#I can't remember who's Oneself

[the-blossica-fan]

It's sorta the latter WHEEEEEZE

Oneself looks back on it fondly, at least

Oh right yeah Oneself hoo boy

LMAO NOOOOO

They way those children will sing the world's trashiest song written by a 15 y/o under the influence of Vodka

Most of them will be giggling or being stuttering because of embarrassment.

Lord bless Sonetto's ears, tiny Sonetto will have the most shocked, disgusted, traumatized face ever

And

And

And Lilya in the background laughing to the point of tears. I even want to think that Madam Z was between laughing and horrified, and Constantine was just with an unreadable face (she's horrified but it's also kind of dumb)

They all get punished harshly in the end.

[mechaknight-98]

Reflections I: Acceptance (NSFW) FT Karina, Jihyo, Sakura, Moon Sua

Operator’s Notes: "I'm an Otaku bestie" Is it really a Le Sserafim comeback if this page is not releasing a story about Sakura? The goal these pieces is to hype up Authors the operator is currently really enjoying. Also note the Daigo featured in this story is not the same Daigo featured in the Cowboys and ninjas storylines.

As the anniversary of this page approaches its a time of introspection and Change as the operator begins to under who he is, and what he stands for. This semi Anthology will be smut heavy.

Monomainia FT Sakura Miyawaki

"To know others is to know oneself" is something many people don't seem to know or understand, and I get it.  I am in a weird spot in that in searching to understand myself, I found the secret to understanding others.

I waltzed into the hotel elevator with an anxious calm that seemed to follow me everywhere I went. the presence of eyes, both seen and unseen made me feel like I had to perform. I had to be "on" but one day I could be off, and hopefully that day would come soon. The elevator dings and spits me out.

I begin walking to my room. the bizarre carpet pattern peculiarly scratches my brain. it's familiar but alien. A link fence of Hexagonal shapes that seems to resemble something in my mind but I can't place it. The color is midnight blue, surrounded by a lighter sky blue, with hard black lines shaping more Hexagons in a greater pattern. It is almost reminiscent of a game board, regardless of when I reach my room. As I enter a young lady is exiting her room. She has dark hair and a smaller stature but her face is remarkably stunning. Her face looks soft like cotton or silk. She walked past with a focused, guarded, and stern face, but when she made eye contact with me her expression became soft and open. She smiles as if knowing she had me under her spell.

"Hello there," she says with an adorable accent

"what's your name?" she asks

"Oh um, Daigo is short for...that's not important what's yours?"

The young woman smirked and said, "Smooth. My name is Sakura." Her plump lips began to curl further into a mischievous smile as she looked at me. She notices the scar across my nose and says,

"that looks bad what happened." I give her a confused look forgetting that I have a gash on my face. when I remember I respond,

"Oh fencing incident." Sakura looks at me interested.

"Oh that's so cool." she blushes and then realizes what she said,

"I mean your fencing, not the scar, although I like it. It makes you look tough and cool," she says with a smile. I smile back and say,

"Really? Thanks." after that, we stand and stare at each other awkwardly, and then I say, "Well it was nice meeting you Sakura. I am going to turn in for the night. You are welcome to join me." Sakura smiles brightly as she says,

"I'd love to but I have a dinner to attend...wait can I ask you a favor?" Sakura says.

I tilt my head and say, "Tell me and I'll consider it."    

Sakura smiles, "If I got you a suit, would you be willing to join me on this dinner as a plus one?" I look at her she seems sincere, and she's also very stunning. I consider my options and then say, "Sure."

Sakura smiles and grabs my arm. “Great!” she exclaims, dragging me along with her. As she leads me, I feel like a passenger in my own body, noticing little details about her that make my heart flutter. The way her eyes crinkle when she smiles, the way she waddles when she runs because she’s excited—everything about her seemed designed to be as endearing as possible, and I had to admit, it was working on me.

We get into the car with her driver, and Sakura, with a mischievous smile, settles onto my lap in the back seat. She nestles in close, sighing contentedly. “You’re warm,” she murmurs as she presses her cheek against my chest, then adds with a delighted tone, “And you smell nice.”

I laugh softly, and she looks up at me with the cutest pout. “What’s so funny?” she asks, her eyes wide with curiosity.

Still smiling, I reply, “If you keep this up, I might have to make this relationship a more intimate and long-term one.”

Sakura grins and retorts playfully, “Excuse me, Mister Daigo, but don’t get ahead of yourself. I need to evaluate you just as much as you probably need to evaluate me.”

I nod, my smile widening. “Works for me.”

The car stops in front of a suit shop, and Sakura’s expression shifts to something more serious. “You have 30 minutes to come up with something,” she says with a hint of intimidation before breaking into an encouraging smile. “You got this!”

As I step inside the shop, my plan comes together quickly. Sakura’s wearing a white dress with black accents, so I decide on an off-white suit paired with a black shirt accented by a silvery floral pattern. I race through the store, piecing the outfit together—a cream jacket, matching slacks, and a black shirt with silver accents. For the shoes, I chose white sneakers accented with Caribbean Green, adding a pop of color.

The final touch is the accessories. I opt for silver cufflinks, a watch, and a ring with a Caribbean green stone. To tie it all together, I pick a tie that matches the green from the shoes. As I check out, I glance at my phone and breathe a sigh of relief—7 minutes to spare.

Sakura’s eyes light up when she sees me. “Get changed. I want to see how you look.”

I quickly change, and when I step out, her smile is all the affirmation I need. “Hm, I like it. You look good,” she asserts. I smile back, feeling a surge of confidence as we ride the rest of the way together.

We arrive at the venue, where the air is aromatic but stagnant. The atmosphere inside is thick with various appetites—some more subtle than others. I follow Sakura’s lead, her arm brushing against mine, and an electric jolt of arousal courses through me. I glance at her, feeling confused and slightly dizzy, but she just smiles innocently. Maybe I imagined it.

Seeing my expression, she leans in close, wrapping her arms around mine. Her lips brush my ear as she whispers, “You’re doing so well. Mommy might have to reward you later.” To emphasize her point, she teases my ear with a cautious lick. I take a moment to recover, and when I do, she smiles knowingly and asks, “Did you like it?”

I nod, still reeling from the sensation, as we move further into the venue. Sakura clings to me like a lifeline, her presence both comforting and grounding in this sea of unfamiliar faces.

As I scan the crowd, I notice patterns. The men are dressed almost uniformly in black suit jackets, white shirts, black pants, and black loafers, with white watches and ties that barely introduce any color—mostly reds, blues, and blacks. The women’s attire is similarly monochromatic, with black or white dresses accented by a single color piece or contrasting accessory. All eyes are drawn to Sakura and me as we enter. I catch those gazes—most of them bland and devoid of spark, but a few dripping with disgust and contempt.

Sakura, blissfully unaware of the undercurrents around us, led me to our seats with a smile. As we settled in, two women took their places across the table. One had a stern face and a cold gaze, while the other exuded warmth, almost maternal in her demeanor. The warmer of the two leaned forward with a smile.

"Oh, Sakura, who's this vibrant little peacock you've brought along?"

I glanced at Sakura, catching a fleeting microexpression of annoyance—so brief I almost doubted I saw it. But it was there, a tiny crack in her perfect composure.

"This is Daigo, my plus one for tonight," she replied, her tone smooth but with a hint of steel beneath the surface.

The two women turned to me, offering polite greetings, which I returned just as politely.

"So, Daigo," the colder one, Irene, said with a sharp edge to her voice, "tell us about yourself. It’s not every day Sakura brings someone so... unique."

Sakura’s posture subtly shifted, becoming more guarded, her fingers gripping my arm a bit tighter as if to anchor herself. She cut in before I could respond, "Irene, he’s a little shy, so don’t take it personally if he’s not much of a talker."

I could see that Sakura wasn’t in the mood to do all the social lifting tonight, so I decided to step up.

"I write comics, and screenplays, and I’ve worked on a few games here and there," I said. Their surprise was evident, and I felt Sakura’s grip tighten further, sending that familiar, electrifying sensation surging through me, stronger than before. It hit me so hard that I had to excuse myself to regain my composure.

In the bathroom, I caught sight of a shadow in the mirror, shifting and morphing until it solidified into the form of a man—purple-skinned, with horns, dressed in a red suit jacket, white tie, and black shirt. His eyes met mine, filled with a mix of apprehension and curiosity.

"You’re new around here," he stated, his voice carrying a weight that hung in the air.

I turned to face him directly, but the reflection showed no one behind me.

"Apologies for the confusion," he continued. "I can’t interact with the regular world, thanks to a little self-imposed exile. The name’s Asmodeus. And you are?"

I turned back to the mirror, meeting his gaze. "Nobody," I replied.

"Fair enough. Never trust a demon, after all," Asmodeus said with a knowing smirk. "Yet, you’re different from the rest of them out there. You don’t carry the scent of pining or self-loathing, but something more... potent. Desperation and rage. What’s your story?"

I shrugged, nonchalant. "Sakura brought me here, and she’s pretty captivating."

Asmodeus chuckled, the sound low and almost menacing. "Ah, a joker. Interesting. But let me be clear—I’m the Guardian of this community. If you’re planning to cause trouble, I’d advise against it."

I sighed, feigning exasperation. "Oh, so I’m not part of the community now?"

His eyes narrowed, the air around us thickening. "No, you’re not, and you never will be. You’re an... anomaly."

I couldn’t help but laugh, enjoying the way his calm demeanor cracked. "What is it then? Because I’m Black? No, maybe it’s because I’m American... or could it be—"

He cut me off, his tone sharper now. "It’s because you don’t follow the rules. You spit on tradition and treat this like a game."

"It’s not a game," I replied, my voice dropping to a serious tone. "But it is a competition. Just not with them out there. I’m competing with the man in the mirror."

Asmodeus looked momentarily confused before realization dawned on him. "Ah, yourself."

He laughed again, a sound that sent a chill down my spine. "Well then, Mr. Nobody, I’ll be watching you."

Just then, the door opened, and another person walked in. They froze, their eyes locking onto me—not the demon in the mirror. That confirmed what I’d suspected—I was the only one who could see Asmodeus. The young man leaves hurriedly and I ask Asmodeus,

"Question why is it that I can see you and others can't?"

Asmodeus smiles, "Well I have two theories. One you are a surprisingly strong mage. Or it could be the old fallen angel magic in that those who wish harm to the ones I am guarding. Or it could be something completely different." before the demon man could finish I felt hands grab me and throw me out of the restroom. being out of it for a moment I recovered then shifted my weight. I snapped my fingers and switched to my battle mage armor.

"I knew it. You're Daigovaldo the mage with the stupid names for everything." I sighed as I got up to face the obstacle. He was an unremarkable young man with no real discerning features.

"Who are you...you know what it doesn't matter. I am going to call you Jon, and if you want a fight Jon I will give you one, but keep in mind I don't fight fair." I reply. Jon smiles as he runs up to me. I dodge his first punch before going in to grapple his waist. He backs up a bit too slowly giving me time to switch tactics as I go to trip him. he falls forward onto his face I grab him and suplex him behind me. the floor beneath us cracks, as I look back. Jon's body lay on the floor crumpled. I sigh and then stretch out my left shoulder. I snap my fingers and go back to my suit. thankfully it was still clean.

I walk back to Sakura who smiles when she sees me.

"What kept you?" she asks.

"Um a demon man, and a fight with some random, but don't worry it's handled."

"Great Dinner is about to start and it would be a shame if I didn't have my arm candy present."

I scoff at Sakura's words. "Only Arm candy? Pfft! I'll have you know missy that I am an 8th-level Imagin mage." Sakura smiles at my little brag.

Sakura smiled then whispered, "Not now baby, Mommy needs you to behave. If you do good tonight Mommy promises to treat you right tonight"  

I roll my eyes then say, "You're lucky you're so hot. Otherwise."

"Otherwise what baby? you would have stayed in that hotel, not having the time of your life?" I was about to make a snarky remark when Sakura said, "Please be a good boy mommy will treat you right." My brain shuts down for a moment then I sit and smile at her. Irene coughs and we are taken out of our little world.

"Are you two done flirting?" she questions. her plus-one smacks her.

"Babe stop," Izzy said to us. We then to them slightly dazed.

“That scar on your nose is so interesting How did you get it?” Izzy asked uncomfortably.

“Fencing incident,” I reply calmly.

"oh! That's Interesting, usually, fencers wear a bunch of gear, and even then still use blunted weapons. so what were you doing getting such a deep gash? I don't know much about cuts and scrapes but that looks like it hit bone." Izzy said looking at me with a peculiar look.

"Well, what can I say? I was young and dumb and doing actual sabers for once seemed like a good idea, I knew I should have stuck to knives, hatchets, and hammers." I explained.

"You are most peculiar," Irene says.

I nod and say, "It's kinda intentional. I mean why be like everyone else? you are all so much better at it than I am."

I noticed out of the corner of my eye that Sakura was smiling.

After the Party

Sakura and I get back to the hotel. she can barely keep her hands off of me, and honestly, I feel the same. While we got in the car very chaste and relaxed it quickly heated as she began to grind her hips into my crotch. Our eyes locked and the spark was lit a blaze. she brought me in for a fiery kiss that was not chaste at all.

I felt her tongue poke into mine and she very demandingly put my hands on her breasts. Not that I was complaining the perkiness combined with the passion of the kiss was a delightful experience overall would recommend it, but that was not enough for Sakura. She smiled as she broke the kiss but it wasn't a happy smile it was the smile of a predator who found its next meal. she brought me in for another kiss as she began to straddle my lap.

"God this suit you picked is so nice plus the shoes and the jewelry. Amazing touch," she said before diving in for another hungry kiss. feeling bold I had my tongue explore her mouth this time, and I felt her moan. when she broke the kiss. she looked at me with hungry eyes before taking off her dress. She wore sexy lace lingerie that contrasted her pale figure.

“Fuck me like you own me, babe,” Sakura demands and I lose all self-control. I slip out of my clothes and align my cock with her unshaven glistening pussy. She looks at me with two pools of lust she calls eyes. I plunge into her claiming her for myself. She moans as I bottom out inside of her. “Oh fuck,” she moans before I stop thrusting her insides greet and accept me like an old friend. As I thrust in and out of her she moans like crazy,

“Fuck you are gonna drive me crazy with that cock you know?” Sakura said as her gaze was locked on mine I thrust into her pussy again and felt sublime as her nails dug into my back.

“Aw fuck baby! Mommy loves what you're doing!” Sakura moans exuberant. Her encouragement pushes me to go deeper in her. As I do I rest my left hand on her breast and my right on her ass. She grits her teeth before saying, “Ah fuck yes you own me. This is your pussy now.” as she speaks she begins to grind into me. I continue my assault on her body until she can't take more. Sakura cums all over my cock. Yelling and screaming as I continued railing her.

Subsequently, when she relaxed she said, “Well continue this in your room!” her eyes lusted over as she looked out the tinted windows to notice the car

Lunar shift ft Moon Sua @dreamcatchers-husband

I woke up next to Kura who was all smiles.

"Morning handsome," she said Happily. I smile back.

“and what would be my pleasure having the cutest girl in the world in my bed today?” I ask

Kura smiles then says, “Well my boyfriend was tired last night when I got home after a long night of supporting me so I figured I might as well give him something pleasant to wake up to.”

“Oh, this is certainly pleasant,” I respond. Sakura smiles brighter then says,

“Well, you're lucky my boyfriend isn't here. he is the toughest guy I know." I smile as I get up.

"I hope he's okay sharing you and his place. this bed is very comfy." Sakura smiles as we both get up and get ready for the day

she looked at my back and noticed a new tattoo...

"OOh what's that?" she says as she narrows her eyes...

"it is Thoth. The Egyptian god of wisdom."

Sakura tilted her head, "Oh a god but isn't that against your beliefs?"

"it would be if I hadn't met him."

"Oh, really when?"

Before I could answer there was a knock at the door. I looked at Kura confused. She shrugged before saying. "Are you expecting anyone?" I shook my head. she pushed me to the door of my apartment as she was only in her bra and panties. I sighed opening the door barely enough.

To my surprise at the door was Moon Sua. She had a desperate look at her.

"Can I come in?" she asked. I raised an eyebrow and turned to Kura who had put on one of the Kimono's she got me. (the size difference between us made it look like a full robe on her.) She nods and I let Moon Sua in

I gesture to the couch and she sits, but she's nervous and fidgety.

"Would you like something to drink?" I ask and she shakes her head. I nod and then look to Kura for guidance.

"I can't believe I am doing this, but I need your help Daigo."

I looked at her dumbfounded then at Kura, then back to Moon Sua.

"With what?"

"Werewolves." Moon Sua said. I laughed and clapped my hands as I got up.

"well if monsters, magic, or machines are a problem you came to the right person," I replied.

"Do you know the clan, and if they have turned DC yet?"

"How'd you know this was about DC?"

"Because I am not dumb," I responded

"So what's the clan."

"The Whale clan of the northeast." Moon Sua said.

I titled my head in confusion "Wait...Really? I could have sworn they were pacifist. Tell me that story,"

"Okay," Moon Sua said.

Flash Back

Moon Sua's gaze lingered on her man. A lustful smile spread across her lips as she leisurely stroked his rod.

"You know they say a man's pleasure spot is in his ass." Moon Sua hints as she takes a long lick along the shaft of DC. DC moans as her vigilant gaze pierces his and her expert hands massage his manhood. Moon Sua opens her mouth and takes DC inch by inch with a tortuously slow pace. DC moans as Moon Sua fully engulfs his rod.

"Ah, Fuck Luna if you keep that up I'm gonna cum." DC gasps as the pleasure rakes his brain to the point of enfeeblement. Moon Sua watched as his precum oozed lazily out of his cock like an active volcano.

“Do it then,” Moon Sua said with dangerous eyes, and DC had no other choice as the pleasure got to him. Moon Sua noticed that his cock was throbbing and that he was close so she attempted to take him deeper and deeper. He pumped his cum down her throat and Moon Sua greedily swallowed it all. After she was done she licked her lips satisfied.

Back to the present

I exchanged a glance with Kura before turning my attention back to Moon Sua, who was visibly anxious.

“Okay, let’s backtrack a bit. How does… well, your morning routine relate to him getting kidnapped?” I asked gently, trying to steer the conversation back to the issue at hand. Moon Sua blushed, realizing she had started to ramble.

“Right, sorry. I got a little sidetracked. After… well, after that, I went to shower, and when I came back, DC was being dragged out of the house by werewhales.” She quickly pulled out her phone to show me a picture, her hands trembling slightly.

I studied the image, recognizing the distinct markings of the werewhale clan. I sighed, running a hand through my hair.

“Oh, great. Just what I needed today,” I muttered before getting up. I dressed quickly, my mind already racing with possible strategies. With a glance back at Kura, I nodded to her reassuringly, then teleported directly to the wereorca den.

It didn’t take long before I encountered one of them, a large wereorca standing guard. She eyed me warily, but I wasn’t in the mood for a standoff.

