#I can’t promise this will be my last link loves food joke

[breaths-of-fresh-air-zelink]

If zelink was a Hallmark movie

[bluehoodiewoozi]

Dreamers

Lee Seokmin (DK) x fem!reader

Genre: mostly fluff, with a hint of anxiety

Word Count: 10.9k

Wanings: food mentions. adult language. a few parts may come off as suggestive, but not really. y/n is an environmentalist but not vegan.

[Series: Serenity Street 17] Sleepwalking is a nasty issue. You find yourself in the correct building but wrong apartment, sharing a room with a ridiculously cute boy who seems to find it amusing.

Note: This one goes out to all of my ambitious girlies! Keep working towards your dreams!

The moment you stepped onto the evening bus you regretted the decision. 

With a bright smile, Sunny greeted you, rushing to move her bags into her lap so you could take the seat next to her, all while never once taking her eyes off you. Her brows rose in a questioning manner. You cursed under your breath as your neighbour’s usual warm smile morphed into a look of disbelief when you sank into the seat next to her.

With a sigh, you raised a hand to silence her. “I know.”

But she didn’t take the hint. “When was the last time you slept? Did you sleep at all last night?”

“Why do you keep asking questions you already know the answer to?” you whined and hugged your bag close to your chest. “I’m sure you heard me showering at 3 am.”

“The bags under your eyes aren’t supposed to make it look like you have a black eye,” she told you as if she hadn’t heard you at all, still eyeing you in worry. “How much did you sleep? You look worse than Jeonghan when he thought I was mad at him.”

“Does it matter?” You huffed. “At least I’m getting some rest.” 

“I think it only counts as rest if you actually get 8 hours of sleep every once in a while,” she countered with a snicker, “which, by the looks of it,” she gave you a once-over, followed by a disappointed a sigh, “you haven’t had in years.”

“I sleep just fine. I’m healthy, I am productive,” you defended and tightened your hold on your bag. “Sleep is for the weak anyway.”

Sunny rolled her eyes. “Sometimes I wonder how you’re friends with me but not Jihoon. Your mentality is almost identical.”

“Listen, somebody has to do the work. And unlike some, I’d actually like my work to amount to something bigger than an average paycheck that barely covers my bills. I have ambitions. I want to make the world a better place.”

“Honey, at this rate you’re not gonna live long enough to see your ambitions come to life,” she grumbled under her breath and linked your arms. “It’s okay to rest every once in a while. Take a week off from work and actually just do something fun for a change.”

You grimaced. “I’d rather not. Messes with my groove.”

Sunny had no words left to say. She stared at you with a wide mouth for a moment before sputtering, “How– How are we friends?”

“Fate brought us together so you could nag me at all possible hours,” you joked, looking out the window now to avoid missing your stop. “But seriously, I don’t need to rest. I love my job and my colleagues and I’m making a change.”

“You should at least go to sleep early tonight.”

“Can’t. I have a big report due next week and I don’t want to miss my deadlines.”

Her gaze hardened immediately as she cursed, “Why, you little–”

“Hey!”

“I’m just worried about you,” she mumbled through a pout just as your bus arrived at your shared destination. With a begrudging sigh, she unlinked your arms and gave you an encouraging pat on the shoulder as the two of you stood up and walked over to the door “Well, I guess it’s your life. But I swear–” she pointed at your face, eyes squinted in a glare; she interrupted herself mid-sentence, “no, I vow that if you collapse under the stress, I’ll personally go and hand in a letter of resignation in your name.”

You scoffed at her empty promises, smiled, and stepped off the bus. You had no doubt you would be just fine and she was overreacting over nothing. She couldn’t wrap her mind around your work ethic and goals – she was built of an entirely different wood.

Then again, you couldn’t deny you often felt a little jealous of her. The nagging feeling hit once again when you looked up to find Jeonghan standing at the gate of your building, his smile widening the closer Sunny and you got to him. You envied that she had found – through trials and tribulations, you’d admit – a perfect man to brighten her days while you had no time to even contemplate romance.

“How was your day, my beautiful lady?” Jeonghan greeted your neighbour with a sweet kiss on her forehead before taking her bag and leading her inside with a hand on her back. He didn’t forget to offer you a welcoming smile and a friendly “good evening” as well, both of which you returned.

“Are you going to the 5th floor tonight?” you asked them as the three of you trudged up the stairs and they made no effort to walk to her apartment. 

Sunny nodded. “It’s movie night and he has the bigger TV.”

Jeonghan let out a loud ‘ha!’ and grinned at her victoriously. “So you admit it. My TV’s better than yours!”

“That’s–” She sighed deeply. “That is not the point right now–”

“How is it not?”

Unable to continue watching their lovers’ quarrel, you hummed and waved them goodbye before promptly unlocking your apartment, walking in, and quickly locking it again as if their bickering or cheesy nicknames could otherwise follow after you. 

You had far more important things to do, after all. 

With a tired sigh, you warmed up some of last night’s leftovers and opened your laptop. The familiar Times New Roman font on your screen prompted a soft groan, but still you squared your shoulders and got to work. 

If you were quick, you’d get this done way before the deadline. Maybe you could even go to work in the morning with a nearly finished report! You smiled at the thought. 

But life doesn’t always go as expected. 

You thought you were old enough to know this fact already. After all, when had life ever followed your expectations? It seemed to enjoy throwing curve balls right at your head.

You woke up with a splitting headache at 7 am, an hour before your usual alarm. It was strange – you concluded so as you stared at the time on your phone through a squint. With a soft huff, you let the phone drop back onto the mattress and your head onto the pillows.

“Sorry, did I wake you?” you then heard a voice.

Your eyes snapped open. There was someone in your room. 

The voice sounded apologetic as it continued in a whisper, “It’s okay. I didn’t mean to make any noise. Sorry. Let me just get my shirt and–”

You sat up abruptly to stare at the intruder – a handsome familiar-looking man shuffled around the walk-in closet. Worst of all – he was shirtless. You dreaded to think of what had happened the night before.

“Who– Who are you?” you stuttered out, instinctively lifting the blanket higher against your torso despite the fact that you were fully clothed. “Why are you in my apart–” 

Then it hit you. The worst of the worst realities. 

“Holy shit, this isn’t my apartment!” you screamed and jumped out of bed to apologise profusely. “I’m so so sorry! I had no idea! I don’t how–”

“Hey, hey!” The man – now wearing a crispy white button-up shirt – walked out of the closet hurriedly, a worried smile on his face as he rushed to comfort you with a gentle hand on your back, leading you to sit back on the bed. “It’s okay.” He let out a laugh. “I was going to let you sleep for a while more. It’s okay.”

You had no clue how he could be so calm about this. What the hell happened last night?!

You stuttered. You sputtered. You gasped for air like a fish out of the water. You were on the verge of a panic attack at 7 am in the morning and he was smiling, all while patting and rubbing your back like it was the most natural thing. 

“Why am I here?” you eventually managed to breathe out. You hated to admit that his calm and friendly nature was helping you adjust to the situation.

He raised a brow, his soothing movements stopping. “I was hoping you could answer that.” 

When you made no move to do so and only offered him a puzzled look, he shrugged. “I woke up to someone trying to unlock my door at 2 am. Almost cried, actually, but then I heard a knock and Mingyu telling me to open the door, so I did and you…” He gestured widely to his room. “Well, you came in and went straight to bed as if it was your own home. I didn’t know what to do but Mingyu and I figured you needed to rest.”

You stared at him with a dropped jaw. “You didn’t think to call the police?”

“Well,” he grimaced, “I was going to but you really looked like you needed to sleep.” He gave you a worried look, inspecting your face. “You still do, actually. Do you sleep at all, like, outside of my bed?”

“I sleep plenty,” you scoffed and got out of the bed, wiping your face with your sleeves as if to rid it of any evidence that might suggest otherwise. With an awkward look, you bowed and began heading out. “Well, thank you for… your hospitality. I’ll get going. I’m sorry for bothering you. This won’t happen again.”

Before he could say another word, you slammed the door shut behind you and began heading… where were you heading?

You looked around the hallway. It was still your building. You could recognise these hallways even in your sleep. A quick glance informed you that you had just stepped out of apartment 1D – the apartment directly below yours.

You groaned as the realisation sank in that you could never visit the first floor without feeling awkward again. With a sigh, you headed up the stairs to your own apartment.

“Isn’t that Seokmin’s apartment?” Sunny pointed out when you told her of your horrible adventure on the bus home from work later that day. She frowned a little as she tried to recall exactly who lived there. 

“Whoever it was, at least it wasn’t Jihoon.” You shuttered to even think about it.

Sunny grimaced. “Yeah, I’d be bailing you both out of jail right about now.” She then shrugged. “Yeah, I think that’s Seokmin’s apartment. He really just let you stay the night there?”

“Apparently?” You wanted to laugh at the insanity of the situation. “I have no recollection of what happened or how I ended up there. The last thing I remember is working on my report in my kitchen and then waking up in a shirtless man’s apartment.”

“Shirt–” She almost broke her neck at the speed she turned her head to look at you with wide eyes. “He was shirtless when you woke up?!”

“He was getting dressed for work–”

“Well, is he hot?!”

You had never wanted to throw someone out of a moving vehicle so much before. “Is this what you’re focusing on right now? I’m going through a crisis here!”

“Yeah but–”

“You literally have a boyfriend!”

“Yeah, but–” She paused mid-excuse and nodded her head in acknowledgement. “Right. You have a point there.”

“How did I possibly end up in his apartment at night without remembering it?” you contemplated, leaning your head back against the seat. “I can’t think of a single explanation.”

“It is weird,” Sunny hummed in agreement as the bus rolled to your stop. The two of you got off. 

“Where’s Jeonghan?” you wondered in surprise upon not seeing him all the way up to the second floor.

Sunny shrugged, still deep in thought about your predicament. “I don’t know. Probably causing trouble with Junhui again. Possibly getting on Joshua’s or Hyesoo’s nerves. Maybe he stole someone’s mail or took the hinges off someone’s door. Not my problem.”

You could only stare at her in absolute wonder. “He’s your boyfriend.”

“He’s his own person.” She then clapped her hands together in revelation, stopping in her steps in the middle of the hallway. “Didn’t you say you used to sleep-walk as a kid? I swear you mentioned it over coffee once.”

You nodded. “Yeah, but it hasn’t happened in a literal decade.”

“Who’s to say it didn’t happen again last night?” she suggested with a shrug. “By the way, do you wanna come over for coffee and cake? Jeonghan bought one on sale because the expiration date is today, but it’s sort of giant.”

After contemplating for a moment (more of a debate really, won by the grumbling of your stomach), you agreed and followed her into her apartment. 

As the two of you walked into the kitchen, she continued, “All I’m saying is that there’s a lot going on in your life right now and maybe it all worked together – the stress, the lack of sleep, you get the gist – and now you’re sleepwalking again.”

“I sincerely doubt it.”

“You should see a doctor about that,” Jeonghan suggested. You jumped in your spot before finding him sitting at the dining table, fully focused on assembling a lego set. He continued without a care in the world, “Sleepwalking can be a serious issue.”

Your eyes narrowed. “Why are you here?”

He finally glanced up to offer you an amused look and a chuckle. “I’m her boyfriend. Where else would I be?”

“I invited her over for coffee and cake,” Sunny informed him with a kiss on his cheek. “Play nice.”

“Yes, princess,” he spoke in reply before turning back to you. “But I would really go to the doctor if I was you. If it’s bad enough that you wake up in someone else’s apartment, it’s bad enough to warrant a doctor’s visit.”

You felt yourself pale, your blood running both ice cold and lava hot. “How– Why do you know that?”

“It’s the talk of the town,” he joked before waving his joke off. “Just kidding. I met Seokmin on my way to the store earlier and he told me. He seemed worried about you.”

“So it is Seokmin!” Sunny cheered victoriously. “I knew it! I told you!”

Jeonghan raised an eyebrow and laughed. “Good job.”

“Thanks.”

You sat down at the table and slumped in the chair. “But if I’m sleepwalking, why did I go to his apartment?”

“Isn’t it right below yours?” Jeonghan pointed out like it was obvious. “Asleep you probably thought you were going to your own apartment. You just mixed up the floors.”

“So,” you sighed and rubbed the bridge of your nose before meeting his eyes and maintaining eye contact, “what you’re suggesting is that I fell asleep–”

“Yes.”

“–in my apartment–”

“Mhm.”

“–then left my apartment for some reason–”

“That much seems obvious.”

“–and then went to Seokmin’s apartment–”

“For some reason, yes.”

“–one level below my own?”

Eyes widening, he hummed at the slight error in the logic. “You do have a point. Why would you leave your own apartment to go to your apartment?”

“My head hurts just listening to this,” Sunny informed the two of you while serving the cake. As a slice fell over on a plate she quickly assigned to Jeonghan, she suddenly suggested, “What if you thought you were going on a walk and then returned home?”

Jeonghan leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms over his chest as he began recounting, “So, what you think happened is that she fell asleep–”

“I’m going to kick the both of you out if you start again,” his girlfriend declared all of a sudden, pointing a knife in his direction. “I’m serious.”

“It is a reasonable guess though,” you decided as Sunny placed a plate of cake in front of you. “I do love going on walks when I’m stressed.”

“Then–”

A knock on the door interrupted the conversation. You watched in mild amusement as Sunny and Jeonghan silently argued over who should open the door and if they should open the door at all. Eventually, to your surprise, Jeonghan relented and got up with a slight groan. The moment he was out of the kitchen, Sunny stole his seat across from you.

“I think the worst part is that I don’t know how to face him again, like ever,” you started the conversation again while taking a bite of the cake. “It was so awkward.”

“Speaking of awkward,” Jeonghan announced and led the newest guest into the apartment. The now familiar feeling of both ice and lava in your veins made a new appearance as you recognised the visitor. Your spoon dropped back on the table.

Seokmin offered you a friendly smile and a wave. “Ah, so that’s where you are. I tried your door but no one answered so I wondered if I had the wrong place.”

“You–” That was the only syllable you managed to voice. Your brain was scattered, filled with pictures of the awkward morning as well as a single fluttering butterfly carrying an obnoxious sign that said ‘he cares’. You gulped. 

Thankfully, Sunny stepped in. She smiled brightly and ushered Seokmin to take a seat while she found an extra plate. 

“I wasn’t going to come and bother anyone–” he tried to reject the offer of cake, but failed to. He was too friendly for his own good – just like the rumours around the building often said. He sat in the seat Sunny had preoccupied just seconds ago, right across from you, and smiled at her. “Well, if you insist.”

“What can I do?” Jeonghan sighed and theatrically looked away as he started his monologue. “Everyone loves my girlfriend so much. How can I possibly keep her–”

“Stop being melodramatic and come eat, idiot,” Sunny laughed and took the seat next to you. “So, Seokmin, what brings you to my friend over here?”

Seokmin opened his mouth to reply before turning to you and softly asking, “Is it okay to talk about it here?”

Sunny chuckled. “About her waking up in your apartment? Go ahead. I think everyone in the building knows already.”

“Oh.” He offered you an awkward-looking smile. “Well, sorry about that. I only mentioned it to Mingyu and Jeonghan but I guess– Nevermind. I just wanted to tell you to not worry about it.” His smile brightened, genuine and full of warmth all of a sudden. “We all have rough days – and rough nights – and I’m just glad you got some rest.”

“I have one question,” Jeonghan raised his arm before asking, “where did you sleep?”

“Me?” Seokmin shrugged. “The sofa. There was a woman in my bed.”

You somehow felt both worse and better than before. At least you knew he didn’t hold a grudge – after all, he seeked you out just to tell you it had been fine – but at the same time: you made this poor man sleep on the sofa instead of his objectively comfortable bed.

“I’m so sorry–”

“I said it’s fine,” he laughed and reached out to pat your hand. “I really don’t mind. You looked like you were sleeping very well. But–” he tilted his head in thought, a slight frown appearing, “–is it possible you were sleepwalking? You didn’t react at all last night, to anything. You just… brushed past us like we weren’t even there. I don’t know if you even had your eyes open.”

Sunny all but slammed her spoon on the table to give you a haughty look. “Yep. Told you. You were sleepwalking.”

You frowned. “I guess it’s possible.”

“Should I…” Seokmin scrunched up his nose in thought. “Should I maybe keep a look out in case this happens again?”

Immediately you shook your head. “No. No need. It was a one-time thing. A fluke. It was nothing. Won’t happen again.” In your attempts to not look at him, you happened to eye the clock. Your jaw dropped. “Oh. I should go home. I have–”

“–a report due in a week and deadlines to meet,” Sunny finished for you with a laugh. “I know, I know. Go.”

Jeonghan spoke up as well, “Take the plate and another slice of cake before you go. I want to know you eat at least a little between your work.”

You did as you were told and made your escape without another word, not even a goodbye to Seokmin. 

You had no time to feel guilty or consider that your heart fluttered a little at the thought of him coming to find you. Once again, you buried your feelings into lines of Times New Roman in your report.

“Oh, you come here too?” you heard his voice just two days later at the grocery store. 

It was a little surprising to find him there: the store was a good mile further from the one closest to your building. Like a startled owl, you stared and blinked at him in the cereal aisle. 

As you opened your mouth to respond, he chuckled and looked away at the cereals. “Don’t worry. You don’t have to talk to me. I just needed to get some Fruit Loops and figured I might as well say hi.” He placed the cereal in question into his basket and offered you one more friendly smile and a playful wave. “So, hi!”

“Hi,” you managed to drag out as you lifted your hand in a wave. 

With a chuckle, he turned and headed away to the next aisle. You thought you were free from him for the day. 

But alas: you found him again when you went to get eggs. He seemed to be contemplating between two brands. You tried your best to go unnoticed as you searched for your favourite local free range brand. To you dismay, he stood right in front of the eggs you seeked. 

“Excuse me,” you started and tapped his shoulder when he didn’t seem to notice.

He smiled upon recognising you. “Yeah?”

“Could you move? I want those eggs.”

“The expensive ones?” He raised an eyebrow and handed you a carton. “They’re almost triple the price of the store brand.”

“But they’re free range and locally sourced. You should try them,” you explained with the slightest bit of enthusiasm before placing eggs into your cart and walking away in the direction you thought him least likely to follow. 

You truly thought you were free of him when you went to the checkout, but once again, as if tasked by god himself to be wherever you went, Seokmin was in front of you in queue, meticulously placing his items on the counter. As he turned to put away his basket, his eyes found yours and a bright smile appeared on his face. “Oh, it’s you again!”

“It’s me again,” you replied with an awkward laugh. 

“Are you leaving too?” he wondered while fishing his bag for his wallet. When you nodded, his eyes lit up. “Do you need a ride home?”

Your eyes widened. “A ride?” 

Why was he offering you a ride home? Why was he so friendly with you at all? You had broken into his apartment – in the eyes of the legal system anyway – and he was smiling at you like you were a beloved friend. 

“Of course. We should stick together, no? We’re neighbours, after all– Hold on,” he interrupted himself to respond to the cashier, “Yes, by card please.Thank you.”

“You might have to wait a moment then,” you finally relented when he turned to you once again, eyes resembling a puppy. His smile widened at your words and he nodded. 

The ride home was short and awkward. You greatly feared he would try to retaliate for the emotional damage you might’ve caused by sleeping in his apartment. To your relief, he did not such thing and only continued cheerfully chattering.

“–but I feel like a dog would be too much work, you know? I love dogs but I don’t have that kind of time.” He offered you a glance. “Do you have any pets?”

You scrunched up your face in thought as the car rolled to a stop in the parking lot of the building. “I have a cactus.”

“... Does it have a name?”

Eager to not disappoint, you blurted out the first name that came to mind: “Bertha.” You shut your eyes in shame.

But as the two of you got out of his small red car, he laughed. “Bertha? Sounds lovely. Is she high-maintenance?”

“Very.”

“Yeah?”

You decided you liked his laughter and the bright smile that came with. “Easier than a dog though.”

He laughed louder at that and handed you your grocery bags. “I bet. Maybe I should get a cactus too.”

“I highly recommend,” you chuckled, finding his laughter contagious. “It’s very fulfilling to watch it do absolutely nothing all-year-round.”

When the two of you got into the hallway, he paused in front of the staircase. As you were about to ask him about it, he asked, “Do you need help with your bags?”

“No, I’m–”

“They look heavy.” He frowned before holding up a single finger, jogging over to his door, dropping his singular bag in front of it, and running back to you. Before you could formally protest, he grabbed the bags from your hands and began the journey up the stairs. When you froze in your spot, he turned to ask, “Well, aren’t you coming? Or were you going to sleep at mine again?”

Your face burned at the teasing comment. You decided following after him was the lesser evil. 

“There we go,” he cheered when the two of you reached your door. He rubbed his hands against his thighs a few times, awkwardly like a schoolboy, before smiling and waving goodbye. “I guess this is goodbye for the day. It was nice talking to you.”

You didn’t manage to even thank him before he was already halfway down the stairs. Maybe you made him as nervous as you made him. As you went to sleep that night, you replayed the interaction over and over again in your head, failing to hide a smile at the memory.

The valley of the mattress had a hold over you. You had never been so comfortable waking up – well, with the exception of maybe once or twice. 

The pillows were the perfect temperature, the blanket hugged you just right, the big teddy bear you hugged to your chest smelled fresh out of the washing machine– 

“Since when do I have a teddy bear?” you grumbled in confusion and pried your eyes open. You felt all blood rush away from your face as you looked at the bear – light brown with a baby blue bow, its eyes shining up at you. 

You had never even seen this bear before.

Cursing under your breath, you glanced around the room. You were back in your very own personal hell full of flowing beige curtains, white unfamiliar sheets, and teddy bears: the hell known as Seokmin’s apartment.

The realisation brought tears of frustration to your eyes, but you were too stubborn to let them loose. It was barely 8 am but you were already on the verge of crying – what a joke.

Wiping your eyes, you all but slammed the bear down on the bed (you’ll never admit you did feel a little bad about it seconds later and gave it a little pat on the head) and stood up. You stumbled out of the bedroom and towards the front door. 

As you reached for the doorknob – the final obstacle on your journey out of hell –, you heard his voice, sweet as honey like always, “Oh, you’re not going to stay for breakfast?”

You froze.

“I made extra waffles and all,” he added, sounding a little dejected. You didn’t have the heart to tell him no, so you sighed softly and turned around to give him a tight-lipped not-quite-genuine smile. His own grin brightened at the sight. “Is that a yes? You’ll stay?”

“Only for the waffles,” you lied and took a seat at his table. 

He laughed and placed a plate of fresh food in front of you before taking the seat across from you. “Not because you don’t want me to feel bad?”

“No,” you grabbed a fork and began filling it with food, “I just don’t like food waste.”

“Oh, right! Minghao said you work for an environmental company. That sounds cool.”

“Yeah?” You swallowed your food. “What about you? What do you do for work?”

He cleared his throat as though the question had caught him by surprise and he was too shy to say. After a moment of silence, he bashfully admitted, “I’m a music teacher at primary school.”

You blinked in surprise. “A music teacher?”

“Well, I wanted to be a singer– a musical actor, actually,” he explained, his voice fluctuating in volume and his ears bright red, “but I’m a little too shy to audition. So I just stuck with teaching others to sing.”

“That’s so cool though,” you told him with a smile. “Are you good at singing?”

His ears seemed to turn an even deeper red. “My friends think so but I don’t know. I think there’s still a lot of room for improvement.”

“Then why not audition? You only live once.”

He seemed thoughtful all of a sudden, watching your increasingly awkward self. You were just about ready to apologise for your possibly intrusive question when he softly asked, “Why not rest and live a little? You only live once, right?” 

The question felt awfully pointed and you didn’t fail to let him know with a glare. 

“I’m serious,” he declared, his lips pouting a little as if he was actually upset at your lack of self-care. “Whenever I see you, you’re always rushing somewhere. The only person you seem to be friends with is Sunny, and maybe Jeonghan by association.”

You opened your mouth to defend yourself. “I’m also friends with Minghao–”

“He barely even leaves his apartment. He doesn’t count.”

“He counts!”

“Do I count?”

“Of course you–” Your eyes widened as did his smile. 

“We’re friends now!” he declared while pointing an accusatory finger at you, his voice raising in excitement. You began to protest but he was having none of it. “No take-backs! We’re friends – you just said so!”

“I didn’t actually–”

“Nope. No. We’re friends.” He narrowed his eyes at you, his smile never fading. “Or do you just sleep in random guys’ beds?”

You wanted to protest, you really did, but there’s only so much you can say to defend yourself against such accusations. Besides, his bright smile at your defeated nod could’ve won awards.

Accidentally waking in his apartment didn’t end. No. In fact, it somehow got worse.

Once every week quickly turned into once every few days. You were tempted to start keeping track of how often you woke up in your own bed but one could assume the numbers wouldn’t be too impressive. 

You grew accustomed to the smell of his detergent and the smell of breakfast in the mornings. Was this what it might’ve been like to be in a relationship? 

“How come you’ve never dated anyone?” he wondered once over breakfast.

You shrugged. “I don’t have the time.”

“Too busy saving the world?” he teased like he often did. Over time you stopped finding it annoying (perhaps because he sounded almost genuinely proud of you every time he said it). 

“I assume you don’t get a lot of dates either,” you bit right back between bites of pancakes.

He seemed to be taken aback by your observation. “What makes you think that?”

“You sleep with a teddy bear, Seokmin,” you deadpanned. 

He pouted. “Fluffy is a premium sleep companion.”

You laughed. “Is he?”

“You steal him every other night!” he accused with a chuckle. “I’m sure you know how great he is by now.”

“He’s truly a– What did you say? A premium sleep companion?”

“That’s what the label said when I got him.”

“Maybe I should invest in a bear too,” you wondered thoughtfully between bites. 

Seokmin raised an eyebrow. “Then why don’t you?”

“No ti–”

“If you make the ‘no time’ excuse again, I will scream,” he said with in utmost seriousness. You promptly shut up: Seokmin’s lung capacity was well-known by everyone in the building.

After a moment of silence, he cleared his throat. “You know, if it’s physical contact that you need to sleep– Nevermind. How are the pancakes?”

Whether it was to save your or his dignity, you chose to ignore his first comment and answered only the last question, “Their colour is nicer than usual. I like the golden colour.”

“I guess the free range eggs really do make a difference,” Seokmin mused with a chuckle. When you offered him a surprised look, he hummed in confusion. “What?”

“You bought free range eggs? Didn’t you say they were too expensive last time?”

He shrugged. “I figured I might as well try to make some more ethical choices while shopping. Besides, you recommended them–”

Your eyes welled up a little. “You bought more expensive eggs because I recommended them?”

“And because I care for animals,” he added in a little too fast. 

You laughed and nodded. “For the animals, right. Me too.”

“Do you ever rest from your work?” he wondered after a moment. “What do you do outside of it?”

“I… don’t know. I read. I like to clean.”

“But what about going to festivals? Swimming? Cycling? Dancing?” He grew more and more desperate as you rejected every hobby he offered. “No wonder you’re so tired all of the time! You’re a workaholic.”

You snorted. “Sunny did say I’m similar to Jihoon.”

“I didn’t think it was this bad.”

“I think he’s worse though.”

“Oh, definitely, but he doesn’t go to sleep in his neighbours’ beds,” Seokmin pointed out with a look of worry. As he watched you for an exactly uncomfortable amount of time, his eyes eventually lit up again. “I have an idea. What are you doing tomorrow evening?”

“Working–”

“I swear if I hear that word one more time, I will scream.”

You, once again, promptly shut up. 

“Great,” he beamed and clapped his hands together, “I’ll text you to details later.”

“You’re not even going to tell me what we’re doing?”

You sighed in disappointment as he smiled brightly and shook his head ‘no’. 

A knock on your door notified you of his arrival. Despite being sure it wasn’t meant to be a date and knowing that Seokmin had seen you in far worse condition, you still took a deep breath and gave yourself a quick once-over at the mirror.

When you opened the door, he smiled at you brightly. “I see you’ve dressed up too.”

“I would hardly call this dressed up,” you told him rather sheepishly, suddenly even more aware of you appearance. “You look very dapper as well.”

“Yep, and do you want to know why?” 

“Why?”

His smile widened so much you worried for his cheeks. “Because you and I are going to the theatre.”

“The theatre?” You paled at the mention and looked down at your outfit. “I feel like I’m underdressed then.”

“You look fine,” he laughed and grabbed your hand. “Let’s go or we’ll be late. And trust me,” he widened his eyes for dramatic effect, “you don’t want to be late.”

You gave in begrudgingly and locked the door as fast as you could while he practically bounced at your side in excitement. 

“What are we going to watch then?” you finally remembered to ask when you entered the theatre less than 15 minutes later. “I swear, if you dragged me here to watch an opera–”

“It’s a musical, actually,” he admitted bashfully. “I love musicals and I don’t know much about other theatre performances so I thought– But if you don’t like musicals, that’s–”

“I don’t mind musicals,” you told him with a little laugh and pat on his shoulder. “But I have to admit, it has been ages since my last time at the theatre, and I haven’t seen a musical in a few years at least.”

“That’s fine. I’ll guide you through it.” And as if the last shy bone had left his body, he grabbed your hand and led you to your seats, all the while widely smiling at you and giving your hand periodical squeezes of encouragement. 

His hand never left yours for the duration of the musical, not even for intermission, not even when he ordered cake from the theatre café to hold you over until after the show. His hand remained warm in yours, fingers squeezing a little tighter every once in a while, his thumb running over the back of your hand. 

It was so warm, so comforting. Just his presence alone was enough to make you dizzy with the feeling of safety and happiness. His touch? You were floating on cloud 9 with zero regard for what was going on below – or on the stage, for that matter.

Frankly, you could barely remember to watch the musical because you were so busy marvelling at the feel of his hand in yours. 

“That was so good,” he excitedly told you as the two of you returned to your apartment. “The music was phenomenal.”

“The actors were very good.” And that was the only contribution you could make to the conversation because you definitely hadn’t paid any attention to the plot and your knowledge of music was simply not there.

But thankfully, that seemed to be far more than enough. His eyes gleamed as he sat onto your sofa and gestured widely while speaking, “Right? The leading woman was just– Incredible, fantastic. Her range! I’m a little jealous, actually.”

You took the seat next to him. To your surprise, his hand found yours once again, wasting no time in interlocking your fingers. And just like that, paying attention to anything else became difficult. 

Were you really developing a crush on him? Just like that? You refused. You were too busy to be pining after a man. 

But when slid closer to your side and looked at you like you were the most wonderful person to ever exist, you suddenly didn’t care about the lack of time. Screw it. You’d make time if it meant you got to see his star-filled eyes again. 

“... Sorry, what?” you coughed out when he paused and looked at you expectantly.

He laughed. “You’re so cute. I asked if you wanted to go see another musical with me someday.”

“I’d love to,” you blurted out without thinking. 

Yeah. Screw deadlines. 

“Okay, perfect!” His smile brightened up the entire room as he rested his head on your shoulder. “Because I heard they’re doing Excalibur next season and I desperately need a friend to go watch it with me. I saw the premise and heard a preview of one of the songs and they’re holding auditions next month and I am already obsessed–”

Your brain was barely functioning at all, and yet you could recall one single memory from the depths of it. A dream he had shared. “Then why don’t you audition?”

He sat up abruptly, looking at you as if you were insane. “I couldn’t possibly–”

“Why not?” you asked. “I heard you singing the other day. You’re really good. I think you could get any part pretty easily.”

His ears turned more red with every word you said. “You flatter me…”

“I’m serious, Seokmin!”

“I’m not that good. And I have zero acting experience, aside from a few courses I did in college. Why would they ever pick me?”

“Why wouldn’t they?” you countered and he scoffed.

“I can think of a few–”

“You never know if you don’t try,” you told him and raised your hand to brush a stray hair off his forehead. “I’m rooting for you.”

As your words faded into the night and your eyes met, you wondered if he could feel the sparks flying and bursting all around you as well. Did he also feel that overwhelming adoration for you? 

He sighed after a while, a bashful smile on his face. “You must be tired. It’s been a long night. Go to sleep.”

“I really should,” you yawned as if on cue. You shared a laugh at the timing.

He squeezed your hand one last time. “Well, good night then. I expect I’ll find you at my apartment in the morning–”

“Or you could stay here and we don’t have to worry about that,” you blurted without thinking. Your face flashed hot right after. 

Had there been any alcohol in that cake he bought for you? Why were you feeling so bold all of a sudden? 

“I–” He seemed speechless.

