#I can't guarantee they will be as high effort as this but I can't even predict myself

[unproduciblesmackdown]

pondering a framework of Theme re: deh as like, the tension between having an idea of people that can be whatever you want it (them) to be, vs the realities of people that that idea doesn't cover, whether by conflicting w/the idea or being [more stuff you don't know]....from the aspect that doesn't really get taken up by audiences in how like, via the distance of Social Media you can be dealing w/those Ideas via what people choose to share to present an idea, and not see behind the scenes into the reality (which is like, this whole show could've happened with the [social media] component excised & replaced by other mediums/methods so it's not the most surprising that nobody's going "yeah my takeaway is that this wouldn't have happened if evan had been more offline & faced a book instead of facebook") to like Thee In-Person Relationships he's having

the whole story's focused on evan dealing w/the Ideas more so, putting in most of his effort on trying to offer Thee Idea of [whatever he thinks they want from him] to the murphys, and then to others beyond that via tcp, and then that all inevitably falling apart b/c reality didn't align is most of the runtime....the ending's always just kind of peak baffling b/c it's like, a Resolution sure is difficult when it's maybe more so been like Stuff Happening and then like, what does evan do to deal with The Realities instead of the Ideas....that would potentially be a whole second story from that point lol but he gets the (i guess first part of) resolution needed from like, confronting the supposed reality of himself (but still just an Alternate idea about himself in going like "im the guy who sucks plus i got depression") and this can be handled by his mom, who he also can handle realizing is admittedly not some Ideal of [the concept of The Mother] which is like, okay, except where do we go with that....here where they go from that is "not peacing out from each other's lives" but also like, "being in each other's life at all" is kind of just a peak basic premise of having any relationship, not the highest bar here or in & of itself a guarantee that now this is All He Needs, Really

meanwhile I Guess his second part of his resolution is meeting with zoe, i mean, It Is in that that's what the show offers as finale lol. but where zoe's kind of here to mostly talk about Ideas as still being helpful, including that i guess we can assume her life is fine Enough now just b/c her parents aren't going to divorce? like i think it would be better for everyone if they did, actually lol, but there seems to also be this [assumed shared assumptions w/the audience] aligning with Normality throughout of like, thee truly important, Necessary, Real relationships here are like, parent/child, parent/parent, [your dream soulmateship] as proto-[parent/parent] ideally surely, can i make it any more obvious what more can i say....for example iicth is agonizing to me lol like being hit with the details of evan's like Secret Joke Smile Bandplaying mini monologue is like oh my god lmfao. this is peak An Idea territory, like you're just making shit up about her but clearly in an Idealized way, and the song says nothing abt Why he likes her, personally, while for zoe it's just offering this contrasting idea to Her idea that idk connor hated her like skiing, or what all, and/or the possibility that there could've been a different dynamic....only us(tm) is back at it lol like yeah sure In Theory that evan shouldn't have to be on the defensive waiting to let people down but like, it's all downhill from there, like zoe should also be Able to say anything she likes about evan specifically, isolating yourselves & ignoring everything else = not great, actually. and it Could be examined like, i guess your just being a nervously polite someguy boyfriend who was supposedly separate Enough from all the stuff about connor was a nice enough distraction while it lasted....but i have no idea why zoe is still particularly fond of evan as The Idea Of The Romantic Ideal Of It All in the conclusion like, girl what. what did you guys ever talk about. the most like Interaction is that pre iicth moment, where also zoe's like grilling him about what classes his mom takes & where his dad is & why he doesn't appreciate being poor & is calling him weird & all which is still more interesting than the Non Interactions they will now proceed to have for the rest of the show lol

anyways it's just like, so far as we know All Evan's Needed for the year and a half has been his mom not hating him so much she wants to leave, and he's doing fine....like idk fine sure maybe but it's like, it's sure just like, the most important connections are "we held hands & That Status was magical regardless of like, being able to express the least Specific Thing we liked about each other, or talking about anything" and "at least my parents aren't divorcing, so things are good" and "at least my parent isn't disowning me, so things are good" like, i mean are they lol. maybe, but hardly a guarantee via these facts, and very like "yes you'll encounter conflicts w/your ideas of people that require effort, better focus that effort on the Peak Atomized Normal(tm) Relationships which are so most important that they're required, and so required that they're most important: nuclear family, and monogamous cishet lifelong romance as your path to nuclear family (the next generation)" like yeah man if you talked to zoe once ever maybe everything would be the same. what then? nonrhetorically.

and that also The Idea/ls vs The Realities of people, when it comes to Family, also only goes so far when the authority of Thee Parent is this foregone unalienable fact, so that the "yeah i'm not perfect" Fact of a parent's personhood doesn't have to translate into effort to do things differently (for the child) but rather means the child is supposed to lower expectations and just accept whatever negative experiences imparted by the parent, b/c also They're Your Parent so the child's required to have that Relationship just regardless of what the specifics of the relationship Actually Are. like how i guess dating is amazing & important b/c you sure were dating. cue heidi just cutting through an apparent breakdown of her actual relationship with evan with the aggressive I'm Your Mother, to be revisited when the murphys aren't your Family....and then concluded with kinda a [i'm your mother: nice mode] situation of like, guess you'd better Hope your parent/child relationship exists at all and is good enough, like you'd better hope your eventual romance exists at all and is good enough, both for forever, with these also being the only connections that can Really matter rather than like, what, peers you don't date? friends, acquaintances, strangers? log off & do family game night

anyways it's all like, not expecting or wanting deh to be like "any of this is all good or all bad," and that goes for like the [the actual person, beyond being able to be Known In Full] and [the ideas crafted to make enough sense of things along the way] and how too much Idea can be dehumanizing, but you also can't write everyone off as black boxes of the unknown so as to Never Get It Wrong if you even exist proximately to them....but it's like, if we're going like "hmm why do we feel so isolated" like i have some ideas and it's not "just call your mom" or anything. the deh finale doesn't have a character who gets to be like "what the hell" or suggest anything's still shitty so it's like, yeah great that there's (everyone needed it for / it's) Something, but we could even have some more things

[number44newseries864962]

Need to rant for a minute because even though I have very much been enjoying the fruits of my efforts learning how to sew vintage style clothes, I just swapped out old fatphobia (nice plus size vintage clothes never making it to stores) for new fatphobia (trying to find patterns). Cause it doesn't end at what clothes you're able to buy already made.

I finally bought a Friday Pattern Company pattern the other day, and man it made the bare minimum feel like I was being spoiled. The sizes go up to 7X (that's XL, XXL, 1X, 2X, etc, so there's 9 sizes above L) they had a thin and a fat model on the cover! Usually I'm barely lucky enough to get an XL, and I'm just expected to guess how it's going to look on my body. The majority of their patterns have two differently sized models on the covers, and all of them have that full range of patterns inside.

It is so hard to find good plus size patterns, even if they're available, many companies just scale up their mediums and I can't guarantee they're actually sized correctly for a different shape. As good as Friday is, them and other modern indie pattern companies aren't easy to find.

Okay well what if I went another step deeper, what if I forgo patterns all together and decide to be completely independent and draft things myself?

Then I'll need a plus size dress form. I got lucky and found one at an antique mall for 50$ but these are incredibly rare and more expensive than smaller ones. I'll need to learn how to draft patterns, something that was taught to me on a XS form by my college and nearly every tutorial out there. Drafting close fitting clothes for fat bodies is a completely different skillset, because all that extra fat is much squishier and shifts more. Measuring yourself correctly and getting the shape you're looking for is far more important. Before I even got there I'd need to sketch out what I wanted to make, right? Well the patterning book my family got me only shows you how to draw tall, skinny people. A beginner would have to look up their own drawing references and tutorials because what what supposed to be a super accessible beginner's guide to fashion has decided their body isn't normal enough for the baseline tutorial.

We're expected to be the ones who put in the extra effort. Digging to find the pattern companies that fit our shape and actually prove they can, paying extra in shipping or driving farther to pick them up. Having to search specifically for plus size tutorials for drafting and sketching. It's always treated like it's not part of the beginner's experience to be working with a fat body, that's just going to make people more frustrated and lost and less likely to pursue something they're excited about! Especially if it's in response to already being frustrated about the lack of clothing options.

We need a little positivity to this post so to end on a high note, here's me modeling the blazer I just finished with a shirt I made a couple years ago!

Being able to finally wear clothes I really feel like me in has been an amazing confidence boost. It's not fair that there's so many roadblocks in the way for someone who looks like me who just wants to wear things they enjoy.