“Look, I’m here for a guy, about five-eight, blonde hair, goes by DC. Is he here?” I asked, keeping my tone firm yet neutral. The wereorca’s expression softened as she realized I wasn’t here to cause trouble.

“Oh, are you here for the wedding?” she asked, her tone unexpectedly friendly now that she saw I wasn’t a threat.

“Wedding?” I echoed, caught off guard.

She smiled, gesturing for me to follow her. She led me to a room where DC was sitting, looking rather disgruntled. When he saw me, his shoulders slumped in exasperation.

“Of course, it’s you,” he muttered, rubbing his temples.

I raised my hands in a gesture of peace. “Hey, man, Moon Sua was worried. She asked me to help out, so here I am. But what’s this about a wedding?”

DC sighed heavily, clearly not thrilled to explain. “I’m the heir to the werebat tribe, and I’m supposed to marry the heir to the wereorca tribe.”

“And you’ve been dating Moon Sua this whole time? Scandalous,” I remarked, trying to process the situation.

“Geez, do you ever take anything seriously?” DC snapped, his frustration evident. “Look, this is a mess, but can you just bring Moon Sua here? She’s the only one who can talk some sense into these people.”

I nodded, sensing the gravity of his situation despite his snark. “Alright, hold tight.” With a quick snap of my fingers, Moon Sua appeared beside me, looking surprised but relieved to see DC.

DC sighed in relief as Moon Sua quickly moved to his side, her presence already helping to defuse the tension. I took a step back, watching the two of them, and couldn’t help but feel a sense of satisfaction at having helped them, even in this strange situation.

As I stepped out, giving Moon Sua and DC some space, I nearly bumped into someone else. Luckily I was able to catch this person before the fell. When I recovered and was no longer running on instinct I was able to register the other person’s face and color me surprised it was Jihyo from Twice. I paused for a moment then helped her back up. She smiled and then said

“Wow, you're um strong. Thanks for not letting me fall and…Oh, hi! How’s it going?” she asked, her tone light and pleasant.

I managed a smile. “Uh, good… It’s good,” I replied, trying to keep my cool.

She glanced back toward the room. “I see you found DC. Did you get everything sorted out?”

“Well, we’re getting there, but that’s not really what’s important right now,” I said, noticing her expression had dimmed slightly. “What about you? Are you okay?”

Jihyo hesitated, shrugging as if to brush off my concern. “It’s nothing, really.”

I wasn’t about to let it go that easily. “Hey, if something’s bothering you, I’m here to help.”

Before she could protest, I snapped my fingers, teleporting us back to my place. Kura looked up from where she was sitting, her eyes widening in surprise but softening as she smiled at Jihyo. Sakura used to my antics brought some tea over to Mrs. Park.

I glanced over at Kura and Jihyo, who were seated comfortably on the couch. “I’m going to grab some food. Anything specific you both want?”

Kura flashed me a playful smile. “Surprise us.”

Jihyo nodded in agreement. “Yeah, we trust your taste.”

“Alright, I’ll be back soon,” I said, grabbing my jacket before heading out the door. As I walked down the street, I couldn’t help but think about how interesting it was to see those two together. I picked up the pace, eager to get back and see what they might be talking about while I was gone.

As the door clicked shut behind me, the room settled into a comfortable silence. Kura glanced over at Jihyo, who was still taking in the cozy surroundings of my apartment.

“So,” Kura began, tucking her legs under herself on the couch, “how did you end up involved in all this supernatural craziness?”

Jihyo chuckled softly, looking slightly embarrassed. “It’s a long story, really. But I guess you could say I kind of stumbled into it. When I was a trainee my friend one of my friends was a wereorca and I kinda was adopted into their clan.”

Kura’s eyes sparkled with amusement. “I never imagined I’d meet someone who could say that with a straight face.”

Jihyo laughed, her tension easing. “Yeah, it’s definitely not something I thought I’d be dealing with. But life is crazy…um what about Daigo… he makes it all seem so normal, you know?”

Kura nodded thoughtfully. “He has that effect. He’s been in my life for a while now, and I still can’t believe half the things we’ve gone through. But he’s always so calm, so collected. It’s like nothing ever rattles him. Well except for pretty girls who are nice to him, they always activate his “hero chip”.”

“Oh, so he did the same thing to you? The stammering and short stutter,” Jihyo added with a knowing smile.

Kura blushed slightly, looking down at her hands. “He can be a little overprotective and easily flustered sometimes, but I guess that’s part of his charm.”

Jihyo leaned in a bit closer, lowering her voice conspiratorially. “So, what’s the story between you two? You seem really close.”

Kura smiled softly, her eyes warm. “We are. We met in a hotel right before I had to go to a major dinner for writers, and He’s been my rock through so much, always there when I needed him. But it’s more than that. We just… get each other, you know? Like we don’t even have to say anything, and we know what the other is thinking.”

Jihyo nodded, a small smile playing on her lips. “That’s rare. I think it’s beautiful.”

Jihyo paused for a moment then asked, “So what do you think he's thinking now?”

Kura gave a knowing smile, “I have to help Jihyo, and get breakfast for Kura then help Moon Sua and DC. In that order.”

Jihyo laughed, “Why am I over you?”

“Well, he has a massive crush on you, which is partially my fault because I encouraged it,”

Jihyo chuckled as she asked, “Why?”

“Because he always talks so highly of you from a professional perspective that even though his appreciation went more I couldn't take that from him. He is a Once through and through with a massive Jihyo bias.” Kura explained

Jihyo’s heart fluttered as she said “Oh,”

Kura looked up, her expression turning serious for a moment. “And what about you? Is there anyone special in your life?”

Jihyo hesitated, her thoughts drifting for a moment. “I’m not sure,” she finally admitted. “It’s complicated. But being around Daigo and seeing how he is with you… it makes me wonder if maybe I’m missing out on something.”

Kura reached out, gently placing a hand on Jihyo’s arm. “You deserve someone who makes you feel like the most important person in the world, Jihyo. Don’t settle for anything less.”

Jihyo smiled, her heart warmed by Kura’s words. “Thank you, Kura. That means a lot.”

Just then, they heard the door open, and Daigo walked back in, balancing a couple of takeout bags in his arms.

“I hope you’re hungry,” he said with a grin, completely oblivious to the heartfelt conversation that had just taken place.

Kura and Jihyo exchanged a look, a silent understanding passing between them, before turning their attention to the food Daigo had brought.

Variance FT Jihyo Park and Sakura Miyawaki

The soft clink of dishes filled the room as I carefully set the table. The warm, ambient light casts a gentle glow over everything, making the space feel cozy and intimate. I glanced over my shoulder to see Jihyo and Kura sitting on the couch, chatting softly. Their laughter echoed through the room, bringing a smile to my face as I continued with my task.

As I placed the last plate down, Kura’s voice floated across the room. “Jihyo, do you remember that concert you did in Tokyo last year?”

Jihyo’s eyes lit up. “How could I forget? The energy was incredible.”

Kura leaned forward, her eyes glimmering mischievously. “And that dance move you pulled off during ‘Feel Special’? You had everyone’s jaws on the floor, including mine.”

Jihyo chuckled, her gaze flickering to me for a moment before returning to Kura. “I noticed, you know. You weren’t exactly subtle with your admiration.”

Kura blushed slightly, but her smile didn’t waver. “Well, who could resist? You were magnetic.”

I busied myself with arranging the cutlery, but I could feel their eyes wander over to me—a shared look passing between them that I couldn’t quite place.

Jihyo’s voice softened as she turned to me. “What about you, Daigo? You went to the LA one right? Did you enjoy the show?”

I looked up, meeting her gaze. There was something playful in the way she looked at me, a challenge in her smile. “Of course,” I replied, returning her smile. “All of Twice was incredible. The way you moved on stage… I don’t think there was a person in the audience who wasn’t captivated.”

Kura stretched her arms above her head in a way that drew my attention. “Captivated, huh? I wonder if you were paying more attention to the performance… or to the performers?”

I felt a heat rise to my cheeks but tried to play it cool as I folded the napkins. “Maybe a little of both,” I admitted, earning a laugh from both women.

Jihyo nudged Kura playfully with her elbow. “Looks like we’ve got his attention, Kura. Think we can keep it?”

Kura’s eyes sparkled with mischief. “Oh, I think we can manage that. Right, Daigo?”

I glanced between them, their playful banter bringing a warmth to the room that I hadn’t expected. “You two don’t need to do anything special to keep my attention. You already have it,” I said, my voice genuine.

Jihyo stood up and walked over to the table, her movements graceful and deliberate. She reached out, taking one of the plates from me with a smile that sent a flutter through my chest. “You always say the sweetest things,” she murmured, her fingers brushing mine as she took the plate.

Kura joined us at the table, her eyes meeting Jihyo’s with a soft smile. “He does, doesn’t he? It’s one of the reasons I keep him around.”

Jihyo glanced at me, her expression thoughtful. “You’re lucky, Kura. He’s a good one.”

Kura looked at me with a warmth that made my heart swell. “I know. But maybe we’re both lucky.”

The three of us stood there, the space between us filled with unspoken words and shared understanding. It was as if, in that moment, we were all connected by something deeper, something that went beyond words.

As I finished setting the table, a sense of contentment washed over me. Whatever this was between us, it felt right. It felt like home.

As we settled around the table, a slight tension lingered in the air—a nervous energy that buzzed between us. I served the dishes, my hands were just a bit more careful than usual, conscious of every movement.

Kura was the first to take a bite, her expression brightening as she tasted the food. “Daigo, this is really good,” she said, her tone light but genuine. “You’ve got some serious skills.”

I smiled, trying to downplay the compliment. “Just wanted to make sure you two were comfortable. It’s nothing special.”

Jihyo took a bite as well, nodding in agreement. “I’d say it’s pretty special. You’ve really outdone yourself.”

A moment of silence followed as we all focused on our plates, the clinking of silverware the only sound in the room. I could feel the weight of unspoken words, questions none of us were quite ready to ask.

“So, Jihyo,” Kura began, her voice slightly more hesitant than usual, “what’s it like leading Twice? I imagine it’s a lot to handle.”

Jihyo smiled, though it didn’t quite reach her eyes. “It’s… intense, but rewarding. I love my members, and I try my best to support them. But yeah, it can be overwhelming at times.”

Kura nodded, her gaze softening. “I bet. But from what I’ve seen, you’re doing an amazing job.”

Jihyo’s eyes flickered to mine, then back to Kura’s. “Thank you. That means a lot, especially coming from someone like you.”

I watched the interaction, noting the way their eyes met and how their hands lingered just a little too close when Kura reached for the salt. There was something there—something more than just casual friendliness—but none of us seemed ready to address it. It made me feel a dip in my heart, almost like I was watching myself be replaced.

“Daigo,” Jihyo’s voice broke through my thoughts, “what about you? What’s been on your mind lately?”

I blinked, caught off guard by the question. “Oh, uh, just the usual, I guess. Thinking about taking a break soon. Maybe a trip somewhere quiet.”

Kura tilted her head, curiosity in her gaze. “Where were you thinking of going?”

“I’m not sure,” I said, trying to sound nonchalant. “Somewhere peaceful. Maybe the mountains, or a beach.”

Jihyo’s eyes lit up, her tone casual but with a hint of something more. “That sounds nice. Maybe… maybe we could join you?”

My heart skipped a beat at the suggestion, and I noticed Kura’s eyes widen just a bit like she hadn’t expected Jihyo to voice what she might have been thinking herself. It was an odd expression that made my heart and stomach twist in confused knots.

“Yeah,” Kura added, her voice a little too eager, “that could be fun. Just the three of us, getting away from everything.”

The idea hung in the air, heavy with implications. I looked between the two of them, trying to gauge their reactions. Jihyo was looking down at her plate, a faint blush on her cheeks, while Kura was biting her lip, waiting for someone to break the silence. There was an air of affection between us, but I was unsure how to address or diffuse it.

“I… I’d like that,” I finally said, my voice sounding more uncertain than I intended.

Jihyo glanced up, her eyes meeting mine with a softness that made my breath catch. “Me too,” she murmured.

Kura nodded, her smile more shy than usual. “It would be nice. Just to get away for a bit.”

We fell into another stretch of silence, but this time it wasn’t uncomfortable. It felt like we were all thinking the same thing but weren’t quite ready to say it out loud. The unspoken attraction, the curiosity about what might happen if we took that next step—it was all there, simmering just below the surface.

As we continued eating, the conversation remained light, but the tension never really went away. Every now and then, I’d catch one of them glancing at me or each other, their eyes holding something unspoken. I knew they could feel it too—that strange mix of excitement and uncertainty that comes with realizing you might be falling for someone, or in this case, two someone.

When we finally finished the meal and moved to the couch, I felt a bit of relief that the focus shifted from the awkward tension to something more familiar—just the three of us, sharing a quiet moment. But even then, I couldn’t shake the feeling that something was shifting between us, something we’d have to face sooner or later.

As I watched them laugh together, their shoulders brushing more often than necessary, I realized I didn’t mind the idea of that shift. I was starting to look forward to it. We all ended up on the couch watching Alien 3 at Sakura’s insistence (despite her scaredy-cat tendencies).

The movie, at least to me, was quite funny. It was a back-to-basics Alien film that suffered from typical problems: character bloat, protagonist nerfing intelligence, and that abomination in the third act reminded me of the orphan Kos. This led me to laugh throughout major tension points, making it harder for the girls to get scared. Both nestled closer to me and out of the corner of my eye, I saw Sakura and Jihyo holding hands. I decided to let them have their moment for now.

At some point after the movie, we sat in silence, nestled close to each other. The heat mingling between us made being under them a bit too warm for me, so I had to excuse myself.

When I returned, both ladies had fallen asleep. I smiled watching them entwined in their little hug before getting them a blanket to share—ironically, my "Ready to be Blanket."

I tucked both young ladies in on the couch and went to my room, where I attempted to get some sleep. This mountain trip couldn't come soon enough.

Weeks passed, and these feelings only grew between us. The mountain trip eventually turned into a Jeju trip, and on the day we were leaving and packing, it all hit me at once: I loved Jihyo and Sakura. I tried to process what that meant or how that worked but was interrupted by Jihyo saying, “Come on, slowpoke—we have a plane to catch.” I nodded and finished packing to follow them.

We arrived at the cabin four hours later, and it took another half hour to finish unpacking. The sun had begun its slow descent toward the horizon, painting the sky with hues of orange and pink as I placed the last of our bags down. The beach house was quaint, with a cozy, rustic charm that perfectly complemented the breathtaking view of the ocean stretching out before us. The sound of waves crashing against the shore provided a soothing backdrop to our activities.

Sakura’s POV

I glanced up from the counter, my eyes drifting to Jihyo, who stood on the deck, her silhouette bathed in the warm light of the setting sun. It was a sight that made my heart ache with a sweet, aching feeling. I’d been spending a lot of time thinking about how everything had shifted since we arrived here. A new kind of closeness was forming between us, something both exhilarating and terrifying.

As I reached for a jar of jam, I caught myself smiling. This place, this moment, seemed to heighten everything I felt for Daigo and Jihyo. I knew I was falling for them, but I was still grappling with how to navigate these feelings. Did they feel the same way? Did Daigo’s heart race like mine did when he looked at us?

Jihyo’s POV

I leaned on the deck railing, my thoughts drifting as the sun dipped lower in the sky. The view was mesmerizing, but it was the company that made everything so special. I could feel a new intensity between us, a connection that seemed to deepen with every shared glance and every touch.

I stole a glance back into the house, where Sakura and Daigo were finishing up. The way Daigo looked at Sakura, with that tender, almost protective gaze, made my heart flutter. And when he looked at me, it was with a warmth that made me question my feelings. Could it be possible to want both of them, to be this close to them and not feel like it was too much?

Narrator’s POV

I finished tidying up and made my way outside, joining Jihyo on the deck. As I approached, I couldn’t help but notice how the setting sun highlighted her features, making her look even more captivating.

“Hey,” I said, trying to sound casual as I leaned against the railing beside her. “It’s beautiful out here.”

Jihyo turned to me, her eyes reflecting the sunset. “It is. I’m glad we came here. It feels… peaceful.”

I nodded, my heart skipping a beat as I felt the closeness between us. “Yeah, it’s exactly what we needed.”

The silence between us was comfortable but charged. I could sense the same tension that had been building since we arrived—an unspoken acknowledgment of the feelings we all harbored but hadn’t yet voiced.

We arrive at that cabin 4 hours later and it takes another half hour to finish unpacking. The sun had begun its slow descent toward the horizon, painting the sky with hues of orange and pink as I finished unpacking the last of our bags. The beach house was quaint, with a cozy, rustic charm that seemed to perfectly complement the breathtaking view of the ocean stretching out before us. The sound of the waves crashing against the shore provided a soothing backdrop to our activities.

Sakura was in the kitchen, humming softly as she organized our groceries. Her light laughter carried through the open space whenever she accidentally bumped into something or dropped a utensil. I could see Jihyo out on the deck, taking in the sunset with a wistful look on her face.

Sakura’s POV

I glanced up from the counter, my eyes drifting to Jihyo, who was standing on the deck, her silhouette bathed in the warm light of the setting sun. It was a sight that made my heart ache with a sweet, aching feeling. I’d been spending a lot of time thinking about how everything had shifted since we arrived here. There was a new kind of closeness forming between us, something that was both exhilarating and terrifying.

As I reached for a jar of jam, I caught myself smiling. This place, this moment, seemed to heighten everything I felt for Daigo and Jihyo. I knew I was falling for them, but I was still grappling with how to navigate these feelings. Did they feel the same way? Did Daigo’s heart race like mine did when he looked at us?

Jihyo’s POV

I leaned on the deck railing, my thoughts drifting as the sun dipped lower in the sky. The view was mesmerizing, but it was the company that made everything so special. I could feel a new intensity between us, a connection that seemed to deepen with every shared glance and every touch.

I stole a glance back into the house, where Sakura and Daigo were finishing up. The way Daigo looked at Sakura, with that tender, almost protective gaze, made my heart flutter. And when he looked at me, it was with a warmth that made me question my feelings. Could it be possible to want both of them, to be this close to them and not feel like it was too much?

Narrator’s POV

I finished tidying up and made my way outside, joining Jihyo on the deck. As I approached, I couldn’t help but notice the way the setting sun highlighted her features, making her look even more captivating.

“Hey,” I said, trying to sound casual as I leaned against the railing beside her. “It’s beautiful out here.”

Jihyo turned to me, her eyes reflecting the sunset. “It is. I’m glad we came here. It feels… peaceful.”

I nodded, my heart skipping a beat as I felt the closeness between us. “Yeah, it’s exactly what we needed.”

The silence between us was comfortable, but it was also charged. I could sense the same tension that had been building since we arrived, an unspoken acknowledgment of the feelings we all had but hadn’t yet put into words.

