#I challenged a few others for this bc im interested

[waywardsalt]

easily my favorite boss in elden ring so far

[boom-boom-back]

I psychoanalysed the MV for ESCAPE by Hyunjin and Bang Chan.

(Keep in mind, I’m going off of the video itself, not the lyrics, so if you have anything to add that you think could be related that I missed, please do share in the comments😋)

Okay so after a while of ranting to myself, I came to two different conclusions and I’m not sure which one makes more sense, if either at all.

But just to start things off, I noticed two things that I’m sure everyone else did as well, which were the Shackles on their wrists, and the Werewolves concept.

The first thing I wanna talk about is the chains. Throughout almost the entire MV, they were not bound to anything, they were just dangling on their wrists the whole time, except for that last scene where they connected to each others.

Now obviously, this has to refer to some kind of bond between the two that eventually formed throughout their time together, that eventually they realised when Hyunjin essentially “sacrificed himself” for Bang Chan. I’ll come back to this later.

The second thing I noticed, was the werewolf theme, which was obviously intentional. There are a few things that could connect this to the “bond” I talked about, like the forming of a pack/brotherhood. I wasn’t too sure if this had anything to do with the meaning, but I just wanted to get it out there.

Now throughout the MV, you can see traces of the bond being formed slowly, but surely. For example, you know that piece of broken glass bang chan gave to Hyunjin? I noticed that we see it again when Hyunjin is in that cell.

After a quick google search, I learned that broken glass can symbolise Fragility/Vulnerability. What that made me think of, is when BC broke that fish tank, it could essentially be interpreted as him “breaking himself down” and opening up to Hyunjin by giving him that piece of himself, AKA expressing vulnerability.

You can also interpret their position, where BC was leaning on Hyunjin, both literally and figuratively. BC is placing his trust in him, and from then on, you can see them getting along easier.

Now obviously, because that piece of glass was essentially a part of BC, Hyunjin seemed especially attached to it when they were separated after Hyunjin ran off.

But before then, you can see that Hyunjin almost tries to swing at whatever is chasing them with the glass, which could hint at their connection essentially making him stronger. Because we all know that weapons give advantages right?

So you know that saying “you never truly know what you had until it’s gone”? That could be why Hyunjin seemed so distressed after abandoning BC to save him, and why he was so protective over the shard.

Then, there’s obviously their reunion. Im not sure what kind of relationship the video was hinting at, but I don’t want to jump to any conclusions and make anyone uncomfortable, so I’m just going to assume it’s a brotherhood of some kind. But obviously it was at that point when their bond truly formed and they began to think of each other as one, hence the being chained together.

Realising they take on challenges easier when they’re together, they begin to fully rely on each other and face whatever/whoever was trying to keep them apart head on.

I wrote this at 3:00am so sorry for any typos/confusion my brain wasn’t working very well🥱

I have another seperate conclusion, so let me know if you want to hear about that one too, or if you want me to go into more detail about this one. I dunno why I got so fixated on this, I’m not even that much of a Die-hard fan of SKZ, but I found the MV particularly interesting and just felt like ranting🤷‍♀️

[diamondoffaith]

doing parts of @maoisarap's yume ask game! i was gonna do everything but 1. got lazy or cant think of answers rn + 2. still busy 😭 mix of tatsukou spam but also Me x tatsumi personally under the cut (+ 1st time posting them on main so ! introducing them w this)

if anyones interested i can throw the other questions into the replies of this post

3) if you're in a romantic relationship with your f/o, do you think your unit members would accept your relationship status? both alkaloid and chronovox (kousei's unit) are ! but mayoi used to be scared ? of Kousei because kousei gets easily jealous sometimes and mayoi doesn't want to accidentally intrude on tatsukou's relationship or anything (they worked it out now)

well theyre supportive but also unfortunate Cough Cough mayoi in the vents while tatsukou are alone in the practice room. i mean what

4) what type of occupation are you and your f/o? idol x idol for tatsukou! kousei's part of chronovox under starpro. chronovox is a group of guardians of time, guiding their fans through their music.

(l->r: Kousei Himari (dusk), Rito Ishiki (midnight), Nazoya Sekiei (noon), Kiyomi Asaki (dawn)) (pretend nazoya and kiyomi's positions are swapped)

Dusk: A time to rest off and welcome the night, inspiring peace.

Midnight: The time one can be the most vulnerable, inspiring reflection.

Dawn: A warm welcome to the new day, inspiring hope.

Noon: The time one is most active, inspiring passion.

5) can you describe you and your f/o's relationship with 3 ensemble stars!! song titles? there's a little challenge! undying holy love walk with your smile accept my love (☹️)

6) do you prefer canon or fanon version of your f/o? i have no idea i dont actually read most stories i learned about tatsumi based on fan analysis of him on twitter and my friend infodumping LOL

i guess part of my own fanon version of him though is he's less like. vocal ?? about his faith in the current point of the story like. ofc its still a big part of him, im not taking it away, but he isn't that preachy anymore because he now found himself as an idol and wants to focus on that first

7) who confessed first between you and your f/o? how did they do it? kousei....... they went on a drive together after a few months of casual dating and that's where he finally opens up a lot about himself (especially coming out to tatsu that he's actually a trans boy)

it was the day tatsumi realized just how much he cared for and wanted to protect kousei (because deep inside they actually share similarities regarding faith, the thing that made them hesitant to be with each other at first because of their differences in beliefs, yet they were able to work through it together), and the day kousei realized he finally had someone he could fully trust, and that they didn't want to lose each other

8) was your f/o also your first liked character in the franchise? if so, what made them reel you in? if not, who was? i actually first liked hajime when i found out about enstars in like 2020. then obbligato tatsu came out and i thought "oh hey thats pretty" but thought nothing of it but tatsu was at the back of my mind. i wasnt really interested in him bc #religioustrauma. and then my friends peer pressured me into not being in denial w him anymore just last december and january then i learned about his character much deeper and cried and shitted myself and here we are.

9) how did you figure out that this f/o of yours in particular is "the one"? for tatsukou its the same as i mentioned in the confession question above but for Me.

this is. embarrassing to admit in public but. sometimes if im like deep enough into daydreaming or something i can almost "feel" characters holding or kissing me. like phantom sensations i guess. and "feeling" tatsumis kiss is what got me 🥹 it was very soft and tender and warm... call me crazy and ill idc its really how i fell for tatsu

11) do you have any merch of your f/o? (proper/fanmade/re-used/etcetera) if not, what is your dream merchandise piece to have of them? I have 2 pashas and a pin from my friend but i wanna collect most of the nuis (especially the bear one)

12) do you like how your f/o sounds with the voice they're given? what about their singing voice?

yes.

13) speaking of f/o's voice, do you know of the voice actor behind your f/o? have you seen or played any other franchises your f/o's voice actor has been in? yakumo nucarni .

