridge and pulled out the salad he had been saving. “Virgil said something about setting up some guys?”

“Yeah, Logan and Patton,” Virgil said. “Logan has this huge crush on Patton but he’s too chicken to do anything about it.”

Roman laughed. “This is perfect! Patton just told me he also had a crush on our Nerdy Wolverine!” He told them.

Remy shrugged. “Well, the answer is pretty simple. We set up two fake dinners. One between Virgil and Logan and one between Roman and Patton. Then, when they both accept, you both stand them up and watch from a different table,” Remy said it like it was obvious. 

Roman stared at him. “That is so cheesy and cliché!” He cried. Then he smirked. “I’m in.”

Virgil rolled his eyes. “Fine. I’ve got nothing better to do anyway.”

And just like that, they had a plan.

~~~

Roman and Virgil got off the phone about the same time, setting up their fake dinner dates. Virgil felt bad about lying to his friends, but Roman assured him it was in that name of love.

“They’ll thank us later,” Roman said.

“Let's hope so,” Virgil mumbled, snuggling into his side. “Cuddle me to make me feel better?” He asked.

Roman put an arm around Virgil. “Of course,” he said.

Remy groaned. “Get up you two! You have a date to stalk!” He whined.

“Can’t you do it? They could recognize us! Plus, you’d get to see the date first hand,” Virgil said smiling.

“You got me there,” Remy mused. “Fine! You can stay. I got some gays to stalk,” he said, walking away.

~~~

Logan fiddled with his tie as he waited for Virgil to show up. Virgil was never late and he was starting to worry. What could make Virgil forty minutes late? To a reserved time no less!

He was pulled from his spiraling by the sound of crying. Looking around he noticed Patton wasn’t far from him. Not only that, he was the one in tears. It broke his heart to see him so sad, so he walked over and put a hand on his back.

“Patton? Are you okay?” Logan asked.

Patton shook his head and wiped at his tears. “N-no. Roman said we would meet up for dinner here but it’s been almost an hour and he’s still not here!” He sobbed. Patton turned to him and it broke Logan’s heart to see his friend so distraught. “Do you think he lied to me?” He whispered, sounding scared.

Logan used his thumb to wipe away a stray tear. “Or course not. He’s probably running late! Virgil was going to meet me here too, but he hasn’t showed up either,” Logan said, smiling.

Patton tilted his head in confusion. He looked like a confused puppy to be honest. “Virgil’s never late to anything,” he said.

“I know, that’s why I’m a little concerned,” Logan sighed. Then he pulled out his phone. “I’ll call him and ask if he’s okay.”

Logan pulled out his phone and dialed Virgil’s number, praying he would pick up this time. Thankfully, he did.

“Hey Logan?” It was more of a question than a greeting. “How’s it going?”

“Where are you?” Logan asked, tapping his foot in frustration. “It’s been forty minutes! And do you know where Roman is? He stood Patton up and I found him crying outside the building!” He seethed.

On the other end, Virgil sighed. “I-I’m sorry okay? It was Remy’s idea. And Roman’s sitting right next to me.”

“What’s going on?! What was Remy’s idea?!” Logan cried.

Logan heard some movement on the other side and suddenly, Roman was the one in possession of the phone.

“Okay, L, listen up! You and Patton obviously have deep romantic feelings for each other and neither of you are doing a thing about it! So me, Remy, and Virgil set you guys up on a date! You’re welcome!” Roman said smugly. “Now go enjoy your date!” He declared before hanging up.

“Roman? Roman!” Logan yelled into the phone, hoping it would bring him back. 

“Is everything okay?” Patton asked. Thankfully, his tears had dried by now and was looking a little less sad.

“Yes. They’re both fine. For now,” Logan added, stuffing his phone back into his pocket.

“What do you mean ‘for now’?” Patton asked, raising an eyebrow. When Logan didn’t answer he pressed further. “Logan, what do you mean?”

Logan sighed. “They set us up on a date by asking both of us to attend a dinner and ditching us both. Leaving us to spend the night together,” he explained.

“Oh! That’s not so bad, right?” Patton asked.

Logan shrugged, but smiled nonetheless. “Yeah, you’re right,” he said. Then he took Patton’s hand and led him to the front door and opened it. “Shall we?”

Patton giggled. “We shall.”

A few years later, the partner-owned animal shelter would become a family business, but for now they would enjoy dinner dates every Sunday and movie night almost every day after work. All thanks to their friends.

Logan was still going to tear them apart later, though.

[ilovefandoms102]

Part 29*

Summary: A lot of crying later and we finally end on a happy note for the Pogues...

Taglist:

@outerbongs @ma10427 @iamaunicorn4704 @agirlwholovescoffee @jeyramarie @lonely-kermit @gviosca @jellyfishbeansontoast @lasnaro @justcallmesams @lopineapples @fernweh-fangirl @runway-to-my-aid @tangledinsparkles @hurricane-abigail @eb15 @judayyyw

AU:Part 24 Part 25  Part 26 Part 27 Part 28 Part 30  Part 31

Note: As always let me know what you guys think! 

