#I can't drive either bro I'm cooked

[n0-eyed-girl]

Not getting the patience or accomodations you need as an autistic person is awful.. But on the other hand, being talked down to or treated like a child is so humiliating. I don't know which is worse for me. 😭

[emi-chak]

Quickly before I forget and pass out asleep.

I dreamed there was a special fight where you could control Raphael, and ofc he considers himself a snowflake special enough to have a whole ass different UI when you select him. Sensibly the same, mind, but most of the assets were disposed differently (I should probably try to recreate it) and I think there was one additional small window for His Own Fight Log to separate himself from the others because Yes his own voice matters to him and he Wants you the Player to Pay Attention, I remember being so angry while taking screenshots to post them on Twitter, and writing "OFC HE HAS A DIFFERENT UI THIS SLUT"

And the voicelines. Fuck. The voicelines when you select him or touched some of his spells and passives (also the description were explained by himself, stuff like "*I* will do this and that, etc." yknow), they were driving me insane enough to make me go "SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP" almost all of them made me feel like I was either getting sexually harassed or kinkshamed, sometimes both.

And I was so angry, fuck. He Knows this is hype, He Knows he feels powerful to play, He Knows you need him right now even though that was a player choice. But cmon. I fucking would agree to whatever bulshit he wants my character to go through if that means I can have my hands on him (i mean what? No you didnt read that SHUT UP) and I was sitting in front of my screen like "How DARE He. him and his perpetually flaccid dick"

I can't remember all of his lines, but they where very telling of how I feel toward this goddamn character

"Can't get enough, can't you? 😏"

"You touched it. Now you'll  have  to  wait." (BRO)

*insert some of his stupid theatrical bullshit that I can't remember because this was a fucking dream*

"Bloody damn bred." (WHAT THE FUCK WAS MY BRAIN COOKING WITH THIS ONE)

*something about his dick being Not Flaccid*

*some small laughing(???)* (Was my cursor tickling him, or...? Oh no. I'm so fucked. No, fuck, that's cute. NO!!! ID RATHER WANT TO BE MOCKINGLY LAUGHED AT!!!!! AUUGGH!!!)

Anyway.

As I'm writing this, more memories of this particular part of my dream are fading. I guess I couldn't get lucid enough to take the reins of it because it switched to my usual dreams. There was a section where I had to hide under some stairs, a ghost pursuing me, glitching objects I desperately tried to stack in front of me, being told that I needed to do something I can't remember, and so on, can't remember much at this point.

I thought the Raphael part of my dream was so real. I thought I really tweeted those screenshots. I was so sure I was screaming in both my best friend's and boyfriend's dms on discord. Imagine my disappointment right now. Imagine my relief, too, because fuck no I don't want to feel more than simple amusement whenever he appears on screen.

That would be Hells.

[somethingusefulfromflorida]

I'm having a bad day

I've learned that I hate driving in this town. The last time I lived up in Gainesville I didn't have a car so I took the bus or walked everywhere I needed to go and didn't think much of it. Now, I've discovered that everything I loved about driving in the Keys is competlely absent from this town. In the Keys, there are almost no stoplights, just open stretches of highway for miles at a time, so you can maintain a constant speed the whole way. I've been back here for two days and I have yet to drive through a single green light. I have hit nothing but reds; that's not hyperbole, I mean it, even on stretches of road where the light is green 80% of the time, I still seem to hit it during the other 20%. Nothing but stops and starts! And the radio stations suck! Down in the Keys it was mostly classic rock which I could get into, but up here it's nothing but bro country, Taylor Swift, and conservative talk radio. Everything is a one way street up here. Every stoplight says NO U-TURNS or NO TURN ON RED, so if you take one route to get to the store you have to either take a different route home or drive half a mile out of your way to find the next available opportunity to turn 180. There are so many needless curbs between parking lots, so you can't cross directly over, you have to get back onto the main road and find a one-way entrance. I am no longer a student, I had no idea how inconvenient everything is up here. I am completely out of my element. I feel claustrophobic and agorophobic at the same time. I feel like a little kid who has lost sight of his parents, I want to cry. I have an 11 month leasse, I need to be able to support myself, so I'm praying that things improve soon. I need to find a good job so I have something to do besides mope all day.

My roommate is a fucking weirdo. He didn't introduce himself, he didn't give me his name when I introduced myself, and when I went to shake his hand to say hello he grabbed mine with his thumb and index finger and jiggled it. He lives in complete darkness, turning off every single light even to cook. He's been sniffling non-stop for the entire time I've been here, so he's definitely sick but I don't want to ask with what (my mom says covid makes light hurt, but I haven't heard that from anywhere else). He ate some of my food without asking, and the entire kitchen is swarming with roaches. I called the front office when I moved in, but they ignored my calls, they aren't open on Sunday, probably aren't going to be open tomorrow for Labor Day, so it'll be Tuesday before they do anything. I got a can of Raid and sprayed half the kitchen, and one of the cabinets had a dozen roaches in all the pots and pans. I put them in the sink and sprayed the hell out of all the drawers. I asked him how long he's been living here, he told me over a year, then I asked him when was the last time he cleaned, and he said he didn't remember. He had the audacity to say, and I quote, "we [his old roommates] didn't really do that kind of thing." The trash smells horrible, there's no lid so there are roaches pouring out of it too, and he says the pots and pans are not his, that they came with the apartment, so he's not going to be the one to clean them. I have my own dishes which I am keeping in my room because of the roaches, so I'm going to ask the leasing office to either let me move somewhere else, or move him, or do something about the bugs, and if they say the pots and pans are not part of the lease then I'm going to assume they are derelict from a previous tenant and I am going to throw them away.

I just got settled in. I just set uo my big heavy bookcase, I just started unpacking all my odds and ends, it will be a huge hassle if I have tp repack everything and schlep it all down two flights of stairs, stuff it all back in my car and make multiple trips to a new unit, almost certainly up another two flights of steps. My sisters didn't have any of these problems when they lived at this complex. They really enjoyed it, but my experience has been a horror show from the start. I keep all my food in gallon sixed freezer bags, but none of the zips stay zipped, so I don't want to eat anything I know roaches have ahd access to. I don't even want to drink the tap water, I don't know if it's potable. I'm scared and tired and I feel nauseous just being here. I've gone through almost an entire 24 pack of bottles in 2 days...

There are a ton of sidewalks in this complex, but whenever I go out, people will cross to the other side of the road to avoid me. I feel like a hideous fucking beast, I can't even go out in public without being shunned by strangers. I don't belong here. I didn't belong down in the Keys either. Down there was at least familiar, I felt safe, but up here I'm spiraling out of control. I have no support network. My sisters aren't helping because the older one is a histrionic narcissist and the younger two are drunken tiktok zoomers who I have absolutely nothing in common with.

And to top it all off, I bumped into an ex today. I haven't seen her since 2017, haven't spoken to her since 2018, but the second day I'm back up here we just so happen to cross paths. She didn't even say anything to me, I was just eating at a table, and I looked up and she was staring at me, and I didn;t even have time to register who she was before she left. She looks different. Older. Mature. She's married, I heard that through the grapevine a year or two agfter we stopped talking, but I think she might be a mom now. She's a brunette, but she always dyed her hair bright red when we dated, and now she apparently dyes it black. She is a proper funtioning adult, and I'm floundering like a child, compeltely listless and alone. What are the fucking odds we see each other? She was the first person I was really in love with, but she never loved me back, I was just a guy she dated for a few months because she didn't want to be single. I'm in a worse position than I was back when we dated in college. I know for a fact she's not thinking of me right now, she probably just thought "huh, haven't seen him in a while," and then moved on. Didn't say hello, didn't smile or scowl, no emotion at all, just a blank stare of recognition and she was gone. I'm a nobody to her. I got over her shortly after I learned she got married, but now she's living rent free in my head. I hate being recognized. I hate having my reputation precede me.

