#I couldn't come up with a unique title
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having so much fun coming up with titles for the chapters of my story...why can't I come up with a title for the whole book!!
#editor suggested just scribbling some stuff#like keywords from the plot or things that really strike me#i also spent some time wandering around the YA and adult sections of a library looking at the titles and summaries of a bunch of the books#trying to see what kinds of things draw people#i was kind of surprised by how simple a lot of them are#like single words or a generic phrase#maybe i'm thinking TOO hard about it#i'm just personally not a fan of one-word titles or titles that are just names of characters#and how most YA books nowadays have titles that are '[single word] & [single word]'#definitely not going that direction#it's like. my book doesn't have some unique stunning CONCEPT#it's a conglomeration of a bunch of themes and tropes and vibes that i really enjoy#bc i couldn't find the exact book i wanted to read anywhere#i figured i had to be the one to write it#but after more than four years with this story#I STILL CAN'T COME UP WITH A HALFWAY DECENT TITLE FOR IT#the struggle is REAL#writing is hard#writing#queer writers#queer stories
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Delicious In Dungeon Having a Crush on You HC's!
☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:
Summary: Just like the title says, how they would act if they had a crush on you including how you find out!
Pt.2 w Kabru, Shuro and Falin!
☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆ ☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*°☆.。.:*
Senshi:
-I'm not going to lie it is going to take a fat minute for him to fess up his feelings for you let alone for people to notice because it is the little things that stand out.
-Senshi is really good at keeping secrets and is a really private person and fights for his peace
-So what if he may slip a little bit more food onto your plate, make your favorite dishes only for you if the ingredients for it just so happens to be in his bag, is always the first person to get you out of a dangerous situation? It's all out of convenience and being kind
-But his lack of casualty is also really telling like when giving out compliments he sometimes has a tinge of shyness to his voice, "You look...very nice y-yes"
-The way you find out he has a crush on you is because he eventually comes to a realization that he cannot keep running away from his problems because that has never ended in anything good and confesses his feelings for you
-It happened whilst everyone was asleep and it was just you two alone by the fire, the embers were crackling and you always enjoyed watching it ablaze while talking with Senshi. Eventually he piped up after staying silent for so long and having you take the lead in talking,
"I don't mean to corner you, nor do I expect you to feel the same but...I have feelings for you, genuinely Y/N. And, meeting you in this party means the world to me as in a way you all are unique treasures but you. I couldn't imagine just walking away without letting you know how much you mean to me."
-Honestly, Senshi is one of the least in denial about this predicament with his feelings and will come to you sooner
Marcille:
-A person who completely avoids her feelings for you like the plague and will deny like her life depends on it
-She swears to others that it's just because you're an amazing friend!
-She brings you your favorite sweet treats, offers to cast magic for your slightest inconveniences, she just so happens to bring books that are about the things you mentioned one off or are a specific interest you love
-The contrast of how she treats others vs. You is so jarring and it's really obvious that she has a crush on you. She is really protective and a bit possessive (not in a weird way) over you and she does not really care about the other people in her party like that
-Anytime she's afraid of something, she holds onto you, Marcille is VERY touchy with her crush
-The blonde blushes pretty consistently and is really shy when it comes to you and tries to appear nonchalant but fails miserably
-It's honestly so bad that even Laios caught on after Senshi threw him a clue and one time when it was just him asked her, which resulted in her coming clean and being VERY distressed as if she committed a crime
-The way you find out she has a crush on you is when you're on a mission in a dungeon. She was near a weeping willow exerting mana, rumored to grant wishes to anyone who asks.
-She held a piece of paper and was on her knees, looking up at the grand tree on the soft blades of grass. She began speaking to the tree once you silently walked in through the cave hole to check on her and the half-elf was completely unknowing of your intrusion,
-"Please they're the love of my life, and I'm not asking to force them but maybe...show me a sign if they like me back. They make me feel like no other and I am just so confused and I need guidance, Ancient Willow."
Chilchuck:
-Deny. Deny. Deny. Deny.
-Oh, and did I say deny
-He absolutely hates being the person caught with egg on his face and being in the wrong, so the fact that he himself Mr. 'No Party Romances' violated his own rules?
-He wants to fall into a hole right on the spot
-While he is a grown ass man and doesn't want to be a coward, Chilchuck doesn't want to face this problem head on surprisingly (sarcasm)
-He shows his love for you by trying to keep you the safe the most out of everyone in the party, scolds you HEAVILY when you mess up that could've cost you your life
-Some may say that it's just Chilchuck's explosive nature, Senshi was actually the first to see through it and grow suspicion over his behavior but honestly didn't have enough evidence for his theory and was shot down by Laios and Marcille
-It's not extremely obvious his slight shift in treatment until you had been kidnapped by the Chain Devil to protect Chilchuck from it's clutches
-And multiple times have members of the party have been kidnapped and although shaken he was able to keep his cool...but this time it was heavily different
-He let out a horrified scream that they had never heard from the Half-Foot before. He scrambled to his feet after watching you getting pulled into the darkness, his eyes were glassy and full of panic as he asked the rest on what they should do
-When they get you back, you were too tired to really stand so you laid in the sleeping bag as everyone else slept as well, but the brown haired man never left your side and watched as you slept
-...or so he thought
-You find out about his true feelings as you laid in your sleeping bag. As you were drifting in and out consciousness but felt light weight on the side of your body and Chilchuck began to talk to you, asking if you were awake
-"Good, you're fast asleep...I hope you know that I'm not hard on you because I don't like you that's...not even close to the truth.
I love you, so much and...I get so damn scared for you."
Laios:
-Constant. Monster. Facts.
-One of the things that makes Laios so attracted to you is that you listen and like when he nerds out so please be prepared. You're a safe space to spew out knowledge and it means the world to him
-Consistently gives you small little gifts, but then sometimes gifts to the others so it doesn't look suspicious. Maybe it was something with the light but, the look in his eye as he gave you the bracelet and put it on you was so different.
-Usually doesn't care about other people being in a towels or shirtless, but when it's you he feels like a victorian man seeing an ankle for the first time. When he sees your collar bones and he tries to keep it very lokwey, but is highkey blushing
-Gives you some sketches of your favorite creatures, always "accidentally" makes your favorite dish for dinner nights, pouts a little when you need to be gone without him for a little
-If you're ever feeling insecure he might open his gob a little too much, "I get maybe why you'd feel that way but, if you ask me I think it's pretty hot" he says with a blank, enthusiastic smile on his face not at all understanding how that could come off
-You find out that the knight has a crush on you the first time he gets absolutely hammered with Senshi, Chilchuck as he was convinced by the two to get drunk
-The bar was packed in one of the "safe spaces" in town and you and Marcille were kinda the designated sober people within your party, and whilst the half elf was in the bathroom you decided to get some fresh air and got up from the stool seat
-"Whatcha' doing party is jus' getting started?" Laios asks
-You shot him a look over the shoulder and responded softly, "I need some fresh air hun, I'll be right back."
-And there went his inner dialogue. Out his mouth.
-"Woah, how sexy. Being in love really sucks sometimes since I'd really do tricks like a dog to be with them good god."
-The look you gave dobered him almost completely, and if that wasn't enough Marcille was right behind him and heard every word
-Love is cringe but he is free I guess.
Part Two:Kabru, Shuro and Falin!
#dunmeshi x reader#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#dungeons and dragons#dunmeshi#chilchuck imagines#chilchuk dungeon meshi#chilchuck tims x reader#chilchuck x reader#chilchuck#laois touden#laois dungeon meshi#laois delicious in dungeon#delicious in dungeon x reader#laios#laios touden#laois touden x reader#laios x reader#laios dungeon meshi#dunmeshi laios#delicious in dungeon laios#laois#laios dunmeshi#marcille#marcille dungeon meshi#marcille dunmeshi#marcille x reader#senshi x reader#senshi of izganda#senshi
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cregan stark x wife!reader — prompt list 1.19 from my autumn party!
words: 3.1k
notes: ahhh first time writing "smut"… not sure how i did but let me know! requested
The soft morning light filtered through the heavy curtains of Winterfell's lord's chambers, casting a warm glow on the sleeping forms nestled beneath the furs. For once, the ever-vigilant Cregan Stark slumbered peacefully, his usually tense features relaxed in repose. You stirred beside him, your eyes fluttering open to take in the rare sight of your husband still abed at this hour.
A smile tugged at your lips as you remembered his return the previous evening. Cregan had been gone for nearly a fortnight, leading a hunting party deep into the Wolfswood. When he'd finally ridden through Winterfell's gates, you'd barely contained your relief and joy at seeing him safe and whole. Now, as you gazed upon his sleeping face, the worry that had gnawed at you during his absence melted away.
Cregan's arm was draped heavily across your waist, holding you close even in sleep. You shifted slightly, pressing yourself more firmly against his broad chest, relishing the warmth of his body after so many cold nights alone. As if sensing your movement, Cregan's grip tightened reflexively, drawing you even nearer.
You couldn't help but marvel at the contrast between this tender moment and the stern, unyielding man the rest of the world saw. The Lord of Winterfell, the Wolf of the North – titles that spoke of duty and strength, but revealed nothing of the gentle heart that beat beneath that gruff exterior. A heart you'd slowly come to know over the course of your marriage.
It hadn't been an easy path. When you'd first arrived at Winterfell as Cregan's bride, you'd found him distant and taciturn. The weight of his responsibilities seemed to leave little room for warmth or affection. But you were no shrinking violet, and you'd been determined to forge a true partnership with your new husband.
Memories of those early days flitted through your mind as you nestled against Cregan. The awkward silences at meals, the stilted conversations as you tried to find common ground. But there had been moments of connection too – a shared laugh over some courtly mishap, the quiet pride in his eyes when you'd handled a delicate diplomatic situation with grace.
Slowly, ever so slowly, the ice had begun to thaw between you. You'd discovered Cregan's dry wit, hidden beneath layers of Northern stoicism. He'd come to appreciate your quick mind and steady presence at his side. Trust had grown, tentative at first, then stronger with each passing moon.
And now, after moons of patience and perseverance, you found yourself here – wrapped in the arms of a man who had become more than just your lord husband. Cregan Stark had become your partner, your confidant, and yes, your love.
You nuzzled your face against his chest, inhaling deeply. The scent of pine and leather clung to him still, mingled with something uniquely Cregan that never failed to make your heart quicken. Your movement must have finally roused him, for you felt his chest rumble with a low groan as he began to stir.
"Good morrow, my lord," you murmured, a teasing lilt to your voice. "The sun is high in the sky. Have the fearsome Lord of Winterfell's habits grown lax in his old age?"
Cregan's eyes cracked open, still heavy with sleep. He regarded you for a long moment before a ghost of a smile touched his lips. "Watch who you're calling old, wife," he grumbled, but there was no heat in his words. His hand, calloused from years of wielding sword and bow, came up to cup your cheek. "The hunt was long, and the furs are warm. Can you blame a man for savoring a moment's peace?"
You leaned into his touch, your own hand coming to rest over his. "Never, my love. You've more than earned your rest." Your tone grew more serious as you added, "I've missed you, Cregan. These past days have been... long."
Something softened in Cregan's gaze at your words. He knew well the toll his absences took on you, just as you understood the duties that often called him away. It was a delicate balance you both strove to maintain – the needs of the North weighed against the needs of your own hearts.
"As have I, my dear," Cregan admitted, his voice rough with more than just sleep. "Each night in that cursed forest, I found myself longing for the warmth of our bed... and the even sweeter warmth of your embrace."
Such open declarations of feeling were still rare from your taciturn husband, and you treasured each one. Unable to contain yourself any longer, you surged forward, pressing your lips to his in a kiss that spoke volumes of your own longing.
Cregan responded immediately, one hand tangling in your hair as the other pulled you flush against him. The kiss deepened, months of practice allowing you to fit together perfectly. When you finally parted, both slightly breathless, you couldn't help but grin.
"I fear I've grown quite spoiled, my lord," you said, affecting a dramatic tone. "A mere fortnight without you, and I've become positively needy. Whatever shall we do about this dreadful affliction?"
A low chuckle rumbled through Cregan's chest. "Is that so?" he asked, one eyebrow quirking upwards. "And what would my lady suggest as a cure for this... neediness?"
You pretended to consider the question, tapping your chin in mock thoughtfulness. "Well, I suppose there are ways for a husband to please his wife."
"Is that an order from my lady wife?" Cregan's voice had dropped to a husky whisper that sent a shiver down your spine.
"It is," you declared imperiously, though the effect was somewhat ruined by the breathless quality of your own voice. "Your lord wife demands attentio–"
Your words were cut off as Cregan's lips claimed yours once more. This kiss was deeper, hungrier, filled with all the longing of your time apart. His hands roamed your body, relearning curves and planes he knew as well as his own. You melted into his touch, your own fingers tracing the strong lines of his back and shoulders.
When you parted again, both panting slightly, you saw a familiar heat kindling in Cregan's grey eyes. "I believe," he growled, "that I have been remiss in my husbandly duties. Allow me to make amends, my lady."
Cregan's lips moved to your neck, kissing, biting and sucking every inch they could reach, his hand sneaking past the soft material of your sleep gown to explore the warmth of your skin beneath. A gasp escaped your lips as his mouth found the sensitive curve just beneath your ear, the sensation sending delightful shivers coursing through your body. You tilted your head back, allowing him more access, every gentle caress igniting a longing that had been stifled for far too long.
"Cregan," you breathed, your voice a mix of pleasure and urgency. "The day awaits us. We have responsibilities–"
His kisses trailed lower, warm and demanding, brushing against the soft fabric of your gown. "Let the day wait," he murmured against your skin, his breath hot and tantalizing. "This is our moment. I’ve missed you, and I intend to make every second count."
You couldn't suppress the way your heart raced, his touch igniting a fire within you that only he could kindle. His fingers traced shaped on your waist as he hungrily licked a pack down to your chest.
He groaned once he made contact with the clothing that separated him from your breasts, as if annoyed by it, he moved his hands to move the straps of the gown down, revealing what he'd been waiting for for so long. The cool air of the room brushed against your skin, heightening your awareness of his every touch.
“By the gods,” he breathed, his voice laced with reverence as he gazed at you. The look in his eyes made your cheeks flush, a mix of shyness and desire. It was a rare thing to see Cregan Stark so openly captivated, and the sight fueled a boldness within you.
“Do you like what you see, my lord?” you teased, your voice low and playful, though the way your heart raced betrayed the calm you tried to project.
Cregan’s gaze darkened with a mix of hunger and admiration. “More than you can imagine,” he replied, his fingers gliding over your skin, exploring every curve with a deliberate slowness that made you ache for more.
“Cregan…” The name slipped from your lips like a prayer, and you could see the way it affected him – his breath catching, his hands freezing in place. It was a heady power to know that you had such an effect on him.
He leaned closer, his lips brushing against your collarbone, sending a delightful shiver racing down your spine. “Every moment without you has been torture,” he murmured, his voice a low rumble that vibrated against your skin. “I swore to myself that I wouldn’t return to you empty-handed… that I’d come back bearing gifts worthy of my lady wife.”
You lifted your chin slightly, meeting his intense gaze. “And what gift do you bring me, my lord?” You smiled, a playful glint sparking in your eyes, hoping to tease him further.
“Let me show you,” he replied, his voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper.
His hands moved the cloth down your body, seeing his hungry eyes as if he was admiring every detail. Finally, the gown left your body, his hands tightening on your hips. He pulled, then, making you move down the bed so you were laid completely.
Eyes locking with yours, he grazed his body back, until his chin hit your thigh, he laid a soft kiss there, then another and another, each one trailing higher, awakening every nerve beneath his lips.
You gasped, a tremor running through you at the unexpected sensation. Cregan’s warm breath danced across your skin, teasing and tantalizing, and you felt as if he was drawing out all the longing that had been buried deep within you during his absence.
“Every part of you deserves to be worshiped,” he murmured, his voice thick with desire as he continued his slow ascent. Your body responded instinctively, arching toward him, seeking more of his touch, more of the heat radiating from him.
His hands explored the delicate curves of your thighs, fingers brushing against the soft skin, sending delightful shivers through your body. “You’re exquisite,” he breathed, his gaze never wavering from yours, filled with a mix of admiration and hunger that made your heart race faster.
His hair had gone messy, from the sleeping and the kissing. You moved your hand to gently move it out of his face as he kissed your thighs, hands still holding onto your hips. At the feeling of your hand in his hair, he hitched up your knee, your leg now resting on his shoulder.
You felt a rush of heat flood your cheeks, the intimacy of the moment electrifying. Cregan looked up at you from his place between your thighs, his eyes alight with mischief and desire, as if he relished every second spent worshiping you. The way he gazed at you made your heart flutter, igniting a yearning that had been building like a wildfire in your chest.
“Cregan…” you breathed, the sound barely above a whisper, an invitation and a plea all at once.
He didn’t respond with words; instead, he pressed his lips to the soft skin of your thigh, his warm breath sending tingling sensations coursing through you. You gripped the furs beneath you, fighting the urge to arch your back as he continued his tantalizing path, leaving a trail of kisses that made you dizzy with anticipation.
The world outside the chamber faded away, the responsibilities and duties of Winterfell slipping from your mind as you surrendered to the moment. Cregan’s hands were firm and confident, his thumbs tracing gentle patterns along your hips as he inched closer to your center, teasing you with his slow, deliberate movements.
“Do you know how long I dreamed of this?” he murmured, his voice thick with desire, the warmth of his breath against your skin causing you to shiver in response. “Each night in the forest, all I could think about was coming back to you.”
You could feel your pulse quicken at his words, the raw honesty behind them igniting a fire deep within you. “I wished for you every day, husband,” you confessed, your voice trembling with longing. “Every moment apart felt like an eternity.”
You tightened your hold on his hair when he reached your heat, the soft kiss placed on you made you shiver in pleasure, a sigh leaving your lips. Then, a slow lick of a stripe, he hummed as he tasted you.
The sensation rippled through you, sending a wave of heat pooling low in your belly. Cregan's mouth was warm and inviting, and as he savored your essence, you felt an exquisite blend of vulnerability and power in this intimate act. Every flick of his tongue ignited your senses, drawing forth soft gasps and shudders from your lips that filled the otherwise quiet chamber. You couldn't help but wonder how one man could wield such mastery over your body, and the thought alone sent a thrill of delight coursing through you.
“Cregan,” you breathed, your voice barely above a whisper, the name tasting sweet on your tongue as you surrendered to the blissful sensations he was drawing from you. He paused for a brief moment, looking up at you, those grey eyes smoldering with heat and intent, and you could see the raw need etched in the lines of his face.
“Let me hear you,” he urged, his voice low and gravelly, sending a delicious shiver down your spine. “Please.”
You nodded, emboldened by the warmth in his gaze, as his mouth resumed its heavenly ministrations. He teased you with lingering kisses, his warm breath contrasting deliciously against the coolness of the room, drawing you ever closer to the edge.
The world outside faded entirely, leaving only the warmth of the furs beneath you, the heady scent of pine, leather, and Cregan’s unique musk swirling around you. Every soft brush of his lips and each firm flick of his tongue was perfectly attuned to your body, as if he had learned your every secret through those long nights apart. He knew how to coax the sensations from you, his skilled movements igniting a fire that blazed brighter with every passing second.
“Please, don’t stop,” you gasped, your voice filled with urgency as you felt the building pressure within you, a tight coil of pleasure that threatened to unravel at any moment. “I–”
He took your words as a challenge, redoubling his efforts. Instinctively, his hand moved up to hold yours, fingers linked together as he used the other hand to pull you closer to his mouth. Cregan’s lips moved with fervor, the sounds of your pleasure spilling from your lips mixing with the soft sighs of his own desire. He consumed you, wholly and completely, until all you could focus on was the heat building between your legs and the way his hands gripped you possessively.
“More, Cregan,” you whimpered, your body arching instinctively toward him, seeking more of the ecstasy he was so expertly delivering. It was as if he was the sun, and you were drawn into his orbit, helplessly caught in the warmth of his desire.
“Your wish is my command,” he murmured against your skin, the vibrations sending shockwaves of pleasure straight to your core. He shifted his focus, his movements becoming more deliberate and focused as he traced delicate circles, pushing you higher and higher toward the precipice of bliss.
With each tantalizing stroke, you could feel the tension building inside you, coiling tighter and tighter until it was almost unbearable. Your fingers clenched in his hair, urging him on, and Cregan obliged with a growl of delight that sent a rush of pleasure coursing through you.
“I need you,” you breathed, the words escaping before you could think better of them. You knew it was true; your body craved him, and the aching longing that had been stifled during his absence ignited into an all-consuming desire.
He lifted his head momentarily, the flush on his cheeks matching yours as he gazed at you, an intensity burning in his eyes. “You have me,” he promised, his voice low and thick with desire. “You will always have me.” And then he returned to his feast, working you higher, his focus unwavering.
With each teasing caress and each gentle suckle, you could feel yourself teetering on the edge of ecstasy, the world outside fading further as you surrendered completely to the sensations he was igniting within you. The exquisite pressure tightened and tightened until it finally burst, sending you spiraling over the edge into a world of blinding pleasure.
You cried out his name, the sound reverberating in the chamber as wave after wave of bliss washed over you. It was a moment of pure euphoria, your body trembling as you rode the heights of pleasure, feeling as if you could float away on the sheer intensity of it all.
Cregan held you close, his hands steady against your hips as he guided you through the peaks and valleys of your climax, whispering sweet nothings that only deepened your connection. He worshiped you even in the throes of your release, kissing away your cries as he drew you back down gently, his warmth wrapping around you like a comforting embrace.
As the tremors of pleasure subsided, you gazed down at him, breathless and glowing, the room still echoing with the remnants of your bliss. Cregan's face radiated a mix of satisfaction and possessiveness, his lips curled into a smirk that made your heart flutter.
Afterwards, catching your breaths, you lay tangled together, a sheen of sweat cooling on your skin as you basked in the afterglow.
"I should go hunting more often," Cregan mused, his fingers tracing idle patterns on your bare shoulder, "if this is the welcome I can expect upon my return."
You swatted his chest playfully. "Don't you dare," you warned. "Or I shall be forced to accompany you on every expedition, propriety be damned."
Cregan's laugh was full and rich, a sound that never failed to warm your heart. "Now there's a terrifying thought. The great lords of the North, cowering before the fierce Lady Stark as she stalks through the Wolfswood."
You propped yourself up on one elbow, fixing him with a mock glare. "And why shouldn't they cower? I've tamed the fiercest wolf of all, have I not?"
Something shifted in Cregan's expression then, the mirth fading into something deeper, more intense. He reached up, tucking a stray strand of hair behind your ear with surprising gentleness. "Aye," he said softly. "That you have, my love. That you have."
You settled back against his chest, listening to the steady thump of his heart. The rest of the world could wait, you decided. For now, this moment was yours alone – you and Cregan, wrapped in the cocoon of your shared love, savoring a peace that had been long in the making.
#luna’s autumn writing#cregan x you#cregan fanfiction#cregan x reader#cregan stark#cregan stark x reader#tom taylor#hotd#house stark#cregan stark smut#hotd cregan#cregan stark oneshot
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Sanctify - Cult Leader!Wanda Maximoff x Reader - Kinktober #06
Summary: After your worst semester at NYU, your Aunt Agatha convinces you to join the Children of Chaos as an alternative, and very expensive form of therapy. Leaving the cult becomes a very difficult task when you develop an unexpected affection for their leader.
Warnings: (+18), dom!wanda and brat!reader, rough smut, face-fucking, power dynamics, brat taming (ish), praising, lots of tension and teasing, definitely blasphemous on some levels, a lot of plot, mentions of past toxic relationship, unspecified age gap. | Words: 7.900k
A/N-> I’ve been dying to write something about Cult Leader Wanda since I watched the second season of Yellowjackets and became obsessed with Lottie Matthews, so while writing this, I was picturing Lottie’s cult to be fair. I also like how I ended this, as it makes it possible to turn it into a series. Good reading!
General Masterlist | Kinktober Collection | AO3 | Wattpad
-&-
Although the movement of the car brought a gentle breeze through the window, the weather was hot enough to actually make thinking painful. In an attempt to relieve the temperature a little, and perhaps escape Aunt Aggie's provocative reminiscences about the long journey and the events that made this trip necessary in the first place, you put your arm on the door, and propped your chin up, your face on the safety edge outside the window.
New York had been out of sight for hours and had given way to countless trees and a plantation further and further away. You figured it wouldn't take long for the radio signal to stop working, but to your pleasant surprise, the soft melody of cassette tapes hidden in the glove compartment by Nicholas were picked up once that happened.
Your cousin had grown up over the summer - His still youthful appearance now featured neatly cut curly hair and reading glasses that he often hung on the collar of his shirt. When younger, it was common to hear how much he resembled Sir. Scratch, his scumbag father in the words of Agatha and the other adults, not yours - but over time, he looked much more like his mother.
Nick met your gaze through the rearview mirror and gave you an assuring smile. You didn't reciprocate, but not because you were upset. Just because you were distracted by the huge sign coming around the next corner.
"Oh, boy, I've missed this place." Agatha commented with a nostalgic sigh, as soon as she noticed the entrance plaque. She slowed down enough that the wind wasn't enough anymore, so you returned to your original position with a low snort.
"There's still time to turn around." You muttered, getting a warning look from the older woman.
She leaned over, without answering you, to grab something from the open glove compartment. You pushed your hair back as a pamphlet was dropped into your lap.
"I know you hated the idea, but you need to trust your elders for once in your life, darling." Agatha began, as you grimaced at the crumpled paper. The title Children of Chaos was painted in red, but it was faded in several places. "The 70s were the apex for this place, I had a lot of fun here. It's such a unique experience, connecting with nature and the chaos that is part of us all."
Nick chuckled through his nose. "Mom, don't start your witch thing again, you'll scare her." Mocked your cousin from the passenger seat, but Agatha waved him off.