14) if isekai was real in our world, would you want to go to the enstarsverse just to be with your f/o? can it be reversed and i kidnap tatsumi onto here i need a boyfriend to get me through college finals week

16) do you and/or your f/o have any fears about your relationship status? well obviously theyre both idols. kousei always wants to openly show off that tatsumi and him belong together but they really cant. the most they can do is having matching necklaces as a small hint to their fans should they catch it

18) does your f/o get embarrassed if you sing any of their songs? or do they join in? Kousei does, but they always sing together

21) do you count your f/o's centre song as a song dedicated to yourself? undying holy love not that sure yet but starlight of faith yes

22) is your relationship a secret or an open one, due to some restricted rules that could exist in the enstarsverse? they're only open about it with other es idols but it's still hidden from the fans

23) who's more likely to be affectionate in front of other idols/the fans, between you and your f/o? tatsumi but he's subtle about it

26) what is one word you'd associate with your f/o? what's one word your f/o would associate with you? tatsumi - "diamond" kousei - "moon"

(expanding in another question)

27) who gets more jealous in the relationship? is there any particular reason as to why? KOUSEI. he grew up always ending up losing things, from losing small things like being forced to give away toys he still wanted to keep to losing friends after just a year or two of being in school together. if kousei had something others wanted, those people would take it from him, and he would let them if it makes them happy. so kousei gets scared to lose his partners

28) who's the tall one, and who's the short one between you both? or are you both the same height? tatsumi's taller (177cm, kousei's 162cm)

30) what's your favourite card of your f/o? choose one card for all different stars statuses (1-5)

fs2 tatsu unbloomed was the card that made him more charming to me and made me fall more but. link click tatsumi. im so mad i joined the fandom late so i cant get him

31) do you share a dorm room with your f/o? if so, what's it like? if not, how come?

kousei dorms alone but tatsumi stays over enough times they practically are roommates. they act like an old married couple

33) do you have any nicknames for each other? if so, what are they?

kousei's favorite nicknames (to be called): everything. (mainly darling, my love, and my little moon) what he loves calling tatsumi: darling, honey, my/dear prince, my diamond

tatsumi's favorite nicknames (to be called): dear, my diamond what he loves calling kousei: sweetheart, love, darling, my little moon

Kousei calls Tatsumi "my diamond", because he was like a diamond stone, chipped away by giving himself to others who mainly saw his value, leaving only a small piece for few people to fully see and appreciate the beauty of.

Tatsumi calls Kousei "my little moon", because he was mysterious yet captivating, just like the moon. It was also as if a drop of moonlight, a gift from the heavens, had made its way onto the earth, guiding others and showing them a comforting warmth as an idol.

37) what's an ordinary day between you both like? is it full of chaos, or are you as calm as ever? very domestic. they just cuddle in kousei's dorm or maybe sometimes go on walks. especially on days one of them feels upset or overwhelemed by something, the other spoils them and showers them in praises

38) how did you and your f/o meet? i. havent worked it out! im not sure if i'm throwing kousei into reimei yet but i'll decide it after reading obbligato. but for now they just met as senpai-kouhai before chronovox debuted

39) do you think your f/o's fans would accept your relationship status? tatsukou would get too fucking obvious at some point that fans wont be surprised at all if they announce theyre dating (of course theres gonna be some jealous fans but)

↑ by that i mean kousei changing the choreography for undying holy love when his unit covers it. in the "diamond ni shite" part where it looks like (to me at least) tatsumi's taking off a ring and showing it off, kousei instead takes the ring and puts it on his finger before kissing it and blowing that kiss

40) what is your favourite thing about your f/o? what's your f/o's favourite thing about you?

kousei's favorite thing is how patient and considerate tatsumi always is

tatsumi's favorite thing is seeing how soft kousei's smile had grown throughout their time together. seeing how warm and just. happy it's gotten even after all he's been through in the past

[kireilien]

hey lien! just a question, not a request or a quickie.

because you have a big brain and I think you always hit the right spot when talking about maki, how do you think drunk maki would behave? like all giggles and bubbly or?? im very interested on your thoughts :3

wait omg hiiii stop it ur making my ego big wait i would love to answer esp bc maki has said he wants to fucking CHALLENGE to drink like bro

tw/cw. cursing, alcohol, smoking; word vomit, no major cws

maki is a yapper when he’s sober and it js gets worse when he’s drunk i fear … he’s probably also the type to use english over japanese when he’s drunk, which is bad for the members bc only nicho could basically understand him …

like you said i would think he’d be more introverted actually, but still giggly? he laughs at the littlest things but he’s more reserved and observant toward the other members. although he did wanna challenge drinking, he’s still responsible and is absolutely not the type to always get hammered when drinking. when he knows his limits, it’s his limits. he’ll let loose and get hammered only a few times bc he knows his members are there then never again. other times he’ll be a little more than tipsy, but that’s all.

also the type to only socially drink. he doesn’t drink often nor indulge in substances, out of all the members i can’t imagine him smoking either, he’d try it a few times but never something he’d do constantly (as much as i think it’s hot to think abt him smoking a cig sighhh) this is the only time i’ll say something like this in this regard, but yes he would totally love beer who would’ve guessed! if he wants a little buzz to end his night, he’ll drink a can or a pint and that’s all— totes not the type to bust out wines or hard liquor!

what’s a lien daddy maki post without thinking of him in a relationship while drunk? as the daddy maki agenda ever so outlines (aka lien self insert) if you’re a heavy drinker, he’s the designated driver and care taker! makes you drink water, eat well, carries you home, probably runs a bath for you too and bathes you if you’re that blackout drunk! as someone whose limit is like a 5 or 6 bottles of soju, if he does see you drink a lot, he still cares for your health! insert that one clip of him pointing and teasing at yuma on studio choom god that clip makes me drop to my knees anyways— constantly telling you, “that’s enough missy, no more,” when you’ve clearly drank your fill.

extra ish? wouldn’t be scared to turn down alcohol or prefer to order a mocktail over cocktails! he’s js that cool! + favorite drinks would be on the sweeter side ex: soju flavors, sake, (fruit) beers! wouldn’t mind whiskey when he’s older :3

[fatuismooches]

dottore brainrot hit me right in the middle of my poetry class so I'm making it everyone else's problem

dottore with a poet s/o. he's a logical man, he doesn't go into the arts, let alone decipher and examine them. would challenge dottore to decipher their poems. he's STRUGGLING bc how was he supposed to know that "the running water loves the land that hugs it" was meant to represent his hugs?? sometimes the segments can hear him muttering to himself and reading the poem aloud over and over again. but when he figures it out?? he melts(internally) bc it's just so sweet. 100% would support his partner's art

OH YM GOSHHH I FREAKING LOVE THIS. As someone who always adored writing but sucked at poetry like THIS IS SO CUTE BDWQHDWJ ILY FOR THIS ANON (Nah fr though... Dottore probably handed all the literature homework over to you to do for him in the Akademiya because he couldn't be bothered or interested enough in stuff like that 😭)

But even all these years later he still claims to be able to understand it if he tried (lies) so you decide to whip up your own poem to put him to the test. He easily accepts the challenge with his usual confident grin because how hard could it possibly be? He deals in complicated ancient texts relating to science, math, and all these other matters. Surely he can figure out a poem. (He turns out to be wrong. So so wrong.) For such a smart man he couldn't seem to interpret the hidden feelings, or the metaphors and poetic devices used in these poems or writings as quickly as he thought he would. He's POURING over every word, every punctuation mark, stanzas, line breaks, everything trying to understand what's going on. There are literally whole notes, underlining, circling, and more scribbled around the poem. And you thought you made it pretty easy too... of course your poem would be about your love for him!

Despite how much it looks like he's suffering trying to understand what's going on, it's enjoyable to Dottore. Like a stress relief. He knows he's not the easiest person to be around so he wants to understand you and your hobbies too... although he isn't adept at them at all. After a dozen pages of brainstorming he finally reaches a conclusion and he just gets so excited and cocky, like how he does when he finally makes a breakthrough in his research. Dottore will come up to you with his confident smirk again and tell you in plain words what exactly you want. Acting as if you didn't make his brain short-circuit a few times.

