#eun writes

[eunchancorner]

Post-Rescue Publicity (TTT)

The following is a transcript of an announcement made aboard the Toppat Airship at 8:16 PM, [DATE REDACTED], following the rescue of Toppat Leader Henry Stickmin from the Wall. Henry’s rescue was coordinated primarily by Carol Cross, Mr. MacBeth, Geoffrey Plumb and Reginald Copperbottom.

Henry: Attention all Toppats. Let me make it clear now that I am eternally grateful for your rescue. Without you, I would likely spend the rest of my life in the Wall, or have died trying to break out alone. All Toppats who helped in coordinating my rescue will be promoted shortly. However, I also have some grim news. It has come to my attention that we have some traitors in our midst. While I will not name anyone, know that I have my suspicions. If these traitors would like to be redeemable in my eyes, report to my office after this announcement. If not, I will personally hunt you down, and see to it that you are stripped of your status with us. And know that I have already identified one, but for their own sake, they will remain anonymous. On an unrelated note, Reginald Copperbottom and his Right Hand Man are being demoted from their VIP status in the Clan. Both will now dine in the public cafeteria and no longer have access to VIP-only areas. Should either of these two be found in any VIP areas, they will be detained for insubordination. I will also be taking measures to… tighten up security, knowing that at least one person seeks to kill me. Understand that I will not be taking any more chances with my own life. After dealing with any traitors who choose to step up, I will make an announcement for the promotion of Carol Cross, Mr. MacBeth, Geoffrey Plumb, and anyone else they confirm had a hand in my rescue. Thank you, have a wonderful day, and it’s good to be back.

[babyjakes]

you all over me.

〈 disclaimer: this blog posts content not suitable for individuals under the age of 18. minors are strictly prohibited from viewing, sharing, or interacting with this blog. for more information on this blog's commitment to protecting minors, read our full statement here. 〉

event | kinkmas 2023

prompt | double penetration

pairing | soft!dark!daddies!steve rogers and ari levinson x little!reader

warnings | dark ddlg dynamic (soft!dark!daddies of captive!little!reader.) dub/non-con. size kink. reader is held down and fucked. stretching. loss of anal virginity. unprotected double penetration (vaginal and anal.) mentions of anal training/stretching/fingering. clit rubbing. crying kink. praise and encouragement. mocking/humiliation. forced orgasm (with implied previous forced orgasms.) overstimulation. they come in her. little bit of aftercare.

word count | 1,386

an | this is written in the same au as clear blue water, with captive!reader and her soft!dark!daddies.

Tears poured down your damp cheeks as your face was tucked into the warm crook of Steve's neck. Arms reaching up weakly, you almost wanted to cling to the safety of his broad form as he lay beneath you, heavy breaths harmonizing with your own.

But that wouldn't do for your daddies- not for either of them. "Come on, babydoll. Where's that pretty face," the blonde crooned as his hips thrust upward over and over, rocking your own. His hands were on your waist, Ari's just above them as both the men worked to keep you upright and in place, their massive lengths pounding into you with steady rhythm.

They had been fucking you like this for what felt like hours, but the sensations of fullness and overstimulation you were experiencing were still just as overwhelming and horrible as when they had first pushed into you. Steve had gone first, both of the men knowing you would tolerate his part better. They were a bit concerned when you were in tears from the vaginal penetration alone, but as usual, they wouldn't be discouraged. As difficult as it was, and as pitiful as you were to watch as you were held down and split open, Ari was eventually able to work himself into you as well.

As they kept their four strong hands on you, working you up and down over their throbbing cocks like nothing more than a fleshlight with a pulse, you honestly couldn't tell which forceful insertion felt worse. It was all blurring together, the world nothing more than a streaky haze through your steady tears. The men shared a sympathetic glance with each other before Steve refocused his attention back on you. "Poor girl," he murmured lowly, bringing a hand up to brush away your tears with his thumb. "Know it's so hard, little one. So hard to take both your daddies' cocks at the same time, isn't it?"

"So full, aren't you, baby?" Ari nodded in agreement, his oversized member stretching your poor little bottom to its absolute limit. Despite the generous amount of lube they'd used and the time they'd spent patiently coaxing your tiny hole open with their greedy fingers, nothing could ease the horrible burning feeling that bloomed through your lower half as you were taken in the ass for the very first time.

"Look so pretty like this, all stretched out stuffed full of us," Steve groaned, his cock twitching so hard within your aching walls that you could feel it, your poor tummy spasming in response. To the man lying comfortably on his back, there had never been a sight quite as beautiful as this: watching from the front as your tiny holes were so helplessly violated, large hands holding you in place and giving you no choice but to sit there and take it, your perky tits bobbing perfectly as your figure was worked at a steady, punishing pace.

And though he couldn't see your chest as well, or the pretty little faces you were making as your body was used and abused so sinfully, Ari's view from behind you wasn't anything to turn his nose up at, either. He loved the way your back arched up as their dicks kept you angled forward towards Steve, your adorable ass bouncing in rhythm as his cock tore into your throbbing, achy hole. He could easily keep you going with just his hands alone; with both him and Steve being so much larger and stronger than you, it wasn't difficult for either one of them to overpower you and allow the other to make better use of a second pair of hands.

Which is just what Steve did as his partner held you up and in place, giving him the signal of a nod. "Go ahead, Stevie. Let's give some attention to that pretty little clit of hers," Ari suggested. Steve spit on his thumb, bringing the other hand down to pull back its protective hood as he smeared the clear wetness all over your poor little bundle of nerves. Your body jerked harshly at the stimulation, but you couldn't do anything to stop them or squirm away; you were completely helpless, having no choice but to let the blonde rub your exposed little nub in quick, harsh circles.

"Please, p-please... n-no!" you choked through your tears as your whole body began to shake with sobs.

"C'mon doll, doesn't that feel good? Know you like it when we pull back the hood and rub you right there, right on your cute little button," Steve frowned and faked worry at your cries, though he and Ari both knew perfectly well the way their actions and words were tormenting you.

"That's right," Ari mused from behind you as he kept your trembling body moving across their stiff lengths, "our pretty girl loves having her sweet little clit rubbed. Makes her come so hard, doesn't it Stevie? Poor baby can't help it when her daddies play with her clit, but it sure is cute to watch her try and fight it."

"So cute," Steve hummed in agreement, watching intently as your breaths began staggering, your little feet kicking weakly as your knees shook and struggled on either side of him. "Oh? Looks like she's getting close here," the blonde sang as he continued his skillful work over your slick, sticky nub. "Can feel her little pussy fluttering- what do you think, babydoll? You gonna be a good girl and come for your daddies?"

Watching as your buildup continued, Ari and Steve shared a knowing nod, both increasing the speed of their respective roles as their cocks pumped more vigorously inside you. This is the moment they had been waiting for; of course they were hoping to come as you did. A few orgasms had been forced from your trembling form earlier as you were held down by one and stretched out on the other's fingers, but this was meant to be the grand finale, the climax you would all share, whether you were willing or not.

