sahesha

[sahesha]

And also, we can compare them with Dante and Virgil from Devil May Cry game series, I guess. It's always been two brothers competing and/or trying to kill each other since Abel and Cain.

This has been rotting in my brain for too long and I need to prove that the parallels are not just in my head.

[ID: the first photo is vash the stampede making the love and piece sign, the second is don quixote rosinante making a peace sign, the third is millions knives from the manga shrouded in feathers, the fourth is donquixote doflamingo from the manga shrouded in feathers. End ID]

[sahesha]

I've just thought maybe they were both deliberately nurtured dysmorphic phobia in them by Big Mom. In the case of Katakuri, the man, with all his great power and Conqueror Haki, has to be obedient and humble to stay with his mother, and the suppression of his self-esteem by calling him ugly contributes to it. In the case of Pudding, she, the valuable specimen, has to exist in constant insecurity about herself and, therefore, she can never separate from Big Mom. It's a difficult task for abused and gaslighted children to leave their emotionally blackmailing parent because any child, even already adult, still waits for parents' unconditional love.

Some of Big Mom's kids are absolute freaks of nature I refuse to believe that they'd actually care that Katakuri's cheeks are scarred up and who the fuck would be bold enough now to talk shit to him and hurt one of his siblings ?

Also the fact that Katakuri and Pudding get treated like absolute monstrosities by their family for their appearances when some of Big Mom's kids are like... actual freaks of nature

Like look at Persopero's ugly ass. He looks like he should be on a registry or something like actually look at him

Then you got Mr Skeet Monster over here who everyone loves despite looking like a literal shot of jizz

This dude is literally a walking pumpkin. Like Big Mom actually popped a pumpkin put of her pussy

Dont get me started on this bitch. Why was the only thing he inherited from his mom was her child bearing hips ? He's a fucking scarecrow with birthing hips (I would still smash though)

But there's too many of them to get into how most of her kids are fucking freaky but you get the point, Katakuri and Pudding should be the least made fun of when a good portion of her kids look like they should be working at a freak show for ham scraps. Like how is she gonna tell Pudding her eye is ugly and that she should cover it when she has a fucking skeet monster for a son ?

[sahesha]

I rarely show up in Tumblr because there are too many happy people living their safe lives here while mine is breaking under the bloody boots of dictatorship.

[sahesha]

r u russian

I'm not Russian by my blood, I'm Yakut (you can google if you want), but yes, I live in Russia.

[sahesha]

hello I wanted to check up on you and ask how everything is going now

Russia has been waging a full-scale war for more than half a year against Ukraine. Mobilization begun in my country yesterday. Vladimir Putin, the «president», the murderer, the coward, threatens the whole world with a nuclear strike.

So I'm obviously not okay.

[sahesha]

TW: venting post

Last night I tried to kill myself. I found my old antipsychotics and ate a handful of them without drinking water, but instead of dying, I just fell asleep for a few hours and woke up even more miserable than before. Besides, my stomach and throat are sore right now.

I'm trying to get myself in order, pretending to be brave and open to the new day, but it's clearly not enough — I feel like I'm kidding myself.

Obviously, I can't cope.

We're always in pain physically and mentally, so we're (I mean all the alters of the system) always annoyed or angry, and it's — let's be totally honest — toxic. The ongoing war and the upcoming economic crisis don't add any peace of mind. It makes talking to us difficult to handle because we continue to hurt people with our behavior of a wounded and cornered beast. So they leave us alone, knowing perfectly well we're in great need of their help and support. We know that's their right because we're unbearable.

So that's the reason for ending me. Maybe it's better for us to stop existing.

I'm tired. I'm trying.

— 💜

[sahesha]

You are so pretty 😩😫

I don't think so at all, haha, but thanks! 💜

[sahesha]

I feel a bit better.

My gaze is kinda blank here, haha.

[sahesha]

Sahesha says ///

I woke up after a relatively long dormancy (if you remember, I'm nothing more that just an alter from a DID system) and realized the whole world was still burning in hellfire, and the system was also in ruins.

And I didn't want to wake up.

— 💜

[sahesha]

/// Doflamingo the Fallen Angel ///

For my beloved @rochiomaru! 💜🥺🦩

I'm happy I met you.

[sahesha]

/// Doflamingo (in cool striped pants, lmao) ///

A little thing for my cool & very attentive to small details friend @mastomysowner

I decided to publish all the recent drawings. Even if they're bad. 💜👉🏻👈🏻

[sahesha]

/// A tiny forest witch meets a sullen mushroom surgeon ///

I drew it for the cutest @tsunderedoctor 🥺🤲🏻💜

P.S.: The witch is not a child, she's just small like you, haha.

I hope you're doing well!

[sahesha]

Imagine if all this time the books that Doflamingo read (we know he likes to read) were on psychology and psychotherapy, and during the Dressrosa battle he was like: Law, you should work with your thirst for revenge, boy, it's toxic, it ruins you and your mental health.

Law: 💀🔪

[sahesha]

Doflamingo: my love language is giving gifts 🎁🎁🎁, so I presented an adorable ✨pile of psychological traumas✨ to my beloved brother ❤️ and little Law 🍄 (!!!)

[sahesha]

Zoro: I'm not a swordsman... I'm an island. A tiny island in the sea. You've made a mistake. Now sail by.

[sahesha]

Sahesha says ///

tw: a lot of tw; depression, mental health issues, suicide attempts, etc. — all my life is one big trigger warning.

What is my life like after graduating from high school: depression, psychosis, attempts to kill myself, psychiatric hospital, and again depression, psychosis, attempts to kill myself, hospital, depression, psychosis... ruined physical health, covid, cancer, war.

Lord, what else have you in store for me?

[sahesha]

I'm writing this post as a distraction from the ongoing atrocity.

Because of the film "Red," a local discussion of fatherhood in One Piece began recently. I don't have the energy to write long posts, so I want to share one of my vivid impressions from the past.

When Baby 5 tried to kill Doflamingo because he had gotten rid of another unlucky fiance, I was surprised by his perception of this situation. He let her attack him and destroy the palace's inner yard. The only thing Doflamingo did then was to stop her from killing him. Of course, we can explain it by his indifference to her feelings (I don't think he didn't care that much).

I know that's only my take, but—

But as a person whose parents shut up any of my emotions (because they're inconvenient and unwanted) by using insults and listing all my past failures, I took that episode as a revelation.

It turned out a parental figure can just let your emotions be expressed and not let you and others get hurt in the process.

God, that's creepy. My parents are worse than the antagonist in some ways.