I am not doing well...

[icharchivist]

If the Lowain bros' fights are just them having elaborate fantasies, Avatar Belial's opening about being so lonely and craving togetherness with them is either wildly in character and they really nailed his wily ways or they are actually bi or bi curious and aren't immune to his charms and this is wishful thinking in disguise

Here's how "Lowain and Elsam are bi" can still win

Tomoi had a thing for Bubs, he's confirmed

oh yeah this intro drives me bonkers, i feel like there's a bit of both - understanding the type of person Belial is, but also Lowain and co really pushing the fantasy to a whole new level, wanting to be Belial's friends.

I think they have a "we can fix him" complex due to this line, it drives me insane.

But also, yes, i think they probably also have a slight crush (if i remember well they legit said it got their heart flustered or something, like, a romantic reaction)

Tomoi has a thing for Bubs so we don't have to hyperanalyse him, but, personally i've been a truther in thinking Lowain at least is bi because of his reaction to Poseidon in general (calling him Gentlehunk and saying that the way Poseidon act it's only normal everyone (including them) fall for him). And in the Doraemon collab when Reinhardtsar is cooking the Lowain bros end up looking at him with a shojo filter mentioning how he's so sexy and romantic like this.

and it's not to mention their general behavior with Ywgnie could be interpreted as "worshipping in a way that is not exactly straight anymore"

i think Lowain and Elsam are at least a little bi-curious personally.

And Lowain x Poseidon is actually a ship i'm super rooting for even if nothing much happened since they met, because i think Poseidon, out of all people, having a soft spot for Lowain, is so damn funny. Mister "i hate all of humanity equally. Except for this one idiot. I'm holding him in my arms. And this lesbian whom i respect."

but i can't like massively argument for it (except by telling people to read Auguste of the Dead). so there's that.

Elsam is the only one who's more steady in general but it's because he's dedicatd to Yggy so like.....

[lovebandit42069]

Heehee did the fun little ship meme for my main self ship

Had to edit the original since it was for ships that only involve two people (and also to change the bug killing one to bug releasing) and included a transparent version of the edited base for those that may want it!

Ignore the awful grey outline that he preview has, the actual full resolution template doesn't have it idk what tumblr's doing

I'm gonna include a little explanation for everything under a read more for anyone that might be interested! (It's incredibly long so no worries if it's too much for y'all to want to read lmao)

Please do not interact with this post/my blog if you: - Are a minor - Are a proshipper - Self ship romantically with Shou, Hizashi and Nem

General

Genders: I haven't really thought too hard about my headcanon genders for Shou, Hizashi and Nem so I just went with the canon for them. Crash is Canonically Agender.

Sexualities: I'm bisexual so I like to headcanon all of my favs as bi too 🥰

Heights: Pretty straight-forward I think, I like to make most of my S/I's the same height as me and Crash was no exception (why is everyone taller than me fuck my LIFE !!!!!!!!)

Ages: Same as heights, used everyone's up to date canon ages

Sliding Scale Section

Big Spoon - Little Spoon: I feel like Shou and me would share the same sentiment of not really minding either way/switching between the two while Nem is similar but leans more towards being the little spoon and Hizashi is Very Much the little spoon because he's the tallest of the group and I think that'd be funny/cute Lends Clothes - Borrows Clothes: I don't think any of us would necessarily borrow clothes from each other (also Crash is fat and short so I don't think its clothes would fit anyone LMAO) so I just kept everyone in the middle for this one Doesn't Use Pet Names - Uses Pet Names: Uses Pet Names: Bro you KNOW Nem and Hizashi fucking love pet names!! Crash likes pet names but feels like they sound super awkward when it says them but it'll still try. I don't think Shou would never use pet names but is probably a bit more conservative with using them himself. Introverted - Extroverted: Pretty self explanatory if you know the characters, me and Shou being very much introverted while Nem and Hizashi are on the other end of the spectrum being very much extroverted Affection Through Words - Affection Through Actions: Shou and Hizashi have both exhibited actions that lead me to believe they'd canonically show affection with both words and actions. Nem I imagine would be the same way just because I'm being self indulgent lmao. I'm the same way IRL so Crash gets to be too <;3 Confesses First - Waits For Confession: While all four were pining for each other Crash, Hizashi and Shou were the ones that were completely obvlious of everyone else's pining leaving Nem to be the one to finally initiate the relationship (sorry nem lmao) Screams About The Bugs - Releases Bug Outside: Hizashi is canonically entomophobic (afraid of bugs) meanwhile I imagine Shou, Crash and Nem wouldn't be as much. Drives The Car - Can't Drive: We've seen Hizashi drive in canon and while we've seen Shou in cars multiple times he's never once driving (I don't think??) so I like to imagine he doesn't know how/feels like it's not terribly important due to having a good amount of mobility on his own. Crash likes to walk to places it can but learned how to drive for the times when it's gotta go somewhere that isn't walkable/if it's not feeling the idea of walking. Nemuri strikes me as someone that would rather drive than walk somewhere and learned to drive to necessitate that. Can't Cook For Shit - Makes Dinner: We see Shou eating protein jelly packs more than anything else and while that's not indicative of him not being able to cook (he's just being ~rational~) I feel like he's someone that has the barest ability to cook. Crash is the same way fuck cooking lmao. Nem and Hizashi both seem like they'd know how to cook and would be willing to be the one(s) to cook for the group to me personally Dislikes PDA - Loves PDA: Similar to pet names I feel like Hizashi and Nem would absolutely love PDA and Crash would as well but feel a bit awkward about it so it'd struggle a bit to initiate it itself. Shou I feel like wouldn't completely hate it but would definitely not be the one to initiate it first typically. Overprotective - Chill Going: With the nature of the canon universe and just taking everyone's personalities into consideration I feel like we'd all be a bit protective of each other in various ways Has More Relationship Experience - Has NO Relationship Experience: This is heavily headcanon-based but I personally imagine Shou and Hizashi as not really having relationship experience due to mutually pining for each other (and Crash and Nem) and am including Crash in that same boat. Nem for sure strikes me as someone who has a lot of relationship experience though, personally

Levels

Horny Level: Nemuri is self explanatory I feel like LMAO. Crash and Shou I feel would be a little bit lower on the scale and Hizashi just a teensy bit higher. He gives off horny energy I don't know how to explain it

Awkardness Level: Crash and Shou are slightly different types of awkward but still awkward nonetheless (Crash being a bit moreso, feels bad) and Hizashi and Nemuri have never felt awkwardness in their entire lives in my opinion

Jealousy Level: I put everyone at the same halfway level because I can imagine a bit of jealousy happening here and there but I don't really think it'd be present terribly often tbh

Blessing your family and crops if you actually read all this lmao

[overly-verbose]

(Thank you for reminding me about this one with that reblog, @serpent-hell !!)