“I don’t know why I said that,” you rushed out and avoided his eyes. “I think I’m just really tired and work has been stressful and maybe my brain is just broke–”

He placed his hand behind your neck and led your head to rest against his chest as he rubbed comforting circles on your back. You could hear his body rumble with laughter as he held you. “I’d love to stay over. Besides,” he pushed you away just enough to look you in the eyes again, “I think it’s only fair that I get to sleep over this once, because you sleep over at my place a lot.”

You frowned and pouted. “It’s not like I mean to–”

“A lot,” he repeated with wide eyes and a teasing smile before pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. “But it’s okay. I don’t mind.”

When you recounted the half-embarrassing and yet half-lovestruck happenings of the previous night to Sunny on the way back from work, she stared at you in bafflement.

“You actually asked him to sleep over?” she gasped, hand over her heart as if she was a peasant woman of the 16th century hearing the most scandalous gossip. “You little vixen!”

“Nothing happened,” you insistently told her as the two of you stepped off the bus.

She huffed. “That’s honestly so boring. I mean, have you seen that man? What I wouldn’t give to–”

“I am once again reminding you that you already have a boyfriend.”

“You don’t know what we’re into in the bedroom,” she countered with a smirk.

You only now realised how much Jeonghan was rubbing off on her. She was becoming a second him, slowly but surely. Couple of the year.

“I’m taking away your friend privileges, Sunny,” you told her at that and rushed ahead to avoid hearing any more weirdly Jeonghan-like jokes from her. 

She laughed at that before running after you. “Okay, okay, no more dirty jokes.”

“Thank god,” you sighed towards the sky.

“So, did any sleepwalking occur?” she then asked before humming in thought. “Well, I imagine if it had, I would’ve heard about it by now. It would’ve been quite a sight to see Seokmin running after an asleep you towards his apartment at 2 am.”

“I didn’t sleepwalk.” 

And frankly, if you had, Seokmin must have done a very good job of getting you back to your own bed because you woke up exactly how and where you fell asleep – wrapped in his arms, head resting in the crook of his neck. 

Sunny suddenly stopped in spot. Her eyes wide, her lips parted. She pointed an accusatory finger at you, “Wait, does that mean you two are dating now?”

You weren’t sure you had the answer. And you wouldn’t have time to find the answer for a while.

“Good morning!” you heard Seokmin’s voice before you even opened your eyes.

Unlike the previous few times, disappointment filled you as realisation hit. You groaned and turned over to bury your face in his numerous pillows, hoping you could suffocate yourself out of a mildly infuriating nightmare.

Seokmin clicked his tongue. “Not quite the greeting I was expecting, especially considering I was greeted with a hug the last time we shared a bed.”

“Shut it.”

“Oh, you’re mean today.”

“Did I fall asleep mid-work again?” you sighed and slowly sat up to glare at nothing in particular. Seokmin went to great lengths to avoid whatever direction to directed your deadly look to. “God, I bet I didn’t even make it to the second graph– I’m not gonna have time to go to the office for work today.”

He stared at you curiously. “So, work from home? I mean, if you have the possibility.”

“Yeah, but then I’ll get distracted and then I still won’t end up doing anything,” you whined before falling back into the pillows. You wanted to cry just at the thought of that stupid report waiting on your idle laptop. 

“Why are you so stressed about this report anyway? I don’t think you were ever this upset over any other reports.”

“If this project report goes through, and we pull off this project – which I still have to plan, oh my god, I am so far behind–”

Seokmin laughed at your frantic movements and moved over to place his hands on your shoulders and keep you still. “Hey, hey, don’t get distracted. If the project goes through…?”

You took a deep breath. “If the project goes well, I will get a promotion. Less hours, better pay.” You sighed. “Then maybe I’ll be able to get a dog like I’ve always wanted.”

“That sounds wonderful! We should celebrate with breakfast,” he suggested with a wiggle of his eyebrows. 

But as tempting as it sounded, you simply didn’t have any time to chat. You had work to do. And so, you stood up, fixed your hair, gave Seokmin an affectionate yet half-hearted pat on the back and headed for the door. 

You couldn’t wait to spend your day in complete lonely misery. At work you at least had friends to talk between sections. All you had in your apartment was Bertha and instant coffee.

And it was as if Seokmin knew it just from the way you spoke to him that morning. 

When the clock struck twelve, you heard a timid knock on your door. Confused at the noise and a little disoriented from the five pages of words you had written, you stood up and went to the door. 

Your heart grew three sizes when you saw him standing there, looking so awfully huggable in his large white hoodie and grey sweatpants, glasses on his nose accompanied by a kind smile. You were so surprised to find him there that you failed to consider why he came. 

He had to nudge you with the plastic bag he was holding for you to even notice it.

“Sorry,” you stammered and stepped aside to let him in, “I’m just a little-”

“Stress? Overworked? Confused because you’ve been staring at a 15-inch screen for the past three hours?” he suggested and brought the bag to the kitchen. “That’s okay. Don’t even mind me.” He smiled as he nodded towards your laptop. “Go on. Work waits. The sooner you get to it, the sooner it’ll be done.”

Disoriented as you were, you didn’t dare argue and slowly walked back to your previous seat at the coffee table, all the while watching him cautiously. 

As your fingers landed on the keyboard, he began lifting things out of the bag. You watched in awe as he stacked snacks and vegetables onto the counter. 

Feeling your eyes on him, he lifted his head to glare at you. “Work.”

“Work,” you repeated on instinct and turned back to your laptop. He laughed a little at your robotic tone. 

Some 20 minutes later, you felt a presence next to you. When you turned to face it, Seokmin was holding an fruit slice up at your lips. 

“Eat,” he told you softly. You did as told.

“What are you doing?” you asked between confused laughter and chewing. Your eyes landed on the bowl of fruits he had placed in front of you. 

He shrugged. “Taking care of you. You seemed so upset this morning… I thought it would be nice to spend my free day helping you.”

Your eyes widened. “It’s your free day? And you’re here? You should be resting!”

“Watching you is all the rest I need,” he winked playfully before lifting another fruit to your lips. “Now, eat up. This is lunch. I’ll make something better for dinner.”

“You don’t have to–” 

He took this chance to shove a piece of apple into your mouth, effectively interrupting your speech. “I will, and I don’t care what you say.”

He glanced around the apartment as you began to eat the fruits on your own. “When was the last time you opened a window?”

You watched curiously as he stood up (with a groan because his bones simply weren’t as nimble as they used to be) and headed over to the windows, opening a few to air out the room. As he did so, he told you, “They say that good airflow and fresh air help the thought process. We air out the classrooms between every lesson so the next students won’t get too tired.”

“I don’t think I’ve opened any windows in here since I first moved in,” you confessed before turning back to your laptop. Before you could your train of thought again, a soft fabric was placed on your shoulders. You looked up to find him smiling at you brightly. “So you won’t get cold.”

“What about you then?”

He shrugged and winked. “I’ll just consider this my daily walk in the park.” He then looked around the apartment again, as if looking for something to do. You couldn’t help but find it endearing. 

“Maybe… you could… make me a cup of tea?” you suggested.

He lit up at the idea. “Coming right up!”

Before heading to the kitchen, he leaned down to press a kiss to your forehead. It seemed almost like a reflex – like he didn’t even need to think about doing it. 

Relishing in the leftover warmth of his lips and the feel of his hoodie on your skin, your work took a backseat for a while. Instead of thinking about your project of a lifetime, your brain was drowning in one singular question. You glanced towards the kitchen to watch him, a smile appearing on your face as you did. 

“Seokmin?” you called out softly after a moment. 

He hummed in response immediately, eyes lifting from the cup he was preparing so he could offer you an encouraging smile. 

You took a deep breath. “What are we?”

He paused. “What do you mean?”

“You and I. What are we to each other?” you wondered, unable to look away from him. There was something you badly wanted to hear him say and yet feared at the same time. “What are you to me?”

The corners of his lips twitched. “I… I’ll be whatever you’d like me to be.”

“Whatever? A friend?”

“If that’s what you wish,” he breathed out, a little shakier than before.

“What about a lover?”

He smiled. “If you so wish.”

“Then… what do you want me to be?” you asked him quietly, a part of you praying your words would go missing in the incoming wind before they reached him. 

“I just…” He bit his lip in contemplation, ears turning red, and avoided your eyes.

“What do you want me to be to you, Seokmin?” you repeated your question, a little bolder this time, hope sparking in your heart.

He looked up again, into your eyes. “Mine.” You let out a breath – of relief or fear, you weren’t sure – but he didn’t hesitate when he repeated, “I want you to be mine.”

You felt guilty for the words you’d utter next. “But we don’t have the time for that…”

“That’s okay,” he assured you with a kind smile. “We’ll take it slow.”

“Slow? How slow do we take it?”

“As slow as you need. I’m not leaving.”

“I signed up for the auditions,” he told you over breakfast a few days later. “Jihoon’s helping me prepare.”

You were still neck-deep in your project, struggling to meet the deadlines and coordinate your team. This seemed to lead the asleep you to Seokmin’s apartment more often than not. It was almost like you woke up in his bed every morning now. 

But even in your despair, you couldn’t help but be excited for Seokmin.

Your eyes lit up and a squeal came out as you grabbed his hand over the table. “Really? You did?!”

He used his free hand to rub the back of his neck bashfully. “Well, you said I should give it a try, right? Who knows,” he shrugged, trying his best to seem nonchalant or even fake a little bit of confidence, “maybe they’ll give me a part.”

“I’m sure they will,” you insisted, squeezing his hand. “Your voice is amazing and you’re so handsome – the ladies are going to swoon when they see you on the stage.”

He laughed. “Will you be one of those ladies?”

“I’ll be in the front row,” you solemnly promised. “At every show. You’ll get sick of seeing me.”

“I could never,” he assured you.

Seokmin’s audition would take place two weeks later. You made sure the mark the day with a big red circle on your calendar – on all three of them, in fact. And now it was time.

Between your seemingly endless stream of project complications and Seokmin’s daytime job and audition preparations, you barely saw him. If it weren’t for your persistent sleepwalking problem, you wouldn’t have seen him at all. And so, the curse had became a blessing. 

“You’ll do great,” you assured him minutes after waking up in his bed. You made sure to give him the warmest hug before letting him leave the room. “I believe in you. And so does Jihoon, apparently.”

Seokmin pouted. “Did he say that or are you lying to make me feel better?”

“We talked yesterday,” you told him, appalled that he’d even accuse you of such atrocities. “He said he has complete faith that you’ll do well.”

“I don’t believe you but–”

“Do you want to fight me? Already?” You raised a brow and he shook his head immediately. “Exactly. Just accept the compliment. And don’t forget to call me when you finish, okay?”

“Of course,” he promised.

He kept that promise. Just as he stepped out of the theatre, his shaky hands picked up the phone and chose your number. 

You answered the call with prep in your voice. It had been a good day so far and you were expecting to hear his no-doubt joyous retellings of the audition.

What you weren’t expecting was: “Can you come get me? I think I might cry.”

“Why, why?” Despite your words, you didn’t hesitate to slam your laptop closed and grab your jacket. “Are you okay? Were they mean?”

“They weren’t mean,” he mumbled on the other side of the line, “but I don’t think I did well.”

“I’m sure you did wonderful,” you spoke while rushing down the street. Thankfully, the theatre was barely a five-minute walk from your office – half that at your current pace. “You’re just putting yourself down over nothing.”

Seokmin whined. “You’re seriously overestimating me.”

“Don’t be silly.”

“No, I’m serious. You overestimate me.”

As you crossed the street, you noticed a familiar figure dragging his feet along the pavement, head low and shoulders slumped. “Now why would I do that?”

“Because you like me a little more than you should,” he suggested while kicking a pebble. You could already hear his voice even without the phone. “I’m sure the directors think I’m a joke or something. God, I am so–”

“Don’t you dare say another bad word about yourself,” you scolded him with a gentle slap against the back of his head. 

He stared at you in bewilderment – both from the fact that you might as well have appeared from thin air and the fact that you just did that. 

But you were unrelenting in your affection for him. “Lee Seokmin, listen to me: you did absolutely great. You did your best. And even if you don’t get a part this time, they’ll value the fact that you now have experience with auditions. Take it in stride.”

Tears gathered in his eyes. Before long, he pulled you into his embrace, holding you impossibly tight. “You’re just saying that… Thank you.”

“That’s what I’m here for, silly,” you laughed and hugged him back just as tightly. “I think we should celebrate this occasion.”

“Even if I screwed up and don’t get the part?”

You scoffed. “Absolutely! A little cake can make everything better, no?”

He sighed. “I don’t think I can eat right now. I might throw up from the nerves.”

“Drink then?”

He contemplated and then straightened up. “I could go for some bubble tea…”

“There we go!” you cheered and gently pinched his cheeks, prompting a small giggle. “My treat because you did so well today and I’m so proud of you.”

This time it was you who grabbed his hand without any hesitation, more than happy to reassuringly squeeze it as you walked and talked. 

“When will you get the answer?” you wondered.

He sucked in a breath. “In about a week, they said. Or maybe never–”

“Seokmin,” you scolded.

“In a week,” he corrected himself with some enthusiasm. “I’ll get answers in a week. And then I might actually cry.”

“And I’ll be there when you cry tears of joy, darling.”

“Tears of joy?” He raised a brow and smiled in disbelief. “You seriously put too much faith in me.”

You nudged his side. “As if you haven’t been equally supportive about my promotion.”

“Oh, right,” Seokmin gasped, “won’t your promotion interview be in a week too?”

You would’ve preferred he didn’t remind you. Then again, you guessed it was only fair. 

“Will you come over to hold me when I cry too?”

“Tears of joy?” he teased and leaned over to kiss your temple. “I’ll be just a call away.”

The week somehow passed at both the pace of a snail and the pace of Junhui on a sugar rush. 

After finding you in his bed every single morning, Seokmin resorted to just sleeping over at your place, tightly cuddling you to keep you in place. He now had a whole drawer dedicated to his things in your bedroom. 

The day started okay. You were awoken not by a loud alarm like you had expected, but by Seokmin gently singing you awake. 

For a moment, you thought you had died and gone straight to heaven – maybe working so hard to save the environment had paid off after all, you thought. But no, it was just your reality. 

What a beautiful reality. You couldn’t help but smile as you cuddled into his chest.

“If you keep clinging onto me like that, I won’t be able to make my famous waffles for a lucky breakfast,” he whispered but made no attempt to push you away. 

The delicious breakfast was followed by an encouraging hug on the way out of the building, him to the school and you to the office. You wore a smile the entire time.

Up until you made it to your desk. Then the reality began sinking in. 

This was the day that could make or break your career. The day you had worked so hard for that you neglected your private life for so many years.

As the clock on the wall slowly ticked forward, your hands began to shake. Your throat was dry. Your head was fuzzy, full of nothing but anxiety. If someone had asked you about anything, you would’ve only been able to stare at them with a mouth wide open.

20 minutes until your scheduled interview. You were starting to feel sick. 

When another colleague came to give you a supportive pat on the back, you excused yourself and grabbed your phone to rush outside to the balcony. You sat on a chair and willed yourself to take deep breaths as you tapped on his number.

You wanted to slap yourself when you realised that you hadn’t even bothered to check if he was on break yet.

But he answered on the first ring. “Hey, what’s up? Did you have the interview alread–”

“Seokmin, I can’t do this,” you whimpered into the microphone. “I can’t do this. They’re gonna realise I’m an idiot and they’ll fire me and–”

“Woah, woah, what happened to your positive can-do attitude?” he wondered. “You’ll be fine.”

“No–”

“(Y/n),” he said your voice so firmly that your breath got caught in your throat. “(Y/n), you will be fine. You’ve worked there for so many years, you’ve achieved so many things. If they wanted to fire you, they would’ve done that by now.”

You took a shaky breath. “What if it’s an elaborate prank?”

“Why would– Baby, listen to me. You’ve worked hard. You put everything you had into that project – I was there, I saw it. You and your ideas are invaluable to your company. They’re going to ask you a few questions as a formality and they’re going to give that promotion and then you and I are going to go to a celebratory dinner and it’ll all be over.”

“And I can get a dog?” you whispered, a small smile tugging at your lips.

“You can get two dogs if you want, baby,” he laughed. “You deserve it. Don’t underestimate yourself. I believe in you and I’m sure your co-workers do as well.”

“How do you always know the right words to say?”

He laughed once again. “Baby, I’m a teacher. I’m literally trained to comfort people. I’m just glad I’m able to comfort you as well.”

“Thank you.”

“No need,” he responded, “just go and ace that interview. Okay?”

“And then you’ll come and wipe my happy tears?”

“You already know the answer to that question. But I expect the same treatment when I get my audition results.”

“Will do.”

“Go and get them, tiger.”

You weren’t sure what it was, but something about the conversation seemed to have lifted the weight off your shoulders. When you walked back to the office, the upcoming interview no longer felt as taunting. 

As the clock hit 2 pm, you squared your shoulders, took a deep breath and headed to your manager’s office.

When the day ended, you found Seokmin standing in front of the office building, a blinding smile on his face. 

“Well?” he asked expectantly, though the look in his eyes said that he had every faith that you would only give him good news. You were glad to prove him right. 

Your coy smile was replaced with joyous laughter as you ran to hug him and called out, “I got the job!”

“You got it? You got it!” he cheered with you, jumping up and down with you in his arms, not far from spinning you around in the air. “I knew you would! What did I tell you? Silly you,” he let you out of his hold to place his hands on your cheeks and pull your face closer to his own, “you thought you wouldn’t get the promotion. Look at you now. I’m so proud of you.”

You breathed out in relief. The smile seemed to never stop tugging on your cheeks. “I’m so relieved I could cry.”

“Then who will dry my happy tears?” he teased with a bright smile.

You tilted your head in confusion. “Wait–”

“I got the part,” he whispered, his smile only growing wider, eyes sparkling. “I’m going to become a musical actor, officially.”

“Oh my god!” you practically squealed and now it was your turn to hug him and jump. He was glad to join you, laughing in glee. “I knew you could do it! I knew it!”

As joy got the best of you – and who could blame you: this was the happiest day of your life so far –, you grabbed his face and pulled him closer to you to press your lips against his own. He melted into the gesture, arms wrapping around you tighter as if to will the moment to last forever. 

When you pulled back, just enough so that your noses touched, he laughed in disbelief. “I thought we were supposed to take it slow?”

“Screw taking it slow,” you whispered and kissed him again. “Might as well make it a triple celebration.”

“I like the sound of that.”

BONUS !

While practically leaning out of their open window to watch you and Seokmin kiss under the streetlights on your way home, Jeonghan and Sunny argued.

“I told you they would get together,” Sunny declared, her eyebrows raised as if to dare her boyfriend to prove her wrong. 

Jeonghan scoffed. “Please. They’re just kissing. It could be casual.”

“Just say you don’t want to owe me 20 bucks.”

“I don’t owe you 20 bucks! We have no confirmation!”

“Jeonghan, listen here–”

“No, no, you listen–”

“Both of you listen here!” Chan bellowed from the window above them. “If you don’t stop arguing right now, I will report you both to Jihoon’s parents! Some of us are trying to sleep!” Silence followed. “And pay her the 20 bucks, Jeonghan. They’re clearly together.”

Jeonghan grumbled and glared upwards before fishing a 20 out of his pocket and handing it to his smiling girlfriend.

[ryuryuryuyurboat]

RIRI. i SPECIFICALLY said no lyney angst. ever. for as long as your tumblr shall live. the little pookie wookie cutie sunshine munchkin muffin bear is in love with us returns our love do you understand😡 for legal reasons and so that i dont get judged hard by the people behind me on the train this is purely a joke. but you know WHAT ISNT A JOKE RIRI IT'S MY HEART SHATTERING. absolutely unbelievable. i demand compensation. fluff where lyney accepts confession. and an apology letter. 500 words. (hugs u)

i hate that i know EXACTLY who you are. what's with the hug did you burn the kitchen down again– anyway, here's my apology. love u!

last kiss

synopsis: if you go, can i go with you? if you leave me, can i leave me too?

genre: angst. no comfort.

characters: wanderer x gn! reader

warnings: established relationship, reader referred to in 2nd pov, written from wanderer's pov, mentions of wanderer’s birth name, reader gets amnesia, wanderer a little ooc maybe

a/n: i spent so long writing and re-writing this i will actually cry if people don't like this (no pressure though) mwah :3 likes, reblogs and comments highly appreciated!! it helps a lot :>

©2023 ryuryuryuyurboat. do not repost, translate, plagiarise, or modify in any way, shape or form.

masterlist

he remembers.

kunikuzushi remembers your first meeting, clear as day. the wonder in your irises as you reach out for his hand, the way you cupped his porcelain face in your hands, running your hands through his indigo locks. he remembers when he accidentally let his feelings slip, freezing up in fear of your reaction– he remembers your light laugh, leaning in to press a chaste kiss to his forehead. 

the balladeer remembers your disappointed look when he comes home to tell you he’s made his decision. you turn and go straight into the kitchen without another word, and the weight of silence has never been so heavy. and yet, as you set the table for dinner, you ask when the ship for snezhnaya will leave. he remembers all too well how you stopped right before boarding the ship, turned back to glare at him, and say your decision to follow him still didn’t mean you agreed with his. and when he fell from the shouki no kami after failing to replace lesser lord kusanali as sumeru’s god, he remembers you rushing forward to try and catch him in your arms to soften the impact.

the wanderer remembers those 2am walks to puspa café, pinkie linked with yours, because you craved some hot food and didn’t want it home-cooked. he remembers those cold nights with you– the rain’s symphony muffled in the background as you move in closer to embrace him tighter under the shared covers, him reluctantly humming you back to sleep. 

he remembers that time you got abducted by fatui agents– any mere mortal would have gone insane from their cruel treatment, and yet, you became the one driving your abductors nuts. he found you with your back facing him as you wield your sword, your chest heaving as you take deep breaths. he remembers how he couldn’t help but let a tear slip as he runs forward to hold you tight, murmuring apologies into the crook of your neck, all the while wondering where you got that much strength from. and he remembers the way you turned around to embrace him, a rare fire in your eyes as you told him those words he wishes he could have imprinted on his skin: “i’m your heart after all, aren’t i? i can’t just go dying on you when you’re not ready to go!”

the wanderer still remembers that promise you once made at 1:58am in the morning, that sweet moment you both shared, the moon being the only witness to your soft declaration of love.

the wanderer remembers that fateful day he found you unconscious in a withering zone, your body bruised and battered— presumably from fighting enemies. he’s grumbling all the way home with you in his arms about how clumsy and bothersome you are, even as he gently cleans your face from the dirt. he refuses to leave your bedside for a single second in fear that you might awake all alone. but he was the one left all alone.

he hates it.

he hates that he remembers.

and you don’t.

he hates seeing that blank stare you give him as you tell him you have no idea what he’s harping on about. he hates that even after months and months of trying, even with lesser lord kusanali’s advice, you still remember nothing. he especially hates that apologetic smile you gave him as you tell him you don’t love him back. because you did. once. and you made a promise never to leave his side as long as your heart beat. once. 

but you don’t remember, do you?

your explanation that you don’t want to continue leading him on because you just don’t feel the same completely shatters him. he has no right to force you to stay, either. not after everything you did for him. but he’s always been selfish, hasn’t he? so he asks you. he asks you for one last kiss so he can keep you in his fond memories. your eyes soften as you mutter an “oh, kuni.” (he insisted you stick to the name that always hung on your lips.) he tries not to show any emotion as you pull him into a tight hug, pressing your lips to his forehead. he tries to smile as he waves you goodbye, because he wants your last memory of him to be a good one. and he tries damn hard not to cry as he slides down the now-closed door of the house you once shared, head in his hands, knowing you’ve forgotten everything as easily as you breathed.

you’re his fourth betrayal. he hates that he has to remember that for the rest of his sorry, miserable life.

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[fauville]

fandom: the wayhaven chronicles rating: general pairing: nate sewell/female detective (charlie langford)

i'm so embarrassed because of how self indulgent this fic is, but people wanted me to post it soooooo. i think about dad!nate a lot, so maybe i will write more about it at some point!

★ ★ ★

Charlie is frowning at the inadequate selection of apples at the marketplace, her hand resting on her belly over her chiffon summer dress when she hears Nate calling her name in the crowd.

She turns around with an exasperated sigh, a half-smile on her face and scans the mass of people for her husband, but Nate must be somewhere further in the crowd, because she can't see his towering frame anywhere near her. But he will find her soon enough.

She left him at the book stall where he was distracted enough for her to slip away for a moment. She intendented to go back to him before he noticed her disappearance, but she got hungry and left to find a snack at the food section of the market.

The owner of the fruit stall is glaring at her, so Charlie quickly points out the most juicy looking apple and pays for it, before Nate appears from the crowd with a worried frown on his brow.

For a moment Charlie just stares at him; she will never get used to how attractive he is and they've known each other for three years. His hair is tied up in a knot and he's wearing a pure white t-shirt and jean shorts. He kind of looks like a dad.

Which is lucky because he will be one soon.

“Charlotte!” Nate says, when he reaches her and immediately pulls her into a loving hug. “You're alright.”

Charlie can't help the snort that she lets out. “Yes, I am. I'm not lying dead in a ditch somewhere, don't you worry, dearest.”

Nate scowls. “Don't even joke about that,” he says and lays a protective hand on her stomach.

Charlie chuckles and covers Nate's hand with her own, patting it reassuringly. “I was gone for ten minutes,” she says gently.

“Fifteen,” Nate huffs and shakes his head. “That’s fifteen too many.”

“I'm pretty sure we're safe enough at the moment,” Charlie points out, when Nate bends down to kiss her forehead, cradling her closer to him.

“Maybe,” Nate admits a little reluctantly. He takes Charlie's hands to his own, rubbing a thumb against her knuckle. “But I would still prefer you would remain close by.”

“You know I can take care of myself,” Charlie reminds him, but her tone comes out mostly fond instead of firm like she attempted. This is a conversation they’ve had for countless of times in the last six months, but so far nothing has changed.

Nate starts leading her away from the crowd and Charlie bites into the apple she bought earlier. It’s dry and sour and she grimaces after the first taste.

“I know,” Nate says, so softly Charlie can barely hear it through all the noise around them. “But I can't help but worry.”

He stops walking and spins around to look at her properly and takes her hands, the bitten apple rolling from her hand on to the stone paving. There's something in his gaze Charlie can’t read. Something desperate and insurmountable.

“You're carrying my child,” he says. “Our child. That means I can barely think beyond the worry I constantly feel when you're not near. I'm so afraid of losing you both that it's almost making me lose my sanity and all reason.”

Charlie swallows. She can feel her eyes starting to water. Damn pregnancy hormones. “Nate…”

“I know,” Nate murmurs before she can open her mouth, smiling softly down at her, pressing a kiss to their linked hands. “I will work on it. I promise.”

Charlie nods, something inside her chest soaring. “Thank you,” she answers, because she knows that Nate means it and that’s enough for her.

Then she looks sadly at the dropped apple on the ground. It may have been dry and sour, but she’s still hungry like… well, a woman who’s eating for two.

“I'm hungry,” Charlie says and Nate laughs so loudly a few people close to them flinch and give him the dirty eye. He throws them a sheepish smile and gets a few starstruck looks back, which makes Charlie roll her eyes affectionately.

“Let's go home, ya rouhi,” he replies, guiding her towards the car. “I'll cook.”

[paganwitchisis]

"The Unexpected Adventure" Chapter 3

Chapter 3: Surprise!  

Word Count: 5,419

Rated: Explicit

RATED 18 PLUS!!!

Warnings: Smut, Smut and fluff, body swap, brief snippet of violence (fight), unknown pregnacy, protective and soft Astarion, blood (drinking)

Chapter two - here!

This is Chapter 3

Chapter four - here

AO3 link is here!

There is smut in this chapter!

Note: I apologize for the delay. My health came up with some complications which delayed this chapter

Tav was joking, but she could tell that Astarion contemplated the idea.

“I would say yes, but you need to eat. A little of my blood isn’t enough, my dear, so you’re going to have to hunt. I’ll help...no worries, because I will be with you.” Astarion added the last part after seeing Tav’s reluctance and fear to hunt cross her face.

“But I can’t be quiet to save my life.”

“I can teach you.” Astarion replied, but Tav merely laughed.

“You’re better off trying to teach Mol not to steal. I hang back on stealth missions for a reason. Until you clear them, I am a liability. I don’t want you hurt.”

Astarion brought his hand up to Tav’s face and kissed her. “You won’t hurt me. I promise. Just give it a try.”

Tav hesitantly nodded and began getting dressed after helping Astarion clean up from their escapades. Tav and Astarion got ready, still kissing and giving occasional touches as they did so. Astarion, in the end, needed help with the clasps of her armor, and so Tav strapped it on while Astarion helped Tav figure out which dagger went where. Both may be proficient with taking armor off, but were woefully unprepared when it came to putting it on.

Eventually, the couple left their room, and headed outside to find that night had already fallen on Baldur’s Gate. Under the suggestion of Astarion, Tav made her way to Rivington and was amazed by the range of vision she had in the dark. Tav never had Darkvision the way Astarion did, and so she was surprised when she left the Elfsong that she was able to navigate to Rivington as if it was the day itself. Astarion, on the other hand, cursed himself. Astarion wasn’t used to the opposite effect that he had and relied on Tav heavily to make his way out of the city. Thankfully, the city had lights on many of the streets but not all streets had that feature. This made things complicated and made Astarion wonder ‘what else would be different’?

The trade-off was fair, Astarion mused, as he now had a beating heart and natural body heat. He no longer starved constantly, and he could enjoy real food for the first time in over two centuries. Of course, when Astarion brought up how remorseful he was that Tav would be suffering, Tav listened to him and acknowledged that although it was a change, she was happy to do it. It wasn’t like she had a choice in who the book targeted, but she was happy it was her, as she would do anything for the man she loved. Just to give him a brief respite, something Tav wished she could do any time, but for the duration of the spell the book had cast, Tav would grin and bear the consequences. She was happy to give him a small measure of happiness.

What Tav wasn’t fully aware about was that she was the source of his happiness, not some spell or a beating heart, although those were nice. The woman who opened her heart for a vampire and treated him like a person, an equal, made all the difference to the man. She dealt with his bad days and celebrated his good days, she listened, she cared, and she loved him unashamed. On the contrary, she was proud of him!

Without realizing it, Tav, holding Astarion’s hand, had crossed the boundary into Rivington and headed towards the woods.

“Darling, since it is your first hunt, it may be best to focus on smaller prey. Bunnies and squirrels, for instance. They’re still slippery creatures, so you’ll have to keep your cool and focus on where they will be, not where they are.”

“This may be my first time as a vampire, Star, but this isn’t my first time hunting.”

“Whatever you say, my love. Keep in mind that in the worst case scenario, I am here.”

“And how would you help? You can’t lift my sword and I have your daggers?” Tav inquired curiously.

“If the dark vision and my dexterity are anything to go with, I should be proficient with your sword and you with my daggers.” Astarion theorized as they trekked deeper and deeper into the forest. Astarion stopped Tav, let go of her hand, and began instructing Tav how best to walk without alerting others. It took some time but Tav eventually got part of it down, and for small prey, Astarion was content to let her do her thing.

“I’ll wait here, but if you find something you cannot fight, run. I mean it, dear, I don’t want you playing hero.” Astarion kissed Tav briefly and watched as best he could as Tav stalked off into the forest.

After about twenty minutes, Astarion was sitting on a log when he heard the crunch of a twig and the rustle of leaves.

“Back already? Find anything good?” Astarion asked out to the darkness and grew a little concerned when his questions were met with silence. One moment passed, then two, before Astarion heard the tell-tale sound of a bear growl.

“I’m guessing you’re not Halsin…”

Meanwhile, Tav had also heard this growl as she had gotten herself lost shortly after leaving her lover. Turning her head, Tav not only was surprised that she could smell and tell the beast was a bear, but that she could also hear the thud of a heartbeat not far from the creature’s space. Tav didn’t have to be told who that was and if they were in danger. She somehow knew. Tav sprinted back, not caring if she made any noise, and was also surprised that she, in a fit of panic, made little to no noise. It was like instinct was taking over.

By the time she got there, she could smell blood, her blood (or in this case, her lover’s). Following the smell, Tav found Astarion holding his shoulder and the grizzly bear, a mammoth of a specimen, cornering him. Astarion’s sword was laying a few yards to the side in what looked like an attempt to defend himself. Tav wasn't sure what took over her but she followed that instinctual spell she was under and leapt on the back of the grizzly bear who was turned away from her.

