#I can't think of one thing I look back on and am like 'I'm really happy with how that went down :)'

[littlest-bugz]

The Collective You

[one system's brief advice about accepting the idea of the collective you]

One of the best pieces of system advice started from a tumblr post and was elaborated by my DID specialist. I can't find the original tumblr post that started it, so I'm making a little post of my own <3 Share the knowledge. and also hope that someone can link the original post lol.

When I was REALLY going through it™ with my first diagnosis w/ DID, and a lack of integration, all of my alters felt like separate individuals, some of us feeling as distanced as a coworker or a stranger altogether. We were just getting a grasp on internal communication between all of our subsystems, and it was rough. We felt so entirely differentiated that we were our own people trapped in one body. While I don't really care about what language you use, all alters in CDDs are a part of one person [there's only one body and brain]- the collective you.

So obvs, I'm scrolling tumblr like the chronically online doomscroller that I am, and I see this post that goes along the line of not knowing who you are, but knowing you are 'you', regardless of who you are [referring to alters]. And it said something like "we're all me enough to pick up our meds"- something like that. iirc it was a half light hearted, half advice post, but that was really good advice for me. I kind of internalized it after I processed it in therapy. It's actually why I have started to love parts language lately tbh.

After further processing this idea in therapy, Identity Confusion stopped mattering in the grand scheme of things. I focused less on worrying about who I was, and just focused on the fact that I'm me. Just like the post I saw- We are all me. The example of all being me enough to pick up my medications just applied, like, everywhere. Even when it came down to the smallest things- with coping with other symptoms too.

Oh? I don't like coffee right now? I guess I should switch to something else. [differentiated alters]

Oh? I have barely any drawing skills right now? Okay, really sucks but I can work on something else and come back to it later. [skill variance between alters]

Oh? I have to go to a doctor's appointment? I know I'll forget that- Gotta write a list, and put it up on the board so I remember. [day to day amnesia]

You know what happened? My dissociation got better! Not immediately or entirely, obviously, and my memory [re amnesia] still sucks, but that's part of the disorder- plus other disorders that I have. This idea of the collective you is something that I think is really beneficial to all CDD systems, especially during the mid to later stages of recovery.

I, admittedly, credit most of my healing to conversations I have had with my DID specialist. Especially since, without her, I wouldn't have been able to process this idea of the collective me further, but the conversation wouldn't have been started if I hadn't seen that post on tumblr. This was a budding concept with us due to the separation we had. It helped with integration. GRANTED... Not every alter got the memo, obviously, but It's something that I'm still working on. Of course, being me comes with the prerequisite that I am a person with DID, and that I am made up of multiple parts.

Now for the piece of advice I got from my therapist- Though it requires a certain level of knowledge of your own system, such as a list of alters and some identifying info [fav drinks, fav colors, those type of things]. Look at the list of your alters wherever it may be. Just whatever you use for logging your system members. Look for the commonalities between alters. There will be at least some commonalities.

For example; A good 45% of us like bunnies, 45% like cats, and 10% have a liking for other kinds of animals. Using this information, I can pretty much deduce that 1. the collective me loves animals and 2. the collective me likes cats and bunnies especially.

Another example; I looked through our simplyplural, which has a favorite color thing [in ours at least]. By looking through the list, I figured out 1. wow I like literally all colors- my fav color is rainbows and 2. I especially like pink and light blue.

More examples; the list.. THE LIST... I looked through it and saw that a good 90% of us like MONSTER ENERGY DRINKS- of varying flavors, but the common denominator was Ultra Strawberry Dreams, but all of us like [or tolerate] water as a preferred drink. From there I can come to the conclusion that I prefer water over anything else and that I have a problem with monster [being light hearted but I genuinely do].

I hope you get the idea I'm going for. I used this process for nearly every aspect of our collective identity, though some had to genuinely be voted on, such as our LGBTQIA+ labels [offline, we just call ourself queer, but that's.. aside the point LMAO].

Obviously, there are going to be outliers- Having DID comes with the fun [/s] aspect of alters being differentiated from each other in some capacity. Example for the monster energy one- We have a handful of alters that HATE energy drinks- even just fizzy drinks in general. There's one guy who will only drink Black Coffee and water- nothing else. He's the guy who is always hiding away our monsters in the way back of the fridge, but guess what!! He's me!! The part of me that doesn't want me to ruin my health over energy drinks. The part of me that knows I deserve better than my unhealthy habits.

Getting to know the collective you is just like learning about your system! It is not inherently different than figuring out what an alters dislikes or likes are. The idea of The Collective You shouldn't feel scary or anxiety inducing- if it is, you may want to confront those feelings with a therapist if you have access to one. Every CDD system is the collective [or, well, system] of one fragmented individual- That is a studied and objective fact. I wanted to give advice from one recovering system to another.

No, this will not work for everyone, every system is different, but I'm hoping this post finds the right audience in knowing that it's worth a shot to try this!

[shirayuricky]

(oh you sound so busy 😓 and a month is so close omg may uni be take it easy with you, fighting!! i'll look foward to it then I'm sure it will be so good 🥹)

fluff but hard thoughts (???)

this one is REALLY long .. i'm sorry !!

well, it's so embarrassing and a bit weird / cringey actually but i thought about it out of sudden and can't get it off my head pls help (pleasee ignore this if u don't like it im so embarrassed so i apologize if u think it's too weird 😅

rlly ah why i thought abt it 🫠

this is abt gunwookie btw i love him smmm

for reference i wanted to add those pictures of him wearing that snorlax onesie but i don't know why i can't add images here

reader lives alone on her apartment so she's always spending her free time doing the things that makes her happy. she rlly enjoys having these self-healing times but still feels kinda lonely sometimes, that's when she ends up falling asleep cuddling her GIANT teddy bear she got on one of that big claw machines. only when she feels lonely, she tells herself. she is good on her own... but who is she lying to? she hugs that bear so tightly every single night, that's her best friend. she didn't got close to anybody at college and the routine is tough, that fluffy bear is the only one that always hear the feelings she holds deep down her heart and she feels comforted by that she even named him and takes it all around the house, when she's watching movies, cooking and baking or just being. one night she got so worked up after watching a romance movie with unexpected hot scenes that she just couldn't sleep thinking about it. suddenly she felt her body heat up while still holding tight to her bear cause she thought hugging him again would help her sleep faster even tho it didn't. instead, she started slowing grinding on it searching for some kind of relief. when she realized she was whimpering against the bear's soft cheeks and couldn't stop riding it so she started crying she felt so needy, sad and hopeless at the same time. she felt asleep bc of all the crying and her heart breaking she just wished her teddy bear could hug her back and take care of her.

deep in her sleep she felt a really soft touch, caressing her thighs, her waist and then hear face. she tought it was a dream, but when she felt a small kiss on her cheek she woke up to the sight of the prettiest guy she's ever seen and he was smiling so prettily and sweet but still he was a stranger, obviously she would scream. her high pitched scream almost broke the cute boy's heart. why was she screaming like this after telling him i love you every night. he was teary-eyed.

"WHO TF ARE YOU? HOW DID YOU GOT IN MY ROOM YOU PERV?" she was freaking out, who wouldn't though? she was so disturbed by the vision of a unknown -tall as hell- man IN HER BED wearing fcking bear pajamas. who is tryna prank her?

he tilted his head to the side in confusion and said "it's me gunwookie"

she blinked like five times before widening her eyes and again asking herself if this is a prank, how could it be, no one knows about her shameful friendship with a teddy bear, so how could he knows the name of it? he must be a stalker.

"what are your intentions? why are you... stalking me? how do you know me?"

and he looked even more confused than her

"i just wanna take care of you, i love you so much too, it was you who brought me here and I'm so thankful that you treat me so well" he smiled again

something sparked on her brain and she looked around her room searching for the giant teddy bear until she noticed he was there anymore... it can't be...?

"wait... are you my wookie bear? what am i saying? that's impossible..."

he just nodded his head and smiled again

"are you for real??" and gunwook confirmed but seconds later his smile dropped

"why were you crying earlier? i got so worried" and he pouted sadly

oh so he is really my bear, she thought

"I was feeling too sad and lonely gunwookie :( that's why"

"is there something i can do to make you better?" he asked and she just jumped on him giving the biggest hug ever, she needed that

"just stay here with me please gunwookie"

"okay i won't go anywhere" and he hugged her back

after a moment he speaked up again "I'm so sorry"

"why are you saying that, wookie?"

"did i hurt you? you were near me doing those sounds and then you started crying, i don't really understand what happened.. it sounded like you were in pain.. did i do something wrong? please explain me and i promised i will apologize properly to you and repair any mistake"

oh this is gonna be a really long night

(oh 🍄 anon my tests for this week has ended and now i'm back to this. and i got your back! i found some pics of gunwook in a snorlax hoodie. if you're in anon, you can't share images, just links!)

so continuing on from where we left, you explained that you are not in pain, just desperate for pleasure. gunwook seems a bit clueless but when he gets what you're trying to mean, his cheeks blush in pink. he lets you take the lead, he doesn't want to hurt you. he just wanted you to feel satisfied in your sleep.

you ride his cock, bouncing up and down, as you interlocked both of your hands together with his hands. and his blush just gets more pink. he's getting flustered from the pleasure, sweet and soft moans spilling out of his lips.

after the both of you cummed, you tidied yourself up and gave gunwook a simple aftercare, solely made of cuddles. "sorry for that, i was just...needy." you apologised. "y/n, that's alright, at least you're...happy now." gunwook responded, wrapping his arms around you.

[mimisempai]

You make everything better

Summary

Aziraphale cleans up, humming The Sound of Music, and Crowley wonders if he too is one of the angel's favourite things.

Notes

Absolutely no shame about the amount of fluff in this ficlet....

On Ao3

Rating G -  918 words

“When the dog bites

When the bee stings

When I'm feeling sad

I simply remember my favorite things

And then I don't feel so bad.”

Aziraphale hadn't heard Crowley arrive and was humming as he cleaned the living room, waving his feather duster to the rhythm of his song.

Crowley leaned against the doorframe and watched him for a few moments, amused. When Aziraphale stopped singing, the demon asked, "Really? The sound of music? I seem to remember you looking rather horrified a few years ago when I mentioned the idea of hearing it for eternityyyyy in heaven..."

Aziraphale turned and chuckled slightly before replying, "The very fact of not being doomed to it makes it enjoyable from time to time."

Crowley nodded.

"Not to mention the number of culinary mentions of that song. Between the schnitzel with noodles and the crisp apple strudel, there's enough to make your mouth water, isn't there, Angel? Which brings me to the reason for my interruption. Your tea is ready."

"Perfect timing, my dear, I needed a little break."

The angel put down his duster and joined Crowley, lifting his head to receive a kiss that the demon didn't hesitate to plant on his lips before they walked together to the kitchen.

There, Crowley pushed a steaming cup of tea toward the angel, who grabbed it greedily. Then, lifting it to his face, Aziraphale inhaled deeply, and as the demon sipped his espresso, he watched with fondness the look of pure delight that crossed his lover's face.

Of all the myriad things that made Aziraphale so endearing to Crowley, he wasn't sure which he liked best. But among the most important was his love for the good and beautiful things in life, whether culinary, musical, artistic, literary, or any other field that piqued his interest, and his inexhaustible capacity to enjoy the simplest little things in life.

"Crowley?"

Aziraphale's soft voice snapped him out of his thoughts and the angel continued, asking worriedly, "Is everything all right?"

Crowley nodded and took another sip of coffee as Aziraphale went on, "You seemed lost in your thoughts."

Crowley reassured him with a smile as he replied, "I was thinking back to the lyrics of the song you were humming and wondering if I might be one of your favorite things to help you not feel too bad when things are not quite right."

Aziraphale shook his head and approached Crowley, wrapping his arms around the demon's neck as he said softly, "You, my dear demon, have a unique place. You're not one of my favorite things, but you're the only one that's indispensable to me. As vital as the air that humans breathe. My favorite things don't matter if you're not there to share them with me. If I can't enjoy them with you."

Crowley should have known by now that Aziraphale was the angel who never ceased to baffle him. Especially now that they were both free, now that he wasn't afraid to express what he was feeling.

He closed his arms around Aziraphale and leaned in to press his lips to hers in another tender kiss before holding him close.

After a few moments, Aziraphale pulled away a little and traced the outline of Crowley's eyes with his fingertips, humming to the tune of the song he'd sung earlier: "Your eyes whose color makes the sun pale in comparison."

Crowley smiled a little, and Aziraphale, running his thumb over the smiling lips, continued: “This little smile of which I know I am the reason...”

Then his hand moved down Crowley's arm, intertwining his fingers with those of his lover as he continued: "Your hand, which fits perfectly into mine, these are a few of my favorite things..."

Crowley chuckled softly and replied, "Angel! You are such a poet!"

Aziraphale replied, "You bring out the best in me, and that's nothing considering you inspired Shakespeare himself."

They laughed together at this shared memory, and Crowley could not help but ask, "Tell me more about these favorite things, Angel."

Aziraphale smiled knowingly and continued his song, "The sound of your voice when you tell me you love me, holding hands unworried 'cause now we are free," he paused to stroke Crowley's cheek and continued, "That sweet expression you have only for me, those are a few of my favorite things..."

Then Aziraphale brought his lips close to Crowley's and murmured against them, "When the dog bites, when the bee stings, when I feel sad, I just remember that you're my favorite thing, and then I don't feel so bad."

Then the angel stopped singing and continued, "Actually, that's an understatement, it's not that I don't feel so bad, it's that I feel so much better. You've always made things better for me, everything's better because you're here, Crowley."

Crowley, overwhelmed by emotion and unable to respond, did the only thing he could - he closed the distance between them and pressed his lips to Aziraphale's in a passionate kiss.

Later, when they parted to catch their breath, Crowley cupped Aziraphale's face in his hands and said softly, "I don't know where to begin in listing all the favorite things I have when I'm with you, but I feel like there's still more to discover, Angel."

Aziraphale replied with a cheeky grin, "That's okay, we've got an eternity for that."

Crowley leaned over and planted a light kiss on Aziraphale's nose before smiling and saying, "Eternityyyyy? That might become another one of my favorite things."