This is absolutely beautiful lmfao, I'm kinda late to do it but thank you so much for the cackles and art, @charlotte-queen-owl !! 😂😂😂😂😂

They absolutely Would recreate a freaking meme in real life together lmfao, those two spooky gremlins 😂😂🤣😂🤣🤣😂🤣

I appreciate the sunglasses (absolutely accurate, they both definitely would And my SIkuna/Syuuya is probably gonna actually wear them sometimes in the Main Series Canon when out and about to freak people out less lol (I mean I dunno if it'd work but A+ for effort and style!))

and the Fabulous Claws✨💅 they're very important to his image ofc,

can't be slacking on style when competing with Satoru for most stylish Older Familial Figure after all (not that SIkuna would be 100% aware that they're even competing tho lmfao)

Also the fact that apparently Serpent's SIkuna/Kain doesn't have a license or anything but is behind the wheel, all the while Syuuya is actually a very responsible driver most of the time (and would definitely get a driving license if possible, just in case), is SenDING ME- 🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂

Like, I can definitely imagine that conversation being basically "I wanna drive."

*not necessarily sceptical, but curious* "Can you drive?"

"I can improvise."

"..."

*remembers that he's talking to mr. Kids' Safety Above All (maybe even more than himself?), Moral Obligations and The Law included* "We're not taking the kids with us, you know. It's not like a car crash would even do anything to either of us."

*nods, because yeah* "...I suppose you're right. I'll do my best not to backseat-driver you 👍"

*jumps behind the wheel* "Nice! Aand we're going to Burger King"

*sits down on the other seat* "Hmm, that's a nice idea. And, well, humourous as well."

*both snicker because hehe 'king'*

[A while later]

*stares at the KFC sign* "...This is not a Burger King."

"Yyup. It sure isn't."

(they got kinda lost lol (but went along with it for the hehes))

(and yeah, Syuuya does know how to cook lol

- although he did have to regain the muscle memory for it because mr. Death and Calamity and Uraume You're The Cook Not Me didn't exactly get involved in that too much before getting merged with the Before Person lmfao)

Poor SI!Mahito indeed lol, I have a feeling that he didn't expect to either deal with such incomprehensive freaking orders or with a DOUBLED meeting with freaking- Sukuna of all people???????

Bro's sweating and I don't blame him 😂

(like, how exactly do you inform these customers that uhhh they may be at the wrong place!????

-That is if they don't already know and are just fucking around for the hehes which- I mean, would be in-character tbf 😂?)

Anyway, thank you verily for the art, very cool very funny yes 👏👏👏👏👏👏 :DDDD

Burger king 👑.

[simplyasimpformen]

Sapnap(x reader) HC's that I think about randomly before I go to bed.

Bro definitely has a shit tonne of hoodies packed in his closet that he'd let you wear.

He prolly also only let's you wear them because he thinks you look adorable in 'em<3

He'll let you play with his hair/beard.

If you have any pets he'd probably only visit your place to see them.

If you have a cat he'd definitely be all tough and say that he hates the cat, but then you'll find him sleeping on the couch with the cat cuddling against his side.

Sapnap looks like a dog person not gonna lie, like I can imagine if you have a dog that he'd baby it and play with it and talk to it in that dumb ahh voice people make when talking to animals, doesn't matter how big or small the dog is, though I also feel like Sapnap would be terrified of Chihuahua's.

If you have a bird I feel like Sapnap would just sit and stare at it. Like I feel like he'd low-key wanna pet it and have it sit on his shoulder like a pirate but he's too scared to touch it, afraid that the bird'll bite him.

If you have fish he'd definitely be that type to tap on the glass no matter how many times you tell him not to.

If you have any type of reptilian pets(snakes, lizards etc.) he'd probably be absolutely terrified of it or he'd wanna have it slither/run up his arm(though I'm leaning more towards the scared part)

He's not the best cook I'm guessing(idk) so if you don't know how to cook either, you guys probably go out to eat a lot.

If you can cook though and is fairly good in it I feel as though he'd have you cook every night, seeing as he'd most definitely love your cooking.

Bro is the type to pick you up late at night with his Tesla and drive to random places(bro would definitely pull up at a 7/11 with his Tesla at like 3am and buy energy drinks and shit, change my mind)

Dates with Sap would mostly be fancy ahh restaurants, but there is the rare occasion that you guy would spend the whole day cooped up in home watching movies and eating random junk food.

Sapnap would definitely flirt with you every moment he gets.

You and Qauckity would tease Sao whenever y'all can, which usually ends up with you having to apologize to Sap.

If you don't like showing your face on cam, Sapnap would let you sit out of the cameras view while he streams.

If you don't mind being seen he'd have a extra chair set up beside his just for you.

You guys would go on cute lil Minecraft dates that almost always end up in him/or you burning something down.

Like- he'd have his friends help him set up a cute little date for you two and then as the date goes on it all just falls apart, but you still enjoy them nonetheless.

The first time you and Sapnap went on a date he definitely asked Dream what to say and how to act beforehand.

Your first date would probably be at the zoo or something, and he'd tell you random facts about the animals.

I have more but I can't think of any of them right now.

[madirablack]

Turn the Kesha to 100 baby it's time for

JAYROY HEADCANONS

Singing full blast in the car like teenagers

"Dude, that's kinda gay can't lie"

Driving for hours on end when they can't sleep, or to have deep talks.

Roy has a truck he has in a random parking garage in Gotham, its red and has all sorts of random shit on the inside.

Jason has a beaten up old black muscle car that lives behind a 7-eleven in the middle of assfuck nowhere about 10 minutes out of star city.

Banned from 3 McDonald's as arsenal and red hood, for : chasing a mob boss through to the kitchen and in turn setting 2 small fires and breaking 3 ordering screens, dumping a scalding coffee down a creep's shirt for harassing underage girls, and trying to start the official #FUCKWAYNEENTERPRISES movement and setting up a shitty store inside with badly made buttons and bags

"Yeah can I get a [insert stupidly extra and long specialised iced coffee order]."

[Insert gallavich gif "You're under my skin man the fuck can I do?"]

They can both cook, but Jason's is better, in part due to being taught by Alfred

Neither of them actually make a point of going to bed to sleep at night, because sleep is a sensitive and difficult thing for them both

Roy can speak a surprising amount of Vietnamese, learned it to make sure Lian was still connected to her culture even when her mom wasn't around.

Know each other like the back of their hands, to a point that frustrates both of them.

If going to an event with Roy, Jason won't drink, and will probably avoid contact with those that have been.

Mama by MCR

Make an effort to have designated movie nights to just chill the fuck out, they watch like 3 movies each time and they're on Friday nights, each time a theme is picked by either one and they go for a random number on the streaming services category, usually the minutes past on the time. No matter how crap the movie is, they watch the whole thing. It's led to tons of inside jokes.

The main thing they argue about is drugs, and about ptsd, mainly triggering each other by accident.

Roy snores

Jason sleeptalks

Bruce fucking hates it when they turn up to galas or parties or stay extended amounts at the manor, because just when he expects them to be on their worst behaviour, they're perfectly polite, well mannered.

GOODBYE MY DANISH SWEETHEART - MITSKI

Jason only really cries when he's incredibly angry or when he has flashbacks. He drops from a angry sentient brick wall to that same tiny malnourished kid that died far too young, his hands up over his face, begging to not be hurt.

Roy cries very rarely, but when he does, it's infectious.

Tried impromptu Archery Lessons in one of the numerous weapons warehouses, resulted in an awkward trip to the ER

"I'm so fucking tired of this shit" "I know."