She wasn’t sure where her next moves came from, but she grabbed the bear’s head, yanked it by the fur to expose its neck and sunk her teeth in deep. The fur tickled her nose, but she was unconcerned by this. Instead, she focused on locking her legs around the bear the best she could and drinking the hot liquid that gushed to the back of her throat. The bear tried to thrash and buck her off, Astarion all but forgotten during this interaction. Tav held tight and kept drinking until the bear fell forward, dead.

Astarion watched in awe as everything occurred. Once Tav finished with the bear, she pulled back and wiped her mouth of the copious amount of blood soaking her clothing and face.

“Damn, you look hot. Want to go back to the tavern and go again?” Astarion was mostly joking, but would be lying if he didn’t feel a need and a want for the woman who just saved his life. She not only saved it, she was covered in the bear’s blood, and this turned Astarion on more than he admitted.

“We should bring him back to the tavern. Maybe Gale can make some kind of stew from him.” Tav replied, choosing not to answer Astarion’s suggestion. Tav took a step towards Astarion and tossed him a healing potion before she couldn’t contain herself and tried to drink from her lover once again. Astarion drank the potion and grabbed his sword off the ground before Tav took his hand and began trying to drag the bear out. Astarion stopped her first.

“You hunted before, right? We’re better off cutting the meat here. It isn’t as messy that way, and a hell of a lot lighter.”

Tav sighed and acknowledged he was right before they got to work.

“I never said I cleaned it, just gave the killing blow.” Tav admitted. About half an hour later, Tav now knew how to skin, clean and cut the bear meat thanks to Astarion who surprisingly knew how. When asked about it, Astarion said he was tasked to hunt occasionally by Cazador. He wasnt allowed the blood but the kitchens would ask for gamy meat. This left Astarion and his siblings with the task of hunting a different kind of mark. Usually these requests were at the behest of a noble or someone Cazador wished to curry favor but this helped teach a few valuable lessons to Astarion he could pass on.  

The next morning, the pair laid in bed sore and sated from a night of debauchery. It started with a bath and cleaning their armor but quickly devolved into something more when Astarion couldn’t keep his hands to himself. Tav and Astarion started out kissing and deeply taking each other until their lips were bruised before the pair ended up not getting rest at all. The room smelled heavily of sex and sweat, their clothes strewn to the floor. Astarion laid there snoring softly while Tav remained awake. Her new four hour trance cycle kept her up so she read and cuddled with her significant other.

That was until a soft knock came at the door.

Tav pulled away and offered Astarion her pillow to compensate for her leaving the bed. Surprisingly, it worked. In the past, Astarion would have woken up right away if he felt her leave, but then again, they both were fairly vigorous the prior night. Tav quickly and as quietly as possible got dressed in the right clothes. She almost attempted to put on her usual clothing before she remembered that she was borrowing Astarion’s body. Tav was able to open the door and slip out into the hallway only to run into Gale.

“Oh, hello, Astarion. I mean Tav.” Gale quickly corrected himself. “Smells like you and Astarion were...um...lively. That explains why you both bailed on us yesterday”

“Yeah, sorry about that. We were...experimenting with a few theories”

“You both have huh? Any solid leads?” Gale joked and smiled at Tav which was an odd sight considering Gale and Astarion (or rather Tav in Astarion’s body) rarely were so friendly.

 “All were a bust. We may have to go back to square one.” Tav chuckled and smiled back.

“Well, good thing for you, I found a reversal. One that will fix the issue tomorrow night, assuming we can get the right items today. You see, the person who has the book, I need may part with it because of our situation, but he isn’t known to be altruistic. He always has a price. Always. I plan to have contingencies in case his demands are…unreasonable. I was wondering if you both wanted to come with? You weren’t able to come with us yesterday, which led us to this lead, so I figured I’d offer you both the chance.” Gale sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck after his explanation while Tav shook her head.

“I’d consider it, except Astarion is still sleeping. I really am sorry we never got back to you yesterday. Everything was just so new, so different.”

“Hey, no need to explain that to me! I’ll follow up with a few of the others, you two have fun experimenting.” Gale smirked and left before Tav could say anything further.

Tav entered the room and got back into bed, accidentally waking Astarion who stretched when she attempted to sneak back into bed. Astarion propped one eye open and gave a rakish smile.

“How is my goddess?”

“Goddess? That’s a new one.” Tav kissed Astarion briefly on his forehead, her lover almost purred from the attention.

“The commonfolk should bow to you.” Astarion chuckled. “When I prayed to every deity, only the mindflayers plucked me from Cazador. Only you, however, saved me from him permanently. You’re a goddamn goddess.” Astarion leaned slightly so he could prop himself up on his arm and kissed Tav briefly.

“I am so grateful to have met you too. I don’t think I’m a goddess, but I feel honored regardless.” Tav said as she kissed him once again, her left hand on Astarion’s cheek and her right arm held herself up. “Oh! I almost forgot, Gale dropped by.”

“What did the wizard want?” Astarion asked, flopping himself back on the bed. Astarion didn’t hide himself as he lightly fondled his breasts. “Damn, are your breasts so sensitive.”

“That’s weird. Maybe my cycle is coming up.” Tav thought over the reasons. “Gale was here because he had a follow-up to their lead. We might be put into our appropriate bodies by tomorrow if we’re lucky.”

At this, Astarion looked equal parts terrified and disheartened. Tav wasnt sure what caused it, but she figured she would ask. It concerned her. She thought he would want to get back to his body, but she could see the appeal of their current arrangement.

“What’s wrong, honey?”

“It’s silly…” Astarion was going to try to turn to the other side of the bed when Tav stopped him. She placed her hand on his arm and got his attention as she sat on the edge of the bed facing him.

“It is not silly. Please talk to me.” Tav asked. Astarion sighed and turned to fully face her.

“First, having a period absolutely scares me. I’d rather help you through one instead of having it myself. I may...usually...be the vampire and think myself pretty strong, but you, my dear, are a beast. I don’t think I could handle your cycle.”

“I wish I could tell you when my cycle was, but since arriving in Baldur’s Gate, my cycle has stopped. Shadowheart says stress can make me irregular. Hopefully, we’ll be switched before it happens,” Tav stripped her shirt off followed by her pants before slipping underneath the bed covers. “And the second issue?”

“I feel absolutely spoiled being in your body, my love, and I was hoping for a little more time. You deserve to have your original body back, though.” Astarion tried to turn his head away from Tav in shame, but Tav wouldn’t let him.

“Oh, Astarion,” Tav cooed “It makes sense that you want to keep a living body. You haven’t had one in such a long time. You don’t have to worry about wanting that. I understand”

Astarion sighed and smiled slightly. Tav continued to speak.

“I’d love to let you hang out in my body for longer, but we have Gortash to worry about. He hasnt acted against us yet, but that doesn’t mean he won’t.”

Astarion nodded as she had a point and smiled genuinely. “I guess we have to make the most use of this time as we can, darling.”

“I agree with you, but we can’t stay holed up in this room forever. Why don’t we take a small stroll? Stretch our legs a bit.”

Astarion laughed “I’ve been stretched pretty good, if last night was any indication. I didn’t realize how thick I was, dear, but I know why you want me so much.” Astarion said with a wink and a goofy smile.

Tav brought her hand up to her forehead and placed her palm against her skin in exasperation. “I can say the same, you know.” Tav picked out some clothing and put it to the side as she filled the bathtub in the room. She wasn’t going to let Astarion run about outside in her body with come dripping down his thighs. She felt sweaty and grimy after last night as well. Thankfully, the room was equipped with a large tub, so the pair could take a bath together. “I know how much you love my breasts and ass.”

“Ah, but you don’t know my favorite part.” Astarion chided, swinging his legs out of bed and standing up to stretch.

“And what would that be?” Tav asked as she stripped her clothing to reveal Astarion’s perfect body. Astarion watched her and smiled.

“Gods, I’m beautiful.” Astarion muttered to himself but Tav heard him clear as day. “To answer your question, it is your thighs. They’re so soft, yet strong. I love biting them and caressing them. They hold my head up when I lay on your lap. That’s not to discount what is between them, of course. I love that, too, but your thighs are supple and oh so delicious.” Astarion walked over to the tub and removed his clothing as well, careful around her breasts as they were unusually tender.

Tav got in after Astarion and sunk into the hot water. The water warmed her skin and Tav found she missed her body more than she realized. Tav moaned as she sunk into the water, Astarion smiled and made his way next to her, kissing her shoulder and neck as he brought the sponge up to wash her aching muscles. Tav closed her eyes and enjoyed the feeling of him delicately washing her newly acquired body, but she couldn’t keep her eyes closed for long. Astarion made sure of that when he spoke.

“You need breakfast, my dear, if we are going anywhere. Bite me.”

Tav opened her eyes to see Astarion turned his head to the side and was presenting his neck to her. Tav could feel herself beginning to get hard at the thought of that sweet and velvety blood beneath the surface, but she had to confirm first.

“You realize what will happen, right? There is a chance I won’t be able to stop, and even if I do, I’ll be...wanting. I can try to figure out how you take care of yourself, I guess.”

“Just shut up and bite me. It will be okay.”

Tav licked her lips and kissed his neck a few times after a brief moment of hesitation. Tav sunk her teeth into the waiting flesh and felt the hot rich blood hit the back of her throat. Tav drank it greedily, but was startled when she felt Astarion begin to jerk her off. He would stroke her mast and twist near the blunted head of her cock. Astarion wasn’t teasing as he stroked her and was already pumping her length at a punishing pace. Tav couldn’t help the whimper that came out of her as she drank and was getting pleasured. Astarion gave a wide smile which looked a little odd on Tav’s body.

“I need to take you. Now!” Tav muttered against his flesh and Astarion dropped his smile into a lustful smirk.

“I was prepared to jerk you off, my love.” Astarion’s hand slowed to a stop as he spoke to Tav.

“I need more. Please let me taste you when you come!” Tav licked the wounds, sealing them, and licked her lips. “I can’t chance taking too much blood. Here.” Tav fished a scroll out of her bag that was next to the tub. Tav got out to grab it and when she handed it to Astarion, he noted the familiarity right away. It was a scroll of lesser restoration.

Astarion shook his head as he read the inscription, the words now memorized to him thanks to their adventure. Immediately, he felt relief and his strength return to him. Tav returned to the tub and sat near her lover. Astarion tossed the used parchment to the side and held Tav’s face dearly as he pressed his lips to hers...hard.

“I’m aching to have you inside me” Astarion huskily said as he gave her a moment to breathe. Astarion spread his legs and hooked one behind Tav’s back. Astarion went back to kissing Tav once again, the water sloshing around the tub as their bodies moved and melted against one another. Astarion cradled Tav’s head and locked his fingers in her (or rather his) silver locks of hair, his other hand hand snaked around Tav’s backside and slide deftly between her cheeks. Tav was startled at first but that changed when Astarion passionately locked his lips on his significant other’s. Astarion slipped his finger against Tav’s rear, circling the tight muscle but never entering her.

Tav pulled away from their dancing tongues and soft lips intertwined to speak “You’re teasing me. Please!”

“Water is a poor substitute for lubricating jelly, what do you say we take this outside the bath?”

“Yes! Please! I need you!” Tav reached down and cupped Astarion’s backside, lifting him up and out of the tub. This made Astarion yelp in surprise as usually he was the one doing such things but with the swapped situation, it took some getting used to. Tav dropped him on the bed as he searched for the jar they kept in the night stand.

“Come here.” Astarion whispered against Tav’s neck. Tav leaned over Astarion and kissed his ears, licking the helix or the shell of the ear. Astarion moaned deeply. Regardless of his race or gender, his ears still were sensitive to her pleasure. Astarion pulled away and put some of the lubrication on his fingers before he returned his Attention on Tav. He kissed her once more with passion. His tongue lid against hers and he savored the motion like he was sipping wine. Astarion reached around while she was distracted and surprised Tav with the cool jelly being pressed to her sphincter. Astarion knew that although his body was used to such actions, she was not, so he gently began working the muscle with one finger. Astarion slipped the finger in, earning a gasp from Tav followed by a moan. Astarion began pumping Tav’s cock in tandem to his finger’s actions inside her, soon Astarion added a second finger.

“S...Stop! I don’t want to come by your hands.”

Astarion immediately pulled away and used a rag on the side of the basin they were in to wipe his fingers of the jelly he had on him. Astarion sat down on the bed and wasn’t surprised when Tav pushed him back and spread his legs.

“We don’t have to if…” Tav began to speak when Astarion kissed her again, cutting her off. Astarion glided his tongue against hers as their kiss was more teeth and tongue than lips. Astarion was accidentally nipped by Tav’s fang and loved the moan Tav gave off from tasting his blood.

“I want this. I want you.” Astarion muttered. “Fuck me so good I can’t walk.”

“Happily.” Tav replied as she got back on the bed and crawled between his knees. Astarion felt her sultry look affect him down to his core. Astarion leaned up to kiss Tav again but felt Tav fondle his breast. Astarion moaned low in his stomach from the sensation and how sensitive his breasts were. Astarion tried once more to kiss Tav when Tav chuckled and began kissing as well as fondling his breasts, Tav dropped a hand lower still and began to circle lazy rotations around his clit. Astarion’s breath hitched as he rocked his hips forward, trying to chase the feeling of pure bliss between his legs. Astarion arched his back as the pleasure rolled through him and drove him on.

“Enough. Fuck me, love. No more foreplay, I need you!”

Tav smirked and moved up slightly so the tip of her cock rested at Astarion’s entrance. Tav moved her hand to her cock and lined herself up as she firmly gripped her undead flesh.

“Spread yourself wider, darling.” Tav jokingly used Astarion’s term of endearment. Astarion barked out a laugh and spread his legs as wide as they could go, this gave Tav a splendid and delicious view of his cunt. Tav was secretly happy she got a chance to see herself as Astarion did. Seeing her designer like labia and vagina made her feel like she had more to offer in terms of sex to Astarion (of course, she would never say that.)

Tav kept herself ready and when Astarion had exhaled and relaxed his body, Tav began to sink into the man inch by delicious inch. Astarion moaned until Tav reached the hilt. When Tav filled and stretched within, Astarion’s moan turned into a whimper.

Tav started at a punishing pace.

After waiting a moment for Astarion to adjust, Tav lifted his left leg and began rolling her hips in an angle. Tav rolled her hips fast and hard and slid her cock against the wet, hot sensitive muscles inside. Astarion panted when he wasn't kissing Tav, the sound of slapping skin and squelching occasionally permeated the room. They had only just started, and already Tav and Astarion were sweating. Astarion brought his hand to Tav’s face as she pounded into him, whimpers, moans and whines escaping his lips as the pressure built up inside of him. Astarion drew Tav closer and pressed Tav’s face even closer to his neck.

“Feed. Gods, please feed! It will feel so good.”

Astarion hooked his legs behind Tav’s hips and turned his head to give her better leverage. Astarion felt her sink her teeth in gently, a stark contrast to the rough sex he was receiving. The feeling was strange. A brief moment of cold stinging pain and then, Astarion guessed it was something to do with the vampirism or a venom of some kind, the pain became pleasurable. He felt his loins burn and the coil inside him tighten. The bite and drinking was so intimate, so close that Astarion felt right doing this with Tav. Only Tav. His Tav.  His fangs would only know one person and he damn well meant it. She was his everything.

Soon, the coil that was so tightly wrapped inside him was in danger of snapping. Astarion began to warn Tav.

“I’m…I’m going…”

Tav didn’t let him finish the sentence as she brought her hand between their legs once more and began to rub his engorged and swollen clit in circles precisely. With a cry and a yell of Tav’s name, Tav felt him clench and contract around her cock, his orgasm ripped through him and Tav tasted a new flavor in the blood as he came. It was a rich spiciness that enhanced the existing silky flavor, Tav couldn’t get enough, and soon, without realizing the want in her lower belly was pulled taut and a few more strokes later, she came inside her own body, spend coating the inner walls and began seeping and escaping out the sides where her phallus met his inner walls. It smeared his thighs and dripped down from his vaginal opening.

Tav licked the wounds closed and pulled away gingerly. Tav fished another scroll out when she finally pulled out and separated herself from her lover. She held it out to the panting man who needed a little help sitting up. Tav extended a hand and Astarion was able to hoist himself up from bed and sit against the headboard.

After getting cleaned up and another bath, the pair got ready for the day. They helped each other get their armor on, their boots and gauntlets aligned as well as their weapons secured.

“You sure you want to go out?” Astarion asked Tav, the post coital bliss still in effect.

“Yeah. We’ve been holed up most of the time we’ve been here. We should go out.”

Tav and Astarion made their way out of their room and down the stairs of the Elfsong Tavern. They made it down the street in an attempt to make their way to the famous Sorcerer’s Sundries when two beings began to tail the couple.

Astarion noticed the pair and whispered to Tav.

“There is an orc and an elf following us.”

“You sure?”

“Positive.”

Tav took Astarion’s hand and led him to an open area in front of the Sundries. As the couple approached the center pedestal where the commoners were, two more people snuck out of the crowd, surrounding them.

“Fuck.” Astarion cursed.

The couple paused their movement and looked around them.

“What do you want?” Astarion called out, hoping to resolve the situation peacefully rather than violently due to their unique situation. If Astarion was back in his body, he’d revel in murder, but while occupying his lover’s? He wouldn’t dare.

“You already have what we want! Come quietly and we won’t be forced to hurt you.”

Tav stepped in front of Astarion, teeth bared and growling, but it was not enough to scare them off. Instead, out of the two new stalkers, a drow and a halfling, the halfling charged forward and attempted to use a trident on Tav. Tav was able to dodge but not without a scratch. She was grazed on the arm by the outside of the trident, Tav trying and failing to hit the halfling with her dagger. The halfling was a woman, clad in dark like the rest while the orc who attempted to come at Astarion from behind was male. Astarion swung his greatsword to keep him at a distance. The female elf and the male drow watched as the two were preoccupied and both of them tried to grab Astarion as Tav was distracted in addition to Astarion from the other two attackers.

“Ignis!” shouted a voice from afar as the two other attackers closed in on Tav and Astarion.

The drow went up in flames, making him run to the fountain in the center of the promenade. Another fireball hit in front of the orc, making him back up and away from Astarion.

Gale, Halsin, and Shadowheart came into view from Sorcerer's Sundries, able and ready for battle. Halsin wild shaped into a bear, Shadowheart healed Tav and Gale used Magic Missile to send the rest of the attackers away. The attackers fled, limping and in pain. One, the one who was burned, dared not move. He remained in the fountain.

Tav went to interrogate the man when Gale interceded.

“Tav, don’t! We know what they want and it isn't for others to hear.” Gale explained, his hand resting on Tav’s wrist to stop her from approaching the man in pain.

“Is there anything you can tell me?” Tav snapped, knowing how weird it was to be attacked in broad daylight and in a busy place.

“It is related to our recent...situation. The wizard I was seeking wants something for our help, but I don’t feel comfortable telling you here of all places. Let’s head back and we can go over everything...in detail.” Gale explained

“My love, it may be best we leave anyways. The Fists are bound to show up soon after all the racket we made.” Astarion said and took Tav’s hand into his as he pulled her slightly back towards the tavern’s direction.

It took about ten minutes for the group to make it to the Elfsong Tavern. Once there, Astarion and Tav made it upstairs and was about to open the companion room door when Halsin gently redirected Tav towards their private room.

“This conversation is private.” Halsin whispered. The group filed into the room while the couple sat down on their bed.

“So what was so important we couldn’t mention it anywhere else?” Tav was a little short. She was in a difficult situation, her stomach was always hungry, she was cold and now her friends were wearing on her patience.

“We went to meet a wizard, as you know, who may have the answers we seek to fix your condition. The problem is, he is not the altruistic sort. His demands were too much and I’ll have to find another way as a backup to fix the pair of you.” Gale explained but Tav noticed his eyes were never settling on hers. His smile never met his eyes and something was going on.

“What aren't you telling me?” Tav demanded, her hand laced in Astarion’s hand.

Gale sighed and drew his hand over his face in frustration. Halsin offered an easy smile and a caring demeanor when he spoke next. Shadowheart remained silent but kept staring at Astarion.

“Tav, the wizard was asking for your child. A half vampire, or rather called, a dhampir. You’re pregnant, Tav.”

[calypso-finale]

Hundred Twenty Nine.

Waiting for Chris to come out of the bathroom before I leave to go to this meal with Mel, but he is taking his sweet time in there, things since Rylee has left, things have been a little off with Chris, he didn’t see her go or anything. When him and Oakley spoke he disliked that he said he was removing Brown from the name and that Fenty will stay and even then when Chris tried to speak to Rylee, well reach out to Rylee because of the name thing he hated that in front of Oakley she said that she’s sticking by what he said and he kicked off again, so I was like we going, but I saw them both go and saw my grandson off. Chris is just off with it all, I need him to get out of it, he can’t do this when we need to be there and support her on the big day. I said to Rylee I will try and gather him and make him see sense that this has to happen, he’s finding it hard to know a man has taken his daughter and he is just not the provider, he’s very uptight about Rylee in anything, the way he even acted that she had Aziel was terrible, but we can’t hold onto what happened really “are you my bodyguard?” Chris joked “erm, I suppose. I just like to know my husband is ok” he waved me off “I’m always ok twin, you know how it is. But what’s up?” Sometimes I just stare at my husband and think how far we have made it but it has taken me stepping back, I had to do it and it has made us better in a sense even though it has bruised my ego a little but we are more open and we do talk more, I am never in the dark with things “I’m going to see Mel now so I just wanted to check in on you” Chris is laughing “it’s cool, you know me. I’m just going to sleep for a little and then got the game with Junior, have a good time though” he made his way over to me, pecking my lips “love you, see you when you get home. And I can’t promise Emi won’t take your things” rolling my eyes “please try and tell her no and Chris, remember we are going out for some food tomorrow” Chris grinned “second best after Mel I see, but cool. See you tonight” smiling at him, he doesn’t want me to mention it but I have to bring it up, like I get Oakley concern and I get Chris so I have to fix this but with Chris it’s all about time, I have to give him time. I can’t come down on him, but the kids are worried about him, and him not talking to Rylee now.

Pressing a kiss to Mel cheek “my girl, and Jah. I mean who the hell invited this bald mess. What the hell” leaning down and kisses his bald head “because bitch I see your energy, how you invite Mel but no me!? Like where is my meal, how rude of you” I cackled sitting down “well it was last minute, Mel is always busy. I been busy, so we just linked now. I for one had the kids at home so yeah, when I say kids I mean those adult assholes I have” I pointed out “they the worst, Mel was saying how her eldest. Moody Melody just be snapping, and how she sought out her father family” I gasped “oh yeah, she visited his family. And they put so much shit in her mind, look I don’t have issues with it but they wasn’t there. So she came home and said that you and Auntie rih kept me away from them, I said first of all do not get my sister involved. Like how dare you, but it’s been drama, and I am to blame. Money blinded me” I gasped again “that is so bad, wow. What is wrong with these older kids. It’s like they blame us” I scoffed “oh and I gave my youngest a better home” I pointed “that is what the eldest three said to me!” I spat “I don’t want to have that conversation; I am just so drained from it. So how are we? I wasn’t expecting Jah? I mean the little prize” Jah waved me off “you can be such bitch sometimes” I giggled “not that just didn’t think you would be here but anyways, how are you?” I asked Jah “I’m well, just happy. Settled, I was actually thinking back, I miss your life, I miss us being young” I chuckled “I know but we can’t always live that life, we needed to grow and all that good stuff” Jah pulled a face “and you needed to keep popping babies out?” I chuckled “shut up, you love my babies. Can I have some wine, what is this? Are we on a diet” these are useless “well I feel closer to the eldest three, I feel they have been there and more in the limelight. The youngest three have had an entirely different upbringing” nodding my head “and this is what Ti and Rylee said to me, they feel like it’s a disconnect and they hate coming but when they come they bring all the drama, it’s because I’m home, that’s the difference, they were raised by Chris and these are raised by two parents” I said, which is true.

Jah and his issues with men “so let me get this right, you got a husband. But you cheated?” I questioned “a mistake” I laughed shaking my head “a mistake, negro please. Now how you going to say mistake? What did you trip and fell on his dick, you need to tell the truth, I am not joking with you. Tell him, it’s eating you up inside” Jah gasped “well you came here to tell me this” he huffed out poking out his lips “well yeah I did but I didn’t expect you to be so blunt” I shrugged “that is just me, but you need to tell him, why the fuck would you cheat? It took you years for anyone to even like you” Mel snorted laughing “like what the hell, I need to be hard on you. I need you to fix up and tell him, it’s not right that you get to cheat and be silent about it so tell him and free yourself too” I am so serious, I know I was just joking about nobody liking him, but I am so serious with him about telling him the truth “I will” he mumbled “oh my god what happened with Rylee being punched? All you did was text me Rylee got punched and then never even said a thing after” I chuckled “well what happened was, well it stemmed from Chris disliking that Rylee is listening to Oakley. So we was sat in the home with Imani, just talking and Rylee came in and she kicked off, started saying all these things and I was like oh god, now what we going to do and then Oakley came in from behind her and cut it off, told her that you know we aren’t here to cause issues. That it’s their child still and told her to sit down, Rylee obeyed. She skipped over and sat next to him, giggling. Chris hated it, Chris flat out hated that his daughter is so down bad, he was livid with it. Then the hate came around again, Chris mood changed. And you know Herb is so far up Chris’ ass, if Chris hates someone, he does. So Chris has been a dick to Oakley now, just doing things. Then it comes to blows, things have been a mess. So the last day they are going home, I said look I want to see you and I want to see Aziel before you go, and she did with Tianna. Herb started some shit with Oakley, Rylee got between them, and Herb was going to punch Oakley but ended up punching Rylee sent her flying forward, then Chris punched Herb and he was knocked out for a while” Mel just stared at me “nice to know nothing changed with Chris” Jah said.

“Chris is so sentimental when it comes to Rylee, I mean he has enough kids to like. He has Emi?” Mel said “Emi gets the bare minimum from Chris; the boys get most of his attention. He is very much into the boys and their games but Emi she isn’t his elder three, she is just there. I mean I am not mad because he is there but the effort he puts into hating what Rylee is doing he could put into Emi. I said to him look at some point they all get married, and like its causing a rift that doesn’t need to happen. But he doesn’t like that Oakley has taken his place, he can’t split the two. The guy that was or is his friend to the guy now. Seeing both Oakley and Rylee they are very into each other, and then Rylee has been trying to speak to him, she said that the Brown name is being removed from her name, well that also upset him so now he isn’t speaking to her. I said he has to let it go” Mel sighed out “he loves Rylee so much, and over the years seeing them both I know he loves her so much. I think to him she is the love child you both wanted, that was it. Tianna was a horny moment and Imani was frustration because you both wasn’t together, but Rylee is the child that he loves, and she loves him and he sees Oakley as a threat now. I think you may need to let him mourn that, let him do him because knowing Chris if you push him he will just be even worse” Mel has a point “well he ruining the day, I want to go to the wedding without thinking he will bite, but to see Rylee listen. She listens to Oakley so much; they are both so close now too. You can tell they have each other backs and are there for each other, I didn’t think my daughter would be the one obeying” Mel sniggered “You obeyed too mamas, learnt from her mother” putting a finger up at her.

Chris’ hate for Giorgio Baldi makes me warm inside because it’s funny, it’s literally a place he hates with his whole heart but he comes for me so this is why I love it, he would prefer me not to come but he does, and he does it for me “why are you smiling?” He asked as he drank the Hennessy from the glass “because I know how much you hate this place; you rather take care of Emi then come here but you do for me” he snorted laughing “how did fat mama get that stray Robyn?” He sat back in the chair “let’s be real now, you do love her, but you have one love, and she is in London” he kissed his teeth “not exactly, she’s different. Done with, I was done with her when she did what she did. Disappointment is what I see” oh he’s in a hateful mood “you’re such a liar” I pointed smiling “I’m serious, I don’t care about her” he is playing in my face “Chris, please stop lying to me. You’re in a hateful mood, you’re up and down. You want to walk Rylee down the aisle, and I know it” Chris rolled his eyes “I wish she never met him; I wish I never met him. Imagine if I never saw myself in him, I wish he never came into her life. I am so sick, it’s my fault” shaking my head “you know what Chris, I was their biggest hater. But Chris he loves her, she loves him. Didn’t you want your daughters to have someone that loved them? Didn’t you want that? You will always be her first love, but she has her family now and all that goes with it, her love is to Oakley, and I don’t want you to miss out because you’re being stubborn and because you don’t like how he’s taken over but of course he going to take over, that’s going to be her husband, you tell me what you want her to do? Chose you over a man she loves? Tell me this, you are ruining everything, Oakley now just wants to be cordial with you. Chris this has to change. You keep pushing and they just do it without us there? Then what?” Chris shrugged “he knows I will kill him” I rolled my eyes “yes, no Chris” I scoffed, he just doesn’t listen to me and that makes me mad.

Wiping my mouth with the tissue “look, just hard I guess. I don’t want to push them. It’s hard, change is hard. I still remember when I first held her, and now she is in London, a mother, ready to be a wife. Like that shit blows my mind, I love my kids. But we all have the one that changed us, Rylee is my first born and I find it hard to just see her” he paused “changed” nodding my head “and why can’t you talk about it instead of starting stupid shit? It’s unfair how you do that, I think we all understand how you feel and why, I think all the kids know who you love a lot. Chris I know you’re stressing thinking you have to give her away” he cringed “I don’t want to give her away, that my baby Robyn. I have to officially give her to someone else” he is so emotional “and a guy you know deep down you trust, come on now” he sighed out “just please stop the nonsense, stop making life hard for Rylee and speaking of her” she is calling me, answering the call “hey” sitting back in the chair “one minute, Oakley I don’t want to be stood here” she said “just wait there” sounds busy “sorry, oh my god. Mom, before this all comes out. So we just left Mayfair, like ten minutes ago. Tion please can you just tell him to stop, I want to go. Hail a cab! Sorry mom, so we left Mayfair just ten minutes, went to the club with Oakley and some friends. Some guys” her voice broke “it was so scary, we drove off with Tion and in the car behind is Wyge so we drove off not a minute less, some guys on dirt bikes came at the side of the car as he was driving, Oakley just put his foot down to drive off, he grabbed me and pulled me over to him and keeping my head down. You know how Oakley drives, so he just kept driving and driving at a speed and I am having a breakdown, but he wouldn’t let me lift my head up at all, then I didn’t see but heard it. Someone shot the car; I just don’t know how he got rid of them but London roads plus his driving. Now we are just waiting around, I am scared they will come around again” my mouth fell open “why are you waiting around!?” I spat “the tyre is flat, and the police have been called but I want to go” my heart is in my mouth right “you tell him I want you safe, what you mean!” I spat “I am scared mom, Ti didn’t answer” there is a lot of commotion “police are here, I will call back” she put the phone down, Chris just staring at me but I know Chris he will lose his mind “what is it?” he asked “I would lie to you but then it’s wrong of me, Rylee and Oakley left the club with friends, come guys on bikes chased them” Chris’ face dropped “see what I mean, I told that motherfucker he can’t keep her safe in London! I don’t care what area!” she spat “and I need you to not do this” he got up from the seat but kicked the chair as he did walking off, let me allow him to calm down “I said it, I said he can never keep her safe in London!” he shouted as he walked off and I got stared at but I am used to it.

[abbatoirablaze]

Sunshine, Lloyd Hansen

Word Count:  1.8k Warnings:  violence, aggression, manipulation, implied smut, age gap, angst

“Hey there sunshine,” Lloyd’s voice rang through the phone in a hushed tone, “I’m gonna be a little late picking you up…got a few last minute errands that I need to run before I get to ya…but I’m on my way…and when I get there…I’m gonna do what I always promised…gonna sweep you right off your feet and finally kiss you, just like how you’ve seen in all those movies you like.  I can’t believe I get to take you home today…I wish we could have spent all morning together, but I had work to get done…nothing major…just know that I love you.  I’ve been waiting years to finally have you all to myself and now…now you’re nineteen…we’ll have all the time in the world…and we’ll do everything you ever wanted.  I promise.  I love you, sunshine.”

Your tears made their way down your cheeks, the blotchy red background clearly irritated from your current predicament.  As you heard the clicking of a set of heels down the hall, you slid the nonworking phone back between the cracks of the wall and backed up against it. 

Your stomach turned as she walked in.  

Dani Miranda. 

She’d held you captive for the better part of a few days while Lloyd went hunting after one of his former colleagues.  You only knew him as Six.  Your breath hitched as you saw him lurking in the entrance of the door while she tossed a bottle of water and a few stale pieces of bread onto the bare cot next to you.

