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paztapas · 1 year ago

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Please, I implore you, don't read this. I just needed somewhere to put these thoughts.

Today, I watched a video about childhood youth, summer, and nostalgia. It's a long video, and without having finished it, I had considered it a comfort.

Having now perceived the video in it's entirety, and reflected on the nostalgia of it's creator as well as my own youth, I find myself... I'm anguish.

While I have, no doubt, many wonderful experiences in my youth, few brilliant and dazzling moments of nostalgia come to my mind when I think upon my childhood. Instead, I'm reminded of the fear and anxieties of growing up. Of the loudness of the slamming of a front door, or the rage of a parent. But as I grow older, the more I find my youth painted by a far more vivid pigment.

More than anxiety, which is a through line of my every waking and sleeping existence, the colour of my childhood is loss.

I was in first grade when id decided to sneak home to a friend, Amber Fitzgerald's home. She'd invited me to Florida with her family on a vacation. I'd mentioned this to my family, and so the next day had snuck onto the bus ride home with her. My grandmother had been waiting to take me home, grading papers or attending some manner of school meeting before taking us home. When I didn't show up, she panicked and called the police.

When id gotten to Amber's house, I hid under her bed, waiting with excitement for the trip to Florida. We would go to Disney. Her bedroom smelled. She shared it with her sister, and the combined smell of two young unclean adolescent girls felt foreign to my young nose. This must have been the first girls bedroom I'd ever set foot in.

The police came after a handful of minutes. I'd be grounded for a month, later that night.

Four years later, the grandmother who would take us home every day after school, in her dark green eagle that stunk of Newport nicotine passed away due to surgical complications. The surgeon had severed a clot he'd meant to remove, which went straight to her heart. She died, consuming Culver's, a fast food joint newly opened in our town.

I did not handle her death well. It was the first instance of loss in my life, and it was a woman who had influenced me possibly more than any other human on the planet. My memories of her are miserably faint, but I can't recall a single negative one. Her loss irrevocably changed and ruined my family forever, and is likely the reason none of my family speaks with one another to this very day. It was abrupt. A field trip day to a farm in fifth grade ended by losing the one individual thus far in life who truly seemed to think I mattered.

I played sonic adventure 2 after I'd heard the news. As if sliding down those city streets on the torn wing of a helicopter would help me and my siblings outrun the conception of death that forced it's way into our young lives. Of course it didn't work.

10 is probably a normal age to first experience and learn of the conception of death and mortality. But while death itself is a normal fear, what is most palpable to me is the absence accompanying death. The knowledge that one will never again speak with the one you lost. Never see their smile. I'd never get to feel the wrinkled but soft skin of my grandmother's hand as I held it at a Greek resteraunt with a menu I didn't recognize any listed item. I didn't learn to fear mortality as much as that loss itself.

A movie that instills fear in me to this day is A Woman in Black. Daniel Radcliffe's first venture in cinema outside of the realm of Harry Potter, the conception of a ghost just... Staring at me filled me with dread. Like the ring before it, a simple woman shrouded in darkness instilled fear in me that hasn't ever left. This fear would later be recreated and amplified by Lisa from PT.

I saw this movie in theaters on a whim. My friend amber, barely a friend at this point, had asked to see it with me. I hadn't spoken with her since our combined first and second grade classes had been split up, and I'd transferred schools after being told I would never learn to read. I remember thinking how quaint it was that I'd meet up with Amber of all people. How naive a child I was to have hidden under her bed, failing to tell my grandmother where I was going. I remember thinking judgementally about amber, and rumors of her falling in with a bad crowd. I remember lamenting how growing up into our perceived adulthoods had caused us to grow apart. I remember thinking I should talk with her more.

In 2010 I entered high school. I ended up dating several girls throughout the four years I spent in school, and there'd be a single reoccurring theme. We all wanted to die. Innumerable nights I would spend on the land-line phone of our house, later advancing onto the prepaid minutes of my first cellphone, I would coax friends and significant others away from the proverbial ledge of suicide. It seemed so much easier, and quicker than finding resolutions for the issues we were facing. How could a kid solve the problem of domestic abuse, or disgusting feeling of sexual abuse. How were we expected to live five times our current lifespan with this much pain and anxiety. Some time in 2012, I mentioned these thoughts to my parents. Parents who had spent the better part of the past six years since my grandmother's death screaming. At eachother, at themselves, and at us. The same parents who would grab us by the throat, throw ceramic mugs at us, or who would punch me in the gut for raising my hands to protect my face.

They sent me to a mental health facility called Pine Rest, in Grand Rapids. I was enrolled there three seperate times. I met many people who were struggling with similar thoughts. I learned, albeit in an indirect way, the one coping mechanism which helped me survive to adulthood. Setting goals and ideals far off into the future to keep me moving forward. Goals which my miserable wretch of a self never thought possible to achieve. Goals that kept me alive to this very day. I've achieved more of those goals than I can count.

The day I went home from my third visit, my father attempted to kill himself. Using the very pills I'd been prescribed at this facility, he downed the entire brand new bottle. I later learned this was due to learning his wife had been cheating on him since he was fired the year prior. I had no idea, and thought my existence was the cause.

This third time at the hospital, I had spent the better part of the two weeks attempting to determine any possible way forward. I learned this coping mechanism of goal setting at this very session, and it proved far more beneficial than "just imagine the abuse you're suffering at the hands of your parents drifting away" or other almost comedic things the doctors at the facility had told me.

While there for those final two weeks, I met Amber. Of all the people who could have been there, and all the facilities in the area, here we both were. Two kids from the same fucked up little town, for the same reasons. I remember going to say goodbye to her on the day I was discharged, but she wasn't in her room. She'd been wheeled out on a stretcher due to some health complications with her medicine. I endeavored to reconnect with her once again after I got home.

In my junior year of school, with my powerful new coping mechanism tucked firmly under my shoulder, I endeavored to improve my livelihood. I became more social, spent more time out of the house away from my parents, and made a number of friends. I learned to drive, and got back together with an ex.

While her mother hated me, she would sneak away from her house in the afternoons, and pick me up. We would park in some secluded forested road and spend time talking, kissing, and generally just attempting to enjoy what small freedoms we had developed as budding adults.

On one such afternoon, in the summer between my junior and senior years of high school, I received a call from my elder brother. A brother who so rarely spoke to me that in my entire life we've likely exchanged less than an hours worth of conversation. I remember thinking about ignoring the call.

My brother, in his first year as an EMT, had received a call for a young girl in cardiac arrest behind the wheel of a car.

Amber.

Amber Fitzgerald, who had not been wheeled out of the hospital that day due to complications. But due to her failing to fail to die.

The way she had chosen, was overdosing on ibuprofen. She consumed an entire bottle, and failed to die that day. But the act had caused terminal liver damage, which had been discovered the day she was wheeled out of the hospital. At the age of seventeen, she'd given herself an irreversible death sentence. One she'd be forced to spend her final year of life regretting.

I had forgotten, neglected to reach out after I'd gotten home. The attempt by my father to kill himself had pushed her existence to the furthest point in my mind.

I'm told she regretted deeply, her instinctual decision to die that day. That she climbed behind the wheel of that car to cry and die. Alone.

I went to her funeral the next week. My elder brother, the only comfort to my miserable bawling self. A brother who I had perceived as selfish, ignorant, and cruel, the patient and kind source of comfort I needed.

I would never see her again. I wouldn't get that chance to catch up with her that I swore I would have. I'd never get to joke with her about how dumb we were to sneak me aboard that school bus, deceiving the bus driver into taking me to her house. I wouldn't get to learn about the woman she had become in the time we had spent apart. And she would never become a woman in her own right.

I haven't lost somebody close to me since that day. But the agony of the loss of those I care about has inexorably changed me into the person I am today. Endeavoring every single day to cherish those in my life who care about me, I wish I could try harder still. I never learned the fear of my own mortality, but am kept alive by the fear of the loss I would inflict on others. And the pain of the absence of those I love encourages me to hold them close. I fear for the day that this absence enters my life again.

Please, don't read this. I just needed to somehow put the anguish I felt at a 6 hour video essay about a video game about a summer break to word.

#cw sui mention #mental illness

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thegodwhocums · 29 days ago

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alright I'm going to use this reblog to absolutely vent and then I'm going to make a positive post

i know i have mutuals who see the political situation differently than I do, if you leave bc of this post i get it

housemate has been in inpatient since last Friday, I had to coach him in how to frame his suicidality over the phone to get the psych to take him seriously, the triage nurse kept repeating "medications have side effects sometimes" like housemate was brand fucking new, extremely condescending

i got on the phone and was very fucking firm that we needed a call back from a psych THAT DAY and no it could not wait through the weekend - and that call back ended with "can you get yourself to the ER or do I need to call 911?"

did not enjoy coaching housemate thru describing exactly how he would overdose on pills, have been kind of fucked from that tho obviously not so bad by comparison

intake found out he was trans and then examined and asked him inappropriate questions about his genitals, apparently bc it is FACILITY POLICY to house patients based on their genitals, which in the state of NY at least is illegal (once he's out we hope to cause problems for this hospital) and strangely enough was not helpful in calming housemate's emotional state

when he brought it up later a resident doctor apologized and then said "we just don't get a lot of trans patients" GOSH I WONDER WHY NOT "but I'm really excited to learn from you" and proceeded to GRILL HIM FURTHER ABOUT HIS BODY AND ABOUT BEING TRANS which resulted in, surprise surprise, a huge backslide in his mental state

now fortunately he is someone with an extremely robust and skilled support system of loved ones who include medical professionals and legal experts, so like. he had a very bad time but is probably going to be ok. BUT MOST PEOPLE DON'T HAVE THAT

the hospital also wouldn't? tell us?? or him??? when he was being released???? it's voluntary bro can he leave or can't he 😫

ANYWAY

ALL THAT ASIDE

this stupid fucking ELECTION is fucking HORRIBLE, I HATE these motherfuckers, and also I do a shit ton of advocacy work and it means having to choose my opponents, and all these zionist shitbags are running against OTHER zionist shitbags who ALSO want to persecute trans girls and strip the meager environmental regulations that haven't been kneecapped by the overturning of the Chevron doctrine so more brown people in more places get fucking poisoned. like this is not an abstract problem. I voted for five people and hated four of them. this sucks this sucks this sucks

it's going to be 80°F whether I live today, nothing i can do will help the climate enough, Sudan is in famine in part because the fucking US keeps putting out emissions that are turning THEIR fields into deserts, through no fault of theirs. "the wars of the future will be fought over water" is right, talk about multiple genocides - I live in the place where the problems come from and am not doing enough to stop them

nothing i can do will stop the fucking bombs in Gaza, I thought protesting would make some small difference at least with our most local elected officials but it hasn't, they don't give a fuck, they keep doubling and tripling down on their support for Israel to do whatever it wants, and any attempts at a ceasefire negotiation are a fucking farce - bro YOU ARE SUPPLYING THE BOMBS. BE FUCKING SERIOUS

every day I sit down to do something and think to myself, "this is possible bc no one is bombing my house, I have the privilege of sitting down to dinner with my family bc we aren't being shot down like dogs in the street, my garden is growing while the IDF bulldozes olive trees older than my grandmother"

everything is brutality

and surely there are solutions that aren't industrial sabotage or political assassination, but FRANKLY I AM RUNNING OUT OF OTHER IDEAS

those kinds of tactics are life-ending. and if they worked, there would be math to do. but they aren't working. the valve turners are doing life in prison for shutting off one pipeline for 45 minutes. nothing has changed

i still can't sleep through the night. it's been five months

very hopeless

feeling very shitty this week

(i know, how original)

#reblog #suicide cw #medical industrial complex #ask to tag #climate crisis #imperialism #violence #sleep

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missameliep · 2 years ago

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Hi Dani! I hope you're doing well! Can you answer the following questions for Zoe - 🍒 🍑 and for Elizabeth - 😊💧

Have a lovely week 💕

Hi, Lori! I'm doing well, and I hope so are you! Thanks for the ask and sorry they got so big, but they were great questions and just inspired me to think about Zoe and Elizabeth's backgrounds and I'll share some of those with you bellow the cut

For Zoe:

🍒 What kind of things do they expect from their relationships? Does this differ between platonic relationships and romantic ones? Is your OC “demanding” or a door mat? What kinds of things do people expect from them in a relationship?

Zoe expects respect from any relationship, either platonic or romantic. That's the first thing. She can be very pragmatic. In her many conversations with her mother at the hospital, when she still didn't know she was dying, she heard her talk greatly about respect and to be proud of who she was and live her best life and those words still live in her mind... She always remembers when her mother quoted Frida Khalo's words from one of the inspirational books lying on the nightstand by the bed: "to not overstay where you can't love." She takes that to heart. Even with her father. Romantic relationships were not her main goal growing up, while classmates at the fancy school were worried about clothes for dates and if or if not X or Y would invite them for the dances, she was studying; besides, her father was overbearing and forbade her from dating until she was fifteen, but she actually didn't mind that, she didn't feel ready to date anyway and was too focused on getting into a great college to waste time with boys - that's what she normally said, even if there was a little part of her that was in fact afraid to be rejected by the people at the school who didn't see her as equal and mocked her hair and clothes, being one of the only black people in the school who were not working there. Logan was her first kiss, but Colt was actually the first romantic relationship ever. Zoe is not a door mat. Nothing between them would work if she was. She is headstrong and knows what she wants, and he respects that; she expects to be treated with respect and love; and if she can't find it in that relationship, either she is not loved or isn't in love, she won't linger. Not because she can't feel attached to other people, but because she needs to find a sense of belonging and mutual affection, she has it with Riya, even if they are completely different in so many aspects, they can set boundaries and support and love each other.

