#I could answer shortly and specifically but no I just have to go extra every time and write a whole essay

[devildomwriter]

Reacting to Your First Sonogram | Barbatos x Reader

Being forbidden by his master, lord Diavolo, to look into the future he’d been a little surprised when you announced to him your pregnancy. Still he was only a little surprised, not only had he been bedding you multiple times a day, cumming in you every time, but he also recognized the early signs of pregnancy even before you had.

He was so concerned and curious how this pregnancy would go that he’d asked Diavolo to look into the future but Diavolo had told him that would ruin the fun of it.

So instead Barbatos was quick to research everything necessary and book you as many appointments as possible. He also scheduled as much free time as he could to give you relaxing spa days and all the special treatment the mother of his child deserved.

Now you were in the waiting room of an esteemed human world doctor with devildom affiliations who’d made time for the two of you in their busy schedule.

You leaned on Barbatos’s shoulder as he flipped through a pregnancy magazine. He’d already flipped through magazines advertising baby products and baby clothes and a magazine specific to motherhood opinions such as bottles vs breasts. Barbatos’s answer to the argument was that fed was best and you agreed, trying not to think about breastfeeding or any other challenges that may come up since you weren’t even two months pregnant.

Barbatos finished with the magazine and seeing as there weren’t anymore he handed it to you smiling, hoping it’d interest you.

It didn’t but you flipped through it anyway as you remained waiting for the doctor that Barbatos of all people sought out.

Barbatos held your hand tightly as he surveyed the waiting room for the millionth time, reassessing danger each time someone so much as flinched. He was extra protective now that he was protecting two people in one—his partner and his first child.

A nurse who looked like he’d been running around all day called out the fake name Barbatos had given.

The doctor had the real information, including who Barbatos really was, but no one else. The nurse held the door open for you and you and Barbatos made your way into the hall.

Barbatos stood on your “most vulnerable” side and had his arm wrapped around you for support and protection.

Another nurse stood outside the door to your room and gestured for you to walk in.

This nurse, a younger woman, had the room fully prepared including two glasses of water and a large tv on in the corner in case there was a wait.

Barbatos locked the door and stood in front of it just in case as you changed into the long robe. It didn’t seem like a standard hospital gown, in fact it had your initials inscribed.

“Umm, Barbatos how far did you go with all this?”

“Hm? Not far at all. I simply told the doctor when we’d be coming and to have everything ready my partner could possibly need.”

“So you scheduled this on your time?”

“Correct.”

“Okay.” So the doctor hadn’t squeezed you into the schedule, a powerful demon had told him he’d be showing up and the doctor just had to deal with that.

The doctor arrived shortly after Barbatos unlocked the door and you had rested your head on the pillow of the exam bed.

Barbatos put a second pillow under your knees to help prop you up nicely and the doctor, a nervous looking man, tried hard not to fumble through his questions, confirming everything Barbatos and you had filled out on the medical information sheet.

Barbatos smiled and nodded politely to everything but the doctor seemed more panicked by Barbatos’s lack of words.

“Okay, so what I’m going to do now is apply this gel to your stomach—“

“Allow me,” Barbatos said reaching out his hand with a ‘grin’.

The doctor obliged though he knew he wasn’t supposed to.

Barbatos put on a pair of plastic gloves and applied the gel to your stomach. You squeaked in surprise at the cold and he chuckled.

Seeing Barbatos’s light hearted reaction the doctor eased up a little bit.

The doctor fiddled with the monitor and sensing Barbatos’s intentions, instructed Barbatos on how he should handle the transducer.

Barbatos nodded approvingly and the doctor stepped back as Barbatos ran the transducer carefully over your gelled stomach until something caught his eye.

“Is that—“ his breath caught in his throat and the doctor grinned and nodded. He approached the monitor and pointed to the heartbeat Barbatos focused in on.

Barbatos immediately looked to you and smiled. He seemed a mix of grateful, approving, and relieved.

Just as you were about to become a mother, he too, a demon as old as time was about to experience something new—something that hadn’t happened in all his millennia.

He held your hand and allowed the doctor to hold the transducer as he scooted close to you at the end of the bed. He rested his head against your chest listening to your heartbeat as you both watched your child’s fast beating heart on screen.

[eunchancorner]

Revenged and Rescued (Part 16)

It's election day. I'm terrified. My mom never votes and she just voted so that about tells you how bad shit is at home

Anyway have an extra long fic

-

Hello, Hubert

As you can see, I have taken your precious little injured civilian. In exchange for his safe return, I demand that you turn over my prisoner immediately. I will give you a 24 hour grace period to deliver Henry to me. After that, every hour I have to wait will be another body part your precious ‘Dave’ loses. Understand that this is not a negotiation. I will not be taking no for an answer now, Hubert.

You know where to find me.

-Dmitri Petrov

Henry remembered every word of that letter. He remembered how Rupert insisted on finding and killing Dmitri himself, how Galeforce had made the tough decision to force him to stay out of this one. He remembered how guilty he felt. How guilty he still felt. It was his fault that Petrov had Dave now, even if no one else wanted to hear that.

He remembered insisting he should be the one to save him. He remembered Charles insisting that if he did go, he wasn’t going alone. He remembered the entire squad deciding to come with, and how they loaded up two helicopters to get ready. He remembered Rupert handing him his M16, insisting that if they killed Dmitri with anything, it should at least be his gun. He remembered those last words Rupert said to him before they left.

“I don’t like owing people shit, Stickmin, but if you bring Dave back, I will owe you big time… so please… just bring him back safely…”

That was the second time he’d seen Rupert cry.

But this time, he’d make sure it’d be the last.

That brought him to where he was now; sitting in Charles’s copter, watching out the window as darkness and snow were the only things to be seen for miles. He never imagined he’d see this place again, much less go back there willingly, but he had to. This was his fault, he had to make it right.

Eventually, the helicopters landed on an outcropping on a mountain, a few miles away from the Wall. As Henry stepped out, he took in the sight of his old prison, looking so small and inconspicuous with the lower levels hidden underground. He remembered the very few hours he spent here before calling for help.

He remembered his escape.

His betrayal.

No, focus on Dave. That’s the objective now, he reminded himself.

“Alright, I can patch into one of the cameras, but if I try to get into any more, Dmitri will know something’s up. Let’s see if we can figure out where he’s holding Dave,” Eel announced from where he sat in Quentin’s helicopter.

“Dmitri is nothing if not an organized prick. He wouldn’t hold a hostage where he holds the prisoners, nor in his office, and I doubt he wants to alert the guards to the fact that he kidnapped someone…” Andrew mumbled in thought.

“On top of the main building. That’s new, it wasn’t here when I was,” Henry pointed to a small building on top of the prison, new and cleaner than the rest. “It looks like a newer building. Do you think he might have set it up specifically for Dave?”

“It looks like there’s an unnamed camera here, so let’s see,” Eel decided, shortly before the feed appeared on his screen. Inside of the building was a mess; it seemed to be disguised as a storage facility, with an overturned table and a couple of filing cabinets. There were two doors; one led outside, one that probably led to a stairwell farther down. In the center, Dmitri was towering over Dave, who was bound in a chair, gagged, but still looking up at him like he could overtake the warden at any time. If it wasn’t so worrying, Henry would have been proud of his apparent confidence. In the corner, Grigori seemed to be standing guard, as if making absolutely sure Dave didn’t move.

“Alright, good, now we need to figure out a safe way to get down there. Henry, can you go scout ahead, make sure we can get in close enough for a safe landing?” he asked, and as Henry nodded and prepared to take off on his own, he felt Charles grab his arm. He looked at the pilot, their eyes meeting.

“Be careful,” was all he said, and Henry nodded, before launching and flying closer. He got about a mile away from the prison before he could see trouble.

“Problem; there’s guards all over the place, and a lot of them seem to have RPG launchers. We’re gonna have an issue bringing any choppers in with those guys around,” he said into the radio in his chest, and after a few seconds, Eel answered.

“See what you can do on your own, if you come up with a plan, tell us immediately.”

Henry took a deep breath and focused on his arm, seeing if he had anything to take enemies out quickly but quietly. It shifted into a dart gun, with a small screen displaying the number 5, which Henry could only guess was how many shots he had.

He quickly reassessed the situation and a plan formed in his mind, so he relayed it to the others.

“I’ve got a dart gun with five shots. Five of these guys have the RPG launchers, but the last one has a rifle. Madd, if I hit the heavy fire guys, can you get the rifleman by the door?”

“Affirmative,” the sniper replied.

“Alright, I’ll count it down for you… Five.”

He fired a dart with a small thwump, and down went one of the guards.

“Four…”

Thwump

Another guard down.

“Three…”

Thwump

Three down. That was the roof cleared.

“Two…”

Thwump

There went the one on the stairs.

“One!”

Thwump

One door guard went down, followed by the second almost instantly.

“Nice work, Madd. Looks like the guards won’t be an issue anymore.”

“Great news, Henry, now come back so we can move along with the plan,” Eel told him, and for a moment, Henry was going to. But then he remembered.

He was so close. This was his fault. This was his battle. He had to fight it.

“Change of plans, I’m heading in.”

“What?! No, Henry, you can’t!” he heard Charles’s alarmed reply over his radio.

“This is my fault, I have to be the one to make it right. I’m going to take down Dmitri and get Dave myself.”

“Henry, as much as we all love a hero, this is a really bad time. If you’re going to try to take down Petrov, then we’re coming with you,” Eel insisted, and Henry groaned.

“Fine, then let’s do this; I’ll go in and distract Dmitri and Grigori. Quentin, we’ll need you to fly Charles, the Bukowskis and Madd into position. When they’re safely on the roof, send a sound signal over my radio. When I give the signal, Charles, Konrad, Calvin and Madd will rush in and open fire. I’ll focus on getting Dave to safety. With any luck we kill Dmitri and Grigori, but we mainly just need suppressing fire so they’re too distracted to try to recapture me or Dave. The rest of you can hold everything down on the clearing, set up to transport Dave back home. That sound good to you guys?”

After a few beats of silence, Charles’s voice came back over the radio.

“Quentin wants to know why he has to be the getaway pilot instead of me.”

Henry groaned.

“Because, Charles, you’re supposed to be my personal bodyguard. And well, because I want you in the action with me.”

“I was hoping you’d say that. We’ll get ready and head on over. Don’t get killed, okay?”

“Roger that.”

With that, Henry flew in closer to the prison, landing carefully on the roof. As he strided to the new structure’s door, his gaze was drawn to the bodies of the guards, and he felt the guilt inside of him grow. More lives lost for his gain. Hopefully he wouldn’t have to keep doing this…

With a deep breath, he opened the door and stepped in, letting it slam shut behind him. Dmitri turned almost immediately, a smug smile on his face.

“Ah, Henry, long time no see,” he greeted with feigned hospitality, “Tell me, how has life been on the outside?”

“Pretty rough, thanks to the augmentations I had to get after what happened at your prison,” he growled, earning little more than an annoyed look.

“You mean the injuries you sustained while escaping my prison. But at least you made Grigori’s job easier; now he knows what actually went down on the airship that day. Maiming the leader’s husband and then taking over, I had no idea you were so ruthless!” the warden sneered.

“Yes, I maimed him, and not a day goes by that I don’t think about what I did to that man. I feel like a piece of shit, are you happy now?”

“Oh, Henry,” Petrov chuckled, “You know I will not be happy until you are in a cell, where you belong. Now, come with me, perhaps we can negotiate for you to have a nice view of the ocean.”

“Release Dave first,” Henry demanded, crossing his arms, moments before his chestplate beeped.

They’re ready.

“Now, why would I do that?” Dmitri asked, crossing his arms right back.

“Because you’re a man of your word, right? Release Dave, a civilian who’s done absolutely nothing, and you get me, the convict you’re after. Fair?”

“Hm… Alright. Grigori, release the hostage,” he ordered the other man, who nodded and began cutting the ropes that held Dave down. As soon as he was unbound, he hobbled into Henry’s arms, holding onto him for support.

“Henry! I knew someone would come! I knew it would be different this time! Why are you alone? Where’s Rupert? Is Charles here, too?” the man questioned, his eyes darting between Henry and the door.

“Everything’s fine, just listen very closely. When I say ‘Now’, let me pull you down, okay?” he whispered to the other, and he nodded, though he was clearly confused.

“Well, Henry, anything you’d like to say as a free man, while you still can?” Dmitri questioned with a smirk, and Henry took a deep breath.

“Just one word, Dmitri…”

“Spit it out then, I’m anxious to get you into a cell.”

Henry was silent for a single moment, before yelling out.

“NOW!”

He pulled Dave down with him as the door flew open, Charles leading the way as he opened fire on the two men inside. He managed to get him behind the table, hearing bullets hit it for a few moments before it sounded relatively safe. He managed to peer up, seeing that Charles, Calvin and Konrad had spread out on one wall behind a filing cabinet, Dmitri and Grigori huddled up behind the other, both groups firing at one another. Madd managed to slip down to where Henry and Dave were, grabbing the injured civilian and pulling him out the door as fast as he could.

Dmitri suddenly darted for the door to the stairwell, drawing Charles’s fire, which gave Grigori an opening.

“FUCK, MY HAND!” the pilot shouted as Grigori managed to nail his hand, dropping Rupert’s M16 and pulling a pistol from a holster on his hip, firing back at the man and hitting his leg.

“SHIT!!” the man shouted as he fell to the ground, trying to get to the door before his boss slammed it.

“Your sacrifice won’t be forgotten!” Dmitri promised before he disappeared behind the window, leaving his second-in-command to the mercy of the soldiers. As the Bukowski twins fled out the door, Henry saw Charles approaching him, pistol tight in his grip. He saw the fear in Grigori’s eyes as though he was watching the Reaper itself draw closer.

“Charles! We got what we came for, let’s go!” Henry tried to tell him, but the pilot didn’t respond, raising his gun to the grunt’s forehead.

“CHARLES! NO MORE!” Henry shouted, and finally the pilot conceded, lowering his weapon.

“Tell your boss to stay the hell away from Henry…” Charles growled before running back out, holstering his weapon and grabbing onto the ladder Quentin had lowered. Henry took off with his own wings, and together they flew back to the outcropping, where Mac, Phlex, Eel and Andrew were waiting for them.

~

“RUPERT!”

“DAVE!”

As soon as the pair of helicopters landed, Rupert was the first to rush up to them, pulling Dave into his arms and holding him close. As Henry stepped out, he watched them with a smile, before walking over.

“Sorry, we, uh, kinda lost your gun during the whole…” he didn’t want to mention the shootout, worried he’d just upset Rupert. “Incident.”

“Stickmin, you could’ve lost a whole bomber jet, it’d still be worth it as long as I got Dave back…” the lieutenant assured him, his head still on Dave’s shoulder as he lifted the man, preparing to carry him back to medical.

Henry chuckled quietly, “If you’re so sure. Me and Charles are gonna head down to medical with you guys. I might need a more thorough checkup after that, and Charles got injured while we were rescuing him. Wanna walk together?”

“Fine by me, c’mon. I wanna get him back to comfort as soon as possible,” the ravenette told them as he began walking, and Charles and Henry followed after him, chatting along the way about how Henry and Charles were suddenly together, even making plans for a double date.

As they arrived, Henry warned Charles not to be too loud about the details of what happened, in case Rupert got upset about the risk Dave had been exposed to. The pilot nodded as he sat on a free cot, one of the nurses coming up to examine his injured hand.

After what felt like hours of boredom, the pair were cleared to leave, and met back up with the others at the bonfire. 

“How’s the hand, Charlie?” Andrew asked as they sat, motioning to the pilot’s hand.

“It’ll be fine. Turns out he only grazed it, so I guess I overreacted…” he admitted. “But in my defense, I didn’t have enough time to check the damage. And, well, I was also very angry. But, I do admit, I don’t have an excuse for losing Rupert’s gun, so that kinda sucks, y’know.”

Beside him, Konrad groaned. “I’m surprised we didn’t get hit, considering we mag-dumped a couple of M16’s and hit nothing but concrete,” he grumbled, head in hands. “Fucking hangover, man…”

“Don’t blame your bad aim on the hangover,” Madd scolded them, “Blame it on cutting your own target practice short the moment you two hear that Henry can do something new and cool.”

The twins were silent for a moment before Calvin spoke up.

“Okay first of all, fuck you, and second, you say that like you fired a single shot in that room. And don’t say you sniped the dude by the door, okay? He wasn’t in the room, it wasn’t close-quarters combat, it doesn’t fucking count.”

“Bitch, I got Dave out of there, meanwhile you wasted bullets trying to shoot two fucken idiots!”

“Hey, Petrov might be a lot of things, but he’s not an idiot, okay? He’s smart, he’s sneaky, and I just wanted to shoot the dude that made me go out while I had a massive fucking migraine, okay?!”

“Then shoot Henry, it was his fucking idea!”

“YOU BETTER FUCKING NOT-” Charles butt in, tensing up as though ready to leap on either of them.

“I’m not, I’m not, and it was Dmitri’s fault! His stupid grudge, his stupid prison, his stupid hostage situation, his fucking fault, got it?!” Calvin counted out on his fingers as he yelled.

“Oh my god, would everyone just chill the fuck out!” Andrew finally cut in, covering his face with a groan as silence fell on the group. “Look. We’re tired, we’re in pain, it’s late, we’ve been gone for god knows how long, let’s just all go to bed, okay? God, you people are professionals at screaming, I swear…”

With a sigh, Quentin spoke up.

“He’s right. We’re all tired and agitated, so let’s just go to bed. We can worry about everything else in the morning. I’ll handle the fire. Goodnight, guys.”

And with that, the others all stood and headed off to their tents. As Henry and Charles entered theirs, the pilot spoke up.

“Hey, are you okay?”

“I’m not the one who got shot,” Henry replied with a tired chuckle, but his facade quickly faded. “Do… Do you think this was my fault, too? Like Madd does?”

“What? No, of course not. It’s Petrov’s fault for being a petty jerk who managed to bribe someone into revealing where you are,” Charles assured him, taking Henry’s hands in his and sitting with him on one of the cots.

“Are you sure…? It’s just… A lot of stuff happened today that wouldn’t have happened if you’d just left me in the jungle, y’know? Dave got kidnapped again, everyone’s tired and angry, you’re hurt, six probably innocent guys died… I feel like I’m bringing more destruction than I’m worth…”

“That stuff also wouldn’t have happened if Petrov wasn’t a petty asshole,” Charles offered, earning a small chuckle from Henry.

“I guess… still, I feel like I’m hurting more people than I’m helping…”

“Well… sometimes that’s just how things have to be. Fighting for our own freedom comes with a lot of costs, and we have to live with those… and sometimes, it feels like you don’t want to be free if you have to keep hurting people to get it… I’ve lived that truth for a long time… But you have to remember that if people don’t want you to be free, and you can’t negotiate with them, then the best-case scenario is going to end with someone hurt. And we can’t change that, because sometimes people are shitty. In a perfect world, none of this would ever have to happen, but that world doesn’t exist, so we keep fighting. And I’ll keep fighting along with you. You got that?” he finally asked, pressing his forehead to Henry’s.

For a few moments, Henry wanted to argue. He wanted to say that his freedom wasn’t worth it. He wanted to argue that for everything he’s done, he deserved detainment. But being close with Charles like this, it just made him glad he was free to be there with him.

“Yeah, I got it…” he finally relented with a smile. He let Charles kiss him softly, relaxing into him before he pulled away.

“Good. Now let’s get to bed, okay? We’ve done enough thinking for today,” the pilot suggested, and Henry nodded, snuggling up with him underneath the thin blanket as they laid together. Finally able to relax.

[bigenderteruki]

8 ball for all of them

🎱 8 Ball- What situation was your OC lucky to escape from or get out of? What or who helped them unexpectedly?

Ok im going to assume you mean every1 i tagged instead of every oc i have bc otherwise ill be here all day but ok lets go

Shiori and Riza - answering these two together bc they kind of helped each other. BASICALLY near the end shio's flop era [redacted] did some typical [redacted] shit and Shio had enough and was like THIS IS THE LAST STRAW I HATE YOU I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN and [redacted] was like "ok💔" and left for realzies and Shio was like "wait no i didnt mean it come back :[["

MEANWHILE riza is in her last year of grade school and tsubomi has kind of adopted her into her friend group. Riza feels like the only reason shes there is cuz mob isnt really talking to anyone anymore so shes basically just taking his place :[ all this happens while her parents are getting a divorce

So the "escape" isnt really literal in this situation, its more they kinda helped each other not be so miserable? Shio was like "hey kid you don't have to stay in a friendgroup you aren't vibing with you can do whatever you want forever" and riza was "hey you aren't actually an idiot and if you studyed you could probably get into a good high school" so they both took each others advice and now they both slightly less sad 👍

(That was a big ramble but their relationship is important to me. I lov them)

Nemu - im going to be real i dont think nemu has ever escaped anything in her life. 95% of her time is spent dealing with consequences of her own actions. Youd think hypnosis powers would help but theyre actually like the cause of most of her problems

Mie - mie has a lot of near misses and i think that just comes w the territory of being a "magical girl" in this universe specifically but i think if you asked her directly she'd say something like "once i bought ice cream but i was 10 yen short but shio-kun gave me an extra coin so it was all good"

Millie - yeah it would be the lab factory thingy she was made in. Escaped after her dad died and she had no reason to stick around anymore. Tux was a big help bc he was good at impersonating guards over the intercom so they were able to escape w minimal fuss

Momotarou - momo is similar to nemu in that hes not really escaped anything ever. Dude is literally trapped in his own house

Doris - left the domes shortly after splat2. Actually left alongside paul from sashimori. They dont see each other as much nowadays cuz they're both traveling a lot but they still call each other every so often. Shortly after leaving they actually stayed a bit w doris' uncle who had also defected years prior

[danhoemei]

hi! hope you’re doing well! thank you for sharing amazing art and for supporting creators the way you do! if you don’t mind me asking, I was wondering who’s your favorite character in shl 🧐 I’m very curious!

hello! I am doing well and I hope you do as well 💚 and akjvbelfknbejkbv thank you for your kind words, I really appreciate 💚💚💚🥺 I’m happy you enjoy 😊

I’ve been very busy these past few days, which is also why I’m much less active, and this ask has been sitting in my inbox, so sorry about that! But if I knew who’s my favourite I could answer simply and quickly, right? Welllll, such a simple question and it made the gears in my mind spin so much, somehow I had never thought of who was my favourite before. And you know what? I just had no clue.

Then it hit me how it resonated with my recent thoughts on art in general... which I put on another post because I started writing here and it just got so big and off topic xddd But in short, my problem was that you can like characters for so many diverse reasons that it’s sometimes truly hard to compare and make a ranking.

Firstly, a disclaimer, that I *cough* still haven’t watched the drama *cough* (I’m really gonna watch it I swear I’m just not good at watching stuff alone and I’m still dwelling on my novel impression which I use in my writing skjdnvkjbfvker I can’t let go help). I’m very curious about some characters which were given a whole new life in the drama or were non existent in the novel, especially all the incredible ladies or scorpion king. But for now I have to answer for the novel xd

So I had a problem because I love so many characters. Wen Kexing is literally one of my fav tropes for love interests. Smart and witty, sneaky and with much power hidden underneath, literally unhinged, but at the same time can goof around and loves to tease their love interest, starving for affection and ready to give a lot of it themselves, and after they obtain it they get possessive and ready to do hella lot to keep it. I have a lot of fun with such characters and I'm a simp for them, so wen kexing just hit so many sweet spots.

Ye baiyi started off as just a comic relief for me, but he kept growing in my eyes until he climbed up so high. I love his bluntness and how done he is with everything, so free and uncaring. Which kind of stems from his painful backstory, but also shows how strong mentally he is that he managed to bear so much and keep on living like he did. I respect him tremendously, as well as lowkey relate to being done and not caring for some things (which I previously was very anxious about but now could not care less).

Gu xiang and cao weining didn't leave the best impressions at first, but they bloomed in my eyes and I care for them so deeply now 🥺 

I don't know much about jing beiyuan and wu xi because qi ye is also still on my ‘to read’ list, but even just these few bits in tyk made me already very interested and warmed up for these two.

But after all the scattered thinking in these past days, I somehow finally circled back to zhou zishu. And I understood that as much as I love all these characters for so many different reasons, I think zzs wins in one pretty personal to me aspect - how I relate to a certain trait of his, and that every time a character like that appears I go feral for them. It was like that for liu qingge, for jiang cheng, even for shen jiu. It's the characters that have troubles putting their emotions and desires into words and actions, but at the same time they have much affection and care inside.