"She'll thank me when she gets there, I'm sure."
But you didn't do that. When the car finally came to a stop, and what looked more like a fancy farm merged with the forest took over your vision, all you did was crumple the Immersive Community pamphlet into your pocket and throw your old backpack over your shoulder.
Aunt Aggie and your cousin hugged you tightly, saying they were going to write, but they couldn't get past the reception desk since they weren’t part of the program. You saw Agatha take your mom’s borrowed credit card out of her purse to start your so-called treatment, and the last goodbyes left your tongue before one of the tutors started the tour of the place.
In between presenting a large number of different huts that served as dormitories and classrooms for the most diverse activities - painting, handicrafts or poetry were the ones you memorized - Mr. Emil Blonsky also took the time to welcome you, emphasizing how incredible the community was and how lucky anyone was to be there. You bit your tongue to keep from telling him that only those with money could.
Finally, Blonsky showed you the stables and greenhouses on the edge of the property, and on the way back to the rest of the huts, you noticed the path up the hill.
"And what's up there?"
The man stopped walking with a small smile. He was wearing clothes very similar to those of the other people you'd seen on the tour, the difference being a golden necklace with a strange symbol that was hidden by the movement of his loosely buttoned shirt.
"We must not go up there without permission." He begins, although he's smiling, there's something in his gaze that says this rule cannot be disrespected. " The Prophetess' Retreat is a sacred place of peace and reflection."
You look back at the hut at the bottom of the mountain, far enough away that you can't make out the decorations on the balcony, but still beautiful and quiet, high enough to make it look like the prophet had her own little piece of heaven.
"So, no bothering the boss without asking? Got it." You retort, getting a chuckle from the other at the summary. He starts walking again along the path towards the general area, but you can't help the curiosity burning in your chest. "About this prophet, will she be isolated up there or will I get a chance to meet her?"
Blonsky walks up beside you, and looks you in the eye to say; "You'll meet her when it's time to meet her, not early and not late."
You don't know what to say to that, everything here is so theatrical in a way. Mystical, you might say. It suits Aunt Aggie so well, that it's not hard to imagine her here, dancing to the midnight moon and talking to the trees. She already does that in New York, it should have been much simpler in the middle of the forest.
"Come, child. You must start the cleaning process soon." Announces the man as he picks up the pace on the trail. With a sigh, you decide not to contradict him by saying that you bathed before coming, thank you.
It was soon revealed that the cleansing process really meant a bath - the colleagues around you who helped you laughed when you joked that it was a strange way of saying that someone stinks, before clarifying that it was nothing of the sort. The Cleansing Process was a bath of salts and herbs, in a tub of stones and some kind of botanical baptism, the latter of which only members who had completed thirteen full moons could take part in. You would be invited to the baptism with the prophet's blessing, but there was still a long way to go.
Blonsky handed your uniforms, and explained the last rules before leaving you alone, or almost, since your hut was shared with six other people, and despite this, it seemed very comfortable and organized. There were bunk beds and private bathroom spaces, and at least three spacious shelves for each. The latter wouldn't be of much use to you, since you'd brought almost nothing and the vast majority of your belongings had been left at NYU. Just thinking about that place gave you a terrible stomach ache: You would have skipped dinner, but the mere suggestion of not attending made one of your colleagues frown in concern and repeat the rules, so you ended up giving that up.
The routine that followed was calm: it didn't surprise you that the new members were responsible for the hardest tasks, and it didn't bother you either. You were never afraid of hard work, and keeping your hands busy also helped to calm your mind, so it was a win-win. Besides, even if you didn't get the jobs nobody wanted, all veterans had chores. There was some rule about the amount of service time and dedication being rewarded, so those senior members could choose what they wanted to do first.
You didn't have to worry about this anyway: you would do what you had to do because, after all, the agreement was to stay here only for the summer. However, with each passing day away from exams, traffic, and New York's typical filth, it became harder to imagine leaving the Children of Chaos and their strange harmony and kindness.
After three weeks in the group, you learned to knit. You also earned the privilege of mail when you showed up for all your appointments without delay and decided to check the items in the privacy of your cabin during the last hour of prayer.
Since you hadn't yet found your faith or received your calling or whatever weird way Blonsky explained this, you barely joined in the prayer sessions. This evening, excited to receive news from home, was no different.
Aunt Aggie wrote about the store doing well and mentioned your mother, who didn't write to you with more than vague words about hoping you'd feel better soon. The best present was hidden in Nicholas' letter about the university being a sack without his favorite cousin. Wrapped in silk and next to a lighter.
You haven't earned the right to write outside yet - something about a month in isolation to accomplish. So you just clutched the items to your chest and wished your cousin knew how grateful you were.
Your initial intention was to save the weed for some more stressful day - which was rare in the leisurely pace of this place - but the last letter made you consider using it all that night.
The recipient's perfect handwriting, and the address you knew by heart. You didn't even open the item, you put it away in your drawer and stood up with the weed hidden in your pants pocket.
The common area was empty, as the vast majority of your colleagues were praying. You stepped up to one of the bonfires and threw the unopened letter into the flames, without hesitation and without caring to see it burn. You turned on your heels and continued along the trail, heading for one of the few more secluded spots you had discovered during the hours of exploring between tasks.
The rules were clear about the prophet's hut but said nothing about the road towards it. And since apparently everyone there was afraid of upsetting the boss, that spot was always empty and the perfect place to smoke in hiding.
You leaned against a tree, curled up and lit the weed, and tried to keep away all the painful memories about last semester that the damn letter had brought up.
You were halfway through a joint when you heard a voice at the end of the trail next to you.
"Good evening, Y/N."
"Jesus fucking Christ." You gasped, jumping with fright and almost dropping the blunt to the ground. You looked sideways abruptly, imagining that you were hallucinating because of the weed, and were almost sure that you were when the words escaped you due to the apparition in front of you. The most beautiful woman you've ever seen in your life. Instead of a uniform, she wore a loose dark wine dress that hugged her curves perfectly; her long red hair cascaded down her shoulders and back and her emerald eyes shone curiously in your direction. The dim light from the fire lamps scattered along the trail and the moon really made the woman look like an angel.
You coughed awkwardly. "Sorry, you scared me." You clarified, the cigarette hidden behind your back a stupid attempt to mask what you were doing. Sure enough, your pupils were dilated, and it was very easy to see the smoke. So, as soon as you tried to hide it, you gave up, offering the woman an awkward chuckle and gesturing the cigarette gently. "Don't tell on me."
There was a soft pause, which you couldn't tell from the intoxication in your system. The woman watched for a moment as the charming gesture of bringing the cigarette to the smile formed on your lips and blew the smoke into the starry sky with your neck slightly stretched. Your mind seemed to clear, and before the woman could speak, you grimaced. "Wait, didn't you just say my name? How..?"
She smiled, folding her hands in front of her body. "It was premeditated that we met today, of course. I'm Wanda."
You've heard her name before, in conversation circles and in advertisements about her heavenliness hanging around.
"Shit." It was your natural reaction, which made her laugh softly, and it must have been the weed's fault that the sound echoed in your mind and made your body shudder.
"Don't worry, I won't snitch on you." She assures you with an easy smile playing on her lips, and you swallow dry, completely at a loss.
"Thanks... but I thought you were the boss." You mumble, and Wanda makes a funny expression, like a false realization.
"Oh, you're right." She murmurs amusedly. "I think I can let this one slide if you'll share it with me."
"Fuck, of course, here." Your limbs feel strange, almost too heavy to move around her. You awkwardly hand her the cigarette, certain that your face is flushed. Hell, the last time you were this clumsy was last semester, with-
"You swear a lot." Wanda's comment pulls you out of your daze. She takes a long drag before adding: "Especially for a Christian."
You chuckle, shaking your head. "My father's a Christian, not me." You retort, and end up grimacing. "And how do you know-"
"This is a very exclusive program, sweetheart." Wanda cuts you off again, the cigarette between her fingers but her gaze is completely focused on your face. "Having a lot of money or being someone's niece isn't enough to guarantee you a spot, but a good letter of recommendation might. And Agatha wrote me almost everything about you, except the reason for rushing to get you here before the next recruitment period."
The sentence was an invitation for you to speak, but you didn't fall for the bait. On the contrary, you looked away with tense shoulders, and Wanda didn't press. At least, not now. She took another drag before commenting more softly:
"We have general meetings every Wednesday. We encourage members to open up."
You grimace softly. "Group therapy isn't my thing."
But Wanda smiles lopsidedly, giving you back the joint. " Neither is nice weed." She retorts a little provocatively, attracting your attention. "If you want to try something new, show up next week. And if you want to try something good, you should try the weed from our greenhouse. It won't taste like crushed dirt." Adjusting her hair around her shoulders, she offers you a wink. "Have a good night, darling."
You think about the color of her eyes for the rest of the night.
-&-
Sooner than you'd expect, you'll discover that Wanda isn't the type to let things slide. Far from it, she notices everything, especially those who are being too slack and prone to not following the teachings of the Children of Chaos, possibly ruining their record of total efficiency or something.
She puts an end to your plans for a quiet summer, trying to go unnoticed among the countless other followers just as abruptly as she left her meditation hut. Wanda seems to appear at every moment that you consider escaping from your commitments - it even occurs to you that she has a particular interest in watching you, but the idea sounds so absurd that you push it away while forcing a polite smile before returning to your duties.
Less than two weeks after you met, you finally stopped avoiding Group Therapy and showed up on time to join the session. The presence of Wanda, in a loose dark purple dress and her red hair tied up in a neat braid, makes you almost give up, convinced that you couldn't say anything without stuttering in the presence of such a stunning woman.
But she offers a gentle smile, opening her arms softly. "Come along, darling, you're just in time." She greets and you stumble towards a corner in the background, begging the gods that you can attend in silence this time.
It doesn't seem so difficult when it's other people doing it. A young man with whom you've already shared the task of looking after the stables spoke of the frustrations of returning from enforced service with a missing limb, and how the support he didn't get from the government and family members, he found here. Bucky received a finger-snapping applause - something that was explained to you as a way to avoid triggers on the countless ex-combatants or victims of post-traumatic stress that make up the crowd - before giving his turn to another ex-military woman, Carol Danvers.
More stories were shared until Wanda's gaze fell on your slumped figure and she called your name. All the attention in the room fell on you too, and you chuckled awkwardly.
"Thanks, but I'm not good at public speaking." You retorted, but Wanda, with her hands folded over her stomach, gave you a gentle smile.
"Don't worry about it, dear, this is a no-judgment zone." She says, but you make no mention of getting up, and her gaze becomes more insistent. "It's important that we all make an effort to be present at these exercises. We encourage participation around here. Come along, dear, please." And she smiled so kindly that you could only trust her.
The group offered a small chorus of encouragement, and before you knew it, you were a few steps away from the redhead, who held out her hands for your wrists.
"I want you to take a deep breath and close your eyes." Wanda guided, her melodic voice bringing goose bumps all over your body. "Turn all your attention inward. And tell me, is there anything in there that you'd like to share with the group?"
The memories of last semester hit you full force. But Wanda massages your wrists and it feels as if she can calm down the whole storm inside of you.
You sigh, before opening your eyes. "I... I don't know where to start." Your whisper is met by another chorus of support from the members, who retort that you're safe. Wanda releases your wrists to sit with the others, and you try not to be so self-conscious while you're in the spotlight. "I think I can share with you the reason why I'm here." You declare a moment later, taking another deep breath.
Bucky gives you an encouraging smile, mimicking that of the people around him, and you swallow.
"I don't have a history of fighting and overcoming war or any illnesses, so I'm sorry to disappoint anyone." You mumble, receiving confused looks.
The former sergeant assures you: "No problem competes with another. All our pains have their importance." And it seems to be something that has already been repeated here a few times because everyone shakes their heads in agreement.
You scratch the back of your head awkwardly. "Right... well, I won't beat around the bush. A month ago, when I was first enrolled here, I had just been kicked out of my house. Well, it wasn't exactly my house anymore, because I'd been living on campus for about three years, but I think you get the idea." You say, laughing awkwardly at the anxiety in your chest. You try to clear your throat so that your voice doesn't come out so shaky, but only Wanda's gaze really helps to calm your nerves. "And the reason for this was a relationship that my parents, more specifically my mother, didn't approve of. To be fair, no one really approved, because, well, the person... hm, I don't think there's any other way to put it, was another woman. An older woman, and also my professor. And well, the whole thing would have been a scandal anyway, but I really let myself believe that when the worst was over, we'd be fine. Bad news, we weren't." You laugh sadly. You pause, imagining that you'll get judgmental looks, but everyone listens attentively. "For a while, I thought the worst part was afterward. When everyone knew and judged me, and how my mother freaked out, and I tried... but no. The worst part was not realizing what that love if I can call it that, was doing to me. How ill it was making me. And until I got here, learned things about myself, and managed to take a break from everything that was left behind... For a while, I really hoped to go back and fix everything, but now... damn, sometimes I don't even think about leaving this place."
The group celebrates quietly, exchanging words of encouragement. Your ears feel warm, and Wanda stands up again. "You can stay as long as you need, darling." She says, massaging your forearm. She calls someone else to speak, but doesn't miss the opportunity to whisper in your ear: "I'm proud, stay a little longer today, I want to talk to you."
And you think you haven't absorbed anything for the rest of the morning.
Eventually, the session ends, and as soon as the room is empty, Wanda turns her face towards you.
"You were brave today, sweetheart."
Your hands, busy putting the cushions away, tremble a little. But you offer her an incredulous chuckle.
"Yeah, right." It's your answer, which makes Wanda frown in curiosity. At her inquisitive silence, you sigh before clarifying: "Everyone's nice, but I know it's kind of silly that my big trauma is a break-up and not post-traumatic stress from war or something that actually matters."
Wanda presses her lips together, studying you for a moment, and you take the opportunity to put away the last of the cushions. Suddenly, she says:
"This lack of respect for your own feelings comes from parental negligence, I suppose." You turn your face away in surprise, but Wanda gives you a small smile: "James wasn't lying when he said that no pain should compete with another. We all have our internal and external battles, and we shouldn't belittle our pain. I believe we should honor it, and wear it. And here, dear, you will learn to do that." Wanda makes her way around to one of the cupboards at the back, and you watch her movements in silence, from reaching into one of the last drawers to returning to you with an item in hand. "I have an invitation for you."
She opens the box she's brought, and inside is a necklace very similar to the one the instructors wear. The main difference is the symbol, the crown that Wanda also carries on the pendant around her neck. You frown in confusion.
"What is it?"
She wraps the item between her fingers, her gaze on you. "The disciple's necklace. The last one from the current solstice."
You imitate the gesture, touching the item with the tips of your fingers. Wanda doesn't move her hand away as your fingers brush together, and you ignore your own shyness as you watch her bite her lip for a moment. "I don't understand what it means."
She licks her lips, and the movement doesn't go unnoticed by your eyes. "It means that you would be my apprentice. You would accompany me during periods of meditation, you would study my teachings closely, you would be... entirely dedicated to..."
"You?" you add, and Wanda lets out a shuddering breath, warm against your cheek. When did she get so close?
"If you wish." She whispers, and you pull away gently, your face hot but the last thread of sanity in your mind.
"I'm sure there are more experienced members dying for this position. It wouldn't be right-"
Wanda shakes her head, interrupting you. "They weren't chosen. You were." She assures you, pressing the box with the necklace against your chest. "And if it wasn't you, the place would be empty until the next solstice. You don't have to accept it, darling. It's not a summons. It's an invitation."
You sigh, holding the box against your chest. "I just... I've never done anything like this. I don't want to mess things up."
There's a bell in the distance, signaling the start of the next activities. Wanda glances outside briefly before stepping close enough to press a kiss to the corner of your mouth that makes your whole body heat up at once.
"Just listen to your instincts." She whispers, before pulling away with a small smile.
You write to Agatha about it the following evening, but you don't have the courage to seal the letter for sending. The whole conversation with Wanda seems too private to be shared in this way.
Although the woman said it was just an invitation, you could feel some pressure to make a decision, and it seems that the news had been circulating ever since one of the tutors couldn't find the box of the last chaos disciple pendant, and Wanda ended up mentioning that she had extended another invitation.
In a way, you were stalling. Between your activities and meetings, you hadn't made any decisions and you hoped that the end of the summer would force Wanda to choose someone else. But there was also the question of the new, burning feelings that had appeared since you first laid eyes on her, and which seemed to awaken every time you two were in the same environment.
The idea of departing, of leaving her behind like a closed chapter in your life, seemed absurd every passing day.
In your second month with the Chaos Children, you received a rather unusual request: take the prophet her morning drink.
The crumpled piece of paper was handed to you by one of your cabin mates: Kate Bishop. A former student, a little younger than you, who, after destroying a bell at the university, was sent here by her millionaire mother. Kate was to stay until she had balanced her irresponsible impulses and could take over the family's security empire.
She seemed a little reluctant to interrupt your concentration on cleaning the garden, but much more determined not to disappoint Wanda.
"Just give it to the kitchen staff, they'll know what to do. And prioritize, she doesn't like to wait." Said the girl, but you gave her hand a gentle tug before taking the paper.
"But why did she ask me?" you asked, but Kate had no idea and just shrugged before leaving the garden.
While the kitchen staff prepared the item, you tried to improve your appearance in the bathroom next to the lounge, wiping all the soil from the plants from under your fingers, and even what had run into your cheeks.
When you came out, there was another order on the counter and a small group of people who hadn't been there before. They didn't see you. Blonsky, accompanied by two other women you didn't know, were talking to each other.
"I bet it was Carter. She hasn't stopped talking about her private piano lessons with the Prophetess for four whole weeks." Said the first, but the other laughed quietly.
" Sharoon is a simp, that's all. Wanda wouldn't choose her after the episode with Rogers last year, she knows she can't trust her." Rebutted the other. "Besides, I would have assumed it was Bishop, after all, she already acts like a maid. Why train another when you already have one so dedicated?" The women laugh amongst themselves until they finally notice you approaching, and fall silent. Blonsky smiles, but he appears very vicious.
"Hello, miss. Wouldn't you like to have a say in who our next disciple is?" He asks you, but you shrug, moving forward in the queue in front of the canteen to grab the prophet's items that were clearly being prepared in priority.
"I don't know anything about it." That's your answer, but the shorter woman gets in your way.
"Come on, dear, it's easy." She begins with a giggle. "Every solstice, the prophetess chooses her disciples. There are 24 of them, 12 of whom will become apostles after their apprenticeship."
You grimace softly. "It's very biblical."
Blonsky chuckles. "Of course, it is, despite the multiculturalism of our group, Wanda was raised in a Jewish Christian home. You're not going to tell me you didn't know that?"
You clear your throat. "Not really. Sorry, I have to run."
But the man puts a hand in your way, only to stretch his body out on the counter and reach for some colored leaves that he crushes and drops into Wanda's glass.
"She likes it this way. I would know, I prepared many when I was her houseboy for the first few weeks here." He says, and you swallow dry, mumbling an awkward thank you before hurrying off.
The path is a little tiring, you think it makes sense of Wanda's physique if she had to climb that trail every day, and you mentally curse yourself for thinking about her body. It's not at all appropriate, honestly.
The door is open, but you knock anyway. The woman inside, wearing her typical long, loose dresses at the edge, is busy finishing a loose fringe in her hair and offers you a smile.
"Come in, dear."
You do so a little awkwardly, almost overwhelmed by the moment of entering the most private place in the whole camp. It's a beautiful cabin, you let her know, without stopping to admire the perfectly arranged surroundings. You would have thought that the privacy of this place would allow her to make some kind of personal mess, but everything is impeccably in place.
Wanda approaches to pick up the items, and the smile falters on her face at the first sip of her drink.
"Did you put... did you put maca root in this?" She asks, and your natural reaction is a short laugh.
"I didn't prepare it, Wanda."
But she doesn't smile again, her tone of voice remains the same but her attitude changes to one of false kindness. "My morning drink is an ashwagandha. I need my concentration to increase, not my libido." It really sounded like a scolding, and her attitude of handing the cup back to you, accompanied by the memory of the recent events, made your blood boil.
"Well, I'm not your fucking maid, so if it's not good, get another one downstairs, or even better, make it one yourself."
It's the first time you see any kind of fury in her gaze, hot and vibrant, and it makes something in you rouse. Your mention of leaving the cabin is prevented by her hands closing the door and trapping you against the wood.
Wanda takes a deep breath, and the gleam in her eyes changes. "Can I ask... where did this attitude come from?"
You hold the glass tightly against your body, very aware that you'll drop it if Wanda doesn't step away and let you breathe. "I just want to make things clear." You retort with a seriousness that doesn't do justice to the way your heart is racing. "I didn't come to this place to be your personal servant."
Wanda chuckles briefly, letting her gaze drop to your mouth. "Oh, of course not, darling." She whispers. "You're not the type to follow orders willingly. You'd do a terrible job."
Swallowing dryly, you retort: "And why am I here then?"
Wanda smiles innocently. "I asked you to bring my drink." It's her reply, clearly trying to tease you, and you snort impatiently.
"I bet you expected an answer. Well, I haven't made up my mind yet, so if there's nothing else, I'll just go."
Wanda moves to take the glass from you and put it on the table by the door. The next second, her hands are in yours.
"Don't be silly, of course, there's another reason." She retorts, pulling you along as she walks backward into the cabin. "I hear you love painting."
What you had assumed was her personal painting canvas is offered to you. The laugh that escapes you is shy and genuine.
"Wanda, I don't... paint anymore."
But she doesn't flinch, her hands still in yours. "I know you haven't since last semester. It was in the letter. But you've progressed so much, that I thought you could paint for me." When you don't answer, she makes such an adorable expression that your heart skips a beat. "Please?"
Wanda definitely knows how beautiful she is, and how those puppy-dog eyes can take her anywhere. You bite back a smile, agreeing, and almost forget to breathe when she jumps excitedly onto your neck, hugging it for a whole moment before letting go as if she hadn't turned you into a complete mess with one touch.
She doesn't complain about the cocktail again - instead, she drinks it entirely while you get comfortable on the painting stool, doodling for a few moments before starting to paint the only thing you could after so many months without touching a paintbrush.
It's only when the drawing is clearer on the frame that Wanda becomes restless again. Loud sighs take your attention away from the painting and towards her.
"Is something wrong?"
She smiles half-heartedly, and only now do you notice the soft color of her cheeks. "I shouldn't have ignored my own complaints and drunk that juice."
You frown in confusion, letting the brush rest next to the paints. "Was it that bad? If you want, I'll complain to the kitchen-"
Wanda chuckles, shaking her head and you have to shut up because she reaches over to push the canvas out of the way and stops right in front of you, close enough to touch.
"Remember what I said? About focus and about... my libido." She asks, and you can swallow dryly, looking up in the direction of her dilated eyes. She lets her hands rest on your shoulders, pressing the weight of her body gently into yours. "Well, I suppose you'll have to see for yourself. Hold out your hand sweetheart, no, no, down... yes, you can move my dress out of the way." Your trembling fingers brushed against her knee, and immediately obeyed the order. Slowly making your way under her dress, while Wanda bit her lip and watched you draw patterns on her thighs. Finally, your fingers reached the side of her underwear. Instead of pulling it down, you let the inks drop to the ground, and your other hand went under her dress too, repeating the same path as before while you and Wanda panted together. Your face fell forward, flush into her dress, and you pressed your nose against her, inhaling deeply the scent of arousal she exhaled so strongly.
Her hands squeezed your shoulders as yours began to pull down her panties right away. A moment later, gracefully as everything so far, she kicked the item aside and spread her legs gently so that you could slide your fingers between more easily.
You looked up the second your index finger met her warmth, gasping at the mischievous smile of the woman in front of you.
"All this time I've been here..." You started hoarsely, your fingers spreading the wetness between her folds, and enjoying the way Wanda's breath caught in her throat. "Were you this wet?"
Despite the failure of her own breathing, and the way it's harder to stand up with your intimate stimulation, Wanda gives you a mischievous look and leans her forehead against yours, her red hair making a curtain between your faces.
"I get like this every time I'm around you." She confesses, giving you a provocative tug on your lower lip that forces you to thrust inside her with more determination. Almost enough for her to lose her pose. Almost. "It's disconcerting, to be honest."
Your thumb presses down firmly on her clit, and Wanda almost buckles into you, the delicious sound that escapes her throat will be in your dreams for sure. "Well, should I apologize, high sanctity?"
She chuckles at the teasing hidden in the nickname, before leaning in completely and capturing your mouth in a fervent kiss that takes you out of orbit for a whole moment, intense enough for you to whimper into her tongue, and force her hips down into yours, practically begging her to grind your lap. Wanda's response to this is a dirty giggle mixed with a moan into your mouth.
Without breaking the kiss that turns into a much hungrier one the next second, you get to your feet, adjusting your hands to grab her thighs to pull her onto your lap and carry her around the room. Between stumbles, you press each other against the various surfaces of the room, tables, and cupboards, exchanging increasingly hot and desperate kisses, and you're pretty sure you're going to have Wanda against the bookshelf if she keeps grinding into your abdomen like that.
In a pause for breath, when she's still wedged between you and the bookcase, your mouth descends on her jaw and Wanda struggles to keep her eyes open. She whimpers shamelessly as your curious hands advance down her body, pulling her dress out of the way and leaving it barely hanging off her body for you to clasp your palms over her now-bare breasts.
Her patience for release is quickly exhausted by the precise stimulation of her breasts, your eager fingers teasing and pinching her nipples until you turn her into a whimpering mess. She gives a determined tug on the hair at the nape of your neck, forcing your face back to hers in a hard, dirty kiss that makes you shudder. She breaks it only to give an order:
"On your knees." And you groan in obedience, falling to the floor almost at once, desperately pulling her dress aside to force your face into her, now with nothing in the way. Wanda arches her back once your hot mouth finds her drenched cunt; her hands desperate for some kind of support on the shelves behind her, while her chest heaves and her hips are restless against your face.