"Can feel her squeezing us- she's getting close," Ari grunted as their dicks clapped lewdly into your dripping holes. "That's it, sweetheart. Come on, almost there..."

Your resistance was a losing game. As much as you fought and defied them each time, a sense of helplessness was never absent from within you; you knew you'd be forced to come. And with both of them thrusting into you at an almost immeasurable speed, and Steve's torturous hands working your clit the way he knew best, there was nothing for you to do but let them have their way with you. Eyes squeezing shut as your tummy tightened, your little toes curled as your orgasm was ripped from your faltering grasp. You came long and hard, Steve and Ari's triumphant words of praise merely echoes as heat and shocks of ecstasy overcame your exhausted body.

Warmth burst in your core as you were pumped full of both the men's come, Ari's fingers digging in almost painfully around your waist as their cocks swelled and sputtered within you. When you were finally coming down from your impressively long high, you let out a soft, broken cry as Steve finally eased your body down to rest limply against his front. "Shhh," you could hear him humming soothingly, someone's hand rubbing your back as you sniffled and sobbed into your captor's chest. "Easy pulling out of her," he was murmuring to Ari as the world seemed to slow around you.

"You're okay, baby. You were so good for us," the brunette was praising you softly from behind as he shifted a bit inside you, trying to measure how careful he needed to be as he and his partner now shifted their focus towards damage control.

"Don't cry, little one. Daddy's here, Daddy's got you," Steve kissed the top of your head as he cooed at you, his broad arms cradling you lovingly as you clung to him. You were desperate for any comfort and tenderness you could get at this point, even if it was straight from the hands of your abusers. This is usually how you wound up at the end of the day, a weeping mess in your daddies' arms, and they wouldn't have it any other way.

[eunuchve]

tags: dacryphillia, implied overstimulation, overprotective neuvi, mdni. a.n: *sighs* god fuck im deffo down bad for this man. pairings: neuvillette x fem!reader.

Neuvillette hates seeing you cry, whose heart aches when tears fall from your eyes, even if it's only caused by a dramatic scene in an opera or a heartfelt song performed; who protects you from all harm, keeping you safe from all danger.

BUT

Neuvillette loves it when you cry while he grinds his cock to your cunt, licking his lips in satisfaction as he holds your thigh open. Whose smirk grew wider when your pathetic mewls escaped from your reddened lips; How he can feel his cock(s) twitch in delight inside of you while you writhe underneath him, trying desperately to get out of his grasp as he drove you to another orgasm.

[dyaz-stories]

found an island in your arms || Eun Hyuk x Reader

word count: 1.4k

warnings & tags: angst, eun hyuk deserves a hug and he gets one, eun hyuk is a little controlling towards the reader

previous one-shot

A/N: my entry for day two of @neohumanmonster's Turning a New Leaft event! Prompt: Change in Nature. While this is in relation with yesterday's entry, there is no need to have read it to understand this one, it just provides a little more context.

Eun Hyuk is more tense lately, more irritable. Everyone can feel it, though most people chalk it up to the dwindling rations and the growing fear that the army simply isn’t coming to save you. You can tell that Eun Yu doesn’t believe in that, though, and neither do you.

Eun Yu doesn’t seem to have an actual explanation for her brother’s out of character behavior. She pokes and probes and throws out cutting remarks to see what sticks, but she doesn’t seem all that worried either.

“He does that sometimes,” she answers you bluntly when you ask if she thinks Eun Hyuk is doing alright. “There’s probably something he wants to fix. I’m sure he’ll get there. He just needs a little push.”

That doesn’t satisfy you. You don’t like to sit idle while people are in pain, don’t like to sit idle at all, actually, even if someone is hammering that you’re doing it ‘for the greater good”. But the thing is, you and Eun Hyuk… don’t get along that well. You clashed a bunch in the beginning, before you were outvoted by the people who thought Eun Hyuk would bring them safety, at least. It was a short-term solution, what he was offering, you’d argued — to which he had replied that yours was a death sentence.

You still admired him. The decisions he had to make on a daily basis couldn’t be easy ones to make, nor were the sacrifices. Of course, you still often believed he chose wrong, but you had to admit that he had kept most of the group alive until now, and considering the circumstances, that was truly impressive.

You just wish that he would let you do more. Instead, he’s constantly getting in your way, particularly when it comes to helping the infected. ‘Your abilities could help the whole group’, he’d say. ‘We can’t afford to lose them because you trusted someone you shouldn’t have.’ It drove you insane, how easily he’d interfere, always with these pseudo rational arguments that you never really bought were genuine ones.

It felt as if they were just for show, and as such you never felt all that guilty for going against his orders.

You weren’t dumb. You wouldn’t put others in danger unless they were willing to risk themselves for something. But you also refused to let others get hurt through your own inaction. So if you had to sneak around to see Hyun-Su’s in order to treat his wounds and bring him food, then you’d do as you damn pleased, and neither Eun Hyuk nor anyone else had any say in that. It was your life, and it was your decision.

Still, you can’t say you’re thrilled when you find Eun Hyuk waiting for you when you exit Hyun-Su’s so-called room. He’s leaning against the wall, hands in his pockets, and he gives you an annoyed look when you come out.

“What did I tell you?” he asks you coldly.

You grimace. The two of you are almost the same age, and you hate that patronizing tone he insists on taking with you.

“Hyun-Su needed help,” you say. “There is a limit to what even you can ask of me.”

He’s silent for a while. You notice him clenching his fists, and something unusually dark passes in his eyes. His jaw tenses, a vein bulges on his forehead. You think you’ve done it now, that you’re going to get an earful — even if you still don’t quite understand why. There’s simply no reason for him to care that much, and the lack of control is blatantly unlike him.

You’d run into him often, before this whole— thing— started. He was always quiet but sweet, would smile politely when you got in the elevator, maybe exchange niceties with you when you met in the lobby. He’d leave early and come home late, with the look of someone who hadn’t taken a breather all day, but it never appeared to have any effect on his temper.

That’s what’s throwing you off right now. How angry he seems to be.

After what feels like an eternity, he exhales, relaxes his hand.

“I guess you’re right,” he says, but his voice sounds too even now, like it’s forced. “I can’t force you to do anything. I just wish you’d consider that—” He cuts himself off the second his voice becomes strained again, looks away from you.

None of that is normal for him.

“Eun Hyuk,” you say, taking a step towards him. “Is there something wrong?”

He stares in your eyes for a second, and for that second, you think that maybe he’ll give you an honest answer.

“Everything is wrong,” he says in the end, and again, you know it’s nothing more than a half-truth. Then again, you can’t blame him for not telling you. “Can you even remember the last time thing went right for us?”

It’s not that he’s lying, it’s just that you know he’s not being genuine, and so you don’t bother continuing that line of discussion. It unnerves the other residents when you drop a conversation that is clearly going nowhere, makes them think you’re avoidant, but you think Eun Hyuk understands it. Close enough, anyway.