I like zzs for many things. His reluctant care for chengling and even more reluctant opening up to wkx make me all soft, I enjoy (and feel personally) his carefree attitude and bluntness, I respect his quick thinking, skills, and witty remarks. But what makes me care very deeply for characters like him is how they just can’t seem to easily and openly show their feelings or care. They often snap, brush off, or hide whenever it spills, as if they can’t handle it, don’t know how to react, or because it destroys the image they try to uphold. But you can still see signs of it in their actions, when they help someone, make something for them, heal them, give them tips, rescue them if they’re in trouble. Or show their vulnerability in a moment of weakness, in the presence of someone they trust. Goddamn I go feral for that. Also I have much satisfaction when that image or defenses get brought down ajkfnklsdgnvl

And it all stems from the fact that, as much as it may sound ridiculous with all my openness and excitement that you see here, I have terrible troubles in this area as well xdd I am a good actor and observer who knows what to avoid, so if I don’t want someone to know something, they won’t. And I am painfully awkward and absolutely an idiot when it comes to anything romantic or intimate. So combining these two aspects ends up with me suffering in silence and living delusions in my head, while the other person I have feelings for is absolutely oblivious or even thinks that I don’t like them because of all my freezing and changing the subject whenever it gets in any way intimate or emotional xd I am an epitome of awkwardness and avoidance in this, constantly running away when I can’t handle feelings or don’t know how to react xd

So yeah, such characters resonate with me a lot and I self-project on zzs a lot in my writing. Now u know my secret lmao

[keigelsss]

A Super Sweet Secret - Gojo Satoru

Merry late Christmas ya filthy animals ;)

Mega thirst moment based on this post and I think it just fits this fucker so well. I wrote part of this at 3am and I hate it so much ... fellow Gojo fuckers come get ya food.

Warnings: 18+, my shitty writing, language, mentions of alcohol, Gojo using infinity (had to do it on em), smut, DIRTY TALK, fingering, oral *fem receiving, overstim, squirting, uh… the pet names are super self-indulgent too oops, literally every grammatical error you can think of (please let me know if I missed any warnings I don’t wanna upset anyone or make anyone uncomfy. That being said minors pls DNI!! I don't feel like blocking anyone today)

Word count: 2.25k (i do be getting carried away)

How do you go about explaining your current situation to the higher-ups if you get caught with him? Do you tell them that, instead of getting pointers on how to guide students down the right path, you’ve been indulging in some very explicit acts with the man who is supposed to show you the ropes? No. That’s not right either but in all honesty, it would have been a lost cause from the get-go. Gojo Satoru is the least traditional in his teaching methods and is without a doubt a troublemaker but his antics are a part of what makes him so charming. It’s that same charm that finally made you cave and accept a coffee date with him on the next day you both had off. 

You don’t know exactly when it happened but little by little those morning coffee dates turned into mid-day snack runs, then dinner and overindulging in desserts at the other’s house. Everything took an unexpected turn when you went a bit overboard on the sake one night. The next morning you woke up naked on your couch, the sun in your face, a pounding headache and a large man clinging to your body like a koala. As much as you wanted to maintain a professional relationship between the two of you, it was so hard to not crave another taste of him. He couldn’t resist you either, one bite and he kept coming back for more. 

You two are definitely going to get into some serious trouble for this.

After stressful days of exorcising curses Gojo likes to unwind with a sweet treat from his local bakery and you by his side. He’ll find it ridiculously adorable if you have a bigger sweet tooth than he does. On the walk back to his house, you both snag a pastry from the bag of goodies and laugh at the other for not being able to wait until you reached your destination. The two of you arrive shortly after but Gojo decided he wasn’t entirely satisfied...

“Hey, sugar?” he asked while removing his sunglasses, his eyes entirely focused on your movements. You started to place what was left of the little cakes in a dish that was used specifically for the sweet treats of the day, he quickly recalled how you made fun of him for the fancy crystal platter but he admitted to being a bit extra like that. “What’s up trouble?” He let out a soft chuckle and got closer, wrapping his arms around your shoulders leaning down to rest his chin on top of your head. “Trouble? That couldn’t be me.” you placed the cover back on the platter and put your hands on his arms settling back into him slightly. “You only call me ‘sugar’ when you want something from me, so what is it?” 

Now that was true, he had a list of pet names for you that he liked to pull out for certain occasions and you caught onto that quickly. It’s really not fair at all how he can make innocent words sound so damn sinful when he wanted to tease you. You turned to face him now, his hands resting on either side of you. He leans down and places a feather-soft kiss on your lips, so soft it’s almost like he’s not making full contact with you.

“I thought we didn't do those things when it was just us together like this?” Your eyes fluttered open and he came back in for a real kiss, his hot tongue lingering lazily on your bottom lip but not enough to excite you. He does that on purpose. “I know but it’s just the thought of it, I can tell you're thinking about it too.” He reached for the dessert dish and picked up a small cream filled pastry, he took a bite and offered you the other half. You knew it wasn’t an accident when he got the filling on your lip and chin. He used his thumb to clean up the mess he made then licked it clean, he is actually evil but even if you do hate him sometimes you can’t find it in you to resist him. 

“C’mon Y/n, don't you think it would be interesting to try while I go down on you? Just a little bit?” You bit your lip at the thought and he was already excited for your answer. He was right, the idea of him between your legs, devouring you but not quite. Being able to feel everything between the two of you but not making an actual connection. it ignited a small fire within you. 

“We can try it once but I can’t promise that I'll like it.” 

Truthfully that was all he needed to hear before he began to strip you of your clothes, leaving you completely naked. His large hands began exploring your body, grabbing onto any dip and curve he can find while placing sloppy kisses on your neck. He used both hands to get a firm grip of your ass, lifting you onto the cold marble countertop, you let a small moan escape you at the feeling and he placed a wet kiss on your lips. Tugging on the fabric of his long sleeve you brought it up and off revealing his defined upper body, you could drool if you didn't have some self control. “Satoru not too much okay? It’ll drive me crazy when all I want is to feel you.” The whimper that fell from your pretty mouth was almost enough to make Gojo cum in his pants, you swore you saw hearts glowing in his bright blue eyes. “Don't worry princess only a little bit. Besides you know my sweet girl always gets what she wants.” 

If there was anything that came close to what you picture heaven was like, it would definitely be the equivalent to Gojo’s strong, slender fingers expertly rubbing your folds. He always found every sweet spot and applied the perfect amount of pressure without you having to say a word. 

“Baby, did I make you this wet?” He used his thumb to spread your slick around, creating a delightful rhythm on your clit. Hips trembling when he grazed that one spot that practically had you gushing for him.

“Yes! It was yo- oh fuck that feels so good!” you leaned forward, resting your head on his chest, admiring the way his fingers looked so mesmerizing covered in the pretty shine of your juices. “You know you're the sweetest thing ever right? So damn delicious. I can spend hours between these sexy thighs of yours.” His breath is hot on the tip of your ear and that smooth voice sends shockwaves throughout your entire body. His free hand wrapped around your thigh and gripped below your knee, shifting the angle at which his fingers were exploring your overly sensitive hole. 

“Are you gonna let me make you cum with my mouth? Let me taste how sweet you are?” his lips started to trail the sides of your neck down to your chest. He left a series of kisses on each breast, sucking lightly on your stiff and sensitive nipples. “Ah Satoru please! I want- Ooh want your tongue.”  He licked a stripe across your tummy then placed a soft kiss on your belly button, he moved your thighs once more and found a position comfortable for the two of you. Your legs resting nicely on his shoulders while he rubbed circles on your hips and waist. “Look at this gorgeous pussy,” a soft kiss on your inner thigh. “So pretty.” another kiss on your swollen clit, you couldn't help but arch your back off the counter, grabbing a handful of his soft hair. He nibbled on your thigh and a sharp whine fell from you. “Remember to behave sweetheart, I'm supposed to be going easy on you.” His chuckle vibrated against your hot mound and you let out a sigh, releasing some tension from your hands on his head, allowing him to do what he wanted with your body. 

Gojo’s tongue seemed to have a mind of its own, curling and sucking at the special spot that only he knew about with perfect accuracy. The buzzing sensation that you normally felt when he's down there was reduced to an incomplete static, like your nerves weren’t fully receiving the information of his movements. Now that? That was different. It really was infinity… a barrier he controlled entirely, the rolling of his tongue feeling more like a whisper of pleasure that was everything and nothing at the same time. You were right to think it would drive you crazy but in the most euphoric way possible. “Oh my god it feels s-so good! P-please don’t stop baby I’m so fucking close.” 

The large kitchen was filled with desperate sounds of pleasure and the soft squelching of Gojo’s fingers inside your quivering cunt. This feeling was new but you were instantly hooked. It didn't take long for you to fall over that glorious edge with a broken moan of his name and a string of curses, making little to no sense at all. A deep groan erupts from his chest as he takes in every drop of your release in satisfaction. His gaze found your blissed out expression and he decided to ease up on that invisible veil between you, fingers slipping from your tight whole. You clenched around nothing and the loss of his fingers filling you was enough to nearly make you cry. 

“That‘s my favorite flavor right there sweetheart.” he spent some time admiring the way you looked coming down from your high. The rise and fall of your breasts with every breath paired alongside the slight shaking in your limbs from how intense the orgasm was. You're a work of art to him, truly, especially like this. Opening your eyes you find his stupid gorgeous face resting on your thigh, licking his lips simply enjoying your taste. You ran your fingers through his hair one more time before softly squishing his face with your legs, letting out a breathless giggle while regaining some grasp on reality. “I w-want more, but let me feel all of you for fucks sake!” 

He instantly obliged, diving right back in, using only his tongue, setting a languid pace. His animalistic groans against your over sensitive pussy were a telling sign that he was enjoying himself, probably ridiculously hard in the confines of his jeans. The thought of his cock deep inside of you was enough to get you shamelessly turned on all over again. If it weren't for his hands on your hips, rubbing easing circles into your soft skin, you would be a convulsing mess on the hard marble beneath you. A dull ache was beginning to form in your lower back, but you could care less. Gojo's tongue was working wonders on that delectable bundle of nerves of yours. His hands started trailing upwards and fondling your breasts, your spine arching under his touch as he pinched your nipples. You both made eye contact and he could tell that you were close to another release, your entire body was starting to shake. “Ye-yeah baby I’m gonna f-fucking cum.” his tongue never relenting on you. You were on the verge of screaming, your thighs were probably strangling him at this point.

“Mhm my little honeypot. Are you gonna make a mess?” he growled delicately against you.

That was also new but holy shit it had your brain short circuiting. Honeypot?! Damn you really could make a mess and that was exactly what you did. His relentless attack on your clit was blinding but so fucking delicious you didn't want it to end. You squirted all over his face, covering his neck and chest with a stream of your juices. The added stimulation of his abilities, and the shock of this new pet name clearly having an impact on your intense orgasm. it could possibly be the best you've experienced. He was aware of that fact as well. “I love when you do that.” honestly you did too. The aftershock of it all had you both mesmerized, your body just a quaking mess, panting and moaning. You struggled a bit to get air back into your lungs but Gojo's hands squeezed on your waist reassuringly. Your hips were beginning to relax and he once again found a place to momentarily rest his head on your thighs. 

He huffed a small howl of amusement. You could instantly tell what he was so giddy about. “So? Honeypot?” you questioned him, not in a judging manner but out of curiosity and excitement. “It kind of just came out of me in the moment.” You couldn't help but laugh at his answer, a fitting response. You took a second to relish in the sight of your cum and his sweat tracing his brow. It will forever remain a mystery on how you managed to get so addicted to the world’s biggest pain in the ass, but here you were. 

That evil little smirk made another appearance on his face while he brought himself up to  kiss you, the taste of yourself was very much present on his tongue and soft lips, you screeched in excitement. He swiftly lifted you off the counter and began his trek towards his bedroom. 

“Are you maybe just a bit more curious on what else I can do to that pretty body of yours?”

yeah this is trash uh if you read this sorry for the lack of seasoning in your food

tags: @bobabybo @ibukiirisha

[chelleztjs18]

Lost in Assistance - Ch. 6

GIF: I do not own this GIF.

Summary: Y/n is a professional celebrity's personal assistant in Hollywood got hired with two years contract to be the assistant of the famous and talented Elizabeth Olsen / Lizzie by her manager. Both Y/n and Lizzie hate each other since day one, and they have mutual friend. One is as stubborn as the other, will Y/n stay when Lizzie gives attitudes and tries her best to make her quit before the contract ends?

Warning: fluff, angst, smut (in future chapters), swearing words ( +18 only)

All chapters

You are forced to wake up in a sudden by your alarm blaring. You squint your eyes, try to find your glasses or your phone to turn off that annoyance of the sounds of your alarm. You finally turned it off and put on your glasses then checked out the time. You forgot that you have to wake up earlier than you planned before Lizzie’s text yesterday. Once you see the time is 5 AM, you regretted that you stayed up late last night.

You groaned as you got out of the bed. Last night you decided to wake up at 5 AM just so you can give yourself enough time to get ready, let alone you have to try to beat the traffic to go to the office even though it’s Friday you just don’t want to take that risk, not today. Last but not least, you have to get the coffee that Lizzie specifically requested.

You try to get ready faster than usual. You picked semi casual attire for today with a low ponytail and flat shoes. You grabbed your purse, your laptop and every other thing you need for work today. You walk out then go to your mom’s room to check if your mom is awake.

“Ma, are you awake yet? I’m gonna go to work okay? I’ll see you when I get home. Love you.” You half whispered hoping your mom can hear you but not loud enough to wake her up just in case she is still sleeping.

“Okay, good luck on your first day my dear.” Your mom replies in a sleepy tone.

You left for work but had to drop by at Starbucks near the office to get Lizzie’s large black coffee with half and half and two pumps of hazelnut syrup so it will still be hot when she gets it. That’s how she likes it and it’s one of a few list of coffee beverages she likes besides her precious seasonal pumpkin spice latte.

You finally arrived at the office at 6 AM sharp. The main building is already open due to some offices having early operation hours. You confidently go up to the office thinking it is already open as well or at least opened for Lizzie who is meeting you there but to your surprise the door is still locked and all the lights are still off. Puzzled with what’s going on, you pull out your phone and try to contact Lizzie to figure out where she is.

You try to call her but no answer. You wait for a few minutes in front of the office, then you try to call her again, which leads to the same result, no answer. Hoping that you will get an answer if you try to reach her in a different way, you decided to text her.

"Good morning Ms. Olsen, I'm here at the office. Are you on your way here by any chance? Thanks." You texted anxiously yet irritated. Fifteen minutes went by and still no words whatsoever from her. You decided to go back to your car and wait there.

You hate waiting yet that’s the only thing you can do now. Luckily, you parked at one of the Vernon’s office reserved spots so it will be easy for you to spot Lizzie when she comes. You sighed with annoyance every time you checked your phone and found nothing from Lizzie. You watch the parking spots around you like a hawk to spot Lizzie but shortly you are betrayed by your body, your eyes slowly close and you fall asleep. All of a sudden you hear your phone ring, it’s Lizzie. You jolted to check the time to find it’s 8:05. “Sh*t! Sh*t! Sh*t!’ You cursed in your mind and answered the call.

”Hello. Ms. Olsen. I’m coming right up.” You explain right away while you gather your stuff to get going.  “Where are you?! You are late. I have been waiting here for 5 minutes.” Lizzie asked, pretending she was upset about waiting. Making you come two hours early and letting you wait was her plan. Little did you know, Lizzie actually saw you sleeping in the car when she parked. Of course she won’t let this situation go to waste so she decided to just go up to the office to make it look like you are late. 

You finally showed up with one hand holding your purse and your laptop, the other handing Lizzie her coffee. “Good morning. I’m so sorry. Here’s your coffee. I got here at-..” before you could finish your explanation she cuts you off. “Um, my coffee is not hot, Y/n. Why is it cold? I like hot coffee in the morning. You need to get me a new one on the way there. We gotta go now or we are gonna be late. Thanks to you.” She gave the coffee back to you and walked away.

Your jaw dropped. You are so flabbergasted and irritated at the same time with what just happened as you saw her walk away with no remorse whatsoever. 

“Aren’t you coming?” What Lizzie said snap you back to reality and you proceed to follow her to leave.

Lizzie decided to sit at the front passenger side with you driving. You drive in silence, still upset that you have to go to Starbucks to get her another hot coffee. You ordered hers and your usual coffee. You got both of your orders, you put yours in the cup holder and you hand her hers. “Ice coffee huh in the morning? Grande Espresso frappuccino, light ice double blended with extra shot in a venti cup. Just because you like cold coffee in the morning, it doesn’t mean other people like it too, you know?” She commented sarcastically.  “Ms. Olsen, I got there at 6 just like you wanted me to, I tried to call and text you but no answer. That’s why your coffee got cold. It has been sitting for two hours.” You broke your silence but are still trying to keep it cool.

“Oh yeah, I slept in, didn’t hear my alarm.” Lizzie answered nonchalantly.

“Are you kidd--” You said in your mind then you took a deep breath. Hearing how she answered you, it made you connect the dots and you know what she’s up to. You know it’s normal if she really slept in but this happened on the first day you work for her, coincidence much. 

“I see.” You said it sarcastically and nodded slightly. “What? What do you see?” You got her attention. “Oh nothing. You did it on purpose didn’t you? You are trying to give me a hard time working.” You calmly confront her. “I told you I slept in. It’s up to you how you gonna take my answer.” Another nonchalant answer came out from her. You chuckle sarcastically then pull over and turn your head to look at her. She looks back at you confused.

“Look, Ms. Olsen. I don’t sugar coat things so please hear me out, I know you don’t like me because I got hired as the assistant you thought you don’t need and I don’t fancy you either. What you did this morning is completely childish and to me, you really give yourself a bad name such as a brat. I’m just here doing my job. As professional as you are and as stubborn as you are, no matter what game you are playing now, I won’t quit because I’m not a quitter. So why don’t you just let me do my job until the contract ends?” You raise one of your eyebrows and give her an intimidating smile then you start to drive again to the location.

Despite the fact that Lizzie actually got caught off guard with what you just did and with everything you said, she refused to give in. In fact it just provoked her more and started to ramble angrily “I told you I slept in! Just so you know, I have my own reason why I don't need a new assistant! You know nothing about me! So don't you dare call me a brat! Don't get too cocky. I’m not a quitter either. I’ll win.” She replied and just like that, they soon got into an argument and everything turned into one competition between you two girls who have the same level of unyielding obduracy. Nonetheless, both of you are consumed by your own ego and anger. 

You scoffed. "Oh come on! We both know you did it on purpose! I'm not stupid! 2 plus 2 is 4! Why don't you want a new assistant anyway? It's not that bad!" You raised your tone a little.

"Why the hell do I have to tell you my reason?! It's a personal thing! You work for me, don't you remember that?! Being childish is way better than being cocky like you. Just because you are the best assistant that Mitchel has, doesn't mean you're better than anybody else! So if you are as professional as you said you are, why don't you just zip it and drive?!"

The driving is now filled with tension and awkward silence. You decide to turn on the music just to calm you down. Clair De Lune by Motez Remix plays. The tune is actually catchy enough to Lizzie’s ears, she never heard this song before so she secretly checked the title on y/n’s car screen. “I don’t like this, I want to listen to something else.” She lied just to push y/n’s button yet again. “My car, my choice of music.” Lizzie rolled her eyes to what you said.

Luckily the traffic wasn’t that bad, you both arrived at the location on time. Lizzie gets out of the car and slams the door as she is still upset with you.

The photoshoot session starts. Both of you only talk when it’s needed. Not a single eye contact happens between the two of you. After a few hours, it’s time for lunch. Lunch is already catered, you prepared a plate for her, place it on the table. You sit with the photographer and crews on another table near hers.

She sits and about to eat but was stopped by something she noticed on her plate. Something that she hates, onions.

“Umm, Y/n, I can’t eat this.” She pushed the plate away. “ And why is that?” curious why she said that, you go to take a look at her plate and notice what’s the problem. “Sorry, I didn’t notice there’s onions there.” You added.

“It’s okay, I wouldn’t mind eating it if there’s no onion in it. Since you are my assistant, I will let you do your job just like what you asked me to do earlier.” She said it sarcastically but in a low tone and gave you a smirk, knowing she just served you back your own words from the argument earlier.

You realized what she wants you to do, it won’t look good if the photographer and the crew see you argue with you since they didn’t hear what ridiculous “assistance” Lizzie just asked you to do for her so you just do what she asked you to half heartedly.

The rest of the session continues then you both go back to the office when it’s all done. The whole ride was awkward and silent from both of you with soft music playing in the background. Tension is in the air but that doesn’t stop both of you secretly exchanging glances to each other without you both knowing.

You both arrived at the office’s parking structure  just to separate to go home and move on with your day.

Ch. 7

[silversatoru]

birthdays don’t have to suck

fushiguro megumi x f!reader (elli)

synopsis: you get really sick on your birthday, but megumi makes sure that you still have a good day :))

t/w: fluff, reader is sick, vomiting, medicine (tylenol lol), some details pertain specifically to elli

wc: 2.2k

a/n: a small birthday present for the love of my life @megumifushi who never sleeps enough and is always sick,, i love u and i hope ur days not too bad <3

you stared into your dimly lit laptop, red eyes squinting at the black text that sped across the screen as your fingers scrambled against the keys. you weren’t even sure that what you were writing was comprehensible at this point, but your essay that was due tomorrow morning wasn’t gonna write itself. at this point it just needed to get done, concerns of quality were thrown out the window hours ago.

aside from the burning and stinging in your eyes, your entire body ached, and you were ridden with chills and goosebumps. seemed like a fever was coming on, but you didn’t have the time or capacity to care about that right now. you’d pop a few tylenol and crawl into bed in a couple hours, and everything would be better tomorrow.

what time was it anyway? it couldn’t possibly be that late yet, right? 

you glanced to the corner of the screen, eyes falling on a bright 3:56am that made your heart sink and your eyes widen. you had a terrible habit of losing track of time and staying up into ungodly hours of the night — a habit that your wonderful boyfriend was trying so terribly hard to break. 

you glanced to your left and took in his sleeping form, his lips parted ever so slightly as he took small breaths of air. he’d be disappointed and upset with you if he knew how horrid your sleep schedule had been lately, and he’d probably blame your chills and headaches on your lack of sleep as well — which in all fairness was probably pretty accurate. 

“i’ll just finish this up real quick and then i promise i’ll sleep, ‘kay gumi?” you spoke softly, running your fingers through his soft, spiky hair. 

he was undisturbable, his mind off somewhere in a dreamland that was quite the distance from your small bedroom. and that was probably for the better, because him nagging at you to go to sleep would be too distracting for you to get your work done. 

your hands moved rapidly against the keyboard for about another hour, words spilling onto the screen until you finally hit the page requirement for your paper. it was probably terrible, most likely had a few words spelled wrong, and honestly you were pretty certain you’d repeated yourself several times, but fuck it — submit. you were typically an excellent student, so one bad paper wouldn’t kill you, and you were too tired and achy to care right now. 

you got up and placed your laptop onto your desk, plugging it in and letting a heavy sigh fall from your lips as you made your way back over to the bed. the soft blankets were therapeutically warm on your chilly skin as you crawled in against megumi’s back, effectively turning him into the little spoon and pressing your nose to the back of his neck. thankfully, sleep found you shortly after, your eyes fluttering shut as you drifted off into a much needed slumber. 

babe 

wake up 

babe

you woke up to small finger pokes to your cheek from megumi, his face laced with concern as your vision finally focused on his features. he bent over and pressed his lips to your forehead, pausing there for a fraction of a second and then standing back up. 

“i think you have a fever. i noticed when i woke up and you felt like a fucking space heater,” he frowned, confirming your initial suspicions from last night, “i’ll go get some medicine”.

you groggily nodded your head, shivers coursing through your body and dotting your extremities with goosebumps. your condition had definitely deteriorated overnight, your eyes stinging and a horrible nausea creeping up your throat. 

by the time he returned with the medicine you had yourself propped up against the pillows, thick blankets pulled up to your chin in an attempt to minimize the icy feeling in your body. he handed two small tylenol tablets to you with a disappointed look on his face — a look that said: i’m gonna kick your ass for not getting enough sleep again. 

“i’ll let everyone know you’re not feeling well enough to go out tonight,” he hummed as he handed you a glass of water, your brain filling with thick fog as you tried to decipher why he would need to let anyone know you were sick. 

the look of pure confusion signaled to him that you had no idea what he was talking about, megumi shaking his head before he spoke up again, “it’s your birthday, dumbass, we were supposed to get food and stuff with yuuji, inumaki, and nobara and maki”. 

birthday 

oh 

forgetting about that was another habit you continued to succumb to every year.

“mm, shit,” you sighed after drinking back the pills, “i forgot”. 

“figured you would,” megumi clicked his tongue, “but i didn’t, because i’m a good boyfriend. can you drag yourself out to the kitchen? you should eat”.

“don’t think so,” you mumbled, attempting to disappear back under the blankets before he could coerce you to follow him outside of the bedroom. 

but megumi is impossibly even more stubborn than you are, wrapping his arms under your body and lifting you to his chest, “guess i’ll just have to carry you then”. 

“fine,” you let out a long groan — was it a bit dramatic? maybe. but in your defense you felt like you’d been hit with a train.

he peppered your face with kisses as he carried you out of the bedroom, lovingly setting you down on one of the high bar stools around your kitchen table. he instructed you to stay in the chair, abruptly returning to the bedroom to bring out a couple blankets to wrap around your shoulders. you were grateful for the extra heat, you body still shaking and shivering as the medications worked to cure your fever. 

megumi was a man of few words, preferring to display his love for you through acts of service than grand confessions, and this was very eminent when he wordlessly grabbed a couple pots and began cooking for you. you let your face fall onto your arms, resting your chin as you watched him silently shuffle between the stove and the pantry. the silence was comfortable, and you weren't going to complain about watching your muscular boyfriend walk around the kitchen in nothing but a pair of loose, plaid pajama pants. 

a few minutes later he was placing a steaming bowl of soup and a couple slices of baked bread in front of you, a savory scent flooding your nostrils. 