Sakura’s pov

I watched them from the kitchen window, feeling a pang of longing. Seeing Daigo and Jihyo together like this, the way they shared that quiet, intense moment, made my heart ache with a bittersweet desire. I was caught between wanting to bridge the gap and fearing that any move I made might disrupt the fragile balance we were all trying to maintain.

I took a deep breath and decided to join them. I stepped out onto the deck, the cool evening breeze ruffling my hair. “Isn’t it getting a bit chilly out here?” I asked, trying to break the tension. “I thought we could start a fire and roast some marshmallows.”

Daigo looked up, his eyes meeting mine with a soft smile. “That sounds like a great idea. I’ll get the fire started.”

Jihyo’s gaze lingered on Daigo for a moment before she turned to me, her eyes shining with an emotion that made my heart race. “I’ll help you with that,” she said, her voice gentle but filled with an undercurrent of something deeper.

As we set up the fire pit, the conversation flowed naturally, but the unspoken feelings between us hung heavy in the air. Every touch, every glance, seemed charged with meaning. We laughed, we talked, and we enjoyed the simple pleasure of being together, but the underlying tension was never far from the surface.

Narrator’s POV

As the fire crackled and the warmth spread through the cool evening air, I watched Sakura and Jihyo interact. The way they looked at each other, the gentle touches, and the shared laughter, it was clear that our feelings were intensifying. I wanted to be honest with them, but the fear of complicating things or hurting anyone held me back.

In the back of my mind, I knew that we were on the verge of something significant, something that could either bring us closer together or drive us apart. I just hoped that, whatever happened, we’d all come out of this with our hearts intact.

For now, we were here, enjoying each other’s company and the beautiful night. And while I wasn’t ready to confront my feelings fully, I was grateful for this moment, this night of shared warmth and closeness. After dinner Jihyo and Kura were sitting at the table, As I stood in the kitchen, pouring drinks, my mind kept drifting back to Kura and Jihyo. There was a warmth between them that I couldn’t ignore, a connection that had started to form almost without any of us realizing it. It was comforting, but at the same time, it terrified me.

I’ve always tried to keep things simple, especially when it comes to relationships. But this… this wasn’t simple. Not at all.

I took a deep breath, trying to shake off the uncertainty creeping in. Sakura and I had something special. She’d been by my side through so much, and I never wanted to do anything that might hurt her. But then there was Jihyo—bright, kind-hearted Jihyo, who seemed to fit so effortlessly into our lives. Every time I saw her, my heart did this little flip, and I wasn’t sure what to make of it.

Could I feel this way about both of them? Was it fair to either of them?

As I walked back toward the living room, I paused just outside the door. Their voices carried through the slight crack, and I couldn’t help but listen.

Jihyo shifted on the couch, turning slightly to face Kura. “You know,” she began, her voice soft and thoughtful, “I’ve never really done anything like this before.”

“Like what?” Kura asked, her curiosity piqued.

“Like… spending time with someone who feels so—" Jihyo hesitated, searching for the right word, "right. And not just one person, but two.” She bit her lip, glancing down at her hands. “It’s confusing, but in a good way, I think.”

Kura smiled, her eyes warm as she reached out to gently touch Jihyo’s arm. “I know what you mean. It’s like everything just clicks, doesn’t it? With Daigo, and with you… It feels like there’s something here worth exploring, even if it’s a little scary.”

Her words hit me like a ton of bricks. I hadn’t realized how much this was weighing on them too. Kura was always so composed, so sure of herself. And yet, even she sounded hesitant like she was stepping into uncharted territory.

Could this work? Could I be with both of them and not end up hurting everyone involved? The thought of hurting Kura made my chest tighten. And Jihyo… what if I ended up causing her more pain than anything else?

I’d never been this unsure before. I’d faced monsters and dealt with magical disasters, but this… this was something else entirely. My feelings for both of them were real, but how could I possibly reconcile them without ruining everything?

Jihyo looked up, her gaze locking with Kura’s. “I think about him, and I think about you, and it’s like… I don’t have to choose, you know? It doesn’t feel wrong, it just feels… different.”

Kura nodded, her thumb gently stroking Jihyo’s arm. “It is different, but maybe that’s not a bad thing. Maybe it’s something special.”

Their words sent a shiver down my spine. This wasn’t just about me—this was about all of us. And yet, the idea of them both feeling the same way I did, of them wanting this to work as much as I did… it was terrifying and exhilarating all at once.

But there was still that nagging doubt. I’d always wanted to be the kind of person who could protect those I cared about, who could be there for them no matter what. But what if this time, I was the one who needed protecting? What if I wasn’t strong enough to keep things from falling apart?

I took a deep breath, pushed the door open, and stepped back into the room.

Kura’s hand slipped from Jihyo’s arm to her hand, their fingers mingled as I meandered in with their drinks.

���One chocolate milkshake for you (I hand it to Jihyo) one vanilla shake for you (I hand it to Sakura) and one Oreo shake for me,” I say as I dole out drinks and scoot in between them. Jihyo takes her first sip and coos.

“Oh, Daigo how did you accomplish this? It's so good.” Sakura nods as she takes her first sip. I smile as I reply

“Well love a magician never reveals his secrets. As soon as I said that the atmosphere changed. The tension between all of us became taught.

“Oh I'm love now,” Jihyo teased seductively as she put her hands on my thigh. I turn to Sakura who's super into this. “I thought love was reserved for girlfriends according to you Mr…what is your last name again?” I swallowed hard as I felt Kura nude me towards Jihyo. My heart races as our faces get closer. My gaze lingers on Jihyo's lips and I can't help it. I kiss Jihyo. Jihyo moans into the kiss

“Hey, are you done?” Kura asks flirty my mind breaks, and I run Out of the house.

I kinda black out from the adrenaline and come to the next day.

The first light of dawn broke over the horizon, casting a soft, golden glow across the beach. I woke early, unable to shake the restlessness from the previous night. The tension between Jihyo, Sakura, and me had only grown more palpable, and I needed to clear my head.

As I stood up, the cool morning air greeted me, refreshing and invigorating. I walked down the sand toward the edge of the water, where the waves gently lapped against the shore. It was a serene scene, but I found little solace in it—until a familiar presence made itself known.

Thoth appeared beside me, his form taking shape out of the morning mist. The Egyptian god of wisdom, now in his human guise, looked at me with a mixture of curiosity and concern.

“Good morning, Daigo,” Thoth said, his voice a soothing blend of authority and calm.

I turned to him with a half-hearted smile. “Morning, Thoth. I didn’t expect to see you so early.”

Thoth inclined his head slightly. “I thought it would be beneficial for us to have a quiet conversation before the others wake up. There are things on your mind, are there not?”

I sighed, my gaze returning to the horizon. “Yeah, there are. Things have been… complicated lately. I’m trying to figure out my feelings for these two girls I'm in love with: Jihyo and Sakura. It’s just—” I paused, struggling to find the right words.

Thoth’s expression remained attentive and calm. “Complicated, indeed. It seems that your heart is caught in a delicate balance. Care to share more?”

I began walking along the water’s edge, Thoth matching my pace. The sand was still cool beneath my feet, and the rhythmic sound of the waves provided a gentle backdrop to our conversation.

“I care deeply for both Sakura and Jihyo,” I said, my voice heavy with emotion. “But I’m worried that my feelings might be unfair to either of them. I want to be honest and loyal, but I’m afraid of causing harm. And then there’s the fear of them finding out that I’m struggling with my feelings.”

Thoth listened intently, his gaze fixed ahead. “It is commendable that you consider their well-being so thoroughly. However, it is also important to acknowledge your feelings. You cannot truly honor your relationships if you are not honest with yourself and with them.”

I nodded, taking in his words. “I know. It’s just hard to find the right balance. I don’t want to make any mistakes that could hurt them.”

Thoth’s gaze softened a rare display of empathy for a deity known for his wisdom. “Understand that being honest and true to your feelings is not a mistake. It is the path to clarity and genuine connection. If you navigate this journey with integrity, you will find a resolution that honors both your heart and theirs, but you haven't answered my question how do you feel about them?”

I shrugged and said, “I love them.”

Thoth nodded and asked, “Well why do you love them?”

“Well, it's complicated. My feelings are intense but they don't overlap,”

Thoth tilted his head and then said, “Tell me more.”

I thought for a moment then began to pour my guts out.

“I love them because Sakura makes me feel like I'm a normal person and Jihyo makes me feel normal.”

Thoth turned to me and said, “Explain”

“Both girls are these ambitious talented hard workers who have been in the idol industry forever. They may have wavered but remain strong and unbroken despite the years of sadness, sometimes abuse of hope, and standing strong despite it all.

Jihyo is the leader of the most powerful girl group in the world that has been on top for ten years. Yet she is still kind and ambitious in trying to prove herself despite the accolades and success. Sakura has been an idol since she was a kid and has consistently shown she is a force in and of herself not to be trampled with nor trifles, and what am I? Some loser mage from a wasteland. Sure I'm a powerful mage and a decent writer but I'm not nearly as great as them.” I reply. Thoth smiles and asks

“Why do you think that?”

“Because fundamentally I am not a good person. What drives me is an unrelenting yearning to be the best and for there to be no one else close. Why do you think I am always watching and researching other writers and mages I don't want to fall behind.

I had to carve a lane for myself and build it from nothing somehow I made it (surprisingly) but it was not from a place of altruism or kindness it was because I wanted it more than my peers. Same with Sakura and Jihyo. I am 100% sure in my delusion that I want them more than others and I took my chances and made my calculated moves to “get them”

Please note while I am a fundamentally despicable human being I believe that you should respect the autonomy of others, and that is where my hesitancy comes from. I want what I want and I'll do whatever it takes to get it, and my biggest fear is hurting those close to me in that pursuit. That's what makes me the best and the worst at what I do. There is nothing I'm not willing to do for what I want. Now getting back to the original point. Sakura is so self-assured and calm in herself that I don't feel like a monster around her like I don't feel like this Machiavellian villain, and with Jihyo she makes me feel like I am okay the way I am. She's encouraging and understanding and has the same fire I do. So if you're expecting me to choose I can't because I want them both.” I yelled. I didn't have a reason to yell but something about this conversation riled me up and once I was up I yelled. Thoth smiled knowingly and said well If that's the case some ladies are waiting for you. Let's head back to them,” he said

We continued walking, the silence between us now more contemplative. I watched as the sun slowly climbed higher, its light warming the sand and the waves. The peaceful morning seemed to amplify the gravity of our conversation, but it also provided a sense of calm.

“I appreciate your guidance,” I said after a moment. “It helps to have a clearer perspective.”

Thoth nodded, his form shimmering slightly in the light. “Remember, Daigo, the journey of the heart is rarely straightforward. It is a path of growth and learning. Trust in your judgment, and be vulnerable with those you care about.”

I turned to him, a small smile tugging at my lips. “Thanks, Thoth. I’ll keep that in mind.”

As we approached the end of the beach, Thoth’s form began to fade, his presence receding like the morning mist. “I shall leave you to your thoughts. May the clarity you seek find its way to you.”

With that, Thoth disappeared, leaving me alone once more. The morning felt a little lighter, and the path ahead seemed clearer. As I walked back toward the beach house, I felt a renewed sense of determination to face the complexities of my feelings with honesty and courage.

I arrive a little later to see my—wait, did I just think “my”?—girls sitting on the couch. Their faces are a mix of worry and determination. As I open the door, they both look up, and I’m met with two very different expressions. Jihyo’s face lights up with the brightest smile, while Sakura’s is stern, frustration etched in her eyes.

“There you are,” Jihyo exclaims, practically leaping from the couch as she runs toward me. Her smile is like sunshine breaking through the clouds. But then I catch Sakura’s expression again, and it’s like a storm is brewing just behind her eyes.

“Where have you been?” Sakura asks, her tone sharp with annoyance. I shrug, unsure how to respond. The truth is, I’ve been running—not just physically, but emotionally. And I know Kura can see right through me.

“What do you mean you don’t know?” she snaps, her frustration boiling over. “You ran away after kissing Jihyo—why?”

I open my mouth to answer, but the words catch in my throat. What can I even say? That I’m scared? That I don’t think I’m good enough for them? That the kiss with Jihyo left me reeling, not just because of what it meant for us, but because of the weight of what I felt.

I try to piece together a response, but my thoughts are jumbled, each one more uncertain than the last. My hesitation only seems to make Sakura more frustrated. “You know what? We are not doing this anymore,” she says, her voice firm. “Jihyo likes you and me. I like you and Jihyo. And you like Jihyo and I. So here’s what we’re going to do—we’re going to stop this weird dancing around our feelings, and we’re just going to be together.”

Her words hang in the air, heavy with certainty. I look at her, then at Jihyo, who’s blushing shyly but nodding in agreement. My heart is pounding, and the room suddenly feels too small, too warm. I want to say something, to tell them how much this means to me, but all I can manage is a deep, shaky breath.

“Are you sure about this, Kura?” I ask, my voice barely above a whisper. My question is more than just about our relationship—it’s about whether I’m worthy of it, whether I can be what they both need.

Sakura rolls her eyes, but there’s a softness to her gaze now, a gentleness that tells me she understands. “Yes, I’ve never been more sure of anything else,” she says. But before she moves closer, she hesitates, her tough exterior faltering for just a moment. “Daigo… we’re sure. We know what we want. But do you?”

I look at them, really look at them. Jihyo, with her radiant smile that always seems to melt my worries away, and Sakura, with her fierce determination, challenges me in ways I never thought possible. The room feels warmer, the golden light from the setting sun casting a soft glow over everything, making this moment feel almost surreal. Yet I still hesitate. Sakura looks at me seeing the worries in my eyes and reassures me,

"Daigo it will be fine. We will be here with you." as Sakura speaks she grabs my hand tighter something Jihyo mirrors as they pull me closer. Do I deserve this? Can I really make them happy? These thoughts swirl in my mind, but then I see the way they’re looking at me—with hope, with trust. And suddenly, it’s not about whether I’m worthy. It’s about whether I’m brave enough to take this leap with them.

I nod, a small, tentative smile forming on my lips. “I want this too,” I finally say, my voice stronger now. “I want you both… more than anything.”

A wave of relief washes over Jihyo’s face, and she steps closer, her hand reaching for mine. I take it, our fingers intertwining, and in that simple touch, I feel a sense of belonging that I haven’t felt in a long time.

Sakura steps forward too, her tough exterior melting away as she places her hand on top of ours. “Then let’s kiss, makeup, and maybe do a little more,” she says, a playful smirk tugging at her lips.

For a moment, we just stand there, the three of us connected by our hands, the air thick with anticipation. And then, as if drawn by an invisible force, we all lean in at the same time. The kiss is gentle at first, a soft, tentative meeting of lips that deepens as the last of our doubts melt away. The world outside fades, and all that’s left is the three of us, together in this moment.

The kiss ends, but we don’t pull away entirely. Instead, we stand there, our foreheads resting against each other’s, our breaths mingling in the small space between us. “This is just the beginning,” Sakura murmurs, her voice filled with a quiet determination. “We’ll figure it out together.”

Jihyo nods, her hand tightening around mine. “Together,” she echoes, her voice soft but sure.

And as I stand there, surrounded by the warmth of their presence, I finally allow myself to believe that maybe, just maybe, I’m worthy of this love we’ve found. We enter into another messier sloppier three-way kiss that is raw, emotional, and intense. I am unsure who or where to send my affection except just out. Sakura on the other hand is much better at maneuvering this tangle of mouth and limbs her lithe body carefully weaves in between Jihyo and my hair as she devours us barely leaving us any time for breath. when this kiss breaks we pant and are left…excited. Sakura licks her lips and says, "Now my two shy extroverts. We are going to take this to the bedroom." she says as she leads us in a lust-filled trance to the bedroom. As we walk clothing is abandoned and we are all left bare by the time we reach the bed. The room began to reek of arousal. I looked at both my girls and couldn't decide which to taste first. Then Sakura groaned “fuck Daigo, fuck Jihyo first fucking claim Jihyo. Mold her pussy to your cock like you did mine,”

I approach Jihyo and her eyes flutter. she stares into mine.

"be gentle," she says, before I plunge into her, and holy fuck she is tight. we both moan as I can barely get the tip in, "Ah fuck why are you so big?" Jihyo moans.

I chuckle and send back, "Fuck why are you so tight?" Sakura laughs as she watches with hungry eyes from the corner. As I inch closer Jihyo's moans grow more intense and it feels like she is growing tighter.

"Fuck Ji, are you getting tighter." Jihyo at this point is lost in the pleasure of the moment yelling for me to keep going but fuck it's hard. she resists me at every inch with an indescribable tightness that blends pleasure and pain in my mind. I want to pound her pussy but fuck.

I inch a little deeper and at this point, the needy sub screams as she grabs my ass and forces me inside of her. She screams as I bottom out and I moan from her tight squeeze. Sakura laughs in the bathroom as she plays with herself leisurely.

Jihyo turns to Sakura, "Fuck is this what it was like when he fucked you for the first time?" Sakura shakes her head, and Jihyo rolls her eyes before turning back to me.

"So what are you gonna do now?" she invites. I lift Jihyo, "Oh," she says as I grab her waist and let gravity do the work. she moans and groans as I ravage her. She grips tightly onto my shoulders as she says, "Oh fuck" repeatedly.

Her pussy begins to leak and throb around my cock as we continue I feel our heartbeats synch for a moment, and I know she's mine. She opens her eyes and says, "Cum in me please baby." I smile as I keep thrusting.

I decide to do something I don't normally do I use my powers to make the sensation more intense for her. I fill my hands with energy that I then pour into all of her erogenous spots, and Jihyo goes crazy.

"Oh fuck Daigo if you keep doing that I am gonna," she yells before I feel her release. She moans one last time before cumming all over my cock. when she stops breathing heavily her eyes lock with mine and she says.

"You're mine." then she turns to Sakura who has a funny smile and says, "You both are."

Sakura gets up and then strokes my cock before saying, "Come on Ji take his first load." Jihyo's eyes narrow as lust takes us all into a trance.

Jihyo straddles me and takes me in with a bit more ease this time. she moans as she starts riding me seriously. I match her pace as both girls reportedly chant "Cum". the encouragement plus the tightness of Jihyo make sure I am not long for this world as I just explode into my girlfriend. Sakura and Jihyo smile as Jihyo gets off me before going to kiss Sakura. the two women begin to grope and squeeze each other intensely as their bodies get a feel for each other. the two stare into each other's eyes passionately before dipping their fingers into each other. I watch with contentment and compersion also while quickly becoming hard again. my two girlfriends keep kissing before aligning their pussies and rubbing them together.

the two wordlessly grind into each other as they go back to kissing each other Sakura moans as Jihyo's eagerness overtakes her and she begins to really up the pace. in their syncopating rhythms I watch as their bodies bounce and pull into each other, as they near their climaxes I hear Sakura says, "Fuck I love you both." I look at her and Jihyo before realizing this is the first time she has said that. I sit in that revelation for a bit as Sakura moans as she cums on Jihyo. After the two of them exhaust themselves they crawl over to me and say, "Was that so bad?" I shake my head as both women nuzzle in close.