_________

Still not beta'd

Still not my native language

Still hoping you'll enjoy this story  🥰

Still thanking you for bearing with me 😝

South Downs cottage series : here

Ineffable fan fictions Masterpost : here

[necrotic-nephilim]

in my mind brudick marriage happens almost byaccident: after bruce “dies” dick is left alone and without access to damian or the manor or funds as he was never adopted and is only a former ward, so in dicks grieving mind the clearest way forward is to forge a secret but technically legal marriage, bruce doesn’t find out for years after he comes back, damian knew why he was in custody with richard and assumed it was common knowledge that no one ever brought up, alfred just lets this all play out even knowing that bruce did have a clause in his will to protect dick incase of death (plans upon plans), bruce was upset in all the ways bruce would deny his feelings

this is SUCH a good thought oh my god-

first of all, i am kissing you on the mouth for adding morally fucked up Alfred who just *lets* this play out. he could easily intervene and he *should*, but the idea that he doesn't because for some reason he thinks this is for the best is *such* good food. i love the thought that Alfred knows about unresolved BruDick feelings and feels in Bruce's death, Bruce at least deserves the one thing he never allowed himself to have in life: Dick's hand in marriage. and Dick is so deep in denial and just trying to legally keep hold of Damian and Wayne Enterprises. it's such a stupid last ditch effort and he doesn't even expect it to *work* but it does. Dick is able to keep it under wraps with only a few lawyers and WE higher ups knowing, the public assumes Bruce naturally left everything to Dick bc why wouldn't he? Dick is his eldest ward, after all. Damian knows bc he sees all the papers concerning Dick having his legal guardianship and he just shrugs it off because really, his father's relationship with Dick is none of his business.

and of course, when Bruce comes up there are so many *other* things to handle that Dick just doesn't think to mention it. he's not willingly withholding the information and Bruce assumes Dick *knew* about the contingencies Bruce set up for his death so he doesn't question Dick having all this control. it's not until years later when one of his WE lawyers passingly mentions "oh you might need your husband to sign off on this too" and Bruce is like. i'm sorry my *what*. because he knows the Batfam got up to some chaotic things trying to keep his death a secret, but no one mentioned a *husband*. so Bruce checks the paperwork and is going through every single stage of grief because *did no one think to tell him he's legally married to Dick.* Bruce demands answers and Dick has to awkwardly explain the whole thing to a baffled Bruce who just asks why Dick didn't *check Bruce's files* for this. (maybe Dick didn't think to, maybe Alfred deleted them, who's to say) Bruce wants to be mad at Dick, mostly for not telling Bruce. but all his unspoken feelings make it *very* difficult to figure out what to do. especially when Dick offers to quietly get a divorce since enow the marriage isn't needed and Bruce's *gut* reaction is to blurt out no, no no let's not do that. and he can't explain why he's so against it without admitting how badly he wants to be married to Dick even amidst the worst of his feelings.

it takes them months to actually *talk* about it, and tbh it's probably Damian's assumptions about their relationship that make them face it. bc to Damian the mutual feelings are obvious and the marriage is known so yes of course, Bruce and Dick are in love and together what's so difficult to understand about this, it's no one's business but their own. (i especially love the idea of Damian chastises other characters like Tim for trying to ask questions because doesn't Tim know romance for Bruce is a very private affair and it's *wildly* disrespectful of Tim to think he has the right to know these things.) and so when Damian makes a passing comment about their relationship and Bruce and Dick share a mortified look, they realize they have to talk about it. and instead of ending on clearing the air, they accidentally confess feelings for one another. it's stilted and painful, but they manage to agree maybe they can keep the marriage going. and maybe they don't have to correct Damian.

(also, this is a side thought but: i think a lot about how Tommy Elliot was made to pretend to be Bruce while Bruce was dead and all that fun, and i think it's fun if Tommy knows about the marriage bc he helped Dick sign off on it. and Tommy tries to force Dick into a relationship with him to "maintain the facade" and Dick rejects the advances, maybe Tommy even forces himself on Dick once or twice. it doesn't go too far and they get Tommy back under control, but it's clear Tommy's annoyed when Bruce comes back and he doesn't get to "have his fun" anymore. also fun if Bruce finds out about this and is *furious* bc not only did he not know he's married to Dick, but it was *Tommy* who got to have Dick as a husband before Bruce did and now he's jealous and pissed about the whole thing. just a fun little aside thought bc i wish the fandom had more fun with Tommy's era of pretending to be Bruce.)

[notmorbid]

woman, eating.

dialogue prompts from woman, eating: a literary vampire novel by claire kohda.

people have appalling night vision.

i've marked crosses where you need to sign.

where did you say you live? anywhere near ____?

you hate me, don't you?

you won't make it without me.

it's hard to know what's real with you.

i did everything for you. everything was for you.

i don't like eating alone.

god wouldn't want to help a demon survive, and that's what we are.

this place is beyond new beginnings.

what do you see yourself as?

demon is a subjective term.

i'm not very good at goodbyes. or any form of greeting, actually.

how are you? i miss you. i want to hear about your life.

everything in everyone's life is temporary.

just imagine i'm dead.

people are like flowers: seasonal, wilting, and finite.

am i the only other person who can see you?

it sounded like you were dragging a body across the floor.

we cannot have any more catastrophe.

don't talk back to me.

my body isn't mine. it isn't a good fit for me.

you were very human. that was what i liked about you.

you never told me how ___ died.

i have to do everything for you, don't i?

give it time. you just haven't found yourself yet.

i don't really get contemporary art.

i'm trying to figure out what i want to do with my life.

how come you stopped ____?

what does the winner get?

it's kind of like being a kid again.

i don't want to be walking too late.

just be careful.

watch out for ___.

we're the same.

sorry if i said anything bad or embarrassing.

everything looks different, but it's hard to pinpoint how.

i like your look.

will you swap with me? can i be you for a bit?

i guess i feel small. undervalued.

it's hard to see what's beautiful anymore.

taking is not good for the soul.

what are you doing? lost?

did i make you feel bad?

i feel like i've been standing completely still.

i'm not sure what i feel when i look at you.

sorry. i'm not good at talking about it.

what are you going to do?

i'm really sorry about the ____.

when you left, you took something of me with you.

i'm sorry. i don't know what's wrong with me.

life is a line, not a circle.

i think i like you.

i don't want to feel at home in the dark.

take me with you. please.

i can't take you with me.

memories make life.

move away. i'm dangerous.

i don't know who i am anymore.

are you high or something?

i don't think i ever hated you.

can i do anything to help?

i wish i could be honest.

i don't want to bring you down with me.

i can't tell what it is i want.

the other night was a mistake.

you don't like me?

i am completely alone.

will you let me in?

i think i've known for a while.

you can't just listen to one side and block out the other.

neither side of me can be separated from the other.

i don't have sides at all. i am two things that have become one thing.

are you okay? do you need help getting home?

i'm not sure what i am anymore.

for the first time, i feel like i'm exactly where i'm meant to be.

this feels like the first time i've really seen you.

[velocesainz]

Oscar Piastri

friends to lovers(I wanted to ask if you don't mind adding that when they're going to have sex reader is insecure of her body)

Bathrobe: You're literally perfect

Mesh top: Why do you care so much

Shirt: Your moans are my favourite sound

Tank top: I can't get enough of you

Tunic: Jealous? So what if I am jealous

Cufflinks: Jealousy

Leg warmer: Degradation

Tie: Choking

Mirror sex

A/n: Thank you for the order! Enjoy!

Friend no more

F1 Masterlist | Main masterlist | Taglist

Summary: Oscar and reader are best friends and garner feeling for each other. Reader thinking it’s a lost cause after being accidentally friend-zoned by Oscar tries to move on but Oscar has other plans

Pairing: Oscar piastri x reader

Warnings: smut, slight angst

Order receipt:

Bathrobe: You’re literally perfect

Mesh top: Why do you care so much

Shirt: Your moans are my favourite sound

Tank top: I can’t get enough of you

Tunic: Jealous? So what if I am jealous

Cufflink: Jealousy

Leg warmer: Degradation

Tie: Choking

Bucket hat: Mirror sex

Face mask: Insecure reader

Reader pov:

I sat at our apartment waiting for my best friend to arrive so we can get ready to go together to a party that Oscar decided to drag me to

One thing about me is that I care deeply for the people I love and will to anything for them, even it means sacrificing a perfectly good lazy saturday evening that I could've spent watching tv shows and binge eating chips.

I love Oscar, much more than a friend and I have a suspicion that he feels the same judging by the way he cares for and looks at me . His mom herself told me she was sure that he liked me but you never know, I'm waiting for him to make the first move just to be sure

Me and him have been friends ever since we were in diapers. Our parents were best friends and so we followed the same. I followed Oscar around in the gap year I had taken before uni and we grew impossibly closer.

I was still working on my degree in aerodynamics hoping to join Oscar in his ventures in formula 1.

My train of thought was cut off by the doorbell ringing pulling me back into the real world

I quickly opened the door and let Oscar in

"So what are you planning on wearing?" Oscar questioned as he started picking out what he was going to wear

"I don't really know, maybe a pair of jeans and a shirt?" I responded still contemplating outfit choices

"Oh come on that's so boring, let loose, wear some dresses for a change" He told me and took me by surprise

I guess he was right, maybe he was going to confess and that's why he's making me dress nice.

I put on a short satin black dress feeling sort of exposed and insecure and quickly did my make up and curled my hair

"Ok I'm ready to go!" I called out to Oscar

I froze when I saw him, he looked so goddamn hot. He was in a simple pair of blue jeans a black shirt with the sleeves rolled up

I swear I was going to melt right then and there

"Y-you look absolutely gorgeous" He sputtered

"Getting a compliment for you? I must look really hot then huh" I replied sarcastically

"Let's not get too ahead of ourselves now. Let's get going or we will be late, not that we're not late already"

It was in Oscar's nature to be late to whatever or wherever he goes to do but he's been slowly working on it.

We both sat in his Mclaren and drove to the club where the party was

Upon reaching there we were met with a crowd. I had not met Oscar's friends in formula 1 as of yet so I was nervous as well as excited to meet them today.

Lando approached and brought us in

"So who is this beautiful woman you have with you today Oscar?" Lando questioned

"This is my childhood best friend y/n. We grew up together" Oscar replied breaking my heart

"Are you sure she's not your girlfriend mate?"

"I don't like her like that" With that my heart shattered into tiny pieces. I thought he liked me back.

I guess I was wrong this whole time. I was only his best friend, nothing more.

After we reached the table I quickly made my way away from Oscar to sit at the opposite side

I saw Oscar flirting with a really pretty looking model making me dig an even deeper hole in self hatred and insecurity.

I decided to speak to Lando who seemed interested in me. I mean I had to get over Oscar in one way or another.

As we were talking we slowly started flirting and touching each other softly

Oscar pov:

As soon as we reached the table y/n went and sat at the opposite end of the table which was very odd, she loved sitting next to me.

She was then approached by Lando which made my heart sink. I have liked her for years but I never had the guts to tell her and at this point I don't think she likes me anyways.

Observing th two of them I saw them flirting with each other and lightly touching each other all I could see was red.

I don't know what came over me but I walked over to them and grabbed y/n's hand dragging her out of there

"Hey what gives?" she shouted at me

I ignored her protests and threw her into the car and drive straight to our apartment

As soon as we got home I dragged her inside

"What the fuck is wrong with you? I was having a really nice conversation with Lando until you rudely came and interrupted us" she exclaimed

"You both were getting too flirty and close to him. If I hadn't stopped it you would've ended up in his bed" I tried to explain

"So what Oscar? Why do you care so much?" she snarled out

"I care because you're my best friend and i don't want to see you getting hurt" I replied

"It was literally as if you were jealous of me and Lando being close" she said

Hearing Lando's name made me clench my fists.

"Jealous? So what if I am jealous" I replied my eyes getting darker

"W-what-" I cut her off with a passionate kiss

She broke the kiss quickly

"I'm just your best friend Oscar, go back to those hot models. I'm not as pretty and hot as they are"

This made me angry. How could she think of herself like that? To me and a lot of other guys she was the most beautiful woman ever.

"You’re literally perfect darling. I'll show you just how pretty you are darling" I whispered huskily into her ear and dragged her to my room while kissing her.

Reader pov:

Oscar took us to his bedroom and pushed me onto the plush bed

He took off my clothes one by one admiring my body but being the insecure person I am I tried covering myself

“Don’t do that. You’re literally perfect. Stop shying away and hiding from me” he told me and placed me in such a way that I could see myself in the mirror

“Watch yourself while I fuck you bitch. See how pretty of a slut you look for me”

With that he lined himself up and thrusted into me bottoming out immediately

I let out the loudest moan I ever had and as he continued to thrust into me I moaned non stop he felt so good

“Mhph your moans are my favourite sound. Keep moaning whore”

He then switched positions from doggy to missionary and thrusted into me again

He put his hands around my throat lightly choking me causing me to let out a moan

“Oh you like that little slut? You like when I choke you like that?” He asked

All I could do was nod in response

We both were approaching our highs and his thrusts turned sloppy

“Where do you want me whore”

“In my mouth please” I pleaded

He pulled and pumped himself to the edge while circling my clit which also brought me to the edge

Thick strings of hot cum entered my mouth and I swallowed it completely savouring the taste

“You’re so perfect for me baby. Never leave me” with that he hugged me and we both fell into a deep slumber

A/n: hello lovelies hope you guys liked this, it’s kind of a long one. As always make sure to send any feedback. Kissies ✨

Taglist:

@grantaires-waistcoat

@tellybearryyyy

[a-star-that-burns-brightly]

CH2-14 Thoughts

So! CH2-14, huh? This episode has been our longest in the series yet, and it has used that time incredibly efficiently, especially given it is the penultimate episode before our culprit reveal. I don't think there's much to start with, really. Let's jump right into it :D

SWEAR STATISTICS (ch2-13)

BINGO CARD

Nico

DT-Dev needs to stop drawing Nico so handsome when they're in the middle of killing someone. this has happened twice now, I am very concerned.

Nico is probably the character I have the least to say about overall, but I still think it's fair to start with them. For one, we finally got the reveal of Nico's true murder plan! I...still personally do not understand why they didn't just garrote the man from the beginning, but it's nice to finally have some answers. Nico confessing to not trusting anyone in the killing game as well as their whole speech later on is honestly very based, if I was in their shoes I'd probably not see the point in pretending to be guilty either, and I really do think it was the most mature way to respond to this situation as a whole. Nico is probably one of the more logically-driven in the cast (when Ace isn't up their ass, anyway), so it makes a lot of sense to me that this is the conclusion they'd come to.

(x) Nico: I… I just can't stand being treated like that. My teachers, my classmates, my father… I don't ever want to relive what they did to me.