“You should still tell someone,” you tell him.

“I— What?”

“I get why you wouldn’t want to tell me,” you say with a shrug. “I still think you should tell your sister. Or Jae-Heon, I guess, if you’re more comfortable with that, but I get why it can’t be me.” You take a step towards him, put a hand on his shoulder. You do it slowly, as if you were trying not to spook a skittish cat. Eun Hyuk glances down at your hand, but makes no movement to get rid of it. “I’m here if you need me.”

He scoffs, looks away from you, pushes his glasses higher on his nose. But you don’t let go, and he doesn’t actually move away from you.

“I mean it,” you say softly. “If you want to talk, or if there’s any other way to help you. Just let me know.”

He closes his eyes. You wait for it to sink in, then take your hand off, hoping you haven’t pushed a boundary already. As you break contact with him, though, he grabs your wrist without warning, and pulls you into him. Your chest collides with him as he wraps both arms around and his chin comes rest on your shoulder.

You’re surprised by how strong his embrace is, how he clearly doesn’t want to let go.

“Eun Hyuk?” you squeak.

“Just— Just give me a second,” he says, voice so low you barely hear it. “Please. Just let me have that.”

You feel your heart almost breaking at the desperate plea. Slowly, you close your arms around him, start rubbing his back. You’re not sure what’s happening, not completely, but you know he’s warm against you, and you know you need that contact, too.

Seconds go by, until he takes a step back, clearing his throat. He refuses to meet your eyes, but you don’t miss that his cheekbones are dusted pink now.

“Sorry, I—” Then he lets out a long exhale, and appears to get himself back under control. “You offered.”

You’re not fooled in any way by that, but you still nod.

“And the offer still stands. If you need any help, you know where to find me.”

Another long exhale.

“You— Why— Why would you—”

“Because you need help,” you answer. “You’re the one who’s looking after everyone, and I want to make sure there’s someone looking after you, too.” Eun Yu does, sure, but Eun Yu’s a kid, and that’s a lot of responsibility to put on her shoulders.

“Thank you,” Eun Hyuk mumbles, still not looking at you. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

Then he gives you a vague nod and leaves the hallway without once looking back.

Your eyes follow him, worried. You’re afraid he’s reaching his breaking point. This situation is revealing things about people, about yourself, too, even if you don’t like looking at it. Clearly, it’s changing you.

You can only hope that Eun Hyuk will withstand that change — and be by his side for as long as he needs you to.

hope you're enjoying this! tomorrow's entry will be for hyun-su ^-^ as always, reblogs and comments are strongly appreciated and keep me motivated and writing :)

more writing for sweet home

[bu99erfly]

KWON EUNBI SABOTAGE, 2nd Single Album

[jeanvanjer]

Moon Dong-eun, who wanted to study architecture until those bastards took away her future, being the one who destroys each and every one of their homes is poetic fucking justice.

[mykoreanlove]

Unraveling fate

It is said that humans live a blissful life as souls up in the sky before they decide to incarnate onto the earthly realms. 

Up there everything is effortless and sweet, so perfect that we couldn’t ever imagine it properly. Yet, they decide to give up their eden perfection to come down to earth. Why you may ask?

Because they get bored. Too much of anything is deadly, even if it’s something as precious as blissful love. 

Hence, they make plans to come down to earth in order to play. Some souls are rather boring, whereas other souls are quite dramatic - making up a full play for them to enjoy. They look for other souls to play their part - mothers, fathers, villains or lovers. 

„You’re gonna do this to me and I’m gonna do that to you and we may hate each other for a while but in the end it will be all so sweet“, they giggle while making plots. What they don’t know though is that once their souls incarnate back to earth, they will forget everything they once knew - scheming plans included. 

The states of feeling mighty and powerful get replaced with vulnerability and insecurity, divinity in exchange for humanity.

A deep sigh escaped Eun Woo’s lips as he watched you cry into your pillows for the fifth time this week. 

„What’s wrong?“, his friend asked concerned.

„It’s y/n.“, he answered flatly.

„What about her?“

Eun Woo turned around and mustered his friend, thinking of the right words to predict his dilemma.

„Do you remember when she used to be with us up here?“

His friend nodded silently.

„Back then we made the perfect plan. We created our own drama, so to say.“

„What was it about?“

Flashbacks of those times entered his mind, filling his heart with a deep longing.

„Are you really sure, y/n?“, Eun Woo whispered while placing delicate kisses on your neck.

„Yes. I want to do it like that this time.“, you nodded enthusiastically.

„My love. Let’s go through the plan once more, then.“

„I will incarnate onto earth and live a miserable life. I will fail in love over and over until I can’t take it anymore. I want to discover love as a fragile, little human. I want to understand their pain and their agony. I want to be miserable, utterly miserable. I want to build my own hell and I want to understand how I’m doing it… And then, once I’m ready, then you show up, BOOM, the love of my life - in heaven and on earth and you rescue me from my deep despair and then we can be..“

„Happy.“, he interrupted. 

A big smile formed on your face. 

„Yes. Happy.“

„So, why are you so sad then? The plan seems solid.“, Eun Woo’s friend remarked.

„Somehow it’s not. She did fail in love. A lot of times. But somehow she can’t get past that stage..“, Eun Woo explained.

„How can that happen? Isn’t it written in the stars, like destiny?“

„It should be, yes.“

Both stayed silent for a while and thought about ways to resolve this. 

„Can’t you just swoop in and rescue her?“

He shook his head sadly. 

„Why not?“

„Because she wouldn’t let me.“

„Let you? Aren’t you like… her soulmate?“, his friend asked confused.

„I am. And because of that I will always find my way back to her, heaven or earth, doesn’t really matter. But she’s not ready for me, yet.“

„How can you tell?“

Eun Woo walked over to the shelf where he was keeping his collection of your play. Each act carefully documented, each act waiting for its grand finale. He came back with a heavy book, searching for the right pages.

„Do you know when souls finally find each other?“, Eun Woo asked.

„No idea.“, his friend remarked.

„It’s when they’re ready for one another. Now tell me - do you think this sounds ready?“, he asked as he pushed the book over to his friend.

It’s official - I am unlovable. Seems like everybody and their mother can find the love of their lives but not me. I’m not meant for love. I’m meant for heartbreak. Because that’s what men do - break your heart. First, they use me for sex and then they dispose me like a tissue. Reject me. Abandon me. Block me.

Relationships suck. Love sucks. This is too hard and it always ends in pain. Fuck this shit, I’m going to die alone. Because apparently nobody wants to be with me. Or get to know me. I’m just not someone you fall in love with.

„Yikes“, Eun Woo’s friend flinched. „Gotta give it to her - she does sound like a real human though.“, he drily remarked.

Eun Woo rolled his eyes in frustration. This shit was eating him up.

Even if he descended onto earth now and forgot about all your pain, he would never be able to get through to you. 