Song referenced: You’ll be in my Heart-Phil Collins(I love Disney ok and I love this song and it fits the narrative)

=======================

The nurses surrounding my very bleeding leg gave me a stern look, I shifted uncomfortably on the bed. I knew I was in for it since I broke out of here not even two days ago. I was already pushing it coming in without a legal guardian. Thankfully, John B. and I turn 18 soon, so we won’t have to deal with that for much longer. My heart was still racing from the events that occurred a few hours ago, finding JJ beaten like that....it was going to give me nightmares for I don’t know how long....I was snapped out of my thoughts when I tuned in to one nurse shouting at me.

“How on earth could you have already ripped your stitches Miss Routledge?!” one of the nurses shouted.

“Ummm, I fell?” I said, gripping John B.’s hand tighter. 

“Whatever the story may be, we have to redo your stitches, I’ll be right back.” she said.

I hated needles more than anything on this planet. JJ was in another room getting checked for his injuries, so I made John B. sit with me while they retied my stitches. As soon as we got here, they had to relocate my shoulder. It was the most relieving pain because it felt so much better after, but now I have to wear a stupid sling for a few weeks to make sure it stays in place.

“Are you JJ Maybank’s family?” another nurse asked, peaking her head into the room. 

“Yes,” I said.

“Must have been some surfing accident to get that deep of a cut, and all those tinier cuts along with it. There was also a lot of deep bruising, he will need to take it easy for a few weeks. I’ll let him know what room your in, they are finishing up his paperwork.” she said, narrowing her eyes at us before exiting the room.

“They probably hate us,” I chuckled.

“No doubt about it, I’m really surprised with the amount of shit we have gotten away with.” John B. said. The nurse came back in, JJ trailing behind her. He took John B.’s place, leaning to kiss my cheek. John B. went to the waiting room, he wanted to check up on Sarah. 

“You alright sweetheart?” JJ asked, brushing my hair out of my face.

“I should be asking you that Maybank,” I giggled, using my good hand to gently cup his face. He leaned into my hand, turning to kiss my palm. 

“Are you ready dear?” the nurse asked, adjusting her glasses.

“As ready as I’ll ever be.” I mumbled.

==============================

Many terrifying minutes later, we met John B. out in the waiting room. I was being pushed out in a wheel chair, despite my efforts since I could walk fine. 

“You all are making a fuss over nothing, I’m fine.” I huffed.

“You lost a lot of blood sweets, the Doc told me you’re lucky you didn’t need a blood transfusion. Just enjoy the special treatment while it lasts.” JJ said, leaning down to kiss my head. 

JJ helped me up from the wheelchair, holding my hand as we walked to where John B. had parked. JJ rolled us a blunt on the ride home, both of us needing to be let off edge. We have had a trying week no thanks to Barry and Rafe.

“How did you guys know where I was?” JJ asked, my eyes widening a little. I really did not want to tell him that his dad basically knew where he was the entire time.

“Ummm...” John B, mumbled, shifting uncomfortably in his seat. JJ looked at me expectantly.

“I-uh...” I stuttered. 

“We asked your dad at Barry’s house,” Pope blurted out.

“Pope!” I yelled, smacking him in the head.

JJ sat frozen in his seat, his eyes as wide as saucers. I stared at him, not knowing if I should say something, or just let him process it on his own terms. We arrived at the chateau, Pope and John B. basically leaping out of the van. I sat with JJ whose gaze had now moved to the floor of the van. I moved slightly closer to him, not wanting to push him when he wasn’t ready for me.

“Baby,” I whispered, moving as slow as possible. I gently ran my shaking hand through his messy hair, brushing my fingers against his cheek.

“He knew where I was?” JJ asked, his eyes slowly trailing up to meet mine.

“Yeah,” I whispered, the pain I felt for JJ started to consume me. JJ laughed, shaking his head. The tears coming to the surface of his eyes, I could feel my own threatening to spill as well.

“What’d he say?” JJ asked.

“JJ I-” I tried, but was interrupted.

“What. Did. He. Say. Tell me.” JJ demanded, his teeth clenching together. His hands shook as they grabbed my one good hand. I wanted to crash into his arms and make all of his pain go away.

“Ok J...he said, ‘that’s what you get for messing with the wrong people’.” I said softly. 

JJ busted out of the van, going towards his bike. I hurried after him, already knowing what he was going to do. JJ roughly stepped on the started, the bike stuttered as it tried to start up.

“That son of a bitch...wrong people my ass. He sits and get’s high all the fucking time, can’t even stay awake most of the day. Spends every dime he has on drugs, but yet I run with the wrong people?” JJ says, mostly to himself than to me. 

“JJ, please just stay here with me. I don’t want you to do something you’re going to regret later, please.” I said, standing beside him.

“Gonna have to put that on hold baby, I’ll be back. That I promise you.” JJ said firmly, kissing me before finally getting the bike to start up. I ran in front of him, ripping my sling off as I put both of my hands on the handlebars.

“JJ, please. I just got you back.” I croaked, staring deep into his eyes.

“Put your fucking sling back on!” he yelled, his eyes filled with rage. 

“I will when you come inside with me.” I said sternly, squeezing the handlebars tighter when he tried to move back. 