After the initial rush of emotions and the shared kiss, the three of us find ourselves sitting on the couch. The atmosphere is lighter, but there’s still a sense of seriousness lingering in the air. We know that while our feelings are clear, the reality of navigating a relationship like this requires more than just passion—it requires understanding, communication, and trust.

Jihyo is the first to speak, her voice calm and thoughtful. “So… now that we’ve agreed to be together, I think it’s important that we talk about how we’re going to make this work. I mean, this is new for all of us, right?”

I nod, appreciating her directness. “Yeah, I think we should. We’ve got to make sure we’re all comfortable and on the same page.”

Sakura, who has been leaning back against the couch, sits up a little straighter. “Definitely. I know we’re all excited about this, but I don’t want anyone to feel left out or uncomfortable. We need to set some boundaries and talk about what we expect from each other.”

Jihyo turns to look at me, her eyes soft but serious. “For me, the most important thing is communication. I don’t ever want us to feel like we can’t talk to each other about how we’re feeling, even if it’s something difficult. We’ve got to be open, even when it’s hard.”

I take a deep breath, considering her words. “I agree. I want us to be honest with each other, even if that means having tough conversations. If something’s bothering any of us, we should feel safe bringing it up.”

Sakura nods. “Absolutely. Along with that, I think we should talk about physical boundaries too. Like, how do we want to handle intimacy? Are there any things we should be mindful of, like who’s comfortable with what?”

Jihyo blushes a little, but she doesn’t shy away from the topic. “I think it’s important that we’re all on the same page with that. Maybe we should start slow, and make sure we’re all comfortable before taking any big steps. And we should always check in with each other, make sure we’re okay with whatever’s happening.”

I glance between them, feeling a sense of responsibility settle over me. “I think that’s a good idea. We should be respectful of each other’s comfort zones. And if any of us ever feels like something is moving too fast, we should speak up.”

Sakura looks thoughtful for a moment before adding, “And what about time? How are we going to make sure we’re spending enough time together, both as a trio and individually?”

Jihyo nods in agreement. “Yeah, that’s important too. We should make sure we’re balancing our time so that no one feels neglected. Maybe we can set aside specific times for us to all hang out together, and also make sure we have one-on-one time with each other.”

I appreciate how considerate they’re being about this. “That sounds good. I don’t want anyone to feel like they’re getting less attention or that they’re not important. We’re all in this together, and we should treat it that way.”

Sakura smiles, her expression softening. “I’m glad we’re talking about this. I want this to work, and I think we can do it as long as we’re honest and respectful with each other.”

Jihyo reaches out, taking both of our hands in hers. “Me too. I know this won’t always be easy, but I believe in us. We just need to keep communicating and being there for each other.”

I squeeze their hands, feeling a deep sense of connection with both of them. “We’re going to make this work,” I say, my voice filled with determination. “No matter what challenges come our way, we’ll face them together.”

Sakura leans in, pressing a soft kiss to Jihyo’s cheek before turning to do the same to me. “Together,” she echoes, her voice filled with conviction.

Jihyo smiles, her eyes shining with emotion. “Together,” she agrees, her voice a whisper but filled with certainty.

Obsession ft Karina @entername322

After finishing the household chores, I arrived at the Arcade as usual with 25 dollars and a hand. I approach the teller: a young man by the name of Dexter but everyone calls him DC.

"Hey, Daigo. You hear for tokens?" He asks and I nod. I slide him the 25 dollars and he hands me the tokens.

I go to the back of the arcade where the "Under Night 2" arcade cabinet is. I sat on the stool and began playing. about 10 minutes into my session I took a break when I heard one of the other usuals talking about some pretty harrowing stuff.

"Yeah, dude I'll be fine." He says

"Well no I am not angry that Karina has been popping up everywhere. She's hot and crazy so it works out." I hear him say.

"Who cares if she threatened me with a knife she told me that I was hers."He adds

"Anyways I gotta go the quiet black dude in the arcade is staring at me and I don't like it," he says, as he approaches me.

he walks up next to me and says, "We gonna have a problem?"

I narrow my eyes and respond, "No kid, However a piece of advice?" as I speak I go back to the game, and gesture for him to sit down.

The young man's eyes narrow back, before he sits down. I smile as I continue to play.

"I have seen you here for eight weeks and you have never said a word. Why would you now?" he asked confused

I shrug and respond, "Well I think despite your rough exterior you're a good dude. A good dude who likes crazy women which is fine." I respond as I crack my knuckles. and get ready for the second round.

"Look do you like really crazy girl? Or is she just hot and crazy which is exciting?" I ask

"Um why can't it be both?" the young man asks

"Well excitement is just novelty and novelty wears off, but her feelings towards it won't so I am going to restate my question. Do you like her or are you just excited by her? Take a breath and think about your answer just not the first thing your lizard brain says, unless that lizard brain is telling you to be with her for the rest of your life."

The young man took my advice took a breath and thought for a moment he exhaled then responded, "I like her a lot. it's just that I am kinda scared of her, and I don't know how to approach her about my safety so I just let her do whatever crazy stuff she wants because I'd rather be her obsession than be alone." I nod then say,

"Okay That was a lot to take in but ultimately just talk to her. Establish healthy boundaries in terms of space between you two, and tell her how you feel.” the young man responds and asks,

“What if she doesn't like me afterward being so vulnerable with her?” I shrug but then take a minute to think,

“Based on what you said I don't see that occurring but if it does happen I think you'll be fine honestly and truly” I respond to the young man’s worries and he smiles and then gets up. He takes out his phone and says,

“Imma call her right now.” a few seconds later we hear a ringtone in two arcade lanes the young man and I look at each other and then walk over where a young woman with short black hair looks at us guilty. She smiles and then says,

“Hi, Ethan.” “Ethan” turns to me and we share a laugh before he walks with her.

I head back to my spot and begin to play a few more rounds. After a few more rounds I take a well-needed break

The next day I am at the arcade DC’s girlfriend and coworker Moon Sua is at the Register. I hand her my 25 dollars and she smiles at me. I smile back and give her a thumbs-up. I went to my usual spot waiting for me was none other than Karina. She held a bright smile that seemed friendly.

"I am unsure about you but I must thank you for having Ethan talking to me. our chat was…positive."

"Oh, that's great what happened?"

"Well… Yesterday while I was walking home

Ethan and Karina walk to her dorm and she stares at him harshly. “Who was that you were talking to?” She interrogates.

“He’s just some guy at the Arcade I frequent. He’s harmless so much so today is the first time I heard him speak,” Ethan says tired and annoyed. This only agitates Karina even more.

“I don’t know why you’re upset. You’re not the one who has to be worried sick.” Karina says pouting. Deciding that her pout was too cute you begin to tease Karina,

“You know he was telling me how crazy you are and that I should dump you.” Back to the present

"I will have you know I said no such thing," I say defensively

"Oh I know and if you did" Karina starts before pulling out her fist. I laugh which makes her scowl

"I can take you." she asserts.

I shake my head.

"Do you think it's because I am a woman?" She says ardently

I shake my head, "No I think it's legit that you can't take me. I exist on a different axis of reality than you do."

Karina sized me up and then said, "Oh really, and how do you figure that?"

"I assume you have never fought a Dragon with a Cane Machette," I responded and Karina blinked multiple times. "I thought so now back to your story." Back to yesterday

"I doubt that. I have been following you for weeks and I have seen him at that arcade he barely says anything." Karina states as Ethan smiles then he says.

"you caught me…So what do we do now?"

In response, Karina asks, "Well I have one question. Are you mine or are you am I gonna have to kill you." Ethan laughs and says, "I'll be yours, on one condition."

Karina's eyes widened "Yes anything!" she said as she almost tripped over herself in her excitement.

"You chill with the crazy stalking okay," Ethan replies, and Karina happily says,

"Deal," Karina says hastily before she pulls Ethan for an aggressive kiss. Ethan lets her lead as he follows her into her dorm. inside she walks past Giselle and Ningning who both know what's about to happen. she slams the door and takes off her top. revealing her large breasts. Ethan smiles. She slowly slinks closer to him. Like a panther, she pins him to the bed. and undoes his pants. She laughs when his cock lands on her face. she looks up at him with these cute little doe eyes. However, Karina was no dainty doe. She lightly palms Ethan's cock, before beginning to stroke it. She smiles as she watches his eyes begin to roll back. She spits on his cock before wrapping her tits around his cock. Ethan watches with anticipatory glee as her tits fully envelop his manhood. Karina smiles as she watches him begin to unravel as she starts moving.

"Oh, Fuck Karina you're so good at that," Ethan says, as he watches her do her thing. Karina smiles, and says,

"You like that babe? because we can do this every night if you want. We can fuck before bed every night." as she speaks she picks up the pace going up and down his shaft, hoping and praying to make Ethan explode all over her face.

"Fuck Karina." Ethan moans helplessly as she just begins to twist and dance around his cock. "I can't take anymore I'm gonna cum" Ethan says, before exploding all over the idol. Karina smiles as his seed spills all over her face and tits. As she gets up she begins to rub his semen into her skin Ethan watches as he gets hard again. Karina smiles before taking her skirt off. She gets back on top of him before sinking onto his cock. She moans.

"Oh fuck I can't believe this is my cock and my cock alone. It's so big." Karina moans as she almost cums all over his rod as she adjusts to his size.

Ethan smiles before grabbing her ass and begins thrusting. Karina means saying, "Yes Take charge, claim my pussy. it's yours." Ethan smirks as he keeps thrusting before spanking Karina. He notices Karina gets tighter, with a tighter grip on her waist he begins plunging deeper into the wanton idol, and watches with perverse glee as her breasts bounce hypnotically. Karina past the point of overstimulation cums all over his cock like a bitch in heat. As she gushes Ethan teases her.

"is that all you have slut?" Karina moans at Ethan's degrading words.

"Oh, you like that little slut?" Ethan asks and Karina moans as she nods.

Well then little slut." Ethan says before sitting up and biting her nipple.

Karina loses it again and cums all over his cock again. Ethan smiles

"Wow, you have sensitive nipples slut. if I knew it was this easy to make you an oozing mess I would have fucked you like this a long time ago." As he speaks he feels himself near his peak. Ethan keeps thrusting and says to Karina, "Take my cum, and don't let a drop go to waste little slut." Karina nods and she manages to grab one of her plugs just in time for Ethan to paint her guts white. Karina shakes violently as another orgasm takes her feeling Ethan fill her up. when she finally can stop writhing and moaning Ethan plugs her as he pulls his cock out of her pussy

"Don't forget you belong to me now slut." Ethan says. Back to the present

I scowl at Karina and ask, "Was it really needed to tell me about the sex you too had?"

Karina gives me an adorable smile before saying "Yep" away. I turn to Moon Sua who is just laughing as DC comes next to her.

[midnight-bay-if]

also an angsty-ish ask if i may (crushing stage)

ROs' reactions/thoughts to overhearing Mc and friend talking, said friend is teasing Mc about them and RO, and Mc blurts out "There's nothing between us!", then, after a brief pause, in the saddest tone they ever heard from Mc, "Besides, RO deserves someone far better than I could ever be..."

S: They think it's ludicrous. How can it be possible you don't recognise how exceptionally wonderful you are? If anyone in this situationship is falling short, it's them. They fall short in a million different ways, but they've put the best foot forward because you're the kind of person who inspires.

Well, they can't let this misconception continue. They would much rather lay the cards out straight and lose than have never taken the risk.

They reveal themselves carefully, leaning against the door frame with a charming smile. "Forgive the intrusion, but I couldn't quite help but overhear..." Still smiling, they close the distance until they are close enough to grasp your hand in theirs, holding it up delicately to their lips as they press a chaste kiss to the palm of your hand. "It would seem I haven't been clear enough in my affections if there is still room to doubt whether there is anything going on between us. I will endeavour to correct this grievous error immediately. Dinner tonight?"

Rain: That last sentence hits Rain like a punch to the gut. It seems incomprehensible to them that you could ever believe you were anything less than perfect to them. But it comes down to this. You do feel that way, and that means Rain hasn't done enough to express everything about you they find so endearing.

This cannot continue.

Rain begins with a plan. Everything they have learned about you thus far is brought into action as they co-ordinate the perfect date. Do you have a favourite flower? Great, have a bouquet of them. Do you have a favourite meal? S will help Rain cook it. Or if you have a favourite spot, great, expect a romantic walk to it. Enjoy poetry? Well, Rain is awful at writing it, but they would give it a go for you.

They'll figure out a million ways to show you their feelings if that's what it takes.

Taj: Taj's ear twitches when they overhear that final sentence. They feel the underbelly of frustration beginning to bubble under the surface. How is it fair you get to decide on your own who is good enough for who? And what made you decide that?

Wait... is this their fault? Could their sharp edges have been catching after all? You never showed it on your face. Sometimes, Taj would even dig deeper with their cutting tongue simply to see you flinch. But you never did. Had you been bleeding this entire time?

Taj inhales sharply, digging their nails deep into their palms in a clenched fist. If they were braver, they would storm right into that room and tear up those self-flagellating thoughts of yours. But they aren't. They never have been.

N: It feels strange to N, to hear the words they have already long suspected to be true. Not the part about 'nothing going on between us' since they know that much is rubbish, but the latter part... Well, the lack of belief in oneself can manifest in all kinds of ways but sits so readily in a person's body language.

It is true N is a demon prince of Hael. Before their power was so egregiously ripped from them, they were a prized jewel often paraded amongst important individuals like a prized buck for breeding. Everyone wanted a piece, and they languished in the attention.

Yet, powerless and bruised, you coveted their attention still. The lack of power did not matter to you. Back home, N would be ridiculed for seeking affection from a mere human. But, inexplicably, they do seek it. It is them who are underserving of you.

Better they remember why they came here in the first place.

Umbra: They cannot abide this. They flinched when you said nothing was going on between the two of you. For a moment, Umbra was sure someone had slipped the sharp edge of a blade right between their ribs. It hurt.

Then, you continued, and the blade twisted. It doesn't compute. Theirs are hands that have wrought destruction and death, but it is you who thinks they are not enough? This has to be their failure. If they were more human, more alive, then they would know exactly how to assuage your concerns, to prove their devotion to you.

It isn't enough to be by your side anymore. They would rather fall at your feet begging for mercy as you dig your heel in than have you believe that you aren't enough.

(Phew, hope this is okay! Sorry, it took a minute.)

[graveyardcuddles]

I'm thinking about Astarion again and how actually amazing it is that he managed to hold onto as much of himself as he did after having had everything about his identity and sense of self systematically stripped away from him. And how it's even more incredible he managed to do so without even getting to look at himself at all in all that time.

We know his trauma cut him off from his ability to trance and therefore his ability to recall memories from before he was turned. What must it be like to have nothing? Not even happy memories to look back on? A spawn. A dead thing to be used as his master sees fit. Tortured by Cazador and Godey. Starved to the point of constant hunger pain. Forced to use his body and sexuality to seduce people who sometimes not only disgusted him but who would sometimes even hurt him...AND through all of this, this whole nightmare, he can't even see his own face. Even his own perception of himself is stolen from him.

I've gone through some horribly low points in life. Points where I've felt like I was literally losing my mind or about to end it all. And sometimes in those moments, I just had to stare at myself in the mirror, look myself in the eye and literally talk myself down. There have been times where my mental state was so bad and my perception of reality so warped I HAD to look at my own reflection in the mirror to remind myself I was still real.

Astarion remembers so little of his face that he can't remember if he ever had a mole on his cheek or not. He can't remember the color of his own EYES. For as much as fans talk about the angst of him not being able to remember his own eyes I don't know if any of us could even imagine forgetting oneself so completely that such a defining physical characteristic is lost to memory. It's difficult to imagine as beings with limited lifespans. And imagine the added torment of being forced to use your looks to survive all while never being able to actually see yourself. (This is why I can't help but feel a bit annoyed when people say things like "Well it's a GOOD thing he can't see himself, can you imagine how annoying he would be?" Like sorry you find 'petty vanity' annoying, it still doesn't mean he deserved to have his sense of self-perception stripped away).

So much of him was killed in the process over those two hundred years of abuse and neglect in order to survive. I think it's fair to say Astarion likely wasn't a saint before he was turned by Cazador but we do know at one point there WAS a kind, sympathetic part of himself that took pity on that young man he spared. A part that I'm sure had to be killed in order for Astarion to survive and remain sane. And in ALL that time there was never once any moment where he could look at himself in the mirror and tell himself that he was still himself.

He lost everything, even the memory of his own eye color. But he wouldn't allow himself to be lost completely. He still talked back. Still screamed the loudest when tortured. Still held onto his anger, his rage his burning desire for revenge. And when he gets the opportunity to take his freedom he fucking LEAPS for it. He is so bound and determined to STAY free once he is free he would literally rather die than go back to Cazador. He's a survivor above all else and I love him so much.

[is-the-fire-real]

Another bit on the pro-Pal fandom, this one axiomatic

Being a good person is not the same thing as pretending as though you believe you are a good person.

Being a good person takes work. You have to do stuff. Doing stuff is hard. Doing good stuff is harder, because you have to put thought into determining what you think is good beforehand. That requires self-reflection, honesty, a willingness to challenge oneself, and taking in information from other people to verify that your concept of "good" is, well, good.

The nice part is that once you evaluate what is good and start doing good things, it becomes easier. You gain inner calm, peace, and even joy.

("Good" is not always the same as "necessary". Necessary work can be a slog, or it can be horrific. But there can still be a calming satisfaction at the core, the security that this is necessary and therefore worthwhile.)

Pretending to believe you are a good person takes less immediate work. You don't have to do anything that positively impacts the real world, and you don't have to do any of that annoying, time-consuming self examination. But in the long run, it's more exhausting. By far.

You are insecure about whether or not you are a good person. You're pretending to believe you are good. You can't feel secure in something you pretend to believe. That insecurity gnaws at you, especially when you engage in bad behavior--harassment, doxxing, posting gore, swarming tags, encouraging and promoting suicide among your fellow "activists", telling your opponents to kill themselves, stalking, spamming unrelated content with literal Nazi propaganda.

None of those are good things good people do. And you understand that. You would think someone was bad if they did those things to you. The cognitive dissonance between who you want to be and who you really are, as determined by your actions, is scary. It's painful. It rears up every time someone you have labeled a Zio colonizer scumbag asks you to please just stop and you remember a time when you begged someone--an abuser, a troll online, a 4channer, your parents--to just stop please just leave me alone.

That must feel terrifying, and again, it makes you insecure. It makes you question if you're doing the right thing.

So you do the work to pretend to believe you are good. And that's far more work than goes into being good.

You recruit others, and all of you agree that you will pretend together. Tabletop gaming has taught us how powerful this imaginative play can be. You all reassure each other that you are good and you are right. But since you're all lying to each other, that means you must spend more, and more, and more time every day telling each other that you are good, chasing that high, that feeling that you are a good person and your actions are justified.