"The running water loves the land that hugs it" was meant to represent his hugs??" IS SO SO CUTE IM EVAPORATINGGG AHHH

[gwaaaaar]

breaking my silence...

whoever told me the second half of death note was trash... YOURE WRONG YOURE WRONG YOURE WRONGGGGGG 🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣 MELLO AND NEAR ARE WORTHY SUCCESSORS TO L YOURE JUST A STAN!!!!

near... sweet jesus baby they didnt deserve you !!! I was so pleasantly surprised to see how distinct he was despite people calling him "white haired L". LIKE hes a lot more cautious than L but isn't above being a sarcastic little shit and actively causing problems... i read a fan translation and he uses a lot of cuss words to refer to certain people he dislikes. I dont know if thats in the official translation as well but i do like the visual of this 7 yo saying "asshole" and "dickhead". I know hes 17-18 and this is average teenage behavior but gah hes so cute and moe and make little "vrooooom" noises when playing with his toys... 🥺 cant help but stan. Hes in his zone unbothered...

AND THE FACT HE CHALLENGES LIGHT IN FRONT OF OTHER PEOPLE SO BLATANTLY... no mind games no time for light to make his next move just fuck it we ball. Also very fond of the scene where he drops hundred dollar bills off the SPK building. He's unpredictable just like Mello is but in a different way and its fascinating i love this guy. Also enjoy the fact that his flavor of justice is that he doesnt really have one hes just doing his job. The verbal beatdown he does at the end about how lights just a crazy serial killer... GET HIS ASS NEAR !!! Hes not pretentious and its just... its just good you know? L wasn't very pretentious but he does call himself justice sometimes and stuff along the like(?) Near drops all pretense... cant help but stan

Also really fond that he actually likes mello its just mello doesnt like him... I know canon never explicitly states their relationship with each other, like if its a brotherly relationship or not (altho isnt there some cain and abel parallels??? Not sure). But i really do see a siblinglike relationship between the two. Canon doesnt really put any angst on their relationship bc near doesnt care lolol, but the two do remind me of certain siblings that have a strained relationship because of the pressure put on one of them (or on both. Again fuck wammys house all my homies hate wammys AND WATARI!!! ME WHEN I GET YOU!!!) I really would love to see the two interact... and maybe just be happy by each other/pl. Because god it really terrible to see how much mello hates near and its not even nears fault :,). AND FUCK THE CHOCOLATE BAR HE EATS AT THE END TO HONOR MELLO???? STOPPPP IM GONNA CRY... near the man that you are... they dont deserve you baby...

And smello... mello mello mello... I've heard more positive things about him compared to near bc hes more "interesting" and i can see why people take that angle BUT. God they still undersell him so much??? I feel like hes one of the few characters to have a goal besides catching Kira (or not getting caught) because of his inferiority complex. I do not mean to undersell any of the other characters when i say this because theyre all very complex! They all have their driving goals and the like. Its just that i argue that Mello's is more persistent and that it is not centered around the conflict but rather himself. Even if he caught Kira perhaps he would still never be happy with himself because Near is always "going to be better" because of the shit he went through in wammys. Theres a whole discussion to be had abt the ethics of wammys house... but ill save that for another post wwww.

Mello is also someone that isnt pretentious about his idea of justice bc hes a fucking criminal. (BTW i love the two opposing sides of the successors... one that tries falling within the law but still doesnt give a shit and the other that doesnt give any shits at all and eventually helps the law.) And its so... I LOVE YOU RUTHLESS CHARACTERS I LOVE YOU CHARACTERS THAT STOP AT NOTHING TO GET WHAT THEY WANT.

And the thing is ... Mello does have his own sense of justice because its not as if he sacrifices innocent bystanders to get what he wants he just does what is necessary. LIKE ofc its fucked up that he kidnapped sayu (and traumatized her...), takada (and the stripping... but at least she got a blanket:,) honestly tho id blame that on the misogyny of the authors) and the director of the police im not about to be a mello apologist (yes i am/j). But a. He probably knew no one was going to get hurt in the first place because hes just that damn confident. b. His remorse for matt and soichiros deaths show that he doesnt intend on sacrificing anyone and when things go astray it saddens him a little. And c. THE FACT HE PROBABLY KNEW HE WAS GONNA DIE AND STILL SACRIFICED HIMSELF TO HELP NEAR... near would "win" but mello prioritized putting kira behind bars and while i cant guess his motive, from my end it does seem like in extension he prioritized doing the right thing, which would be to sacrifice his life and pride to help near get the final piece to catch mikami... wow what a man im so deathly ill

After typing all this, i must say... is L really as complex as years of DN fans have said?? I think im about to get crucified for this opinion, but legitimately is he??? I think he is complex most certainly just... maybe not as much as others have said... i might just be missing details about his past + lore from external media so maybe thats why i have this opinion. But i feel like the successors *are* toe to toe with him despite their split screen time... idk tho :3 this is just my thoughts meow

[ego-meliorem-esse]

Do you hc America to speak other languages or is he a fully English bimbo? To my knowledge, NASA requires Russian fluency, I don't think many other US-government level agencies require another language but I could be wrong. I know Spanish translations of official documents are increasingly accessible but English is still the de facto language.

What I will say is that the notion that Alfred, as a superpower in the modern age, does not speaks several languages is absurd to me.

The languages i hc him to know, besides English, are:

Spanish - first and foremost. Though Alfred does have more of a Mexican dialect when speaking Spanish, which slightly annoys Antonio. As it should.

German - very good at it! Gets the accent almost perfect. For Alfred, German was one of those easier languages he learned. With most nations, Alfred speaks English. And not really because he doesn't want to or try to speak their language, but mostly because it's rare that other nations expect this dude to speak their native languages. Not with Gil tho! Their conversations are full of German-centric memes. Alfred is a big fan of Mitten im Leben. Unapologetically so! He knows enough German to understand the shitty acting in the show.

Mandarin - this on is very straight forward, it's good business. He uses it too much for diplomatic purposes to find joy and interest in speaking it. Sad really, as its a fascinating language.

Russian - also very straightforward, he works at NASA for commissions and contracts and its very common to speak it. Even besides that, the Cold War required it as well. His Spotify playlists are full of post communist songs of Russian, Polish, Yugoslav origins but he'll die before show it to anyone.

Japanese - He stutters and takes his time when speaking Japanese. He learned it but rarely uses it nowadays.

Korean - man, he tries. It's a relatively new language under Alfreds belt. But his problem is that he sounds very flat when speaking Korean. Nowadays he uses it more than Japanese though!

French - oh this is a very fun one for me to get into. Contrary to popular headcanoning, I hc him to struggle with it. He does understand most of verbal French, but as a child he started learning it and at that point he wasn't really all that interested in other languages. He had other shit keep his focus. So, while he did hear a large amount of it growing up, he had few attempts to speak it himself. Even during the American revolution, when he made his way across the pond to woo his french patrons, he was mostly spoken to in English. In their minds he was not very cultured. A mixed race country bumpkin putting his big boy pants on for the first time. As annoying that was for Alfred, he had other shit to worry about. And Matt rarely spoke French when living with Al and Arthur so there wasn't really an opportunity there for Alfred. This is one language that he is constantly passively learning, which is hilarious bc it's one of the first ones he should have known lol. I get that this is a very niche hc and makes little sense but i find joy in it. And also in François' frustration.