Furthermore, we also learned that their father was also in on the abuse and transphobia they received, and this combined with how Levi talked about his father in the previous episode, it's just daddy issues across the board huh? Guess DT-Dev had to make up for J's mom angst somehow lmao. But in all seriousness, the fact that Nico more than likely had no one be there for them during those times is probably part of why they drifted more towards animals, besides the fact that there's no social rules with animals. (...has anyone put alien blues by vundabar on a nico playlist? I'm getting sidetracked.)

There is also a lot I could say about Nico's predominant male figure subjecting them to such treatment and how that relates to their relationship with Ace and Ace in general, but I'll leave that for a future post. All I'll say for right now is to look up VeryWellMind's page on toxic masculinity and observe how many points relate back to Ace :3

(x) Nico: I don't expect you to forgive me. Very few people ever do. So I don't see the point in acting sorry.

The last thing I really want to mention when it comes to Nico is this line, specifically the bolded text, because... am I wrong to think this is a very strange thing to say in the context of talking about your attempted murder? I've seen people say that this could be in reference to Nico's blunt way of speaking, but I feel like that doesn't fit in with this context, and the wording itself feels too dramatic for that to be the case. I feel like Nico has resorted to violence against their bullies before. I don't think it ever got as severe as the situation with Ace, but if only a few days of abuse caused Nico to choose violence, I think its almost a guarantee that they resorted to violence a few times during the years they were abused by their peers. Would certainly explain those weird ass bandages around their upper arms. anyway Nico, I adore you very much despite your bullshit murder plan. can't wait to see where you go :) (also is it fair to say that the theories of literally anyone else committing Ace's attempted murder are de-confirmed now? Like I don't think you could get a greater confirmation than the first thirteen minutes of this episode lmao)

Hu

...Oh yikes. So I have defended Hu on a few occasions, talking about how she is just defending Nico and that her behavior towards them is completely normal. And I think I must take advantage of my minimal gag reflex and gulp down that L because lord have fucking mercy.

First and foremost

(x) Hu: You’re trying to paint them as the villain just because they lost their temper at Ace once!

(x) Hu: If Arei died of a stab wound, it would be wrong for me to say you did it.

Both of these lines were fucking crazy of her lmao. Absolutely nonsensical, she is so annoying /affectionate

Second and secondmost, Hu so clearly projecting her own emotions and feelings onto Nico so that they can look weak and small and thus have to rely on her and clinging onto that perception when it continues to falter is so fucking delicious. The way I worded that makes it seem like I think Hu is being malicious, I do not, but also that is literally what she is doing, and furthermore it is not working. This episode alone brought Hu in my mind to a high-c tier, to a high b-tier because there is nothing I love more in this world than fictional women being awful. And now that I have that all typed out, I can't help but realize that this sounds very familiar...

Oh! That's right!

...Man Hu, I get that it's across the color wheel, but you really like to foil with people in red. Yeah, I think that Acevi and Huco are meant to be parallels of each other relationship wise. Both of them feature someone (Ace and Hu) projecting a certain identity onto a stranger (Levi and Nico) to satisfy their own emotional needs and their reactions when those fantasies crumble beneath them. The dynamic between Ace and Hu is so delicious to me and I think should be explored more in the fandom. Not just because they somehow manage to give divorced spouses vibes despite one of the two being gay, but because I think the way that they foil, how they are different in contrast with how they're similar in typical DRDT fashion, adds so much to both of their characters and their relationships with the others. And I'm also glad that I at least have two more, count-em two, more parallels between Nico and Levi. I will keep spreading my Levco agenda until the day I die.

Okay but, though I've kind of been taking the piss out of Hu during this section, I do actually feel very bad for her. Especially if Eden is the culprit, because Hu and Eden have shown to be close on multiple occasions, and I could not imagine witnessing the gruesome execution of someone you love after pretty much dealing with two betrayals back-to-back. And I guess since we're here I should clarify that I do not think Hu, or anyone else except the two suspects we land on in this episode, are responsible for Arei's murder. Third Party Theory seems to hinge entirely on the idea that someone other than Nico attempted to kill Ace, and as I've said before I don't think that's the case. And given the fact that we have at least 40 minutes left of the overall case, I can't really see a way from a writer's perspective to throw in such a major final twist with an entirely different character without it feeling rushed. I'm sure DT-Dev could pull it off, but just on concept, not sure how it could work and also if Eden really is the culprit, Hu is 1000% going to try and take her place as the optimistic mood-lifter, and I need to see that outside of my imagination

There isn't much else for me to add, really, part from the fact that I am very excited to see how Hu's character progresses and how her relationships with the cast progress. ... ...hey can we count Hu and Nico as toxic yur--

Ace

Funny thing, I originally was not going to give Ace his own section in this post. But I decided I would anyhow for two reasons 1. Ace is a very fun character to analyze And 2. I get to once again talk about how much of a fucking liar this man is lmao

(x) Ace: Who’s gonna stick up for me, huh? No one. Because I have a spine and I don’t need other people to lie to me constantly to keep me happy.

[Pictured: Doesn't need other people to lie to him constantly to keep him happy]

(x) Nico: What else should I say? Ace: W— "What else should I say"?? Ace: You tried to murder me. You fucking tried to murder me! And after all's said and done, you can't even say something as simple as "sorry"?!

I love this jockey the best when he is gaslighting himself. We obviously know that Ace does, in fact, need people to lie to him to keep him happy. And I don't just mean that in the context of Levi and Nico. Ace has a very antagonized view of everyone in the cast

(x) Ace: -but now they apparently also have a fucking defense brigade to shield them from even having to think about the fact that they're a murderer.

the only person defending them was Hu

And that view of his classmates, to me anyway, is very intentionally cultivated by Ace himself. He is very aware that how he's behaving is wrong, and he is clearly not happy about it

(x) Ace: You think I act like this for fun, and then I go to bed and sleep soundly at night, you dumb piece of shit?

Ace doesn't like the fact that he is being rude to otherwise innocent people, but at the same time, he knows that any of these innocent people could stab him in the back without a second thought, like Levi. So Ace demonizes the cast in his head so that he can emotionally distance himself from them, and as such, will feel less bad about treating them like shit. As a certain indie game that had its nine year anniversary once said: The more you distance yourself, the less you will hurt. The more easily you can bring yourself to hurt others.

Ace does need people to lie to him to keep him happy. Which brings me to his role in this whole scene with Nico which just- I love. So much.

It is so, so funny to me that Ace is putting this pressure on Nico to give an apology. And why is that? Ace treats both Nico and Levi in pretty much the same way, incredibly volatile even more so than the rest of the cast. And that makes a lot of sense given his relationship with both characters and how both of them have threatened his safety. But there is one key difference between his interactions with both of these people

(x) Levi: Ace, I already said— Ace: "Sorry" won't cut it. You know that's just a word you say, right? You think that saying two syllables is going to make me forget how you acted yesterday at that trial?

(x) Ace: You tried to murder me. You fucking tried to murder me! And after all's said and done, you can't even say something as simple as "sorry"?!

With Levi, he repeatedly denies and mocks his apologies. With Nico, it's almost like Ace wants them to apologize to him. But why is that? Ace certainly cares less about what Nico thinks compared to Levi, so why does he necessarily care whether or not Nico apologizes to him? You could say it's because the severity of what both of these people did to Ace, but to me personally? I think Ace just wants this all to end. Nico's murder attempt on him, the scar it left him, it was the perfect kick in the ribs to everything Ace had become since the events of Chapter 1. It confirmed to him that not only was his fear that everyone is out to get him, that he's going to be next after Xander and Min, completely justified to have. But also that his efforts to appear tough and threatening to prevent that fear from becoming reality were not only null, but thrown right back in his face.

(x) Ace: You know… Heh. I've always wondered which is worse, dying young or living a long shitty life of suffering. But it turns out neither of those options are as bad as this.

He is currently at his lowest possible point. At this point, the least that he wants is for Nico to provide him with some form of closure, so that he can put that moment where his guts were spilled on the floor to rest. But Nico isn't providing him that closure, they refuse to. And with Ace now being suspected for Arei's murder, regardless of if he survives this chapter or dies with it, I think he is finally going to break down. That hidden quote of his is fast approaching. I already know.

Rose

Rose is a character that, though I love dearly and believe she is one of the most strongly written of Despair Time's cast which is saying a lot, always somehow manages to fade into the background for me. But this episode bringing her to the forefront and giving us some extra character development from her is something I loved a lot.

For one, her clear and open betrayal towards Nico's actions was very upsetting to me, especially when you take into account that Nico asking Rose to teach them how to paint was probably the first time Rose has ever been asked to paint something for someone without a contract involved. I can imagine the idea of it must've been a breath of fresh air for her, and for it to only result in another red string in Nico's murder plan had to have been crushing.

But what's possibly even more crushing is her monologue after David gets frustrated with her, because...

(x) Rose: I know I'm supposed to remember everything. I know I'm supposed to be smart. I know I'm supposed to be helpful. Rose: Yet I'm not. Rose: I… I'm sorry for being useless. Maybe if I tried harder, if I just got over myself—

Wow this woman really does see herself as a commodity that only exists to be used by other people, doesn't she?

Something I've always appreciated about Rose's character is how it commentates on the subject of big corporations seeing art as content instead of something that was the product of someone pouring their heart and soul into a canvas. And how that mindset kills the desire for artists to create. And it is so fascinating seeing how that mindset reflects how Rose sees herself as a person.

She's one of the few characters in the cast that I can never really get a read on when it comes to where her character arc could be going, but I am very excited to see where DT-Dev takes her, even more-so with this development.

Teruko

I am like, 9999% sure this sprite is the first time she has smiled throughout this entire chapter. I am so happy for her.

Teruko, as always, stays being Best Girl™, and I absolutely adore the development given to her as well. Her realizing that her attempts to over-correct by isolating herself and not receiving help from anyone not only resulted in her getting hurt, but those around her getting hurt as well. And the fact that that's what leads her to coming to this conclusion really goes to show that, despite everything, she cares about these dumbfucks so much. And this is only taken further by her decision to trust Eden despite (HOW I INTERPRET IT) already knowing that Eden is a more likely culprit than Ace. She is choosing to trust her, regardless of if she'll regret it. And I honestly think that, regardless if Eden is the culprit or not, regardless if Teruko backslides, I think the fact that she got the courage to trust Eden at all is going to stick with her. I don't really have much else to say, really. Uhh... Teruko and Rose were kinda fruity this episode, I dunno.

David

[Sighs] This man provides us with a new headache every single episode and I love/hate him so much for it. So like...basically everyone else who watched this episode, I was confused as fuck watching whatever the hell David was pulling for the last 18 minutes of the episode. But now that I have time to think about it, I think I have a pretty stable idea. So, let's get into it.

Firstly

(x) David: Because I'm actually the first person to see the body.

Now, most people are immediately brushing this off as David lying to fuck things up again. But I think that a lot of people are forgetting two things 1. David is not a compulsive liar. He doesn't just tell lies for no/little reason behind them. The lies that he tells all have reasoning and inner logic to support them. 2. There really isn't any evidence suggesting that he couldn't had seen Arei's corpse before everyone else.

So though this point is mostly speculation, I think that David is telling the truth (sorry if this seems like an asspull, there is literally five more hours until the next episode comes out I need to speed things up)

But that's not really what I want to talk about in this section anyway, it's everything that comes after this that I want to talk about.

(x) David: All I want is for Teruko to distrust others.

...So. I think David is lying off his ass when he says that this is why he is doing this. And my reasoning for why I think that is pretty simple... Why would he care?

Like, yeah given the fact that David more than likely has Teruko's secret, he has every right to suspect that she might be affiliated with the death game, and also probably wants her dead. But...what does that have to do with Teruko's distrust in others? Not much. I think this sentence is David lying about why he is doing this to keep his true intentions underwraps. But what are those true intentions?

I can answer that pretty easily as well. David's whole argument in this part of the episode is the idea that Eden is not exempt from being the culprit. He suspects that she is the one behind Arei's murder, and I don't think that's helped by the seed planted in his head by Arei that even Eden must be responsible for the harm of someone. And well...I think we know how exactly David feels about the culprit behind Arei's murder

(x) David: Ahaha. It's just so foolish. David: For someone to take advantage of Arei like that… David: It's absolutely unforgivable. All she wanted was to change. David: What a reprehensible person this killer is. I look forward to seeing their painful execution.

And that leads me to what I think David is truly trying to do here: I think he is trying to get Eden voted for.

That is why he wants Teruko to believe him, and is using her trust issues against her to do so. He's seen the first trial, he saw how Teruko was able to convict Min as the culprit and convince the others to vote for her too. He wants her to do the same thing again, but for Eden. Really, it's a win-win for him. If Eden is the culprit like he suspects, then he gets to witness the unforgivable culprit get their just deserts. If Eden isn't the culprit, then everyone ends up getting executed. Which is, y'know, that other thing he really wants.

That's my personal theory on what David was trying to do here. It's not perfect, but it'll do for now. I love you, Mr. David Chiem. Please keep being confusing.

Eden

...So yeah, if you've been paying any attention to this post, I do still think Eden is the culprit. I also think during the scene with her and Teruko she is very desperate and wants to live and as a result, may have sipped a small tiny bit of the manipulation juice. But I will get to that in a bit First of all though, I absolutely loved the scene with Teruko and Eden. There is something about all of their scenes that just resonates with me in a way I can't describe, and this one is no different. The way it is shot, with the half-and-half and then the closeup on both of their expressions, and the fucking HUG CG? Luucarii and Zel both did an amazing job bringing the scene to life with their voices, and the choice to use the same OST as the kitchen scene in CH2-3 was fucking evil, especially because of what I'm about to say. All around, a fantastically orchestrated and emotional scene, I would expect no less from DT-Dev and their team.

But now it's time to talk Eden!Culprit. This is not something I should have to clarify if you aren't stupid, but I think before I really go into it I should say that I do not think Eden is an inherently malicious character, and I think she feels horrible for what she has possibly done. I also think she wants to live, like every bundle of pixels masquerading as a human. She can feel guilt for her actions and also indulge in a bit of gaslight gatekeep girlbossing. Min already proved that those two things can be simultaneous. With that out of the way... I do think that Eden is slightly manipulating Teruko here. And there is a very big reason why I think that is because of something @thebadjoe pointed out in their theory post

(x) Eden: Teruko, relationships aren't transactional. It's not that I did something good for you that you should do something good for me.