[luffyadolover]

@acid-ixx here it is :))

(excluding first three drawings)

first drawing:

dick's excuse would always be "sorry, baby bird! but i promised to spar with damian today. ah, but you can watch from the sidelines!" or he would be too busy saving bludhaven to even acknowledge your presence.

second drawing:

you can't deny the bitterness and the clenching of your teeth whenever you stumble upon a room and see your father and your younger brother watching a movie together.

third drawing:

it was your teachers who would be the one having to walk you up the stage whenever you achieved an award. alfred would be too busy sometimes to attend your school ceremonies because he had to assist bruce with missions.

fourth drawing:

it's ironic, really, for a child to prep and plan for their own celebration just to hope that a single member of their family to even walk by the kitchen and join them in on their already lonesome celebration.

too bad everybody only goes to the kitchen when alfred cooks for them. who would want to taste sadness in a sloppily made birthday cake, right? nobody, not even you would have the appetite to eat your cake with the knowledge that it was you who had to put all the effort to bake it because you didn't want alfred to feel obligated to.

fifth drawing:

your family celebrates holidays together as a whole, but you never once attended after that one time where everybody had forgotten to get you a gift for christmas, save for alfred who gave you a bracelet (one that you cherished deeply).

sixth drawing:

the older sibling who he used to threaten with his sword, who he called vile names — a bastard child, he told you one day.

seventh drawing:

you weren't one of his friends, like kon who he would spend weekly video game challenges with; and you probably don't exist as his sibling in his own little world filled with coffee and computers.

eighth drawing:

casual talks are unavoidable, though, when at the dead of the night he would be caught sneaking in to eat some leftovers and you were conveniently awake at the same time as him. he'll recommend you some classic literature he read or 'cafes/restaurants that criminals visit the least' lists, but before it would turn into a full conversation, jason would already be wearing his signature mask again, and with a pat on your head and a "talk to you soon, can't guarantee it'll be tomorrow again though, only here for alfred's meals of course," and he'll be gone. you shouldn't have let your hopes high, you wished you didn't because, duh! he wasn't there to talk to you, specifically. you were just there to bide his time! wiping tears away from your eyes

[myalvmss]

⎯⎯ DATING HEADCANONS WITH AQUAMARINE HOSHINO❞

CHARACTERS. aquamarine hoshino, ruby hoshino, ai hoshino, akane kurokawa mention

MISSION. headcanons ; adventure mission, silent yet shining

WARNINGS. mentions of pregnancy & sex? this is mostly just me digging into aqua's character more and more, ANGST will most definitely be in this, but dont worry!

BUTTERFLY'S NOTE. special thanks to my friend named Ryu I guess LMAOAOAOAO. THIS IS SHORT??

⌗O1: when I tell you, this man makes me frustrated every two seconds of reading the manga, I have a love and hate relationship with this man that not even scaramouche can compete with, BECAUSE RIGHT OFF THE BAT, HE'S A RED FLAG. BAHAHAHAH 😭

⌗O2: when you two first meet, he barely does effort in the so called friendship, or what he thinks of acquaintance.

UNLESS you are of use to his plan, so he'll probably use you, sorry bitch </3

⌗O3: this mf's ideal type is just someone like ai hoshino (imo NO ONE can replace her, not even akane sorry not sorry) and what makes you think you can pull off an ai?

i suggest you CHANGE him, not change yourself for him honey

⌗O4: this depends on your personality, but the relationship might be a sunshine reader while aqua's the grumpy one LMFAOAOAOAO

⌗O5: aqua doesn't engage in social media much, unlike his twin sister ruby. in other words, he's a boomer yet I'm not surprised so it's mostly you who takes pictures and videos of u both

⌗O6: you and aqua often go on dates at the cafe, park, or mostly private places where you two can get alone time with no interruptions

⌗O7: he's SO OVERPROTECTIVE ABOUT YOU. imagine yandere aqua omfg, he even makes sure that you're safe and doing well everyday

A caring boyfriend but a red flag 🚩

⌗O8: In the song, "MEPHISTO" I think there's a lyric where "I'll bet my life, I'll give it to you" would imply that to the people he cares about, aqua WILL risk his life for you. THOUGH this song probably directs to ai, or ruby? but either way, he still cares about you if you were actually his girlfriend. not just for his revenge plan, but purely his own love for you.

yet sometimes I think, "would aqua even bother asking you to be his girlfriend at a time crisis like this?"

It's a possibility he wants to keep you safe and unharmed from danger, so he'll probably lock up his feelings from you and keep it a secret so no danger will come for you, but it's not guaranteed </3

⌗O9: in an au where ai is alive, I wouldn't say that ai would straight away approve of your relationship with aqua. she's a mother, yes but not those kinds who don't give a fuck abt relationships ykwim?

when she first met you, she's a bit suspicious of you, especially if you're someone who's young, but your mind is well beyond your age.

It took a while, but she got used to you around with aqua and genuinely loves you

“you two aren't getting a kid, right?” just a few reassurances that YOU BOTH AREN'T GOING THE SAME ROUTE AS WHAT SHE DID.. “mama! don't ask questions out of the blue like that!” ruby come rescue us both PLS

“mama.. cut it out please,” insert a little bit of a flushed red aqua PLSS

⌗10: honestly, taking back the topic where you change aqua actually would work, because this man is wanting revenge and is willing to kill his father.

you can't be the one who helps him, that will end up ugly if he does succeed, because let's not forget how aqua can get arrested despite being a minor, yet he's 17 (currently in manga) and he might turn 18 soon enough

so you have to BE THE SAVIOR who changes aqua to be a better person and set aside this revenge

honestly. it's not worth it, I KNOW this is about ai hoshino getting her justice, but would she wanna see her kids in danger like this??

DON'T go off like "aqua this isn't like you 🥺🥺" NO LMAO. you knew aqua when he was 16, that's a super high possibility on who you met him, and the person he is now is just the same aquamarine hoshino you him at sixteen

just imo, you need to convince aqua that his revenge path won't do anything better for anyone's lives, because correctly he's ruining everything — the man probably doesn't care but you gotta make him care and move on for the better like how ai would want for him and ruby

ENOUGH WITH THE DARK SHIT LMFAO PLS AHAHAHAHAH

⌗11: if you're smaller than aqua, then he'll probably use you as a head rest

lay his head on your shoulder

rest his head on your lap

place his head ontop of yours

⌗12: SURPRISE BACK HUGS >>>>>

⌗13: whenever aqua is jealous, he always keeps it a secret from you so that you won't tease him about it

think of a scenario where you're talking to some guy on the street, a fan or an old friend;

aqua would slowly wrap his arm around your waist and pull you towards him WHILE giving the guy a very overprotective look

⌗14: he can't help it but aqua always compliments you in his mind, like how cute or gorgeous you are

⌗15: i like to think you both started getting together after his so-called revenge plan for his father

⌗16: aqua's careful around you, by that I mean when it comes to sex. he doesn't wanna end up being a replica of his father.

by that I mean, he'd ask for consent first for sex ( aqua's not entirely that kind of person who doesn't ask for consent )

and also would not have sex during his teenage years, as he prefers to have it at adult years ykyk

⌗17: you're a pain in the ass for him, gotta say that BAHAHAHHAHAH

⌗18: since in aqua's past life, he was a doctor ( bro's a DOCTOR. ) that took medical education, it's a high chance that he still remembers a few things

probably trauma from learning all that pain of a education lmao

⌗18: so whenever you get hurt, aqua's always the one who bandages you :))

⌗19: since aqua dislikes bell peppers, you probably shove those in aqua's mouth for shits and giggles AHAHAHA

⌗20: he acts like 'himself' (or the past him) when you're around, and you're the only person who could do that

“i noticed that he's like how he used to be when he's around y/n..” ruby spoke to herself, watching aqua and y/n from afar as a small smile appeared on her face. “I'm happy for them both.”

[aeithalian]

What even are the ancient laws?

I've been meaning to get around to this one for ages.

Anyways! Good question, guys! Answer: nobody fucking knows. Sure, we have good ideas. The laws are mentioned every now and then as a "oh, no little mortal child I can't help you - that's against the ancient laws. But hey! You can help me."

Let's be honest: the ancient laws, while there might be legitimate reasons for some of them, have transformed into yet another way that the gods hold themselves as the high and mighty overlords of the world, and keep their mortal offspring below them at all costs. But... why? Are the demigods really that dangerous to the gods? The answer: yes, but not to the gods - to Zeus.

Let's start from the beginning and list out everything we know about the laws. I did the hard work, you're welcome:

1. Gods cannot steal each others' symbols of power.

2. A god cannot initiate a fight with a mortal.

3. No direct interference - gods are not allowed to interfere in the lives and ongoings of mortals or monsters.

4. No more than 3 people are allowed on a quest.

5. Harming the sacred animals of a god is forbidden.

And that's it. Those are the only true mentions of the Ancient Laws in the entirety of the Riordanverse (at least, the Greco-Roman books).

And I think we all know what the most important one is. Direct Interference is the only one we see Zeus actively enforcing (or at least attempting to). But why is that? Well, stealing another god's symbol of power and initiating a battle with a mortal are physically impossible for gods, and the ban on harming a sacred animal is very commonly accepted already, as it's a guaranteed way to get your ass whooped. And the rule about having 3 on a quest isn't really something Zeus is going to spare the effort to enforce - starting a quest with more than 3 will typically guarantee that you come home with only 3, if at all.

But Direct Interference is the most interesting law, simply because it's the one that our demigod narrators are affected by the most, either in the ways their godly parents violate it, or refuse to do so.

There's plenty of instances where this law has had quite a bit of impact on the story and relationships. For example, Hermes used this law as a major reason why he could not help Luke or prevent him from raising Kronos. But let's be honest: besides Zeus himself, Hermes might be one of the only gods that actually obey this rule, despite the fact that he wants to break it. Just off the top of my head, I can name an instance in the series where every single Olympian at least toed the line of violating Direct Interference, except for maybe Demeter. And I'm not sure Dionysus counts, since he has contact with his half-blood children because of his position at CHB.

But there's something interesting even about the ways these gods break the law of Direct Interference. In most instances, these interactions with mortals happen when the god is in disguise, or through dreams. And, based on how little it seems like the gods get punished for breaking Direct Interference, we can only assume that Zeus is not aware of when gods talk to demigods via dreams. I mean, he's probably aware that it happens: Apollo, Poseidon, Hephaestus, Aphrodite, Hera, Ares (who occasionally follows the rule, but only as an excuse to not help a demigod out), Artemis (although she is subject to exceptions due to her domain), Dionysus, Athena (I think?), and Hades all do it at least once in the RRverse. I mean, you could also argue that dreams are a more indirect means if interference, but I can also see how that's an iffy argument at best.