"Man, dude, bro, homie, my guy," only ever use romantic nicknames to annoy each other

Matching specific brand and type of Bluetooth earbuds, Jason has black and Roy has red

TATTOOS SMALL MATCHING TATTOOS

Small family run Mexican restaurant in the middle of Gotham is their fave, when it got robbed and bricked, they did a manhunt for 4 days straight to find the guys that did it.

Dumbass shit in summertime like jumping off of cliffs into the sea etc

Heaven's gate - fall out boy

Competitions as to who can annoy designated rich jla father more

Bro hugs all the time but the longer, genuine ones are few, but special.

Always make sure the other one eats in the morning, unspoken thing started by Jason, "if you wake up first, you make breakfast for us both, other guy cleans up"

Both have an absurd thing that makes them laugh hysterically for almost an hour every time without fail, (the intro to gangnam style and a video of 6ix9ine going "I let my nuts hang")

Play Apex together if they're apart (Jason Mains Maggie and Roy mains Mirage and is an actual bamboozle god)

Dancing in the kitchen to old 50s/60s stuff like an old married couple

[usertoxicyaoi]

Ok so as a follow up to that: vegaspete returning from the hospital with Macau, but they can never quite get alone time cause Macau is always there somewhere so they're just driving each other insane with little touches, and then one day Macau leaves for school or a sleepover and they just, pounce the moment the door closes -

hiiii anon!!!!

CHDBSIF OK LISTEN UP. I LOVE THIS.

bc i can picture this so SO vividly.

like. i think the 1st night when they get back from the hospital, vegas Has Already Made His Intentions loud and clear to macau by simply just sending him The Daggers. and macau, for as much of a menace as he is, he Loves his hia, and he gets it. he gives them their privacy and stays over at a friend's for the rest of that evening and late into the afternoon the next day, when he texts vegas asking

"so are you done get dicked down or what?"

and vegas just replies "language, baby bro."

and macau's like ":))))))))) hiaaaaa. can i come home now????? :)))))))))))"

and vegas is like "sure. get us some food though on the way back. we, you know, didn't get time to cook."

and macau's like "FHFHDIGOF FINE."

and vegas is like "good. pete says thank you. i love you! <3"

and macau's like "mmm. i love you too. and i'm so happy for you both <3".

bc macau does. and macau is. bc he does love them both, and he is happy for them both.

and so they're trying to settle down, all 3 of them, in their new normal. and its really nice. they do .... Family Things. they laugh and love. its not always easy. sometimes macau comes home from school and he can clearly tell vegas and pete have had an arguement, the tension's just that palpable. and macau has to just roll his eyes bc ofc he is gonna fix this. so he turns his Drama on and acts like he's had a shit day at school and something's upset him and he won't speak to vegas about it first. he just goes past him without even saying hi to him, something macau Never does, which IMMEDIATELY puts vegas on high alert that something Isnt Right and he's following macau. and all macau has to do now as he drags himself up the stairs, knowing vegas is following him, is to go and find pete and just crash into him and hug him. and pete immediately drops whatever he was doing and holds macau in his embrace, stroking his back, whispering as he asks him what's wrong?

and so macau manages to convince both vegas and pete to gather in the same room, and they put their differences aside, for macau's sake. they sit either side of him and hug him, and as theyre sat watching a movie, eating popcorn, and he sees vegas and pete's fingers brush against one another and still, and he sees them both from the corners of his eyes look at one another, and he sees pete take hold of vegas' hand and shuffle closer so that all 3 are hugging each other even tighter, macau can't quite believe just how lucky he is.

yes, his ways arent right. yes, its manipulation. yes. but he doesnt care. this family means more to him than anything else ever did.

and so there's days like that.

and then there's days macau comes home from school, and he's mortified as he sees pete's neck, who's busy in the kitchen, used and abused and littered with scatters of blues and reds and purples bc. oh my god. and vegas just comes down the stairs freshly showered, hair wet, and smirks as he greets macau into a side hug, asking, "how was your day, bro?" 

"uh. good. yours?"

"oh. it was grand." and vegas is literally eyeing pete up as he says that.

honestly, macau thinks. what the fuck are these 2 like.

and he doesnt wanna know the answer to that. he doesnt need to know that vegas and pete had literally just finished fucking each other 30 minutes before macau stepped through the door, and that too, on pete's insistence when he literally had to shove vegas to go and shower bc "macau's gonna be home any minute now, vegas! come on!!!".

so it comes as a relief to ALL THREE of them, when macau comes home from school one day, and places a letter down at the table in front of vegas and pete, thats asking for consent from a parent/legal guardian for a residential trip that macau's class are going on, for a total of 4 days and 5 nights. the trip is in 6 days, and macau needs to return the consent form tomorrow.

and vegas just exclaims "YES!". and pete and macau just Look at him, thinking what is up with HIM? and so vegas has to cover that with how, oh macau you should go! its been a while right since you went? it'll be a really good learning experience. you'll get to spend time with people who arent me and your p'pete! it'll do you good, some days away. and pete just has to Look Away, anywhere but at vegas bc oh my god, he cant believe him, and he can feel himself getting warmer and redder bc he knows Exactly what vegas is implying.

and then its silent, and macau's gaze flickers from vegas to pete to vegas to pete to vegas to pete. and how pete is Squirming at this point and vegas is just shamelessly cocking an eyebrow.

and macau just twists his face in disgust.

"yall both are freaks. just sign it, oh my god, hia."

and vegas cant reach for a pen fast enough.

and so in the days leading up, pete helps macau pack bc pete, you know, Actually Cares. unlike vegas who's just counting down the days and keeps on asking how if macau's looking forward to it?

and all macau bites back with is how "hia, you're more excited than me. tell me, who exactly is the one going on a trip here?"

and each night, vegas just keeps reminding pete whilst they're in bed of what's to come. how vegas is going to take and take and take and then give and give and give and not hold back. how every surface of their home is going to bear witness to it. how much he's been looking forward to having pete all by himself for a few days and nights on end like this.

"just you and me, pete. just you and me. and i dont want you shy. and i dont want you holding back. i want you to let go, pete. i want you to lose it. show me all of you."

and pete can't help but feel it too. those words, and what they mean. god, its been so long, so so long. and pete's starving for it. and pete wants it just as bad. just as dirty and hard and tainted and filthy and lewd and impure and unholy.

and so when, the next evening, macau has gone and the door has barely just shut itself, vegas is on to pete, his mouth on pete's mouth and his tongue tasting pete's and pete tastes like peaches because of the sweet macau gave to him that he found spare in his pocket just before he left and vegas' hands are grasping at pete everywhere, until he's winding pete's legs around his waist and slamming him against door. until pete has to grab a fistful of vegas' hair and yank his head back because he cant breathe.

their intensity still manages to shake the steady ground pete walks on, every single time. it still gets vegas feeling so carnal, that his lips part open, saliva coating them, ready to take pete. it never gets old. it never runs out. they'll never tire.

and they've got 4 days and 5 nights. and not a single second to waste.

so, everything else? be damned.