“red lentil,” he spoke as he handed you a spoon, “it’s your favorite, so you better eat it”. 

“yes, sir,” you gave him a small smile, dipping the cool metal into the hot liquid and scooping a spoonful into your mouth. 

“all of it”

“yes, megumi, i will try”

to no surprise, the soup went down pretty fucking horribly, your head hanging low over the toilet while megumi held your hair out of the way. your throat was practically raw by the time you were done heaving and vomiting up the meal, your eyes brimming with hot tears. 

megumi tied your hair up in a neat bun so he could step away, filling up a glass with water and carefully helping you to take small sips and rinse out your mouth. he was tedious with the clean up, washing your face and helping you brush your teeth — ensuring that you felt the best you could given the situation. he then scooped you back into his arms, carrying you back to bed and profusely apologizing for making you eat the soup — but he was just trying to make you feel better, he really was doing his best.

you were ready to add today to your long list of terrible birthdays, chalking it up as another failed attempt, but megumi was not about to let that happen. he knew you had a rough history with birthdays, but now that he was here? you’d have a bad birthday over his dead body. 

he scoured the back of your fridge for ginger ale, gatorade, jello, and whatever else he could find to make you the perfect sick-person platter. and he made sure he was logged into every streaming service that the two of you collectively owned, preparing netflix, hulu, and crunchy roll so that he could easily access every single one of your favorite shows and movies. and so you spent the majority of your day tucked safely against megumi’s chest, forcing down small sips of ginger ale and watching an assortment of tv. 

your phone rang at some point — a facetime call from all of your friends who had gotten together so they could all wish you a collective happy birthday. megumi stuck a singular candle into a cup of blue-raspberry jello and ignited it with a small flame; and then they all sang the most terrible rendition of “happy birthday” that you’d ever heard, yuuji’s voice a little louder and little more out-of-tune than everyone else's.

you mustered enough energy to blow out the flame, everyone cheering while megumi shoveled a scoop of the blue jelly into your mouth. you swallowed it with a smile, praying it stayed down while everyone sent you off with an assortment of “feel better!”, “we love you!”, and “wish you were here!”

your night got pretty quiet after that, you and megumi climbing back under the covers to watch a few more episodes of your new favorite anime. it wasn’t until well into the night that he finally asked you if he could give you the presents he’d gotten for you. reluctantly, you said yes. you hated receiving gifts (it was just one of the many reasons you hated your birthday) but you knew that megumi wasn’t going to take no for answer. 

he was obviously nervous, palms sweaty as he handed you a couple neatly wrapped packages in plain, solid colored paper. they were very megumi, perfect folds with not a single crease, the paper simple yet elegant and adorned with a singular bow on top. 

you hesitantly peeled the paper off the smaller of the two, revealing a tiny box that contained a classic looking silver locket. you felt your heart pinch in your chest as you clicked the locket open and revealed two small pictures of each of the two of you. you weren’t particularly sentimental, but on top of your lack of sleep and not feeling very well, the simple gift caused few tears to well up in your eyes. but he was quick to wipe them away, insisting that you had to open the second gift first, and that birthdays weren’t meant for crying. 

you followed his instructions, ripping open the second package and revealing a larger box that contained a series of envelopes. each one was decorated with tiny doodles of you and megumi, his demon dogs, hearts, etc. they were sickeningly cute, and you immediately reached for the first one before megumi reached out and stopped you. 

“they’re not for now; they’re for when i’m gone, you know, on missions and stuff,” he could barely even maintain eye contact, his eyes dipping low as yours filled back up with tears. 

despite your lack of energy and the fever that was starting to return, you showered him in hugs and kisses after that, thanking him over and over for the most perfect gifts, and for making your day as wonderful as it could have been. 

all things aside, you were coming around to the idea that birthday’s don’t have to suck. 

bonus: the first letter: 

to y/n:

i know im not great at telling you what i have to say through words, actually, i’m kind of really bad at it. but i thought writing these might be a nice way to try and get better? i’m not sure. anyway, i guess i’ll start by saying that you mean a lot to me, and i probably miss you a lot right now (even though ill be too afraid to reach out and say it). not sure how long i’ll be gone for at the time but it’s probably a few days at least. gonna work hard so i can hurry back to see you. 

i hope you’re sleeping enough, but i know you’re not. you never do, especially when i’m not there to yell at you. i hope you’re eating enough too. but you’re probably also not doing that. you’re like taking care of a stubborn child, you know that? but this is supposed to be a love letter so i’ll try to refrain from scolding you too much. but do try to take care of yourself. ill see you soon. 

megumi

[syos-princess]

Shopping Trip

Pairing: Syoko x Jules (Pink Lipstick AU)

Taglist: @of-comfort-and-love @sirius-to-pup @winterbl0ss0m (ok to rb)

Word Count: 1000+

TW: None

Info: I really never posted this story! It’s the one that I wrote months ago shortly before I made the Pink Lipstick AU for real. It’s written in Third Person but I‘ll write the next in my usual First Person again. I just prefer First Person… *shy chuckle*

One Saturday evening…

The warm spring weather had finally arrived which gave Jules and her girlfriend, Syoko, a reason to go out shopping for new clothes. Well, Syoko was actually the one who dragged Jules to the mall but the brunette didn’t complain. It’s not like she could ever say no to her. Her blonde girlfriend’s excitement always gave her an energy boost as well.

“What do you think, Princess? Does it suit me?”, asked Syoko while standing in front of the shop‘s many clothing racks.

Jules slightly shook her head in amusement. This was already the 10th or so top she showed her. And Syoko would’ve looked amazing in all of them. How could she not?

“You’d look great in it, Syoko…!”

“Aww, thank you~! I definitely wanna try this on, too!”

“Hihi, but you already have a handful to try on, babe!”, the brunette countered lightheartedly.

The blonde girl let out a sweet laugh and readjusted the pile of potential new tops in Jules’ arms, who was really kind to offer to help Syoko carry her stuff. She gently put the new one onto the others.

“You can never have too much clothing, my love! What if there is an urgent style incident and you need extra or something specific? Besides, some of it is actually meant for you!”, Syoko answered.

Jules blushed immediately. The young brunette was glad that her mask covered it up for the most part. At least, she hoped it did. Not that it would have mattered. Her girlfriend always knew exactly when she blushed or became shy around her which Syoko quite enjoyed. The glint in Syoko’s light blue eyes said everything.

“For…for me? How?”, wondered Jules.

The older blonde’s gaze softened and she stepped closer to her girlfriend. Jules could almost recognize Syoko’s smile underneath her mask. Not that teasing or smug smile she likes to show sometimes but the soft, sweet, loving one which is only meant for the brunette girl. Jules could see her girlfriend much clearer in this close proximity and so she couldn’t help but to admire her a little.

Syoko went with her high ponytail as usual but she also added a few extra waves. The bangs framed the soft contours of her face perfectly. Her beautiful eyes were literally popping with the light pink eyeshadow and subtle hint of black mascara and eyeliner. Under the mask’s fabric, despite the situation, Jules knew that Syoko hid the matching, long-lasting, blush lip gloss that she loves to wear almost every day.

Her girlfriend looked absolutely gorgeous. Jules still couldn’t believe that someone amazing like Syoko chose to date someone like her. Somebody so…average. The young brunette didn’t know how long she just stood there until she felt a light tug on her cheek and that made her come back to her senses.

“H-huh? What…?”, she let out, confused.

Jules saw that Syoko was still standing in front of her and was chuckling. The tug she felt came from the blonde’s hand, probably to bring her back to reality which it did.

“Haha, there you are! Did you hear anything I said?”

“Oh! Uh, the…green one…?”

No, Jules didn’t listen to anything she said. Syoko clicked her tongue in disapproval but giggled right after. The younger girl got even more embarrassed and looked away.

“No, silly~!”, Syoko started. “I said that I just love to match clothes with you! And that you’d look so cute in anything from these options. You said that you really liked the wide, frilly, pink shirt with the flowers on it, right?”

The brunette nodded slightly.

“Haha, see? And I really liked the white one which matches so well with the one you liked! We can match just like real couples do! And, since we have the same size, you can wear my clothes solo, too! Then, everyone can see that you’re my beautiful Princess Wife~!”, the blonde finished.

“W-wife? But…we aren’t married…”

Jules almost wanted to add “yet” but decided against it last second. She was too shy to say it out loud. Syoko took one of her soft hands gently in hers.

“Well, that may be true, for now, but you were really happy when I gave you that promise ring you’re wearing…”, her thumb gently ran over the pink jewel while she said that. She was wearing the exact same one on her own finger.

“I’m planning on definitely keeping that promise I gave you that day, you know? I love you, Jules!”, the blonde girl continued happily.

Jules was too stunned to speak at first. Well, more like overwhelmed and incredibly happy. She couldn’t manage to look up at Syoko but instead focused on their still linked hands.

“I…I love you, too…”, she answered quietly.

Jules could feel that her pink cheeks blushed once again. Her girlfriend always had that effect on her. The “con” of being an introvert in a relationship with an extrovert. But she’s always loved that about her. Syoko gently squeezed Jules’ hand.

“Aww, you’re so adorable when you’re shy~! I’d love to kiss you right now, honestly…”

This made the young brunette squeak and she leaned forward to lay her head onto the blonde’s shoulder, obviously trying to hide her embarrassment. Syoko only found this cuter but she didn’t wanna set her poor girlfriend ablaze with the teasing.

“Don’t worry! I was only kidding, Princess. How about we buy some of these clothes and then go for a quick bite? It’s almost noon and I know you don’t like crowded places…”, she offered.

“S…sounds good, babe…”, Jules agreed.

And Syoko didn’t let go of Jules’ hand for the rest of the day…

[kirishimaswife2819]

This is my very 1st request, I hope you won't have trouble answering it! May I ask for headcanons of Bakugou, Midoriya, Todoroki and Kirishima in a Coffee Shop!AU? I don't mind if they own coffee houses, are baristas or frequent customers! Thank you so much for heeding my petition, have a nice day and take care!

Them in a Coffee Shop AU (+Quirkless AU) || Midoriya, Bakugou, Kirishima, and Todoroki

Masterlist 1 || Masterlist 2

↠Author’s Note: Hi! I also made this a quirkless AU so it made more sense with the story. Anyway, thanks for requesting! I hope this okay and I hope you like it. -Danielle <3

↠Characters: Izuku Midoriya, Katsuki Bakugou, Eijiro Kirishima, and Shoto Todoroki x Reader

↠Summary: Coffee shop AU with Izuku, Katsuki, Eijiro, and Shoto

↠Genre: Fluff

↠Word Count: 2.1k 

↠Warnings: None

↠Notes: Idrk know how coffee shop hours work, so just pretend like they work however I said, okay?, also y/o=your order

Izuku Midoriya:

Izuku works at a fairly popular coffee shop, and he’s literally the best worker there

Unlike most of the workers, he pays a lot of attention to the customers and what they specifically ask for, and he’s also always so polite, he was only ever rude to a customer once, but that was because she was being ruder, so it was okay

He also rarely ever gets orders wrong, and when most people come there, they ask specifically for him to make their coffee, so he gets pretty overwhelmed throughout the day and rarely gets a break

Most of the time he didn’t really pay much attention to the customers that asked specifically for him, but most of them straight up flirted with him, and he’s made it perfectly clear that he wasn’t interested in getting a significant other

That was until he met you

Normally, Izuku worked afternoon shifts, so from about one in the afternoon to nine at night (this was partially because he was the only one who closed up the shop correctly), but they recently began changing the schedules up and he got stuck with six to two in the afternoon

He didn’t really have a problem with waking up early, since he normally woke up fairly early to go for a run, not as early as he was now, but still pretty early

It was his first time working that shift when you came in for your morning coffee

You were playing on your phone when he called out to the next in line, you looked up and proceeded forward and to the counter, you looked up expecting the girl that normally worked in the morning but instead it was Izuku

“Are you new here? I’ve never seen you before,” You asked, clearly confused. Izuku gave you a small smile, and his face got a little red, you were really attractive, despite obviously just waking up

“No, I’ve always worked here. I just normally have afternoon shifts but they changed it,” Izuku replied.

“Oh, are you going to be working in the mornings from now on?” You asked, and after a nod, you spoke again, “Okay, well my name’s Y/n L/n, you can call me Y/n if you want, I come in here every morning and I’ll take a y/o.”

He immediately made your order and it was the best that it ever has been

After that day, you and Izuku both got secretly excited to see each other every morning, and you took got on first name basis with each other

You two ended up developing an odd sort of bond, whenever you came in, you two acted like best friends despite only seeing each other for about fifteen minutes every day

You started drinking your morning drink while at the shop, and you always sat at the bar so you could converse with Izuku while he was working

Eventually you two ended up exchanging numbers and hanging out outside of the coffee shop, and then he asked you on a date, and then shortly after that you began dating

You still went in every morning even after you started dating, and everybody working there thought that you were the cutest couple ever

Katsuki Bakugou:

Katsuki comes to get coffee every morning, and everybody at your shop knows this, and they all play rock paper scissors the day before to see who gets to deal with him the next day because he’s a pretty tough customer

He always finds something wrong with the coffee that he gets and he will make the barista remake it until it’s perfect, and he’s made multiple baristas quit because of this

And I know what you’re thinking “why doesn’t your boss just ban him from the shop” but your boss is a bigger asshole than he is, and he has chose Bakugou’s side every time that he’s been brought into it, so the workers just stopped trying to get him to help after a while

The two of you met on your first day working there, since you had tried to defend Katsuki when you first met them, saying that he couldn’t possibly be that bad, when they tried warning you about him, so they forced you to deal with him on your first day on the job

“Good morning,” you said, smiling at the blonde that came in, as he stared at his phone, he didn’t recognize your voice so he looked up and he was pretty surprised to see how attractive you were

“Morning,” he replied, hiding the fact that he liked you, and turning his phone off, before placing it in his pocket

“What can I get for you?” You asked, still smiling at him, hoping that he really wasn’t as bad as all your co-workers said. He told you his order, before giving you his name as well

All your co-workers were listening in and were shocked when he didn’t add on a rude “And don’t forget the extra cream” or “And if you fucking add too much sugar again, I’m calling your boss and complaining”

You made his coffee, before setting it on the counter, and tapping a few things on the screen, and giving him his total price, which was around seven dollars

He took out his wallet, before placing a fifty dollar bill on the counter. This was also strange to your co-workers because Bakugou never paid before he got a sip of his coffee, in case he wanted a refund or for them to remake it/give it to him for free

You picked it up and went to give him his change, but he stopped you

"Keep the change."

"What?" You asked

"I said, keep the change, you fucking deaf or something?"

"Uh, no, but sir, you handed me a fifty."

"I fucking know what I did, do you want it or not?"

"Yeah, I want it," you said, grabbing the change and immediately putting it into your pocket, "Thank you, sir, and have a good day."

"Yeah, whatever," he replied, picking up his coffee and leaving

As soon as he was gone, all of your co-workers were around you, asking you what the hell you did and why he wasn't rude to you, and you could only answer them with a shrug because you honestly had no idea

After that day, you were the only person that ever made his coffee because he was actually nice to you, and because of you he saw how it wasn’t really that easy to do the job

He figured that they just always messed up because they weren’t trying but they were probably just stressed, and it was probably partially his fault

Eventually, he ended up asking you out on a date and you two got to know each other and then eventually you started dating

Eijiro Kirishima:

Like Izuku, Kirishima works at a coffee shop, he just isn’t the most perfect worker ever, but that’s alright because nobody expects him to be perfect

He makes his occasional mistakes, and I would probably give him a 7/10 when it came to doing his job, but he gets an 11/10 for customer service

He’s not just polite, he’s also really friendly and if you just simply have a conversation it’ll feel like you’ve known him forever

He doesn’t really notice if anybody is flirting with him, he just assumes they’re being friendly and is friendly in return, but sometimes Kirishima’s friendliness can come off as flirting, even when he doesn’t realize, so sometimes he has had to reject somebody asking him out, and apologize for not realizing what they were doing

He never specifically tried flirting with anybody, not until you at least, he purposely flirted with you, because immediately after glancing at you, he knew that you were the one

Or that’s what he assumed, you just looked like his type, and he immediately wanted you

Your old coffee shop had shut down and this was the closest one to where it was, so you started going there instead

“Hi!” He immediately greeted you, happily, despite it being seven in the morning

“Um, hi?” You asked, in return. In your last coffee shop the worker that you normally got was pretty vague, and normally talked in a monotone voice, so Kirishima’s happy and cheerful voice was a bit of a surprise

“How are you doing this morning?” He asked, tapping something on the screen

“Good,” you replied, “Do you guys have y/o?”

“Yup, what size would you like?”

“Medium,” you replied, and he tapped something on the screen, before replying

“Okay, that’ll be $5.30, but it’s on me,” he said, smiling at you, picking up a medium disposable cup, “What’s the name?”

“Wait, what?” You asked, referring the first part of what he said, not the question

“I asked what your name was,” he explained, giving you a smile

“No, why is it on you?” You asked

“Oh, I always pay for somebody’s coffee if I find them cute,” he replied, causing your face to heat up

“You find me cute?” You asked, and then he nodded, “Sir, I just woke up a little over half an hour ago. There are huge bags under my eyes, there is no way that you find me cute.”

“Sure there is! Because I do, now what’s your name?”

“Whatever, it’s Y/n,” you replied, and he used a sharpie to write the name on the cup, before going to get your order ready

And he returned with it, giving you a smile, and telling you goodbye

You thanked him for the coffee and once you returned to your car, you read the receipt and found that his number was written at the bottom along with “call me :)”

And that’s exactly what you did

Shoto Todoroki:

Like Bakugou, he’s also a frequent customer, but not every day, he normally comes in every other day, or every three days

He was normally pretty vague, not wanting to interact too much with the barista, he wanted to get in and get out in as little time as possible

He didn’t have a problem correcting the barista if his order was wrong, and he didn’t expect it for free. He just expected them to remake without him having to pay extra

He also didn’t make a big deal if there was a little too much cream or sugar, they probably just added a bit too much, and that’s pretty easy to do

Shoto never really paid much attention to the barista he got and he didn’t really care about who it was, until he walked up to the counter and you were there

“Good morning, what can I get for you?” You questioned, tapping something on the screen

“Morning,” he said, and then he proceeded to make his order

“Alright? And your name?” You questioned, holding the sharpie up to the cup

“Shoto,” he replied, surprising the barista next to you that was listening in. Shoto never used his first name and it surprised her because he normally just said either “Todoroki” or “I’ll be standing right here, just hand it to me, please”

“Alright, Shoto,” you said, using his name, “I’ll be right back with your coffee.” He nodded in acknowledgement and stood off to the side, watching you as you made his order

“Here you go,” you said, handing it to him, “Sorry if I messed it up. I’ve never made one of those before. I’m new here.”

“That’s alright,” he replied, taking a sip. He hid the fact that he didn’t like it, because you had in fact messed something up, maybe you didn’t add enough of something, either way, he faked it with a smile, “Thank you, have a good day.”

Later that day, your co-worker informed you that she was watching you while you made it, since she knew that you never made one before, and she told you that you messed it up. Then she told you a little bit about Shoto and how it was obvious that he had a crush on you

The next day he came in, you apologized to him, and he brushed it off, saying that it was alright

You made a pretty bold move and left your number on the receipt with a little note “call me sometime?”

He did just that the same night when he got home from his work, and you two agreed to go on a date

[yessirsargeantbarnes]

Untold Feelings

Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 2580 😳 so sorry

Warnings: none other than slight eluding to smut/sexual acts

A/N: this took me 2 days to write and it’s the longest thing I’ve written. I really hope you enjoy. I don’t normally write for an Agent!Reader so 😅

You’d answered yes without even a thought after Tony offered you a receptionist position at the tower; no second guesses, no extra thoughts, no what-ifs, ands or buts. It would be easy money and would allow for you to put money into your savings while still allowing you to live comfortably, which was something your current job wasn’t providing. So of course, yes was the first thing you’d said immediately after he proposed the idea to you.

He knew you well enough to know that you would have no problem maintaining the job and would excel beyond any given expectations, said and un-said. And after the last receptionist turned out to be a spy, they were desperate for someone they could trust. Though you hadn’t known each other for an incredibly long time, it was certainly enough time to know that if he called you at any time of day you would pick up and be there whenever and wherever he needed you to be. An unlikely friendship, for sure. You were someone the Avengers would have never thought Tony would even strike up a conversation with.

Your first day on the job was nothing short of boring and exciting at the same time. Anxiety rushed through you at the thought of meeting Tony’s fellow teammates but you also knew you would be able to keep up with almost anything they threw at you. But, you reminded yourself, you were just a receptionist so most likely you wouldn’t need to be at their beck and call. Realizing that you wouldn’t meet the team shortly after you arrived, your nerves had quickly calmed down and you’d settled in in no time.

It wasn’t until months later when Tony came to you once again with another job, offering up the possibility of you working side by side with the Avengers to be their live-in assistant that you really sat down to think about what you were doing. After a few days of sitting at your kitchen table in the middle of the night lightly shaking your head and whispering to yourself, you finally made the decision to accept his proposition and take the promotion.

——

It took a while to get used to the new job. There were some days that you’d had to wake before the sun had even started to peak through the clouds, and other days where you hadn’t gotten to even head to your room until after the moon had sat itself in the very top of the sky above the stars. It was exhausting to say the least but over time you had begun to enjoy the hard work and friendships had started to blossom outside of your duties.

Natasha and Sam had both quickly warmed up to you, them being the first ones to invite you to movie night. Nervously you had accepted. Months of working closely with the Avengers had brought you extremely deep in some of their personal lives while others you had barely even seen glimpses of. James Barnes had been one of the few to slip from your eyesight at every opportunity. Clint spent most of his time back home with his family, only coming to the tower when specifically called upon, but Bucky lived in the tower with the rest of the team. Yet, you had barely seen or spoke to the man. Steve was often times busy with paperwork, on missions, or training but you had a stable, albeit scarce friendship.

Bucky Barnes had always peaked your curiosity and soon you found yourself just a few actions away from actively searching him out. You picked up on his small mannerisms, watching him closely under the guise of “just working” and it wasn’t long before your friends had begun to notice your stares lasting longer than normal. Whether it was insisting to Steve that you go with him for training just to watch him and Bucky spar or staying up later in the evenings with Wanda in the living area in hopes that he would come out for a cup of tea or midnight snack, it was becoming increasingly obvious to all of your friends that you indeed did have eyes for Bucky Barnes, and Bucky Barnes only.

Sam had tried multiple times to set you up with a few of his VA buddies on blind dates, Nat had introduced you to some of her acquaintances, even Steve had pried into your romantic life by pestering you with non-stop questions about the kind of people you liked, who you’d go out with, and other questions of the sort. But after every date when you came home at ten o’clock almost every time and when your huffs of frustration started getting louder, the team slowly stopped their meddling and left you to your silent admiration for the only sergeant you harbored feelings towards.

Months went by with your feelings unnoticed by the soldier and to distract yourself you pushed further into your work. For weeks on end Tony found you sitting in a chair in his office waiting to speak with him, begging him to give you more to do- Anything to push your unrequited feelings aside. After many arguments and much discussion, Tony caved and began training you for minor field work. You had already been with the team for two years and picked up bits and pieces through watching your friends train, now it became an issue of seeing how well you did inside and outside of training.

You were doing so well until one morning the brunette strode through the gym doors clad in nothing but black sweats with his hair tied loosely at the nape of his neck. The punch aimed towards Steve faltered and he could see the way your eyes went wide and your heart caught in your throat. You shook your head to rid yourself of the intrusive thoughts of the solider just across the room from you and looked back to Steve. “Sorry, Cap.” You mumbled when you turned your attention back to the man in front of you, arms coming back up as your body readjusted itself into a fighting stance. His only response was a chuckle and murmur under his breath, lunging at you and knocking your feet from under your body sending you tumbling down to the mat.

——

Between training and continuing with your present job of Avengers assistant, you no longer had much energy to have any free time for yourself but had managed to set aside a tiny sliver of each night spent curled up on the sofa on the main floor watching episodes of your favorite shows or movies you hadn’t seen for years. And that’s how he found you one night; curled up on the sofa sleeping softly with the end credits of a movie flashing across the tv screen. Instead of waking you, he simply gently lifted your feet up and placed them back over his lap as he melted into the couch next to you.

Bucky Barnes would never admit it out loud, but he had changed his entire daily routine to secretly be in your presence. At first he hadn’t necessarily avoided you, but he certainly kept to himself. But once he’d really gotten a good look at you and Steve had opened up to you, he had done almost the same that you had towards him. The only reason you hadn’t noticed was because he had been trained to not be seen. But it was the little things like going to the gym when he knew you were inside training, coming to the kitchen around the same time you sat at the table for lunch to grab a bite to eat, and most recently it was walking through the main floor after his nightly runs to see you curled up on the couch watching movies.

Some nights he found himself moving silently into the room and sitting on a stool at the kitchen counter to watch whatever you were watching and other nights he’d stand by the doorway for a few moments taking in your giggling fits of laughter before smiling to himself and walking off. It was the previously mentioned how he found himself sitting next to your sleeping figure. He let the credits finish before painstakingly slowly reaching over you to grab the remote and change the movie to something more his style and turning the volume down so as not to wake you. When the movie had ended he lifted your feet off his lap and laid them back down and walked giddily back to the elevator and then to his room.