[11 episodes later]

(x) Eden: Please, Teruko… You’re my friend, aren’t you? Eden: Friends help each other…. So please, help me…

...Eden? Darling? I thought you said that relationships weren't transactional. You can't simply change your principles because they're getting closer to the truth. Putting the fact that Teruko never even considered her a friend to begin with on the shelf for right now, these two lines from Eden directly go against each other. Saying that relationships aren't transactional, and then saying that Teruko should help her because she's her friend. I think Eden knows that she is basically backed into a corner. There is no evidence suggesting that she couldn't had done it, and David is turning the tide in a way that is leading others to begin suspecting her. And just as Arei said...

(x) Arei: -you're pathetic and weak, and you always need to rely on others to get by.

Eden's is too overcome with emotion to defend herself properly, so she comes to Teruko to defend her for her. And when Teruko initially refuses, she becomes desperate. Using their relationship so that Teruko will believe her and trust her.

I don't think Eden wants to do this, but I don't think she knows what else to do, and is terrified and just wants this trial to be over. Even if it means treating her and Teruko's relationship like it's transactional. And Teruko, ultimately, gives into this idea.

(x) Teruko: Don’t… get me wrong. This isn’t out of kindness or pity or anything else. This is only because you helped me in the last trial.

(teruko is most likely simplifying her thought-process, I think she does genuinely care for eden and wants to trust her. But the idea of relationships as transactions isn't one inherently new to her, so I do think this is partially the truth.)

And I think the fact that Teruko does agree to help Eden is why Eden goes in for the hug. This is where we take that point of "Teruko never agreed to be friends with Eden" off the shelf

Eden knows that Teruko is choosing to not be her friend, despite considering Teruko as a friend. But I think in this moment, Eden thinks that Teruko finally considers her as a friend, someone she is willing to extend her hand to. And even if this day is her final one, I think Eden will appreciate forever.

Extra Thoughts !! - TERUKO SAID IT!! SHE SAID THE WORD!! THE T WORD!! I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR THAT FROM HER!! another one to cross off the bingo card babyyyy - that aside, as always the voice work for this episode was fucking phenomenal. I already mentioned Luucarii and Zel's performances, but Swords and Arakachi did amazingly too. Such an amazing frosting on top of the already great storytelling.

(x) Eden: Arei is… She could have been my friend! Why would I kill her??

- maybe I'm reading too deep into it, but I honestly think this is the closest we've gotten to direct confirmation that Eden thought Arei was full of shit when she said she wanted to change. Like...she literally corrects herself. Why the fuck did she correct herself. - this isn't something I usually compliment, but the music-choice in this episode was amazing as well. Every song chosen suited the situation and the rising tension, and all of them were fucking bops. - I also adored the new sprites, as I always do. Especially Nico's

Predictions for CH2-15 - I'll be honest and say I have none. At least other than the obvious, that being that there's 100% gonna be an Ace VS Eden scrum debate.

Conclusion

This episode was a fantastic way to lead into what will probably be the last episode of the trial. I cannot wait to see what's cooking come CH2-15, which is in... [looks at my conveniently placed watch] THREE HOURS?! WHAT THE FU-

UPDATED SWEAR STATISTICS CH2-14

UPDATED BINGO CARD

[canirove]

The invinsible princess | Chapter 3

“First times”

Chapter 2 | Chapter 4 (coming out next Friday - October 4)

Masterlist

“Knock, knock.”

“Mum, hey.”

“May I come in?” she says from my room's door.

“Sure” I smile. 

“So…” she says, sitting down on my bed. “You are leaving again.”

“It's just for a few weeks, mum.”

“A month. And then it's the summer holidays and you are also going away with your friends and I don't know when I will see you again.”

“Don't be that dramatic, mum” I laugh. 

“The house is gonna be so empty without you and your sister…” she continues . “Though I guess we should be getting used to this. To you spending more time away and following your own path. You aren't our little girls anymore, you are women now.”

“Don’t let dad hear you saying that” I chuckle.

“I won't” she smiles. “But Sofía… Is there anything going on?”

“Uh?”

“Lately you've been… I don't know. Different.”

“Different?” I ask as I keep packing my bag.

“Yes, like… I don't know how to explain it, but you look different. Happier.”

“Well, I am happy.”

“Because you aren't invisible anymore?”

“What?” 

“Sofía…” my mum says, taking a deep breath. “I know that's how you've been feeling all these years. As if you weren't important to us, as if everything was for your sister and we were ignoring you. As if you didn't matter, as if you were just a second choice. But you do matter, Sofía. You do.”

“I know” I whisper, playing with the necklace Pedri gave me over Christmas. Touching the little banana charm has become something I do mostly without thinking when I am nervous or feeling a bit anxious, something that helps me relax.  

“And now… I don't know. You've spent most part of this year constantly going to Barcelona and staying with your aunt and your cousins, looking the happiest I've seen you in a long time when you come back, and I can't help but feel like… like…”

“Like?”

“Like they are giving you the love you deserve. The love your father and I have failed at giving you.”

“You haven't failed me, mum” I say, looking at her.

“Haven't we? Because I can't remember the last time I saw you smiling like this. Well, I do. When Spain won the Euros” she chuckles. “You had the same sparkle in your eyes after the boys came to visit us.”

“The same sparkle?” I laugh.

“Cheesy, I know. But it's the truth” she shrugs. “Both things aren't related, are they?”

“What?”

“Your aunt Cristina has a theory but… Nah. Forget about it.”

“A theory?” I ask her. “What theory?”

“Well, she thinks you are dating someone in Barcelona, and that he may be either one of your cousin's teammates or a Barça player from the football team. One Irene seems to fancy.”

“What?” I laugh, hoping that my reaction will hide the fact that my aunt is right. Kind of.

Because Irene actually fancies a guy who plays handball with her brother, and since I owe her for helping me when I meet with Pedri, now I'm doing the same for her and accompanying her to his games.

“You two go watch your cousin play handball all the time and also go to the Camp Nou pretty often. And then you alone disappear most weekends and don't stop by the house. You say you are meeting with friends, but she suspects it's because you are staying with a boy.”

“That's… I…”

“Ferran!” my mum suddenly says.

“Ferran?”

“That's the boy Irene apparently likes. Are you dating him? I saw you looking his way when they visited us. He is quite handsome.”

“I'm not dating him, mum” I chuckle. “And I wasn't looking his way.” Though I was, because Pedri was obviously next to him. 

“I wouldn't mind if you were” she shrugs. 

“Really? He is… a football player.”

“And?” she says. “I was just a tv news presenter when I met your father.”

“Yes, but… But you had a degree. Most football players have struggled to finish high school.”

“Sofía, as long as you love each other and you have a healthy relationship, I don't care about what the person you choose does for a living. But whatever they do has to be legal, of course” she says with a playful smile.

“Of course” I reply, also smiling. 

“Does this mean there is a boy, then? Is your aunt right?”

“I… ummm…” I say, back to playing with my necklace.

“Got it” she winks. “Am I right about what I was saying earlier too?”

“Uh?”

“About you going to Barcelona so often not just because of a boy, Sofía. I think you are doing it because of me and your father. Because here with us you feel alone and lonely. Because here it is all about your sister and getting her ready for her future. And when we do something together as a family, like going to an event the four of us together for example, it also ends up being about her. So I understand it, Sofía. I understand if you've felt left behind and invisible, and now in Barcelona you don't anymore.”

And the thing is… that she's right. That in Barcelona I've found what I didn't have in Madrid, and not only because of Pedri. 

My aunt Cristina (my dad's sister) has basically adopted me and has been taking care of me as if I was another of her kids (she has four, Irene and her three older brothers). She has set a room just for me, and a box with things she knows I like (like my favourite chocolate or some of my favourite skincare products), is waiting for me in my bed every time I go back. And every day I share at least one meal with her, Irene, her brothers or all of them at the same time, something I'm not used to and that I've always missed back in Madrid. The laughs, the bickering between my cousins, the catching up about how your day has been… With my parents it mostly is silence or talk about work, even when Leonor is at home.

And speaking of work, I've found myself working on something I actually like, which isn't easy being who I am, invisible or not. 

My aunt takes care of some charities and foundations created and sponsored by the crown, and while Irene is at uni, Pedri in training and I'm bored at home, I usually accompany her to her meetings and help her with everything she may need as some kind of assistant. That's how I've found myself taking care of the foundation named after my sister, one that is focused on young people and helping them in anything they may need. And I… love it. I love it all, from coming up with new ideas for charity events, to meeting the kids and teenagers who are part of the foundation and spending time with them and helping them with whatever they may need, to even doing all the paperwork. 

Last time I was in Barcelona for example, I helped a group of kids with their homework, and once we were finished we spent most of the afternoon playing together, all of them going back home with a big smile on their faces. Them and I, to be honest. 

On this trip, among other things, I'm going back for an event with Barça's foundation that I've managed to organize thanks to Pedri's help, and I am so looking forward to it. You should have seen the kids’ faces when I told them about it, they couldn't believe it. I can't wait to see their reaction when he actually shows up and surprises them. 

And now that I mention him again, things are going so well between us… I sometimes have to pinch myself to make sure I'm not dreaming, that everything I'm living and feeling with and for him is real. That I'm… that I'm in love with him even if I haven't found the guts to tell him just yet. 

What I have had to guts for, tho, is to say yes when he asked me to be his girlfriend, and he did it just a couple of weeks ago while he was away with the national team in Germany. 

Since it was the first official game Spain was playing after winning the Euros and Germany kind of is special for us, I went to watch him play. It wasn't an official visit, so as usual, going unnoticed was the easiest thing in the world.  

After the game we managed to have a sneaky date, and it was perfect even if we didn't leave my hotel room. Carlos was the best and helped us with everything, and even though he has to deal with us constantly being cheesy and too touchy when we are together out and about, I think he is starting to get used to it. To us being together.

“I'm sorry, Sofía. I'm sorry we've made you feel like that. That we've ignored you and neglected you the way we have.”

“Mum, I…”

“But we love you, Sofía. You know we do, don't you?”

“Of course I do, mum! I've never doubted that.”

“Then… do you forgive us?” she says, getting up and walking towards where I am standing. 

“There is nothing to forget, mum” I say, taking her hands on mine. “I know you were doing the best you could. And being invisible isn't that bad sometimes” I shrug.

“You aren't invisible, Sofía” she says, squeezing my hands. “You are a remarkable young woman, one I am very proud of. One both your father and I are very proud of.”

“Thank you, mum.”

“Ugh, come here” she says before hugging me. 

“Mum, can you… Can you squeeze me a bit less tightly, please? I can't breathe.”

“Oh, sorry” she says, still not letting go of me. “See how you aren't invisible?”

“Yeah” I chuckle.

“Though I hope you aren't using that excuse to do things you shouldn't. Like sneaking out to see that boy…”

“Mum…”

“Oh, look at the colour of your face” she laughs. “Will you tell me more about him if things get serious between you two?”

“I will.”

“Good” she smiles. “Now, do you need any help packing? You know I'm an expert. And maybe we could put on some music while we do it? I'm so out of the loop with what you girls like... Last thing I remember is One Direction, and I believe they stopped making music together years ago.”

“You are a bit out of date, yes.”

“Then… May I help you pack?”

“You may” I smile. “Thank you, mum.”

“You're welcome” she says, kissing my cheek.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

“Look at him. He never pays attention to his hair, and now he's been looking at himself in the mirror for the past five minutes” Ferran chuckles.

“His girlfriend is coming to see him play. He has to look royally good” Fermín says.

“I can hear you, you know?” Pedri says, trying to tame a lock of hair that keeps sticking out. He should not be bothering so much with it, he's about to go into the pitch and after a couple of runs it'll be ruined. But Sofía is on the stands, and he wants to look good for her even if she always says that she prefers his hair when it is messy.

“She is still coming to my birthday party, isn't she?” Fermín says.

“She is. She actually got you a present” Pedri says, giving up with his hair.

“A royal one?”

“Will you ever stop with those jokes?” Pedri says, rolling his eyes.

“Ummm… no” Fermín smiles.

“Don't worry, Pedri” Ferran says, putting an arm around his shoulders and messing his hair with his other hand. “He will go all shy when he meets her and won't say a word to her the whole night, you'll see.”

“I already met her when we went to the palace after the Euros, you know?” Fermín says.

“Yeah, and you weren't able to look up her shoes” Ferran laughs. “So don't worry about him, Pedri. Just focus on the game and scoring a goal to dedicate to your princess.”

“Ferran!” 

“What? Many people call their girlfriends princess as a cute nickname” he shrugs. “No one has to know that yours actually is a real one” he smirks.

“Yeah, well.”

No one from the team knew about Sofía. No one but Ferran, Fermín and Gavi, of course. And Pedri was expecting to end the season like that, with not having to tell anyone else. 

They only had four more games left. Four games, and he would be able to go on holidays with Sofía. 

They had booked a little house in the south in France to be alone and celebrate their anniversary since they had picked the date they met at the Euros for it, and he couldn't wait to go there and just disconnect. To spend his days waking up and going to bed next to her, cooking their meals together and eating them in the garden while they talked about the most random things, going for walks together without worrying about someone recognising them, to watch the sunset together on the beach, and basically enjoy her company and… well. Her. 

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

“Guys, finally! Where were you?” Fermín asks us when we walk into his house. Or shouts, because the music is so loud and there are so many people…

“There was traffic” Pedri says.

“What? I left after you did and the roads were the same as always after a game” Gavi says, joining us.

“And you left before Ferran, and he already is here” Fermín adds.

“Is he? We should probably go say hello to him, you know how he gets if we…”

“You are not going anywhere until you tell us where you were” Fermín says, stopping Pedri.

“We… umm…”

“We had to wait until Carlos had checked the party and made sure it was safe for me” I say.

“What?” both Gavi and Fermín say, looking my way.

“It's the usual procedure” I shrug. The usual… with my sister. With me things are more chill. “He says thank you for making it a party with no phones, by the way. It makes his life easier.” Which isn't a lie.

“I… umm… you're welcome?” 

“Anyway, why don't we get ourselves a drink? What do you want, Sofía?” Pedri asks me, trying to escape from his friends. 

He's been worried about them not behaving properly in front of me since the day I confirmed I would be attending the party. When I've met them on their own it's been fine, they all are really nice guys. And Fermín actually got a bit teary when I gave him his birthday present earlier after the game, which was really cute.