„Men really did a number on her, huh?“, his friend asked. 

„It’s what she wanted. Some drama to enjoy our love more. And drama she got…“, he explained sadly.

„So what are you going to do?“

Eun Woo averted his gaze back onto you, watching you from above as you cried and cried and cried. 

„Waiting for a miracle, I guess.“

„Aren’t you tired of waiting?“

„What else am I supposed to do?“, he snapped.

„The plan is already rigged, you said so yourself. Can’t you use that to your advantage and rig it further?“, his friend proposed.

Eun Woo thought for a second - could he really do that? Go against fate like that? 

Your sobs made his stomach churn once again, he had to act, no matter the consequences.

„Come with me“, he demanded as he left the room.

„Where are we going?“, his friend called after him.

„Rigging the fucking plan.“ 

[love-toxin]

"i support women's wrongs" yeah but do you support whatever the fuck eun-ji has going on in all of us are dead?

[hayerins]

my take on benophie kids

charles eunchan baek-bridgerton

or who sophie would call 백은찬 (baek eunchan) if he gets into trouble

which is unlikely because charles is a total sweetheart whose favourite person on earth is eomma (sophie)

charles would buy sophie flowers on mothers day and help her with chores (a total gentleman)

excels in everything including sports and school

favourite sibling would definitely be violet

alexander eunwoo baek-bridgerton

what ben calls a 'lady's man'

besties with the (female) bridgerton cousins because he's a charmer

would give sophie and his aunts lots of compliments (and he means every single one of the compliments)

somewhat a soft soul that finds comfort from eomma's hugs whenever he's down

william eunho baek-bridgerton

chaotic

used to be the baby of the fam until violent was born

ben gets tired trying to keep up with his energy

sophie gets her patience and parenting tested all the time yet can't help but give in whenever will goes 'sorry eomma'

favourite uncle is colin because they get into trouble tgt (which gets them into trouble with sophie and penelope)

violet eunsol baek-bridgerton

a total mini-sophie in terms of looks and character

rules over her oppas (older brothers) and has ben in her palm although her favourite oppa is charles

everyone in the bridgerton family calls her princess violet

half-princess half warrior girl

ben swears that he'll cry if violet gets a boyfriend

sophie enjoys running around with violet in the garden

[l0verei]

CLEAN START AU

“ Perhaps things can be better this time . Right ? “

clean start updates(?) here

I’m honestly not to positive on the AU name but it was a work on progress, I was listening to HONGRYEON by Ahn Ye Eun and the music inspired me to finally start drawing!!

And as for the outfit I got ideas ( not FULLY inspired obv I changed it ) from Chinese opera attires! If I need to fix or correct anything please inform me! I would be happy to learn and understand if there’s any mistakes or errors since this isn’t an officially defined of an AU, something I just worked up together.

If anyone wants to send any fanart just @ me or you can add it in my asks, and go ahead and ask any questions !! ^^

[ Fun fact this is my first au I’m ever sharing… So I hope it goes well.. ]

[eunchancorner]

The Truth Behind 'Loyalty' (TTT)

Sven is a little shit. Henry hates leading. Carol's a good friend. That's all you need to know :3c

-

“Sven, please, have a seat,” Henry greeted the Head of Finances coldly, motioning to the chair across from his desk. Behind his own seat, Carol stood guard, her eyes trained on the blonde and her expression one of thinly-veiled anger. Silently, Sven sat, keeping his face calm and neutral.

“Why have I been called up, exactly? I’m assuming to discuss the finances over the canceled rocket project,” he guessed, resting his head in one hand, crossing his legs idly.

“Actually, Sven, this is a lot more serious,” Henry explained, “We have reason to believe you were aware of the traitor’s plot to kill me. Do you have anything to say to that?”

Sven froze. It was clear this wasn’t what he was expecting, making Henry think that he genuinely did believe he was just in here to talk finances. It also made Henry suspicious of him.

“What… gives you that idea…?” the blonde asked cautiously, straightening into a more tense position in his seat.

“We received an anonymous tip that you were complicit in the plot of my overthrow. You also seemed to be keeping well in contact with the traitor while I was in the Wall. Now, given the traitor’s identity, that, alone, isn’t evidence enough. What’s interesting, though, is the identity of the person who tipped us off. However, for their own safety, they’re going to remain anonymous.”

“I…” the blonde trailed off. His eyes were wide, he looked nervous, caught up in his own lies. It was clear as day to Henry that he’d obviously been colluding with Reginald the whole time. He just wanted to hear him admit it. 

After he was silent for too long, Henry began to grow impatient.

“Sven,” Henry warned, “If you don’t give me a clear answer on whether or not you helped the traitor, then not only will you be demoted, but you will be stripped of your Toppat status completely and locked in the brig, understood?”

“So hurry up and answer, shark boy,” Carol snarled in addition.

“Fine,” he conceded, “I knew what Pa and Dad were doing. And yes, I helped them. Pa’s a better leader than you and you know it. You don’t deserve this position.”

“And you don’t deserve to be a Toppat if you’re going to keep talking like that,” Carol warned, stepping forward before Henry stopped her.

“Sven, I was going to be nice about punishing you before you decided to use your admission of guilt to insult me,” Henry told him as he stood, “But that was completely uncalled for. Come with me to communications, I want you to hear the announcement I’m about to make personally.”

Henry led the way to the door, watching as Sven stood and followed, tailed by Carol, who kept a close eye on the blonde and a hand on the pistol holstered at her hip. The trio walked to the communications room, earning the confused and concerned gazes of several Toppats. Unluckily enough for Sven, two of those just so happened to be Reginald and his Right Hand Man, both of whom looked like they knew what was going on.

As they reached the room, Carol motioned for Sven to sit in a chair in the corner, while Henry walked up to the microphone that went to the PA system. He cleared his throat, and with a click of the button, began his announcement.

“Attention all Toppats, we have once again found a traitor in our midst. However, since this one was on the rocket when I made the original warning announcement, I won’t fault him for not stepping forward sooner. This being said, I will not award him the same anonymity I did his ‘partner in crime.’ Sven Svensson is being demoted from Head of Finances and his VIP status in the clan, effective immediately, for plotting with the traitor to kill me and take over. He is also being given restroom cleanup duty for one week for being a little shit while admitting this. I will warn you all again, now that the rocket crew has returned home; If any of you are also colluding with the traitors, come visit me in communications immediately, so proper punishment can be given. Failure to do so will result in being stripped of your Toppat status and imprisonment in the brig. Remember we do not take threats like this lightly. Thank you, and as always, keep your eyes up and your ears open.”

Henry turned to the blonde, who looked about ready to attack him. As a matter of fact, he made an attempt to do so, standing and running at Henry only to be caught by the back of his shirt by Carol.

“You prick! You can’t do this! I’ve been nothing but a loyal Toppat from the day I joined!” he roared, tears pricking his eyes as he attempted to swing at the leader, who stood just a few feet away.