As such had become part of his new routine. Only when you slept would he sneakily join you to watch movies Sam had recommended and afterwards he would sneak back out and back to his room. Until one night you weren’t even there. The room sat empty and quiet, void of anyone until he heard the elevator beep and the doors open. Your feet shuffled across the floor and into the room where you bumped right into him. “Sergeant! My apologies, I wasn’t paying attention.” You stuttered out, silently cursing yourself for your clumsiness and steadying your breathing. “I was about to watch a movie.. if you’d care to join?”

A blush crept over his cheeks as he nodded yes in response and entered the dark room, sitting beside you when you patted the cushion next to you. “Anything in particular you’d like to watch?” He again shook his head silently, opting for you to choose whatever you wanted. After a few quiet minutes the sound of the movie you decided on filled the stillness of the room and you audibly relaxed into the sofa with a sigh. Halfway through the movie when you starting drifting off, Bucky took his chance to ease up on the tension that riddled through his body and scooted closer to you, his arms falling over your shoulder that now slouched against his side.

When you suddenly shot back up in your seat at one of your favorite scenes in the movie, Bucky sat up with you, adjusting his posture and becoming rigid once more until you whined softly and pulled his arm back over you, curling into his side and smooshing your face against his chest. His hand dropped to your thigh and you buried your face even deeper into the crook of his arm biting back a smile as his thumb began lightly tracing over your skin. This was the closest you’d ever been to the soldier and his heat radiated through your thin clothing and deep into your body.

After falling asleep against the man he gently woke you when the movie had ended and against your many sleepy protests to stay laying on the sofa, carried you to the elevator and then your room. He sat you down carefully in your bed and lightly threw your covers over your drowsy figure and left you sleeping in your room peacefully.

The next morning when you woke and went to train after your short breakfast, you found him sparring once again with Steve and stood by the mat waiting for your turn. “What, no warm up?” Steve grinned at you while ducking from the blows that his fellow super soldier was sending his way. “Nah” you laughed “Figured there’s no time for warm ups in the field.”

Steve stepped off the mat and signaled for you to step up and you turned to look at Bucky who had his brows furrowed with concern. “Steve.. I don’t think this is the best idea.” A shy blush once again flushed over his cheeks when he looked at you “No offense. I don’t wanna break you on accident.” Your chuckle made his blush burn against his flesh even harder while you stood in front of him posed and ready to give him your all.

——

A few more months went by and Bucky had started joining you most nights for movies and you’d started training with him more. To no avail, no matter how much you tried to convince yourself that you didn’t have feelings towards him, each time you ended up on your back on the mat with him hovering over you or curled into his side on the sofa, you couldn’t help but want to confess your untold feelings.

“Babe, I think you should at least try to communicate your feelings.” Wanda told you one morning as you cooked breakfast for the both of you. You pulled your bottom lip between your teeth and chewed on it anxiously in thought. “No, Wan, I don’t think he sees me that way.” She could only scoff at you and tssk in annoyance at your doubt. “I’m serious! There’s no way.” “Yeah, okay.” She rolled her eyes.

——

The date for your first official mission had been announced. In a matter of hours you’d be on the jet flying halfway across the world to drop down and sneak into an old base for intel. Well, technically speaking, you’d stay in the jet and provide backup if needed for Steve and Wanda, however it really was your first official meeting. After it quickly went wrong, you were called in behind them to help cover while they rushed to the room where the information was stored. You bought them just a few extra minutes, but in that time they were able to grab what they needed and you were essentially in and out.

Arriving back at the tower, you were met with the arms of your favorite sergeant who ran to meet you and pulled you into a tight hug, lifting you into the air and spinning around before setting you back down on your feet and turning your body around checking for any injuries you might have. After finding no huge issues, only minor scrapes and bruises his metal hand found it’s way to the bridge of your back, pulling you against his chest tightly. Your breathing was heavy when you finally looked him in the eyes with a grin plastered across your face. “Hiya, Sarge.”

“‘M so proud of ya, doll.” He grinned back at you. Your hands rested on either side of his arms, grasping tightly as you tried to slow your breathing, still huffing from the run to meet him in the corridor between the launch pad and the tower in front of you. “God, you’re so beautiful. Always so fuckin’ pretty, honey. I couldn’t stand not having you here all day.” He whispered softly in your ear when you hugged him tightly again.

“Bucky, I-“ you pulled away slightly to look at him through your lashes, head titled upwards to fully meet his gaze. “Shh, doll. I should’ve told you sooner. But now’s as good a time as any to tell you that I- mmph!” He stumbled back when you threw yourself on him, lips hungrily meeting his. After the initial shock of what you’d done had washed over him, he pushed back even harder than you did, nipping at your bottom lip and slipping his tongue into your mouth.

“Dollface-“ he growled once you’d both separated for a few seconds to catch your breath, “If you keep that up I can’t promise I’ll be able to take it slow.” You grinned at him before pulling him back down to kiss him again. “I think we’ve already taken it slow, Sarge.”

[generallynerdy]

Uncalled they come to me, and told, they still won’t leave me (Din Djarin/Soulmate!Reader)

Spoilers for Chapter 9 (S2E1) of the Mandalorian

Summary: After the ambitious Toro Calican turns on you, his hired mechanic, in hopes of winning favour with the Guild, the mysterious Mandalorian saves your life. Now that you owe him a life debt, he’s stuck with you until you can save him back. It’s not so bad, having a free mechanic and babysitter for the kid, but things take a turn for the worse when both of you realise you might be catching feelings. For someone that might not even be your Soulmate.

Requested by Anon: Hello! How’re you doing? May I please request a Din x reader soulmate au? The one where you don’t see color until you touch your soulmate? It would be very difficult for Din to find his soulmate and I’ve always wanted to see how it played out. If not that’s ok! Thank you and have a wonderful day ❤️

Key: (Y/N) - your name, (h/c) - hair colour, (e/c) - eye colour Translations: vode - siblings, Ret’urcye mhi - goodbye (literally: may we meet again), mirshmure’cya - brain-kiss (Basic term, is Keldabe kiss. This is the soft one as opposed to the literal headbutt term) Asked to be tagged in this disaster: @pearlll09 Word Count: remember when i said this would be 4k? Yeah. It’s 6,478 words. What. The. Fuck.

Author’s Note: this is way longer than I intended it to be but I think u deserve it since u were the only one who saw my post begging for mando requests and actually sent one hksjlfdkj tysm!! I’m so happy I got to write a Soulmate AU for him tbh. Btw, I have it in my head that Yodito would’ve given him the ability to see green, as a familial Soulmate bond, but it wouldn’t work for this if your eyes are green so I just left it out. (Also wtf is up with the Cobb/Din shit, Cobb is clearly in a dedicated relationship with the bartender Weequay. I named them Sala :D) The title is from The Teller of Tales by Gabriela Mistral.

Read On AO3

*

“Do you wear those gloves all the time?”

The Mando gives you a look—one that you can’t read, obviously, but you get the idea that it’s drier than the desert you’re in.

Calican snorts, but you shoot him a glare and he shuts up. You’re only here because he’s paying well for your mechanical skills, enough that his request of an extra hand on his first bounty seemed reasonable. Finding out that he’s hunting Fennec Shand was...less than pleasing, but now that the Mando is onboard, you’re not quite so worried about the outcome. They’re supposed to be fearsome warriors, after all. And he was smart enough to figure out how to wait out Shand, which is what the three of you have been doing for hours.

“I’m just saying,” you continue, “between the armour and the gloves, it must be damn near impossible to find your Soulmate.”

He shrugs. Sort of. It’s kind of hard to tell, to be honest.

“Haven’t you heard the stories?” Calican asks, flopping back onto the sand. “Mandalorians don’t have Soulmates. They start seeing colour after their first battle; war is their only destiny.”

You roll your eyes. They’re folk tales, really, and ridiculous ones at that. Every sentient has at least one Soulmate, romantic, platonic, familial, or otherwise, and there’s no reason for Mandalorians to be any different. Still, the stories make their rounds. There are specific ones, too, like the one about the Mandalorian Jedi who made the Darksaber; he was said to see colour when he lit his weapon for the first time. Fett, too, was said to have seen a new colour with every clone that was decanted—which is mildly ridiculous.

“Maybe the Mandalorians of old,” Mando comments with a scoff. “Not many of us see battle these days.”

“Well, if you’re looking for it, I know a krayt dragon a few hundred klicks away,” you suggest lightly.

He snorts. “No thanks. I’ll take the assassin.”

“Speaking of,” you said, “you guys know I’m just a mechanic, right?”

There’s a pause. Calican nods, but the Mando is still.

“What?” he asks, displeasure in his voice.

“I mean, I’m pretty good with a blaster, but I’m gonna be useless against Fennec Shand.”

Mando whirls on Calican. “You paid a mechanic to be your back-up? Are you insane?”

He shrugs. “(Y/N) has a mean right hook.”

“That’s not reassuring,” Mando huffs. He looks over at you and you can almost feel him glaring through the visor. “Are you crazy?”

“I’m broke,” you scoff. “Same thing. Oh, hey, do you need repairs on that hunk of junk you pilot? I’ll be more thorough than that lady at the hangar.”

He hesitates. “We’ll see.”

You grin. That’s not a no.

*

“You’re a prick, did I mention that?” you hiss over your shoulder.

Calican shoves the blaster into your side. “Shut up and keep walking.”

The Mandalorian stands on the other side of the hangar, waiting for Calican to make his move. Seriously, this day could not be going any worse. After killing Shand, Toro Calican, certified dumbass, decided that kidnapping you and the Mandalorian’s—pet? Child?—passenger was the best way to go. Whatever the little weird thing that’s in your arms is, it’s pretty cute, and you’d rather he shoot you than the baby holding tightly onto your shirt. In fact, he probably will, because the kid is his ticket into the Guild—you’re just dead weight.

“Looks like I’m calling the shots now. Huh, partner?” Calican asks the Mando. “Drop your blaster and raise ‘em.”

The Mandalorian puts his hands behind his head. Next to you, Calican pushes Peli forward and instructs her to cuff him. With a huff, she moves behind the Mandalorian with the intent to follow orders.

“You’re a Guild traitor, Mando,” Calican begins. You consider sighing. This sounds like the start of a villain monologue. “And I’m willing to bet that this here is the target you helped escape. Fennec was right. Bringing you in won’t just make me a member of the Guild, it’ll make me legendary.”

In a burst of light, the Mandalorian sets off a flash grenade.

You yelp and tuck the little thing into your arms before tucking yourself over into a roll down the ramp of the ship. You fall into the sand just in front of the Mandalorian, who’s moved to fire a shot at Calican, sending him flying off the other side, smouldering.

Breathing heavily, you sit up, the child still in your arms.

“Are you okay? Is the child?”

You look up. The Mandalorian has his gloved hand held out, offering to help you up. Hesitantly, you take it and pull yourself off the ground.

“We’re both okay—I think,” you say hesitantly, holding the baby out to him. “Is he—?”

“Dead,” the Mando confirms, taking the child from you.

You frown. “Good riddance. Thank you,” you tell him hesitantly, though your tone is genuine.

“It’s nothing,” he murmurs.

He distracts himself by checking on the child, who coos up at him contentedly. You smile a little at the interaction, but put yourself back into focus.

“It’s not nothing,” you say firmly. “I owe you a life debt.”

He freezes. “What?”

“Where I come from, if someone saves your life, you owe it to them. Until I can save your life, I owe you,” you explain.

“That’s—you don’t need to do that,” he says quickly.

You cross your arms. “It’s like your Way. It’s my culture, my honour on the line. You’re stuck with me, Mando.”

“What? No. Can’t you...pay me, or something?”

“I’m broke, remember?”

“You saved the child’s life, doesn’t that count?”

Your eyebrows shoot up. “I rolled with him. You did the work, so, no, it doesn’t count, even though he’s your…” You hesitate, remembering the word. “...foundling.”

“You know, you’re kind of getting the better end of the deal here,” Peli pipes up, directing the thought at the Mandalorian. “A free mechanic, babysitter, and an extra blaster? That’s a bargain.”

“Uh...pre-warning, I don’t know much about child care,” you warn immediately.

He snorts. “Neither do I.” After a moment, he sighs deeply. “Fine. But we’re going to work on those blaster skills before you become a liability.”

“Fair enough.”

*

Sticking with the Mandalorian is probably the worst decision of your life.

Almost immediately after Tatooine, in need of more funds, he drags you into trouble with another group of bounty hunters and the New Republic, of all groups.

“Who is this?” someone asks, her voice sing-song as she enters the Mandalorian’s ship.

You don’t bother turning around, continuing your repairs on a hull panel. “The mechanic. Don’t touch anything.”

“You have a personal mechanic?”

A few people enter the ship, making you finally turn around. The first speaker is a Twi’lek woman and the second a Human, who squints disdainfully. From behind him, Mando pushes past their little crew—including a protocol droid and a massive Devaronian—to approach you, deciding to stand next to you rather than them, which brings you immense pleasure for some reason.

“No. (Y/N) owes me a life debt and, apparently, credits don’t cut it,” he explains shortly, sounding frustrated and exhausted.

You nudge him companionably—it’s an argument you’ve had a few times, the paying of your debt. He doesn’t want to be free of you, per se, but he doesn’t want you to be in his debt. Having that kind of power or hold over you makes him uncomfortable, you can tell, as every time it comes up he gets twitchy.

“Kinky,” the Twi’lek snickers.

You grimace. That would explain why Mando sounds like he wants to die. “Fun group. What’s the job?”

“One of theirs got caught. We’re getting him out,” he says. “And we’re using our ship.”

Our ship. Maybe it’s a slip of the tongue or maybe he’s making it clear that you’re with him, but either way, it brings a smirk to your face. The Twi’lek looks disgusted.

“Well, at least my hard work won’t be going to waste,” you huff.

“Mando,” the Twi’lek interrupts, “you haven’t introduced us.”

You can feel him rolling his eyes. “(Y/N), meet Mayfeld, Burg, Xi’an. Mayfeld is running point, the droid is flying, and the target is a New Republic transport ship.”

“Ugh. You guys better be good; I’m not getting arrested.”

“Mayfeld’s former Imperial,” Mando says before any of them can answer.

You scoff. “A stormtrooper? My shitty blaster skills would be better than his.”

“I wasn’t a stormtrooper,” Mayfeld spits, annoyed enough that he must’ve said it once already. “Let’s get this show on the road.”

All but the droid stay, scattered around the hull. Mando follows soon after the jump to hyperspace, having hovered over the droid while it set their course. He stops Burg from getting into the weapons cache right after he hops down the ladder and the two look like they want to kill each other.

“Someone tell me why we even need a Mandalorian,” the Devaronian grunts.

Mayfeld huffs. “Well, apparently, they’re the greatest warriors in the galaxy. So they say.”

“Then why are they all dead?”

They all laugh at that—Xi’an with a particularly nasal one, which is irritating beyond belief. You frown deeply, but try not to show how pissed their laughter makes you. That sort of shit isn’t to be made fun of; a dying race. It’s all too familiar these days, what with the death of Alderaan and the crater on Scarif.

When you come back into focus, Xi’an is talking in low tones.

“See, I know who you really are,” she says to the Mando.

You roll your eyes. Unlikely.

(Something in your brain goes: I do, which is stupid. You don’t know who he is, under that helmet, sure, but you’ve seen a lot of him through his actions. He’s reckless, terrifying, and a badass, but he’s also patient and...kind, in his own way. The way he treats the child is like nothing you’ve seen in another bounty hunter. It’s gentle, caring. The kid has really grown on him, you think. And the way he treats you is just straight up polite, even though you’re practically his servant in terms of a life debt. Still, he treats you like a person and doesn’t ask you to do unreasonable favours just because he saved your life. He doesn’t hold it over your head.)

And then they start goading him about the helmet.

Burg actually goes for it, which Mando beats him back for. You jump forward, but just as you do, the door to the sleeping cot flies open, revealing the child.

Instead, you rush to the child, pulling him into your arms.

“What is that?” Mayfeld asks, approaching.

“Back off,” you hiss.

He looks between you and Mando. “Wait, did you two make that?” When you scoff, he frowns. “What is it, like a pet or somethin’?”

“Yeah. Something like that,” Mando says quickly.

Xi’an frowns. “Didn’t take you for the type. Maybe that code of yours has made you soft.”

You snort. Soft. That isn’t a word you’d use to describe him, ever. You haven’t seen very much action since Tatooine, but you saw enough there.

Mayfeld reaches for the child and, without hesitation, you lift your blaster. The way he’s looking at the little guy makes you uneasy.

“Fuck off,” you warn instantly.

“Aw, c’mon, I just wanna hold him,” he teases.

Over the comms, the droid’s voice echoes. “Dropping out of hyperspace. Now.”

The entire ship shudders and shakes, sending everyone flying off their feet. You happen to ram into beskar, your face slamming into the metal, which makes you yelp. The baby wails in your arms as gravity makes to tug you away again. Before it can, Mando grabs your arms and holds you in place against him until the ship is steady once more.

“You okay?” he asks, helping you to your feet—again, you think miserably.

“Ugh, no,” you groan, putting a hand on the left side of your face. “That’s gonna bruise.”

Mando takes the child from you. “Sorry. We’ll deal with it after.”

You wave him off. “I’ve had worse. You worry about the job, I’ll watch the kid,” you say, taking the child back. You can’t help but smile when he coos happily.

“Right,” Mando mutters. For a moment, he watches you both, considering.

“Mando!” calls Mayfeld. “Let’s go!”

Before he goes, he puts a hand on your shoulder. “Be careful. I have a bad feeling about this.” You nod, which seems to appease him, and watch him leave.

Petting the child’s floppy ears, you wonder if he meant that to be as comforting as it was.

*

I should’ve known, Din thinks when Qin walks out of that cell.

I definitely should’ve known, he decides, returning to the Razor Crest to find a sparking droid corpse and a shaking child in your arms.

He tosses the cuffed Twi’lek to the side and rushes to yours, stepping over Zero’s limp form. You look relatively unfazed, for someone who’s just ripped a droid’s head off with their bare hands, but the child is rather distressed. The kid squeaks at the sight of Din and, much to his surprise, lifts your hand to show him.

It’s bleeding.

“What did you do?” Din questions, crossing the hull for his medical kit.

“I...may have tried to punch the droid,” you admit hesitantly. “It didn’t work.”

He scoffs, returning to kneel in front of you with bacta patches in his hands. “No karking shit.”

Your face falls as he reaches for your hand, pulling it toward him so he can patch it up. “It was gonna hurt the kid.”

“You did good,” he murmurs. “Stupid, but good.”

It never occurred to him that you might save the child again. You’re here out of necessity, after all, because you owe him, because your honour depends on paying that debt. The child is just another being in the vicinity, but you still saved him. Again. You’re either very stupid or very kind and he can’t decide which one is more concerning.

“Maybe you should teach me a bit of hand to hand, too,” you suggest warmly, wincing at the bacta’s sting.

Din makes a noise that’s sort of a laugh. “I’ll add it to the list.”

He moves to put bacta on the bruise his beskar gave you—He feels ridiculously guilty for that; here you are, paying off a life debt to him, and he still manages to hurt you—but with a hand, you stop him.

“Don’t waste it,” you say immediately. “I’ve had worse bruises, seriously.”

He frowns. “It’s not a waste.” Before you can protest, he puts the patch on top of the bruise.

You huff. “You’re a worrier, aren’t you, Mando?”

“Apparently,” he replies dryly. He hadn’t realised it, either.

“Will you stop flirting and get us out of here!?” Qin shouts from the other side of the hull. “The New Republic will be on our asses!”

You roll your eyes. “I hate to say it, but he has a point. Where are the others?”

“Dealt with,” he says simply. “It was a double-cross.”

“Well, I figured,” you shoot back with a knowing look. “Let’s get the hell out of here.”

The drop is easy enough, especially since Din knows that New Republic signal is beeping steadily from Qin’s pocket. He escapes quickly, dipping back into the Razor Crest, where you wait at the top of the ramp, the child hanging onto your boot.

“Let’s go,” he declares, the ramp shutting behind him as he enters.

“Already?” you question with a raised eyebrow. “There are a few repairs I could make out of hyperspace that might be useful.”

He waves you toward the cockpit. “Later. We need to leave.”

“Oookay.” You frown but do as he says, plucking the child from off your foot. “C’mon, little guy,” you mutter to him.

Din waves away all your questions as he starts the take-off. Finally, when the Razor Crest is a safe distance away from the space station and X-Wings appear out of hyperspace, he glances back at you.

“Holy shit!” you cry as they open fire. You look back at him with a slack jaw, which makes him smile underneath the helmet. “That was you, wasn’t it?”

He shrugs half-heartedly, but it’s enough of an answer.

“You’re a maniac, Mando,” you laugh, watching the scene through the transparisteel.

Din thinks over it, staring at you for a long moment. There’s light in your eyes—maybe it’s the reflection of the explosion, but it’s captivating.

“Din,” he says.

You look over. “Hm?”

He clears his throat, trying to shove aside nerves. “My name. It’s Din.”

“Oh. Oh,” you repeat, eyes wide. Then, you smile, more genuine than he’s ever seen from you, he thinks. “You’re crazy, Din. You know that, right?”

He laughs—and that’s the first time you’ve heard a proper one from him. ���Yeah. Yeah, I know.”

*

When Din drops a pair of gloves in front of you, you laugh.

“You’re telling me the gloves are out of convenience?” you ask him disbelievingly.

“The more skin you cover, the less likely you are to get cut up by a vibroblade,” he replies dryly. “Put them on.”

You raise your hands in surrender and take them, slipping them over your fingers. “Surprisingly comfy.”

It occurs to you that this is...sort of a big deal. You’ve kept your hands bare for as long as you can remember, mostly because you’re a romantic and finding your Soulmate has been at the forefront of your mind for a long time. But now, you think, it’s not such a big deal. You have a debt to pay and, besides that, you’re pretty happy with how things are now.

Life isn’t exactly nice with Din and the kid, so to say, but you’re content. You love the child and he adores you. The Razor Crest feels more like home than any planet ever has. And Din is...well, he’s something. Being around him is mildly addicting and whenever he’s gone, something feels incomplete.

“Better?” you ask, lifting your gloved hands.

“Much,” he says. Then, he holds out his own hand. “C’mon, up.”

You take the hand without thought, but before you know it, he’s swinging you around and shoving you to the ground.

“Ow!” you cry. “What the hell, Din?”

He huffs. “Lesson 1: Never take anything for granted.”

“Rude.” You hit his arm meaningfully, but he just rolls his eyes; just because you can’t see it doesn’t mean you can’t tell it’s happening.

“You’ll thank me someday.”

“But not today.”

“Nope. Today, you’re gonna hate my guts.”

*

He’s dying.

It feels unreal, what with everything you’ve watched him survive so far. A newbie bounty hunter, a group of pissed off bounty hunters, lots of bounty hunters, and the New Republic but a group of stormtroopers is what gets him?

Moff Gideon is what really gets him, though. The bastard that helped destroy his people is going to destroy Din Djarin. Hearing him speak Din’s name makes you nauseous, furious, even. He gave you that name in confidence, trusted it to you, the only one of his handful of friends to even use it, and Gideon decides to declare it to Nevaroo in its entirety. It makes your blood boil, enough that you get out of the initial firefight mostly unscathed.

But Din doesn’t. And now he’s dying in your arms and you feel like you failed.

“Go with them,” he tells you, all croaky and half-assed.

“No. No, I’m not leaving you here,” you declare, carefully leaning him against the rubble.

Flames flicker all around the room and the child is crying. It’s not loud or consistent, but it’s enough to break your heart.

“You have to go,” Din says again. “You’ll die.”

You laugh ruefully. “That’s kind of the point. A life debt means I save your life or I die trying.”

A pause.

“You have got to be fucking kidding me,” he hisses through the pain.

“Afraid not, dumbass. You’re stuck with me, remember?”

He grasps your arm, his hands still gloved. If you’re going to die here, maybe you should ask him to take off the gloves. A part of you has wondered…

“C’mon, tell me it’s transferable—some ‘dying wish’ shit like that.”

You nod, though the action sinks uncomfortably into your chest. Leaving him here...that doesn’t sit well with you. But if he asks, then you’ll do it. “Yeah, you name it, but it’d better be a big one, something equivalent.”

The breath he lets out is one of relief. “Take care of the kid. Go find his people and return him to them. Protect him.”

“With my dying breath,” you swear, the words holding an air of ceremony.

Din grasps your arm tighter and pulls you down, your forehead meeting his helmet. You’re not sure what it means, but it must mean something because he mutters words in his own language, which you’ve never heard him do before.

“Ret’urcye mhi.”

May we meet again.

Din does what little he can in saying goodbye to you, as deeply as that cuts. You’ve grown on him, a little too much maybe, and it kills him to think that you’ll be without him now. You still can’t hit a headshot, he realises, suddenly worried for how you’ll fare.

And so he gives you what he can: a Keldabe kiss and a goodbye, instead of the action he wants to take. He wants to take off his gloves and see if he can figure out the colour of your eyes. On the other hand, though, he doesn’t want to leave you with that, of all things, to leave you seeing the red of his blood and the blue-tinged orange of the flames before any other colours.