But Pedri fears that once they all are together and have drank a bit, they may get too cocky and say something they shouldn't in front of me. But not because he is hiding things from me or anything like that. Our phone conversations are so long that by now we basically know everything about the other when it comes to boys, girls, relationships, crushes and hook ups. He worries more about… embarrassing things and stories. 

“Look who is finally here!” Ferran says behind us, wrapping an arm around my shoulders and the other around Pedri's. “What took you so long?”

“Sofía’s bodyguard had to check if the house was safe” Gavi says.

“What?” Ferran laughs. “Did you seriously believe that?”

“It is the truth.”

“And I'm blonde, Pedri” Ferran laughs again. “Guys, haven't you looked at them?”

“What do you mean?” Gavi asks with a confused look.

“Swollen lips, the neck of Pedri's t-shirt is a bit crooked, Sofía isn't wearing lipstick and she was when we met them at the stadium… These two were late because they were making out in his car. Maybe doing more than that” Ferran smirks.

“No!” Fermin gasps, his eyes going wide. “You guys are late to my birthday party because you were too busy fucking?”

“Language, bro!” Gavi says, elbowing him and nodding towards me.

“You can swear in front of me, Gavi. It's ok. You should hear the things I say sometimes” I chuckle. “And we weren't fucking. We just had a quick make out session because my boyfriend here scored an amazing goal and we had to celebrate” I smile, looking at Pedri. “Besides, sex in his car isn't too comfortable.”

“Sofía!” Pedri gasps. Now he is the one whose eyes are about to pop from their sockets, his cheeks turning bright red.

“What? It's the truth, you've said it yourself” I shrug.

“You are lucky he got rid of the Mini before he met you” Ferran laughs. “Because if you find this car uncomfortable…”

“And I'm lucky I already got my driver's license and I don't need Pedri taking me everywhere” Gavi says.” Having to go training with him every day in that car knowing that you two have… you know…”

“Can we please talk about something else? Like, we are here to celebrate Fermín getting older, not to discuss details about my personal life” Pedri says, letting go of my hand and crossing his arms over his chest. He looks so pissed… 

“Exactly!” Fermín says. “Let's go get us some shots to celebrate. Follow me.”

“Pedri…” I say as the others start walking away. But he doesn't hear me… or doesn't want to. And I'm pretty sure he dodged my hand when I tried to touch his arm. “Great” I sigh before following him.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

“To the birthday boy!” Ferran says once we all have our tiny glasses.

“To me!” Fermín smiles. 

“Pedri, where are you going?” I ask him when he finishes his shot and gives Gavi his glass, walking away and completely ignoring me. Again.

“Oh… trouble in paradise…” Fermín chuckles. “Ouch! Why did you hit me, bro?”

“Do you seriously have to ask?” Ferran says, nodding towards me.

“Oh, umm… Sorry, Sofía.”

“It's ok. I'm… I'm gonna go talk with him. Take this” I say, giving my glass to Ferran.

“Sofía, do you want me to go with you?” he offers.

“This is my mess, Ferran. But thank you” I smile before leaving him and the others and starting to look for Pedri among all the guests. How can Fermín know so many people?

“Hey, I know you!” a boy says, stopping me when I make it to the garden. 

“I don't think so.”

“Of course I do! You are the hot princess!”

“The what?”

“Yeah… Bro, what is the name of the princess?” 

“Leonor?” one of his friends says, not even bothering to look at me.

“Nah, not the one with an old lady name. The other one, the hot one!”

“Oh, Sofía.”

“Yes, Sofía! You are her, aren't you?” he smiles.

I am the hot princess? What? Since when?

“I'm afraid you are mistaken me with her. Besides, what would she be doing at a party like this?” I chuckle.

“Yeah, you are probably right… You still are really hot, tho” he smirks.

“Thank you. But now if you'll excuse me, I need to go find my boyfriend” I say, giving him my best fake smile, the one I usually use at boring events. 

“Burn!” his friend laughs, some other people around us joining him. 

“Boyfriends can break up, you know?” he says, ignoring them.

“I know” I sigh. Mine may be thinking about that right now. “Anyway, it was nice meeting you. And thank you for the compliment.”

“You're welcome. And princess or not, you know where to find me!” he says as I walk away.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

“Ferran… Fer… Ferran” I say, tapping on his shoulder. “Ferran!”

“Shit!” he says, turning around. “Sofía?”

“Hi, yes. Sorry for interrupting” I smile at the girl he was making out with. “But I can't find him.”

“What?”

“I can't find… you know” I whisper, not saying Pedri's name just in case the girl has recognised me. “I've looked everywhere and I can't find him. And I don't want to call Carlos and ask him if he has seen him leave, because I know the look he will give me, and I can't deal with my bodyguard telling me I told you right now.”

“You have a bodyguard?” the girl asks.

“That's how she calls her older brother” Ferran quickly says. “But are you sure you have looked everywhere for him?”

“Yes” I nod. “I fucked up, Ferran. He got mad and now he has left me and…”

“Sofía, hey, no. We are gonna find him and you will fix things.”

“I hope so. Because I… I… you know.” I love him.

“I know” he says. “He does too.”

He… what?

“Do you mind if I go help my friend find her boyfriend? They had a little argument and… you know. But I'll come back and I will make it up to you. I promise” Ferran says to the girl with a smile that could make anyone fall at his feet. 

“Ok” the girl says before whispering something in his ear. “Don't take too long.”

“I won't, I promise. Let's go, Sofía” he says, taking my hand and basically dragging me behind him.

“What did she tell you?” 

“Oh, you don't want to know, Sofía. You don't want to know…”

“Ferran, I may be a princess, but I'm not a delicate flower like the ones you read about in fairytales.”

“That's what I've gathered after some things Pedri has told me” he says as he suddenly stops, making me almost crash into his back before he starts walking again, leading us upstairs. “But I am a gentleman, Sofía. What she said will stay between her and I.”

“Sure” I snort.

“Ok, fine. I may tell the boys some details about it. And… this way” he says as we go up another set of stairs.

“Ferran, where are we going?”

“I assume you checked all the rooms on that floor while looking for Pedri.”

“I did, yes. And saw things I didn't want to see.”

“Been there” he chuckles. “Did you come to this floor too?” 

“I did. But all the rooms were empty.”

“Did you go into the attic?”

“There is an attic?”

“There is” he says, opening a door I hadn't seen earlier since it has no handle. It is one of those kind of hidden on the wall, one you have to push to open. “Fermín basically uses it as a storage room, but it has a balcony with amazing views and Pedri has always loved it. So if he hasn't left the party yet, he's up there.”

“Aren't you coming with me?”

“It is an attic but there are no spiders if that's what you are afraid of. Pedri would never go there if that was the case” he chuckles. “And this is something you need to do on your own, Sofía.”

“I guess, yes” I sigh.

“Good luck” Ferran says, giving my hand an encouraging squeeze.

“Thank you” I smile. “And good luck to you too. Though I think you won't be needing it with that girl.”

“We'll see” he says before walking away.

“Ok, Sofía. You can do this” I say, taking a deep breath and going up the stairs.

Like Ferran said, the attic basically is a big storage room, boxes of gym machines, shoes and random bits and bobs scattered everywhere. At the end of it there is a big glass door that lets in enough light to illuminate the room without having to turn it on, and that door is currently open, letting the music and the voices from the party come in.

As I get closer to it, I can see someone sitting on the floor, his legs hanging between the bars of the balcony's railing. 

“Pedri?” I call.

“Bloody hell!” he screams, hitting his legs as he tries to get up.

“Sorry, I'm sorry. Are you alright?”

“I may wake up with a huge bruise on my knee tomorrow, but I'm fine” he says, massaging his leg. “What are you doing here, Sofía?”

“I… I was looking for you.”

“To embarrass me a bit more in front of my friends?”

“What? No! I just… I… I'm sorry.”

“I was looking forward to this party, you know?" he says after a few seconds in silence. "Actually, we both were. We had agreed on wanting to spend some time with the boys and have fun like any people our age would do, relax a bit before the end of the season and before we can go on holidays just the two of us. And as you also know, my only worry was that the boys could start behaving like idiots and saying things that they shouldn't, embarrassing me in front of you. I've spent the whole week telling them to behave, that if they actually were my friends, they would do it for me. Little did I know, that it would be you the one embarrassing me in front of them.”

“C'mon, Pedri. It was just a little bit of banter between friends.”

“Banter that made me uncomfortable, Sofía” he says, standing up. “You know how much they've been teasing me about you and our relationship since we started seeing each other. And you also know that even if they aren't doing it to be mean, it bothers me. Because I may be a worldwide known football player, but you are Spain's fucking princess. Yes, the second in line, but still a princess. And sometimes I can't help but feel… I don't know. Small next to you.”

“Pedri…”

“I know what you are going to say. That I'm not small. At least not in the way I'm thinking” he chuckles, his smile quickly disappearing. “But just as you struggle with feeling like your whole life you've been invisible to everyone despite me telling you that that's not true, I struggle with this. With sometimes feeling like I'm… not enough for you. And those insecurities came back earlier when we were with the boys. Because you are comfortable and confident enough to openly talk about such personal things with anyone, but I'm not. One thing is doing it between us, in private, and another with and in front of my friends. Like, it takes ages for Ferran to get something out of me and I know I can trust him with my life!” Pedri says, running a hand through his hair. “And I thought you knew that and understood it, Sofía. So when I saw you talking about it with them… Well. It hurt.”

“I'm sorry, Pedri. I truly truly am. Because I do know you feel that way and I understand it. I do, I swear. I should have known better and just shut up. But I didn't and I kept talking because I'm an idiot. I am a fucking idiot” I say, kicking an empty shoe box. “And I'm not trying to excuse myself but I just… I don't know. I guess I was just too excited because we were doing something normal with your friends. And then you have to add the game and your goal, the make out session in the car and… I don't know. It's like I was drunk in happiness and I got carried away and… I'm sorry.”

“Yeah” he whispers, neither of us saying another word for what feels like an eternity.

“I guess I should go back home” I finally say. “Carlos will probably be glad when he sees me. You know he didn't agree with any of this. With us.”

“Wait, what?”

“He didn't like the idea of us coming to a party with so many people, and he's never liked the idea of us together. He's started to get used to it, but since that misunderstanding when we met, I know he has never fully trusted you. So I guess he'll be happy knowing that it is over.”

“Over? What are you talking about, Sofía?”

“We have broken up, haven't we?”

“What?” Pedri laughs.

“Isn't that what just happened?”

“Of course not!” he laughs again.

“Then… umm…”

“Sofía, we haven't broken up” he says, taking my hands on his. “This has just been our first real and proper fight as a couple.”

“Wait, really?”

“Yeah.”

“Just that?”

“Just that” he chuckles.

“Then you aren't… I mean… Are you…”

“I'm a bit pissed and also disappointed, but that doesn't mean I want to break up with you. It only means we need to keep working on our relationship. Keep talking and telling each other how we feel, what we think, what worries us.”

“Oh... I see.”

“So clever and bold with some things, and so naïve when it comes to others, Sofía…” he says with a teasing smile.

“Could say the same about you, Pedro.”

“You could, yes” he laughs. “Looks like we are made for each other.”

“Yeah” I say with a shy smile. Here I am once again, feeling my face getting warmer by the second just because he has said or done something cute. “There was something Ferran told me before he helped me find you…”

“He helped you find me?”

“He did. I had been looking for you everywhere and couldn't find you, started to freak out, and had to interrupt him while he had his tongue down a girl's throat.”

“Wow” Pedri laughs. “Did she at least take it well?”

“She did. And if she had doubts, the smile he gave her sent them all away.”

“Oh, I know that smile. It is a dangerous one that has broken many hearts. But what did he tell you?”

“He… I mean… I implied something, and he said that so did you.”

“What?”

“I… Ok” I say, taking a deep breath. “I basically told him that I love you but without using those words, and he said that you…”

“I love you too, Sofía” Pedri smiles.

“You… You do?”

“I do” he nods. 

“That's… umm… ok” I say with a nervous laugh.

“Too many emotions in a short period of time, uh?” he says, moving one hand to cup my face, his thumb caressing my cheek. A cheek that is obviously burning.

“Definitely. I've gone from thinking we were breaking up to telling you I love you for the first time and you saying it back in what, five minutes?”

“Something like that.”

“Fermín said that his birthday party was going to be an unforgettable one, and he wasn't wrong. He probably had something different in mind, but… Did I tell you that some random guy recognised me? I obviously told him he was mistaken, that what would Princess Sofía be doing here. But he said that I was the hot sister. Me! And he also said that Leonor has an old lady name, which is pretty funny and…”

“And you are rambling, Sofía.”

“Am I?”

“Yep. And even though that guy was right when he told you that you are the hot princess, proving once again what I always tell you about being invisible… You, my lady, also are rambling” Pedri smiles, the fact that he has used his nickname for me making all my doubts and fears disappear.

“Another thing we have in common, then” I say. “You know, you may be right, and we may be made for each other.”

“We are made for each other” he corrects me. 

“Even if I sometimes I'm an idiot and have a bit of a big mouth?”

“Even so” he chuckles. “I love you, Sofía.”

“I love you too, Pedri” I say before kissing him.

[felondese]

here are my guesses for how they're doing this:

morrigan has been taken over by mythal to the point where her personal development and history pre-mythal don't matter all that much, so no references to her potential child or partner. we're going to see mythal in morrigan shape which I'm okay with for elgar'nan-whooping-purposes

we're just going to pretend that well of sorrows thing didn't happen shhh. i think they'd rather just sweep that one under the rug considering there wasn't even real solas reaction dialogue with him in your party (he mildly disagrees with you drinking but he also doesn't want morrigan to), just his seemingly random ass outrage back at skyhold after the fact. they really fumbled this one already, i think, so probably for the best to just ignore it, even if that's a shame because it's so chewy. plus the well is essentially morrigan's now anyway whether she drank or not

the inquisition is a handful of people at this point regardless of disbandment or not, and we won't really hear from anyone we know that's still working with them. they can't really reference any of the advisors or companions other than varric and harding. as little as our previous choices matter, i have a hard time imagining a significant difference in game states based on, for example, having forces and resources to contribute

the inquisitor is going to make an appearance but get kidnapped/hurt/go MIA for most of the game early on so their presence in the story is the only thing that's significant, not any personal details, anything that might showcase personality or reference their choices in inquisition. probably gonna die to tie up loose ends

solas will be a lil extra sad if lavellan romanced him but I'm not expecting much in terms of solavellan nods. i am betting the difference will be minimal, like friendly vs romanced in trespasser. best case scenario a kiss and he'll throw in a vhenan at the end maybe when he breaks her heart again. definitely not banking on murals or anything significant.

that said, i am thinking the only one of the three choices that will actually have much of an impact is if you romanced solas. i highly doubt any of the other dai romances will get mentioned since past char choices related to them aren't and there are too many variables

whether your inky wanted to redeem or stop solas won't really matter. we need his help either way and with the gods released the veil is probably coming down whether he does it or not

the rest of the world is on fucking fire early enough in the game that it doesn't matter who's on what thrones. it's all irrelevant when the evanuris bust out. no chantry, no kingdoms left standing, just chaos and death

the chars i was really looking forward to seeing again and kind of expected based on location/factions (dorian, isabela, zevran, sten, fenris) might get a passing reference in text but i hear it's a real pain in the ass to get the voice actors and art departments involved for cameos, plus all the possible contingencies, so I'm dropping those hopes. should count my blessings that they aren't horrifically killed on screen because that would be the only other option i guess

basically i'm going to bring my expectations back down to earth and then a little lower for safety. can't be disappointed if i don't expect much going in.

still looking forward to the game? absolutely.