🍑 Where is your OC’s favourite place to relax or calm down? Recount a story of their time spent in this place! What makes it so special to them?

For a long time, it used to be the beach. Her earliest memories are going to the beach with her family. Her father would drive and take them there, her mother would be excited and singing along with the radio - maybe the back of the car in those days was one of this special places - and even when she got older and became a teenager, she would enjoy going with them. She learned from her mother how to swing, and she loved floating in the sea and squinting her eyes to look at the sky and the sun, watching the clouds passing overhead. After her mother got sick and died, the school library became her refuge, not only to study even harder to get to the future she envisions. Every time things got awful at that school and classmates would bully her, instead of fighting back risking her scholarship and future, she would go there, pick a random book - Lord of The Rings was the first she read in a moment like that, it was just lying there on the return kart, and it was so huge, it would be enough for her to calm herself down and wait until her father would go to work and she wouldn't have to explain why her eyes were puffy from crying. And it worked. She came for more and more. Picking books at random from the shelves, some were good, some were not, but in the end it didn't really matter.

Is there anywhere your OC hates to go to? Anywhere that stresses them out or have negative memories of?

The hospital. Any hospital. The smells, the sounds, the memories, it all triggers her. She even recoils when she sees ambulances in the streets. The first time she was taken to a hospital after her mother passed made her cry. She was twelve and fell down at the park while playing with friends, and Riya's mother took her there. A gentle nurse tried to calm her down, even if he didn't understand what was going on and that the sobbing girl was there only to get some stitches on her chin. He would say it was not that bad, and asked if she was afraid of it leaving a scar... Zoe couldn't talk and just shook her head, when her father got there, he understood it all, and hugged her.

2. Elizabeth

😊 What can make your OC smile even when they’re feeling down? What cheers them up and makes everything feel better for them? Is your OC genrally a happy person and do they enjoy making others smile?

Sunny days make her smile. Elizabeth loves the sun, and the beach was the place she knew she could go by herself to be better, having her feet touch the sand and diving in the cold waters was usually a good medicine to bad days. But other than that, I think going for rides with her bike and having a good company, either to have some icecream or just talk nonsense to take her mind away from what's making her sad could do her good too.

Is she a happy person? That's not an easy question to her. Sometimes she thinks she is, others she thinks she's not and that she's a downer, but people who knows her don't see it that way. They know that sometimes she'll get sad - like everybody does - but most of the time she makes lovely company and they love her sense of humor, when she's relaxed. The desire to please people is always there, but she particularly likes making people smile, either by acknowledging they need a friend and trying to cheer them up or sending them memes she's sure they'll think are funny.

What about your OC makes others happy? Depending on who you ask that question, the answer can vary greatly. To her father, for instance, seeing her happy is enough to make him happy. But he also enjoys talking to her, listening to her speak about what she's passionate about. If you ask Hamid, he'll have a dozen items list for you, from the way it's so easy to talk to her, how she listens to him and sees him as a person, how funny she can be - he teases her, but he loves her memes, even the Brazilian ones she has to explain - and when she smiles, he thinks it brightens the whole world, so he's got plenty of reasons.

💧 What is the earliest memory your OC can recall?

Elizabeth's earliest memories can not be memories at all, and are probably due to all the stories and pictures she's seen of her parents at their first home, and them walking at the beach... So, the first one she really knows is her own memory is from their first home at Rio, she remembers lying with her mother in her bed and having her stroke her hair and sing her to sleep. There was also a park they used to go, and she remembers the swings fondly.

Do they know what their first words were or remember where they took their first steps?

Her mother said her first words were "Oi" (the equivalent to Hi in Portuguese), "ma" to call her mother and a few other random words with the first syllables she could pronounce. Her first steps were taken in the flat they lived for a while on their own. There's no video of the first time she walked, but her mother was able to record the second time she pulled herself up holding onto the couch and took some resolute steps to reach her favorite toy at the time - a stuffed lion that belonged to her mother.

Do they have any mementos of their childhood they’ve kept such as a stuffed toy or tiny baby clothes?

Her mother kept all sorts of things, from the first clothes she worn (like the onesie she worn in the maternity hospital, the white robe when she was baptized, the first tiny sneakers and bikini) to some of the favorite toys, like this one doll her father gave her and she loved because it came from him. The one thing she kept from when she was little and took with her to London were the pictures, specially an album her mother collected from her baby pictures.

-------------------------

Thank you for sending this ask, Lori!

Jumbo Ask Game

#ask game #oc asks #oc: elizabeth foredale #oc: zoe #choices fanfic

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garlichoisan · 4 years ago

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Singing in the shower | liu yangyang

➸ Genre: Fluff

➸ Pairing: Yangyang × f reader

➸ Word count: 7 197

➸ Information:

college!au, childhood friends, friends to lovers, friends!NCT Dream 00 line, bestfriend!Yeji (ITZY), very slight NoMin references (Jeno + Jaemin), mention of Mark Lee, reader is a few months older than YangYang (born in the same year)

➸ Warnings: A lot of fluff as usual.

➸ Plot:

You're forced to learn how to live without your closest friend from childhood who has to go live in Germany with his parents, leaving you heartbroken. You thought YangYang was going to be by your side forever. As years have passed and you've almost started to forget about him, he suddenly appears in your life again, turning it upside down, and this time, nobody's leaving.

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

➸ A/N: This oneshot took me over 2 months and a half to write and was written as a part of my dear @renjunniehome's song fic challenge (?)

Not really a challenge, but it's an event where diffent NCT writers write fanfics based on songs so make sure to check it here: PLAYLIST FICS MASTERLIST

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

“I don't know, it's just something about ya

Got me feeling like I can't be without ya

Anytime someone mention your name

I be feeling as if I'm around ya”

YangYang and you have always been a package deal; you were so close as children that at one point people couldn’t imagine one of you without the other and honestly, you also couldn’t imagine what your life would be without your best friend. There was something about him that made you feel butterflies in your stomach, even though as a child you could not identify and understand clearly what it was.

Besides that, your parents and YangYang’s were very close so you sometimes had family dinners together; that happened often, since you were neighbors and your houses were literally right next to each other. Your parents loved YangYang like their own son, maybe because he spent so much time in your house, had dinner there, and even stayed the night quite often for your sleepover parties. Of course, his parents were also very happy when you went to his house in order to spend time with him. Everyone in the neighborhood thought you’d end up marrying each other when you grow up, even if your child selves denied it with disgust. However, you couldn’t deny that your face always lit up when your parents told you YangYang and his parents would be coming over for dinner. Just the mention of his name made you start jumping with excitement.

But apparently everything good had to end sooner or later. You could still remember the shock you felt when you learnt YangYang would be leaving his house which was right next to yours in order to go live and study in Germany. He explained with glossy eyes that his parents have found better work opportunities there and that this probably meant you wouldn’t see each other very often. When you first heard this, you burst out crying, hugging him tightly, begging him not to go. Even though he also didn’t want to go, he was just a child so he had to leave with his parents. That left you heartbroken; you tried to text him in the beginning in order to keep in touch but it was getting difficult because of the time difference, as well as the lack of personal contact. Slowly you started to get used to life without him, no matter how much you wanted him back, but you couldn’t really learn to be happy without him.

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

“Ain't no words to describe you baby

All I know is that you take me high

Can you tell that you drive me crazy?

'Cause I can't get you out my mind”

As the years were passing and you were growing up, you started to understand what your feelings for your childhood friend meant. Before you heard the word “crush”, you thought you just loved to be next to YangYang because he was funny and was making you laugh. But as a teenager, you realized you still missed him, even though you had no idea what he looked like now, how much he had changed, and most of all, you felt how you haven’t gotten over him at all. People your age started to date, but you weren’t interested in anyone, since subconsciously you kept comparing them to your childhood friend. You never even went to dates, and you realized how childish your behavior was, but honestly, nobody seemed like your type anyways. You barely had any friends, since the overly-romanticized idea of YangYang has turned into a standard for your friendships as well. You felt as if you were going crazy because of him as you only thought of him and how you would feel if you could meet him now.

* * *

A few years have passed and you were now in university, trying to live without the thought of YangYang as you realized you were probably never going to meet him again. Now you had some amazing friends who were bringing colors into your life and sometimes distracted you from thoughts about your childhood friend.

You were currently having lunch with your friends from your class. Suddenly you saw Jaemin, one of your friends, running towards your table and finding a place to sit, as he looked as if he was excited for some reason.

"Guys, big news! Apparently we're gonna have a new guy in our class. I heard he's German. I can't wait to meet him! European peopleare so good-looking!" Jaemin said with a dreamy gaze.

“Why would there be a German in our class?” You asked confusedly.

“I don’t know, that’s what the rumors are.”

As you heard the word ‘German’, you suddenly thought of YangYang again, trying to stop the association in your mind before it was too late. For the rest of lunch time you were a lot more silent than usual, quietly eating your food as Haechan was telling jokes, Renjun was laughing, and Jaemin kept annoying Jeno.

The next day you had an early class and as you heard your alarm ring, you groaned softly in annoyance, turning it off and literally rolling out of bed, as you fell to the floor, hugging your blanket, together with your bunny plushie which was actually a present from YangYang.

“Stop overreacting, you drama queen. Nobody has ever died from early morning classes,” your roommate and best friend, Yeji, said.

Sometimes you wondered how could she be so energetic, enthusiastic and optimistic, even early in the morning.

“Yeah, I might be the first one though,” you cried out, while holding the plushie tightly, refusing to accept the reality.

“Come on, if you get up now, I’ll buy you something delicious after classes,” Yeji promised, taking your hand to help you get to your feet.

When you heard her offer, your eyes lit up.

“Really?” You were still a little skeptical about believing her, even though you wanted to.

“Yes, knowing you, you’re probably just going to ask me to buy you a chocolate. Completely affordable,” Yeji chuckled, knowing she was right.

“Correct. Make it two, though. I feel this is going to be a difficult day.”

You finally took her hand and let her help you get up from the floor. After that you quickly put your plushie back in your bed, laying its head on your pillow, as you took the blankets from the floor and put them over the plushie, wanting it to feel warm. Yeji watched your actions with a wide smile on her face.

“Aww, you’re so cute. Now go get ready, or we’ll gonna be late.”

“Oh, how tragic that would be,” you said sarcastically, before going to the bathroom to wash your face and brush your teeth.

* * *

When you and Yeji entered the lecture hall, you found your classmates being more energetic and chattier than usual. You also noticed your friends, who were talking to a new guy, probably the one Jaemin mentioned the day before, as you recalled.

“Honestly I was a little disappointed to find out you weren’t actually German,” you heard Jaemin say and you giggled quietly.

“If those weird comments don’t scare the new guy off, I’d be really impressed,” Yeji noted, as she found a place near the window and you sat next to her.

“I agree,” you laughed, turning around to look at the new guy once again.

He looked somehow familiar to you, but you couldn’t tell why. When he noticed you looking at him he just stared at you for a couple of seconds while Jaemin and the rest of your friends were probably bothering him. You could swear you’ve seen those shiny dark brown eyes somewhere else before. But as you realized you were still looking at the guy, you quickly averted your eyes, so that he wouldn’t think you were some kind of a creep. You thought that maybe there was not a particular reason for his familiar vibe: maybe he just looked like somebody you’d befriend, that’s why he looked as if you already knew him, or at least that’s what you believed.

“I see the new guy has already caught your eye. The question is, how did he achieve that? You’re not usually interested in others,” Yeji pointed out.

“I-I’m not looking at him,” you denied, shaking your head. “Guys are basically a loss of time, except for my friends. But they’re too dumb for me to date one of them. Besides, only two of them are boyfriend material, they are Jaemin and Jeno, and they’re basically almost dating each other, even though they don’t know it yet,” you explained, taking your textbook out.

As you mentioned Jeno, you saw him coming to you and you looked at him questioningly.

“We promised to show the new guy around after this class, and then we’re going to have lunch with him. You and Yeji can also join us,” Jeno suggested and Yeji nodded.

“We’d love to!” You smiled and Jeno smiled back, returning to his seat, next to Jaemin.

When English class ended, you and Yeji went out of the lecture hall, waiting for your friends and the new guy. They were soon here and you all started walking around the hall, as you heard Haechan talking about the variety of books in the university’s library even though you’ve never seen him actually go there, so you were wondering how he knew this information. Meanwhile you and the new guy continued looking at each other and then averting your gaze without saying anything. You realized he still hasn’t introduced himself to you, but you couldn’t ask him for his name, because you were shy, so you just continued walking in silence, as the ones who were talking were mainly Haechan and Renjun.

When you went to the cafeteria and found a table, you left your things, so that the guys could watch over them, and you went to buy food with Yeji.

“Seriously, what’s going on between you and the new guy? You can’t stop looking at each other. You’ve never looked at a guy like that, so you can’t convince me you don’t like him,” Yeji stated, demanding an answer, as she took a bowl of rice.

“He just looks familiar, I don’t know why though. That’s all.”