[thepermanentscowl]

i can, actually. he makes sense because otherwise you wouldn't have so many people liking you. bro EXACTLY. there are hardly any books for grown ups or young adults that aren't about the same thing. always, there's a protagonist couple who get together first and then fight once or twice and get back together and the side characters are either made for their comfort or are gay for the plot. either this or mythological retellings (which are better but still. everyone is doing it. there needs to be a limit.) no wonder we don't have many books like To Kill a Mockingbird (i love this book so fucking much i swear) or 1984 or Dorian Grey or Bose or- you get me. i'm going to die if in the future the adult-version-of-wattpad books are liked better than the classics. (and btw i read the white tiger. now THAT is a book. that is what books need to be like. controversial yes, but worth it.) uhh maybe i like the pyschoticness because i haven't actually read it. i was told she killed her kids? she drowned one of them? i can't remember properly. but i like exploring psycho characters. how they become their level of unstable. their unreasonably ruthless actions. there's a movie, Orphan. it's thriller, about a girl with, uhm, a weird personality. then there's Joker. and the Saw series. okay Saw is more gory. verity is that bad huh? i'm going to ask that friend to lend it to me. 

i said your bare minimum, not the general bare minimum. big difference between those two things. you know what's confusing over here? the cause and the effect. you say: "guys believe they are meant to be like this. and that's what makes girls believe they truly are like this." and so they make do with their available options. i agree. but then "girls are so into 'gentleman-ly' boys now because they've realised it's bullshit to be into someone who does not have basic respect for them. but the number of "gentleman-ly" guys at present is so painfully slim they will fall head over heels for someone who won't make ur mom jokes."- maybe the number of "gentleman-ly" guys is slim because of the girls. i know girls who date "masculine" guys because of the aesthetic. having a boy who goes gymming and can pick you up easily, who drives you, who is a little possessive, who takes you on dates and never the other way round. i know girls who do it for fame. some do it because of fomo. some do it to look cool. some do it for posting stories on insta where they can show off gifts they receive and post pictures of two people holding hands. what i'm trying to say is, it's like the girls have certain criterias which are very specific. you don't fulfill them, you can't date her. quoting you again here: "a girl would rather date a gym dude with a trash personality than a friendly guy with a bollywood obsession." if a guy wants to date a girl, he has to be like what the girl wants. i don't know why girls want specifically this, maybe because of society. you know the stereotype: guys can't be feminine and girls shouldn't be masculine. last week, they made it compulsory for us to have long hair in school. you can't have boycut hair. those who had it have been asked not to cut it anymore. and in our brother school, you can't have long hair. now the opposite of this also holds true. girls are more inclined towards dating masculine guys because that's how they build themselves. boys thinking that they have to "be a man," that they have to crack sexist and homophobic jokes, have to make a body, have to be tough enough to fight and always enjoy adult stuff (some people believe a guy cannot be raped. he's always going to enjoy it right?) guys think they don't have to cook, guys think they cannot use makeup, guys don't show their feelings. if a guy tries to be soft, he's made fun of, he's ragged. why do they do all this? where did it start? why haven't they stopped? because society has not stopped being like this? because it's what girls want? is it that the girls want what they want because that's all there is, or do the guys become like they are because that is what is expected of them? 

i would know it because i’d be able to understand his thoughts as they would be very obviously plastered on his face in the form of his expressions. he’s thinking, “damn this boy is a cutie and a hottie.” and then he’ll probably be checking you out. you wouldn’t know because you would be busy staring into his soul. besides, i am all-knowing. 

this is really random but i find air hostesses very intimidating.

why?? aren't they just pretty ladies helping us around?

[rinslove]

HQ BOYS AND THEIR [BAD] HABITS

featuring: miya atsumu, kozume kenma, tsukishima kei, kageyama tobio, oikawa tooru, asahi azumane, tanaka ryuunosuke, yamaguchi tadashi, tendou satori, bokuto koutaro, kuroo tetsurou, terushima yuuji, ushijima wakatoshi, sakusa kiyoomi, hinata shoyo, sawamura daichi

warnings: strong language in tsukishima’s part

autumn’s note: i started thinking about how kageyama drank straight up milk and…voila, i guess

ATSUMU swears he's going to stop bleaching his hair to let it breathe a little but then he has a minor inconvenience and he's either entering a barbershop or doing it himself

KENMA sleeps all day and is awake all night. i can't really judge him because i've started up again too but this guy just doesn't stop. he can't fix it for the life of him

TSUKISHIMA used to snap his fingers to get the attention of baristas until one time he did it to coach ukai in his shop. ukai turned around so fast and looked like he was ready to kill a bitch. that was the last time he did it

KAGEYAMA drinks plain old milk, never water, and enjoys it. how?? (if you do this it's okay i forgive you just like i forgive kageyama, but genuinely HOW CAN YOU DRINK STRAIGHT UP MILK)

OIKAWA has occasional mood swings that don't happen that often but when he does they're like.. pretty bad. doesn’t always apologise at first either

ASAHI he won't say anything if he's waiting for food and someone takes his order. he'll just stand and wait for their order and take that instead even if he doesn't like it

TANAKA automatically accuses everyone of taking whatever he’s lost if he can't find it until he realises it was in his pocket the whole time. doesn't apologise, just goes oh and carries on with whatever he was doing before

YAMAGUCHI cannot order for himself in public. he never goes out for food alone and has whoever he's with order for him. additionally, if in a supermarket and can't find anything, he'll just suffer and not buy it, even if it's super important

TENDOU can't take anything seriously and constantly got in trouble with the team for it. he started to every now and again, but sometimes he still makes jokes at the most inappropriate times

BOKUTO bites his nails religiously. this mf just won't stop i'm sorry. he's tried, but he started when he was a kid and it's not leaving his system any time soon. sakusa hates him for it

KUROO somehow relates everything to a fact he heard. you're reading a book? the author has the same name as some lesser-known scientist. you're wanting to order in for dinner instead of cooking? fun fact! ordering in might be worse than cooking for some reason!

TERUSHIMA constantly clicks his tongue piercing against his teeth and everyone wants to strangle him for it. if you're in an empty hallway and you hear a distant clicking, it's probably terushima.

USHIJIMA does not get sarcasm. tendou explained it to him, but he still doesn't. he's tried to use it, but he stayed so serious everyone thought he was being serious

SAKUSA is a slow driver. he always stays below the limit, and it's just so slow? like, everyone is going at like 60mph and he's strolling along at 40. bro please just step on the gas a little bit 😭 (edit: as of october 22 and rewatching season 4 of haikyuu again, he will drive super fast if he’s annoyed at anyone or anything; like, everything goes out of the window and you basically gotta buckle up because if someone looks at him wrong, he’s gonna shoot up to like 100mph and everyone is gonna get whiplash)

HINATA will always use emojis in his messages and it's so confusing at times (what the heck does ‘🪑🪑’ mean???)

DAICHI uses emojis for their given purpose, not what everyone actually has a mutual understanding of what they mean and always accidentally worries his friends when he uses "😀". bonus points if it's alongside a straightforward message, which it normally is

[hisredhysteria]

Hiii!! I'm am literally head over heels for your account bro; Akudama drive is so good literally a masterpiece 1928192/10 anwyays gonna shut the fuck up and actually get to the point But can you write sfw or nsfw hcs for Courier!? So down bad for him rn, take your time if you do!! :) -ur sexiest fan alive🙏💯

Omg so bold, I like it— I'm kinda down bad for him too rn...sorry for cheating on you Cutthroat, but I accidentally think Courier became my favorite so I love getting requests for him— and Cutthroat too still ofc- (he's still my favorite to write for-!) I'll do both! Sorry for the tangent!

Courier Headcanons!