Plus a limited knowledge of other languages. Alfred is trying to make time to learn more languages, but finding time for it is a challenge.

I'll expand on Alfreds knowledge of both specific classifications of Algonquian and Iroquois languages in a later post.

All that said, Alfred is, in heart and soul, an "English bimbo" 🙏

[smosh-fessions]

its interesting how when ppl bring up how they wish smosh had more variety in casting they always bring up angela being in a lot of videos but when it comes to shayne also being in a lot its crickets

literally saw a comment complaining abt angela being in videos and they said if shes not in more videos than sayne then shes at least in as many as him. and that was where the comment stopped like youre saying shes in as many vids as shayne and thats annoying bc variety but shayne isn’t in too many?? when you just stated theyre maybe in the same amount roughly??

and all im seeing this past week is complaints abt angela being in almost every video for a week, yet i think shayne has been in every video shes been in lately except like the fanfic one and resident evil (to balance that out she wasnt on smosh mouth and also not on the reddit stories that was before the most recent one)

ppl compare them a lot, both their humor and loudness but angela is the one being called annoying for it.

when shayne is loud or talking a lot/clearly just saying anything to get laughs as part of his weird guy bit (most recent challenge pit comes to mind), hes just a quirky silly guy. but when angela does a similar thing shes torn apart for being too much, annoying, attention seeking etc.

obviously angela gets praise too and ppl love her but its just so interesting how much she is disliked for the same things shayne is being loved for

also just picked shayne as an example bc of their similarities, a lot of other cast members are loud and stuff too obviously, simply think the double standards are a little glaring.

whats crazy is im not even an angelatruther like that i just feel like even tho its not being done with intent, the men on smosh get praised for the same things the non men on smosh get torn apart for, youve gotten some ppl pointing out the same abt amanda too and i think that it includes arasha and courtney too. in a similar way the few cast members that are poc also get ragged on for stuff thats completely fine for their white counterparts to do

You're very correct and I wonder if it has to do with Shayne having basically been a staple member of Smosh for a decade, so it's just kind of the norm to assume he'll be in a video at this point. He's also full time as opposed to others and there's a guarantee of him being in two videos a week minimum, so I wonder if that also comes into play here for people.

That's the only explanation I can think of that isn't essentially just tied directly to misogyny. People get very strange about women who are loud and boisterous, I've found, and Angela is very much both of those things. She's more prone to hyperactivity than Shayne as well, it seems, so that could play a part as well.

[qesii]

mads i feel like you might have thoughts, i know youve been doing well with picking school back up, but I find it so hard to work hard/have goals when i feel so apathetic about the state of the world/the future... im smart and i know i can acheive more but i just cant get myself to do it. any general advice?

yeah, I suppose, but also take it with a grain of salt because yeah I have kids yeah I have responsibilities but I don’t have a job, so I do have more time than the average student to devote to classwork— I also live pretty far north in a predominately rural area so I’m not faced with a lot of urban issues like racism, hate crimes, severe poverty/homelessness, gun violence (most days) these are massive stressors, give yourself grace if you’re facing marginalized hardships, it’s hard to grow when your focused on survival and not let them hamper your ambitions, its a daily process of convincing yourself you’re worth the work your doing/undoing all the work of everyone who said you can’t— which some days that might be tough, too, but they pass.

at the beginning of this semester I started berating myself into doing the most boring readings of all time because it is in my self-interest to do so— learning is good for me, challenging my priors and my own thought process is good for me, finding new lenses of analysis of beloved subjects is good for me, going to class and socializing is good for me (even if my anxiety is through the roof the first few weeks). To say find what motivates you is such low hanging fruit but, what gets me out of bed in the morning might not work for you and vice versa— maybe you need to challenge yourself, maybe you need to lessen your workload

1. communicate with your teachers/professors— build a rapport, talk about your goals— this may be difficult to do in say an online class right but feel free to shoot them an email to introduce yourself, reach out to them with questions or any clarification on assignments, if they have campus office hours pop in and let them know the course is going for you, showcase the type of student you want to be until you embody it, fake it til u make it babe. Teachers are more approachable to me than my fellow students, always have been tbh, but my classmates can’t write me a letter of recommendation so

2. find your people— talk to the students in your group projects even after your wrap it up, engage in discussions, join a reading/study group/club if you can swing it. If you’re in a reading heavy class, this could save you: get a group of five people in your class that don’t annoy you— divvy up the readings, summarize a paper or chapter and share them (it’s easier to read five summaries than 80 pages— you just need enough to follow the conversation/discussion your professor wants to have, you’re not supposed to magically know the point of every lesson, you’ll get there in class as a class which is the fun part anyways). Get out of your house. Go to local events, campus events, book clubs, join a political coalition and annoy your representatives, find a bird watching group, take a peek at your library’s schedule bc there can be writing workshops, board game nights etc, go to art shows, find out where your local pow wows or pot lucks are held (you don’t need to be native to go— buy an ndn taco, purchase some wears if you can afford it— I went just last night but didn’t have a lot of cash on me so I bought multiple small gifts for others (and got to see on of my professor compete in her jungle dress!!!)— soak in the good energy, do not fuckin’ touch peoples’ regalia, appreciate the display of resiliency and effort it takes to be proudly native today, let yourself feel the same for yourself— you’re alive! you have agency! you can kick ass!).

At my reading group, we were discussing things we have lost in the general progression of society— and the loss community was my first thought, and someone beat me to it, then was pushed back against by someone else, saying hey, I can meet friends online, I have community there— which I had to then open my mouth and be like yeah, yes, for sure, but we are such a social species that it can’t replace face-to-face contact. I got more out of sitting there and discussing a book about dead economists for two hours and listening to everyone’s thoughts than like if i were in an online class, i’m not reading all those discussion board posts. This is not me putting down any sort of untraditional methods of friendship, because all trade of knowledge and bolstering interests can be beneficial. But also try to meet your online friends if you can, hop into a voice chat, get all that good stuff our monkey brains need to balance our humors and expel yellow bile (pls know i’m joking here)

3. yeah the world sucks, yeah you might feel like a drop of water in a ocean etc etc let this be your moment to not give a fuck (basically, relax), be unapologetically sincere in your interests, don’t give into the dread of uncertainty because you must trust yourself, your intuition, to move forward. Governments have sucked since idk the last five thousand years or so but we’re still kickin’ baby!

4. APPLY FOR SCHOLARSHIPS— there are so many organizations and corporations and local efforts to broaden opportunities for education, you likely qualify for one and there’s really nothing like hey here’s some money because we believe in you :) My past two previous pell grants for my education degree were about 5k per semester that I was totally not expecting (I don’t know how this might change with uh all this bullshit but apply for your fasfa, contact them directly if your parents are assholes, help is available), and I have a second scholarship from my native corporation which covered almost my entire tuition. Plus, if you find the right type of organizations, get enough to cover tuition and then some, some allow for extra cash to be directly reimbursed to you— but keep your award letter if the IRS comes to pester you holy fuck)

5. Be Arrogant— weird advice I know, but I’m not saying go be an asshole— you’re smart, you know you deserve what you can achieve, be assertive, recognize your goals and remind yourself what they are out lout— any time I go substitute teach at the high school I tell someone that I’m going to be hired as a teacher some day and I look forward to working with them more. Let’s be real, lots of kids are scooting by in classes without applying themselves, try to talk at least one time per class, even if your just bouncing off another answer/asking a question (someone else might have wanted to know the same thing and too nervous to ask, who knows, u might be throwing a bone), 100% participation points every time. You get in what you put out, which;

6. Only way to do something is to do it— this is something I tell myself when my anxiety is bad and I want to cop out so fuckin’ bad, but I actually first started applying it to biking— If I want to ride my bike for 30 miles then I have to ride 30 miles, straight forward type of deal really

[fairyminnie444]

Heyy i have been kinda struggling with my manifestations but i'd like to share a success story that i had few years back to remind myself that i can do anything and maybe give hope to others.