“Eat,” she commanded, nodding towards the food.  Your stomach growled but you didn’t dare shift an inch, already all too familiar with the shift in her moods in the short amount of time that you’d been locked wherever it was that they’d taken you, “eat and we’ll talk…we have to talk to you, and you need your strength.”

You made no move to do such, and she rushed you at an incredible speed, grabbing you by your hair.  You screamed nervously as she shoved you onto the cot, the water bouncing and skittering off the cot onto the floor while the bread awkwardly crunched beneath your body. 

“Dani…”

“I’m tired of playing good cop, six,” she seethed, “Lloyd had her family hidden away for a reason…we’ve gone through both of her parents…she’s the only one left.  She’d his soulmate…his weak link.  His blind spot.  We can use her.”

“M-my parents?” you asked worriedly, your eyes trailing towards the door.  Your heart plummeted in your stomach when Six looked away from you, an obvious indicator that he was guilty of something, “wh-what happened to my parents?”

“She’s a kid, Dani.”

“She’s his soul mate…” she growled, “and because of you, he’s hunting both of us down.  We had to take her.”

“What happened to my parents?” you asked, leaning forward on the cot, “a-are they okay?  My-my mom is-“

“They’re dead, kid!” she spat, cutting you off.  You looked back to Six, but he only crossed his arms and shifted uncomfortably in his leaning position, blockading the door.  You could tell that he wasn’t use to this sort of thing.  You felt the tears working down your cheeks as your gaze shifted between Dani and Six.

“N-no…no.  You’re joking.  You have to be joking.  Right?”

“If you don’t tell us where Lloyd is you’re next!” she said firmly, coming towards you.  Your heart beat heavily in your chest at the thought of dying.  At the thought of never seeing your soulmate again.

“I-I don’t know where Lloyd is.  I-I-“

“I-I,” she mocked, pushing you hard.  You fell back to the bed and she reached out, grabbing your hair again, “you know how pathetic you sound?  WHERE?  IS?  LLOYD?  He wouldn’t have just left you alone and not been close by.”

“I don’t know,” you cried, admitting about how you didn’t know where your soulmate was, “he-he was supposed to come get me on my birthday a few days ago…he-he said that he was running late.  That’s all I know, I promise.”

“That’s it.  I’m done-“

You screamed again, knowing that it was a fruitless venture when Six didn’t stop her.  She pulled you to your feet, but you fought until you were on the ground.  The two of you went back and forth, until you finally felt a heavy blow land on the back of your head.  And the only thing that filled your mind as the darkness started seeping in through the corners of your vision, was how you hoped your soulmate would come looking for you. 

And you knew that he’d found you when you saw his piercing blue eyes in the vent, glaring at the woman who’d just stricken you.  His eyes were filled with a rage you’d only seen a few times before.

“Get her to the interrogation room, six…we’ll leave her there for a few hours til she wakes up.”

You smiled as your world turned dark, knowing that you wouldn’t see her again.  That your soulmate was coming for you.

“L-Lloyd?”

“Easy there, sunshine,” Lloyd chuckled softly as you tried to get up from the bed.  Your throat felt dry, and you choked over the words that were trying to come out.   He brushed some of the hair from your face and handed you a glass of water, “last night was pretty intense…”

You blushed thinking about how you had finally been allowed to spend the night with your soulmate.  And true to what you’d heard from your friends at school, losing your virginity to your soulmate was…earth shattering. 

It was like everything was how it was supposed to be.  Every kiss where his lips slotted against yours.  The way his mustache tickled you when he trailed a sweet, delicate line of kisses down your body to your once virginal core. 

The way he took you apart for hours with his mouth and fingers before finally giving you all of himself. 

You weren’t stupid.  You knew Lloyd had an extensive list of women that he’d been with.  But you had saved yourself for him.  You made that decision the day you met him when you were at the annual soulmates gala and had met him at your debut when you hit sixteen. 

“You okay there, sunshine?”

You nodded, thanking him for the water, and leaned forward, placing a hand on his firm chest while you pressed a sweet kiss to his lips. 

He groaned, pulling you on top of him, and you squealed excitedly, “Lloyd.  What are you doing?”

“I don’t know,” he admitted with a chuckle, the brightest of smiles adorning his face, “I-I have no clue, sunshine…but with you it just feels right.”

“I love you, Lloyd,” you replied in earnest, leaning up to kiss him again, “and I can’t wait until later today…”

“Me either,” he grinned, “I just got a few last minute things to tie up with work…but I’ll be back before the day’s out…and tonight…tonight you’ll know what it’s truly like when I don’t hold back?”

“Y-you were holding back?”

You paled at the thought.  Lloyd had been gentle with you, and you knew from his reputation that he was not a gentle man, but you couldn’t imagine what it was that he was referring to; and it made you nervous.

“Sunshine…I don’t want to be crass with you…but let me just say…tonight…I’m not wearing a condom…and I’m not pulling out…and I sure as hell am not letting you leave our bed until I know we’ve started our future.”

You blushed yet again, looking away from him, but he was quick to pull your face back to his, “hey…hey…don’t be embarrassed about it, sweetheart…that’s what soulmates do…we create our future together.”

“I just…last night was my first time Lloyd..”

“And that’s why I was gentle,” he reminded you softly, “I wanted your first time to be perfect.  I wanted you to love it.”

“I did,” you blushed, gently biting your lip as you looked away from the man that you loved, “it was perfect, Lloyd…god…you’re just…amazing.”

“And that’s what makes you perfect…” he smiled, caught up in the dreamy look that you were giving him, “you were built for me…you’re the soft side of my life…I know I’m rough and tumble…and I’ve done a lot of things I’m not proud of…but you…you’re going to help me create something beautiful…you’re my sunshine.”

“Lloyd?”

“Yes, sunshine?” he smiled, wrapping his arms tighter around you.

“What happens with your job after this?”

“Like I told you when I first got to know you…what I do is dangerous…that’s why we put in specific safeguards…keep that phone on ya that I gave you…it’s got an internal tracker…you know how it don’t work or dial out or nothing…”

“Uh-huh.”

“Press 1…there’s a message on there in case you get scared…it’ll play.  Its a beacon that will set off the GPS…it’ll take a few days to get a pinpoint…but I’ll come for you…don’t’ you ever worry.”

“I-I know…”

“What do you do til then?” he asked, tapping your nose, “what do you do while I hone in on it?”

“Buy you time…”

“Good girl…how do you buy me time?”

“Play stupid…use my innocence against them.”

“Just that, sunshine…they won’t expect a sweet little thing like you to be hiding nothing…”

“And those actors?” you asked nervously, “Wh-what happens if they’re taken too?”

“They’ll protect you til they die,” he shrugged, “they’ve been keeping ya hidden from your real family for the past few years while I got us a little nest built up…and now that it’s almost done…they know their job is almost done too…”

“Lloyd…p-please don’t kill them…I-I actually like them.  They’ve been really kind to me,” you sighed, your own bonds with them going deeper than the ones you ever had with your real family, “they feel like what real parents are supposed to be like.”

“See, sunshine…the way you go asking me like that…makes me wanna be a better man and not kill them when I take you home tonight…” he admitted, “makes me wanna let them live, unlike what I did to your real family a few months ago when they tried coming for you.”

“So you won’t kill them?”

“I guess not,” he shrugged, rolling the two of you over until he was hovering over your petite frame, “but since I’ve been such a good guy in letting them live, what does that get me?”

“I think it gets you another opportunity to make love to me before you leave,” you teased softly, your hand working down his chest to his already erect cock.  He groaned when your hand wrapped around him, “what do you say, Lloyd Hansen?  Want a little afternoon delight before you leave.”

“God, I love you, sunshine!” he all but purred as our lips met once more.

[bbysamu]

#HAIKYUU BOYS WHEN YOU TELL HIM YOU DON’T WANT TO HANG OUT WITH HIM ANYMORE

featuring: OIKAWA Toru, IWAIZUMI Hajime, MIYA Atsumu, BOKUTO Kotaro, KITA Shinsuke, KUROO Tetsuro x f!reader 

genre: TIkTok 

warning: none! 

✗ OIKAWA Toru “princess, you ready?” Your husband walks into the living room in his turquoise blue blanket hoodie with the little aliens on it and a bowl of popcorn in hand. “actually honey, I don’t really feel like watching the movie anymore.” At your words, Oikawa stops in his tracks and immediately pouts. “but you promised!” “yeah I know, but I can always change my mind right? Plus the girls are on FaceTime right now and I kind of want to join them.” Oikawa plops down on the sofa and holds out the bowl of popcorn to you, “but I’ve got popcorn...” “thanks! I'll have some.” As you reach out your hand, Oikawa snatches his popcorns back. “no. You can only have some if you watch movie with me.” He looks up at you, leaning his head against the sofa, “please?” “oh okay, fine. I guess I'll stay for the popcorn.” “no, say you’ll stay for me.” You lean down and kisses his forehead, “fine I guess I'll stay for you.” 

✗ IWAIZUMI Hajime looks out the window and smiles at the sunny sky. A perfect day for picnic-ing. He sees you leaning against the door, still in your pajamas. “why are you not dressed?” he gestures to the picnic basket, “I’ve put all the food in the basket already.” “I’ve changed my mind about the picnic...” Iwaizumi furrows his brows and walks over to you, putting a gentle hand on your forehead, his other hand on his own. “what are you doing?” “just checking to see if you have a fever because you were so excited for the picnic.”  He looks down at you, “feels normal to me.” “I'm just lazy to go out.” “but it’s so pretty today....” He suddenly looks at you, “what about a balcony picnic?” “huh?” He walks over to the balcony, “we’ll get to stay at home but still picnic too!” He looks so proud of his idea you couldn’t help but give in, “good idea, babe!” “now, what do you want to eat first? the sandwich or the cake?” 

✗ MIYA Atsumu “hey Tsumu, I don’t think I’m hanging out with you at the gym today.” Atsumu looks up at you mid-stretch. “why?” “Samu invited me and Kita over to test out some new onigiri flavor.” “why you?” “because obviously, as his sister-in-law who’s also a chef, this makes sense don’t you think?” Atsumu shakes his head stubbornly, “no.” “well, I'm not asking you for permission.”  As you get ready to leave the house, Atsumu trails behind you in jeans and not his usual gym shorts. “aren’t you going to the gym?” “no.” “okay.” He stands there, waiting for you to ask him why not. When you don’t, he finally breaks down, no longer giving you one-worded answers. “why don’t ya ask me why I'm not going to the gym?” You look at him, prompting him to go on. “because,” he emphasizes, “I'm gonna go with ya. I’ll go anywhere with ya.” “that’s romantic, babe, but Samu didn’t invite you. He invited me.” Atsumu takes a dramatic step back, “it’s like ya don’t even wanna be with me anymore.” “I'm just kidding, Tsumu. Come on, let’s go before Samu gets mad at us for being late.” Atsumu happily trails behind you the entire day as you tasted the different new flavors. 

✗ BOKUTO Kotaro “hey hey hey!” your husband excitedly runs into the room all dressed up for your dinner date. It’s a been a while since you’ve guys had a proper date. “hey Y/N he-” he interrupts himself, completely taken aback by your beauty. “you look so pretty!” He grabs your hand in his, pulling you to your feet and starts spinning your around. “Ko,” you pout, “my friends just invited me to a movie tonight at the same time as our date...” You tried your best to put on a conflicted expression. “oh, okay.” Bokuto replies and let’s go of your hand. “um...can I come too ?” He looks down at the ground, hair dropping just a little. “it’s a girls night, Ko.” “oh no problem. We’ll reschedule then.” He walks back into the bedroom, shoulders sagged with defeat. 30 seconds later he runs out, whining as he says “no please, Y/N. Take me too! I just want to hangout with you. I don’t care it’s a girls’ night!” He wraps himself around your waist, muttering a repeat of “please don’t leave me behind.” “Babe, it’s just a joke. I would never ditch a date with you for movies with friends.” He looks up at you, eyes gleaming, “thanks for not leaving me behind.” “I'd never leave you behind.” 

✗ KITA Shinsuke sighs as he walks through the door after a long day of work, but smiles softly to himself at the sight of you, legs crossed, on the sofa. Tonight was puzzle night and he has been looking forward to it all day. “hey love, do you want to finish the Totoro piece today? Or do you want to start a new one?” You look at him, “actually, I don’t want to build puzzles tonight.” Kita frowns but catches himself and smiles instead, “oh sure. What do you want to do then?” You open your arms to him, “cuddle maybe?” He walks over to you, settling down next to you before wrapping you in his arms, a hand on the back of your head, lovingly stroking your hair. “tough day today?” he asks. “no, just tired.” You guys stay like this a little longer before he speaks up quietly, “well, maybe puzzles will help get you energized.” You smile at him, “you really like puzzles don’t you, babe.” He nods, a hint of red slowly rising to his cheeks. “okay, five more minutes of cuddling.” He nods again as he pulls you closer. “maybe ten more minutes.” 

✗ KUROO Tetsuro walks up to you, resting a hand on the small of your back before pulling you into his chest. “are you ready to have some fun?” he murmurs against the shell of your ear, sending goosebumps down your arms. “actually Tetsu, I don’t really feel like playing with you today.” He pulls back and looks down at you in surprise, “why! it’s finally our chance to get our revenge on Kenma in Super Smash Bros.” You shake your head, “you mean your revenge?” Kuroo narrows his eyes, “are you doing this because I accidentally ate your last cookie today?” “what do you mean accidentally? I know you did it on purpose!” Kuroo steps back, “I knew it! I knew that smile was fake when you said it was okay.” He softens his eyes and his voice, “please babe? I can’t beat Kenma on my own...” “oh really? what do I get for helping you then?” “I'll give you Kirby tonight and I'll buy you the cookies right after we’re done.” You hold out your pinky to which he automatically links with his own. “I pinky promise you, princess.” You guys didn’t beat Kenma that night though, but you still got your cookies, so yay! 

stay fetch, xoxo

Join my new taglist! 

[honeypiehotchner]

Version of You (Hotch x Fem!Reader) — one shot

Call 1-800-799-7233 if you think you are in danger/a victim of domestic violence, or visit this website for resources, live chat, and more (for the USA). This is a link to the wikipedia page that has international resources. 

(I wanted to put that first because this fic deals with an abusive relationship and some scenes show the abuse. If you relate to any this, please seek help via the resources above. I want desperately to say my DMs are open, but for my own mental wellbeing, I have to let you know that the resources that I give above are about all I can do to help. You’re welcome to DM me if needed, but please know that it might take me a minute to reply, and I still will point you in the direction of resources that can better help you. I love and support and am with every single one of you, but I can only do so much through a screen xx.)

This is 100% a comfort fic, but I am safe and okay, I promise 💛 (Truthfully, this was really therapeutic to write.)

Small note: mental and verbal abuse is depicted here, not physical (though it does come close), but I wanted to remind you that just because abuse isn’t physical doesn’t mean it’s not harmful or real. Mental and verbal abuse is still abuse.

Summary: Hotch helps you find the courage within you to end your abusive relationship for good.

Warnings: depiction of an abusive relationship, verbal/mental abuse, violence (domestic and otherwise), angst, happy ending

Hotch Masterlist

Aaron is stunned and disappointed to find you’re still at your desk when he walks out of his office at the grand hour of 8 p.m.

You don’t even hear his office door open or close, but you do hear his footsteps on the stairs. By the time he reaches your desk to say goodnight, you’re already attempting to cover up any traces of emotion on your cheeks.

But Aaron is a profiler. On top of that, though, he’s one of your best friends. He’s known you for six years now, and given how much time the BAU members spend together on cases, he’d argue he knows every single person here better than they know themselves.

You’d agree. You hardly know who you are anymore. But somehow, Aaron knows. Aaron can see.

“What’s wrong?” He asks, already setting his bag down, already pulling a chair over, already sitting next to you.

You’re ready to tell him it’s nothing, to tell him to get home to Jack, that it isn’t important — but it is.

You’ve been with your current partner for almost eight years. Anyone would hear that and ask if marriage is on the horizon, or children, or something of the sort. But not Aaron. Because Aaron can see the pain in your eyes.

Truthfully, he’s seen that pain in your eyes for the past two years. Maybe more.

But recently, it’s gotten worse. A lot worse.

You’re on a “break” with your partner. Whatever a “break” even means, because you still receive phone calls and texts from them all day. You send the calls to voicemail unless you absolutely aren’t doing anything, and the texts you reply to with one word.

Going home is fine because your partner is gone — for now. Work called them away, so you’re home alone for at least another three days, but you expect they’ll want you to pick them up from the airport.

You’ve never longed for a case the way you’re longing for one right now.

This “break” has been easiest because your partner has been gone. You know if they were here, it wouldn’t have been a break at all.

“It’s made me realize that I...I want a break. A real break.”

“You want to break up,” Aaron says it for you, knowing you’re too afraid.

Your hesitant nod confirms this for him. “I do. I think I really do.”

Aaron has known the relationship hasn’t been the healthiest. You don’t open up about your personal life that much at work — you never have — but it has always been telling that you never go out for drinks with the team. And when you did, you’d have to answer texts every ten minutes. Your partner never accepted an invite to join the team for drinks or dinner, but would often get angry at you for being out, as if you hadn’t tried to invite them.

Raised voices, broken glass. Not a single hand was ever laid on you. No, instead, it was a wine glass your mom gifted to you when you graduated college when your partner was angry that you had gone out for drinks with the team after a difficult case. A coffee mug you gifted your partner for their birthday faced the brunt of their anger when you didn’t reply to a text message fast enough — because you were parking your car in the garage. Plates, picture frames. A coffee table once, three years ago. It had been a house warming present.

But they’ve never hurt me, you always argue — only with yourself. No one knows the truth, that you clean up after their outbursts, that you’re grateful to have some knowledge of first aid so you can tend to your cuts from the broken glass, or so that you could stitch up your partner’s hand with ease, because hospitals are expensive and the excuses you’d have to fabricate even more so.

They always apologize. Which is true. Apologies are frequent in your house. Sometimes verbal, sometimes in the form of flowers either on your desk at the BAU (that only Hotch seems to notice with a sad smile) or left on the counter at home. Sometimes, rarely, a fancy dinner and some gift, usually a necklace.

“If you need any help at all,” Aaron says, looking you in your eyes, carefully, intently. “I’m here. For anything.”

“Thanks,” you murmur. Your stomach rumbles loudly in the silence, making you chuckle awkwardly.

“Hungry?” He jokes, but is half serious. “I was planning to get something on the way home, if you’d like to join.”

You think it over for a moment. Your mind immediately jumps to say no because you think your partner is home...but they aren’t.

“Sure,” you say. “Why not. What’s on the menu?”

You gather your things and Hotch waits patiently, rattling off some ideas for food to eat until one grabs your attention.

Your phone buzzes with a text. Where are you?

Aaron notices your change in posture with a sigh. “Is that them?”

You nod slowly. “Asking where I am.” You quickly type back, Still at the BAU.

The reply is almost immediate, as always. Just checking. Love you.

Relief washes over you as you type back, Love you too.

Aaron doesn’t like what he sees. The panic that surges through you just from a text message, making you stand up straight, hold your breath, clench your jaw. Then the relief that relinquishes you when a reply comes and it isn’t negative for once. The sudden changes, the way your emotions are yanked back and forth. He hates it.

But he doesn’t mention it. Instead, he says, “Ready?” And waits for you to smile.

+++

Hotch really doesn’t mean for dinner with you to turn into somewhat of a routine. But it does.

It’s brought more smiles to your face than Hotch thinks he has ever seen in the past six years. And for that, he doesn’t regret the dinners.

Neither do you, until the worst thing that could possibly happen ends up happening one night, three weeks since the first dinner.

Your partner is going out with friends, so you think you’re in the clear to get dinner with Aaron. And when your partner asks where you are again, you say you’re still at the BAU. You were, but you and Aaron were in the elevator to leave when you sent that message.

The two of you grab dinner at one of your favorite spots, at a table outside because the weather is perfect, the sky is clear, and stars are beginning to show. It’s magical. Until it’s a nightmare.

“Well, well, well.”

The voice sends shivers down your spine. They’re supposed to be out with friends.

Aaron automatically stands, shoulders squared and face set. He’s wearing his gun, and you are, too, but you’d never use it on your partner. You can’t say the same about Hotch, though, and that terrifies you.

“Babe,” you say with a smile, and Hotch tenses, hearing the pet name fall so easily form your lips. “What are you doing here? I thought you were going out with your friends?”

Your partner crosses their arms over their chest. “And I thought you were still at work.”

“We are,” Hotch speaks up, startling you. “We’re discussing a case.”

Your partner looks around, raising their eyebrows. “I don’t see any papers.”

“Because we went digital five years ago,” Hotch replies coolly. “But aside from that, a federal investigation is none of your business.”

You swallow thickly, waiting for your partner’s reply.

But to your surprise, they only nod. “I understand, sir. I was only checking.”

Hotch holds back a scoff, but instead returns the nod. “If you’ll excuse us.”

Your partner holds their hands up in surrender. “Of course.”

“I’ll see you at home,” you say quickly. “Love you.”

“See you at home,” they reply, making you frown as they turn and walk away.

When you look back at Hotch, you nearly scream. It takes everything in you not to make the hugest scene right there, outside this nice restaurant, underneath these stars.

Your phone buzzes. One hour. Do not be late.

“Y/N—”

“Don’t,” you say quietly. “Just. Don’t, Hotch.”

+++

The next day, you knock on Hotch’s office door, twenty dollar bill in hand to pay him back for your dinner last night. You left in a hurry and didn’t get to pay. Thankfully, at least, arriving home with forty minutes to spare saved you from an even worse reaction from your partner.

“For dinner last night,” you mumble, sliding the twenty across Hotch’s desk. “Thank you.”

As you turn on your heel to leave, Hotch calls out to you. “I’m sorry.”

You sigh. “It’s okay.”

“It’s not,” Aaron says, making you turn back around. “I hope you’re...alright.”

You’re so very far from being “alright” that you almost laugh. Instead, you shrug. “It’s been worse.”

“Did they hit you?”

You’re too shocked to move. “What? No! Why the hell would you even say that?”

“Because I’ve been worried about you.”

“They have never laid a hand on me,” you snap. “Ever.”

“But they’ve come close,” Aaron says gently. “You know they have.”

You only scoff. You feel hurt. Insulted, even, that he would assume something like that. Your relationship with your partner is rocky, of course, but never physical abuse rocky. Never that bad.

But has it come close?

Sure, maybe you’ve felt the wind off a beer bottle when it grazed by your head on its way to the wall. Maybe you have had to duck to avoid getting glass to the face. Maybe.

Maybe they have come close. Closer than you want to admit.

But they’ve also loved you. Held you while you cried. Rewarded you after you cleaned up the broken glass. Left you flowers and jewelry and love notes.

They love you. Don’t they?

“It’s fine,” you whisper, blinking back the stubborn tears that have jumped to the front of your eyes. “They love me.”

“Love isn’t violent,” Aaron replies gently. “Love shouldn’t make you as terrified as I saw you when you left last night.”

“I know,” you choke out. “But I don’t know what to do.”

Hotch is rounding his desk and gathering you in his arms before the first tear slips down your cheeks. He holds you while you cry, letting you get it all out.

“We’ll figure it out,” he whispers, resting his chin on top of your head. “Don’t worry.”

+++

It all comes to a head a few nights later when your partner springs a question on you. The question.

There, standing in the bathroom, you’re too stunned to speak.

“What d’you say, baby? Let’s get married, you and me.”

You don’t reply. You toss the makeup wipe in your trash can, flick the light in the bathroom off, and walk out into the bedroom.

“Baby?” They ask.

You’re facing the dresser, halfway to setting out a pair of pants for work tomorrow. “I...I can’t.”

“What?” Their reply is immediate and angry. “What are you talking about?”

“I can’t,” you repeat, refusing to change your answer. “No.”

By the time you turn around, they’re standing up from the bed, arms crossed over their chest. “What did you just say to me?”

“I said no,” you say firmly. “I’m not marrying you.”

“And why not?”

“I—”

“Are you seeing someone else?”

“What?”

“Your boss? Are you fuckin’ him?”

“No!”

“Then why won’t you marry me?”

“Because I don’t want to!”

You’ve never raised your voice back at your partner. They’ve always been the one to raise their voice, and you stayed silent, tried to talk them down, be the quiet voice of reason.

But not anymore. You’ve had enough.

“You don’t want to?” They scream. “It’s been eight years and now you don’t want to. You’re fucking him, aren’t you?”

“I’m not,” you say through gritted teeth. “But I don’t want to be with you anymore.”

“Baby…” They sigh, stepping closer, lowering their arms. “Why not?”

“Because,” you reply slowly, backing up. “Just because.”

“That’s not a good enough reason and you know it.”

“It’s good enough for me,” you say. You step to the side and keep backing out into the hallway, getting ready to run if need be.

“Where are you going?” They all but growl. “What’s wrong with you?”

You’re scaring me, you want to scream, but you don’t. “I’m fine.”

“You’re fine? Well I’m for damn sure not fine, I’m heartbroken,” they seethe. You see the tell-tale signs that they’re about to get angry — angry enough to start throwing things. You realize in a moment of horror that a paperweight is within their reach.

And they reach for it.

“Don’t,” you murmur, freezing when their fingers wrap around the glass. “Put it down.”

“Why?” They ask, calm as ever. “Don’t you want to see what you’ve just done to my heart?”

You shake your head slowly. “No. I’m sorry. I’m sorry, no!” Your reflexes have gotten better since being at the FBI, and you duck right in time. The paperweight crashes against the wall behind you, shattering, denting the wall, and covering the couch in fine pieces of broken glass.

“See what you’ve done!” Your partner screams. “This could’ve been easy! You could’ve said yes!”

You spot your car keys on the counter next to you, and when they turn their back to you to grip at their hair, you slide the keys off and into your pocket.

I have to get out of here. It’s a thought that you never have. Normally by now you’d be vacuuming up the glass on the couch, apologizing every five seconds, pouring them a glass of whiskey or a beer or something. But not now. Not anymore.

You’re a few steps from the door when your partner notices. “Where the fuck are you going?”

“Nowhere,” you freeze. “Go take a shower. Cool off. I’ll clean up this mess and then we can talk about this again, okay?”

They almost don’t accept your offer, but after a second, they nod. “There better be a beer waiting on me when I get out.”

“Of course,” you smile.

Your smile makes them suspicious, but they turn and head into the bedroom without another word.

Shaking, you turn to the closet to grab the vacuum, turning it on and beginning to suck up the glass off the couch.

But when you hear the shower curtain pull closed, you escape, leaving the vacuum running.

+++

It’s pouring down rain, you aren’t wearing any shoes, and you’re knocking on your boss’s front door. Can your life get any more pathetic?

When Aaron opens the door, he’s practically hauling you inside and out of the rain.

“What’s wrong?” Aaron asks, already leading you down the hall toward the bathroom. “You’re shivering, we need to get you out of these clothes — you aren’t wearing shoes, fuck, Y/N, what happened?”

“They asked me to marry them,” you choke out. You aren’t even crying. You haven’t cried yet at all. “I said no. They almost hit me.”

Aaron feels a dangerous surge of anger course through his body. “Did they hit you?”

You shake your head, and it turns into a full-body shiver.

“Okay,” Aaron says, taking a deep breath to ground himself. “Okay, let me get some clothes for you. Do you want to take a shower?”

You shake your head again.

“Okay, that’s okay. I’ll be right back.”

You sit, shivering, on your boss’s toilet for a few minutes before he returns with clothes. A t-shirt and pair of sweatpants of his. Old ones, he says, they don’t fit him anymore. You smile slightly when you realize the shirt is from his college, the sweatpants from his law school. No wonder they don’t fit him anymore.

“I’m sorry I didn’t call,” you say. “I—I think I left my phone there.”

“It’s okay,” Aaron shakes his head. “Don’t worry about that. Just get changed and get warm. Do you want some tea? Anything?”

“Just some water, please,” you murmur. “Thank you.”

“No problem,” he smiles.

After he leaves, you change out of your wet clothes and into his shirt and sweatpants. You carefully hang your wet shirt and shorts over the edge of the bathtub, hoping that’s okay.

You venture out of the bathroom and follow the noise into the kitchen where you find Aaron putting up dishes.

“Hey,” he murmurs, straightening up. “Do you want ice with your water?”

“Um, sure.”

The sound of ice clinking into the glass makes you flinch, and you’re grateful Aaron’s back is turned away from you.

“There you go,” he hands you the glass.

“Thank you.”

You sip it quietly while he goes back to putting up the rest of the clean dishes in the dishwasher. Once he finishes, your heart is still racing, now with guilt from coming here unannounced. What if he was on a date? What if Jack was here?

“The guest room is all yours,” Aaron says softly. “If you want to talk about it, I’m here.”

You nod slowly. “I don’t know what to do.” You pause, rubbing your thumb over the condensation on the glass. “But I told them I’m not marrying them. But I...I didn’t tell them I was leaving. Or where I was going.”

“Good, that’s good.”

“No,” you shake your head. “It’s not. They’re gonna be mad. I can’t— Oh my god, I can’t go back. Not alone, they’ll—”

“Hey,” Aaron shushes you, walking around the counter to get to you. “Don’t worry about it right now. We’ll figure it out. I’ll go with you. You won’t be alone.”

“Thank you.”

+++

The next morning, you and Aaron head into the office early so you have time to grab your go-bag and change into your work clothes that you left in there.

Thank God for having a job like this where it’s normal to have a few changes of clothes, a toothbrush, deodorant, and anything else you need in a duffle bag under your desk.

You and Aaron are the first people in the BAU, so you’re able to grab your bag and head to the bathroom to change without any questions. Once you return, you stuff the bag back under your desk and sit down, ready to bury yourself in reports for the day.

But before you can, Hotch calls you into his office.

“What’s up?” You ask when you step into the doorway.

“We didn’t eat breakfast,” he says, and that’s when you notice the two coffees and muffins sitting on his desk.

“Oh,” you chuckle. “I completely forgot.”

“Me too,” he smiles. “Here, sit.”

The two of you eat the breakfast in silence, but somehow you don’t mind it. You’re not in much of a talking mood, anyway.

Rossi arrives next and stops by Hotch’s office, not at all surprised to find the two of you eating together, though he does join with his coffee a few minutes later. The silence vanishes with Rossi, leaving laughter in its wake as he tells old stories about Hotch.

When the rest of the team arrives, they follow the noise to Hotch’s office, and soon you’re surrounded by your family. Your real family.

Once eight-thirty rolls around, you all begin to disperse, back to your respective spaces to start working for the day, and everything feels normal.

And then, in a matter of seconds, it isn’t.

The second your eyes land on your partner standing down in the bullpen, you fall to your knees, scaring the shit out of Hotch.

“What happened?” He blurts, kneeling down to you. “Are you okay?”

“No,” you shake your head. “No, no, no...No, Hotch, they’re out there.”

Hotch doesn’t need their name. The fear on your face is enough.

About this time, you hear Derek’s voice growing in volume. The most you can make out is, “Put...down…!” And that’s when your blood runs ice cold.

You pat your right hip, hoping, praying, your weapon is magically there, even though you know it’s not. You put it in the safe when you got home last night. You didn’t have time to grab it before you ran out and drove to Hotch’s place. You left it there, in the safe, because you never think twice about it since it’s locked away.

But now…

“Don’t do this, man,” Derek yells. “Put. It. Down.”

“Where is she?” Your partner yells. “Tell me where she is!”

“I’m not telling you shit until you put the gun down,” Derek says, firmly. You’re frozen in place, on the floor next to Hotch’s desk as you listen.

“They have my gun,” you whisper to Hotch. “I didn’t think they— I don’t know how they knew the code, I change it every week, I thought—”

“Hey, hey, don’t worry,” Hotch shushes you. “You stay here. Do not move. Try to get under my desk if you can.” He pauses. “There’s an extra pistol underneath. I want you to grab it just in case.”

You nod, but then a memory of last night grips you. “No! You can’t go out there!” You hiss, gripping Hotch’s arm.

Outside, you hear Emily’s voice adding to Derek’s, trying to talk your partner down. It’s a scene out of a horror movie. Straight from your worst nightmare.

“They already feel threatened by you, they’ll just shoot you the second they see you.”

“Not when they already have five guns on them.”

“Let me come with you,” you offer.

“No. Absolutely not.”

“Aaron, I have eight years of experience talking them down. I know what I’m doing.”

Hotch doesn’t like that you’re right.

“Are you sure?” He asks.

You nod. You’re shaking all over, but you still nod.

“Okay. Crawl over and grab the pistol from my desk. Tuck it in your waistband, on your back. Go now.”