“MOVE THE FUCK OUT OF THE WAY DAMMIT!” JJ bellowed, the vein popping out of his neck. I stood my ground, I knew he wasn’t angry at me. His bottom lip started quivering, his knuckles turning white from how hard he gripped the handlebars.

“No,” I said, and he broke down. 

He sobbed loudly, getting off his bike. He kicked it over, screaming at it. He kicked, punched, and threw whatever he could get his hands on. This being a better alternative than him confronting his dad. He threw his hat on the ground, pulling at his hair. 

He looked back at me, his eyes rimmed red, and his hair sticking out in every direction. I held my arms out to him, and he crashed hard into me. We both sat on the ground, JJ crying hard into my chest. I laid my head on top of his, rubbing his back as he cried. 

“I’m here honey bear,” I whispered, my lips brushing his hairline. 

“He’s done nothing, but give me a shitty life. I-I just...I want him to love me.” JJ sobbed, my heart breaking even more.

“I know baby, but I love you. John B., Pope, Kie, and Sarah love you. You will always, always have us JJ. Until the very end.” I said as soft tears flew down my cheeks.

“You’re my saving grace. The good I needed in my life...You make me want to be a better person, to be more than what people make me out to be because of my parents. You have no idea how much you mean to me.” JJ said, burying his face further into me. 

======================

We were all gathered in the kitchen and the living room of the chateau.

“Have you went to see your parents yet Sarah?” Kie asked.

“No, I was hoping we could all go together.” she said, all of us snapping our heads to look at her.

“Sarah,” John B. whisper yelled, throwing his hands out telling her to stop talking.

“You all are apart of this baby’s life, I think it’s important for all of us to come together.” she said, shrugging her shoulders.

“Do you already have pregnancy brain?” I asked.

“We stole money from your dad and you think we can just walk up in there like nothing happened?” JJ asked, getting more irritated by the second.

“I think we can come to a truce, for the baby” she said softly.

“Are you fucking kidding me?! Not only did your piece of shit dad kill my father, he tried to kill me, hurt you, stole 400 MILLION dollars from us, and your brother sexually assaulted me! So no Sarah, I’m not interested in coming to a truce. I want the gold back, my dad, and the nightmares to go away! But I won’t get that will I?” I screamed, the rage blocking out any sensible thoughts that came after my outburst. 

“Babe-” JJ said, trying to grab my arm.

“No, I will not EVER forgive your family Sarah Cameron. I will love and help you with this baby, but I will NOT be anywhere near your father or brother.” I stated firmly.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea to tell your dad anyways. Since you’re still a minor, he can take the baby away from you.” Pope mumbled, clearly uncomfortable from my outburst. 

“Pope’s right Sarah, I know you want to believe your family is good, but you have to face the fact that they aren’t.” Kie said softly. 

Sarah began to tear up, I felt bad for yelling at her. I walked over to where she was sitting, she began to sob. I sat beside her and she leaned on me as she cried, my brother coming to her opposite side to rub her back. I started singing to her softly, she hugged me tighter. I stroked her hair, keeping my gaze to the floor as I flowed through the song. 

“We’re gonna be alright guys,” John B. said after I finished.

“JB is right, we can do this.” Kie said.

“Have any of you raised a baby before?” Pope asked.

“Can’t be that hard,” JJ said, pushing his hair back as he slapped his hat on.

“We’ll figure it out, together.” I said, squeezing Sarah one more time before standing up.

“Now, enough of the dramatics, I say we hit the waves. What do ya say Pogues?!” I asked excitedly.

I earned cheers and whoops from my group, Pope high fiving me. We got our stuff together to head out, Pope and Kie having to run to their houses. So all that was left in the house was John B., Sarah, JJ, and I.

“You’re amazing sweets” JJ said, laying on my bed as I got ready.

“I don’t know about that JJ” I chuckled, having a difficult time tying my top with my arm constricted.

“Let me help you,” he whispered, coming behind me. He leaned down, kissing my shoulder. I smiled at the action, my heart fluttering.

“You’re so sweet,” I said softly, turning to wrap my good arm around his neck. I kissed his nose, he scrunched it up at me causing me to giggle. 

He puckered his lips, asking for a real kiss. I granted him one immediately, missing the feeling of his soft lips against mine. I traced his bottom lip with my tongue, asking for entry. Our kiss heated up immediately, all our pent up emotions coming out. Teeth, lips, and tongues clashed together. Just as I was sliding his shirt up he stopped me.

“I don’t want to hurt you baby,” he whispered, his breath fanning my lips.

“You let me worry about that,” I smirked, pushing him towards the bed.

“Babe seriously,” JJ said, putting his hands on my hips as he sat on the bed.

“J, I’m fine.” I said, taking my sling off. 

JJ grabbed me and flipped our positions, so that I was laying down with him on top of me. He smiled at me, both of us staring intensely into each others eyes. He kissed each bruise that was in sight, kissing my bad shoulder last. He went lower, kissing the tops of my breasts. He rubbed my nipple with his thumb through my bikini top, I gasped quietly. He sucked it through the fabric, teasing me by rubbing my other nipple. I squirmed under his hold, he chuckled at me. 