Your hungry mouth leisurely devours her, your tongue teasing her folds, spreading her wetness around and making a mess on your face. Your closed eyes show your dedication and surrender to the task, but Wanda tugs at your hair again, trying to gain a little control back and order you to quit the teasing and fuck her the way she needs you to. Fully dilated Irises then confronts her from between her legs, and Wanda loses her breath.
"Beautiful." She panted, staring back, shamelessly grinding herself into your face. "So beautiful... fuck... on your knees for me... oh, God, detka." She struggles to compliment you, but her native language begins to escape mixed with English shortly afterward, her climax approaching. You moan contentedly at the scene, aware of the state of your own underwear from all this play. Wanda's body begins to betray her, trying to pull away so you grab her thighs with a strong grip, and one of her legs ends up over your shoulder, increasing your reach just the way she needs it to fall over the edge.
Wanda comes on your tongue, spasming against the books, and in a deep moan. You don't let her pull away, keeping her restless hips in place as you lick your way through her previous climax in search of a new one. Soon her whimpering protests at the overstimulation turn into begging, and you fail to hide the smug smile at feeling her so at your mercy for a second time.
She's so close, so close, that the Sokovian comes back to her tongue, but there's a sudden knock on the door, and all the stimulation is interrupted by your fright. Wanda gasps incredulously, losing the time to react in time due to her own lust, and having to watch you stumble away - quickly wiping her cum from your chin with the back of your hand - as she tries not to fall down on her shaking knees.
"Why the fuck did you stop?" she asks in frustration through her teeth, but you, with a very flushed face, look at her with a certain desperation.
"Wanda, there's someone at the door!" You retort as if it were a very justifiable reason to steal an orgasm from her. Wanda huffs angrily, lunging at you and ignoring your confused eyes to pull you upright by the collar of your shirt, hurriedly throwing you onto the mattress. "W-wanda, what?"
"Quiet." She cuts in, pushing your shoulders until you're lying down and following the movement of your body to straddle your lap. The person outside knocks again, and although she's pulling her off, and is still shaking from her last orgasm, Wanda manages to speak in the same tone of voice as she does every morning meeting: "What is it?"
Your protests are muffled when Wanda sits on your face, and in fact, you would have forgotten any guests if Blonsky's voice hadn't sounded in the next second.
"Good morning, Reverend, I've come to join you for today's service." Says the man, but Wanda has to bite her lip hard because you're eating her out again, somehow even better than before. "Reverend?"
Wanda shakes her head, frowning at the difficulty of maintaining a rational thought when she has your tongue inside her. "Hm, I'm not going today, Blonsky... Deliver the service in my place." She fails to sound so breathless and has to close her eyes when your hands grip her thighs tightly, holding her down.
Blonsky then sounds concerned: "Aren't you feeling well, Reverence?"
Your nose nuzzles into her clit and Wanda reaches for the headboard, a satisfied sigh escaping her. "I feel great." She murmurs back and has to take a deep breath so that the next sound that escapes her isn't a moan. "Just busy. Anything else, Blonsky?"
The man clears his throat, Wanda has to press a hand against her own mouth as you reach another right spot.
"Hm, yes, Reverend... As you know, the deadline for the selection of the disciple is coming to an end." He begins, luckily unable to hear the muffled sighs inside the room through the closed door. "I have expressed my concerns to Your Reverence about a premature choice of new members-"
Wanda snorts impatiently. "Are you really going to question my choices again, Blonsky?"
"N-no, reverend!" He defends himself quickly. "Never. I just worry that the... affinity, that Your Reverence has acquired for some new members, might affect your judgment about their vocations. The premature choice of a disciple could result in their departure from our community, and we know how the withdrawal of one of our own affects everyone..."
"Don't worry about it." Wanda cuts dry, and now, she's remarkably close to climaxing. She doesn't care about the roughness, she thrusts her hips frantically into your face, muffling your breathless moans. "Y/N is the best choice... she's... so-god... dedicated and-hm... talented-" Wanda's lucky you're quick to react too. She would have screamed to the ceiling, exposing all the inappropriate activities in the room if you hadn't grabbed her thighs and spun her on her back onto the mattress. She didn't have time to lose this orgasm by the brief interruption of your movements - your fingers took the place of your tongue when you hovered above her, and your free hand covered her mouth when you sank inside her again.
Wanda came harder than before, squeezing your fingers and wetting the bed. She clings to your body in a desperate grasp, shocked by the achievement over her body, and grateful for the muffling of her moans. You keep thrusting until she stops squirting on the sheets.
You only remember that Blonsky is still outside because he speaks again. "I'll take your word for it, Your Reverence. And I hope you've made a good choice." He says at last, the sound of his footsteps moving away is ignored by you and Wanda, who meet in a hot kiss in the next second.
Your fingers continue to thrust lightly inside her, even though Wanda shudders from the excessive stimulation. And despite this, she also controls the kiss, which slows down so that she can ask in between: "Tell me, love. Did I do it? A good choice."
You kiss her a little harder. "I still don't know... what I want... or what I should do, Wanda."
She brings one of her hands up to your wrist, stopping your movements. You open your eyes to look at her. Wanda smiles, but her eyes are very mischievous. "You think too hard when the answer is right here." She retorts, giving your hand a gentle tug. You follow her lead, and soon, you have your drenched fingers with her cum inside your mouth. Your hips move instinctively, pressing down on her, and Wanda giggles mischievously, her free hand trailing down your back to encourage the movement. "Don't you want that, baby? You can be all mine."
You suck your fingerprints clean, removing them from your mouth to support yourself on the mattress now that you're so wildly grinding your hips against Wanda's thigh. She doesn't let you indulge in the sensation, grabbing your cheek and stopping your hips with the other at your silence.
Your soft protest is ignored, and your voice is almost a pathetic plea when it comes out. "It's not fair... I was feeling so good."
"Oh, darling, I can make you feel even better, every day if you decide to stay with me." She retorts, her grip softening on your cheek. You look at her, but there is still hesitation in your gaze and Wanda wishes to replace this doubt with something else. She kisses you but pulls away when you go to increase the intensity, ignoring your protest and pushing you gently away by the shoulders. "No playing, until I have an answer."
Wanda flees - because she doesn't think she'll live up to her words if she is under you - and slips out of bed before you can grab her back. Your next long protest is muffled against the mattress because you press your face down.
Wanda giggles half-heartedly as she stands up, reaches for her dress, and tries to adjust her appearance a little. "Thank you for the sex, sweetheart, it was a very pleasant surprise, but I can't let Blonsky lead a communion, he's not good at it. And you have errands, so if you'll excuse me..." Your silence made Wanda, now dressed, look at the bed again. To her surprise, you were sitting on the mattress, hanging something around your neck.
Your gaze met hers as the disciple chain was secure on your skin. The mischief in your gaze made her swallow. Twirling the symbol between your fingers, you smiled as you asked: "So how does this work? Should I confess my sins so that you can forgive me?"
"God offers forgiveness, not me." Wanda whispers back, brazenly watching you start to unbutton your shirt, the necklace hanging in the valley of your breasts is doing things to her.
"Hm, since I'm going to be forgiven, maybe I can sin a little more..." Wanda moved on instinct, crawling onto the bed to meet you halfway like a magnet being drawn towards you.
Your foreheads touched, and she sighed against your lips. "I should punish you for this blasphemy." She says, to which you smile naughtily before sticking out your tongue to tease her lips, eliciting a low moan from her.
"Promise?" You challenge, and Wanda gets tired of wasting time.
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Can You Hold Me?
✶ Pairing: tennis player! Kim Hongjoong x therapist female reader ✶ Word count: 10,8 k ✶ Warnings: cursing, traumatic past, mentions of death, mentions of alcohol use, a lot of angst, a little suggestive at the end
✶ Summary: You had chosen to become a therapist, but why? So that you could help others, and at the same time escape your dark and traumatic past. One day, the problematic tennis player Kim Hongjoong comes in for a session, and everything changes from then on as you find solace and understanding in your traumatic pasts.
✶ A/N: Yoo, I'm back omg, I officially graduated and now I'm an unemployed nobody yaayy. So about this story...I'm not quite satisfied with my writing in it and I don't expect much from this, I just needed to write it because it kind of helped me through tough times. And I just realized writing angst helps me get through my anxiety lmao. Oh and just to add, I have no idea about psychology I kind of improvised the whole process so sorry if it’s not how it is going.
So buckle up ig, I wanted to make this very angsty but ended up making it rather fluffy lmao, so enjoy! Okay byee! (divider)
(p.s. This song inspired the title and it perfectly describes Hongjoong's feelings, I recommend listening to it hehet.)
Human's minds are pure chaos. Within each person lies a world as complex as our physical reality. There exists pure happiness alongside deep darkness that can both consume and strengthen. It's hard to escape the maze of rusty, huge walls that separates us from our sanity. Sometimes people desperately need a guiding hand that belongs to a person and runs along the dark maze, pulling them out of the dark labyrinth of thoughts that slowly destroy them.
I was a helping hand in hundreds of people's lives. People came to me shouting for help desperately or sometimes they were too stubborn to ask for help so I needed to convince them first to trust me, so they could let me lead them out of the dark.
I was a clinical psychologist, I fixed people's minds. It is a hard task, everyone has their unique story, and their own problems that can drive people crazy. And I needed to prevent that. All the process looked like a brain surgery, it just didn't need steel tools and extravagant knowledge of the different kinds of nerves and muscles. I couldn't just cut out people's brains like the doctors and fix things like that. A brain surgery could take up to 7 hours, but if I needed to save someone from the dark, dirty maze...that is impossible for them and for me to help in that short of time. It needed years. Years of trying to show the way out into the light that sometimes comes with the biggest hardships. To put together the lost pieces so they can be their old selves. But the thing is, they could never be their old selves again, just little pieces of it. Sometimes they can overcome it alone, sometimes they accept my helping hand and sometimes...they don't make it out of the dark ever. Those are the hardest journeys of my bumpy road.
I always felt like my life's purpose was to help people overcome their fears. I liked to dive deep into people's minds and play with the strings of their nerves, to find out their deepest, darkest secrets that they only told me. All the time someone confessed their feelings, when they opened up to me, I felt like a Goddess to whom people whispered their biggest sins. It was like they told me their Sea of Confession.
And why did I like it? Hearing people's dark thoughts made my mind concentrate on their problems, so I could run away from my own problems, from my own dark thoughts that hunted me in my nightmares, until my mind was tired enough so it could finally go blind.
I could fix people, but who fixed me?
I was in a hurry as I sipped from my morning coffee next to a quick breakfast that I made in a hurry because of course I overslept and now I was late for work. As I was sitting in my small one-room flat, I drank the last drops of coffee from my mug, quickly grabbed my keys, and turned off the TV that was a white noise on my chaotic morning.
Before I turned the TV off, I saw that the news was about some 26-year-old professional tennis player who got into a scandal, that was speeding through the highway drunk and nearly causing an accident. I heard about this player a few times on the news, he was always in some kind of trouble, like being drunk during an interview or shouting at a reporter after he lost a game, these attitudes of his made his fame slowly fade through the years as people started to judge him, because of his behavior.
I saw a few of his interviews, where he just seemed as bored as a prisoner in a cell, he spoke with people like they were some kinds of slaves. Something was up with him, I knew it—I was a therapist—he had a reason because people don't go insane just because they want to. I was sure it was deeper than the effects of being a professional tennis player dealing with fame.
He fought with some demons just like all of us.
The news also said that they just took his driver's license and the problem was solved, just because he was an athlete and had money. Our world was very fair. I scoffed at that after I quickly turned off the TV and glanced one last time at the full-body mirror, checking if my white shirt was perfectly ironed, which I paired with a grey, tight skirt that barely reached my knees with black heels, I pulled on my grey blazer that fitted with my skirt and left my cozy flat to step out into the air full of the breeze of spring.
As soon as I parked my car I hurried straight to my office, my first client was already there waiting for me in front of my door that held my name 'Dr. Kwon Y/N'.
"Ah, sorry for being late, but the traffic was horrible, my apologies." I quickly took out my keys from my purse and opened the door.
"It's okay, I know it can be the worst." My client smiled at me, his blonde hair fluffy from the morning hours, black framed glasses sitting on his tall nose, his dimples showing from the curve of his lips. His name is Song Mingi and he has been going to therapy for over a year now, he experienced a horrible trauma and it takes time to get over it, step by step but he is going to fight his demons.
"C'mon in." I smiled at him genuinely.
I stepped into my office, which looked comforting, and full of warm colors, that being orange, brown, and all shades of red. I wanted to make this room look like a place where people who are coming to my office, feel safe, to feel that whatever they tell me, stays there. The walls were painted warm orange. The furniture was brown, in the middle of the room there was a brown armchair with some orange stripes and in front of that, there was a sofa with the same colors, where my clients could lay down or just sit comfortably. On my left side, there's a big window and on the ledge, there are some green indoor plants. My main purpose was to give them a place where they can feel comfortable.
I sat on my armchair as I waited for Mingi to get comfortable.
"So how are you feeling today, Mingi?" I crossed my legs and all my attention was on the man in front of me, trying to listen to his thoughts and feelings that confused him.
Noon went by quickly and I had a little break before my next client came, so I went to the nearby bakery to buy some fresh baked bread. As I was walking back to my office, finishing the bread I bought, I got a text from my assistant, saying my next client was already here so, I needed to hurry back. Today was not my day that is sure. I kind of started to speedwalk, and that turned into running. I just hated it when my clients needed to wait for me because that didn’t seem professional.
As soon as I stepped into the building trying to catch my breath because of the running. I spotted a man who leaned against the wall in a black hoodie the hood was over his head, where a few blonde strings of his hair fell onto his forehead and his hoodie was paired with ripped black jeans.
"Good afternoon, sorry for being late!" I approached the strange man; it was his first time being here.
He quickly snapped his head up and looked at me with a bored and quite sharp expression. "Finally, I've been waiting for ten minutes already." He sighed staring at me with deadly eyes.
It didn't surprise me when my clients offended me and made me the wrong person. It was common when people didn't want to say anything at all to me or to be everywhere but here. Throughout the years I learned how to handle these kinds of people.
As our eyes met, that was the moment when I recognized this man, pictures from all over the media and the news appeared in my mind of the professional tennis player Kim Hongjoong.
I bowed my head a little as a sign of my apology. "My apologies, come in!" I opened the door with that and went in, to sit down in my armchair. He followed me with a disgusted expression as he looked around the room, and plopped down to the sofa. He was laying on his back with his legs pulled up, shoes still on, hands interlaced over his stomach, and closed his eyes, with his hood still on. I analyzed every little movement of his because it told me hundreds of things about him. I knew he wouldn't talk to me much, so my job was to read his moves. It was the kind of situation where we won't talk a lot because he just doesn't want to be here, it could be even that someone forced him to come here, or he just opens up with difficulty.
I was a tolerant woman and I knew, I needed to make him trust me.
"My name is Dr. Kwon Y/N, nice to meet you. Kim Hongjoong, right?" I asked with a warm voice as I crossed my legs and opened his files on my laptop that was on my legs. As I quickly glanced through his file, I immediately understood the reasons behind his behavior.
"Yeah. Can you stay quiet, I want to sleep." He said with a low voice, his eyes still closed.
I was in plenty of situations like this, sometimes people don’t know what is respect towards the other. You just needed to make them respect you.
"Well, you are not here to sleep right now, Hongjoong." I just looked at him with a knowing smile, because the next thing was that he opened his eyes and turned his head to look at me.
"Well, I don't want to talk." He turned his head back to stare at the ceiling.
"We don't have to talk about your problems or feelings, only if you want. But firstly, we are here to feel comfortable and to trust each other." I said, closing my laptop and leaning forward to place it on the small table that separated us.
Hongjoong just scoffed at that. "Yeah, right."
I leaned backward folding my arms. "What is your favorite color?"
He looked at me again with a confused expression. "Are you kidding me? Are we in kindergarten or what?"
"We have to start somewhere, aren't we?" I raised my eyebrows at him with a smile. I needed his attention and this was the best solution.
"It's black I guess." He said with a bored expression.
"Favorite animal?"
"Squirrel"
"Oh, that's an unusual one." I smiled. He just shrugged.
"Favorite place to go on a vacation?"
"I don't really have time for those things."
"But if you had time?"
He rolled his eyes. "Probably Greece."
"Greece is beautiful, I agree."
"Why did you choose tennis?" And here we are, the real-deal questions started now. I hoped he fell into my trap with the previous questions.
The question surprised him, but he just shrugged. "My dad showed it to me when I was younger and I immediately felt a connection with it." It was a short answer but told me a lot of things. Passion from childhood—noted.
"Something you like doing, other than tennis?"
"Nothing." I stood silent because I saw on his face he was thinking. "Probably driving. But I fucked that up too." His features changed to anger. It seemed like he was mad at himself. It was good. At least he knew something was up with him.
"You can get it back, it's not permanent," I said to him, trying to calm him with my soft voice.
"Well," he suddenly got up in a sitting pose and stared at me like it was my fault. "That was the only thing that could clear my head and I lost that too because I fucked up." He raised his voice, his expressions mirroring pure anger, that was pointed at me, but at the same time I knew he just couldn't face the mirror and to fully blame himself. At least he showed emotion, that was always a good sign, even if it were bad emotions.
"Sometimes people need to lose something that brings them joy, so they'll learn to live without it and find other things that bring them joy," I said seriously, looking deep into his eyes, trying to find a little light in them.
"Stop this bullshit, cliché speech. It's not true. When you lose something important to you, that will never come back." He was leaning over his knees with his elbows, his hands interlaced. He seemed vulnerable for a second, I saw a really broken part of him, that was going to be tough to put together, but there was no impossible task for me.
We weren't talking about driving I knew it; it was just easier to speak in metaphoric sentences.
"Yes, there are situations when that something won't ever come back, but that doesn't mean we have to destroy ourselves and live in self-pity for the rest of our lives." I just needed to stay calm and only beam positivity, even when people shouted at me, blaming me for everything.
"No, you don't understand." He stood up and buried his face into his hands in frustration. "I can't do this." He said and went to the door without looking at me.
"Thank you for coming today, Hongjoong! See you next time!" I told him quickly before he angrily slammed the door.
I sighed as the silence swallowed me. Being a therapist is one of the hardest jobs on earth. It is physically but especially mentally stressful and it can eat you alive if you let it. It not only affects your feelings, that you kind of have to close out every time you have a client, but you also have to transform into them and imagine yourself in their situations and their feelings. And these different types of feelings can really overwhelm you, it's cruel.
But in the end, when I see in people's eyes, after some sessions, that they changed and are trying to be better, it fulfills my heart, that is when I say, it is worth the ups and downs that come with it.
Hongjoong wasn't my first client to act like this; they were difficult to handle and required patience. However, I knew he would calm down one day, and we could have a sincere conversation.
That night I dreamt about a little boy's face, eyes full of passion, that looked so familiar but I still couldn't recognize it.
Hongjoong came back the next day and after. He was calmer than the first time. He slowly opened up to me, as we talked through the hours of the sessions, sometimes it went well, sometimes it was rather quiet, but we made progress.
"What does tennis mean to you?"
"It's my everything, that is what is left for me in this world. But I feel like it's slowly not enough to keep me here."
"Maybe you should try something new out."
"I'm only good at tennis, I tried to do sports like football, but I wasn't that passionate as for tennis."
"Do you want to give up on tennis?"
"I don't want to, but... I'm getting so bad at it because my feelings are eating me alive. I'm not the old unstoppable Kim Hongjoong who beat everyone who came his way."
"Fighting against your feelings won’t solve your problem. This is why you should speak about them."
"What if I don’t want to?"
"How does the media affect your feelings?"
"I don't give a fuck about the media, those are some fucked up people whose lives are so boring they need to bump their noses into other's life."
"It's a really good point of view, I agree they don't know the real reasons for people's actions, only what they see. But you can't say it never affected you."
He stood quiet for a second, thinking. "It affected me when they talked shit about my close ones."
"Do your friends support you?"
"Yes, I have only a few friends, but they support me in everything. Especially Wooyoung, who is like my brother."
I nodded. "Does Wooyoung live here?" Before he could say anything, I added. "Just if he's close enough so you can talk or hang out if needed."
"He lives in the city, we play football a lot of times together and hang out after for some drinks."
"Do you like to drink?"
"Who doesn't?"
"Replying to a question with a question. I see. You are learning from me." I smiled at him just to elevate the mood.
I saw a very little curve appear on his lips. We were heading in the right way.
"But back to my question. You know you did a lot of things while being drunk."
"Well, that is my only escape from this fucked-up world."
"But you know it affects other people as well, for example when you nearly caused an accident driving while being drunk."
"Do we really need to talk about this? I know I messed up, okay? You don’t have to shout at me for being stupid." His mood swings were like a child's—one moment he was cooperative, and the next he was angry for no apparent reason.
"Why did you become a therapist?" He asked, looking sincerely curious. It occurred a lot of times when my clients tried to ask things about my personal life and I only thought it was fair to reply to them but keep the boundaries in their place.
"It wasn't even my dream until 5 years now, the idea came suddenly and I realized I always liked to talk to people about feelings and give them advice," I said keeping eye contact with him as he was sitting in front of me.
"Did you always live here?" He asked, leaning back on the sofa.
"Yes." I smiled at him.
"Do you like it here?" I wasn't surprised by his questions, there was always a moment when people realized they didn't know anything about the person sitting in front of them, to whom they confessed their deepest feelings.
I looked out the window on my right and thought about the question. "I think, I do. Do you?"
"I hate it." He looked down at his hands when I turned my head back to look at him.
"Why?"
"Because a lot of shit things happened here."
"So why are you still here?"
He shrugged. "I don't know, I have nowhere to go."
"Maybe, you could go to Greece." I smiled at him.
"Yeah, maybe." He lifted his head to look at me a visible smile appearing on his lips.
"The night they caught you drunk in your car, what did you feel before?" I brought back that case because we needed to talk about that so I could understand what went through his head that night.
"Anger, heartbroken?" To my surprise, he answered, without getting angry at me. Maybe it was one of those good days of his.
"So you thought drinking and speeding through the highway would solve them?"
"I didn't think anything at all. I just needed to clear my head and that seemed the best solution."
I nodded. "Do you regret doing it?"
"Of course, I do…"
"That is a good sign. Sometimes we consciously won't admit our mistakes. But you did Hongjoong and that is a very big progress."
It was a dark, rainy day, with clouds obscuring the sun's feeble attempts to warm the world after a freezing winter. I was at work, having already seen a few clients. Some sessions went smoothly, while others made me wish I could run to the ends of the earth.
And when Kim Hongjoong came in, it continued. We made a lot of progress throughout the weeks. It went well. But something happened again because when I saw Hongjoong I felt like it was like the first time he came in. No emotions, just the bored face, and the I-don't-give-a-fuck-attitude. It felt like we started everything from the beginning like we didn't even speak the past few weeks.
"What's on your mind?" I started, hoping I wouldn't play with the string of his nerves.
He sighed. "I don't want to talk today." He leaned back on the sofa and stared at the ceiling.
I nodded. "Alright, we don't have to."
I just opened my laptop and started to reply my emails that I haven't had the time to reply to. But it was also a tactical move, I knew he would feel bothered because I didn’t pay attention to him.
I felt his gaze on me after a while. I looked up from my laptop, adjusting my glass as my eyes met with his. His expressions were confused rather than angry.
I lifted my eyebrows. "Yes?"
He looked away, seeming a little shy after being caught staring. "So, we won't talk?"
"You just said you don't want to talk."
"I know but it's strange sitting here and not talking."
"We can talk."
He just nodded, his lips forming a thin line. He was dressed in all black again—black jeans and a black T-shirt, along with a black cap that hid his eyes. With his tattoo ‘No1likeme’ on the inside of his upper arm peeking out.
I observed that when he was in higher spirits, he tended to wear brighter colors such as orange and beige. Conversely, when he dressed in all black, it signaled that he might not be feeling his best.
"What do you want to talk about?" I asked with my full attention on him.
He shrugged. "I don't know. What's your favorite color?" He looked genuinely interested, his eyes slightly hidden beneath his cap, making his gaze darker.
"Look around and try to figure it out." I smiled at him.
He slowly lifted his head and hummed his eyes scanning the whole room, taking it in, analyzing. I was watching him the whole time, his sharp jawline and characteristic nose on the sight.
"Is it orange?" He asked, his attention back on me.
I chuckled. "It is, it wasn’t impossible to guess."
He smiled at that too. Whenever he smiled, it was like witnessing the world's eighth wonder—a unique and rare occurrence that could rival any God’s smile.
"What is one word you don't like?" I asked.
"Love. It's just so overrated." Again, his expression changed as he was staring down at his hands thinking.
"Don't you love someone?"
"It's not that I don't love. It's just…" He adjusted himself on the sofa straightening up a little. "It's just doesn't embrace truthfully how I feel."
"How would you express it then?"
He paused, carefully choosing his words. "I treasure the people I feel close to. Everything they give me, whether it's gestures or words, they're little treasures that I keep deep in my heart, like in a small chest. And from that chest, I give to others. It might sound silly, but that's just how I feel." His voice sounded uncertain as if this were the most vulnerable moment of his life.
My heart started racing, and I began to feel what he felt, causing my heart to ache.
"It is a very unique and beautiful way to think of love, it’s not stupid at all," I said understandingly.
"But sometimes no matter how much you treasure the people you love, life takes them away anyway." He slowly stood up and walked to the window as his voice came out unsure.
I stood quiet because I knew he wanted to keep going. He ran his fingers through his blonde hair. "What did I do to deserve this?" The fingers in his hair grabbed his hair and pulled it as I saw his back only. "I fucked up." He raised his voice.
I stood up but refrained from approaching him, knowing he could explode at any moment.