You tell each other that your "opponents" in this "battle" are not people, so anything you say or do to and about them is okay. You look at lists of "dehumanizing tactics" and instead of internalizing what those lists are teaching you, you go: "Ah, so if I don't use the word 'vermin', anything I say should be fine!" And then you say it.

You do not smile over good news. You only smile when one of your opponents logs off Tumblr because you made the site unusable and unsafe for them. (The expression you make there isn't really a smile, but we'll call it that, since the corners of your mouth do turn upward.) You tell yourself you're just attacking Zionists and pretend you do not see how you're really going after Jews.

No self-examination; that would mean admitting that you're lying to yourself and others. Instead, you traumatize and exhaust yourself until you're psychologically incapable of self-examination. You watch snuff films. You stare at mangled bodies until you're weeping and physically ill (certainly, you're too ill to check whether the video is real, or if it was taken from this conflict).

You force your beliefs into your fandom spaces so that others, the bad people, cannot escape their complicity in genocide.

But more importantly, you do that so you can't escape.

You cannot engage in any fandom but the pro-Pal fandom because that takes imaginative energy away from your biggest pretense--that you're a good person.

You are NOT hurting people because you are striking a blow for Palestinians. You are hurting people, including yourself, because you do not want to do the work of becoming a good person. You are afraid that self examination, at this point, will reveal to you that you are exactly the sort of person you believe you are fighting.

That fear, that insecurity, that dread, that restless sense that if you ever rest or stop or think for just a moment, you'll discover something awful? That's your conscience.

I do not ask you to change your mind about your political opponents. Your defenses are already on your lips and in your mind; a thousand How Dare Yous for me hinting that you look at other people as people. What I will ask you is to consider this.

I came to young adulthood just as Bush was elected, and the Iraq War post-9/11 was the first war I really followed as an adult. I did what you're doing now. I forced myself to look at photographs of destroyed bodies. I looked at photographs of torture perpetrated by US soldiers. I blogged about it obsessively.

I told myself that I was Doing My Part to end the war. But really, it's that the anxiety of being an American during the war made me insecure over whether or not I was responsible for all of this, and therefore, a bad person. If I pretended my looking at snuff photos was activism, and that it was good, then I could pretend to believe I was good and shout "Not in my name" at protests. I could deny my responsibility.

What I really did was traumatize myself. It's been almost twenty years. I can still see some of those torture pictures in my head. In the end, that is the extent of the impact of my online activism. The blogs are all long deleted, and nobody remembers them.

Only my trauma remains.

I do not want this for you. I want you to be wiser. There is still time. You can stop.

Stop hurting yourself and other people. Do the hard work. Examine yourself and your actions. Consider what your own heart is trying to tell you whenever you start to get the shakes and your throat gets tight. Do not take that feeling out on random people online because they have a Magen David in their pfp.

Once you have done the hard work, it gets easier. You will be able to advocate and work for whatever causes you believe in because you know they are good, not because you're joining your friends in cosplaying goodness. You will still be traumatized, and you will still be sad, and you'll definitely still get angry. You will have to face how you've acted exactly like your own past abusers, and that's a real tough row to hoe.

But at the end, you will be able to advocate and work because you want to, instead of feeling as though you must in order to keep up the masquerade.

[shiny-holographic-star]

SYNASTRY: Chiron

Note: Chiron can act from a place of hurt or healing depending on how much the person has worked on healing their own wounds.

Chiron conjunct Moon: This could mean that the Chiron person wants to help heal the moon person, they might share similar emotional wounds.

Chiron sextile Moon: I have this with my little nephew! The Chiron person can learn from the Moon person about their own emotional side, and maybe about their relationship with motherhood or how to nurture oneself and others. The Chiron person might heal themselves by mothering the Moon person.

Chiron square Sun: The chiron person might feel hurt for not getting the attention and validation of the sun person. It might stir up self-esteem issues from the past. The sun person might act self-centered, and the Chiron person might internalize their own insecurities about it.

Chiron square Mercury: The mercury person might struggle / avoid communicating with the Chiron person, which can hurt them. I had this with an ex who replied to my texts after hours or longer.

Also, the Mercury person might act rationally, from their mind, and the Chiron person might feel they're too cold and can't comprehend or don't care about their emotions.

Chiron square Fama might mean the Chiron person doesn't want to hear about the Fama person at all. They resist hearing or talking about them because they don't want to get in touch with past hurts.

It also could be that the Chiron person remembers the Fama person as the bad ex or the one that got away, something that hurts them or it did at some point. For example, if the Fama person was a crush that got away, when you think about them you might feel like you're not enough; it touches sensitive spots.

Chiron inconjunct Saturn: I have this aspect (applying) with a friend, and he doesn't share some beliefs with me, and sometimes when I talk about it with other people he talks down about it. It feels like being censored or limited (Saturn) which can bring to the surface wounds related to powerlessness (created by authority figures of your life).

I have the same aspect (separating) with my cousin, and I think the disciplined / hard work of Saturn shows up more. When I see how resilient and committed she is, I feel a bit jealous and called out, because I know I need to make adjustments in my own life in order to make Saturn justice. Those adjustments are related to issues with perfectionism, procrastination, discipline and consistency.

Chiron semi-square Venus: The Venus person might show affection to the Chiron person, but this one might reject it out of habit which can come from past wounds. The Chiron person might brush off shows of affection from the Venus person which could annoy them. This could cause very light friction.

Chiron trine Mars: if Chiron is a woman and Mars a man, the former might see in the Mars person characteristics or behaviors of previous men who have hurt her. For example, my ex was very emotionally dry like my father which sometimes triggered past wounds. But I think that the trine made it flow naturally, like I would just accept it.

Art from the manga Boku no Hero Academia by Horikoshi.

[smusherina]

yard work - chapter 6 (regina george x reader)

fandom: Mean Girls (all media)

pairing: Regina George x OFC/Reader

summary: You'd been in the same class as Regina George since kindergarten. You'd lived on the same street even longer. Once upon a time, when life was sandbox disputes and who got the swing first arguments, you'd even been friends. Now, in junior year of high school, you doubted she even remembered you. The same couldn't be said about you. You definitely remembered her.

warnings(s): 2004 was not a good time for the gays. homophobia persists. insecurity about weight and insulting oneself about it.

chapter 1 / chapter 2 / chapter 3 / chapter 4 / chapter 5 / chapter 7

You dipped into your savings and got Regina a new, fancy moisturizer. You couldn't count on her using it instead of the lard, but well. Guide a horse to water, can't make it drink, and all that.

You didn't tell her about the Homecoming prank, though. She'd been pissed about that. Not for long, because then it turned into a sort of trend at Northshore and it only boosted her popularity.

You were perhaps more upset about it. Upset you'd let it happen, upset they'd done it in the first place, upset Regina stood there with Aaron. He didn't even look like he wanted to be there.

Regina managing to turn it around for her benefit didn't stop you from feeling bad. It was the principle of the thing. You'd taken some distance from her. Everybody, actually. People just didn't feel all that great to be around. You were betraying Regina by letting her be essentially bullied by Janis, you were tolerating Regina's abusive reign over the student body, Aaron was getting on your last nerve by simply existing, and your mom's death anniversary was coming up.

You went to the Georges' less. Regina came to yours when you didn't lie about having to catch up on homework or doing a project. You did do some yard work for them since you still needed the extra cash. Just basic things like raking leaves and doing small repairs here and there. You also covered the pool with Mrs George's help.

"Whew, I forget what a chore that is every year!" She wiped at her forehead. You laid on the grass, chest heaving. You'd carried maybe seventy per cent of that thing.

"You said it, Mrs George." You managed to get out.

"How many years have I been telling you to call me Jude. Or just mom." You looked up at her. She looked so much like Regina. Or Regina looked so much like her.

She'd known your mom. Cried harder at her funeral than your dad or even yourself. You hadn't really gotten it, at that point. She'd hugged you tight and told you what an amazing woman she was, that she hadn't deserved to go yet. She sent you food for weeks after, which you appreciated because dad was too busy sorting stuff out to cook for you.

She'd been more of a mom to you than your own had ever gotten to be. Still, it felt wrong to call her anything other than Mrs George. It was weird. Word association gone all wrong. Mom meant a casket being lowered into a hole on a bleak November day, an echoing house and an empty kitchen, sad and wistful things. Mrs George meant afternoons spent running around in the backyard, eating 'till your belly was full to bursting, happiness and summer.

"Many, many years." You groaned as you got up. "Is Reggie home?"

You figured it would be weird if you didn't go say hi, at least. You didn't want to cut her out entirely. It was just hard being around her when the weight of your own actions, and inactions, weighed on your shoulders.

She smiled in a way that told you she'd noticed your deflection. "In her room."

"Great. Oh, by the way, what did you do with the apples this year?"

"I convinced Rick to donate them to the women's shelter downtown. They'll be put to good use there."

"That's awesome," You put your hands to your hips and looked around. "Anything you want me to do?"

"I'll just hose down the rose bushes, you head on inside. Avoid the living room, Rick's on a conference call." She waved you off with a smile.

You trod through the house carefully, shoes in hand. You knew the Georges were a shoes-on household, but it just never felt right for you to walk on carpeted floors with your shoes on. What if you had stepped on dogshit? What then?

"Reg?" Her door was open a crack, so you peeked in. "You decent?"

"Yes, I'm decent." You could hear the eye roll in her voice. "What do you want?"

Yikes. She wasn't happy.

You walked in and closed the door behind you. She was on her bed, reading a book on her belly. She was snacking on some candy bar.

"I just came to say hi. I put the pool cover on with your mom." You walked up to her. "What're you reading?"

"I could hear you huffing and puffing all the way up here." She turned on her side to look at you. "The Catcher in the Rye. It's boring."

"I dunno, I liked it." You climbed in hesitantly. When she didn't protest, you settled down on your side facing her, head leaned against your palm.

"You've read it?" She tossed the book on the floor next to the bed, now giving you her full attention. "Can you write my paper?"

"Depends on how much you'll pay me." You grinned and rubbed your fingers together like you were handling cash.

"Boo, you whore." She pouted. "Aren't we supposed to be beyond that?"

"I don't do charity, my friend." You flopped onto your back and crossed your arms. Shit, she had a comfy bed. So soft but just firm enough, too. You let your eyes close. You were so tired from all that physical labour.

"Get off my bed, you traitor." You opened your eyes too late. She was already on you, pushing you, and you had no time to resist until you were toppling onto the floor. You clambered down in a mess of limbs and sheets, which you'd grabbed in your desperate attempt to stay aboard.

"Reg! Your bed is actually high up! Help me!" You felt like Mufasa clinging to the face of the cliff, fingers digging into the slippery bedding. One of your legs was still on the bed, but not securely enough that you would've been able to pull yourself to safety.

"Just put your leg on the floor, dumbass." She cackled, watching you panic over such a small drop.

"No, look, it's not that- close." You lowered your leg and your knee made contact with the floor. Regina fell back, gasping as she laughed. "Shut up, you teapot!"

"No! I'm not-" She tried to stifle the laughs escaping her, the real wheezing ones she didn't let out of their cage willingly, but one look at you set it off again. "Your hair!"

You lifted your hands to your head. "It's not my fault your sheets are fucking static."

By the time Mrs George came to inform you that she'd be starting on dinner, thus signifying you should probably go, Regina had stopped laughing, if just barely.

"Have you been using the moisturizer I gave you?" You tried to analyze her face. It didn't look any less flawless than usual.

"Yeah, it's really great. My old night lotion started smelling weird for some reason. Maybe it expired early or something." You just hummed in response.

"I should probably go home and make myself dinner too."

"I'll walk you down."

You walked down the stairs and to the backdoor, avoiding the living room despite the blaring of the TV. Mr George was definitely not on a call anymore.

"What're you making today?" Regina asked, standing somewhat awkwardly on the porch.

"Probably tacos. I found a great deal on some corn tortillas at the store. They're all going bad today, so. Gonna stuff myself."

"Save some for me, yeah?"

You weren't sure what she meant by that. "Sure."

You walked home and as you'd said, got started on dinner. Moving around the kitchen without Regina there in the way, chopping whatever vegetables into misshapen cubes, felt weird. She wasn't over that often, but you'd gotten used to it regardless.

It was perhaps your biggest flaw as a person, how intolerant you were to being alone. Ironic, considering how much time you had to spend alone.

If it was up to you, you would've made Birria tacos with a good cut of sirloin, but you didn't have the money for fresh cuts of beef. Besides, you hadn't even started on the stew, and that took a whole day. So, you settled on some basic ground beef filling. You had made Pico de Gallo earlier that day, so it was nice and flavourful by the time you were constructing your tacos.

Back when you'd still needed a babysitter, there had been this one Mexican lady who appeared on the roster most often. It was so long ago you couldn't remember her name. She'd made you call her Abuela. She was sweet and taught you the wonder of Latin American cuisine. From what you could understand, she'd been well-travelled and really loved food everywhere.

She stopped coming when all of your babysitters did. The last time you saw her, you hadn't known it would be the last time.

This time of year really made you a monster. A dull grey, depressing monster. You'd have to find some exciting hobby because even you were getting sick of this. Maybe cliff jumping?

A knock on your door was the last thing you expected when you were finally ready to chow down. Making such a huge amount of food took time.

"What?" You barked to whoever dared to disturb you. "Oh, shit."

"Is that how you greet all your dinner guests?" Regina asked, batting her eyelashes. She had on a deep red dress, shiny satin that licked at the curves and edges of her body just right. It reached all the way to her feet, where you could see black heels peeking out from under the hem. She stood taller than usual, but still so short you could see above her head. The dress was strapless as far as you could tell as her jacket was covering her shoulders. Sweetheart neckline and a clutch to match. She had a thin gold chain around her neck with a small R-charm on it. Gold hoop earrings, hair done up in curls.

A grin crept up onto her face as you continued to gape at her visage. "I know, right?" She posed, one hand holding the clutch at level with her thigh and one poised at her waist. "I'm so sexy."

"Yeah, uh, yes, you are." You stuttered, stunned and flustered. You wanted to touch her, feel the fabric of the dress with the tips of your fingers, grab a hold of her and press close to her. She looked so fucking good.

"Thanks, baby." She took a couple of steps forward to reach you and, nonchalant as could be, brushed her hand at your shoulder as if she were brushing off dust.

Your knees wobbled.

"I have dinner for us." You blurted out. "I, uh..." You needed to pull it together. "I'm gonna go change."

"You do that," Regina said with an indulgent smile. You shot up the stairs.

When you came back down, still tucking your shirt into your trousers and tie undone, Regina was sitting on the couch perusing a magazine. It was probably from last year or something, you didn't exactly update the stuff under the coffee table.

You coughed to get her attention. "Ready for dinner, Reggie?"

"Ugh, don't ruin the moment. Anything other than that."

"I'm Jorts and you're Reggie, that's how it's been." You reminded and gently plucked her clutch from her hands before gesturing for her to turn around. She did, looking a little confused. When you reached to take her jacket off, she recoiled.

"Um, I would like to keep it on." She said, the confidence from before diminishing.

"Oh, why?" You asked. "Are you cold?"

"No, it's just, um..." Regina George stammering. You didn't think you'd live to see the day. "I don't look like I used to before."

"What does that mean?" You checked her out, toes to forehead. Drop-dead gorgeous as always.

"I've gained a bunch of weight." She looked down as if she needed to be ashamed. "I barely fit into this gown. I had to suck in even with the Spanx. And I still look like a whale."

As much as you would've liked to be incredulous and loud about just how wrong she was, it didn't seem like the right course of action. She was being open and vulnerable with you.

"I don't think you look like a whale." You stepped close to her tentatively. You set the clutch on the coffee table. Then, just as tentatively, circled your arms around her. You slotted your fingers together at her lower back and pulled her to you so that your bellies touched.

"I couldn't hug a whale." You pointed out helpfully, leaning back slightly to still look her in the eyes. "I'd love to see the dress in its full glory."

Regina, hands fussing with unmade your tie, bit her lip in contemplation.

"Careful, don't mess up your lipstick." She rubbed her lips together at that, a smile threatening to break out.

"Fine. But you can't laugh or stare or anything."

"I swear." You put one hand on your heart and the other up. "Now turn around."

She did as you asked. "You're being awfully chivalrous."

"It's what you deserve, Reggie." You crooned jokingly, pulling the jacket from her shoulders. The dress was cut elegantly so that there were no straps, but bits of fabric hanging by her upper arms. Cold-shoulder. You hoped the jokes in your tone hid how nervous you were.

"What did I just say?" As if that little moment between you two hadn't even happened, she was right back to her normal self.

"Fine. But you'll always be my Reggie. I guess tonight we can pretend." You sighed. "Whatever you say, honey."

"Better." She turned and tugged at your tie. "Now, let's get you sorted."

"I had very little notice, okay?" You grumbled but bent down obediently so she'd have an easier time tying your tie. You'd used to play dress up mixed with house all the time. You'd nearly always been the dad and so, you had to wear a tie. Obviously. Mrs George had gotten tired of constantly being asked to do it, so she'd taught Regina.

Now, it felt a little different. For one, you were taller. Secondly, this wasn't a children's game. Maybe you were playing a little bit, pretending, but it didn't quite feel like that. There was something undeniably real about this.

"There." She said once she was finished, smoothing it out against your chest. "You couldn't find one matching the dress?"

"You're impossible to please." You chuckled. "I'll make sure to go tie shopping as soon as possible."

"Good." She liked to ignore your sardonic tone pretty often. "Now, what's on the menu?"

You tucked the rest of the shirt into your pants and, voila, you were done.

"Tacos, my lady." You offered up your arm half in jest. She hooked her wrist into the bend of your elbow with an incline of her head. Clearly, she was a girl that liked to be wined and dined.

You snuck a bottle from your dad's wine collection, hoping it wasn't some speciality. Looking at the label, it wasn't very old. Wine quality was assessed like that, right?

You ate your fills and then some, drinking wine all the while, then retreated to the couch to recover, and turned on the TV to watch while eating dessert. Sharing a pint of ice cream, curled up on the couch in fancy clothes, warm and away from the cold of late November, you wondered what had brought this on.

It wasn't an official date, that much you knew. Regina wasn't a lesbian like you. Maybe she was indulging you. That would mean she knew you had a crush on her. You hoped that wasn't true. Regina was an observant person, though. Fuck, that'd be humiliating.

It didn't feel like she was playing with you. It looked like she was having as much fun as you. Maybe she wanted to have a nice, romantic dinner without the pressure of having to impress or perform for her date.

It was nice she'd chosen you. Regardless of why she'd come here tonight, you were just glad she was with you. You'd had a lot of people leave, most of them never coming back. The exceptions to the rule were Regina and your dad. They were similar in that, but nothing else. When dad came back, he brought with him a never-pleased frown and a stifling presence. When Regina came back, she brought light.