“What’s wrong babe?” he asked, kissing my lips quickly.

“You know what you’re doing Maybank,” I gritted through my teeth.

“I do?” he asked, pretending like he didn’t know. I huffed at him, pulling at his hair.

He kissed me again, moaning in my mouth as I scratched his scalp. He kissed down my neck again, trailing lower and lower. He got to my shorts, being mindful of my heavily bandaged leg as he took them off with my undies. He threw my legs over his shoulders, grasping my hands. He kissed my pubic bone before taking a long lick from the bottom to my clit. He moaned, the vibrations making my legs twitch.

“All this for me baby?” JJ asked, blowing air on my heat.

“Yes J, all for you.” I gasped, wiggling my hips.

“And only me right baby?” JJ questioned, starting to slowly lick around me.

“Yes! Only you baby, please.” I whined, throwing my head back.

JJ dove in, licking and sucking at me like he hadn’t ate in an entire year. I tried to let go of his hands so I could bury them in his hair, but he held tight on them. He put both our hands on my stomach, using them to hold me down. I wanted to buck my hips into him, but couldn’t. He slurped at the juices seeping out of me, his tongue hitting a spot that had me seeing stars. I gasped loudly when he chuckled into me. He came back up to suck on my clit hard, shaking his head to get further into me. I had to bite my lip to keep myself from crying out. JJ let go of my hands, moving his hands up to my breasts. He pulled my top down taking both my nipples to twist and tweak them. I came hard on his tongue, using my free hands now to push at his head. He licked and sucked at the cum leaking out of me. 

I was still breathing hard when JJ kissed his way back up to my lips. I could taste myself on his tongue. JJ tore his shirt off, taking a condom from the drawer by the bed. He ripped it open, rolling it on before plunging into me. I grasped at his biceps, still sensitive from moments ago. JJ leaned down to groan against my neck, right by my ear. 

“Fuck, I can’t get enough of you my love” JJ whispered, nipping my earlobe.

“I feel the same way sweetheart,” I whispered back, pulling his head up to kiss his lips. 

JJ started off slow, the both of us basking in the feel of each other. The feeling of him inside me filling my body with so much pleasure I probably could have already came again. JJ’s pace picked up, taking one of my legs higher up on his waist. I moved my hips to meet his, being mindful of my injured leg. The burning started in the pit of my stomach again, slowly building a release in me. My breathing became more labored as I pushed my hips up faster. JJ got my message and pushed faster into me, grabbing my hips to hold me down as he started pounding into me. I cried out, biting my hand to keep myself quiet. JJ moved one of his hands to rub at my clit, his pace on my nub matching his thrusts. We both lasted only a few more seconds before both of us came. JJ stilling inside of me as he filled the condom with his seed, I twitched and clenched on him. My legs shaking as I came down from my high.

JJ collapsed beside of me, both of our breathing heavy, we looked at each other and laughed. Both of us overwhelmed with the pleasure we gave to one another. JJ kissed my nose, now my turn to scrunch it at him. We laid there for a moment before a pounding came at my door.

“Can you guys hurry the fuck up?! I’m really about to leave without you all.” John B. yelled, clearly knowing what we were up to.

“Let’s go” I giggled, getting up from the bed.

“I love you” JJ said, staring at me as I got dressed.

“Come on Blondie, we got waves to catch.” I said, patting his ass when he turned away from me.

“Woah now, keep your grubby hands to yourself.” JJ teased, throwing his clothes one. 

“I can’t help myself baby,” I said, throwing myself in his arms dramatically. 

“You’re silly,” he chuckled, he kissed me softly. Before I knew it, the sly fucker trailed his hands down to slap my ass hard. His rings stinging into my skin, I gasped into his mouth.

“That hurt you asshole,” I laughed, rubbing my sore behind.

“Now when we get to the beach if any guy tries to look at you, they’ll see my rings imprinted on your ass baby.” JJ laughed, I shoved him playfully.

“Now who’s being silly,” I giggled, throwing my bag over my shoulder as we headed out.

“Still you sweets” JJ said, throwing his aviators on.

“I forgot to say it back, but I love you sweetheart.” I cooed, kissing his cheek.

“You guys are disgustingly cute,” Sarah sighed, rubbing her little baby bump.

=============================

[wordsfromthesol]

An Eye for an Eye

Author: @wordsfromthesol Taglist: @ghost-brocolli Pairing: Dick Grayson x Reader Summary: Slade is looking for revenge, and unfortunately his eyes are set on you. Warnings: All those usual things Word Count: 1.4k A/N: Requested by @riseofnightwing

It had been several years since the Titans had formed. The four…then five of you worked together like a well-oiled machine. Though you hadn’t been without your challenges. It got a little complicated when you and Dick started dating. And then again when Dick had a slight mental breakdown, but eventually his mind cleared, and he became Nightwing.

**

You were thankful when Wonder Girl joined the team. It was nice to finally have another girl to help you navigate the masculinity. The two of you quickly became best friends…which is why when you learned you were pregnant; she was the first one you told. Even if it had been a few months already.