“‘Loyal’ Toppats don’t plot to kill people just because they hate the power they have. You’re not loyal to the Toppats, you’re only loyal to your father. And as admirable as that is, it’s the worst argument you could possibly make right now…” Henry began walking towards the blonde, who’s movements seemed to slow as he drew closer. Finally, he stopped, towering over him. 

“So I’d advise you go take care of your new duty, before I decide to be less merciful with your punishment. Understood?”

“Yes�� sir…” the blonde nearly squeaked, before being released with a shove towards the door. Henry watched closely as he stepped out and the door slid closed behind him.

He sighed, letting his tough demeanor fall away as the guilt weighed on his shoulders, putting his head in his hands.

“I hate being so mean to people… Is this really what I have to do for people to take me seriously?” he asked, glancing at Carol, who let out a sigh of her own.

“Unfortunately,” she told him, “They respond best to aggression… Actually, most of them only respond to aggression… It’s how they know you’re actually serious.”

“I just…” he trailed off, before sitting in the same chair Sven had been in, crossing his arms. “I just wish it didn’t have to be like this… Oh, and, uh… I guess you know who the traitor is now…”

“I… kind of… already… knew…” she admitted awkwardly, earning a shocked stare from Henry, so she elaborated. “You told me when you were drunk, though you probably don’t remember…”

“... Fuck…” he mumbled, putting his head in his hands once again.

“It’s alright, I haven’t told anyone,” she assured him, “Everything you said is staying between me and you. Even if I… really think people should know, just so they know not to let him sway them. He has a way with people, y’know…”

“I know, but… I don’t want to ruin his life the same way I had to for Sven… I’ve… I’ve done enough damage to it already…”

He was referring to what he’d done to Right Hand Man. He knew personally how it felt to have someone he loved be so hurt, not knowing if they’d make it out or not, and yet he still did it again. But Carol would never know that, not in this lifetime. All she’s ever known was Henry felt guilty. That’s all she needed to know, anyway.

“I know… and I know I can’t sway you on this, so I’m not going to try… Just know I’ll be keeping an especially close eye on him. It’s my job to keep you safe, after all,” she told him.

“Yeah… and it’s… Just… thanks…” he managed, finding it hard to work up something to say. He was a little overwhelmed by the combination of everything that had happened, and everything he’d remembered.

He felt her gently pat his back, prompting him to look up at her, before sitting up.

“Right, yeah… sorry you have to keep seeing me like this… I’ve been pretty emotional lately, huh…?” he asked, taking a deep breath.

“If anything, I’m just glad you feel safe enough to be like this around me,” she assured him. “Remember, Henry, I’m not just your Right Hand, I’m your friend… and frankly with everything being so terrifying, I’m glad you can be like this around anyone. And I’m proud to be that person.”

He managed a small smile as she helped him up from the chair.

“And I want you to remember something Henry, since it seems like damn near no one’s told you this in a long time,” she said, patting his shoulder. “Despite your mistakes, I’m proud of you, and I think you’re a really good leader.”

God, you never realize how much you need to hear something until you hear it, he realized, feeling like he was about to cry. He had to keep himself from hugging her immediately, instead trying to ask.

“I- can- can I- I-” he stammered, earning a small chuckle from her as he struggled to string the question together. 

“I know. You want to hug me. And I’m going to let you just because you need it, okay? Don’t make it a habit,” she warned lightheartedly, opening her arms and letting him hug her tightly, patting his back as she hugged back.

“Thank you… so much…” he managed, pulling away after a few seconds and wiping away the tears that had escaped him.

“You’re welcome, chief. Now, c’mon, let’s get back to the office.”

[babyjakes]

help me hold onto you.

〈 disclaimer: this blog posts content not suitable for individuals under the age of 18. minors are strictly prohibited from viewing, sharing, or interacting with this blog. for more information on this blog's commitment to protecting minors, read our full statement here. 〉

event | kinkmas 2023

prompt | sex pollen

pairing | steve rogers x avenger!reader

warnings | sex pollen (reader was exposed to some sort of chemical agent that induced a persistent state of hyperarousal.) medical elements (reader is staying in the medbay.) crying (not related to the sexual interactions.) stevie is soooo soft :')). dialogue is soft and sweet, gentle praise and encouragement included. fingering. tummy rubs bc they make me soft. she comes quick! intense, prolonged orgasm. the beginnings of aftercare.

word count | 1,356

"Hey, hey- okay. I'm here, sweetheart. I'm here. Just tell me what you need."

Steve's brow was raised in gentle concern as he stood over your hospital bed. Dr. Banner had set you up in a secluded room at the end of the medbay, wanting to give you as much privacy as possible given the nature of your condition. It was still all a bit baffling to Steve; Bruce had shared any information he had available on the mysterious chemical you'd been exposed to out on your mission to a foreign bioweaponry facility, but most of it had gone in one of the supersoldier's ears and out the other. "Persistent heightened state of arousal" was the only phrase he was able to cling to, which still didn't feel like much to go off of.

As he stood there at your bedside, though, those words were all of a sudden making a lot more sense. You were a pitiful sight, really- curled up on your side with your knees hugged up to your chest. Your whole body was shaking, something that tore at your teammate's heart as he came to better terms with the severity of the state you were in. Overcome with obvious discomfort, all you could do was lie there and rub your sore knees together uselessly. Your hands reached out for him needily; in an instant, he was lowering himself down to sit beside you, leaning over you attentively as his face filled with concern.

"Oh doll," he hummed, reaching out to brush back your hair with a steady hand. Your forehead was drenched in sweat, your big eyes looking up at him pleadingly. As another wave of unbearable heat rolled over you, tears were building in your eyes. "How can I help, sweet girl?" Steve was pressing, "Is there anything I can do?"

In a moment of total weakness, you reached out for him again. This was completely abnormal behavior for you. Being the youngest and newest to the team, you were always intentional about maintaining an image of responsibility and restraint. But as Steve sat there at your side, his steel blue eyes looking over you so thoughtfully as he gently offered you his hands, your hijacked mind was fixating on him faster than you could realize what was happening.

"P-please," the weakness of your small voice broke Steve's heart. He nodded encouragingly, wanting to do anything he could to ease your suffering.

"What is it, honey? Hmm? What do you need?" he asked soothingly.

More tears built in your eyes as you failed to generate a verbal response. Instead, all you could do was continue to writhe pathetically. Steve's brow furrowed as he tried to make sense of your movements. "Does something hurt?" You whimpered feebly at his question, shaking your head. "No, then what is it, sweetheart? Can you tell me, or- or show me?"

Desperation drove your every move as you shifted slightly onto your back, your knees falling apart as you brought a shaking hand down to motion over your hospital gown toward where the sensations were accumulating. If Steve was surprised or offended by your admission, he didn't let it show. Instead, he simply nodded, speaking with an understanding tone, "It's bothering you there, darlin'? Do you want me to take a look?"