You take the child in your arms and, with one last glance at Din, leave the room for the covert’s tunnels underground.

The child whimpers up at you.

You look down, sniffling, and pet his ears gently. “I know, little one. I’m so sorry.” You place a gentle kiss to his forehead.

Cara appears, tugging on your wrist. “C’mon,” she says gently. “We need to get out of here.”

It occurs to you, as the three of you and Greef move on, that Cara might help you with the child. For Din, obviously. She’s a good person and, frankly, she and Din seem pretty friendly. The second she saw you, she’d offered her bare hand and bemoaned the fact that her vision was still black and white, much to your amusement. It was all in good fun, but Din had looked a little uncomfortable, for reasons you didn’t know.

“(Y/N),” Cara says quietly, calling your attention back.

You shake yourself from your thoughts. “Sorry.”

She smiles sadly. “It’s okay. Just keep up.”

The small group turns a few corners before footsteps sound from behind. You immediately place the child in the bag hanging from Cara’s shoulder and draw your blaster, watching her and Greef do the same.

From the distant hall, two figures approach: IG-11 and—

“Din!” you half-cry, half-breathe out. Holstering your blaster, you meet them halfway to take more of Din’s weight from IG. “How—?”

“No living thing can see me without my helmet. IG isn’t alive,” Din says dryly.

You laugh, a partly manic sound. “Thank kark. You’re not getting out of this that easy.”

The noise he makes is both amused and resigned. “Wouldn’t dream of it. Where’s the—?”

“He’s with Cara,” you say, finishing the thought before even he can, in his groggy state.

It’s safe to say that when the Armourer gives him his sigil, Din almost considers correcting the Clan of two to a Clan of three. He doesn’t, reminding himself that you’re here because of a debt and nothing else, but the thought is there.

*

The months after Nevarro are more peaceful than the first week of your time with Din. 

You finally get to pull a proper sleeping space together for yourself. Well, it’s a hammock in the hull, but it’s better than the seats in the cockpit. The child gets his own hammock, too, though it’s in the cot space with Din. He loves it, so much so that he squeals when he sees it. That’s your proudest moment, for sure.

Most days, you tend to forget that you still owe a life debt. To be honest, it just feels like the three of you are normal. Din takes bounties, you take short mechanic jobs on different planets, and the two of you trade off on child-duty. It’s pretty regular, more than what your life used to be, anyway.

Din is still training you in hand-to-hand and blasters, of course. You’re getting better with the latter, but the first is difficult. On the way to Tatooine, where there’s supposedly another Mandalorian, he decides to have another training session.

“Fists higher, do it again.”

Huffing, you wipe your wrist across your sweaty forehead. It’s easy enough to obey the order—the first part, anyway. Getting into his guard is difficult, though.

One hit, two blocks—there. You slip under his guard and make an abrupt drop to the ground, sweeping his legs out under him with a fierce movement. He goes down in a tumble of beskar, joining you on the floor. As soon as he’s down, you flip over and straddle his hips, an arm over his neck in false threat.

He barks out a laugh. “Much better.”

“I’m not entirely hopeless!” you declare joyfully before bursting into snickers.

Leaning down, you thunk your forehead against his helmet. The gesture is fond, you’ve learned, something shared between close companions—or at least you think. Din told you that it’s called a mirshmure’cya in Mando’a, that it doesn’t have an equivalent word in Basic.

(Which is technically true. Literally, it means brain-kiss, but the outsider term for it is Keldabe kiss. It can be used for close companions—vode in arms, family—but it’s also used for romantic partners, so he’s mildly horrified at the idea of explaining its cultural significance to you and having to face his feelings for someone that may or may not be his Soulmate. He hasn’t gotten up the courage to ask if he can check. Or try to do it discreetly.)

A distant beeping starts up, coming from the cockpit. It’s the approach warning, which means the training session is over.

“I’ll get the kid,” you say, climbing off Din and offering a hand.

He takes it without hesitation, dragging himself up and making a beeline for the cockpit.

Tatooine is about what you remember. That is, it’s dry, sandy, and the worst planet you’ve ever been on. Stepping out of the ship and into the hangar makes you smile, though, at the not-so-distant memory of Din saving your life. It hasn’t been that long, but it feels like it’s been years.

“Oh, hey!” says Peli, after greeting the child—which is fair, he’s adorable. “You’re still with him! Haven’t repaid that debt yet, huh?”

Your face falls. “Uh, no, not really.”

On the way to Mos Pelgo, your thoughts linger on the life debt. One of these days, you’re going to save Din’s life—then where will you be? Will he want you to leave? What will you do if you have to leave? Your old life was nowhere near as interesting as this, nor did you have anyone close to what Din and the child are to you.

The dreary grey slopes of sand only make it easier to think of the worst possible outcomes. Now you remember why you hated Tatooine so much.

You don’t even realise the speeder is approaching the small town until Din taps your arm, which is wrapped around his waist. Jumping at the touch, you loosen your grip sheepishly and glance at the child, who looks like he’s enjoying himself immensely.

After the speeder comes to a stop, you take the kid while Din enters the cantina.

When you enter yourself, you find that he’s about to shoot someone, while the Weequay behind the bar looks rather distressed.

“Perfect timing, as always,” Din remarks without a glance.

You raise your free hand. “You’re the bad luck charm, I’m just here for the ride,” you retort teasingly.

“You brought a kid to a gunfight?” his opponent asks, raising an eyebrow.

Finally, you glance over at him and see why Din looks ready to kill him. He’s in Mandalorian armour but his helmet is off—clearly, he’s not Mandalorian. “You’re wearing beskar and you’re not a Mandalorian, buddy. I think you’re in more trouble than the kid is.”

“He is,” Din gets out, a twinge of viciousness in his voice.

Before they can even reach for their blasters, though, the ground starts to shake.

You grab onto the doorway for support, eyes wide as you grip the child. Din and the Mandalorian poser move toward the door, joining you and staring out at the street outside.

The entire planet feels like it rumbles and chaos reigns outside.

Something is moving the sand—coming toward the town.

“Holy fuck,” you whisper as it goes by, shifting the sand like it’s an ocean rather than earth. It flies out of the ground, sharp teeth the only thing you see as it consumes a bantha whole.

When it’s gone, the poser huffs. “Maybe we can work something out.” He turns to you, offering a hand, which is covered by fingerless gloves. “Cobb Vanth. I’m the Marshal here.”

You take it hesitantly, glad that things are still black and white when you make contact. “(Y/N).”

He notices your hesitation and chuckles. “The Weequay in there is Sala, my Soulmate. I’ll see if they can’t whip up something for the kid; I’m sure he’s starving.”

“Very,” you say, just before he goes to leave.

When it’s just you and Din, you look over at your companion. “Krayt dragon, huh?”

“Yep,” he sighs, already sounding tired.

You laugh. “I know I said I could bring you to one when we met, but I was totally kidding.”

He looks over at you and you can feel the low-level glare behind the visor, but it only makes you snicker. “I hate you.”

“You’re so full of shit,” you retort immediately.

*

You finally get to repay your debt.

It’s not what you’re thinking about when you shove Din out of the way of the krayt’s projectile venom, but it’s repaid nonetheless.

Din doesn’t think of it immediately, either, as he’s rather more concerned with the fact that you’re sent flying across the desert into a pile of debris and sharp rocks.

“(Y/N)!”

Before he can run to you, Cobb grabs his arm. “The dragon!”

To be honest, killing the dragon feels like a bonus when he pulls himself together and figures out a plan. When the great beast explodes, the Tuskens and the villagers cheer, but Din races back to the place he saw you last. He pushes aside the remains of one of those massive weapons they built to find you, laying on the ground. For a moment, panic clutches his heart, but then you groan.

“Am I dead?” you ask.

Din lets out a breath, hardly managing it, as he kneels next to you. “Dumbass.”

“Because it feels like I’m dead.”

“Dumbass,” he repeats, ripping your shirt away to find a deep cut in your side, just above your hip. “Of all the ways to pay your debt—”

You sit up, wincing. “Oh,” you say, as if you hadn’t realised it, “I guess I did that, too.”

Din’s heart is still beating a million klicks a second at how close you were to being dead, but for a second, it flips, realising that you hadn’t saved him just to pay the debt. And then, as he’s helping you off the ground and bringing you toward the others, who have bacta patches ready, his heart sinks.

Your debt is paid. You don’t have any reason to stay with him and the kid. As soon as you get back to the city, he’s going to have to watch you leave.

Shit. He didn’t think this through.

Meanwhile, you’re on the same train of thought. Does he really think you saved him for the debt? Does he want you gone that bad? It makes sense. You’re a pain in the ass, with all the training you need. But...well, you thought he might’ve—

“I’ve changed my mind,” you declare.

Din, terrified, attempts to sound neutral. “About?”

“The worst job we’ve ever taken. This is definitely it,” you huff as he helps you down onto a smoother boulder, taking patches from a Tusken.

He goes to use them, but you raise a hand.

“If you even think about getting near my wound with those nasty gloves, I’m going to skin you,” you threaten.

Frankly, Din is too shaken to even laugh. The silence lays there, stilted, as he removes his gloves and sits somewhat behind you, on another close stone. You’ve taken yours off, too, seeing as one is ripped all the way through.

He’s careful with the bacta patch and his bare hands, making sure not to touch your skin.

Now, of all moments, would be the worst time to find out that you really don’t have a reason to stay.

While he works, he thinks, briefly, that he should say something. “(Y/N),” he starts to say. “I—”

But that happens to be the moment he’s putting the bacta patch on. You suck in a sharp breath through your teeth, wincing. Your hand flies out, reaching for something to ground you. Of course, because something out there has it out for you, you grab his hand, forgetting that his gloves are, for once in his life, not there.

You realise, ridiculously, that his hand is warm.

And then the world around you explodes into colour.

The faded yellow of the surrounding desert is overwhelming with how it burns into your eyes alongside the brilliant blue of the sky. The surrounding Tuskens are in browns and greys, simple things, but so, so beautiful to your new sight. You breathe out, a shaky action.

Behind you, Din comes to see the same, but his gaze is stuck on the back of your head—the (h/c) of your hair and how the light catches in it, despite it being a complete mess.

You barely have the breath to gasp, but you do, whirling around to face him.

His beskar is beyond what you’d pictured: a shining, sparkling silver that could stand out on a star. No wonder rooms fall silent at the sight of him.

Din has the same thought about your eyes. On death’s door, all he’d wanted was to know what colour they are and now he knows, but it feels so useless now. He doesn’t even know what to call them. Sure, (e/c) would work, however weakly. You are...something else. You always have been, but now it’s like he can see it, the beauty of who you are so plainly painted into your features.

Din doesn’t even have the time to be afraid of your reaction before the words are slipping out. “I don’t want you to go.”

You just stare at him for a long moment, words processing.

It...kind of freaks him out.

He jumps when you fling yourself at him, arms wrapped around his shoulders in the tightest hug he’s ever gotten. Immediately, he responds, clutching the back of your shirt like it’ll save his life.

“Thank the Force,” you breathe out, just beside where his ear is under the helmet. “I don’t wanna leave.”

Din lets out a breath of relief and tugs you closer so you’re practically sitting on his lap. It can’t be comfortable, but you don’t seem to mind. When you do finally pull away, it’s to press your forehead against his helmet. It sends a swell of affection through him again, your constant Keldabe kisses. He taught you something important to his culture, to him, and here you are, using it without thought.

“Is it too late to tell you that this is the Mandalorian equivalent of a kiss?” he murmurs, more than a little embarrassed.

You laugh softly, arms reaching to rest around his neck. “And I thought you were so cool.”

“I just blew up a krayt dragon,” he argues.

“Oh, you’re plenty badass, Din,” you tease back, “just...not smooth.”

He huffs. “I’m gonna kick your ass next training session.”

A grin comes over your face and, for a second, he can’t comprehend why that would make you smile—until he realises that he just promised a next time. You’d genuinely believed he wanted you gone and Din thought you wanted to leave, but neither of you were right. 

A whine from below catches both your attention.

The child reaches up from the ground, making grabby hands.

You laugh, a noise Din echoes quietly, and pluck him from the ground, holding him in your careful hands. “Hey, buddy. Feeling left out?”

He squeaks a confirmation, his little hands—green hands, you realise, deeply amused—reaching for Din’s helmet. Once he has a comfortable hand, he bashes his head against the helmet.

Din yelps, not out of pain, but concern, grabbing for the kid, who wobbles dizzily.

“Oh, shit—” Din says.

“Woah, woah,” you get out between wheezing laughs. “Don’t do that! His head is much harder than yours.”

The kid makes a weak huff and curls against Din’s chest stubbornly.

“I think that was an attempted kiss,” you suggest to Din.

Underneath his helmet, he grins. Petting the child’s head with a gentle finger, he looks back up at you. “It was cute.”

“Very,” you agree.

Without prompting, Din reaches for your hand again, a little hesitant. You take his gladly, running your thumb across his knuckles, which makes him shiver.

“Clan of three,” he whispers.

You lift your gaze. “Hm?”

“The Armourer, she said, ‘Clan of two’ when she gave me my sigil,” he explains. “I wanted to correct her then.”

The smile on your face is beyond words. “Clan of three has a ring to it. You’re stuck with me for good now, Din Djarin.”

He snorts and raises your hand to his helmet, touching it briefly to the metal in lieu of kissing it.

Tatooine might be the worst place in the universe, Din thinks that it doesn’t matter so much where he is. Sitting here, with you and the kid, he thinks that this might be home.

*

River’s Tags: @hahaboop & @mystoragehatesme

Masterlist

[yurtletheturtlehenderson]

COSMIC - S3:E2; Chapter Two, The Mall Rats - [Pt. 4 - FINAL]

A Will Byers x Reader Series

Baffled with Mike's sudden behavior, El seeks out Y/n and Max for advice while Will struggles to get through to Mike and Lucas. Billy takes his co-worker on a field trip, and Steve and Dustin enlist a helpful ally in their top-secret mission.

⚠️: s3 mike wheeler, y/n and mike angst. more google translate. the reader eating ice cream [if you're lactose intolerant, it's dairy-free xp], mama steve loving and worrying about his children, his little henderson ducklings especially 🥰 *heavy sigh* oh yeah, kidnapping and more possible allegory to r*pe :( as usual, a marker will be placed but it plays till the end of the chapter so you only need one

🔑: y/f/o = your favorite [ice cream] order

📝: idk if the tip seems small or not but either way keep in mind this was the eighties so inflation hadn't gotten quite as bad yet. As far as the Mike stuff, I know he wasn't being possessive, he was just worried she would get caught and taken away or worse but also he handled it badly, and then everything else in this chapter just kinda rode that angsty bad decision train outta here lmao.

|| 𝟑𝐫𝐝 𝐏𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐏𝐎𝐕 ||

"если действовать осторожно... неделя длинная. серебряный--"

Robin pauses her pacing momentarily to point at the tape Dustin has in his hands.

"Wait, that last part, just one more time,"

The sounds of the wires hissing as they rewind fill Robin's thoughtful silence.

"если действовать осторожно... неделя--"

"Okay, that word!" She says, and Dustin quickly presses pause. "Um... it's pronounced... 'dly-nna-ya.'"

"'Dly-nna-ya'" Dustin repeats, nodding excitedly.

"Which is spelled—"

"-D... D, D, D..." Dustin mutters, springing up from his seat, scurrying towards the whiteboard as Robin grabs the book. "The— The chair! The chair-looking thingy!" He says, pointing to the Russian 'д'.

"Yeah, okay," Robin mutters excitedly, hurriedly scribbling into their notes.

The glass partition swings open with a loud clang alerting Steve at the counter.

"We've got our first sentence,"

"Oh, seriously?" He asks, turning around with two orders in his hands.

"Yeah," Robin nods. She drops her voice into a lower pitch and imitates a Russian accent. "The veek is longh,"

Steve's face falls. "Well, that's thrilling,"

"I know, but," she shrugs. "Progress."

With that, she retreats into the window and slides the door close leaving Steve to return to his ice cream slinging duties.

"Okay, here you go. You got uh, a vanilla with sprinkles and extra whipped cream and one y/f/o,"

Steve hands off the rest of the orders to El and Y/n who gladly take them. Max stood next to them, digging into the order she had already been handed. She only comes up to say 'thanks' in near sync with her friends.

"Wait a second," he says, a thoughtful look falling over his face as he frowns at El. "Are even allowed to be here?"

The girls freeze, once again pausing to share a knowing look with growing ice cream-mustached smiles and giggle. In a hurry, the three of them scurry for the door. Y/n nearly makes it before coming to a skidding halt that leaves her bouncing on one foot as she catches her balance. She runs back to the counter with a mischievous smile and a dollar in hand.

Steve watches confused as she tucks the dollar away in the tip jar, and sends him what he finds to be a childish wink.

"Keep this quiet?" She asks, and he almost laughs. But he could tell she was all too serious. "Also this is your tip! Thanks, Steve,"

Steve watches utterly baffled as she turns on her heel and makes a break for the girls waiting just outside and around the corner.

"Okay?" He says, beginning to trail off. "Wasn't gonna tell anyone anyway?"

She's nearly out the door when he realizes what her being here means. He hopes it's not too late to call after her.

"Hey, wait a sec!"

Thankfully, she hears him and turns back around. He motions her forward and while confused, she ultimately complies.

"Hey, uh, does Dustin know you're here?"

Y/n tilts her head as she thinks about it then shrugs.

"I'm not sure, why?" She asks, taking a lick of her ice cream.

Steve hooks a thumb over his shoulder, gesturing to the window but he pauses when he realizes it's better she doesn't know what he's doing here. He quickly plays it off and plants both hands on the counter to lean against it.

"I don't, uh— It's just that he came by earlier and he seemed pretty down about last night,"

Y/n's shoulders slumped immediately, her eyes widening a little.

"He did?" She winced, nibbling nervously on her lip as she looked guiltily at her ice cream. And in doing so, any budding feeling of anger and protectiveness vanishes in Steve. "It's just, he wasn't there when I left and I assumed he went with the guys to Mike's."

With the same, guilty look in her eyes, Y/n glanced over her shoulder at her waiting friends and Steve instantly regretted bringing it up. He sighs, shaking his head.

"Look, it's—"

"If he comes back, will you tell him I'm sorry?" She laughed a little, very sheepishly. "That we can guilt Mom off the TV again so we can a have a monster movie night like we used to, or something?"

In that moment Steve decides not to be honest with her and tell her he's probably still too upset for that, he just doesn't have to heart to. Nor does Steve have the guts to say it wouldn't matter anyway, that he's right in the back room decoding a top-secret Russian communication. So instead, he forces his lips into a firm line that was supposed to be a smile and nods.

"Sure thing, kid,"

She perks a little. "Thanks, Steve. I'll see ya later,"

"Alright, take care," he straightens from the counter, watching as she retreats back out of the shop. He sighs again, almost hating how soft and protective he's become, and calls after her, nodding discretely in El's direction. It all comes out in the form of annoyance, though, naturally. "And don't be stupid, alright?"

Y/n smiles in response and returns to her friends. Together, the three of them disappear into the crowd.

⊹ ⊹ ⊹

One of many sets of double doors swing open as Y/n, El, and Max step back out into the sunlight.

Despite their every desires to keep their special day at the mall going, the three girls knew the bus back into town was leaving shortly. Y/n takes another quick and frantic lick of her fastly melting ice cream as Max turns to El and gestures to her strawberry ice cream cone.

"Wanna trade?"

El responds with a giggle and eagerly trades off her vanilla cone for strawberry.

"No... fair," Y/n grumbles, nearly attacking her ice cream as it turns to a puddle before her eyes. She spares only a single second glare enviously at their still freshly frozen cones while she has spent between licks.

"You're not," lick. "making your," lick. "ice cr━ shit!" two licks. "melt."

The girls giggle again, wholeheartedly amused by the sight before them.

"Shut up," another lick.

"That's ridiculous," came a nearby, all too familiar whine. "Why can't I just—"

Max's face falls into a glower, pulling Y/n and El into a stop next to her. "Oh, you gotta be shitting me."

Just across the concrete entrance, fumbling to separate their bikes from the bike stands were Mike, Lucas, and Will.

Forgetting her melting ice cream momentarily, Y/n takes a moment to sigh at the ground when she realizes whatever is about to pass, will be far from good.

"—haven't got that much," Lucas says.

"Okay, what if we split it?"

"Split it with what? Does that even make sense?"

Two of the three boys continue to bicker, completely unaware of the three angry figures making their way towards them. More specifically, two angry figures and one slightly disgusted one who tosses out her nearly finished ice cream cone and the napkin she used to wipe her hands off with in the trash cans they all pass.

"Isn't this a nice surprise?" Max asks, plastering on a smirk as the three boys and their bikes come to a halt before them.

Mike's face pales when he realizes Max had caught him, and even more so when he realizes El is with her. His bike crashes to the ground, forgotten as he gapes at her.

"What are you doing here?"

"Shopping." She answers matter-of-factly, her icy stare never once wavering.

"This is her new style," Max says, eyeing him carefully. "What do you think?"

"What's wrong with you?" He spits, gesturing to El. "You know she's not allowed to be here."

"What is she, your little pet?" Max fires back.

"Yeah. Am I your pet?" El asks.

"What? No!"

"Mike, she needed this," Y/n says. "Besides, you lied to her! What are you doing here? You're not supposed to be here either."

Mike finally turns his wild gaze to Y/n, utterly baffled at the stance she was taking.

"Are you kidding me?" He gawks, ignoring her eye roll. "You of all people should know about keeping her a secret,"

Y/n hotly takes a threatening step forward. "Meaning what?"

"Meaning you would know, you're good at hiding her,"

Everyone inched closer, apart from El who was seething at Mike. Y/n, on the other hand, scoffs loudly, throwing her arms up in frustration.

"You said you were over that!"

"Yeah, well, guess I'm not,"

She looked around quickly, her voice falling into a whispered hiss. "What, so I should be locked up all day, too?"

"Maybe!" Mike said, instantly feeling guilty.

"Mike!" Will snaps, stepping forward another few inches. And so did El, her shoulder subconsciously shielding Y/n. Shielding her from, Mike, or Mike from her, she wasn't sure.

But she knew she was livid. And hurt.

Mike sighs, putting his face into his hands and running them tiredly over his face.

"I'm sorry, that was over the line," he sighs, sounding embarrassed.

"-You're damn right it was," Y/n snapped.

"But that doesn't change the fact that she really can't be here," he corrects himself, looking El in the eye carefully. "You can't be here. It's not safe,"

"I can take care of myself," El says.

"I mean," Mike sighs again, frustrated as he trips over his own words. "you and a lot of other people could be in danger if anybody starts asking questions. I just care about you, alright? And I don't want anything to happen to you, not again,"

El shakes her head, all visible anger melting away leaving only sadness in its wake.

"Then why do you treat me like garbage?"

"What?"

"You said Nana was sick,"

The panic returns to his eyes, and he and Lucas desperately try to cover their tracks.

From over their shoulder, Y/n meets eyes with an exasperated Will, and the couple shares a look and tired shake of the head.

"She is. She is sick!"

"Yeah, sick— she's sick," Lucas nods. "She's super sick. And that's why we're here, actually."

Y/n silently meets Will's eye again and makes out the subtle firm line he presses his lips into and the small shake of his head 'no'.

Oblivious to Will, the two continue.

"Yeah, w-we're shopping! Not for us, but for her, for Nana,"

"For Nana."

"Also," Mike sighs, giving El an earnest look. "we're here to get a gift for you. It's just, we couldn't find anything that suited you and I only have, like, $3.50, so it's hard."

"-super hard." Lucas sighs, giving an honest, apologetic look to all three of them. "It's— It's expensive,"

"Speaking of," came Will's, softened voice. "Here ya go. Sorry it's not real,"

He takes a step forward and sheepishly offers the small goodie bag to Y/n. Everyone watches confused and almost a little intrigued as Y/n takes it curiously. Quickly, she dives her gaze and hand into the baggie and smiles as she pulls out the small y/f/f candy ring.

"Oh, a ring pop?" She flashes Will a beaming smile as she rips open the package and slips it on her finger. "Thanks, Will,"

He nods happily, completely relieved she was this happy to get one.

Y/n's smile drops instantly when she remembers what they're interrupting and she quiets, clearing her throat a little.

"Sorry," she mumbled, sending an especially sorry look to El as her hand graces her shoulders in a gentle apology.

El sends her a weak smile, eyes falling back down. Sadly, she looks to her ice cream and then deeply into Mike's eyes as the day's events all come crashing down on her. And it's with great disappointment she realizes what has hurt her, and what hasn't.

She shakes her head softly, the disappointment evident on her face now more than ever.

"You lie," she says finally, all the more saddened to see Mike squirm under her gaze, only confirming her words. El shakes her head again. "Why do you lie?"

She waits and waits and when Mike can't give an answer, the screech of the bus's tires in the distance tells her a decision must be made. And it's with a seething glare, El makes up her mind.

Everyone watches carefully in silence as she takes three tantalizing steps until she's staring up at Mike. He's frozen, as is everyone else as he fears her next words. And he has every reason to.

"I dump your ass."

Y/n's eyes find Will's once again, this time, regret clouding them when she realizes. Tonight was meant to be spent at his house, dinner with him, Jonathan, and Joyce at least but it seems the day had different plans in mind. She stood rooted to the spot, her lips parted in shock as she processed what had just happened.