“I mean Donna, what am I supposed to do? How can I bring a child into this life?”

“Well, what did Dick say?”

Your eyes fell to the floor, “I haven’t exactly told him yet…”

“Y/N  Y/M/N.”

“I just can’t find the words! It took me two months to gain the courage to tell you…I’m just not good with words.”

“Y/N, this isn’t something you can avoid. You need to tell him.”

You love Donna, and you know she was right…but you had been hoping for some better advice. Instead of going to find Dick, you headed to the training room instead. Unfortunately, you had only been in there an hour before Dick found you.

“Y/N, I’ve been looking everywhere for you. We need to talk about that last mission.”

“Well, you found me.” You said with a little more bite than necessary. Ever since you found out you had been pushing Dick further and further away. You just couldn’t handle looking into his unsuspecting eyes, yet every time you were close to telling him something always interrupted.

“And you’re in a great mood, I see.”

“Just trying to figure some things out.”

“Hmm…something involving me?”

“Well –”, and there you were cut off again Garth and Wally entered the room. You let out a sigh as your eyes trailed towards them. Dick quickly pulled you out of the room.

“Y/N, I don’t know what’s up with you, but you need to figure it out. I what were you thinking on that last mission?! You walked right into an obvious ambush. You’re just lucky Donna followed you.”

“Well I’m so sorry we can’t all be perfect little Dick Graysons!”

Dick rolled his eyes, “That is so not the point, and you know it. You could’ve gotten yourself and Donna killed. Then you come back here and completely avoid everyone for days?”

“There’s shit going on you don’t understand.”

“Maybe if you actually tried talking to me…you know your boyfriend for the past FOUR years…I would understand.”

Before you could try to explain you felt a familiar sickness creeping up in your esophagus. You ran out of the room, ensuring that the argument would soon become a much bigger one.

After the lovely pregnancy induced sickness subsided, you decided to go for a walk along the river. What you didn’t know a familiar enemy was stalking you, for days now. He was waiting for the right time to move…and you just gave him the perfect one.

**

It had been nearly half a day since you had spoken with Donna and she was beginning to worry…so she went off in search for Dick.

“Have you seen Y/N lately?”

“Nope.”

“What do you mean? Didn’t she come talk to you?”

“I guess you can call it that…”

“Well, how are you feeling about it?”

“Feeling? I’m fucking pissed off Donna. She’s going to get herself killed if she keeps acting like this.”

“Wait…” Donna paused, realizing Dick was still in the dark. “When was the last time you saw her?”

“I don’t know, about four hours ago I guess.”

“And she didn’t say where she was going?”

“Nope. In true Y/N fashion she ran off to avoid confrontation.”

“Wally!” Donna yelled for her teammate, who appeared before her as the last syllable escaped from her lips. “I need you to check the city for Y/N.”

“Why? Did something happen?” The speedster exchanged worried glances with Dick and Donna.

“I just have a bad feeling…and no one’s seen her in hours.”

Wally nodded in acknowledgement before taking off. Donna paced back and forth for several minutes, waiting on Wally’s return. Unfortunately, when he did, the news was not good.

“I couldn’t find her anywhere. Are you sure she didn’t leave the city?”

Donna sighed and looked up at Dick, “There’s something you should know.”

**

You woke up in a dark room, strapped to a table. The metal bands stretched across your collarbone, wrists, and ankles. Blinking rapidly, you waited for your eyes to adjust…though once you recognized the infamous orange and black armor you wished they hadn’t.

“Slade…what did I do to deserve this honor?”

“Recent developments have made you part of my revenge.”

“And those would be?”

“Oh don’t be coy…you’ve got a little birdie growing.”

Your eyes widened in astonishment, “Wh…how?”

Your captor just laughed as he strode out of the room, leaving you alone with your thoughts.

**

“WHY WOULDN’T SHE TELL ME?!”

“Somehow I think you already know that answer to that question. And you also know that is not the most important thing right now.”

“Where could she be?”

“We’ll find her. Everyone is looking. Wally, Barry, Kara, and Clark are searching around the world. Bruce and Tim are digging online. Even Jason is hassling his underground contacts. We’ll find her.”

“You don’t think…”

“Dick, she wouldn’t leave. But do you really think that’s worse than her being captured?”

“I don’t…I don’t know.”

Wally bursts through the door, “Dick. We found her. It’s Slade.”

Dick eyes widened with worry, “Where?”

**

“SLADE! It’s been hours, what do you what with me?!” The figure sauntered in the room.

“So impatient. Now is the waiting game. I intend to take from yours what he took from mine.”

“Which is exactly?”

“A child for a child, a family for a family.”

“Dick didn’t take your child or family from you. You did that on your own. Your own selfishness and stupidity took them.” Within seconds you felt a painful sting against your cheek.

“Insolent child! You know nothing!”

“Is your memory so fragile? I was there. I know everything!” Pain shot through your leg this time. Glancing down, you saw a huge gash across your thigh, and Slade was nowhere in sight.

You had begun to loose track of time, but soon you heard voices…voices that were not Slade. You decided to take the risk.