You stay low as you crawl over, finding the pistol strapped underneath his desk on the right side. Once it’s tucked in your waistband, you stand, facing the window. Hotch stands too, with his back to the blinds, and thank God they’re closed.

“Is she in there?” You hear your partner scream. “Is she with him?”

“Shit,” you mutter. “Shit, shit, shit, they’re gonna fucking kill me.” You hate that the possibility is very real. They have your gun. They could shoot you the second they see you. You’re not wearing any protective gear.

“No,” Hotch replies. “I’m not letting that happen.”

“Come out here, you lying bitch!”

Hotch looks ready to kill your partner himself.

“Babe?” You call out, putting on a false tone, the same one you always use when talking them down. “Babe, what are you doing here?”

You step into the doorway, feeling another frozen chill of fear shoot straight down your spine. They look crazed. Insane, even. Worse than you’ve ever seen, worse than last night, worse than the last eight years.

“Don’t babe me,” your partner seethes, but the gun is still trained on Derek.

You know it makes no sense, but you want them to turn the gun on you. Not Derek. Derek can’t be hurt because of you, not like this.

“Put the gun down,” you say, trying to stay calm and sweet, the way you usually have to be at home.

“I’m not listening to a damn thing you say,” your partner yells, and then the gun turns on you. “There he is.” The gun isn’t aimed at you. It’s on Aaron.

“Put it down,” Aaron’s level voice floats through the terror roaring in your ears. “I won’t ask again.” He shifts and you realize then that he has his own weapon trained on your partner.

“You won’t need to. Come out from behind my fiancé you coward.”

“She’s not your fiancé,” Hotch says. “And you won’t shoot her.”

“Want to bet on it?” Your partner lowers the gun slightly, now pointing it straight at your chest. Strangely, you don’t feel any panic surge through you. It’s telling. That even now, your head is telling you, they won’t hurt me, they never hurt me before.

“Don’t do it,” Derek yells. “I will shoot you, man. Don’t do it. You have six guns pointed at you right now. Do you really want to do this?”

The metal of Aaron’s pistol bites into your lower back when you shift on your heels. Your arms are frozen by your side, too afraid to reach for the gun.

“Put it down,” Rossi yells.

“You’ve got five seconds,” Derek adds. “Don’t make me get to one. Five. Four.”

Your partner’s fingers twitch on the trigger. Aaron catches the movement. Nods once when Derek says three. And on two, Derek pulls the trigger before your partner can do it first.

A broken scream rips from your chest when the bullet lodges itself in your partner’s side, your gun clattering to the ground. Derek steps forward and kicks the gun further away, out of reach.

Hotch lifts you around your waist and pulls you back into his office, kicking the door closed with his foot.

You’re numb to everything as he sits you down on the couch, wrapping his arms around you as you finally sob, letting out every scream that you’ve been holding in.

+++

Your partner is taken to the hospital to be treated for the gunshot wound.

Hotch tells you they won’t stand a chance at being acquitted, too many charges looming over their head already without the addition of domestic violence. You hardly hear his words, but you nod like you do.

He takes care of you while the commotion outside struggles to calm down. A blanket is wrapped around your shoulders, you hug a pillow to your chest, sniffling every few minutes as fresh tears cascade down your cheeks. Spencer brings you a mug of steaming tea that you barely manage to thank him for. Hotch thanks him properly for you before softly shutting his office door.

For months, you’ve been thinking about leaving them. For so long, you’ve wondered what life might be like without them. Now, you don’t know a thing.

You don’t know what to do. Where to go. Will you have to testify in court? If you do, will you have to talk about the...abuse? The abuse that you can barely bring yourself to label blatantly as abuse even though Aaron, your brain, everyone screams at you that that’s what it is — abusive behavior.

When you were a teenager, and even in your early twenties, learning about signs of abusive, unhealthy relationships, you never thought you’d end up in one. You thought surely you’d recognize the first signs and get out of there.

But instead, you did exactly what they said most people do. You brushed them off. You thought, oh, they just love me deeply, that’s all. They want what’s best for me, that’s all. They want me to be safe and protected, that’s all.

And that’s lovely, but there’s a difference. Between caring and controlling.

You never thought the difference would be so hard to see.

“Come on,” Aaron’s soft voice pierces through your thoughts. “Let’s get you out of here.”

You blink. “Where?”

“Wherever you want to go,” he replies gently. “Your apartment?”

Immediately, you shake your head. But then you pause. Because aside from your apartment and the BAU, you have nowhere else to go.

“Would you be comfortable going back to my apartment?” He asks. “I understand if it’s uncomfortable. I’m sure Garcia or Prentiss would be happy to let you stay with them, and I’ll gladly send them home with you.”

As much as you love Garcia and Prentiss, you strangely feel more comfortable with Aaron. After all, Pen and Emily don’t— or didn’t know about your partner’s behavior. Only Hotch knew.

“If you don’t mind, I’m...I’m okay with your place.”

“I don’t mind at all,” he smiles. “The guest room is yours for as long as you need.”

That makes you smile, though the expression feels foreign on your lips. “Don’t you have to stay?”

“It can be dealt with tomorrow,” he replies. “The paperwork will still exist tomorrow at eight a.m.”

“Okay,” you accept defeat. “Can I take this blanket?” You don’t like the idea of this weight leaving your shoulders.

“Of course,” he says.

You fall asleep in the car.

You didn’t mean to, but you were exhausted. And by the time you woke, Aaron had already carried you into his apartment. Startled, you gripped his arm a little too tight, but he shushed you carefully, letting you know you’re safe, he just didn’t want to wake you because you were sleeping so soundly.

He set you down on the guest bed where you tried and failed to get some rest last night, but now, you sleep like a baby.

+++

Months after the incident, the guest room at Aaron’s apartment has become your temporary home.

You still haven’t been back to the apartment you owned with your partner — even though their name is on the lease, not yours. You went once with Aaron to pick up your clothes and anything else important, but it was a quick trip. You were desperate to get out of there.

Aaron didn’t like what he saw. The broken glass, the dents in the walls. The way your body language changed immediately. Your unwillingness to return there is fine by him.

It’s a slow, uphill battle as you begin to heal. Your partner still sits in jail, awaiting their trial date. You know you might have to testify, but you know your team might have to be there as well, so that makes you feel better.

Aaron has been incredibly respectful of your space. You were the one who brought up the idea of carpooling to work, one of you driving every other day, to save on gas for the both of you. He had assumed you wanted to drive on your own and always have your car — which is true, but you didn’t mind riding with him.

He’s the only one your terrified brain doesn’t seem to be scared of.

And you’re not complaining. You’re grateful to feel a small ounce of safety after feeling every sense of unsafe for the past eight years.

+++

Your ex-partner’s trial comes and goes in the following three months. You did testify, along with the rest of your team, the verdict is guilty. Life in prison.

You wept on the steps of the courthouse from the sheer relief of it all.

“They’ll never hurt you again,” Aaron had told you and you didn’t believe him for one second.

Still now, as you know for a fact they are sitting in a prison cell, you have a small fear. But you think you always will.

You continue “rooming” with Aaron — that’s the best way you can think to put it — and you’ve come to really enjoy the weekends when Jack comes over. At the start, Aaron would try to take Jack out to the park to give you time alone, or you’d go spend some time with Penelope, but after a while, you started staying. And after a little while longer, Jack started warming up to you, and expecting your presence.

One weekend, you hear Jack and Aaron playing in the living room while you’re in Aaron’s office, trying to get some work done. And halfway through signing your name on a piece of paperwork, you hear Jack “whispering” to Aaron about you.

“Do you like her?” Jack whispers, but it definitely comes across as more of a soft shout.

Aaron’s eyes widen, and he presses his index finger to his lips. “A lot,” he says, but you don’t hear him — though you were straining pretty hard.

“Me too,” Jack giggles. “Is she your girlfriend?” He teases, poking his dad with his Lego sculpture.

Aaron pokes his son back with his own design. “No, buddy, she isn’t.” Again, you can’t hear him, but Jack’s question made your heart hammer in your chest.

You know you’ve had some feelings begin to develop because truthfully, they were blooming months ago, back when you began having dinner with Aaron. But then everything happened, and you still loved your ex, and things got too complicated.

Now, though, seven months out from the start of it all, the feelings are still there.

Aaron hasn’t made any moves, so you’ve kept silent. You don’t know how much of his good deeds are simply out of his own kindness. And you certainly don’t want to mistake it for something it’s not.

But kids pick up on things adults try hardest to hide.

You continue with your paperwork, listening to them continue to play.

It’s not until after Jack goes home to Hailey that his question is brought up, and it’s only because Aaron asked what was bothering you.

“It’s alright if you don’t want to talk about it,” he says. “But I’m here if you do.”

He’s always here. That’s what made you have a crush on him in the first place, years ago. He’s always there for anyone who needs him.

“I heard you and Jack earlier,” you start. “When he asked if I’m your girlfriend.”

Aaron sighs. “I’m sorry. I think it’s just confusing for him because to him, living together equals relationship since all he’s known is me and Hailey—”

“I’d like to be,” you interrupt his nervous rambling. “If that’s something you’d like, too.”

He blinks a few times, then smiles. “You…” He pauses. “Are you sure?”

“Aaron, I’ve liked you for so long and never said anything—”

“I’ve liked you for so long and never said anything,” he counters. “You’re serious?”

“Very,” you whisper.

When he kisses you, it’s what you’ve longed for all this time. It’s exactly what you’ve been yearning for. It’s exactly the kind of love you know now that you deserve.

Recovery has been messy, and will continue to be messy for some time, but you’ll have Aaron next to you every step of the way. Always.

[forever-rogue]

HI LOVE, PLS FOR THE AUTUMN PROMPTS #12 WITH BUCKY I’M WHEEZING

AN | This is one of my favorite prompts! You know I love Spooky Szn more than anything!

Warnings | mentions of dying (as a joke); reference to ptsd (in passing); use of pet name (bunny)

Prompt Used | “I paid $50.00 for this haunted house. I better die.”

Masterlist | Bucky, Main

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

"I can't believe you managed to convince me to do this," Bucky's face was pulled into a dismissal expression as you beamed at him. You tugged on his arm with excitement as the line moved forward, throwing him a smile almost as sweet as the Halloween candy that had been everywhere for the last two months. He looked over at you, and opened his mouth to say something but stopped to lean down to give you a kiss first, "all I'm saying is that for all the hype this place gets it should be good."

"It will be," you insisted excitedly, "and ugh...it's basically a premium haunted house so...its a little bit more than the average haunted house."

"Premium haunted house?" he raised an eyebrow in surprise as you took his hand and laced your fingers together, "what do you mean?"

"Well, ugh, this is supposed to be really creepy and realistic and actually scare you," you explained sweetly, hoping he wouldn't flip out too much when you revealed how much this place was going to cost, "so you know the saying, you get what you pay for…"

"Oh no," he appeared worried for a moment before being unable to conceal the grin on his face, "alright, out with it. What are you hiding, little bunny?"

"Well, this is the hip, cool haunted house and-"

"How much is it?" you gave him a little smile as he just huffed in bemused exasperation.

"Fifty dollars…"

"Fifty dollars-"

"Each."

"Fifty dollars each?!" for a moment his expression grew worried as you just give him a nervous smile, "you know, back when I was young-"

"I know, I know," you pulled him forward with you, "you walked twenty miles to and from school in old shoes, and you worked for a dollar a week. Well times are different and these days we're paying for premium haunted houses. Besides, I asked you on this date, so it's technically my treat. Just relax and have fun!"

"Fine," he agreed, "you're an odd one, little bunny. But I still love you."

"And just how am I odd?"

"Who enjoys paying money to get scared?"

"A lot of people apparently since haunted houses are a huge commodity!" you huffed and lightly stomped your foot as if to prove your point, "I promise it'll be fun! And if for some reason you're still Mr. Grumpy Boots afterwards, we'll do whatever you want."

"Fine," Bucky was never one to turn down a challenge, "for someone that gets frightened by her own shadow, you sure do love Halloween a lot."

"Halloween is everything baby," your eyes practically lit up at the mention of your favorite holiday, "you know it's the best time of year for so many reasons! Foods, the aesthetic, fall - all of it. You can't out argue me on this one!"

"I'm not even going to try and bother," you were nearing the ticket booth and growing more and more excited by the second. Bucky could practically feel your excitement radiating onto him as you clutched his hand tightly, "I'm glad you're happy. That's all that matters."

"I am happy. You make me so happy," you promised and pressed a soft kiss to his lips, "I love you, James. Hey - are you okay with this? Like really, if you don't want to, we can figure something else out."

"I'm okay," he promised, offering you a small smile, "really. I love you too. Now, let's go and get scared."

"Yay! Oh Bucky, you're the best! I love you so much," you almost jumped into his arms when he so easily acquiesced to your request. When it came down to it, you knew he would do just anything for you, "if this totally sucks, you know I'll try and make it up to you."

"All I'm saying is that I'm going to pay Fifty-five dollars for this haunted house. I better die," he looked at you with such a straight face, for a moment you couldn't tell if he was joking or serious; but you both quickly burst into laughter, "come on!"

“Alright - but don’t get mad when your wish comes true and you die!”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

“That wasn’t too bad at all,” you shrugged as you walked out of the haunted house, into the now chilly autumn evening. You stopped for a moment to admire the stars before noticing that Bucky was slowly trailing behind you, no longer at your side. You snorted lightly before crossing your arms over your chest and raising an eyebrow at him, “what? James...did you…did that actually scare you?”

“What?! No,” he insisted with a dramatic scoff as a grin stretched across your features, “that was child’s play at best. The costumes weren’t even that convincing. But I hope you had fun, baby.”

“I did,” you held out your hands towards him, still not convinced that he was telling the truth, “why don’t we-”

“BOO!” the voice behind Bucky was enough to make him jump out of his skin as he yelped and practically sprinted over to you. You almost doubled over in laughter as Bucky shoved you in front of him as a human shield, “you jumped! Actually jumped!”

“Sam!” Bucky groaned at the sight of his best friend wiping tears of laughter from his eyes as he walked over to you, his girlfriend Leila at his side, and shaking her head at his childishness. You exchanged a look with her and rolled your eyes at your silly boyfriends, “you’re an asshole.”

“Had to capitalize on the moment,” Sam laughed as Bucky sighed, “man, I can’t believe you didn’t realize we were behind you. What happened to the White Panther - too busy being scared?”

“I was...I was not scared!”

“You were too!”

“Boys,” you quickly interrupted the two of them, “why don’t both of you shut up and we can all go out and get dinner? Then the two of you can be idiots and argue and I can actually spend time with someone with a brain.”

“Hey!” they echoed in unison as you linked arms with Leila and the two of you skipped away to your cars. They would catch up soon enough.

“Love you!”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

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[a-write-for-soreeyes]

Making Bets | Seo-Joon [True Beauty] x Gender Neutral!Reader

summary: making bets with your boyfriend Seo-Joon was NEVER a good idea, but when a no kiss bet with a promise of a week of dates comes up, how could you refuse?

word count: 2280

a/n: sorry i’ve been so absent! it’s been really hard to finish writing anything i’ve started recently but i’ve got something in the works i hope you all enjoy! :D <3

———————————————-

Making bets with Han Seo-joon was never a good idea. But, when the prize was a full week where the winner gets to choose a week of dates… how could I say no.

“y/n I don’t get why you said yes to this bet, we all know you can’t even last through first period without a kiss from Seo-joon.” Soo-a said as she cuddled further into Tae-hoon’ side on the bench across the lunch table, “yah, we all know you guys are all over each other whenever possible,” Tae-hoon groaned out leaning his head on Soo-a’, “speak of the devil.” looking up from shuffling food around my tray I saw Seo-joon approaching the table trailing just behind Ju-kyung and Soo-ho’s linked arm forms looking a little more than disgruntled at the couple walking in front of him.

“Hello love birds, how nice of you to grace us with your presence on this fine monday morning.” Tae-hoon teased as the other couple sat next to me, Seo-joon taking the last spot to the right of Soo-a, across from me.

“What Seo-joon, not going to kiss your partner hello?” Soo-ho joked as he kissed Ju-Kyung’ cheek before picking food up from his plate and feeding her.

“Morning.” Seo-joon whispered, barely sparing me a glance before looking back at his tray. “Morning babe.” I whispered back.

“So y/n...I heard you and Seo-joon made a bet over the weekend. What’s up with that?” Ju-Kyung asked pushing her hair over her shoulder and turning my way, “oh,” clearing my throat, “Well, Seo-joon's friends were complaining over the weekend about how much we kiss each other in front of them, so we decided to make a bet on how long we could go without kissing each other, and whoever caves in first loses. But, the winner gets to decide a full week of dates the loser has to pay for.” I stated.

“OOO! That sounds fun! We both know you guys though, and we know you both wont last 3 days!” Soo-a joked, causing the rest of the table to laugh, “what plans do you have to win?” she continued.

“Well, I’m not sure to be honest,” I chuckled running a stressed hand through my hair, “I think I’m just going to try and focus on something else other than kissing him, even though that’s going to be hard.” I said laughing a little, sticking my tongue out at Seo-joon just to tease him.

“Well if you need any help y/n just let us know, Ju-kyung and I would be happy to help!” Soo-a said, as everyone returned to their lunches.

--------------------------------------------------

“y/n it’s been 2 days and you’re already starting to annoy us with all your whining about missing your ‘sweet precious Seo-joon’” Soo-jin joked, making a silly whiny voice at the end causing the other girls around the table with us to laugh at her terrible impression of me.

“Ya Soo-ho has been telling me about how annoying Seon-joon has been about this whole bet thing and he’s just about ready to kill him.” Ju-kyung laughed.

Sighing I took a sip of my milkshake, “I know, we’re so annoying but I don’t know what to do, I really miss him, but I don’t want to have to pay for all the dates we’d be going on.”

“Well why don’t you try to seduce him?” Soo-jin started, “I mean you’re closing at your work tomorrow right? Why don’t you invite him over for a late night swim after you close? I mean your boss shouldn’t mind if you don’t tell them right?”

“That’s,,,that’s not a bad idea Soo-jin.”

“Ya! And you can ask him tomorrow at school in front of all his friends! He’d be crazy to say no in front of them! especially to a makeout session in a pool!” Ju-Kyung reasoned, Soo-a shaking her head in agreement at our master plan.

“Alright then! Tomorrow at school.” I stated, taking the last sip of my milkshake.

--------------------------------------------------

“Hey baby.” I said walking right up to Seo-joon in the hallway, effectively stopping Seo-joon and his posse in their tracks.

“Oh, uhh, hey honey, how’s it going?” Seo-joon said, startled by my sudden appearance in front of him.

“Hey y/n!” one of Seo-joons friends said cheerfully. Paying his friend no mind I started to lean in closer to Seo-joon, causing him to lean his head back to avoid mine.

“So listen, I was thinking about going swimming at my work later? My boss is letting me close alone tonight since I’ve got the late shift?” I said leaning in closer with each sentence. Looking into Seo-joon's widened eyes at my statement.

Hearing his friends muffled laughing from behind him, he cleared his throat composing himself, “thanks for the offer baby but uh- i'm busy tonight.” he said hurriedly, before pushing past me and making his way into the classroom behind us, sitting at his desk hiding his flushed face and trying to ignore his friends teasing.

Looking over to Soo-a and Ju-Kyung I shook my head. Soo-a's expression turned to one of disappointment and Ju-Kyung letting out a hufft that our plan hadn’t worked.

--------------------------------------------------

“Soo-aaaaaa, our plan didn’t wooorrrrkk.” I whined, placing my head on my hand and leaning against the lunch table, “I don’t know what I'm supposed to do anymore, it’s been 6 days and I miss him.”

“y/n dude we know you miss him but you gotta stop talking about how much you miss him, it’s all you’ve been talking about since this whole bet started.” Tae-hoon complained.

“Listen, it’s not my fault that he’s so perfect and that every time I see him I just wanna kiss his perfect lips.” I whined my head slipping down my arm as I stared at Seo-joon from across the lunch room.

“Well if I were you and I wanted to avoid kissing my boyfriend I would just ignore him until he gives in.” Ju-kyung said between mouthfuls of rice and meat off of her lunch tray, “thanks babe.” Soo-ho said sarcastically as he looked at Ju-kyung blank faced, “no problem honey, only telling you the truth.” She joked before giving him a quick kiss on the lips, which he gladly accepted.

“I hate you guys and your cute-and-able-to-kiss-each-other, relationships.” I sighed, “well I guess ignoring him until he gives in isn’t such a bad idea.”

-------------------------------------------------

“Hey baby.” Seo-joon whispered as he placed his arm above me on the wall leaning in. “h-hey Seo-joon, how-how’s your day been?” I stuttered out trying to look him in the eyes, “My day’s better now that I've seen you.” He stated, gently lifting my face to properly look him in the eyes. “Listen honey, I have to get going to class but how about after school I take you to that book store you’ve been begging me to take you to”,

“Y-yeah, that would be nice thanks.”

“Good.” He leaned in to kiss me, feeling his warm breath fan across my face, causing me to flush. Closing my eyes I waited for the final push of his lips against mine, but instead felt the cold take the place of his warm breath as he suddenly pulled away his light laughter mixing with the small snickers of his friends watching the interaction, “see ya later baby.” he stated walking off down the hallway, his friends chasing after him, congratulation him on the little stunt he pulled on me. Seeing Ju-kyung, Soo-a and Soo-jin shaking their heads out of the corner of my eye, Soo-jin tutted “using your own tactic against you, that’s evil. but, man, you’ve got it bad for that boy. Good luck paying for all those dates.”

“I’m gonna have to try a lot harder to ignore him if he’s going to keep pulling stunts like that.” I sighed.

------------------------------------------------

It’s been 8 days since the bet had started, and it hadn’t gotten any easier to not kiss him. We’ve been effectively avoiding each other, this afternoon at school being the first time we’ve spoken since last thursday.

“Thanks for paying my bus fee. You didn’t have to do that” I thanked Seo-joon awkwardly as we took a seat at the very back of the bus.

“Of course, you’re my partner, you think I'd make you pay your own bus fee?” he laughed lightly, reaching out for my hand. Quickly yanking my hand away from his grasp I cleared my throat fixing my uniform shirt, looking away before I could get drawn back in by him.

“How was your day? You know besides great because now you’re seeing me.” he joked trying to drag my gaze away from the window to my left, “it was fine thanks, boring but you know how it is, stressed for the test on friday though.” I tried to joke, switching my gaze from the window to my fingers, playing with the hem of my dressshirt.

Sitting in awkward silence for the rest of the bus ride, we finally arrived at the small corner bookstore Ju-kyung recommended I check out.

“You know I could have just driven us here on my motorcycle right?”

“Well yeah but you know how I feel about your motorcycle, you’re gonna get killed on that think Seo-joon.” I joked, knocking his shoulder lightly, trying to lighten the mood from the tense bus right here. “Here let me get that for you.” Seo-joon said softly as he grabbed the door handle pulling it open for me to enter the warmth of the small store.

“Ah welcome!” the man at the front desk said as he pulled his headphones up from his neck to cover his ears, “FEEL FREE TO LOOK AROUND.” he yelled over the blasting rock music coming from his headphones.

Seo-joon and I quickly thanked him before walking further into the winding stacks of manga, making sure to be well out of earshot before bursting into fits of giggles over the yelling of the man at the front desk, calming down slightly before hearing him knock over a drink and letting out a few loud curses, throwing us back into our fits of giggles, leaning in Seo-joon's warmth trying to calm down.

Pulling away from him I cleared my throat before making my way further into the store fixing my uniform sweater to try and calm my warming face. Hearing Seo-joon clear his own throat before following a few steps behind me.

Running my fingers softly over the spines of manga looking for a title that grabbed me, I scanned the bookshelf spotting a title I recognized. “Seo-joon look!” I spoke excitedly pointing to the book I recognized on the top shelf, “My sister and I used to read them when we were younger, we would fight over our single copy for hours trying to read it before the other was able to.” I laughed lightly at the memory, not noticing Seo-joon's soft gaze watching me ramble about my childhood. Reaching up to try and grab the book I switched to standing on my tiptoes stretching my arm up as far as possible mumbling to myself, cursing my parents for making me so short. Just as I felt my finger tips brush the cracked spine of the manga a large hand came out of my right field vision grabbing the book off the shelf for me. “Ah thank you baby.” I thanked Seo-joon turning to him, reaching out for the book he still held in his much larger hands, however being slightly startled at how close he was actually standing to me.

Standing still for a few moments just looking at each other I broke the silence, “thanks for grabbing that for me. Could I please have the book now?” my voice coming out in barely a whisper. Not getting any sort of response from Seo-joon I asked him, “Seo-joon? What’s wrong ba-” not being able to get through the full sentence before feeling the breath knocked out of me as Seo-joon pressed his lips against mine, effectively ending the bet in one, beautiful, breathtaking, sweet kiss.

Pulling back after a few moments to catch out breath I looked up at him, eyes slightly closed still relishing in the feeling of the kiss we shared, a soft warm light coming from the shop's eclectic lighting fixtures, haloing him making him look more ethereal than I have ever seen him. “Sorry I didn’t ask you if I could kiss you, but I just saw you rambling about the book you were passionate about, and you look so cute with your hair falling in front of your face like it is,” he whispered lovingly pushing a strand of hair out of my sight, “and I just realized. I love you.” he stated, taking a deep breath in waiting for my reaction to his first confession.

Looking at me worriedly waiting for my reaction. “I love you too Seo-joon” I whispered, standing on my tiptoes, burying my face in his neck embarrassed at the first proper confession of our love for each other. Feeling Seo-joon smile into my neck he wrapped his arms around me, pulling me closer into his warm body, standing back, flat on my feet he buried me further into his chest, the both of us relishing in the warmth the others love provided.

“You know, I think our first date this week should be the movies tomorrow.” I started to laugh, feeling his chest rumble beneath my head he sighed lightly,

“You’re going to drain my bank account dry this week with these dates aren’t you?”

“Hahaha! Maybe I am. It’s only because I love you though.”

“I love you too”

[wisp-of-thought]

I met you when I was young. We were both young, but now I see it. I was 15 and you were older and kind and spent smiles like they cost you nothing. Maybe it was this illusion of abundance that originally tipped me into the fall but you were everything I never thought could exist for me.

My best friend introduced us in passing. I met you mid-morning in the middle of the week in the middle of a bustling hallway. Maybe this was the first sign that we would never be anything all the way. You made a joke about my name but it was all in good fun and to hear my name on your tongue made my palms prick. All I saw was your smile, brilliant enough to blind. It hurt to look at you too long, but I did it anyway. I was always a little bit of a masochist I suppose. You will learn this soon enough, when I love you so hard it hurts. When I manage to turn this soft thing between us sharp. But in fact, you won't. You won't learn this. And perhaps that is where we begin to fall apart. Or when I do. I begin to fall apart. Because we never seemed to do much of anything to you. We never seemed to touch you at all. While we tore me apart. Or I did. I guess it was always me doing the breaking, wasn't it?

We leave after last period to get lunch from the place near school you swear has the best fries. We miss 3 busses trying to figure out the route, the last one is on me because I can't run in flats with my school bag. While I walk, you sprint across the parking lot to buy our tickets but we're already too late. I don't want to watch the movie even if it's only 5 minutes in. I want to leave. I've wanted to leave since we waited for your food in awkward silence for 15 minutes but I swallowed and called it first date nerves even though we never said it was a date and I know now that it most definitely wasn't. And that's how things always were between us, weren't they? Me being let down by my own expectations of you. Me taking your kindness and taking and taking and taking even what wasn't there?

You let me pick what we watch instead since we're already here and pay for my ticket. I return the cost to you in the dark of the theatre. The movie is bad. In fact it's awful. I lean away from you and bite my nails during the sex scenes I didn't expect from the trailer. I wince every time I hear you shift, so sure you hate me as much as you hate the film, quietly begging for it to be over. We leave after it's done. I apologize. I didn't know it would be that terrible. You tell me we totally could have caught the original one we came to see and I nod, holding back tears that taste like shame. But you mean nothing by it.

It's summer, warm and sticky, walking across the parking lot.

I fell out of love with you then.

I didn't know it in that instant but looking back on it, this is the exact moment.

I realize there is nothing here. Nothing between us but space. There is nothing here, and the question is seeded if there ever was. The thought takes many weeks to root and bud. Months to flower and come to fruition. But it is planted here. Here, I keep searching for a feeling of comfort even if just in your presence but there is nothing to find. My stomach turns at my mother's missed calls, she's wondering where I am, who I'm with, and I'm panicking because I am still young. You offer me nothing but shrugged shoulders and it is worse because I know you mean well. Or rather that you mean nothing by it. And suddenly I know that I need you to say something. I need you to say something that matters right now. Or there will be nothing to come back to tomorrow.

But you don't. You don't walk me home. You walk me to the street across from my father's apartment building. Nod. One hand wave. See you later. Walk back across the street before the light can turn red again. You don't look back. And of course, I only know this because I look back. Stare after you. Not heartbroken yet. But gently being let down. For the next few days I would rather not think about you. I try many times to remake how it happened in my head but I'm grasping at threads. There is too little material to sew a new tapestry memory from stray comments and wayward touches.

After this butterflies were not summoned at the sound of your name, funny how easy delicate things die isint it. After this, I did not feel the tug of your orbit's gravity pulling me closer to you in a crowded room. Your words sounded less and less divine to me, I think this is because I started hearing what you were saying instead of what I wanted you to be saying. After this, the poetry about you turned sad, then angry, then ran mostly dry. There were no more tears shed over you in the bathroom around the corner from the theatre classroom because your promises were pretty coloured tissue paper flowers to me now. Good for decoration and conversation, but they would tear easy, for they were never meant to last. Never crafted to be put to the test.

We try again a few times. Every once in a while I find you at my locker at the end of the day and we try again. Painfully awkward, but we try again and again and every time I think it's over you're there again. Here is where you instill in me the inability to get over you all the way. You do it by accident. Or at least mean nothing by it. And I begin to understand this the hard way. It's hard because everything means something to me. For I have spent my life trying to squeeze enough from the nothings cast my way.

You ask me out of the blue if I'd like to go for bubble tea and I say I've never tried it so we do. My mother is at work and my sister is in school and no one is at home to expect me and I feel sickeningly giddy at the little rebellion. The silence is only half as uncomfortable as before. The other half-emptied of expectation and filled with acceptance. But the place is closed and this time I laugh at the inconvenience fate keeps gifting us. I tell myself it's a sign. One I'll look at later. We go somewhere else. Somewhere convenient. Somewhere familiar.

You buy me an iced coffee we playfully push the two dollars back and forth across the table as I insist to pay you back and you refuse. As a gentleman. As a friend. The spell is broken when you ask about a scar and I realize I could never tell you. Well, I could. But I don't want to. That someone like you would never understand. And you let the subject drop so easily. You let it all go so easily. Instead you check the bus schedule and walk me to my stop. You get on your bike and ride down the street and you don't look back.

Another time you meet me at the mall. My father asks to meet you so he does. You are the first boy I know that he ever meets. But of course, this means nothing to you. And so I try to let this mean nothing to me too. I link our arms together and it's easier to touch you. Without anticipation. You leave me after we eat cinnamon rolls and do not look back. And I always find myself looking after you. A part of me brought back to the piece of myself left in that movie theatre parking lot in the afternoon sun. But I don't ever really love you again after that.

And I am better for it.

We are better for it.

I am glad I still have you.

For I don't know what would have become of us if not for your careless gaze and fickle heart.

I do not know what would have become of me.

And I am grateful now, for the falling out of love.