She detected sadness in Will's eyes, as she was used she had in her own but reality came crashing down, breaking her from her spell.

"I'm sorry," she sputters, more so to Will than Mike and Lucas. "I didn't think she would," she breathes.

"What?" Mike's widened eyes land on her, flickering between her and El's retreating figure. "Did you tell her to do this?"

"Of course not!" She said, eyes darting between him and Lucas sympathetically. "But it's still their decision. I'm sorry. I am,"

"Y/n! You coming?"

Y/n looked over her shoulder to find El and Max moving up the line, nearly ready to board. From there, El looked between Y/n and Mike, as if she were worried Mike would take it out on Y/n more. Y/n gave her friend a weak, reassuring smile and turned back to the guys.

Will specifically.

"I'm sorry," she said to Will, beginning to back away even though she didn't really want to leave him. "But I think I need to be with them right now. Is it okay if we take a rain check?"

Will smiled, nodding and she felt a fresh wave of guilt. She could have sworn she saw a hint of sadness but if it was ever there, he had buried it for her sake.

In a spur of the moment, she ran forward and planted a kiss on his lips before pulling back. She shot Lucas and Mike a lingering look, not really knowing what to feel for them in the moment.

And then she took off.

The three friends stood baffled, reeling from how much everything had changed so quickly. Their legs kicked into gear and followed the crowds to the bus but the doors had just swung closed. From where they stood at the curb, they could make out three familiar lingering silhouettes from behind the tinted windows, all piling in together.

Max had nabbed the window seat, El seating herself next to her. It was only a matter of moments before Y/n had joined them, plopping herself in the seat directly behind them. She peeked out over the low backs of their seats, wedged right in between them with a breathless look.

For just that moment, the three best friends sat there in stunned silence before breaking into a breathless laugh.

⊹ ⊹ ⊹

The sun had set behind even the lowest of valleys, bathing the town in a pale glow and unforgiving chill that couldn't be quenched even on the hottest days of summer. Starcourt mall was alive in every way but one; the hum of the neon lights reached every corner, but the mall had long since closed leaving it a beautiful, vibrant wasteland.

The only remaining occupants were tucked away in the backroom of Scoops Ahoy, standing before a whiteboard facing the daring truth they had worked so hard to uncover. In perfect sync, they read the words aloud with confusion muddling their brains and exhaustion filling their systems.

"The week is long, the silver cat feeds when blue meets yellow in the west."

Steve, Robin, and Dustin stand before the translation willing something to make sense. But all they were left with when they turned in for the night, closing the grated metal gate that went with closing up shop was utter bafflement.

"I mean, it just..." Steve sighs into the ground, the keys in his hand turning in the lock. "It just can't be right."

"It's right," Robin assures. When Steve returns to his feet the three of them begin their lazy journey to the exit.

"Honestly, I think this is great news," Dustin shrugs.

"How is this great news?" Steve chuckles bitterly. I mean, so much for being American heroes. It's total nonsense."

"It's not nonsense. It's too specific. It has to be a code."

Steve's face screws up into a puzzled pout. "What do you mean, a code?"

"Like a super-secret spy code,"

"That's a total stretch,"

"I don't know, is it?" Robin scoffs.

"You're buying into this?"

"Listen, just for kicks, let's entertain the possibility that it is a secret Russian transmission. What'd you think they were gonna say, 'Fire the warhead at noon'?"

"Exactly," Dustin gestures, his gaze returning up to Steve to see the gears spinning in his head.

"And my translation is correct," Robin assures. "I know that for sure, so... 'The silver cat feeds'. Why would anyone talk like that unless they're trying to mask the true meaning of their message?"

"Exactly!"

"And why would anyone mask the true meaning of their message unless the true meaning of their message was somehow sensitive?"

By now, Dustin was rubbing his triumphant smirk in Steve's face. "Exactly."

"So I guess that confirms your suspicion," Robin says, looking to Dustin who remains triumphant.

"Evil Russians,"

Robin wears a tired smile as she looks back at Steve with a dry chuckle. "I can't believe I'm about to agree with this strange child, but, yeah, totally evil Russians."

"So how do we crack it?" Dustin asks, flashing his charming toothless grin her way.

"Well, I guess we translate the rest and hopefully a pattern emerges."

"A pattern. Right, like maybe 'silver cat' is a meeting place?"

"Or a person."

"Or a weapon,"

"It's probably gonna take a super genius to track it, but..." Robin trails off when she notices she is one dingus short. "Where's Steve?"

The new duo spin on their heels where they spot their missing friend a few yards down. He had a frown screwed onto his face as he stood in front of one of the many kiddie rides, his hands diving into his pockets no doubt searching for coins. Sure enough, the clinking of coins rattling together as he purs them out in his palm confirms their suspicions.

"Hey, Steve," Robin calls, her empty hand swinging limply out in a puzzled gesture. "What are you doing?"

"Uh, it's," Steve doesn't bother answering her question and the only time he picks his eyes up off his hands is to check the mechanical horse for its cost. "a quarter. I need--" he mumbles to himself, looking hopefully to his friends. "Do you have a quarter?"

Despite her confusion, Robin lets out a chuckle, and she and Dustin quickly shuffle over to Steve's side. "Sure you're tall enough for that ride?"

"Quarter!" He yells, jumping forward to catch the coin Robin flipped out for him.

He catches it with a clumsy spin and drops his knees to insert it into the ride. They watch was Steve remains huddled on the ground, a funny look on his face as the ride begins. Robin can't resist poking fun, and does with little strain on her voice to be heard over the music.

"You need help getting up, little Stevie?"

"Shh-shh! Shh!" Steve snaps, gesturing to the galloping horse. More specifically the music it plays. "Would you two just shut up and listen?"

Robin and Dustin are almost shocked at his seriousness, but the smile remains on Dustin's face from Robin's comment. That is until it eventually slips off his face when he realizes why the familiar tune being played before them was so familiar.

"Holy shit," he breathes, locking eyes with a grave-looking Steve. Dustin looks to Robin, helping her to connect the dots as he begins shedding his backpack from his shoulders. "The music,"

He had heard it all day. They all had while translating the tape. The very tune Steve had been complaining so much about.

"The music!" Dustin cries again, dropping to his knees as he desperately fishes his bag for the tape.

How had he not recognized it? Y/n and him used to ride the Indiana Flyer at the fair as soon as they were old enough. And then the caricell, over and over every year until they were old enough to ride the bigger rides. And even then, the tune carried out across the Fun Fair where it could be heard from as far as the top of the Ferris wheel. The two of them would drag their mother every year. It was the sound of his childhood.

Dustin presses play on the tape, and as he gazes up at Robin, silently pleading for the dots to connect the sound of the song on the tape is louder than Russian for the first time all day.

But Robin only shrugs between them.

"I don't understand,"

"It's the exact same song on the recording,"

"Maybe they have horses like this in Russia?"

"The 'Indiana Flyer'? I don't..." Steve shakes his head. The look on his face made clear he wished he was wrong. He looked... unsettled. "I don't think so. This code, it... it didn’t come from Russia."

And they that unease. They could feel it settling into their chests, making their hearts beat a little faster and their stomach twisting up into knots at what he said next.

"It came from here."

⊹ ⊹ ⊹

The roads are empty, even still. Crickets sing into the night and the steady breeze taking itself through Hawkins back roads are momentarily swept up with the leaves when a lone Chevrolet Camaro pulls into Brimborne. The lot remained abandoned, seemingly, other than the figure stepping out of the car, with sweat on his brow.

The summer sun had set hours ago, taking the searing heat with it. But the humidity that clung to the air felt to be Billy like he was sitting far too close to an open fire. But still, he lumbers to the trunk where the reason for his being here lies.

The latch opens with a loud clunk, and the trunk lid opens slowly. His eyes find the contents immediately, as does the murky light from the trunk bulb onto his face.

She was still unconscious.

A foreign voice in his brain — the one who had brought them both here, the one to have put here — spoke up again without permission. And yet, it didn't exactly speak in words, but feelings. And all that shot to the surface was one thing — one word.

Good.

It was Billy who couldn't stop thinking about it. What he had done. The small part of him that fought.

[■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■]

- 𝗙𝗟𝗔𝗦𝗛𝗕𝗔𝗖𝗞 -

Among the pain, Billy feels tears building up inside him when he realizes what that tug in his gut is ordering him to do. He can also feel it happening again. He can feel himself slipping away, just as he had when he fled for the showers. But this time he fought it.

God, he fought it so hard.

But it wasn't enough.

His nails dug into the flesh of his knees that he had been clutching so tightly to his chest. That and the tears racing down his cheeks now blending with the water were the last things to happen that were truly Billy's doing.

"Billy, are you okay—?"

The last thing Billy sees before he loses control is his hand lunging for Heather's throat. His iron grip locks her in a chokehold and her hands fly to his. Desperately she claws at his hands, her nails raking into his skin but he never flinches. She feels her feet leave the ground, her toes grazing the tile floor as he picks her up and pins her to the stall doors.

Her widened, fearful eyes look deep into his but all she finds as he rips the curtain closed is the lack of human emotion within him. His eyes were hollow, the whites of his eyes running black and they are the last thing she sees before unconsciousness overtakes her.

- 𝗘𝗡𝗗 𝗢𝗙 𝗙𝗟𝗔𝗦𝗛𝗕𝗔𝗖𝗞 -

She's limp in his arms as he carries her throughout the darkness of Brimborne whose only source of light is moonlight spilling through the dirtied glass window panes hanging high above. He walks with all the time in the world, his eyes dead set on the last place Billy ever wanted to see again. The only sound to be heard within miles was the scuffle of his rubber soles scraping against the dirt and leaves sprinkled across the concrete.

The scratchy thumps of his boots turn to metal echoes as he disappears down the darkened stairwell. From there, inky blackness like the sludge coursing through his veins is all that can be seen. Little moonlight has survived the journey through the grated floor, but there was enough to illuminate Heather's body that he places onto the cement floor.

Soft, discomforted groans break through the duct tape over her mouth as she comes to. She rolls onto her back, confused as to why she feels pain in her head and cement digging into her spine.

But everything she needs to know becomes all too clear almost instantly when she sees Billy's hollowed eyes staring down at her from where he's perched above her. Panic sets in, and as she realizes all too late why she is unable to move her hands or feet. That doesn't stop Heather from trying as she fights against the restraints, eager to use her dried-out voice.

Her breath is knocked loose when Billy throws her back into the ground after she managed to sit up even an inch.

He keeps a small majority of his weight on her shoulders as he leans in close, his breath on her ear.

"Don't be afraid. It'll be over soon."

Tears tickle her temple when they escape her eyes. She prays for many things, but she'll even settle for the small possibility the sweat collecting on her skin is enough to weaken the tape on her mouth. Then maybe, just maybe she can scream for help.

"Just stay very still."

This specific hope fizzles away, drowning in her own confusion when, without moving his head, he looks to her and slowly peels the tape off of her lips.

She's too shocked to do anything. Too afraid. But she wasn't prepared to let that stop her. Heather was going to do something, she had to. She would.

But that all died when Billy suddenly stood up, looking almost disinterested in her as an eery, unnatural sound reverberates throughout the darkness before her. Slowly, her head turns to face the dark abyss when she catches movement out of the corner of her eye.

His face is as hard as stone though his eyes hold a flicker of struggle and pain when it all unfolds. Heather may be the only one in binding, but she is not the only one who is trapped. There is nothing at all Billy can do but watch as the large and bloodied mass of flesh stomps forward from the shadows, ready to feast.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

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FSFAPV Justice: "community family coalition that offers help and justice to families in the Twin Cities and nationwide that have lost loved ones to police violence" - [link]

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Shadow Songs (Azriel x Gwyn)

Chapter 14  - What We Know

Read on AO3

(Note: I had come to my attention that some didn’t know that all my Azriel x Gwyn posts are all part of a larger fanfic, so I thought that changing the title format a little would help make that more clear.) 

They all sat in silence in Rhys and Feyre’s living room

The silence had fallen over the room shortly after he’d informed everyone of what had happened. Rhys had been angry that they'd waited until morning to reach out to him. But given that he and Cassian had inspected the entire house and found no signs of the intruder they'd both decided it was best to wait. Their friend had already been getting very little sleep lately, between his responsibilities as a High Lord and a father. They were only being considerate of him. 

Rhys, however, did not appear to see it that way. His friend's gaze fell on him. 

“You didn’t immediately detect that someone had entered your room?”

Much to his own dismay, Azriel shook his head. 

“My shadows did not pick up on the male's presence until it got far too close, but I believe the cloying scent I detected in the air might have something to do with that. Still, I’m not sure how but the male made it through the wards you placed on the house.”

Everyone looked troubled at the very idea. 

“And you’re certain you saw Illyrian wings on the intruder?” Rhys prompted. 

Azriel did not appreciate the hint of doubt in his brother's voice, but he answered all the same. “Yes, I’m certain.” 

Rhys sighed and only nodded in response.

“Whoever it was definitely had wings,” Gwyn confirmed from somewhere behind him.

Rhysand looked up, his eyes meeting Gwyn's from over Azriel's shoulder. 

“Just wings?” Rhys probed.

“No, as Azriel said, the wings were distinctly Illyrian,” she confirmed. 

“You’re certain of this?” his friend asked Gwyn again, irritating Azriel. “Yes,” she reiterated. 

Rhys pushed off his desk. 

“Then we have a problem.” 

That was putting it lightly. 

“Not only was an Illyrian male able to enter Velaris without our knowledge but he managed to infiltrate the House of Wind and almost killed nearly killed one of our own.” Rhys felt the need to summarize. 

Cassian spoke up next, “I still don't understand how it was even possible. And why attack Azriel specifically?”  

Azriel would admit it was strange. But then again, it was not as though he was without enemies. Still, most would understand that to strike out against him would also be considered as an attack on the court, on Rhysand. Most would not be so bold. 

“Cassian, I know you’ve already done your routine visits. But I think its best you go visit the Illyrian camps again, meet with every able-bodied male and see if you can’t find any potential suspects.”Their brother nodded. 

“Should I go with him?” Azriel offered. 

Everyone’s gaze swung to him.

Rhys stared as though he’d sprouted an extra set of wings. Not much surprised Rhysand but his offer clearly did. Fortunately, it took only a moment for the other male to recover. 

“Azriel, let’s be honest if any of the leaders learn that you’re coming into their camps to interrogate them they’ll get their men to clamp their mouths shut. They distrust you as much as you distrust them.”

He could not entirely argue with that. Azriel did not like the vast majority of them, and obviously, the feeling was mutual. Still, he knew plenty of ways to make them talk if need be. From the corner of his eye, he saw Gwyn take a step forward. 

“But Azriel has a stake in this. It was his life that was threatened,” Gwyn reasoned, respectfully, “Perhaps, he could try Emerie’s camp. She and Balthazar would undoubtedly speak to him. So would Tobias and Zander I’m quite sure.”

Azriel turned his focus back to Rhys, interested in seeing his response to Gwyn’s interjection. The High Lord did not appear offended, instead, he appeared to be assessing Gwyn as if he weren’t sure what to make of her. Azriel understood the feeling. 

After a short silence, his friend finally spoke up.

“Alright,” Rhys’ agreed, his eyes meeting Azriel’s and then Cassian’s, “You both leave tomorrow.”

Azriel would admit he was glad not to be excluded from this mission. Because, as Gwyn said, he had a stake in this. Somehow, someway, someone had come for him. And he needed to make it all the more clear that he was no easy target.

Amren chose that moment to move from her place on the lounger. Her eyes went to Gwyn, narrowing marginally. “What is your role in all of this?”

Azriel found he didn’t much like Amren’s tone.

The female spoke as if Gwyn didn’t belong here. 

But she did.

Gwyn belonged with him.

He found himself pausing. Where the hell had that come from?

He tried to shake it off. Azriel knew shouldn’t be getting so possessive. Because it would make it harder if she ever chose to walk away. The very idea of that left a bitter taste in his mouth and an emptiness in his chest. 

The truth of the matter though was that Azriel didn’t have intentions of letting her go. He would in fact do everything in his power to make her want to stay. He only hoped that way enough. 

“I was the first to arrive and see Azriel being dangled several feet off the ground,” Gwyn replied somewhat tersely, “I hurtled a fire at the thing.” 

The small ancient female raised a single brow. 

“And did it work?” Amren asked.

“It didn’t set the creature aflame if that’s what you’re asking, but it did break whatever illusion of shrouding him. Until that moment I hadn’t even been able anything beyond a shroud of darkness. It was only after my attack that I was to make out that the male had wings.” 

Hearing it aloud, Azriel still found the fact odd. While he hadn’t been able to see a face or anything, Azriel had at least been able to make out the tell-tale signs of Illyrian wings. Yet none of the others had immediately been able to. 

“Interesting,” Amren noted.

The female used the term far too often and she rarely elaborated. It left him annoyed at times.

“I must ask Gwyn, how did you happen to be there first?” Rhys questioned. No doubt thinking it strange that Cassian and Nesa, who'd been on the same floor, had no appeared until after Gwyn had. 

For a second, Azriel expected Gywn to shy away from the question. But he should have known better. 

Gwyn stared the High Lord straight in the eye. Not the least bit intimidated or charmed by him. “Because he shadows warned me he was in danger,” she answered. 

All eyes landed on her. 

Rhys’ brows shot up. “Did they now?” he asked curiously, his eyes drifting briefly to Azriel. 

But the truth was he had no answers for his brother. Because even he did not understand how such a thing had occurred. Azriel’s shadows had never before spoken to anyone but him.

He’d not sent them to seek her out. On the contrary, when he’d realized she was coming he’d tried to compel them to stop her. Though that proved to be to no avail. 

Rhys brows furrowed.

“You’re saying that you can speak to Azriel’s shadows," he spoke, his words landing somehow between a statement and a question.

Gwyn shook her head. “No, it isn’t quite like that. It’s more so like I can sense them. Feel them. When they came to me I could I felt their anxiousness and alarm. And that was what warned me Azriel was in danger.” 

Rhys turned to him, “Did you send them to her?”

He shook his head.

His brother eyed him all the more curiously.

No. Not really.

He stayed silent. Azriel never felt the need to explain himself but if Rhys figured it out himself Azriel would not deny it.

“Your shadows have never behaved in such a way before,” Rhys remarked. 

Again, he said nothing.

“Is there something you’d like to share with the class Azriel?”

No. Not really. And so, stayed silent. Azriel never felt the need to explain himself but if Rhys figured it out himself Azriel would not deny it.

“Your shadows have never behaved in such a way before,” Rhys remarked. 

Again, he said nothing.

“It might imply that, perhaps, they trust her implicitly. That perhaps you do." 

His friend didn’t quite say it out loud but the implication was there. 

"Yes," he replied.

Rhys eyes him. "Yes?"

He nodded, "I can’t be certain but I suspect something similar." 

He glanced over at Gwyn. She gave him a smile, followed by a shallow nod. 

Azriel turned his back to his friend. "They might find it easy to trust her because Gwyn and I are together.” 

Rhysand had no visible reaction. In fact, another short collective silence overtook the room. Feyre’s voice was the one to break through the thin veil. 

“Together?” the female questioned.

“Yes,” he responded. Without him noticing, Gwyn had stepped up beside him. Wordless, she took his hand and squeezed it. Letting him know she was there, that they were truly in this together. 

Gwyn met their High Lady's gaze. “Neither of us is much for titles, but Azriel and I are together. That’s really all we can say.” 

Rhys eyed them both for a moment before he finally gave them the barest hint of a grin. 

“Well, I suppose I can’t say I’m surprised,” his brother spoke, “Azriel is the second most handsome male in the Night Court. One could only assume he wouldn’t remain single forever.” 

A slight tension that had overtaken the room appeared to ease. 

“Second most handsome male?” Gwyn asked, “According to who?”

Rhys brows rose, “You disagree?”

"Yes. I’m curious as to who claimed he was second to anyone,” she replied.

Cassian cackled. “Careful Gwyn, I’m not sure Rhys can handle that type of blow.”

Gwyn turned to Cassian, a teasing smile turning up the corners of her lips. 

“Does the high lord not value honestly and differing opinions?”

Cassian was laughing again.“Cassian, knock it off this isn’t the time,” Nesta chastised, turning her attention to her friend. 

“Are you happy Gwyn?”

Gwyn smiled at her, “I am.”

Nesta nodded. “Then I am happy for you.”

“Thank you.”

Nesta gave her friend a quick hug, then got up onto her toes and hugged him.

“We might be friends, but if you hurt Gwyn I might have to run you through with a dagger,” she whispered.

He returned Nesta’s embrace.

“I expect nothing less from you,” he teased back.

She took a step back and sent him a playful glare. 

“Congratulations, aside. I regret to say you’ll be finding yourself rather busy for a while Azriel,” Rhys informed him. 

He shrugged. It was nothing new.

“Cassian will meet with the leaders of the various camps and question the males there as needed. Azriel, Cassian will be the lead on this. Do not act unless you must and speak only to those who will do so with you willing.”

Azriel fisted his hands, a subtle move but one his old friend clearly found all too familiar. 

“I understand your frustration Azriel, but you are to hold off on taking any action Cassian is finished with his questionings. No retaliation until we know more.”

Azriel was not pleased to be told he’d have to wait for vengeance. But he called upon his well of calm. He was a patient male, if that was what was needed to ensure he got vengeance he would do it. 

"I will do a thorough check on the wards around the House of Wind. Since it sounds like only the top levels were breached and that Azriel was the only target, we will hold off on informing the priestess’ for now. I do not wish to worry them unless it is absolutely necessary. Nesta you might be better off staying here at the house with Feyre and I. Gwyn since you saw the intruder it might also be a good idea for you to join as well, on the off chance that he returns to try and be rid of you.”

Nesta made a face. “I’m not sure I want to be stuck hearing the two of you late at night, “ she commented, as though she and Cassian were anything close to quite. 

Glancing at Gwyn, Azriel could see the faintest hint of pink in her cheeks. He almost grinned at her embarrassment. 

Rhys said nothing, but he could have sworn his brother was barely fighting back a smirk. Instead of addressing Nesta’s comment though, he instead turned to Gwyn. 

"If you do not feel comfortable staying with us Gwyn, Lucien has brought it up on several occasions that you’re more than welcome to stay with him." 

Like hell, no way would he let the male take Gwyn away from him. Azriel all but growled at the idea. 

Gwyn must’ve sensed as much because she turned her eyes to him briefly before answering Rhys. 

“Thank you for your offer. If Nesta is alright staying here, I’ll stay as well.”

Good. It was settled then. 

 -

He was watching from across the room as Gwyn spoke rather animatedly with Nesta about some book they’d decided to buddy read, when he felt a shift in the air behind him. Azriel did not have to look back to knows Rhys stood there. 

“May I speak to you?” his friend asked. 

While Rhys words were phrased like a question, from the tone of his friend’s voice, and the tension Azriel could feel radiating off of his body, Azriel knew it was a command. It wasn’t often his brother adapted such a tone, but whenever he did Azriel knew he was in for an unpleasant conversation. But he could find no reason argue. So, instead, he nodded. Rhys turned on his heel and headed out of the room, while Azriel followed close behind him.  

They headed straight for Rhys' office, once inside Azriel shut the door. Certain that, regardless of what was said, it would be a conversation best had in private. 

Rhys wasted no time. 

“If you’re using Gwyneth as a rebound or ego stroke I must ask that you rethink it,” his friend let out, turning around to face him, “You know how important she is to Nesta. And Feyre has grown rather fond of her as well, though I suspect that’s partly due to Nesta and Gwyn’s closeness.” 

Azriel saw red. His friend's words felt like a slap to the face. It had been a long time since he'd wanted to hit his brother. But in that moment he was fighting the urge hard. His syphons flared bright. 

“I would never hurt or use Gwyn that way.” 

The fact that Rhys’ would even suggest such a thing was enough to heat his blood. At Azriel’s tone, his friend at least had the decency to appear remorseful. The male sighed heavily, leaning back against his desk.

The fact that Rhys’ would even suggest such a thing was enough to heat his blood. At Azriel’s tone, his friend at least had the decency to appear remorseful. The male sighed heavily, leaning back against his desk. 

“I apologize. There’s simply so much going on at the moment, and to be frank I’m not sure I can deal with anymore surprises.” 

Azriel could understand that. He knew it couldn’t be easy, shouldering everything his brother did. But that did not give him the right to pass judgment where it was not deserved. Fortunately, Rhys seemed to quickly regain his senses. 

“Still, it is wrong of me to suggest that you’d do something like so low.” 

His friend rubbed a hand down his face, his shoulders sagging beneath the weight of whatever it was that was troubling him. Azriel wanted to ask. But if his brother had felt like sharing with him, he would have.  

So instead, Azriel changed the subject. 

“I didn’t realize Gwyn’s well-being was such a concern of yours.”

Rhys eyes narrowed. “I care for all under my care and protection.” 

“Like you did Nesta?”

The comment came out before he could stop it, which was unlike him, but it was too late. He could not take it back. 

Rhys’ eyebrows slammed down.

“I admit I’ve made mistakes in the past. But my concern here is genuine.” 

“And my feelings for Gwyn are genuine.” 

His friend studied him. “You’re serious,” he noted. 

“I wouldn’t have asked her to give me, give us, a chance if I wasn’t.” 