"What happened Hongjoong?" I asked with a calm voice.
"I couldn't say goodbye to her." His voice sounded weak like he was crying.
"To whom?" Tears appeared in my eyes as well, this was the most difficult topic of my life I could never speak easier about this even if it was the hundredth time.
"My little sister." He whispered his shoulders moving up and down as he was breathing heavier. "I couldn't keep her safe." He yelled and in a fit of rage, he swept the plants off the windowsill, sending them crashing to the floor. The pots shattered, and soil scattered across the room.
I trembled from the sudden sounds of the shattered pots my heart pounding in fear. I saw a lot of situations throughout my career, but this—never.
"I couldn't keep her safe and now she is gone." He calmed down a little as his knees got weak and he fell on the ground his face in his palms.
My breathing grew heavier. There were strict boundaries between therapists and clients—any personal connection was strictly prohibited. But... how could I stand by while he was broken on the floor with shattered pots and dirty soil around him?
I approached him slowly and knelt beside him, extending my hand toward him as he stared down at his hands, lost in his own thoughts. I hesitated, afraid to touch him, but I knew I had to take the risk. When my hand gently landed on his shoulder, he lifted his head to look at me with wide eyes.
"It's okay it's not your fault, Hongjoong. Life can be cruel and make us believe it is our fault but sometimes we can't do anything to stop what was already written." I carefully lifted my hand towards his face to wipe his tears. As soon as I realized what was I doing I quickly withdrew my hands. But before I could do that, he grabbed my wrist and held it against his face staring into my wide eyes.
"Can you hug me?" He asked with an unsure voice.
"Y-yes." My heart wanted to jump out of my chest because I knew I couldn't do such things, I couldn't bond with my clients emotionally, but it was just too late because we had so much in common with Hongjoong it was impossible not to.
I slowly wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him close. The scent of sweet caramel filled my nostrils, instantly calming me and prompting me to draw him even closer. His hands encircled my waist, gently lifting me as I settled into his lap. And I let him do it without a word, my only intent was to bring him comfort.
"How could I forgive myself?" He whispered into the crook of my neck, wetting it with his tears.
"Time will make you believe it wasn't your fault, trust me. Time heals everything." My hands unconsciously started to caress his back when he nuzzled his nose into my neck.
"I couldn't say her goodbye." He whispered weakly.
Tears welled up in my eyes as memories of my own began to flood my mind. Memories that I dig deep down so I won't ever have to remember. A little boy's face I saw every night in my dreams. A little boy's face, that slowly faded away.
"She's watching you from above," I whispered weekly.
And then someone shut the door outside and reality hit me suddenly making me jump out of Hongjoong's lap.
"My next client is here. You should go. Thank you for coming," I said, avoiding his eyes, and realizing the line I had crossed. I walked over to another door where supplies were kept, kneeling to begin cleaning up the mess he had made.
"Let me help you, please. I'm so sorry, Y/N!" I closed my eyes, hearing my name. He kneeled next to me to gather the shattered pieces but I didn’t let him.
"You don't have to help me. My next client is here, so please leave," I stated flatly, glancing at him without showing any emotion. He stared at me wide-eyed, as if unable to believe what I was saying. Then, he dropped the pieces he was holding, stood up abruptly, and left the room, slamming the door behind him. I trembled at the sound, and tears began to stream down my face uncontrollably. But I couldn't allow myself to break down here when others needed my help. I wiped away my tears, took a deep breath to compose myself, and began cleaning up the mess.
To my next client, I appeared as an always smiling and understanding woman, offering advice that could save their life. But who would save mine?
After that day, I thought I would never hear from Hongjoong again. Perhaps he felt he had opened up to me only to have his feelings disregarded. I respected his emotions, but they overwhelmed me, and I was hesitant to deepen our connection. It didn't seem fair. Yet, he returned and acted as if nothing had happened on that dark, rainy day. We resumed our therapist-client relationship, asking each other questions as if he hadn't cried on my shoulder just a few days earlier.
It was a Friday evening when my last client left, it was late in the afternoon the sun was slowly disappearing, switching places with the moon. I locked the door of my office and left the building to sit in my car.
When I shut the door, sudden emotions hit me like a train that had no breaks. I needed to grab the steering wheel. All day I needed to put on a mask and smile for the people who needed reassurance and tell them only positive things that made them feel better.
I needed to keep my emotions in, which flooded like water crushing into a dam's cement walls. I needed to keep them back and just make that wall thicker, and stronger so it won't break. But there were already some thin cracks on it.
I breathed in and out slowly. This day was the worst of the year in five years. Today five years ago I lost my little brother in a bus accident that was a fault of a man driving drunk. And that school bus was just there at the wrong time, taking the lives of many little kids who were the most innocent human beings on earth. I broke that day, just like my parents, who still did not process what happened. Life was unfair and I blamed God, destiny, and everything I could just so it could be better. But it didn't, it happened and I just couldn't do anything at all. My little brother was the sweetest thing in this cruel world. He was only 7 years old, but he was so smart and kindhearted compared to his age. He simply did not deserve this fate, just like the other kids who died that day. Since that day, I see his face in my dreams which are sometimes nightmares, as the accident is playing in my head, even though I wasn't even there when it happened. But his face slowly disappears in my dreams, it's starting to get blurry and I was terrified on the fact, slowly I won't even remember his face.
Psychology was the thing that saved me from burying myself in the dark. Studying distracted me and after I finished college, I settled for a job that was being a therapist and hearing other people's problems and dark thoughts—which sometimes scared me to death—but after working in this field for 5 years now, I realized this is just people—people who only need help, a helping hand that guides them towards the light. In the process of guiding them, I slowly helped myself out alongside them, their thoughts and problems being the priority of my life, distracting me from my real problems.
But on that day, I couldn't hold it back any longer. After gathering myself, I drove to the cemetery with a bucket of flowers in hand. The cemetery appeared dark, reminiscent of scenes from horror movies, with only a few faint lights illuminating the path ahead. I knew the way to my little brother's grave as well as I knew the back of my own hand. The weather was chilly, and I hugged myself tightly for warmth, clutching the bucket of white lilies.
When I reached my little brother's grave, I couldn't contain my emotions any longer. Everything I had been holding back broke through like a dam bursting, and I fell to my knees, crying uncontrollably.
"I miss you my little bud." My tears wetted my cheeks, the moon above illuminating my brother’s grave as I whispered into the quiet. My sobbing echoed through the dark and quiet cemetery. I had never truly had friends who could be there as shoulders to cry on. It's one of the reasons being a therapist is challenging. Friends often come to see you as the sole stable point in their lives, where they can vent about their struggles and expect reassurance and advice without offering much in return. The problem was they only saw me as their therapist-friend. Over time, I grew accustomed to it and began to cut ties with those who were only friends with me for this reason.
I was still kneeling on the dirty ground, miles away from the real world as I just stared at my little brother's grave that said 'Rest in peace forever, our brightest star'.
"Y/N?" I heard a voice that seemed strange but a voice I felt like I had known my whole life.
I glanced to my left and saw a man standing there in dark clothes with a hood on. Blonde strands of hair partially hiding his eyes.
"Hongjoong?" My voice came out weak, almost like a whisper. I quickly wiped my tears away, it was a habit of mine, where no one could see me in any vulnerable state.
"What are you doing here at this hour? You'll get cold." He stepped closer with a confused expression.
"I—I just… visited my little brother." I couldn't take my eyes off him as he slowly kneeled next to me, the universe now turning as the other time it was me kneeling next to a broken Hongjoong. He looked at me with a broken expression and slowly reached his hand to wipe my tears away.
"I'm so sorry for your loss." He whispered, cupping my face into his hands. "It could have been difficult when I spoke about my sister. You are so strong, Y/N." His voice was filled with concern, his eyes watering as I broke again and started to cry again. For myself, but for Hongjoong’s loss as well.
"Come here," he said, pulling my head closer to his neck so I could breathe in his sweet caramel scent, which enveloped us both. "It's okay, let it all out. You deserve to." He gently stroked my hair, then slowly slid his hands behind my thighs and lifted me onto his lap. I settled onto his lap, wrapping my arms around his neck and burying my face into the crook of his neck. Throughout, he continued to caress my back and hair, whispering reassuring words that melted my heart. Gradually, his calming caramel scent helped me feel better.
"Let's get out of here, you are shivering." He said putting distance between us to look into my eyes, I just nodded, as he slowly took off his black hoodie, and despite my resistance, he helped me wear it. It made me look small, its sleeves hiding my hands, but it was so warm it made me forget how cold I had felt. He slowly lifted me off his lap and helped me up like I was a porcelain.
"And what are you doing here at this hour?" I asked looking up at him as he held my waist.
"Visited my sister." He gave me an understanding smile.
"Oh, they are in the same cemetery? Then they have company at least." I smiled, imagining his sister and my brother playing around, even though I never saw her.
"Yeah, I am sure they are having fun." He smiled genuinely. "Did you come by car?" He asked as we started to walk towards the exit in the dark and terrifying cemetery, while he was still holding me by my waist, scared I might fall at any moment.
"Ah, yes," I replied, trying to ground myself back in reality. I hated when people saw my vulnerable side and perceived me as fragile as glass.
"Let me drive you home, I won't let you drive in this state." He said looking at me with concerned eyes.
"I'm okay, I can drive. And you don't even have a driver's license Hongjoong." I looked at him and frowned.
"I don't care I won't let you go home alone." He seemed determined and I was too tired to fight against him.
So I let him drive my car, to where I lived even though he had no available license, but he didn't seem to care about that so neither did I. We managed to arrive at my place without the police handcuffing Hongjoong on top of my car and I felt relieved at that.
"Thank you," I looked at him grabbing the handle. I was tired and I just wanted to get a warm shower and collapse into my bed. "You can take yourself home I'll get my car tomorrow." I chuckled as I said to him.
Hongjoong chuckled at that too. "Now you are not scared I'll get arrested?" He smiled sweetly which warmed my cold heart.
"Sounds like a you problem. If you get arrested, I'll just say you stole my car." I lifted my hands with a teasing smile.
"Hah, of course you would," he remarked, reaching his hand quickly to pinch my cheek. "Okay, but only if I can take you somewhere tomorrow," he added, leaning back in the driver's seat.
I looked at him confused. "You know we can't do that."
"Why?" He asked mirroring my expression.
"Because you are my client?" I asked my brows furrowing further.
"And you think I give a shit about that?" He leaned closer to my face as he whispered it.
"But then I won't be able to hold your sessions anymore," I tried to say, attempting to create some distance, but finding myself frozen in place, the words nearly escaping me.
"I don't care, I just want to be with you." He said leaning even closer, our warm breaths melting together.
"You barely know me," I stated.
"I'm going to change that." He whispered onto my lips and then leaned back looking at my slightly blushed face satisfied.
"I'll text you, sleep well!" He said with a confident smile, winking at me.
"How do you know my number?" I asked him frowning.
"Dear, you are my therapist." He said with a shit-eating grin.
"Well, not anymore," I replied, rolling my eyes with a smile that I couldn't suppress. I stepped out of my car, only to watch it roll away. A sincere smile spread across my face as I saw him drive off.
Might Kim Hongjoong be the person who saves me?
The next day, Hongjoong texted me that he would pick me up at 6 p.m. and told me to wear comfortable clothes. Unsure of what he meant exactly, I opted for sweatpants, a white crop top, and white sneakers. I also brought along my black sweatshirt, as the weather was still cool in the middle of spring.
When I stepped out of my apartment and went down to wait for Hongjoong, I looked up at the sky and it was slightly cloudy, it might rain in the evening and before I could run back to get an umbrella Hongjoong was rolling near the sidewalk so I could jump in.
"Hello there." He smiled at me sweetly taking me in with his gaze.
"Hi," I said, nearly blushing under his sharp gaze. I quickly glanced at him and noticed he was wearing black shorts that reached his knees paired with a white T-shirt. We were unintentionally matching.
"Okay soo," He looked at me unbuckling his seatbelt. "I think you should drive because I don't want to risk it anymore." He chuckled a little embarrassed.
I chuckled at that too. "As you shouldn't, I told you." I opened the passenger seat's door to switch places. When we met at the front of the car, he pinched my waist and quickly sat in the passenger seat smiling.
"Buckle up Mr. Kim, if you want to survive," I said with a teasing voice buckling my seatbelt.
"Yes, my lady!" He saluted as I laughed loudly.
I started to drive as Hongjoong told me the directions where we were going because I had no idea where we were going and he didn't want to tell me so I just drove where he said.
In the meantime, we carpooled a bit, because it's a must, and we both love shouting along to music. I put on Beach Weather's "Chit Chat," and we belted out the lyrics together.
"So come on, get your fix now, now, now"
"You drive me crazy with that"
"Chit chat do you want that"
"Or wanna take me home tonight?"
"I thought I told you, I really need you sugar"
"I'm going supernova"
When we arrived at a parking lot, I looked around, trying to figure out where we were. My jaw dropped when I realized.
"Are we going to play tennis?" I looked at him wide-eyed.
He chuckled sweetly. "Yes, if it's okay with you. Do you know how to play it?" His smile never left his lips and I loved it.
"Hmm, let me think…" I looked straight as we were still in the car. "I actually hate tennis." I side glanced at him waiting for his reaction.
He gasped forming an 'o' with his mouth. "Really? How dare you Kwon Y/N?" He seemed like he couldn't believe what I said, but this was the truth, tennis just seemed boring looking at it on the TV.
"Maybe, but just maybe you could change that." I smiled at him as I opened the door and got out of the car.
He got out as well and went to the back of the car to get his equipment and there was also a basket which I assumed was for a picnic.
"Ahw, is that a picnic basket?" I looked at him leaning against my car.
He closed the rear door with the basket and the equipment in hand and he slowly approached me hovering over me.
"Is there any problem with it?" he whispered; his lips so close to mine that I could feel his warm breath. His caramel scent enveloped me, making my knees weak.
"Not at all, it’s sweet," I whispered eyeing between his eyes and lips as I bit my lips. He looked so hot like this; I didn't know if I could keep it up anymore.
"Then let me teach you how to play tennis," he said, leaning close to my ear as he nuzzled into my neck. "God, I love how you smell," he whispered. At that moment, I needed air, feeling like I might faint. It felt like being a teenager again when my first crush approached me, leaving me uncertain if this was good or not.
I would've never thought I was going a date—I guess it was a date—with the professional tennis player Kim Hongjoong, who always seemed like an asshole in the videos I saw of him, and my first impression as a therapist wasn't also the best of him, but the truth is, he is just a lost man in the middle of his twenties who had none left in this world only tennis was the only thing that kept him going, that slowly slipped through his hands as well. But I really hoped he was going to find his way back to the passion that kept him going and I am going to help him find the way back to the light not because this was my job, but because in this short time, I started to care for him, not like I cared for my other clients, it was deeper and something invisible connected us that I couldn't name.
The tennis court was empty, illuminated by streetlights, with Hongjoong heading to the entrance to switch on the five floodlights. The court glowed green and a light shade of orange, divided by a net in the middle. I stepped onto the field, looking around in awe, as I had never been on a tennis court before. To our right were the seats where the crowd would cheer for the players. I was certain that one day I would be sitting there, cheering for Hongjoong with all my heart if everything went the right way.
"So," Hongjoong broke the silence. "Do you like it?" I turned as I saw his sweet smile.
"It's okay, I guess," I teased with a smile. I noticed he had already started unpacking the things he brought from the basket, laying a blanket near the net. He looked so sweet like this.
"I didn't know you were the romantic type," I said slowly approaching him, kneeling next to him to help him unpack all the food and sweets he brought.
"Well, it depends on the person." He side-glanced at me as he sat down on the blanket.
"Oh, should I feel special?" I sat down next to him, our shoulders slightly touching as I looked at him with serious eyes.
He looked back at me, tilting his head to the side and giving me a sharp glance. At that moment, I realized how close he was. His blonde hair perfectly highlighted his sharp eyes, and his cheekbones had a slight pink tint. My heart started to race, my body felt hotter than ever, and he hadn't even kissed me. I wondered if I could survive a kiss from him. I glanced at his thin lips, curved slightly in a smile. Up close, his face looked even more chiseled. He was so handsome that I finally understood why he was a famous tennis player. It wasn't just his skills; it was also how incredibly good-looking he was.
"Will we eat sometime or you will stare more?" Hongjoong's voice brought me back from my inner thoughts and as I realized I was staring the whole time I felt as my face got a little warm.
"Don't get over yourself, you did the same." I chuckled as I looked at the food and picked up a sandwich with ham and salad.
"How could I have not stared?" His voice came out low as he picked some green grapes and threw them into his mouth.
"Oh, shut up," I said, playfully bumping him with my shoulder as he chuckled.
"Make me." He leaned closer and smiled at me teasingly.
I laughed at that. "Does this work on other girls too?" I asked, hiding my mouth behind my hands as I tried to swallow the sandwich, nearly choking in the process.
He shrugged. "Don't know, haven't tried it."
"So, the bad guy image you created, isn't true?" I said looking at him suspiciously, finishing my sandwich.
"The media created that image, not me." He looked ahead as he supported himself on his hands behind his back, his legs straight.
"It must be hard, like…" I glanced at his side profile. "They follow every step of yours and they are waiting for you when are you going to make a mistake."
"It was hard at the beginning, there weren't anyone beside me, I was all alone…" He leaned forward and pulled his legs up his elbows on his knees. "But I got used to it with time and didn't give a shit about them."
I did the same, pulling my knees to my chest and hugging them. "Your parents…what happened with them?" I looked at him with soft eyes. "If you don't want to talk about it, it's okay."
"No, no, I want to. It was a long time ago…" He glanced at me briefly before looking down at his hands in front of him.
"They both died in a car accident when I was only 16. Just before the accident, I had started playing tennis. My dad encouraged me to play, and I couldn’t be more grateful for introducing me to this sport. After the accident, my sister and I were sent to an orphanage." His voice faltered slightly. I reached my hand toward his back and gently caressed it. "They even separated us because of the age gap. She was only 5 back then. We didn't have any relatives who could adopt us. So, I waited two years until I could take Byeol with me."
"It must have been difficult, you were only 18 and taking care of her and yourself at that age…" I looked at him as tears welled up in my eyes. This man went through hell and he was still here smiling.
"Yeah, well, she died too, in another accident... How is any of this fair, Y/N?" He rested his head on my shoulder, and I gently brushed my fingers through his hair.
"It's not fair at all. Nothing is fair. But we just can't do anything, we have to keep moving for them right?" I traced my hands from his hair to his cheeks, to his jaw to pull him up so I could look into his eyes.
"Right?" I asked him again caressing his cheeks.
"Right." He smiled genuinely at me.
He sighed and stood up. "Okay, enough of the sad moments. Let me teach you some real tennis," he said, offering his right hand to help me up. I accepted it, and he pulled me to my feet.
"So, this is your side and the other is mine." He pointed at the other side of the field and went to grab the rackets and the tennis ball.
"What if we play a game?" I asked, observing his reaction.
"What game?" he asked curiously.
"We ask each other questions every time we pass the ball," I suggested.
He looked excited and agreed, saying, "I'm in."
With that, he handed me one of the rackets. "You have to hold the racket like this," he began, explaining the main rules of tennis quickly and enthusiastically. The way he explained it, I almost felt like starting a tennis career (though I won't).
We started passing the ball to each other, and at first, I wasn't very good at it. But with practice, I improved, and soon we could pass the ball to each other at least five times without it going out or accidentally hitting Hongjoong. We were making progress.
As we played, we asked each other questions, gradually getting to know each other better. I had so much fun the whole time; I couldn't remember the last time I laughed this much. In recent years, my life hadn't been filled with happiness and laughter. It was all about work and making my clients happy.
It was never about me, but I realized I couldn’t have a life were I just serve people, trying to fix them, my happiness was also important and Hongjoong made me realize this, even though he was the same—his worldview was similar to mine. We always saw our little siblings in the back of our minds, even though they would've wanted us to be happy, but we were too stuck in self-pity and how life was unfair, we didn't notice how much we destroyed ourselves. So, we just need to put it behind us, they are always going to live in our hearts, no matter what. We are going to live for them.
As we passed the ball to each other and jogged in place, I started feeling like I might collapse. I wasn't the fittest person on earth, and after half an hour of playing, I was tired. We were so engrossed in the game that we didn't even notice the dark clouds gathering above us. It wasn't until a sudden rainstorm caught us off-guard that we realized, standing there soaked in the middle of the field, looking at each other and laughing.
Instead of caring about the rain, we continued playing. But then I cheated by not hitting the ball back properly, and Hongjoong jumped over the net that separated us, chasing after me. I screamed like a 12-year-old, our inner children coming to life as we ran, our sibling-like spirits taking over. But I didn't stand a chance—he caught my waist from behind and twirled me around. I laughed so hard from the surprise and joy that I couldn't stop.
"Got you!" He chuckled, as he took me down and hugged me from behind as we both were soaked the rain still pouring.
Then he slowly turned me around to face him. He was smiling so sweetly, his wet blonde hair glued to his forehead just as my hair. He reached his hand towards my face to brush off a string of wet hair behind my ear. His fingers tracing down from my ear to my neck, then to my jaw up to my lips where waterdrops dropped down to my already soaked top. He traced my bottom lips gently wiping the drops away. Our expressions turned serious, every goofiness leaving our soul as we both stared at the other taking in the other as the rain made us more beautiful. He looked so breathtaking with the passion burning in his eyes, his lips parted and the waterdrops that were on his lips made him more attractive. As his hands cupped both sides of my jaw, he slowly started to close the distance between us.
"I wanted to kiss you since the first time I saw you." He whispered onto my lips, his eyes never leaving mine.
"It didn't seem like that." I teased him with a slight smile.
"I'm sorry…" He leaned his forehead against mine.
"Just shut up and kiss me!" I said to him seriously.
He chuckled and finally closed the distance not even thinking a second, his lips crushed into mine like it was destined to each other. Our lips moved in synchrony as I could taste the rain that still soaked us with its full power, but I couldn't mind, because at that moment I didn't feel anything except Hongjoong's lips on mine, that tasted like sweet caramels mixed with the taste of rain. It felt like I was in paradise, as his hands moved from my jaw down my spine to my waist, he grabbed it and pulled me impossibly closer to him, our bodies melting together, closing the rain out. It felt like a relief, kissing him like my soul finally found its peace. When one of Hongjoong's hands dug into my hair at my nape, I unconsciously parted my lips and his tongue immediately found its way into my mouth as I wrapped my hands around his neck deepening the kiss. I felt like I might faint between his arms, as I had no oxygen left and he just simply made me feel weak like I could slip through his hands easily. But his arms held me strongly like a pillar and made me feel safe.
When we separated, he leaned his forehead against mine, out of breath and soaked till bone he leaned again towards my lips and gave little pecks onto my wet lips like he couldn't get enough of me.
"Let's go, we are going to catch a cold even though it might be too late." I smiled up at him, my hands still around his neck.
"Can I take you to my house?" He asked with a sweet smile his voice barely hearable because of the rain as his hands were still on my waist holding me close to his body. "Well technically you are going to take us to my house but you know." He chuckled.
"Yeah, let's go," I said, pulling away from him, still feeling the effects of the kiss that had made my legs weak. It was strange kissing Hongjoong, yet at the same time, it felt like the most natural thing in the world. I never imagined someone could make me smile the way he did that day.
Since my little brother passed away, I often felt undeserving of happiness. But today, this realization hit me hard. He would have wanted me to be happy, not to dwell in self-destruction. I tried to be happy, but I never felt truly happy, and I wasn't sure if that was even possible. However, right now, with Hongjoong by my side, I felt like I was on the path towards happiness.
When we arrived at Hongjoong's house, I was utterly fascinated. I already knew he was wealthy, being a professional athlete, but the house I saw surpassed all expectations—truly, I'm not exaggerating. It was colossal, almost like a modern castle. The exterior boasted white walls with expansive windows, sharp architectural features, and a garden adorned with delicate garden lamps. I even caught sight of a pool in the back.
Parking the car in the garage, we entered through a door that led directly into the living room—a space that was larger than my entire apartment. The main colors were black and white, with touches of brown. In the center of the room sat a black couch flanked by armchairs on each side. Opposite the sofa was a massive TV that seemed bigger than me. The walls were adorned with Renaissance paintings of various landscapes, which I admired until Hongjoong brought me some clothes, urging me to shower and change out of my soaked attire that clung uncomfortably to my skin. I hesitated to sit on the luxurious-looking couch, opting instead to explore the expansive space.
Moving slowly towards the fireplace—because of course, there was one—I observed the framed pictures displayed there. I guessed correctly that the photos were of Hongjoong with his little sister, and a picture of his parents when they were younger. Nearby were trophies he had won, along with a photo of a younger Hongjoong on a tennis field, beaming proudly while clutching a trophy larger than himself. His smile in that photo was so joyful and proud it touched my heart deeply. At that moment, I resolved to bring back that carefree Hongjoong—the one who only cared about winning games and making his little sister and parents proud. I wanted to see him smile like that again.
And when my eyes narrowed further it stuck on a framed picture that felt both familiar and strange at the same time. I had this picture at my home, framed but this picture was in Hongjoong’s house. My heart began to race, and I felt light-headed. The picture showed kids smiling happily to the camera with so much happiness, radiating pure joy. But I couldn't smile, because my little brother stared back at me from that picture.
"Here are some clothes that may fit you, I hope they are okay." I heard Hongjoong's voice behind me, but it seemed so far away I could barely hear what he said. I felt like suddenly I couldn't breathe, my lungs were full of air but I couldn't get myself to breathe it out. It stuck, just as my world stopped, at that moment and I couldn't believe what I saw.
Then I suddenly felt hands on my shoulders that brought me back to Hongjoong's living room, as I was still staring at the framed picture.
"Hey, are you okay?" I heard Hongjoong's worried voice on my left, as he was still holding me, turning me to face him, by my shoulders.