- #1: reflections on falling out of unrequited love with him

[saturnsummer]

helpless.

han joon hwi does all he can to save kang sol a. kang sol a, for the first time, realises she’s not alone.

ao3 link

notes: this has been manifesting in me ever since i saw the scene of sol a fainting. i’m sorry it’s so long, but i hope the law school fans like it! it’s my first time, but i’m open to request and improvements. do share with your fellow solhwi fans if you like it! any grammar mistakes and all will be taken fully responsible by me.

edit: this is written by @inactiverat , which is MY secondary account. i did not copy this from someone else. both accounts belong to ME. i am republishing this on my primary blog to better manage.

words: 4130 words.

it’s been a terrible day for sol.

forget about a terrible day, it has been a week of horror.

she can’t remember the last time she laid her head on the pillow of her clean sheets and mattress. with her semester test coming on friday, she has spent the entire weekend cramming for her test. she has opted to sleep at her desk for no more than 10 minutes at a time. her eyes sting from the roll-on muscle relief ointment that she rolls on every few hours under her eyes. her head pounds and the only things she has eaten are ramyeon and black coffee. (no sugar, extra shots.)

sol sighs as she fixes another highlighter in her top bun. she’s been staring at the same question for hours. she looks over her desk, hoping to find peace by seeing a sleeping sol b, but only remembers that she went home. her tiger mom’s orders, since “she shouldn’t study with her roommate, who is at the bottom of the cohort.”

sol visibly frowned as she thought of that sentence. she doesn't need to be reminded every minute and second of her life that she’s the worst. that whenever she fails a test, the smarty pants are cheering due to the bell curve. that she barely scrapes through every class. that she blubbers and mutters answers like an idiot in every lecture.

that’s why she works so hard. to show that she doesn't need money or connections to succeed in this school. that a single parented girl, making enough to get by, holding a part time job can be like the rest. for her mom, she tolerated years of violent abuse, yet still being so strong for her children. for dan, who she so desperately misses and wants to find, even though she knows dan may never want to see her. for byeol, the reason why she decided to study law; the only human she loves in this lawless world.

sol knows she’s pushing herself too hard. yeseul made an effort to remind her to sleep via text. bokgi teased her once during a study group after mentioning she looks like a disheveled panda. even professor kim pulled her out of lecture to give her a talk to remind her to eat.

but joon hwi hasn't.

she internally scoffs. she doesn’t expect him to. (what does a second round judicial exam passer want to know about the worst student?) and maybe, she doesn't want him to. she wants to show him she can do it on her own. she can’t count the number of times he helped her with her grades and cases. studying alone without help was the smallest thing she can do to show him her independence.

thus, she found every moment to stay away. well, from him, in particular. she only came to lectures on time, sat at the back (as opposed to next to him) and left immediately. she returns to her dorm to study (ditching study groups with him in it) and only leaves in the odd hours to get drinks and food when she’s absolutely starving. she hears the buzzes and rings from yeseul and joonhwi, but only smiles when they ask about her inactivity. (“it was dead. i must have forgotten to charge it again.”)

she sighs in frustration and stands from her chair, grabbing her phone and keys out to the pantry area. she needed more caffeine, if she was going to survive this night.

what she doesn't expect to see, is han joon hwi, devouring his late night snack of ramyeon at the table. the shuffling of her furry slippers raises his head from his precious bowl.

“you’re still up?” he asks.

it’s too late to turn around and pretend she didn’t see him. so instead, sol just nods silently as opposed to her defensive remarks. joon hwi stops slurping his noodles and sets the bowl aside. preparing to walk to the staircase, his next question freezes sol in her steps.

“why have you been avoiding me?”

his voice is gentle and nowhere near angry. but concerned and fearful, as if he’s done something wrong to upset her. for a moment, sol feels like she’s in her first lecture with professor yang and is left speechless. (only now, there is no where to hide.)

joon hwi wasn’t blind to her actions. he noticed her absence when she didn’t sit next to him in lectures. he noticed that whenever he was there for a study group session, she wouldn’t; but when he would ask the others, they would say she was there for the ones he wasn’t. joon hwi was certain that sol was avoiding him.

and he couldn’t understand why.

until now.

joon hwi’s eyes examine the young woman in front of him. he’s certain that a middle school student could figure this out; kang sol a is overworked. her dark eye circles are prominent, puffy and her bloodshot eyes do nothing but intensify her lack of sleep. he noticed just how pale her lips look, as he walks over to her. how has she gotten skinnier too?

joon hwi’s certain that she’s avoiding him not because of something he said that annoyed her. but because he knows that she doesn’t want him to see her in this state. his eyes soften and heart aches from the amount of effort she's putting in to her tests.

for sol, he knows how much the tests meant. it was like her entire life depended on it. that’s why he always wanted to help her. he didn’t want to see such a talented person fall behind. she has already proven herself worthy with all the cases she has participated in. but joon hwi knows that no matter how many times yeseul or bokgi or him say how smart and talented and how she’s doing great, she will never be satisfied in this cold, competitive prestigious school. she will always think she’s the worst and has no potential.

“sol.” his voice firm and serious. sol swears she felt a chill run down. she mentally braces herself for this conversation that she has tried all means to avoid. only one person dares address her as just ‘sol’.

“when did you last sleep? or eat proper food?” his eyes are serious, yet soft and glassy. his voice is gentle and soothing. she closes her eyes and lets out a silent sigh. she is nowhere the mock court, yet she feels like she has taken the witness stand and the oath. lying is perjury, she hears herself say.

“i’m doing fine. i just need to do well on this test.” she lies through her teeth. well, it’s a half true and a half lie. it’s just up to him to pick out which is the lie and truth. joon hwi isn’t an idiot, and can read her emotions with just a single look. it’s an utter lie.

“i’m getting coffee.” she mutters to herself. it was the whole reason she came out, anyways. her sleeve is caught by him but she yanks it away forcefully. she doesn’t even know why she’s being so harsh and angry to him. all he’s done is just ask how she’s doing.

“you need sleep. not caffeine.” he spins her around by her shoulders, his eyes serious and almost frustrated. she fails to meet his eyes, afraid of falling apart before him.

“joon, just let me be.” she says harshly and pushes his hands off before running to get that extra potent coffee. it was the first time she has ever called him that, and it falls out just as naturally as the word ‘sol’ does out of his. sol doesn’t notice how wet her eyes are until she’s downstairs, grabbing cans of coffee from the vending machine. (pathetic, she thinks, getting teary because of lying to her best friend.)

joon hwi doesn't follow. and sol isn't one bit affected.

not. at. all.

-----

the next time sol sees joon hwi is in the morning. he’s carrying his books and has his backpack slung over his shoulder, leaning against the wall. sol braces herself. she knows joon hwi to be protective and caring. but for him to be waiting at the entrance of their dorm was downright surprising.

sol’s not doing any better. when the caffeine and sugar stopped her from staying late, she resorted to stabbing her hand to keep herself awake. when her hand got too red and bloody, she switched to another spot on her arm. underneath her hoodie is her arm with dried blood and bruises all over. she’s surprised she hasn’t had blood poisoning yet.

sol flashes the most natural smile she can on her face, pretending as if her argument with him did not happen a few hours ago. her head was numb, but hanging on with the ointment she applied at her temples. she needed to act okay. just so he would stop worrying and leave her alone.

“sol.” joon hwi’s voice calls, going forward and grabbing her arm to support her. sol is about to create a joke, laugh it off and pretend everything is okay, hopefully convincing him she’s doing better (even if she’s far from it.). but what she doesn’t anticipate is his hand accidentally squeezing the sore wound of hers,

she hisses as his fingers dig into her wound and he immediately lets go. joon hwi’s eyes well in concern, not knowing what he’s done that caused her so much pain. sol’s eyes meet his, uncertain and afraid, as if a secret has been exposed. she pulls her sleeve down and is almost regretting that when joon hwi gently lifts her arm and lifts her sleeve up slightly to expose her arm and hand.

joon hwi takes her good hand in his and drags her to an empty staircase not far from where they were. joon hwi notes the dried blood on her hand and gives a disapproving sigh. just what was she doing to herself? she draws her hand back and pulls her sleeve down, hiding it away.

“sol, you need to take care of yourself.”

“joon, i’m doing okay, i promise. it’s not a big deal.” her voice upbeat and slightly more energetic. joon hwi is about to call her out from lying, but she flashes a smile. “come on, how can an exam defeat me?”

“i’m going to be late.” she says and runs ahead of him, joining yeseul and yebeom in front. sol feels a gnawing guilt in her heart for lying, but she momentarily forgets about it as yebeom sweeps them into a conversation.

i’m sorry, joon. i really am. but i’m not going to burden you any further.

joon hwi is left, helpless and broken, watching the back of the woman he loves stray further.

-----

it isn’t a secret that joon hwi and sol a are good friends. everyone on campus is always shocked. joon hwi, the school’s top student. sol a, the school’s worst student. everyone would have expected sol b when they heard ‘kang sol’. after all, it made sense, didn’t it? the two best students in school.

but what would be even more shocking is that han joon hwi, second round judicial exam passer, is deep in love with kang sol, the klutz with the top bun.

joon hwi couldn’t deny the joy he felt whenever sol was around. it started with study group and tutoring and messages about school. then it became lunches every moment they could. now, he couldn’t go a day without seeing her, hearing her voice or even a simple text. he can’t remember the moment he started falling for the clumsy woman, but when he realised it, he knew it was too late. he was in, deep.

and that's why he can’t bear to see her suffer. that’s why he spends late nights studying with her even though he doesn't need to. that’s why he insist walking her home, even though he installed the camera. (“i miss byeol! that smart cookie...” would always be his excuse.) that’s why he calls her ‘sol’, and he lets her call him ‘joon’, even though no one calls him that anymore.

sol locks herself in her room and buries herself under multiple books after her lectures. sol admits it, she’s tired. she can barely keep herself together and her body is so weak she doesn’t know how she managed to survive the week with less than two hours of sleep combined per day. she can’t remember the last nap she had that lasted more than half an hour.

the guilt from lying is eating her inside. when she closes her eyes, she can only see how hurt joon hwi’s face looks when he saw her arm. taking a shaky breath in, she doesn’t notice the tear running down her cheek. what was she even crying about? lying? hurting her best friend? fatigue? she slams her head against her books, shaking her thoughts out. it’s already 3am, and she doesn’t have much time left.

“kang sol a, you need to do this exam, you hear me? if you want to pass out, do it later on in the afternoon! you have 9 hours till the test.” she scolds herself out loud. stabbing her arm once again, she jerks herself awake and writes her notes over and over. just 9 more hours.

later on in the day, sol finds herself seated next to joon hwi. but she doesn’t notice him. her eyes are too out of focus to concentrate on anything but the paper and pen she holds. when the teaching assistant makes an announcement to start, she races against time and scribbles furiously. her head throbs, but she clings on to her last ounce of sanity keeping herself awake.

-----

she’s worse. joon hwi thinks. much, much worse. her skin is paler than normal and her eyes are fluttery. with her sleeve pulled up slightly, he notices the wound on her hand more bloody than it was. he visibly winces. but it’s nothing to the hurt in his heart. he knows that he should be busy scribbling, but his eyes are slightly glassy and all he can think of is her bloody hand.

all he wants to do is to drag her away. to take her far from this school. he wants to hold her small body in his arms and cradle her as he tends to her wounds. he wants to tuck her into a soft bed and stroke her brown hair. he wants to tell her how he feels, how she’s perfect, smart and beautiful in his eyes. how sol has already had his validation, and no matter how many kang sols there are, he will only have one in his heart.

as the clock leaves a minute or so to the end, sol struggles to keep her head from falling. she just needs to finish the last sentence. her eyes are blurred and her head has never felt more tight and woozy. her ramyeon from 4am is threatening to make an appearance.

“sol, you’re bleeding.” she hears an familiar echoed voice say next to her. instinctively, she brings a hand up to her nose, and wipes it, revealing the bright red blood. she can’t care for her jacket sleeve and carelessly wipes even though her arm aches. just a bit more, she tells herself.

the voices around her blur as she feels hands on her shoulder stopping her. she pushes them off weakly as she finishes the last word on her paper. she lets out a breath of relief and pushes her paper away from her. she’s finally done. she can finally breathe and have that nap. someone calls her name, but she’s too tired to respond.

then her eyes rolls back and she crashes into oblivion.

joon hwi manages to catch her head before it hits the table as she slumps sideways. he scribbles his name on his paper before chucking his paper and hers towards the teaching assistant. yeseul passes a tissue over to joon hwi and shakes her, eyes getting teary. he gently blots her nose, soaking up the blood. the other students leave unbothered, with only their study group crowding around them.

the next hour is a mad rush in joon hwi’s head. they are frantic for an ambulance, but joon hwi just cradles her body in his arms and runs outside. “it’s faster to run.” he says before taking off. she’s light, way too light for her frame, even with the layered coats that she’s wearing. when he reaches the hospital, she’s laid on a stretcher and sent for checks while the nurses ask him to wait for short while outside.

and for the third time, he stands outside, clutching to a bloody tissue, helpless.

-----

joon hwi wants to beat himself over and over. he should have been more forceful with her. heck, he should have done more than just watch silently. he should have sent packed lunches, compiled his notes, offered to stay up with her. even after when he knows how much sol is suffering, he only stood by.

his eyes are teary when he is allowed to see her. she looks so small under those white sheets. the doctor mentions that they had to take her hoodie off to patch her wounds and insert her IV drip. “dehydrated on caffeine, lack of nutrients and fatigue.” the doctor tells him. he only nods as the doctor leaves him.

his group chat is pinging with endless messages and he takes a moment to update them. he sends a quick text that he’ll let them know when she’s awake. his hand brushes the stray hairs out of her eyes and as best as he can, arranges her bangs the way she likes. his touch is as light as a butterfly as he lets his fingers brush pass her bandages.

with the curtain closed around him, joon hwi lets himself crumble silently, as tears run down his face, hands gripping sol’s stained hoodie sleeve. he wishes he could do something then just watch sol lie on the bed. he knows she is okay, but knowing that he could have prevented this worse case scenario from happening makes him upset. he gives himself a few minutes to compose himself before taking his own hoodie and layering it on her.

and for hours, joon hwi sits by her bed in his own thoughts, once again helpless.

-----

when she wakes up, her head pounds worse than the time she got the worse hangover in school. her eyes flutter, drawing the attention of joon hwi. her mind is cloudy as she starts registering the antiseptic smell and bright lights. her eyes come into focus as she turns over to find a pair of warm brown eyes looking at her.

“joon hwi...?” she says with barely any energy.

“you’re awake.” joon hwi lets himself sigh in relief knowing that she’s awake. it’s already 6pm. the others should be on their way over soon. he sends a quick “she’s awake” to the chat and shuts his phone.

“i... finished my exam right?” the words come tumbling out of sol’s mouth.

“that’s all you are thinking of now?” the anger in joon hwi’s voice catches her by surprise. she lowers her hand and avoids his eyes. she’s really done it, then. she’s really pissed him off.

“aren’t you one bit concerned about your health? you could have literally died being so overworked.” his eyes are glassy. realising that he’s frightening her, he lets a sigh out. joon hwi helps her sit up and props a pillow for her. her fingers fiddle with the thin blanket of the bed. there’s no point being strong in front of him now, after all this.

“you know how much every test means to me.” she mutters in a voice so soft, it’s unlike her to be so...small. joon hwi knows under that strong woman with a fiery passion for justice, there’s a vulnerable little girl, insecure and uncertain. but this was the first time, he realised, that she’s opening up herself.

“i’m so tired, joon. i’m so tired of running this stupid rat race that i’ll never win. i’m so sick of putting everything into my grades and not receiving anything back.” her voice so small, staring at the bandages on her hand. was the pain worth it? she’s not sure now.

joon hwi doesn’t say anything back. how could he? this man was born for this system, to bring law back to the country. he can’t compare to her, who spends countless nights studying, while taking care of her family. all he can do is sit by her bed and provide comfort.

“my head hurts. my body aches all over. yet, i can’t seem to do well in my exams. tell me, joon. just how long must i suffer?” his heart is pierced with every word she says. she’s so broken. joon hwi then notices the small pearls of tears dripping down her face.

his hand reaches out and his thumb rubs away her tears on her cheeks. he doesn’t know what prompted this, but sol doesn’t swat his hand away. she lets him as her hand wipes her remaining tears away.

“i’m here now. you can rely on me.” he says softly to her. suddenly, he takes her small hand in his and squeezes it in comfort. sol’s slightly taken aback, but she doesn’t know why she feels fuzzy inside. she feels warm and for the first time, she feels her burden lifted. with much courage, she gives a small smile.

“noona!” they hear a familiar panicked voice ring and they instinctively draw away from each other. if joon hwi’s face is slightly red, sol doesn't notice. sol is swept away into arguing with bokgi with her health and a teary eyed yeseul. even jiho and sol b came, but stood by silently. (jiho notices joon hwi’s flushed cheeks and his too-bright smile that he finally realises is meant for kang sol a. he makes a mental note about it.)

joon hwi leans back as he watches yeseul and bokgi fuss with sol’s health. he suppresses a smile as he looks at sol’s light laugh, knowing how her burdens are slowly fading and lifted. that he’s finally managed to reach out for his soulmate as she sinks further. it was going to be a journey, but joon hwi will drag her, his sol, out from her darkness every time.

i’m going to be there, no matter what, kang sol. you will not fight alone. i will stay with you, even when you think you don’t deserve it. it doesn't matter if you feel the same towards me or not. if i can see you smile and laugh, it’s enough for me. your happiness is all that matters.

because kang sol, i just love you so damm much.

-----

sol doesn’t notice the switch in her jacket. when she leaves about an hour later with her friends to eat jjajangmyeon (extra pickles, she orders.), she assumes the jacket she has by her bed is hers. she doesn't notice the sandalwood and jasmine smell, as opposed to her pine scented fabrics. when joon hwi teases her and she argues back in annoyance, she’s carefree and light.

when joon hwi smiles at her with his sweet smile, she can’t help but think she’s so lucky that she has him, of all people, by her side. her heart skips a beat, and she’s certain that she feels more than friends towards him. that all this time, she has finally fallen for the cheeky and charming joon hwi behind his intellect.

she smiles back, teeth bared and eyes crinkled as they walk back.

after all, who is to stand against her now, when she has him by her side?

joon hwi, thank you for finding me no matter how much i try to hide away. thank you for believing in me when everyone didn’t. i know you like someone else, and it’s okay. because whoever that is will be so damm lucky to have you. to see you smile your charming smile is enough to put me at ease.

because han joon hwi, i admit, i have fallen for you. i’m in love with you.

-----

bonus:

“noona, they like each other, don’t they?” bokgi watches as sol a barks at joon hwi. joon hwi only runs ahead and buries his hands in his hoodie pockets while letting out light laughs and continues teasing.

“oh, they are so whipped for each other.” yeseul triumphantly says as she walks with the rest behind the not-so-obvious lovebirds.

well, this would be an interesting relationship to see unfold.

[study-coffee-chicago]

Country College (A Halstead Brothers + Halstead Sister Imagine; Part of AU-gust)

A/N: Thank you for reading! Remember to like/reblog and comment! I'm also donating all the proceeds that from my buy me a coffee account to Save The Children to help the children of Afghanistan. Buy me a coffee link here.

Also, here's the playlist of songs I listened to while writing this and some of these songs are actually mentioned in the imagine in case you guys wanted to listen while reading: Country College AU playlist.

I went on vacation and I swear, this entire imagine was based on stuff I did in Tennessee and country songs I listened to while there.

Anyway, enjoy!

"You got everything?" Jay asked you at six in the morning.

"For the last damn time, Jay, yes, I have everything," you answered as you jumped in the passenger seat of his truck and put your backpack at your feet and your tumbler of coffee in a cup holder.

"Jesus. I was just asking because I will not be turning this truck around," he said as he moved around the basket of snacks in the backseat so that the two of you could reach them easier. "Someone's cranky."

"Yes. When I finally got to sleep at 12:30 last night and had to wake up at 4:30, I'm gonna be cranky. Please tell me we're stopping for coffee."

"You already have coffee," Will said as he walked up to the truck. "Why do you need more?"

"Shut up. I know for a fact you drink way more coffee than I do, Mr. Med Student."

"Jesus, Jay. You sure you're gonna be able to put up with her for eight and a half hours?" Will asked.

"I dunno, man. Maybe I'll make her ride with you," he joked.

"Yeah, no way in hell that's happening," Will said.

"In all seriousness," Jay started, "stop for coffee in about an hour and a half?"

"Sounds good to me," you agreed.

"Same here. I only have to ditch you guys when we get like eight hours in," Will said.

"Gonna be weird not having you on the drive down, man," Jay mused.

"Yeah, but at least we can meet up at the rest stops and we'll  be in the same state."

"Are we gonna go?" you asked. "If you two were just gonna talk, I could've slept for an extra ten minutes."

"Holy shit," Jay muttered. He turned to Will. "Guess we should get going then."

"Yeah, see you in an hour and a half. Don't piss off the driver too much, Y/N."

You rolled your eyes. "Goodbye, Will."

Will got in his car and Jay got in the driver's side of his truck.

"Eight and a half hour drive plus traffic," Jay started as you both pulled out of the driveway, "so how do want to split it up?"

"I'm tired and I wanna sleep and I don't want to drive through Knoxville because I have no idea where to go," you answered as you pulled your headphones out of your backpack.

"Okay, Miss Sassy Pants. You can drive in the middle, through Kentucky. Might hit traffic, but we'll hit traffic in Tennessee, too, so we'll both have to drive through it. Just please, do not crash my truck."

"Relax. I know how to drive. Just make sure Will stays on your ass the entire time so we don't lose each other."

***

"And, we're officially in Kentucky!" Jay announced. "Time to change the music. At the next rest stop, we'll pull over and go to the bathroom and grab some lunch."

"Jay! You can't be on your phone while you're driving!" you yelled as he reached for his phone in the cup holder, which was also acting as the GPS...even though Jay claimed he could get there without it.

"Y/N, I'm fine. I've done this for three years now. I think I know what I'm doing."

"If you say so."

He turned on a song you didn't know.

"Got a truck, get it lifted," Jay started to sing.

"The hell is this?" you asked.

"Country music. Gets changed from pop to country the second we cross the border into Kentucky. Now, shh. This is a good song. You'll like it. It's upbeat."

Jay drummed his fingers on the steering wheel and sang quietly to Redneck Be Like by Thomas Rhett as he drove while you listened. He was right. It was a pretty good song.

"All day in the sun, always havin' fun, always gettin' stuck in that muddy river. Always got a buzz, always double cup..."

"You'll know the next one," Jay promised.

"And you know this how?" you asked.

"Because it's on Tiktok. When we get there, Adam and Hailey are gonna have to teach you some southern culture."

"So, I'm gonna need a definition of southern culture."

"You'll see when you get there. Now listen. I know you know this part."

Yeah we fancy like Applebee's...

Jay was right: you did know this song. It was Fancy Like by Walker Hayes.

"On a date night," you sang along. "Got that Bourbon street steak..." Jay joined in. "With the Oreo shake. Get some whipped cream on the top, too. Two straws, one check, girl I got you. Yeah we Bougie like Natty in the styrofoam..."

Five minutes later, you pulled off to a rest stop with a McDonald's nearby. Jay and Will filled up their vehicles while you ran inside to go to the bathroom. Once you were inside McDonald's and at a table eating, you asked Will if it was true that he and Jay always changed it to country music when they crossed the border into Kentucky. Will said yes, so you knew you were in for a long car ride. Then, you and Jay switched so that you were now the one driving and you were off again.

***

Hours later, Will took a different exit to get to Nashville and gave you and Jay a salute to tell you goodbye when he changed lanes and then took the exit.

"Not long now," Jay told you. "You excited?"

"Yeah, but a little nervous," you replied.

"Oh, don't be nervous. They're all really nice. And you've already met Hailey, so that helps."

"Yeah, she was nice. She had a cute little southern accent, too."

"One of the many reasons I fell in love with her in the first place."

Before Jay left for a weekend last summer to meet Hailey halfway and then stay in a hotel for a weekend to spend time with her, he finally told you the story of how he and Hailey met.

"Hey, we're goin' to the marketplace," Adam said on the first weekend of their junior year. "You and Will up for it?"

"Uh, Will's studying like normal. I'm up for it. Kim coming, too?" Jay asked.

"I promised her ice cream, so yeah, she's comin'. Baby, you ready?" he yelled down the hall.

"I'm coming, Adam!" Kim yelled back and then walked out of the bathroom.

"Let's go and make some bad decisions," Adam stated, causing Jay and Kim to laugh.

"We can't even buy alcohol yet, you dummy," Kim said.

"I may be a dummy, but you love me." Then, Adam gave Kim a kiss on the cheek.

"Please stop before I puke," Jay said and made a gagging face.

Adam rolled his eyes. "Let's get outta here."

***

Kim was laughing at a horrible joke Adam made while he had his arm slung around him. He had taken off his signature cowboy hat and had let Kim wear it because she forgot her sunglasses. Adam said he felt naked without it on.

They were walking towards Kilwin's when Jay spotted it: a homeless guy next to a blonde who couldn't be more than college age.

"Man, look," Jay pointed.

The three walked faster.

"No, this is for my friend back at the dorm," the girl explained.

"Lady, I'm hungry. Can I please just have your leftovers?" the guy asked.

"I'm sorry you're hungry, but this is for my friend."

The guy reached for the food.

"Hey, that girl sits behind me in my women and the law class," Kim stated.

Jay, Adam, and Kim took off on a run.

"Hey, baby," Jay said and slung an arm around the girl. He leaned in close to her. "Just go with it," he whispered in her ear. "You got Anna's food?"

"Yeah," the girl said hesitantly. But then, she realized that this guy was trying to help her out. And, he was pretty sure that the girl with him sat in front of her in her women and the law class. "Yeah, I've got her food."

Jay raised an eyebrow at the guy and then looked at Adam as if asking the man to try the two of them.

"Alright, well y'all have a good night now," he said and then turned around and walked away.

Once the man was a few shops down, Jay took his arm off of her. "Sorry about that. Just thought you might need some help," he said.

"Was greatly appreciated, thank you, uh..."

"Jay."

"Jay, well I'm Hailey. Nice to meet you."

He didn't miss her cute little southern accent and he loved it.

"You getting ice cream?" he asked.

"No, I uh was just textin' my roommate to tell her I'd be back soon."

"Well, I-- we'd feel much better if you came into Kilwin's with us. Just so that creeper doesn't come back."

Hailey smiled and agreed.

Kim and Hailey started talking about their class while Adam and Jay ordered their ice cream. Then Kim ordered.

"You want anything, Hailey?" Jay asked.

"Oh no, I'm fine, thank you, though."

Jay nodded, but then turned to the worker. "And can I also get a single scoop of chocolate in a waffle cone, please?"

"Sure thing." As she scooped it out, Hailey looked at Jay and he just shrugged.

When they got to the cashier, Hailey pulled out some money and tried to hand it to Jay.

"I've got it," he said.

"But--"

"Hailey, it's fine. I can pay for a little ice cream."

She loved the way her name rolled off his tongue.

"Okay." She took her ice cream cone.

"Hey, Hailey," Kim began when they walked out of Kilwin's. "Do you have friends you need to meet up with?"

"No, I was just gonna head back to my dorm," she replied.

"Oh, did you drive?"

"No, I walked. It's only like a twenty-minute walk from the sophomore dorms."

"Well, after all that, I'm pretty sure we'd all feel more comfortable if you rode home with us."

"I don't know..." Hailey trailed off.

"Those dorms are only like five minutes away from the house we stay at. And, it's on our way there anyway. Please, just come with us."

Hailey sighed. It would be a lot faster than walking. "Okay."

Then, they finished their walk to Adam's truck and the two girls got in the backseat and the two boys got in the front.

And that is how Jay Halstead met the sweet Georgia peach that is Hailey Anne Upton.

***

Jay, Adam, Will, Kim, and Hailey were all at a sports bar one Saturday night in October. It was loud, it was rowdy, everyone was going crazy over the football game on tv, and Hailey was totally over it. And Jay noticed.

"Hey," Jay whispered from his seat next to her. "You wanna get outta here?"

She turned and raised an eyebrow at him. "You'd wanna leave and not finish the game?"

In the past two months, Hailey had been spending a lot of time with Kim, and by default, she had been spending a lot of time with Adam, Jay, and Will. She will admit going over to their three-bedroom house they all rented together was a lot better than being stuck in her small dorm with her roommate. So, she went over there quite a bit to study with Kim. And, turns out she and Jay were both law studies majors, so they had a lot of the same classes, but they were in different sections, so they did a lot of studying together, too. And, she knew like most college boys, Jay loved his football. Not as much as Adam, but he watched it whenever one of his teams were playing. Which, was Chicago or Tennessee.

"Yeah," Jay started, "it's kinda loud in here anyway. And, it's just Tennessee playing. I'd be more likely to stay if the Bears were playing."

"Okay, let's get outta here. I know a great little diner we can go to for milkshakes. Pretty sure they're open until 11 and it's only 10, so we should be able to make it."

"Adam," Jay said over the game. Adam turned to face Jay. "Me and Hailey are gonna get out of here. I'll see you back at home."

"See you," Adam said and then turned back to his game.

"Guess we know where his loyalties lie," Hailey laughed.

The two of them stood up from their chairs at the table.

"You better get my friend home safe, Halstead!" Kim yelled.

"Yes ma'am," he said, borrowing a line from Adam. "You've got nothing to worry about."

Then, the two of them made their way out of the local sports bar and to Jay's truck.

***

"You've gotta be kiddin' me," Hailey said as the two of them walked up to the diner. "They're closed. Closed at 10 and not at 11. I'm really sorry, Jay."

"That's okay. Got anywhere else you wanna go? Or I can just take you back to your dorm if you want?" Jay suggested.

She sighed. "Just take me back I guess."

The two of them walked back to Jay's truck and got in. Hailey gasped at the song that was on the radio.

"What?" Jay asked, quickly turning to look at Hailey.

"This is my favorite song!"

Lights go down, wheels go around. I'm taking you home. Hoping for a slow song to come on the radio now.

Slow Dance in a Parking Lot by Jordan Davis continued to play through the speakers of Jay's truck.

"What's it about?" Jay asked.

"Slow dancing in a parking lot."

Jay listened to a few more lines and then decided to turn up the radio and jump out of the car.

"Jay, what are you--"

But he was already at her side of the car and pulled her door open.

"Dance with me?" he asked, sticking his hand out for her to take.

"What?" she laughed as a huge smile grew on her face.

"You said the song's about slow dancing in a parking lot and we're in an empty parking lot, so, why not recreate the song?"

Hailey laughed once more and shook her head and then grabbed Jay's hand. He helped her out of his truck and then she wrapped her arms around his neck and he wrapped his arms around her waist and they swayed to the music.

"Slow dance with you. Spinning you round by the Walmart sign and moving our feet over the painted white lines. Getting close to you. Making the most of whatever we got, even if it's just slow dance in a parking lot," Hailey sang quietly.

"Spin," Jay said as he held his hand up.

"What?"

"Spinning you round just like the song says."

Hailey laughed and reached for his hand and did a spin.

"Beautiful," Jay complimented.

"Yeah, right. That's was probably the messiest spin known to man."

"Well, um, it was beautiful. You're beautiful, Hailey."

She was glad it was dark so that Jay couldn't see the heat that rose to her cheeks.

"You're somethin' else, but thank you." She rested her head on his chest as they swayed to the rhythm of the rest of the song.

The song ended and the broadcaster started talking.

"Can I kiss you?" Jay asked.

"What?" she pulled away from his chest.

"I asked if I could kiss you. Was that too much? You know what, just forget--"

"Yes, Jay, kiss me," Hailey smiled and then she and Jay both leaned in.

It was just a peck, but it was their first kiss and despite it being in a dark parking lot late at night, it was still magical.

"You know," Jay began once the quick kiss was over, "there's a Walmart across the street. What do you say we go grab pints of ice cream from there and then you can show me your favorite country songs?"

"I'd like that. Adam didn't show you enough?" she asked.

"I've only got like thirty I like. I need to expand my horizons."

"Okay, let's go."

They held hands in Walmart and then picked out their respective pints of ice cream. Then, they went back to the parking lot of the closed diner and Jay plugged in the aux, allowing Hailey to show him her favorite country songs while they ate their ice cream from the pint and even shared with each other.

Hailey knew nobody would have a first kiss story like that.

Then, at the beginning of the winter semester, Hailey's roommate decided not to live in the dorms anymore. Hailey couldn't afford to pay for a dorm all by herself, so Kim offered to let her stay with her, Jay, Adam, and Will. So, that's how she ended up living with her boyfriend and sharing a room with her best friend, Kim Burgess.

"We're here," Jay announced. "Well, actually, we're a few streets away, but that's one of the lecture halls on your right."

You looked out the window to see a big red and brown brick building with white pillars on the steps. There was also a white sign telling you what building this was.

"Wow," you said in awe. "It's like those old-fashioned colleges. I love it."

"Well, we'll give you a tour and help you find your classes sometime this weekend before classes start on Tuesday. That way, you aren't getting lost on the first day. But, we'll head to the house for now and get all unpacked."

"Sounds good to me."

Five minutes and a few back roads later, you pulled up to a simple two-story brick house.

"Alright, let's get our stuff out and get inside," Jay said.

You stepped out of the truck and started grabbing some stuff out of the back seat.

"I'll jump in the truck and hand you the suitcases. Think you can grab them when I hand them to you?"

You nodded.