So, what does this mean? If there is one thing I know about laws and rules in general is that people tend to break laws if the direct consequences of their own actions don't directly apply to them. Gods would probably respect the law of Direct Interference more if there was an immediate negative effect on themselves, aside from just the punishment.

Think of a law or a rule that people break all the time. Littering, for example. People do it all the time, even though it's bad. But why is it bad? A person who doesn't have a lot of forethought will drop a piece of trash and say 'hey, that doesn't affect me. The planet will suffer and this will be a pain in the ass to clean up, but I'm not the one cleaning it up, so why do I care?' If you don't care about the planet or other people cleaning up your trash, the only reason you have to not litter is that you're afraid of the punishment.

I think the attitude towards Direct Interference is similar. The only reason a god would obey is if they're afraid of the punishment, or if they respect Zeus enough to follow his laws (which, clearly, is not the norm in godly society). And even then, what is a punishment to an immortal being? The only way Zeus punishes gods that really matters to them is turning them mortal - and that's a very rare occurrence.

By that logic, we can assume that a violation of Direct Interference does not actually negatively affect gods all that much. To be honest, it doesn't negatively affect mortals either. Maybe monsters have the short end of the stick, but monsters didn't write the law of Direct Interference - Zeus did. So... why? Why does it exist?

My first thought was the Fates and prophecy - if gods can interact in mortal life without recourse, then it might fuck with the way the Fates operate. But gods have been interfering for the entirety of civilization. If they really had a the power to alter the future just by dipping a toe in mortal life, don't you think it would have been obvious? Even in the RRverse, there are plenty of instances, as I've mentioned, that gods have interfered in a quest, and said quest wasn't severely fucked over because of that interference. Take, for instance, Percy's quest to save Artemis - Apollo intervened, but where were the consequences of that? Where were the earth-shattering effects?

So what gives? Also, I'd argue that the gods would actually obey the law more if they knew it had such a negative effect on the proper functioning of the Fates, especially Apollo since that's his domain. So I'm going to say that's not the case.

So we're back to the first question: why does the law against Direct Interference exist if it has no effect on the gods or the Fates? In all references to the law against Direct Interference in the Riordanverse, never once is it explained why this law exists. Why would Zeus create it if violating it doesn't have some major world-ending effect? Gods are gods: what could make this law so important that it's the only one Zeus makes a true effort to enforce?

Well, it makes sense to me that Zeus would create the law if he's the one who has to bear the immediate consequences of it. Which raises the question: what are the immediate consequences? What reason could Zeus possibly have to separate half-blood children from their godly parents? HMmmmmmmMMMM.

Well, there's another interesting thing about the Ancient Laws: some of them don't apply to mortals. Mortals can steal a god's symbol of power, and mortals can initiate battles with gods. Imagine with me a scenario in which your enemy has an army that is not subject to the same laws you are. Gods are (as far as I know) physically incapable of stealing symbols of power and starting battles with mortals, but what does that matter if they have half-blood children that reach the power of minor gods, like Percy, who can do that for you?

It's a terrifying premise, if you're Zeus. And before you start telling me that I'm going down yet another far-fetched rabbit hole (listen - I always make sense in the end), we've seen Zeus go down this line of thought before, all the way back in The Lightning Thief. Remember???

Chiron said that the reason Zeus blamed Percy for stealing the Master Bolt was because the mines the Cyclopes used to forge the bolts is close to Poseidon's domain, and he thinks Poseidon has it out for him. Now, there's a theory running around the TOA fandom that gods can control how much power they hand off to their children (as seen with Apollo's children, who rarely inherit the power of prophecy, which we're willing to bet is something Apollo is controlling from behind the scenes), and if Zeus knew that Poseidon had had a child, it's possible Zeus thought Poseidon was trying to create a super-child just for the sake of overthrowing him. I'm willing to bet that one of his greatest fears is that an über-powerful child of one of his brothers would be used to steal his symbol of power and then overthrow him. He views demigod children like weapons that his enemies can use because they could be inherently dangerous to the standard structure of godly society. His main fear is somebody with the motivation of Luke having the power of Percy. And what do paranoid kings do when presented with the idea of their greatest fears? Make laws against them.

The only way Zeus could be sure that Poseidon would never intentionally have a child like Percy, then bring him under his wing just in time to start a rebellion against him is to ban that kind of interaction at all.

Counterpoint: you could also say that the law against Direct Interference was a way to protect the mortals against the gods who might harm them or do them dirty. Like getting women pregnant while in the form of a swan. Ahem ahem. Do you get my point, though? It's not like Zeus has any real reason to protect the mortals in this way, since he was one of the main perpetrators anyways, but it is a damn good excuse if he also wanted a reason to prevent a potential revolution led by demigods.

Now, if you'll bear with me for a little bit longer, there is one more interesting thing I'd like to point out: In the entirety of Trials of Apollo, Apollo (a god, obviously) only mentions following the Ancient Laws once. Unsurprisingly, at the time he's mentioning the law against Direct Interference, he's also violating it - when he kills Commodus to save lives, Rome, and for his own peace of mind. So, to me this basically means that Apollo doesn't give two single shits about following laws against Direct Interference.

Connect that with everything else we know about Apollo post-trials: he loves his kids, doesn't want to see them hurt, and is trying to distance himself from Zeus and godly society. Even pre-trials, he doesn't have any trouble admitting that Zeus makes his rules and laws difficult to follow - nobody is good enough in Zeus' eyes. I truly believe, if there's any person who, given the proper means and motivation to overthrow at least some aspects of the Direct Interference law, he would.

Just saying. Feel free to add on if anybody else has more thoughts!

[a masterlist of my other metas]

[ckret2]

How do you have the willpower to not consume content from any of your other fandoms? I always get pulled in and out of the same ones and it stops me from getting projects done but I get so bored! Teach me your ways!

So the downside of ADHD is that it takes a ridiculously high amount of effort to push yourself to do things—even things you want to do and like doing—unless you put even more effort upfront into making it convenient for yourself.

But the upside is, if you know this about yourself, and if there's media you want to not be consuming, you just...... don't do anything to make it convenient to consume.

I don't have Amazon Prime. All I have to do is not bother to get Amazon Prime (easy!!) and not bother to hunt out a way to watch Hazbin some other way (also easy!!) and bam, I've got a 100% success rate of not watching it.

Do you know how many Transformers series I'm currently behind on? I sure don't! Because I haven't put the effort into looking it up! I can't be assed! There's like, at least three I think! Don't tell me, I'm not currently interested in finding out!! It would take work for me to figure it out; I can just go "work?? Naaah. Not doing that."

You can resist temptation by just being too lazy to pursue it! Make that ADHD work for YOU!

Caution: if you can't get yourself to put effort into doing anything that brings you pleasure, that's either Pretty Serious Depression or it's gonna cause Pretty Serious Depression and it's not good. However. If you master the art of ADHD, you can save up the effort you didn't put into distractions, and use it to put effort into different activities that also make you happy.

Last year I picked up a podcast about cults. It's all right. But because I'm already listening to it and spotify keeps pushing it to the top of my screen, when I need a low-effort audio distraction, it's easier for me to default to putting on the podcast about cults than it would be for me to, say, dig up The Magnus Protocol to start it. And bam! Now I'm doing more research that'll help me write about a cult leader, for free, by listening to a podcast I'm not at risk of hyperfixating on!

Part of avoiding breaking your own hyperfixation is figuring out what media you enjoy, but don't hyperfixate on. Because you still need to, like, have fun. That's why you wanna watch The Things You Like, because it's fun. If you're not having fun you'll wanna go watch The Things You Like, and rightly so. So you've gotta make sure you're having enough fun with things you don't hyperfixate on.

Like, I know that when I watch Columbo or read Poirot, I find the detectives charming while I'm observing them, and then almost as soon as the mystery is over I stop thinking about them. They aren't the kind of characters that latch into my brain. I know they won't become blorbos. So I'm safe there. I know I enjoy horror movies but 99% of the time totally forget who the characters are, like if there's 2 white guys and 2 white girls it is guaranteed I won't be able to tell them apart, so they're safe to watch, I'm not gonna hyperfixate on them. I know that I enjoy nonfiction/educational books & podcasts, but I only hyperfixate on fiction, so it's safe for me to pick up nonfiction. If it's nonfiction that's somehow thematically relevant to whatever I'm currently hyperfixated on, it even helps feed the current hyperfixation.

And those are my "protect your hyperfixation" lifehacks.

On the other hand, if you, anon, don't personally have ADHD, then I can't help you. idk how people with executive function function.

Final advice: if you know you keep falling in and out of the same 3 or 4 fandoms, maybe try writing a crossover fic about all 3 or 4 fandoms at once. That way it won't matter which one you're currently into. You win no matter what. I've never actually tried this, don't trust this advice.

[just-my-latest-hyperfixation]

Spellbound

Written for the @steddiemicrofic challenge, September 2023 edition. 

Prompt: charm, 548 words

Rated: G

CW: none

It's not Eddie’s fault.

Magic's almost extinct, everyone knows that. Even in families that still possess it, it's waning with each generation. 