I slowly tilted my head up to meet his gaze, and I didn't even notice tears were falling down my cheeks, Hongjoong's concerned eyes met mine, filled with worry and uncertainty.
"Did something happen Y/N?" He reached his hand towards my cheeks to wipe my tears away.
I could finally breathe out the air that was stuck in my lungs and slowly reached my hands towards the picture bringing it between us. "I-is…w-was this your sister's class?" My voice came out unsure and weak as I felt I couldn't breathe again.
Hongjoong slowly took the picture from my hand, his expression softening into a slight smile. "Yes, she's in the middle. They took this on the day of the accident," he said quietly, pointing at his little sister in the photograph. His smile carried a tinge of sadness.
That was when I couldn't hold back anymore. I broke down, sobbing uncontrollably. Hongjoong looked at me with wide eyes, clearly bewildered by my sudden outburst. But as I gazed at the picture again, I realized something shocking—next to his little sister was a smiling boy who was unmistakably my brother. They were holding hands. It couldn't be true. It couldn't be that we both lost our siblings in the same accident and that they were friends, perhaps even best friends.
I buried my hands in my face as tears streamed down, my legs giving way beneath me. Before I could collapse completely, Hongjoong caught me and held me in his arms. I felt hollow, like an empty box that once held cherished memories but was now vacant. We both ended up on the floor, with Hongjoong holding me close, whispering comforting words and gently stroking my back and hair as I sobbed into his neck.
After a while, I began to feel a bit calmer. I realized it was best to explain to Hongjoong why I was crying before he thought I was irrational.
My hands reached towards the framed picture on the floor and my fingers traced through the middle where our siblings were holding hands. "This is my brother next to your sister. They are holding hands." I pointed at my brother on the picture whispering it in a weak voice.
Silence hung heavy between us, and when I didn't hear a response, I lifted my gaze to find Hongjoong's head tilted toward the picture in between us. He was staring at our siblings captured in that moment. Gently, I reached out and touched his jaw, turning his face towards mine. His eyes glistened with tears that rolled down his cheeks, each one precious as it traced a path across his face. With my thumb, I wiped away the tears and then embraced him tightly, climbing onto his lap. His arms wrapped around my waist, pulling me close to him, offering comfort and solace in our shared grief.
"At least they are together up above," I whispered into his ears as tears fell from my eyes again. It was me now, who tried to comfort him, as he did before without any word. I caressed his back then my fingers brushed through his blonde hair from his nape his hair was still a little wet. I put a little distance between us and leaned my forehead against his. "Are you okay?" I whispered it close to his lips.
"At least they are together." He repeated my words. "And we are here for each other too." His hands found their way up to my jaw and cupped it as the barely lit living room lights illuminated his face.
"We are," I whispered as I smiled at him slightly.
Then he pulled me closer to his lips as he cupped my face and I immediately felt at ease as his lips sealed against mine with passion I never felt in my life. Caramel scent embraces us with warmth, our soaked clothes are long forgotten. His lips moved against mine with a burning desire that whispered a promise between us to be there for each other forever.
The next thing I know is me being pushed against the wet wall of the bathroom, the water falling on us from the shower head above us, Hongjoong's lips on mine, our saliva mixing with the water, our hands interlaced above my head as we kissed each other with fire even the water falling on us couldn't stop the burning desire we felt for each other as his lips found their way down my neck, sucking on it, leaving little love marks here and there, as quiet moans escaped my mouth. The bathroom's walls echo the sounds our mouths made. As he whispered words into my ear that promised us a bright future together as we united our faith.
Two souls destined to meet, to heal from the sorrow their siblings' deaths left in their lives. Two souls that were destined to each other so they could find their way back to life, that is full of vibrant colors again, together. ��
A/N: Soo, that happened, lol. I just wanted to tell you I might write a part 2 for this story, only if I feel it tbh, because it is really just the beginning of their story. I have already some ideas of how I could continue it because let's think about it. Hongjoong is famous and lives in the media, and the paparazzi always find out everything so how would the media affect their relationship?
(Ateez masterlist)
#orshii#kim hongjoong x reader#kim hongjoong#kim hongjoong oneshot#hongjoong oneshot#hongjoong#hongjoong x reader#hongjoong fluff#kim hongjoong fluff#hongjoong angst#kim hongjoong angst#hongjoong smut#kim hongjoong smut#hongjoong ateez#kim hongjoong ateez#ateez x reader#ateez fluff#ateez angst#ateez smut#ateez oneshot#ateez fanfic#hongjoong fanfic#kim hongjoong fanfic#ateez imagines#ateez scenarios#park seonghwa#jeong yunho#kang yeosang#choi san#jung wooyoung
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You're Mine
Title: You’re Mine
Rating: Explicit, 18+, Minors - DNI
Pairing: Dark!Daddy!Geralt x Female!Reader
Word Count: 1.8K
Prompts: Geralt of Rivia + Female Reader + Daddy Kink + “Can you feel how much I want you?” + Darkfic, requested by @chibijusstuff
Summary: After coming back from a hunt, you find out that Geralt isn’t himself.
Warnings: Daddy Kink, pet names for Reader (little one, my sweet), Darkfic, dark!Geralt, drugged!Geralt, choking, biting, scratching, manipulation, Geralt rips Readers underwear off, non-con, unprotected p-in-v sex, creampie, mention of bodily fluids, memory lapse, bathtime as aftercare, cuddling, possessiveness, dead dove: do not eat
A/N: Unbeta'd, because I was impatient about posting this. All mistakes are mine.
Dividers by me
Support/Reblog banner by me
Cover Art by me
Sweet Treats Event 2024 Masterlist
My Masterlist
You’ve been watching him for hours from your spot in a nearby chair as he kneels in front of the fire. The silver wolf's face on his medallion shines brightly from the flickering embers, suspended from his chest. The remnants of the potion in his system show themselves in deep, black cracking lines on his ashen skin that radiate from his closed eyes. He has never taken this long to shake off the effects of any of the mixtures he carries in his pack, and your concern is beginning to grow.
He barely acknowledged you when he came home in the early morning hours. He placed his swords in their spot by the door, shed his armor, and took his place in front of the fire to warm himself and meditate. The longer he remains in that spot, the more you wring your hands with concern.
You were but a commoner; you hadn’t much knowledge of the Witcher lifestyle before meeting Geralt in that tavern. And even now, Geralt wasn’t the most forthcoming with things he deemed ‘unnecessary for you to concern yourself with’, as he put it. You hadn’t the faintest idea of what was in his potions, let alone how to make them.
You only knew that he was usually back to himself by now.
Another thing you noticed was that his scent had changed. He tended to keep the smell of whatever beast or monster he had slain. But all you could smell were flowers, and more specifically, the aroma of tuberose.
Heady and exotic, the scent of tuberose is one you are accustomed to. Your mother would use tuberose oil as a perfume, saying it would lure in men with its sweet honey and warm spice combination. Your poor father had died years prior, and your mother barely waited for the dirt in his grave to settle before she was out with other men. But that’s a story for a different day.
Even though the oil performed just as she promised, you couldn't quite grasp why she never revealed the source of that unique blend to you. Of course, you called it magic, but she would always shake her head and say there was no way it was magical. She claimed it was a gift from an elderly beggar woman to whom she had once given a handful of orens. You knew well enough not to push any further, but that doesn’t mean you forgot that story.
Or that smell.
You were so in your thoughts that you almost missed Geralt’s grumbling. Your eyes returned to his face, and this time, his eyes looked at you. Gone was the golden yellow iris you had come to love, only to be replaced with full, black eyes. Black, like you never saw black. Nothingness.
Rising from the floor, he bares his teeth and growls lowly. You stand up from your chair and raise your hands in front of you.
“Geralt?” You attempt, moving backward when he takes a step forward. “Daddy...” you trail off as he smiles at you, a devilish grin showing his sharp canines.
“My sweet little one. Don’t you look delectable?” Geralt coos, crowding into your space as you are backed into the wall behind you.
His hands rest on either side of your head on the wall while he noses at your neck, no doubt smelling the fear-induced arousal that is shooting through your entire body.
“Daddy? Why don’t we take it slow? You’re not yourself yet-”
His hand flies to your throat, tightening at the sides. “You wish to refuse me that which is rightfully mine?”
“Geralt, I-”
“Ah, ah. Try again, little one,” he cautions, his grip on your neck ever sure.
“Daddy, I’m scared,” you breathe, tears falling from your eyes.
“I know. I can smell it on you,” he confesses, leaning back in to sniff under your jawline. He stoops to pick you up and brings you to the bed, lying his body on top of yours. He doesn’t waste time in rucking your dress up and pressing his clothed sex against your own. “Can you feel how much I want you?”
His voice, so delicate as he speaks to you, sounds like your Geralt. But those eyes, the way he takes without asking, and his smell only serve to repel you. It feels like your partner has been swapped out for a harsher, more unkind version of who he used to be.
His hand reaches between the two of you and rips away your undergarments before unbuttoning his pants so his thick and ready length can fall free. As soon as his shaft is uninhibited from its confines, he is pushing and prodding at your entrance.
Without preparation or care, he enters you swiftly. You aren’t given a second to adjust to his girth before he withdraws his cock and forces himself back inside you. By the third thrust, you are crying and begging him to stop. Your hands are balled into fists as you pound on his chest, his shoulders, anywhere you can land a blow.
He only laughs at your feeble attempts to thwart his actions. He also teases you when your body eventually betrays you.
“Look at you, being torn apart from the inside out, and your sloppy little cunt can’t get enough of it. Always so soft and warm for me. Stop fighting and take it, little one,” he soothes. His warm, rich voice invades your ears, and you cease efforts to push him away from you.
Once he has you malleable and compliant, he focuses on chasing his release. Unconcerned with your pleasure, he fists one hand in the sheets of your bed while the other tangles in your hair to expose your neck. Biting and sucking at your skin until blood is brought to the surface, he takes pride in marking you.
Soon, your neck and chest are littered with bite marks and bruises. You can feel every welt as he takes his time poking them as he drives into you over and over. His first orgasm is so intense that he lets out a feral growl, slowing down for a bit before it’s evident that he isn’t done in the slightest.
Realizing your fate, you begin to hyperventilate. Your chest is heaving as you inhale and exhale shallowly; you feel as though your heart could beat out of your chest. But only momentarily as Geralt leans down to speak into your ear.
“You’ve never looked lovelier than you do tonight. I can smell your fear; I can taste your panic. Just have to hold out a little longer for me, my sweet,” he sighs, nosing at your neck.
By now, you can feel nothing but pain from the bites, the scratches, and his relentless pounding into your battered and bruised heat. The stuttering of his hips is a gift, alerting you to his impending climax. You’d already given up on experiencing your peak.
“So close. I can feel it coming, little one,” he whispers, his voice strained and gruff as he forces his eyes shut. He thrusts into you one last time, his hips flush with yours as his cock paints your insides. Once he stops spasming, he lets out a heavy breath and opens his eyes.
You watch as he comes back to himself, the black veins disappearing from his face and his eyes returning to their golden hue. Frozen where you are, you observe the realization on Geralt’s face as he looks down at your marred skin and wet eyes.
As he relaxes just enough to pull away from your body, he quickly adjusts himself back into his pants and settles down onto his knees. He’s unsure of what to say; what can he say that would make this situation any easier? His eyes are drawn to where his semen drips from you.
“Daddy? Are you back?” you ask, your hands pushing your dress down over yourself as you sit up.
The sound of your tiny voice washes over him like a cold shower. He finally looks back at you, and a single tear falls from his left eye. As if a switch were flipped, Geralt appears smaller than before. He shrinks into himself, hunching his shoulders.
“I did this to you?” he guesses, nodding to the angry marks on your skin.
“Geralt, I think you were poisoned. What’s the last thing you remember?” you question, raising your hands to show him you mean no harm.
“The wyvern nest. There were druids; they surrounded me. I felt pain in my neck and then smelled flowers before everything went black. Next thing I know, I’m in bed with you,” he replies.
“You weren’t yourself, Geralt. This wasn’t you,” you insist, feeling the urge to comfort him.
“Poisoned or possessed, I am the reason you’re hurt right now. I could have killed you if I hadn’t come back to myself,” he frets, holding up a hand when you try to move closer to him.
“I’ve already forgiven you, if only you would forgive yourself,” you plead, trying to hide your distress.
“You should have a bath. Let me draw it for you,” he suggests, leaving you on the bed before you can say anything in response.
After he fills the wooden bath with enough water, he uses Igni to warm the water to your liking. He helps you into the water, washing your body and hair when you ask him to stay with you. When you are done, he helps dry your skin. You don’t exchange many words, and neither of you knows how to start a conversation.
After you are dressed in a nightgown, you climb into bed and pull Geralt in behind you. He reluctantly lays next to you, afraid that he will hurt you again somehow. Turning onto your side, you face away from him. You sniff, holding back tears and the lump in your throat.
Before you could clear your throat, Geralt was pulling you into his chest. His strong arms wrap around you, and he inhales your scent. While he can still smell the faint echo of fear on you, the most prevalent fragrance is overwhelming love.
You were pushing down your fear with all your might and thinking only of good moments of Geralt. Images of a smile pulling at his lips, your hands in his, and a stolen kiss cloud your vision.
You snuggle into his embrace, his body heat keeping you warm. He peppers kisses over your hickeys on your neck, lulling you to sleep. But just before you can give in to the draw of slumber, you hear his voice in your ear.
“I wouldn’t get too comfortable,” he whispers, laughing lowly. “You’re mine, little one. And I won’t let you escape.” His hand goes to your mouth, and you know your night is far from over.
A/N: I really enjoyed writing this story. It took so long to write, but I am happy with what I have created here. Also, I feel like there are very few dark!Geralt or Daddy!Geralt stories out there. Is it because we don’t like these or it’s just too taboo? Let me know, cuz I could write more dark versions of this man.
#henry cavill#henry cavill characters#henry cavill fanfic#henry cavill fanfiction#geralt of rivia#geralt of rivia x reader#geralt of rivia x you#the witcher#ellethespaceunicorn fanfic#you're mine#x reader#x female reader#sweet treats event 2024
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read between the lines
Fox x F!Reader
word count: 8.1k
description: the library is your favourite place to escape to when the galaxy gets too loud, and it just so happens to be the same for a certain marshal commander
warnings: sfw, fox being anxious & being frustrated about it, nervous (kinda non-sensical) ramblings from fox's pov incl. self-deprecating comments (basically projecting my anxiety onto him oops), but it ends cute and nerdy :)
a/n: really wanted to write a fox fic after seeing this post by @welcometo79s about fox being an introvert - I thought the idea was super interesting so here we have an anxious lil fox :) I could yap so much more but my notes are always too long so I'm gonna shut up
Going to the library was one of your favourite pastimes. Especially on a planet like Coruscant, which never seemed to slow down.
You had discovered this little corner of the planet years ago, and you spent more time here than you cared to admit. There were a number of libraries of Coruscant, but none of them as quiet and authentic as this one. You had truly struck gold in finding it, entirely by accident.
The feel of a real book, the feel of flimsi between your fingers, was an experience you relished in this technological day and age. You didn't have anything against technology, it was an integral part of your life and job after all, but holding something so precious and unique in your hands was something else entirely.
This particular library was not very large, though boasted an impressive catalogue of titles nonetheless. You loved curling up by the heater on cold evenings, in one specific cosy red armchair. It was a little more hidden, a reading nook of sorts, and it made the experience feel all the more special. Just you and a book, the outside world, the war, slipping from your mind easily.
In the last few weeks, there was a new regular that had started coming. At first, you were alarmed, his bright red armour alerting you to the fact that he belonged to the Coruscant Guard, but when he picked up a book and settled himself in a window seat, you had relaxed.
You had to admit, you found yourself watching him quite a lot. After a number of times seeing him, you had figured out exactly who he was. It was entirely surprising to you that the Commander of the Coruscant Guard frequented such a place, though he always walked in as if it was exactly where he should be, so you came to respect that.
Going to the library had become part of your daily routine, spending your evenings there as it was much quieter than spending them in your apartment. The people you lived with were particularly loud, not to mention the noise of the city outside the window. However, in the weeks that Commander Fox had begun to do the same thing, you found your reason for going shifting.
You couldn't help but be intrigued by him. You were always too far away to see what he was reading, and he never took his helmet off. You wondered how he could read through it, but you presumed that if it had been made for battle then a book probably wouldn't be a problem.
One day, as he was leaving, you noticed him acting a little odd. He peered around to see if anyone was looking his way, not noticing you at all, and then he pocketed a stylus that the person who sat there before him had left. You smirked, watching him leave the library with a little extra hurriedness to his steps. After that, you decided that you needed to know what it was he was reading all this time, your intrigue finally becoming strong enough.
When you entered the library the next day, he was already sat in his regular seat, one leg stretched out on the seat and the other foot planted on the ground. He held the book in one hand, the other absentmindedly playing with the stylus that he had stolen the previous day. You found the book you had been reading, and made your way towards his position, your stomach turning just a little.
The window bay that he sat in was reasonably large, with a wooden frame and covered with pillows. You made your way to the opposite side from him and took your seat. His head raised from his book quickly in surprise, and you offered him a smile, before opening up your book and finding where you had left it.
Unbeknownst to you, and contrary to your own thoughts, Fox had noticed you. It was hard not to; you were here everyday, and he found you to be distracting, to say the least. He had often watched you sneaking glances at him, the secrecy afforded by his helmet allowing his cheeks to heat up without detection. It was the reason he rarely took his helmet off really, he didn't want anybody to he able to read him, he had a hard enough time conveying his thoughts through words without people watching him try to do it.
Fox had always been somewhat of an introvert, a stark contrast to his brothers. He didn't know how he had ended up not sharing in his brothers’ natural outgoing demeanour, but it was something that affected him constantly. He managed to have a commanding presence and confidence in his work through his rigorous training on Kamino, and he now had enough experience in his role that it felt safe, natural. Though at the end of a long day, when his brothers went out to 79s, he much preferred to be by himself. He craved so deeply to have his own space, and finding this library recently had afforded him some semblance of that.
Fox drew his knee up towards his chest so that he wasn't invading any of your personal space, despite the feeling that that was exactly what you had just done to him. He watched you from behind his visor, intrigued and confused. You didn't look up from your book once, leafing through the pages gradually as you took in the information on them. You were reading something non-fiction, something to do with theories about wild space and beyond. Somehow that surprised Fox - he didn't know what he expected you to be reading but it wasn't that. After his heart had stopped racing at the thought of having to talk to someone, he let his eyes drift back to his own book.
For the entirety of the evening, you didn't talk to Fox, nor did you so much as look at him. He found it to be equally relieving and maddening. He was glad that you both seemed to just be enjoying each other's presence without the need for conversation, but he couldn't understand why you had joined him.
He knew his armour made him stand out among the civilians, and usually people seemed to be scared of him because of it, as if he would arrest them for looking at him the wrong way. It was a blessing and a curse. People left him alone, but he stood out nonetheless. He got what he wanted, but was constantly being perceived in ways he didn't know as he did.
He wondered what your angle was.
When he had seen you watching him, he had initially thought it was for the same reason: that you were scared of him. However, he soon realised that you looked at him with no contempt, no ill-will, and now that you had come and sat yourself within his presence, he was even more interested to know what was going on in your head.
After a number of hours - he had lost count how many - he noticed you rising from your seat. You placed down the cushion that you had set in your lap as you read, and cast a glance over to him. With how he had rested his book in his lap and looked up, it was obvious he was looking at you, and you gave him another sweet smile.
He was overtaken by the need to speak with you. Your kind gestures seemed to be an obvious response to the way he was acting, and that you were respecting the fact that he didn't want to talk. Unfortunately, before he could work up the courage, you had gone back over to the bookshelf and put the book back in its place, leaving shortly thereafter.
Fox sighed audibly, and it came out as a small hiss through the filter of his helmet. Despite liking his own space, he had enjoyed having someone else with him, just sitting in silence while you both focused on your own things. He didn't have that kind of interaction with any of his brothers, they were often far too excitable for him.
He loved his brothers dearly, they meant a lot to him, but being around them all of the time tired him out, and sometimes it was nice to get away from them. He found himself thinking that perhaps he didn't always have to do it by himself. Perhaps it was possible to spend time with someone who didn't drain his energy. Someone like you.
When Fox arrived at the library the next day, you were already there, sat in your regular seat. He watched you for a moment, the corners of your lips lifting as you read something from your book. You looked so kind, so approachable. He didn’t feel as though you were trying to draw him in in any particular way, at least not in a way that would ordinarily have him feeling flustered. It didn't seem that you sought anything that would draw him out of his comfort zone at all. With that in mind, he just truly felt like indulging in your simple company once more, and so he did.
He approached the corner of the library where you were slightly hidden away, and he settled himself in the armchair opposite you. You looked up to watch him do so, and smiled warmly when his visor turned towards you. The crinkles at the edges of your eyes gave away how pleased you were that he had decided to join you, and he relaxed a little, his body moulding into the chair as he opened up his book.
As you had the previous day, you both engrossed yourselves in your books. The worries of today and tomorrow washed away and you just soaked up the words on the page. You were curled up in your chair, a cushion held to your stomach as you often did, whereas Fox had his legs outstretched, one over the other, his hand tucked under his arm as the other held his book. You were both just comfortable.
As the day wound to a close, you flicked your eyes to the clock, and thought that you best be getting home.
Fox watched you raise from your seat, placing the cushion back onto it neatly. His stomach lurched a little, once again feeling the urge to speak to you. He felt exceedingly stupid as he couldn't bring himself to do it, and he was floundering for something, anything to say.
“Wait!” He heard himself say, a little louder than he would've liked, especially for in a library. You turned back to him, your eyes finding his visor as you waited for him to continue.
Fox's brain drew a blank. He couldn't think let alone speak right now. However, you just gave him a patient smile, not expecting anything. It calmed his mind enough to ask a simple question.
“What's your name?”
Your smile grew a little before you replied, you voice even more kindly than he could have imagined - soft, yet assured. He couldn't help but let the corner of his mouth raise a little under his helmet. After a moment, he realised that you weren't asking his name, and his smile dropped, slightly panicking for something to say again. He would've given anything to be as outgoing as his brothers at this very moment, or any subsequent one.
“Well” You cleared your throat as he just looked up at you, and a small smirk wound its way onto your face. “I suppose I'll see you around, Commander Fox” You gave him a little mock salute as you turned away.
Fox could feel his cheeks burning, his mind now in overdrive. You knew who he was the whole time? Somehow he felt especially embarrassed more than anything, and slumped back into his chair with a huff. What was he supposed to say to you now? How much did you know about him? If you knew who he was, why did you sit with him? And why didn't you say anything?
Endless questions swirled around in his head, stopping him from enjoying his book for the rest of the evening. Even as he tried to sleep in his bunk, all he could do was stare up at the ceiling, his cheeks still burning as he thought of how stupid he must've sounded asking your name and sitting by you, when you knew exactly who he was.
He desperately wanted to know what you thought of him. Surely if you knew his name then you'd know other things about him? But what did you know? Had you heard that he was somewhat removed or lonely and thought he could use a friend? Because that would be positively mortifying.
Fox ran a hand over his face. He shouldn't be thinking like this. For all that he avoided them, he cared far too much what people thought of him. He wished he could stop doing that.
Fox had thought about not going to the library the next day, but after a long talk with himself in the mirror, he decided that it didn't matter what you thought of him, and he wasn't going to let it ruin what he had come to know as his little corner of the galaxy.
He was already there when you arrived, as you had come a bit later than usual. That had only struck Fox with an unpleasant feeling in his gut, but he wasn't going to let on.
You slowly approached his window seat with your book tucked in your hands. His head didn’t raise until you spoke.
“Is it alright if I sit with you?”
Fox's head snapped up at the sound of your voice, his eyes a little wide behind his visor. He elected not to speak, and instead nodded his head and gestured vaguely to the other side of the window.
Unlike the last couple of days, Fox was positively unfocused on his book. It was maddening, all he wanted to do was relax, especially after his sleepless night and the stack of flimsiwork that had awaited him on his desk this morning. He couldn't be so lucky, you had to go and distract him. Of course it wasn't your fault, and Fox knew that, he was just annoyed that he couldn't shut his mind off for once second. Ever.
After around 45 minutes had passed, and Fox had finally settled into reading his book, he noticed you watching him, and he internally groaned. He had just started relaxing.
He raised his head to let you know he saw you looking at him, and you smiled warmly before speaking.
“Can I ask you a question?”
That made him nervous, the slight anticipation making his head nod quickly to release it.
“Is your helmet comfortable?” You asked, resting your book in your lap.
Whatever he thought you were going to ask, it wasn't that.
“Uh… yeah, it's fine” He replied awkwardly.
“Cool” You nodded, seemingly satisfied with the answer, and opened your book back up.
Fox just stared at you. Was there not any other reason for you asking that? Did you actually just want to know if his helmet was comfortable or not? Why couldn't he stop questioning your motivation for doing anything?
“How do you know my name?” He asked, getting straight to the point.
Your expression was sheepish when you looked back up at him again, and you fumbled slightly with your book, losing your page. You let out a small huff at that, “I don't know, I think everyone kind of knows who you are”
That was probably the worst reason you could have given. Fox cringed, his body folding in on itself fractionally even though he tried to stay rigid and strong.
He looked back down to his book and tried to read, but now it just felt like the awkward silence was swallowing him whole. He couldn't focus on the page, his mind swirling with various words that he tried to string together to reply to what you had said.
After a few minutes of that, Fox was fed up. He practically slammed his book closed and strutted over to the desk to return it, not looking back as he left.
The next night, you were still put out by the Commanders actions. You went to the library anyway, convinced that he probably wouldn't be going, that you had well and truly scared him off. You didn't know exactly why, or rather how, you had done it, but you could tell he'd been frustrated by it. You hadn't hardly said anything to him, but you supposed that you had managed to offend him in those few short words.