“You know that when you meet your soulmate for the first time, you feel as if you already know each other?” Yeji asked, as you paid for your food and started walking back to the table with your best friend walking after you.

“Shut up,” you hit her arm playfully; you really wanted her to stop saying things like that.

When you went back to the table, you noticed only Jaemin and Jeno were there. Jaemin was feeding Jeno, holding a spoon of rice which he put into his mouth.

“Eat a lot, handsome,” Jaemin winked at Jeno who averted his head with discontent. “Do you want some kimchi?” He asked, as Jeno nodded, even though he didn’t want his best friend to feed him.

“Why are you feeding him? Can he not hold the utensils himself?” Yeji asked, as you hit her arm again.

“Be quiet, you’re ruining the romance,” you scolded her, as you continued looking at your two friends, as you sat across from them.

“What romance are you talking about, I just lost a bet,” Jeno groaned in disagreement with your statement.

“Was the bet letting Jaemin show his love for you freely?” You questioned him, as Jeno looked too flustered to answer.

“Something like that,” Jaemin confirmed. “Ah, Jeno, you’re such a messy eater! Here, let me wipe that off,” he said, as he wiped the rice off Jeno’s lips, using a tissue.

“Cute,” you whispered, looking away as you started eating your own lunch.

“Jaemin’s actions are making me want to throw up,” Yeji confessed, taking her fork and starting to eat her food in silence.

“You’re not the only one, I feel the same way,” Jeno agreed quietly, looking at Jaemin as if he was going to kill him every second now.

A few minutes later the new guy approached your table, holding his own tray of food, setting it down and sitting next to you. Your heart skipped a beat just because of his decision to sit next to you. You didn’t know why him being close to you was making you feel this special, so you tried to brush it off, but you couldn’t; so during the rest of the lunch you were actually in a very good mood, even though you and the new guy still haven’t talked to each other directly at all. When Haechan and Renjun joined you, you talked to them a lot, trying not to think about the stranger next to you, since you were too shy to ask for his name, and he apparently didn’t want to say it to you or ask you about yours.

As you were done with lunch, you stood up from the table and took your tray in your hands, looking at the new guy as he was doing the same. When he took his own tray, though, you noticed he dropped something. You quickly bent down to get it and give it back to its owner. But before handing it to him, you took a quick look at it – it was a discount card for the food in the cafeteria. You saw his picture and you read your name, saying it out loud as you realized something.

“Yang… Yang?” You looked up in disbelief.

He looked at you with a smile and he nodded.

“Yes, YangYang is my name, not a nickname as people usually think. Sorry for not introducing myself to you earlier, I was just distracted since you seemed really familiar for some reason,” he said, as you handed him his discount card.

“Um, I… My name is Y/N,” you introduced yourself quietly, as you waited for his reaction.

There were two possible ways this could go: he would either recognize his own childhood best friend, or he would take your hand, as he hears your name for the first time, if he wasn’t your YangYang, but some other guy with the same name. But to you, now it all made sense. The visual resemblance, his voice, his cheerful personality… But you still wanted to be sure it was actually him, before hugging him excitedly.

“You… Bunny?” He called you by your nickname he came up with when you were younger. He thought you looked energetic and playful, just like a bunny.

You nodded, as you couldn’t stop smiling.

“You don’t know how much I missed you!”

Before you could do anything, he put his tray and card down on the table as he hugged you tightly. You were a little taken aback for a couple of seconds, slowly realizing your wish has come true. You and your best friend were finally together.

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

“Thinkin' of ya when I'm goin' to bed

When I wake up think of ya again

You are my homie, lover and friend

Exactly why”

As you and Yeji went back to the dorms, you didn’t even have any motivation to study, because you were too busy thinking about your amazing day. You still couldn’t believe this was actually him, your childhood best friend who you were meeting so many years after he left for Germany, after you had lost hope of seeing him ever again. You were hugging your plushie, as you were jumping around the room, repeating that tomorrow you were meeting YangYang after classes in a café, where you could talk to each other and get updates on his life, even though everything seemed as if it was still the same; even YangYang haven’t changed in your opinion, except for becoming more handsome now as an adult.

Yeji was smiling at you, as you told her about your long story with your childhood friend. She was sincerely happy to see you so excited and she wished everything would turn out well for you. You kept thinking about him before going to bed and even after you woke up, starting your day with a smile on your face.

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

“You light me up inside

Like the 4th of July

Whenever you’rearound

I always seem to smile”

A few weeks have passed since your reunion with YangYang; now you were used to hanging out together all the time, just like before, realizing that neither of you really changed. You craved each other’s attention and presence just the same way as when you were kids. Today you decided to visit a café with a nice atmosphere, suitable for a cozy afternoon and long conversations. After classes were over, you said goodbye to Yeji, as she wished you to have a good time on your date, but you were quick to correct her this wasn’t a date (even though you secretly wanted it to be) and went out of the classroom together with YangYang.

On the way to the café you couldn’t stop talking to each other. Your topics were never ending and it was always exciting spending time together for both of you. You couldn’t stop smiling as he said funny things to you, or even when he didn’t say something that entertaining; you just loved his company so much, that you enjoyed every second you spent with him. Around twenty minutes later you got to your destination and he opened the door to the café for you, then you found a nice table near the window. You both ordered hot chocolate as you continued with your conversation.

“Do you wanna go watch a movie tomorrow? They’re projecting a Marvel movie,” YangYang asked as he gave you a little additional information.

You smiled, even though you honestly disliked these movies, but you only watched them so that you could spend time with YangYang. You’ve watched every single Marvel movie, since your best friend was obsessed with them for some reason.

“Of course, I’m so excited!”

“Great, I’ll book the movie tickets now,” YangYang said with a wide smile on his face, as he unlocked his phone and typed the website’s name to book the tickets.

“Um, Yangie,” you hesitantly started speaking, not knowing if you should continue your sentence.

“Yeah?” He asked, not looking away from his phone.

“I’m going home this weekend, in my hometown. Do you wanna go with me?” You suggested, even though you felt a little shy to be inviting your childhood friend in your house and have the same sleepovers you used to.

“Really? That would be amazing!” Fortunately, he seemed really happy to hear your idea. “Your parents are also going to be there, right?” After you nodded, he continued speaking. “Can you tell your mom to please prepare my favorite cream cheese muffins for her special guest?” He looked at you with pleading eyes you could never say no to.

“Hey, YangYang! Do you only care about food?” You scolded him, as you playfully hit his arm.

“This is my main priority, yes.” He answered, matching your energy. “But you take the second place, you’re the second most important thing to me other than food.”

He looked at you and for a moment you forgot how to breathe. You were looking at his eyes, getting lost again and again; it felt like you were getting out of the trance he put you on, only to fall deeper the next time you looked at him.

“Are you okay?”

His voice showed concern, but his face had a unreadable look; not worried, but also not calm. It was like he knew exactly how he made you feel.

“Uh, yes, sorry, I just zoned out for a second,” you explained as you avoided his gaze. “I’m gonna call my mom later and ask her to prepare the muffins,” you informed him, as you took a sip from your hot chocolate.

“You know I don’t really care, right? I just want to be with you,” he admitted, as you coughed when you heard that. “Are you alright? First you zoned out, now you can’t drink your hot chocolate… So my theory must be true,” he said with a content tone and you looked at him in surprise.

“What theory?” You asked as you continued coughing until you were okay.

“Never mind. Just be careful next time.”

You nodded as you silently took another sip, trying to avoid his eyes.

Around an hour later it was time for you to leave, so you went back to the dorms. He smiled and waved at you, and after you waved back, you finally entered the room you and Yeji shared. You closed the door as you rested your back on it, breathing loudly. Your heart was beating fast and you wanted to make sure you’ve calmed down before you greet Yeji. Now you were absolutely sure you were in love with your childhood best friend and that fact made you quite nervous. You never felt that way before and you weren’t even sure if he felt the same way about you. But despite your worries, you smiled widely before knowing it. You felt like you couldn’t even control your emotions and it made you very confused. You slowly went to your room, then you left your bag on your chair and you took a step towards your bed and you just laid on it for a minute, staring at the ceiling, trying to stop thinking about YangYang, but it was more difficult than you expected.

“What’s wrong? Didn’t the date with YangYang go well?” She teased you and you turned to look at her, rolling your eyes with annoyance.

“It was nice, except it weren’t a date,” you corrected her, sighing loudly. “But why is my heart being like that?” you whispered, putting your head on your heart as you kept looking at the ceiling with concentration, as if you expected to find all the answers of your questions there.

“Maybe because you wanted it to be a date?”

You decided to ignore her, but then she spoke again.

“Look at me, the ceiling won’t talk to you like I can,” Yeji reminded you as you looked at her discontentedly.

“Yes, but it also won’t make fun of me like you do.”

“Look, I’m sorry. I just find it amazing that you’re finally interested in somebody,” she said, as she smiled excitedly.

“You could have stopped after ‘sorry’, you know?” You shot her another annoyed look and she raised her eyebrows as if to say she didn’t care. “Never mind, I’m going to take a shower.”

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

“And people ask me how

Well you’re the reason why

I'm dancing in the mirror and singing in the shower”

As you felt the hot water running down your body, you felt a wave of calmness washing over you. Your mind kept going back to thoughts of YangYang and your incredible day with him, as well as the excitement of going home together with him. It was something you wished for so many years, just having him back with you, the two of you together in your room, playing Plants vs. Zombies or Mortal Kombat, some of your favorite PC games back at the time, when you both were around 10 years old.

Without realizing it, you started singing a random song you’ve heard in school today that somehow happened to be a romantic one, matching perfectly with your good mood and your feelings for your childhood friend. Around half an hour later, you got out of the shower and wrapped a towel around your body. Then you took the hairdryer and stood in front of the mirror, drying your hair, but you felt so energetic and happy that you started dancing in front of the mirror. You were holding the hairdryer and you were moving your body randomly, keeping a smile on your face, even though that way drying your hair took much longer time than usual.

When you finally turned the hairdryer off, you noticed Yeji standing in the doorway of your room, looking at you with a wide smile. You rolled your eyes at her for the millionth time today, realizing she may have witnessed at least a part of your dancing in front of the mirror. She giggled, but you decided to act as if nothing out of the ordinary happened, as if you were always that cheerful.

“Why are you laughing?” You asked, as you put the hairdryer back in its place.

“Someone has a crush,” Yeji almost sang that sentence. “I’ve never heard you singing in the shower and seen you dancing in front of the mirror before… Is it really possible that YangYang is the reason behind all that? Could he have changed your usual grumpiness into cheerfulness?”

“What do you mean? I’m the same as usual,” you denied all her claims coolly, sounding credible enough, since you weren’t such an inexperienced liar; you couldn’t say the same for your love life though – you really lacked experience in that part, knowing that calling yourself a “dater” would be factually incorrect.

“Yeah, okay. But if things between you really do work out, I want to be the first one you’re going to share the news with! You’re gonna tell it to Jeno, Jaemin, Renjun and Haechan later,” Yeji stated, as you were looking at her with confusion.

“Calm down, there won’t be any news to tell,” you laughed as you quietly went back to your shared room.

But the part of you that you tried hard to suppress, really hoped you were wrong.

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

“All I want, all I need is your lovin'

Baby you make me hot like an oven

Since you came you know what I've discovered

Baby I don't need me another”

The next day was Friday, the day you would come back home together with YangYang, being there with him for the first time in many years. A few days ago you’ve told your mother about reuniting with him and to say she was ecstatic would have been an understatement; she felt as if she was welcoming her second child who has been away for a long time, so she wanted to make sure everything was perfect for him. She even cleaned your room since you weren’t there to do so and its usual state was beyond messy; definitely not the best place to show to such an important and dear guest.

You couldn’t wait to go, but before that, you had classes that seemed endless to you; time seemed to be passing too slowly and for a moment you even thought about suggesting YangYang to skip school today, but your good girl reputation prevented you from doing so.

When the professor said his last words for today, concluding the lecture, you took your backpack. You had put your stuff in it a few minutes ago, while the professor was explaining something about an exam or an “extremely important” group project; you weren’t sure, since you weren’t listening after all. You took out the little mirror you kept in your bag to make sure you looked alright. You tried to comb your hair with your fingers, then you applied a new layer of your favorite pink lipstick; you took so much time with your make up today, even though you usually didn’t wear a lot. When you were ready, you ran to the exit of the auditorium, as YangYang was already waiting in front of it.

“You might need to turn Yeji down,” he said, as you raised your eyebrows questioningly. “The group assignment Mr. Lee mentioned, groups of two are also allowed, so you’re with me.”

So this was what you missed as you were too busy putting your stuff in your backpack in order to be able to leave as early as possible. You smiled at him when you heard his words that made a warm feeling blossom in your body.

“Are we ready to go? All I need is in my backpack, so I don’t need to go back to the dorms, unless you want to.”

“I’m also ready. Let’s go,” he smiled, taking your hand and leading you to the exit of the university.

As you were walking next to him, your hand in his, you felt your heart beating unusually fast; but instead of this making you feel nervous, you felt the same warm feeling spreading through your whole body and this time, you were ready to let go and have fun, without holding back anymore.

“So we have a bus in 15 minutes,” you informed him, as you looked at your phone.

“A bus?” He asked before he stopped walking and you stopped looking at the phone and noticed an expensive black car parked in the university parking. “Why don’t we take a ride in my car?” He leaned on it, tapping the roof softly.