So i'm now a senior year in highschool, back then i was a 9th grader and i was talking to this boy in my class. We hit it off pretty quickly, there were minor flirtings involved now and then that gave me BUTTERFLIES. One problem with this fella though, was that, he acted like a completely different person at school whereas when we texted, he was a completely different person, very nice and open-minded and a flirt. In school, he was a total jerk, mostly around his friends. This isn't a sp success story tho bc i didnt care abt him that much.

Anyway, we were following eachother on spotify and my spotify acc is very PERSONAL, my pls were public but back then u could add notes to ur pls (not anymore tho i think) and since every pl had a story, every pl had a note. After a while, i was fed up with this guy's hypocrisy, i didn't want to confront him and ask him why he was acting the way he was because it was the very beginning of highschool and i didn't wanna have any drama.

So i knew this girl who was very interested in loassumption, even had an instagram page that had 12k followers, she taught me most of this stuff bc we were friends.

Also i know im jumping from one topic to another but still whdhwhsh. Anyway back then, i was mostly interested in manifesting boy attention at school for confidence etc. There used to be "challenges" that lasted for 1 month, 2 months, 2 weeks etc where the challenge maker would appoint 3 4 affs a day, i remember doing the one with 90 days and it did its job.

Anyway this girl and i knew talked abt self concept one day and i started working on my self concept, not saying anyone has to do it but i precisely think it works for me.

Sooo back then, u couldnt remove any of ur followers on spotify, u couldn't block anyone etc. And it wasnt like i could ask the guy to stop following me on spotify 💀💀 i know this seems like a minor issue but it really messed up with me. I just didnt want him following me and thats it.

I remember one day omw to home on the school bus, i was WORRYING and beating myself up for the mere fact that i let him into my spotify acc. I didnt want to make my pls private either. I just didnt want him there.

Then as i was on the bus, i was like "bitch im working on my self concept, the whole point of it is to let go and stop worrying. Things will work out for me" very CALMLY. A few days later on the weekend, i woke up& saw an instagram post saying that "spotify will enable its users to block anyone they want" or sum shit like that. I was like "damn did i manifest this crap" when i tell u, my heart dropped.

The question was a google search away, so i googled "spotify, blocking other users" and the most earliest news abt this headline was 3 days ago, abt the time i was like "im working on my self concept. Things should work out for me". I shifted between realities and i manifested this feature. Lol.

omggg girl thanks for sharing thissss

this is a very powerful reminder that even things we think are “too small” or “impossible” can shift when we just relax into the version of us who knows things work out. You weren’t obsessing, you didn’t force, you just chose trust over panic and let it go.

And the universe literally rearranged itself for you.

It’s such a perfect example of how self-concept isn’t about effort, it’s about identity. When you decided you’re someone who things work out for, the reality matched that.

it’s real proof that your power has never left. Keep remembering who you are. <3

[jjkamochoso]

hello hellooo my love 🤩✨️

can i request a match up with jjk men please? 🥹🙏

ok so im an infp. im very quiet and reserved and speak only when necessary. im pretty stoic and often come off as relaxed and nonchalant despite the raging storm inside me bc anxiety hehe :) but once you get to know me deeply, you'll get to meet the whimsical/fun side of me. im really closed off tho it will be so hard to break down my walls. i might come off as cold, but deep down im pretty affectionate and romantic. im very sensitive to my surroundings, people's behavior etc. and notice the smallest changes in them and may get upset over things that many people don't even notice. im super into philosophy and psychology, always analyzing everything and never letting things go easily. im all about being both rational and emotional and maintaining a balance between the two. i also love art, cinema and literature. they're basically my life lol... so... yeah ig that's about it :)

love you and appreciate you so much take care babe byeee👋🫶❤️‍🔥

JJK Matchup for @cntloup

Hello!! Thank you for sending this in!! I hope you like it :) <3 also, thank you for always being so very sweet!!!

There were a few JJK guys that you definitely could be a good fit with but ultimately I'd match you with...

Nanami Kento!

Nanami certainly doesn't mind your quiet demeanor; in fact, he welcomes it with open arms! I could envision you two enjoying an evening in, no words necessary, watching television or engaging in your separate hobbies (him reading while you do whatever it is you like!) while sitting next to each other or cuddling.

As a couple, your stoicism confuses anyone who knows either of you, but only in the sense that they're surprised you both happened to find someone who was so extremely similar to yourselves! With you being an INFP and interested in philosophy and psychology, Nanami loves the way he can talk with you about those types of intellectual topics since he's never had anyone in his life capable or willing to hold a conversation like that with him. Your INFP traits of being loyal and compassionate also resonate with him as those are characteristics he embodies as well and desires in a partner.

His calm and collected personality comes in handy whenever you feel overwhelmed by your anxiety. He encourages you to speak openly with him about how you're feeling so you two can work through whatever problems you might have and lead you to overcome any bad thoughts. Breaking down your walls is a challenge that Nanami understands well as you're most likely doing the same thing with him. With enough patience and understanding, you two slowly but surely unravel each other's fears and uncertainties, uncovering the whimsical and fun side of you, and exposing the romantic, softhearted side of him.

Nanami often shows his irritation on his face so you don't have to put your keen senses to work to see if he's frustrated. I could see how his aptitude for bluntness can lead to friction in your relationship because of the way you might interpret that as him being upset with you, but as long as you two don't revert to your cold exteriors when talking over the issue, you can quickly work it out with proper communication and reassurance. Your balance of rationality and emotion is helpful in these situations!

Ending on a positive note, I think you and Nanami would go on dates to museums, art galleries, theaters, operas, libraries, anything in the realm of sophistication. Before or after the activity you would enjoy romantic candlelit dinners, whether at home or at a high caliber restaurant, and Nanami would never hesitate to offer you his jacket if you were cold! And, of course, as you two head home, you would be analyzing everything you saw or experienced, holding a fantastically cultured conversation.

[newty]

under the cut: over a thousand words of me ranting meta about my experience writing and reading sex. ace thoughts that are mostly writing craft thoughts. and some nol/eli smut from my draft

i usually approach smut like a challenge: i get to use all my purple prose and try making smth interesting out of smth i usually find repetitive and underwritten.

sex scenes often expect the reader to be aroused, or to convince themselves that they're aroused, or to believe the content is arousing. and im ace and that doesnt work for me. i think sex is a really important facet of humanity, but our artistic standards promote superficial engagement with it. art frequently reflects the viewer's desires back at them instead of actually doing the work to influence them.

a common criticism in contemporary writing is how some work doesnt put in the effort to engage a reader's emotions or intellect. in particular, bc it doesn't need to waste time establishing a narrative ethos, fanfic frequently relies on the reader to do the emotional heavy lifting. i think many sex scenes, written in fanfic or not, follow this approach in their construction--and it's why they fail to engage me

(they also fail bc im a snob. this argument is not to say badly written sex shouldn't exist or that ppl shouldn't write it unless they can relate a blowjob to some immutable human condition. but i think sex deserves to be engaged with critically instead of treated with indifferent craft)

i think a succinct way to observe this phenomenon from a broader, less touchy lens is through traumatic backstory that falls flat. if a character is introduced as a war orphan, the reader is expected to pity them. there's no craft to that. it's a lazy shorthand for actual emotional development & depth.

but if a character is introduced as a middle class office worker that spends 6 hours at their shift dreaming of a starbucks coffee--and drops that coffee once they get into their car, the reader is made to pity them.

i want to be made to feel like something is erotic. i will hopefully never know what it feels like to be stabbed, but good writing will emulate that feeling. when it comes to pornography, i often think of julian anthony guerra's work at masquerade/bad boy press.