—SFW—

If he's comfortable with you, he may just tease you by blowing a puff of smoke in your face to make you cough a bit

That being said, he will not do it often and he will not do it when the situation is genuinely serious because he takes your tone of voice and body language into consideration

Breaking his habit of smoking inside so you don't come down with a second-hand infection is seemingly difficult for him and he finds it a tad bit frustrating

He'll at the very least try for you though

Despite being decently skilled with pointing and aiming a gun, he absolutely sucks at shooting games or video games in general

Or...maybe he's just letting you win. It's a mystery because he'll never tell you the truth when you ask him if he's letting you win

Courier side eyes strangers who talk to you, sizing them up in silence to check their motives. Particularly men. Even more so men who look like trouble.

He'd like to teach you the basics of using a gun, this way you can protect yourself if need be. He may encourage you to have one on your person as well when he's not accompanying you places

...he sleeps with a gun under his pillow.

He's accidentally pointed his gun at you, believing you to be an intruder once or twice when you came through the door of his bedroom

He's a little shaken, but you'll notice his eyes become soft when he recognizes your face

He'd rather have his teeth pulled out one by one then go clothes shopping, but he oddly likes grocery shopping.

He cooks, so he'll let you pick things out and he'll see what he can make with it, even when he's not particularly thrilled about the ingredients himself

He tells you that your music taste is garbage, then you hear him listening to one of the songs you liked anyways...

"Tsk...everything else playing was shit so don't give me that look.."

He's got a cabinet of medicines, specifically painkillers

In fact, he's a little prone to headaches...he says they're because of you but you know they're not, right?

—NSFW—

While you two bake or cook together, he'll place a hand on your lower back and see how far down he can get before you acknowledge him

When you do, he's got a calm look on his face as his eyes move towards yours ..... "what?"

He purposely takes towels out of the bathroom while you shower so he has a reason to come in and see you nude...this way it's less direct as well

He calls you absent-minded for "forgetting" to restock them yourself before you got in the shower

He may not do that often though, just once in a while when he's looking for a reason to initiate something more—

He'll appreciate attempts, but he's not big on lingerie...at all—

You're gonna be taking your clothes off anyways why go through more hassle

No gunplay....no.

He's worried about what you'll think when you see him naked the first few times, mostly because of his prosthetic arm

He will not let you know that outright, but if you're any wiser, you may pick up on it

He doesn't usually take it off during sex either, he'd really prefer not to so that he can get a better range of motion. Although, he is very aware of where he's touching and how cold it might feel to you depending on the temperature of the room

He'll tie just one of your wrists to the bedframe and then your other wrist will be binded to his while he interlocks fingers with you in missionary. This way you can't move from him.

If you get a period, he knows your cycle and when it'll start or when to expect you to become hornier than usual

Here, as a treat I'll tell you what other 2 kinks I originally had written on his alphabet list— breeding and electrostimulation...no I will not be explaining—

[harryforvogue]

if you could date any of your harrys, which one would it be and why?

i think it would be either fleur's harry or serena's harry or lucía's harry or safiyya's harry or aaliyah's harry

let me explain why i'd NEVER date the others

mia's harry: i do not have the patience for this man. also, i don't like being told what to do. i'll drop kick him. if he tells me to make him tea, i'm breaking up with him

faye's harry: listen i love him and i think he'd be super helpful, but i do also need my space homie.

annaliese's harry: bro no

yasmine's harry: would get on my nerves so quickly and is 100% an aquarius so. no.

miriam's harry: too clingy i can't handle it king leave me alone PLEASE

reasons why i'd date the ones i would

safiyya's harry: i want a writer boyfriend SO BADDDDD. write poetry about me king and lets go on picnics

fleur's harry: one of my biggest crushes growing up was sokka from atla...... i want banter. i wanna be teased. i wanna be killed for also.

serena's harry: therapist so he knows his boundaries. will cook for me. wears suits............. also is a demonslayer so he's SO hot

lucía's harry: i, too, have OCD and i, too, love to sleep. he'll listen to me talk about my day with a stupid smile on his face and kiss my face so much. will also drive me around. knows my coffee order. brings me lunch during my lunch break because he knows i wasn't able to make any before leaving for work

aaliyah's harry: GAWWWWWWWWWD let me have this man. just for one night. i want his attention on me. i want to distract him, make him want me and only me, single track mind and all. i want to be comfortable with him, i wanna hold his hand, i want this man in a suit, i wanna very tantalizingly remove his cravat...... don't talk to me

[k1nky-fool]

Basic moment, I'm here for Switchblades (idc if it's July and Pride Month is over, these two are milfs who should be loved), Pepper/Silco, and Devo/Viktor

Ahm/Mae/Kugo for serious because they are very hot

23 but its a full bed and not a king, 25, 15, 18, 16

Pep/Sil

25, 3, 22, 24, 21, 16

Dev/Vik

25, 20, 48, 18, 16

(PS: For Switchblades you don't have to do Ahmya's cause its not your OC, if you want to just to Maeko and Kugo you can and I'll think of it myself)

Maeko, Ahmya, Kugo

I haven't actually decided if I'll place Ahmya in What's Left Unsaid just yet. I likely won't have enough space to add a whole extra love story, but I would love to make her canon in my story, even if just briefly.

23. Your OCs are on a trip and there’s only one bed! What do they do?

Bro, these bitches stack. Kugo's got big enough tiddies to have a pillow for both of his wives. But when they wake up in the morning, Kugo has somehow been pushed to the opposite side of the bed, and Ahmya is wrapped around Maeko like a koala.

It's safe to say that they're not wasting any time arguing about this one.

25. Pick a physical attribute that they love about each other.

I think it's safe to say that Maeko's type is spots. Not that she has a specific habit of dating exclusively people with black and white spots, but somehow not one, but BOTH of the spouses she settles down with have some spots. But yea, she adores the patterns on both Kugo and Ahmya's skin.

Ahmya is a little more subtle when it comes to Maeko. She likes to play around with Maeko's quirk, because she likes to see her wife's eyes change colors. She finds it so cool, to the point where she'll tease Maeko into activating it, only to have her eyes turn purple. For Kugo, she's unapologetically obsessed with his hands. Big ass hands and he's not even vaguely bad with his fingers? That's just a weakness for her.

Kugo would never outright say exactly what physical attributes of his wives' he likes most. Because he knows, no matter what he says, he's a dead man. These two women will make it their personal mission to target his biases. However, he is secretly a thigh man, and he will take that to the grave.

15. What names are they saved as on each other’s phone?

Maeko: Ahmya = Babes. Kugo = Seafood

Ahmya: Maeko = Mommy. Kugo = Big Sakamata

Kugo: Maeko = Detective Wife. Ahmya = Little Sakamata

18. How are they like on a road trip together?

Kugo drives most of the time, and he is the best multitasker. He also keeps changing the radio station because he is very picky about songs. Ahmya fell asleep watching a movie after she ate all of the zebra cakes while he was driving.

Maeko is the best driver out of the three of them, but she can't multitask for shit. Radio is off, and while she won't stop anybody from carrying on a conversation, if she yells "shut up!" It's because she needs to focus for a brief moment, and they can't afford her losing her mind or else they find themselves wrapped around a tree.

16. What would they consider quality time?

Maeko just likes when people hang around her. They don't even need to be talking to her for her to consider it quality time. Like, Kugo and Ahmya might just come chill at her office while she works, and that's good enough for her.

Ahmya needs a little more attention, but her spouses are more than happy to give it to her. No shame in wanting some more engagement for quality time. Ahmya's love language is cooking, so she likes making meals for her spouses and having conversations with them. Also compliments about her food are the fastest way to make her light up.