Sure, Granny could brew a love potion before breakfast and had an evil eye that made the neighbors quake. Wayne makes teas against different ailments, has this knack for finding the right ingredients. 

Eddie though? Nothing magical left in him. 

Okay, there was that incident in middle school where he told Hagan to eat dirt, and later, he face-planted off his bike and cracked two teeth. Everyone thought Eddie was behind it. Hilarious, 'cause he wasn't. 

He'd know if he was, right? 

Sure, he's incorporated it into his Freak persona. It's nice when the apes at the top of high school hierarchy think their drug dealer will jinx their asses for complaining about his prices. 

It's all working out rather well for him. 

Which is why he's surprised to find Steve Harrington, the King himself, sitting awkwardly on the picnic bench behind the school one afternoon, looking so pretty in his desolation Eddie wants to cradle and console him.

Even more so when he produces his trusty lunchbox and Steve shakes his head.

"I'm not here for that." His voice is low, gold-flecked eyes darting this way and that. "I was hoping you could … help me with something else." 

*

"So, how does this work?" Steve asks, carefully handing over a lock of dark hair. "You'll turn it into an amulet for me to wear? Make her fall back in love with me?" 

"A charm," Eddie corrects. "I can't guarantee it'll work, though. I can't summon feelings that aren't there, just… amplify those that still exist." 

Steve nods and licks his lips, pink and full and shiny in the afternoon light. Eddie's heart flutters, just a bit.

"They do. Nancy's the love of my life … I just need her to remember." 

Eddie swallows. This doesn't feel like anything he should get involved in. It never ends well, meddling with matters of the heart, Granny always said. Then again, Granny was magic, and Eddie's just a fraud. 

He takes the lock of hair and Steve’s money. 

*

He doesn’t know why he goes through all the effort - waits until Wayne is gone, then digs out Granny's grimoire. Maybe it's the memory of Steve’s eyes, so sad and full of that desperation to be loved. 

It's stupid, he thinks, while he lights the incense and lays out the materials on his desk - a piece of fabric, some string, herbs and stones, the strand of hair. 

Nancy isn't right for Steve, he thinks, while he reads out the incantations. He could do so much better. 

Someone who sees him for the sweet, vulnerable soul that he really is, he thinks, while he adds the stones and herbs to the pouch. Someone who'll shelter him, make sure he's never hurt or lonely again. 

His hand hovers over the lock of hair. His eyes flick to the scissors in the pencil holder. 

It doesn't matter, he thinks, as he stuffs the charm into his pocket, sweeps Nancy's hair to the floor. It only works if there's feelings to begin with, and it's not like he's even magic. 

So everything that happens from here really isn't his fault. 

[deadletterpoets]

Completely stealing this summary from Reddit so here's the link to that (new link since original reddit post with this summary was deleted)

'Dragon Age Dreadwolf' was internally planned for a September 2023 release but got pushed back to 2024. Currently it's planned for Summer 2024 at the earliest but could be pushed back even further (likely by the end of next year, but possibly even as late as March 2025, aka the end of EA’s fiscal). Incidentally, the next Mass Effect has been pushed further as well, as some people from the Mass Effect team have been pulled to work on Dragon Age instead. As for EA, they have started to acknowledge internally that Apex Legends, their major money-maker, is on the decline. The live-service hit has historically been able to offset the costs of their other studios, including BioWare On that note, the publisher has also recently restructured its operations. Unlike before, EA Sports is now evaluated separately from their other gaming efforts, which now fall under EA Entertainment. By decoupling FIFA and Madden from the rest, studios like BioWare will now be under more pressure to justify themselves to the publisher and its shareholders. Consequently, BioWare now finds itself in a bottom rung position at EA, making them the most obvious candidate for layoffs. Morale is low, these firings won’t help, and Jeff does not feel optimistic about the studio’s longterm future, particularly if Dreadwolf doesn’t land.

I post this to say this confirms my unfortunate belief that Dragon Age Dreadwolf has to be the best game Bioware has ever done (which frankly isn't gonna happen) and unfortunately kinda has to have the combination of a mass appeal, high quality, and mainstream success Bioware hasn't had in YEARS. And if Dreadwolf doesn't do what it needs to do, well the next Mass Effect can't be guaranteed.

I will say it'll definitely suck if Bioware as a whole ends up going under, but it'll suck hard cause EA caused it with their practice of neutering and changing so much of what made Bioware work as a major gaming company for so long. And now it's such a shell of what it was before this attempt to save it puts so much pressure the team doesn't deserve.

[luimagines]

Hear me out...

Reader who knows about the "someone will die" from the Sheikah Slate.

Reader who ran the numbers, and realized Legend and Warriors were the only ones who had nothing left to guarantee, or even hint that they survived, unlike Time, who has to have Twilight, Wild who has TotK, Sky and Wind who both have to found Hyrule.

Reader who also knows about the grey area, the ones that should survive this journey, but only based on flimsy evidence or who will meet a terrible fate soon enough. Hyrule, and only his game guide stating he is destined to become a great king, Four and the Palace of the Four Sword.

Whether they know this through playing the games, reading the comic and being isekaied, or having some sort of gift of prophecy, they know about this.

And they're determined not to let it happen.

If the heroes die, game over. Reader isn't the protagonist. They're a sidekick with all the death flags raised.

A Reader who is determined to take the place of whoever will die on this journey, because they can't let it be any of the boys. The world is better off if it's them, and not the boys, right?

And if they were isekaied as a human, a Chain of Links blaming themselves. For not seeing the courage hidden in a human. For not having the wisdom to see beyond the surface. For not having the power to stop this. For allowing their prejudices to get in the way of seeing the signs.

And on top of that, a Reader who plays into the prejudices. Who acts like a "big, scary, greedy, traitorous human", because maybe they can soften the blow of grief if they make themselves somebody nobody would grieve over. Reader whose words will conflict with their actions, saying "I don't like kids", then raging at a monster for going near one. Maybe Reader wasn't even ready to die. They're still scared to the end, but so determined. They still have family back home, they still had plans for the future. But, they're probably assumed dead anyway. What does changing a false into a truth even do? They notice these thoughts, and go through sleepiness nights so their brain won't even have the energy to think them...

Anyway, remember to get 8 hours of sleep and drink some water as well, dehydration is bad for you.

I've actually thought of that idea before of a character with the "nothing to lose if I die" attitude because if the the Hero dies, it's game over.

However, I think that Link (any of them would do) would be able to see through their act because they're perceptive power combined would be too high for Reader to hide all their intentions and lies.

And I had to say one thing, I think Reader would still pay attention with Time as well. Because it's heavily implied that he died young and we know that he died with regrets. The fact that Twilight exists isn't necessarily enough to stop that. In fact, it might be the very thing that could cause it.

Meaning, Reader has to do double the effort to not only keep the Old Man alive, but to also focus on any of the other boy's blind spots as well.

[thevanillerose]

ICHI | YANDERE!TOORU OIKAWA x READER | HAIKYUU!!

~ WRITING COMMISSIONS ~ ~ PATREON ~ ~ KO-FI ~

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not own anything except my own writing. All properties belong to their respective creators.

Girls loved him for his looks. Boys loved him for his volleyball skills. Sometimes the two were interchangeable, but one thing was definitely certain. Tooru Oikawa was one of the most popular students to ever attend Aobajohsai High, if not the most popular.

That was why he was considered #1. Ironic, considering he wore #13 on his bib.

The brunette, handsome faced boy seemed to have everything. There was just one problem.   He didn't.

If he could have everything, then you would most definitely be a part of it. You were the person that kept him up at night, drove him nuts tossing and turning, holding onto himself and imagining you there with him. The thrill that came from playing a good game could not compare to just imagining how amazing you might be. He'd give it up in a split second if it meant he could have you.

Often he would see you sitting at the side and watching his games, cheering him on with that beautiful smile and those gorgeous [E/C] eyes glistening with enthusiasm. You didn't play yourself, but he could tell that you were passionate about the sport, and more importantly, he could tell that you enjoyed watching him play it.

So he made his best efforts to look as attractive as possible for you. You weren't someone who only valued looks, but aesthetics were always important. If he ever got any sweat on his brow he would tug up the bottom of his shirt, pulling the fabric and exposing his midriff while he wiped it. He'd deliberately jog close to where you were sitting, and make sure he was showing off his athletic figure. He even wondered if you'd enjoy hearing his slightly weary panting after he had played hard.

Anything. Anything at all, he'd make sure your eyes were always on him. But he never worried about it. It seemed to already be guaranteed after all. Of course you'd say yes to him when he finally asked you. Why would you ever say no? There was nobody better that you could find.

That was what he thought at least. That was how he viewed things, but from your perspective things were significantly different. You had no idea what went on inside Tooru's head, and so you didn't know of the romanticized thoughts he was having about you. All you knew was that you enjoyed watching him play.

He was such a talent. Even with his injury, he played on like a pro. Maybe he was a little bit arrogant, but nobody was perfect. He had his flaws like everyone else, and you liked him all the same. But...'loved' him? Unfortunately for Tooru, that wasn't how you felt.  

This bitter truth came to light the very day he ushered you aside after a game and took you into a quiet part of the boys' locker room. You initially fretted about being in there, not wanting to seem like some kind of desperate pervert, but Tooru insisted there was no need to worry, as nobody else was in there. He'd made sure to check. He'd made quite sure you would be alone for when he finally asked you:

“[Y/N], will you go out with me?”

At first, those words made you a little shocked. Then...you started to feel that creeping, dreadful sensation. The impending rejection on your own part. Why did you have to ask me this?