“This car is yours? I can’t believe it, you’ve really grown up, Yangie,” you said with a disbelieving voice in order to tease him, but you still sat next to the driver’s seat in his car, as he has opened the door for you before getting on himself. “Even though I’m a few months older than you, I still don’t have my driver’s license, but I’m working on it,” you said with a discontented tone. You were nervous about driving and when you were stressed, you couldn’t do well so you were trying to get your driver’s license for quite some time now.

“You can do it,” he encouraged you with his usual cheerful tone, holding his fist in the air for a second as a sign of encouragement, as he started the car and left the university parking.

* * *

When you were finally in front of your house, you quickly got off the car as you started jumping around with excitement. He smiled at you as he also got off and when the both of you took your backpacks from the car, you rang the bell of your house. A few seconds later your mom opened the door, welcoming you with warm hugs and her usual good mood, as well as a wide smile.

“Wow, I haven’t been here for such a long time,” YangYang mentioned, as he kept looking around. “Wait, what is this smell? It’s amazing!”

“Oh, it’s the muffins,” she smiled again. “By the way, Yangie, you’ve grown so tall! And my little Y/N is still the same as before, she didn’t really grow up a lot,” your mom teased you,

“Hey, you’re shorter than me, so you aren’t allowed to make fun of me!” You playfully scolded your mom, as you sighed in annoyance.

“But you like girls shorter than you, right, YangYang?” Your mom asked your childhood best friend and you wanted the ground to swallow you up right now since you were so ashamed.

You knew she was only asking this since she shipped you and YangYang romantically ever since you two met. She was truly scared for you not to end up single, while you were living your life, rejecting every guy that tried to flirt with you, especially because they weren’t YangYang. You perfectly understood your own feelings so you knew that you didn’t need and didn’t really want a relationship if it wasn’t with him.

“Actually, yeah, I really like girls like that,” YangYang smiled confidently, looking at you. “They are adorable,” he looked away and only then you could breathe. “And they make me feel tall even though I’m not,” he laughed, as your mother was looking at him with pure adoration in her eyes.

“Ah, you’d be such a perfect son in law! Handsome, good mannered, with a good height and you also know a lot of languages, just like my Y/N! I’m honestly so jealous of your future mother in law,” your mom continued to make you want to disappear and you were on the verge of just taking YangYang’s hand and leading him somewhere far away from that house.

“Believe me, you do not need to worry about that,” YangYang said as he kept smiling at your mom.

Even though you didn’t know what he meant, you really wanted to take him somewhere else, where he wouldn’t be able to talk to your mom.

“Dad is still at work, right? Please ask him to buy iced tea and tell us to come when dinner is ready, see you later,” without waiting for your mom to answer, you took YangYang’s hand and led him upstairs and then into your room.

He was looking around as if he was visiting a foreign place he has never been to before.

“You changed your room color…” He said as he touched the wall. “Baby pink suited you though. Also your curtains are different. I liked the old ones with teddy bears on them, but these are fine too. And the bed… It’s seems suitable for more than one person,” he kept commenting the details about your room, but this time his tone was different, and his look was honestly making you nervous. “Have you invited many guys here, Y/N? In this room, on this bed?”

His question made you choke on air; you were looking at him with shock written all over your face.

“W-why would I…”

You wanted to be honest with him, but then realized that this would probably make you look so boring to him.

“It’s not your business.” You quickly answered, sitting on your chair.

“Ah, my innocent Y/N… I guess I’m the only guy who is not a family member that has been to your room,” he continued teasing you as you glared at him warningly.

“That’s not true! Jaemin, Jeno, Haechan and Renjun have been here too!” You quickly denied his claims.

“Yeah, but I doubt you felt something for any of them.”

You stayed silent for a few seconds before deciding to change the topic.

“Do you wanna play Plants Vs. Zombies?” You suddenly asked.

“Of course! Let’s go!” He answered enthusiastically, seating on the chair next to yours.

It was a whole miracle how you could change the atmosphere and his demeanor just by mentioning a PC game. You started playing and suddenly he was the same old YangYang you knew and loved.

“Plant a sunflower, quickly!” You said, as you were looking at your laptop’s screen.

He did as you said, waiting to get another sun so we could buy another plant.

“Quickly, the zombies are coming!” You were clapping excitedly, looking at your childhood friend play the game you used to play all the time when you were kids.

You were so happy that you got closer to him without realizing.

“You’re making me nervous by staying so close to me,” he confessed, giggling softly.

“A-ah, s-sorry,” you quickly apologized as you moved away from him.

When you decided to take a break from the game, you offered him to watch a movie and he agreed, laying on your bed and you reluctantly laid next to him, trying not to get too close to him. You opened Netflix on your TV and the two of you took some time to choose a movie.

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

“No, no all I know (know)

Only you got me feelin' so (so)

And you know that I have to have ya

And I don't plan to let you go”

You haven’t watched the movie even halfway when he pressed the pause button.

“I can’t do this anymore,” he said, sighing deeply as if he had something that caused him a great amount of stress.

“Do what?” You asked him worriedly.

Was he sick? Was he bored? You thought of so many different things that you could have done which could have irritated him.

“Pretend that everything between us is still the same. Pretend I don’t want to kiss you right now.”

Your eyes widened with shock when you heard his confession, but before you could say anything, he continued talking.

“We’re not kids anymore, Y/N. And I think we did change through all these years. It’s our chemistry that’s still the same. Tell me that you’re feeling it too,” he was talking in a husky voice which made you imagine things you thought you shouldn’t.

YangYang looked at your eyes hesitatingly, then at your lips, or at least that’s what you thought you saw him looking at, even though for you, it didn’t make any sense for him to be looking there, even after hearing him say he wanted to kiss you. You felt as if that whole situation was just a dream and nothing that happened was going to affect reality in any way. But as you were busy overanalyzing things as usual, you felt a strange, yet addicting sensation. As your eyes were still open, you looked at YangYang who was kissing you. You couldn’t believe that was happening, but you quickly closed your eyes, enjoying his lips on yours. Your heart was beating fast as you tried to remember this sweet feeling, savouring the taste of his lips. When he moved away, you slowly opened your eyes, looking at his with confusion, yet with trust. You were sure that whatever was going to happen, you were safe and happy with him.

“I- You… Uh, did you like that?”

You nervously nodded, as you were wondering what to say.

“Great, I did too. Does that mean you like me back?” YangYang wanted to check in with you, before officially asking you the last question he wanted to ask ever since he realized who you were back in the canteen that day.

“You’re so special to me, YangYang. I like you a lot,” you confessed, feeling a little shy, but still trying to keep his eyes on him, because you thought he deserved to know exactly how you felt about him without finding out how nervous you actually were. “By the way, that was my first kiss and I’m so happy it was with you,” you looked at him adoringly.

“Really? That’s so cute!” He exclaimed with a sweet smile. “So you’re sure you haven’t kissed anyone from your friends group?”

“Actually I kissed Jaemin and Jeno on the cheek once at a party because of a dare. And on the same night Haechan and I got so drunk that we almost kissed, but our friends stopped us before we ‘unlock a whole another relationship’, as they said.”

YangYang sighed with annoyance before mustering up the courage to ask you the most important question.

“Do you want to be like… Uh, you know?”

You were looking at him with confusion written all over your face.

“You sound just like Mark, he’s a friend of mine who’s one year older than us,” you teased him, since you really found his nervousness to be cute.

“Come on, you know what I’m trying to say,” he tried to avoid saying it out loud, but you weren’t going to let him do that.

“Do I know, Yangie? How can I know if you haven’t said it yet?”

“You went from a shy girl to a smug girl in just a second,” he mumbled with discontent.

“But you’re the same! You were teasing me earlier and now you sound like Mark Lee!” You complained.

“Who is Mark Lee?” YangYang asked even though he didn’t really insist on knowing; he just wanted to postpone asking his main question for as long as possible.

“That Mark guy I told you about! Are you even listening to me?”

“Should I be jealous of him?” He pouted as he was waiting for your answer.

“Maybe you should,” you continued provoking him in order for him to properly ask you what he wanted to.

“Come on! Aren’t your four handsome guy friends enough people to be jealous of? When I see how you’re looking at Yeji, sometimes I’m jealous of her too! I also can’t stand it when Haechan looks at you as if he has so many improper thoughts. Or when Jeno and Jaemin ask you if you have eaten. Or when Renjun is smiling at you and laughing at your jokes! Ah, I hate it so much that I want to punch-“

You interrupted YangYang with a kiss.

“My answer is yes.”

“You’re going to be my girlfriend?” He asked, hoping you would agree.

“No, I’ve never heard you ask that,” you crossed your arms, smiling at him playfully.

“You’re going to be my girlfriend because I said so~,” he almost sang that sentence, as he decided to make sure you were incapable to refuse by suddenly making you fall on your bed as he trapped your body under his.

“No, I’m not going to do it~,” you answered in the same tone, as you tried to flip him over, so that you could be on top of him.

But when he noticed what you were trying to do, he caught your wrist and kissed your lips deeply, making you forget everything else. In that moment you relaxed under his touch feeling safer than ever. You kissed him back with the same lust as his, as your fingers threaded through his fluffy hair. You continued passionately kissing each other for a few minutes, taking very short breaks to breathe, since you both missed each other’s lips too much to stay separated even for a few seconds that felt like an eternity for you.

But when you heard a knock on your door, YangYang quickly got off you and he sat on the bed innocently, as you followed his example. You quickly fixed his hair which was quite messy because you were running your fingers through it all the time.

“Y-you can come in,” you said with a voice that was a little distorted, while you were trying to normalize your heavy breathing.

When you said that, the door opened and your dad came in.

“Hi, Y/N. Here’s the iced tea,” he said, giving you the bottle of iced tea which you contentedly took from his hands and left on the ground. “YangYang, it’s great to see you again,” he smiled and YangYang smiled back. “Dinner is ready, so you can come downstairs,” your dad said and you nodded synchronously. Then he turned around and walked out the door, closing it.

YangYang got up from your bed as he gave you his hand, which you took. He kept holding your hand as you were walking down the stairs.

“I guess your parents are really going to have the best son-in-law,” YangYang said and as soon as you realized he was talking about himself, you hit his arm as you laughed.

You were finally truly happy again; you felt having YangYang by your side meant that nothing was impossible and all your dreams could come true, just like the seemingly unrealistic dream of having him back while you were longing for him all these years. It turns out your long wait was absolutely worth it and now that he was here with you again, you weren’t going to let him go.

#nct #wayv #nct fluff #wayv fluff #yangyang #yangyang fluff #nct scenarios #wayv scenarios #yangyang imagines #yangyang scenarios #song fic

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ratasum · 2 years ago

Text

She's well aware she must be dreaming. The girl staring back at her is a much younger mirror, those wide pinkish eyes staring back at her with wonder behind wisps of finely curled white hair, twin braids hanging down her back. She's so small, with ears too big for her head.

She'll never grow into those.

"You're me." The girl says it as a statement of fact more than an inquiry. "But you're bigger."

Qirri can't help a wry smile. "Not by much."

The smaller her, with that bright, inquisitive face, gives her a once over, tugging on a few loose strands of hair. "...you're dressed funny. Why?"

After a moment of thought, she kneels, looking at the small girl. Defiant and brilliant, forcing herself to breathe steady, just like the doctor told her. She'd learn as she got older to breathe more naturally- doing this only felt like it made it worse.

"Because I've been in Cantha."

"I'm gonna go to Cantha?!"

"Someday, yes. You'll travel all over Tyria. You'll make a best friend who's a charr, you'll go all over the world, to Elona and Cantha... you'll even have your own krewe. You'll help change the world."

Despite everything, the stress and the anxiety, the light in the girl's eyes was everything. She didn't remember what it felt like to be that excited about anything. It was like a breath of fresh air, watching her ball her little hands into fists and bounce on her toes. "My best friend'll be a charr? I'll get... I get to leave Rata Sum?" A moment passes. And then, in a much smaller voice, she asks something different. Something that hits right through Qirri's heart. "...how old are you?"

She wouldn't live to see twenty. That's what a lot of doctors said. She remembers hearing it, even when they hadn't meant her to. So she reaches out, placing her hand gently on top of her smaller self's head. "I'm 26. It was hard to get here, and you'll get sick. You'll struggle. But... you're going to be so much more than any doctor or professor ever tells you. Don't lose sight of that, okay?"

The girl stares back. Those eyes, Qirri knows, are going to see some terrible things. But they're going to see some wonderful things too. She has trouble remembering that herself, sometimes.

Maybe she should remember it more often.

But the girl just beams, that same bright, optimistic smile she wore so often when she first met Garrus. "I can't wait to see Cantha!"

Qirri chuckls softly, ruffling the girl's hair, "You're gonna love it."

Prompt Idea!

Draw or write your Character meeting their past self / child self!

What would they say to them? How would their past self react to their future self?

Get creative!

#qirri tinkerfirst #my back is still effed up so a lil writing it is #bunny writing

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dnarez · 4 years ago

Text

Chapter 7 - Autumn Coat

It's been a few months since you started to work as a caretaker, nothing grand happened, but the times you left for your break once every 14 days, you always come back to a crying Keigo, and a missing mother.