Thankfully, it soon slipped from your mind as you curled your legs into your chest and dove into the new book you had picked up today.
If Fox had been embarrassed by you knowing who he was, he was positively beside himself with mortification now. He had blocked it out the entire day, holing up in his ‘office’ and burying himself in his flimsiwork so he couldn't possibly let another thought into his head.
As it got to the end of the day, Fox couldn't stop watching the clock. Time was creeping along at a painfully slow pace, and that was as he was already staying late. It felt like torture, working late just to stop himself thinking. His brain was at maximum capacity, and all he wanted to do was rest.
“Commander” A voice called out, and Fox's head lifted slowly to see Thorn standing in front of his desk, “Maker, you look rough”
Fox scowled, “I thought I told you to knock”
“I vaguely remember you saying that…” Thorn said, a mocking grin growing with each word. “You do know this isn’t a door right?” He said, knocking on the wall that only vaguely separated Fox’s desk from the others.
Fox just rolled his eyes, “What do you want?”
“We're clocking out now, you fancy coming to 79s?” Thorn asked hopefully.
“You already know the answer” Fox looked down at his flimsiwork again.
Thorn huffed, “Come on vod, just this once?”
“I've got work to do” Fox replied.
“That's what you always say”
Fox gave Thorn a tired look, “Another time”
“You always say that as well” Thorn remarked.
Fox sighed aggressively, “Look, I'm really not in the mood for this tonight”
“Alright, alright” Thorn put his hands up in surrender, “I'll get you next time”
“I doubt it” Fox mumbled under his breath as his brother left.
He picked up his stylus. It was the one he had stolen from the library, or more accurately, whoever had left it at the library. He let a sigh escape him. It was filled with mixed emotions, positive memories of the library tinged by his own stupidity.
He twirled the stylus in his hand, manoeuvring it through his fingers. Maybe it wouldn't be the end of the world to go to the library, to seek the respite he so desperately desired. If you were there, he could just ignore you, it couldn't be that hard.
Once that thought had entered his mind and he'd let it grow for just a second, he rose to his feet, grabbing his helmet from the edge of his desk. When he stepped out of his corner, the chattering voices he could hear stopped, and the two remaining clones in the office looked towards him.
“Ah, Commander, you decided to join us after all” Thorn grinned.
“Uh, no. I’m going out” Fox replied, continuing to walk towards the door.
“Where to?” Stone asked, pushing himself from his desk.
“Just- out” Fox replied, much more rigidly than he would've liked. It sounded extremely suspicious coming out.
“Out? Like on a date?” Thorn asked.
“No!” Fox barked back, almost stopping in his place.
“Oh my god, you are” Stone’s expression turned to a broad grin as he dashed towards the door, stopping his brother from leaving.
“I'm not” Fox insisted, a sharp glare directed at Stone.
“You're blushing” He pointed out, which only intensified Fox’s glare. Stone pushed his brother's shoulder lovingly, “Aw vod, I'm so happy for you”
Fox rolled his eyes, pushing past his brother and grumbling to himself as he could hear the two of them laughing at his expense. He loved his brothers, but they really got on his last nerve sometimes.
When he got to the library, it was much later than he usually arrived, which the librarian commented on as he checked out his book. He just gave her a polite nod, not really pleased at his patterns being recognised.
He had planned to just ignore you, but when he saw you sitting in your usual seat, curled up and peaceful, reading your book as if you were the only two things in the galaxy, he couldn't help but feel drawn to you once more. He walked over to you in a few long strides, and cleared his throat. Your head shot up, eyes a little wide.
“Commander” You said, a little unsurely as it wasn't entirely clear if he wasn't upset with you or not. You couldn't tell from under the helmet.
“Please don't call me that” He replied in a somewhat affronted tone, though he must have seen how taken aback you were because he instantly backtracked, “I mean- No, just- Fox is fine, please”
“Okay then” You smiled, “Hi Fox”
Fox returned the smile, even though you couldn’t see it, “May I join you?”
You nodded, gesturing to the armchair opposite you. Fox sat down, leaning forward and clearly not finished speaking.
“I am… sorry, for leaving abruptly yesterday”
You couldn't stop your face from twitching with amusement, “You don't have to be sorry”
“Right… yeah” His hand snaked to the back of his neck on instinct as he spoke awkwardly.
“I do hope I didn't offend you though” You added, drawing your eyebrows together.
“Offend me?” Fox seemed genuinely confused.
“About… knowing who you are” You jogged his memory.
“Oh, no” Fox shook his head lightly. It had sent him spiralling, but you didn't need to know that.
“Good” You smiled sweetly and flicked your eyes back down to your book.
Fox watched you for a moment longer then opened his book, finding his place and continuing on.
What he liked the most about you, not that he knew much else, was that you seemed content just being in each other's space, and not needing to talk to fill the time. Talking wasn't his strong suit, it stressed him out at the best of times, even when he pretended it didn't. Particularly then, in fact. Somehow, without even communicating with each other verbally, this was the most meaningful connection he had shared with someone new in a long time. He didn't know that you thought that way too, but somehow he felt that you did.
Not too long later, the librarian came to tell you both that the library would be closing soon. Fox nodded and stood from his seat, but paused in going to hand his book back in when he realised you weren't moving. You hadn't even looked up from your book.
“Aren't you coming?” He questioned, his voice clearly showing his confusion.
You looked up to him, your lips curling into a smile, “I'm not quite done here yet”
Fox frowned, then sat back down opposite you, his knees spread and elbows leant against them, a stance he often took when questioning someone.
“You'll be chucked out by the librarian” He stated.
You shook your head gently, “I can be sneaky”
“Then you'll be locked in” He tried to find reason in whatever idea you had up your sleeve.
“Eh” You shrugged, “I can pick the lock”
Fox tilted his head. Even though you couldn't see the confusion on his face, you still found the action a little cute.
“You realise I could have you arrested for that”
Fox could see your eyes flash with a small amount of alarm as you remembered exactly who was sitting in front of you, but it was gone as soon as it came, and instead you narrowed them a little.
“Well, that would be a little pointless” You said as if it were obvious.
Fox’s eyebrows raised instinctively, “And why is that?”
“Because you'd have to arrest yourself too” You stated, your eyes sparkling with mischief and a grin overtaking your face.
“Wha-”
Before he could even finish the word, you had jumped up and grabbed his arm, dragging him towards the rows of bookshelves and pulling him in between two of them.
He wanted to protest, but the words were stuck in his throat. He was once again thankful for the shield that was his helmet, because he knew that his cheeks must have been bright red with the way you were looking up at him. Your face bore the widest grin, your eyes crinkled at your own mischief, and he was hopeless to do anything about it now.
Fox’s head was telling him to leave, that breaking the law, something that he dedicated his life to upholding, was not a good idea. Though between your excitement and the secret thrill it was giving him, his heart was aching to stay. So he did.
He watched you as you glanced around and listened out for the librarian. Somehow the only thing in his mind was that if he rocked forwards onto the balls of his feet that he'd probably be touching you, or at least feel the heat of your body. The thought was disturbed when the lights cut out and the librarian could be heard walking nearby. You grabbed his arm again, tugging him down the shelves to hide against the other end.
You were grinning, resting your temple against the end of the shelves and looking up at him.
“Having fun?”
Fox just hummed in reply as he copied your posture, not giving much away. You rolled your eyes, but your smile remained, and you kept listening out for the librarian. Soon enough, the clunk of the outdated technology of lock and key slotting together rang out in the darkness of the library, and you stood up straight, walking back over to your regular spot.
By the time Fox caught up with you, you had turned on a nearby lamp and were already sat back in the chair with your book open. He just sat opposite you, watching you through his visor.
The library was usually quiet, but now it was dead silent, and Fox couldn't help but relish in that fact. Even the sounds of the city couldn't be heard in here. It was an entirely peaceful moment, something he rarely got the opportunity to indulge in.
Fox peered around the library, making sure nobody else was lingering after closing, and then hooked his thumbs under the base of his helmet, pulling it off with a quiet hiss. The noise made your head raise, seeming loud in the quiet environment.
It was hard not to stare. You knew more or less what he looked like, he was a clone after all, but nothing could have prepared you for actually seeing him. His dark curls, streaked by silver, his eyes a dark brown and his battle worn skin. He was gorgeous, so rugged yet so stately, and so unique in his appearance as compared to the brothers of his that you had met.
He noticed you examining his face and immediately went to put his helmet on.
“No!” You called out, a little more desperately than you hoped for. Fox gave you a weary and puzzled look, and you could have melted right there. It was strange to see the emotion on his face when he had always concealed it from you.
“Sorry” You coughed out, a little flustered, “I didn't mean to stare”
Despite your words, you continued to observe him, inspecting his face. Every mark, every scar, every feature drawing you in.
Fox tilted his head to the side a fraction, a small crease forming in his brow, “You're still staring”
“Right, sorry” You looked down to your book and scanned your eyes across the page, trying to find where you had been when you got distracted by the sheer beauty of the man before you. It certainly wasn't helpful to think of it in those terms when you were trying not to look at him.
Fox let one side of his mouth quirk up at your reaction to him. He hadn't really expected you to care all that much, but your darkened cheeks were telling him that perhaps you did. He spoke your name, and the sound of his voice unfiltered by his helmet sent a shiver running up your spine.
“Hm?” You replied, glancing up.
“How often do you stay after closing?”
“Oh, not that often” You shrugged a shoulder.
“Why tonight?” He pressed.
You hesitated, “Well, you didn't come until late, and… I feel like that was kinda my fault”
Fox couldn't help the way his stomach flipped, even if he didn't know exactly why it had. He placed his book down on the table next to him.
“It's not your fault” He asserted, “I had a lot of work to do”
It wasn't exactly a lie, but he wasn't going to tell you that he had been trying to banish you from his head all day.
“But thank you. It's not often that I get to-” He gestured his hand vaguely around the library, “Experience the quiet like this”
“No problem” You smiled, setting your book down as well. It seemed you both were now more interested in each other's company than that of the books you had chosen.
Fox bit the inside of his cheek, a little nervous under your undivided attention. The feeling in his stomach was akin to his usually anxiety around socialising, but it felt different, not entirely unpleasant.
“Can I ask you something?”
“Sure” You replied, “I'm an open book”
Fox let out a breathy chuckle, the amusement dancing in your eyes letting him know that your pun wasn't accidental.
“What do you do?”
“Like… for work?” You asked.
“Yeah, I guess” Fox shrugged. He didn’t really mind what you talked about, he just wanted to know more about you.
“Um” You looked away, flexing your hands nervously, “Nothing. I mean- you know, nothing interesting… or important”
Fox hummed, giving you a sceptical look, “Something tells me breaking into libraries in the middle of the night isn’t the only illegal thing you do”
“Okay, first of all - I don’t break in, I only break out-”
“Not much better really” Fox shrugged, trying to keep the smirk from his lips unsuccessfully.
”Sure, maybe not” You smirked, “But it’s hardly malicious. It’s nothing like, say… Stealing someone’s private property, such as a stylus or something like that…”
A blush dusted Fox’s cheeks immediately, now knowing you had indeed caught him doing exactly that. He cleared his throat, looking away and trying to find a way to explain himself.
“Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone” You teased, resting your hand on his knee for a second to draw his attention back to you, “Besides, who would I tell? We’ve already established that you’re not going to arrest yourself”
Fox dragged his gaze back to you, the gentle touch only making his cheeks burn hotter. He gave you a weary sort of look, but the edge of his lips curled upwards nonetheless.
“Why did you steal it?” You then asked, devoid of any of the teasing tone you had previously employed.
“Uh” Fox ran a hand through his hair, “Well… I don’t really have anything that’s… Mine”
You gave him a puzzled look, “How do you mean?”
Fox cleared his throat, “I mean… I don’t really have possessions, I share all of my time and my space with my brothers. I don’t have a place that is mine, to put anything that might be mine”
He paused for a moment, conscious that he may be oversharing, but your even gaze, the way you were sitting forward and listening attentively told him that perhaps you didn’t mind. That you were interested in what he was saying.
“I have an office, sort of, but not really. It’s just a tiny area in the corner of the Guard’s office, so it’s a little closed off, and it barely even fits my desk, but- anyway. I just take what I can get I suppose” He wrapped up his rambling.
“I can understand that”
“You can?” He asked.
You nodded, “Yeah, I’ve… never had a space to myself either really”
“You don’t have an apartment or something?” He tilted his head to the side.
“Not to myself. I live with three other people, and they’re very… loud. That’s why I come here”
“Yeah, same here I suppose” Fox smiled, then his face fell a little, “Hold on- We didn’t get to the bottom of what you do for work”
You chuckled a little nervously, “I’m a mechanic”
Fox gave you a dubious look, “That doesn’t sound illegal”
“It’s not” You sighed, “It’s just… my boss is a little dodgy”
Fox took a moment to shift in his seat, trying to appear casual, “What kind of dodgy? Who… is it?”
You just smirked at him, “You’re not getting it out of me that easily I’m afraid, Commander”
Fox wanted to chuckle, but he was also suddenly struck by the fact that he had no reason to believe you had any moral integrity or that you actually were any sort of good person.
“You don’t think they should be brought to justice?” He spoke with trepidation.
You smiled a little, “Yeah, I guess I do, but then I would be out of a job”
“You could get another one” Fox reasoned.
“It’s not that simple” You stated, “I don’t live with three people for the fun of it after all”
Fox was confused, you could see that much woven into the frown he gave you.
“I can’t afford anything else” You completed the thought, trying to sound as casual as possible.
“Oh, right” Fox replied.
Fox didn’t really know what to say. He hadn’t faced that kind of issue before in his own life, so he couldn’t say he fully understood. He wasn't shy of people turning to crime because of money, their were often few other reasons, though it certainly gave a new perspective to the way he looked at his role of what had turned into a short jump from policeman.
“Anyway” You said more cheerily, “It isn't such a bad job, I do get to spend my evenings here”
Fox smiled at that, “How long have you been coming here?”
“A few years” You replied.
It wasn't long before you were talking animatedly, sharing little details of your life with Fox. He could feel himself coming out of his shell the more you talked, enamoured by the way you spoke and the things you had to say. He found himself agreeing with many of the observations you made, even if he didn't say so. It was also hard to ignore how drawn to you he now felt, in a way he hadn't experienced with many others, possibly anyone. He told you details about himself too, a little bit about his brothers, about a book that he had heard of but couldn’t find, about what he does in the Coruscant Guard.
You were explaining a passage of your favourite book, and the way the light was hitting you face was making it hard for Fox to concentrate on your words fully.
“Do you think that was the right thing for them to do?” He asked, a crease in his brow to show his engagement.
“Well, no. Probably not, but that's what the book is questioning” You explained, then noted Fox's slightly dazed expression, “Maybe they should take a page out of your book and just start stealing” You raised your eyebrows a little, and Fox laughed defeatedly, both as his own habits and your terrible library humour.
“I can't believe you saw me do that and still came and sat with me” He joked, the outright sarcasm feeling unfamiliar on his tongue.
“Oh no, that was what made me do it” You admitted a little theatrically.
“Really?” He cocked his head to the side, giving you a genuine disbelieving look.
“Yeah, it interested me. I wanted to know what the Commander of the Coruscant Guard was doing stealing from a library” You chuckled, “It was just… not what I expected, I guess”
“What did you expect?” He asked with a teasing edge, “The armour does tend to give a certain impression”
“Oh no, I would never judge a book by its cover” You put your hand to your chest in mock offense, a smile still pulling at your lips.
He rolled his eyes, “Do you always have such terrible humour?”
“I think it's funny” You shrugged, covering your mouth as a yawn escaped it. You blinked a few times, and it was only then that you realised it was most likely very late. Checking your watch, you saw that it was past midnight and you sat forward in your chair, “I should be getting home really”
Fox was tired as well, but he wasn't ready to say goodbye just yet. Though, he didn't want to keep you if you were tired, and he wasn't exactly fully awake himself.
“Can I escort you back?” He suggested.
You smiled as you stood up, “Sure, that'd be nice”
Fox followed suit, grabbing his helmet, and letting you lead the way to the door, both of you returning your books to the shelf on the way.
“My very own Coruscant Guard escort, lucky me” You muttered, eyelids heavy with sleep as you looked up at him with a smirk.
Fox’s lips formed a similar expression. He rolled his eyes, though it wasn’t as spiteful as when he had directed it at his brother earlier on in the night. He had completely forgotten about the aspect of having to pick the lock, so was a little surprised when you then produced a small tool from your pocket and knelt down, slotting it into the keyhole.
“Should I be worried that you carry around a lock pick?” He asked, placing his helmet over his head.
You let out a breathy chuckle, “I only use it for this. Besides, it's just a regular tool, not specifically a lock pick”
The door cracked open, and you pulled the tool out, placing it back in your pocket.
It was only a few blocks to your home, and on the way you explained to Fox how you had first found the library on an evening stroll shortly after moving into your current apartment, trying to get away from your loud roommates.
You could already hear them as you approached now, music turned up loud and some form of excited squealing spilling from the windows. You cracked open the door, and winced as the noise became ten times louder. You gave Fox a sheepish expression and he chuckled a little.
“I can see why you go to the library” He noted.
“Yeah” You sighed, rubbing your neck, “They’re not so bad really, just…”
Fox nodded in understanding.
You both just stayed watching each other for a moment, neither one of you wanting to be the first to say goodbye. You stared into Fox's visor, hoping to find his eyes behind it, and by some miracle, he understood that, and took it off in one smooth motion.
You smiled up at him as his eyes emerged from beneath the mask, and his heart instinctively skipped a beat. With you looking up at him like that, and nothing to hide his own emotions, he suddenly felt exposed. His stomach erupted into what felt like his usual anxiety-ridden state, but for once, it was more exhilarating than it was scary.
“I'm glad I made you stay behind tonight” You admitted, little care for how odd the words sounded.
Fox chuckled slightly, “Yeah, me too”
There was another moment of silence, and now Fox read it as awkwardness, so he immediately began backing away.
“I- Um, I'll see you around?” He offered.
Your smile faltered for half a second before you replied, “Yeah, see you around”
Fox watched you get inside safely, and then turned on his heel to head back to his quarters.
The whole way back, and well into the night, Fox couldn't get you out of his head. Though, this time he didn't mind.
The following morning, Fox was once again buried in flimsiwork, already on his third caf and ready to pull his hair out.
“Commander” Fox heard the unmistakable voice from the ‘door’ of his office, and he could have easily groaned in frustration.
“I thought I told you to knock” He grumbled, not bothering to look up from his flimsiwork.
“Perhaps you did” Thorn shrugged, a grin evident in his voice, “But you have a visitor”
Fox's head snapped up at that.
“A visitor?”
“Mhm” Thorn confirmed in a somewhat teasing manner, “No idea how she got past security downstairs but, there's a woman asking to see you”
Fox frowned a little, but stood from his desk, walking over to look around the corner. He saw you leaning on Thorn's desk, looking around the office and a book clutched between your hands. You were in a mechanic’s jumpsuit, folded down to the waist with leather gloves tucked into the belt, and seemingly not caring one bit how your appearance made you stand out in the office.
He called your name, and your head turned towards him, along with everyone else in the office that had already been staring at the you, the person who didn't belong. Your eyes lit up a little as you saw him, and you pushed yourself from the desk, striding over to him and Thorn.
“What are you doing here?” He asked softly, leading you into his corner of the office.
“I wanted to g-”
“Actually, hold on one moment” Fox interrupted you, then walked back out into the office to find Thorn and Stone waiting just outside with their ears turned to the wall. Fox rolled his eyes and cleared his throat, making them jump away.
“Could I maybe have some privacy?” He gave them a pointed look.
Both of them mumbled a ‘yes sir’ as they slunk away, brandishing matching smirks. Fox huffed, before returning to you.
“Sorry about that” He ran a hand through his hair, “Are you alright? What are you doing here?”
“I'm fine” You smiled, “I came to give you this”
You held up the book in your hands, offering it to him. Fox eyed it suspiciously, his gaze flicking between you and the book.
“Did you steal this from the library?”
You laughed gratuitously, “No. I thought we established that was your thing”
“But…” Fox frowned, “Did you buy it then? You really shouldn’t have spent your money-”
“I didn’t buy it, it’s mine” You cut him off, “Well, it was mine, it’s yours now”
You tried to hand it to him but Fox just pushed it back towards you, taking a step forward, “I couldn’t possibly take your property”
“I want you to have it” You grabbed his hand and forced him to take it, looking up into his eyes intently.
Fox’s heart stuttered at your intense gaze, aware of how your hand still rested over his as you awaited his reply. He looked down at the book, and turned it over to read the spine. His eyes quickly found yours again, and a grin had bloomed on your face.
“This is it” He breathed out, “The book I was looking for”
“It is” You nodded, finally taking your hand away from his.
“Wh- How- I didn’t even know what it was called, how did you…?”
“I guess I can read between the lines” You shrugged, your grin widening, and Fox laughed, the edges of his eyes crinkling. “I’ve read it a few times” You admitted, then flipped the book open, revealing annotations in the margins, “I went through and pointed out my favourite parts, wrote a bit about why and kinda analysed it a little”
“You wrote these notes for me?” He questioned, his voice sounding unusually small as his brows pinched together.
“Yeah” You gave him a warm smile, “That way, it’s like… personalised for you”
Fox was at a loss for words. You had really listened to him yesterday, and heard how his lack of personal effects weighed on his mind, and now you were giving him something of yours, and you had made it personal to him. His chest spread with warmth, his shoulders relaxing in a small contented sigh.
He let the book fall to his side, and he leaned forwards onto the balls of his feet, so his chest was almost against yours. He brought his hand up and gently brushed your hair away from your forehead, his hand lingering against your cheekbone. Your eyes shone up at him, and a genuine smile crossed his face.
“I'm glad I met you” Fox murmured, his voice low so that only you could hear.
“I know you are” You grinned.
Fox rolled his eyes, “Let me guess, because you can read me so well”
You chuckled, your head tipping to the side in thought, “I hadn’t thought of that one actually. Looks like you’re picking up my novel sense of humour though”
Fox scoffed a laugh, “You’re terrible”
“Maybe” You shrugged, “But I like to think that maybe you don't mind”
Fox hummed, “Perhaps not”
You grinned up at him for a moment, and then stepped back, “I should be getting back really, I'm not supposed to be here”
“You don't have to tell me that” Fox raised his eyebrows at you, “How did you manage get up here?”
“A fun story for another time” You smirked, disappearing around the corner.
Fox followed after you, watching you leave from where he leant in the doorway, when you stopped in your place and turned back to him. You seemed to be weighing something in your head, and then evidently decided to go through with it, jogging back over to him.
Fox raised an eyebrow as you came to stand in front of him, “What is it?”
“I forgot something”
“Forgot wha-?”
Fox was interrupted by you raising onto your tiptoes and placing a delicate kiss to his cheek, your hand finding his to steady yourself. The feel of your hand gently holding his, let alone your lips on his cheek, was enough to set his skin alight. His cheeks were already burning by the time you pulled away.
You gave him a sweet smile, squeezing his hand lightly and speaking in a whisper, “See you later”
Fox watched you go with wide eyes, his body unable to move from where it was firmly rooted to the ground. Your body finally disappeared out of the office, and he let out a breath he didn’t realise that he’d been holding, his body relaxing.
“So you did have a date” Stone nudged his brother, a grin almost splitting his face. Fox just gave him a withering look.
“What did I say about privacy?”
“Well I figured that since you made it everyone's business-”
“I suggest you get back to work, Stone”
“Yep. Got it”
Fox settled himself back at his desk, his fingers trailing along the spine of the book that was now in his possession. His cheeks were still burning, and they probably would be for the rest of the day. He was looking forward to going to the library that night, but it wasn’t for the books this time.
taglist: @darthnihila @cdblake1565
#trex writings#clone commander fox#star wars#the clone wars#clone troopers#clones#tcw#coruscant guard#corrie guard#marshal commander fox#commander fox x reader#commander fox#star wars clone wars#star wars the clone wars#clone wars#divider by saradika
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Kono Oto Tomare! Chapter 138 Scans and Rough TL
Disclaimer: Please DO NOT use this translation to make your own TL of the chapter!! The KOT TL group works very hard to give you the most accurate translation, that does as much justice to the original script as possible. This is a ROUGH translation. That means is faulty and there must be mistakes in certain places. This is just for impatient people like myself to get a grasp on what is going on in the chapter! You can REFERENCE my TL if you want to discuss the chapter but never USE it as it was your own.
Scans: kono oto tomare 138 raw scans
Page 1
Takezou[thoughts]: Back then, I couldn't have even imagined...
Side text: We experienced and overcame so many things together...
Page 2 & 3
*No text*
Page 4
*No text*
Page 5
Takezou [thoughts]: That this day would come.
Chapter title: #138 Tokise High School Koto Club
Page 6
Audience 1: Hey, it's the school of the incident.
Audience 2: It's finally here.
Uzuki: ...
Tsukaji[thoughts]: They're completely in enemy turf here. I already knew that but...
Page 7
Tsukaji[thoughts]: Somehow, through their performance they'll-
Audience 3: Hey, I even saw a bit of their performance on TV, but it wasn't all that impressive.
Audience 4: Totally.
Tsukaji: ...
Komaki: Ugh, everyone's just saying whatever they want! I hope they shut them up with their performance--
Tsukaji[thoughts]: To be honest, if it were Satowa's introductory solo like in 'Tenkyuu', it would surely have silenced the audience instantly with just the first note, but...
Tsukaji[thoughts]: 'Harmony' starts with Kurata's solo.
Tsukaji [thoughts]: When I heard it before it lacked confidence
Tsukaji [thoughts]: To put it harshly, it didn't come even close to Tenkyuu's opening.
Page 8
Tsukaji [thoughts]: Ahhhh I shouldn't be thinking like this! I don't want to think about it but...