 Like a storm cloud, it finally caught up with you and you couldn't escape from it. Holding your other arm, you sighed out softly, immediately shattering the illusion he'd been having this whole time as you spoke in glum but honest return: “I can't, Tooru. I'm sorry.”

 It took him a moment to come to terms with what you had just said. His eyes blinked, and stared at you. He could feel the sweat still lingering on the back of his neck from all that exertion now mingling with a new kind. It was ice cold, like a creeping finger on his back. He could practically hear himself being mocked... Idiot! You think you're all that, but if you really were then she wouldn't reject you!

 No...no! Logically this made no sense! Angered now, he suddenly looked at you with demanding eyes.

“Well you must have a really great reason, right? Because there are so many girls who would kill to be in your position right now, don't you know that??”

 Now this was a side of Tooru that you hadn't expected to ever see. His brow had furrowed slightly, hazel brown eyes zeroed in on you like missiles about to strike land.   “You're kidding, right?”

“...No...I wouldn't lie to you like that. I don't think it's fair to lead anyone on...” you replied, so bewildered by this sudden attitude shift that you almost couldn't think of anything to say at all. “I'm just being honest. My only reason is that I just don't feel that way about you.”

 Tooru had been hoping you would tell him that you just had too many commitments, that there was some tragedy in your life that had happened recently, even that you had a boyfriend already (which he figured would be easy to get rid of), any kind of valid excuse not to date him besides...not being attracted to him.

 But no. It seemed that you really didn't feel that way about him after all, and he simply couldn't wrap his head around that. He would have given up learning the biggest secret in volleyball if it had meant he could understand why you were telling him this. Why it was the case at all.

 Why you didn't love him, despite the fact that he was perfect boyfriend material. Tall, attractive, athletic, smart, well spoken, a high achiever all round. What was anyone else when compared with that?

 What smarted too was feeling like he had wasted all that time trying to seduce you while playing games, even if subtly so, and now it was like you were throwing it all back in his face.

 His stomach turned. This was literally sickening to him. You were looking at him so innocently, as if you truly had no clue how much of his precious world you had just torn down with your cruel hands.

“...Cruel...yeah. It's cruel...” “Cruel?” you asked, confused by his silence followed by this sudden saying. “Yeah...” Tooru nodded slowly, head low and shadowed all of a sudden. “It's cruel how you can so easily knock down everything a person has ever worked for...”

“What? What are you talking about?” you were baffled, literally spluttering before you actually responded: “I rejected becoming your girlfriend, but I'm just one of millions of girls out there- billions even! And if your fanbase here in school is anything to go by, you won't have a hard time finding someone else.”

 You were working on your own logic, just as he was working on his, and both of you were clashing.   “Look, I don't want an argument...so I think I should just go...” you turned away from him.

 To Tooru, the fact that you could even suggest that he would pick anyone else was only one thing. Insulting.

 And how dare you?  How dare you insult someone as perfect as himself?

 His hands shot out all of a sudden and grabbed you by the shoulders. You squeaked with shock but he ignored your cry as he simply held you fast and slammed you back against the locker, making the metal rattle, and causing your body to hiccup. “To--!”  His free hand clamped over your mouth before you could say anything else, squeezing your cheeks as something of a warning.

 This was the first time that Tooru had ever really touched you. There was nothing romantic about him literally pinning you to a boy's locker, stifling any cries with his hand. You only flushed when you felt his knee slip up between your legs, propping your comparatively smaller body up in-front of his own.

 Tooru stood there for a moment, watching you as you quivered in his hold. Your eyes were wide with alarm, and no wonder. That had happened so out of the blue he was almost startled by it himself.  

“...You talk like you know everything, and yet you seem to know nothing about me. Not really.”  Tooru's brow softened in a condescending expression, his lips pouting slightly while he spoke and rubbed his thumb against your cheek. “Because you should know that I'm number one, in every regard. That makes me better than any other boy you might like.”  He dug his nail into the plush skin he was caressing, and smiled as you closed one eye, wincing. “And I bet you like other boys, don't you [Y/N]?”

Just like that, his slightly clammy hand slipped away and you panted, breathing properly through your mouth again. But he didn't let you go though. Instead, that same hand soon returned, only this time so it could gently slip around your neck and grip it with a little firmness. This made you cower all the more, but Tooru only looked at you expectantly with one dark eyebrow raised.

When you didn't answer, he gave your gullet a little squeeze. Then you talked. “I-I do! I can't help that!” “Hmph.” he smirked and loosened up again, watching as you breathed in some air shakily, treating it like precious alcohol. He loved having so much leverage that he could literally control every minutiae of a certain situation. Dating was so much easier when you were completely in charge.

“Maybe not. But that doesn't matter anymore.” Tooru's head tilted, and he smiled sweetly, but it was undoubtedly sinister, “Because you're mine now. And that means no more thinking about other boys okay~?”

You only kept looking up at him in that cutely frightened manner. Tooru couldn't resist it. He pressed his knee firmer against you, watching you go even more scarlet and look down shyly. His hand only tilted your chin up deftly, lips meeting yours in a seductive kiss.

He was stronger than you. He was faster than you. He was smarter than you. You were outmatched. Completely.

His tongue consumed your mouth, hands ravishing your sides while he kept you pinned taut between the lockers and his tall body. His 6 foot figure dominated you entirely, casting you in a heavy shadow which already spelled so many levels of doom. And when he parted from that kiss, wiping his mouth and giving you that famous one-eyed gesture, he then let that cheerful, aroused little smile of his fade into something more sinister and serious again.

Alone in the locker rooms, without a single other soul there to hear either of you, the only thing you could focus on was the sight of him running his tongue across his bottom lip, eyes never leaving you in that hooded manner. “Face it. Nobody is better for you than I am. Don't insult me by pretending I'm not the best that there is.”

His hand reached out then, warm as it cupped your cheek, but cold and callous in intention. The words he spoke were practically oozing with that arrogant, venomous attitude you'd never known he had, only faintly cloaked by a sweetness that seemed all too false.

“We both know I'm the perfect man...”

Like my writing? I can write for you! Check out my WRITING COMMISSIONS!

[phxntomhives]

About the reaction of Gregory in the latest Kuro ep

Here are some theories about his scream and his reaction at the fire. I love that they don't have much background info so we can just say whatever we want. It's not like anyone can tell me I'm wrong ✨ so here is some angst xoxo

I genuinely hope not one of these is true

1) His house burned down

I mean it still happens today, accident happens. So yeah, his house could have burned down. It doesn't matter your age, that would be traumatizing. On top of that, if a fire suddenly spread out, it is possible that some people may have not survived, adding more fear of fire. Anyone, from the servants to his family could have died in a similar accident, maybe he himself barely survived. Of course he wouldn't want anyone to get close to that hell, and will react badly if they try to do it. And you won't really stop to elaborate, especially if you see possibly seeing flashbacks of the scenes you already saw once.

He feels hopeless while staring at the fire and I wouldn't be surprised to see a tiny Gregory looking at the same scene and just be normally scared, a fear that will remain with him for life. It's the other prefects that somehow snap him back to reality, hopefully freeing him from the bad memories.

2) alternative: a friend's house burned down

Basically the same as before, but his house is lucky enough to not be the victim here. Just like Lizzie saw the Phantomhive manor burning down, he could have seen the house of a friend being devoured by the flames. And unlike the previous version... There is no guarantee there was a survivor. In the worst case scenario, he may have seen the people inside being able to run out of the building, but with high degree burns so extended and dangerous that they weren't able to survive. Maybe he had to see his friend/relative/fiancé come out screaming in pain, burned to the point of being unrecognizable, and later watch them die before his eyes without being able to help. And he just doesn't want to go through all of that again. He isn't letting anyone of them go any closer to the fire and put their life at risk.

3) Lost works

He is an artist. He made 4 different sketches (ok one was the labyrinth game BUT STILL) completely different one from each other, in something like 10 minutes? If that's is his average time to create a piece of art, just how many has he made in the years he has been living there? Thousands probably? Some may be silly or stuff that he doesn't like and he was just waiting to throw away, but others may be drawings he cared about, in which he put all of himself. Hell, maybe there are paintings that took him MONTHS or YEARS to make. And they are all vanishing in a single night. All the effort he puts in them, all the memories he saved as a picture, gone. Turned into ashes without him being able to do anything. Everything he has ever worked on burning in front of his eyes. He can't retrieve anything of those and is likely mourning them already. When the other students want to enter he wonders if they will put themselves in danger to maybe retrieve them. I think Edward trying to enter in particular triggered him, maybe the other students don't know him a lot but Edward has been with him for a while now, since he was Herman's fag/drudge. He can't NOT have noticed that Violet spend his time drawing and maybe he even saw some pieces that Violet was proud of. So he knows that the moment Edward steps in the building, he is likely to try to save anything that he can carry out, because it is important to someone out there. But getting any of those works may put him in danger. And therefore, Violet is scared. He is scared there can be other knightly heroes among the students, that will put themselves in danger to retrieve anything they can still save. "I can remake a drawing, but I can't bring you all back to life." and so he tries to stop them. He tries to do it as an introvert that is having a very bad internal crisis and mourning. But he tries, because while he cares of his art, he can't put it above other's people lives.