Your wide, pleading eyes were enough to answer his question. Pausing, he took a moment to consider the best way to proceed. After a quick glance back at the door to the hallway, seeing that the coast was seemingly clear, he gently brought his hands over to lift up the thin fabric of the gown, pulling it back to expose the area you had pointed to. Steve couldn't help but gasp softly as he saw the ramifications for the first time; any doubts he could've had about the compound's strength or effects were immediately shot down as he faced the living, breathing evidence.

"Oh honey," he crooned worriedly, leaning his head down a bit to get a better look. Your pussy was so puffy it almost looked painful. Your clit was swollen to about three times its normal size, pulsating visibly in unison with your heavy heartbeat. Bruce had placed a wide gauze pad beneath you, and it wasn't hard to see why; with the constant state of arousal your body was trapped in, you were amassing an impressive amount of self-lubricant. Face drawn in disbelief and honest fascination, Steve struggled to find words to console you. "Sweetie, what can I do? Let me help you," his voice was swelling with concern. Swallowing hard, his gaze returned up to your face. "Can I-... would it help if I-... you know...?" The sweetest hint of pink rose up in his cheeks.

You were unsure of what would happen if he tried, but with the way your stomach was lurching and spasming in excitement at the mere thought, both you and Steve knew it would be senseless to not at least give it a try. Sensing your mild confliction, the supersoldier took a moment to brush back your hair again as his soothing voice filled the air, "It's alright, doll. Let me take care of you. S'just me, just Stevie. I'll be gentle, I promise."

As he spoke, he gently drew his hand down to begin rubbing at your inner thigh. Letting out a squeak of surprise, your heart jumped at the way his touch immediately sent sparks shooting up through your tangled nerves. "Easy," he hummed lowly, pushing on you carefully to encourage you to open up your legs a little further. Once you were nice and spread out for him, he took another deep breath. "Okay darlin'. Just keep breathing for me," he seemed to be trying to calm his own nerves as much as he was yours.

With the lightest amount of pressure he could manage, Steve carefully brought his pointer and middle middle fingers to sink slightly into your pool of arousal. They didn't linger long, as they then slowly dragged up your wetness to smear over your enlarged clit. The moment he came in contact with your poor button, your world was set ablaze. You had never felt such unbearable heat in your life; it was as if every atom within your core was being blasted into smithereens, an incredible amount of energy and pressure building up inside of you as a result.

"Easy, easy- shhhh," Steve was doing his best to talk you through it, watching as your hands scrambled to grip the sheets below you, your hips rocking in shameless desperation.

"Mm.... mmhh... hhh..." you struggled through incoherent whines. The man brought his free hand over to rub your tummy gently, trying to give you any sense of comfort and safety he could as he continued working the pads of his fingers in careful, steady circles.

It only took a few more moments of the simple stimulation to send an orgasm ripping through you with unimaginable force; as Steve saw your climax hit, his eyes widened, but he was intent on carrying you through it. Needy cunt spasming around nothing, your clit jerked and jolted beneath his tender traces. Your eyes were rolling back in your head, your whole body at the mercy of the waves of pleasure crashing over you.

And you kept coming, and coming, and coming- trapped in the grips of your orgasm for what must have been minutes compared to the fleeting moments you were usually granted. "Good, let it out," Steve was murmuring softly, watching as all your pent-up frustration was slowly pulled from your seizing body.

When you were finally winding down, breathless and slumped against the flimsy mattress beneath you, he was careful to pull his hands away with the utmost care to avoid causing you any further discomfort or unwanted stimulation. As he stood momentarily to find something to wipe his hands with, you let out a shaky whimper. "No, no, I'm here," he quickly returned to your side, retaking his place next to you on the cot. "I'm right here, doll. You're okay. Here, let me clean you up a bit, honey."

[miriadalia]

Things I wanna see in Cobra Kai S6 part 2

Since I'm on a Cobra Kai streak since they dropped the new photos, I want to make a list of things I wish to see in part 2. And then check if they become true 🙏🏻 (I'm writing this before they drop the trailer)

Feel free to add whatever you want <3

Alright, HAJIME!!

1. Kwon's backstory and character development

I don't want him to be a 2D villain. Every character until now has had at least some internal conflict and reasons behind their behaviour (even bullies like Kyler), so please, PLEASE, give the guy an interesting background. If we have to tolerate Daniel and Johnny love-hate every season, I want my little Kdrama too 😂

Also, if they're going to add even more secondary characters (who, according to the leaks, will be kind of villains too), I need them to focus on Kwon first.

2. Tory defending herself from whatever BS the Miyagi Do's will tell her

Yes, she's not well at all after her mother's death and yes, Cobra Kai isn't the way to heal from her wounds... But if I hear one of them getting angry at her or calling her a traitor when none of them went after her, I'll be kicking 540s in my room................

I would also love to watch her train in Korea with the new team, giving Kim a "TAKE THAT B*TCH, who wouldn't have lasted one minute in your dojang back home??" (In season 5 Kim told that to Tory and Devon) and watch her training her hardest and truly fighting and earning her position as captain, not to appear magically in Barcelona as sensei Kreese's pet ('cause I don't think neither Kwon nor Yoon will like that).

They can even do this as flashbacks before each round of the tournament. But... I'm kind of losing hope on this because of the producers' comments. I write it here just in case :(

3. Johnny being a real father to Robby

I understand his main interest is defeating Cobra Kai, especially now that they know Kreese is back. But Robby will need him more than anyone during this tournament: the poor boy has the pression of being the team captain in a televised international competition, he needs to win the Sekai Taikai because that's the only way he could be offered a better future after being in juvie for so long, his girlfriend (ex?) has been MIA only to appear with their nemesis' team........

I've seen an interview where Xolo said Miguel's going to be Robby's main support during part 2. And while I like that, I still feel that, for once in his life, Johnny should step up and put the son he abandoned for so many years first. That would be his REAL redemption arc, more than being sensei for his own version of Cobra Kai.

4. Demetri and Hawk fixing their problems FAST

I understand them both, but their argument seems like the typical post-high school crisis where you have to separate yourself from your lifelong friends because (surprise!) each one wants and must follow their own path and dreams.

So for me it's alright if they solve this with just one conversation after winning together some round during the Sekai Taikai. I don't need something like one of them DYING or ending up in the hospital (though that's probably what will happen to Demetri seeing the X-men-mutants they've chosen as their rivals........).

In short, for me the character arcs of Hawk and Demetri are already complete and do not need more drama. They can become secondary characters, although I love both actors and I'll miss them so much :')

5. Bring back #MiguelSeason 1!!!!

I don't think there's anyone who doesn't want this to be honest haha. But in my case what I mean is I want the concentration and power he had back then, not him playing dirty or seriously injuring someone.

I want FULL POWER Miguel, the ultimate version of this young fighter we saw growing each season, using every style he's learned and making it his own.

And who knows, I won't be mad if he wins after all, but that only if Robby gets an awesome final character arc.