The last time he wrecked the house, there was glass on the floor, footprints on the ceiling, walls painted with... wine? jelly? blood? You don't know, but it was hell to clean, which of course you made lil birb help too.

By questioning him after cleaning everything and then cleaning him, you discovered that his "mother" gave him coffee, and A LOT of it, and went her merry way to meet with someone.

---

To say that you were pissed was a mistake, you were furious, but the commission didn't let you reprehend her, so you had to teach him to not eat and drink something that his mother gave to him, without knowing what it was, and that if he drank coffee he would stop growing, which made him cry, but you promised a day outside with him, where they would eat out, maybe go to a mall, and he could have anything that he wanted.

It was his first time going out to have fun, instead of just going to the gym, or the doctor appointment, so with the 'okay card' from your boss you took him for a stroll, which is why there is a very excited Keigo jumping on your bed at 6am.

"COME. OOOOON!!! WE STILL HAVE A BEAUTIFUL DAY AHEAD OF US!" he shouted while jumping up and down on your bed, his wings flapping behind him.

"Hun, what time it is?" you yawned and sat on the bed.

"It's 6AM! On a Monday!!!"

"I wish you would be this easy to wake up every day, it would make my mornings easier" you huff and got up. "Go wash your face, I will get changed and come to help you change yourself."

"I don't need help! I'm a big boy! I can change myself!" he pouted and crossed his arms.

You smiled at him, seeing how much he opened up to you in comparison to the first day, when he would tremble form how scared he was, and how he talked so little. "I know you can, but you need to put warmer clothes than normal, and it would be better if you didn't pick that awful t-shirt again"

"The one that his written 'Daddy's little boy' with the Endevour's face?" he tilted his head a little.

"Exactly, that one! Now go, we will eat breakfast outside today."

"Woo-hoo!" he raised both hands and was about to jump down to the floor when you held him back and fills his face with kisses "Let me go mommy!" he giggles a lot, and you keep doing it until you decide to release him.

"THE FLOOR IS LAVA!!" You shout and jumps up "If you aren't on your bedroom in 15 seconds the world is going to END!" You say dramatically and open's the door to the laundry room "1... 2... 3... aaaaaand... he's gone" as soon as you opened the door and started the countdown he flew off your small home to his room.

After fixing your bed and washing your face, you went to get changed and choose something comfy, some black jeans, a long sleeved red shirt, a black purse and your favorite beige coat that had white fur on it.

You went to his room to get him ready when you were surprised by the scene, him, Keigo, your baby birb, the cute little shit that was getting more confident with each training, that had the most beautiful smile you had ever seen.

On the floor, curled up in a ball, with a few drops of blood on the ground of the floor, and his mother with her hand in the air, like she was about to hit him...

The world was turning slowly, almost stopping, after three movements of your finger, the one that the nail was always painted black, the dame that had cut the wall.

As the world was moving slowly, you were moving like normal.

5... you calmly walked to Keigo

4... you took him on your arms

3... you put him on the bed

2... you took the pillow case from the pillow

1... you tied both of the hands of Keigo's mother.

The world was back to normal, and Keigo blinked looking at what was now his mother on the ground and you on top of her mobilizing her, while he was no longer on the floor, but on his new fluffy bed that you picked for him "so quick..." he mumbles and look at you with admiration.

You took your phone from your purse, and sat on top of her back "Hello? You saw from the cameras, didn't you? Yeah... I think she needs a few days of vacation... about a week? Okay I let her on the couch then? Thank you, good bye" you turn off the cellphone and look at Keigo who was mouth agape looking at you with shiny eyes. "Let's go?" You smile and pick him up.

"YOU WERE SO AWESOME!!! And didn't you told me to change my clothes?" He hugged your neck

"We can just buy it on the mall but... outside is really cold..." you put him back on the bed and took off your coat "here, I'll lend you my favorite coat, please take good care of it"

He sniffs the coat and is meet by the soft smell of lavender and sweetened coffee.

He looks at you with shiny eyes, "okay!"

You pick him up again and hold his mother's ankle while you drag her to the living room. "Tomorrow is your trainer's day off, so today you can sleep later"

"Woo-hoo!!"

You chuckle and let the woman on the couch, then you go out with him.

"Let's have breakfast and then go out and about"

You carried him to the car, and there you put him on the backseat and when you were going to buckle him up he stopped you.

"Let me do it! I'm a big boy" you nod and watch as he struggles, but after some time does it.

"Good job" you kiss his forehead and goes to the front seat.

As you drive around you put some kids pop, which he sang along to the Disney songs from the movies you showed him.

As you stop at a café that you liked, "Let's go?" He unbuckles himself, and you open the door to him, picking him up again

"I can walk!"

"Not with that bare feet of yours" you tickle his feet which makes him squirm and giggle.

Walking in you take a sit and sat Keigo beside you. "You can get anything, ask away" you took the menu and give it to him "since you learn how to read better I'm sure you can pick what you want"

"Okay!..." he spends 20 minutes choosing his food, which ended up being a chicken breast sandwich and a soda, you immediately told him no soda in the morning.

"How about some juice?" You offer

"What are you going to drink?" Keigo tilts his head to the side.

"I want to go out and by sweetened coffee from the vending machine, it's my favorite, and no you can't have some"

He giggles and nods "I want strawberry juice!"

"I'm gonna go order it to the cashier, two chicken sandwiches and a strawberry juice"

"Can I pick a dessert?"

"After you eat everything, sure, here play a game on my phone while you wait, I'll be right back" you give him your phone unlocked and go to the cashier.

Keigo is playing on your cellphone when someone approaches him, his little trained feathers don't recognize this person's vibrations, so he looks up and sees a dude with a scary look and long black hair.

They both just stare at each other "sup" Keigo say and discreetly send a feather to you and taps your feet.

You come back to the table and is surprised to see your oldest friend, you give him a big smile "Shouta-niisan!" You hug him, but he only pats your head.

Keigo looks surprised at the interaction, you don't talk about yourself, only the basic and vaguely gives information about what you did before him.

"Is this your kid?" The man looked at Keigo, the man looked like it was around 23 maybe 25.

"Yeah! I'm his-... mom, yeah! I'm his mother" you smile breaking the hug and sat down "too busy to stay?"

He nods and put a can of your favorite sweetened coffee in front of you "You're doing a good job, just be careful, you never know"

You nod back at him and give him a big smile "I will, at least I'm no longer doing patrols, don't forget to call me once a week"

"I never broke a promise, won't start now" he pets your hair and goes away.

Keigo watched the weird transactions extremely curious "Who was him? Is him your older brother? You don't look alike. Why didn't you say goodbye to him? Why does he look like a bun? Why-"

"Enough!" You put your hand on his mouth "He's an old friend, I call him nii-san because I always called him that, no we aren't blood related, he always looked like that, and... we promise to never say goodbye to each other"

"Why?"

"Because a goodbye can be forever, so we just don't say it" a waitress comes to you both and puts everything on the table.

You open the canned coffee and drink it, smiling at him as he eats, you both eat and then went shopping.

...

Keigo could fit in anything, and he would look cute you just loved the way he looked on yellow or beige, they fit well with his red wings.

"Hey mom... I wanted to know if-..." he was scared, uncomfortable maybe? About something.

"You can ask me anything Birb, there is no way that I will not answer" you kneeled on the floor besides him and looked at him through the mirror.

"What's your quirk?" He looked at you while fiddling with his hands.

You smiled at him "It's kinda hard to explain, It's better if I show it to you" you took his hand and paid for the clothing, now that he was with some clothes that were good for the Autumn cold weather.

After getting to the car you drove off to the training gym.

"Why are we here?" Keigo recognized the building quickly.

"My power can be a little destructive, its1better to do this in a place that no one can get hurt" going in you went to your private training room with the little boy following you like a baby duck.

"How destructive?" Keigo held your hand and you held his.

"Very, now stay back" you pressed a bottom on the wall "My quirk needs ink all the time to do anything, and I always have it around me, most likely on my point finger, here I can do almost anything" you made a straight line in the direction of the dummies and cut 3 at the same time, cutting through them.

"Woaaah! What else?" Keigo's wings fluffed up at your awesomeness.

You walk to the middle and make a dot next to him, a huge tree appears from nothing surprising him, he falls to the floor shocked.

"I can also make a path of flowers, and the tree will only stay there for a few seconds, but it can surprise the enemy enough to take them down" you move your finger around under Keigo's feet and there grows some flowers.

"My ability is called Celestial Brush"

"THIS IS SO COOL!" He runs to you, and you pick him up when he's close enough. "MOM YOU ARE AWESOME!"

You look at him surprised and hug him tightly "My son, you are awesome too"

You two stay like that for some time, until he bugs you to show more of your ability, which you do, you show him each trick and technique you learned until now.

https://youtu.be/BRcfqu3hQkY (your quirk)

(Yes this is your quirk, and everything you can do with it)

After showing him everything you picked him up and you both go back home to take a shower, eat and sleep.

Those moments in his life were the happiest that Keigo had ever been, always protected by you, he was given the love and affection that he always wanted, he didn't care for everything else, he just cared about you, because you were his true mother, the woman that he would run to when he got himself hurt, to ask about life, to ask about anything really, since you also were his teacher. When he had nightmares you would hold him until he calmed down, would kiss his head, would compliment the small things he had done, and would scout him when he did something wrong.

Keigo loved you more than anything in his life, and Hawks miss you dearly in his, because in the end, you still worked for the commission, and he too didn't have a choice when you went away for an important mission.

The day before your departure you both made a pillow nest in the living room, you induced him on his bird instincts, HD wouldn't have such luxury after you went away.

Neither of you talked about you leaving, instead you showed him your favorite movies, snacks and old latin folktales, the feeling of sadness was there the whole moment.

You tried to give as much advice you could, and only took him off your arms to use the bathroom.

Keigo also didn't wanted to let go of you, both sleep hugging each other, you promised that you would come back as soon as you could, that tou would ever forgive him if he died while being a hero, that you knew he was build for greatness.

Only when you had to leave that you allowed yourself to cry, at the door with only a backpack in hands, you put your coat on Keigo while he sleep, also letting your diary on his bed, to let him have you all the time.

After tucking him on his nest, you kissed his forehead and kisses his toy's head, going out of that house took a lot of strength, you didn't wanted to go, but duty called, you just hopped it would take less then a year.

. . . . .

But it didn't took a year, it took 18 years to take the ring leader down, and just now you were finally going back to Japan, and to the now number 2 pro hero Hawks.

.............. As you can see there is more to this book

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hot-wiings · 4 years ago

Text

The One Where [Y/N] [L/N] Can't Show Up To Her Toxic Family Dinner Alone, So She Turns To Her College Peer For Help.

Edited: 12-4-2020

Once your college professor dismissed the class as over you were quick to open your phone and check your messages. Once unmuted, it vibrated and chimed a dozen times bombarding you. Messages from your mother overflowed your notification bar. You just didn't have the energy to deal with it right now. With a scowl, you set your phone back to mute mode and harshly shoved it into your backpack.

"Everything all right?"

Your chemistry partner was pilling books back into his backpack when he asked you the imposing question. He zipped the bag close, stood up, and turned to you, giving you a concerned look as he slung his backpack on his shoulder.

"I'm fine."

"We've been partners for nearly a year, I think I know you enough to know when you're not fine."

Your eyes glanced up at the white-haired man before glancing back at your lap. Your chemistry partner, Natsuo Todoroki, was a nice young man. Natsuo was funny and kind, he noticed when you were having a bad day, and he'd try to ease your troubles. Maybe that was why you often found yourself studying your partner more than your notes. Normally you'd relish under the gaze and attention of your charming, pretty partner, but today wasn't just one of those days.

"It's stupid. Like, really stupid, and unimportant."

"If it's bothering you then it's not stupid. C'mon, I'll buy you lunch and you can tell me all about your problem."

You huffed as you stood up and pulled your bag over your shoulder. You followed Natsuo to the cafeteria, while he walked off to get and pay for your lunches, you found some empty seats. Your leg bounced as you waited for him to come back. The idea of opening up about something so personal made you anxious.

"It's Soba Saturday."

"Thanks."

Natsuo took a seat across from you and smiled as you took a bite out of the food. Happy that you were happy with your food, Natsou digs into his own.

"So partner' what's up?"

"As I said, it's really, really, stupid."

"You're obviously worked up over it, it can't be that stupid."

You let out a ragged sigh as you took a delicate bite out of your food. Embarrassed, your eyes avoided him once you swallowed and set the fork down. Natsuo had shared so much with you as a friend and confidant, you knew about his family, every nitty-gritty detail, but you opened so little in return.

"My mom texted me asking if I was bringing a date home for Christmas. My parents... They're pretentious and rich, you know? Marrying, and settling down, becoming a house mouse while my husband takes over the family business. That's the future they want for me."

You clenched your fists just getting aggravated thinking about it. The toxicity was hard and you were trying your best to escape it, but you could only flee so much when you were poor without your parents. Natsuo reached across the table and grabbed your hands, pulling them into his cold ones.

"I know if I show up alone my mom's gonna get in my business, then she'll try setting me up with rich men she thinks are suitable. I just- I can't do another family Christmas alone."

"I understand what you mean. I told you how my dad's a bastard, he's tried setting me and my sister up with suitable people before, never works out, just makes us hate him. I don't even wanna go home for Christmas this year, so... I have a proposition."

"I'd love to hear it."

"I'll go with you."