4) There are nudes

Hopefully I made you laugh with the title. What I mean is: it's their dorm, they have likely decorated it in the best way to suit their taste and expose themselves in the most true way they can. It's their place and they can be themselves in there. But they are aware they are considered the "weirdos" of the school. Some probably don't care but some may have decided to be truly themselves only inside the comfort of the house. This could also be true for Violet himself. So not only you are watching your home burning down, but now the same strangers that made fun of you, made you feel badly about themselves, want to enter? And potentially learn more secrets about the poeple that lived there? What they cherished and didn't want to share because they didn't feel comfortable to show? It would all be there in plain sight for anyone to see. And so Violet screams at them to not enter. The house can burn down for all he care, but he will let the precious secrets burn down with it so that none of them will have to risk their reputation at school (and later outside) because of him.

[orionsangel86]

You know, I thought we were done with the ageism in fandom thinking that its purely for teenagers? Because it doesn't help anyone to have the attitude of this (now blocked) anon. People don't stop having passions and being fans of things just because they get older. Fandoms thrive BECAUSE older people put in the effort to MAKE them thrive. Do you really think that 100k word perfectly written epic fanfic that you adore so much was written by a 16 year old? Because I guarantee it was more likely to be written by a 35 year old mother of 2.

That amazing cosplay of your fave character you saw at a recent comic con that took phenomenal skill and probably a good deal of expense to look perfect wasn't put together by a 17 year old high schooler, it was perfected through years of passion into a hobby that more than likely required a full time job and a savings account to afford.

That amazing fanartist who has the BEST art of your OTP that captures their likeness in a really gorgeous style? They weren't born with that talent. It takes years to develop a personal art style, and capturing a persons likeness in art is a skill that has to be nurtured. The best artists are the ones who've had years to develop their skills. They aren't school kids. I have had mutuals on this site for a decade now and I have seen how much their art has improved and become absolutely beloved. These are people who at their youngest are in their late 20s now. Most of my mutuals are in their 30s, some of the best fanfiction writers I know are in their 40s and 50s. The meta writers I know are also in my age group. Hell, do you think teenagers run AO3? You'll be surprised just how many "old people" make the best fanworks. If you removed them from fandom spaces, I guarantee you would remove most of the talent, because no offence to you kids, but that talent is something that is nurtured over time, and time and aging go hand in hand i'm afraid.

The people who make fandoms what it is, the ones running events, pouring themselves into analytical posts, providing the best fanart, coming up with the amusing memes and textposts that go viral? Do you REALLY think they are all school kids? Fandoms are made up of PEOPLE, and newsflash assholes, people AGE.

This attitude always amazes me. There isn't an age limit in fandom. This isn't fucking Logan's Run (bet you the kids won't understand that reference) and honestly if these kids genuinely think they need to give it up and quit at a certain point in their future I just pity them.

Fandom thrives because of the older people that have nurtured it for years and carved out a space where younger people can enter in comfort and safety. Which are only possible BECAUSE older people built online fandoms and continued to put in the work to keep them going. If we all had to stop caring and leave fandom at some specific cut off date, the fandom landscape would be a vastly different space - and probably a lot worse for being predominantly run by hormonal teenagers - heh, I guess it would be a lot more like TikTok and we all know how dreadful TikTok has been for fandom so far. If nothing else that alone proves my point.

At the end of the day, no one can stop the passing of time. Even the horrible children who send adults nasty anons. Eventually, they will be the "fandom elders" and receiving their own anon hate from a future generation of brats, I personally can't wait to be the very old lady laughing at them when that day inevitably comes.

[beetlebug-bii]

Hello! Can we get the next part in feral child MC please? It's very cute and now I'm excited it's okay if you can't I don't want to make you uncomfortable. I hope you have a wonderful day or night or whatever wherever you are! 😁

Feral Child Mc (unfortunately) Goes To School

A/N: of course! I hope you enjoy, I haven't slept in like two days and its two in the morning so xdtfyg I hope you enjoy starling! also I love your username so much hehehe

Content Warnings: Swearing, mentions of weed, biting, feral behavior written by a dumbass, silly goofy eepy times

REQUESTS ARE OPEN, FEEL FREE TO ASK TO YOUR HEARTS CONTENT -- p.s. previous Feral MC story at the end!

Do not ask me

How

You managed

In one week, one measly week

How the FUCK YOU MANAGED TO SET THE HOUSE ON FIRE SIX TIMES

FLOOD IT THRICE

AND SOMEHOW HOT BOX LUCIFER'S ROOM

no okay I know how that last one happened and it was Lucifers breaking point

Let's just say

You and Satan have a very...

Let's say complex relationship

Some days you're so ready to beat the shit out of one another it's a shocker that nobody has died yet

Other days the brothers live in fear

They can hear the two of you scrumbling in the walls desperately, gnawing at the wooden beams and gnashing your teeth at the thought of causing the entire building to crumble, leaving the two of you to sit upon your throne of rubble and bone...

Yeah the brothers DO N O T

Appreciate Big Brother Satan bonding time

Now you would never have thought to hotbox Lucifers room on your own, honestly Satan was pretty surprised you came to him with the idea and even knew what it was and like yeah he was absolutely gonna help you with that shit because it's so fucking funny but still-

Jokes on him

You didnt come up with it

No in fact it was the man in the walls

Which you have explained to the brothers and now all of them live in fear of some fucking guy just living in their walls

Well all except Lucifer for some reason but I digress

One night whilst scrumbling you came across the attic and low and behold there was just some fucking guy in there

And at first you were like

Hello? Whys there a twink in the attic?

Anyways he didnt take too kindly to you saying that bullshit outloud and the two of you argued over whether or not he was a twink for a solid two hours before he just kind of went

Damn are you fucking high on someth-

Wait a minute

Yo kid I just had the best idea

Anyways you didnt quite get it but you were guaranteed that it would be hilarious

And it was

For all of two hours

And then it wasnt

Because Lucifer came down from his high

And got filled with stress again

Like honestly the man probably needs it you did him a favor /j

Anyways

Then you were no longer allowed "free roam without a babysitter"

"No mammon doesnt count"

"No satan doesnt count either"

"You know what, none of you count"

And then you were put on A BABY LEASH

YEAH THATS RIGHT

HARNESS AND ALL

BABY LEASHED RIGHT ALONGSIDE CERBUS AND HIS NORMAL DOG LEASH

AND YOU WERE DRAGGED TO SCHOOL

On the bright side...

At least you're actually a kid

So it's nowhere as embarrassing as it is for Levi to be hooked to the baby leash and dragged to RAD

You arrived and you were so polite

Such an angel to be around

Is what I would say if I were a fucking liar

You got there and were on all cours growling at the other students

You ran into Luke and he TREMBLED

HE YELPED AND LEAPT INTO SIMEONS ARMS

DO YOU KNOW THE PSYCHOLIGICAL DAMAGE YOU JUST DID ON THAT POOR ANGEL

of course you do

you little monster

You spent the entire first hour of class absolutely gnawing on Lucifer's ankle and you could tell he was really holding back from kicking you

And then you had a brilliant idea!!

TEETH BITE

TEETH SHARP

BITE WITH SHARP TEETH

AQUIRE FREEDOM

and thus your chomp chomp mission began, you began tearing at that leash, and eventually your efforts paid off

You were free!!!

MC IS A FREE HUMAN!!!

And so you ran

You ran like your heart depended on it

Luke

Sobbing

Screaming

Crying

Get away from him you tiny psychopath

You came running at him down the hallway and what was he even supposed to do???

HE LITERALLY CRAWLED UP A RANDOM DEMON IN FEAR, THEN JUMPED ONTO THE LOCKERS AND COWERED

of course, you tried climbing up to befriend him

...yeah

he didn't like that

He called Simeon sobbing in a panic while smacking you away with a broom handle

then you stole the broom handle...

THEN YOU STARTED BEATING PEOPLE WITH IT SIMEON

P L E A S E

S E N D

H E L P

Simeon

Hahaha aw

what a sweet little thing you are

you're just a baby human!

awwwe come here sweet ange- AHHHH

WHY ARE YOU BITING

NO BAD HUMAN

NO BITING

He is flailing his hand trying to get you to release your pirannah jaws

This does fucking nothing you are LATCHED ON

YOU ARE GAINING FRIENDS

FRIENDSHIP

LIL BITE

Simeon

had to use his foot

He put his foot on your forehead and just had to kick you off before climbing up with Luke in fear

You were scampering around like a fucking shark

The angels were holding each other, reading off their wills

Barbatos and Diavolo

of course they had to walk down the hallway

right when you started climbing the lockers

causing the angels to scream at the top of their lungs

Diavolo

he

he couldn't keep it together

LISTEN OKAY DONT GET ME WRONG

HE FEELS BAD THAT THEY ARE AFRAID

BUT ALSO

YOU ARE SO SM A L L

WHY ARE YOU SCREAMING THEY ARE TINY

SOMETIMES THEY BITE THATS NORMAL PROBABLY

ITS CALLED TEETHING

DUMBASSES /affectionate

Barbatos doesn't quite know how to break it to him that...children your age are far past teething age

Nonetheless, Barbatos dealt with Diavolo as a child, how much worse could you be?

...

......

.........

No one

Not a single soul

Will ever bring up this day

if they want to live

He doesn't even know where you got shoelaces

YOUR SHOES ARE VELCRO

MORE THAN THAT HOW DID YOU GET ON HIS SHOULDERS

WHAT FUCKING MOVIES HAVE YOU BEEN WATCHING THAT TAUGHT YOU HOW TO PROPERLY CHOKE SOMEONE OUT???