Kugo is a touchstarved motherfucker (pun intended). A hug goes a long way with him, but any chance he can get to either have a spouse cuddling up to him or laying on him is good quality time for him. While they're cuddled up, conversations are appreciated, but so is comfortable silence. It doesn't matter if they're on him and focusing on something else or if he has their full attention.

Pepper, Silco

25. Pick a physical attribute that they love about each other.

I don't think it's a surprise that Pepper loves his hands. He touches everything like it's made of gold, but she also knows the strength they hold. She also loves his nose, but she won't elaborate on that one.

Silco doesn't know exactly what he'd say if he had to pick one, but he learned some things about himself the first time she wore a holster for her revolver that had both a belt and a thigh strap.

3. It’s late at night and your characters want food, what do they order/find in the fridge?

Pepper will go out and find some 24 hour take out place with the most unhealthy food she can find. Anything fried all to hell and covered in some spicy sauces.

Silco made a habit of eating shredded cheese late at night when he was hungry. It's usually the easiest thing to take out of the ice box and finish off. If he's a little more hungry, he'll make some kind of sandwich and just go back to bed.

22. Do they ever share clothes?

One time, Pepper woke up before him, because Sevika was banging on the door, saying Finn was here and refusing to leave until he had a meeting with Silco. The man was knocked the fuck out from exhaustion, and definitely not waking up for love, money, or threat of death.

Pepper couldn't find her shirt, so she just borrowed Silco's vest to fix the problem herself. Suddenly, Finn wasn't as confident as he initially thought. Silco found them in his office, and Finn went quiet, only for Silco to say "No, please continue. Unless it wasn't important enough to have woken me up at some ungodly hour of the morning. And alone, no less."

He also tells Pepper that she should wear that number more often.

As for Silco, not much of Pepper's clothes will fit him. But she does have a sleep shirt that he has stolen on more than one occasion.

24. What do your characters think about marriage? Are they for or against it?

I don't think either of them have much of an opinion on it. Marriage in the undercity is more like partners in crime. Really, the closest thing to a marriage in Zaun is love plus turning down someone offering money or other prizes and lying to them to protect your own significant other. And Silco and Pepper do it very frequently for each other.

To be fair, in order for it to really mean something, it has to be more valuable than what they're already receiving. So someone offering Pepper a better job, or more money than she gets from Silco in exchange for betraying him would be a rare occurrence, and Silco can't even think of any offer that would be worth more than Pepper.

However, they get double marriage points, because when offers like that do come up, they'll take it, and then go tell the other so they can double cross the bastard together.

21. Who is better at games? Does the loser take it graciously?

Pepper and Sevika used to make a bag cheating at cards in various gambling establishments, but she had to learn to play very well in order to pull off these schemes. She can fuck Silco up in any card game. Board games are a fucking nightmare for her. She is a sore loser.

Silco takes game losses very graciously. He's good at not taking competition too seriously and he typically uses games to pass the time. Usually he plays with Jinx when she's not busy, or when they both need a distraction, but playing with Pepper is usually very entertaining, because it's the only time he's ever seen her get so flustered.

16. What would they consider quality time?

Pepper likes talking about things. Nothing and everything. Deep conversations or smalltalk. It's all quality to her.

Silco won't ever admit it, but he likes when Pepper comes up late at night, past closing and just distracts him with whatever. Sometimes it's a drink and conversation, other times she just wants to sit in his lap and just fall against his chest just so she can say she's happily not working.

Devoan, Viktor

25. Pick a physical attribute that they love about each other.

Devo can't explain it, or even come to a logical conclusion about it. But something about his shoulders is just very distracting. She can't tell if it's his posture, or how he expresses emotions with them, but it's something she can't seem to stop noticing.

Viktor has his own troubles. Devo has very long hair, and he's not sure he can say it's her hair he finds attractive, but she will often take small pauses to slide her hands behind her neck, and flip it out for some relief from the heat. But his favorite thing to see is when she's finally had enough of the annoyance of it, and she'll take a few moments to gather herself to tie it up. She has definitely noticed how he always watches when she does this.

20. What are they like when sharing a bed?

Devo is a furnace, and Viktor is usually very cold. He usually takes more blankets, and the two often wake up either very close to each other, or cuddling up like they planned this. However, Viktor's occasional habit of blanket hogging is perfect revenge for Devo's unfortunate habit of starfishing and taking up most of the space.

48. Do they get on well with each other’s family? Is family important to them?

Devo doesn't realize until quite a ways into their relationship that she actually knows Viktor's mother. Both of them having grown up in the undercity, they didn't have much attachment to the idea of marriage, but when Jayce brings it up, their knee-jerk reaction was to say there was no way in hell they had the money for a wedding.

Jayce reminds them, "Guys, we're making money off of the most profitable company in Piltover's history."

And they both just kind of click like "shit, we have the money for a wedding!" Only for them to think on it for a few seconds more Devo just shakes her head. "I don't really want to get married." And Viktor shrugs in agreement like they both just considered taking an early lunch.

Jayce is not only surprised, but almost offended. He convinces them to at least have some kind of party if they choose to move in together, so they do. Several people bring gifts, and have a few drinks. But they also get a gift with a note "I'm sorry I couldn't make it. I couldn't get the time off of work. I guess some metalsmiths just don't get what's really priceless, but I'd love it if you two could visit some time. With love, Leah."

Devo is very confused that the woman she used to sell pickpocketed goods to was giving a gift for her housewarming party. But Viktor takes the note saying "Leah would be my mother."

After some brief clarification, they do indeed realize that Viktor's mother, and Devo's only means of work as a child were one in the same. The gift she gave were two personally designed necklaces for the two of them. Leah seemed to understand that this was their social equivalent to getting married in Piltover, and understood the assignment. They visit her the next month and it turns out that many of the items that Devo procured that couldn't be used would go to Viktor for him to build various things.

As for Devo's family, she states that Grayson was as close to a mother as she's ever had. But Grayson and Viktor aren't permitted much time to meet under the circumstances of their connection to Devo.

However, Viktor does meet Mita, who is very much like Devo's aunt. It's easy to say he was a little intimidated by her. But Mita's only words in regards to her opinion of him and his relationship with Devo was "If I didn't like you, you'd be a lot more scared of me."

So he considered that he's getting along a little bit with Devo's family.

18. How are they like on a road trip together?

Absolute chaos. Modern AU! Devo and Viktor are a nightmare to everyone except each other. This is the car that you are next to for like four hours on the highway, their windows are rolled down and they're blasting some Allstar by Smashmouth… for four hours… on loop. And you actually think one of them is asleep somehow. Turns out it's just Devo trying to figure out what it takes to wake up Viktor after he passed out. It takes four hours of that and Devo carefully placing pennies on his face while she drives before he wakes.

Devo is a great driver, only because she knows there's illegal shit in there, and if they get pulled over, they're both doing 15.

Viktor is also a good driver. But he also isn't quite as cautious of other cars as Devo. Occasionally he'll pull some bullshit and she'll ask "was that legal?" Only for him to say "eh.. probably."

[bokutoslittlebird]

Married Life with Kuroo

> He proposed with a Chemistry pun, on a beach, with the sun setting behind you both. It was so romantic, that this man hired a photographer to capture it. It sits on his desk at work, on the mantle at home, and in Nekomata's house. I like to headcanon Nekomata and Kuroo stay close like father and son.