6. Sam and Tory supporting each other even if enemies on the tatami

These girls have already apologised to each other and now Sam understands Tory's situation and mental state without any judgement, so I want Tory to find selfless support in Sam and to learn how to confide in her.

And I want Sam to fully embrace Mr.Miyagi's teachings of forgiveness, balance and strength.

And what better way to do it than by applying them to your former arch-nemesis?

EXTRA POINTS if they fight together against Zara or any other enemy!

7. Silver NOT coming back in this second part...

At least until the end of the last episode.

We have villains already. We have NEW characters (villains?) already. And as much as I like chaos and drama, I don't think it will be easy to follow a story where everyone is against Miyagi Do lol

They can save him for the finale.

... Plus I just can't stand that dude :'), I prefer Kreese as an antagonist all the way.

8. Sassy arguments, teenage drama and funny scenes

I already read that part 2 is gonna be very action-oriented. But Cobra Kai is much more than amazing stunts and choreographies (which I love, don't get me wrong). I just don't want them to forget the potential of having a hotel and a sports park full of troublesome teenagers, with even more troublesome senseis.

They're participating in a hard competition abroad, but that doesn't mean they can't have some comedy scenes here and there like the ones they have in the Valley.

Idk, you have a Korean dude with an anime-looking hair and an American dude with a freaking American flag in his mohawk!!!!! Someone has to make at least a comment about that.

9. The characters eating Spanish food or trying to speak Spanish

This one is personal hahaha

I grew up in Spain so I need to watch them tasting a tortilla or trying to buy something and getting scolded by a Spanish "abuela" (grandma).

BONUS POINTS if Johnny Lawrence drinks the typical beer from there (Estrella Galicia). (Know this won't happen as it would be free advertising haha).

10. Amanda and Carmen being the queens they are, finally happy and in peace as every karate freak (including their respective husbands) are booked and busy at the other side of the world

[dyaz-stories]

how long will I slide? || Eun Hyuk x Reader

word count: 1.4k

warnings & tags: angst, big spoilers for s1 of sweet home, that should be it?

A/N: Written for day one of @neohumanmonster's fandom event, Turning a New Leaf. Prompt: The Other Side. He's the one I had an idea for for that theme, but I actually haven't watched s1 of Sweet Home in a couple of years, so I hope this feels in character for Eun Hyuk, and that it's not too incoherent for the setting of s1!

Eun Hyuk has eyes everywhere in the Green House apartment building — as much as he possibly can, at least. He’s used to studying efficiently,to taking as much information from a page as possible in a single glance. He’d never thought his abilities would be used in that way. That he’d end up sitting in front of footage coming from surveillance cameras, making sure not to let anything go unnoticed, because that would be the best way for him to be helpful to the people around him.

Oh, he doesn’t just do that. He’s taken up most of the tasks that require organization, wouldn’t trust others with it, if he’s being honest, but this is where he spends the bulk of his days. In front of a screen. Staring. His books forgotten and gathering dust in a corner of the room.

He doesn’t get distracted. If his eyes linger when you appear in front of ones of the cameras, it’s just because you’ve been vocal about thinking that other solutions were needed, and he doesn’t want you to endanger everyone by trying to put one of them in action. That’s all there is to it. He doesn’t have time for anything else anyway.

So when one of his screens flickers, he notices immediately. His mind starts running through the possibilities as he leans toward it, all of them bad. Any kind of system failure would be disastrous. Loss of electricity would be close to a death sentence. A camera being destroyed could mean that the monsters are getting better at finding them, smarter, which would mean they’re evolving.

And the last possibility, that he’s having a hallucination because his monsterization symptoms are progressing…

Well, he coldly evaluates, it would depend. Maybe it wouldn’t be that bad, if the residents could evacuate before he loses control completely.

When the screen lights back on, and he’s met with his own eerily smiling face and eyes gone completely black, he’s almost relieved.

Good, he thinks. I’ll be able to help as long as the cameras work.

“Will you?” his other self asks as it spreads to the other screens like a virus, voice coming out like a screech through the speakers. “Are you sure you’re helping them?”

He supposes it shouldn’t surprise him that the monster knows how to get under his skin, and yet he sits straighter at the question.

“Of course I am. Without me—”

“Maybe if they’d run when they wanted to, most of them would be safe right now,” the monster says, admitting out loud a fear that’s been eating at Eun Hyuk since the very start of this forced confinement. “Maybe you’re killing them by making them stay here. And really…” It laughs, high-pitched and maniacal. “Using that kid when you’d never have the guts to step out there by yourself?”

“I would,” Eun Hyuk protests, even if he’s aware that there is no actual argument happening here. “But I’m not the same kind of infected person as him. And I’m doing my part here. It’s not like…”

“Like you’re sending a kid out to be tortured only so he can be ostracized here? Sure looks like it.”

“It’s not,” Eun Hyuk repeats, weaker this time.

The monster opens its mouth to speak once more, when there is a soft knock on the door.

“Eun Hyuk?”

It’s you, and the monster’s face lights up as Eun Hyuk’s heart rate picks up.

Out of fear, surely. He doesn’t want you to know about his issues.

“Well how about that?” The monster practically purrs. “The thing you won’t let yourself have. Won’t even admit how badly you want—”

Eun Hyuk’s not really thinking when he picks up one of his notebooks to throw it at the screen. It bounces without any effect, of course, and the monsters starts laughing once more, until that’s all Eun Hyuk can hear, while it gets louder and louder and louder and—

The door opens behind him.

“You weren’t answering—”

“Don’t—”

You freeze in the entrance.

“Don’t what?”

He knows before turning around. Of course he does. Rational, human him is deeply aware that there is no way for you to see the things that his mind is creating.

“…come in before I tell you it’s okay,” he finishes with an even voice. “If you see something you shouldn’t, I don’t want to have to deal with everyone else’s panic.”

You click your tongue at him, and he immediately hates himself for saying it. He doesn’t even mean it. You clearly have everyone’s best interests at heart, even if you believe in a very different way of handling people than he does.

“Well, I just noticed you hadn’t eaten your share yesterday,” you say, and it stings that your tone is biting, particularly when he knows how soft-spoken you can be with others. “I was bringing you something to eat.”

“You should let someone else—”

“You can’t let yourself go weak,” you reply, pushing the food in his hands and folding your arms over your chest. “You know how much people rely on you here. We may not see eye to eye, but the last thing they need is to start worrying about you and thinking you’re not able to lead them anymore.” There’s a second of silence before you add, almost as if you can’t help yourself “Also, you know I already think these rations are too small. You really shouldn’t go a day without eating at least that.”

 He glances down at what you brought. True, it’s meager, and yet he feels a smile forming as he looks at it, at the acknowledgement that you were worried about him, even if you didn’t phrase it that way.

“Thank you,” he says.