His voice came out quick and fast, almost making him sound nervous, but Natsuo didn't get nervous, it wasn't a Todoroki trait. You look up from your lap to his eyes. A small smile formed on your face as he proposed the statement. You let out a chuckle as a light blush brushed your face.

"You wanna be my date?"

"We don't have to go like that, we can fake date. Think about it, you need a rich, suitable guy to show up with you. You need me. Someone to convince your pretentious parents you're ready to settle down, and, I, can get out of my own family Christmas and obligations to see the bastard man."

"Fake dating... Fake dating and convincing my parents that we're in love. That's a lot to deal with, you're sure your up for it?"

"Yeah, you might say... We already have some chemistry together."

You laughed as that feeling bubbled up in your chest. That feeling you got whenever you were around your partner, your lab partner. It was stupid, so stupid. The idea of fake dating him bubbled you, even if it was fake, the idea that he got to be your boyfriend for an evening or two excited you.

"Okay, you dork, it's settled. You're my fake boyfriend."

Your leg bounced rigorously as the car drove on the road. You watched the road signs, anxiously noting how far away from your home you were each time a new one appeared. You lived a couple of hours out from the city you and Natsuo attended college in. Coming from a rich family, you and Natsuo probably would've attended the same social circles and school had you not grew up so far away.

Your thumb tapped away at your leg as Christmas music blared through the radio. Your whole body screamed anxious and distressed. Now that you've had time to brew and process the deal you and Natsuo made you regretted it. What were you thinking, taking your lab partner, who was also your crush, on an overnight trip as your fake boyfriend? It was just going to cause you trouble.

You had feelings for him and your family was toxic. The idea of letting him in was disturbing. It was your home where you grew up, the place you learned to hate yourself, the place that taught you to be closed off, and mean. He'll meet your mom, your dad, and your godawful siblings. He'll see how horrible your family is, and the idea of letting him see the environment you grew up in was so daunting.

What if he decided you were awful too? What if he changes lab partners?

"We're here."

"Great."

Your voice came out placid and tight. Your nervousness and exhaustion could be heard in your voice. Emotions brought out every time you saw your family, he mistook it as nerves brought on by the fear of fake dating.

"We should probably lie down some rules."

"Yeah, I've never fake dated before. I don’t know what you're uncomfortable with, but no kissing on the lips."

Natsuo pulled his keys out of the engine ignition and pocketed them while he lightly laughed at your proposed rule. Heat rose to your cheeks as his voice met your ears.

"We're supposed to convince them we're in love, but I can't kiss your lips?"

"I know it's silly, but to me it's romantic and I’d like to keep this professional. Besides, you still have my cheek, hand, nose, and forehead."

“I see your points, if it makes you feel more comfortable then lips are off-limits.”

You let out a relieved sigh. You weren't sure you'd handle kissing Natsuo. It was too personal, too romantic. The more you progressed on this endeavor the more you worried. Your parents were gonna know, they were gonna know.

"No kissing your lips, what about hand-holding?"

"We can hold hands, hug, anything a couple would do, just no sex or kissing."

"Two days, as a handholding loving boyfriend. Let's do this."

Natsuo got out of the car and while you zipped up your coat and fixed your scarf he rushed to the other side of the car and opened your door before you got the chance. His cold hand was on your hand pulling you out of the car, he smiled softly at you as he helped you out.

“Thanks, you didn't have to do that.”

“I wanted to, I'm your boyfriend after all.”

You pushed a piece of hair behind your ear as a light blush spread across your skin. Never had you been more thankful for the cold air for you had been able to play your pink cheeks off as an effect of the cold weather and not his words.

“You go in, I’ll get our bag.”

“You sure?”

You nibbled on your lip as Natsuo walked away from you. He turned to you with an ever-growing smile present as he winked.

“Yeah, I'm a good boyfriend aren't I?”

“The sweetest ever. See you inside.”

You made your way to the door and gave the heavy wooden door a hard knock. It wasn't long until one of the servants opened the door. The head butler, Godwin, opened the door and threw you a gracious smile before pulling you into a hug.

“Welcome back, [Y/N].”

In your time living here as a child, Godwin spent a lot of time with you. It was his job to watch over you and your siblings along with the other staff members when your parents were gone, which was often. He was the one who taught you to be kinder and nicer, more humble than your other siblings. He was the one who encouraged you to go to college despite your parents raising you to live in a world with their racist, sexist ideals.

“It’s good to see you, Godwin.”

Your mother came down the stairs with her overly expensive Christmas dress flowing with her. She looked like the average rich person trying to show off her money. Pearls, diamonds, and obvious plastic surgery. Your father followed behind her, adorning an expensive tailored suit and a matching tie, no doubt your mother's idea to make it seem like they had a perfect marriage to their guests when it, in fact, was not.

“Oh, [F/N], you're here!”

She walked up to you and awkwardly wrapped her arms around your body. It was weird and awkward. Your mother didn't like giving affection out to her children, or really anyone. Now that you were older, you didn't crave the attention from her. Your father didn't even attempt to greet you.

“I thought you said you were bringing a guest, Oh I knew you were lying. Lucky for you I thought ahead and arranged for one of your father's friends to come over as your date for the evening.”

“Mother, anyone friends with father is going to be way too old to be a date for me, besides that fact, I did bring a date.”

“Oh, don’t be embarrassed to ask your mother for help, I did give birth to you after all.”

She sneered her words at you. This was a classical move of your mothers because she gave birth to you then that must mean she knows you better than anyone else, she also used it in the stance that you owed it to her to do what she wanted.

“You’ll love him. He's the owner of a multimillion-dollar company, he's rich, and his wife just died! You’ve been single for so long, you need a man to take care of you”-

Your mother is cut off by the sound of Natsuo walking in with your bag and slamming the door shut, trying to keep the cold out. Considering it was an overnight trip, you thought sharing a bag might make you look more intimate and close.

“Sorry I took so long babe, I didn't zip the bag all the way closed and it opened on the ride here, I had to put everything back in it.”

“Mother, father, this is my boyfriend.”

Natsuo dropped your bag on the floor and shook your parent's hands starting with your father, and then your mother next, respectfully the way you shook hands with the rich. You supposed growing up as a Todoroki he had to learn these tricks and rules the same way you did.

“Natsuo Todoroki, nice to meet you, sir, ma’am.”

“Oh wow, Todoroki? Like the hero family Todoroki?”

“Yes, ma’am... Endeavor is my father.”

You could tell by Natsuo's stance that he was uncomfortable with the way your mother was asking about his social status and checking him out with a tight fake smile on her face.

“Yes, I remember now, I saw your family on the news. How did you snag this one [Y/N]? A Todoroki, I'm impressed, then again... He is the brother who chose not to follow the life of a hero.”

You both ignored your mother's catty comment as Natsuo grabbed your hand and pulled you against his side. He kissed your cheek, eliciting a light blush for the second time that day, however, your mother's focus was on your 'boyfriend', and his focus was on your mother.

“Feels more like I'm the one who snagged her.”

“Well, you must tell us how you met. Goodwin! Take their bag up to [Y/N]'s room!”

You rolled your eyes as she yells at the butler. You'd think after years of working for her she would've remembered his name, but she didn't.

“Godwin, we can take our bag up, we need to change into our dress clothes anyway. Mother, you really should remember the names of your staff.”

“They're just the help, details like their names don't matter. Ever since you went off to that school it's put silly ideas in your head. Natsuo don't be afraid to remind her who's boss, she might try to force those ridiculous relationship norms on you.”

The comment comes from your father who had been mostly silent throughout the whole conversation. The comment comes from your father and it didn't sit well with Natsuo. As your father laughs at what he said, Natsuo picks your bag up and chuckles at him.

“Oh, [Y/N] and I both know who the boss of this relationship is. [Y/N] attends more classes than me, so I always make sure the apartment is clean, and food is ready on the table for her. It's only fair, I wouldn't want her to think these ridiculous relationship norms where the woman cooks and cleans and the man provides is right.”

Before your father gets another word in edgewise, Natsuo pulls you along with him to the staircase, letting you guide him to your bedroom with appeased smiles on your faces. You pushed the door open and let Natsuo in before closing it and locking it. You flopped over on the bed, and he followed suit before taking a look at your room. It was the same as always, the way you left it after high school, never changing except for when little things got moved around for dusting and vacuuming by Godwin.

“So... What'd you think of my parents?”

“They’re... interesting?”

There were a wide variety of choice words Natsuo wanted to use. He did not like your parents, and it bothered him knowing that you grew up being raised with such ideals. Natsuo might have had a bastard for a father, his father might have hurt his mom, and his family in more ways than one, but his father never once told Fuyumi that she couldn't pursue her dreams. He never once told Fuyumi that she had to follow old gender norms, never once was Fuyumi taught to layover for a man.

"It's okay, you can say it. They're good awful."

"I didn't want to upset you or offend, but my father literally drove my mom insane, he gave her a mental illness and he's nice compared to them."

"Just wait until you meet my siblings."

You let out a laugh as your fingers played with the blanket on the bed. Your hands were so close. It was sweet to him, the sound of your voice. He'd never admit out loud, but he was so in love with you. Ever since he first laid eyes on you in chemistry class. Ever since you sat down next to him and introduced yourself, ever since you accidentally blew up your first experiment. Ever since you kept apologising for catching him on fire, you hadn't a clue who he was, or who his father was. You were normal with him. Every little thing you did lead up to his feelings for you. Every little thing you did added to the strong feelings had had, like a brick house.

To the naked eye, Natsuo was a desirable man. He was rich, filthy rich, and he had that Todoroki charm. Everyone wanted him for his status or his looks. They didn't know him, the real him, him with an abusive father and fucked up family. For all those reasons, Natsuo always thought that you wouldn't want to be with a boy like him. Someone who came from such a broken background, someone so weak, unable to stand up to his father. Guys like him never got the girl, at least not the girl that he wanted but Natsuo also never imagined that you came from a background similar to his. It was so ethereal and special to be here with you, to be the one you were opening up to, even if it was a fake relationship, Natsuo was trying desperately to shoot his shot.

"You're so strong, you know that? Your parents raised you with these unrealistic standards on how you should act, but you're in college, you're pursuing your dreams. You're amazing."

Natsuo's hand reached out and grabbed yours, his cold one in yours soliciting goosebumps and a little shiver. You quickly tried to pull your and out of his and stood up to make it look like you weren't trying to avoid skin contact with him.

"Thanks, Natsuo... You're amazing too, I mean hello, they way you subtly told my father to shove his marriage ideals? It was hilarious, he was not expecting that."

You looked away from Natsou to hide the blush in your cheeks, you were thankful for the way he stood up to your father for you. You could never have done that in a million years.

"Anyway, we should probably get dressed, and go down before my mother thinks we've started having sex. You can get dressed in here and I'll go to the bathroom, just knock when it's safe for me to come out."

You grabbed your dress out of the bag and scurried into the bathroom. You started with makeup, then you reapplied your deodorant. You were so nervous that your family would see right through your lie. After taking a few deep breaths you heard Natsuo's knock so you quickly unzipped your silk, baby blue dress and pulled it up to your body. Nervously, you popped your head out the door and bit your lip.

"Can you... Can you zip me up?"

"Sure!"

You let the door open more and pulled the front of your dress tight against your body, worried and nervous to be partially naked in front of him. Natsuo sauntered into the bathroom and zipped the back of your dress up. His cold hands glide up your back and then fell down on your hips. It made you shiver again before throwing him a grateful smile.

"Thanks."

"No problem, you look beautiful."

You looked in the mirror at the two of you together. This time as the blush rose to your cheeks you didn't have the cold to blame or the ability to turn around and hide your face.

"Ready to meet the rest of the snake nest?"

"I survived your parents, I think I can handle your siblings."

Arm in arm looped together you made your way downstairs and into the entertainment room with Natsuo. Your siblings were sitting on the couch, but once you walked in their eyes struck you. They heard you brought a date and they wanted to check him out. Their eyes glazed over him some of them in interest, some in disinterest. All judging.

"I heard you brought a boy, didn't believe it."

The comment comes from your older sister. Her voice was full of disdain and disinterest, undoubtedly ready to leave.

"Yeah, mother said you brought a boy, didn't think he'd be so hot."

Natsou coughs uncomfortably as you showed a tight, fake smile to your sister. You couldn't lie, it hurt that your younger sister would so blatantly flirt with your boyfriend upon meeting him, whether he be fake or not.

"Don't be such a slut, [Sisters Name]. That's your sister's boyfriend."

Your older brother scolded his youngest sister for her lustful behavior and she rolls her eyes before she crosses her arms in a pout. Your brother was the nicest out of all your siblings. He was nice to you and your siblings in his own way, protective of his younger siblings, constantly scolding and trying to keep you all in place. That didn't mean he couldn't be a snake, he could just tolerate you and your siblings more.

"Besides, he's not all that hot."

"Oh he totally is, it's seriously a wonder how [Y/N] got him."

You brought Natsuo over to the couch and sat down next to him. You even made sure to sit close to him, close enough so you could lean into each other like a cute couple.

"I think I prefer your parents."

His words whispered in your ear earning a light chuckle from you. Your sister, the younger one, evidently didn't like how close you both were. With a harsh glare, she rolled her eyes again.

"How did you even meet? Seriously, I wanna know why he would downgrade to someone like you."