Tsukaji [thoughts]: Ichiei and Meiryou made no compromises when assigning their parts...!
Tsukaji [thoughts]: I understand they wanted to be considerate with Kurata, with him being a 3rd year student and the club president!
Tsukaji [thoughts]: But that kind of kindness...
Tsukaji [thoughts]: At Nationals, it could be your downfall.
Judge Tatsumi [thoughts]: With this atmosphere, they probably won't be able to perform properly. Placing at the top is already unlikely. I just hope it ends without any major issues...
Page 9
Announcer: Program Number 13
Announcer: Kanagawa Prefecture. Tokise High School.
Announcer: Composed by Takinami Suzuka: Harmony.
Page 10
Announcer: In April of last year, Tokise High School's koto club was in the verge of disbandment, with only one member left in it.
Annoucer: Since then, one unique member after other gathered.
Announcer: Today, there are 9 members and 2 teachers.
Announcer: Altogether, it has now become a club of 11 integrants.
Page 11
Announcer: Each one of them is an irreplaceable and important presence.
Announcer: The song we will play today, Harmony
Announcer: Was composed for us from scratch by our club advisor Takinami-sensei.
Page 12
Announcer: This sound is our everything.
Announcer: Please, let it reach them.
Page 13
Takezou [thoughts]: I was always scared of that very first note that was entrusted to me. Scared of a future where someone might not be there anymore.
Page 14 & 15
*No text*
Page 16 & 17
*No text*
Page 18 & 19
*All the flashbacks*
Page 20 & 21
*No text*
Page 22 & 23
*No text*
Page 24
Tsukaji [thoughts]: --It wasn't out of consideration. It wasn't a kindness.
Tsukaji[thoughts]: This is
Tsukaji [thoughts]: Sincere, straightforward and earnest to the very end.
Page 25
Tsukaji [thoughts]: That is the sound of Tokise.
Judge Tatsumi: Oh man… if you add too many sounds like this one then-
Page 26
*No text*
Page 27
Chika [memory]: I wanna join the koto club.
Page 28 & 29
*No text*
Page 30 & 31
*No text*
Page 32 & 33
*No text*
Page 34 & 35
*No text*
Page 36 & 37
*No text*
Page 38
Judge Tatsumi [thoughts]: Wait...
Judge Tatsumi[thoughts]: Wait a second.
Judge Tatsumi[thoughts]: This is--
Page 39
Tsukaji: The second solo...!
Page 40
*No text*
Page 41
*No text*
Page 42 & 43
*No text*
Page 44
Tsukaji[thoughts]: Don't cry yet!! It's still too soon!!
Tsukaji[thoughts]: We got the 1st years left!!
Tsukaji[thoughts]: Only the upperclassmen have played together up to this point, you don't want to add any unnecessary sounds to-
Page 45
*No text*
Page 46
*No text*
Page 47
*No text*
Page 48
Ousuke [thoughts]: He's tapping out the bass rythm...!?
Haru [thoughts]: So- so- so cooool----!!!!
Sentarou [thougthts]: His rythm sense is insane!!!
Page 49
Tougo [thoughts]: He's playing Yamada style, same as Kio.
Kio [thoughts]: But the strength of the sound is a bit overpowering-
Page 50 & 51
*No text*
Page 52 & 53
*No text*
Page 54 & 55
*No text*
Page 56
*No text*
Page 57
Judge Tatsumi: ----... What... is this?
Judge Kurokawa: How...
Judge Agata: Why...
Page 58
Judges [thoughts]: ...Is the level of every single member this high.!?
Page 59
*No text*
Page 60
Kifune-sensei: ...
Audience 2: Hey, I... have no idea about the koto but...
Audience 2: --Could it be that
Page 61
Audience: Tokise is... Amazing?
Side text: This is Tokise's sound!
---Kono Oto Tomare! will continue in the next issue!---
#kono oto tomare#kono oto tomare!#kot#sounds of life#stop this sound!#kot!#rough tl#translation#scans#kono oto#kono oto tomare 138#kono oto tomare! 138#kono oto 138#kot 138#kot! 138
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TV Life, 9/20/2024 Issue ft. Kamen Rider Gavv Cast Members (translation below)
Publication: September 4, 2024
Chinen Hidekazu x Hino Yusuke x Miyabe Nozomi
"What were your thoughts when you read the script?"
Chinen: I finished reading it in an instant due to how interesting it was. The more I read, the more I was drawn into the world of this show, and my excitement grew so much that I couldn't wait to play the role.
Hino: Me too. I was so curious about future developments, that every time I read the script, I couldn't wait to get the next one (laughs). Every character that appears is full of personality and intricately intertwined, making this a show that I think children, as well as adults will enjoy.
Miyabe: Naturally, the dialogue is interesting and fun to watch, but each and every character actually has their own problems and insecurities. I thought that the depiction of them growing while confronting these issues was wonderful and gives a human feel to the story. I'm personally encouraged by Shouma and the other's hard work and dedication, so I'd like to do my best to deliver the feelings I have to the viewers as well.
"How do you personally view the roles you play?"
Chinen: Shouma's a cheerful and energetic boy who loves to eat. He's usually innocent, adorable, and incredibly charming, but he's also a very mysterious character from another world. I think his clumsy side and his ability to work as hard as he can in everything he does is what'll make the viewers want to cheer for him, so I'd like to keep that in mind as I perform from now on.
Hino: I play the role of Hanto, a young man who works as a freelance writer, and who's pursuing info on the enemy Granutes. One of the unique characteristics of Hanto is that his feelings towards the Granutes are stronger compared to the others, so I'm always conscious of how to express that in my performance. Going forward, I hope you'll also make sure to pay attention to the development that causes him to transform and become Kamen Rider Valen.
Miyabe: Sachika's the gyaru president of the general store "Hapipare." She's really upbeat and energetic, and she's the kind of person who could just go up to the cool and difficult to approach Hanto and say, "Hey there!" I have no gyaru qualities in my everyday life (laughs), so to prepare for the role, I looked at works in which gyarus appeared and incorporated them into Sachika.
"So, to reference the theme of sweets, how would you compare each other to sweets?"
Hino: Because Hide looks so cute and has some fluffy vibes, I guess he'd be a marshmallow. He's perfectly white and pure just like a marshmallow. Truthfully however, because he also has a strong and unshakable core, he'd be candy filled marshmallows!
Chinen: Those exist?! (laughs). Still, being told I have a strong core makes me happy. Nozomi-san would be yokan.
Miyabe: Yokan?! How surprising (laughs).
Chinen: In contrast to the role she plays, Nozomi-san's usually a very refined person, so when I thought, "What elegant sweets are there?," I came up with yokan.
Miyabe: Thank you. Hino-kun is……
Hino: Huh? You seem stuck (laughs). There's tons of variety and something for everyone, isn't there?!
Miyabe: Since he's always positive when communicating with us and the staff, he's a friendly person, so I guess he'd be dagashi. The fact that he's loved by all ages, genders and generations is also appealing.
Hino: I'm relieved you gave a good answer (laughs).
"And, TV Life will start running your "Relay Series" beginning with this issue."
All: Alright! (clapping).
Chinen: Our seniors had also decided on their title. What should we do?
Miyabe: It should include "Gavv."
Hino: Definitely! I'd prefer it to be catchy and easy to remember, but…
Miyabe: I think serializations are a place where each person's individuality can come out, so how about "GavvPare!," which would be a lineup that reflects the essence of Gavv? (from "onparedo" = lineup)
Chinen & Hino: Oh~! Sounds good!
Miyabe: It'd be great if people could get to know the show and us throughout the series.
Chinen: Yeah. The first one will be mine. Once again, we look forward to your support over the coming year! _
GavvPare! Vol.1 (Chinen Hidekazu)
Q. Tell us your memories of sweets!
A. When I was a child, there was a rule in the Chinen house where sweets were only allowed on weekends, and so that in itself lead to a strong desire to eat sweets. Naturally, I didn't take eating them for granted, so I was really happy to spend time on the weekends choosing and eating my favorite sweets. By the way, when I had a craving for something sweet on a weekday, I'd chew on sugar cane as a substitute for sweets. (laughs).
#yusuke-kun 😊✌️#kamen rider gavv#kamen rider#hidekazu chinen#chinen hidekazu#yusuke hino#hino yusuke#shouma stomach#shouma inoue#inoue shouma#inoue shoma#karakida hanto#hanto karakida#my scans#my translation#sachika amane#amane sachika#various tv japan#tokusatsu#toku cast#interview#honestly the heart pose is too good 🥺
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As I immersed myself in the books, watched the show, and even played one of the games, I couldn't help but wonder about the immense popularity of Jaskier among the fan base. Joey Batey's stellar performance in the Netflix series undoubtedly plays a significant role, but that only accounts for his portrayal in that specific adaptation.
Then it struck me.
When it comes to Jaskier, very little information is actually known beyond a few minor facts.
This is everything currently known about Jaskier
1.) Jaskier is an important character, largely depicted through his close friendship with Geralt, which forms a central aspect of his interactions.
2.) A talented bard, Jaskier received his education at Oxenfurt academy, where he graduated with the highest honors as a Master of the seven liberal arts. This suggests that he possesses intelligence beyond what he often portrays.
3.) Originating from the town of Lettenhove, Jaskier holds the title of Viscount, and his true name is Julian Alfred Pankratz Viscount de Lettenhove. The specific location of Lettenhove on the map, however, remains undisclosed.
4.) Jaskier is known to have numerous romantic partners, as the Netflix adaptation even confirms his involvement with both male and female individuals.
5.) Jaskier's loyalty to Geralt knows almost no bounds, and he is willing to make great sacrifices, even risking his life, to ensure Geralt's safety.
6.) Remarkably, despite being one of the few human characters, Jaskier seems to defy the aging process. This intriguing aspect of his character is not just a casting error in the Netflix series but is also referenced in the books, where his youthful appearance compared to his actual age is mentioned
The enigmatic nature of Jaskier's character offers a captivating canvas for fan creations. With limited canonical information, fans can freely explore various backstories and headcanons. Some popular fan theories propose that Jaskier is more than just human, potentially having ties to a non-human lineage. Others imagine a tragic past, where one of his parents, often his father, was abusive, and he grew up with siblings.
In the realm of fan fiction, creative minds have woven tales of Jaskier's immortality, delving into the reasons behind his agelessness. These speculations and many more allow fans to shape Jaskier as a blank slate, utilizing the scarce details available to craft diverse and compelling narratives that align with their own interpretations of the character.
This artistic freedom empowers fans to explore the depths of Jaskier's persona and invent their unique perspectives, making him a versatile and captivating figure in the realm of fan works
#the witcher netflix#joey batey#geralt of rivia#the witcher#jaskier the witcher#henry cavill#the witcher jaskier#geralt x jaskier#geraskier#jaskier#gerskier#cirilla fiona elen riannon#freya allan#headcanon#yennefer of vengerberg#anya cholatra#anya chalotra#the witcher season 3#fic ideas#witcher yennefer#the witcher season three
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Make assumptions and get the wrong idea. Please. That's what he said.
My brain listening to Who:
(on the beat of course)
Sorry for the brain porn but that's how my brain feels when I hear Jimin's vocals. The runs, the ad libs, the highs, lows, and in-betweens, the breathing, especially the breathing. Especially in the 4K version of the Tonight Show performance posted on BangtanTV.
For many years now I've been wanting to hear Jimin let 'er rip on a big song and FINALLY! FINALLY!
FINALLY!
I started to jot down my interpretations of Who but you know what? no one needs yet another analyzation of the song, the lyrics, the MV, the belt sharing, the ... but one thing I need to point out... Ryan's Vintage Clothes is definitely a nod to Ryan Gosling don't you think? (just kidding sorta)
A ton of people have given their dissertations on what they think it all means. All I know is Jimin has that MAGIC and he is FLEXING big time.
This is my favorite shot from the most recent promo image drop on Weverse. I have always dissented when Jimin would say his left side is his best side. No sir. It's your right side.
The entire Muse album is a complete mind-bender for me. He came up with the ideas and themes and what he couldn't do on his own, he explained to all the people helping him in order to create his vision...
PDogg said this in an interview: "I also believe the experience of collaborating with various producers and songwriters in LA and NY gave Jimin the opportunity to further explore his limitless potential."
Minseong Kim (Performance Director): "When we were working together, I saw Jimin putting a lot of thought into delivering the song's choreography as a visual art form. He uses his detailed expressions to convey various artistic elements in the performance beyond simply presenting stylish, energetic choreography. He is always devoted to emphasizing the artistic elements of the performance by forming a visceral connection to it. I believe that his commitment and passion has shaped Jimin's unique style and allows him to deliver one of the most exciting performances in pop music."
and:
"We had countless discussions about how to visually articulate the story and message of the song through the performance on a larger scale, in a manner that's true to the song's title Who. When the choreography was completed Jimin was utterly pleased with the performance having all the elements he had wished to incorporate."
You can read the entire VMAGAZINE article here.
Regarding the other songs on the album, in MiniMoniMusic Exchange, Jimin mentioned that Rebirth was his favorite track. I do love it too, Jimin. The heartbeat, the poignancy. Perfection.
And I have to compare Be Mine to Seven. In Jungkook's Seven, the explicit version was so very literal and so in your face it was funny, even the MV added to the unserious vibe of it all.
But in Jimin's, Be Mine, he has probably the most erotic lyric I've ever heard coming out of the mouth of a Tannie: "... a hot island, a party with just the two of us; I know what you want and baby I want the same; love ‘til the morning; we just keep fallin’... baby come, baby come; show me what, show me what love is, yeah yeah; melt me hot, hot, hot quickly"
I am streaming all the versions of all the songs and album. I absolutely love it.
Now that I got that out of my system...
It's been about a year (??!?!?) since Jungkook's Only Fans debut live stream. Time is flying.
We are anticipating gaining more context soon surrounding exactly what went down between them the prior two weeks to this live and what did Jimin mean when he said he "can handle it? (Are you sure you wanna know?)
There is a high possibility we might get some jikook carpool karaoke.
The main trailer drops Monday. Hold on to your ... whatever it is you hold on to when you get shook because I'm sure it'll be another earthquake on the timeline.
All lyrics translations credit: © 2024 by Learn Korean With Sel www.learnkoreanwithsel.com/
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Hello, Little Girl (Part One)
Logan Howlett (Wolverine) x Reader
Summary: You have been living at Xavier's school for a few years now, feeling slightly out of place as a Nephilim from another universe but welcome nonetheless. When something pops up that has no business being in this universe you're sent gearing up for a mission that you would rather leave the X-Men out of, but an anxious endless and overprotective step-uncle-devil insist on this being worked as a team.
A/N: The title is an Into the Woods reference for no good reason other than that I couldn't help myself. We're also loosely using X2 Logan purely because of the kitchen scene, but in reality it's an AU.
Some quick background, the reader (Y/N in fic, described with she/her pronouns) is based off of an OC I tend to pull out pretty frequently. Half human, half angel, displaced from their home universe and dropped into this one, with characters from Lucifer (show/comics) and The Sandman (show/comics) making appearances despite not existing in the Marvel Universe. *shrug* TW: Alcohol use, swearing, mature/explicit themes down the line in subsequent chapters so MDNI
Feedback/questions/comments HUGELY appreciated as it took me a long ass time to say f it and post this <3
Pairing: Logan Howlett x Reader
Word Count: 3,437
It was late when you arrived, but that was part of your plan. You didn’t want too much of a fuss and had plenty of groceries to put away, everyone made a big fuss out of missing your cooking when you announced your departure, so you were sure to come back with all the essentials you knew you’d be asked to make in the coming days. It was late to start cooking, even by your standards, but the silence in the house was so deep that you were certain starting some baked goods wouldn’t be the cause of any commotion. You got to work with plenty of butter, flour, sugar, and eggs on hand. All of the basics you would need to make as many things as possible.
You got started on big batches of basics; chocolate chip cookies, brownies, dough for cinnamon rolls to serve tomorrow morning. You had several bowls in various stages of prep when you fell silent, realizing you were no longer alone.
“If I had known you were here I swear I wouldn’t have started,” you turned, explaining yourself to the only person it could be, “You’re the only one who could’ve heard any of this from three floors away.”
Logan shook his head in the negative and unlocked the fridge that stored alcohol for the adults of the mansion, grabbing two beers. He held one out to you that you accepted, and he took a large sip of his before explaining.
“I was up as soon as you landed in the kitchen,” he referenced your unique method of travel, shrugging, “You might be flying too fast to see, but I heard you.”
You smirked, “Yet you waited until the cookie dough was just about ready…”
He shrugged, “Figured you’d be so happy to see your favorite in the house you’d be more likely to sneak me some extra.”
“Were you even asleep?” You cut through the bullshit, and Logan chuckled, “And so confident you’re my favorite?” You teased, “What if it’s Scott?”
He actually growled and wasn’t ashamed of it, “Don’t say things just to wound me, darlin’.”
You chuckled to yourself but relented, sharing the cookie dough with the wolverine with an extra spoon you pulled from the drawer as soon as you realized who was snooping. You took a long sip of the beer and hummed, relenting without much of a fight.
“How many are still here?” He knew what you meant without clarification.
“Not many, but they’re all older so no one complains about these,” He gestured to the beers between the two of you, “But all of this will be gone by tomorrow.” He meant all of your baked goods and you shrugged.
“That’s what they’re for, Old Man.” He glared at you, shoveling more cookie dough out of the bowl.
“How long are we going to do this little dance?” He asked looking you dead in the eye. It took a lot to throw you off balance, but Logan was better at doing it than most.
“Is it your hip? Need a seat, grandpa?” They were coming out half-hearted even to you, and he leveled you with a look to tell you as much as he continued to wait, “Alright look, I’ll admit those weren’t my best, but if you don’t want to keep up the dance how about you just ask me whatever it is you want to know?”
Logan looked genuinely surprised and you snorted, getting back to work you started to roll out dough that had finished resting for the cinnamon rolls. Logan sat down to watch, sipping his beer and enjoying your company while he worked out how to ask you everything he was thinking without scaring you off.
He sighed, “When you left you said you couldn’t tell us much, and I understand needing to leave the past in the past better than most.”
You waited for him to continue as you spread the filling across the dough. There were long silences sometimes between the two of you, but they never felt awkward. Logan didn’t have the gift of gab, but you weren’t in any rush. You learned early on that it was best to give him his time, but you also realized equally early that sometimes Logan sitting down and trying to talk about his feelings was like trying to recite a poem he’s never heard in a language he doesn’t speak.
“If I’m being totally honest, and I will be since it seems like that’s what you’re getting at, I don’t really know if I fixed anything or if I just…” You trailed off and Logan nodded, scooping up more cookie dough. This was the point you realized Logan really wasn’t leaving without more answers from you, any other day and that cookie dough would be a fond memory by now.
“If they’re sending you for intel it must be pretty bad, huh?”
You finally got a genuine laugh out of him, “No one sent me, bub. The reason I waited for this to be ready first,” he gestured to his snack, “Is because I could smell the stress on you miles away. Whatever sent you runnin off hasn’t let you alone since, matter of time before you accept the fact you need help.”
You squinted, “Can you actually smell stress or is that an exaggeration?” It may have sounded like a joke but you were genuinely curious and he knew, deciding to humor you.
“More complicated than I made it sound, but bottom line is yes, bub. Is it my turn to ask a question?” He threw you a signature smirk as you both nursed your drinks, cinnamon rolls temporarily abandoned. You took a deep breath.
“You’re no stranger to the fact that there are other worlds out there, some like the ones I came from, some much closer than that within this universe.” Logan sobered up quickly, sitting up straighter. He thought it would take more prodding, he didn’t expect you to casually toss him into the deep end. “Does the name Morepheus mean anything to you?”
Logan shook his head in the negative and you nodded, but he interrupted before you could continue, “Do you want me to wake the professor?”
You smiled sadly, “I’m going to tell him everything too. But is it alright if I just tell you first, we’ll consider it a first draft. I really have no clue how I’m going to explain this to-”
“I’m gonna get us some proper drinks, don’t get too ahead of yourself kiddo.” You rolled your eyes and took the break as an opportunity to finish spreading the filling and roll up the cinnamon rolls to rest ahead of slicing and baking.
Opening up to Logan first thing upon your arrival wasn’t on your bingo card for how your return was going to go, but it wasn’t unwelcome either. Your friendship with Logan was an easy one, but you couldn’t pretend it didn’t get strained in your absence. He knew you weren’t a mutant and that some part of you felt you didn’t belong at the school, didn’t deserve it, but he would be the first to remind you that didn’t matter. Of course, you weren’t fully human either, so what that made you to the team was always a question mark in your own mind.
Logan returned and began covering your many bowls before you had a chance to tell him what went where, “I take it you’re forcing me into a break?”
“And some sleep if I’m lucky.” He meant it as a joke but regretted it as soon as he saw your face fall, “But for now moving us into the study with the whiskey.”
You got the kitchen mostly in a state of order before heading down the hallway to meet Logan by the fire, plate of brownies in hand. If you weren’t painfully aware of the bad news you were about to deliver, it might even feel romantic, huddled near the fire with chocolate and alcohol. You kicked your shoes off and collapsed onto the small couch beside Logan, enough space between the two of you to feel intimate without being crowded. You closed your eyes and leaned backwards into the plush cushions of the couch, taking a deep breath as you tried to pinpoint the start.
“Now hon the first thing you need to understand is that nothing sent me off running. It may have seemed abrupt to everyone here, except the professor that is, but I was gone the second my head hit the pillow that night. I shut my eyes here and opened them in another world.” You took a deep breath as Logan stared back at you looking like he wasn’t entirely certain if you had completely lost it or were telling him something of dire importance. Once the shock wore off and he remembered who he was speaking to, a nephilim from another universe, he decided if you told him you were pulled into another world, he had no reason to doubt it as fact.
“Do you know where you were?”
You nodded and pointed to your empty glasses, “It’s not like you to be stingey with the liquor, ever plan on helping a girl out?”
He rolled his eyes but eagerly poured you both what looked to be maker’s mark. Not your favorite but for the conversation ahead anything would do. You weren’t a lightweight, but you couldn’t be called a drinker either, so you surprised yourself and Logan when you downed the double shot he poured before refilling your own glass and topping off his. You expected a snarky joke or more disapproval of your behavior, but instead the Wolverine just continued to watch you as if he were studying for a test he wasn’t entirely prepared for.
You didn’t need his heightened senses to see that your behavior was putting him on edge, and you quietly admired this as one of his most underrated abilities. He might not know what you were about to tell him, but his instincts knew before you said the words that you were gearing up for a fight.
“Have you ever heard of the Endless?” You asked Logan and he slowly shook his head no, “I didn’t think so, at this point most people think of them as myths. Stories that got lost to time and all that. But my Uncle Lu had a few run ins with the family, not all of them good, but you know how he could be…” You wandered off for a bit and Logan felt a chill, as much as he would try to deny it. You mentioned him so casually, your “Uncle Lu”, Lucifer Morningstar, the devil himself.
“Dream of the Endless dropped in at Lux to see if Lucifer was behind a hex bag found in the dreaming.” You pulled a leather pouch from your pocket and Logan felt all the hair on his arms stand at edge, “It’s unusual here though, this type of magic. Even some of the most powerful magic users in this world haven’t seen anything like it, but to be fair it’s some creative work.” You pulled the drawstrings slightly to open it just enough for Logan to see inside.
“Bones? And..” He squinted at the bag and you nodded as he finished, “Sand.”
“It belongs to Dream. Also known as the Sandman, never seen without a raven,” you gestured to the bones in the palm of your hand, “and his sand. They contain fragments of his power, even in this state.” You stared at the item in your hand that weighed on you more heavily than the literal weight of its contents. You felt yourself veering towards tipsy but reached for your glass anyway.
“The irony of who I’m saying this to isn’t lost on me, but you seem pretty quiet, even for you.” You threw a playful elbow nudge in Logan’s direction and completely missed, he caught your shoulder before you could fall over him onto the couch. His hand stayed on your arm as he shook his head as if to clear his head.
“Have you seen anything like it?” Logan asked cautiously. If he was being completely honest the direction of this conversation was unsettling him for reasons he couldn’t place, it was a new feeling entirely.
“That’s the million dollar question,” You smiled sadly, “I’m gonna need a favor, Lo.” You stood up and began throwing all your strength into sliding the small couch you and Logan had just occupied out of the way, lifting the edge of the rug it had been resting on. You gestured to a particular floorboard, “Can you lift that one?”
You expected another question or any hesitation really, but Logan stood and did as you asked. You reached into the opening as soon as the board was cleared and pulled out a small bag that looked nearly identical to the one you had shown Logan.
“I have a feeling I’m not gonna like where this is goin’.” Logan huffed as you returned the floorboard and started to climb back into your seat.
“Everyone told me the kind of things in the world I came from didn’t exist here, but even when I was with Lucifer and then came here, I couldn’t just…let my guard down?” It sounded like you were asking him a question but you just kept going, “I had been on the run for years, Logan, and everyone was telling me I was safe here, but-”
“You were stuck in survival mode.” He said it as matter of fact, and you closed your eyes and nodded, “So you hid these here for…protection?” Logan was giving you a break, filling in the gaps he came to understand from what you were telling him and what he already knew about you.
“Some are for protection,” You nodded, “Some of them actually act as little safeguards too so that if someone or something comes waltzing in here that shouldn’t be, it can bind them to the spot.”
Logan chuckled, the way you delighted in your clever tricks not lost on him, “Can’t say we couldn’t have used a few of those before you got here,”
“To be honest, I wasn’t even sure if they would work here. Still not totally sure, can only tell you that this one,” you pointed to the one fallen open with sand and bones, “Managed to work in the dreaming without Morpheus detecting anything.”