‘The one thing I asked all of them’, Guerra wrote of his contributors to Come Quickly [1996], ‘was to use as few words as possible to turn me on as fast as they could.'

the active effect that the writing has is critical to its success. sexual arousal is as neutral a feeling to inspire as joy or fear, and it requires skill to be translated into words. i think guerra/anonymous' work is some of the best i've read, and his victorian-style porn in imre (1992) regularly inspires me with its detail:

Running my fingers over the hard ridges of his torso's grand musculature—the hints of which I had seen impressed through the soft, crisp officer's shirt he'd worn that afternoon—I would taste the tanned skin of his belly and slowly pull his undergarments to unveil his beautiful and prominent cock, itself standing and pulsing at full attention, fattened and fortified with passion.

i love an adjective. i love a verb. the active voice, balance of pauses, and admiring voice really pull this sentence together. it shares itself with the reader instead of directs them.

most of my experience with published erotica is the victorian kind, and this part from sins of the city of the plain (1881) is fairly typical of the experience

he was so excited that he appeared to come at once; but keeping his place, he soon commenced a proper bottom fuck, which both of them gave signs of enjoying intensely, for I could fairly hear his belly flop against Boulton's buttocks at every home push, whilst each of them called the other by the most endearing terms

it's lewd, rough, and direct, but not very interesting. teleny (1893) is the best of them, and inspires me the most of late victorian queer erotica. i think this bit from ch4 compares well to the one above, and it's successful for the way its commas mimic staccato and its adjectives are more evocative (burning, spasmodic) than instructive (proper, intense).

He was, therefore, only able to rub himself against her; but that was more than enough, for after a few violent shakes of their buttocks, legs pressed, and breasts crushed, the burning liquid which he injected within her body gave her a spasmodic pleasure, and she fell senseless on the panther skin whilst he rolled, motionless, by her side.

and as for my own writing:

for the gyr abania scenes (thunderous, armistice), i was more interested in lyricism and metaphor than the sex itself, so there's more summary than exact detail. even if there's a few clunky sentences, i still think they make strong scenes, and i paid special attention to ensuring that i balanced actively visual verbs (flashed, highlighting) with emotive verbs (mania, playing).

Lightning flashed and broke off the golden links of Elliot’s necklace, its little shadows highlighting the warm shallows of his collar and throat. Nolanel followed the chain with a series of open kisses, and teased his tongue against rain-wet skin. Grace could not spare him the delicate mania of Elliot’s fingers at his nape, playing slowly with his thick hair.

'will it snow?' is where i really hit a stride. the length meant i needed detail, so i put special emphasis on fitting self-reflection between the sexual sentences.

Nolanel swept back and away, preening under Elliot’s ravishing, flushed gaze. The thrum of raw life was there in Nolanel’s teasing whistle and Elliot’s heavy audible breath. As the carriage jolted again, they could only laugh and hold to each other, muttering how awful and how wondrous. Intoxicated, Nolanel lifted Elliot’s leg and guided it tenderly to his shoulder

i kept strictly to action after action in 'the waves now loose' since the point was desperate insistence and experimentation. i used dialogue to segment and progress 'the light i hear,' which gave it a lot of character and emotional depth without too much navel-gazing.

i deeply need to avoid naval-gazing in my next piece. 'more than this' is nol and eli's first time having sex, and it's a unique challenge to balance. i want to have indulgent detail, but i need to keep it within a short span of time + activity. i can't overwhelm it with nolanel's messy angst thoughts, but i cant platform elliot's exhilaration either since he's not pov. the answer is to make them communicate. i just gotta get them to talk, bc rn the average dialogue is four nervous words each.

i'm also considering an approach i accidentally did with 'will it snow?' where i wrote all of the second sex scene as a letter from elliot to nol, describing a hypothetical fantasy. then i translated it from the first person letter to nol pov narration. if i can get elliot to monologue about how hot nolanel is, i can lay out some of the details that nol is blind to (so. 90% of the details).

heres my cover art for the story and some smut title drop as thanks for making it to the end KJSFHDKSJDHF

Disgust flickered in his mind. What he wanted would not change. He was ablaze with need for Elliot’s quavering breath and the thrill of hands on his body, and that would haunt him until he had it. Paralysis still edged toward his resolve, but it vanished as Elliot’s whisper skimmed his cheek: “Go on.”

Nolanel moved closer, uniting their darting hearts, guiding their lips together. The raw ache in his chest cracked like something real, and rapacious need replaced his every thought and movement. He snared Elliot against the tall window, where glass angels danced in the azure. Gentle light traced Elliot’s body in blue and dyed Nolanel the same.

Suddenly he knew restraint died with fear.

He returned his mouth to Elliot’s neck and sighed. The pulse against his lips quickened. He kissed warm skin to flame under his teeth. His eyes were not shut now—he wanted only to see Elliot, greedy and mortal with wanton pleas, glowing with ecstasy as if he were a saint.

He met Elliot’s lips again, always overcome, always awed by desire. Their breaths attuned to the haphazard lulls between kiss after kiss, air pulling across teeth screaming to collide.

For a moment he wondered how life could come to this: his chest beating against another, a tongue like holy fire in his mouth, love spoken in soft moans.

Elliot’s fingers snagged in Nolanel’s hair. He broke away and laughed like time had no war against him. His fingertips constantly traveled, skimming Nolanel’s ears and jaw, circling his arms and tracing his shoulder blades. When Elliot's hands swept under Nolanel’s jacket, Nolanel shuddered as if that exploring touch were directly on his skin.

It terrified him and he was senseless with want for more. He wanted to be nearer, nearer, sharing warmth, mouths open, skin, all rapture and awe and bliss.

A murky shame trailed through him, indefinable and weak, and he dismissed it by freeing the word in his heart. "Yes," he said, as candid as a prayer. 

Yes, I’m here. I know, I understand, yes, I love. I need you in the same way, through life, beyond death, come laughter and hell, yes, I’m here for you. I do love you.

No wrong or worry found him now. Nolanel grazed the back of his hand across the rigid heat of Elliot's cock. He rubbed a knuckle into the thick fabric and murmured, "May I say goodbye to you like this?"

"More than this," Elliot leered, raising his chin. He snatched Nolanel’s teasing hand and guided his fingers back to him, to the first button of his jacket.