SOMEONE NEEDS TO RESTRICT YOUR FUCKING INTERNET ACCESS

YOUR HIGHNESS, PLEASE STOP FUCKING LAUGHING I AM DYING FRFR

Solomon

dying frfr

wheezing

crying on the floor

he filmed it all

no more than that

he's live streaming

Lucifer is trying to call him

Lmao blocked

He snatched you up and fucking ran

You are his little buddy now

You are taking cover deep in a place where Solomon knows Lucifer would never look for him...

...

......

Kid don't you dare comment that we're in the gym right now

LISTEN

HE IS A NERD

A BOOK NERD

A MAGIC NERD

HE DOESNT REALLY NEED TO GO TO GYM CLASS NOW STFU BEFORE HE LEAVES YOU FOR DEAD

you know how like

in jail you make toilet wine?

well he made toilet teleportation potion

Just in time the two of you crawled in the bowl and flushed, disappearing as the brothers broke in

they'll never find you now

mwahahahaha

time to watch every season of breaking bad

watch and learn kid

watch

and

learn

Previous Feral MC Post:

[odo-apologist]

Smegtober #7: Sacrifice

     “I'd like to withdraw.” Nirvanah Crane stood in front of the desk in Platini's ready room. She kept her head held high and her gaze resolutely forward, past her superior and the incredulous expression he must be wearing.

     “I beg your pardon, Commander?”

     “I would like to withdraw from the competition against Arnold Rimmer, Captain.” She looked him in the eyes this time; she was right about the expression. He regarded her as though she had just told him that Titan orbited Pluto.

     “Commander Crane, you do understand the consequences of your withdrawal? That forfeiting this competition guarantees your termination?”

     Termination: such a sterile word for what will happen to her. They were going to kill her. She was going to die again. And unlike last time, there was no chance of revival.

     “I am completely aware of that, sir, and I stand by my decision. I do not make it lightly.”

     She had meant what she said to Arnold: she had never met someone like him. Truth be told, he fascinated her at first, but her feelings had developed quickly, alarmingly, into something more than just fascination. 

     Platini shook his head. “Commander, if you are resolved to go through with this course of action, so be it, even though I can't possibly understand why you'd commit to such a decision.”

     She didn't expect him to, nor did she expect any different from the others on board this ship. They viewed the world around them coldly and took their claimed perfection as a given. All of the relationships they had, that she herself had, lacked any depth. Arnold, for all his faults (and she could see he had quite a few; she wasn't a fool), let her get past the surface. He was vulnerable, he was desperate, and he was real in ways her crew had never felt to her. He held an earnestness behind his initial bluster–a quality lacking from her colleagues’ confidence which bordered on and tipped over into arrogance.

     She was never happy here, alone among strangers, and she would never be happy here, a realization made clearer by Arnold's arrival. However, maybe Arnold could. Finally granted something he confided to her that he wished for so fervently, perhaps he could thrive here. If her sacrifice ensured that, it wasn't a very difficult one to make. At least one of them might be satisfied.

     Platini turned back to his work, content to conclude the conversation. Eyes on the screen in front of him, he remarked, “You may report to the hologramatic deck with your decision, Commander. You were an adequate member of the crew and sexual partner.”

     “Yes, sir.” It was considered impolite, of course, not to return the sentiment, but she wasn't about to make the effort to lie. It wasn't like she would ever see him again. She turned and exited the room. No, she thought to herself as the door slid shut behind her and she headed towards the lift, they wouldn't understand.

[laineystein]

Hi! If you would like to share, I would love to hear your journey of becoming a doctor. I'm currently trying to get into studying medicine, and a few days ago I received the results of the psychometric test (my second time) and my grade isn't high enough (by just a few points!), which means I can't try to get into university again until next academic year (and even if my grade in the psychometric is good it's not guaranteed I will get in). I'm thinking about maybe trying for Italy this year, but it will be pretty last minute, and I might just burn a lot of effort for nothing. It's already 2 years since I finished the army and I feel the clock is ticking. I feel like this year was completely wasted. Besides studying for psychometric I was pretty much depressed and doing nothing with my life, and even at studying I wasn't doing my best. I hear how you say things will get better, but I feel completely hopeless. I can't see the light in the end of the tunnel. I just feel like life is a constant battle.

There’s a lot to unpack here. First, I’m sorry you’re going through this. It’s a horrible feeling and I wish I could make it go away for you because I have been there and I know so many others have too. Life is hard and sometimes it sucks. Sometimes it feels like it always sucks and always will. But I promise you it doesn’t! Or it doesn’t have to.

So growing up I actually wanted to be a dancer and when my parents told an eight year old me that wasn’t a viable career, I pivoted and decided that being a doctor was a decent second option because that was also something I was pretty passionate about. I’m a stubborn bitch so once I decided that’s what I wanted to do, that’s what I did. I was a Biology major in undergrad and did a typical four year degree in a little over two years. I graduated high school a year early so I actually went right from high school into university, then I did my 2+ years in the army, then I went to med school. I decided to go back to the US for med school for very stupid reasons and even though I got into great schools and ended up attending a great school, I was absolutely miserable in med school. I had no friends. It was a terrible time in my life. But!!! It did motivate me to study hard so I could do well and get the hell out of there. Not having friends means I had no social life so I just spent every waking moment being the best damn med student I could be. But yeah I was incredibly depressed and feeling very aimless because even though I was doing well, I was defeated. I kind of realized that I had rushed so many parts of my life and everyone said I was successful but I didn’t feel that way. I actually felt very empty. Success is relative. So just because someone is checking all of life’s boxes doesn’t mean they’re actually doing well. I was a whole ass doctor right before my 30th birthday and I was still miserable. Getting the things you always thought you wanted and things that the world tells you you should want doesn’t mean that life is suddenly perfect. Because bottom line, there is no timeline in life. There are no rules. This has been my journey but it’s not everyone’s journey. It’s clearly not your journey and that’s okay! That just means the universe has other plans for you - don’t be afraid of it! It’s so exciting to see what your future holds! Keep doing your best and things will figure themselves out. There are also so many things you can do in the medical field that isn’t being a doctor (many which are far more rewarding) - maybe the world is trying to show you a different path. But at the end of the day you want to be a doctor, you will find a way to be a doctor. Your age doesn’t matter. I’m in my thirties and I’m about to be a first time mom IYH, meanwhile my best friend is the same age and has 4 kids, the oldest of which is 9! She didn’t have kids early and I’m not having kids late. We’re all doing things when we’re meant to. I promise you that you are blessed even if it doesn’t feel that way! You are surrounded by good things that will lead you to the things you want and deserve, you just need to be patient. Hashem has a plan! You are not in charge here! Trust the process!

And I know that if I was in your shoes I wouldn’t want to hear any of this and I would want concrete answers but as someone who somehow survived it all, I promise you that you just need to keep working hard and remain open to whatever the world has planned for you. Good things are coming! Maybe those good things just aren’t the good things you’ve been waiting for. Or maybe they are and you just need to hold on a little while longer. Let life happen and take care of yourself. You deserve happiness and I hope it finds you soon 💛

[selencgraphy]

— 𝐏𝐋𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐄 𝐃𝐎𝐍'𝐓 𝐋𝐄𝐀𝐕𝐄 𝐌𝐄 𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐈𝐍𝐆 ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

𝐓𝐖𝐎: spinning out, waiting for you (to pull me in)

PAIRING: jake seresin x f!original character

TAGS: cursing, angst, overthinking, self deprecation, abandonment issues (this part is just hurt the entire time i'm sorry)

A/N: hehe heyyy... so it's been over a year since i revamped this series and over a year since i posted the first part. i wanna apologize for such a huge gap! i got so busy in the last year and i wanted to make sure that this series lived up to the expectations i held in my head when i decided to rewrite it. this part is mostly the aftermath of jake's outburst (jessie's reaction and where jake ended up when the night finished). pls bear with me as i can't guarantee when part three will make it to you :( i appreciate you all so so much! i hope you enjoy the read!

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previous part // masterlist // next part

“I don’t get how you’ve been friends with him for so long. He’s a total dickbag,” Yale said, causing her to let out a breathy laugh. “Something funny, Dice?”

Jessie turned to fully face him, saying matter-of-factly, “Yeah. There is.” He scoffed in return, gaining everyone’s attention, including Rooster who was in the far corner cooling off from the exchange. “He treats everyone like shit, acting like he’s better than all of us. He’s not, and sooner or later he’s gonna get one of us killed.”

The pace of her heart began to quicken and her teeth clenched. “Do you guys even listen to the words that fly out of his mouth?” At this point, she turned to speak to everyone waiting for a response that didn’t come. The room was silent, eyes falling down to the floor or looking blankly at her.

“That’s what I thought,” she started. “I’ll admit what he did crossed the line. He does it often. But a lot of the time he points things out how they are, albeit rather rudely. And what do you all do? You tune him out. He ain’t an angel but would it kill ya to get your heads out of your asses? Maybe then y’all would finally grow up and see past a goddamn callsign.” Her feet carried her out of the room, frustrated at the blank expressions of her fellow pilots even after her spiel. She didn't have time to keep yelling at her peers. Jessie knew the outcome of these kinds of outbursts never ended well. She’d always been his shoulder to lean on after all. But for the first time since they met, he ran away from her. In less than ten minutes, she had already turned the place upside down, but he was nowhere to be found. Her phone was gripped tightly in her hand as she called his cell hoping to hear the sound of a casino jackpot. She thought it was stupid when she found out that it was the ringtone he had set for her. “So I know that it’s you callin’, Jess,” he said.