“I’m here!” You bellowed out in hopes that the voices where friends. Wally appeared before you in seconds.

“Y/N!”

“Wally, quick…get these things off of me. Slade’s here, it’s a trap.”

“We know. The others are on it.”

“He wants Dick.”

“Would’ve never guessed that one.” Wally rolled his eyes as he helped you up from the table. “My job is to get you safely out. You’re injured…oh and pregnant. Thanks for letting us all know.”

“Wally I –” you began but you quickly clasped his hand over your mouth. He picked you up and began to run, but the two of you were promptly thrown to the ground.

“You didn’t think I would just let you go?” Slade questioned. You slowly pushed yourself up from the ground.

“Oh, still navigating the trap I set, I assume. They’ll be alive, after all he needs to see this.”

“Y/N, run.” Wally sped towards Deathstroke as you attempted to make your way towards the exit. As you came upon the door, you stumbled into Dick.

“Get her out!” Donna cried as she launched herself forward to help Wally, Garth following closely behind.

**

You weren’t sure how you made it out, or how the others did. The next time you opened your eyes you were back in your room at Titans Tower, Dick drifting into sleep at your side.

“Dick…” You watched as his eyes fluttered open next to you and felt a slight pressure in your hand.

“It’s okay Y/N, I know.”

“But so does Slade…” Dick enveloped you in a tight hug.

“We’ll figure it out. I promise.”

[backtothestart02]

The Dream That You Wish - 1/1 | RC - 7x15

A/N: Title inspired by the song lyrics from Cinderella. Not my best work, but I hope you still like it!

...

Synopsis: Post 7x15 - Barry and Iris process the negative test result.

...

Iris didn’t think she’d ever waited this long for a phone call. If she was feeling better, she would’ve insisted on Barry flashing her to the lab with him. They should be together for this. She knew they should. But Barry, what with him not trusting regular pregnancy stick tests from the store, had insisted on doing this in the most scientific way possible – in a lab. She supposed she couldn’t blame him. He wanted to be sure. And this way, when he came back with a big grin on his face announcing the result was positive, she could be sure it was too.

She couldn’t stop smiling just thinking about it. She stayed snuggled up on the couch, watching the front door for his arrival, be it phased through or normally unlocked and him walking in.

She had never really taken credence for dreams, but they had been trying to get pregnant for weeks now. If Barry believed Nora had somehow come from the future into his dream to tell them they were pregnant, who was she to argue? It would make for a very cute story when they told everyone, and when they told Nora when she was older too.

When a half hour passed and then forty-five minutes though…she started to worry.

Where was he? Why was it taking so long? Was there another interruption or explosion at the lab? What could be causing his delay?

And then, the sound of a key unlocking the front door pulled her from her thoughts. She gasped, excitedly, and got up from her spot on the couch. She approached the door, wanting to be right there with him when he told her the good news.

The sound of tinkering continued though, and she frowned, staring at the knob. It was the longest she could have ever imagined someone taking unlocking a door.

“Uh, Barry?” she finally called out. “Do you want me to jus-”

The door swung open, and there Barry stood, looking pathetic and miserable and just plain sad.

Her shoulders slumped.

“I’m not pregnant, am I?”

Barry lifted his eyes to her, suddenly aware that this was not going as planned, it seemed. He opened his mouth to contradict her, but she knew she was right. She sighed and pulled the door open further, stepping to the side.

“It’s alright, Barry, come inside.”

Reluctantly, he crossed the threshold, then closed the door and followed her into the living room where they sat down on the couch together.

“Iris, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have gotten your hopes up. I was just so…so sure that it-”

“I know, Barry. I know. It’s okay. Maybe just…don’t take so much stock in your dreams in the future. It could’ve just been you wanting it so bad that-”

“Yeah, I know. I’m sorry,” he said again.

“You don’t need to keep apologizing. It’s okay, Barry.”

He nodded.

“This just means I’m just plain sick. No baby inside whatsoever.” Her bottom lip started to quiver without warning, and tears filled her eyes. “So, as soon as I’m better, we’ll get to work trying again, and we’ll just try and try and try…until we…until we can’t anymore.” She sniffled, the tears now running down her cheeks. She lifted her gaze to his. “Right?” Her voice squeaked.

“Oh, Iris.”

He closed the distance between them immediately, holding her close to his chest as she racked heavy sobs and clung to him tightly. He rubbed her back soothingly, hating that for all of Cecile’s efforts, he’d come home looking just as defeated as he felt when he first got the test results.

“We’ll get pregnant, Iris. We will. Some people it…it just takes longer with.”

She sniffled. “Who told you that?”

He hesitated, wondering now if it wasn’t the best time to admit that Cecile was all up in their pregnancy business because of her mind-reading, emotion-sensing abilities.

“I read it somewhere.”

She laugh-cried into his shirt.

“Probably one of those bajillion parenting books we got. That we might not even need!” She cried harder.

“Iris, we will.”

He cupped her face lovingly.

“I swear we will. After everything that happened with the forces…we just need to keep trying. We were meant to be parents.”

She choke-laughed.

“Who told you that? My dad?”

He shrugged innocently.

“Maybe? At some point? I don’t know. I just believe it.”