[cxyotl]

fuck it. van der linde gang members rated by how willing i would be to actually go fishing with them as someone who is autistic about fishing:

arthur: 9/10. would be 10, i feel like hes a great sportsman and would be mindful with the catch and release, but hes a little too self deprecating. ur scaring away the fish dude.

john: 9/10. also a great sportsman. i think he has plenty of respect for the fish but if he fell into the water i wouldnt be able to save him and that stresses me out.

abigail: 6/10. she seems like the type to just wanna hang out by you and watch and talk to you, which i always find a little awkward. maybe she’d ask to lend the rod for a couple goes which i wouldnt mind, and i WOULD love to just chat with her, but i’d probably just put my rod away and spend that time sitting with her and chatting.

jack: 2/10 he doesnt give a SHITTTTT. and hes like four years old what the hell do i talk about with a four year old. i do really enjoy helping others learn how to fish so maybe if it was me, him, and one other person i like out on the water together i could handle it. 12 year old jack is the same. 19 year old jack, i think i could convince him to go fishing but he still wouldnt rlly be game so :/

dutch: 0/10. he’d try to manipulate me into sharing my bait with him. also i feel like he’d talk about his stupid philosophy book too much and i’d have to drown him right there.

hosea: 9/10. solid grandpa & grandson fishing time. hell yes. supportive, chill, would probably buy us both drinks before the trip. he’s such an interesting guy i would never tire from hearing one of his random lore drops and i think he would listen to me too.

miss grimshaw: 3/10. i’m worried she’d yell at me over something small like. idk my choice of bait. and im so scared of disappointing her. idk if we’d have much to talk about either.

tilly: 10/10 i’d worry that im boring her but the conversation would be soooo fucking fire i think. shes real asf i think we’d be able to have some loooong talks about the gossip surrounding people in camp or like. the goals we have and how achievable we think they are. she’d totally get a little competitive and challenge me about which of us catches more, and she’d knock me CLEAN on my ass but i wouldnt even mind.

karen: 8/10. she kinda reminds me of my tia so i’d be nervous to invite her, but i think by the time we get to the spot we’d be able to enjoy our time. she’s really fun i think she’d catch a few fish and then go like “hey heres a crazy idea. lets jump in the freezing cold water.” definitely not the type to want to clean the fish though. and i might have to set up her rod for her bc she just doesnt feel like doin it that day.

mary-beth: 8/10. i think she’d really enjoy the fight when reeling in a fish, and i think she would really enjoy the peaceful time out in nature you get with fishing, but then again she might go super quiet and use it as like “ohhh my god i need to pay attention to everything thats going on rn so that if i ever write a character who goes fishing i know Exactly how it feels and how it works” and then it’d be like. us sitting in silence bc i’d be too afraid to break her concentration.

molly: 5/10. same as abigail but i think she might be a little less inclined to try. which i still dont mind. we’d just make it a “sit by the river and talk about our feelings” thing at that point. which she desperately needs so i do NOT mind. molly girl come take a walk with me lets talk about why you need to leave dutch ASAP. LMFAO.

lenny: 9/10. i think he’d get a bit competitive and if we bring drinks i dont think he’d make it back to camp alive. especially if theres a bite going on i think he’d get a little TOO hyped up. HOWEVER. his mind is extremely interesting to me and i think the quiet moments where there isnt a bite taking all his attention he’d be very fun to discuss philosophy with.

bill: 2/10. between chapters 2-4, maybe. i think he’d be like weirdly mean about something and piss me off early on and then it’d get really awkward. chapters 5 and beyond? sorry probably not.

javier: 10/10. if i embarrass myself in front of him i might as well walk into the river and never come back. tbh. but hes cool and he’d share his bait if its working better than mine.

charles: 11/10. definitely mindful and respectful to the fish. would totally be on board with going on a fishing trip and would be super fun to hang out with. i dont think he’d talk much, but he’d be hella supportive and compliment the catches you get and honestly thats enough. hes a quiet dude i cant blame him.

sadie: 10/10. idk if shes interested in fishing at all but it seems like a hobby she’d enjoy. even if just to take some of the edge off after a particularly big mission.

sean: 8/10. half the fun of fishing is dropping ur lore with whoever ur fishing with and i truly would not mind hearing about his da or whatever other stories he’s got. i know for a FACT he’d be an active listener and engage with the conversation fully, so it’d be really nice. however if he got bored of it he might start purposefully trying to get me to mess up by scaring away the fish or something and i would have to shoot him dead.

kieran: dude like 12/10 he’s the ideal fishing buddy. confident about his abilities and still very complimentary and supportive? yup. openly excited about the trip? yup. freely sharing whatever tips he’s uncovered over the years? YUP. i also believe he’d be mindful of his catch. idk hes a very nice guy i cant see him being like mean to the fish he catches.

pearson: 10/10. fishing stories galore from that man. i would not mind hearing him yap about like. “i watched a guy get eaten by a shark once.” like what the hell?? tell me more silly man. he probably brings some real good bait to throw in, too. experienced, but willing to lend a hand. i love you pearson.

trelawny: solid 5/10. he might pull a magic trick out and duplicate the single fish he caught and it would piss me off so bad i would start killing and eating him. that or its just a genuinely enjoyable time.

uncle: 3/10 hes fun as fuck but i fear he’d bring out some truly horrifying bait. last time i made a fishing hc with him i said he’d bring scrambled eggs and i stand by this observation. anyway, i’d enjoy it for a while and then he’d stress me out.

strauss: 0/10 i dont ljke him

swanson: 1/10. i love you reverend swanson but you are… a mess. idk if i’d trust him around a body of water for very long. during the epilogue when hes like sober and happy again maybe i’d take him out to the lake for a bit but then he’d be too busy. 1 points bc i need to explore his mind and the fishing spot is the best spot for that.

micah: -100000/10 i’d rather die than ever be alone near micah bell. honestly if we were FORCED to go fishing together i might straight up kill him right there before he gets the chance to utter a single slur i do NOT fw him.

Bonus! jeremy gill: -100000000000/10 he brings dishonor on the noble hobby of fishing. i hate this guy.

[andxnte]

hi everyone and happy midas opening day!! im super excited to be here and get involved so... let me introduce myself and the boy and hopefully get some connections going asap!!

anyway i'm mars (they/them, 25+, discord available upon request but im usually better in tumblr ims tbh) and this is chu dantae! though Officially it's romanized as "dante" for his celebrity work these days... i won't bore u with the fine details here since they're on his profile and history pages but i will kinda describe where he's at right now and include a few plot and connection ideas below!

ok about dante.....

this is unfortunate but he's actually incredibly asocial, depressed, burned out, and hates everyone and everything at all times. which might make him difficult to plot with but bear with me because i SWEAR there are ideas below to get started with...

tl;dr is that he's been doing this idol thing in some capacity for nearly 15 years and he's suffering from burnout and resents his image and his family who are constantly asking him for money yet he's been doing this since he was a kid so he has no other marketable skills and no idea what else he'd even want to do so. here he is. he's a muse really designed to dive into the nasty side of the industry and the psychological effect fame can have especially on someone young without a good support system!

very close friends only can call him dani behind the scenes. he'll probably change his name once he actually retires.

obviously he has his vices... and can be a little reckless behind the scenes, like he wants to ruin his own image and force his own retirement, but he doesn't want to actually plan it and cause it intentionally, so he's kinda playing mind games with himself and might sleep around, smokes, doesn't know moderation with drinking, goes to clubs (and then immediately goes home bc he's exhausted as it is and that only makes it worse), etc.

enough about him tbh let's get to the plot/connection ideas... it's a little tough since he's so asocial but let's see what we can do anyway!!

ok first of all there's a bunch of possible features up for grabs on his career page if anyone is interested in any of these! force dante to interact with his coworkers challenge. maybe your muse takes his asocial behavior as him being a diva, maybe they're sympathetic to his exhaustion, maybe they saw a little passion still left in him when he's actually doing music. lots open to discussion here!