Natsuo scratched the back of his head awkwardly and nervously He didn't understand why your siblings were so mean to you. His father was a bastard, that closed you off, that he could get. Despite that, he and his siblings never put each other down like they were doing.

"More like she downgraded to me. We met in school, lab partners. She had all the boys chasing for her in school, but somehow she chose me."

Your sister scoffed and this time you rolled your eyes. She always gave you such shit over the littlest things. You didn't have the energy for this, at least not sober. You whispered into Natsuo's ear softly.

"I need a drink, you want one? We'll need it to get through the evening."

"If your alcohol mixing skills are anything like your chemistry mixing skills, then no."

"Meanie, I'm a great chemist, I practically carry our grade."

Natsuo chuckled against your cheek, before pulling back and kissing it. Again, a blush adorned your cheek with no way to hide it. It was brief and quick, but his cold lips ghosted against your cheek. All you could do was abruptly stand up with a smile on your face.

"I'm gonna go find an alcoholic beverage. I'll be right back, play nice with him."

Natsuo watched helplessly as you walked off into the distance. He sat there quietly, patiently waiting for you to come back. Natsuo was such a cool, calm collected guy, but alone with your siblings, he felt nervous. Seeing the way they acted with you gave him a bad impression of them, but he has to play nice because he was your boyfriend.

"You know, an alcoholic drink does sound great."

Your older sister stood up from the couch and walked off in the same direction as you did, the kitchen presumably, to make herself a drink as well. Soon, your brother left the room as well, your little sister bit her lip as she watched your brother walk off in the direction of the bathroom. She was quick to stand and in the place you once held occupied.

"My sister said play nice, but I'd rather play rough."

She slid her hand over his thigh and inched it closer to his crotch while she smiled up at him, nibbling on her lip.

"What are you doing? I'm here with your sister, I'm her boyfriend."

"Ugh, what do you even see in her? She's not even pretty."

Before Natsou could reply, before he could defend you, your sister climbed across his lip and planted her lips against his. He wasn't kissing her back, but with her on top of him, her pressing her face against his, and her fingers deeply gripping his clothes it was difficult to get her off of him. He wasn't kissing back, he was trying to push her off but as you walked up with two margaritas in hand all you saw was your fake boyfriend kissing your sister.

It hurt. It shouldn't have, but it hurt. He wasn't yours, not really. He was just your lap partner, your friend. He wasn't your boyfriend, you were just fake dating. He wasn't yours. He wasn't yours, but it hurt to see your sister all over him. He wasn't yours, but for the night he was supposed to be. He wasn't yours but for the sake of your lie you did what any girl would do after finding her boyfriend cheating on her: You dumped your margarita down the skank.

"[Brothers Name] is right, you are a slut! And you- you-"

As your sister pulled herself off of Natsuo she looked up at you shocked with alcohol dripping down her body, you ignored her and turned your attention to Natsou. Your eyes were blurry but you had to will yourself not to cry.

"I don't need you here. You can just leave."

You didn't wait for Natsou to get up and leaves nor did you want for him to talk and explain anything to you. You simply took off in the direction of your bedroom, slamming the door behind you. Natsuo quickly jumped up on his feet and took off in the direction of your bedroom. He didn't knock, he didn't wait for permission, he just busted in and ran over to you.

"If you want to make out with my sister, that's fine. I get it, she's pretty, she's hot, she's better than me. She's everything you'd want, but you were supposed to be here with me! You were supposed to be here as my boyfriend! My parents were supposed to think we're in love. You were supposed to be mine, I don't care if it's fake, you cheated with my sister!"

The tears were leaking down your cheeks as you yelled at him. No words could pass Natsuo's lips, no matter how hard he tried. They couldn't. Seeing your tears, a product of him hurt. It hurt. He hurt you. He was trying his best to shoot his shot, he was trying to subtly woo you.

"Your sister came on to me, I tried pushing her away. She's really is a snake, you said it yourself!"

You still sniffled as you nodded at him. He was right, you had said that. He was right, she is a snake and this is exactly what she would do just to screw with your life.

"I'm sorry, your right. I shouldn't have acted like that, you're not actually mine. Natsuo, I do need you, I need you here."

"What if I wanted you to really be mine?"

You sniffling stopped as Natsuo took closer steps to you. He placed his hands on your cheeks and pulled your lips against his. This was different from earlier. The kiss wasn't quick, it was long. It was long and passionate, yet cold. Despite your shivers, you found yourself leaning into him, into the kiss.

"You- You can't do that, it's against the rules."

"Screw the rules. I just- I wish you needed me every night of the year, not just Christmas."

Natsuo ran his hands through his hair nervously. He thought speaking against your father and defending you against your sister was enough to get his point across. This idea of verbally speaking it, it scared him. This was uncharted territory for him.

"I want you [Y/N]. I want you every day of the year. I want to kiss you on the lips, I want to hold hands, I want dates and hugs. I want more than chemistry class and Christmas gatherings."

"Then you can have me! Have me every day of the year. Be mine, every day of the year. Take me on a date, hold my hand, kiss my lips!"

Natsuo pulled you against him and your face collided with his chest. You buried your face in his chest as your arms wrapped around his body and a smile formed.

"Let's not fake date, be my actual girlfriend."

You leaned up and left a quick chaste kiss on Natsuo's lips with a smile.

"I don't want anyone else to be my actual boyfriend, I suppose you might say we chemistry."

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carllisle · 4 years ago

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Ma'am I'm so soft for your vampire Esme and human Carlisle au 🥺💖🥺💖 Can't stop thinking about it today. Thank you thank you thank you Ellie for warming my cold dead heart😭

hello my darling! your heart?? cold and dead? IMPOSSIBLE you are the sweetest person!!!! i almost forgot about this! lemme think of some more headcanons for human!carlisle and vamp Esme

Carlisle was introduced to the family slowly to hopefully avoid nerves as much as possible. Of course, he knew Rosalie already from working with her and although he was frightened of her since he learned of their secret - Rosalie openly disliked him once the cat was out of the bag - and she wasn’t home when she brought Carlisle to the house to meet Emmett and Jasper

Jasper was a little stiff at first, feeling how much Esme wanted to feed on Carlisle and how much control she was having to use, but Esme had prepared Carlisle that that might be the case. Still, it spooked Carlisle a bit to see Jasper's eyes so intently on him. Emmett eased the tension with a joke, asking if Carlisle kept up with football and telling him he can’t marry his mother if he thinks soccer is football. Esme choked at that because no one had mentioned marriage but Carlisle just laughs and tells him that he can bear all the stopping and starting, he’s a man who just likes to get stuck in. Carlisle definitely introduces Emmett to rugby at one point, something Esme tells him off for because “as if he needed another excuse to tackle everyone!”

Edward meets Carlisle a few weeks later and instantly hit it off. There is definitely a soul connection between the two and they both make mental notes of future topics to discuss together. It delights Esme and she wonders if, finally, Edward might have a father figure (Edward hears this thought and points out in private that he’s decades older than Carlisle, but it’s light-hearted)

Alice meets him last, which she resents, but she is so excited and so impossibly un-human that Esme feels it’s appropriate to give Carlisle as much warning as possible. Alice has already seen many happy visions of Carlisle with the family and with her, and she definitely has hopes of seeing him as a father-figure one day. She can’t help but talk his ear off, everything from how her visions work to how admirable starting a new life in a new country is. She tells him that she can’t remember anything of her human life and that one of her earliest memories was of Esme, actually! He listens in awe and asks questions now and again and despite it being very overwhelming he finds her fascinating and sweet. Esme had mentioned before that Alice was creatively talented and had studied fashion at famous institutes and Carlisle asked Alice if she might help him buy some new clothes, that he hasn’t had a wardrobe update since Bush Jnr was president, if that was something she would enjoy because of course he wouldn’t want to take up her time with something that she wouldn’t like and-

Alice interrupts him and tells him that she would be delighted to help him out, and that he should definitely try a light blue shirt and tie combo, that it would look fabulous under his white lab coat and with his light hair!

all of them except Rosalie took to him right away, and it took a lot of gentle conversations and persuading, along with one huge argument, for her to finally accept him

there’s around two years between Esme and Carlisle meeting and Carlisle being turned. She wanted to give him time to reconsider and back out, as well as setting his affairs in order in a way that wouldn’t be suspicious

with both of his parents already dead, having no siblings, and living abroad for over a decade, there weren’t any family members who would be directly impacted by Carlisle’s supposed ‘death’ and he had already stipulated in his will that his estate would be shared between his cousins and their growing families

Carlisle really wanted Esme to be the one to turn him and they even got as far as trying it. Rosalie was close by to provide moral support but she was in the next room. Carlisle said that the last thing he wanted to feel as a human was her kiss, and she pressed her lips to his, relishing the warmth that she would feel for the last time. But as she moved her mouth to his neck, the smell of his blood and sound of his heart and the anticipation of tasting him at last proved too much and she knew she wouldn’t be able to stop herself from killing him. With as much self control as she could muster she threw herself back across the room and fled in shame

a few weeks later, Rosalie bit him

Rosalie pointed out that Esme’s vemon had changed her, and so the venom now running through Carlisle’s body was as much Esme’s as it was Rosalie’s. It comforted Esme

Carlisle was remarkably quiet during the transformation that lasted two days and two nights. He was in the bed he already shared with Esme - they had gone to Alaska to be close to their cousins and far away from humans - and they had been ready to hold him down and soothe him. But for whatever reason he was silent (like Bella during hers, she couldn’t bear to allow herself to scream)

when his heart finally stopped, the whole family was still in anticipation. Edward, Alice, and Jasper waited downstairs, all carefully monitoring Carlisle from a distance, while Rosalie and Emmett stayed with Esme. Emmett took a protective stance as the strongest vampire in the house in front of Esme while Rose stroked her hand. When Carlisle opened his eyes, the first thing he looked for was Esme. He saw her standing looking like she was about to burst with excitement close to the window and he smiled widely, teeth glinting. His first words as a vampire were to Esme, incredulous and awe-struck; “I can see you.”

#needahugfromesme #ask #human!carlisle #ellie writes

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fijiangecko · 5 years ago

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When the Sun Rises in the West

Prologue

A/N: AHHH IT'S HERE!! I'm so excited to finally share this! I'm planning on posting chapters every couple days so I make you all wait for it 😉 this whole series was entirely based off of this playlist, and every chapter will have a theme. This one isn't super edited but I actually love this series. Heavily based off of GoT (locations and dergons) but no spoilers. This story doesn't use the same plot or same characters.

C/N = City Name

Word Count: 1,700+

The barren wasteland of Essos was home to many people for the past several centuries. From dry deserts to scattered mountain ranges, the people couldn't have been happier to be alive and not in Westeros, dealing with the war of the iron throne. Blood shed, tears, agony and resentment are what wars left behind, not the virtues of peace and prosperity they promised. You, for one, would never want to experience anything like it. As heiress to a city newfound within the last century, your heart is only filled with love for your people. Never in your life would you wish to put a sword in a child's hand and tell them to fight for your honor, and not their own.

There's a reason your people haven't had to fight yet. Both the natural defenses that C/N holds and the ferociousness of native animals. C/N lies in a valley between several mountains. It is deep enough to have its own water supply, and no sane ruler would have his army climb over such steep mountain tops. Plus, they've only heard rumors about you, but no one would dare see if they were true.

The people of C/N love your family and care for you deeply, wishing you good health and even better prosperity. Children walk with you through the streets as you treat them to exotic fruits and pleasantries. The adults are thankful to all gods that they have found this Oasis, this sanctuary of peace and happiness. After trekking across the Red Waste and the Dothraki Sea they found a home for both themselves and their families. They smile as you walk by, greeting you and presenting you with their wares. Oftentimes, they will want you to take it for free - a gift, but you refuse every time. You live with the head family, there's no need for you to get freebies. Everyone lives in simple splendor with their everyday lives; content at the opportunity to have an easy life until they die.

"Y/N!" You snap out of a memory where you're dancing around a great pyre to an ancient song with the town elders. It was the celebration of your fifteenth birthday, an important day in a young person's life as they graduate from childhood to adulthood. "You know you have to leave soon, right?" Your mother walks around the grand table to you, and tests her hand on top of yours. She smiles sweetly as she waits for a response.

"I know, I just don't want too." Your eyes travel downwards at the new memory. Your birthday was in two months, and the 22nd birthday through your family lineage meant marriage. Although you wouldn't be taking over C/N anytime soon due to Fathers good health, there's still a need to have good trade relationships with other cities across the nation. You know that they wouldn't force you into a relationship, as their parents didn't, but let something grow naturally with one of the children of other head families. Out of so many there was bound to be one that caught your favor… or so they hoped.

"It'll be okay pumpkin, we didn't want to send you away for so many months, but Masaru's son is the only person in the world that is like you. There has to be a bond there we don't know about." In the past few months, head families have traveled to meet you and hope that they can tie the knot with you. They were all turned away, due to a couple big factors. 1) they were too young, 2) they had a stick up their ass, 3) they didn't give a shit about what happened to the citizens of their towns and would profit off of their tragedy and 4) there were allegations of slave trade among them. True or not, you would not stand to put a price on human life. If there were allegations, then that means someone connected to them was either in or around the trades themselves. It was sickening to think about. As far as you know, the Bakugou bloodline doesn't have any affiliations with slave traders, their son is your age, if not a little older and cared about his people in an odd way.