"Halstead!" you heard someone shout and you and Jay both whipped your heads around to see Hailey and Adam walking out of the garage and toward the two of you. Adam, well who you assumed was Adam, was carrying two cowboy hats and he and Hailey each had one on themselves.

"Catch!" Adam said and threw one to Jay where he was standing in the box of the truck. Jay easily caught it and placed it on his head.

Adam walked over to you.  "And one for you, darlin'," he said as he placed the hat on your head.

"Thank you," you said. "But I thought Kim was darlin'," you said. It'd make sense because if this guy was in fact Adam, then he and Kim were dating.

"You didn't tell her?" Hailey asked Jay.

"Didn't think there'd be a need to." Jay shrugged.

"Tell me what?" you asked.

"Well, Adam calls every girl darlin'," Jay explained. "It's just normal for him. And, down here, you're gonna get a lot of huns, sweeties, and sweethearts. A lot of waiters and waitresses do that here."

"And what do they call you two?" you asked, motioning to Jay and Adam.

"Sir," they said in unison.

"Oh, and you'll occasionally get a ma'am," Hailey added. "But, that one's rare because we don't look old enough to be called ma'am."

"Okay. And, uh, not to be rude, but what's with the cowboy hats?" you asked.

"It's a tradition we just started last year," Adam explained. "We unpack, wear cowboy hats, and drink moonshine. Oh, I'm Adam by the way, darlin'."

"Nice to meet you. I'm Y/N."

Jay handed you a suitcase and you set it on the ground. Then, you did the same thing with two more suitcases.

You grabbed your backpack from the front seat, your duffle bag from the back, and your two suitcases.

"Here, I can take those two for you," Adam said.

"Oh, okay," you said and then allowed him to take the two suitcases from you. So this is what Jay meant by southern hospitality since Adam was from Tennessee and all.

"Jay, lemme take your suitcase," Hailey said.

"Baby, I've got it," Jay argued as he jumped out of the box of his truck and closed the tailgate.

"The hell you do," she argued. "I see all your other stuff in the backseat and that basket of snacks you gotta carry in, too. Just lemme take your one suitcase."

"Let 'er take the suitcase, Halstead. Best to listen to your lady," Adam said.

"I like Adam already," you laughed.

He let go of one of the suitcases and tipped his hat. "Thank you, darlin'."

This caused all four of you to laugh and then you all went inside carrying both yours and Jay's stuff in one trip between the four of you.

***

"Shine in the fridge?" Jay asked after you and he had brought all your stuff to your room.

"Shine, Jay? How southern do you get when you're here?" you asked.

"Oh, he gets pretty southern, hun," Hailey said.

"See?" Jay asked as he pointed to Hailey. "Told you you'd get called hun."

"So, Adam's thing is darlin' and Hailey's is hun?" Hailey nodded. "And it's because you're from Georgia and he's from Tennessee?"

"That's right, darlin'," Adam confirmed and then turned back to Jay. "Yeah, shine's in the fridge. And Kim just texted and said she's on the way back with pizza."

"You got apple pie flavored shine?" Jay asked.

"Hang on. I'm just gonna grab 'em."

The three of you sat down on the bar stools at the counter and waited for Adam to pull them out.

"Alright," Adam started after he put the bottles of moonshine with sip lids on the counter. "We have peach for Miss Georgia Peach." He passed the peach bottle of moonshine to Hailey. "We've got apple pie shine for me and Jay. We've got strawberries and creme for Kim because that's her favorite." He turned to you. "And for you, I got you blackberry because it's not that high of a proof, so it's not that strong." He slid the jar to you.

"Nuh uh," Jay said quickly and grabbed the bottle.

"What the hell, Jay? Give it back! Adam said it's for me, not you!" you argued.

"Last I checked, you're only eighteen."

"Last I checked, Dad's not here. And I know for a fact you drank before you were 21, so pass me the blackberry shine, please."

"I'll take the first sip and then you can have it." He made sure the straw part was open and then he took a sip. "Adam, that shit's like a chaser compared to the apple pie one."

"I know. That's why I got 'er that one," Adam said.

You heard a door shut.

"Pizza's here!" Kim announced.

She walked into the kitchen with three boxes of pizza.

"I got us three pies," she said as she set them down on the counter. "We got one pepperoni and green olive, one supreme, and one meat lovers." She turned to you. "And you must be Y/N. I'm Kim. I see Adam already got you started on that Tennessee moonshine."

"Nice to meet you," you said. "You're from New York, right?"

"Yup, not New York City, though. More upstate."

"Of course she's from New York, Y/N!" Jay exclaimed. "Who else would call pizza a pie except for a true New Yorker?"

"I'll take that as a compliment. Thanks, Jay."

Jay raised his bottle of apple pie moonshine in a fake cheers and then took a sip.

"Now that's the strong shit I need to start off this semester right," he announced and then set the bottle down.

"Oh, and if your brother didn't tell you yet, he turns into a borderline alcoholic when he's at school," Kim told you.

You laughed. "He didn't tell me that, no."

"Better than being a caffeine addict like Kim and Hailey here," Jay argued.

"Shut up," Hailey said. "You know you're a caffeine addict during finals week just the rest of us."

"I was a caffeine addict in high school, so we'll see what happens," you shrugged.

Kim grabbed a stack of paper plates and set them on one of the pizza boxes. "Dig in. Oh, Y/N, did Adam get you the blackberry flavored moonshine?"

"He did. Haven't tried it yet because Jay has yet to give it back to me."

Kim quickly reached down and grabbed the jar of moonshine.

"Hey, Kim! She's only 18!" Jay protested.

"So? I know you drank an insane amount during your freshman year. So shut it." Kim popped open the sipping lid. "Taste."

You took a sip. It did taste like blackberry, but it was also sort of strong, but it didn't burn your throat that bad like you had read in books that alcohol did.

"This is actually pretty good."

"I know, right? And, me and Hailey will let you try ours when we help you unpack," Kim said. "But, do not try the kind the boys have because it's nasty."

"Baby, I don't know what you have against apple pie moonshine, but it's good," Adam said and then took a sip of his moonshine. Kim rolled her eyes. Adam leaned across the counter. "The New York in her is coming out, darlin'."

"Oh, shut up," Kim said and reached over to steal Adam's cowboy hat off his head.

"Baby, now I feel naked without it," Adam argued and tried to reach for the hat.

"Sucks for you. Now eat your pizza before it gets cold."

***

"Morning," Jay said when you walked into the kitchen the next morning. "How'd you sleep?"

"Good. it's nice not having to share a room with anyone like you and Adam, and then Hailey and Kim have to. It was fun having them help me unpack last night, though," you said.

Last night, Kim and Hailey had helped you unpack and when you mentioned that you didn't really know any country music, Hailey pulled up all of her favorite country songs to play for you. You especially liked Girl in a Country Song by Maddie and Tae. They showed you the music video for that song and it was about how, in most country music videos, girls had to dress up in little skimpy outfits and have the boys just stare at them all day. So, in their music video, they changed the roles, and the guys had to dress in skimpy clothing in the music video. It was pretty funny and the song was catchy.

"Let me guess," Jay began, "Hailey showed you some good country music?"

"Yup. The songs she showed me were pretty good, pretty upbeat. Didn't sound like a cat being put in a blender like old-fashioned country, so I guess that's good."

"What do you have against old-fashioned country, darlin'?" Adam asked as he walked into the kitchen.

"I dunno." You shrugged. "Too slow for me and I just don't like the voices I guess."

"You know what we ought to do, Jay?" Adam asked and Jay raised his eyebrows, silently telling adam to continue. "We should show her all the songs that are mentioned in What's Your Country Song."

"Wait, wait. I think I know that one. I think Hailey played it for me last night. Is it the one that mentions Chatta- Chatta..."

"Chattahoochee?" Adam asked.

"Yeah, that funny word. What even is that anyway?"

"It's a river that runs through Georgia," Jay answered. "Pretty sure Hailey used to go tubing down it like we're gonna do today."

You furrowed your eyebrows. "We're going tubing? Like behind a boat?"

Adam laughed. "Christ, Jay! Do you tell her anything?"

"He doesn't," you answered. "So, explain, one of you."

"Alright, I'll do it," Jay said as he poured milk on top of a bowl of Raisin Bran. You looked at him intently. "What we do is, the first Saturday that we're all together before school starts, we go on tubes and float down the Tennessee River. We bring a cooler full of snacks, sandwiches, booze, and water, and a waterproof speaker and we just have a fun time. Oh, and this year, you're the DD."

"Me?" you asked as you pointed to yourself. Jay nodded. "But I don't know where to go! I haven't even been in Tennessee for a full 24 hours yet!"

"Kim's like the mom of the group," Adam supplied. "So she'll still be pretty lucid and could probably drive if she needs to. But, she'll at least be able to give you directions on how to get back here."

You sighed. "Good. That makes me feel a lot better."

"Where are the other two girls anyway?" Adam asked. "They're usually up a lot earlier than we are when we go on the river."

"I think they were a little buzzed last night," you said. "Might still be sleeping."

While you were unpacking, you took a few sips of your jar of blackberry moonshine, but not a lot. You'd never really drank before, much less drank moonshine and you didn't really feel like puking from being drunk or having a killer headache from a hangover...at least, that's what you thought happened from what you had read in books and seen in movies and tv shows. But, Kim and Hailey had each finished like a quarter of their jar, so they had been buzzed last night. They weren't drunk because they could still walk in a straight line and knew what they were talking about, but they did have little dopey smiles on their faces while they helped you unpack.

"She's right," Kim said as she and Hailey walked into the kitchen. Hailey's hair was wrapped in a towel, alerting you that she had just taken a shower. "Adam, can you grab me an Advil?" She took a seat on a stool and put her head in her hands. "My head is fucking killing me. I didn't even think I drank that much."

Adam laughed. "You do this every semester, baby. First shine of the year and you always drink a little too much." He handed her the pills and a cup of water and Kim quickly washed the pills down.

"I just need some coffee," Hailey announced.

"We know, you don't get hangover headaches," Kim groaned.

"Yeah, but I feel exhausted all day. Everyone goin' for coffee? I'll make a bigger pot if that's the case."

Everyone said yes and Hailey started on the coffee.

***

"Okay, we got the tubes, the speaker, swimsuits are on, we have the towels, cooler," Jay rattled off as the five of you sat in his truck. "Anyone double-check the cooler?"

"I did," Hailey said. "We got water, the same shine from last night, some white claws, the sandwiches me and Kim made for everyone, chips, and a few other snacks."

"And I threw in a little first aid kit with bandaids, alcohol swabs, Neosporin, and other stuff. And I've got the sunscreen, too," Kim said.

"See, what'd I tell you, darlin'?" Adam asked as he turned around from his spot in the passenger seat. "Kim's the mom of the group."

"I'll take that as a compliment," Kim said. "It means I'm responsible and prepared."

"Those two would get so damn sunburned and dehydrated if it weren't for Kim," Hailey said as she pointed to Jay and Adam in the two front seats.

"Thanks, Hails," Jay replied sarcastically. "Real nice."

"You're welcome," she said with a smile.

You leaned your head against the window. You were supposed to get stuck in the middle, but seeing as you got car sick easily, Kim said she'd switch spots with you.

"You okay?" Kim asked.

"Yeah, just, Jay really needs to turn on the AC before I throw up from motion sickness and how damn hot it is in here."

"Least you got that cowboy hat to puke in if you need to," Jay laughed as he reached for the AC. "You better not puke in my tuck or you will be walking home."

Adam smacked him upside the head.

"Ow!" Jay exclaimed and took one hand off the wheel and rubbed the back of his head. "The hell was that for?"

"Dude, be nice! Look at her!" Adam exclaimed.

Jay looked in the rearview mirror and saw you leaning your head against the window with your eyes closed and pinching your nose. You groaned.

"Here," Jay said and tossed you a blue bottle of Gatorade from his cup holder. "Drink this. Get you some hydration and electrolytes."

You took a few sips and then handed the bottle back to him. "Thanks."

"Mhm."

Kim moved the vents so that the AC was blowing on you more. "That help?"

"Little bit, thanks."

"Think you'll be good to go down the river?" Jay asked.

"Yeah, because then I won't be trapped in a hot box going sixty down the road!"

"She's right about that," Adam agreed. "You'll be lucky if you go five miles per hour, darlin'."

"Alright, so the motion sickness should stop. Thank God."

"Just rest your head against the window and listen to some country music," Jay said. "Speaking of that, who's controlling the music on the river?"

"I got it," Adam volunteered. "Everyone give me a song and I'll get the queue started."

***

You had been going down the river for about half an hour now and had finished a bottle of water and eaten a banana, too. You felt fine now. Adam was right, you were going slow enough that you didn't get sick, and you also weren't in the backseat of a truck.

"Hey, Kim," you started, "can you pass me my moonshine?"

"Mhm," she said. You guys had tied a cooler to a tube, which was then tied to Kim's tube. Because, the boys figured that between the five of you, she was the most responsible. They toyed with tying it to your tube because you probably wouldn't get shitfaced (like the boys most likely would) since you were underage, but you had never gone tubing down the Tennessee River before, so they decided on Kim. "Here, Hailey, hold my white claw."

She passed Hailey her drink and then maneuvered the cooler towards her, opened it, and handed you your moonshine.

"Thank you," you said and popped open the sip lid and took a sip. "Ahhh."

"Hey, drink it slow," Adam warned, turning towards you and practically yelling over the music. He and Jay were in front of the three of you girls so they could tell you if there were a ton of rocks coming or if it was super shallow coming up. "Heat makes getting drunk a lot easier because you keep drinking it because you're so thirsty."

"I don't think that's how it works, man, but whatever you say," Jay laughed.

Another song started.

"Hey!" you yelled. "I know this song!"

"Yeah, because it's old as hell," Jay laughed.

"Shut up! I like it!"

Baby you a song you make me wanna roll my windows down and cruise. Down a back road, blowin' stop signs through the middle every little farm town with you.

"And this brand new Chevy with a lift kit, would look a hell of a lot better with you up in it. Baby you a song, you make me wanna roll my windows down and cruise," the five of you sang Cruise by Florida Georgia Line while holding your drinks in pure happiness.

Because of this, you didn't notice Jay drifting off to the side toward the trees.

Jay let out a sinister laugh as he got closer. "C'mere, buddy, c'mere." The black snake stuck his tongue out and hissed. "Yeah, I know, you wanna scare Y/N, too." Jay held his hand out toward the snake. "I'm nice, I promise." The snake slithered and went up on Jay's hand and started up his arm. He turned once most of the snake was on him. He started using his other hand to paddle himself back toward the group. "Y/N!"

You turned and looked at him. You saw the snake on his arm and tears pricked your eyes. "No! No!" you shouted.

Snakes were your biggest fear and knowing that they were in the river that you were in right now was absolutely terrifying to you. And, with each paddle, Jay and the snake were coming closer and closer to you.

"Jay, please, please!"

Adam turned and looked at Jay and then back to you. "She scared of snakes?" You quickly nodded as tears ran down your face. "Jay! Stop! She's terrified!"

Jay laughed. "No!"

He was coming closer and closer to you.

Adam quickly paddled over to you and went in front of you. "I won't let it go near you, darlin', don't you worry."

"Uh huh," you said and grabbed onto Adam's arm in complete and utter terror.

Unknown to Jay, Hailey was making her way to him. But, she was behind him, so Jay couldn't see his girlfriend coming up behind him with her empty bottle of white claw raised high in the air.

He felt it before he heard her.

"Don't." Smack on the head with the empty can. "You." Another smack on the head with the empty can. "Do." Another smack on the head with the empty can. "That." Last smack on the head with the empty can.

"Ow!" Jay yelled. "Hails, stop!"

"Put the fuckin' snake back and stop scarin' the daylights outta your little sister or I will keep smackin' you, Jay!" Hailey told him.

"Fine, I'll put it back," he groaned.

"Hailey, keep that can raised above his head. If he tries to come back here, hit 'im again!" Adam yelled.

"You got it!" Hailey said. "Hear that baby? Your head is gonna come in contact with this 'ere empty white claw can again if you don't get a move on."

"I'm going, I'm going," Jay grumbled.

"Good, then you won't get smacked again."

"Just for all that," Adam started, "you wanna pick the next song, darlin'?"

"Can you play Better Dig Two by The Band Perry?" you asked. "That counts as country right?"

"Sure does, darlin'." He started messing with his phone. "Comin' right up."

"I told you on the day we wed, I was gonna love you 'til I's dead," you started to sing. "Made you wait 'til our weddin' night, that's the first and the last time I wear white."

"Snake's gone! Made sure he put it down and I even watched it slither away!" Hailey announced. "Put me in the ground, put me six foot down," Hailey joined in after she had finished yelling over part of the first verse.

"And, as for you, Jay," Adam started over the music and all of you singing. "You don't get to pick a song for the next hour."

"Son of a bitch," Jay muttered.

"Hey, you brought this one on yourself, buddy. So just sit back, relax, listen to our music choices, and enjoy your shine."

***

One week later

"And we're here!" Adam announced as the five of you pulled onto a long dirt driveway. "You ready to ride some horses, Y/N?"

"I dunno," you said. "I've never ridden a horse before."

"Oh, Adam'll make sure you're super safe," Kim reassured you.

"Okay, so whatever horse I ride won't buck me off?"

"Oh no," Adam said quickly, "we'll put Jay on Buck."

"Like hell you will!" Jay argued from the backseat.

Despite the studying the five of you had to do, you were at Adam's childhood home. Adam's parents had rented a cabin in North Carolina for the weekend since it was Labor Day weekend and needed someone to watch the five horses they owned.

His parents used to own a riding place with multiple horses, but since their kids got older, they stopped doing it because they were getting older and couldn't give the tours anymore. So, they sold most of their horses, left five so that their kids could ride them with their friends, but still kept the house and the land. Whenever Adam's parents went out of town, either he or his sister would come and stay over at their childhood home and take care of the horses. Seeing as his sister was married and just gave birth to a daughter, this left Adam. And, luckily for him, his parents were fine with some friends coming over to help Adam out.

"Relax, man," Adam began, "I'll ride Buck."

"Wait, is he called Buck because he bucks people off?" you asked.

"You would be completely right, darlin'. Which, would be the reason I'm riding him and neither of you four will be doing that."

Adam put the truck in park and you got out of the passenger seat. Yes, you had ridden in the front because Adam said you could because of your motion sickness. Jay wasn't too happy, but it was Adam's car, so therefore it was Adam's rules.

You got inside the house and it had two extra bedrooms, one of which was Adam's childhood room and had an extra twin bed in it for when his friends wanted to sleepover (Because, in Adam's words, it was only girls who shared beds at sleepovers and he said guys didn't do that, so that's why there was the extra bed). In his older sister's childhood room, there was a full-sized bed, so Hailey and Kim would share the bed and the boys said they'd move a couch into that same room for you to sleep on.

Adam opened the fridge once all of you had put your stuff in the rooms that would be yours for the weekend. "Ooooh, y'all, my mama left us some food!"

"Oh, he southern southern now," Kim laughed and walked over to the fridge. "What'd she make?"

"Let's see. We got fried chicken, mashed potatoes, cornbread, gravy, biscuits, grits, tater salad, peaches that she canned herself, and apple pie. She must really miss me if she cooked this much!" Adam laughed after he rattled off the food his mom made for all of you.

"Mama's cookin', paper plate, and tater tater salad," you said, quoting a song Jay had played on the way down here that you had taken a liking to and had added it to a playlist and been listening to it a lot the past week.

"Did you just..." Adam trailed off.

"She did!" Jay exclaimed.

"Is it that hard to believe that I know more than two country songs, y'all?" you asked.

All four of them gasped.

"She's southern! She's southern, y'all!" Hailey yelled.

"What?" you asked as you looked around at your brother, his girlfriend, and his two friends in confusion.

"That was yer first y'all, hun!" Hailey told you and pulled you into a hug. "Yer a regular southern belle now."

"Next thing you know, girl's gonna be fallin' for cowboys," Adam said.

"Aw, hell nah," Jay said. "Ain't no way she's datin' a cowboy. No way."

"Shit, Jay just went southern southern, too," Adam laughed.

"What can I say, when my girl goes hella Georgia, I go hella Tennessee," Jay said.

"That made zero sense, baby, but okay," Hailey said. She turned to Adam. "When we ridin'?"

"We can go right now if you want. Everyone good with that?"

You all nodded and then Adam told all of you to put on your cowboy hats.

***

"This 'ere's Maddy," Adam said before he helped you onto the horse. You put your feet in the stirrups. "They feel good? You can reach 'em well?" he asked.

"Yeah," you told him. "Thanks."

"You're welcome, darlin'." He turned to Jay, Hailey, and Kim. "You three remember how to get on the horses since we rode so much last year?"

"We're good," Jay said.

"Hey, baby?" Hailey asked and turned to Jay. He turned to look at her. "You think you can help me on 'im? Pretty sure Diablo's gotten a lot bigger since I rode 'im last."

"Yeah, sweetheart, I got that."

"Did he just..." you trailed off and looked at Kim.

"He did," she confirmed. "She turns into sweetheart around this time every year. Jay gets really southern after only being here a week. Might also have something to do with Adam calling me sweetheart sometimes and he just picks up on it."

Jay helped Hailey onto the huge horse named Diablo and then got on his horse. You were riding Maddy, Adam was riding Buck, Jay was riding Sinbad, Hailey was riding Diablo, and Kim was riding Atta'Boy.

"All y'all need to watch me now," Adam announced from the front. All four of you gave Adam all your attention. "Well, mostly Y/N because she's never ridden before." He paused. "To make your horse stop, just give the reins a little tug. To turn, hold the reins on your right side, and pull towards your right hip, like this." He demonstrated and pulled the reins like he told you and Buck's head turned to the right. "And turn left, do the same thing on the left side. To make them go, just flick the reins a little bit, but they're pretty well-trained, so you shouldn't need to do that. But, if they still won't go, give 'em a little kick. I promise you won't hurt 'em. But, most of all, keep at least one hand on the reins at all times. Oh, and they will try to eat on the trails, but they ain't supposed to, so try and get them to stop by pulling up on the reins if you can.

"Any questions? Everyone sure their stirrups and saddles are good?" Adam finished.

Everyone answered with a chorus of "yeses" and then the five of you were off...that was until Maddy decided she was hungry about a quarter-mile (400 meters) in.

And, to make matters worse, you were in the mountains (because everyone is in the mountains here) and Maddy was bringing you closer and closer to a small ravine.

You did not want to have the experience of trying to control your horse and deciding whether or not to jump off or not and possibly being rushed to the hospital.

"Maddy!" you yelled and tugged up on the reins. Nothing. "Maddy!"

"Pull hard!" Jay yelled from behind you.

"I am pulling, Jay!" you yelled back. "Come on, Maddy!"

Shit, she was still moving towards the edge and trying to eat more.

"Pull to the left!" Jay yelled. You pulled. Nothing. "All the way around! To your left hip!"

You did so and she moved. Finally.

"Now straighten out the reins," Jay told you. You did. "And give her a kick to move."

You did and she continued walking...this time with a huge branch and leaves hanging out of her mouth because she had gotten herself a nice little snack.

"What's with all the yellin'?" Adam asked as he turned his head around and had Buck slow down a little bit. Then, he saw Maddy. "Maddy stop to eat? She acts likes she's starvin', but I promise you she's not."

You kept going and then you started going down a hill.

"Lean forward when going down a hill," Adam yelled back to all of you, "and lean back when going up a hill."

You started going down the hill and kept trying to maneuver yourself so you were in the middle of the saddle. You felt like you were leaning too much to the right, so you kept trying to fix it, but with Maddy still walking, it was kind of hard.

You clenched your stomach muscles to try and pull yourself back to center, but it wasn't working. You tried to push up with your left foot because you were leaning to the right, but that wouldn't work either.

"Just hold on tight, Y/N," Jay told you. "Adam!" Jay yelled as you kept leaning to the right and pulled the reins a little harder to make sure that Maddy would stop.

"What?" Adam yelled back.

"We need a little help back here!"

Adam turned Buck around and he got halfway to you and stopped next to Hailey and Diablo.

"She's fallin' off, you big dummy! You gotta go!" Adam yelled. He flicked his reins. "C'mon, go!"

It was like Buck knew what was going on because the minute he lifted his head up and saw you trying to stay in the saddle, he started coming towards you.

"Buck, stay," Adam said sternly and jumped off him. He walked to your right side. "Now, I'm gonna push your saddle to the left and I need you to lean the same way, okay?"

"Lean to the left?" you asked.

"Yup," he confirmed. "One...two...three."

He pushed up and you leaned to the left, which allowed the saddle and you to be re-centered.

"Can you reach the stirrups okay, darlin'?" he asked. "Or do you need 'em a bit higher?"

"I think I need them a bit higher," you answered. "I thought they were fine, but I guess not."

"That's okay. That's what I'm here for. Take your right foot out."

You did as he said and then he adjusted the stirrups and helped you get your foot back in. Then, he did the same for the left foot.

While Adam was adjusting your left stirrup, Maddy was curious about what was in his first aid bag that was attached to Buck's saddle.

"I ain't got no treats in there, you fatty." He put his hand on Maddy's head. "There's nothin' in there for you. Get out." She started chewing on a drawstring that was on the bag. "Okay, I guess you can chew on that."

"So, to get her to turn, do I just pull like this?" you asked and showed Adam.

"Yes, but put your hand further down the reins when you do that. Works better like that."

"Okay, thanks."

"And, if she keeps tryin' to eat, pull up hard--but not too hard and far that you make her walk backward--and if that doesn't work, give her a quick kick. I promise you won't hurt this little fatty right here."

"Okay, awesome."

"You good?"

"I'm good," you confirmed.

"Okay, so if you ever need to adjust yourself, just grab this 'ere saddle horn." He put his hand on the stub on the front of the saddle. "And put two hands on it...unlike me, and then just push down with your foot on which side you want the saddle to go. Pretty simple."

"Okay, got it," you said.

Then, Adam jumped back on Buck and you were off again.

***

You and Kim were sitting up on the bed in Adam's older sister's childhood room that you were staying in and watching a dumb comedy when Adam poked his head into the room.

"Both you up?" he asked.

"Yeah," Kim answered. "Why?"

"Well, I want to go to the rope swing, and Jay and Hailey both fell asleep spooning while watching some shitty movie in the living room, so do you two wanna go? I'm bringing alcohol."

"Adam, it's like 11 o'clock at night!" Kim laughed. "We won't even be able to see the water!"

"Honey," Adam laughed. "I'll leave the headlights of my truck on! I'm not that stupid to have us jump in blind!" He paused. "You two in?"

"Sure," Kim agreed and then turned to you. "Y/N?"

"Why the hell not? I'm in college, let's go!"

"Alright, I'll let you two get changed and I'll grab the towels and the booze," Adam said.

"Adam, if you're the one driving, you cannot drink a ton!" Kim told him.

"I know! I'll just take like two shots and use moonshine as a chaser."

"You got more moonshine?" you asked.

"Holy hell, Adam," Kim agreed.

"Where do you two think I was the past hour? I went into town and grabbed a few flavors. and, I got both your flavors, too. So, y'all can't yell at me. Now, get changed so we can go before Jay and Hailey wake up and decide they want in on this, too."

***

"You good to sit in the back, Miss Car Sick?" Adam asked you.

"Yeah, you said it's only like a five minute drive, so I'll be fine. Thanks for asking, though," you answered.

"No problem, darlin'."

Then, the three of you were off to this rope swing to jump into a river in the middle of the night.

Five minutes later, Adam threw his car in park and left the radio and headlights on. The three of you got out and Adam grabbed the booze and shot glasses and then you followed him around to the back of his truck. He handed the stuff off to you and Kim to hold while he flipped his tailgate down. Then, he used the flashlight app of his phone to see as he poured each of you a shot of gummy bear flavored vodka.

"Cheers to late night decisions and possibly bad decisions!" Adam toasted.

The three of you clinked your shot glasses together and then took the shots.

"Shit. That was strong," you coughed.

"Chaser, chaser," Adam said as he flipped open the sip cap on the blackberry moonshine.

He handed it to you and you took a few sips.

"Compared to that shot, this moonshine tastes like nothin'," you said.

"See? Told you it had a low proof!" Adam exclaimed. "Now, do you two want me to go first so I can show you how it's done?"

"That might be a good idea, yeah," Kim agreed. "You've only brought me here during the day and it's been over a year, so yeah, you go first, cowboy."

"Oh, that reminds me." He took his signature cowboy hat off. "Hold this for me, will you, sweetheart?" He held the hat out to Kim and she took it from him. "Thank you. Now, watch and learn, ladies, watch and learn."

Kim laughed. "Whatever you say, babe, whatever you say."

Adam walked up to the edge of the river and waded in the water to grab the rope. You and Kim stood on the edge of the river and watched as Adam dragged the rope with him as he stood on a rock, which was right below the tree that the rope was tied to. Then, he cinched the rope between his feet and jumped up and swung forward.

"Yeehaw!" Adam yelled.

Then, after a few seconds, he let go of the rope and fell into the river.

The rope dangled back and forth until Adam grabbed it and dragged it in with him.

"Who's next?" he asked as he held the rope out.

"You wanna go, Kim?" you asked.

"You sure you don't wanna go before me?" she asked.

"Yeah, I'm sure. Go ahead," you said.

"You nervous, darlin'?" Adam asked you as he took his hat back from Kim and placed it on his head.

"A bit." You looked down at your feet. "Are there snakes in there?" you practically mumbled.

"Oh, darlin'," Adam said with a wave of his hand. "I can promise you that there's no snakes in there. You've never seen a snake in there have you, baby?" he asked Kim.

"Nope, no snakes. I promise. Now, I'll go, and then you gotta go because it's so much fun!"

Kim grabbed the rope and then made her way up onto the rock. She did the same thing that Adam did and soon it was your turn.

"I'm stealing your aux, babe," Kim said as she walked toward Adam's truck.

Adam raised an eyebrow. "I don't know why you can't just listen to the radio like we've been doing, but go ahead, baby."

Kim walked over to the truck and changed the input to aux and then quickly pulled up Spotify. From there, she pulled up the song Like A Lady by Lady A, formerly known as Lady Antebellum. She turned the volume all the way up on her phone, plugged it into the aux, and hit play.

"Lady!" came out of the speakers as well as the opening chords.

You gasped as Kim came running back to you and Adam.

"How'd you know this one of my favorite songs?" you asked.

Ever since Hailey had played it for you on your first night in Tennessee when you were unpacking and sippin' on moonshine, you loved this song. It was all about feeling like a lady while wearing jeans and drinking and being comfortable with yourself and not needing a man.

"Y/N, I follow you on Spotify. I can see what you listen to. Now, go get to it, lady!" Kim cheered.

You smiled and turned around. You walked to the rock and climbed up on it just before the chorus. You grabbed onto the rope.

"'Cause I feel like a lady," you sang loudly to the music. "Sippin' on tequila with my Levis on."

You clamped your feet around the rope and jumped.

You felt weightless for just about one second and then you let go of the rope and fell into the water with a splash.

The water wasn't freezing, it was a little cold, but it was still decently comfortable. You started swimming back to the shore and grabbed the rope when it swung back toward you.

"Hell yeah!" Adam yelled as he ran up to you and took the rope so you could pull yourself up onto the river bank. "You did awesome! Did you like it?"

"I loved it! Let's do it again!" you yelled.

"See?" Kim said. "I told you that you'd love it!"

"I propose a celebratory shot for Y/N's first time jumping off the rope swing!" Adam said and the three of you headed back to his truck to have more booze.

And that is how you learned that you didn't get hangover headaches like Kim, but got hella tired the next day just like Hailey. But, a little hangover (despite not being old enough to legally drink) was all worth it because of how much fun you, Kim, and Adam had.

***

Months later

"Welcome to Chocolate Moose, everybody!" Adam announced and fumbled with the lockbox to get the key.

Since it was exam season, there was a tradition that started during the winter semester of their sophomore year that was where they'd all go up to a cabin (each cabin had a name and yours was Chocolate Moose) in Pigeon Forge, Tennessee, which was an hour away from school, to go study without the temptation of parties and the libraries that were packed as hell and barely had any seats open because everyone and their mama had decided to study there.

He unlocked the door and opened it.

You walked in and were in awe. When you walked in, you saw a small kitchen complete with a stove, oven, microwave, and pots, pans, plates, bowls, cups, mugs, and silverware stored in cabinets and drawers. There was also a small pantry to your right the minute you walked inside.

Off of the small kitchen were the living room and the dining area. There was a circular wooden table with six chairs and there was a tv and a couch that folded out into a bed. Right next to that was a bedroom with a bathroom, which also had its own tv in it.