[silverynight]

Welcome home

<---Previous

Chapter 5

They decide to go to a cafe; the place is nice and cozy, and Izuku will have the opportunity to ask questions to every single one in order to get all the details about the mission; he wants to know how they used their quirks and why they decided to use them that way.

The tables have bench cushions around; Katsuki and Izuku sit on one and Uraraka, Hagakure and Todoroki on the one in front.

Even though he tells himself to calm down, Izuku can't help it and starts asking about the rescue. He listens with a fascinated smile on his face as Hagakure explains how she used her quirk to blind the villain when he tried to attack them.

Then he starts rambling about her quirk for a while, all the data he has gathered about her during the time they have met each other, she seems interested or at least he hopes so. He's too focused he doesn't even realize Uraraka is looking at something with amusement until she makes a gesture with her hand towards it.

Izuku turns around, only to find Katsuki with a hand on his chin, quietly staring at him with a fond smile on his face.

"What?"

Katsuki looks a little bit flustered when he notices Izuku's confusion, but he doesn't say anything.

"Midoriya, do you want something to eat?"

"Right!" He says, embarrassed. He looks back at Todoroki as his cheeks turn slightly pink. "Sorry for rambling! You must be hungry!"

"It's alright, I don't mind," the pro hero with mismatched hair assures him. "Actually, everything you say is fascinating. I feel like I'm learning a lot about quirks after listening to you."

Izuku can feel the moment his face turns even more red; Katsuki hisses next to him. When he looks at him again, he realizes he's get irritated. He must be starving too.

"What do you want to eat? I'll get it for you."

"Uhh..." Before Izuku can answer Todoroki's question, Katsuki is already getting up while glaring at the other pro hero.

"Don't bother. I always get Izuku's food."

"Well, I want a strawberry churro and Uraraka wants a croissant. Thanks for asking! Yes, we both are here too, in case you have forgotten!" Hagakure cuts in, half irritated half amused at the situation.

"Sorry! I'll go get them for you!" Izuku says.

"Not you, darling! Sit down!"

However, no matter how much Uraraka insists, Izuku ends up in the line with Katsuki and Todoroki.

"Midoriya."

Katsuki growls as a warning, but Todoroki ignores him completely.

"I'd like you to consider working at Endeavor's agency instead."

That definitely wasn't something Izuku expected to come out of Todoroki's mouth.

"I was really impressed by your performance these last two days; you're really smart and I think you'd be a great asset for our agency."

"Oh, fuck off!"

"Kacchan, please," Izuku has to grab the blond pro hero's arm in order to calm him down a bit. Then, when his friend looks less murderous, he turns towards Todoroki again: "I appreciate the offer, but I'm really happy where I am."

"Take that, half and half!"

Rolling his eyes, Izuku is glad they're next in the line. It's a nice distraction. Perhaps food is what everyone needs to feel less irritated.

"What happened?" Uraraka asks, grabbing her croissant and the coffee Izuku decided to buy for her. "I was watching you from here and Bakugo got more grumpy than usual."

"Half and half here wants to steal Izuku from m–us!"

"What do you mean?" Hagakure asks, sounding curious already. By the time Todoroki explains, even the women get slightly annoyed.

"No!" Uraraka huffs, grabbing one of Izuku's hands in hers. "Get your own green bean! This one is ours!"

They keep playfully scolding him for it and even he starts smiling at them. However, Katsuki moves closer to Izuku until their legs are pressing together even though there's plenty of space on his side.

After a while, the four pro heroes start talking about their time in the UA; Izuku can't help but laugh at all the things they tell him about Katsuki.

"They had to put a muzzle on him because he was so angry at Todoroki for not trying harder at the sports festival!" Hagakure chuckles, while Katsuki narrows his eyes at her.

"He even won, but didn't look happy with the results!" Uraraka adds, laughing along with Hagakure.

"He probably thought he didn't deserve it," Izuku cuts in. "That's why he was so mad."

He looks up at the blond pro hero before stroking his cheek; Katsuki closes his eyes and leans into the touch, content.

"It's alright, Kacchan. You did your best!"

"I didn't," Todoroki says then, getting Izuku's attention again. "But that's because I didn't truly accept myself back then."

"But now you do, right?" Izuku asks, smiling kindly at him.

"Now I do."

***

As they sit back in Katsuki's car, Izuku realizes that he's still frowning. Probably because Todoroki asked Izuku to think about his offer.

"I'm not going to work at Endeavor's," Izuku assures him, putting a hand on his shoulder.

He relaxes somewhat before looking back at the green haired man with an intense expression on his face; Katsuki does that a lot lately and he has no idea what he's thinking about.

"Stay with me tonight."

"Okay, Kacchan," he says, smiling at him softly. The truth is that he still wants to spend a little bit more time with his friend after what happened.

But staying is a mistake because Izuku likes Katsuki's apartment; it feels like home even though it shouldn't.

The next days he barely stays at his own place and every time he goes back to it, it feels colder and less like the cozy apartment he once acquired.

Katsuki basically gives him one of the guest's rooms; he has a closet for himself in which he keeps a few clothes because he also stays during work days and it's more "convenient" that way.

Somedays, Izuku feels like he's fooling himself.

There's green tea now in Katsuki's kitchen, chocolate, and blueberries on the fridge that Izuku makes disappear quickly.

"You seriously don't want the last bit of honey?" Izuku asks, looking tempted to pour it all over his bread, but he wants to offer it to Katsuki first. He doesn't think he has ever seen him touch the bottle, but he's not there ALL the time.

"I don't like sweet food," Katsuki says from the couch, browsing through Netflix's catalog, looking for a good horror movie.

"But you do like honey!" Izuku argues. "I mean, you bought this..."

That bottle was there before Izuku started staying in that apartment a few times a week.

"I bought it for you," the pro hero says casually, already selecting a movie. The thumbnail looks like it'll give Izuku nightmares.

He looks back at the now empty bottle, feeling warm inside out of the sudden. He smiles, thinking about all the things Katsuki does for him...

"Well, I'll go back to my room now!"

"None of that, nerd!" Katsuki turns around, looking at him over the back of the couch. "You promised!"

"Fine!" Izuku pouts, getting ready to close his eyes. "But if you complain about me clinging to you, I'll leave, okay?"

Being as close as possible to Katsuki is the only thing that makes him feel safe when they watch those kind of movies.

Katsuki snorts.

"Have I ever complained about that?"

"No, but just in case," Izuku mumbles before sitting right next to him, even though there's a lot of space on the couch. "I don't know why you want me here, to be honest. All I do is cover my eyes, gasp and wrap myself around you every time. Sometimes, I even end up on your lap! That can't be pleasant for you!"

Katsuki's smirk makes his eyes glimmer with amusement.

"That is actually very pleasant for me. You have no idea."

It must be because he enjoys Izuku's suffering... his friend is still a jerk sometimes. But he buys a lot of sweets for him and lets Izuku cuddle him so he'll forgive him for that eventually.

To no one's surprise, Izuku ends up covering his eyes and Katsuki's space.

The pro hero looks like he's having the time of his life, but he's kind enough to put a hand over Izuku's shoulders and nuzzle against his green curls to calm him down.

He falls asleep like that but wakes up on his bed in the morning.

***

"Trying a new style?" One of his coworkers asks as a form of greeting. "Well, you look good with everything, Midoriya!"

"Isn't that too big for you though?" Another one says, frowning a bit.

Some days, he wishes he didn't blush that easily; it makes him look like he's hiding something.

"Kacchan gave it to me," he mumbles, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. It's not his fault that Katsuki's clothes are very comfortable; it's true that wearing black is not Izuku's style, but he likes the fact that the hoodie feels like it's hugging him.

He's not sure if that's completely true, though, because most of the time is just Izuku "stealing" things from him that the pro hero ends up giving him.

"I see," the man in front of him grins in a way Izuku doesn't like. There's nothing to "see" there.

He runs back to his station then.

An hour later, he decides to pay a visit to Hatsume. He wants to ask about Kaminari's gear; something happened during his latest mission and it ended up damaged, but Izuku doesn't understand what prompted it to act the way it did. And he needs to understand in order to write a report about it.

But he's also very curious.

Right outside Hatsume's department, Izuku remembers why other people are not allowed there unless they let them know they're coming beforehand.

Izuku forgot to do that.

"Not again!" He manages to hear someone complaining before Hatsume laughs.

"It's alright! We always learn from our mistakes," she says right before something inside explodes and sends Izuku backwards.

There's smoke everywhere; his ears start ringing a bit, but he realizes he's alright, although his back hurts.

"Are you okay, Midoriya?" Hatsume asks, leaning over him. "You shouldn't be here."

He gets that now. At least the people from support are completely fine, mostly because they wear special clothes all the time. In case something like that happens.

"Are you sure you're fine?"

"Yes, don't worry!"

"Alright, then let me turn off the alarm in your device before he comes running here..."

Honestly, Izuku had forgotten his pretty necklace was a security device. But now as he looks down he sees a red dot in the middle of the X.

"IZUKU!"

"Too late," Hatsume mumbles, right before turning it off. She moves away from Izuku to give room for Dynamight to fret over him.

"I'm fine, Kacchan, I promise," he assures him as he manages to sit.

Katsuki kneels on the floor next to him and Izuku notices his hero suit; it looks clean and impeccable, which means he was about to go out.

His red eyes start scanning his body from head to toe, desperately looking for wounds.

"Where does it hurt?" He asks, touching Izuku's back of the head with his fingertips. When the green haired man flinches, the pro hero's eyes lose their shine. "I'll take you to the infirmary."

"Kacchan, wait!"

Katsuki growls. He's obviously still in distress, and Izuku can't have that. Pretending no one is watching, he cradles his friend's face and rubs their noses together.

The fear he notices in his eyes shocks Izuku for a moment.

"I'm fine, Kacchan," he whispers, smiling softly at him. "I promise."

He watches as the blond's broad shoulders lose some of their tension. His arms wrap around Izuku's completely before he presses his lips against one of his freckled cheeks gently. After he takes a deep breath, he does the same against the other.

Izuku's heart skips a beat.

"Alright! Let's go back to work, everybody!" Hatsume says, clapping her hands together to get her workers' attention. "There's nothing to see here!"

As the smoke clears, Izuku turns as red as a strawberry.

Katsuki doesn't seem to care about having an audience or not.

"When I heard the alarm, I panicked," he admits, pointing at a bracelet on his right wrist. Izuku had thought all this time it was a simple accessory.

"I'm fine," he repeats, mostly because his own heartbeat doesn't let him think that much.

Katsuki leans to give him a kiss on the forehead, making even more difficult for Izuku to actually focus.

"Let me take you to the infirmary anyway. Please, it'll help me feel better."

"Okay, Kacchan."

As the doctor explains to them both that Izuku doesn't have a concussion and the incident only got him a few bruises, he realizes, as he remembers Katsuki's soft kisses on his face that me might have feelings for his best friend.

And that could be a problem.

***

Perhaps the best thing is to stop staying with Katsuki; Izuku's feelings will only grow if he keeps spending that much time with his friend.

It's a good thing he never moved in with him like Katsuki wanted. He'd be kicked out immediately if the pro hero found out about Izuku's crush on him.

Except that it doesn't feel like a simple crush.

As they both walk down the stairs, Izuku takes a deep breath and thinks about an excuse to stay at his own apartment this time.

"Here, take this, nerd," Katsuki stops for a moment to give him a key. "This is just in case you need it, but you know you only have to type the code to get in."

A copy of Katsuki's apartment door key. And he's going to give him the code too.

"It's 0715," the pro hero says in a whisper. His face turns so red Izuku worries about him for a moment. "So when... I'm on late night patrol you can get in without me and stay there."

"Oh, that'll be easy to remember!" He says, chuckling. His friend probably hasn't even realized what those numbers mean. "It's like my birthday! What a coincidence!"

Katsuki chokes on air, blush spreading down his neck. Maybe he's getting sick or something...

"I know you are really smart, but sometimes you make me question your intelligence."

"Kacchan, that's so mean!" Izuku tries to look offended, but he fails miserably. Besides, his mind is preoccupied with something else.

When they're inside Katsuki's car. Izuku takes a deep breath.

"Take me to my apartment, please."

"Why? Did you forget something?"

"No... it's just," he bites his bottom lip before continuing: "I mean... I live there after all, I should stay in my own apartment."

"Or you can finally move in with me."

"I don't think that's a good idea."

Katsuki turns his head towards him; good thing he hasn't started the car yet.

"Why not? Does something in my apartment bother you? We can redecorate it if you want. I just bought you a display cabinet to put your ridiculous All Might figure collection. It was a surprise, by the way. So pretend to be surprised when it finally arrives."

Katsuki is making it really difficult for Izuku not to fall in love with him.

"Uhh... it's..." Izuku blinks as his eyes start getting wet.

"What is it, Izuku? Talk to me. You know you can tell me anything," he says; he's never heard him speak that softly to him. His thumbs wipe his tears off before he presses his forehead against the sweet nerd's.

Katsuki deserves to know so he can decide for himself if he wants to keep some distance between them from now on.

It'll break Izuku's heart, but he can handle it.

"Listen, Kacchan, don't freak out, but I think I have f-feelings for you. So it'll be better if we–"

"Wow," Katsuki chuckles, shaking his head in disbelief. "You really are an idiot, Izuku."