She sighed shakily, her tears fast dissipating into little sniffles. She snuggled into him again.

“How are you feeling?” he asked, rubbing her back soothingly again.

“Ugh. Better. I haven’t thrown up in hours. I don’t know why I didn’t notice. It was probably just that takeout food we had last night that didn’t sit right with me.” She sighed. “I just want it so bad, Bear.”

“I know.” He wiped away a remaining tear. “And we’ll get it. I know we will.”

“How?” she asked, needing to know. “How do you know? Besides your dream,” she said, looking away briefly.

His laugh was strained. His tilted her face back towards his gently.

“Because, while you were gone in the Mirrorverse, Wally came for a visit when the speed force was dying.”

“I remember,” she said, and his eyes widened in surprise. “Eva…” She swallowed hard. “Let me see it, when Wally came. I could see some things through the mirrors and windows over there. I saw…”

She felt him tense and knew she had to stop. They’d already talked about this, and Barry had felt so guilty when she first came back. She didn’t want to bring that on him again. Not after he was already feeling bad about the negative test result following his dream with Nora.

“Well, I saw when Wally came at STAR Labs.” She nibbled on her bottom lip. “Keep going,” she encouraged.

He was hesitant to delve into what she’d missed, but he could see there was no going back now.

“He’d experienced different things in the speed force before Crisis,” he explained. “Said he’d seen his future kids and Nora as speedsters, and all of them running together.”

Her eyes watered again, but this time they were happy tears.

“That sounds wonderful.”

“I know he hasn’t come to visit since, but with the speed force back…I’m sure he’s seen those same things again. Unless he has to run through the speed lab to get his speed back. I’m not really sure.” His brows furrowed together in confusion, and Iris thought he looked adorable.

“It’s okay, Barry. We’ll call Wally soon, tell him everything.” She took his hands in her own and held them tightly. “Maybe he can help with these Godspeed clones popping up everywhere.” She chuckled lightly, but she sighed shakily.

“Iris…”

“Hmm?”

“We will get pregnant.”

She fought to smile, but she did smile. Snuggling into him, she said,

“I know.”

“Movie tonight?” he asked, and she nodded.

“Yeah, I could use the distraction.”

“How about a romantic comedy?��� He suggested, detaching from her so he could set up the movie.

“As long as they don’t get pregnant at the end.”

He winced and froze, looking back at her.

“Sorry,” she said.

“No need. The Notebook?”

It wasn’t really a comedy, but suddenly she wanted to watch nothing more.

“Yeah. We only see the adult kids in that one, and we’ve already experienced that.”

Barry wished he could do more, but since he knew he couldn’t, he fished out the remote and set up Netflix to find The Notebook.

“Can I get you some soup?” he asked, handing her the remote when it was all set up.

She smiled tentatively.

“Yeah, thanks. And popcorn.”

He raised his eyebrows.

“It’s a movie.”

He chuckled but nodded.

“Okay, soup and popcorn it is.”

Then he disappeared from sight.

Iris pressed play on the remote and the movie began to play. She leaned back on the couch to watch her husband cook and smiled. She had a good husband, and he did try so hard to please her. They would still have Nora. If they believed in it hard enough and just kept trying, it would happen.

She had to believe that. They both did.

[poc-movie-supremacy]

Survivor

A.N.: This is my first Supergirl fic! It’s about Kara throughout her entire life. I hope you guys like it! Reblogs, comments, and likes are all appreciated. Enjoy!

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She’s survived a lot. It’s written in her blood, survival. When she was a kid, krypton exploded and she was one of the few left to tell it’s stories. No matter what happens to National City she’s still their, protecting it and helping its citizens. 

On Earth, she has superpowers. Kara can fly, breathe fire or ice, has super strength and impenetrable skin, and so much more. It’s overwhelming at first, to have so much power, but no control over it. She thrives though, she survives and lives on. 

The entire world ends.

It’s quiet. 

Kara lives. 

She wishes she didn’t.

For three months she keeps busy. Trains with Sara (going easy of course) telling Kate stories, meditates with J’onn. When Barry is still in the vanishing point, she curls up to him. He’s a speedster so he runs warm, and it’s comforting. He’s almost practically mute now, but occasionally he’ll tell her something nice or funny or observant. When he goes something of hers goes with him.

Oliver shows up and she feels pain. Unrelenting horrible all consuming pain. It should’ve been her. Why is it never her? He comes bearing good news, a way to save everyone. For once, surviving doesn’t feel like a curse. 

Kara feels guilty when she prefers new Earth to her old one. Life’s easier now, she can turn on the news to get a general idea of how her friends are doing, hell she can fly over. She’s on a group chat with the other reporters like the CC Citizen and she can visit Kate whenever she wants to. 

She relishes those moments with Kate. It’s funny to fly over and visit, scaring the daylights out of her. She’s a bit new to the whole superhero thing, so Kara sometimes gives her tips to avoid common pitfalls that happen to befal every other hero (besides the legends) she’s met. In the end it seems for naught.

Kate is reported dead.