She had her flaws. You had yours. Thanksgiving was right around the corner and Christmas would soon follow. You had no doubt that Janis had something nefarious planned for at least one of those events. Nothing was sure, things were undecided.

"I'm going for a smoke." You said when the episode ended.

"I'm coming with."

"You won't be getting one."

"I don't want it anyway. Cigarettes taste like shit."

You laughed and walked to the backdoor. Through it and onto the patio, you slumped onto the bench swing. Regina followed a lot more gracefully, heels chucked somewhere in the house, bundled up in the blanket she'd claimed as hers since the first time she slept over. She sat next to you and spread it over both your laps. You hummed in thanks and lit up.

Regina might've been a massive bitch. She had, and there was no denying it, done some awful things. And maybe it was fucked up for you to like one part of a person and not the whole of them, but did that count if you were sure that the undesirable part was all a facade?

"So..." You started. "Better than any of the dates Aaron took you to?" You couldn't help but ask. Veiled under a joke, you hoped your jealousy didn't show.

"Don't be cocky." She admonished, resembling her mom almost creepily. "He didn't really take me out."

"What? Why?" If you could openly date Regina there wouldn't be a limit to how much you'd be taking her out, showing her off to anybody who'd listen.

"How should I know?" She shrugged indignantly. "We broke up a little after Homecoming."

"What? I didn't hear about this."

"Really? I thought you would've since it was pretty big news for a while." You didn't want to admit you'd been purposefully avoiding rumours about the couple for the majority of their relationship. "He outlived his purpose."

"The Halloween Party and Homecoming." You clarified and she nodded.

You took a drag. Regina pulled what seemed like a candy bar out of her clutch. It was the same brand she'd been eating earlier today.

Considering she'd been insecure about her weight, you didn't comment on it. You took another drag. You couldn't shake off the feeling that there was something weird.

"Hey, can I look at the packaging of that?"

Wordlessly, Regina handed it over. You looked at the product info. Great, it was all in Swedish.

"Where'd you get these?"

"Cady got me a box of them. They're good for weight loss. Like, they just burn all your carbs." You furrowed your eyebrows and looked back at the product info. The numbers didn't seem like that of a weight loss product.

You didn't like she was eating something that would empty her stomach right after dinner. That couldn't have been healthy.

"You're trusting something Cady gave to you?"

She tilted her head, as if about to question you. Her mouth opened, then closed, and opened again.

"Shut up. Shut up."

You took a long drag.

Taglist: @autorasexy, @wedfan2, @unadulterated-moron, @modernsapphicism, @9unknown0, @sage-rose2000, @massive-honkas, @nattys-swiftie, @likefirenrain, @luz-enjoyer, @dandelions4us, @natashamaximoff-69, @alexkolax, @jareaul0ver, @here4theqts, @charleeeesworld, @natsbiggestfan1, @brocoliisscared

(i keep forgetting to add this note. comment on this post if you want on the taglist!)

[dykealloy]

spoilers up to the end of dressrosa arc here but. I can't stop thinking about how Law takes on Rosinante's will. Corasan freed him from Doflamingo and the marines and the world government and everyone that ever could have touched him at the time, but has Law really felt free? “Everything I do until I die represents what Corasan achieved” is sweet until you recognise that Law is willing (and planned) to go to the grave for that belief. Until Doflamingo dies there is always a part of him stuck in that treasure chest, constrained by what Law felt happened to Corasan due to him that day.

It's crazy how textbook survivors guilt victim Law is (I’m new here so I wouldn’t be surprised if this isn’t the first time this has been brought up), but let’s just quickly go over some symptoms:

Obsessive thoughts about the traumatic event ✅ (will go over this in greater detail below)

A sense of disconnection or detachment/need to isolate oneself from others ✅ (Law doesn't fully isolate himself but he definitely has his walls up at all times, though there are often subtle hints of him enjoying the company of the people he chooses to surround himself with. He is notably more reserved, emotionally unavailable, cold and distant than others around him, and watching closely you'll notice that even physically he has a tendency to situate himself three steps behind the group)

Insomnia, nightmares, flashbacks of the traumatic event ✅ (if we can assume some of his backstory expressed in Dressrosa are flashbacks, and also assuming that the perpetual eyeliner he wears are covering some pretty heavy eyebags. Also mention that the only time we see him resting is against Sunny's mast on the way to Dressrosa - and that was 1. a filler episode, and 2. if he was sleeping, it was very quickly interrupted by an attack by petplay guy - a nightmare in of itself)

Irritability and anger ✅ (though elements of this could just be attributed to Law's personality or a natural response to the straw hat's shenanigans, as well as Luffy's total inability to stick to a reasonable plan)

Feelings of despair and thoughts of suicide ✅ (that's Law's Dressrosa arc babe)

Now, there's many reasons why Law is unable to move past this guilt (an apparent lack of therapists in one piece being one of them) - but his inability to believe in unconditional love is likely the biggest offender.

Law may have started off (initially) with one of the most fortunate, stable beginnings, with a loving family and a big house in a rich country (wealth of which was built off the back of lies and corruption and the murder of innocent future generations - we'll get there). But he had a mother and a father who loved and nurtured Law (and were both highly respected doctors in their own right who citizens trusted and relied on). Law's happy beginnings really juxtapose the unfathomable horror that had been lying in wait in Flevance.

Even when shit started to hit the fan, at a very young age (<10 yrs old), Law was already stepping up and showing love for his little sister (lying to her when she was on her deathbed, knowing full well he would likely face the same fate after reading his charts, putting on a brave face for her so she wouldn't be afraid when the screams began to reach their front door, hiding her away when soldiers sieged their home and rushing to check on his parents). Given everything that happened in Flevance, it's completely understandable that, while Law will likely never forget the love his family gave him, remembering it became twisted in the lasting memories of his home — parents riddled with bullet holes. a closet holding a sick little sister waiting for him in a house engulfed by flames. stumbling through a town of friends, neighbours, just... people he used to pass by on the street, now all dead.

Seeing hell, knowing why and how it transpired, who were responsible (spoilers, the World Government; the same body that most citizens believe exist to protect them — yeah, sister "a merciful hand of salvation waiting to help" were perhaps the worst possible combination of words you could have left Law with here. Likely instrumental in having him lose his faith "I don't believe in anything anymore."), knowing he is the only survivor, and fated to die anyway due to the terminal illness that is slowly killing him because some figureheads years back were greedy and the governing powers above the figureheads were willing to cover up everything if it meant garnering a portion of wealth and maintaining influence and control. It's beyond grief, beyond rage. And there's absolutely nowhere Law can put it. No one he can retaliate against. Who could come out of hell knowing this and not want to see the world burn?

So, smart little Law escapes under a pile of bodies and goes to the one person infamously revered for being in the business of that kind of thing. And boy oh boy I can only begin to imagine how a young and impressionable Law - fresh from a genocide, with a hole in his heart and a hatred for everything still alive - had his concept of love warped whilst surviving those two years around Doflamingo and his family. A family where members are only welcome so far as they are useful to Doflamingo and his aspirations. Of course Law's going to pick up some fucked up ideas about how love works outside this little white fence he grew up and watched burn down.

Then. Enter Corazon.

Their relationship may begin on shaky legs (near-juvenicide via defenestration in a failed attempt to ward Law away from sticking around) but Corazon quickly becomes the one person in the world Law can trust and rely on again. And Rosinante can only do so much in terms of healing and guiding this broken kid (yes, his position both as Doffy's brother and as a double agent made things difficult, but need I mention he was only 26! 26 when he died!) but he showed Law kindness and compassion when he was at his lowest. He had faith in the existence of a cure that Law was long past believing. Was determined to help him, even against Law's wishes, even if it meant having Law relive his trauma over and over again. Corasan becomes incredibly important to Law, giving him a reason to live beyond just destruction and revenge.

After the rest of the world had long turned his back on him, when he had been nothing but a dying puddle of rage and self-destructive nihilism, Corasan saved Law. He told Law "Aishiteru" - a very rare way of saying "I love you", never used casually due to the depth of its meaning and the massive connotations behind it - in essence translating to "I love you so much I cannot possibly imagine life without you". There's a high likelihood that at his age, Law had never heard these words before, and probably didn't quite understand the weight of Rosinante saying it at the time.

Corasan frees Law, then he dies at the hand of Doflamingo, Rosinante's own brother.

All Rosinante wanted was for this poor kid to go on and live his life unburdened by his more than turbulent history and his connection to Doffy, but I think for all his planning, Rosinante's one critical error was well and truly underestimating how much him loving Law, and loving Law to the extent he did, would mean to that kid. Law really went from that ten year old hollow void sentiment of "why does anyone or anything at all get to exist when everything that was important to me is dead, burned to ashes and wiped off the map" to "I should have died at age thirteen and every second I've lived since then, I've only lived as a result of Corasan's efforts and as a personal affront to Doflamingo." This time, Law has a tangible, heinous 10 foot monster of a target to direct 1. his grief and anger and 2. justice for Cora towards, and this time he has the power and will to follow through. More than that, he believes Corasan sacrificed himself for him because he's a D. (someone destined to rain down destruction on the gods - Doflamingo, in this case). Corazon becomes a saint that Law dedicates the rest of his life to. Which is something that Law is not vocal about to just anyone he comes across, but is so unbelievably obvious once you know what you're looking at — his tattoos, his jolly roger, his crew, his ship, his ambitions, his beliefs, his fucking. custom-made Corazon jacket. all of it for this man that showed Law - at a time when he hated the world and everything in it - love. For all of six months. max.

And his whole life and personality and behaviour CONTINUES to be guided by this trauma — the way he's reckless with himself, his borderline self-destructive actions, the way he keeps telling himself that none of it would've been worth it unless Corasan's last wishes are fulfilled, the way he surrounds himself with bright people and soft things, the way it doesn't register that his crew genuinely loves and cares about him, the way he's terrified of losing anyone important to him again (and I would say this is one of his biggest downfalls as a Captain compared to someone like Luffy - who is just as reckless as Law is but trusts his crew, doesn't try to send them away, isn't afraid to let them grow and risk their lives for him like Law is with the heart crew), his inability to take a damn compliment. The way he doesn't understand Luffy AT ALL.

Doesn't understand that this alliance that he's brokered means nothing to Luffy because he sees him as FRIEND. No transactions or mutually beneficial pacts necessary. Doesn't get that he's the one that inadvertently asked Luffy to be his friend, thus breaking a long chain of people (mostly parental figures and siblings) abandoning or leaving Luffy behind/no one taking the first initiative to ask to be around him. Law is complete and utterly in the dark as to why someone would ever bat for him when the stakes are this high for no other reason than because they like them and care about them as a person.

Luffy, with his playground rules where he loves unconditionally and will take on the world for a friend he made five minutes ago, perplexes Law with his sheer simplicity.

When Sengoku tells Law, "Don't try to find a reason for someone's love", I do NOT think he takes it well. Because there must be a reason. There has to be. Between the two options of Corasan saving Law's life and freeing him because he believed in the will of D., or Rosinante saving him for no other reason than because Law was a kid that was loveable, and because he loved him unconditionally... everything we've learned about how Law functions up until this point suggests the former will always make more sense to him, and after everything he's been through, is most likely less painful for him to accept.

[olderthannetfic]

I am most definitely beating a dead horse with this ask, but I gotta say something cause it's just boiling up inside my chest right now.

We all don't really like the the author for Heartstopper because she put down Asian BL and it's "Bad kinky feithisatization" and basically saying her Western work is pure and non fetishy (Fucking shoot me.)

And it just reminded of an author who did that several years back, definitely to a lesser degree though. They still did it and I remember I stopped reading it because it felt so fuckin performative and it left such a bad fucking taste in my mouth.

Author of the Webtoon Castle Swimmer had a chapter come out maybe between 2021-2022 where the main character (they are guys, they are gay for each other) saw each other again after they were apart for quite some time. When they reunited, there was as scene of them kissing and it getting juuuuuust a tiny bit spicy, not much though. It was cute, it was nice.

I go down to the comments where authors can put notes down for the webtoons and the author had written something along the lines of how the story isn't gonna be icky sexual and there is going to be no fetishy bullshit when it comes to the two main characters and fucking blah blah blah and basically implying that other webtoons that do turn sexual with it's gaybies are impure scum.

Don't know if they still feel like that

But my question is - why the fuck do these supposed queer authors or authors that make queer content always trying to save face and say that their content is better than that "icky shit",

Like fuck, Castle Swimmer has pretty decent rep in its story, but I can't seem to enjoy it when I feel as if its just their as a "HEY LOOK AT MY STORY IT HAS THE RIGHTS THINGS TO LIKE"

and unfortunately that's how I feel with most lgbtq webtoons, books, etc. Idk maybe I'm just cynical and tired or maybe they just suck at writing and incorporating queer themes and characters - I have no idea.

This probably could be worderd a lot better to bring more nuance to the table, but I am so upset at Castle Swimmer because I like it a lot, I just can't past the bullshit.

--

Rest assured that the desire to shoot oneself in the foot is not restricted to authors of queer works.

"My version of this genre is so much better" is a common malady among all sorts of creators.

This particular flavor has a little more stupidass purity culture and sucking up to the mainstream, but it's not so different from the many flavors of "There's no good ___ fic, so I'm going to write some!" and "I, a ~literary~ author, know how to write genre fiction better than you hacks!"

[honey-on-your-tongue]

Learn to Love

Request: Can you like write something about jake and the reader being in an ‘arranged marriage’ and jake coming home after the ceremony and fucking his anger out on the reader consensual ofc 🛐🛐🤭

This one goes out to @yourmomdotcum69. Sorry it took so long, bae!! But it's finally here!! <3

Did I proofread this? No. So if you see mistakes, please don't 🙃

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Your heart is beating out of your chest. You can barely hear the Tsahik as she speaks of Eywa and this union and how it will be prosperous for all.

Your breathing is heavy, uneven, terrified.

You don't even dare glance at your betrothed, at the oloeyktan. He seems calm, seems to be pleased by this, but there's something in his eyes that tells you otherwise...

When the match had been made, you were sure you'd find a way to get out of the arrangement. You were convinced Toruk Macto would choose someone else. You thought the Tsahik would rethink her decision.

Turns out, you were in denial the whole time.

It's happening now. You and Jake are being sacredly united. Nothing will be able to pull you apart, and if you try to leave, you will bring shame to yourself and your family.

You have to stick with this. Have to learn to love him...or at least coexist with him peacefully.

As the ceremony slowly comes to a close, you think to yourself, I'll give him kids. Two, probably. That's all that duty requires from me. There's no reason to go beyond that...

The ceremony is consummated. The People cheer. They offer you compliments and hugs and bracelets and necklaces. You feel numb. You can barely breathe.

Jake Sully is attractive, of course, and you're not upset at the union...You're just...unsure. You're being asked to love and live with someone you barely know...That's what makes you uneasy.

There's a feast after, but for the life of you, you can't remember a single thing about what happens. You offer fake smiles, polite nods, quiet thanks. Your mate barely glances at you the whole time.

When it's over, when night falls, you know as much as he does that it's time to give oneself to each other.

Your legs are trembling, weak as the oloeyktan helps you up from your seat. It's the first time you two exchange so much as a glance. He smiles at you, but it's an empty, forced smile.

You're terrified, nervous, uneasy...So many emotions are running through you and you don't know which to pick.

He leads you to his tent—now your tent as well. He wordlessly leads you inside and closes the tent flaps after himself.

You stand there in your pretty beaded top and ornate necklaces, in your frivolous loincloth and complicated hairdo.

He turns to you with a look of rage in his eyes, but the rest of his body seems completely relaxed. He takes a deep breath, rubbing at his forehead. “Look,” he starts. “This isn't going to be easy. I know, and you know—”

“Oh, it-it's okay,” you quickly say, afraid of displeasing him in any way. “We'll work it out...”

Jake laughs bitterly, his eyes narrow as he looks at you. “There's nothing to work out. We have no choice. All we can do right now is—”

“Mate?”

He blinks at you. “I was going to say set some ground rules...”

You blush but try to brush it off. “Ground rules?”

“Yeah. For our...uh, relationship?”

You frown..“Why would we need rules? We're just a married couple. This isn't some complex battle strategy. It's just...a marriage.”

He raises an eyebrow. “Just a marriage?” he echoes, clearly annoyed. “I'm giving my fucking life to you for the rest of forever and you think it's just a marriage?”

You fold your ears back. “Yes, it is just a marriage. It's just duty,” you counter.

He stares at you, wordlessly, his ears folding back and his eyes narrowing. “Duty,” he says flatly. “I just gave my life to someone who thinks I'm nothing but duty.”

You pause for a moment. “Well...you are.”

Maybe you should've thought that through, huh. You only realize this after the words leave your mouth and you see the look on Jake's face.

He raises an eyebrow, obviously vexed. He steps closer to you. “I'm only duty to you?”

You fold your ears back, tail swinging uneasily, but you stand your ground. “Yes.”

Your brain takes too long to process everything that happens.

Jake's huge body closes the distance between both of you and he grabs you by the throat to hold you against him. “Fucking unbelievable,” he growls, inching his lips to yours. He doesn't give you the chance to protest before he's kissing you roughly, needy, messily as his tongue pushes between your lips to tangle with your tongue.

You gasp softly, sparks shooting over your skin, your breath knocked from your lungs. You kiss him back, your hands holding onto his arms as he pours his rage into your mouth.

While he keeps one enormous hand around your throat, he moves the other one to your waist, pulling you closer so you can feel his hard-on poking your lower stomach.

The feeling makes your ears perk up, tail swinging with anticipation. Your nails dig into his skin and he groans lowly.

The scent of your arousal quickly grows thick in the air and it has Jake's heart racing, his cock twitching at the idea of being inside of you.

He leads you to the ground, trapping you under his large body, one of his thighs sliding between yours to press against your wetting cunt.

You sigh softly at the sensation, opening your eyes to meet Jake's dark, predatory gaze. You're eager for what comes next, curious, almost begging him. Jake can see it in your eyes, widened and pupils dilated as you stare at him, expectant.

“You just got yourself into a fuckton of trouble, girl,” he says, voice low and husky. He leans his mouth towards your neck, kissing your skin, dragging his sharp canines over your pulse. “I'm gonna have t'fuck that idea outta ya, hm?”

You shudder as you feel his teeth on your skin. “What idea?” you question, eyes fluttering shut.

Jake bites down on your shoulder, making you whimper lowly. He whispers in your ear, “The idea that I'm only duty. I'm going to be much more than just duty, you hear me? I'm going to be your man, your mate, your fortress. Understand?” His thigh adds more pressure against your pussy and you moan softly.

“How can I love someone I don't know?”

Jake kisses you again, shutting you up, one of his hands undoing your pretty loincloth with too much ease. He bites your lower lip harshly, surely drawing blood, and you whine.

“You'll learn to love,” he promises. “You'll learn to love me, just like I'll learn to love you.” He gets on his knees to remove his loincloth, and then his huge hands grab you by your hips. He pulls you to him until your ass rests on the top of his thighs.