And just like that, you soften. There’s part of him that finds it ridiculous, how you’ve given him a million second chances, how he’s let you down every time, and how you keep affording them to him still. The other one is so, so infinitely thankful for your kindness.

“Are you okay?” you ask.

He sighs.

“As okay as I can be,” he answers, pushing his glasses higher on the bridge of his nose. “I don’t think anyone is doing good.”

You nod gravely, then brush your hands over your jeans.

“Alright. Well then, I’ll leave you to—”

His hand shoots out to grab your wrist before he can hold it back and before you get too far away. You turn around to look at him, surprised and a little confused.

“Can you— would you mind eating with me?”

He could justify himself. Tell you he doesn’t like eating alone, even if he’s been doing it since his parents died, tell you he needs another set of eyes on the screen while he’s eating, tell you he needs to talk to you about one of the residents. He doesn’t, though. You read him a little too well, could probably tell that he’s lying. And he hopes that, with that big heart of yours, you’ll just…

“Sure,” you answer.

You grab a chair, pull it so you can sit facing him. As you sit down, your knees brush against his. The gesture feels surprisingly comfortable, in a way that he hopes doesn’t bring too much color to his cheeks.

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

“It gets lonely in here,” he answers, which technically isn’t a lie.

There’s a wrinkle on your forehead as you study him, one that forms whenever you’re concerned.

He’s more used to seeing the one between your eyebrows directed at him, the one that’s there when you’re annoyed.

“You can always ask me to keep you company,” you say, and his heart skips a beat. He’s sure you didn’t mean it like that, tries to pretend that it’s the monster that stirs his mind in that direction, but he knows, deep down, that that’s not the truth. That he’s actually desperate to know that someone like you could see value in someone like him.

But the truth is, if anything, you see value in everyone but him.

It doesn’t matter that you’re looking at him with these eyes, that you’re sitting with him, that you brought him food. You’re kind. You’d do that for just anyone.

“I’ll keep that in mind,” he tells you flatly once he’s gotten himself back under control. “Thank you for doing that.” Then, after a moment, “Anything I should know about what’s going on out there?”

You start answering, soft voice describing all sorts of meaningless details that you’ve noticed and apparently care about. Eun Hyuk keeps his back to the cameras. He still sees, from the corner of his eye, the monster taunting him. But as long as you’re here, so real, so soft, so human, he knows he can resist its pull.

Too bad he doesn’t know how long you’ll stick around for him.

first time writing for eun hyuk and it was quite interesting to do! also i think i need to try my hand at writing him before s3 comes out lol. i hope you enjoyed it! reblogs and comments are strongly appreciated and keep me motivated and writing :)

more writing for sweet home

[alifelivedtwiceover]

Rewatching Goblin and thinking about how the death of a centuries-old god lies in the hands of a small, unlucky girl.

How he looks at her with age old eyes that hint at I-have-seen-it-all-nothing-can-surprise-me and yet we see him surprised and flustered by her. We see him at her mercy. She is the love of his life. She is his life and death. The irony in the fact that she lives because he saved her and her mother but he has to die at her hands. His strength in being able to carry that. She is so so young, he is so old. She has poisonous relatives who wish her ill. He makes it rain when he is sad. He has seen the entire world and then some. She is laughably young and lost. And yet. Somehow. They manage to save each other. No matter how briefly.

This young misery-befallen, persevering, surprising girl. With an uncertain future. With no where to go. This old lonely guardian god who keeps serving his punishment. And both of them living, in spite of it all. And both of them of them, finding each other, precisely because of it all.

[electrofolk]

A genderqueer reading of Coffee Prince

I wanted to examine why I keep coming back to a show I first watched 12 years ago and why it seemed to mean so much to me. I think it's because I saw in this show an extremely raw portrayal of the struggles I have felt as a genderqueer person, which is wild for a Korean show from 2007. While I rewatched, it was so clear to me that Eun Chan is genderqueer and many of her struggles are not only about her relationship with the love interest, but her relationship with her own gender.

A brief synopsis: Eun Chan is mistaken for a man, and ends up going along with it and getting a job under these pretenses in coffee shop. She ends up falling in love with her boss, Han Gyul, who still thinks she is a man. Han Gyul is also falling in love, but really struggles with the fact that this would make him gay. He eventually decides he is willing to face homophobia to be with Eun Chan. She then decides to reveal to him the truth, but it is Eun Chan’s struggle with having to confess this which feels so familiar and painful to a genderqueer person.

Eun chan has forgotten shes in a lie, she is not in disguise like other gender bending shows, she is just being herself, wearing what she wants to wear, acting how she wants to act It is others who place her in a binary, and assume she is a man. She says right out, “I'm not a guy nor a girl", and she is terrified of what that means.

So when Han Gyul says “Whether you’re a man or an alien, I don’t care anymore”, how can she not run with that? All she is feeling in that moment is relief, you can see it in the way she hugs him.

She does feel like an alien, that much is clear from how she describes herself, and the soundtrack brilliantly confirms this – “I feel like an alien, not part of the human race...it should be such a simple thing” (Alien, by Arco). This song plays when both of them are in the car together, it could refer to Han Gyul, coming to terms with being attracted to who he thinks is a man, or to Eun Chan, who feels she exists outside of the binary.

When Han Gyul finally asks her if she really is a woman, she is reluctant to answer. Some might interpret this hesitation as fear of his anger, but it could also be that she doesn’t want to admit to and be punished for something she doesn’t even feel to be true. He has to ask multiple times because she doesn’t answer, and finally she only slightly nods her head, looking sad and scared.

Later, he begs her to say its not true, that she isn’t a woman. Again, she cant answer to confirm or deny, all she can say is “I’m sorry”, and she breaks down. He is so angry at her for being something she doesn’t even feel herself to be. He said he’d love her if she was a man or alien, but he doesn’t want her to be a woman. The one thing she never felt like she was she’s now being punished for.

When Han Gyul finally comes around and says he’s actually glad she’s a girl, her face says it all.

There are many more hints that she doesn’t feel that she conforms to femininity. She said right from the beginning, that he would never like “someone like me”, showing she had a preexisting view of herself before she ever got involved in this whole thing.

You can see she has internalized this failure to conform, saying its her fault for looking the way she does. She is not shocked when his grandmother called her a thing, She has become used to being treated poorly as she has not conformed her whole life. But Han Gyul gets angry having to grapple for this first time with non-conformity.

Although Han Gyul has a lot of issues, he does have to get some credit for eventually coming out of the woman-man binary thinking he fell into earlier. He realizes she was born this way, and when he shops for a ring for her, he tells the shopkeeper “she is not feminine” and buys her a simple band.

One final thing I’ll mention is the music choice, again. The song that keeps returning at different points is a beautifully sad song with the lyrics “And now I’ve travelled across the ocean, with the same shoes, just longer hair”. At the end she does come back from overseas with longer hair, making her seem more feminine. But she remains the same, and you have to hope Han Gyul realizes she is still the same person, existing outside of a binary, and he is at peace with that.