All the heroes are scrambling for a solution, looking for a way to fix this. It’s not easy considering Kara has learned she also can’t change in front of a reflective surface lest she want Iris to watch her change, but she manages. Kara survives it’s what she’s always done. She’s starting to think it’s all she can do. 

They get Kate back and their happy for a while. She remembers something Kal told her, Kryptonians live longer than humans, but she brushes that thought away. How true can it be anyways?

When her and Kate get married, they live in Gotham. Kara can easily fly to National City when need be and Alex and Nia seem to have it under control anyways.

Growing older is fun. She and Kate only adopt Parker, but that’s enough for either of them. With the extra time, they can travel the world, be the fun aunt and drunk aunt, life is nice. On spare days she goes to Central City to visit, Team Flash and their kids. Her and Barry watch musicals while her and Iris gossip over celebrities and watch comedies together. Nora is nice, she’s just like her father. Over in Star City, Mia’s a firecracker. William’s a jaded teen. Drinks are shared between Dinah and Laurel and her, but she has tea with Felicity. Kara can’t wait to see what the next generation is like. 

The breaching devices Cisco made are never more handy than when all of them reach their 60′s. (Felicity and Constantine don’t make it to their 60′s. Felicity rejoins Oliver at 59 and lung cancer takes Constantine at 52) The funerals were nice. Then there’s a funeral for Joe then Ralph then Caitlyn. Cat Grant is the first one out of anyone on Team Supergirl to die, then Maggie, and Brainy. It’s unsettling how normal it’s seems. She mourns yes, but as Clark said, Kryptonians live longer than humans. This was to be expected.

Kara holds onto those she has left. When she’s seventy-five (relatively this is discounting the years she was in the phantom zone) all the original team arrow members have passed. Gary says they’re doing well, apparently he can  talk to ghosts. 

When she hits seventy-nine almost everyone she knows has died. 

It turns out liver poisoning is what finally buries Sara six feet under. Kara is surprised at the normalcy of it. 

She can count on her fingers those she has left (not counting her nieces and nephews) Barry, Iris, Alex, Kate, Clark, J’onn and Gary. Gary tells good stories and can do nice tricks. Apparently he accidently took a limber spell once when he meant to take a fire proof spell once in his late sixties which is how he got the scar on his right hip and is so well limber in his old age. 

Barry and Iris go next. In their sleep, Barry spooning Iris, protecting her. The coroner tells Kara that Iris died first then Barry’s heartbeat picked up before finally giving out. She likes to think that Barry realized he was done running after Iris passed, she likes to think that they went up to heaven hand in hand. Kara cries at their funeral. She thought she had more time with Barry. The tributes to pulitzer prize winner Iris West-Allen makes her smile. 

Kara becomes more attentive towards Kate and Alex. She fears the day when they leave too. (and they will because Kara survives, she always does.)

In her free time she and Clark train the newest generation of heroes. She may not understand technology, but she can still fight and her morals still hold true after all these years. 

Clark dies next. Sacrificing himself for the world. The world mourns superman. Kara mourns Kal-el. She makes sure he’s buried in the baby blanket he was wrapped in when he was sent to earth. His last words ring in her ear, thank you for protecting me. She wonders if she really did protect her baby cousin. 

Kara steps back from her duties with the new heroes. There’s no bad blood, it’s just, she has so little family left, she wants to hold onto them for as long as she can. 

Kate goes in her sleep. The minute the body next to her is cold, Kara wakes up. Life seems slightly more dull after that. While in mourning, she makes the statements and divides up Kate’s money. Night’s are cold. She remembers when Kate was gone, but she remembers that time she smushed ice cream in her face, took her flying, admired her in a pretty dress. Nightly, she goes onto her balcony and whispers, Patience my love. Kara has survived a lot, she knows she won’t be biting the bullet anytime soon. 

Kara thinks Alex’s death might hurt the most. She had hit her head, and there was no saving her. Kara held her as she slowly passed away, singing old kryptonian lullabies to her. Her and J’onn cry at the funeral. For once, she accepts Gary’s offer to speak to the dead. It’s healing. Gary dies exactly 6 months after Alex. She’s thankful for his friendship in their old age. Because of him she’s been able to get peace after her families passings. She is sad to see him go.

Her loved ones words ring in her ear. We are fine, take your time love. Keep an eye on the kids for us. We love you. 

She keeps her promise. Every morning she puts on her supergirl suit and helps the next generation. She think she looks silly in her old supergirl outfit with her silver hair and wrinkles, but the kids look at her like she’s a badass. Kara gives them tips on how to be a hero through stories she tells of her misadventures with her friends, their ancestors. It’s vague and if she were the one listening she’d be pissed, but this method is hilarious. Anyways, it cultivates patience, long attention spans, and critical thinking. Her method works. J’onn is impressed. He dies on a sunday. Three days before the new recruits’, her family’s first end of the world. 

All her life, Kara Zor-el has survived. Survived heartbreak, death,  the end of the freaking world. Now at her like fifteenth end of the world, she knows it’s time. She wishes her descendents (ish great-nieces and great-nephews potato potato) good luck and sacrifices herself for them. The heavens whisper to her, warrior you are finally done fighting and now she’s at peace.