Your eyes are wide as you stare at him, the scent of your arousal thick. He runs the bulbous head of his cock between your folds, teasing your clit before moving to your entrance. While holding your gaze, he slides into you slowly.

His thick cock forces your gummy walls to stretch in order to accommodate his size. You dig your nails into the rug under you, your back arching slightly as he fills you to the brim. You gasp, moaning gently, you eyes wide as you stare at him.

Jake grunts as your cunt tightens around him. You're so warm, so wet. His cock twitches within you, making your eyes flutter shut.

He doesn't waste a second. He starts pounding you, his hips slamming into yours with each thrust, his fingers digging into your hips. “Goddamn,” he groans. “Oh, fuck. This pussy was made for me, hm? All for me to use.”

You whimper as each thrust sends sparks shooting up your womb, the tip bruising your cervix continously. You mewl, eyes rolling into the back of your head as you struggle to keep up with his pace.

“I'm gonna fuck this pretty pussy until your silly mind gets rid of the idea that I'm nothing but duty to you,” he promises, his ears folding back as he relishes in the sensation of your slick dripping down to his balls.

You can't reply. You only whimper, the pleasure searing your womb, your breaths uneven and ragged.

Jake stares down at you, watching your ornate beaded top open to reveal your bouncing breasts. Fuck, the way he has the urge to leave hickeys all over them, bite them, suck on your pretty nipples.

Some other time, he thinks to himself. Right now, he's enjoying this position too much.

“You're such a fuckin' brat,” he spits, hissing as wave after wave of pleasure washes over his body. “You get mated to the oloeyktan and you're ungrateful about it. That's so disrespectful, such fuckin' bad manners.” He bites his lower lip, groaning lowly. “I'm gonna have to teach you to behave, hm? Teach you to be my good little girl.”

You gasp, body shaking, your eyes struggling to stay on his. Between a few moans, you manage to stutter, “I'm not—I didn't mean to-to misbehave, sir. I'm-I'm sorry.”

He chuckles but it's a dark, rumbling sound that makes your pussy throb. “You're a quick learner, aren't you?” He smirks down at you as he fucks you faster, harder. “You're a star pupil so long as you've got cock in you, it seems. Well, in that case,” he holds onto your hips tighter, threatening to bruise your skin, “I'll make sure to put my cock in you as often as I can. See if I get to shape you into a pretty wife who behaves and doesn't complain about me, huh?”

You mewl as he increases his pace, gasping and trembling, your eyes rolling into the back of your head. “J-Jake!” you whimper. “Jake—!”

He spanks your thigh. “It's 'sir' to you,” he says sharply, his tone leaving no room for argument.

You nod, moaning, your chest heaving up and down with each heavy breath. “Sir, I-I can't anymore! 's too much!” you whine, the pleasure within you turning into a coil in your womb, making your body feel like it's curling into itself.

Jake laughs, mean. “Oh, you can. I know you can. And you will,” he says, increasing his pace, his cock bruising your soft gummy walls, making stars dance behind your eyelids. “You're going to take as much as I give you. Without any complaints. I don't wanna hear you whinin' 'bout it, you hear me? If you do, I'll only punish you more. Do you understand me?”

You whimper. You feel like your entire body is on fire, your womb on the verge of bursting. Still, his voice is sharp and full of authority, and you know better than to argue. “Y-yes.”

He spanks your thigh again. “Yes, what?”

“Yes, sir,” you gasp out, your back arching. “Yes, sir. Yes, sir.”

He chuckles darkly, watching you as you squirm, struggling to manage the pleasure. “Aw, what's wrong, girl?” he mocks, smirking. “You look like you're on the edge of something there.”

You mewl, the ecstasy within you building up, making you unable to think, let alone fucking talk. You can only whimper, desperately nodding your head, feeling the burning pleasure grow within you, coiling tightly.

“Oh, fuck! Fuck, fuck!” you cry out, your orgasm rushing to the surface, threatening to leave you dumb from its force. You're a whining, sweaty, writhing mess beneath Jake.

He watches you closely, feeling how near you are to your orgasm from how tight you grow around him. He grunts, his eyes focused on your face as one of his hands splays over your hip, his thumb reaching your clit and playing with the swollen, needy bud.

You moan loudly, eyes rolling into the back of your head, your body trembling as he touches your clit. You mewl and tremble, your orgasm crashing over you, leaving you in a blank state of bliss.

Your ears are ringing, your heart is racing, your breathing is heavy. And you can't really feel anything. As you slowly regain awareness, you realize that Jake's still fucking you, his cock still pounding into you with more vigor and need than before.

You whimper, the pleasure too much, and you can feel a second orgasm growing within you, too strong, too quick.

“N-no!” you stutter out. “No, I can't 'nymore! Please, sir,'s too much!”

Jake keeps going, saying, “Yes, you can. You just have to take it, hm? Take it like a good girl for me, yeah?”

You mewl, legs trembling, eyes fluttering shut. So you take it, mewling and gasping, feeling the pleasure build up within you.

Jake groans, his own orgasm near, and he's getting off on watching you struggle with managing the pleasure.

“I'm gonna fill you up, girl,” he says, his voice thick and husky. “I'm gonna come inside you and I'm gonna give you a baby, hm?”

You whimper, the idea sending shivers down your spine. “Fuck! Yes, sir, please!” you moan, trembling.

He smirks, chuckling lowly. “Yeah, you wanna be full with my baby? Want me to stuff you full, girl? Full of my cum and my baby? Want everyone to know you're mine?”

You mewl, trembling, nodding as you gasp. “Sir! Please, yes, please! Please, sir!”

He chuckles, feeling himself getting closer. “Then imma stuff you full, girl. You're gonna take every last drop, you hear me? Every single drop.”

He keeps pounding you, making you whimper and moan. You come for a second time, your pussy clenching around his cock, sending him over the edge. He groans softly, throwing his head back as he gasps. His orgasm crashes over him, his cock twitching as he comes inside of you. His warm load spills into you, sticky and thick, making you shudder.

“Fuck!” he gasps. “Goddamn, girl. Oh, this pussy's something I could get used to.”

He pulls out of you, making you gasp softly, and he watches his cum drip out of you for a moment before he lies on the ground beside you.

He kisses your forehead gently, wraps you in his arms. “Are you okay?” he asks. “Was I too rough, baby?”

You snuggle up against him, kissing his chest. “I'm okay,” you say, smiling gently.

He chuckles softly. “You did so well for me, you know that, right?” He kisses your shoulder. He's quiet for a moment before softly telling you, “I know this isn't ideal. I know you would've preferred to choose your mate, but...I hope I'm the kind of man you would've chosen. I hope I can make you happy and safe, and I promise to take care of you. And I...” He sighs softly. “I understand if you don't love me. I do. I won't hold it against you. All I ask is that you give me a chance. Let me show you that I can be the man you need...Please.”

You smile gently, cupping his face before kissing his lips tenderly. “I'll give you a chance, Jake. I promise. And I'm willing to love you. Love is always learned, and I'm sure you're someone who's easy to love.”

He grins, pressing his forehead against yours. “Thank you,” he whispers, closing his eyes. “Thank you so much.”

That's all he wants, all he needs. He's willing to move heaven and earth if it means he'll get you to love him. He's keen on making this marriage something more than duty. He's going to make it a home, a family, a fortress.

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@kamcrazy123 @yagirlheree @sweetllamaparadise @neytirishottie @crazy4books1

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Blog masterlist

[stormblessed95]

So I just had some thoughts about the minimoni exchange that I really needed to share - their relationship is so cute. There was one thing that I'm confused about and I wanted to know if it was just me lol, and that's the narrative Jimin was telling about how Muse came about. That Pdogg asked him what his thoughts are, and Jimin said he's been feeling a lot of apathy lately (I'm paraphrasing here cause I can't remember the words!).

Then he went straight into talking about how the album is about having a crush, but he said he can't remember the last time he had a crush. And he had to have help from a younger producer to talk about what a crush was like. He didn't really go into why he wrote an album about having a crush when he said he can't remember the last time, just that he's been feeling not much excitement lately. He even explained this albums emotions as "vague." If I could go into depth about it, my interpretation (could be completely wrong) is that it's an explanation of coming to terms with his sexuality, that the expectation that he fall in love with women but no matter how many relationships with women he's had he just can't find the one. Until JK comes along....

Sorry my thoughts are all over the place 😂😂. I just wanted to know if someone also found it confusing or it's just my ADHD brain!

Hello my love! I'm probably going to use your ask to talk about Muse as a whole I think. Hope that's okay ❤️ I'll make other posts for the songs individually if I have more I want to say in depth about specific songs.... Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and theories too! I love them!

My thoughts and feelings about Muse as a whole below the photo 💜 disclaimer that these are just my thoughts and opinions. I am in no way claiming this as fact or truth and unless I'm quoting something, these are all my own words. Everyone is entitled to agree or disagree as they see fit.

This will be a longer post.... So strap in I guess!

SO! To start, Pdogg shared with us that Jimins album/SMGB was in part inspired by the Beatles conceptual album "Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band." He said, and I quote:

"It was inspired by a conceptual album like the Beatles' 'Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band.' And I tried to incorporate the excitement I felt when thinking of Muse into the songs. The flow of emotions is directly reflected in the track order, so it will be more fun if you focus on that."

Intro: Rebirth and Interlude: Showtime is what gives that connection and crossover from FACE, with its sound and chorus use, into the new concept and album I believe. Which Jimin has explicitly stated that Muse is not connected with FACE really at all. But that does give its connection and crossover from those first 2 songs. So you could EASILY listen to them back to back and find it flows smoothly from one sound into another!

Face is clearly about introspection, facing oneself, that vulnerability and overcoming that pain. It's about freeing yourself. Muse seems to be conceptually about finally feeling free enough to pursue that prospect of love and being open to those feelings. It was brought up by Minseong Kim, his performance director, in VMagazine that (I'm paraphrasing) they basically were focusing more on his masculine side and expressions for Who and in Muse. While in Face, Jimin showcased more of his vulnerabilities and his more feminine side and expressions. Specifically seeking out that contrast. Full interview here:

Now I don't know about you ... But it's giving gender. And I love that. It's not something new for Jimin, he leans into that contrast within himself alot. It's really giving gender fluidity. And I think that's on purpose. Jimin doesn't do things by accident. He thinks through everything and Jimin is in charge at the end for his projects. And considering how OFTEN this concept of *both*, of feminine and masculine, comes up in Jimins personal projects/stages, it's clearly something important to him that he wants to be highlighted.

Jimin absolutely had full control over the stories he wanted to tell in each song, even Who, where he didn't have full writing credits. He explained the thoughts, feelings and ideas he was wanting to express. We saw him in the behind scenes of things having direct input on his songs, the MV, and creating his own choreo. The Talent 😍 we were specifically told that Jimin "directly explained to them what he wanted to convey and the direction he wanted to take for this album and each song. This allowed us to put together tracks that are more musically diverse, but still feel right for him." Quote comes from an interview article from the Clash here

Similarly shared in another article, Pdogg said "We made it with Jon Bellion in New York. I remember Jimin personally explaining to him what story he wanted to tell, and he was really embarrassed/shy. I met Jimmy Fallon by chance in the studio next door. We played the song for him for the first time after we finished working on it. In fact After finishing work on the 'FACE' album, we went straight into the production of 'MUSE' and I thought, 'He's working this hard before his military enlistment?' Thanks to Jimin's hard work, you'll be able to see his musical journey, which has grown even more." From here

Okay, now that we got all those interview snippets out of the way from Jimins team.... We can get into more of Jimins words and my own thoughts/theories here too.... 😏🥰 But we like to work theories off facts, so we gotta get our base line!

Jimin finished recording his album in June of 2023.

Jimin stated in MMM that the first 5 songs in his album were basically the emotions related to having a crush and confessing your feelings. That would be:

Intro: Rebirth

Interlude: Showtime

SGMB

Slow Dance

Be Mine

And then the 6th track, Who, he takes it all back and is like no, that's not really true. Where he also lets us know that there really isn't a connection to FACE in the grand scheme of things.

To start with the title too.... Who are the Muses? The Greek Goddesses of artistic inspiration. Jimin has been drawing from Greek Mythology a lot recently, with Apollo and Artemis featuring in his photofolio too. Now while the basics premise of a Muse is and can be very romantic in nature, it isn't always. Jimins album Muse is inherently full of romantic songs, but I also think it's clear from his talk on MMM that this album is not JUST about looking for your run of the mill, romantic relationship and love.... But being in search of your passion, your heart and your desires. It's the expression of yearning. Yearning for love, for life, for his music, his work, his Identity as a person and an artist, to feel excited over something and look forward to something. He specially says to RM during MMM that he isn't sure if he will ever be satisfied with himself as an artist or find a version of himself that he is fully satisfied with (I'm paraphrasing). It's the idea that this search for his Muse (that satisfaction in himself and as an artist) is ongoing and probably will FOREVER be ongoing. Hence why in the end of the Who MV, after all that back and forth with so many people.... He is still alone. That search is still happening. Hence also why this desperate search of who his heart is waiting for is at the end of the album, not opening it up. He still hasn't found her, the Muses. His satisfaction. The yearning that is driving him forward to grow and learn and adapt and dig deeper into his art, is still there.

Jimin has a lot of control over his projects. His albums, songs, and performances. As he should. But it's important for everyone to remember that this album starts and finishes with JIMIN. And what he wants to say and express, this is his art, his emotions and his ideas, regardless of if he has help writing lyrics or not. To bring this back to my last paragraph above.... Passion as an artist is something plenty of people can relate to, but not everyone. Romance on the other hand is something *almost* everyone CAN relate to. And bringing those feelings of yearning and desire for passion and excitement and translating that into feelings of crushes, first love, romantic connect. Brings that full circle and is the outward Expression he chose to help represent the emotions and feelings he was trying to express through this album. I think it's also important to note that while Jimin expressed his desire for excitement and passion and how he is still looking for that.... He made sure to make it clear that he is happy and content with where he is at and who he is currently. These things can coexist!

Who in general could have some takes and theories about sexuality and what not, like anon said, I've definitely seen a variety of theories out there. I do think Jimin has long since come to terms with his sexuality though, but that doesn't mean that the inspiration from that couldn't still be drawn on. I can talk about that more in a post I make specifically only for Who. Soooo many things could be said for Who! Lol and if you've read this far, look forward to my post for Who and thank you for making it through my ramblings!!

[kittyoverlord]

Queer Converts at Chabad?

It's more likely than you think.

I'm putting this together because as someone whose practice tends more "traditional" (for lack of a better term), and someone who is very obviously Queer, I have found myself relying on Chabad every now and again, and have some tips for how to interact with the organization with minimal stress. Hope this helps someone.

For those who don't know, Chabad is the "missionary"* branch of Chasidic Judaism, an ultra-Orthadox Jewish community which holds some of the most bigoted beliefs you'll find in Judaism. At the same time, Chabadniks are some of the nicest people that you'll ever meet.

My first experience with Chabad, I had just started learning about Judaism in college and had very little context about the wider Jewish community. During Sukkot I happened upon the local Chabad's sukkah in the middle of campus, and decided to pop in. They were holding a learning session about the meaning of the Lulav, and through a line of questioning I learned for the first time about Family Purity (Nidah) laws, and I piped up, "What if you're gay?" To which the Chabad Rabbi kinda stumbled over his words and said, "Well, simply put, you can't be gay." or something to that affect. I said, "Oh, ok." very calmly, realizing what I had walked into, thanked him for the Pizza, and respectfully left.

I've also had some good experiences with Chabad. There's a local Jewish festival in my town every year, and the last time I went I visited both of the Chabad booths (one for the university, and one for the general town). I can't remember which, but one Rabbi wrapped tefillin for me, while the other Rabbi only offered to the cis men who walked up after me. I found myself surprised, but glad to fulfill the mitzvah, and we had a brief conversation about Jewish practice and being true to oneself. His words were very measured, but were neutral, not antagonistic.

This is just to give you a bit of context of what you may deal with at a Chabad house.

Today, on the last(ish) day of Sukkot, I needed to go shake a Lulav and eat in a Sukkah. I couldn't build my own Sukkah this year due to my health, and had also been unable to plan ahead to register for any local events. As someone who has struggled to connect with my local Jewish community becuase it's very spread out vs. where I converted, I don't have any connections with local Jews who may have their own Sukkahs. Hence, I turned to the last possibility, the everpresent Chabad.

I googled around and found the closest Chabad house, found an email form, and sent a quick email inquiring about stopping by to use the Sukkah. I also had a back-up house closer to the liberal bubble I grew up in where Chabadniks are more likely to keep their homophobia on the DL, but I couldn't find an email for them, so I was gonna call the next morning. However, I received an email respose right away and quickly was able to set up a time for me to visit their Sukkah.

Fast forward to today. The Rabbi was very pleasant and I was able to observe the mitzvot of the lulav and dwelling in the Sukkah, so mission accomplished. I had planned on what to say regarding my queerness - "Yeah, I live around here, I just tend not to fit in to many local congregations." which went fine. What I was not anticipating was the very pointed questions to determine how Jewish I was.

I had been thinking about what I would say about this after seeing this post from @vaspider. So I hit him with the "I started practicing in college where the Jewish community was really close together." We walked around it for a bit but he was practiced and ended up eventually hitting me with the "Are your parents Jewish?" then asked me where I converted. While I have little love for Chabad, I didn't feel comfortable lying to him, so I let him know that I converted with the conservative shul where I lived at the time.

The reason he was asking me such pointed questions is because he was trying to determine how much effort it would take to work me into the Chassidic community. If I were born Jewish, he would just need to convince me to strengthen my traditional practice and be a nice heterosexual woman. As a convert in another denomination**, he would need me to convert again with a Chasidic Rabbi before I could be fully incorporated into his shul.

Luckily, I was somewhat prepared for this possibility, so I wasn't taken totally by surprise. And I didn't really feel insulted - I know he subscribes to a very specific idea of the world that is fueling his actions.

I was also very consious to not offer my hand to shake, and he didn't offer his. A lot of Orthodox people observe a practice of not touching people of the "opposite" sex, and I didn't want to extend my hand only for him to refuse it. I wasn't trying to be stealth, but have a full beard, and wasn't sure where he would land on that.

At least after all of that he still had me shake the Lulav and gave me some noodle kugel to eat in the Sukkah. That's all that I wanted.

TLDR: Chabad has the reputation it does for a reason, but if you go in with a very specific purpose and knowing what to expect, they can be a valuable resource. They want you to fulfill the mitvot, so if you can put up with a bit of awkwardness and proseltyzing, it may be worth it to you. Of course, it may not be, this is just to provide some info for other Queer Disabled Jews who find themselves in need of a Jewish space in a pinch.

Edit: I told my Rabbi (who hates Chabad) about this and basically summed it up as, "I feel like a carry a little of your spirit every time I interact with Chabad, because I think I'm fueled out of spite. Like, 'I'm going to fulfill these mitzvot, even if you don't want me to.'" and he loved that. My Rabbi is the best.