“His car’s gone,” a voice called from the end of the hall as she came out from the last bathroom she could think to check. She didn't have to look to know who it was, the rasp of his voice giving him away. Hanging her head, she took a seat against the closest wall, her eyes clenched as she let out a deep sigh and rubbed her face. Even as the rhythmic footsteps of boots grew louder and louder, she made no effort to acknowledge his presence. Not until he filled the floorspace next to her. “D’you know why he pushes your buttons every chance he gets?” 

Taking his silence as an answer she continued. “It may not look like it, but he admires the shit out of you. Trust me. I was you. Now look at me. And sure, we’ve known each other for a long time but…” She paused, gathering herself and letting her words sink in. 

“How long have you known him?” he asked quietly, his voice bordering between a whisper and his normal voice.

That made her chuckle. Raising her head, she leaned her chin atop her folded knees. “High school. I quite literally ran into him on my first day. Face first into his backpack. He helped me find my homeroom and then sat right behind me in sixth period. Then it turned out he lived right across the street from me. I tried to ignore him—God, did I try—but he somehow managed to weaseled his way into my life. Now I can’t even imagine living without him by my side.” He hummed at her answer. It was hard to imagine them as little teenagers. It was hard to imagine him as a little teenager. Rooster’s only ever known Jake Seresin as Hangman. His rival at Top Gun. An utter pain in his ass the second they met. The image of a younger version of the man he knew today that flashed in his head was bewildering. 

“All of his bullshit? Trust that it comes from a good place. It’s his way of pushing you to be better. Not that you aren't good at what you do already—you wouldn't be here if you weren't—but there’s always room to improve. He shouldn't have brought up your dad. But everything else? He’s brutal but that’s all tough love.  Because at the end of the day his words won't kill you. The mistakes you make up there do.”

She wiped the dust off of her pants as she stood up. “I know there’s a thousand different ways he can go about it but there’s also a shit load more at stake than being named team leader.”

Quick to leave him to think about what she had said, she beelined it to her car. Once the door shut beside her, she leaned her forehead against the wheel. Images of the day flashed in the darkness of her closed eyelids. The constant failures from each of them on the course. Jake’s instigating. Rooster’s outburst. Her intervention. It all happened so fast. 

As she stopped at the stoplight leaving base, her phone rang. Jessie was quick to grab her phone and flip it over to see the caller ID, her face falling at the name. Answering it, she placed it on speaker and set it down on the center console, her hand rejoining the other on the steering wheel. “Sir, I want to apologize for Lieutenant Seresin today. He was out of line and-”

He cut her off. “It’s alright, Rosales. Lieutenant Seresin’s actions aren't what I’m calling you for.”

Oh. “We’re gonna be holding training off-base tomorrow at the Hard Deck.”

“The Hard Deck, sir?”

“Yes, I need you there at 1100 but the rest of the team’s coming at 1200. No uniforms either, come in civvies. Something you can sweat in.”

“Does Admiral Simpson know about this?”

“No. I’ll fill you in when I see you tomorrow. Have a good night, Dice.”

“You too, sir. See you tomorrow.” At the monotonic beeps, she picked up her phone again in one hand, the other still on the wheel. Even if he hadn't been answering, she wasn’t going to stop trying. 

—

He wasn’t sure how long he was sitting there for. All he knew was that the sun was up when he got there and now it was gone, replaced by the white shine of the moon cast along the ocean. Like the setting of the sun, what he knew about his future morphed into a void of uncertainty. But it wasn’t a sudden change. He had felt it happening and chose to ignore it. 

In the twenty-something years he and Jessie have known each other, they've had countless fights and arguments. Not that it was a common occurrence, but they're inevitable even if they're over something so minuscule in hindsight. Today felt different. Maybe he had gone too far. Maybe she’s finally had enough of him. Who was he kidding? He knew this day would come eventually. 

His teammates probably would find it ironic. The famous Hangman being the one left hung out to dry, in his own tears at that. No one else but her knew the actual meaning behind his callsign. She was the one who gave it to him after all. “Don’t worry about them,” she used to say. “You and I know who you are.”

He couldn't get it out of his head. The sharpness of her glare as she stood opposite him. “Why did I do that?” he repeated countless times to himself. Maybe it was just because he could. Or maybe it was envy. His own voice echoed around his skull, overlapping itself and overtaking his senses. 

It’s all your fault.

She hates you now.

You deserve to be alone.

Not good enough.

Fuck-up.

Coward.

That’s what he was. A coward. Too scared to own up to his feelings. Too scared to own up to his actions. As Hangman he felt invincible. Everyone believed their own story, and he played along, hiding behind a reputation he wasn't even sure how he got. The only person to ever see past it was Jessie. In the milliseconds his walls came crumbling down in front of everyone, they caught a glimpse of who he really was. It was fight or flight and in the end, Jake Seresin always chooses flight. 

The sudden seagull squawks pulled him out of his head. The beach was empty now, the footsteps of other people long washed away by the waves that crashed ashore. He still had to go to work the next morning, and he had been out here long enough. Dusting all of the sand off of his clothes that he could, he took one last deep breath as he stared into the open ocean in front of him. Tomorrow’s a new day, Jake. 

Ever since he had taken Amelia home for Penny, he spent a lot of time around the Benjamins. Penny started letting him hang around the house to help her daughter with her homework. Sometimes she'd even invite him over for dinner. In less than a couple days of being back in San Diego, Jake had become an honorary member of the Benjamin family. Sure, he could just go to the Hard Deck to decompress but that was where everyone else went. He didn’t want to torture the squad more than he had to. To his surprise, Penny didn’t hesitate to give him a copy of her house key. Albeit, it was followed by a threat that went along the lines of You so much as break anything or do something stupid in my home or I swear to God. She already knew he wouldn’t do such a thing but it was just funny seeing his face get all white. So when he showed up at her front door that night, his eyes red and puffy, there was no hesitation to let him in. He lost count of how many times he had thanked her as she grabbed some extra linen and pillows and clothes to change into. He didn’t deserve her kindness.

He didn't remember plugging in his phone last night. He didn't even remember asking Penny for a charger to borrow. But there it was, plugged in on the side table of the living room. He only went to look at it to see what time it was but the sight of the dozens of missed calls and unanswered text messages stopped him in his tracks—all of them from Jessie. Text after text. Missed call after missed call. But there was only one voicemail. 

I know you’ve seen my texts and my calls and I know you're ignoring me. 

Despite her being merely a recording, they took a deep breath in unison. Jake’s hand roughly rubbed over his face as she continued to talk.

If you had answered any one of my calls earlier, I probably would have yelled at you. What you said was beyond fucked-up. You had no right to say any of that, Jake. But I know you. I know you need your space right now but don’t shut me out, alright?

Her voice was quiet now, as if she was trying hard for it not to falter. With his eyes shut, he could practically see her trying to maintain her composure. 

Anyways, Mav wants all of y’all at The Hard Deck at 1200 in civvies. Don't dress up though, we’re working out. I think—I don't know, that’s all he told me. Just in case you don't actually listen to this, I texted it to you too amongst the hundreds of the other texts I sent so you better show up. I love you, bub.

When the message ended, he looked at the time stamp. Midnight. Only five hours ago. Jake threw his phone aside and ran his hands over his face, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees. It would’ve been fine if things went right back to normal. Well, not entirely fine, but he liked it when his day had structure. It made everything easier. What had happened yesterday and the apparent change in today’s training agenda just left more room for things to go wrong—for him to mess up again. Just the thought of facing everyone sent his mind into overdrive. 

He hadn’t realized how long he had sat in that same position for. The early morning quiet of the Benjamin house allowed him to get lost in his never ending thoughts. He was sure only a few minutes had passed but the sound of footsteps drew him out of his daze. It was then he realized he had been practically staring a hole into Penny’s carpet for the last two hours. 

“Morning, Jake,” Penny greeted, a hot cup of coffee in her hands. “Hope the couch wasn’t too bad.”

He accepted the cup and hummed as he took a sip. “It was fine, Pen.” He took a breath. “Thank you… for letting me crash here. M’sorry for showing up so late, but I didn’t-”

She took a seat next to him. “No need to apologize, sweetie. I understand.” Jake’s head hung as he stared at and fiddled with the cup in his hands. “D’you wanna talk about it?”

He hesitated. “You don’t have to if you don’t-”

“I brought up Goose,” he interrupted quickly. At his admission, Penny took a deep breath and sighed. Despite losing touch with Maverick for a while, she knew what had happened over thirty years ago. How it affected everyone. How it still affects everyone. “I don’t know why I did it. I know how fucked it is but I just- Fuck.”

“I’m guessing you haven’t apologized yet.”

“How could I? I threw his dad’s death in his face,” he shrugged, placing his coffee cup down before throwing his face in his hands. “He’s probably gonna sock me on the spot—not that I don’t deserve it.” Jake took a breath as he tried to compose himself as his eyes started to water.

“No one’s perfect, Jake. Not Maverick. Not Rooster. Not you. We all make mistakes. Some we regret, some we don’t. You obviously regret this one so make up for it. No more running.”

Before she could say any more, Amelia jogged into the living room. “Mom, what’s for- Oh, hey, Jake.”

“Hey, Ames,” he greeted with a small smile on his face as he wiped his eyes. “Didn’t make anything today, kiddo. Go pour yourself some cereal, okay?” The young girl lingered for a second as she looked at her mother and Jake before turning around and heading for the kitchen. No more running.

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