And it was true. Azriel rarely spoke his mind, let alone express his feelings. The fact that he had with Gwyn meant something. 

His friend studied him a moment longer before nodding. 

“I am glad to hear it. Because cauldron knows she has been through enough.”

Of course, Azriel knew that. He had been there.

But he had a feeling Rhys was also speaking from his own personal experience and trauma. And so, Azriel stayed silent. It was yet another thing his friend never spoke about. A subject none of them ever touched.

His friend met his eyes.

“She deserves to be with someone who cares and respects her. If that is you, then I am happy for you both.”

Azriel nearly sighed in relief at that. It was not as though he needed his friend’s blessing, but it was still nice to know he had it. But of course, Rhys was not finished. 

“And what of your feelings for Elain? Or for Mor?”

It was a subject they always seemed to come back to, especially the latter. 

“That’s in the past.” 

Rhys raised his brows.

“I’ve spoken to Elain. She knows where I stand, and she understands. As you’ve surely seen, there is no awkwardness between us.” 

“And Mor?” his friend prompted. 

Azriel fell silent. 

Mor, he had not spoken to. But he wasn’t sure why Rhys kept on insisting he do so. Over the centuries they’d all been together, he’d made no secret of how he felt about Mor. She had to have known. But she never made any mention of it, never appeared to reciprocate, instead using Cassian as a shield and maintaining only friendship between them. 

He’d respected her boundaries and had not pushed. Now, he was finally able to say that they truly were better off as friends. Perhaps, Mor had always known that. 

“For centuries you two used Cassian as your buffer, do not think I did not notice, yet never once did either of you ever sit down and have an honest conversation about your feelings. If you say you no longer feel a certain way about her, then I believe you. However, I know you Az. You won’t admit it, but you want closure. You can never have it if you do not speak to her first.” 

He stared at his brother. Loathe to admit, Azriel could see that he might have a point. 

 “I’ll speak to her soon,” he replied. 

Rhys nodded. “Good.” 

-

Gwyn had just finished getting settled into the room that Feyre had shown her. 

Earlier Mor had winnowed them back to the House, while Cassian flew them the rest of the way so that she and Nesta could fetch a few of their things. Fortunately, she didn’t have much in the way of personal belongings. The only other thing she'd had to do was inform Merill that she would be unable to assist the older female in her research for the while. Merill had given her a dirty look, but surprisingly did not question her further. 

If Gwyn had to guess though she believed the other female blamed Azriel for her lack of focus and attention in the library these days. And while that was not entirely false, it was an overly simplistic view. Still, she had not elaborated on the matter. Gwyn did not owe Merill anything. Besides, she had far greater things to worry about than what the female though of her. 

Namely the unknown threat hanging over Azriel's head and now potentially hers for interfering. There was also the matter of the mysterious book. Rhys and Amren had not spoken of it again when she'd seen them at the High Pair's house, but Gwyn had not forgotten. She'd also yet to mention to anyone the nightmares she'd had as of late. They weren't every night and they sometimes started off differently, but they all ended the came. With her terrified and out of breath, perhaps, being away from the library away from where that strange book might be hiding would give her some reprieve.  

On the hand, Gwyn would admit the change in surroundings did have her feeling a touch anxious. The High Pair obviously had a lovely home, but at the end of the day, it wasn’t her home. Though, if she spent time thinking about it, she wasn’t sure the House of Wind her home either. 

The truth was the last time Gwyn had truly felt at home was back when Catrin had alive. been She sobered at the thought. These days she thought about her sister less and less. No longer needing the comfort of the past to bring her peace or happiness. She reminded herself time and again that she was no longer alone. And she took comfort in knowing that. 

Still, her mind was restless and she felt the sudden urge to read outside in the garden she’d seen the last time she was here. Picking through her things for Nesta’s latest recommendation, she set off to do just that. 

It was easy enough to find. Gwyn was rather good and memorizing places she’d been before. The moment she stepped into the garden, she encountered someone who she always thought looked utterly at home amongst the flowers and sunshine. 

Elain. 

The middle Archeron sister was the one Gwyn knew the least well. 

They hadn’t spoken much to each other since that uncomfortable night in which Gwyn had discovered the necklace she’d been gifted had been meant for lovely female before her. 

She didn’t think there were any hard feelings between them. After all, though they’d hardly spoken, they’d seen each other plenty of times since and they always greeted each other with polite smiles. So at the very least things weren’t unpleasant between them. 

But they were a touch impersonal. 

Gwyn knew she could easily turn around and pretend this encounter never happened. The other female seemed utterly focused on the flowers she was pruning. She gave no sign that she sensed Gwyn’s presence, though perhaps she was simply hiding it. If that were the case the female would probably be more than happy to ignore Gwyn’s departure as well. 

However, leaving felt like the cowardly thing to do. And Gwyn was no coward. Elain was Nesta’s sister. No matter how close or distant they behaved that fact remained the same. Elain would always be important to Nesta. 

Gwyn knew and understood that from experience. Besides, anyone important to Nesta was important to her. 

“I take it the care and love you show these flowers are the reason they’re blossoming so well in a place they do not usually grow.” 

Elain turned at the sound of Gwyn’s voice, predictably giving her that polite smile. “That’s kind of you to say.” 

She was not just saying it though. Gwyn had genuinely read somewhere that plants could respond to the way they were touched. A kind and gentle hand truly did make a difference. She’d have to track down that book at some point and share it with Elain. If she wanted, Gwyn could hardly make her read it if the other female did not want to. 

Elain’s attention drifted back to the flowers once more and it was only then they Gwyn saw something in the other female’s face. A lingering sadness she’d not noticed before. 

Without thinking, she blurted out the question. “Are you happy here?” 

At her question, Elain turned to face her. 

“You mean in my sister’s home?” she prompted. 

"No, I mean in Prythian.” 

They lapsed into silence moment. 

“I’m not unhappy.” 

They lapsed into silence moment. 

“You’re not unhappy...” Gwyn repeated aloud, not knowing what to say to that. 

And so the silence between them stretched on for longer. Until it got to the point that Gwyn worried she might have upset the female. 

Thankfully, Elain spoke up a moment later. 

“I know my sisters are happy here, happier than they ever were in the mortal realm. Feyre found Rhys, and Nesta met Cassian. And by some miracle the men they love also happen to be their mates, destined for them by some greater power.” 

Elain looked melancholy as she spoke the words. “How blessed is that?”

It truly was an amazing feat. Fae could spend their whole lives, however long, searching for their mates and never find them, if they existed at all. The fact that Feyre and Rhysand, and Nesta and Cassian had was truly a great fortune. 

“But me...my mate...” 

Her words quickly caught Gwyn’s attention. Lucien the female was speaking of Lucien.

At times she almost forgot that Elain was her friend and mentor’s mate. The two rarely spoke, even when they were in the same room, sharing little more than a couple of glances. Lucien never brought up the other female in conversation and so Gwyn had no idea how he felt about their situation. From the look of it, Elain didn’t seem too keen on it. 

“I don’t know him. The so-called fates decided he was for me. But he...he stood by as his Hight Lord helped the King of Hybern bring Nesta and me into this world. Perhaps if he hadn’t, perhaps if Tamlin had not found us...”

Gwyn understood what Elain could not bring herself to say.

“Then perhaps you wouldn’t have been made into a Fae against your will.”

A quiet minute passed with Elain only nodding, and so Gwyn went on instead.

“A part of you blames him.”

Gwyn saw the other women tense at the implication, but she made no attempt to deny it.

“Yes,” Elain finally replied. 

They fell to silence once more. Gwyn was once again uncertain of what to say. 

“You think I’m wrong, that I’m being too harsh on him.” 

Gwyn met her gaze, shaking her head in answer. “It’s not my place to tell you how to feel.” 

And she meant it. Gwyn couldn’t imagine how the other female must feel. To have the life you’d believed you’d live stolen from you, to have the male you’d given you heart to decide that suddenly you weren’t worth loving anymore. Simply because, through no fault of your own, you’d been forced to become the very thing he’d been bred to hate. 

It was enough to break someone. 

From the small bits she’d heard from Nesta, her friend had once feared that very thing. That her sister would be broken. But her fear ultimately proved unnecessary, because Elain had managed to find the strength to pull herself out of her grief and start to live again in a way even Nesta hadn’t managed to at first. Gwyn respected that. Elain eyed her as though not truly believing her words. Gwyn maintained eye contact, willing Elain to see her sincerity. She received a kind, genuine smile in response. 

“Az is lucky to have you,” Elain commented, “I think you’re good for him, like you were good for Nesta.”

Gwyn smiled in return. Glad that they could speak so openly. 

Studying Elain’s face, she could not help but get the feeling the younger female saw far more than people gave her credit for.

Another silence fell over them. But it was not heavy or awkward. Not in the slightest. Instead, Gwyn took a seat on the nearest bench to read while Elain continued about her pruning. They continued on like that, in amicable silence, until the sun dipped below the horizon.

-

Night had descended, and so Gwyn made her way back to her room. Upon opening the door, in spite of the darkness, she knew someone was there. At first she grew alert, but a second later she sensed she knew exactly who it was that waited for her in the dark. And she knew she had no reason to be afraid. 

“What are you doing here?” she asked. 

Azriel, who stood before the window, facing the outside, turned toward her. Moonlight shined upon him, highlighting the beautiful planes of his face. Sometimes it was almost hard to believe he was real. His beauty almost otherworldly. 

“I wanted to see you. Are you not comfortable with my being here?” 

Gwyn gave him a small smile as she approached, heading straight into his arms. He enveloped her in his embrace, kissing her forehead before tucking her under his chin. 

“How are you?” he asked. 

She shifted in his arms, pressing her chin to his chest so that she could gaze up into his face.

“Tired. But I wasn’t the one that was attacked, nor the one who has to be up early tomorrow to head for the Illyrian camps. I can’t imagine how exhausted you must be.” 

Azriel tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear. “I’m alright, Gwyn. I am certainly no stranger to troubles such as these.” 

No. She imagined he wasn’t. No doubt the night court had dealt with far greater threats before. Things would be alright, she reassured herself. They had to be. 

“How do you feel about the others knowing about us?” he asked suddenly. Staring up into his eyes, she noticed her seemed to be studying her carefully. As though he was wary of her answer. Gwyn couldn’t imagine why. 

“I am glad they know. Everyone has been kind and supportive. Have they been different with you?” 

Azriel smiled. “No, and I am glad to hear it.” 

Gwyn felt certain there was something he wasn’t saying, but she did not push. 

“Where are you staying?” she asked. 

“I’m in the room a few doors down, past Nesta and Cassian.” 

She nodded. “Is there any way you might consider staying here instead?” 

He raised a brow in question. Gwyn almost shied away in embarrassment, but she fought the urge. 

“It is just I’m not particularly comfortable in unfamiliar places yet. But for some reason I did not feel that way when I was staying at the Illyrian camp with you. Something about your presence, it puts me at ease,” she revealed honestly. 

At her words, Azriel’s entire expression softened. His eyes took her in almost reverently, though she might have been projecting. She felt his hand stroke the back of her hair and his hold on her waist tighten the smallest bit. 

“I’ll stay,” he answered, his voice barely above a whisper. 

Gwyn grinned up at him and he gave her a small smile in return. She also got the impression that he wasn’t only speaking about tonight, and that thought only had her grinning wider. 

- - -

Author’s note: It’s been far longer than I would have hoped my dears, but I did my very best to have to in time for Gwynriel appreciation week. So I hope you all enjoy it. No steamiest quite yet, but I promise I am working up to it. Though it will likely be a little while longer. Thank you all for sticking it out with me. And know that I love reading all for your comments and feedback. Until next time my dears =D

- - -

@azrielsshadowsdanceforgwyn @bittermuire @ofstarsanddreams @corrdolium @toolazymyguy @inkdrinkershadowsinger @itswrongsong @dealingdifferentdevils @rhysmoira @brucexselina @inejjg @rhysmoira @gwynnight @fairytamy @bluegold08 @amandapearls @highqueentaey @lioness-says @chosenfamily-valkyriequeens @princessofmerchants-reads @cantkeepmyeyesoffofyou-x @gwynrielsupremacist

@my-fan-side @spookylightkidranch @velaaaris @keramzinskies @zoyavnikolai @elucienschild @lovelywordsandwine @ladygwynriel @parisakamali @mirubyai @trashforazriel @the-bookish-valkyrie @genya-berdara @ladyllbookstan​

[medical-gal]

Death by a thousand cuts

I have been thinking about writing this for months now. Even before I decided to quit the residency at my previous job.

COVID has been kicking our ass, true, but that was (is) true for most healthcare providers all around the world.

No, my struggle started a bit before that actually.

First some background, I have been working at one of the biggest most famous ID clinics in central Europe. The clinic is in a different country than I am originally from so there was a bit of cultural accommodating at the begging. But we were a big group of ID interns/residents/fellows and specialists.

I don't actually remember that much from my first year working there. And I couldn't figure out why, but then I read in some study that when u experience a high dose of stress and/or sleep deprivation for a long time, your brain kinda stopps being able to transcribe short term memory into a long term.

I was working 100hours/week, sometimes less, sometimes more. After a year and a half, when the last half I worked in the ID ER for five months, I always stayed after working 24 hours, sometimes over 36hours, and I would see and treat 70ish patients. Nobody from the older docs would help me out, nobody from other interns either bc usually they would have their own kind of hell to take care of.

The fact that basically, inexperienced doctors are taking care of patients never really phased my ex-boss. Her mantra was that if there was a problem that you cannot resolve, you can call her and she would advise you. Which most of the time was true, I must say that.

But we all have been young docs, barely out of our medical school garments, and sometimes as it happened, we could not recognize there IS a problem that maybe needs a more experienced opinion.

I am often confronted with this idea or more like a culture, of pretending that once you are an MD you don't need help and asking for it is a kind of weakness and that then you are forever on the list of WEAKLINGS.

And let me say this only once.

That's absolute bullshit.

Anyway, the first time I decided to quit I worked there for about a year and a half, I went for a long-expected holiday, I took three weeks off, had interviews and talked with my bf about my options.

Second thing...my man, bless his beard, would support me no matter what. He is almost 10 years older than me, so he has more work experience and I find it reassuring to discuss stuff like this with him bc I know he will not sugarcoat it. He said that I should dig my heels in and last at least one more year till the end of my "internship". As a "resident" who worked at this specific department, I wouldn't have a problem finding another job. We r basically the equivalent of a french legion of medical professionals (when u work in this specific department and everyone knows it, I will come back to that later).

So I took his advice. Thankfully as a part of our training, one of those parts is a year-long internship at the internal medicine department, which I did shortly after we had that conversation and guys, that was a revelation of how medicine and just...work and life can be experienced. There were enough docs for a floor, an attending who had the time to manage and advise us. I´ve grown that year as a doc so much. Other internships were mandatory so I could have become (equivalent of) a resident, and it was a general surgery, anesthesiology, radiology, microbiology etc. But I did them all and became a resident.

The moment I came back to our clinic, my boss would put me in our outpatient department. Which I have never worked on before. The head of the department has quit a few months before, and I had no idea what to do there, bc it's a very different type work. The only thing my boss told me when I spoke of my concerns were "you will learn".

Thankfully the previous head of the department was a good friend of mine and she would always answer my questions and requests. Suddenly I no longer had to deal with the hectic life of an ID floor or ER, no sepsis, meningitis, etc.

Most of my patients were the chronic type...Lyme, chlamydia, mycoplasma... let's say it literally drained the life out of me. But I managed. Also, I started to work for their outpatient office which takes care of patients with chronic hepatatis. That I enjoyed more.

I also started to dip my toes in vaccinology, either planned like for travel but I started to be more interested in preventive care in the immunocompromised and my own phantasmagoria was to make a palliative care team in our hospital. Bc, we had none. And then a wonderful thing happened, other docs, older experienced, great at their work, started to refer their patients to me specifically.

There were more examples of the utter a complete FUCK U(s) which were kindly provided either by the system or by the head of the department or the hospital.

Then covid hit and the shit hit the interstellar space.

I still can't make myself remember the first few months bc it actually causes me to go into a rage fit, and honestly, I am done with that kind of negativity.

I hold out for a year. Year of such shitty treatment from the chief and our hospital head. No thank you- s or you are doing a good job or we r all on the same ship.

No.

People will say that I quit bc of the money. And that's not true, tho it did irk me a bit. All the other ID specialists working at different hospitals would get covid bonuses every month. We got jack shit. Again, the best biggest most know ID clinic. We were the first and oftern the ONLY ones who would test for/diagnose/hospitalize/treat a patient who had covid FOR MONTHS in the beginning.

I mean, the medical community is small, the ID community even smaller so yes, we were able to compare and contrast the work at different ID departments in other hospitals bc our friends worked there. And all of them would go speechless when they would hear from us what we were living thru.

At one point at the beginning of the pandemic, ALL the ambulances would go thru our ER department and we were supposed to decide where the patient should go.

AN EXAMPLE

Ambulance with a woman who has known colon cancer, had a fever, stomach as a rock and is projectile vomiting. I was supposed to decide where she should go and the surgeon would be super pissed when I said that I don't think she has COVID but without PCR I can't be sure but I think there is a bigger pressing issue. I remember him saying:

"well if anyone else gets infected at our department and dies, it's on you."

fun.

There were other examples of seriously stressful episodes which I and my coworkers lived thru, for which we were not trained for, advised, or properly supervised. At a certain point, I started to take anxiolytics before and during my all-nighters bc I didn't know what I would do with all that stress which was so callously shat on me and my coworkers.

For a few months, I stopped working nights, only thru the mercy of my coworkers who saw how exhausted I was and would take my shifts.

Anyway, after only two months I had to start working nights bc I needed the money. The basic pay for docs was just not enough without the extra from night shifts. Talk about exploiting.

The moment however when I decided to QUIT, when I was DONE, when I actually heard my heart break, was the moment at the end of the previous year. They decided to start vaccinating in our tiny small vaccination centre. Let's say a "shit storm" brewing is the light version of events that ensued.

But basically, as I was trying to discuss with my boss that we are all exhausted, that this wave is not slowing down and that throwing more work at us, the docs and nurses and other staff, who are overworked, is not a good idea,

What she basically said to me is that who says things like that is lazy and that if she can handle it everyone must be also.

The thing is..most of us were at the bring. Some would handle it with casual and calous sex, drugs (legal or not), a bottle of wine before sleep. A coworker ended up with antipsychotics.

But u know,

we were all lazy apperently.

I realized there is no way out of this other than quitting. I could not continue being so tired and sad all the time. I took two weeks off, really thought about it. Had diarrhoea and nausea for a week as I realized I will have to quit :D

On a Monday I came back, handed in my notice. Basically what she told me and how she reacted made me realized how right the decision was.

I had to stay there for another three months bc that's the law, but my mood changed significantly.

I got another job in a smaller ID department, working with amazingly kind people, but that's another story.

But that was the only interview I actually looked for and did. I, however, did get several job offers from different types of medicine. From heads of different departments in my old hospital to smaller general medicine chain offices who are looking for ID specialists, to insurance companies.

Like I said, french legion.

Or Runway and your boss is Miranda Pristley. Once u survive that, u survive anything.

But at my old work they would keep hitting you with wave after wave of passive agressive comments about how if u quit, u wont be able to find anything as"prestigious" as this.

There were many other exmaples of a shitty and questionable situations which were treated as "normal" but there is not point on getting on that rage train.

Contrary as it might seem, I am greatful I got to live thru this, good and bad, bc now I know what I am and am not willing to sacrifice for a job. No matter how much I might love it.

[watchmegetobsessed]

Forgiving - Tom Holland

alright so this was vaguely based on a dream i had? idk how to feel about it, but i felt the need to write it bc it’s been on my mind for two days so here we are.

summary: You and Tom like to experiment sexually. After having your first ever threesome with him and an unknown guy you realize it was not what you wanted but you’re afraid to come clear to Tom. 

word count: 2.3k

warning: slightly sexual? kinda NSFW, not too detailed threesome, some emotional stuff going on i reall don’t know

masterlist

Sex has always been about experiments for you. Ever since the beginning, your curiosity has been driving you along to try more things, find what you like, expand your boundaries. It has been all about being pleasured and to pleasure. Through the years you can easily say you’ve tried more than the average, explored unknown territories from time to time, mapped your own body, figured out what works best for you. It was all just about satisfaction, not too much about the emotions, until you met Tom.

The shy smiles he sent you at the pub that night, keeping his gaze fixed on your while his friends were trying to catch his attention, he surely caught your eye. He luckily worked up the courage to talk to you, ending up talking with you for hours before it was closing hours. The two of you exchanged numbers without hesitation and the rest is history. It’s been almost an entire year and you are confident to say you are completely and utterly in love with him. You found the person who doesn’t just clicks with you on the field of humor, interests and passions… but he shares your curiosity about undiscovered levels of sex.

You still remember the open and honest conversation you had with him just two months into the relationship. You felt nervous to bring it up, a little scared about his reaction, but he seemed just as excited as you, interested to try out things you’ve already did. It took the two of you some time to catch up with each other and get to the part where new things were unexplored by the both of you.

Experiencing these things with Tom made it all way more intense than before. The trust and love you’ve been feeling since the beginning turned it into something so much more intimate and memorable. See him grow, delving into sides of himself he hasn’t connected with and just be there for him, with him, makes you feel fulfilled. It surely brings you another level of satisfaction you haven’t been able to experience with anyone else.

You don’t think anything into it when the idea of having a threesome comes up. It has surely been a thought you played with, but didn’t feel ready yet. However, when it just casually comes up between the two of you one evening, you are surprised to see how interested Tom has been too.

“Definitely thought about it,” he hums to himself, glancing up at you from his phone while you lie next to him, tugged under the covers comfortably.

“In which setup?” you question, your teeth sinking into your bottom lip.

“Both,” he confidently answers. “But I have to admit, I thought more about the two women one man version,” he smirks and you smile back at him.

“Yeah? Had anyone in mind for the third party?”

“Not specifically, no,” he truthfully admit and you believe him. An agreement has been made in the beginning to be open and honest about anything regarding your experiments and you trust Tom with keeping his word as you do the same.

“How about you, Darling?”

“I have a few celebrities in mind, but that doesn’t count,” you smirk at him coyly before bringing back the seriousness into the conversation. “Would you want to give it a try?”

Tom thinks about it, clearly chewing his answer before he nods shortly, his eyes returning to yours.

“I think yes. But only with a person we would never ever meet again.”

“I agree,” you smile at him.

Somehow, in the upcoming weeks, the situation progresses fairly and quite steadily. Following a few more discussions you end up choosing to have another man participate in your intimate session and the two of you reach out to a professional party, wanting to make sure you don’t just fetch someone up from the street. You choose a guy based on three photos and a short description. His name is Lucas and he seems like a genuinely nice guy, it all seems like it’s going to go smoothly, he is even up for signing and NDA, something you both agreed would be essential in your current situation.

You don’t feel particularly nervous that evening you and Tom head to the hotel where you booked a room for the occasion. It was evident you wouldn’t let the third party into your bedroom, so Tom was quick to look for a room.

Holding hands, you arrive and check in, Lucas texts you that he’ll be arriving in ten when you walk into the elegant looking room. The bed is huge, could easily fit three people and you bet Tom paid extra attention to this detail.

“Hey,” Tom catches your attention when there’s still a few minutes until Lucas arrives. His hand slides into yours, squeezing it gently. “Whenever you want it to stop, just tell me, alright?” he softly tells you and it warms your heart to know that he just wants to make sure you’re comfortable with whatever happens.

“Same goes for you,” you smile at him. Leaning down he kisses you lovingly, murmuring a quiet I love you before letting go of you.

All your past experiences in sex couldn’t prepare you to what a threesome would bring to you.

It all starts just fine. Lucas is just as likable as you thought, completely open to anything you had in mind. Tom has one rule that he makes clear in the beginning: Lucas can’t kiss you, that’s just for him. And that’s a rule you easily agree with.

After a short round of do’s and don’ts you finally get down to business. Right from the beginning there’s a slightly numbing feeling in the back of your mind that you just can’t put anywhere and you are not even paying enough attention to it to figure it out. One thing follows the other and you are so focused on what’s in front of you that you are too overwhelmed to analyze your own feelings that keep just piling inside you, pushed down inside your guts until they finally erupt.

It’s happens when Lucas is inside you for the first time. Immediately, you think it must just be the unfamiliarity that you are too used to Tom, so you keep going, focusing on your boyfriend who is kissing you in the meanwhile, ushering his hand to his erection. You’re eager to please him first and utmost, but each time Lucas slides inside you, it’s like something breaks in you.

You don’t want him to be inside you. You don’t want anyone else either, just Tom. It doesn’t feel right, you want to stop it, but then you get scared, because it seems like Tom is enjoying himself and you don’t want to ruin the experience for him. So swallowing your tears you keep going until your body refuses to continue. As you get off of Lucas, you try your best to make it look like you just want a change, your hands eagerly pull Tom with you, urging him to take Lucas’ place and when you finally feel him inside you, you still can’t enjoy it the way you’d want. Clinging onto him, you are breathlessly praying to forget what it feels like to be touched by someone else than him, but the foreign, burning feeling of Lucas’ touch still stains your skin and you wish you could just shed it, get rid of it. Burn it.