> You'll be exhausted and overwhelmed living with him if you haven't until you got married. You guys live in a house now, of course, and he has himself on a strict schedule and so are you, most likely. His work has him working almost all day, so the nights and rare days off are for you two.

> Kuroo's love language is gifts. He enjoys receiving and giving gifts, so sometimes he comes home with a fancy necklace or bracelet he thinks compliments your skin tone, your hair, your eyes, or just something that's pretty. He'll even walk in one day with a rock and be like "I just think it's neat" and that rock is now sitting beside his proposal photo. His favorite gift to receive from you is kisses when he gets home, as well as spicy time in the bedroom.

> He also loves going out for dates, but they range. He could take you to a fancy restaurant, or a vendor stall. Even McDonald's. He could take you to the theater to watch a play or maybe a museum, talking your ear off about the things there or just whatever comes to mind. His favorite would have to be the amusement park (sometimes Bokuto joins, lol) and his favorite activity there is to try the food.

> Now, Bokuto, the bro. They are often hanging out at your house, even if he's supposed to be living in Osaka. Not only that, but your husband will leave you behind and fly/drive/ride to Osaka just to hang out with his "bro". Once, he did that without telling you and then found himself locked out of his own house because you were so pissed. Safe to say, he learned his lesson.

> You guys own one animal and it's a dog. Which dog? An Alaskan Malamute. Kuroo loves dogs and he'd probably own more than one, but he chose to start with an Alaskan Malamute so you forced him to only have the one. It's a large breed, but so adorable, so it takes up a lot of room. It's also affectionate and loyal, so sometimes Kuroo sleeps on the couch because his dog is sleeping beside you.

> You probably don't have to work much, let's be honest. He makes bank, bringing in the big bucks. If you choose to work, then you guys will alternate determined days for chores. He's the best at doing the dishes, you're the best at the laundry. Well, he's the worst at the laundry, that is. He (almost) flooded your house once because he did the laundry. However, if you choose not to work, then you'll be in charge of all the chores. If you've had a long week or a stressful day, he'll probably surprise you by doing the dishes. It's the little things like that.

> Kuroo makes delicious food, he just can't bake. He makes sure you have nutritious meals, always eating your vegetables. He acts like your mother more than your husband sometimes. He also loves to experiment with recipes, almost always getting them to taste delicious on the first try (I'm jealous). The days he has to work late are the worst because the food can never compare to his cooking, often settling on a TV dinner.

> This man.. loves children. I wouldn't put it past him to be ready for children the moment you said yes to him. If you don't want children, he may have a problem with it but he can compromise. He would have definitely talked to you about it beforehand, however, so he knew where you stood on the topic. If you don't want to be pregnant, he raises the option of adoption. Your stance on children determines your future with him.

> Like Akaashi, arguments are rare. Well, I guess serious arguments are rare. Arguments over dinner or what to watch on TV or even what shop to go to first on a shopping trip are common. He can also get into arguments over science stuff, like facts that he knows are right and you won't back down. This often ends up making you feel stupid and/or dumb and he stops because either one: you're upset at him or two: you're crying.

[anxious-ace]

📂any rando FACE family hetalia headcanons you have /or individual headcanons for the face members! 😊

Absolutely

France/Francis:

The chef of the family

He is also the fashion designer

He will make sure that they are the most stylish family in the town

Definitely has a "kiss the cook" apron

Got absolutely black out drunk during quarantine and made out with a mannequin he uses for designing clothes

Hair stylist

Basically anything fashion and food is his domain

Helped style the kids' hair when they were younger, he even taught Matthew how to do it so he could help Michelle

Has some, interesting, things in his house 👀

He would've bought a wine filled bean bag chair if Arthur let him

PANSEXUAL, CIS GENDER, GENDER NON CONFORMING KING

Isn't allowed to drive, ever

Speaking of England/Arthur:

He is diabetic so his food is made with less sugar, no one else besides Francis, Matthew, Alfred, Michelle and the rest of the Kirkland family know

Matthew carries a med bag that has his insulin and other medication in it

Fun fact: insulin was invented in Canada so thanks to him, Arthur hasn't passed out from diabetic shock in forever

That's why his food is bland

He also panics while he cooks if he's cooking for someone else

He probably has really bad head trauma from that shooting star and all the wars he was in, so when he stands up too fast, he starts getting dizzy

He also trembles really badly when distressed or panicking, sometimes he can't even hold a pen

While Francis makes sure they're stylish, Arthur makes sure they won't die from the cold (yes even Matthew has to wear a coat even though he's the coldest country out of the entire Kirkland family)

The only trans uk brother

"My sexuality is mind your business"

He's bisexual

Canada/Matthew:

As I stated before, he gets silent during meetings or other settings that can cause anxiety, he's selectively mute and has really bad anxiety

He is a nature photographer

He and Michelle take absolutely amazing pictures together

He is afraid of heights, mostly being in a plane, because on 9/11, he was in one of the planes that crashed into the twin towers

He was going to visit Alfred for a bros day out

He was in the window seat and saw the inside of the tower as they crashed

He also hates heights in general (just looking at a tall building is enough to give him a panic attack)

Was afraid of heights before the 9/11 attacks, that is what made it worse, no knows why, I'm not even sure he knows why

(Hint: Arthur's brothers + tiny Matthew + edge of a cliff = disaster + life long fear of heights)

He is a medical professional with a medical degree

He and Cuba get high together and chat about pretty much anything

Can sew clothes, either entirely from scratch or patches up damaged clothes

When he plays hockey, watch out, he will slaughter you

Trans man who's sexuality is maple, just kidding he's pansexual

Can get pregnant

Where did you think the provinces came from?

Francis taught him to love all genders, he took that to heart

His romantic and platonic feelings for people get blurred together in some weird way

America/Alfred:

He's not as fat or dumb as everyone believes, and he knows it.

He works out more than anyone and all throughout school, he and Matthew were the best in their classes

Statistically, along with one the highest rates of obesity, America also has a huge rate of people with eating disorders, meaning he forces himself to throw up everything he ate at the end of the day

He has a pressure point located just above his stomach and below his sternum, if you hit it, the pain is so bad, he'll throw up everything, including stomach acid and even blood in rare cases

During the Civil War, he tried to saw himself in half, symbolizing the south trying to secede from the country, he gave himself a nasty jagged scar which marks where the pressure point is

Both he and Matthew have matching scars on their chests from the war of 1812, only they know how they got them

They've reconciled since then, but Alfred won't let Matthew or Arthur near a lighter again

He saw the 9/11 attacks, mainly the ones in New York, meaning he saw the plane that Matthew was in crash into the second building

He knew he was visiting, that's why he was in New York, he was going to pick him up from the airport, instead, he needed him to pick him up from the hospital that day

Can cook, but it's more of a home style, basically American barbecue (hamburgers, hotdogs, etc)

He is trans and can get pregnant

Where did you think the states came from?

He's bisexual but he is also just really friendly so his romantic and platonic feelings get blurred

Seychelles/Michelle:

The best swimmer in the family

Helped take care of the twins after the 9/11 attacks

Has a pet turtle named Shelly

Matthew or Francis does her hair

Can usually be seen barefoot on the closet beach

Probably playing with a turtle or swimming

Has a full on aquarium in her house

Her sexuality is women who can kick your ass but can also give some mean cuddles when you need it

"Lesbian of the ocean, what is your wisdom?" "The world is cold and hard, but girls are hot and soft."