And, if you walked to the end of the living room, there was a door that led to the first-floor deck that overlooked the Smoky Mountains. On the deck was a wooden table that matched the wood of the deck and six stools, so it would be a nice place to study or eat breakfast or sip coffee in the morning.

The stairs to go to the second floor were above the table (so the table was tucked beneath the second set of stairs). When you got up there, there was a pool table, a bubble hockey table, another couch that folded out into a bed, and a coffee table in front of said couch.

To the right of the couch and coffee table was a California king-sized bed with a trunk in front of it which held the bedding for the pull-out couches. Then, there was a dresser with a mirror to the side of the bed and a closet. There was also a full bathroom with a washer and dryer and a dressing table (so tons of counter space and two mirrors) upstairs as well.

And, there was another deck on the second floor. This one didn't have a full-sized table, but it did have two chairs with a small table between, and a small couch complete with a bunch of throw pillows on one end of the deck. This deck too overlooked the beauty that was the Smoky Mountains.

"Who's that?" you asked fifteen minutes later after you had finished touring the cabin and figuring out sleeping arrangements.

It had been decided that Adam and Kim would take the first-floor bedroom and that you'd take the pull-out couch on their floor. Hailey and Jay would sleep upstairs and you wondered why you couldn't take the upstairs couch like you wanted to because Jay was quick to tell you no.

You knew they weren't gonna try to do the nasty up there since there was no door shutting the upstairs off from the downstairs, so you had no idea why he wouldn't let you sleep on the pull-out couch upstairs.

"Who's that?" you asked again while looking out the kitchen window.

Then, you saw a head of red hair in the driver's seat and rushed out the door to where the person parked their car.

"Will!" you shouted as he got out of the car. "I missed you!" You wrinkled your nose at what he was wearing: a pair of blue scrubs.

"I drove here right after I got off a twelve-hour ED rotation," Will told you. "Hence the scrubs."

"I would give you a hug, but who knows what kinda bodily fluids have been on those."

"Good choice. We'll postpone the hug until after I take a quick shower and change."

Adam, Kim, and Jay came outside and said their hellos to Will, and Jay took Will's backpack, making a joke saying that it felt like he stuffed a ton of rocks in there.

So, now you knew why you couldn't sleep on the pull-out couch upstairs: Will was sleeping there.

***

"Fuck!" you yelled as you felt a bee sting you on the upper part of your left inner thigh.

"What?" Adam asked.

You, Adam, and Kim were outside at the table on the first-floor deck studying while Will was upstairs studying and Jay and Hailey were studying one of their law studies classes at the kitchen table together.

"The fuckin' bee stung me!"

"Well, you were swattin' at him, darlin'," Adam said, which earned him a smack to the arm from Kim.

"Because he was between my legs!" you argued. "What was I supposed to do? Let him fly up my shorts and sting me there? Oh hell no!"

You got up and walked inside.

"Will!" you shouted the minute you closed the door to the deck.

"Y/N! Keep it down!" Jay scolded. "We're trying to study!"

You had made it up the first set of stairs and leaned over the railing. "Well, I just strung by fuckin' bee, so I think I can yell a bit, Jay! Will!"

"What?" he said and ripped out his headphones when you got all the way upstairs. "Med school's no joke, you know!"

"Well, what do I put on a bee sting?" you huffed.

Will sighed. "Hold on. They asked me to be the one who brought the first aid kit and I'm glad I did."

He got up and then came back with a bottle of lotion.

"Put this on it. Should cool down the stinging. Tell me if it gets worse or starts itching."

"Okay, thanks."

You put it on and hoped it would be better soon.

***

Okay, so this bee sting wasn't getting better. It was actually getting worse.

It had been itchy all day and you were currently shaving your legs in your shower. You felt the place where the bee had stung you and it was swollen as if someone had shoved a disk the size of an Oreo in your leg at the place the bee had stung you.

You got out of the shower, got changed, and walked out of the bathroom where country music was blasting and Jay and Adam were playing a friendly (okay, so maybe not so friendly) game of pool.

"Hailey, is my bee sting supposed to be super itchy?" you asked as you sat down on the couch next to her.

She and everyone else was drinking one of their two allotted white claws. Yes, during finals week you had all decided there needed to be a daily cut-off for alcohol so that you could all get your shit done. And, it helped keep everyone accountable since everyone in the cabin was only having two per day...and you weren't spending a ton of money this weekend on alcohol.

"Um, none of mine have ever been," she said. "Will!" He turned to look at her from where he was sitting and intently watching the pool game...mostly to make sure neither Adam nor Jay cheated. "Her bee sting supposed to itch?"

"Not unless she's allergic to bees...and she's not." He stood up. "Go lay on the bed and let me take a look."

"Oh, fuck no! I am not letting my brother look there!"

"Y/N, I'm a med student. I've seen a helluva lot more than a bee sting on your inner thigh. You can even go put on some short spandex if that would make you more comfortable."

You currently had on loose-fitting shorts that you knew would fall back to expose what underwear you were wearing if you let Will take a look. "Actually, I think I'll go do that," you said.

You quickly grabbed a pair of spandex from your suitcase and went back into the bathroom and changed into them.

"Y'all check for a stinger?" Adam asked.

Will must've filled him in when you were changing your shorts.

"Shit," Will cursed. "I knew there was something I forgot to do."

"What kinda fuckin' doctor are you if you forget to check something like that?" you asked Will rhetorically. "Hailey, I'm gonna need that empty white claw bottle to smack Will over the head with like you did to Jay on the river."

"Sorry, hun," Hailey apologized. "I ain't finished with this 'ere can yet."

"I'll hit him!" Jay yelled, putting down his pool stick and grabbing his empty can.

He hit Will on the arm with the empty white claw can as hard as he possibly could.

"The fuck?" Will yelled. "Why'd you do that?"

"I dunno." Jay turned to Adam. "Why were we hitting Will, again?"

"Holy shit," Adam muttered to himself. "Because he forgot to check Y/N's bee sting to see if the stinger was still there."

"Oh, okay. That was stupid, Will."

You laid on the bed and let Will look at the spot the bee stung you. Then, he put on a pair of gloves and pulled out a pair of tweezers.

"Hailey?" he called. She looked up expectantly. "Can you come over here and hold up a flashlight? I think I found the stinger."

Hailey got up and turned on the flashlight on her phone and crouched down next to Will.

"That good?" she asked as she finished positioning the phone so the phone's flashlight was pointing directly at your bee sting.

"Yup." He looked up at you. "Now, I'm gonna put one of my hands above the bee sting, that way you won't be able to see the tweezers go in. Sound good?"

"Mhm. At least this is better than when Jay tried to attack me with a snake!"

Will laughed. "I bet."

Five minutes later, the stinger was out and Will told you to put Neosporin and a bandaid over it just so you didn't keep itching it because he told you the itchiness wouldn't go away immediately.

"I need a drink," you said after you were all done.

Hailey handed you a raspberry white claw from the mini-fridge next to the couch and you popped it open.

"Thanks," you said.

"You're welcome."

"Everyone shut up!" Adam yelled. "This is Jay and Hailey's song...well, they didn't exactly meet at a bar and Hailey wasn't drinking a white claw, but it was a Saturday and those two did ditch us. So, dance you two!"

They tried to object, but Adam dragged Jay over to Hailey and Kim pushed Hailey up off the couch and towards Jay.

"Sittin' over there in the corner, baby, I saw pretty red lips workin' on a white claw," you all sang along to Single Saturday Night by Cole Swindell. And, you'd be lying if you said that this song didn't remind you of the story that Jay had told you about the first time he took Hailey out when she was bored one Saturday night in a sports bar. "Shakin' to a little Shook Me All Night Long. And I thought, man, what a beautiful sight."

You smiled. Four months ago, there'd be no way you'd know this song. But, thanks to your brother's friends and his girlfriend, you knew so many more country songs. But, most of all, if your first semester of freshman year was any indication, you were going to have the time of your life going to college here in Tennessee.

A/N: Thank you guys so much for reading! Again, please remember to like/reblog and comment because I love reading all your comments and seeing that you voted because that means you enjoyed reading the imagine! As always, if you want to be added to my taglist, just tell me and I’ll add you! Again, I am donating all my proceeds on buy me a coffee until the end of AU-gust to Save The Children to help the children in Afghanistan. Buy me a coffee here.

Taglist: @theambracer88 @virtualreader @kelelas-life @celyndavies @brookerz122493 @musicismyescape27 @anotherfan07 @thexplosivegirl@dreamingwithlens @xoxmariaxox @onechicago18 @iamasimpingh0e @i-like-sparkly-things @herecomesthewriterwitch @liampayne88

[karajaynetoday]

i'll be honest, it's better off this way | luke hemmings

image credit 

hello pals! long time no writing! i know it seems a bit weird to post a luke break up fic just after he got engaged but to be fair, I already had this in the works before the news broke yesterday, so soz not soz. It is kind of a happy break up story though... kind of? this one features lyrics from our song by niall and anne marie that are in italics throughout the piece (you know i love a song lyric incorporation lol) and i’m a bit rusty, so any feedback is welcome! a big shoutout to my dearest @notinthesameguey​ for beta-reading this one for me, you’re a gem blanca! enjoy xo

Word count: 2.3k

Warnings:  mentions of a break up and a car accident/hospitalisation (minor/non-graphic)

(This is a fem reader insert)

More writing here | send thoughts/feedback/suggestions here | if you’d like to be on my taglist go here

I'll be honest, I'm alright with me

Sunday mornings, in my own bedsheets

The break up with Luke had been easier than you’d first thought. It’d been months of growing apart, feeling like a stranger in your own home, before you finally worked up the nerve to utter those four words: We need to talk. He’d been spending most days and some nights in the studio, and you’d been working overtime at your job too; you were ships in the night who barely had time to say hello and goodbye, let alone have any sort of proper conversation. You’d spent an entire evening rehearsing a script in your head, and as soon as Luke walked through the door and greeted Petunia, you mustered the courage to stand up and speak your truth. 

It turned out that you weren’t alone in feeling stagnant in your relationship, and although you could feel your heart breaking as you said the words, Luke’s hand on your knee was all the gentle reassurance you needed. Just like always, even when your relationship was falling apart, Luke was there for you. And that’s what he promised, that night in the living room. It didn’t make sense for you two to become strangers overnight after 3 years together, but you also both knew that you needed space to grow and heal, and that space needed to happen sooner rather than later. 

You could tell that part of Luke wanted to fight it, wanted to raise his voice, wanted to convince you to stay. But part of Luke also knew that it was time to walk away, no matter how much his heart was feeling like it was being ripped out of his chest, because he did truly love you, and if he loved you, he’d let you go. 

Even though Luke insisted you could stay in the spare room for as long as you liked, it only took a week or so to find a new place. An apartment in KayKay’s building opened up for rent, and thanks to her help, you secured the lease and started moving in as soon as you could. Ashton accompanied you to Ikea and then helped with assembling a new bed and dining table for you, while KayKay helped unpack some of your boxes. You could tell that they were trying to be sensitive, but at the same time were desperate to know what went down in the break up, and after a few slices of pizza and half a bottle of wine, you felt the emotions rushing to the surface.

“It feels dumb to get upset, after all, I was the one who suggested we should break up.” You sniffled, smiling sadly as Ashton handed you a tissue.

“Just because it was something that needed to happen, doesn’t mean you can’t be sad about it. You two shared a lot in the time you were together, it’s only natural that it’s going to take you a while to untangle yourselves from one another and to get your head and heart back on the path that’s right for you.” KayKay spoke softly, throwing an arm around your shoulders.

You knew she was right, and the healing would come; it was all part of the rollercoaster of walking away from someone you thought was the love of your life, but had turned out not to be. Time to adjust and find some independence, and re-shape the life you found yourself in until it was the life you wanted. 

But every time I think that I can get you out my head, you never, ever let me forget

Once you’d completely moved out Luke’s house, your reasons to contact him became few and far between. A few occasional texts to advise that he’d let his family know about your split, and a link to a new cafe nearby that he thought was your kind of vibe (and it absolutely was). Everyone in your friendship group was trying their best to help you both cope, but it was hard to avoid the awkwardness that came with a break up of close friends.  

You felt like you were walking on eggshells for a while, so you started to say no to invitations out. You threw yourself into a new work project, and barely replied to any group chats. Whenever your friends called, you had the perfect script rehearsed, about how you were going to be up for promotion, and after the next month or so, you’d have plenty more time for catching up with everyone. You were fairly certain that no-one believed your story, but you were sticking to it nonetheless. You’d seen photos online of Luke out and about with various beautiful women amongst the partying crew, and even though you knew better than to torture yourself with doom-scrolling through the internet, you couldn’t help yourself. You had to keep reminding yourself that it was YOU that wanted the breakup, and that it was for the best. Or something like that.

It was coming to the end of your big project, and the entire office decided to head out for celebratory drinks. You only stayed for a couple, because after a month of overtime you were ready for bed. Your boss took you aside to assure you that the promotion was yours and the new contract would be on your desk on Monday, and as you reassured him you were excited to take on the role, a song playing over the bar’s speakers made you stop in your tracks. You’d spent many a Sunday morning dancing around the kitchen making pancakes with Luke and singing these words; something you’d completely forgotten until this moment. As you stepped outside to await your Uber, the first person you wanted to call with the news was Luke. Your fingers hovered over his name for a good few minutes before your Uber driver honked and broke you out of her trance, and you settled for texting the group chat instead to share your exciting update. Lots of confetti and heart eyes emojis started popping up alongside congratulatory messages, and you let out a giggle when you saw that Luke had sent a photo of Petunia with “congrats!” scrawled across it in purple font. It was the last thing you remembered, before the squealing of tyres and your vision going black. 

Just when I think you're gone, Hear our song on the radio

Just like that, takes me back, To the places we used to go

The rhythmic beeping of the hospital monitors was the first thing you noticed as you stirred awake. The second was a dull pain across your skull, and the third was that your arm was in a sling. Fourth was the large, warm hand that was holding your own and gently squeezing; without opening your eyes, you knew it was Luke’s. You felt too weak to say any words, so instead you tried your best to squeeze back as you slowly opened your eyes. You heard a sharp intake of breath, before Luke’s smiling face came into view.

“Hey there, sweetheart. How are you feeling?” Luke asked, reaching up to gently brush some hair out of your eyes.

“Like I was in a car accident.” You managed to croak out, shooting him a wry smile and earning a laugh in return.

“You are correct, you can pass go, and collect $200. A pretty gnarly accident, the car’s a write-off, but thankfully everyone’s injuries are relatively minor. Some dickhead ran a red light.” You could tell Luke was trying to remain calm, but under the surface he was pissed.

“Not ideal, but at least I get a few days off work.” You joked, grimacing as you tried to sit up. Luke stood and gently maneuvered your pillows to support your back and shoulders better, and you felt a zap of electricity as his hands brushed your arms in passing.

As Luke sat back in the chair next to the bed, you suddenly realised that it was just the two of you in the hospital room. 

“No offence, Hemmo, but what are you doing here? Considering we’re no longer significant others, and all…” You said awkwardly, looking down at your arm sling with sudden great interest.

“Very observant, dear. Glad to see the concussion hasn’t affected your short term memory, I was worried you’d forget me entirely. You did, however, forget to update your emergency contact details, so I guess I was first on the list for the hospital to call. Ash, KayKay and I have been taking shifts but they’re out getting food right now - “ The rest of Luke’s explanation was cut off by a gasp and a cheer at the door, signalling Ashton and KayKay’s return and subsequent delight at you being awake.

The days that followed were uncomfortable physically, but kind of heartwarming emotionally. You got home to your apartment thanks to KayKay’s assistance, and found that your friends had stocked your fridge and freezer full of ready-made meals and your favourite snacks. They’d also made a roster so not a day went by without someone popping in to check on you, although you noticed that Luke never came by. 

Your recovery was slow but steady, and soon enough the doctors gave you the all clear. At this point, it was nearly 6 months since you’d broken up with Luke, and you could feel your mindset shifting. He was no longer the first person you wanted to call with good or bad news, or the first memories that popped into your head when you needed cheering up. It almost felt like… relief? Because for the longest time, even though you knew the break up was for the best, detaching yourself from one another seemed almost in possible after so many years of so many memories. 

I've been waking up alone, I haven't thought of him for days

I'll be honest, It's better off this way

The tipping point came at Calum’s birthday party, a month or so later. Ashton had invited you out for coffee and nonchalantly mentioned that maybe, possibly, well actually extremely likely almost definitely Luke was bringing a date to the gathering at Cal’s house; a girl he’d been seeing for a month or so. Everyone wanted you to be comfortable, and everyone, Cal especially, wanted you to be there, but they also understood if you wanted to avoid any potential awkward encounters with Luke and his new love interest. You assured Ashton that it would be fine, that you honestly weren’t bothered, and laughed off his suggestion of setting you up with a super hot blind date to help level the playing field.

The night came along, and you found yourself stumbling along Calum’s front path in the dark as you tried not to drop the gift you’d bought for him (a new cookbook and a collection of various hot sauces).  “Bloody 5sos and the “no good party starts until 11pm rule”, you muttered to yourself as you almost tripped over again, and you heard an indignant shout that sounded very Ashton-like behind you.

“Oi! Don’t be mad at us, you know that rule has never let us down!” Ashton bellowed, as he came forward with his phone flashlight switched on, KayKay not too far behind him.

“Damn girl, you like fiiiiiine!” KayKay said, letting out a low whistle. You rolled your eyes, knowing she was exaggerating. Your outfit was essentially a denim skirt and a t-shirt - maybe you’d sexed it up a little bit with some thigh high boots, tousled hair and a red lip, but all’s fair in love and war, right?

The three of you made it inside, and a very tipsy Calum greeted you with open arms and a lot of excitement at your gift of hot sauce. It felt so nice to be back with all your friends at a house party, like the old days, and you found yourself stepping out onto the back patio for a moment of quiet reflection and to share some pats with Duke.

You’d exchanged a wave with Luke when you’d entered the house, but hadn’t quite worked up the confidence to go up and speak to him, especially when he had his new girl in close proximity. She looked really friendly, though, and you could tell from the spark in both of their eyes that their relationship was blossoming in the best possible way. Part of you thought you’d be upset about it, but all you truly felt was content. Content in your life as it was, surrounded by friends that loved you just as much as you loved them, and actually quite proud of how far you’d come over the past year. You’d learned to stand on your own two feet, and you’d grown into a much more settled, independent human as a result. 

You were lost in your train of thought when you heard the song change on the speakers inside. Duke’s ears perked up and he licked your hand attentively when you stopped patting him as the song registered - it was your song. Or at least, it used to be. You felt a smile creep onto your face when you remembered the Sunday mornings of pancakes and singalongs, and the smile grew wider when you saw Luke’s girlfriend dragging him onto the dancefloor, much to his (fake) protests. You made eye contact with your kind-hearted, softly-smiling, gentle-eyed ex-boyfriend, and for a split second you saw a flash of concern cross his face. In response, you raised your glass in a cheers and shot him a wink, which earned a smile and a small laugh from Luke before he turned his attention back to the beautiful girl in his arms. You took a sip, and smiled to yourself. It truly was better off this way. 

When I hear it, I just can't stop smiling, I remember you're gone

Baby, it's just a song on the radio, That we used to know

Taglist: If there’s a line through your name, I couldn’t tag you, so please message me to let me know your new URL or what the go is!   @suchalonelysunflower @blackbutterfliescal @redrattlers @loveroflrh @spicycal @notinthesameguey @metalandboybands @cheekysos @ashton-trash  @another-lonely-heart @queenalienscherrypie  @becihadshawn  @allthestarsandthemoon  @oyesmendes​ @andrianawinchester @333-xx  @findingliam-o @hoodhoran @rbforsmileycal @myloverboyash @myhappylittleyoutubee @saywhatnow07 @secretsicanthideanymore @ar1analara  @killmywildflower​

[xpeachesncream]

pw [1] | first dates & slow jams

perfectly wrong | drabble [1]: when your first official date with tae is full of surprises and slow jams

word count: 2.8k

warnings: unprotected shower sex, making out, cussing, mature language, sweet / delicate tae, you’re just in love with your man and want him 24/7

notes: here’s the first drabble of perfectly wrong! wrote this late last night cause the idea came to me so i had to get it done asap. lots of links included so make sure to click on ‘em. enjoy, ily 💗

"Are we almost there?" Taehyung scrunched his nose and chuckled at the way you were whining. He had one hand on the steering wheel, while one hand caressed your thigh.

"I told you 10 more minutes." He gently squeezed your thigh, hoping it'll help you settle for the remaining 10 minutes of your trip to who knows where. Taehyung had decided to take you out on an official first date, but he didn't give you any details. The only thing he had asked was for you to dress appropriately for the cold weather and to pack a bag. He had done a lot of planning over the last week, making sure every detail of this date was perfect and set in stone. He wanted this to be perfect for you. You were honestly really fucking excited, but you were getting restless because the moment Taehyung had stepped through your door, he instantly dragged you [politely] down to his car with all your belongings so that you could get a move on today's festivities. You didn't even get the opportunity to sit on his face or get a proper dick down with the way he was looking today. His hair was fluffier than usual, but he had gotten a fresh undercut, and boy, were your panties immediately soaked when you noticed it. "You're really that restless, baby? We weren't on the road for too long."

"I just—" You sighed and looked out the window.

"Mhm..?"

"I just really wanted you to fuck me before we left, honestly." You kept your gaze out the passenger window. Taehyung laughed and squeezed your thigh one more time before caressing it with his thumb.

"I promise I'll do that for you later, okay? Just hold on a little longer." You glanced over at him, biting down on his bottom lip to prevent himself from smiling any bigger. The rest of the ride was quiet, with Taehyung quietly humming along to Luther Vandross' If This World Were Mine playing softly through the car's speakers. After what seemed like an eternity, the car had pulled up to a small, very modernized hotel. You couldn't help but think that Tae had spent some bills for this weekend's plans, but then again, you really had no idea what was up his sleeve. Taehyung had parked his car a little further down in the lot, being there was a park and a lake in the back of the hotel. You hadn't been to this part of town before, but it seemed quiet and quaint in most parts.

Coming down from the car, Taehyung immediately runs to the passenger door to let you out. You notice he's empty-handed though, and you're a little confused as to why he isn't getting the bags out from the trunk, but you keep quiet to let his plans do the talking for you.

"Sorry, love. Just for a bit." He says, gently blindfolding you from behind.

"Babe, what are you up to?"

"Don't worry about it." He takes your hand and guides you. You feel your feet move from the concrete onto the grass, crunching some dead leaves along the way. Finally, Taehyung comes to a stop and lets go of your hand. You were left standing dumbfounded for a minute before he took the blindfold off. "Surprise?" He says in a questioning tone. You pout your lips at the sight, afraid you'd cry tears of happiness right now because you didn't wanna be too dramatic. But, this boy did it. Easily.

You teared up looking at the picnic set up in front of you, with to-go containers full of variety dumplings and steamed milk buns. You chuckled a bit, only because you were certain Taehyung was done with all your talk about craving dumplings. Yet, he pulls through just to make you happy.

"Aw, Tae. This is so beautiful. Thank you." You pouted before placing a kiss near the corner of his mouth.

"Do you like it?" His eyes lit up as you both sat down to begin chowing down on the food.

"Of course I do." He flashed his boxy smile and did a little happy dance in his seat.

"Then that's all I can ask for." Before you know it, you both are downing the champagne placed in the bucket next to you, while eating the food and enjoying the view. You couldn't help but continue to fall in love with him, and the way he had been trying his very best to treat you right and give you the world. He hadn't disappointed thus far, and you knew it was only going to continue going up from here. This was the side of Tae that you adored dearly and held closely to your heart.

After an hour of endless talking and joking around over dinner, you both had cleaned up to the best of your ability before the company that specialized in these types of soirees came to pick up their items and pack up their set up. Taehyung had grabbed both of your bags from the car and headed into the hotel, leading the way to check in, all the way to your suite. The suite itself was beautiful, decked out in all black, grey and white tones with a hot tub near the bathroom and at the front of the room.

"The hot tub." Your eyes lit up as you traced the outer border of the hot tub. Taehyung laughed while placing your bags on the floor and nodded in agreement.

"Pretty nice, isn't it?"

"Can we try it? Like, now?"

"Go for it, baby. Set it up." He fiddles with his phone and bluetooth speakers. You decide to tease him a little bit, casually slipping out of your clothes and letting them drop to the floor.

"Are you gonna come join me, orrrr?" You ask as you take your time slipping into the hot tub, making Taehyung's mouth drop and his eyes travel down your entire body. He instantly drops his phone and speakers onto the bed, keeping the song on Nice & Slow by Usher. You sink yourself into the hot water, watching your fine ass man strip down every last bit of clothing before joining you. His hardened member is already sprung upwards, causing you to smirk to yourself as you watch him sink into the water in front of you.

"Come here, beautiful." He says as he runs his wet hand through his soft, fluffy hair and reaches out for you to pull you closer. He places your arms around his neck while you straddle him, then wraps his arms around your waist to hold you tightly.

"This feels really nice."

"Yeah, it does." Taehyung says, planting soft kisses near your shoulder and collarbone. He looks up at you as you cup his face, bringing your lips onto his. The kiss continues to deepen, with Taehyung's tongue lining your bottom lip. You immediately give way, your tongues both fighting for dominance. You gently grip his face with your hand, one arm falling behind his neck, kissing him slowly and passionately. He pulls away for a moment to just look at you, his hands brushing the your hair back before returning his lips on yours. This whole makeout session is starting to make you feel hot and bothered, so you start to slowly grind your hips against his. He gives off a small moan before breaking the kiss. "What was it that you wanted me to do earlier?" He smirks, fingers tracing lines down the small of your back.

"I said I wanted you to fuck me." You nod sarcastically, making him chuckle. "You can't just walk into my apartment looking that good without laying it down on me." You say almost at a whisper as you twirl a strand of his hair around your finger. He bites onto his bottom lip before holding you tightly.

"Okay then, princess. Your wish is my command." He begins to lift you up as he stands. "Hold onto me."

"Babe, the floor is gonna get wet!" You squeal as you wrap your legs around him, watching as the water follows and drips everywhere onto the carpeted floor. "I know you aren't gonna bring us to the bed like this."

"See, that's the thing, sweetheart. I'm not. We're going to the shower." Instantly, you feel your pussy throbbing. Your man was going to give it to you in the shower and it was fucking exciting. He swings the shower door open, allowing you to drop down from his body and step in to the rather large space. He takes his sweet ol' time adjusting the heat of the water, looking at you for approval to make sure it isn't too hot for you. You reassure him with a smile before stepping underneath the showerhead to get your hair fully wet. You feel Taehyung's body slip behind you, his hardened member brushing against your ass, causing your breathing to hitch. His fingers begin to play around with your folds, swiping them up and down the slit before gently opening your legs wider and pushing two digits into you. He gently tugs on your hair just so he can see your face a little better from where he's standing, marveling at the sight of your eyes rolling to the back of your head as you begin to let out breathy moans of his name. His fingers start to pick up the pace, the wet sounds of them beating your pussy echoing in the glass shower. He places kisses along your neck, gently sucking on all your spots he has familiarized himself with over time.

"Ohhhh, shit." You slowly feel yourself losing control over your body, being that your orgasm is starting to peek its way through. Your hand snakes around to grip on the back of his neck, gripping tightly as you feel your walls constrict and pulsate against his digits, causing Taehyung to smirk and bite his bottom lip while you moan loudly in pleasure. He wastes no time and doesn't let you ride out the rest of your high before he's slightly bending you forward, gripping onto one leg and swinging it around his hip. He jerks his member a few times before he lines himself up against your entrance and slowly inserts himself inside. He lets out a small groan at how tight you feel wrapped around his cock, the wetness from the shower dripping down your body being an added bonus.

"Fuck, you always take me in so well, baby. So fucking perfect." He slowly picks up his pace, making sure you're comfortable as the only grip you have right now are the wet, shower glass walls, and his arm that's gripping you around the waist providing extra support.

"Give it to me, please." You plead, as Taehyung begins to thrust aggressively. The sound of your ass clapping against him fills the shower, giving Taehyung more leverage to pick up the pace even more. "Yes, yes, yes! Fuck me like that!" You yell with Taehyung giving off a groan. His fingers make their way down to your clit, rubbing it in a circular motion to help you reach your orgasm quicker. If you weren’t yelling so loudly, you could faintly hear the sweet sounds of Keith Sweat’s Nobody blasting through the speakers in the room.

"Shit, you always look so good bent over on my dick like this." He hisses as he feels your walls pulsate against his member, slowing down his pace ever so slightly to let you ride out your high this time. Ain't no man ever made you cum as hard and quickly as Taehyung did.

"God, you feel so good in me." You moan breathily as you try to regulate your breathing. You almost whine as you feel Taehyung suddenly pull out, feeling empty without his cock filling you up. He quickly turns you around and picks you up, pressing your back against the cold, glass wall while your legs wrap around him. You gasp a bit at how cold it feels now that you've both stepped away from the running water. He has you slightly rest against his hips while he fixes his position in order to insert himself inside of you. Your eyes close at the pleasure of him filling you up. His lips are grazing against yours as he tries his best to hold you steady, while thrusting slowly. You come to his aid, mustering all your upper body strength to hold onto him and grind your hips against his, causing him to tilt his head back in pleasure and let out a small moan.

"Baby." He mewls. "God, baby, you're so fucking good to me." He whispers, sending shivers down your spine as he's picking up his pace and guiding you to bounce on his cock. He gives your ass one loud, good smack before he grips it tightly, doing his best to spread your cheeks out while you continue to bounce on him.

"Taehhhyung—Mmmfff. H-ohhh baby." You can't even speak on how good this fucking feels and you can't wait till he fills you up with his seed. He's letting out small moans and groans as he's now holding you closely with one arm wrapped tightly around you and one hand against the shower wall while thrusting slowly and deeply. You nibble on his jawline, causing him to hiss and moan your name.

"Y/N." He repeats. "I'm gonna fucking cum all up in you, and you're gonna take it."

"Please." You beg.

"Cum with me. All over this cock. It's yours, princess." He groans at the end of his statement.

"Yeah, yeah, right there!" You squeal as he continues to thrusts slowly, yet aggressively, hitting your spot and causing you to hurl over the edge in minutes. The sudden constriction around his cock causes him to moan loudly, filling you up and coating your walls. You continue to hold onto him as you both regulate your breathing and ride out the last of your highs, lips grazing against each other. It isn't long before you're letting your legs down from around his waist, but Taehyung is having to catch you as you stumble, feeling weak all around the knees. "Ow, fuck." You laugh.

"You okay?"

"I can't feel my legs." You limp over to the running water to get yourself actually washed up this time.

"I'm sorry." He chuckles a bit before placing a kiss on your forehead. "I'll give you a good massage later, deal?" You nod. You grab whatever shampoo is already placed in the shower, but Taehyung grabs the bottle from you and squeezes a quarter size amount onto his hand. He gently turns you around as he lathers the shampoo into your hair, gently massaging your scalp as he makes sure every strand is covered.

"That feels so good." He smiles, watching you sigh contently and close your eyes while he continues to massage your head.

"Good." He kisses you on the temple before letting the water run down your hair, washing off the shampoo he had lathered on. You take your turn to do the same for him, looking him in the eye as you tip-toe a bit to get a good grip on his hair. He kisses your wrists, causing all the butterflies to be released in the pits of your stomach. You just loved the way he always kissed you on every inch of your body, like you were a true work of art. You both continue to wash each other in the shower, sharing kisses and playing in between before you both are satisfied and step out.

You brush your wet hair in the mirror on the vanity outside in the room after slipping into Taehyung's shirt. You watch as he sits on the bed and manspreads, the towel barely covering his area. Like, excuse me? The nerve he has to be pulling this shit right now. He catches you looking at him through the mirror and smirks, lightly tapping his thigh before you bite onto your bottom lip and turn around to face him.

"Wanna hop on again?" He winks. "You can take charge and use me." His tongue is pressed against his cheek playfully as he watches your eyes light up at the statement. Avant’s soft voice singing Makin’ Good Love is now making its way to the rotation, causing Taehyung to nod his head towards his way while leaning back and biting his lip.

"Say no more." You giggle as you crawl onto him, removing the shirt you had just put on.

"Atta girl." He says as he wraps his arms around you and tosses his towel off to the side, causing you to squeal and giggle in his arms. You couldn't get enough of him, and quite frankly, you both could fuck each other's brains out until the next morning and you'd be happy even with the lack of sleep.

You loved this boy, dearly. Just as he with you.