also on his career page is mentioned that he was in a small company and unsuccessful boy band. i already looped @goldyashes into being another member of the group but it's absolutely open to more members... they just have to be older than dante. alternatively, the company could have had other trainees that overlapped paths w dante back then, maybe a girl group that was also ultimately unsuccessful?? i left things intentionally vague so we can plot around it!

exes, fwbs, hookups, flings, etc.... i feel like dante has/had a messy love life... admittedly he has a bad view of women because of fans so inevitably that's going to potentially shape relationships, possibly gravitates more towards men (he would like to be clear that despite appearances and his public image he is Not a sub bottom. just for the record)

he needs friends... people who put up with his prickliness because they know there's a good heart under there... he's actually so tsundere actually he'll say i hate u leave me alone but then he'll have your favorite drink in his fridge every time u come to see him...

he's great for making enemies/rivals too btw he's not afraid to be mean or to be the bully in someone else's life (if he feels justified in what he's doing/saying ofc... he's not evil for evil's sake)

uhhhh this is all i have for now but i'll add more as i think of things!! but please feel free to like the post or message me and let's plot!!!!!!

[monstertidbits]

hi i loved this finale very much i love falin and im so happy shes back...... also im obsessed with the choice to make laios forever unable to indulge his monster autism, and making him king. ITS SO INTERESTING i love this direction even though it sucks for laios, maybe there is something to be said about how you don't always achieve the thing you want most in life and that's okay, and the life you live is still worth a lot.... and also it's so something to me that laios is being such an adult about this, like yeah he wishes he was having fun doing his own thing and he really doesn't want to be king, but SOMEONE has to and unfortunately for him he's the absolute best candidate (((PRECISELY BECAUSE OF HOW WEIRD HIS PRIORITIES ARE))), so he'll do it, AND HE'LL DO IT WELL, he'll be the awesome, competent and kind ruler, but he'll still be kinda sad and mopey about not getting what he wanted. LIKE HE'S SUCH A GOOD KING, he brought so much good into this world, but he doesn't get particularly high and mighty about it because he doesn't really care that much about being a king. HE'S SO CHILL ABOUT IT!!!! motherfucker really ushers in a time of prosperity and peace, and he's still just sitting on his throne thinking "man.......... the monsters will NEVER hang out with me........... what is this life......." I LOVE HIM SOOOO MUUUUUUUCHHHHH i love that his whole future thjng is not getting what he wanted at all but absolutely excelling at the thing hes doing (that doesn't really do anything for him). absolute icon and my personal hero

NONNIEEE YEAHHH!!! I remember back when i first read ch60 and i was like "wait... this feels wrong", not liking the idea of laios becoming a king bc i knew it wasn't what he "really wanted". but now, after reading how he actually got to that point, it makes sense. and it's still kinda bittersweet. because we know that his interest in monsters was amplified and became all consuming bc of his struggle to connect with other people, feeling alienated everywhere he went. so not being able to interact with monsters much anymore and being a king of other humans is actually forcing him to face all those fears and struggles he was running away from all this time, and learn to define himself outside of his expertise. watching the best and worst of humanity so very closely as their ruler, and finding his own place among them. but the thing is, he always had a home to return to in the few people he loved. and that's why, through all the hardships and pain, it's still worth it. he was ready to have something taken away from him and quite literally had to give up his most defining trait. so who is he now? can he manage without the comfort of monsters?

the answer is yes. he is not alone. and it may not be the most satisfying conclusion for him but it might be what he needed most. to learn how to live in peace with his own self, with the world surrounding him. and all being said, it was pointed out time and time again: how he wasn't really planning for the future, how he didn't have any strong conviction leading him. but it all changed after he killed his sister with his own hands. i think chapter 67 was a defining moment in laios's journey for many reasons, but especially this: for once, he chose not to run away. he decided that HE will be the one to challenge his fate and bend it as he wishes. otherwise, he could've given up on resurrecting falin long ago. but he didn't, not just for the sake of his sister but those people who put their faith in them and tried their best FOR them. it's ironic, how it was precisely inside the monsters' world that he was finally able to connect with the humans he despised so much in the most genuine way. and after facing the absolute worst, he can definitely find in himself the strength to deal with anything, king or not. so like you said- the man is gonna be fine somehow. i love him so much

[sieglinde-freud]

so the way endings in awakening work is a bit off if you have the gay mod because it reads single people normally, but married people have the man’s ending read, and then his wife just. attached. and so that alters which ending you see for both of them. unfortunately, that means if i have f/f pairs, which most of them were, i dont get to see any because none of them were read. and at least with the second gen, i did almost entirely f/f pairs, which dont show up, or m/m pairs, which had nothing written, so. everyone please give it up for gerome and cynthia, the only second gen ending i got to see!

😭😭 good for them!!! anyways unorganized final thoughts under cut so i dont have to make a whole other post for it

awakening lunatic sucks! but project thabes makes it suck a little less. in all honesty i had a lot of fun, awakenings a good game to revisit, and finding a way to make it challenging while being able to use my favorite units (awakening second gen) ever was awesome. normally having all 13 (or 14 in this case, with both morgans) would break the game, but lunatic kept the enemies strong, so it didnt matter what my units had. i actually got overwhelmed a lot 😭 HUGE difficulty jump between hard and lunatic all i’m saying. and then the games like “hey now u have lunatic+ if that interests you” NOOOOO THANKS.

anyways. here are my top three guys according to the medal thingies at the end

im so proud of them :3 of all the kids really but yeah these three were huge standouts. virion actually got a change in the mod where one of his subclasses was swapped for myrmidon, so yarne got to inherit astra which was actually insane? it procced ALL THE TIME so. that was crazy. chrom!inigo and fred!cynthia are always good thats not new but they were really clutch in the last few chapters. i had them both hopping around classes for most of the game bc thabes redoes skill progression so. IT TOOK CYNTHIA SO LONG TO LEARN LUNA. ITS FROM WYVERN LORD. GOD. she went through a LOT of classes yall dont even know. also honorable mention to marc and morgan, the best rallybots ever, and dancer lucina, who was outserving everyone she was in a scene with. my girl.

like ok serving cunt on the back of the god youre about to kill? get it girl!

anyways so for second gen pairs i did: lucina/f!morgan, owain/m!morgan, inigo/laurent, yarne/brady, severa/kjelle, nah/noire, and cynthia/gerome and you know what. i think i have a great taste. a lot of these were born from being unable to do other pairings but thats ok. i liked how it turned out. though i was gonna do nah/noire anyways because they were actually like. an insane duo. honestly im surprised noire didnt get a medal thing bc i feel like her nostanking with nah backing her up got me out of so much shit. maybe its because i didnt see her ending… oh. oh wait thats probably it. well. anyways.

i think awakening is not a properly balanced game, nor are the maps made for a difficulty like this. towards the end game especially, the maps are just. flat. most of them anyways, and they just become really repetitive and bland and boring. and despite this being the game with the tactician character of all the time, they dont really allow you flexible strategies, because if youre not pair up stat stacking, you will die! and that sucks. mid game is alright, but the last arc is really weak and kinda dampered my whole experience. im glad i did it, but i wouldnt actually reccomend it to anyone unless you like to play like that (which is totally fine! its just not my thing). definitely requires some solid planning as well. all in all, not the worst fire emblem ive played but… well. im not doing it again. ok anyways heres inigo mouthing off at grima