Drained. That’s how you feel when the night eventually ends. Lucas doesn’t stay any longer, he thank you both that you chose him and wishes you a great rest of the night before he takes off. Lying in bed, you are still fighting your tears back, feeling nothing like yourself. You hear Tom making his way back to the bed, but before he could see the torn expression on your face, you quickly jump out of bed and lock yourself up in the bathroom. With no clothes on, you don’t waste any time to stand under the hot water, hoping it would wash away this restless feeling. Sitting down in the walk-in shower you take some time to figure out what you really feel.

You remember clearly the lustful look in Tom’s eyes, the way he seemed to be enjoying it fully. And you just now realize that’s what hurt more. That it didn’t affect him the way it affected you. Feeling another man do things only Tom does to you made you want to scream, it simply didn’t feel right and you wanted it to end. While it seemed like he didn’t. Like he didn’t mind seeing you with another man and it makes you question if he loves you the same way you love him.

Didn’t he feel jealous? Did he like seeing you like that? Didn’t he want it to stop? The questions flood your mind entirely, making it impossible for you to think about anything else.

Time is completely forgotten as you remain seated on the ground, the water flowing down your face, mixing with your salty tears. You didn’t even realize the bathroom door opens and Tom walks in.

“Y/N?” he calls out and your eyes snap up at him, meeting his gaze that’s filled with despair and confusion. “Baby, what’s wrong?” he asks, immediately getting inside the spacious shower, kneeling down, his arms going to wrap around you, but you move away and he freezes as a sob erupts from you. “Fuck, baby, please talk to me! What’s wrong?” he begs, desperate to figure out what’s gotten you so shaken up, but you don’t feel like you are able to talk. You just cry and cry and he stay right there until you feel like there are no more tears to shed.

“I fucking hated it,” you breathe out eventually, not even daring to look him in the eyes. “I fucking hated that he wasn’t you. I didn’t want anyone else, just you.”

“Why didn’t you tell?” he asks and you can tell he is getting mad now and he has every right. He told you to speak up if something doesn’t sit right with you, yet you chose to keep your mouth shut about it. You sniff before daring to look into his eyes again, feeling smaller than ever, like you were nothing in that moment.

“Because you liked it. I didn’t want to ruin it for you,” you admit truthfully and Tom exhales sharply through his nose. It feels like eternity until he finally speaks up.

“I didn’t,” he simply says and your mouth falls open.

“What?”

“I didn’t like it.”

“Really? But you looked like… I thought—“

“Darling, you always seem to forget that I’m an actor. I pretend for a living,” he states matter-of-factly.

“How would you pretend to have a fucking erection?” you snap, letting your arms to fall from around your knees. Tom lets out a soft chuckle.

“My imagination was proved to be stronger than I expected. I wished he was gone the whole time. Fucking hated seeing someone else touch you like I do.”

“So then why didn’t you speak up?” you ask the same question he prompted just a few seconds ago.

“Because I thought you were enjoying it.”

His eyes are soft on you and most importantly: forgiving.

“We were proper idiots,” you breathe out, hands reaching out for him as you finally let him scoop you into his arms, your head lying on his naked chest.

“Seems like we both broke out rule,” he mumbles, his hands continuously brushing up and down your bare back and arms.

“I’m sorry. I should have told you. I just wanted you to enjoy it, I love knowing that I get to give you all these new feelings.”

“I’m sorry too, baby. I was afraid you’d think of me different if I didn’t go through with it.”

Lifting your head up you look into his eyes as you cup his face in your palms, your thumbs gently caressing his cheeks.

“I could never see you differently, Tom. I just want you to be happy and satisfied with me.”

“I am. Always.”

Pulling him down your lips meet his and you are finally able to kiss him without feeling any guilt. He kisses you back passionately, as if he is trying to strengthen the words he just spoke.

“I have a new rule,” he says out of breath when he pulls back.

“What is it?”

“From now on, sex is just about us. No third party.”

“Tattoo this on me, I don’t want to live by any other rules,” you blurt out making him laugh and you smile seeing him with that wide grin.

“Alright. Come on, I think we both need to sleep it off,” he tells you as he helps you up from the floor.

Though you’d love to replace your bruised feelings about sex with some new experiences with the only man you love, for now you still just want to lie in bed with his arms around you and that’s exactly what happens.

Not bearing to stay in the hotel room any longer, the two of you quickly pack everything up and go straight home. Stripping from all your clothes you’re quick to climb under the covers and make yourself comfortable in the safety of your own bed that still only holds the sweet mixture of your and Tom’s scent. He wraps his arms tight around you as you nuzzle against his side, a hand lying flat on his chest, feeling his steady heartbeat under your palm.

“I love you,” you whisper quietly, pressing a kiss to his abdomen as he squeezes you gently.

“I love you too,” he mumbles, already half asleep, but you know his words hold the truth.

-

general/forever taglist for Tom Holland

i do separate taglists for different people, but not for different works of mine! if you ask to be on my Tom taglist, you’ll be tagged in all of my Tom fics!

@zaahidahhh​ @shawn-youth​  @wildflower-cth​ @imaginashawnns​ @haute-shawn  @learning-howto-be-myselfx3​ @cutepenguin1​ @madatmendes @harrysleftchelseaboot​  @bookwormmusiclover15 @dontworrysunflower​

if you’d like to be taken off or added to the list, please let me know!

[folkloreguk]

Querencia (prequel)

A/N: I haven’t written anything in this format in so long, so I hope it’s okay! Someone once asked me to write a prequel to my previous work “Querencia”, so I finally got around to it (after like 2 years rip dfghjk)

[!you don’t have to read both of these parts to understand either one!]

genre: optional bias (male) x reader (female), fluff, explaining how they ended up together, a tiny bit of smut but it’s marked so you can skip if you want, badboy!bias, nerd/shy!reader, her parents are kinda judgemental (only mentioned), secret relationship?, this is an absolute train wreck lmao

words: ~5.2 k

(H/N means “his name”)

ok strap in for this…every time I write a badboy!au I lose a piece of my sanity

basically you used to go to the same school as him

but that’s the only association you had with him because you never actually talked to him in school

he was known to be a “bad boy”

not as in being a horrible person but rather…

he liked to challenge teachers/adults when he didn’t agree with them

and they couldn’t do much because he ended up having pretty decent grades and most of the time his arguments were valid

you had heard your fair share of stories about him

of him getting into a fight with the captain of the football team

apparently, he had stood up for a girl because said captain tried to take advantage of her at a party when she was drunk

you remember being lowkey impressed but didn’t condone violence either way

so, at the same time you were kind of intimidated by him

there were other stories circulating around

of him hooking up with half the school

in quite inappropriate places if I may add

but no one really knew what was the truth tbh

not that it really mattered to you

you were a typical good-girl-nerd-kinda person and so was your friend group

which meant you weren’t even paying attention to him half of the time

plus you thought you’d never see him again after graduating from school

until sooner or later you wouldn’t be given any other choice

because when you walked into your first ever university lecture, he was there

literally one row in front of you???

you were shook because apparently he was studying the same subject as you??

he had even more tattoos and piercings now

one tattoo covered almost the whole front of his neck

he had black boots on and his pants were ripped at the knees

and obviously he had to be wearing a leather jacket

not that you were staring at him (yes you were)

frankly you thought he looked hot

great it’s your first day and you’re already failing to pay attention

and then he turned his head a little and smirked at you???

suddenly you loved looking at your professor and not him

but since you hadn’t paid attention you were left with questions after the lecture

unfortunately the professor was gone before you could ask them

and your social awkwardness made it hard for you to just start talking to a random stranger

so when he go up and made his way to the end of the seats he had to walk past you

“HEy I have a question” you blurted out when he was at your level

the fact that he was so relaxed talking to you made you even more stressed

and he helped you luckily

then, before he could say anything else but the answer to your question, you had escaped the conversation

because perhaps you still found him a little intimidating

but when you walked out of the hall, he quickly caught up to you

“Hold on, do I know you? You seem familiar” he asked

so you had no choice but to explain to him that you went to school together

he was actually really polite to you

but you had sworn yourself education would come first for you, boys second

so you got out of that situation as quickly as possible

the next two weeks you saw him at lectures but always kept out of his way

he said hello a few times and you would nod and smile shyly

within days he had collected a bunch of girls that often sat with him

you guessed he was staying true to his reputation after all

then one day you were in the lovely park behind your university building because you had a break between lectures

you had brought old bread to feed the ducks in the little pond

but suddenly they all swam away from you, over to the other side of the pond

and you couldn’t BELIEVE

he was sitting there, throwing pieces of his perfectly fine sandwich to the ducks all while putting on an extra holy expression

so you went over to fight (not literally lmao)

he greeted you by saying “The ducks made you stop avoiding me?”

you were shook because how did he even notice

“What? You don’t have enough girl-attention yet?” you said

“Not from pretty girls like you” he said

you must have given him a severely disgusted look because he quickly changed his flirty expression

“What made you avoid me? Did I ever say something wrong to you?” he asked

“No you didn’t…you just don’t seem like the crowd I’d hang out with” you confessed

“Wow, I didn’t take you for the judgmental kind” he said

and he looked pretty upset actually??

“I don’t think you’re a bad person” you said

“But I’m home at least by 9 pm every night to study, my parents look at me like I’m a saint, I’ve never been in a relationship and I get nervous when someone as much as raises their voice at me…you strike me as the complete opposite of all those things” you added

without missing a beat, he asked “Don’t they say opposites attract?”

you realized maybe you really had written him off too soon…or perhaps you had worried that he would take your attention off your studies too much

which wouldn’t have been surprising considering how your first lecture with him had gone

and from then on you tried to be nicer to him

sometimes he voluntarily came to sit next to you in class

you didn’t understand why

because you barely spoke to him due to being awkward and when you did you felt like he judged you for being so shy

he had a way with words and within days you found yourself thinking of him more

his stupidly handsome features, tattooed knuckles and pierced eyebrow…it all attracted you maybe a little too much

it was terrifying to you…how he talked to you so easily and already you were eating right off his spoon

what if he was only playing around and you were nothing but a toy girl to him

but then you cursed yourself for saying that…he said he wasn’t a bad person and you were going to believe so unless he proved himself otherwise

spoiler: that never happened

one autumn night you walked out of university after class, it was dark already and pouring rain

you realized you had forgotten your umbrella at home…but you had to walk there by foot…absolutely fantastic

so you pulled your hood over your head and braced yourself to get completely soaked within seconds

suddenly you heard a voice behind you

“Let me bring you home” he said

“No worries, I’m fine” you tried to tell him

“Come on. You said you live twenty minutes from here. If you get on my motorbike I’ll get you home within a few minutes” he said

you were like “Motorbike??”

“Yeah, come on, it’s over there” he said, and he walked ahead of you

basically he didn’t really give you time to argue

when you didn’t follow him right away, he turned around and gave you a look

“You’ll only get a cold if you walk home in this weather” he said

although your parents had drilled into you the idea that motorbikes were dangerous, you went with him after all

he offered you his spare helmet and you put it on

but you were struggling to close it

so he helped you

he was focused on the helmet, but you were staring at him just because you could

his hair was completely soaked by now and water drops were running down his black leather jacket

he had a habit of biting the inside of his cheek when he was concentrating

and with his hands almost on your face, it was the closest he’s ever been to you

it made you weirdly nervous tbh

but before you knew it he had closed the helmet and told you to get onto the motorcycle behind him

“Hold on to the back of the bike or to me” he said

you were surprised at how he didn’t urge you to touch him

and at first you held on to the tail of the motorcycle but the moment you hit a speed bump you changed your mind QUICKLY

your arms swung around his waist tightly and you felt his chest move when he chuckled

like he had said, it only took a few minutes to get you home, and you told him the way there

and surprisingly you really liked being on the motorcycle???

you had thought you’d be scared but it felt amazing

except for how freezing cold the wind was on your wet cheeks ☹

shortly before you pulled up in your street you told him

“You should let me get off a little earlier…my mom will kill me if she sees me on a motorbike”

he didn’t argue but stopped two houses before yours

you felt like the rain had gotten even worse so you really didn’t have time for big words

you quickly thanked him and he gave you his famous smirk before you ran home as quickly as possible

when you had reached the front door you turned his way and he was still there, making sure you got inside

looking at him there, in the downpour in his cool jacket and on his motorcycle, your cheeks involuntarily got hotter

when you got into your room that night and checked your phone, you had one new message on Instagram

you opened it and it was from him???

“Take a warm shower or you’ll be sick tomorrow” it said

he must had sent it seconds after you had entered your house before he had driven away

he really became a bigger mystery to you from one day to the other

because you had no idea what all of this meant???

maybe you should have gotten the hint way earlier

but you didn’t really know the first thing about dating so how were you supposed to know?

but then around two weeks later something else occurred

again, you had class until the early evening

on this specific day, your university was hosting a party for the new students

technically, you would have fallen into that group of new students

but you weren’t one for partying and after being in class for hours on end, all you wanted was to crawl into your bed and rest

so when your course had ended you made your way out of the university building

and you could tell the party had already started because of the music playing

plus there were people all over the place

some were already drunk…you would have been surprised but also this was university after all

you quickly stepped out onto the street and began walking in the direction of your home

from somewhere, you suddenly heard voices

they were making gross noises, as if calling a cat, and asking “sweetheart, do you have a minute?”

when you turned your head, you saw a group of (most certainly) drunk men-boys goggling at you

and because you didn’t slow down or even react to them, they walked after you

you told yourself they would leave you alone if you only walked far enough from the bus station they had waited at

but inside your pocket you clenched your keys between your knuckles

all of a sudden, something touched your shoulders

you almost had a heart attack and raised your hand out of your pocket

“You didn’t wait for me” H/N said from next to you

he placed his infamous leather jacket around your frame and swung an arm around your shoulder

you were about to tell him he had scared the living hell out you

but he was only glaring at the disgusting guys behind you

“I suggest you go home and sleep it off. And learn to take a hint from a girl when she’s this visibly uninterested” he said

the enraged stare he sent to the group of young men made even you feel slightly uneasy

but it worked…they distanced themselves from you if only hesitantly and with a clearly pissed off attitude

“Thank you” you said and were about to give him back his jacket

“Nothing to thank me for. And I gave you that because your sweater looks really thin. Keep it for now” he said

you were taken aback…as always

“Why aren’t you driving your motorbike today?”

“I am, but it’s parked around the corner here. Want me to drive you home?” he asked

and he gave the look again

which look you may ask

the one in which he stared at your eyes and then at your lips…and then your eyes…and then your lips

and his lips were so pretty

“You know what I want?” you asked, “I wanna know if there’s anything you want from me”

he furrowed his brows in confusion

“Why are you always being like this to me?” you went on

“Are you trying to get into my pants?” you blurted out

and then instantly regretted it  

especially when he said “Do I really seem like that kind of person?”

“I’ve heard stories about you…” you said

“What kind of stories?” he asked

“Of you hooking up with half of our school back then” you said

he laughed???

and then said “And does it matter how many people I’ve had sex with?”

“It makes me think that’s what you want from me, too. And if that’s the case, I’ll have to disappoint you” you said

“Jesus, Y/N. I want to date you” he said

when I say you were shocked it would be an understatement

hot-tattooed-bad-boy wanted to date you??

and you must have signaled those exact words just by your expression

because he said “I’m telling you again, opposites attract. Don’t you at least wanna give it a try?”

of course you wanted to

“Alright…but I’ve never done this before” you said

“We’ll take it slow, I promise” he said

and then “That means I can finally tell you how goddamn adorable you are”

was it gonna be like this forever??? he compliments you and you feel like your cheeks are on fire???

probably

“I’ll bring you home, come on” he said, swinging his arm around your shoulder again

even this gesture made you shy

you didn’t even know how to respond

and this time, being behind him on the motorbike felt like a whole new sensation

now you were close to him, knowing he wanted you there as much as you did…

and it 100% made you scream on the inside

when he dropped you off, you didn’t know if you were supposed to hug him???

you awkwardly handed him his jacket back

“So, where are we going on our first date?” he asked

“First date?” you asked

“Yeah…people who date usually go on dates, don’t they?” he teased you

“Um…what about the cinema?” you suggested

“Fine, let’s see what they’re showing and I’ll text you, okay?” he said

and he texted you remotely fifteen minutes after you had arrived at home that night

…

so you went to the cinema the next day

before the date, you were essentially losing your mind

what were you supposed to wear??

would he care what you wore??

but even if he didn’t, you wanted to look pretty

your anxiety was kind of going through the roof for hours before he even arrived

he had picked you up, somehow looking even hotter than usually??

or maybe those were just your hormones going insane

“You look beautiful” he said when you had climbed onto the motorbike behind him

“And you look handsome” you had replied

his smile had a faint shyness in it, but only for the blink of a second

at the cinema, you weren’t sure how to act differently around a crush than when you were with friends tbh

did you want to hold his hand?? hell yeah

did you do it?? absolutely not

did you want to point out obsessed you were with his body art?? most certainly

did you?? oh no way, you weren’t gonna expose yourself like that (yet)

luckily, he was easy to talk to and had the patience of a saint

he grinned at you when you would become shy, as if it wasn’t the most embarrassing thing EVER to you, especially in front of him

he also probably called you cute like 13 times whilst you were waiting for the movie to begin alone

in the dark, your hands brushed whenever you both reached for the popcorn at the same time

when you looked over at him, he was chuckling

“Are you doing that on purpose?” he whispered

“No way!” you whispered back

“No? I am” he said

you didn’t even know how to respond to that

but he seemed very pleased with himself when he tilted his head at you flirtingly

were there supposed to be this many butterflies in your belly at only your first date?

what have I gotten myself into??? you thought

…

afterwards you walked back to his motorcycle, shoulders brushing now and then

you were in the middle of analyzing every second of the film you had watched, gesturing around in the air and talking excitedly

he leaned against his motorbike and grinned at you in pure admiration while he listened

mid-sentence you suddenly said “Sorry, did I get too invested in this? Do you wanna bring me home now?”

“What? No, if anything I wanna listen to you for another few hours” he said “Do you wanna come back to my place?”

you didn’t know if he was flirting or joking again, but his face was serious

plus you weren’t sure what ‘coming back to his place’ really intended

and once again his sense for reading your mind struck

“I’m not talking about having sex, if that’s why you look so worried. This is only our first date, remember? If you simply don’t feel like it, that’s cool, I’ll bring you home” he said

“No, I want to go with you” you quickly changed your mind “But I have to be home by midnight, or my parents will worry”

“I’ll get you back home by then” he said, smiling in triumph

…

his flat impressed you in a couple of ways

you admired that he already lived alone

plus it was so much more organized and cleaner than you had expected it from a college boy

his bedroom was your favorite part of the apartment

there was no doubt it was his and only his place

posters of his favorite films were plastered on the walls, his bedsheets were dark, a neon sign hung above the headboard of his bed and in the corner, a vinyl player stood

you loved the windowsill that gave you a view out of the fifth-floor flat and had the impulse to sit down there, to watch the cars pass by on the street underneath

“make yourself at home” he had said

and somehow you had ended up on his bed, right next to him

he let you rest your head on his arm while he listened to you

not only did you discuss the movie you had seen

you also talked about literally anything either of you loved

and you realized quickly, that aside from the different way of living, you had surprisingly many things in common

he put on his favorite plate on the vinyl player so you could listen to the music he loved

when he laid down next to you again, he offered his open arms

for the first time, you put your cheek against his chest, listening not only to the music but also his heartbeat

you remember liking his cologne and how warm he was

“I’ve never been so close to someone who wasn’t my friend or family” you admitted quietly

“Does it feel different?” he asked

“Of course” you said

did he not realize???

how your heart hammered against your ribcage and butterflies were flooding your belly and how there was only him in your head and his stupid cute smile and his tattoos and piercings and deep voice and ohmygodhisvoice

but when you looked up from his chest and checked his expression, he looked equally as fond as you felt

“Being with you feels different from being with other girls to me, too” he said

“It feels so much better” he added then

“What do you see in me that you don’t see in them?” you asked suddenly

“I have to admit, at first I thought it was cute, teasing you and seeing you get shy, well, I guess it still is. I liked the idea of getting to know someone with such a completely different image, so sweet and good” he said

and as he did, he softly brushed his hand over your lip

you thought you were going to have a heart attack

“But damn you’re so funny and kind…how can I not want you this way?” he said

and he looked so honest, almost vulnerable, a sight you never thought you’d see

“In which way?” you asked

“In every way” he said

and with one look, he erased all fears you’d had about him and how he might have felt about you

suddenly you understood why people went on dates all the time and searched for love…

at some point you realized how it was past midnight already

he drove you home quickly, and luckily you didn’t get into too much trouble with your parents

this time when he dropped you off, he gave you a hug that made you want to stay in his arms forever

from then on, your feelings could only get worse and you were stressed about what it would do to you

you thought your crush was bad then?? it was nothing

within the next weeks, you fell head over heels for the cliché bad boy and there was no way to stop it

you had told him you didn’t want to prioritize a relationship over your education

so 90% of your dates ended up being study dates

although he was the biggest distraction in your life, this way you at least got a little something done

usually, it went a little like this:

you’d be sitting down at a library table, with him across from you

your head would be buried in a book within minutes, only occasionally looking up at him

and he’d be busy telling you all things he could possibly come up with:

“Have I ever told you how gorgeous your eyes are? I know, even if you’re not looking at me”

“There’s a really cute girl here, but she’s ignoring me. Do you think she likes me too?”

“Hey, do you wanna go out with me sometime, like…on a date? A real date?”

“You know what other people do at the library? There’s an empty space way in the back, I can show you…”

yes sometimes he’d say suggestive things to you

but they were jokes, simply a part of his character

he never pressured you to do anything

even your first kiss took a while to occur

it was one night when he brought you home from a date (this time a real one)

when you said your goodbyes, you suddenly felt an overwhelming wave of affection

his eyes were so warm and only on you, always

softly, his tongue swept over his bottom lip, teeth toying with his piercing

“Can you kiss me?” you asked

something sparked in his eyes…he had won even more of your trust, and rightfully so

his fingers gently lifted your chin, and you always thought you’d be nervous through your first kiss, but no…it was serenity

it was butterflies peacefully floating and fireworks going off all at the same time

had you known how good this felt, you would have asked him to kiss you way earlier tbh

the whole evening until you fell asleep you couldn’t stop smiling

and you liked to think even in slumber, the corners of your mouth had been curled upwards because of him

from then on, kissing him had turned into your favorite pastime

it was especially bad when you tried to have “study dates” at his place

90% of the time, your studying turned into making out with him

oh? you’re taking a break and getting a glass of water from the kitchen? oops now you’re on his sofa, sitting in his lap and kissing

the way he handled you with such confidence and made flirty remarks all the way through your make-out-sessions only reminded you of his experience

sometimes you felt bad, knowing he was holding himself back

other days you wished he wasn’t so hesitant with touching you less innocently

but sometimes you did stop him, if his hands wandered a little too far down your torso, or if things seemed to get too steamy

he would always apologize, even if you told him there was nothing wrong

but his confidence made you feel more comfortable with every time you were in his arms

!!!SMUT AHEAD IN ITALICS

one day you were in the middle of watching a movie on his bed

but all you had been thinking of were his lips and hands

when you kissed him, things quickly turned more intense

only this time you asked him to go further

initially, he was worried

“I wish I could make this more special for you” he said

“If it’s with you, it’s perfect, no matter where and when” you assured him

the first time, he was the most gentle he’s ever been with you

because he had never pressured you and you had chosen this exact moment yourself, you weren’t even close to as nervous as you thought you’d be

and from then on, you only became more comfortable when it came to sex

you could tell he loved showing you and trying new things with you

and before you knew it, he was actually showing you that empty space at the back of the library he had joked about

usually, you were hesitant to do anything risky in public

but when it was late and the library was nearing closing hours, it was almost fully vacant

he could never get enough of your innocent eyes while your lips were wrapped around his cock, kneeling on the carpet floor of the university library in front of him

he’d never get over when he fucked you from behind, two of his fingers in your mouth, muffling your moans while you were hidden behind the bookshelves

other nights he’d show up outside of your house in the middle of the night, just because he missed you so much

*cough* querencia *cough*

there was something about nighttime that made you feel as if you were the only two people in the world

then it would be him and you in his bed, on his kitchen counter, his sofa, his shower or any random wall of his apartment

now you might have understood why the girls loved him

but they didn’t love him the way you did

!!!SMUT ENDING

he loved showing you off to his friends

some of them looked equally as intimidating as him

but as you had learned, most of that was simply looks and wasn’t to be taken seriously

when you hung out with his friends, he had you sitting in his lap, usually bragging about something you had done or said to him

you were like his personal, pretty gem and he was making sure everyone knew

and as much as he wanted you to be known to his friends, you wished you could have told your parents about him

one day, they would understand how much you loved him

they would be able to look past his tattoos and pierced skin and see how amazing he was

but for now, he was your little secret

every night, he sent you a goodnight text right before you went to sleep

sometimes he’d attach a picture of himself

in his pajamas, with messy hair and heavy eyelids, even he looked almost cute to you

other nights, when he was still out, it’d be a mirror selfie, with his hair pushed back perfectly, lifting his head so you’d see your favorite tattoo of his on his neck

his clothes pitch black and shirt lazily tucked into his belt on one side

his eyes would have the cocky gaze you knew from when you first met him

only now it was only meant for you

his message would read:

“I love you angel. See you in your dreams”