"This is not funny, Kacchan! I'm trying to tell you something important!"

"So am I!" He smiles, red eyes glimmering with unrestrained happiness. He cradles Izuku's confused face, before giving him a quick kiss on the lips. "Izuku. I am in love with you."

"What?" He blinks, getting slightly dizzy as Katsuki keeps pressing their lips together. Kisses pressed against his face as he turns so pink his freckles disappear momentarily.

"I have never been subtle about my devotion to you," Katsuki smirks, enjoying the fact that Izuku gets so flustered after being kissed to speak properly. "That's why everyone in the agency thinks we're dating. Yes, I know about those rumors too, the only difference is that I have never shut them down."

"But why you never told me anything?"

Katsuki's smile vanishes for a moment and Izuku wants to take the question back immediately.

"I thought you didn't love me the way I did."

This time it's Izuku the one who initiates their kiss, although Katsuki is the one in control. He smiles against his lips before taking his time to explore Izuku's mouth.

"Move in with me, Izuku."

"I'd love to, Kacchan."

***

A lot of things have changed in a month; Izuku finally left his old apartment and is now living with Katsuki.

And sleeping on his bed too.

Waving a hand in front of his face to stop himself from blushing, Izuku focuses on the task at hand.

He has practiced that curry recipe a lot, torturing his friends in the process, although Todoroki claims that the first time was perfect.

Uraraka couldn't even finish it, Kirishima gave him a thumbs up, but didn't look like he was enjoying it.

However, the last one was a success, which means he's ready to make it for his boyfriend.

He wants to surprise Katsuki this time; he's the one who cooks for them and he knows he does it gladly, but Izuku wants to show him he can make an effort too.

A loud sigh escapes from his lips when he finishes just in time for the door to open.

"I'm home, Izuku!"

He rushes towards the entrance because that's one of his favorite parts of living with Katsuki, that he gets to greet him in his own home.

In their own home, and wants to do that for the rest of their lives.

The realization hits him by surprise, and both Izuku and Katsuki just stand there, frozen, staring into each other's eyes like they know exactly what they're both thinking.

"You look cute with that apron," Katsuki breathes deeply, as if he had forgotten how to and pulls Izuku into a tight hug. "Is it too soon to ask you to marry me?"

"It's us," he whispers back, trying not to cry. "We have never been a conventional couple to begin with. It's fine."

"Is that a yes?"

"It is."

After a long kiss, Izuku pushes his boyfriend away a bit, chuckling when Katsuki chases his lips desperately and pouts when he keeps turning his head away.

"Come on, nerd! Just one more!"

"Wait, I need to tell you something first."

"What is it?"

"Welcome home, Kacchan!"

Katsuki rolls his eyes, but the glimmer in them and the wide smile on his lips tell Izuku that he's just as happy to hear that as Izuku is to say it.

***

Thank you so much for reading this story!

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[fuck-you-upmusicbracket]

Farwell Wonderlust (The Amazing Devil)

I promise you im not broken, I promise you there's more/More to come, more to reach more, more to hurl at the door/Goodbye to all my darkness, there's nothing here but light/Adieu to all the faceless things that sleep with me at night/This here is not makeup, it's a porcelain tomb/And this here is not singing, I'm just screaming in tune

This here is not makeup, it's a porcelain tomb/And this here is not singing, I'm just screaming in tune

I'm the face that stares back when the screen goes to black/When your mom says you look healthy/But you know she means you got fat/I'm the tales that the guests will applaud and believe/I'm the child that you just didn't have time to conceive

"You may have taken me, and made me, but I am more than what you think, and I will /not/ let you ruin me."

"I have literally fucked up my throat by yelling this song really loudly while driving. Like, my voice was weird for multiple days afterwards. I can't put it into words but everyone I've ever heard mention the amazing devil has been so fucked up by this song."

"Ok I KNOW that this isn't going to win because no one knows the song. therefore the only mark i can leave is this rant ok. So I apologise in advance but: but did you read that absolute CALLOUT section of the lyrics i put up there?? that is only a SECTION ok. this song is so fucking weird its like someone is reaching into your soul strings and pulling on tangling them making u Feel Things like WOW. its such a. callout isnt the rigjt word for it. it just fucks one up ok. like honestly just pls pls i beg of u listen to the song or even just read the entire lyrics its so. you'll get what I mean."

"It’s about breaking under the weight of expectations and showing the world yourself in all of your imperfect, ugly, and raw glory."

Heartache (Undertale)

"This is the song where you are forced to fight Toriel, who has basically been treating you like her child since you met her."

Farewell Wanderlust submitted by @Gimme_DA_PIEEEE + @ceaseless-rambler + @xx0yeet-everything0xx + others

[sadceline]

THE ENHYPEN HOST || 15

|| Reverse harem || ft. TXT, Mingyu (Seventeen) & BTS

WARNINGS: foul language, explicit content, group sex, humiliation, sex in public, threesome, foursoome, rough sex, red flags, immoral acts, unprotected sex, morbid jealousy, comedy, parody, possessiveness, violent quarrels, arguments, betrayals, lies, femdom sometimes.

GENRE: +18, reverse harem, comedy, enemy to lovers, friends to lovers

PREVIOUS (FF) CHAPTER:

FIRST CHAPTER:

When I wake up I am not in Niki's room. It's the first thing I notice, I can't help but rise up startled to look around, am I already in cage? Is this how this day begins? Did Niki let him do it or did he wait for him to come out?

I sigh, still wearing last night's tshirt, briefs, and my mouth is bitter from smoking and not brushing my teeth, too tired.

Sunghoon enters in his room, he has an all too smug smile, seems to almost feel pity for me, I should too.

"You even bothered to bring me here?"

"I didn't feel like waiting for you to wake up from Niki's room." Amment serene.

I sneer, annoyed, as I get off his bed. "What are the plans for today?"

"What do you think?"

"I'm not going to do anything with you."

I hear him burst out laughing as I sigh looking at Heeseung's chat, did the idiot really send me the morning?

"What did you do yesterday? With Niki."

I lift my tired, sleepy gaze to his, then smile. "We did it every which way, first I was on top of him, then him. Forward, back, I had him all over." I see him laughing, yes, he's laughing, but only because he doesn't want to show that he's bothered by this, after all, he knows it could have really happened (and it did, but not in these ways and certainly not lightly).

"Oh yeah? So you like the much smaller ones? Gross."

"Riki is my bias, after all." I laugh too, walking to leave the room.

He doesn't stop me but follows me, and I go to the kitchen to make myself a long espresso. "So, nothing to do today either?"

"No, nothing in particular. - He explains, walking away to get a small bottle of water from the fridge. - So, do you have Heeseung's number now, Jake? Niki probably gave you his too, didn't?"

"Do you want to give me yours too?" I ask, approaching the fridge to get some milk to stain coffee with, he opens the door for me. I look at his face for less than a second, then sigh and pick up the brick, moving away again to pour it into the cup. He takes his time answering me, who knows what he's thinking-probably wondering what he could say to make me feel worse.

"You already have so many people you can call in times - he says, approaching the door - you don't need my number too."

So, he crosses the hall and disappears. I am left alone with my coffee and some doubt, as well as a strange bitterness in my chest, better not to think about it. I check social since it's been a while since I've done so and surprise surprise, I choke when I find out that with his official account Yeonjun actually wrote me on instagram.

Of course he doesn't follow me, but since I have the open account he can write to me.

In the meantime, Sunghoon has returned to the kitchen with his own phone, but I am caught off guard, instinctively afraid that he might find out such a thing and therefore rail further against me.

"Do I scare you that much?" He huffs, annoyed, but continues to look at the phone screen, intent on sending messages by typing quickly. He looks agitated.

"In fact, you do convey a certain uneasiness to me - I sigh, turning off the phone screen, he notices though - but I'm not af raid of you."

"That's good - he says, but he doesn't seem at all focused or present, something is going on behind his screen. - Because it's Heeseung you should be afraid of."

I wearily lift my eyes to the sky, he took short time. I sit at the table, away from him, resuming staring at the screen as I sip my coffee and it still feels too strange, should I respond? Surely it's not nice to ignore him - he even wrote to me with the official account....

"What are you smiling about?" He asks annoyed.

I immediately compose myself, turning off the phone again. "What do you care? Mind your business."

"Yah! - He raises his voice, I raise my eyes a little scared and he notices, so he clears his voice calming down. - Really, you should put the phone down."

"What?" - I ask incredulously, and a little amused. - Are you kidding?"

"You can choose to put it away yourself, or I'll take it."

I immediately pick up the device, placing it between my thighs. "What? Are you crazy all of a sudden?"

"Never been sane. - Approaching threateningly, I stand up. - That idiot will text you all the time, and you apparently can't take your eyes off the phone, so we'll settle it politically."

I laugh as I flee for the kitchen, avoiding him. "You've been with the phone the whole time, too!"

He stops, I can see it, he covers his mouth because by dint of running and chasing me around the kitchen he's had to laugh too. He coughs again, gets serious.

‘Of course I have real commitments, important people to answer to.’ I arch my eyebrows in amusement, I actually have important people to answer too but I don't need to say that, I don't want to annoy him further. ‘Then you shouldn't waste your time on unimportant people like me.’ I explain. He, however, takes advantage of my moment of vulnerability to reach over and take the phone out of my hands, raising his hand so that I can't reach it. ‘Shut up, okay?’ OK my ass, Park Sunghoon, ‘Give it back.’ I ask, doing so politely, this doesn't have to turn into a war. ‘Why do you want it? Forget it - he replies, with such nonchalance that it creeps me out. - So you talk to Heeseung a lot? Do you have fun over the phone?’ I keep smiling nervously, I want to slap him, he's so arrogant. ‘Give me your phone.’ ‘What?’ He bursts out laughing, putting mine in the back pocket of his suit… black. ‘I'll let you have it if you give me yours.’ ‘No way.’ He laughs. ‘Then give it back to me, there's not a single reason why you should have it.’ ‘There are reasons - he says. - The first is that I don't know your code, so, I can't do anything with your phone. The second is that this is my turn, your time belongs to me, so I choose what you can and cannot do.’

I am speechless for his logic, his arrogance no knows bounds, I am fascinated by this but not in a good way. Park Sunghoon, are you a sociopath?

‘It's not written anywhere that I can't use the phone.’ Just as I speak, in front of me, he pulls out his fucking phone and replies, as I can see a few metres away, to a very long message. ‘Then let's write it down.’ He says.

As I suspected something is going on, but who is he talking now? The messages are long and Sunghoon stays writing the reply for several seconds, to the point that despite being aware that stealing his phone now would be so easy, I still decide not to do it.

He has a stern expression on his face, he's so handsome when he's angry that it makes you want to make him really angry. I sigh, realising I've been staring at him for too long, so I simply return to my coffee.

‘Don't drink just that, eat something.’ I look at him, he's focused on the screen, I force myself to get angry but it actually still makes me a little bit impressed that he's pretending to care about me. ‘No thanks.’ ‘Don't be such a kid.’ ‘Aren't you too busy answering to talk to me too?’ I ask, and he lifts his gaze for the first time in a while, staring at me amused. ‘What, are you feeling neglected?’ I open my mouth genuinely surprised, how dare he? ‘Give me my phone back, stupid.’ ‘Stupid?’ ‘I thought about it, I'm older than you, you should start... c-comport yourself well. - I say that but my voice is shaking at the end. - You're d-disrespectful.’ He bursts out laughing, turning off his phone and putting it back in his pocket. ‘What, and you want me to call you noona too?’

Let's not exaggerate, I think as I cover my mouth because I can't help smiling, I'm such a pervert…. is just a word, why should it have that much effect on me?

‘Look at her, she can't hide it! - He accuses me aloud, while his laughter fills the atmosphere all around. - Oh my god, do you really want to hear me say that? Pathetic, give up now.’ ‘If you hold to that like you did with the ‘I will never sleep with you’ then can we say you'll do it by the end of the day?’

I bite my lip, I knew he would be angry. He approaches twisting his lips, the evil ice prince, he has his hands in his pockets but bends slightly to get to my height.

‘And tell me, how is Heeseung?’ ‘What does Heeseung have to do with it now?’ ‘About this thing which I really don't remember - he smiles smugly - what does he think? Is he trying to reassure you by saying it was a mistake?’ ‘You realise you can't talk about something you deny happened?’ He laughs again, pulling away. ‘It doesn't change anything, whether it happened or not. ‘ I take a few steps towards him, narrowing my eyes. ‘Then why not admit it happened?’ He backs away further, laughing. ‘Because it doesn't matter.’ ‘Talking to you is pointless, isn't it?’ ‘We can deal with it like two adults. - He explains calmly, taking his mobile phone back, writing a short message and turning it off again. - Now let's talk about what happened yesterday, where you were with Niki, who was with you? And Heeseung?’ ‘You keep asking me about Heeseung… - I giggle, nervous. - Like it's important.’ ‘It isn't? Then you should let me read the chat.’ I swallow, not expecting such a request. ‘W-what? No?’

At that moment, Sunoo enters the kitchen, Sunghoon is about to distance himself from me as the comrade passes between us and approaches for coffee.

‘Didn't you go out?’ Sunghoon asks, first. Sunoo, so elegant and pale, sighs almost disappointed. ‘Good morning.’ I sit at the table looking down. ‘Good morning.’ ‘You're excited, aren't you, hyung?’ The younger man asks, sitting down next to me and observing me. ‘What?’ Sunghoon asks. ‘It's finally your turn, you've been looking forward to it. - He smiles, bringing his cup to his lips, takes a sip. - Noona shouldn't you eat something? Then you'll end up sick.’

Wow, Sunoo, just like everyone else, is simply dazzling up close. It may be the make-up, but his skin appears free of any kind of imperfection, his features are so fine. He has a very different glance to the rest of the world, calmer, maybe mature, but equally brilliant.

‘And you? How are you going to get through the day with just a coffee? ‘ Sunoo crinkles his beautiful big eyes, he's surprised but doesn't want to show it. ‘I'll be fine, I have vitamins.’ ‘Do you want me to cook you something quickly? - I sigh worriedly, getting up. - I'll be quick for real.’ ‘Noona… no need, really.’ He laughs, embarrassed, how cute… ‘Go to that bar you like so much - snorts Sunghoon, taking out his wallet and putting several tens of thousands of won in his hand - and really do it.’ ‘I don't want anything from you, hyung.’ Sunoo replies, but Sunghoon grabs his hands, preventing him from pushing the money against his chest. The two look at each other for several seconds and God if I am fantasising. 'Then you really are…how envious. I'm jealous. - Sunoo laughs, pulling away first. Sunghoon swallows, struggling, looking away nervously, then the younger man comes towards me, smiling. - I'll BOY something good for you too, noona, since you're so nice.’ ‘Thank you…’ I nod infatuated by his sweet and spicy scent.