If spite is what gets you there, use what works lol.

*I'm calling them missionaries because that's the closest term I could think of, however their goal is not to make non-Jewish people Jewish (that's prohibited), their goal is to make already Jewish people more Orthodox. Not that they'd turn away someone trying to convert.

**Jewish groups that vary by practice are more commonly referred to as "movements" as at the end of the day a Jew is a Jew so even different movements will respect eachother, but of course there's always exceptions and I just didn't want to use the word "movement" over and over again, so denomination seemed like a sufficient synonym.

[overtaken-stream]

This whole part is just King going, "My favorite color is dark, like my soul." also, this gif is so hot omfg I can't with him, I have a smut idea for him, and if I do, somehow wrap my head around it, I'll post it here and on ao3.

Yandere!King The Wildfire x reader Pt2.

It was a hasty decision, done in reaction he is unsure what to call, hardy he could handle himself when in your vicinity, it was a feeling of something intruding someplace it had no business being.

Similar to you in this situation.

His room was devoid of human touch, obviously because he barely used it, postponing his sleep until the flames on his back would collapse in on themselves, and he felt the consequences every time. It complemented his suit and the general aura he tries to surround himself with when dealing with Kaidou's henchmen, dark and containing no distractions. One specially made bed with dark covers, straightened against the wooden walls, on the other side was a wardrobe that seemed giant to a normal-sized human; unlike others, it was decorated and carefully carved, leaves, waves, ships, eyes, and unseen mysterious symbols were embedded into the burnt wood.

``It's an interesting texture.`` He remembers thinking, though he can no longer put his finger on how he got it in the first place.

And yet, in the grim surroundings, there was a light his flames could never compare to; warmth, no matter how hard he tries, will never radiate from him. It was similar to that dark house where he first laid his eyes upon you. You who have not changed nor moved on from that moment, you who trembles and shakes, cry and call out for help, insult him, and corner yourself in a place where you feel defended.

He has been in your shoes before, a long time ago, he can't be sure.

Perhaps the understanding is the cause of his heavy heart, taken away from home in such a way... He can feel his throat close up as your hunched figure shines in his view. Grime stuck itself onto your limbs, knees, and hands decorated with splinters of all sizes, hair matted and filthy from ash and smoke, and its smell follows him in his showers as he allows himself to let free of his suit. It's so recognizable.

And if his heart clenched everytime he saw you in this horrible position, nobody had to know. Not even him, it was a can of worms King won't dare to touch.

He remembers bits of information about his race, long lost to time and humanity, the whispers that came in the form of dreams speckled across his mind and reflections; the delusions and validity are mixed within his remembrances, the real and fake are smelting into and out of each other, his past is forgotten even by him, the lineage of mighty warriors feared by all is smeared across the walls with mud and blood mixed with heartfelt feelings.

In a memory long before the laboratory, his tiny ears picked up information, a word that defines and tames a feeling of awe he is experiencing—a SoulMate.

Lost words from his Ma that he was too young to understand finally make sense, a connection of minds, unconditional love, and a total understanding of each other. It's about being oneself and knowing others, a SoulMate is following and understanding One's thoughts, but They're right there with the One, side by side. Completing the soul and tying the Lunarian instincts of animals into a pretty bowtie. A Soul and a Mate.

Love at first sight doesn't exist because even if King has not experienced it before, he is not fooled by others' thinking, Love dependent on sight is lust.

But he didn't see you first, did he? He felt you.

Kaidou is not obligated to put up with a civilian within his chambers, under his roof, where the empire buzzes with insignificant life, but it has been hours after they departed from your home island, now a kingdom of ash and debris, a few hours he has spent watching you with motionless crimson eyes.

The monster gets up from the throne, the squicking of leather alerting you of his movement, forcing you to turn towards him; the last time he made any move was when he sat down on the chair you can't quite make out in the dim moonlighting, your quivers, and sniffles fade out as he gets further away from you, his broad back is turned.

It's time he explained himself.

The cold yet quiet air is disturbed when he lights up the flames on his back, coloring this room in warm shades.

Your swollen eyes and snot-filled nose could only gasp for air as he slowly turned his face back to you.

``I'll come back.`` he slams the heavy door shut.

The smell of smoke lingers in the air, the disgusting dirt of your suffering sticks onto your skin, seeps through the crack, and marks the invisible scars into your psyche.

You wished, for the first time, that a promise would be broken.

``tsk...`` the angry and tear-stained eyes turn away from the door.

Left unchecked, fear turns into irritation, irritation into anger.

Balled fists shake, out of fear, out of anger.

[noxer]

"Getaway - from hero to zero"

DISCLAIMER: Everything expressed is a subjective opinion that does not claim to be true or significant, I am not justifying anyone, and all this is necessary to simply examine one character under a magnifying glass.

I really love Getaway as a character because you can endlessly interpret him and his actions, even though he only appears in MTMTE and LL, which I remember were written by the same writing team. Getaway is interesting as an antagonist, especially since at first he is presented as a rather likeable character, and at the time of the events of MTMTE his motivation is still quite understandable. And the fact that it's getting such a negative reaction shows how well it's written (or how much people like Cygate). And he’s so pathetic that I want to tenderly bite his head off. So I want to put together what we have on this special agent and see what he’s like. After all, despite the fact that he is revealed to us in comics, we can only guess about many details, since the writers could not show everything as it is, so as not to disrupt the intrigue.

First steps

The only thing we know about Getaway's past is his telling Tailgate about his first battle, from which the newly activated Getaway escaped. I don’t want to analyze specifically the act itself, because it is quite difficult to judge whether this escape was justified or not (pro - what else did the Autobots expect from a newborn?; con - the other MTO, it seems, remained to fight). I want to talk more about the impact of this act on Getaway's personality. Because Getaway is definitely ashamed of what happened, since it doesn’t fit into the image he wants to create. The only reason he shares this story with Tailgate is to a) make Tailgate feel sorry for him; b) instill in Tailgate an even greater sense of hostility towards Decepticons; c) a kind of therapy - he needs to share this with someone, and he doesn’t feel an emotional attachment to Tailgate, that is, he doesn’t care what he thinks about him, plus, Tailgate still has to die according to the plan, which means he’s already won't tell anyone anything.

Shame in most cases leads to anger, either at oneself or at others. Getaway chooses the second, and begins to slowly accumulate resentment and anger towards both the Autobots and the Decepticons, that is, towards those who started this war and thus forced him to be born as a soldier. In addition, the feeling that he is now forever branded a coward lays the first bricks of Getaway's exorbitant ambitions, as a way to make amends for his initial transgression. Let's add to this the very status of Getaway as literally a consumable item - the fact that he could die in the first minutes of his life was quite expected. Then attempts to become something big become a matter not only of ambition, but also of banal survival, because a specialist is less likely to be sent directly under fire than an ordinary soldier.

Diplomatic corps

We know almost nothing about Getaway’s work in the special unit. What I want to highlight here is Getaway's attitude towards Prowl. He clearly has a certain respect for him, and we have no reason to believe that this respect is feigned, if only because Getaway's behavior is in many ways a copy of Prowl's, only a little more inept. Getaway tries to manipulate like Prowl, tries to scheme like Prowl, but since he has less experience being the one who plans the operations rather than the one who executes them, things do not go entirely smoothly. Honestly, I can't get out of my head the image of Prowl berating Getaway not for attempted mutiny, but for how clumsy it was.

I mean, his entire plan rested on one Tailgate, and if something happened (and it did), all, literally all the threads would lead to Getaway. Getaway tries to be smart and accurate, but in the end his actions still amount to brutal blows to the head (sometimes literally), simply because that's how Getaway is used to acting. He is an operative, not a tactician or strategist. He acts here and now, with small goals like “kill X”, “successfully escape”, “survive”, and when fate confronts him with the need for long-term planning, Getaway simply cannot cope. No matter how manipulative the scriptwriters make him out to be, for the most part Getaway behaves almost instinctively. I highlight this this way because a similar pattern of “a small person (bot) trying to seem like something big” is clearly visible in Getaway’s behavior almost always. He tries to be an Autobot, but escapes from his first battle. He tries to be an "evil genius", but in the end, all his plans fail and he gets through only through luck and evil chaotic throwing, in the hope that something will work. He wants to become Prime, but does everything to ensure that his name is associated with this title as little as possible. Getaway may be a villain, but he's primarily a failed villain, not a villain with a plan.

"Primus apotheosis" - or similar symptoms?

I'm actually very wary of the whole "primus apotheosis" situation, because it was only added in LL, and therefore there are some doubts and inconsistencies with MTMTE, but more on that a little later. What do we know at all: there are certain signs that distinguish Prime from among ordinary bots, and Getaway, having discovered them in himself, becomes fixated on this. Why is that? Back to the “I’m-more-than-I-seem” pattern. For Getaway, it is important to be more significant than he is, so much so that he is ready to cling to semi-mythical descriptions just to feel better. In fact, these signs are no better than some “aryan standards” - they are just an easy way to gain superiority over others. For Getaway, “primus apotheosis” is only a consequence of his ambitions and inferiority complex, which took this form due to the war surrounding him and a certain “cult of Prime” that reigned among the Autobots. Since 1) i am a doctor not in the field of psychology, 2) we have no information about the Cybertronian psyche, 3) Freud’s diagnoses is not the most reliable, in principle, it is difficult to say whether Getaway actually has such a disorder, but if yes, it fits perfectly into his image.

Also, the “primus apotheosis” fits into another aspect of Getaway’s personality – his rather contradictory relationship with their god. The Autobots, unlike the Decepticons, in some places still retain a somewhat functional attitude, as well as faith in Primus. From this point of view, Getaway is in a rather unenviable position - he is a MTO who ran away from his battle, that is, in some sense, did not fulfill his function, he is constructed cold, that have long been considered second-class, he is a murderer, no matter what he said. And Getaway simultaneously hates Primus for who he created him, who he forced him to be, and longs for recognition and forgiveness from him. Becoming a Prime was about affirming that he was worthy, that he was forgiven, that everything he had done was right. Because if sinners like Optimus and Rodimus could become Primes, then so could Getaway.

Mutiny

We already know that Getaway hates his origins, and this anger is constantly projected onto others, but especially Megatron. The logical chain is as follows: “if you had not started the war, I would not have been created as MTO, I would not have had to become what I became, I would not have had to prove my right to life, I could have been like others.” For Getaway, Megatron is another obstacle to being as valuable as the others. He dared to start this war, and made Getaway's life like this. I also wonder if Getaway might see killing Megatron as some kind of “redemption”? "I killed the greatest monster in our history, something previous Primes couldn't do, I'm not that hopeless, right?" However, even if you remove the specific reasons, Getaway will still have the motivation to get rid of Megatron, because of whom many, many cybertronians died. Removing the one who started and supported the most destructive war of your species away sounds like a good reason. And Getaway does everything for this purpose, at least until the ill-fated events of LL.

Crucial moment

The difference between Getaway MTMTE and Getaway LL is quite noticeable. In MTMTE, Getaway is motivated precisely by his hatred of Megatron as a military leader; his “primus apotheosis” was only added into LL. In MTMTE, Getaway really was a mini-Prowl - he had a completely understandable and even justified motivation - to get rid of an objectively dangerous crew member - which he solves in a not the most humane way, using Tailgate. Getaway in MTMTE has a lot of likeable traits until we are gradually introduced to his slightly less pleasant sides, making it difficult for us to know how to feel about him. Yes, he put one of the beloved characters in danger, but he did it for a reason we can understand. We get asked a pretty tough question, which is great, right?

Now forget all this. Because in LL, Getaway does terrible things for terrible reasons, and his “primus apotheosis” is revealed, and it just becomes difficult for us to respect him at least as a villain.

But why is this even the case?

Doylist explanation

It was vital to the writers that the core cast was Always Right™. In MTMTE, it was quite easy to sympathize with Getaway (unless you are a fierce fan of Tailgate and Cygate). And since the main goal was the redemption of Megatron, Getaway had to be removed. Because Getaway's character asked this question: "Maybe Megatron can redeem himself. Maybe he deserves it. But what if we, who suffered from his decisions, are physically unable to forgive him after all? Don't we deserve our good ending?" And the writers didn't have an answer to that question (because there's no right answer). And they had to make Getaway much worse so that readers would not have the slightest desire to understand and and accept his ideas.

Watsonian explanation

Getaway has really, truly gone crazy. He has currently spent some time in a cell, unable to move or speak, having previously been held captive by Tyrest for an undetermined amount of time. Yes, Getaway is an operative, his psyche must be prepared, but everyone has their own limit of strength. Getaway later leaves the team at the mercy of DJD because they were the ones who threw him into the cell, even though he was doing them a favor by getting rid of Megatron. Thus, he allows his partner and friend to die, which is also unlikely to contribute to mental health. And as time goes on, Getaway's actions become increasingly desperate and insane in an attempt to survive and reach Cyberutopia, where he hopes he can find forgiveness for all the terrible things he has done. In the end, his last actions are, in order, 1) an attempt to blow up the ship along with himself; 2) unsuccessful suicide attempt; 3) an absolutely senseless attack on Cyclonus, either out of desperation or in the hope that he would kill him; 4) he lost his sense of reality so much that he believed the illusion created by the scraplet colony. By the end of LL, Getaway is more of a hunted animal than the calculating saboteur he was in MTMTE.

Bottom line

So what do we get in the bottom line? Getaway was destined from birth to become a bargaining chip in a conflict to which he had nothing to do. His unsuccessful "debut" began his quest to become something significant, in the hopes that others would forget who he was. Prowl gives him this opportunity, which is why Getaway begins to see him as a role model, adopting his worldview, ways of acting and attitude towards others. At the same time, Getaway “grows up” in an environment where some stereotypes and prejudices, including religious ones, still persist, and there is also an idealized figure of Prime. Since his promotion to special agent has hardly changed anything for Getaway about himself, he becomes fixated on the supposed signs (perhaps with the occasional intervention from Skids), although most of the time he "keeps it under control" until something serious happens. Getaway has loyalties and principles, he can have feelings towards others, and I don't believe his attempts to kill Megatron were always purely selfish. But Getaway puts these feelings aside in favor of “more important things,” because the fear of being a nobody again, of being just MTO running away from battle, is stronger than all his attachments. Getaway is a terrible (and rather unhappy) bot, not because he has always been like this, as they tried to present it in LL, but because between real significance - being important to someone - he chooses false significance - being important to everyone, which the same as being important to no one. It is still easier for Getaway to run away, chasing something illusory, than to fight for something important. And no one is to blame for this but him.

[stars-and-clouds]

what is your personal take on astarion remembering the first decade of his slavery and the "darling boy/sweet man" that he didn't bring back? do you think he had romantic feelings for this person or do you think they were just the first of many other innocent souls that he had to stop feeling sorry/caring for because of what happened afterwards?

I have made a post about this before. Not exactly this, but I reference that incident as a sign of how protective a person Astarion naturally is.

I think Astarion is naturally a protector. Hence the fact that he even chose to be judge so he can help people find justice. Might not be the only reason he studied law, but certainly would've been a part of it.

I think when one is in the situation Astarion was in, one would find oneself finding anything to justify one's actions, especially when one can't control them. So, Astarion must've told himself, "most people are flawed or bad in some way so it's okay if I take them to Cazador." It's their punishment for not being better people. It's fair in a twisted manner of logic.

But, that logic must've not worked when he met this innocent guy, who was a "sweet, sweet man," and a "darling". I'm sure he would've felt very protective of the boy and maybe even liked him. It would've been wrong to take him to Cazador because there is no reason. That's why he ran away.

So, I don't think he was in love with the boy. Astarion is a realist and he would've been under no illusions that he can sustain any relationship with anyone outside of the palace (or even inside it. Slavers keep slaves separate bc there's power in unity.), nor would he have had the emotional availability for love. He doesn't even the emotional availablilty for it in the main campaign until act 3 lmao. He could've had a soft spot for the man, but not love.

I think Astarion stopped caring not after the boy but after Cazador's punishment. I cannot imagine even a few hours of being inside that tomb, let alone an entire year. That has to completely change a person. It is a lot of time to panic, think, breakdown, reflect, create resolutions and completely 180° your entire perspective on life. That's when I think Astarion became as selfish as he did.

He prayed to be saved, no one did. He tried doing good by saving the boy, and he got punished severely for it. He wanted to be a magister and be on the side of justice, but he got kidnapped for it. I feel like the boy was taken anyway by some other spawn, just to spite Astarion as well, so him running away was useless too.

I think being in that tomb changed Astarion completely and that's when he decided that being helpful and 'good' is not the right thing to do, so he became who he we meet in the main campaign. Selfish, ruthless and a realist.

[dwangan-wonpwa]

11 things that kokichi ouma hates, in no particular order:

literal murder

absence of free will

being vulnerable

meaningless violence

lying to oneself

lies made for absolutely nothing but the sake of seriously hurting people on purpose—malicious lies, to put it short

people who make said lies

boredom

when you manipulate a trustworthy person to kill another person you were cooperating with, and in the trial you "realize" the former is "lying" so well that you—someone who's talent is based off of your ability to read people—can't even detect their tells, meaning that they were so much smarter than you realize, but despite their intelligence they still choose to play the "façade" of a clueless, innocent idiot. so you condemn them, to try to corner them out of their lies—out of disdain for being deceived this whole time, out of fear for having lost control since you can't see past their act, out of pity for someone that has been hiding behind a falsehood like the same way you have for the entirety of this killing game, or out of the desperate need to prove yourself wrong, that they were a liar to be kind to people, like you, like DICE, you can't pinpoint the reason why. maybe it's some, maybe it's all of them. either way, they don't let go of their "mask," insisting that they don't know anything, they're a gentleman, and gentlemen wouldn't kill people, honest! again and again, the same illogical attempts at a defense that everyone else just accepts. you wonder: why are they sticking to this front so stubbornly (you're asking that?), when they can just play along and defend themselves with a lie to incriminate you further? almost everyone would believe them anyway. what you've saw, what you've done, what you've realized, everything that's been happening… it's too much. you snap. if they understand that, then why aren't they doing it right? argue back already. use your head and make logical arguments to reach the verdict both of us want. just make an excuse or whatever. they still don't relent, and they go with the same answer: i don't know anything. you're so sick of hearing that, it's what they've been saying this whole time. you yell and scream at them with frustration, your composure breaking, before the detective reveals a truth that explains their behavior: they don't remember killing anyone. at this point, you know it's over, since the detective is bound to figure out the truth, and everyone is listening to him, so you speed up the trial to end it as quickly as possible. you antagonize your former partner, to ensure they die with hatred towards you, if they didn't already. but they don't. they don't hate you, even asking everyone to remain be friends with each other, including you. they get sent to death with tears and guilt, without knowing why they killed in the first place. you manipulated someone so kind into murder, berated them, and sent them to their death.

pig feet

those little monokub cunts