"Why am I going for so long? I'm going to miss my 22nd celebration…"

"Well, the Bakugou's haven't been sending us a lot of materials lately, so you're not only there for personal interest but diplomatically. We need these materials for more homes. Those children you live are becoming adults, but we don't have the means to help them." She squeezes your hand. "You can help them. Missing your celebration will suck, I know, but we'll have it as soon as you get back. Plus we'll need to talk about who's going to marry who."

Anxiety bubbles in your chest, but you pop it with a calming smile. "I know. I don't like any of the other candidates, but if the rumors about the younger Bakugou are true than I shouldn't have to worry. If we are the only two in the world that are this way, isn't that a sign from gods old and new?"

"That's the spirit Y/N. We'll finish packing your stuff. Go finish saying your goodbyes." Your mother smiles sweetly and give you a tight hug before letting you go. The rest of the night you reminisce with old friends. You all talk about old shenanigans and pranks you used it pull on older people, but now you're the older people having pranks pulled on them. It is a great night of food and friends with a light dusting of sadness topped off with tears. You were gonna miss everyone, but you must do what they need you to do. They weren't crying because they were acted for you, more like they didn't want you to leave.

At first you misinterpreted their tears, "Guys, I'm gonna be okay! I'll have Rhaegal and Viserion with me."

"No Y/N, we don't want you to go!" Mina cries from across the tavern table. The tears were appreciated, and broke your heart.

"I'll be back before you know it. Maybe I'll even have some eye candy at my side." Everyone laughs and you take the rest of the night to enjoy their company. You wouldn't have been able to sleep anyways, so this was a pleasant alternative.

The morning sun is bright when your eyes crack open. They hurt for a couple seconds, but it passes as your body adjusts to new circumstances. The sun itself is only cresting over the mountain tops, creating a golden glow around everything the light touches. That's when it hits you - this is last sunrise you'll be seeing for who knows how long. If all goes well diplomatically, then you'll be able to return home within a month, but if conflicts arise… you try not to put much thought into it and just watch the hues of peach and orange dance across the sky.

Softly, someone places a hand on your shoulder breaking your stream of thoughtlessness. "It's time to go." Your mother spoke quietly, as though cooing a newborn. Her velvet voice helps calm you even further. It'll only be for a little while. I don't even have to focus on Masaru's son if I don't want too. "C'mon, let's go grab Rhaegal and Viserion."

Walking towards the edge of town, a cart with all of your things lies ahead on the path, waiting to be pulled by 2 horses and their carriage master, Kota. He smiles at you, and you back to him. You can't help but wonder how such a sweet stable boy would want in Mereen, but maybe he just wanted to take Clyde and Grumm out for a walk after being cooped up for so long. You and your mother walk around the base of one of the surrounding mountains to a cave entrance. It's too dark to see inside, but you know the two are there; waiting to be set free since the last incident.

"Ñuhyz zaldrīzesse." Screeching bounced off of the cavern walls, the cacophony animalistic gurgles and grunts echo both out and further into the tunnels. An orange flame lights up the room suddenly, and the scale from the beasts glisten in the fire light. Large cuffs are wrapped around their necks that have chains bolted into the mountain walls. "Ñuha riñar, Rhaegal se Viserion. Iksan vaoreznuni." You walk over to the chains and unlatch them. Their large bodies tower over your own, but you can feel that they mean no harm. Rhaegal nuzzles his chin on the top of your head, as if saying "I know". His green scales shine Viserion bellows out another flame. Altogether, you exit the cave.

"They don't seem agitated." Your mother stands back quite a ways; she knows that they would never harm her but they are very large creatures.

"No, they learned their lesson." You run a hand over Viserion's cream colored scales, looking into his golden eyes. "Daēz." Upon the last sound leaving your lips, the spread their massive wings and take off, spurring dust clouds at their feet.

"Hopefully the Bakugou boy is as caring as you are." She laughs as you both walk to the wagon. Kota stares at the beasts in the sky, marvelling at them as they sore and howl.

"If he's the only other person in this world who has one, then he better be taking care of it as if it were his child."

"There is a reason they call you Muña Zaldrīzoti, my dear." You both laugh for a second and you look up at her.

"I'm going to miss you." You take her hands in your own, and squeeze them. She reciprocates it by releasing your hands and going for a hug.

"You'll do great. I know it and so does your father." She squeezes her arms before releasing. "Now go off and do amazing things." Tears prick the corners of you eyes, but you hold them back as best you can. With one last glance at your smiling mother, you hop on the carriage next to Koda and start on your journey to Mereen.

Ñuhyz zaldrīzesse - My dragons

Ñuha riñar - My children

Iksan vaoreznuni - I'm sorry

Daēz - Be Free

Muña Zaldrīzoti - Mother of Dragons

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kali-tmblr · 6 years ago

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Snowbirds of a Feather: Parallels in the Lives of Qrow and Winter

I didn't pay much attention to Qrow and Winter as a potential couple in their introductory scenes in "Brawl in the Family" because I was so blown away by the improvement in the writing that those scenes represented. Such economical exposition! Yes, the couple's relationship could be called "cute", but there wasn't any real "meat" to it at the time. It wasn't until a volume and a half later in "A Much Needed Talk" that it became clear that the two of them had lived parallel lives on opposite sides of the track.

Let's revisit those scenes from the start of Chapter 3. Not a lot has really happened yet. So far there's been students fighting in the Tournament, vaguely underhanded maneuvering from Cinder's crew, and a flashy, drunken stranger watching the fights unimpressed from a barroom TV. Then an equally flashy ship flies overhead, and Weiss runs off showing more joy than she's shown in the entire series to this date. The drunkard also notices the ship, and declares it a warning of a far bigger fight than anything going on at the Tournament.

Weiss introduces the audience (although not Ruby who is standing right beside her) to her flashy older sister, Atlas Special Agent Winter Schnee. It's a painfully awkward meeting. My first reaction to Winter was, "What a tin-plated asshole." A second later it became, "This is the most socially awkward character in an entire show full of socially awkward characters, and probably the shyest as well, hidden underneath a thick armor plating of formality."

In their meeting the Schnee sisters are each "code-switching" with each other between two different behavior models without seeming to find anything odd about it, and giving poor Ruby (and the audience) a case of whiplash, as well as a sense that things are seriously messed up in the Schnee family. Weiss vacillates between excited little girl and cold formality, with a side order of abusive to Ruby when Ruby is informal. Winter vacillates between cold, sneering, condescending, and abusive; and mere cold formality. In the case of both sisters it quickly becomes clear that cold, sneering, condescending, and abusive within a hierarchical structure is what they grew up with. Winter can sneer at and abuse Weiss, but Weiss can't do the same back at Winter. Instead, she abuses the lower-ranked (to the Schnee family) Ruby. More to the point, Weiss and Winter obviously expect nothing else from each other. It becomes clear that they do care about each other, but they don't know any other way to show it.

But while sneering condescension and abuse is clearly the default mode in Winter's mind for meeting with her little sister, it's not the mode she stays in. She overtly makes an effort, not once, not twice, but three separate times in one conversation to code-switch from abusive condescension into the merely cold, militaristic formality that she must have picked up at the Atlas Academy. It obviously doesn't come naturally to her in speaking with her sister, it's the abusive condescension that comes naturally, but darn it, she keeps trying!

It's heartbreaking.

This scene is just so elegant. It not only introduces Winter and shows us a ton of details about the Schnee family dynamics, but it also provides callbacks to Season 1. The audience is reminded of what Weiss was like when she arrived at Beacon and how much progress she has made in socializing. We're also given a hint as to maybe why Weiss chose Beacon over Atlas Academy if that's all the social skills her sister learned there. And we're also given the contrast between the cold formality of the Schnee sisters and the loving warmth of Ruby and Yang. At the end of the scene Winter and Weiss are headed for the dorm, where I am eagerly looking forward to Yang teaching Winter a lesson on the proper care and maintenance of baby sisters, especially baby sisters who also happen to be Yang's teammates, which may or may not involve fisticuffs.

I'm still waiting for that scene, because that's when the story takes a turn.

The drunkard lurches forward, easily decapitating two of the latest models of Atlesian Knights in spite of being unable to walk in a straight line, and begins hurling insults on the Atlas military directed at it's highest ranking member present, Winter. He calls her ship "gaudy", which while it is objectively true, is also ironic coming from the only man we've met who wears a cape. She calls him "Qrow", the name of Ruby and Yang's heretofore unseen uncle, and he calls her "Ice Queen", to the confusion of Weiss.

In this scene what Winter doesn't do is even more interesting than what she does do. She's being insulted by a falling down drunk, and she DOESN'T respond with the same sneering condescension she just used on her own dear sister, even though many people routinely use that tone with drunks. She maintains a now angry formality. He's handing her opportunities to sneer on a silver platter, and she's not taking them. This tells us that sneering condescension is a holdover from her childhood, not something she normally uses in her adult life.

More importantly she allows her own little sister to prance right up to this drunkard and confront him. She doesn't react at all when the drunkard puts his hands all over her sister's head and uses it for balance before gently pushing her sister to the side. This scene tells us one of two things. Either Winter doesn't care about her little sister's welfare, or she is convinced that even though obviously incapacitated by alcohol, with his motor functions, vision, and reason clearly impaired, the drunken man is in spite of this no threat to the young woman. That level of conviction speaks not only of lots of prior experience, but a high degree of trust in spite of their current animosity.

The insults continue with Qrow upset about Ironwood's humiliation of Ozpin before the Vale council at the end of Volume 2 , reminding the audience of that development. However much the two leaders have been downplaying their disagreement in their personal meetings, it obviously has their loyal bannermen up in arms.

(Some people have assumed that Qrow and Winter were former lovers, but I don't see anything here that really supports that premise. They're simply arguing over policy. Lovers would have a more thorough knowledge of each other's buttons.)

Winter holds her ground until Qrow starts threatening to blab state secrets in the public square, then she changes tactics. Unfortunately for her she attacks him instead of grabbing him by the arm and dragging him somewhere out of earshot. But it's fortunate for us, as we get the best 1v1 duel so far.

As good as it is, it's also clear Qrow is holding back. Judging from the Ursa we will see Winter summon in the next episode, so is she.

Qrow keeps one eye on the Beacon Tower, and when he sees Ironwood coming up behind Winter, he goads her into attacking an unarmed man in front of her superior. In this way he publicly humiliates Winter as Ironwood's proxy in a similar manner to how Ironwood has publicly humiliated Ozpin with the council. The action is childish and petty, but not personal, a drunken, juvenile payback.

Winter's opinion on the prank isn't known, but she is clearly furious.

Then the action switches to inside Beacon Tower, where it becomes clear that both combatants are intensely loyal to and highly valued by their respective Headmasters, although Qrow outranks Winter and has her thrown out. Then we move on to info dumps and plot developments galore.

The way these scenes fold so much information inside them is vastly improved over the first two Volumes. But as lovely as our snowbirds look together, there's no real reason to ship them - yet. That would wait until we began to get Qrow's backstory in Volume 4. Once Qrow begins to talk about his childhood, it gradually becomes clear how much his life story has echoed Winter's life story. Shall we count the ways?

1) Horrible childhood: Qrow grew up an unloved, unwanted child in a chaotic, abusive bandit camp, and quickly becomes the camp scapegoat. From what we have seen Winter grew up in a home that was cold and abusive, where order and affection came from the servants, not her parents.

2) Grew up in the shadow of a narcissist: Winter grew up in the shadow of her narcissistic father Jaques. Qrow appears to have grown up in the shadow of his narcissistic sister Raven. Both narcissists have shown that they only regard other people as tools or enemies, including family. This tends to leave a child with major insecurity issues.

3) Escape to Academy: Both Qrow and Raven made it to Huntsmen Academies, where they encountered genuine order and a semblance of fairness for the first time. The Academy was the first decent thing that happened to them, and in that environment both of them blossomed.

4) Remade themselves into the Headmaster's pets: Both characters appear to have used their time at their respective Academies to reinvent themselves. Both of them took the ethos of their schools and their Headmasters to heart. Each one strove successfully to become their Headmaster's trusted eyes and ears in the field.

5) Flashy exterior, insecure interior: In each case a flashy exterior conceals deep insecurities.

6) Guilt over children: This one's a bit of a stretch, but not much. Winter constantly telling Weiss she has to be strong sounds like guilt over the fact that Winter had to leave Weiss behind in an abusive situation in order to go to Atlas Academy. As for Qrow, after growing up unwanted I think he would have panicked over Yang and Ruby growing up motherless, tried to be there to help Tai as much as he could, and felt guilty about having to leave on missions for Ozpin, which wouldn't help his drinking any.

7) Socially Awkward: They're both socially awkward. Winter conceals her social awkwardness behind a formal exterior. Qrow hides his social awkwardness behind drinking and physical seperation.

8) Arrested Development: Both of them successfully escaped traumatic childhoods and reinvented themselves as Teacher's Pets, completely loyal to their respective saviours. And there both of them seem to have stopped maturing. Growing any more would have meant questioning their idol, and neither one was willing to do that. We saw how Qrow was shaken to his core when the man he reveres turned out to have feet of clay. Should Ironwood fall from grace, it will be no less traumatic for Winter than Ozpin's fall from grace was for Qrow. But perhaps on the other side of that they will both finally find themselves standing as their own people.

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