Sunoo leaves the room and walks out of the attic, Sunghoon looks at me, he's angry but I don't understand why. The fact that he approaches so suddenly, walking against me, makes me spontaneously back up until I freeze against the wall, I swallow, he's really… close.

‘W-What did I do?’ ‘I don't know but stop it.’

This is all crazy. I slide under his outstretched arm leaning against the wall and walk towards the corridor, he stops me, as usual, with his stupid strength and I give in.

‘What do you want?’ ‘Aren't you going to answer?’ ‘I have nothing to say to you.’ ‘I can be nice, if you'll be a good girl.’

I stiffen, he absolutely must not say such things. I'm very sensitive, even if it's an asshole like him saying them.

‘Sunghoon, what's on your mind?’

He walks towards me, he is close but does not cross the line, I can feel his breath caressing my forehead, it is as if time has stopped. I hate feeling so at a disadvantage.

‘What should I have on my mind? I just want to talk.’

He says this grabbing me by the arm and dragging me into his strange bare room, he pushes me against the bed but as usual, he is not abrupt, I fall exactly as I should have fallen. He, though at arm's length, has climbed into bed with me, crawling.

‘Talk about what?’ ‘Let's see if you're honest… who were having lunch with you yesterday? ‘ I pale, evidently also. ‘W-what?’ ‘Who, were, with, you? - He smiles but is nervous. - Come on…’ ‘Why do you want to know?’ Sunghoon gets serious all of a sudden. ‘Riki is a kid who gets manipulated by those assholes, and you would do anything to get laid.’

I do, I don't even think about it for a second, I slap him on his fucking elegant cheek which turns red within seconds. I'm terrified of my own behaviour, I should never, never have reacted like that.

He touches his cheek as he looks at me surprised, but also definitely annoyed. ‘Who were you yesterday, Amanda?’

Did he call me by name? I don't remember if he did before, but the way his voice vibrates, his tone serious and deep, makes my knees tremble and my throat dry.

I swallow, backing away as I sit on the bed. ‘We were together with Yeonjun and Soobin.’

There, now he is really angry. There are several reasons why he might be: the first is that, thinking me an easy chick (even though I actually am) he might be afraid of venereal diseases or something, the second is that he obviously hates them.

From first to last.

‘Oh yeah, and did you have a good time?’ I raise my pupils, that's just like him reply like that. ‘Do you really think that just because I met them then I laid with them?’ He doesn't answer right away, seems to think about it, then looks at me. ‘Yes.’ ‘I already told you - I reply, unable to mask my nervousness - think what you want.’ ‘I don't actually believe you - he says, approaching slowly - but you can try to change my mind.’ ‘W-Why should I?’ I laugh, but I don't realise fast enough that by grabbing me by the waist, he pushed me down so that I was right underneath him, between his legs. ‘Because if I'm not angry - he whispers, hunching over me, who remain pressed against his mattress, unable to breathe - it will be more pleasant.’ ’W-What?’

He smiles for less than a second before taking off his little black shirt, revealing a body that is nothing short of divine. His shoulders broad as fucking highways meet at the height of his collarbones, so prominent and defined. His chest appears immense in front of me, as I gaze shocked from below.

How can he… be real.

‘If you cooperate, I will show you more and more.’ He says, taking my hand to rest it on his abdomen so tight, so flat, so hard. ‘Don't… A-Are you kidding?’ I ask genuinely confused. ‘You really didn't do anything with Riki?’ He asks again, pushing my hand lower, but not too far.

This is…. I have to get up from here.

‘N..No…’ I whisper.

WHAT THE FUCK.

Why do I please him? I regain my senses thankfully and try to get up to move away from him but he stops me from the waist, forcing me under his body.

‘No, eh? Why? Cause did Heeseung ask you?’

We look into each other's eyes, i'm feeling strange. His gaze is serious enough to make me uncomfortable, at the same time I feel like this is the only time Sunghoon takes me seriously.

‘Yes.’ I reply.

He didn't expect such a response, it is obvious, so much so that he lets his grip on my hips but I don't use this moment to escape, I remain helpless, as if my body were lifeless.

‘What?’

I don't answer, but it's as if I did.

Sunghoon's phone starts ringing just at this moment but he doesn't move, instead he grabs my shirt and lifts it up, I am only in my briefs underneath. I don't run, I don't flinch, I don't even know what's going on.

I'm just lying.

‘Do you want Heeseung?’ ‘Your… the phone rings…’ I say softly, looking away. ‘He's just messing with you.’ ‘I know.’ I admit. ‘You know?!’

The phone stops ringing for a second, then a second call comes in, apparently urgent.

'And you? - I ask him. - Aren't you messing with me too?’

That's when in less than a second, as the annoying ringtone becomes sweet music, Sunghoon leans over and taking my face with both hands kisses me, for the first time.

But… what the fuck…..

I push him, he insists, I try to push him away but after a couple of times I stop fighting. He kisses me, really kisses me, he's not touching me outside my face but my body burns as his tongue melts over mine like ice in lava.

A third call starts, this time I really push him and he stops.

He gets up without saying anything, I get the impression that he is angry while walks to the desk where he had left the phone and answers.

‘What the fuck…. who is?! - He answers really, really aggressively to the call….. I hear a female voice. Sunghoon has his back to me but I think I know which his expression have, his silence lasts too long. - What?! No!’

Several more seconds of silence.

‘Fuck, you can't do that! I'm coming..... I said…. yes.’

When he closes the call he loses several seconds before turning around, but by the time he does I'm already up. He walks towards me, his long black fringes covering his eyes but he has a really scary expression.

He takes off my shirt, I'm so surprised I don't realise I have to stop him, then I catch a glimpse of his dark eyes.

‘Wait in Jungwon's room.’ ‘W-what? Give me the shirt meanwhile..’ I say, trying to grab it back. He moves his arm. ‘No - he shakes his head, making a noise of denial with his mouth - you're going to stay like that.’ ‘S-Sunghoon who's coming?’

He doesn't answer immediately, in fact, he tries to boycott the discussion by throwing the shirt to grab my thin briefs from my hips, I see his long fingers bend around the lambo of fabric and seriously I can't stop him.

He touches my abdomen, my thighs, with his nose, with his lips.

Shit…

‘Wait in Jungwon's room.’

Why do I let him undress me? Why do I let him take me to Jungwon's room? And why specifically his?

‘Honestly - he says, still holding my underwear - I don't have enough time to tie you up. This is the only room with a bathroom that you're allowed to enter, and you can't go outside.’ ‘G-Give me the phone.’ He bursts out laughing, but you can tell he's faking it, he's really pissed off, unhinged I dare say. ‘No kidding.’ ‘What…. What am I supposed to do?’ ‘Wait for me.’ He says, and then SIMPLY closes the door.

So I'm naked and in Jungwon's room, which is particularly neat but monochrome, mostly, all white, grey and beige.

I lean against the door, wondering who it is. Wonyoung? It looks… dangerous to me.

‘Are you an asshole? I'll kill you.’ Someone shouts, sounds like her to me, also seems to hit him repeatedly with maybe a bag. ‘You can't come here. Who did you come with?’ ‘You really want to tell me that? - She replies offended, advancing into the living room. - You're a fucking asshole, I'm going crazy.’ ‘If I was boring you would have snubbed me.’ He chuckles, in confidence.

Their tone is almost childlike, it doesn't sound like they're really arguing.

‘What the fuck is wrong with you these days?’ She asks. ‘Nothing, it's the change of season. Why are you here?’ ‘Ah, that sucks. You've gotten so used to it - and I guess she's talking about herself - that you don't even want to…’

Their bickering is interrupted by a stony silence, because… I guess the sound of their kissing doesn't come through the door. Why am I trembling? Am I scared or envious?

‘I know the boys are out all day today.’ She giggles. Sunghoon does the same, but in a different way. ‘How do you know? You let me spy?’ ‘Who knows… never let it be said that the princess of Korea is betrayed by any idol.’

They kiss again, at length.

Fuck, she is just incredible. I wish I was a tenth of what she is to live just better. And I feel pretty shitty too, I mean… I wouldn't feel guilty if she was aware of it of course, but really, beyond what I think of Sunghoon, never let it be said that someone like her has horns, for someone like me then… that would be inexcusable, I would deserve the pillory.

He whispers something to her that I can't hear.

‘And I don't like bullshit.’ She replies though, getting up, walking down the corridor, he follows her. ‘Wonyoung, don't do that again. Coming here is dangerous for you too.’ ‘Ok, but now fuck me.‘ ’You asked for it.’

I'm quite surprised. I mean… I imagined this would happen, but I thought I had more time to deal with something like this.

Thus began whole hours of fucking wild sex.

And I, honestly naked, locked in Jungwon's room, don't know what I could use to take my life without feeling excessive pain. I could try to use a pillow to suffocate myself or throw myself out the window, but the building is really high and the torture would be really long.

They scream, she moans at the top of her lungs. Right now they must be looking at each other, possessing each other in a very different dance than they are used to. It must all be so sweaty, wet, and elegant, their bodies high, dry….

Lying on Jungwon's bed, after putting on one of his shirts (I'll apologise later) I realise that although his sheets smell like everyone else's, his pillow smells too. Like borotalcate. It is so fresh and natural, it makes me want to sleep.

I try and try again but they keep moaning, panting, screaming. I get up, desperate, I walk around the room. This cannot be happening.

The screams subside and I can breathe.

When I hear the doorknob click, I snap too, terrified. Someone has tried to open it, and it is not Sunghoon because he knows he has locked it.

‘What are you doing?’ Sunghoon asks agitatedly, behind the door. ‘Take it easy you idiot. - She snorts in offence. - Where is the bathroom in this house?’ ‘That way, this is Jungwon's room.’ ‘He locks it huh? Strange…’ ‘He does it because Riki takes his clothes.’ ‘Mh, if you say so - sigh. - I'm going to take a shower, bye.’

After several minutes it happens what shouldn't have happened, seriously, I could have faced a few more hours without water and mobile phone, it would still have been better than seeing Sunghoon walk through the door, half naked, his wide tracksuit slipping over his pelvis, his hair dampened, his fucking lips consumed by another's kisses.

‘Are you ok?’ He asks, without looking at me, as he hands me a bottle of water. ‘Get out immediately - I whisper, terrified - are you out of your mind?’

Sunghoon approaches, he is tired, he looks like a zombie. He places the water bottle on the desk before grabbing me by the face and resuming kissing me, like before.

What is he doing? This… this guy has gone crazy! They've all gone mad! I am living in the worst and best erotic nightmare of my life but I really need to wake up now.

He kisses me, his tongue is not fast but passionate, he savours every inch of my lips as I sink into the softness of his, our noses brush against each other and his hands caress my cheeks, my hair, he holds me from the nape of my neck so that the kiss is more intense.

I really want to die in this moment, because imagining that it will end devastates me.

He stops, perhaps he has finally woken up from his nightmare. Yet I still cannot see his eyes, preciously hidden under the thick bangs that also look so soft and into which I would like to sink my fingers.

No… he has not woken up.

‘Why are you wearing Jungwon's things?’ He asks, in a whisper, I can't even tell if he's looking at me, he's become so strange, unrecognisable. ‘If she came in…’

Sunghoon approaches me again, takes the t-shirt from the edges and lifts it slowly over my body, and the truth is, I don't stop him this time either.

‘You wouldn't want to… - He asks, laughing awkwardly, as if he's really out of it - wear only my things?’ I am… confused. Confused, tired and terribly horny. ‘I maybe… - I say, swallowing, I feel like I'm drunk and I haven't even had a drink - no… you're crazy. Maybe you're the craziest of them all.’ I smile upset, turning away from him. ‘When you're good at everything, you end up a little crazy in the end.’ He smiles this time too, but as usual, he doesn't mean it.

He takes my face again, he kisses me again, to deny him would be like going against my own instincts, I can't resist him.

This time his hands touch me, how very much they touch me. He cupping my breasts, picking them up as if they were tiny, then his lips slide over my nipples and I moan.

‘S-Stop it….’ ‘Shut up.’

ok short poll because it amuses me, bye

NEXT CHAPTER:

[icewindandboringhorror]

On average, what is the total MONTHLY amount that you spend on dining out*?

*(This doesn't only count going out to restaurants, but also stuff like picking up fast food to bring home, getting a coffee on the way to work, getting a premade sandwich from a grocery store deli during lunch, buying a quick snack from a convenience store or food cart whilst walking somewhere, ordering a pizza or any other food to be delivered to your home, etc.)

*(If you often dine out in groups/as a household: calculate and divide the costs so that you get a Per Person average. This is for YOU individually, NOT the total household/group costs)

(I'm sure polls similar to this have been made before (very common topic), I just haven't personally seen one that I can remember, so, I was curious to do my own! I was discussing this with a group of people today and it was very interesting to see how widely the number varied between individuals. :0c )

(Reblog for bigger sample size if you can, and feel free to explain your answer in tags if there's anything extra to add!)

[sadrockandwaltzes]

Just some crappy Mikage drawings based on images from the show cause I need practice... I feel like I'm really getting the devianart experience tryna draw him😅😭

He looks much better in the show I assure you...

[writing on top left says 'Mikage Death Pose' since it looks very simpson death esque; writing for glasses (he looks so cool in his prof outfit) says 'stylish professor turned stylish librarian after pick-up attempt' (cause I accidentally gave him lipstick😅); middle left writing says 'shading fail' and 'dude being shady- not blushy; and bottom writing says 'Gah... She kept me waiting again!']

Favorite's definitely the bottom one

[monst]

I have a confession to make that may result in my cancellation but I must speak my truth after years of silence:

I think Arkhamverse Tim is fine as fuck.

[toomanywordsnllines]

What if Ghost wears his mask because, after all the torment his father rained on him... he got the nervous tic of smiling AND laughing...

He starts getting nervous and his lips start to twitch up into a smile.... He can't stop it. It just... happens

Someone can be brutality killed in front of him but because of his father, his lips just twitch into a smile instead of a frown or grimace. It doesn't reach his eyes so no one really knows it, but he feels disgusted with himself anyway. Smiling and laughing at someone suffering? "What kind of monster are you Simon?"