You didn’t need to tell Logan you were scared, your heart rate was erratic enough for him to start to wonder if he should change the subject, shit on Scott for a while or something else guaranteed to get a chuckle out of you. This time a few years ago he might’ve done that, when you were both still new and he didn’t know how quickly you would become pivotal to his life, to everything he knew about who he was, not that he ever said as much. When it came to you Logan wasn’t prepared to take the easy outs, he needed you to tell him everything.
“How does it work?” It was a careful question asked quietly, vague enough to keep you talking, but not specific enough to spook you.
“It was basically hijacking some of Dream’s power. Whoever made this used it to create a little pocket dimension for themself deep in the dreaming, the only reason Morpheus found out at all was an increasing number of dreams and nightmares stumbling upon it only to be transported back to Morpheus’s castle with no memory of their hours before.” Your voice was just above a whisper, and you startled a bit when Logan snorted.
“This guy has a castle?” He asked, raising an eyebrow.
“You know, some would call this a castle, Logan.” You getured to the mansion you were seated in, tucked away in the cozy study that screamed wealth, intentional or not, “But yes, Morpheus, Dream of the Endless, King of Dreams and Nightmares. No one has that many names and doesn’t have a castle.”
Logan caught the mocking tone and was grateful to hear it, “So are you telling me you ditched us to go hang out in a castle, Princess?”
He smirked at you and your heart stuttered for a different reason entirely. Logan being insanely, ridiculously attractive was by no means new to you, but huddled next to the fireplace and calling you ‘Princess’, even jokingly….well, you took a deep breath and tried to laugh off just how flustered his comment made you.
He knew, of course he knew. Any other night Logan may have finally taken the plunge, grabbed you by the chin to look him in the eye and ask if the two of you were ready to stop dancing around your feelings. But then again he had been telling himself that for months already, and the night of your return showing up being chased by ghosts from your past was probably not the best night to add more to your plate.
“Something like that. I actually haven’t gone to the dreaming yet, Lu didn’t think…well, he thought-”
Logan stiffened and his mind started racing a thousand miles a minute while screaming at himself that he’s a fucking idiot, that he should have caught on to what this all meant sooner.
“He thinks they’re coming for you?” It was growled through his teeth, but he needed to ask it.
“He thinks…” you chose your next words carefully, not wanting to put Logan any more on edge than he already was, “That we don’t know enough yet to rule it out, and me prancing right into the dreaming, even with him and Morpheus-”
“You need backup.” Logan finished for you as you nodded.
“As much as I don’t want to involve any of you in this, I’m afraid I don’t have much of a choice. Logan, I,” you struggled with this next part, trying to figure out how to explain it.
“Just say it, kid, don’t worry about how it sounds on my account.”
“Logan, the best case scenario would actually be that they’re coming for me.” You whispered as Logan began to snarl, you continued talking faster, “The alternative is that someone with a lot of knowledge they shouldn’t have is trying to destabilize the dreaming. If that’s what’s happening, I’m not the only person in danger. Human and mutant alike, we’re all tied to the dreaming. If the dreaming dies…”
“Alright kid, look,” Logan sat up in his chair and took your hands, that you hadn’t realized you were wringing anxiously, in his, “I’ve lived a long time, alright? Until I met you I didn’t know about all of this celestial bullshit, hell I still don’t understand half of what you’ve told me tonight.” You chuckled, acknowledging it was quite a lot to handle in general let alone around 3 am, “But you know what, bub? I’ve been in more wars than I’d care to count, we’ve been in battles with imperial space birds, and I’ve had to time travel enough that Chuck sometimes has to fill me in on what’s changed when my consciousness returns to the present.”
You looked at him quizzically, not having been aware of that last one and he shrugged, “You can be nosey about it later, my point is everyone under this roof has stopped the end of the world a few times by now, don’t go losing sleep before we even know what we’re up against. Give us some credit.” He winked at you and squeezed your hands before returning them to your lap and finishing his drink.
You released a breath you hadn’t realized you were holding and smiled sweetly at him, a little too sweetly in fact, “That was quite the pep talk Lo, gotta be careful, some might say you’re starting to sound like Scott.”
You expected a glare, maybe even an actual growl as you compared Logan to the ever present thorn in his side but instead he shrugged, “You tell anyone I said this and I’ll deny it, but one thing Summers and I agree on is tackling the big bads as a team. From this universe or whoever the hell else is stupid enough to come knocking.”
There were a few beats of silence as what Logan said soaked in, and even though your instincts were still screaming at you to run, when Logan told you you would face it and beat it as a team, god help you, you believed him.
#logan howlett x reader#wolverine x reader#lucifer show#the sandman netflix#mcu fanfiction#marvel fanfiction#james howlett#say hi or something#i'm a mess lol
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it's not something strange or unique to say that after the last haikyuu movie, most of us got into it again, but at the same time, I know for sure that I'm not the only one who benefits the most from this re...union.
I went to see the haikyuu movie alone, and at first, it didn't hit me that much. maybe it was because I couldn't help but wonder how much I would have enjoyed it with my best friend, but we are grown-ups now and long distance.
after a couple of days, the internet was full of haikyuu content again, just like during lockdown, and because of that, I also got into it again and realized how much of a masterpiece it is.
haikyuu is well known, but in my opinion, it is underestimated and categorized by others as just a silly volleyball-sport anime. it saddens me so much that there are so many people who will never get to embrace this piece of art.
Furudate not only created a coming-of-age story, a story that inspired and still inspires generations to fight for their dreams, to engage in the complex mess of relationships, teamwork, and partnerships. haikyuu teaches you that if you really do have a dream, and if you are really ambitious, if you work hard for it, your time will come too. but it also teaches you that not choosing to be great is not a tragedy; your dreams of what a good life means can be different from the ideals of others: "life is unfair, but damn it, at the same time, it is really fair too."
so why did I go on writing about this? because I can't comprehend how haikyuu manages to be there for me at the best time—or the worst, better said—how it really took its "comfort anime" title seriously for me. I started haikyuu in my last year of high school: extremely stressed, depressed, and anxious, so scared of what the upcoming end would mean for me that I'd tricked myself into living by coming to the conclusion that I'd simply not make it to 18 if I didn't see a future for myself. it seemed only fair and the universe would do its thing, no? I know, kinda depressing and triggering, but it did help that miserable me then, it did help but not in the way I prayed it would. the universe didn't send me "death," it sent me life and hope through haikyuu. feeling so empty, so bland for such a long time, haikyuu managed to make me laugh and cry. it doesn't sound like much, but real ones know what I'm talking about. seeing their connection, their ambition, the troubles and feelings I was so desperate to put into words right in front of me saved me from my misery. I began to wish to live, to wish to be like them, to wish to fight, to wish to connect again with people.
now, after almost 4 years, I'm in my last year of uni. the main reason for my depression back then in high school was because I didn't know what to do with my life, what uni and career to choose. hell, I didn't know I would take this path until last autumn, but here I am, on my way to becoming a teacher. it's hard, really hard, but right now, after the new movie, I finally committed to start and finish the manga even though I knew bits and pieces of what happens. it was the best time to read it now. over these 3-4 years, I pondered why I couldn't start getting into the manga and see for myself what happens, but damn it was the best time to read it now. seeing them go all out on their path, learning that in order to succeed you need to fight and fight and fight, to push through, to overcome your limits, to push yourself, to not take it easy if you really want it, came at the best time as I got into a slump and a burnout from learning too much but also not learning enough. I've got to see all of the characters continuing to be pros while fighting for their way, but also choosing to let go of something they once loved in order to live a normal life.
haikyuu is like a reminder that there is more to life than just your high school/childhood years, that your path could take a 180-degree turn at any point, but at the same time, it makes you appreciate those times and not want to sweep your childlike wonder, your growth, and mistakes under a rug. Furudate was a genius for creating haikyuu, and I really hope and pray that haikyuu will continue to be there, to comfort and save future generations until the end of time.
#haikyuu#haikyuu!!#manga#anime#karasuno#nekoma#fukurodani#aoba johsai#hinata shouyou#kageyama tobio#oikawa tooru#kozume kenma#bokuto koutarou#miya atsumu#fly#jump#my writing#yapping
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Hello!! Is it okay for me to request JeffxJack headcannons/fic?? They're literally my brainrot at the moment and I can't stop thinking abt them 😔 (Maybe even try to start off the relationship with an enemy type thing since they have the opposite personality) SRY IF THIS IS TOO LONG I REALLY LOVE THEM 😔😔
(And if 🐧 or 🦇 anon is free can I have it :33?? I really really love ur writing so much <333)
EYELESS JACK / JEFF THE KILLER HEADCANONS
CHARACTERS: Well, it's in the title.
I love these guys! I had a small phase over them a few months ago... Writing this was like a throwback. Also, you can absolutely have 🐧!!! Thank youuu! :D
CW: Self-Harm, Cannibalism, Fluff With a Little Angst
BEFORE DATING
Jeff is hated by a lot of the mansion for being an asshole. Jack is on the same boat as him; but for Jack, it's less severe, since he's only an asshole when someone annoys him. They didn't get along at the start. How could they? They were both angsty teenagers when they met. Jeff found Jack's deadpan and straight-forward personality to be annoying; Jack was the same with Jeff's bitchy attitude.
However, after working together in missions, they found they work surprisingly well with each other. Over time, Jack became one of the only people Jeff could tolerate in the mansion. Jeff found himself yearning to spend more time with Jack. During this period of pining, Jeff had more outbursts as he couldn't come to terms with having a crush on Eyeless Jack of all people.
Unbeknownst to Jeff, Jack felt the same. Jack was confused at first. Confused as to why Jeff kept avoiding him. It made him upset, and a bit jealous when he saw Jeff interacting with others. Jack had liked people in the past, but this was different. Jeff was right there. So close to Jack's reach. All Jack had to do was reveal his feelings, but he couldn't.
They realised they had a crush on each other when Jeff drunkenly confessed to Jack. The drunken confession turned into a sober one in the morning (Jack had to help Jeff through his hangover).
WHILE DATING
Jack is attracted to Jeff's humanity; he likes Jeff's personality, and is undoubtedly curious about what lies beneath Jeff's surface — the surface that's so angry all the time. Jack wants to understand Jeff's emotions, because maybe it'll help Jack reconnect with his own. Jeff is attracted to Jack's lack of humanity. Jeff likes knowing he's not alone, that there's another person who feels as isolated from humanity as he does. They connect knowing that neither of them chose the life they're living.
Out of the two, Jack is WAY more affectionate. He's unnecessarily caring, overbears Jeff with gifts, and holds Jeff's hand whenever he can. This is because Jack doesn't understand relationships and thinks he's being a good boyfriend by doing the most. And he is a good boyfriend! Jeff is always happy to accept his boyfriend's acts of affection.
Jack uses WikiHow to get tips on how to be a better boyfriend. He steals pick-up lines straight from Google. Things along the lines of, "Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only 10 I see." Jeff always laughs at Jack's pick-up lines, finding them to be funny and cute.
Meanwhile, Jeff asks Lulu and Clockwork for advice. But never once will he ever ask Ben for advice. Lulu is a good person to go to because she's Jack's closest friend. Meanwhile, Clockwork is Jeff's best-friend. Plus, she's been in two relationships already.
Jack flirts more than Jeff, but without the help of others, his way of flirting is... unique. "I'm going to rip out your intestines and eat them for dinner." "...Jesus Christ." On the rare occasion Jack does flirt successfully, Jeff gets all flustered, telling him to, "Shut up..."
Jack attempts to get Jeff to stop re-cutting that smile on his face and just let it heal. After a heated argument in the bathroom, Jeff begrudgingly agrees, and Jack sews up the slits in Jeff's cheeks. Similarly, Jeff convinces Jack to stop wearing his mask so often.
Jeff goes straight to Jack whenever he has any injuries. It's a better option than the lunatic they call Nurse Ann. Jack gives Jeff whatever the hell he wants whenever he's ill. The best part of dating a demon is that he can't get sick! Jeff's favourite thing to eat is grilled cheese, so Jack has practically perfected the recipe.
Jeff pierces Jack's ears and eyebrow; helps him decorate his room; and helps him… be more human, if you will. Jack teaches Jeff how to cook; Jeff takes care of Jack's indoor plants whenever Jack is sleeping in. They go on walks with Smile Dog together. They stay up late watching TV and shit talking other proxies. Jack has a whole list of TV shows he loves, all of them have to do with crime and/or hospitals.
Jeff introduces Jack to his emo ass music; they sneak into concerts together, or host mini ones in Jeff's room. Before Jeff, Jack didn't listen to much music, so he quickly becomes an emo like Jeff.
During killing sprees, Jeff gathers organs to take back to his boyfriend. Jack appreciates it. He offers Jeff some kidneys, but Jeff adamantly refuses. Sometmes, they go on killing sprees together. Jeff does all the killing while Jack harvests the organs.
!!! a lot of these are yanked straight from my google document about jackjeff headcanons i made in december LMFAOOO.
#🐧 anon#requests#creepypasta#jeff the killer#jeffrey woods#eyeless jack#jeffjack#jackjeff#jeff the killer x eyeless jack#eyeless jack x jeff the killer#creepypasta headcanon#creepypasta headcanons
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Soundless Confession
"Everyone dismissed."
*Lucifer bowed respectfully to his elder brother, dismissing himself to the flourishing garden of Eden. He wasn't supposed to be here though. Michael had made that clear. Carefully, he fluttered down, avoiding as much noise as he could, until he was seated on a very large branch of a peach tree.
The young Seraphim's eyes were vacant, as if observing something. What could he have been observing?
Why, the First Man, of course! He was watching from a distance, absolutely fascinated by his tanned skin, his brown hair, and his wonderfully golden eyes. He looked so different compared to the angels' pale skin and (mostly) blond hair. He didn't bear any facial markings like the angels. He was completely new and captured Lucifer's attention.
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A duck ran past Adam's feet, capturing his attention with its quacking. It seemed to have spotted something, waddling towards the tree, making a huge ruckus. It continued to honk and quack up the trunk, fixated on something in the branches.
Lucifer tried desperately to shush the duck, falling out of the tree from leaning too far.*
*Adam looked at the newcomer with curious eyes. He couldn't help but tilt his head in fascination at this strange new being. Gently, as if picking up a baby animal, he picked the creature up to examine him. The animal was small and had many wings. Adam brushed a finger through the feathers and watched as the creature shivered at his touch. Adam hummed as he began to gently run his fingers over the white skin he saw.
The animal was pale, lacking any color until his got to his cheeks. Such a vibrant blue. The creature made odd noises as he touched him but when he began picking at the thing draping over his body by sticking a hand underneath, it let out a squeal.
Adam blinked. Well, if the male animal wanted to be put down, then he supposed that he could oblige. He placed the creature on the ground and watched as he brushed himself off. Adam almost thought he was a human like himself, but…something inside told him that whatever this creature was, wasn't human. His cheeks looked to be turning yellow…it reminded him of a bird he saw…
"Now that we got all of that sorted out, I can introduce myself." The creature smiled up at him as Adam looked down at him. He was very small, coming to Adam's hip.
"I'm Lucifer Morningstar, Adam. I am an angel of the Lord." Adam titled his head. An angel? He just stared at him. He didn't know what kind of noises the creature was making. It wasn't like anything he'd ever heard.
The sun light sipping through the trees casted a glow over the being’s wings and hair. The a brilliant shade so enticing, Adam couldn’t help but reach out and touch an upper wing. It flinched at his touch, reminding Adam of the shyer breeds within the garden. Slowly he bends down to be more level with the being crowned in gold. Tracing the delicate shape of their face, the shades of their eyes and cheeks. Carefully he cupped their face and something about brushed the blue markings pulled a frozen reaction. Adam smiled and cooed softly as he would any animal, hoping the draw them closer to inspect.
Lucifer's cheeks turned a brilliant yellow when he felt those strong hands on his face. How they brushed his porcelain white face. When Adam began cooing at him like he was an animal did he realize that Adam…didn't know how to speak. Why would the angels make him like that? That…was rather odd. Lucifer bit his lip when he felt fingers brush through wings and gently grabbed his wrists. "Adam, gentle." The human tilted his head and brought his face impossibly closer to Lucifer's, cooing soflty.
Lucifer allowed him to look at him while he did the same. He loved just how big Adam was. Very different than what he was expecting but he couldn't say he was disappointed.
Adam stared at his wings incredulously. His fingers slowly drafting through the shades of colors with fascination. Its softness was something foreign and unique, different than the other animals under his care. Was it a bird or something more chimera like the wildebeest? Plucking the pretty thing off the ground, Adam carried him out from the shade and held it high wards the sun. And through its bright exposure the wonderful thing’s wings light up on full display. Simmering varies of blues and tinted whites more spectacular than any other bird or rainbow. Adam twirled the spectacular thing around with a boyish laugh watching its sparkle in the sun. But he wasn’t so in marvel not to take notice of the creatures’s strange coverings. It obscured his view and by lowering the tiny thing, Adam gave its head a pet.
*Adam, for the life of him, couldn't figure out what he was. Then, he decided that this strange new creature must be newly created. So Adam must name him. He always took a long time to come up with a name and then they would just….become what he thought of them. This creature was special. He would have come up with a extra special name for him.
He hugged the creature close, noticing he was making those strange noises again.*
The noises were pretty and immediately drew Adam to inspect its mouth next. Watching intently as its mouth and its tongue rolled over each sound. Finding the movement to be deliberate each interrogate vocal and formation. Moving closer for further investigation, the pretty thing abruptly stopped before slipping out his hold a laugh. That, Adam could recognize as a noise similar to himself. Birds couldn’t do that without mimicking him, dumping Adam’s bird theory, but emerging with a new idea. That, perhaps, this being was something more new. Like the things he heard whispered in dreams. “You truly are innocent, aye? I can’t believe that my siblings haven’t even tried to met you yet…” Lucifer said. Moving back slowly with a laugh as Adam only seemed to be all the more fascinated by him. After the long neglect from his siblings, it was strangely endearing to be of someone’s entire focus. He looked more closely upon Adam and reached out to mimic the same petting motion Adam did before. This brought a smile to the human, which Lucifer was more than happy to return when suddenly Adam reached out and pulled at his robes.
Adam was curiouse to know what the strange second skin was like underneath. Another squeak came from the creature but Adam would not be deterred at this point. He wanted to know.
"Please! Wait!" Lucifer begged as Adam finally succeeded in looking underneath. It was marvelous. This creature had the same parts as him except bigger then Adam's! Lucifer finally succeeded in pushing the garments down.
"Good Heavens…" Lucifer said, his cheeks yellow and clashing with his blue markings. Adam just stared at him in confusion but allowed the creature to do what he wanted.
“You shouldn’t do that—-!” Lucifer voice cut off as Adam reached out again as if to grab again for his robes. Lucifer, trying to be mindful of his strength, took Adam by the shoulders. Ready to push him off when the human didn’t try for the robe again, only touching the surface of the fabric. Lucifer exhaled, flustered and relieved while his mind scrambled for a way to communicate. He knew he could simply leave, but seeing the state his siblings were willing to leave Adam in, gave Lucifer pause. His lack of communication and obvious obliviousness of his knowledge of angels was honestly disconcerting. Like discovering a trapped animal in a cage and letting it think it was free. “Poor thing… you don’t know better…” Lucifer said with a sympathetic smile. Adam returned the gesture again while his hands still played with the fabric, rolling over Lucifer’s form with his large hands. It was embarrassing, feeling a swell of heat arise in other places beyond his cheeks. Adam’s exploring hands taking his mind slowly else where.
“Hey, Adam. Maybe I can teach yoOOUUUU!!!” Adam heard the being make the funniest of sound the moment he rediscovered the similar shape between its legs. His fingers moving over the shape, tracing its girth through the strange covering. While doing so, he reached down to touch himself between his legs to compare their shapes and sizes. His eyes widen when they both grew harder beneath his palms. Human enough apparently.
Again, the being made a strange sound as Adam rubbed the end of the being’s stiffness.
Dēoful…would that be its name?
Lucifer gasped in shock and let out a strangled moan as he watched as Adam compare them. If Adam didn't stop soon, Lucifer wouldn't be able to stop his instincts. He had already thought…of pinning this man down and show him just how he was supposed to do it. No. Control. He had to control himself. He grabbed Adam's wrists, firm but gently and placed them by the human’s side. "No. You can't touch without permission." Adam looked cresten fallen. He may not understand Lucifer but he does know when he's being denied. The strange creature didn't want him to touch there. He was curiouse still but he relented.
"Thank you…you'll end up making me do something I might regret later."
Lucifer watched as Adam stood up and picked a fruit from a tree before handing it to Lucifer. He ate his own fruit and watched him expectantly. Crossing his legs to hide his erection better he ate the fruit provided.
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Part 1 of a quick to done between @libby-for-life and I. Mainly for @sir-tater-of-the-tot!
Sorry for all the mistakes. Hopefully, I, at least, fixed mine. I just wanted something up that wasn’t about the fire or the election. I’ll draw a picture later!
Next:
#traditional art#adam x lucifer#lucifer x adam#drawing#hazbin hotel#my art#guitarduck#adamsapple#Libby rp
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Once upon a dream
Monty Finch x gn! Reader
Summary: your favorite pet bird couldn’t possibly forget you even after turning human. His dreams plagued with your being, A figment of his imagination is the excuse he used to brush it off, until fantasy became reality. Warnings: brief mention of human reproduction/sex (BOOKS!) , flirting, nervous! monty
Word count: 950
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Authors note: This was actually one of the first fanfics i wrote for the characters Joshua Colley plays. Never posted it cause i thought no one would be interested. But after seeing one of my mutuals post something about monty i caved. THIS ONES FOR YOU!!!
(this may be the reason why my acc is crow coded (・ε・)
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His memories were filtered only the ones with importance coming to him like deja vu. After being turned into a human by his witch now mother... he'd find it difficult to learn the ropes of his new life.
The task his mother had assigned him was always protruding in the back of his head. It was his purpose his identity, his bird days long gone behind him. Yet he couldn't help but miss the feeling of freedom, flying through the breeze of the night sky without a care in the world. "Monty" a sultry voice plagued his dreams their touch as light as a feather coaxing him into the depths of the soft material known as his bed. A turn or two only led to more images flooding his brain, the (y/c/h) locks, their soft skin, laughter... so sweet that his taste buds rejoiced in it. Their presence felt familiar. As if he'd gone through those exact situation time and time again.
One day when out on a stroll to the library around his house a person sent his nervous system into overdrive. The books on human biology, communications and the reproductive system in his hand. Even if he had been surrounded by humans his whole life he never seemed to gain the grasp of social norms. Especially the shared relationship of romantic partners, he felt inferior.. so he wanted to control these new odd emotions his dreams had caused him.... That they had caused. His lip hung open, shallow breaths exiting while his eyes were wide taking in your form. You were so unbothered reading the back of a book, small fingers clutching the cover gently.
A few memories hit his brain like a brick, your laughter, the touch that lingered on his now covered in cold sweat neck that were once feathers... where your hands had once been. Your room littered with books and seemingly endless shelves...
Then before he could recall more a migraine took over his forehead, the books in his hands slipping off creating a big thud to echo through the library row you were in. Monty held a hand up to his head, an electric shock traveling through his body as your face snapped away from the letters in your hand and now meeting his eyes. "I'm so, so sorry" he made sure to mutter an apology before struggling to lean down without making his pain worse. What he didn't expect was for you to hastily leave the book you once had, forgotten on the shelf. "It's alright, it happens to the best of us..". Your assuring voice made his heart skip a beat, he only successfully picked two books up. His eyes couldn't help but linger on your face, your perfect eyebrows the way your nose slopped to add character, beautiful eyes.. so common yet so unique to you. Noticing this weird trance he was in you inquired, " have I met you before?". His eyelids stretched up, "-I don't really- I don't think we have, don't remember you atleast". A little hmm rumbles from your throat, "I think you're right.. after all as an avid visitor I'd remember someone highly interested in human reproduction". You tease as you read the titles of the two books in your hands, 'human reproduction & fertility control' and the other 'the complete book of sex education'. Finding it a bit interesting to say the least.
Monty could feel his body heating up due to embarrassment, "I-I it's not that, I don't find it very interesting,I'm just it's for-it's for a project, you know science". A nervous laughter erupted from him then died down noticing the silence on your end as you finally gave him his books. Your mouths inner corners were stretched in a pitiful smile from his sad attempt at lying. Yet it was a bit genuine as well. You had been in his shoes countless times trying to explain your hobbies or amusements to other people that found them rather strange. Before he could bask in the shame for too long you stretched your hand out, telling him your name. His mouth repeated your own words, the letters of your name rolling of his tongue so swell as he just had to test it out. "-Monty, my names Monty". Both of your hands interlocked give each other a squeeze. He didn't want to let go, loving how your skin felt on his, his feathers no longer a barrier. But he eventually did.
" I had a pet bird named Monty ", hearing his name makes you reminisce. Monty's brain was flooded with intrusive urges. For him to tell you truth, that he was the crow you had held such a fond relationship with. He was your bird, your crow and you were the one he'd visit those countless nights before, his human. But he bit his lip down instead knowing his mother would be displeased if she found out. "That's... nice" he chose as his next words unwisely. "I mean not really when you haven't seen him for days.. ". The light sadness in your tone made him hold sympathy, even if he couldn't remember specific moments with you. He was sure you were a sweet human. "I'm sorry to hear that".
You try to fight the disappointment with optimism, "I'm sure he'll show up again, he's a smart bird." Those last words made his chest puff with pride, you really thought those wonderful things about him. That initial contact along with the praise you had indirectly provided him replayed in his head for days to come. He battled with keeping true to his mother's mission while feeding into his temptation to seek you out. Traveling to the book store at least once a day to see you which he did most times than not.
You both had gotten comfortable enough with each other till the point you started considering each other friends.
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#`joshua colley#monty the crow#monty the crow x reader#dead boy detectives#dbd x reader#Spotify#monty finch#monty finch x reader
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